#I just called the city hall to see how my residence is going

[verdi-gris]

I love living in Belgium, but the discrimination I get from people working in government institutions is becoming a lot. Your job is literally to work with immigrants. If you don’t like us, then find another job.

[astralflower-writes]

just visiting

♡ pairing: alex karev x female! reader

♡ genre: angst to fluff

♡ warnings: small season 9 spoilers (plane crash) & family issues

♡ part two, part three, part four, special scenes

♡ check out my grey's anatomy masterlist here

going back to seattle will never be one of your plans. but, your mother had to pick seattle as one of the destinations for your so called family road trip.

to add more, you had to stay in town for a few days. it's not like you hate the city.

it's where you've met your soulmate. your person, alex.

but when you were on your last year residency, you had to leave. not only because of all the crisis that hit seattle grave mercy west that time, you were also offered a job at hopkins, your dream hospital. to start your fellowship.

fortunately, alex was also offered to start a fellowship there.

but, the plane crash happened.

he couldn't just leave the hospital. especially with what happened to arizona.

"you can't be for real y/n." he said following you onto your shared bedroom.

he proposed that morning and now, you're packing your stuff up.

"we said we'd stay!"

but, now you can't.

"is this about your family y/n? is that why you can't answer me? i swear if they're talking crap about me again i'll–"

"you want to know how they're treating me because of us?" stopping at by the doors.

"you know about this. alex i–"

"and yet you listen to them huh." scoffing at what you said.

"if you walk out of that door, we're done y/n."

after five years, you were back. you convinced yourself you were just visiting and checking the sights you never seen or had the chance to see when you were still living in the city.

you were on your hotel room when your four year old boy, lucas, who just came back from a walk with your parents suddenly threw up on the carpet.

"i don't feel good mama."

you called for an ambulance and of course it brought you to where you started your career as a doctor.

as your son was brought in the emergency room. one of your former colleague and a very close friend noticed you.

"y/n?"

"meredith!"

she walked towards you. "how are you? and you've got a kid!" she said hugging you.

"i'm fine, mer." you replied, hugging her back.

"are you staying long?"

"does alex—" she was interrupted when your son started to cry and vomit again.

you came back to his side and started to rub his back for comfort.

"no. he doesn't know i'm here." you replied shortly.

"just so you know he's the one on-call on peds today."

"and let's catch up after work." with that she hugged you again before going back to her patient.

while waiting for the doctor on-call to come down. you made the time to pray that it's arizona or another doctor will come down.

"where's the–" he stopped in the middle of the emergency room.

he certainly did not expect you to be somewhat in seattle. and of course, he did not expect for you to have a kid.

he saw the way you were talking to the child. promising something which made the kid smile. but shortly after, the kid reached for the basin and vomited again.

from that, he got out of his daze and walked towards the two of you.

"how are you feeling little champ?" he said standing on the bedside.

"i don't like it." he said turning himself towards you.

alex looked at you and asked you what happened. "he was fine before he went out with my parents. he said he ate something from the sea."

"from the sea huh." alex said examining your kid.

"i tried to ask which is it but he's really not in the mood to be specific." you said brushing his hair out of his face.

after alex looked at him more "he's already getting fluids and i already ordered some meds but i'd like to keep him overnight for observation."

you agreed. "y/n i–" he was interrupted when lucas started to call for you.

"i'll check up on him again later." he said before letting himself out of the emergency room.

after settling in and calling your parents. you had the chance to take a breather. walking in the halls with some of the staff recognizing you. you finally reached the cafeteria.

"can we talk?" alex's voice came from behind. you motioned for him to take the vacant seat in front of you.

"so...you've got a kid huh." he said starting the conversation.

"yeah. he's smart and funny..."

"i met him three years ago from a program we did back at boston. and instantly fell in love with him. can't believe that i'd be falling in love an infant though." both of you letting out a laugh.

"you know, i waited for you text or something." he spoke again.

"i waited over there too." you said smiling sadly at him.

"so you're the chief of peds surgery now huh." you said pointing at his coat. "yeah. robbins gave me the job, so she can do neonatal."

"are you staying?"

you stood up from the table before answering. "we're just visiting."

after that talk with alex, you went back to lucas' room. he's finally asleep after vomiting all afternoon.

"you can go back to the hotel and rest up." sitting at the end of the bed. "lucas' doctor, karev. isn't he that ex-boyfriend of yours?" your father asked as they were gathering their things.

"it's a good thing you listened to us cause you're doing way better than him, i mean have you seen him? hopkins is way better than this–"

"can we drop this conversation dad?" you said sighing as took as seat beside your child's bed.

"i'm just saying that you're doing way better than–" with your father not dropping the subject, it made you mad. all those years of torment of them hearing how great you are now just because you listened to them and left seattle.

"do you think i was fine after i left this hospital? i listened to everything the both of you said because i can't bear how you were treating me."

"the only good thing that happened to me over there is lucas! and don't think i didn't know what you said about me adopting him cause i–" you received a slap from your mother.

"how dare you speak to your father like that? we were only looking out for you and you adopting a kid you just saw at a program was–"

"out. i've heard enough." your mother protesting woke up lucas. "mama... where's grandma and grandpa going?"

"the-they're going home sweetie. we'll just visit them after we go home tomorrow okay?" rushing to his side so you could help him go back to sleep.

after your parents left, meredith was standing by the door. "are you okay? cause this is just my cup of tea y/n, i mean, mommy and daddy issues?"

laughing from what she said, you let her take a seat on the chair by bedside. "so you heard the whole thing."

"pretty much."

"well, hopkins was great. but you know, this place was my home, mer." sighing, and thinking that all of the things that happened today made you tired enough for days.

"i could hire you." she said nonchalantly. "are you serious?" you said in disbelief.

"you don't think i'm serious? i kinda own this place now."

"we could head down and sign the contract." looking at her, checking to see if she's really saying the truth.

"no. i–i can't." standing up and hushing your child as he started to turn again. "why? is it alex?"

"it's kinda stupid but yeah."

"what's stupid is the both of you are still in love with each other and you're not together."

"pretty sure he moved on mer. the minute i walked out on him. we were done." you said getting a cup of water and some apple slices which you presume was for your child.

"no. he still loves you."

"i left him after he proposed mer."

meredith stopped at what she was about, shocked at what she's hearing. "he proposed?"

"then i left him." you sternly added. "so that's why he always have this small box on his coat or pocket."

"what?"

"i think you weren't supposed to know that." she suddenly changed the topic about you and your program at hopkins and it turned to how you met your kid and how she loves her kids. just the both of you catching up.

the next day, meredith came back to check on the both of you for the third time. "are you sure you don't want to work back here, cause i told bailey and she's more than glad to have you back."

"mer–"

"we're moving here mama?" your kid said looking up from where he was playing with his toys.

"do you want to live here, sweetheart?" meredith asked him as she sat beside him.

"can we live near auntie mer?" lucas asked too excited. meredith looked at you with a smug grin on her face.

"bailey has an offer that tops hopkins." she said as she started to play with your kid again.

"fine. i'll talk to bailey, but i don't promise anything."

"i'll take it."

you didn't know how she convinced you to talk to bailey about your job here. but boy, meredith and bailey pulled out the big guns.

"look, i love the offer dr. bailey, but i just got here yesterday and–"

"we'll keep the position open for you dr. y/l/n, it would be really great to have you back with us." with that, you left the office wondering how you and lucas would be happier here.

to your surprise, alex was the one playing with your child.

"hey, where's aunt mer?" asking as you walked in. "she has a person to cure, mama." your kid said not looking up.

"your mama's back now, champ. i'm going now." alex said as he ruffled lucas' hair. "don't go! i love playing with you!"

"baby i'm sure dr. alex has some patients to cure too." your kid started to have tears forming on his eyes, but he tried his best not to let one tear out.

"how about we, uhh--" you can't find a pretty good excuse for lucas to feel better.

"hey how about this. you and you're mom are going home in a few hours, right?" alex asked and he nodded. "you play with your mama first, and i'll come back after curing my patients?" lucas looked at you for a signal and you smiled at him which he took and nodded at alex. "you promise uncle alex?"

alex was quite taken aback by the way he called him. the whole time the both of you were around, he always called him by 'dr. alex'

"yeah. i'll be quick."

you mouthed thank you at alex and went to your kid's side, starting to play with him.

"ma?"

"yes?" the both of you are now eating your lunch, well you're doing most of the eating.

"auntie mer said uncle alex is special to you." almost choking at what he said, you tried to hide the coughing. "she told you that?"

sipping water trying to compose yourself. "h-he is, sweetheart."

[mcuamerica]

The Shadowsinger: Seventeen

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. angst, Az is a bit of an asshole in this, mentions of parental abuse, mentions of death/grieving, fluff, canon level violence, ACOTAR series spoilers. If I forgot anything, please let me know!

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: You join the IC in their visit to Hewn City.

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

My graphics are my own. If you wish to use them, please give credit!

Series Masterlist

Twelve - Thirteen - Fourteen - Fifteen - Sixteen

“Rhys wants you to join us at the Court of Nightmares.” Azriel said the next day during your breakfast. 

You looked up from your meal, glancing around at the Illyrians sitting around you. “You’re going to the Court of Nightmares?” You asked. 

“Yes… unfortunately. We’ll need to call in the Darkbringers soon�� and we need something for the Queens.” He said. 

“Why does Rhys want me there?” You asked, moving around your food. The thought of going to the Court of Nightmares didn’t sit well with you. You might be able to handle the Illyrians… but the residents of Hewn City were different. You remember being stuck Under the Mountain, fashioned after the city. Your thoughts drifted to the horrors you went through there. If Under the Mountain was fashioned after it… 

Azriel rested a hand on your knee, low enough under the table the other Illyrians couldn’t see. He and the shadows sensed the direction of your thoughts. “Because you’re part of the Inner Circle now.” He said. “And you’re one of us. We would never let anything happen to you.” 

Your eyes shifted to his hand, the gentle squeeze he gave you grounding you back to reality. “I’m part of the Inner Circle?” You asked. 

“I’m pretty sure Rhys thinks of you as his sister, so yes.” He said, pursing his lips to hide his smile. 

“And what do you think of me as…” You asked, leaning closer to him. To hell with what the Illyrians thought. You were falling hard for the male next to you and if that made you weak… then so be it. 

Azriel studied your eyes, the smile finally slipping from his lips. “So much more.” He whispered, then leaned back. “Finish your meal. I have a surprise for you.” He said and stood up, squeezing your shoulder. “Meet me at the Far East training ring in ten minutes.” He said before walking out of the mess hall. 

You took a deep breath, shaking the thought of him from your mind as you finished your meal. In five minutes, you appeared at the training ring, seeing a smaller version of the qualifying course set up. “This is where the males practice before they officially try the course.” Azriel said. “Five laps for warm up, stretches, and then you’ll run this until you finish in under ten minutes.” He said. 

You bit your lips. “Powers at all?” You asked and he shook his head. “Only training weapons.” He said, nodding to the weapons rack. 

“When did you set this up?” You asked and started stretching out your arms and legs for the day. A flash of his head between your legs went through your mind and you turned away, studying the course. You couldn’t be distracted. 

“When you were still sleeping this morning.” He answered. 

He made you run the course all day, only breaking for lunch. By the end of it, you had finished it in 15 minutes. You couldn’t get past the large rock wall that was set up. How in the Cauldron Azriel dragged that over here, you couldn’t figure it out. Unless Rhys came over and transported it with his magic. 

You were sore and exhausted by the time night fall came, just in time for Rhys to walk into the cabin. Azriel looked up from where he was rubbing your shoulders. Your felt heat rise to your face, hoping Rhys wouldn’t say anything. Friends could give each other massages… 

“I see you two are on speaking terms now.” Rhys said and leaned against the table next to the door. “Did Azriel tell you about Hewn City?” He asked. 

You shifted and faced him, Azriel’s hands falling from your shoulders. His shadows came and swirled around your back instead, the cool sensations relaxing you further. “Yes… I’ll go.” You said. “He also told me you had Feyre go to the Weaver’s Cottage to retrieve a ring? Please don’t tell me you plan on proposing to her with it.” 

Rhys only smirked in response. “How’s training? You’re using your Siphon properly? Don’t need two?” He asked. 

You shook your head. “As powerful as I am, one training Siphon is enough. I can’t imagine what it was like when you and Cass were trying to use them.” You said, turning to face Azriel. 

Azriel shrugged, putting on that cool mask he wore almost all the time. “Anyway, I’m doing fine. When do we go to Hewn City?” You asked. 

“Tomorrow… you’ll be there so I can introduce you as the emissary to the Illyrians. It may come in handy when we’re in battle with the Darkbringers.” Rhys said. 

You hummed and took a shaky breath. “I don’t have anything to wear.” You said. You remembered what they wore in Hewn City and you definitely didn’t have anything close to their fashion. You weren’t sure you even wanted to wear that. If you were being shown as an emissary, you would need to be dressed as one of his court, not a warrior like Az or Cassian. 

“Amren will find you something… it might be revealing.” He said, looking at you for a few moments. You simply shrugged, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“I can handle it.” You said and smiled. “You want me back at the House tonight, I assume?” You asked. 

“Only if you want to come.” He said and you nodded, looking at Azriel as he stood up and held out a scarred hand. You took it and stood up slowly. “This one here had me running all day…” you said and nudged Azriel’s shoulder. Your wings were even sore. He refused to let you use them in the course. 

Rhys chuckled and held out a hand for both of you, quickly winnowing you above the house. You all glided into the balcony and you grabbed Azriel’s bicep to steady yourself. 

Amren did find a dress for you to wear. Well… dress was a strong word for the fabric. It had a tight fitting bodice, only covering your breasts, abdomen, and your underside, thankfully covering your rear. Other than that, it was completely sheer black material, with swirling designs that complimented your shadows. Mor helped you curl your hair and put some kohl on your eyelids. You knew it wasn’t as much as most of Hewn City, but you would fit in well enough. You were representing Rhysand’s Court. And you would do as good of a job as you could. 

You were glad to see Feyre, and she actually pulled you in for a hug. She had filled in all of her curves, you could tell she was sleeping better. She told you about her trip to the Weaver’s Cottage. And that she went to the Bone Carver in the Prison. Az hadn’t mentioned that. 

“Training with Cassian going well?” You asked as you slipped on the heels Mor gave to you. Her outfit for the Court was much more revealing than yours, but you knew she was playing a certain part. You may not agree with it, but you knew Rhys had a plan. You knew Feyre was meant to play a part while they went to get the Orb to show to the Queens. You were glad Rhys didn’t ask you to join them in the Mortal Lands.

“He really doesn’t let up.” Feyre said and you laughed. 

“You should try training with Az… he’s even worse. But I’ve heard Mor is the worst.” You said and smiled, standing up. “You need anything in Hewn City today… you let me know.” You said and squeezed her shoulder. 

She nodded and gave you a small smile. You went down to the living room and waited for the boys to come down. Instead, you saw Azriel step out from the shadows, staring intently at you. You were very aware of the lack of clothes. It was much different than your leathers. 

You couldn’t help but shift under his gaze, watching as he slowly stalked over to you. “You look… perfect.” He said, stopping so close to you that you had to look up. 

“Perfect for Hewn City or just perfect?” You asked, eyes wide as you stared into his own. 

“Both.” He rasped. 

You weren’t sure you could stand next to him this entire night if he was staring at you like that the whole time. Luckily he would slip in between the shadows to grab the Orb while you stayed with Cassian. You were also to be there as another distraction, similar to Feyre, but to serve as another female in the court. With you, hopefully they wouldn’t notice Az.

“I have a mission for you,” Rhys chipped in. He most definitely was in your mind. 

“Yes?” You asked, turning towards your High Lord. 

“I’m introducing Feyre and you… but Feyre has a different kind of job. Your job tonight is to show you are one of my warriors as well… so if anyone gets out of line… I’m going to give you permission to test out your new Siphon on them.” He said. 

Your eyes widened slightly. “You- you want me to hurt someone?” You asked. 

“You will have to do it eventually…” Rhys said. 

“They’ll deserve it.” Azriel said and you glanced towards him. 

“So I get to be your guard dog? A lackey?” You asked. “No… Rhys no. I was Amarantha’s Shadowsinger for too long. I- I can’t take orders… not like that. Not to hurt someone.” You said and shook his head. He always gave you a choice. He wouldn’t make you do it if you didn’t want to. 

“You can’t seriously think that someone in the Court of Nightmares is as innocent as the ones you hurt under her.” Azriel spoke up. It struck something in you. What did he know of the people you hurt… killed for her? Did he understand that at some point, you enjoyed it? When you were slowly torturing Illyrians that turned their backs on the Night Court, on their own families? Like that one male had done to you? Did he know that Amarantha made you stand and watch as she killed hundreds of children in the Winter Court? That you were the one to help the daemati slip in between the shadows? He didn’t know any of it. He couldn’t possibly understand.

You turned towards him, narrowing your eyes. “I will not be someone’s lackey. I will not hurt someone under another’s orders.” 

“Rhys is your High Lord. You will have to do it eventually.” He said. “What happens when someone threatens him? Or Feyre? Will you just stand by?” 

“That’s different.” You growled out. How could he expect you to just.. follow Rhys blindly. What if he asked you to harm someone that you didn’t want to hurt. What if he thought they were guilty when they weren’t? You trusted Rhys with your life. And he’s never led you wrong before. But that doesn’t mean you’ll follow him to no end. 

“Is it?” 

“I don’t take orders to harm others anymore.” You said firmly. 

“Some Illyrian you’re going to be…” He growled. 

Your heart dropped, looking at him for a moment. “What’s your problem?” You asked, narrowing your eyes. It was like all the progress you made these past two months went out the window. 

“Ready?” Feyre called from the stairs. You all turned towards her. You could smell the arousal that came from Rhys and you shoved him to the side. 

“Let’s go.��� You ground out, watching as Mor and Cassian came down. The simmering rage that subsided these past few weeks was about to boil over. You took Mor’s hand, staying away from Azriel. Your skin was crawling at what he said. Some Illyrian… as if you can’t be a strong Illyrian and have your own principles. 

Mor glanced between the two of you and winnowed you to the Moonstone Palace atop Hewn City. 

Soon enough, you were waiting before the throne room with the rest of them. Rhys wanted to make a certain entrance. 

“Don’t be upset with him. Trips to Hewn City puts everyone on edge.” Rhys said in your mind. 

You glanced over to him and didn’t answer, but let the irritation show on your face. When he didn’t say anything, you shifted. “You’re my High Lord, I have to protect you.” You snapped back to him, still sensing him in your mind.  

“I’m your brother,” he said and you looked over to him. “By bond. Like Az and Cass are my brothers. You’re my sister. And you have no obligation to defend me if I don’t deserve it.” 

You looked at him for a few moments, frowning slightly. Flashes of Oran ran through your thoughts. He was your brother by bond… and he was dead. You couldn’t save him. What made you think you could save Rhysand, the most powerful High Lord you’ve ever heard of. But Rhys deserved you defending him. He’s given you a new life and you owed him everything. More than everything. 

“I’ll speak with you mind to mind if something happens. You tell me if you want to handle it or not.” He said, most likely seeing the same thing. You nodded to him as you watched the doors open. 

Once Rhys was seated with Feyre on his lap, Az disappeared to go get the Orb and you waited with Cassian. Your wings were stretched out as much as his, and your official Siphon was displayed on your left hand. It was a dark purple, your killing power swirling inside of it. Your shadows swirled around you, as if protecting you from the eyes of the people. You almost wished you were in ironclad armor like Cassian was. It would make you look a lot less like a side piece and more like the warrior Rhys wanted you to seem. Why did he have you dress like this when he also wanted you to be his warrior? You know it was for distraction, but you wondered if it would’ve caused too much uproar to have a female here in armor. 

You stood next to Rhys and Feyre once they got up. You heard what Keir said to Feyre: you’ll get what’s coming to you, whore. 

At that moment, Rhys asked you mind-to-mind to restrain Keir. You didn’t need another moment to think about it. Maybe it was Hewn City indeed putting you on edge. But you knew it was to protect Feyre. She was your friend. She saved you. And you wouldn’t let someone like Keir get away with calling her a whore. 

You put out your hand, your power swirling around him until he was on his knees. Your shadows did the rest and held his hands behind him. You might have instructed them to go just a little tighter than necessary. He wasn’t getting out but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t inflict a little pain. Did he not understand that Feyre was the one who saved all of you?

Rhys ordered Keir to apologize, and when he didn’t, he began breaking bones. You were happy to watch. Mor told you what he did to her. And insulting Feyre… you would’ve gladly broken his bones. But this was Rhys’s right. This was his mate he was defending. 

You saw Feyre sink closer to Azriel and Cassian while you kept Keir restrained. You let go, watching as he fell to the ground. 

You walked over to Az, Cass, and Mor. You took Mor’s hand, letting her winnow you and Cassian back to the House. 

You changed into your fighting leathers quickly, not wanting to stay in the dress much longer. You didn’t want to even think about Azriel coming to see you in your bedroom. In that dress. Especially after what he said to you. 

You needed to let off some steam, especially after seeing the Court of Nightmares. So much of it reminded you of Under the Mountain. It was much worse, but the memories it dragged up… you couldn’t just go to sleep. 

You ran a few laps around the ring, then started using the weights to do warm ups. As you worked, your thoughts drifted to your family in Valorworth, how your father used to beat you. How you were never good enough for him. You thought of Sirona and Igna, how you knew they would have protected Oran that final night when the fire roared through the camp. You eventually picked up a training sword, letting out all your thoughts into the wooden post. 

Your shadows told you that Azriel was in the stairwell before you heard his feet. The fact that you heard him made you aware that he wanted you to know he was there. “What?” You asked, striking the post with your training sword again. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

“I don’t know. Would a real Illyrian be okay after that?” You ground out, dropping your sword to the ground as you looked over to him. “Because I clearly am not. I guess you were right. I’m not a real Illyrian. I have emotions and principles and I won’t just blindly kill and hurt if it isn’t right.” You said, stalking over to him. “I won’t allow another high powered person to tell me to kill. To force me to tell them secrets. And I certainly won’t let anyone else let me feel smaller because of it.” You said, stopping not even a foot away from him. Your chests were almost touching. 

“Sounds like a real Illyrian to me.” He said and you pushed him back. His eyes widened and you clenched your fists. 

“I’m glad that you think so. Because I don’t care.” You did care. A lot. “Because your opinion means nothing to me.” It did. “Not when you insult me for standing up for myself.” That was true. 

“I-“

“No, you don’t get to talk. You don’t get to apologize. You doubted me.” You said, arms dropping to your sides. “You didn’t think that I would defend Rhys. Feyre. You- Do you have such little faith in me?” You asked. You failed your family before. You weren’t going to let it happen again. 

Azriel stayed silent, only walking over to you slowly. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I won’t justify what I said. I have some issues I clearly need to work out… but (Y/N)….” He tilted your head up. Tears were welling in your eyes. Why did his opinion mean so much to you? Why were you so frustrated? “You are the strongest female I know. And I have all the faith in the world in you. You’d go to any end to protect your family. To protect us…” he said, wiping away a stray tear. 

“I couldn’t protect them.” You whispered, your throat catching. 

“You did everything you could.” He replied, knowing exactly who you were talking about. You fell apart, a sob releasing as you cried into his chest. His arms wrapped around you, both of your shadows swirling to comfort you as well. He repeated himself, rubbing your back just under your wings as you cried. You couldn’t save your mother. You couldn’t save Sirona, Igna, or Oran. And the one person you thought would understand that doubted you today. If anything, you thought Azriel would understand that you didn’t want to keep doing the dirty work of a High Lord. Even if it was Rhys. 

Azriel promised himself to never doubt you again. He knew you would do whatever you could to keep them safe. Above all else, he knew that you would have more trouble forgiving yourself than you would anyone else. But Azriel would always be there to pick you back up, and put you back together.

A/N: Moving the story along...

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[xomakara]

Warrior of My Heart

SUMMARY |  You returned home after a successful journey with your knight Jaehyun. Your brother, the king, wants you to start marrying and you knew there was one person that you wanted. PAIRINGS | Jaehyun/Fem!Reader GENRE |  non-idol au, knight!jaehyun, fantasy au, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, fluff towards the end RATING |  Mature LENGTH |  6,412 words AUTHOR’S NOTE |  I was originally writing this with a whole story in mind with like an assassination attempt or a battle or something. But apparently it didn't turn out that way lolol. I don't even know if this has a storyline haha. Anyhow, I hope it's still okay!

You sat atop your horse, holding your sword in hand and looked at the road ahead that led to the capital city and the place you called home. Neo City was a bustling city filled with wonder and hope. You looked at Jaehyun, your bodyguard and the knight-commander of the White Lotus Order, and gave him a happy smile.

"Home, sweet home." You exclaimed. "The journey has been a long one for us. I'm ready to sleep for the next month."

"Indeed, Princess." Jaehyun smiled at you. "I'm sure the knights are long over due for rest."

Jaehyun let out a chuckle and then started to lead your horse towards the city gates, taking off his helm and placing it on your horse's saddle.

"So what shall we do once we get there?" He asked you, making you blush lightly. You were so used to going to bed alone now, that being in a relationship seemed almost impossible for you to handle. Your eyes traveled up and down his body and all you could think about is how much you wanted to feel his body pressed against yours. It had been too long since you last felt his touch on your skin and seeing him here, made you wonder if he ever thought about you as well. If he had moved on. You quickly shook those thoughts away and stood up straight, your armor settling around your frame as you tighten your grip on your sword.

"There is something I have always wanted to do but never had the time for." You said quietly. "When we get to the palace I will need you to help me."

"Of course Princess." Jaehyun answered, bowing before giving you a respectful nod. "Anything you ask."

You walked through the gates of the city in awe. Neo City was a thriving place with a large economy and political influence within the nation. The streets were lined with people running from all directions and you got lost in their jumble. Once they finally cleared you found yourself standing outside the main gates of the palace where your brother, King Taeyong, resided. Your jaw dropped at the sight of the majestic building and stepped forward towards it.

Once you stepped through the gate, the city grew silent as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. You smiled at the people around you and headed straight towards the palace. The guards opened the doors to the main hall and allowed you to pass without question. All the servants and the cooks stopped what they were doing and bowed to you. You smiled politely and then proceeded to head towards the throne room, passing by all the chambers until you reached your destination. As you entered the room you immediately noticed Taeyong sitting upon the throne, drinking a cup of tea while reading some reports. When he saw you enter, he set down the documents and gave you a bright smile.

"My sister! You're back!" He greeted, rising from his seat. "Come give your brother a hug."

You rushed into his arms and he embraced you tightly, lifting you off the ground in his embrace. His strong arms wrapped around your waist as you hugged him tight, not wanting to let go of him. After several moments of just hugging each other, you let go of him, still keeping a firm grasp on his shirt as you looked into his face.

"How was your journey?" He asked you curiously, giving you a puzzled look. "Did you finally find a lover? Or broke some hearts along your travels?"

You laughed lightly at his question and ran your fingers through your hair.

"Maybe." You replied with a smirk. "But I am tired and want to get some sleep. How is mother?"

"She's fine." He answered. "You know her love is pure. She never leaves my side even when she's at work. But if you really must know, I heard she wasn't feeling well earlier today. That's why we didn't see you coming back."

He chuckled as you let out an annoyed sigh.

"Oh… Well I should probably check on her then." You told him with a small laugh.

"By all means my dear sister." Taeyong told you kindly, bowing to you before getting up from his chair and heading towards the door. "You go check on Mother and I'll call you when lunch is ready."

With a nod, you went to leave the room but stopped halfway to hear Taeyong tell you to come closer. You leaned in close to his ear, hearing the sound of the papers under his desk shifting as he leaned in as well.

"If you ever do end up having sex, don't forget to use protection." He whispered, chuckling at your look of confusion. "I know I'm only your older brother and that you probably think of me as an idiot most of the time, but I don't like to see my little sister get hurt."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why would I be having sex?" You asked innocently, causing him to burst out laughing.

"Well…" He managed to say between laughs. "You are my little sister after all and… We are royalty. Who knows who might want to take advantage of your status?"

You gave him a light shove to stop his laughter and looked away. He's right, though. Being royalty, there was bound to be someone that would try and exploit your position and power for their own gain. In fact, one such person tried just that just two years ago. Thankfully you managed to stop them in time but it was also because of your efforts that the man ended up losing his life and eventually became the reason you decided to become the leader of the White Lotus order. But thinking about that story put a dark shadow on your mind and you turned your attention back to your brother.

"Taeyong." You whispered softly. "Do you think I'll ever get married and have children?"

He gave you a thoughtful look before answering. "I don't know, sis. It depends on the person you end up with and whether or not you both feel comfortable with the idea of marriage."

He sighed and then placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"I just hope you'll be happy." He told you gently. "And I wish you'd hurry up and find a lover so you can stop moping around."

You gave him a playful punch to the shoulder and stepped back.

"A lover huh? Who do you suggest I should choose?" You asked, looking him dead in the eye. "One of our knights?"

"Hey!" Taeyong laughed at your suggestion. "Don't tempt me! They might not seem very nice at first glance but deep down they are loyal and honorable men."

You rolled your eyes and shrugged.

"Whatever you say, my king brother." You told him with a smile. "Besides, I doubt any of them are single. I bet they are all happily dating someone right now."

Taeyong shrugged and smiled fondly at you.

"I guess that is true. But don't worry, there are plenty more handsome young men that would gladly accept you into their lives."

You giggled at his comment and then grabbed his arm, tugging him toward the exit of the room.

"C'mon. Let's go see Mother." You urged him, stepping past him and heading out of the main hall.

"Yes, yes." He agreed, following behind you with a small grin on his face. "Let's go see Mother."

It was 3 days later and the entire kingdom was celebrating your arrival back to the palace. There were decorations lining the halls and dozens of servants hurried about to prepare for the celebration. Your brother was busy trying to make plans to invite all the nobles and members of the government to attend the grand feast that was planned to be held tomorrow. Everyone in the castle seemed cheerful and eager to celebrate the reunion of the royal family and you couldn't help but smile brightly at the sound of their voices.

In the courtyard, hundreds of servants worked diligently preparing the meals and preparing them for delivery to different parts of the palace. Inside the gardens, knights were gathered near the edge of the lake cleaning and repairing their weapons. Looking around, you spotted young ladies wearing colorful dresses waiting in line to speak to Jaehyun, the Knight-Commander, hoping to catch his eye.

Your brother stopped talking to a couple of soldiers near the gate and looked around, spotting you nearby. He raised an eyebrow at you and pointed at you, motioning for you to join him.

Walking up to him, you tilted your head at him curiously and waited for him to continue.

"We're inviting the Knights to participate in the feast as well." He told you. "I figure we should show them our appreciation for helping save Neo City while you and the White Lotus Order were out on your journey."

You nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." You replied with a slight nod. "I bet they would enjoy attending the feast as well."

"And maybeeeee, we'll find you a husband." Taeyong let out a laugh. "If that happens, I promise I won't tease you anymore."

He sighed as you let out a giggle and turned around to head back inside the palace.

As you passed by the garden, you noticed that many women were beginning to approach the knight commander and talk to him. Their smiles were wide and their eyes filled with excitement. Some women wore beautifully embroidered clothing and others were dressed in simple dresses, yet no matter what they wore, their beauty shone through their attire.

And just watching them talk excitedly with him made you feel a little jealous.

You've slept together multiple times during your journey. The times where you were lonely, the occasional drunk nights, or even that one time where you suffered a shoulder injury from an arrow and you had a fever.

You thought that there was something developing between you two. Or was it all one-sided on your end? And now that you were back in Neo City, Jaehyun didn't even bother showing any interest in you…

No, this isn't fair. You shook your head and frowned, feeling a bit depressed as you began walking again. Just then, you felt a hand grabbing your arm and stopping you in your tracks.

"So, the Princess General and the Knight-Commander, huh?" Taeyong muttered as he caught up with you. "Who would have thought?"

Looking at him, you could see he was clearly concerned about your current mood.

"What do you mean?" You asked with a frown.

"When you stopped I was going to ask you if everything was alright but now I wonder." He answered with a chuckle. "Are you alright, my dear sister?"

Your frown intensified and you shook your head slowly, trying to calm down your growing anger.

"He doesn't even care about me, does he?" You asked Taeyong angrily. "Not after we spent two whole years traveling around together, constantly risking our lives for each other, yet as soon as we arrived back home, it's as if nothing happened between us."

You paused and let out a frustrated sigh.

"It feels like he barely acknowledges me anymore and I'm starting to get really mad about it." You explained in a quiet voice. "It's not fair. He always used to make me laugh and joke around but now all he does is ignore me. It makes me even more mad since he's my bodyguard and the knight-commander."

"I see." Taeyong murmured, glancing over at the young women approaching Jaehyun. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hit him in the face, just so you can prove to yourself that he does care about you."

Your eyes widened and you started laughing bitterly.

"Oh yeah, punching him will definitely solve all my problems." You said sarcastically. "Do you really believe that hitting him would somehow magically fix things between us?"

"Well, you said it yourself. He doesn't care about you. So maybe if you show him that you don't care either, he'll finally notice how much he missed you." Taeyong said quietly.

"How can you be so optimistic?" You asked, rolling your eyes. "Aren't you worried that I'll just break his nose or something instead?"

He chuckled and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"My lovely sister, I assure you that there's nothing wrong with hitting him. If anything, it will only bring you closer together." He said with a soft smile. "Now, come. Let's get dinner ready."

At his words, you looked down at the ground and gave him a reluctant nod. He's right. You sighed and followed him into the palace, feeling your temper slowly dying down with every step. At least he seems to be right, after all.

The next day, everyone in the city celebrated your return and preparations were underway for the banquet being prepared in your honor. By early afternoon, the entire city was covered in clouds of dust as numerous carts were being pulled through the streets carrying food and drink items for the upcoming feast.

In front of the palace, a large tent had been set up and several caterers were already busy setting the tables and arranging the dishes. As you walked into the courtyard, several of the young girls you saw yesterday were standing near the entrance, waiting for a chance to speak to Jaehyun.

Most of them were dressed in pretty clothes adorned with sparkling jewels. They all seemed nervous and kept staring at the tent entrance nervously. You took a seat near the table and watched them wait for a few minutes before Taeyong joined you and stood beside you.

"All these beautiful ladies are competing to win the heart of our noble Knight Commander." He informed you with a proud smile. "And according to rumors, they are all vying for his attention."

"It seems so." You nodded, grinning as you watched the women walk by, one after another. "They're really trying hard."

A servant approached you with a tray full of drinks and handed you a glass of water. You thanked her and then watched as the girls continued to approach Jaehyun. They tried to talk to him politely and tried to make him laugh with silly jokes, but as soon as he didn't respond, most of them quickly retreated, disappointed.

"I swear, he has the best poker face in the world." You remarked with a laugh, sipping at your water. "All these girls came here believing that he'll instantly fall for them and he never breaks character. How he keeps doing it amazes me."

After watching them for a few more moments, you heard footsteps coming your way and turned to see the Knight Commander approaching.

Jaehyun's eyes scanned over the crowd and eventually rested on you. He gave his greetings to Taeyong before coming to face you.

"There you are, Princess." He greeted, smiling at you. "I was looking for you."

A warm smile lit up your face and you couldn't help but nod as he spoke.

"Oh really?" You asked. "I wasn't planning on spending the entire afternoon watching these girls trying to get your attention though."

Jaehyun chuckled softly as he glanced over the girls who still lingered around him, searching for his approval.

"Don't worry about them." He reassured you. "They will leave once they realize I'm not interested."

“Really now?” You chuckled as well and turned away, resting your chin in your palm. “Who wouldn’t want the attention of the Knight-Commander?”

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” Jaehyun teasingly asked.

“Why would I be jealous? It’s not like you have feelings for me.” You muttered.

"Oh? Didn't the princess forget that I like her?" Jaehyun sounded surprised when you glanced back at him and his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Did you forget those restless nights by the fire? Those nights where our limbs were tangled together?"

His gaze softened and you blushed lightly as his fingers reached up to gently stroke your cheek. His touch sent tingles across your skin and your stomach fluttered with excitement.

"I didn't forget." You whispered softly, unable to stop your lips from curving upward into a tiny smile.

You suddenly realized that Jaehyun's smile had changed as well and his eyes were shining as he stared down at you. It made your cheeks grow warm and your heart begin to beat faster.

"I was just wondering…" You hesitated slightly, biting your lower lip as you looked at him. "Do you remember that night by the fire when you helped me take care of my shoulder wound? When you wrapped your arms around me and stayed with me until morning?"

Jaehyun blinked and a wide grin spread across his face as he glanced down at you.

"Princess, I remember everything about that night." He breathed huskily, reaching out to caress your cheek with the tips of his fingers. "But I didn't think that you remembered it either."

You smiled at him shyly as he leaned forward, his mouth just inches from yours. Your breath caught in your throat as he brushed his lips against yours, sending shivers down your spine.

Then he pressed his forehead against yours and whispered in your ear.

"I've never forgotten about that night either, Princess."

You bit your bottom lip as his words slowly sank in. A dull ache was slowly building within you as your heart raced. With a shaky breath, you closed your eyes and nodded slightly.

"You know, this reminds me of that day we found ourselves trapped in the dungeons together." You admitted quietly, bringing your free hand up to cover his. "We were surrounded by darkness and death. There was only one light and that was you."

"That's when I knew that I'd spend the rest of my life protecting you." He whispered in your ear.

"I'd hate to ruin your love fest, sister," a voice called out next to you. You looked at Taeyong, a smirk on his face. "But did you and the knight-commander forget that we are in public?"

With a groan, Jaehyun stepped back and placed a hand on your shoulders. He glanced over your shoulder and you could see the rest of the girls still lingering around, talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Yeah, sorry." He mumbled sheepishly. "I guess I got carried away."

He bowed to Taeyong and the servant, leaving you alone with your older brother. Taeyong eyed you suspiciously, a mischievous grin on his face.

"So?" He asked slyly. "Do I hear wedding bells?"

"Taeyong!" You gasped, narrowing your eyes at him.

He laughed and reached out to ruffle your hair playfully.

"Sis, I know you love Jaehyun." He said seriously. "You two belong together. He's practically shown that he loves you in front of all the nobles and servants."

You opened your mouth to protest, but Taeyong raised a finger and silenced you with a look.

"Just think about it, okay?" He told you with a wink. "If he asked you to marry him tomorrow, would you say yes?"

You paused and thought about what Taeyong said. What would you do if Jaehyun asked you to marry him tomorrow? Would you accept his proposal? The answer was clear: Of course you would!

As you thought about your future husband, a soft sigh escaped your lips and your eyes slowly closed. You rested your head on your hand as Taeyong and Jaehyun started chatting casually while taking their seats.

After some time passed, you noticed that the young women you saw earlier were gone. You sighed softly and leaned back in your chair, relaxing slightly.

Despite all the festivities, your mind kept wandering back to your relationship with Jaehyun.

You loved him. More than anything else in the world, you loved him. And deep down inside, you were sure that he felt the same way about you. After all, they were soul mates. Two halves of the same whole. And you were confident that he was the only person you would ever want to share your life with.

Everything seemed perfect.

Why should you even bother to try and find someone else? It was almost as if fate was telling you that you were meant to be together forever.

As you watched the people dancing in the ballroom below, you smiled as you thought about the first time you met Jaehyun.

It was an exciting day, filled with uncertainty and joy. But no matter what happened, no matter how the day ended, you always believed that everything would turn out alright.

Yes, today is going to be a good day. And every day after that. Because your life is already complete.

Even if he won't admit it, Jaehyun loves you. And you love him.

You always knew that one day you'd have to choose between love and duty, but now… Now, it's too late to make such a choice. You can't separate your heart from your duty any longer. Not anymore.

With a small smile, you turned away from the window and faced the palace wall.

"Jaehyun." You whispered softly, letting your lips curl upwards into a small smile. "Tonight… Tonight, I'm finally going to tell you how I feel."

"Princess Y/N?"

Your name sounded out from behind you and you slowly turned around to see Jaehyun giving you a soft smile.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice laced with concern. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." You assured him, walking over to him and giving him a small hug.

"Good." He nodded with a smile. "That's good to hear."

After a few moments of silence you pulled away from him and smiled at him.

"I want to thank you for being here for me, Jaehyun." You told him, reaching up and brushing a strand of hair from his face. "It means a lot to me."

"No problem." He told you with a nod. "You've always been there for me whenever I needed someone. It's only fair that I return the favor."

You smiled softly at him.

"I'm glad you're here, Jaehyun." You said softly. "This is… Kind of lonely being alone again."

"You don't have to be alone." He said with a comforting smile. "You've got me here with you."

His words made you relax and your eyes trailed down to his lips. You remembered how amazing it felt when he kissed you and how perfect he tasted. You missed kissing him. Not only did you miss kissing him but you also missed cuddling up to him. Before you knew it, your lips were on his and your arms wound around his neck. A gasp left your mouth as you leaned in, letting your lips part slightly as you opened your mouth for him. With a moan you slid your tongue across his bottom lip and met his tongue with your own. Slowly you started to pull away from him, kissing his jawline and down his neck, enjoying the sweet scent of his sweat mixed with his natural smell.

"Princess…" He breathed heavily, pulling you into another long kiss.

"Come." You grabbed his hand and led him to your bed chamber. Once inside you shut the door behind you and pressed your back against it.

"Do you remember the night you saved me?" You asked, tracing the shape of his mouth with your finger. "The night of that bandit attack where I almost lost my life?"

Jaehyun's hands came up to cup your cheeks and he stared at you with a heated expression.

"I'll never forget it." He promised you with a growl. "I'll never forget the way you screamed my name and the way you fought off those bandits. You were such a brave girl and I was proud of you."

"Some Princess General I was, getting caught by bandits." You let out a small laugh. "But then here comes the Knight-Commander coming in to save me."

"Nothing you could've done, Princess." He retorted playfully. "Those guys wouldn't have stopped attacking you if it wasn't for me. Besides, I think they appreciated me showing them how a real man saves a damsel in distress."

You let out a quiet chuckle at his comment and traced the line of his collarbone with your fingertip.

"What if I told you I want to repay you?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "That I want to repay you for saving my life."

Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to your words. His eyes searched yours as you held his gaze intently. For a moment, he couldn't move or speak. All he could do was stare at you in awe. He wanted nothing more than to keep kissing you but something seemed to be holding him back. Finally, he gathered himself together enough to reply.

"Princess…" He breathed out hoarsely. "I would be honored if you wanted to repay me for what I did that night."

Before you had a chance to react, Jaehyun lifted you up onto the bed and lowered himself down to lie next to you. Your body melted into his and he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you tightly and drawing you into his embrace. His lips pressed against your forehead and your hands tangled in his hair as you nuzzled into his chest. His skin was smooth and warm to the touch and it reminded you of the way it felt against your body. The thought made you shiver and your stomach clenched tightly as you held yourself tighter against him. You wanted to stay this way forever . To never let go of him. To never stop being held by him.

Your hands moved down to his waist and unbuttoned his tunic. He sighed deeply and ran his hands up and down your arms as you continued to undo the buttons. As soon as all the buttons were undone, you slid your hands underneath his shirt, resting your palms against his warm bare skin. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel and for a moment you wondered if this would actually happen. Would he actually let you repay him?

With a growl, Jaehyun sat up and pulled you into his lap, placing a firm kiss on your lips before pulling away and staring at you with intense passion filled eyes. His hands came up to cup your cheeks and then slowly slid down your neck until they reached your shoulders.

He began to caress your shoulders with featherlight touches and his lips returned to yours.

As his kisses grew deeper and his touch rougher, you closed your eyes and laid your head against his chest, enjoying the feeling of his strong heartbeat beneath your palm. This was your favorite place in the entire world. Your safe haven. Your refuge. Whenever you were troubled, whenever you felt pain or anger or sadness; whenever you just needed some time to think; this was where you went. It was always a sanctuary for you. Where you were free to express yourself without worrying about being judged or chastised. No matter what you were going through, no matter what you were trying to hide from everyone else, you knew that you could always come here and just relax and be at peace. Now, lying here in Jaehyun's arms, you finally understood why he was willing to go through whatever hell existed for you.

Why was he ready to risk his life to save yours? Because you were precious to him and he couldn't imagine a world without you in it.

When his lips touched your ear lobe, your heart began to race and you bit your lower lip, trembling as your hands traveled up and down his back, lightly kneading the muscles in his arms. When his hands dropped to your waist, you tightened your grip around his neck and moaned softly as his fingers brushed against the sides of your breasts.

Suddenly, you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, noticing how much they had darkened with desire. You smiled softly and gently traced the line of his jaw with your fingertips. His eyes widened as you leaned forward and gently took his lips in a tender kiss.

Just like before, his lips parted for you and he eagerly accepted your tongue, opening his mouth wider as you swept your tongue across his teeth and against his lips. The electricity running between the two of you had increased tenfold since last time and it sent ripples of pleasure throughout your entire body. You didn't realize how much you missed him until he was in front of you again. How much you missed this. How much you missed his presence.

Slowly you broke apart from the kiss and ran your hands down his chest, feeling his heartbeat accelerate as your fingers stroked the ridges of his abs.

His arms wrapped around you once again and his fingers skimmed across your hips, causing you to moan loudly. The tension in the air became thick and heavy and neither of you could breathe properly as the feelings coursing through your bodies intensified and every touch felt even more erotic than the last. His lips touched the skin of your cheek and down your neck, sending waves of shivers down your spine and goosebumps popping up all over your body. Your breaths became shorter and quicker and your heart began to pound harder as you clutched at his shirt desperately, wanting more of his touch.

In one swift movement, Jaehyun pulled away from you and unbuckled his belt, tossing it aside. Then, with a seductive smirk he pushed his pants down, revealing his cock which had hardened considerably since the last time you saw it. You licked your lips as your eyes roamed over his naked body, memorizing every inch of him. In your mind, you already knew exactly how his body felt against yours. Just thinking about it caused your nipples to become erect and you squirmed under his gaze, unconsciously wanting him to continue exploring your body with his mouth. Suddenly, his lips found their way to your nipples and he took one in his mouth while the other lay nestled in his palm. The vibrations from his mouth and the warmth from his hand were too much and you arched your back as the sensations built within you. You held on to his head and whimpered quietly, begging for more.

"Oh God…" You moaned softly as he drew circles around your nipple with his tongue. "Please, please…"

"Say it." He whispered roughly, moving his hand to rub against your clit.

"Fuck me, Jaehyun." You begged him, gripping his shoulders tightly. "Please, fuck me!"

With a groan, he turned his attention to your clit and used his thumb to massage it. You closed your eyes and gasped, moaning louder and louder as your legs buckled and your nails dug into his shoulder blades.

He rubbed his thumb in slow circular motions and you thrashed your head back and forth in an attempt to find relief. He sucked one of your nipples into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue before switching to the other one and doing the same thing.

As he suckled your nipples and teased your clit with his thumb, he continued to stroke your pussy, making sure that every sensation you experienced was amplified and intense. Soon, your body began to shake and you started to scream incoherently as a violent orgasm tore through you. You squeezed your eyes shut and screamed out loud as the sensations rushed through you. It felt like your entire body was on fire and there was no escape. You screamed so loudly that your throat began to hurt and your body began to cramp up. Finally, after several minutes, you fell limp in Jaehyun's arms, unable to stand any longer.

As your breathing slowed down, Jaehyun kissed your temple and pressed a soft kiss against your neck. After catching his breath, he removed his thumb from your pussy and gave you a wicked grin.

"Not quite yet." He whispered, pushing you back onto the bed and crawling up next to you.

With one hand still rubbing your clit, he lowered his head and buried his face between your thighs. You closed your eyes and moaned softly as he began licking up and down your slit. You spread your legs as wide as possible, eager for his tongue to get closer to your most sensitive area. He opened his mouth wider and took your clit into his mouth and gently began sucking on it, making you shudder uncontrollably.

His hands massaged your inner thighs and as his tongue continued to explore your pussy, his fingers began to gently run along the length of your labia, spreading your juices all over your swollen clit. You jerked slightly as his fingers slid over your sensitive spot and his tongue kept up its relentless assault on your clit. Your head fell back as he increased the pressure on your clit and he continued to lick and suck on it as your hands fisted the sheets and your body trembled violently. You cried out loudly as another powerful orgasm rocked through you and you bit down hard on your bottom lip to stifle your cries of pleasure.

Finally, your breathing returned to normal and Jaehyun slowly rose up and glanced at you. His eyes were burning brightly and you could tell that he was absolutely overcome with lust. Without saying anything, he climbed on top of you and pressed his hard cock against your entrance. Before you could say anything, he thrust deep inside you and the shockwave of pleasure that ran through you made you gasp loudly.

The way he held you tightly as he pounded into you sent shivers through your entire body and you couldn't help but grab his ass and pull him closer to you. His hot breath washed over your face and his teeth nibbled at your neck as his fingers gripped your hips tightly.

It felt amazing to have him inside you again and you could already tell that he was giving it everything he had. There was nothing soft or gentle about the way he moved, grinding his hips against yours with each thrust, slamming into you with such force that it almost hurt.

Each thrust seemed to strengthen your feelings for him and it scared you slightly because they felt more passionate than ever. As his fingers rubbed against your g-spot, you felt your orgasm building up quickly and you bit your lip as your vision clouded and blurred and your heart raced wildly.

You let out a small scream as you lost control completely and threw your head back as a powerful orgasm ripped through you. The orgasm itself was short lived but the aftershocks were even stronger than before. The intensity of the emotions coursing through your body overwhelmed you and you collapsed into Jaehyun's arms, crying silently as he continued to move inside you. Every movement of his hips felt incredible and when he grabbed your hair and kissed your neck, your heart nearly stopped beating. Everything about this moment was perfect.

When your orgasms subsided, you managed to catch your breath and open your eyes, only to see Jaehyun smiling back at you with a look of pure satisfaction on his face. He stared deeply into your eyes and cupped your face with his hands, bringing his lips closer to yours. Slowly, he brought his lips towards yours and you felt your heart skip a beat as his soft lips touched yours and his tongue entered your mouth. As you wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your fingers through his silky hair, you realized that you never wanted this night to end. You never wanted this relationship to end.

"I love you." You whispered against his lips.

"I love you too." He replied simply, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours again.

Slowly, you laid your head on his chest and listened to his heart racing. It was incredibly calming and you breathed in his scent, relishing in the fact that you were here, with him, right now. All was right in your world and you were thankful for the moments like these. Moments like this when you get to feel loved by someone who actually meant something to you.

He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and sighed.

"I need to ask you something." He asked, brushing your hair away from your face.

"Okay?" You replied, looking up at him.

"Will you marry me?"

Your eyes widened and your heart leaped into your throat. You nodded slightly and smiled softly as tears welled up in your eyes.

"Yes." You whispered, squeezing his hands.

He grinned widely and grabbed your face with both of his hands, kissing you passionately. When he finally pulled away, he was beaming at you with pride and happiness. You ran your hands down his chest and stomach and then moved them up his back, lightly tracing your fingernails against his smooth skin. He closed his eyes and savored in your touch.

"Do you know what I'm going to do when we're married?" You asked playfully, tilting your head to the side.

"What?" He asked curiously.

"I want to have a baby with you." You giggled.

He pulled you close and planted a soft kiss on your lips.

"Well, if you want kids… I think I can give you one." He chuckled, tightening his grip on your waist.

"How many?" You giggled.

"Five? Ten?"

"A hundred?!" You laughed, making him laugh as well.

"We'll see how many come after the first one." He smirked.

As your laughter died down, you tightened your embrace and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He stroked your hair lovingly and rested his chin on top of your head.

"I love you." You whispered softly.

"I love you too." He whispered back.

Neither of you spoke anymore. The moment had been perfect and neither of you wanted it to end. Instead, you fell asleep in each other's arms, basking in the feeling of being loved and knowing that this was where you belonged.

[writercole]

On Second Thought...

Summary: Dr. Jake Seresin meets his match. Pairing: Jake Seresin x Vikander!Reader (Omaha's sister) Words: 1901 Warnings: Dr. Jake Seresin, flirting, innuendo, Dr. Javy Machado, Sass, probably some swearing, medical discussions regarding neurological symptoms. Credits: I don't know anymore I know @ryebecca helped with the title and gave her squeak of approval on the graphic. A/N: I literally found this on my thumb drive and...well...it's been a long week. Have a treat.

Dr. Jacob Seresin, doctor of neurology, Jake to his friends, sighed heavily when he checked his cell phone. He trudged through the parking garage, exhaustion weighing him down after a twelve hour shift where there had been an influx of patients but an absence of nurses or doctors to be found.

The absence of any text messages or missed calls from his ex girlfriend drove him further into a bad mood. Jake had returned home from a long shift, much like the one he had just ended, to find that she had packed all of her things and gone, leaving only a lingering trace of perfume that dissipated after a week.

That had been nearly four months ago.

He had taken time out of almost every day for the first two months to send her a message, whether good morning, good night, or to hope her day was going well, but there had been radio silence, nothing coming back through the phone, though the messages marked as read.

Truthfully, her abrupt departure from his life had barely rattled him. He could still function; his job never took a hit and his patients never noticed a thing. Even the ones who had been with him since he opened his practice. And the nurses had more interesting things to talk about than his vanilla, ethical love life. 

Jake still felt the sting of loneliness, though, a sting that spread through his veins as he cared for patients with loved ones beside their bed. He may not have loved Gretchen, but he missed the companionship and the emotional connection that came with having someone waiting at home. It was something that surprised him, the need for feelings involved in his relationships.

Jake wasn’t surprised when he saw a message from an old med school buddy, Javy Machado. They’d taken residencies at separate hospitals in the same city and still hung out when their off days coincided. The reason for the message, however, was strange.

> Yo, Seresin. I got a tough case here. Need an outsider to come check this out. Tomorrow. I start my rounds at 6 AM.

Jake replied back that he’d be there and asked for any details that he could get before they met up at the hospital. The more he knew going in, the better. It was easier to rule things out that way. 

At 0530 hours, Jake walked into UMCSD and headed for the cardiac wing. He noticed a distinctly different atmosphere as he walked through the halls. There was a peacefulness under the beeping and bustling that SDGMC didn’t have. 

He rounded the corner and scanned the area, not seeing the tall man that had called him here. A short woman was standing at the counter scribbling on a chart and he walked over in the hope that he could get directions to Machado’s office.

“Excuse me, nurse,” he said. She didn’t respond but her posture stiffened slightly. “Nurse?” he called again, getting no response again. He reached up and tapped her on the shoulder as he tried one more time. “Nurse, I’m looking for Dr. Machado.”

She whipped around, her hair slapping him in the arm, and put her hands on her hips. “You aren’t from here, are you?” 

“Uh, no. I just need -”

“Well, how about you actually find the nurse you were looking for instead of asking a doctor who is charting a consult where to find your…lover,” she spat as she eyed Jake up and down. 

“That’s not…no,” Jake shook his head. “I was called in to consult on a patient. I’m Dr. Seresin from General.”

Her eyes narrowed as she stood there, crossing her arms over her chest. “And Dr. Machado called you in? Are you sure?”

“Jake! You’re early!” they heard called across the wing. Neither of them broke eye contact as Javy walked up to them, clapping Jake on the shoulder. “Oh, good, you’ve met Dr. Vikander.”

“Coyote, what the hell did you call him for?” Dr. Vikander hissed as she diverted her fury to her colleague.

“Well, I thought an extra set of eyes on the case would be helpful,” Javy shrugged. “This is Jake Seresin, an old buddy from med school and the best neurologist on the SDGMC campus.”

“I’m the best neurologist in town, Machado,” Jake corrected.

“No, you’re definitely not,” she scoffed.

“Oh, I’m good, sweetheart. I’m very good,” he smirked, “I’ll be happy to show you.”

“I have to see this. Coyote, lead the way to the patient,” she bit back. 

“Not exactly how I was thinking of demonstrating but if you want an audience, sweetheart, I’m fine with that. I know Javy likes to watch." The look on Dr. Vikander’s face delighted Jake. Getting under people’s skin - especially women - happened to be a favorite pastime of his.

"Dude, that was one time and no patients were involved," Javy corrected. "Can we please go see my patient now?"

Dr. Machado led them into the room and introduced them to the patient, giving a brief overview of his symptoms. "Presented with sudden inability to stand and fainting. He's a patient of mine, single bypass. Cardiac workup is clean."

"Did you feel dizzy or lightheaded before you fainted?" She looked at the digital chart on the tablet, pulling up the bloodwork and cardiac workup that Dr. Machado spoke of.

“Not really,” the patient responded.

“Any headaches?”

“I’ve been having headaches almost daily for years. It wasn’t any different than normal.” The patient shrugged and yawned before continuing. “No allergies either.”

“What about fever, nausea, vomiting?” Jake questioned, looking over her shoulder and ignoring the glare she gave him.

“Nope, nothing like that.”

“You didn’t have the flu recently?”

“Yeah, like two weeks ago but it was a normal flu. My doctor tested me and everything.”

“How about vision loss, double vision, being extra tired, numbness?” Dr. Vikander continued.

“Some numbness. Definitely extra tired. Occasional double vision.” The patient’s voice had quieted, almost as if he were recognizing the seriousness of the condition, the extent of the things he’d been experiencing becoming symptoms.

“Any pain or swelling?”

“Yes, but I just thought it was from the weather changing. You know how it gets when you’ve worked jobs that are hard on your joints and stuff.”

“We’re going to need a few more tests,” Dr. Vikander told him gently. “I’m hoping that we can get this figured out quickly and get you home to your family.”

“Thank you, doctors.”

The three physicians stepped out of the room, the two neurologists following behind Dr. Machado all the way to his office in silence.

“Well, what are we looking at?” Javy asked as he leaned on the edge of his desk.

“Meningitis,” Jake announced with confidence at the same time that she said “multiple sclerosis.”

“Well, those are both easy treatments but they’re vastly different treatments.”

“You can’t possibly be thinking meningitis,” she scoffed. 

“There’s no way that could be MS,” Jake retorted.

“Meningitis doesn’t cause vision problems.” 

“And MS doesn’t cause headaches.”

“He said he’s had those headaches for longer than the other symptoms.”

“Guys,” Javy called. He wasn’t surprised when the two doctors ignored him, facing off against one another for their diagnoses.

“Well, a spinal tap will confirm my suspicions and prove who the better doctor is,” Dr. Vikander stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

“And an MRI and blood culture will confirm mine.” Jake slipped his hands into the pockets of his scrubs, confidence oozing off of him.

“Well that MRI will also show indications of MS.”

“And your spinal tap will show meningitis.”

“At least the two of you agree on the tests that need to be done,” Javy mumbled under his breath, prepping the orders for the patient to have a spinal tap and MRI as well as blood cultures as soon as possible. After the requests were in, he sat back, watching his two friends argue their sides to one another.

He sighed as he watched. The whole point of having her and Jake consult on this patient was to show Jake that UMCSD fit him better. The toxic relationships from SDGMC were non-existent, the doctors worked together better, and while the funding was lower, they helped the patients who needed it the most. And Javy knew that’s what Jake got into medicine for.

“And another thing,” she shouted.

“Enough!” Javy exclaimed as he stood. “I need you guys to work together on this case. It’s not a competition. I’m in over my head and I need as many ideas as I can get. I trust the both of you can do that.”

“Yeah,” Jake mumbled while his shoulders sagged.

“I will try. For you, Machado. But don’t get your hopes up on a diagnosis from this guy,” she said. “Man thought I was a nurse when he got here.”

“You were at the nurse’s station. What else was I supposed to think?”

“I was charting. I’m in a lab coat. I don’t know where you’re from, but around here, lab coats and open charts indicate doctor not nurse.”

“Seriously, if I can’t get you two to work together, I will call another neurologist. And the only one who isn’t retired that I can actually tolerate is Cain. And you know what he’s going to say if I have to call him,” Javy explained.

“Sorry,” the other two doctors muttered. Their heads hung forward and their shoulders curled in, both avoiding eye contact with the cardiologist.

“Thank you. Now, if you will excuse me. I have more rounds to make.” 

The three doctors stepped outside of the office, the two neurologists watching Javy walk away.

“Can I buy you a coffee? As an apology?” Jake offered.

Dr. Vikander eyed him suspiciously and nodded, gesturing for him to follow her. They walked in silence through the hallways, twisting and turning their way towards the little coffee shop that was nestled near the front lobby. “How long have you known Javy?”

“Since our first year as med students. He came in from Tulane, I came in from UT Austin.”

“So you were in the same med school classes, then?”

“Yeah.”

She hummed with a small smile as they approached the barista and ordered their coffees, surprising each other when she got a quad with 2 sugars and Jake ordered a vanilla frappuccino with extra whipped cream. The smile on her face stayed while their coffees were made, confounding Jake, pushing his buttons until he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Why is Javy and I being in the same med school class making you so happy?” he questioned.

“Oh, no reason,” she denied. As they collected the coffees placed on the counter, she added, “just that I’ve been practicing longer than you.”

Jake stared after her as she walked back towards the entrance. Several emotions swirled in his body. Disbelief and surprise swelled at the core of his being, surrounded by jealousy, a need to be better than her, and also a sense of enchantment. 

She captured his attention with her fire and her passion, the way she fought for a patient she didn’t even know. She stood her ground when confronted with a different opinion. Her intelligence and wit challenged him in a way that made him want to both stare in awe and scream in anger.

She was going to be a problem for him.

[kickthecan-revolution]

I decided to walk the hour and 20m to my radiation consult - this is the first appointment where they do a bunch of scans and tattoo where the lasers go. The walk ended up only taking about an hour or so, it brought me through downtown SF (the TC Disrupt conference reminds me of the show Silicon Valley). After that, the Tenderloin, a spot in San Francisco that makes the news a lot for the unhoused residents and drug use. I’m not scared by any of that - I find it kind of fascinating to look people in their eyes and the stories their faces tell, sometimes it’s terribly sad- sometimes dark and sinister, and sometimes just your average person walking down the street. I also love the art in the neighborhood and all of the support, I walked by two volunteer efforts to ensure those who live there have resources they need. Sometimes it shocks me how people just stay alive for so long after so much trauma and abuse - what resiliency.

These driverless Waymo cars are such a thing in this city now. I’ve yet to take one but might try soon.

I loved walking by the theater Great American Music Hall where BND took me to hear Mark Kozelek for the first time. And how cool are the street signs as you get closer to a larger Asian neighborhood.

I arrived and screwed up the COVID protocol I was supposed to follow, when I got there, the nurse gave me directions while I had COVID and I totally misunderstood, so the techs were irritated. And I get it, they are dealing with very fragile people in the waiting room. So they set the room up with this massive ventilator and masked up pretty intensely while I profusely apologized for the hassle I caused.

I laid down and they said I was going to have to hold my breath for 20 seconds. For some reason, this panicked me, I still cough when I take a deep breath and I wasn’t sure if I could do it. They got me arranged and I had this MRI flashback and just suddenly burst into tears. I’ve no idea where it came from but I couldn’t stop, apologizing again. They were so kind and just reassured me that this is a lot. I appreciated their kindness.

We got started and my back started spasming in the machine a little bit but I was able to still hold still. I just kept my eyes closed the whole time and they helped me practice the breathing, and I did fine. We ended it and the technician who was initially annoyed walked me out and through the whole process - where I check in next time and even what color gown would be best for me. He said they are taking extra precautions with COVID because it’s taking people so long to recover from it, which made me feel better. He gave my arm a little pat and I thanked him again for how nice he was.

I went to the lobby and just started shaking. I sent a voice memo to my sister who already had an intense appointment with her oncologist today (it was positive but hard for her to take in). I felt nauseous and shaky and all of the sudden, really cold and hungry so I called an Uber and while I waited, ordered some pasta I knew would be home when I got there. I love Door Dash so much. I crawled under the covers and ate a little, and now I’m feeling a little more centered. I really want to nap but I’m going to try to stay up so I can sleep well tonight.

I’ll be finished with the radiation on December 03. My current plan is to walk there for exercise, and then Lyft home or maybe even walk home, we’ll see. The weather is getting colder but my intuition is telling me I need to start exercising for my mental health and overall wellbeing, so that’s the plan. I start next Monday, how wild. The appointments are 15m long vs an hour so I’ll be in and out. I hope it goes by quickly.

I’ve been meditating a lot on strength just finding us when we need it, and my friend Ashley sent me this today. It hung on the office wall of her radiation lobby. The Universe is in front of me, behind me, to my left and to my right. I’m held in Love. I can do this.

[fancyfeathers]

Okay I went to go see a production of the musical Anastasia, which is quite a bit different than the animated film and so got an idea for the Yandere Moriarty brothers and with darlings who are sisters are share the story of Anastasia.

(I put the lyrics of Anastasia songs in this so I recommend you listen to them when they come up when you read this because that is how I read it and it also just adds vibes)

The order of the songs that are included

In My Dreams

Stay, I Pray You

The Neva Flows

Still/The Neva Flows (Reprise)

Picture the plot of Anastasia, a royal family murdered and an entire nation turned upside down by a revolution that said times would be better but they were not. Well the entire royal family was murdered, though they did not survive the daughters may be still alive and there is a rumor that her grandmother who resided in London would pay a hefty sum to whomever would bring the three of them back. A few young ladies in the nation who happens to resemble the missing princesses gets picked to play the parts but it just happens that it is not a part they were playing, it is actually them. When the three and their friends escaped the nation and made their way to the capital of the British Empire to look for their grandmother who is looking for her missing granddaughters, and when it turns out to actually be the missing girls, Britain booms with the news, foreign royalty reunited.

But to back track a bit to when the three and their companions arrived in the nation they had the brief encounter with an Earl and his two younger brothers when looking for directions around the city. While their meeting was brief but very kind which was nice since the three of them were nothing in that moment, of course the sisters did not notice how smitten they had the men. So when the morning paper arrives at the Moriarty estate and reports the heartwarming story of old royal family being reunited and the Moriartys are not oblivious to why most of the old royal family was murdered, they were hated by the people but now the new government is also hated, an example of what they would not do in their plan.

When the sisters encounter the Moriarty brothers again it is at their first ball since the massacre of their family, the three of them returning to high society. William had no doubt when he read the paper that the sisters were the missing princesses that the paper spoke of, but it is certainly something else to see them all dressed up while their grandmother shows them off. The brothers manage to get a moment alone with them and the conversation is pleasant till Albert asks what life was like between what happened and now and they all go pale in the face, and to describe what they said I can only quote the lyrics from the musical…

They said I was found by the side of a road There were tracks all around, it had recently snowed In the darkness and cold with the wind in the trees A girl with no name, and no memories but these

Rain against a window, sheets upon a bed Terrifying nurses whispering overhead "Call the child Anya, give the child a hat" I don't know a thing before that

Traveling the back roads, sleeping in the wood Taking what I needed, working when I could Keeping up my courage, foolish as it seems At night all alone in my dreams

In my dreams shadows call There's a light at the end of a hall Then my dreams fade away But I know it all will come back One day

The brothers watch as the girls get dotted on by the aristocracy of England, it must have been so hard for them, terrified and alone like that, and then having to live like the lower class. Then one of the nobles mentions the Lord of Crime and says that the girls must not be scared since they have been through that sort of thing already and the girls have never heard such a person and then explanation comes up and the three look like they are about to vomit, all those horrid memories come back of the massacre that night, killing nobles just because they wish for change is what caused them all this pain.

Albert’s darling, the eldest of the three, the one who looked out for and protected her sisters all those years, is the one to find out about the Lord of Crime’s identity first. Since she is the eldest, she gets invited to many of the parties and balls, including the masquerade that had the game of Lord of Crime that the nobles laugh at but for her it all just feels to real for her. She was invited by Albert himself to be his plus one and as they dance she confesses that making a game out of the deaths of others makes her sick. When they were leaving their home, boarding the train, they encountered a count from their past who cared for them, who bent of his knee and kissed each of their hands, and led everyone in a prayer of farewell to their homeland because they would never return again, someone she hoped would be here but he died protecting them, fatally shot by the police for illegally boarding the train and they would have been killed as well if he did not care so much about them. He was kind and yet was said he must die, it was sick, she can still remember the words he said to them…

How can I desert you? How to tell you why? Coachmen, hold the horses Stay, I pray you Let me have a moment Let me say goodbye

To bridge and river Forest and waterfall Orchard, sea, and sky Harsh and sweet and bitter to leave it all I'll bless my homeland till I die

How to break the tie? We have shared our tears And shared our sorrows Though the scars remain And tears will never dry I'll bless my homeland till I die

She has to excuse herself to keep herself from crying, but when she returns there is a man dead and practically no one cares and she just looks up to the upper balcony where Albert is and he is smiling while speaking to another. People are unbothered by the dead man or the smiling one above that is responsible. She runs out the party and calls her own carriage and leaves while just sobbing uncontrollably.

The second to uncover the truth is Louis’ darling, she is awake when her sister returns home from the party and absolutely mess and she rushes to her sister’s side to see what was the matter and everything pours out of what she saw. At first she does not believe her, that is until the next day where she is sitting down at the park with a book in the nicer part of London and is approached by Louis who spotted her from afar. He sits with her and the two chat and then Louis tells her that Albert let him know that her sister left the party rather early last night and asks her if she knew why and instead of responding to his question she asks him what he thought of the Lord of Crime and his answer makes her shake her head, the country needs reform and-

She interrupt him and excuses herself, because she had everything taken from her and she never did anything wrong. She tells him that what the Lord of Crime is trying will get them nowhere because she has seen what has happened when this sort of thing happens…

I saw the children as the soldiers closed the gate The youngest daughter and her pride My father leaving on the night they met their fate His pistol by his side

The Neva flows, a new wind blows And soon it will be spring The leaves unfold, the Tsar lies cold A revolution is a simple thing

I heard the shots. I heard the screams. But it's the silence after I remember most

She leaves, running off as Louis calls after her but to no avail. She runs home to tell her sister that she believes her and they both try to tell their littlest sister but she does not believe them…

With Williams’s darling, there is a part of the musical, a man is sent after them to kill her if she turns out to be the actual missing princess. She was invited to tea at the Moriarty estate and she goes to show her sisters that they are being silly and there is nothing wrong with the Moriarty brothers since they were so kind to them when the first came to London and where no ones. Tea is very pleasant, though most of it William just asked her questions and asked her questions. When it came to an end and William is helping her get her coat on there is a knock on the door and since she is about to leave, she opens it only to see a face and a uniform she thought she had left behind in Russia

Gleb

An underhanded girl An act of desperation And to my consternation I let you go

Well, not this time Paris is no place for a good and loyal Russian

We are both good and loyal Russians

I've come to take you home

My home is here now

Stop playing this game, Anya! I beg you

We both know it's not a game Gleb

If you really are Anastasia Do you think history wants you to have lived?

Yes! Why don't you?

The Romanovs were given everything And they gave back nothing Until the Russian people rose up and destroyed them

All but one Finish it I am my father's daughter

And I am my father's son! Finish it I must

There is a gun pointed at her and her life flashes before her once again. She truly thinks she is going to die in that moment, she closes her eyes tight, awaiting her fate, but the bullet never comes. She opens her eyes only to see her assassin dead on the ground, a blade buried in his skull and she screams and falls back, right into William who is wiping the blood stain off of his face. It is when he caught her and she looks up at him to see him smiling at her that she realizes her sisters were right all along.

[whiskeyswifty]

Hello, we're not mutuals, but I've been a long-time follower of yours, and I've always associated you with New York. So today, when my job told me they're sending me on a mission there next month, I immediately thought of you haha. This is my very first time visiting. I am staying over a week, but I'll be working weekdays up until like 5 PM. If you have time, could you please recommend me some must do/see things in your opinion? Thank you 💕

this is so incredibly sweet and lovely!! taylor swift move over I'M NEW YORK CITY NOW BITCH!! kiddingggggg but i'm still so warmed by you saying that. I'd be happy to be your unofficial tour guide of sorts, and i'll give you a mix of places that you should definitely see since you haven't been before and some fun offbeat places that might not be first on tourism lists but i particularly love. You can peruse the list and pick and choose as you wish! No pressure to do anything of course and i won't be offended if things don't seem interesting to you. Also this is in no particular order, just how they popped into my brain haha.

Grand Central Station - one of my absolute favorite places in the city. It's a architectural marvel from a bygone era (literally we don't build them like this anymore) and is actually as stunning as in pictures! The teal vaulted ceiling painted and lit up with constellations from the night sky, the original chandeliers, the Tennessee marble floors. It's also a fully working transit hub so you'll get to feel the hustle and bustle of the city. Lots to eat here too if you want a bite, like the famed Oyster bar or something quick from the food hall in the basement, which isn't much to write home about but convenient and hardly ever crowded. There's also a bar off the side of the station that used to be the office of a very wealthy financier, called The Campbell. One of the most stunning bars and lounges in the city and if you time it right, you can enjoy a drink or a bite to eat without a huge crowd!

2. The Met (aka The Metropolitan Museum of Art) - my personal favorite museum in the entire world, although i am biased and used to live a few blocks from the steps so it might just be the museum i've been to the most lol. However, it's phenomenal in it's range of pieces and in how immersive the curators try to make each exhibit. Instead of putting objects in cases, they try to display them in the context with which they were used! The Arms and Armor hall is my FAVORITE with several suits of armor on horseback parading down the middle of the whole exhibit, and flags hanging from the balconies that each represent one of the knights of the round table!! i mean how COOL is that!! Also, a must see is the temple of dendur, obviously. moved so Egypt could build a dam in the area it resided, they gave it as a gift to Kennedy for the millions he allocated to help Egypt preserve their monuments. it was accepted on behalf of his wife Jackie, who then was instrumental in *ahem* suggesting quite forcefully to the presidential successor LBJ that it be put indoors and not outdoors (obviously). go to the Met who agreed to pay for an entire addition just for it. It just so happens that the addition they built to house the temple has floor to ceiling windows that look up into the very apartment on 5th Ave that Jackie was living in at the time. Whether you find that a burst of sentimentality for her late husband or hubristic, that's up to you, it's probably a bit of both, but i love that story as it gives the temple a fun bit of context. Another highlight is the furniture collection, which sounds boring but to display them the met recreated entire ROOMS from the eras the furniture is from, including a full transplant of the living room of one of Frank Llyod Wright's most famous homes!! and you can walk IN IT. (i could go on for days, as could you wandering this museum and all of it's fantastic collections)

3. Time's Square - which is loud and dirty and crowded and horrendous BUT is still pretty magical, especially if you've never been. My advice, go late at night if you can for smaller crowds and it just looks so damn cool all lit up, even I can't deny.

4. The West Village - broad i know, but i'm a huge advocate for walking around residential areas when you visit a city. something my mom taught us as kids and it's a great way to get a feel for how people actually live and not just the Disneyland areas. also it provides a bit of a sensory and energy break on your trip as most residential areas are mellow. This is one of the more lively areas, but you'll find yourself wandering around stunning colonial town homes and adorable shops. It's a bit grimy and crowded with NYU kids in some parts, even on weeknights, but i think it adds to the charm of it. It's a lived in neighborhood! Washington Square park is a fun little central area to people watch, but honestly sitting at a cafe table anywhere is really fun just to see people walk by, ranging from 80 year old hippies who have lived there for their entire lives to 18 year old kids who look like the coolest people i've ever seen in my life. Also, you'll always find a swiftie taking a photo under the cornelia st. sign, so if you want a little piece of swiftie new york, that's an easy one to get. (there's a section that is particularly grubby and awful that is a series of blocks below west 4th under Washington square park and above Houston st, bordered on the east and west by Broadway and 6th ave respectively. It's not horrible, but it's super crowded and the less charming chunk of the area for sure. however feel free to venture down there for some trendy food and interesting shops if you're feeling up for it! a fun little store that's cool to peruse is called Chess Forum where they host chess tournaments but also sell incredibly intricate themed chess sets! don't go out of your way, but if you're around, pop in and check it out for five or so minutes)

5. Statue of Liberty (including the ferry itself) - something that should be overrated but really isn't! It's genuinely cool, even to me who's lived here for so long and to my friends who are lifelong new yorkers. It's such a monument in the truest sense of the word and honestly, bigger than you expect. It's not that you think it's going to be small, just the mere fact of seeing something you've only seen in photos, your brain will just be shocked at how big it is. No need to go up in it, imo, but do what you want! I think the last ferries leave around 5 each day so if you can make it out of work a biiiiiit early one day, and you're nearby, you can catch it! Not a must do of course, but if you find the time, it's one of those few things in life i have found that is worth it. Also, the ferry to and from there is a bonus sightseeing element as you get GREAT views of the tip of manhattan! makes for some gorgeous photos and one of the lesser known tips is manhattan as seen by a boat is one of the best views you'll get. If you can't make it to the official ferry tour, here is a pro tip: take the Staten Island Ferry. i KNOW that sounds weird, but the route to Staten Island is pretty much the same as the Statue of Liberty tour route. You won't stop at the island to get off and see the statue, BUT you'll get very close to it! Why the Staten Island Ferry? Well it runs all hours of the day and night and it's FREEEEEE. You can just hop back on the returning ferry and get double the views! You can board the ferry in Manhattan at the tippy tip on the bottom right at Whitehall terminal. The second best view of Manhattan is......

6. Brooklyn Bridge - another great monument that is open to you 24 hours a day if you cannot get out of work early enough. Another architectural marvel (which i'm super into so apologies if you don't care about buildings lol) but also a true monument! You can walk across it at any time of day and be sure to turn around half way for a spectacular view of manhattan. my advice to you, as corny as it is, do NOT turn around until you get halfway at least. the contrast of walking away from the city and turning around and seeing it up close like that is really a delight. I always make people i go with do that and they hate me until they turn around and then they're begrudgingly happy they listened. Also, truly any time of day is great, but if you happen to do it at dusk on a lovely spring day, oooooo boy it's glorious. I have dozens of stories about the bridge, as it's one of my favorite stories in the entire history of the world (again biased sorry but it's SUCH A GOOD STORY) but two anecdotes i'll tell you. 1. the man who was supposed to build the bridge was the son of the man who designed it, and he had everything ready to go but got sick and bedridden shortly after starting. So, his wife, who had been studying engineering alongside him this entire time, was taught by her husband specifically about bridge engineering as he was bedridden for ten years. Over the course of that time, she eventually took over as Chief Engineer on site and technically is the person who oversaw and instructed the construction of the bridge, her husband never really setting foot on the project site. Her name is Emily Roebling and for her work, they awarded her the privilege of being the first person to cross the bridge on opening day, leading the parade. Also, there is a street named after her on the Brooklyn side near the bridge. 2. It was the largest suspension bridge ever built at that time and people were freaked out by it, thinking it would fall. To prove to the public how sturdy it was, Emily enlisted the help of the circus star P.T. Barnum (yes that Barnum) who brought 21 elephants, including his star Jumbo, to cross the bridge!

7. Broadway rush tickets - since you sound like you're traveling alone, or at least with a small group, broadway rush tickets will be very easy for you to get! You can look up the process online, there are lots of resources. It's the only way to see something cheap these days, and even then it might not be so cheap. I'm not a huge broadway person so I can't say what is particularly good or bad, but currently Stereophonic is a hot new show that seems really interesting! It's more dramatic and play-esque than your typical dazzling brassy musical, so if you're into that, check it out!

8. Top of the Rock - most people will send you to the empire state building to see skyscraper level views. and that's good too, but here's the thing, you're IN the empire state building.... so you can't SEE it. people don't think of this and walk away from their new york visit with no photos of the damn thing because they stood on it instead. Also, it's a fenced in balcony for.... obvious reasons and much more limited in scope. Top of the Rock is not only in the very cool rockafeller center, which is fun to walk around and admire, but you can see the empire state building while up there! Also, it has northern AND southern views, all at the same time on the roof deck, with glass walls. So you get no obstructions! It's also situated a bit further north so you get a fantastic view of central park sprawling north. It's open until midnight, so after work you can get some dazzling sunset views or glittering cityscape night views.

Some food recs:

Pizza: the most controversial of all, and sooooooo particular to each person's taste. Most pizza places on Best Of lists are great, you can't go wrong. Word of advice to you though: L'Industrie is great, but the lines are insane and it's not THAT worth it. However, if you want a typical "slice" then look no further than these two:

Joe's - the most accessible since it's all over the city, but is honestly the perfect slice imo. Which means there's not much to it in terms of frills, but that's what tourists seem to not understand. it's just a damn good slice. Crust perfect, crispy and not droopy, sauce to cheese ratio is perfect, sauce has a bit of flavor but not too much. I go for the cheese cuz i'm basic but the pep is great too! Don't get anything else. Carmine's is the original shop but any of the locations are great.

Scarrs - this is my ACTUAL favorite slice, however there's only one location and it's pretty out of the way. It's on the LES, which is a fun place to wander if you don't mind a bit of grit and grime. Again, super simple, but my man mills his OWN FLOUR so he can get the right ratio. as far as i know, nobody else in new york is doing that. Dough is also fermented, so it has the perfect amount of crisp, tang, and saltiness. Also, Scarr is afro-latino which is rare in the pizza world, but a welcome wakeup call to all the italian goombahs slinging mediocre pies. As always, get the plain cheese, but the hotboi is so fucking good, don't miss it. and get the honey on top!!

Bagels: Honestly, anywhere you go will have great bagels. I've gone into the shittiest looking dump and gotten a bagel better than outside the tristate area. (Yes the water is what makes it great, it's been proven and it makes the pizza great too).

Personally, my favorite is Tompkins Square Bagels as i lived next to it for many many years. Bagel purists shut upppppp i don't wanna hear it!! They churn out bagels pretty frequently so you're likely to get a hot one! DONT get it toasted, especially if its a fresh bagel. It'll be perfect on it's own, but do what you must to enjoy it. You MUST however get an everything bagel, scallion cream cheese is optional but it's highly recommended. If they have it, the french toast bagel is wild and kind of sacrilegious, but soooooo fucking good if it's warm. get plain or if you wanna develop diabetes, birthday cream cheese if they got it.

Russ & Daughters - an absolute knockout place, both the storefront/bagel shop and the restaurant. It's incredibly stylized to evoke old school LES bagel counters of yore, but the quality is unmatched. There is usually a line, so i don't really emphasize this as a MUST GO place, as new yorkers don't wait in lines lol. But weekdays you might fare better! If you're a lox person, this is the place to get your bagel and lox. (i'm not, which is blasphemous to my jewish family, but i won't turn down one from Russ and Daughters).

Gonna list my other favs here just so you have some in other neighborhood: Baz Bagels (LES), Murray's Bagels (WV), Apollo Bagels (EV), H&H (UES), Orwashers (UES & UWS), Tal Bagels (various locations).

Other Food spots that i like that are pretty classic new york food!

Daily Provisions - get the BEC (bacon, egg, & cheese) to feel like a real new yorker. it's one of the more gourmet versions, but my god it's a good one. also, go early as you can to snag a cruller. one of the BEST doughnuts in the city.

Magnolia Bakery - GO ONLY FOR THE PUDDING. the cupcakes are mid as hell, you can feel the sugar granules in the frosting, not great. Their signature banana pudding is fantastic though, and if the seasonal one sounds good to you, grab that too! they offer very small sizes so you can try both, or a big tub if you want.

Veselka - another spot i kind of am biased about because i lived near it, but it's a CLASSIC new york haunt that doesn't exist anymore for the most part elsewhere. It's a Ukrainian diner from 50s, and has typical diner food and service, but the pierogis are the star here. Any kind, go nuts. Open 24/7 and always filled with NYU kids, but still retains that city-that-never-sleeps charm somehow.

Pastrami Queen - for.... a pastrami on rye sandwich lol if that wasn't clear. Most people will send you to Katz, which is fine! It's not what it used to be, but it is a very cool experience. The pastrami is still good, and the matzoball soup is good. Knish's are a little greasy for my taste though. Best pastrami though imo is at Pastrami Queen. one on UES and one on UWS (plus a location in the new moynihan train hall) so it's not super easy to get to, but i highly rec it.

Parm - now this is my biggest cheat rec. new yorkers will read this and go, pfffft who cares about Parm? Well, i'll tell you why. You might have heard of the famed rigatoni alla vodka from carbone, which is good! but not worth the hassle of going to carbone. You CAN get it at Parm though, which is much easier to get into, cheaper, and more relaxed. They have several locations and the rest of the menu is really solid! Meatballs are great, garlic bread is fantastic, and the italian sandwich is wonderful. They've always had the rigatoni on the menu for those that knew, but only recently has the secret got out and so they changed the name to say "carbone rigatoni alla vodka." Don't go out of your way, but for a trendy new york dish you can brag about, that's a little tip from me to you.

Peter Pan Donuts and Pastry shop - LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PLACE EVER ok it is just a 50's style donut counter, and yes it is in greenpoint which makes it almost impossible to get to. HOWEVER if you manage to make it out there, you're in for a treat. Any doughnut you get is fantastic, and the pretty green interior and counters are so delightful to sit and enjoy as you get frosting/powdered sugar all over yourself. i try not to hype this place up cuz i don't want it to be even more popular than it is with locals, but for you anon i'll let you have it.

Xi'an Famous Food - a great hand-pulled and hand ripped noodle chain that is somehow still pretty authentic despite it's many locations. Great lunch spot for while you work, which most of these recs aren't lol. If the menu is overwhelming, i rec N1 and N2, or N9 if you don't love spice.

Morgansterns Ice Cream - also something you can't really go wrong with all of the Best Of lists. but this one is my absolute fav. Their traditional flavors are all exceptionally creamy and delicious, but they always have wild flavors on deck! You can't sample them, so getting a scoop is a commitment, but for fun, pick a wild one that you think you'd like and dive in. They're great at balancing flavors and making it actually delicious, not just shocking instagram fodder, so you might surprise yourself!

Los Tacos No. 1 - another trendy place that is actually worth the hype. There might be lines here as well but they move quickly, and there are many locations! A great lunch spot to grab some quick tacos, and one of the first in the city to bring al pastor to the masses. If you're mexican or come from the southwest, you might be underwhelmed or skip it altogether. but for new york, this is a shockingly fantastic mainstream taco place, and more authentic than you'd get most places.

Other than those big things, my recommendation to anyone visiting is to wander! Everything below the 80s is pretty safe, despite what you hear. The financial district shuts down daily after about 6/7 pm so avoid that for evenings mainly because it's boring. If you see something in a store, pop in! Also this list is particularly New York Staples, but it's one of the most racially and ethnically diverse places in the world. Seriously. any kind of food you want, it's here, and it's made by someone from that exact country/community. A quick google and you'll probably find whatever you're looking for.

I hope you have an amazing trip and no pressure to do anything you don't want to, honestly! Pick the things that interest you and go with your gut. It's a bottomless city and there's no definitive list of things that make it a New York Trip. Locals will tell you one thing and ex-pats will tell you another and transplants will tell you something completely different. It has something for everyone, but not everything is for everyone, is what I like to tell people. The city is YOUR playground, so do whatever you want! Just make sure to tip your drivers and servers generously and ALWAYS walk at a steady pace and on the right side of the sidewalk. ❤️

[bandofchimeras]

ACAB its not just a slogan or a meme.

police make everywhere feel so unsafe.

when you aren't one of the demographic they serve (landowning upper class white cishet people). i don't even think about calling the cops if my life is danger. I did that one time. they arrested me.

if there was a murder need investigating, sure, but i wouldn't trust that they would actually put any effort into the search based on who my friends tend to be.

in this city, they paid serial killers on the force 500,000 pension to "retire" and then get hired again by another county force the next year. everytime a cop car drives by, I imagine that verified murderers and accomplices, heavily armed and angry, are in the drivers seat. how is that NOT a fucking "gang"?

I'm white. I'm never going to understand the particuarly terrifying relationship Black Americans or Native people have with the police.

but when other middle class people make jabs at "unsafe" neighborhoods and places...they forget elite, rich neighborhoods can be just as deadly if you don't look like its residents. My blood pressure rises whenever i have to drive my junker truck with the taped over window into a wealthy area, or park near businesses where most of the other cars are shiny. recently all the side streets in this city have been full of "NO PARKING" signs to target houseless folks. In Kentucky they're working on passing the H5 bill the "Safer Kentucky Act" - which would decriminalize shooting homeless people. and criminalize sleeping in your car. and implement a three strike rule, which can lead to a life sentence or execution.

state sponsored execution for being "undesirable" think about that. they get to just decide who gets to live and die? for being "dirty" or using substances? for being disabled by a disabling virus?

its easy to let ACAB become a slogan and not think about why cops are bastards if you aren't exposed to dangerous situations regularly, and then default to them in a panic when the chips are down. because you haven't seen it. you're the white church mom I used to know posting about how nice the cops were to her when she got pulled over. the lady who makes her blonde friend drive when they go on road trips because she can get out of tickets. but once you witness the level of betrayal and mishandling in the criminal injustice system, the level of abuse and violence, the way your neighbors and friends are trigger-happy to use this armed gang against you the second you're perceived as "out of control, "the second that violence touches you it becomes so obvious these bastards are not your friends and never can be.

unless you adopt the ideology necessary to justify their aggressions against yourself and your neighbors. and even then. you ever seen some wacko with a Blue Lives Matter wrap get pulled over? its funny but also it shows, nothing will protect you. cops are doing heavy PR right now. town halls, coffee and donuts. they're recruiting for the upcoming militarization that's coming in response to Palestine protests and this horror show election in November.

Amerikkkan cops are heavily infiltrated and practically equivalent in many cities to other white supremacist, militant gangs. They are militarizing more and more rapidly. Using AI and integrating with the court system, more survelliance, more rules for how you're allowed to exist in public. think about that. why should it matter? if you loiter, if you skateboard, if you wear glasses or masks? you are being trained to see yourself and your neighbors as potential-crime-committers rather than human beings. we are self-survelling. reporting. getting off on correcting and ignoring eachother. What Israel is doing is a mirror held to our collective potential future. and you should be very, very alarmed. Fuck the cops. Fuck the prisons. Fuck the detention centers. We already have the Gestapo and the camps. Look the fuck around.

[bobwess]

You wanna see a sneak peek of my Endverse fic?

They've been floating the idea of finding a place where they can gather hunters together. Safety in numbers. Bobby, Dean, Rufus, Jo, Ellen. -

“Chitaqua.” Rufus announced as he walked in through Bobby’s back door and made a beeline directly for the coffee. 

“Gesundheit.” Dean responded. 

“Camp Chitaqua, jackass.” He claimed his cardboard cup before choosing a doughnut and shoving enough things off the table to make a place for himself. 

Bobby rolled his eyes. “What about it?” 

“I made some calls last night, and the ones that went through kicked up an old camp ground, been empty for a couple years now.” 

“How many is a couple?” 

“Have some faith, Bobby. A couple, as in two…” He took a bite of his doughnut. “To ten. It’s not clear.” he admitted. 

“And this… Camp Chitaqua is somewhere you think we should be interested in?”

“You got another thousand acre fully zoned retreat center lined up just waiting for you?”

Dean looked up from his own doughnut. “A thousand?”

“You wanted remote.” 

Bobby leaned forward, a little more interested than before. “Already developed?”

Rufus spoke with his mouth full. “Most of it is woods, keeps it away from nosy neighbors. Working plumbing and electricity. Two lodges, fifteen cabins and a flat area big enough for a couple dozen tents. Mess hall, rec room, chapel.” 

Bobby shook his head. “What’s the catch?”

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” 

“What’s the catch.” He repeated, flatly. 

Rufus lowered his voice, looking slightly guilty. “Five hundred thousand dollars.” 

Dean choked. “Oh yeah, just half a million dollars, let me get my wallet.” 

“Hey that is pennies on the dollar, far better price than you’re ever gonna get.” 

“Something that big ain’t going that cheap without a downside.” Ellen pointed out, ignoring Dean’s incredulous look at the word ‘cheap’. 

“Poltergeist.” 

Bobby leaned back. “You saved him from a poltergeist, and now he is gonna cut you a deal?”

“No, There is still a poltergeist. The grounds are heavily haunted.” 

Dean stared at him. “And that didn’t count as part of the catch?” 

Rufus scowled at him. “If five hunters can’t take care of a little ghost problem, do you really think we got a chance at kickin’ the devil’s ass?” 

“Alright.” Jo said, cutting through the ratcheting tension. “Let’s take the ghosts out of the equation, where is this camp?”

“Fifty miles outside of Kansas City.” Rufus dug into his pocket, pulling out a map of the state with a hastily scribbled X. 

Dean stood to get a closer look. “Anything special about the location?”

“You mean other than it’s not north?” Rufus said incredulously. “Which in case you haven’t noticed is not doing so hot right now.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But nothing else?”

“Just everything you wanted on a plate.” 

Ellen waited until Bobby passed her the map. “Assuming we scrounge up the change, how many people can it shelter? I don’t want to undershoot if we get more hunters joining us than we expect.” 

“Depends how cozy people want to get.” Rufus shrugged. “Lodges have 72 bunks each. Cabins are mostly one room.”

And tents if we got desperate.” Ellen mused.

“So a lot.” Jo crossed her arms. Hopefully way more than they needed. “Besides the ghosts, what has to be done?”

“What do I look like, a carpenter?” Rufus shook his head. “If you want a tour you gotta evict the old residents.”

Dean pushed back from the table slightly. “Are we actually talking about this?” 

Jo shrugged. “I vote we go take a look. Worst thing that happens is we kick a ghost’s ass.” She looked at Ellen. 

“Fine.” She relented. “But I got some stuff I gotta settle before we head off to go camping. Meet here again to leave first thing tomorrow?” 

“Fine by me.” Rufus said, reaching for another doughnut. “Bobby, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna borrow your tools and give my truck a bit of the love she deserves.” 

“Don’t lose anything.” Bobby said, sternly. “And put it all back where you found it.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Rufus grumbled, holding the door open for Jo before following her out. 

Ellen hung back. Once they were alone she lowered her voice a little. She nodded back towards the stairs. “How is he?” 

Dean sighed. “Not up to this.” 

“And you?” She asked, looking Dean over critically. “You in fighting shape? I’d rather push it a few days than get you killed.” 

“I’m fine.” Dean said. He tested a few rolls of his shoulder, pleased at the flexibility he had. “Let’s get it over with.” 

“Okay.” She said. She squeezed his shoulder before turning and heading after Jo. 

Bobby closed the box on the last couple doughnuts, pushing aside. “Cas’ll be okay here for a couple days.” He settled back with his coffee. 

“Yeah.” Dean said absently. “Thanks, Bobby.” He frowned. “We really owe you.” 

“That’s what family is for.”

[lunaballoona09]

blood on a marble wall | chapter two / twenty

Tasque Manager is murdered in cold blood at a Cybercity gala. Can the guests find the killer before it’s too late? Or will more blood be spilled?

just a silly little murder mystery i'm writing :) warning for death and stuff obviously but they're robots so no blood

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Queen poured herself her second glass of battery acid. She wasn’t super precise, but she knew how hard her Swatchlings had worked to keep the dining hall clean, so she didn't want to mess it up.

“My Queen,” Swatch greeted, making her flinch.

“Oh My Circuits You Scared Me” she hummed, setting the bottle of alcohol where it was before.

“My greatest apologies.” Swatch bowed apologetically. “How are you enjoying the gala so far?”

“It’s Sick” complimented Queen, hand on her hip. “Very… Fancy. Like Me”

“Yes, like you,” Swatch agreed with an amused smile, his tail rustling.

“Honey Darling Swatchy” Queen began, sipping from her glass. “Have You Seen Tass Anywhere?”

Swatch’s face contorted, and his brows furrowed worriedly. Tass had been collecting utensils for around fifteen minutes now.

“She was to get extra cutlery for us; she went to the kitchen. Perhaps we were out and she went to storage?”

Queen nodded, bringing her gloved hand to her chin in thought. “I Will: Go Find Her”

“Are you sure, your majesty? I could go look. The city is dangerous this late at night.”

“Nah It’s Fine” Queen shrugged, twirling her glowing neon drink. “I Won't Be Long. And Nobody Wants To Kill Me Anyway”

Swatch hummed in response, brows furrowed, as Queen padded off. She pulled open the back door once she reached it, cold air hitting her exposed, robotic shoulders. Maice scurried around the dumpster that resided against the wall, and the android smiled at the little creatures. Swatch and Tass wanted nothing to do with them, but Queen insisted any maice that found their way into the mansion were to be set free unharmed. It was the least she could do, and besides, they were her subjects as well.

The lights in the shed were off, which was odd. Occasionally it had faulty power, but Queen thought surely it had been fixed.

It didn't matter. The facial recognition security allowed her to enter (everything in her mansion recognized her face) and she flicked on her visor’s flashlight to allow her to see.

“Tass?” called Queen, her voice quiet and unsure. “Are You In Here?”

The lack of response stirred dread in Queen’s core. Maybe Tass was still in the kitchen… but what would have held her up for so long? And if she wasn't in the kitchen, why wasn't she responding?

“...Tass?” No response. She had to be in the mansion somewhere. There was no other explanation.

Even so, Queen continued exploring, her flashlight illuminating the path before her. The light flashed over something a bright white, and the android turned toward it. A cyan cord— a dreadfully familiar cyan cord— seemed to be attached to it, but there were boxes covering the object itself.

Queen heaved up the first box, and immediately regretted drinking so much battery acid.

That wasn't what was there. She wasn't seeing this right. She was hallucinating. Someone had spiked her drink, surely.

This couldn’t be real. Tass couldn't be dead.

Could she?

The sparking holes in the corpse’s chest and abdomen begged to differ. And the blue light that ceased to illuminate her eyes and ears made Queen want to vomit right there.

Queen stumbled back, nothing but fear and confusion running through her head. Her world spun and everything was blurry and no matter how badly she wanted to look away from the lifeless husk in front of her, she just couldn't seem to tear her eyes away.

When she finally was able to turn, her shaking hands fumbled with the doorknob as her mind screamed nothing but to run. Tass’ mangled body flashed horribly through her head as she burst into the dining hall, chest heaving, gaze flitting from person to blurry person.

She could barely comprehend the Swatchlings gushing about her, demanding what was wrong, what she saw, was she okay? Overwhelmed, frantic clicks and beeps left her speaker as she shoved past them, scanning the area for somebody very specific and familiar.

She crashed into Swatch’s side, her breathing labored and rapid. Swatch immediately grew panicked, resting his wings on her shoulders in a futile attempt to ground her.

“My Queen! Wh- what happened?” he asked desperately.

“Tass” she gasped, her mind reeling as it relentlessly reminded her of Tass’ lifeless corpse. “She’s– Swatch, She's–”

"It's okay," Swatch reassured her, trying to get the android to look him in the eyes. "Breathe, Queen. Breathe. What did you see?"

"She's Dead, Swatch" Queen cried, in a voice quiet and hopeless, barely above a whisper. "I Saw Her"

[wessexroyalfamily]

{Location: White Lodge, Winchester City}

Princess Margaret of Lancaster: I thought the Queen was in residence at the Palace, why are we driving out of the city?

Anne Spencer-Lewis, The Countess Spencer: You’ve been invited for tea at Claremont House ma’am.

Margaret: You don’t think the Queen is angry about the protesters outside of the Cathedral the other day, do you?

Anne: No at all, no one can blame you for what people think.  

Margaret: Well my mother already has. 

Anne: No offence to your mother, but she is not the Queen. 

Margaret: Exactly! If my mother was that upset, imagine how furious the Queen must be.

Anne: After the war, the Queen’s popularity took a hit, and since then she’s prefers to spend her days out of the city, to be away from the crowds of protestors.

Margaret: So?

Anne: So, you might be surprised to find aa ally in her, who understands what you are going through.

{Location: Claremont House, Hyde Park - outside of Winchester City}

Queen Anne II of Wessex: It was too soon.

Prince Christian, The Earl of Gloucester: How were any of us to know?

Anne II: We should have waited before having the two of them in a joint engagement. What was Alexander thinking?

Christian: We agreed to it. 

Anne II: His role is to advise us, with advise that will actually be helpful.  

Christian: I think he made the right call.  Now we have a chance to iron out the kinks before their tour around Dorset after the wedding.

Anne II: This  marriage was supposed to bring the country together, not have the people banging at our doors.

*knock at drawing room door.

Anne, Lady-In-Waiting: Her Royal Highness has arrived.

Margaret: Your Majesty, it is so good to see you again.

Anne II: Yes, Margaret, welcome dear.

Margaret: Thank you, thank you both, for inviting me.

Christian: Of course , now come in and sit, we have tea already ready.

Anne II: Did you get here alright?  

Margaret: Yes a car drove me straight here. It surprisingly isn't too far of a drive.

Anne II: Not at all, Hyde Park has been used as a retreat by the royal family for generations. William and his brother basically grew up in this house. I'm guessing soon you and William will have your pick of country houses in the Park soon, if you wish.  

Margaret: Thank you ma'am, but honestly I haven't thought that far.

Christian: Smart girl. How are things going at White Hall?

Margaret: We are all settling in fine. My mother and sisters love the garden. and it is nice being in the city but having additional privacy of the surrounding park land.

Anne II: Oh that's excellent to hear.  

Christian: And the press hasn't been giving you too hard of a time?

Margaret: No, security keeps the paparazzi at bay for the most part.

Christian: And the protestors?

Margaret: Luckily they aren’t allowed near the house, but I hear that a few have set up camp outside Woodstock Palace.

Anne II: Yes, Will’s staff had to increase security around the entrances.

Christian: You should know this won’t be going away anytime soon. The pressure I mean.

Anne II: But our hope is to make it easier for you. 

Christian: Yes exactly.

Anne II: We’ve arrange some engagements for you and Will to attend. The more the public see you two together, the more they’ll come around to the idea of the wedding.

Christian: And not just with you two, but you with the rest of the Royal Family. It will show the nation that you are one of us now.

Margaret: How many engagements? I was hoping to spend these last few weeks with my family as much as possible.

Anne II: I’m sure Countess Spencer can ensure there is time set aside, but it will be a bit strenuous. 

Christian: We a lot of ground to cover before the wedding in a month. 

Anne II: There’s a tree planting ceremony in Woodstock Grand Park that has been planned as a photo-op for you and William, and the royal household scheduled for you and William to tour the new library at William’s old day school, and a walk-about was scheduled outside of Woodstock Palace.

Christian: Not to mention the Courts General and Royal Wycombe in two weeks, and the luncheon at the Palace this week for the family.

Anne II: But we’ll start with a simple trip to the bridal store with me, your mother, and your sister to try on some gowns for the wedding. I think that’s all right, Christian? 

Christian: I know it sounds like a dreadful time. 

Margaret: Know I understand...just not much time left for me to spend with my family.

Christian: But you are apart of this family now, and it is important that the public understands that too.

[fangirleaconmigo]

I'm sorry about your friend. It's clear you loved her lots.

Thank you so much. I really did. For those who didn’t see, one of my friends recently passed.

We fell out of touch the last few years when she moved, but that distance did not make me care about, love, or admire her any less.

Mari was a hero for me, and I feel like a lot of you on here would get that. So I'm gonna share a bit about who she was and what she meant to me.

TW: suicide, homophobia

Mari was lesbian, born into a deeply conservative Mormon family and community. She did an interview with Out Sports when she had finally broken free of her church and her marriage. In that interview, you can feel how deeply she loved her family and wanted to be loved in return. How badly she wanted to be 'good' and 'acceptable' and how traumatic it was for her to loathe herself and even others like her at times. She forced herself to marry a man and she tried her damndest to fit it and be accepted.

But that shit is poison to your soul and she got away, but there was a cost. In that interview, you can also feel how excruciating it was to let go of that. But she did. You can feel in her words, the irrepressible nature of her spirit. She was ultimately able to struggle free and become who she was meant to be.

She was an accomplished athlete, and a gifted coach. Here is her last school's post about her passing. I met her when that career was over, ended by a bone disease and excruciating chronic pain. But I could see why she was so fucking good at it.

She was a born coach. She ALWAYS noticed people. She listened to them. She made all of us in her orbit feel like we mattered and like what we were doing was important. She was large and unmissable and had a huge smile and a joy for life and optimism that was contagious. She was always cracking jokes. Always getting people together. Always trying to help and inspire. Once she was ‘out’ she did an "It Gets Better" video.

In particular she was so uplifting of other women. She had parties in her back yard around a fire she called 'yaya sisterhood' parties and she'd call you a warrior woman for doing things you didn't think were that impressive. But then suddenly they felt pretty damn impressive. We'd drink and dance like dorks and it was the best.

But of course there was darkness. Difficulty. Major traumas. Abuses. Things I wouldn't share because she didn't do so publicly.

And when the bone disease ended her career she struggled with feeling useless and like a burden.

But the thing is, she FUCKING WASN'T! Because everyone she met can tell you of some way she changed them. She convinced them they could do something they thought they couldn't do. She convinced them that what they were doing mattered. And if you needed help, even if SHE couldn’t do it, she’d find someone who could. She would put a call out and find someone to help.

And on her easier pain days when she could get out of bed, she would organize us in the community, she partnered with other people, retirees. They would make sandwiches and drive them around to feed people. They would have special events on every holiday to feed people. (my son is on the far left) She made friends with unhoused folks and helped over 150 people get off the street.

But she didn't just do that.

We all know the reason people are unhoused in this country is because poverty is criminalized. Mental illness is criminalized. The bootstraps myth and 'if you're poor you deserve it' is in American culture far deeper than anything else.

So she would fight with city hall, she would fight with other residents, all the people who hassle them. She'd argue with the cops about how they threw out their belongings and arrested them for existing. She'd go to meetings and argue with people who opposed shelters and housing. She made a lot of enemies.

We live in a small right wing town and I do not tussle with these people unless I absolutely have to. They see themselves as the most respectable, best people on earth. Meanwhile they tote around guns and hang bible signs that tell you you're going to hell. They're scary people.

Sometimes I have to fight with them but only when I literally cannot avoid it.

But Mari would go out there every day and draw their wrath just by helping someone and not apologizing for it. They would tell her that her work would attract more homeless people to our town and she was ruining their neighborhoods etc.

But that was who she was.

She finally did leave this town. She moved to Hawaii. That was her dream. That was when we lost touch, except for occasional facebook posts. I knew the surgeries she had didn't help her back pain. I knew that she had personal issues. But of course I did not know to what extent.

Now, in retrospect, it seems obvious. A friend of mine reached out to her and said that Mari told her that she didn't know how much pain a person could be expected to endure. Another friend heard that she died, and she said...suicide? Apparently they'd had a conversation about severe chronic pain where Mari had said that she thought one day she'd be unable to go on.

I've lost a sibling to suicide. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve served on the board of anti suicide organizations. I’ve studied mental health. But even with all of that I know that in retrospect you can explain it away all you want, but no one can know but the person, what was in their mind the last moments.

Mari made a goodbye video but all she said was that she was 'out' and she blew a kiss. She didn't say anything else. We didn't even know what it meant until her family started posting the next day.

The frustrating things is that no one can know. There was so much trauma. So much pain. And I’m angry. I’m angry at anyone and everyone who caused her the preventable trauma and outright abuse.

But at this point, I'm determined to focus on the stuff that Mari CHOSE to put into the world. She didn't ask for a traumatic childhood or chronic pain. She didn't ask to be subject to abuse or homophobia. None of that was WHO SHE WAS.

WHO SHE WAS was a kind, empathetic, loving person with a big laugh and a silly irreverent sense of humor who wanted to be accepted and appreciated for who she was. And now that she is gone, she would absolutely want to be remembered for the good she put into the world. She would want the people she cared about to live life and think fondly of the good things she did.

So, to honor her, I want to do what she did. I want to remember to be kind to people. I want to honor people who society discards. I want to always remember that we are all the same.

I want to live by: We can all be great, because we can all be kind.

The impact of her kindness will be felt forever. Because we pass it along. One of the men she helped on the street came to the memorial I had for her in my backyard. He played his guitar for her and he cried and we cried and told our stories and honestly that is all I can hope for.

I can only hope that when I am gone (and we will all inevitably will be gone someday) that people can say that I made my little corner of the world a better place and that it radiated out and made everything better. Because that is the only true lasting thing we can do.

And that is what Mari did. My buddy. My hero. ♥️♥️ Rest In Peace warrior woman.

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter LXXX: Unbridled

I’d like to say that I’ve changed, that I’ve learned some valuable life lesson, that I’ve found greater control over my emotions. Better yet, I’d like to say that I started attending therapy as well, under the advice of that kooky doctor. Not just for my anger, but for my grief, and how the two intersect.

I couldn’t say such a thing.

I’ve not been able to bring myself to do much except go on about my day in the most boring way possible: out of everyone’s way, within a safe distance, and in the background as much as possible.

So you see, it wasn’t a coincidence that Ray, Sunny, Demetria, whoever else, didn’t see much of me. Despite living here, I preferred to keep it that way. It made things...easier. Not just for me, but surely, everyone.

Tigershark was an exception.

See, the kid, as strange as she was, often occupied the kitchen, same as me. We collaborated on dishes, cooked to our heart’s content. When a flame almost erupted in my face from using too much oil, she laughed hysterics. I almost yelled at her for her reaction, but I restrained myself. Truth be told, I enjoyed seeing her laughter.

“Flip it...flip it...FLIP IT!” Tigershark cheered while leaning in atop a stool as I cooked an omelet filled with mounds of gouda cheese inside.

One of the patrons, or residents, of the diner/hotel ordered it. I didn’t know the name on the order; I never did. Demetria or Proserpina would just walk in, call out the food that someone’s ordered, and I’d get right to cooking. It never really mattered who or what resided outside the kitchen. Sure, I’d see people in passing, some I had never met, but their lives were beyond me.

I flipped the pan, just like Tigershark wanted, and the omelet did an awesome 360 degree flip, and all was well, up until…

“No! The omelet split!” Tigershark wailed.

God damn, the kid talks like a sports announcer sometimes.

“That’s okay! You can save this! Just add more cheese and we’ll stitch it back together!”

“Uh…Right,” I groaned.

I sprinkled on some shredded mozzarella just like the head chef asked.

“Careful not to let it stick to the pan!” Urged the small sports commentator.

“Yeah, yeah,” I groaned once more.

“Aw, gee! You’re lucky you got a good teacher like me.”

I looked down at her and her stupid, grinning face. I raised an eyebrow.

“You know, I used to work at a diner. One located in a big city and frequented by lots of people.”

“Really?” She looked up in amazement. “Then why do you suck so bad at cooking now?”

“I’m just...a little rusty, okay?”

After putting the finishing touches, I slid the omelet onto a plate.

“There. Get it out while I work on the next order,” I commanded.

Tigershark shook her head.

“That’s not how this works,” she declared, took the plate, then opened the door to the dining hall and yelled, “DEMETRIA! COME GET THE FOOD!”

I had to cover my ears. God damn, that kid sure could roar. She really lived up to her name.

“Psst,” a little annoying buzzing voice came from behind me. I hate to admit it, but I jumped from where I stood, startled, and let out a sickening gasp. When I turned around, I saw the familiar dull, gray eyes and straight, short, white hair almost covering those eyes of hers. In other words: Cael.

“Let me guess: you want french fries again?” I asked.

“Nope. Not this time.”

“Oh?” That was odd. Usually that’s all she asked for, even if we rarely had fries to fry. “Why the change?”

“You know those TV shows where a character starts out with a few established traits, and then not long after, they’re shown to be well-rounded, only for a few seconds later for that same character to be defined by one or two traits and any depth that they once had now severely diminished?”

“No. I don’t watch television.”

“Really? What do you do in your spare time?”

“Mainly wallow in my self-pity. Oh, I also like to lift weights and read manuals for appliances.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. So if you’re not having french fries, what do you want instead?”

“Potato chips!” Cael declared as if she had just pulled a sword out from a stone.

“Um...I don’t know how to make potato chips. There’s a bag of kale chips in the pantry. Do you want that?”

“No, I’d rather not eat myself.”

I gave the white haired gremlin a blank stare.

“All right. Well, if you think of anything else you want --”

“M-Macaroni and cheese!” Cried a voice from below.

“Is that Calen?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m using her back as a stool. Why?”

I shook my head.

“Look, you two: we don’t have any macaroni pre-made. I’d have to make it from scratch and that could take a while. I could make some in a bit and save it for tomorrow, but if you want something right away, you should suggest something that wouldn’t take me more than 15 minutes to make.”

“I wouldn’t mind some deep fried french toast,” Cael suggested.

“Ooh! That sounds good! And deep fried tofu!” Calen chimed in.

I gave them a thumbs up.

True, it sounded weird, but at least it was doable.

I poured some fresh cooking oil onto the large, black skillet and got to work, letting out another sigh for good measure. Why? Maybe being alive was just exhausting.

Time passed. It always did.

Mid-afternoon now. Three PM.

All the activity of people ordering food had died and Tigershark had taken over what was left. As for me, I sat down at one of the booths, way off toward the back, near the restroom. I had my head against the board facing the wall, and on the table was a plate I made: french toast (not deep fried, though), scrambled eggs, and bacon (apparently lamb bacon. Whatever. Meat is meat).

There were a few other people occupying the dining area: on the far other end of the wall was the faint image of Remora and Demetria resting their heads on each other. Calen and Cael were a couple seats down, and Tigershark sat with them as the three chatted away with each other (I had no clue what they were talking about, as from where I sat, their voices just blended in together). Seated alone near the door was another white haired young woman, with blank, white eyes. She didn’t look too unlike Cael, but with hair much longer, nattier, and with bright, red scratches on her face. She was sobbing to herself, but I couldn’t tell why.

I squinted, tried to perk my ears up to see if I could hear anything from her other than her sniffles and her sobs, but I just couldn’t. Worse, staring at her so long made me feel like I had allergies.

Whatever, I told myself, it’s not my business. Someone else here will probably ask her what’s wrong. Everyone here knows each other, right? Or someone here knows someone else. There’s no need for me to be involved.

Someone from my past would have chided me for being so passive. Can’t name who, but someone. Of course, I used to be chided for being more proactive, so no matter how you look at it, I was getting my balls busted on a near-daily basis.

Oh, I forgot to mention someone: a few seats away from me sat a guy, rather average in height, with dark, brown hair. He was leaned up against the window, fogging it up, and his legs were folded (gray slacks). He wore platform shoes, untied, and a pinstripe suit. Worst of all, he wore a toothy grin on his face while his eyes were closed and he hummed to himself an indecipherable tune.

Wow, this guy just screams bad news, I thought. Again, though, wasn’t my problem.

After taking a few bites of my toast and my eggs (I didn’t even touch the precious lamb bacon. To think I had yet to know how its taste), I pushed the plate away. That wasn’t to say I was done eating, but I needed a few minute break.

Yeah, I know. What a waste, right? I certainly wasn’t aiming for completion, that’s for sure.

So, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

My break time was cut short.

“Hey,” came a soft, though a little bit scratchy, voice.

Had it even been a minute?

I looked to my left and standing at the booth was Prosperina: a short-sleeved sky blue blouse and black tights filled my vision, along with her straightened, nut brown hair.

“Mind if I sit here?” She asked with a slight smile. Despite all appearances, she sounded just as weary as I was.

“Go ahead.”

She leaned in and sat across from me. Once seated, she laid her olive-skinned arms on the table and folded her hands together.

“I realize we haven’t had a chat in a while. How’s life?” She asked, and I felt a little more life return to her voice as those words carried off. Almost as if she was laughing her words out, but it wasn’t quite funny. Maybe it was better to say her words weren’t on solid ground.

“Nothing really to say in that regard. Now that I’m here and abandoned my quest, I don’t really know what I should be doing. Do you know what I should be doing?”

“You’re asking me? I’m in the same boat you are,” she admitted, and that time I was sure I heard a chuckle. “Life’s tricky and while I don’t even have the answers for myself on what to do, I wish I had an answer for you.”

“Eh. It’s okay.”

“Is it, though? Err, never mind,” she shook her head, as if chastising herself. “It at least seems like you’re doing better. You’re no longer using a fake name, or playing things cool when you’re secretly angry and hurting.”

“Oh, I’m still hurting. I just don’t have a place to direct it.”

She turned her head slightly to the right, as if indicating the direction where Remora sat.

“How is it living with her?” She asked and she didn’t even need to say the name.

“Nothing’s really changed: I don’t think we could ever get along.”

“I’m just glad, you know? That you’re no longer trying to kill her.”

“Technically, I already succeeded in that regard. It’s just weird.”

“How so?”

“I thought killing her would give me closure. And, for sure, I felt a momentary elation, but I’ve still got this sense of grief that won’t go away. Worse, it’s not for any one person, nor do I have a way to get rid of it. Maybe I’m just grieving for myself. It’s like I’ve lost all sense of purpose. What’s left? I already got my revenge. She’s still alive, and so am I. Everybody wins. But I’m at a loss. Why?”

“I don’t know, but if you’re saying you’re at a loss, I guess not everyone wins.”

“Heh,” I snickered and scratched my cheek. “What about you? How are things with you and Hecate? Are you two finally an item?”

“WH-What?!” She almost stood up and hit her knees against the table in the process, letting out a hissing, “ow!”

“Careful,” I chuckled.

There’s something wrong with physical pain bringing out humor, but I guess that’s just what slapstick is.

“We’re fine. We’re not really communicating, but we’re sharing a bed again and we’re fine.”

“You’re not communicating, but you’re fine? Girl, what?”

“I mean...it’ll work itself out? We’re kinda spontaneous folks like that, y’know? As for the item thing, I don’t know what you mean! Ha!”

She exhaled multiple times in rapid successions.

“Cool it. If you feel like being bashful, that’s your prerogative. No need to make a scene.”

She huffed once more and let out forced laughter.

“Haa...sorry,” she calmed, “so, the truth is...we’re a couple. And we have communicated. It’s just a lot to take in, okay?”

“HA! I knew it!” I pointed at her.

“Hey, I wanted to keep this lowkey! Demetria still doesn’t know!”

“Yeah, but she’s kinda dense, don’t you think? It’s obvious for anyone else seeing you two. So how long has this been?”

Prosperpina hung her head low and muttered something.

“What was that?” I cupped my hand over my ear.

“Just a few weeks ago…” she muttered, but louder, so I could hear, “we talked things out after the party, and, well, things kinda spiraled from there and next thing you know I spilled my feelings. There’s still a lot to figure out, and we’re taking it little by little. Happy?”

“What’s there to figure out?”

“You know, logistics! She’s wanting to go back to school, finish her degree, and I...well, you already know what my deal is.”

“Ah. Sorry I don’t have more to offer in that regard.”

“That’s okay. Say, are we friends? You know, now that your whole ordeal is over?”

The question struck me. I should have said something like, “no, sorry. I can’t do that.”

But, with the funk I’ve been in, there was bound to be a few curveballs.

“Sure. I don’t have anything to offer, but if you’re fine with that, I’m open to being friends,” the words came out in a rather dissociative manner.

“You don’t have to offer any thing. Just talking like this is enough.”

“You’re not offering anything?” Balked a man, no, rather, the man who was seated against the window this whole time. He got up, and I noticed the white gloves he had. He folded his hands and cracked his knuckles.

Rather than pay him any mind, I pointed my thumb at him and asked Proserpina, “who’s this guy?”

“Apparently an old friend of Ray’s. He doesn’t like talking about him,” Prosperina whispered back.

“Of course he doesn’t like talking about me!” The man held his hand up and cried. “I always had a flair for the dramatic and embarrassed him! But could I help myself? Mama raised a starlet, who was I to go against my destiny?”

“All right. This guy’s just a weirdo,” I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t offering anything up. What’s the point in life without some risk?”

“Friendship enough is already a risk.”

He clapped as if clearing out chalk from a chalk eraser.

“Suit yourself. Say, I haven’t seen you around. What’s your name?”

“Nemesis.”

Whether or not that was a mistake, I had no way of knowing.

“Ah. What a splendid name. And I’m Aion. That’s pronounced like ‘alien’, minus the ‘li’.”

“So ‘aen’?”

He frowned.

“Disregard that. Names aren’t so important.”

“What’s your deal, anyway? I was having a nice chat with my new friend until you interrupted.”

“Deal? No deals. I’m not making any deals today. I’m just a bit of an eavesdropper, you see. But I’ll get out of your hair. I’m a busy man. I’ll probably say goodbye to this establishment tomorrow, anyway, as much as it pains me to say goodbye to my dear friend, Ray.”

“Uh...any particular reason?” I asked, not even too sure why I indulged him.

“Oh, you know. Business. It’s not exactly pleasure, but you can’t always have both,” he smiled as he walked toward the back. Maybe it was to talk to his ‘old friend.’ Who could say?

Either way, as soon as he was gone, I turned back to Proserpina, who had two hands grasped tight onto the table as she half-stood.

“Looks like I’ve missed out on a lot,” I said.

“Trust me: I don’t understand most of it, myself. I guess it’s really true what they say, isn’t it? About ignorance being bliss.”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s hell.”

Before she stood up completely, she held out her hand.

“It’s been good catching up with you again. I need to check in on Hecate, make sure she’s okay. We’ll probably take another nap together as well. I know being in pain and lacking energy is a constant for her, but I’m personally enjoying the frequent naps.”

I shook her hand without any more to say.

Was it rude of me to not say so much as a goodbye? Perhaps. But I was without words.

You know what? I got up too.

There was little priority I had, and no particular goal of mine. Nothing set in stone, anyway. But what I could say was that the little chat I had with Proserpina gave me much to think about.

I let the feelings of caterpillars crawling all over me, that sickening feeling, run its course as I made my way over to Remora, who while not asleep, seemed to be lost in a world of her own. That, or a world shared with Demetria.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

Remora didn’t turn her head, but her eyes slid open and glared in my direction. I sensed no malice, but I still knew what kind of person she was.

“Do what?”

“How do you go on after you’ve already lost your life? I don’t just mean in the literal sense, either – after you’ve lost everything that made you ‘you’, how do you go on?”

Just as soon as her eyes were open, she closed them again. In turn, she smiled, and reached her right arm over to hold Demetria closer.

“It’s something I used to grapple with,” she spoke, her icy voice with its needle-like calmness. “But I think I understand now: I’m always going to be me, just as you’re always going to be you. There may be pieces of us that are no longer a part of us, but even then, we’re still us, aren’t we?”

“B...But,” I pursed my lips. I didn’t look that white haired young lady’s way, yet I felt close to tears anyway, “what if we’ve changed? I mean, not just changed, but to the point where we’re unrecognizable from who we once were?”

“You’re thinking of the ‘Ship of Theseus’, but you need to remember, we’re people, not ships. So what if we’re not who we were before? We’re still who we are now.”

Her words were honest, but still came off like platitudes. I should have been more enraged, but I wasn’t.

“I’m not much younger than you, but in this moment, I feel like I’m that little kid and I’m staring at you in wonder and confusion all over again. Did I ever grow up at all?”

“You sure look like you have. But if you haven’t, there’s no shame in growing up all over again.”

I knew I shouldn’t have valued her perspective.

I glanced over, beyond her, and asked:

“Is Demetria asleep?”

“I’m awake. I’m just trying to enjoy the moment,” she grumbled. To be honest, it sounded more like pouting. Maybe she was hoping to sound angry, but it came out more like a whimper.

I smiled and nodded. What else could I do? In my own sick way, I could relate; I was less angry these days and more whimpering.

With nothing left to say, I made my way to the back:

Ray was seated, his hands folded, and leaned over. He didn’t look unkempt, but he did look ready to enter the second half of his life. I couldn’t really explain – it wasn’t the sullen, nor sunken expression. It wasn’t the dull eyes, or world-weary smile.

He had an open black jacket, polyester. Under the jacket was a button-up jazz pattern suit, with the top two buttons undone. Nothing was exposed, not chest hair, nor any collarbone. There was a shadow, rather, but I felt it unwise to linger upon it.

“You’ll die in that chair, won’t you? They’ll have to ply your butt from that seat,” I remarked.

He snorted and chuckled.

“I admit, I probably spend too much time in this spot,” he said, still wheezing a little. It was nice to know I could elicit a laugh from the old hack.

“It’s convenient, at least. Means I know where to find you.”

“Do you need me for something?” He leaned his head over.

“Need? That’s a strong word. I’m rather curious about that Aion guy. He said he’s an old friend of yours. What’s his deal?”

“Ah. Of course you’d be curious. Others have been as well.”

His smile faded and he sat up. From his pants pocket, he procured a cloth and removed his glasses, rubbing the cloth along the frames.

What was the look on his face? Was it somber? It must have been close to that.

“He and I are indeed close friends. We’re also bitter enemies. This is something both of us agree on, and have agreed upon. But our views on our adversarial friendship are different: he sees us as Sherlock and Moriarty, while I’ve never been that person. I always fancied myself as Arsène Lupin, but he’s no Josephine, and he’s forever in Moriarty mode, even while playing the fool.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Right, sorry. Silly literary things. What I mean is, I cannot defeat him through cleverness. He’d expect that of me, and some have given me the undue reputation that I’m some clever man. Maybe at one point, that would be true. But I can’t be that person with him. He’s too clever for that. I can’t play by the same rules if I wish to defeat him. If it helps, it would be akin to playing Go while he’s playing Chess.”

“Ugh...you and your shady friends are overly complicated. What makes him your enemy, anyway?”

He chuckled.

“He’s always been. But in practical terms,” his voice darkened, “have you seen Sunny around?”

I looked around. Of course, I wasn’t going to see her around the hallway. I didn’t know what I was thinking.

“Uh. No.”

“Neither have I. No text message, no letter. It’s been well over a week, you know.”

My chest tightened into knots. Why? I didn’t know. Sunny and I weren’t particularly close. That said, we weren’t adversaries, either. I recall my second fight with Remora, when I was about to kill the one I sought retribution against, Sunny stopped me. I turned my anger on her, and in that same moment, the anger turned to regret.

That must have been the most she touched me, as otherwise, our day to day interactions were between minimal and none. Still, her absence was profound enough that it affected the other residents.

“So, you think your friend Aion is behind her disappearance?” I asked. It seemed like the only question he wanted me to ask.

“Oh, I know he has something to do with it. But I don’t think he’s the main culprit. I think he has another plan entirely, and Sunny being missing was just convenient for him.”

“So if you know he’s your enemy, if you know he had a hand in Sunny’s disappearance, something which ought to eat at you, why do you keep him around?” I flared up. It was my first sign of anger in a long while.

“You know the old saying, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’? Well, it goes double when they’re one and the same,” he explained, only to backtrack a few seconds later, “actually, I just think I’m a softie, and I can’t help but provide shelter to anyone, even the worst of the worst. But there is some truth in that with him around, it’s easier to figure out what he might be up to, and if I find out, I can stop him.”

“He said he’s leaving tomorrow. For business reasons,” I informed him. Part of me regretted doing so, even though it probably would have been better than saying nothing, as no sooner had I uttered those words that his casual demeanor shifted once more into a deep-seated frown.

In fact, his whole face lowered, drooping like some tired, old bloodhound.

“I see. Then it must be too late,” he said, and pulled his glasses away to wipe what looked to be a well of tears. “I was hoping I would have more time to figure things out.”

He adjusted his glasses until they were fastened back over his eyes. He held out a smile, but it wasn’t a pleasant one, nor was he fooling anyone.

“Say, would you like to play hero once again? I’m afraid I lack the strength, you see. Or perhaps conviction. Yes, that’s it,” he sounded like he was begging for scraps.

I knew I shouldn’t have said what I did:

“I’ve never been a hero.”

“Yes. I suppose so. I wonder if any of us are,” he replied, listless.

I left him there to his tears. It wasn’t right, but what else could I have done? I wasn’t equipped to offer sympathy.

So day turned to evening, turned to midnight.

I laid awake, arms folded behind my head, staring up into the ceiling. There were no lights, not even the northern lights from outside.

The room I had chosen was a small one, which housed mainly a bed. It sat at the top floor, not far from where Sunny and Ray resided, and for the moment, only Ray.

Wallow in self-pity. Was that really all I did? Oh, woe is me, right? Woe is anybody. No one here was exempt. Even the ones who looked content housed some form of sadness behind their eyes.

“How am I to help anybody? I don’t have answers. I only have questions, and they’re mostly directed at myself,” I wondered aloud.

Even those answers never came as I drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, I had forgone breakfast and opted instead to head out into the pale landscape. Patches of grass poked out, signs of green among the black stone that made the ground. Snow existed in patches as well, an equal amount, I would say. The temperature was cool, but middling, without so much as a breeze. I was sure I didn’t even need a coat.

Of course, I wore one. If I didn’t, I might have gotten an earful.

See, I was headed off to the airport to meet up with a friend. Or something close to that. The concept of ‘friends’ after years spent refusing such things was still foreign to me. There might have been some fluttering feelings involved. Of that, I couldn’t be sure, only that I felt a like cockroaches crawling around in the cage of my stomach every time I visited her: Cybele.

I lied when I said Tigershark was the only one I’ve kept in contact with; it’s what I do. Heidi calls on occasion whether I want her to or not. That too is a lie, as I always end up enjoying our calls. In the same vein, I’ve made the trip over to see Cybele periodically. We’d chat about this and that, sometimes fly out and see a movie, or stay in and watch a movie on TV. Small talk, small actions.

We’d fuck, too. Sorry, some don’t like the bluntness. Make love. I don’t think we saw each other as ‘friends with benefits’, and it was just something that felt right to do. I don’t even think we had a name to call what we had. I don’t recall us once saying, ‘I love you’, to each other.

I digress.

My arms were folded the whole trip there and I might have even shivered. Maybe in anticipation. After all, it wasn’t nearly cold enough out, nor did I once feel a chill run across me as I walked. That puffy, black vest I wore helped give off the illusion that I was protecting myself from the cold, but I didn’t need protection in the first place.

Up the soft, but creaking steps, some parts wooden, others metal, I reached the second floor of the airport and turned the handle.

Before I opened the door, I heard a conversation play out. Not muffled, rather clear, actually:

“Please! I haven’t smiled in so long until meeting you! I’m more sure of it than anything!” Wailed the voice of someone I didn’t recognize.

“I think you’re wonderful and I want to keep helping you and being your friend, but a relationship like that is something I can’t do right now. I’m dealing with things of my own,” came another pleading voice. Cybele’s.

There was a coat rack by the door. I unzipped my vest and set it upon the rack. I had on a short-sleeved shirt with a graphic of the earth with rings around it and said in comic sans ‘EATURN’.

“No! If I don’t have you...what do I have? I’ll continue to be sad forever!” The stranger near-shrieked. I couldn’t bear any more. Whether the stranger or Cybele was in danger, all I could tell was that it didn’t sound good.

I turned the handle to the door and pushed it open.

“Hey! How’s it going?” I asked, forcing myself to smile as I strolled in.

Cybele stood near the corner, her face stiffened and her head turning frantically. Nearby, next to the foldout bed on the wall, was the white haired young woman from the day prior. She was hunched over, shaking and sobbing. Upon hearing me enter, she turned.

“Who...who are you?”

“I’m a friend of Cybele’s. Just felt like visiting. Nice to meet you!” I waved again to her, and as I saw her solid, white eyes, draining itself of its fluids, I felt a sting in my eye and strained to keep up my smile.

The young woman turned back to Cybele.

“The reason you can’t be with me...is it her?”

“No. In fact, she’s the friend I’ve been trying to get you to meet.”

“We’re all with each other already, aren’t we? Right now, we’re just hanging out, right?” It sounded cocky but I thought it could have at least lightened the mood. I was, of course, wrong.

From her jeans pocket, the young woman pulled out a small knife and pointed it my way. Cybele gasped.

I’m sure somewhere, they taught things like diffusing a situation or conflict resolution. I may have once been a vigilante, but I never learned the first thing when it came to that stuff. Hell, it was probably inappropriate of me to be as calm as I was, and study the knife rather than try to calm anyone else down. Before I said or did anything else, I just thought:

Eh. I’ve seen sharper.

“Yeah, I get it: I barged in at an inappropriate time. I don’t blame you one bit,” I shrugged. I didn’t even approach her. I was sure I could easily subdue her if I wanted to, but something told me there was no need for even that.

“You took her away from me! After I finally found something good in my life!” She wailed. Her arms shook and something told me she wasn’t someone used to violence. Rather, she just seemed like someone desperate. If nothing else, I understood desperation.

“Heh. Yeah,” I chuckled, wiping away a few tears from my eyes. “I tend to do that. I don’t think stabbing me would get Cybele to like you more, but I get why you’d be into her. She’s a babe, isn’t she?”

“This really isn’t the time for that,” Cybele warned through clenched teeth.

“Still, considering where you’re at, I don’t think you’re concerned about her liking you more. You probably figure you already lost and you’re just trying to scrape together whatever you can. If I’m the reason you feel like you’ve lost, I’m sorry. You can stab me if you want.”

“I...I…” She shook harder. Not once had she moved from her spot to rush at me.

Her grasp loosened and the knife dropped to the floor. She collapsed on her knees and her face filled up with tears as snot ran down her nose.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t always this way! I know it’s not right!” She cried.

I kicked the knife aside and bent down next to her. I placed my hand on her shoulder and expected her to hit it away or beat up on me, but she didn’t.

“Hey, I���m not blaming you. I’ve been there.”

She looked up. Tears continue to stream down, but she seemed calm for only a moment. Her milk-white eyes were wide, and that’s when I remembered something.

“Misty Eyes?”

“How did you know my nickname?” She asked in turn.

I scoffed. All this time…

“The person who killed my father used that name.”

“Oh, how horrible. How utterly sad. Someone would use my nickname to do that...I don’t recall killing anyone, but if I did, I don’t deserve to live.”

I shook my head.

“No, it wasn’t you. I don’t think you could hurt a fly.”

“I almost stabbed you…”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I was penetrated by a pretty lady.”

“I don’t know how you aren’t taking this more seriously,” Cybele drew a sigh of relief, but was still on edge.

“I’ve done worse. What about you? You aren’t hurt?”

“I’m fine, but jeez. You’re not wearing your armor, are you?”

“Of course not.”

“You could have been seriously hurt!”

“Doubtful,” I shook my head, “it was a butter knife from the kitchen at the diner. Those things aren’t even good at cutting butter.”

“Nem…” Cybele’s concern grew, despite the young woman not posing a threat. She didn’t finish my name, but hell, I thought Nem was a cute nickname as it was.

“What?”

“You’re crying.”

Ha. I guess it was true. I wiped my face, only to find more tears streaming. It hadn’t even registered.

“I’m sorry!” The young woman squealed. “It’s my fault! People tend to break out in tears and get sad when they’re near me! I can’t help it!”

I already recalled the story I heard about Misty. How she was exposed to the angel of sadness. The effect she had on others. None of what I heard really mattered, though. I was next to her, and these tears were the biggest relief I’ve felt in a while.

“I think it’s wonderful,” I smiled through the tears. No doubt, I’d have a massive headache later. “I have a lot of sadness in me as well. I haven’t been able to get myself to cry in a while. Thank you for this.”

“But it’s not a good thing. It hurts people.”

I reached out for one of her hands, placed my own hands over it, and held them up to her cheek. She turned out to be quite warm to the touch, even through the salty moisture.

“This is the kind of hurt I need. So please, let me have your sadness. Give it all to me. I can take it.”

“It feels like you two are flirting in front of me,” Cybele groaned. At least it seemed like some of her worry had washed over.

“Ha,” I chuckled, “maybe we are. I only just met her, but I already feel better knowing her. I understand she likes you, and that you’re not looking for a relationship. You’ve got your own shit, and I get it, because so do I.”

“I like you,” Cybele blurted out. “But...even if I like you, I don’t feel ready. And even if I felt the same way about Achlys, I don’t know if I’m well equipped to help her.”

“Achlys?”

“Me,” Misty Eyes coughed.

Oh. Right. It was a nickname. My bad.

“Nice to meet you, Achlys,” I said before facing Cybele, “I’m not ready, myself. I’m still trying to adjust to even having friends as it is. Neither of us have to help her, or at least not all the time, but I think she should be with someone, even if it’s not in a romantic way.”

“I’m sorry. I assumed I wouldn’t like you, so I didn’t want to meet you. Seeing you now, you’re actually quite wonderful,” Achlys murmured.

“It’s not your fault. I’m kind of a temperamental person, so I can’t speak to how good I really am.”

“Oh, shut up,” Cybele cut in, “I’ve already said plenty of times how good you are.”

I smirked. I couldn’t tell whether it was because of how good hearing that made me feel...or that I was at such a loss for an expression to make that my face just chose the dopiest one.

“This is my fault. I’m a lost cause. Please, both of you, let me be alone,” Achlys begged. It took me by surprise, as I thought we had reached a breakthrough with her.

“You’re not a lost cause.”

“I am. If you heard about why I’m in the state I’m in, you know it’s true. I brought this on myself.”

“No. Even if it’s true that you exposed yourself to the angel, you had no way of knowing.”

“I just wanted to impress Dr. Faust, Aion, but I made myself even more of a failure. I thought it would make him proud.”

“Did he put you up to this?” I felt the heat in me rising.

“No. He just gave me the idea. It’s really all me.”

“I should have realized…” I got up.

“Wait. Where are you going?” Cybele asked.

“I just want to have a talk with him before he gets away. Maybe he’ll know a way to cure her.”

“There is no way!” Achlys cried.

“Even still...I have to try.”

“Please be safe,” Cybele urged.

I gave her a wink.

“Don’t worry, I’ll grab my armor.”

I ran out of the airport and raced back to Ray’s place. I knew I didn’t have much time. Aion said he’d be leaving today.

Was I being stupid? Maybe. But if he put her up to it, if he ruined her life, even if there wasn’t some way to save her, I could at least get answers out of him. No. Maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe he had to pay. No. I’d just have him apologize at the least. That should be easy enough, right?

I burst through the front door in a huff. I had to head upstairs where my armor was. My, it had been so long.

“Nemesis? What’s going on?” Remora was seated by the door. Demetria wasn’t with her. I would have found that odd, but why? People weren’t always with their significant others at all times.

“Where’s Ray?” I asked the killer.

“I’m right here,” I heard his voice before I saw him. I turned and there he was: just a stone’s throw from me, standing with a slight hunch.

“You’re standing!” I gasped.

“I’m not always at my desk, you know?” He laughed, though cut his laughter short. “You needed me?”

“Where’s Aion? I need to talk to him.” I felt like saying, “I realize he’s a bad guy now and I’ll go punch him out for you,” but saved my breath.

“He just headed out. I guess he’s done here,” he smiled, but I knew that sad smile anywhere.

“I gotta find him,” I huffed.

“I’ll go with you,” Remora stood up and said.

“What? You? Why?”

“I’ve been suspicious of him for a while. What’s that saying, ‘two birds, one stone’? Maybe we’re the birds and he’s the stone.”

“You do realize it’s not good to be the birds in that analogy,” I slumped over and groaned.

“But there’s two of us.”

“A better saying would be, ‘two heads are better than one.’ Argh! I don’t have time to argue semantics!”

I raced up the stairs and grabbed my armor from the dresser drawer in my room. It worked its way around me and blended in with my clothes. It felt foreign, unpleasant, disgusting. But fuck, it was mine.

Back downstairs, Remora was already at the door with her staff that could transform into an axe.

“What? Do you think there will be a battle?” I asked.

“It’s good to be prepared, no? Besides, I assume you’re wearing your armor.”

It was true.

“I don’t think I need to tell you two this, but please be safe,” Ray saw us off.

“Hmph. I don’t even want her with me. I can handle this myself,” I scoffed.

I had no right to complain. But complain I did.

“We can discuss wants later,” Remora argued.

To my right, I saw a speck in the shape of Aion in the distance. Hell, even if I couldn’t make out any of his features, I was sure I’d know that was him.

I sprinted in his direction. I must have been out of breath the moment I started running, but even as my lungs burned, that didn’t stop me until I got close enough to confirm it was him. My blood had boiled over to the point that whatever my lungs couldn’t accomplish, the rest of me would make up for it.

I finally ceased running when our distance was comparable to the space between a treetop and its base.

“Stop!” I shouted. His back was turned, but I saw that slick, short brown hair with its streaks of black underneath.

He had on a dark jacket with a cape flowing out from behind him. When I called for him, he turned and looked quite annoyed. He carried in his white gloves a cane, and he had round, wide glasses.

“This had better be quick. I’m quite busy, and don’t have much time to talk,” he tapped his wrist as if he had a watch underneath his sleeve.

Remora caught up with me and was just a couple paces behind when she stopped.

Before I could get any words out, Remora was the first to speak up:

“What’s the cane for?”

He glanced over at it.

“I’m quite old. I need it for balance. You know how bones can get when you get to be my age.”

I swear, he looked in his late 20s at best. Even taking into account that he was likely the same age as Ray, he didn’t seem to have any trouble walking. Still, my god. What a useless question.

“What do you have to say for Achlys?” I demanded.

He laughed. Laughed like a small dog yapping.

“Really now? This is what this is about? You stopped me for this?”

“Answer the question.”

“I don’t know what ideas you’ve got, but I didn’t do anything to her. She brought all her problems on herself.”

“How could you say that?”

“Because it’s true. Seriously: why is it when a woman cries, people assume it must be a man’s fault? So you’ve got a soft spot for her. It’s easy to pity someone who’s so pitiful, isn’t it? But she’s your problem now, not mine. I relinquish all responsibility. Go wild. There. Happy?”

“No. I’m not happy. Don’t you feel any remorse?”

“For what?” He then paused and glanced over toward Remora. Upon catching her gaze, his lips curled. “Ah. What an odd pairing. Daddy’s little girl and the one who took daddy away.”

My previously boiling blood froze over.

“That’s right: I know who you two are,” Aion continued, “shame what happened to your father. He was a good man.”

“You knew my father?”

“Of course,” he smiled, all annoyance flushed. “I was the one who put out the hit on him.”

“What?”

Maybe he’s all talk, but he still shouldn’t know all this. Hell, he shouldn’t joke around like this.

“Managing those idiots always was such a pain, that’s why I left it to three stooges. But when I heard Smith ditched the company, I’d like to have said it was nothing personal and that it was just business. That’s what those stooges who acted in charge believed. But the truth is, I just couldn’t believe he had the gall to start a family. Your daddy gave great head and then next thing I know he’s hitched off to some broad? She must have been something special. Seriously, what did she have that I didn’t? The ability to give birth? Big whoop. Who would want kids, anyway?”

“Shut up!” I barked.

“Keep your cool,” Remora urged.

“Easy for you to say! You’re nothing but cool!”

I was back to burning up, and him speaking again reminded me who deserved such ire.

“Ah, but I must thank you for killing Trey for me. I never needed his help finding where your daddy was. I already knew all that. He just wanted to feel useful, so I gave him a simple job. Considering how fickle his allegiance was with others, he’s better off dead, wouldn’t you agree?”

“You!” I almost roared.

I let my armor show. At this point, I about ready to bash his brains in. It didn’t even have to do with Achlys anymore.

“Ah, daddy’s armor. Must make you feel tough, huh? Huge udders and a tiny temper. You’re like cow trying to be a raging bull.”

I brought out my curved, jagged sword. I didn’t care anymore. He deserved to die.

Before I rushed in, Remora placed her hand on my shoulder. I swatted it away.

“I know how you feel, but you need to chill. He’s trying to get under your skin,” she cautioned.

“Well it’s working!” I shot back.

“Don’t let it!”

“Shut up! You’re the one who killed my father in the first place!”

“That may be, but I don’t want you to lose your life as well. We have no idea what he’s capable of.”

“She’s right, you know: you’re free to try to kill me. I’ll even stand still for you. But if you’re going to try, you best be prepared to face the consequences,” Aion crooned.

Consequences? For what? Taking his life would make everything better. If anything, the universe handed him to me on a silver platter and once he was dead, everyone would be better off for it.

Remora tried to grab at me, to hold me back, but I rushed in after him with my blade in hand. I’d chop off his head. Clean and simple.

Except that didn’t happen. Only a breath away from his face, I was pulled off to the side by Remora who had rushed in behind me and pushed me to the ground. At the same time, Aion had swung up his cane, revealing a blade of his own, and it tore through the air and the ground cracked right where I would have been were it not for Remora’s intervention.

“Why did you stop me?!” I yelled into Remora’s face, who was just beside me.

“I wasn’t about to let you get killed.”

Aion sheathed his blade and it returned to looking like a regular old cane. He turned away and walked a few steps, but stopped to turn his head toward us.

“You’re very lucky it was just your armor. You could have lost an arm. Maybe even a chunk out of the side of your torso. Word of advice: you’re free to try to kill me if you ever meet me again, but do make sure to be prepared next time. It would save us both the embarrassment. But I suppose soon you’ll have your hands full with bigger problems.”

I didn’t bother asking what he meant. I looked down and saw that half of my armor, on my left side, was torn off. I couldn’t believe it, more so that I didn’t see where the fallen piece had gone. It was as if it ceased to exist.

“Wait,” Remora spoke up. “I always knew there was more to you, but were you the leader of the janitors?”

He shook his head.

“Not leader. Founder. As I said, I left the management to other guys. Being the founder still gave me special privileges, but I seldom used them. I also shaped what would later be known as The Flashbulb. I have a bad habit of starting projects and letting other people finish them however they see fit. For what it’s worth, The Flashbulb proved a good distraction so I could do my own work in peace.”

“But that organization. It’s been around for at least a thousand years. Even accounting for time travel, that’s…”

“Actually, usually time travel would shorten the process, but you’re right: no one person should have been alive from start to finish. But what can I say? I’m a very old man.”

He gave a light chuckle. It sounded like a cough. As if I was hearing the real him for the first time.

“One more question: you said you knew me as well. Were you the one who set me up to grow up as a janitor, to live in the shadow of my alternate self?”

His face turned pale, but I don’t think it was shock. I wasn’t sure if he was capable of such emotions.

“Heavens, no. I knew of their plans and the project, but I was frankly against it. Not for any humane reasons, mind you, but just the fact that it was a logistical nightmare. I told them, ‘one Rhea was bad enough as it is.’ Sure, they cared more about results than anything else, and her track record did speak for itself, even if she did commit some light friendly fire here and there.”

He cleared his throat. Though it probably didn’t need clearing.

“Besides, when you get down to it, you can never really replicate someone else’s life through such artificial means. She grew up with different circumstances, even if both of you had many identical experiences. Even if you two are the same person on a technical level, there’s no saying that you would have reacted to her experiences the same way she did hers, and vice versa. Still, I didn’t reject the project. Mostly because I thought it was amusing.”

I would have been pissed hearing that, but Remora just stared and nodded.

“Anyway, neither organization exists these days, which is the only reason I don’t mind telling you all this. The way I see it, you’re free to live your life however you please, with whatever name you like. Rhea, Remora, Jack, Shit. It’s all the same to me.”

“Thank you for your permission, but I’ve been doing that already.”

“Right. Well then. I have to be off. I’m sure you understand.”

He walked away again and I wanted to get up and chase after him, but Remora held her arm over my chest to keep me from getting up.

“There will be other opportunities. I’d rather you live.”

“I wouldn’t! Not if I can’t save anyone!” I shouted and tears began to flow once more.

“Who would you have saved if you had died from carelessness?”

“Why? Why didn’t you fight him?”

She stood up, but didn’t answer. I expected something like, “I wanted to know what I was dealing with.”

But she said nothing.

I blinked and looked up at her, because without her having to say anything, I think I already had it figured out.

“You’re not sure if you can,” I answered for her. “After your injury – at my hands, no less. You were told by the doctor that you may not be able to fight like you used to, right? Are you scared? Is that why you’re holding yourself back?”

“I just have a mission to fulfill,” she replied.

What? What ‘mission’?

She headed back. Presumably toward the diner. I didn’t follow. After all, I still had to report back my failure.

Up the steps were the most difficult. I suffered no wounds save for the ones to my pride. But damn, those wounds were the ones that hurt most of all. My ambition, my passion, my drive, it was already faded, but the one spark I had, confronting him, was in vain.

When I reached the room where Cybele and Achlys were, they were huddled on the floor close to each other, with blankets over their backs. They seemed in much higher spirits, or at least calmer, than when I last saw them. I collapsed onto the floor, still in my damaged armor.

The two turned and gasped at the same time.

“Are you okay?!” Cybele scrambled over. I almost pushed her away, as awful as that would have been.

“My armor is the only thing that’s damaged, but I couldn’t stop him,” I bemoaned and pounded my fist against the floor. It shook, but there was no lasting damage.

I broke down once more into tears, and this time they were thick, wet slabs throwing themselves out of my eyes. Their heaviness made it all the worse. I didn’t even have to look Achlys’s way.

“I thought this time it would be different. That I could finally be a hero. But I can’t save anyone.”

Achlys crawled over to me. I was staring down, so I wasn’t sure who it was until I felt her hand over my back. I knew it wasn’t Cybele because Cybele tended to glide her hand down my back, while Achlys had her hand stationary, right over the part of my back where my armor no longer covered, and her fingers were spread out.

“I’m sorry,” my face hung low as I turned to her and saw her eyes, half-open, and small tears streaming down. On her face was a slight smile, and she pressed her forehead against mine. “I couldn’t save you.”

She shook her head, still pressed against mine.

“I can’t be saved,” she said.

I wanted to protest, but she pulled her head back and looked up, as if lost in thought.

“Well, more like, I don’t need to be saved.”

She wiped away a tear and smiled. That didn’t stop the tears from coming, but even still…

...She leaned in and pressed her face to mine, her lips pressed against mine as well. They were cracked, and I could taste the saltiness from her upper lip. While she was the one who initiated the kiss, no questions asked, I found no reason to reject it. However hard and cracked they were, there was a softness to her touch as well. It made me want to open my mouth just a little, press tongue, and hold our kiss for just a moment longer.

I think it may have only held for a minute, but it was still a significant one. When she pulled back, she wiped away more tears.

“You’re already a hero to me,” she said through laughter. “So let me have your sadness as well. I can take it.”

[warriorsofsplatsville]

"I can smell it...they're going to attack again." Salomon grunted, sitting down in a chair, head in hands.

"Darling, don't become too stressed. If we were able to push them back last time, we can do it again." Coquina approached her grumpy husband and rubbed his back. "You said that you smelt their scent in the waters of Inkblot? The art academy?"

"Yes. It should be impossible for them to get access there, even if there is water on the campus. So I'm inclined to believe that they will continue to use the sewers to invade Inkopolis as many times as they feel necessary."

"Mep..." Salomon and Coquina looked over to the side to see one of the Salmonid advisers looking disgruntled.

"If you have something to add, adviser, I suggest you speak up."

"Forgive me, my lord, but...why should we involve ourselves if they're only attacking the city? It has nothing to do with our kingdom..."

Salomon's brow furrowed. "What a foolish question! Just because we are no longer a direct target for the rebels doesn't mean that we will allow them to attack the city! We have an allyship, a treaty with Princess Millie of Inkopolis! Besides, Inkopolis is your very queen's home. How dare you disrespect her?!"

"Eep! S-Sorry..."

"Salomon, calm down." Coquina scolded softly. "If you feel it does not involve us, think about it this way, adviser. If they start to take the land from Inkopolis, that's one step closer to them having a place full of resources that they may reside in. Which could result in a harder time pushing back if and when they attack the Kingdom next. We mustn't let them have that advantage."

"O-Oh...fair point..."

Mirage sighed, walking away from the entrance of the throne room and walking down the hall. Another Big Run, then? They barely caught it the last time, and this time they may only have mere days to prepare. They can't afford to keep doing that...

"I want to help!"

Mirage looked up to see Cruesa standing in front of them. She looked serious. "Isn't there another Big Run approaching? Allow me to fight back with you guys! I can do it!"

Mirage paused for a moment before shaking their head. "No, Cruesa. I want you to stay home for this one."

"Wh-what? Why?! I have every right to be out there, and plus, that's my family that's attacking Inkopolis! I know them, and maybe I can stop their atta-"

"That's exactly the reason why you need to stay in hiding." Mirage rebutted. "I don't....I don't want you to have to face your own family, Cruesa. Even if they're family, what if....what if they hurt you? Even if they didn't mean to?"

"Mir, I...How do you know that will even happen?"

"Just- Just stay home. I want you to stay in the house and lock the doors and windows. Don't come out."

She puffed up her cheeks. "How come you get to run out there and fight and I can't?!"

Mirage quickly took her hands into theirs, looking into her eyes intensely. Cruesa gulped and felt small under their gaze.

They lean over and place a small kiss on her forward. "...Maybe I'm also scared that they'll try to take you away from me."

"...Mir..."

"So stay home, got it?"

"...Alright."

-

"Ohoho~ So you come running to me now that you've failed? I find this rather humorous..."

"I don't want to hear it." Cinnabar sneered. "I just want to know if you're in or out."

"Mmm....what's in it for me, love? Why would I care about your silly little affairs?"

"You can have jurisdiction over that area, if you want. And don't call me that. I don't want to be affiliated to you."

"Hmmm.....land isn't enough. I want...riches, and true power. I want a place in the rebel army."

"That's too much to ask for."

"Phooey. Fine. I'll just settle on land and money then. We have a deal, Cinny-poo?"

"Ugh...yeah, fine."

"Ehehe...then I'll do my very best just for you, my lovely."

[antaniashanae]

Bishops Gala Continued: The Elements Personified

If I told you that I’ve tried to see EWF since 2014, would you believe me? Story time.

One day I’d prepare to travel to L.A. Y’all know how I feel about the City of Angels. This would be one of my lengthier visits as I was there for a week (and a day). Going to L.A. didn’t require an itinerary, but there are few things I knew I wanted to experience-The Arsenio Hall Show was one of them. I arranged for us to get tickets to the show where Earth, Wind, & Fire would be the musical guests. Once the tickets were secured, I thought of this experience for days at a time! What would it be like to be in a live studio audience on a talk show? My young, blogger-self could not wait!

Fast forward or slow forward. L.A. traffic absolutely sucks, right? I remember my bf and I being on the highway, going steady, then coming to an abrupt stop. We’d gotten caught in traffic just minutes before reaching Studio City where the show was filmed. We finally find street parking, walk towards the gate with 5 minutes to spare and BAM! Security stops us in our tracks to let’s us know that we could not enter the set. We arrived too late. Disappointment came over me, maybe even a little sadness… but we managed to take advantage of the time were in the area, visiting one of the best record stores I’d ever been to.

Anywho… for the next 8 years, I’d miss EWF shows in the Midwest. In 2021, I’d travel to Vegas AFTER EWF’s residency at The Venetian would be over. We literally missed them by a couple of weeks. In 2022, got $600 tickets for a show in Dallas and EWF announced they were touring with Headliner, Santana. Unfortunately, he would become ill, rescheduling the dates to Spring of 2023. I truly thought it wasn’t going to happen for me to witness this amazing band. And then, I got a call of a lifetime…. A dear friend of mine told me they needed my help with an upcoming event. Let’s just say, the rest is history. I finally got to see EWF in one of the most memorable and personable settings-Bishop’s Gala. One of the most beautiful things I adore about nonprofit work is that it connects you with amazing people. In any room I step in, my goal is to be remembered. This call was unexpected, and it was incredibly rewarding.

I love you, Earth, Wind, & Fire! ❤️

*Does Robot to intro of Let’s Groove* 🎶