#and they just keep neglecting everything
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I love living in Belgium, but the discrimination I get from people working in government institutions is becoming a lot. Your job is literally to work with immigrants. If you don’t like us, then find another job.
#I just called the city hall to see how my residence is going#because it’s been 8 months already#and they just keep neglecting everything#last week they said they had lost all my papers#by magic or what??#and why say something after 8 months when I’ve been going to check everything like once a month#and I call today and explain I don’t speak Dutch#that I need someone who speaks English#and I know they speak English#oh well they just keep talking to me in fast Dutch#I even tried using Google translator and repeat the words in Dutch#nope they didn’t even try#I had to end up hanging up#ah but when I go to my appointments with someone that speaks Dutch then they behave like saints#they don’t even look at me when explaining stuff#im invisible#text#rant#fuck you all racists and xenophobics
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Oddly for a sequel show, Cobra Kai is putting far too much weight on the original TKK film. They keep acting like this is teenage Johnny and teenage Daniel going toe to toe, but these are adult men. They should have lived adult lives and processed adult experiences and emotions before getting to the beginning of Cobra Kai’s story. Why can’t Johnny ever seem to grow up in a meaningful way? Why does Daniel keep chucking his healthy wealthy family life to the side to get involved in random ass karate shit? Why do they refuse to truly mend the fences between them? I understand showing trauma affecting them and TKK being an important moment in their lives, but the show acts like that was THE important moment in their lives. Nothing was bigger or more life changing than that (basically a high school karate tournament that happened one time) even though they’re decades past it. These characters aren’t truly allowed to be adult men grappling with the past, they’re written like stunted teens who are simply walking through some strange daydream life where they’ve got kids and jobs. And if the writers don’t ever treat them like adults, they’re never going to act like it nor will they ever grow in meaningful and permanent ways.
#I get Cobra Kai is fundamentally about that trauma and about TKK#but they keep acting as if neither character has thought about anything else other than it or just repressed it like crazy#be real with me. it was high school. crazy life changing shit happens then but the fact is crazy life changing shit keeps happening#they write Daniel as if his marriage was less important than TKK. his children his business his social life everything else#and Johnny was originally written as a man who let that trauma crush his life#but really had the power to move forward because HE NO LONGER WAS THAT KID!#the whole point at the beginning was Johnny having to reconcile himself with the fact that TKK is over. has been for decades#and he can’t live there anymore. there’s not space for adult man Johnny in that story#but then they kept writing it like TKK was the pinnacle of Daniel and Johnny’s lives#which is crazy!#and then only focused on that#even though there were serious important plot lines like Johnny neglecting Robby or Daniel repressing his emotions#or that violence left to fester is violence that will be fostered#these are adult men. make them act like it for fuck’s sake#cobra kai#ck#ck criticism#tkk#the karate kid#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso
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+ Bonus:
KinnPorsche + Text Posts: a quick Ep. 13 Rewatch Edition [Ep. 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]
#kprewatch2023#yeah I'm just as surprised as you that I've been able to keep up with this rewatch editions#(let's pretend that I've been sleeping for an hour and that I'm NOT neglecting everything else okay <3)#please don't let me down on the bonus I felt so smart when I came up with that <3#kinnporsche the series#kinnporsche ep. 13#kinnporsche + text post#text post meme#vegaspete#kinn × porsche#thai bl
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worst decision aveyard has ever made ever was make maven a man because can you even CONCEIVE how legit fem!maven would be can you even conceive it can you even conceptualise toxic yuri mareven omg omg you guys would never hear from me again
#imagine how that would change the dynamic maven had with EVERYONE. like keep everything the same except change mavens gender oh my godddd#cal the worshipped eldest son and maven the neglected wasted daughter#the only one who believes in her is her mother and her brother’s fiance who’s in love with her brother but maven is in love with her#toxic yuri mareven would go so crazy. feel like walter white cooking up meth just from thinking of this 💀#and toxic merandus mommy-daughter dynamic. 7029383030 injured no survivors#maven calore#red queen#mareven#red queen series#war storm#glass sword#kings cage#mare barrow#elara merandus#tiberias vii calore#rewriting
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How on earth is harris v trump a tight race??? How do ppl look at donald trump having SEEN the way he acted in his presidential term, seen his LENGTHY criminal record, seen the fact that NOBODY else in his party aside from some loose hanging cultists wants to associate with him, seen the way he literally incited riots after losing an election which resulted in at least seven deaths, seen his total lack of coherent policy plan, and think yeah well but Kamala is a cop. Which isn’t even fucking true
#she keeps painting herself as a cop which is bad for leftist audiences but so good for attracting literally everyone else#and its funny bc she’s not a cop. she’s a middle of the road average prosecutor. there is one thing on her record where im like ok that’s#indefensible and its her defense of prison labor in like 2011. everything else that ive heard of sounds par for the course for her roles at#the time she held them or it sounds like a campaign promise meant to draw the widest net of voters. she ran on progressive policy in 2019#and nobody fucking voted for her! im sorry but ‘’im going to get people killed again if i lose’’ vs ‘’[typical politician speech]’’ is just#such a clear choice to me.#the thing too is democrats let things get shitty so when they run they can be like ‘’i will fix this thing that i totally neglected on#purpose when i couldve fixed it years ago’’. but what is the solution here? how do we get them to stop? elect a republican cult leader? yeah#that’ll show em. that won’t give them more fucking excuses for when they can’t do literally anything#elect a third party candidate? who? where? you think jill stein is going to win her 40th presidential race with the same plan of minimal#campaigning and vapid promises??#anyways. this post isn’t meant as a ‘’vote blue no matter who’’ ‘’get out and vote’’ it’s meant to be like. no fucking way we’re acting like#these candidates are equal.
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whole house clean 👍 i feel like this
#i have been neglecting everything so it’s my fault this was such a pain in the ass#i still don’t know what’s going on w my living situation btw.#got the notice that they’re kicking me out spoke to the landlord once who was like ‘we’ll see what we can work out’ and i havent heard back#so im keeping my mouth SHUT in hopes they keep forgetting abt it bc worst thing that can happen is it just prolongs me being kicked to the#curb#we are good tenants though we never cause any issues other than me not doing the work i was supposed to for. a litany of reasons#mainly losing everyone i love and simply not caring if i live or die LOL#i gotta shut up abt it now i feel like im gna jinx myself.
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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nia, r u doing ok??
No.
#funniest ask to receive after my long as fuck analysis of which of my OCs are alcoholics lmao#but on a more serious note#let’s just say that I heavily relate to the this is fine dog rn#everything I spent the entire summer working towards fell apart in one day because of the tiniest mistake and I still haven’t processed it#my life is spiralling out of control and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it#my dad went out of his way to make my workload for the year that much harder for literally no reason#and I’m genuinely reaching the end of my rope#to the point I’m not even sure if I’ll make it to my birthday#but that’s something I am not going to talk about on tumblr of all places#basically. shit’s fucked. I’m fucked. and I continue to overindulge in my obsessions to keep at least some sanity#that’s gonna stop working one day. what the fuck am I gonna do then?#well. that’s for me to find out eventually. maybe. or maybe not#depends if I’ll make it that far#OKAY AND THAT’S ENOUGH RAMBLING FFS NIA SHUT UP AND GO TO THERAPY OR SMTH#you’re scaring everyone#or go eat. or sleep. stop neglecting both of those#but most of all just shut up
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That feel when your muse is capable of committing the nastiest, most horrific deeds but simultaneously can be wholesome af. Roman would absolutely be the type of parent who'd stop in the middle of torturing somebody just because his child woke up crying due to a nightmare, clean himself up and go comfort them until they fall back to sleep again before heading back to the torture chamber and picking up the scalpel while being all "Sorry about that, remind me again where we left off?" as though nothing happened. 🥲
#💀 || musings#!shitposting#Just a silly thought that popped into my head while at work this evening#I am absolutely blaming optimisticrobin for this btw#And honestly because it's something Roman actually would do#His parents abandoned him constantly leaving him to be a very emotionally neglected child#Pretty much everything they did was how NOT to parent#So Roman would actually be there for his kid even if it's something as stupid as a nightmare#tfw I crave the cursed content but also wholesome#Roman is so fucked up it's not even funny but at least he'd be a decent dad to his kid#torture tw#torture cw#ANYWAYS I HAVE 2 DAYS OFF#And I plan to spend them productively#If I don't do at least a couple of responses tomorrow pls kick my ass somebody#There is so much to do and I can't just keep saying I will do it when I don't#Feeling better in all areas though!#Should be semi active at least tomorrow#Housekeeping is paid for snacks are bought
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#i cannot Believe i am having to buy locking boxes to keep my food and belongings in at home#bc my mother (who is also my 'caretaker') (heavy use of air quotations) refuses to stop stealing and/or throwing out all my shit !!!#my food and my clothes and my literal everything#cannot respect boundaries cannot respect me honestly at this point dont think she understand what respect even is#and sure as fuck isnt capable of giving it#so like. fuck my entire existence i guess :-)))))#stole all my food last night yet again#now dont have anything i can have bc im too low on spoons to cook anything#and she ate all my ready-made and microwave options so :-)))) guess i get to starve#bc i cant afford to buy anything#gr8. cool#fuck my entire life truly i cant w this woman anymore#she truly has a mindset of 'everything in this apartment including u as a person belongs to me bc i pay the majority of the rent'#ok go fuck urself actually#u massive fucking bitch#jfc#guess im not a human person bc im disabled and my disability $ isn't enough to live off independently#i'm just like. a fucked up pet u can neglect and abuse however and whenever u want#that's fun.#how about i kill myself#not even exaggerating#shjsshdjdk#jfc i'm DONE#ask to tag#ableism#abuse#idk lmk if i need to tag other stuff#negative#suicide mention
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Mentally ill boy whines again. Solution: Get Out Of There
#im fucking TRYING too as well and it's just constant fucking roadblocks or my body screaming to self sabotage and quit and kill ourselves an#d ruin our body and flay ourselves and repent and beg for forgiveness for being a body of sin like. GOD. I'm so tired of it!!!!! and i can'#even stop it because i csnt change my innner voice or the weird neurotic way kf thinking bc my brain goes '#'its keeping us safe! safe! safesafesafe!' bc of Oh Boohoo you got '''''neglected'''' as a child and had your needs not met' well mommy and#daddy sajd they loved you grow up. you got 'locked in your room' and had your apologies ignored ok well youre making a BIG deal about this#top crying boohoo you got bullied. you and everyone else#and then when I go well no they way i got treated was fucked. growing up poor fucked us up. you can still be loved and raised unstably and#uffer bc of it it becomes a fucking game to my brain to list every single way we Had It Better and therefore cant be suffering and its like#do you fucking hear what youre saying!!!! amd then!!!!!! i go through this fucking ten times a day and wonder why i struggle with feeling l#like a human being#and this doesnt even touch the whole mature for your age becoming kind of a therapist to your parent and hearing their issues and adults off#loadinf onto you and like. man. no fucking wonder i struggle so much with interpersonal relationships om top of everything else i dont have#a personality until I know what the person needs from me!!!!!!
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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gonna vent a little in the tags don't mind me <3
#i feel like i'm a bad person for thinking this#but right now i'm not someone's most important person y'know#i don't exactly have anyone i feel comfortable with to talk to anytime about everything that comes to mind#i have my bestie of course but she's been spending time with her girlfriend a lot and i feel. idk. neglected?#and like... i love my other friends but i don't fully trust them with like sharing my hyperfixations or something like it#i know it's my fault for being so closed off#and i sometimes miss my ex because i was able to tell her everything and i knew she would listen#now i just don't feel important enough and it kinda sucks bc my bpd starts acting up#and i already tried talking to my bestie about my feeling of being neglected#but in the end i get it like. she has a girlfriend and her uni and she's busy#i simply don't feel like i deserve any attention at this point and i'm afraid if i keep this up she'll leave me#i'm not going to die if she leaves but it will hurt. a lot#ughhhhh idk i'm just sad and lonely and i want attention#vent#chr-txt
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