#I just LOVE how L has this tendency to lose his train of thought when N gives him 😍

[lukolabrainrot]

I live here 😍😍

Now yes, Papgate happened shortly after, but why would our PR queen be THIS publicly obvious about her feelings for him by the end of the tour if NOTHING happened between them on the PR tour and they weren't on the same page BTS that they wanted to be with each other 🤔

[dameronology]

you have my number {bucky barnes x reader}

summary: bucky barnes' memory is a little selective, thanks to all the brainwashing - but one thing he'll never forget is his love for you, even if you're a complete & utter pain in the ass. his ass. (based on deja vu by olivia rodigro)

^even tho this fic refers to bucky as having a new gf, the reader is still g.n :)

this is spoiler free! enjoyyy

- jazz xx

Your relationship with Bucky Barnes had been nothing short of a train wreck.

And frankly, that was putting it nicely.

It had been a short & passionate affair; intense and sweet and filled with so much emotion in such high concentrations that you'd both almost drowned in it. For every euphoric moment, there had been one so low that you'd scraped your knees on the ground. Climbing a ladder to heaven whilst simultaneously digging your own graves had taken its toll on you both, and eventually, you had no choice but to go your separate ways. It had been for your own sanity, really.

So there he was, tucked away in a neat little box in your brain, labelled don't touch, ever. Even when you were completely wasted, surrounded by your friends and their respective lovers, you never dared to venture back down that particular memory lane. Forgetting all the bad parts and selectively remembering the good parts was easy enough to do, but you had the common sense to remember why you'd broken up in the first place. Because Bucky Barnes, despite being easy on the eyes and having a charming sense of humour, was a pain in your fucking ass. He managed to press every one of your buttons without even trying and his ability to bring out the best in you was completely and entirely wiped out by his tendency to bring out the worst. That wasn't even getting started on his emotional hold-ups; a can of worms neither of you had dared to open until it became the very reason for your demise.

Six months had passed, and you'd managed to expertly avoid him. You worked different missions and Sam Wilson, god bless his sweet soul, went the extra mile to ensure your paths never crossed in a professional sense. On a personal level, however? That was a little more difficult. New York City felt a lot smaller after your break up. You found yourself occasionally ducking under your hood when you saw him on the F-train, or rushing to cross the road when you saw him coming towards you on the street.

That was when you had the whole city to lose yourself in; streets and shops and little food carts to distract yourself with should you need to. Being confined to the same room for a work party was a different story entirely, and one you didn't want to read. Yet, thanks to some insistence from your boss and a little grovelling from your colleagues, you found yourself rocking up to the former Avengers tower on a Friday night.

"So you do exist outside of your work uniform?" Sam Wilson greeted you with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah - nice to see you too, Wilson."

Despite your initial attempts to elbow him in the rips, he wrestled you off of him and pulled you into a tight hug. Sam was one of your favourite colleagues and oldest friends - he'd witnessed the rise and fall of your relationship with Bucky, and been there for you both during the break-up. That had been an exhausting few days, running between your respective apartments in an attempt to offer emotional support to you both.

"D'you want some champagne?" He asked.

"I'm good, but thank-"

You froze, eyes widening at the sight of James Barnes across the room. He looked quintessentially the same, bar for the fact his hair was a little longer and he had a fresh, pink scar under his left eye. Having ditched his usual attire for a black blazer, he looked good. Annoyingly so, in fact. It made you secretly grateful that you'd chosen to dress up a little more than usual too.

"- on second thoughts." You took the flute of champagne from Sam, also grabbing a shot of vodka from the same trey. It was gone in seconds.

"Need I ask?" Sam gave you a playful frown. His brown eyes followed your gaze over his shoulder, landing on the man you'd been staring at. "Ah. I need not."

"Sorry." You murmured. "We haven't actually spoken since, y'know."

"Since you had a break-up that made Ross and Rachel look good?"

"I don't think Bucky has ever seen Friends." You quipped.

"His loss." Sam shrugged. "You should talk to him."

"Nope." You snorted. "Absolutely not. I don't even know if he's moved on."

"Judging by the pretty blonde on his arm, I think he has," Sam replied. "Would you look at that! They're headed right for us."

That was a lot of information to process at once. You would have needed a week alone for your poor, tired brain to deal with the fact that Bucky had someone else on his arm, and a further three days to big yourself up enough to talk to him. Alas, that was not the case tonight. Instead, you had about five seconds between Sam finishing his sentence and your ex-boyfriend reaching you. It was just as well you found the energy within that timeframe to down your champagne.

You could see the woman on his arm clearer now. To give credit where credit was due, she stunning. She looked like the sort of girl who smelt of strawberries and Chanel, and grew her own vegetables on the fire escape. The kind of person you swore to be with every New Year that came, but quickly ditched after a week, returning to drinking coffee from the Starbucks under your apartment rather than going to the organic, vegan place a few blocks over. There was an ethereal glow about her and fuck. You were mad.

"Sam!" Bucky called out to his friend - for a minute, you thought he was ignoring you, before you realised he genuinely didn't recognise you. Your name rolled off his tongue with a tone of uncertainty, as though he was learning a new language and still learning how to pronounce things. "Wow. You look...different."

"So do you." You shot back. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Katie." He awkwardly smiled. "My...my girlfriend."

"It's nice to meet you." You forced an equally pained grin, taking her hand in a shake.

"How do you and Bucky know each other?" She asked.

"Work." Bucky quickly said. You thinned your eyes at him, almost in disbelief.

"So you're an Avenger like these two?" Katie asked, clearly not picking up on the tension. "That's so cool."

"Not in an official capacity." You replied. "But they'd be fucked without me."

--

The night only got longer from there, really.

There wasn't enough champagne in the world to help the void in your soul. It was a gaping wound that Bucky Barnes had both filled and widened - and tonight, he was doing the latter. It sounded as though him and Katie were having a grand ol' time of it. From the parts of the conversation that you'd actually bothered to listen to, you'd gathered that she'd arrived in New York from London just over three months ago. That meant she had a fucking accent. Of course she did. It made everything she said a thousand times more interesting.

"We were in Paris, in this little cafe. What was it called, babe? Maison de vie?"

"Maison de l'amour, doll." Bucky corrected her. It had only sounded right when he was calling you that.

Your eyes shot up from your drink, immediately staring daggers at them both. The slimy bastard. You had been the one to show him that place. You'd been in Paris for a mission, and after realising it was your four-month anniversary, you'd taken him there for pancakes. It had been a slow morning, filled with hazy eyes and pink skies, and it had ended with him dropping the L-bomb for the first time. The photo you'd taken of Bucky, sat beside a pile of pancakes the same size of him and with whipped cream on his chin, had been your phone background until the day you broke up.

"I've been there." You didn't break away from his gaze, holding cold blue eyes in a trance that he found to be almost suffocating.

"Oh, nice!" Katie beamed. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah." You sniffed. "The company was shit, though."

"Oh, man." She replied. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault." You gave her a sweet smile - to Bucky, it was a look of venom. "So, tell me more about your trip to Paris."

He quickly cleared his throat. "We didn't do much. Just a weekend getaway-"

"- are you forgetting that we saw Billy Joel?" Katie cut him off with a laugh. "The Billy Joel!"

"Right." It looked as though his mouth had gone completely dry.

"He told me he loved me for the first time to Uptown Girl-"

"-excuse me for a moment." You shoved your glass in her hand, before backing away from your little huddle.

Your brain was focused on getting away and only on getting away. The room suddenly felt a thousand times hotter, and a thousand times smaller too, as though the walls were closing in on you. Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if they'd just collapsed around you and swallowed you fucking whole. Anything to get away from this situation.

Making a beeline for the balcony doors, you elbowed them open and stepped outside. The cold air of the rooftop gardens was a welcome contrast to the stuffy indoors, biting, night air hitting your face like an icy hug. The sounds of the city rung below you - sirens and yells and tourists - and tangled into the faint sound of the music, all parts of a world that your brain was working overtime to block out.

You focused on the city instead, using the bright lights of the surrounding buildings to anchor you to reality. None of it really even made sense - you were over Bucky. Had been for a long time. It was just the thought of him doing all the things that he'd done with you, with someone else. It made you feel a little bad for Katie, too.

"I was going to tell you about Billy Joel."

You glanced over your shoulder, giving a derivative snort. "Piss off, Bucky."

"I'm serious." He ignored your demand, cautiously approaching you.

"I brought you those tickets!" You turned around to face him. "We were meant to go together. Billy Joel was our thing."

"We broke up!' He reminded you. "Like I said, I was going to tell you that we went together-"

"- I don't care." You cut him off. "I genuinely don't care."

"That was a lot of storming off for someone who doesn't care."

"Okay, maybe I care a little bit." You huffed, taking a seat on a bench. "It's not even that you're with someone else, it's that you're doing all the things we did. The nicknames, the pancake place, the concert."

"I..." Bucky took a seat beside you, pondering for a moment.

"And declaring your love for someone to Uptown Girl is fucking weird." You muttered.

"Do you have a better suggestion?"

"Vienna, obviously."

"You're such a pain in the ass." Bucky replied. "But for what it's worth, I wasn't thinking of Katie in that moment."

You glanced up at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"D'you remember that morning when we were in New Orleans?" He asked. "And we had a few hours to kill before our flight, so you started dancing around the hotel room to Uptown Girl?"

"I remember." You softly smiled.

"That was when I realised I loved you." He admitted. "I was replaying that in my head at the concert, and it just kinda came out, and Katie heard."

"Damn." You muttered. "Sucks to be her, huh?"

"I like Katie." He said. "Truth be told, doll, I'm still stuck in the past a little bit. With you, and with what we had."

"We fucking hated each other by the end, Buck."

"I know, but I mean all the stuff before that." He explained. "You were the first person who saw me for who I am and not what I've done. The first person that actually made me feel loved and worthy."

"I do try."

He lightly elbowed you "I'm serious. I think I'm just projecting my longing for what we had onto my current relationship."

"You're being painfully honest tonight." You observed. "It's fucking weird."

"Who taught me to be painfully honest?"

"Right." You rolled your eyes. "So this is how Frankenstein felt when he created his monster."

"You're the worst," Bucky muttered. "I genuinely am sorry, though. I shouldn't be recycling our memories. I should make new ones.'

Dusting off your trousers, you stood up. "You're right."

"Thank you, though."

"For what?"

"For finding me first," He replied, "and for teaching me what love is."

"Well, if you ever need to be reminded? You have my number."

[idontblushsrry]

SFW Alphabet|| Megumi Fushiguro

A/N: Uhhhh I’m back on my bullshit >:) it’s missing Fushiguro hours folks.

Word Count: 2050

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

(If you want some more in depth affection headcanons click here)

Fushiguro is someone who isn’t big on pda but makes up for it in private. In public, he’ll hold your hand but in private he’s laying i your lap while you massage his scalp. Basically, he’s a big softie that just represses his urge to cuddle until he’s alone with you.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Best friend Megumi is literally the president of the Y/N defense squad. If anyone has a problem with you, they have a problem with him. Of course, you have to rein him in sometimes and remind him you can fight your own battles, but just know he’s lookin out for you.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Fushiguro loves to cuddle, but he will repress the urge to do so for as long as possible. Because of that, he doesn’t let you go, preferring to cling to you throughout the night. His cuddles are always deceptively loose too. His arms give you just enough wiggle room but the second you try to get up, it’s like fighting two pythons.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I don’t think he ever really planned on settling down, Megumi figured that he’d die long before he ever got the chance to settle down. Everyday is pretty much a new experience in terms of domesticity for him, he doesn’t have plans for the future, but as long as you’re with him, he’ll be happy.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he ever had to break up with someone, he’d probably ask for help on how to do so. The first person he’d ask (regrettably) would be Gojo who’d tell Megumi to just ghost the person. After asking around some more, he figured Kugisaki’s approach of getting it over with as bluntly as possible (although less mean) was the best option.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Megumi isn’t really the type for wedding ceremonies. He’s all about commitment (even though working up to marriage for him is longer than most) but he’s not a fan of being the center of attention, so a wedding ceremony/reception wouldn’t be his thing. If you wanted a ceremony, he’d be willing to compromise somewhat but otherwise, he’s perfectly fine with just going to the courthouse.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s kind of rough around the edges. In private, he can be the sweetest, most tender soul, but in public he’ll put 7 yards of distance between you both if you try to hug him. Basically, he’s very shy, so anything that’ll draw too much attention is a no go (he isn’t opposed to linking pinkies though).

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

At first Megumi really only hugged you when he was missing you, sad, or tired. Over time though, he got better at becoming more open with his affection and he’ll hug you whenever he feels the urge to. Despite that though, his hugs still have an undercurrent of desperation in them. He holds on just as tight each time like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

He’s operating on a very strict ‘If you don’t say it, I won’t’ policy and as such this man will not say a single thing to you unless prompted. He knows deep down that he loves you and that you set off butterflies in his stomach every time you smile, but he never really thought to verbalize that until you say ‘I love you’ first.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

Megumi doesn’t get jealous, he’s fought side by side with you and he knows you’re more than capable of fending off any unwanted suitors. Megumi put a lot of trust into you by already being in a relationship so to him, it makes no sense to be jealous over you. That all being said, he’s not above the occasional side eye if someone’s getting a little too buddy buddy.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

On a normal day, his kisses are so natural, he’s so slow and the pressure is just enough to have you thinking you’ve got all the time in the world. In near death/ post-near death circumstances, he’s a little more feral. When he kisses you like that, it feels like it’s the end of the world and he’s trying to make the most of it.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

Fushiguro isn’t good with kids that aren’t old enough to communicate. Older kids are fine with him, but guessing what a baby needs based on how loud it’s crying? Hard pass for him and he doesn’t even feel bad about it. The last time he had to watch a baby, he tried to leave one of his shikigami to watch it; long  story short, he had to explain to a cackling Gojo why his demon dogs wouldn’t let him leave to go to the bathroom.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Fushiguro are pretty rare. Most of the time you guys don’t really get to sleep in or even spend mornings together since most of the time there’s missions or trainings you’ll have to go to. When you do get the rare morning off, Fushiguro makes the most of it. He sleeps in and doesn’t wake up before 10 no matter what you try. When he does finally wake up, he loves cooking breakfast with you, he’s not the best cook, but he treasures the experience over anything.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Megumi are also rare as most curses come out at night and that’s kinda your guys’ job. If all goes well though, you’ll both come back a little earlier and just go straight to sleep. If it’s a late night where the curse took more out of either of you than expected, yall usually stay up and talk and snack until one of you falls asleep or the sun comes up.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It takes him an extremely long time to open up to you about his past. Not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want you to think less of him for it (especially during his problem child era). To be honest, you probably find out about certain things from other people. Once he’s cornered confronted, he’ll be completely (albeit a bit grudgingly) honest about it.

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

His anger is kind of weird, whereas before, he was a lot quicker to explode, bluntly telling off or even fighting whoever pissed him off, he’s changed. He tries his best to repress his emotions and as such, he comes off as patient, never expressing his true feelings/desires until pushed to the brink. 

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s the king of remembering details you mention in passing. His love language is partially acts of service so for him, remembering details about you helps him later. Oh remember that one time you needed a pen/pencil but didn’t have one? Never again, this man has a section of his shadows dedicated solely to pencils because of you. Oh what’s that, you like this random song? Guess what just got added to the playlist he made for you. Basically, while he may not look like it, he’s actually a simp and so if he can make your life easier/ make you happy, it’s worth it.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

So Megumi is someone who doesn’t play video games but is really good at them for no reason. One day, you’re playing a game of smash bros. and he’s just kicking your ass, like it was sad. Needless to say, after his 4th win, he “accidently” pressed the wrong button and let you win. He thinks you don’t know he did this but when you won, you kissed him and completely flustered him, to the point that he couldn’t play for a solid 5 minutes. 

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Despite knowing and trusting that you can defend yourself, he’s still super protective of you. You’re one of the few people that he cares about in the world and he’d give everything to see you safe and protected. As for how he’d like to be protected, knock some sense into him every once in a while. He has a habit of self sacrificing so if you want to protect him, remind him that you want to keep him alive as much as he wants to keep you alive.

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

On the outside, his dates are very simple. They usually consist of you and him either staying in or just hanging out at stores and the like. Every once in a while, he’ll try to take you somewhere special, like a cove he found or a festival. For most people, these may be simple dates, but Fushiguro puts so much effort into so may aspects of your dates that honestly, anything bigger would lose the personal touch your dates have.

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

One of his worst habits is his self-sacrificing tendencies. Even during a baseball game, he can’t help but sacrifice himself (especially if it means his friends/ you get to get the glory). With time though, he grows out of this and realizes it’s not selfish to want the best for yourself.

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s giving “I woke up like this” and it’s... it’s something. One might think the style is intentional since obviously, the look could only be achieved with gel, and to an extent, it is intentional. He might use gel to spike it a little more but the man legit rolls out of bed and chooses to leave his hair up like that.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No, as much as he loves you, Fushiguro is an introvert. He needs time to just be by himself and unwind every once in a while, so he’s got no complaints if you leave him to his own devices or have to be gone for a long time.

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

Megumi has negative zero relationship experience. He’s never found someone that was worth the risk/ worth opening up to, hell, he just barely got friends when he entered high school. Because of this, every part of your relationship is like navigating uncharted waters.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

He’s less someone to dislike a specific thing/ personality trait, and more someone who doesn’t like different people for different reasons, ex. Todo and Mai. If he had to pick a single trait, it’d probably have to be hypocriticism.

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He is someone who will fall asleep spread eagle one night and the next be huddled into a tiny little section of the bed. Mercy on you if you try to cuddle because now you’re wrapped up into his unconscious acrobatic routine.

[le-desespere]

Fluff alphabet *Hawks*

(I didn't proofread this. Sorry for any mistakes!) <3

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He just loves you. He definitely melts over your mind. You have a very different way of thinking. He never felt a connection with anyone... except for you.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your eyes. He loves them. The shape. The color. Everything. He know the "eyes are the window to the soul" he feels a deep connection when he look into your eyes.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Hawks loves to cuddle. That isn't a secret. He really likes the 'honeymoon hug' position so he can create a little fort with his wings for you both.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Any date with you would make him happy. He specifically like dates where you are at home. Just you two. Maybe watching a movie or just talking. Really fancy restaurant dates are mainly for holidays or special occasions.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He isn't very emotional. By "not very" I mean he is not. He doesn't understand his emotions. The deeper into your relationship, he will be more likely to say how he feels.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

I am very split on this. I feel like he does want kids, he is just is scared. He is rarely home. He also is scared on if he can be enough emotional support to his child. His parents obviously weren't good influences so, he doesn't know how to be a "good" parent. It is honestly up to you. If you want kids he will be up for the challenge! If you don't want kid he is fine as well.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He LOVES giving gifts. If you're sad he will get you the most expensive jewelry that Tiffany's has! It can be rather annoying sometimes. Especially if you simply just need someone to vent to.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

He likes the whole thing. Why hold your hand if he is just going to do it weakly. Fingers have to be fully interlocked. (Also, his hands are always cold.)

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He would skip denial (5 stages of grief) and go straight to anger. If your injury is so bad that you end up in the hospital, he will literally get angry at nurses for getting close to you. Hawks would say something like

-"just let me change the IV!"

The poor nurse would have to be like

-"um... are you a trained professional?"

With enough convincing he would let the nurse do their job. Other than that he is extremely cautious of you. Even if you just scrape your knee he will act as if it was the end of the world.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

YES. If you like humorous guys, he is perfect for you. He is always joking around and laughing. He has a pretty grey humor. He doesn't joke about inappropriate things though, don't worry.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

He likes long and passionate kisses. It kind of depends though.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

I am split between physical touch and gift giving. Gift giving is when you two are really far apart. You will get your favorite flowers and candy in the mail.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Probably your first date. He took you to a restaurant and that was the day he found out that he really likes you. Before you he thought he was incapable of love. He soon realized that he

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you. He can't even think about it. Hawk's loves you alot. He needs so much reassurance that you won't leave him.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

*quirk=habits, not "powers"*

I actually did something with this same concept! One that I very lightly touched on was when he is happy his wings will raise. All his emotions are in his wings. If he is angry, his wings puff out. Scared? They kind of curl around him.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

We all know the classic "baby bird" which I totally agree with he will call you bird pet names... something tells me that he find those to be a bit to cheesy for his liking. I just feel like you would be more likely to call him bird-ish names than he is. If you want him too he definitely will though! Again, he likes to show you off so if he is like

"This is my baby bird"

He will get weird stares. He will most likely call you "baby" "darling" "love"

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Hawk's favorite thing is to be with you. Whether it's cuddling, or just talking. He doesn't have a favorite way to spend time with you.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Female: what makes you beautiful- 1D

"Baby, you light up my world like nobody else"

-ok so imagine you two just jamming out to music then... this song comes on. He will scream it at the top of his lungs while looking you straight in the eyes.

Male: I think he knows- taylor swift

"He got my heartbeat, Skipping down 16th Avenue"

-Truth is, hawks is obsessed with you. Ever since he met you, he has been in a better mood. He literally blushes by just thinking about you!

Non-binary: yellow- coldplay

"Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you"

- you and hawks are sitting at the very top of the city. The only lights are from the bright moon and stars. This song is playing softly in the distance.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He has a lot of secret. He just wants to protect you. That is probably his worst habit. With time he will be more open.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

I would say you knew each other for at least a year before you started dating. At when you met he would flirt alot. It kind of depends on how you handled it. If you flirted as well he would freak out and kind of distance himself from you, until he realized he couldn't be away from you. If you don't flirt back he will continue flirting until you get interested then he freaks out and yeah. The rest is history

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

I also kind of touched on this before. He will get extremely quiet or will explode. He rarely will ever yell though. He has a tendency to just get up and leave. He has a hard time talking about how he feels.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Hawk's loves to show you off. He will be on patrol with one of his hero friends and will be like

"Oh! I haven't showed you they picture that y/n sent to me"

He definitely, 1000% is the type of person to find a way to connect you to every conversation he has. He can be talking to someone about something so random like music for example:

"Yeah, my s/o hates that genre"

the person he is talking to will be like: ??????

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

For the most part, Hawks hates when you fight. Even if you "win" he will still be extremely angry. He can't even imagine losing you, it would hurt too much. If you're a pro-hero he would worry a little

less. He knows you're strong and can handle your own but, you're his love. He needs to know that he can protect you.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

No matter how hard you hide your emotions, he always can read you. The only problem he has is understanding how to help you. Before you, he never really had to empathize with anyone on a personal level.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

I don't see him having a huge proposal. It was probably a spur of the moment. I can only see one of two ways. 1; one of you get badly injured and Hawks realized that he can't bare to lose you. 2; it started as a joke but both of realize that you were both ready.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Wrapping you both in his wings. He knows that in that moment, no one can hurt you.

[realcube]

comfort hcs 💗 feat. overworked! reader

characters: yaku, oikawa, yams & akaashi

trigger warning: swearing

thank you to anon for this sweet request!

morisuke yaku

♡ he has concerned mom energy to i feel like he’d notice that you’re overworking yourself before starts negatively effecting you 

♡ once he figures out that you’re actually stressed and he’s not just being paranoid, he will probably hold an intervention where is like ‘sit down, let’s have a cha--’

♡ but you just push him out the way to grab your coat, ‘sorry, sweetheart. i don’t wanna miss my bus!’

♡ DFRTYJUHG he just stood there like a statue looking at you like (●__●) this bitch-

♡ anyway, once you come back from uni/college/school/ work etc yaku insists that you need to sit down and discuss your problems with him 

♡ then you’re kinda just like ‘what problems?????’

♡ also, after what happened that morning, yaku was not taking ‘no’ as an answer

♡ no matter what you say 

♡ homework? you can do that later

♡ chores? he’ll do them for you if you just listen to him

♡ hungry? you can eat while you listen to him

♡ showering? you smell fine!

♡ so yeah, he will pick you up and carry you to the living room if he has to

♡ he’s probably really serious about the issue bc your feelings aren’t a joke to him but he lined up your favourite plushies on the couch so he could talk to them as a third party when you disagreed with him

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“i study in moderation! and i have not been neglecting our relationship; i just need to focus on my studies!” you tutted, averting your gaze from yaku’s as you thought about his accusation; did he really feel as though you had been taking him for granted? because of course, that wasn’t your intention at all and the more you thought about it, the more you realise that perhaps he was right.

yaku rolled his eyes at your response, quite enraged by your dismissive tendencies but he didn’t want to take his anger out on you so he simply turned to the kiiroitori plush that sat beside him, “duck, do you think (l/n) has been overworking themselves and ignoring both of us?”

kiirotori was forced by yaku’s hand to nod in response.

you snorted slightly before trying to furrow your eyebrows in anger once again, “their name is kiiroitori!” 

tōru oikawa

♡ dsfghjkl ngl he clearly overworks himself too so he wouldn’t even notice 

♡ he’s like ‘oh, you’re spending hours upon hours of a day - losing sleep and energy - to dedicate yourself solely to one thing so you can be perfect at it??? that’s completely normal!’

♡ spoiler alert, it’s not

♡ it’d probably take a third-party to point that what you are both doing isn’t healthy (either iwaizumi or a therapist)

♡ then you’d both look at each other like ⚆_⚆ wut 

♡ anyway recovery time ig ✨

♡ he’d definitely just try distract you whenever he sees you studying/training/practising

♡ forget overwork, he doesn’t even let you work 

♡ oh and y’all have started having ‘lazy days’ once a month where you make it a point to nothing but each other :))

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you both stared at the television, pretending to be absolutely engrossed by jumanji. however, once you let out your fifth sigh that minute, oikawa could tell that you were just as disinterested as he was so he peered over his shoulder to look at you, “this is so boring.” 

you nodded, shuffling closer to him so he could drape his arm around your shoulder and bury his nose into your hair. “it’s so hard to just sit here and do nothing when i know that i have a lot to do, y’know?”

oikawa hummed in agreement, “but it’s nice to finally spend some quality time with you, angel.” he placed a kiss on your temple, scooting awkwardly in his seat before pulling you down to lay down next to him on couch. 

“yeah,” you purred, happily falling onto the soft cushions while in oikawa’s embrace, “i’ve suddenly had a change of heart - i love these lazy days.”

“that was fast.”

tadashi yamaguchi

♡ it would take him a wile to built up the courage to actually express his concern about you overworking yourself

♡ but until then, he’ll show them in more subtle ways

♡ like if he sees you working at your desk - whether your posture is straight or not - he’ll rush up to you and massage your shoulders/back while talking

♡ he always sends you goodnight texts and gets v snappy when you text him in the middle of the night 

♡  ‘tadashi, what did you get for number five on the maths hw?’

♡ if he opens the message and notices that you sent that crazy late at night or the ass crack of dawn, he’ll lose his shit

♡  ‘(Y/N) WHY WERE U UP AT 3AM DOING MATHS HW LITERALLY GO TO SLEEP’

♡ he forces himself to ask you out on dates irl so that if you use work/training/practise etc as an excuse..he can give the puppy eyes 🥺

♡ don’t get me wrong, he’s not manipulative at all but you just overwork yourself so much he think that the teeniest tiniest little bit of fun wouldn’t do you any harm 

♡ he literally cares for you so much and he just wants you to be healthy and happy like is that too much to ask ಥ_ಥ

♡ it would take him 3 months of mental preparation to confront you but he’d do it eventually lol

♡ he’d still be super duper nervous though 👉👈

  ♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“(y/n).” yamaguchi’s soft voice rang quietly through the hallway before he stuck his head inside your room in search for you. he let out a sigh upon noticing that - like always - you were sitting at your desk, drowning in papers of schoolwork. 

he hurriedly approached you, suddenly throwing his arms around your shoulders as he hid his face in the crook of your neck before wailing, “(y/n)! i know it’s none of my business but i just think you work yourself way too hard and i see how sleepy you are all the time and you didn’t even eat the cupcakes i made you because you were too busy studying - i thought you loved my cupcakes!”

your eyes widened at the sudden contact and the string of words yamaguchi was babbling in your ear; but you semi-understood what he was getting at. so you steadily turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and rub his spine reassuringly, “i am so sorry, tadashi. i had no idea i was worrying you.”

he shook his head against the skin of your neck, “it’s fine, i worry about everything.” he joked before changing to a more serious tone, “it’s just that-- i think you should care more about yourself. take some time to relax once and a while, y’know?”

his sweet words resulted in your lips curling to a smile while his arms wrapped securely around your body brought you a much-needed feeling of peace, “alright, i’ll try.”

“good.” yamaguchi chirped, pecking your forehead then positioning his face where it was prior, going back to enjoying the feeling of your soft skin agaist his. “-so, are you gonna eat the cupcakes or”

keiji akaashi 

♡ he overworks himself too

♡ if anything, i think he’d praise you for being ‘hard-working’ at first ‘:)

♡ but once he notices how much you work and how negatively it’s effecting your mental/physical health, he’ll intervene

♡ like yamaguchi, i think he’d start small by subtly doing things to reverse the effects of your stress 

♡ and simultaneously, it kinda helps him too

♡ for example, if you get stress ance, he’ll do a bunch of research on the best skin treatments for it, buy the products then do facemasks with you + create a whole new nightly skincare routine for both of you 

♡ or if your not taking care of yourself properly, he’ll book you both in for a spa appointment 

♡ or if you’re tense, he’ll get you both massages from those professional ppl that make you strip naked

♡ when they make you get your tiddies out, you know they are a professional  masseuse

♡ and he’ll take out on ten times more just to help you relax

♡ also, they’re always slow-paced dates bc like ofc akaashi takes you out to the park/beach for picnics....does he seem the sort of guy to take you bowling?? no.

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed as akaashi brought a spoon up to your lips, looking at you expectantly but you simply whined, “keiji, i should be at home studying right now. you know my exam in 5 months, right?” though akaashi wanted to believe you were joking, the seriousness in your voice made it clear that you genuinely thought 5 months was a short period of time - even considering all the work you’ve already done in preparation for it. 

so akaashi simply shrugged in response, continuing to prod your lip with the spoon until you parted you lips, allowing the pudding he made to enter your mouth. then, he pulled it out lower it to observe your pouty expression for a moment; you were so cute that he couldn’t help but smile softly. 

“i’m sure you’ll do fine, sweetheart. i believe in you.” he said, gripping your waist before placing a tender kiss on your cheek. “for now, let’s enjoy this perfect weather. it only comes around once a year, so why not make the most of it, hm?” 

before you were able to reply, akasshi utilized the hand  the had on your waist to pull you back onto the picnic blanket with him, so you were both looking up at the pale blue sky, decorated with delicate clouds. “what do you see?” he inquired, gesturing up to the shapes the clouds formed.

you snickered, slowly intertwining your finger with his as you examined the sky for any familiar shapes or silhouettes in the sky. “oh!” you exclaimed, lifting your index finger to point to a particular cloud adorning the sky, “that kinda looks like my maths professor in a gallon hat.” 

akaashi snorted, “i have no idea what your maths professor looks like but alright.”

you laughed, lowing your finger but not everting your gaze from the special cloud you spotted, “what about you, babe? what do you see?”

with a moment of hesitation, akaashi immediately replied, “an angel.”

your eyes scanned across the sky for a cloud in the shape on an angel but you simply couldn’t find the one he was referring to, so you whipped your head to the side to see where he was pointing, only notice that his eyes were fixated on you. 

“y-you’re such a simp, keiji.”

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hi! Could you do whole alphabet for Echo too? I'm so inlove with your Rex one. So soft

A/N: Sorry, I couldn’t find a nicer gif of my boy. Also, REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS! These take just as much time as a drabble or one-shot to finish. Spread the love.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Echo pre and post-Citadel is a cuddler.  He cuddles, and talks, and tries to stay awake for as long as he can, because he doesn’t want to lose a second with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your legs. King of looking respectfully whenever you wear something with a short hem line. 

Pre-Citadel, he liked his hands.  They’re steady and true.  Not to mention dexterous fingers which you seemed to appreciate.

Post-Citadel, he likes his eyes.  They’re different from before, a bit paler, sunken, but still undeniably human.  He needs to remind himself of that fact every now and again.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Pre-Citadel, he loved cumming inside you. Nothing felt better than the feeling of his cock buried in your cunt as you milked him for all he was worth. He could stay inside you forever. 

Post-Citadel, cumming on his part isn’t really an option, but he be damned if he doesn’t try to make up for it by having you cum again and again.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Wanted to have a three way with you and Fives.  He wasn’t interested in having sex with Fives, rather he wanted to share you with someone he trusted.  He thought about he and Fives taking turns with you until you were sex drunk and covered in each of their cum.

He’d never dare bring this up with you or Fives.  All the same, even post-Citadel, he still thinks about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not a lot.  He gets nervous around people he’s attracted to and often ends up repeating the last sentence they said on instinct.  Some people find it endearing, but it hasn’t gotten him laid that often.  He’s had sex once, maybe twice before meeting you. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Pre-Citadel, you on top and riding him into the sunset.  Save a horse, ride and ARC Trooper.

Post-Citadel, you laying on your back allowing him a perfect view of your face as he fucks you with a vibrator. Bonus points if you dig your finger nails into his arms until they sting.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s the same both pre and post-Citadel. He puts all his attention on you, but every now something awkward happens. This makes him nervous, which means he rambles and says something that gets you laughing and then him laughing until you’re a mess of giggles. So a sweet balance of tender and silly.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pre-Citadel, pretty close shaven down there.  He generally tries to keep all things neat and titty and that includes his private parts.

Post-Citadel, well there isn’t anything to worry about.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Pre-Citadel, a nice balance of sweet and tender to just for fun. He called you beautiful every time you were together and tried to show how much he cared.  But, there were times when it was just for fun.  A pleasurable way to spend what limited time with you he could.

Post-Citadel, he’s still sweet and loving, but there’s more of an edge there.  A quiet desperation, as if he’s trying to prove something when you’re together.  The praises come more raggedly and a storm of unspoken emotion takes over him.  It’s more intense.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Pre-Citadel, he didn’t do it that often and honestly a little embarrassed when he did. He can’t help but be paranoid he’s brothers will stumble in on him and he knows the ragging he’ll get if they do.  Plus, it feels...well, a little childish when he knows you’re just a phone call away.  At the very least with phone sex, you’re with him in some way.

Post-Citadel, there’s nothing to jack.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Pre-Citadel: Fuck, he loves it when you call him a good boy.  There’s just something about that little endearment that drives him wild especially with you fucking yourself on his cock like you own it.  Add in some hair pulling and biting and he’s lost. 

So, needless to say, total sub.

Post-Citadel: Still likes to be called good boy, but gets a different kind of satisfaction in pinning you to the bed.  Has started experimenting with tying you to the bedpost and finding that he likes it.  Developing some dom tendencies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Pre-Citadel; your apartment on Courscant.  Just a little home away from his brothers, completely your own with no chance of either of you having to do the walk of shame and getting shit for it.

Post-Citadel: same thing, but has expanded to his room on the Marauder.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Pre and Post Citadel; seeing you in a short tight skirt giving him a perfect view of your legs and proper framing of your ass. Pair this off with a few dirty words in his ear and he’s checking the clock every five seconds for his shift to end.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pre-Citadel: Pegging.  You tried it once, he wasn’t into it, moving on.

Post-Citadel: No restraints for him.  Nothing to take away his senses or any kind of agency.  He needs a way out at any given moment.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Pre-Citadel: split right down the middle between giving and receiving.  He was an absolute mess every time you went down on him.  His rambled and groaned and begged until his climax hit him like a train.  He’d be a trembling mess once you were done with him. 

On the other hand, he loved giving. If you decided to ride his face, he was a happy man.  Maybe a little too enthusiastic and messy, but damn if it wasn’t satisfying.

Post-Citadel: It’s all about the giving and his technique has improved considerably.  He has learned how to tease it out, make you squirm and even make a smug remark or two before finally letting you cum. This pacing also will keep him down there for hours.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Pre-Citadel: Fast and enthusiastic.  He wanted to make you feel good, feeling energizing thrill when you were together and that meant wanted to make you cum fast and frequently.

Post-Citadel: He’s more willing to take his time.  He wants to enjoy every second that he can with you and that means slow and steady, absorbing every little twitch and moan your body produces.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Pre-Citadel: More often then you’d think.  He wants to give you what you want, but if you guys ever worked together he feels like he needs to be ready to go at a moments notice.  So that means a lot of quickies in supply closets and empty locker rooms.  It was against regulations, obviously, but he did gets a kind of thrill in breaking the rules with you.

Post-Citadel: Not as much his thing.  He really, really wants to take his time with you and he’s more than willing to wait.  Honestly, seeing you so pent up for him sends it’s own kind of trill down his spine.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Pre and Post-Citadel; He’s willing to experiment.  You guys do your research and properly talk about it before hand, setting boundaries and safe words, if needed.  If there is one thing you guys have always been good at, it’s communicating.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Pre-Citadel: The rounds didn’t last so long (10 to 15 minutes), but he had a great recovery time.  Number of rounds averaged about 2 to 3 per night.

Post-Citadel: Literally as long as you can stand, and maybe a little longer.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Pre and Post Citadel: Plenty of toys and frequently used; vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, cock rings, the works.  If anything post-citadel, the number has expanded.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Pre-Citadel: Terrible at teasing.  Just the worst. Cannot tease to save his life. Needs to give you everything the moment you ask for it.

Post-Citadel: Has learned how to tease and is an asshole about it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Pre and Post-Citadel: Talks a lot during sex.  Rambles about anything and everything that comes to his mind. It’s like a filter has been removed.  It starts as desperate breathy whispers and end with loud declarations and pleading.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Pre-Citadel: He actually considered turning deserter for you.  He never told you or anyone, besides Fives.  But there were moments with you laying quietly in his arms, he wondered what would happen after the war.  He didn’t know if he would have to say in the GAR or if he would be free to leave.  And if he was forced to stay, would he? He couldn’t imagine keeping this up forever; meeting in dark corners, sneaking out to your apartment, as if what you were doing was wrong. If the war ended and the Senate decided to keep them as soldiers, he would leave.  He would leave for you.

Post-Citadel: He still wonders about the war and how it will end.   He wanted to be your husband.  To give you children and a quiet life somewhere warm and safe.  But, given what he was now, normal would never be an option. It eats at him in the dark with you pressed quietly against him.  If he were a selfless man, he’d let you go.  But he won’t.  He can’t. He doesn’t want to.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Pre-Citadel: Standard issue thick clone dick.  Can and will fill you up until you’re bursting at the seams.

Post-Citadel: The dick is gone and the Techno Union did not deem it necessary to get him a replacement one. Technically they do exist, but they’re ridiculously expensive and most won’t sell to Clones.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pre-Citadel: Surprisingly high.  Before he met you, he was convinced he was the horniest virgin in the GAR. So, when you did get together you guys were going at it like rabbits.  Call it years of repression finally letting loose.

Post-Citadel: The drive isn’t what it was, but he still wants to give you pleasure.  More like 2 to 3 times a week as opposed to every night.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pre and Post-Citadel: Can and will stay awake for as long as he can.  Even if you can see his eyes drooping, he’ll force them open for as long as you’re awake, rambling long into the night.  He wants to be with you as long as he can.

[springday-aus]

SVT’s Jeonghan: Love, War and Everything Between || part one

—

Fic Piece Written by: Admin Grandma of @springday-aus​

Moodboard Link: Created by Admin Grandpa

Character Pairing: Y/N [fem. reader] and Seventeen’s Yoon Jeonghan

Other Characters: Nu’est’s Baekho [known as Dongho], Seventeen [Seungcheol and Jisoo, along with idiot squad!Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan], and more to be added along the way!

Genre: historical, romance, drama, royal!au, arranged marriage!au + gender role reversal 

None of this is even remotely historically accurate. This is all purely fiction!

Type: series 

prologue || part 01 || part 02 || part 03 → to be available! check the progress on our upcoming page! 

Word Count: approx. 2.6k 

Plot Summary: Korea’s most distinguished military general arrives home, carrying back glory and honor from the war. However, the general has been revealed to be a woman! Due to the prominent military accomplishments you have made as the highest ranking general, by orders of the Empress, you are arranged to be married to the second-eldest prince, Yoon Jeonghan. Only one problem lies between you two: your reputation as a ruthless killing machine, which scares the living daylights out of your new husband. 

→ Inspired by: the Chinese drama, Oh My General (also known as The General Above I Am Below)

Warnings: graphic violence, glorified war, murder, sexual harassment, sex discrimination (mainly against women), poly-relationships (i.e. concubines), political corruption, and homosexual tendencies

It had taken six months for the final battle to commence, and three full years of ruthless war, before they finally conceded. Needless to say, the new recruits were lucky to be under your jurisdiction. Had they not, the body count would have been much higher. 

Your grip tightens on the rein of your horse, feeling the guilt and anguish wash over you once more of those who have fallen. While it is inevitable to lose soldiers in war, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. 

You take a small breath in, calming yourself once more and settling back into the reality. 

The war had begun in the fall, whereas now, it is well into the summer season. You close your eyes, feeling the sun shine warmly on your skin. Taking another breath in, you open your eyes once more to take in the sights. 

White butterflies dance over the grass, teasing flowers as they move along. The flowers are in full bloom; even the dirt path, which was once wet and muddy, has patches of grass that pop out from the cracks. While you have traveled to many areas, you were never able to take in the sights—well, at least, the less violent ones. 

Ah, war. Politicians may declare war as much as they please, but they have yet to have seen how it destroys the average person—even a general as distinguished as yourself. 

“General?” 

“Yes,” you say. “What’s wrong, Dongho?” 

You don’t look back at him, but you can hear his horse’s footsteps catch up to yours—slowing down to remain a couple of paces behind. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

You smile to yourself. “Rather sentimental.” You turn to him. “When was the last time we ever allowed ourselves to take in nature like this?” 

His smile reflects yours. “I believe it was the last time we had been called to fulfill our duty.” 

You click your tongue, with a disapproved shake of your head. “We need to go on these outings more often.” 

“Well,” Dongho starts. “It’s hard to go on leisurely walks as one of the nation’s most notable figures.” 

“And this is why you’re my second-in-command.” You let out another sigh, a bit longer than the previous one. “It’s hard to roam around with such a large target on your back.” 

“In hindsight, you are very skilled in many areas. Whether it’s swordsmanship, archery, or taekkyon, only a suicidal fool would challenge you.” 

“A suicidal fool, such as yourself?” 

“Yes, General,” he says with a chuckle. “I’m a suicidal fool, who has yet to have learned his lesson.” 

Dongho has been by your side for as long as you can remember. The two of you lived as neighbors, and evidently best friends, for ten years. When your father and brothers died, there was a brief separation period until you turned fourteen—in which you had met again, when you were starting your military training on request of your grandfather. 

Since then, you two trained together, side-by-side in combat for the next twelve years. You rose the ranks together—you as the General and he as the military counselor. 

You hear a groan from your left side. “Are we there yet?” 

“Kim Jisoo,” you call. “You should know by now how long these journeys are.” 

Your bodyguard playfully scowls at you. “Pardon me for being used to having company on these trips.” 

From beside her, Namjoo, your other bodyguard, directs a punch to her sister’s arm. “You speak as if I’m dead.” She makes eye contact with you, before rolling her eyes at her sisters antics. “Father would be upset had he heard your inauspicious words.” 

Lieutenant Kim worked alongside your father and you’re lucky enough to have him by yours as well. He’s like another family member—practically a close uncle, who is more than aware of your peculiar situation. Along with Lieutenant Kim came his two daughters, Jisoo and Namjoo.

Because he spent all of his time in the military, so did they. They learned as he taught and trained the other soldiers, including yourself and Dongho. Then, when the time came, you gave the both of them the bodyguard positions.

Of course there was protest, especially from their male counterparts who wanted their positions. While the Kims had a good laugh, there were also rumors that spread on your part—you had become known as a playboy, who became desperate for female attention while serving in the military.

Eventually, those rumors had been shut down, considering how your military contributions outweighed the gossip that spread due to envious soldiers. Your status easily overpowered theirs (lack thereof) and you dealt with them... accordingly. 

(No one died, but it didn’t mean you didn’t cause some emotional trauma for them. You were nicknamed the Devil for a reason).

But, alas, this is also the root of your predicament. 

“You aren’t the company I was referring to,” Jisoo says. 

“If you’re referring to those pretty boys back at the capitol,” Namjoo says. “You might as well be the dead one.” 

You chuckle at their banter. Jisoo is right (although you would never tell her): it would be nice to have a pretty boy by your side. But, with the current conditions, you know it would only be difficult for him. 

Granted, this would be made a burdensome situation for you as well—the only difference being that you’re made of the tougher materials in life and will not hesitate to kill a man when crossed against. 

Their banter fades into the background, with Dongho attempting to separate the two before the duo of sisters suddenly becomes solo. 

You look up at the bright and clear sky once more, enjoying the moment of peace before the storm strikes. 

It’s been about three days before you determined a stopping point, in order to set up camp for the evening. Your soldiers have been on rotation since then; you figure that they should get a well-needed break. 

You smirk to yourself. The joke’s on them, considering how the lower ranks are the ones who actually set up: the tents, the cots, the fires. 

The sun has already set for the day; the moon shines brightly and the stars twinkle against the evening sky. It’s truly the countryside; in the city, you don’t get sights like these. Too much pollution and such. It only means you and your soldiers still have a long road back to the capitol. 

A long sigh escapes you as you stand outside your tent—naturally, with Namjoo on one side and Jisoo on the other. 

“What’s wrong, General?” Namjoo asks. 

Jisoo turns to you. “Is something bothering you?” 

You let out another sigh. “It’s less of a bother and more of a concern.” 

“What kinds of concerns?” Jisoo asks. “Could we be of any help to you?” 

“Considering we are your protectors,” Namjoo adds with a pointed look. 

“And your best friends,” Jisoo says. 

“Female best friends.” 

You crack a small smile—one that rarely showed during this period. “When do you think…” Your words trail off, trying to find the correct words. “When do you think this charade should be over and done with?” 

Namjoo blinks wordlessly, not seeming to understand your question. 

“What do you mean, General?” Jisoo asks. “Are you referring to…? Possibly…?” 

“When can I fully become (Y/N) rather than just a general?”

“You’re not just a general,” Namjoo says. “You have risen up to become the General. The one who serves and protects your kingdom best.” 

“It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with my accomplishments. I’m proud of them, but I would prefer them to be my own rather than the son of the (Y/L/N) family.” You laugh inwardly at your own words. 

Son. What a joke. 

You did what you’ve had to, but, what was the real cost? The countless men you have killed? The women and children who were left with no one to care for them in this patriarchal society? 

What about your own life? What would life had been like, had your father and brothers not been killed? Would you have been married off to a family as well? Or would you still be in the military, serving with the other soldiers like now? 

There’s a moment of silence and the two struggle to find their words—whereas you’re left again to your own thoughts. 

It’s Jisoo who speaks first. “I want to tell you it would all be okay and things would remain the same.”

“But?” 

“But it won’t.” She tilts her head up, the stars shimmering in her eyes. “Things will be hard and things will be difficult. And, whenever you make that decision, we’ll be right here by your side.” 

Namjoo elbows you with a mischievous smile. “Just as we have always done. We pride yourselves as your protector.” 

Your smile grows. “That’s a relief to hear.” You turn away from them, taking a step back to push back the fabric of your tent to take a step in. “It’s too late to back out anyways.” 

“Too late for what, General?” Jisoo asks. 

Your head turns to her and your smile doesn’t waver. “The letter has already been sent.”

“Your majesty,” the Vice Premier says. “What do you advise us to do now?” 

The King sits at this throne, setting down the newly passed message from General (Y/L/N)—only to come in view with the court. 

While he may not be downright angry, he is well aware of how the court may feel. He is also unsure of what will result in his best military general, especially since the war is not exactly over and done with—considering how King Wu may still hold resentments due to the aftermath. 

He glances at the letter once again, feeling his head throb. Why did you have to choose now of all times? 

Just moments ago, the second messenger from your troops arrived—announcing his arrival and reading the letter aloud for the rest of the court to hear. Upon the King’s request, he had left the letter to the King, still in shock with the present state of affairs. 

General (Y/L/N) is a woman. 

“Your majesty,” Official Chun says, stepping out from his spot. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“It is unacceptable for a woman to be of such a high position, nevertheless a man’s rightful position. I propose we remove and replace the General.” 

Official Lee steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“If I may remind some of us here that we are forever indebted to the General. We continue to be so, considering the current circumstances. While he—” He pauses, before correcting himself. “While she may be a woman, she is of the (Y/L/N) family. Not only have they been loyal to the throne, serving our country for many years, they have made many great sacrifices.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Kwon says. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“Official Lee is correct. We cannot just remove the General.” He pauses, not before glancing at Official Chun and his followers. “The war might be over but we still have to be alert. Allowing her removal is the equivalent of death for our country.” 

Sensing Chun’s anger from the indirect remarks, Official Mae steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“General (Y/L/N) is a woman. A woman with too much power shall be the root our demise.” He glances at the other side, spotting those behind the Vice Premier. “She must be put into her place before she gets too ambitious.” 

Official Song steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“From what we are aware, the (Y/L/N) family does not have any male heirs. Considering the circumstances, we cannot afford to replace her when there are still repercussions of the war to be settled.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Chun starts to say. 

However, the King puts his hand up, pausing the conversation from continuing any further. He has already made his decision: you were to keep your position. Your accomplishments have stacked up, leaving the entire country indebted to you and your trained troops. Your reputation in the military is the most impressive—no one can be compared to you. 

Although, it might be too unsettling for the officials for you to remain in your position. There must be some punishment—some kind of way to appease the court while you can still maintain your position, but not harsh enough for you to refute. 

“General (Y/L/N) is to keep her position,” the King announces. He continues, shutting down any more possible verbal opposition. “Our country is indebted to the General. She has obtained previous territories that have been lost in previous battles and she has won countless wars, including the one we have just won. Replacing her would only lead to our doom and, even then, we have no suitable replacement.” 

Official Jeong steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.”

“I believe that’s a wise decision, as expected from our King.” He swallows apprehensively. “However, we cannot leave her be. After all, she has deceived us—including you. What shall we do with her then?” 

The officials murmur and whispers are passed around. Removal is too drastic for the King, therefore an execution is already off the table. No one seems to have any ideas of a possible punishment. 

That is, anyone from the court. 

While the officials scramble for an idea, the Empress’ eunuch, Eunuch Hak, shuffles himself from her side to the King’s throne. 

There’s a hush that falls over the court officials. 

“The Empress requests an audience,” Eunuch Hak whispers to the King. 

“Accepted.” 

From behind her golden curtain, the Empress lifts herself from her spot and gracefully walks towards the court. Her head is held high with elegance and her footsteps are light—almost as if she’s gliding. The officials bow their heads as she walks between them, no one daring to look up at her. 

She stops in front of the throne, smiling as she looks up at the King. 

“Mother,” he says. “How do you suppose we deal with this predicament?”

“I am proposing a marriage.” 

The whispers start up again, unsure of what the Empress is trying to plan. 

“Your highness,” Official Kwon says. “To whom do you think the General shall be married to?” 

Her smile grows. “I believe that the second nephew is the most suitable candidate.” 

“Second nephew?” 

“She doesn’t mean—”

“The second prince?” 

The King straightens in his seat, intrigued with the idea. “You are proposing a marriage between the most distinguished figure in Korea and Yoon Jeonghan?” He takes a small breath in, leaning back with a cocked eyebrow as he contemplates the idea. 

Official Jeong speaks up once more. “Your highness, can you elaborate more as to how this is a suitable punishment?” 

“If you ask me, it’s explanatory,” Official Chun mumbles under his breath. 

Official Mae smirks at the comment, whispering back. “Prince Yoon is nothing more than a joke to the royal family.” 

The Empress lets out a small sigh, proceeding to pretend as if she didn’t hear the rude comments about her grandson. 

“It’s not about punishment.” she says. “It’s about balance.” Seeing the apprehensive look from the King, she continues. “Jeonghan is rather unorthodox. He spends much of his time dancing at the brothels and admiring artwork rather than martial arts or sports.” 

There’s a murmur of agreement amongst the officials. 

The Empress takes it as a sign to continue. “While he is a healthy man with three lovers, he is still uncommitted and unmarried. If the two were to be married, it can help solve the problems that are occurring for both parties.” 

The King nods silently, but awaits for the court. 

“Your majesty,” Official Kwon says.

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“Her highness makes a good argument. I agree.” He thinks for a moment. “Not only would the General be married off to produce a male heir, but the rumors of Prince Yoon could also settle down once he’s married.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Lee says. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“I agree with her highness and Official Kwon. This is more advantageous on our part,” he says. “I mean no offense when I say this, but Prince Yoon’s reputation is rather…” He pauses. “Unfavorable, at the moment. The General can help with that change and his with hers when the news spread in the villages.” 

“Your majesty,” the Vice Premier says. “Shall we proceed with the marriage then?” 

“Yes, we shall,” the King says with a nod. “From this day, we shall begin the wedding preparations. Once the General arrives back to the capital, Prince Yoon Jeonghan will become her husband.” 

The Empress moves herself to the sidelines as the King stands up, causing the officials to stop in their spots and lower their heads once more. He steps down from his throne, starting his descent down the stairs and onto the path laid out for him. 

The Vice Premier follows him from the right and his majesty’s eunuch, Eunuch Boo, follows him from the left—their conversation continuing in hushed tones. 

The Empress leaves shortly after the King’s departure with Eunuch Hak on one side and Court Lady Nam on the other, leaving the officials with themselves. 

“Court Lady Nam,” she says. “You shall inform Princess Consort Yoon.” 

“Yes, your highness.” 

She turns to her right. “Eunuch Hak.” 

“Yes, your highness?” 

“Begin the wedding preparations.” 

A/N: As always, thanks for reading! Please don’t ask for updates. If you would like status updates, check out the upcoming post we have with upcoming works that will be posted! 

[mistaeq]

I hope u don't mind me requesting again, I just l o v e your writing ^^° but I was wondering if u could do headcanons for Speedwagon(pt1)/Joseph(pt2/Caesar/The pillar men (if u can ^^) with a reader who can morph their body into anything for a specific purpose like if they need to climb they can morph their body for that specific task (if u don't want to u don't have to :D)

Multiple Character Work: s/o who can Morph their Body

TW // none

Thank you for your request and for what you said about my writing! You're a sweetheart :( The Speedwagon HCs look a bit like they're connected, I got inspired :) Enjoy!

Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency Headcanons, neutral!s/o

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

ROBERT E. O. SPEEDWAGON

When you first met Robert, you chose not to say anything about your power.

Speedwagon is a strong man, and living in London's streets - before becoming the rich man he is - is not easy at all. He thinks you're the one who has to be protected.

You've always done a lot for Speedwagon with your power, but he doesn't know. You just care about making him happy.

Unfortunately, after Jonathan dies and Dio isn't defeated, a vampire happens to find you two and attack Robert. Maybe he recognized he was one of the ones who helped the young Joestar.

You never thought this could happen. You had already been enough scared of losing your man when he went away with Jonathan. If hiding your power meant Robert could die, then you couldn't just watch.

When the vampire is about to get him, he closes his eyes in fear, but doesn't move away: he has to protect you. When he opens them back, you two are on a building, climbing out of the vampire's reach. You morphed to pull yourselves up.

"H-Holy shit, y/n... how did you do that...?"

For the first minutes, he doesn't even really care about how did you do that, he's just happy that you're safe, and will kiss you and hold you tight to make sure you're really there.

When you finally explain him your power's abilities, he's shocked. He would immediately call and tell Erina, but it would imply telling her that a vampire is still in London.

You sometimes morph into one of his hat's blades, confusing your enemies when he throws his hat and instead of a little blade, a whole ass person attacks them.

You and Robert form a great team. After he becomes rich, he always tells you that without you and your amazing powers he wouldn't be the man he is.

JOSEPH JOESTAR

When he finds out you can morph into whatever you want, he's amazed.

"Do... do you think we can blend your power with my hamon? Like... you would be a great bridge for the waves..." he talks Lisa Lisa into letting you two train together on this.

You care a lot about your boyfriend, he's always ready to risk it all and you're afraid he'll die one day - we all know Joseph dying is impossible, the bitch will come back from the dead -

Due to this, you're always morphing your arms for them to be longer and being able to hug him multiple times around his body. You sometimes don't even let him move, you know he's gonna do something he's probably gonna regret.

You play with him a lot. You love putting him in awkward situations. The most common is the situation in which you're passionately kissing, but when someone walks in, you morph into a random object, making Joseph look as if he was kissing a radio, or a chair, or a pillow.

You once morphed into water and suprised him while he was taking a bath.

You sometimes tease him by morphing into Caesar's headband. Joseph gets jealous. Like a lot.

That's why he owns a lot of stolen headbands. He could never tell whether you had morphed in one of those or not, so everytime he saw Caesar with a headband, he stole it.

Anyway he's a sucker for your power, all things considered. He'll always brag about how strong his baby is. He covers you with compliments.

"Nice, nice... very nice, y/n-chan."

Joseph Joestar, son of George Joestar and Elizabeth Joestar, grandson of Jonathan Joestar and Erina Joestar-Pendleton asked you to morph into his underwear once and then felt no shame.

When he has to fight against the pillar men, he wants to leave you behind. He wants to be your hero, but you want to go with him.

You're powerful too, and you don't actually want to leave his side. You're too afraid he might come home in a coffin.

CAESAR ANTONIO ZEPPELI

Not gonna lie, he found out you had powers because one day, he tried to kiss you out of excitement when you weren't even dating yet, and you morphed into a flower.

"I must admit am a little taken aback by your behavior, tesoro, you refused a kiss from me, Caesar, but this is amazing. How did you do that?"

He's too flirty, but now he knows how does your power work, and will only flirt with you when you're in public and you won't be able to morph into an object without ordinary people noticing.

He loves playing darts. Even though he's unbrearable sometimes, he'll convince you to help him win against Joseph.

You morphed into Joseph's darts, and would make him lose on purpose by hitting low numbers.

The poor Joseph had never been more confused, but Caesar's laugh made you understand that maybe the young Zeppeli wasn't so bad as a person.

You'll have to use your power to save Caesar's ass from Lisa Lisa a lot.

He gets too distracted when you're around, and when she sees Caesar wasting time, you'll morph into the first object you can come up with, just so Lisa Lisa doesn't think he was flirting again.

Lisa Lisa knows.

But please, don't hide too many times when someone finds you flirting. Not getting in awkward situations is okay, but despite his confidence in himself, if you do it too many times Caesar's self-esteem will be affected.

He'll think you're ashamed of being his girl/boyfriend, so instead of morphing into an object, morph your fear of awkwardness into a smile and maybe into another kiss.

PILLAR MEN [Esidisi, Wamuu, Kars]

As soon as you show your power, Esidisi has a mental breakdown. It just looks too powerful and he grows slightly afraid of you.

He doesn't care that you are you, he knows you're powerful enough to fight against him, but he's also able to regenerate, which you can't.

After your training, if you lose, he'll smirk and tell you that you must win, if you want to get closer to him, considered that you're just a human and the fact that he isn't killing you is generous.

If you win, he'll have another mental breakdown, but afterwards, you'll be able to even sit on his lap.

When you show your power to Wamuu, he gets slightly startled. He recognizes you as really powerful.

He doesn't trust you enough to let you wander around them with those terrifying powers. For this, he'll put his "Wedding Ring" around your heart like he did with Joseph. If one day you'll ever betray him, that ring will break and kill you instantly.

When he uses his technique of the Divine Sandstorm and you morph into the sail of a boat to deal with his power, he can't help but laugh.

Wamuu teases a lot, but he cares about you.

As soon as you show him your power, Kars knows you're made for him.

Such powers are so strong that only the ultimate form of life's wife/husband can have. He's pretty old school - very old -, so if he says you're gonna marry him, you're gonna do it. You don't complain, though.

He doesn't want Esidisi or Wamuu to lay their eyes on you. Kars is possessive. When you're together and they walk in, he usually tells you to morph into an animal. Like a cat. Or a fox.

You're not just a human to him. A human so close to an ultimate form of life themselves is not a human. He wants you to give him children to raise as gods, if you're a woman. If you're not, he'll want to give you his powers, so you'll both live forever like deities.

[ladymiseria]

Smut Alphabet - Hawks

It’s big simpin’ hours for everyone’s favorite bird brain hawk man.  Let’s do itttt

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

-Hawks will wrap you up in his arms and immediately cuddle the shit out of you.  Lots of words of love and affirmation and reassurance and also kisses all over your face.  He needs to make sure you feel safe and comfortable, especially if it was a particularly intense session.

In terms of what he needs/wants, it’s very similar.  He wants to be held and cuddled and fawned over a bit, and he likes to be reassured, as well.

B = Body (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-ASS MAN.  Hawks loves that BOOTY and he is not shy about it.  He’s always touching it, smacking it, or even just ogling it.  He loves slipping his hand in your back pocket when you’re out together and will never pass up an opportunity to fluster you in public by giving your ass a sly squeeze.

Honorable mention is thighs!  God damn, he loves him some soft thighs in every way.

Hawks doesn’t spare much thought when it comes to his own body, except for, unsurprisingly, his wings: they are the key component of his image, after all.  He takes a lot of pride in keeping them clean and smooth.  They’re also incredibly sensitive, so he never lets anyone touch them besides himself and you, of course.  In fact, if you play with his wings juuuuust right, he can get off from that alone.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

-He insists on coming inside (especially if he’s in rut), whether that means downstairs or in your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-Dom the shit out of this man and make him submit to you; he gets off to it super hard.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

-Hawks has always been popular and attractive so sexual encounters have never been difficult for him to come by (no pun intended).  Rest assured that he very much knows what he’s doing.  That said, he’s never had any kind of serious relationship before you, though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

-Hawks is hitting that shit from behind every chance he gets: he needs easy access to that booty obviously

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

-Hawks loves to be goofy and cute and have fun with you in the moment.  He can definitely be serious, too, but he loves teasing and getting to have some sweet, fun sexy times with you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

-Hawks keeps himself clean and trimmed up, especially now that he’s in a serious relationship.  He also always makes it a point to wear the cologne you’d taken a liking to.

Random headcanon: Hawks smells like old leather and dark, warm musky cologne.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

-Hawks is super romantic!  He loves just kissing and caressing every part of you, telling you how much you mean to him, how much he loves you, and how beautiful he thinks you are.  He’s chosen you as his lifelong mate and he’ll never let you forget why.

Outside of the bedroom, Hawks still maintains the romance.  He’s always got a hold on you when you’re out and adores taking you out to eat or on dates to different places.  His more bird-like tendencies also mean that he’s constantly buying trinkets and shiny things for you as tokens of affection.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

-He doesn’t masturbate much anymore (it reminds him of a significantly lonelier time).  He only really indulges if he has to be away from you for longer than usual or if he’s in rut (and you’re not available to help him out).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

-Breeding, bondage, dom/sub, overstimulation, edging, light impact play, pegging, degradation AND praise, wing play (is that even a thing?  It is now, I guess), snowballing, body worship

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

-Honestly?  He’s not super picky.  He’s just as happy to take you in his bed as he is to take you on the roof of a high-rise.  He’s cocky and a bit of an exhibitionist, truth be told, so he doesn’t much care about getting caught.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

-Play with his wings, particularly near the base where they connect to his back.  The small bit of skin between his wings is also incredibly sensitive.

If we’re being honest, it’s not the least bit difficult for you to seduce Hawks: you manage it without even trying a good amount of the time.  That said, some foolproof methods are: making out, neck kisses, give him The Look (I’m sure you know what I mean).

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-Hawks is kinda selfish and possessive so he’s not really willing to share you with anyone else.  He’s also not too keen on hurting you aside from the normal impact play/biting.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

-Hawks is so God damn good at oral.  Like really fucking good.  And he knows it and will weaponize that shit.  He loves giving and how you squirm and moan and pull his hair and grab his wings: he’d eat you every day if you’d let him.  He loves receiving, too, but giving is really where his horny little heart is.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-Hawks doesn’t really have a default pace: it all depends on the situation and he’s exceptionally good at reading the room, so to speak.  The only time he really loses control is during rut when his animal brain takes over and he needs to have you until his body literally gives out.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- Not his go-to, but he can definitely get down with it if it works best for the situation (and with how easily worked up he gets).

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

-Hawks is an open-minded dude, so he’s down to try a lot of shit at least once, especially if you’re really gunning for it.

I touched on this a little earlier, but he’s also not really bothered by the thought of someone catching him messing around with you.  It would just be an opportunity to show off, in his mind.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

-Hawks can go for quite a few rounds (and don’t even think about when he’s in rut because HOO BOY THAT’S A WHOLE OTHER STORY).  He’s the number 2 pro hero so you know his stamina’s top tier.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

-First off, I am firmly in the #peghawks2020 camp so you KNOW he’s gettin’ the strap on the reg.

Anyway, yeah, Hawks can get down with some toys.  He actually likes to use his feathers as toys from time to time, too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-He likes to tease, but not too much.  Frankly, he’s just kind of impatient and gets too worked up himself from the teasing.  You’re cute when you’re flustered, though, and he wouldn’t give up that sight for the world.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

-Boy can get LOUD when he’s really in the zone.  Moans, growls, whimpers, it’s all on the menu.  He’s also prone to making pleased little chirping noises or warbles when you give him affection, complete with some wing twitches for good measure.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

-I have many but I guess I’ll just pick my favorite: Hawks loves to dance with you.  Doesn’t matter what kind, he just can’t get enough of watching your body move and feeling you against him.  He can also feel the vibrations of the music in his feathers and it can be very stimulating.

Dancing also plays into the bird thing as male birds often “dance” in an attempt to seduce a mate, and Hawks is no different.  Sometimes when he’s dancing with you, his wings will flap and puff out like he’s peacocking for you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

-Hawks has been training his body since he was a kid so he is in fantastic shape.  He’s not super tall, but he’s slim while maintaining that good muscle definition.  He’s stronger than he looks.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-It’s HELLA high, y’all, mostly because he’s obsessed with you.  But yeah, he’s almost always in the mood to fool around.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-Hawks gets wiped out after sex and you often have to keep him from passing out right you finish.  He just wants to snuggle up to you and doze off ‘cause he’s so happy and content and comfortable.  Even if he’s in rut, he still needs to be holding you when he’s finally spent and ready for sleep.

[kibonosentoki]

Character sheet.

Full name: Son Gohan Pronunciation: GO-han Nicknames: None Height: 6′0″  Age: 23-31 (he’s really 31 due to him being dead 8 years but his body is still that of a 23-year-old)  Zodiac: Taurus  Languages: Japanese, English, Spanish (pretty much all the dubbed languages I’ve heard I guess)

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

Hair colour: Black/gold when in Super Saiyan Eye colour: Black/Aquamarine when in Super Saiyan Skin tone: Light peach Body type: Athletic, muscular Accent. I don’t think he has any accent or none that I could identify Dominant hand: Right Posture: Tends to keep a fairly tense posture, standing straight, arms crossed in front of his chest or just hanging at his sides. When he’s more relaxed he tends to slouch a bit, seeing how he doesn’t have to be tense and battle-ready. Stretches quite a bit, rolling his shoulders and opening and closing his hands. Tattoos: none. Most noticeable features: His height coupled with his musculature and his serious look tends to be quite the eye-catchers, not to mention his bright orange and blue Gi with the Kanji on the back. In general, he’s noticeable

CHILDHOOD.

Place of birth: 439 East District (Earth) Hometown: East District Birth weight / height:  unknown. Manner of birth: natural. First words: Daddy Siblings: None in the future Parents: Mother: Alive Father: Deceased due to a heart disease Parental involvement: Gohan and his parents are extremely close. He lived a pretty sheltered life although Goku did take him out to meet his friends (Bulma, Krillin and Master Roshi). Gohan and Goku would often go out fishing or simply sparring in their home in Mount Paozu. When Goku died of a heart disease, Gohan took it extremely hard and pushed himself to be more like his father though he’s still relatively close to his mom, doing most of the things he does to keep her safe in place of his father. Gohan absolutely loved his father, looking up to him and turning to him in moments of great need. Not that he didn’t love his mom, he does, he loves her as much as he does his dad. It’s just that Goku was more often than not encouraging Gohan and letting him have a bit more freedom rather than keeping him in the house studying.

ADULT LIFE

Occupation: Fighter, Leader of the Z-Fighters/Dragon Team in the future. Current residence: Capsule Corp in West City. Formerly his home in the East District Close friends: Krillin, Piccolo, Trunks, Bulma Relationship status: Verse dependent. Currently not shipped with anyone Financial status: Well off. Due to Gohan’s maternal grandfather (Ox-King) being rich due to the mountain he lived in. Driver’s license: No, he has no need for a vehicle when he can fly. Criminal record: None.

SEX & ROMANCE.

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Romantic orientation: panromantic / demiromantic. Preferred emotional role: submissive | dominant | switch  |  unsure Preferred sexual role:  submissive |  dominant  |  switch |  sex repulsed Libido: Average. Turn on’s: Deep kisses, heavy touching, some dirty talk, restraints.   Turn off’s: Evil intentions, any blood, defecation, urination during sex…no thanks. general bad vibes. 

Love language: I had to look these up because there are the 5 love languages. Gohan has 3 predominant ones - physical touch, acts of service and quality time. meaning he prefers to spend quality time with his significant other ( than receiving gifts which is another of the 5 ). He loves physical touch and even though it may be odd, he’s the first to go for a hug if he’s close enough to the person (I can see it being the case with Trunks, Bulma and his family) he’s the kind of person that hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Acts of service, well, anything that helps ease his “burden” a little bit goes a long way for him, he really appreciates when someone helps out when he’s tired or doing something else. As for quality time, well, for someone who’s lacked a stable life, spending time with his loved ones is really important and serves to make him relax and forget, even for a bit, that his world is, for lack of a better word, fucked. 

Relationship tendencies: At the beginning, he’s pretty awkward. There’s a wall of lack of confidence and issues that were only made worse by his father dying and him having to step up as the “hero” who had to protect everyone. He’s got anger that’s barely kept in check and when it blows up, it BLOWS UP. But once he’s found his footing and is more comfortable, you’ll see him for who he really is. A tender, caring and helpful guy who only wants the best for everyone he cares about, he’s protective to a fault, he lost his friends because he couldn’t fight back so he uses that as his drive to make sure nothing happens to the ones he loves, he’s the kind of guy who would move heaven and earth to make sure they’re safe. In a relationship, he’s just a pleaser, he wants to make sure his partner has whatever they need including in the bedroom. But due to the way he lost his father and friends, he’s protective to a fault, he’s basically mother hen.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Character’s theme song: He has a few that I’m aware of but THIS and THIS are the ones that first come to mind. 

Hobbies to pass the time: He doesn’t have as much time as he’d like but his main hobbies are Reading/studying, training, sparring with Trunks and, to relax, simply flying around. 

Mental illnesses: Untreated PTSD, nightmares (related to said PTSD) 

Physical illnesses: None (when he was alive and without his left arm he had phantom pain and a bit of trouble with his left eye due to the injuries sustained) 

Left or right-brained: Mix of both? He’s amazing with logic, math and anything scientific but he also thinks out of the box and is creative in combat, probably the Saiyan instincts 

Fears: Being abandoned, losing people he cares for, powerlessness, loneliness. Death Self-confidence level: Low-moderate. He hesitates, he often second-guesses himself and compares himself to his father who, to him, was the strongest man in the universe and he thinks there’s no way he can ever catch up or surpass him (even though for all intents and purposes, Gohan has the potential to be the strongest fighter in the universe due to his endless potential) so he’s effectively held himself back. This gets better as he attained the highest Super Saiyan form and his own power was unlocked, also Goku telling him to have more faith in himself. The doubts are still there but less so. Vulnerabilities: He worries so much for his family and loved ones, they could be used against him or his concern overpowers his rational judgement. His fear of being alone, and his fear/reflex of flinching when lightning strikes.

tagged by: I stole it from my old blog tagging: @starlightbrawler​ , @aisumadoushi​ , @gamenu​ , @saiyanprince​ , @veroxins​ , @vsaiyan​ and anyone that wants to do this! Just say I tagged you!

[lgcmax]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎 ! i’m coming to you with a very late intro, i know, but i swear i’m not usually this unprepared !! anyways, my name is jada, and this is my chaotic baby maxwell “ MAX ” choi ! i love him to death already and can’t wait to start writing with him ! i was here long ago with the short-lived yet beloved zhao chenglei, but life got in the way ! the two are very different, yet i’m even more stoked to be here the second time around & get things going ! i did create him kind of spontaneously, so his plots & bio page is still wip, but you can find his profile here, and some trivia & plot bunnies below ! oh, and LIKE THIS if you’d like to plot, maybe ? i’ll stop talking now, but i hope to hear from you soon !

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 !

first generation canadian who hails from toronto, canada ! a snow baby forever and always, he loved living there and has nothing but good memories there !

he was born maxwell choi, and he’s still called that by family and some old friends, but once he got to middle school he felt the name was too fancy and wasn’t fitting so dropped the “well” and just became MAX !

though he’s canadian, he’s never really felt he was lacking in terms of his korean identity ! both his parents were born and raised there, korean is actually his first language, and he was taught english through school. since he was two he’s been going to korea for the summer to visit his family, too,  so he’s always felt really connected to his culture !

his dad’s a car salesman at his own dealerhsip, and his mom’s an attorney, so he’s lived a really comfortable life. it’s easy to see where his charisma comes from, too ! growing up his dad was more involved in his upbringing, while his mom was on the colder side, so he’s closer to him as he’s the one who was the most loving toward him then and now !

he was expected to take over his dad’s position at the dealership when he was older, but as he grew up he noticed his absolute lack of passion for the career. he thought it fit his dad well, yet couldn’t see him doing something like that !

but during his teenage years he discovered his love for rap ! he always loved listening to it, but when he started rapping along he discovered his true passion.

he didn’t really know what to do with that, however, as it wasn’t a very stable career ! it wasn’t until 2016 when he met someone online through a video game & they became friends that things changed ! they would talk a lot & eventually they introduced him to the world of kpop and ... boom ! everything changed for him. when he realized it wasn’t all girls in frilly skirts ( which hey, wasn’t too bad either ) he found himself being engulfed in this entirely new music genre !

fast forward all the way to 2019, when he auditioned for the company ! it was in january, and there was no way he thought he was gonna make it. they were giving out cds to those who auditioned, and he really just wanted to hear some haru, but it was quite literally the biggest surprise of his life when he got accepted !

his mom was enitrely, and i mean e n t i r e l y, against the idea. she thought a career in the idol industry was fleeting and not profitable and thought it was an embarrassment for him to be apart of. while his father wasn’t thrilled and still has hopes for him to inherit the dealership, he was content seeing his son happy and hoped for his success.

so off max went, to the big city of seoul !! unlike some foreign trainees it wasn’t some great transition for him, in fact he adjusted pretty well ! he had the benefit of being well-travelled and having visited the country often, as well as being comfortable in his korean.

it wasn’t all peaches and roses, however, and he did have some difficulty ! it was the first time he was coming to stay, so he had a tendency to get homestick, and despite everything, he still stuck out. he had a lot of mannerisms, style choices, and just obvious indicators he was a foreigner. he also had to finish off the last semester of his senior year in korea, and he was bummed he missed out on those senior year experiences like graduation, senior parties, and just being with the people he’d grown up with !

whenever he was having trouble, he couldn’t really call home either, since he knew they doubted him and didn’t want to give them any more reason to ! he’s not really the type to share when he’s feeling down, so he really internalized a lot of his emotions at the time, and the bit that he didn’t he confided in with his few friends he’d made by then. definitely a bit of a rough patch for him !

he also may have had some trouble getting along with trainees ! he has a very blunt & extroverted personality, which didn’t really fit with typical korean social norms !

 aside from that, max was a LOT more chill than some of these people. he was passionate about rapping, but some trainees were “debut-or-die” level and he just wasn’t that far ! he’d just kind of look at them like .... why are you making this such a big deal ? i’m just here to have fun ?? so he had a tendency to slack off a lot during the first few months of training and try to bend the rules as much as he could behind the trainer’s backs without getting caught ! which i can imagine would get on some trainee’s nerves.

he does go to university, a condition by his parents for letting him go to korea. he’s a music production major and marketing minor at the moment, but he’s changed his mind quite a few times ! honestly, he’s not all that interested in attending school, but doesn’t have much of a choice and knows it’s an important backup should this whole idol thing not work ! he does enjoy the social life he gets from it, though, because he would’ve had a much harder time adjusting and meeting friends had he not been in school.

now, he’s still pretty sluggish, but after a few company punishments, he’s shaping up and learning how to work harder. he just passed his year anniversary training with the company, and though he has a lot to learn he’s showed promise in his time there !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 !

very extroverted !!! and he always has been. he feels really comfortable and large environments and is the main reason he thrives as an idol ! can and will pick up a conversation with just about anyone, particularly those who aren’t like him but rather on the more introverted spectrum !

like stated before, he doesn’t really like talking about his emotions if they’re personal / negative. it makes him uncomfortable & awkward and thinks it makes everyone else feel that way too, so avoids it like the plague. if he’s emotional with you ... you’re a keeper !

tends to make light out of every scenario, due to his optimistic nature. he has the mentality that life’s too short to be stressed, so does his best to avoid it whenever he gets the chance ! it can be appropriate at times, and sometimes people perceive it as him not taking things seriously, but really he’s trying to make things better !

a little cocky, considering his lack of experience. he kind of thinks he’s the s***, and he honestly could use a little more humility ! but he’s used to being held on this sort of pedestal, and because of it has a looot of confidence a lot of the time !

very loyal, once you befriend him he’s yours for life ! he values trust and longevity in a friendship, so does his all to give it to you. on the other hand, if you lose his trust, things .... get a little disastrous. he isn’t one to forgive something like that and will quite literally block someone out his life if they do break his trust.

on that note ... he’s also very stubborn !! he likes things the way he wants them, and can hold a grudge for years if he wants to. this is one of the exceptions to his “ hakuna matata ” mentality lmao, but he’s working on it ! he used to have trouble accepting criticism from trainers if he didn’t agree with them, but is slowly getting better at listening to feedback in order to improve.

tends to be a little manipulative ! he doesn’t mean to use it maliciously, but it does sometimes go like that. like i said, he’s got that desire to win other’s over to get what he wants like his parents, so ... that can translate into a little deception !

loves loves loves video games !!! will talk about them all day, if you ask. he’s been hooked ever since the first time he got a controller in his hand and is always looking for some new gaming buddies !

has a secret tiktok account that he can’t really publicize but people have to know ?? he just renegades too good not to have some practice folks

he compulsively says “ let’s get it ” and “ boom ” like the joke he is and it’s a problem, really !! someone please call him out or just .... stop him

also !! he is entirely too CLUMSY for his good. he trips over people, trips over his own limbs, trips over a i r !! there’s just no telling with this guy. he’s so stupid when it comes to coordination, i swear, i almost worry he needs to see a doctor lmao !! but thank god for his clumsiness coming in handy at the exact moment he needs to have a little humility.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 !

the friend he played video games with who introduced him to kpop ( see above ) !! they’ve been friends for roughly 3 years now and they’re the reason he even considered pursuing a career as an idol, so i imagine they’ve grown pretty close ! since they played online, this person doesn’t have to be from canada, and really any muse that knew korean or english well enough to communicate back then ! 

are there any canadian muses ?? i’m not sure ! if there is, i’d love to have some childhood friends who he grew up with ! give me all the angst, softness, or romance that you can muster up !! i love a good backstory.

some friends who he spent the summers in korea with ! he visited june through august of every year, and sometimes spent other holiday breaks there. so there’s definitely a chance for them to grow close ! maybe even a short-lived romance where they hadn’t expected to meet again ??

a senior / older trainee who showed max the ropes ! while he knew a good deal about korea he didn’t have a clue about being a trainee, so definitely could’ve used a bit of help there !! unintentionally this person became a sort of parental figure to max, even if they didn’t mean to or if they’re not significantly older ! either way, they were his first real source of support since the move, and nowadays he’s still very close to them and looks to them for any sort of help or advice he needs !

pleeeeease give him a little crush !! he goes out his way to impress those that he likes, and turns into a true softie !! on the other hand, a bitter exes plot or even exes on good terms could be fun too ! can you tell i’m a romantic yet ? 😥

someone who’s entirely put off by the thought of max ! someone who, unlike him, is planned, logical, or very cutthroat and passionate about becoming an idol ! give me someone to nitpick him for his lifestyle, and someone for him to bicker with and just create a little drama !! 

video game buddies !! he doesn’t have the whole setup like he used to back home, but he does nearly always have his switch on him if your muse is in the mood for a little friendly competition !! fair warning .... he does get competitive !

male dorm h and male rookie evening trainee group gang, let’s go !! that’s a lot to say, but in simple terms, if your muse trains or dorms with him let’s get something going ! max is still a new trainee and needs some friends to spend the long days with, he promises to  make it worth their while !! max has the power of making nearly every scenario entertaining, after all !

[nat-20s]

Top 5 Breakdowns over David Tennant- any fandom/show/ play you've seen? I really liked the dw one you did, just hoping you could expand over/ include other things he's been in.

Oh anon you are QUITE the enabler thank you.

So this is like half actual breakdown list and half just like David Tennant recommendations in general because I love that funky little scot.

+1. This isn’t going on the official list because I already did the previous list you mentioned (i’m glad you liked it, btw!!!) but yeah. Doctor Who. He plays the doctor in a very fuckin uhh mercutial way (he plays a lot of characters that way and I am 100% enamored by it every fuckin time he just does it SO WELL AUGH) and like highs were so high and the lows were so low and he was so FURIOUS AND CRUEL but also so GENTLE AND KIND and like oof!! The multifacetedness bitch!!!! That’s what it’s all about babey!!!

5. Good omens. I mean, duh. There was no fucking way I was gonna survive good omens. Like, honestly, even without miss tennant I wouldn’t have survived it because HA HA HA HA H O L Y SHIT MY FAVORITE BOOK FOR THE LAST DECADE WAS GETTING AN ACTUAL SCREEN ADAPTATION I GENUINELY DID NOT THINK WE WOULD EVER BE HERE THIS SHIT IS LIT. but then but THEN it was like. The way that he portrayed crowley definitely fit into a particular niche that david tennant KILLS. Like god okay I could spend an whole fucking essay on this point so I’m gonna distill this down to just. THE moment that I was like “okay okay okay okay fuck I’m GOING THROUGH IT” was when his voice cracks as he tells aziraphale that he lost his best friend because like in context OOF and out of context I have been Pavlovian trained for the past decade to Utterly Lose My Shit when David Tennant is like this close to crying and he expresses that with his whole body THE ASSHOLE! LET ME REST. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS MISTER!!

4. The Escape Artist. Lesser known (I think?), but a VERY GOOD miniseries! The tone is much darker, and he’s a much more serious character. Similar vibes, role wise, to broadchurch. I’m not sure how much rewatch value it has but watching it for the first time had me like MISSION STATUS: SICK!!!! It’s like a cat and mouse mystery and like. I’m not gonna go to in depth into the story because I think it’s more enjoyable to go into it not knowing much and too me it was one of those things that took like 3 hours to watch all of and a full week or two to like. Process. Also I’m not usually one for drama and I was ABOUT it so I would recommend!!!

3. JESSICA JONES (season 1). Holy FUCK dude. Definitely his darkest and most evil role, and the subject matter is VERY heavy and I definitely would NOT recommend it for everyone because it could be, how you say, triggering as fuck or even just because it is incredibly dark and that might not be your thing. Funnily enough, it’s DEFINITELY not my thing, personally, I tend to avoid narratives about sexual assault because so many of them are, uh, ya know, bad, but Jessica Jones season 1 really is done FANTASTICALLY! The David Tennant breakdown was just a level of cognitive dissonance because I had never seen him play like a VILLAIN villain. I mean, yeah, he was Barty Crouch Jr., but that was for like 30 seconds and while the dude was creepy there was a layer of campy over the topness that is present in most fun fantasy franchises. I remember when he was cast as the purple man me and my parents were like. Yeah he’ll obviously crush the role because he’s talented but in the back of our minds we’ll probably still be thinking of like the doctor and I wonder if we can fully accept him playing the role. Yeah there was fucking NONE OF THAT. When he played Purple Man I never ONCE thought of his other roles and I didn’t even, like, think of David Tennant, ya know. I was just like oh shit this man is evil and terrifying and I want him dead! Please die!!! And yes, I know that that’s how acting works or whatever but also ACTING ya know!!! Of any of the roles on this list this one definitely made me be the most like SHE HAS THE RANGE because I really think it highlights how INCREDIBLY GOOD at his job he is!!! I have not ever rewatched Jessica Jones season 1 though because while it is honestly like a triumph of television it is also A Lot to deal with and I am very rarely in the kind of mindset where I’m able to watch it. But yeah. David Tennant knows what the fuck he’s doing and it is very good.

2. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING BABEY. Literally I knew nothing about the play or why I should care but the promo material was like. Catherine Tate and David Tennant are costars again and I was like OKAY SIGN ME THE FUCK UP HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH. For real I think on screen chemistry Catherine Tate and David Tennant are one of if not just straight up my favorite duo of all time. They are just so DELIGHTFUL and ENCHANTING and BEWITCHING and basically I want them to costar in everything ever. @azirafeathers was like “sherlock holmes adaptation where she’s sherlock and he’s watson” and I haven’t stopped thinking about that since!!! I would give my left thumb or at least like a solid $60 to see that. Like PLEASE it would be PERFECT. I LOVE THEM. And god this production of much ado is definitely like. “Here’s Benedick and Beatrice. They’re two chaotic dumbass bisexuals that are like fives on the kinsey scale and they fall in love much to their surprise” and it’s TERRIFIC. That’s exactly what I like to see. Like it’s set in the 80s and the set design? The visual gags? The costumes? The soundtrack? THE PHYSICAL COMEDY? It all SLAPS. David Tennant really balances “fun and funky slut” and “utterly PINING idiot” so fucking well. I have said it before and I will say it again David Tennant peaks when Catherine Tate is being mean to him. Also really iconic to give him the role that is like the only man in the play that is (after a bit) CHUGGING his respect women juice. I mean LOOK at this utter buffoon.

I’m in love. This play made me a proud morosexual. Plus it’s all FREE ON YOUTUBE THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE THREE HOURS AND WANT TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKIN TIME GO WATCH MUCH ADO!!

1. H A M L E T. So imagine that you’re 14 and it’s 3 am and you’re casually watching David Tennant’s hamlet on youtube or at least the parts they put up and you’re painting stars on your ceiling with glow in the dark paint and it makes you realize that you have an excess of black bile and a melancholic temperment and you’ll understand why, while this might not be my all time favorite david tennant role (though it definitely is high up on the list) , this is absolutely my number one David Tennant Related Breakdown. Hoo boy. This probably doesn’t come as a shock to literally anybody that knows me irl bc I Will Not shut up about Hamlet and it is this productions fault. Different people will respond differently too it, and I’m definitely 1000% biased because a: I love him and b: it was the first production I ever watched and it’s what got me On My Bullshit, but this production honestly makes me like. Get Hamlet. Or not get hamlet, personally, as a character, we’re never meant to fully understand him honestly, but it made me understand the ALLURE of the play. I watched it and I was like oh. Yeah. Okay. I can see why people have been obsessed with this for 400 years. I know why it’s considered one of the greatest roles and one of the greatest plays of all time. And I went absolutely feral for it. It solidified Horatio permanently as one of my all time favorite characters in anything ever. David Tennant has this tendency to put manic and desperate energy into the characters that he plays, and that of course works extremely well for hamlet. Plus, like, he plays characters that are drowning, that need the assistance and kindness of love to try and float, and even with that might not be able to keep their heads above water, and the characters that are opposite him are basically always wonderful. Because I am deeply deeply predictable, the core dynamic of Hamlet and Horatio’s relationship is probably like THE most appealing and interesting and important aspect of the play to me, and Peter de Jersey (who is absolutely INCREDIBLE in this production) and David Tennant pull it of breathtakingly beautifully. Every time I watch this I have to lie down for a while. Every time I THINK about this I have to lie down for awhile. So, yeah, number one David Tennant based breakdown is over his hamlet.

Honorable mentions

this gifset-I have not seen what this is actually from but it made me have a conniption. I’m in love with her. She’s my idealized self. I don’t know what to do with myself. I spent 5 hours looking at this now. What the fuck. 

The Decoy Bride- I didn’t have a breakdown over it BUT it is a recommendation. Very silly rom com, very much a comfort movie like music and lyrics or singing in the rain for me. Great for sleep overs or rainy sunday afternoons. 

Richard II- I haven’t seen it but based on one (1) clip and some stills I would be lost in the sauce for a week after a viewing. 

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger- watch nativity 2 danger in the manger. 

Fright Night- jesus fucking CHRIST mister tennant went full slut

Casanova- Mister Tennant Goes Full Slut part 2- has blue colored contacts and it’s weird

[alertreadingquotes]

The Psychology of Human Misjudgment

“ I was aware that man was a "social animal," greatly and automatically influenced by behavior he observed in men around him. I also knew that man lived, like barnyard animals and monkeys, in limited size dominance hierarchies, wherein he tended to respect authority and to like and cooperate with his own hierarchy members while displaying considerable distrust and dislike for competing men nor in his own hierarchy.“

“ First, I had long looked for insight by inversion in the intense manner counseled by the great algebraist, Jacobi: "Invert, always invert." I sought good judgment mostly by collecting instances of bad judgment, then pondering ways to avoid such outcomes“

“ And I was dubious of any approach that, when two things were inextricably intertwined and interconnected, would try and think about one thing but not the other. I was afraid, if I tried any such restricted approach, that I would end up, in the immortal words of John L. Lewis, "with no brain at all, just a neck that had haired over.“

“ Psychological tendencies tend to be both numerous and inseparably intertwined, now and forever, as they interplay in life“

“ And Harvard's great E.O. Wilson performed one of the best psychology experiments ever done when he painted dead-ant pheromone on a live ant. Quite naturally, the other ants dragged this useful live ant out of the hive even though it kicked and otherwise protested throughout the entire process. Such is the brain of the ant. It has a simple program of responses that generally work out all right, but which are imprudently used by rote in many cases. Another type of ant demonstrates that the limited brain of ants can be misled by circumstances as well as by clever manipulation from other creatures. The brain of this ant contains a simple behavioral program that directs the ant, when walking, to follow the ant ahead. And when these ants stumble into walking in a big circle, they sometimes walk round and round until they perish. It seems obvious. to me at least. that the human brain must often operate counterproductively just like the ant's, from unavoidable oversimplicity in its mental process, albeit usually in trying to solve problems more difficult than those faced by ants that don't have to design airplanes. The perception system of man clearly demonstrates just such an unfortunate outcome. Man is easily fooled, either by the cleverly thought out manipulation of man, by circumstances occurring by accident, or by very effective manipulation practices that man has stumbled into during "practice evolution" and kept in place because they work so well. One such outcome is caused by a quantum effect in human perception. If stimulus is kept below a certain level, it does not get through.“

“And even when perception does get through to man's brain, it is often misweighted, because what is registered in perception is in shockingness of apparent contrast, not the standard scientific units that make possible science and good engineering.” “Some psychology professors like to demonstrate the inadequacy of contrast-based perception by having students put one hand in a bucker of hot water and one hand in a bucket of cold warer. They are then suddenly asked to remove both hands and place them in a single bucket of room temperature water. Now, with both hands in the same water, one hand feels as if it has just been put in cold water and the other hand feels as if it has just been placed in hot water. When one thus sees perception so easily fooled by mere contrast, where a simple temperature gauge would make no error, and realizes that cognition mimics perception in being misled by mere contrast, he is well on the way toward understanding, not only how magicians fool one, but also how life will fool one.“

“The natural consequence of this profusion of tendencies is the grand general principle of social psychology: cognition is ordinarily situation-dependent so that different situations often cause different conclusions, even when the same person is thinking in the same general subject area.“

---

One: Reward and Punishment Superresponse Tendency

“Never, ever, think about something else when you should be thinking about the power of incentives.“

“ He demonstrated again and again a great recurring, generalized behavioral algorithm in nature: "Repeat behavior that works." He also demonstrated that prompt rewards worked much better than delayed rewards in changing and maintaining behavior. And, once his rats and pigeons had conditioned reflexes, caused by food rewards, he found what withdrawal pattern of rewards kept the reflexive behavior longest in place: random distribution“

“One of the most important consequences of incentive superpower is what I call "incentive caused bias." A man has an acculturated nature making him a pretty decent fellow, and yet, driven both consciously and subconsciously by incentives, he drifts into immoral behavior in order to get what he wants, a result he facilitates by rationalizing his bad behavior, like the salesmen at Xerox who harmed customers in order to maximize their sales commissions. “

“Widespread incentive-caused bias requires that one should often distrust, or take with a grain of salt, the advice of one's professional advisor, even if he is an engineer. The general antidotes here are: (1) especially fear professional advice when it is especially good for the advisor; (2)learn and use the basic elements of your advisor's trade as you deal with your advisor; and (3) double check, disbelieve, or replace much of what you're told, to the degree that seems appropriate after objective thought.“

“ One implication is that people who create things like cash registers, which make dishonest behavior hard to accomplish, are some of the effective saints of our civilization because, as Skinner so well knew, bad behavior is intensely habit-forming when it is rewarded“

“'The strong tendency of employees to rationalize bad conduct in order to get rewards requires many antidotes in addition to the good cash control promoted by Patterson. Perhaps the most important of these antidotes is use of sound accounting theory and practice“

“ For instance, economists, speaking from the employer's point of view, have long had a name for the natural results of incentive-caused bias: "agency cost." As the name implies, the economists have typically known that, just as grain is always lost to rats, employers always lose to employees who improperly think of themselves first. Employer installed antidotes include tough internal audit systems and severe public punishment for identified miscreants, as well as misbehavior-preventing routines and such machines as cash registers“

“The inevitable ubiquity of incentive-caused bias has vast, generalized consequences. For instance, a sales force living only on commissions will be much harder to keep moral than one under less pressure from the compensation arrangement. On the other hand, a purely commissioned salesforce may well be more efficient per dollar spent. Therefore, difficult decisions involving trade-offs are common in creating compensation arrangements in the sales function.“

“Another generalized consequence of incentive caused bias is that man tends to "game" all human systems, often displaying great ingenuity in wrongly serving himself at the expense of others. Anti gaming features, therefore, constitute a huge and necessary part of almost all system design. Also needed in system design is an admonition: Dread, and avoid as much you can, rewarding people for what can be easily faked“

“Of course, money is now the main reward that drives habits. A monkey can be trained to seek and work for an intrinsically worthless token, as if it were a banana, if the token is routinely exchangeable for a banana“

---

Two: Liking/Loving Tendency

“One very practical consequence of Liking/ Loving Tendency is that it acts as a conditioning device that makes the liker or lover tend (1) to ignore faults of and comply with wishes of, the object of his affection, (2) to favor people, products, and actions merely associated with the object of his affection (as we shall see when we get to "Influence-from-Mere Association Tendency," and (3) to distort other facts to facilitate love. The phenomenon of liking and loving causing admiration also works in reverse. Admiration also causes or intensifies liking or love. With this "feedback mode" in place, the consequences are often extreme, sometimes even causing deliberate self-destruction to help what is loved.“

“There are large social policy implications in the amazingly good consequences that ordinarily come from people likely to trigger extremes of love and admiration boosting each other in a feedback mode. F or instance, it is obviously desirable ro attracr a lot of lovable, admirable people into the reaching profession. “

---

Three: Disliking/HatingTendency

“In a pattern obverse to Liking/Loving Tendency, the newly arrived human is also "born to dislike and hate" as triggered by normal and abnormal triggering forces in its life“ “Disliking/Hating Tendency also acts as a conditioning device that makes the dislike /hater tend to (1) ignore virtues in the object of dislike, (2) dislike people, products, and actions merely associated with the object of his dislike, and (3) distort other facts to facilitate hatred.““Such factual distortions often make mediation between opponents locked in hatred either difficult or impossible“ ---

Four: Doubt-Avoidance Tendency “The brain of man is programmed with a tendency to quickly remove doubt by reaching some decision“

“ what usually triggers Doubt-Avoidance Tendency is some combination of (1) puzzlement and (2) stress. And both of these factors naturally occur in facing religious issues. Thus, the natural state of most men is in some form of religion. And this is what we observe.“

---

Five: Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency

“The brain of man conserves programming space by being reluctant to change, which is a form of inconsistency avoidance. We see this in all human habits, constructive and destructive”

“Also tending to be maintained in place by the anti-change tendency of the brain are one's previous conclusions, human loyalties, reputational identity, commitments, accepted role in a civilization, etc. It is not entirely clear why evolution would program into man's brain an anti-change mode alongside his tendency to quickly remove doubt“

“ Similarly, other modern decision makers will often force groups to consider skillful counterarguments before making decisions. And proper education is one long exercise in augmentation of high cognition so that our wisdom becomes strong enough to destroy wrong thinking maintained by resistance to change“

“One of the most successful users of an antidote to first conclusion bias was Charles Darwin. He trained himself, early, to intensively consider any evidence tending to disconfirm any hypothesis of his, more so if he thought his hypothesis was a particularly good one. The opposite of what Darwin did is now called confirmation bias, a term of opprobrium“

“Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency has many good effects in civilization. For instance, rather than act inconsistently with public commitments, new or old public identities, etc., most people are more loyal in their roles in life as priests, physicians, citizens, soldiers, spouses, teachers, employees, etc. 

One corollary of Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency is that a person making big sacrifices in the course of assuming a new identity will intensify his devotion to the new identity. After all, it would be quite inconsistent behavior to make a large sacrifice for something that was no good“

“Moreover, the tendency will often make man a "patsy" of manipulative "compliance-practitioners," who gain advantage from triggering his subconscious Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency“

For example, Ben Franklin raised subconscious regard of himself in the ranks of great men by first getting them to lend him a book. Triggering inconsistency in action with disregarding him.

“ When one is maneuvered into deliberately hurting some other person, one will tend to disapprove or even hate that person. This effect, from Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency, accounts for the insight implicit in the saying: "A man never forgets where he has buried the hatchet.”

“While Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency, with its "status quo bias," immensely harms sound education. it also causes much benefit. For instance, a near-ultimate inconsistency would be to teach something to others that one did not believe true....  Of course, the power of teaching to influence the cognition of the teacher is not always a benefit to society. When such power flows into political and cult evangelism, there are often bad consequences.“

--- Six: Curiosity Tendency

Man’s innate curiosity greatly enhances the ability to advance knowledge.

---

Seven: Kantian Fairness Tendency 

“Kant was famous for his "categorical imperative," a sort of a "golden rule" that required humans to follow those behavior patterns that, if followed by all others, would make the surrounding human system work best for everybody. And it is not too much to say that modern acculturated man displays, and expects from others, a lot of fairness as thus defined by Kant.”

“Also, strangers often voluntarily share equally in unexpected, unearned good and bad fortune. And, as an obverse consequence of such "fair-sharing" conduct, much reactive hostility occurs when fair sharing is expected yet not provided.“

--- Eight: Envy/Jealousy Tendency 

“Envy/jealousy is extreme in myth, religion, and literature wherein, in account after account, it triggers hatred and injury. It was regarded as so pernicious by the Jews of the civilization that preceded Christ that it was forbidden, by phrase after phrase, in the laws of Moses“

“Non discussion of envy/jealousy is not a phenomenon confined to psychology texts. When did any of you last engage in any large group discussion of some issue wherein adult envy/jealousy was identified as the cause of someone's argument? There seems to be a general taboo against any such claim. If so, what accounts for the taboo? My guess is that people widely and generally sense that labeling some position as driven by envy/ jealousy will be regarded as extremely insulting to the position taker, possibly more so when the diagnosis is correct than when it is wrong.”

--- Nine: Reciprocation Tendency 

“The automatic tendency of humans to reciprocate both favors and disfavors has long been noticed as extreme, as it is in apes, monkeys, dogs, and many less cognitively gifted animals. The tendency clearly facilitates group cooperation for the benefit of members. In this respect, it mimics much genetic programming of the social insects.“

“The standard antidote to one's overactive hostility is to train oneself to defer reaction. As my smart friend Tom Murphy so frequently says, "You can always tell the man off tomorrow if it is such a good idea.“

“ reciprocate-favor tendency operates to a very considerable degree at a subconscious level. This helps make the tendency a strong force that can sometimes be used by some men to mislead others, which happens all the time“

“Wise employers, therefore, try to oppose reciprocate-favor tendencies of employees engaged in purchasing. The simplest antidote works best: Don't let them accept any favors from vendors“

“And the very best part of human life probably lies in relationships of affection wherein parties are more interested in pleasing than being pleased-a not uncommon outcome in display of reciprocate favor tendency. 

… Before we leave reciprocate-favor tendency, the final phenomenon we will consider is widespread human misery from feelings of guilt. To the extent the feeling of guilt has an evolutionary base, I believe the most plausible cause is the mental conflict triggered in one direction by reciprocate favor tendency and in the opposite direction by reward superresponse tendency pushing one to enjoy one hundred percent of some good thing“

---

Ten: Influence-from-Mere-Association Tendency 

“Some of the most important miscalculations come from what is accidentally associated with one's past success, or one's liking and loving, or one's disliking and hating, which includes a natural hatred for bad news.”

“The proper antidotes to being made such a patsy by past success are (1) to carefully examine each past success, looking for accidental, non causative factors associated with such success that will tend to mislead as one appraises odds implicit in a proposed new undertaking and (2) to look for dangerous aspects of the new undertaking that were not present when past success occurred.“

“People disagree about how much blindness should accompany the association called love. In Poor Richard's Almanack Franklin counseled: "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut thereafter." Perhaps this "eyes-half-shut" solution is about right, but I favor a tougher prescription: "See it like it is and love anyway.“

“Hating and disliking also cause miscalculation triggered by mere association. In business, I commonly see people underappraise both the competency and morals of competitors they dislike. This is a dangerous practice, usually disguised because it occurs on a subconscious basis. Another common bad effect from the mere association of a person and a hated outcome is displayed in "Persian Messenger Syndrome.“

“It is actually dangerous in many careers to be a carrier of unwelcome news“

“The proper antidote to creating Persian Messenger Syndrome and its bad effects, like those at CBS, is to develop, through exercise of will, a habit of welcoming bad news. At Berkshire, there is a common injunction: "Always tell us the bad news promptly. It is only the good news that can wait." It also helps to be so wise and informed that people fear not telling you bad news because you are so likely to get it elsewhere.“

“Influence-from-Mere-Association Tendency often has a shocking effect that helps swamp the normal tendency to return favor for favor. Sometimes, when one receives a favor, his condition is unpleasant, due to poverty, sickness, subjugation, or something else. In addition, the favor may trigger an envy-driven dislike for the person who was in so favorable a state that he could easily be a favor giver. Under such circumstances, the favor receiver, prompted partly by mere association of the favor giver with past pain, will not only dislike the man who helped him but also try to injure him.“

“A final serious clump of bad thinking caused by mere association lies in the common use of classification stereotypes“

“ Pete's antidote is not to believe that, on average, ninety-year-olds think as well as forty year-olds or that there are as many females as males among Ph. D.'s in math. Instead, just as he must learn that trend does not always correctly predict“

“destiny, he must learn that the average dimension in some group will not reliably guide him to the dimension of some specific item . Otherwise Pete will make many errors, like that of the fellow who drowned in a river that averaged out only eighteen inches deep.”

---

Eleven: Simple, Pain-Avoiding Psychological Denial 

“That's Simple, Pain-Avoiding Psychological Denial. The reality is too painful to bear, so one distorts the facts until they become bearable. We all do that to some extent, often causing terrible problems. The tendency's most extreme outcomes are usually mixed up with love, death, and chemical dependency.“

“ some people hope to leave life hewing to the iron prescription, "It is not necessary to hope in order to persevere." And there is something admirable in anyone able to do this.“

“.One should stay far away from any conduct at all likely to drift into chemical dependency. Even a small chance of suffering so great a damage should be avoided.”

--- Twelve: Excessive Self-Regard Tendency

“There is a name in psychology for this overappraise-your-own-possessions phenomenon: the "endowment effect." And all man's decisions are suddenly regarded by him as better than would have been the case just before he made them. Man's excess of self-regard typically makes him strongly prefer people like himself“

“Given this quality in psychological nature, cliquish groups of similar persons will always be a very influential part of human culture, even after we wisely try to dampen the worst effects. ”

“Intensify man's love of his own conclusions by adding the possessory wallop from the "endowment effect," and you will find that a man who has already bought a pork-belly future on a commodity exchange now foolishly believes, even more strongly than before, in the merits of his speculative bet.“

“More counterproductive yet are man's appraisals, typically excessive, of the quality of the future service he is to provide to his business. His overappraisal of these prospective contributions will frequently cause disaster. Excesses of self-regard often cause bad hiring decisions because employers grossly overappraise the worth of their own conclusions that rely on impressions in face-to-face contact. The correct antidote to this sort of folly is to underweigh face to-face impressions and overweigh the applicant's past record.“

“On the personal level a man should try to face the two simple facts: (1) fixable but unfixed bad performance is bad character and tends to create more of itself, causing more damage to the excuse giver with each tolerated instance, and (2) in demanding places, like athletic teams and General Electric, you are almost sure to be discarded in due course if you keep giving excuses instead of behaving as you should. The main institutional antidotes to this part of the "Tolstoy effect" are (1) a fair, meritocratic, demanding culture plus personnel handling methods that build up morale and (2) severance of the worst offenders. “

“The best antidote to folly from an excess of self-regard is to force yourself to be more objective when you are thinking about yourself, your family and friends, your property, and the value of your past and future activity. This  sn't easy to do well and won't work perfectly, but it will work much better than simply letting psychological nature take its normal course.“

“Of all forms of useful pride, perhaps the most desirable is a justified pride in being trustworthy. Moreover, the trustworthy man, even after allowing for the inconveniences of his chosen course, ordinarily has a life that averages our better than he would have if he provided less reliability.“

--- Thirteen: Overoptimism Tendency

“Demosthenes, the most famous Greek orator, said. "What a man wishes, that also will he believe.“

“One standard antidote to foolish optimism is trained, habitual use of the simple probability rnath of Fermat and Pascal, taught in my youth to high school sophomores“

---

Fourteen: Deprival-Superreaction Tendency

“That is, the loss seems to hurt much more than the gain seems to help. Moreover, if a man almost gets something he greatly wants and has it jerked away from him at the last moment, he will react much as if he had long owned the reward and had it jerked away. I include the natural human reactions to both kinds of loss experience-the loss of the possessed reward and the loss of the almost-possessed reward-under one description, Deprival-Superreaction Tendency. In displaying Deprival-Superreaction Tendency, man frequently incurs disadvantage by misframing his problems. He will often compare what is near instead of what really matters“

“It is almost everywhere the case that extremes of ideology are maintained with great intensity and with great antipathy to non-believers, causing extremes of cognitive dysfunction. This happens, I believe, because two psychological tendencies are usually acting concurrently toward this same sad result: ( 1 ) Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency, plus (2) Deprival-Superreaction Tendency. 

One antidote to intense, deliberate maintenance of groupthink is an extreme culture of courtesy, kept in place despite ideological differences, like the behavior of the justices now serving on the U.S. Supreme Court. Another antidote is to deliberately bring in able and articulate disbelievers of incumbent groupthink“

“Deprival-Superreaction Tendency and Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency often join to cause one form of business failure. In this form of ruin, a man gradually uses up all his good assets in a fruitless attempt to rescue a big venture going bad. One of the best antidotes to this folly is good poker skill learned young. The teaching value of poker demonstrates that not all effective teaching occurs on a standard academic path.“

“Some people may question my defining Deprival-Superreaction Tendency to include reaction to profit barely missed, as in the well documented responses of slot machine players. However, I believe that I haven't defined the tendency as broadly as I should. My reason for suggesting an even broader definition is that many Berkshire Hathaway shareholders I know never sell or give away a single share after immense gains in market value have occurred. Some of this reaction is caused by rational calculation, and some is, no doubt, attributable to some combination of (1) reward super response, (2) "status quo bias" from Inconsistency-Avoidance Tendency, and (3) "the endowment effect" from Excessive Self-Regard Tendency. But I believe the single strongest irrational explanation is a form of Deprival-Superreaction Tendency. “

---

Fifteen: Social-Proof Tendency

“For some such reason, man's evolution left him with Social-Proof Tendency, an automatic tendency to think and act as he sees others around him thinking and acting.“

“When will Social-Proof Tendency be most easily triggered? Here the answer is clear from many experiments: Triggering most readily occurs in the presence of puzzlement or stress, and particularly when both exist.“

“Because both bad and good behavior are made contagious by Social-Proof Tendency, it is highly important that human societies (1) stop any bad behavior before it spreads and (2) foster and display all good behavior.“

“In social proof, it is not only action by others that misleads but also their inaction. In the presence of doubt, inaction by others becomes social proof that inaction is the right course“

“Social-Proof Tendency often interacts in a perverse way with Envy/Jealousy and Deprival Superreaction Tendency“

“If only one lesson is to be chosen from a package of lessons involving Social-Proof Tendency, and used in self improvement, my favorite would be: Learn how to ignore the examples from others when they are wrong, because few skills are more worth having.“

--- Sixteen: Contrast-Misreaction Tendency

“the contrast in what is seen is registered. And as in sight, so does it go, largely, in the other senses. Moreover, as perception goes, so goes cognition. The result is man's Contrast Misreaction Tendency“

“" Large- scale damages often ruin lives, as when a wonderful woman having terrible parents marries a man who would be judged satisfactory only in comparison to her parents. Or as when a man takes wife number two who would be appraised as all right only in comparison to wife number one."

“Contrast-Misreaction Tendency is routinely used to cause disadvantage for customers buying merchandise and services. To make an ordinary price seem low, the vendor will very frequently create a highly artificial price that is much higher than the price always sought, then advertise his standard price as a big reduction from his phony price. Even when people know that this sort of customer manipulation is being attempted, it will often work to trigger buying“

“Cognition, misled by tiny changes involving low contrast, will often miss a trend that is destiny. One of Ben Franklin's best-remembered and most useful aphorisms is "A small leak will sink a great ship."

--- Seventeen: Stress-Influence Tendency

“ For instance, most people know that an "acute stress depression" makes thinking dysfunctional because it causes an extreme of pessimism, often extended in length and usually accompanied by activity stopping fatigue. Fortunately, as most people also know, such a depression is one of mankind's more reversible ailments. Even before modern drugs were available, many people afflicted by depression, such as Winston Churchill and Samuel Johnson, gained great achievement in life.“

“ But not many scientists would have done what Pavlov next did. And that was to spend the rest of his long life giving stress-induced nervous breakdowns to dogs, after which he would try to reverse the breakdowns, all the while keeping careful experimental records. He found (1) that he could classify dogs so as to predict how easily a particular dog would breakdown (2) that the dogs hardest to break down were also the hardest to return to their pre breakdown state; (3) that any dog could be broken down; and (4) that he couldn't reverse a breakdown except by reimposing stress.“

---

Eighteen: Availability-Misweighing Tendency

“One consequence of this tendency is that extra vivid evidence, being so memorable and thus more available in cognition, should often consciously be underweighed while less vivid evidence should be overweighed. Still, the special strength of extra-vivid images in influencing the mind can be constructively used (1) in persuading someone else to reach a correct conclusion or (2) as a device for improving one's own memory by attaching vivid images, one after the other, to many items one doesn't want to forget“

“The great algorithm to remember in dealing with this tendency is simple: An idea or a fact is nor worth more merely because it is easily available to you.“

--- Nineteen: Use-It-or-Lose-It Tendency

“All skills attenuate with disuse“

“Throughout his life, a wise man engages in practice of all his useful, rarely used skills, many of them outside his discipline, as a sort of duty to his better self. If he reduces the number of skills he practices and, therefore, the number of skills he retains, he will naturally drift into error from man with a hammer tendency. His learning capacity will also shrink as he creates gaps in the latticework of theory he needs as a framework for understanding new experience. It is also essential for a thinking man to assemble his skills into a checklist that he routinely uses. Any other mode of operation will cause him to miss much that is important. Skills of a very high order can be maintained only with daily practice.“

“The hard rule of Use-It-or-Lose-It Tendency tempers its harshness for the diligent. If a skill is raised to fluency, instead of merely being crammed in briefly to enable one to pass some test, then the skill (1) will be lost more slowly and (2) will come back faster when refreshed with new learning. These are not minor advantages, and a wise man engaged in learning some important skill will not stop until he is really fluent in it.“

--- Twenty: Drug-Misinfluence Tendency

--- Twenty-One: Senescence-Misinfluence Tendency

“With advanced age, there comes a natural cognitive decay, differing among individuals in the earliness of its arrival and the speed of its progression“

“Continuous thinking and learning, done with joy can somewhat help delay what is inevitable.“

---

Twenty-Two: Authority-Misinfluence Tendency

“Living in dominance hierarchies as he does, like all his ancestors before him, man was born mostly to follow leaders, with only a few people doing the leading. And so, human society is formally organized into dominance hierarchies, with their culture augmenting the natural follow-the-leader tendency of man. 

But automatic as most human reactions are, with the tendency to follow leaders being no exception, man is often destined to suffer greatly when the leader is wrong or when his leader's ideas don't get through properly in the bustle of life and are misunderstood. “

“So strong is undue respect for authority that this CEO, and many even worse examples, have actually been allowed to remain in control of important business institutions for long periods after it was clear they should be removed. The obvious implication: Be careful whom you appoint to power because a dominant authority figure will often be hard to remove, aided as he will be by Authority Misinfluence Tendency.“

---

Twenty-Three: Twaddle Tendency

“And it's a very important part of wise administration to keep prattling people, pouring our twaddle, far away from the serious work. A rightly famous Caltech engineering professor, exhibiting more insight than tact, once expressed his version of this idea as follows: "The principal job of an academic administration is to keep the people who don't matter from interfering with the work of the people that do.“

---

Twenty-Four: Reason-Respecting Tendency

“. It makes man especially prone to learn well when a would-be teacher gives correct reasons for what is taught, instead of simply laying out the desired belief ex cathedra with no reasons given. Few practices, therefore, are wiser than not only thinking through reasons before giving orders but also communicating these reasons to the recipient of the order.“

“In general, learning is most easily assimilated and used when, life long, people consistently hang their experience, actual and vicarious, on a lattice work of theory answering the question: Why? Indeed, the question "Why?" is a sort of Rosetta stone opening up the major potentiality of mental life. Unfortunately, Reason-Respecting Tendency is so strong that even a person's giving of meaningless or incorrect reasons will increase compliance with his orders and requests“

---

Twenty-Five: Lollapalooza Tendency-The Tendency to Get Extreme consequences from confluences of psychological Tendencies Acting in Favor of a Particular outcome

---

“Tendency is not always destiny, and knowing the tendencies and their antidotes can often help prevent trouble that would otherwise occur.“

[galfrommars]

Reunited

I can't help myself from crying when looking into my daughter's eyes, because all I see is him. She's just the perfect replica of Bruno. The eyes, the smile, the deep dimple she has on just one cheek. Don't even get me started on that head of hair. Bruno and I have been separated for about seven months now, and it has been really hard on me physically and emotionally. I've made it my duty to stay out of the public eye and off of social media, just so he wouldn't be tempted to text me and vice versa. However, there are two things keeping me going, our 2-year old Gracie, and the little one that I have on the way. Snapping me out of my thoughts, Gracie climbed over on my belly that was huge. She brought a huge smile to my face, and I picked her up and kissed her cheeks. "Mama," she cooed. "What is it my little dumpling," I whispered while staring into her beautiful eyes. "Eat eat pwease," she whined. I know she was hungry, because I hadn't eaten lunch either. She carefully climbed off the bed and took my hand and led me to where her highchair was sitting in the kitchen. It's amazing how fast she's learning to do all of these little things. "Want up mama," she babbled, stretching her little fingers out to me, and I melted and picked her up and sat her in the chair. I wobbled over to the fridge and a picture of Bruno holding Gracie, and I really needed to fight back the tears.

Flashback

Bruno's POV

"Come on baby girl. Follows daddy's keys!" Our baby girl is taking her first steps and it is one of the most beautiful things that I have witnessed. I was crouched down on the floor, holding my keys out for Gracie, and Luna was smiling wide while getting it all on camera. She carefully placed one foot in front of the other and drooled over the keys, and came tiptoeing over in my arms. I was so proud of her and I hugged her and picked her up. "You did so good baby," Luna sniffled, rushing over to hug the both of us. The feeling these two girls gave me was so indescribable, and I never wanted to lose them, especially now that we had another one on the way.

Flashback Over...

I wiped the tears and shook the memories away, and brought some peas and mashed potatoes to Gracie's table. "Here you go baby," I smiled, kissing her head. I began to feed her some of the peas, but she let all of them fall out of her mouth, back on the plate. "Cmon Gracie Gene. Stop that!" Every time I put the spoon up to her mouth, she'd turn away and whine. "NO! Mommy! Yuck!" If it was another thing she picked up from Bruno, it was his attitude and tendency to be stubborn. I think we both needed some fresh air so I picked her up and cleaned her, and I put on her a cute little onesie that said "Diva in training." Believe me when I say she does not need any training. To distract her while I was getting dressed, I placed her in her stroller while she watched episodes of Curious George. We really needed to get out, especially me since I needed the exercise. I looked in the mirror and rubbed my belly and shook my head. It really hurts to think that I would have to raise my children alone. 

Bruno's POV

I really needed to take a walk, because staying cooped up in this house was not accomplishing anything by any means. I missed waking up next to the love of my life. I loved the way she ran her fingers through my hair as we cuddled, or laughed at some stupid joke I told. Geronimo missed her and Gracie too, so I put his leash on and we went out for a jog. It felt nice to see the outside again, and there weren't any paparazzi people out, which made it way more peaceful. "Well G, here we are. The outside," I sighed, holding his leash and looking up to the sky, only to end up bumping to someone. I stopped in my tracks when I saw it was a woman with a baby in the stroller. "Oh, I'm sorry mis-" I had finally took a good look at her, and realized who it was and my heart stopped. "L-luna. My gosh." While I was at a loss for words, Geronimo was acting like the big puppy he was and hopped all over her and tried to lick her all on her face. SHe stared back at me like she wanted to run away, but I grabbed her hands. I took a good look at her, and I had forgotten that she was pregnant. I kneeled down and kissed her belly bump and her eyes started tearing up, and she covered her mouth. "Bruno, please," she whispered, her voice already breaking up. "Daddy, Daddy! Up," Gracie cooed, and some tears of my own filled my eyes. I instantly looked at her and I could not help but smile. She was just as beautiful as Luna. She had her arms reached out for me and I picked her up and spun around with her, and gave her kisses on her forehead and cheeks. "I've missed you girls so much," I whispered against her face, and I felt another warm embrace. Luna. "I'm sorry for what I did and did not do. We all belong together." She nodded and grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips, and I didn't waste any time kissing her back. This was the indescribable feeling that I could not live without.

[luckydoogs]

8 COMMON MYTHS IN DOG TRAINING

Before I delve into the training methods that work, first I’ll shed some light on commonly held misconceptions about dogs to make sure we’re starting on the same page:

Myth #1: Dogs are domesticated wolves, so you need to establish yourself as pack leader. 

Truth: Have you ever heard that the surefire way to be a good dog trainer is to be the “alpha”? I did, years before I became a dog trainer, and even I thought it sounded reasonable at the time: dogs descended from wolves, and wolves supposedly live in hierarchal packs, so it made sense. There’s little to no truth behind this idea. No one is arguing that dogs aren’t descendants of ancient wolves—they certainly are. However, dogs are not wolves, but unique animals predisposed to learn very advanced concepts from human beings. We likely first selectively bred today’s domestic dogs at least fifteen thousand years ago to cohabitate with us, provide companionship, and perform certain tasks such as hunting, herding, or alerting us when a stranger is near. To ignore the human influence in the domestic dog reflects a failure to acknowledge why the modern dog even exists at all. Yet many mainstream dog trainers seem to completely disregard this central point in favor of using methods that undermine the intelligence of our dogs. Also, these trainers are basing their philosophy on an archaic understanding of wolf behavior that has been discredited by researchers who study wolves extensively.  In the 1940s, animal behaviorist Rudolph Schenkel found that when wolves are forced into captivity, they fight for top status or what he referred to as the “alpha.” For decades, this concept reigned in the dog training world, and one of the world’s leading wolf experts, L. David Mech, discussed it extensively in his popular 1970 book. However, thirty years later Mech himself completely refuted the “alpha” wolf concept, so much so that he has pleaded with his publisher to stop printing that previous book. He had found, through his extensive research, that the dog training industry was basing their teachings on a highly artificial situation. Yes, when wolves are randomly placed in confinement together, they do fight for resources; however, that happens only when these animals are in a very unnatural environment. “Wolves in the wild—the wolves that our dogs descended from—get to the top of their pack merely by maturing, mating, and producing offspring,” says Mech. “Leadership roles are simply parental roles. The pack is a family social structure, a lot like human families.”

Myth #2: Domination is the only way to get a dog to listen to you.

Truth: Real teaching is about communication, not domination. Our goal when teaching a dog should be not to make a dog do something by forcing her into submission but to make a dog want to do something. Trying to dominate your dog by yelling at her, flipping her on her back in an “alpha roll,” or using certain collars designed to create discomfort or pain will only greatly hinder both your relationship with your pet and the training process. I know this can be confusing because many well-known trainers promote such dominant techniques. However, what we are really communicating to a dog when we rely on these tools is: “If you do something I don’t like— even if it’s something that comes naturally to you, like walking fast or chasing a squirrel—I’m going to make you uncomfortable.” Such training focuses on teaching what a dog shouldn’t do rather than what she should do. Can these methods be effective? If your definition of “effective” is getting mediocre results, then yes, to some extent they can be. I suppose if I thought I’d experience something unpleasant every time I walked a bit too fast, I’d obey too. But there’s a price to pay for this: your training will not be as effective and enjoyable as it could be for both you and your dog, and such tactics could even undermine your dog’s trust. Furthermore, your dog will not behave consistently when you take those special collars off or don’t use forceful methods. When you rely on an external device to get what you want, it’s simply a crude patch designed to combat the unwanted behavior rather than to emphasize good behavior. And when that patch isn’t there, dogs know the difference and often go right back to the unwanted behavior. It’s as though they think, “Oh, I’m not wearing that unpleasant collar now, so I can do whatever I want.” Some people might argue that while positive training is okay for some breeds, other breeds need forceful, punishment-based training because they are aggressive, powerful dogs. Let me respond to that. First, while some dogs may be more challenging or have aggression issues, that’s definitely not specific to breed. As I explained in chapter 1, the whole idea that certain breeds such as Pit Bulls have violent tendencies is completely false—when you hear stories of such dogs attacking other animals or people, it’s usually because either they have been trained to do so by a human or they have more serious underlying issues. Of course, if you have a larger dog, it’s particularly important to make sure she doesn’t lunge on the leash or jump up on people simply because she can cause more harm than, say, a Yorkie, due to her size. But that applies to any larger dog—from a German Shepherd to a Goldendoodle—and has absolutely nothing to do with breed. Positive training works with virtually any dog. In fact, if you do have a dog with aggression issues, studies have shown that using forceful methods will likely make the behaviors worse. For instance, one study in the Journal of Applied Animal Behavior found that confrontational methods such as striking dogs, intimidating them, alpha rolls, and staring them down often led to an aggressive response. “In almost all cases, dogs are aggressive because they are afraid and feel threatened in some way,” explains Meghan Herron, DVM, DACVB, lead author of the study and director of the Behavioral Medicine Clinic at The Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medicine. “When you use confrontational methods, you are just making yourself more threatening and increasing your dog’s motivation to use aggression against you. It’s like fighting fire with fire.” What about the dogs who do seem to reduce their aggressive behaviors in the face of these methods? “Sometimes people can scare their dogs enough that the animals achieve a state of learned helplessness—they just sit and take it, even though they’re exhibiting signs of panic such as an increased heart rate and panting,” Dr. Herron explains. “Some of these dogs eventually lose this inhibition and their aggression comes back much worse than before, as though they’ve snapped. And for those who don’t, they remain shut down and often live in a state of perpetual fear.” I’d hope that anyone who thinks this is acceptable would strongly reconsider the way they approach teaching dogs.

Myth #3: Only puppies can learn new things. 

Truth: Apparently this line of thinking has been around a long time: In 1534, an Englishman named John Fitzherbert wrote in The Boke of Husbandry, “The dog must learn it when he is a whelp, or else it will not be: for it is hard to make an old dog stop.”Today’s translation: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I know that clichés often have a good bit of truth to them, but that’s definitely not the case with this one. I have worked with thousands of dogs, and I can attest that you can most certainly teach dogs of all ages just about anything. More than half the dogs I’ve worked with in my career were adult dogs, not puppies. I even had a dog in one of my basic training classes who was fourteen years old—he did wonderfully and passed with flying colors. And to this day, I enjoy teaching new concepts to my own dogs, who are all in double digits now. In fact, I recently taught Alpha Centauri to run outside, pick up a package from my front yard, and bring it back into the house. He doesn’t mind the rain as I do! Bottom line: Dogs simply love to learn at all ages, and you should always continue teaching them new tricks and concepts to keep them mentally stimulated. No offense to Mr. Fitzherbert, but don’t buy into this old idea for a second!

Myth #4: Positive training means never disciplining your dog. 

Truth: Just because you’re not forcing your dog into submission doesn’t mean you’re going to let her walk all over you. Positive training does include consequences for unwanted behaviors, but it’s very different from the aggressive methods of traditional trainers. I have no problem with communicating that you do not like something your dog does. If you catch your dog getting into the garbage, telling her “No, don’t do that” in a calm tone, and then removing access to the trash is very logical to me. Or, in the case of jumping on guests, removal from the environment for a few minutes in a good time-out can be very effective, too. The problem comes when you start saying “No!” a lot more often than you say “Yes.” If this is the case, then you are reacting to your dog’s actions rather than taking the appropriate initiative to teach her how you’d like her to behave. The goal is to show your dog the behaviors you do like so the emphasis is more on the positive. So after you remove the garbage and get your dog to sit and focus her attention on you, then reward the positive behavior. Follow through and go that extra mile! When you learn to snap into training mode and follow through like this, you’ll start to see a dramatic acceleration in your results. Do I physically correct a dog from time to time? You bet I do, but only in rare circumstances. Here are the criteria I apply when putting my hands on a dog or forcing her to do something: Would I correct a three-year-old child in the manner I’m about to correct this dog? If not, then I don’t do it. Here’s an example: Let’s suppose I’m standing on a street corner with my dog on a leash sitting next to me. Suddenly, there’s a distraction across the street and my dog attempts to run into the street toward it. I certainly will restrain my dog and walk away from the distraction abruptly, in the same way, that I would grab a child’s hand and pull her away from something that put her in harm’s way. By definition, this is physical correction. However, I limit physical corrections to when I’m preventing my dog from potentially being injured or causing harm to another being. Keep in mind, however, that a correction like the one I just described is a far cry from a restrictive, aggressive pop with a metal collar around a dog’s throat. There’s really no comparison. Lastly, keep in mind that even the physical correction I just described is not ideal. As you’ll learn throughout this book, when you effectively prepare your dog for certain situations, then for the most part no physical correction will ever be necessary.

Myth #5: Once you use treats, your dog will never listen without them.

Truth: You can wean off treats. However, people often expect that once their dog has demonstrated she understands a particular concept or trick with a treat, she should immediately start doing it without one all the time. That usually doesn’t work. If your dog refuses to do something without a treat, this likely means you have attempted to cut treats out of the equation too early and your dog doesn’t get it yet. Your dog will certainly learn to listen without treats, but you’ll probably need to use them longer than you intuitively might think, possibly up to six months after she first learns a behavior. However, I’m talking about your dog knowing a skill completely. For her to do that, she’ll need a lot of repetition and have to practice under various circumstances. For instance, say your dog sits for you when you are home alone even if you don’t give her a treat; however, when you take her to a park where there are lots of distractions, she doesn’t. That’s because dogs don’t generalize well. The single biggest thing you can do to throw your dog off is to change her environment or other variables. When you do, you’ll need to reteach her that skill or trick in the new environment. Using a lot of treats or other rewards with sincere encouragement simply motivates your dog to do the behavior under a variety of circumstances those first several months, which is more important than insisting she does it without a treat right away. Also, once you think your dog knows a skill completely, don’t just cut out the treats cold turkey. Instead, I recommend following the principle of intermittent reinforcement. You might notice that after first teaching your dog something new, a time when you should reward heavily, that you might be able to get a “free one” without treating. That’s because you are keeping your dog guessing—dogs excel when you randomly reward, and the goal is to make sure yours can’t decipher a pattern—so you avoid a pattern by mixing it up. Perhaps give a treat for a particular behavior, then skip the treat the next two times your dog does it, and then treat three times in a row. People may argue that using treats is bribery, but I promise you it’s not. Remember, one of the most important elements of my training program is learning how to communicate with your dog, and treats will help you do just that. They are a catalyst that helps keep your pet’s attention on you and encourages her by letting her know she’s on the right track. On top of that, researchers who have studied dogs’ brains found that while food does motivate dogs, they are also greatly influenced by social interactions with humans.5 I couldn’t agree more! While you still need the treats at first to ingrain the particular behavior you’re looking for, combining that with lots of love and genuine sincerity will only encourage your dog further. So my goal isn’t to get my dogs to sit when I ask them only because they might get a treat. I want them sitting because they are listening to me, respecting me, enjoying my attention, and trusting that I have their best interests at heart.

Myth #6: Behaviors such as jumping indicate that your dog is trying to control you.

Truth: This one gets me! Your dog is not attempting to initiate a coup when she jumps on you after you return from work. Look at her body language. Her ears are probably pinned back, her tail is wagging, and if she could talk, she’d probably say, “I missed you so much! Let’s go do stuff together!” I call this enthusiasm and joy, and I’m not sure how this is so commonly confused with dog-to-human dominance. When dogs exhibit behaviors such as tugging on the leash or jumping on guests, it’s not because they are trying to assert dominance as part of their overall strategy aimed at achieving a higher status in the family. Also, doing things such as letting your dog through the doorway first, allowing her on your bed, and feeding her before you eat is certainly not going to make her think she’s now in control. These are ideas based purely on myths. So what are behaviors such as excessive jumping or leash lunging all about? I know that when dogs act out it almost always has to do with a lack of the kind of exercise that engages both the mind and body, like fetch or other dog sports. Here’s an example: I once worked with a dog named Lafitte, a very energetic dog who had the unusual habit of, well, lunging at and attacking full-size trees. Lafitte is no small dog, either, and when he did this it was a sight to see. I know that many trainers would simply say that Lafitte is a dominant dog, slap a choke chain on him, and yank away until he was defeated and exhausted. However, I figured Lafitte was a dog with a lot of pent-up energy who didn’t have a regular outlet to release it. While his primary person, Rachel, certainly tried, it was hard to keep up with his demanding needs all of the time. Lafitte didn’t care about achieving dominance; he just wanted to do something, anything! Even if it meant that the best way to release some energy was to use the closest tree as a toy. Sure enough, after spending some time with him, in a single training session I was able to teach Lafitte the concept of not attacking trees. Rachel also started playing with him on a more regular basis and has reported that his behavior has improved greatly. I elaborate on the specific issue of leash pulling, on this page, chapter 7, but the bigger point here is that I taught Lafitte without trying to dominate him or cause him discomfort. I simply took the time to first understand why he was behaving in a certain way and then took steps to preempt that behavior by communicating in a way that encouraged him to listen to me.

Myth #7: Dogs can’t understand that much, so speak in very simple terms.

Truth: This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Most trainers advise you to keep your phrasing very simple and limit your requests to one word at a time. They say that dogs can’t understand all that much, so the fewer words you use with your dog, the better. There’s certainly validity to this when introducing a brand-new concept like “sit,” but there’s nothing wrong with evolving your language after the first few weeks of basic training. Saying “Sit down please,” “Have a seat,” or whatever else you want to say to your dog can help broaden her vocabulary. I love being able to interact with my dogs by using everyday speech. Several studies have clearly shown that dogs can have a huge vocabulary, comparable to a toddler’s. Stanley Coren, PhD, a leading expert in canine intelligence and author of How to Speak Dog: Mastering the Art of HumanDog Communication, among other titles, has found that the average dog can learn at least 165 words. Highly intelligent dogs can learn 250 words, or even considerably more. One Border Collie named Chaser holds the current known record, at more than one thousand words, and she most certainly understands some sentences and grammatical semantics.6 I know she’s an outlier, but her story shows that dogs are a lot more capable than most people think they are. I can verify that dogs can understand simple sentences, provided you speak this way often. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t use one-word requests such as “sit” and “stay.” But you don’t have to always limit your phrases to one word at a time. You also don’t have to worry that you are going to confuse your dog—they understand slight nuances in language and context just as we do. My dogs very clearly know the difference between “let go” and “let’s go.” Also, years ago when I used to perform with my dogs in stunt dog shows, I would say “Down please” to tell them to get off a platform they were standing on. This did not confuse them when I’d later ask them to lie down by saying, yet again, “Down please.” There’s also no need to dumb down your grammar. If your dog is barking, for instance, you can abandon phrases such as “No bark!” Instead, use proper grammar by saying “Stop barking please,” and teach your dog your language as you would teach a young child. Feel free to speak in a way that comes naturally. You’ll be shocked by what your dog can understand.

Myth #8: You can teach your dog only one thing at a time. 

Truth: Dogs are remarkably intelligent and capable of “walking and chewing gum at the same time.” Just like humans, your dog can process many concepts simultaneously. Of course, I’m not saying to go crazy here and expect your dog to master ten tricks or skills in one day. There’s a fine line between covering multiple concepts and confusing your dog. You’ll have to find that line with your dog, but a general rule of thumb is between two and four simple tasks at a time. As for me, I like to introduce the concepts of “sit,” “down,” “up,” and “stand” in the same training session with most dogs That’s four things! You are not only encouraging your dog to multitask mentally, which is great exercise for her brain, but also planting the seeds for more intermediate or advanced skills down the road that require more than one step. Most importantly, don’t think you have to completely perfect a concept before moving on to the next one. Many people assume they need to, say, master housetraining before they move on to basic training, as though it’s sequential. Again, I want to make sure that this is not your mind-set. While you’re housetraining your dog, you should work on other basic skills. Dogs want to work with humans, and by encouraging your dog to learn lots of things, you’re only speeding up her success.

[majorxbennyxboy]

TURN S4 according to someone who Has Not Seen It

(pieced together by random bits and pieces of things that have slipped the filters)

Arnold sends Ben this creepy letter like ",,,,,hey,,,,u wanna,,,,,,,,,betray everyone you love and come join me in bastardly traitor fun times,,,,I know you want to because when you tried to shoot me you missed, and that's always a sign of Fondness."

Which Ben is Not For so he's like :/

Richard decides he's going to Love His Son and also switch sides, which is Great !! because now the whole fam are Rebels together and Abe's got this Puzzlement Sandwich going on but he's also happy to finally have a dad. He's skeptical, but he Ready.

Caleb shows up and Abe just. Screams it to the heavens, "MY BUDDY MY PAL MY HOMIE CALEB BREWSTER GET A LOAD OF THAT ARNOLD BASTARD HUH WE SURE DID A GOOD JOB WITH OUR SPY RING DIDN'T WE WOW HAHA WE'RE GOOD"

Abe takes him home and gives him some tea. The cup is as big as Caleb's head and he is Very Cute holding the saucer in his two hands. Declines sugar. He's sweet enough without it. Accepts some whiskey.

He's like "hey you wanna pack up now let's go?"

But Abe Nopes that like "nah see I'm gonna be the Spyingest Spy. Me and the fam are Staying and we are gonna Wreck some Redcoat shite and it's gonna be awesome."

Richard chimes in, "do you and those soldier boys want to burn some stuff bc I can hook you up with a SICK bonfire if youre game"

Caleb is Game.

Washington's like "tallmadge why the *BEEP* didn't you tell me about this letter boi" and it's very Stressful but he's also kind of softly like "tallmadge occasionally does a good job wow"

GWash and Martha get. snuggly.

Ben and Caleb pop off to go destroy people and burn some hay and Ben's like "TAKE THE BULLETS OUT YO GUN GUYS WE GOTTA STEALTH THIS SH"

This redcoat guy alerts the entire fort but Caleb takes him the hell out and the boys blaze in and within about five and a half seconds they take over and set to burning hay. Caleb snatches some stuff like "man yeah I am making some cash today this is worth a fortune on ebay"

Ben is in Richard's house at some point in a heckin' coat.

Caleb goes to pawn his contraband but gets snatched by a weasle.

Arnold's like "you only say you don't like betraying your friends because you've never tried it. come on dude it's fun it's fun I swear you should do it"

And Caleb's like "um dude no hell in way. I'm not about that."

So Arnold conjures Simcoe from hell and that's that.

Simcoe goes "do you know why I like serrated blades?"

"bc u nasty fool"

Simcoe proceeds to behave very badly and tells an extended version of a story that was cut from S1E2 about how his father died when he was like ten and how his RageClown Tendencies are perfectly legit. Also he's just like "Ah yes do you remember S1E2? Those events make all of this okay. It isn't about revenge tho even though it lowkey totally is."

Cookie comes down like "YO MAN WTH ARE YOU DOING U BETTER STOP"

Meanwhile I think Peggy is going "marriage sucks." and Arnold is being a complete ass to her but she doesn't let it diminish her vibes that woman is a queen. And possibly pregnant I think.

She and Philomena run into each other and there's some sassing but Peggy's like "haha ? I will :) destroy you :D"

Boys work out a plan to get Caleb back and it entails swapping Abe and Richard over to the Redcoats and getting something like five-hundred pounds as well.  They got these two all tied up and some guys  come up like "Uh?"

Ben's a spymaster and has it Under Control and tries the ol' Smile 'n Wave routine. It does not work.

They get to the Prisoner Exchange and Ben's like "UM? Excuse you what did you do to my guy over there what'd you do to Caleb"

Simcoe plays pool while predicting the current events

and Richard gets frickin' sniped he's wasted it's over that's done the people SCATTER and everybody runs into a barn.

Mulligan slides into Rivington's inn like "yo Quaker boy. if you happen to be a spy, or something...u should def check out some new threads. *wink* we should talk"

Rob's having none of that. "you're creepy. get away from me."

And then Arnold comes in to straight up slaughter Mulligan and fling him everywhere. He's also like "WHAT IS UP MY PEEPS WHO DON'T EVEN WANT ME. NOT ONLY AM I A DIRTY NO-GOOD WHO BETRAYED MY FORMER PEEPS, I AM NOW PERSONALLY HUNTING DOWN THEIR LITTLE SPIES. TELL THE WORLD. *Flings glitter and drama as well as some shade*"

v uncomfortable cart ride back to camp and a Turtledove Cameo later Abe's like "ben i'm going back to sadtauket and burying my father, possibly myself, also contemplating revenge but not in a culper way."

Ben's like "...uh." and has no less than fifty tabs open but Anna Handles It.

Anna helps this little girl with a doll and everyone in camp ships Benanna. Ben starts thinking about what they can possibly do about this but Anna tells him not to do anything because it's a really good cover and also another box on the People Anna's Dated Bingo Cart the writers have been forcing her to carry around.

Abe buries his father while Thomas mills about chanting "dead dead dead dead dead" in the background and ten tells Mary he's going to kill Simcoe. She tells him not to miss, while bitterly regretting only taking off dude's ear.

????????????????

Selah turns up in Camp and, after miraculously not murdering Ben for the whole "allegedly dating my wife" thing, he's  like "wife. hello. so I've been Facing Reality and steadily accepting the fact that you probably don't love me and most likely never have but, we should still probably Discuss and see if we can work something out."

"Kay"

He goes to Ben like "she works for you' "uh" "she worked for you in Setauket" "uh" "does she still work for you" "uh" "boy" "I mean if you can convince her to go with you and manage to survive the discussion then by all means" "...kay."

Hewlett's Head of Intelligence and v Jaded but also working through his stuff. He's maybe looking at stars and at one point is like "hello soft quaker boy yes I am in love with stars. and myself. and that is Good. I have reached Zen but am also a somewhat Tortured Soul at this stage of the game"

"okay. you're weird. but okay. you do you lizard man. you do you."

A plan is hatched for Abe, who is Culper once again, to beat Arnold at his own game by pretending to turncoat, but not really turning. For some reason Ben's good with this??? idk but he's like "see youohmygod don't get killed please"

Caleb pops off to fetch Mary and is very cute with Thomas. And with Mary. They're all precious. Ben and Anna ride to meet them. They are riding double. With Anna as the big spoon. Hmmmm yesssss

sorry *coughs*

Ben meets Sprout and it's real hella cute for about five seconds.

Back in Camp Ben tells Mary "I gotchu, you're with Abe, you're family, I will take care of you. hmu any time"

And then he gets real serious into talking tactics or smthn to Caleb and Mary shows up in his tent like "hey can you"

and he loses it

"NOBODY SAW YOU DID THEY MARY I CAN't HAVE CAMP THINKING I'M DATING EVERYONE WHAT THE HELL MARY THERE IS PROTOCOL"

Caleb chills, uncomfortably, in the background.

Mary gives it back to Ben. "YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THINGS ABRAHAM IS MY HUSBAND"

"WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SPY RING"

"HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE DUMBASS"

"OH MY GOD IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT"

this continues for a few heart-lurching moments before Mary leaves. Nobody is happy. Not a single individual feels any joy, at all, in their life.

That Randall sicko is still alive and he's like "hey Anna."

she be Knowin "you're that guy Ben tried to take out last season"

"Yeah but that ruling went in my favor"

(WE'RE LEFT HANGING. OKAY, SO THEY DECIDED BEN WAS IN THE WRONG. SO? WHAT HAPPENED? DID THEY MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE? DOCK HIS PAY? DETAILS PEOPLE. HOW DID HE NOT GET DEMOTED???)

and Randall proceeds to tell Anna there's some kind of mutiny being planned.

At some point there is an actual mutiny but the people involved are stopped and arrested and brutally executed and it's a harrowing experience for everybody.

Abe Enlists with the Redcoats and gets this new bunkmate, Joe, who seems interesting. He also visits Townsend who's like "what the hell what the hell what the H E L L  PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING"

Townsend takes it upon himself to Snoop and keeps following Abe around and shows up at this party and Abe's just like "can you please not be weird Robert I'm undercover"

Cicero completely Outs Abe to Peggy and she's like "...ight."

Simcoe gets nasty and, as with everything involving Simcoe, there are sharp things involved.

Some fool tries to take out Hewlett and Hewlett's like "man I'm so done with everyone's bs this isn't happening today"

He and Abe somehow meet up and instead of killing each other they wind up plotting against Simcoe, something they both believe in.

Those Rebel Boys hatch a plan to expand the spy ring once again with this Champe fellow. He and Caleb pretend to fight, (DAMMIT CHAMPE BE GENTLE WITH HIM) and Ben pretends to be really mad about this and hauls them both to his tent for a Pretend Stern Talking-To in which they discuss Plans and Ben pretends to banish them both forever.

So Champe hops off to go meet Abe.

He's a pretty creepy-like dude and seems to basically be Rebel Simcoe.

Another plan is hatched, this time to get Arnold, but things go awry. Caleb's Struggling and Ben's Upset and once again nobody is at all happy, and it's horrible. absolutely horrible.

More sh goes wrong bc the British are like "right so you're all trained up, time for you go kill some rebel soldier bois" which Abe is less than enthused about.

So Ben's Thinking about this. "who the hell is going to fetch abe. Can't ask Caleb to do it. Anna can't go. Hm guess I'll have to" Anna is quick to point out "lmao ben do you want to be labeled a traitor bc that's what's going to happen you should just ask Caleb." Ben considers this. "...nah it's cool I'll just Resign and go Handle it."

Also Mary has discovered some form of traitor ladies and I think tries to barter the information but Ben's just like "ASHFAKJFHAK PLEES"

Ben hits Hamilton up and asks him to be the new Spyboss ("good luck my guy it's like herding ducks.") and Hamilton isn't so sure about this but Ben's Convinced it is Necessary, makes all the arrangements.

Caleb tho he pops in like "actually I'll take this one" in the biggest frickin miracle of a thousand years

the two have a Moment. a blessed Moment of Purity.

And then Ben flounces over to GWash to resign anyway and they both throw a MASSIVE HISSY FIT AT EACH OTHER AND IT'S HONESTLY EVEN MORE BRUTAL THAN THE "not my son" CONVO IT'S SO TERRIBLE and Washington decides, "well you can't resign. You are Fired."

because he is Ben Tallmadge there seem to be no concrete consequences for talking to the General the way Ben does in this particular scene, even though GWash could quite possibly have him fed to an angry sheep.

Caleb has a very Emotionally Moving convo with Mary and it comes back to help him out later.

Abe and Simcoe make eye contact and Simcoe's like "MURDER TIME YAY" and chases him. Abe tries to shoot him, misses. Chase resumes until Abe is cornered. AND CALEB JUST TAKES SIMCOE THE FRICK OUT HE JUST. NAILS HIM, KABOOM. +1000 FOR THE BLESSED BEARDY WHALER FLOWER MAN.

For good measure, Abe then flings Simcoe off a thing and the man slithers away in the time it takes Abe to get down there. Abe pulls a pistol on him in front of several other guys, none of whom notice, but then leaves without actually shooting the scarecrow.

Caleb shows up to talk to some Soldier Bois like "have you seen my spy" and they have but it's Champe. But !! they tell him some Stuff about where to find Abe and he's like "well that's good" and jogs on his merry way to find that Boy.

also Hewlett doesn't play he's all about "you killed my horse, and we're about to have a discussion."

Yorktown, meanwhile, Looms, and the Biggest Question is whether they'll be able to wrap this up without E10 being movie-length.