#I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic grell hc (Black Butler)

I have no seen/read Black Butler in years, so I apologize if this is short. I will try to write for Grelle the best I can. I will also be trying to refer to Grelle with She/Her pronouns.

I personally see her as a platonic yandere... but I'll see what I can do. I also made Darling a human.

Yandere! Grelle Sutcliff Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Delusional behavior, Romanticizing death (On Grelle's part), OOC Grelle (maybe), Forced "relationship".

Upon researching for Grelle, I had not realized how little time we get with her.

From what I've seen, Grelle doesn't get much time to be explored in the arcs she's in.

She's been depicted as flamboyant, impatient, ruthless, and impulsive.

She also appears to fangirl over crushes, her most prominent ones being Sebastian and William.

She's shown to be obsessive and often acts on emotions and desires.

Already unnerving yandere material, honestly.

Even worse is that she's a Grim Reaper, which means if her obsession is human, she can't really interact with them without a reason.

The last time got her in trouble.

In fact, her human obsession would cause so many issues.

Reapers are not allowed to mingle with human affairs and can only interact with humans on their list.

Which means you're untouchable for Grelle, much to her disappointment.

That doesn't stop her from watching, however.

Yes, Grelle has broken the rules before, but she's also aware if she does it again she'll be unable to see you.

So instead, Grelle tries to content herself with watching.

Although, she may sneak interactions with you through a disguise...

Can't get caught unless another reaper sees her, right?

Grelle gets very fixated on her obsessive crushes.

She knows she isn't supposed to kill humans, but she yearns to at times.

After all, she feels her obsession would be so pretty covered in blood...

The crimson would accent your beauty, you'd be such an adorable human.

In a way I feel she'd be dehumanizing to you due to her job.

She coos over you like a pet at times, even when she watches you from afar.

Her only obsessions have been a demon and a fellow reaper...

Her job is to judge humans before they die.

So, in a way I can see her looking down on you a bit.

You may not be on her list... but she wishes you were.

Just imagine how romantic it would be!

It gets her excited to think of being the one to take your soul.

You'll be so beautiful.

Of course, such things can only be fantasy to her.

It makes her quite upset, actually...

She only gets to watch you do mundane tasks.

Her fellow reapers often scold her for watching such a mundane human.

You're simply a new fixation of hers...

She can't be your reaper.

Grelle definitely feels death is... romantic, in an odd way?

She's definitely fantasized about your memories and how it would feel to use her scythe on you.

She's actually quite jealous of whoever your reaper is.

Maybe even possessive of you since she can't show you how much she adores you.

She certainly has odd fantasies about you that you're blissfully unaware of.

Oh, speaking of that, that's the scary part.

You don't know about her.

You're a human, just living their life...

Oblivious to the fact a reaper has fallen for you in their own twisted way.

Grelle knows she's supposed to behave and listen to the rules...

But how long do you think it will be before she acts?

Grelle doesn't bother kidnapping.

She'd be more fixated on being your reaper if you're human.

A reaper and a human... a pair not meant to be.

To Grelle, it's poetic.

To you, you're terrified.

Grelle would take you when it wasn't your time just to keep you to herself.

She knows she'll be suspended, but she needs this.

Your fear is adorable when she finally reveals herself.

She's been waiting a long time for this!

Her obsession is fast acting, probably developing within months.

Poor you only has a few months to live because of a reaper's obsession

Grelle would probably coax you to smile, saying how cute you are and how she's been waiting to properly meet you.

She acts like she's your friend, when her main goal is... well...

For you to die.

She may even succeed in her goal unless another reaper stops her.

Let's be honest... Someone probably will.

Other reapers no doubt have noticed her obsessive behavior towards this one specific human.

Considering her past and fascination with blood...

You may just be saved during your first encounter with Grelle.

Which... makes her throw a fit.

Her obsession over you is unhealthy, of course.

It's detrimental to you mostly as Grelle is obsessed with coating you in a pretty red.

If killing you doesn't work...

She may just kill humans around you.

Either way, Grelle's biggest fantasy and obsession is using the color red to make you pretty.

Traumatic for you, of course.

But Grelle praises you, cooing over how it all looks like a dramatic scene.

Grelle loves drama.

Even if she's stopped once... She'll come back.

Eventually she'll get that perfect crimson scene... with you and her as the centerpiece...

It's safe to say Grelle is delusional.

Her love for you is a twisted desire for something vaguely poetic.

Grelle purrs that she truly adores/adored you once she gets you how she wants you.

You'll be sobbing, covered in blood not your own... not yet.

Then, at the climax of her love for you...

She'll slam her Death Scythe down on you...

To her, this is how she'll keep you as hers.

Will she be punished? Of course...

But now no one else will love you like she loved you.

[cheshiresense]

Hello Anon, I hope you won't mind if I screenshot pieces of your ask, I read it but my muse vaulted over your first 3 questions and then took off on your 4.1, and now here we are, so I'm just going to chop these up and post them depending on what I can come up with.

This started out with TBTP!Shunsui never getting his memories and then kind of spiralled. He still doesn't get his memories but... well, you'll see. It really ran away from me lmao. No thoughts behind it, just vibes, I hammered this out in like fifteen minutes and it felt like a fever dream.

Starrk would definitely have complicated feelings about it. Like at the start when he agreed to go back, I think a part of him even then expected for the entire thing to end with his death, even if they manage to neutralize Aizen and defeat the Wandenreich, but whether or not he manages to survive it all, he definitely has no plans to get together with TBTP!Shunsui.

For one, obviously they're not the same person. I wouldn't say they're completely different, and I imagine TBTP!Shunsui would be a lot closer to Winter War!Shunsui, whom Starrk had met first. But TYBW!Shunsui is the one Starrk knew best, and TYBW!Shunsui suffered quite a few losses in a very short time. Like to Shinigami, even a hundred years probably isn't that much, especially to one who's already lived over a thousand years. But TYBW!Shunsui lost everyone he'd known for a thousand years in like the space of a week, he lost his mentor, he lost his closest friend, and on top of all that, he had the weight of a war fuelled by a grudge a thousand years in the making dumped on his shoulders, he had the duties of Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 dumped on him, he had the deaths of literal thousands of Shinigami dumped on him, and then in this AU he had to be the one to carry everyone else through another 7 years of waging an endless bloody war that after a certain point neither side was ever going to win, but he had no way of stopping it either.

That sort of thing would take its toll on anyone. TYBW!Shunsui was a man changed by loss and grief and more responsibilities than he'd ever wanted. I imagine he would've had very little time or cause to still remember how to be the person he was before the Quincy War when he still had it in him to relax and enjoy life.

But I also imagine that Starrk being there had helped. Starrk has always been a quick learner, and it's not like he'd really known anyone there save Shunsui. He stuck close to his Shinigami, watched and learnd the way Shunsui strategized for each assault and skirmish, contributed what he could where he could, pitched in by keeping the Fourth Divison alive and functioning, shouldered some of that weight by finally wielding all his strength and mowing down entire battlefields of Quincy on his own just so other Shinigami wouldn't have to and Shunsui would thereby have one less thing to worry about.

And in the precious stolen moments in-between, Shunsui had someone to go home with, someone who guarded him while he slept, someone to distract him from the war (from his failure to protect yet more Shinigami fallen in battle under his command), someone to sit beside who knew the same kind of loneliness and didn't recoil from it, who was content to hold him and share in his silence when he just needed a moment to breathe.

I imagine there wouldn't have been many things to be happy about, but I think they'd still manage to carve out some happiness between them. Starrk had known very little of things like human food and clothes and games and books. Shunsui had been delighted to introduce whatever he could to him. They learned about each other, about their similarities and differences, about their strengths and weakness and hopes and fears, secrets exchanged in the dead of night in the safety of a shared office, a shared bed, a shared home. And even in the midst of a war and so much death and destruction, they managed to build something beautiful and strong, something that would've been long-lasting too under any other circumstances.

Because then Shunsui dies, a year before the true end of the war, and Starrk had perhaps not seen it coming even though there was never any real guarantee on a battlefield, but it had also been an unspoken certainty of his, something he knew the way he knew bones were breakable and blood was red and murder was easy--the day Kyouraku Shunsui dies would be the day Coyote Starrk would also fall. With any luck, Shunsui would only die over his dead body, but fortune has never favoured Starrk, and he'd figured the other way was fine too. That way, Starrk wouldn't be yet another person in a long line of people to have left Shunsui behind and alone once again, and he'd thought it would make no real difference. If Shunsui dies, Starrk would surely be minutes behind, by his own hand or otherwise.

That doesn't happen. It doesn't happen because the rest of the Gotei had gotten over any qualms they might've had about working with an Arrancar or even Aizen's former Primera Espada years ago, and besides, Starrk had already broken all the known rules and beliefs several years back by becoming a whole soul and evolving into something no one had ever seen before. He couldn't really be considered a Hollow anymore, for all that there was no other name for him either. And with all that he'd done - following Shunsui into battles and meetings and everything in-between with the kind of steadfast devotion the tide held for the moon, burning the midnight oil right alongside all the other captains and lieutenants because even a hopeless war generated paperwork and headaches as much as it did low supplies and emergency triage and lists and lists of dead, powering through enemy forces to save even just one more Shinigami with the kind of firepower rivalled only by the likes of Kurosaki Ichigo and Aizen Sousuke, and carrying the Fourth on his back by sheer force of will and a truly terrifying mind that had soaked up every medical text he'd had time to read and every medical procedure he'd had time to learn or extrapolate or straight-up invent out of fatal necessity - Starrk had long become a pillar the Gotei 13 couldn't do without, a figure at their helm as familiar and reassuring as the long unwavering shadow Kyouraku had cast had been. And in the devastating wake of even their Captain-Commander's death, with only a handful of captains and their squads remaining, they couldn't afford another titanic loss on its heels.

And, as Hirako had been the one to point out, all glittering ruthless eyes borne from desperation and pragmatism--Kyouraku Shunsui had protected Soul Society with his very last breath; if they were to ever meet again, would Starrk even be able to look Shunsui in the eye if he wouldn't even stick around to try and defend the place and people Shunsui had loved enough to die for?

(A year later, Mimihagi would use the exact same argument to receive the answer he needed to send the second envoy the Soul King had chosen back in time to save the world.)

(Perhaps the lesson Starrk had learnt best at Shunsui's side had been the one of duty. Or perhaps it had been the one Shunsui hadn't even meant to teach but Starrk had learnt anyway, had held closest to his heart, the one of love.

They were about the same thing in the end, when it came to what Starrk would do for Shunsui.)

Hirako had even dragged Ichigo to stand before him, Isane too, each and every last person Starrk would even nominally call a comrade and was still alive--Hirako had put them all in front of him, and then he'd asked if Starrk could really go to his grave in peace.

The bastard had gotten his way in the end, and Starrk had never come as close to hitting someone unprovoked as he had right then. He'd been left the sole survivor once again, left to soldier on alone, and some days, he has no idea how he keeps going.

(Some days, Starrk had wondered, still wonders, if Shunsui had known his death was coming, or had known what would happen should his death come to pass, so he had made… arrangements accordingly. Most days, Starrk knows it's best not to know the answer because it would probably be the one thing he would never be able to forgive Shunsui for.)

So Starrk had hung on for another year and done his best for what was left of the Shinigami, for the dwindling pockets of civilians, for Kurosaki Ichigo. Anyone with eyes could tell though, that he'd just been waiting until the war was over one way or another, until the day he could lie down and not wake up again.

Of course, as it turned out, he wasn't even allowed that much, and a lifetime later, Starrk is still alive because death just won't take him, or he just won't die.

He has zero desire to even look at TBTP!Shunsui. The first time he has to anyway and sees two eyes instead of one, it's like a knife to the gut. They're lighter too, somehow, without the void of grief and exhaustion and quiet despair bruising their depths. His gaze still holds a weight to it, he's still loved and lost before, he's still lived a thousand years with all the joys and sorrows that entails, but he hasn't lost everything, hasn't lost those dearest to him, hasn't had to pick himself up and force himself to march on anyway towards a dead-end future, and for a moment, it's like Starrk is looking at a stranger.

He thinks, randomly, bizarrely, in those first few minutes of their second first meeting, that it's a good thing he always wears gloves when he goes out.

He thinks, madly, nonsensically, that if he were to touch this Shunsui now, it would stain him black with desolation, or red with blood that would never run dry.

He thinks, abruptly, hysterically, that he'd somehow forgotten the hole Shunsui had left behind with his death, as if the past year had numbed him so thoroughly that it had frozen even his grief in its tracks, except it all comes roaring back now, an empty pit that's always been waiting for him to remember it, threatening to drown him whole. Frankly, he would welcome it if he thought it would kill him once and for all.

It's frighteningly easy to pretend nothing is wrong. Perhaps it shouldn't be. He's never been one to emote outwardly, always been good at displaying nothing but impassivity without even trying, to the point where Shunsui had remarked more than once that it was difficult to read him (and then pouted and asked what Starrk was thinking - don't leave him out, it's hurtful - and he'd always want to know even when Starrk was clearly thinking of nothing important at all).

He greets this Shunsui politely, with the courtesy an Academy student should afford a captain, he makes smalltalk as necessary, he doesn't look at anyone in particular but also doesn't avoid anyone's gaze, and then he lets himself fall silent as Ichigo draws everyone's attention again with no deliberate effort whatsoever when he blows up at something his cousin says.

It's easy to fade into the background after that, to fade into himself, retreating into his own mind with the ease of long practice. Once upon a time, he could spend years like this, buried so deep in his own head that when he surfaced and became aware again, the sand dunes would've shifted and changed, and new mountains of bones would've already formed around him.

The few times eyes turn back to him, he nods in all the right places and responds at all the right times and pretends the world hasn't become white noise in his ears.

(He'd had these episodes a few times during the war, never when there was immediate work to be done or a fight to be fought, but in their downtime, it would sneak up on him. It had never lasted more than a couple hours at a time, but he'd scared the hell out of Shunsui the first time, had found himself at the Fourth when he'd woken, but then he'd explained, and Shunsui's expression had been unreadable but his eyes had looked pained. He'd shaken his head when Starrk had said he could leave him alone or just smack him out of it, either way he'd come back sooner or later, but Shunsui had refused, and every time it had happened after that, Starrk would wake with his head pillowed against Shunsui's shoulder or chest or thigh, Shunsui's arm wrapped around him or his bulk at his back and a blanket draped around them both, warm and comfortable and never alone.)

(He is alone again now, and he doesn't understand why it's so difficult to relearn something he had known for far longer than he hadn't.)

He's here to check Fujiwara's Hohou - Shunsui's cousin, Shunsui never mentioned her, she must've died long ago in the future - so he does that when he's cued and works her through the problem and suggests a few exercises, and that's that. He practically sleepwalks through the rest of this little gathering, barely manages to feel vaguely relieved when it looks like they can all finally part ways, and hazily wonders if he can get away with booting Ichigo back to his own room for the night. He's pretty sure he's going to end up scaring the kid if he falls even further into his own mind.

Then Shiba Kaien does him a favour out of the blue, nagging Ichigo until the kid snaps and irritably agrees to spend the night at his family's compound. Distantly, Starrk is aware of being invited as well, but that's enough to refuse, citing an exam in the morning - or maybe he says assignment due, he's not sure - and the Clan Head says next time then, and- and-

He blinks and it's time to go. Nothing seems amiss so he inclines his head at the captains and lieutenant, bids Ichigo and Fujiwara farewell, and then takes his leave in a flash of Shunpou.

Starrk has seconds to feel nebulously pleased with himself, another second to remind himself to avoid the Eighth like the plague from here on out, and then even that's gone as he locks himself in his room, and the rest of the night is lost. He is more than happy to lose it.

(He'd had exactly zero presence of mind to catch the way Kyouraku Shunsui had been staring - if discreetly - at him the entire time, from under his hat or out of the corner of his eye, and by the end of the entire encounter, the man had even shaken his kimono over his hands to hide the way they'd slowly curled into white-knuckled fists.

He doesn't know how no one else had felt it, bleeding into the air like a severed artery--a bottomless chasm of loneliness and grief that had felt like it should've been screaming with the agony of it, except there'd only been the deafening silence of barren wastelands, an emptiness reflected in the man's perfectly blank eyes and perfectly sculpted non-expression, and Shunsui doesn't understand why he alone had evidently just taken a metaphorical dive straight into the man's very soul.

(Starrk would've, if he'd noticed. After all, a lifetime ago, Kyoukotsu had loved bringing his wolves back to her soulscape to play with, and Katen had often visited his soulscape in turn for tea and conversation. His and Shunsui's souls had long learned to recognize each other, mingling in a way that had transcended all possible boundaries, and in the face of that, what did a little thing like time and space matter?)

When Starrk had left, Shunsui had almost followed, had wanted to with an instinctual sort of urgency he couldn't even explain to himself, let alone anyone else. Several times, he'd almost reached out while the others were talking, to provide comfort perhaps, or to take some of the pain even, and it had only been the equally intuitive certainty that doing so would break something in Starrk that had ultimately stopped him each time.

"Kyouraku, is something wrong?" Ukitake asks once the others are all gone, because of course his best friend had noticed something off with Shunsui, if not with Starrk.

Shunsui reaches up and tugs on the brim of his hat and doesn't know how to explain that wrong could not even begin to cover whatever the hell had just happened.

His insides are still shuddering like they've been ripped out very slowly. He still wants to run all the way to the Academy this instant. And he feels-

He feels inexplicably like he's lost something beloved and doesn't know if he'll ever get it back.

[downloadablecreature]

Trying to find info on Apoo’s real-life namesake, Chui A-poo.

His Wikipedia page is very empty/small, which I find suspicious. So I’m trying to do some extra research. Kinda.

This is what I have apart from info from his Wikipedia page (where I found the link to this hellish pdf), a few articles on various websites that may or may not be accurate, and some theories.

Please help me.

[kyri45]

I think im a little delirious bc i just broke a fever all the sudden last night and slept through all day but like- you guys. You all made me smile with all your comments and asks and fanart and I'm honestly so grateful.

[heronoegg]

Someone told me that Aizawa irl would look like Lin Manuel Miranda and I haven’t been the same since.

To further my point I made a demonstration

And yes, I did indeed cry when making this

i didn't know weather to respond to this with:

"enter me (he says in parentheses) don't be shocked when your history book mentions me"

or

"well, hate the sin love the sinner"

[afterlife-2004]

Reminds me of “The World Was Wide Enough”, a song from the musical, Hamilton!

[icarusbetide]

this is made explicit in the musical but i'd argue it's also very much applicable to the real hamilton. his childhood experiences probably pushed him on and gave him that great thirst and drive, and he channeled that energy into writing.

and of course, honor was always going to be a touchy subject. illegitimate orphan of a woman called a whore is bad enough, but that combined with actually upper-class, noble familial connections? the fact that his father wasn't even dead so alexander probably kept him in his mind constantly? it probably exacerbated hamilton's issues even more so than if he'd just been a poor man's son. because now you've got a sense that you're owed something and have something to be proud of, but you still have to fight for it tooth and nail every step of the way.

"Why do you write like you need it to survive?" because he does he does he does. he wouldn't have survived if he hadn't begun clerking for the landlord or worked in a trading charter, jobs that inherently require skills in writing. he wrote about the hurricane's destruction of his hometown so poignantly that people decided to help him in furthering his education, KEEPING HIM ALIVE. and as much as he wanted to be something else, as much as he wanted a troop of men to command, hamilton as an adult/young man was NOTHING without his writing. he wouldn't have been washington's right hand man, he wouldn't have gone to the winter's ball to meet eliza, he wouldn't have wooed her with his letters or convinced her father, he wouldn't have built his career or been a founding father. he would have died, a bastard, orphan, impoverished. dead. "Why do you write like you need it to survive?" because he DOES. that's why hamilton could never let an insult go, that's why he always needed to write back, that's why he never stopped reaching for more, because without his writing, without his wit, without his rapid responses, he is NOTHING

[unwri-ten]

Omfg now thinking of the snapcube reference I now just connected Leshy and Snapcube Fandub! Sonic tgt..

Now I can't stop thinking about Leshy quoting Hamilton STOPPPPPP

[slowdesire]

[pardonmydelays]

me when i'm trying to make a fun playlist:

[icarusbetide]

this is unfair since there's no information on him but in my head, james hamilton jr. definitely screamed "i am the eldest boy!" at alexander at least once.

Hamilton being a youngest son and a Capricorn... Literally pick a struggle

[emilyjunk]

brain will get a minific idea that could be written in less than an hour and go..... no that is too much work we simply cannot do it!!!!! then the next night will think up an ambitious, sure to be laborious, tens of thousands of words idea and go. yeah. better start writing bitch

[unfilteredaj]

Rewatched the Hamilton Proshot over the weekend and now I’m listening to the album I AM REGRESSING AND I CAN NOT STOP IT.

[makeuphall]

[6151-richmond-street]

Nothing on this site has made me feel more decrepit than this post.

Time to pop a Centrum Silver and contemplate the relentless march of time.

my dream bedroom 🎀🩷

[iagreewithlilithsrightsnwrongs]

Ava: So…

Lilith: Here we go.

Ava: When you teleport, and you’re not in this dimension, where are you?

Camila: Oooo, good one. Where do you go, Lilith?

Lilith: Nowhere.

Ava: Oh, come on!

Lilith: I go to nowhere. A void. Limbo. However you wish to define it.

Ava: Oh, I’ve been there. It’s boring.

Beatrice: You’ve what?!?

i dont think we explore how ava was literally dead for like. some good hours. a think a day? she mentions it to michael sure but. we need to talk abt it. miss girl was dead and she remembers it (maybe?? for sure?? now idk) and i think we dont talk abt it enough dfyghjfghj