#I hurt the only people who care about me
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They both lost their team and their teacher....
#in my head yuji is the only one who understands#both of them deserve a hug#idk what it is about younger people taking care of adults that hurts so much#shoko deserves to have a breakdown moment lets be honest the shit she went through#jokes on me i know exactly how shoko feels and how you just dont want to move#not only her team but also her underclassmates#and now that megs is gone#omg#and nanami who meant alot to both of them#and gojo#im just making it worse for myself#pathetic#shoko ieiri#yuji itadori#jjk#236#jujutsu kaisen#found family between these two#i need fanfictions....#itadori yuuji#yuuji#shoko#IPMSSA_Panels#IPMSSA_canon!Fixit#IPMSSA_FoundFamily!Fanart
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I want Tim!Robin and Red Hood caught in camera fighting where Timâs being such a little shit trying to get Jason back in to the family and get him to bond, that Jason ends up throwing back âYeah, howâs fracticide for a bonding activity?â Only Tim smiles like the little freak he is. In his mind, he is like wow he skipped steps two to five and acknowledged weâre brothers. progress.
meanwhile, Jason is screaming in frustration and shooting at him, but just missing him cause he is sorry about titans tower but thatâs about it. he doesnât like the brat, he doesnât want to play happy family with him and he doesnât appreciate his efforts of purposely getting in dangerous situations in front of Jason so he has to sweep in just because he feels guilty. (Tim is totally trying to get him to associate him to safety)
Jason doesnât care what anyone says, that little menace is a manipulative little shit and he doesnât. want. to. see. him.
Anyways the next day Jason wakes up to a bunch of headlines and conspiracies stating his sibling rivalry with Robin publicly which what. Now Jason has many of his enemies trying to get back at him via the little idiot and oh my fucking god Jason has never been so distracted as to having to keep up with bat comm than he is now. He curses everything and everyone and begrudgingly has his goons act like traffic light protection control.
Yes Jason has accidentally been given the chance to redeem himself by dealing with a problem he himself made and heâs giving himself sooo much shit for it. He literally never meant everyone to question in polls whoâs now more protective over RobinâJasonâs literally mortified????to have Batman compared to him in that regard??? Jason may not like Robin at all but hell is the bar fucking low. that he refuses to let the dumbass die in the same colors he did isâis not a fucking custody battle?? what why is Vicky Vale painting it like that
Jason swears he has never hated the media more than he does now. He is constantly framed in being in a competition with Batman?? which yeah he gets a fucking kick of winning one over the asshole but he literally said it in that fucking video (the beginning of his downfall) he is the Timâs older brother why do they have to bring Batman in the conversation?? he fucking hates him. Forget replacing him, he hates him cause now all of Gotham walks around the implication that if Robinâs his brother well then that must fucking mean heâs freaking Batmanâs son??? which fucking yeah he is butâbut now his goons go behind his back and update the sulking piece of emotion brick on his fucking wellbeing??? Yeah. Jason hates everything.
#jason refuses to be parentifiedđ#unfortunately for him I really like parentifying him#heâs just so fun to mess with#Tim agrees with me#picture him cackling like stitch in the background#in his defense jason did try to lean on the whole I donât care about him I literally tried to kill him#honestly rogues now#canât even take two seconds to research what fracticide means#tsh#anyways the point is jason did try not to let it get to him for all three days before he sweeped in and saved Timmers#from who you ask?#traffickers#if Jason was GOING to be associated with saving Robin he was going to do it in a way it left a message#yes Jason is a dramatic asshole whoâs love language is murder#so the deal is this#people can take Robin to get back at Red Hood only they canât hurt them in a major way cause else itâs their kneecaps or their heads#: )#Bruce is being a prickly marshmallow in the background frowning at the murder but smiling at the brother bonding#after the first couple of heart attacks of knowing Tim was alone with Jason after Titans Tower#of course#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#robin tim drake#red hood#batman#dc
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I think I would have enjoyed Rhaenyra more if they had kept her mean. The second you make a character a Saint, I immediately despise them
#its tagged anti alright chill#blacklist tags for the love of god#when you make a character 'perfect' i immediately only see their flaws#theres no way someones actions dont hurt other people even if those people are enemies#and i have to look at the side characters who you obviously dont care about#vaemond and the velaryons? wheres their justice?#the people daemon police brutalized?#the dragon seeds that were barbecued?#listen the second you TELL ME who i should root for in a conflict the seond i get suspisious#its bad writing its loss of nuance its also rife with bias#like shadow and bone#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti hotd#anti team black#anti ryan condal#anti sara hess#anti house of the dragon#house of the dragon#hotd#fire and blood#asoiaf#rhaenyra targaryen#mine#my post
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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Come on guys, we can do better than this. You don't automatically hate women because you ship wolfstar and not remadora. You are not automatically homophobic if you ship remadora and not wolfstar.
#Note automatically - we should always examine our own biases#But taking out the frustration of being attacked by one side by doing the same solves nothing#In fact the only people it's going to hurt are the people who probably care about your opinion#And they are probably not the people you aimed the frustration / anger at#Just... be kind#Ask questions - debate - but don't get personal and don't generalise like that#It's not nice#Okay rant over#I am fine#This isn't about me#Which is why I can rant freely#Harry Potter
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I'm just gonna say it. Almost every time someone posts a pic, all excited because they got to meet their favorite actor, I feel more and more isolated from Baldur's Gate 3 community.
I've tried my best to share factual information about covid. I don't really understand how people are missing it, because it wasn't that hard for me to find. I just follow people who are sharing relevant information, and they're paying attention to the data.
They're still actively tracking what they can, in spite of the fact that major governments have simply stopped supporting research on a virus that is still just as disabling as it was from the start.
And 99% of this community can't even wear a mask.
It wouldn't be that hard to incorporate it. Just add a bandana that's an appropriate color and call it an accessory. It's not the best protection ever, but it's better than nothing.
Dave got covid and no one cares. Oh, people said they hope he'll get well soon, but with covid there's no guarantee that he'll ever get it out of his system at all. It's a latent virus, like mono.
We know that chicken pox eventually morphs into shingles. We have no idea what covid is going to do in the long term. It's surprised the experts from the very beginning, because they haven't encountered anything like it.
Dave was face to face with so many people at that con. He probably passed on the virus to pretty much everyone who met him that day.
Yet there's no talk about safety precautions. There's no talk about providing air purifiers foe meet and greet tables or masking up so that we can prevent this from happening again. He had to miss the awards ceremony, something that's only going to happen once, because he didn't take precautions. And he's damn fortunate if that's the only thing it knocks him out of.
Covid is a direct threat to their careers. It affects the lungs, and can make it hard to breathe. Permanently. This would make voice acting harder. It can give you a persistent cough. This also makes voice acting harder. It can make you so tired on a daily basis that you can't think or even sit up, which means that they won't be able to work at all.
And yet they don't care. There's absolutely no sign of any precautions whatsoever. And fans keep saying, look! I met them!
I share the posts because I'm happy for everyone, but I see people who are passing around a virus like a game of hot potato when i look at those photos.
It's extremely demoralizing. I can't even enjoy the things I love without getting reminded that most of the fandom doesn't care about the health or safety of other fans.
This isn't just fear mongering, this is epidemiology. This is how viruses work. This is how covid works. Ignoring it and pretending everything is fine doesn't make it go away.
#the ONLY person I've seen masking is Greelin.#the only person I know of who cares about covid is autistichalsin. who started a blog about epidemiology iirc#I'm so tired#it's breakdown time lads#ESPECIALLY because i know most people do genuinely care about others.#we might fight and express it in different ways and end up hurting each other#but i think most people here care about their community in some way.#but when it comes to covid most people don't give a shit#it's bad enough from my own family#but i kind of hoped that a community like this would give a shit.#and most dont.#you can't tell me you do when you can't be bothered to mask.#and I'm sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings#but i don't even see anyone in the community TALKING about ut#and it's so upsetting#bg3
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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but if I think about how much vax loved and admired pike, how her light and her goodness and her herness inspired in vax a passion he wanted for his own life, if I think about how caleb knew yasha in the pit of her regret and guilt and loneliness and chose to share that deep vulnerability of his own pain with her, for her, if I think about how fiercely orym looks to fearne, looks to fearne, keeps her the closest out of all his friends so much that even in the embrace of his lost loves, orym needed to come back to fearne as she cradled him, sobbing for how much she needed him to be her guidepost, her heart, that pike was a thousand percent ready to face down the goddess of death if it meant vax's safety, that yasha stood stalwart in caleb's wellbeing and let him in the darkest room of herself, that fearne's entire stability is rooted on orym's presence because orym is all she has left that she loves as completely as she would dare, man I just don't know
#takes a hit but like the liam and ashley dynamics are just eating me#the ferocity of their care for eachother like itd be strange probably to get into how protective liam is of her cos they're real people but#I just love him for always having a special seat for her at his table#anyway Caleb talking with yasha about regret is phew boy just made me think of vax's talk with pike#and the way fearne tearfully perks up when orym tells her how glad he is that sheâs Here#fearne being the only one who's Glad her Friends are still here and to be told by her Friend that he's Glad She Is? it's fine#liam/ashley dynamics are real and they're here to hurt me
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i'm trying not to get mad about this but i need to say something. you were not queerbaited. you were not taken advantage of. your ship broke up. they were together canonically for six months and they broke up. you do not have to justify your sadness by pretending there is queerphobia at play in the writers room. in case you all fucking forgot, again, there are two married lesbian main characters who have been there since day one, another stable mlm supporting couple, a gay supporting character with a loving and supportive best friend, and buck is still fucking queer without his one-season boyfriend!!! not to mention the trans man and mlm relationship on lone star. please be sad, please be upset, please express your emotions in this time of hurt, do not pretend that you were wronged.
#being a lesbian in a fandom that only cares about one queer man is so maddening#jesus christ i don't want to be a bitch but seriously stop making shit up#not anti bucktommy#the fans are just pissing me off with their Everything Erasure#i truly am sorry for shippers who were emotionally attached#it just really really hurts to be people ignore what we already have and have had time and again#911#911 abc#911 spoilers#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#henren#hen wilson#karen wilson#josh russo#lesbian#queer
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It's deeply important to me that Loop kind of sucks
#they are literally awesome but they do kinda suck. just a tad#mostly as in i keep thinking about lucabyte's comics. they are critical to me#i love isat's postcanon as a space to explore recovery and communication#but sometimes you kind of have to drag urself through glass to get there. sometimes the glass sticks in ur skin and makes u prickly#i think constantly about like. loop being surprised by siffrin's kindness if u choose to be nice to them in certain dialogue options.#remarking about how time has made them jaded more than he is#loop is fundamentally kind. but they are scantly ever 'nice'#i think if loop joins the party it's inevitable that they are going to make each other bristle up#loop has a difficult time with all of the party members. between the guilt and the loss and them just not being capital s Siffrin#and to the party who only knows loop from one interaction and siffrin's apparent care for them i think loop would come off. abrasive at bes#like. like i dont think loop would act the same with the party that they do siffrin. their mask is very Piss Siffrin Off specialized#but how much of ur persona is an act and how much of it is yourself. or whatever. loop wouldn't want to be mean to their friends sure#but it's much easier not to hurt if you wedge some distance. no better way to get that distance by being offputting. i think isabeau esp#would get the brunt of this. poor man#plus there's just hte general fact that like. nobody likes the feeling of talking to somebody who clearly knows too much about them. who#will never show their own cards. added with the fact that there's just an inherent strangeness w loop. where they have a relationship to#siffrin thru the loops that none of the party members will ever grasp (and in a way they cant even guess frankly!)#i just have a hard time seeing loop's assimilation into the party as going smooth and nice. you know. i think the party members would think#that loop kinda sucks a little. i think loop would let them think this. all of this being said this is not irreconcilable or permanent#but i like there to be growing pains for the party's expansion. i won't even get into nille bc this aint abt her but yah#the lucky thing loop is you made friends with a lot of really nice people who would being willing to get to know you again.#isat spoilers
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hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.
So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)
Fast forward.
Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.
Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM
At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.
So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"
Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"
Dooku begins to smile.
(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)
(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)
---
Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.
Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)
Obi-Wan clears his throat.
"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."
Another awkward pause.
"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.
#Dooku totes anakin back to the Separatists but Anakin's loyalty has really only ever been to like 3 people so he kinda doesn't care#as long as he doesn't have to fight obi-wan or ahsoka he's cool with it#his favorite part of the job is when he has to 'kidnap' padme and/or their kids for uhhhh Political Reasons#and they get to hang out as a family#obi-wan is always the one sent to 'rescue' padme#the rescues mostly consist of obi-wan rolling his eyes while Anakin and Padme draw out a goodbye longer than a midwesterner#(secretly obi-wan thinks it's kinda funny)#also as Anakin is now a Sith he learns about all the Sithly Plans including the clone chips and he immediately panics#'THIS COULD HURT OBI-WAN OR AHSOKA WE HAVE TO STOP IT'#and offers free healthcare (aka chip removal) to all clones on separatist planets (including active warzones) and somehow it works?#despite being the most drama-queen Jedi out there Anakin somehow becomes the most chill sith ever#like he will absolutely fly off the handle if anyone threatens Obi-Wan or Padme or Ahsoka but he's not into the causing-suffering thing#(which I know isn't how the dark side works really but for the purpose of funnyness yes it is)#he's pretty calm in general though! still wants to help people!#dooku sends him to conquer a republic planet that's fighting the separatists and he gets there and he's like#WELL OF COURSE THEY'RE FIGHTING US! LOOK AT ALL THE PROBLEMS WE'RE CAUSING FOR THEM! THEIR ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES!#*to the planetary leaders* don't worry I know someone in the Senate who can help with relief aid. in the meantime let's talk treaties!#when he gets back dooku is like YOU ARE A *SITH* YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CAUSE *SUFFERING*#and Anakin is like I TIED ALL THEIR SHOELACES TOGETHER WITH THE FORCE WHILE WE WERE IN DIPLOMATIC MEETINGS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?#jessica's random thoughts#star wars au
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
#literally the only prerequisites i have for someone to be my friend#like if I love you legitimately everything else is a non issue. it doesn't even occur to me to get mad#and it's not even in a âsigh i will look past this for youâ way. genuinely there's very little you can do to bother me if you're my friend#ill just assume you had good intentions#because i trust that you wouldn't intentionally hurt me if you're my friend so getting angry is pointless#but i genuinely don't know how to handle it when people i care about get mad at me. it scares the shit out of me#ugh i can't explain what i mean#but god some people really just don't give a shit once they dont need me anymore huh#it's the way they go out of their way to make me feel like a helpless 13 year old who can't do anything right again#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#i swear if you manage to lose ME as a friend 9 times out of 10 there's smth seriously wrong with you#because i virtually have no standards and will put up with everything#and am the person who cares too much in almost every relationship in my life
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In a modern au I think the wagyein would be like one of those gaint ass crocodiles that Ivan gets away with keeping because its technically a service animal. As long as its on a leash its all good and not a threat to the public!!
Ivan being rewarded with a more expensive and unique kind pet like a whole fucking crocodile honestly seems pretty in line for him đ especially since it adds a new "chic" flair to his photoshoots and his general aesthetic. Imagine Ivan's new photoshoot drops and he's in a suit posing with a fucking crocodile. Insane.
I really like the imagery of this large, scaly and dangerous looking reptile being tamed as Ivan's pet, something that could help boost his image and push that luxurious, enigmatic vibe. You know, like how stereotypical evil lairs have sharks or other rare and dangerous animals guarding the entrance or simply acting as accessory. That kind of vibe. I also like the imagery of this sharp creature being forced into submission and captivity. Forced to become a good, obedient pet, holding in its urges and keeping its teeth hidden. A being taken from the ruthless, grimy darkness, cleaned and maintained to perfection, forced to perform for the cameras. Ivan can empathize, he knows what it's like.
"Technically a service animal" is fucking hysterical. Ivan going Hello, sir! Please excuse my emotional support 12ft crocodile. Don't worry, he's very well-behaved.
I actually think Ivan would get along very well with his hypothetical crocodile. Just like the wagyein, he'd feel connected to it in a very personal way. Also just like the wagyein I think Ivan would be the only person it would never harm. In my head I have the mental image of Ivan petting and cuddling it as if it were a puppy.
#if ivan owns a crocodile luka would own a snake. like those unique kinds that could probably kill you#mizi would own jellyfish in a large aquarium....#i mean. in a modern au these people would literally be the nepo babies of high class rich people. endless possibilities#also you know that one interpretation of ivan and the wagyein where it's like#ivan embracing the wagyein symbolizes him embracing the idea that he is a âmonsterâ (in his own eyes)#he can understand the wagyein on a deeper level because he is so fundamentally different from everyone else#the wagyein doesnt hurt him. even allowing him to rest in its maw unharmed#while it hurt till enough for him to literally be laying on the ground bruised in the og black sorrow storyboards. it frightens mizi too#thinking about ivans close relationship with danger. how he views himself as someone who can only hurt others#or someone who isnt even deserving enough for the pain he causes to matter to anyone (âyou don't care about meâ)#i think ivan embracing dangerous creatures while till fights back against them says a lot about both of their personalities#ivan is embracing and giving love to the part of himself that he knows would scare other people away. sharper. raw. intense and uninhibited#something that he has to hide or mask in order to be accepted. just like how the wagyein has to be hidden away from everyone else#SORRY MIGHT BE OOC im not in the best mindstate rn#this is just yhe thoughts in my head atm. no polish. my bad#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.
Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.
Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.
#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and#probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a#higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.'#do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face.#idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB.#cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an#individual feels like a slap in the face.#like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and#i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality!#there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or#living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers#but hey at least they arent being murdered!#like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me#feel very invisible.#like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to#be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person#or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm.#its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally#actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus#like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay#we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together#stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge#cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT?#like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed#and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you#the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem'#like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise#people other than trans fems matter and exist#its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm#i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to
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âwow, cloud and tifa have such a fascinating dynamic! trauma-bonding as the sole survivors of a horrific massacre while also not having actually seen each other in years is such a cool way to explore trauma and growth! i wonder what people are saying about them online! :Dâ
what people are saying about them online, every time, without fail:
#i hate it here so bad#straight people are honestly the worstttttttt#tifa is either a sex object or a mother and there is no in between w these people#the unchecked misogyny is unhinged#say what u will abt some sfkrs at least even the weird ones dont care enough abt women to say their bad takes out loud đ#the amt of people i see say just like. the most transparently misogynistic bullshit and call it cutesy ship tropes makes me want 2 eat glass#mine#IDK. âthere is something so visceral about their flavor of childhood friends#âi knew you when you were a different person. i know you the way you were then better than i know you how you are nowâ#âi know you better than most. i know your birthday and your favorite color and the scar you have from trying to skateboard off the roofâ#âand simultaneously most people know you better than i do. i dont know who you are now.â#âand im the last person left who remembers you as you were rather than as you are. for better or worseâ#but the entire fanbase (and even fuckin squeenix for the most part because they r so misogynistic it hurts)#dgaf abt any of that and are here only for stale misogynistic ship bait
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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