#I hope y’all enjoy it I believe it’s some of my best work so far lmao

[watchyourbuck]

Writing prompt for Buddie … “Are you hard, [name]?” and “because I’m in love with you!”

Curious to see what your wonderful brain comes up with 🥰

Buck has a way of staring that makes Eddie sweat behind the knees. It’s not psychopathic, it’s not unnerving, but it’s also not necessarily endearing.

Usually, when he stares, he tries to hide it. Behind a glass, a book, a fork, or anything he can find that would make sense to put in front of his face.

Eddie is not stupid. He sees the way these items move up and down, letting Buck see through the gaps. He’s caught him more than once and had to pretend not to smile when Buck’s faked coughed and apologized.

Thing is, the way he’s staring at him right in this particular second feels… new. A little crooked, and definitely like he’s hiding something other than his relentless gaze.

Eddie pretends not to see it. For the majority of their conversation, he can manage not looking back at him. He cooks, he cleans, he does the dishes. It’s not that hard; it’s a routine. But there’s a moment when Buck shifts uncomfortably that makes Eddie drop his facade.

He raises his eyebrows. Not petulant, just curious. “You good?” Eddie says, and it sounds a lot like a rhetorical question, because Buck would never answer anything other than yes.

“I-um, yeah, yeah I’m okay.”

Eddie is not a patient man. He knows he seems like one, but he’s not. He’s a man who wants a lot, and that wants it now.

More than once has life taught him to wait, to think before acting, but impulses are stronger than habits, so he rounds the table, coming to stand exactly two feet away from Buck.

This time, it’s his turn to stare. His eyes wander down Buck’s body, trying to find whatever’s wrong with him as if he were using a thermographic camera. It’s not that many minutes later that he sees it. It.

“Are you hard, Evan?”

The use of his real name almost makes him jump. His breath hitches and for a second there, he feels unarmed. Completely defenseless against a man who could have his way with him with a simple snap of his fingers.

There’s no point in denying it. Eddie’s a medic, a veteran, a firefighter. Buck doesn’t think there’s anything Eddie doesn’t know about the human body — which, of course, Eddie would fight him on. I mean ‘c’mon, Buck, there’s actual paramedics and doctors and scientists out there.’

But Buck’s a man of conviction. So, whatever he believes in, he believes in forever. And Buck believes in Eddie. A bit much, if you ask his psychologist.

He swallows, and somehow, it makes him harder. Eddie shifts his weight from one leg to the other, adopting a condescending little pose that slowly turns into amusement. If only Buck had any cards to play, things would go differently, but alas, he’s got nothing. Empty handed, if you will.

“Yes,” he says, a little breathless and quiet and oh, too submissive, and even if he’s avoiding those caramel irises right now, he knows he’s getting inspected. Like some kind of sick animal. Well- he means an animal that’s sick, not a- whatever.

Eddie laughs. It’s throaty and Buck acknowledges that he’s trying to push it down. He recognizes that. At the very least, Eddie’s not trying to make fun of him. Still, there’s not much he can do. So he laughs too. Nervously, though.

“Eddie-,”

“Cooking and cleaning? That’s what turns you on?”

See, it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s not the action, it’s the man. Eddie could be boiling water or knitting a sweater for all he cares. Eddie’s hot. He’s… well, Eddie!

“When it’s you,” he deadpans, a little embarrassed. Because, really, how much more torture can a single man put him through?

Eddie’s face changes. It’s the silence that makes Buck turn his head completely. His body remains to the front, but now their faces are closer than they’ve ever been. Except- except that one time, but they don’t talk about it.

“When it’s me,” he repeats, as if he’s learning a new phrase in a new language. It does send Buck into a momentary spiral of how Eddie learned all the English he knows. It’s truly impressive.

“When it’s you,” he says again, and boy does he mean it. Affirmative, correct, absolutely fucking accurate.

They do that dance for a second. It’s ridiculous, and if anybody heard them, they’d think they were insane.

Buck has categorized himself as that before. A few times in his life, actually (but mostly when he’s stayed past four in the morning thinking of Eddie and the way his body moves because nothing else will get him to come), and Eddie? Well, he’s been categorized as that for more people than just himself. His parents, for example.

“Why?”

It’s not exactly a yes or no question. There’s more to it than ‘you’re hot, please fuck me’, but he doesn’t quite know how to convey it.

The look on his face must tell on him, because Eddie raises his eyebrows again, but this time they’re laced with expectation. It’s like he knows the answer, but needs to hear it to believe it.

Buck swallows again, but it goes down the wrong side. He coughs, covering his mouth with his fist, and straightens up in the stool, blood rushing to his head.

God, child, why does he have to be like this?

Hey, at least it’s not a tracheotomy at a public restaurant.

Eddie is a good man. Above everything else — every fucking thing that makes him perfect, that is —, Eddie is a good man. So, he steps closer, and rubs Buck’s back until the man stops sounding like the black box recording from flight MH370.

It’s soothing. It’s calming and nice and- Buck starts feeling like maybe he can confess. Like maybe, after all these years, finally letting himself free from the chains that he tied himself with, may not be that bad.

“Because I’m in love with you,” he mutters, and it’s hoarse. He has his eyes closed but he doesn’t need them to feel the way Eddie’s hand stops moving, just to freeze at the small of his spine.

He’s scared to look at him, because then it becomes real. And real has often proved itself to be terrifying, at least from his point of view. He doesn’t imagine it can be this horrible for everyone else, right? I mean, what kind of life is worth living when everything crumbles down the moment you’re honest with yourself?

Yikes, that’s dark.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

It’s such a confident statement that it makes Buck redden immediately. He opens his eyes, turns to Eddie and blinks. “What?”

“You heard me,” he says, and starts rubbing his back again, as if his Love Confession was just a moment in time or a glitch in the system. He doesn’t seem baffled, or angry, or disgusted. The man doesn’t even look surprised.

“You are?”

Eddie laughs again, and it’s embarrassing. It truly is. It’s like they’re playing some sick joke on a kid who doesn’t understand jokes and just wanted to play along.

“Please,” Buck begs, before Eddie can say anything else. “Please don’t play with me. Don’t tell me you’re- you’re… if you’re not-,”

“Buck,” Eddie whispers, and it’s soft. It makes Buck relax under his touch. “I’m not messing with you.”

“You’re not?”

“No, you fool,” Eddie says, leaning down to capture his lips in what’s now officially the top one kiss on Buck’s tally. “Now,” he continues, separating way too early, “let’s see what we can do about that hardon you’re sporting.”

And Jesus.

He could get used to this.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Please take this as my Wip Wednesday!

Tagged by @hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @daffi-990 (thank you for the prompt ask my love!) @loserdiaz @hippolotamus & @lover-of-mine thank you all!💗

Tagging in return @housewifebuck @mattsire @butraura @buckleyobsessed @disasterbuckdiaz @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddie---diaz @911-on-abc @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @honestlyeddie @honestlydarkprincess @evanbegins @smilingbuckley @cowboy-eddie @giddyupbuck @firemedicdiaz @wikiangela and anyone else who’d like to participate!✨

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Yandere!Johnny Cage w/Singer! Darling

A/N: I was listening to one way or another by blondie tonight and this came into my head😩 This song was literally just the letters and threats that blondie’s stalker sent to her. She decided to make it into a song to not only put him on blast but to mock him. Ughhh This is so perfectttt!! I hope y’all enjoy this lol. Johnny is such a perfect yandere

Warnings: John Carlton 😵‍💫, toxic and abusive themes

Requests: open 24/7

Masterlist

Song reference—one way or another|blondie

Being in the public eye as a well known singer is wonderful. The fans, the interviews, the money and press are all great and all…that is until you’re trying to discreetly leave your obsessive ex boyfriend.

It was impossible trying to escape him. Every interaction, every address you stayed at and every new phone number you got was eventually leaked to the public and right back into Johnny’s grimy little hands.

For weeks after you initially left, he followed you everywhere. You swore you’ve seen a strangely familiar blonde drive past your friend’s place and wait out in parking lots. Even if it wasn’t him physically and the paranoia was getting the best of you, hundreds of vile letters and messages from Johnny were constantly being sent your way.

A lot of them read about how he was going to “get his hands on you” or how he’d “never stop stalking you and if he can’t find you, he’ll start going after everyone you loved…one by one.”

His threats shook you down to your core. Even the ones that weren’t threatening and were just love letters that declared his devotion were still creepy. He was so far gone and delusional about you. It was so surreal

Ignoring all of his messages was no use because all over social media, magazines and tv was him crying over you. Completely fabricating stories and lies about you. How he claims you’re manic right now and are a danger to yourself, how he just wants you back in his loving arms. Oh how safe you’d be when you get back to him. Bullsh*t

It was so out of control that you kept on the road. Hoping it’d keep him guessing on your next location. You even changed your hair and style to appear unrecognizable to the public. You became more homely looking but that hardly worked and only made things worse. The public started believing him more and more with your changed appearance and new nomadic lifestyle.

Soon your passion for music and lively personality became merely a hollow shell of what it used to be. So consumed by fear and anxiety that you hardly could function….you was terrified for the day he’d inevitably get you.

It wasn’t until months later where his “concern” for you died down and he was in his “moving on” phase, that something switched inside of you. He was on a talk show and the conversation of you came up,

“Yeah…what a shame about Y/N. Once a bright star now a mentally disturbed soul. Oh well, that sucks for her. You can’t help anyone who doesn’t want it. I tried giving her a taste of the high life but obviously some people aren’t destined for greatness like me. Hopefully she’ll make a living off of all the crack though.”

Oh…that dirty bastard. So cocky and self righteous. The only reason why you’re in this predicament is because of him and his trifling actions towards you. From the hours he’d yell and lock you in his room, to the obsessive stalking and threats are all now reduced down to what???…you being some kind of druggie?!

Your fire was back!!

You’ve been silent, trying to let this all blow over so you could finally have some peace again but hell no. You’ve given up everything while he gets to sit all high and mighty like he’s some angel.

He wants to mock you, and make you into some sort of laughing stock?? Give it back to him…harder

Compiling all the letters, texts, emails and voicemails…you’ve decided to come back into the spotlight. And what better way to have a new single that literally is written by the abuser’s incriminating evidence.

The media is excited and eating everything all up …

And for Johnny? Oh that man is lividddd. Oh he’s so freaking pissed. Just listening to a minute of the song he knows exactly what stupid little stunt you pulled.

How dare you put him expose like that and turn the media on him.

You wanna be a cunt…fine…this isn’t over, Y/N.

[a-court-of-lust-and-stardust]

Love on Ice Chapter 14: The Encounter

Hi y’all. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

30 Days until Competition

Elain decided if she could have any superpower in the world, it would be invisibility. Which would truly come in handy right about now. She knew traveling to Autumn Region was risky, but the running track was large and she assumed it would be unoccupied at nine in the morning on a Wednesday. 

Oh, how wrong she’d been. 

She’d made it three times around the track before the sharp sound of barking forced her to pause. In pink leggings and a black crew neck, sweating like she'd been locked in a sauna, Elain stood before Beron Vanserra and two of his family’s bloodhounds. 

“Elain Archeron,” He greeted emotionlessly. She recoiled at the way her name fell from his tongue. Wholly unpleasant.

“Good morning Beron,” She answered politely, doing her best to still her erratic heart, eyes flitting around to spy a potential escape route. But Elain couldn’t escape if she wanted to. She wouldn’t put it past Beron to set the hounds loose right after her if she tried to make a break for it.

“It has been some time since I’ve seen you last,” He remarked, thin lips quirking in a way that told Elain he knew exactly why her presence was lacking.

She swallowed, holding his gaze. “Indeed.” 

“My son tells me you’re still skating,” Beron said, praising the pups as they rested by his feet without a command. Scout and Colt had never bothered her whenever she saw them. It was Eris’s hounds Jett, Remi, and Striker, that made her wary.

“I am,” Elain responded. If she kept her replies curt, maybe Beron would pick up the hint that she did not care to speak with him. Unfortunately, it was wishful thinking. 

“With a new, very interesting choice of partner,” He finished, sporting a full grin. “I do have to say you’ve surprised me, Elain. I don’t think any of us believed you would continue on with the competition after Lucien…pulled out.” 

“Pulled out is putting it lightly,” Elain said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Did you know? Did you know he was going to do this to me?”

Beron shrugged. “I suspected. And I cannot blame him for putting himself first, dear,” His voice, once void of emotion, had turned to ice. “My boy would accomplish nothing with you by his side.” 

Elain tried not to let the blow sting. This was who Beron Vanserra was. Cruel and arrogant. Critical. Demeaning. She was familiar with his temperament, but saying she was used to it would be a bold lie. Beron was not the kind of man anyone would ever feel comfortable around.

“Maybe that’s his own damn fault,” Elain muttered. She thought she said it softly enough, but the fire burning in Beron’s eyes said otherwise.

“Watch yourself girl,” Beron threatened. The command in his voice startled the dogs, and they both stood to attention. Colt bared his teeth. “Do not blame my son for your shortcomings. You failed him. Not the other way around.” 

Speak up, damn it. Stand your ground.

“Whether I failed him or not, Lucien dropping me from the competition worked in my favor anyway, so maybe you can extend my thanks to him,” Elain said, unflinching from Beron’s hard glare. “Azriel supports me. He encourages me. He believes in me. He teaches me to laugh and have fun. To love what I do. He has done everything your own son could not. Azriel is twice the partner, twice the man, that Lucien could ever be. And that, Beron, is your failure.” 

She expected more insults, a hound to snap at her ankles, or truly even a slap across the cheek for the way she spoke about her former skating partner and Beron’s own parenting habits. Had she gone too far? 

But Beron laughed. He laughed and laughed and dramatically flicked a tear from his eye. The hounds glanced up at their master curiously. “Fun? That's what this is about? A few smiles? Some laughs?” Beron shook his head, readjusting the two leashes in his palm. “Do you know how disappointed your mother would be in you if she were alive?” 

Elain froze, breath catching in her throat. 

“Truth be told, I do wonder what would dishearten Oleanna the most. Your consistent failure, your immature mindset, or the way you speak so…fondly of your new partner, who doesn’t sound like just a skating partner, but rather someone who may even be warming your bed. Hm? What would your mother think, Elain?” 

Words escaped her, chest constricting so tightly she feared she’d collapse from lack of oxygen. 

“Oleanna had such high expectations for you, dear, and you have failed to reach them time and time again,” Beron shot her a look that resembled pity. “And here you are, twenty-six years old, still without any notable achievements, worried about frivolous fun. You should be ashamed of who you’ve become,” The final blow came from over his shoulder as he led the hounds around the track. “I know your mother would be.” 

Elain stared down at her pathetic plate of nachos, tears dripping from her lashes. Running into Beron earlier this morning had thrown her off the entire day. She didn’t even finish her workout, opting to sprint home instead as the wind froze her tears. She spent the rest of her day on her pink suede sofa with a broken spirit. 

She picked up her phone, finger hovering over a name that yes, she had become very fond of. There was no shame in admitting that. Before she could talk herself out of it, she dialed Azriel’s number. 

He picked up on the first ring, as if he’d been waiting for her to call. “Elain?”

She sniffed, forcing out a choked, “Hi.” 

“What happened? Where are you? Are you okay?” His voice was the most frantic she’d heard, and her chest squeezed at his concern. A bit softer he said, “I haven’t heard from you today. I was starting to get worried.” 

Elain blinked away tears. “I fucked up my nachos.”

Azriel paused. “What…what do you mean?” She couldn't have been crying over nachos. Not that he would blame her, because messed up nachos would be devastating, but he knew in his gut something was wrong.

“I heated the cheese for too long and I ran out of jalapeños,” Elain blubbered, a hand flat on her forehead. A few teardrops dripped into the dollop of sour cream on her plate.

The sound of her sobs ripped through his chest. He exhaled a breath to settle himself before asking, “Sweetheart, what's going on?” 

“I need you,” she admitted hoarsely, hastily brushing another wave of tears from her cheeks. She didn’t care how desperate she came off. Nothing in the world sounded better than a crunchy snack and the warmth of Azriel’s arms around her body. “Are you busy? Can you come over?” 

It was the first time Azriel had ever been invited to Elain’s home.  He didn’t tell her he’d already gotten into his car the minute he’d heard her cry.

Elain had to physically stop herself from kissing Azriel straight on the mouth as he appeared at her door with a jar of jalapeños. Instead, she flung herself into his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne. He held her tightly, brushing a chilly kiss to the warm skin of her forehead.

“You have no idea how much I needed this,” Elain mumbled into his shirt. The hard planes of muscle beneath the cotton grounded her. He didn’t flinch when she dug the pads of her fingers into his back.

“Me or the jalapeños?” He teased, laughing and gently swatting her hands when she pinched his side. 

“Both,” Elain answered honestly, brown eyes illuminated with tears. He reached out to brush a few away with his thumb. “How can I ever repay you?” 

“Well, you could let me come inside,” He suggested lightly, and she only now noticed the slight chatter of his teeth.

A blush bloomed high on her cheeks. “Oh! Of course, please come in.” 

It was a sight to see, really. Azriel, with his dark hair and tattoos, standing in an apartment that was much more lively than his own home. And it encompassed Elain perfectly. A wide grin painted his cheeks.

A pale pink couch, home to various pink and white pillows. 

White walls, decorated with pink and gold picture frames. 

Bright green plants of various shapes and sizes hung from ceilings, rested on windowsills, or stood in corners. 

“Could I get you something to drink? Water? Wine?” Elain wrung her hands, sheepishly watching as he studied her home. He was smiling, but what was he thinking? 

Azriel turned around, shrugging off his jacket and gently draping it over a chair. His hazel eyes sparkled as he said, “First of all, your home is beautiful. I’ve never seen so much pink.” She chuckled, biting her lip and nodding in thanks. “And I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

Five minutes later, Elain and Azriel found themselves curled up on the sofa under a seafoam green blanket, a heaping plate of nachos between them (generously decorated with jalapeños), sipping Sauvignon Blanc. 

Conversation flowed easily, as it always did. Azriel listened emphatically as Elain described the process of redecorating her home. The process started after Mama died, and when her sisters were homeowners themselves. The apartment had always been bland and mostly devoid of color, save for Feyre’s paintings. 

There’d been shame and anger and resentment at first, watching her sisters buy beautiful homes for their future families. But Sweet Sensations paid well enough to cover the cost of new furniture and a plethora of plants, and the apartment had slowly but surely started to feel like her home. 

Azriel’s heart couldn’t have swelled with more pride. Did she know how resilient she was? Did he know how radiant her smile looked when she talked about her home? The things she loved?

One by one, nachos disappeared from the plate as the skating partners ate and drank and laughed, sharing more embarrassing teenage memories and their fondest moments with family. Every now and then, they paused to watch the hockey game on the television. Elain grinned each time Azriel critiqued a player. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” Azriel asked gently, popping a nacho into his waiting mouth.

Elain sipped from her glass, exhaling through her nose. “I ran into Beron this morning at the track in Autumn.” 

Azriel’s skin prickled. He could only imagine what horrible things he’d said to her. He should have been there to defend her, or at least offer moral support. “Say the word and I’ll take care of it.” 

Elain shook her head, thumb grazing over Azriel’s knuckles. She needed to feel him, his hands or hugs, as much as he needed to press his lips to her skin. “I held my ground pretty well, I think. Until he brought up Mama.” She dug her nacho into the sour cream, licking the remnants from her fingers. “I don’t care if he insults me–.” 

“I do,” Azriel said lowly, nacho breaking in half as he tried to angrily scoop guacamole. “The bastard shouldn’t have even spoken to you.”

Her heart leapt into her throat at the slight edge in his voice. 

“He told me that Mama would be disappointed in who I’ve become,” Elain whispered, using her finger to push the guacamole onto his nacho. Azriel had half a mind to reach over and bring her finger to his lips. 

He understood her words after a moment of silence. “You believed him.” 

“He’s not wrong,” She said after another sip of wine. “I have changed. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s a good or bad change. If I thought Mama didn’t love me then, she surely would hate me now.” 

Azriel drank from his own glass, if only to prevent himself from cursing a dead woman. 

“I just wonder how long I’m going to feel like this,” Elain pondered, swirling her glass. “If all of this is worth it. Having fun…trying to fall back in love with skating…Every day I contemplate whether it’s possible for someone like me.” 

Azriel frowned. He hated that she was having doubts. That people, cruel people who had no qualms about breaking her spirit, put these doubts in her head. 

She needed inspiration, and fast. 

With a kiss to her fingers, Azriel excused himself to use the restroom. Once inside, he locked the door and pulled out his phone. 

The man on the other end picked up after the third ring. “Azriel?” 

“Yeah, hey man,” he said, blowing out a breath. “I need your help.” 

ARTWORK BY @chachachai17: Here

DIVIDER BY: @saradika-graphics

[froggy-demon]

Oh Deer - Part Four

A/N: thank you again for all of the support!! I had to rewrite this one a couple of times because I just couldn’t decide, I hope you like it <3 I’m so excited to share my writings and I’m so astonished every time y’all leave nice comments I love them so much, thank you!! All of that said, enjoy!

Chapter Summery: Lilly is treated to a glamorous night out under the Vs’ roof, accompanied by a familiar demon, angst and tension ensues.

Masterlist | Part Five

——————————————————————————

I rolled my eyes, again, and waved away the idea. “No way, we both know Alastor fucking hates me, he just hates Lucifer more I guess.” Angel was positive that Alastor was sincere in his display earlier, I was not quite as delusional though. “He quite literally said he was fucking around.” I added. Even if I found myself fascinated with the demon, I wasn’t so naive to think that feeling went both ways.

“Maybe, or maybe he just wanted an excuse.” Angel paused and had a look of realization on his face as he broke out into a smile. “If you want some real attention though, y’know the Vs are throwing that big party if Velvette ain’t already dragging you to it you could be my plus one! Val usually keeps me pretty fucking busy all night, but they are actually pretty fun. Lots of cute demons and free booze if you know what I mean!” Angle said with a wink and laughed. That’s not a terrible idea actually, get out a little and have some fun. My streak hasn’t been so great recently so I could really use a win on that front.

“Y’know that actually does sound fun. Velvette hasn’t brought it up at all yet so she probably won’t need me there, but I also don’t have anything to wear for it, I’ll need something new. I could use some retail therapy anyway.” I said and rested my head on top of the pillow in my lap smiling. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Angel lit up at the sound of going shopping.

“Oh I will make sure you are the best dressed demon in the whole fucking party, don’t worry about that tuts! We want something that will show you you off!” He held up his fingers like he was mimicking a camera taking pictures of me. “You got it all babe! The tits, the ass, the smile! They are going to eat you up, especially once I’m done with you!” He ranted making me laugh. I don’t think in my whole before and afterlife I’ve ever heard someone describe me that way. “I’m serious! Al will see what he’s missing tomorrow night!” Angel teased very proud of his scheme.

“This has nothing to do with him, but I do like that idea. As soon as I get off work we need to hit the shops so we still have enough time.” I said trying to plan out the next night. Angel agreed and we worked out the time table to make sure we would stay on track. Work, then shop, then hotel to get ready, then back across town to the party. Excellent, tomorrow night will be all about what I want, it’s been a while since I could say that.

After a couple more hours of giggling and gossip, like hearing allllll about how Husk and Angel made eye contact today and it was riveting, we settle down to fall asleep while the purple lights twinkled above our heads. I tried to calm my mind, but it raced just thinking about tomorrow. This party is for high profile souls, overlords and wealthy demons in hell, hopefully I don’t stick out too much, but I like to think I’ve learned a good amount from my work. Maybe it will be enough to actually go a whole night without thinking about the radio demon, I can only hope.

The next morning there was a renewed joy in my step as I walked down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. It didn’t matter that it was far too early to be awake, or that I was about to be yelled at for the next ten hours of my day, no, I would do it all with a smile because today I actually had something to look forward to. I cozied up in a chair in the lounge with my mug and breathed in the steam while I watched the fire in the fireplace dance.

1-2-click 1-2-click 1-2-click

I can’t help but wonder what makes him need to be up so early, what business could he have at 4am? He walked through the lounge and I tried to hide the fact that I was watching by playing on my phone. I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the sight of him with curious eyes, he was less put together than usual. His ears were tucked back and he wasn’t wearing his waistcoat. It was an odd sighting for him to not have it on. Without it you could see his sleeve garters which gave him an almost rugged look like he had been pouring over his desk for hours, and then you could see his little deer tail. He didn’t greet me and I was not going to be the first one of us to say anything so he passed through the room quietly. After he did, I took another sip of my coffee. Maybe his broadcast had given him some sort of trouble, or perhaps he had been returning to his M.O. from before his absence of torturing souls he saw fit on the air. I don’t care to listen to his broadcasts, when anything important happens I will know either from sinstigram or Velvette yelling about it the next day.

After a few more minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning hotel I cleaned my mug out and made my way to work.

Upon arriving I could tell I was going to have a few extra duties today. They were already decorating the main event space elsewhere in the building, I could tell by the exorbitant number of tables and decor being moved around through the halls, and if there is one thing Velvette loves it is to micromanage how something looks. I go up to the studio and start collecting my clipboard and the ever growing list of what must get done today. Between keeping tv personalities well dressed, reshoots for the launch of Velvette’s fashion line, and now the party I think I’m going to need a second pair of arms. I guess that’s what we have the studio aids for.

“I need the Art Director for Velvette’s line in the studio, we need to confirm details and revisions.” I spoke into my earpiece and waited for confirmation before moving onto the next task and then the task after that. Finally some time later Velvette joined us in the studio and started barking her own orders as well. I joined the collection of demons flocking to her side for their morning abuse.

“Fucking finally, Lilly I need you to make sure everyone to set downstairs before you leave today. Make sure you have the vision plan and everything else I had them work up so you actually know what the fuck you’re supposed to be checking. If a single fucking chair is at the wrong angle it is your fault. Me and Vox have put too much fucking work into this party tonight for it not to look right I need perfection from you today. Even the seven bloody deadly sins are coming so if anything is not exactly the way I fucking pictured it, your leash will become very short.” She ordered and I nodded quietly. “Until then I need the stupid fucking art director for my line up here now!”

“Yes Ma’am. The Art Director is waiting for you with the concept photos for final approval.” I stated. She smiled, not exactly rare, but not exactly common especially while she was working.

“Finally you use that fucking brain of yours to get shit ready before I have to tell you to. How refreshing! In that case find the makeup artists, they keep running off to hell knows what and I’m this close to snapping one of them in half to set a fucking example, ungrateful little shits!” And with that she left to yell at the next soul she could find.

I spoke into my earpiece again, “Creative Director for Events, where are you? We need to check in immediately.” Upon confirmation that they were downstairs in the event space I headed there myself and we went over the binders of planning and inspiration the Vs had laid out. The event hall was really more like a grand ballroom, as hypermodern as the Vs were, it would seem they still found charm in some old world aesthetics. With massive crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, white marble floors, and dramatically draped floor length windows, it nearly looked straight out of a period piece. The colors for the party were blue and black, sounds like Vox won that argument. The tables were being set up with black tablecloths and vibrant blue hydrangeas, I didn’t even know you could grow those in hell. There were demons running all around the space sweeping, bringing things in, decorating the stage, the bar, exchanging the drapes out to match the color scheme.

I checked every chair and table to make sure they were level, every centerpiece for dead flowers and leaves, the stage for splinters, the drapes for snugs in the fabric. “Do we have the staff apparel ready?” I asked the director. She was a short demon who was lizard like with one large eye in the center of her head.

“No, we hadn’t coordinated that yet.” Of course not. I mentally rolled my eyes, luckily costuming was my bread and butter.

“I’ll handle that then, how much staff will there be tonight?” I asked clicking my pen so I could jot in down. 100 serves, 10 bartenders, 5 bands, 45 miscellaneous staff on the floor, okay, doable. “Keep a handle on everything down here, I’ll track all of that down, do not let them fuck it up.” I said and she gave a polite nod. Awesome, 160 coordinated outfits, because that won’t take all day or anything.

I spent a good few hours tracking down various sizes of royal blue suit vests and dress pants, royal blue suit jackets, royal blue button up shirts and black ties, royal blue knee length skirts, shoes, but it was possible with the size of our costuming department. By the end of the day I had neatly organized racks of outfits for each position and each size with a skirt or pants option. Staff was just beginning to trickle in the door and I assigned a few studio aids to help make sure everyone had the clothes they required for the night. Before it was too late I did one last once over of the ballroom. Centerpieces were good, chairs good, all the ambient candles were lit, I could see the bartenders just beginning to organize the bars, the bands were setting up their equipment, I think I might have actually pulled this one off.

I breathe a sigh of relief and I finish triple checking my work. Everything is set in place which leaves only one more thing: myself. I handover to the Event Manager who has arrived for the evening and she thanks me for getting us here, something I’m not very used to hearing. I thank her and text Angel Dust that I’m on my way out the door at work and am heading out to pick out a dress. He immediately texts back that he is on his way to the front of the building as well and we will meet there. I gather myself and get there just as he is.

Angel is in good spirits as he links his lower arm with mine, which is still a bit tall for me, and we start wadding through shop after shop. We know we are on a time crunch, but Angel seems to have something very specific in mind. Finally after trying on at least two dozen dresses and probably half as many shops, when I step out of the dressing room his eyes light up and a big smile spreads across his face.

“Oh baby, that is the one!” He spins me toward the mirror and I can’t help but feel a little self conscious. “You are going to be turning heads all fucking night in this little number! We might need to hire security for you!” I laughed at the idea and attempted to pull the hem down just an inch more. It was a very short black, strapless dress with a wide square neckline and a low back. It came with a pair of matching black elbow length gloves and I could already imagine how I would pair it with accessories at home. He was right though, it looked stunning. It hugged every square inch of my body and admittedly had more cleavage than I was used to as it seemed to defy physics by still being supportive, it was beautiful.

“Angel, it might be too much, I don’t want to go overboard.” I said biting my lip, but I couldn’t stop turning in the mirror to see myself at every angle. Angel grabbed my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror.

“It’s perfect.” He assured. We bought it and took it home with just one hour left to get ready for the evening.

When he stepped out Angel was wearing a black version of his typical suit jacket and shorts, exchanging his pinkish red gloves for a baby pink pair and kept his thigh high boots, he looked incredible and I told him so, he nearly blushed for a second before lighting back up as we walked downstairs.

“Me? Fucking look at you! Little miss straight-laced, you look drop-double-dead-gorgeous tonight!” He beamed, this time it was my turn to blush. I had added a pair of dark tights and my royal blue Mary Jane shoes, with a delicate royal blue ribbon tied around my neck like a choker. I pulled my gloves up a little more to make sure they were all the way on before running a hand through my hair. I hope he is right.

“Thank you Angel, I try my best.” I said sheepishly. Angel instead upon stopping by the lounge where the rest of the group was gathered to say goodbye before we were off. We stepped into the room and I smiled awkwardly as Angel presented me, very proud of his work.

“I give to you, the new and improved Lilly!” He sang and motioned to me. Charlie looked surprised but happy, Vaggie was about the same, but had a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sir. Pentious had a light blush but reassured me that I looked very nice. Husk was trying to hide it, but absolutely eyeing Angel. Niffty squealed with joy and ram little figure eights around us manically giggling about how nice we looked. Alastor was nowhere to be found though. “Where’s the big guy? I said I needed everyone!” Angel frowned.

“Please excuse my tardiness, I too was getting ready for tonight!” Alastor chirped as he walked into the room. He was dressed very well, his suit looked new just for the occasion as it was a slightly deeper shade of red than his normal suit and it was more simple with a short tail coat and a chain across the chest and it had a very faint pinstripe pattern to it. He looked like he had gotten a fresh haircut and maybe it’s my imagination, but even his old cane looked a little fresher to match. As I finished drinking him in I realized his eyes were going over me in the very same way.

“Since when are you fucking going to a party that Vox is throwing?” Angel asked the demon who chuckled.

“Oh I wouldn’t dare miss it, so many important demons and souls there tonight. I couldn’t give Vox the chance to twist a narrative if left to his own devices! Plus,” he pulled a small paper from his breast pocket. “He invited me.” Alastor had a wicked smile on as he stuffed his invitation back into his pocket. Angel gave me a small look that told me this was news to him, as it was to me. I guess Alastor is an overlord and Vox does seem rather keen on him. Even if they are enemies, best to keep him close.

“Well, I guess we should all get going then.” I said and before I could turn towards the door shadows crushed over us and just as quickly as they appeared they dissipated and we were in front of the event room door.

•

As soon as I saw her in the lounge I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Her dress was the most revealing thing I’d even seen draped across her figure. The visual mixing with her timid posing made something within me tick. Every curve was on display, the dress hardly covered her ass as the hem just barely brushed the top of her soft thighs, it scarcely managed to contain her chest if she didn’t have perfect posture it could be quite the display, her exposed back left her looking delicate and accessible. An anger burned in me, traipsing through a gala in such a vulnerable position, she should be locked away from such prying eyes where only I can look upon her form like this, where I can revel in it. The gentle look in her eyes made my mind race. How dare she look like that and yet so innocent at the same time, I wanted to ruin that innocent look, I wanted her eyes to hold nothing but pleasure and lust as I did so. If a soul should so much as hover their eyes over her a moment too long I might have to restrain myself from slaughtering them. As we walked into the event room Angel was quickly called away but Valentino, who blew us a sarcastic kiss from across the busy room. My eyes stayed trained on her though, she would not be leaving my sight tonight whether she knew it or not.

•

Alastor seemed in no rush to find any friends as he walked behind me through the crowded space. Hundreds of demons and overlords and hellish elites mingled around me. I secretly enjoyed his company, but me and Angel had agreed that tonight was about me and as much as I was intregued by Alastor, I knew that went one way. “Alastor, if you are going to accompany me tonight,” I turned and flashed a smile at him. “Would you perhaps be able to hunt down a drink for me to sip on? It’s awfully warm.” I asked, anxiously adjusting my gloves again. He casted his eyes across the room before answering.

“Why don’t you join me, My Dear? We’ll find it together. Then I can brief you on who not to talk to.” He stressed the end of his sentence like it was very important I don’t meet certain souls in attendance tonight. He reached to place a hand on my shoulder blade to guide me forward but I stepped to the side.

“Please Alastor, I’ll find my way to somewhere quiet until you return, I’m a big girl.” I teased a little and batted my eyes at him. I don’t know what his deal was tonight, maybe he had more foes than friends in attendance, but still I know how to get out of a sticky situation when I find myself in one, especially here.

“I insist, I wouldn’t want to abandon a lady at an event like this, who knows what kind of unsavory figure could swoop in.” The static crackled off his voice at the beginning. I felt his hand meet my shoulder successfully. His eyes burned into mine and I felt there was danger that I wasn’t aware of. I gave in and slowed to allow him to guide me towards the bar. It was quite busy and in the crowd my back was nearly pressed against his chest as we walked. I could feel the heat coming off in him, he smelled like fresh rain in the woods. I kept my hands clasped in front of me and kept a polite smile on as we finally reached the edge of the crowd for my drink.

Alastor left my side by less than two steps to order me a drink, I took the chance to look around the room. There were hundreds of finely dressed demons in attendance, a part of me was very pleased to see everyone enjoying the space I had helped to create and so far not a hair out of place.

“For you, My Dear.” He said graciously as he handed me my glass, if I remember the menu correctly this is a mermaid mule, giving it a violently blue color. “Now I think it’s about time we start making the rounds to say hello, don’t you think?” He grinned and placed his hand back on my shoulder blade as we reentered the crowd. It wasn’t really a question that explain answer. I looked up at him from the corner of my eye, he was quite cautiously watching the crowd. I couldn’t tell if he was looking for anyone in particular or not, but his mind certainly had a goal it was focused on.

“Alastor, I appreciate the escort, but really I was hoping to be on my own tonight.” He did not bother to look at me, but he did seem to see someone he wished to talk to as we gently started heading a different way. “I fear you might not be the most suitable wing man.” I teased trying to smile at the taller demon.

“I’m afraid not, besides please allow me to introduce you to the darling Rosie, overlord of cannibal town!” He motioned to the women just a couple of feet ahead of us now. She was tall and remarkably pretty even with her hollowed out eyes and her sharp teeth she managed to look friendly and lively. “Rosie! A pleasure as always!” Alastor sang.

She turned and lit up upon seeing him, waving us over. “Alastor darling, it’s so good to see you! Who’s this little number you brought along tonight? You better keep a close eye on her. I could eat her right up!” Her smile reminded me of his, but it was more sincere. She spoke with a very old dialect, but it left me thinking she ought to be sipping tea on someone’s porch with a novel in her hand. I returned her smile and Alastor introduced us.

“This is Lilly, an associate of mine from Charlie’s hotel.” He said and Rosie gave a small applause.

“It is very nice to meet you Ma’am, I am very lucky to be a resident under the princess’ trust. I hope you are enjoying the evening, I helped put it together, so please feel free to let me know if there is anything at all you need. I am positive we can make it happen.” I offered and she giggled.

“Oh such a sweetheart, you are! What a very nice swaray this is turning out to be, thank you! I can’t imagine need anything not already provided!” She assured me and she and Alastor continued to talk for a few more minutes. I watched Alastor as he did, he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company, it was a nice look on him, but his ears would twitch every so often giving away that he was still on high alert.

Eventually Alastor excused us, in search of another overlord to greet. We repeated this pattern a few times, one even joked that if Alastor was going to keep such a close eye on me he needed to put me ‘under contract’, or he would. I felt Alastor’s claws ever so slightly press themselves a little harder into my skin and his laugh was clipped. Once we had a moment to ourselves again I scanned the room for Angel or Valentino, I hadn’t seen him since our arrival, but with no luck. I did however spot another V. I could see Vox chatting up an interesting looking demon, he was tall and owl like and dressed quite regally, I recognized him as Stolis, rumor had it he did love daytime dramas so I guess I can’t be too surprised.

“Alastor, maybe I should go find Angel, just to check in on him.” It almost felt futile, of course I enjoyed Alastor’s company, and the feeling of his hand sent electric currents through my skin, but it also felt hopeless to think that he was thinking what I was thinking. Thinking about how he had looked so delightfully disheveled this morning, how he might look beneath his well tailored clothes, how the heat of his body might fully wash over mine, how his hand might feel elsewhere. It wouldn’t take more than a couple skilled movement to have me out of a dress like this and I was sure he was skilled. I nearly blushed at just the passing thought.

•

It took all the strength I had to not sink my claws into her. Why did she want to walk away so badly, I have been nothing but the perfect gentleman all evening and still she is not content. I flicked my eyes back down to hers, I could smell a faint scent of attraction from her, how sweet it smelled. Maybe I could use that to keep her close. Clearly she wanted some kind of attention tonight, I could give her a little taste. “Do I bore you? I apologize if meeting so many people was overwhelming, but it would have been rude not to.” I grinned, I allowed my hand to drop to the bottom of her back, just above her dress. “I appreciate your cooperation, truthfully,” I walked us forward and bent down ever so slightly so I could whisper into her ear. I could smell the perfume of her attraction better here, her back was stiff and I could see her chest rise and fall with every deep breath she was taking. “I don’t trust a single soul here to be alone with you, My Dear.” I said, my tone was soft but I couldn’t help the static creeping into my voice. It was true after all, none of them deserved to even lay eyes on her.

She looked up at me with sweet wide eyes, “Is that why, Alastor, you’ve kept me on such a short leash tonight?” She asked. Oh I would love to put her on a leash. “Afraid I might find a new overlord to pester?” She smiled at her own jab. “Don’t worry, I was just hoping to find a little bit of, y’know, company tonight.” Her face flushed softly and felt that pit in my stomach grow.

She wanted some disgusting demon to see her like that, to touch her like that. The idea made me sick, and more so my anger grew. The image of her sprawled out, eyes so innocent and inviting, her hair like the halo she deserved on the pillow beneath her, for someone else? I had to control my anger or before I could explain myself we would be back in the hotel, back in my room, and I needed to be here tonight unfortunately.

And that reason was walking towards us now as my smile widened I was keenly aware of my hand moving to grip Lilly’s waist instead to keep her even closer to me.

•

Alastor’s grip was strong, I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at, surely what I said hadn’t upset him like this. Then it made sense, Vox. While they have been throwing punches from afar via broadcast this is the first time they will have seen each other face to face since Alastor’s return. Vox was in the same suit he always wore, but it at least looked a little better pressed today.

“Alastor! Has anyone ever told you it’s rude not to greet the host.” Vox remarked as he walked into range. “I didn’t think we were inviting just anyone tonight?” He laughed, Alastor produced his invitation from his pocket again.

“Why, you personally signed it. There was a kiss and a heart on my invitation just like you always did.” Alastor remarked, flipping it over between his fingers to prove it, making Vox scowl slightly. I held in a giggle. His annoyed eyes landed on me and I suddenly wanted Alastor’s shadows to whisk me away from here. Work is one thing, I tolerate whatever abuse the other two Vs wish to throw my way as politely as I can to keep Velvette happy, but I’m not working now, and my back is against the chest of the soul Vox might just hate the most in all of hell. The other part of me wants to stand tall, who says I can even rely on Alastor for defense here, he’s so hot and cold with me. “And Vel’s pet, what a combination! I must say Velvette has only had the pettiest complaints tonight so that is as close as a job well down can be for her, congratulations!” Vox held out a hand for me to shake. I wanted to look at Alastor for approval or an excuse, I really wanted to not have to shake his hand, but I did. An acute ringing appeared in my ears.

“Thank you, Mr. Vox.” I said plainly. There was tension in the air between the two, but they both remained polite. It would cause too much of a scene for them to duke it out here in public. I felt the anger pooling in Alastor’s muscles as it felt like he was entirely still, not even feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed behind me anymore. I could feel his eyes bore into me, something I normally treasured, but now I couldn’t shake the animosity that was behind them even if that was not necessarily directed my way.

“I rather think red and black would have been a more flattering theme, but I guess blue is nice to some people.” Alastor quipped, adjusting his suit jacket proudly, Vox’s smile strained.

“It looks to me that someone prefers the blue.” Vox smirked and reached for the ribbon I wore around my neck, but before he could actually make contact Alastor moved us a step back. He held me with a force that threatened the delicate fabric of my dress.

“A gentleman would ask permission before reaching for a lady that way, and concede when she denies. Maybe you yourself are too modern for basic manners?” Alastor teased. His eyes burned bright red, contrasting his airy attitude and smile. I could feel his breath ticking the nape of my neck, under different circumstances I might let myself dwell on that feeling, I knew he was fired up. As bloodthirsty as Alastor may be, he has his values.

“You know I could introduce you to at least twenty demons here tonight who could show you a better time.” Vox couldn’t help but keep the irritation out of his voice as he stood with one hand on his hip, it almost sounded like a threat, I’m not sure if I wanted to know exactly what a good time entails for him. Vox played with Alastor’s protectiveness tonight. Ironically, here was someone who was basically offering me exactly what I claimed I wanted, but now that it’s in front of me and especially coming from him I had no interest. I was repulsed by the idea. I kept my back straight and tried to shake off Alastor’s grip a little, I don’t want to be intimidated by Vox right now. He doesn’t hold any direct power over me more than any other demon here. I’m sick of being pushed and pulled around so much.

“I’m plenty satisfied with my company. I’d like if you left us be now, I’m sure you can find time to taunt Alastor on any other day. We would like to enjoy the night.” I asserted. His plasma smile inverted. He looked like a petulant child being told play time was over.

“You’re welcome to reconsider, I’m sure Velvette would like-“

“Velvette does not care for my company, Mr. Vox.” I cut him off. I held back my shame thinking about her and forced myself to continue. “Goodnight, Sir.” He couldn’t hide his displeasure in my answer, clearly he had wanted to demean Alastor in some way by whisking away his date. He took two steps towards us, leaving just a foot of space in between. Baring his LED teeth he looked down at me.

“You ungrateful bi-”

“Be so kind as to let us get on with our evening wont you?” Alastor cut him off, static crackling off his words, he loomed behind me, his eyes practically begging Vox to push him further. He wouldn’t make the first move, but he wouldn’t step down once Vox did. Without looking past me Vox took a deep breath and straightened his tie returning to his dry smile.

“Enjoy the night. We’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” Vox nodded in my direction with a glint in his eye. I stood in silence as he turned his back to us and rejoined the crowd.

I turned around to face Alastor. Part of me wanted to run away from here, be enveloped in his arms and just dissolve. Another part of me wanted his fingers to find somewhere else they could mercilessly sink into and to free me from my dress as we fell onto his bed. The part of me that won, however, was the part that looked at his angry eyes and smiled, requesting another drink. We could stay here if it meant he would keep holding onto me, if it meant he would continue to be just a step behind me no matter what, if it meant I was the center of his attention for a little bit longer. I knew I might have to pay for my disrespect in the morning, but that felt so far away at this moment. Right now I was safe, I was with Alastor, and that's all I wanted to think about. The ambient candle light danced in his eyes as he looked at me, and as much as he would hate to hear it, the contrast of the rich blue background only made his red hair and eyes look all that much more alluring.

He indulged my request and his grip on my waist was no longer lethal as he guided me to the closest bar in the event room. I ordered my drink and downed it to try to steady my head. Alastor gently hummed along to the band playing while leaning his back against the bar a little, he looked content and for a moment he almost looked like a regular person enjoying his night. If you wanted you could imagine him in life, whatever that had looked like, it was haunting.

“Alastor, would you dance with me?” I asked, unable to keep a smile off my face at his display. He stood up and took one of my hands in his and his grin grew as he gave me a small bow.

“Of course, My Dear, I’d be delighted.” He replied and we joined the dance floor not far away. I was, unfortunately, not a terribly skilled dancer, but Alastor led and I was able to follow. His arm snaked around my waist while the other kept my hand, my free hand rested on his shoulder. His eyes consumed me and I savored it. We had been close all night, but for the first time the proximity felt purposefully intimate. I nearly couldn’t bear the way he looked at me, half lidded eyes slowly raked over my figure before landing back on my own eyes. I wanted him to say something. Beside the fact that I was heavily focused on not tripping over my own feet, my heart raced and I’m not sure I could muster anything worth saying. This was the closest thing I could call a confirmation that he might be thinking what I’m thinking. Maybe he had been all night, maybe that was why he couldn’t let me out of his grip for more than thirty seconds. Or maybe he just liked putting on a show.

I was able to match his steps as we spun around the floor. He had a slightly softer smile playing on his lips. I hoped my nerves weren’t showing through in my smile, I felt like I had it under control, but as I held his gaze I wasn’t so sure my eyes were on my side. “You are a marvelous dancer, no need to worry, you are doing perfectly fine.” Alastor cooed, thinking that must be what’s caused my anxiety. I allowed myself I look past him for a moment to collect my thoughts. I wasn’t even an okay dancer, but it is sweet he would say so.

“I think you are the first dance partner of mine to say that. I stepped on many date’s toes unfortunately in life.” I admitted. Back in my dancing days I quickly fell down the rank of ladies at work to take out, I might be able to make you laugh but that’s about all I was good at on a date.

“Maybe the problem was more so with the partner.” Alastor said and twirled us around. “I seem to have no such problem.” He pulled me ever so slightly closer to him, my chest nearly against his. He was right, I hadn’t actually had much of a misstep at all. He was an excellent dance partner. He knew how to lead and to help me stay in time with him. Alastor gently guided my waist in the direction changes, or gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We were working in tandem quite gracefully.

The song came to an end and I wished it would last just a couple of minutes longer. Alastor released me and gave a slight bow, he was completely serious but I couldn’t help from giggling a little. Such a gentleman tonight. His hand returned to my shoulder blade and we melted into the crowd again. I thought about Alastor more, he is difficult, but it just makes me want more of him. I never know what I will get with him and as frustrating as it is it is also alluring. I pulled up the tops of my gloves a little, just to busy myself, as I caught my breath. I almost felt cold now without the heat of his body so close to mine, even though he was just a few inches further away than he had been it was enough for a chill to sweep through me. I hugged myself a little to compensate and blushed slightly when I realized how pronounced it made my chest. Almost immediately I felt a warm soft fabric cover my shoulders. I looked down at it as I pulled it closer to me and realized it was Alastor’s suit jacket before looking back at him.

“You looked cold, understandable given your attire, we wouldn’t want you to catch a chill now would we?” Alastor offered before I could even question him with a pleasant smile on his face. I smiled back.

“Thank you, though I paid good money for this dress, I ought to show it off. I don’t know when else I’ll ever get the excuse to.” I said and soothed the hem of my dress that just barely came down long enough. I moved to shake off the jacket, but his hand on my shoulder kept me from doing so.

His smile widened. “I think you look particularly lovely just like this!” His voice rang in my ears. Such a protective gentleman. I couldn’t help but to want to tease him.

I shrugged off his hand and his jacket, offering it back to him. “Please, Alastor, I insist.” He begrudgingly took it back and slipped the jacket back on, adjusting his cuffs. I looked up at him with shy eyes as I slowly traced my hands over my silhouette, seemingly to soothe my dress to anyone else. I watched as Alastor’s eyes followed my hands. “Thank you, I think I look rather nice, don’t you?” I asked sweetly. His eyes flicked back up to mine before I spun a little to give him a better look. His grip on his cane became tight. He looked at me like I was prey he was stalking in the forest, absolutely trained on me watching what I would do next. It burned into me and I loved it.

“You look very nice, My Dear. I think you know that.” He said, his voice was clipped, but not dangerous. I smiled. It was fun to get under his skin a little, especially given how he does it to me.

“Maybe, but I was just curious if you also thought so. You look quite handsome yourself, I rather like this suit on you.” I teased and adjusted his lapels a little. I could feel his breath again on the top of my head as I did so and when I looked at his eyes they were glowing a deep ruby color. His hand curled around my wrist, plucking it off of him. I could tell he was trying to decide exactly what to say, so I continued to press him. “Oh, does the touching only go one way? You’ve had your hands on me all night. I thought I might return the favor.” My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at him. My vision darkened and for a moment all I could see was the glowing of his eyes and his crazed grin. When it lightened back up I knew I was back in the hotel, but in a room I had never seen before. My eyes found the forest that looked like it had been patched onto the room and I knew. This must be Alastor’s room.

The confidence I had held just seconds ago evaporated upon the realization. Alastor gently guided my chin so that my gaze was directed back at him. I knew my eyes were wide and my heart thudded against my ribs as I wasn’t sure if I should be terrified or thrilled, or both. His ears were flat against his head as his eyes drank me in one last time. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me tonight.” His voice came out low and no louder than a whisper. One of his arms wrapped around my waist like when we were dancing, but now his claws nearly pierced my skin through the delicate fabric of my dress. He held me close there, I had no answer.

Alastor used his other hand to slowly run the sharp edge of a claw along a path from my jaw, down my neck, over my shoulder, then across my back. My skin hissed at the sensation, it wasn’t even enough to truly break the skin but it sent shockwaves through my system. I stood perfectly still, I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. I wanted him to just tell me, tell me if he craves me the way I crave him or not. I wanted more of his touch, but I was in no position to demand such a thing.

“As soon as I saw your little getup tonight,” He started to explain, deliberately fiddling with my dress’ fabric. “I wanted to whisk you up here, keep you away from any other soul who might see you in such a state.” I felt my face growing increasingly warm as he combed his free hand through my hair. “I didn’t think they deserved such a sight, but I didn’t want to upset you, My Dear, so I settled for keeping a close watch over you.” I melted into his touch as he held my cheek in his hand while he spoke. “I restrained myself then, but you have pushed me too far.” Alastor leaned his head in closer to mine, until our foreheads almost touched. His eyes were still a glowing deep red. “I’ll tell you a secret. All night I have been able to smell the lust pouring out of you, and right now is the strongest it’s ever been. You smell so sweet.” his neck dips even lower and his lips threaten to brush against my neck, the promise of sweet kisses tantalizing close. I could hear the sound of my blood pumping through my veins, I was hyper aware of every inch of my body that Alastor was touching, my muscles screamed for me to do something. Either run away or grab him and never let him go, waiting was torture. “You have to go.”

My mind raced. Alastor wanted me to leave? We were still tangled together, he made no real move to let me leave. My body ached for more of his touch, I desperately wanted more. I didn’t want to leave this moment. “Please, let me stay.” I begged, my voice breathy almost as if I was gasping for air. I didn’t need air, I needed Alastor. He slowly straightened back up and released his grasp on my waist. My skin hissed at the lack of his heat, the dewy scent of him retreating as he took a step back. He did not raise his eyes to meet mine though, instead his voice was low and gravely, charged with static and energy as he commanded me again.

“Leave.” It was not a question. I held myself back from arguing with him and backed away towards the door behind me. His shadows pooled around him on the floor. Some seemed to deliberately run in my direction as if to grab me and pull me back but any time one headed my way another would smack it back. I watched Alastor while my back was still waiting to find the wall. He was not his normal composed self, no this was raw. He almost looked ashamed, yet angry, searching for something to take that out on. I would pray for whatever creature he takes that out on if I thought it would help. The heavy rise and fall of his chest gave away just how agitated he had become.

Finally my back pressed against the wall while my hand began to search for the doorknob. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak, I could barely move. Did I do something wrong? Can I fix it? I don’t want to push him too hard, but it gnawed on me, if I’d caused this outburst I want to make it right. I opened my mouth to call out his name, but before the first letter could fully form a shadow shot out to me, wrapping itself around my throat and jaw. I froze, I’ve been in the position before and did not want to make him more angry. Alastor slowly turned towards me, his breathing was labored and as he lifted his head I could see a gruesome grin on his face.

“I. Said. Out.”

I was forced backwards by the force of his shadow and only was able to disconcert the sound of his door slamming back shut as I realized I was now on the other side of it. I had fallen back from the force and found myself just staring up at his door. I suddenly felt small and alone here. Just a minute ago I had been the center of Alastor’s universe as we danced and now I was thrown aside and shut out. I wracked my brain for what had set him off so terribly.

I remembered his words, he had confessed to being attracted to me, and knowing I was attracted to him, it felt humiliating. I had felt so exposed and vulnerable in that moment, he hadn’t technically rejected me, but it sure felt like he had. My confidence had crashed. I wanted to curl up and die. I also wanted to march back in Alastor’s room and scream at him for making me feel this way, for building me up just to crush me in the end. Hot tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I forced them away. I don’t want to break down, instead I redirected the energy. You want me to leave? I’ll leave alright.

I slowly pulled myself back up and dusted off my dress, fixing myself and taking a long deep breath for comfort.. I cast one last hurt glance back at Alastor’s door and headed downstairs.

Shame, humiliation, and confusion swirled in my mind, perhaps distorting my decision making capabilities. I debated my next move, but I wasn’t in the headspace to think wisely. My feet carried me forward as if the speed of my steps could out pace these feelings. Soon my heels were clicking down the grand staircase outside the front door while my nails dug into my palm, my gloves didn’t protect me. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was walking, but I eventually found myself down an all too familiar path.

I could see the massive glowing light of the Vs’ studio signage even though I was still a solid mile away. It was as daunting as it always was, the blue neon looked like a bruise on the hellish red sky. It was fitting. The place that I looked forward to leaving everyday was suddenly a constant I could cling onto. I knew exactly where I stood here, I knew what to expect, what to do, how to act, who to be. I was thankful for that role, thankful for the rock it gave me to sink my nails into in order to hold onto something, anything, that made me feel better. Here I didn’t have to be myself and everything that entailed, I could simply be Velvette’s errandgirl, someone who did not care what that deer demon was doing back at the hotel right now. Someone who didn’t dwell on whether or not she would be able to bring herself to look into his deep ruby eyes the next time they met. Someone who didn’t miss the way he looked at her back in the ballroom with a playful possessiveness as the candle light danced behind them. No. I would be too busy for any of that.

I straightened out my back when the building came into focus drawing on a polite shy smile.

Quietly, I rejoined the event space. The party had of course continued in my absence, none the wiser to my personal angst. I cast my eyes about the room in search of Angel, unlikely as it was I couldn’t help myself. A friendly face would be nice right now, but no such luck. So I took a step forward, ever still conscious of my looks and of the crowd, and made my way back towards the bar. Alone this time, but the night was just beginning.

Part Five

Tags: @cannibalcoyote

[leehoney0]

hi hi! I was wondering if your requests are open, if you could write either a fic, headcanon or whatever you feel like of Douxie with a blind reader? Like, the reader isn’t fully blind but has extremely low vision. Maybe you can make it a fem reader as well? Thank you and have a good day

Non glasses reader!

Douxie who always has a hand out for you,if theirs steps or a rough walk,he’ll lead you through it.had become a habit of his to reach out that sometimes he does it for other people.

Always grabs onto you during moments of chaos,sees something coming your ways,reaches for you arm or waist to pull you towards him for your safety

And for his heart he honestly could take it if you got hurt!

If due to your low vision,you have any sensitivity to the light he stands in front of you blocking it with his hand.

Douxie always pulling your seat out for you,he always assumes you will sit near him so he can hand anything to you.

But! That doesn’t mean your helpless at all,douxie might help you out her and their but there’s is a reason why you’re there with him,wether its magic like douxie or powers like Jim,you best believe you pull your weight!

You vision might be low but sensing magic was a great ability,you had been blessed with,sense magic was easy for you in battle but objects were a little harder for you.

~

As douxie takes a stand,putting his arm out for you to grab,not hearing the shuffle of your clothes or noise of your movement.turning his head over to you.

Noticing he has his arm out towards Clair,as of he was signaling her to get onto him,a light blush spreads over his cheeks,turning his head around to look for you.

Standing over the where the window was,enjoying the fresh air that was slightly brushing your face,douxie turns over to Clair face completely red as he knew he new habits we just for you!

Glasses reader!

Douxie who always has a pair of extra glasses for you,saving the world is hard when you have to make sure the only thing helping you see could be broken in two seconds!

If y’all work on anything togther he pulls your glasses up for you,pushing them or cleaning them for you when your hands are full.

If ever your glasses get flung in battle,he has a spell so that he can help track them or grab them if they are too far out of your reach.

Douxie will also help you if you break both glasses,fixing them if he can with magic or helping you out with tasks until you fix them.

Trowing out a flirt here and there about how would you live without him! He means it though so don’t hurt his feeling too much!

Will put them on for you when you wake up,lifting you head up from you’re pillow blinking as if that would fix your vision,douxie sliding glasses on behind you ears pushing them up for you.

~

Your head whips to the side from the force of the magic spell that had just cause your glasses to be thrown out of your slight,anger ridden through your clenched teeth.

“Douxie”

Douxie waves his staff around,spewing out some words you heard here and there mainly when he needs to hand you something,glasses landing safely on his palm

Walking over to you,pushing them on your face,fixing them if any of your hair was messed up in the process.smiling up at him a small thanks in the process

Douxie steps back,smiling to himself that you had become so use to his presence that just the say of his name and he knew what you needed,smirk on his face,cheek’s slightly pink.

Thanks for requesting,honestly I don’t know if my request are open,down to just write if wanted,but also sorry if it’s not perfect had a busy week and wrote it when I had time so hope u enjoy!!!!!!

Also have been feeling like my writing has been off a bit so sorry too

[musical-shit-show]

hi, I love the way you write dewey finn so much!! may I request #18 from prompt list 2 and/or “you are terrible at this.” from prompt list 3 for him please?

close enough to touch

Pairing: Dewey Finn x Reader

Inspiration: #18 (“it’s okay, i couldn’t sleep anyways.”) from Prompt List 2 and #36 (“you are terrible at this.”) from Prompt List 3, requested by anon

Warnings: Awkward flirting, fluff

Word Count: 2,370

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long, anon! I was really struggling with this one but I hope you like it! I’ve been meaning to write some post-School of Rock Dewey, and if people like this I wouldn’t mind doing another teacher!Reader one shot. So please let me know if this is something y’all like in the comments and reblogs! Also, check out my Masterlist, Prompt Lists, and About Me page, and submit an ask! It might take me a little bit longer with some requests but I promise to always make those my priority. I’m also working on my Beetlejuice series (to fill the void of course) so hopefully there will be more chapters of that coming soon. Thanks to everyone who’s supported my writing so far and enjoy!

“Don’t look now, but he’s staring at you again.”

“Who?”

“The music tutor.”

You decided to not look up from your coffee mug, the creamer you had just poured swirling slowly. It was the end of your second week at Horace Green, and Mrs. White had quickly taken you under her wing.

The teacher’s lounge was buzzing with activity, since the second Friday of every month meant free pastries from the local artisanal bakery. Apparently incentivizing the molders of young minds with sugar and fat never failed.

You placed an almond croissant on your plate, trying your best to stay discreet, “What’s his name again? Danny?”

Mrs. White laughed lightly, “Dewey,” she said with the smallest hint of disdain, “He’s the one I was telling you about last week. The one who impersonated a substitute last semester.”

Your jaw fell open slightly, and you decided to get another look of this guy. Turning from the spread of baked goods, your eyes wandered over to the other side of the room, where you saw the culprit averting his gaze from your direction.

He was, in a word, unkempt. His clothes were mismatched and ill-fitting; the button-down shirt hiding under his loud sweater vest was about half a size too large, and his dark jeans looked half a size too small. Most of the male teachers at Horace Green typically wore sport jackets and khakis, or at least a tie. Clearly Dewey didn’t get the memo.

His hair was also rumpled, dark brown and wavy and spurting in all different directions. You guessed he had rolled out of bed without running a brush through that mess, let alone even looked in the mirror.

You also noticed a significant amount of stubble growing on his round face, finishing off the whole scruffy vibe he had clearly committed to. He was almost…cute. His eyes were the same color as your coffee, deep brown with a touch of lightness.

“Not to state the obvious, but isn’t that a crime?” you murmured, trying to be discreet as you gossiped with your co-worker.

She answered with an eyeroll. “Of course it is,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. She took it black, two sugars. “But Rosalie—Ms. Mullins—decided to not press charges and hired him instead. Caused quite an uproar, but the students love him, so…”

You peered at him again curiously. Dewey was had just finished scribbling something in his notebook, breathing a heavy sigh as he slouched back into the plastic chair.

“I wouldn’t get involved if I were you,” Mrs. White warned, clearly noticing your interest in him, “From what I’ve heard, he’s nothing but trouble.”

You nodded. “Believe me,” you lied, “I know when to stay away.”

~oOo~

A sigh of relief left your chest the second the final bell rang at 3:15 that day. Teaching 10 and 11-year-olds how to structure essays all day really drained you, no matter how polite and well-behaved they were.

You gathered your belongings quickly and were walking briskly to your car when you heard your name being called behind you. You turned to see Dewey, and you couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows. He was carrying what looked like stacks of sheet music.

One misstep and he’d be picking up papers until sundown. 

“Uh, hi,” he said as he caught up to you, the cold January air making his breath visible. He attempted to extend his arm for a handshake, but retracted when the heaps of music in his one arm began to falter. “I’m uh, I’m Dewey. Or ‘Mr. Finn’ as the kids say, but you can call me Dewey.”

Looking at him more closely, you decided he was even cuter than you first thought. With Mrs. White’s warning ringing in your ear, a part of you wanted to turn the other way, tell him you were in a hurry to get home, make up some excuse to not get involved.

But it was clear he was interested in you, and you’d be lying if you weren’t at least a little intrigued. And besides, it’d be rude to not at least introduce yourself, right?

“Hi, Dewey,” you parroted, giving him another once over. “I see you already know my name.” He was already flushed from the cold, but his cheeks turned a darker shade of pink.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Right, well, I got it from the staff directory. Just…wanted to introduce myself. I teach the kids music after school most days.”

“I know who you are,” the statement came out colder than you intended, “I did see you this morning, do you make a habit of hanging out in the teacher’s lounge?”

He gulped. “No,” he answered, “No, I just…I had a meeting with Rosalie this morning about the spring concert.”

Pure enough excuse. However, Mrs. White had also let it slip that he and Ms. Mullins apparently had a fling a few months prior, which only intrigued you more. What was so special about this guy that he could avoid a criminal trial for identity theft and date his boss in one fell swoop?

“I see,” you said coyly, trying to scrutinize him without being too obvious, “And are you and Rosalie…close?” If Dewey’s face was pink before, it had now turned to an embarrassing shade of scarlet.

“Oh, um, no,” he said, clearly flustered. “Nope. She’s a great…lady. And really cares about the kids. But…no. Not very close.” You nodded, completely unconvinced. You didn’t want to believe the gossip, but with a response like that, how could you not at least consider that it could be true?

Dewey shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his grip tightening on the sheet music. “We kissed,” he blurted, exhaling heavily, “Like, twice. She’s great but…I’m single. Very single.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his honesty. It was oddly refreshing. “Should I be taking that as some kind of hint?” you flirted, smiling softly. You couldn’t care less that your nose and fingertips were growing red from the cold.

“Only if you want,” he said, a shy smile dancing on his lips. Panic overtook his features only seconds later. “I mean, shit, not to be too forward or anything—”

“You know, you are terrible at this,” you said, cutting him off. Dewey flashed an embarrassed grin, letting out another breathy laugh, “How about I just give you my number and we just go from there?”

The two of you quickly exchanged digits and walked to your respective cars separately, unknowingly sharing excited smiles that lasted all the way home.

~oOo~

A few weeks later, you found yourself sticking up flyers for the School of Rock’s annual midwinter concert after the final bell had rung. Dewey had somehow roped you into posting the brightly colored papers on every corkboard, chalkboard, and section of blank wall space in the school.

“I thought you’d be headed home by now,” you heard Mrs. White call from down the hall. You jumped slightly, the haughty timbre in her voice surprising you.

Plastering on your most innocent smile, you turned to face your colleague. “I will be soon,” your voice was dripping with saccharine sweetness, “Just hanging these flyers and then I’m home free.”

She quirked an eyebrow, “Any big weekend plans?” You shook your head, turning back to the wall where you stuck up another flyer. You hoped she would just walk past and be none the wiser.

Mrs. White approached you, skeptical. You were friends, sure, but she was old enough and smart enough to know when someone was hiding something.

And unfortunately for you, as soon as she caught a glimpse of exactly which flyers you were hanging up, it all clicked.

“I thought I made it very clear that Mr. Finn was nothing but trouble,” she said, sounding eerily like a disapproving mother. Despite your heartrate increasing rapidly, you remained calm.

An incredulous scoff left your lips as you placed your free hand on your chest, “Mrs. White,” she rolled her eyes at you using her surname, “I was simply assisting another educator in promoting a fundraiser for this school that seeks to promote the arts and enrich our students’ lives.”

“Did you rehearse that?”

“A little. But I mean it, Mr. Finn has been nothing but professional. We’ve barely even spoken outside of planning the concert.”

That was a lie, of course. The truth was, ever since you and Dewey had exchanged information, you had texted and called and even met up a few times outside of school. Of course, they couldn’t exactly be called dates—at least that’s what you told yourself.

He seemed nervous around you at first, sure, but as soon as you got to know him, that faded away and you were left with a carefree, albeit scatterbrained work buddy. And despite the occasional flirt, it was clear that he wasn’t as interested in you as you first thought.

Which only crushed you the tiniest bit.

Mrs. White glanced at the colorful flyer again, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, “Well, of course I’ll be there to support our students’ artistic endeavors,” she said, a small smirk on her lips, “But don’t think I still don’t have my eye on you.”

You could tell she wasn’t being completely serious, but a small shiver of fear still wracked your spine as she walked towards the exit, the click clack of her pumps echoing on the linoleum tile.

You called goodbye sweetly, playing your role as nothing more than a helpful new teacher who was just excited about music education. Stapling up the last piece of paper onto a mostly bare bulletin board, you couldn’t help but overhear the noise of excited chatter coming from the music room down the hall.

The door was closed, but you managed to sneak a peek through the tiny window to see Dewey chatting with the bassist, who was about the same size as her as instrument. You felt a grin creeping onto your face.

Dewey’s passion for music came out the most when teaching the kids; even after watching him play a gig at the Roadhouse, you never saw his eyes light up more than when he was in that practice room.

You turned away and took a few steps toward the exit when you heard the door creak open, the chatter growing louder before muffling again. “Are you spying on me or something? You’re already getting into the concert for free, ya know.”

Dewey’s voice was more hoarse than usual, the gruffness making your stomach flip. “Not spying,” you teased, glancing over at the bulletin board, “Just doing your job for you.”

He clutched his heart dramatically, “You wound me,” he smirked, “But seriously, thanks for doing this. Hopefully we can drum up some more buzz.” You waved off his praise.

“No trouble. Consider us even since you had to suffer through listening to me babble on for way too long last night.” You two had made a habit of call each other late at night, which only confused your feelings even further. Your brain couldn’t decide if you were just co-workers, friends, or something more.

Apparently, Dewey couldn’t decide either.

“It’s okay,” he replied, running a hand through his messy waves, “I couldn’t sleep anyways.” He bared a toothy smile, wiping his palms on his dark jeans. His casual remark was innocent enough but still found a way to make your heart ache.

You decided the best course of action was to turn the attention away from yourself. “Well, I’m sure you won’t have any trouble with attendance,” you said, referencing the brightly colored flyer again, “From what I hear your kids are incredible.”

He beamed like a proud parent. “Yeah, yeah they are,” he said, “And thank you for spreading the word. Some teachers around here still aren’t too keen on me, after, well…everything.”

You felt yourself frown, your mind flashing to Mrs. White’s warnings. From what you could see, everyone had misjudged Dewey. He was kind, passionate, albeit far less put together than the other Horace Green staff, but he loved teaching and he loved those kids.

Wasn’t that enough to take a chance on?

“Hey,” you said, breaking the silence, “What are you doing tonight?”

“Well, I did have big plans with my couch and a shitty movie, but—”

“You and me. Tonight. Roadhouse.”

“Okay?” he laughed, taken aback by your abruptness.

“And this is a real date, Finn,” you added. “No take backs.” A look of panic flashed across his face, and for a split second you wondered if you had made a terrible miscalculation. But how could you not take matters into your own hands after his weeks of mixed signals?

Before you could open your mouth to apologize profusely for stepping way over that friendship line, Dewey grabbed your arm lightly, pulling the two of you around the corner and away from the only occupied classroom on a Friday afternoon.

And he kissed you.

Softly at first, so gently that you felt yourself melting into the cold painted cinderblock wall as he grabbed your waist. Prep schools weren’t designed to be the most romantic of places, but perhaps that was for the best.

Nevertheless, you let your eyes flutter shut as your lips molded to Dewey’s, your breath hitching in your throat.  After a few seconds he pulled away, a shocked look on his face that surely mirrored yours.

“Sorry,” he muttered, a smirk creeping its way onto his mouth, “Surprised myself with that little stunt, huh?” You nodded as he peeled himself away from you. You instinctively checked your surroundings, but you were alone.

“Dewey, are you insane—”

You wanted to be angry with him for risking both of your jobs, but the fluttering in your heart was overwhelming. One thing was for certain, there was no mistaking that signal.

“I just, I couldn’t wait until tonight,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “But yes. I’ll see you tonight. No take backs.”

You smiled as he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, and watched as he happily sprinted back to his students.

*****

thanks for reading! please like/comment/reblog if you enjoyed!

read part 2 here!

[cowgurrrl]

hi june! 

to say the vibes have been off lately would be an understatement, wouldn’t it? because there has been a lot of negativity, too much for a place that is supposed to be about finding an outlet for your creativity and people to share your interests.

i know it has been difficult, draining to be around here and face all the discourse cankering the fandom. 

because of all this negativity, i believe it is important to try and balance it out with some kindness. so here i am, doing a little check-up on you <3

so first, how are you, really?

everything you feel regarding what is happening is valid and you deserve to feel happy and safe around here. so please, make sure you take the time you need from posting, from sharing fics, even just from being on the platform. i want you to know it’s okay and i support whatever you decide, for whatever reason.

i also want you to know that you have your place here, as much as the rest of us. you’re loved and wanted and i can assure you the fandom is a far better place with you in it.

i hope you’re taking care of yourself outside of tumblr as well. please remember to stay hydrated and to eat something 🫶🏼

now i would like you to sit back and enjoy the perfect, quiet night in with joel <3

do not hesitate to reach out if you need to talk, i’m here for you! sending you all my love and so many hugs 🫂

anna 💗

Hi sweet Anna!!

The vibes have been ✨off✨ and I keep seeing people talking about discourse but I honestly have no idea what’s going on so I’m just in my own little lane like ✍️🥸 but I’ve been busy with grad school (and my 12,000 words worth of essays due all within the same week), trying to figure out my living situation for the fall, managing my mental health, work, and all that good stuff so I haven’t been able to churn out fic like I used to and feel a little bad about that but it’s all in my head (more or less)

I’m also just trying to remind myself that this is a hobby and it’s fun and I, obviously, love getting to share my work with y’all but it takes countless hours researching, brainstorming, writing, re-writing, editing, formatting and posting on top of what I’m already researching and writing for school and for my own personal fulfillment (be it poetry, prose, shitty diary entries, etc.,) and trying not to get discouraged if I don’t get as much interaction on it and just being happy it exists and is out there so it’s a balance and one that I’m not always the best at managing!! Thank you for checking in, honey, and I hope you are handling this stress much better than I am lol

[sammystuffies]

Positive honeycraft rant

If y’all haven’t heard of honeycraft, it’s a vanilla SMP I am in with 11 others, most are here on tumblr! And earlier this month we celebrated one YEAR of our little corner of the Minecraft community, and as a holiday gift to them I wanted to share my thanks to them!

Honorable mention:

@12u3ie who isn’t a part of the server but our honorary member! We love ya 12 /p

Members:

@stormjay0 is currently on hiatus but will not be spared by my appreciation. Her content is so enjoyable and very underrated, the two of us are the chaotic braincells of the server. In the best way of course!

@exnoh is pm the only boy on the server and we love ya for it buddy xD seriously though he does his best to make it to meetings like everyone else but it’s hilarious because he’s muted the entire time and doing his own thing. Also his sona is so fun to draw sometimes.

@mixinu and @mgeekingout are the equivalent of cookies and milk, in the chaotic good way. I honestly can’t tell you how much these two are made for each other it’s adorable, they are both extremely talented artists and it drives me insane /pos

@sweetest-honeybee our beloved admin! Despite having almost no prior experience in being the admin back in s1 you couldn’t tell! She’s honestly the best base buddy I’ve had so far and the story we are making together with our terrible skits is cringey yet kinda engaging lol! Also we enjoy just talking about mcyt in general 😌

@fluffy-papaya is our current admin for this season and they are doing a great job! If you love lore PLEASE go and look for their videos because they are so good. Me and fluffy are the two biggest pranksters on this server, and we tend to prank each other sometimes lol

@redwinterroses isn’t on often but she is NUTS! 2 Smps AND still going to school, working, AND writing?? She’s crazy XD in all seriousness though I can never get enough of hanging out with Red.

SCPOwo and Faren, owo doesn’t have a tumblr and idk about faren so woops, but anyways owo is our pun loving friend (me too) as well as our local eldritch horror, no lore or videos, Just here for fun like me! Faren is the chill person on the server and honestly I want to hang with them more often, we get along really well!

@lelilawesell is one of our two new members who joined in the beginning of s2 and in skizzlemans words “friendship Jedi master” immediately when I met them I knew she would be a great fit for this fun server and I wasn’t more right. Also has one of the best laughs imho.

And last but definitely not least we have pistachio/Tashi! Our other new member is writing some amazing lore as well and is a great builder! After bee introduced her to our little server it would only make sense to have her join as well, also we both are good at improv lore. :D

That’s about it! Of course there’s so much more I want to say about them because being on a server with these amazing people is a dream, and even if some of them aren’t on often it makes those small moments even better. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year on honeycraft and I’m excited to see what the future will bring 💙

Happy holidays everyone, hope things are going well :)

[kmomof4]

A Mistress to No One Part 1 Ch3

We are back with the final chapter of Pt1!!! Killian certainly has his work cut out for him, trying to find his lady! Will he succeed? Well... eventually he will... I am so glad y’all are enjoying this fic so much and hope you continue to do so!

All the love and hugs to the ladies who had something to do with the creating of this fic, @hollyethecurious for the inspiration of adapting her favorite Bridgerton sibling, Benedict, to a CS fic, @jrob64 and @zaharadessert for their betaing expertise, @motherkatereloyshipper​ for her manips of Emma, Killian, and Cora in the artwork, and finally to @kymbersmith-90​ for answering all my questions about titles and royalty! Love you all, ladies!

Summary: Bastard Emma Swan enjoys one night of pure magic and romance in the midst of a life of drudgery and abuse- attending a masquerade ball and meeting aristocrat Killian Jones. 

Two years later, the same man she met on the best night of her life reappears, saving her from a dire fate in the process. Now, she must keep herself from falling in love with a man she can never have. But when that proves impossible, is there any hope for a happy ending between two people from such vastly different worlds?

Rating: M (smut in a later ch)

Words: 4100 words of approx 61,6K

Tags: Birthday Fic, Inspired by Benedict’s Story in Bridgerton, Smut

On ao3 from the beginning/ current ch

On Tumblr Prologue Ch1 Ch2

New Tag List! Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

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More than one masquerade attendee has reported to This Author that Killian Jones was seen in the company of an unknown lady dressed in a blue gown.

Try as she might, This Author has been unable to ascertain the lady’s identity. And if that is the case, you can be sure, it is a closely guarded secret, indeed.

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

May 31

~*~*~

“Do you recognize this crest?” Killian asked his mother, before he even sat down in the pale green and soft pink drawing room where she received visitors.

She took it from him and only glanced at it before she nodded definitively. “Glowerhaven.”

“As in ‘Earl of’?” he asked, eyebrow raised in inquiry.

Alice nodded. “And the S would be for Spencer. The title passed out of the family some time ago, I believe,” she added. “The Earl passed without issue, but he had no close blood relative, so the title went to some distant cousin. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you failed to dance with Mary Margaret last night,” she scolded. “You were lucky your brother was there to dance in your stead.”

Killian rolled his eyes and tried to bring her back to the issue at hand. “Who, then, is SLS?”

Alice’s green eyes narrowed. Killian couldn’t meet her perceptive gaze. It reminded him too much of another pair of green eyes. “And why are you so interested?”

He tried to turn his brilliant and disarming smile on his mother, the one that he could usually rely on to get him out of trouble, but her countenance remained unmoved, her eyes narrowing further. Killian sighed.

“I don’t suppose you might just answer my question without posing one of your own,” he asked.

Alice snorted, lifting a delicate hand to her face. “You know me far better than that,” she countered. Her gaze sharpened and her eyes narrowed even further. “Who does the glove belong to, Killian?”

It was obvious she was already putting the pieces together in her head and he knew it’d work out far better for him if he just told her everything. He dreaded sharing these details with his mother. She tended to latch onto anything that even hinted at matrimony and cling to it with the tenacity of a barnacle on a ship. But he had no choice. Not if he wanted to find her.

“I met someone at the ball last night,” he finally said.

Alice all but bounced in her seat and clapped her hands in delight. “Really?”

“She’s the reason I forgot to dance with Mary Margaret.”

“You’re forgiven.” Alice looked like she might die of rapture. “Who? One of Glowerhaven’s daughters?” Her brow furrowed. “No, wait. He didn’t have any daughters. He had two step-daughters. Although…”

“What, Mother?”

“Oh, nothing really,” she replied, waving aside his question. “Having met the girls, I wouldn’t have thought you’d…” she trailed away, uncertain. “But, of course, if you are, I will invite the dowager countess over for tea. It’s the very least I can do.”

Killian started to speak then stopped when he realized his mother was frowning again. “What now?” he asked.

“Oh, well…” she took a deep breath and cut her eyes over toward him. Killian tried to rein in his impatience, raising his eyebrow in question.

“Spit it out, Mother.”

She smiled weakly. “It’s just that I don’t particularly like the dowager countess. I’ve always found her to be a bit pretentious, mean-spirited, and ambitious.”

Killian tried to smother his amused smile. “One might consider you ambitious, Mother,” he pointed out.

Alice looked affronted. “Of course I have great ambition that my children marry well and happily, but I am not the sort to marry my daughter off to a 70 year old man simply because he was a duke!”

Killian wracked his brain for a moment. He couldn’t recall a 70 year old duke making a trip to the altar lately. “Did the dowager countess do that?”

“No,” Alice admitted. “But she would.”

Killian bit back another amused smile as Alice continued, pointing to herself with great flourish. “While I, on the other hand, would allow my children to marry paupers if it would make them happy.” Killian raised an eyebrow at her. “They would be well principled and hard working paupers, make no mistake,” she explained. “No gamblers need apply.”

Killian didn’t want to laugh outright at his mother, so he coughed discreetly into his handkerchief instead.

“But I will put aside my feelings for the dowager countess if you care for one of her daughters.” She paused and looked at him intently. “Do you care for one of her daughters?”

“I’ve no idea,” he shrugged. “I never got her name. Just her glove.”

Alice gave him a stern look. “I’m not even going to ask how you obtained the lady’s glove.”

It was all Killian could do to keep from scratching behind his ear. She’d latch onto that tell before he could even blink. “It was all completely innocent, I assure you.”

Her expression was extremely dubious. “I have far too many sons to believe that.”

“The initials?” he reminded her.

She held the glove up, examining it closely. “It seems quite old.”

Killian nodded. “I thought the same. And I thought it smelled rather musty, as if it had been packed away in an attic.”

“And the stitches show wear,” she continued. “I don’t know what the L is for, but the S could very well be for Sarah, the late Earl’s mother, who has also passed on. Which would make sense given the age of the glove.”

“As I’m quite certain I wasn’t speaking to a ghost last night, who do you think it might have belonged to?”

Alice shook her head. “I have no idea. Someone in the Spencer family, I suppose.”

“Do you know where they live?”

“Of course. They live in Spencer House, just a few blocks away. The new earl hasn’t given them the boot yet. No idea why.” She gave him directions and such was his haste that Killian was already on his feet and halfway to the door before she finished.

“Oh, Killian,” she called as he reached for the door. He turned back around.

“Yes, Mother?”

“The daughters are Zelena and Regina. Just in case you’re interested.”

Killian’s brow furrowed slightly. Neither seemed to really fit. But what did he know? He reached for the door again.

“Killian.” This time his name was drawn out a bit and Killian turned to his mother again with a beleaguered sigh. Her smile was quite amused.

“You will tell me what happens, won’t you?”

“Of course, Mother.”

“You’re lying to me.” She waved at him dismissively. “But I forgive you. It’s so nice to see you in love.”

“I’m not…”

“Whatever you say, dear,” she interrupted.

Killian decided there was little point in replying, so he finally left his mother’s drawing room and hurried out of the house.

~*~*~

“Emmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaa!” Cora screeched.

Emma’s head snapped up from where she was polishing a silver spoon. As ladies maid to Cora, Zelena, and Regina, polishing silver shouldn’t have been on the list of Emma’s chores, but Cora delighted in never giving her a moment’s rest and working her fingers to the bone. She set the spoon down and moved to the door of the room, looking this way and that for her mistress.

“Emmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa!” Cora screeched again. Emma couldn’t imagine what had her in such a tizzy, but it was hardly infrequent behavior. Cora was always angry about something.

“I’m here,” Emma called, still unable to ascertain where Cora was.

She finally came around the corner holding something in her hands. “What is the meaning of this?”

She held it up and all but thrust it in her face. Emma gasped in shock when she recognized the slippers she’d worn to the ball the night before. “These are brand new! Brand new! I have never worn them! And they have a scuff mark. How could this have happened?”

Emma’s eyes widened as she thought frantically for some lie Cora might believe.

“I have no idea, my lady.” Cora’s eyes narrowed at her. “Perhaps you accidentally scuffed them yourself as you passed them in your closet?”

“Someone has worn my shoes and I want to know who.” Her voice was low and deadly calm and Emma’s mouth went dry.

“I can ask one of the maids,” she tried to placate her. “See if they know anything.”

“The maids are a bunch of idiots.” Emma waited for Cora to say Present company excluded, but of course, she did not.

“I can try to get the scuff mark out,” Emma offered. “I’m sure I can figure something out.”

“You do that,” Cora huffed. “And while you’re at it, you might as well polish all my shoes.”

“My lady?” The butler entered and Cora spun around to face him. “There’s a gentleman to see you.” He handed her a crisp white card. Emma watched as Cora’s face turned from stunned surprise to pure delight.

She turned to the butler barking out orders. “Tea, and biscuits! The best silver! At once!” The butler hurried out leaving Emma with Cora.

“May I be of any help?” Emma ventured.

“What?” Cora looked a bit confused at Emma’s words, almost as if she’d forgotten she was even there. “No, of course not. I have no time for the likes of you. Go. See to my shoes.” Emma curtsied and hurried to the door. “Oh, be sure that Zelena and Regina are properly dressed. And then you may instruct Zelena to lock you in my closet.”

Emma’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“Do you understand me?”

Emma couldn’t even bring herself to nod. Some things were just too demeaning.

Cora stalked over to her until their faces were only an inch apart. “You didn’t answer. Do you understand me?” Emma nodded, but just barely. Every day there was some new evidence of just how deeply Cora’s hatred for her ran.

“Why do you keep me here?” Emma whispered before she could think better of it.

“Because I find you useful,” was Cora’s dismissive reply. She spun away, leaving Emma pale and trembling in her humiliation and fear.

She climbed the stairs and found Zelena and Regina in the parlor. Both of them looked quite acceptable to her, and so she sighed and approached Regina.

“Lock me in your mother’s closet, if you will, please,” Emma asked quietly.

Regina gasped. “I beg your pardon?”

Emma sighed. “I was told to ask Zelena, but I can’t quite bring myself to do it.”

Regina’s face was pale with dismay. “And what are you supposed to do there?” she asked.

“I’m to polish all of your mother’s shoes.”

“I’m sorry,” Regina said, sincerely.

“I am, too.”

~*~*~

Killian had been waiting in Lady Glowerhaven’s parlor for fifteen minutes now. He huffed with impatience, absently patting his pocket to confirm that the mystery lady’s glove was still inside. Why others didn’t value punctuality the way he did, he’d never know.

His gaze wandered around the room, taking in the fussy and ostentatious furnishings. From what he’d heard from his mother this morning, he wasn’t terribly surprised. Appearances seemed to be overly important to the countess.

He finally heard footsteps coming down the stairs and rose to greet his hostess. A woman in her forties swept into the room. Her emerald green dress complimented her auburn colored hair nicely, but as she held out her hand to him in greeting, he noticed the deep lines around her lips, eyes and across her forehead that her makeup just couldn’t hide. There was a gleam in her eyes that told him she was delighted with his presence, but there was a cunning, grasping, desperate quality to it as well. It was a bit unnerving. He decided his mother’s summation of the dowager countess was spot on.

“Mr. Jones,” she gushed, “How lovely for you to honor our home with a call.”

“Lady Glowerhaven,” he greeted her, taking her outstretched hand in his and bowing slightly over it. “It is very nice to meet you.”

Her smile was wide and made him think of a barracuda. “I’ve informed my daughters of your presence and they should be down shortly.”

Killian nodded. He hadn’t expected anything different. Why else would an eligible bachelor be visiting the home of unmarried young ladies? “I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

The countess’s brow furrowed. “You haven’t met either of them yet?” she asked.

Killian cursed himself. Now she’d be wondering why he was here. It wasn’t exactly common practice to call on someone to whom one had not yet been introduced.

“I’ve heard so much about them, I thought it was high time I met them in person.” He may have scrambled for an explanation, but he was rather proud of how smoothly the words flowed off his tongue.

“Of course,” she agreed. “My Zelena is considered one of the beauties of the season.”

Killian nodded his head in acknowledgment of her words. “And what about Regina?”

The lines around the countess’s mouth tightened and she hesitated a moment before speaking. “Regina… is lovely, of course.” She sent him a smile that told him she thought the exact opposite of her words in relation to her other daughter. Killian felt his distaste for the countess grow by the second. A mother who clearly favored one daughter over another, shouldn’t be a mother.

“I’m very much looking forward to meeting Regina,” he said, curious as to what her response would be. She sent him another tight smile as a servant came in with an elaborate tea service.

Cora huffed indignantly as she looked at the service and hissed at the maid. “I believe I asked for the best silver to be used.” She shot him another smile, but this one seemed more embarrassed than annoyed. Killian could barely keep himself from rolling his eyes.

The poor maid’s face lost all color and she stammered as she spoke. “Em- Emma was polishing the spoons when you sent her upstairs, milady.”

“Silence,” the countess hissed again. “I’m sure Mr. Jones isn’t too high and mighty to be concerned with the monogrammed spoons.”

“Of course not,” he assured her, with a smile at the maid. Her smile in return was shy, but a bit relieved. His attention returned to the countess, whom he thought must be a bit too high and mighty to even consider using monogrammed spoons.

“Begone,” she said to the poor girl. The maid bobbed a curtsy and left quickly. The countess leaned in conspiratorially. “Our better silver has the Glowerhaven crest on it, but the infernal girl can do nothing right, so it’s unlikely to be in any condition to be seen by guests.” She sighed dramatically. “It is so hard to find good help these days. I’m sure your mother says the same thing all the time.”

Killian hummed in response. His mother had never said anything of the sort. Because the Jones servants were treated very well and were utterly devoted to the family.

“One of these days, I’m just going to have to get rid of Emma,” the countess huffed. Killian found himself feeling sorry for the unknown Emma, and couldn’t help feeling like she could do much better than working in the Glowerhaven household. But he wasn’t going to get drawn into a discussion of servants.

“I imagine the tea is well steeped by now,” he observed.

“Oh, yes,” the countess agreed. “How do you take yours?”

“Milk, no sugar, please.”

As she prepared his tea, he heard the countess’s daughters finally descend the stairs. As soon as they entered the room, he knew neither was his mystery lady. The taller one had flaming red hair and had a rather affected manner, much like her mother, and the other had black hair. He tried to not let his disappointment show as their tea was prepared.

“I very much enjoyed your ball last night, Mr. Jones,” Zelena offered once she’d settled on the couch with her tea.

Killian nodded in response. “Well, it was more my mother’s ball, I had nothing to do with the planning of it, but I shall convey your compliments.”

“Please do,” she replied. “I noticed you spent some time with a particular lady. She wore a blue gown.”

The countess’s head snapped toward her daughter so hard and so quickly, Killian was amazed her neck didn’t crack. Zelena’s eyes were intense as she stared him down.

Killian tilted his head in question. “Did you, now?”

“Yes,” she persisted. “What was her name?”

“I never got it,” he admitted. “She left the ball before the unmasking.”

“Did she?” the countess asked, her eyes narrowing.

Killian rose before anything else could be said. There was no point in prolonging the visit. The countess had no other eligible daughters and there were almost certainly no Spencer cousins that the glove might have belonged to, since the title had passed out of the family and gone to a distant cousin.

“I’m afraid I must be going,” he said, with a small bow.

“Oh, so soon?” the countess asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “My mother is expecting me. It was lovely to meet you all,” he lied smoothly. He lightly shook the countess’s hand, then did the same with Zelena, before bowing over Regina’s and bringing her hand to his lips, just for the pleasure of seeing the countess’s face redden with indignation.

As soon as the door shut behind their guest, Cora turned to her daughters.

“What do you suppose that was all about?” she asked, her face a mask of contemplative confusion.

“I suppose…” Regina began.

“I didn’t ask you,” Cora snapped.

“Well then, who did you ask?” Regina asked, showing uncharacteristic fortitude in talking back to her mother.

“Perhaps he saw me from afar…” Zelena offered.

“Don’t be a fool, Zelena,” she bit out. “He didn’t see you from afar.” Zelena gasped. Her mother never spoke harshly to her. “You said he spent time with another lady last night.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“No buts. He was here for a reason.” Cora pulled back the sheer curtains near the door to see Killian standing on the sidewalk holding something in his hand. “What is he holding?”

“It looks like a glove.”

“It’s not a glove,” Cora replied without thinking, too used to contradicting anything Regina had to say. “Why, it is a glove.”

“I should think I know a glove when I see one,” Regina muttered.

“What is he looking at?” Zelena asked.

“Perhaps a bit of embroidery?” Regina speculated. “We have gloves with the Glowerhaven crest on them. Perhaps this is the same?”

Cora went white.

“Mother, are you alright?” Zelena asked. “You’ve gone very pale.”

“He came here looking for her,” Cora whispered.

“Looking for who?” Zelena asked.

Cora’s patience was nearly at an end and she rounded on Zelena. “The woman in the blue gown he was with last night, you clot!” she screeched.

Zelena’s shock at her mother’s treatment was complete and she could think of nothing to say.

“Well, she obviously isn’t here as none of us were wearing a blue gown last night,” Regina commented.

Cora remained contemplative, her brow furrowed as she connected the pieces. “My shoes. My brand new shoes were scuffed. Someone wore them. It had to be her. How did she do it? It had to be her,” she repeated. She pushed past her surprised and confused daughters and rushed from the room.

~*~*~

Emma was on her knees in the closet when the door flew open and crashed against the wall. She screamed, placing her hand over her heart, hammering in her chest with fright.

“Pack your things,” Cora growled.

Emma’s eyes widened in alarm. “My lady?” she asked, her words and the tremor in her voice betraying her confusion. “Why?”

“Do I really need a reason?” she barked. “It is enough that I want you out of my house.”

“Where will I go?” Emma asked, confusion giving way to fear beginning to creep into her words.

“That’s not really my concern now, is it?”

“But…”

“You’re twenty-one years old,” Cora interrupted. “More than old enough to make your way in the world. There will be no more coddling from me.”

“You never coddled me,” Emma muttered under her breath.

“How dare you speak to me like that!” Cora exclaimed.

“And why shouldn’t I?” Emma shouted. “You’re kicking me out of the house anyway. Why have you kept me here anyway?”

The haughtiness on Cora’s face made Emma physically ill. “You’re cheaper than a regular ladies maid, and I do enjoy ordering you about.” Cora’s smile was cruel and Emma swallowed hard. She was serious and Emma looked around, trying to swallow down her sudden fear and nausea. She may have hated Cora and her life, but at least she had a bed to sleep in and food to eat. Granny was a friend, and Regina was nearly so. Where would she go? What would she do? How would she support herself?

“You were there, weren’t you?” Cora asked, suddenly. “You were at the masquerade last night. You were the lady in blue.”

Emma’s heart stopped. How did she know? How could she have possibly found out? Emma shook her head in denial. “No,” she lied.

“I don’t know how you did it, but I know you did.” Cora continued speaking as if she didn’t even hear Emma. She kicked the shoes from last night toward Emma. “Put them on,” she demanded.

Emma stood, with as much dignity as she could muster and put the slippers on. They were, of course, a perfect fit.

“How dare you!” Cora seethed, marching closer until only inches separated them. “I told you to never even think that you were one of us. That you were nothing but a bastard and not fit for polite society. And yet you dared to defy me and attend the masquerade ball last night.”

Emma had had enough. Her fury at all the mistreatment and abuse she’d endured for so many years bubbled to the surface and Emma let it loose, not caring at all anymore.

“Yes, I dared,” she seethed. “And I had every right to. I am the earl’s blood, so I am just as good as you and my heart is far kinder…”

Emma was suddenly on the ground, her cheek stinging where Cora had slapped her.

“Don’t ever compare yourself to me,” Cora raged. “You are to be gone by morning.” And with that, Cora turned on her heel and walked out of the closet, locking her in again.

Emma looked around at the rest of the shoes in the closet. There was no way in hell she was going to continue polishing all these shoes. She’d simply wait here until someone came looking for her and released her from the closet. She thought about her next steps and her chin trembled as she tried to hold back her tears.

In all the years she’d worked for Cora since the earl’s death, she’d never seen a single pound in wages. She’d received a bit from her father while he was still alive, that she’d never spent, always knowing in the back of her mind this day might come. But that money wouldn’t last long. It might not even be enough to get her out of London, and there was no way she could remain here. She wouldn’t be able to find work without references and Cora would never give her one. Plus, there was the fact that Killian Jones was in London. And as unlikely as it was she’d ever see him again, she couldn’t take the chance that if she did, he might recognize her. And if that were to happen…

She couldn’t take the chance. Her eyes landed on a pair of shoes she’d already polished. On the toes were a pair of jeweled clips that could detach from the shoes. Cora never wore anything that wasn’t real jewels, even shoe ornaments, so there was no doubt these clips could fetch a decent amount. Enough to get her out of London.

Emma thought of all the money Cora had at her disposal and how she’d never paid her a single wage in all these years. And then she thought about her conscience. Could she possibly? Emma stuffed that voice down. This was about survival. In circumstances like these, she had no use for that voice.

She took the clips and slipped them into her pocket.

Many hours later, when Regina came and opened the closet, Emma packed her few belongings, bid Granny and Regina goodbye, and left Spencer House forever.

To her surprise, Emma didn’t look back.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing! Part 2 will begin on Sunday and I’ll be updating weekly thereafter!

[saiwestfield]

Ooo wow can’t believe I forgot to post this here lmao

Here it is! Hope y’all like my recreation of an old drawing from some time ago. Enjoy my goofy goobers. [IF YOU’RE HAVING A HARD TIME READING MY HANDWRITING SCROLL DOWN]

Can you find the convo happening in the quotes

you might not see some of my work for a few weeks but I’ll be back!

Here’s the old version! Look at how far we’ve come in just a year!

And yes Blue’s middle name is Stanley now! (Again) it actually used to be Stanley for like a year until I changed it but with help from some friends I ultimately decided that I liked Stanley better (no TSP jokes pls)

Text in the drawing:

Charlie C. R.

- 10-12 years old

- Late bloomer

- Chaos child

- Impulsive

- Energetic

- Smarter than people think

- Loves messing with family members

- Soccer/football

“Ooh! I want a party with bats!”

“Fine… I’ll share my garbage sandwich…”

“I’ll start a revolution if I want!”

Edward Fredrick R.

- Late 30’s

- No magic

- Not the best at what he does but he’s trying

- Emotional expression is not his forte

- Pretty metaphorical

- Writes happy little stories in his spare time

“I’ve only been inside for nine weeks I swear!”

“Charlie do I really have to explain that you’re not having bats…”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS THERE ARE NO BATS!!”

Caleb Stanley R.

- 8-10 years old

- Fire Powers (uncontrollable)

- Golden Child

- Sensitive

- Quiet in unfamiliar situations

- Has a bunch of knowledge but doesn’t know how to use it

- Unknowingly takes part in messing with family members

- Baseball & piano

“Why must we be so emotionally repressed?”

“Charlie, don’t eat that glowing tomato!”

“Phew, I’m glad I don’t have the option of having bats, they scare me!”

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning! I hope y’all are enjoying your favorite morning wakeup beverage, I know I am. My first cup of the magic elixir know the world over as coffee is sitting next to me and it’s delicious. ☕️

I’m not using my “normal” workflow this morning. Instead of using a combination of Tot and the Micro.Blog app on my iPhone I’m using the wonderful MarsEdit from my Mac. Believe it or not, it feels kind of weird to be doing it this way. But, MarsEdit is such a wonderful tool. Happy to have it. Here we go!

Iconfactory

News quickly spread on Twitter and Mastodon that a wide range of third party apps like Twitterrific, Tweetbot, Echofon, and many others had been disabled. Strangely, Twitterrific for macOS continues to work normally. We cannot say for certain why some clients are unaffected, but it seems possible that there is a new (seemingly unstated and unannounced) policy that is only being applied to apps with large numbers of users.

As of this writing Twitterrific is still blocked from connecting to Twitter. Good old Elon, Mr. Free Speech, is being spiteful and blocking third-pary apps from working. It seems it’s only the third-party apps with the biggest user base.

So far Twitter hasn’t explained why they did it. Spite, I’d imagine.

Oh, it’s worth noting that Twitterrific is the granddaddy of all Twitter clients and while working on it the word “tweet” was coined. They definitely made history. Ollie, the little bird at the right, is Twitterrific’s mascot and in many ways has become synonymous with Twitter.

I’ve been a Twitterrific user for years and years and I have enormous respect for everyone at The Iconfactory and wish them all the best. ❤️

Pitchfork

The Grammy-winning rock guitarist Jeff Beck has died, his family announced. “After suddenly contracting bacterial meningitis, he peacefully passed away yesterday,” the family shared in a statement. “His family ask for privacy while they process this tremendous loss.” Beck was 78 years old.

Another legend gone before his time. RIP Mr. Beck.

The Guardian

Joe Biden said the situation in Brazil was “outrageous” after supporters of former president Jair Bolsonaro invaded the country’s congress, presidential palace and supreme court on Sunday, with some senior US lawmakers calling for the far-right figure to be extradited from the US.

Of course Bolsonaro took a page from the Trump Playbook of Stupidity and encouraged his supports to try to overthrow the government. The world looks to the United States for direction. TFG is a real asshole and has put democracy around the world at risk. Both men will get their just deserts someday.

Douglas Hill

In an iOS app, it’s technically fairly easy to also use code written in C, C++, Objective-C, Objective-C++ or JavaScript. In this article, we’ll look at how to call JavaScript code from Swift using JavaScriptCore. As an example, I’ll go through the steps of adding a JavaScript dependency to my iOS reading app to remove tracking parameters from URLs.

Really nice piece by Mr. Hill. I would love to integrate Read Later into Stream someday and it would also be wonderful to embed Readability JavaScript into Stream to make that happen. It would also help standard RSS feeds because many only include a snippet of the full article text. Having Readability support would allow Stream to parse the text of the original web page so you’d get the full article in the article view. Just one of many things I’d love to so.

Raw Story

The wife of a 2020 Iowa Republican candidate for Congress has been arrested and accused of filing 23 fraudulent votes for her husband, reports Business Insider.

If you want to know what the GOP is guilty of on a daily basis just listen to the things they scream about the most.

Seems they like to cheat at elections, among other things.

Goto 10

So I knew I wanted something different. It turns out that a new OS had been getting a big marketing push: IBM OS/2 Warp. This was v3 of OS/2 and let’s get into its history a bit.

I heard this a lot when I was part of Visio. A gentleman approached me at Windows World in Atlanta one year and said “I guarantee if you port Visio to OS/2 you’ll sell 100,000 copies right away.” Apparently he worked for IBM.

We chose not to do it because the market was just too small for us to use precious resources for the port. We did have versions that ran on Classic MacOS, NT PPC, and NT Alpha, but never OS/2. The NT versions were fairly straight forward. The Mac version used a porting kit called Alar. I can’t find any references to it or I’d give y’all a link.

Bjango

In an effort to reduce the final app size of iStat Menus, we’ve been investigating ways to slim down our app icon. It’s currently about 1.4MB, which is normal for an app icon, but a decent percentage of our bundle.

Marc Edwards does a deep dive into app icon sizes and his attempt to scale back the size a bit.

Cycling News

Chris Froome has warned of the long-term effects of COVID-19, arguing that many riders are struggling for months post-infection and highlighting the potential risks to the heart.

Yes, long term COVID-19 is a real deal and it effects young, old, and even the fittest of fit professional athletes. Wear a mask and stay safe out there.

Bloomberg

Apple Inc. is working on adding touch screens to its Mac computers, a move that would defy long-held company orthodoxy and embrace an approach that co-founder Steve Jobs once called “ergonomically terrible.”

I can understand folks saying it’s ergoonomically terrible to use a touch screen on a desktop computer, but occasionally tapping the screen on a laptop isn’t bad at all. I’ve seen many a person do this with their touch screen Windows laptops over the years and they don’t seem to have any sort of fatigue associated with it.

Microsoft’s Surface Pro seems like the perfect Windows device to me. It’s a tablet that can be use with a full sized monitor, keyboard, and mouse, and it runs Windows. I could write code on one of these devices. I can’t do that with an iPad.

Fox Sports

Sometimes, there’s a guy like Stetson Bennett IV, except that there isn’t really, not exactly like him anyway, not when this young man of unassuming excellence had to be a footballing miracle-worker just to become Georgia’s quarterback, never mind everything he’s done since.

I love me an underdog. Now, lets see if Stetson Bennett can have an NFL career. I hope so.

Also, the real Championship game was Georgia vs. Ohio State in the Peach Bowl. That was one amazing football game.

Don Melton on Mastodon

Today is the twentieth anniversary of #Apple’s #Safari Web browser being publicly introduced. That stunning debut happened at the Macworld Expo in San Francisco on January 7, 2003. And, of course , I was there. Here’s what I wrote about that event ten years ago:

Happy Birthday Safari! 🥳 All us Mac loving people owe Don “Gramps” Melton a big thanks for putting together the team that went on to create Safari. Thanks, Don!

[wolfwrenbrainrot]

Woah, this person expressed it so well, much better than I did tbh. I a hundred percent agree that being in a fandom should be about having fun, not jumping at each others throaths. Obviously, I’ve been a Star Wars fan for a long time, ever since I was a little girl, and toxicity has always been a part of it, unfortunately. I’d like to point out that if I was mean at the end, it was only directed at sabezras who have been acting all morally superior and hating on wolfwren, not their shippers as a whole.

I feel it’s important to clarify that because, yes, I see their dynamic as platonic, very sibling-like (I’m not calling it an “incestuous” ship, though, ‘cause it isn’t, not really). When I first watched Rebels, at the beggining I did think they would become a couple since Ezra had a crush on Sabine. However, as the show went on and they grew closer, to me it went away and, judging by what we’ve seen so far, I believe Filoni is going in this direction as well. My point is, if I’m right about this, it won’t be because of Wolfwren. It will be because the writers decided it made more sense for the characters. Wolfwren is not a “menace” to Sabezra and if y’all think it is, you need a reality check. There’s no way a sapphic ship will be prioritized over a straight one. That’s just not how Disney+ works. Especially not when the showrunner, as progressive as Dave must be in some areas, is neither a woman or sapphic. 

Wolfwren is the first ship that I’ve gotten a bit more invested than usual in the last few years and I’m excited to see all the great fan work being made. As a college student in my early twenties who’s been dealing with the good and the bad aspects of being independent for the first time in life, Star Wars as a whole is a escape from reality. This franchise is where I find comfort and I’m sure this is true for people of all ages in this fandom. So, I hope all of my wolfwren girlies can enjoy being in our delulu era without letting it be ruined by negativity. That being said, I hope saberzas do the same. 

As for wolfwren being toxic… yeah, no kidding lmao. I, too, had my phase of being outraged that people shipped something that wasn’t the best example of what a relationship should be like. In the sequels era, I was ferousciouly anti Reylo. I was a hypocrite then, ‘cause at the same time I was obsessed with Catradora (if you know, you know), but I do understand it feeling like it is “dangerous” to encourage a ship that envolves physicall violence, fighting and trying to kill each other. I won’t deny fiction do have an impact in how we perceive ourselves and our lives (especially when we’re younger), but I believe it applies more to scenarios closer to the real world, not so much to a non-canon ship consisting of two pretty women in opposite sides of a war who I happen to think stare at each other in a gay way while dueling with lightsabers. Star Wars have a lot of deep stuff, but it shoudn’t be taken as moral guide. In this universe, Anakin Skywalker can commit genocide, and still be a beloved character by most of the fandom (me included). In this universe, Kallus and Zeb ended up being good friends (and, depending on who you ask, lovers). So, honestly, I think it’s unfair to act like shipping wolfwren is some kind of sin. It’s just a bunch of sapphics having fun, enjoying their tension and dynamic. Besides, as I stated previously, I’m not even sure I want them to be canon, because an enemies to lovers ship needes development, execution. It’s all about the journey, tha change. And I don’t know if I want Shin to be redeemed. I don’t her backstory yet and, as we’ve seen with Maul, a sad life trajectory doesn’t necessarily mean redemption or getting a happy ending. I’m here for the ride. Maybe she’ll end up being the evilest evil bitch out there and I’ll love every second of it, just like I love seeing Vader, Thrawn, Maul and many others on screen. But maybe, she’ll have a proper redemption arc and after that, wolfwren will become an actual possibility. ‘Cause in fanfiction I can read the most deranged dynamic ever, but I don’t necessarily want that for Sabine in canon because it would require her to go against what she believes and become a villain or a morally dubious character and I don’t it for her. Either way, it won’t happen this season. It’s harmless fun, and if I want pretend that those two chaotic padawans are making out in that damn ship you can bet I will 'cause it makes me happy. That's all I have left to say about it.

this whole argument is pointless 'cause most wolfwrens i see are aware that shin and sabine won't REALLY get together by the end of this season (and, dare i say, ever). and speaking solely for myself, I don't even WANT them to. I'd be happy if they pulled a kalluzeb (enemies to reluctant allies to friends), but I'm not getting my hopes up for that either. I know this franchise, I've been a fan of it since I was a little kid, and now I'm an adult who knows Lucasfilm won't give us sapphics anything better than valcinta on andor (and don't get me wrong, I loved them, but they aren't the protagonists of that story, while sabine is one of the main characters of this one). still, we'll keep consuming and producing content where shin and sabine are a physically/romantically involved.

oh, and for the sabezras out there who want to be assholes, I can be wrong, but I'm almost sure your "precious, healthy and pure" ship won't happen either. and it won't be because a bunch of sapphics online decided to ship sabine with shin hati.

[sagesolsticewrites]

Romance Will Reign Supreme | Austin Butler x Reader

Request from Anonymous: wondering if you could please write Austin Butler and his non-famous girlfriend shyreader are hanging around at the amusement park. Austin is so deeply in love with her & the two of them are just being an adorable couple and everyone is shipping them so hard, just hardcore fluff. Thx and I love your fics btw

a/n: posting this early as a HUUUGE thank you to y’all for 400 followers!! I honestly can’t believe it y’all are so sweet 🥺 to the dear nonnie who requested this: i hope it’s okay I made the reader gender neutral here! As a genderfluid person myself (though I lean more fem most days), I’m working on writing more gender neutral inclusive language in my fics! (in case you were wondering, the title is from a Tangled song! who knows which one it is 👀)

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: a couple swear words, inaccuracies about California & Disneyland, Austin being adorable, I think that's it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Thank you so much to my bestie @austin-butlers-gf for helping me with this!

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

“Babe, you ready to go?” Austin calls from the hall.

“Yeah!” You reply, grabbing your bag from where it sits on your bedside table. You step out into the hall, double-checking you have everything first— phone, sunscreen, wallet— before turning to your boyfriend, asking for about the twentieth time that day, “And you’re sure it’s okay I’m coming with you? I know you said it was a cast meetup, I don’t want to intrude on anything—“

“Y/N,” Austin places his hands on your shoulders, the sincere look in his eyes cutting off your nervous rambling, “I want you to be there. Besides, everyone loves you. They all practically begged me to bring you along.”

You nod, reassured for the moment. “Right, yeah. Thank you.” You give him a small smile, feeling a little bad that your anxiety keeps getting in the way of what’s supposed to be a fun day.

“Always, sweetheart.” Austin replies, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before pulling you along to the car waiting for you.

Dating a famous actor, especially as the painfully shy, decidedly not-famous person you were, wasn’t always the easiest thing. But Austin did his best to keep you out of the public eye, and the castmates and colleagues he introduced you to were always the sweetest people. Like, for example, Baz, Dacre, Luke, and Olivia, whom you were going to meet up with at Disneyland today for a celebratory “the press run is over!” hangout.

“Y/N!” Olivia squeals as you head over to meet everyone near the entrance inside the park. She rushes over to hug you, Luke and Dacre not far behind her.

“‘Wow, Austin, it’s great to see you, how are you?’ Oh I’m great, thanks for asking, guys,” your boyfriend complains jokingly as his colleagues shower you with attention.

Olivia turns to him with a playful smile, “Oh hush, I was stuck with you for two years, I hardly ever get to see them!” She punctuates her sentence with a final squeeze around your midsection, releasing you to rejoin Baz and his wife, Catherine. The two of them greet you, mischievous grins on their faces, and you soon realize why as they pass out Elvis-themed mouse ears. The pink and black ears are bedazzled and covered in pearls, with a giant gold “EP” on one ear and the iconic “TCB” lightning logo on the other.

The group gushes over them as they put them on, Austin taking the liberty of putting yours on as if he were placing a crown on your head.

“You look adorable, sweetheart,” he says with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. An “awwwwe” goes up from the group as they watch the interaction, and a heat entirely unrelated to the California sun floods your face. You’re quick to focus your attention on your shoes until the focus turns to the day’s activities, Austin pulling you close as Baz goes over the plan: find rides to go on together before the lines get too long, find food, walk around to take some pictures with characters, and there might be time for people to go off and do their own separate things before meeting back up to say goodbye at the end of the day.

You enjoy the slower paced rides: the teacups, It's A Small World, all the usual ones, but you start lagging behind a bit as the group heads towards a… very large rollercoaster. Apart from Olivia, who shoots you a slightly concerned look that you wave off with a small smile, most of the group doesn’t notice, too engrossed in the conversation they’re having. Austin, however, isn’t so easily convinced. He hangs behind to walk by your side, intertwining your fingers and saying softly, “I know you don’t really like these kinds of rides. If you want we can just hang out and go get some food or something while they go…”

You hesitate, glancing over at the rest of the group chatting excitedly. “I… I don’t want you to miss out on all this stuff just because of me—“

“If I get to spend more time with you, I’m not missing out on anything, I promise, sweetheart.” Austin assures you with a sweet smile. “Hey guys!” He calls to the group ahead of you two, “I’m kinda hungry, I’m stealing Y/N to go get some food with me. We’ll meet you guys after, okay?”

Warmth floods your chest as he draws all of the attention to him, the group waving him off with a “have fun you two!”

You squeeze his hand in thanks as the two of you turn to walk away, and he squeezes back, looking at you with a soft smile. The line at the ice cream stand he drags you over to is short enough that you’re able to enjoy the Mickey-shaped treat before it’s time to meet up with the others again.

You meet the others at the exit to the ride, Olivia yelling something about how Luke was “absolutely terrified the entire time!” — with Luke vehemently denying it — as you make your way to Café Orleans for “some real food,” as Baz had put it.

Austin is practically glued to your side throughout the meal and even afterwards as you’re making your way through the park to take pictures with characters. It’s sweet, but eventually you have to extricate yourself from him to rehydrate, going off in search of refreshments.

He sighs, slouching at a table as he awaits your return. Olivia slides into a chair near him with a smirk.

“They just went to get a drink, they’ll be back in a minute, Aus.”

Austin blushes, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “I know, I just…” he trails off, unable to explain exactly how he’s feeling; he hasn’t felt this attached to someone in a while, but after getting to spend so much time with you since the press run ended, it’s hard for him to pull himself away.

Olivia gives him a soft, teasing smile. “Don’t worry, Aus, it’s cute how much you care about them. The two of you are honestly adorable.”

“Yeah, I…I really love them,” he says finally.

Whatever Olivia says in reply is just a buzz in Austin’s ears as he sees you rejoin the group with an armful of water bottles. You feel heat flood your face as Austin comes over to help you pass them out to everyone, telling him quietly, “You guys didn’t have to wait here for me, I would’ve caught up eventually.”

“Well where’s the fun in seeing Rapunzel without you?” he replies with a smile, pulling you along with the group towards where Rapunzel is indeed waiting, a line of adults and kids alike waiting for a picture.

After a fairly long day of rides, pictures (both with characters and group photos for social media), and plenty of money spent at gift shops, you all finally make your way to the exit, smiling faces tanned from the California sun. You say your goodbyes and lean against Austin as you slide into the car, the long day of socializing finally taking its toll. Austin wraps an arm around you comfortingly, taking note of your exhaustion.

“I know it was a long day, but I really can’t thank you enough for coming along, sweetheart.”

“It was fun,” you reassure him, “I think I just need to curl up on the couch and not talk to anyone for a week after today,” you joke, laughing softly as you turn and tuck your face into the crook of his neck, making yourself comfortable for the drive home.

“Even me?” he says, and you can hear in his voice that he’s doing that silly mock pout that he’s criminally good at.

“Never you, honey, you know you don’t count.” You smile. He knows that when you complain about not wanting to have any kind of social interaction, it’s him and maybe a couple of your close friends that remain the rare exceptions.

“I’ve got your favorite ice cream in the freezer, and we can just sit on the couch and read or something in silence when we get home,” he suggests, and you can practically feel your heart melt because he knows you so damn well.

“That sounds perfect,” is the last thing that slips out of your mouth before you’re asleep on his shoulder, Austin’s eyes on you like you’re the only thing on the planet that matters.

Taglist: @queenslandlover-93 @anangelwhodidntfall @austin-butlers-gf @butlersluvbot @killerqueenfan @kittenlittle24 @beauvibaby @kingelviscreole @justjacesstuff @sweetheartlizzie07 @coldonexx @londonalozzy @kaycinema @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @djconde58 @mirandastuckinthe80s @luke-my-skywalker @tubble-wubble @yourselenite @eliseline

[dbnightingale24]

The Idea Of Marrying Me

Ransom One Shot

~~

Okay, so this is part 2 to ‘A Disaster From The Start’. I’m making it known now that there will be a part 3 and it’ll be the final part (so don’t yell at me too much). I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I really did try to make this shorter and by doing so, I made this longer. I really don’t know why my brain is like this. Once again, @maroonsunrise83​ made and amazing moodboard and I love her to bits!! (Thank you!!) So, here we go and I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count: 32,912 (I’m honestly so sorry, y’all)

Warnings: Smut (so much smut), MINORS DNI, arguing, public sex, public fingering, drinking, swearing, cheating, Daddy kink, heartbreak, angst, drama, crying (the fucking crying, holy shit), unprotected sex, family drama, lying, degradation kink, anal sex (slight), so on and so forth, I’m sure I missed something.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter:

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

Back To Black - Amy Winehouse

You Know I’m No Good- Amy Winehouse

Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse

He Can Only Hold Her - Amy Winehouse

Too Little To Late - JoJo

Break The Man - Tears For Fears

Breaking The Girl - Red Hot Chili Peppers

I Don’t Wanna - Aaliyah 

All I Need - Aaliyah 

Only One - Ariana Grande

Dead Horse - Hayley Williams

Run The Road - Santigold

Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne

Summary: After taking some much needed time away from Ransom, you truly believe that you’re ready to head home, new fiancé in hand, and handle whatever he throws your way. What happens when he forces you to realize that you haven’t moved on as much as you think you have?

I do not consent to gave any of my works/stories posted elsewhere.

~~

You sit in the bridal suite, looking down at the ring on your finger. It’s felt heavy since the day it was placed on your finger. It feels too heavy. How had you even gotten yourself into this situation? How is it that you always find yourself in the wrong situation?

“Babe, what is the problem with going back home? We’ve been together for 2 years and I’ve never seen where you grew up. It’s not even like it’s far from us,” your fiance, Ryan, questioned with a small chuckle as he drove you both to your childhood home.

“I just don’t liked going,” you sighed, looking out the window; a small sense of happiness coming over you as started to recognize the scenery around you.

You hadn’t been home for 5 years. It was the best move for you, even though it hurt like hell, its what you kept telling yourself. Ransom had finally promised everything you ever wanted from him, but it was just too late. Too much had happened, and there was too much pain. He begged for hours, only leaving when you were both too tired to cry any longer. You didn’t see him again until your graduation, where he surprised you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers: peonies.

After your parents took you out to dinner, Ransom picked you up and took you out to a movie, then for a walk, in which you two talked about everything except what was wrong. The night ended with you against his bedroom wall and him deep inside of you, decorating your neck and chest with hungry and desperate kisses.

You snuck out of his house the next morning and made your way back home, making sure everything you truly wanted was packed before leaving and driving to your new apartment. You hadn’t bothered to tell Ransom that you were moving or that you’d changed your number. You just couldn’t bear it. You forced yourself to block him on social media and did your best to not ask about him.

A clean break.

The crying didn’t stop for at least a year, but when it finally did, you were happy because it finally became easier to mask the pain.

You were finally able to get your mom to leave your father and you were the one to represent her in court. As much as it pained your father, he wasn’t surprised and he was more than fair with dividing up everything between them. Of course it didn’t surprise you or your brother when they started sleeping with each other a few months later. No, you both weren’t supposed to know, but it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

In the time that you and your mother spent together, she’d tell you about Ransom even though you begged her not to.

“Mom, just stop,” you huffed, closing your laptop and gathering your files. “I’m just not strong enough. I’m not even strong enough to hear this.”

“But babygirl-”

“No mom, he did this. I hate that it’s hurting him and that he’s miserable, but how do you think I feel? He did this to me! For fucks sake, I don’t even go home now because I’m terrified of running into him!” you sighed, forcing yourself to hold back your tears. “He cheated on me, twice. He had everything he wanted...no mom. Just no.”

“Love always finds a way,” she smiled softly before getting up. “See you on Friday?”

“Yeah,” you said and cleared your throat. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

That night you decided to torture yourself and look at the photos you two took in the Hamptons, because it was all you had left. You told yourself a million times that you would delete them, but every time you thought you had the strength to do it, you just ended up in tears. However, you knew you needed to stop and you told yourself that you were gonna put yourself back out there. So after seeing your mom that Friday, you went out with a group of work colleagues and decided to at least try and have fun.

Insert Ryan.

He’d been trying to get your attention for some time, but you never paid much mind to him. It’s not like there was something wrong with him; he just wasn’t Ransom.

At least that’s what it was like at first.

You let him take you back to your apartment that night, and even let him kiss you goodnight. That was the limit, because you refused to let yourself move too fast or end up in another ‘friends with benefits’ relationship.

Ryan was patient and took it at the pace you wanted. In the beginning, Ryan was sweet and kind. He was considerate, passionate, compassionate, fun, and funny. God, he was so funny. You finally gave in after 6 months of friendship. He was a welcomed distraction from your heartache and maybe that’s why you ignored all the warning signs.

Sometime after 3 months of being together, between him meeting your parents, your brother (and his now family), and your friends, you noticed a shift in his attitude. He became more easily irritated, he lied about where he was going and who he was going with, and he became manipulative. Both Sam and your mother told you before it even got to that point that something was off, but you didn’t listen. You figured that after everything with Ransom, you’d spot any issues at the first sign.

You should’ve listened.

“No! I wanna know where the fuck you’re going!” you yelled at Ryan as he got dressed.

“I fucking told you, Y/N. I’m going-”

“Out is not a fucking place, Ryan!”

“So you’re gonna start questioning me because your last boyfriend fucked you over? Haven’t I always been good to you? Patient with you? After all the waiting I did to show you how much I want you and this is how you tell me you love me?” he scoffed, putting his jacket on.

You’d told him about your previous boyfriend (purposely leaving out his name), and you’d regretted it ever since because he used it against you every chance he could. “I’m not going to keep doing this with you, I swear to God. If you can’t be up front with me, I’m fucking done. You’re not going to make me feel like I’m being unreasonable when you’re the one whose changed!”

“Y/N, if you really wanna end this because you’re paranoid, there’s nothing I can do or say to stop you. I’ve-”

“You act like I haven’t seen the napkins with phone numbers on them and the fucking lipstick on your shirts!”

“I always come home you, Y/N. If I was out having all this sex with other women, I’d be pretty exhausted and just stay there, don’t ya think? I swear to Christ-”

“Even if you’re not sleeping with them, you’re fucking entertaining them!”

“I can’t stop women from being attracted to me just like you can’t stop the guys at the office from hitting on you.”

“Funny how I never let the guys at work get as close as you let these women get to you.”

“Do whatever you want, Y/N. I’m done arguing about this. I’ll be home tonight and I hope you’ll be here when I get back,” he shrugged before walking out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

That night, like so many other nights, you cried to yourself about not being able to just leave. You wanted to call Ransom and beg him to come and get you. You wanted him to hold you and take you away.

Back to the Hamptons.

However, you weren’t about to be the girlfriend who kept taking back her cheating boyfriend all because she loved him. You refused to be your mother. So you stayed, and just slept in the other bedroom. It took a few days of that, with you only going back to the master bedroom after he came in apologizing and promising to be better at keeping his distance from other women. You knew it was all horseshit but what else could you do?

Yeah, leaving was always an option, but leave him and do what? You’d left Ransom to try and find someone better and ended up with Ryan. You felt like if you left Ryan, you would just find a shittier version of just him and Ransom. Knowing your luck, he’d probably be a fucking serial killer. So, you stuck around and waited for him to end it, because you figured it would happen sooner or later.

Only it never did.

Ryan swore he loved you and wanted nothing more than to spend forever with you, and you just chalked it up to him telling you what he thought you wanted to hear....until he proposed to you one night after a nice night out to dinner. You wanted to say no and you meant to say no, but ‘yes’ came out instead. It didn’t help that everyone you were close to didn’t seem all that excited about it. Yes, they told you congrats and that they couldn’t wait to see you walk down the aisle, but it was very obvious that they were only saying it to be polite. You should’ve pumped the breaks then, but once again you didn’t because you were just waiting for everything to work itself out.

Months went by and Ryan was still doing the same bullshit, all while still telling you how he couldn’t wait to marry you. He was still staying out, entertaining the attention of women in the office, and telling you half truths.

One night you got so fed up that you almost did call it off. Almost.

You lit a cigarette at the kitchen table as you turned your attention to the stove clock. 1am and he still wasn’t home or responding to your texts or calls. You looked down at the diamond engagement ring on your finger and scowled. The damn thing wasn’t even your style.

“Oh hey, y-you’re up,” Ryan smiled awkwardly, but his smile was soon replaced by a scowl when he saw the cigarette in your hand. “Y/N, it’s late and I don’t-”

“Where were you?” you interrupted before taking a drag from your cigarette. You weren’t in the mood to entertain his little mind games.

“I went out with Tyler and James. You already knew that-”

“No, I knew you were going to dinner with them. It’s 1 in the fucking morning. How long does it take you to eat dinner?”

“We decided to hangout afterwards, what’s the big fucking deal?”

“Okay, if you’re not gonna be honest with me-”

“I’m being fucking honest!” he snapped as if you were in the wrong. “Why the fuck are you even marrying me if you don’t believe me?!”

“That’s a really good fucking question,” you scoffed before taking another drag of your cigarette then exhaling. “Why did you propose if you’re desperate for the attention of other women?”

“Baby-”

“In fact, why don’t you just call this whole thing off? Why don’t we just-”

“Don’t say that, baby” he cooed softly, making his way over to you. “I don’t want anyone else’s attention but yours. I just want you. I only love you,” he stated almost desperately.

It’s not like you really believed anything he was saying, and you were still so angry with yourself. Was it really all that bad to admit that you’d been in two failed relationships back to back? Were you that afraid that you’d go running back to Ransom so quickly? You were so much better and stronger than that, but you stayed anyway.

The pain quickly unraveled into something less dangerous, more like an irritation: maybe that’s what made it so easy. That pain never stopped with Ransom, it was as constant and debilitating as a migraine. You never deleted the pictures at the Hamptons, or his number, and you never stopped missing or loving him. Whereas with Ryan, you kind of just accepted the situation for what it was. Besides, it’s not like you were getting any younger.

Your mother offered to throw a celebration for the both of you at the mansion (which your father gave her in the divorce), and Ryan was all too eager to say yes.

“This is where you grew up?” Ryan wondered aloud in pure disbelief as he pulled into the elegant driveway filled with fine masonry. .

“It’s just a house, babe. Relax,” you sighed, unbuckling your seat belt.

“Hey, what’s going on? We’ve been doing really good lately and this was really nice of your mom to do. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you lied with a faux smile. “A lot has happened here and it’s been a long time since I’ve been home.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, don’t worry,” he smiled before getting out of the car and grabbing the bags.

You took a deep breath and looked over the place you once called home. The memory you had of that place was of you driving away, tears streaming down your face as you attempted to rid yourself of Ransom once and for all. You convinced yourself you were doing the right thing. In fact, you were still trying to convince yourself that you had done the right thing. In that moment, you found yourself comparing Ryan to Ransom. The Christmas that you’d gone to check on your mother after everything had happened at your father’s Christmas party, Ransom sensed your hesitation and offered to take you back to his place. He’d given a fuck about you and your happiness

‘He also cheated on you twice, Y/N. Snap out of it,’ you scolded yourself mentally.

You took a deep breath before getting yourself out of the car. You probably weren’t even going to see Ransom, so why the hell were you so scared? Even if you did, it wouldn’t matter because you were sure he’d moved on by then and you very clearly had, too. You were getting married after all.

‘Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, dumbass,’ you scoffed mentally.

“You’re here!” your mother squealed, opening the door before you even had a chance to even knock on the door.

“Hi Ma,” you smiled, wrapping her in a hug.

“What took you two so long? It’s only a 40 minute drive!”

“Someone was dragging her feet,” Ryan teased, nudging you softly.

“I bet she was,” your mother scowled before stepping aside to let you both in.

“Your home is lovely,” Ryan complimented, looking around at the high ceilings and all of the pictures and paintings that adorned the walls.

“You’re too kind! I’m still so jealous of your parent’s summer home! It’s gorgeous!”

“It’s nothing compared to this,” he laughed softly “but thank you. They should be here later in the evening.”

“That’s perfect! Everyone should be here by then!”

“Everyone? Ma, who did you invite? I told you I don’t want a big to-do-”

“Your brother, some of your friends, Harlan, a few family members-”

“Ma!”

“Stop! It’ll be fun!” she scolded. “Now, take Ryan up to your bedroom so you two can get settled.”

“Fine,” you mumbled heading towards the stairs.

“Sunshine!” your father called, right before your foot hit the first step.

“Hey dad,” you smiled softly, turning to face him.

You and your father’s relationship was on a steady road to recovery, and while it had a long way to go, you two had made steady progress since your parents divorce.

“It’s good to see you! How was the drive?” he asked, engulfing you in a hug.

“Good...long.”

“It’s been so long since you’ve been here. I’m happy you’re home, even if it is only for a few days. I’ll let you two get settled, but maybe can do breakfast tomorrow? I know tonight is gonna be crazy.”

“I’d like that,” you smiled, nodding in agreement before facing the stairs again and starting the trip up them.

The minute you and Ryan got into your room, the questions started. “Why are you so miserable about being here? Things are very clearly fine between your parents and they’re both extremely excited about all of this. What’s going on?”

“I’d really rather just not talk about it right now. There’s just a lot of weight that comes with being here. It wasn’t always this happy and welcoming. I just need some time to-”

“Babe, that may have been the case then, but that’s not case now,” he interrupted, very obviously annoyed with you. “They’re doing something insanely kind for us, so the least you could do is fix your attitude. I’m going downstairs and I suggest you get it together soon and join me down there,” he finished, dropping the bags before practically stomping out of your room.

You sighed and pulled out packet of cigarettes, quickly pulling out and lighting one up before opening the glass door and sitting in the doorway of the terrace. Why couldn’t you get it together?

“You know, Ransom cried in this room for hours when you left him,” your mother said softly, standing in the doorway of your room.

“Not right now, Ma. Please.”

“He cried for hours and slept on the bed, hoping you’d come back.”

“Why do you keep pushing Ransom on me?! He cheated on me and broke my heart! Leaving the way I did was the only way I’d really free myself of him!”

“It was cruel, babygirl.”

“Jesus, just let it go! It’s over!”

“I know why you left and I’m proud of you, because you’re smarter and stronger than I ever was. You didn’t want to become me and marry someone like your father. Ransom was young and stupid though. He had his own demons and he didn’t know how to deal with them. You and him weren’t the same as your father and I. However, you and Ryan?” she scoffed. “Stay with him and you’ll end up just like your father and I. I keep telling you that boy is awful.”

“I really can’t hear this right now. I just can’t,” you sobbed softly, taking another drag from your cigarette.

“Listen, I’m your mother and I love you. I truly just want what’s best for you. If you truly believe that Ryan is what’s best for you and that you’re over Ransom, then so be it. You know yourself better than anyone else, but I would advise you to really think all of this through. You saw everything I went through...do better than I did,” she stated earnestly before exiting the room, closing the door gently behind her.

You stayed out on the terrace and cried for what felt like forever before finally deciding that you’ve had enough. You needed to get ready for the party your parents had thrown together. You’d wanted to wear your sheer black dress, but you knew it would get under your mother’s skin and she would make a thing of it. Since she was the one putting everything together, the least you could do was look like you wanted to be there.

It hadn’t dawned on you that you were wearing an outfit that Ransom once told you he thought you looked beautiful in. You spent so much time getting ready; changing was just going to be an added inconvenience and take more time. You turned on your straightener, impatiently waiting for it to warm, and forced yourself to look at your reflection in the mirror.

You were truly angry and irritated with the person looking back at you. You didn’t want any of this, so why were you letting it happen? When did you become someone who just accepted the things they hated instead of standing up for yourself? Wasn’t that the whole point of leaving Ransom? Forcing yourself out of a situation that was no good for you because of how miserable it made you?

‘No, you leaving Ransom is what turned you into this. One man broke your heart, so you chose to surrender to fear instead of fighting it, because you’re too afraid of being hurt again. Too afraid of really living life without him. Don’t start playing dumb now,’ you mentally chided yourself.

You sighed in frustration and slammed your fist down on the dresser of your vanity. You just wanted to go home and hide.

You wanted Ransom.

“I heard someone is being a difficult little bitch,” a familiar voice mused from your bedroom doorway.

“SAM!” you squealed, getting up and running over to her before engulfing her in a hug. “What the fuck took you so long?!”

“Work bullshit,” she laughed, squeezing you back just as tight. “What’s going on babygirl?”

“There’s no fucking time to talk about it because of this fucking party.”

“Well, looks like you’re about to do your hair and makeup, so I’ll do it for you while I listen to you tell me all about what’s been going on,” she smiled, leading you both back over to your vanity and sitting you down.

You spilled your heart out to Sam about everything that had been going on between you and Ryan, both before and after the proposal. You told her about your feelings for Ransom that refused to go away, even after so much time had passed, and what your mother said. You forced yourself not to cry the entire time.

You would’ve felt awful if you’d have ruined her amazing makeup job, on top of everything else.

“I mean...your mother does have a point,” she sighed, grabbing a piece of your hair, combing it out before clamping the straightener closed and slowly pulling it down.

“For fucks sake! Not you too!”

“Just hear me out, babe. Now, I haven’t done anything with Ransom since long before you two hooked up, but even then I knew that he was destined to always be an asshole. He could be a Hall of Fame asshole, babe, but I was just looking for a good time and so was he. However, things were different from the start with you two. Ransom never had the same girl twice, and if he did, he waited at least two months before sweet talking her up again. Wasn’t it only a week with you? Maybe two. No, I still don’t believe he deserves you, but I know he loves you. He had to lose you to realize-”

“Sam-”

“Hear me out,”she repeated. “Now, he had to lose you before he really understood something he never really wanted to: you’re truly the love of his life. Something about you made that made man want to try and eventually change.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you left, he got his shit together. He started a business, stopped bar hopping as much, seemed to clean up his act...I mean, he still treats people like shit, but he’s barely ever at clubs. I have it on good authority that when he is out, he’s not sneaking off to do shady shit.”

“And how do you know?”

“He and Shawn are friends now,” she shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“I’m sorry, back the fuck up. Shawn, your husband, is friends with Ransom?”

“They get along well enough and Shawn doesn’t care that much that Ransom and I hooked up. He just says that the past is the past and I’m with him now, so why should he care?”

“Why didn’t you-”

“Because you didn’t wanna know. You didn’t wanna hear anything about it and I knew you were trying to move on, so I just didn’t say anything. Just like I never said anything to him when he asked about you. I was doing what was best for you because I love you. Now, that being said, I think you need to leave the both of them alone and just find someone new.”

“Sam-”

“No Y/N, neither one of them are good enough for you. You just need to start fresh.”

“No, I don’t need to-”

“Has there ever been a time in your life when you’re not stubborn? When you’re not putting yourself through unnecessary pain?”

“Yeah, when I finally fucking left Ransom, which you and my mom say was a mistake.”

“I didn’t say it was a mistake, babe,” she sighed, placing your grandmother’s blue diamond encrusted butterfly pin into your hair. “I was so proud of you being strong enough to leave, but its been how many years now? And you’re still hung up on Ransom? He’s still hung up on you?”

“What does that even mean?”

“He hasn’t been serious about anyone since you, babe. He hasn’t been and doesn’t care to be-”

“Hey, is it okay for a gentleman to enter?” Ryan questioned, softly knocking before making his way in with a tepid smile on his lips.

“Depends, have you seen any fucking gentlemen?” Sam muttered quietly as she straightened the last bit of your hair.

“Stop it,” you giggled softly, nudging her before turning your attention to Ryan. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everyone is just waiting to see the bride to be,” he beamed, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

‘Oh, he’s fucking wasted,’ you thought to yourself. “I’ll be down in a moment.”

“I was thinking we’d go down together,” he smiled hopefully.

“That sounds good to me,” Sam beamed, before turning her attention towards you and dipping down. “Think about what I said,” she whispered before kissing your cheek softly. “I’ll see you both downstairs!” she smiled before quickly exiting the room, softly closing the door behind her.

“Are you done with your little attitude?” Ryan questioned, irritation flickering in his eyes.

“Lets just get through the night, okay?” you huffed, getting up and smoothing out your dress, trying to ignore all of your anxiety and silent rage. ‘You’ve gotta get it together, Y/N,’ you told yourself.

“What the fuck is your deal? Y/N, I’m telling you that if you don’t-”

“And I’m warning you,” you countered harshly, grabbing your clutch, “this isn’t the night to piss me the fuck off. You be on your best behavior and I will be, too. Fuck with me, and I’ll embarrass the hell out of you,” you finished darkly. The sudden change in his demeanor let you know that turned him on. ‘Of course his toxic ass is turned on by that.’ “Lets go,” you muttered before he could act on what he wanted.

You both made your way down the grand staircase, faux smiles on your faces, and were met with cheers and applause. As people made their way over to you two, you did your best to hide all traces of irritation and longing.

Longing for him, as always.

As you made your way into the kitchen, trying to find a bottle of the good whiskey that your father always hid in there, you felt a chill run down your spine.

‘What the fuck is that all about? There’s no way...no. Nope. No. He wouldn’t do that,’ you think to yourself, quickly pouring a generous amount in your glass.

“Y/N! Darling, it’s so good to see you!” Harlan smiled, greeting you with a hug. “You look beautiful as ever.”

“Always the gentleman,” you laughed softly, returning his warm hug. You’d missed him so much.

“I’ve met Ryan, he seems like a nice boy,” Harlan beamed, but his eyes told you that he wasn’t falling for the ‘nice guy’ act. “Are you happy?”

“Yeah...yeah, I am,” you lied, trying to convince both him and yourself.

“Then that’s all that matters,” he nodded, giving you a knowing look. That man could always read you like a book. “I’ve gotta get back to your mother though, I promised her that I’d play a round of ‘Go’ with her.”

“Kick her ass,” you laughed.

“Oh, I plan on it,” he smirked, only causing you laugh harder, before he made his way out of the kitchen.

As the night went on (and you got more and more buzzed), you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was...off. You’d searched for him desperately, but there were no signs of him. Even if you had located him at the dumb little party, what the hell were you going to do? Nothing, because there was nothing you could do without making a scene, and you wouldn’t do that to your family.

“Why the hell have you been avoiding me all night?! This is our celebration party and you’ve barely been by my side!” Ryan whispered harshly. He roughly pulled you into what was once your father’s old study, but had been turned into your mother’s lounge area.

“Back off, Ryan,” you warned, yanking your arm free and taking a sip of your drink. “You aren’t the only person I know at this fucking get together. I have to make my-”

“Get together?! This is a party to celebrate our engagement! This is a party about us and you’re-”

“Who cares, Ryan? Honestly, who the fuck cares? We’ve been engaged 6 months. This is just a reason to drag my ass back to this place,” you scoffed.

“Are you gonna keep being a bitch the whole night or-”

“Is everything okay in here?” an all too familiar deep voice asked, stepping into the room.

‘Fuck, keep it together, Y/N. Keep it the fuck together,’ you repeat internally as you tried to keep calm. “Everything’s fine,” you smiled as sweetly as you could, before turning to meet Ransom’s heated gaze. His eyes were burning with anger. Had he been listening the whole time? “We were actually just-”

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Ryan interrupted, plastic smile on his face, sauntering over and holding out his hand “I’m Ryan West. You are?”

Ransom looked at the outstretched hand before looking Ryan over. “Hugh,” he responded flatly as you did your best to stifle your chuckle, completely ignoring the outstretched hand, before returning his gaze to you. “Are you okay?” he asked again, his voice still sturdy and tough; his eyes were soft, showing genuine concern.

“I’m fine, Ransom. Thank you,” you smiled with a slight nod.

“Alright, your father’s looking for you.”

“Okay, we’ll make our way-”

“Just her,” Ransom snapped, anger returning to his eyes as he looked to Ryan.

“Where is he?” you asked, desperately trying to break the little confrontation that you were sure Ryan wasn’t even aware of.

“We’re out back, I’ll take you,” he responded, motioning with his hand for you to follow him, though his gaze was still burning holes into Ryan.

“Ransom,” you called softly, bringing him back to you.

“Yeah, lets go,” he muttered before leading the way to the back deck, leaving Ryan dumbfounded.

“Where’s my father?” you sighed, once you looked around the back deck and saw no one.

“I don’t know,” Ransom shrugged, placing a cigarette between his lips “probably making out with your mother, those two can’t keep their hands off of each other,” he smirked before lighting up.

“Jesus, Ransom!”

“Listen, it didn’t sound like things were going so great in there, so I thought I’d get you out,” he exhaled, finally looking at you.

“Thanks,” you muttered, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and grabbing your own.

“You used to only smoke when you were drunk.”

“Well, I have had a few drinks.”

“I’ve been out drinking with you, darlin’. I know for a fact that you’re not drunk.”

“Ransom-”

“You left me for him? You made a great improvement,” he chuckled before taking another drag of his cigarette.

“I didn’t leave you for him. I left you then met him. There’s a fucking difference,” you corrected harshly, finally looking him over.

He had a full beard, he’d grown out his hair, and his sweater was hugging his muscles in all the right ways. He looked older, but not old. He looked mature and a bit exhausted. Just being next to him had you thinking all the wrong things.

‘Do not do this, snap out of it!’ you chided yourself. “Why are you even here Ransom?”

“I had some business with your father,” he stated simply, looking you over and a small smirk played on his lips. “Nice dress.”

“Piss off,” you snapped. “Of course you have business with-”

“It’s not that kind of business. I don’t do any of that anymore.”

“What other business could you have?”

“He helps me manage my money, Y/N. That’s it. Whatever destructive things he does at this point have nothing to do with me.”

“Well, why would you come here of all nights? I’m more than positive-”

“I wasn’t supposed to be here this long,” he interrupted, taking another drag of his cigarette “but then...”

“But then what?”

“I saw you coming down that grand staircase,” he sighed and you could tell he wanted to end the conversation, but you weren’t ready to let him off the hook so easy.

“And?”

“All the feelings of anger and rage I had towards you just melted away. You looked gorgeous and grown up. You seemed different and yet the same.  I just wanted to make sure you were okay, because then I’d be able to force myself to leave you alone, but...”

“But what?”

“I know you, Y/N. For better or worse, I fucking know you and I could tell the instant I saw your eyes that you’re not happy. You haven’t been genuinely happy in a long time.”

“Ransom-”

“How could you just fucking leave? Like it was nothing? You left only to find him? Jesus, I know I’m a piece of shit, but for fucks sake-”

“Stop it, Ransom,” you warned, ashing your cigarette.

“Why? It’s just us right now. No need to lie, no need to pretend-”

“Because my mother is in the middle of throwing Ryan and I an engagement party! Because we had our shot and you fucked it up! You don’t get to be mad at me right now!”

“You didn’t have to-”

“Yes I did! You wouldn’t have let me leave and I didn’t want you to! It was best for the both of us!”

“Is that the only way you can sleep at night? Selling yourself on that bullshit?” Ransom scoffed, ashing his own cigarette.

“I can’t do this tonight, Ransom. I can’t and I won’t,” you sniffled, wiping away the few tears that dared to leave your eyes. “I’m going back inside-”

“For what?!”

“Because my fiance is in there, Ransom! Because in 2 months, I’ll be his wife and this...you can’t keep sucking me in!”

“You’re not even happy with him, but you’re gonna marry him?!”

“Goodnight, Ransom,” you sighed before turning and making your way back inside.

“You know it isn’t gonna work with him,” he whispered hotly, following closely behind you.

“Stop it!” you harshly responded, rounding the corner and searching for Sam.

“It’s not gonna work because you don’t love him, not like you love me!”

“I don’t love you!”

“Bullshit! I may be a piece of shit, but at least I’m honest!”

“That’s enough!” you snapped, whipping around so fast you almost slapped him across the face with your hair. “We’re not doing this! You need to move on, because I clearly have!” Ransom’s demeanor quickly changed and a smug, shit eating grin came to his face. “What?!”

“You’ve moved on?”

“Obviously!”

“So, you don’t love or miss me at all?” he questioned, cocking an eyebrow as he slowly started to make his way over to you.

“N-no,” you stuttered, backing away from him.

“So, if I touched right now...?”

“It wouldn’t mean a thing,” you lied confidently, as your back hit the wall. All you wanted was for him to touch you.

“So being this close does nothing for you?” he whispered hotly into your ear. “Cause I gotta tell ya, Princess, being this close and not doing anything is driving me insane.”

“Ransom,” you breathlessly moaned, though, it was supposed to be a warning call.

“Missed hearing all the sounds you make for me when I’m deep inside of you, Princess,” he husked as his hand gently caressed the side of your face.

“Fuck...stop it, Ransom,” you weakly protested, your breathing starting to become heavy.

“I miss you, baby.”

“Ransom...please,” you begged softly, not really sure if you were telling him to stop or to keep going.

“Lets just go. Get the fuck out of here and-”

“Everything okay here?” your dad questioned, causing both and Ransom to to jump.

“Everything is fine,” you quickly responded, clearing your throat, smoothing out your dress.

“Y/N-”

“There you three are! I went out back but couldn’t find anyone,” Ryan smiled making his way over to you. You didn’t miss the quiet scowl that left Ransom’s lips. “Everything okay?”

“Everything is apparently fine,” your father responded, cutting his eyes at both you and Ransom.

“I think it’s starting to wind down, so I figured you’d wanna start saying goodbye,” Ryan smiled, but his eyes held so much confusion.

“I’ll get back out there then,” you smiled , quickly getting yourself away from Ransom and making your way to the living area.

You only got out a few goodbyes before Ransom decided to...well, be Ransom.

“Hey, everyone!” he called from the middle of the grand staircase, big smile on his face. You already knew this wasn’t going to be good. “I feel so terrible because I didn’t bring a gift and I didn’t even know about the engagement! So, tomorrow, I’ll be closing my restaurant on Boston Post Rd early so we can do an engagement dinner for the lovely couple! It’ll start at 7!” he beamed with a faux smile.

“That’s so kind of you!” you beamed, smile just as fake as his, “but I just wouldn’t feel right-”

“We’d love that so much! Thank you, Hugh!” Ryan enthusiastically cheered, as you face palmed yourself.

In that moment, you truly could’ve strangled Ryan. You did your best to mask your utter rage and made eye contact with Sam.

‘He owns a fucking restaurant?!’ you mouthed to her.

‘Three’ she mouthed with a nod.

“I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow,” Harlan smiled brightly, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“I guess so,” you laughed incredulously, hugging him back just as tightly.

“Are you okay?” he whispered sincerely.

“Who the hell knows?” you responded before pulling away. “Tomorrow at 7?”

“I’ll see you at 7,” he smiled weakly before letting go, making his way to your mother.

That night you let Ryan fuck you senseless. It wasn’t even that you enjoyed the feeling of his skin on yours; it was you needing relief from everything Ransom made you feel earlier. In the end, Ryan brought you off, but it wasn’t what you needed. Ryan was a good fuck, sure, but that’s all he’d ever be. You couldn’t ever get to the level of satisfaction that Ransom brought you, but that wasn’t his fault.

Every time you and Ryan fucked, you found yourself comparing him to Ransom. Not necessarily on purpose, but you couldn’t help it. Size difference aside, the skill wasn’t there. Nor the passion, and that was the main thing. You wanted so badly to make love to him, but it just wasn’t there. Every time you two were together it felt like a college hookup. Just something for fun and to take your mind off whatever was stressing you out.

It was all consuming with Ransom. You didn’t just want the sex, you needed him. Every part of him. Every part of making love to him felt intimate and soul stirring. Every time he filled you with his love, you felt like you two were one. Every time he was deep inside of you, it made you forget that anyone else even existed. Ransom always took his time with you, worshiped every part of you, and made sure to tell you just how much he truly and deeply loved you- no matter how filthy and dirty the sex was. Then, when all was said and done, he’d just hold you and press soft kisses into your hair. He’d ask you about your day or just stroke your back until you fell asleep.

Being intimate with Ransom always felt like you were finally coming home. Whereas with Ryan, he was ready to leave as soon as it was over. There was no care, no cuddling, no sweet talking...he’d just get up and tell you he had work to do or that he was gonna go and, “see the guys”.

By sunrise the next day, you were more than ready to go to breakfast with your father and get far away from Ryan.

“Sweetheart,” your father started as the waiter placed your two coffees down. “Are you happy?”

“That’s a complicated question,” you sighed, taking a sip of your coffee and leaning back into your seat.

“It’s really not.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to be honest with me.”

“No, you really don’t,” you scoffed, taking out your pack of cigarettes.

“Sunshine, we’ve been through enough bullshit that I think we can both handle anything at this point.”

“What’s going with you and mom?” you asked, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between your lips, waiting for the light Spring breeze to pass before lighting up.

“We’re...trying to see if there’s any way for us to get back to where we were. She understandably has her reservations. So we’re just going at a pace that works for her.”

“Men really make no sense,” you chuckled, taking a drag from your cigarette, then exhaling. “You all will have everything you want, then throw it away. Simply because you can.”

“That’s not what happened with your mother, Y/N. I did love her and I saw how much I was hurting her, but...”

“But?”

“Remember when you were younger and you couldn’t resist doing dangerous, dumb shit? Like climbing to the very top of trees or jumping off the roof of the shed into the pool?”

“Yeah?” you laughed softly, remembering how much your mother would scream at you whenever she caught you in the act.

“Remember how much we told you to stop? How much your mother would cry when you’d hurt yourself, and how much I would I worry?”

“Yeah.”

“You still did it though, because you got a thrill out of it. It was a high for you and you loved it, no matter how much it hurt us. That’s what it was for me. I met your mother when I was a kid and had nothing. We struggled and then I started to do better. When that happened, the only thing I wanted to do was something good for your mother, because she’d stood by me through everything. Then the attention started coming in, and that’s something I’d never had before, and I liked it. It wasn’t bad at first, but somehow it started to spiral. After you were born, I told myself that I’d stop because I didn’t want you to hate me like your brother did. I was fine with it at first, because I was truly happy to have all of you. John and I were getting along, your mother was actually happy to have me around, and you thought the world of me.”

“So what happened?”

“I missed it. The attention, the partying, the drugs...I missed the thrill of it. I wasn’t proud of it and I could see that I was hurting your mother, but it was fun and I was a selfish fuck. It took my daughter representing my now ex-wife for me to realize how much I truly fucked up. You and John hating me...it’s what I deserve-”

“We don’t hate you, dad,” you sighed, taking one final drag of your cigarette before putting it out.

“I know...you know what I mean. Anyway, that’s a very long winded answer to your question,” he smiled softly.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” you smiled with a slight nod before taking a sip of your coffee.

“Now, what’s going on with you and Ransom?”

“Nothing,” you sighed, running your hand through your hair.

“I thought we weren’t bullshitting each other, sweetie.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you scoffed. “It’s been over between us for years.”

“Didn’t look like it was over last night.”

“That was just Ransom being Ransom.”

“I don’t know what you did to him, but he changed after you left.”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” you scowled, as the waiter made his way back over to take your orders. You felt your father’s gaze on you and you knew what was coming next.

“Sunshine, do you love him?” he asked as soon as the waiter was out of ear shot.

You contemplated having another cigarette before answering, but opted for playing with your lighter instead. “I always love him. Like a fucking fool.”

“And Ryan?”

“What about him? I’m marrying him aren’t I?”

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t know...yes? Sometimes? “

“So, you know you love Ransom, but you’re basically in like with Ryan?”

“Dad please, it’s...I can’t be with Ransom, okay? Too much has happened there...I don’t want to end up like you and mom,” you huffed as your food arrived.

“You aren’t happy, Sunshine. You smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, cry when you think no one is looking, and you’re more angry than not. You weren’t always like this. At least not when you were sneaking around with Ransom.”

“Too bad Ransom cheated on me. Twice.”

“He was a child-”

“Don’t okay? Just fucking don’t. He wasn’t a child-”

“Y/N, not everyone is you. There’s no excuse for what he did and I’m still angry at him for what he did, but I get it. If you’re still this in love with him and not sure about Ryan-”

“This is for the best. What’s wrong between Ryan and I is on me,” you lied, stabbing at your eggs with your fork like they stole something precious from you. “I need to let go and move on completely. Getting married will help me do that.”

“You know you the best,” your father scoffed as he poured syrup onto his waffles. “If you truly believe that this is what’s best, then I’ll be more than happy to walk you down the aisle, alongside your mother, and give you away, but you need to be sure this is what you truly want. Trust me, I would know,” he warned.

The rest of breakfast went off without a hiccup and was mainly spent talking about the arrangements for your wedding. Your parents were footing the bill, despite you begging them not to, and your father was insisting on you having the wedding closer to home. You told him that it made no sense to change venues so close to the wedding date, but he promised that he could make anything happen. After he pushed, for the 5th time, you promised him that you would discuss it with Ryan.

Too bad that turned out to be a pain in the ass.

“I don’t know, maybe we should ask Hugh how he feels about it tonight,” he humorlessly laughed as he buttoned his pants.

“You’re the one who accepted his invite.”

“Because he needs to be put in his fucking place!”

“Sure babe, sure,” you laughed as you tied your hair up in a bright red ribbon.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“You aren’t gonna be the one to put Drysdale in his place. I’m not even being a bitch, it’s just a fact.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Ransom loves conflict, he thrives off drama, and he lives to piss off and offend others. He fucks with whomever and whatever he wants, and he’ll make sure to humiliate whomever gets in his way. That’s his territory, so just stand down.”

“Oh? Did he fuck you?”

“My father would have killed him,” you lied with a chuckle. No need to add more drama to an already stressful day.

“So there’s nothing for me to worry about?”

“Not as far as I know,” you shrugged, giving a fake smile.

The drive to the restaurant was filled with wedding talk, work talk, and petty arguments about Ransom.

“Then lets just fucking go back to my parent’s place!” you snapped as he pulled into the parking lot.

“And let him win? No!”

“Let him win what? What are you even talking about?”

“This is clearly some ego thing with him! The restaurant is called ‘Sunshine’! Isn’t that what your father calls you?!”

“Exactly. It’s what my father calls me. I don’t know why Ransom named his restaurant that, probably because it sounds like the name of a porn star,” you shrugged, grabbing your purse and looking yourself over in the mirror.

“Whatever, I’m gonna put this asshole in his place tonight.”

“Whatever you say, babe.. Whatever you say.”

As you made your way inside, you can’t help but marvel at the masterpiece in front of you. Ransom really created a beautiful castle subtly filled with all of the things you loved. The warm colored walls, the pictures of friends and family (though you could tell that some of them were photo shopped), even the cutlery plates were your favorite style. You were torn between feeling overwhelmed with love and happiness at the gesture and feeling angry and resentful about it.

The center pieces on each table were beautiful; translucent frosted rose vases, filled with peonies. The fact that he still remembered- after all of the time and drama that passed- had you fighting back tears.

‘He had his chance and he fucked up! Why is he always fucking with my head?!’ you thought to yourself as the hostess seated you and Ryan at the head table, along with both of your families.

Ryan’s mother greeted you with a faux smile on her lips and a scowl in her eyes, as per usual, while his father looked happier to see you than usual.

“So Y/N, you’ve lived quite a life out here!” Mrs. West beamed as the waiter filled her wine glass with Merlot.

“I guess so,” you shrugged uncomfortably. You hated talking about money and hated people knowing that your parents have a ton of it. It made you feel like you fell into that role of ‘poor little rich girl’ cliche, which is the last thing you wanted.

You didn’t need or want anyone’s judgment or pity. As if on cue, Ransom showed up.

‘Always saving me. Always breaking me,’ you told yourself mentally.

“How is everyone?” he asked looking around the table, but his gaze settled on you, and you knew he could tell how uncomfortable you were.

“We’re all wonderful,” Ryan’s mother smirked, drinking him in. You couldn’t help but shake your head and chuckle.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he smiled down at her with his boyish grin that always made women feral over him. You knew he was having fun at Ryan’s expense, and the part of you that was still petty was enjoying every bit of it.

“Hugh, if you could just get the bill now I can settle-”

“It’s a gift,” Ransom smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Besides, I can afford it. No big deal,” he shrugged before turning his attention back to the table. “Just wanted to let everyone know that changes were made for tonight’s menu in honor of the bride and groom to be. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office,” he smiled at you before turning to leave.

“Why don’t you join us?” your mother chimed in, causing you to choke on your wine.

“Yeah, since you put all of this together, it’s only right that you join us. Besides, this is for friends and family,” Ryan smirked.

Ransom looked to you before he spoke and saw how uncomfortable you were, and whatever smart ass comment was about to leave his mouth stopped. “I’d love to, but unfortunately, I have a lot of work to get to.”

“Sounds like it would do you some good to have me pay the bill,” Ryan chuckled, taking a sip of his scotch.

In Ransom’s defense, he really had to tried to be decent, but they’re some things you just can’t change.

“Besides this one, I have two other restaurants that I own and manage, all three have just been voted in the top 5 best places to eat in Massachusetts. In fact, in order to put this dinner together for you two lovebirds last minute, I had to shut down a photo shoot that’s been planned for weeks and now have get it done before the end of next week so it makes the deadline for all the travel magazines and blogs. Just minor stuff, you know. So no, I don’t need you to pay for anything. What I need is for you to be more grateful and a little more fucking polite, while you sit here and drink my best scotch for free,” Ransom growled.

You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole as both you and Sam made eye contact, looking at each other with pure panic and dread.

“Auntie Y/N!” your niece, Sydney, called as she ran over to you.

“Oh thank God,” you mumbled before getting up and meeting her halfway. “Lovebug! How are you?!” you exclaimed, picking her up and showering her with kisses.

“I’m better today! Sorry we didn’t come to your party last night,” she sighed mournfully.

“That’s okay, peanut, you’re all here now,” you smiled at the sad 4 year old, who then instantly brightened up. “You wanna know a secret?” you whispered.

“Mhm,” she nodded furiously.

“You’re my favorite person here,” you smirked as she giggled, “but shhh!”

All she did was nod and hold a finger over her lips. Your niece truly was your most favorite person in the world.

“Hey sis,” your brother John smiled, engulfing you in a hug. “What the fuck is going on over there?” he whispered in your ear, and you knew he was referring to an angry Ransom and Ryan.

“Later. Much later,” you muttered before greeting Ashley, who couldn’t wait to hug you. “You all take a seat and order what you want, it’s very much on the house,” you mumbled to her with a soft smile.

“Why do I have a feeling that this being paid for by Ransom is part of the problem?”

“Because you’re not just pretty, you’re really smart too,” you smiled and Ashley couldn’t help but laugh.

You helped them all get get seated as close to the front of the table as possible, before Ransom stalked off to his office. You jumped a little in your seat when he slammed the door shut. You felt the eyes of Sam and your family on you, but you just kept your attention on the menu in front of you, which happened to be filled with all of your favorite meals and deserts.

‘Always the charmer,’ you thought to yourself while a small smile played on your lips.

“We’re talking about this later,” Ryan whispered to you, as the waiters came around to take everyone’s orders.

“No, we’re not,” you snapped back in a hushed tone.

“Something went on between you two-”

“Ryan, you were a complete dick to him. That whole exchange could’ve been avoided if you’d stop believing that the world owes you something. Your obsession with status and money is truly remarkable,” you huffed.

“Y/N, you’re one to talk-”

“So Ryan, how have things been at the firm?” John interjected, once he noticed how fired up you were getting.

“Things are amazing! Your sister is kicking so much ass-”

“That’s a bad word!” Sydney sassed and gave her a small smile and a wink.

“You’re right, I’m very sorry,” Ryan smiled at her as she held her angry scowl at him. “You’re aunt is doing amazing at work.”

“Of course she is, she’s the best,” Sydney nodded matter-of-factly.

“That’s amazing, sunshine,” your father beamed at you.

“Yeah, she may even make partner before the wedding,” Ryan grumbled as you rolled your eyes. He hated that you made more money than him.

“Really?! Sis, that’s awesome!”

“It’s really not a big deal. I’ve been told I love to argue, so it finally turned into something that puts food on the table,” you smirked, remembering when Ransom poked fun at you.

“Yeah, but with partner, you’ll making-”

“Can we table the money talk for a while? It really doesn’t matter,” you chuckled uncomfortably.

“Of course it doesn’t matter, you have it,” Ryan muttered.

“And so do you, so drop it,” you snapped, your irritation reaching its boiling point.

“Have you two talked about changing venues at all?” your mother questioned, wanting to change the souring mood as quickly as possible.

“We still haven’t decided,” Ryan smiled towards her.

“The wedding is 2 months out! The quicker you decide, the quicker we can make the arrangements!”

“I just don’t see why we need to change the venue,” you huffed as your plate of lamb and potatoes were placed in front of you.

You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Ransom had placed your order for you.

“You’re already so far, sweetie. We just want one thing that’s closer to home,” your mother smiled sympathetically.

That made you feel a little bad.

“What venue are you two so dead set upon?” you asked her with a small smile.

“The 228 In Sterling!”

“That place is gorgeous.”

“It’s simple enough and I know you love simplicity! It’s a farm and-”

“A farm?” Ryan’s mother interjected. “I thought that we all agreed that a simple venue was the way to go.”

“If my daughter isn’t comfortable, I don’t want her-”

“I want everyone to be happy and comfortable,” Mrs. West quickly interjected. “I just want it to be in a civilized manner.”

“There’s nothing uncivilized about a barn wedding. Especially when you’re spending-”

“I need to take this call,” you smiled, happy that a spam call finally came in handy. “It’s the office, so it may take some time.”

“Of course,” Ryan scowled, “we’ll be here waiting for you.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” you smiled before you rushed off with your little purse. You pressed ignore on your phone then pressed it to your ear, “Erin! How is everything going with the Wilkes case?” you asked loudly.

You went to duck into the coat check room, but the coat check girl was still  there.

“Hey, can you leave for like...30 minutes?” you asked as kindly as you could, pulling out your pack of cigarettes and taking one.

“Um...I really can’t. I know this party is for you, but Mr. Drysdale-”

“If he gives you a hard time, just tell him it was all my fault.”

“Miss Y/L/N, I-”

“Listen...?”

“Diana.”

“Diana,” you smiled, lighting a cigarette, “I’m having a really fucked day and none of it is your fault, but I really just need a few minutes to escape. If you’re really that afraid of Ransom, send him in here and I’ll talk to him.”

“You can’t smoke in-”

“Diana, really fucking terrible day,” you smiled, but your aggravation was starting to show.

“Let me just go and get Mr. Drysdale,” she smiled frantically before she practically ran out.

You took maybe two drags from your cigarette before Ransom burst in and slammed the door shut behind him. “What the fuck, princess?”

“You have your employees that afraid of you?”

“Only when I’m stressed the fuck out. What the hell is going on?”

“Why are you stressed?”

“Y/N, what’s the problem?”

“I’m just done for the day. It’s been argument after argument and I just can’t fucking do it anymore. I’m done.”

“How the fuck is what happened between that little prick and me my fault? He started it!”

“When did I say it was your fault? I’m well aware that Ryan is an asshole, I know that little outburst was his fault.”

“Oh,” he states softly. “Then why are you with him?”

“Ransom, I’m tired and I don’t feel like doing this right now,” you sighed before taking another drag from your cigarette.

“There’s no smoking in here.”

“Oh seriously? Fuck off!”

“Go smoke outside.”

“Ransom, if I walk outside that door, I’ll just fucking run away. I’ll run until my feet bleed and my legs give out,” you muttered, running a frustrated hand through your hair.

“Then explain it to me. Explain all of this to me, because I just don’t fucking get it. This isn’t you.”

“As if you know me.”

“I’ve known you since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

“Ransom, just stop. Fucking stop. Why are you even doing this?”

“I wanted to see what I was missing. What the fucking appeal of him is, if he ever treats you right...if you actually love him.”

“Stop it.”

“You don’t. He’s just a good time for you.”

“Go away,” you snap, fighting back tears.

“Then stop fucking smoking in my coat check area.”

“Why are you being such a dick?!”

“Because you’re being a bitch.”

“Fuck you,” you scoffed and threw your cigarette down, stomping it. “Just send me the bill for this little shit show and I’ll cover it.”

“I don’t fucking need you to cover it,” he snapped.

“Yeah whatever, fuck you,” you muttered as you bent over to pick up the bludgeoned cigarette.

You should’ve read the room. You should’ve seen the signs and noticed his mood, but you didn’t. The minute you bent over, Ransom’s hand was sliding under the bottom of your dress. You couldn’t stop the moan that left your mouth and you honestly didn’t want to. You wanted him.

You needed him.

“You had to fucking look like this tonight?” he growled as he hooked two fingers onto your panties and slowly started pulling them down.

“Ransom...don’t,” you warned with a quiet whimper.

“You come back here, looking fucking gorgeous as ever, and you’re telling me not to fucking touch you?”

“Ransom-”

“He’s not who you fucking want, princess,” he husked as he stroked your soaked lips with two fingers. “He doesn’t make you feel good like I do, does he?”

“Please,” you groaned, losing your resolve.

“No, you’re gonna fucking tell me the truth,” he grunted before sliding his two fingers inside of you.

“Oh fuck!” you whimper as quietly as you can.

“Does he get you off like I do?”

“No,” you moaned, leaning against the desk top, gripping it tight.

“He doesn’t even make you feel good?”

“No!”

“Quiet princess, you don’t wanna get caught do you?” When you didn’t answer him, you could tell that he knew he had you. “Don’t get quiet on me on me now, baby.”

“Ransom please!” you begged quietly, your release building up.

“You need to be fucked like a little slut, don’t you?”

“Yes...yes please!”

“Been so long since someone has treated you the way you deserve to be treated, hasn’t it?”

“You have no fucking idea,” you confessed with a silent sob.

“That’s okay,” he quipped, removing his two fingers despite your protest, before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants: “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

“Ransom...fuck!” you mewled, suddenly remembering how wrong all of it truly was as he thrust himself inside of you. “We can’t do this!”

“Why not? What’s the problem?” he grunted, fucking into you as if he’d been alone in the world for thousands of years. “We both want this-”

“Ransom...oh my fuck! I’m with someone else!”

“Someone who can’t even satisfy you,” he chuckled before pulling the red ribbon in your hair loose, letting your hair fall freely. “You don’t even love him, do you?”

“I do!”

“Not like you love me,” he retorted, picking up his pace.

You knew that lying to him when he had you in such a position was pointless. “Ransom-”

“No princess, I need you to tell me the truth. I need to fucking hear it,” he almost begged as he fucked faster, more intensely.

“Please don’t make me-”

“You don’t love him like you love me, do you?”

“No!” you confessed breathlessly as you came hard on his cock.

“That’s my girl, such a good girl for Daddy,” he moaned, as he pulled you upright, pushing his cock even deeper inside.

“Shit!” you squealed, covering your mouth almost instantly.

“Oh, I think you want him to catch us,” Ransom husked against the shell of your ear before nipping on it. “You want him to catch us so he can finally see the right way to fuck you. Is that it?” You couldn’t stop yourself from clenching around him. “God, I missed how fucking filthy you can be,” he chuckled as he started fondling your beasts over your dress. “Fuck, I’ve missed this perfect little cunt so much!”

“Ransom...I’m so close!” you whimpered, wrapping an arm around his neck, your back pressing against his chest.

“Do it, baby!” Ransom whispered hotly against your ear. “Fucking cum for me!”

“Oh God!” you sobbed quietly, your orgasm washing over you so hard your legs almost gave out.

Ransom let you get yourself together before his own movements started to become erratic. “Where do you want it, princess?”

In that moment, you truly appreciated Ransom, because he knew. He knew you just needed a release; besides getting you to admit that you did still love him, it had been filthy and a good way to get rid of stress. He also knew that for him to cum inside you would be entirely too intimate for you. He knew you couldn’t handle that.

Not on top of everything else.

“My mouth,” you moaned softly. “Please...m-my mouth.”

“Gonna need you to get on your knees pretty fucking quick, baby,” he groaned, pulling out of you.

You were on your knees almost instantly, looking up at him with your mouth open wide.

“Shit, you look so good on your knees for me,” he moaned as you got your mouth around him. You started to massage his cock with your tongue as you sucked on him, “You’re so good at this, baby. So fucking good at pleasing me,” he grunted, grabbing a fistful of your hair as he lulled his head back and started breathing heavy. Once you started massaging his balls, Ransom legs almost gave out. “Shit!” he breathlessly moaned, his release quickly filling your mouth.

You took your time cleaning him up as an act of kindness. You made sure you got every last drop out before releasing him, wiping the sides of your mouth, and getting up.

“How do you feel?” he asked as he tucked himself back into his pants.

“I need to get back,” you said breathlessly. “Where’s my ribbon?”

“It doesn’t matter, do you feel any better?”

“Ransom, I just cheated on my fucking fiancee. I feel like a piece of shit because I am a piece of shit.”

“Princess, I’m pretty sure he cheated on you a few times.”

“That actually doesn’t make me feel better. Give me my panties,” you demanded.

“I’m keeping these as a souvenir,” he chuckled with a devilish grin.

The fact that it turned you on made you feel a brand new type of rage...and desire. “Fuck you!”

“You just did.”

You slapped him hard before storming out of the coat check area. Before walking back into the dinning area you took a deep breath and smoothed your hands down over your dress. You cleared your throat before walking back in the dining room to your seat.

“Jesus, that took forever,” Ryan mumbled as he kissed your cheek. “Where’s your ribbon?” he asked when he noticed your hair down.

“Oh, I decided to take it out when I was outside and dropped it at some point,” you lied with a small smile.

“That sucks, my mother likes your hair better when it’s up. I do too,” he faintly smiled before returning his attention back to a conversation between your father and his.

You tried to focus on the food in front of you, but how could you? What had you just done? It barely took Ransom a full 24 hours to get between your legs and get you to confess how you really felt about him. You really were weak whenever you were around him.

Just one touch...

As you continued to drown yourself in self hate and true disbelief at how easily you cracked, you felt a pair of eyes on you. You looked over at the table next to yours; Sam’s eyes are glued to you, one eyebrow raised.

She knew. Of course she knew. She knew you better than you knew yourself.

A few moments later, you felt your phone buzz and you already knew who it was.

Other Half: Tell me you didn’t.

Y/N: Please don’t make me hate myself more than I already do.

Other Half: WHY?!

Y/N: Because I’m fucking pathetic, and should’ve stayed far the fuck away from here.

Other Half: Stop it, it’s not the end of the world. It’s a one and done thing, right?

Y/N: Absolutely. I’m staying far the fuck away from him for the rest of the time I’m here.

Other Half: Then just...leave it at that. It’s not like Ryan’s squeaky clean and this is the first time you’ve ever done anything out of line.

Y/N: It’s still not right.

Other Half: It’s just Ransom, babe. Just think of it as a form of release and move on.

Y/N: You know he’s much more than ‘just Ransom’ to me.

Other Half: That’s why I said to move on, love.

You put your phone down and took a giant sip of wine, letting the events of the day and Sam’s words roll around in your head. You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed that Ransom had started going from table to table asking everyone about their meals.

“Everything was amazing,” Ryan’s mother beamed at him, causing you jump a little as you went for another sip of wine.

“Y/N, you’ve barely eaten. Big meal earlier?” Ransom smirked with a cocked eyebrow and you choked on your wine.

“It was great, I just don’t have much of an appetite right now,” you sputtered, shooting a glare Sam’s way as she tried to stifle her chuckle.

“Ya know, you should cater the wedding,” Ryan’s mother smiled at him. She really was smitten with him.

“We have a caterer, mother,” Ryan all but growled through gritted teeth. “Besides, with three restaurants to run, I’m sure he wouldn’t have time for our little wedding, especially on such short notice.”

“It’s all up to Y/N,” Ransom smiled at you sincerely. “She knows there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

“Thank you Ransom,” you smiled as sweetly as you while trying to silence all of the voices in your head telling you to run.

“I’ll let you all get back to it,” he smiled at the table before walking over to Sam’s.

You could feel Ryan’s glare on the side of your face, but you were just too tired to care. You didn’t even want to come back home, but he insisted. He was just going to have to deal with the consequences at this point.

As the night bore on, you got drunk. The list of reasons was long and growing: you were mad at and ashamed with yourself, you were angry with Ryan, you were angry with and missed Ransom, your parents and future in-laws wouldn’t shut the fuck up about wedding venues, and your shoes were too tight and hurt. By the time the night finally came to an end, both sides were happy to tell you that they’d agreed on a venue closer to your parents mansion; the reception could be held there.

Made sense, because when did anyone ever give a shit about what you wanted?

“I’m getting you two a car service,” Ransom said as he saw you stumbling past the coat check while Ryan started to look a little rough around the edges.

“No thanks, Hugh,” Ryan smiled sarcastically. “I’m fine to get my fiancee and myself home safe.”

“You had 6 glasses of scotch. You’re not driving either of you anywhere,” Ransom warned with a low growl.

“Guys, stop it,” you slurred, finally giving in and taking your shoes off.

“What is all this? Some big show for her? A final play to win her love? She’s with me, Hugh,” Ryan scoffed, pushing Ransom.

Oh, he was more drunk than anyone originally thought.

“Why are you picking a fight?!” you hissed at Ryan, quickly getting in between the both of them. “You’ve done nothing but be an asshole-”

“And you’re just eating it up!” he snapped at you. “You haven’t seen the way he’s been looking at you all night? The way he was looking at you last night?”

“Ryan, we’re both drunk. It’s been a long day and we both just need to sleep it off,” you sighed, too tired to keep going back and forth. You were also mortified that all of this was happening in front of your friends and family.

“You can sit here and pretend he’s not trying to get in your fucking pants if you want, but I’m tired of it!”

“Watch it,” Ransom warned.

“Everyone just needs to calm down,” John snapped, getting in between you and Ryan.

“She’s my fiancee, Hugh. She’ll never be yours and you need to accept that or we’re gonna have a real fucking problem on our hands,” Ryan growled.

Ransom just chuckled humorlessly and you knew he was doing all he could to not beat Ryan into a pulp. “The car will be here to pick you two up in 5 minutes. Enjoy the rest of your night,” he dryly quipped before he stormed off towards his office, slamming the door shut.

If looks could kill, Ryan would’ve been dead in an instant. Between your father, John, Sam, his parents, your mother, and you it was a wonder that he was still even standing.

The minute you two got into the car, Ryan went off. You just closed your eyes and clenched your fists. You couldn’t have another argument in front of a total stranger.

“Are you even listening to me?!” he snapped at you, slamming his hand down on the empty seat between you two.

All you did was open your eyes and glare at him in a way that made him cower slightly. He didn’t say a word for the rest of the drive.

When you two finally arrived at your parents mansion, all of the fun parts of your buzz wore off and all you were left with was rage. “Ma’am, are you gonna be okay with him?” the driver asked once Ryan was stumbling out the car and  up the steps like a baby.

“I’ll be fine,” you huffed, your angry gaze following him.

“Mr. Drysdale will want me to-”

“Mr. Drysdale? Hugh Ransom Drysdale?”

“Yes ma’am, I’m his personal driver,” the man smiled weakly.

You let out an incredulous laugh, doing your best to contain the new wave of anger that washed over you. “Please let Mr. Drysdale know that I am perfectly fine and he needs to stay out of situations that don’t pertain to him. I know I sound like a bitch right now but my anger isn’t directed at you. I’m just sick of people today,” you huffed, feeling bad about the sharpness in your tone.

“Believe me, I understand,” he chuckled, “I’ll be sure to pass your message along to Mr. Drysdale,” he nodded before pulling off.

You quickly stormed up the steps and slammed the door shut behind you once you made your way inside. You could hear raised voices from your father’s old study and stormed ahead towards it.

“Where’s Sydney?” you asked Ashley as soon as you reached your destination.

“She’s sleeping, thank God,” she muttered, taking a sip of her whiskey.

“Good,” was all you said before storming to the center of the room, getting between your father and Ryan. “Are you fucking stupid?!” you screamed at Ryan. “I really wanna fuckin’ know! Are you fucking stupid?!”

“Y/N-”

“My four year old fucking niece was there, you idiot! Have you lost your mind?! To speak to me and Ransom like that in front of a fucking child?! It’s one thing if its a room full of adults, but a child?!”

“Sis-”

“Do I sound like I’m finished speaking?!” you snapped at John and he quickly went quiet. “If you ever speak to me or anyone else like that in front of her again, I swear to God that I will leave your ass on the spot! Am I fucking clear?!”

“Baby-”

“AM I CLEAR?!” you yelled at him with more force than you knew you had.

“Yes,” he responded softly, looking at his feet. “Can we just talk about this while we’re getting ready for bed?”

“You must be high as a fucking kite if you think you’re getting anywhere near me tonight. You’re sleeping in the fucking guest room, which is more than you deserve,” you bite before storming out of the room and up the steps.

The minute you get to your room, you close it as softly as you can so you don’t wake Sydney, before starting to pace as a weak attempt to calm your nerves.

“Hey psycho, I see you still need to get your anger in check,” John laughed softly as he made his way into your room.

“I could slap the shit out of him, I swear to God,” you grumbled through grit teeth.

“You need to calm down.”

“What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do, John?” you hissed at him.

“Yes, Ryan did everything wrong tonight, and dad had to hold me back from hitting him a few times, but Ransom was making advances towards you, sis. You had to notice that.”

“Who fucking cares, John? Honestly, who gives a shit? He doesn’t know my history with him and at the end of the fucking day, Ryan’s gaudy ass ring is on my finger! Who cares?!”

“You did disappear for a bit.”

“Ryan goes off for a bit more often than not. Now he knows how it fucking feels.”

“Come again?” John questioned, clenching his fists.

Too tired, angry, and drunk to lie, you just tell the truth. “He’s a fucking cheater, John! He cheats on me and then makes me think that I’m being paranoid and crazy when I know I’m not! He throws my past traumas in my face and tells me that it’s not fair that I project all that shit onto him! It’s not like he’s some fucking saint that I’m fucking over! This is the first and only time he has felt an ounce of what he always makes me feel!”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” your brother huffed, marching towards your door.

“No, because it’s been fucking resolved. We’ve been doing better, with the exception of tonight-”

“Y/N, this isn’t you. You don’t settle.”

“Clearly, I fucking do,” you mumbled as you made your way over to the drinking cart in your room. “I left Ransom and found Ryan. I’ll fucking leave Ryan and end up with someone worse.”

“You don’t know that.”

“John...please just don’t, okay? I’m gonna fucking deal with Ransom tomorrow and-”

“Like you dealt with him today?”

“Oh fuck off,” you scoffed, taking a sip of your whiskey.

“Everyone who knows the history between you and Ransom knows what you did.”

“Do you all want gold stars?”

“You can’t keep going back and forth, Y/N.”

“What the fuck does that even mean? I haven’t seen or spoken to Ransom in years. All of this has just been a lot and I needed the release. It means nothing.”

“Do you truly believe that?”

“Yes. I’m not the same person I was in college. Not entirely the same person. Yes, I do still love him, but too much has happened, John. Too much time has passed and we just aren’t in the same place we were in before. It’s over,” you sighed, wiping away the few tears that spilled out.

“I just want you to be happy, Y/N. If there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s you. Just make sure you’re making the right choice,” he sighed in defeat. “I’m going to bed though. I’m tired, I’m angry, I’m buzzed, my daughter cried for 2 hours because of that little display at Ransom’s restaurant, and my wife and sister are furious. I need to fucking sleep,” he laughed to himself.

“Sleep tight,” you smiled softly as he kissed your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” you stated softly before he left your room.

You showered repeatedly that night, trying scrub the day off of you. You knew it was useless because the memories weren’t going anywhere. You’d given yourself to Ransom, and no matter how much you tried to look at it as just a release, it was so much more than that. You’d told Ransom you loved him and that you loved him more than you loved Ryan. You told him that you didn’t love Ryan in the way that you loved him.

Why couldn’t you tell him no? Why did you always have to fall apart for him? Ransom had hurt you so deeply and it still hurt, so why couldn’t you just turn off your feelings? Why couldn’t you stop loving him?

Those questions and more wracked your brain as you tried to get some sleep, but you couldn’t sleep for more than an hour or so at a time. By the time the sun was up the next day, so were you; sitting up in your bed and smoking a cigarette. You looked out at your terrace, dreading what you were about to do next.

You at least had to try though.

You got out of bed before anyone was even awake and grabbed the keys to your father’s 2019 Aston Martin Rapide before rushing out, speeding to Ransom’s house.

“Open up!” you screamed, banging on his door, not caring whose peace you disturbed in the process. “I know you’re home! Open the fuck up!”

“Jesus Y/N,” Ransom answered groggily as he opened the door “what the-”

“What the hell do you want from me?!” you snapped, pushing your way past him and making your way into his house. You did your best to ignore the fact that he was shirtless and focused on your goal. “What the fuck was yesterday?!”

“I didn’t do anything you didn’t want me to do,” he yawned with a shrug.

You couldn’t stop yourself from slapping him on the chest. “You didn’t need to throw that fucking dinner, you could’ve told me no, you didn’t need to get your personal driver to drive us back to my parents, and you didn’t need to bait Ryan!”

“He started-”

“No Ransom, you knew what the fuck you were doing! You knew that he would eventually react and lose his shit, but you fucking did it anyway! What do you want from me?!”

Ransom sighed and was thoughtful before he spoke. “You just fucking left, Y/N. No warning, no text, no call, no fucking letter...you just fucking left!”

“What was I supposed to do, Ransom?! I told you that I’m done with you and you bought us a fucking house in the Hamptons! You were never gonna just let me leave! You would’ve always tried to find a way to suck me back in until you got your shit together!”

“Princess, I know-”

“No, you really don’t fucking know,” you sobbed. “I loved you. I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I defended you! I defended us! Just for you to turn around and betray me twice! I would have loved you until my dying day and you just...” you trailed off as the tears started to flow freely. “I gave you my heart and soul blindly, twice, believing that you truly wanted me. Wanted us...you don’t get to do this to me, Ransom. You don’t get to rock my world again and turn everything on its head. You don’t think I wanted a future for us? You don’t think I thought about our wedding time and time again? I didn’t do this and it’s not fucking fair!” you cried, stomping your foot like a petulant child.

“Baby...I know and I’m so fucking sorry,” he sniffled as he made his way over to you slowly.

“No!” you snapped, backing away from him. “I was weak yesterday and fuck, I’ll probably always be weak to you, but I’m going to put up a fight against you when I can! Don’t touch me and don’t get close to me, Ransom!”

“If you could just-”

“No, this is done. Leave me alone, Ransom. Moving on from you has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I refuse to let you push me back,” you sniffed as you cried.

“I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to do this to us-”

“But you fucking did, so let me go,” you breathed as you dried your eyes, before turning and storming out of his house and speeding off in your father’s car.

When you finally got back to your parent’s place, you stayed in your father’s car and cried for what felt like hours. Most of what you had yelled at Ransom for he deserved, but what happened the day before...that was on you. Even though you knew that, you couldn’t bring yourself to come to terms with it.

Not just yet.

“Where did you go?” Ryan asked softly as you made your way back inside.

“For a drive,” you responded bitterly as you hung your father’s keys back up on the key rack.

“Baby-”

“I’m not ready to talk about it, Ryan and I’m nowhere near ready to hear you out. I just want to go home,” you sighed, knowing that you’d never actually be home unless you were with Ransom. “So, just pack up your stuff so we can go. Your car is out front, so I’m assuming Ransom had someone drop it off.”

“Can we just-”

“Not right now, Ryan.”`

You both said bye to your parents and brother, with Ryan apologizing profusely to everyone, and started on your journey back home. The car ride was tense and filled with a painful silence. Each time Ryan tried to place his hand on your lap, you just moved it away from him. When you two finally got back to the apartment you two shared, you went straight to the master bedroom and slammed the door shut. You got under the covers and cried until you fell asleep. Crying seemed to be the only thing that brought you any kind of comfort.

When you woke up, there were a ton of missed calls and texts from Sam and your mother, but you just text them both telling them that you didn’t have the energy to talk about your feelings.

You got up and made your way to the kitchen, finding Ryan on the sofa, mindlessly flipping through channels.

“You’re up,” he smiled weakly.

“Please leave me alone,” you sighed, continuing your trek to the kitchen.

“Just here me out, babe. Please,” he begged desperately, trailing behind you.

“What?” you huffed, not even bothering to look at him as grabbed the bottle of Buffalo Trace’s 1993 O.F.C. Vintages your father had gifted the both of you as an engagement gift.

“Whatever did or didn’t happen between you and Hugh...I shouldn’t have acted the way I did this past weekend and I’m truly sorry. All of the times I’ve made you feel like shit...you didn’t deserve that. I guess I just got scared because for the first time, I felt an actual fear of losing you. I get it though, everyone just needs to have their fun sometimes and I truly get it. I understand and I’m not mad, I just really want us to get past this. You forgive me and I forgive you,” he smiled at you sincerely.

You stood there completely dumbfounded at what he’d just said. He basically admitted to cheating on you, while also telling you that its fine if you did cheat on him, because you got it out of your system. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. The best you could do was look at him, utterly confused, before storming off.

You got drunk off your ass that night.

For the next two weeks, you tried to just forget everything that had happened. Ryan’s heartfelt and well meaning confession, you cheating, both of yours and his parents basically taking over the wedding, and Ransom.

You always tried to forget about Ransom.

You were getting by, for the most part, until Ransom rocked your world yet again.

Shithead: I need to see you.

Y/N: Ransom, how the fuck did you get my number?!

Shithead: Oh, so you changed your number and kept mine?

Y/N: Ransom, leave me alone.

Shithead: We need to talk, Princess.

Y/N: We already talked.

Shithead: No, you came to my house at 6:30am and screamed at me. We didn’t actually talk.

Y/N: There’s nothing to left to say.

Shithead: So you get to say your peace and I have no say?

Y/N: Ransom, leave me alone.

Shithead: You at least owe me this.

Y/N: Fine. When and where?

Shithead: I want a week with you.

Y/N: You’ve lost your fucking mind if you think I’m spending a week with you.

Shithead: It’s gonna take longer than a day for us to work all this shit out, Sweetheart.

Y/N: Ransom, I’m not spending a week with you so fucking forget it.

Shithead: Ya know, Ryan’s mother has been begging me, almost every day, to cater your wedding. Maybe I’ll tell her yes.

Y/N: Why do you have to be an asshole all the time?

Shithead: To make sure I get what I want.

Y/N: Fine. One week and that’s it. Where?

Shithead: Our house.

Y/N: What the fuck are you even talking about?

Shithead: You know, it honestly does hurt how quickly you forgot about that.

‘There’s no fucking way he’s talking about the house in the Hamptons’ you thought to yourself. Y/N: You don’t mean that house in the Hamptons.

Shithead: That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

Y/N: Ransom...why would you still have that house?

Shithead: Because it’s ours.

You felt your swell and break at the same time and it took all you had to not breakdown and cry at your work desk.

Y/N: Fine, when are we doing this?

Shithead: This Saturday.

Y/N: I’ll meet you there.

You shut your phone in your desk as you tried to avoid a complete and total meltdown. That week went by faster than it had any right to, and by the time Saturday came, both you and Ryan were at your wits end.

“But why does he want you to represent him?” Ryan asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

“I don’t know, Ryan. I guess he just trusts me,” you sighed as you threw a travel bag into your backseat.

“There’s nothing going on?”

“Ryan, I don’t want to have this talk anymore so I’m not going to,” you huffed as you slammed the door shut. “Besides, you’re the one who said that everyone just needs to have their fun, right?”

“Baby-”

“There’s nothing to worry about, okay? I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You’re gonna be in the Hamptons?”

“Yeah, he has a place out there and I guess that’s where he goes to relieve stress,” shrugged as you got into your car and started it.

“Let me know when you get there. I love you,” he smiled weakly, and you could see the fear in his eyes.

“Love you too,” you smiled before driving off.

The entire drive, you felt every possible emotion possible. There were a few times you almost turned around and almost text Ransom that he could cater the damn wedding, but you in the end knew you two needed it. Maybe closure would finally help you move on and just maybe you’d find the courage to leave Ryan.

Maybe you’d find the courage to be yourself again.

When you pulled up to the house, your heart began to race as you fought back tears. That house had held so many promises for you two and so many memories. Though a small part of you was happy he chose to have the talk there. It gave you a little hope that you’d be strong enough, seeing as this house also represented what he threw away.

Ransom was standing in the doorway, smug grin on his face, as you grabbed your bag.

“Lets get this over with,” you muttered, pushing past him and making your way inside.

“Happy to see you too,” he chuckled, closing the door behind him.

The first two days were brutal. Doors were slammed, feelings were hurt, yelling was the only tone either of you had, tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and hearts were shattered.

“I told you that I’d try and that there would be a few bumps!” Ransom yelled at you as he followed you into the kitchen. “I was fucking trying, Y/N-”

“Jesus Christ! I fucking told you that I didn’t want to be your crash test dummy!” you shouted back as you grabbed a bottle of wine. “But you don’t fucking listen! You don’t think about anyone but yourself-”

“I don’t think about anyone but myself?! Jesus, it must be nice up there on that fucking high horse you put yourself on! You fucking left, Y/N! You just fucking vanished!”

“I told you why I left!”

“Horse shit!” he retorted, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and a glass. “You fucking left because it was the easy way out for you! You left because you’re a fucking coward!”

“I’m the coward?! You’re the one who let us crash and burn because you were afraid to change! Afraid of not being the shit bird they all knew you are! So don’t fucking-”

“I stayed!” he yelled, slamming his glass down on the counter top. “I stayed, I fucking changed, and got my shit together! What the fuck did you do, Y/N? Huh? Become a successful lawyer which isn’t even what you want to do, fucking meet Ryan and commit to that piece of shit?! Agree to marry him because you’re too much of a coward to leave and trust yourself to make a better choice for yourself? Too afraid to trust me again? Yeah, you’re doin’ real fuckin’ great for yourself,” he scoffed, taking a long drink from his glass. “I may be a real fucking piece of shit, but fuck all if I haven’t fucking tried to get this shit right! If I haven’t tried to be better for you! Don’t talk to me about being a fucking coward when you’ve let yourself become this,” he motioned towards you.

You just stood there and cried because he had you. There wasn’t a word that he said that wasn’t true, but he could also go fuck himself since he had a major roll into turning you into a shell of yourself. You went upstairs to the bedroom you’d been staying in and settled yourself in the middle of the bed. You curled your knees upward before hugging your legs to your chest and taking a huge gulp from the wine bottle.

There was soft knock at the door before Ransom opened it and slowly made his way in. All you did was glare at him as your tears continued to flow. “I’m sorry,” he sighed before sitting at the edge of the bed.

“I fucking hate you,” you cried before taking another swig from the wine bottle.

“Stop it, don’t say that. I know it’s my fault, okay? I did all of it.”

“Then why did you fucking say it?”

“Because I’m fucking mad at you, Y/N. I’m fucking furious with you, because that was the worst day of my life. I woke up one day and you were gone. No one would tell me anything, you changed your number, you blocked me on everything...you just left and it fucking hurt.”

“I had to leave, Ransom,” you sighed, wiping your eyes.

“I know that too. I guess I’m mainly just angry with myself,” he huffed before taking a sip from the whiskey bottle. “You were everything and I just...” he trailed off as his own tears started to come.

“I shouldn’t have just left like that,” you mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like I gave you much of a choice.”

“I always had a choice and a part of me just wanted to hurt you and the other part of me...”

“The other part of you?”

“I saw us turning into my parents and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be my mother. Loving you with all I had just for you to continue to throw it away? I knew that if I stayed, I would’ve taken you back and you wouldn’t have changed.”

“Yes I would-”

“No you wouldn’t have,” you scoffed before taking another drink from the bottle. “If there’s no consequence what’s your incentive to change?”

“My incentive is that I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You did it the first time and you felt bad then, too. You still cheated again, Ransom.”

“I also loved you and that meant everything to me. Your love meant everything to me.”

“Love clearly wasn’t enough,” you smiled at him meagerly.

You two spent the rest of that night drinking in silence, but not leaving each other’s side. At some point you both fell asleep, and when you woke up Ransom had cuddled you close. You knew you should’ve pulled away and ended the trip early, but you felt so happy and content in his arms. You hadn’t felt like that since the last time you and Ransom were happy and deeply in love in what felt like eons ago.

You decided that the third day would be pleasant one. Plus, your throat really was starting hurt from all of the screaming. Change was needed.

“So, a restaurant huh?” you asked as he made breakfast for the both of you.

“Someone once told me I had potential and that I’m a pretty good cook,” he smirked at you over his shoulder. “So, I decided to open up a restaurant. I knew how to manage it and run things, I hired some of the best cooks around and decided to give it a shot. I didn’t fuck it up so I decided to open up two more for the hell of it,” he chuckled. “Besides, I knew I couldn’t win you back with an ‘I’m sorry’ and bouquet of flowers. I had to really get my shit together.”

“Are they all named after me?” you teased, ignoring the happiness that was bursting from your heart.

“No,” he laughed, “but they’re all styled in a way you’d like and all of your favorites that I’ve made for you are on each menu.”

“I’m proud of you, Ransom.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, you’ve done well for yourself and you did it on your own. You did all this despite what your family thought of you and I’m proud of you. I always knew you could do anything.”

“That means a lot coming from you,” he smiled as he walked over to the table with plates in hand.

“You remembered!” you squealed with delight as he set down a plate of Eggs Benedict with a side of potatoes.

“Of course I remembered,” he chuckled. “It’s your favorite.”

“Because I’m so high maintenance,” you mused, remembering back to the first time he made it for you.

He’d called you high maintenance and said you had an expensive palate. In return, you told him not to fuck up your breakfast.

“Yeah, you’re one of the most low maintenance, high maintenance women I’ve ever known,” he laughed.

“How many women have you made swoon over breakfast at this house?”

“None. No one’s been here except you. No one even knows about this house besides you. I come here alone sometimes and just think, but it’s been here empty for the most part.”

“Why don’t you get rid of it?”

“Because it’s our home. You had to come back eventually, and when you did, I would’ve tried my best to get you back out here. The week I spent out here with you was the best week of my life. I wasn’t about to give it up so easily,” he smiled sheepishly.

“What do you wanna do today? I don’t feel like arguing today,” you questioned as you cut into your brunch, trying to ignore everything you were feeling.

“Well, the weather’s nice so we can go out on the boat if you want, or we can go out and shop-”

“What do you want to do?”

“I wanna stay in with you and watch movies, talk, and just...I want us to get along.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” you smiled.

You both spent the rest of the day laughing and talking, like the first two days of hell hadn’t happened. When it came time for a movie, he let you choose, but he did give you a hard time.

“Of course you chose ‘Roman Holiday’,” he teased as you pulled it up on one of your streaming accounts.

“You told me to choose my favorite movie, so I don’t know why you’re giving me a hard time,” you laughed as he came in with the wine and popcorn.

“You probably watch this every weekend.”

“I wish,” you huffed as the movie started. “Maybe I’d be in a better mood.”

“What? Ryan doesn’t like to indulge in the things you like?”

“Ryan is picky about indulging in the things I like.”

“Why are you even with him?”

“He wasn’t always like this, Ransom. Maybe it’ll change after we’re married,” you shrugged with a sigh before reaching for your glass of wine.

“He’s a fucking leach, babe. Nothing but another Joni.”

“Stop it, no he isn’t. He has money. His family has money.”

“Not like we do.”

“Ransom-”

“Think about it, princess. Your family is paying for the wedding, the venue change, you make more money than him-”

“How do you know so much?”

“He got my number from your father and sent me an apology text. He explained how he’s just feeling overwhelmed and a bunch of other bullshit,” Ransom scoffed, grabbing his own glass of wine.

“Still-”

“Is he encouraging you not to sign a prenuptial?” he asked, finally meeting your gaze. Your silence told him everything. “He’s marrying you for money and security.”

“Is that how got my number?” you questioned, returning your gaze to the screen. “My father gave it to you?”

“Sorta, I got into his phone and took it,” he chuckled before shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

“Ransom!”

“What? It’s not my fault your father’s password is so easy,” he laughed.

“What is it?”

“Oh? I thought I did something wrong.”

“I’m nosey, Ransom. What is it?” you chuckled

“Their anniversary. Your mom and dad’s.”

“That’s kind of sweet?” you giggled.

“You know they’re gonna wind up back together, right?”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ know,” you sighed “but they’re the adults here, right?”

“You’re finally getting it,” Ransom teased as you kicked him playfully.

You two went through three bottles of wine during ‘Roman Holiday’, and by the time he was ready to put on the second movie, you were feeling free.

“The second movie is your choice,” you smiled with a slight giggle.

“Oh, you’re drunk,” Ransom laughed.

“I’m a little buzzed, but I am not drunk,” you corrected with a head nod. “I just need to eat something besides popcorn.”

“Let me see what I have in the fridge-”

“Lets order something,” you interrupted, grabbing his forearm as he went to get up. “I want you to stay right here with me.”

“Why’s that?” he questioned, his gaze softening as he looked you over.

“Life’s better when you’re by my side,” you confessed softly.

In one swift move, Ransom was on you and you didn’t stop him. As his lips kissed their way down to your neck, his hands wrestled with buttons on your shorts before getting them loose and pulling them down.

“Ransom,” you moaned breathlessly.

“I love you,” he whispered hotly against your neck as one of his hands slipped down into your panties, quickly finding your most sensitive bundle of nerves.

“I love you!” you mewled, arching your back a little as your nails dug into his flesh.

“I just wanna make you feel good,” he husked as he picked up his pace. “I just wanna make you happy!”

“I just need to feel you, baby,” you moaned, unbuttoning his jeans and forcing them down as much as you could.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, pushing himself up to meet your gaze.

“You’re all I ever want,” you responded truthfully, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

“So fucking beautiful, baby,” he groaned as he thrust himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“Missed having you beneath me like this! Missed you so much, Princess! Dreamt of this for so long!”

“I’ve needed you so much,” you sobbed, wrapping a leg around his waist. “You’re all I ever think about!”

“I haven’t loved anyone since I’ve loved you,” he panted, fucking into you faster. “Just want you...just need you.”

“Baby, I’m so fucking close!” you cried as your toes started to curl.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to not cum deep inside this perfect pussy?” Ransom asked as he picked up his pace. “You looked so fucking good and I just...fuck! You’re mine!” he growled as he tightened his grip on you.

“Ransom! I need you to destroy me in the way that only you can!”

“Holy shit! I need to let go inside of you! Please!” he desperately begged.

“Do it, please! Just...just wanna feel whole again,” you mewled as felt yourself reaching your peak.

“Y/N!” he yelled as he spilled his hot seed deep inside of you.

“Fuck!” you cried with a gasp, cumming hard as your leg tightened around his waist.

Ransom had one arm around your waist and pulled you up with him, so that you were straddling him. He pulled your shirt off and threw it across the living area before kissing all over your chest, as you quickly undid the buttons on his shirt before practically ripping it off of him.

You were well aware of the crime that you were committing, but you didn’t care. You weren’t even going to blame the alcohol, because at the end of the day, the fact of the matter was that you loved Ransom and he loved you. You’d worry about the guilt and shame you’d feel later. For the time being, you just wanted Ransom and to feel whole again.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he husked, looking up at you as he started to come to life again. “You don’t even know-”

“Don’t wanna think about that right now, baby,” you moaned looking down at him as you started to grind your hips against his. Your hair falling in front of your face. “I just want right now with you. Us, right now...that’s all that matters,” you breathed before dipping down to kiss him deeply.

As your tongues fought for dominance, one of Ransom’s hands traveled between you two and found the sensitive bud that always had you coming apart for him.

“Fuck,” you sighed, breaking away and leaning your head against his.

“Missed making you feel good, baby,” he groaned, picking up his pace. “God, I love you so fucking much. I’m gonna love you all over this fucking house.”

“Please!” you whimpered, feeling your release coming on again.

“What does my good girl need?”

“T-to..to cum! Please!”

“I don’t think so baby, not yet,” he teased, a devilish grin on his face.

“Please!”

“Will you be my good girl tonight?”

“I swear I will,” you whined before biting your lower lip.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he grunted looking up at you, loving the beautiful mess you’d become. “Ride me, baby. Ride me and cum hard on this cock.”

“Shit!” you hissed, placing your hands on each side of shoulders as you started to ride him.

“So good for me,” he husked, doing his best to fight off another release.

“Always wanna be good for...you,” you whimpered, your grip on him tightening. “Shit!”

“Come apart for me, baby,” he encouraged softly before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking on it hard.

“Fuck Ransom!” you screamed, lulling your head back as your orgasm washed over you hard.

Ransom released your nipple with a ‘pop’ before chuckling darkly. “And we’re just getting started.”

Ransom did love you in every part of that house that night, promising you that he’d treat you right, never leave you, and that he’d love you forever. Your only response being that you wanted to be with him, but that you didn’t want to think at the moment. You just wanted to be in the moment with him.

The night ended with you two 69-ing in the master bedroom, you both finding your release together since neither of you wanted to give up dominance.

“What can I do to earn your trust?” Ransom sighed as you laid down next to him.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t,” you mumbled, not ready to start discussing reality so quickly.

“You know I’m sorry-”

“Ransom please,” you huffed, turning on your side to face him. “I just...I don’t know what any of this means, okay? I just know that I love you and when I’m with you, I’m lighter. The world isn’t as scary as it actually is, I’m not stressed, I’m genuinely happy, and everything makes sense.”

“So then-”

“Because you hurt me, Ransom. You broke my heart twice that doesn’t just go away because we yelled at each other for 2 days and fucked a whole bunch on the 3rd. Plus, I’m supposed to be getting married in a month and I need to-”

“You can’t still be considering marrying that douche bag!”

“Ransom!” you huffed with a frustrated sigh. “Why are we doing this now? This can wait till tomorrow. All of it can wait till tomorrow.”

“Cause you’ll have time to come up with argument tomorrow and I can never win when you’re at your best,” he muttered, pulling you close to him and kissing your forehead.

“You never win either way.”

“Fuck off,” he laughed. “I do love you, Y/N.”

“I know baby and I love you,” you smiled before kissing his chest. “Lets just rest for now. I’m sure we’ll be able to argue about this after we sleep.”

“I don’t want to argue, Princess.”

“Me neither, but we will.”

When you woke up the next morning, Ransom was on the phone with what sounded like his actual lawyer, so you grabbed one of his white button up shirts and put it on, before quickly going into the other room and grabbing your phone.

‘3 texts from Sam, 2 missed calls from mom, 1 text from John, 3 missed calls from work, and 2 texts from Ashley. Nothing from Ryan, what a shock,’ you thought to yourself as you made your way back to the main bedroom.

You weren’t even sure why you were so upset, because it’s not like you were being a saint. You were well aware of the type of man Ryan was, but for a moment he seemed like he actually gave a shit about whether or not your relationship would make it.

‘Probably worried about the money going away,’ your inner voice scoffed.

“What’s wrong Princess?” Ransom asked as soon as he got off the phone, noticing how you plopped down on the bed.

“Nothing,” you lied with a faux smile.

“You know better than to lie to me, sweetheart,” he taunted before getting in next to you. “It’s about Ryan, isn’t it?”

“He hasn’t text or called and I don’t know why it’s bothering me.”

“Because you love him,” Ransom responded bitterly. “Fuck, I really did a number on you, didn’t I?”

“I thought I was being smart, discovered I wasn’t, and yet here I am. Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me?!” you groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Why can’t any of this shit be simple?”

“Because I keep complicating things even when I don’t mean to,” he chuckled softly as he wrapped an arm around and pulled you close. “I know I can’t change or take back what I did and how much I hurt you, but I truly wish I could. I know I don’t deserve to be the one you choose, but I really hope you do.”

“Ransom-”

“However,” he continued gently “even if you don’t pick me, don’t fucking choose him either, Princess. He’s a piece of shit and a leach. You say you don’t wanna end up like your parents, then don’t choose him, baby,” he mumbled against your cheek as one of his hands started to massage your breast.

“Ransom,” you sighed “we need to clean up downstairs-”

“We can do that after. You don’t wanna start your day with me filling you up?” he questioned hotly against your ear, as his hands traveled down between your legs.

“Fuck!”

“I’ve loved watching you walk around in my clothes. You look so fucking sexy when you’re nothing but my shirt,” he praised as he rubbed your clit faster.

“Ransom please,” you mewled, gripping the sheets as you threw your head back.

“Be a good girl and cum for Daddy,” he demanded roughly and you followed orders instantly. “Get on your hands and knees for me, baby. I want you to face that mirror and watch me fuck you. I want you to see just how fucking beautiful you look when you explode for me.”

Ransom’s filthy words had you dripping and forgetting about what the hell you’d been so stressed about before. The minute you were in the position he wanted, he thrust himself into you.

“Never get tired of this fucking pussy,” he grunted as fucked into you relentlessly. “Never get tired of hearing the sounds you make for me.”

“You’re so fucking good to me, Daddy,” you whimpered, dropping your head as you felt the knot in your core tighten.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, someone isn’t being a good girl,” Ransom taunted, grabbing a fist full of your hair and forcing your attention on the mirror in front of you. “You’re gonna miss the best part if you don’t listen,” he growled lowly as he bent down to whisper in your ear “and you don’t want that do you?”

“No,” you sobbed, feeling your release coming on.

“No who?” he questioned, slapping your ass hard.

“No D-Daddy!”

“That’s my good little slut.”

“Please let me cum, please,” you begged, his words and roughness making you clench around him.

“The way this cunt is squeezing me...we’re both gonna cum, shit!”

“Please cum with me!”

“You better keep your eyes on the fucking mirror,” he grunted, sitting upright as his movements became erratic. “Fuck! Cum for me, baby! Cum for me right now, Princess!”

“Shit!” you screamed, cumming hard as you felt him spill into you, forcing yourself to keep your gaze on the mirror in your blissed out state.

“See how fucking beautiful you look when you let me fill this pussy?” he moaned, riding out both of your highs.

“Yes baby, fuck!” you groaned as he pulled out of you.

“Fuck, I love having you like this,” he moaned. You watched him watch the mixture of your juices run down your thigh and drip on to the bed and you could feel yourself getting worked up again.

Ryan could never.

“Get your pretty little ass cleaned up before I keep you in this bed all day.”

“Maybe I want you to, Daddy,” you moaned arching your back.

“Y/N, I’m not gonna warn you again,” he growled.

“Fine,” you giggled, getting up “you can make it up to me tonight.”

“I’ll make it up to you in 2 hours,” he smirked.

You quickly cleaned yourself up and got dressed in your clothes, stuffed your phone in your pocket, before going downstairs and cleaning up the mess you two made the night before. You’d just put the clothes upstairs in the master bedroom when you heard a knock on the door. You were a little confused but thought nothing of it as you made your way to the front door.

“Hello, how may we h-help...Ryan?” you questioned as you stumbled a little. What the fuck?

“Hey babe!” he smiled brightly “I though I’d surprise you and Hugh!”

“Why?” you wondered aloud before you could stop yourself.

“I missed you and I figured I could make things right with Hugh by taking everyone out for lunch.”

“Ryan, we’re working-”

“I’m sure you both could use a break,” Ryan interrupted as he made his way inside. “This place is fucking gorgeous!”

“I know,” you muttered, closing the door behind you.

You knew you had no reason to be, but you were angry. Furious. The Hamptons was you and Ransom’s alone, and Ryan was ruining it.

“How did you even find us?”

“I asked Steve to look up a house in the Hamptons registered to Hugh Ransom Drysdale. He found the address within an hour.”

“Good old Steve,” you scowled, remembering how much you really couldn’t stand his cop friends.

“Okay, so I was thinking that maybe we’d...Ryan,” Ransom stopped short on the stairs, his entire demeanor changing instantly. He clenched his fists and his jawline tightened. “What are you doing here?”

“Wanted to take everyone out for lunch and I was hoping you and I could start over,” he smiled, hopeful.

“As great as that sounds, we both have a lot of work to do.”

“I’m sure you two have time for a break.”

“How did you even find my house?”

“One of his cop buddies looked it up for him,” you muttered, as you started picking at your fingers.

Ransom’s phone started ringing and he looked from you to Ryan before looking down at it. “Fuck, I have to take this,” he muttered before storming into the kitchen then making his to his backyard, slamming the door shut.

“He seems pissed,” Ryan scoffed.

“Yeah, and I don’t blame him. This is kinda fucked up, Ryan.”

“I’m just trying to do a good thing-”

“Ryan, you had someone look up his address, you come over unannounced, you’re basically trying to force a friendship on him that he doesn’t want-”

“I’m trying to make amends!”

“He doesn’t like you, Ryan! He doesn’t like you and he has every reason not to!”

“Babe, I’m trying to make things right. Besides, if he’s important enough to get you take a week off from planning our wedding, I should make the effort to make things right, shouldn’t I?”

“This isn’t how you go about doing it,” you muttered, grabbing your phone as it buzzed for the millionth time.

Shithead: This is our home, what the fuck is he doing here?!

Shithead: He can’t fucking be here, Princess. He just can’t be.

Shithead: Get him out of here.

Shithead: Listen, I know none of this is your fault, Princess. I’m sorry, but he just can’t fucking be here. He has to go.

“Fuck,” you muttered, putting your phone back into your pocket. “Let me go and talk to him. Just sit down and watch TV or something.”

“Baby, I didn’t mean to-”

“Yeah, I know, Ryan. I know,” you huffed as you made your way into the kitchen.

Ransom was pacing in the kitchen and you could tell he was doing all he could not to destroy everything in his path. “Who the fuck does he think he is?!” Ransom hissed as quietly as he could. “Who just shows up to someone’s house like this?! This is our house!”

“Ransom, it’s not like I told him to come here!”

“I know you didn’t,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around you.

“Ransom stop, he’s right out there,” you warned softly, weakly pushing him off of you.

“He’s in our house.”

And I’m his fiancee,” you countered with a sigh. Only you would get yourself in a situation like this.

“I want him gone.”

“Ransom, he’s not going anywhere until he takes us out for food.”

“Fine, but if he’s getting what he wants, I wanna get what I want,” he propositioned with a devilish grin.

“You just had me!”

“Yeah, and my fucking plan was to get you on that boat, talk a little then have you ride my face,” he whispered against your neck before biting it as his hands worked on undoing your shorts.

“Fuck,” you moaned softly. “We can’t! What if he catches us?”

“Just keep quiet. I know my good girl can be quiet for me, right?” he questioned as he got on his knees and pulled your shorts down. “Daddy just wants a taste,” he mumbled before diving between your legs.

A quiet gasp escaped your lips as you arched your back. If your past actions weren’t going to send you to hell, you were sure that this would do the trick. What made it worse was that you got off on it. A part of you wanted Ryan to catch you and Ransom because you wanted to hurt him. He’d hurt you so many times that if you could just make him feel an ounce of pain that he inflicted onto you, it would bring you so much more satisfaction than it should.

The other part of you just wanted to be with Ransom, and if Ryan caught you two, it would’ve made the breakup all that much easier. You knew Ryan would never really confess to cheating on you (he loved giving half truths), but you could deal with him hating you as long as you finally got to be Ransom’s again.

“Shit!” you cried softly as Ransom slipped two fingers inside of you. You kicked off one of your sandals and stepped out of the right pant leg of your shorts, before hooking that leg over Ransom’s shoulder. “So fucking close, baby,” you whimpered quietly.

All Ransom did was pick up the pace with both his tongue and fingers, using his other hand to grip you tight. You squeezed his hair tight and pulled him closer to you, and when you felt his nails dig into your thighs, you knew he was doing best to keep quiet.

“Fuck!” you breathed out as you came hard all over his tongue, your free hand gripping his shoulder extremely hard.

Ransom stayed in-between your legs, cleaning you up at a leisurely pace, as you slowly came down from your high. You relished every moment of his desperate desire to please you.

“I’ll go out first,” you exhaled softly with a small chuckle as Ransom kissed his way back up your body as he brought your shorts up with him.

“You sure you can stand?” he laughed before kissing your lips.

“Shut up,” you giggled, playfully pushing him off. “Just be nice for lunch and we can get back to where we were. Talking,” you pointed teasingly, before turning to walk away.

“Just,” Ransom called softly as he grabbed your wrist “just don’t change your mind. Don’t make a decision,” he pleaded softly.

That pulled on your heartstrings much more than you would’ve liked.

Ryan made reservations at ‘Si Si Mediterranean Restaurant’ and you all got there just in time. He wanted to take the boat there, but Ransom came up with a bullshit reason as to why you all couldn’t. Something to do with the engine or rudder. You couldn’t bring yourself to focus because you were consumed with guilt. Your fiancee had gotten you and your ex-boyfriend lunch reservations to try and make things right, and the entire time you were just waiting for him to leave so you and Ransom could get back to figuring out what you two were and what you two would do.

Because, at the end of the day, that’s all it was: you and Ransom, selfishly trying to find a way to work things out, to be together again. You were silly to think that you could spend a week with Ransom and believe that nothing would happen between you two. In all honesty, you always knew you’d fall easily for him again, but lying to yourself had become one of your new favorite things.

“I hope you don’t mind, Ransom,” Ryan smiled once you all were seated, “I’m not sure what kind of food you like, but I know Y/N love Mediterranean food.”

“I’ve been to a lot of outings with her family,” Ransom smiled condescendingly, “I know all of her favorite places in Marlborough and in general.”

“I could tell by the menu you put together for our little dinner party,” Ryan smiled as he squeezed your hand gently.

The second the waiter came by. You asked for a Si Si Tai and slipped him a $200 tip to keep them coming.

The entire time Ransom and Ryan basically kept comparing dick sizes, you kept your sunglasses on and eyes on the water, trying to imagine you were anywhere else. Trying to imagine a better version of yourself, that you hadn’t let yourself become someone who was okay with sneaking and lying.

A cheater.

You found it funny that the one thing you’d left Ransom for was the one thing you were willing to commit with him.

“Babe, you okay?” Ryan asked you, pulling you out of your thoughts, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you lied with a faux smile. “Why, what’s up?”

“The waiter asked you for your order...like 3 times,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you laughed, quickly glancing at the menu. It’s not even like you were all that hungry. “I’ll take the lamb burger,” you smiled up at the waiter.

“Funny. Ransom said that’s what you’d want,” Ryan chuckled humorlessly to himself as the waiter walked away.

“What can I say? The man knows me,” you mused before taking a big sip of your Si Si Tai.

“Yeah, how do you two know each other? I mean, I know he works with your father but-”

“Harlan, his grandfather, introduced my dad to the whole family, and he and Ransom really to hit it off,” feeling the slightest bit of anger at the memory of how you first met Ransom.

“What do you-”

“Y/N’s father used to be a real piece of shit, and so was I. I guess, in a way, I still am,” Ransom interrupted as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Ransom sensed your anger and uneasiness and continued. “Her father decided that he liked me because I could get him all of the things he wanted, whether he should’ve had them or not.”

“And you two still became friends?” Ryan scoffed, taking a sip of his scotch, clearly enjoying being the cause of friction between you and Ransom.

“Well, we had a really long talk one night and it helped both of us see things in a different light,” Ransom smirked as he took a sip of his whiskey. “Things changed from then on.”

You smiled to yourself, remembering the night Ransom was talking about, taking note of that’s when your feelings towards him began to change. “Can we talk about something else? Remembering how my dad used to be a flaming pile of trash isn’t something I really wanna do today.”

“You’re right babe, I’m sorry,” Ryan smiled regretfully as Ransom rolled his eyes. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“The Patriots lineup is looking pretty promising for this season,” you smirked before taking a small sip of your drink.

“Babe, you know I hate it when-”

“You really think they have a chance?” Ransom laughed. “After last season, with the way they played against the Chiefs...”

“It was a rough year, but it wasn’t completely terrible. They’ll bounce back!”

“Whatever you say, Princess,” Ransom laughed before downing his whiskey while he signaled for another.

The rest of brunch went off without a hitch, but that didn’t mean there weren’t uncomfortable moments. Ryan felt out of place, which in turn made you feel a little bad for him. He was trying so hard though. He really wanted you to see, to know he was trying.

After he settled the bill, Ryan drove everyone back to Ransom’s. Ransom was quick to get out of the car, telling you that he’d set up a work space for you two before quickly going inside, barely waving goodbye to Ryan.

“I don’t know how much work he thinks you’ll get done like this,” Ryan chuckled softly as he looked you over. “I know that me coming here threw a wrench in the works, but I needed to see for myself.”

“See what?”

“That everything was okay. That we’re okay.”

“Ryan-”

“Listen, I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend or fiancee, but we’ve been doing better. I’m trying my best to be and do better.”

“What’s your point?”

“I know you don’t believe that he has an angle, but please just trust me: I know he does and I know he won’t treat you right.”

“Stop it-”

“Baby, please just-”

“What was any of this supposed to prove, Ryan? What was the purpose?”

“That I fucking love you and you love me!” he snapped before stomping his foot.

“Why is it that you only care now? Why does it took someone else coming along for you to realize that you love me so much?”

“Because I never had a reason to worry! I’ve always known how much I love you, why do you think I waited for you? I’ve always known you were the one for me and then when I finally got you, I just got comfortable and careless. And I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I won’t take you for granted ever again. I love you and I can’t wait till we’re married,” he smiled weakly, tears welled in both corners of his eyes.

“I have to get inside,” you muttered as you turned to walk away.

“Just please,” he begged softly, grabbing your wrist, “don’t forget what I’ve said. Don’t fall for him, it’s all just a game to him. You’re just a prize to him and he’ll never love you like I do. No one will,” he finished softly, giving you a small kiss on the cheek as he let go of your wrist.

All you did was nod before turning and going into the house. Ransom was standing in the living area with a cigarette lit and you knew you couldn’t talk to him just yet.

“I need a minute,” was all you said before going into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine, and making your way out back.

You sat by the pool and let the events of the day, the ghosts of past words spoken, roll around in your head. It was only 4pm and you were exhausted.

You knew that Ransom truly loved you, but he’d truly loved you before and he still shattered your heart. Ryan really had been trying to do better, but Ransom telling you that he was only in it for the money had you seeing things differently.

Ryan had always been obsessed with money and status.

As you continued to drink and wallow in self pity, ‘Run the Road’ started playing and you couldn’t help but laugh. The first time you’d heard the song was five years ago while you and Ransom were out clubbing in the Hamptons. It was the second night that you two had spent in the Hamptons, and Ransom was extremely possessive over you. He practically growled at every guy that approached you on the dance floor while he loved seeing how much they all hated him for having you.

“You’re all mine aren’t you?” he whispered hotly in your ear that night, as you swayed your hips to the music, your back ironed against his chest.

“Mhm, all yours Ransom,” you drunkenly giggled as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Can any of these guys fuck you?”

“No, only you,” you moaned as his hands traveled up and over your clothed breasts.

“That’s right,” he chuckled, as one of his hands snaked up and around your neck. “You’re my good girl. Look and see how jealous they all are,” he demanded softly.

You giggled a little when you bothered to remember that you two were in public and looked around at all the guys with lust and envy in their eyes. “You like showing me off, huh?”

“I love showing you off, Princess. Get to do it for a fucking week,” he chuckled as he gripped your hip and pulled you impossibly closer to him and you felt just how much he loved it. “I’ll never get tired of this pretty little cunt. I’ll never get tired of you,” he husked against the shell of your ear before nipping at it.

“Keep this up and we’ll give them a real show,” you moaned, your excitement building.

“They don’t deserve a show,” he muttered as he took notice of all the guys that were watching the two of you. “If one more of those fuckers tries to dance with you though, I’ll break their fuckin’ neck,” he growled.

“Lets get you off the dance floor,” you giggled, reluctantly freeing yourself from his hold while you turned to face him.

The memory made you laugh and smile because you remembered what came after; it also broke your heart. Ransom was extremely possessive and protective over you before he had the balls to finally tell you how he truly felt. Meanwhile, only a few short weeks ago, Ryan basically told you that he’s fine with you cheating because people need to have their fun.

“I half expected to find you with a cigarette,” Ransom commented softly, breaking you out of your thoughts as he took a seat next to you.

“Give it some time,” you sniffled softly, with a sad chuckle as you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand.

“Princess-”

“Ransom please don’t. Please.”

“You can’t go back to him.”

“I should just go home.”

“Please don’t. Not yet.”

“Ransom, we can’t do this. I can’t do this! What the fuck is wrong with me?!” you exclaimed, finally letting your tears flow freely. “When did I become this selfish? This much of a coward? This isn’t fair to either of you and I’m just trying to pretend-”

“I’m the one who asked you here, I’m the one who kissed you, and I’m the one who is selfishly begging you to stay. I know how much you love me and I keep hoping that it’ll just be enough to...”

When you saw Ransom’s own tears starting to fall, it made you feel even worse. “I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to give you false hope.”

“Then just stay with me!”

“Ransom...if he’s trying, I have to try, too.”

“No, you really fucking don’t. He’s a piece of shit and fuck...just stay here with me. We can start over and we can make it work this time. I know we can.”

“I love you so much. God, I love you so much it fucking hurts,” you smiled weakly as you took his face in your hand.

All Ransom did was pull you pull close and hold you tight as you both cried. It felt like you were leaving him all over again.

At some point, you fell asleep and Ransom must have carried you back to the master bedroom, because when you woke up you were alone in the dark. You slowly crept out of the bed and tiptoed down the stairs, not wanting to disturb Ransom since you didn’t know what he was doing. You saw the TV light illuminating the living area and you took a deep breath before making your way in.

You were about to ask him to talk when you noticed your phone on the coffee table in front of him. “I didn’t go through your phone,” Ransom stated softly, as if he were reading your mind, but his eyes never left the screen. “Ryan wouldn’t stop calling and texting you, so I brought your phone down here with me and text him from my phone telling him that you were asleep.”

“Thank you,” you stated softly, starting to fumble with your fingers. “I’m gonna start packing and-”

“Please don’t,” Ransom begged softly, still not looking at you.

“It’s better if I do.”

“No, it really isn’t.”

“Ransom-”

“Y/N, I’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re not gonna choose me and it’s what I deserve, that’s fine. I have to accept that, but I’m losing you all over again and I’m just not there yet. I’m...” he cleared his throat before finally turning to meet your gaze, eyes puffy and red. “Just stay for the rest of the week, please? If this is the last time I can be with you, truly be with you, just let me have it, please?”

How were you supposed to say no to him? It’s not even like you wanted to go back anyway. You said nothing as you sat down next to Ransom and he pulled you close. Both of your hearts were breaking all over again, so why not stay with the one person who truly understood what you were going through?

For the rest of the night, Ransom just held you and pressed soft kisses into your hair and kept telling you how much he loved you, while he quietly sobbed. In return, you just sobbed into his chest and held him as tight as you could, wishing you were strong enough to trust him again.

The rest of the week was spent arguing, crying, making love, and pretending. Pretending that life as a couple went on after the week was over. Pretending that the wedding plans your mother was always calling to tell you about (you left her in charge after the venue change because you truly didn’t care anymore), were for your and Ransom’s wedding. Pretending that whenever you spoke to Ryan and told him ‘I love you’, you were just saying it to someone who was an on and off again friend.

Pretending that you two weren’t the people you actually were, and that things hadn’t gotten fucked up all those years ago.

When Friday came, you were determined to stay in bed, trying to hold off Saturday for as long as possible.

“No, we’re getting up and doing things,” Ransom chuckled, as he peppered kisses up and down your cheek and neck.

“No, because that will make the day go faster and tomorrow will get here-”

“Tomorrow can fuck off. I’m not spending today in bed and moping with you. We’re going on the boat,” he quipped before getting up and putting on the pair of boxers you practically ripped out of him the night before.

“And if I refuse to drive it?” you huffed, sitting up and crossing your arms.

“Won’t matter, because I got a boating license,” he smirked as you laughed and flipped him off.

Nonetheless, you reluctantly got out of bed and took a shower before slipping into one of Ransom’s favorite sundresses, and slipping your phone into your pocket.

“You remember what happened the last time you wore that dress,” Ransom smirked as you came down the steps.

“You will behave and treat me like a lady, Mr.Drysdale,” you taunted with a coy finger wag.

“We both know you prefer it when I treat you like the little slut you are.”

“Are you trying to end up back in the bedroom?”

“You started it, not me,” he laughed as grabbed a bottle of wine and a picnic basket. “You ready, Princess?”

You just giggled and nodded.

The ride to the marina was light and free. You forced yourself to put the next day off as much as you could. You just wanted to be with Ransom, in the moment.

“Alright, I have to ask because it’s been bothering me,” you sighed, settling into the boat’s center council as Ransom dropped anchor in the middle of the ocean. “I know your restaurants are successful, and you have money in stocks and blah blah blah, but-”

“How am I able to afford this house out here and my house in Marlborough?” he chuckled as the low growl of the engine slowly faded. He made his way over to you.

“Mhm,” you nodded as you poured both glasses of wine.

“I became a stripper after you left me,” he sighed heavily as you choked on your wine. “I couldn’t fucking help it, I’m so sorry, baby,” your hysterical reaction made him laugh so hard he almost fell over.

“You’re such a shithead!” you laughed, cleaning up any spilled wine droplets that landed on the wood panels.

“And you love it,” he smiled before kissing you. “No, in all honesty, Harlan gave me half of Walt’s inheritance,” he smirked, taking a drink himself.

“What?!”

“Well, after the last time I fucked up, I knew I had to make serious changes. Without going into detail, I told Harlan about my plan to open up a restaurant and wanting to branch off on my own. I didn’t go to him for money, because I needed to do this on my own to show both you and myself that I was capable of doing it. I just wanted to bounce ideas off him and get his feedback. When I finally got to work on the restaurant, he told me he was impressed and proud of me for doing something on my own. He was also pissed off at Walt, and has been for a while, because he won’t do anything on his own. He waits for whatever Harlan feeds him then wants to try and force his ideas on him instead of just creating something on his own. So, he told me that he wants to put his money to better use, so he gave me half of Walt’s inheritance,” Ransom finished with a shrug before downing the rest of his wine. He poured himself another glass.

“Why Hugh Ransom Drysdale, you little shit!” you laughed and smiled. “But how did you get him to give it to you early? It’s an inheritance.”

“I asked him for it upfront, because I wanted the mansion before I’d have to go into a fucking bidding war. I explained that all of my money was going into the restaurant and that I really wanted to make an offer. He was hesitant at first, but he saw how dedicated I really was and how seriously I was taking it, and gave me the money. Pissed Walt off and made Harlan proud at the same time,” he chuckled.

“I’m really proud of you, babe,” you smiled softly.

“Yeah? You wanna show me how proud you are?” He smiled devilishly.

“As much as I would love that,” you giggled, “we’re not as alone as we were the last time we did this.” you nodded towards the young adults laughing and going by on their jet skis and own yachts.

“They’re just a bunch of spoiled little fuck heads.”

“You were once one of those spoiled little fuck heads,” you laughed.

“Oh, I’m an old fuck head now?”

“Older, baby. You don’t fuck like an old man at all.”

“Then put my ego at ease right now,” he smirked as he put his wine glass down and slowly made his way over to you.

“Ransom, people will most definitely see!”

“It’s not like you give a fuck and you know I don’t,” he husked as one of his hands sneaked under your dress and started to rub your clit teasingly. “No panties? Oh Princess, you’re fucking begging to be fucked out in the open. You want everyone to know who this pussy belongs to, don’t you?” he teased.

“Yes,” you moaned, arching your back a little. “Fuck, Ransom!” you cried as he slid two fingers inside of you.

“Such a good little slut for me,” he groaned before dipping down and kissing you deeply.

“Take that inside!” one of the boys on a passing boat yelled.

“Can I join?!” another girl yelled.

“I fucking hate young people,” Ransom mumbled against your lips as he used his free hand to flip them off and you started laughing. “I’m gonna kill them. I’m going to kill all of them.”

“I thought you didn’t mind being watched,” you laughed, trying to catch your breath.

“I don’t give a fuck who watches, but be grateful you get to see at all and shut the fuck up,” he huffed, sitting up and pulling his fingers out of you.

“Oh sweetie,” you moaned with a soft laugh.

“Fuck, I am becoming a grumpy old man,” he groaned as you laughed harder.

“Oh baby, I have a surprise for you tonight that won’t have you feeling old at all. I won’t let you.”

“Does it involve me being deep inside that tight little asshole?”

“If you play your cards right,” you smirked before taking his two fingers into your mouth and sucking and licking them clean.

“Shit!” he groaned, palming himself over his shorts “keep this up and I’ll show every one of those little shits how to fuck!”

“Patience, my love,” you laughed after you finished cleaning off his fingers. “Lets go back home and get ready for tonight.”

“No, because I made your favorite for lunch and I-”

“You made me a Cuban melt?! I fucking love you!” you exclaimed, tackling him with a hug.

“I love you too, Princess,” he laughed, wrapping you in a hug that was just as tight.

“See? I want a love just like that!” a girl exclaimed as another boat went by.

Lunch went so well that neither of you wanted to head back, but you really wanted to take Ransom out. Yeah, it would be noisy and rowdy, but it would be worth it in the end.

“What should I wear for tonight?” he called from the bedroom as you put your makeup on in the bathroom.

“Fun casual,” you smirked as you touched up your lip liner.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“Just trust me,” you laughed, finishing up and making your way out of the bathroom.

“You look like that and expect me to want to go out?”

“Lets go, my little horn ball.”

“I fucking love you, did you know that?”

“I had a feeling,” you smirked as the car service pulled up. “Lets go, baby.”

The first stop was the first place he took you out for dinner, The Palm in the East Hamptons, and he was happily shocked. You both talked about your future plans as if you were going to be together when they happened. He took your hand in his often and kissed the top of it as much as you’d let him, before it was time to move on to the next place.

“You’re so fucking funny, did you know that?” he laughed as the car pulled up to MARS. The bar that changed everything for the both of you.

“I just wanted to see you smile, baby,” you laughed as you both made your way out of the car.

“You found the perfect way to do that,” he grinned.

You both spent the night pretending that you both weren’t as old as you actually were, dancing and drinking, ignoring the voices in your head that kept telling you that it would all be over in a few hours. All that mattered in that moment was Ransom and how you both made each other feel complete.

“I wanna take you home,” Ransom slurred slightly in your ear, as you continued to grind your hips against his as you two danced to whatever Ariana Grande song had been remixed.

“Home sounds nice,” you giggled, turning around in his hold and looking up at him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Our home.”

“That’s right, baby. Our home,” he smiled sincerely.

The minute you two got inside, Ransom was all over you, pulling your dress off as you furiously worked to unbutton his shirt. You both were toeing off your shoes instantly as you did your best to unbutton and unzip his pants. In one swift move, he was hoisting you up as you wrapped your legs around him, carrying you to the bedroom.

Ransom loved you repeatedly that night and it felt like heaven. At one point, you couldn’t help but start to cry, because you knew the fairy tale would be over soon. Ransom just kissed them away as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly.

“Just be here with me right now. Tomorrow can wait till just then,” he moaned with a weak smile.

You tried to fight off sleep, but Ransom held you close and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. You were fast asleep within’ minutes.

When you awoke the next morning, Ransom was awake and watching you, stroking the side of your face softly as the gentle Spring breeze kissed the room.

“I don’t mean to be creepy, I just wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as possible,” he smiled softly, though his puffy red eyes let you know that he’d been crying.

“No, you’re fine. This is nice...everything has been so nice,” you whispered, trying to fight back your own tears. “I should get up and pack,” you sniffled after you cleared your throat.

“I packed your things while you were sleeping, please just stay here with me for a bit. If this is it, I just want us to...lets just live in this for a little bit longer.”

“We can do that,” you nodded as a lone tear escaped your eye.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re asleep. You’re so peaceful.”

“That’s only when I fall asleep next to you,” you chuckled softly.

“Waking up next to you every day would be perfect,” he smiled, cupping your face in his hand as you kissed his wrist softly. “What do you think our wedding would’ve been like?”

“We would’ve eloped in Paris,” you laughed as he used to his thumb to wipe away another one of your tears.

“Paris, huh?”

“Mhm, we have to make something about it at least a little romantic. No annoying families, no unwanted guests, no big to-do...just us in Paris. Saying ‘I Do’ and living happily ever after.”

“I like that a lot.”

“I thought you would.”

“Y/N, please don’t go. We can do this...make this work.”

“Ransom, please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“If it’s so hard, you should just stay!”

“I can’t. I just can’t,” you sobbed, leaning into his touch.

Ransom said nothing. He just pulled you closer as he kissed you deeply, the pain in his heart evident by his grip on you.

“You are perfect to me...for me. I love you,” he whispered against your lips.

You and Ransom loved each other with all that you each had, leaving each other spent, as your lonely, quiet sobs and moans filled the room. After all was said and done, you forced yourself out of Ransom’s hold and got dressed. Ransom wordlessly watched you as he tried to keep his crying to a minimum. You gave him one final kiss before grabbing your bag and leaving.

As you sat in your car, you contemplated going back inside and just staying with him. You knew you couldn’t. For as much as you loved Ransom, you’d loved him that much before and it hadn’t been enough.

The entire drive back to your apartment you cried as if the most precious person in your world had been taken from you; because as far as you were concerned, he had.

From that day on, you did your best to force yourself into a roll that you just didn’t fit in to. You fake laughed and smiled as everyone in the office counted down to your wedding. You pretended to be happy every time your mother(s) told you about changes they’d made in designs and color schemes. You pretended it didn’t matter when they took out peonies from the bridal bouquet, because it didn’t matter to you anymore. None of it mattered.

When Ryan made love to you, you always pretended to be somewhere else, with someone else. When he showed you houses he was interested in, you barely offered any feedback. When he gave a heartfelt speech at the rehearsal dinner, you just smiled and nodded along with everyone else, because that’s what you were supposed to do. The tears you cried were real, however. No, you weren’t crying over Ryan’s words, but because everything was all wrong. Ryan was never supposed to be your husband. It was never supposed to get as far as it did; you just didn’t have the strength or courage to stop your life from taking the turn it did.

Which is why you’re currently sitting in the bridal suite, looking for a fire escape before the heat consumes you, but what choice do you have? At this point, you truly feel as if you don’t deserve Ransom, and Ryan is just...he’s just okay. There are much worse men that you could’ve settled for at the end of the day. You keep trying to force yourself to come to terms with your choice all while the last bit of fight within you keeps screaming: run for the hills, as fast as you can.

‘Run to Ransom,’ you tell yourself mentally.

Why can’t anything ever be simple? Why can’t love ever be kind to you?

Ransom’s P.O.V.

There’s a different kind of pain you feel when you know you’re about to lose the love of your life to entitled piece of shit. Then again, I guess I’m an entitled piece of shit; takes one to know one and all of that. That’s really the reason I treated Y/N like shit. I knew that I loved you and that I’d eventually get my shit together. I just expected you to wait.

Because that’s what I wanted, and I always get my way.

At least, I did before you came along and changed everything. In my defense (as if I actually have one), how was I supposed to know that you’d be all consuming and soul stirring? Yeah, I knew what I felt for you was more than lust, but I’d never been in love before. Love is for fools, but God what a fucking fool I am.

I took you for granted, but I swore that if you took me back (again), I’d never do it again. I finally got it. I finally understood why everyone searched for love so desperately. Out of all the drugs I’ve ever done, love was definitely the most addictive and consuming.

But then you left.

Just vanished into thin air. I told myself I had a reason to be angry. A reason to be hurt. In reality, I was only ever angry with myself because I pushed you to it. It took time, but I used that pain to do better for you. To be better for you. The only problem? You never came back. I kept waiting and asking, but no one would tell me anything other than that you were happy, and that I needed to leave you alone. Something inside of me told me that you weren’t. I wish I could explain it, and maybe it was just me selfishly hoping that you weren’t. Maybe I was trying to make it easier to get you to come back to me, even though I knew you wouldn’t.

I tried to move on, focus on other things and other women, but none of them were you. It all felt hallow.

Then, it was as if God was finally listening, because I found out that you were coming home. The only problem was you were engaged. I couldn’t believe it and I had to see it for myself. I set up a fake meeting with your father, just so I could see you. I needed to see for myself that you were happy and okay. I told myself that if you were happy, I’d force myself to be strong enough and move on; that seeing you one last time would be the end of it. The moment I saw you coming down that grand staircase, I fell in love with you all over again. It was the single most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, and I truly believe God took more time making you than He did anyone else.

Even for as gorgeous as you looked, I saw the truth behind the smile you wore that night. It almost seemed overly rehearsed, and your eyes looked like you were on auto-pilot. So I decided to stay close by, but out of sight: I needed to find out what exactly was doing this to you, making you so unhappy. Then I heard how he spoke to you. How he yelled at you, spoke down to you, and dismissed your feelings. I didn’t mean to barge in on you two, but all of the raised voices sounded as if things were about to get violent. I would’ve murdered him on the spot if he would’ve laid a finger on you.

The way you looked at me that night though...it was everything, because you couldn’t just be angry. No, there was a hint of longing, of happiness. Love even dared to give a hint of itself away.

I truly hadn’t meant to bring up the past when I got you alone that night, but it had been so long and I had so many questions. So many grievances.

As if I had any right.

You lied and told me you didn’t love me, which I of course coerced out of you because I never know when to stop, but it pissed me off nonetheless. How could you try to lie to me like I wouldn’t be able to tell? Jesus, I know I hurt you, but telling me you don’t love me anymore? That was below the belt.

In all my rage, anger, and self-pity, I announced that stupid dinner party for you two because maybe there was something I was missing. Maybe he really was good for you, and I just witnessed you two having a bad night. The scowl on your face the next day let me know that was bullshit. He treated you like shit the entire time you two were there and it made my blood boil. I told you I was sorry and I meant it. I was trying to show you that I’d changed, and I was pretending that I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t even look my way. I was selfish, I was angry, and I was hurt. So when Diana told me that you were smoking in the coat check room, of course I had to barge in and make a fuss. However, the way you looked in that dress...how was I supposed to stop myself?

It was like the first time all over again. You were just as needy and desperate as I was, unable to control myself just like you had no control; an infinitely satisfying, irresistible, intoxicating chaos. You felt like home because you were home, to and for me. Everything that I had been looking for with other women finally made sense when I was with you, like you are an answer to the questions inside my heart.

I knew I pushed too far when I made you admit that you loved me more than you love him, but I needed to hear it. After you gave me what I needed with that confession, I tried to give you what you needed: a quick and easy release, no strings attached.

The only problem? I’m a selfish fuck.

There’s no way I could let you go after you finally admitted that you still loved me, so in my infinite wisdom, had to push and get you to come to our place in the Hamptons. Just when I thought I had you again, he came along and took you away. Well, he had you at least attempting it again, which meant that there was a chance that things could still workout the way we both really wanted them to.

However, you never cracked. You didn’t text or call me asking me to come and get you, you never showed up at my door and asked me to whisk you away. You didn’t even come by the restaurant. I kept holding my breath and hoping for the best until last night when I finally caved.

“You can’t let her marry him, Sam!” I exclaimed as soon as she answered the phone.

“Ransom, she’s in the other room! I can’t do this right now because she’s barely holding it together-”

“Which is why you need to convince her to call it off!”

“So what? She can marry you?”

“Sam, I know you hate me and don’t want her with me, but we’re on the same fucking page. You know just as well as I do that he’s no good for her!”

Sam let out a heavy sigh before responding. “I know you’re right, Ransom, but I’ve talked to her about it multiple times. She’s dead set on this because she feels like she has to do it. I don’t know what’s not computing in her head, especially after the week she spent with you-”

“She told you about that?”

“She tells me every thing, Ransom. Of course I know about the week she spent with you.”

“What did she say about that weekend?”

“Ransom-”

“Even you have to admit that I’m not the same man I was before, Samantha. You know that all I want for her is the best and that I truly do love her. I’m trying to look out for her and-”

“Ransom, I know! I fucking know but I’m torn! Neither one of you are actually worth her time, but in telling you what she cried to me about...I just know it won’t be good,” she finished with a sigh.

Sam was right. Here I am, sitting in my bed, cigarette lit, as I contemplate fucking up your life or not.

You may end up hating me, but sometimes love is selfish and confusing. I’ve accepted that you won’t choose me, but I love you too much to let you go and watch you destroy yourself.

I’ve gotta put a stop to this.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

‘You’ve come this far, you just have to go through with it,’ you think to yourself as you try to get yourself ready to walk down the isle. ‘This will work. It has to work.’

“God, you look so gorgeous,” an all too familiar deep voice practically whispered from the doorway.

“Ransom, what are you doing here?!” you snap quietly, quickly turning your attention to him. “You can’t be here!”

“You can’t marry him, princess. You just...don’t pick me, fine, but you know that marrying him won’t do you any good.”

“Everyone’s already here and everything’s been paid for-”

“Stop making excuses!” Ransom interjects, forcing himself to keep his composure. “You know you don’t want this! You don’t want him! Look at all of this shit! You don’t even like more than half of the people here!” he almost shouts as he makes his way over to you. “Y/N-”

“Ransom, please don’t make this harder than it already is-”

“It shouldn’t have to be hard! Baby, please don’t do this!” Ransom begs as he gets on his knees and your tears start to fall. “We can leave right now and you do whatever you want, be with whoever you want, but I can’t watch you do this to yourself. I can’t let you destroy yourself because of what I did,” Ransom pleads as his own tears start to fall.

“I can’t just-”

“Sunshine, it’s...oh God,” your father mutters as you both turn your gaze to the doorway and see both him and your mother standing there. “Son-”

“Don’t let her do this,” Ransom demands, his tears falling freely as he stands up. “You know just as well as I do that this marriage is going to kill her. It’s going to take whatever light is left in her and destroy it! I know this is my fault but-”

“The choice is Y/N’s,” your mother interrupts softly, trying to hold back her own tears. “If she says this is for the best...”

“But we all know this isn’t!” Ransom interrupts harshly. “She knows it isn’t, don’t you?” he asks as his gaze goes back to you.

You look from him to your parents before taking a deep breath. “I’ll be fine, Ransom. I’m not yours to worry about. We had our chance and now it’s time for me to move on-”

“This isn’t even about me, Y/N! I just...I love you so much and I can’t just-”

“My mind is made up,” you sniffle out before drying your eye with the back pf your hand. “I love you. Thank you, but I’ll be fine,” you smile meekly before giving him a soft kiss on the cheek, walking over to your parents.

“Y/N-”

“I have to let you go, Ransom. I just have to,” you sob mournfully as you adjust your posture and look straight ahead.

Why do you have to be so stubborn? Why can’t you just forgive and take him back?

‘Remember what happened the last time you did that? The only thing you can do is move forward and hope for the best’ you mentally tell yourself as you start to walk down the isle.

The heat of everyone’s gaze has you wishing you were anywhere else. Ryan flashes you a smile and you feel sick. All of it feels wrong. Your mother went with roses, which you hate because everyone has roses. The bridesmaid dresses are cream colored and you just want to set them all on fire, because who the fuck decided that was okay?

‘Probably Ryan’s mom,’ you scoff mentally.

The venue is loud and stupid, you don’t like half the people there, you hate the dress you’re in, and you’re not head over heels for the man that’s in front of you. It isn’t the man you want.

‘You’re already here, there’s nothing else to do but hope for the best. Love, genuine deep and soul consuming love, will come...I hope,’ you repeat to yourself mentally as the priest starts on his little speech about love and the sanctity of marriage.

As the priest goes on, you start to think about your future and all of the big moments that are to come, and Ryan was by your side in none of them. It was only Ransom.

It’s always Ransom.

At some point, you found yourself muttering ‘I do’, though you didn’t really feel like you were. Your heart isn’t committing to anything, and your brain sure as shit isn’t following in line with any of it.

‘Why are you doing this? There’s literally no reason for any of this. He loves the idea of marrying you, but he doesn’t actually love you. You know better than to fall for this! Just fucking run!’ you mentally yell yourself.

“If there’s anyone here who can find reason as to why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the priest happily declares.

The room is silent but you can feel Ransom’s gaze on you. You know what’s coming without even looking his way.

‘Always saving me....always breaking me,’ you chuckle internally.

“Fuck it, I’m not good enough for her but neither is this piece of shit,” Ransom huffs as he lights a cigarette. “Besides the fact she spent almost a week fucking me, she doesn’t love him. Not enough to make this sham of a marriage work. Her heart belongs to me just like mine belongs to her. That’s just how it’ll always be,” he shrugs before taking a long drag from his smoke.

“That’s bullshit! There’s no way...right, babe?” Ryan questions as his incensed gaze lands on you.

With hundreds of eyes on you, it’s time for you to make a choice. Do you go back to what you know or do you branch off into another adventure? Do you take the safe bet or do you follow your heart?

Ransom and the rest of your guests are desperately waiting to find out.

Taglist: @fuckingbye​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whxre4cevans​

, @sweetflowerdreams​, 

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[onigiri-dorkk]

GAAAHHH!!! So many milestones lately!!

Last week we hit 300 Tumblr followers and 100 Twitter followers! But more meaningfully…

Yesterday we hit 4,000 hits for Microcosmos!

And today we hit 200 kudos for Microcosmos!!

😭😭

Now I know Ao3 stats will never reflect things accurately, but milestones for Microcosmos will forever mean soooo much to me because of how precious this story will always be to my heart! I started it as a one-shot with “maybe someday I’ll be able to make more chapters for this story idea,” and then Ch2 came, then Ch3 that same week, and so on. (Literally, I didn’t even have a title for it until @levi4mikasa told me to title it LOL) Creative writing was always something I’ve appreciated but never believed I could dabble in on my own, and I’m 15 chapters in, wrapping up this story and feeling so so so proud of the consistent effort these last 3.5 months writing and daydreaming this.

It started off as a one-shot meant for my own pleasure, put into existence what I have imagined for SO long in that sliver of time in AoT, and it ended up being a fleshed out story that others have enjoyed alongside me and I can’t be grateful enough.

I have shed tears for this story!! I’ve lol’d for this story!! I’ve taken time off work for this damn story!! LOL! And to see handfuls of other humans enjoying the story WITH me is just so rewarding. The intense joy, uncontrollable smiles, laughter I’ve experienced just reading your feedback, your excitement, anticipation, heartaches (sorry), etc has been LITERALLY the best freaking experience and it has given me a context for why fandom writers and creators do what they do without pay, etc. It has even made me push my limits and do things I never thought I’d be capable of writing *cough* SMUT

This story has also made me dive deeper into our Rivamika fandom community. Honestly I say this so often but our fandom is the freakin best even tho it’s so small. I will take interacting w the same 30 of y’all forever over getting along w the millions of Attack on Titan fandom folks lol. I’m glad we have this sweet small flow of creativity and support and excitement amongst each other.

Maybe I’m extra sappy because the story is ending but I just want to say thank you again to any and all who have enjoyed reading Microcosmos so far, especially those of y’all sticking through til the end! And even if you’ve only read Ch1 and didn’t dig it (lol!), I am STILL grateful you read some of my words. :) It has been a FREAKIN BLASTTTTT and I want to plan on writing more stories for Rivamika — for our fandom’s sake, but also for my sake!!! It is such a fantastic creative outlet for me and I’m thankful I got to discover it within our fandom.

Anyway, idk if this story will ever reach like crazy crazy top rivamika ff stats, but it’s not created for that and as long as people still enjoy it, even on rereads, that is all that matters 🥹 My secret hope is that it reaches non-Rivamika shippers and helps to convert them HEHEHEH

Ok I’ll stop here LOL I love y’all and want to hug you in person!! Sending virtual hugs to all of you!!!!