#I hope this doesn’t come across as like mean or anything 😭 not trying to be I swear

[loganhowlettsmybf]

hated desire

pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader

warnings: almost smut, swearing, fighting, knives, mention of blood

summary: you hate logan howlett. especially when you can see his, sweaty and naked muscular upper body while you two are training.

word count: 500+

a/n: aghh i’m literally shaking, i hope you like it🫶🏻 also everyone here is so sweet and supportive😭 so thank y’all for encouraging me

[english isn’t my first language, so sorry if there’s any mistakes but i still hope it’s enjoyable<333]

(also my requests are open, so feel free to ask one-shots that comes to your mind or just message me anything🫶🏻)

you hated him.

you hated his arrogant attitude, his ego. just because he has a body of a god and he knew it, that doesn’t mean he has to be an ass.

but the thing you hate the most about him is how wet he makes you, when you two are training together and he doesn’t wear a shirt so you can see all his detailed muscles.

like in the exact. same. moment.

you snapped back into the reality, daydreaming is for later, right now you have to kick his ass.

“ready to lose again, howlett?” you taunted, flipping a knife effortlessly between your fingers.

logan snorted, a smirk curling his lips. “you wish, sweetheart. let’s see if you can keep up.”

you lunged at him with a swift, well-practiced strike, but logan blocked it with his claws.

"you fight like a little girl," logan smirked, feinting a strike.

"it is so much better than fighting like an old man," you shot back, while one of your knife is grazing his side, a little blood dropping out of him. but that was just for a moment, he healed immediately.

oh how much you hated his healing ability too.

“fuck,” logan grunted, more annoyed, than hurt. He spun, catching your wrist and twisting it just enough to make you drop the knives. the closeness of your bodies sent a shiver down your spine. you could feel his breath on your neck, his muscular frame pressing against you.

“is that all you got?” logan growled, his voice low and husky. he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. “i thought you were tougher than this.”

in a swift motion, you freed yourself, your knives flashing as you launched another attack while logan blocked you effortlessly.

you pushed back, using your agility to twist away, but not before grazing his side with your blade.

“did I just cut you? again? ohh, you're getting sloppy,” you say while trying to steady your racing heart.

logan’s eyes darkened. he advanced with a ferocity that matched your own. in a swift, fluid motion, logan disarmed you, pinning you against the wall with his claws dangerously close to your throat, your faces inches apart.

"you think you can keep me against the wall?" you breathed.

logan's lips curling into a dangerous smile. "i think you like it when i do," he murmured, his face so close you could feel his breath. “you think i don’t know how wet you’re everytime you see me. just like right now. and how this position with my claws, against your throat turns you on,” he whispered in your ear.

you started to panic. you didn’t know what his next action will be. the tension between you was growing, and before you could even say something he was kissing you, hard and demanding. at first you were surprised, but you responded with equal fervor, you hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, his hands gripping your hips as he pressed you even harder against the wall.

your kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more desperate. logan’s claws retracted, and he lifted you easily, your legs wrapping around his waist. you felt yourself melting against him. your hatred mixed with an undeniable hunger.

just as things were about to get out of control, logan pulled back, his breathing was heavy.

"this ain't the place," he growled, though his eyes were filled with the same desire that burned in you. he brushed his thumb across your swollen lips. “but don’t think even just for a minute, that this is over.”

[revelboo]

AAAH!! I wasn't expecting you to actually do a story for Rumble 😭 I squealed when I saw it on my timeline 💙 thank you so much and every blessing upon ye, I hope your crops are flourishing, skin is clear etc. etc.

🤣 18+ content 🌶️

Alcohol Eyes Pt 2

IDW Rumble x Reader

• Almost groaning when the little human leans back to put some space between them, his servos flex against soft skin, wanting to pull you back to him. Wanting more as he drops his head against the crook of your neck, mouth finding and chasing the quick beat of your pulse. Hearing that husky laugh of yours that runs electric through him to wind him tight as his palms slide over your soft body. Why had he been so against coming here? He loves it here, loves the noise and press of bodies. Especially yours as he does drag you back to him. “Maybe we can make this a private party?” You ask and he’s not entirely sure what you mean by that, but he’s hoping his guess is right.

• Your stranger’s mouth is on your neck, his lips branding heat over your skin, feeling the barest slip of teeth threatening to nip sending need shivering through you. Forget taking him home as your blood heats. You want this. Pulling away makes him make a low noise that’s almost a growl of protest as you grip his hand and tug him along with you. Half your attention on keeping an eye out for your ex to avoid a fight as you lead your new friend toward the back storage room. You’d worked in the club right out of high school and knew no one ever bothered to lock that door, and you thank every deity you can think of when you find it still unlocked now. It’s darker in here the one bulb hanging from a bare socket doing little to chase away the shadows as you turn to lock the door behind you both.

• Reaching as soon as the lock clicks, Rumble pulls you back into him, servos sliding over you. Venting roughly against your throat, as you reach back to loop an arm around his neck. “Slow down, I’m not going anywhere,” you say, reaching back your other hand to run warm fingers over his thigh. “You want to take off the costume?”

• “No,” he growls, his own hand sliding down your belly, exploring with hesitant touches along the waist band of your jeans. “No.” The word is more insistent, almost desperate when you catch his wrist, like he thinks you’re about to stop him. Shuddering against your back when you guide his hand down the front of your clothes, showing him where you need him.

• Venting raggedly, he cups slick, warm flesh and finds your core to slip a servo inside, feeling the way your heat grips him. “That’s good,” you whisper, leaning your upper body across a container, thighs spreading to give him more access to stroke deeper, his spike aching to be freed. Pulling his hand free to try and figure out how to undo your coverings has you laughing again, the sound stroking over him. “No chill at all, huh?” Shifting to undo that little button and push your pants down. No, he doesn’t have any chill or restraint, wanting this. Needing it as he nudges you back down on your front over the container, freeing his spike to grip himself and slide his length against your slickness. “Wait, my purse. I think I have some-“ you’re saying as he finds you and buries himself inside that wet, welcoming heat that fists his spike, hearing you moan. “Never mind.”

• So much for condoms, but as he rocks his hips, that thick length stroking slowly inside you, there’s no worrying about anything beyond him moving. “Frag, you’re tight,” he snarls, that rough accent you can’t quite place right in your ear as his big hands tighten on your hips to the point you know there’ll be bruising, but he’s still not moving, so you do, rocking as much as you can with your hips up.

• You move against him, pushing yourself back and then he’s thrusting into that wet heat despite wanting to savor the feel of you wrapped around him, that sense of connection he’d been sure he’d never have because of his size, because of his modifications. You’re so small under him as he ruts against you, using his grip on your hips to pull you back to meet the urgent drive of his hips. Hearing the wet sounds of your body taking him and your low, needy sounds that are only for him, because this? It’s his. You’re his.

• He’s not holding back, hips slapping against you, moving hard and deliciously fast. And he is growling, hands flexing on your hips as his frantic thrusts drive you to that peak, then over as he drapes himself against your back with a deep drive of his hips, his mouth against the back of your shoulder, his hips moving in sharp, shallow thrusts as he releases and you tighten on the thick length of him inside you, milking him. “Rumble,” he groans against your skin, hips still moving in shallow, lazy thrusts and you can feel his excess on your inner thigh.

• You lay your cheek on your outstretched arm, head turning to look back at him from the corner of your eye. Smiling when he hesitantly reaches to slide sweat slick hair back from your temple, the intimate gesture stealing your breath for a moment. “Hi, Rumble,” you murmur, laughing softly when he presses himself tighter against you, sheathing himself deep and savoring it as his spark twists with a hunger that’s new and consuming. He’d never really paid much attention to organics before aside from Starscream’s and they were more like a particularly helpless sibling needing protecting. Nothing like this.

• He hasn’t taken off any of his costume except what he’d needed to free himself to fuck you. It’s weird, but not a deal breaker. Not with the lazy way your thighs are trembling or how he’d felt, still feels, inside you. “Can we go again?” He asks so earnestly, so hopefully, and you rock yourself against him in answer. Because while you’d only wanted a quickie to thank him, you’re wondering, praying, he’s single. Because the almost reverent way his big hands slide against your skin, the press of his mouth against your spine in a hungry kiss? This guy’s going to ruin you.

Previous

Next

[winterchimez]

A New Beginning With You | Lee Juyeon

SUMMARY: it has been a couple of years since you and your childhood best friend, Juyeon, went on your separate ways. Years later, you were given the opportunity to return to Seoul to pursue a new career, only to find out that your new employer is the one you have been dreading to see. Will you toss away all of the emotions again, or will you finally come to terms and fix this broken relationship with him?

PAIRING: ceo!Juyeon x f!reader

GENRE: office au, ex-childhood friends to lovers, coming of age, angst, fluff

WARNINGS: nc-17, slow-burn, this is pretty angsty ngl 😭, betrayal, several heart wrenching moments (it takes a while for both Juyeon and reader to figure out their emotions), language (one curse word), miscommunication, alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk a couple of times, several heated arguments, petnames (princess, sweetheart), kissing

WORD COUNT: 15,466

A/N: here is my submission for deoboyznet's holiday exchange event!! boo @cloverdaisies i'm your secret santa 🎅👀 ngl i did struggle with the prompts that you gave mainly cs i don't usually read/watch coming of age works so i hope i did this fic justice 🥹🥹🥹 big big shoutout to @momhwa-agenda for choosing the banner, also helping me to beta read (along with @from-izzy @juyeonszn) sending my unending kisses and hugs to all of you 😘💕

Seven years ago 

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” 

It all just felt so sudden, and you weren’t sure if you were hallucinating as you heard those words that came out from the mouth of your best friend for the past seventeen years. You both have made a promise to one another since you both were in kindergarten that no matter how big or small the situation may be, you both will always have each other’s backs and that no secrets were to be kept from one another, even if they may feel like you have been punched right into the face during the aftermath of it all. 

Or that was what you thought. 

“Y/N…I had no control over anything…you do know how my father often has to travel across the globe for his job—”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you decided to keep it a secret from me when you first discovered that you were potentially going to follow your father’s footsteps for his company.” 

From the beginning, you knew that Juyeon’s father worked at a relatively elite corporate company. Because of his status, he was often sent away to various countries to fulfill his job. It has been decades since his father has been in and out of Seoul, and he would often travel on his own not wanting to bother his family and wanting them to have a peaceful life here. 

Never in a million years would you have thought that he would bring his entire family along with him as he starts a new chapter in his life in the States, and also get Juyeon to follow in his father’s footsteps. 

You were on the verge of crying, your cheeks were heating up, and you had unintentionally balled up your fists, clearly failing terribly to suppress the anger and betrayal you felt. 

“I just don’t get it, Juyeon. You have always wanted to pursue basketball. Hell, you have even sought a sports scholarship to get into one of the prestigious universities in Seoul! Why are you giving up now?” You huffed. 

You could tell that he was showing some reluctance in his answer, and truthfully, he didn’t really know how to give you an answer, either. But he decided to reply in the most plausible and fitting one that was right for the current situation you both were in. 

“Family has to always come first, Y/N. If it were for my family's future, especially my stay-at-home mother and younger brother, I would do anything to ensure my father and I can provide for them.” 

You scoffed. “Bullshit.” 

You took a few steps forward until you were merely inches apart. Looking straight into Juyeon’s eyes, you could tell he felt the same way and was also trying to hold back his tears. 

“You’re not the Juyeon I know. My Juyeon, who has been right by my side ever since we were kids, would always go above and beyond to work for what he truly wants. He is never afraid to voice his opinion, and he would do anything to ensure his happiness would be fulfilled no matter the consequences.” 

Finally, the tears that you have held back for so long began dripping down your face as you began to hit him simultaneously on his chest.  

“What exactly happened to you, Juyeon?”

At the same time, tears clouded his vision as a single teardrop dripped onto his face. You could tell that something was holding him back from telling you the truth, if any, and his following answer would break you down even more.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

With that, a black car pulls up at the school entrance, revealing his younger brother rolling down the window to call out for his big brother. You could see multiple pieces of luggage lined up at the back trunk of the car, and they were ready to head straight to the airport. 

With a glance back to signal to his family that he would be coming shortly, he turned to you to apologise once more before gently pushing you away to leave.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I wish you all the best in your future as you enter university and eventually the workforce.” 

Just like that, Juyeon quickly sped down the stairs and opened the door to the car before settling in. Within seconds, his parents, sitting in the front seats, gave you a little wave before they drove away right through the exit. 

Almost instantly, all of the built-up tension was suddenly released from you all at once, and you finally broke down crying at the entrance of your high school. What you thought would be a memorable, happy graduation for you both as you parted ways with your youth years turned out to be one sad separation from your best friend. 

You both planned your summer holidays with one another before officially enrolling in university in the autumn. You were going to head to Busan for a five-day trip during the first month, going to visit your aunt who lived on the outskirts of Seoul to help her in her fieldwork (especially when she has a soft spot for Juyeon), and even going to visit all of the bazaars that were going to be held in central Seoul. 

There were so many potential activities and times you could have had with one another, and you were even planning to propose to Juyeon that you wanted to be more than just childhood friends. 

Because you have been having an insane crush on him since you were kids, and you realised it was love by the time you both entered high school.

Unfortunately, it was too late to confess your love to him, as he was now long gone, heading straight to the airport before he eventually said his final goodbye to his home for the past seventeen years, Seoul. 

Maybe it was fate that you both were just not meant to be with one another; perhaps it was why his father had no choice but to bring his whole family with him to start a new life in the States. 

For the first time, you cursed and blamed yourself for having such hope and planning a potential future with someone who was clearly out of your league, and you thought it had all been a waste of time since the beginning. 

With that, the little needle-felted cat you have been hiding and made last night was released from your grips as he fell towards the stairs and eventually towards the ground. As you noticed, more tears kept welling up in your eyes, and you brought both hands to cover your face, not wanting to care about anything right now. 

I shouldn’t have had so much hope. I was stupid enough actually to fall in love with you, Juyeon.

Present Day 

“Oh, Y/N! Looks like your article just got published in the London Mail this morning!” 

Your co-worker gave you a little pat on the back before he placed the newspapers right onto your desk, and it was clear how your article was published right on the front page with your name written very obviously at the right corner. 

“Please, it was nothing. It’s what I do all the time,” you replied bluntly. 

“What do you mean it was nothing? You just interviewed the rising actor of the month! That’s big news, and you deserve to celebrate it!" 

“Please, it really is nothing—” 

“Hey everyone, our department needs a little night out after work at the local pub! We’re toasting to Y/N’s big break in the news today!” 

Your co-worker shouted out loud, and eventually, cheers erupted in the office, everyone congratulating you and thinking about the potential drinks and songs they would go for once work is over. 

You smiled and chuckled at the sight. You have always loved your job and are grateful to have met such a fantastic group of people in this company. 

It wasn’t your dream to pursue the path of becoming a reporter in the beginning. Sure, you have always had a passion for writing, but you have always considered it your hobby. Thanks to your sister, who was studying abroad in Manchester then, who convinced you to take that leap of faith and turn that hobby into a potential job. 

So here you were, living the best of your life. You followed your sister’s footsteps and went on to live abroad in the UK, enrolling in the University of Manchester, where you successfully graduated with honours the past year. Thankfully, you secured a place in the London Mail right after graduation due to your outstanding grades. 

The move from Manchester to London was a bit tough, but you initially managed to pull through with your sister and her boyfriend's help. They were kind enough to help you settle down and stayed with you for the first couple weeks before returning to Manchester. You miss your sister’s presence, but you know that eventually, you had to venture out on your own and face reality as an adult. 

It has been a year, and you have adapted to living alone. Often, things would get tough, but it was also thanks to you having such a fantastic team of colleagues that you were able to pull through it all, even when there were times you had to work overtime to fulfill all of the datelines that were pilling up nonstop, especially during the holiday seasons. 

It wasn’t until recently that your article was accepted and published on the main cover page of the news, and that was when you finally earned your big break after a year. The company has deemed you to be one of the most talented youngsters they have had over the past decade, and they were more than happy to have had you as their employee. 

Since then, things have settled down for you as you got a pay rise and had fewer hours to give you more time to rest well, mainly when you only survived with four to five hours of sleep daily. Now, you can eat your breakfast correctly and get a good seven to eight hours of sleep before coming every day. 

Just as your co-workers were having the time of their lives trying to figure out the plans for tonight after work, your office desk telephone rang, and you picked it up hastily, thinking that you’d have another big scoop to write about

But it was from the CEO. 

“Miss Y/N, please report to my office immediately.”

You were back home after that fun night out at your local pub with your co-workers, holding a beer in hand as you FaceTime your sister over the phone. 

“Well, it’s a good opportunity for you, don’t you think, Y/N?” 

“I’m not too sure about all of this, sis. Like yeah, it would be great that I would be back home, but still—”

“Hey, I know mom would be ecstatic to have you back in Seoul with her. And it just so happened that you have been telling me how you recently began feeling a little homesick. I’d say it would be great for you to take up the offer.” She reassured. 

It was the moment your mouth fell open wide when you heard that you had been offered to be a senior reporter for one of Seoul’s top magazines at the moment, GQ Korea, where you would be interviewing potentially all of the current well-known celebrities in the country and getting a higher pay as well. 

It seems that they have come across your contributions from the London Mail, and they were keen to have you on their team. Your first thought was grateful as your works were recognised globally, but also because you miss being home. But another part of you has already settled in the UK, so you weren’t sure if leaving now would be the right choice. 

But now that your sister has given you some input, that was when you knew that it wouldn’t hurt to try it out, at the very least. 

With one final sip of your beer, you leaned forward and gave your sister a smile for the first time since calling her this evening. 

“I’m going home now, sis.”

It has been a week since you settled into Seoul, and you have loved being back in your comfort zone: the culture, the food, and the environment you grew up in. 

Your mom was overjoyed as she picked you up from the airport, insisting she would take your luggage, especially when you have flown almost twenty-four hours just to get home. By the time you got home, your mom was already ready and prepared with all the dishes she had premade before your arrival and needed to heat them quickly. 

You quickly took a shower before joining her at the dining table. You both chatted for close to midnight before she told you she would sleep ahead of you. Meanwhile, you decided to clean up your childhood bedroom to make space for everything you brought back from London. 

There was this nostalgia as you entered your room; everything was still the same, exactly how you had left it when you left for the UK years ago. The same old blue painting on the wall, all your posters hung on them, even your favourite comic books that were still arranged nicely on your bookshelf. 

You could tell there wasn’t a speck of dust in the room, indicating that your mom must have cleaned it occasionally. You couldn’t help but sigh, thinking about all the hard work she always puts herself through. 

It took you a while to go through all your belongings, mainly because you were reminiscing as you looked at the pictures, books, and figurines scattered throughout your room.

It wasn’t until you came across a box tucked away at the corners of your room that you pulled them out towards the centre as you opened them up. 

And god, you wished you hadn’t done that. 

All the pictures and items contained memories you had with your past lover, Lee Juyeon. 

You paused momentarily before reaching out to pick up the first item on top of the box: a picture. 

It was taken when you both were in kindergarten. You were holding hands, wearing backpacks and little yellow helmets on your heads. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight; it was nostalgic and cute. 

Right after that, you took out a pair of bracelets right below the picture. It was a friendship bracelet that you both made during middle school. It was summer when you recently discovered the trend of making friendship bracelets, where you went straight to Juyeon’s house across the street, practically dragged him back to your house, and got him to make one with you. You giggled at the thought of how Juyeon was so lost at the time, having to come to you almost every five seconds to tell you that he had either lost a piece or was having trouble threading the beads through the string. 

When you thought it would all be good memories, you stumbled upon the one item you wished you would not have to see again.

The needle-felted cat you made for him on the night before graduation. 

Unbeknownst to you, your hands began to tremble as you took the cat into your hands, staring at it as the memories flashed back: how you would give this to Juyeon and tell him that you were ready to be more than just close friends, up to the point of how he suddenly announced to you that he was leaving for good. 

Slowly, you felt that your tears were beginning to well up in your eyes, and you quickly dumped all of the items back into the box and tucked them back in the corner, using a few items you had in your room, such as cardboard to block it completely out of sight. 

You were not ready to go through all of the roller coasters of emotion once again. 

Especially when deep down in your heart, you still had some feelings left for him. Even if you did not wish to admit it out loud.

You stood outside the tall building as you tried your best to fix up the blazer that your mum insisted you put on for your big day. With your handbag and laptop, you gave yourself a deep breath before mentally preparing yourself that this would be your new workplace from now on. 

You looked to see the vast sign plastered outside the building: GQ Korea. You were definitely at the right place. It took you a few seconds to finally be able to take your very first steps into the building. Once you did, you were amazed at the astonishing art that filled the reception floor. It was a fashion and art magazine; after all, there was no doubt that the company's directors entailed such a choice of decorations to captivate everyone who walked into their building. 

You walked straight towards the counter, where you were greeted by two ladies who were already expecting your arrival. Immediately, they got you signed up in the system, and one guided you to one of the fifth floors, where you would be meeting your new team and department that you would be working with. 

As you were guided into the head of the department’s office, Ms Kim, who has been guiding and overlooking this particular department for the past five years, greeted you and made you feel comfortable instantly, which made all of your tensed-up muscles relax fairly quickly. She communicated well with you and, surprisingly, even shared some of the same ideals as you did. You were beyond grateful to hear when she mentioned that she has kept up with your works from the London Mail, and it was about time that the team needed someone like you. 

Once both of you had taken the time to break the ice, Ms Kim led you to your desk just outside her office, where countless cubicles filled the entire floor. At first glance, you have estimated that there were about fifty employees who worked in this department. It didn’t take them long to greet you personally before you eventually made your way to your desk in the middle of the floor. 

As you unloaded your bag of materials onto the desk and placed them in an organised manner, your hands digging through your bag finally stopped when you felt a familiar material. Instantly, you pulled it out to check what it was, and you were once again left speechless with what it was. 

A picture of you and Juyeon back during your graduation from high school.

The only plausible reason it was in your workbag was because of your mother. You have never once told her that things ended badly between you both, and you have always shrugged off the fact that you were still keeping in touch with the man himself and that you both were still having a healthy friendship. You just didn’t want her to worry much, especially when she knew how much you both have been through, and she practically treated Juyeon like her own son. 

As all loving mothers would do, she woke up hours ahead of you this morning to prepare you a filling bento box. She wrapped it with traditional cloth and placed it neatly into your work bag. At the same time, she probably put the little picture frame into the bag, hoping it would motivate you during work and decorate your new workplace. 

With just a few seconds of staring at it, you looked down to see an empty trash bin that sat right beneath your work desk, and without thinking much, you immediately placed the picture right into it. 

I’m sorry, mom. But I will not be needing it anymore.

Your first week of work flew by quickly as you easily got used to the working lifestyle. Seoul was your home, and it wasn’t hard to adapt back to the culture. In fact, you were grateful that your new group of co-workers could be on par with the ones back in London; they were all as great and supportive in helping you ease into the new environment. Your new co-workers even encouraged you to head out for a little drink at the local izakaya restaurant after work since it has been a long weekend for everyone, and you surely did enjoy the little company you had before heading home a little after midnight. 

In terms of fitting in as GQ Korea's new reporter, it has been a thrilling ride learning about all of the entertainment biz that has been going on in the country. Since your forte was with celebrities, your head of department had assigned you the same, focusing on the rising K-Pop stars in the industry. 

It has been a while since you kept up with Korean celebrities since you mainly focused on Western artists abroad for a couple of years. But as you kept up with the news and made sure to read the newspaper first thing every morning you came right in, you made sure that you have been kept up to date with all of the latest announcements and events that have been going on in the industry. 

Today was a big day for you as Ms Kim had instructed you to head up to the top floor, where you would first meet up with the CEO for the very first time since joining the company as he would like to brief you through the details in regards to the celebrities that will be coming later in the day.

You thought it was probably some hotshot celeb for the CEO to personally guide you through each step regarding what or how you should deal with them. However, you weren’t too mad since you figured they probably did things differently here in Seoul.

As you finally reached the top floor, you were then escorted by whom you assumed to be the CEO’s personal assistant, who was already expecting your arrival as they kindly let your head department know that she was free to leave. The walk down the hallway towards the CEO’s office seemed a little daunting to you for some reason; perhaps it was also because you were meeting someone who is considered to be one of the famous people in the heart of Seoul—there’s a reason why GQ Korea is always on the top-selling markets. 

As the assistant kindly knocked on the door and got a verbal cue from the other side, she took a step behind to let you move forward as you slowly turned the doorknob to enter the room. 

Immediately, you notice how the entire office is decorated extravagantly, filled with tons of high-end decorations that suit the taste of the CEO himself. The wide, clear windows dominated most of the room, offering a panoramic cityscape view. A curated selection of artwork filled the walls, which added a little personal touch to the working space. 

You didn’t realise that your mouth was wide open as you slowly took in the mesmerising view until you turned towards the desk, where the CEO was sitting on his chair with his back facing you, flipping through multiple documents in his hands. 

As you slowly made your way towards him, your little footsteps made the CEO’s ears perk up, causing the man to stand up and finally turn to face you in person for the first time. 

With that, your entire world seemed to pause for a moment. 

What exactly was going on? There was no way this young man could be the CEO, especially when you were certain that he had left Seoul years ago and sworn that his chances of returning to his homeland would be close to zero. Your laptop in hand was slowly beginning to slip off before you were brought back to reality and quickly caught it before it eventually hit the ground. 

That was when you finally muttered your first words since stepping into the CEO’s office. 

“J-Juyeon…?” 

It was pretty evident that the man himself was just as confused and shocked as you were; he practically stood there motionless, trying his best to make sense of the current situation.

“Y-Y/N? What are you doing here?” 

“I should be the one asking you that,” you replied. 

You were about to go haywire just from this interaction alone. It was hard enough for you to move on from what happened seven years ago, and it proved to be a lot harder than you thought when you came back a few weeks ago to see that all of the things that you’ve tried so hard to forget were now back in the comforts of your bedroom. 

Ever since then, you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t want anything to do with Juyeon anymore, and you have decided to shut your heart regarding anything related to the man himself. 

If only it were easier said than done. 

Juyeon finally took his first step away from his desk as he slowly approached you, extending his hand as if he was craving your touch again. You could tell that he was desperate for a little physical contact, perhaps to prove that you really stood in front of him. 

But you couldn’t, and you weren’t ready for any of that, so you backed off instead, giving him a clear signal that you weren’t on the same page as he was. 

There was this evident sadness in his eyes, and he tried his best to hold back his tears as his eyes began to water. 

“Y/N…I—”

“Miss L/N. You can address me that, Mr. Lee,” you bluntly replied before diverting your attention to the ground. 

It was when Juyeon finally got himself together and straightened his posture before clearing his throat. “Very well, Miss L/N. I’ll quickly brief you on the events happening today, with the group of celebrities arriving in a couple of hours soon. Please, have a seat.”

“I hate him, I really do!” You screamed at the top of your lungs as you took the pint of beer in your hands before slamming it down onto the table. Your sister had to restrain you from causing a scene at the bar, trying to settle you down and handing you a glass of water to chug down your system. 

Your sister had just recently came back to Seoul for a little vacation, and you immediately asked that she could keep you accompany down at the local izakaya restaurant that you often visited to let off some steam. 

“Karma is really on your side huh, Y/N,” your sister teased. 

“I-It’s not funny, sissy….” your voice began to slur, indicating that you were starting to get drunk at this point. “Why…of all people, why?! Why did it have to be him? As my boss! In my new workplace!” 

“Look, it can’t be that bad. Who knows, maybe you might get another chance again with him.” 

“That’s not the point, sissy….after what he has done to me? After all that I have done to try my best to move on from the past? This should not be happening to me at all!” Your voice broke as you began tearing up, causing your sister to pull you close into her embrace, slowly caressing your back to help soothe you a little. 

Your sister was well aware of your history with Juyeon, especially when you’ve spent weeks, which eventually that turned into months of crying out to her over the phone since she was already studying abroad then, she knew how much the whole situation wrecked you badly, to the point that it has taken you months to start going out and meeting people outside of university eventually. 

She was there when you were both younger, seeing how you developed a crush on him later and knowing you weren’t just childhood friends and had something way more than that. It was a shame that Juyeon left without telling you, and she would’ve gone to the airport to confront him about it if only she had been back in Seoul then. But deep down, she knew Juyeon as much as you did and knew that suddenly, something probably came up for him to leave the country like that. 

As a matter of fact, your sister had always wished and rooted for you both to become a couple eventually; she had always been a firm believer of childhood friends to lovers anyway, especially when that was how she ended up with her current fiancé. Now that you both have reunited in the most unexpected way, she believes her theory about you both eventually having a second chance was stronger than ever before. 

With that, she lifted her eyebrows as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. “Say, little sis. What exactly are you up to at work tomorrow?” 

You sniffled. “Umm…I guess I have a meeting with Juyeon to discuss the upcoming fashion show that is due to be set in a couple of months. Why do you ask?” 

Your sister gave you a little smirk in return before cradling you like a baby again. “Oh, it was nothing. I’m sure you’ll have a fruitful discussion tomorrow.”

You dreaded coming to work today. The very first reason is that you woke up with a really bad hangover from last night, and you practically don’t remember much that has happened besides chugging down pints of beer from your system. It has been a while since you’ve drank this much, and most importantly, because you were upset over something. Otherwise, you were pretty much sober most of the time and always being the one to drag your co-workers home because they were far worse than you were. 

And, of course, it was also because you hated the idea that you must come face-to-face with your so-called ex-childhood best friend again—this time, in an actual meeting. Well, in some ways, you were glad that it was only a meeting for a potentially massive event that the company had been known to host for years and that Juyeon would probably be able to distinguish between personal and work-life issues. 

But still, you just weren’t ready to face him again, especially with the huge shock you’d received the day before. It was already hard enough for you to stay focused when Juyeon briefed you through your job scope and the meeting you would have for the day, trying your best not to let the tears drip down nor let the anger boil up. 

However, you had no choice since you must also stay professional at your work. You just got back to Korea, and there was no way you would chicken out and move everything back to the UK again. Well, potentially, you could, but it wouldn’t be an ethical move to make. 

So here you are, hugging your documents and laptop towards your chest, standing outside the meeting room. You had to take a few deep breaths before you could muster up the courage to turn the doorknob and enter the room. 

Once you did, you noticed how the entire room was filled up, with most of your co-workers in their designated seats, sorting through the documents they would use for the meeting. You immediately diverted your attention towards the front where Juyeon was seated, and you hated how you had actually spent a good minute admiring his features. 

He wore a simple beige coat over a white tee, paired with a pair of black slim pants with leather shoes. His black hair was styled all the way back, leaving a little strand of hair down on his forehead. He was busy flipping through his documents while setting up his laptop to project the PowerPoint slides for everyone to see. 

You just hated how extremely good-looking he was right now and that there was a high chance that you wouldn’t concentrate on your work throughout the next hour. 

And how you would actually want to run into his embrace and give him a little peck on the lips—

Wait, what? 

As Juyeon finally lifted his head from the monitor and looked at everyone else in the room, it was a sign that the meeting was about to commence, and you quickly took the still available seat, the front seat. 

Throughout the presentation, you tried your best to take in everything that Juyeon- well, your CEO, was trying to convey to his employees. It turns out that this upcoming fashion show would be one of the most crucial ones the company has ever done for years, especially now that all the big brands are willing to collaborate with GQ Korea and put out the best fashion show in the country. 

It was quite a breathtaking look to see how Juyeon was passionate about his job, talking and explaining each detail to his employees carefully while making it enjoyable for everyone to learn or be part of. With that, you have noticed how every single employee in the room was constantly taking down details as quickly as lightning, making sure not to miss out on any small detail. There were moments when some would raise their hands to ask further questions, and Juyeon was more than happy to answer them, making the whole meeting seem less stressful but instead quite engaging in return. 

There were times when you found yourself staring at him more than you should’ve, and every time he diverted his attention towards you, you would quickly duck your head down to look back at your laptop as if you were busy typing away on your notes. 

Time seemed to have passed quickly as Juyeon finally wrapped up the meeting and let everyone off. In fact, the meeting ended right at the dot, and it was just past noon, meaning it was lunchtime for all employees. Everyone was quick to dash through the door, their stomach grumbling after using up all of the energy for the meeting. For you, you decided to pack up your belongings at your own pace, knowing that you would be spending your lunch back at your cubicle with the little bento box your mother had packed for you this morning. 

As you are about to head straight for the door, the familiar voice stops you in your tracks, making you turn your head back to face the man himself. 

“Miss L/N, I would like to have a word with you.” 

Oh, god. It’s here. 

Mentally, you were cursing out all the vulgar words you knew at the back of your mind as you slowly approached your CEO, trying your best not to let out the croak in your voice. 

“Y-Yes, may I help you, Mr Lee?” 

“There is a place that I have to pay a short visit, and I would like you to keep me company.”

Whenever an employer or the CEO would address their employees to keep them company as they pay a visit to a certain location, it usually meant that it was to meet up with a client or to survey certain products or places that could significantly be crucial for the company’s success. 

But here you were, sitting in one of the fancy cafes that wasn’t far from the office, having lunch with your CEO, who was sitting in front of you. 

Juyeon said nothing along the way as he brought you to the cafe, insisting that you sit down and order from the menu with no questions asked. As awkward as it was, you were about to deny his request before he looked straight down towards the menu, not even glancing at you. 

You figured this was probably part of the job, and there was no way you would deny your CEO’s request right here and then, especially when it was working hours and everything was strictly business. 

Once both of you have made your orders to the waitress that just passed by a minute ago, you diverted your attention towards the tablecloth, not wanting to look straight at Juyeon. However, his deep voice caught your attention, and you lifted your head back up after hearing the words you had wanted to say for the past seven years. 

“I think it’s about time I told you the truth, Y/N.” 

Oh, he called you by your name. 

As you focus your attention right on him, you can see the sadness in his eyes once more, just like how it was back when you first encountered him in his office the day before. 

“Umm…with due respect Mr Lee—”

“Juyeon is fine. We’re outside of work, Y/N. I would appreciate it if you could talk to me like we used to, and I will do the same,” he responded, slowly resting his arms on the tablecloth as if he were leaning slightly closer to you. 

With that you took a significantly big gulp, knowing that the day you longed for was finally here. You were about to get the answers you desperately needed to know, but at the same time, you weren’t so sure if you wanted to know the truth right now, especially with all of the things that you have gone through trying your best to take him out of your life completely. 

“Will you please give me a chance to listen to what I have to say?” He pleaded, looking at you with a desperate look in his eyes. 

Your gut and mind were trying to tell you that you have done your best to completely eliminate him in your life for the past seven years. Would you give up easily and open your enclosed heart just like that? After all of the hard work that you have done? 

Say no, Y/N. You have gotten over the guy. It’s all over between you two—

“Yeah. Go on.” 

Goddammit, Y/N. 

Immediately, his eyes lit up upon your words, and his shoulders slumped down a little, indicating that he has relaxed a bit. 

“Oh, thank god, Y/N. I guess you were still the same old Y/N that I remembered—”

“You said we’re not employers and employees now, so I’d say cut to the chase with what you have to say while you can, Juyeon,” you bluntly replied as you crossed your arms around you. 

In return, Juyeon gave you a little weak smile and a sigh before he eventually diverted his full attention to you. 

“Remember when we got separated back in high school? During our graduation day, you—”

“You left me behind, Juyeon.” 

“I didn’t have a choice back then, Y/N. But now I’m here to tell you everything. You have no idea how our stomach dropped when my father came home and told us that his company was about to go bankrupt, and we were on the verge of losing everything.” 

So that was what happened.

“And how it was also the day my mother found out that she had cancer and her chances of recovery were lower than expected.” 

“J-Juyeon…w-why didn’t you tell me all of this?” 

“I wanted to. I really wanted to so badly, Y/N. Because you’re my best friend, and you deserve to know everything. But I just didn’t know how to, and I was afraid of what might happen, and I don’t want to put the pressure on you.” 

“W-Where are they now, then?” 

Juyeon had to take in a big breath before choosing his following words wisely, knowing it must’ve been hard to even talk about it publicly. “Mom became bedridden, and she’s still receiving treatment in one of the hospitals back in the States. Dad is currently running a small little shop near the hospital along with my little brother.” 

“Then, why did you come back here?” 

“I came back because starting a proper company there was tough. I figured there might be a slight chance things could work out here in Seoul. With the remaining funds we had, I eventually begged my dad to give his final trust in me as I found a way to make things work out. Luckily, we had some acquaintances back here, and they helped me get into one of the prestigious universities and eventually landed me a job here at GQ Korea. I started as a normal employee before I eventually became their CEO a year prior.” 

It was then you noticed a single teardrop on the verge of dripping down his face from the corners of his eyes. Naturally and unbeknownst to you, your hand reached for the tissues placed neatly on the table, and you leaned in to wipe away that single teardrop. 

Only then did you both realise what you were doing, and that was when your eyes widened, and you were about to prop down back to your seat.

That was until Juyeon grabbed your wrist, not wanting to let you go. 

“This teardrop is nothing, Y/N. I’m so sorry you have to see this side of me. It’s not very cool, I guess,” he chuckled, trying his best to lighten up the mood a bit. 

As soon as he says those words, your other free hand eventually finds itself on Juyeon’s shoulders, causing the male’s eyes to widen this time before you finally speak out the words that you have always wanted to tell straight to his face all those years ago. 

“Juyeon, you need to start learning to put yourself before others. And I really mean it.” 

“Y/N, I—”

“No buts. Even after all these years, you’re still the same as before, always prioritising others before your own. As much as you are the most kind-hearted soul I’ve ever seen, you need to start loving and giving yourself some credit,” you replied, adding a little pressure onto your grip on his shoulders. 

With that, none of you said a word for a good couple of seconds, and you both just spent the entire time staring into each other's eyes as if you were conveying your messages non-verbally. That was until Juyeon finally decided to break the tension off by smiling at you, a genuine one you had consistently grown to love back then. 

“So, am I back in your good graces now, princess?” 

You were finally brought back to your senses, and you quickly removed both hands from him and sat down swiftly back on your chair, ducking your head down while giving a slight pout. 

Juyeon missed this sight of you and was absolutely admiring the whole situation that unfolded before him. Just then, both of your meals arrived, and the same waitress from before gently placed each of your respective ones in front of you. Juyeon then gently placed the cutlery in front of you. 

“Dig in,” he mentioned before whipping out the napkin and placing it right on his lap, before going in with his cutlery to cut through his steak. 

In return, you swiftly picked up yours and roughly cut through your freshly cooked breaded cod fish. 

“No one calls a normal friend princess, Lee freaking Juyeon,” you mumbled.

Just when you thought that would be the only time you would actually spend some time alone with Juyeon, it turns out the male had perceived that you both were back just the way you were when you were kids. 

Since that day, Juyeon would actually make his way out to invite you often to join lunch with him at the same cafe, usually ordering a different dish from the wide selection of food on the menu. What Juyeon loved the most about the place was the ambience and good coffee, and he would always be seen ordering a big jumbo-sized cup of iced latte to bring back to his office to help get through the rest of the day. 

You, on the other hand, were often stuck with more or less the same few dishes that you’ve tried, and you, too, would order your usual iced americano back to the office once you both were done with the meal. 

At first, you have always tried your best to avoid having contact with him; that first lunch date was just a typical day, as you would try to convince yourself. But whenever Juyeon gets a little break out from the office, he would either send you a personal email or sometimes ask his personal assistant to come down to your department to inform you to wait for the man down at the lobby at noon. 

You obviously could do your very best to come up with excuses to let him know that you’re busy with something or you already have plans to eat with your co-workers, but it seemed that the heart does what it wants, and it does not align with the signals that your brain is trying to tell you; which is to avoid and cut off this whole friendship for good. 

So you were back to being the giddy seventeen-year-old little girl who often felt excited whenever you spent time with your childhood friend. Hence, every time you were taking the very last escalator down to the lobby, you would often use that little time to admire the way Juyeon would always lean against one of the pillars while swiping through his phone with one hand and keeping the other one inside the pocket of his coat. 

But you did not want to admit it just yet, so you would constantly remind yourself that he’s only back for a while; it wouldn’t be so easy to open up your ice-cold heart again. 

That was until today. 

Just a few days prior, Juyeon had given you a ticket to visit this huge Christmas market in the town centre. At first, you stared at the paper blankly, thinking it was all a joke and he couldn’t have gone with you. But the male made it clear that he invited you to come along, which would be the two of you together. 

Your heart was bouncing so fast that you were afraid it would eventually pop out of your chest as you slowly approached where you both were supposed to meet. You figured it best that you arrived twenty minutes earlier to compose yourself and try to understand your situation. 

As you paced back and forth for god knows how long, you finally heard your name being called out from the far distance, and you perked your head up to see that Juyeon was waving his hands and running towards you like he used to back when he was a kid. 

Once he finally stopped right in front of you, he began panting heavily to the point you were genuinely worried if this man was actually alright. 

“Woah, what the hell happened to you? You seemed like you were escaping from a monster or something,” you joked. 

“N-No…I went to get this for you…” Juyeon then hands you a brown paper bag, and you accept it while being all confused. 

“Open it, Y/N. Have a look at what’s inside,” he insisted before resting both hands on his hips. 

While giving Juyeon a weird look, you finally peeped into the bag and extended your arm into the brown bag before you finally felt something soft against your palms and eventually pulled whatever it was out. 

Your eyes widened when you saw what it was. 

“J-Juyeon…this…”

“Remember way back in high school; we promised each other that we would want to visit the Christmas markets, and how badly did you want this soft alpaca plushie that was way too expensive for neither of us to get our hands on? Yeah, I actually got it before the store closed like minutes ago.” 

He remembered. 

You have always been vocal about wanting this plushie for years, and there was no way your parents were buying it for you, claiming that it was way too expensive (which it was since it was part of a collaboration with one of the high-end fashion companies) and that you wouldn’t have a proper use for it. Back then, Juyeon couldn’t do anything but reassure you that one day, your wish would definitely come true while always giving you pinky promises. 

And now, you were finally receiving your biggest Christmas wishlist item as an adult, and you couldn’t be much happier. 

You laughed. “Juyeon, you do realise that I’m not a child anymore, right?” 

“Who says plushies are only meant for young children? Why can’t adults have their collection? I’ll tell you I have a Build-A-Bear in my bedroom.” 

“You must be joking.” 

“Mark my words, Y/N.” 

Eventually, you both started laughing out loud before you hugged the plushie close to you, activating the heating function in the toy to keep yourself warm; that was the main purpose that made you want to purchase this product long ago. 

“Thank you, Juyeon.” 

“Well, instead of thanking me, why don’t you keep me company for the night as we explore this Christmas market together?” 

You smiled. “With pleasure.”

“Oh, Juyeon~ Have I ever told you how much I’ve admired your good looks? I’d like to think that your family genes are something else.”

After an hour or two of walking through the entire Christmas market and having too much fun going to each stall and trying out the different activities and food, you eventually stumbled upon one located towards the furthest end and sold various eggnog drinks. You have never tried this particular alcoholic beverage before; you were mostly used to the beers that you often get back in the pubs in London. However, Juyeon insisted that you give it a go especially for the Christmas season, and he eventually bought both of you a mug. 

The initial taste seemed a bit off to you, but once the alcohol started kicking in, you eventually began to chug the whole liquid down as if it were nobody’s business. After some time, one mug of eggnog began turning into two, and then three, and finally, you were pretty sure that you were on your fifth mug by now. 

That was when Juyeon realised that he should’ve stopped you by your second or third mug because now you were barely walking properly without his aid, and your speech began to slur as he linked your arms over his shoulders, trying his best to support you while walking you back home. 

You both had to take the subway trains to head back to your apartment and during the entire time, you were clingy with your childhood friend, often wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze while mumbling incoherent words. You caught the attention of all passengers and passersby, but Juyeon could only smile at how you looked right now. 

He had never seen you drunk before, and this was a whole new experience for him. But he wasn’t too mad that you reminded him so much of your younger self; it was as if he was witnessing the seven-year-old you again in the present day. 

After walking from the subway and, eventually, towards your front door to your apartment, Juyeon was about to take you up towards the elevator until you stopped him in his tracks.

“No Juyeon~ why are you leaving me so early? We still have so much more to see in the market!” 

He smiled. “Y/N, I think it’s time for you to head home to get some rest.” 

“But I don’t wanna~” 

With that, Juyeon grabbed hold of both your shoulders as he bent down to be on the same eye level as you, trying his best to talk to you in your drunken stage. 

“Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, hmm? We’ve had loads of fun today, and besides, your mom and sister would be worried sick about you at this late hour.” 

Immediately, you lifted your pinky at him, which caused the male to stare at you blankly. “Pinky promise that I get to see you tomorrow, Juyeon-ie?” 

Oh, how insanely adorable you were to Juyeon right now. 

He chuckled before linking his pinky with yours, shaking it left and right slightly as if to seal the agreement. “I promise, we’ll see each other in the office first thing tomorrow morning.”

With the final pinky shake, Juyeon guided you towards the elevator and pressed the button. As you both waited for the elevator to come down to the ground floor, you suddenly broke off the silence, and Juyeon had to blink twice to know he wasn’t hearing things wrong. 

“I’ve always liked you Juyeon…even after all these years…I never stopped loving you…” you sobbed. 

Your nose was now sniffling, and you closed your eyes to let the tears drip down, not caring what Juyeon would think about all this. You were done trying to hold it back for so long, and you needed to let the burden that you’ve held onto for years finally let loose, and well, you were drunk at this point, so you couldn’t really control the words that slipped out from your mouth. 

“Why did you leave me just like that…did you know how much pain it has caused…and how hard I’ve tried to forget every single thing about you? I even threw away all of the pictures and toys we’d had together because the flashbacks of memories would often play in my mind upon seeing them,” you were now crying, and you began to raise your voice a little. 

“Why, Juyeon, WHY!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, and immediately you burst out crying, plopping straight down onto the concrete floor. You hated how the alcohol wasn’t making you think straight and that you were feeling a roller coaster of emotions right now. 

Just let it out, Y/N. You’ve suffered long enough—

Immediately, a warm pair of arms wrapped around you, and a hand gently pushed your head down to let you rest on the crook of their neck. You finally glanced up to see that it was Juyeon, holding you tight and resting his chin on the top of your head. 

As much as you want to push yourself away from him, you can’t. You couldn’t explain why, and you have even made a pact to yourself that you wouldn’t want anything associated with him anymore. 

But why did the saying the heart wants what it wants have to be so accurate? 

You hated it, hated how you have always let your emotions take full control over your mind, not making you think straight, and often going against your plans. In fact, your heart ached so badly, and it was the same feeling that you felt seven years ago, right when Juyeon left you alone as he hopped onto his vehicle. 

The only thing you could do right now was to let the stream of tears pour down and cry out to your heart’s content. You felt weak, and you could do nothing to push him away. 

Juyeon couldn’t blame you, though, because how could he? Especially when he was the one who said nothing all those years ago. Now, he was seeing with his own eyes how much pain and trouble it has cost you, turning you into a vulnerable little petite girl who was crying her heart out in his arms. 

With that, he moved his lips down to plant a little kiss on your head and eventually closed his eyes as your cries filled up his eyedrums. 

“I’ll make it work, Y/N. I promise you that I’ll make things work this time.”

“Oh, good fucking hell.” 

You were sitting on your work desk, bringing your hands to cover up your face. It was an absolute nightmare to hear from your sister about what happened the night before—how you got drunk and caused a little scene in public, which made everyone turn their attention towards you, how Juyeon was the one who brought you all the way back home, how you had a breakdown in front of him to the point you eventually fell asleep after crying your eyes out to the point he had to physically gave you a piggyback up to your front door and assisted your sister to plop you down on your bed. 

If there was a nearby cliff near your workplace, you would do anything to ditch work and actually head straight up there to jump off from the embarrassment. 

You were already not having a good time reuniting with Juyeon, let alone trying to sort your emotions out while seeing him at work every day and that he was your boss. But to confess your deepest thoughts while being vulnerable and drunk in front of him? That was not written anywhere in your books. 

As you were spending your entire lunch break groaning over what happened last night, you immediately received a call from your desk telephone, and you quickly composed yourself before picking the phone up. 

“Y-Yes, hello? This is L/N from the editorial department; how may I assist you for the day?”

“Good afternoon, Miss L/N. Please report to the CEO’s office immediately whenever you can.” 

Oh, Jesus take the wheel. 

The entire walk up to the CEO’s office was nerve-wracking; it was as if you were being sent to detention at the principal’s office because you messed up really badly. So many thoughts ran through your mind, thinking about how to apologise to Juyeon for the scene you had caused the day prior.

Once you walked into his office, you tried your best to devise the best phrase to start the conversation, but it seemed that Juyeon beat you to it, immediately handing you a red ginseng hangover drink. 

You reluctantly accepted it while mumbling a soft ‘thank you’ before he insisted that you drink it immediately before him. Once you were done, he took the bottle away and tossed it straight into the bin, directly briefing you about the upcoming fashion show, now only a month away. 

Now that it was back to business and you were no longer childhood friends, you tried your best to keep your composure as you listened to all of the details he was going through one by one with you. 

Eventually, he decided to bring you along to meet up with one of the CEOs of the high-end brands on a trip to Seoul to discuss the plan in person further. Apparently, you have met with the CEO of Fendi, and it’s one of the brands that have been associated with GQ Korea for decades now. Somehow, Juyeon has gotten pretty close with the famous man himself over the years.

All of you met up in the famous Four Seasons Hotel for a pretty luxurious high-tea session while discussing the whole fashion show. It was mostly just Juyeon conversing with the CEO himself; you were mainly there to take down all the essential notes that both parties spoke.

Usually, it would have been his personal assistant job, but he insisted that you come along this time, saying it was part of your training. To be completely honest, you weren’t sure if Juyeon was the one mixing up between work and personal life issues at this point. All you wanted to do was to pray that this meeting gets over and done with quickly so that you could head back towards the comforts of your cubicle in the office and not face Juyeon for a while.

After an hour or so, it seemed as if the meeting was wrapped, and both parties finally parted ways for now, causing you to head straight back to Juyeon’s vehicle. Many people would think most CEOs would have their chauffeur, but Juyeon insisted that he always preferred to drive alone. 

He was still the chatterbox that you have always remembered back in the day, how we would often come up with any possible topic that would keep you entertained; you both could talk for days back then only if both of your families didn’t stop you from heading back home for meal time. 

There was only one problem this time: you were still troubled by what had happened the day before, and it was hard enough to even join Juyeon for this meeting with the CEO of Fendi in the first place. Now that both of you were alone in the car, things were far more awkward than they already were. Juyeon never touched on the topic from last night, but still, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him in the face. 

Just when you thought Juyeon was about to take the left turn to head back towards the office, he took the other lane instead and drove towards the opposite direction.

“Juyeon, the office is the other way—”

“Let’s go somewhere, Y/N. Treat this as a little gift of stepping out of office hours for a bit. You’ll still get paid, though; don’t worry. I’ll make sure to inform your head department about your absence.” 

What on earth is going through your mind, Juyeon?

It has been a few minutes since you have physically pressed yourself against the tank, slowly admiring various species swimming about minding their own business. 

Apparently, you both have arrived at the COEX Aquarium, known for homing a large variety of rare species of aquatic animals and typically the best place for school trips, holidays, and even as a date.

Wait, scratch that last one—

“Didn’t you always say how coming here has been on your bucket list for the longest time?” Juyeon questioned you as he slowly walked up towards where you were from behind, slipping both of his hands into his cloak as he, too, began admiring the beauty in front of him. 

That was when you finally diverted your attention to his face for the first time since hopping into his car this morning to head to the hotel. You were upset at yourself with how the feelings were the same as before: his pretty sculpted facial features, how good-looking he actually was, and how he could do the bare minimum, yet you would still swoon over the man himself. 

With all that has happened lately, something told you this was more than friend behaviour. Sure, Juyeon might be trying his best to patch up this whole relationship you once had, taking you to places and recreating new memories with one another, but you weren’t sure if Juyeon felt the same way as you did. 

That deep feeling within the pit of your stomach made you feel uncomfortable, and it was about time you finally confronted him about the one question that had pondered at the back of your mind for the longest time. 

If both of you wanted to continue whatever was happening between you, you needed to get the specific answer first. 

And it has to be now. 

“Juyeon, can I ask you something?” 

He hummed. “Yeah, go ahead.” 

With that, you turned your entire body facing him and took a deep breath to figure out the right words to convey your feelings for the man himself. “I meant what I said the night before.” 

That alone was enough to get his full attention, as he was now slowly turning himself fully towards you as if he was staring straight into your soul. You wanted to chicken out so badly and tell him it was nothing, and you both could just continue with the silence. But you have already come so far, and you know that this will only continue to haunt you for as long as you live if you aren’t going to address it now. 

So you mustered up every bit of courage left within you, and opened your mouth again. 

“I never stopped loving you, Juyeon. Even though we have lost contact for so many years, I never once stop thinking about you every single day. As much as I’ve tried so hard to forget about you, hell, I threw everything that reminded me of you into the dumpster or boxes and kept them deep somewhere where I wouldn’t even think about searching for it ever again, but to no avail.” 

Your body began to tremble as you tried to calm yourself down by playing with your fingers. “I couldn’t, Juyeon. Every time I thought I have succeeded in getting rid of you from my life for good, the thought of you just somehow finds its way to creep back up in my mind.” 

“I have no idea if karma sent me back here to Seoul, especially when my career was doing well in London. Imagine coming back and discovering that my new employer is someone I’ve tried so hard to forget about? The mixed emotions I felt then were insufferable.” 

As you began to speak more, tears started welling up in your eyes, causing your heartbeat to rise rapidly. But you decided to press on and choke back on your tears. 

“With all that you have done for me for the past weeks and months, I truly have no idea what on earth you are trying to prove to me, Lee Juyeon. Are you trying to fix our broken friendship? Or is it something more? What exactly are you even planning to do, Juyeon?” 

Finally, you took a few steps closer until you were inches away from him. 

“Be honest with me now, Juyeon. What exactly am I to you?” 

There was this tense moment between you two, and neither of you said a word to one another. You were looking straight at your childhood friend with red, puffy eyes, and his eyes were widened, looking at you and trying his best to take in everything you’d said. 

Something tells you that it was best not to hear about Juyeon’s opinions at all for the fear of rejection once more. If you had the power to dissect his mind to determine his thoughts and feelings about all of this, you would. Yet, you were still afraid of what might happen next. 

As you wait for his response, you slowly examine how his shoulders began to slump, and eventually he tries his best to talk some sense into you. 

“Y/N, I—”

“Ah! It’s Juyeon-ie!” 

The both of you immediately darted your head towards where the voice was coming from, and that was when you noticed a female running towards Juyeon while waving her hands, and a rather old man accompanied her. 

Who could it be? 

“Saeran? And Uncle Lee? What are you two doing here?” Juyeon questioned as the two individuals made their way towards you. It was also then they both noticed your presence and the soft-spoken young lady was the one who broke the ice. 

“You must be?” 

“O-Oh, I umm—”

“She’s Y/N; she used to be my neighbour back in the days when I was still living in Seoul.” 

Just a neighbour, huh? 

“Ah, Y/N!” The young female extended her hand for a little handshake, in which you awkwardly return the favour. “It’s a pleasure to meet you in person finally! Juyeon has spoken a lot about you.” 

Before you could even give a reply, it seemed that the older man whom you now know was his uncle, or rather, perceived that he was the one who managed to help Juyeon get a new start in life back here in Seoul, finally spoke and diverted Juyeon’s attention back to what they were here for in the first place. 

“We had made a little appointment this afternoon, don’t you remember, Juyeon?”

“Oh, yes! I’m so sorry. It must’ve completely slipped my mind since I have been pretty caught up with work lately,” Juyeon apologised while slightly bowing towards his uncle. 

“Not at all, Juyeon. I’m sure you must’ve been pretty busy with-” his uncle then diverts his attention towards you. “-a lot of things.” 

You definitely felt way too uncomfortable at the moment, and you needed to get out of the aquarium right this second if you did not wish to be suffocated by all of the tension in the air. 

Immediately, you gently removed your hands from the young female and quickly made a ninety-degree bow towards all of them.

“My humble apologies, it seems that I have disrupted an important meeting. I shall take my leave now.” 

As soon as you turned your heel towards the other direction, you suddenly felt a pair of hands grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. 

“Y/N! Wait, I’ll drive you back—”

“No, it’s fine,” you tried your best to smile at him. “I’ll just take the train located right outside the aquarium. Have a good day.” 

You instantly slip your hands off his grip and dash straight towards the front door, trying your best not to look back and ignore the tears dripping down your face as you walk down the steps towards the subway.

It was now week two of cutting off all contact with Juyeon. It hadn’t been easy for you both at work and personally. In fact, you haven’t been doing great at all. It was as if you had turned into a living zombie, often feeling rather emotionless and drowning yourself in paperwork and avoiding contact with another except for your head of department. 

Since Juyeon was still your employer and CEO, he has definitely tried all means of contacting you, asking to see if you were doing okay or trying to get you up to his office to talk about the fashion show, or rather, to talk things out. But every single time, you would find ways to decline his request as best as possible while respecting him as your boss first and foremost. 

After a week of declining his invitations, his messages and calls eventually stopped coming a week ago; it was as if he had completely vanished for a little while. From what you have heard, it seemed that he had some urgent matters that he had to deal with, causing him to leave the office into the hands of his assistant for now.

It was finally a little breather for you since you didn’t have to put on this facade for the time being, letting you let loose for a bit. Going through sleepless nights throughout the past couple of weeks definitely has taken a toll on your mental well-being. 

You told yourself you needed to hold it all in for another week. Once this whole fashion show is done, you will get your well-deserved vacation off work for one week. 

It’ll be alright. Things will definitely work out in one way or another, Y/N.

It was finally the day for the long-awaited fashion show hosted by GQ Korea and the collaboration among famous brands around the globe. A swarm of people marched into the rented convention hall, filling the entire space within minutes.

You and your co-workers were busy getting everything organised and ensuring everything was in place. Since you were in the editorial department, you have been going about talking to all of the big figureheads from each respective brand, mostly just breaking the ice as well as interviewing them so that you have your necessary notes to draft out the proposal for the upcoming magazine. 

Time passed quickly and it was time for the show to begin. As you sat down on one of the chairs, you made your way towards the far end corners of the hall, getting ready your notepad and trusty blue ballpoint pen. 

As the light began to dim, Juyeon eventually made his way up on stage with a microphone, giving the guests a warm welcome and a little opening speech before the models began their runway walk. Seeing the man himself again was a bittersweet moment for you. As much as you wanted nothing more associated with him, your eyes just couldn’t seem to turn away from him.

It did not help that he was dressed up in a black tuxedo, with his hair styled up with his usual one strand on his forehead. He looked strikingly handsome, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to woo almost everyone in the audience tonight. The way he presented himself was truly magnificent, and you could see why he was able to rise to the ranks of being a CEO at such a young age. 

Tears began welling up in your eyes again, but you tried your very best to hold them back and mentally cursed at yourself, thinking that this was all professional work now and that there was no room for any personal matters for the night. 

Once he made his desired speech, he eventually came down from the stage and sat at one of the front row seats, and that was where you could clearly see that the very same girl from the aquarium sat right next to him, along with his uncle and personal assistant. It shouldn’t bother you since they are practically family to him. It was none of your business, so why couldn’t you take your eyes off them?

Or rather, with him and the young lady who was clearly having fun whispering into each other’s ears. 

It has nothing to do with me. 

You constantly reminded yourself that whenever you tried to spare a glance at them, all while you were taking down notes from the show. It was definitely a challenge trying to stay focused, and there were a couple of times when you needed to close your eyes for a bit and take a few deep breaths to proceed with your work. 

The show finished smoothly, and the audience responded with a standing ovation. You definitely felt a sense of accomplishment from that, too, given that all of your hard work over the past months had finally paid off. 

The event wouldn’t have been complete without an after-party, so here you were in the hall next door—with all of the guests, models, and even staff alike having loads of fun chatting about with a glass of champagne in hand. Eventually, the DJ that was hired began to blast out a wide selection of music, indicating that whoever felt comfortable hitting up the dance floor was able to do so. 

You smiled as you saw a couple of your close co-workers pull up some moves on the dance floor; it reminded you of loads of your time back in the UK—going to the local pubs and just having the time of your life drinking and partying with your friends. 

Just as you were lost in thought, you suddenly felt a little tap on your shoulder, and you turned around to see that Juyeon’s assistant insisted that someone wanted to see you in person. 

You didn’t think much of it since you already had a little bit of alcohol in your system, so when you finally realised who was the one who wanted to see you, panic began to rush through your veins, and you tried your best to make sense of the situation. 

“Mr Lee? Is something the matter?”

You did not need to see the older male again, especially when he gave you a not-so-good first impression back at the aquarium. However, you had no reason to devise an excuse to leave; he was much superior to you anyway. 

“Why, good evening, Miss L/N. I hope you are enjoying the party so far, and congratulations on the job well done. I must say Juyeon always excels in his work, no matter what obstacles he encounters along the way.” 

The only thing you could do was flash a little smile back at him, as much as it made you uncomfortable. In the back of your mind, you have dozens of questions running through your mind, thinking about in what manner his uncle has any business with you. 

Eventually, he began speaking as if he was chanting through a book, giving you a whole load of information that was a little bit too much to take in at the moment. 

“It seems that Seoul life has been too tedious for you, don’t you think? Have you ever wondered about transferring back to London? Perhaps it would be a much better place for you to reside in.” 

“Umm, with all due respect, sir, how did you know about my background—”

“Oh, I have always kept an eye on you; you were Juyeon’s childhood friend, after all.” 

Keyword. “Were” 

“With that being said, I have read a couple of your articles before from the London Mail, and I must say, they are actually quite extraordinary.” 

“W-Why, t-thank you, Mr Lee. I really do appreciate them—”

“Speaking of transferring, the CEO for Fendi has actually taken quite a liking to you and your work. Even throughout the whole fashion show back there, he has been talking on and on about you, saying how you would prove to be a fruitful addition to his company.”

Just like that, Mr Lee began to step forward to hand you a little sticky note, which clearly had a number written on it. 

“If you ever change your mind, give me a call. Besides, I’m sure you already know the answer deep within your heart. I will be waiting,” Mr Lee responded with a smug before entering back into the hall. 

You stared back down at the note and eventually began thinking about what his uncle said prior. Suddenly, you started feeling conflicted, thinking this was the right place to belong. But it could also be his way of trying to brainwash you; you’re pretty sure you felt like a menace in his eyes. 

You decided you needed some fresh air to clear your thoughts for a bit, so you headed out towards the balcony right up the stairs. You figured that an open-air rooftop seemed perfect for some alone time. 

If only you were the only one who was planning to use the same exact spot that is.

Right when you reached the door that was ajar on the rooftop, you immediately recognised the two people standing before you, the female leaning in to give your childhood friend a peck on the lips.

You stand there motionless, and immediately, your blood starts to boil, something you haven’t felt in a while. The glass of champagne then drops towards the ground, and the shattered noises make the two turn their attention towards you. 

It all felt like a sudden pause like time had stopped for a few moments. The both of you were staring deep into each other’s eyes, not knowing what to do or how to respond. But then, Juyeon eventually spoke to break the silence. 

Before you could ever hear what he had to say, you were already dashing down the stairs, not caring that you had missed a couple of steps and that there were a few instances where you felt like you were about to trip and fall straight down back where you came from. 

Not even wanting to let your co-workers know about anything, you quickly dashed through the front gates, running through the now gloomy skies that were bound to have a heavy downpour within a few minutes. 

You should’ve remembered that Juyeon was the basketball team leader back in high school for a reason; no matter how fast you ran through the streets, he eventually caught you and yanked you back towards him, causing you to press up against his chest. 

“Let me go! Let me go—”

“Y/N! Please! Let us just talk things out.” 

You used up all of your strength and pushed him away as hard as you could before you began raising your voice back at him. “Talk? Don’t be ridiculous. You have done more than enough, and I have seen enough.” 

“Y/N, no. You don’t understand—”

“What else do I have to understand!?!? You have done more than enough to shatter me over and over again, Juyeon! And to think I was dumb enough actually to think we could work things out again!” You screamed. 

“Y/N…please…just calm down and listen to what I have to say…” Juyeon was now practically begging you, begging you just to stop. 

“You clearly don’t understand the pain that I’ve gone through, Juyeon. You weren’t there to witness or experience it anyway! Why did we even become friends in the first place, huh!?!?” 

God, cat’s out of the bag. 

That last sentence was definitely not meant to be said at all; it was one of your deepest, darkest thoughts that you have sworn that nobody should ever find out about, especially when it is directed towards the person who stood before you.

“I hate you, Juyeon…I really do…for all of the pain that you have caused me…” you were now sobbing like a child, which pained Juyeon so much seeing how you were now. 

With that, a loud thunder resonated throughout the city, and a heavy downpour began pouring down from the skies. The both of you were now soaked, and you mustered up the courage to say your final words to him as the tears began mixing with the rain. 

“Please…I beg of you…just stop looking for me…or even talk to me at all…just leave me alone…that’s the last thing I will ask of you…” 

“I don’t want anything to do with you no more.” 

You slowly began backing away, and when you reached a good amount of distance, you turned your heel and began running away into the shadows, not sparing a final glance at your childhood friend who stood at the same spot under the pouring rain. 

This is my final goodbye, Juyeon.

If you thought the whole week of you being a walking zombie in the office was terrible enough, clearly, nobody was prepared for the current state that you were in. You locked yourself up in your room and refused to see anybody, even your mother and sister. 

You would constantly lay in bed, tossing and turning, even though it was hard to fall asleep. Since you avoided contact with your family members, there was nothing much they could do but place a tray filled with your meals and dishes in front of your door, waiting for you to eventually open up during times when you actually felt hungry and took them into your room to savour them all on your own. 

You didn’t need anyone or anything now; you craved alone time and peace. 

As you curl up in bed, sometimes even at the corners of your room, your eyes would often dart towards the sticky note handed to you by his uncle. So many times you have thought about it: what if life would’ve been better abroad and coming back to Seoul was truly a grave mistake that you have made? What if this whole decision was actually an awakening moment for you to realise that this is not where you should belong? 

Days went back and eventually, it became a week. There were only a few days left before you returned to the office for work. The longer you kept staring at the note, the more motivated you were to take the risk and start again. 

Every time you were reminded of what happened that very fateful night, you rationalised that maybe what Mr Lee said was true after all. Perhaps Seoul is really not your place to belong. 

As the clock ticked, your desire to leave everything behind felt stronger. 

You waited until the clock finally struck noon for you to finally stand up with your phone in hand, punching each number into the dial pad and bringing it to your ear. 

Once the ringing eventually got through and you were met with a voice on the other end of the line, you took a deep breath before muttering the words you have been reluctant about all this while. 

“I’ll take up the offer.”

“For the very last time sissy, I promise I will be fine,” you spoke through your headphones as you were on a video call with your sister, who was back home at your apartment. 

“You have never done something so impulsive before, and given that you made this whole decision during your darkest hours? I highly doubt that you’re okay, Miss Y/N.” 

“Well, I can assure you that the darkest hours are gone, and I’m now free and much happier. I can work with Fendi!” 

Your sister sighed through the phone. “Working with big brands is one thing; what about your physical and mental well-being?” 

“Rome doesn’t sound too bad to me, and besides, living in the UK for a couple of years has definitely given me the experience I’ve needed to survive back in the EU again.” 

“Fine. Just…be careful, okay? Give mom and I a call once you’ve touched down.” 

You gave a little flying kiss through the phone. “Don’t worry, I will.” 

After waving goodbye on both sides, you clicked the red end call button and leaned back onto the chair you had been sitting on for the past hour. It was definitely a shocker to you that Fendi was willing to accept you immediately without having to go through any sort of significant interviews and that they were kind enough to even provide accommodations for you. At the same time, you work for them under a contract of two years. Frankly, it was a good deal and a steal. 

You slowly stare into the digital clock on the big screen, which eventually becomes an announcement. 

“All passengers bound for Rome, Italy, please head to gate 4B and be ready for boarding!” 

Instantly, almost all of the people around you began standing and lining up as if they needed to be the first to get on board. You have always disliked and never understood why the rush and pushing against one another trying to fight for the first slot, so you often just sat back and relaxed until only a couple of folks left to board the plane. 

Time went by quickly, and thirty minutes have passed since then. Now, only a handful of passengers are left to board. That was when it was your cue to get up and sling your backpack onto your back. 

As you slowly walked towards the counter to let the flight attendants scan your passport and let you through the gates, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulders, causing you to turn behind to see who it was. 

You didn’t have much time to respond until you were pulled in for a tight embrace; that familiar cologne was enough to make the tears well up in your eyes again.

“J-Juyeon…” your voice muffled. 

“Stop. Let me just…let me do the talking this time. Please.” 

You would have definitely fought back and started pushing him away once more, but it seems that you were either too taken aback or lost all of the energy throughout the past week to do so. Instead, you just stood there motionless in his arms. 

“Y/N, I know it would be horrible for me to ask for forgiveness because I definitely do not deserve any of that after what I have put you through. Or even for another chance because you clearly gave me one, and it was my fault for not appreciating nor cherishing the moment when it happened,” he began stroking your head, his fingers running through your long, silky, soft hair. 

“But one thing is for sure: I will not let you go this time. This time, I am going to hold you so tight that there’s no room for you to escape; I’ll make sure that you will forever be safe and sound in my arms, and I will be the one who is going to bring you joy instead of pain and tears.” 

He then bends down to give you a little kiss on your forehead. “You mean a lot to me, Y/N. And I’d like to think you are more than just a friend; you’re my other half. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to move on, knowing that I will lose you again, and this time, forever, if I don’t stop you now.” 

“So please, Y/N. I’m begging you. Please don’t go.” 

With his final words, you eventually find your arms slowly snaking up his back and returning the hug to him. You weren’t too sure why you did that, especially after the tremendous pain you have gone through the past week in particular. At the end of the day, the phrase where the heart wants what it wants will forever remain faithful to you, whether you like it or not. 

You sobbed. “You’re not going to make me stay that easily.”

“Oh yeah? You think I’m not capable of doing that?”

“Prove it then.” 

Instantly, one of his hands travelled back up to your chin and lifted them, causing you to look directly towards his as he slowly bent down to interlock his lips with yours. The kiss was rather heated, as if the both of you had been waiting for this to come so badly. You couldn’t care less if you both were actually making out at the airport.

Juyeon cupped your face with both hands as he tilted his head for you to gain more entrance into his. His lips felt soft yet demanding as if you were devouring a forbidden fruit. In return, you run your fingers through his silky black hair. 

After a few minutes, you both broke apart for some fresh air, trying your best to catch your breath simultaneously. 

“Is that supposed to make me stay put in Seoul, Juyeon?” You teased. 

With that, he merely replied with a little smile followed by a smirk. “That, Miss Y/N, was actually a pact you made to me. Treat it as a contract, if you will, that you are bound to stay by my side no matter what.” 

“Ugh, that’s so foul of you!” 

“You should know that I have my ways; I’m not the CEO of GQ Korea for nothing.” 

The both of you eventually burst out into laughter while Juyeon finds both hands on your waist while you wrap your arms around his shoulders. 

“Listen, Y/N. I want to apologise on behalf of my uncle and Saeran.” 

“Oh, yeah. No big deal. By the way, is Saeran—”

“It’s not what you think it is.” 

“It’s not?”

He smiled. “She’s my little cousin, and she often showers me with tons of hugs and kisses, even though I’ve told her to stop a million times.” 

“Well, you’re lucky to have a cousin who loves you that much,” you replied. 

“Yeah, but she’s going to have to learn that she can’t do that anymore because someone else is going to replace her job for that.” 

As much as you knew who he referred to, you still wanted to drag this further. “And who exactly is that?” 

“Hmm…maybe the contract before wasn’t clear enough. Should I make another one?”

You slapped his chest immediately. “Don’t you dare, we’re in public.” 

Again, another burst of laughter was genuinely beginning to make you feel a lot better, even to the point of slowly healing all the scars you have had before. 

With that, you needed to make yourself clear to the man himself. 

“Juyeon, can I just be honest with you?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” 

“I appreciate you doing all of this for me, but I just want to give you a heads-up that it’ll take a while for me to heal from everything completely and that I’m sorry if I don’t give you the exact treatment that you expect from me, and I—”

You were then silenced with another kiss on the lips; this time, Juyeon took the time to shower you with as many kisses as possible, making sure that each was worthwhile before breaking the kiss again. 

“Y/N, I don’t care about all of that. You can take as long as you need, but just know that I will be here for each step you take, and I’ll give you support whenever you need it. I promise. I will not leave you behind ever again.” 

As you both plastered a soft smile, you leaned in to rest your forehead against each other, taking in everything that had happened minutes prior.

“Here’s to a new beginning with you.”

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @daisyvisions (join my permanent taglist here!)

[sleep-drunk-kitten]

𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

pairing: enhypen x fem!reader, platonic!Sunoo, ft. Lee Felix and Han Jisung of Stray Kids and Choi Soobin of TXT as side characters

genre: crack, fluff, isekai!au, royalty!au

content warnings: the crown prince is a bit of a jerk, war and an absent father are mentioned in passing, other than that there's nothing I can really think of? but lmk if I missed anything!

word count: 3.9k

summary: upon meeting her betrothed and possible murderer for the first time... our protagonist finds herself sure of two things: 1) he's every bit the princely male lead of the novel she'd loved so much in her previous life and 2) he's actually a little insufferable.

notes: It's finally hereeeee!! I'm so sorry for making you all wait for this, but I'm slowly working my way out of that writing slump~ I'm not sure whether or not I like how this turned out, but I hope you guys can just overlook it and move on if it sucks 😭 (please, for my sake, do. I will literally cry if my anxiety's proven right rn-)

I will be making a taglist for this fic, so if you're interested in being added please either drop an ask or let me know in the comments

Everything after the cut IS proofread for once, but please feel free to let me know if any typos slipped through the cracks!

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“Nonono, the blue one was a million times better,” Sunoo said, pointedly ignoring the deathly glares of Felix, your head maid.

  “Maybe it would be if I were going out for an evening ball or something, but it's a bit much for seeing a guest over some tea,” you reply dismissively, inspecting the girl standing in the three large mirrors placed round the circular platform you’d been standing on for the past hour, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another as your maids brought dress after dress out from your closet and whisked you through trying them on one by one. 

  Sunoo rolled his eyes at the statement, marching towards your vanity and sifting through the jewelry scattered across it till he settled on a length of thin silk ribbons. “Babes, be real with me here, it's not just some tea party and you know it.”

  The three maids who'd been helping you into the layers of lace and silk that made up the soft buttercup yellow gown Felix had chosen stepped to the side to give Sunoo room on the platform behind you, having learned very early on that there was little to no point in trying to stop him. 

  Ribbon in hand, he began weaving the silky material through the hairstyle they'd arranged as neatly and prettily as possible, ignoring a pained noise from the one nearest him. “I mean, it's not every day your fiance comes all the way out to your family’s manor on the outskirts of the city to make sure the bride-to-be he doesn’t actually care about hasn't lost all her marbles.” 

  You didn’t understand how Sunoo managed to carry on chattering with their eyes boring holes into the back of his head, especially when their dirty looks were nothing compared to the expression on Felix’s face–his twitching left eye reminded you of a glitching video game character–but he did, carrying on as if it were just the two of you in the room.

  “Your Grace,” Felix’s voice was strained, “I really do wish you wouldn't say such things to her Highness.”

  “What? That her beloved fiance's come to see her?” Sunoo said, batting his eyes and pouting in mock innocence.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Felix snapped back, eyes darting between his face and the silk in his hands. 

  “You know she doesn’t really care, right? Why would she care about that cold-hearted stone-faced bas-”

  “Sunoo!” you gasped, cutting him off by stomping on one of his fluffy house slippers with the toe of the wildly uncomfortable heel that had been forced onto your foot. You swear you see the corner of Felix’s lip twitch at the strangled noise your best friend makes. 

  “Ow ?! That was uncalled for- what’s with the look? Is anything I’m saying wrong?”

  “No, but you still shouldn’t be talking that way about a member of the royal family,” you reply with irritation, “you not liking him doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s the fucking prince now does it?”

  In your peripheral, the three maids shift uncomfortably, and Felix doesn’t even try to hide a long-suffering sigh, making a mental note to inform your tutor that your etiquette lessons still weren’t sticking the way they should. 

  Sunoo sees this, of course–grinning evilly at you. “It would seem that it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a princess either, Your Highness, better wash out that potty mouth of yours before your dearly betrothed arrives.”

  You nearly grab a handful of your skirts to give yourself enough mobility to kick him, but Felix launches himself in your direction before you have the chance, shoving Sunoo rather unceremoniously to one side and holding your wrists under the guise of guiding you off the platform. 

  “An excellent idea Your Grace, but I fear we have neither the time nor the soap for such an endeavor as m’lady’s presence is needed in the garden.”

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

  It really was a scene straight from one of your romance manhwas; a neatly laid tea table under a pearly white gazebo, your gloved hand wrapped delicately round the gilded handle of a steaming cup of tea–the picture of perfection in your soft yellow dress that matched the white and yellow roses blooming in the bushes surrounding you perfectly. 

They filled the cool morning breeze with their sweet perfume, sending ripples across the clear blue lake so it glittered in the morning sun.

  It was beautiful.

  So beautiful. 

  And yet it still didn’t quite compare to the man sitting accross from you. 

  You’d read his description countless times. Everything from the plush curve of his lips to the sharp intensity held in his dark eyes… yet nothing could have prepared your heart for the sound of his laughter, carried to you over the foliage, the sight of those lips spread in an easy smile as he chatted with your brother, shoulders shaking with mirth.

  Nor, you think, could anything have braced you for the chill that would run down your spine when his smile dropped the second Soobin said his goodbyes, worriedly whispering a plea for you to ‘behave yourself’ as he kissed your cheek and left the two of you alone. Your chest constricting almost painfully when those same dark eyes that you’d squealed and giggled over late at night fixed on you, void of any emotion. 

  He'd stood from his place at the table to greet you, bowing formally in reply to the curtsy your poor tutor had drilled into your bones. 

  “(y/n).”

  “Your highness.”

  “You look to be in good health.”

  “I am, the family doctor and my handmaids have tended to me with so much care since the incident, recovering well is the very least I could do.”

  An awkward pause.

  “You seem to be in good health too, Your Highness.”

  You could’ve kicked yourself when the prince simply nodded and thanked you in return–a flash of something like recognition passing behind his eyes–before they went back to that easy, indifferent facade you supposed was crafted especially for Princess (y/n). ‘which makes sense,’ you mentally deadpan, ‘she was about as close to a crazy yandere psycho as you could get without actually killing anyone.’ 

  Still, those simple pleasantries, taken straight from the pages of volume two of your etiquette lessons, were the only words exchanged in greeting.

  It made even the silvery morning breeze feel stifling.

  Ever the gentleman, the prince pulled out your chair, made sure you were comfortable, and nodded once to your guard. “All is well with the knights of the (l/n) estate, Han?”

  The effort it took to refrain from snapping your head up and giving them both a confused once-over was monumental. It hadn't occurred to you that the crown prince would be familiar with any of your personal guards, though you supposed it made sense. Most of them had, according to Felix, been looking after you since you were only nine or ten, of course they'd be on friendly terms with your fiance.

  “We've been keeping busy, Your Highness,” Han said, and you could almost hear the smile in his voice. Knowing him, he was probably rocking back and forth on his heels, hands clasped behind his back. 

  “That's good to hear,” the prince nodded, settling into the seat across from you, “I fear the royal knights have grown rather complacent since the relief and revelry that followed the war, it has been a task for General Jeong to whip them back into shape.” 

  “I can imagine,” Han chuckled. “But really, who could blame them, it’s taken us a long time to reach this peace, what good would it be if we didn’t take at least a moment here or there to enjoy it? As it is, I doubt we would have stayed so diligent if it weren’t for Her Grace, (y/n)’s been coming down to the training grounds and asking us to teach her some basic swordsmanship of late.” 

  While Han was probably puffing up his chest and beaming proudly over at the prince, thrilled to share the good news that you were finally taking your swordsmanship and safety more seriously, you were trying to avoid choking on air. 

  There were many things that you didn’t know about Princess (y/n) (l/n)–daughter of an esteemed archmage and revered general–but one of the things that had been emphasised enough in the novel enough for it to stick firmly in your mind was this: she was a frivolous, selfish, bitter disappointment to her bloodline. Squandering the skills she’d inherited from her mother to brew potions that only served her own selfish needs, and refusing to entertain the possibility that she could possibly take after the father she loathed for abandoning her to fight in the war . 

  She would never willingly break a sweat. 

  Especially for the sake of swinging around a big heavy old sword. 

  And it seemed the prince was thinking the same thing, his next words directed at you. “I didn’t know you’d developed an interest in adopting such strenuous hobbies.”

  “I… I suppose almost dying will do that to you.”

  “Indeed…” 

  There was a brief pause, in which the prince looked like he was contemplating the milky way while stirring a cube of sugar into his tea. Setting your nerves on edge as you wondered if now was a good time to bring up wanting to end your engagement, or if you should try and “ease into the subject more naturally” as your tutor had told you with his head in his hands, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of his eyes after witnessing just how “abrupt” your manner of speaking was.  

  You were still turning the words over in your mind when his voice cut through your thoughts, crisp and clipped despite the concern you guessed the inquiry was meant to show. “I was told that you were caught in a storm.” 

  “I was,” you nod with a bit too much enthusiasm, relieved to finally have an excuse to fill the silence. “I was told that I was on my way back from visiting a cousin who happened to be staying in town when a sudden storm hit us and knocked my carriage into a ravine-”

  “You were ‘told’ that you were on your way back from visiting a cousin? That fact doesn’t come from your own memory?”

  You blink, caught off guard by his interruption. ‘Isn’t that rude? Is he allowed to be rude because he’s a prince or because he’s my fiance? But wait he shouldn’t be rude either way? Ah screw it, being mad won’t help my case anyway so…’ 

  “Yes, I believe His Grace mentioned in his letter to the palace that the event and the fever that followed seems to have caused a condition the doctors refer to as temporary amnesia, my memories are only there in bits and pieces.”

  “Is this memory loss permanent?” 

  “No, we suspect I’ll start remembering things  little by little, a few are already coming back to me,” you say, one hand gripping the material of your skirt in an attempt to keep your voice pleasant and calm.

Sure, the prince didn’t like the princess much, but that didn’t mean he had to be a prick about it, he could afford to be nicer when he was asking questions about her literally forgetting her entire identity. If you didn’t know how awful she’d be a few years down the road, you would’ve found him insufferable. 

  “I see…” he said, still slowly stirring his tea.

  “What exactly do you see, Your Highness,” you smile a little tersely, bringing your own cup up to your lips, praying that the lipstick your maids had chosen was transfer-proof. 

  The prince raised an eyebrow at you, apparently picking up on the shift in your tone.  “Nothing… I’m simply intrigued by your sudden change in character, and the rather dramatic event that you claim caused it.” 

  It takes you a moment to process his words, and a moment more for agitation to prickle under your skin. ‘The fudge muffin does he mean claim?? I fell off a hill??? Hannie carried me back??? I was out of my mind for a week???’

  Reminding yourself over and over again that in his mind he was talking to someone who definitely wasn’t you, you press your lips into one of the polite, plastic smiles Sunoo had been practicing with you. “I apologise for not hitting my head on something less dramatic… I’ll be sure to aim for the carriage windows instead of massive tree branches if it would be more convenient for you… Your Highness.” 

  “What would have been more convenient for me, and all parties involved, would be your learning to heed warnings, and refrain from traipsing off into town when you know that the sky bodes ill,” he replied smoothly, ignoring the agitation in your voice. 

  “I’ll do my best to remember that then, Your Highness,” you say through gritted teeth, taking a fortifying sip of your rich floral tea, immediately wondering how the prince could possibly drink something so naturally sweet with even more sugar. 

  Your answer seemed to surprise him, another flash of… something crossing his features before it vanished just as quickly as the one before. 

  “Very well,” he nodded, bringing the sugary concoction he’d like to call tea to his lips, distracting you slightly with the way his adam’s apple bobbed as he drank. 

  ‘Oh he hates my guts but dear mother of cheesy romance he’s definitely this world’s male lead…’ you mused, shaking your head slightly to get yourself back on track. You were annoyed. Very annoyed. And the source of that annoyance was speaking to you again. 

  “I came here today to confirm for myself that you have indeed recovered fully, now that I’ve made sure of that there really is no reason for me to linger longer than necessary,” he said, setting down his cup with such practiced ease that it barely made a sound.

  Alarm buzzed under your skin, causing you set your own cup down with much less grace than intended, a sharp clinking noise ringing through the empty gardens. “I- oh shoot- Your Highness there’s actually something I need to discuss with you before-”

  “If it concerns the steadily growing pile of invitations and inquiries piling up on your writing desk we needn’t bother with any discussion,”  he said, cutting you off without missing a beat, already signalling to the guards–who’d moved away at some point to offer you both more privacy–indicating that he intended to stand and leave. "As long as you stick to the promise you just made to listen to your guards and His Grace, you’re allowed to attend and host as many gatherings as your heart desires, just know that I will not be able to accept any invitations, I am a busy man-”

  “Your Highness,” you all but snapped, lips pursed into a thin line, as if sealing them together would stop the flurry of expletives in your mouth from rolling off your tongue.

  “(y/n),” he said mildly, raising an eyebrow.

  “That is not what I wanted to discuss, but while we’re here, why the hell would I need your permission to attend any kind of gathering?”

  The prince blinked blankly, holding up a hand to signal both his and your guards to wait. “What are you on about (y/n)? You’re my fiance.”

  “Yes, exactly, fiance, and by arrangement, not by choice.”

  “I can’t say I follow your meaning, both these things are well established.”

  You swore your eyes nearly popped out of your skull with the effort it took not to roll them. “If I were your wife, or your partner by choice I would, to a certain degree, understand if you wanted me to give you a heads up before I go out-”

  “A head?...”

  “But I’m not, and at this rate I’m really not sure I want to be, I’m an individual totally separate from you, these are my decisions to make, you have no right to dictate my comings and goings… Your Highness.”

  The Prince went silent, watching you steadily, his calm an aggravating contrast to the tense knot of anger and anxiety lodged in your throat. ‘Oh… oh… I’m so sorry Mr. Park…’ you whisper a silent apology in your head and offer a few prayers for your tutor and the vein in his forehead’s good health.

  “What exactly do you mean by ‘at this rate I’m really not sure I want to be’, Princess.”

  The chill that runs down your spine when he uses your title instead of your name is immediate, your hands going slightly numb in the silken confines of your gloves.

“I mean that… that I don’t want to marry a complete stranger,” you manage, fumbling through whatever you could salvage from the script you and Sunoo had prepared. 

  “Is that what you'd call someone you’ve known since childhood?” he scoffed, the annoyance creasing his brows the most feeling he’d shown in response to you since his arrival. 

  “Well from the way you’ve spoken to me till now I can’t exactly consider you a friend now can I?” you seethe, regretting it almost instantly when his expression twists into something almost like hurt. You’re not sure why he made that face, but in a moment it’s gone, and no matter how it made you feel, you have a goal here. Not. Dying. 

  Which probably meant that pissing off the crown prince wasn’t the best idea. But oh well. 

  “I have no memory of you, Your Highness, as far as my mind is concerned, today is our first meeting… and from what I can see, the boy who’s meant to be my future husband sees me as either an object or a nuisance… I was hoping that meeting you would ease my mind about this whole engagement thing, but I’m sure now. I don’t want this.”

  The prince stared at you for a few moments, expression unreadable, and you guess that–aside from what you hope looks like defience and resolve–you look much the same. 

  When the world finally clicks back into motion, he nods once. “You do know that dissolving this agreement between our families is not something to be taken lightly? While our parents cannot force us into marriage, they will still try to convince us of our obligations.” 

  He looked up then, and something in his expression was different. It was still indifferent and unreadable as it had been, but there was a softness to it that you couldn’t quite place. It was confusing. “I understand, I know it won’t be easy, but this is my wish,” you say, relaxing slightly in your own seat. 

  “If that is what you want… I will speak to my father once things have settled down within the palace… I jest about the knights and their complacency, but the air is less than still, war is a messy business, and cleaning up the aftermath will take some time.”

  “I can wait… till next spring, but you must have asked him by then.”

  “I will,” he nods, “and I’ll write to you once it is done so you may speak with His Grace as well.”

  “Thank you… it’s appreciated…”

  You stay like that for a beat longer, staring at each other from across an intricately laid tea table, each of you wondering what the other must be thinking.

  “If that is all… I shall take my leave,” he says, breaking the odd trance. Standing, waves your guards over, and you take that as your cue to stand and curtsy as well. 

  “It was a pleasure meeting you, Your Highness, the (l/n) family thanks you for your time.” 

  “Likewise,” he says, bowing. 

  Han and two other knights make their way over, wearing slightly troubled expressions, you guess they must’ve heard more than they were meant to. But it doesn’t matter, you think, eventually the news of the broken engagement would be the talk of the town, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about a few knights getting a preview. 

  “Before I go,” the prince says, “you should know that you never needed my permission for anything, (y/n). You may come and go as you please, you are an individual capable of thought and making her own decisions, as you say. However you must understand that to the public eye, you are the future crown princess, and that is not something to be taken lightly. It is my duty to do what I can to protect the royal family’s image, and having my fiance attend tea parties and balls when she is not in her right mind would have been foolish, to say the least.”

  He’s being earnest, you realise. Apologising in his own roundabout way. Maybe. Whatever it is, you choose to take it, knowing that beneath whatever dislike he may hold for the former princess, Park Jongseong was a good person. 

  “I… I’ll remember that in future…” you murmur.

  “Good… and one last thing.”

  “By all means.”

  “I know now that you have no memory of me, but you should know that you’ve never called me by my title.”

  “Oh?” to your memory, the princess had never called him anything but his title, he wouldn’t allow it. “Did I… call you by your given name?” 

  For the first time, he smiles at you, and you curse your heart for the way it flutters in your chest. “No, I don’t expect you to use it if it brings you discomfort, but the nickname you gave me when we were six was ‘Jay’, because you said I resembled a bird by the same name.”

  “A Blue jay?”

  “Yes, my hair was lighter then.”

  That confuses you slightly, his hair is black, as far as you can tell, but you ignore it, choosing to smile politely and nod along. “It must have been a very handsome bird.”

  “It was rather ugly, actually,” he says, walking down the gazebo steps to join his guards. “I bid you farewell, Princess, the royal family thanks you for your time.”

  “Likewise,” you respond, watching him as he goes. Noting with a hint of amusement that his hair shines blue in the now bright morning sun. 

  “What was all that about?” a voice says, and, predictably, Sunoo appears from one of the side paths. 

  “Were you listening the whole time?” 

  “Well I tried, but the fountain was too loud, only caught some yelling.”

  “Some guard you are,” you whine, smacking Han on the arm as he joins the two of you, “did you even realise a sneaky little rat was eavesdropping? 

  “Ow! For your information I did, but I figured there was no point chasing him round the gardens when I knew you’d be inviting that rat to tea anyways.”

  “That is very true,” you sigh, grabbing a plate and settling yourself across from Sunoo–who already had a mint chocolate chip cookie stuffed in his mouth. 

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

  “(y/n)! Forget soap we’re gonna need bleach for that mouth tonight,” Sunoo cries, doubled over in a fit of giggles.

  “I knowwww,” you groan, massaging your temples. “Mr. Park’s gonna kill me.”

  Sunoo shakes his head. “You make the poor guy sound like an old man, you do realise he’s only our senior by about two years, right?”

  “He’s still my tutor! I’m trying to show some respect, as a thank you for how patient he is with my dumb ass.”

  “He deserves a raise,” Han chips in, settled on the marble gazebo rails with a plate of cheesecake in hand. 

  “He doessss,” Sunoo agrees, waving a teaspoon for emphasis.

  “You’re all really mean y’know,” you sigh, slumping over the table and grabbing one of Sunoo’s hands and moving it into the shape of a rabbit.

  “Not as mean as Sunghoon’s about to be when he sees your posture,” Sunoo says. 

  “What do you mea- Oh! Good morning Professor Park!”

[lemonxdaisybby]

How about the Legends and Ichigang fellas taking shower by themselves and with their s/o? Just anything that comes up

Hello! Thank you for your request! 💕 Some mild NSFW hcs, hope that’s okay x

I’ve just done Ichigang guys for now because I am v dumb and wasn’t entirely sure who the Legends consisted of. I’m not sure if you mean Kiryu, Majima, Saejima, etc, but also didn’t wanna make any assumptions incase I got it wrong 😭 I’m so sorry, please free to send another request in if you wanna add more characters for this hc 💕

Ichiban:

When showering on his own, Ichi would be a fan of cold showers. He has one each morning, and he finds the cool water tends to wake him up properly, and makes him more alert. He only really has warm showers if he’s feeling ill, or if it’s especially cold out…or if he’s showering with you.

He would be so shy the first time you shower together, as he wouldn’t really know what to do with himself, or where to look. He wouldn’t want to come across as a creep so would actively try to avoid looking at you at first, until you laugh at him and tell him to chill out. Then he’s gonna relax and realise he’s been overthinking the whole thing.

Sometimes, showering with Ichi would end in sex, and other times it would just be completely innocent, with the two of you washing each others hair. There would be no expectations.

You two would probably be a lil goofy in the shower, styling each others hair to make it stick up at odd angles, or creating bubble beards with the shower wash. Very cute and sweet.

Nanba:

Man is frugal, and very conscious of his water/household bills. Showers are gonna be quick, speedy and efficient. He probably would be eager to shower with you because firstly, saves on water and bills, and secondly, he gets to see you naked. There is no down-side.

Likely uses the most basic of shower products. He doesn’t really have a preference for shampoos, soaps or shower gels/washes, and tends to just get whatever is on sale.

Showering together would never really get sexual. Nanba can’t see very well without his glasses, so likely would be a little clumsy when showering, and is definitely not up for attempting to fuck you in there. However, once you two are out the shower, well, that’s another story.

Honestly, showering together would just be quick and no nonsense. There wouldn’t really be any goofing around. He’s there for a purpose, to get clean. No shenanigans.

Adachi:

Hums and sings in the shower. Also, he just really enjoys showers in general? He is so happy when showering, and will always have a lil content smile on his face. Adachi has super hot showers too, the heat relaxes his poor old muscles.

He likely prefers baths, to be honest. As he can just lay back and close his eyes, and maybe even have a beer whilst he bathes.

He has a yellow rubber ducky just sitting on the side of the bath. He bought it because he thought it looked cute and funny. He won’t admit it to anyone, but sometimes after a hard day, when having a bath to de-stress, he finds himself absentmindedly telling the ducky about his problems. He wouldn’t necessarily talk to it, but he’d kinda lean back and just begin venting, glancing at the duck every now and again and telling it how lucky it is, not having to deal with everyday shit.

When showering together, if it’s in one of those shower cubicles, it would be a bit squishy, as he’s so huge and takes up a lot of space. If it’s a shower-head over a bathtub, it’s less squishy but you two will definitely end up fighting about who gets to stand under the shower head.

Horny man, so he probably adores showering with you, and often it does end up with sex. He’d lift you up and have your back pressed against the wall, with your legs wrapped around his hips as he slowly thrusts in to you at a relaxed pace.

Joon-Gi:

Joon-Gi takes hygiene and beauty regimes very seriously. He likely uses the most luxurious shower washes and shampoos ever, and has a careful shower routine to follow. He showers every morning and night.

Showering with Joon-Gi wouldn’t happen often. Showering is like his chill time. He likes to relax, unwind, and allow his mind to go blank. He takes it as an opportunity to pamper himself too.

However, on the occasions where you do shower together, he would help you wash your hair and body. He would not allow you to wash him or his hair though. He’s very particular and likes to do it himself.

He would have been pretty bashful the first time the two of you showered together, not quite knowing what to do with himself, or where to look.

On rare occasions, showering together can result in shower sex, but most of the time, it’s pretty innocent and he’s more focused on getting clean.

Zhao:

Zhao showers every morning, and is likely still half asleep when showering. There has been the odd occasion where he’s almost dozed off whilst standing under the shower head, the feeling of the hot water cascading down his back almost sending him to sleep.

Definitely smooths his hair back under the water like one of those fancy shampoo adverts.

He does jerk off in the shower when showering alone. The hot water has him relaxed, and also it’s easy to clean up after.

When showering together, it’s always going to end up with sex, with only one exception - when you’re ill. If you’re feeling pretty sick and weak, to the point where you’re struggling to walk or carry out daily tasks, he will shower with you. It would be so soft and wholesome. He’d wash your hair and body for you, and then help you dry afterwards. He’d be pretty good at taking care of you when you’re sick.

Any other time you shower together, you’re gonna end up with your front pressed against the cool shower tiles or glass, as he thrusts in to you from behind.

[jasntodds]

Penance Chapter 2 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 6/12

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Teaser Words: 1,716 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, mentions of canon violence Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞ It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? A/N: I'm having problems with my taglist?? I'm trying desperately to get it to work properly so please bear with me lol I'm always going to post some sort of update when this fic will be posted just in case so you can search my blog under "penance" if you haven't been tagged in anything in a week!! A teaser or chapter will be posted every week!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn’t too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It's a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn't entirely sure what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he'll just take it from there. It's not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he's not sure what Tim will even be doing.

Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.

Meanwhile, you've made your place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And you can’t help but feel excited to see him. You miss him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it's under the circumstances of Robin. There's also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.

Seeing him means there's going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of you being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There's going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It's going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will you even be able to pick up where you left off? Or will you fall into an awkward dance where you both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and you really hope he's okay and happy. You're excited just to see how he's doing.

You're laying on your stomach to take cover while you watch over the ledge but your fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It’s the hope this goes okay, that he doesn’t hate you. That Tim is happy to see you both. That Tim doesn’t get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood your system. Why did you agree to this?

Commotion starts from below you and you see Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, you can tell the suit is a little different than Jason's and Dick's. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it's longer. It fits him actually. You stand on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand. 

Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they’re faster than he is and better. You know Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so you use the grappling hook to lower yourself down but before your feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as your feet hit the ground, you nail the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with your arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.

Of course, he beat you to it.

Jason's eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see you tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing you throws him off. It's a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but you travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just...two nights in a row seems...odd.

“I had that covered.” You state through your mask.

Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between you. Your mask always muffled your voice a little but it's still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.

“Where the fuck did you even come from?” Jason quips back.

You point to the roof. “Clearly. And you?” You question, keeping your voice flat and curious, trying to conceal your own nerves.

Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. “Clearly.” He echoes as he stands next to you.

It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get them to communicate and...maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can’t focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.

He needs to help Tim which means he can't let his feelings for you get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to you doesn't make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses you so fucking much it physically pains him. He can't find himself to be mad because you'll never abandon Tim so even if you don't speak to Jason while you help him, at least he gets to see you as you. Like old times even if it doesn’t last and for that, Jason is happy.

Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and you swear you swallowed your heart. He looks so good. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and you think you've melted at the sound of his voice.

His voice is somehow better than you remember it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and you've never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of your mouth because your lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation you had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.

Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and you've just been sucked right back into it.

You miss him so fucking much.

Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. “I’m Robin.” Tim states as if Jason should have known.

The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason’s lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It’s weird because it almost feels…hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he’s not. It hurts in the way he’s reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There’s almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn’t work for Dick. He didn’t die as Robin but it didn’t work for him. Jason was killed. Where’s that going to leave Tim?

On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn’t. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn’t. The people need a Robin and he doesn’t really know Tim but you do and Gar does. He trusts you both and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It’s a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.

“Hey.” You chime as you walk closer to him.

Tim’s smile splits his face. “Hey, how’d you know I’d be here?”

“Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you.” You laugh softly before you pull him into a gentle hug. “You should have told me.” You say as you pull away, your hands coming to his shoulders as you look over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason’s.

“Yeah, I thought I could handle this.” Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job. 

“Clearly, you were wrong.” Jason closes the distance between you. “You’re lucky we showed up when we did.” Jason stands right beside you as you drop your hands from his shoulders, maybe you looking over the suit makes him want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I got that.” Tim nods his head. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” The smile reaches your eyes as you beam back at Tim.

Jason’s eyes narrow at you slightly. You seem awfully happy. He knows Tim is your friend but you just seem overly happy or maybe he’s in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking you up from Titans Tower and it was...similar. It's like he's getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing you were not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of your feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved you look happy instead of pissed off Dick set you up. He’s just thankful you haven’t run away. Yet.

prev. chapter

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[kysuguru]

you REPLIED IM SO HAPPY😭😭🤞 btw the fact that suguru AND satoru are both her love interests im so HAPPY stsg for the WIN!!! i love how suguru and shoko automatically know what satoru is implying cause hes so so OBVIOUS!

i cant imagine the troubles suguru and satoru would have with reader.. shes so enduring and she allows them to do whatever because shes too sweet! ofc shes serious when the time comes down to it but i just know she takes the two lightly and cares too highly of their opinions to really say no to them. i 100% know suguru is worst when it comes to teasing her. in this universe i want to believe suguru does not deflect so he stays there w them. although reader probably does not realize the two actually is in love with her, she probably assumes they are with each other so she does not want to intrude.

what if shoko and reader were discussing about first dates and she finds out reader never had her first anything and sets her up with one? maybe rin or shin?! LOL and behold satoru and suguru being menaces and completely mean to her . the trouble they would cause to the way they would be so upset. reader actually enjoyed her first date but shes confused why stsg are so upset over her. they always teased her for not having a bf and when she does try theyre even more ruthless?? bc in reality to stsg they always thought she belonged to them and they’re actually in shock that shoko would do that knowing about their crushes on reader? (cue shoko laughing in the background)

i love these asks smmm😭 tysm for sending. and ur right!! i have chapter one and two written and posted on my ao3, but suguru doesn’t defect, i cant allow that. and yes… stsg are sooo annoying when it comes to jealousy. like they are so suffocating..

this is new, very new.

it was a brief conversation, so mundane you wouldn’t bother to remember it unless brought up. shoko asked a simple question. “you ever been on a date before?” after talking about her horrible experiences with lousy men. it was an easy answer, “no.”

and you thought it’d end there. of course it’s normal for girls your age to go on dates with other people, experience the life of romance at a young age, but it wasn’t odd to meet a girl your age who hadn’t been on a date. so you weren’t sure why shoko put you up to this.

rin sits across you with a beaming smile, the fluorescents of the cafe highlighting his freckles. you fiddle with the warm cup of coffee in front of you. you weren’t much of a coffee person, but you panicked and ordered the first thing on the menu. it was bitter, terribly so, you weren’t sure whether you’d prefer this or satoru’s cups of diabetes.

you sip on it occasionally, to make yourself look engaged. you hope your poker face has improved, you’d be humiliated if the bitterness on your tongue manifested itself onto your expression (rin noticed, but felt too awkward to speak up).

it’s weird, and you try pretending this wasn’t set up at a romantic date.

you like rin, he’s really nice, but you’d never even imagined him romantically.

he’s beaming at you, you think he’s blushing, and he looks as if he’s in a daze with his cheek resting on his palm. the look of adoration is so shell shocking you’re gazing around the cafe at other customers he might be looking at.

you chalk it up to excitement of being in such a nice place.

conversation with him is easy though, you realize.

it’s unlike satoru or suguru. suguru’s a listener, unlike satoru who’s a talker. they fit in so well with one another it makes it hard to fit in. you don’t mind that, watching from afar is enough for you. but you still yearn.

maybe that’s why shoko did this in the first place. to get your mind off of them. you suppose it wouldn’t be bad to broaden your spectrum, you needed more friends anyway. you couldn’t always hang onto shoko, suguru, and satoru forever.

hours pass, and before either of you know it, the sun sets.

rin was full of stories, he had so much to tell about kyoto, his classmates, and his missions. he was so fond of it all that you couldn’t bear to stop him. it was nice listening to someone on the same level as you. not that you disliked listening to satoru boast about his missions and how awesomely strong he was, but it was a nice change of pace to hear such things come from someone of your caliber.

you could get used to this.

your entering the school with a content face. you feel them both before you see them.

satoru drapes himself onto you, talking obnoxiously loud in your ear as suguru sends you a soft smile. your company with rin was wonderful, but you didn’t realize how much you missed your favorite people until you see their visages.

“where were you at for so long?” suguru asks calmly, though there’s a hint of something else you can’t really decipher. maybe suspicion.

“shoko set me up on a date with rin.” you say sheepishly, scratching your cheek.

they both freeze, you can feel the way satoru’s breath stutters as his hold gets loose. you look up at them both, brows raised.

…

it’s so silent. was it something you said? were they perhaps upset you didn’t say anything? did they want to tag along? you would’ve said yes immediately.

“rin from kyoto?” satoru whispers, and you think he sounds angry. you can’t fathom why, so you try and brush if off. even though there’s a seed of dread starting to grow in the pit of your stomach.

“yes... shoko said something about chemistry. whatever that means!” you chuckle nervously.

satoru let’s you go, backing away. now you’re worried.

“i-is something wrong?” you look up at suguru for assistance but he’s turned his head.

you shuffle your feet, anxious. they’re obviously upset, but you don’t know why. “did i do something?” that’s the only thing you could think of. or did they not like rin? he was a nice guy, so you wouldn’t understand why.

satoru rubs your head, startling you.

“it’s nothing, sweets,” he says.

but he’s walking off before you can speak any further, he makes a point not to let you see his face as he departs. suguru gives you a strained smile before he’s following. “night,” he mutters.

and even though satoru reassured you, that seed of dread continued to grow.

satoru and suguru are busy. satoru hasn’t asked for your notes in awhile. you wanna assume that he’s got it down until you hear him loudly bugging suguru for his notebook. your heart drops at the fact that satoru just hasn’t asked you. you don’t know why that hurts, it shouldn’t. maybe suguru just conveys the answer better, there’s nothing wrong with that.

they go out for lunch, leaving you and shoko in the empty cafeteria with your cold noodles. shoko’s great company, of course, but the lack of satoru’s loud voice and suguru’s scolding makes it feel eerily quiet.

nights in the common room have shrunk to just you and shoko. it’s been like this for a few days. only a few days. yet you feel as if these days are dragging on slower than usual. shoko notices, and rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath how pathetic boys could be.

you think she’s spoken to them, for they look at you a little more now. but they barely talk to you unless the situation calls for it, even then, they’re awkward.

but it isn’t until shoko has been in high demand after a dangerous mission that the first years came back from that you’re alone with them. you’re nervous, feeling their eyes trained on you. you don’t dare make contact.

they begin talking to each other, and you feel joy consume you at the familiarity of it. you’re looking up now, making eye contact with the both of them. satoru opens his mouth, but you intervene.

“i’m sorry!”

their eyes are wide.

“i’m sorry for whatever i did. it’s just.. you guys feel distant. if it’s because of me then—”

“i should say sorry,” your eyes flit up to suguru’s as he scratches his neck sheepishly. “i was being childish.” he speaks into his palm. “we were being childish.” he corrects himself, eyes glaring into satoru’s, who huffs and crosses his arms.

“so it was something i did?” your brows knit as a frown etched itself onto your lips.

“it’s more complicated than that,” suguru says. but you’re not convinced.

satoru mutters something under his breath, you catch nothing but rin’s name. so you ask him to repeat himself.

“i just don’t like rin, is all.”

you blink.

“d-did he do something?” you needed to know, if he hurt or insulted suguru or satoru in any way you were ready to break it off—

“no. not exactly, we just… don’t like you being alone with him,” suguru admits, flushed.

oh!

you felt relief fill your chest.

“i think i know now.” you smile, happily. they stare. they both lean slightly forward, anticipating. “if i ever go out with him again i’ll invite you both out!” you clap your hands together.

they were upset that they weren’t invited along. that makes sense. you’re relieved. satoru did eye that cafe whenever you three passed it.

they share a look, one of amusement and one of exasperation.

“such a ditz,” satoru grumbles.

“we’d like that,” suguru smiles.

you’re happy, so happy you could cry tears of relief.

“i’m glad, i thought you were both gonna hate me forever.”

suguru grabs your hand, caressing your palm, your heartbeat spikes. “that’d never happen.”

satoru scoots closer to you and drapes himself over your shoulders, the familiar action has your cheeks hurting from how big you’re smiling. he squishes his cheek against yours, rubbing softly as he speaks, “never go out alone with rin again, okay? you need at least me or suguru there, not even shoko’s enough!”

they will never forget how she betrayed them so.

“of course,” you exhale, joyful.

and yes, abt stsg ur also right! this is kinda a poly thing. stsg love each other and the reader

[aetherdoesthings]

hi, I was wondering if you could do a romantic x reader oneshot on Roronoa Zoro for Valentine's Day!

hi! sorry this took a while, but made it in time for valentine day before it ends!

forethoughts: remember that aforementioned crush i had? yeah really felt lonely while writing this bc ain't no way she's into girls 😭. anyways enjoy :,). also no i still haven't talked to her yet i still get anxiety when i open the chat because 🤷. sorry if the pacing is fucked i was in a rush trying to get this out before valentine's day ends (i'm still at my grandpa's house) so yeah.

notes: fem!reader, valentines day

February 14 was rolling around the corner and time was ticking. You had spent the 13th worrying about what to do on the next day with your boyfriend, thinking about what to do on your first Valentine’s day after confessing to each other at the beginning of the year. Sure, it had been only a month of getting to know each other better and being comfortable around each other, but to the two of you (or to you at least) it felt like years. 

With the sun already halfway through its shift, you started to panic even more, as a ‘perfect Valentine’s day’ itinerary still has not been formed. Seeing you in such a manic state, Nami and Robin had whisked you away, quite literally carrying you by the limbs off the ship and into town to grab something to eat. You insisted that you did not need to eat anything and you needed to think and prepare, but with Nami’s glare and Robin’s arms threatening to incapacitate you, you reluctantly sat on the wooden chair across the two women as food was served to your table. You picked up your fork, taking a bite as you swallowed. Immediately, you were reminded of how depraved of food you were, and engulfed the entire plate within minutes. 

“Has planning your day tomorrow really stressed you out, dear Y/N?” Robin remarked, giving you a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth.

Your cheeks flushed red as you took the napkin, wiping your mouth before nodding your head. “I just want to have the perfect day with Zoro… he means the world to me, and I just want to have a good Valentine’s day with him…”

The moment you had confessed to Zoro, you had basically confessed to the whole crew since Zoro loved to brag about you being his girlfriend in front of Sanji. Naturally, everyone was supportive of it (Sanji as well after a few weeks) and it was common knowledge you and Zoro were dating.

Nami chuckled. “Still, it feels like you shouldn’t be putting in that much work into one day just by yourself. Do you know if Zoro is planning anything to do tomorrow?”

Your mouth was open, but no words came out. You sighed, shaking your head. “He’s been silent for the past few days. I tried bringing up Valentine’s day to him, and he just said ‘what’s that?’”

“So you’re putting this much thought and stress into planning out the perfect day with him but he’s not putting any effort into tomorrow?” Robin said.

The claim Robin made was like a bitter pill you had to swallow. It was true; while you spent your day stressing about Valentine’s day, Zoro was probably asleep or drinking or training in the gym like it was another Tuesday. 

“Come on, don’t sulk.” Nami flicked your head, prompting you to get out of your trance as you looked at the two women with a defeated look.

“Perhaps Zoro is planning on surprising you tomorrow.” Robin spoke out.

“Zoro can’t surprise me. I mean, he can, he’s just… not good at giving gifts. I love him, but sometimes I don’t want a bottle of sake for my birthday.”

“Didn’t the two of you finish that bottle in one night?”

“No we didn’t!” You shook your head adamantly. “Still, even if he’s going to surprise me… I just hope he doesn’t get me a dead boar again.”

“Hey, it’s the thought that counts, alright? At least he’s planning on surprising you.” Nami smiled. “It’s better than him just forgetting about you completely.”

“Why not just spend the rest of the day relaxing? You’ve spent the whole morning trying to plan for tomorrow. Just take a break; I’m sure tomorrow will be a great day regardless.” Robin suggested.

“We could go shopping together! I saw some really good shops near this cafe!”

You chuckled at Nami’s words. “Alright, alright. Sure.”

So you went shopping with the women of the Straw Hats, until the sun finally retired. The entire time you were still worried about tomorrow, but with Nami and Robin’s constant and unwavering encouragement and determination to make you not worry, you soon forgot about tomorrow and spent the rest of today shopping for clothes, watching Nami argue with a clerk for the price of a dress, and going inside libraries with Robin to check out books for Chopper and herself.

Since you had spent yesterday relaxing, you had nothing planned whatsoever for today. You had gotten into bed with Zoro, asking him one last time if he had anything planned for today. He simply grunted ‘go to sleep’. So you did.

The moment you woke up, you immediately noticed the Zoro-shaped hole in the mattress, your hand placed on the hot surface. Zoro must’ve gotten up a few minutes before you. You let out a sigh, forcing yourself to sit up as you rubbed your eyes. Zoro always woke up before you; he liked to train in the morning and get his morning workout done before the crew woke up. 

So today is a normal day after all… You thought to yourself. Even though you were disappointed that there wasn’t going to be any grand plan or event that was going to happen with you and Zoro, you were still determined to spend the rest of your time today with him. 

To your dismay, you had spent your entire day in fact trying to find Zoro on board the ship that was nowhere near land, since Franky had raised the anchor last night. Frustrated and tired, you had locked yourself in your shared room with Zoro, looking at old pictures of the two of you together, not a shred of love or romance beating in your heart.

You didn’t know how long you were moping for when the door to your room suddenly burst open. The green haired swordsman was standing there, wearing a shirt you had never seen before. His swords weren’t strapped to his side, his bandanna still tied to his shoulder. He ripped the blanket off your body, grabbing your hand. “Come on.”

It was already dark out, your legs wobbly and shaky from not moving the entire day. A mix of emotions surged to your head, your mind deciding what you should feel. As that was all happening, Zoro had swung you over his shoulder, as he ascended to the crow’s nest, plopping your body next to his. 

“What-” You were sitting on a bunch of cushions and pillows, while Zoro took a blanket for himself. There were treats and food littered around your makeshift seat, all foods that were your favorite. Candles were lit and scattered haphazardly around, placed by Zoro’s boots and your barefoot, away from the blankets and easily flammable cushions. The swordsman’s swords were placed beside him, one hand on all three hilts. His other hand was already gripped onto the neck of a bottle of sake, as he began to chug it slowly.

“What is all this?” You finally spoke after your mind had finally processed everything.

“Did you really think I forgot about Valentine’s day, dear?” Zoro let out a low chuckle, looking at you as he wrapped his arm around your neck. “Look.”

He removed his hand from the swords to point at the vast sea. Suddenly, red sparks colored the air, then orange, yellow, coloring the dull sky with bright cheery colors. You sat there in your comfy seat, jaw agape as you stared at the fireworks like a baby, your ears filled with the sound of cracks and wind of the fireworks launching into the air. The show lasted longer than you expected, the last firework forming a heart shape.

Zoro planted a kiss on your forehead, looking you in the eyes with love and affection, compared to the dull and lifeless ones he gave you yesterday. “Happy Valentine’s day, Y/N.”

[amakumos]

bluer birthday — yang jungwon.

synopsis. one last picture means one last chance to travel back in time to bring your dead boyfriend, yang jungwon back. but when you go back in time, you find yourself landing mere seconds before the crash that took your boyfriend’s life. with only a little time to spare, you find yourself needing to make a decision.

genre. angst (happy birthday won i’m sorry), alternate ending to blue birthday (please read that fic before this one or it won’t make sense), inspired by the tv show blue birthday

pairing. non idol! jungwon x fem! reader

word count. 2.4k

warnings. major character death, car crash, blood, ambulances, swearing

authors note. this is long overdue😅 i was supposed to post this like a week after i posted the original blue birthday fic, but… here i am now with the alternate ending! happy birthday jungwon 😅 and don’t worry i didn’t just post angst for his bday😭 there is a sequel to kiss and cry that is full of fluff if you’d like to read that too !! but in the meantime, enjoy the alternate ending to blue birthday ^_^

ONE. present day, 2026. 

You hold the last photo in your hands as Youngeun looks at you nervously. 

Your hands tremble a little as you look at the picture – you know that this is your last shot at bringing Jungwon back. You have tampered with the past, present and the future too much, and you know that there could be serious consequences. Regardless, you would do anything for Jungwon. 

“You only have one chance,” Youngeun tells you. 

You let out a shaky breath as you look at her. “Yeah. I do. This is my last shot.” 

“When you burn the picture, it should bring you back to when the photo was taken, right?” Youngeun asks, and you nod. At least, that’s what happened the last couple of times when you went back in time. You can only hope that the same thing happens this time. 

“Do you need any extra details?” Youngeun asks. 

“No,” you say, gazing at the photo. “It’s okay.” 

You remember every single second. How could you not, when you watched the person that you cared about the most die right in front of your very eyes. Every year on your birthday, you are reminded of the scene, and you want nothing but to erase it from your memory. 

“Good luck,” Youngeun says. “We’ll be waiting for you when you both are back.” 

“Thank you, Youngeun.” you smile at your friend. “I think I’m going to need it.”

“Don’t hurt yourself while you’re there,” she tells you. 

You nod, before you light the candle, taking one last look at the picture before holding it above the fire, letting the photo burn it away. 

TWO. the day of the accident, 2021.

You open your eyes walking across a street that looks all too familiar. 

You turn to look at who’s standing next to you, and it’s Jungwon. But something doesn’t seem right. The photo didn’t bring you back to when the photo was taken – you woke up in a completely different moment from the same day, and it’s only when you see the name of the street when you realise what’s going on.

Jungwon is mere seconds away from getting killed from that car. 

Your eyes widen in fear, shaking your head. “No, no, no.” you mumble, trying not to startle Jungwon. You look to your right, and you see the dreaded car plate that is engraved into your memory. 52 3018. 

You take a quick look at your watch, and it’s like time slows down when you read the time on your watch. 7:07, and there’s 30 seconds until the crash. The car is moving faster and faster towards you and Jungwon, and you know you can’t just yank Jungwon’s arm and pull you both away from the crash.

Your heart sinks as you come to the realisation that it’s either you, or him.

And you can’t lose him again. 

The car moves closer and closer, and you know in just a few seconds, Jungwon’s about to be hit. “Wonie, I’m sorry.” you say hurriedly, blinking back the tears in your eyes before you push him towards the opposite side of the street, out of harm’s way. 

Flashing lights. Loud car honks. And this time, it is your body that the car collided with. 

You fall to the ground, feeling nothing but pain everywhere in your body — you’re bleeding, you’re sure of it. You pant as you lie there, and you hear Jungwon’s loud scream when he realises what just happened to you. “No, no, no.” Jungwon shakes his head as he rushes over to be by your side.

“(Name)? (Name)? Look at me, look at me please.” Jungwon says, his hands clutching yours desperately.

You look up at him weakly, with a small, sad smile. “I’m sorry, Won.” 

“Please don’t leave me, (Name). Just hold on, we’re getting help.” Jungwon says, his lower lip quivering as he holds onto you tightly. His hands are stained with blood, your blood, but he is too focused on your state to notice.

“There’s no use, Jungwon. You and I both know I’m not going to make it out alive.” you choke out, and Jungwon shakes his head. “You’ll make it. I know you will.” he says, and you smile sadly. 

“I know I won’t. Jungwon… I know how this ends. I’m from the future.” you say, and you can feel yourself getting weaker and weaker. “I’m the (Name) from 5 years later. It was originally you who died in this crash. I went back in time to try and save you… but I failed.” 

“Why didn’t you let it be me, (Name)? It should’ve been me.” Jungwon says, holding back a choked sob. “Why?” 

“I couldn’t lose you again.”

“But now I’m losing you.” 

“I know… I’m sorry. I wanted it to end with you and me being able to spend more time together. Fate wasn’t in our favour, I guess.” you say, and Jungwon knows that he’s going to lose you soon. Your breathing is more laboured, and he knows you’re fighting to keep your eyes open, because if you close them, you don’t know if you’ll ever get to open them again.

“You’ll be okay, (Name). You’ll make it.” 

Jungwon says it as if he’s just trying to convince himself. He knows deep in his heart that he’ll be losing you today, and there’s nothing he can do to try and reverse it. But oh, how he wished he could. 

“Can you just… talk to me?” you say, looking at him, tears brimming your eyes. Jungwon squeezes your hand, brushing your hair out of your face — and that is when he realises that your blood is on his hands. 

Tears roll down his cheeks, but he tells himself he shouldn’t start properly sobbing until you go. 

“Okay.” he says. “Today is your birthday. I was going to give you a surprise party. Intak, Youngeun, Hikaru, and all your other friends would be there, and I even got Maeumi a party hat for you.”

You smile at his words. 

“I have plans for tomorrow, too. We’ll go to the Han River, have a picnic, and watch a movie on my iPad. We could walk Maeumi at the park, too.” 

Jungwon pulls one tiny box out of his pocket. “This is your birthday gift, he tells you, opening the box. There are two silver rings inside, and Jungwon pulls one of them out.

“I got us promise rings.” he says, and your smile gets wider. He slips it onto your finger, and you smile, trying your best to look at it even though you can feel yourself starting to slip away.

“I love you.” he says, blinking back tears. “I always will.” 

“I love you too,” you whisper back, and Jungwon tries his best to smile. He has to be strong in this moment for you. He doesn’t want the last thing you see to be him sobbing. He wants you to feel at peace. 

“I’ll find my way back to you.” Jungwon whispers, bringing your hand up to his face to kiss the promise ring. There’s a small smile on your lips, and then your hand falls limp.

You’re gone.

And that’s when Jungwon completely loses it.

He lets the dam break. He’s crying and screaming like he’s never before. It’s right then when the ambulance arrives, and when the paramedics tell him that he needs to let go, he just drowns out the sound, with the only thing he can hear being his own cries.

Jungwon is forcefully separated from you when one of the paramedics pulls him away from your body, as he kicks, screams and writhes in the man’s grip. The paramedic sets him down on a nearby park bench, patting Jungwon on the back as the boy cries.

“I know no matter what I say, it still won’t take away the pain you are feeling. It’s very hard to lose someone, especially someone who you held very close to your heart.” the paramedic says. “But, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“It was supposed to be me.” Jungwon sobs. “I should’ve been the one who got hit. And now I’ve lost her.” 

“She saved your life. She’s a hero.” the paramedic tells him.

“I thought we would have more time together. It’s her birthday today. Or… was.” Jungwon chokes out through sobs. You’re gone now, so he supposed that he has to refer to you in past tense. But he doesn’t want to. “We were going to her surprise party that I organised for her.”

“I’m sure she would have loved it.” the paramedic tells him.

“I wish she could’ve seen it.” Jungwon says, wiping his tears with his sleeve. He then notices that your blood is still on his hands, and his sobs get even louder.

The paramedic pats his back in an attempt to comfort him. “You’ll be okay, kid. You’ll be okay.” 

Despite what the paramedic says, Jungwon feels like he won’t be okay. 

He doesn’t know if he ever will be.

THREE. present day, 2027.

“Happy birthday, Jungwon!” 

It has been 6 years since you left. Jungwon has never liked his birthday celebrations after your passing, only indulging in them because his friends spent so much time preparing it all for him.

“Thank you guys.” Jungwon says, mustering up a smile.

Intak tells him to blow out his candles. “Make a wish!” 

Jungwon wishes for you to come back.

It has been his wish every single year since your passing. Yet, every single year, it doesn’t seem to come true. Jungwon knows that he should move on — it’s what you would have wanted, but he finds that he can’t.

Every hour, every minute, every second, his mind is consumed with the thought of you. Wondering if he can bring you back, thinking about all the fun things that you two could do if you were still here, and praying to whoever’s up there to take pity on him, and bring you back.

“I got you a little something, Jungwon.” Intak says, pulling out a gift bag from behind him. He hands it to Jungwon, who accepts it with a small smile. “Thank you, Intak.” he says.

He opens the bag to reveal a box. It’s a necklace, with a butterfly chain necklace. “It was (Name)‘s. I got it for her birthday last year, before she decided to… you know. Go back in time. I figured that you might want it.”

Jungwon looks at the necklace with a sad smile. “She really liked it, didn’t she?” 

“Loved it.” 

“I know every year doesn’t get easier for you,” Intak says, and Jungwon nods. “It doesn’t get easier for us either. We didn’t know she had this whole plan to bring you back… until she wa gone. And I say this every year, but you’ve got to stop blaming yourself for her passing.” 

“I know.” Jungwon replies. “It’s hard not to, though.” 

“I get it.” Intak says, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Healing is a process. It takes time.” 

“I got you something too,” Youngeun suddenly pipes up. She pulls out a box from behind her, setting it on the table. She pushes it towards Jungwon, who opens it hesitantly.

There are a bunch of film pictures of you and Jungwon. They look like the one he took back in high school, but since he’s in it, he couldn’t possibly have taken it. 

“You were not the only photographer in high school.” Youngeun says. “These are photos that our lovely Hikaru took of you two. We found her old camera, and then we found these photos and got them developed. Thought you would like to see them.”

Jungwon smiles as he flicks through the photos, each of them bringing him back in time. He sees picture after picture of you looking at him with the brightest smile, your eyes practically sparkling as you gaze at him lovingly. 

Jungwon would give anything to see you look at him like that again. 

Every single year, on not only your birthday but also his, he has blamed himself for your passing. You had gone back in time to try and stop the event that had killed him in the original timeline, but it only led to that event killing you instead. 

He desperately wishes for you to still be here. Every birthday celebration reminds him of the one that he had organised just before your passing, the one that you were mere minutes away from seeing before your life was taken. 

The healthy thing for Jungwon to do is move on. 

So on the 6th anniversary of your death, and also your birthday, Jungwon heads to your grave, holding a small cake in a box and a bouquet of cherry blossoms – your favourite flowers. He sits down on the grass, pulling the photos that Hikaru had taken back in high school out of his bag. 

“It’s been 6 years since you left.” Jungwon says out loud. He hopes you can hear him. “It’s also your birthday.” He opens the box, taking out the cake. He takes a lighter out of his bag, lighting the candle. “Happy birthday, (Name).” 

He sings you the happy birthday song quietly, setting the cake down on the lid of the box. “I miss you. I hope you’re celebrating your birthday happily.” he says, a bittersweet smile on his lips. 

“Every year doesn’t get easier,” he confesses. “Is this how you felt before you had gone back in time to try and save me?” 

He asks a question he knows he won’t get an answer to. 

“I would do anything to bring you back. Maybe I should try what you did. Maybe Hikaru’s pictures can bring me back in time too.” Jungwon says, looking at the picture. The flame on the candle flickers, and for a split second, Jungwon debates on burning one of the photos to see if it can bring him back. 

He stays silent for a little while, staring sadly at your headstone. There’s a bunch of other flowers placed around it, which Jungwon deduces must be from your family and other friends who came earlier. 

Jungwon takes a look at the promise ring on his finger. For a second, the candle on the cake flickers, and for a split second, Jungwon sees a photo being held above a fire, with the picture being slowly burnt away. He blinks quickly a couple of times, and the vision is gone. 

He looks at the candle once again, and then he looks at the picture held in his hands. 

Without a second thought, Jungwon holds the picture above the flame.

The only thought in Jungwon’s mind as he watches the picture burn away is that he hopes that his birthday wish for the past 6 years can come true. 

[beiq2y]

OMG, GOTTA SAY I LOVE UR HC, thank u for that!! would love to see another sae's headcanon from your POV or just sae being whipped in general /jk

HELLO OMGG THANKU SM FOR THIS REQ!! I saw ur reblog and i love ur mind sm?? It was literally exactly what i had in mind for him😭 The moment i saw this i literally dashed to write and i finished this in like an hour at 12am i was so excited stop. Also ik u said headcanons but i couldn’t help myself HE’S SO 😍 hope u enjoy this too!!

————————————————————✰

SAE ITOSHI CUDDLING HEADCANONS¡! ❞

————————————————————✰

————————————————————✰

-> based off my prev sae headcanon here

-> warnings - a bit steamy? Idk they kiss and i describe it HAHAH. Sae is so down bad, also horrible attempts of humour by me

————————————————————✰

; gosh where do i begin,,

; HE IS DEFO AN “i hate everyone but you” TYPA GUY

; he loves lying on top of you, forget whether you’re half or even twice his size, my man will just plop himself on top of u

; he is so done w all his teammates i swear

; absolute MENACE.

; rants about each of his teammates in such detail you wonder how he even managed to focus on football with the time he must’ve spent wishing he could murder his teammates

; he probably rests his face on your chest and when there is that ONE particular teammate, he snuggles his face into the crook of your neck and groans

; pls pat his head and just smile and nod when he does that

; try to defend any of his teammates I DARE YOU.

; “what do you mean that wasn’t really his fault?? Are you implying he doesn’t actually deserve to accidentally stumble into a razor and get his hair shaved off??”

; he can't stay angry at you tho.. he may even actually consider taking that guy off his “top 1000 men i wish would fall into a hole” list

; ANYW PLS SHUT HIM UP I SWEAR

; all it takes is for you to caress his face and a slight kiss on his forehead for my man to completely forget everything gosh

; he blushes. 

; It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve gone through this exact routine, he becomes the same shade as his hair and buries his face in ur neck it’s so cute stop😭

; after a while he does come back to kiss you again tho, but my man is honestly so down horrendous it’s crazy

————————————————————✰

Sae itoshi’s favourite part of the day was when he could finally go home.

Not because he could finally take a nice warm shower or because he could finally get his well-deserved sleep - no, none of that. 

More than anything, it’s because he knew that was where you would be waiting for him.

 You, who would without a doubt be waiting for him on your shared bed, a warm smile flitting across your face when he makes his appearance. You, who would welcome him with open arms, the words “welcome home” sounding like honey to him when they came out of your mouth. And finally you, who made his life just a little bit easier when you were around, his eyes lighting up the moment he spots you. He tries his best not to show it of course, but the way the corners of his lips perk up never fails to escape your gaze, a small giggle falling from your lips.

And with that, sae is quick to be by your side. He holds himself back just the right amount to ensure he doesn’t hurt you with the way he flops onto you. With a deep sigh, he finally lets go off all the tension he’s been holding in, all the stress and pressure dissipating with your touch. 

Well, certainly not all of them that’s for sure. 

He slowly but surely wraps his arms around your body, pulling you close as he snuggles closer to you, while you brace yourself for the worst. 

“Hi love,” he mutters, looking up to face you from where he lies on your chest. “Today wasn’t that bad. Well, it could’ve been better if that idiot-“

Ah, there he goes again. 

His daily venting session.

Maybe it was just a sae itoshi thing, but somehow, without fail, this man always managed to have something new to rant about every. Single. Day.

If it wasn’t guy A it would be guy B. If it wasn’t guy B, it would be guy C, and hell, sometimes it would be all of them. Really, no one was safe from the venomous words of sae itoshi. 

Oh well, everyone but you of course.

But even if you were saved from his harsh words, it didn’t necessarily mean that you particularly enjoyed hearing him rant about others. And as such, you slowly bring your hand up to his face, and with a gentle caress, you relish in the way he almost instantly shuts his mouth, all previous complaints dying down in his throat, his raging flame of anger being reduced to a small simmering flame. 

In a final attempt to put out the fire inside him, you brings your lips to his forehead, the flame instantly reduced to embers. 

However, it isn’t long before another flame surfaces, sae’s cheeks being dusted a bright red as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. It isn’t long before he pushes himself up on his arms however, caging you beneath him as he begins. First, a kiss to the forehead. Second, a small peck of his lips to your right cheek, and then the left. Third, his lips travel to your eyelids, forcing them to close with the gentle touch. And finally, he presses his lips to yours. You can feel yourself slowly melt into him, hands wrapping around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. 

After a while, he pulls away to breathe, all thoughts of his irritating teammates being washed away, replaced with only you, you and you.

————————————————————✰

©beiq2y on tumblr, 2022. pls do not copy or steal my works!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

breathe friend you know tommy is bones in s8, he's not bucks endgame the reliable leaker has literally been clear about that. don't believe anything that psychopath on twitter says, she's literally insane.

oh trust me i don’t believe anything she says lmao

and i know the leaker said that about tommy but tbh that dont mean shit about whether or not they are actually going to fix any of the fuckery they pulled in s7

just because they are allegedly giving tommy the boot doesn’t mean they’re going to actually get their shit together and stop ship baiting us; so like i said until they actually start to give us any indication that they’re going to stop mistreating poc characters for cheap drama and that storylines are actually going to be thought out beforehand rather than thrown together because “ehh, this is good enough” i’m not going to be wasting my time. these shows are meant for entertainment. if i am not being entertained by what’s being done, why am i going to waste my energy on it?

i dont say this to sound snippy or rude, anon, and it is NOT directed at you specifically (and i really hope it doesn’t come across that way i am just bad at emoting through screens 😭😭), i promise, but sometimes it feels like people who try to “talk me off the ledge” in these anonymous asks don’t really look at what i’m actually saying and they jump to the conclusion that i’m just making shit up to panic about, but the fact of the matter is that everything i talked about in that post is something that could feasibly happen… all of buck’s love interests up to this point have not been narratively satisfying; developed or not. so even if tommy does end up going like the leaker said (again not getting my hopes up because things change at the drop of a hat in this business) that doesn’t mean they will actually follow through with queer eddie or that any other potential love interest for buck will be in any way narratively satisfying. i’m not saying i’m closing on buddie, because i will love them and ship them together when my body is six feet under, but after the burning dumpster that was s7 post the cruise ship arc, i don’t have the faith in tim that i had before.

at the end of the day, yes abc is a more accepting and inclusive studio, but it is still that: a studio. a corporation. a money maker. they don’t actually give a fuck about the fans. i have seen time and time again that these shows do this cat and mouse shit with a queer ship and then never follow through, even if one of the characters involved does end up being confirmed queer. maybe it was a little harsh to say that tim is only interested in money, but after how little thought and care he put into last season it’s hard not to feel like he actually cares about the fans who have stuck with this show since the beginning.

i’ve mentioned before that i have stuck with this show for seven years. i have shipped buddie since s2. i witnessed the s4 buildup and subsequent letdown in s5 and 6. I know that was not tim’s fault specifically, that KR and Fox both fucked the show over

but that does not mean that tim won’t also change his mind— we saw evidence of that last minute with all the rewrites that were happening post mid season hiatus with s7. he found out he’s getting another season so he changed the plot of 7b, and if they get a season 9, all the more reason to keep dragging the buddie bait hype along with now true intentions to follow through?

i reslly really reallly wanted to trust tim again especially after the potential he had with the shooting arc in s4, but sometimes it feels like he himself has closed on buddie since then unless it’s done as a last-ditch effort to save the show… again, i’m not saying i think bt is going to be endgame, but just because they aren’t endgame doesn’t mean buddie is and that is what pisses me off. that we will have been waiting for nearly a decade for this ship to go canon, we will have gone through so much hate and vitriol from the bt stans, we have been teased and built up time and time again (even in s7), we have been bait and switched with no satisfactory outcome, and we have been laughed at the entire time, and there is a possibility that none of it will actually pay off, all because some white man gets to call the shots and he’s shown that all he cares about is melodrama and trolling people online to stir up shit.

anyway, i didn’t mean to hijack this post, anon, but i wnated to further expound upon what exactly my point was in my original post, which was not that i believed Bree’s delusions or that the helicopter pilot is buck’s endgame, but that i won’t trust tim to actually go through with anything promising until i start to see actual concrete irrefutable evidence of it.

[nightcolorz]

I am in NEED of more headcanons about Ivan, I'm so in love with the idea

AW OMG YAY!!! Ur in luck because I have so so many Ivan headcanons, so many dude 😭🙏. Thank u for the ask!!! I’m so excited. For ppl coming across this without context for who ivan is: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/754664585129279488/okay-i-swear-last-from-me-tonight-and-no-spoilers?source=share , here ya go. TLDR he is my Armand x Daniel fan kid who was conceived by vampire chronicles canon compliant prince lestat trilogy era vampire clone child means

HEADCANONS!!:

—Armand named his son Ivan to honor his mortal father, and to honor the culture and heritage he associates with him. By naming his son ivan armand vowed to find inspiration in the fierce devotion, love, and protectiveness his father had for him while breaking the cycle of violence and abuse his father introduced him to

—Armand very heavily restricts who is allowed to interact with Ivan, he is VERY weary of anyone being around him extendedly who isn’t him or Daniel. He has a selection of vampires he trusts with Ivan to varying degrees that he composed before he was born, and that list loosens as he ages. Bianca, Alessandra, Benji + Sybelle, Louis, Lestat (selectively), and Fareed and Seth (who handle Ivan’s pediatric care, he has check ups every three months or so), are the only vampires who Armand considers worthy of interacting with Ivan 😭 he’s very over protective

—Ivan didn’t start talking until he was around 6, which Daniel and Fareed thought was probably indicative of a developmental disorder they should screen him for. Armand was very insistent that this was normal and Ivan didn’t have anything wrong with him because “Armand was the same way as a child” (Ivan has autism 💀 and so does Armand). For the majority of his childhood Ivan carried around a communication device to help him with his speech impairments

—When he was young Ivan spawned some inappropriate behaviors from observing the way his vampire parents interact, such as biting ppl as an equivalent for kissing bcus in his household his parents bite each other/share blood bcus they love each other 😭🙏. Which is cute at a glance, but became a problem when Ivan started biting other children to try and communicate that he wants to be friends 💀

—When he was little Ivan had long hair that reached his lower back. Before putting him to bed Armand and Daniel rotated between putting his hair in a braid so that it didn’t tangle while he sleeps.

—Armand goes through hyperfixations like his dads, his longest and most prevailing interests being wolves and video games. He was the type of kid to wear wolf ears and a tail wherever he went, lol. He’s also a major screen addict 💀 his favorite games are Minecraft, Roblox, and five nights at freddy’s

—Ivan is a massive little shit 💀 it doesn’t help that both of his parents encourage him, especially Daniel (he thinks it’s hilarious). Armand is an enabler 💀💀. When he was little Armand used to bring Ivan to Vampire court meetings and have him sit on his lap while he played on his iPad, just for convenience and so that he didn’t have to leave him in someone else’s care, since Daniel usually attended meetings with him. He had to stop doing this when Ivan started talking at 6 bcus he’d end up interrupting meetings to run his mouth and make fun of vampires that armand complained about at home😭. Poor lestat couldnt get a word in without this seven yr old ginger boy making fart sounds whenever he spoke 💀.

—Armand raised Ivan as a Protestant Christian. Armand retains the healthy and comforting aspects of his faith and religious values post canon (in my heart), and he hopes to share the comfort and importance he finds in God with his son in an empowering and healthy way (and undue any generational religious trauma in the process ‼️). Armand tried taking Ivan to church in his early childhood but Ivan was too sensorily overwhelmed by the environment for it to work out, so Armand teaches Ivan his faith at home by reading a kid’s bible to him at bed time and doing nightly prayers, telling him that Jesus loves him, stuff like that.

—Armand was a suppperr overprotective parent, and he had an incredibly intense (trauma based) anxiety about someone harming Ivan or taking advantage of him while he’s a vulnerable child. This *heavily* influenced his parenting, which became a problem bcus the prevailing fear and anxiety that Armand let inform all of his actions began to affect Ivan and cause him to take on some of that social anxiety and paranoia during his childhood. Daniel had to have a lot of talks with Armand about this 🙏 and Armand is eventually able to work through it, but it’s pretty bad for a while

—Daniel is a good contrast to Armand when it comes to parenting. He’s lighthearted and chill, and is a very positive relaxing presence in Ivan’s life. It’s very important to Daniel that Ivan get to experience the typical, classic childhood trademarks Daniel grew up with, which can sometimes be hard to access bcus of his unique circumstances. But Daniel still finds away <3. He teaches Ivan to ride a bike, takes him to theme parks, gets him cheesy decorations and a cake with candles for his birthday parties, takes him on night time beach trips, stuff like that lol.

—Armand wanted to keep Ivan homeschooled for his whole life but Daniel insisted he start going to school when he turned ten so that he can interact with other children and learn to be social and independent from his parents. Armand obliged, and sent him to a private, small, high priced Catholic school, in fear that smth less sheltered and prestigious would be too much. Ivan quickly started to get badly bullied in school, and Armand freaked out and insisted that they need to pull him out of school. Daniel and him had a big argument, Daniel saying that cutting off Ivan from the world anytime he faces adversity is going to ruin him in adulthood. They can’t come to a comprise, and so Ivan is given the finale say, and decides to go back to home schooling. He only goes back to school when he turns fourteen, and tells his parents that he’d like to try public school so that he can get to have the normal teenager experience. Needless to say he has an interesting time 💀 Obviously being the homeschooled, extremely wealthy and socially isolated genetic clone son of a vampire makes it pretty hard for Ivan to relate to other children, but he is able to find his own flock of weirdos, and by adulthood Ivan is a thriving social butterfly.

—Ivan inherited Armand’s artistic talent and passion. The type of art he makes is very different though, lol. He draws a lot of animals (he’s a bit of a furry), and he is rlly into creating characters and making up stories with his art. He gets into animation in his teen years

—Ivan has pretty bad sensory issues, especially when it comes to sound, so he often carries his noice canceling head phones with him

—Armand fixated on child safety when he becomes a parent and took some pretty strict measures when it came to trying to protect Ivan. When he found out about online grooming and online pedophile circles he vowed to very thoroughly go through all of Ivan’s devices once a month. Ivan doesn’t like this 💀 particularly bcus of his love for raunchy wattpad mafia boss romances 😭. Thankfully for Ivan, Armand knows from experience that their r worse ways for a teenager to explore his sexuality then reading shitty erotic online, and if he happens to come across any smutty writing in Ivan’s history he will tasteful ignoring it🙏

—Raising Ivan caused Armand uncover a lot of repressed childhood memories (some good, some traumatic). One of the good ones was the memory of the song Armand’s mother used to sing to him and his siblings to soothe them. Armand starts singing this song to Ivan when he cries as a baby, and it heals a part of him to feel that connection to his mother after so long.

—When Ivan gets older he starts gaining interest in reading the vampire chronicles, which Armand is very adamantly against. When he reaches the age where Armand can’t exactly stop him from reading anything, Ivan tries reading the vampire armand, but he doesn’t get past the beginning because he finds it too nauseating to read about those things happening to his father.

—Daniel struggles with knowing that Ivan will never rlly have an extended family. He mourns that his parents will never know their grandson, and sometimes wonders what they would think of him

—As a rite of passage, on his fifteenth birthday Daniel gifts Ivan his favorite leather jacket when he was a young man. Ivan feels so cool in it that he wears it nearly everyday of freshman year.

—When Ivan reaches the point in puberty that Armand never did and starts to deviate significantly from him in appearance Armand is shocked by how much Ivan starts to resemble his namesake. When Ivan grows into an adult he is stocky and thick, and he wears his hair long with his natural curls, and has a pretty nice beard. He looks like a modern day gay Viking lol

—As a teenager Ivan goes through a rebellious phase and starts having a bunch of unhealthy, volatile relationships, in response to how restrictive and isolating his upbringing was. It scares the ever loving shit out of armand. At some point Ivan had a short lived relationship with an older man, which was quickly cut off by Armand and Daniel finding out and very violently killing him 😭. This prompted the end of Ivan’s rebellious streak

—Armand was concerned that Ivan would begin to crave the dark gift and resent Armand for refusing to turn him, but thankfully that never happened. Like any child, Ivan grew up finding his parents pretty lame, and so he didn’t have much of a reason to envy vampirism 💀. He always said he preferred werewolves

i could go on, but I’m going to end my list here haha, sorry for how long it is he’s literally my favorite guy. Thank u sm for the ask ur interest means a ton to me and as u can probably tell, I had a blast writing this ❤️

[kingkatsuki]

Hello Jo! Sorry I’ve been MIA, had to take a Tumblr break. How have you been? What’s the weather like across that big blue sea?

I had some Bakugou thoughts to shout at you if that’s okay! (Hopefully no one’s come up with them while I’ve been gone…if so, just ignore ope)

Imagining you, the one he’s been hardcore crushing on/been in love with, being besties with a lot of the MHA gals. (You can decide how.) But y’all have this group chat where you all talk about the raunchiest shit. You’re just very relaxed with each other and comfortable with talking about just about anything. Including smexy stuff. Which is why when one of the dudes (probably Kaminari) thought he had struck gold when he somehow managed a way to sneak in.

He’s excitedly showing off the convo to all of the other guys the next time they get together, hooting and hollering over how dirty y’all can be. And poor Bakugou looks like he’s about to combust, reading through some of the things you’ve written. Squirming in his seat, his face and ears bright red as he’s reading how desperately horny you’ve been, how you’re needing cock so bad, how you wish you could just get bent over something and get your brains fucked out of your pretty lil’ head

Bonus points if it’s virgin!Bakugou we’re talking about. He has zero experience with any of this stuff, but after reading what you’re into…he’s all pent up now too. And he’s ready and willing to learn.

It’s okay my lovely! It’s good to see you back! I hope you’re doing okay?💕 I’m really good thanks and the weather is finally getting a little warmer but the evenings are still bloody freezing!😭

I love the idea of a girls groupchat where you can just dump all your stupid sex stories, pick up line conversations or just weird dating app matches. And of course the guys know about this chat and want in! Or even just a little peek at it, especially when Denki caught the sight of a selfie Mina sent one evening asking what lingerie set black or purple.

And of course the moment the guys actually get access they’re acting like kids at Christmas, all of them trying to snatch the phone off each other to search keywords in the chat (and by keywords I mean their own names😭) and Bakugou is trying to act like he doesn’t care, telling Denki he’s fucking dumb for getting so excited about violating everyone’s privacy and especially over such frivolous conversation— and that’s when Denki starts reading out your messages. The whole things ridiculous really, Denki’s now put on an awful attempt at your accent, a few pitches higher than you speak as he reads out the last message you posted about how desperate you are to wrap your thighs around someone’s head and how your vibrator just isn’t cutting it anymore. And Bakugou can’t cope, he’s now sat there bright red with a raging hard on as Denki continues to scroll, “Oh shit— she posted selfies too—”

And the moment he says that Bakugou’s on him like a cheetah on a grazing antelope. Palms sparking as he wrestles for the phone, unsure whether it’s the desire to see the pictures or the desperation to make sure Denki’s disgusting eyes don’t get a glimpse of you in such a promiscuous position.

And Bakugou can’t lie, he’s got no idea what pronebone is, or why a guy found it so difficult to find your clit (how hard could it be? Even if he doesn’t know where it is himself—), but now all he can think about is your pretty face writhing beneath him as he lines himself up with your tight, wet heat.

“Fuck,” He grunts, standing up from the sofa, Denki’s cellphone secured in one of his hands as he rubs the other over his sweaty face. His boxers sticking to his thigh uncomfortably as he came in his pants like a randy teenager at the mere thought of you naked.

The next thing he’s doing is googling what every position you mentioned is, and imagining you in every single one of them while he fists his cock.

[rawbin-hsr]

The previous anon articulated it so well bc I just saw what they're talking about and I'm honestly confused why they thought u were saying anything wrong like 😭😭 are we sure we have the same guy here? Aventurine while yes knows what being loved feels like, he's gone through enough things and changes in life that that little frame of reference won't serve him well, especially within a romantic context bc he doesn't have ANY reference.

I read what you wrote as him not really meaning to (even reread) and yeah, he wouldn't Purposely want to be abusive to his romantic partner, but it still borders on it. What a lot of ppl get wrong is that, emotional abuse doesn't have to always mean the perpetrator is fully aware of it themself.

Maybe bc I myself have bpd, but it's so easy to see. When someone's avoiding negative feelings they have about themself (jealousy, insecurity etc) they can easily externalize this blame (and for him, that's so much more likely, it's literally a defense mechanism) or even, projecting his own view of himself on how you view him only to end up upset. (And then, the random clinginess that comes after this pushing away, why would it happen if not for trying to convince you to stay even though what he keeps doing is generally not a good thing to do in a relationship?) He wouldn't have known healthy attachment, didn't grow up with a safety net to be comfortable with that, hell, he thinks people closest to him (in canon) are sort of "tolerating" him. Are we really surprised?

Like, you never said aventurine is doing it with intent or even awareness bc yea he isn't!! He'd realize some of his actions sure, but stuff like "pushing you away" is probably shit he genuinely considers good for you, and it's not even like completely wrong he's in a high and risky position. Doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt like a mf, and I think that's the biggest tragedy of it all, because he doesn't fully realize how bad his actions are from another pov, and it's not like a single Convo can get him to understand that.

Anyway, sorry that was a lot more incoherent than I thought and I was firmly stating a lot of things bc I can pull up stuff to back my claim but ALSO bc they pissed me off if u don't like something just scroll I've been doing that for years on this app I never felt the need to go yell at someone bc I don't agree with how they interpret a character 😒😒😒😒 I hope ur feeling better, rsd sucks ass I always get so overwhelmed whenever I experience it but ur intent came across very clearly actually dw

I’m literally in tears I’m so grateful multiple people are taking the time to reassure me thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹 I was really doubting myself and my own take on him, it makes me feel so relieved I’m not the only one who has this specific take on him haha I was lowkey worrying I was a terrible person for a moment there 😭

And yes, exactly !!!! I think you were very coherent in this, in fact I think you formulated what I meant to say better than I did 😭😭 Like there’s a lot, a LOT of nuance to it !!! He never does it out of malice. He just doesn’t know any better. He tries to do what’s right and what’s best for you, he’s just… kind of not good at that because his whole perspective is skewed.

I do still think they were right that I shouldn’t have used the word ‘abuse’. It’s a very loaded term, and I think abuse requires a power dynamic, which is something I think he would try to eliminate in a relationship. Like, yes, he is a powerful man and he sort of needs some leverage to stay in control (of both his own life and his relationship with you), but I think he fucking hates the idea of being “above you” in any way. (Though to be fair he still could unintentionally create an uneven power dynamic — he’s the one mostly in charge of when the two of you interact. I think he loathes himself even more when he realises that.) I think it would be best to stick to the word “toxic” because it feels most fitting from my pov

[gunilslaugh]

Heyo! Nice to meet you!

I've been a villain for a few months now and I just confess, I like Gunil so so much! He instantly became one of my favorite kpop boys since I began stanning. (He's just my type, what a unique and incredible man!) Originally I wanted to request around for more Gunil fics... But honestly I have no idea what to request specifically 😭 I just want to read more about him cuz my crush is big and fat 😂 but I racked my brains and couldn't come up with anything...

So instead, I've had this idea for an OT6 fluff, if it's alright with you! How would XH react to having a very smart and academical s/o? Like, someone who likes to read a lot (not only fiction, but also nonfiction, like science, psychology, philosophy, spiritual books or stuff about social studies) and who genuinely likes studying and learning! They like doing research on many many subjects of their interest (wether those are something as common as space or not so common like learning the biology of marine animals) and they're always spewing out random interesting facts about things 😂 Bonus points if reader also likes solving mysteries and playing puzzle games some people might find boring ( like crosswords or sudoku).

Yes, this is pretty self indulgent 😂 but I'm also just very curious 👀

You are totally entitled to refuse this request if you don't feel like writing it! No pressure 😁 🖤

Nice to meet you too! Welcome to the fandom. I hope that you enjoy your request.

All member ;^o-o^;

Summary: Xdinary Heroes' reaction to having an academic significant other.

WC:684

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil

Gunil really admires how academically driven you are. Thinks it’s cool how knowledgeable you are. If you're knowledgeable across many varying topics then he would call you a human encyclopedia. He gets really happy whenever you talk or rant about a subject that really interests you. When you tell him a random fact he actually tries to note down the information and remember it. Loves to watch mystery or detective shows with you while trying to figure out who the culprit is together. On the chance that he figures it out before you or he was right and you were wrong he feels very entitled to his bragging rights. 

Jungsu

On cold days he always makes sure that you’re wearing a beanie or that your hood on your jacket is up because you gotta protect that smart brain of yours. Jungsu would love to do crossword puzzles or other games like it with you. The members would tease you about being an old couple, but Jungsu would just shoo them away. Jungsu would try to learn some about your favorite topic so that he could talk about it with you. He’d write down the random facts that you tell him in his notes and at the end of the year he’d compile them all together. Almost like a scrapbook of memories, but with all the random facts you’ve told him.

Gaon/Jiseok

You were ranting to Jiseok about a topic that interested you. He jokingly told you that if you like it that much then you should create a slideshow presentation about it. It definitely caught him off guard when three days later you showed him the slideshow. He doesn’t tell you, but he now has it saved on his computer. Lovingly calls you a nerd. Really likes to watching sci-fi shows together with you. Sometimes there is part of him that wished he had the drive that you have about learning new things. He would tease you about playing a game like solitaire, but in reality he doesn’t even know or understand how to play.

O.de/Seungmin

Seungmin treasures how dedicated you are when it comes to learning about something. He thinks you are absolutely adorable as you’re hyper fixated on your laptop, researching a particular subject. Takes candid photos of you researching, might make one his wallpaper. Laughs whenever you randomly spew out a fact, not in a mean way of course. Your random fact spewing brightens his day. Especially if it’s something completely random like shrimps hearts are located in their head. Avidly watches mystery type shows with you and might end up being the more invested one funnily. 

Junhan/Hyeongjun

Junhan would love to have in-door dates where the two of you just read together. Sitting on opposite ends of the couch with your legs flailed across one another. Sometimes uses you as his personal internet. If he has a question about something he thinks you would know he’d rather ask you than actually look it up. Would try to race you in completing a sudoku the fastest. He really values your smarts and thinks that it’s really impressive how much wide scale information you have stored in your brain. He would send you things on topics that he found interesting and loves when you do the same back. 

Jooyeon

You’re not just any nerd, you are his nerd. When you randomly state a fact he would respond with a “that is something only a nerd would know,”. Even if he teases you about it he still likes whenever you do it. If it’s been a while since you randomly told you a fact he’ll ask you to tell him one. Honestly his day doesn’t feel complete without it. He would really enjoy having a sci fi, mystery themed movie night. You two would turn off all the lights and huddle together under blankets. Occasionally he wishes that he was as academic as you because he thinks it would be nice to research things together, but if he has no interest his brain refuses to hold new information.

[merakiui]

idk if this ask went through previously because tumblr crashed as i tried to send it in, so i'm gonna just resend it 🫶 i apologize if you get duplicate asks in your inbox about this!!

i've been thinking about yan trey after you mentioned him and jade tag-teaming a darling (´▽｀*)

he'd just be so good at slipping something into your drink at a party, using paint the roses to mask the flavor of it, and his nice-guy persona is the perfect cover for whisking you away somewhere a bit more private! nobody would suspect a thing, not even you, because he just doesn't seem like 'that kind' of guy 😭

he also strikes me as the type to gently mold his darling into what he considers to be 'ideal'! be it the way you dress, act, anything really; he's patient and good at playing the long game, so i think it'd be a piece of cake (haha) for him!

(i've also been thinking about yan jade and trey tag-teaming a darling 😭💗💗 they're both quite similar in rationale, though trey has a little less of a predator vs prey mindset and actively tries to come across as trustworthy and kind, whereas jade has no problem with revealing a darker side to tilt a situation in his favor. idk i just think their dynamic in regards to a darling would be super fun!!)

Omg yes!!! He has this very reliable older sibling type of vibe—something you just can’t help but trust and rely on because he’s always so kind, caring, and helpful. There’s no way he could ever do something as dubious as slipping something into a dessert he’s prepared for you. With his unique magic, it makes hiding what he’s done so incredibly easy. There won’t be any suspicion from you because you trust him, and if he’s worried you might taste something off in the dessert he can just twirl his magic pen and change the flavor under the guise of being innocently playful. But when you do start to succumb to the effects of whatever he put in your food, he’ll be there to offer assistance. It’s almost too quick and smooth the way he sidles up next to you and wraps an arm around you to help you stand and walk to a more secluded area so that the two of you won’t interrupt the unbirthday party. 

You’ll probably see him as your older sibling because that’s really how he acts around everyone. It’s just in his nature to be protective and caring because he looks after his little siblings. Of course being in the brother zone stings and he’s not even sure if he’d prefer the friend zone over it, but at least that means you’ll see him as harmless, sweet Trey. He doesn’t stand out very much, he’s always polite, and he’s so patient and resourceful when it comes to dealing with problems. Obviously he’s just a good person all around!

Along with molding his darling into his ideal type, I think Trey accomplishes this by easing you into very domestic situations with him. When he asks if you’d lend him a hand in the kitchen, it’ll really feel like you’re lovers baking together, the way he carefully ties an apron around you, the way he teasingly swipes flour from your cheek, the way he stands so close, nearly pinning you to the countertop, while he reaches over to turn the next page in the recipe book. Or when you spend the night at Heartslabyul with Ace and Deuce and he’s there to offer you an extra blanket or a pillow if you need it, even going so far as to offer a spare set of nightclothes if you require them. And the way his clothes fit on you if you wear them... It makes him think of how nice it would be to spend Sunday mornings with you in a nice house where the two of you are married and you’re in his shirt and he’s in his trousers and the two of you sit to admire the rising sun with coffee or tea and pastries...

Trey and Jade pining for the same darling is so fun because Jade loves unexpected situations, so when he learns that Trey also fancies you he becomes even more competitive just to see what Trey might do. Jade might even try to make Trey jealous if he’s actively attempting to push every button Trey has in hopes of getting an amusing reaction. They do have similar aspects! They’re both observers, and they know how to seamlessly diffuse situations and how to do things that will benefit them at the end of the day. It’s such a good dynamic!! Trey can use your trust of him to his advantage, while Jade can use his amiable, gentlemanly façade to lull you into a false sense of security. That, and intimidation, blackmail threats, perhaps even the completion status of your contract if you’ve signed one. You think Trey might rescue you if you find yourself cornered by Jade, but imagine how betrayed you would feel if you realize he isn’t going to do anything to dispel this situation when he looks at you with an apologetic, bashful smile that doesn’t pair well with the lust in his eyes.