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todomitoukei · 4 years ago

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Japanese vs. English Todoroki - A 301 Comparison

Finally, for the first time since this manga has begun - and it only took 300 chapters to get here - we get an entire chapter that is solely about the Todoroki family! As I read through the chapter and started to type down the Japanese text, I asked myself which scenes I should translate. And so here we are with me having translated every single line. With that, this is a long post. Long. You have been warned. So let’s get right into it:

The chapter starts out with a flashback to Endeavor speaking with Rei’s father to get his approval to marry Rei:

「次期No.1の呼び声高いエンデヴァー様からお声掛けいただけるとは夢にも思いませんでした！僥倖の極みにございます！！」

「次期 ; jiki 」-> next term

「No.1 ; nanbaa wan 」-> number one

「呼び声高い ; yobigoe takai 」-> being widely talked about as a prominent prospect (for)

「エンデヴァー様 ; endevaa sama 」-> Endeavor-Sama

「から ; kara 」-> from

「お声掛け ; okoegake 」-> greeting; approaching (someone)

「いただける ; itadakeru 」-> receive (potential form)

「とは ; to wa」-> adds emphasis to the prior word/phrase

「夢にも思いませんでした ; yume ni mo omoimasen deshita 」-> I never dreamed that; not in one’s wildest dreams

「僥倖 ; gyoukou 」-> good fortune

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「極み ; kiwami 」-> height; extremity

「に ; ni 」-> at

「ございます ; gozaimasu 」-> to be

= “I never dreamed that we would receive greetings from Endeavor-Sama, who is widely talked about as a prominent prospect for the next term’s Number One position. We are at the height of good fortune!!”

It’s kinda sad if the height of your good fortune is meeting Endeavor. I also wonder how he reached out to them? “Hi, I need a wife with an ice quirk, do you have one?” How did he even search them? Is there some kind of registry that tells you which family has which quirk?

Anyway, we then learn a little about Rei’s family:

「氷叢もかつては名家と呼ばれた由緒ある家柄にございます故―

トップヒーロー様の伴侶としましては充分に釣り合いがとれるものと。。。」

「氷叢 ; himura 」-> Himura

「も ; mo 」-> also

「かつて ; katsute 」-> once; before; formerly

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「名家 ; meika 」-> noble family; distinguished family

「と呼ばれた ; to yobareta 」-> was called

「由緒ある ; yuisho aru 」-> prestigious; with a long history

「家柄 ; iegara」-> social standing of a family; lineage

「に ; ni 」-> from

「ございます ; gozaimasu 」-> to be

「故 ; yue 」-> reason; cause; circumstances

「トップヒーロー様 ; toppu hiro sama 」-> Top Hero-Sama

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「伴侶 ; hanryo 」-> spouse

「としまして ; to shimashite 」-> to take as

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「充分に ; juubun ni 」-> sufficient; enough (the ni turns this word into an adverb)

「釣り合い ; tsuriai 」-> balance

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「とれる ; toreru 」-> to be attained (of balance)

「ものと ; mono to 」-> shall; to assume; understood as

= “The Himura family was also once called a noble family. It’s a lineage with a long history - so to take her as a top hero’s spouse shall be a sufficiently attained balance.”

Something I would like to note here is something that is difficult to properly translate, which is the politeness level. There are a lot of different politeness levels to show the different social ranks. We don’t know how Rei’s father normally speaks, but he probably talks politely here to show respect to a top hero, which also makes this seem more like a business deal rather than a familiar conversation with your future father-in-law.

Anyway, we then get a little bit of narration from Endeavor:

「氷のような女だった」

「氷 ; koori 」-> ice

「のような ; no you na 」-> similar to; like

「女 ; onna 」-> woman

「だった ; datta 」-> was

= “She was a woman like ice.”

Ah, the classic “this woman doesn’t immediately worship me so she has no feelings” attitude. Not that I can say that I’m surprised he’d say something like that. And look at her. She looks so unhappy! Why are there people reading this chapter and claiming that this wasn’t a forced marriage when she looks like that? She clearly didn’t truly want this herself. This is also confirmed in the next line:

「“個性婚”である事も承知の上で。。。。。。家の為に俺の妻になると言う。」

「個性婚 ; koseikon 」-> quirk marriage

「である ; de aru 」-> is; be

「事 ; de aru koto 」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「も ; mo 」-> also

「承知の上で ; shouchi no ue de 」-> being aware of; taking something into account

「家 ; ie 」-> family

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「為に ; tame ni」-> for the sake of

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「妻 ; tsuma 」-> wife

「になる ; ni naru 」-> to become

「と言う ; to iu」-> to say

= “She is also aware that this is a quirk marriage... she says she will become my wife for the sake of her family.”

De aru is a formal way used to express that someone is explaining something and makes it a neutral, official-sounding statement.

It’s not entirely clear to me how she knows that this is a quirk marriage, though. Did Endeavor just tell her? Did he tell her father? Does she just know?

It still leaves me baffled how some people read this sentence and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a forced marriage just because she agreed to it. I’m actually kind of sensing a pattern here: first, we learn that Rei agreed to have more children, so people claimed she wanted to have all these kids with him. Now, she apparently wanted to marry him out of her own will. I cannot stress this enough, but please please understand that if you do something “for the sake of your family” or generally for the sake of someone else, it doesn’t mean you actually want it yourself. If you live your life basing your decisions on what makes the people around you happy, you will not be happy. It’s one thing to be selfless, but another to never live for your own sake.

The only reason Endeavor decided to have a wife, specifically Rei, was for his own selfish goals. And the only reason Rei agreed, despite knowing she was being heavily objectified and reduced to her quirk here, was to please her family. However, this in no way indicates what her true feelings are.

「。。。花が好きか」

「花 ; hana 」-> flowers

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「好き ; suki 」-> to like

「か ; ka 」-> question marker particle

= “... Do you like the flowers?”

A pretty straight-forward sentence.

「はい。とても綺麗。」

「はい ; hai 」-> yes

「とても ; totemo 」-> very

「綺麗 ; kirei 」-> pretty; beautiful; lovely

= “Yes. They’re very pretty.”

Can I just say that she looks so sad here? There is something very lonely about her expression and the way she looks at these flowers. I’ve mentioned it before in another post, but the flowers Rei likes so much are Rindou, and the meaning of them is “I love you who is sad”, “justice”, or “sincere; faithful” - this would probably be more something to talk about in a separate meta on Rei, but I think maybe she identifies with those flowers in a way? She doesn’t seem happy - and granted, who would be in her situation? Maybe her whole life has been sort of dictated by her family and about pleasing them instead of ever being truly happy. These flowers are a common theme in terms of their relationship, so it’s likely that here, she is the one who is sad and maybe she just wants to be loved despite knowing this marriage isn’t based on love. She might still be hopeful that it will turn into love eventually and for now, she just enjoys the thought that someone might love someone as sad and unhappy as her.

「強く。。。しかし触れれば溶けて消えてしまいそうな。。。」

「強く ; tsuyoku 」-> strong

「しかし ; shikashi 」-> however

「触れれば ; furereba 」-> to touch; to come in contact with (conditional form)

「溶けて ; tokete 」-> to melt

「消えて ; kiete 」-> ; to vanish

「しまい ; shimai 」-> to do something completely

「そうな ; souna 」-> it seems

= “Strong… however, she seems like she would completely melt and vanish if I touched her.”

Then… don’t. Anyway, as mentioned in other posts, a verb + shimau means either that something that was done was regrettable or that it was done completely. Shimai is the polite version of this same concept. Back to the present:

「冷。。。！おまえ。。。大丈夫。。。なのか」

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「なのか ; nanoka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

= “Rei…! You… are you alright?”

The no itself is already a question marker, but men often add ka to it to make it more ~manly~

「大丈夫じゃないよ」

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「じゃない」-> am not

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “I’m not alright!”

I’m not sure what kind of answer he expected, to be honest, but I think we can all appreciate Rei here. The official translation did a good job capturing that emphasis of yo by having her say “Okay? No, I’m not.” which bolds her statement a little more.

「だから来たの」

「だから ; dakara 」-> that’s why

「来た ; kita 」-> came; arrived

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

= “That’s why I came.”

Other people have already pointed out how this line is similar to All Might’s catchphrase, which is 「私が来た」 - watashi ga kita. Obviously, she doesn’t say that exact line - although that would have been absolutely hilarious to see, just imagine you see your wife after ten years of her being in a mental hospital because of you and your obsession with your rival only for her to quote your rival’s catchphrase at you? Iconic! Anyway, it still has that same feeling to it.

Another thing worth noting is how much her expression here differs from the earlier flashbacks.

The panel of her looking at the flowers is a high-angle shot, which is used to make the subject seem inferior and looked down on. Additionally, that shot is from Endeavor’s POV, which is to give us a sense to show us how he viewed her - inferior. He is the hero and he is the one planning on using her to gain more power for himself. He made the decision to get a wife and thus initiated this whole relationship.

In this panel, though, we look at her with an eye-level shot. This is a neutral perspective, so it’s neither a superior or inferior situation, but there is still a specific atmosphere being created, usually done to make the viewer connect with the character and sort of having the character’s emotions be projected onto the viewer, especially in uncomfortable scenarios. To intensify this, we are staring directly at her. In the flashback, she is also turned to the side, so we don’t see her full face. Instead, she is avoiding eye contact and instead, is looking down at the flowers. Showing a character from the side creates a distance and makes it less clear what the character truly thinks.

But here, she is fully facing the viewers and staring directly at us. As mentioned before, this angle is meant to make you feel what the characters feel, especially when there’s an uncomfortable atmosphere. So here, when she says “That’s why I came” it’s supposed to make you uncomfortable. The “I am not alright” isn’t because her supposedly dead son turned out to be alive and a villain - she is not alright because of all the pain each of them endured for the past decade because of Endeavor. She lost ten years of her life, precious time with her kids, missed seeing them grow up, because of him. She wasn’t able to be there for them because of him. So no, she is not alright. But now she is out. And now she can finally regain some power. Power she never had in this relationship and possibly never had in her whole life. But now she is here. She is here because she feels guilty for what happened to her son, but she isn’t going to just give up. She is holding herself accountable, but she is making sure Endeavor knows he is the culprit. He is supposed to be uncomfortable and so should you (to understand that Endeavor is not the victim here) and anyone who sees that panel and thinks she is being supportive of him here? She isn’t.

I’ve seen a lot of people either claim that she is supporting Endeavor here or people say that she is being too soft on him here. While I don’t really see how this could possibly be her supporting him, I definitely do agree that Horikoshi seems to avoid wanting anyone directly pointing a finger at Endeavor, which is odd considering throughout the whole story everyone in the Todoroki family has always only ever blamed Endeavor. Dabi made it very clear in his broadcast that he wants to destroy Endeavor, Shouto always blamed Endeavor for his scar and for Rei being in the mental hospital, Natsuo can’t even have one dinner with Endeavor because he has always been neglected by him and because he blames Endeavor for what happened with Touya - rightfully so, by the way, Touya being alive doesn’t exactly change that Endeavor destroyed Touya. And given how Horikoshi writes female characters in general, it’s not really surprising that the only ones who don’t actively speak out against and blame Endeavor are the women of the family.

But while I do think that Horikoshi is toning down on that here and I don’t wanna give him too much credit, we should also keep in mind that this is the first time in ten years that Rei talks to him. Just a few months prior, when Fuyumi and Natsuo visited her, she said that she was still afraid to see him. I think it’s actually more realistic that she isn’t yelling at him or anything like that, yet is still able to at least put him in his place and remind him that this isn’t about him.

And that’s the other reason why I think it makes sense she reacts the way she does. It’s not about him, but this is also not about her. The last line of chapter 300 was saying “I’m here to talk about our family and Touya.” This isn’t about any of them individually except for Touya (more on that later). So if she gave an entire speech here about how much pain Endeavor has caused her and how he took ten years of her life away, this simply isn’t the time. Instead, she is prioritizing Touya.

Could she be a bit more clear that Endeavor is the culprit who caused them all a lot of pain and trauma? Yes, apparently she needs to say this more clearly considering how many people absolutely fail to interpret this correctly by claiming they are a happy family. But it’s not the most unrealistic way to write her here, either.

But let’s move on to Dabi and where the main criticism for the official translation comes in:

「だいぶ焼けたな。。。」

「だいぶ ; daibu 」-> considerably; greatly; a lot

「焼けた ; yaketa 」-> burned

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; usually used to seek confirmation

= “Burned a lot, huh…”

Someone recently pointed out to me that Dabi’s staples might actually just be there for him to check how much his scars are spreading. And that really does seem to be the case now as he has simply moved them to the new edges of the scars. The new burns aren’t yet as intense as the rest, so I guess those aren’t skin grafts that need to be held in place, after all, but just his skin heavily burned?

As mentioned above, na gets used at the end of a statement to seek confirmation, however, it can also be used in a more rhetorical sense to make a sentence less assertive in order to simply introduce a topic in a more casual and less abrupt way.

「何も感じねぇ」

「何も ; nanimo 」-> (not) anything

「感じねぇ ; kanjinee 」-> not feeling

= “I don’t feel anything.”

The normal negation of kanjiru (to feel) is kanjinai. Changing the nai into nee is a more casual form, but it can also be used instead of nai to add more emotion/feeling to what is being said, which is kinda ironic in a sentence talking about his inability to feel anything.

Dabi generally uses both forms (nai and nee) for negation so it’s hard to say if this is just him negating a word or if this form gets used to put more emotion to it, though it’s probably a mixture of both considering he is just lying there and reflecting on the situation.

More importantly, this sentence reminded me of what he said to Shouto in chapter 292 「そうだよ焦凍。兄ちゃん何も感じなくなっちまった。」- “That’s right, Shouto. Nii-Chan has completely stopped feeling anything.”

While the line from chapter 292 is referring to his mental state, he is now talking about his physical state. So basically, Dabi is completely numb - both physically and mentally. Fun times!

「あいつは俺の親父だ。あの程度で死ねるようなタマじゃねえ。例え死にたくても立場がそれを許さない。」

「あいつ ; aitsu 」-> he; that guy

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「親父 ; oyaji 」-> dad

「だ ; da 」-> be

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「程度 ; teido 」-> degree; amount

「で ; de 」-> by; of

「死ねる ; shineru 」-> to die (potential form)

「ような ; youna 」-> like; similar to

「タマ ; tama 」-> person (when commenting on their nature); character

「じゃねえ ; janee」-> isn’t

「例え死にたくても」-> even if you want to die (例え...ても + 死にたく)

「立場 ; tachiba 」-> position; situation

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「許さない ; yurusanai 」-> doesn’t allow

= “That guy is my dad. He isn’t the kind of person to die from something of that degree. Even if he wanted to die, the situation doesn’t allow that.”

A few things to note here:

First of all, and I know this is a big shocker to us all, and it does pain me to say, but he does not say “adios” here. He really just says “want to die” and, although this is such an unimportant change it’s just really annoying to constantly see him being translated in such a weird way. Even minor changes like this one just make him sound strange. Dabi is someone who chooses his words carefully, so it really does alter people’s perception of him when he suddenly starts speaking like that. Does anyone actually talk like that?

“He isn’t the person to die from something of that degree” - Here, Dabi uses “tama” which is usually written in Kanji, but is written in Katakana here for emphasis. More importantly, though, this is a derogatory term.

Anyway, that sentence follows after the obvious statement of “That guy is my dad” - which isn’t new information to us, but this is the reason why he concludes that Endeavor hasn’t died without actually having that confirmed. He is able to tell how much damage Endeavor can take, possibly also stating here that as long as Dabi himself doesn’t die from his attack, Endeavor also wouldn’t have died. So much for his self-confidence! The “dear old dad” in the official translation yet again sounds a bit odd. It might be used to make a more clear distinction between otousan and oyaji, but much like boku and ore (male pronouns), you don’t really need to make a distinction in English because it’s just something unique to Japanese, and trying to translate it results in something like “dear old dad” which just makes the character sound weird because no one says that in English.

“The situation doesn’t allow it” - while the fan translation went for “I won’t allow it” the official translation went for “His position won’t allow it” - all of which are different statements. It’s hard to determine which of these is correct since there isn’t a pronoun used here. The reason I went for “the situation” is because it seems like he is referring to the current state the country is in. We’ve already been shown how much damage has done and the “I am not here” statue shown in the previous chapter is a good summary of that. Although it’s unlikely that Endeavor could do much to make things go back to how they used to be before the reveal, the country is still waiting for his statement, which will further impact the situation. If he died now, it would probably be the end for heroes, whereas him being alive and trying to somehow save the country could bring a little hope back to the people. So basically, the future depends on him (not really, but that’s the general idea here).

「そろそろ表に出てくる頃合いだ。」

「そろそろ ; sorosoro」-> gradually; soon

「表 ; omote 」-> surface

「に ; ni 」-> to

「出てくる ; detekuru 」-> to come out; to appear

「頃合い ; koroai 」-> suitable time; good time

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Soon it’s a good time to come to the surface.”

Much like the rest of the country, Dabi is clearly also awaiting Endeavor’s statement to the public so he can plan his next move.

Something to note here is that these two panels use the thinking speech bubbles, so we have two different kinds of internal monologues from Dabi in this scene: interior monologue and soliloquy. Soliloquy refers to a speech given to oneself out loud, which is why this is commonly found in plays in order to show what a character is thinking since you can’t make the audience hear the character’s thoughts otherwise.

An interior monologue gives us readers immediate access to a character’s unfiltered thoughts. Since we don’t exactly control our thoughts, we often jump from one thought to another without explaining how we got there. So when Dabi thinks “That guy is my dad.” followed by “He isn’t the kind of person to die from something of that degree.” - he doesn’t have to go into an elaborate explanation as to why the second sentence is the conclusion of his first statement because he just knows.

A soliloquy isn’t too different as the character is still their own audience. However, this style is often used to amplify a character’s thoughts, in a way signaling that they can’t keep their thoughts inside anymore so instead they just come out of the character’s mouth. Using these two styles here emphasizes the soliloquy even further. While his interior monologue is a reflection of what happened and tells us that Dabi already knew he wasn’t going to kill Endeavor back then, the soliloquy part focuses more on his actual feelings. This last part of his interior monologue, where he concludes that Endeavor will have to face the public soon, serves as a trigger of his following excitement, highlighting his obsession with making his dreams of ruining Endeavor come true.

「早く惨めな面が見てぇ楽しみだ。ここまで長かった。」

「早く ; hayaku 」-> soon; quick (adverb)

「惨めな ; mijime na 」-> miserable

「面 ; men 」-> face; mask

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「見てぇ ; mitee 」-> to see

「楽しみ ; tanoshimi 」-> anticipation; looking forward to

「だ ; da 」-> be

「ここまで ; koko made 」-> so far

「長かった ; nagakatta 」-> was long (time)

= “I’m looking forward to seeing your miserable face soon. It’s been a long time so far.”

Here we have another case of the official English translation making him talk in ways no one talks. Aside from the “pathetic mug” part, Dabi doesn’t say “damn” - considering swear words aren’t really a thing in Japanese anyway. But he’s also generally not really talking in a rude way here, it’s just a pretty straight-forward sentence. To be honest, I think the reason why certain characters (i.e. Dabi) get written like that™ is to add character and distinguish them from less casual-speaking characters? To show that this is a character that’s a bit on the rougher side? Even so, he doesn’t actually talk like that, and trying to make him sound rough in every single sentence is a bit of an overkill. I get that he’s dramatic, but that still doesn’t mean that he speaks like he never read a normal book.

To quickly bring up the soliloquy again: You can see with this sentence that this is far more subjective. “Soon it’s a good time to come to the surface” was somewhat objective as the whole country awaits Endeavor’s public statement to this situation. But “I’m looking forward to seeing your miserable face soon. It’s been a long time so far” is subjective. The public might not necessarily care about a hero being exposed. But Dabi cares because to him, this whole reveal is personal (obviously). This plan has been in the making for around ten years, whereas the rest of the country was unaware of the truth about Endeavor up until a few days ago.

「轟炎司。お母さん。冬美ちゃん。夏くん。。。。。。焦凍。」

「轟炎司 ; todoroki enji 」-> Enji Todoroki

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi-Chan

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

= “Enji Todoroki. Mom. Fuyumi-Chan. Natsu-Kun….. Shouto.”

While we can’t exactly blame the official translation for not including these suffixes, the distinction with Shouto doesn’t really show in the translation at all. Endeavor is an obvious one in either version - addressing your parent by full name indicates a distance as this shows no signs of familiarity. Much like his other siblings (I will talk about this at some point in a separate post) he calls his mom okaasan, a pretty normal way to say mom. As the older sibling, he wouldn’t have to use a suffix for any of his siblings, but this can - especially in a case like this - show familiarity. Aside from the many many dots representing a small pause he makes before even naming Shouto almost like he initially forgot about him, Shouto is also the only one only being called by name without a suffix, so the distinction becomes far more pronounced. It’s obvious that Touya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo grew up together and spent a lot of time together, thus he still uses these suffixes. But Shouto is just… Shouto. There is no relationship between them and the many dots just show this distance between the two.

「俺を見てくれ地獄の底で。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てくれ ; mitekure 」-> please look at me

「地獄 ; jigoku 」-> hell

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「底 ; soko 」-> bottom

「で ; de 」-> in

= “Please look at me in the depths of hell.”

The kure at the end of mitekure gets used when asking a favor from someone.

The official translation yet again sounds a bit weirder with the “Take a real good look at me” when kure is more of a “Please look at me” which sounds less assertive. Anyway, Dabi is clearly trying to state that his life is hell and now they get to see it, too. At the end of the chapter, Rei says that she and Endeavor both didn’t look at him before and there are several times during the flashback where Touya says “look at me!” which is all a summary of where this whole thing went wrong: Touya was in pain, and he made it known that he needed help and that he wasn’t okay, but both his parents ignored that. And so now his broadcast forces them to look at him. Forces them to look at what happened as a result of them ignoring his pain before. It’s not just to show the civilians how their heroes aren’t all that heroic, but more importantly, it’s so that someone can see his pain. He’s not giving them a choice, either. Though people - both in bnha society and in the fandom - write Dabi off as annoying or continue to refuse to see him as a victim, it really doesn’t matter because what he has accomplished is making people experience his pain. He is damaging society just how society has damaged him. Just how his father said “you’re not good enough” it’s now Dabi’s turn to say the same thing to him and society.

Dabi is already in the depths of hell, yet so far his family didn’t know that. But now they do and now they have to face the facts.

「せっかく休みなんだから“個性”訓練付き合ってよ！！何で急にダメとか言うんだよ！！」

「せっかく ; sekkaku 」-> after all the effort

「休み ; yasumi 」-> rest; holiday

「なんだから ; nandakara 」-> so

「“個性” ; kosei 」-> quirk

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

「付き合って ; tsukiatte 」-> to go along with; to follow someone’s lead

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「何で ; nande 」-> why

「急に ; kyuu ni 」-> suddenly

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「とか ; toka 」-> and so on; such as

「言う ; iu 」-> to say; to mean

「んだ ; nda 」-> used for emphasis when information has been shared

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “You have a day off, so come do quirk training with me after all that effort!! Why do you suddenly say things like it’s no good!!”

Sekkaku doesn’t have a direct translation, but here it emphasizes that an opportunity has come up (Endeavor having a day off), which would be a shame to waste by not spending it with training. The nanda in nandakara is a preliminary remark, which can be used to get the listener’s attention to the conclusion that follows after. Again, these are nuances that you can’t necessarily translate. But at least little Touya talks more like a normal person than Dabi.

「何度も言ったろう。おまえの為なんだ。」

「何度も ; nando mo 」-> many times over; often

「言ったろう ; ittarou 」-> told; said

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「為 ; tame 」-> advantage; benefit

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “I’ve told you many times. It’s for your benefit.”

The tarou ending in ittarou is used to add an accusatory tone to the phrase, so it shows somewhat of an impatience/annoyance here. Imagine being Touya. You always look forward to your training days with your incredible dad. And suddenly, he keeps canceling on you and just says “it’s for your own good” - kids aren’t stupid, and they know when they are treated as though they were. So it’s obviously frustrating that his dad just gives him weak excuses instead of being honest with him. And it’s not like Endeavor is seeking an actual way to help Touya. All he does is go to the doctor, gets told that Touya’s body and quirk don’t match, and then his solution is to stop training him. It’s one thing to be a concerned parent and keep your child away from harm, but it’s more important to think about how you keep them from harm and whether or not you ensure that they know that failing doesn’t mean that they are a failure. Problem is, Endeavor can’t tell him he’s not a failure since Touya is a failed project so he does, in fact, see him as a failure.

If you take a quick look at Touya, you can see his hair is only now starting to get a few white spots. It’s difficult to determine the exact timeline of things, but it’s obvious that this takes place only shortly after his hair first started turning white, which means that Endeavor went to the doctor pretty quickly. And yes, he says this is for Touya’s sake but remind me again why Touya is born? Oh right, for Endeavor’s sake! Anyway, moving on to the doctor’s office:

「珍しい例ですね。。。炎の個性因子はより色濃く引き継がれているのですが。肉体はお母さんの方を強く引き継いでしまってるんです」

「珍しい ; mezurashii 」-> rare

「例 ; rei 」-> instance; case

「です ; desu 」-> to be

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「個性 ; kosei 」-> quirk

「因子 ; inshi 」-> factor

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「より ; yori 」-> than

「色濃く ; irokoku 」-> strongly tending to

「引き継がれている ; hikitsugareteiru 」-> inheriting (present progressive passive form)

「のです ; no desu 」-> explanatory particle

「が ; ga 」-> but

「肉体 ; nikutai 」-> the body; the flesh

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「方 ; hou 」-> type

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「強く ; tsuyoku 」-> strong (adverb)

「引き継いでしまってるん ; hikitsuide shimatterun 」-> completely inheriting

「です ; desu 」-> to be

= “A rare case, isn’t it? The flame quirk factor is more strongly inherited, but the body is strongly and completely inherited from the mother’s type.”

In the last part, we once again have the verb + shimau constellation, which always either indicates that something happened regrettable or completely. In a way, both meanings apply here since Touya’s body fully takes after Rei’s constitution, but this is also obviously regrettable since it’s a waste of his strong fire quirk. In the official translation, he just says “he takes after his mother physically” which doesn’t really carry either nuance.

「つまり。。。炎への体制よりも氷結。。。寒さに適性のある身体なんです。」

「つまり ; tsumari 」-> that is to say; in other words

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「への ; e no 」-> particle that describes the word that follows using the direction towards the word that comes before

「体制 ; taisei 」-> order ; system

「よりも ; yorimo 」-> in comparison to; rather than

「氷結 ; hyouketsu 」-> freezing; freezing over

「寒さ ; samusa 」-> coldness

「に ; ni 」-> for (purpose)

「適性 ; tekisei 」-> aptitude; suitability

「のある ; no aru 」-> there is

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「なんです ; nandesu 」-> explanatory particle

= “In other words, it’s a body with an aptitude for the cold rather than being a system to the flames.”

Considering all the support items the heroes have, I feel like they could have found a solution to this. Dabi’s current coat helps cool him down, so why did Endeavor not think of something like that?

「まア。。。デザインじみたことはね。。。この“個性”時代禁忌なんで。。。やめといた方が。。。」

「まア ; maa 」-> well

「デザイン ; dezain 」-> design

「じみた ; jimita 」-> like

「こと ; koto 」-> thing

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「この ; kono 」-> this

「“個性” ; kosei 」-> quirk

「時代 ; jidai 」-> period

「禁忌 ; kinki 」-> taboo

「なんで ; nande 」-> because

「やめ ; yame 」-> to stop

「といた ; to ita」-> to do something in advance (contraction of te oita)

「方が ; hou ga 」-> should; it’d be better to (used to give advice)

= “Well… design-like things, huh… because this taboo of the “quirk” period… It’d be better to stop in advance.”

I feel like a normal doctor should maybe inform someone that this Top Hero is having a little eugenics project on the side. Maybe also call Child Protective Services. But since we’re all assuming this doctor is Dr. Ujiko, it’s not exactly surprising that he left it at “giving advice” which he is just as good at as Endeavor. Those two would truly get along well.

「なんと今日は６２もの市町村を救いました！オールマイトがいる限り我々が悪に屈する事は決してないでしょう！！」

「なんと ; nanto 」-> what…!; surprisingly; believe it or not

「今日 ; kyou 」-> today

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「６２ ; 62 」-> 62

「も ; mo 」-> emphasizes the number

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「市町村 ; shichouson 」-> cities, towns and villages

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「救いました ; sukuimashita 」-> saved

「オールマイト ; oorumaito 」-> All Might

「がいる ; ga iru 」-> there is

「限り ; kiri 」-> as long as

「我々 ; wareware 」-> we

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悪 ; aku 」-> evil

「に ; ni 」-> to

「屈する ; kussuru 」-> to yield; to give in

「事 ; koto」-> nominalizes the verb it attaches to

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「決してない ; kesshitenai 」-> never; by no means

「でしょう ; deshou 」-> used to express certainty

= “What! Today, 62 cities, towns, and villages were saved! We will certainly never give in to evil as long as All Might is there!”

The mo after the 62 implies that 62 is a large number and granted, that is a lot of places to save in one day.

「燈矢。おまえならオールマイトを超えられる。」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「��まえ ; omae 」-> you

「なら ; nara 」-> on the topic of; if

「オールマイト ; oorumaito 」-> All Might

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「超えられる ; koerareru 」-> to surpass (potential)

= “Touya. You can surpass All Might.”

Let’s move on to some sibling interaction, though:

「冬美ちゃん。ちょっと火傷するくらいなのにさ！全然がまんできるのにさ！」

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi

「ちょっと ; chotto 」-> a little

「火傷する ; yakedo suru」-> to burn

「くらい ; kurai 」-> used to describe a state, situation

「なのに ; nanoni 」-> even though; although

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「全然 ; zen zen 」-> entirely; completely

「がまん ; gaman 」-> bearing (something)

「できる ; dekiru 」-> be able to

「のに ; noni 」-> used when complaining to someone

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle; also used to let out emotions

= “Fuyumi-Chan. I only burn a little! I am able to endure it!”

Noni is something that roughly translates to even though, and usually gets followed with a second part of the phrase, but that follow-up part can be left out when you can understand it from context. So in that first part, he’s basically saying “Even though I got burned a little, I can still do this so he shouldn’t stop training me!” The second noni is used as a way to complain about the situation (= “Even though I am completely able to endure it, I get treated like I’m weak.”)

「俺の身体のことは俺が一番よくわかってるんだ。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「のことは」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「一番 ; ichiban 」-> the most

「よく ; yoku 」-> good (adverb)

「わかってるん ; wakatterun 」-> to understand; to know

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “I am the one that knows my body the best.”

We don’t know how fast his hair color was changing, but this is probably a few months after his hair first began to turn white. So at this point, Endeavor already knows that Touya’s body and quirk aren’t compatible yet still hasn’t bothered to come up with a solution. Instead, Touya keeps training. It’s odd that no one seems to try and properly stop him and make him understand that training isn’t good for him.

「でも冬美も燈矢兄ボロボロなの心配嫌っ。」

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「冬美 ; fuyumi」-> Fuyumi

「も ; mo 」-> also

「燈矢兄 ; touya-nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「ボロボロ ; boroboro 」-> worn-out (physically); tattered

「なの ; nano 」-> this particle functions as a substitute for a noun (= his body)

「心配 ; shinpai 」-> worry

「嫌っ ; yaa 」-> casual no

= “But Fuyumi also doesn’t [want to] worry about Touya-Nii [being] tattered.”

Me too, Fuyumi, me too.

「冬美ちゃんにはわかんねーよ！女の子にはわかんねンだ！」

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi-Chan

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「わかんねー」-> doesn’t understand

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「女の子」->

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「わかんね」-> doesn’t understand

「ンだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “Fuyumi doesn’t understand! Girls don’t understand!”

The n in nda is written in Katakana, once again for emphasis.

Also he looks so adorable the way he is marching out of the room there. Tiny Touya.

Still can’t believe some people in this fandom apparently were never (around) kids and somehow drew the conclusion that Touya is sexist. What a great takeaway from this entire chapter! Anyway, that’s just how kids talk - and definitely something brothers say to their sisters - but I’m pretty sure if he tried to say something like that now Fuyumi wouldn’t let him get away with it. But she’s like 2 (?) here, so not like she cares. Oh and… if you think “a girl wouldn’t get it” is sexist, then wouldn’t you also have that same energy in regards to a man solely getting a wife to use her as a baby-maker-machine, and then after putting her into a mental hospital proceeding to turn his only daughter (who was only created as emotional support person for her older brother) into a replacement for the mom? Yeah, I’m really surprised little Touya would say something that could be considered sexist...

「心配ちてんのに！！」

「心配ちてん ; shinpai chiten 」-> worrying

「のに ; noni 」-> used when complaining to someone

= “I’m worrying!!”

Here, little Fuyumi-Chan is basically complaining that Touya-Nii is mad and says she doesn’t understand, even though she is just worried about him. Everybody say “Thank you, Fuyumi!” for caring about Touya. Now, moving on to the actual sad panel:

「俺はもう「超えたい」って思ってるんだ！火をつけたのはお父さんだ！」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> already

「超えたい ; koetai 」-> want to surpass

「って思ってるん ; tte omotterun 」-> thinking

「だ ; da 」-> be

「火をつけた ; hi o tsuketa 」-> ignited

「のは ; no wa」->

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “I’m already thinking ‘I want to surpass him’! Dad is the one that ignited that flame in me!”

He is crying! Already! He acted tougher before walking away, but now that he is facing away from Fuyumi, the tears start rolling in a very defensive way. It’s basically him knowing that he can’t live up to his father’s expectations, but this is what he wants. He “wants” to surpass All Might, but it’s Endeavor who ignited that fire in him. Kids oftentimes have one parent they are closer to and sometimes even look up to. For Touya, that’s obviously Endeavor. He wants to make his father proud and wants to be what his father wants him to be.

Clearly, he’s always been very smart and also very self-aware. He’s always known his limits, but also back then refused to admit to it because he still had hope that he would somehow be able to be this incredible hero, despite his limitations. He wasn’t willing to just give up back then, and even now in the present time, he doesn’t give up. He can’t just let go and move on with his life, because no one ever told him that was an acceptable option. Not performing well meant his father loved him less. That’s why he never gave up because a child naturally craves their parents’ attention and love, even if it isn’t a healthy love. So who would give up something if that would result in not being loved anymore?

「それは。。。あんまりだよ。。。！残酷じゃない！あなたが子どもに何を求めてるか燈矢はもう知ってる！」

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あんまり ; anmari 」-> too much

「だ ; da 」-> be

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「残酷 ; zankoku 」-> cruel

「じゃない ; janai 」-> used to express emotion; when you want to accuse someone

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「子ども ; kodomo 」-> child

「に ; ni 」-> for

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「求めてる ; motometeru 」-> searching for; seeking

「か ; ka 」-> represents the intention of a question

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> already

「知ってる ; shitteru 」-> to know

= “That is… too much…! It’s cruel! Touya already knows what you want children for!”

A difference I noticed between the original version and the official English translation is that in the official translation Rei says “That would be too cruel!” whereas in the original version she says “That is cruel!” accompanied by janai which is used when you want to accuse someone. The “would” seems a bit more like Endeavor merely suggested something, but it’s still undecided. In reality, he’s not asking for her permission. It’s not about what Rei wants, yet she is still trying to make him come back to his senses and realize what effects his actions have on Touya.

「どれだけ言っても。。。毎日新しい火傷をつくってくる。。。」

「どれだけ ; dore dake 」-> how much

「言っても ; ittemo 」-> although I say

「毎日 ; mainichi 」-> every day

「新しい ; atarashii 」-> new

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくってくる ; tsukuttekuru」-> continue to get (つくる + てくる)

= “Despite how much I say, he continues to get new burns every day.”

Well, the earlier advice of “it’s for your own good” isn’t exactly the best way to get your child to understand why it shouldn’t do something. There probably could’ve been a bit more initiative here, you know, like getting a therapist involved. Someone, who actually understands children and knows how to handle them.

「バカなところも俺に似た。。。！諦めさせるにはそれしかない。。。燈矢には。。。超えられない。」

「バカ ; baka 」-> idiot

「なところ ; na tokoro」-> aspect; side

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「に似た ; ni nita」-> resembled

「諦めさせる ; akirameru 」-> make someone give up

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「しかない ; shika nai 」-> only

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「超えられない ; koerarenai 」-> can’t surpass

= “He also resembles me with the idiot aspect…! That is the only way to make him give up… Touya can’t surpass him.”

Those last two panels honestly look straight out of a horror story. Is that the face of a loving family man? Apparently so!

These posts originally started out because of the bias and obviously, Dabi is still written weirdly, but I do have to point out that the official translation at least doesn’t make Endeavor sound nicer here than he actually is.

I also find it interesting how Rei is drawn here, with half her face being in a shadow, which is usually a style used to show a character’s sinister side. Here, it’s accompanied by a sweat drop, which often indicates exasperation. This might indicate the start of a turning point for her. And this turning point is something that you see over the following panels until it comes to a finale on everyone’s faces once Shouto is born:

Looking at their eyes, they all look less than fine here.

Touya just kinda stares lifelessly. As Rei stated in the previous scene, Touya already knows why he and his siblings exist. He already knew when Natsuo was born and thus, Natsuo’s existence was living proof that Touya was still not enough. Yet, he still refuses to give up and desperately tries to prove himself to his father. And then 3 ½ years later, another sibling arrives.

Rei has shading under her eye and her eyes only half-way open, indicating fatigue. Obviously, giving birth would do that, but she’s also just generally tired of this and probably began to understand how powerless she is. And Endeavor has his eyes wide-open with tiny pupils, often indicating a character’s drive (not in a good way). He knows this is the one.

「お父さん。俺も超えられるよ。ほら。。。こんなに強い炎が出せるようになったんだ。俺のこと見てよ。」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「も ; mo 」-> too

「超えられる ; koerareru 」-> can surpass

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「ほら ; hora 」-> look!, hey!

「こんなに ; konna ni」-> such

「強い ; tsuyoi 」-> strong

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「出せる ; daseru 」-> can produce; start (a fire)

「ようになったん ; you ni nattan 」-> have reached the point that

「だ ; da 」-> be

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「のこと ; no koto 」-> about

「見て ; mite 」-> look

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad. I can also surpass him. Look… I have reached the point that I can produce such strong flames. Look at me!”

Based on this scene we can conclude that Touya kept training on his own. Endeavor knows about this, yet never bothered to actually stop him from going out to train (just saying “don’t do this” isn’t enough).

You can just see the desperation on his face, completely ignoring the tears running down his face. He is already at a point here where his feelings start to be tuned out. The only thing that’s on his mind is his goal of proving himself as the worthy successor.

「ダメだ！何故わからん！そこまでの火傷を負って何故わからないんだ！！」

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「だ ; da 」-> be

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「わからん ; wakaran 」-> don’t understand

「そこまで ; sokomade 」-> that far

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「負って ; otte 」-> receive (wound); injured

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「わからない ; wakaranai 」-> don’t understand

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “No good! I don’t understand why! You get so many burns and still don’t understand!!”

Again, not a great way to get your kid to understand anything. Yelling isn’t helping, either! Neither is telling them you don’t understand why they don’t understand.

「燈矢。。。！！おまえは外を見ろ。冬美や夏雄と遊べ！！学校で友達をつくれ！ヒーロー以外にも。。。沢山の世界がある。。。わかるだろう！」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「外 ; soto 」-> outside

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見ろ ; miro 」-> look (imperative)

「冬美 ; fuyumi」-> Fuyumi

「や ; ya 」-> and

「夏雄 ; natsuo」-> Natsuo

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊べ ; asobe 」-> play (imperative)

「学校 ; gakkou 」-> school

「で ; de 」-> at

「友達 ; tomodachi 」-> friends

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくれ ; tsukure 」-> to make (imperative)

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「以外 ; igai 」-> excepting; with the exception of

「にも ; nimo 」-> as well

「沢山 ; takusan 」-> plenty; enough; a large number

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「ある ; aru 」-> be

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「だろう ; darou 」-> don’t you agree

= “Touya…!! Look outside! Play with Fuyumi and Natsuo!! Make friends at school! There are other things than heroes… there are many worlds… you understand that, don’t you!”

The darou at the end here is a little assertive, like saying “This is how I see it and you should agree!” which is captured in the official translation by him saying “I know you understand” - which is a funny phrasing since Touya obviously doesn’t understand.

I get that being a hero is often reduced to just being about fighting, but how is this man so incapable of understanding his own child? He knows Touya goes out training regularly - and has been for years - and keeps coming home with burns and even after all this time Touya still doesn’t listen to him, and yet his incredible advice here is “Go get some friends!” Is that… helpful to anyone? No wonder he never got to the Number One position if that’s how he tries to save people.

There’s actually a chapter in the School Briefs light novels (no spoilers) that brings up this topic too: What kind of hero are you if you can’t even save your own family?

And we’re not talking about Touya being held at gunpoint or something; we’re talking about years and years of this child’s mental and physical health decreasing, very obviously so, and it’s not getting any better.

Touya doesn’t do this because he’s jealous because he already did all of this before any of his competitors (= Natsuo and Shouto) were born. He’s doing this because he is a child and like any other child out there just wants his parents’ love and attention, which is literally the parents’ whole job. Endeavor failed both as a father and a hero.

「そうしていく内に忘れる。」

「そうしていく ; soushiteiku 」-> continue to do so (そうする + ていく)

「内に ; uchi ni 」-> while

「忘れる ; wasureru 」-> to forget about it

= “While you continue to do so, you’ll forget about it.”

I don’t even know if he thinks this is good advice? Surely, no one could think this would be helpful here, right…?

「学校の子は皆ヒーローになるってさ。。。！。。。わかるはずないだろ。。。！」

「学校 ; gakkou 」-> school

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子 ; ko 」-> kids

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> everyone

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になる ; ni naru 」-> to become

「って ; tte 」-> quotation marker

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「はずない ; hazu nai 」-> cannot be

「だろ ; daro 」-> right; I think

= “The kids at school all say they’ll become heroes…! I cannot understand, right?”

Hazu nai is used to strongly emphasize that something cannot be. In this case, Touya cannot possibly understand that concept of just letting go because this is his whole identity and you can’t just toss your whole identity away, especially when that identity is necessary in order to get your parents’ attention and love.

「俺はお父さんの子どもなんだから」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子ども ; kodomo 」-> child

「なんだから ; nandakara 」-> because; after all

= “After all, I am your child.”

Nandakara has an important nuance that’s worth talking about it. It’s used to give an explanation or emphasize something that both the listener and speaker know and expresses a strong emotion that the speaker feels and that the listener doesn’t fully appreciate. Apparently, some people had an issue with the official translation here and claiming it sounded too accusatory. Anyway, this child has every right to accuse his father of expecting him to just give up on his attempt at reaching his goal when Endeavor got married and had four kids because he wasn’t immediately handed the Number One position. That sure is ironic and sad that little Touya understands this so well, too.

「冷やさなきゃ」

「冷やさなきゃ; hiyasanakya 」-> must cool; must calm down; must cool off (冷やす + なきゃ)

= “We must cool him off!”

This is a pun that also works in English! While the word hiyasu can mean to cool off in the sense of calming down, it can also mean to cool (from room temperature); to refrigerate. And both meanings are applicable here since Touya is having a breakdown and needs to be calmed down mentally, but he also seems to be sweating almost like his quirk is building up inside of him and about to boil over, which it then does as he tries to attack Shouto, so he also needs to be physically cooled down.

「お父さんが火をつけたんだ。。。！消えないんだよ。。。！！なかったことになんて。。。できないんだよ！」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「火をつけた ; hi wo tsuketa 」-> ignited

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「消えない ; kienai 」-> won’t go out

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「なかったことに ; nakatta koto ni 」-> to forget something ever existed; to pretend something didn’t happen

「なんて ; nante 」-> something like

「できない ; dekinai 」-> can’t

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad ignited that fire in me…! It won’t go out…!! I can’t just pretend something like that never existed, you know!”

「俺を見てろよ。。。！！エンデヴァー　俺を見てろよ！！！」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てろよ ; mitero yo」-> just you wait and see (as a threat)

「エンデヴァー ; endevaa 」-> Endeavor

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てろよ ; mitero yo」-> just you wait and see (as a threat)

= “Just look at me…!! Endeavor, just look at me!!!”

So mitero yo is an expression meaning “just you wait and see” and it consists of the imperative form on miteru (= you must be looking) and the yo emphasizes this more. “Just you wait and see” obviously sounds far more threatening (because it is) and also kind of makes sense when considering where they are now in the present time. Now - fifteen years or so later - Endeavor sees him. This goes back to the earlier part where Dabi said “Watch me from the depths of hell” - it’s a different form (in that part he says mitekure, while here he says mitero yo) but he’s always telling his family to look at him. Because, at the end of the day, that’s where it all went wrong. No one ever truly saw him and his pain until one day, he broke. What exactly is a child supposed to do? Endeavor has gotten away with not looking for too long, but Dabi won’t let him go on like that anymore.

And notice how he says the same line twice here? And in the middle he says “Endeavor” - for the first time, he addresses him by his hero name instead of calling him dad. This is because he isn’t just asking his father to look at him, but he’s also threatening Endeavor. I think this might actually hint that he’s already having thoughts of turning into a villain? Maybe he already thought about what it would be like to just turn himself into a villain and refuse Endeavor from reaching his goals just as Endeavor has refused Touya from reaching his goals. Whether he actively thought about this or whether that was more of a subconscious feeling is hard to say but it’s clear that at that point he already viewed Endeavor, the hero, as the bad guy that took his father away from him. If it wasn’t for Endeavor, the hero, then Touya wouldn’t have to prove his worth to his father by having a strong quirk.

「一番辛いのはあなたじゃないし。あの子を見なかったのはあなただけじゃない。」

「一番 ; ichiban 」-> the most; number one

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> painful; difficult (emotionally)

「のは ; no wa」-> nominalizer + topic marker

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

「し ; shi 」-> emphasizes the point you make

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見なかった ; minakatta 」-> didn’t look

「のは ; no wa」-> nominalizer + topic marker

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

= “You are not the one with the most pain. You aren’t the only one that didn’t look at that child.”

This is another line where some people claimed the official translation made Rei sound harsher than she actually is. But I don’t think she’s even being harsh here? She’s just stating a fact. And just compare the two of them real quick: Rei just got out of the mental hospital she stayed in for ten years and upon finding out what really happened with Touya, immediately took responsibility and decided to do something. Endeavor, on the other hand, is crying in his hospital bed because suddenly he regrets that he failed as a parent for over twenty years. I don’t think she’s being harsh by telling him that he isn’t the one who is hurting the most when that’s just a fact. And the “you don’t get to claim” phrasing of the official translation isn’t really harsh, it’s just being direct. But Endeavor is a grown man and with all the pain he has caused his family, I think he can deal with not being handled like some fragile little thing.

What I find interesting about this line is that it’s essentially a continuation to what she said in the last chapter when she stated that “Everyone else is having those feelings a lot more than you” Now, she is adding to that because not only has the rest of the family suffered a lot more than Endeavor, but one person in particular - Touya - is currently in the most amount of pain out of any of them. Endeavor’s self-pity and regrets have no space here because Touya is the actual victim here, and not Endeavor for having been exposed for something he chose to do for over two decades.

They both never looked at that child, but now it’s time to change that and finally start looking at him.

There weren’t really a lot of changes in the translation - aside from our now Spanish-speaking amigo, Dabi - but there’s still a lot to talk about, as you can see by this very very long post. So if you read all of this, thank you! And also congrats for making it through! There’s always nuance that just doesn’t translate but is still important to mention and gives a better insight into the characters. This chapter was just the first part so chapter 302 will surely give us some more clarity, possibly even finally revealing what actually happened on the day Touya supposedly died. So now let’s see what the next chapter will bring.

Adios~

#translation #301 #dabi #todoroki #bnha #touya #japanese #bnha 301 #meta

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vasiktomis · 3 years ago

Text

Pomegranate, Chapter 18: Quiet Earth, Part II.

John Seed x Female Deputy

Rating: Explicit.

Read it on Ao3 here! Notes: Co-angels @honeysides, @shallow-gravy, and @lilwritingraven all provided immense support while I toiled over this chapter, which I am forever immensely thankful for. Never would've been able to give people second-hand embarrassment like this without y'all enabling me. As always, thank you for reading!

WARNINGS: Canon-typical violence. Sexually-explicit content. An angry cult leader with performance anxiety. You know the drill.

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The comparative tranquillity of Seed Ranch had a way of making Cora feel like time was moving slower than it should have. In all seriousness, the chain-reaction of their escape from Fall's End was still firing, but without the gunshots and the shouting, approaching the property felt more like being in stasis. It was too still. Too unassuming.

The Project members awaiting John on the steps of the property were vigilant about a thorough, yet strangely distant reception of the man, as if they’d been hard-wired to anticipate his moods; warmly welcoming him home, but giving the man such a wide berth that one might have assumed he was carrying a live grenade.

Cora supposed he was at least consistent in his inconsistency; just as volatile toward his allies as he was his enemies. She wondered if the serenity of the ranch was a natural element of John's sect; whether they simply cared enough about the man to know his boundaries to the inch - or whether such a light-hearted environment was manufactured deliberately and specifically around his temper.

The Deputy’s presence did well to break the façade, however. It brought with it a range of cautious exchanges from the followers that ushered them into the home; some in fear of re-living the bedlam of her bunker escape, and others casting stern looks between her bare midriff and their leader’s refusal to leave her side.

She noticed it, too - how he stuck to her like Velcro.

It was only after she was administered pain medication and had her wound dressed (they’d been gracious enough to re-dress the haphazard bandaging on her hand, too) that John abruptly took his leave, excusing himself to apparently more pressing matters. Cora was simply confined to the foyer, drifting in and out of snoozing consciousness on one of the couches in front of the fireplace.

All in all, the mental and physical exhaustion of conceding defeat to the Project proved in all honestly a little boring. The blonde had expected she might break down once she was left alone. It seemed about the right time for it, and yet, all she felt was tired. Was it the cult who had done this to her? Run her so ragged that only anger remained?

Ideas of escape waxed and waned with cultists moving in and out of the space periodically to check in on her, lessening in their hostility with each passing visit until their warnings not to cross them turned into beratements over her refusal to sit still, for the love of Joseph.

In her restlessness, she sorted through thoughts and memories, deciding on the conclusion that while yes, today had been devastating, she’d long since thrown away her capacity to recognise it. It had been so long since she’d spared herself any emotion beyond rage that everything else felt only vaguely different. She might’ve broken down, had she not forgotten how to do such a thing. Trying only gave her a stomach ache, and so she resigned herself to waiting it out, growing more and more impatient with how undramatic this aftermath had turned out to be. How her captor had left her so unceremoniously after being declared victor.

Maybe he was similarly nonchalant about all this.

...No. That was impossible. He'd probably just excused himself to go dance a celebratory little jig. Perhaps he'd stepped through a hornet's nest in doing so, or been ambushed by coyotes. Something beyond mere choice that warranted the excuse to disappear like that.

The skylights in the ceiling changed hues over the course of what felt like hours, however, and John did not return.

It felt weird, being in his home without him present. It felt weird being fussed over by house staff who muttered for her to stop picking at her bandages while she lay across his furniture, warmed by his fire. It felt weird that her exposure to Sharky and Jess had finally led her to identify that the strange smell she’d always detected in the Baptist’s home was unmistakably raw cannabis.

Eventually, the clatter of plates and bubbling conversation drew the Deputy away from the couch and around to the other end of the foyer. The gigantic table she’d only ever seen stacked high with bibles in the past now carried an assortment of food, picked at by passing cultists like a barbeque line while they chattered away.

Watching them almost felt like watching her family back in Brooklyn. Waiting out the messy crossed streams of conversation in hiding until the coast was clear and the kids could swarm the reward of food without the labour of having to hang out with the adults. It was strange, how they mimicked a family, when the only similarity Cora could gauge between them were the logos printed on their clothes.

The spying didn't last. One pair of eyes flickering to her quickly became ten, and Cora's heart rate skyrocketed. Instinct kicked in. Eyes combing over each Peggie around the table for weapons. Hands reaching for her own absent holster and emptied pockets.

The group did not respond in-kind. Apparently, they were too preoccupied with loading up their plates to deal with a leader of the Peggie-killing movement in their space.

Cora didn’t buy it. Not straight away. Not until her gaze darted around the rest of the room, weighing up which of the Baptist’s gaudy home decorations might be most effective at bone-crushing and-

“Look who’s got her colour back.”

…

What?

The same cultist who spoke up - a woman - one of the group who’d been at the church earlier, gestured at the table. “Hungry?”

What?

One Peggie with a particularly heavy beard slid a plate over the table toward Cora. Two younger girls over his shoulder giggled to each other.

“Do you think we should offer her a shirt?”

“I’m not that brave. Leave it to John.”

“Anything fresh is all from the garden.” The bearded Peggie spoke, pulling Cora’s scowl away from them with a smile.

She inspected the table. Undersized apples and strawberries. Home-grown, by their imperfections. Multi-coloured silver beet and slightly burned sweetcorn. Homemade bread piled an end of its own, surrounded by a selection of preserves in blank jars. All of it, against her will, served as a reminder that she’d only ingested coffee today. This was bizarre, but she was hungry. Not to mention the Resistance diet consisted mostly of canned spaghetti.

Gingerly, the Deputy picked at one of everything, and while the group of cultists continued chatting, she stood awkwardly by on the side-line, trying to figure out the most efficient means of eating corn while still maintaining a hostile air about her and lot letting slip that it was fucking delicious.

Apparently tearing into the thing wasn't adequately frightening. The same talkative man split from the party to approach her, ignoring the roll of her eyes. A spot of shine glided over his bald head while he moved around the table, and as he neared, he gave her a moment to squint at him.

There was something familiar about that overbearing air.

“We’ve... -”

“Met.” He confirmed. “Briefly.”

“When?”

“Months ago now. I, uh, almost baptised you.”

Cora chewed the inside of her cheek, considering that. Somewhere in the back of her mind the memory of wet rocks beneath her feet swelled with the lapping of shallow waters. Just tap my arm if you need to come up for air.

He shrugged at her silence. “You were pretty Blissed-”

“No, I remember you.” The Deputy mumbled, turning her attention back to her food, intent on keeping it there. It didn’t last long. A hand stretched out before her, and with a laboured, full-mouthed sigh, she shook it.

“Andrew. Glad to see you again.” He offered.

“Okay.”

The silence was as painful as she’d hoped to make it, but tragically, he was resilient.

"Andy works, too-"

"Andrew's syllabically identical and perfectly sufficient. Where's your boss?"

“Upstairs, working.”

“And he’s asked not to be disturbed.” One woman interjected. “So don’t get any ideas.”

Cora blinked at that. Then, plate still in-hand, she spun on her heel and made for the staircase.

Behind her, the group exchanged a collective look of panic.

"Ma'am?"

"Sister?"

"Hey!"

“We’re not allowed up there!”

“Perfect." Cora grumbled back, already ascending the steps. "Then you don’t have to worry about following me.”

The second storey of Seed ranch was dead still in comparison to downstairs. A hallway presented a quiet stretch of closed doors and branching hallways that led out to balconies, part way between residential space and tactical efficiency.

Back in the day, she’d assumed the Baptist just had a thing for doors. Looking around at the space now, it was clear that John was well-aware of how many enemies he’d generated thanks to his work.

The crackle of a radio up ahead drew the Deputy’s attention, and as she drew closer, a hushed curse.

“Pick up. Come on, pick up.” John murmured. Then, in a brand new tone: “Joseph. Brother. I need you to call me back. Please, it’s been - just...whenever you can. I’ll be here.”

She found him beyond a cracked doorway, hunched over a desk. His fingers smoothed through damp hair hair, tugging, jaw clenched and brow furrowed.

The door creaked as Cora pressed against it, and in the time it took for her to cringe at the noise, John had sat up straight, shifting out of whatever private mood she’d spied him in. He blinked up at her, inhaling deeply, reeking of uncertainty.

She felt it too. Of all the scenarios to catch him alone in, the blonde hadn’t expected that she’d be brandishing sourdough.

A moment passed. Both of them trying to feel out this new territory.

“Hey.” Cora eventually muttered.

John exhaled. “Hi.”

“Brought food.”

He looked away. “Deputy, pleased as I am that you’re making yourself at home, I asked for privacy.”

“Since when did you value privacy?” Cora asked, pushing into the room and seating herself on the desk. The tired irritation on John’s face when she set the plate in front of him was worth the day of boredom already. He glanced up at her, and she responded with a wolfish smile.

“You have corn in your teeth.” He mumbled, relenting, posture slackening. “And you’re getting blood flakes on my desk.”

The Deputy tried not to look so hurried about picking. “Isn’t that a garnish in Japan?”

“That’s fish. You’re thinking bonito.”

“I know what I’m thinking.”

Another pause.

“Is that what you thought you were filleting in the church? Bonito?”

Annoyed silence.

“It was Nick.”

Finally, John scoffed, glaring at her, offering a reluctant nod when she flashed her teeth to confirm she’d gotten rid of the food in her teeth. “You are so funny.”

“Thank you. Eat something.”

Cora watched the man regard the plate in front of him.

“How generous of you to take a bite out of everything first." His gaze landed on the shredded corn cob. "Except for that. That, you demolished."

"Yeah, well." Cora plucked up the same piece of bread he'd been reaching for. "Why're you hiding up here? Thought maybe you would've starting laying on the torment by now. Not...brooding."

"Brooding."

"Yes."

"Pardon me for needing to adjust to having a murderer in my home."

Cora hummed at that, casting a look around the room. "Took you about 2 seconds to adjust to a murderer's tongue in your mouth-"

"Deputy." John spat, pushing the plate away from him in a final display of denial. "Please, leave. I'm busy."

“No, you’re not.” Cora bit back. “I want to know what your plan is. Now you’ve got me, what’s next? What’s the point in me sitting around on your couch all afternoon? You don’t leave me alone, ever, and now that I’m here you want me to make myself scarce?”

The Baptist's jaw rolled in annoyance, and when Cora shifted her legs to face him easier, he jerked away from her, avoiding contact. “You’ve grown too accustomed to being in the spotlight." He grumbled.

“Stop avoiding the question.”

“What question?”

“What’s your deal? What's the plan? What happens now?”

“The plan is to get back to work. My apologies if your assumption was that you were the main goal of this valley, but there are dozens of things that require my attention-“

“Like sitting by the phone for your brother for hours?”

John paused at that. Something old and familiar flashed over his expression, and he stood from his seat. “You’re jealous.” He accused.

Cora’s lip curled, ears running hot. “You’re wasting time, and I want to know why.”

“Is that why you're nosing through my business? If I gave you details - what I'm working on - what the next step is - is that a strategic win for you?" His palms slid against the desk, planted on either side of her legs. "Or is my lack of undivided attention so awful to you that anything to help rationalise it would do?"

Something in her celebrated that look on his face. The renewed confidence in his attitude. It enraged her, but it was scores better than his absence.

She scowled, but she didn’t pull away when John leaned down into her space. It didn’t work the way it used to. Now it didn’t feel close enough. Now she wanted to part her legs and pull his hips against her.

It was a discomfort she’d never known before, and now, even with her wounds dulled, it almost felt painful. She wanted to know what the plan was. She wanted to plan an escape. She wanted to have just this one little victory if this was the end of the line. If he was going to convert her, then she could at least undermine him by ruining his faithfulness. It might destabilise him enough that she could find some advantage to getting back to Fall’s End. That would make it okay, if it were all driven by strategy or revenge. Her curiosity would be sated.

But then, as if he could hear her thoughts from the sheer volume of their demands, John drew away from her.

“You should shower.” He muttered quickly, snatching the radio from the desk. “Across the hall, on the right.”

He didn’t look at her as he left the room. He didn’t look back when he disappeared down the hall and made for the stairs.

Cora glared ahead at the space he'd left emptied.

What a fucking coward.

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Despite her soured mood, Cora had done as she was ordered. She spent all of two minutes rinsing the old blood from her skin, and another ten reflecting in quiet judgement over the bottle of 3-in-1 sitting in the shower caddy with her. Maybe she should've allowed herself the opportunity to warrant having to bathe here earlier. Maybe she'd have developed more of a sense of disgust for the man if she had.

The clothes she’d arrived in were still stained, but it was an improvement. Less of a sensory distraction while she sorted through her thoughts, at least.

While the Deputy dried off and re-dressed, the haze of pain relief began to lighten, and she was able to focus on cobbling together some kind of a plan to get herself out of Seed Ranch. She might have conceded defeat, but the hideous tattoo marking her sternum didn't mean she was suddenly going to behave. Especially if her captor was refusing to even the playing field and let her know what the hell they were supposed to do now.

Whatever John was keeping from her, it was urgent enough that his entire demeanour had changed. What did he need from Joseph so desperately? If it had anything to do with the Resistance, or if had anything to do with Joseph coming here, the Deputy intended to put a stop to it.

If John Seed’s intention was to avoid her, he should’ve thought twice before locking her in his home. Ensuring that he’d keep his distance, however, was the easy part.

The real goal would be getting him away from that radio.

Descending the stairs, Cora found John in solitary silence in the foyer. There was no sign of the Peggies serving up supper anymore, and the dining table had been cleared.

John was alone, sitting on the couch by the fireplace with his head in his hands, no less agitated than when she’d first found him. The hand-held sat close by on his left. In front of him on the coffee table was a landline phone that hadn’t been there previously.

He didn’t notice her at first. To his credit, she didn’t announce herself until a creak of the stairs did it for her. Then, the snap of his gaze toward her was instant. Hyper-vigilant.

Cora reached the first floor. “Where’d everyone go?”

“Minding the perimeter.” John answered, making space for her to take a seat but keeping himself faced away. “You’ll be pleased to know that your troop is still yet to be captured. Little doubt they’re aware that you’ve been brought here. Even less that they’re on the hunt for you, given the state Fall’s End was in when we left. Boshaw seemed happy enough to blow up half the town to get to you. Shorty."

There was no mistaking his bitterness at the nickname.

When she approached, Cora found a folded Project sweater sitting where she intended to. John’s jaw rolled when she slowed to glare at the thing.

Still, he refused to look at her.

“Put it on. You’ll freeze.”

“I’d rather not look like one of you when the Resistance comes to rescue me.”

“You are one of us, now. Almost. Once you’ve pledged yourself to the Project, they needn’t consider it a rescue effort any longer.”

Cora huffed in response, pulling the sweater over her head and slumping into the couch. “You sound a lot less happy about that than I’d expect.”

“I’m fine.”

Stonewalling. Now she was beginning to understand how annoying it was when she did it.

“I’ve made enough of a career out of it to know what you look like when you’re not fine.” The Deputy remarked.

“I think I preferred it when I was asking all the questions.”

“I think you preferred me when I was tied up in a basement.”

That comment caught a glance. Amusement, unnoticed on her part.

“So, what - you’ve been sitting beside a radio all day and somehow weren’t inclined to terrorise me? Or were you just that busy arranging flowers for my Atonement?”

“Are you feeling stood up?” John asked. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were projecting, Deputy.”

Her ears flushed hot. Immediate rage flooded pitted in her stomach, but as much as the blonde would have liked to get up and stomp elsewhere, she had little other option without any better ideas.

Right now, this was all she had.

Channelling her inner Adelaide.

Cora inhaled, swallowing back a cursory retort. “Both work.”

In her periphery, John ceased all movement, staring straight ahead.

All she had to do was pressure him enough to move away. Then it was over. She’d been rejected by him before - anticipating it happening again shouldn’t have needed to feel as gross as it did.

“Maybe I think you got scared, not having me under your control.” She went on, finding the words already prepared on her tongue as she turned toward him. “You seemed like you were enjoying it when it was you-”

“-and then you punched me in the face.” John cut in stiffly.

“Didn’t deter you.”

“We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because it’s against the rules.” The clip in his tone signalled a warning. Then, an impatient sigh escaped his nostrils. “And you said it yourself: it was a mistake.”

He wasn’t going to look at her. There was no pulling at his attention while he could hide her in his periphery.

“Is that why you’re upset?” She made a quiet move to touch her fingers to his forearm, but he pulled away with a scoff.

“If you’re trying to buy time -”

“Are you frustrated?” Cora pressed on. His shifting had given her enough leeway to get herself between him and the phone, and she took her opportunity, sliding down to kneel between the couch and the coffee table. Directly in front of him. “Knowing what people say about you?”

John finally inclined his head to sneer down at her, but if he had anything he was intending to say, it was silence by the bob of his Adam's apple. A gulp. His breathing was the only audible sound in the room, barring herself; shallow and staggered.

Almost there.

Cora kept her eyes on his. She wouldn’t lie - despite sitting at his feet like this, she could still gauge the power that she held. That while, yes, there was a spark of disappointment that came with watching him ignore her advances, there was also some odd thrill in watching the man who’d made multiple attempts on her life struggle so much. Knowing that, even with her unarmed and kneeling - even with all his connections and soldiers, and everything he'd done to her - he was powerless.

He’d taken her freedom, but she could get that back. She’d compromised his loyalty to dogma. Nearly made the tallied notches on his arm into a lie. He'd have to start again from the ground-up. He'd be middle-aged before he found the same progress.

“Now that I’m atoned. Now that no one’s watching.” She sat up, drawing closer to his thigh, inwardly cursing at his refusal to move away this time. “All that work you put into catching me, and now what? Nothing?”

“Deputy.” John growled, low and dangerous.

“You want this.” Cora concluded, watching the flush of red bloom from beneath his collar and the flex of his jaw while he grit his teeth.

“There are bigger things at stake right now-”

“And even now that you have me, you’re too scared to do anything about it.”

John inhaled a swift breath, averting his gaze. “That’s beside the point.”

“You want this."

“Would you quit it? You’re wrong.”

Finally, the Baptist shoved himself out of the couch, back-stepping several paces until he was half-way across the room. Once he’d gotten himself to a safe distance, he regarded the Deputy once more, gaze cold and angry while she cycled through unknown victory and equally unknown disappointment.

He wasn’t going to be made to give in.

“You haven’t been atoned. Not yet.” John breathed, turning on his heel and marching into the kitchen.

Cora stared at the doorway he'd escaped through. Now was her chance.

One...two...three...

Okay. He wasn't coming back in a hurry. She'd successfully scared him off.

There was no time to waste.

While the faucet ran in the next room, Cora twisted around, snatching the phone upside down and hastily unclipping the cable from the device. The dial-tone cut to silence. Communication blocked, but cord hooked up to the damn thing was already conspicuous without evidence of tampering. She couldn't just discard the cable.

There was no way John wouldn’t notice its absence when he returned, and so the Deputy did what any effective home invader would do.

She bit down on the cord, close as she could to the adapter, chewing hard until grinding wire snapped between her teeth. When she plugged the cable back in and set the phone straight again, the machine remained dead, but intact.

Good. That'd buy some time.

The radio was next. Rather than switch the device off, Cora tuned it a few notches, finding a dead station and placing it back right where John had left it.

Done.

Sabotage successful. If Joseph had any intention of making a call-back soon, he’d be going unheard. There was no telling how long it would last, but unless the Baptist was stocked on landlines, half of his communications were disabled entirely.

Cora exhaled, inviting in the momentary relief. Being kept here was one thing. Having to be in the same room as Joseph Seed was another dimension entirely.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” She called, rising to a stand and following the Baptist’s trail.

No response.

When Cora entered the kitchen, John was dabbing his neck with wet hands. The moment he sensed her, he grumbled a sharp curse, bracing his hands against the counter to keep from facing her.

“Is this the plan? We just sit and wait?”

His shoulders seized. “...Yes.”

Cora stalked past him, finding a counter of her own to lean against, finding her own patience dwindling. Coiling irritation at the very notion of Joseph having so much sway over the Baptist that he could seemingly halt time.

“So what’s the point in taking me? In bringing me here?” She spat.

“Disregarding our personal rapport, it’s no small matter, having you here.” John ground out. “My family will want to know-”

“Have you tried calling Jacob?”

Something twitched in John's expression. A button, pushed. Dispelled rage.

“The Father will-”

There was no holding back the snarl that brewed in her throat. Hitting its boiling point. He did have that much sway over the man. They were sitting here in stasis, all because of him.

“Are you that fucking sad? We’re stuck here just because you need to hear Joseph tell you how well you did? A whole fucking resistance effort just blew up half of Fall’s End. You caught me. Dozens of people are dying, and all you can do is sit by the phone?” Cora demanded, scowling while his muscles trembled. “Are you serious?!”

“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO, CORA?!” John bellowed, head snapping around to fix her in place, eyes blazing. The sheer volume of him froze her to the spot. "Did you assume that you were somehow different from anyone else the Project takes in? That your place here; that you're even alive had anything other to do than Joseph requesting it? Did you think that you'd somehow slipped through every possible crack in the system for any reason beyond this path being carved specifically by the Father? Because, frankly speaking, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

The Deputy didn't reply. She couldn't.

Not that it would've mattered.

John, it seemed, was far from finished.

“You're so selfish. One moment you insist on making your own salvation impossible. The next, you assume you can simply start calling shots." He bit, voice already hoarse from yelling, but with no less poison. "You think I enjoy waiting around for whatever order comes next? That I enjoy you waltzing around my home, eating my food, whining that I'm not doing enough for you? After all the wrath you’ve wrought - after all the death and the destruction - you’re still so fucking entitled to assume that I’d throw aside my loyalty to the Father. All just because you’re here, and not even by fucking choice.”

Cora swallowed, calming the nerves that egged her on to snap back at him. "I didn't - I don't - "

After a moment, the hostility thinned. John's shoulders sagged.

"I know it's not optimal. It might not seem like it, but we're lucky. Things could be a lot worse for both of us, but on Joseph's order, they're not. It's his wisdom that made you being here even possible. So yes; the plan right now is that we sit and wait."

John turned toward her, then. He looked positively miserable.

“What happened last night…can’t happen again.” He explained. “It doesn’t matter that you’re here now. I’m the Baptist. Joseph is my brother. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, and there’s nothing he won’t find out. We need to do everything we can to stay on his good side.”

He did have a point. As much as she wanted John to be the last of her enemies, he was only one of three, and likely the lowest ranked of the Project's leaders. Pushing John to defy a higher power was unwise.

Her job was done, anyway. There was no more need to pursue him. Curiosity didn't matter. Want didn't matter. No meant no.

“Okay.” The Deputy croaked finally, nodding.

John raised his eyebrows, unconvinced. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” She attempted a smile. "Water under the bridge."

He returned the expression. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Great.”

“Cool.”

They both stood still, watching each other for a long moment.

Then Cora’s heart sank, and she felt herself detach from the counter. John did the same, marching toward her while she advanced on him with equal urgency.

Her fingers found the front of his shirt just as his found her face, and his mouth was on hers in a heartbeat. For all her rationalisations, the blonde reciprocated immediately, clutching him closer, humming into his kiss with a pitch she’d normally find mortifying.

“I’m sorry.” John breathed, hardly breaking away long enough to put the words together before he was kissing her again. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean that."

Cora nodded, barely able to formulate a response against him. Every word she reached for melted on her tongue, completely enraptured by the heat of his mouth and his desperate hands not knowing whether they wanted to grip at her hips or keep cradling her jaw.

She didn’t even know she’d been walked backward until she felt the cold countertop hit the small of her back, and then - much more pleasantly - the warmth of John’s body pressing against her front. She gasped, winding a hand into his damp hair and slipping beneath his shirt with the other, pawing at whatever skin she could access and drawing another one of those pitiful sounds she’d pulled from him last night.

“Wasn’t - ah, fuck,” the Deputy choked, not anticipating the Baptist’s impatience when he dipped his head to kiss her neck, arms coiling tight around her waist, “Wasn’t a mistake.”

"Fuck no." John moaned against her throat, tongue barely darting out to taste her skin. “Won’t hit me this time?”

“Not this time.”

He pulled back then, leaving a half inch of aching dead space between them. Swallowing back a pant and looking at her directly. Like he was weighing up every possible pro and con about this scenario. Cora stilled, trading hesitation with the man, sobering for all but a few fearful seconds.

“If you don’t-”

“Don’t.” John breathed. “Just let me commit this to memory.”

“I mean it.”

“Deputy, you have no idea - how many times I’ve -...how much damage this could do."

Cora shifted under his gaze, searching impatiently to find which direction his resolve would fall. "I can keep a secret."

Amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth, breaking through apprehension.

“You want this.” She murmured.

“God, yes.”

He kissed her deeply, holding her steady through the shiver sent through her as his tongue slid across her bottom lip. Then, as soon as it felt like they were picking back up where they’d left off, he pulled back again. The grin he flashed at her frustration pulled a little noise of protest out of the blonde, and when she chased his mouth, he held her still.

“For the sake of being on the same page,” He began, “you do, too, right?.”

What a ridiculous assertion. What kind of answer was he hoping to gain from that? He already had her consent; did he really need the pride of knowing how badly she wanted this too? It wasn’t even something she’d actively considered, anyway. She’d have to think about-

“Yeah.” Cora breathed, ragged. “Yes.”

John settled into a more comfortable smile, and while the eye contact wasn’t something she could uphold for long, Cora mirrored the expression.

Then, a sigh rolled out of the Baptist. “Thank fucking Christ.”

She didn’t have time to chuckle at that.

His mouth was back on her in a instant.

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“What’d I tell you?” Jess hissed, looking Sharky up and down while she waded toward him through torn up asphalt and cement debris. “What’d I tell you about making a fucking idiot of yourself?”

Sharky traded a look with Hurk at that. The man was nearly unrecognizable from all the dust clinging to him.

“I thought we did pretty good.” The arsonist defended.

“The town’s half blown-up, dipshit.”

“We did real good.” Hurk weighed in.

He wasn’t wrong. They didn’t even kill nobody they weren’t supposed to. There’d been bumps in the road, sure, but all in all, things hadn’t been a total disaster. Once you translated that into the kind of situation they were in, total disaster was actually kind of...well, awesome. Especially once the Cougars had arrived.

Sharky hadn’t heard word from over East since they’d left, but things must’ve been mighty fucking boring up there at the County Jail for a whole fucking convoy to come charging through town.

He’d never seen so many baseball jerseys in one place, let alone jerseys toting assault rifles.

There wasn’t any chasing leftover Peggies out of town once they’d shown up. It was a purge so quick and so direct that the blonde understood a little better why Shorty had been so pissed about not getting the extra help earlier.

Everyone had found their way back to each other pretty quick once the chaos had died down. As luck would have it, Kim had been walking Boomer when Eden’s Gate had arrived. She’d managed to get a couple of the general store clerks to safety and found a cattle shed to wait out the fight about a mile up the road.

It might’ve been the adrenaline getting him going, but Sharky could’ve sworn her tits were even bigger than yesterday.

Grace and Mary May reunited quick, but disappointingly did not start making out. Instead, they helped Kim cart Nick and Pastor Jerome off to Dr. Lindsey.

After they’d rounded up any remaining hostages, the team made their way back to Sharky as the stand-in replacement for the Deputy. That part didn’t surprise him. He was best mate, after all...after the dog, at least. The part that did surprise him was that the Cougars seemed to do that same.

Tracey surveyed the wreckage on her way toward the group with Sheriff Whitehorse and that tight-lipped Marshal in-tow.

“Jerome says Stammos got carted out with John’s people.” The woman announced. “They took the road down to the airport.”

“Then unless they’re plannin’ on looping back around, they’re probably headed to the ranch.” Adelaide replied.

“Probably a smart move after last time.” Hurk added.

The Sheriff inclined his head, incredulous. “Last time?”

“Long story.”

Sharky watched the disappointment pass over Whitehorse’s face. Must’ve felt shitty; losing all of his employees to the cult.

“I tried chasin’ ‘em down, Sheriff.” He said.

“And given how you’re dressed, Boshaw, it’s no surprise they were so quick to leave.”

“Okay. Ouch.”

“So what’s the plan?” Jess asked.

Tracey was already turning back around, headed for the truck she’d arrived in. “We keep liberating.” She answered. “Stammos called us to take back the valley, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“John’s ranch is almost the Southernmost point before the border.” Whitehorse elaborated. “If we do everything right, he won’t have many friends left to help him cross it once he gets word of us coming.”

“Sounds like the same plan as last time.” Adelaide commented.

“No stone unturned.” He affirmed. “Same as last time. Take care of John the same way we took care of Faith and bring our girls home.”

The Marshal, however, didn’t look as happy about that option. Dude always hated taking the long way around. “And what if John’s taken care of your Deputy before we get there?”

Sharky exchanged a look with the others.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

John’s fingers tangled in Cora's hair, hurriedly tugging out the damp tie and wincing when a caught snag caused the Deputy to hiss. “Sorry. Sorry.” He muttered, breathless.

“You’re - you’re certain this is okay.” She huffed against him. If there was any acknowledgement of the apology on her part, it was only in how she clawed at his vest, dragging his mouth back to hers.

“Not at all.”

“What about your -” A gasp briefly did the trick of silencing her, but then: “What about your brothers-”

“Please don’t mention my brothers right now.” John whined.

Cora eyed him. “Door’s locked?”

John stifled a chuckle at that. “No, why would it be?”

Cora eyed him dangerously.

“I’m kidding." He defended. "What, you think I let people walk in and out of here unannounced?"

“Fucking prick.”

“Obviously, I’m kidding. You’re a-aaah…” His retort dwindled when the blonde’s hands slid down his front, stopping short of the hem of his vest and creeping back up to his collar again. He pulled back to glare. “A captive.”

“And you’re sensitive.” She replied, simply.

“7 years is a long time.” John’s own hands fell from her hair, slipping down her sides until she couldn’t feel them anymore. “Not sure how much I can...handle.” That last phrase came cautiously. Awkwardly.

The blonde’s fingers traced back down while she listened, more quizzical than apprehensive at the warning.

To her, that sounded more like a challenge.

"What." John grunted at the smirk that played on her lips.

"Just the audacity of you asking for mercy."

A shiver worked its way out of him when she went lower, ghosting over his hips and then back up again. Deliberately avoiding the ever-insistent graze of an erection against her stomach, sporadically tensing against denim confinement whenever her hands got close. Every reminder of it sending a fresh wave of heat through her.

“Seriously-”

“Mr. Seed, either we carry on like this, or you fuck me. Right now.” The Deputy spoke low, watching the Baptist’s pupils dilate more with each word. “Either way, we’ll find out how much you can handle, but 3 years is also a long time. I’d hate for only one of us to break a streak.”

John stared, dumbfounded.

Then, his hands reappeared, tugging around her waist, wrenching her up and onto the countertop. Her wasted no time pushing her knees apart, drawing near enough between her legs that she could reach for his belt, but not close enough that she could find the friction she was looking for. His fingers pawed her thighs, then gripped hard when her fingertips ghosted over the bulge that impatiently jutted between them.

“Ah. Shit.” He shuddered, folding down to balance his forehead in the crook of her neck, holding onto her like she was the only thing keeping him standing. Cora found that she liked the idea of that. Ten times the amount of experience she had, and yet here he was, barely functional.

She pressed her palm against him, content with the hitch in his breath and the little jerk of his hips. A responding, dulled twitch pressed back. Through the obstruction of clothing, it was impossible to get a sense of him, but biology didn’t discriminate. She wanted him in her.

“Doing good.” Cora murmured against John’s temple, running her fingers through his hair in reassurance while his dug into her thighs in a vice grip.

“So good.” He choked when she slowly began to move back and forth. “So - so good. Feels - ah, fuck - let me -“

Maybe a little too quickly, Cora pulled herself closer to the edge of the counter, tugging John’s unbandaged hand further up her thigh and hoping he’d get the message while she busied herself with his belt.

She knew his smirk too well to mistake it for anything else when she felt him hum against her throat.

John straightened, pulling Cora’s attention back up to him. Lo and behold, he was looking as arrogant as ever; as if he hadn’t just been whining at her mercy. “Deputy, have a little patience.”

“After all that ranting about giving, you sure are selfish.”

“Oh, so you were listening.” He grinned, tracing a thumb back and forth over the junction of her hip. “Tell me, what happened to my little ranger who loved to play by the rules?”

“Hypocrite.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Hurry up.”

John flinched when Cora’s hand shoved beneath his still-fastened pants, palming him through his underwear. He managed to hold strong, though, even if his voice near-cracked. “Or what?”

“Or John Seed’s gonna come in his pants.”

Again, he twitched in her grasp, but his movement remained torturously slow.

Realisation hit the Deputy at his resistance.

He was getting a kick out of this.

He was testing her.

“How crazy does it drive you, not having total, complete control?" He asked. His thumb reached the seam of her pants, almost too light to feel. She still throbbed all the same.

"You're an asshole." Cora growled.

“You know, I always suspected you got off on that.”

“Evidence suggests it might be the other way around.”

“Answer me, Deputy.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’ll do just that if you don’t cooperate.” John tutted at her frustrated ineptitude at deciphering his belt buckle. “Are you really in a position to be calling the shots?”

Cora stopped to consider that, locking to his gaze with a scowl. Why did every interaction with him have to feel like a chess game?

Fine.

Not breaking eye contact, Cora simply pulled her sweater over her head in response.

John’s gaze broke immediately. He tried to recover, but the damage was done. There was no picking his composure back up after the attitude slid from his face and left him with nothing but prying eyes and a slackened jaw.

“Well,” He croaked, “when you put it that way…”

“Help me with this.” Cora urged, still tugging at his belt. He acquiesced immediately, although with the two of them hastily fumbling with the same mechanism, the extra help wasn’t much better. John swore under his breath, pulling out of Cora’s reach while she clicked her tongue. “Does that thing double as a chastity belt?”

“It’s not my fault we have a single functional hand between us.”

“You stabbed me first.”

“For God’s sake - fuck - got it.” John sighed, finally unbuckling the monstrosity, rushing back to the blonde’s reach. She dealt with her own belt while he hurried with his jeans, tattooed fingers shaking. The moment he’d succeeded, his hands flew to her waist, revering bare skin and savouring her impatience for him to touch her where she wanted to be touched.

She would have cussed him out, had his teeth not grazed her lip, refreshing the taste of him with his tongue slipping into her mouth - right as his left hand wriggled it way into her pants and pressed.

Cora saw white for a second. Untouched nerves awakening in a frenzy that had her gasping into that bastard’s mouth. Jesus, she could feel the grin on his face.

“Hm. Hypocrite.” Came the reminder, followed by a strangled noise when her fingers enclosed around his cock; separated still by underwear, but gripping him all the same. His body shoved against her, crushing their arms between them in the attempt to find his way closer - to find more. “Ah - shit. Careful-”

A knock from beyond the kitchen sent a collective jolt through both of them, and John’s head whipped around in a panic.

“W-...what is it?!” He called, voice cracking.

“John, have you got a minute?” A deeper voice Cora didn’t recognise responded from outside.

“Doubt I’ve got more than ten seconds.” The Baptist hissed to himself. “I recall saying emergencies only! Ask yourself - is this something I need to find John for, or can I find my own way?”

Christ. He spoke to his followers the same way she spoke to hers.

“O-okay. Sorry.”

John didn’t reply. He simply turned his attention straight back to Cora, stroking up and down along the material of her underwear. His cock twitched impatiently in her hand, at odds with his leisurely pace. “You’re soaked through.” He taunted, but the tremor in his voice delivered it as a revelation.

Cora’s brow furrowed. She stroked once, sweeping her thumb over the head of him. “Speak for yourself, Baptist.”

A grunt sounded from the man. His hands moved quickly, yanking her to the edge of the counter and gripping at her pants. Tugging the material down and off her legs while he dropped to his knees on the floorboards. The Deputy’s initial instinct to draw herself together and hide from scrutiny was jarred by the way the Baptist gaped between her legs. Like closing them would be some cruel disservice to him. So, she let him stare. Held still while he drew close, dotting a kiss to her knee and shivering when his beard skimmed her inner thigh.

“Thank you for wearing white.” John murmured, stroking a careful thumb over the cotton, leaving only aching want in his wake.

“That a religious thing?” She tried not to croak, raising an eyebrow.

“Not in this circumstance. Just...thought about it.”

“Oh. You just - casually speculated on the colour of my underwear.”

“Something like that.” He continued the action. Back and forth. Up and down. Trying to find the same spot as earlier. For all his enthusiasm, however, he was still out of practice and just as impatient as she was. He’d draw close, but any hitch in her breath pulled his gaze up to her face, searching for praise and losing his place in the process.

When his mouth suddenly descended upon her, though, fingers giving up their place to yank the material to the side and grant him direct access, the Deputy found herself uncomfortably on the complete other end of the spectrum. From not enough, to way, way too much. A squeak shot out of Cora, and her legs clamped shut on John’s skull just as her fingers gripped his hair in an attempt to pry him away from her. Both actions earned a separate “Ow,” from the man.

John pouted up at her. “What?”

“Stand up.” “I like where I am right now.” He protested. “You’re not shy, are you? I want to-”

Cora tugged at him anyway. “I don’t want you to practice on me. I want you to fuck me.”

John blinked. “Okay - not shy.” He pulled himself back to a stand, averting his gaze while she guided his hips back between her legs. “I’m - er - it’s just…-”

He bit back a resigned curse when her fingers circled his erection once again, passing over the noticeable slick of precum on strained cotton.

“Just what?”

“I'd like you to - enjoy it." The admission came. "And I’m not going to last.”

“Good. I'll enjoy that just fine.” Cora replied, earning a questioning look. “Won’t look so smug anymore when you’re coming in record time.”

John's expression darkened at the challenge, but his hands shook as they swatted her away, struggling to manoeuvre the fly of his underwear into just the right position.

Anger was still the quickest way to get through to him.

“Just you wait." He warned. "I’ll-“

She cut him off with a kiss, pulling his hips against her, and his threats evaporated. They were pressed too close for her to see, but his cock grazed the hem of her underwear, finally pulled free. Then, John’s fingers hooked around the material, pulling it to one side.

The Baptist held her gaze, brow upturned like he was worried.

Was he nervous?

“Ready?” He asked.

He looked...kind of pretty like this. Pupils blown. Lips a little swollen. Hair all messed up. Eye-contact wasn't so uncomfortable when he looked this wrecked.

She nodded. "Yeah." The pitch of his gasp matched hers when the head of him slid with dangerous ease along the wetness of her cunt. All she could focus on was the heat of him. The blunt press, drawing closer and closer to her entrance until he was finally lined up. The ache of resisting muscles and relieved nerve-endings when he pushed forward, torturously slow, concentration and bliss fighting for equal real estate on his face, and okay, he was exceptionally pretty like this.

A tiny little 'fuck' crept out of John when Cora sighed at the feeling, insistently encouraging, tugging. She needed more. It wasn't fair. Didn't fucking matter how long for; she just needed to feel him. All of him.

Then, when he was barely two inches in, another knock at the door pulled her out of her stupor.

“John? I spoke to Andy. He says it’s an emergency.”

John froze. Then, his eyes scrunched shut in a long-suffering grimace, and once again, his forehead dropped to Cora’s shoulder. Frustration radiated from him, infecting her within moments.

"Has he been out there the whole time?" She grunted.

"Christ." The Baptist sounded almost amused at that. He pulled back to offer a half-smile.

He had to investigate.

Cora, meanwhile, had no patience for his imminent departure. Her legs locked against his hips, but he was gently prying himself away already, muttering repeated, gasped apologies at her protests.

“I’ll be right there!” He called back, already resetting his belt. “Give me a minute.”

“Are you kidding?” Cora hissed, sliding down from the counter.

“I’ll be 30 seconds. I swear. Then we can - we can go upstairs, and we can stay there. Emergency or not.” John assured her, punctuating his words with kisses wherever he could land them while she struggled to multitask between receiving and yanking her pants back on. Then, he pulled away completely, stumbling out of the kitchen on visibly shaky legs.

Cora took a moment to silently lament before heading back out into the foyer, buckling her belt while she surveyed the space in an attempt to distract herself from impotent fucking rage.

John murmured away with someone outside, half-visible through the gap he’d left in the door. His arms had crossed, but with his back to her, she couldn’t discern his mood any further.

Nonetheless, her concern grew, and when the man said his goodbyes with a nod and entered the building once more, the Deputy found it had good reason to.

John passed through the room, not sparing her a glance. He snatched the radio he’d abandoned on the coffee table, but to her fleeting relief, simply clipped it onto his belt and moved on.

He’d turned pale.

“Hey.” Cora frowned, following him to the trophy cabinet where he began rifling through memorabilia. “What’s going on?”

“We have to leave.” He muttered, unboxing a small case. It rattled as he shook the content into his hand. 38 Specials, most making it to his back pocket, some clinking to the floor, forgotten when he moved on to withdraw his revolver and tucked it into the back of his pants. “Now.”

John continued hurrying about with Cora hot on his heels, unable to really do anything but watch him build a collection of valuables on the dining table. His coat. His keys. A particularly raggedy old bible. He made some effort to conceal the zip-lock bag he pulled from behind the décor on the mantle; definitely the source of the odour that permeated the foyer.

They traded a look - critical on Cora’s part, and John rolled his jaw while he shoved it out of sight, irritated. Perhaps embarrassed.

“Did you know?” He huffed.

“Mr. Seed, I studied in Colorado. I know what a half-bag looks like.”

“Did you know about the Cougars?” John’s voice hardened. “According to the Chosen, there’s one hell of a convoy inbound from the North. Did you know?”

Oh.

Fuck.

“Oh. Fuck.” Cora noted, still too dazed to even bother lying. “I called them in.”

They actually came?

“Wonderful.” John had stopped to run a hand through his hair. “Truly. Thank you.”

“Well sure, but I don’t see what good they’re gonna do you. They’re probably here to-”

“Sarcasm, Cora.”

“That makes more sense."

John started to pace, then, relenting. Dispersing his temper. He tugged the radio from his belt, holding it to his chin. “Joseph, for God’s sake, come in.”

Half a minute passed by. The little curses under John’s breath became more punctuated until his patience thinned. He angled the dial, and then stopped. Examining the station he’d been using, incredulous.

His gaze flickered to her for a split-second, eyes narrowing, and Cora’s stomach coiled.

Shit.

He knew.

She winced while the Baptist strode past her, anticipating his approach to the phone, investigating an absent dial tone and her now-obvious tampering. He turned the machine over, holding up the ruined cord for her to see.

"Your handiwork, Deputy?" The smile that spread over his face was sharp as ever. The mask was back on.

Perhaps this hadn't been her best plan.

She should've let him go down on her when she had the chance.

#dont read these tags until after you've read the chapter ok PROMISE!!#have you finished the chapter yet-#have i filled enough space yet #PSYCH yall thought either of them deserved to get laid yet?#come back for quiet earth part 3: john's day gets exponentially worse aka the asswhoopin #john seed #john seed x female deputy #far cry 5 #far cry 5 fanfic #cora stammos

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wumblr · 4 years ago

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I'm not being a hater but why did you want to be visible at a protest? Like why test this? Everyone was wearing black so they couldn't be identified why would you WANT to stand out?

well since you said you weren’t a hater, i’ll try to give you the best answer i can without revealing too much but it’s a pretty complicated situation and the visibility test was weeks ago now

i’ve been thinking a lot about revolutionary tactics that reach a lot of people in a crowd without saying a word. recently this has taken the form of throwing bags of garbage through holes in the fence while the police shoot rock salt and pepper balls in my face, to get across my point that it’s worth a rock salt bruise to me, in order to show a hundred of my neighbors what i think about our police and trash, because since the international news coverage started, we’ve had a lot of new people showing up and learning lessons i struggled with during week one

the visibility test was similar, in that i hoped most people who saw me immediately looked up for a drone or a helicopter and wondered if i was visible from it. i hope someone i never talked to watched the news and found me. now none of them have to test the limit -- any color that stands out is theoretically sufficient, in a worst case scenario. call me a canary in the mine. i overheard someone say “i don’t trust lone wolf tactics” while i was at the justice center in the coat, and i chuckled and thought, that’s good. (i didn’t go alone, actually, and if shit had gotten bad that night i had several backup plans, although as george floyd showed us, no one is safe if four policemen want to kill you.)

this is maybe my sixth summer of protesting in portland so it was shocking to me to show up and try to read the room and fail some day week one, where people who i suspect later turned into some of the yellow shirt moms were handing out flyers about a “day of rest,” and so i tried to pass this information on and it ended in a minor confrontation and discussion with a few other people in the crowd about “peaceful protest.” (”why am i here if it’s a day of rest?” and “what are they doing in there if we’re resting out here?” are the points i specifically remember)

i think that must have been a different night than the optics test, but one thing it’s necessary to remember about week one in portland is that they tried to liberate the jail on the first night. then, so much of the “peaceful protest” energy was succesfully deflected by the aimless eastside marches during the first weeks, so the justice center was truly an organized conflict attempting to take ground at the jail. so, now that a lot of new people are showing up to learn the same things i learned, i’m finding myself saying “they’ll shoot us whether we act peaceful or not” and “there’s no such thing as a peaceful protest, all protest should be destructive towards the state” (and this is all muddying any attempts to take ground, any time someone new shows up and says “don’t antagonize the fence.” fuck the fence, destroying it is our only access to police defunding, since our political leaders didn't listen to 7hrs of unanimous public testimony at the city council budget meeting.) most of these serious attempts to take ground have probably died out since the federal presence arrived, but at this point, my thought is kind of that the justice center was a poor target because it was so fortified, and maybe we should have tried a smaller precinct first

most of my tactics are not things i would recommend others try, but because i’ve been out in portland for most of the last ~60 days, my tactics have changed. i’m operating under the assumption that i am identifiable and have been identified, they probably already know at least one of my fake names, and i’m banking on the hope they’re not smart enough to catch them all. personally i have very little left to lose so i’m operating under the assumption that it would be better if they shot me with a live round than someone else. (i was operating under most of these assumptions back in june, so if some data warehouse policing chud at the facility in draper utah is reading this, then wow, i’m surprised you made it this far. can you count all the red herrings in this post?)

everyone’s tactics have changed. the moms are in yellow, the dads are in orange, scientists and healthcare workers are in labcoats and veterans are in uniform. some people are in costumes i guess and some girl just got arrested in denim for trying to give the riot cops flowers. we’re not all in black anymore. so, even now, if i wanted to conduct a visibility test, i would need a different tactic to avoid blending in with all the dads

i used the orange trench coat once, and outside of that, even within black bloc it’s possible to make multiple significant changes to your appearance (even changing up whether you wear a mask or a bandana helps). i probably have to wear different stuff for a couple days because a woman in a pikachu suit tried to fight me at 430am for throwing a glass bottle over the fence (and maybe she was right, but bystanders i don’t know told her to let it go)

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yfere · 6 years ago

Text

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E63

My initial personal notes for this sort of—ended, at a very specific part of the episode, which says something about how stressful combat was. Thank you to @Alarnia @softazelma @handelgamer and Meenah for helping out with data entry. Masterpost here, data entry here.

Corrections: An additional +5 to Caleb/Caduceus from last week for “I guess I want what you want” from Caduceus. That’s a lot

-30 to Everyone/Detective Work. What’s that saying? Assumptions make an ass out of you and me? Despite their sincere and assiduous questioning and investigations, the M9 are made to learn that lesson the hard way, with everything they think they know from the scout to the “drow” to the blond dude to battle strategy turning out to be horribly mistaken.

+5 to Fjord/Caduceus as Fjord specifically inquires “Caduceus, how are you feeling” like the considerate worrywart he is before the Bright Queen meeting, and Caduceus getting very excited about finally having the money to pursue his personal Sword project for resident Sword-Swallower Fjord when they get paid. Caduceus supporting Fjord’s ideas, and joining the Micro Plan team opposed to Beau and Caleb’s Macro Plan Team.

-10 to Nott/Being A Team Player. On the one hand, this sweetheart offered to stay up all night on watch and take exhaustion so that her precious friends could get some uninterrupted sleep. On the other hand, she encountered a peak #Jenga moment, unfortunately not making the same WIS save Vax did, and stuck a bunch of arrows into Yasha. (also -30 to Nott/Yasha, with “I never liked you” and “Stop. Fucking. Hitting. Me.”)

+11 to Nott/Jester as Jester rescues Nott from the Charm! And is also hella charming herself, all “We never said that Nott” and playfully bumping into her when Nott talks about not trusting goblins (+2 to Nott/Fantasy Racism), plotting every type of Shenanigan together from tattoos to forming their own country, and shouting “HOW MUCH” at the exact same time when they get paid by the Bright Queen. They’re so much on the same page it’s terrifying.

+13 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester A pretty amazing week for this triad, between all three of them being Strategic Masterminds in effusive agreement with each other, over everything from being in the building to letting the attack go off without a hitch to murdering everyone in the meeting. Caleb and Jester together saving Fjord from his abyssal attempts to stealth, Caleb and Fjord’s Mutual Worrywarting over Jester’s long absence, and both Fjord and Caleb’s spellwork being employed to Save Jester on her moth mission.

+15 to Fjord/Jester but Fjord’s version of spellcaster-to-the-rescue was a lot more flashy, and he suffered being thrown around and bruised for her sake. That’s love. Jester notices this and thanks him, to his extreme flusterment, gives him credit for the Gold Chain Mercenary information, and plans with him as a Disguising Duo to fake being the hobgoblin and drow together, and we all know that those who engage in Jester Plots gain points. Points taken away because the spying/mole conversation was probably somewhere around the opposite of cute, you cannot convince me I’m supposed to enjoy listening to people discussing checking out moles for diseases. Like…no. That’s gross and not in the fun way.

+4 to Fjord/That One Gnoll as he gets thrown—head over heels! into the alleyway. Also of note is Fjord saying “You’re strong!” in what sounds like a suspiciously flirty drunken tone, while bruised and spreadeagled on the street. We learn more about you every day, Fjord.

+17 to Caleb/Jester as Jester tries very hard to employ her spellwork and Pass Without a Trace to Save The Caleb (#ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress), Caleb’s buffing as usual serving as an Expression of Affection, and Caleb coming up with Goth Moth Shenanigans for Jester to spy with, demonstrating not only his implicit trust in her but also how keenly he’s tuned into Jester’s preferred aesthetic, of all things. Turning to Jester first for help with the dragonborn, Jester elbowing the shit out of Caleb, and looking to Caleb to count out their gold like the fey child he is because she’s tuned into his quirks as well! Discussing making a coffee table together! Jester alone trying to play dumb about the Scourger business even as Nott Fuck-Secrets the Brave puts a blinking sign over Caleb when they’re with the Bright Queen, perhaps sensing (a beat late) that maybe Caleb isn’t super eager to talk about that all the time.

+7 to Yasha/Jester as even Moth!Jester knows how to make Yasha feel like a fairy princess, alighting on her finger like the soft and thoughtful gal she is.

+8 to Caleb/Fjord as they continue to work Very Well together with crowd control and murdering poor defenseless scouts and their horses. Fjord being very much “on the same page” with Caleb re: everything, except maybe the horse-killing, for which we may expect point losses as he makes plans to talk to that motherfucker (before or after he talks to that motherfucker, though?) But, use of Counterspell, that quintessential Cool Caleb spell? That’s Fjord’s magical crush to the rescue, though point loss for them all letting the “drow” get away anyway.

-4 to Caduceus/Metaphors. He thinks making barrels is like putting on pants, and gets horribly muddied. Then, just when he thinks he has a handle on that analogy, Beau changes it around on him and starts talking about wagon wheels! He just can’t win.

-6 to Caleb/Task Switching This boy does not respond well to sudden changes in plans. You tell him to stop the dragonborn, he will pick the Most Effective Method Of Accomplishing That, subtlety and consequences be damned. Does not seem to process that they are not in fact planning on murdering/imprisoning Moro and her employee when the fighting is over, because They Already Discussed This, That Was The Plan, Why Are You Changing The Plan?

+8 to Caleb/Caduceus. A tumbleweed of a week for these two, unfortunately, except that Caleb chose Caduceus for his Special Dunamancy Buffing (Skin Contact! Magical Expressions of Love!), and Caduceus finishing off the enemy Caleb had been trying and trying for ages to murder—appropriately, with fire. Proving their compatibility in how neither of them mind hanging around the smell of rotting flesh, which unlike moles is romantic because it’s Goth.

+6 to Beau/Yasha Beau attempts to grab arrows out of thin air to save Yasha, and hot damn would that have been a slam dunk in points if she succeeded. These two continuing their Battle Couple vibes, with Beau looking to Yasha to figure out what the hell is going on and supporting her in her fight against the assholes.’

+16 to Beau/Jester for flirty hellos in the midst of battle, and Jester instantly reassuring Beau that Dairon won’t kill her, she’s so powerful and strong. Beau thinking of only Jester in her Very Shouty Plotting, thinking Jester can totally singlehandedly handle the whole rendezvous situation by herself and with two spells, because Jester is That Cool.

+350 to Beau/Stress (and +20 to Beau/Nerdom) as Beau’s copious anxiety-notes come to the rescue while they speak with the Bright Queen. Anxiously admitting she “thought of that” to every doomsday scenario presented to her about Dairon, half-screaming about the possibility of being murdered, and shrinking into herself as she says that maybe—maybe she can get away with not telling Dairon everything. Caleb employing Frumpkin to scarf around her because she’s starting to become even more of a basket case than he is. (Also, +12 to Caleb/Cat-Shaped Creatures, with this, Frumpkin surveillance, and cat-beats-horse badassery)

+10 to Fjord/His Inner Bard because apparently rhyming is just his thing now—addicted after “How much time, Keen Mind?” we now have the instantly iconic “Analysis Paralysis” and the return of the horrible, wailing Song of Distraction which seems specifically calibrated to induce vertigo and shut down brain function.

+10 to Caleb/Essik as Essik repeatedly vouches for the M9’s trustworthiness and capabilities “…and my tutelage.” Because the Bright Queen definitely needed to know that last part. Said in a sufficiently odd tone of voice that the Bright Queen “gives him a look” because she knows her spymaster, and he has apparently been sucked dry of subtlety for this conversation

+12 to Jester/The Bright Queen because Jester is fixated on what the Bright Queen is wearing at all given times, apparently, and gets squirmy and blushy over blue shimmery gems, and she cannot bear to leave without telling the Bright Queen how beautiful her outfit is, gosh, and daydreaming about tattooing her, which would involve contact with Skin and the possibility for Undress as well. Jester also outs herself as secretly wanting the BQ to be her sugar momma, hoping for an expensive dress to be gifted to her in return for the information they shared.

+25 to the Mighty Nein/The Skeletons in Their Closet as the Mighty Nein channel Leaky Tap vibes by bedding down with a mystery corpse. This time, one they can eat, theoretically. Also, that business with the Scourgers, and Orphanmaker???

-100 to The Mighty Nein/Breakfast. It’s a pattern now guys. You don’t eat your breakfast, you get beat to shit. Learn your lesson and get your morning calories in.

#critical role #cr spoilers #widofjorester #widofjord #widojest #beaujester #beauyasha #jestasha #nott the best detective agency #fjorester #nottasha #shadowgast #calessik #clayleb #fjorclay #shipping calculus #god it's hard to remember all these ship names while tagging

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fuse2dx · 4 years ago

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June '20

Trials of Mana

Maybe not the highest profile remake Square-Enix have put out in recent memory, but one that was pretty exciting for me. I played a fan translation of the Super Famicom original some 20 years ago, so while it's not particularly fresh in my head, there's just enough there to enjoy some infrequent little pangs of nostalgia. The move to 3D has made for some welcome changes to to combat - jumping adds a vertical element to combat that wasn't present before, and enemy specials being clearly telegraphed and avoidable puts a little more control in your hands. There's still a good amount of 16 bit jank though - combo timing feels unreliable, the camera's often a pain, there's plenty of questionable hit detection, and you definitely wouldn't want to leave your fate solely in the hands of your party's AI. Willing to put most of this aside, what actually mattered more to me was that it still had the kind of playful, breezy nature, it looks and plays nicely, and that it progresses at a nice clip. Party selection will change the way you fight moment-to-moment, but only provides minor and very brief deviance from the main storyline, most of which is the kind of schlocky cartoon villainy that will have you looking for a skip button before it would illicit any kind of emotional response. But you know what? Overall, I still enjoyed it a lot.

So while it may not be revolutionising the action RPG, what it does show is that Square-Enix is capable of acknowledging their history of previously untranslated works, and that they also now have a pretty good template for getting a B-tier remake of such titles out in a reasonable timeframe. Where do I send my wish list in to, team?

Sayonara Wild Hearts

As a one-liner found on the back of the box, 'A pop album video game' is about as on-the-nose as it gets. The old "it's not for everyone" adage is definitely applicable, and its defiance of traditional video game metrics is not in any way subtle. How sophisticated is the gameplay? Not particularly. How long is it? Not very. But how does it make you feel? Now you're talking. It presents a simple but deeply relatable story of a broken heart, and leads from there with a catchy tune into a fast and colourful onslaught of new ideas, perspectives, and concepts. That is to say: it has the potential to make you feel all kinds of things.

One especially celebratory note was how well the game is structured to fit into the album structure it boasts about. Stages flow quickly into one another, and while shorter, more compounding numbers are often about introducing new ideas and themes, moving on to the next is a few simple button presses and a brief, well-hidden loading window away. Inevitably there are more standout stages, those that feel like the hit singles; the longer, verse-chorus-verse type joints that grant the space for more fleshed out visual story telling, and that smartly synchronise their percussive hits, soaring vocals and the like to appropriate beats of play. A lot of the gameplay can easily (and cynically) be reduced to "it's an endless runner", but to liken this to a cheap re-skin of a confirmed hit-maker is to wilfully dismiss so much of what it does better and so much beside. You can play it on damn near everything, and for the time it takes, it's well worth doing.

Twinkle Star Sprites

I've meant to play this countless times before. I've almost certainly passed it by while strolling through arcades, the Saturn version has never been hoovered up into my collection, and the PS2 collection this particular version belongs to - ADK Damashii - is no longer a cheap addition to anyone's library. The digital version of it for PS4 however was however recently on sale at a point that saw me receive change from a fiver. David Dickinson would be proud.

Having now credit-fed my way through the game's brief arcade mode, there's no doubt in my mind that the nuance of its systems are going to be glossed over in this rather ham-fisted appraisal. At least at face value, there's plenty of character and charm to appreciate in its colourful and cutesy style. As a two-player, vertically split-screen title, its a pretty clean break from a lot of a shooter's typical characteristics - rather than 6(ish) stages of hell, its a series of one on one battles - and all the better suited to 2 players for it. As enemy waves come at you, taking them out in chains can generate attacks to the other player; however if these attacks are too small then it's entirely possible they'll be killed off again, and an even bigger attack will come straight back at you. Think of a bit like competitive Tetris, but with shooting rather than puzzling. It's a neat and curious little game, that's likely best experienced properly, with a friend on the other side of the sofa to hurl abuse at.

Blasphemous

Let's get the lazy-but-effective description out of the way: it's a 2D MetroidVania Souls-like. You've got "that" type of map, definitely-not-bonfires and definitely-not-Estus Flasks. You are encouraged to return to your body upon death, the combat system is very reliant on parries and dodge-rolls, and there's even a dedicated "lore" button to use on every item you pick up.

While this likely sounds dismissive, it's more about addressing the elephant in the room. To give some context, these are both types of games that I love, and the end product here has done a pretty good job of bringing them together. The exploration is pleasantly open - gatekeeping is typically done less by specific items and abilities, and more by just which areas you're brave enough to poke your head into. It's a little bit of a shame that most of the new abilities have to be switched out for others rather than adding to a core arsenal of moves, but at the same time its base setup gives you plenty of ways to deal with any number of combat scenarios. This is of course best demonstrated by the boss encounters, which are wonderful affairs - big, gruesome, thoughtful variations on approaches to combat, which drop in at a nice pace to keep you from ever getting too cocky. The theming in general is wonderful, and the name is certainly appropriate - there's a lot of deep catholic inspiration in its gorgeous backdrops and environments, but then layered on top are some chilling elements of religious iconography, along with a cast of disturbing devotees and martyrs to sufficiently unsettle you. It's arguably a small intersection of the gaming population that it'll appeal to, but if you're in there, it's a real treat.

Death Come True

The first thing you see upon starting is the game's central character breaking right through the fourth wall to tell you directly not to stream the game or to share anything that might spoil the story. The first rule of Death Come True, and so on. I consider myself fairly well versed in such etiquette, so to then have the screenshot function entirely disabled for the whole game felt a little like being given a slap on the wrists for a crime I had no intention of committing. I don't envy the team trying to market it, that's for sure.

The reasoning behind this is clear at least - it's a game that is in total service of its plot. Consider a mash-up of a 'Choose your own adventure' book and a series of full-motion videos, and you're mostly there. Unless you were to walk away from the controller or perhaps fall asleep, there seems very little chance that your play time will deviate from the 3 hour estimate - which will certainly put some people off, but is understandable given the production values, and personally, quite welcome in the first place. In terms of replay value, there are branching paths that a single route will obviously skip: as an example of this, in looking up a screenshot to use in lieu of taking my own, I found a promotional image of the central cast, only to not recognise one of them at all. One thing that such a short run-time does ensure though, is that minute-for-minute, there's plenty of action; without wanting to speak about the story itself (rather than in fear of reprise for doing so, I might add), it kicks off with plenty of intrigue, shortly thereafter switching to full-on action, and then strikes a pretty fine balancing act between the two for its run time. It doesn't get quite as deep or as complex as I would've hoped given the team's pedigree, but I do like it, and think it'd actually be a pretty fun title to play with folks who normally don't concern themselves with games. By the same token, it's probably not for the 'hardcore' types looking for something to string out over dozens of hours.

Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight

After the generous main course that was Persona 5 Royal, I figured that I'd follow up with dessert. I did however wait until a weekend where I knew my girlfriend would be away, so as not to trigger any unpleasant flashbacks to looped battle themes, and the chirpy, indecipherable voices of Japanese schoolkids that made it so painful to endure as a non-gaming cohabitant.

Immediately, it's clear that very little has changed since Persona 4's take on the rhythm action genre. The core game, while still functional and fairly enjoyable, hasn't changed a lick. Perhaps the most notable improvement to the package as a whole is in scaling back on a dedicated story mode, and instead just having a series of uninspired but far less time-consuming set of social link scenes that pad things out. The biggest flaw is repeated wholesale though, in that trying to stretch out noteworthy tracks from a single game's playlist into a dedicated music game leads to repetition - and there is a much less prolific gathering of artists involved in remixes this time. I'd be willing to wager that it's a very similar story once again with Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight, but I'm not about to ruin a perfectly good dinner to start with the sweet just to find out, if you'll excuse a second outing of the metaphor. Still, again compare these to Theatrhythm though - where Square-Enix plundered the Final Fantasy series in its entirety, along with spin-offs and other standalone titles to put together a library of music worthy for the one single game. Cobble the tunes from Personas 3-5 together into one game, and you're still coming up very short by comparison.

#trials of mana #seiken densetsu 3 #sayonara wild hearts #twinkle star sprites #blasphemous #death come true #persona 5 dancing in starlight

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calitsnow · 5 years ago

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So I was still thinking about the trailer of the sequel to season 2 of ducktales 2017 and thinking again about this scene:

Especially when you hear Fenton screaming for Gyro. (Yes I really like Gyro, and he can be a little too involved in all my scenarios but I want emotion with this character who lives in insecurity)

It probably means that Gyro is in danger but I wonder why? Well obviously the obvious situation: the alien invasion

However, I try to find a more specific reason why Gyro could be a more "specific" target of this invasion. More during my last post speaking already of this moment, a comment of @andrewmoocow caught my attention and stimulated my imagination, it spoke about a possible alien kidnapping, and frankly it is likely, after why Gyro in particular ?

In answer I will tell you, because of the asset that it could represent in the eyes of Lunaris. I mean, Lunaris is manipulative, he skillfully (it must be admitted) led Della to hand him the rocket plan and convince his people to lead an invasion on Earth. But perhaps Lunaris wants to acquire more weapon or means to move in space to prove the power of the Moon. Lunaris seems to be a warrior who seems to want a life of combat and greatness not a coward life like his father (we can feel the backstory). However, the people of the Moon do not seem to have any intellectual asset that can fulfill the role of scientist who can build weapons and ships especially. Since they had to wait for the arrival of Della and 10 years later (I think), to finally succeed in obtaining the plan of a rocket After it is true that the people of the Moon possesses laser pistols and vessels with guns (which proves that they know how to improve the rocket), so maybe they have a deep knowledge of firepower but not how to say..... displacement (?).

Watch as he looks pleased with him when he finally gets the precious textbook.

So it would be possible for Lunaris to search for someone who could build more sophisticated ships or other things, and who better than the one who built the spear of Selene. But how Lunaris could know that Gyro is the one who created it and well because of a small detail that does not seem so important.

Okay okay I know it's a minimalist design and it could be interpreted by someone who does not know Gyro as a little drawing of support / guide but we can recognize Gyro, moreover this drawing is in the manual that Lunaris probably had to study in depth and it's Gyro, he had to leave his trademark. Otherwise it would not be the first time we slip a detail / a replica etc ... which turns out to be very important in the future or be a foreshadowing.

So Lunaris would recognize Gyro and when an opportunity arises he will try to kidnap him or kidnap him. What can explain why Fenton will have to go to Japan to learn more about Gyro to try to find out where he might be after his abduction or that Gyro was there after the invasion.

After I thought of a scenario that remains an entire speculation and which is based only on extracts of sentences that can be taken out of their context and my crazy imagination. It seems that the Mcduck family is the main target of Lunaris, why? I do not know .... because it is the family of Della who is seen as a traitor by the people of the Moon, so this family is seen as criminals and Lunaris uses them as a means of motivation for his people is favorable to the invasion for their invasion? Maybe ... but then why are not there Gladstone and Fethry?

Well let's get back to our sheep, and if season 2 ended on a crisis situation like in Steven universe at the end of season 4 [spoilers alert] where Steven embark on the ship of Aquamarine to save his friends and having them told the latter that it was Rose Quartz and we are left on this crisis situation pending the start of season 5, so why ducktales 2017 would not do the same? (Although the situation may also take place during the episode if it happens)

And that it would be this crisis situation ,which could be at the origin of Scrooge's face:

well it would be the kidnapping of Gyro AND children or at least some, I think especially to Louis. Imagine, Scrooge and his family managed to defeat Glomgold and all his team and to repel the alien invasion (assuming that these events at the same time) and then when we thought it's was over, Lunaris comes out of nowhere, gets to catch children or one of them and maybe Gyro then takes them to a ship, while using the child (ren) as a means of pressure can be and finally managed to escape with them in front of the horrified eyes of Scrooge and the rest of the family. Louie screaming desperately for his mother and Gyro for Gizmoduck. Indeed in the trailer we can hear scream Mom! Thanks a lot to @ byrdybyrd02 for pointing out me -, - 'because being a french with a sufficient level in english I can miss details or misunderstand; brief. That's why Louie could be the victim of the kidnapping unless it is Della who is a victim and who is taken away from his family still crying desperately for his children. The situation would then be repeated: Scrooge would once again lose someone important to him who could not do anything by watching Lunaris go into space. This could lead to a significant cash outlay from Scrooge to find Lunaris, which could influence the bet between him and Glomgold (I do not know if the bet / year ends at the end of season 2) . Vultures could also be involved, revealing also their potential to be antagonists as it is understood in comic # 8

The victim could also be Fenton and it would be Gyro should have saved him but .... I think it does not work.

After the other question is it would be wise to separate Gyro or Louie or children or Della from others, probably restricting their time of appearance or devoting an episode to them. Taking into account that this situation of kidnapping will last only a short time at the beginning of the season 3 and that the people of the Moon or a part is decided to stop the revolution and would remain living on the ground (?).

Firstly, if Gyro and Louie were to involve both in this situation, it would be interesting to study their relationship but Louie is already developing a link with Goldie but one does not prevent the other.

Second possibility Gyro and Della, we already had a glimpse of the relationship between Della and Gyro that seems to be electric (?). But it could really be interesting to see them both interact, and see them try to cooperate. In addition, it would be an opportunity to discover Gyro's involvement in the construction of Selene's spear and may even have noticed Gyro's guilt for Della's disappearance and how it could be affect his life. By the way the fact that it is Della who is taken could repeat his disappearance which could be as interesting. After that could also play on the possible involvement of Penumbra. I do not think she will stay with Lunaris until the end of season 2 and she will be entitled to her bow of redemption and the development of her friendship with Della. But if it is his last separate it can be complicated but Penumbra could show a burning desire to save Della to show his forgiveness.

[By the way, a little parenthesis to all this speculation]

How Della will react to the betrayal of Lunaris and Penumbra

Okay, let's go back to things a little more built. Della believes in Lunaris and Penumbra and she thinks that the next time she sees them, it's as friends. And I'm really worried about Della and her reaction when she's going to understand.

Lunaris and Penumbra are not on his side

They used it to get a way to come to earth

She is therefore responsible for the alienated invasion

That no one of the people of the moon believes in her despite all the honesty she has shown

And that Donald is now a prisoner (because of her indirectly)

I must surely forget but those are for me the most egregious. I would like to linger a little on some:

Della will probably run to Penumbra to hug her, and there Penumbra shoots her, stopping Della's momentum for joy, who does not understand the situation. Della who will react only when his family is targeted. And all the emotion when Della will understand the whole situation that she has caused.

In any case Della's confidence will surely be affected and may be more difficult to trust and to be forgiven

[End to the little parenthesis]

So we resume with our small option:

The last option is the one where only Della or Louie is kidnapped and I do not know what it could bring.

In all three situations, one can have the opportunity to explore the background of Lunaris and what is hiding behind his intentions.

And all will end up with a rescue filled with emotions.

Also (I know I insist only on this scene, but I swear I'll try to talk about the rest X) even if my theories are not the most well-founded and sometimes very extrapolated) I can not locate this scene, impossible to recognize Scrooge's collar on only one other image.

And Scrooge doesn't have his glasses!!! (Thanks @monkey-li ;)) I do not know where to place this scene, I thought it was his pajamas but no ....

That's all my thinking, I may have been carried away X) by the whole situation but I hope that you will still have seen some interesting things ^^. I remind you that a big part of all this is pure speculation and attempts at analysis.

Feel free to share your ideas (in respect of those of others of course> ~ <)

#ducktales 2017 #louie duck #scrooge mcduck #season 2 #season finale #della duck #Lunaris #Penumbra #Gyro Gearloose #theory

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curlicuecal · 7 years ago

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This is kind of a self-indulgent question, but how do you deal with people who VERY BADLY want to be your internet friend, and they'd be Crushed if you stopped talking to them, but you just don't have the energy for it/are beginning to resent them for it? (And for other reasons you can't bring up because whiffs of criticism squeeze their "I'm a terrible person" reflex)

Oh, gosh. As someone who has been on BOTH sides of this experience, this speaks to me right where I live.

If you’re at all like me, this stuff is difficult from several angles:

Firstly, I like people to be happy and not unhappy. If I can do things to make people happy, I tend to want to do them. Other people’s (un)happiness often feels like it weighs more strongly than my own (un)happiness.

Secondly, I am extremely rejection-sensitive myself, so this ups my perception of the harm to the other person. It also makes the whole topic feel extremely charged, b/c if *I* secretly don’t like this person for no reason they can control then maybe other people secretly don’t like me for reasons I can’t control. Maybe all my friends secretly hate me! (They don’t. I’ve checked.)

Thirdly, if I’m honest, I would like to be able to reject someone in a way that somehow causes zero change in their opinion of me, see previous All People Must Like Me At All Times Or I’ve Failed As A Human Being. (Also not true. I’ve checked on that one, too.)

Soooo yeah. This is one of those easier-as-a-bystander things, but here’s some things that have helped me.

-Untangle what you do control from what you don’t

You are in charge of your feelings and your actions. You CAN’T control (or even 100% predict) how the other person will react to them, so stop assigning yourself the task of being feelings!forecaster and emotions!wrangler.

Sometimes things in life (like you not manifesting the correct feelings) will make people feel bad in ways you can’t actually prevent or control. Give yourself permission to not try. Break ups hurt, and the idea that there is a Magical Correct Perfect way that will cause no hard feelings is, sadly, not a real thing. Pull off the band-aid fast or slow or however the heck you prefer. It’s gonna come off.

-Try not to project

Worth emphasizing: If they haven’t said it out loud, you don’t actually know what they’re thinking or feeling. Mind reading is a cognitive distortion, so try to spot when you’re falling into it. Ditto for fortune-telling (you don’t know how they’re going to react) or catastrophizing.

-Practice enthusiastic consent in relationships

Seriously. Do this *today.* Every time you find yourself in a position where you need decide to skype/message/reply/hang out with/otherwise spend emotional energy on this person" check in on your consent. Do you enthusiastically want to?

If not: don’t.

It is amazing how often this idea feels revolutionary. But you don’t owe strangers (or your friends) make-outs or sex just because it would make them happy, and similarly you don’t owe them a deep, emotional feelings jam. Or even a relationship. Neutrality towards someone is not harm.

Guilt is a toxic as fuck relationship dynamic, Do Not Do.

-Sometimes people don’t click

It’s not a referendum on someone’s character if you just don’t feel it the same way. You don’t need to be someone’s friend because they are nice. You don’t need to be someone’s friend just because you don’t have a compelling reason not to be. You don’t actually need a reason to not want to be someone’s friend. There are several billion perfectly nice people in the world you will not have time to be in either a platonic or romantic relationship with.

Also, having incompatible relationship needs doesn’t necessarily mean EITHER of you need to change as a person. It just means you have incompatible needs.

If you feel bad for not being able to be the Nice Thing in this person’s life, go leave a comment on someone’s fanwork. There, you’ve brightened someone’s day.

-It’s not rude to not answer someone on the internet

This one’s hard for me! But seriously. Especially the less well you know someone, the less you owe them dropping everything to craft a response of any flavor on demand. Try not to frame it as “ignoring someone speaking to your face” and look at it more as “ignoring someone shouting vaguely in your direction across a crowded room.” I’m bad at small talk, so my rule of thumb is if I don’t have anything in particular to add to a conversation, I just…. don’t. “I liked ur post” does not mandate any particular response.

-Therapists get paid

Therapy is hard, emotionally-draining work aand that is why therapists get paid to do it, and why they only do it in a very specific, limited context. When you engage in therapy as a friend, it should be as part of mutually beneficial relationship. Does this mean that 2 friends always get the same benefits out of a relationship or that 2 friends will always have the same amount of spoons to spend on a relationship at any given time? No. But over the span of years it should probably feel like it evens out.

In my personal experience, starting as someone’s free therapist doesn’t usually work out well in terms of friendship. It feels nice to be helpful, but it’s a weird power imbalance, and best case scenario you’re both eventually going to have to work out new ways to relate to each other. Worst case scenario, one or both people’s spoons drastically change and suddenly you CAN’T continue the current dynamic and nobody’s got a safety net interaction-style to fall back on.

-You can understand and empathize with a reaction without having to prioritize it

You mentioned a “terrible person reflex”. And god, I feel that. But this is one of those areas where both of you have GOT to be aware of who is in charge of handling that reflex. (Hint: it is not you). It’s very similar to struggles with jealousy or any other cognitive distortion– they are real, painful emotions, but as distortions they are not based in reality. People outside your own brain can find some ways to provide reassurance, but they cannot manage them for you. Is there a way you can work out a ritualized shorthand for the long set of reassurances or nimble tap-dancing that it sounds like ensues from this reflex triggering? (Something like: “are we still friends?” “yep!”)

In particular, if you find that expressing a need/feeling leads to you setting that conversation aside for prolonged discussion of the other person’s needs or feelings THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY OR SUSTAINABLE PATTERN.

-Listen to your brain when it wants you to stop doing something that hurts

When you’re experiencing emotional overload, distress, or damage, a healthy brain is gonna take steps to protect you. That resentment? That is your brain giving you armor. That is emotional coping.

If you’re like me, and not always very tuned in to your own needs (I *can* so obviously I *should*). Sometimes your brain will just scale up the shouting (”Seriously, Stop Doing the Thing”) until you have to acknowledge it. One example is the “bitch eating crackers” phenomenon, where your brain escalates resentment of a person to the point where even the way they eat crackers starts to bother you. “Look at that bitch sitting there eating crackers.” This is not a good place to be in in a relationship. Repression is not a sustainable interaction style in a relationship.

-People that love you want you to be happy

If you are unhappy, that is important. If your happiness requires you taking a step back, *even in a way that hurts the other person*, most of your friends will want you to take that step. Plus side: this means that sharing a relationship problem will trigger good friends’ protective problem-solving rather than defensiveness. Or at the very least you know what they would want for you if they were in a better place.

The corollary to this is, of course, people that don’t value your happiness are not worth pouring your emotional energy into.

-If you’re waiting for the Thing That Will Give You Permission to Leave, “I want to” is sufficient reason

I have to include this because it is so damn important. Seriously. If you want out of a relationship, this is your sign. Go.

-Be aware that “do this or I’ll hurt myself” is also abuse

Also so damn important. Threats of physical violence to coerce behavior are Not Good. Run run run.

-You aren’t required to invest work in fixing a relationship, but if you DO want to put it in, here are some quick thoughts:

Switch to only engaging in ways, frequencies, and topics that you find rewarding. (ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT. DESIST FROM EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION.)

State your needs without feeling the required to offer detailed explanation or justification. (“I’m really stressed lately, so I need to only talk about casual things”)

Resist the urge to get drawn into guilt spirals. (”I’m not mad” + restate need).

Resist engaging with stuff that violates boundaries you’ve communicated–just ignore and switch the topic. Redirect any too-heavy stuff to other channels. (“Sounds like you need a therapist to talk to”; “Ugh, that sounds stressful, hope you find someone that can help you through that”; “Sounds like something you two will need to work out together”; + TOPIC CHANGE).

Shift some of the relationship work to the other person, such as strategizing ways to balance conflicting needs.

Frankly what I’m hearing from you is “I want to stop” so…. yeah, you can stop. Official Stranger On the Internet permission given.

ps, check out Captain Awkward’s tag on The African Violet of Broken Friendship, highly recommend.

#Anonymous #advice #curlicue has opinions #1k

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years ago

Photo

@plumb1tes

(The image was made by me)

It’s a real good image. I want to let you know from the beginning of this review that CD and I have both been raving about what a good troll Charyl is from the second she set (prosthetic) foot in our inbox. She’s so so creepy and we both love her so much.

FIRST: Alternia, and she’s closer to being in the Hiveswap setting then the Hivebent one.

I think given our current info re: Hiveswap all that tells us is that she is living before Feferi was hatched.

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why): Charyl (derived from one of the Deathstalker scorpion’s venom known to cause paralysis) Thytue (from a genus of scorpion called ‘Tityus’)

Age: 7.85 sweeps

Strife Specibus: Needlekind (the sewing kind)

I like it, especially since you can also swap it with the hypodermic kind. If I may suggest another option, maybe stringkind? She could use anything from silly string (comedic), to thread (thematic), to fishing line (deadly).

Fetch Modus: I can never think of a good one, lol.

I have two for you! The first is a simple SINGING MODUS based off Singer sewing machines.

The second is a CLAW CRANE MODUS like the ones you see in arcades and are invariably rigged to some extent. I like this for a few reasons:

1) it harkens back to her toy theme which is present throughout her bio, and

2) you could have the “claw” of this modus be her limp doll hand, which would just look so creepy.

Blood color: Cerulean,

Symbol and meaning: Scorrius, sign of the cunning (Hope + Derse)

We’ll get to that later in your bio!

Trolltag: tetraplegicTrinket (it’s referring to her dolls, which are trolls that are essentially permanently paralyzed, and she dolls them up)

It’s a good name! If you want to alter it slightly you can go for quadriplegicTinkerer so her abbreviation can be QT.

Quirk: Sh3 tr13s to 1ncoporat3 h3r s1gn 1n h3r sp33ch! (i want to find something that suits her better, if you have any suggestions!)

|-|-|-|- H(::)w about that she begins and ends her sentences with f(::)ur stitches and replaces “o” with (::)? -|-|-|-|

|-|-|-|- B(::)th as a d(::)llmaker and as s(::)me(::)ne with bifurcated visi(::)n eightf(::)ld? -|-|-|-|

|-|-|-|- Als(::) it mimics the cutesy way s(::)me l(::)lita girls talk by making their (::)’s r(::)under -|-|-|-|

Special Abilities (if any): Vision eightfold, with it being split to both her eyeballs, to appear like buttons, going along with her doll-like theme. It doesn’t really do much for her.

I mean tbh that holds up. We don’t know how much of Vriska’s own abilities were from her vision eightfold, her psychic mutation, or her eventual role as a Thief of Light. The girl had a lot of stuff going on.

Lusus: ScorpionMom, a giant scorpion that paralyzes Charyl’s dolls for her with her giant stinger. She also eats the trolls that die after being turned into dolls. Charyl also laces her needles with her lusus’s poison, to kidnap trolls she finds fit for being turned into dolls. Their relationship is pretty good, all things considered, though ScorpionMom keeps to herself, most of the time. This adds on to Charyl’s feeling of isolation.

I think this is oddly permissive for a ceruleanblood lusus; while Vriska’s Spidermom was obviously an extreme case, it seems that bigger lusii generally need to get fed, and will not necessarily take kindly to their ward dangling almost-available food in front of them while they finish playing with it. I think it makes more sense that Charyl uses her lusus’s poison to paralyze (and eventually kill) her victims where Scorpionmom’s full sting would out-and-out kill a troll. It can still play into her isolation because she’ll need to work to keep away from her mom while her doll is still alive, and it still gives her an easy method of getting rid of the bodies.

Apperance: She is a tall troll, around 5’9, and rather thin. Charyl has vision eightfold, though split, and makes her eyes look like buttons. She styles her hair into two long twintails, and a bow wrapped around her horn that has her symbol on it. Charyl dresses in gothic trollita garb, which is mostly made by herself, consisting of a black, frilly dress with a cerulean bow, and mary janes, and knee-high socks.

GOTHIC TROLLITA. HOLY SHIT I LOVE IT.

Charyl is a quadruple amputee, from an accident where one of her dolls, a fellow cerulean blood, was under-dosed, and managed to mind control Charyl into breaking and contorting her own limbs, as a way of revenge. The cerulean blood escaped, and Charyl managed to recover from the life-threatening experience. She managed to take some rather large doll parts, and fashion them into workable replacement limbs with the help of an acquaintance experienced in robotics.

Hm. So I like the premise of this a lot. With that said, do we have evidence that psychic cerlueanbloods can influence their peers? After all, part of what makes them so dangerous is that they have psychic abilities on par with a lowblood sans their requisite vulnerabilities. If I may suggest a different scenario with a similar outcome, perhaps an indigoblood with a particularly STRONG immune system failed to succumb to the poison in the expected timeframe and overcame her with their remaining strength. This could spur her distaste for kidnapping highbloods and still leave her disabled.

Personality: She’s pretty bubbly and energetic, and quite motherly. Sometimes she wishes she were a jadeblood so she could take care of a wriggler. She also treats her dolls (both living and nonliving), like her children, loving to dress them up and take care of their needs. However she is also very controlling, and is quite uncomfortable whenever she isn’t able to offer her opinion, or do things how she wants.

She’s pretty spoiled from her highblood upbringing, but is equally friendly to both highbloods and lowbloods, due to her not caring about the hemospectrum that much (though she turns more lowbloods into her dolls than highbloods, due to them being easier to abduct). Charyl is a lonely troll, and uses her dolls as a way to not feel as alone as she does, due to her lack of friends outside of the ones she meets online.

Yeah kidnapping lowbloods sure is easier when everything about the hemospectrum makes them easier to kill huh?

Due to the experience with the cerulean blood (which is one of the reasons why she prefers lowbloods for her dolls), she hardly leaves her hive, aside from going outside to find new victims. She is also socially awkward, and prefers the company of her dolls, mostly due to not fearing the social apprehension she feels when interacting with highbloods.

Interests: Charyl absolutely loves fashion, especially gothic trollita clothes. She likes sewing, and making her own dresses and accessories, for herself, and also her dolls.

If it wasn’t obvious, she also is obsessed with dolls, though her favorite type are the trolls she kidnaps, and permanently paralyze with her lusus’s poison. Most are unable to speak, and eventually die to the poison. Charyl dotes on them, dressing them up and taking care of their needs. She has a rather large collection of both living and nonliving dolls.

Charyl also likes playing doctor, though treats “patients” through the process of bloodletting, with the same needles she uses for her sewing.

Title: (got any suggestions?)

I do, because I don’t think she’s actually a Hope player. I mean if we wanted to stay on that track she’d be more likely to be a Rage player because her whole schtick is narrowing her own and others’ options, and I could make arguments for her being a Life or a Doom player, buuuuut.

You’ve made her bio one that’s very Of Things. She likes having material things, whether they’re bodies or dolls or clothes. And her hobby of kidnapping real, actual trolls to turn them into dolls is technically a form of recycling and of creativity.

Basically, she’s a fucked-up kind of Space player. More specifically, she’s a Thief of Space, which is GREAT because she’s like if Kanaya and Vriska had a creepy and fashionable lovechild, ESPECIALLY given that you said she sometimes wishes she was a jadeblood!

Her inverse would be a Page of Time, which I think kind of works given that she’s effectively fucking with others’ time both by freezing their progress and by dramatically shortening their lives!

Land: Doesn’t have one yet! Still on the fence on if she’ll actually play sburb or not

That’s fine! For the sake of argument let’s say her land is Land of Chloroform and Frogs (LOCAF). All these frogs just floating in chloroform. Maybe some of them are splayed out like an anatomical diagram. Maybe some of them have been taxidermied. Many of them will be dissected like a high school bio unit. It’ll certainly make it easy to see which frog have the anatomical traits you want in the future Bilious Slick. The Land probably isn’t even safe to traverse without a gas mask given how damn fast the stuff works. It’s macabre and fits really well with how Space players’ frogs tend to be frozen in time in some manner.

Dream Planet: Derse

I definitely agree that she’s a Dersite given how much she seems to be in her head. With that, she’s a Scorga, sign of the Deviser, which sufficiently vague that I guess it works?

…Oh MAN I just looked that one up and the fuckin’ arrow tail looks like a scorpion poised to strike! It’s perfect for her!

Thanks again!

Thank YOU for this creepy creepy lady! My redesign will be very very minimal but HOO BOY did I have fun making her sprite!

This is gonna come with my requisite list of credits especially because I do not have a tablet and had no goddamn idea where to start with spriting her dress. That base is from deviantart user Thefantrolls and was then heavily edited to match your picture. The horns are straight-up Vriska’s, the bow is from naphal, and the hair was made by compositing like 4 different fan-troll templates.

For the redesign, I used a prosthetic base by hmnj to make it a little more obvious that her legs are prosthetic while maintaining the doll aesthetic. For the hair I wanted to do the scorpion callback but didn’t want to do anything as obvious as the stinger braid (especially since it might lose the lolita aesthetic), so I took a note from Gothorita’s design and tried to give her scorpion claw buns?

Anyway thank you again for this scary scary woman I can’t wait to see her in action.

-TR

#plumb1tes #charyl thytue #charyl #thytue #ceruleanblood #review #redesign #tr review #submission

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tigerlilynoh · 7 years ago

Text

My Approach to Writing

Every since getting ~350,000 words into Job & Family (my longest Supernatural fanfic), I’ve had a few conversations with people about my techniques and tips for writing. I recently told another person that I’d share this info with them, but I decided to just post it publicly, on the off chance it’s helpful for anyone else.

I’m by no means an expert and I’m sure I’m forgetting stuff, but this is my general approach and I credit its methodology with why I haven’t yet had writer’s block.

Non-Linear Writing

I don’t write linearly. Instead I try to work as much of the story as I can at the same time. I will try to write content for multiple chapters at once dividing my time 80% to the upcoming chapter and 20% to later content (usually the 2-3 chapters after the upcoming one and/or major events much later in the plot). I do this for three reasons:

It’s easier to avoid writing myself into corners by seeing the logical fallout of a chapter while I’m working on it.

If the upcoming chapter is particularly angsty/violent/etc and I need a mental break, then I can switch away from it yet still be productive.

It helps reduce the workload toward the end of the story. I’d been writing the last four chapters of J&F for over six months by the time those chapters were posted. The fact that they were already significantly written made it less overwhelming to end the story.

On another level of non-linear writing, I will often work on scenes until they are ~90% done, then rearrange their order to form a chapter or multiple chapters. I never write a chapter from front to back.

Also, by jumping around in your writing it turns the writing process into more of a game. You have points A, C, & E with certain restrictions based on the characters’ natures, themes, etc. Then all you have to do is solve for points B & D. I know, easier said than done, but a little structure can make things easier than freeform creativity.

Outlining & Organizing

I outline/organize like a crazy person. Outlines are fucking magic because they make complex stories simple for you to understand and show you all the places where you can tinker. Some of the types of outlines/organizational tools I’ve used are:

Overall plot outline - I definitely recommend this because it’s your roadmap

Fight/smut outlines - if you hate or are scared of writing fights or sex scenes, try outlining the action, then filling it in with the texture. It makes the process more manageable.

Character arc outlines - against the overall plot outline, mark the major points in a character’s personal struggle/growth. I had one of these for Sam, Dean, Ruby and others in J&F, which helped me make sure a character didn’t languish in their development.

Character prevalence outline - against the overall plot outline, mark which characters are actually in the scenes and to what extent (major, minor, only referenced). I like to assign colors to each character so it’s easy to spot if Bobby is missing for like ten chapters for no good reason.

Scene type outline - against the overall plot outline, mark what types of scenes you’re including. My go to categories are: Fights, Sex, Fluff, Background exposition (backward looking), Tactical planning (forward looking), Internal angst, & Interpersonal. Again I organize by color for quick reference. By tracking these you’ll see if you’ve maybe gotten super angsty and your readers or characters might need an emotional break, etc.

Distinguishing characteristics table - if you have a lot of characters to keep track of, create a table for their characteristics. Include things like: Strengths, weaknesses, fighting style, fighting weight class, sexual orientation, habits, speech patterns, thing they’ll refuse to do, etc. This’ll help you maybe characters who are otherwise very similar unique.

Knowledge In/Out table - for really complicated plot points I’ll make a table that organizes per scene/chapter all the requisite knowledge the characters must have going into the scene and all the new knowledge (that is necessary for a future plot point) that the character must gain. This is helpful for organizing your foreshadowing.

Timeline vs Outline - if you’re presenting content in a non-chronological fashion, I can’t stress enough the importance of having a timeline of events as distinct from your plot outline.

My basic routine for writing content

Write some basic dialogue - This creates a skeleton for the scene and it reminds you what the hell is happening if you’re bouncing around.

Insert minimal descriptions of actions like “he said”

Write some short paragraphs giving insight into the characters’ thoughts, feelings, motivations.

Add major physical events like the basic structure of a fight, sex scene, or if you really need for character A to end up holding object B.

Add more actions that bridge the gap between dialogue and/or major events.

Write more dialogue that addresses the details of the actions you’ve just created.

Add physical description/setting (I expect most people do this earlier).

Read through what you’ve got so far asking yourself questions like:

Are the characters acting in character?

Are the characters acting rationally?

Are the characters acting in a way that reflects the emotional trauma that they’re going through?

Am I writing myself into a corner?

Do I know how I could resolve the conflict that exists in this part of the story?

Do all of the scenes serve a purpose?

Before you start finalizing a scene, ask yourself if you’ve made the content unrealistic in your attempt to make the story easier on yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I rewrote large pieces of story because I was nearly done with a section and thought “But in real life people aren’t this lucky.”

Reread your work in whatever order you want while asking the who, what, where, why, how. And add bits as needed to answer those questions.

Skim the text looking for *** (see below for tip) that need replacing and areas that need segues.

Read through from beginning to end looking for continuity problems and subjects that need more elaboration.

Proofread/final pass.

General Tips

If you’re in the middle of writing and you can’t think of the next sentence, witty retort, paragraph, or how to end the section, just type *** and keep moving. Don’t let yourself get bogged down. That’s a sure fire way to get frustrated and discouraged. Later on you can tackle it with fresh eyes.

You can use coincidences to get your characters into trouble, but try like hell to avoid using coincidences to get them out of trouble. Laziness is only forgivable a few times, so use it wisely.

Know where you’re going, but stay flexible on how you get there. For example, as you write your story you’ll become more and more familiar with your characters and after awhile you might realize that something you’d been planning doesn’t make sense for them anymore. Don’t panic and don’t let your character just waltz into an OOC moment. Take a little time to figure out how to sufficiently motivate your character back on track towards your goal.

Pick themes/philosophical questions and remind yourself of them throughout the writing process. A few major themes for J&F were: What does it mean to be good? How do you balance responsibilities? Learning to accept oneself.

Make music playlists for specific characters, pairings, settings, events (like fight scenes). That way you have a quick way to get yourself back into a particular mood/mindset. I had ~20 playlists that I listened to while writing J&F in order to make it easier to write so many different characters and scenarios.

Draw from your experience. Even if you haven’t fought monsters, you’ve probably experienced many of the feelings/emotions that the character is feeling (fear, helplessness, determination, uncertainty, etc)

Rules and systems exist to make things easier, but you don’t always need to follow them. Sometimes you just need to throw balance out the window and hit the readers with an unrelenting string of angst.

Lastly, sometimes fuck ups happen. I miss steps or overlook things all the time. But the nice thing is that your readers probably aren’t going to notice. Just roll with the punches and keep at it.

Hope this is helpful. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about writing, supernatural, or pretty much anything.

#writing #Writing tips #writing advice

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forbesjames96 · 4 years ago

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michaelandy101-blog · 4 years ago

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Is Google E-A-T Actually a Ranking Factor? - Whiteboard Friday

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Is Google E-A-T Actually a Ranking Factor? - Whiteboard Friday

Many SEOs agree that showing expertise, authority, and trustworthiness in your site content is important to ranking well. But why is that, exactly? Is it because Google E-A-T is an actual ranking factor, or is it something else? In this episode of Whiteboard Friday, Cyrus Shepard explores whether it can be considered a true ranking factor, making your E-A-T goals SMART, and how to communicate it all to curious stakeholders.

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Video Transcription

Howdy, Moz fans. Welcome to another edition of Whiteboard Friday, coming to you from my home where I am wearing a tuxedo, wearing a tuxedo in hope that it exudes a little bit of expertise, perhaps authority, maybe even trust.

Yes, today we are talking about Google E-A-T, expertise, authority, trust, specifically asking the question, “Is Google E-A-T actually a ranking factor?”

Now surprisingly this is a controversial subject in the world of SEO. Very smart SEOs on both sides of the debate. Some SEOs dismiss E-A-T. Others embrace it fully. Even Googlers have different opinions about how it should be communicated. I want to talk about this today not because it’s a debate that only SEOs care about, but because it’s important how we talk to stakeholders about E-A-T and SEO recommendations. Stakeholders being clients, website owners, webmasters.

Anybody that we give an SEO recommendation to, how we talk about these things is important. So I don’t want to judge. I don’t want to be the final say — that’s not what I’m attempting — about whether Google E-A-T is an actual ranking factor. But I do want to explore the different viewpoints. I talked to dozens of SEOs, listened to Googlers, read Google patents, and I found that a lot of the disagreement comes not from what Google E-A-T is — we have a pretty good understanding what Google E-A-T actually does — but how we define ranking factors.

Three ways to define “ranking factors”

I found that how we define ranking factors falls into roughly three different schools of thought.

1. Level 1: Directly measurably, directly impact rankings

Now the first school of thought, this is the traditional view of ranking factors. People in this camp say that ranking factors are things that are directly measurable and they directly impact rankings, or they can directly impact rankings.

These are signals that we’re very familiar with, such as PageRank, URLs, canonicalization, things that we can see and measure and influence and directly impact Google’s algorithm. Now, in this case, we can say Google E-A-T probably isn’t a ranking factor under this definition. There is no E-A-T score. There’s no single E-A-T algorithm. As Gary Illyes of Google says, it’s millions of little algorithms. So in this school or camp, where things are directly measurable and impactful, Google E-A-T is not a ranking factor.

2. Level 2: Modeled or rewarded, indirect effects

Then there’s a second school of thought, almost equal to the first school of thought, that says Google’s algorithm is sufficiently complex that we don’t really know all the direct measurements, and in these days it’s a little more useful to think of ranking factors in terms of what is modeled or rewarded, things with effects that are possibly indirect.

Now this really came about during the days of the Panda algorithm in 2012, when Google started using much more machine learning and eventual neural networks in its algorithm. To give you a brief overview and to grossly oversimplify, Panda was an algorithm designed to reduce low-quality and spammy results in Google search results.

To do this, instead of using directly measurable signals, instead they used machine learning. Again, to grossly oversimplify, Britney Muller has a great post on machine learning. I’m going to link to it if you’re interested. But what they did is they took sites that they wanted to see more of in Google search results, sites like New York Times, things like that, that based on certain qualifications, like did they think the site was well-designed, would you trust it with your credit card, does it seem like it’s updated regularly and written by authors, and they put these in a bucket.

Instead of giving the algorithm direct signals, they told the machine learning program, “Find us more sites like this. We want to reward these sites.” So in this bucket, ranking factors are things that are modeled or rewarded. People in this school of thought say, “Let’s just go after the same thing Googlers are going after because we know those things tend to work.”

Algorithms that fall in this bucket are like Panda, site quality, and E-A-T. In this school of thought, yes, E-A-T can be considered a ranking factor.

3. Level 3: Any quality or action, direct or indirect effects

Then there’s even a third school of thought that goes further than these two, and this school of thought says any quality or action that could increase rankings should be considered a ranking factor, even if Google doesn’t use it in its algorithm, direct or indirect.

An example of this might be social media shares. We know that Google does not use social media shares directly in its algorithm. But getting your content out in front of a large number of people can lead to links and shares and eventually more traffic and rankings as those signals roll downhill.

Now it may seem kind of crazy to think that anyone would consider something a ranking factor if Google actually didn’t consider it a ranking factor directly in its algorithms. But if you think about it, this is often the way real-world business scenarios work. If you’re the executive of a company, you don’t necessarily care if Google uses it directly or not. You just like seeing the end result.

An example might be, aside from social media, bounce rate, long clicks. TV commercials, excellent example. If you were in a Super Bowl commercial and you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and you know that that’s going to lead to increased rankings and traffic, you don’t necessarily care if it’s a direct impact or an indirect impact.

So those are the schools of thought, and I’m not here to judge any of them. But what I think is important is how we communicate recommendations to stakeholders.

Use SMART goals to communicate SEO recommendations to stakeholders

When we give SEO recommendations in our audits or whatnot, the standard I like to use is I like to think of it in terms of goals.

A framework for goals that I like to use is the SMART system of goal making, meaning goals should be specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and time-based. Now in the traditional view of ranking signals, yes, specific and measurable are great because we’re using direct impacts.

But with E-A-T, the signals get a little squishier, and it’s hard to translate those into specific, measurable signals, and I think that’s why people in this camp don’t like considering E-A-T a ranking factor. To illustrate this, Bill Slawski, the Google patent expert, recently shared a patent that he thought might be related to E-A-T or is possibly.

We don’t know if Google uses it or not. But the patent, it took website representation vectors to classify sites. Now that’s a mouthful. But basically what that means is the patent’s goal was to determine actual expertise of websites based on vectors. For example, it could determine, through machine learning and neural networks, if a website is written by actual experts, say medical doctors, or if it was written by medical students or laypeople or somebody else.

It can do that for any type of site, whether it’s medical, law, finance, and classify its expertise. In this sense, what Google is saying, if Google wants sites within the medical sphere to be like the Mayo Clinic and they are rewarding sites that are like the Mayo Clinic, that is really hard to fix, and it’s almost impossible to fake with these kinds of sophisticated algorithms. So it’s very hard to give SEO recommendations based on something like this.

What you really have to do, if you want to dive in, is start finding where the differences are between your site and those sites that are actually ranking. Marie Haynes, another SEO who thinks a lot about E-A-T, she says in an interview with Aleyda Solis, that I’m also going to link to, it’s an excellent video.

youtube

Thank you, Aleyda, for doing that. She says it’s about finding the gaps. But back to Lily Ray. I’m getting sidetracked here. Lily Ray is one of the few SEOs who has actually done really good research into E-A-T by comparing sites and seeing what some of the differences are of sites that have been rewarded and sites that have fallen in rankings. Some of her research has found some really interesting things.

For example, for medical queries, sites that lost had 433% more CTAs, calls to action, typically because they’re selling something, they’re trying to sign you up, a little bit of mixed intent. Where the expert sites had fewer CTAs. The winning sites were written 258% more by real experts as opposed to laypeople or people without advanced degrees.

The losing sites had 117% fewer affiliate links, and that could be something like this algorithm at work or something like that. But we start to identify what’s actually being rewarded. Again, this is hard to fix or fake, but we can start to fill in the gaps. So the question is, though, how do we make these specific, measurable, and actionable?

Measurable is especially hard when we’re talking about things like expertise and authority. Fortunately, a lot of these problems have already been solved back when Panda was released back in 2012. If you want to make these more nebulous, squishy things measurable and actionable, you have to start to measure them the same way Google does, and that’s using panels of people, like the quality raters that Google employs, thousands of quality raters across the globe to look at sites and rate them.

Those ratings aren’t used directly in Google’s algorithm. They’re used to sort of test the algorithm. But you can start to score sites on a certain deliberate scale. So you can use things like the Quality Rater Guidelines or the E-A-T questions that Google has released. It’s a list of questions that say things like: Is this site written by an expert?

Would you cite this site if you were writing an academic paper about it? Questions like that. You get a group of people — maybe it’s 5 people, 10 people or more — and you ask those questions about your client’s site and compare it to the expert sites that are winning, and you can start to see where the gaps are. Maybe this site only scored a 5 on a scale of 10 that it appeared to be written by experts.

By assigning values to it and using panels of questions and scoring, you can make it specific and measurable and actionable, and that’s how you do it. It doesn’t pay to give nebulous recommendations, such as improve your E-A-T. I know of one SEO consultant who says E-A-T is meaningless, and he is definitely in this camp here that the signals should be measurable.

E-A-T is meaningless because it could mean anything you want. If you tell your clients to improve E-A-T, you could be meaning anything, improve your links, write better content, hire some experts. Instead you’ve got to make it measurable, and you’ve got to make it actionable. I think no matter what camp you’re in that’s the way you want to go. All right.

I hope you enjoyed this Whiteboard Friday. Hopefully, it sparks some conversation. If you enjoyed it, please share. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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trentteti · 5 years ago

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Predictions for the November 2019 LSAT

The November LSAT is just around the corner — once this weekend bends back around into another week, it’ll officially be test day. And that, of course means that our in-house prognosticator (i.e., me) must emerge from his dark and dank LSAT bunker, dust off a discount-bin, ersatz crystal ball, and make some predictions about what will be on the November exam.

Now, my spotty track record at predicting what exactly will be on these exams certainly isn’t strong evidence that I have any special powers of prediction with this exam. But none of you can definitively disprove that I have special powers of prediction, either. So I think it’s safe to assume that me and my crystal ball have at least some predictive power, and that you can trust that what I say about the November LSAT, and basically anything else, is probably true.

I even bought a deck of LSAT tarot cards on eBay to help reinforce this predictive power. After the first shuffle I pulled the Hierophant, the Lichen, the Iguanodon, and the Unrepresentative Survey — but I have no earthly idea what any of those mean. But anyway, gather round my it-would-be-technically-incorrect-to-call-it-a-crystal-ball, November test takers. Let’s talk about what’s likely to appear on this test.

Logical Reasoning

The first thing this nerd sees when he looks into a “crystal” ball are stats and spreadsheets and charts. Based on these visions, here’s how I think the Logical Reasoning questions will be distributed on the November exam, compared to the average frequency of those questions types on the published tests that have appeared since June 2017.

If you don’t feel like doing the math, I’m predicting there will be 51 questions overall. I think Strengthen questions will be the most common, but I’m making a fairly conservative guess there — Strengthen questions are the most common question type on most recent exams. I’ll go out on a slight limb and say that five of those nine Strengthen questions will be of the Strengthen principle variety. You know, the one’s that say, “Which one of the following principles, if true, most help to justify the above reasoning?” Or, “The reasoning above most closely conforms to which one of the following principles?” They say “following principles” in the prompt, basically. These have been a staple of recent exams, showing up five times on September 2019, three times on June 2019 and November 2018, four times on September 2018, and five times on June 2018. I hope I’m right on this prediction; Strengthen Principle questions are among the more anticipatable questions on the LSAT. Just anticipate a principle that says, more or less, “If we have the premise of the argument in this question, then we can reach the conclusion of the argument” and watch the points steadily accrue.

I also have an itch that there’s going to be a lot of conditional reasoning on this exam — at least one Must Be True question that involves making some sort of transitive deduction, at least one diagrammable Parallel and Parallel Flaw question, a couple diagrammable Sufficient questions, and maybe even a Flaw question in which the argument confuses a necessary for a sufficient question. My guess is that there may be as many as twelve questions that conditional reasoning in some way. So it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on the words and phrases that denote conditional statements, and get some practice with commonly diagrammable questions, like Must Be True, Parallel, and Sufficient questions.

You don’t exactly have to be clairvoyant to accurately predict that the logical fallacies will be super important on the two Logical Reasoning sections. Over half of the questions on this exam are easier with the mastery of the common fallacies. I think they’re going to keep it fairly classic with the fallacies on this exam — a lot of causation fallacies, exclusivity fallacies, and equivocation fallacies. To spot those, just check the conclusions of the argument. If that conclusion uses causal language, the argument is probably inferring causation from correlation. If the language is super strong (pay special attention to words like “only,” “entirely,” “solely,” “purely,” and “no”), the argument is probably committing the exclusivity fallacy and overlooking some important options, factors, or considerations. And if the argument introduces something new in the conclusion, the argument is probably guilty of equivocation — the act of assuming that something in the premises is the same as that new thing in the conclusion.

I also think one of the rarer fallacies will appear on this test. Perhaps an instance of circular reasoning? After the circle-game-that-wasn’t-really-a-circle-game on the September test sent everyone into a tizzy, maybe the test writers want to see if any allusion to a circle will freak people out? I also have a feeling that there’s going to be a tricky question with an argument that sounds like it’s committing the ad hominem fallacy, but doesn’t actually commit that fallacy (question 22 in section 3 of the June 2018 exam provides an example of this). If I’m wrong about this one, don’t get too mad at me though. Your issue is with my claim, and I am merely the source of that claim, and not the claim itself.

Is it going to be a difficult or easy set of Logical Reasoning sections? That’s tough to say, because there’s rarely any consensus on whether an LR section is tough or easy or in between. LR sections are roughly the same in their distribution of easy, medium, and tough questions. People tend to have different subjective experiences with the same section based on what kinds of questions and concepts appear most frequently. I might feel great on conditional statements but shaky on necessary assumptions. You might feel the opposite. Therefore, a section that had a ton of questions that featured conditional reasoning, but few Necessary questions, might feel easier for me than you.

Logic Games

After the Logic Games section in the September 2019 exam annoyed everyone, I think the Logic Games section is going to be much, much more straightforward. That’s not to say you should slack off on games in this last week; on the contrary, the ability to quickly do games is largely based on muscle-memory, and you don’t want your brain-muscles to atrophy in this last week. But, I don’t foresee any games as angst-producing as that flower game from September.

Instead, I think there’s going to be a super basic ordering game to kick things off. I think game two will be a little bit more difficult — I’m envisioning an unstable grouping game with three groups of indeterminate size. I think game three will be the most difficult of the bunch — I think there’s going to be a super complicated tiered ordering game. Probably one of those games where you have to keep track of the order of two separate variable sets. And I’m seeing game four as yet another underbooked stable grouping game, which appear to have a permanent seat at the Logic Games table on recent exams.

Above all else, I feel confident that making scenarios on these games will be an extremely helpful tool to utilize. Maybe you won’t need to make scenarios on the hypothetically super basic ordering game, but I’m quite confident that at least three of the games on this exam will be made much, much easier with a solid set of scenarios. I’m willing to say this because of the thirty-two games since the June 2017 exam, I think only the first game (another basic ordering game) on the June 2018 exam was easier without scenarios than with them.

Reading Comprehension

This is the part of the predictions post I’ve been dreading; please don’t take your disappointment out on me or this discount-bin cystal ball. I’m picturing a brutally tough Reading Comprehension section. Most recent exams have featured a pretty tough Reading Comp section. In the last few years of published tests, only September 2019 stands out as having a relatively mild RC section. So … prepare for the worst on this section.

That said, the topics have standardized over the last few years. Since June 2018, pretty much every Reading Comp section has had featured passages about some historical group (usually — and apparently because whoever compiles this section is a historiographic hipster — some obscure, overlooked ancient civilization), a passage about the arts (usually — and apparently because whoever compiles this section is an older snob who looks down upon the philistines taking this test — a somewhat confusing passage about the high arts), a passage about science (usually — and apparently because whoever compiles this section does not respect your B.A. — a complex discussion of biology or the environment or astrophysics), and a passage about the law (usually — and apparently because whoever compiles this section resents you from not already completing law school — a passage that makes at least occasional use of legal jargon). Given that, I’m going to predict that you’ll get a passage about an overlooked historical group, a passage about the high arts, a passage about biology or the environment or astrophysics, and a passage about a specific legal field. I’m not sure what you might do with this information, but there you go.

That said, you don’t need to fret about Reading Comp, even if it is difficult or about obscure topics. Remember to focus on the structure of the arguments being made, and jot down the function of each paragraph on your scratch paper. Remember to underline the words that express the author’s opinion. Remember to highlight important details likely to appear in the questions, like cause and effect relationships, examples, questions and their answers, and categorical items that are listed out. If you nail these things, it really doesn’t matter what the passages are about — you’re going to have a good shot at the questions.

————

Finally, let me take off my prognosticator hat for just a moment, and remind you not to take these predictions too seriously. I pay very close attention to this test, but my track record of predictions is … OK at best. Elsewhere, I’m catastrophically wrong about all sorts of things (until I was corrected, I literally thought “cuffing season” referred to those cuffed fisherman beanies people wear in the winter).

Plus, and most importantly, the LSAT always tests the same general concepts and question types. Envision all the concepts as a big sphere of knowledge. Some tests might feature certain concepts within that sphere more prominently and others less. This test might pull out more conditional reasoning and difficult Reading Comprehension passages from that sphere — perhaps making it a bit more ovoid in shape — but the test is pulling from the same sphere of concepts. As long as you feel comfortable with all the concepts within that sphere, there will be no surprises on this test, whatever shape it takes.

While we have no control over what’s on the LSAT, you can control how prepared you are for the LSAT. Whether it be in an in-person class, live online class, private tutoring, or even an on-demand online course, prepping for the LSAT is a given for any exam date. Not sure where to start? Schedule a free consult with our Academic Managers to help walk you through your options!

Predictions for the November 2019 LSAT was originally published on Blueprint LSAT Blog

#LSAT #November LSAT #predictions #trent teti #lsat

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pagerunner-j · 8 years ago

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With everything that’s been going on I admit I’m too worn down to trust myself with a final revision on this, let alone a title, so the fic below is not on AO3 yet. It’ll get there. Eventually. In the meantime, though, I wanted to write and share something, so have a Critical Role vignette.

In brief, it’s early in Keyleth and Vax’s relationship, and Keyleth has just come to Percy with a question about it...

Percy was alone in his workshop when Keyleth found him for what he’d later refer to as That Conversation. And his solitude was a mercy, really, because when she greeted him, fumbled through the half-hearted beginnings of polite conversation, then blurted out, “I need to ask you some advice. About…sex,” he made the most undignified sound imaginable, and almost dropped a hammer on his foot.

It had been an uneventful evening up until that point. Percy had been catching up on some weapon repairs and minor improvements: nothing glamorous, just odd jobs and necessities. He hadn’t prepared for company, and in fact had thought the door was locked for safety’s sake. Still, here was Keyleth, looking like she’d been preparing for sleep before restlessly wandering off. Her circlet was absent, her hair was loose, and, to Percy’s horror, her feet were bare. He tried to shoo her back from the metal shavings all around him even as he asked at an unfortunately high pitch, “What?”

“I know, I know, that came out of nowhere. I’m sorry. But I…I’ve had a lot on my mind. And I wanted to talk to someone. Because…there’s Vax. And I’m not sure how to go about this, and…”

Percy took in her anxious expression and a deep breath all at once. This was happening. This of all conversations was suddenly happening. He rubbed one hand over his face. “All right. Let’s…slow down. I’m going to finish what I was doing before something explodes, and you can sit there, on that bench, and then when I’m done we’ll talk about whatever exactly is troubling you. Does that sound good?”

“Yes.” She nodded perhaps a bit too quickly. “Okay.”

“Right.” Percy looked at her a moment longer, then turned sharply to his worktable to square away his equipment. By the time he was done and had shrugged off his protective leathers, leaving him in an admittedly sweaty shirt and with soot probably smudged every which way, Keyleth was seated, and had moved on to worrying at her hair and tracing patterns across the dusty floor with one big toe. Percy brushed his hands clean on a nearby cloth and sat beside her. For a second both of them just thought.

Finally he said, “I’m sorry if I was abrupt just then, but you took me rather aback, and I have to ask…”

“Why I asked you?”

“Well, that and other things.”

Keyleth nodded and let both hands fall into her lap. “I guess I’ll start over. So. You know Vax and I have kind of started a relationship. Thing. Obviously.”

“Yes, that was a bit noticeable.”

“And we’ve kissed, and that was nice, and we’ve cuddled, and that was nice, and there’ve been a few other things—“

“I’m willing to take your word on that without exhaustive detail.”

“But I’ve never done this before.” Her expression turned both concerned and annoyed. “I mean, I know how it works, I’m not stupid. It’s not considered shameful among the Ashari to discuss our bodies, we’re taught how to be responsible and respectful, I know my cantrips, but it’s just…complicated, when it’s new. And I want to figure out how to make it good more than only knowing the basics. You know?”

Percy wasn’t sure whether to nod in understanding or feel more alarmed at what his part in this conversation was expected to be. He settled for saying, “Um, yes?”

“But I had no idea who to ask.” She shook her head. “I mean, I can’t talk to Vex, not about her brother. She’ll just pretend to vomit. Or actually vomit.”

“Either seem likely.”

“And I’d be fine with asking Pike”—which she said casually enough that Percy had an unusually vivid moment of contemplating their cleric’s sex life, which he made himself stop immediately—“but she’s not here. So I started thinking maybe I should talk to one of the boys instead, to get your perspective? But…that leaves me with Grog. Or Scanlan.”

Percy said faintly, “Dear gods, don’t start with Scanlan.”

“Or there’s you.” She gave him a faintly wistful smile. “And I trust you.”

“Well.” A little flicker of feeling, fond and also wistful in an odd sort of way, went through him. “That’s dreadfully misguided of you, but I suppose I should be flattered.”

Keyleth nudged his shoulder with her own, making a pfft sort of noise, then sighed. “So. That’s why I’m here. Asking for advice. Because I figured you’d know, and…” She stopped short. “Um. I mean. You do know, right? Because you’ve never actually talked about sex much, and I figured you were just being stuffy like usual, but I might be assuming—oh, gods, don’t tell me I assumed…”

Percy knew, just knew, that he was turning bright red. “No. That is, yes, I’ve had sex, and no, you didn’t wrongly assume.” He cast his own gaze skyward. “And Pelor above, I was not prepared to be having this conversation.”

“So was it with women, or men, or…?”

Percy made another strangled sound. “Let’s set that aside and go on with saying I’m familiar with your general scenario, all right?”

“All right.” She paused. Percy waited her out, watching her work her way to an even more tentative question. “So would you say there’s anything I should do that he might…like?”

He opened his mouth, shut it again. Of course there were thoughts flitting around his head—bits of memories and ideas trying to get his attention—but none of those were the point just now. “Keyleth, I think perhaps that’s…not the first step.”

She sounded frustrated. “I need somewhere to start.”

“But that ought to be with you.” He turned on the bench to face her better, reaching for words as he did. He didn’t intend to say as much, but what experience he’d had didn’t exactly lend itself as a model. The best he could do was work with the evidence at hand, and the consideration he knew Keyleth deserved. “Listen. I can’t speak for Vax’s preferences, which is another point I’ll be getting to, but I know he’s aware you’re new to this, and that he doesn’t mean to pressure you. And”—his voice went slightly wry—“no matter how much shit Vax and I may give each other, I can trust without reservation that in this, he’ll be kind.”

“I know that. I just…I don’t want to be some fragile, wilting flower.” She grimaced and kicked at a stray casing, sending it pinging off across the floor. “I want to impress him.”

Remembering the awed look he’d seen on Vax’s face many a time when watching Keyleth, Percy said quietly, “I assure you, you already do.”

“Really?”

“Most definitely.”

“So you mean…”

“Just be you, Keyleth.” He meant to stop there, but a few more things slipped out, no matter how he knew both of them could be about compliments. “Fierce, gentle, unsure, powerful, however you’re feeling. He knows those things about you. He loves you for them. I have to give him credit for that, because he’s right to.”

She blushed and hunched her shoulders around her ears. After a minute of thought, though, she relaxed somewhat. She hooked her hair back over one ear, twisted her lips, then blew out a long breath. “So you’re basically saying just show up, wing it, and hope for the best?”

“Well, not just that. I think it’s more important to talk to Vax than talk to me. If you’re trying to figure out some sort of…of sexy surprises, you can get to that when you’re more familiar with each other.” He paused. “Why are you smirking at me?”

She grinned wider. “Sexy surprises,” she repeated, exaggerating his tone. Percy groaned.

“You asked,” he protested, a little despairing, and she laughed. Oddly, it helped. “Also a valid point.” He gestured her way with one hand. “Don’t make the mistake of taking any of this too seriously.”

“The whole thing is pretty absurd, isn’t it?”

“Sex? Yes.” He hitched one shoulder. “But it’s not without its appeal.”

“That’s how you’re summing it up.”

“You did say I was insufferably stuffy.”

“Not insufferably,” she retorted, but Percy nudged her this time. Keyleth responded by leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. Percy tilted a look at her.

“What was that for?”

“For helping,” she said simply.

“Well. Thank you. Although I’m not sure I gave you anything sufficiently specific.”

“You gave me enough,” she said, and got up, brushing her dress straight. Percy looked at her there in the firelight and pondered a few things in silence until she interrupted him with, “Besides, I did get some suggestions from other people. Like a couple scented oils that might be useful…”

Percy’s thoughts ground to a halt and provided him a too-vivid image instead. “Um.”

“And Synala told me a long time ago that practicing with cucumbers can help”—she gestured a little too closely to her lips for Percy’s comfort—“although I don’t know if it’s the season around here for those?”

“Keyleth,” he said, strained. She laughed again, giving him a broad wink she was clearly trying to copy from Vex.

“And here I didn’t even get as far as creative uses for grasping vines,” she said, before he started waving his hands and saying, “Enough. Enough. I didn’t need to know about that part. Out.”

She was still laughing when she ducked outside his door, leaving Percy alone and a little bit shellshocked. “What just…” he murmured, before trailing off into a chuckle of his own. All he could really think in that moment was, Absurdities, indeed…

After a while, he got up and went back to his work.

And although the room may have gone dimmer for Keyleth’s absence, at least the thought of her parting smile lingered for a while.

#critical role #fic #wip? (sort of)#vaxleth #keyleth #percy

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isearchgoood · 4 years ago

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Is Google E-A-T Actually a Ranking Factor? - Whiteboard Friday

Posted by Cyrus-Shepard

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Video Transcription

Yes, today we are talking about Google E-A-T, expertise, authority, trust, specifically asking the question, "Is Google E-A-T actually a ranking factor?"

Now surprisingly this is a controversial subject in the world of SEO. Very smart SEOs on both sides of the debate. Some SEOs dismiss E-A-T. Others embrace it fully. Even Googlers have different opinions about how it should be communicated. I want to talk about this today not because it's a debate that only SEOs care about, but because it's important how we talk to stakeholders about E-A-T and SEO recommendations. Stakeholders being clients, website owners, webmasters.

Anybody that we give an SEO recommendation to, how we talk about these things is important. So I don't want to judge. I don't want to be the final say — that's not what I'm attempting — about whether Google E-A-T is an actual ranking factor. But I do want to explore the different viewpoints. I talked to dozens of SEOs, listened to Googlers, read Google patents, and I found that a lot of the disagreement comes not from what Google E-A-T is — we have a pretty good understanding what Google E-A-T actually does — but how we define ranking factors.

Three ways to define "ranking factors"

I found that how we define ranking factors falls into roughly three different schools of thought.

1. Level 1: Directly measurably, directly impact rankings

These are signals that we're very familiar with, such as PageRank, URLs, canonicalization, things that we can see and measure and influence and directly impact Google's algorithm. Now, in this case, we can say Google E-A-T probably isn't a ranking factor under this definition. There is no E-A-T score. There's no single E-A-T algorithm. As Gary Illyes of Google says, it's millions of little algorithms. So in this school or camp, where things are directly measurable and impactful, Google E-A-T is not a ranking factor.

2. Level 2: Modeled or rewarded, indirect effects

Then there's a second school of thought, almost equal to the first school of thought, that says Google's algorithm is sufficiently complex that we don't really know all the direct measurements, and in these days it's a little more useful to think of ranking factors in terms of what is modeled or rewarded, things with effects that are possibly indirect.

To do this, instead of using directly measurable signals, instead they used machine learning. Again, to grossly oversimplify, Britney Muller has a great post on machine learning. I'm going to link to it if you're interested. But what they did is they took sites that they wanted to see more of in Google search results, sites like New York Times, things like that, that based on certain qualifications, like did they think the site was well-designed, would you trust it with your credit card, does it seem like it's updated regularly and written by authors, and they put these in a bucket.

Instead of giving the algorithm direct signals, they told the machine learning program, "Find us more sites like this. We want to reward these sites." So in this bucket, ranking factors are things that are modeled or rewarded. People in this school of thought say, "Let's just go after the same thing Googlers are going after because we know those things tend to work."

Algorithms that fall in this bucket are like Panda, site quality, and E-A-T. In this school of thought, yes, E-A-T can be considered a ranking factor.

3. Level 3: Any quality or action, direct or indirect effects

Then there's even a third school of thought that goes further than these two, and this school of thought says any quality or action that could increase rankings should be considered a ranking factor, even if Google doesn't use it in its algorithm, direct or indirect.

Now it may seem kind of crazy to think that anyone would consider something a ranking factor if Google actually didn't consider it a ranking factor directly in its algorithms. But if you think about it, this is often the way real-world business scenarios work. If you're the executive of a company, you don't necessarily care if Google uses it directly or not. You just like seeing the end result.

An example might be, aside from social media, bounce rate, long clicks. TV commercials, excellent example. If you were in a Super Bowl commercial and you're the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and you know that that's going to lead to increased rankings and traffic, you don't necessarily care if it's a direct impact or an indirect impact.

So those are the schools of thought, and I'm not here to judge any of them. But what I think is important is how we communicate recommendations to stakeholders.

Use SMART goals to communicate SEO recommendations to stakeholders

When we give SEO recommendations in our audits or whatnot, the standard I like to use is I like to think of it in terms of goals.

But with E-A-T, the signals get a little squishier, and it's hard to translate those into specific, measurable signals, and I think that's why people in this camp don't like considering E-A-T a ranking factor. To illustrate this, Bill Slawski, the Google patent expert, recently shared a patent that he thought might be related to E-A-T or is possibly.

We don't know if Google uses it or not. But the patent, it took website representation vectors to classify sites. Now that's a mouthful. But basically what that means is the patent's goal was to determine actual expertise of websites based on vectors. For example, it could determine, through machine learning and neural networks, if a website is written by actual experts, say medical doctors, or if it was written by medical students or laypeople or somebody else.

It can do that for any type of site, whether it's medical, law, finance, and classify its expertise. In this sense, what Google is saying, if Google wants sites within the medical sphere to be like the Mayo Clinic and they are rewarding sites that are like the Mayo Clinic, that is really hard to fix, and it's almost impossible to fake with these kinds of sophisticated algorithms. So it's very hard to give SEO recommendations based on something like this.

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Thank you, Aleyda, for doing that. She says it's about finding the gaps. But back to Lily Ray. I'm getting sidetracked here. Lily Ray is one of the few SEOs who has actually done really good research into E-A-T by comparing sites and seeing what some of the differences are of sites that have been rewarded and sites that have fallen in rankings. Some of her research has found some really interesting things.

For example, for medical queries, sites that lost had 433% more CTAs, calls to action, typically because they're selling something, they're trying to sign you up, a little bit of mixed intent. Where the expert sites had fewer CTAs. The winning sites were written 258% more by real experts as opposed to laypeople or people without advanced degrees.

The losing sites had 117% fewer affiliate links, and that could be something like this algorithm at work or something like that. But we start to identify what's actually being rewarded. Again, this is hard to fix or fake, but we can start to fill in the gaps. So the question is, though, how do we make these specific, measurable, and actionable?

Measurable is especially hard when we're talking about things like expertise and authority. Fortunately, a lot of these problems have already been solved back when Panda was released back in 2012. If you want to make these more nebulous, squishy things measurable and actionable, you have to start to measure them the same way Google does, and that's using panels of people, like the quality raters that Google employs, thousands of quality raters across the globe to look at sites and rate them.

Those ratings aren't used directly in Google's algorithm. They're used to sort of test the algorithm. But you can start to score sites on a certain deliberate scale. So you can use things like the Quality Rater Guidelines or the E-A-T questions that Google has released. It's a list of questions that say things like: Is this site written by an expert?

Would you cite this site if you were writing an academic paper about it? Questions like that. You get a group of people — maybe it's 5 people, 10 people or more — and you ask those questions about your client's site and compare it to the expert sites that are winning, and you can start to see where the gaps are. Maybe this site only scored a 5 on a scale of 10 that it appeared to be written by experts.

By assigning values to it and using panels of questions and scoring, you can make it specific and measurable and actionable, and that's how you do it. It doesn't pay to give nebulous recommendations, such as improve your E-A-T. I know of one SEO consultant who says E-A-T is meaningless, and he is definitely in this camp here that the signals should be measurable.

E-A-T is meaningless because it could mean anything you want. If you tell your clients to improve E-A-T, you could be meaning anything, improve your links, write better content, hire some experts. Instead you've got to make it measurable, and you've got to make it actionable. I think no matter what camp you're in that's the way you want to go. All right.

I hope you enjoyed this Whiteboard Friday. Hopefully, it sparks some conversation. If you enjoyed it, please share. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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