#I hope rise gets to come back I want a cross over episode

[seagull-scribbles]

Caysi Jons 🏒💥

[mononijikayu]

last christmas — gojo satoru and geto suguru

"Don’t make me regret this, Satoru." you mumble, your face warm. “We’re gonna have fun, but in a way we all would enjoy, okay?” “Hm, as you say, senpai!” He replies, still heavily enthusiastic. Suguru, still lying on the other side of the air mattress, lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Great. Now we’re all going, aren’t we?" "Obviously, Suguboo!" Satoru replies, his grin widening as he hops off your side. "I mean, what’s a theme park trip without all my best friends?" “Hey, don’t call me Suguboo.”

GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence;

WARNING/S: afab! reader, angst, fluff, humor, comfort, anxiety, lgbtqia+, friendship, found family, conflicted feelings, break up, noted romantic attraction, flashback, loss, light hearted, hurt/comfort, hurt, physical touch, mentioned character death, trauma, loneliness, pain, conflicted relationship, emotional distress, grief, pining, sleep over, theme park, overworking, burnt out, nightmares, mentioned character deaths, mentioned trauma, this is the theme park episode folks;

WORD COUNT: 17k words

NOTE: i wanted to continue the past pov between satoru and suguru and this came to mind. i think there will be more on their holidays together but i liked this a lot because i think they'll have this sort of healthy dynamic when it came to their work before hidden inventory. anyway, i hope you enjoy it. happy holidays!!! i love you all <3

box it up, christmas hun! (santa kayu 2024)

main masterlist

us and them

if you want to, tip! <3

THERE HASN’T BEEN A DAY WHEN YOU WEREN’T CALLED INTO A PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE. But that was to be expected. In the line of work you have endured as a sorcerer since a child has made you too used to the situation.

But you felt something different when you entered the Yaga Masamichi’s office this time around. No, everything about this moment was different. Was it the fact that fall was ending and that winter was coming? Or was it his awful cologne choice? Perhaps you will never know. 

“You’re being given leave for the holidays.”

“Huh?”

“You’re not going to receive any winter missions.”

“Are you fucking around with me?”

The air in Yaga Masamichi’s office feels thick, heavy with the tension of your argument. You stand in front of his desk, arms crossed tightly over your chest, your frustration barely contained. Yaga, however, looks entirely unfazed as he reclines in his chair, his large frame a picture of unyielding authority.

"You’ve never taken a day off as a sorcerer. And you never ask for it. It’s high time you were given time off." he says again, voice calm but resolute, like he’s speaking to a stubborn child. "You’re not getting another mission right now. That’s final. The higher ups approved it."

You grit your teeth, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. "I don’t need a day off. Do you even hear yourself? Sitting around doing nothing isn’t going to help anyone. Do you know how many grade one sorcerers and grade two sorcerers are going to be dealing with all the cases I don’t do? They need me out there, Yaga!" 

Your voice rises with every word, the sheer unfairness of the situation gnawing at your composure. But Yaga doesn’t budge. His dark eyes remain steady, rooted, as if absorbing your outburst without so much as a ripple.

"What they need right now," he replies evenly, determination heavy in his eyes. "is a sorcerer who can stay on their feet. You’re overworked, and you know it. I’ve let it slide long enough, but this stops here."

"You don’t get it—" you start, but he raises a hand, cutting you off mid-sentence.

"No, you don’t get it, do you?" he interrupts, his voice dropping into a firmer register that makes you flinch, just slightly. "I’ve seen too many sorcerers burn themselves out thinking they can handle everything. They push and push, and then one day, they can’t anymore. I’m not about to let you be one of them."

You shake your head vehemently. "I’m not like the others. I can handle this. I have been handling this!"

"And that’s exactly why you need to stop right now." he counters, leaning forward slightly, his tone softening just a fraction. "You may not want to hear this, but you’re not invincible. Everyone has a limit, and you’re closer to yours than you think. Take a step back before it’s too late."

You glare at him, desperation bubbling up alongside your anger. You refuse to accept this—there has to be another way. "Gakuganji would give me the mission, you know?" you mutter, your voice sharp and petulant.

Yaga snorts, his lips twitching in what might have been amusement if the situation weren’t so serious. "I’m not Gakuganji." he says bluntly. "And thank the gods for that."

His words strike a nerve, and you spin around to face him fully, your fists clenched at your sides. "Why are you doing this? You’re supposed to support us—support me! How am I supposed to just sit around and do nothing while curses are out there hurting people?"

"Because I care about you." Yaga replies simply. His gaze softens slightly, but the steel in his voice remains. "And whether you believe it or not, I care about you. You may not understand that, I know. But you can’t destroy yourself like this. You’re a good sorcerer, but you need to learn to take care of yourself first.”

His words hang in the air, heavy and unrelenting. You look away, your jaw tight, frustration still burning in your chest. But there’s no arguing with him now. His mind is made up, and deep down, you know he’s right. That doesn’t mean you have to like it.

“And I imagine that you’re father would want—”

"Fine, fine." you mutter begrudgingly, stuffing your hands into your pockets. "But don’t come crying to me when someone screws up the mission I could’ve handled."

Yaga exhales through his nose, a sound that’s almost—but not quite—a laugh. "I’ll take my chances with that gamble." he says, turning back to the stack of paperwork on his desk.

As you storm out of his office, shaking your head in disappointment, you could only find yourself in the silence. You couldn’t help but slam the door as hard as you could behind you, summarizing his parting words linger in your mind: Take the time off. That’s an order.

And for the first time in a long while, you’re left with nothing to do but obey. You cursed under your breath, looking at the sunset filled sky. You hated this. Now you’ll be stuck remembering those bright beaming fireworks, those annoyingly loud sing along carols and most of all, the falling snow as she said goodbye.

══════════════════

OF COURSE, YOU HAVEN’T CALMED DOWN. But there was nothing you could do about it. You had to start thinking about something to do. Or maybe try to argue about this.

You haven’t really thought about it concretely yet. But you had to do something, you just had to. A soft sigh left your lips. You really should have brought cigarettes with you.

The vending machine hums softly as you press the button, a can of something fizzy clattering into the slot below. You grab it, sit down heavily on the nearby bench, and crack it open with a sigh.

The sunset paints the sky in hues of orange and purple, but it does little to brighten your mood. You’re sulking, and you know it, but right now, you don’t care.

All of the known Kyoto missions you had your eye on—all of them—had been reassigned. Even the dangerous ones, the ones you knew you could handle. And what stings the most? Even the Special Grade missions had gone to others, like they were prizes you weren’t worthy of claiming or having whatsoever. 

You know you shouldn’t sulk but you couldn’t help it. Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru, of course, had gotten their fair share. And they deserve it. They get the job done well enough, for second years. It’s not that you didn’t think they deserved it. They do.

But you were their senior. And you were older. Aren’t you supposed to be doing more, so they won’t have to? You had more experience than them in this field. You were a special grade sorcerer too. Why did you have to be treated differently than them? Weren’t you doing so well? Weren’t you enough?

You liked working, it’s why you haven’t stopped since you were younger. But you also don’t want to think about what the winter holidays were going to be like. You don’t want it to be stagnant. You don’t want to sit around and think. You don’t. You don’t even want to think about the prospect of having to go back to Zenin Manor for the holidays. 

If your schedule isn’t full, that old geezer is going to force you to attend the banquet. You wouldn't have an excuse. And knowing that, they’ll end up forcing you into a man and you don’t want to get married. Not just yet. You don’t want to end up marrying this winter. You bit your lip shakily in anger. 

“Ugh, why did this have to happen right now?” You whisper to yourself, kicking the stone wall. “This is so stupid!”

“Hey, senpai! Don’t kick the stone wall like that. It did nothing to you.”

You stopped, feeling your eyes narrow. The crunch of footsteps on gravel catches your attention as much as the voice did.  You glance up to see none other than the pair themselves. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru were going towards you, strolling back into campus.

They’re still in their mission gear, looking far too relaxed for two people who’ve just returned from exorcising curses. Geto has a quiet, composed expression as usual, his long hair tied neatly back. Gojo, on the other hand, is grinning like he’s just been handed the keys to the world.

The moment Gojo Satoru spots you even closer, his grin widens. Your eyes narrow enough at him that it looks like you were glaring at him. You were still too sulky. And now that you were running out of sugar, you were getting cranky too. You ought to drink your drink soon.

"Well, well, well, Suguru." Satoru says, nudging Suguru with his elbow and wearing that ever-present smirk. "Look who we have here, moping by the vending machines. Did Yaga–sensei finally ban you from missions, senpai?"

You glare at him over the rim of your can, letting the cold metal press against your lips but refusing to dignify his teasing with a response. The hiss of carbonation cuts through the silence as you crack open the soda with a force that sends foam fizzing up brutishly.

Satoru blinks at you, then shifts his gaze to Suguru, who seems to pick up on the same thing. A rare flicker of actual concern crosses his face.

“Wait, are you actually serious, senpai?” Gojo’s voice loses some of its usual playfulness. “Did he really?”

Suguru sighs, glancing at you with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. “Hey, don’t be too insensitive. Senpai looks upset.”

Satoru tilts his head, still watching you carefully. For a moment, there’s no teasing, just quiet curiosity, as if he’s waiting for you to break the silence and explain. But you didn’t speak just yet. Instead, you opted to drink the carbonated drink for a little bit. They just let you drink it and watched as you put it down. 

Suguru, ever the perceptive one, raises an eyebrow as he approaches. "Something wrong, senpai?" His tone is even, but there’s a flicker of genuine concern in his gaze.

"Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry about me." you mutter, though the tension in your voice betrays your words. 

You take a long sip of your drink, letting the fizzy sweetness settle on your tongue before sighing and lowering yourself onto one of the cold metal benches. The bench creaks slightly under your weight, the chill biting through your clothes, but you barely register it.

"Just... no missions for me for a while." you say, the words coming out slower this time, like you’re forcing yourself to say them. "Yaga’s decided I need to take a break for the winter." You pause, glancing down at the soda can in your hands, the logo on it blurry from condensation.

"He didn’t even ask me about it. That’s what I feel bitter about." you continue, a wry, humorless smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. "He filed a leave on my behalf with the higher-ups. Said it was for my own good. And... well, it’s been accepted."

You huff out a short laugh, but it’s devoid of mirth. "Can you believe that? A forced vacation. Like I’m some kind of liability."

The words linger in the crisp air, heavy and bitter. For a moment, neither Satoru nor Suguru speaks, their usual banter replaced with an uneasy silence. Even Satoru’s trademark smirk falters slightly, his bright eyes narrowing in rare seriousness as he processes what you just said. Suguru crosses his arms, his expression softening as he looks at you.

"That... doesn’t sound like Yaga–sensei at all." Suguru says quietly, his tone laced with concern. "There’s gotta be more to it than that."

Satoru tilts his head, studying you carefully. "He’s probably just worried about you, senpai. You’ve been burning the candle at both ends lately."

You shrug, unwilling to acknowledge their words. Instead, you take another sip of your drink, letting the cold fizz distract you from the frustration simmering in your chest. “I suppose. But I would have liked to have a conversation about that. Maybe I’ll consider it.”

Liar. You thought to yourself for a moment. You never would have considered it. That’s why you take breaks, you foolish liar.

Suguru takes a seat on your other side, his presence calm and steady, like an anchor in the swirling storm of your thoughts. "He’s probably just looking out for you, senpai. Yaga-sensei’s strict about things, sure. But he’s not unfair. Maybe he’s seen something we haven’t."

You sigh, rubbing the back of your neck as frustration ripples through you. "I don’t think I stick around long enough for him to notice anything about me."

"It’s probably because you’re always out in the field, senpai." Satoru chimes in, his voice lighter now as he presses a button on the vending machine with exaggerated care. "I think he notices that."

The quiet sincerity in his words catches you off guard, and for a moment, you blink at him, then at the can in your hand. "Possibly." you murmur, though your tone is uncertain.

Suguru smiles gently, a knowing look in his eyes. "Still, I get it. Sitting out isn’t easy when you’re used to being in the thick of it all the time, senpai."

You nod slowly, letting his words sink in. "It’s not just that." you admit, the bitterness in your voice softening. "It’s like... if I’m not out there, if I’m not doing something, I don’t know what to do with myself. It feels... wrong, like I’m slacking off or abandoning my responsibilities."

And I don’t wanna think about her. You want to say. I don’t want to go home either. I don’t want to suffer being alone.

Satoru pops open his own drink, taking a swig before glancing back at you. "That’s not slacking, senpai." he says, his tone uncharacteristically even. "Taking a break isn’t quitting. Yaga–sensei wouldn’t do this if he didn’t think it was important."

Suguru nods in agreement. "He’s not punishing you. He’s trying to make sure you’re okay. Sometimes, even the strongest of us need to step back and breathe for a bit."

Their words hang in the air, soft but unwavering, and for the first time in a while, you feel the tight knot of frustration in your chest begin to loosen—just a little. You sigh, slumping further down on the bench. You groaned.

"Kyoto missions are being handed out like candy. Even the Special Grade ones! And guess who’s getting them? The two of you."

Suguru snickered. “I doubt that it’s something enjoyable as eating candy, senpai.”

"Meanwhile, I’m stuck here with nothing to do but wait." You were pouting at this point.

Satoru snickers, leaning back. "Jealous, are we? Don’t worry, senpai.  I’ll bring you a souvenir from my next mission. Maybe a curse sword or something. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? It’s about to be Christmas anyway—"

"Satoru." Suguru says warningly, giving him a pointed look.

"What?" Satoru shrugs, still grinning as he holds his drink close. "I’m just trying to cheer senpai up, Satoru."

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. "I don’t need cheering up. I need to be useful."

Suguru leans forward slightly, his voice quieter now. "You are useful. Missions come and go, but pushing yourself too hard won’t make things better. Yaga–sensei’s just giving you some breathing room. It doesn’t mean you’re being left behind."

"Yeah, senpai." Satoru chimes in, his tone surprisingly genuine this time. "Don’t take it too personally. Even I need a break sometimes. Well, not really, but you get the idea."

You glance between them, your frustration still simmering, but their words start to sink in, just a little. Maybe they’re right—maybe this isn’t the end of the world. But for now, you still can’t shake the sting of being benched. You shake your head.

"Whatever." you mutter, taking another sip of your drink. "Just don’t rub it in."

Satoru smirks, nudging your shoulder. "No promises."

Suguru sighs, shaking his head. "Let’s just get you off this bench before you start growing roots. Come on—we’ll grab some food. Satoru’s treat."

You raised a brow as you looked at Satoru. “Oh? You’re opening your wallet?”

“If that would make our amazing beloved senpai stop sulking, the Gojo Satoru infinite wallet will appear.” Satoru says, pulling out his wallet with a maniacal laugh. “You can order as much as you can, senpai. I’ll pay for it. Just smile, okay?”

You looked at him for a moment before you ended up laughing. You finally nodded at them. Satoru pumps his arm out as he says yes. Suguru shakes his head at Satoru’s antics, but smiles. Reluctantly, you let them pull you to your feet. Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. Maybe.

Before long, the three of you walk toward a nearby ramen restaurant, the sounds of crickets beginning to fill the evening air. Satoru stretches his arms lazily behind his head, his glasses pushed up just enough to reveal the playful glint in his eyes. Suguru walks beside you, his steady presence a contrast to Satoru’s boundless energy.

“Where’s Shoko?” You asked, turning to Suguru. “I thought she would be with you two.”

“She’s stuck with the Reversed Curse Technique sensei.” Suguru says, his hands resting in his pockets. “Apparently she couldn’t get it right on a leg, so the sensei’s making her do it again.”

“Huh, I would have thought she would have gotten it right by now.” You furrowed your brows. “I sent her the scrolls on it.”

“Probably just some sensei trying to make it harder on Sho.” Satoru says, looking at you. “I mean, wasn’t it that way with our hand to hand combat sensei last year?”

“I didn’t like that guy.” Suguru admitted, shaking his head. “He wasn’t at all considerate of Shoko and made her suffer.”

“If he wasn’t a vassal of the Zenin, he wouldn’t have a job here anymore.” You retorted to the two of them. “He was also bad when he taught us.”

Suguru looked at you. “Hehhhh, so he taught you too, senpai.”

“Well, yes. But we didn’t learn much from him.”

"So, senpai." Satoru says, breaking the conversation away. "If you're not doing missions, what are you doing? Sitting around moping by vending machines? Because, honestly, it’s not a great look for you."

You roll your eyes back at him. "I’ll be training. I’ll be visiting my mother at her shrine. I need to  keep my edge. And I don’t want to be stuck at home. What’s the point if I’m not putting it to use? It’s not like curses are going to exorcise themselves."

Suguru hums thoughtfully. "Training’s not a bad way to spend your time. Besides, if Yaga–sensei’s forcing you to take a break, you might as well use it to focus on something else. A new technique, maybe. You’ve been talking about improving your cursed energy output, haven’t you, senpai?"

You glance at him, surprised he remembered. "Yeah, I guess. Still doesn’t feel the same without the real stakes."

Satoru lets out a dramatic sigh, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "You’ve gotta chill, you know? Not every second of your life has to be spent on the front lines. Take a page from my book, senpai! Go and live a little! Relax, enjoy the quiet moments. You can’t win all the glory if you’re burned out."

"Easy for you to say." you grumble, shrugging off his arm. "Everyone’s different, you know that?”

Satoru’s grin falters for just a second, so brief you almost miss it. But he recovers it almost as soon as it happens. You blinked at that. "Sure." he says, his voice lighter than it was a moment ago. "But even I have to deal with Yaga–sensei breathing down my neck sometimes. Guy acts like I’m gonna self-destruct or something."

"Wonder why." Suguru mutters under his breath, earning a snicker from you.

By the time you reach the ramen restaurant, your mood has lightened, if only slightly. The warm glow of the lights and the faint smell of food wafting through the air feel comforting, a small reminder that life isn’t all missions and curses. 

Satoru insists on ordering for everyone which  was much to your dismay because he wanted to choose the desserts menu first, while Suguru sits across from you, watching him with a faintly amused expression.

"You know, senpai." Suguru says as Satoru bounds off toward the counter. "He’s not entirely wrong. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Least of all us kouhai. You’ve done more than enough between us combined. You deserve some rest too."

"That’s not what this is about, though." you say, picking at the edge of the table. "It’s just… I hate feeling useless. And I hate not doing anything too. It’s like I’m sitting on the sidelines while everyone else is out there making a difference, doing something."

Suguru leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. "No one thinks you’re useless. You’re one of the strongest sorcerers here, senpai. Don’t let a temporary setback make you forget that. Yaga–sensei’s decision isn’t a punishment; it’s a reminder to pace yourself. You’ll be back out there soon enough."

Before you can respond, Satoru reappears, balancing a heavy tray full of abundant food with one hand like it’s a prize. You blinked as two other staff followed behind him, carrying just as heavy of a load on the trays they were holding. 

"Alright, feast time! And guess what—I got you your favorite." He sets the tray down with a flourish, smirking when you reluctantly take the plate he hands you.

"Thanks, Satoru." you mumble, trying not to sound too grateful.

As the three of you dig into your food, the conversation shifts to lighter topics—Satoru’s  latest antics, Suguru’s commentary on his poor decision-making, and a few inside jokes that make you laugh despite yourself. For a little while, you forget about the frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

Maybe Suguru’s right about this. Maybe this isn’t the end of the world. It’s just one time. You were sure that it would go by just as fast as it happened. You take a sip of your soup, trying to enjoy the warmth it pools on your mouth. 

And as Satoru leans back in his chair, telling some exaggerated story about a curse he fought, and Suguru trying to correct him about the facts, you couldn’t help but smile at them.

They’ll probably do fine with your missions. Everything will be fine. And so, now, ever so slowly, you think that maybe, just maybe, this break won’t be so bad after all.

══════════════════

YOU BEGGED GAKUGANJI TO LIE TO THE ZENIN. You received the message to come back home a few days ago, the annual winter banquet looming over you like a heavy cloud. The thought of returning made your stomach churn.

You didn’t want to deal with Naoya’s smug, incessant taunts, nor your uncles’ cold glares, each one assessing you like a potential threat or disappointment.

And you certainly didn’t want to endure your drunken grandfather pushing every eligible man in the clan in your direction, urging you to “secure the Zenin legacy.”

At least Gakuganji had relented this time after you wore him down with incessant pleas to be excused from the banquet. He had sighed heavily, grumbled about your stubbornness, and waved you off with a reluctant nod. That victory, however small, was bittersweet.

In the same breath, you decided not to visit your mother for the rest of December either. Word traveled fast, and if the Zenin found out where you were, they’d harass her endlessly until she felt cornered, forced to surrender you back to their grasp. You couldn’t let that happen. Protecting her from their influence was one of the few things you could still control.

So, you opted to stay in your own house. Alone. Indefinitely.

At first, the solitude was welcome, a reprieve from the expectations and judgment that seemed to follow you everywhere. But the days off began to pile up like a slow-moving curse, each one heavier and more suffocating than the last. The stillness clung to you, creeping under your skin.

And that craving to work, to go out and seek danger. To seek out curses. You could feel each and every one of them. There’s one from your apartment block, from a building growing bigger and bigger.

There’s another just a few miles away, eating away the anguish of humanity. But you know you can’t do much about it. Not when they would know your cursed energy. They would recognize it. That would ensure Yaga will hear about it. He would annoy you even more. And you don’t want that.

But just as much, you don’t want a break. You want to work. You need to work. The idle hours claw at you, dragging you into places you’ve been avoiding for too long. You like the chaos of missions—the distractions, the sense of purpose, the way they keep your mind too busy to wander.

Without the missions, the silence becomes unbearable. And in that silence, the nightmares return.

You see her smile again. That sick twisted, stupid smile that lingers in the dark corners of your mind. It’s the kind of smile that hides something cruel, something broken. You can almost hear the fireworks bursting overhead, bright and loud, masking the screams. 

The harmony of Christmas carols drifts faintly in the background, a jarring contrast to the chaos. Her voice echoes in your ears, sharp and cutting. Your body was shaking, but not of the cold. But shock. You were too shocked to even move as you watched her turn her back.

“What the fuck are you saying?” You asked her, your purple eyes turning watery. “You’re leaving me?”

"I don’t need you anymore." she had said, her words like shards of glass. "And you don’t need me anymore. So, let’s end it here, hm?”

Kaiko broke up with you that day.

And then she massacred hundreds.

The images come rushing back in vivid, relentless clarity: the blood, the chaos, the twisted wreckage of everything you thought you understood. You can’t stop replaying it—the devastation, the betrayal, the weight of what she had become.

You don’t want to face it. You don’t want to deal with that Christmas day again.

But in the silence, it finds you. It always finds you.

Tears started to fall from your eyes again.

“I hate this, I hate this too much.”

══════════════════

THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH SLEEP. But it wasn’t what you wanted. You always don’t sleep, you don’t want to sleep enough. Because you knew where it would lead. And you don’t want to end up there. Yet that’s where you ended up.

You wake up drenched in sweat most nights, the images from your dreams burned into your mind. No, not dreams. No no, they’re memories. You see them as clearly as the day they happened. You could feel your breath hitch over and over again, not believing you’d ever see it again. Not like this.

Namie. Her smile, her laugh, the way she’d always known just the right thing to say to pull you out of your moods. You see her standing there, in the middle of that cursed battlefield, her eyes wide with fear as she turns to you—too late. 

The curse’s claws tear through her chest before you can move, before you can scream. Blood sprays, her body crumples, and you’re left standing in the aftermath, paralyzed by your failure. You tell yourself it wasn’t your fault, but the words feel hollow. You were supposed to protect her. You were right there, and you couldn’t save her.

Then comes Kaiko. The guilt tastes different with her, but no less bitter. You see her face, contorted in anger and betrayal, hear her voice, venomous and raw, shouting your name as she lunges at you.

You remember the way her cursed energy crackled in the air, the sharp clash of your techniques, the moment her attack faltered and you struck back without hesitation.

She falls, her body collapsing in slow motion. Blood pools beneath her, a stark contrast to the pale, shocked expression on her face. She hadn’t thought you’d do it. You hadn’t thought you’d do it either.

But you did. The scene plays on repeat in your head every night. Namie died because you weren’t fast enough. Kaiko died because you were too fast. Over and over and over.

You sit on your bed, staring at your shaking hands. You tell yourself you’re strong. A sorcerer. Someone who can endure anything. But the truth is harder to swallow: you can’t handle being still. Because when you stop moving, the memories catch up to you..

Namie. Kaiko. The weight of their deaths pressing down on your chest, making it hard to breathe.

You glance at the calendar on your wall, the faint tick of the clock echoing in the stillness. Red lines mark the days since your last mission, stretching across the grid like tally marks on a prisoner’s wall. The numbers blur together, each one a reminder of time slipping by without purpose. It feels like an eternity.

And with each passing day, the nightmares grow louder, clawing their way into your thoughts. The stillness that was supposed to heal you now feels suffocating, like a weight pressing on your chest. You begin to wonder if this break—this rest—isn’t meant to fix you at all. Maybe it’s the thing that will finally break you.

The days drag on, stretching endlessly, and your attempts to find relief grow more desperate. You try everything—everything—to distract yourself, to fill the void the missions once occupied.

You pick up a book, hoping to lose yourself in its pages, but the words slip through your mind like water through a sieve. You read the same sentence five times before giving up, the book tossed aside onto a growing pile of failed attempts.

You wander aimlessly around town, hands shoved deep into your pockets as you roam familiar streets with no destination in mind. But the noise of the city only irritates you, and the fleeting glimpses of laughter and holiday cheer feel like a cruel mockery.

You even try your hand at hobbies you’d long since abandoned—sketching, fixing the old record player collecting dust in the corner, even cooking—but nothing clicks. Each attempt feels hollow, like going through the motions of someone else’s life.

Nothing works.

The memories are relentless, clawing at the edges of your mind, refusing to be silenced. Kaiko’s smile haunts you. The fireworks, the screams, the carols—they play on a loop in your head, a cruel symphony of the past.

And the quiet of your apartment feels like a prison. The walls seem to close in on you, pressing closer with each passing hour. The silence stretched taut, oppressive, and the ticking clock became even more  unbearable.

You sit on the couch, head in your hands, the can of soda long forgotten on the table. "This isn't a rest. This is torture." you mutter to yourself, your voice hoarse in the stillness. "This isn’t peace. This is—"

You stop, unable to put words to the feeling, but the emptiness swallows you whole. The weight of it presses down on you, suffocating, as if the very air around you thickens, making it harder to breathe. Your thoughts race in circles, but nothing makes sense. You try to ground yourself, to focus on something, anything, but the more you try, the more you slip away from it all.

Tears fall, heavy and relentless, as if they were always there, waiting for the moment when the dam would finally crack. You rock yourself gently in your arms, the motion a desperate attempt to comfort yourself, to find some semblance of control. But it doesn’t help. Nothing helps.

The room around you seems to close in, the walls pressing in from all sides. The silence, the stillness, it all becomes too much. The space feels claustrophobic now, oppressive, like the walls are suffocating you. You can’t escape it. You can’t escape yourself.

Each breath comes in ragged gasps, as if you’re trying to hold onto something, anything, to stop the flood of memories, the flood of pain. The darkness that has always been there, lurking at the edges, now seems to take shape, swirling around you like a living thing, creeping up your spine, curling its fingers around your throat.

The nightmares that have only been whispers in the background are no longer just in your sleep. They are here, in your apartment, in the silence. They’re alive, moving through every corner of your mind and your space.

Your sobs echo in the emptiness, the only sound in the room, and for a moment, you wonder if this is it—if this is all there is. If the endless cycle of pain, of isolation, is what’s meant for you. You wonder if you’ll ever find a way out, if the break, this supposed reprieve, will ever end.

But all you feel is the suffocating silence. The crushing weight of memories that won’t let you go. The cruel reminder that no matter how far you run, you can’t escape what’s inside you.

One cold winter evening, as the sky outside turns a bruised shade of purple, you sit on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. A sitcom plays, its canned laughter grating against the silence of the room. You’re not even paying attention to the plot; it’s just noise, something to drown out your thoughts.

Then, the doorbell rings.

You freeze. No one ever comes to your place unannounced. Hell, hardly anyone knows where you live. For a moment, you wonder if you imagined it. But then it rings again, louder this time. Dragging yourself off the couch, you shuffle to the door, your brows furrowing in confusion. Peering through the peephole, your confusion only deepens.

There, on your doorstep, stands those three.

Gojo Satoru was smiling at you so brightly.

Geto Suguru greets you warmly and kindly.

Ieiri Shoko waves at you, a cigarette on her lips.

You couldn’t help as you stood there in your Sanrio pajamas,  blinking at them like they’ve just stepped out of one of your nightmares—or maybe one of your better dreams. The cold winter air brushes inside as you stand there utterly frozen. 

“Senpaiiiii, it’s cold!” Satoru snapped you out of it. “Please let us in already!”

“Cry baby.” Shoko snickered, looking at her friend. “Who told you to not put a winter coat on?”

“I didn’t know it would be this cold, Sho! Let me live!”

Suguru sighed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry about this, senpai.”

"What are you three doing here?" you ask, your voice hoarse from disuse.

Satoru turns to you with a grin, his usual cocky demeanor firmly in place. He was cold, but he was going to smile at you regardless. He likes doing that for you, after all. He’s carrying a bag in one hand and waving with the other. 

"Nice place you’ve got here! We thought it was time for a little intervention. And talk about the heating system! Wow, really, if you just let us in—"

Your confusion deepens. "How do you even know where I live?"

"Yaga–sensei." Shoko says simply, lighting a cigarette as she steps past you into the apartment without waiting for an invitation. "He was worried about you, so he gave us your address."

You move to the side, giving enough space for Satoru to come in. Suguru could only shake his head as he asked if he could come in. You finally nodded. Shoko followed him inside, muttering a word of thanks. 

You glance back at Satoru, who’s already making himself at home, plopping onto your couch like he owns the place. He sets the bag down on the coffee table with a flourish. He takes the warmth of the room in with pleasure.

"And you’re welcome, by the way, senpai." he adds, shooting you a wink. "We brought snacks. And movies. And me, the best part of this little party."

Suguru, who’s been leaning casually against the doorframe, finally steps inside, his hands tucked into his pockets. "Yaga–sensei may have told us to go. But we figured you’d be holed up in here, overthinking everything like you always do. So we came to drag you out of your head for a while, if that’s alright with you.”

“I guess.” You blink at them, still processing their sudden appearance. "But I don’t need an intervention. I’m fine, you know?" you mumble, folding your arms defensively. 

Shoko snorts, exhaling a cloud of smoke from her cigarette. "Yeah, you look real fine, senpai." she says, gesturing vaguely at your pajamas, disheveled appearance and the mess in your living room. "When was the last time you left this place, senpai?"

You frowned at her, but before you could reply, Satoru interrupted her, waving her off. "Don’t worry about all that, senpai." he says, reaching into the bag and pulling out a container of something that smells suspiciously like takeout. 

"Tonight, we’re here to chill. No missions, no training, no brooding in the dark. Just us. And maybe a bad horror movie, if Suguru doesn’t complain too much."

"I always complain about your movie choices, Satoru." Geto mutters, but there’s a small smile tugging at his lips. “They’re always so questionable!”

For a moment, you consider kicking them out. You don’t want to be seen like this whatsoever. messy, vulnerable, barely holding it together. But then you catch the genuine concern in their eyes, hidden behind Satoru’s little jokes, Shoko’s eager bluntness, and Suguru's tender composure. They came here because they care, when they didn’t have to. 

And maybe—just maybe—you need this.

"Fine, fine." you mutter, stepping aside to let them fully invade your space. "But if Satoru picks something stupid, I’m kicking all of you out."

"Deal, senpai!" Gojo says cheerfully, already rifling through your meager DVD collection. "This is gonna be great. You’ll see."

And for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel something other than the suffocating weight of your memories. It’s small, fleeting. But it’s there. It was there and it was there to stay.  A spark of something warmer, lighter. Maybe, with them here, you won’t have to face it all alone.

As the night goes on, your small apartment feels strangely livelier than it has been in the past few weeks. The place, once a sanctuary of silence and isolation, has been overtaken by a chaotic kind of energy that feels foreign—and a little unsettling.

The three musketeers, Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru, have sprawled out in your living room like they own the place. Once the movie ended, Satoru wasted no time grabbing the remote and flipping through your TV channels with all the grace and decorum of a toddler on a sugar rush. 

The sound of random commercials and sitcoms blaring in the background mixes with the clinking of ice cubes as Shoko leans back on your armchair, casually sipping a drink she definitely helped herself to from your fridge.

Suguru, meanwhile, has settled himself on the floor, an amused smirk tugging at his lips as he watches it all unfold. He’s got that look, the one that says he’s aware of exactly what’s going on but finds it too entertaining to intervene.

"Did you really just switch to a cooking show, Satoru?" you ask, eyes narrowing in disbelief as you watch him channel-surf with zero sense of restraint.

"Yeah, I did, senpai." Satoru replies nonchalantly, glancing over at you with a grin. "What’s wrong with a little food porn? I’m trying to get inspired for the next big mission meal. I’ll make you a five-star ramen that’ll blow your mind."

You raise an eyebrow. "You? Cook? The same guy who couldn’t even make instant ramen noodles without setting off the smoke alarm?"

"That was one time, senpai!" Satoru protests, flicking the remote like he’s offended. "Besides, ramen's on a different level. You can’t just learn that, it’s an art form."

Shoko, from her spot on the armchair, rolls her eyes and takes another sip of her drink. "If by art form you mean you’ll burn water if left alone for two minutes then sure, go for it."

You sigh, rubbing your temples as the low hum of Satoru’s TV-flipping blends with Shoko’s quiet snark. Suguru’s chuckle is the only thing that cuts through the noise, and you glance at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You’re not helping, Suguru." you mutter back at him. “Honestly when you find yourself loosening up, you end up becoming a menace to me too.

Suguru just shrugs and smiles at you.. "Just enjoying the show, senpai." he says with that faint amusement still in his voice.

And then, as if the universe is trying to throw salt on your wounds, you glance at the time. Your stomach sinks, and the thought hits you like a freight train. They’re planning to stay the night, aren’t they?

“”Don’t tell me you didn’t have accommodations ready?” You direct the question to no one in particular.

But it’s clear from the smug glint in Satoru’s cerulean eyes that he knows exactly what’s coming. He’s like a kid who’s already picked out his spot on the couch for a sleepover. Shoko doesn’t even look at you as she casually lifts her glass at you.

"Yeah, pretty sure we’re all crashing here tonight. Hope that’s okay, senpai." she says, the words dripping with sarcasm.

"Didn’t even ask, huh?" you mutter under your breath, but there’s no real point in protesting.

Suguru gives you an almost apologetic look, though his smirk is still firmly in place. "You’re stuck with us, senpai. Might as well get comfy."

"Great, just great." you deadpan. "A full house. Just what I needed."

Satoru immediately perks up, sitting cross-legged on your couch like an overgrown child. "What are you talking about, senpai?" he says, his grin wide and unabashed. "You’ve got so much space in the living room! Look at this—practically a luxury penthouse." He gestures dramatically at the modest area, clearly exaggerating.

You narrow your eyes at him. "It’s not a penthouse. And what does it matter? You’re not staying."

He leans back against the couch, arms spread wide. "But I’ve never had a sleepover before," he says, with the kind of mock-innocence you know is meant to guilt-trip you. "C’mon, don’t ruin my first one."

Your eyebrows shoot up, and you blink at him, surprised. "Never?"

Satoru shakes his head, that grin of his still firmly in place. "Never. Clan rules, remember? Strict schedules, separate quarters, all that fun stuff."

Something in your chest twists at that. You think of your own childhood, so eerily similar. "Neither have I." you admit quietly, the words slipping out before you can stop them.

Suguru, who’s been observing the exchange with his usual calm, suddenly blinks in surprise. He looks between the two of you, and a flicker of understanding crosses his face. You sighed, crossing your arms at him.

"That’s right." he murmurs, almost to himself. "I forgot you guys didn’t grow up outside of clan culture."

The room falls into a brief, thoughtful silence. Shoko, for once, doesn’t break it with a sarcastic remark. Instead, she just takes another sip from her drink, watching the three of you with an unreadable expression. You shake your head at the situation at hand.

"Well…." Satoru says finally, his tone lighter, though his grin softens into something almost genuine. "There’s a first time for everything, right? And tonight’s as good a time as any. You’ve got your first sleepover buddies right here!"

You shake your head, exasperated. "You’re impossible."

"Yeah, but you like me anyway," Satoru couldn’t help but quip, winking.

Suguru sighs, shaking his head as he leans back against the wall. "He’s not wrong about space, though. We could manage, senpai."

"And mind you, senpai, you are outnumbered." Shoko adds lazily, her voice tinged with amusement. “Three to one is an ultimate defeat.”

You glance around your small living room, taking in the ridiculousness of the situation. There’s no way they’re going to leave. And maybe, just maybe, a part of you doesn’t want them to. You took a moment and then breathed deeply. You finally nodded.

"Fine, fine." you grumble back at them. "But if any of you snore, you’re out the door."

Satoru cheers like he’s just won a grand prize, while Suguru chuckles softly. Shoko smirks, flicking ash from her cigarette. As they start debating who gets the couch versus the floor, you can’t help but feel a strange sense of warmth settle in your chest. It’s new, unfamiliar—but not entirely unwelcome.

Satoru, flipping the remote like he’s discovered a new channel once again, grins even wider. "Trust me, senpai! You’ll not regret this in the morning. You’ve been moping around here for weeks. We’re here to enlighten you with our brilliant company."

Shoko chimes in, raising her glass in a mock toast. "To brilliant company."

Suguru chuckles. "It’s a rough job, but someone’s gotta do it."

“You three are just…” You smiled at them. “Head to sleep already.”\

Satoru was right in the end, as he always was.

You didn’t regret it one bit, the next day.

If anything, you still held this memory close to your heart.

══════════════════

YOU HAD GOTTEN ENOUGH SLEEP. But not enough, like before. And you were glad about it. The faint winter morning light filters gently through the curtains, casting soft shadows across the room. You stir slightly, still caught in the fog of sleep, your body reluctant to leave the warmth of your blankets as you sprawled onto the soft feather stuffed pillows. 

They had managed to rope you to sleep with them in the living room, almost truly like a sleep over, even when you wanted to sleep in your room. You had refused numerous times, but they kept going and asking. They weren’t giving up, so you had to defeat them in a coin toss. And they won. Hence, why you were here.

The quiet of the early morning lingers around you, comforting in its stillness, as the world outside remains frozen under a blanket of snow. It seemed like a good day to just laze around all morning. But just as you start to drift back into the comforting haze of sleep, the peace is shattered. An unmistakable voice, loud and intrusive, cuts through the silence like a knife.

"Rise and shine, sleepyheads!" Satoru’s overly cheerful tone cuts through the quiet, followed by the sound of him banging a pan with a spoon. "Come on! Up, up, up! We’ve got plans!"

You groan, rolling over and pulling your blanket over your head. "What now, Satoru?" you mutter. “It’s too early.”

From the couch, Suguru grumbles something incoherent, his voice muffled by a pillow. Shoko, sprawled on the floor with a blanket half-draped over her, opens one eye, her expression murderous. 

"Satoru, you idiot." she growls, her voice rough with sleep. "It’s too early for your nonsense. Shut up and let us sleep."

"But it’s not nonsense!" Satoru protests, his voice rising an octave in indignation. "You’ll never believe what I found out!" 

He marches over to the window, dramatically pulling back the curtains and flooding the room with sunlight. You groan at the light, your eyes snapping open. It’s not even that early, well at least not to Gojo Satoru. 

But to you and the other two, it was still pretty early enough to be annoyed. The sun was still up, brighter than you all wanted. You rub your eyes, squinting at the sun. Shoko however did not fare better, and nor did Suguru.

"Ow, my eyes!" Shoko snaps, covering her face with her blanket. “Satoru, you fucker!”

Suguru throws a pillow at Satoru, who dodges it effortlessly. "Whatever it is, Satoru, it can all wait." Suguru says, his voice thick with irritation. "I’m serious, Satoru. Some of us value our sleep."

"No, it can’t wait!" Satoru announces, grinning like a child on Christmas morning. "I found out we’re right near a theme park! Like, walking distance. We have to go!"

Both Shoko and Suguru groan in unison, their reactions almost synchronized. It’s like they’ve done this a thousand times before, and honestly, they probably have. You can see the shared look of exasperation pass between them, as if they’ve collectively accepted that nothing in their lives is ever going to be normal with Satoru around.

"You woke us up for that?" Shoko asks, glaring at him.

"It’s way too early for a theme park, Satoru." Suguru adds, rubbing his temple. "They’re not even open yet."

"But they will be, Suguru!" Satoru says, crossing his arms and pouting like a kid denied candy. "Come on, what’s wrong with you guys? Where’s your sense of adventure?"

"It’s still asleep, out of the jurisdiction, out of sight, out of mind." Shoko deadpans, rolling over.

Satoru dramatically huffs, throwing his arms in the air. "You’re all no fun!" 

Shoko rolls her eyes dramatically. "You really have no shame, do you, Satoru?" she mutters under her breath, clearly amused but trying to hide it. "What, is this what you do now? Drag people out of bed like some kind of high-energy nightmare?"

Suguru sighed, leaning against the pillow he was hugging. "I can’t believe you, Satoru. Do you ever just… let people live?"

“Meh, meh. Sorry, I don’t talk to not fun people.” He drops onto the edge of your side of the air mattress and smiles at you. "What about you, senpai? You’re cool, right? You’ll go with me!"

You sigh, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "If it’ll get you to stop acting like a five-year-old, then... sure. Why not?"

Satoru freezes, turning to look at you with wide, starry cerulean eyes. "Really?" he asks, his voice brimming with excitement.

You, now fully awake and regretting every decision that brought you to this point, look from one to the other, then back to Satoru. "Yeah, yeah. Okay, fine, you win. I’m up. Can you please just leave me with some shred of dignity before you turn my whole apartment into a circus?"

In an instant, Gojo Satoru scoots closer, practically glowing with abundant joy. He almost looked exactly like a puppy, happy about being given a treat for the first time. Oftentimes, you forget that he was also a clan kid like you, who never experienced these things as well as one regular person would. 

"You’re the best, senpai!" he says, his grin so dazzling it’s almost blinding. He leans in slightly, his face closer to yours than you expected, and the sudden proximity makes your heart skip a beat. “Ah, this is why you’re my favorite!”

You try to look away, feeling your entire face turn scarlet red. But his enthusiasm is contagious, and you find yourself smiling despite your embarrassment. You sighed at him, patting his shoulders. 

"Don’t make me regret this, Satoru." you mumble, your face warm. “We’re gonna have fun, but in a way we all would enjoy, okay?”

“Hm, as you say, senpai!” He replies, still heavily enthusiastic.

Suguru, still lying on the other side of the air mattress, lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Great. Now we’re all going, aren’t we?"

"Obviously, Suguboo!" Satoru replies, his grin widening as he hops off your side. "I mean, what’s a theme park trip without all my best friends?"

“Hey, don’t call me Suguboo.”

“But I don’t want to stop, Suguboo—” Suguru threw a pillow at him, hitting him on the face.

Shoko groans again, pulling her blanket over her head. "You owe me coffee for this, Satoru." she mutters. “I need a lot of it to get through the day.”

“The Gojo Satoru infinite wallet pouch is ready to serve you today!”

“It's better buy me the best of the best, Satoru.”

"Until then, let’s drink the one at home. So, I’ll go make coffee in the kitchen." you say with a sigh.

“Hm, thank you, senpai.” Shoko grumbles from her position.

You slowly stand up from your spot, every muscle protesting the movement as you stretch. You walk toward the kitchen, hoping the smell of freshly brewed coffee will help shake off the remnants of sleep clinging to you like a fog.

“Senpai—”

You don’t need to turn around to know it’s Satoru. You can hear the exaggerated whine in his voice before he even finishes the sentence.

“No, no, it’s fine.” you tell him, waving him off without looking back. “You guys are already causing enough chaos. Let me handle the coffee. I’ve got it.”

Gojo Satoru doesn’t take the hint. Instead, he pouts dramatically, his voice rising in that almost childlike plea that never fails to get under your skin. You could feel your eye twitch.

“But, senpai.” he whines again, his tone a mix of desperation and mock sadness. “You know I’m really bad at making coffee. Remember that one time I tried to brew it and we ended up with, like, coffee-flavored charcoal?”

You can’t help but snort, a small laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. “Yeah, I remember. I also remember you trying to make me some instant noodles, and I still haven’t forgiven you for that disaster.”

Satoru’s pout deepens, and he stares at you with those wide, blue eyes, his expression pleading like a lost puppy. “Senpai, please. I swear, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even throw in some cookies or something later. But just let me make the coffee, okay? I promise it’ll be good!”

You glance back at him over your shoulder, seeing his exaggerated frown, the way his lip quivers in mock sadness. He’s laying it on thick, but for some reason, it’s hard to keep a straight face. You shake your head. He’s such a child.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to burn down my kitchen, Satoru?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"That was one time!" he insists, dramatically throwing his arms up as though to plead his case. "One time, and I learned from my mistakes. I’m practically a professional now!" He gives a nod to himself as if he’s convinced of his own greatness.

You roll your purple eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitch. "Fine, fine." you relent, shaking your head in disbelief. "But if I end up with a cup of mud instead of coffee, you’re cleaning up the mess."

Satoru’s face lights up immediately, his eyes sparkling with what can only be described as pure glee. Ah, he can smile like that too, you think to yourself. “Deal! You won’t regret it, senpai, I promise!”

As you make your way toward the kitchen, you hear him behind you, his footsteps almost skipping with excitement. "You’ll see! This is going to be the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had! I’m practically a coffee connoisseur!"

You try to hide your smirk as you enter the kitchen, already bracing yourself for whatever absurdities Satoru is about to bring to the table. “I’ll believe it when I see it, Satoru.” you mutter under your breath.

Satoru pauses just before entering the kitchen, looking at you with mock seriousness. “Senpai, I’ve mastered the art of coffee. I’ve trained under the world’s finest baristas. You won’t even recognize the quality!”

You can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up from your chest. “Yeah, sure you have.”

Satoru steps into the kitchen with far too much confidence, already reaching for the coffee beans like he’s about to perform a magic trick. You know this is going to be interesting. You watch him closely. 

"This is gonna be amazing." he mutters to himself, as if trying to convince both of you.

You shake your head, standing back to watch the chaos unfold. Whatever happens next, you’re almost certain it’ll be more entertaining than your original plan of quietly making the coffee yourself.

As Gojo Satoru makes the coffee, he starts buzzing around and chattering about which rides to hit first, you can’t help but feel a little less annoyed about the early wake-up call. His excitement is ridiculous, sure—but it’s also kind of... endearing. 

Well, you’ve known that the moment you met him. But seeing it over and over again, it always made your heart ever warmer towards him. He’s different from every other clan folk you’ve met. And you were glad for that. You need more kind people in those spaces.

The soft morning haze still lingers, casting a gentle glow through the kitchen window as Satoru practically dances around your kitchen, his enthusiasm infectious but undeniably over-the-top. He’s already rattling off every possible ride and snack the theme park might offer, his words spilling out in rapid bursts like a hyperactive child who's had one too many sugar rushes.

"I swear, the rollercoaster is gonna be insane! I saw it on their website! And they’ve got this new cotton candy that’s like... blue and pink and it’s literally out of this world! Oh, and the haunted house? Don't even get me started. It's supposed to be the scariest thing ever! I’m telling you, we’re gonna have so much fun, senpai!” 

He continues talking for a little bit more, moving around the kitchen like a whirlwind, pulling out everything he needs with too much flair—coffee beans, a grinder, and what you can only assume is the most complicated brewing setup you’ve ever seen.

You stand by the counter, watching the chaos unfold with the kind of resigned amusement that only Satoru can provoke. You cross your arms and lean against the countertop. “Did you wake up on a sugar high, or is this your normal level of insane?”

Satoru spins around with a bright grin, his hair still slightly messy from sleep but somehow looking perfect in that way only he can manage. “Who needs sugar when life is this exciting? Also, if I don’t make this coffee, I’m pretty sure your day will be cursed, senpai. It’s like a public service.”

You can’t help but snort at his dramatic flair, though you can’t deny the faint smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Right. And I suppose the curse you’re talking about involves caffeine-fueled chaos?”

"Exactly!" Satoru says, as though it’s the most logical thing in the world. “I mean, what’s life without a little chaos? You need this, senpai.”

You can only shake your head as he starts brewing the coffee. The machine whirs to life with a hum that cuts through the air, and Satoru, ever the perfectionist (or at least pretending to be), stands over it like a chef preparing a Michelin-starred dish. His face is a study in concentration, except for the occasional exaggerated eyebrow raise as he checks to see if you're watching.

He adds the coffee grounds with a flourish, as if it’s some kind of secret recipe, and begins to press buttons and twist knobs, making it all seem far more complicated than it really is. He’s making it harder for himself.

"Don’t you think you're taking this a little too seriously?" you ask, still leaning against the counter. “It’s just coffee, not a rocket launch.”

Satoru doesn’t even glance at you as he nods, clearly in the zone. “Senpai, the key to a perfect cup of coffee is precision. It’s an art form. I’ve mastered the art of brewing.” He shoots you a look, clearly proud of himself. “You’ll see.”

As the scent of coffee starts to fill the room, you watch him continue to move around with far too much energy. His arms are wide, gesturing as though he’s explaining some life-changing revelation. “I’m telling you, the theme park’s going to be insane. They’re bringing in a whole new section for kids! You know what that means? More rides for us!”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no denying how contagious his energy is, even if it’s borderline exhausting. “Right, because you’re so mature.” you tease, though you can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. “How does that even make sense? You’re literally going on rides for children.”

He pauses for a beat, then grins wider, as if proud of his reasoning. “You can’t blame a guy for wanting to have fun! Anyway, once this coffee’s ready, we can start planning. You’ll be wide awake and full of energy. Trust me, you’ll need it.”

You watch him for a moment longer, his utter absurdity and boundless enthusiasm filling the space like an electric current. The coffee machine hums away in the background, and you can feel the sleepiness start to melt away despite yourself. 

Maybe, just maybe, a little chaos in your day wouldn’t be the worst thing. After all, with someone like Satoru around, it’s never really quiet anyway. But maybe, just maybe, that’s for the best. It would keep the nightmares away, even for a little while.

"Did you know they have this crazy roller coaster that does a full 360 loop?" Satoru exclaims, pulling up images of the park on his phone and shoving the screen into Suguru’s face, as he drinks the coffee.

Suguru, still lying on the couch as he drinks the coffee, swats lazily at Satoru’s hand without even opening his dark purple orbs. "Satoru, please.”  he says in a gravelly voice. "It's not even 7 a.m. The park won’t open for hours. Go entertain yourself until then."

"But if we wait, the lines will be insane." Satoru whines, dropping dramatically onto the arm of the couch. "And if we don’t go early, we won’t get to ride everything!"

"Sounds tragic, really." Shoko mutters from her spot on the floor, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she peeks out from under her blanket. "Really, I don’t know how we’d recover from such a loss."

Satoru ignores her, spinning on his heel to face you. His glasses are perched lazily around his neck, and his azure eyes sparkle with an almost childlike glee. You drink your own coffee in silence. You didn’t want to look at him, but when your own lilac eyes and his own orbs met, you were done for.

"Come on, senpai." he pleads, clasping his hands together. "You already said you’d go. Convince these two party poopers!"

You rub your temples, already feeling the beginnings of a headache. But then he turns those eyes on you, full of such unbridled excitement that it catches you off guard. It’s rare to see Gojo Satoru like this, unfiltered and genuinely animated and fully eager, and something about it makes your earlier irritation melt away.

You sigh, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed. "Fine, fine. I already said I’d go, didn’t I?"

Satoru freezes for a moment, then lights up like a firework. "You’re the best!" he exclaims, bounding toward you. He stops just shy of your position, crouching down so he’s at eye level. "No, really. You’re the absolute best. I knew you wouldn’t let me down!"

His face is close—too close. You can see the flecks of light in his cerulean blue eyes, the faint curl of his grin, and the way his energy practically radiates off him in waves. It’s overwhelming, and before you know it, your cheeks are burning.

"Stop looking at me like that, Satoru. I’m trying to drink the coffee." you mutter, turning your face away.

Satoru tilts his head, his grin morphing into something softer, more amused. "Like what?"

"Like that." you snap, though your voice lacks bite. You feel like a flustered mess, and his teasing only makes it worse.

Behind you, Suguru sits up, his hair falling messily over his shoulders. "This is exactly why I said no sleepovers. In fact, never again." he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. "I forgot how exhausting the two of you can be together."

"You forgot because you’re just a party pooper." Satoru quips, standing up straight and stretching his arms over his head. "Come on, you two. Get up already! We’ve got a theme park to conquer! Sho, drink the coffee!"

"You’ve got a death wish, waking people up like this. On a Sunday, no less." Shoko says, dragging herself into a sitting position. She looks at you and smirks, her sharp gaze catching the faint redness in your cheeks. "And you. Blushing over Gojo Satoru, senpai? Never thought I’d see the day."

"I’m not blushing!" you snap defensively, though the warmth in your face betrays you. “It’s just hot, yeah, it’s just….”

"Sure, sure." Shoko says, standing up and stretching lazily. "I’ll let it slide since I’m getting Satoru’s black card paying for everything.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just get up and drink the coffee, Sho!”

Suguru lets out a long sigh, standing and brushing imaginary dust off his pants. "Fine. Let’s get this over with. But if I hear one complaint about how tired you are later, Satoru, I'll convince senpai to leave you stranded at the park by yourself."

"Deal!" Satoru chirps, already darting to the kitchen to grab snacks for the road. "This is going to be amazing, you’ll see!"

As the sun starts to warm your face, the faint glow of early morning sunlight breaking through the coolness of the winter air, you find yourself inexplicably smiling. You can’t help it—no matter how ridiculous it all is, no matter how absurd Satoru’s plans seem, something about this feels right. You finally finished your coffee.

“Maybe this break is exactly what I needed.” you admit, glancing up at the sky. “Not just the time off, but… well, this.” You gesture to the group, already well into some new debate about which roller coaster will give them the best thrill. 

Shoko gives you a knowing look, her eyes slightly squinted in amusement. “Oh, so you’re finally admitting you’re not completely immune to chaos, huh?”

You shrug with a smirk. “I’m just saying, if I have to be dragged into a theme park against my will, at least it’s with the most entertaining people possible.”

Suguru shakes his head with a chuckle. “You know, I thought you were the one who was going to drag us into your chaos, senpai. But look at you now, following his lead.”

Satoru turns around mid-step, his energy never faltering. “Of course! It’s a lifestyle, people! Living on the edge, embracing the madness! You can thank me later when you’ve experienced true joy.”

“And I’ll thank you later when I recover from the exhaustion.” you mutter, but you can’t help but laugh. 

Even if it’s a little chaotic, maybe it’s exactly the kind of break you needed. You’d never admit it to Satoru, but the thought of having a day without responsibilities or missions, without constantly running from one problem to the next, feels like the small escape you’ve been craving.

As the group heads toward the train station, Gojo Satoru still chattering about all the fun things you’re about to experience, you realize that despite all your reluctance and doubts, maybe this chaotic, ridiculous, and loud is exactly what you needed after all.

══════════════════

YOU HADN’T EXPECTED TO FEEL SO FAMILIAR THE MOMENT YOU STEPPED INTO THE GATES OF THE THEME PARK. You used to come here often, with….them. Each time you have the time of day from the week, they would suggest coming here.

It wasn’t too far from Kyoto Jujutsu High, so it was pretty easy to make your way here and then back home in a quick succession. But you haven’t been back since. So, you were surprised that it would still feel familiar and all at the same time, feel different.

The noise of the theme park surrounds you like a warm, chaotic hug—the laughter of children, the shrill screams of riders zooming by on roller coasters, the sugary scent of cotton candy and funnel cakes hanging in the air.

It’s a whirlwind of bright colors, flashing lights, and energy, but you feel strangely detached, standing on the sidewalk in front of the entrance.

It’s been so long since you’ve been to a theme park—six years, maybe more—and the memories that rise to the surface aren’t the happiest. The last time you were here, you were with Namie and Kaiko, and everything seemed so simple. 

You can still remember the sound of their laughter, the way their faces had lit up when they’d seen their favorite ride, the way they had dragged you to the food stalls for overpriced snacks. It was carefree. Happy. But that’s not how you feel now.

The moment stretches on as you find yourself lost in thought, staring at the entrance like it's miles away from you. Before you can sink further into the old memories, you feel a soft presence next to you—gentle, like the calm after a storm.

Suguru stands beside you, not crowding you, but close enough to show that he’s here. He watches you for a moment, his sharp gaze taking in your distant expression. You didn’t even realize how far you had drifted from the group until now.

"Hey, senpai." he says, his voice soft and steady. "You alright?"

You blink, slowly turning toward him, and suddenly realize how out of it you must have looked. It’s hard to hide things from Geto Suguru; he’s the one who always seems to notice when you’re not quite there. You try to brush it off, offering him a small, tight smile.

"Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking," you mutter, hoping that will be enough to convince him.

But Suguru isn’t fooled. "Thinking about what?"

You hesitate, your thoughts still clinging to the past like sticky cobwebs, but you push them away. You can’t stay in that space forever, not here, not today. You didn’t want to dampen the mood.

And you highly doubt that it’s wise to bring up Kaiko. Geto Suguru would at least have a rough knowledge about who she is. But still, a part of you was protective of her. Even with what she had become, you loved her. You still did. You always will.

"The last time I came to a theme park, it was with my own team, in Jujutsu High." you admit quietly. "I guess it’s just... weird being here without them."

Suguru doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he stands there for a moment, looking at you with an understanding that makes your heart do a small flip. Then, without skipping a beat, he asks you with a small smile.

"What’s something you’re looking forward to today? Something you can enjoy here, just for you, senpai?”

You blink at him, caught off guard by the question. It’s simple—too simple, but somehow it feels like it’s exactly what you needed to hear. Your thoughts trail back to the rides, the sweet treats, the nostalgic excitement of being at a theme park. You hadn’t thought about what you wanted. It had all been about avoiding the past.

"I... I guess I used to love roller coasters, I suppose." you admit, a little sheepishly, as you glance around at the bustling theme park. "And the food, of course. They have some good sandwiches here. But, of course, it's so overpriced, but it always tastes amazing."

Suguru’s lips curl into a soft, almost amused smile as he watches your face light up, just a little. He doesn’t say anything at first, just watches you, taking in the subtle shift in your demeanor. Then, with a flick of his hand, he gestures to the chaos around you, as if presenting it like a gift. 

“Well, what better place to indulge, huh?”

You chuckle at his nonchalant presentation of the madness around you. It’s comforting, somehow. It’s like he can see exactly what you need without saying a word. It’s one of the reasons why, in all the chaos, Geto Suguru feels like the calm center. He can be a safe zone. You think you could consider him as one.

"Then let’s make today about you, senpai." he says, his voice warm and steady. "You like roller coasters, right? Go get on one. You can even scream as loud as you want." He pauses for a beat, his eyes twinkling just a bit. “If you want, I’ll go with you.”

A laugh bubbles out of you at the thought of getting on a ride and screaming your head off. You didn’t think you could feel even a little bit of excitement today, but there it is—a lightness that you didn’t know you were missing. You shake your head slightly, but there’s a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Scream as loud as I want, huh? That might not be pretty, but sure, I’ll take you up on that.”

Suguru’s smile widens at the sight of you relaxing, just a little. His presence is so calm, so steady, that it feels like the weight on your shoulders lightens just from his quiet support. You find it oddly comforting, like the world is allowed to be a little less heavy for just a moment.

"You don’t have to hold back, you know." he continues, his voice soft but insistent. "Let go for once. It's just you, me, and the roller coasters. It’s about having fun. You’ve been too serious for too long." He gives you a knowing look, his expression sincere. “I get it. Sometimes you need someone to remind you how to laugh.”

His words are gentle, but they carry more weight than you'd expect. Suguru has a way of making you feel seen, like he knows the quiet battles you fight even when you don’t say a word. The tension in your chest eases, and for the first time since arriving, you feel something like hope stirring inside you. 

You realize how badly you’ve been craving a moment like this—something simple, something that doesn’t feel like a mission or a responsibility. It’s just a day, just a small escape. And you were grateful, grateful that you don’t feel this heavy weight on you. Even just one day.

“I might just take you up on that, Suguru.” you say, your smile widening as you meet his gaze. "But if I scream my lungs out, I’m blaming you."

Suguru chuckles softly, a warm, genuine sound that fills the space between you. "Deal. But I’ll be right there with you. We’ll make it a proper scream-fest."

With that, you feel your shoulders relax further, the weight on your chest lifting. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve been missing the little joys like this. The chaos, the laughter, and Suguru’s quiet support. You realize that sometimes, it’s the simplest things, the smallest moments, that make all the difference.

"And hey, senpai." Suguru adds, leaning in a bit closer, his voice dropping to a playful whisper, as if he's sharing a top-secret plan. "If you feel embarrassed, we can have Satoru with us. I’m sure he’ll scream worse and be scared worse. He’ll never live it down. Or better yet, let’s get him on a bungee ride. I’m sure he’ll look absolutely terrible on camera while he screams.”

You blink at him, and for a moment, you actually consider it. The image of Gojo Satoru flailing around on a bungee ride, his usual air of invincibility replaced by sheer terror, is just too funny to ignore. The mental picture has you snorting a little, despite yourself.

“You’re actually a menace.” you reply with a grin, shaking your head. “But that does sound like something I could get behind.”

Suguru’s grin widens, his purple eyes sparkling with mischief. “I thought you’d like that idea. It’ll be hilarious. Can you imagine the look on his face when he realizes he’s about to jump off a platform, all while trying to look cool?”

You can't help but laugh at the thought of Satoru trying to keep up his cool guy persona while the bungee cord yanks him into a wild, screaming freefall. “You know, you’re right. He would try to act like it’s no big deal, and then probably end up screaming like a baby.”

Suguru chuckles, clearly enjoying the idea just as much as you are. “Exactly. He won’t know what hit him. And then we’ll never let him live it down. We’ll put the footage on a loop in the dorms. Great cinematic masterpiece!”

At this point, you're grinning ear-to-ear, the tension from earlier all but forgotten. “I’m so in. I’m going to bring it up next time we’re all together.”

Suguru laughs, giving you a playful nudge. “I knew you’d come around. Best part is, he won’t even see it coming. Just wait until you hear him scream. You’ll thank me later.”

The way his laughter seems to light up the space between you makes your heart skip a beat. His words, the way he’s paying attention to you in a way that feels so... personal, warm you from the inside out. 

It’s not just about the theme park or the roller coasters anymore, those are little trivial things. It’s the small things—the way he cares without making a big deal about it. You don’t have to carry everything alone. Not when he’s around.

You clear your throat, feeling your cheeks redden under his gaze. "Thanks, Suguru." you murmur, looking away, not quite able to hold his gaze for too long. "I needed that."

He chuckles softly, the sound low and rich, like a warm breeze. "Anytime, senpai. I’m always here for you."

You give him a small, bashful smile, feeling a flutter in your chest as you turn toward the rest of the group. Satoru’s already waving at you from the front of the line for a roller coaster, looking far too excited for someone who’s supposed to be exhausted from sleeping late last night.

You could believe Shoko’s own demeanor to be more true to life, as she grumbles drinking her mocha frappe beside Satoru in the quiet. You glance back at Suguru, who’s still standing beside you, his calm demeanor making you feel a little more grounded.

"Alright." you say, finally feeling a bit more you than you did when you first walked into the park. "Let’s do this. But I’m not going on the bungee rides, no matter how much you try to make me."

Suguru raises an eyebrow, his smile still soft. "We’ll see about that, senpai. I can be pretty persuasive, after all."

You blush, rolling your lilac eyes, but as the group starts to move toward the ride, you feel lighter. It’s a small step, but a step forward nonetheless. Today, you’re going to enjoy the little things. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll let yourself have a little fun along the way.

As you walk toward Satoru and Shoko, you could tell that there was going to be chaos on the ride ahead. You could feel Suguru’s quiet presence beside you, as he follows you and the warmth in your chest spreads, gentle and comforting.

Maybe this can be a day for new memories with them. Not just old ones you’ve been keeping too deep inside. Maybe you could have more in this life than the grief too big to carry in your heart.

The moment you and Suguru start to fall in step with the rest of the group, Satoru was already bouncing on his heels, antsy with excitement. His cerulean eyes are practically sparkling as he spots the first ride beside the booths.

It was a towering, twisting roller coaster that loops and plunges in ways that make even the most adrenaline-junkie riders second guess their life choices.

“Come on! We’re going on this one first!” Satoru says, grabbing your wrist before you can even protest. His grip is firm but playful, and he tugs you along like you’re a piece of loose paper in the wind. “We’re going to have so much fun here!”

You stumble slightly as he pulls you forward, and your heart skips a beat at how sudden and strong his pull is. You knew he was enthusiastic, but you didn’t expect him to not be afraid of that. It was worse than a regular roller coaster you enjoyed.

"Whoa, Gojo Satoru—slow down!" you manage to get out, trying to keep your balance as you hurry to keep up with his eager steps. His energy is so contagious that it's a bit overwhelming, and you’re already feeling a little winded just from trying to keep up with him.

Satoru looks over his shoulder at you, giving you a wide grin, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously. "Oh? You scared, senpai?" he teases, slowing just a little, but not enough for your liking. “I thought you were a roller coaster person!”

"I am!" you reply, more defensively than you mean to. "But I don’t need to break into a sprint to get on a ride, Satoru!" You wince, realizing you’re practically out of breath already. “You’re just too fast for me, that’s all.”

He chuckles, slowing his pace just enough to let you catch up, though you can still see the excitement bubbling in his gaze. He turns fully toward you, flashing that trademark grin. “Sorry, sorry! I just really want you to have fun! This ride is amazing, you’ll see! It’ll make you forget all about whatever you were thinking about earlier.” He winks, as though this is some grand plan to distract you.

You can’t help but blush at his playful confidence. It’s hard to ignore the way his presence takes over a space, even when he's just trying to drag you onto a ride. “You’re way too much sometimes, you know that?”

Satoru laughs, his hand still holding yours tightly as he walks backward in front of you, his gaze never leaving yours. “What? I’m just being enthusiastic! You’re gonna love it. I promise.”

You try to resist, but his energy is infectious, and despite your initial hesitation, you find yourself smiling. You glance over at Suguru and Shoko, who are walking a few paces behind, Suguru shaking his head with a small smile, clearly used to Gojo’s antics by now.

"Satoru," you say, pulling back just slightly, trying to dig in your heels. "I’m not sure I’m ready for that huge of a ride right off the bat. I mean, I—"

But before you can finish your sentence, Satoru is already gripping your hand a little tighter, his signature grin plastered across his face. Without hesitation, he begins turning you toward the massive roller coaster queue, practically dragging you along. 

“Nope, no backing out now, senpai! You said you’d scream, so let’s scream!”

"Wait, Satoru, seriously—!" you protest, stumbling a little as he pulls you forward with alarming enthusiasm.

"Suguru, help!" you call out, half-laughing and half-panicking, like a kid being dragged along by an overzealous parent.

Suguru, who’s been watching this whole spectacle with an amused smirk, laughs out loud. "Alright, alright. I’ll come with you, senpai." He gives you a knowing look, one that says he’s not about to let you go through this alone.

"Good. Thank you." you mutter, slightly relieved, though you're not sure how much that’ll actually help. Suguru’s calm presence is certainly reassuring, but there’s no amount of support that could fully prepare you for the monstrous roller coaster looming in front of you.

Satoru, in all his glory, turns to you with an exaggerated wink. “Don’t worry, senpai. You’re gonna love it. And if you scream like a little kid, I won’t judge... much.” He chuckles, then starts tugging you forward again. “Come on, let’s make this fun! Just think about the view from the top!”

“You’re both insane,” you mutter, though you can’t hide a reluctant grin. You can tell you’re probably not getting out of this one, not with Satoru’s unshakeable confidence and Suguru’s good-natured support. Maybe this would end up being more fun than you expected—though you’d reserve judgment until after the ride.

Suguru gives you a small smile, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Hey, it’s all about enjoying the moment. Besides, if you scream, we’ll have some great footage for the bungee to laugh at later. Let him have his fun here."

You pause, shooting him a sideways glance. “You guys really have it out for me today, don’t you?”

"Of course," Suguru replies with a teasing tone. "You look like you could use a good scream."

"You're going to pay for this." you warn both of them, but you can’t help the slight chuckle that escapes. Maybe, just maybe, this chaotic day was exactly what you needed after all.

“I’ll take three tickets, please.” he says confidently, practically bouncing on his feet as he hands over the money. “And they’re both with me!” 

He gestures to you and Suguru with exaggerated flair, and for a moment, you can’t help but roll your eyes, though you can’t fight the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips. His enthusiasm is impossible to resist.

As the three of you board the ride and take your seats, Satoru buckles in beside you with exaggerated care, flashing you a playful wink. "See? I told you we’d have fun."

Suguru takes your hand and smiles at you. “It’s going to be okay, senpai. We’re here with you.”

You chuckle nervously, glancing at the massive drops ahead of you. “You know, you’re really making me regret agreeing to this.”

Satoru tilts his head, his glasses slightly shifting as he grins. "I’m just here to help you face your fears, senpai.” He gives you a look of mock seriousness. "If you scream, I won’t judge. Promise."

You snort, shaking your head. "I’m not scared. I just don’t like being dragged into things at full speed."

The ride jerks to life hard, and before you know it, the cart lurches forward. You feel your stomach leap as you zoom forward on the track, the wind whipping through your hair.

And for a split second, you forget everything, the past, the hesitation, the weight of your thoughts. It’s just the rush, the dizzying sensation of the roller coaster twisting, turning, and plunging.

And there, right next to you, Satoru and Suguru’s faces are lit up with the brightest, most carefree smile you’ve ever seen. Their bright purple and cerulean orbs are wide with excitement, and you can’t help but laugh, the sound drowned out by the noise of the ride. 

You scream as you plummet down one of the steep drops, still holding onto Suguru’s hand. The other free one is trying to reach for Satoru’s, who catches yours as he laughs against the drop. The rush of adrenaline flooding your veins, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel free.

As the ride slows and the ground levels out, Satoru turns toward you, his grin wide and unashamed. "See? Told you you’d love it."

“You really are gripping my hand hard, senpai.” Suguru butted in too, grinning. “You sure you aren’t scared anymore?”

You look at him, laughing, feeling the aftershocks of the ride still coursing through you. “You’re impossible. Both of you.” you say, though your tone is affectionate, and your cheeks are flushed, partly from the ride, partly from the fact that he’s just too damn charming.

Satoru just beams, squeezing your hand briefly before letting go. “Impossible is my middle name, senpai.”

Suguru laughs. “Wah, Satoru. That’s the worst thing you could have said. Corny as shit.”

“Hey, it was great!”

And for the first time in a long while, you find yourself really laughing, your worries forgotten, at least for now. Maybe it’s not about the past at all. Maybe it’s about moments like this, moments of pure, unadulterated fun.

With them by your side, you realize you might just start looking forward to more of them. For the first time in a while, you think you could smile with the utmost tenderness from your heart.

══════════════════

THERE WAS STILL MUCH TO EXPLORE. The sun is high, and the day stretches before you, bright and full of promise. The chaos of the theme park no longer feels overwhelming; instead, it’s just... fun. Y

ou’re laughing, you’re present, and the weight of the past feels just a little lighter with every ride, every bite of food, and every moment spent with the group.

The roller coaster was only the beginning, and now, you find yourself happily floating through the park, trying out different attractions with Satoru dragging you from one to the next like an excited child.

While Suguru keeps a steady, slightly exasperated pace beside you. His protective, calming energy balances out Satoru’s manic enthusiasm perfectly, and you can’t help but appreciate how easy it is to be around him, even in the middle of all this chaos. 

Shoko had taken the liberty of following you guys and disappearing, with Satoru’s black card in hand and buying at the gift stores. She was enjoying herself as much as everyone else too. When she wasn’t doing that, she was taking pictures and videos on her phone. Satoru excitedly tells her to send the videos over to him later. 

But of course, Gojo Satoru’s antics are far from over.

“Look at this!” Satoru exclaims, his voice nearly drowned out by the noise of the park as he rushes over to a nearby cart with trinkets. "I have to get this! It’s a giant plushie version of a panda! It's practically begging me to take it home!"

Before anyone can protest, Satoru’s already handing over wads of cash to the vendor, grinning wildly as he tosses the plushie over his shoulder like it’s no big deal. The panda plush is almost as tall as he is, which makes it even more ridiculous, but Gojo doesn’t seem to care.

Suguru, who has been following along at a slower pace, shakes his head with a smile that’s half exasperation, half fondness. "Satoru, that thing’s the size of a small child. You really think you’re going to carry that around the park?"

Satoru doesn’t miss a beat. "It’ll be my new best friend!" he declares dramatically, as if it’s the most reasonable thing in the world. "You don’t get it, Suguru. It has character. It’ll make the trip ten times more fun!"

By this point, you also needed a break. So you found yourself joining Shoko as the two continued to argue. You and Shoko, who have been happily munching on snacks while observing the aftermath of their ridiculous skirmish, exchange a glance. 

Shoko takes another bite of her cotton candy and grins. "At least they’re both having fun, don’t you think?" she says, her tone dry but amused. "And if you’re being honest, you kind of like having them around like this, don’t you, senpai?"

You blush at her words, suddenly self-conscious. "I... I mean, who doesn’t? They’re both good people. And good natured too!"

Shoko raises an eyebrow, that mischievous glint never leaving her eyes. "Right. One’s a man-child who thinks a giant stuffed panda is a necessity and the other arguing about how that isn’t a necessity with the passion of a thousand suns. Hm."

You laugh, a little embarrassed but also entertained by how spot-on she is. "Okay, maybe they’re both a little much sometimes.  But it’s hard not to get caught up in their enthusiasm. Satoru’s—well, he’s fun. And Suguru keeps that well–balanced, don’t you think?"

Shoko gives you a knowing look, her smile a little softer now, and you realize she might have noticed something you haven’t quite put into words. You shift uncomfortably, but before you can think too much about it, Satoru comes running back over to you, holding the giant panda up in the air like it’s some sort of victory flag.

"Look at this thing! Isn’t it amazing, senpai?" he says, practically bouncing with excitement. "I’m going to name it Taro. And no, Suguru, you can’t stop me."

Suguru sighs dramatically but can’t quite hide his smile. "I’ve given up at this point." he mutters, taking a french fry from your food box. "Do whatever you want."

You giggle at the dynamic between them. It’s like watching a child and his ever-patient older sibling, and it’s oddly endearing. You’d never had a sibling, but looking at them, you wondered if this is what it was like. 

"Well, Taro looks very... Gojo Satoru coded, don’t you think?" you say, reaching out to pat the plushie’s oversized head. "You two are practically made for each other."

Satoru beams at you, clearly thrilled with your approval. "Right? I knew you’d get it!" He gives the panda a dramatic hug, causing you to laugh even harder.

Meanwhile, Shoko, who's been quietly watching the exchange, takes another bite of her food before leaning toward you with a grin. “So, do you think this is a sign that Gojo Satoru’s never going to grow up?” she asks, a little teasing. “Our very own Peter Pan!”

You laugh and shrug. "I mean, who needs to grow up when you’ve got a giant panda plushie and a whole theme park to play in?"

Shoko nods sagely, as if this is the most reasonable thing in the world. "True. At least it keeps him entertained."

As you continue walking, Satoru and Suguru continue talking animatedly ahead of you, Shoko nudges you gently with her elbow. “But hey, senpai.” she says, her voice a little softer now, “I’m glad you’re here. I know it’s not easy for you. But you’re doing okay.”

The kindness in her voice catches you off guard, and you blink, surprised by the sincerity behind her words. "Thanks, Shoko." you say quietly. "I think I needed this. This moment, today."

“Good.” she says with a small, warm smile. “We all need to have some fun once in a while. Besides, Satoru wouldn’t let you get away without a little chaos. It's his specialty."

You laugh again, the sound light and free, and for the first time in a long while, you feel like you can breathe a little easier. Maybe you’ve been taking life too seriously. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be a little reckless and carefree every once in a while.

And with Satoru pulling you toward yet another ride with Taro under his arm, you realize that you’re actually happy. Maybe this is what you’ve been missing—moments like these. Moments with people who understand you, who bring out your laughter, who make you forget the darker parts of your past, even if just for a day.

As Satoru hands you a churro, his grin wide and infectious, you feel your heart lighten. Maybe, just maybe, you’re starting to enjoy the chaos after all. You and the others continue enjoying the park, the laughter and chaos of Satoru’s little antics here and there providing a comforting backdrop, you find yourself starting to lose track of time. 

The once bright winter sun’s starting to dip lower in the sky, casting everything in a warm, golden light. You’re just about to take another bite of your churro when you hear a familiar voice call out to you from behind.

"Senpai….is that... you?" The voice sounds amused, a little teasing, and you immediately recognize it.

You turn, still holding the churro in your hand, and blink in surprise when you spot two very familiar faces making their way through the crowd. Iori Utahime is the first to wave, her expression a mix of surprise and slight exasperation as she spots you. 

Kusakabe Atsuya is also trailing behind her, looking as stoic as ever but with a rare smile tugging at the corners of his lips when he spots you crowding with the Tokyo trio. You blinked and then smiled widely, waving at them.

"Utahime! Kusakabe!" you say, a little surprised but smiling nonetheless. “What are you guys doing here?”

Utahime smirks, crossing her arms as she gives you an exaggerated look. "I could ask you the same thing, senpai. But I guess it’s not surprising you'd be here.”

“Hm, I still live in Kyoto, no?”

“Yeah, I know. But considering all the hype Gojo Satoru’s been making about it, it’s a different loudness to behold." She tilts her head toward Satoru, who’s still clutching his giant panda plushie, clearly oblivious to the attention it’s drawing.

Satoru perks up at the mention of his name and waves the plushie in the air like a victory flag. "Hey, Utahime! Kusakabe!" he calls, completely unapologetic about the chaos he’s caused. "Come join the party! You guys have to ride the roller coaster. It’s amazing."

Utahime raises an eyebrow but doesn't seem all that surprised by Satoru’s little antics. "I'll pass on the roller coaster, thanks. But the food smells good, so I'll gladly join you for that." She glances at the churro in your hand and adds, "You’ve got the right idea, senpai."

You chuckle, holding up the churro in silent offering, and Utahime eagerly accepts. "Nice to see you’re indulging. It’s pretty good, this churro!" she comments with a small grin, then turns to Kusakabe, who’s silently surveying the park, arms crossed as usual. 

Kusakabe shrugs, clearly indifferent but still managing a rare, approving glance your way. "I’m just here because she dragged me along. She said it’s not good to hide away in the dorms all day.”

“I’m going to say she’s right.” You smiled at him. “You do hide away often, still practicing.”

“You’re not making a scene, are you, Gojo?" Kusakabe asks, his tone flat but carrying just a hint of sarcasm.

Satoru’s grin widens even further, and he walks over to Kusakabe, putting an arm around his shoulders in the most obnoxious, over-the-top way. "Making a scene? Me? Never!" Satoru says, practically vibrating with energy. "I’m just making memories with senpai and my friends, my man. This is what it’s all about!"

Kusakabe doesn’t even flinch, though you catch the faintest glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "Right, right." he mutters dryly. "Making memories... with a stuff toy named Taro."

Satoru holds the panda up proudly. "Taro is my companion for the day! You can’t argue with that!"

You find yourself laughing, the sight of Satoru’s overenthusiasm, Kusakabe’s dry humor, and Utahime’s grin at the churro making the day feel even more perfect. It’s strange, but for once, you don’t mind the noise, the chaos. It feels... easy. Fun. Like this is where you were always supposed to be. Somehow, it was like the old days again.

"Okay, I’ll admit, senpai." Utahime says after taking a bite of the churro. "This place is pretty fun. I didn’t expect it to be so fun. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you till now.”

You roll your eyes good-naturedly, smiling. "See? I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Especially on the food.”

“Oh, I think it’s the best part!” She grinned at you.

“Right?” 

“Utahime–senpai!” Ieiri Shoko called out on the other side of the park cross, smiling as she held a shopping bag on her shoulder and another in her hands. 

Utahime blushed and smiled widely, waving back as she came rushing to her. “Shoko, you’re here too!”

You blinked, turning to Suguru. “Does she……”

Suguru laughed at your assumption. “I would have thought you would notice it first, senpai.”

Kusakabe chimes in with his usual deadpan humor, his arms still crossed. "I don’t know about you guys, but I was hoping for a more relaxing day. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind."

"Relaxing?" Satoru repeats with a dramatic gasp, as if the very word offends him. "Who needs relaxation when you’ve got theme park rides, food, and Taro here to make everything better?"

Kusakabe sighed heavily. “I can’t believe my day off is going to be spent like this.”

You smiled at him, patting his shoulder. “Don’t mind, Atsuya.”

///

YOU COULDN’T HELP BUT YAWN AS THE PARK GREW DARKER. You can feel the exhaustion seeping into your bones after hours of running around the theme park, riding everything from roller coasters to bumper cars, and indulging in far too many snacks. Your feet are sore, your eyelids are heavy, but there's a sense of contentment that you can’t shake off. Despite the chaos and noise, you’ve enjoyed yourself more than you thought you would.

Utahime, who had been tolerating Satoru’s antics all day, is clearly at her breaking point. She glares at him as he laughs, still carrying around that ridiculous plushie, and mutters something under her breath about "never going anywhere with him again." 

Shoko, ever the voice of reason, is beside her, trying to calm her down, though it’s clear she’s also amused by Utahime’s exasperation. You can think that the supposed crisis was averted when Shoko took her to go shop at more stores with her.

They were holding hands too, which made Utahime feel a little bit more at ease.  Kusakabe had gone off to follow them, when Satoru indulged in more rides. 

Geto Suguru, with his usual composed demeanor, is also enjoying the calm—his serene expression only interrupted by the occasional glance in your direction on his right side, already starting to feel the weariness of the day.

Unlike Gojo Satoru who had a boundless energy in him, you were already too tired to do anything except sit down. You had made your way over there, feeling like your legs might give out at any moment. As you sit down, your exhaustion catches up with you, and you rest your head on the back of the bench for a moment, just to steady yourself.

Without thinking, you lean toward Suguru, resting your head gently on his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel the soft weight of his presence beside you. It’s comforting. Safe. The world around you fades into a blur as your eyes flutter shut, the exhaustion finally pulling you under.

The sound of Satoru’s voice breaks through the haze of sleepiness. "Hey! Where’s everyone gone off to?!" he calls out, his usual loud, boisterous tone cutting through the air. You can hear the faint sound of him approaching, his footsteps getting closer.

Suddenly, you feel Suguru’s shoulder shift slightly, and you crack open one eye, only to see Satoru was standing in front of you, his mischievous smile wide. He’s about to say something when Suguru, with an almost imperceptible shift in his expression, raises a finger to his lips.

"Shh…." he says, in a voice low enough that only Satoru can hear. “Senpai’s falling asleep.”

Satoru blinks, surprised for a moment, before his smile softens and he looks down at you, still leaning against Suguru with your eyes closed. He crosses his arms, tilting his head, clearly trying to contain a grin. "Look at you two. So cute." Satoru comments quietly, his voice teasing yet soft. “Oh? Is senpai drooling?”

“Shhhh….let senpai sleep already.”

Suguru’s dark purple eyes flick up to meet Satoru’s infinite blue, and there’s a brief, silent exchange between the two of them. Suguru doesn’t even need to say anything. Satoru already knows. He looks down at you again, then back at Gojo with a small, barely perceptible nod.

Satoru, never one to back down from a playful moment, smiles even wider, his voice dropping to an almost conspiratorial whisper. He lets his finger trace against the edges of your hair. He smiles. 

"You know, you look really cute when you're asleep like that, senpai." He leans in closer, but not too close, his voice soft enough so you won’t hear him. “Get some sleep.”

Suguru glances up at Satoru once more, his calm demeanor never shifting, and he simply says, "Satoru, please.." His tone is polite, but there’s an edge of finality to it that even Satoru recognizes.

Satoru gives an exaggerated sigh, clearly enjoying this more than he probably should, but he obeys, taking a step back. "Fine, fine." he mutters playfully. "But I swear, if I had a picture of this, I’d have it framed."

You barely hear him, still drifting in and out of sleep. There’s a soft, comforting pressure on your head from where your hair rests against Suguru’s shoulder, and the rhythmic sound of his breathing calms you, making you feel like you don’t need to worry about anything for a while.

You feel a smile tug at your lips, the warmth of their presence wrapping around you like a blanket, and you let yourself drift deeper into the comfort of the moment, surrounded by the quiet affection.

And then it happened.

Satoru looked up as soon as Suguru did.

The soft shift of your sleeping form caught their attention. You stirred slightly against Suguru, instinctively curling in a little tighter, your body seeking warmth as a chill swept through the room.

Suguru’s expression softened, his eyes tracing your movements, but it was Satoru who spoke first, his voice unexpectedly quiet. “It’s snowing.”

The faint glow of the streetlight outside caught the flurry of snowflakes falling from the sky, dusting everything in a soft, peaceful white. The world outside felt miles away from the cozy warmth of your shared space, but the beauty of the moment lingered between them.

Satoru’s usual playful demeanor faded for a moment as he watched you shift again, his gaze softening. It was rare for him to be still, his mind always racing with a thousand thoughts, a thousand plans. But the simplicity of the scene made him pause.

Suguru glanced at the window, then back at you, his lips curling into a knowing smile. “Guess we’re stuck here for a while, huh?”

Satoru chuckled under his breath, but there was a softness to it that didn’t quite match his usual carefree tone. “Doesn’t bother me. It’s nice to just... be here. For once.”

The snowfall outside grew heavier, the world outside becoming a blur of white. The silence between the three of you stretched on, comfortable and warm, until Suguru shifted slightly, careful not to disturb you. He adjusted the blanket, making sure you were tucked in tightly.

“Let’s just stay here for a bit.” Suguru murmured. “No need to rush back into the chaos.”

Satoru nodded, his grin returning as he looked at the falling snow. “Yeah, I think we all could use a little more of this.”

You didn’t wake, lost in the warmth of the moment, the sound of the snowfall outside blending with the quiet of the room. For a moment, everything felt like it could stay this way forever—still, serene, and untouchable. They wanted it to.

The night stretched on, and the snow continued to fall. And in that quiet, the weight of everything outside seemed to fade, leaving just the three of them, comfortable in each other's company, wrapped in warmth, surrounded by the calm embrace of winter.

Everything was great, that last Christmas.

The next year, you thought about these memories.

And just as much, you cried too much about it too.

Because you were alone again, without them to lean on.

But you would never know about it now.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Are You Sure?! - Episode 5 observations

7.5/10 ☆

A couple fights over nothing in front of other people, creating an atmosphere full of tension. There's questions in the back of the audience's mind. What is underneath all that bickering? What lies under that perfect initial façade of a couple who knows everyting about what ticks the other one? They are rude, sometimes loud, sometimes they forget there's other people there. It makes a guest uncomfortable. So much so that the guest would rather leave than spend one more second there.

Is this Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf or Are You Sure?!

The Jeju trip has now ended. On a rather anticlimatic note, but a result of a day in which the need to actually stick to a format of a travel show went directly out the window. Another filler, in which the guest was ready to leave from the moment he woke up (which he did).

Episode 5 did not nothing but merely reinforce what we saw the previous day in terms of relationships dynamics. Which was to be expected. People don't change over night and they weren't put into situations that might allow for other facets to rise to the surface. Once again, Jimin and Jungkook are going about their day as a duo, as a team, as a couple, as bj brothers, you name it. The show had already been establishing that from day 1 of their trips around the world. There's the everpresent "we" and then everyone else surrounding them. From conversations at dinner, to spending time together at night, getting ready to go out or just staying indoors while one of them is taking a nap while the other is cooking nearby. Snapshots of a couple life.

One that bickers because of very stupid and silly reasons, but being together on the joke and knowing each other's boundary. A lot of people can spend years together and still wouldn't care when they cross the line.

I wanted a real fight and instead all I got was nonsense over spam or pink sausages. But I won't dwell too much on it because it's not necessary. Although it did add to the neverending list of Tedros not being able to understand the mood. He takes Jungkook's reaction seriously, he doesn't understand what Jimin is trying to say when he calls himself weaker on the boat (when Jimin did nothing but reveal his strength kink). It simply shows that his humor is not the same. And perhaps current mean spirited voices are a mirror of him, unable to take a step back and realize the nuances and meanings behind what people do and say.

There are now five weeks since AYS began. And somewhere between 5-6h of footage of Jimin and Jungkook which come after a long time of not seeing them together, despite knowing that they are together and have been throughout some major events in the last couple of years, which culminated with their joint enlistment (they might be forced to go, but it was a relief to hear them having a laugh about it in late September).

It is a shame though that the result of this show, which for some of us is a real treat as we finally get to see Jimin and Jungkook outside the specific type of silly BTS content, has also become an opportunity for complete denigration of this pair. In part by their own so-called fans. No one is forced to watch it. If the need to look for clues that reveal imaginary conflict or lack of closeness is the thing that gets them off, I'd rather not see it. Unfortunately, it is inescapable. These are people that do not deserve anything nice.

I'm excited for the final segment of the show and I want to cherish those next three weeks, even though it will all be over then. I hope there's a real return to the intimate component. Which doesn't meant fairytale happiness. It just means a glimpse into the last days of youth and freedom to be together in a way that had then to be put on hold as the harsh reality of forced "military adulthood" came knocking at the door.

[shallowseeker]

Dean’s grief on speedrun

How long was Cas dead, anyway?

I think they reunited around day 18-24 days ish. The scripts give us some clues. (Based on this post)

==Dean is grieving hard==

He’s not in denial, like Sam seems to be -> “Is he really dead?” “You know he is.”

And because Dean now knows Chuck & Amara, he’s not getting stuck in bargaining stage (his usual MO). There is no door of hope to leave ajar after the cosmic consequences are rendered. (Not even the symbolic going-through-the-motions kind that he never intends to open again.)

No, this time, Dean’s in the throes of an incredibly frightening, paralyzing despair (images).

This is partially due to the fact that he saw it coming, and he fought so hard. He resolved to avoid the looming, cosmic consequences, to “not let Cas walk away, not again (script).” Dean made up his mind to act to protect the, “everything he’s ever wanted (script).”

And still, everything went so wrong.

///

The grief, then, is different. It’s a despair born of crushed hopes and dreams. Not to mention, forgiveness and acceptance—as Dean got onboard to help Cas, regardless of his own misgivings, because Cas “had faith in the kid.” This time, he stood behind Cas when he asked, and it still went rotten.

After everyone dies, Dean pleads with God/Chuck. Chuck is the one who brought Cas back before and the only one who seems able to rebuild angels. He doesn’t answer.

Even though Dean had a special connection to Amara, the one who resurrected his burned-up, supposed-to-stay-dead mother, she doesn’t answer either.

This time, he knows they’re out there, perhaps even listening. And they’re not answering because Dean’s run out of free passes and miracles.

This time, that knowledge crushes him where he stands.

///

DAY 1-2 (Lost and Found)

13x01 starts in the twilight hours after the big Lucifer fight.

Dean takes a shot at Jack, and Jack flees.

Heaven and Hell hunt them relentlessly.

They retrieve Jack from North Cove police station.

An angel stabs Jack in the chest with an angel blade, and he seems astonished to be “fine.”

Sam and Dean take time to grieve and scatter ashes.

The funeral occurs that evening, and they quickly get on the road.

///

DAY 3 ish (The Rising Son)

In 13x02, they're still driving home from the funeral towards the bunker, "12 hours till we get home," and Sam convinces Dean to stop at a motel.

Addition: When they eat, Jack remarks that he's 3 days old. "3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes."

Over the course of this episode, per the script, 2 days pass.

They eat dinner, go to a tattoo parlor, meet up with Donatello, and stay overnight in the motel.

Heaven and Hell continue to hunt them relentlessly.

Sam, Dean, and Donatello debate nature vs nurture, with Dean and Donatello leaning towards nature.

Sam psycho-analyzes Dean and delivers euphemisms to Jack about Dean “wanting to protect everyone and getting his wires crossed,” but ultimately, he isn’t forthcoming to Jack about the reality of the situation. (That is, it was Lucifer that killed Cas, and Lucifer who pulled Mary into another world--that Dean's grieving!) These important details might've helped Jack to understand his situation with a lot more clarity and grace. This will cause Jack to cool towards Sam when Dean reveals the truth during an argument.

Demons find them the next morning.

In fact, Dean nearly dies against a common demon, getting cornered on a hotel bed, but he is saved at the last minute by Sam’s interference.

Jack, tricked by Asmodeus, nearly releases the Shadim.

They drive home.

Later, Jack freaks out about being impervious to stabbing. In his new bunker room, he laments, “What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone.”

Dean tells him he will be Jack's executioner if Jack loses control.

At most, it's been only 5 days since everyone died.

///

DAY 5 ish (Patience)

13x03 picks up mere hours after they get home, and it covers 5 days total. So, that brings us to a decently solid total of 10-ish days when this episode finishes.

Dean can't bear to be in the bunker with mission-mode Sam and Jack, so he takes off on a hunt.

Clearly in no shape to hunt, Dean dies at the hands of a wraith (and so does Jody). They are both saved by Patience’s interference.

Dean tells Patience there’s no joy in this life. Only pain and death.

Sam and Dean have a huge fight about Jack, during which Dean accidentally gives Jack context to the situation (re: Cas’s death, Mary’s plight). This causes Jack, already exhausted by Sam’s well-meaning training regimen, to cool towards Sam the next morning.

Cas appears to awaken in The Empty on day 9 or 10.

///

DAY 10-11 ish (The Big Empty)

13x04 SEEMS like the very next morning, because Dean AND Jack are both still chilly towards Sam. The air is described as arctic, with Dean giving Sam a, "don't even try it, motherfucker," face. Jack accuses Sam of wanting to use him as an interdimensional can opener and "being just like Asmodeus," and Sam comes clean about the truth.

Sam pushes them all to go on a case together. Jack says he doesn’t want to go at first. Sam wants Jack to go with them for the express purpose of forcing Dean to be around him and warm up to him, which isn’t fair to Dean or Jack…not really.

This storyline covers the family therapy scene (great analysis), wherein an interesting attempt at therapy is made under dishonest constraints.

Dean, still clearly in no shape to hunt, is easily overtaken by the shifter and nearly dies. He is saved by Jack’s interference.

According to the script, 13x04 occurs over 4 days. Commentary//

That means that Dean thawed to Jack, after our total of a mere 14 days. By the end of this episode, they're on shaky terms, and by the beginning of 13x06, calling out to each other in a friendly manner, "How was the case?"

Jack "puts a dent in Dean's armor," per the script, even before he saves them with his powers. Dean is doing everything he can not to like Jack, and it’s clear from the script that he’s failing.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam to absorb the weight of the hunting burden, because he’s got no hope left.

Cas appears to awaken in a field on day 14. Presumably, his ashes are in the middle of nowhere, and he starts walking.

///

DAY 14-20 ish? (Advanced Thanatology)

Here’s where it gets foggier.

I can't tell exactly when 13x05 picks up with respect to the previous episode, but it seems like only a little bit of time has passed.

I would say a week at most has passed, but possibly as little as a day or two, and the case itself, per the script, covers another 4 days.

However, if Cas awoke in The Empty on day 10, and woke in the field around day 14, I think I favor a shorter timeline here with some of the “days” being overlapping back story from the case itself.

Anyway, Jack has been making his way through Sam's DVDs, "Red Sonja, Beast Master, Beast Master II." Commentary//

Sam does not intuit why Dean is up late at night/early twilight hours, making a PB & J (analysis).

Sam tries to remedy Dean’s overwhelming grief by pushing breakfast beer and strip clubs toward him. Alcohol to numb the pain + sexy stuff as a distraction. Now more than ever, Dean seems to perform those only for Sam’s benefit. (It seems Sam did not pay attention to Mia Vallens's therapy, except as a means to validate his own motives for trying to save Mary. Ouch! Poor Sam!)

Sam is not great with empathy here, bless my neurodivergent man-child. He’s dealing with a loss of his own, of course, and he’s been shown to be an impatient, mission-motivated griever (analysis).

Anyway, he’s completely at sea with Dean’s powerful grief, and he seems tragically unaware of Dean's close calls/being off his game over the course of the last few hunts.

Sam, perhaps understandably, wants Dean to be there for him n’ Jack, as caretaker and comrade, but Dean is too mentally wounded to bear the weight of that expectation. (Btw, I don’t think Sam really “gets” the Cas thing till 15x09 The Trap: Sam’s future is symbolized by Eileen-as-hope (analysis) and Sam realizes Dean’s future is built around Cas-as-foundation.) Dean dies...again//

Dean attempts suicide.

He tells Billie he doesn’t matter.

After he revives, Dean tells Sam, “No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay… And I would take the hit… And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.”

This is an elegant parallel to season 7’s grieving Dean, about his not being able to “shake” what happened with Cas, and admitting, “he doesn’t know why.” (Cas is different. Cas has always been different.) In season 7, he also says, “I’ll do what I can,” in response to Sam telling him to get his head in the game and stay alive. Cas is a core wound in both scenarios.

///

==Death & resurrection==

So, that would bring our guesstimate to Cas reuniting with the boys around 20-24 days. So, at most a little over 3 weeks but possibly closer to 4, especially if the backstory timelines of actual “case days” overlap, like 13x05 potentially does.

I am reasonably certain Cas awakened in the field near day 14. I’d personally put the actual reunion at 18-20 ish days, and certainly not longer than a month. They reunite in early June, I think. Blackberries are a summer fruit, and there are wild blackberries in the field where Cas awakens.

Dean drives to Cas and meets up with him, "in the middle of nowhere," so it seems Cas's grave and subsequent walk to civilization was in quite a remote area.

///

Going back through this, I was pretty astounded how Dean kept dying or nearly dying in those days following Cas’s death. He was definitely in no state to be hunting.

(images from CSN, SPN wiki, fangirlism.com)

[kitashousewife]

you & me

an: i feel like gojo needs a break every now and then!! the chance to relax and i feel like he should get spoiled too!!!

pairings: gojo x fem!reader

warnings: angst from gojo, stress, anxiety, sorcerer au but everyone is happy and alive, alcohol mention and consumption, food mention, suggestive content

-

gojo's head hangs over the back of his desk chair as he lets out a long, exhaustion-filled sigh. he sways back and forth slightly, eyes shut, trying to relax for a few minutes. if he's not teaching, he's somewhere around the world on a mission. if he's not doing either of those, he's lying awake in bed with a drumming heart and a hyperactive mind.

with you by his side, of course.

being the strongest has its perks, for sure. challenges that help him grow and improve, opportunities to see the world, as well as more than enough financial stability. it's quite nice to be at the top.

it's pretty lonely as well.

the demand of it all has begun to take a toll on gojo, both mentally and physically. his bones ache, and his muscles strain more than they have before. just this morning during his training with the second years, he allowed himself to get pinned rather quickly by maki in 30 seconds. his fingers shake no matter how much he eats or drinks. even in his late twenties, gojo feels almost triple that.

the mental effects are a whole other story. at this point, he hasn't slept in almost four days, not that he hasn't tried. gojo's usually sharp mind is exhausted during fights, hyper-focused, and completely used up by the end of the day. and, for the first time in his life, he feels anxious. constantly looking behind himself, checking the school cameras, and even begging to install stricter security on your shared home than you already have.

he exhales, opening his eyes. he just wants a vacation.

"i'm really sorry, but nobody else is available," principal yaga sympathizes over the phone. the end of your pen taps on your notebook while you think.

"nobody from kyoto? what about a team? i know it's important, but satoru is tired and-"

"i know he is," yaga agrees. "but i told you, i can't find anyone else. i'm afraid that this mission needs someone of gojo's caliber. unless a miracle happens, i can't guarantee any time off. i'm sorry, i really am."

you rub your eyes, nodding as you cross off yet another failed idea.

"no worries. thank you for trying though."

you hang up and groan. this is the fifth idea that you've come up with today. valentine's is only a couple away, and you want to plan something special for your boyfriend. he's clearly overworked, yet he never fails to spoil you. it's your turn.

if something could work, of course.

you think for a few more minutes before giving up. you rise from your spot at the kitchen table, shuffling towards the fridge. at least you could make some dinner before he gets home.

"hey sweetheart," gojo's very tired frame comes through the garage door.

dinner will have to wait.

"hi! i'm so happy to see you." you give him a large hug, and notice that he leans into you a bit more than normal. he's already out of his blindfold and uniform jacket, both thrown on the floor near his shoes.

"i'm happier to see you. how about we order pizza or something? don't worry about cooking anything tonight."

you smile. even with his fatigue, he just wants to make you happy.

"whatever you want, 'toru."

the evening feels short. after eating dinner together and watching a couple episodes of a show that neither of you really notices, gojo heads to take a shower. you hope to figure out more of the valentine's festivities before he comes out.

you think about surprising him at work. going there early, setting up some decorations and his favorite treats all nice before he arrives. it's a great plan, except he would notice you were gone.

you consider seeing a movie, maybe even the nice theater that opened up. much to your dismay, every show time is sold out.

you're about to try another theater when your phone rings.

"i'm so sorry for calling this late. do you have a few minutes?" it's yaga again. he only calls you if he can't get ahold of gojo himself. your stomach turns.

"don't apologize. and sure, is everything okay?"

he chuckles. "actually, yes. turns out the kyoto branch wants to handle it. they have a team that i'm fairly confident will be able to get the job done, and then some."

your turning changes to butterflies. "what are you saying?"

the smile in your voice must be evident, as he laughs again.

"i'm saying that you're clear. gojo won't have any missions for at least a couple weeks, so he's all yours."

you jump up and down a couple times. "oh, my gosh. thank you, so much. i can't thank you enough."

"don't mention it. he deserves it."

you end the call, running over to your laptop. you might be able to pull this off.

"what's got you so excited?"

"satoru!"

he grins from behind you. he knows how much you hate when he sneaks up on you.

"really though, everything okay?"

"yeah. everything is perfect."

you shuffle by him towards your shared bedroom. he raises an eyebrow. his lithe frame leans against the wall while you grab pajamas.

"you're hiding something."

"six-eyes tell you that?"

he snorts. "no, i just know you. tell me, pretty girl. what's going on?"

"you'll find out in a couple days!" you peck him on the lips and get into bed. he joins you with a shake of his head. for the first time in a while, gojo gets a few hours of sleep.

if someone was to win the world's most impatient award, it would be gojo satoru. you're happy that today is the day to finally spoil your boyfriend, but a large part of you is happy to be done with his prying.

you complete the finishing touches on your look, finalizing the plan in your head. thanks to some friends, you were able to get a table at one of the nicest restaurants in tokyo. five courses, dessert, everything is perfect. you will finish the night in a hotel, one that overlooks the city and is luxurious in every sense of the word.

"how do i look?"

you look at your reflection and see your boyfriend staring back at you. black glasses rest on the tip of his nose, and white hair falls around his face. he's in a simple black suit, and shiny dress shoes, complete with a pricey-looking watch.

"you look amazing, as usual. are you ready?"

a low whistle sneaks through his lips as you walk by him. blue eyes drag up your figure and gojo can't help himself. he grabs you by the wrist, pulling you into his chest with a coy smile.

"i'm sure we could spare a few minutes," he smiles wide now, keeping one hand on your waist as the other sneaks up to the zipper of your dress. you put a hand on his chest to push him back, and he pouts.

"we do not, 'toru. we need to go or you'll ruin the surprise. you sure you want that?"

he trails behind you with a whine. "i'm okay with the idea of it," he jokes, raising his eyebrows at you, but you shake your head.

"i'm serious, it's time to go!"

gojo's fingers pull at the drivers seat, but you wave him off quickly.

"what! at least let me drive," he pouts once again, and you giggle.

"you don't even know where you're going! it's not a far drive anyway, get in please!"

he gives up, finally letting you spoil him. he would never admit it, but he feels terrible he didn't plan something for valentine's day first. every year he's done something elaborate. trips, jewelry, booking entire restaurants, renting out entire beaches, anything flashy and loud to scream to the world that you're his. he can't help but feel a little down, though. gojo is nothing if not showy, especially when it comes to you.

the drive is relatively short. traffic in the city gives the two of you time to catch up. gojo shares about his students, marveling at their rapid growth and mastery of their own techniques. the way he lights up when sharing stories of their success warms your heart.

this is the gojo that you know. the man who would do anything for those he loves. the man who would drop everything he's doing to go do something absolutely mundane with you. the man who sacrifices everything to make sure everyone important to him is safe.

"we're here," you announce quietly, voice trailing off with the nerves. you pull the car up to the valet, and gojo is quick to leap out of the car as soon as you park. he opens the door for you with a grin, helping you out and sliding his arm around your waist.

"wow baby," he eyes the restaurant. he's never told you, but he's spent about six months on the waitlist for this place. 'how'd you score this?"

"i have my ways," you smirk. if he's impressed now, you can't wait for him to see what's in store.

gojo watches as you whisper with the hostess, quirking a brow as they scurry back quickly. he's even more surprised when what looks like the owner of the restaurant gives you a hug. soon, you motion him over with a big smile. he points at himself, mouthing a cheeky me? to which you roll your eyes.

gojo follows you, holding your hand as the two of you are led throughout the entire restaurant. dozens of couples dine together, laughing and carrying on with looks of love and adoration. it only makes gojo more excited, especially since the two of you are going further and further away from the crowd.

"here we are," your friend motions towards a small round table, adorned with champagne flutes, plates, and a bottle ready on ice. gojo pulls your chair out for you, kissing your cheek before sitting down. what's even better, is that this table is the only one in the room. "the first course should be out in about fifteen minutes or so. until then, enjoy yourselves."

you nod to your friend as they exit, before turning to your lover.

"oh my god baby," gojo looks around the room, eyes sparkling from the light of the candles that surround you. "what, i mean, how?"

your cheeks heat up, and he takes your hand in his.

"i know how busy you've been, how hard you're working, and i wanted to make this special. besides, you're always doing something for others, especially me," you squeeze his hand. "it's time i take care of you for once."

maybe it's the lighting, the way that you look tonight, or the overwhelming feeling of being taken cared of and loved, but gojo can't help but feel emotional. he looks at you, eyes full of adoration, and he laughs to himself.

"i love you. so much. i don't deserve you."

you shake your head at that.

"you deserve everything good, satoru. i mean that, with my whole heart."

he kisses your knuckles. "i love you more, my perfect girl."

he stands up and checks his watch before walking towards you. he knees to your height, kissing you softly on the lips. your lips move with his, gasping when his hand smooths over your thigh and tongue swipes at your lips.

"we have about ten minutes left," he breathes on your lips and your breathing quickens. his other hand moves up your calf, under your dress before sliding up your thigh.

"how about i show you just how much i love you, my angel?"

[severalforraelee]

The Girls Part 11: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Photo credit to si.com

Word count: 3,091

Written by raelee / Posted July 22

Masterlist

Formula 1 Masterlist

The Girls Masterlist

“Good job, Ada,” I compliment as she kicks the ball across the room, we watch as it bounces against the kitchen cabinet. “Nice job, Lucy.”

The blonde girl is the one to kick the ball this time, but it only rolls a few feet away. She huffs, tiny arms crossed over her chest as tears begin to fill her eyes.

“Okay, come here. Can you feel? What emotions can you feel?” I open my arms and she collapses into them, tiny sobs shaking her body as I rub her back comfortingly. “I thought I had at least two months until the terrible twos hit.”

A knock sounds at the door and I rise to my feet, Lucy still clutched in my arms.

“No,” Ada shouts, arms winding around my leg as she drops to her bottom.

“Really? How am I supposed to get to the door, you guys?” I whine. Ada giggles and Lucy sniffles.

I make it to the door in twice the amount of time that it would normally take, swinging it open to reveal Charles on the other side.

“Dada,” Ada hollers, hopping up to reach her hands up towards him.

He grins at her, pulling her up and into his arms as Lucy raises her head at her sister’s words, face lighting up at the sight of the familiar man. She reaches out for him as well and he pulls her into the crook of his other arm, stepping over the threshold into the apartment as I close the door behind him.

“You should really just give me a key to your apartment at this point,” Charles tells me, lightly throwing the two girls on the couch and sending them into a fit of giggles.

“What, you want a drawer, too?” I motion towards his backpack.

“Well, if you’re offering.”

I roll my eyes, throwing a few stray toys into the toy box.

“Why the red eyes, Lucy?” He traces the toddler’s puffy eyes with a frown.

“A little sisterly jealousy,” I explain. After glancing at the clock I add, “And tiredness.”

“Did you stay up after your bedtime just to see me?” Charles questions enthusiastically, tickling the two girls' bellies. They’re full of laughter tonight, because they think that was the funniest thing. “I think it’s time for bed now, then.”

“No,” Ada whines.

“You’re already up past your bedtime-”Lucy erupts into another set of tears, interrupting her dad.

He pauses, glancing at me to see my reaction. I raise my eyebrows at him. He knows what the action says.

If you’re the one responsible for having them stay up even later than they already are, you’re dealing with the bedtime routine and cranky tantrums tomorrow.

But, as always, he cracks.

“Okay, fine, one episode of Bluey wouldn’t hurt.”

~

“One episode of Bluey won’t hurt,” I mock Charles’ words.

He doesn’t respond, reaching forward to place the giraffe pacifier back inside Lucy’s mouth and the penguin pacifier back inside Ada’s mouth to soothe their cries. I can still see him roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye.

I even warned him this morning that we should have a lowkey day because of how late he let them stay up, but once I returned home from class he announced that he placed a reservation at a nearby ball pit so the girls could have a fun activity to do.

Charles checks us in for our reservation once we arrive, and as soon as we place Ada and Lucy in the ball pit, it’s like the tantrums that occurred not even an hour ago never occurred at all.

“Are you going to answer that?” Charles questions after my smart watch buzzes for the third time in a row, altering me to a text.

I already know that it’s Lando. We had that conversation last week in hopes of repairing our relationship, but it’s still a bit tense. I guess it hurts more than I care to admit that my family just cast me aside once I got pregnant, and that Lando remained oblivious to it all this entire time.

Sure, I didn’t tell him at the time, but I think it was noticeable by me missing from photos that they sent of weekly family dinners or texts in the group chat. It’s just difficult to move past the resurgence of bad memories.

“No,” I shake my head, watching as Lucy throws a red ball a foot away from her with a wide grin.

Now it’s Charles' watch that buzzes.

“Are you going to answer that?” I repeat his question.

“No,” he answers. “I want to enjoy this time with my three girls.”

I roll my eyes at his response, but look down to hide my blush.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly because of how late they stayed up, the girls are tired out and fall asleep as soon as we put them in their stroller to head back to my apartment.

“Charles,” I pause on the sidewalk, watching as he pushes the stroller towards a looming apartment building. “What are you doing?”

“I have a friend that lives here,” he answers.

“But the girls are sleeping, we need to get them home before they wake up,” I remind him. They’re not the best sleepers in their stroller.

“It won’t take long, I promise,” he responds. I reluctantly follow him. It’s not like I have much choice, he does have our kids with him.

He smiles at the doorhop as we pass him, then the receptionist behind the front desk as we make our way towards the elevator. Of course he has a friend that lives in this building- it has amenities like a doorhop, receptionist, gym, spa, and pool by the signs plastered in the elevator, along with elegant chandeliers and marble floors.

To put it bluntly, it’s in the rich part of town, the area that Charles is familiar and comfortable with.

I, on the other hand, am completely uncomfortable by this. Although I was raised in a wealthy family, we were never taught to flaunt our wealth in such a public manner, like in the things that we own. We lived in a nice house in rural England and the thing that probably showed our money the most was the fact that Lando was karting.

Besides, family money is something that I haven’t experienced for years. Even before becoming pregnant with the girls and distancing myself from my family, I rarely let my family pay for my things. Of course, I let Lando pay for my tickets to the grand prixs, but that was mainly because I was working for him. And being away from Formula 1 for so many years, I sometimes forget how these guys are so used to a luxurious lifestyle.

The elevator doors open on one of the top floors and he pushes the stroller out and down the hall with confidence. I follow after him closely, not wanting to get caught in the hallway by anyone who might see us.

“Your friend gave you his key?” I question, confused as he presses the fob to the lock.

“Yeah,” he grins back at me, pushing the door open.

He steps inside the apartment and I follow close behind. We enter a small entryway, intricate detailing on the doorway welcoming us into a larger space. There’s an area straight ahead with big glass windows and doors that lead to a balcony, clearly meant for a living area. Between that area and the entryway is an empty space, for what I assume is a dining table. Off to the left is a decent sized kitchen with white cabinets and white marble countertops, a small island in front of stainless steel appliances.

“Did your friend just move in?” I ask, taking note of the obvious lack of furniture.

“Yeah. Why don’t you take a look around?”

“Take a look around your friend’s new apartment?” I raise my eyebrows at him skeptically.

“Yeah,” he shrugs.

I give him another look, trying to understand where this is coming from. Why would I want to look around his friend’s apartment? Of course I want to- it’s always fascinating to see how the other half lives, but why would Charles encourage me to?

I don’t argue with him on it, though, not wanting to start another fight.

I start on the right side of the apartment, finding a nice sized bedroom, full bathroom, and laundry room. Then I head to the left side of the apartment, finding two more nice sized bedrooms and another bathroom.

“It’s nice,” I comment once I rejoin Charles and the girls, looking around the main space of the apartment once again.

“Yeah, you think so?”

“Could do with more color,” I suggest.

“Well, you can add the color.”

I turn back to him in confusion, resting one hand on the handle of the stroller casually. “What do you mean?”

“You’re my friend!”

I pause, staring at him. “What?”

He stutters. “I mean, I bought this flat for you.”

My mouth gapes open a bit in surprise as I gaze at him. “Why did you do that?”

“Your apartment now is so small, and it’s not on the safe side of town,” he explains.

“I like it being so small,” I defend, “It makes it easier to hear and see Ada and Lucy, and I can get to them quickly. And, I don’t know why you and Lando keep saying that, I feel safe where I live.”

“There was just a murder in your neighborhood last week!”

“On the other side of the neighborhood!”

“You’re going to put your ego over the safety of you and our daughters?”

I stare at him in shock. “I’m putting our daughters’ well-being in front of my ego, if anything. Don’t you think I would love to stay in this apartment and show it off?”

Charles can’t help but crack a grin, knowing that’s incredibly unlike me.

“The girls love saying hello to our neighbors every day, they love walking down the street to the park, hell, they love sharing a room, Charles,” I motion to the three bedroom doors.

“And they can share a room here,” he responds.

“Then what is the third- oh.” I stare at him in confusion until my face blanks.

“Why ‘oh?’” He questions.

“Charles, we just talked about this,” I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest before looking off to the side.

“Talked about what?”

“We’re not having another baby.”

It’s quiet- which is understandable, I’m sure it’s hard for him to really get it through his head that I don’t want another baby right now- and it’s not just with him, it’s with anyone. Currently, the girls are more than enough for me to handle.

Although, I do think it’s weird that he is still pushing for another baby since that pregnancy scare caused an argument and more tension between us.

It remains quiet. Too quiet.

I look back over at him, expecting a shattered expression, just to see a smug smirk on his face. My annoyed expression deflates at the look on his face but I quickly put it back on, not wanting him to think he has the upperhand in this scenario.

I feel like I’m missing something.

“What?” I ask him.

“The third bedroom isn’t so that the girls can have separate rooms, or so that we can have another baby. The third bedroom is so that we can all live together. That way we can have separate rooms, so I can be with the girls all of the time while in London and have somewhere to keep my stuff,” he explains.

I feel all the blood in my face drain at his explanation, and embarrassment creeps throughout my body.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I stare out the wall of windows at the bustling London street below, avoiding eye contact with Charles while feeling his gaze on the side of my face. I don’t respond, just wanting to get out of this humiliating situation.

“You want another baby?”

“No,” I whip my head towards him, narrowing my eyes. “You want another baby.”

“You’re the one who just brought it up,” he responds defensively.

“Yeah, because you just bought an apartment with three bedrooms after we had a pregnancy scare,” I roll my eyes.

“You know I’d have another baby whenever you’re ready,” he offers.

I don’t respond, instead rolling the stroller to the front door of the apartment.

“So I contacted a moving company and they can move you in as early as next week, they told me since you have such a small amount of stuff we can be moved in within a day and we can shop for the rest of the furniture together,” he says, following after me.

My feet stop in the hallway, causing Charles to almost run into my back. I turn around slowly to face him.

“What?”

“What about that did you not understand?” He wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“What about what I said did you not understand?”

“Oh, I understood you alright,” he smirks at me.

I take a deep breath, fighting back the eyeroll. “I’m not moving into this apartment, Charles.”

“Why not?”

“Do we need to go through this again?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Clearly we do.”

“The girls are happy where they are now,” I assert.

“The girls are not even two years old, they don’t even know where they are half of the time.

“Charles,” I stare at him in disbelief.

“What?”

“You’re not even with them half of the time, how would you know that?”

I know that it’s a low blow, but my blood is boiling. I understand that he’s not here because of his job, one that he’s really passionate about, but it feels like when Charles wants something, he does whatever he wants to make it possible.

It used to be a character trait that I really admired about him. I loved watching him overtake on the track and advocate for certain strategies with his team, admiring all of the passion that he puts into everything he does.

But when you have kids, that personality trait has to be thrown out the window.

It’s no longer about what you want and what you think is best- it’s what’s best for the kids. And I know my kids, and although someday I’d like to move into a bigger place, while I’m in school and working and the girls are still young, it’s best to stay where we are.

“I could be with them more if we moved into this apartment,” he waves his arm, as if to make his point.

I can’t hide my eyeroll this time, turning around to push the stroller back to the elevator.

“No response?” Smugness sneaks into his tone.

“It’s not even worth a response,” I tell him, pressing the button to go down. “Tell your realtor that you changed your mind.”

“After hiding the existence of my daughters for almost two years, you can’t do this one thing for me?”

My feet whip me around to face him before I can control my movements, and I begin to speak before I can stop myself. “Are you serious?”

His jaw drops open, as if he can’t believe he said those words himself.

“We had this whole conversation before, Charles, and I thought we figured out how to get over it. And, you’re not going to try to guilt me into doing something that I don’t think is the best option for our daughters, that’s not how cooperating between us is going to work,” I protest. “I will put our daughters' well-being in front of your emotions, and my own, time and time again because that’s what you do as a parent. And I’ll do everything that I can to get along with you because of them as well, as difficult as that may be.”

I step inside the elevator, pulling the stroller with me. Charles just stands in the hallway, staring back at me with a blank expression.

“Are you coming? I need to press the button.”

~

Ada and Lucy begin to squeal at the familiar sight of Ms. Berry, the elderly neighbor who always gives them lollipops whenever she sees them.

“Oh, you sweet darlings, it’s been too long since I last saw you,” the woman coos, pulling a strawberry flavored lollipop and cotton candy flavored lollipop out of her purse. Like clockwork, Ada reaches for the strawberry one and Lucy reaches for the cotton candy one.

“And who is this young man?” Ms. Berry smiles at Charles who stands holding Lucy’s hand.

“This is Charles, the girls’ dad,” I inform her.

“I hope that means that I’ll be seeing a lot more of you.”

“Say thank you to Ms. Berry,” I instruct the girls, who say the words around a mouthful of sucker.

“Anytime, girls. You’re the highlight of my week.” “Who was that woman that we ran into in the hallway earlier?” Charles asks later at dinner.

“Oh, Ms. Berry?” I reach over to wipe the ketchup off of Ada’s face. “She lives a couple doors down. She loves to see Ada and Lucy.”

“I’ve just never seen her before.”

“It’s because you’re usually gone on the weekend when she returns from her daughter’s house in the country. She stays there during the week to take care of her grandchildren, that’s why she loves the girls so much.”

Charles is quiet after that.

I know that he’s thinking about the apartment that he bought for us to share without my permission. It’s been a couple of days since we visited and fought about it. From the way his gaze lingers on me and flits around the apartment, I can tell that he wants to apologize for making such a rash decision without me and expecting me to go along with it, then guilting me when I refused.

But for some reason, he refuses to apologize.

Whether it’s pride, still partially believing that he’s correct, or something else, I don’t know.

All I know is that I’m sick of fighting with him.

Despite the fact that we fight about literally everything, I’m ready to move on and get along with him for the sake of our daughters. But it seems like everytime we take a step forward, we take two steps back.

And I’m just wondering how much of this back and forth we can both take.

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[ninchen1909]

Jealousy I

 Hey,

this ist he first time I’m wirting for Erling Haaland or any football player, so here goes nothing. Also English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for possible mistakes.

Have a great day!

 Pairing: Erling Haaland x reader

Warnings: Cursing, accused cheating

Word Count: ~1.400

  Angrily, you slam the front door behind you and look at your boyfriend's broadly built back in front of you.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"What do you mean? I don't have a problem."

Nonchalantly, he shrugs before making his way to the kitchen, leaving you standing in the hallway. Stunned, you throw your hands in the air before following him with quick steps. The evening actually started out quite nicely, you were out to dinner with Erling and a few of his former teammates from Borussia Dortmund, all of you were having a good time, laughing, talking, joking. Just spending quality time with people close to you. But the further the evening progressed, the more dismissive Erling became and on the drive home he literally nipped every attempt of yours to start a conversation in the bud.

To each of your questions, he only answers with a curt "I don’t know.”

Every time you try to touch him, he moves his body further away from you and dedicates his attention to someone else.

  When you arrive in the kitchen, you watch as your giant of a boyfriend grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and lets the door slam shut loudly shortly after.

"Oh so you don't have a problem! Then why aren't you talking to me? I mean you're not even really looking at me."

"I am talking to you"

Erling takes a big gulp from his water bottle while looking at you demonstratively. An annoyed sigh escapes you.

"Yes passive-aggressive."

He just rolls his eyes at you comment.

"Just leave it alone, (y/n).

With these words he pushes past you, a few seconds later you can already hear the voices from the television. Anger and despair rise in you, as you take in his behavior.  Again and again you go over the events of the evening, hoping to find anything that could explain the way he’s acting now, but you can't think of anything that could be the trigger for his sudden change of heart. Angrily, you enter the living room and build yourself up in front of the TV screen, trying to get your his attention at all.

The latter lies on the couch and watches you with raised eyebrows.

"Erling, tell me what the hell is going on now. What did I do to make you so dismissive of me now?"

Your arms cross in front of your chest and you look at your lover with a pleading look. You really didn't think the evening would end like this. Erling straightens up on the sofa and gets himself into a sitting position.

"(y/n)...for the last time it's nothing."

"Are all Norwegians this stubborn or are you the exception? Tell me what the hell is going on now, because there is something going on, that’s for sure. But I can't change anything if I don't know why you're in such a mood..."

Slowly but surely, anger leaves you and despair takes over. You just want to put the argument behind you and then snuggle up on the sofa with your usually gentle and accommodating boyfriend, while watching an episode of your new favourite show. With slow steps you walk up to him and taking a sit next to his massive form.  You reach over to him, only to connect your hand with his, tenderly letting your thumb slide across the back of his hand.

"So please be honest with me, we need to talk about it and not just keep silent."

For a few seconds, he just looks you in the face, his otherwise warm blue eyes, now look at you with a harshness and coldness that you have never seen before in them.

"It's really sad that I really have to tell you the reason."

With a jerk, he withdraws his hand from you and puts as much distance as possible between you. He must have read the aberration about his words in your face, for a contemptuous snort leaves your lips.

"Oh come on (y/n), don't act stupid now. You know, other women at least have the decency not to flirt with other guys in front of their boyfriend, but you don't seem to care. But it seemed like Jude enjoyed it too..."

Stunned, you interrupt him.

"I have what now?"

"Oh come on, everyone saw you and Jude flirting with each other."

"Ok, now you seem to be completely crazy Haaland. I talked to Jude because I happen to think he's really nice and funny. I certainly didn't flirt with him, why should I flirt with other men at all, I have you?!"

Apparently uninterested, he shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe one man isn't enough for you, I don’t know."

His words hit you hard and the tears you've been trying to hold back all this time start to make their way down your cheeks. Whether out of anger at him or out of sadness because of his accusation, you can't really tell yourself. As calmly as you can, you get up from the coach before looking him dead  in the eye. When he notices your tears, the tenderness you usually know from him returns in his eyes, but you don’t care about that in the moment. The pain over his words is far too deep.

"You're an asshole Haaland, do you know that? When in our entire relationship have I ever made you feel like you couldn't trust me, huh? All the time..."

You notice how he wants to say something, but you prevent him from doing so.

"Let me fucking speak first."

Suddenly, he closes his mouth and sinks back a little further into the sofa cushions, you acknowledge that he now regrets his words. But you can't tolerate him thinking about you like that, at that moment you just can't and won't give in.

"All the time when you're away, whether it's because of  Champions League, away games or training camps. I was always at home waiting for you. I supported you at every game, whether in the stadium or at home in front of the TV. I left my life at home just so I could move to England with you. And now you're sitting here accusing me of having an affair with one of your best friends just because I get along well with him? You are truly incredible."

"(y/n).. Baby.. I’m sor..."

"Don't say you're sorry, the accusation against me really hurts and I really don't want to hear an apology from you right now."

The air in the room is oppressive and you have the feeling that you can't get enough air for a short moment.

"I need some fresh air..."

You quickly grab your shoes and jacket to put them on, heavy footsteps approach the hallway you are in.

"Babe please stay here, it's already dark, if you need distance I understand that, I'll go, but please stay in the house."

You shake your head abruptly.

"No, I need some fresh air, it's all too much for me right now, I have my phone with me. I love you, but right now I need some distance."

No matter how angry you are with him at the moment, at the very beginning of your relationship, you have made the agreement that you will never leave the house without these words, simply because you never know when you would hear it last.

"Darling, please..."

A sharp look from your side makes him fall silent instantly, he knows it's better not to interrupt you in your current mood. Which is why he admits defeat with a slight nod. You open the front door and let the cold air enter the entrance area of your house.

"Please stay close to the house and leave your cell on, please."

A quick nod is your only answer and just as you close the door you hear a soft, sad

"I love you, please be…" from Erling, but the last part of his words is already drowned out by the slamming door.

Lost in thought, you stroll along the well-lit sidewalks around your house. Again and again, the headlights of the passing cars dazzle you, which is why you stubbornly keep your gaze directed towards the ground. You stop in front of a zebra crossing and wait for the traffic light to symbolize that you can cross the street. 

After what feels like an eternity, you can cross the road, with a deep sigh you start to walk again. You are about halfway across the road, as the loud sound of a roaring engine enters your ears. Frightened, you raise your head to see, what the noise is all about, only to see two bright headlights moving towards you at you in a fast speed. Shortly thereafter, everything around you turns black and a soundless silence embraces you.

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E4 Recap and Reaction

- Poor Crosshair keeps getting stuck on cold planets.

- Batcher banging on the chair ready to get out 🤣🤣

- These shuttles are really interesting to me. It’s rare to see a ship that size that can be piloted by two different people.

- Baby girl, I totally understand your logic in wanting to pull the data logs to see where Tantiss actually is, but given how tactful we know Hemlock has been so far in keeping his location hidden, most likely it wouldn’t pull up anything.

- What a dreary spaceport. Feels very Andor and very like Norwegian Star Wars.

- The level of snark that Omega is giving back to Crosshair is cracking me up. We don’t see her showing this level of talking back or being sarcastic with any of the other Batchers, which proves my theory that Crosshair’s constant level of highly annoyed at everything around him brings out the sarcasm in everyone else he encounters.

- Love that his knowledge as a former imperial is coming to play to help them.

- Also love that Omega was the one to recognize that they need different clothes (and the obvious pan of the camera on the clothes hanging on the line in the first shot of the spaceport to accentuate that fact).

- Quilted clothes in Star Wars is my fave (yes more Andor parallels).

- The uplilt and little scoff that Omega gives and the look she gives Batcher after Crosshair snarls about bringing “the hound” along is PRECIOUS

- Also Cross and Omega cross their arms the same way. Okay okay I’ll never be over their dynamic here.

- Crosshair’s trucker hat/scuba apparatus is hilarious. He doesn’t look too bad though. Surely he’s at least warmer now.

- The credits negotiation omg. I love how Cross is just waiting for this to play out before he makes a move.

- YES omg are my baby girls strategy skills FINALLY coming back into play??

- Oh no no no no no this kid is going to rat them out isn’t he. You guys need to be more mindful of your surroundings!! Ahhh (okay I’m glad this didn’t happen).

- Honestly at this point Crosshair would be me as well. Just lots of very annoyed sighing.

- I love that Crosshair is getting to see all the things about Omega that the other boys know already, but he hasn’t had a chance to witness yet. We know she can wipe the floor with most people on strategy games/gambling.

- Yep nope this captain is not good news. Don’t get distracted by ranting about Imperial bribery, don’t do it, don’t….*sigh* I hate the Empire so much.

- Oh no this is so bad! I swear WHY is every imperial such a slimy self aggrandizing POS.

- Aww Crossy hunched down at almost table level ready to tear the room apart if anyone touches his baby sister. Adorable murder kitten. 😸

- Also Crosshair when all of this is over: where the HELL did you learn to gamble like that!?! Omega: 🤷🏻‍♀️😇😁

- Also also what game are they playing? Those cards are beautiful.

- Oh no they’ve found the shuttle already. Dear god this episode is so stressful!!

- CROSS!DAD IS OFFICIALLY CANON lmao

- Okay I was hoping Omega would let him win bc this isn’t going to go over well

- Whoa I didn’t actually expect him to concede. Maybe he’s not quite as slimy as I thought. Doesn’t matter though, the shuttle will give them away regardless.

- Of course. There it is. Let all the seedy businesses thrive as long as you get your fine out of it. Ugh. This is paralleling a lot of imperial activities in Rebel Rising and the Ahsoka novel as well.

- I also love how Omega uses touch with Crosshair to calm him down and communicate with him.

- Whoa I did not expect Omega to throw the credits and basically give Crosshair the choice of abandoning her or not. Nor for him to actually have to think about it for a moment.

- “My skills are being wasted” the boy does not like feeling helpless. I understand.

- This is going to give Cross some understanding of what Hunter has been going through the last few years. Especially if he ends up losing her.

- “Don’t push it” and the extra head shake after lmao.

- Geez this man is just lining his pockets every which way isn’t he. Despicable.

- “Alright, let’s try things your way” “Finally” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- Animal stampede!

- Oh gosh is Cross going to get left behind??

- Aw he finally called her Batcher.

- We are clearly seeing how much Omega has actually been tempered by the rest of the Batchers being around her until now. The unfiltered combined powers of Omega and Crosshair at their most unhinged is maybe more than the galaxy is ready for 🤣🤣

- Also a very Andor reference with the captain being stampeded almost to death and having his gun kicked away from him in the melee

- NO WAY WE FINALLY GET AN IMPERIAL GETTING THEIR DUE BY CREATURE DEATH once again *cough cough* not a kids show

- Awwww Batcher licking Crosshair’s face. He’s so done for.

- They got away. Wow. I actually wasn’t expecting that. And with most of the money too.

- Okay. Smart girl. She did not pick Pabu.

- What an ending. Wow. So. Similar to Mando season 3 (which is also scaring me) — what the heck is the rest of this season going to be about?

- This reunion is everything. 🥹🥹🥹 the hugs. The running. The tears. The worry. The anger. The hesitation. The fear. The literal and metaphorical distance between their ships that someone will have to cross. They better not fast forward a millisecond when the next episode picks up I swear.

[spectrechosts]

If Anything Could Ever Be This Good Again - Chapter 5

The Shining Rangers are splintered, and a new team rises from the ashes.

Full Series

Tara dropped a handful of gems into a big cardboard box with a satisfying clink.

"Okay," She said, "That's Canary, Flamingo, Peacock, and Tangerine."

"Huh. Lotta birds in that batch." Said Phoebe, crossing them out on a checklist and looking over a wall of plans. "That rounds out the yellows and pinks."

"And blues."

"What? There should be one more blue besides Azure."

"…You, babe. You're the last one."

"Oh. Right. Then all we're missing is three reds, one more orange, two purples, two greens, and Azure herself." Phoebe said, capping a marker.

"Any leads?" Tara asked, handing her a cup of coffee.

"Nope." Phoebe said, taking the cup in both hands and sipping from it. "Azure hasn't been seen in almost two weeks, HQ is abandoned, Rangers aside from that group you just got have been operating independently if at all."

Tara wrapped her arms around her and rested her chin on her head.

"You know, I don't think I could ever have done this without you."

"My girl says she wants the Shining Rangers destroyed, the Shining Rangers get destroyed."

"How chivalrous. But I mean it, I was just lashing out before I had you on my side and now- Now you have plans, you're like calculating and methodical and-"

"Cold?" Phoebe asked, smiling.

"I wasn't going to say it. Now it's like, we're actually going to do this. And once they're gone we're gonna have like, a better magical girl team. One that tries to fix problems instead of just being cops."

"I'm still not entirely sure how we're going to get that team made. We'll need someone else to get it started, our identities aren't exactly secret. And I think you could have figured out 'stealing their gems so they can't come back later' eventually."

"Mm, I have my moments of brilliance." Tara said. "But while we're on that part of your planning, what uh, what are we doing with them? Because the box is pretty heavy now and I don't know if it's great to just, have a bunch of dubious magical power sources under our bed."

"Hmm. I wanted to save the next step until we had them all, but the stragglers could take a while to round up, and someone could just come take them all back. Maybe we should just deal with the box now and any other gems we pick up we'll figure out as we get them.

"Sounds good to me."

"Ehhhhhhhh yeah fuck it, let's do this."

"Cool. What's the plan?"

~

"This is the plan?" Tara said, shivering in the winter night air of the construction site they had snuck into.

"It's the best I could think of." Phoebe said. "I don't want to risk destroying them, and I don't want anyone finding them."

"So we're just… dumping them in a big hole?"

"Not any big hole. We're dumping them where they're about to lay the foundation for a skyscraper. I saw it in an episode of Columbo, they're gonna be under tonnes of concrete that nobody can dig up without permits."

"Did Columbo dig it up?"

"Well- yes, but he's Columbo. Nobody's gonna dig these up. They have no reason to even think anything is down there."

"Okay, so let's dump 'em"

"Well, hang on." Phoebe said. "We should… Say something? This is a big deal, this is like, the end. We do this and there's no chance of the Shining Rangers ever recovering."

"Okay, um... you go first."

Phoebe thought for a moment. "The Shining Rangers were a bunch of psuedo-cop mean girls, and this city will be better off without them. I don't know where these gems came from, and I guess I never will, but I know that they're more trouble than they're worth. I blame them entirely for all the harm I caused to innocent people after mine broke, and I think that no matter how many villains there are we'll all be safer with them entombed in this pit."

Tara nodded.

"That was nice." She said. "The Shining Rangers suck ass, these gems suck ass, I hope Azure shows up so I can drag her to Venus and leave her there."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Yup. Fuck alllllllllllll of this."

"Okay. Dump it."

Tara upturned the box into the pit, dozens of gemstones disappearing into the depths.

"Hm. Feels anticlimactic."

Phoebe shrugged.

"Azure's still out there, we don't know what she's up to." She said. "I'm gonna find someplace to hide out until this gets filled in, make absolutely sure. You can go wait at home."

"I'll stay, we can wait together." Tara said, stuffing her hands into her pockets for warmth.

"Tara, I'm going to be cold either way. You can go get warm."

"I'll live, babygirl. C'mon."

~

15 months later

"You're not listening to me, I'm telling you that those two are known supervillains!"

"Okay, miss Azure, I don't know who you think Guardians Synth-Metal and Coldwave are-"

"Look at the photos!"

"I'm looking, they don't look that similar in my opinion. Now I know you don't want to hear it but-"

"They look the SAME!"

"-But, the Shining Rangers are no longer recognized by the International Magical Girl Association as the protective force of this municipality-"

"But those two are-"

"Miss, those two saved several busses full of children from a volcano that appeared under their school yesterday morning. Even if I did believe you, which I don't, why would I want to stop them?"

"I- But- But they're villains!" Azure whined.

"And if they do anything villainous, we'll take care of it. Until then, this is Musical Guardian turf and we don't appreciate you harassing our members."

"But-"

"Grindcore, please get her out of here."

"Wh- Jet? Jet you know me! You know I'm right!" She protested, as Musical Guardian Grindcore escorted her from the building. "This isn't over!"

All was quiet at the Musical Guardian front desk, and then once they were sure she was gone Phoebe and Tara poked their heads out from a doorway.

"Thanks for getting rid of her, Hyperpop." Phoebe said.

"No problem." Said Hyperpop. "You guys off to try and talk to the Mushroom Monarch again?"

"Regrettably yes." Tara sighed. "She should've sprouted up a few hours ago, she'll be making her move anytime now."

"I have pamphlets on the environmental benefits of fungal composting at the municipal level!" Phoebe said, eyes sparkling. "This time she'll listen."

"Mm. I see why Azure is so afraid of you two." Hyperpop said, scrolling on her phone.

"I still don't get why we don't deal with her ourselves." Complained Tara.

"Because we're already in an incredibly precarious legal position." Said Phoebe. "Killing people who annoy us undercuts our whole 'nonviolent criminal reform' thing."

"But baaaabe. Just think about it: Venus."

[imagionationstation]

“A China Town Ghoststory” Rewrite

(I deleted this post and the two others associated with it from my account because it continually made me anxious to look at, after all the negativity that came with, and my mental health tends to stay my top priority.)

Summary of my thoughts on this ep is here.

I asked if you guys thought I should rewrite the part directly after Casey launches the pizza, and 4% is a pretty low no-count, so I found the time, and I went for it!

Note: This is not necessarily how the episode should have gone, as much as it is something that I would have liked to see. Enjoy!

Casey fires.

Three pairs of glowing eye dart after the pizzas and Donnie allows himself to release the breath clogging his lungs, trying to get his pounding heart to stop its assault on his ribs. He desperately hopes they'll dive after the pizzas the same way that they would after a long patrol, and stay distracted with them long enough for him and Casey to make their way to Ho Chan. 

Too many factors could go wrong with this plan, but it's honestly the best they got. 

He can't take his brothers. They're fighting to kill. 

They don't mean to, he knows they don't; they'd never-

Donnie swallows thickly. They'd never. And he knows he can't.

A dense thump and then footfall behind him. Donnie's barely conscious of the fact that Casey must have left his place at the manhole canon, more focused on the way that Leo's gaze shoots to them, the flickering glow covering his eyes brightening as blue sparks travel down his arms. 

The muscles are taunt, telling Donnie exactly what's coming next, and his heart skips a beat as he realizes that their shell-less human ally can't take the same beating that he can.

Electricity crackles in the air and goosebumps rise on Donnie's arms as he makes his choice, ignoring the way Mikey and Raph look up from where they'd been wrestling next to the pizzas. He rocks to his feet and breaks into a rapid stride, acting as if he's making a wild dash for the warehouse hiding Ho Chan and his captives. 

Leo jerks towards him, and he launches the power at Donnie.

It's an easy dodge since Leo doesn't have time to properly aim the strike, but Donnie doesn't see Raph's follow-up coming, barely avoiding a blow to the brain before a gust of wind knocks him into the wall on his left. He cries out when his shoulder slams the bricks, the shock loosening his grip on his staff. 

Mikey's wind knocks him in the plastron and he stumbles back, stopped mid-lunge when a lightning bolt crosses the area between them. A few of the bricks slip free, clouds of yellow catching them and then slamming them into his plastron and arms. He's thrown off his feet, carapace scratching the concrete when he skids.

"Donnie!"

Mikey's head jerks to Casey's cry, lifting a hand in the direction of his voice. Donnie doesn't see what he does, scrambling back as his older brothers leer over him, eyes glowing the ominous blue as electricity crackles and the sky booms. 

"Guys?" 

It's no more than a whisper with the obvious choas around him, but Donnie still can't quite believe this is happening. It's like a messed-up stress dream, and he wishes desperately to wake up from it, but if pinching would have woken him up, being tossed from a tornado definitely should have.

He can barely breathe, background blurring around the edges as his vision trains on the older brothers prepared to finish the job, and he leans on the only means of defense that he has left. 

Running his mouth.

"Leo- Raph- wait- WAIT! It's me! Guys, you don't want to do this!"

The thunder shifts into a makeshift bolder of booming yellow and Leo glows his signature blue with the collected energy. 

"It's Donnie! Donatello! Please, you don't want to do this! Ho Chan and his ancient arts- they're controlling you-"

Mikey returns, threatening winds blowing around him and bouncing mask tails. Donnie knows he's cowering, unable to get up with the weight of horror and defeat weighing him down. He can't even take them during a friendly spar. There's no way he can defend himself when they have super powers!

He's going to die.

"Guys, please, it's me! Donnie! Your brother!"

Their bodies tense, arms swinging to strike.

He's going to die!

Donnie drops on his side, instinctively curling into the fetal position.

He's going to DIE!

Trembling hands uselessly wrap around his skull.

He's going to-

THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM- 

"NO!"

He doesn't get any further, choking on the horror that's corrupting every nerve on his body, unable to accept this fate. He expects the blows to land at any second, shaking as if the air around him lacks any warmth, but the pain never comes. It takes a few minutes for this to fully sink in, and then trembling hands lower from the pale face as he raises his eyes.

His brothers are still next to him, exactly where they last were, but their choas has disappeared, arms slack at their sides. The glowing blue under the hats is faint, flickering as they stare down with blank expressions, and then Mikey moves. 

Donnie flinches as he drops beside him, and his little brother's voice is nothing like his own as he mutters, "Dee?"

The terror rushes away in a wave, and Donnie might have burst into tears if that wouldn't make him look more pathetic than he already does. "Mikey?"

A moment of silence and then Mikey whirls around to bark, "What the heck, dudes!"

Leo and Raph snap to life, both incredulous, "Us?"

"Yes, you!" Mikey gestures to the turtle coming down from an adrenaline high, shivering as round eyes dart between them. "Look what you did!" 

"Woah, woah, woah!" Raph defends in his garbled voice. "That was all Leo!"

Leo rears back furiously, "Says the guy throwing bricks!"

"They barely touched him! 'Sides, Mikey messed up his shoulder!" 

"Did not!"

Donnie unconsciously lifts a hand to brush against his shoulder, mutely glancing down as he realizes that it's bruising. He blinks once, looking between his brothers as he tries to process the unexpected change. He doesn't want to pull more attention to himself, but he can't help the weak correction. "It was more of a... Team effort?" 

All three faintly blue gazes turn to him, and then Leo's hands spark, trails of light moving up his arms. His voice is almost monotone, the flickering blue strengthening. "You only brought it upon yourself by coming back."

Donnie shrinks away and Mikey snaps, "See! He's scared of you!"

A theatrical gasp, and the fury returns. "Is not!"

"Oh, he so is, bro!" 

"Don't make me blast you-" 

"Like you scare me!"

"OH YEAH?!"

"YEAH!" 

Donnie yelps when a hand grabs his arm and hauls him to his feet, and this interrupts the war about to break out between the eldest and youngest. They snarl at Raph as he drags Donnie back, snapping, "Both you shell-heads are scarin' him!"

Donnie's face goes red. "I'm not-!"

The wind picks up. "Hey! Give him back!"

Thunder sounds in the distance. "Why!? So you can slam him into more walls?!" 

Electricity crackles. "Like you're any better!"

If Raph has a response to that, it's interrupted when Mikey shoots a blast of wind that forces him to release Donnie's arm, curling his hand into a fist and pulling it to his chest. A brush of wind shoves the startled genius to his younger brother, but Leo intercepts, pushing him to the side and firing at Mikey, only for the youngest to duck-and-roll out of the way. 

Just as Raph predicted, Donnie hits the wall for the second time that evening, and spins to keep an eye on his mentally unstable brothers. Leo stands in front of of him, electricity coming off his being in waves, and their brothers look ready to pounce. "You can't be trusted with him!" 

"What?!" Raph all but screeches. "We were just following your lead!" 

"Don't you pin this on me!"

"It's the truth, ain't it!?"

Leo growls like a feral predator, and Donnie presses himself to the wall before the flaring bolts can touch him. He cautiously extends a foot to the side, scooting away from his volatile siblings, because he doesn't trust himself to walk away unscathed under any of their respective 'protection'. 

The spell obviously makes them aggressive, willing to attack anyone or anything for any reason at any time. As jarring as it is to watch them go from aggressive to possessive, it's possible they just latch onto the first excuse for battle that they find.

In this case, it's Mikey's accusation. 

As dumb as the argument clearly is, he doesn't... hate it.

His eyes dart between his brothers as their faces come into better view, and he thinks he can see pieces of them underneath the spell. The way Raph's jaw locks when he knows he's not going to win. The way Leo unconsciously slips into a protective stance- evidently still under the belief that there is a turtle behind him. How Mikey's hands flail as he argues, never quite able to stay still.

They- They are his brothers. They know who he is. And they're upset at one another for hurting him, even if the spell won't let them understand why, or how close they came to-

To…

His shoulder slump in relief. 

But they didn't, because as long as even a scrap of his brothers have control, they would never let that happen. Not to each other, and not to him. Those mindless warriors were not his brothers. These guys...

Raph dashes forward, using his thunder to deflect Leo's lightning, and tackling him to the ground with a guttural growl. Mikey is quick to follow, and Donnie watches in a deadpan as they tussle on the ground, rolling and shoving as the main object of their squabble is entirely forgotten. 

…These guys are definitely his brothers.

"Don?"

Donnie's gaze shoots to Casey, and finds their human friend leaning against the Shellraiser, one hand cupping his side and the other tightly gripping his hockey stick. Before Donnie has a chance to process the worry about the state of his ribs, he realizes that the cries of battle have stopped. 

He looks up and spots the warriors hovering in the air, switching back into guard-dog mode now that a perceived danger is close to the warehouse. Donnie doesn't think that Casey will be able to reach them in the same way that he can, and he realizes that he has to draw attention away from him. 

So, Donnie does something that he'd be loathe to do on any other occasion. 

He plays the part of the weak, injured, and vulnerable sibling. 

With a decent amount of flair, he crumbles to his knees and grabs at his shoulder, making eye contact with Casey while angling his head away from his brothers. The human had taken a step forward, something that could be mistaken as concern visible, and Donnie gives his head a quick, pointed shake to warn him to stay away.

"Ow...!" He whines, goosebumps rising as he senses three pairs of eyes turn towards him. "Ow-ow-ow- that really hurts-!" 

Maybe it's not an Oscar-worthy performance, but it does the trick. 

Leo is predictably the first to land at his side, examining his arm as Raph lands as a wall between them and Casey, with Mikey still hovering, slanted towards the human lest he make any threatening moves for them or the warehouse.

"I told you!" Leo snaps as Donnie continues his act of agony, pulling his arm away from the eldest before he realizes that it's perfectly fine. "You hurt him!" 

Wind picks up. "He was fine a minute ago!"

Donnie winces when an electric spark zaps him. "You can't be trusted with him!"

"Yeah, sure!" Thunder booms. "We're the problem here!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Donnie scoots away from his sparking brother and realizes that Mikey's eyes are brighter blue than their brothers', suspicion written into his sneer as he takes in how close Donnie's gotten to the warehouse. 

Donnie swallows. Whoops.

Need a distraction to distract from him too.

"You know what would make me feel better?" He asks nervously, praying they don’t notice how shrill his voice has become. "Pizza! Yep, definitely pizza!”

Mikey's eyes flicker. "Pizza?"

Donnie nods weakly. Leo and Raph look at him, at each other, to the pizzas on the ground, and then back to each other. 

"I got it!"

They both take off, and Mikey, who is not about to be left behind when there's pizza involved, immediately tears away from Donnie to charge after them. 

"Phew. Close one." Donnie mutters as he gets to his feet, watching his brother go nuts over one pizza when there are very clearly three pies to share. He makes his way over to his discarded staff as Casey hurries to his side, shooting the human teen a side-glance when he hisses, "What the heck was that?"

"Nothing." Donnie dismisses, ignoring the embarrassment swirling in his gut. "You good?" 

Casey pats his side and then puffs out his chest, "Mikey threw me around a bit, but Casey Jones still came out on top."

"Great." Donnie resists the urge to whack him over the head with his staff. "So I get the privilege to beat you for that last minute change of plans you tried to pull." 

"Aw, come on." Casey scowls. "Give a guy some credit! My plan totally would have worked if you hadn’t-"

Donnie swats the complaint away. "Let's just focus on rescuing April." 

"Whatever."

Casey takes off for the building. With one last glance as his super-powered brothers to make sure they're faced away, Donnie spins the staff in one hand, feeling some of his buzzing nerves settle. "I'll be right back, guys." 

 Then he sprints after their human ally, hoping they aren't too late. 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Hi. I found interesting site: Teases 'Six of Crows' Spin-Off and Season 3 Villain.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.newsweek.com/shadow-bone-six-crows-spin-off-season-3-villain-plans-eric-heisserer-1787601%3Famp%3D1&ved=2ahUKEwju8fDI8-r9AhVIhP0HHUh2DgoQtwJ6BAgJEAE&usg=AOvVaw2hnxBMmgP-arXDlTZvkqFI

(Book Spoilers)

This was an interesting read. There's some parts in particular that caught my attention. Eric talks about the potential of getting a six of crows spin off and I really do think his reasons for wanting a spin off are good ones.

"If we're able to get our way, because there are a lot of mouths to feed, the best course of action is to allow us to do Six of Crows as a standalone season and really spend time with those characters," Heisserer said. "And then Season 3 of the mothership allows us to spend a good amount of time with all of our Ravkan contingent."

One thing I do think the show has struggled with is fitting both the crows and the ravkan storylines into 8 episode long seasons. Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed both seasons so far and I like seeing these characters cross over and interact with each other. But I think now that they've established these characters and introduced them to show only watchers splitting it into two shows where they can focus more time on the two sets of characters would be a good move. Especially as we can still have cross overs so the characters can still interact with each other.

"But then it moves forward from there, and the fun will be knowing when those characters can cross-pollinate again, and when we can sort of Avengers Assemble everybody against a common, major enemy."

"The Thanos of the Grishaverse is a much-held secret that we've been excited to get to, if we ever get a chance," Heisserer said, adding that the villain they have chosen will be one that fans of the books are familiar with but he would not elaborate further.

Ok this part really really has me intrigued. Who could this 'Thanos of the Grishaverse' be? It sounds like it is someone that book readers in particular would know. Which makes me wonder if it is someone who hasn't appeared in the show yet. I mean if I made a list of potential thanos level villains then maybe Alina if they go dark with her but that seems too obvious, Aleks also seems way too obvious.

It could be a character from the Six of Crows duology or the King of Scars duology as I haven't read either, so I am not sure if anyone there could play the part of a really powerful villain. I did hear about a Saint Elizaveta, who has a connection with bees and there is a moment in the finale, when they are burning Aleks' body and Nikolai is giving a speech about a firebird rising and rebirth, where a bee lands on Zoya which I think is hundred percent a nod to Elizaveta and how she plots to bring the darkling back. But as for her being this thanos of the grishaverse I am not completely sold as from what I understand she gets killed off pretty quick in the duology, think she's only in one of the books, so I don't see her being a major enemy like Eric is talking about here.

One intriguing possibility is Ilya Morozova. Although he doesn't appear in any of the books he is mentioned alot and the show was dropping some pretty big hints that he is still alive, Baghra said that even after he was thrown in the river more of his writings on Merzost kept popping up. We also know that he too, like Aleks this season, was infected with Merzost which is why Aleks hoped a cure might be found in his journal. Which makes me wonder if maybe Ilya did find a cure. Can you imagine Ilya Morozova rocking up with the power to control Merzost without the effects of the poisoning that comes along with it? He could make a pretty formidable foe. He could definitely bring some more morozova madness to the show.

[resident-quilt]

GODDDD I WILL YAP ABOUT MUSIC DAY IN DAY OUT this is how I cope with TSV

some reallly good ones:

Basically Episode 7 (The episode we meet Paige) from start to finish!!! Starts w/ Paige's corporation getting restructured -> capitalism horros tm -> Paige needs to get away

Excuse the renovations, our Doberman, Dalmatians We're just makin' preparations for the false flag operation

2. Post Betrayal Carpenter. I MEAN HOLY SHIT look at that last quote?!?! take me back oh drunken gods of slaughter?!!?!?!

I used to move into the future, bring it all back Let it bleed through my fingers, a treasure in my hands Now I creep out when there's no one about 'Cause they put crosses on the doors to try and keep me out

Take me back Oh, drunken gods of slaughter You know I've always been your Favorite daughter

3. This one makes me cry every time :(

You're not a prophet Have you forgotten that you're godless?

4. This one's just very. encompassing? Very easy to picture all the characters and their journeys on, with a note of hope :)

I've been looking for the water looking for the sea Searching for my trouble but my trouble finds me

5. a joke song, but 100% Faulkner

My only friend, the worm upon my hook Wriggling, writhing, struggling to surmount The mortal pointlessness that permeates this barren world

Some general good Silt Verses world songs:

Sons & Daughters (The American Spirit): step into the raging waters / let them swallow you forever

The Angry River (Father John Misty): the angry river rises / as we step into the rain

Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode): Flesh and bone by the telephone / pick up the receiver, I'll make you a believer

Bilgewater (Brown Bird): There's an oily brown bilgewater baptism waiting below

The Beast (Delta Rae): See the beast sitting on the ridge / no time to waste; let him know that we're coming

Shake Off Your Flesh (The Huntress and Holder of Hands): ok. okokookok hear me out. Faulkner band AU. the singer even sounds like him

Some good Carpenter songs because she makes me go feral:

Empty Page (The Crane Wives) is very S1 Carpenter, it's very bitter at its inability to be truly good (have a pure belief in the Trawlerman) and directs an angry yearning for what the subject of the song has (Faulkner's unwavering faith)

Poor Isaac (The airborne Toxic Event) is very angry and very spiteful at God LMAO:

Open Water, Reckless Fishes (Squalloscope): I jump into the waters / Every time I do it's not even cold / So I just float / And I watch you as you want your God to watch over you / But you'd like to choose what He's allowed to see

Anyways. I've yapped enough but I hope you enjoy these!! Always willing to yap more :3

I have Silt on the brain still and think I need to make a playlist for this. If anyone has any suggestions that speak to them re: the world, plot, characters of the show please comment or tag them!!!! I'll post the playlist link once it has at least a dozen songs in it haha

[milkymoon2483]

Tension | episode 2 - The perks of the job.

Series Masterlist

Previous | Next

Pairing: Francisco Morales x female reader

WC: ~4200

Summary: Frankie has to see you again, so he comes for another massage. Heavy flirting ensues as the tension between you two rises. 

Disclaimer: Same as the last time basically; I’m not a massage therapist. The thoughts and actions described in this one are, as the title says, unprofessional. I do not mean to sexualise the job massage therapists do. I only mean to oil Frankie up in order to eventually serve you all with some deep-fried filthy smut, like you deserve.

*There are edible massage oils. Google says so.

Rating: E. for all episodes. MINORS DNI.

Warnings: heavy flirting, curse words, detailed description of massage, very unprofessional thoughts, descriptions of masturbation, SMUT (but it’s a fantasy), sex toys. 

The perks of the job.

Frankie was nervous again.

The weak orgasm he forced out of himself in a rush barely helped, but it was still better than nothing. He feared that when you lay your hands on him, his body might betray him. 

The clock showed 17:25, after taking too long in the shower he barely had time to get dressed before making the thirty minute drive.

He knocked on your door, heart pounding slightly faster than he'd like, hoping you would forgive him for being a few minutes late.

There he was, tall and scruffy and soft. 

He smiled wider this time, revealing a dimple on his left cheek. It made your heart skip a beat. 

"Frankie! Come on in" you chimed, smiling back. 

His gentle gaze scanned you up and down, resting on your breasts for a fraction of a second too long. Was your cleavage a little deeper than last time? You betcha. Did you swap the sports bra for a push up? Yes ma'am, you sure did.

Good job, boobs. You’re doing great. You smirked to yourself as you led him after you to the treatment room.

You wondered if he'd received your text, and why he chose to ignore it, and maybe it didn't matter. After all, he did show up. 

“Can I check on your shoulder before we begin?” You asked, with the intention of getting him reacquainted with your touch. 

“Sure” he nodded as he sat on the bed. 

Frankie could swear your fingers conducted electricity and he fought the urge to flinch, keeping perfectly still, trying to steady his breath. You prodded deeper into the muscle, humming in approval when you noted the knot was almost gone. You stood a bit closer this time, and you could smell his shampoo from his still-damp hair, reminding yourself that soon you’ll be able to run your fingers through it.  

“I can see your shoulder much better, how are you feeling? Anything you’d like me to focus on today?”

Tell me what you want, Frankie.

“It is actually much better. I’m just a little stressed out. So do your worst” He chuckled at his own response, hoping that it didn’t sound too much like ‘I just desperately wanted you to touch me again’.

You bit your lip and smirked, thankful he could not see the mischief in your eyes.

Careful what you wish for now…

“Okay then, I’ll let you get settled”

********

Your hands tingled with excitement as you entered the room again. The image of you rubbing them together in anticipation like an anxious little fly crossed your mind, and you stifled a giggle with a cough. 

Frankie’s fingers and toes wiggled, the buzz of expectancy intensifying throughout his body with every passing moment. Your’e so eager this is embarrassing. He told himself off. 

He let out a little purr of relief as soon as you laid your hands on him.

You smoothed your palms over the sheet that covered him, grounding him into the mattress, helping the nervous little buzz dissolve. You squeezed him gently, on his back, and along his arms and legs. The weight of your hands drew his nerve endings closer to the surface of his skin. He wanted more, greedy and impatient, he wanted all of you on top of him, pressing against him. He almost melted into the mattress right there and then.

You rolled the sheet down and scanned the broad expanse of him, as if reading a battle map, clocking all of the vulnerable spots that begged for your hands. He seemed even more touch-starved for some reason, or maybe it was just your own wishful thinking, like you could heal something deep within him, something more than sore muscles.

As you began tucking the sheet into his boxers you couldn't help but notice, tiny cartoon helicopters were scattered on the navy blue fabric. This time your giggle came too fast for you to stop.

“Well, aren’t those just adorable” you said, very much amused.

“huh?” he huffed, and then it dawned on him. “I wore the helicopter boxers, didn’t I?” He scrunched his face in an embarrassed smile.

“You sure did. I like them, they’re cute.”

“I was in such a hurry I didn’t really notice what I grabbed. They were a gift, a joke really, cause I’m a helicopter pilot..”

"Get in the choppa!" You attempted your most ridiculous Schwarzenegger imitation, earning a burst of laughter from Frankie. 

“Did Joel get them for you? I know you work together” 

“Nope, nooo, that would be weird. Actually, my ex did. I’m glad you like them.” He replied shyly.

Ex, Interesting.

“I really do” You added, giggling softly yet again

“Hey! Stop laughing at my silly boxers, everybody’s got a pair of ridiculous underwear. I bet you do too.”

Frankie’s tone was amused but he almost bit his tongue off, hoping to god he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. This wasn't like him, to be so talkative. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know” You replied flirtatiously, cocking a brow. Cool as a cucumber.

He chuckled and swallowed hard. So hard you could see his jaw clench.

He fucking would like to know. 

You burst in laughter again and he joined you in a full blown giggle fit. His laugh was lovely, all scrunched eyes and soft cheeks, and that dimple that was calling your name. 

It took you a few moments to settle, and you felt your chest swell with affection. You wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his hug.  

The hot drizzle of oil was heavenly, like a magical light dripping from your fingers, illuminating and warming him up from within. He almost knew what to expect now and it only made him more sensitive. 

You began with his back, spreading the warmth along his spine, applying pressure that brought immediate relief with each stroke of your palms. 

You marveled at his skin, scattred with little marks and freckles, soft and tender under your fingers. You could not compartmentalize his body, divide it into skin and muscle and tendons and bones. It was him, and you wanted to touch him and bring him pleasure and revel in his every reaction.

Frankie obliged your unspoken wish. He purred constantly now, not attempting to hide it anymore, rewarding you for every single motion. 

He wished he could look at you while you worked. He imagined the deft and elegant movements of your hands, in the flow of a dance you have performed a thousand times before. He always thought that watching someone in their element was incredibly sexy.

You moved to his side, draping his arm over the edge of the bed. You began with his deltoids and biceps, kneading from the edge of his shoulder and down his upper arm, sliding and pushing into the slightly taut muscle until it yielded. 

After dripping hot oil onto the pulse point on his wrist, you ran gentle circles and slid up towards the elbow to spread the oil. You proceeded to press both thumbs down and slide towards his palm, earning yourself an especially sweet purr, bordering on a moan. He never imagined how tense his arms were and the slide of your fingers felt divine. But when your fingers moved towards his palm, that's when he was really stunned. 

You reached his large hand, stretching it between your two smaller ones, running spheres with your thumbs on his palm and pressing into the small muscles. Tingles danced across his body, on the crown of his head, between his ears, down the small of his back. He was silent now, solely focused on the sensation that made his breath hitch. You laced your fingers with his, pushing on his knuckles to deepen the stretch, and then pulled on each finger from base to tip. Dirty thoughts swirled in his mind, progressively worsening with each digit you pulled. He wanted to feel your mouth on them, wondered if your little pussy would squeeze his cock just as tightly when you came.

Jesus christ, she’s trying to kill me. 

Frankie's eyes rolled back in pleasure, the tingles reached his jaw and ran along his limbs, a sensation both gentle and overwhelming, the likes of which he never felt before. 

"ah...just like that" 

It came out as a whisper, under his breath, but you both knew you heard every single word. 

You bit your lip as a soft breathy chuckle escaped your nose.

"I'll take that as a compliment" you whispered back. 

Frankies ears burned, Oh, fuck it…

"You should" he replied, with a soft unmistakable drawl to his voice. 

“I will” Your breath caught in your throat. 

Frankie was pleased with himself when he heard you exhale sharply. 

“Good”.

It was your turn to swallow hard.

He got you downright flustered as fuck. Heart racing, heat pooling in the apex of your thighs, belly full of knots and butterflies and nervous little flies rubbing their hands together.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself. Two can play this game.

When you began working on his other arm you watched his reactions closely. Your fingers spread wider now, reaching further, touching him as teasingly as you could without compromising the actual technique of the massage.

Frankie’s face remained infuriatingly calm. Eyes closed, soft purrs emanating from his parted lips, but nothing that betrayed his composure. 

When you reached his other hand, however, he seemed to struggle to keep his features poised.

His brows furrowed and he bit his bottom lip, muttering a tiny barely whispered “fuck”.

Frankie was struggling. What with? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but a good answer would be “everything”. To keep his composure, to keep his mouth shut, to refrain from babbling about how your touch made his skin ache with pleasure. 

Why the fuck does this have to feel so..fuck..so good. Dontstopdontstop… Please don't stop…Jesus.

The tingles were back, even stronger this time, sending tentacles down his spine and straight into his cock. He tried thinking about Joel, about work, about gray concrete and dirt and traffic jams, but each slide of your fingers on his hand sent a new wave of delight through him, and all he could think of was you.

You showed him no mercy. You made sure you had plenty of oil, pulling each digit, sliding back up the finger and pulling yet again, watching his expression turn almost pained.  

Poor baby, I’m just getting started.

When your hands left his, a part of him felt relieved. Thankfully he was able to fend off the impending boner just in time. Another minute of your ministrations and he would be done for.

You moved to massage his legs, unveiling the right one from beneath the sheet. Frankie was equal parts nervous and excited at this point, wondering what sensations you’ll pull from him and how affected his cock will be. 

His legs were lanky and muscular. You could see the long elegant line of his gastrocnemius under the taut skin of his calves. You poured the oil onto the sensitive spot at the back of Frankie's knee, knowing the heat will spread gently towards his groin. 

Your hands spread the oil downward and began the slow climb back up his calf, running over the muscle repeatedly and slowly building up the pressure. Frankie’s purr was accompanied with a little groan. 

“Hurts?” you asked.

“Yeah..s’good though” He replied through gritted teeth. You knew the sharp sting he was referring to all too well. 

“Want me to keep going?” 

“Yeah..mhmmm” 

“Look at you being so brave” Your tone was more amused now.

“You mock my pain” 

“Mhm, One of the perks of the job” 

You couldn’t help but tease him, it was just too much fun, he was just too sweet, too cooperative. 

Your hands reached the back of his knee now, and you began scaling them up his thigh, making sure to avoid his inner thigh as much as possible, only granting him a small little swipe towards the end. Just a little taste.

You could feel him clench immediately at the delicate touch, to your absolute delight.

So sensitive. 

When you asked Frankie to turn around after you finished his other leg, he prayed to Jesus, Mary and all the saints that his insubordinate dick will remain calm. Mercifully it decided to respect his authority. 

Frankie smiled at you softly, before closing his eyes again. If he’d kept looking at you he would have to reach out and pull you closer, he’d lick his lips and cradle the nape of your neck, before kissing you slowly, languidly. It would simply be inevitable. As he was laying defenseless before you, closing his eyes was the only possible way for him to avoid doing that.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself.

“Are you going to crack my neck again?” He asked, sounding a little apprehensive.

“I was actually planning on something else, but I can do that, since you seemed to enjoy it so much last time”

Frankie chuckled, “Yeah, it almost gave me a heart attack, t’was unforgettable.”

“Glad to hear I had such a lasting impression on you”

I just can’t help myself with this one, can I?

“You definitely did”

“I'm that bad, huh?” You said playfully as your hands began to slide on his upper pecs, kneading below his clavicles and towards his armpit. 

“Even worse” 

You hummed in satisfaction, sliding fingers up his long neck and behind his ears.

You proceeded to gently pinch his earlobes between your thumb and index, rubbing softly from lobe to helix and down again.

Frankies breath was heavier and sharper now, brows a little furrowed as wave after wave of goosebumps crashed into him, running down his spine.

Just to put the final proverbial nail in his coffin, your fingers laced through this hair, scratching his scalp and pulling on his strands ever so gently. 

This wasn’t a massage technique per-se, but you could admit that the temptation of seeing his blissed out expression again was too great to avoid. 

Frankie delivered spectacularly. Even from your angle above him you could see it, every crease in his face smoothed, every muscle relaxed, lips parted, jaw slacked.

"How are you feeling?" You asked softly as you ran a few final strokes on his arms.

"Great, yeah" he replied quietly, his eyes still closed.

He couldn’t quite put into words the feeling of being both turned on and fucked out.

"Ok then, take your time, I'll wait outside." 

Frankie was left alone, a mixture of conflicting emotions that he could not decipher flooded him all at once. Your touch did things to him that he couldn’t explain. It was all new to him. And it seemed like you were perfectly comfortable flirting with him, but under these circumstances it might as well be just some friendly banter. 

While he was still inside the treatment room, your mind was running a mile a minute. You desperately didn't want him to leave. 

He finally came out ,even scruffier and softer looking than before, the decision seemed easier.

"So…you were my last appointment for today, and I'm going to make myself some tea, would you like some?"

You tried to remain calm but your heart was beating violently. 

He might not even get the painfully obvious message, men are dumb like that, just see what he says… 

"Hmmm yeah, sure, I'd love some" Frankie replied, smiling widely and scratching the back of his neck.

He hated tea, but he got the message. 

"Earl Grey, Camomile, or Jasmin?" 

You asked, suddenly feeling too shy to talk about anything other than said tea. 

"I'll have whatever you're having" he replied.

It all tastes like dirt water anyway.

He watched you silently as you prepared the tea. You reached for the mugs (he wished they'd be on a higher shelf so you would need his help) as he was free to admire the curve of your ass in your white work pants, imagining you wearing a very delicate, flesh toned lacy thong, so it wouldn't be visible through the light material.

You placed the camomile-mint tea bags into the mugs and poured the boiling water, stirring a little bit of honey into both cups.

Frankie couldn't help but chuckle at his mug. It had drawings of several colorful tit birds. "Nice Tits" was written in black cursive. 

He took a careful sip but almost choked and sprayed the tea through his nostrils when you placed your mug next to his. It looked like the Pizza Hut logo, but said "Pizza Slut". 

He laughed uncontrollably and you joined him. "It's a complete sentence" he was barely able to speak. "Nice tits, pizza slut" you continued, giggling so hard that tears began to form in your eyes. 

"I like mugs with sexual puns, theyr'e ideal ice breakers" you explained, still very much giggly. 

"Sure seems to work" 

Frankie took another sip, noting that the tea was better than he expected. 

"I like this tea" 

"I'm glad you do. I like your dimple" You hoped that was obvious enough, in case the tea invitation didn't get the message across. 

"I bet you say that to all dimples"

"I do, they're great"

You bit your bottom lip, looking at him shyly through your lashes. 

"This is why my dimple has trust issues"

Frankie smirked, he could do this all day. When your hands weren't on him, bewitching him, he was back to being his old calm and patient self.

"I bet you see nice looking dimples every day" 

"I do, but I've got my favorites" 

"I'll take it as a compliment" 

"You should"

You definitely should, Frankie. 

"I will"

"Good" 

You both chuckled simultaneously now. 

"I have to get going, thanks for the tea, and the massage of course" 

He said softly, laying a large palm on your shoulder. 

"You're very welcome" you replied, focused solely on how warm and heavy his hand feels.

You walked him to the door silently, dragging your feet with every step. 

The air was thick and heavy as you stood by the door, much closer to each other now. Your skin buzzed with the need to be touched.

He held your chin gently, lifting your face towards him, his coffee brown eyes were slightly hooded, lips parted. 

You swallowed thickly.

Kiss me already.

"Bye, sweetheart," he said, his voice low and soft. His lips were so close to yours now, you could feel the ghost of his warm breath on your face. 

He tilted your head slightly to the side, laying a tender, lingering kiss on your cheek, dragging the tip of his nose ever so gently on your flesh. 

Motherfucker.

You blinked at him slowly, shocked at the audacity of this man, as he closed the door behind him, and left you just…standing there, breathless and desperate for a kiss that never came. 

Frankie was many things, but impatient wasn’t one of them. 

*******

It took you a while to erase the shocked and frustrated expression from your face. 

The self doubt came shortly after. You felt doomed to overanalyze your exchange, caught in a vicious cycle of being so fucking turned on by his composure and self control, to questioning if he was interested in the first place.

Your continuous flirting left little room for misunderstandings, yet there he stood, in that little room, awfully pleased with himself.

When you were finally in bed you allowed your thoughts to wander, and wander they did. 

To that smug, charming, soft, tall asshole. 

Fuck. You wanted to kiss him. Those soft lips, gentle creased puppy dog eyes, that dimple, the large warm hands… The more you kept thinking about him, the longer that list got.

And that fucking kiss on the cheek… A fucking kiss on the cheek. It was laced with so much potential and promise it almost felt like a whisper of all the dirty things he’d like to do to you. That tender little drag of his nose at the end… goddamn it. You groaned and slapped an open palm on your bed in frustration. 

You needed to remind yourself that he was practically a stranger, you only saw him twice. Surely, the massage created a false sense of intimacy, but maybe it was all in your head? Maybe your mind was so clouded by this affect he has on you, that you were willing to risk your reputation and professionalism for a chance to fuck him..? 

Treating him again would be a bad idea. 

Touching yourself was the next logical step, otherwise you wouldn't be able to sleep, being so wound up. You pushed the button and pressed the tip of the vibrator just under your clit, moving it gently against your folds, the buzz rippled through you, causing warmth to pool at your belly. It’s been a while since you turned to porn, but tonight you just wanted a quick release that will help you sleep. Scrolling through thumbnail after thumbnail of cocks and pussies and breasts and blowjobs, absolutely nothing made you want to press play. You huffed and tossed your phone aside.  Now you were attempting to pull a trusty fantasy from your mind, one that always did the trick, the one involving your highschool science teacher bending you over his desk, calling you a ‘good girl’. It all seemed blurry and patchy, like a cassette tape that’s been played and rewinded far too many times.

Fine.

I give up.

You leave me no choice, Francisco.

He’s laying on the massage bed, relaxed and warm and pliant as you lay on top of him. Your hips straddle his and you can feel his hard length through the thin material of his boxers.

You grind on him and he moans into your mouth. His lips are soft, so soft, and he tastes like the camomile-mint tea you made for him. 

He kisses you languidly, unhurried, tasting you, tongue gently swiping against yours. His long arms surround you, warm calloused palms roaming over your smaller frame, they finally rest on the swell of your ass, tips of his fingers brush ever so gently between the cheeks, causing a surge of arousal. 

You pull yourself up, pressing your core against him, he holds your hips and guides your movements. “Can you feel how hard you're making me baby? Fuck you’re so pretty” He looks up at you reverently. Mesmerized, blissed out, his eyes are almost black. 

You bucked your hips at the toy as you felt the heat pool between your folds.

You take his hands into your own, they are heavy and warm. You turn them so the palms are facing upwards. Reaching for the oil bottle, you pump some into his hands. He rubs them together, warming up the oil, and then lays them on your bare chest. His fingers brush gently against your nipples that stiffen at the touch. Your skin glows as he spreads the oil on the valley between your breasts and continues to massage the plump flesh that peeks and spills between his large fingers. 

You move lower, and pull his boxers down, revealing his heavy cock, stiff and dripping with precum. You pump some oil into your palm and spread it gently on his length. His eyes roll back in pleasure, he moans louder now, biting his bottom lip. His hips buck upwards into your fist. His grunts are desperate and breathy, god he sounds gorgeous. 

You're were so wet, practically dripping as you slotted the toy into your entrance, pushing the blunt tip in and out, gently fucking it into yourself. 

His breath hitches as you lean in and  place his throbbing length between your breasts, the softness gently envelops him, he reaches and pushes them together, so he can slot himself between them, the oil makes the slide of his cock deliciously smooth. "Fuck baby…fuuuuuck, your'e so fucking soft. Just like that, please baby, just like that" he cries out, lost in bliss, fucking himself in between your oiled up tits. 

Each time the fat tip comes up between them, you take it into your mouth, mixing your spit with the oil, making the slide wetter, messier. The wet squelch of his thrusts, his moans and grunts and curses, your little whimpers on his cock, it all sounds so filthy and debauched.

He looks down at you, fucked out and dumb with lust, and watches as his cock disappears between your breasts only to be swallowed by your warm mouth. “Gonna cum all over your perfect tits..fuck baby” He begins to burst, grunting lowdly,  coating you in thick hot ropes of creamy white. 

The thought of him falling apart pushed you over the edge so swiftly it almost caught you off guard, as if you were kicked off the edge of a cliff.  Wave after wave of pleasure crashed into you. You whimpered as your body was flooded with warm bliss. 

The orgazm's aftershocks subsided, but then you were flooded again, with a need more desperate than the one you started out with. It only made you hungrier, only emphasized what didn’t happen. What am I gonna do with you, Frankie? 

Your eyelids felt incredibly heavy as they inevitably draped over your exhausted eyes. Sleep enveloped you within a minute, pulling you into a dreamless slumber. 

Fin.

Thank you so much again.

@romanarose @hbc8 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @astroboots @welcometostayingawake @damnyoupedro @kirsteng42 @jump-over-my-fence

[tmntxthings]

Part two: Rise!Leo falling in love for the first time

-author’s note: i don’t know where we are going but we shall keep moving forward c: hope you all enjoy <3

-warnings: angst, mentions of violence, death, guns, blood (really not too bad), cursing, slow burn, fluff, unedited

previous - next

—————————————————————————

previously. . .

“LEO?!” He was a cheeky bastard! Leaving you hanging like that, winking and making you blush furiously. At least he didn’t have the opportunity to see how red you became. He kept shocking you, of course he could actually teleport!

That night you stayed up pretty late watching Jupiter Jim episodes. You figured you’d save the movies for last. As you watched the animation your thoughts keep wandering back. Back to two hours ago, to Leo. He was a mother-flippin turtle, mutant, and ninja! And let’s not forget to tack on the super power of teleporting.

Leo was incredible, nothing like what you had imagined. But incredible nonetheless. You didn’t view him differently, in fact your crush might’ve grown a little, he did save you, and squeezed your hands making you feel all warm inside, him flirting in person all up close and personal sure was more effective than just hearing his voice!

God you were going to die of embarrassment, was it even possible?? To be embarrassed of one’s own thoughts?! Looking back at the tv, you tried to refocus on the show. Jupiter Jim. Jupiter Jim. Jupiter Jim… Leo’s smiling face crossed your mind. “Agggghhhhh” you groaned in defeat as you paused the show, there was no way you would be able to give it the attention span it needed, not when you were just so, distracted!

。・゜・( pov change: leo)・゜・。

“What’s up Leon!” April answered his call on the second ring. “You busy April? I can call bac-“

“No I’m not-“ Leo immediately pounced as soon as April said no. “Great! I’ve got a favor to ask, think you have time to spare tomorrow night?” Leo’s voice had gone all nonchalant. No need for April to know just how badly he wanted- no needed, her to come with him.

That way you and April could bond over being humans and knowing about mutants. Knowing about him specifically. Then you wouldn’t be all in your head. You would be comfortable around him again, and everything would be perfect! His plan was in motion.

“Doing what exactly?” April questioned, when it came to Leo anything was on the table. So April wasn’t exactly saying yes right off the rip. “Uh well, you know” Leo responded, very vaguely. He hadn’t really thought about actually having to come clean about what he had been doing these past couple of weeks. It made him chuckle awkwardly and April quickly deadpanned, “No, I’m not really catching your drift here Blue.”

Leo cursed inwardly, here goes nothing! “So,” his voiced turned into a whirlwind “Imetthisgirlawhileagoandwereallyhititoffbutijustshowedherwhatilookliketodayandnowshesprocessingeverythingandiwantyoutomeether!” Leo was trying to catch his breath, there he said it. “I’m gonna need a slowed down version of that” April harped, annoyed that she only caught about half of that.

“Oh come on!” Leo whined, “April I want you to meet someone who has become important to me. They just found out about me being a mutant and I thought you could help them through, you know, everything!” He huffed, not wanting to explain anymore. April’s eyes had bugged out, she couldn’t believe her ears, “You’ve got a girlfriend?!” she yelled into her phone. Leo had to pull the phone away from his ear, “They’re NOT my girlfriend” Leo exasperated and made it very clear to April to not say that ever again.

“Okay okay, calm down. I’ll go, okay?” April’s agreement had Leo sighing in relief. Plan definitely in motion! He just knew the two of you would get along great. Leo couldn’t wait to introduce you to everyone! His brothers, pops, Cass, the whole crew. Leo thought April would be the best step at bridging whatever gap that might’ve formed between the two of you.

The call ended after the details of when and where were exchanged. Leo was entering the sewer lair feeling pretty mighty. “Leo my man, you do come up with the most brilliant plans” he complimented himself.

“I think I’d switch out the adjective Nardo,” Donnie quipped as he passed Leo to go to the kitchen. “Donnieee whatcha been up to” Leo ignored the jab and followed after his brother. “Just your normal genius routine, though I am trying to see if we have any pizza left.” Donnie responded as he swung open the fridge. His eyes slanting in anger as he felt the weight of an empty pizza box in their fridge. “Who just leaves a empty box IN THE FRIDGE???” His voiced raised in annoyance.

“Chill Dee we can order some more” Thankfully Leo knew this time that it hadn’t been him, he had been out of the lair and skating around the sewers while he debated on how to get April on board with his masterful plan. “If I had to take a stab at it I’d guess-“

“Mikey” they both said in unison. Donnie grumbled as he tossed the box in the trash. “So what’s this plan you were boasting about?” Of course Donnie would ask about that. Tell the truth or lie? Would it matter if he’d have to come clean sooner rather than later since April already knew? Leo’s mind was turning and Donnie could tell as his question went unanswered for a couple of minutes.

But he was also scrounging around for something to snack on before they all decided to order some pizza. “If I tell you, you have to promise to keep it a secret from everyone else until I say so,” Leo crossed his arms as he watched his brother’s shell flit around the kitchen. “I solemnly swear” Donnie said sarcastically, prompting for Leo to spill. “Alright, well, about a couple weeks ago-“

“Wait wait,” Donnie interrupted turning on his twin. “Let me guess” he cupped his chin in thought for a couple of seconds before he said, “you met a human and they saw you!” Donatello pointed at Leo with one finger daring him to say otherwise.

The blue turtle was completely flabbergasted, “how’d you?” Leo started to say but Donnie had anticipated that question, “I know you better than you think” Donnie said tapping the side of his head, “and I’m just good like that.” He smirked, making Leo roll his eyes. “Let me find out you’ve been listening in somehow on the tracing device and I swear” the threats were stopped as Mikey came into the kitchen.

The younger brother eyed Leo and Donnie. “You wanted that pizza box chilled for some reason Michael?” Donnie quickly remembered his earlier aggravation with whoever (it was probably Mikey) ate the last slice and didn’t have the courtesy to throw the box away. “Heh, about that… When we ordering? Cause I’m starving” Mikey asked sheepishly, there was no denying the accusations. He was definitely guilty, but it was an honest mistake! He just forgot all about the box when he held up the last slice of cheesy goodness up to his mouth.

Donnie sighed, “Alright I want pepperoni,” Leo quipped in, “and a supreme!” Mikey had his phone out the pizza place number was on speed dial. “Coming right up!” Mikey gave them a thumbs up and took a seat at the table. “Hey what about my order?!” Raph burst into the kitchen just as the other line picked up. “Cheese!” Raph said before Mikey could ask.

。・゜・( t i m e j u m p )・゜・。

Leo woke up around 8:30, he groaned and stretched out in his bed then jumped up. Tonight was the night. His amazing plan would take way and then he would get to introduce you to everyone else. April would be here in thirty minutes and then they’d portal out to your place.

Leo was excited, slightly nervous, but mostly pumped. This was gonna be great! He quickly got ready, putting on his gear, one can never be too careful… plus it made him look that much cooler. He posed in a length size mirror, he was ready!

“So how much do they know exactly?” April asked as they portaled out onto the rooftops of New York City. The night air sure was getting colder, October finally bringing in fall. “Just about everything” Leo said as he portaled again this time directly on your rooftop. Looked like they were early, you weren’t in your usual spot. “Anything I should know??” April continued to question feeling like she was going into this pretty much blind. “Just befriend them, I’ll head out after the introductions and pick you up later,” Leo explained the rest of his plan.

。・゜・( pov change: y/n )・゜・。

You opened the door that led out to the rooftop. Immediately noticing Leo and someone else sitting in chairs. The girl had her back turned towards you so she didn’t notice your entry but Leo’s eyes saw the door movement instantly.

“Y/n!” He smiled and you gave him a smile back, it hadn’t been a dream. “I want to introduce you to my friend, April O’Neil!” Leo said as April turned to meet you face to face. She was pretty was your first thought. Then the name clicked from what Leo had told you last night, she knew everything, the one chased by aliens and other mutants. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, I’m (your full name).” April reached out and shook your hand, “Likewise! It’s about time another girl came into the group,”

You continued to smile, until Leo cleared his throat and said, “Alright well I’ve got some uh, errands to run, I’ll be back later!” Before you could speak up he slashed one of his swords, gave you a tiny wave, and portaled away. You sputtered, did he really just leave you with his friend?? All alone? You guessed you’d have to push away your anxiety for now. “Sooo” April said, eyeing you up and down, then circled you.

“I can’t believe he just left!” You said flustered, “All part of his ‘master plan’” April put air quotes around the master plan part. You wondered what exactly this ‘master plan’ was all about but even though you weren’t in the loop you trusted Leo. “Wanna go walk to Central Park?” April suggested.

You chewed on your lip, it wasn’t exactly late. But you wondered if your parents would let, they were super overprotective. New York City at night could be a dangerous place. “Yeah sure!” You just wouldn’t ask, they’d assume you were in your room for the night since you had snuck out here in the first place. Usually by the time you and Leo’s late night talks were done it would be around 1 am. They were never up that late so the coast was clear to sneak back in on most nights.

You led April back inside the complex and towards the elevators. She told you how she first met the brothers, it had been all four of them. How they became fast friends. As the both of you walked down the sidewalk you started asking questions. About Leo and his brothers, how they became mutants, about the aliens Leo told you about. In the end the conversation flowed smoothly and April was super funny. “They’re great guys Y/n” April said, with a genuine smile on her face.

“I can’t wait to meet everyone!” It was the truth, April made you feel like this was just a new normal. That mutants and aliens weren’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, in fact April had said that the brothers were more human than those who claimed to be. “I hope you don’t mind I kinda led us away from the park, I got hungry!” April said sheepishly as she put a hand on her stomach. A soft growl came from April’s direction.

“Oh yeah no worries, what did you have in mind?” You didn’t want to laugh and call out April’s stomach growls. So you focused on the billboards, the sidewalk cracks, the strangers passing by. Anything to not laugh! “I was thinking this noodle pla-“ April had been in the middle of her sentence when someone pushed past her, bumping into her shoulder.

“Excuse you!” She called after the rude pedestrian. “Are you okay?” You asked, looking back to the person who kept walking and April. “Yeah I’m fine, but someone else needs to be taught some manners!” April sure was angry! Maybe hangry?

“Don’t let that jerk get you down April, let’s go get the noodles you were talking about!” You tried to steer April’s thoughts back to food.

“Jerk?? Maybe if you two pigs weren’t hogging up the whole pavement!” The guy had stopped in his tracks, he was still a couple of feet away but you had a bad feeling now that he was talking back. “PIGS???” April was fuming as she turned to face, well actually she had to tilt her face up because this guy was huge. He was also covered head to toe in a dark robe that made it impossible to see his face.

You leaned back, grabbing at April’s arm, “April… noodles” you whispered sharply. You were not confrontational at all. “Y/n this guy called us pigs, when he ain’t even showing his ugly face!” No sooner had April pointed that out the guy started marching forward. “Alright time to run!” You said quickly as you started pulling April away, she hesitated only a second before running too.

“Yeah that’s right! Run!” He hollered as the two of you kept going. By the time you reached the noodle place you were huffing and puffing as you slid into a booth seat. “Ughh that sucked!” April heaved as she slid into the seat across from you. “Sorry April, I don’t know if I could’ve taken on that guy” you felt bad for not standing up for yourself or April. “It’s okay, he was pretty scary,” she laughed remembering how swiftly he started approaching.

The two of you ordered noodles and the conversation was stunted by the good food. “Wow I think these are the best noodles I’ve ever had!” April nodded in agreement still chowing down. It was then that the door opened, a bell signaling another customer. Except it wasn’t just one, a group of people in dark drab robes entered the restaurant.

“Aw hell,” April started choking on her food as she scrambled to get her phone. The men were looking around and you noticed a particularly large figure at the head of the group. He turned and even though you couldn’t see his eyes you could tell he had made contact. “April I think we should go..” you’d never been in any type of situation like this. The only thing you could think to do was run, even though you had just ran here!

“Donnie” April coughed and cleared her throat as she brought her phone up to her ear. “Can you get to my location asap? I’m in a bit of a pickle”

“There they are,” a gruff voice called out and the group shifted to the corner where your table was. You squeaked, it had to at least be 14 guys. “Oh my god what are we gonna do?!” You looked over to April, trying not to freak out. “Don’t worry I’m on the phone with one of Leo’s brothers-“

“Yes Donnie like right now I swear they have a group of weirdly dressed men about to come over here and-“

“Talking about us?” The leader sneered, the both of you couldn’t possibly escape now.

“Is everything okay out there?” The cook who had served the food called out from the kitchen. To which one of the henchmen immediately went in and screaming proceeded. You were cringing down in your seat, fearing for the worst. “Hear that? That’s about to be the two of you.” The leader said as he slid into April’s side of the booth.

April’s hand curled around her phone, you could see her fingers trembling. “Leave us alone!” You said leveling your stare and trying to mean business. “Or else I’ll call the police.” Your phone was in your back pocket of the jeans you wore. The leader chuckled, and put his hands up mocking you. “Oh no! Not the police,” he turned and looked at his henchmen who all started joining in laughter.

You took him looking away as the chance to start dialing 911. But April kicked you firmly underneath the table. You looked back up at her in confusion as she mouthed the word “guns.” You felt all the blood drain from your face as you heard a loud bang from the kitchen.

“Damnit!” The leader shot up from his seat and the crowd parted to let him go check what had happened in the kitchen. One of his goons was dragged out sporting a bloody nose and some gruesome gashes, he was bleeding badly. “Fucking cook tried chopping me up Boss, I didn’t know what else to do!” He was groaning and grunting from his injuries but the leader batted him upside the head.

“You do what I tell you to do, now we’ve got a dead guy in the kitchen! I wanted a free meal!” He hollered. “Gimme your gun,” the guy did begrudgingly and then another shot rang out. Your eyes had been wide with fear earlier but now you were pretty sure you were going to die.

“Don please tell me you’re almost here,” April whispered, you hadn’t realized she was still on call, and you couldn’t hear him reply.

“Sorry about that piggies, now where were we?” The leader started approaching, blood splattered his robes from the shot he fired just seconds earlier. He sounded so casual. He was definitely a murdering psychopath. And you were going to die in a noodle shop. Somehow you hadn’t passed out yet, maybe holding onto the sliver of hope that was April calling for the turtles.

Ding! The doorbell rang out clear and everyone’s head turned, you hoped whoever it was turned and ran for help. “Anyone call for a- BUTT WHOPPING?!” A flash of orange whirled into the room, nunchucks spinning and flying out knocking two henchmen out cold. Before anyone could move blue light shined in the middle of the room. You knew it was them. They had come, your heart swelled with hope. Leo had come to save you!

[mxchellesworld]

Discuss!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out

Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 

a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!

***

Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 

Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 

Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 

Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 

You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 

“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 

Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 

“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 

“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 

The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 

“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 

He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 

“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 

“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 

“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 

You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 

That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 

You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 

Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 

Got him.

“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 

As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 

For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 

The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 

You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 

“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 

As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 

You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 

Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 

The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 

“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 

“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 

“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 

As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-

“Y/n?” 

The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 

His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 

“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 

“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 

You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 

As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 

You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”

Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 

“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 

“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 

“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 

His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 

“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 

The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 

You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 

“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”

“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 

Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 

“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 

“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 

“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 

“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 

The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 

You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 

You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”

He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 

For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 

Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 

You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 

“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”

“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 

“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 

Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 

“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”

His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 

You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 

The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 

Then a sad look came across his face. 

“Spencer what’s wrong?” 

“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 

“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.

He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 

“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 

[starks-hero]

Right a Wrong

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You, Sam and Bucky get to work repairing Sam’s family boat. Turns out the boat isn’t the only thing in need of fixing. But with help from you and Sam, Bucky figures some stuff out.

Word Count: 3,745

Warnings: a bit of a make-out session but not enough to be classed as smut, tfatws spoilers! 1x05

a/n: This is a direct result of watching episode 5 too many times. Spoilers below!

|| Part Two ||

Small waves lapped gently against the dock and the afternoon sun warmed your back as you worked on the old boat.

You were standing side by side with Bucky, crowbar in hand as you attempted to pry off the old metal cleats from the boats side, whilst he expertly pulled rusted pipes apart and threw them into a pile. As if on queue, one of the pipes on the opposite side of the ship burst, hissing and spurting out white clouds of steam. You marvelled at how quickly Bucky reacted, quickly crossing the deck and sealing the leak with an abrupt upward turn of the pipe with his metal arm.

"Where did you learn so much about fixing boats?" You teased, motioning to the now fixed pipe with your crowbar. Bucky dusted off his hands.

"I used to work on the docks in Brooklyn before the war." He shrugged, rolling up his sleeves to the elbow and taking a seat on a crate next to you. "I picked up a few things."

He furthered his point by leaning over and pulling at the cleat you'd been grappling with. It came away from where it was attached to the boat's side with ease in Buckys iron grip. He smirked as he tossed the scrap aside and you rolled your eyes.

"Show off."

Bucky chuckled, sitting back as Sam stepped onto the boat. He was carrying a crate in one hand and shook his head when he noticed Bucky's smirk and your dismissive smile.

"Alright, you two." He placed the crate down and pulled out two green bottles, throwing one to Bucky and handing you the other. "Beer break."

Sam took a seat across from you both and you sighed as you opened your beer, raising it up to Bucky.

His annoyance was discredited by the fond smile that broke through his expression as he begrudgingly clinked his bottle with yours. You reached over and did the same with Sam as the three of you relaxed under the heat of the Louisiana sun.

"It's starting to look good," you noted as you glanced around the boat and Sam smiled.

"Yeah, it's coming together." He took a swig of his beer. "You know, Sarah and I were talking." He started and both you and Bucky glanced up at him. "And we could use the help. Don't suppose you two would consider staying around a while? Just till we get a lead on Karli."

The offer caused a noticeable smile to pull at your lips whilst Bucky shifted beside you at Sam's words. His agitation grew and he stood.

"I've got my plane to catch tomorrow, a hotel room for the night," he said, raising his bottle to his lips to hide his doubt. He really didn't have that much of a plan beyond that.

"You're just gonna set me up like that, huh?" Sam asked and Bucky shrugged.

"Well, I don't want to make it weird for your family."

"Just stay here," Sam said and you couldn't help but nod subconsciously. The truth was you really didn't really want to leave. There was something about staying with the Wilson's and spending the day fixing up an old run-down family boat that made everything seem so normal. It gave you a sense of home, a sense of normality that you hadn't had in a long time. For a while, it even made you forget about the flag smashers, Walker, all of it. It was a much-needed break.

"The people in this town are the most welcoming in the world. They don't care if you wear small t-shirts or if you've got six toes or if your mom is your aunt-"

You laughed and Bucky barely hid a chuckle behind a huff of breath and a bright smile.

"Okay, I get it. The people are nice."

You placed your bottle aside and turned to Sam.

"You're sure Sarah doesn't mind?" you asked and Sam's smile only widened.

"She's the one that offered."

Grinning, you sat back and nodded. "Then I don't see why not."

"See?" Sam pointed to you and then Bucky. "Just stay, man."

Bucky shuffled his feet for a moment before finally answering with a begrudging, "Okay. Alright." He didn't say anything else as he turned and walked down the boat.

"He'll come around. He probably just wants his space." You said, picking up your beer. Sam nodded, taking a swig of his own drink.

"I hope you're right."

You woke up feeling more refreshed than you had in a while. Your hands and back hurt slightly from the tiring work on the boat, but it was a dull ache compared to the constant throbbing that came after a mission. Your cheeks were warm, surely as a result of the hours spent out in the sun the day before.

Both you and Bucky stayed the night. Sarah had offered you the spare room and after a solid fifteen minutes of bickering, you finally conceded to Bucky and agreed to sleep in the guest bed. He took the couch.

The sun was just beginning to rise up over the water when you and Bucky both headed back out to the boat. Sam joined you not long after. You worked until mid-afternoon, reluctantly taking short breaks. You fell into a quick rhythm as you worked around the boat. Surprisingly, the three of you seemed to make a pretty decent team off of the battlefield.

"Hey, can you pass me a 12-300?" Sam asked from under the boat's control panel. Bucky reached into the toolbox and placed the wrench in Sam's outstretched hand. A few seconds later Sam was rolling out from under the controls and glaring disapprovingly at Bucky.

"What?"

"I asked for a 12-300," Sam stated plainly. "This is a 10-250."

"No, it's not." Bucky bit back.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Hey, geniuses." You cut their bickering short as both men turned to look at you. You held up the grease-slick wrench that had been misplaced and tossed it to Sam. "You left it below deck when you were working on the engine."

Sam muttered a quiet 'thanks' as he got back to work. Silence settled over the three of you for a few minutes until Sam decided it was getting awkward.

"So, are you still planning on leaving tonight?" He asked from under the station and Bucky nodded, before realising Sam couldn't see him.

"Yeah," he said loud enough for Sam to hear. "I'll be out of your way soon."

You could hear Sam's sigh from beneath you as he clambered back to his feet and stood between you and the super-soldier leaning against the wall of the cabin.

"Well, there's no hurry."

Sam didn't say anything else as he cleaned the oil and grease from his hands with a cloth and stepped off the boat. Bucky sighed and let his head fall back behind him.

"Go," you ordered plainly and he looked up at you.

"What?"

"Go," you said again, nodding your head towards where Sam was walking away. "You both need to talk. Bucky, whatever you're not saying, it's getting to you. So go talk to him."

Bucky hesitated, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He glared at nothing in particular but his gaze softened when it found you and he muttered a quiet, 'fine.' You stepped aside as he made his way past you and stepped up onto the dock, heading after Sam.

"And don't be a smart ass!" You called after him. He didn't reply, but you could only hope that Sam and Bucky's conversation would be somewhat constructive.

"Nice shot!" You retrieved the football from the back of the goal as Cass, Sam's eldest nephew, celebrated his score.

Once Sam and Bucky had left the boat, you had headed back to the house, helping Sarah with any errands or chores, doing anything you could to help out. Sam and Bucky had been gone a little over an hour and you didn't know if that meant their talk was going very well or very not. You'd been sitting rather uselessly on the couch, waiting in anticipation, when Sam's nephews had invited you to play a game of football. And how could you refuse?

You tossed the ball back to the boys who eagerly pounced at it. You were stood in the small goal, allowing both boys to take as many shots as they wanted. AJ stepped forward and kicked the ball, groaning when it flew off to the left, a few meters away from where you were standing and missed the net entirely. He glanced down at the ground, disheartened.

“Hey, it's alright, AJ.” You smiled as you ran to grab the ball and passed it back to him. “Come on, try again.”

With encouragement from his brother, he took the shot and this time the ball planted itself in the top corner of the goal. Both boys cheered as they celebrated and you smiled. You dusted yourself off, your knees and hands covered in dust from the football game as you turned to head back inside the house. Both boys protested as you left but you promised them you'd be back. The more time you spent with AJ, Cass, Sam and Sarah, the more you didn't want to leave. There was something about staying with the Wilson's that made you feel content. It was homely and offered a sense of normality that the last few weeks had caused you to miss.

You entered the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water. Sarah had told you over and over again to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. You leaned against the counter, glass in hand and just basked in the feeling of not having to worry about donning a suit and risking your life at a moments notice. It was something you could get used to.

“That was adorable.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of a voice and you found Bucky joining you in the kitchen. He was smirking fondly.

“You and the boys.”

You chuckled softly and shrugged. “They're sweet kids.”

Bucky nodded, pulling a glass of his own from the shelf and filling it with water from the tap. It furthered the sense of domesticity that you were really starting to love. He took a seat at the table across from you.

“So,” you started as you placed your own glass aside. “How did it go? You and Sam.”

Bucky chuckled and you couldn't tell if it was sarcastic or genuine, but something about the grin that lingered on his lips had you banking on the latter.

‘‘Not bad,” he admitted eventually with a shrug. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “We talked. He said if I'm going to fix anything, if I'm going to get what's left of him out of my mind.” Bucky subconsciously ran his hand across his temple. “I'm going to have to put in the work. Help the people I wronged instead of just saying sorry.”

You nodded, silently making a note to thank Sam later on. He always had a way with words, he could always get through to people. That's why he was given the shield.

“He's got a point.”

Bucky scoffed and hung his head at your words. “I should have known you'd be on his side.” There was no hostility in his words. He just sounded amused, and maybe a little tired.

“I don't think this comes down to whose side I'm on, Bucky. We both want what's best for you.” You answered honestly and Bucky glimpsed up at you. He anxiously toyed with his hands as you spoke, looking vulnerable, and slightly lost despite how hard he tried to hide it. You knew Sam had already spoken to him, but it couldn't hurt for you to say something as well.

“Look Bucky, telling yourself that you're okay and that everything that happened doesn't matter anymore because you've made 'amends' isn't going to help.”

He sighed, shuffling his feet against the tiles of the kitchen floor. “I know,” he admitted quietly.

“And I know you're probably tired of hearing this but, you're not him anymore, Bucky. You're not the winter soldier. Everything you did whilst you were him wasn't your choice. Just because you remember it doesn't mean that it was your fault. It's not your responsibility to fix it.”

Bucky sighed but didn't interrupt. He was listening. This wasn't like the therapist that he was forced to sit in front of and lie to every other week. This was someone he trusted, someone whose words he valued. Someone he honestly believed could help. He sighed but nodded to show that he was still listening.

“I think Sam’s right,” you said. “It might not be your responsibility to fix everything that went wrong but trying could help. It could give you that closure that you keep chasing after. You need to let go, Bucky. You need to forgive yourself. Maybe you just need the people who are hurting to forgive you first. Then you can learn how to do the same.”

Bucky's expression was unreadable. So many emotions flashed across his eyes you found it difficult to pinpoint just one.

“How do I start?” he asked quietly. It just seemed impossible. There were so many people he'd hurt, so many people he'd wronged. He'd left children as orphans, wives as widows and parents childless. How could he possibly start trying to fix or make all those people feel in any way better?

You smiled softly at his question. “Small. One at a time,” you said simply. “Then just keep putting one in front of the other.”

Bucky considered your words, glancing down at his hands as he thought. Before long, a small smirk pulled at his lips.

“I can't decide who'd make a better therapist. You or Sam,” he joked and you laughed, shaking your head dismissively.

“Well, Sam did council veterans so I think he takes that title.”

“I'd say it's pretty tied,” Bucky said, walking across the kitchen and standing next to you as he washed his glass, drying it off and placing it back on the shelf. The room fell into a comfortable silence.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He said after a moment, his tone sincere and his expression genuine as he looked at you. You nodded, gently placing your hand against his shoulder.

“Don't mention it. You know I'm always here if you need to talk.”

The sound of a football colliding with the wall dangerously close to the window followed by two voice's loudly shouting, 'sorry!' in unison drew a quaint laugh from you both.

“Duty calls.” You grinned, patting Bucky on the back as you passed him. “Team Wilson is missing its goalkeeper.”

Bucky chuckled, watching you go. You crossed the kitchen but his voice stopped you just as your hand reached the doors handle.

“Y/N?”

You turned back around to face him and couldn't help but notice that he seemed a little more apprehensive than he had before.

“Yeah?”

He exhaled slowly, willing himself to tell you what was on his mind.

“I was just thinking things over and you know, I’m leaving today,” he hesitated slightly before glancing up at you. “And I guess I was wondering if you’d come with me?”

Your hand slipped from where it was still holding the brass handle of the door. You tilted your head as your mind fully processed his question. The shock must have been evident in your expression as Bucky rushed to continue.

“I know you're planning on staying here and I get why.” He pulled a tattered red book from his pocket which you immediately recognized as Steve’s. He began absentmindedly turning the pages, running his fingers over the paper. “I want to try and start fixing things, making things right. But truth is I have no idea where to start. I thought that maybe you could help me with that?”

“I thought you wanted your space," you admitted after a moment.

“No.” He shook his head. “That's the last thing I want.”

You thought it over, resting your back against the door. Bucky trusted you, evidently a lot more than you thought he did. Not only was he comfortable enough telling you how he felt and admitting he didn't know what to do next. But he also wanted you with him. It was clear he was holding back, not wanting to overwhelm you by admitting just how badly he wanted you to go with him. But the way he eagerly watched you as he waited patiently for your answer was a dead give away.

You wanted to help Bucky, you wanted to be there for him. If that meant helping him right his wrongs and staying with him during that trying time, at least until Sam got a lead on Karli and the Flag Smashers, then you were more than happy to comply.

“You're sure about this?” you asked and Bucky pushed off the counter and crossed the room, stopping just in front of you.

“Absolutely.” His voice dropped down to a hushed whisper. “Come with me.” His hand gently caught your wrist, his fingers running up your arm. His face was inches from yours now, your breaths mingling. “Please?”

His lips pressed to yours before you could answer and you immediately kissed back. Your hand fell against his shoulder, the other laying gently against the nape of his neck. He groaned quietly against you, his arms finding your waist as he gently guided you backwards till your back met the wall. He pressed into you, his hands roaming up your body and you moaned as he deepened the kiss.

“Yes.” You answered when he pulled away slightly and he smiled against you, relieved. Neither of you said anything else as Bucky sighed and pulled you closer, his thigh slipping between your legs as he pinned you to the wall.

God, he'd wanted to do this for so long. Wanted to kiss you, to feel you against him. He wanted you. Your hand slipped into his hair and you pulled him closer, smirking against him. You'd wanted this just as bad. And you both only had your own stubbornness to blame for taking so damn long. It didn't matter now though. Not as he gently bit down on your lower lip and you slipped your hand under his shirt and felt up his chest. It all felt so natural, so right.

“Ten minutes.”

Both your eyes flew open at the all too familiar voice, Bucky pulling away from you so quickly he only barely avoided falling over a nearby chair.

“I left you two alone to talk for ten minutes,” Sam repeated from where he was standing on the other side of the room, his arms crossed. You tried to subtly smoothen out your clothes whilst Bucky ran his hand through his tangled hair.

“We were,” Bucky said, clearing his throat. “We were talking. We...talked.”

Sam nodded, entirely unconvinced, and smirked. He reclined against the counter, showing no sign of leaving anytime soon. A painfully awkward silence settled over the kitchen as Sam continued to shift his knowing stare from you to Bucky.

The humiliation of the entire situation seemed to get to Bucky first as he clasped his hands together after less than a minute.

“You know, what? I'm leaving in a few hours and I've got to pack so I better just go-” Bucky rambled as he shot you a subtle apologetic look before turning to Sam, who was nodding along in faux agreement to his pathetic attempt of an excuse.

Bucky quickly crossed the kitchen, Sam harshly patting him on the back as he passed him and left the room. Leaving just you and Sam alone. You turned to your friend and found that he was still grinning at you with that same mischievous look in his eyes. You felt like a deer in headlights. In an attempt to act as though Sam hadn't just walked in on you and Bucky making out, you tried making normal conversation.

“Sam, there was actually something I wanted to tell you. I know I said I was going to stay for a while but I guess there's been a change of plan. I-”

“I know.” He cut you off and his smile only widened when you looked at him in utter confusion. “You honestly think he would have asked you to go with him if I didn't tell him to get his shit together first?”

Your confusion slowly melted away and was replaced with a look of disbelief. You laughed despite yourself. You should have known Sam had something to do with it. ‘‘How long have you been playing cupid?” you asked jokingly and Sam chuckled.

“He needs you, Y/N. More than he wants to admit,” Sam said, tone now more serious than before. “Things will be fine here, I'll call you as soon as Torres finds us something to work with. But right now, he needs your help before that hole he's stuck in gets too deep for him to climb out of.”

You sighed as the weight of Sam's words set in. He was right, Bucky really did need you. That wasn't a responsibility you could afford to take lightly. Not that you planned to.

“Thanks, Sam,” you said genuinely and Sam smirked as he crossed the room and pulled you into a hug. He could tell you needed it.

“Anytime.” He pulled away and offered you a warning glare. “But I swear, if you two making out the minute I turn my back becomes a regular thing I'm going to kick both your asses.”

“Got it,” you nodded, barely stifling a laugh.

Sam's scowl melted into a smile and he motioned towards the stairs. “Go on, get your things together. You've got a plane to catch in a few hours.”

You smiled and headed upstairs after Bucky. Sam leaned against the counter with his arms crossed and a satisfied smile. Getting you two together had taken more work than he'd thought. But he knew it would be worth it, you both needed each other. Whether you were willing to admit it or not. And Sam was confident that if there was anyone that could help Bucky and offer him that sense of home and peace that he was so desperately craving, it was you.

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