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mittensmorgul · 4 years

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As Above, So Below

I’m still trying to pinpoint exactly why the focus on “heaven is fixed and actually a paradise now!” is just so deeply unsatisfying to me. And I think I need to preface this with a bit of backstory about me, because I think that gives the rest of this essay some relevant context.

I know this isn’t relevant to my main point here, but this is a metatextual and thematically identical example of the exact thing I’m gonna lay out, because context is always helpful. So please forgive this seemingly irrelevant detour, because I promise it will be relevant by the end.

(plus, would it really be an Essay By Mittens™ without at least one baffling tangent? no, it would not!)

Tangent time!

I think everyone that follows me knows how skeptical I was... or should I say how WARY I was of the way Eileen was returned to the narrative this season. We were warned in the PREVIOUS EPISODE how much Chuck was attempting to interfere in their lives. I was accused of some very nasty things, of hating the ship, or hating the character of Eileen, or of hating Sam and not wanting them to be happy. No amount of pointing at obvious warning signs in the text, no amount of yelling about Sam’s God Wound or the absolute klaxon warning that the wound had become “quiet” and his Chuck-O-Vision Nightmares had apparently stopped seemed to matter. I was declared “wrong” and told to shut up.

And then 15.09 happened, and basically everything I’d been wary of was shown to be what actually happened, but there were still unresolved issues. Eileen doubted her own feelings and walked away. She doubted what was actually real. And at the time, I said many times that I would be thrilled to see those issues resolved by the end of the season, and for her to truly know that what she’d felt growing between her and Sam was real. And by the end of the season, despite my personal horror at her previous situation (and having that personal horror compounded by the fandom literally gaslighting me and attempting to bully me into ignoring this basic actual plot detail of this specific growth process which... in the context of what my personal objection was to accepting her return at face value in the first place having been personal trauma associated with gaslighting and manipulation...) by the time 15.18 aired, I was 100% convinced that Sam and Eileen had fully chosen each other, and felt the traumatic pain Sam suffered during that text conversation with her during the snap. She NEEDED to come back, because she had been set up to be part of Sam’s Win. They were clearly each other’s future.

The show literally put in all the work to make even *me* feel this to be True and Right and Good. And then after that point we never even hear Eileen’s name again. We never were told that she was even returned at the end of 15.19. Sam, who had been so entirely devastated by her disappearance in the previous episode that he couldn’t even process it was apparently hit with an amnesia hammer and just... never even thought about her again through a long greyscale life with a blurry baby Dean factory vaguely in the background of a single scene of his life. I can’t credit or justify how after an entire year invested in making us all truly care about Sam and Eileen and the happiness they found in each other if only the cosmos would allow them to choose each other in the end would just... erase all of that in the series finale.

Which brings me to the second tangent, which is specifically about *me,* and how I feel about the cosmic order in the television show Supernatural. Because I feel a lot about it. Probably more than most people ever did. And this is also important to understanding the main underlying point I need to make here.

Something I’ve been most looking forward to, for YEARS, about Supernatural eventually ending someday was writing a book, or a thesis, or even just organizing and compiling all my observations into a cohesive narrative specifically about the cosmology of the Supernatural universe. I’ve been cobbling together my observations and realizations about the nature of heaven, hell, purgatory, the empty, the alternate universes we’ve seen, and yes, even the cosmic function of the mundane level of the story as told by events that transpired on Earth. So of everyone watching this dumb show for the last 15 years, I don’t actually know anyone who cared more that I did about finding a satisfactory resolution and transformation of every plane of existence-- the mortal world AND the “afterlife realms” we’ve experienced on this show. And in the wake of the finale, I feel cheated out of that. Because in the end, it wasn’t about the triumph of free will and a flip of the script, it was just more of the same.

And now that I have those two preliminaries out of the way, I’ll finally get to the point. :’D

(hooray, it didn’t even take 1k words to get there for once!)

The “main stage” of Supernatural has always been Earth. It’s always been “Humanity.” At the very start, we meet two men whose lives had always been dictated to them by higher powers. At first, that “higher power” was their father who raised them in his vengeance mission, who trained them to hunt the supernatural. It was the inciting incident of the entire series, after all, their realization that forces outside of their control had irrevocably altered the course of their lives. It had forever torn down what they’d trusted in family, in personal safety, and would become something they couldn’t outrun or fight back against for long before another wave of cosmic discord would settle over them once more.

We watched this story play out in ever increasing spheres of cosmic significance, until Gabriel laid it out on the table for them in the simplest possible terms (in 5.08).

GABRIEL: You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate. SAM: What are you talking about? GABRIEL: You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other. DEAN: What the hell are you saying? GABRIEL: Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always. A long pause. SAM and DEAN look down, then at each other. DEAN: No. That's not gonna happen. GABRIEL: I'm sorry. But it is. GABRIEL sighs. GABRIEL: Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be. ***

And isn’t that all even 1000x more painfully ironic that it all still happened even 10 years later? It was always going to end with them. And lol, “I wish this were a TV show” because if it was then it wouldn’t have to end bloody.

But this… was a Major Acknowledgement that the meta level of this story was consistent, and was telling us something important. It demonstrated that the Cosmic Structure Itself was the cause for Sam and Dean’s “destiny” in this story. But that’s not what the point of this story has ever been.

Nobody (including me, who is literally obsessed with this aspect of the story) has ever invested themselves in the narrative of Supernatural because they cared about the fate of the cosmic order over and above the fate of the characters who had committed to overthrowing it all, to “tearing up the pages” and writing their own destinies. I mean, we became invested because Sam, Dean, and Cas as characters took us by the hand and invited us to come along with them as they battled against fate for the good of EARTH and HUMANITY.

And certainly, Heaven being a horrific sort of eternal replay of the “highlights” of individual souls greatest hits, where free will didn’t apply as everyone was just boxed away into their individual holodecks to serve as some sort of giant Heaven Battery powering the furtherance of this narrative, this “cosmic order” that had become so powerful it dictated the events and manipulated the lives of people who still existed in the ostensible realm of free will and human life on Earth… that couldn’t stand in the end. But what the narrative (and people I’ve seen attempting to justify the finale as narratively sensible) seems to have forgotten was that all of that was Chuck’s construct to begin with. That without Chuck holding his kingdom in Heaven together, the walls of all those soul cubicles ceased to even be relevant.

After spending their entire lives to this point constantly fighting their way to the absolute pinnacle of the As Above, So Below narrative and pulling the plug on the original creator himself, Humanity should’ve triumphed. And I’d argue that it DID, through Jack restoring the missing essential “humanity” to the divine condition. And, silly me, I thought they’d achieved the promise of “paradise” heralded by Jack’s birth at last, and truly “flipped the entire script of the narrative.”

Ever since they thwarted the original apocalypse, I had hope that they would continue to achieve the same result right up the ladder. Metatron trying to fill the role of Chuck Junior hit his own narrative wall in TFW, while Dean’s battle with the Mark of Cain, and Cain telling him he was “living my life in reverse” and would succumb to destiny by killing his loved ones in the “reverse order” to Cain’s own path to downfall cemented this for me. Dean not only failed to kill any of his loved ones (you didn’t kill your own brother. why?), he SAVED them. He didn’t fulfil the prophecy in reverse, he subverted it. He UNMADE it.

Perhaps I was thinking on too grand a scale, that the ultimate inversion wouldn’t be “God is overthrown and replaced by more of the same,” but “God is overthrown and the entire order of the universe is restructured from the bottom up rather than the top down.

I’d hoped against hope that the conclusion of the narrative would be “As below, so above,” with the fundamental power of human love becoming the new foundation of the cosmic order. It never even occurred to me that “taking back the narrative to rewrite it for ourselves” was not the ultimate goal of Team Free Will, or the ultimate expression of their biggest win.

This whole “well heaven really needed to be rebuilt, there was still work to be done!” seems… irrelevant to me if they’d truly won free of the cosmic narrative. The entire structure of the universe-- including Heaven and Hell-- should’ve defaulted to the paradise state that Jack was literally born to bring to fruition. Wasn’t that the point of his entire role in the story, ultimately?

And if that wasn’t the case in the end, why did we never learn the fate of Hell? Was it just… irrelevant and unchanged after this? Or just… abandoned as a concept entirely? It’s just strange to me to put such a focus on heaven being the sole sphere of import in the end that it undercuts the essential humanity of the narrative for me.

The story itself had kept Heaven on a back burner for years, only occasionally mentioning that the structure of the place was falling further and further into disrepair with a dwindling force of angels struggling to keep the walls in place at all, that it seems like it could’ve been an afterthought at the end of the series rather than a focus so large it required the death of both main characters to make sure we all understood that Heaven Had Changed Now. Because TFW had never been fighting to make Heaven right. They’d been fighting to save the world itself, for humanity to all have a chance to live their lives as their own.

And we didn’t need to see that in the final hope they might get their own lives on Earth to explore. In the end, the fundamental narrative that Life On Earth was dictated by the cosmic structure of creation was never fully subverted. And for me, that’s the main reason I just… can’t accept the finale. It wasn’t a victory of free will and humanity, in the end it was just more of the same.

I appreciate the attempts to take the essential bones of the story we did get and apply a different polish to the surface of the skeleton, but to me it still feels like we’re looking at completely different beasts in the end. Like… to me this was as jarring a revelation as those drawing of modern animals reimagined as dinosaurs entirely based on their skeletons. Like, all along the narrative told me I was looking at a swan. They told me this skeleton they’re building out from is definitely a swan, without a doubt. I know what a swan looks like-- a graceful feather-covered bird with magnificent wings. I trusted that in the end it would be at least remotely swan-looking. And then the finale ended up looking like this

and I just don’t even know where everything went so wrong. Or maybe all along I just assumed they actually knew what a swan looked like, but weren’t sure they could actually pull it off and settled for whatever the heck this is instead. Either way, I’m actually kinda grateful to the finale for being so entirely disappointing on every level, because otherwise I probably would’ve tried to adopt the monstrosity of it anyway. And I’m really, really glad I don’t have to.

#spn 15.20 #spn cosmology #heaven hell purgatory and the empty #and this is why no amount of narrative defense of the finale is capable of making me feel any better about it #i admit i thought too big... but it was all right there in the narrative to see #oh well at least all i have to do to hold on to my grandest notion of the universe is throw out the finale :'D

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not-so-mundane-after-all · 3 years

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Alright, so- Inspired by my awesome friend @undertheknightwing who created this AMAZING list of Dad!Dick Grayson headcanons (go check it out!!!) I decided to write down the mess I have in my own head into this giant ball of fluff, humor and angst.

So let me present you:

The Graysonfam List of Headcanons and Analysis

It's a looong ass list of my headcanons, mixed with an analysis of some scenes, looking into the motives and behavior of the characters. It's in more or less chronological order and divides into groups: season 1 (+2x01), the time jump, season 2, season 3 hopes/predictions and future. If you want me to turn any of these into fics or you feel like you could do something with it, just let me know. And now... ENJOY!

SEASON 1:

The first time Dick thinks of Gar and Rachel as his kids happens during the events of 1x08 and 1x10. It's pure instinct and it doesn't come to him until much later when he realizes that not only he thought of them this way but he actually meant it.

When he and Donna start translating Kory's notes and it becomes clear that Rachel might still be in trouble, he's immediately on his feet, asking Donna for the keys to her car and ordering her to take the books with her, so they could continue on the way. He's acting fast, ignoring Donna's questions because there's no time for explanation, my daughter is in danger. He almost says it out loud - almost.

When Donna tells him the danger clearly comes from Kory, he wants to deny it. Kory adores these kids just as much as he does, she would never hurt them. But he puts his feet on the gas anyway, breaking every speed limit possible, because if one hair falls from Gar's and Rachel's heads, he will burn the world to find the person responsible, even if it's Kory (especially if it's Kory)

When they get there the first thing he sees is Gar being thrown in the air, and his mind short circuits to only one thing: Gar, my boy, my son. Is he okay? Thankfully Donna takes care of the rest so he's free to take care of the boy. He pulls him up, holding him tight by the shoulders and makes sure he's okay, but the words 'my son' are still circling his mind.

Speaking of Donna - when Dick starts telling her about Rachel the first time, she wants to cry from happiness. Over these past five years all she saw in Dick's eyes was pain and suffering. A storm of bottled up emotions, raging monsters of anger ready to get out. His body looked weighed down, as if he was Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. And now he's talking about this little girl who threw a brick at a cop car in Detroit and his eyes start to shine as if they were stars in the night sky. His smile grows when he brags about how smart and witty she is, how she's more intelligent than she gives herself credit for, how similar the two of them are. He talks about her bravery and her big heart and he sounds so damn proud Donna's heart is about to burst out of her chest. "I thought I couldn't do it." he tells her. "I fucked up so many times. But she had awakened something in me. I just can't describe it." She can but she doesn't say it - he needs to get to it on his own. (Over a year later, when the girl who turned her brother's world upside down tries to guide her back to the light through the darkness of afterlife, Donna finally says "I always knew he'd be a great father someday. You have no idea how much he loves you." "He told you that?" Rachel asks quietly, trying to hold back her tears. Donna looks at her and smiles. "He didn't have to. I saw it in his eyes.")

Then Dick gets to the part about finding Rachel's mother and suddenly something changes. He's trying to seem like he's happy for her, he says he's glad everything ended well and now Rachel can start a new life but Donna sees right through his facade. He thinks he can't be a part of this new life and it's killing him.

Which brings me to something very important I've noticed a long time ago - Angela's presence makes Dick hold himself back. That's why he decided to leave - Rachel had her mother back, a guardian who could take care of her from now on so he wasn't needed anymore. His job was done. But at this point he's already too attached to just leave like that and when he learns that danger isn't over he comes back immediately. But when he gets there he's met with a wall. Angela is very territorial (we all know why but Dick didn't know that) and Rachel is too overwhelmed by everything but let's be real - if Angela wasn't there Dick would be hovering over Rachel like crazy. But he doesn't. Why? Because he thinks it's not his place to do so. It's easier to go after Kory than to just be standing there awkwardly, wanting to help and comfort but not being able to.

He remembers everything Trigon put him through - every fucking detail. There is some stuff from the vision he wants to laugh at - Him and Dawn? Married? Maybe once upon a time he entertained that thought but he abandoned it long ago. There are things he's actually grateful for - seeing Gar and Rachel as they could be in the future, grown up, in college, happy. That's the one thing he doesn't want to forget. And Johnny - he doesn't want to forget Johnny either.

His mind was sort of awake, in two places at once, even though he didn't have any control over his body. He remembers chasing the kids around the house, Gar screaming "Real life horror movie!" as he and Rachel tried to run away from him. He remembers Rachel pleading with him when the others were beating the poor boy. He wanted to respond, wanted to let her know he can hear her but he couldn't do anything. He watched helplessly as his own hand pulled Gar up and finished what others started. He screamed and shouted but it was in vain. And then he cried and howled like a wolf watching as Trigon ripped Rachel's heart from her chest and crushed it in his hand, then placed the red gemstone in her forehead. He remembers her dark eyes and evil smirk. He remembers thinking it was over, feeling heartbroken and defeated. He gave up, let the darkness swallow him whole. He didn't want to see more, it was easier locking himself up in this vision because he knew Bruce laying dead in rubble wasn't real. And then she came to him. Back straight and head held high, piercing blue eyes locked on him. He remembers his tone when he spoke to her, taunting and dangerous but it didn't scare her. "We're supposed to save each other" she told him and he wanted to cry but Trigon had him wrap his fingers around her throat and choke her - another thing he would never do. He would never lay a damn finger on her and Trigon was well aware of that. But Rachel knew that too. And she wasn't scared.

He remembers the circus she brought him into. Empty stage, broken chairs scattered everywhere. He never wanted to come back here. And even though his body stood there motionless he was trashing inside, wanting to get out of here but more importantly wanting to get her out of here. Seeing Rachel on that platform, ready to jump, it was too much. He couldn't lose her, like he lost his parents. He didn't catch them but he sure as hell was going to catch her. So when she fell - he snapped. Got the control back, his muscles acted on memory and he jumped. He flew like he used to and wrapped his fingers around her wrists, holding her tight. He caught her. He would always catch her.

When they wake up all he wants to do is hold her. Relief almost sends him to his knees. But then Gar walks in, all bloody and bruised and all that relief turns into freezing agony and guilt. I did this, he thinks. It's my fault. But there is no time for apologies or explanation, Trigon is still there. Letting Rachel go deal with him on her own is hard but Dick knows she could do it - and she did. Seeing her walking out of that fog is one of the most beautiful views he saw in his life. And when he finally takes her into his arms he doesn't let go until Kory basically rips her out of his embrace.

He wants Kory to go with them. Kids need her. His idea of giving Gar and Rachel a new life included her. Included both of them, taking care of the kids together. Things between them are tangled and complicated but one thing that is neither of those things is their attachment to these two. But Kory just got her memories back, she has her own issues to deal with, she needs time and space - and he respects that, so do Gar and Rachel. But Dick would be lying if he said he didn't notice their disappointment.

The first day of their roadtrip across the country is quiet - mostly because they are all so goddamn tired. Dick pulls up to a motel before dark, deciding that the more sleep they get the better. They pick two rooms next to each other, Jason and Gar in one, he and Rachel in the other. Rachel immediately vanishes in the bathroom, so Dick has time to sit down and think (as if he wasn't doing it the entire day while driving). An idea is shaping in his head, memories of a beloved city in sunny California come to the surface of his mind and he knows this is where he wants to take the kids. But he has to make a stop at Gotham first, he needs to talk to Bruce and most importantly return Jason home. Rachel walks out of the bathroom in fresh clothes Donna left for her and crawls into bed without a word. He takes his time to tuck her in, then sits down on the edge of her bed. She's beyond exhausted, but she's safe, she's with him, everything will be alright. He will never let anyone take her away from him again. And when he's watching her fall asleep, holding her hand in his, three words come to his mind, words he's not ready to say aloud yet but he knows them to be true. I love you.

THE TIME JUMP:

Physical affection is something I think the show is pretty good at showing but I still crave to see more. It's clear that Dick struggles to be affectionate, whether that be through words or touch. And he doesn't even realize he's actually very good at it. Why? Because whenever he does it, he's acting on instinct. The biggest proof? All his hugs with Rachel in s1. Boy had no idea what to do, it was written on his face, but his arms went up nonetheless. He didn't freeze, he didn't push her away, but reacted accordingly. The hugs in 1x02 and 1x04 are the only ones he initiated on his own, but he still wasn't sure if he's doing it right. As the show went on he slowly eased into it, but was still taken by surprise when it happened (1x08, the first hug in 2x01). By the end of 2x01 he seems to be pretty comfortable with it but I think it's during the time jump when he really starts to understand the importance and power of physical affection and how these kids really need it. The pat he gave Gar on the shoulder in 2x03 or their hug in 2x09 felt really natural, same as the goodbye hug with Rachel in 2x13. All three of them got comfortable with each other during those first three months in SF. Which leads me to…

Cuddle sessions. Yes, this is definitely a thing at Titans Tower (*cough*Grayson*cough*household*cough). It starts that first night when Dick, Rachel, Gar and Jason gather on the couch to watch a movie. Rachel lays down and rests her head on Dick's thigh while Gar settles comfortably on his other side. Dick has no idea when it happened but he freezes for a moment when he realizes his hand is on Rachel's head, fingers carding through her hair. The girl seems to be asleep already but stirs when he stops and asks him to continue, so he does. Soon after that Gar's head lands on his shoulder as the boy starts nodding off. The sudden contact wakes him up and he pulls away awkwardly, apologizing but Dick tells him it's okay so Gar leans back against him. The feeling of having the two of them so close brings a sense of calm to Dick and soon he falls asleep as well. He wakes up in the morning with the two teenagers basically laying on top of him and Jason standing over them with a smirk and a phone in his hand.

After that it sort of becomes a thing and not just during movies. Whenever Dick sits down on the couch, whether to work or to simply relax, Gar or Rachel (or both) would find him and snuggle to him, at first hesitantly, but with more confidence as the time passes and they get comfortable with it. After three months of living together all Dick has to do is pat the spot next to him for them to jump on the couch and cuddle up, tho Rachel is the one who does it most often and with no hesitation.

Dick very quickly starts understanding how important it is for them so he starts returning the favor. A good job pat on the shoulder during training, a kiss dropped on the top of the head during breakfast, a comforting shoulder rub when they aren't feeling well, emotionally or physically. Gar loves when Dick ruffles his hair, he even leans into it sometimes, while Rachel's favorite things are forehead kisses and tucking her hair behind her ear (but neither of them would ever say that out loud)

Words are as important as gestures, which brings us to affectionate pet names. It feels normal and almost ordinary when it comes from a woman - Rachel has been called 'honey' by Melisa and 'sweetheart' by Dawn but she wasn't phased by it. But when Dick calls her 'honey' for the first time, she nearly drops her coffee mug. It comes out so naturally and he doesn't even realize he said it, but it takes her breath away and she needs a moment to collect herself. With Gar it's usually 'Bud', 'Buddy', or 'Tiger Boy' spoken affectionately and he's always beaming with happiness when he hears Dick saying that.

One night, shortly after Trigon, Rachel slips into his bedroom in the middle of the night, saying she can't sleep. The memories are too vivid, too real. Her lips are trembling and she looks like she's about to fall apart and that's all it takes for Dick to sit up, open his arms for her and with full awareness and conviction say "come here, baby girl". She falls asleep snuggled to his bare chest and Dick feels his throat getting dangerously tight. He'd seen many times, mostly on TV, images of parents holding their babies to their bare skin - something about creating a bond through skin-to-skin contact. He was never able to wrap his head around this concept, but now, as he feels Rachel's cheek pressed to his heart, her hand closed in his resting on his stomach, the understanding hits him like a speeding train, pushing a tear or two out of his eyes. It's something indescribable, feels profound and almost sacred. The love he feels in this moment is overwhelming.

Gar has nightmares too, he usually wakes up screaming. It scares Dick at first, how he reacts, because the boy pulls away, wide eyed and shaking, and doesn't want to be touched. Guilt overwhelms Dick because he's sure it's because of him, because of what he did to Gar while being under Trigon's control. He tries to apologize and Gar accepts it but explains to him that his nightmares are not Dick's fault and they are not even about that (Dick can feel the boy is lying for both of their sakes but lets him anyway). It takes a few tries and lots of pleading and building trust but one night Gar finally falls into Dick's arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He pulls the boy close, runs his fingers through his hair just like Gar likes it and whispers "it's okay, my little boy." over and over again until Gar's body goes limp in his hold and he can put him back to sleep. Neither of them mentions it in the morning, but Gar gives him a look full of gratitude, filling his heart with warmth.

One evening during their first week in SF they organise a 'bonding night' - Gar's idea. There's take out and board games and staying up all night, talking. At some point one of them suggests sharing any hidden talents (besides superpowers of course) and details no one knows about them. Jason admits to being a theatre nerd ("it's thespian you idiots!") and proves it by flawlessly rapping verses from Hamilton. Gar thanks to travelling with his parents can fluently speak few African languages, he also shares that during his time at the Doom Manor Rita taught him the basics of playing piano. When it's Dick's turn he gets up from the couch and vanishes for a few minutes, but eventually comes back with a guitar, saying he had learned to play during his circus days, but hadn't done it in a while so he might be a little rusty. He plays a few cords, trying to spark his memory and when the notes finally come to him, a beautiful melody fills the room (I always imagine it's Viva la Vida by Coldplay). And suddenly this melody is joined by an angelic voice - Rachel closes her eyes and starts singing quietly, recognizing the song. She only opens her eyes when she's finished and finds the three of them looking at her in absolute awe, Dick's eyes seem to be a bit watery. She gets a bit embarrassed and says it's nothing but they start cheering and clapping anyway. Gar asks her where did she learn to sing like that and she admits she used to sing in a church choir when she was little, but had to quit after her powers started showing. The night ends with a little jam session and lots of laughing.

Gar and Rachel grew up on golden era of Disney Channel shows (Jason knows them too but he'd rather be tortured than ever admit that) and once the news is out Dick is forced to sit through the entire run of Wizards of Waverly Place. But watching Rachel flawlessly impersonate the main character Alex, knowing every line word for word makes him grin like a madman and laugh so hard his stomach hurts and tears roll down his cheeks. He pulls her to him and she falls on him in a fit of uncontrollable giggles while Gar and Jason give her a standing ovation.

SEASON 2:

While hanging out together is important, Dick also makes sure he gets to spend some time with each of them separately. With Jason it's mostly through training - the boy isn't very keen on spending one-on-one quality time outside of the gym, but prides himself to be Dick's right hand man during lessons, having more experience over the other two. With Gar it's video games most of the time - Dick learned to play specifically for him and actually started paying attention to gaming lore. But it's not just that - Gar has a talent to anything tied to technology so they spend a lot of time together in the tech room where the boy learns to operate the Tower system. It brings both of them a lot of joy. Rachel, as the only girl in their little family, often needs some time away from the boys, so Dick takes her on walks in the mornings or a drive around the city, shows her his favorite coffee shop which soon becomes their favorite spot. They talk about everything and nothing, because conversations were the thing that brought them so close in the first place, and it just feels good.

Rachel also loves spending time with him in the tech room - but not like Gar, she's not learning to run it (although she picked up a thing or two) but she's simply there to keep Dick company while he works (can he even call that work if he hasn't been officially working as a detective for quite a while now? Not to mention his resignation has been sent to Detroit the day they arrived in SF). She brings him coffee or snacks, stands behind his chair with her arms around his neck, observing whatever he's doing (and asking lots of questions) or simply sits in the other swiveling chair, drawing in her sketchbook or turning around so many times Dick starts to worry she's gonna get dizzy. He asks her one time if she's not bored sitting here with him but she just shrugs and says she'd rather be here than anywhere else and his heart grows tenfold as he smiles at her

So remember how Rachel lost control and attacked Jason in 2x03? And how Jason shouted "Stay away from me you fucking freak!" right in her face? And how Dick walks in like 3 seconds later asking if everything's okay and the tension is HIGH??? Well, he might have not seen what happened, but he definitely HEARD the full thing, he was within the hearing range. The fact that he didn't attack Jason immediately is really impressive, if this was s1!Dick - Jason would be on the floor right now, probably with a swollen eye and few broken bones. But here Dick is trying to play it smart and investigate. If it wasn't for dr Light he would probably get to the bottom of this and had a conversation with both Jason and Rachel. I'm thinking of writing a one-shot AU where he actually does it (mostly thanks to Gar who is a terrible liar when caught of guard)

When the last cab drives away and the Tower becomes empty, save for him, Gar and that boy in the infirmary, Dick does not leave to meet with Adeline immediately - he goes to Rachel's room and starts scrubbing it clean from all the crosses painted all over the place. His eyes are burning, the bile in his throat is the size of a tennis ball but he doesn't allow himself to cry. At some point Gar joins him and wordlessly starts helping him. It takes them a little over an hour and when it's done they both drop down on her bed, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "She'll be back." Gar tells him. "I'm not so sure." Dick replies, not looking at the boy. Gar puts a hand on his shoulder. "She will. You just wanted to protect us. Deep down she knows that, she's just angry." Dick knows Gar's reasoning is valid, but looking at his own reflection in the broken mirror he can't help but think that in the long run Rachel will be better off without him. They will all be better off without him.

It's not until his first night in prison that Dick starts to regret his decision to cast himself away. He wakes up in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes, his mind still reeling from dreams of Gar and Rachel seven years in the future. They were adults, happy and independent - that's good, right? That's what he always wanted for them. But his tears start to fall when it comes to him, hitting him like a wrecking ball, that spending 7 years behind bars means he won't be able to see them grow up. Something like a panic attack comes next and he is barely able to pull himself out of it. He's suddenly overwhelmed by questions. My kids… will they be okay? Is Kory back at the Tower or is Gar still alone? What is he gonna do when that strange boy wakes up? Was there any food in the fridge when I left? I left Gar some money, but still… God, and Rachel! She has never been on a plane before, what if she gets scared and her powers start acting out? What if she gets night terrors again? Will Donna know what to do? His head is spinning, these thoughts are suffocating him. Only a breathing exercise Bruce had taught him years ago is able to help, but it takes longer than usual. Dick doesn't sleep for the rest of the night.

He's not sure how but when Dick sees a bird in a window of his cell, he knows it's no ordinary bird. It's a raven. It's her. He gets up on his feet despite his knees being weak and wobbly and he smiles, grins like an idiot as he calls out to her. Because it has to be her, right? But all hope leaves him when the creature flies up again with a croak and disappears from his sight, leaving him alone. Dick drops to his knees, feeling more exhausted than ever and curls on the floor, his body shaking from shivers. No one is coming. He brought it on himself. He is forgotten already. But then he hears quiet tapping and something nudges his hand. He opens one eye only to look right into a ruby red one. The bird is here, inside, right in front of his face. It flaps its wings and its feathers turns into dark smoke for a moment. "Rachel…" He breathes out, holding to his last shreds of consciousness. The raven lowers its head, snuggling it to his forehead and before Dick passes out again he hears three words said by this quiet, angelic voice he loves so much: Don't give up.

When they bring Donna back to the Tower and lay her down in the infirmary Dick feels empty and overflowed at the same time. He goes to strip off his new suit and change into something more comfortable but it's a struggle when his hands are shaking so much. He goes back to infirmary and passes by Dawn in the doorway, who walks out of the room with Donna's Wonder Girl belt in hand, not even lifting her eyes up at him. He closes the door and sits down, taking Donna's hand in his but he is able to sit there for only ten minutes before the feeling of her hand growing cold in his makes him want to run away. He makes his way back to his room but takes a step back when he notices two colorful heads in the training room. Gar and Rachel are sitting on one of the benches with their backs to him, talking quietly. Gar is hunched over and Rachel has her arm around him and her head on his shoulder. The sight makes Dick's throat tight. He walks up to them quietly and they only notice him when he's standing in front of them. They simultaneously lift their heads up, showing him their red, swollen from crying eyes and his heart can't take it anymore. He falls to his knees in front of them. "I'm here." he whispers as he takes their hands in his. "I'm right here." he whispers again and his voice breaks. Suddenly two sets of arms are wrapped around him when both Gar and Rachel throw themselves at him, sobbing into his shoulders. He holds them tight, kisses their heads and lets his own tears fall into their hair as he keeps promising them he is not leaving them ever again.

SEASON 3 HOPES/PREDICTIONS:

First few weeks without Donna and Rachel are absolute torture. Grief is normal, he's been through it before, it's nothing new (maybe more painful and guilt-ridden than he ever experienced). But not having Rachel around and how it impacts him on day-to-day basis after spending every day with her for the past few months is something totally new and unexpected and Dick is pretty sure he's never felt like this before. He's overprotective to the point of being overbearing and Gar points that out to him numerous times. He keeps making her breakfast, forgetting she's not gonna show up in the kitchen when the clock strikes 9 am. He keeps looking into her room like he's expecting to find her there. He constantly checks his phone as if she were able to call from Themyscira, where there's no signal, let alone phones. "Is it what sending your kid out to college feels like?" Hank asks him one evening and Dick almost chokes on his beer. Gar laughs so hard he falls off his chair.

Rachel does everything she can to not cry in front of Dick when they say goodbye to each other but the moment the plane is in the air, she breaks. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make and seeing Dick so broken definitely didn't help. But she has to at least try to bring Donna back, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself otherwise. So she gets herself together and keeps telling herself to be brave. For Dick. For Donna. For her family.

Gar becomes the center of family's attention and he can't say he doesn't love it. That spot always belonged to Rachel after all, but he was never jealous, nor he resented her for that. She totally deserved it and she can take the spot back when she returns (but he's never gonna let her get away with not saying goodbye to him). He's the 'A-Student' now during training, Dick is putting some extra work to make sure he learns as much as he can. Kory helps him a lot with the trauma CADMUS gave him and works with him on the development of his powers. He tries turning into other animals and after a month of struggling he finally turns into a mouse. Kory walks with him sitting on his shoulder around the whole Tower like the proudest mama in the galaxy and Dick's beaming with pride for the entire week.

After Dick's off-hand comment that Rachel is missing on so much Gar starts to record vlogs on his phone about what's happening at the Titans Tower so Rachel can watch it and catch up when she's back. The material he gets is pure gold and even when others beg him to delete it, he refuses saying this is too good to be destroyed.

The day before Rachel's first attempt at resurrection she uses a freshly learned trick to come to Dick in his dream. They meet on the beach she's currently on, meditating. Seeing him for the first time in three months makes her want to cry but she promised herself to be strong so he wouldn't worry and she holds her tears at bay. She falls into his arms with the brightest smile and burrows her face in his chest. He's holding her tight, asking if everything is okay and she nods, not quite trusting her voice at the moment. "I can't keep you here for long, but I needed to see you." she tells him. She's not sharing any details about her plan, the less he knows the better, but he begs her to be careful and stop if it turns out to be too much for her. Dick pulls her to him one last time before she has to serve the connection and presses his lips to her forehead. "I love you." he whispers and she closes her eyes, hugging him tighter. "Come home soon." "I love you, too. And I will."

To find Donna's soul Rachel needs to go to The Underworld, which is a dark, scary place (well, for the most part). The search is difficult and the journey ahead of her is long. On her way she meets other people, souls who sometimes want to help her, sometimes otherwise. She sees Adamson and all the people who were after her, drowning in a river of fire, calling for help. One hand grabs her by the ankle and Rachel looks down right into the hollow eyes of her birth mother. She struggles to set herself free from Angela's hold but eventually the creepy hand lets go of her and Rachel runs away. Not all the meetings are painful though. She gets to see Melisa again - she tells her about Dick and Gar and Kory and everything that happened. "I found him, mom. I found the boy from the circus." she says and they both start to cry. Melisa tells her how proud she is and lets her continue her journey. But the most surprising meeting happens right before the end. Rachel knows their faces only from her dream and the blurry videos she found online. But the resemblance to Dick is undeniable - he has his mother's eyes, his father's hair. Mary Grayson takes her into her arms with tears in her eyes, saying how happy she is to finally meet her. They chat for a while, laugh and cry together like they've known each other their whole lives. "He's so lucky to have you." John tells her. "Tell him we're proud of him." Mary asks her when she is about to leave. "And come back to him in one piece." Rachel nods, holding back tears. "I will, I promise."

When Rachel arrives at Wayne Manor it's already dark outside. A black car pulls in the driveway. Dick, Kory and Gar are waiting by the main entrance and when the car stops they approach it and Dick opens the door. Rachel is sleeping in the backseat with her head falling on her shoulder and the view is so beautiful and adorable that Dick stops for a moment to just look at her with a dreamy smile on his face. He lifts his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and leans in whispering "welcome back, sweetheart". She smiles without opening her eyes and instantly lifts her arms to wrap them around his neck. They both laugh as he pulls her out the car. She steps away from him for a moment to hug Gar and Kory but sticks herself back to his side immediately after. Gar takes her bag and the car drives away while the 4 of them head towards the door.

She failed (or at least she thinks she failed) and that first night back she cries her eyes out into Dick's chest, apologizing over and over again. "It's okay, honey." he tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Remember what I told you back at the airport? No matter how strong we are, we-" "We can't always change the world." she finishes for him and smiles through her tears. "I know. I've had those words in the back of my head every day." They lay in silence for the next few minutes, Dick's hand slowly stroking Rachel's hair. She hesitates a bit but then starts telling him about meeting his parents. He smiles at her through tears. "I'm so proud of you." he whispers. "You've grown so much. You're so strong. Going away was a good decision, it gave you skills and experience you wouldn't have gotten here. But now I'm just glad I have you back. I was worried sick." Rachel smiles into his chest. "I'm not going anywhere again."

As happy as Dick is to have her back, some part of him wishes Rachel stayed longer on Themyscira. Everything that's happening in Gotham is making him consider sending her and Gar away to some place safe and hidden, The Justice League has a lot of those. But his kids are Titans - they both remind him of that. "You didn't train us to hide." she tells him. "We can handle this." Gar adds. And Dick believes them. And he's so proud his heart can barely take it.

Donna's return comes as a shock to everyone - Hank brings her to the Wayne Manor one day, saying they bumped into each other at some restaurant in the city. "How-" Rachel asks with eyes opened wide in disbelief. Donna smiles at her. "I don't know. I got lost, but… I found my way back somehow." Dick slowly walks up to her, his eyes welling up with tears. "But the spell-" "It worked." Donna explains. "It just needed more time." After that he sweeps her into his arms and extends his hand to Rachel to pull her in as well. He holds them both as close as he can, kissing their heads and swears to himself to never lose either of them again.

FUTURE:

Thoughts about adoption appear in Dick's mind more or less when he brings Gar and Rachel to San Francisco, but they are more of an abstract dream than something that could be real. But as the time goes on those thoughts become more and more solidified and are too big to be ignored. He finally decides to talk to someone about it and that someone is Dawn, mostly because they've had this kind of conversation before. "It's a big responsibility - taking her in. But taking care of a kid is complicated, you know that better than anyone." These words stay with him every day, that's why he goes to her. He struggles to say what he wants to say but she understands and hugs him with tears in her eyes saying she knew he'd do it sooner or later and that she couldn't be happier for him. She helps him with paperwork and prepares him for meetings. He breaks the news to the kids the moment everything is ready. They're suspicious of the 'gifts' he hands them since it's neither's birthday today and there's no holiday. They share a curious glance as they rip off the shiny gift paper to reveal two folders of documents (while Dick almost dies from anticipation and nerves). Gar is the first one to react - his lips slowly stretch into the biggest grin imaginable. "For real? Are you serious? This is real stuff?" his voice grows louder and more excited with each following question and Dick can't help but laugh. Rachel stays quiet though. She stares at the papers in her hands with her brows furrowed. Seconds pass and she's not moving. It's like she's not even breathing. "Rachel?" Kory asks quietly, taking a step her way. And then the floodgates open. Rachel's face twists into a grimace as she starts sobbing uncontrollably. She covers her mouth with her hand to muffle it but there's no use. Dick walks up to her, terrified he did something wrong but then she throws herself into his arms, repeating "thank you" and "I love you" over and over again. Dick pulls Gar to him as well and hugs them both. "You're my kids." He whispers to them. "I love you more than anything in the world. And nothing will ever change that." By the time of Rachel's 16th birthday she and Gar are officially Graysons.

Dick and Kory get married the following year. It's a glamorous but small ceremony with reception held at the Wayne Manor. For the months leading to the big day the kids (with the help of the entire team and few other people) prepare something very special - and the idea comes from Uncle Clay. Turns out Clay, as the closest friend of Dick's parents, owns a small storage unit where he keeps some of the stuff from the circus, including personal things - like a box of journals of Mary Grayson, who had been writing them since she was a child. Clay tells Gar and Rachel a story about how Mary used to write poetry which then she turned into songs and sometimes performed them at the circus. He even still has some of her stage outfits. The three of them get the idea that Gar and Rachel should look through tapes with her performances and pick one song to sing together at the wedding - and that's what they do. They find a beautiful ballad where Clay accompanied Mary on the piano (he teaches Gar how to play it) and in secret the team prepares the whole show. The performance happens during the Bride and Groom's first dance. Gar enters the stage in a tuxedo, says a few words and starts playing. Dick and Kory start dancing slowly but stop for a moment when he starts singing the first verse. They have no idea what's coming next. Rachel, in Mary's dress stands in the crowd surrounding the couple. Hank comes to stand behind her and secretly puts a microphone in her hand. She comes in for the second verse of the song and that's when Dick and Kory stop dancing completely, too surprised to move. They watch in absolute awe as Rachel joins her brother on stage and they finish the song together. When Dick realizes he actually remembers this song from his childhood and that the dress Rachel is wearing belonged to his mother he breaks down in tears. After the song is over the kids join their parents on the dancefloor for a bone-crushing group hug (and to help you imagine this even better this is the song I imagine them singing)

The day Rachel and Gar get their college acceptance letters is one of the most stressful days in their lives. They're in the Tower's kitchen, both holding the envelopes in their hands, afraid to open them. "What are you guys waiting for? Open it!" Kory encourages them. They agree to do it on three. Dick holds his breath, gripping tight his wife's hand. The kids read the letters, fully focused. There's a stretching moment of silence, and then… "I got in!" "Me too!" A lot of screaming and laughing and jumping around happens afterwards, but even in the chaos of all of that Dick can feel a burning knot tightening in his stomach.

And I thought sending Rachel to Themyscira was hard, Dick thinks when they drop Gar and Rachel off at college on their first day. Thankfully it's the same college, but it's in Chicago and it's still half a country away from home. He's not sure how many times he checked already if they have everything they need, if they haven't forgotten to pack something, if they are absolutely sure they know their schedule and so on. Kory, standing next to him with her hands on her growing belly, laughs at him fussing over them. Gar and Rachel just smile and nod, seeing how stressed he is. Yes, Dad, we're sure we have everything. Yes, we checked. Of course we'll call. Yes, Dad. Okay, Dad - and so on. At some point they all start laughing at the ridiculousness of it all but suddenly Dick is getting choked up. His two little birds are leaving the nest and he should be handling it better than he does. Seeing him clearlyon the edge of falling apart Gar and Rachel give him a tight hug. "I'm sorry." he says. "I'm just trying to let you go a little. Let you grow up." "It's that hard?" Rachel asks him and he looks at her - tall, beautiful, confident, brave and smart. Perfect. But he also still sees that little kid he met in Detroit. "It can't be that hard." Gar adds and for a moment when Dick looks at him he thinks he's seeing double - the young, handsome and courageous man who is standing in front of him now and that overexcited cheerful kid who joined them on their little road trip. "It's impossible." Dick tells them, pulling them back into another hug. "It's fucking impossible." Soon they have to go or they will be late for their classes and Dick and Kory are left alone on the campus. "They'll be okay." his wife tells him. He has to swallow down a bile in his throat and push back some tears before answering. "I know."

Oh and remember Dick's old silver Porsche? The one he traded for a minivan? Yeah, he got it back (don't ask him how). Rachel owns it now. Graduation present. And don't worry about Gar, he's got his car too. Grandpa Bruce got him his dream ride.

Woah... This turned out WAAAAAAAAAY longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far (and even if you didn't) I hope you enjoyed.

#dc titans #titans #dcu titans #titans season 3 #dick grayson #rachel roth #kory anders #garfield logan #donna troy #titans netflix #titans season 1 #titans season 2

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crdenhart · 4 years

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10 Movies You Should Watch This Halloween 2020

It’s the first full week of October, so Halloween is in full swing! This year, I continue my tradition of recommending some excellent films to watch during the Halloween season but with a COVID-19 twist for many of the movies on this list. Here are the 10 movies you should check out this Halloween:

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

“My family’s always been in meat.”

This movie recently got a 4K remaster making it look even more gruesome than ever! The film feels so real compared many other slasher horror films with the deaths coming out of nowhere and the killings being hyper-realistic. They even used real skeletons for the making of some of the scenes! The sound design also is something so terrifying; you’ll never want to listen to the sound of a chainsaw ever again!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

“Let’s do the Time Warp again”

One of the most fun horror movies of all time celebrates its 45th anniversary this Halloween! I like how the film satirizes the B-movie mad scientist genre and Tim Curry gives a stellar performance as Dr. Frankenfurter. Also the songs are so fun and catchy and will get stuck in your head forever! My favorite songs in the movie are “Science Fiction Double Feature” and “Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul.”

Hausu (1977)

“My fingers are gone!”

“House” is the title in English. This trippy Japanese haunted-house movie is a real treat for the eyes! The film is so mesmerizingly weird with its flashy colors and cartoon-like special effects. Definitely one worth checking out if you are looking to feel terrified and strange at the same time!

The Hunger (1983)

“Forever and ever!”

David Bowie as a vampire... yes please! The makeup and effects are really good in the movie especially in the scenes as Bowie’s vampire character ages rapidly from lack of drinking blood. The film has some creepy sequences, including some intense scenes in which it seems as though Bowie’s vampire is going to claim another victim and a scene in which Susan Sarandon’s character comes across several coffins of vampires. Definitely one of the scariest vampire movies of the last 40 years!

Ghostbusters (1984)

“Who you gonna call?”

We didn’t get the highly-anticipated Ghostbusters: Afterlife this year because of the pandemic, so to tide us over until it comes out, this Halloween would be a good time to revisit the original horror-comedy classic. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and the rest of the cast give some of their most memorable performances in this movie. Growing up I used to watch this and its sequel in the ooze-green boxset that included a couple animated episodes; highly recommend tracking a copy down if you want the best Halloween viewing experience.

The Exorcist III (1990)

“I have dreams… of a rose, and then falling down a long flight of steps.”

This movie might be one of the best horror sequels ever made! George C. Scott gives a fantastic performance in the lead role as do Jason Miller (returning as his role of Father Karris from the original Exorcist) and Brad Dourif as the Gemini Killer. I saw many of the filming locations when I visited DC back in 2015. A majority of the movie takes place in a hospital, which is usually scary enough on its own. There is an especially frightening scene involving a possessed patient and surgical scissors! This year marks its 30th anniversary, so this Halloween would be a good time to check it out if you haven’t seen it in a long time or are a fan of the original and never saw this one (you can actually skip the second one as this film makes no direct references to that movie). There is a director’s cut that was released a few years that provides some good deleted scenes and extra dialogue, though overall I prefer the theatrical cut.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

“Michael Myers is my business!”

This 6th entry in the Halloween series celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. Lots of fans consider this the “worst” of the Halloween movies, but I find lots of good merits in the film, especially the producer’s cut released 2014 which features several extended and alternate scenes. I really like the Halloween (holiday) scenery of the film making it feel like it really takes place on October 31st unlike most of the series particularly in the scenes taking place at the Halloween carnival (the “red rain” scene being a highlight). The cinematography and suspense also are superior compared to many of the sequels, probably the closest the series has ever come to capture the style of the first two films. I also like how the film explores the mystery of Michael Myers more so than the other ones giving him a reason for his killing nature other than he is just “evil.” This movie is the last time Michael Myers is actually scary and not just a “killing machine” or some dummy for Busta Rhymes to kong-fu fight (ie Halloween: Resurrection). This also marked the final appearance of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Sam Loomis as he died in real life shortly after filming his scenes. Definitely check out the producer’s cut if you have never seen the film or you have only seen the theatrical cut as it makes it one of the best Halloween films.

Goosebumps: “The Haunted Mask II” (1996)

“That’s no mask! That’s your face!”

Everyone is wearing masks these days, so what a fitting episode of Goosebumps to watch this Halloween! This is one of my favorite episodes along with the first one from 1995 (which was on my 2018 Halloween watch list). The scenes set in the basement of the costume shop are so creepy; something about abandoned places, especially in the dark, have always frightfully fascinated me. I used to watch the VHS of this movie every Halloween at my grandparents’ house and always hope they would do a 3rd one. Maybe someday!

Cabin Fever (2002)

“I don’t want any of us getting sick!”

Everyone is worried about coronavirus right now, so this Halloween would be the ideal time to check out this slasher in which a deadly virus is the killer. Really creepy shots of people getting infected and dying from the virus; the movie will make you a germaphobe! Interesting note that David Lynch was originally going to produce the movie but backed out during production, however Lynch’s frequent composer Angelo Badalamenti provides some of the music for the film.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

“We’re all dying. The world’s just one big hospice with fresh air.”

This sequel to The Shining was released last November nearly 40 years after the original, but it was well worth the wait! The film visually maintains the same style and tone of Kubrick’s original film while expanding upon some of its themes but without giving too much information as to ruin the mysteries surrounding the original. Like some of the other films on this list, there is a director’s cut which fleshes out scenes and characters; highly recommend it!

As a Halloween treat, here is a shot from my new spiritual horror film Sister, which should be released sometime this coming year! Happy Halloween everyone!

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jadeile-writes · 3 years

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Fanfic Progress Update 120

Warm summer greetings, my dear readers. Stay tuned for a spoilery glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini at the end of the post.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 52 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 26th of May. Chapter 53 is half done, and the scheduled posting date is 23rd of June.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays, except when I don’t manage to and move it by a week. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three (or four) weeks’ waiting period.

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe as “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 28 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 27th of November. Chapter 29 is technically written now, but I wasn’t completely happy with it after I was finally done, so I can’t actually quite label it as finished yet. It’s almost there tho. The scheduled posting date is Some Friday, and there will be a sneak-peek on the Previous Thursday. I want to write chapter 30 as well before posting this one, so hang on. Also, those two will be the last chapters, and then the fic will be officially finished. No progress.

Note to new people who might be looking at this: I’m not taking prompts anymore.

—–

I wrote a bit of something, but I don’t want to get people’s hopes up too high at this point, so I’ll just leave this little mystery note here for now and see if the thing goes anywhere before giving any real info. No progress this week either, so probably going nowhere; I’ll remove this note next week.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

A bunch of Hazbin oneshots and chapter fics, some started, some just on the idea phase. There’s… there’s a lot…

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into Adventure gone Mini (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

Pro: they had all the equipment they needed thanks to the Super Secret Korok Shop. Said equipment was high quality too.

Con: getting Sidon to walk forward now that he could temporarily see the Koroks was like getting past a Guardian unnoticed – that is, very difficult to accomplish.

—–

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3 My FFnet My Ko-fi Radiohusk Discord Group invitation

#Fanfic progress update

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satans-helper · 5 years

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Amphitrite

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x (F) Reader

Word Count: 1253

Warnings: none; I’m still yearning.

Requested by a very sweet anon <3 thank you. I don’t think I ever really need to say that Josh fluff if my weakness.

---

As soon as Josh told you his betta fish had died, you grabbed your wallet and your keys and hopped in the car, ready to go get him everything you thought might comfort him. Sure, to many people a fish dying wouldn’t be an event to get so depressed about--let alone have an entire day of mourning--but Josh had that fish for years, for so long you were amazed it had actually died at all. You really thought he might have given it some sort of immortality with the way he talked to it, fed it “special” food, and gave it a nice space with enriching little castles and rocks and plants.

Horrified for a moment, you wondered if Josh had been able to flush the poor fish down the toilet yet. You certainly didn’t want to do that, but you would if you had to.

“Baby, where are you?” you called as you walked into Josh’s place, the door unlocked either for you benefit or because he simply forgot amidst his mourning.

“Bedroom,” Josh called back, sounding more despondent than you’d ever heard him before.

You grabbed the special chocolate you knew he liked--the fancy dark chocolate with chili--from the grocery bag as well as the bag of Milanos and bottle of chocolate milk. Not that eating was the healthiest way of coping but food seemed to work well for Josh when he was upset.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at the fish tank. You followed his eyes and saw that the blue betta fish was still there, floating, and you stopped yourself from emitting a noise of disgust. Instead you went to Josh and ruffled your hand through his hair as you placed the gifts next to him.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you said softly.

He rested his head against your waist, wrapping his arm around you. “It’s okay, Y/N. I knew she was gonna go someday.”

Josh’s love for all creatures was something you admired and adored so much. He was so absolutely full of love and seeing him sad made you sad; you would do anything to make him feel better, including flush the fish if needed.

“Do you need me to, uh, take care of her?” you asked, softly again, not wanting to make Josh more upset.

He quickly looked up at you. “I want to bury her.”

Bury...a fish. You nodded--anything for Josh. “Okay,” you said. “Got a little box for her?”

Josh got up and went to his dresser. He took small wooden box from on top and opened

it, taking out some jewelry. “I made this in woodshop in high school,” he told you. “I don’t really need it. And at least it’s biodegradable.”

After his fish was scooped up and placed in the box, you both went outside. Josh dug a small hole in a patch of dirt next to some violets with a spoon (“I never thought I’d need a shovel” he said), his brow furrowed the entire time, and placed the box inside the hole, scooping the dirt back over it and patting it.

“Rest in peace, Amphitrite,” he said, placing his hand over his heart with a sigh. “You surpassed all expectations. I hope you find a nice, new home in the sea.”

“Freshwater, right?” you asked, nudging his arm.

Josh laughed a little. “Ah, right. Wherever, Amphitrite. You were good company.”

You knelt down and plucked some violets to place on the little mound of dirt. “Bye, Amphitrite.”

Back inside, Josh finally noticed the different chocolate goods on his bed. “Oh, you’re so sweet,” he said, opening the chocolate milk and taking a sip. He was already getting more color back in his cheeks. “You really know what makes me feel better.”

You sat down next to him. “I’m sorry, Josh. She was cute, really.”

He nodded. “She was. I’m sorry, though, I know she’s just a fish--”

“No, don’t be. I love the fact that she’s so important to you,” you replied, running your fingers through his hair. “I don’t love that you’re sad, but--you feel so much, Josh. I love that about you.”

He smiled at you, a little mustache of chocolate milk on his upper lip. “I love you being here.”

You tilted his chin up with your fingers and kissed him. “I’m happy to be here,” you assured him, licking your lips. “I’d do anything for you.”

“Can you do me a favor?” he asked, looking at you all puppy-eyed.

You kissed his forehead. “Anything, baby.”

“Can you put on some music? Anything you want.”

You smiled--you loved him so much. “Absolutely,” you said and got up, going over to Josh’s collection of vinyls and skimming your fingers over them. You chose one you knew Josh loved, one that might be of even more comfort to him, and put it on before getting back on the bed.

I've been lately thinking

About my life's time

All the things I've done

And how it's been

And I can't help believing

In my own mind

I know I'm gonna hate to see it end

He gave you a look, his eyes big and soft and lips pouted a little, and you knew exactly what he needed then. You got on your side and Josh joined you, sighing as you wrapped your arms around him and pressed yourself against his backside, nuzzling the back of his neck.

“This is a good album,” he said, reaching his hand back and stroking your hair. “You always know.”

“I try,” you replied and smoothed your hands over his chest. “You’re so lovely, Josh. So kind and lovely.”

He kissed your hand. “I try, Y/N.”

You rested your chin on his shoulder. “Need anything else?”

Josh hummed and sat up, reaching down the bed for the bag of Milanos. You sat up too and moved back against the pillows to prop yourself up, spreading your legs, and Josh sat back against you. You closed your legs around him and he rested his head back on your chest.

“Want one?” he asked you, tearing open the bag.

“Sure,” you answered and he held one up, which you took in your teeth, making him giggle.

Josh settled back into you, stroking your leg as he chewed. “Thanks for coming over. You’re fantastic.”

You kissed the top of his head. “Are you gonna get another fish?”

“Maybe. Probably,” he answered, biting into another Milano. “Would you look for one with me?”

You traced your fingertip down the curve of his ear. “Yeah, definitely. Another betta?”

“I think the fish just has to come to me, you know?” Josh explained. He was talking with his hands again--a good sign. “There has to be that connection.”

You stifled a giggle. “That makes sense. Well, we can definitely look, whenever you’re ready.”

Josh turned to you, excitement suddenly beaming across his face. “Would you get a fish with me? They could live together here.”

You couldn’t hold back the little laugh then. “That might be cute.”

Josh gently coerced you down and kissed you. “I think it’d be wonderful,” he said, then nuzzled back against your chest. “Superb.”

You wrapped your arms over his chest and squeezed him a little, more than content to have him cradled in your arms and John Denver playing around you after such a trying day for him. You would bet that if there was an afterlife for fish, Amphitrite was having the time of her life.

---

Tagging: @jeordinevankiszka @mountainofthesunn @bigthighsandstupidguys @camomillacatalina @saywecanart @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade

#hold me please #i am weak #i love fluffy josh #josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #greta van fleet #greta van fan fiction #josh gvf #gvf fic #josh fic #anon request

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underthemoon-and-stars · 5 years

Text

Art Brought Us Together- Preserum Steve X Reader

This is a lil present for Steve’s Birthday so!!! Happy Birthday you cutie!!! -Selenophile

He was an artist.

was

Now he’s fights in Germany, dancing along to death’s ballet with unskilled HYDRA soldiers. He’s become the American Dream for so many back on the home front. He’s the star-spangled man with a plan, advertising war bonds - a term he probably never understood, since after all he dropped out of high school - to inspire nationalism among the population.

Steven Grant Rogers was the one, the only, Captain America.

At one point, though, he was an ordinary everyday artist. Attending painting class every Monday. Sketch every Tuesday. Perspective on Wednesday, etc etc. Missing his train by 5 minutes due to his disorganization. Always having at least 1 or 2 blotches of crimson decorating his skin or white collared shirt.

Sickeningly skinny. Asthma ridden windpipe. Blistered knuckles. Beautiful baby blue eyes that told a million stories his mouth couldn’t.

That was the Steven Grant Rogers you knew. That’s the Steve you fell in love with.

Both of you met in an advance art class in the center of Brooklyn. You were drawing out the basic shapes of the fruit bowl when he stumbled into his chair. Your eyes couldn’t help but dart over to the young man. You heard his heavy-as-a-ton gasps of air, you watched the gross salty beads of sweat drip down his brow. What caused the struggle? He was 15 minutes late to the first class. Missed his train by 3 minutes ( which later wouldn’t surprise you as much ). His small hands swiveled down into his bag and-

Nothing was in there.

You had to help him out at this point.

“Here” You spoke up softly, sliding a piece of sketch paper his way. “just take some of my paper”

His head gently turned towards you, the redness of his cheeks resembling a perfect cherry tomato. Not only was he embarrassed he left all his stuff at home, you were just simply gorgeous. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty voice.

Overwhelmed, he took the paper rather slowly. His thank you came rather slow too. With a nod of your head, he turned away and started to work.

You didn’t think much of him after that. The skinny little boy who sat next to you in art and occasionally needed paper was just that. Of course, you thought he was adorable, but just not your type. The disorganized life he lead just wasn’t for you.

That thought all changed though.

It was late at night, at least two months into the corse when your changed your mind on the boy.

You braved the streets of Brooklyn, hoping for a smooth night. You didn’t not receive that. Cat-Calling lead to name calling which lead to you being followed. You had so many fears in your mind. Were you going to be attacked? Robbed? Worsening thoughts came to your mind as you found yourself running away from two big men behind you. Alleyway was a dead end. You mumbled your last goodbyes, blew a kiss up to your parents, and prayed you’ve been good enough for the afterlife.

Until you heard him

“Leave her alone!! She’s done nothing to deserve whatever you plan on doing to her!”

It was the kid who sat next to you in art. Small, skinny and ready to fight.

The two men laughed real hard.

“And what are you going to do about it?” One of them bruted.

Blinking was such a bad thing to do. One minute the men where approaching the little man, the next both of them were holding their jaws and you were being ran out of the alley.

The boy’s asthma catched up with him though, and they were blocks away from your apartment. Luckily, you were close to his. That’s were you hid for the night.

He placed you down on an old ottoman, fetching you a glass of somewhat cool water.

The first thing he asked you was: “are you hurt?”

You shook your head no in response. Weakly taking sips of your drink, you saw his sigh of relief.

“Thank god your-“

You can’t help but interrupt him “No no, thank you. Without you I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. I don’t ever wanna find out what would happen to me.”

Heat returned to his cheeks, just like they did on the first day you two met.

“Ah shucks, it was my pleasure”

The room went silent before you finally learned your hero’s name.

“Oh, I’m Steven Grant Rogers. Steve is just fine though. And You are?”

“Y/N”

“It’s a pleasure to finally know you Y/N”

From there on out, it was smooth sailing between you two.

He wouldn’t let you walk home alone anymore. Some nights it was you and him, sometimes his friend Bucky tagged along. Either way, you two wouldn’t shut up about art and books and yourselves until you arrived home safely.

One night, while the sun hung real low in the sky and the moon was waiting for its chance to shoot into the atsmosphere, he asked you a question.

“Can I take you out somewhere, someday pretty girl?”

Your smile widen. “You may Steve”.

That first date became the best date of your life. He set up a nice picnic in the park. You two laid on the comforting green grass for hours. You just enjoyed being with him, and he was enfatuated with the ideas of seeing and being with you.

That night you slipped you fingers together. It was a perfect puzzle. Interlocking them wasn’t painful, nor uncomfortable. Your hands just fit so well together.

It was destiny.

You two continued going on dates after that. Movie dates, Dinner dates, Park dates, Art Dates. One day he took you into New York City just so you could say you’ve been. After each date you became more intimate with him.

On the first date you held hands, the second date you held each other in a big hug. The third date you spooned his cute little body snug into your chest. Forth included waist holding, Fifth included arm clinging. It wasn’t till the ninth date when he kissed your cheek, prompting you on the tenth to kiss his plush, pink lips for the first time.

It was magic the way you two kissed. You felt your stomach flip, he boticed fireworks exploding in his heart. His hands made their way to their rightful places on your cheeks. Gentle thumbs rubbed the soft skin you beheld. Now, your hands met his hips, where rubbing the bone made him giggle and blush more. Both lips danced together in a rhythmic motion. It reminded you of your hands: perfectly interlocked.

He moved into your place a month later. You cuddled every single night, anyways switching positions time to time. Little did you know he was moving back out a month later.

“War...stevie, your joking....”

“I need to play my part, Y/N. People need my help...”

“You act as if your the only man out of that battlefield...”

Tears spill out of your eyes. His little arms wrapped around you. Steve was such a sweetheart and you were about to loose him to war. You wish you could stop him, but you knew that was impossible. That big heart of his didn’t stop him back in the day, it won’t stop him now.

“Fine...but I want you to give me the best night of my life before you go, do you understand me?”

“Always”

And so, that night finally came around. Bucky left a long time ago. He had no choice as he was drafted. But Steve. Steve was to leave for a Jersey training camp at 6 am. He could stay. They could kick him out for all his physical ailments. They wouldn’t though. He’s already gotten this far on lies.

He sits next to you on the bed. Your body immediately collapses into his

“Don’t leave stevie...I need you here with me”

“Y/N, you know I’ll return to you”

“And if you don’t?”

Steve laughed a bit before he said “then you can fetch me out of my grave and kill me again for hurting such a beautiful girl like you, my wife”

You pause, allowing your head to tilt off to the side. “Wife?”

Steve slides a golden band on your finger. “Wife. I’m going to marry you after the war, if you allow me to that is”

You sit up, raindrops falling from your cloudly eyes. You never nodded so hard in your life.

He keeps his promise too. He gives you the best night of your life. You honestly couldn’t believe he had such talent in him.

“Congratulations Stevie, you have taken away my virginity” you say between your pants.

“Mine as well, Y/N”

You wake up to an empty bed. Well, not completely empty. There’s a note that reads “I love you more then I ever loved anyone else. I’ll see you before you know it”

Before you know it was 80 years later. At 97 years old, your son, Steve, places you in an elderly home. He visits you at least once a week. This day, though, it wasn’t your son Steve visiting you. It was a past husband of yours.

“Y/N....my name is St-“

“What took you so long? I was starting to think I had to beat your ass in heaven. “

He laughed weakly, your hands interlocking perfectly. Just like they did back then.

“I love you Y/N....my wife”

“And I love you Steve....my husband”

Send all suggestions to the inbox! 💌

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #preserum steve #preserum steve rogers x reader #captain america #preserum steve rogers #marvel imagine #steve rogers imagine #preserum steve imagine #steve rogers one shot #preserum steve one shot #marvel one shot #marvel #mcu #chris evans

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zimerstellar · 5 years

Text

[ @zimerstellar @little-justice @queen-of-lazuroth ]

Zim sighed. He had not expected his mate deciding to be with a couple who had children to be so nerve-wracking. Currently Dib was tucking in Fox ( who apparently was the son of alternate versions of himself and Dib, and another victim of Dwicky’s collider), while Dek attempted to sooth a rather fussy Drun to sleep. He’d been like that quite a bit. Just as Ada had been quiet and Fox had been clingy. Ever since...what happened…

Zim couldn’t say he blamed them…

“Alright,” Zim said uncertainly, leading Ada to her room. He watched the small girl climb into her bed, “so now I tuck you in, yes?”

Ada shrugged. “You don’t have to. I’m a big girl, you know?”

Zim tried not to laugh at that statement. Fox was several years older than her and even he had wanted to be tucked in. “Don’t be silly, kismek. Zim insists.” He can over and pulled the comforter up to Ada’s shoulders before patting them. “How’s that?”

Ada stared at him for a moment before the tiniest smile broke out on her face. “It’s a little loose.”

“Eh? What, do you want to be wrapped up in it, or something?” Zim asked. “Am I supposed to turn you into an Ada burrito?”

Ada giggled. It was the first time Zim had ever heard the sound. It did something to his insides that was unfamiliar. He didn’t dislike the feeling, though. “No, silly. You have gotta really tuck it over my shoulders.” She pulled the comforter up and wiggled a bit until only her head was sticking out. “Like this!”

Zim rose a brow, getting an idea. He tried to keep his face as straight as possible before pulling the blanket up and putting it over the little girl’s face. “Like that?”

“No, Mr. Zim!” Ada squealed, flailing a bit until the cover was off her face. It was the first time since meeting the little girl that her face looked so bright. Zim suddenly decided he would do everything in his power to make sure it stayed that way.

Then, Ada’s face fell, and her gaze wandered off to the side. “Can I ask you a question, Mr. Zim?”

Zim nodded. “Of course you can, kismek.”

Ada shuffled a bit, her brow furrowing. “What do you think the afterlife is like?”

Zim was taken aback by the question. He figured perhaps it was to be expected. The little one had lost a large chunk of her family, after all. “Zim isn’t sure. But, I would hope it’s far better than anything we have here.”

Ada nodded. “I just...I hope they’re okay. Wherever they are.”

Tentatively, Zim reached over and brushed Ada’s bangs from her face. She refused to let anyone cut it at the moment. She wanted to grow it out like Addie and her mother. “You are a very kind smeet, Ada.”

Ada’s tiny smile returned. “Thank you, Mr. Zim. You’re really nice, too.”

“Nonsense. Zim is a fierce Invader and you’ll do well to remember that.”

Ada giggled again, her little nose wrinkling. She was a very cute little thing. All the children the Denivars had were.

“Mr. Zim? I have another question.”

Zim nodded. “Go for it, kismek.”

“Are you and Dib-Dab gonna marry my Mama and Daddy?”

Zim’s face heated up immediately. He was certain he had to look completely bright pink. “I...That is an odd question, Ada. I mean...I’m sure your parents would love to marry Dib someday, but I am not sure they have those same feelings for me.”

“Oh they do!” Ada said brightly. “I know Daddy does for sure. I’ve seen him bring you snacks sometimes and he touches you a lot.”

“Most of the time the touching is to get Zim to be quiet, kismek,” Zim told her with a chuckle. Not that it worked, though.

“Nah. If he wanted you to be quiet he would just tell you. That’s what he does to some of Team Nebula sometimes. And my Mama likes you, too. I heard her talking about how she like your hips the other day.”

Zim’s face felt like it was on fire at this point. “That’s...I don’t think that’s the same thing, Ada.”

“Of course it is. Honestly, grown ups are so silly about these things. You should’ve seen Addie, Chance and Iris. Geez, they were stupid-”

“Alright, my little motormouth,” said Midge voice from behind Zim. The Lazurothian entered the room, readjusting the blanket around Ada. “Are you giving Zimmy a hard time?”

“Nuh uh, Mama,” Ada said. “I was just asking him questions.”

“You’re a sneak, is what you are,” Midge told her, tapping her nose and leaning down to kiss the little girl’s forehead. “You get it from your father.”

“That’s not what Daddy says.”

Midge laughed. “Of course it’s not.” She got up from the bed and reached over to turn on Ada’s nightlight before heading for the door. “Get some sleep, baby girl.”

“Goodnight, Mama. Goodnight, Zimmy!”

Zim was startled by the new nickname, but it also made his spooch soar with happiness. “Goodnight, kismek.”

Once they were out of the room and on their way to their own. Midge giggled. “She’s a handful, huh?”

Zim snorted. “It shouldn’t come as a surprise, considering who her other version is.” He still didn’t quite understand that, but he’d also given up trying to. Perhaps Ada wouldn’t turn out exactly like Addie, but Zim would be very surprised if there weren’t some similarities. “You are rather late.”

“I stopped by to visit my brother,” she explained. “Not Sigi. I have a brother that has ice powers like mine that lives about a block away from here. I...I needed the visit.”

Zim nodded. “It’s natural to cling to what you have left after you’ve lost so much.”

Midge rose a brow. “Those are some wise words.”

“Zim is a wise person.”

“Heh. I guess so,” she replied. “Why did you ask, anyway? Worried about me?”

Zim didn’t miss the teasing tone. “You are the matriarch of this house and you are pregnant with two smeets. It is natural to worry, regardless of what other powers and talents you possess.” Then he smirked, turning to her fully. “Though, it was nice to have such an interesting conversation with your daughter. She says you like my hips.”

Midge froze, hints of blue blooming across her cheeks. “What’s your point?”

Zim took a step forward, leaning in very close to Midge’s face. “Anything else you’d like to say you find desirable about Zim?”

Midge’s blush increased exponentially as she looked at Zim. Her hearts were all jumping like crazy as he practically stared her down. She probably could make a very long list of all the things desirable about Zim, including the scene she just walked in on with her daughter.

However, if there was one thing the past week had taught her, it was that life was too short and that would take way too long. So instead she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Zim was stunned. It had literally only lasted a second, but even so he couldn’t seem to regain composure for a long time. He had not expected Midge to do that.

“Not fun when the tables are turned on you, huh?” she teased. She was still blushing, and she sincerely hoped that that was okay.

Midge’s words helped him regain his composure, his smirk returning perhaps more powerful than before. In a smooth movement he cupped Midge’s face in his hands and gave her a kiss in return, this one firmer and more lingering.

“I suppose not,” he told her softly as he pulled away.

Midge was shocked at the action before she broke out into giddy giggles. “Fine. You win this round.”

“Zim always wins,” Zim said as they continued on their way back to their bedroom.

“Yeah, yeah,” Midge replied. “By the way, Ada’s is right about Dek having feelings for you. I think he’s just...hesitant.”

Zim frowned. “Explain.”

“Well, his brother was a Zim. And, well...maybe it’s just hard for him to differentiate.”

“Zim is not that short.” He’d seen pictures. Glitter Zim had been quite small.

“That’s not the point. The point is you might have to...tone down your own tsundere to get him to realize what he’s feeling. Be a little more...blatant about it.”

“Zim is no tsundere!”

Midge sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought. “Never mind. Let’s just go to bed,” she said, dragging the Irken down the hall to their room.

Zim continued to scowl but made no other arguments, no matter how tempting it was. Mostly because he couldn’t help but see what Midge was getting at. He’d been trying to be subtle due to the family’s grief, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.

But maybe, as long as he was careful, turning things up a notch wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

#✨ the stellars ✨

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littlemisssquiggles · 6 years

Text

RWBY Remarks: And the day is saved thanks to Oscar Pine.

miggy97 asked “ Just had a scary thought: what if when they find the plane, Oscar is mortally wounded, and when Jaune tries to use his semblance to heal him, he realizes his aura is still completely depleted after taking the full brunt of the mech??? Queue Oscar temporarily dying and then meeting the God of Light. Probably not gonna happen but I can dream, can’t I? 😂 ”

miraculouscorazone asked “ So, you think Oscar flew out of the airship, unconscious, before Maria possibly crash landed it? Honestly, a few RoseGardeners, including myself, really wanna see Ruby use her semblance to save Oscar; whether it’d be saving him or for a new team attack (though, now, more likely the former, rather than the ladder)”

Squiggles Answers:

Righto. Whelp I think it’s official to say that V6 C11 has dispelled my theories of the Fire and Ice-cream duo showing up in Argus to challenge our titular Rosebuds for a rematch. At least for this volume. There is still hope for the Atlas Arc. I’m not letting go of these theories just yet.

I’m actually happy with this development because if I’m correct in Oscar dying while trying to protect Ruby and achieving immortality through an unexpected encounter with the God of Light then imagine how much more powerful that moment would be if it’s done in a future season when Ruby and Oscar’s relationship has blossomed further to the point where mutual romantic interest starts to form. So for now, I’m going to stick a pin in this theory of mine for the time being.

Building off of what you guys presented here, I’m going to present to you two new possibilities for how the next episode---V6 C12 can go:

Possibility 1

Looking back on C11, I noticed that the airship doors were actually opened on both sides of the ship. How convenient. I say so in support of Cora’s hunch about Oscar falling out of the ship and Ruby using her semblance to save him. What if…as the missile went off and Maria is doing her best to pilot it from completely crashing, Oscar ends up stumbling background and right out the conveniently opened left-side compartment door to the airship.

As Oscar is falling from ship, Ruby who is also conveniently positioned hanging from the cliff side, spots Oscar’s descent and thinking quickly, Ruby uses Crescent Rose to one-shot propel herself into the air with enough momentum to spiral herself into her semblance catching Oscar before he can hit the water.

While Ruby saves Oscar, Weiss sees to it that Maria safely lands the ship by using her gravity glyphs on the airship to slow down its descent and soften the crash. We actually saw Weiss make use of this technique twice before.

Last volume when she used her gravity glyphs to soften the crash with the Atlesian pilot and in this volume’s first episode with the Argus Limited crash. So I can definitely see Weiss aiding Maria in landing the Atlesian ship before her and JNR go to make sure that Maria and the ship are in one piece after landing in the forests not too far from the cliffs.

The reason why I wouldn’t mind if Ruby used her semblance to save Oscar in this instance is a) obvious Rosegardening Rosebuds moment and b) Oscar’s mention of figuring out something regarding Cordo’s mechazord. I feel like Oscar needs to be conscious for the next episode otherwise how else is he going to be helpful in helping everyone stop Cordo?

A part of me actually would love it if Oscar’s plan involves actually going inside of the Atlesian Mechazord; that way Ruby and Oscar can aid everyone from within while the others help from the outside. I don’t know what it is that Oscar figured out about Cordo but I’d actually love it if somehow, someway; the Rosebuds end up inside the Mechazord and work towards finding a way to stop it from the inside while keeping in close communication with the others on the outside.

A part of me really just wants an entire episode dedicated to Ruby and Oscar just working together to help thwart Cordo who is practically maniacal at this point. If Ruby catches Oscar from falling then she’d need a good place to land where the two can be safe. It’d be interesting if of all the places Ruby could land it’s right on top one of the ice platforms Weiss conjured which in the end Oscar says is perfect since he will need Ruby’s help to get him inside Cordo’s mechazord.

Since attacking it from the inside failed then their next best bet is to go inside, right? Again, I just want an entire episode dedicated to the Rosebuds working together to thwart Cordo while the others hold down the fort and work to repair the airship from the outside before they can fly back in to help them.

Weiss and Jaune will both need time to cool down and recharge their auras because they both seemed the most battered by this battle.

One thing I don’t understand about this fight is why they didn’t just have Jaune amplify Weiss’ aura levels so that she can summon her Armor Gigas? I mean, as indicated in V5, the Armor Gigas can change its size so… why not have Weiss just summon her Gigas and make it grow to the size worthy of taking down the Mechazord?

If she needs more aura to achieve such a feat then there is Jaune to give that extra firepower. It’s just an obvious strategy option I wondered about during this episode y’know. Who knows? We might still see it. But for now, I’m just gonna hang on to the point of Oscar surviving the crash through Ruby’s help and the two working together on their own to stop Cordo from the belly of the beast.

Will this happen? I really dunno but I’m leaving it open as a possibility.

Possibility 2

Whelp, this is one I’ve been singing since C11 ended. What if…the plane crashes but not too badly since Weiss was able to assist with her gravity glyphs. But although Maria makes it out alive and well, Oscar on the other hand isn’t so hot. During the crash Oscar either gets knocked unconscious or seriously injured, putting him at death’s doorstep in the Realm between Realms while in the real world, the others do their best to resuscitate him.

From there, Oscar has his full episode of focus with reuniting with Ozpin. Maybe even Pyrhha will be there for Oscar to have his encounter with her and for Oscar to help Pyrhha to move onto the afterlife by informing her of what happened to her friends and former JNR teammates or something like that.

If this happens, a part of me would actually love a nod to Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood when Ed found Al’s body in purgatory and promised him he’d bring him back some day. I think it could be interesting if Oscar and Ozpin’s reunion ends on a sour note where Ozpin is trapped in the Realm between Realms and try as he might, Oscar can’t get him back because he doesn’t want to come back or whatever. So Oscar makes a promise to Ozpin, like Edward did to Al that he’ll bring him back someday. Just…wait for him.

From there, Oscar wakes back up in the real world and returns to helping the others---awakening the Oz-cane. I don’t expect an Oscar semblance reveal but I do wanna see an Oz-cane magic trick along with a badass Oscar battle theme.

I know some fans want to see Ozpin and maybe see him come back by the end of this season but…personally I don’t. I feel like Ozpin’s isolation holds more meaning to it. I actually want the Merge to be prolonged until the Atlas Arc just so that we can have more time with the story developing Oscar as his own character outside of Ozpin.

I’m not sure if I wish to hope for this to be the case in the event that my expectations might be crushed. It’s just something I would’ve liked to see done. Since Oscar mentioned himself having limited time then I honestly feel like that time should be spent developing him as his own person; seeing him build his own bonds with the other characters all the while giving us audience members more time to get to know more about Oscar.

After 5 seasons and his backstory in this volume, I feel like I already know what I need to know about Ozpin---Ozma. I’m still learning things about Oscar so I’d like more seasons to get to know him as him before the inevitable; y’know what I mean?

Now that I think about it. I actually don’t want Oscar to be out for the duration of C11. I actually wouldn’t mind if he gets knocked out by the end of C12, having his Ozpin reunion for the final episode of the season.

I think it would make a really terrific cliff-hanger for C12 if we actually do get to see Oscar get hurt and put in the Realm between Realms while trying to protect Ruby. Going off of my first possibility, perhaps we’ll get to see Ruby and Oscar fight a crazed Cordo inside her mechazord.

Imagine if…Cordo at some point loses control of her Mechazord and the machinery starts pillaging through Argus heading straight for the Wall which would be destroyed if the group don’t do something to stop it. I actually dig the idea of Ruby and Oscar facing off against Cordo inside the mechazord.

If Ruby and Oscar somehow end up inside the mechazord making their way up to Cordo; imagine if they arrive at the passenger’s cockpit only to find the seat empty and the zord moving on its own on some kind of autopilot. And as Oscar and Ruby check for Cordo, they are suddenly blindsided by the special operative who comes charging at them out of nowhere with a giant weapon.

Perhaps Cordo has a battle axe/magnum gun weapon that she suddenly whips out to make mincemeat out of our Rosebuds, going straight for their heads only for something to happen during the fight. Like perhaps Cordo swings her axe straight into the controls for the Mechazord which short-circuits the machine causing it to go berserk and start moving on its own.

So Ruby, Oscar and Cordo are all trapped inside the Mechazord while the titan-sized bucket of bolts rampages the forests of Argus, reaping nothing but destruction in its walk heading straight for the Wall of Argus. Because if the Wall is destroyed then that will certainly bring forth panic and distress to the People of Argus and a whole population widespread of panic will definitely bring forth the Grimm lurking near the area.

The fact that the Wall of Argus was highlighted in C7 still bothers me along with the fact that Oscar was the one seen in the shot with the Wall. If I had to make an assumption going off that then I’d like to think that if anything were to happen to the Wall, it’d be Oscar who ends up saving the day through the magic of the Oz-cane; somehow

If the Mechazord does go berserk then it’d be interesting if the group actually wind up saving both Argus and Cordo. That and a part of me would also love to see a parallel to this scene between Ozma and Salem with Ruby and Oscar. I don’t care how it’s done I just would love to see it done where at the end of it all, Ruby and Oscar survive the mechazord fight together and just take a moment to catch their breaths before looking at each other and smiling.

Maybe Ruby smiles at Oscar and he looks away kind of blushing. Ruby then asks Oscar “What do we do now?” mimicking Salem in the Lost Fable only for Oscar to outstretch his hand to her; mimicking Ozma saying “Whatever we like.”

Not sure if we’ll get any of what I just theorized but once more, a squiggle meister can dream. I hope this answers you guys @miggy97 and @miraculouscorazone. Let me know your thoughts on my thoughts if possible. In the meantime, that’s my full $2.50.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #ruby rose #rwby rosegarden #rwby theories #rwby rosebuds #rwby remarks #rwby volume 6 spoilers

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red-dead-renegade-blog · 6 years

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OTP Prompt 2- This isn't Happening

Why do I write these fucking depressing things?

The sky was overcast as Tiki loped down the dirt road. It had been almost four months since he’d been to see them and he could already hear Isaac and his never ending questions with Eliza trying to interject to stop asking so many. Isaac didn’t know what he was or what he did, he just knew that his Pa would go away on “business” and be back as soon as he could. He hoped he would never find out. He didn’t deserve to know his father was a notorious outlaw and there was always a high chance he would never see them again.

He shook his head to fight off the idea. He wasn’t going to think about that right now. All that mattered was that he was going to see his family, as Eliza called them over and over again.

“Eventually I’ll get you to see things my way.” She had said with a smirk. She probably would. She always managed to get her way. He respected that about her, it had taken him three tries before she finally agreed to marry him and even then she had made him promise that he wouldn’t give up anything for her, but if he decided he wanted to give up the outlaw lifestyle to let it be for Isaac. Girl was really something else.

He urged the Quarter Horse a bit faster when he could see the farmhouse in the distance. Isaac enjoyed watching the horse slide into the front yard. Although Arthur wasn’t particularly fond of it himself as it hurt a bit but anything to make the kid happy was good enough reason to. As he got closer, he made out something that hadn’t been there before. He blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes, there was no way.

He felt his heart stop when he made it. Two crosses were erected near the tree where the last time he had visited Isaac had read a few sentences to him and spelled out his name almost perfectly. He nearly fell in his haste to dismount. Examining the names, his worst fear had been realized.

“No, no, no.” He muttered under his breath. “Isaac! Eliza!” He ran to the house and flung the front door open.

He gagged when he was greeted with the sight of the living room in a state of disarray with blood stains all over the floor and walls.

He hurried to the door that led to his son’s room. “Isaac?” he asked when he opened it. Toys scattered about the floor as if they had been abandoned in a rush to get out. He stumbled when he headed for Eliza’s room and finally he vomited upon opening the door. Blood was everywhere, including on the bed where ropes were dangling off the side. He could only imagine what they had done to her.

Finally his legs gave was and he dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands, his head jerking in denial. He pounded the floor with his fist, clenching his teeth so hard he thought they would crack.

“GOD DAMN IT!” he screamed as loud as he could. His body began to shake with sobs. “This isn’t happening.” Arthur stated quietly. But it had, it had in the worst possible way. His vision was blurred with tears and he began to stand back up. He walked slowly back outside where Tiki was waiting for him, looking like he knew something was very wrong. Isaac loved riding around with him on Tiki. Always telling him to go faster and asking if he could have him someday.

“I’ll get you your own horse when you get a little bigger.”

“Would Tiki get mad? Think I like the other horse better?”

“Well he’s a very understandin’ horse. Ain’t that right, boah?” He had given him a reassuring pat with Isaac following with a hug around his neck. He would give anything to get Isaac back. And Eliza, Eliza was just as bad.

“You do realize that I actually care about you, right?”

“Don’t understand why.” he had responded. She had replied with a gentle kiss and resting her head on his chest.

“Because you’re a good man, Arthur Morgan and I wish to God you could see what I see.”

“Just what exactly do you see?”

She sat up and smiled. “I see a man who would give his own life to save someone else. I see a man who, though a bit damaged, still can keep things together whenever everything else is falling apart. I see the man who gave me the greatest gift I could ever receive and stuck around to watch him grow up. I hope Isaac turns out to be just like you. Let’s be honest here that you’re more like a giant, stuffed bunny over a grizzly bear. Grrr.” They had shared a laugh over the comparison before the look in her eyes appeared. He knew that look very well. She never had to say it but she loved him with everything she had.

It was then he realized that he loved her too. And he would never get to tell her.

He didn’t remember mounting up and heading into town. He managed to find the undertaker quickly and tried to hide his emotions when he went inside.

“Yes, sir?”

“Hi, um, I was just wonderin’ if you could help me?” He had started to fidget with his hat.

“Of course. What is it you’d like to know?”

“There was a woman and a little boy that lived on the outskirts of town,” He pointed in that direction. “I used to come help ‘em out whenever I’d be this way and I seen where it looks like somethin’ happened up there. You got any idea?”

There was a somber expression on the other man’s face as he nodded his head.

“That poor family. Usually we don’t talk about it but you seem to have a trusting face. It appears they were robbed for only ten dollars or so. Her father found them when he went to visit the next day. Eliza had already been dead and from looking into it that they had…had their way with her before she died. The little boy,”

“Isaac.” Arthur stated.

“Yes, Isaac, was found out in the barn but he was just barely alive. He had only said one word before he passed.”

“What was it?”

“'Papa.’ He was looking for his Papa.”

Arthur bit down on his cheek so hard that he tasted blood. “Thank ya, sir. 'ppreciate it.”

With that, he rode out and never looked back. He never returned to that house, he hoped someone had burned it to the ground but kept the graves in tact. Anytime he tried to go back he stopped and told himself that that was a reminder he didn’t need. That if he went back that he would probably take his gun, put it to his head and pull the trigger. Though that feeling was still strong some days he kept right on going. He didn’t know if there was an afterlife or not but if there was he hoped Eliza and Isaac were happy and watching out for him. That was all he could wish for.

#arthur morgan #eliza morgan #isaac morgan #rdr 2 #red dead redemption ii #rdr 2 fic #rdr 2 fanfiction #i'm such a mess #but they deserved more #elizaxarthur #eliza x arthur #blah blah blaaah

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christianitywithouttheinsanity · 8 years

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For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

– Romans 1:19-20 (ESV)

———–

A new favorite at my house is the Disney movie “Moana”. As with most movies these days the disk included many extras, including behind-the-scenes stories of the people who helped make the film.

I was really impressed by the filmmakers working with the Polynesian people to tell an authentic story in an authentic setting. And while the finished product is a Disney product, complete with cute characters that can be sold as action figures and dolls, the folks in the features seemed very happy with the process and the story.

One thing I did not realize was that there is a character in the movie that, like in other Disney products, is based on someone ‘real’. Or more precisely, someone that many used to – or maybe still do- think is real.

Disney has done it more than once previously. Hercules has been featured, as has King Arthur, Pocahontas (though we know for certain that she was a live person, the movie was her mythical story), Mulan, many versions of Santa Claus…. not to mention many different trips into they religion/mythology of many different people (Brother Bear for example, as well as lots of stories with angels and witchcraft, etc.) But with Moana, the filmmakers wanted to do it with great respect and some authenticity.

Enter Maui. Not the island, but the demi-god the island was allegedly named after. And while other mythological aspects of the film were ‘fictionalized’ (no spoilers), they tried to make Maui as true to his religious/mythical being as one can in a Disney kids’ movie.

In reality, missionaries long ago brought the Gospel to the Polynesian islands and Maui, along with their other gods and demi-gods, has been relegated to children’s stories. Like Hercules, King Arthur, and the Ice Queen.

And this brings me to the point of this blog post. A question that has been around since Biblical times and many folks smarter than I have tried to answer: What happens to those who have never heard the gospel?

I used to be a big fan of missionaries. I had a great friend working in Colombia, a former preacher at our church was in Brazil, I was the chairperson of the Missions committee at our church for a long time….. but then something changed.

I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s enough to say that the whole “business’ of missions really got to me. At one point someone seriously asked: “are we saving enough souls per dollar?” Like we were buying people into heaven and we better shop around to make sure we’re getting the best bang for our missions bucks.

Since then I’ve often thought “what if we just ‘didn’t’?” What if we didn’t send people to China or Ireland or Uganda or the Polynesian islands?

Paul gave an answer – though I believe it’s out of context when it comes to missions – in his letter to the Romans: “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.”

In other words “God made stuff, look around and this proves God”.

Māui Snaring the Sun, pen and ink drawing by Arman Manookian, circa 1927

But if that’s true, then why are there cultures, like the pre-missionary Polynesians, who have ‘different’ gods, like Maui? If looking at creation is all it takes, then why did they look at creation and see a being that created the tides and the wind and pulled the islands from the sea and not the god of Moses, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? Of Jesus and Paul and Peter?

And were they wrong?

And what if the missionaries had never gone out to those islands? What if they still worshiped the gods of nature, the volcano, of the tide and wind?

Would they still be ‘wrong’? Would they be – in a word – ‘damned’?

And if not, have we done them a great disservice by insisting that they do away with their ‘gods’ and follow ‘ours’?

My short answer is “I don’t know” and “that’s for God to decide”.

My long answer – my full opinion, since I don’t honestly feel there is a single answer – is “I hope not”?

Putting aside the whole dilemma of “are we saving the most souls for our buck”, I really wonder…

There are some really great, colorful stories that we now call ‘mythology’. In fact, I would argue that the three major religions of our modern world, the so-called “Abrahamic faiths” of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, are downright packed with a ton of their own mythology (and I do mean ‘myth’ – but we’ll discuss literalism and the insanity of it at another time.) It’s through myth that we make sense of our world, it’s how we wrap our brains around bigger things that we cannot understand. Even in our modern age with our scientific methods and ways of actually knowing how things work, myth still helps us know the stories of people and animals and cultures long gone.

But in Christianity, with our ‘policy’ of sharing the Gospel and ‘forcing’ out whatever religion was there before, I have to wonder if we’ve done more harm than good. Not because we’ve shared the Gospel, but because in doing so we’ve insisted that the stories of other faiths have been crushed, destroyed, and forgotten.

My own lineage is complex and varied. I am the product of the Great American Melting Pot. My family is German, Irish, British. We’ve traced our family line on one branch to the Morman migration, and being one of those that dropped out and settled in what is now the American Great Plains. On another branch they came over shortly after the Mayflower and became heroes in the Revolutionary war, the Civil War, and on through American history.

But my surname, that’s Danish. Old Danish. That branch of my family tree, they were Vikings and farmers and explorers. They told stories of Odin and Thor (not the comic book versions) and great wars and hope for a home in Valhalla in the afterlife, spirits in trees and water and even stone. Those ancestors of mine, I want to be able to understand them. Maybe even someday I might meet them in Heaven (which starts a whole other discussion, again, for another time) and I want to talk to them about the things that were such a huge part of their lives. To do that, those old religions, what we now call myth, should be protected and honored. Shouldn’t they?

What do you think? Discuss in the comments.

#IFTTT #WordPress

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kindergarchy · 8 years

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Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion

It was a balmy weekday night and the two of us were sitting by the rooftop pool. We talked about death, about Singapore, where to go next in life. He said that he does not believe in anything but would like to believe that his grandmother is at some safe place beyond this planet. “It makes it easier,” he stared into the abyss. I do not deny that. Religions, make-beliefs: They make life easier. How could they not? Everything else is fleeting in life. But I still call majority of them a delusion… Something comforting that you cannot prove or disprove. Do I call these beliefs false? No, but it does not make them any truer. I’m simply not ruling out any possibilities. I’m just saying I don’t know. My reasoning is simple: To blindly believe despite the absence of evidence (except some inconsistent afterlife stories told by near-death survivors and holy books whose truth value is deemed to be inherent, ie it declares itself to be true that’s why it must be true) seems to me like an insult to human mental faculties. Why don’t I simply reject all religions or Gods proposed by them? Because absence of evidence does not mean evidence of absence. Maybe I’ll drive myself at a different conclusion as I dig deeper. But now I’m saying that I don’t know. Despite this explanation, I’m aware that this confession that simply acknowledges my not knowing would offend some even in this era.

If you can’t move past any discomfort possibly caused by that first paragraph, you can give this book a skip. If you find yourself at the other side of the spectrum, there lies another challenge. A big chunk of the first part of the book is spent on emphasizing the key difference between bogus spirituality and legit aka scientifically-backed spirituality. I think it is a tad overdone but I can understand the necessity. In the world where spirituality gains a difficult reputation in the science and/or atheist communities, there is a need to go an extra mile in order to gain credibility before presenting your arguments and their supporting evidence. And yet despite his effort, many still dismiss Harris’ attempt to illustrate the benefits of keeping in touch with your spirituality.

Not all religions are made equal: this statement makes its echoes at the beginning of the book. It’s not a secret that Sam Harris loathes Abrahamic religions almost equally, but mostly he criticizes the doctrines promoted by them. Many would consider his criticism offensive and loaded with prejudice, but I personally think his assessments are fair practice at gaining a deeper understanding on major religions. Putting all religions under the safe blanket of “all religions necessarily teach the same good things” or making a sweeping generalization like “the religions are peaceful, it’s the people that cause trouble” - I think, is an oversimplification. It seems harmless to make this assumption, but in reality the resulting damage can be significant.

I have long argued that confusion about the unity of religions is an artifact of language. Religion is a term like sports: Some sports are peaceful but spectacularly dangerous (“free solo” rock climbing); some are safer but synonymous with violence (mixed martial arts); and some entail little more risk of injury than standing in the shower (bowling). To speak of sports as a generic activity makes it impossible to discuss what athletes actually do or the physical attributes required to do it. What do all sports have in common apart from breathing? Not much. The term religion is hardly more useful.

The same could be said of spirituality. The esoteric doctrines found within every religious tradition are not all derived from the same insights. Nor are they equally empirical, logical, parsimonious, or wise. They don’t always point to the same underlying reality - and when they do, they don’t do it equally well. Nor are all these teachings equally suited for export beyond the cultures that first conceived them.

Making distinctions of this kind, however, is deeply unfashionable in intellectual circles. In my experience, people do not want to hear that Islam supports violence in a way that Jainism doesn’t, or that Buddhism offers a truly sophisticated, empirical approach to understanding the human mind, whereas Christianity presents an almost perfect impediment to such understanding. In many circles, to make invidious comparisons of this kind is to stand convicted of bigotry.

The common ground between religions, according to him, is that they are “addressing the same reality”. They provide views of “consciousness and the cosmos that is available to the human mind.” But when we look deeper, their paths start to diverge. The main difference is religions’ views on self transcendence: Abrahamic religions are dualistic whereas Eastern ones are not. When you “become one” with God, depending on which school of faith you adhere to, you are either enlightened or bound to be exiled. The idea of self-transcendence is one of the major focuses of the latter part of this book.

This difference has also allowed the author to cherry-pick “useful” elements of Buddhism practices, and honestly I could say that his approach to spirituality is the closest to mine at the moment. I believe that a clarity of mind will have a profound impact on quality of life, and that you can separate spirituality and religion. The former has been repeatedly proven empirically over the years, the latter is more of a personal attempt at having a better shot at well-being in life without the forced “truths” some religions require their true followers to wholly believe in.

He starts out by pointing out that the majority of sources for happiness are impermanent. Either they are impermanent in their existence - relationships fail, money comes and goes, recreational substances wear off - or in the duration of happiness derived from attaining them. People often cite possessions and material beings as major sources of happiness, and yet we know that we all have this human tendency to get bored at the speed of lightning. This is a widely known truth, and it’s discomforting. Spirituality, according to Sam Harris, provides an excellent alternative to attaining a healthier state of mind in the way that: 1) It does not depend on external factors, and hence 2) It is more stable and less fleeting. A comparison with stoicism crossed my mind upon reading this part.

Our minds are all we have. They are all we have ever had. And they are all we can offer others.

Being a neuroscientist, his approach is refreshing in a sense that he seems pretty committed to his venture into the glimpse of self-transcendence - which is often neglected even by those who believe in this experience, including me. He often travels halfway through the world to spend time with the gurus, which has helped his self-transcendence-related practices.

His occupational background means the gurus and their practices (even, as we read further into the book, his fellow scientist) are not exempt from close scrutiny. Being aware that the spirituality world is prone to abuse (the scheme of enlightenment programs that begs you for more and more money as you become closer to reach the final stage of enlightenment is not an alien concept, at least in this part of world that I’m living), Harris does not hesitate to reveal the dark side of enlightenment. He is also constantly critical of the various methods, pointing out the shortfalls and recognizing the fact that there are no perfect gurus or methods, only better ones (spoiler: Dzongchen is one of his favorites). Fortunately, according to him, the impossibility of attaining perfect enlightenment does not translate to futility - we can reap the benefits even just by trying.

Lastly, Harris talks about substance use. He mentions that the use of certain substances, in particular psychedelics, is ethically neutral - I am of the same opinion. He believes that it can show (not tell) you things you otherwise are unable to see/feel/experience, but it can also send you to a bottomless pit of despair. Unprecedented magic vs a full-blown, terror-filled psychosis. Their huge benefits do not mean that everybody should try them:

I have two daughters who will one day take drugs. Of course, I will do everything in my power to see that they choose their drugs wisely, but a life lived entirely without drugs is neither foreseeable nor, I think, desirable. I hope they someday enjoy a morning cup of tea or coffee as much as I do. If they drink alcohol as adults, as they probably will, I will encourage them to do it safely. If they choose to smoke marijuana, I will urge moderation. Tobacco should be shunned, and I will do everything within the bounds of decent parenting to steer them away from it. Needless to say, if I knew that either of my daughters would eventually develop a fondness for methamphetamine or heroin, I might never sleep again. But if they don’t try a psychedelic like psilocybin or LSD at least once in their adult lives, I will wonder whether they had missed one of the most important rites of passage a human being can experience.

I highly recommend the book, I think the topic of spirituality is never an easy one and often emotionally loaded. To glimpse it through the eyes of a rather wise neuroscientist helps make it a detailed and precise introduction to spirituality, detached but not cold. It is not a sin to want to believe in something more than the physical world - but it is better to do it in a way that is further from a comforting illusion. It is true that some negative emotions are often our brain’s way to tell us to solve problems or deal with certain situations, but we can try proceed to go for the solution without being accompanied by the unpleasant reminder. My friend might have to come to terms with his grandmother’s death, but he does not have to trick himself into believing that she is in a safer place now. Sam Harris might say that she simply ceases to be. Call me lazy or cowardly or skeptical or trying to play it safe, but for me it remains unchanged that I simply do not know.

PS: I also recommend this article from Big Think: http://bigthink.com/robby-berman/4-things-you-can-do-to-cheer-up-according-to-neuroscience

#waking up #sam harris #religion #spirituality

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