#I hope he falls in love and I hope it hurts him
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danc3withme · 3 days ago
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nonstop thinking about viktor :c
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viktor headcanons cause i need to talk about how he would be with his partner rn!!
ೃ⁀➷ whenever he's extremely focused on something, or spacing out, he'll play with your hair and twirl it around (HAVE U GUYS SEEN HIM TWIRLING HIS OWN HAIR AROUND HIS FINGER?!??!) it's the cutest thing ever and it relaxes him
ೃ⁀➷ i think he'd be very romantic with his words, his love language is def words of affirmation and acts of service
: ̗̀➛ he'd tell you the most poetic things ever. "the atoms between us.." he pauses to hover his palm on yours, just barely grazing fingertips, "they are warm with my love for you," he finishes, interlocking fingers and doing the same with your other hand.
: ̗̀➛ "i will always love you the same way i know i'll always need oxygen... in every timeline."
ೃ⁀➷ he will sometimes (a lot of the time) get caught up in work and in the lab, but despite how tired he is he'll always make it up to you<3
: ̗̀➛ he likes to plan relaxing movie nights, letting you have the choice of what you two will be watching, and he smiles at your excitement every time
: ̗̀➛ he also loves taking nice baths with you, it's easier on his leg, and it's just 10x more relaxing! he'll wash your hair with gentle hands, run them over your wet, dripping shoulders. you'll wash his hair, and he'll almost fall asleep. his eyes are closed and he's breathing so softly, leaning his head against yours. he also lovesss when you just chat and yap about your day or anything, he loves your voice and how it shifts higher and lower depending on your emotions, and it helps him relax further
ೃ⁀➷ cuddling at night is the best part of his day. he finally gets to unwind and just rest with his loved one. he loves cuddling facing each other, his head on top of yours.
: ̗̀➛ (he drools in his sleep i just know it)
: ̗̀➛ for some reason i see this man sleeping with the thinnest blanket known to mankind and just not caring at all, you have to cover him up with the sheets so he doesn't catch a cold or get sick lolol.
: ̗̀➛ hates having to get up so early in the morning. he wakes up a few minutes early every morning, just so he can admire you, taking in every detail of your face.
: ̗̀➛ gets emotional about it sometimes😭 he'll think too hard, noticing how peaceful you look, and how you were once a kid, and then starts thinking about everything that could've hurt you or starts remembering stories you've told him about getting hurt and he nearly cries on the spot. that's his cue to get up
: ̗̀➛ he never leaves before giving you a kiss on the head, always leaving a freshly picked flower on the bedside table for you! (you have no idea where he finds these)
hope u guys enjoy!!! more coming soon:>
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angellic4l · 2 days ago
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la vita è bella - s.r
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in which; sunshine!bau!reader and season2!spencer see a foreign film together after work.
content: fem!reader and season2!spencer, they’re so in loveee, fluffy fluff, mentions of drinking but no one actually does it, brief mention of spencer’s germaphobia, mention of the holocaust and ww2.
a/n: i wrote this all in one go bc my draft that i’m working on is so not ready, so i apologise if it’s bad. also, la vita é bella means life is beautiful, the Italian name of the film, which is why i called the fic that. WAIT I JUST READ IT AND I NEED TO SAY I DON’T THINK ELLE IS MEAN I LOVE ELLE! anyway, kisses!!
After a pretty rare, uneventful day at the BAU - just hours of paperwork, filing, reports, and a lot of team banter - the team of profilers begin to pack up. Coats are lifted from the backs of chairs, bags slung over shoulders, chairs put under desks, and a chorus of contented sighs coming from the agents.
The team, bar Hotch and Gideon, begin to make their way to the elevator together, walking in a huddle on their way out of work while making light conversation about their plans, considering everyone’s getting out early today.
“I say we all go the bar, a few drinks, maybe some darts, and lots of fine women,” Morgan suggests with a smirk, patting Spencer on the back when he says ‘fine women’.
Elle and JJ laugh, the thought of Spencer trying to talk to ‘fine women’, as Morgan called them, an amusing thought to the two of them.
Spencer, who’s walking in between you and Morgan, pushes his glasses up his nose with his index finger, his face sporting one of his infamous looks you’ve come to know, his brows furrowed as he silently questions Elle and JJ’s laughter.
“Actually, I was going to go and see a foreign film downtown, if any of you want to come. It’s an Italian film, but I can whisper translate, called ‘Life is Beautiful’, which is kind of ironic because it’s about a Jewish man and his son becoming victims of the holocaust, but-“ Spencer’s cut off by a comment from Elle about him being ‘dorky’, his face loses the small smile he’d had while talking about the film, and his once gesturing hands fall to his sides.
You think your heart might’ve actually shattered at the sight, Spencer’s dejected look never becoming easier to see, no matter how many times you do see it. The other three agents agree to go to the bar together while you and Spencer remain silent, walking in step with each other.
“You coming, sunshine?” Morgan asks, looking past Spencer to gaze at your face, Elle and JJ turning their heads slightly to look at you stood behind them, all of you coming to a stop at the elevator doors.
“No, I think I just want to have a quiet night in. I hope you guys have fun, though,” you reject them, a small smile on your face because only you know what you’re actually going to do.
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
All of you step out of the FBI building, JJ, Morgan, and Elle splitting off to head to the bar, Spencer walking through the parking lot and starting his journey to the metro station, while you wait for the other 3 to be gone.
It’s not because you’re embarrassed of Spencer, no, you wouldn’t have cared about offering in front of the others, but you knew he’d probably be teased for it, and that’s the last thing you want. He’s so sweet to everyone, unbelievably kind to you, but everyone teases him regardless. It hurts your heart every time he goes quiet after being told to ‘shut up’ or someone comments on his rambling.
Once you’re sure Morgan, JJ, nor Elle are in earshot, you hurry over to Spencer’s slender figure that’s slowly dissipating, emerging with the dark night sky, becoming nothing but a shadow as he gets further.
“Spence! Wait, come back!” You call out, quickly realising his long limbs are no match for you and he was getting further by the second.
Spencer stops almost immediately, spinning on his heels when he hears your voice. He could recognise it anywhere, your sweet, melodic voice engrained into his brain; it’s one of his favourite things about you, how each word you speak seems to be infused with honey, ringing out sweet and soft.
Although, even if your voice is sweet and soft, despite the fact that you’re shouting, adrenaline spikes in his body - Why are you shouting him? Are you hurt? Are you okay? - the questions plague his mind, increasing his heart rate faster than anything ever has before. That’s saying something, considering he sees dead bodies, crime scenes, and confronts serial killers almost weekly.
Spencer’s legs have carried himself over to you before he’d even processed it, his own mind had distracted him, thoughts had clouded his head, and he only realises he’s stood in front of you and that you’re okay when he hears your melodic voice again.
“Spence? Spencer? Are you okay?” You ask, brows furrowed ever so slightly and pink lips pouted to express your concern for the brunette boy.
You didn’t ask him to ‘snap out of it’, make a joke about him being stuck in his big brain, or say ‘are you even listening?’. No, you just asked if he was okay. Spencer smiles softly at that, another gentle reminder that you really are an angel personified, despite his agnostic beliefs, regardless of whether he prays to a God or not, you are angelic to him.
“Yeah, yes, I’m okay,” Spencer reassures you, the soft smile on his face still there as he looks down at you. His brain catches up after he stops being dazed by your seemingly divine presence, in his opinion.
“You called me over, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s okay. Could I come and see that movie with you? I know some Italian and you said you’d whisper translate.”
Standing in the middle of Quantico’s parking lot, the pair of you clad in thick coats due to the recent spike in cold weather, your head tilted back so that you can look up at Spencer and his tilted down so that he can see you. You watch Spencer’s face go from a small smile to a full blown grin, his teeth peaking out from behind his pink lips making your heart warm in your chest, winter weather aside.
“Yeah? You’re serious?” Spencer asks, you nod.
“I’ll drive us there, no need for the metro. I’ll take you home, too,” you say, dangling your keys on your ring finger. The pair of you begin to walk to your car as Spencer explains what the movie is about, not being cut off this time.
In the car on the way there, he starts to talk about WW2, rattling off all of the details he knows about it, mainly ones he thinks will be relevant for context to the film. Smiles rest on both of your faces as he does so, his hands moving frenetically as he talks. When you know what he’s talking about, you’ll wait for him to finish before talking yourself, but mostly, you just listen to him.
Spencer stays true to his word and whisper translates the film to you, his voice in your ear something you like much more than you probably should, close proximity between the two of you because of it. His head is tilted towards you, lips by your ear but not so close that all you hear is his breath, Spencer’s very mindful of that.
At some point, you both reach for the popcorn between you without looking, his hand coming to rest on top of yours in the bucket. Suddenly, you’re very thankful for the dark room hiding the pink tint of your cheeks, completely unaware that he’s thinking the same thing.
Retracting his hand from the bucket quickly, he whispers a small “sorry,” secretly hating the loss of contact with your smooth, silky skin, warm fingers, no longer under his.
“It’s okay,” you reassure him quietly, eyes never leaving the screen in front of you for fear of him seeing the blush that’s painted your cheeks. You reach into your bag and hand him a hand sanitiser, knowing how he is with germs.
Spencer can’t help but wonder if you carry this just for him as he takes the clear bottle from his hands, reading the label as best as he can in the dim theatre and learning the hand sanitiser smells like vanilla. So do you, he notes, and he decides he doesn’t mind his hands smelling like you, in fact, he actually quite likes it.
An hour into the film, despite your best efforts not to, you succumb to sleep, the sound of Spencer’s voice in your ear every few seconds, the dim room, and how warm you are all lulling you into the unconscious state you currently find yourself in. Well, Spencer finds you in that state when your head drops to his shoulder, looking down at you through his glasses, and realising you’d fallen asleep.
He blushes at the sight of your head on his shoulder, the weight of it grounding him and sending him to some extreme height at the same time, your hair splayed over his shoulder making him smile to himself. In this moment, he decides that, despite all of the horrors he sees daily, the trauma he was subjected to growing up, and everything else in between, life is beautiful.
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sun-kissy · 2 days ago
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Hi San! I absolutely loveee your writing, and I thought I'd go ahead an request smth since it said your request were open! ☺️
Could I please ask for gn!reader x Remus Lupin, where reader is struggling during Christmas time and holidays, feeling guilty because of how much they're spending and how much others spend on them? I'd be so grateful, thank you so much! 🫶
i’m sorry for getting to this kind of late babe! but i hope you’re still able to enjoy 💕🫶
worth it | r.l.
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remus lupin x gn!reader
summary: you don’t feel like you deserve remus’ gifts, he thinks you deserve the world
Remus arches an eyebrow. “None of them?”
“None of them,” you confirm, dumping all the clothes you tried on into the basket outside the fitting room. He wraps an arm around your waist on instinct, pulling you close as you walk.
“Not even the black one with the nice design?” Remus brushes his lips to your hairline, little squeeze to your hip. “That looked lovely on you, sweetheart.”
You shake your head. You feel bad, and then again bad for feeling bad. It’s inescapable.
His frown seems to deepen, though he lets you pull him along and out the shop. “I thought you liked it, though. Didn’t you?” He pinches your waist teasingly. “Or were you just saying that to appease me?”
“No, no. I did like it,” you murmur, subtly trying to steer Remus towards the carpark so you can go home. He didn’t take the hint, or maybe he didn’t want to, continuing to walk further into the mall. “I just… don’t need it.”
“But you want it.”
“No, I don’t want it.”
“Are you sure?” he smiles. “‘Cause it didn’t seem like you didn’t want it when you tried it and were showing it off –”
“Yes, I’m sure.” It comes out snappy, and you regret it instantly. “Sorry.”
He looks hurt for a brief moment, grip on your waist loosening. But then his mouth falls back into a thin line, not hostile but not quite a smile either. “No, dove, I’m sorry.” He bends down to kiss your cheek. Guilt seeps into the skin where his lips just touched. “I’m sorry. I don’t want this to feel like I’m forcing you, yeah? It’s okay if you didn’t like it.”
“Sorry,” you mumble again. He tsks, his way of gently chiding you not to apologise.
You walk around the atrium in silence for a bit. The mall is more crowded than usual, bustling sales and exhilarated mobs of shoppers. The holiday season was always like this.
Remus had gotten you some really lovely books you’d been wanting for Christmas. Along with some video games, clothes, jewellery, the lot. He had woken you up with a bunch of kisses, given you even more although your face fell at the sight of all the presents.
You hated it. Not the gifts, and you certainly didn’t hate Remus. It just didn’t feel like you deserved any of it, much less so much. Too much. He didn’t have to spend this much money on you, money he barely had, but he did – he did, even though you were worth none of it. It made you feel like the worst lover in the world.
“Hey, wait,” Remus tugs you to a stop. He sounds almost excited.
His hand drops from your waist to point at a shop. “That’s the one with the jewellery you like, isn’t it?”
“No,” you lie.
He gives you a funny look. You feel your heart start to climb up your ribcage.
“Come on, sweetheart. You’ve been talking about the silver necklace all year, can’t believe I didn’t get you it for Christmas. But it’s no worry, we can get it now.” His hand closes around yours as he moves towards the shop. You don’t budge.
Remus turns back towards you, confusion in his features obvious. “Dove?”
“No.”
He blinks. “Huh?”
You tear your eyes away from the necklace set on display. “I don’t… I don’t even like that shop, Rem. Dunno what you’re talking about.” You try to sound as nonchalant as you can.
Remus frowns at you but says nothing. It feels like he’s looking right through you, like he’s digging through your skull to find your secrets. It makes your heart flip some awful way.
Then he softens. The tension in his features dissipates, he gazes at you some colour of affectionate. You know he’s figured you out.
“What’s this about?” he asks anyway.
The gentle tone catches you off guard. “Nothing.”
“Hey, no,” he slides his hand up to your wrist, lightly squeezing. “Talk to me.”
“It really is nothing,” you protest meekly. “I told you, I just don’t like that shop. Or jewellery in general.”
“Sure you don’t,” he murmurs bemusedly, humouring you. He takes your other wrist into the curve of his palm too. “Why don’t you want me spending money on you, sweetheart?”
“What? No, no. It’s not that,” you answer quickly. “It’s just, um…”
Remus gives you a knowing smile. That melts the last bit of fight in you.
You sigh. “I just… I don’t want you wasting your money on me.”
“It’s not a waste, dove,” he says gently, thumbing your wrists. “Not if it’s you.”
“But it is,” you swallow. “I don’t – I don’t deserve it, all the presents, and money, and effort. I don’t.”
His face falls, smile dimming a little. But he still looks at you like you’re the prettiest thing on the planet. “That’s not true. Not one bit.”
You stay quiet.
“You do deserve it, sweet thing,” he continues, and you really want to believe him. “It’s not too much, it’s not a burden. You’re not a burden, y’know?”
“I know I’m not a burden.”
He presses a kiss to the soft skin between your brows. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel like you do, dove.”
“I like buying you things. I like spending money on you, making you feel loved. Because you are –” another peck to your nose, “– you are so loved. And you deserve to know it, okay?”
“Okay,” you mumble. “You love me, got it.”
Remus pulls you closer, needles his arm under yours to hold you in a half hug. “I do love you, sweetheart. And it was never my intention to bombard you with stuff, or make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his stomach. “I don’t feel uncomfortable, just… overwhelmed. But not in a bad way.”
“Got it,” he says gently, pulling you in for a proper hug. You go easily. “Let’s start slow then, yeah? First things first, I’m gonna buy you that necklace.”
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shomatoriashi · 2 days ago
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01/03/25; 08:06pm
sung jinwoo x fem.reader
[ drabble | fluffshot ]
{ have you ever love something so much it hurts? }
it was nearing midnight as you found yourself laying back in bed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone while holding one of your plushies close to your chest.
despite the numerous times you tried to fall asleep, it seemed to evade you, causing you to toss and turn in bed at the most inopportune of times. your mind just couldn’t seem to shut off, hence why you were filling the minutes with silly cat videos and updates from your favorite vloggers.
in the midst of you watching your videos, you could have sworn you heard something tapping close by. you frown while putting away your phone, sitting up in bed to search for where the sounds were coming from.
however, your search doesn’t take long the moment your eyes land on your window, seeing your goofy boyfriend, sung jinwoo, smiling at you from behind the glass. there he was, standing precariously on your fire escape while beckoning you to come closer to him.
immediately, you escape from the confines of your covers, opening the window. the moment he sees you, jinwoo leans closer to capture your lips in a chaste kiss. “hey, it’s a good thing i wanted to see you. clearly you weren’t sleeping at all, now were you?”
you roll your eyes and lightly pinched your boyfriend’s cheek, earning a cute pout from him. “maybe not, so what are you going to do about it?”
instead of answering you, jinwoo wraps his arms around your waist, holding you close to his chest all while closing your windows once more. given little choice but to cling to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he made his quick descent down the fire escape.
“wah, jinwoo! where are you taking me?”
“out on a date.” he chuckles, pressing a kiss against your hair while landing on the sidewalk before settling you next to him. intertwining his fingertips with yours, you give him a sheepish expression all while looking down at your outfit. “woowoo, i’m literally in pajamas right now!”
“i assure you that no one cares. and besides, you’re incredibly cute like this.” jinwoo tells you with a boyish grin you knew you were weak to (and would just about anything to see him smile like that again).
as he walks with you into the heart of the city, he takes you to a 24/7 diner, where you shared a booth together while eating waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. he grins at you, putting a dollop of cream on the tip of your nose before licking it off of you, making the heat settle against your cheeks as you were unable to meet his gaze (earning a rich chuckle from him).
throughout your spontaneous date, you laughed and cuddled close to jinwoo, basking in the sweet aftertaste of those delicious waffles while leaning close to jinwoo’s shoulder. you walk out of the diner together as he hums, feeling you pressing your body against his while wrapping an arm around your waist, “are you getting tired?”
you shake your head immediately, “no jinwoo… it’s just… i don’t want this night to end.”
a handsome grin paints his features when jinwoo playfully ruffles your hair, “i was hoping you’d say that.” a few minutes later, he takes several steps away from you, smoothing out his dark cardigan while telling you, “close your eyes for me.”
trusting your boyfriend completely, you clench your eyes shut and wait with bated breath for his next move. there seemed to be a slight shift in the air as the wind was felt surrounding you. you needn’t wait for long, as the moment you felt the whooshing sensation of being lifted, you gasp while opening your eyes, clinging to jinwoo like your life depended on it when one of his larger shadow soldiers took flight.
its form was of that of a formidable dragon, and you watch with a sense of awe the moment he pierces through the skies with you and jinwoo settled on his back. after the initial fear and shock, you cling to jinwoo while giggling, completely unaware of the way he was smiling down at you. as you admired the stars and the light of the moon surrounding you, jinwoo coaxes you to sit with him.
he helps you, pressing your body closer to his while settling you on his lap. by now, jinwoo’s draconic soldier was simply maintaining his balance, never once tipping his wings on either side since he knew how important it was to keep his king and queen safe.
you were completely awestruck, eyes shining with a sense of reverence and joy at the sight of the galaxy of stars surrounding you. your ears catch jinwoo’s gentle laugh when you felt the sensation of his lips against your temple.
“do you like it, sarang?”
“like it? i love it.” you admit to jinwoo with a wide grin, facing him once more-
only to have your smiles and giggles swallowed by jinwoo’s searing kiss against your lips-
and truth be told, you wouldn’t mind having more late night dates like this ♡
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end notes: it’s been so long since i wrote a fluffy fic for the ultimate green flag in the entire universe 🥹 despite how much i thirst for and write for other men, i still love you, sung jinwoo ♡
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
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milla-frenchy · 3 days ago
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I already screamed at you (affectionately 😌) but Odi wtfffffff 🤯🥵🫠
I was already in love with Javi (in case you didn't know already 🤭), you didn't have to do this and make things worse😂🤭 (please do it again 😌😌😌)
Javi is SO confident, so sexy, omg the way he dances, dead LORD
What a HOT fic 🫠🫠🫠
Javier danced his way onto the makeshift stage in front of your bestie, spinning his hat off and tossing it with a flourish into the crowd. Almost causing a fight between a few of the women to break out. His aviators followed, revealing deep, smoldering eyes that locked with yours for a moment too long.
Ok. I'm not proud of it, but maybe I would fight too 🤣🤣🤣
Your face burned as your gaze dipped lower, catching a glimpse of something even more scandalous. The tiny scrap of leopard print couldn’t quite contain him—on the sides, the curve of his balls was slipping free. You swallowed hard, your pulse fluttering as he shifted his weight, the motion only emphasizing how precariously the thong was holding itself together.
Jail, Odi. JAIL
Seriously wtf 🥵🥵🥵
Javier struck a pose, bracing his hands on his hips as he arched his back slightly, flexing for effect. He glanced over his shoulder with a devilish grin, clearly relishing in the chaos he was causing. The lights caught the sheen of sweat on his skin, highlighting every curve and line of muscle, leaving no question as to just how perfect he was from every single angle.
Just so you know: I WAS HYPERVENTILATING READING THIS 🥵⚰️🧟
This man was a problem.
Yes. A big, broad, handsome problem 😂
His smirk widened. “Just great?” He leaned in slightly, the scent of his cologne—something dark and woodsy—mingling with the musky sheen of sweat on his skin. “Because you’ve been staring like you’re enjoying yourself a little more than tha?t.” You nearly choked on your drink. “I—I wasn’t—”
jfc he's such a menace
“Sit,” he commanded, his voice smooth but firm. His dark eyes gleamed with mischief as he waited for you to comply. Against your better judgment, you did.
omg. The tone 😍😍
“Relax,” he murmured as he noticed the way your hands gripped the edge of the chair. “I don’t bite.” He winked. “Not unless you ask nicely.”
Odi you're such a menace too, I hope you know it 😂
You eyed it suspiciously. “You didn’t put anything in this, did you?” He looked genuinely offended, clutching his chest dramatically. “I’m hurt you’d even ask.”
I loved this, so much
You raised an eyebrow, feigning nonchalance. “Curiosity, I guess. Wanted to see if you were as charming one-on-one as you are with a crowd.”   “And?”  You took a deliberate sip of your drink before answering. “Jury’s still out.”   He chuckled, “I’m not worried. I’m good under pressure.”  
I think "menace" is not even enough to describe him, actually lol
“Listen,” he said, his voice softer now, the teasing edge gone. “If this isn’t what you want, just say the word, and I’ll back off. No hard feelings.”   For the first time that night, you saw something unguarded in his expression—genuine sincerity that made your heart stutter.  You hesitated, your walls cracking under the weight of his words. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the way his thumb brushed against your knuckles, but something in you shifted.  
HELL YEAH great job reader 😍😍😍 I just love when our seducer falls for someone 🫠
Aaaaaah what a HOT fic!! I love your Javi 😍😍😍
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Strangers
Stripper!Javier Pena x f!reader // almost 9k
Time stands still and it's only us, what we feel started way before we ever touched... must be from a different life been here before and it just feels right
summary: you meet a sexy stripper at your bestie's bachelorette party and he tries his absolute hardest to get your number
warnings: mdni, 18+, javi is a stripper, he wears a man thong and gets pretty close to stripping it all off in public, there's cock and balls, unprotected p in v, f!oral receiving, lap dances for days, reader has breasts, a dress, and hair that can fall around her face and is internally conflicted about this man and his leopard thong, javi has a pov in this too
notes: i really don't remember what sparked this but here we are... it's been like a month or more of me working on this. I thought I was done and then I heard a single song and it pushed me to write even more. This was supposed to be just a smutty fic and then got some depth and I was like wtf. Anyway on to the thank yous, thank you to the 5000 people I have screamed to about this, and a massive thank you to @thundermartini for listening to me go on and on about this guy for a long time and then reading it for me love you baby! A special mention to @gothcsz for the thong idea, @evolnoomym, @milla-frenchy and @sawymredfox for being so supportive of this idea to @joelslegalwhre for reading and @syd-djarin for the moodboard
masterlist
The music thumped so loudly it seemed to shake the floor, the kind of bass-heavy track that rumbled through your chest. Your best friend’s bachelorette party was in full swing, and the rented penthouse buzzed with laughter, shrieks, and a significant amount of tequila-fueled chaos. The party planners had spared no expense, from the towering stacks of champagne glasses to the flashy male entertainment just about to take the stage.
And then, he walked in.
You couldn’t ignore the way the room seemed to shift when he entered. The man—Javier, as the MC introduced him—had an undeniable presence. Dressed in a tight police officer uniform complete with aviators, a fake badge, hat, and handcuffs, he adjusted his badge with a grin that screamed trouble. His dark eyes surveyed the room with the kind of confidence that could only come from knowing he was the main event. 
Every woman in the room, including you, took notice.
While your friends ogled and whispered not-so-subtle comments, you tried—and failed—to keep your eyes elsewhere. He was gorgeous, sure, but this wasn’t your scene. Loud parties weren’t really your thing. 
The first performance was for the bride-to-be, of course. When the lights dimmed and the music shifted to something playfully seductive, the room erupted into cheers and Javier made his way to the bachelorette. 
“Ladies,” he announced, his voice smooth and teasing as he pulled a pair of fake handcuffs from his belt. “I hear there's a bride-to-be here who’s guilty of breaking hearts. I’m afraid I’ll have to take her in.”
Your best friend shrieked with laughter as he arrested her, securing one cuff around her wrist and helping her onto a nearby chair. The room buzzed with excitement as he began to dance, every move deliberate and designed to tease. 
You watched the scene unfold, biting your lip to stifle your laughter. He was undeniably good at what he did. But you couldn’t focus on the theatrics as much as everyone else seemed to. Your attention had zeroed in on him—his broad shoulders, the way his shirt clung to his chest, and the effortless way he commanded every inch of the massive penthouse, the man was sex on legs. As he began to set up for the big finale, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.
Javier danced his way onto the makeshift stage in front of your bestie, spinning his hat off and tossing it with a flourish into the crowd. Almost causing a fight between a few of the women to break out.
His aviators followed, revealing deep, smoldering eyes that locked with yours for a moment too long. He’s just playing to the crowd, he has to look at all the women right?
The bassline shifted to a slower, dirtier rhythm, and he rolled his shoulders back, his body falling into perfect sync with the beat.
Then came the shirt.
He gripped the edges, peeling it off slowly, revealing inch by inch of sun-kissed skin stretched over a perfectly sculpted chest and arms. When he finally tossed the shirt aside, the room erupted in cheers and whistles.
And yet, all you could do was stare and clench your thighs together. Why was this affecting you so much? It’s just a party. It’s just a guy. Get a grip. But no amount of inner scolding could make you look away. Something about this man pulled you in.
His chest glistened under the soft glow of the light, each bead of sweat tracing a slow, tantalizing path over the chiseled contours of his body. Your breath hitched, captivated by the sheer allure of him—the way every ridge of muscle stood out, accentuated as his hand drifted slowly down his torso. He moved with deliberate ease, fully aware of the spell he was weaving, and the teasing smirk playing at the corner of his lips made it clear that he was savoring every second of all the attention he was receiving.
But it was when his fingers moved to rip off his belt that the real show began.
The collective energy in the room surged as Javier teasingly ran his hands down his sides, and in one swift, practiced motion, he reached for his waistband and yanked.
The rip-away pants came apart with a sharp, satisfying sound, sending the crowd into a frenzy. The noise, a mix of gasps, shrieks, and raucous laughter, echoed through the penthouse. But none of that registered as you stared at what had been revealed.
Javier stood unabashed and grinning in a leopard-print thong that left very little to the imagination. Every inch of his sculpted body was on display—toned legs, powerful thighs, and that tiny scrap of fabric barely holding itself together. The cut of the thong framed his hips perfectly, the deep lines of his V cutting down, drawing your eyes exactly where he wanted them to go. The thin fabric of the thong clung tightly to him, leaving the unmistakable outline of his cock on display, straining the limits of the material. Javier seemed completely unbothered by how much was on show.
Your face burned as your gaze dipped lower, catching a glimpse of something even more scandalous. The tiny scrap of leopard print couldn’t quite contain him—on the sides, the curve of his balls was slipping free. You swallowed hard, your pulse fluttering as he shifted his weight, the motion only emphasizing how precariously the thong was holding itself together.
The room exploded excitedly, women fanning themselves, throwing bills, and shouting over one another. But you could barely breathe.
And then, just when you thought the spectacle couldn’t get any more outrageous, Javier turned around with a deliberate, teasing spin, giving the room an uninterrupted view of his backside.
The thong was practically nonexistent, the thin fabric disappearing completely between the firm, sculpted curves of his ass. His glistening, muscular cheeks were on full display, round and perfectly defined, drawing another deafening eruption of cheers and whistles from the crowd.
Javier struck a pose, bracing his hands on his hips as he arched his back slightly, flexing for effect. He glanced over his shoulder with a devilish grin, clearly relishing in the chaos he was causing. The lights caught the sheen of sweat on his skin, highlighting every curve and line of muscle, leaving no question as to just how perfect he was from every single angle.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away. Your breath hitched and your pulse pounded so loudly in your ears it almost drowned out the music. Heat flushed through your body as your gaze lingered shamelessly on his backside, every inch of him a deliberate invitation.
After what felt like a torturous eternity, Javier turned back toward the crowd, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest as he surveyed everyone's reactions.
He strutted forward, running his hands up his torso and tossing a playful wink to the bride-to-be, who was practically falling out of her chair from laughter and shock. But his gaze kept flicking to you.
Your cheeks burned as he moved closer, spinning on his heel to give the audience another view. His movements were fluid and sensual, every roll of his hips and flex of his body perfectly in time with the music. When he leaned down to grab the bride’s hands to feel up his torso, his back arched in a way that emphasized the curve of his ass, and you bit your lip without thinking.
This man was a problem.
When he finally ended the dance with a flourish—dropping to his knees in front of the bride-to-be before flawlessly almost jumping back up to a standing position—the applause was deafening.
Javier laughed, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. He took a playful bow, blowing a kiss to the bride-to-be before gathering his discarded pants and shirt. His bare torso glistened under the soft glow of the party lights, and the lingering smirk on his lips suggested he knew he had the entire room wrapped around his finger.
The girls were still cheering and clapping, their voices a mix of exhilaration and tipsy enthusiasm. But while the others were caught up in the wild energy of the moment, you felt a strange tightness in your chest, like the room had closed in around you.
You weren’t used to reacting this way to someone, and it unnerved you. The heat creeping up your neck was impossible to ignore, and no amount of pretending to be distracted by your drink could hide the fact that your eyes kept darting back to him.
And he noticed—like a magnet—his eyes locked onto yours.
Your stomach flipped.
For a split second, everything else faded; the noise, the laughter, even your own internal protests to look away. It was just him, standing there, looking at you with that maddening confidence.
Then he moved.
Javier began to dance again, hips rolling in slow, hypnotic circles to the bass-heavy beat. The fabric of the thong strained with every motion, but he didn’t shy away. If anything, he seemed to lean into it—one hand trailing down his torso to brush along the waistband, teasing as if he might remove it completely.
Your pulse fluttered wildly as he worked the crowd, making his way closer, dancing toward you.
Your breath caught as you tried to focus on literally anything else—your drink, the flickering candles on the table, the way your best friend was still howling with laughter. But there was no escaping the fact that Javier was now standing right in front of you, every inch of him radiating heat and presence.
“Having fun?” he asked.
You blinked up at him, your mouth suddenly dry. “Uh… yeah. It’s been… something.” Your voice wavered, betraying how flustered you felt. Something? Really? That was the best you could come up with? You scrambled for words, your brain short-circuiting. “I mean—great. It’s been great.”
Smooth.
His smirk widened. “Just great?” He leaned in slightly, the scent of his cologne—something dark and woodsy—mingling with the musky sheen of sweat on his skin. “Because you’ve been staring like you’re enjoying yourself a little more than tha?t.”
You nearly choked on your drink. “I—I wasn’t—”
“Relax,” he teased, his grin softening into something warmer, more inviting. “I’m just messing with you. Now come on, sweetheart,” he encouraged. “Let me make your night.”
“I’m good, thanks,” you replied, though your cheeks burned with the effort of maintaining composure. You crossed your arms to emphasize your refusal, but Javier didn’t look the least bit discouraged.
“Oh, I don’t think you’re good. Not yet, anyway.” He leaned closer, his voice just for you now. “But I’m more than happy to change that.”
Despite your best efforts, the laughter bubbling up from your chest betrayed you. He grinned, clearly enjoying your reaction. But when you refused—again—he didn’t press. Instead, he winked, gave an exaggerated shrug, and moved on to another guest, leaving you strangely disappointed.
————
Later, after the performances ended and the room was quieter, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the back corner of the room scrolling idly on your phone, trying to drown out your lingering thoughts about him. A few drinks had loosened your resolve. You noticed a stack of glossy business cards on the table where he had tossed his hat earlier. Curiosity got the better of you, and you picked one up.
The card was sleek, black with gold lettering. At the top, in bold, elegant lettering, it read:
Elite Heat’s Javier Peña
To the left, there was a neatly organized list; a phone number, a Facebook link, which you immediately ignored, and a website address. But it was the bottom that made your breath hitch.
On top of a gold banner, the words Elite Heat: “The Best Sex Therapy” were printed in bold, confident lettering. 
To the right was a photo of Javier himself.
It wasn’t a professional headshot - far from it. It was one of those casual yet devastatingly attractive pictures that looked effortless but likely required perfect lighting and timing. He wore a grey long-sleeve shirt that framed his broad chest perfectly, the top buttons undone just enough to tease without giving away too much. His hand, however, made it impossible not to stare—casually slipping beneath the fabric, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his defined abs. The way the light hit his skin added a subtle sheen, making the whole image feel like a deliberate invitation.
For a moment, you just stared at the card. The combination of professional polish and brazen confidence made your stomach twist in a way that annoyed you.
“The best sex therapy, huh?” you muttered to yourself, raising an eyebrow at the audacity.
Curiosity got the better of you. You grabbed your phone and typed “Javier Peña” into Instagram. After scrolling through a few accounts that clearly weren’t him, you found the right one.
The profile itself was… an experience.
Picture after picture of Javier dominated the feed—some in his infamous uniform, others in casual attire, and far too many shirtless to be accidental. Every post was a masterclass in confident allure, and his captions were just as bold.
The comments were what really got to you, though. Endless lines of hearts, fire emojis, and thirsty declarations filled each post.
“Find something you like?”
His voice startled you so much that you almost dropped your phone. You looked up to see Javier standing in front of you, his shirt slung casually over his shoulder and he was wearing his uniform pants again. How long had he been there?
“I was just…” You trailed off, trying to think of a plausible excuse for stalking him online. His smirk told you he wasn’t buying it.
“Don’t worry,” he said, leaning in closer than necessary. “You can follow me. Might even follow you back.”
“I’m not interested,” you replied, though the conviction in your voice wavered as he placed a hand on the back of your chair, caging you in.
“You sure about that?” he asked, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. Your heart raced as he leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. “I’ll make you a deal sweetheart, one dance. If you hate it, I’ll leave you alone. But if you like it… well, you can give me your number when it’s over.”
You swallowed hard, your resolve crumbling faster than you wanted to admit. After all, what was the harm in one dance?
Javier’s confidence was infuriatingly contagious, and your curiosity was louder than the protests in your head. You nodded if only to prove to yourself that he wouldn’t get under your skin. A small, victorious smile curved his lips as he straightened, offering his hand. “Good choice.”
He didn’t give you much time to second-guess as he guided you to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the penthouse. Some of your friends hooted and hollered, clearly thrilled to see you in the spotlight. You, however, were hyper-aware of every step as Javier led you to a chair he had conveniently placed in the center of the room.
“Sit,” he commanded, his voice smooth but firm. His dark eyes gleamed with mischief as he waited for you to comply. Against your better judgment, you did.
The music shifted to something slower and sultrier. Javier grabbed his shirt from his shoulder, tossing it onto the floor. The movement was casual, but there was nothing casual about the way his toned chest and large arms drew every pair of eyes in the room. Including yours.
He stalked closer, and suddenly it felt like the room had disappeared. Just you, the chair, and the dangerously attractive man who seemed to thrive on the tension hanging in the air.
“Relax,” he murmured as he noticed the way your hands gripped the edge of the chair. “I don’t bite.” He winked. “Not unless you ask nicely.”
Before you could reply, he began to move.
It wasn’t the kind of dance you expected. Yes, it was provocative—every roll of his hips and glide of his body was designed to tease—but there was something more deliberate about it. He kept his gaze locked on yours, watching every flicker of emotion on your face. His hands didn’t touch you—not yet. Instead, they skimmed close enough to make you ache for the contact, only for him to pull away at the last moment.
He straddled the chair, his thighs framing yours as he dipped low, his chest hovering just inches from your face. His scent filled your senses, and your pulse quickened as he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re even more beautiful up close,” he whispered.
Your breath hitched, and you hated how easily he could see the effect he had on you.
Javier straightened, his hands gripping the chair on either side of you as he moved his hips in a way that felt borderline illegal. He was close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off him, but he still didn’t touch. The lack of contact was maddening, and the glint in his eye told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
The song ended too quickly, and he stepped back, leaving you feeling both relieved and oddly bereft. Your friends erupted into cheers and applause, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were fixed on Javier as he extended a hand, helping you out of the chair.
“Enjoy yourself?” he asked.
You swallowed hard, refusing to let him see how much he’d gotten to you. “It was… okay.”
He laughed—a deep, rich sound that sent another shiver through you. “Just okay, huh? I’ll have to work on that.”
Before you could respond, he winked and disappeared back into the crowd.
——
An hour later, the party was winding down. The penthouse was quieter, and most of your friends had migrated to the couches or left altogether. You were nursing your last drink of the night when Javier appeared again, a shot glass in each hand.
“For you,” he said, offering one with an easy smile.
You eyed it suspiciously. “You didn’t put anything in this, did you?”
He looked genuinely offended, clutching his chest dramatically. “I’m hurt you’d even ask.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine,” he admitted, leaning in closer. “I did put something in it.”
You froze, and he smirked, finishing his sentence with a devilish twinkle in his eye. “It’s called tequila.”
Your laugh surprised even you. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously charming,” he corrected, clinking his glass against yours. “Now drink up.”
Against your better judgment, you downed the shot, the burn of the tequila grounding you for a moment.
“Good girl,” he said. “Now, how about that number?”
Javier’s smile didn’t waver as he set his empty shot glass on the table. “Still hesitant, huh?” he asked, watching you with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.
You shrugged, trying to appear unaffected. “I don’t make it a habit to give my number to strangers, especially ones who…” You gestured vaguely to his naked chest and the police hat perched crookedly on his head. “...do what you do.”
“Fair enough,” he said, the teasing edge in his voice softening. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, holding it out to you. “At least let me follow you on Instagram..”
You stared at the phone, then at him. The sincerity in his tone threw you off balance, and the way his dark eyes searched yours made it hard to hold onto your skepticism. Against your better judgment—again—you took the phone and followed your account.
“Here,” you said, handing it back after following him.
Javier glanced at the screen, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll make it worth your while,” he promised, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”
And just like that, he was gone, disappearing into the night with the same confidence that had drawn every eye in the room earlier.
Javi 
Javier leaned against the balcony railing outside the penthouse lighting a cigarette, the cool night air doing little to temper the heat still coursing through him. The party was still going inside, but his thoughts had drifted elsewhere—to you. He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head at himself. He’d performed for hundreds of women, charmed his way through countless parties, but tonight felt… different.  
You’d thrown him off balance in a way he wasn’t used to.  
Sure, you’d laughed at his jokes and taken the shot he offered, but there was something in your eyes—an intoxicating mix of curiosity and resistance—that had him hooked. He wasn’t sure what it was about you. Maybe it was the way you tried to keep your guard up even as he chipped away at it. Maybe it was the way you watched him when you thought he wasn’t looking, like you couldn’t quite help yourself.  
Or maybe it was the way he couldn’t stop replaying that moment on the dance floor in his head. The way your breath hitched when he leaned in. The way your lips parted, as though you were holding back words—or something else entirely.  
The music from the party shifted the song echoing in the distance. Javier’s mind wandered as the melody pulled him into his own thoughts. It wasn’t just lust that gnawed at him—though, hell, that was definitely part of it. No, this was something deeper, something that felt unsettlingly like longing.  
He ran a hand through his hair, the grin he’d worn all night slipping away. He’d never been one for complications, especially when it came to women. His job was to entertain, to tease, to flirt—but he’d never felt this kind of pull before. It was like a spark had ignited when he locked eyes with you, and now it wouldn’t go out.  
For the first time in a long while, Javier wasn’t sure if he was in control.  
The lyrics to the song playing in the penthouse hit him square in the chest.  
Must be from a different life, been here before, and it just feels right. No, this ain't the first time for you and I, we ain't strangers.
The words struck a chord, leaving him standing there, staring out at the city lights, wondering how a single dance, a single moment, could unravel him so completely.  
It's like it's driving me closer to you, every step back pulls me right back to you…
Maybe you wouldn’t give him your number. Maybe this would end here, tonight, like all the other nights before. But as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened Instagram, his thumb hovering over your profile, he couldn’t help but think—this didn’t feel like an ending.  
It felt like the beginning of something he wasn’t ready to let go of.  
———
Back in your hotel room, you flopped onto the plush bed with a groan. The events of the evening replayed in your mind, Javier’s smirk and the heat of his gaze lingering longer than you cared to admit.
“This is ridiculous,” you muttered to yourself, reaching for your phone. A quick check of Instagram confirmed what you suspected—he’d already followed and sent you a message.
Javier: See? Now we’re not strangers anymore.
You rolled your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips. His confidence was irritatingly endearing.
You: I don’t think Instagram follows count as a formal introduction.
His reply was almost instant.
Javier: What would count? Because I’m pretty sure that dance was more personal than most first dates.
You bit your lip, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. He wasn’t wrong, but you weren’t about to admit that.
You: Is this your usual routine? Flirt with everyone at the party, then slide into DMs?
Javier: Nope. Just you.
You stared at the screen, your stomach doing an annoying little flip at his words.
You: Why me?
The typing indicator blinked for a moment before his reply came through.
Javier: Because you didn’t throw yourself at me like everyone else. And because you’re cute when you’re pretending not to be interested.
Your cheeks burned as you read the message, but you couldn’t help smiling.
You: I’m not pretending.
Javier: So you are interested?
You: I didn’t say that.
Javier: But you didn’t deny it, either.
You sighed, realizing this conversation wasn’t going to end anytime soon.
You: Don’t you have better things to do than bother me?
Javier: Nope. Not tonight.
Before you could come up with a snarky reply, another message popped up.
Javier: You could come over, you know. Save us both the trouble of texting all night.
Your heart raced at the suggestion, and you hesitated, typing and deleting a dozen responses before settling on one.
You: Not happening.
Javier: Why not?
You: Because it’s late, and I’m not that kind of girl.
Javier: What kind of girl is that?
You: The kind that sneaks into a stranger’s room after one tequila shot and a few texts.
Javier: I’m not exactly a stranger anymore.
You stared at his message, your lips twitching at the boldness. Before you could type out another response, your phone buzzed with a notification. It was a photo. From Javier.
You hesitated, your thumb hovering over the image preview before finally opening it. The picture was simple yet devastatingly effective: Javier, shirtless, sprawled on a hotel bed, the faint light casting shadows that only emphasized his toned chest. His dark eyes smoldered into the camera, and his messy hair added to the whole “devil-may-care” aesthetic he wore so well.
Javier: Feeling really lonely over here. Could use some company.
Heat pooled low in your belly and you groaned, tossing your phone onto the bed as if distance could break the spell he seemed to have on you. But of course, curiosity won out, and you grabbed it again, typing out a response before you could second-guess yourself.
You: Flattery and thirst traps won’t work on me.
Javier: Who said it was flattery? Just being honest.
You: Still not happening.
Javier: Okay, how about a compromise?
You: What kind of compromise?
Javier: Drinks. Just the two of us. Down at the hotel bar. Public place, no pressure.
You bit your lip, weighing your options. Saying yes felt like walking into a trap, but a part of you was curious—and maybe, just maybe, a little tempted. The idea of sitting across from him, away from the crowd, felt… different. Safer. Almost.
You: Fine. One drink.
Javier: I’ll take it. Meet you there in ten?
You: Fifteen. I need to change.
Javier: You don’t have to change for me, sweetheart. You already look perfect.
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips as you tossed your phone onto the bed and rifled through your suitcase. Fifteen minutes later, you stepped into the elevator, your heart pounding with anticipation and nerves as you descended to the hotel bar.
The bar was dimly lit, with warm amber hues reflecting off the polished surfaces. The low hum of conversation mingled with the clinking of glasses, creating an atmosphere both intimate and unassuming. You spotted Javier immediately.  
He sat at a corner table, leaning back in his chair. He’d changed into a simple black button-down that clung to his frame in a way that was almost unfair. His gaze locked onto you the moment you entered.  
“Right on time,” he said, standing as you reached the table. He pulled out a chair for you, a small but unexpected gesture that caught you off guard.  
“Don’t get used to it,” you replied, settling into the seat.  
“Noted.” His smile widened as he slid into the chair opposite you.  
The server appeared almost instantly, and Javier gestured for you to order first. You requested a simple cocktail, while he opted for whiskey on the rocks. As the server walked away, his attention returned to you and it wasn’t long before they returned with them.
“So,” he began, leaning forward slightly. “What convinced you to come down here?”  
You raised an eyebrow, feigning nonchalance. “Curiosity, I guess. Wanted to see if you were as charming one-on-one as you are with a crowd.”  
“And?” 
You took a deliberate sip of your drink before answering. “Jury’s still out.”  
He chuckled, “I’m not worried. I’m good under pressure.”  
The banter came easily, the conversation flowing in a way that surprised you. He was quick-witted, teasing without being overbearing, and as much as you hated to admit it, he was easy to talk to, it felt like knew him without knowing him. The more you spoke, the more you caught glimpses of the man behind the cocky facade—sharp, observant, and surprisingly thoughtful.  
Still, you made him work for it.  
Whenever his compliments grew too bold, you deflected with a teasing remark. When he leaned in a little too close, you leaned back, though you couldn’t ignore the thrill that ran through you each time he tested your resolve.  
“I like this game you’re playing,” he said after a while, his whiskey glass nearly empty.  
“What game?” you asked innocently.  
“The one where you pretend you’re not interested.” His gaze was unwavering, the heat in his eyes unmistakable.  
“I’m not pretending,” you replied, though the words sounded less convincing than you’d hoped.  
He tilted his head, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. “No? Then why are you still here?”  
You opened your mouth to respond, but the truth caught in your throat. Why were you still here?  
Before you could come up with an excuse, he reached across the table, his fingers brushing yours. The touch was light, almost hesitant, but it sent a jolt of electricity up your arm.  
“Listen,” he said, his voice softer now, the teasing edge gone. “If this isn’t what you want, just say the word, and I’ll back off. No hard feelings.”  
For the first time that night, you saw something unguarded in his expression—genuine sincerity that made your heart stutter.  You hesitated, your walls cracking under the weight of his words. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the way his thumb brushed against your knuckles, but something in you shifted.  
“Okay,” you said quietly.  
His brow lifted. “Okay, what?”  
“Okay… you’re not completely unbearable.”  
He laughed, the sound genuine and warm. “High praise.”  
“You know, I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” you admitted finally, your voice quieter than you intended. “I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”
His smirk softened into something gentler, his fingers still lightly brushing yours on the table. “Not everything has to be a good idea to be worth it, sweetheart,” he said.
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Is that your life philosophy, or just your way of convincing women to give you their number?”
“Both,” he said with a shrug, his grin returning. “And it’s worked out pretty well so far.”
You rolled your eyes, but the tension between you eased slightly. The conversation shifted after that, the teasing banter giving way to something more genuine. He asked about your life, your work, your dreams—and for every question he asked, he shared something about himself, too. 
“I wasn’t always this guy,” he admitted at one point, swirling the remnants of his whiskey in his glass. “I used to be a cop. A real one. Back in Colombia.”
You blinked, surprised. “A cop? Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah. DEA, actually.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? What made you leave?”
His expression darkened briefly, a shadow crossing his features. “Let’s just say… the job took its toll. And I realized I wanted something different. Something lighter.” He glanced at you then, a hint of humor returning to his voice. “Though I’m not sure stripping is what my father had in mind when I told him I was switching careers.”
The two of you laughed, and the conversation continued to flow. By the time your drinks were empty, you realized you were leaning forward, hanging onto his every word.
Javier glanced at the time on his phone and then back at you. “I hate to say it, but the bar’s closing soon.”
You nodded, a strange mix of disappointment and relief settling over you. “Guess I should head back to my room.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated, as if weighing his next words carefully. “Can I walk you to your door?”
Your pulse quickened at the question, but you nodded. “Okay.”
The two of you rode the elevator in silence, the charged tension between you filling the small space. When you reached your floor, he stepped out with you, his presence at your side was both comforting and exhilarating.
When you finally stopped outside your door, you turned to face him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Well… this is me.”
“Home sweet hotel,” he said, his tone light but his gaze intense.
You fiddled with your key card, unsure of what to say. He didn’t push, didn’t try to move closer. Instead, he simply smiled.
“I had a good time tonight,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “Thank you for giving me a chance.��
You swallowed hard, his words sending a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the tequila. “Me too.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. The air between you was thick with unspoken possibilities, each one more tempting than the last. Then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you leaned in and kissed him.
It was soft, hesitant at first—a test to see if this was really what you wanted. But the moment his lips moved against yours, everything else fell away. His hand cupped your cheek, his touch warm and steady as he deepened the kiss. 
When you finally pulled back, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of regret. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out,” you replied.
His smile was slow, almost lazy. “Careful, sweetheart. I just might take you up on that.” 
As Javier lingered, you found yourself hesitating. The way he kissed you had ignited something within you—something raw.
You opened your door but didn’t step inside, glancing back at him. "Well, you coming?”
He arched a brow, that teasing smirk returning. “You sure?”
You laughed softly. “I think I’ll take my chances.”
Javier followed you inside. The dim light of the room cast shadows across his face, softening the sharp lines of his features. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment as he studied you.
“So,” he drawled, his tone playful but low. “What exactly did you have in mind?”
You swallowed, heat rising to your cheeks. “I think you know Javier.”
He chuckled, shaking his head as he shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the back of a chair. “You’re something else, you know that?”
Before you could respond, he stepped closer, his fingers lightly grabbing your wrist. He guided you to sit on the edge of the bed and his voice dropped an octave. “If we’re doing this, I’m in control, ¿entiendes?”
You nodded, and it must have been obvious how nervous you were.
“Relax,” he murmured, his hands brushing your knees as he stepped between them. “This is supposed to be fun.”
You exhaled a shaky breath, your body responding to him in ways you couldn’t control. He leaned closer, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. “Do me a favor,” he whispered. “Touch yourself. Just a little.”
Your eyes widened, your pulse skyrocketing. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said. “I want to watch you.”
When you hesitated, his hand trailed up your thigh, his touch light but maddening. “Go on beautiful,” he urged. “Show me how you make yourself feel good.”
Your breath hitched, heat rushing to your cheeks and pooling low in your belly. Javier leaned back slightly, giving you space but never breaking eye contact. His gaze was dark, commanding, and utterly unapologetic. He wanted this. Wanted you vulnerable, open, and completely at his mercy. 
You hesitated, your heart pounding like a drum, but the way his fingers skimmed over your thigh made it impossible to think straight. “Don’t be shy,” he murmured, his voice coaxing yet dripping with authority. “I want to see every bit of you, mi amor.”
Your hand trembled as it moved to the hem of your dress. Slowly, you slid it higher, exposing more of your thighs to his burning gaze. He walked back and pulled up a chair, one arm draped lazily over the armrest, but his eyes never wavered from you. The way he looked at you—as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world—was both thrilling and terrifying.
“Good girl,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. The praise sent a shiver through your body. You could feel your arousal building, the tension crackling between you like a live wire.  
Your breath shuddered as your fingers brushed the fabric of your panties, the dampness betraying just how much his presence, his words, his command, had affected you. You glanced at him, unsure, but his gaze was steady, his jaw tight, his dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your pulse race. 
Slowly, you slipped your hand beneath the fabric, the first tentative touch drawing a quiet gasp from your lips. Javier's expression darkened with hunger, his composure unraveling ever so slightly as he leaned forward. 
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Let me see how beautiful you are when you can’t hold back.”
Your fingers began to move in slow circles, your body responding to your touch almost instinctively. The heat between your thighs grew, and your hips shifted slightly, seeking more pressure. The room seemed to shrink, the air heavy with the sound of your breathing and the faint rustle of your movements. 
Javier's eyes never left you. His own restraint was evident in the way his fists clenched, the way his chest rose and fell a little too fast. “I want to hear you. Don’t hold back from me.”
You whimpered, your movements becoming more confident, more insistent as you lost yourself in the moment. Every sound you made, every twitch of your body, seemed to light a fire in him. His control was slipping, and it was intoxicating to know that you were the one unraveling him. 
“God, you’re perfect,” he muttered, his voice thick with desire. “Keep going, just like that.”
Javier’s gaze burned into you, the tension in his jaw betraying how tightly he was holding himself back. But then, he shifted, his hands moving to undo the buttons of his shirt, one by one, exposing the golden skin of his chest. His movements were slow, deliberate, as if daring you to keep watching even as your own hand continued its rhythm. 
“Don’t stop,” he murmured, his voice dark and commanding, the sound vibrating through you. His shirt slid off his shoulders, and he let it fall to the floor. Then, his hands moved to his belt, the metallic clink making your breath hitch. He undid it in a single, fluid motion, the sound of the zipper following shortly after. 
Your fingers faltered for a moment, your breath catching as your focus shifted entirely to him. He stood before you, stripped of all pretense, his movements deliberate and sure. When he pushed his pants and boxers down in one smooth motion, your gaze locked onto him, and your thoughts scattered.
He was breathtaking. The sharp angles of his hips, the sculpted planes of his abdomen, the sheer strength of his frame—it was as if he had been carved just for you. Heat coiled low in your belly, a visceral reaction to the undeniable evidence of his desire for you.
Your eyes traveled over him, lingering shamelessly, drinking in every inch of him. His dark eyes burned into yours, filled with a heat that left you both vulnerable and electrified.
You swallowed hard, suddenly feeling exposed under his gaze despite still being partially clothed. The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing he could see—made your pulse race and your chest tighten with need.
The air between you crackled with an unspoken hunger, and you couldn’t look away, couldn’t hide how deeply he affected you.
His hand wrapped around his shaft, a groan slipping from his lips as he began to stroke slowly, matching the rhythm you’d set for yourself. “Look at me,” he said. “Don’t hide from me, nena.”
The sight of him, so confident, so completely at ease with his own pleasure, made your own need intensify. Your movements quickened, your body arching slightly as the tension in your core built. His gaze flickered over you, drinking in every shiver, every gasp, every movement of your hand.
“Dios mío,” he murmured, his strokes becoming faster as he watched you. “You’re so beautiful like this. I could watch you forever.” 
Javier’s hand stilled suddenly, and you watched as he got up, his body exuding confidence and unrelenting command. He stepped closer, towering over you where you sat, his dark eyes still heavy with desire. He leaned down, his fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his voice a seductive rasp as he said, “Come here.”
You hesitated, your heart racing, unsure of what he was asking. But he took your hand, pulling you gently to your feet, and his lips brushed your ear. “I want you to dance for me. Just for me.”
“I—I don’t know if I can,” you stammered, your cheeks burning. The idea made your pulse race, the vulnerability and intimacy of it all was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
His hands moved to your waist, steadying you. “Yes, you can, you’re perfect.”
His words wrapped around you, melting your hesitation. Slowly, you began to sway, your movements tentative at first, but his gaze never wavered, filled with encouragement and raw need. 
Your fingers found the hem of your dress, and you began to lift it, inch by inch, exposing your skin. His eyes tracked every motion, his breaths deep and heavy, fueling your confidence. The dress fell to the floor, leaving you in your underwear. You turned away from him, your fingers trembling as you unclasped your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders before finally slipping out of your panties. 
“Fuck, you are so beautfiul.”
You felt the power in his words, the way they stoked your courage and your desire. With each slow sway of your hips, you inched closer to him, the magnetic pull between you was impossible to resist. His heated gaze anchored you, igniting a fire that coursed through your veins.
You ran your hands down your body, over your curves, letting him watch as you closed the distance. His chest heaved as you straddled him and the tip of his cock brushed against your core, you froze, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. 
“You’re doing so good,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your collarbone. “Just like that. Take your time, baby. Feel every second of it.
“Javi,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “I don’t know if I—”
“Yes, you do,” he interrupted, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His touch was firm, guiding but never forcing. “You’ve got this, baby. Dance for me—on me. Take your time.”
The raw hunger in his voice undid you. He guided your movements as you began to grind against him, slow and sensual. Your body aligned with his as you slid against him, teasing him with every slow grind. His head fell back against the chair, his jaw clenched as he groaned your name. 
“Good girl,” he murmured, his hands tightening their grip, encouraging your movements. “Just like that. Feel me, nena. Let me feel all of you.”
Slowly, deliberately, you adjusted, letting your slick pussy tease the length of him. The anticipation was maddening, and you could feel him trembling beneath you, his restraint barely holding. Then, with a deep breath, you angled yourself just right and began to lower yourself onto his length.
The sensation stole your breath as you took him inch by inch, your body adjusting to his size. His growl of pleasure rumbled through you, his hands guiding you down until you were completely seated. The stretch, the fullness—it was overwhelming and it felt so good.
“Now move, baby,” he urged, his voice strained. “Show me how good you can make us feel.”
You began to roll your hips, your movements slow and deliberate as you rode him, your bodies perfectly in sync. The connection between you felt electric, every thrust and grind drawing you closer together. His hands explored your body, his lips tracing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone as you moved, his murmured praises driving you to the brink.
Each undulation of your hips sent a new wave of pleasure crashing through you, and as you rode him, the world melted away, leaving only the two of you tangled in passion and ecstasy.
The sensation made you both gasp, his hands tightening on your hips as you began to move. “That’s it,” he groaned. “Ride me. Just like that.” 
The tension coiled tighter with every roll of your hips, the friction building to a fever pitch as Javier groaned your name like a prayer. His hands gripped your waist firmly, guiding your movements, his thumbs pressing bruising circles into your skin as if to anchor himself. The entire time his gaze stayed locked on yours, dark and intense, as if he wanted to memorize the way you looked in this moment—completely undone above him.
“That’s it, baby,” he rasped. “You feel so damn good.”
The words lit you up, your pace quickening as you chased the edge, that blinding release that teased just out of reach. Your breaths mingled with his, sharp and ragged, the room heavy with the sound of skin meeting skin and the delicious symphony of your pleasure.
“Javi,” you gasped.
“I know, baby,” he murmured, his hands sliding up your back to cradle your face. “Let go. I’ve got you.”
Something in his voice broke you, the sincerity laced with desire, the unshakable promise that he wouldn’t let you fall. Your body tensed, your movements stuttering as the first shockwaves of pleasure crashed through you, and you cried out his name as you shattered around him.
Javier didn’t falter. He held you steady, his grip firm as he ground his hips up to meet yours, pulling you through the aftershocks until you were trembling in his arms. The intensity of it left you breathless, and you slumped forward, resting your forehead against his as you tried to gather yourself.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice still thick with need, though his concern for you was evident.
You nodded, chest heaving as you caught your breath. “Yeah,” you whispered. 
“Your turn to relax. I’m not done with you yet.”
Before you could respond, he scooped you up effortlessly, cradling you against his chest as he stood. A soft squeak escaped you, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he carried you across the room.
“Javi, I can walk,” you protested weakly, though you made no effort to pull away.
“I know you can,” he teased, “but I like having you right where you are.”
The bed was cool against your back when he laid you down, but his body quickly chased away the chill. Javier followed you down, his weight settling between your thighs.
“Now,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from your face as his gaze softened. “Where were we?”
Javier’s lips captured yours in a kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. He kissed you like he had all the time in the world, savoring every second, and you couldn’t help but melt into him.
His lips trailed down your neck, leaving a path of heat as he paused to suck and nip at the sensitive skin. His hands explored you, tracing the curve of your waist and the swell of your hips before sliding lower. Every touch sent shivers through you, and you couldn’t hold back the soft gasps escaping your lips.
“You’re incredible,” he murmured against your skin. “Every inch of you.”
Your fingers tangled in his hair as you arched into him, your body aching for more. “Javi, please,” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He chuckled softly. “Patience, sweetheart. You just taste so good.”
Your hands gripped his shoulders, your body arching involuntarily. “Javier, I need… I need you.”
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. “You’re so beautiful like this. All mine.”
As his lips moved lower, he pressed kisses to the sensitive skin of your thighs, his hands spreading you gently. The anticipation made your body tremble, your legs parting instinctively as you felt him pause, his breath hot against your core.
“Perfect,” he whispered, almost to himself, before he leaned in.
The first touch of his tongue made you cry out, your fingers clutching at the sheets as he worked you with slow movements. Javier groaned softly, his grip firm on your thighs as he held you open, the sound vibrating through you and heightening the pleasure.
Your hips bucked against him, and you gasped, “Javi, please, I’m so close.”
He lifted his head slightly, his lips glistening as he smirked at you. “I love hearing you beg for me, come on let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
His tongue and suddenly his fingers moved together in perfect rhythm, lapping, sucking and moving just right. The tension in your belly coiled tighter until it snapped, pleasure crashing over you in waves that left you trembling. Javier didn’t stop until your body softened beneath his touch, his movements slowing as he kissed your thighs and worked his way back up your body.
By the time he reached your lips, you were breathless, your body buzzing with aftershocks. He kissed you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his lips.
“How was that beautiful?” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours.
“Incredible,” you whispered, your fingers tracing the strong lines of his jaw.
Javier groaned softly at your touch, his restraint visibly fraying. He kissed you harder, his body pressing into yours as his arousal became impossible to ignore. “You sure you’re ready for more?” 
You answered by rolling your hips against him, earning a sharp inhale as he gritted his teeth. “I need you, Javi. Please fuck me.”
That was all it took. He positioned himself, his gaze locked on yours as he pushed into you in one slow, steady motion. The stretch was intense, and you gasped, clinging to him as your body adjusted.
“Jesus,” he groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder. “You feel so fucking good, so damn tight.”
“Move..please,” you urged softly, your lips brushing his ear.
He obeyed, pulling back before thrusting in again, setting a rhythm that was slow but deep. Every movement drew you closer until you couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.
His hand slid between you, his thumb finding your most sensitive spot, teasing it in time with his thrusts. “You’re taking me so well.”
Your nails raked down his back, the pleasure building impossibly fast. “Javier,” you whimpered, your body tightening around him as the tension reached its breaking point.
“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, his pace quickening as he chased his own release. “Come for me, give me one more.”
His words were your undoing. You shattered around him, your cries filling the room as pleasure consumed you. Javier followed moments later, his movements faltering as he buried himself deep, a guttural groan escaping him as he found his release.
For a while, neither of you moved, the room quiet except for the sound of your ragged breaths. Eventually, Javier rolled to the side, pulling you close against his chest. He pressed a kiss to your temple, his lips soft and tender.
He chuckled, his chest rumbling beneath your cheek. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”
You laughed softly, tilting your head to meet his gaze. “You’re not so innocent yourself, Javier.”
His smirk returned. “Get some rest, baby,” he murmured, pulling the blanket over you both. “You’ll need it for round two.”
606 notes · View notes
rubiehart · 15 hours ago
Text
LOOK AFTER YOU…
pairing: jj maybank x bsf!reader
summary: an alternative universe to my own bsf!reader, where her parents aren’t supportive of her and jj’s relationship and the consequences of that.
warnings: graphic description of injuries, mentions of physical, mental and verbal abuse, underage use of tobacco, hurt/comfort.
a/n: literally came up with this in ten minutes and binge wrote it in an hour, wasn’t even initially gonna be based on any song but this one just fit so well so why no lol. i guess this is kinda the start of my comeback for the new year, hope you all love ♡︎
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♪ Look After You - The Fray ♪
Honestly, JJ didn’t know how he ended up dating the girl who’d been his best friend since elementary school, how sharing beds after a long day of surfing in middle school turned into them smushed up against each other only three years later, limbs tangled and breath mingling, completely drunk off of each other, completely enamoured by the other like it was the first glimpse.
He knew she was a bitch sometimes, he knew she was sweet sometimes, but only ever around him and when they’d completely stripped each other of every wall they’d put up, emotions raw and throat’s even more so from whatever had gone on with their own parents in the place they were supposed to call home. Neither of them knew the meaning until that night.
That one night that changed the entire rest of their lives, for better or worse? Neither of them knew. The night when they both separately hit rock bottom. Absolutely nothing to lose, now. The lowest of the low. Hell.
She’d just been kicked out by her parents for good, and it really was official this time. Something stupid she’d done with JJ that really wasn’t as serious as they were making it seem, but it seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back, the final push that made them force all their walls up against JJ, but they were a team, two halves of a whole, so in her eyes, if they were denying JJ they were also denying her, and she didn’t have time or the energy to deal with people like that, so she up and left that night. Sending JJ a quick text before shoving her dying phone in the pocket of her battered shorts and setting off to where she knew he’d go to first.
Unbeknownst to her, JJ’s situation was similar, something simmering on a low heat in Luke’s body for a few days previous, a few too many pills popped and he was ready to burst, and who better to take it out on that his sixteen year old son? No one, supposedly. This is how JJ ends up shoving open the door to the wooden lodge he’s supposed to call home, body aching as he forces himself down the steps, stumbling on an already bruised leg, until he reaches the edge of the lawn of the Maybank residence. The last thing he hears is the raw, blood curdling yell of his father, ‘Run and pray I don’t find ya, boy!’, the blood rushing in his ears and the soft beating of his combat boots against the dead grass, a baffling contrast to the absolute war in his mind.
His bruised legs carry him all the way across the island, the only thing in his mind is her, and it’s the only thing keeping him on his feet, head spinning, as he continually tells himself, ‘Just a little longer, J’, ‘A little longer than you can take a break.’ He doesn’t let himself stop until he gets there, lungs gasping for a breath of fresh air as the wind rushes past his ears, legs aching and stinging but he fights it until the image he’d been imagining comes into view through the weeds of the marsh. The lighthouse.
He’d found her on the rocky island, as expected slumped against the rocky wall of the structure, red and white painted chipped to hell. She was wearing an oversized black tank top, assumably his, the usual pair of denim shorts, and some beat up sneakers, hair falling in front of her eyes, cigarette already burning between her lips.
It’s late, the moonlight bathes her body, forearms resting on her knees, friendship bracelets dangling from her wrists and brushing against the grazed skin of her legs. He wordlessly slumps down next to her, groaning softly as his beaten body hits the rocky floor, a streak of white hot pain passing through his chest.
She obviously senses his presence, it’s completely un-ignorable. She makes brief eye contact with him in the pale light, a warm glow casted over her face from the flame at the end of the cigarette, highlighting the tear marks down her freckled cheeks, now dried and assumably sticky in the soft wind of the late night.
She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t need to, and neither does he.
That’s one thing that was so special about them, even before they’d gotten together and were just best friends with insane sexual tension, they could always read the other’s mind without sharing any words, could read each other fluently with just looks and body language.
The toe of her beat up sneaker digs into the rocks scattering the floor, and he watches her from the corner of him eye, chest still heaving, her head falls back against the concrete wall of the lighthouse, exhaling into the cold night as she passes off the burning stick to him. He notices how her fingernails are painted shimmery purple, or were, now they’re all chipped and her fingernails are bitten.
He accepts the cigarette, the familiar bitter tobacco and smoke slip past his chapped lips, gash on the lower corner re opening as he inhales. He couldn’t care less in this moment as they both sit wordlessly in the moonlight. She could practically feel the tension in his shoulders and the inevitable tightness in his chest, maybe this cigarette wasn’t the best thing for him right now, but everyone’s got their way of dealing, so she keeps her mouth shut for once.
He glances at her through his peripheral, pulling his legs up into a similar position to her, arms aching as he rests his forearms against his bloody knees. His hooded eyes frail over her tear stained cheeks. She’s tough. Tougher than anybody he’d ever met. He knew not to push her to talk. She’d talk when she was ready, and he wasn’t exactly eager to tell her about what went on tonight, either.
Her softer fingers brush his calloused ones when he passes it back, taking a drag and holding it in her lungs, letting it burn, because in this moment she wants to hurt, the pain is almost a comfort.
She exhales, smoke clouding his image of her for a second as she passes it back off to him, the orange glow lighting him up for once as her lips part to speak.
It’s raspy, like she’d been screaming, or crying, or both. He assumes both because he knows how it is in her house, much like she knows how it is in his. The precise reason why she doesn’t question the cuts on his cheekbones, or the grazes on his knees and elbows, and knows that there’s bound to be a ton more all over his body, concealed by his threadbare shirt and cargo shorts, curtesy of his deadbeat father.
“Got thrown out.”
Her voice pierces the bitterly cold wind that blows, blowing his sweaty, blonde tresses every which way, he lifts a hand to cover the end of the cigarette, blocking it from the strong gusts, the silver of his rings glinting in the orange glow.
He nods once, taking a hit as he takes in the information, he’s not all that suprised though, it was only a matter of time, he knows they’d been waiting for anything to happen to get rid of her for good.
“Same here.”
He says with a soft chuckle, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes and she doesn’t wonder why. He doesn’t want her to know the extent of it though, he doesn’t want her to know how bad it gets. Doesn’t want her to worry.
A small smile graces her lips, the skin stretching tight from the cold, licking over her lips once as she glances at him. She doesn’t even know why, she’s got absolutely nothing to smile about, sixteen, homeless, not even a dollar to her name, but just a glance at him smiling lifts a weight off of her, like maybe things weren’t going to be so bad.
She takes the cigarette back from him, mock forcefully, a ghost of a smirk still lingering as she takes another drag, shorter this time, sucking and blowing before speaking again, forearms adjusting on her grazed knees with a silent hiss, teeth gritted.
“What for?”
He lets out a bitter scoff, staring at his shoes so he doesn’t have to meet her eyes. The moonlight is making her look a fallen angel, all soft and pretty but still a little rough around the edges, just like him. He shrugs like he doesn’t know, pretending like he doesn’t know she can read him like a book.
“Same old bullshit.” He mumbles around the cig, taking a second drag since she’d passed it back, like he was trying to drown out the memory. She scoffs, mirroring his own reaction. Two halves of a whole. She can’t stop her eyes from wandering to his side profile, illuminated by the soft amber glow of the flame, highlighting the slope of his angular nose, the chisel of his cheekbones, already blooming with black and purple splotches, but he’s beautiful to her nonetheless.
She forces her eyes away and nods. “Same.” Picking at the chipped polish along her nails as she glares out at the horizon, the waves lapping ever so quietly at the rocky shore, the light from the lookout flickering dully above their heads.
He huffs softly, shaking his head, passing back the cigarette with trembling fingers.
Of course that was the reason, on her end anyway, and without her explicitly stating it he knows what her ‘same old bullshit’ is. He had pretty much known from the start that her parents wouldn’t be supportive of their relationship. He was a troublemaker, a bad kid, the kind of boy parents warned their daughters about.
He looks up at her, fiddling with his fingers between the gap in his bent knees, blonde hair flopping over his sweat slicked forehead, tickling at the gash above his eyebrow. He studies her profile as the glow of the cigarette lights her up. Even with her hair messy and her eyes red rimmed and her eyeliner smeared down her cheeks, she’s still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
A comfortable silence falls over the two of them, the gravity of the situation hitting them both at different speeds. Two homeless, empty pocketed sixteen year olds, only their love for each other keeping them above water. Dodging whirlpools and massive swells with just each other to stay afloat. She digs the toe of her sneaker into scatter of rocks again, the soft clink of them the only thing heard other than the soft lapping of waves and their breathing, which had now synced.
He keeps his eyes on her, studying her and taking in every single detail in the moonlight. He can see every single freckle on her skin, every single eyelash. She’s perfect. Gorgeous. An angel amongst a sea of demons. He leans in closer, gently knocking his knee against hers.
“We’re gonna be okay, yeah?”
He mutters under his breath, so close she can feel the warmth radiating off of him.
She turns her head, hair falling infront of her black rimmed eyes, framing her blood rushed cheeks in the moonlight, nursing the fading cigarette between her fingers. She nods once, it’s small but it’s there, and it’s all the reassurance that he needs that they’re gonna be okay.
She leans a little more into his touch so they stay close, shoulders occasionally brushing and knees pressed together.
“Yeah.” She breathes out, a small smile making its way onto her lips.
He’s tempted to reach for her hand, to tangle his fingers in hers, to hold her as tight as possible for as long as possible, because she’s all he has left, and he’s afraid if he doesn’t hold her close, she’ll disappear like every other ounce of hope in his life.
But he doesn’t know if she’s okay with being touched right now. He knows she can be sensitive sometimes when she’s like this, closed off and thinking. So he keeps his hands to himself, not wanting to overstep. Instead, he just lets himself lean into her a little more, head tilted a little to the side to give her more than enough space if she wants to lean her head against his shoulder like she does sometimes. He’s making it clear that if she needs him, he’s here. Always.
Then, almost as if reading his mind, her hands finds his, soft skin brushing callouses along his pinkie finger, it’s hesitant but it’s not accidental as their fingers intertwine. She doesn’t look at him but he doesn’t need her to to know what she’s thinking. She stubs out the cigarette with her other hand, the ash hissing softly against the concrete wall behind her head before she flicks the butt into the rocks. Waves lap against the shore, sea foam clotting and sticking and forming pretty consolations, her thumb brushes over his bruised knuckles thoughtfully, but it’s natural and unpracticed.
He lets out a shaky exhale as her delicate fingers wrap around his. They’re smaller than his, more nimble, and yet they’re strong. Stronger than normal, like she’s solidifying every word she’s conveying through his simple touch. That this is real. Once that contact is made he feels like he can breathe again. Her skin feels electric against, sending sparks up his arm and signals to his brain that stop him feeling the dull, everlasting ache all over his body, that thrums low but never truly leaves for good. But this feels right. It feels good.
The winds starting to pick up a little now, she has no idea what time it is and neither does he, but it’s a distant worry. She’s got a little niggling at the back of her brain that there’s a storm incoming, but she’s not sure when or where’d she’d heard it, every memory from the past few days blending into one, where she can’t pinpoint any individual words or emotions.
She lets her eyelids flutter closed, head laying down softly onto JJ’s shoulder, incase there was a nasty bruise underneath the worn cotton, he wouldn’t have told her even if there was. She breathes steadily, breathing in the lingering scent of him on the warm skin of his neck: sea water, sweat and a hint of the old spice cologne he’d stolen from his dad in ninth grade, and then kept stealing bottles whenever it’d run out.
She squeezed his hand in hers: once, twice, three times. A silent ‘I love you’. Neither of them had ever been any good with words, but they didn’t need to be.
She doesn’t know whats going to happen and she doesn’t know what they’re going to do after tonight, when they wake up tomorrow morning in the abandoned lighthouse with less than a dollar to their shared name. But she doesn’t let the thought cloud her memory too long, because with JJ by her side it’s hard to worry about things that aren’t facing you yet, it’s easy to just live in the moment with him.
With her head leaning against his shoulder, breath from her nose tickling his skin, he takes the time to study her for the billionth time that night. Taking in the slope of her nose, her jawline, her eyelashes. His heart does all sorts of crazy things in his chest, things he’d never felt before her. But it’s not from fear, or uncertainty, or anything of the sort. Instead, it’s from love. From adoration. From everything he feels for her.
“I love you.”
He whispers, just loud enough for her to hear him over the wind.
Her eyelashes flutter open, kissing at her eyebrows, fingers still interlocked with his as she zones in on him, he notices the way her eyes are glazed over with tears.
It had always been harder for her to say those three words, even though she’d come from a more conventional family than JJ, his full of physical abuse, hers was full of mental and verbal abuse, the pushing down of her feelings to avoid manipulation is second nature to her. Usually.
But now with JJ, she lets out a soft exhale through her nose, pressing it against the side of his neck, breathing him in as she whispers, hot breath ticking the sensitive skin.
“I love you too.”
He can feel his cheeks heat up when her hot breath brushes against his skin. He doesn’t know why it makes him so flustered, because by this point he should be used to her touch, her quiet little declarations of love. He’s spent countless nights wrapped around her, his arms holding her to his chest like she’s his lifeline.
And yet, when she whispers that she loves him, his heart races in his chest. His fingers squeeze around hers so tight it’s bound to bruise. He doesn’t need to say anything back and she doesn’t expect it, he conveys everything he wants to say through the way his breath hitches and his heartbeat quickens under her ear.
Her eyes flick up to his profile after a minute or so, eyes roaming all over his features from this new angle, pressing her cheek against his shoulder, watching him fiddle with his rings on his fingers, twisting at them, pulling them off and putting them on again. She breaks through his quiet thoughts with a soft question, that he misses because it’s caught in the whisper of the wind.
“Hm?” He mumbles, hand reaching down to find hers again, squeezing it reassuringly as he looks down, hooded eyes completely captivated by her.
“Does it hurt?” She repeats softly, no irritation in her tone like normal when she has to repeat herself to him. He’s confused for a second, eyebrows furrowing until he realises she’s talking about the series of bruises across his cheekbone, her wide eyes lingering on the skin. It’s only then he remembers he was even hurt in the first place, and the low thrum of pain comes back all over his body, wound above his eyebrow stinging when a gust of wind blows.
She squeezes his hand again softly, not forcing him to speak if he doesn’t want to, being patient with him. His gaze stays on her, and he’s coming up with a lie, telling her he’s fine and not to worry about him. But the words get caught in his throat at the worry in her soft gaze. He doesn’t want to lie, not to her.
“Like hell.”
He mutters, bringing his free hand up to his eyeline, the one that’s not gripping hers. He stares down at his bruised knuckles, some starting to scab, others not, starting to turn an ugly shade or reddish purple.
“Yeah?” She replies softly, she seems to have thawed off a little, anger not so red hot, scalding in her fingertips. Not so angry at the world. Her free hand comes up to softly brush against the blossom of purple along his cheekbone, and his jaw ticks under her touch, refraining from flinching away from her. She notices, though, and tears spring to the corners of her eyes, tear ducts working overtime tonight, it seemed.
He lets out a shaky exhale, it’s covered by the wind but she doesn’t miss the quiver of his lips. Her gentle touch feels electric against his skin. He doesn’t want to flinch, but it hurts. It hurts.
Her touch is soft and delicate, tracing over the bruise with a feather light touch. His skin is heated and tender, and any contact makes the thrumming under his skin stronger. But at the same time, it feels good, because she’s touching him. Loving him.
His eyes dart up to meet hers, searching them for any sign of fear. Or disgust.
There’s nothing even close reflected in her eyes. They’re soft, softer than he’s ever seen them. That hard exterior she puts up is broken through as she looks at him, beaten and bruised. It makes her heart physically ache in her chest.
“You wanna talk about it?”
She whispers softly, he hears her through the soft gust that comes in, blowing his hair out of his face a little, exposing the gash across his temple. He’s so tuned into her right now, overanalysing every movement she makes, every word, every breath.
He lets out a soft scoff, shaking his head. The last thing he wants to talk about is his piece-of-shit dad. Talking about the events of tonight wouldn’t change a single thing, and it’s just gonna make her worry.
“There’s nothin’ to talk about.”
He mutters under his breath, avoiding her gaze. He knows she’s trying to be sweet, and care for him but he doesn’t want her to pity him. He doesn’t want her to think he’s weak.
She notices his walls coming back up, him pulling away from her a little, if not physically definitely internally. She doesn’t force anything, just nods softly, blinking back the tears in her eyes and slips her hand from his cheek, slumping back against the concrete wall with a soft sigh, knees and shoulders brushing.
The last thing she wants to do it push, make him cramp up and close himself off like he did sometimes.
The part of him that wants to lean back into her touch, to be held and loved and cared for after being beat to a pulp wars with the part of him that doesn’t want her pity.
He settles for somewhere in the middle, their thighs pressing together and shoulders brushing. He’s still avoiding her eyes, staring down at his bruised knuckles, biting back the tears that lodge his throat.
Her gaze stays on him for a long time, even if he’s refusing to reciprocate her longing gaze. She doesn’t mind, she just quietly watches, admires.
He feels her gaze on him and he can’t fight it anymore, he never could. His eyes flick to hers, fiddling with the rings on his thick fingers, forearms rested on his knees.
She’s giving him this look that makes him want to melt, like she sees right through him, for everything he is and everything he will be and the only emotion in her moonlit eyes is love.
“Do you..” She trails off, the wind picking up a little around them, the waves splatter against the rocks, sea foam clinging to the pebbles only a few meters away and JJ’s eyes flick from the shore, and then to her. He knows what she’s trying to ask, or along the lines of her question.
His heart’s doing that fluttering thing again, like a caged bird. He doesn’t need to be told what she’s asking, because he can read it in her eyes. He knows she’s not asking out of pity, or even out of lust. Just a pure, unconditional adoration. A need to hold the boy she loves. A need to be as close to him as possible. He knows there’s no point in denying her, and he doesn’t want to, anyway.
He nods shakily, letting his eyes flutter shut, pleading with him himself internally to not break, not yet.
“What do you need?”
She whispers softly, fingers itching to touch him, to comfort him, but she wants to touch him however he wants to be, and she don’t want to push anything.
He wants her. Needs her. He wants to run his fingers through her hair, feel her heart beating against his, breathe in the scent of her skin. And it’s not out of lustful desire, it’s out of a deep-down desperate need to feel safe. To feel wanted. He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he lets out a shaky breath. His eyes flick open, the saddest look she’d ever seen gracing his features, and she can tell he’s about to break.
“C’mere.”
He mutters under his breath, voice scratchy and quiet as he reaches his arms out for her, wincing softly at the stretch of the skin of his chest, littered with purple and blues.
She doesn’t wait to crawl into his lap, slowly, listening intently to every little gasp he makes to make sure she’s not putting any pressure on his major bruises, if they weren’t outside on a rocky beach, slumped against a wall, she’d be the one holding him, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and right now JJ needs her, no matter how.
Her chest is pressed against his, strong arms wrapped around her back and keeping her as close as possible to him. He’s holding her tighter than he should, afraid she might slip away if he loosens his grip.
His hands find her hips, snaking under the loose material of the tank top and digging affectionally into the warm skin there. The feeling of her finally being against him is driving him crazy, but in a good way, caged between the wall and her.
He lets out a shuddering breath, burying his face in the crook of her neck, his nose nuzzling at her soft skin.
“You’re okay.” She whispers, resting one hand at the back of his head, fingers carding through the hair at the nape of his neck gently, pressing her lips to his crown. She feels his shoulders begin to shake and the meltdown that he’d been holding back from all night crashing down and overtaking him now.
You know all you can do is be present, and reassure him. “Everything’s gonna be okay..”
He feels the dam inside of him break, like the floodgates had finally opened, and before he knows what he’s doing, hot tears are springing to his eyes.
She’s saying all the right things. She’s touching him like no one’s touched him. And it’s too much. Too much to handle. He buries himself against her chest, his arms wrapping around her torso to hold her close. He lets out another shuddering breath, a soft crying shortly following, and it’s guttural and soul shattering as he shakes against her.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you. ‘M not goin’ anywhere.” She mumbles into his sweaty hair, blonde tresses tickling at her chin, leaving kisses anywhere she can reach, hands carding through his hair, offering the maximum amount of comfort she can in his arms.
“You’re okay, baby.”
Her calling him ‘baby’ isn’t something he realised has such an effect on him until now, and the way her voice is so soft, so sweet and caring, has him melting against her.
Her touch and her words are like a balm on his frayed nerves, extinguishing the fire burning under his skin.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
He chokes out, like a mantra, into the warm crook of her neck, over and over again, soaking the skin with his tears.
“I love you more.”
She whispers against his head, leaning sitting up a little straighter against him for a sec, but he’s pulling her down just as quick, pressing a soft kiss to her collarbone as he cries.
“Hey, listen for a sec.” She mumbles, and waits for him to nod against her before continuing, fingernails scraping deliciously against his scalp as she speaks, her words attempting to calm him down from his spiral.
“‘Member what we said? After we figure all this shit out.. gonna get a house t’gether and get married, yeah? You listenin’?”
He nods shakily as she holds him, her hands brushing his sweaty hair at his temples, her kisses along his forehead keeping him grounded to reality. He swallows hard at her words about the future, his heart seizing up in his chest. But he nods again, desperately needing to hear more. He needs to hear about their future together, because it’s the only thing keeping him together right now, when he feels like nothing’s going right, his only way out is her.
“Yeah-yeah, ‘m listenin’.” He murmurs against her hot skin, his hands gripping her hips a little tighter, making sure she was really still there, and this wasn’t some hallucination.
“Good, keep breathin’. And y’know what else? Gonna have so many babies together, yeah? All of our little mini us’s runnin’ ‘round. We’re gonna be so happy, J. Soon as we get outta this mess.”
The very thought of having kids with her has him choking up again.
He can picture it all so clearly, the cozy fish shack by the marsh, a whole football team of kiddos, the little girls beautiful like their mama, getting dressed up all pretty, the rowdy boys the spitting image of JJ, with unruly blonde hair as big blue eyes, tackling and wrestling with each other on the grass outside whilst he tries to teach them to fish.
He can’t help but grip her tighter at the imagery flashing through his clouded mind, ringed fingers digging into her hips.
“Lotsa babies. Lotsa babies. Our babies. Promise?”
She nods with a soft smile, eyes reflecting the same expression as his when his eyes meet hers, glazed over and filled with an emotion unlabelled. Her thumbs swipe at his under eyes, wiping away the hot tears, careful to avoid any gashes or bruises.
“Promise. But none o’ that’s gonna happen if you don’t make it through tonight, baby. You gotta breathe for me.”
Of course she’s exaggerating, and it’s in a hope to bring a little light to the emotional rollercoaster he’s going through right now, and she’s on the same ride internally, but she needs to be strong, for him.
He lets out a shaky exhale, his chest heaving against hers as he forces his body to breathe.
In, and out, In, and out, In, and out-
He wants that life. With her. A life with her in a homey beach shack, a physical place he can call home, instead of the girl he’s holding in his arms.
In, and out, In, and out, In, and out.
But the only way he’s going to get that life is by surviving, together and by getting through tonight, together.
He slowly nods, squeezing her hips again.
“M breathin’.. ‘M breathin’..”
She nods tearfully, sniffling and swiping at her own eyes before he can see them. “Good.. that’s good..” She mumbles in praise, hands still holding his face and stroking at his cheeks with her thumbs gently. “Can you look at me a sec?” She’s careful to keep her touch featherlight over any bruises.
He nods shakily, slowly lifting his tired eyes to look at her, the day weighing heavy on his shoulders and now he’d really let everything out, he was exhausted. His cheeks are still tear stained and his chest heaving. He slowly brings a hand up, cupping the side of her face so he can run his thumb along her tear stained jaw.
“Lookin’.” He mumbles, breath hitching.
“You breathin’ properly now?” She mumbles, jaw moving under his calloused palm as she eyes him sweetly, eyes reflecting all the love he feels for her in this moment.
He lets out a shaky exhale, his eyes slowly raking over her face, taking in all her features like he’d never seen them before, and he’s lost count of how many times he’s got lost in her tonight.
She’s beautiful, he thinks to himself. Stunning in an effortless way, always has been. Like she woke up this morning and was effortlessly gorgeous.
His hand is still on her face, his thumb brushing against her skin.
“Yeah.. yeah baby, ‘m breathin’ normal. You’re makin’ it all messed up ‘gain, though.”
He mumbles, breathing a little heavily out of his nose and it tickles at her skin, a soft smile makes its way onto her face at the look in his eyes, completely enamoured by her.
She lets a breath of laughter slip from her nose, it’s soft and sweet and his eyes visibly soften at the sound, ears perking up.
“You’re so handsome, J.” She mumbles, thumb never stopping it’s comforting ministrations against the damp skin of his cheek.
Her touch on his skin makes him shiver, his mind and body always being so receptive to her. He wants to hide his face when he calls her handsome. He doesn’t think he’s handsome. Hot, sure, he’s been called that many a time. Pretty, meh, makes his heart flutter a little when you mumble it against his ear in bed, but he’d never admit it. But handsome? He’s not handsome.
He swallows hard, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he averts his gaze.
“Don’t. ‘M not handsome..” He mutters under his breath.
Her heart breaks a little at his immediate denial of the compliment.
“You are, J.” She mumbles, hand coming under his jaw to lift his gaze back to hers.
“You are, JJ.” She reassures him again, making sure he really knows it, believes it.
“‘n our babies are gonna be too.”
His heart is doing the fluttering thing again, his stomach flip flopping inside of him as he meets her gaze.
Babies, plural.
Oh, Jesus.
The thought of having little babies running around looking like the perfect mix of the both of you has him reeling. He’s always had a hard time picturing his future, but mostly the father part, after everything he’s been through he could never see it for himself. But with her, the image never seemed so impossible.
He lets out a shaky breath, a tear slipping down his rosy cheek, fingers squeezing at her hip again.
“You think so?”
“I know so.” She smiles, thumb stroking over a larger bruise at his temple.
“‘N I know things are hard right now, but we’re gonna get through this rough patch together, yeah? We can sleep here, at the lighthouse, we’ll get jobs, then eventually buy a house, get married..” She speaks softly, the wind picking up a little and making her cheeks cold and frost bitten. They’re sixteen and homeless, but all they need is each other.
That night they hold each other closer than ever before, knocking out on the old mattress up in the look out tower, limbs tangled together and content just for the night. JJ had calmed down now, stripped down to just his underwear, her too, pressed up against his good side in bed, head rested against his shoulder as she sleeps soundly, for the first time in what feels like forever.
JJ eventually manages to fall asleep, too, her previous words on his mind all through his slumber, dreaming of Maybank family fishing days, and the beautiful house that he would raise his babies in, the love of his life by his side, dreaming of a future where he wasn’t ashamed of his last name, and everyone he loved dearly shared it with him.
148 notes · View notes
cherryxbooo · 16 hours ago
Text
You deserve only the best
Summary: Y/n falls for her best friend Carlos, but after he introduces his new lover, she discovers his true intentions. Heartbroken, she tries to move on.
Reader x Carlos Sainz
Genre: fluff/angst
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Carlos Sainz had been my best friend for as long as I could remember.
We shared everything, inside jokes, moments of laughter, and a bond that felt unbreakable.
For years, we had been inseparable. Yet, for just as long, I had harbored feelings for him that I had kept hidden.
The truth was, I was in love with him, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I was terrified of ruining our friendship, which meant the world to me.
So, I stayed silent, even as my heart would race whenever he would act affectionate toward me, kissing my cheek, calling me pet names like "mi amor" or "querida," or giving me those long, lingering glances that made me believe he might feel the same.
It was complicated, especially when he’d kissed me a few times, nothing too serious, but enough to leave me wondering if something more could come from it.
I wanted to believe that he felt the same, but I was too afraid to make the first move, too afraid of pushing him away.
Then, one fateful day, everything changed.
We were at the paddock during one of his races.
The excitement in the air was palpable, the sound of engines roaring, the buzz of fans, the rush of adrenaline.
It was a typical race day, but something caught my eye that I hadn’t expected to see, Carlos talking to a girl.
A random girl. She was standing next to him, laughing, clearly comfortable in his presence.
I felt a twinge of jealousy course through me as I watched them. I didn’t know who she was, but something about the way they were standing so close made my stomach twist.
I immediately tried to push the feeling aside, but it was impossible. I needed answers.
I couldn’t just ignore it, so I approached Lando, who had become one of my closest friends over time.
I figured he might know who she was.
“Hey, Lando,” I began, trying to sound casual. “Do you know who that girl is? The one with Carlos?”
Lando glanced over, then shrugged. “I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve seen her before. Why? You don’t like her or something?”
I gave a small laugh, though it didn’t reach my eyes. “No, I’m just curious.”
Lando gave me a knowing look but didn’t push further. “You should ask Carlos, though. He’ll tell you.”
I nodded, though my mind was already racing.
I made my way back to the Ferrari garage, trying to shake the knot in my stomach.
I wasn’t ready to confront him, but I had to. I needed answers.
When I got there, Carlos spotted me right away. “Y/N!” he called out, a wide smile lighting up his face.
He waved me over, and I walked toward him, hoping to mask the turmoil inside me.
As soon as I got closer, he introduced the girl who had been standing next to him earlier.
“This is Sofia,” Carlos said, his voice filled with warmth. “My girlfriend.”
The ground seemed to fall out from under me. My heart sank into my stomach, and for a moment, I couldn’t find my breath.
My hands suddenly felt clammy, and I forced myself to smile, though it felt more like a grimace.
“Nice to meet you, Sofia,” I said, my voice steady, even though I felt anything but.
I turned quickly, excusing myself from their presence, and walked away before they could see the hurt that flashed across my face.
I barely made it to the restroom before the tears started falling.
I locked myself in a stall, letting my emotions spill out.
Why had I been so foolish to believe that Carlos could feel the same? I had spent so much time hiding my feelings, convincing myself that he might care for me, but here he was, with a new girlfriend.
But why would he lead me on? Kiss me, hug me, cuddle me, give me pet names?
Was it because I was too naive which made him take advantage of me?
Clearly.
He had never given me any reason to think otherwise, he had always been affectionate, always flirted, but it was all in my head, wasn’t it?
He never saw me as more than a friend. Just as someone to pass time with.
After a few minutes of crying, I wiped my face, took a deep breath, and told myself to stop.
Carlos didn’t deserve my tears. I wasn’t his girlfriend. I had no right to feel like this.
I walked out of the restroom, determined to leave the paddock. I couldn’t bear to stay and watch him with her.
I needed to put myself first.
As I walked toward the exit, I bumped into Lando.
He took one look at my tear-streaked face and immediately pulled me into a hug.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.
I shook my head, unable to speak for a moment. “I can’t do it, Lando. I can’t stay here and watch him with her. It hurts too much.”
Lando pulled back slightly, his eyes soft. “You don’t have to stay. You know you can always come to my garage.”
I smiled weakly at him, grateful for his kindness. “I need some time alone, Lando. But thank you.”
He nodded understandingly. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
I hugged him tightly before walking away.
I knew Lando understood, he was the only one who knew how I felt about Carlos.
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Back in my hotel room later that evening, I let myself cry. The tears came without warning, a flood of emotions that I had kept buried for so long.
They were painful, but I needed them. They had been building up for weeks, months, even years because I had been lying to myself.
I had let Carlos get too close to my heart, pretending he was everything I needed, hoping he would eventually realize that we were meant to be together.
I had allowed myself to become wrapped up in his promises, those little gestures that I now realized had only ever been casual flirtations.
The kisses on my cheek that made my heart race.
The way he would hold me close for just a second longer than necessary, as if our closeness was more than just friendship.
I had convinced myself those moments meant something.
But now, all I had was the overwhelming truth that I had been foolish.
Carlos didn’t want me. He had never truly wanted me.
But more than anything, I was angry at myself. How had I let him take up so much space in my life without ever truly giving me what I deserved?
I had spent so much time convincing myself that he would come around, that he would eventually see how perfect we were for each other.
But he had never promised me anything. He never made me a priority.
And when it came down to it, when he found someone else, I was just... nothing.
I was left standing there, heartbroken, all the while wondering if it was somehow my fault.
But as the night dragged on, something shifted within me. The tears slowed, and I wiped my face with the back of my hand.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I didn’t recognize the girl staring back at me, the one who had let Carlos walk all over her, the one who had been too afraid to face the truth.
It was time to change.
I couldn’t keep doing this. I couldn’t keep holding onto something that wasn’t real.
It wasn’t Carlos who needed to change; it was me. I needed to find my own happiness.
I had been so wrapped up in waiting for Carlos to realize how great we could be together that I had forgotten to love myself first.
The truth was, I had allowed him to use me. I had been there for him when he needed me, while he toyed with my emotions, knowing that he had me hooked.
I had been loyal, caring, and patient, but none of that mattered to him.
It was time for me to stop chasing after a love that had never been meant for me. Carlos didn’t deserve me.
I swallowed hard, the weight of the realization sinking in. I wasn’t perfect, but I had so much to offer.
I deserved someone who would see me, appreciate me, and treat me with the respect I had given him.
I wasn’t going to wait around any longer.
It was time to focus on myself, to heal, and to become the best version of me that I could be.
I was worthy of real love, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
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Weeks passed, and I slowly started to feel the fog lift.
I spent more time on self-care; going to the gym, reading books I had long ignored, and enjoying the things I loved without the cloud of uncertainty hanging over me.
It wasn’t easy.
Some days were better than others. But I was finally starting to feel like myself again.
I spent a lot of time with my friends, especially Lando.
He had been such a rock for me through everything, and I could never thank him enough for always having my back.
One afternoon, we were having lunch together when he looked at me, his eyes full of concern.
“How are you really holding up?” he asked, his voice soft but insistent.
I sighed, leaning back in my chair.
I had been trying to push everything down, but Lando could see through me.
“Honestly? I’m not doing great. But I’m getting there, Lando. Slowly, but surely.”
He nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Have you heard from Carlos?”
The question hit me like a punch in the gut.
I tried to act unaffected, but the truth was, I hadn’t heard from him since that day at the paddock.
He hadn’t called, texted, or even checked in on me.
“No. Not since that day. I haven’t heard a word from him,” I said, my voice tight.
Lando frowned, shaking his head. “That’s messed up. He’s been distancing himself, huh?”
I nodded, my chest tightening as I remembered the way Carlos had moved on so easily.
It stung, but I didn’t want to dwell on it anymore.
“He’s got Sofia now. I don’t think he cares about me at all. And honestly? I’m done caring. He made his choice.”
Lando’s face softened, and he reached across the table to give my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“You’re doing so much better, Y/N. I’m proud of you.”
I smiled at him, a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Lando. It means a lot to me.”
We spent the rest of the lunch talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company.
For the first time in weeks, I felt like I was starting to come back to life.
I had been so consumed by Carlos and his inability to see my worth, but now I realized that I didn’t need him. I was enough on my own.
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A month passed, and I was feeling stronger than ever.
I had rediscovered my love for life, for the things that made me happy.
I was no longer sitting around waiting for Carlos to give me the validation I craved.
I was content on my own.
One day, I was supporting Lando at a race, as I always did.
I was walking down the hallway of the paddock when I spotted Carlos talking to Sofia.
They were standing close together, whispering to each other, but as I got closer, I couldn’t help but overhear snippets of their conversation.
They were fighting. Loudly.
I turned the corner and kept walking, but my mind was racing. I didn’t want to get involved in their drama, but it felt strange.
For a second, I wondered if Carlos was starting to see the same thing I had.
Maybe Sofia wasn’t as perfect as he thought she was.
I didn’t care. I didn’t need him to come back to me, I had moved on, or so I thought.
When I got back to McLaren’s garage, I asked Lando,
“Have you heard anything about Carlos and Sofia?”
He shrugged. “I’ve heard they’ve been fighting a lot lately. He’s been acting... different.”
“I think he’s starting to see her true colors.” I said, feeling a strange sense of vindication.
Lando nodded, agreeing with me.
“Could be. But don’t waste your energy on it, Y/N. You’re better off without him.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Lando was right.
I had spent too much of my time focusing on someone who didn’t deserve me. I was finally free.
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A week later, I was running late to meet Lando for lunch.
As I rushed through the hallway, I accidentally bumped into someone.
Papers flew everywhere, and I quickly apologized, bending down to help gather them up.
But when I looked up, my breath caught in my throat.
Standing in front of me was a man who was everything I wasn’t expecting.
Tall, dark-haired, wearing a sharp suit that clung to his broad shoulders.
His smile was warm, magnetic.
There was something about him that made me feel instantly at ease, yet also strangely excited.
“It’s alright,” he said, his voice smooth and confident.
“But you’re in a rush, huh?”
I laughed, trying to hide my flustered reaction. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
We finished gathering the papers, and when our eyes met again, there was a spark. It was undeniable.
“You sure you’re not in too much of a rush?” he asked, a teasing smile curling on his lips.
I smiled back, shaking my head. “No, I’m good. Just feeling bad about bumping into you.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Well, the best way to make it up to me is by giving me your number.”
My heart skipped a beat, and for a second, I couldn’t quite process what was happening.
But then I realized... he was serious.
I had been so wrapped up in Carlos’s drama for so long that I had forgotten how to enjoy moments like this.
I had forgotten that there were good people out there who actually valued me for who I was.
I blinked in surprise but couldn’t hide my grin. “Okay. You’ve got my number.”
He chuckled, clearly pleased. “I’m Pablo, by the way. I’ll be in touch.”
I watched him walk away, a rush of excitement swirling in my chest.
Maybe this was what I needed, a fresh start, someone who actually saw me.
As I rushed to meet Lando, I couldn’t help but smile.
“Who was that?” Lando asked, eyes twinkling with curiosity.
"His name's Pablo. We bumped into each other, and one thing led to another. He asked for my number."
I said, unable to hide the grin on my face.
Lando raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. “Look at you, getting a man.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t suppress the grin. “We'll see where this leads."
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The next weekend, the excitement was palpable.
I had agreed to go on a date with Pablo after weeks of messages, calls, and a growing connection.
I was ready to experience this new chapter with someone who treated me like I deserved.
The day arrived, and I spent the afternoon getting ready, wanting to look my best.
I carefully picked out a beautiful dress, a deep emerald green that accentuated my curves, with a delicate lace overlay.
It was elegant, but not too flashy.
I wore my hair down, letting it cascade in soft waves, and my makeup was done elegantly, with just a hint of smokey eyeshadow and a natural, rosy lip.
I was almost finished when I heard the sound of the doorbell ring.
My heart skipped a beat.
As I walked to the door, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness.
When I opened it, I was met with Pablo, standing there with a charming smile, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
"For you, beautiful." His voice was warm, and his eyes gleamed with admiration.
The flowers were soft pastel colors, delicate and fragrant.
I took them from his hands with a smile, feeling my cheeks flush under his gaze.
“Thank you, Pablo. They’re gorgeous.” I felt a wave of appreciation for how thoughtful he was.
He gave a small laugh, eyes twinkling.
“Not as gorgeous as you.” His words made my heart flutter, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Pablo was always so attentive, and there was something incredibly genuine about him.
As we walked toward his car, I couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly he carried himself.
He opened the door of a Mercedes AMG for me, a sleek, expensive car that screamed wealth.
It was clear that this man was not just well-off; he was successful.
I knew a thing or two about cars.
Lando, my best friend, was obsessed with them, and wouldn't shut up about them.
He had so many that his garage looked like a car dealership.
The moment I saw the car, I immediately recognized the luxury, and I couldn’t help but feel impressed.
“Wow, this is gorgeous.” I couldn’t help but comment as I got in, still absorbing the interior.
“I’m glad you like it. It’s a little over the top, but sometimes, you just have to enjoy the finer things.”
He chuckled, settling into the driver’s seat. “But tonight’s about you, not the car.”
The ride to the restaurant was filled with pleasant conversation.
We talked about everything, his work, my passions, the places we wanted to visit.
He was thoughtful, but also funny and charming in a way that made me feel completely at ease.
The smooth hum of the engine only added to the calming atmosphere, and before I knew it, we had arrived at a stunning restaurant.
As we entered, the ambiance was just as sophisticated as the car.
Dim lighting, soft music playing in the background, it was the kind of place you came for an unforgettable night.
We were escorted to a private table, and as we sat down, I felt the weight of the evening's beauty surrounding us.
Everything about the night felt magical.
Over dinner, we continued to share stories and laughs.
I learned more about Pablo, his roots in Spain, his work as a CEO, and how he’d built his empire from the ground up.
It was a little ironic, hearing his story.
A Spanish man, an international success, yet here he was, sitting across from me, making me feel like the most important person in the world.
“You know, I can’t believe you’re a CEO,” I laughed, a little taken aback by how humble and down-to-earth he was.
“It’s almost too perfect, don’t you think? Spanish, successful, charming…”
He smiled, a hint of pride in his expression.
“It’s been a journey, but I love what I do.”
Then, his smile softened. “But I’m happier that I get to spend this time with you.”
I blushed, looking down at my plate for a moment, feeling a sense of warmth wash over me.
Pablo wasn’t just charming, he was genuine, and that made him stand out even more.
It felt like I was finally being seen for who I truly was, not just the exterior.
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Months passed, and my relationship with Pablo deepened. We spent time together, growing closer with each passing day.
It was clear that he was everything Carlos had never been: supportive, caring, and loving in a way that made me feel truly special.
One evening, after a romantic dinner, as we strolled through the park, he stopped and turned to face me, his eyes filled with sincerity.
“Y/N, I like you a lot,” he said, his voice soft and serious.
“I want to be with you. Will you be my girlfriend?”
My heart swelled with happiness, and without hesitation, I responded,
“Yes, Pablo. I’d love that.”
It was a moment that felt like the beginning of something incredible, and over the months that followed, Pablo continued to prove that he was a man who meant every word he said.
He made me feel loved, respected, and cherished every single day.
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Now, it was Friday again. This time, Lando had invited both Pablo and me to his race.
I was excited, Lando had always been a great friend, and it was nice that he and Pablo got along so well.
It made me happy to see the two important men in my life getting along.
Pablo and I were getting ready at the hotel, and I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy.
I wore a simple but elegant outfit, jeans and a fitted blouse, comfortable yet stylish.
As we walked hand-in-hand to the paddock, my heart was full.
The sound of the crowd, the engines revving, the electric energy in the air, it all felt so alive.
We met up with Lando, and he gave us both a big hug, making us feel welcome in his world.
“Hey, you two! Glad you could make it.” Lando’s smile was infectious.
He and Pablo exchanged pleasantries, and I could see the camaraderie between them.
It made my heart swell, seeing how well they got along.
After chatting with Lando for a while, he had to leave to prepare for the race.
Pablo and I stayed behind, walking around the paddock, taking in the excitement.
But then, Pablo excused himself to use the restroom.
As I stood alone for a moment, I caught a glimpse of Carlos out of the corner of my eye.
My stomach twisted, but it was too late to run.
He spotted me immediately and started walking in my direction.
When he finally reached me, he greeted me with an awkward smile, his usual confidence nowhere to be found.
“Y/N, it’s been a while.”
I raised an eyebrow, my voice cool as I responded, “Has it?”
Carlos could sense the tension.
Carlos’ voice faltered slightly as he spoke, the words tumbling out quickly.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. I should’ve reached out to you sooner.” His eyes met mine, genuine regret flickering in them.
“I miss you. I’ve missed you so much.”
I crossed my arms, trying to keep my composure.
“Carlos, it’s not that simple.” I kept my tone cool, almost distant.
“You didn’t reach out because you didn’t care. You chose not to.”
He took a deep breath, his gaze softening.
“I know… I messed up. I get it now, Y/N. I broke up with Sofia. I’ve realized that you’re the one I love. I was just too stubborn to see it before.”
I couldn’t help but let out a sharp, bitter laugh.
“Carlos, if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have been with her in the first place. You wouldn't have used me for your own pleasure.”
My voice was steady, but the pain was evident. “You don’t get to come back just because you made a mistake.”
His expression hardened, but I could see the vulnerability in his eyes.
“I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. I was confused, and I didn’t know what I wanted. But now, I know. I want you.”
He stepped closer, his voice soft and pleading.
“Please, just give me one more chance.”
The words stung, a mixture of old feelings and fresh wounds reopening.
I shook my head, pushing my emotions down.
“Carlos, I’m not that person anymore. You don’t get to rewrite history.”
My voice remained firm, the hurt too deep to ignore.
“You had your chance, and you chose someone else. I can’t just forget that.”
Carlos didn't expect that he was probably used to me always giving in.
“I didn’t want you anyways,” Carlos sneered, his words biting.
“I would’ve just used you like I did in the past, all the times you were too naive to even acknowledge that. Did you really think I wanted you in the first place?”
My heart stung at his words, but I refused to let him see that.
I could feel the old ache in my chest, the hurt from everything he had put me through, but I wasn’t going to let him win with his manipulation.
I stood tall, my gaze unwavering as I faced him.
“You’re pathetic, Carlos,” I said coldly, my voice steady.
“You never wanted me. You wanted control. And I’m done being your puppet.”
His eyes widened at my comeback, as if he hadn't expected me to stand up for myself.
But I wasn’t that girl anymore, the one who let him play with my emotions, the one who waited for him to change.
“So no, Carlos, I didn’t think you wanted me. Not then, and certainly not now.”
Before he could respond, I felt a familiar hand on my waist, and Pablo appeared, towering above me, his presence protective.
“There was a long line at the bathroom,” Pablo said smoothly, his voice calm but firm.
“Sorry it took so long, mi amor.” He leaned in, kissing my cheek before turning back to Carlos.
Carlos was frozen, staring at Pablo in disbelief.
“Mi amor?” He repeated, clearly stunned by the affection between us.
Pablo didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, I’m Pablo Lopez. Nice to meet you, Carlos Sainz right? Best of luck with the race.”
His tone was polite, but there was an edge to it, one that made it clear he knew exactly who Carlos was and what had happened between us.
Carlos was speechless, clearly thrown off.
As I turned to walk away with Pablo, I heard Carlos’ voice call out to me, and I couldn’t ignore the familiar tug in my chest.
I stopped and turned slightly, reluctantly facing him again.
He walked toward us with a hesitant expression, clearly unsure of how to approach the situation.
"Y/N..." he began, his voice softer than before.
"Would you... would you want to watch the race from my garage? Like old times? I could really use your support today."
For a moment, I felt the weight of those words.
Old times. The days when I thought we’d always be in each other’s lives. But that wasn’t who I was anymore.
I didn’t owe him anything.
Before I could say anything, I felt Pablo’s arm tighten around me, his presence a strong shield by my side.
He didn’t hesitate for a second as he stepped forward, his tone calm but unwavering.
“No,” Pablo said firmly, his voice carrying the kind of authority that made it clear there was no room for negotiation.
"We’re with Lando today. We’re supporting him from his garage."
His words were a stark contrast to Carlos’ hopeful tone, and I could see Carlos' face falter at the certainty in Pablo’s voice.
Carlos blinked, taken aback by the decisiveness in Pablo’s response. He seemed to pause, trying to process what had just happened.
The realization hit him like a punch in the gut. His eyes flickered between Pablo and me, and I could see the understanding settle in.
He’d messed up, and he had no one to blame but himself.
“We’re going to Lando’s garage,” Pablo added smoothly, a subtle but deliberate edge to his words.
“We’ve already made plans. Best of luck with the race.”
Carlos opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He was speechless.
The look on his face was a mixture of surprise and regret, as if he was finally starting to understand just how much he’d fumbled this entire situation.
I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfaction at seeing him so flustered, but I reminded myself to stay composed.
This was his fault, and the reality of what he had lost was only just beginning to hit him.
“Let’s go, mi amor,”
Pablo said gently, placing his hand on my lower back as he led me away, giving Carlos one last glance that left no room for misunderstanding.
As we began to walk away from Carlos, I felt a surge of relief, but Pablo wasn’t quite finished yet.
He shot a glance back over his shoulder at Carlos, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
The tension in the air was thick, and Pablo, always confident, was going to make sure Carlos knew just how badly he’d messed up.
With a sly tone, Pablo called over his shoulder,
“If you wouldn’t have fumbled this bad, you might’ve had the privilege of having this beauty with you... but guess not.”
Carlos froze, his expression going from shock to something like embarrassment in an instant.
He didn’t even have time to respond before we turned our backs, walking away with our hands firmly clasped together.
I couldn’t help but laugh softly at Pablo’s words. He was never one to hold back, but the way he handled that moment made me feel even more secure in the choice I had made.
As we walked down the hallway, Pablo leaned closer to me, his arm brushing mine, his voice softening.
“I’m just stating facts, mi amor,” he whispered, his eyes glinting with amusement.
I smiled up at him, shaking my head slightly. “You’re something else, you know that?”
“Only for you,” he replied, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.
And just like that, the past felt even more distant, as if it never even mattered anymore.
The farther we got from Carlos, the more I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.
I was with someone who truly valued me, someone who had proven time and time again that I was more than just an afterthought.
And as we made our way to Lando’s garage, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing I had made the right choice.
As we walked toward the garage, Pablo turned to me with a concerned look. “Are you okay, mi amor?”
I smiled, my heart full from the kindness he showed. “I’m more than okay, because of you.”
He smiled back, pulling me in for a gentle kiss.
“I’ll always be here for you, no matter what."
"You deserve only the best."
"Te quiero, amor.”
Before I could respond, Lando’s voice echoed from behind us, shouting,
“Ewww, get a room!”
We laughed, but I could see the joy in Lando’s face.
He was happy for me, happy that I had finally found someone who made me feel truly loved and valued.
And as Pablo and I walked toward the rest of our evening, hand in hand, I knew without a doubt that I had found my happiness.
The past was behind me. My future was with Pablo.
The end
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dvmbification · 3 days ago
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PLEASE, GIRL, YOU HOLD ME NOW ft. sunday
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( synopsis ) you don’t love him anymore, and he knows that himself. but whatever he could do to make you stay, he’d do it, as he needs you so much–needs you like oxygen. he might just lock you up in a pretty cage, pretty enough to match your face, to keep you safe with him forever.you're his love belt, and you know that yourself.
( tags ) sunday x fem!reader, slight angst, mild ñšfw, böñdágé kîñk, vöÿéürîšm, he ćümš in his pants, fîñgérîñg, possessiveness, one sided love, sunday is a weirdo, lots of angsty pining, sad make out session
( wc ) 2.2k
( toni's note ) repost again again again!!! this work is one of my favs so far.. I edited and added a bit btw !! gift for @nvuy :3 LOVE YA LOTS, MISAAAA !!
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with the tall, stained glass window left open, a calm breeze enters your room. the soft moonlight brightens the place, and bounces off of your skin. this is it, you’re staring at yourself in the mirror, in your white nightdress, unsure of what you’re even doing. it’s weird, isn’t it? you were so infatuated with sunday, harping on about him to everyone you came across, anyone who even mentioned his name. but now, here you are–preparing yourself and your belongings, to flee this mansion of his, and the grasp of someone who was once your lover–at heart, at least. you’re startled at the sudden but gentle knock at your door. the very door creaks open to reveal a groggy sunday peeping through the cracks. fuck, he shouldn’t even be awake right now. “my dove, where have your things gone?” he croaks, rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his palm.
“ah. i’m just.. rearranging my room.” it hurts, it’s your first time lying to him, ever. you hope he was tired enough to have whatever you said slip his mind, but he saw right through you and your words–and you’re pretty sure you know that yourself. he frowns. “then, may you explain to me why all of your things have disappeared, even outside of your room?” he crosses his arms, and that’s when you both knew that you fucked up. maybe, just maybe, you could save yourself right now. “about that,” you kick away the suitcase which laid beside your feet. “i’d just like everything that belongs to me, y’know, inside my room–” “don’t lie to me, love.” he looks away to focus on the unholy amount of luggages and cases behind you. welp. as he takes a few steps towards you, your legs start to quiver in fear. the silence that follows pierces your ears, leaving you practically deaf.
and before you know it, he’s inches away from your face. “you know what i can do, right?” you hesitatingly nod your head, knowing what he’s capable of, and knowing that he can get anything out of you. “then why should i have to get it out of you, before you tell me yourself?” there’s genuine hurt in his eyes, and it hurts you even more. “i—i don’t know.” you choke out a pathetic response, throat already closing up and eyes swelling with tears threatening to fall down. “please.” he’s about to fall on his knees. you've made up your mind, and with a heavy heart, it was all or nothing. “sunday,” your voice falters. he focuses entirely on you now, wiping the tears building up at the corners of your eyes. “i don’t love you anymore.” his stare widens. “say that again, dear?” he sounds distraught, unable to believe what you said just now. your lips purse, unable to let those five words slip out again. “i don’t love you anymore, sunday.” his own throat closes up, speechless. he felt as though the world was caving in on him, his life crumbling apart. he never thought he’d hear that from you, little ol’ you, who loved him so dearly, and promised to do so until death. 
he chuckles a little, dryly, denying the bitter truth that just came out of your mouth. “you’re kidding. right?” his voice is cracking, the sorrow within him seeping out. his lips curl into a smile full of hope, hope in the fact that you’re lying to him again. but it pains him to know that you’re not lying, and it’s very much true, at the back of his mind, he could tell that you’ve fallen out of love lately. every romantic gesture or sign of affection he’d show every other while, would elicit nothing from you back. did he make you mad? or have you felt pity for his love for you this entire time? no, that couldn’t be. sunday can pull the truth out of anyone, but he’s never had to do it with you. you’re an honest, earnest person, and you both know that. it’s not like you to lie, so why would you? “right?” this time, his voice has a threatening tone to it, chilling you down to the bone. he cups your face to look you deep in the eye, looking for just one yes, somewhere inside there.
“i’m not kidding.” you gently push him away, telling him for the nth time, that you really don’t love him at all anymore. “then what’s next?” sunday reaches out to hold your hand, now caressing it with his thumb. “i’m leaving in the morning, with everything else.” your eyes avert his gaze, which you’re sure now hold a grudge on you. but he’s not like that–to hold a grudge on someone who once loved him, right? “no,” he smiles, a breathy chuckle leaving through his teeth. “no, no, no, no..” sunday brings his hands to his head. you feel a rush of fear down your spine. “you’re not going anywhere. you should know this.” at that moment, a sudden feeling of drowsiness hit you. feeling like collapsing, the world around you spins, and in a state of total relaxation, you fall to the ground–but before you reach the floor, sunday catches you as you faint.
after a while, you stir awake–and wake up to be inside a large, golden cage, adorned in jewels and gemstones. it’s magnificent–the moonlight shines on each singular gem, reflecting the colors onto your face. you try to feel your face, and around the cage–but your hands stay in place. you find yourself to be in a kneeling position and tightly tied up in rope–with your hands bonded together above your head–and ankles separated, tied to the bars of the cage you kneel in. it’s an uncomfortable feeling, even your waist is tied back to the cage. you struggle and panic in place, unable to slip the rope off. “it’s no use,” sunday mutters, walking towards your helpless figure. “even if you found a way to untie yourself, you wouldn’t budge an inch, anyway.” you grunt and whine, doing your best to even move a muscle, but to no avail. 
“let me go.” you pleaded on your knees, quite literally. but he denied each and every one of your empty promises, promises to stay. “i know what you’re thinking–again, don’t lie to me.” “get out of my mind.” you hiss, tears threatening to break and fall down your face. he can’t promise that, as you can’t promise to stay no longer anyway. “please. stay here with me.” he sounds mad, furious, even–but he treats you so gently–each time he touches your face or hand, he does it with such care, like you’re glass. it pains your heart, knowing the anger and sorrow he holds deep inside him, but he still handles you so carefully like you’re the most delicate of porcelain dolls.
his eyes flicker at your neck, covered in marks he believes he’s never left. an empty feeling fills his gut, he feels sick to his stomach–knowing that someone else has touched you. practically crawling to you, he proceeds to leave trails of gentle kisses along the crook of your neck. you silently plead for him to go on by craning your head to the side, giving sunday more access. “why..” his voice rasps, shaking uncontrollably. you let it go, and start to sob out of sympathy for the man. “i’m sorry.” “no you’re not.” but you know that he knows, that you’re telling the truth. you truly feel sorry for him, and you show it through your heavy tears, rolling down your cheeks. 
“don’t cry, my dove.” he says so softly, with no sign of anger this time. his thumb reaches up to wipe away the tears which stain your face, while he continues to leave small bruises and bites on your neck. “can you tell me why you don’t love me anymore?” “no.” even through knowing your mind and thoughts, he couldn’t find out why you would fall out of love, either. “do you even know?” his want to know about this was genuine. “..no.” you sniffle and hiccup.
“how do i make you love me again?” 
“i don’t know.”
 “can i..” his words trail off, but you know what he’s talking about. “please.” he unbuttons your nightdress, slipping it down to your hips. you can see it in his eyes that he’s disappointed. “how do you not love me,” your waist spasms as he traces circles right above your cunt. “when you’re this wet?” you couldn’t help but arch your back and whine as his other hand traced your spine, sending tingling sensations down it. he purposefully avoids your wet cunt, even your breasts, as he carefully feels around your body, barely brushing his fingers across your skin. it’s so sweet–it’s sweet how delicately he handles you, how he softly speaks to you, but it feels like torture–it felt torturous how forgiving his touch was, or how he was telling you your own thoughts, nitpicking at your own lies to him, to yourself. “can't..can’t help it..” your breath shakes and falters as you weakly smile.
sunday pulls away to take another look at you. it's perverted, degenerate, even—his thoughts bubble up like freshly popped soulglad, thoughts of how tempting you looked in the state you were, and thoughts of how badly he wanted to give in to those temptations. he's biting his lip, gritting his teeth, wiping away the sweat on his temple. how irresistible you were, always.
he unbuckles his pants to pull it down and push it aside, to reveal the very visible bulge in his underwear. “you wouldn’t mind?” he shifts his head to give you a pleading look. and as weird as it feels and looks, you let him. he groans, rubbing his palm against his clothed cock, circling his thumb at the tip. “i love you.” he repeats, on and on. you wish you could help him out, but all you could do was watch and grind your hips against the floor in desperation as he pleasures himself. this was also torturous. “c-close. i’m close.” in minutes, he finishes in his boxers, shooting his load inside not you, but nothing, this time. his dick twitches and quivers, softening up.
he moans. “you don’t know how much i love you,” bringing his hand to handle the bars of the cage behind you, he brings his mouth to your ear. “and how much this hurts me.” he lets go of you, and for the first time in a while, you see a few tears roll out of his eyes. the swelling of your heart worsens at seeing him cry, the pounding reaching your throat. “do you believe me?” “i always have.” you sniffle. you know that he believes you deserve a more harsh punishment, but he could never bring himself to it–just the thought of that makes you want to cry even more, because you know he loves you far more than you love him.
“you deserve worse."
“i know.” you weep.
with ease, sunday slips off his gloves in mere seconds, then lining his fingers up at your entrance, teasing your wet folds. your hips buck towards him, trying to get more friction in between your thighs–and he pushes them in. his fingers pump in and out, deep inside, buried inside your pussy. you moan and whine, still loving how good he makes you feel. “do you only love me for this?” “i.. i don’t love you at all.” you cry. well, now you’re just lying to yourself. sunday brings himself closer to your face as he continues to pleasure you, seeing every part of your face twitch in satisfaction.
his eyes flutter down to your lips, and lightly pecks them–those small pecks turning into long, passionate kisses. with a furrowed brow from all the pleasure, you give in and kiss him back. your tongues tie and twist around each other, eliciting moans from one another. tears continue to drip down your face like a continuous babbling creek, dribbling down your cheeks, all the way to drop from your chin. he kept on thrusting his fingers up your cunt, until you came all over them. waves and jolts crash and strike through you as you ride out your orgasm on his digits. he pulls away, both his fingers and lips, to see how pretty the view was—and how beautiful the moonlight looked on your face. “you’re beautiful.” you look down, averting his eyes full of sorrow. “stop.” you might as well close your eyes shut—as he could just make you look up. but he could also just make you open your eyes, there’s no winning here.
you’re forced to look back up at him, chin pinched between his index and thumb. the prolonged eye contact was nerve-wracking. “i’ll let you go.” “what? no—i’ll stay.” sunday rushes in to embrace you, it was uncalled for. even after what you just did together, it seemed weird to you to be this close after everything you had told him. “i don’t think you mean that.” he’s persistent on this, whether you’re telling the truth or not, he’d ignore it. “i really do.” your words seem truthful, laced with falseness. still caught in his embrace, you nudge him away the best you can—but he won’t let go, he needs you so badly, needs you wrapping him up from head to toe.
“oh god, i love you.” you blurt out randomly. it was then when he let go. he almost collapses after hearing what he was longing for from you, even if it were fake. you pant and sigh in between kisses, unable to catch your breath. “you mean it?” “..yeah.” maybe he could ignore the truth behind your lies for now, and bask in the bliss of your false affection, if it means you’ll stay with him forever.
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@ dvmbification ( formerly dumbification ) . do not repost or recycle my work.
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camcat1320 · 2 days ago
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Thanks for the inspo! The following are writing ramblings of an obsessed fanfic writer.
Book 4: Air, the Missing Element, Chapter 17.
Zuko and Katara sitting together watching Love Amongst the Dragons on Ember Island, trying to keep their relationship a secret from Aang. They can't hold hands but they INTERLOCK THEIR PINKIES. Sokka sees it, Aang doesn't. Aang tries to hold Katara's other hand but she retracts it. Toph sits next to Aang with her hand on the bench, hoping he'd reach for her. He doesn't.
During intermission, Toph talks to Suki, Sokka talks to Zuko, and Aang talks to Katara.
Suki let's Toph touch her small baby bump. Toph reveals Suki is having twin earthbenders (earthbenders are born during spring). Toph says she'll teach them and Suki asks Toph to be their honorary aunt.
Sokka, "so, you and my sister are dating." Zuko, "she told you?" Sokka, "no, but you did. Just now." They talk, Sokka warns about Aang, saying how when he was upset about Appa being stolen, he went into the Avatar state. I can't imagine how he would react if he found out about Katara and you dating. "As an older brother, I'm obligated to tell you to not go breaking my sister's heart." "I wouldn't dream of it." They shake hands water tribe style.
Katara tries to let Aang down gently, telling him that she just doesn't feel the same way about him. Aang swears that he won't stop until he makes her fall in love with him. Even if it takes years, he's still going to keep trying. "No, Aang, that's not-" "Just watch, Katara! I'm gonna make you love me one day!" He turns to go back to the theater. "No, I-" Katara sighs and slumps on the fencing.
Aang walks past Zuko rather chipper. "Hurry, Zuko! You're going to miss the play." "I'll be in shortly. Just gonna get some fresh air." Zuko goes out to see Katara slumped on the fence. "Did you tell him?" "I tried, but he wouldn't listen. I told him how I don't feel the same way towards him but he just saw it as a challenge." Katara starts to cry, "I don't want to hurt him but I don't see any other way out of this." Zuko wraps her in a hug, Katara cries into his shirt. "You don't have to do this alone. How about we tell him together?" Katara pulls back and looks up at Zuko. "Together?" Zuko wipes away a tear from her cheek, "Yes. Together, we can achieve anything, even the impossible." Katara smiles through the sadness. "Together then." Katara kisses Zuko under the beam of a beautiful moon.
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Please enjoy the barely rendered Yangvik
Well it’s like half rendered, but im saying it’s done for now😭😭
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fawningbruises · 6 hours ago
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For the ever-lovely @retquits. His Fields of Mistria OC Monroe and Hayden. I just really needed to draw (and write) for them.
The Ghosts That We Choose
For a long time, he only notices the faint peeling of white paint on the windowsill. Its edge is soaked in morning light. The blue kind, like a cosmic eye opening at the seam. He is vaguely aware of the sheets rustling behind him, and the quiet after.
And then a touch, linen-soft and warm, sends fire first down his spine and then through the hill of his bare shoulder. The scars. The thing that carved them there. He can’t help it when he sucks in the air through his teeth. In a hiss as cold and blue as the morning.
All at once, he feels the familiar flush of shame in his cheeks and the furrow of regret in Hayden’s brow.
“I’m sorry,” Hayden says. “I wasn’t thinking. Again.”
His hand withdraws. A stone in Monroe’s stomach takes its place.
“It’s not you.” Monroe, against his nature, presses as much insistence into the words as he can. Too much, it seems, when he hears his voice quivering on the brink of desperation instead. He says something he thought he had unlearned. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”
Hayden is quiet for a long moment. His sheer closeness is the warmth between them in the dark. Monroe knows he’s looking at him. Waiting.
Monroe half-turns to him. Even in the soft shadows of early morning, Hayden’s eyes still give off their own gentle light, like embers drowsing in a hearth.
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” A calm sigh. He runs a hand through his own dark hair. “Sometimes the body just remembers things we try to forget.”
Monroe can’t help just staring at him. The stone in his stomach shifts and he feels light. Hazy. Like the dawn. The blue kind. “I hope so.”
“How’s that?” Hayden asks, drawl soft and slow. Monroe does not miss the hesitation in it. If he were bolder, he would call it fear.
Monroe’s hand tightens around a fistful of sheets. But then he breathes deep, and leans back against Hayden’s chest so his head falls into the curve of his neck. “Because…”
He takes Hayden’s large hand and places it back on his shoulder. Over the scars. Monroe flinches only imperceptibly this time.
“…I want it to remember every single time you’ve ever touched me.”
“Starting now?” Hayden squeezes his shoulder gently. An impulse or an instinct or both, Monroe finds he absolutely adores it.
Hayden moves his head, beard brushing up against Monroe’s ear.
“Or now?”
Monroe’s breath hitches as Hayden dips down to kiss the base of his neck.
“Oh, believe me, it’s already started,” Monroe huffs, off-kilter. His vision’s just the slightest bit out of focus.
Hayden brings his other hand to the other side of Monroe’s pale neck, tucking ocean hair to the side as he holds him there. Whispers against his jaw with a “Well, I sure as blazes hope so.”
Monroe smiles shy in the morning light. It started so long ago.
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cherie-doll · 2 days ago
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Helloo >_< I hope ur having a good dayy, I was just wondering if you could do like a curly-haired reader with the cod men? :p stuff like helping reader w their routines, if the reader straightens it, or like just how they feel abt it? wtv you find easier to write!
- 🦇 (reserving an anon, hope thats all good! :3)
yay another anon reserved! ...wish i hadn't damaged my curly hair with three keratin treatments and straightening it like daily, it thinned out and the curls aren't consistent :/
⋆⋆Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto
Curly-Haired!Reader x COD Men
« Price...
he adores your hair in its natural state, even if you've constantly fried it by straightening it and think it's too frizzy now, there's nothing more that he loves than settling into bed after a long and hard day and spooning you, nuzzling his face into your neck and smelling the oil you've massaged into your hair
you mention how your curls seem to scratch at his face instead of caressing but he doesn't care, he's happy this way, on mornings he sleeps in and wakes up to immediately feel you still close to him and play with your hair
he doesn't care if it's messy, having slipped out of your bonnet, he loves the unruliness of it even if you don't, you complain about how you don't wake up to luscious locks or smooth straight hair, how constantly you have to hydrate it, but he just nods listening to you because he really does love it
« Ghost...
you think he couldn't care less about your hair but secretly he's admired it,
one day when you're tired of the routine of dealing with your hair you say you're going to cut it all off, get a really short haircut because you just can't deal with it anymore, Simon turns around real fast when he hears that
firmly says no, he doesn't want you cutting your hair, you have no idea how comforting it so for him to feel it when he's sitting on the living room couch, fast asleep and feeling your breath on his face as you lean over to place a kiss on his cheek
and those rare moments when your curls turn out nice he's the first to notice it, he doesn't really say much about it and you're wondering why he keeps staring at you; he's silently admiring them
« Soap...
the one who might be a little obnoxious about it, like he's the first one to notice when you straighten it, or of you leave it natural or do anything with it
since you're active and like to be busy doing things, you tie your hair up or keep it from falling onto your face with a hair bandana, he prefers to see you with your hair loose and will go pulling at your hair tie or whatever is keeping it together just to see it come down, he's able to get away before you can catch him
will stare at you with hearts in his eyes as you're fighting your hair, trying to get it to stay in a specific style but those difficult stands just won't keep down
« Gaz...
man is the one you yell for when it's hair wash day and you're already in the shower but forgot to bring your comb, it's a very specific one out of the set you own
you yell for him to hand you the brush but you own a ton, so he's holding up a different brush and every time you say it's not the one you need he has to go back to looking for another one and guessing which of the two he found could be the one
he also helps you apply cream to your hair, making sure it's evenly applied and hydrated, helps you untangle the knots in the back
« Roach...
he can't help but feel a little disappointed when he wanders into the bedroom to see you on the floor with a mirror, two different brushes/combs, hair claws and a straightener
you've been at it for almost two hours and you still need to apply oil to make the ends look less dry, all that and your arms hurt, soon as you see him you're making him help you divide your hair into sections to make sure you don't miss any curls that get away
it irks you when someone asks about your hair type and you can't say curly because they expect kinky, tightly coiled from root to end and don't understand that there's different types so you always respond with "damaged" lol
« Alejandro...
his hair gel seems to hold up better than yours does, so every time you do your hair you steal some of his and he wonders why he's having to go to the store so often to buy new gel
you probably shed a lot of hair, which often makes you question as to if you're finally going bald but that's just new hair coming in, Alejandro has to frequently shake out the blankets for any more knots of hair
he knows how insecure you can sometimes get when your hair doesn't curl perfectly but he reminds you how beautiful you really look, he also knows you being very particular about your routine so he tries to work around that, making plans for days you're likely to be less stressed about your hair
« Rudy...
knows how adamant you are to sticking to your washing routine, he knows the entire ritual you do every morning and night when styling your hair and then getting ready for bed, he won't move or change any products sitting on the bathroom counter or in the shower knowing you'll be using them
he's even changed out the pillowcases for silk ones instead because he read somewhere that those are just sm better for any hair type, he keeps your bonnets, hair claws and stuff you use for your hair organized and tidy, he cleans your brushes frequently and will go to pick up more hair product, just make sure you send him a pic or else he might get the wrong one
loves smelling your hair right after you've washed it because you apply the best smelling oils and creams and he can't resist doing so
« Phillip Graves...
he sometimes walks in to find you applying strange things into your hair... like the time he found you putting chia seeds on your hair after you had just washed it and was still wet, "you just washed it, why are-" "it's good for my hair"
the thing is when you apply some of these you have to let your hair sit and dry naturally, so it can be well past midnight and it's still not dry yet and he'll come get you looking all sleepy, squinting his eyes at the light you have turned on nagging for you to come to bed with him already
he loves it when you grow out your hair, despite it taking a lot longer to wash and such, likes to run his hair over your hair, careful not to tangle his fingers in because he'd disrupt it
whenever he sees an ad or commercial for something advertised towards those with curly hair he asks if you'd like to have it
« Makarov...
you never realized it but he goes into the bathroom after you're done doing your hair and looks at the products and stuff you've used, he keeps a tab on how much product you have left
so when you run out one morning he comes in and places a new bottle of that hair cream you so desperately need in your hand; how convenient
he lets you do whatever you want with your hair but he's prefer id you let it be, not that he hates to see you straighten your hair but you can notice him smiling a little when your curls turn out perfect, but you know how difficult that is
so he reluctantly hands over his card when you tell him you're going to a hair salon to get it straightened, he just tells you to make sure you booked the appointment with the nicest hairstylist you could find, he doesn't want them ruining your hair
« Keegan...
would it be funny if i told you he didn't know your hair was curly because you always straightened it until once he knocked on your door late at night when you hadn't styled it and he was taken slightly aback at the sight of your hair curling and framing your face
he says he wants to see you with your natural hair more often, but he doesn't know how long that'll take, with how long you've been straightening your hair there's a lot of damage to deal with before you get your curl pattern back, sometimes you get really frustrated but you remember how expensive those keratin treatments are and get right back to applying another hair mask
but he likes pulling at your hair watching if it'll coil again even if it annoys you
« König...
you've doted on him so much before he'd love to do the same for you, you don't like him messing around the kitchen much but he knows how much time it takes you to wash, comb, and dry your hair so he'd like to help you for once
he doesn't always know how to handle your hair so he sticks to massaging your scalp which does help you relax a lot, he used to want curls when he was younger, or at least some sort of wave in his hair but now he keeps his hair pretty short so he doesn't really think about that anymore like he used to
when cuddling in bed or sitting with you on the couch he always gets the temptation of just grabbing a fistful of your hair and scrunching the curls like he sees you do, instead he gently plays with a curl, twirling it around his finger
« Horangi...
couples taking showers together is always romanticized until you're cursing in there while trying to get the comb though a difficult knot, and while he's done washing in what seems like five or ten minutes it takes you much longer than that just to shampoo and condition your hair
he looks at you weirdly for using dish soap to really work that grease and oil buildup out of your hair before rinsing it off and washing again with shampoo, you recommend he try it especially since he's got fine hair and he ends up using it now
you tell him you're going out to get your hair cut and when you come back it looks the same... he asks if you even went to the hair salon and you say you did but it was only a trim and then you mention how much they charged you for snipping off a couple of inches...
« Nikto...
you're always complaining about how late it is and your hair hasn't dried yet, he doesn't understand why you don't just use the hair dryer, it still works after all
how to explain to him that drying it RIGHT after you've washed it will make it look like a lion's mane and have the texture of a horse's mane, "just brush it" URGHGHRH you wanna strangle him, the amount of hair cream and oil you'd have to apply will make you run out of product
and when you finally decide to go dry it and he's wondering why it's been 20 mins and you're still in there, he walks in to see you still drying it, he asks why you're not done yet and you tell him it's not fully dry, "looks dry to me" you have to take his hand and shove it to where your nape/back of your head is because that's still really damp
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moonmaiden1996 · 3 days ago
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Sanji as a Romantic partner to a reader.
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Okay, hear me out. Sanji is a flirty, chivalrous man with a tendency to be, well, a little extra. Some might call him a pervert because of his over-the-top reactions to women, and yeah, there’s definitely a pent-up side to his personality. I mean do I need to mention him nearly dying in the Fishman Island arc from lose of blood due to the near constant nosebleeds (not to mention *willingly* ready to die just to look at Shirahoshi) . But let’s take a step back and explore why he’s like this. I believe Sanji’s loving (and sometimes dramatic) nature stems from three key things:
His Respectful Nature
Sanji’s respect for women is unmatched. He’d rather hurt himself than raise a hand against a woman, no matter the circumstances. This isn’t just a quirk—it’s a deep-seated principle rooted in his past. Growing up with an abusive father and witnessing the mistreatment of his mother (which ultimately led to her death), Sanji likely developed a powerful desire to treat women with kindness and admiration. It’s his way of rejecting the cruelty he grew up around.
His Romantic Idealism
Let’s be real—Sanji is a hopeless romantic. He sees the best in every woman he meets and isn’t afraid to express his feelings, no matter how grand or unreciprocated they might be. One of the best examples of this is his dynamic with Charlotte Pudding. Even when she intended to deceive him, Sanji still saw her goodness and treated her with compassion. His romanticism feels like a shield against the harsh realities of his past—a way of holding onto hope and beauty in a sometimes-ugly world.
His Need for Love
Sanji’s childhood was, to put it lightly, rough. Between his family’s cruelty, the loss of his mother, and the trauma of being shipwrecked and adopted by Zeff, he’s been through a lot. It’s no surprise that these experiences left him craving connection and love. Sanji’s unwavering adoration for women is his way of forging those relationships and filling the void left by his turbulent upbringing. Does he have issues? Maybe a few. But underneath it all is a guy who wants to love and be loved in return.
So, Who’s Sanji’s Ideal Reader?
When it comes to the type of person Sanji would fall for, there are a few things to consider.
First off, as we’ve seen with Nami and Robin (especially Nami), Sanji gravitates toward women who can handle his enthusiasm. He’s not oblivious—he knows when people are using him. But because of his overwhelming need to serve and be useful, he doesn’t mind. In fact, he leans into it. Sanji is, in essence, the dictionary definition of a Golden Retriever Boy: loyal, eager to please, and full of boundless energy.
With that in mind, I think Sanji would pair perfectly with someone who has a soft-but-bossy vibe. Someone who exudes no-nonsense energy but can still appreciate his devotion. Aesthetic matters, too. Sanji loves beautiful things—not necessarily perfect things, but things he finds beauty in and he see beauty in most things (apart from Zoro). While many might imagine him with a girly-girl type, I think he’d be drawn to someone more unique—maybe a goth girl, a reserved librarian type, or anyone with an unconventional charm.
With that Sanji’s desire to worship someone comes hand-in-hand with his longing to belong. He wants to be someone’s, but he also wants someone to be his—someone who’ll let him dote on them endlessly while appreciating the loyalty he brings to the table but at the same time someone who is going to keep a firm hand on him and make him feel just as loved and wanted. Also, let not forget the reader will be pampered with endless butler serve.
And that reader is going to be in for a handful of trouble as Sanji is defiantly going to have a new dream ''Opening a restaurant on the all blue run buy a very noise and load family that he has made with the reader, theirs or adopted doesn't matter. He gives me wanting to a daddy figure vibes (especially with how he looks after Chopper)
So what do you think? I would love to hear you opinion!
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befallenstars-archive · 1 day ago
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This'll be the first time that I read one of your works, Ze! Hope you don't mind me yapping. It's recently become a small routine/habit of mine🫂
Spoilers and lots of yapping under the cut!
I wanna start off with the tags. My reaction was pretty normal until I read the "(ajax licks) blood and tears". Was I deterred? No, I was invested. Oh, my...all enemies and no lovers??? Tension only??? I just know this'll be good.
Brb, I'll listen to the song first...
Huh, I'd definitely trust your music taste.
The snow falls thick and fast, yet the village continues to burn. Screams and shouts of villagers, mixed with the clashing of metal, rise above the roar of devouring flames of blue.
Okay! We're diving straight into this. Love that actually.
Those who fail to meet the fae’s standards are left alone, shivering and watching in the cold. 
I GOT GOOSEBUMPS.
The way you write scratches my brain just right. Even better that your style of writing genuinely matches the overall dark vibe you're going for. I can literally feel it in my bones.
Gently grabbing your shoulders before shaking you bc I fell in love at first work with your writing. I need to read more of your works, Ze! Omg, why did it take so long before my dash gifted me with it? I should've looked for it myself!
Sorry, just not-so casually a sucker for your writing style.
It is the most luxurious piece of clothing you own; a beautiful dark green cloth lined with fur, decorated by unfinished hand-embroidered leaves and flowers and bunnies—a project you’ve been chipping away at this winter.
I already noticed this with the way you described the horses but there's truly just something about the way you do it. Like I can oh so easily imagine whatever it is you are narrating
I LOVE THE TINY DETAILS
Snowflakes continue to fall, decorating your hair and eyelashes with diamonds, while the shoulders of your cloak become dusted in sugar. 
Is it bad to say that I wanna eat your fics? (affectionately(?))
The snow dances around you and you can’t help but indulge in a spin, cloak sweeping out around you in a swirl of deep green. Your huff of laughter is stolen by the wind, but the delight within you remains.
I think I fell in love—
You have a writing style that gives me fairy tale kind of vibes. Even if it's dark. It would be so fun reading this out loud with theatrics and some drama.
In my head? I'm doing just that. It is so good.
...
All of this is so good that I can't pick one line and yap about.
You know he is fae right away by his unnatural beauty. His hair glimmers a coppery orange under the light of the full moon, all windswept and dusted in snow. His eyes seem to glow as they scan you from head to toe, a blue just a shade darker than that of the flames destroying the village. Ears taper into a fine point and from his left one dangles a deep red crystal that only makes you think of blood. He smiles, then, as you observe him. His canines are sharp and long, like that of a fox, and you are frozen with wide, shining eyes of a bunny.
GODS
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO WRITE A SCENE THE WAY YOU DO—
IT'S JUST SO???? I CANT EVEN DO JUSTICE TO DESCRIBE IT. I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE.
You don’t think he’s talking solely about the snow. 
I am so deeply immersed in this fic that I physically swallowed when I read this.
He laughs, throwing his head back as the sound erupts from his throat. “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that,” he says, his breath beading in the winter air.
...For the love of— I have thoughts but I shan’t say them out loud for propriety's sake.
He had not intended to take you back to the fae realm, but then you had to go and run.
THAT WAS FOUL
“Ouch,” the fae calls after you. His voice is loud and clear, and you know he’s only getting closer. “Don’t hurt yourself too much trying to escape, okay?”
🙂💢
I dunno, there was something about this that just got on my nerves.
...
It was not in 2025 bingo card to find myself having a tiny crush on this man AGAIN.
What in the sadomasochism...
Nope. No. Bye—
“Are you done?” he asks, amusement coloring his tone. “If not, I can do this all night.”
I just want to be slightly violent. Just a bit.
...and you realize you are at this fae’s mercy, pinned like a prized butterfly in a collection; all pretty and helpless, on display for him to study.
Mnh...yes...I am...slightly dysfunctional.
Sitting in my chair with my back slightly hunched and a hand over my lips as I question myself.
“Try that again, I dare you.” His voice is rough and yet it doesn’t sound like a threat.
......................
Zipping my mouth closed.
...the sensation of your nails digging into his abdomen is not one he’ll forget anytime soon.
What if I actually lose it?
Mnh? Ze? Will you take accountability?!
He tastes the lie and grins. “That’s not true now, is it?”
Okay, I am brought by to sanity by the genuine question of what the hell does a lie taste like?
Ajax is enchanted. Has he ever seen a human so beautiful?
And I am back to the edge of my sanity. Lovely.
His groan of delight is overlapped by your whimper, the cut on your cheek stinging as fear flows through your veins.
...slamming my head on the table right now.
What— no, I?? This is...am I really? No...what? Hahaha. That's not...maybe?
Ajax grins, taking in the vision before him. “You’re perfect.”
I'm going insane.
Okay, the note was really cute tho??? I'm sorry but I imagine it in a chibi kind of style where Targtaglia's standing by the door while reader collects their stuff. Maybe doggo will betray the reader by being nice to Tartraglia, who absolutely eats it up when the reader glares at both him and the dog.
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EASY ON THE EYES, EASIER TO HATE. tartaglia x reader ✧ 2.7k words
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when the fae raid your village to take humans into their realm, you think you’ll be safe in the woods. but you run into a fae who introduces himself as tartaglia and realize it might have been safer for you to stay at home.
tags and warnings ✧  fae!tartaglia, gender neutral reader (no pronouns used), reader sews and tailors clothes for a living, the fae are pretty brutal, mentions of violence, (ajax licks) blood and tears, chasing (predator prey dynamic), manhandling, all enemies and no lovers (only tension oops). note ✧ this is a darker fic compared to most of my writing; please let me know if I need to tag anything else! title inspired by the song "psycho" by taylor acorn. a gift for @cruel-hiraeth for teahouse's secret santa! happy new year, kae! i hope this fic helps you start off the year right by loving hating tartaglia >u< this was lots of fun to write hehe and got a little long because the au ran away from me... i hope you enjoy! love you lots <3
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The snow falls thick and fast, yet the village continues to burn. Screams and shouts of villagers, mixed with the clashing of metal, rise above the roar of devouring flames of blue.
The fae are here.
They pull people out of their beds, pushing them into the streets. Turn their faces toward the light of a burning house—looking for the beautiful humans, still young and nimble. Or searching for evidence of skill in the arts; a pretty face matters little if one can produce beautiful things in ways that the fae cannot. Those who fail to meet the fae’s standards are left alone, shivering and watching in the cold. 
The humans the fae deem acceptable meet a much worse fate. They are picked up and thrown in the back of carts, drawn by horses with ears too long and manes too wild, their coats unusually glossy and vibrant. The chosen who try to escape are bound with rope that cruelly digs into skin. Those who try to fight are taken down brutally, then laughed at as they writhe on the ground—though the fae make sure no permanent damage is done, for that would defeat the purpose of the raid.
A fae bearing a torch of blue flames brings it up to the walls of each house of those who have been chosen. The blue catches on the wood unnaturally quickly, spreading with a voracious hunger despite the wind and snow. Within the hour, nothing will remain besides a pile of ash. 
But by then, the fae and the chosen villagers will be long gone.
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You are lucky that sleep is so elusive tonight.
Earlier, after tossing and turning in bed for ages, you give up on trying to fall asleep. It is hard to leave your dog who has curled up beside you in a ball of white fluff, but you press a kiss between her ears before changing into some warmer layers. You sweep a thick winter cloak over your shoulders. It is the most luxurious piece of clothing you own; a beautiful dark green cloth lined with fur, decorated by unfinished hand-embroidered leaves and flowers and bunnies—a project you’ve been chipping away at this winter. Putting on boots that have long since been molded to the shape of your feet, you leave your house to catch some fresh air and possibly tire yourself out along the way.
The blanket of pure white is beautiful. The full moon makes everything glitter as snow stretches from the outskirts of the village into the forests beyond. Snowflakes continue to fall, decorating your hair and eyelashes with diamonds, while the shoulders of your cloak become dusted in sugar. 
It is so quiet out here. The whistling of the wind and the thoughts in your head are the only sounds you hear. You are used to this, though. Every day you sew and tailor clothes in the back of the village’s clothing store, often alone for hours on end with nothing but your thoughts for company.
A strong gust of wind rocks you on your feet. Clutching your cloak tighter and tossing the fur-lined hood up over your head, you turn your back on the forest to face the trail of footsteps you’ve made through the snow. You should head home.
Still, you take your time approaching the village. The snow dances around you and you can’t help but indulge in a spin, cloak sweeping out around you in a swirl of deep green. Your huff of laughter is stolen by the wind, but the delight within you remains.
Then the first scream rips through the night.
You freeze. Scanning the houses on the outskirts of the village reveals no dangers.
Another cry follows the first and you know something must be terribly wrong. 
You start running toward the village, kicking up snow as your mind races. Perhaps someone is getting robbed—but no one in town would dare. Or based on the growing amount of cries and shouts, maybe something happened that has injured a lot of people. A fire?
As you make it to the buildings, you see that you are right. Fire engulfs one of the homes on the far side of town, the flames reaching for the sky. A shudder runs through you at the sight, for the flames are unnaturally blue, and though this is the first time you’ve seen such a thing, you have heard of the stories and warnings about the cyan fire and those that accompany it.
You will not let the fae take you.
Whirling around, you sprint for the woods. The screams of the other villagers ring in your ears, but you know it is impossible for you to take on a single fae, let alone an army of them. They are here to steal humans away. For what, you’re not sure, but it can’t be for anything good. Though you doubt they would choose to take you, the best way to make sure you can see the sunrise tomorrow is to hide in the woods and avoid them all.
Reaching the treeline seems to take ages. You keep looking over your shoulder as you run, half expecting to have been spotted, but you only see more and more flames of blue burning houses to the ground.
Your heart skips a beat at the thought of your home being set ablaze—your dog!—but then you remember the fae only burn the houses of the humans they take and relief washes over you.
With your thoughts consumed by the safety of your dog, you don’t notice that you have slowed, trying to catch your breath in the midst of the trees. Nor do you notice that you aren’t alone anymore, until the newcomer starts speaking.
“My, my. Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
Dread sinks like a stone in your stomach. You spin, eyes wide as they land on the source of those playful and teasing words, leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed.
You know he is fae right away by his unnatural beauty. His hair glimmers a coppery orange under the light of the full moon, all windswept and dusted in snow. His eyes seem to glow as they scan you from head to toe, a blue just a shade darker than that of the flames destroying the village. Ears taper into a fine point and from his left one dangles a deep red crystal that only makes you think of blood. He smiles, then, as you observe him. His canines are sharp and long, like that of a fox, and you are frozen with wide, shining eyes of a bunny.
He hums and tilts his head. It is then that you remember he asked a question, and your throat works to find your voice to answer him. “I was out for a stroll,” you manage to say, words somehow steady despite your fluttering pulse.
It’s a half-truth, but half-truths are half-lies, and there’s the slightest hint of bitterness in the back of Ajax’s throat that always accompanies humans’ lies. “Oh, really? And was that before or after we made our presence known?”
“Before, actually,” you tell him honestly. “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk. The snow is beautiful and the moon is bright—it’s pretty, is it not?” If you talk enough, maybe he’ll lose interest so you can make a run for it. You don’t know much about fae, but with the way he’s dressed in nicer clothing than what most men in your village wear, surely he won’t care for running through the snowy forest.
He smiles. “It is pretty.” His eyes refuse to leave your frame, and a shiver runs through you. You don’t think he’s talking solely about the snow. 
Pushing off the tree, he takes a few steps forward, nearly silent despite the boots he wears. He stops when you stiffen, clutching your cloak tighter in your hands. “Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Tartaglia,” he says, picking one of his many names to give you. “And you are?”
You press your lips together and force a smile. Even you know not to give the fae your name, no matter how much of a gentleman he is pretending to be. Your stomach rolls, unease making your heart rate pick up again. “I’m-” You see the way he perks up in interest, expecting a name. “I’m leaving,” you spit out, turn on your heels, and run.
Ajax watches you leave, the green of your cloak billowing out behind you like a rabbit’s tail inviting him to chase. He laughs, throwing his head back as the sound erupts from his throat. “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that,” he says, his breath beading in the winter air.
He had not intended to take you back to the fae realm, but then you had to go and run. And he wouldn’t dare to let all your hard work go to waste—so he’ll participate in the delightful hunt you’ve set up for him.
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The ground is uneven beneath your feet. It is hard to tell where the tree roots are under the thick layer of snow and each breath of air feels like tiny needles stabbing your lungs. But you push on, feet pounding as quickly as you can force yourself to go.
You want to be as far away from that fae as you can get. He had not looked like he was going to chase you when you last saw him, laughing as you ran away, but there was a look in his eyes that pushed you to keep running.
When you toss a quick glance over your shoulder, your breath hitches and terror rushes through you.
He’s there. In the distance, but you can see him, weaving through the trees at an inhuman pace, his long legs carrying him far. He is gaining on you and you fear what he will do when he catches you.
You push yourself to run even harder, but your legs burn and your throat feels tight. In your haste, you fail to see the lower hanging branches of a nearby tree. A cry tears from your lips as a thin branch slices through the skin of your cheek, but you barely feel the pain with your face nearly frozen from the cold.
“Ouch,” the fae calls after you. His voice is loud and clear, and you know he’s only getting closer. “Don’t hurt yourself too much trying to escape, okay?”
Through your huffs for air, you manage to shout back at him. “Piss off! Leave me alone!”
Ajax grins, closing the distance. “I don’t think I will,” he says.
He lunges forward and grabs a fistful of your cloak. You stumble from the pull, tripping over your feet. He uses the momentum to spin you around, pushing you backward until you hit a tree, forcing the air from your lungs. His body presses against yours right after, caging you in with one leg wedged between your own.
“Let go of me!” you shout, slamming your fists into his chest. You try shoving all of your weight into him but he simply presses back harder until his chest is flush against yours. 
He laughs—laughs!—as you struggle against him, kicking and yelling and throwing your weight from side to side. He does not budge at all under the onslaught. You do everything you can, but only wear yourself out, leaning back against the tree to catch your breath.
“Are you done?” he asks, amusement coloring his tone. “If not, I can do this all night.”
His reaction makes your blood boil, most of your fear buried beneath anger. You glare down past his arm that still grips your cloak and catch sight of a sliver of pale skin peeking through the folds of his clothes. Moving your gaze back up to his face, you spit out, “I hope you die.”
And then you dig your nails into the exposed skin of his stomach, sink your teeth into the arm holding onto your cloak, and shove with all your might.
Ajax stumbles backward. 
You rip yourself out of his hold, twist your body to the side, taking one step forward, free-
Arms wrap around your waist and throw you back toward the tree. Your feet catch on his boot, making you lose your balance, perfect for Ajax to maneuver your body as he wills. This time, he pins your hands above your head, one large hand grasping your wrists, while his other arm presses as an immovable bar across your collarbones. One leg forces its way between your own, and you realize you are at this fae’s mercy, pinned like a prized butterfly in a collection; all pretty and helpless, on display for him to study.
You look down. You don’t want to see the anger on his face before he retaliates for your actions.
The arm across your chest shifts and you flinch as gloved fingers grab your chin, firm but not painful as he tilts your head, forcing you to look at him. You’re taken aback by the grin on his face, canines bared and bloodthirsty, but his eyes are amused.
“Try that again, I dare you.” His voice is rough and yet it doesn’t sound like a threat.
Your eyes grow wide. This kind of a creature is not one you will be able to escape, at least not now—unarmed except for your teeth and nails.
Ajax lets go of your chin, pulling back slightly. He’s delighted by the fire within you. When he first saw you, running toward the woods, he simply thought you a pretty coward. But oh you dared to fight back, using what little defenses humans naturally have, and you even broke skin. Though his fae blood allows him to rapidly heal, the sensation of your nails digging into his abdomen is not one he’ll forget anytime soon.
As he looks away from your face to take you all in, now that you’re not struggling to escape, his gaze catches on your cloak. His eyes light up, tracing over the exquisitely stitched leaves and plants of various green threads, mixed occasionally with lively bunnies of soft browns. There’s a rabbit still unfinished, just a cute head and perked ears, awaiting its body to bring it to life. 
“Did you make this?” Ajax asks, thumb brushing over the embroidery.
“No,” you gasp, heart sinking.
He tastes the lie and grins. “That’s not true now, is it?”
It’s over. Now that he knows you are skilled at sewing, he has all the reasons he needs to bring you into his realm. Despair is a heavy weight, mixed with frustration and anger. Tears well in your eyes and slide down the curves of your face. A few droplets spread into the cut on your left cheek, mixing with the beading blood that stains your skin.
Ajax is enchanted. Has he ever seen a human so beautiful?
He can’t stop himself from leaning in even closer until his nose nearly presses against your ear. There’s a moment where you hear him inhale. Then his tongue swipes up your cheek, lapping up tears and blood. His groan of delight is overlapped by your whimper, the cut on your cheek stinging as fear flows through your veins.
His fingers grip your chin again and he turns your head to the other side. Warmth travels up your cheek as he licks your tears, before pulling away with a satisfied smirk on his lips.
As you gasp for breath, he takes in the sight of more tears streaming down your face, shed in mourning for the loss of your life in the human world. Shudders run through you until your tears slow, giving time for your heart to harden. Slowly, you open your eyes to meet his gaze, yours now blazing with fury and hatred.
Ajax grins, taking in the vision before him. “You’re perfect.”
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note ✧ ajax makes you point out your home and he gets to dig through your stuff as you collect a few things to take with you. don't worry, doggo gets to come with and is treated very well (fae like animals more than humans, usually).
this is not quite the type of thing i usually write, but i hope it was still an enjoyable read! i'd love to hear what you think c:
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212 notes · View notes
jjkarmy091 · 13 hours ago
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Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )
Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?
Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;
Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader
Wordcount: 5.781
Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes
Love you loads <3
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When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 
Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  
“what’s all this?”  
“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 
“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  
“No” 
“care to explain why?” 
“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."
"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 
"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 
Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 
“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 
“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 
“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking
“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 
“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 
“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  
Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.
On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)
Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck
She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.
It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 
“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”
“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  
After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 
“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.
“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 
“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.
“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  
I love you.” 
During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 
“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 
“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 
“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 
“Together how?”  
“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  
Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 
“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 
“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  
Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  
""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 
Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 
-------------------------------------------------------------- 
As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.
Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  
After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 
The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.
The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 
As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 
Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.
In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 
He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 
"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 
Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  
“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 
“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 
Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.
“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 
“I’m in love with you Jungkook”
As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said
“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 
“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 
“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  
“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 
“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 
“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  
“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 
“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down
"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”
“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”
Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.
"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  
"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  
“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  
“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  
“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"
" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."
"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 
“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"
“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 
"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.
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tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995
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perfectlysunny02 · 12 hours ago
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several sentence sunday
tagged by the lovely @bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict and @laundryandtaxesworld here's my excerpt from a forgotten fic before the breakup, called i'm bleeding out, i'm bleeding out for you.
“Stop,” Buck slurs, pushing at the hands that prod at his hurt. Why are they touching him? Don’t they know it hurts all over? “Stop, hurts. Please-” “Shh,” Tommy whispers, cupping his face. There’s water falling into his face, why is there water? “Shh baby, you gotta let Eddie work, okay? You just focus on me and stay awake. I love you, sweetheart, god, I love you so much.” Buck whines. He doesn’t want to stay awake. He’s tired. He’s out now, he doesn’t know why he can’t rest.  “Hey. Hey!” Tommy hits his cheek lightly, and Buck has to force his eyes open to look at him. He doesn’t even remember closing his eyes, and he wishes that Tommy had just let him rest, the panicked look on Tommy’s face makes Buck’s stomach turn. He hopes he never has to see it again. “Gotta stay awake for me, baby, please.” “Tired,” Buck grumbles.  “I know,” Tommy soothes, his thumb rubbing soothingly at his temple. “I know, sweetheart. You’re worn out, aren’t you? But I need you to hold on a little longer, okay? Hang on a little bit longer. For me. Can you do that?” He nods, but he’s not sure he can do that. Tommy seems to sense that because he takes a quick look at Eddie, he apologizes to the man as he works on Buck and turns back to him.  “You can do that, can’t you, sweetheart? Because you’re my good boy. You’re so good for Daddy.” “I’m not. I’m not,” Buck slurs out. “‘M not 'cause you left. Left me. Left-“ “I know, I know I left, sweet boy, I know, I’m sorry, but it wasn’t because of you. It wasn’t, I promise. I need you to hold on for me, please baby.”
tagging: @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @tommykinard @bidisasterevankinard @cafe-con-letty
@lfjho @laundryandtaxesworld @kinkykinard @livelaughbuck @exhaustedpirate
@geniusjester @mintedwitcher @notacyborg @whentheresidentsareevil @babygirltommykinard
@sherlockismarvelous9-1-1 @swagmaster9k @sweaters-and-silly @hyperfocusthusly @loulou-land
@thisnightcannotescapetomorrow @shyaudacity @dearqueend @quintessenceofdust88
@dudedudeduda @fiyaerrigan @theluminousandwired @bibibibuckleykinard
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zepskies · 3 days ago
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Outlander - Part 1
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC 
Summary: Dean Winchester has been stripped of his military rank, but he’s living happier with his new wife, trying to adjust to a new life in her tribe. What will it take for her people to accept him, especially when the battle for her heart might not be completely won? 
AN: Ready for some more Cowboy Dean? Here we go with Outlander Part 1! This is a sequel story directly following The Honorable Choice, where Dean not only saves the member of a Native American tribe, but falls in love with her. (She saves him a lot in return.) Now, he’ll have to learn how to live in her world if he wants to stay with her.
This sequel series will be 4 parts! 💜
Disclaimer: I first got inspired to write The Honorable Choice for @jacklesversebingo after a recent rewatch of Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron (with a tinge of Yellowstone in the mix). I’ve done a fair bit of research for this now ongoing series, both on the Native American Lakota tribe, and on American history during this time in the late 1800s; AKA: the Old West, during the American Indian Wars.
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Western AU
Word Count: 5.3K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Suggestiveness/implied smut and spice, hunting (in the more traditional sense), angst, hurt/comfort, and romantic fluff. **Pronunciation guide at the end!
🐎 Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
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Part 1: Two Worlds
Her people call this river Little Cheyenne. It’s because Big Cheyenne cuts through the land of the Sioux Indians by half, but Little Cheyenne almost meets it in the south, stretching all the way up to the Black Hills.
Mila’s tribe has always lived near this river. Its waters have bled red during battles with other tribes, and sometimes during battles with White Men.
The White Men’s fort, the one her husband came from, lies farther down in the south. The tribe had to move their village higher north along the river after Mila returned with Dean Winchester, just to be safe.
On a cloudy afternoon, Mila scrubs at a bundle of dirty clothes until they’re clean. She rinses them off in the river and is thorough about her work, but she knows she can’t be here much longer. She has a stew simmering on hot coals in her tipi…
Well, the one she now shares with her husband.
Unconsciously, she smiles. She remembers leading Dean through the tribe, to the place where she hoped he would find rest. They stopped at the foot of her tipi. 
“This one’s yours?” he asked.
She paused, giving him another small smile. 
“Ours.”
Mila continues scrubbing, though she frowns when her fingers slip through a tear in one of the new tunics she made for him (even though he keeps calling it a shirt). The tear was made by a blade, or maybe an arrowhead, she realizes. 
The crunch of feet on the riverbed’s gravel makes her raise her head and look over her shoulder. Unease prickles down her spine. She braces herself for a familiar shadow, come to disturb her peace.    
But then she relaxes. She’s being joined by two of the older women in her tribe. Mila has known them her whole life, and so she calls them tunwin. Aunt. They both greet her kindly and kneel beside her with their own bundles of clothes for washing, but Eyota, the older one, has a sharper eye. She is their tribe’s medicine woman. 
“Your husband wears out his clothes,” she remarks.
“He’s been working hard training with Šóta and the other men,” Mila explains.
“He seems to be learning quickly,” says Misae. She has a more playful glint in her eyes. “Who knew that you could catch and tame a White Man. Looks like they are no different from wild horses.”
Mila smiles slightly, but it’s not genuine. She nods in agreement. “He’s learning quickly.”
She holds her tongue from saying anything else, even though she wants to. Dean isn’t a man to be tamed, any more than she was, in his people’s eyes. She aims to change the subject. 
“Do you have any good herbs or spices for wahonpi? I’ve had the stew simmering all morning,” she asks Eyota. Not only is she a gifted healer, but Eyota is also one of the best cooks, and she knows it. She nods and straightens her shoulders the way she always does when someone asks her for advice—and even when they don’t ask for it.
“Of course, child. What you need is…”
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“Goddamn it,” Dean huffs under his breath.
The jackrabbit flees from him again, or more accurately, from his terribly aimed arrow. He’s an excellent marksman…just not with a bow, it seems.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong here, and he’s not likely to figure it out. Not by the way Takoda, Šóta, and the other men are laughing at him.
Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes. He knows when he’s being hazed.
These men are bare-chested warriors, each of them richly tanned under the sun. Most of them wear their hair long, half of it gathered high on their heads, or braided in some way. Šóta is his wife’s cousin, and as the Chief’s son, he wears a small adornment of eagle feathers threaded into his hair. His closest friends are Takoda and Otaktay. Both of them laugh at Dean the most, and in their language, using just enough gestures and body language that Dean knows he’s being talked about. They point at his boots and his brown Stetson hat—two of the only things he’s kept of his own that make him feel comfortable in his own skin.
Finally, Šóta goes over to him. “Good try,” he says, in his usual patronizing tone.
Dean knows he can’t punch out Mila’s cousin, no matter how bad he’s asking for it. Somehow, Dean manages to hold onto his temper.
“What’re they saying?” he asks lowly, gesturing at the two chuckle brothers.
Šóta’s lips twitch. He glances down at Dean’s feet. “They say your…shoes are loud on the earth. You give yourself away before the animal even catches your scent.”
Dean’s given up a lot of things, but his boots won’t be one of them. He wants to learn. He wants to belong here, in Mila’s world, but he also wants to stay himself.
So the men move on, mounting their horses. Dean rides with Baby at a plodding clip. Her black coat ripples with a healthy sheen. He thinks she’s come to enjoy the more natural surroundings and freer pasture of the grasslands, and he can’t deny, this part of it all feels right. The sun peeks through between the dappled leaves of oak trees, painting the ground in red, green, and gold. It’s quiet and beautiful here as Šóta leads the pack through the forest, just southwest of the village.
Eventually, he stops them between a denser thatch of trees and shrub. He raises a hand signal that Dean’s come to recognize. He raises his bow belatedly after the others though. He follows Šóta’s line of vision, and there is a deer grazing in a small clearing. A young buck.
Šóta signals at Dean. Try again, his eyes say.
Dean takes in a deep, quiet breath through his nose, and he takes aim.
He really misses his damn rifle.
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Dean shoulders the sting of failure while he makes his way through the camp, leading Baby by the reigns. He drops her off at the large horse pen. There he feeds her and brushes her long coat, all while murmuring soft affectionate things. She’s still one of his only friends here.
But even she leaves him short to join her new friend, Mato. The two have become thick as thieves. Mato greets the black mare with a friendly whinny. Their noses touch in affection, and Mato playfully nips at her ear.
Dean raises his brows. “Well, that’s a little more friendly than usual. You guys start courting when I wasn’t looking?”
He walks over to Mato, who’s softened up to him in recent weeks.
“You sly dog,” Dean remarks, smirking. “Didn’t even ask me for her hand.”
Mato blows a hot breath through his nose at Dean, who has to blink, wiping his face.
“Now that’s just rude.” Still, he offers the mustang an apple from his pocket. Mato takes it from his palm, letting Dean rub his neck while he munches on his snack. “As fathers-in-law go, you lucked out, pal. See? I’m a delight.”
He wouldn’t be surprised if Baby had her first foal by spring. Dean grins at the thought, but it soon falls. If only his father-in-law were so easy to please.
His mind dwells on it as he starts making his way back to the heart of the village. Chatan, Mila’s father, hasn’t warmed up to him any better than Šóta or the other men. Tahatan is the only one of them who treats Dean civilly, and overall, he seems to be a good leader.
Dean has that thought, just when he sees the older man himself walking with a woman Dean sort of recognizes. She wears a long necklace made of blue beads and seashells. Tahatan goes into her tipi, even though Dean knows…that woman isn’t the Chief’s wife.
Dean raises his brows, but he subtly pivots on his heel and takes a different route back to his own tipi. Whatever he just saw, it’s definitely not his business.
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“Honey, I’m home,” he teases.
She welcomes him into her arms, her hands traveling warmly up his shoulders. He bends to kiss her, soft and slow at first. And then deeper, sucking on her lower lip and teasing her with a sensuous tongue. She hums in surprise into his mouth, making him smile.
He’s exhausted and feeling low, but he doesn’t want to let on to her. He just wants to forget about his day, and hopefully recharge with a better night.
“How did it go today?” she asks, after he allows her to breathe.
Dean nods (and lies). “Pretty good.”
She waits for him to continue. When he just continues to hold her, she raises her brows up at him.
“Dean?”
“What? I’m workin’ on archery. Lots of progress.”
She eyes him in suspicion, and he knows he doesn’t have her fooled. Actually, she looks like she’s going to press him about it, so he releases her from his hold and goes to change out of his dirty clothes to avoid her gaze.
“Hey, uh, maybe it’s none of my business, but I saw the Chief go into some other woman’s tent today. Holding hands, bedroom eyes, the whole deal,” he says while he changes. He glances back at her and waggles his brows. Mila smiles slightly.
“Did she wear her hair in a half-braid, or did she wear a necklace made of seashells?” she asks.
Dean’s surprised that she doesn’t seem surprised, but he thinks back to what he saw.
“Uh, seashells. Yeah, she wore seashells,” he says.
Mila nods. “Yes, that woman is also his…the chiefs of my people are known to take more than one wife.”
At that, Dean becomes even more surprised. He finishes dressing and leaves his boots by the tipi’s entrance. His raised brows even out into a smirk.
“Well, okay. Guess it’s good to be Chief,” he says.
Mila’s lips purse as she eyes him narrowly. She goes back to stirring the stew with a wide, wooden spoon. Dean doesn’t see her reaction, but he does notices that something’s missing from his side of the bedding. He frowns.
“Hey, where’s my gun?” He asks Mila, who shakes her head without looking at him.
“I moved it,” she curtly replies.
Dean’s frown deepens. He touches her arm to get her attention.
“I’d rather you didn’t do that, baby,” he says. He’s made sure that she knows the basics of a gun well enough, but he doesn’t want to take the chance of her hurting herself.
“Don’t leave it out, then,” she snips back. “It shouldn’t go where we sleep.”
Dean tilts his head at her. He’s a bit confused at her tone, especially because they’ve had this conversation before.
“I have it there just in case something happens at night,” he reminds her. His pistol is really just for emergencies though. There are only three bullets left in it, and he can’t exactly go shopping for more. 
Dean realizes then that Mila’s mood has shifted. He approaches her from behind.
“What’s wrong, huh?” His hands find familiar purchase along the curve of her waist. He swipes her braid away and presses a kiss where her neck meets her shoulder. More teasingly, he asks, “What’d I do now?”
Mila remains tight-lipped, until she glances at him over her shoulder.
“Do you want another woman?” she asks.
It’s a simple question, but it succeeds in completely tripping him up. He blinks at her, incredulous and bewildered.
“What?”
She continues shredding another herb to put into the stew. Somehow, it makes the broth smell a bit worse. 
“You seem to admire the Chief for having three wives, so you must want another one too,” she says.
Holy shit, three wives? Dean wonders. The man must be a saint. Look at the hell I’m catching with one.
He can’t help but laugh, a deep belly chuckle that does nothing to take away Mila’s ire. She glares at him now, genuinely upset, and Dean knows he’s starting to shit the bed on this one. He sobers up and raises his hands in surrender.
“Sweetheart,” he says, in a placating tone.
Despite her annoyance, she allows him to hold her again. He plies her with more tantalizing kisses along her neck. He breathes in the sweet-smelling oil she uses on her hair.
“You’re more than enough woman for me. You know that, right?” he whispers against her skin. It earns her slight shudder, and he smiles. He teases the spot just under her ear, grazing with his teeth, then soothing with his tongue. She can’t help but writhe against him a bit. It stirs a well of desire in his lower belly, especially when he squeezes her hips, pressing himself to her from behind.
She tries to remain strong as she clears her throat, no doubt feeling his growing hardness against her. She starts to blush hotly.
“It’s all I can do just to make sure you stay sweet for me,” Dean says, a hint of teasing returned to his voice.
Mila finally breaks into a laugh. She reaches back to swat him on the head, but his ministrations work. Once she manages to escape from his grasp with a teasing smile of her own, she more happily serves him a bowl of stew.
Dean smirks. Fine, he can be patient. He’ll just have to wait until dessert, then. After a moment to calm himself, he sits down on the ground beside her and brings a large spoonful of stew to his lips. There, he pauses. The strange taste that assaults his tongue nearly makes him choke, but he does his best to swallow it down. The meat’s tough as nails, for Christ’s sake…
Hearing a spoon clatter against the bowl, he chances glancing at Mila. She sits stock still, her brows furrowed as she frowns. Slowly, she sets the bowl down and says,
“Stop eating.”
She looks angry at herself. Dean feels bad for her, his sympathy striking at his chest.
“What do you mean? I’m hungry,” he says, and gamely takes another couple of bites.
She just watches him. Her upset worsens while he tries and fails to cover up a hacking cough.
Finally, Mila can stand no more. She takes the bowl from him, making some of the foul broth slosh over their hands and onto the ground. She tried to make wahonpi, one of the most basic soups in her people’s culture, made from bison, potatoes, corn, and carrots stewed in the broth.
Eyota told me it was simple! she thinks in dismay. How did it go so wrong?
“It’s no good,” she says, her voice hard. “I will go to my mother and see what she cooked. She may have extra for us.”
She rises to her feet, and Dean quickly follows her. He catches sight of her tears, even though she turns her face away from him to grab her shoes. He reaches out and stops her with a hand on her arm. He tugs her back to face him.
“Hey, it’s okay. Why’re you getting so upset?” he says. “I’m not picky. I’ll eat whatever you make.”
Or maybe next time, I’ll try doing the cooking, he thinks.
“Because!” she blurts. Tears well up in her eyes and begin to slip down her cheeks, no matter how much she tries to brush them away. “Because you shouldn’t have to eat it. Because it should be good. You deserve to eat something good!”
Mila finally realizes why her mother tried so hard to teach her these things. She’s embarrassed, feeling sorry for herself, but it’s also far worse than that. Her heart hurts knowing what Dean has gone through, and what he continues to go through for her sake. The least she could do is make sure he eats well, and it seems she can’t even do that.
“Mila,” he says with a sigh. He guides her into his embrace. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
She can’t allow herself to be comforted. She pushes at his chest to look up at him.
“You think I don’t know what happens outside?” she says. “It’s a small village, and people talk when they think I’m not listening. I know what the men are doing to you.”
Dean shakes his head stubbornly. “It’s fine. I can handle it.”
“You should not have to,” she insists, resting a hand over his heart. “You have proven yourself to be a man of honor. Tahatan said it himself. They should not be this way.” 
Dean smiles ruefully. “I can handle it.” 
He bows his head and captures her lips, plying her with a deeper kiss. The heat of it grows and becomes more than a distraction, more than comfort. It strips everything else away, until it’s just the two of them again, like the night she found him at the riverbank and held him until he woke up in her arms.
What they eat doesn’t matter. Other people don’t matter. All that matters is this.
He squeezes her hips and presses her harder against him, so she can feel every part of his desire. She moans into his mouth, curling her fingers into his shirt. So he guides her down to the bedding, where he shows her what he’d rather get a taste of.
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Later that evening, Mila and Dean have dinner with her parents. Her mother, Weaya, is a gracious host, treating Dean both like a guest and a proper son-in-law. She gives him a special cut of braised bison meat, not to mention extra corn and potato hash. Chatan says nothing to him and eats in gruff, stoic silence. 
Dean can tell it both hurts and annoys his wife, but he has to focus on answering Weaya’s many questions about his life—mainly about his family and the farm he grew up on. In some ways, raising crops and rearing up cows, chickens, and horses there isn’t so different from the Lakota village.  
“You must miss that place. Your home,” she says. Dean meets his mother-in-law’s eyes, pausing in polishing off the meat sauce on his plate with a piece of bread. Chatan looks up from his meal, and so does Mila, who hesitates too. He sees the thread of her concern there, behind her eyes, so Dean hides the stab of sadness that hits him every time he thinks of Lawrence. 
“Sometimes,” he admits. He looks over at Mila. “But I’m not alone. That’s what matters.”
She smiles at him softly. Dean has the urge to take her hand, maybe raise it up to his lips, but he’ll leave that for when they’re alone. He doesn’t want to upset her father any more than he has just by sitting in Chatan’s house. Tent…whatever.
He’s glad when, after almost another hour and a round of hot tea, Mila finishes chatting with her mother and stands. It means they can finally get the hell out of here. No disrespect to her parents, but with so much change happening so quickly, Dean had been able to put Lawrence out of his mind for a while. Tonight he thinks about his mom and his brother more than makes him comfortable on their way through the village. He follows Mila inside their tipi, then starts up a candle while she gets ready to rest for the evening. 
Living here is like going back in time—before the lantern, before indoor plumbing and the water heater. It’s not a huge hardship for Dean, who’s spent a lot of his life sleeping on hard, dusty ground, or military bases with less than most modern amenities, but it’s still another adjustment. 
He undresses down to his pants and settles down to the bedding and furs, waiting for his wife. She kneels beside him after undressing down to just her shift. He lays on his back with an arm tucked behind his head, and he watches her unbind her long, dark hair, undoing the braid from the bottom strands. She has this concentrated look on her face, like her mind is far away, even though she’s right here next to him. He threads his fingers through her loose hair while she works, giving her a smile.   
“You okay?” he asks. 
Mila pauses. She lets her tresses escape from her fingers and reaches for him, laying her hand on his chest. Dean holds it there and finally allows himself to press a kiss into her palm. 
I’m sorry, is what she wants to say, but she knows he’ll only reply, For what?
So she lowers down and slips into his warm embrace, as if this can make them both forget the day. She rests her cheek over his beating heart. 
“You will never be alone,” she promises. 
Dean quirks a smile. Instead of answering, he brushes her cheek tenderly with his hand, and he closes his eyes. A few deep breaths later, and he finds sleep.
The candle slowly flickers out.   
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On most nights, Mila falls asleep before Dean, and so his light snores don’t bother her. Tonight, even though she’s tried, she can’t tune out his rumbles. Or maybe it’s her own mind she can’t tune out.
She carefully maneuvers out of his hold and slips on her shoes. Maybe the moon will give her clarity tonight. 
She pushes open the front flap of the tent and steps out into the cooler air. She looks up at the moon’s white-blue glow, a wide crescent peeking out from between two large clouds. A strong breeze tugs at her hair and flutters her lashes when she closes her eyes. She crosses her arms when goosebumps spread across her tan skin.
“What troubles you, Kimmímila?”
The voice is steady and male, and all too familiar. Still, the intrusion startles her. Her eyes fly open wide and she jolts, inhaling sharply. She frowns when she realizes it’s him. 
“What are you doing? It’s late,” she says.
He steps out from the shadows with his pipe in hand. He smells strongly of tobacco. Her father and uncle smoke as well, but she doesn’t like it herself. She’s glad Dean doesn’t either.  
“Easing my mind,” he says, raising his pipe. “I see you’re up to the same thing.”
Mila shakes her head. She returns her attention to the moon. “Go. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Are we not friends, Mila?” he says. “Can’t we talk and share like we used to?”
His voice is disheartened enough that it earns her gaze. She sighs at him. 
“I am sorry, but I can’t give you what you want,” she says. “Don’t test me anymore.”
He pauses with his pipe in hand. It drops to his side, and he takes measured steps closer, until he’s looking down at her. Even with the litheness of his form, he’s still taller and broader than her. His long, dark hair is half pulled onto the top of his head, threaded together with a beaded leather string she made for him when they were children. He has used it ever since. The rest of his hair lays loose down his back, brushing his arms. 
“If you actually loved him, it wouldn’t be a test,” he teases.  
He tries to touch her cheek, but she guides his hand down. She shakes her head and steps away from him. 
“This isn’t a game,” she says. “You know I mean what I say.”
His anger and frustration surfaces, with a sharp exhale of breath and the crunch of his dark brows.
“You would choose the Outlander over your own people,” he accuses.
Mila’s gaze is firm as she heads back to her tipi. If he will not be reasonable, then she will make it clear enough to hurt. 
“I choose him over you,” she says. 
Then, she slips back inside.     
The shadow outside remains, just long enough for the moon to become clear past the moving clouds. 
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In the morning, Mila goes to her uncle, Chief Tahatan. She finds her parents there in his tipi as well, all of them sharing breakfast. Her aunt passes around more bread and wojapi, a sweet mixed berry sauce, while her father is resting a broken ankle. He’s complaining again, even though it happened over a week ago now. 
“If you hadn’t let the horse buck you off, you wouldn’t be hurting,” she says sharply now. She’s become annoyed with his griping. “Or better yet, you can finally admit that you’re beyond the years of breaking young stallions.” 
Chatan is the Horsemaster of their tribe, and has been since Mila was a little girl, inheriting the position from her great uncle, the former chief’s younger brother. Mila knows, however, that Chatan is getting too old to do the harder work. Many years have meant many battles too, and they’ve taken their toll on his bones. 
An idea grows in her mind, and she goes to sit beside her father. She applies the poultice Eyota gives Weaya for him, before rewrapping his ankle.
“Father,” she begins, imploring him gently, “perhaps Dean could help you care for the horses.”
Chatan eyes her with a frown. “Your husband already has his hands filled with training.” 
“Šóta and Takoda can’t do it all themselves, and Dean has experience with breaking young horses,” she reasons.  
Chatan ignores her and hefts himself to his feet without her or his wife’s help. He leaves with her mother on his heels, even though she looks back at her daughter apologetically. You know your father, her eyes say. 
Mila frowns at his back, both frustrated and upset. When they’re gone, she heaves a sigh. She remains determined though. 
She goes to Chief Tahatan next. He sits in his chair of whicker and wood while he smokes his pipe. Her aunt has gone to help the other women harvesting chokeberries and wild onions. Mila will go there soon, but first, she has business here.
“Uncle,” she says. 
He makes a sound of acknowledgement, crossed between a grunt and a groan. He knows what's coming. She kneels at his feet and touches his hand in a sign of humbleness, reverence, and familial love all at once. 
“Uncle,” she repeats. “Dean has done nothing but try to please Father, but still, he’s being stubborn…will you talk to him? Please?”
Tahatan sighs deeply. “You must understand your father, child. The decision you’ve made affects us all.”
“I do understand, Uncle. But the truth of it is, none of you have given Dean a chance to prove himself.”
“His chance is right now,” Tahatan says, his tone more stern. “Have I not been gracious? Did I not allow him to stay and live among us?”
“Yes, but you continue to judge him in your mind, like everyone else,” she says. The Chief remains quiet. She moves to stand before him, holding his gaze directly. “Let us perform the Huŋkápi.”
Huŋkápi. The Making of Relatives. Her people first created the tradition to make peace between Lakota and rival tribes, like the Ree. It can even be used to unite extended families within the tribe, especially in times of marriage. There is no better time for it, she thinks. 
The Chief shakes his head. “Kimmímila.”
“Is he not my husband?” she says. “In the eyes of our people, this is the joining of two families, and accepting an outsider into our tribe. That is exactly what the ceremony is for.”
“He has no family,” Tahatan snaps. “It is not exactly the tradition.”
“Then let us make it new,” she argues.
Tahatan hesitates. He shakes his head and rubs at his chin in a gesture of long-suffering. He thanks the spirits that he never had daughters. While he loves his niece, he has never envied his brother. 
“I will think on it,” he says. 
Mila frowns, but she tries her best to accept this, for now. She thanks him respectfully and leans in to kiss his cheek. Tahatan grunts an acknowledgement and watches her go with another shake of his head, despite a small smile. Between her and his sons, they will keep adding years to his life. 
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On her way out of the Chief’s tipi, she runs into her cousin, Šóta. He walks with all the comfortable cockiness of a rooster among his harem.
“Good morning, sister,” he greets, even as he playfully pulls at her braid and tosses it into her face.
She flicks it away and meets him with an irritated frown. She’s in no mood to be teased, especially by him. “You’re still a child.”
“Ho-ho, hey now,” he chuckles, and he cuts off her path by standing in her way, crossing his arms. “Watch it. When I become Chief, don’t think I’ll let you talk to me so disrespectfully, my sister.”
“Just because you will be Chief one day does not make you wise,” she says. Her voice is as sharp as the snap of a blackberry vine. “And don’t call me sister. You have lost that right.”
Šóta finally becomes serious; he realizes that she means what she says.
“What are you talking about? What have I done?” he asks, more earnestly.
“It’s what you haven’t done,” Mila snaps. “If you were a good leader, you would take your father’s words to heart when he accepted my husband into our tribe. If you were my brother, you wouldn’t let the men mock him. If you were a man at all, you would do what is right. You would be guiding him right now, instead of letting the others ‘train’ him.”
She storms away from him, leaving Šóta feeling irritated, but also with an uncomfortable feeling beginning to churn in his gut. 
Mila moves brusquely through the camp until she reaches the clearing edged by the forest. There the horses are fenced in. They’ve been given their food and water for the morning, so they’re rather frisky as they clop around and graze.
She looks for Mato. Baby is no doubt with Dean today, so the Kiger mustang keeps to himself underneath a large sycamore tree. His tail flicks when she approaches, and he turns to her with a sound of greeting. She allows her hand to run along his dun-colored coat as she draws closer.
“I need you, my friend,” she whispers. 
She holds his snout, pressing her forehead against his as she squeezes her eyes shut against the burn of frustrated tears. Mato bumps her shoulder with his nose, softly whinnying. She smiles, sniffling, and rubs his cheek. 
“Let’s go for a ride.”
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AN: Well, here we go! Sorry for ending on some angst, but here we've got the pieces in motion for a fun-filled, four-part sequel. 😂💜 Dean and Mila are both struggling in their own ways while he tries to navigate this new world he's trying to live in.
And how do you think he's gonna react to the "mystery man" trying to win her back? 😬
Pronunciation Guide:
Šóta ("sho-tah") Chatan ("chat-tan") Tahatan ("ta-hat-tann") Otaktay ("ogh-tac-tay") Weaya ("we-ayy-ya") Takoda ("ta-koda") Mato ("matt-toe") Misae ("mee-sah-eh")
Next Time:
But she feels a shadow at her feet as she ventures through the village. They are getting bigger as a tribe, harder to move when they need to, and it’s more mouths to feed, but it’s also a good thing. Despite all the challenges the past few decades have brought, their people are enduring. 
However, she pushes these thoughts to the back of her mind when she feels a prickling down the back of her neck. It’s followed shortly by the strong hand that closes on her wrist, and the man that calls her name. 
She gasps and whips around. He is there, gently shushing her. She glares at him and tries to pull her hand out of his grip. 
Read Part 2 now on Patreon! (Coming next Friday)
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