#I hope act 2 is better because it’s hard to keep going rn

[fersrsbizniz]

Update on my playthrough:

Neve is legitimately the one person keeping me going in this game

She’s my Varric from DA2

[softxsuki]

can I have a urgent request please

I'm having a really hard time with my mental health and I really been question living at times but being able to come on your tumblr page when I'm just tired of everything make my whole day better I really love you and your stuff u can always put a smile on my face! (I'm sorry if I'm ranting at this point so I'll just ask now)

can you make gojo with fem reader and their just play fighting like their just saying stupid insults at each other?

like gojo says smt like

gojo "okay u big fly"

and the reader say smt like

reader "Okay u greasy pig"

(I just really want something silly and happy rn to keep my mind off things and I'm so sorry for having you do this since there are so many other people going though a harder time and i understand 100% if you dont wanna write but ill be so grateful if you do anyways have a great day)

please and thank you

Play Fighting With Gojo

Pairing: Gojo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none?

Genre: Fluff

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 280

Summary: In which Gojo teases you when you play fight

[A/N: Hi hun, hope this helps you out <3]

Gojo:

When it comes to play fighting, Gojo is a natural at verbally teasing you or annoying you

You know that one scene in season 2 where he says “You crying?” in that teasing tone and that annoying look on his face? That’s literally how he acts with you during your playful banter moments

I can’t picture him actually throwing insults at you even if it was in a joking matter, but he doesn’t mind if you call him an idiot or any other playful insults like that to him–it kinda gets him all excited LOL

Sometimes he even takes things a little more physical with his teasing and play fighting

Days when you’re at the beach or pool together, he’d lift you up and throw you in the water, pouty that you wouldn’t join him in the water so he takes matters into his own hands

When baking together, he’d be annoying and shove some flour in your face, making a huge mess because it just leads into one big food fight–he’s fair though and keeps his infinity off so he’s also getting dirty

“What’s wrong, my little gremlin?” That’s about as close to an insult from him as you’d get, he tries to make you crack a smile when you’re not feeling so great

Gojo thrives on sarcasm and teasing, it’s kinda his way of showing love outside of his clinginess and the times when he drowns you in kisses

So there will be times when you can’t help but just roll your eyes at his actions and comments, but he makes life exciting and he’s always there to cheer you up when you’re having a bad day

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 11/12/2023

[six-eyed-samurai]

HEHEHEHEHEHEH OK DIFFERENT REQUEST THIS TIME AND I THINK YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE MAYBE I DREW THE TR BOYS REALLY BAD AND ALSO AS HORRORS BEYOND HUMAN COMPREHENSION SO UHH DO WHAT U WANT WITH THEM, HERE ARE SOME PROMPTS BUT UHHH YOU CAN HONESTLY DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. LMAO YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT IT U CAN JUST HAVE THEM

prompt 1: friend gives really short amount of time to draw someone and this is what happens prompt 2: "i felt silly" *sends you a picture of a drawing depicting you as a horrifying being(ran & sanzu) /in pain (koko)/ literal insanity (rindou) ok looveee u and ur work n i hope i made your day again!!!!

Happy to see you again girl!!! But with no offense intended when I opened that drawing I nearly dropped my phone (TR men Eldritch Horror version). Sadly my iFake doesn't support images so I had to manually type

Y'all I based this crack off typical convos with my friends in art (hating on Kafka so bad with my girl Hina) 🤣🤣🤣

MAD DOG: I felt silly

MAD DOG: I know y'all love it don't lie

RIN RIN: This is why I keep the chat muted

MAD DOG: You wound me, I worked so hard!

MIKEY KING: I've seen kindergartens do better

MAD DOG: Not you too Mikey!!!!

SUGAR KOKO: What just happened

All I see are exclamation marks and that's not good

RIN RIN: Scroll up for yet another disaster by Sanzu

SUGAR KOKO: Wtf

I wish I didn't

Wait my eyes aren't that small

RIN RIN: Are you even sure you want my eyes

SUGAR KOKO: Can I not be in the drawing at all

MIKEY KING: Agreed

If I see that again there go all of your taiyaki rights

MAD DOG: Oh look who's being a kindergartener now

SUGAR KOKO: Mikey you never gave a single taiyaki before

RIN RIN: Fr

No difference

MIKEY KING: How do you know I wasn't planning to???

MAD DOG: Not even for me you wouldn't

MIKEY KING: Sanzu after that drawing you can't even say even because no way

MAD DOG: Bullying is no no

RIN RIN: Wym bullying

SUGAR KOKO: Yeah it's truth

I literally look so in pain and after seeing it I am

RIN RIN: I look like a literal insane psychopathic murderer from a max security prison

SUGAR KOKO: Sounds familiar

I know!

Sanzu Haruchiyo

RIN RIN: Sanzu Haruchiyo

MIKEY KING: Sanzu Haruchiyo

MAD DOG: WHY ARE ALL OF YOU GANGING UP ON ME

DON'T ACT LIKE YOU GUYS AREN'T PSYCHOTIC MURDERERS

RIN RIN: Just you actually

MAD DOG: RAN WHERE ARE YOU BACK ME UP RN IM SOBBING

SUGAR KOKO: you're on your own pal

RIN RIN: he's asleep again

HOTTER HAITANI: now I'm awake and ready to bless all of you with my presence!

RIN RIN: I just cringed so hard

SUGAR KOKO: Ew what the actual hell

Ykw go back to sleep

MAD DOG: RAN MY FRIEND

Does my drawing flatter us all or what

RIN RIN: Ran I will mess up your dye job so bad

MAD DOG: Don't listen to the unbelievers!

HOTTER HAITANI: Of course not

Lemme see lemme see

SUGAR KOKO: oh god

MIKEY KING: I'm leaving

MAD DOG: you're still here?

HOTTER HAITANI: SANZU MY FRIEND

IT'S ABSOLUTELY MARVELLOUS

I LOVE RINDOU

I'M FRAMING IT ON THE FRIDGE

MAD DOG: I KNEW IT

I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS SPECIAL

I KNEW I WAS THE NEXT PICASSO

RIN RIN: the both of you

SUGAR KOKO: stfu Annabelle

You too Pinky

MIKEY KING: you are now my number two Koko

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

could you say what happens in the time machine? i really want to watch it but im flat broke rn.

also only just saw this sorry! this is gonna be a summary of the entire show, so if you don't want spoilers then don't keep reading.

so basically it's about three people who are trying to put on a new groundbreaking version of the time machine. one of these people is dave wells, the great great grandson of h.g wells. his production of the show is not just supposed to be a straight production, but also provide evidence that h.g wells actually did figure out how to time travel. he and his two coworkers, amy and michael, create a piece that is a mismatch of scenes from the novel, evidence of h.g wells's time travelling experiences, lessons on how time travel works, and recreations of how they created the show itself (and also cher songs). at the end of act 1, dave realises that their prop time machine, which was actually h.g wells's lecturing chair, actually IS the time machine, as he tries to use it for the scene where the time traveler goes into the future, but keeps accidentally travelling back to the beginning of the scene. after repeating the scene many times, with amy and michael unaware of the time travelling happening and dave trying to figure out what's going on with the chair, michael accidentally gets stabbed with the knife they believed to be a prop, but he had forgotten to switch out. as michael dies, dave has the idea to go back in time and fix it so that he never does.

in act 2, amy and michael are doing the beginning of act 1 again, seemingly unaware of the fact that the audience have already seen this. dave appears and interrupts, not in costume, and the audience finds out that he's been time traveling for a while now, constantly repeating the play in an effort to save michael to the point where he knows exactly what amy and michael will say. he explains to amy and michael no matter what he does, michael always dies, even if not in the exact same way, because the laws of time mean that you cannot go back in time to save or destroy a persons existence. amy, in an effort to prove him wrong, sarcastically goes to try out the machine, and time travels and sees all of the possibilities of michael's death. amy comes up with the idea to contact the future, as they will have the technology to better understand the space-time continuum and may have a way to save michael. they get an audience member to write a letter to their university to put in a time capsule, with the phone number of a different audience member's phone (which they keep on stage), so that the scientists from the future can use their fancy technology to call them during the show. to pass the time while they wait for the phone call from the future, they do a variety of activities, including but not limited to michael going on a date with an audience member, quickly running some scenes from the time machine, and an 'importance of being earnest' hip hip dance mashup. with two minutes remaining until michael's death and the phone still not having rung, michael gets angry with his situation and destroys the time machine to save the rest of humanity, but this means that dave and amy will be unable to go back in time and try and save him again, meaning this will be the last time they ever see him. as the seconds count down, they brace themselves, but as the time passes and michael doesn't die, they finally receive the phone call. the scientist explains that destroying the time machine bought them a few minutes, and after some confusion over an instruction, they manage to save michael from being crushed by the falling set. the end!

it's a very fun show in my opinion, it's not an overly high quality piece of theatre or anything, but if you're willing to embrace the silliness, i highly recommend it! you can buy or rent it from the original theatre website (or if you dm me i do have the recordings of it). hope that made at least a smidgen of sense, it's a hard show to summarise ahaha.

[localgardenweed]

What are your tips for learning another language like Spanish?

Opened my phone ay work to find this and i honestly not sure because i grew up with the language, it was technically my first language before english became more dominant but i also still very much struggle with spanish but know i have a much easier time learning it than people who literally only know one language so like im like ehhh i’ll try my best to explain some tips. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL SO TAKE THIS WAS SO MUCH SALT BRO SO MUCH DROWN IN THE SALT

Just start off slow and choppy, don’t rush into it and just start with the alphabet and like children’s stories. They’re simple for kids to learn to read and simple for you to learn and understand. Keep advancing the reading levels to your likings. I used to read this one like kids book that was English one way and you flipped it over and it was Spanish the other way. Also the ones where they have it in English one sentence and translate the sentence below/above it is good too. Just go to the store and loiter at the spanish book section

Write short paragraphs or sentences whatever you’re comfortable with, put them into either like google translate or test em out in the wild or someone you know who knows spanish to see if it’s understandable. It doesn’t matter if it’s like really wordy or choppy, all that’s matters rn is that you’re understood about what you want to do/say. Just get the basic message across and build from there by adding slang, shortcuts etc etc.

Context clues. Do you remember in grade school when your teacher was teaching you how to figure o it what a word meant by the worfs around it? Yeah use it while you learn. Honestly a lot of reading comprehension is carried over so do a lot of that.

Rn to brush up on my comprehension and just to get more comfortable with Spanish since im in AP Spanish and scared shitless ill suck im rewatching Amphibia but in Spanish. So try to watch your favorite shows in Spanish, try with your preferred language subtitles (warning they might not always match up since certain things can’t be translated directly/ not enough time to execute) and then switching to Spanish. Or just hop straight into Spanish if you know how to read it. I love doing this cause if i dont understand what was said i still know the context of the situation so i can try to piece together what was said

Watch videos and follow along, make charts with all the tense endings, WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN DAWG I STILL HAVE MY VOCAB SHEETS FROM SPANISH 2 SOPHOMORE YEAR I DID NOT TRUST MYSELF TO REMEMBER ANYTHING.

Know that Spanish varies from country to country especially the vocabulary because in my house a swimming pool was un alberca but in class i was taught it was un piscina. Both are correct like how in the US people said soda or pop. Don’t think you fucked up too hard it’s probably just called smth else according to some people. Try to learn a few just in case.

Have fun with it, and be humble about it do not be that person who is like super snobby that they know spanish (this applies to any language too) and then like say something so horribly with such confidence like be humble know you will fuck up and it will happen. Its better to say “this is gonna be so shitty im still learning spanish” than try acting like you knew it all along. You will try and fail, and you just gotta get back up. Don’t try to push the process too hard, this takes time and i mean a lot of time. Make sure you surround yourself with people who are gonna support and help you as with any task

I still struggle saying 60 and 70 like that is a struggle do not be ashamed. I already have a minor stutter and that hits hard when im saying either or

This is all the wisdom i can bestow upon you anon, i have tried my best and i hope you can find the strength and wisdom to carry on my teachings and one day surpass me

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary162

2/23-24/2024

friday - saturday

not excited for tomorrow.

and this problem song is not going as well as i would like, idk the new tone i came up with just isn't it i think but idk what to do for it rn. the distortion just kinda gets too bassy w/ how i'm doing things rn, it's weird. serum does seem to act better, i'm trying out massive for this, maybe too much of an experiment, to beeeeeee honest. it's not that i dislike the sound but it's soo harsh and percussive, lacks a lot of tonal characteristics, which makes it hard to hear the low end stuff when that plays thru the guitars, it's instead kind of this clicky chugging almost, which sounds good, it's like, maybe i keep this as a layer now, but it's also not the ideal tone for articulating the riffs.

errands day was also like, too much, the bank thing just has to wait cuz everyone was too busy for me to do a walk in. so dumb imo but whatever. i'll be going to the bank on the 26th. the rest of the day was exhausting, being in the car w/ my gf's mom and her brother, both just like, going at eachother sort of. and then it's like, idk. it's just too much, idk how their mom is like that, she just kind of goads people into starting shit it feels like honestly. but it doesn't matter.

or it does, it sucks, i just can't do anything.

honestly, today was just so draining.

i think i got the guitar to sound good, it just needed to be panned wider, crazy how that works, now you can hear the tonal / musical parts of the sound, it's also mixing more w/ that other tone as a layer, now it's something really interesting.

i also saw some interesting stuff online tonight, for some reason, today a lot of people seem extremely miserable, on twitter, that's not the interesting thing but on reflecting the interesting thing is less interesting than that maybe.

the interesting thing had to do w/ bullying but i guess it starts from a strange point/other person's tweet, which is that zoomers don't ever see bullying anymore, and idk, maybe that's true, i hope so, but i think i count as a zoomer and basically, when this one person says that victims of bullying are 'anomalies', it should be observed that every school has 'anomalies' and some anomalies really are unique to that school or whatever, for whatever reasons, certain kinds of people, maybe especially bad fights for (x) reasons, and some anomalies are just certain types of people appearing, and they're usually in every school. i wasn't bullied because i basically cleared a certain bar, and maybe that bar doesn't exist anymore, but i did see a guy get mercilessly bullied basically, his deal was that he was maybe delusional, maybe eccentric, he'd say he was king from tekken and shadow the hedgehog, and kids would mess with him. to get him to not fight people i'd have to intervene and tell him that there were chaos emeralds in another direction and that'd get people to lose interest because he really would turn around and run off to look for them. this was in highschool, in gym. it feels odd to talk about now because i want to have not been inside 'boy's gym' or i don't want to admit it as part of my existence, like, not as a source of dysphoria or shame, i never participated, i just wish it didn't have to be there at all, it feels weird, but it was true. as it is, i'd see people who were mostly normal, turn somewhat vicious when around that kid. basically, that period of time in each day seemed carved out as a sort of bloodletting period for some kind of excess of negativity, at least that seemed to be how it was imagined. i saw another weird kid get bullied, he was more normal than the guy who believed he was shadow the hedgehog, and for that he was bullied less, but he still seemed eccentric enough to be a target.

obviously this is all a single account and not any kind of sample, but it feels i guess strange to say that bullying is an anomaly at this point. it might just have been better worked into sociality/there's different means people go about this. what i saw was very basic, teasing, taking people's stuff, throwing it in the bathroom. even things like continually asking other men things like 'you have a boner man? are you gay?', weird shit, obviously, i can't imagine it's like that anymore. it's not that i think it's human nature or something, i hate that kind of thinking, but i think basically school tends to breed a kind of cruelty and by its hierarchic nature people are going to tend to work to exclude in some way, since that becomes the way you 'person' yourself. but maybe not. idk. i am not a teen anymore and better for it, it just is a weird thing to talk/think about. it also feels narrowed by the places these discourses occur, cascading comments confirming/denying, anything that builds to anything larger in the threads or whatever just seems a bit like, idk. something about it, i can never take it like some people do, it always feels like i have some weird issue with it, maybe that's me, not just the delivery but the content itself, as well as the delivery ofc. it's weird. it's not pointless but i don't think i even need to respond to the thread i was thinking of at all, it's not even the thing i take issue w/ in this case. although i guess it references a book i dislike (theory of a young boy or whateverrr(i need to get back to theory of the young girl soon as well, maybe after cybernetic hypothesis)).

the song definitely is sounding better now, i think i need to figure out how to cut some lows to get better definition in them, there's something a bit too, idk, it's the sound thunder makes as it reverberates out, kinda, maybe i remove some of the low cutting in the spring reverb pre distortion. and then what idk, maybe cut around 600hz? hard to say where that sound's at. and maybe i need to do something with the bass so it doesn't cut that range in the guitars? idk. strange stuff, to get that low end to bite more, but it'd be worth it.

i'll also have to figure this all out tomorrow since i need to sleep soon. tomorrow i also want to like. look at pictures of pretty clothes or something too, from that forum or something, surface more junk or whatever, it'd be cute.

i went and looked now actually, before bed, found some really cool stuff from china:

really crazy stuff, almost psychotically 2007, some of this. but my fav is of course the crazy retro sci fi 60s glam thing, it's so cool to me. i lurveee it.

also, a weird thing from tonight, i was walking around where i grew up, or 'walking' on google street view, it let me go back to when they first got pics of our house for that, in 2009. really strange seeing the place i grew up, all of that neighborhood, in 2009 vs. now. it's palpably sad and there's a real sense of like, what used to be, when i see the house from years ago, it used to have green trim, and be cute, the trees were healthier, my mom's car didn't get stolen, her happy attachment to independence was still there, soon to disappear. i loved that car so much. there was something out for trash that i remember always being in the back yard, this pool ladder, it made you itchy if you touched it, cuz it was just cheap and awful plexiglass. it felt weird seeing that for the first time in 15 years. i was 10-11 then, there were insane things happening to me that point of my life. i was absorbing too much, getting too online already by that point, and everything.

anyway, i need to sleep, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[goldenlie]

glad we share an opinion queen!! also getting annoyed because of 4 year old acting like a 4 year old is incredibly valid to me tbh definitely had my own share of yup definitely no chlidren for me ever moments. I feel like later on it gets a little better because now we are focusing more on Kazuki and Rei's past and issues each of them brings to the table lmao I usually have issue only when people claim Miri isn't at all acting like an actual 4 year old and compare her to... Anya... a child who can literally read minds 😐 and will change her behaviour accordingly to what she hears as we have seen her do many times before and I didn't even watch all of spy x family like sir surely you are joking right now?? anyways I hope you are doing well, it's been a while ^_^ what are you up to these days? hope uni isn't giving you too much of a hard time!

(formerly) QQQQQNFFFFFF ENJOYYEEEERRR!!!! AGNESSS!!! It's so good to hear form you <3

If there's one thing I'm reliant at its being a bit of a hater to kids antics, I simply lack the gift of patience. I am right there with you in those moments I'm ngl. Okay the focus on more of their past dynamic and potentially how they got to be in the profession they're in sounds pretty interesting. The potential for angst skyrockets with each word I hear about this show and I am loving it.

That is,,,, a real unique comparison people have made. As someone who has suffered through two seasons of spyxfamily I can definitely vouch that Anya and Miri are not similar characters at all (To clarify spy family was good up until every progression the characters had was wrote away for a cheap punchline or coincidental memory loss, literally happened every second episode after s1 ep9). The only similarity between the two shows point blank is the premise. I would assume people are trying to draw nonexistent parallels purely based off of that, I have no idea as to why though. From what I saw (so, so little) Miri was undoubtedly acting like a four year old, when she spilt that drink in episode 2 it was very on brand kid looking for attention, I thought it showed her age pretty well. Anya as an older character, literally six years old, but she had a lot more motives at play. Obviously she's still young and immature but a lot more mature than Miri nonetheless. Anya could play strategy and was attempting to aid Loid with his spy missions, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume Miri is not going to locate a bomb or something in the remaining 10 eps I have to watch. Miri seems to be a much more honest and open character whereas Anya can be more scheming and conniving (I say with love, I did like Anya's character up until everyone minus Yor became very dislikable very fast), for her own self preservation. The two of them are pretty incomparable, I can see where your disbelief is coming from.

Uni is making me spin in a circle five times and then jump through a hoop 2 meters off the ground. The biggest thing rn is finding time to carry out experiments for my thesis which I will hopefully finish up with this week! It's actually such coincidental timing but this week I have to give a presentation on the most impactful book I've ever read (purely to build confidence in public speaking, damn though, thought I was in science so I didn't have to talk personally) which was extremely difficult considering all impactful "books" I've read in the past four years have been on ao3. So I ended up scavenging through our old messages trying to locate some book recs you had! I actually ended up with another recommendation from the bts boy though, who was reading Almond, this one is called "The Midnight Library" and sounded pretty intriguing! I'll be reading it tonight and tomorrow so if it's worth it I'll update you. What about you queen, are you still working in the job you started last year? I hope it's been going well if so! I know you're into buddy dads these days but anything else been keeping you occupied? Anime wise myself I'm actually about halfway through hunter x hunter?? I started the end of December and it intrigued me ngl. I'm not sure if you've seen but it's very easy to like the main character and his three main besties so I'm looking forward to seeing how things progress further. I also watched the entirety of Voltron out of pure curiosity for how bad the ending was? And I was surprised to see it was actually as shit as they say. However comma the show did lose its appeal much much earlier, have you ever watched? I actually finished up a kdrama series recently as well I believe you recommended me last year called Beyond Evil and holy fucking shit was it good. Usually I fear for around the halfway mark of kdramas that they lose their purpose but I swear they had only warmed up the engine by ep 8. It was addictive to watch and I was so immersed, my love dong sik and his relationship with inspector Han growing and changing throughout the series was extremely interesting to watch unfold. They were a powerful duo when they worked together and I will miss the thrill of each ep.

I hope you've been having a good time in general queen and things have been going well for you :D

[pervysenpaix]

single mother y/n hasn’t had dick in soooo long she forgets how to act when dickhead deku! grabs her by the bonnet and slides his thick 8 inch cock inside her creamy and tight abandoned pussy😟, raising a 1 year old all alone was so hard she never had time for dating or random hookups but finally indulging into dekus advances was the best thing she’s done in a while 😩 he’s in her guts and she’s being so loud completely forgetting her 1 year old is sound asleep right in the next room in her tiny 2 bedroom apartment

“Oohhh my god”

“w-wait deku i haven’t had sex in so long s-so don’t go so hard”

“this dick is so goooddd”

“ yes yes yes yes yes”

“right there baby you’re going to make me cum”

“fuck you’re going to get me pregnant again” (he’s not her baby daddy btw)

but anyways 20 minutes later we’re on the edge of the bed with her ankles in his hands as he continues to drill our shit until our baby starts crying 😟

“your baby’s crying”

you can barely even talk rn

“aren’t you going to ask me to pull out so you can see what’s wrong?”

*continues creaming and screaming*

“oh wow how do you expect me to get you pregnant when you can’t even properly take care of your first kid”

“dick more important?”

“nasty ass bitch”

when we finally come to our senses we beg him to pull out so we can see why are baby is crying and he hesitantly obliges, smacking our ass as our wobbly legs make our way to the nursery just to give our beautiful baby boy a pacifier that fell out 😒

after the deed was done we have deku sitting up on the headboard dick still hard and arms crossed behind his back

“well it’s not going to ride itself cmere”

(sorry i was very horny and really hope you indulge in this but i realized i kinda wrote every thing out on accident)

Bitch pls cause you wrote the whole fucking thing.

Cause dickhead Deku would definitely be over there eating your kids fruitsnacks waiting for him to go to bed so he can fuck you into a coma.

Threatening to call CPS on your deadbeat ass because you’re more concerned with ✨cock✨ than childcare.

And maybe he’s saying that you need to learn to be a better mother so he’s gonna fill you up, get you pregnant so you can get a redo and he’s gonna keep knocking you up until you do better 🥴

[web-spinning]

Okay I hope you're prepared for a flood of reqs lmao

- So Reader's like, new to the mercs (she works as a mercenary too)

- She's kind of like Scout how she's kinda annoying and energetic/happy-go-lucky

- Everyone kind of.... either don't like her or think she's like... oddly happy all the time (so they find her weird)

- One day they just here screaming and stuff

- She's literally in her room curled into a ball (she's like facing the floor and stuff)

- Hitting her head and sobbing

- She's not saying any coherent words, just screaming and crying, not noticing anyone come in

- What's everyone's reaction?

(I've decided just to ask you one for now, but I hope you know I have like, 2 others in my head rn XD)

A / N- Aaaaaa please please keep your ideas in for like until Monday, okay? I have so many requests, I am running low on doing them because of the match ups. Please, have mercy.

Mercs reaction to a usually happy and energetic reader crying.

Tw. Slight mentions of a mental breakdown, hurt / no comfort in Soldier's, Heavy's and Medic's one.

Scout 

- he's not a kind of person to let anybody see him at his worst as well,

- he probably just wanted to exchange a word, or take back the sport magazine he borrowed you earlier ( he can't read, but he likes to look at the pictures ), 

- however, when he notices you curled up in bed, crying, he's out of words, 

- at first he wants to leave, but he realizes you noticed he already entered the room, 

- calmly, he approaches your side and asks what's wrong, 

- he's a bit awkward about it, still tries his best to cheer you up, 

- he doesn't think much of it. He realizes it's hard to show off your emotions in front of everyone, 

Soldier

- we all know Jane be a bit not understanding, 

- but if he ever spots you in a situation like this, he has no idea what to do, 

- at first he wants to come in and tell you to man up, 

- then he realizes if he was in this situation he wouldn't like someone to say something like this, 

- quietly, he walks away, 

- never once mentions it again, 

Pyro 

- they hear a crying person from five miles away, 

- quickly walks to your room, enters without knocking, 

- he's not alone. They're bringing a Balloonicorn plushie along, 

- probably shoves it to your side, which makes you turn your attention to him, 

- " Murr hurr? Mh mhph hurr mpha mprh ", 

- they gladly sit by your side, and listen to you rant about what's bothering you, 

Demoman 

- Tavish was probably going back to his room in the base, when he heard odd noises coming from your room, 

- he knocked, but received no reply. A bit concerned, he opened the door and entered the room, only to see what condition you were in, 

- he asks if you want to talk about it, 

- it's okay if you say no, however he will stay in the room with you, 

- he doesn't want you to hurt yourself in any way, 

- probably tries to cheer you up, 

- when you're feeling better he will invite you to watch a movie together, 

Heavy 

- he's not the kind of person you would expect to care, 

- on the outside, he doesn't seem to care, 

- he won't enter the room, but he gives himself a mental note of what he saw and heard, 

- doesn't tell anybody about it, 

- although you can clearly tell he started caring more for you on the battlefield, for example by telling you to back off and taking it on himself, 

Engineer 

- Dell is probably the least awkward person about it, 

- he just carefully asks if he can come in, approaches you and tells you not to worry, 

- most likely even pets your back to make you feel better, 

- you can tell him everything that's on your mind, he won't judge, 

- reassures you it's okay to have worst moments, 

- after that, he makes sure to check on you a bit more often, 

Medic 

- he acts an awful lot like Heavy, 

- the difference being, even though he walks away, he then calls you in into his lab, 

- asks you general questions about your mental state, 

- he pretends it's for science's sake, when actually he doesn't want your state to affect your performance in the team, 

Sniper 

- it's like his worst nightmare, 

- he's not the best at comforting, and he would feel like a coward if he walked away, 

- probably enters the room, tries to reassure you and thinks he's making it awkward, 

- where in reality, he's very helpful, 

- eventually he runs out of words, which results in him just inviting you to his van for a drink, 

- please accept, he's lonely there, 

Spy

- don't expect any good words from this snake,

- pretends not to hear, walks away…at first,

- it's none of his business, he prefers to care for himself, or people way closer to him, 

- then midway through he realizes that’s a bit too cold, even for him, 

- he sloppily knocks on the door, 

- if you let him in, he will try to cheer you up, but the best he can do is bring you into a hug. 

[taikova]

Yooo since you're reading bnha (amazing art!!!!) i gotta ask... what you think of Bakugo 👉👈 of course feel free not to answer if you would prefer not to! Really glad we have all the other favorites in common tho cause I'm living for those fanarts rn

Hey! And thank you!

bakugou is a fine, well written character and i've warmed up to him lately (for obvious manga spoiler reasons.. which i will go into so spoiler warning) but it has long rubbed me the wrong way how midoriya's perspective on being his bullying victim has been and still continues to be very subdued or at a standstill. every time its come up between the two, it has been about bakugou's struggle and development. [cut for length]

beyond the story being deliberately written that way by a person with their own biases and preferences (which is fair), it is a consequence of 1. midoriya having not really taken a look at his life and himself, since he hasnt been encouraged/forced to do so like bakugou repeatedly has (getting physically maimed doesnt seem to ring any warning bells for him whatsoever) since he got an opportunity for greatness that exists outside of himself (/is bigger than himself), and which keeps him very busy and distracted. PLUS his views of himself and what he should be align with the mha society's views on how a hero should act (striving for a singular, unbreakable, selfless symbol of peace) which means theres not similiar outside pressure for deep introspection, and 2. from a storytelling perspective, bakugo being tightly wound in midoriyas view of himself - he looks up to bakugo and wants to beat him, because he values bakugou's views and drive... which is likely also why he has taken bakugou's "useless" nickname to heart, and every failure he faces as he's desperately trying to claw his way out of that moniker (or trying to change the meaning of it on its head) makes him feel worthless all over again, but still unable to take a deeper look at himself. Which is why he fights so hard against it, trying to become a hero who goes against that core view of himself which had been cultivated over years and years of bullying and even physical assault.

like... midoriya really really looks up to and admires bakugou and his opinion (not all of them, just.. he's definitely affected by things he does and says), thus it would make sense that only once bakugou acknowledges and openly regrets their shared past and how he treated midoriya, is Midoriya able to acknowledge to himself how he's been super unfairly treated and hurt. Assuming theres time before shit hits the fan. I do hope we get to see it.

all of that^ seems to be about to be cracked open in canon currently/ soon? I strongly think midoriya's flaws and his desire to prove himself at all costs, and be personally responsible for everything alone (and accompanying lack of consideration to how that belief and attitude belittles the effort and trustworthiness of the people around him) are directly tied to how he was victimized and made feel worthless for being quirkless his whole young life, on top of... Living in a society. bakugo is always the loudest and most personal cause for those feelings, given his proximity to the core of mha's story and themes and physical proximity to midoriya and how their arcs and lives are endlessly intertwined, and how much time is spent on bakugou's development and how bakugo represents a reminder of the "worthless deku" life midoriya tried to leave behind since given OFA quirk (or before that, probs since he was 4) despite also representing the opposite.

i guess ive found it frustrating how long its taken for midoriya's struggle with himself to be acknowledged while bakugo, who can be blamed for a big part of it (tho obviously not shoulder all of the responsibility), had a lot of chapter time spent on him, kept growing and getting better in heaps and bounds, and how the story always seemed to sideline midoriya in favor of bakugo. but as i said, given how the story panned out so far, i have come to peace with it, and the frustration doesnt bother me as much. im glad bakugou's grown so much. im just much more interested in seeing what deku's perspective will look like now, if it shifts for the healthier (i kind of hope he will have the wherewithal to grow a bit more distant from bakugou as he needs to process things, but thats just what id personally prefer)

i talked more about deku than bakugou, which, my bad, but i think that kind of answers your question too? more than what i could say abt bakugou with words.

[craigslistdiavolo]

Could I request the brothers + the dateables with an MC that gets really clingy and cuddly when tired?

This is so adorable I love it 🤧 also reminder that Luke is included unless you specifically ask not to have him, however he will ALWAYS be platonic because he is literally a child.

Genre - Fluff

Warnings - Language

-

Lucifer

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He's a little shocked by your clinginess the first few times, but eventually he gets used to it

For the rare occasions where he actually gets some sleep, he won't be able to sleep unless you're around

You sometimes cling to him when you fall asleep and he's doing paperwork

Sometimes he'll just be standing in the kitchen making dinner, and then you come up to him and you just shove your face into his back or shoulder and hug him because you're tired

He'll act annoyed but everyone knows that he loves it

Mammon

The first time that you cuddle up to him because you're tired, he's gonna get so freaked out and his face is gonna be bright red

"Oi human! What do ya think you're doing?"

The first few times, he's gonna get all blushy and embarrassed, but he's gonna get used to it pretty quick

He loves getting cuddles from you

No matter what time it is, he's always looking forward to cuddles

You may be the one who gets clingy and cuddly when you're tired, but once this boy has experienced the cuddles he's never going back, basically Mammon is gonna wanna be cuddling you as much as he can lol

Leviathan

The first time you get clingy and cuddle up to him, he was probably playing video games and you were sitting next to him

You cuddle into him and he jumps because he's so shocked, he had a super red face

"M-MC what are you doing?"

It's gonna take him a long time to get used to you cuddling up to him

He's still gonna get a bit nervous from time to time when you cuddle up to him

Sometimes when you fall asleep against him, he wraps an arm around you and puts a blanket over the two of you :)

He's eventually gonna get used to you cuddling up to him and he's gonna start cuddling back

Satan

He'll blush a little, laugh, and ask you if you're tired

He likes to read while you fall asleep with him

Sometimes he falls asleep while reading and just snuggles up to you

He's honestly one of the most chill about you being clingy and cuddling up to him

He really enjoys your presence and likes to lay with you a lot

Satan likes to be held sometimes, so let this boy be little spoon goddamn 🙄💅

Asmodeus

Oh he fucking loves it

1000%

However he is worried because apparently you need to have what he calls "beauty sleep"

But you're tired and just want to be held, you really don't care about beauty sleep <3

When Asmo is feeling really insecure, he crawls into bed with you because he knows you'll be clingy, and mans just wants to be held

Hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be okay rn 👊😤

Also just in general he loves to get cuddles from you because he thinks it's really sweet and they always make him feel better :)

Beelzebub

Okay so since you're clingy and cuddly when you're tired, this man is perfect to be around

He will hold you and keep you so warm

He's like a walking furnace

Also he just really loves to cuddle and since he's used to Belphie randomly sleeping at all hours of the day, he will always be prepared to cuddle you when you're sleeping

Cuddle puddles with Belphie will end up happening eventually because having cuddles with everyone is really great

He's so sweet, like you'll just be tired and clingy, and he's there to lay with you and cuddle you all you want

Belphegor

Ultimate cuddle buddy

This man gives the best cuddles out of everybody in the Devildom

And he's always gonna be ready to cuddle with you

If you're tired and feeling clingy, just come lay down with him and you guys can hold each other until you both fall asleep

Literally the best person to have around if you're tired, clingy, and in need of cuddles

Also he'll have lots of blankets and pillows, so you'll be warm and really comfortable if you go to cuddle with him 😼

Diavolo

Walking furnace no. 2

This man is so fucking warm

And he's got big arms, so he could give such good cuddles!!!

When I say he's always prepared to cuddle with you and will drop everything so that he can cuddle with you, I mean it

Will literally lay down on the floor of the palace with you and cuddle if you want to

Barbatos probably trips over you guys at some point </3

His bed is huge, so you guys have so much space for cuddles

Basically this man is second to Belphie in giving really good cuddles

Barbatos

If you just come up to him out of nowhere and start to just cuddle him, he'll be a little shocked but he'll just laugh it off and hold you for a little bit until he needs to get back to work

Sadly because he has to work so much, it's a little hard to get cuddles from him when you're feeling tired

But eventually when he does settle in for the night, he's gonna give you the best cuddles that he can manage

Barbatos probably sleeps with like music on, so as you guys are cuddling and falling asleep, there's just some really nice music playing in the background and it's a vibe

He may not always be able to give you cuddles when you're tired, but he's gonna try his best :)

Simeon

Simeon's pretty gentle, so he probably gives really great cuddles

He also really likes to be cuddled, so sometimes when he's tired, he'll be the one curling up next to you

If you come up to him and you're tired and want cuddles, he'll just come over, give you a hug, and lead you to the bed

When you guys cuddle he likes to lay his head on your chest or shoulder

He'll let you sit in his office when you're tired and cuddle him while we writes

You guys end up taking lots of naps together because he tends to fall asleep after a while of you being asleep

Luke

He basically ends up just being like a teddy bear to you

Like you'll be tired and go up to hug him or smth and he just stands there like 🧍‍���️

You guys can make a pillow fort and have a sleepover in it or smth, and you can just like use him as a teddy bear because he won't move

Luke's gonna be super freaked out if you just come up to him when you're tired and give him a hug

Solomon

Solomon will probably tease you a little bit if you come up to him when you're tired and want to cuddle

If he's working with some magic stuff he might push you away or take you to bed so that nothing gets messed up, but also so that you don't get hurt

If you want him to actually come and cuddle with you in bed though, run your fingers through his hair and just hug him and refuse to let go

He's so soft for you even if he doesn't show it all the time, so if you're really tired and just want him to come and cuddle you, he'll finish up with what he was working on so you can lay together and cuddle

At some point you guys are probably gonna end up in a cuddle puddle with Asmo lmao

A/N - I really hope you enjoyed reading this, and I'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical errors because I was finishing this when I woke up lol.

[ushittyoldman]

nobody’s fault but mine (pt. 2)

Levi wouldn’t really be Levi if he knew how to handle his intense feelings for you.

pairing. levi x fem!reader AND a little bit of jean x fem!reader (b/c once again i am a slut 4 jean too)

warnings. some fluff, language (b prepared for a lot of the f-bomb)

a/n. hi sorry 4 the long wait, life is a little hectic rn (it’s snowing n our power has been going out on n off for the past few days lmfao also school b lowkey kicking my ass) BUT i wanted 2 say thank u so so much 4 all ur feedback to part 1 it was so so so unexpected n sweet n flattering i literally still can’t wrap my head around it. i would rly appreciate some feedback 2 this one too since this is A LOT more levi n i actually adored writing him but i would luv 2 know what u guys think of my characterization of him (im a little nervy) but yes feedback is encouraged! this is kinda long but a lot happens so i rly hope u guys appreciate this n enjoy it bc it took me so long 2 write n rewrite it heheheh (side note 4 the sake of age n everything, all the 104th cadets r actually 18+ including our cute lil reader) also! pls continue 2 request more levi ok that’s it 4 now enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“Jean!”

The hushed voices stirred you out of the pleasant state of unconsciousness you had been in. A sharp pain shot through your head as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the bright light. You flexed your fingers subtly as an attempt to gain awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Once you were comfortable, you slowly turned your head to your right and saw a scene you had grown painfully familiar with– Jean arguing with someone. The victim of the week was Armin, and you almost wanted to laugh at the quick back-and-forth between the two.

“Your bedside manner… sucks,” you managed to mumble. You cringed at the uncharacteristic hoarseness of your voice.

“There she is!” Jean exclaimed, shooting a victorious smirk at Armin, before fondly looking down at you, as he moved closer to your side.

You heard multiple gasps of your name, and you quickly turned your head to your left, before regretting it due to the sharp pang that followed in your head. Nevertheless, you mustered up as bright a smile as you could, looking at your friends who had all taken various positions throughout the room. Eren was the first to your bed, embracing you tightly.

“That was scary,” he softly mumbled your name, before pulling back, “Don’t do that again.”

The concern on his face startled you momentarily, and you couldn’t help but avert your eyes. You blinked quickly before looking up and shyly smiling at Eren.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You then looked up at your fellow cadets, who stood surrounding your small bed in the infirmary. Your love for these people sat heavily in your chest, and you beamed up at them, before you realized you were in the infirmary.

“What happened?” you genuinely asked, your husky voice taking you by surprise again.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened!” Jean scowled, crossing his arms in anger, “That little bastard—”

“Jean, you can’t say that about the Captain!” Sasha chided, looking sideways in fear as if to emphasize her point.

“Captain, my ass!”

You attempted to stifle your giggling, yet your mood significantly dropped upon remembering Levi’s treatment towards you this past month. You tried to conceal your obviously bothered expression, but you felt a hand softly ruffle your hair. You looked up and smiled at Reiner.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, I’m sure he’ll tone down the punishments after this,” he reassured, obviously mistaking your dejection over your unreciprocated feelings for Levi for something else.

Appreciating the gesture, you continued to smile up at him while nodding softly. Reiner had a comforting presence, and you felt your mood brighten slightly.

“Fingers crossed,” you deadpanned, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt, who had taken a seat at the foot of your bed.

Jean’s relentless bashing of the Captain continued, as Sasha, Connie, and Armin attempted to calm him down, warning him about the consequences they’d all have to face if word got back to Levi. Eren gritted his teeth in irritation, as he glared up at Jean, threatening to “knock him out if he didn’t shut up,” while Mikasa had silently moved around the chaos to rest her calloused hand on your own, silently squeezing as a gesture of comfort. You squeezed back.

“Look, all I’m saying is he obviously has it out for her. She’s a better soldier than all of us– even you, titan boy— and it’s still not good enough? I call bullshit!”

“I think he’s just trying to be a good teacher, I’m sure there’s a lot I can still improve on,” you justified, and all eyes turned to you.

“There’s not,” Mikasa bluntly stated, leaving no room for argument.

Your friends all agreed, and you scrunched your nose playfully to conceal the warmth that had spread throughout your body at their praise. You worked hard to get where you were– there was a satisfaction in knowing that all of your effort wasn’t going unacknowledged.

“Jean-boy’s right—”

“Bastard!”

“—Captain Levi has been unnecessarily cruel to her, and we’ve all noticed it!” Eren’s fists clenched in anger as he ignored Jean’s yelling.

“But the Captain isn’t the type to hold grudges or act impulsively, so I think there’s something deeper to it,” Armin reasoned, apologetically glancing at you in case his words offended you.

You nodded softly, not wanting to worsen your headache; however, it didn’t really matter when Jean’s painfully loud voice retaliated almost immediately.

“He overworked her to the point of her passing out from exhaustion and severe dehydration!” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his sandy brown hair bounced with his every move.

You winced from the pain in your head, and the movement didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner, who glanced at you from where he stood.

“Jean— inside voice, yeah?” Reiner softly spoke, subtly tilting his head down towards you. Jean’s gaze softened and concern replaced the anger on his contorted features, as he apologized to you.

“Yeah, seriously, what are you getting so worked up for?” Connie innocently asked, before a knowing look crossed his features. He turned to his partner-in-crime, and the two donned shit-eating grins as they turned back to Jean.

“Right, that’s why.”

Bertholdt, whose lanky body had been horizontally lying across the bed comfortably, sat up onto his elbows and cluelessly asked, “What’s why?”

Sasha’s smile widened, and she crossed her arms, mimicking Connie’s knowing smirk. “It’s because Jean-boy, here, is sweet on our dear little—”

“Would you shut up!” Jean yelled louder than before, fists shaking in anger. His face was flushed an impossible shade of red, and you would’ve joined in on the laughter, had your head not exploded from the pain.

You were fully aware of the incessant teasing Jean received regarding his relationship with you, and you would honestly be lying if you said you didn’t get a kick out of it as well. Deciding to spare your friend today, you sent a good-natured smile to him, hoping that would be enough to quell his frustration.

Had you not turned to converse with Eren, you wouldn’t have missed Jean’s dazed smile.

While talking to Eren, your mind briefly drifted to Levi and the situation that was weighing heavily on you. You didn’t want to believe that the Captain hated you– you desperately grasped onto your excuse that he was simply a harsh teacher. And yet, you knew there was something more to it.

In a panic-driven moment, you momentarily wondered if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him. You remembered him telling you about his upbringing— you knew better than most that Levi and confessions of love did not go together... at all. Before you could further dig yourself deeper into the pitiful hole you had been in the past month, a painfully familiar voice broke through your intrusive thoughts.

“You know how loud you are? This isn’t a damn daycare.”

“Sir!”

All conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt. You couldn’t help but grow amused at the sight of Eren and Bertholdt scrambling off your bed to stand and salute their superior. Your small smile was wiped off your face when your eyes met stormy grey ones. You quickly looked down, before inhaling quickly and swiftly pulling your bedsheets back. You attempted to muster as much strength as you could, ignoring the multiple eyes on you. You gracefully stood up from the bed, and turned to Levi, managing the salute as well. You slowly looked up at him.

“Sir,” you shakily mumbled, internally cringing once again at the uncharacteristic rasp to your voice.

You received proud looks of admiration from your friends, though Jean’s remained more concerned than proud. Idiot! he thought to himself. We know you’re strong, now’s not the time to prove it!

Levi, meanwhile, had tried his very best to suppress the guilt that had been eating away at him for the past day; however, it had only worsened when he saw you and heard your weak voice. Upon making eye contact with you, he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely for everything he had put you through, audience be damned. 

Levi had spent the better half of the day pacing around your room in the infirmary wing of the Scout Regiment’s base, lost deeply in his thoughts, as his concern for you weighed heavily in his heart. After a few more hours of pacing, he had finally come to the conclusion that he was an idiot (a grade A, unique brand of idiot all in a league of his very own), and that he was in love with you.

Where the first realization annoyed him to high heaven, the second one brought him a sense of peace that was only heightened every time he had looked at your unconscious form.

Levi, uncomfortable with the amount of self-actualizing he had done that day, had left the room after softly caressing your cheek, hoping to convey all of his guilt and apologies and love into the simple gesture. Once he was away from the infirmary wing of the base, he inhaled deeply, itching for the comfort of a cup of warm tea. On his way to the mess hall, he had passed by your friends from the 104th, all undoubtedly on their way to see you. Levi’s eyebrow had slightly risen upon noticing the varying looks of defiance and anger on each of their faces. He had remained unfazed, his half-lidded eyes looking away, as if he hadn’t even seen them at all.

Somehow, it was harder to face them now with you standing amongst them. 

His face retained its usual impassive and bored expression, yet it momentarily faltered when he noticed you slightly stumble from where you were standing next to the hospital bed. Levi’s heartbeat quickened, and he made a subtle move to rush over to you to catch you for the second time that day, but Jean was quicker. The taller man had been keeping a watchful eye on you, and had quickly dropped his salute to stand behind you and steady your slightly uncoordinated form. You comfortably relaxed backwards into his arms as you sent a grateful smile up at him, and he softly smiled back in response, leading you back to the bed.

Levi was both relieved and a little fucking pissed off.

“Visiting hours are over— I need to talk to the brat,” he lazily said, authority ringing loudly and clearly in his command.

For the first time in all his years of captaining the scouts, there was a quick hesitation after his command.

Levi raised an unamused eyebrow at each of the cadets, silently challenging them to disobey him. Despite his threatening aura, he wouldn’t blame any of your friends if they were to defy Levi. The Captain deserved it for his treatment of you— he’d take it like a man.

Your eyes widened in surprise when your friends subtly glanced at you, silently asking if it was okay to leave you alone with him. Upon hearing Levi’s request to talk to you, your heart had begun to uncontrollably race and you swore you could feel it in your throat. You were disappointed in yourself for growing excited at finally being able to talk to him. 

Blinking quickly, your cheeks grew hot under everyone’s gazes, so you reassuringly smiled at your eight friends, and you once again felt the genuine love you had for them erupt within your heart. 

Ever the peacemaker of the group, Armin signaled for the rest to follow him out of the room, and they each uncertainly walked behind him. Mikasa squeezed your hand once more before following closely behind Eren, who sent you an encouraging smile. Bertholdt subtly sent a thumbs up to you, while Reiner winked at you as he looked over his broad shoulder. Your smile widened; however, it faltered when your eyes met Jean’s. His irritated expression worried you, yet before you could respond, he turned away and walked past Levi.

Levi had to give it to Jean— not many people had the balls to openly glare at the Captain.

Once everyone was gone, the tension within the room increased tenfold. You looked at Levi, and you bit your lip in contemplation, anticipating what he would say. Many thoughts rang through your head.

Was it another punishment? Was he going to yell at me? Did he find out about my fee–

“How do you feel?”

You almost had to pinch yourself. After one month of barely any interactions with your friend— if you were still even allowed to call him that— you realized how starved you were for pleasant conversation with Levi.

“I’ve been better,” you breathed out, still cautious. “How… how do you feel?”

Even after such an unpleasant experience, your unwavering kindness shone just as brightly. Levi’s heart ached so sweetly, and he internally groaned upon realizing how fucking whipped he was.

He silently stepped forward, pulling a seat to the side of your bed. Once he was seated, Levi looked into your eyes, and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of the swirl of emotions dancing within his normally cold eyes. He exhaled softly.

You noticed how tired he looked.

“Just peachy.”

There was a pregnant pause, and you came to realize that there was just too much you wanted to say to him, and you didn’t know where to start. Your soft eyes held his sharp gaze.

“You scared the shit out of me, brat.”

Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, and your eyes widened in response.

“I did?” you internally slapped yourself at your stupid response.

“Yeah. You did.”

“Sorry, sir,” you softly mumbled.

“Levi… just Levi.”

The Levi in front of you was a completely different man from the one who you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with over the past month. You thought back to your friends and their anger at your mistreatment, and you thought of the many unfair punishments, cold shoulder treatments, and overworking during training (despite you being second only to Humanity’s Strongest, himself). Slowly, your incredulity at being treated like a lapdog began to dim and was replaced by your growing indignation. Though you were no stranger to standing up for yourself, you still felt your anxiety skyrocket as you looked back up at your superior.

“Do you hate me, Captain? Did I… did I do something?”

And there it was.

Levi knew the question would come up at some point, and yet he still felt ill-prepared in his response. He knew this was a big step for you— in the whole year that he’s gotten to know you, he learned how much you hated confrontation. You blatantly ignoring his request and choosing to address him by his title caught his attention, and he frowned. When he looked into your slightly watery eyes, a warmth spread throughout his chest, and he had to clear his throat.

“Don’t say shit like that, you haven’t done anything.”

Levi wanted to punch himself— he was never good with words.

You, however, weren’t fazed by the manner in which he spoke. You had fallen for the man, harsh words and all.

“Then why have you—” you paused as you momentarily lost your voice.

Levi thought it was cute (to be fair, he found everything about you endearing), yet he knew it would be inappropriate to openly admire you when you were so clearly upset with him.

“Sorry,” you grew embarrassed and licked your lips, “It’s just… well, why have you been ignoring me? And— and yelling at me? We stopped drinking tea together, and practicing in the forests. You don’t even acknowledge me when I talk to you! I’m sure you have a really good reason, sir, but I just—”

Levi detested the sick feeling of guilt that churned within his heart. In hindsight, he really should’ve thought it through before he began his little plan of distancing himself from you. How else was he supposed to tell you oh, everyone in the fucking Scout Regiment wants you, and so do I, but I haven’t done anything about it because I’m a pussy, so I just decided to take it out on you and wallow in my own self-pity like the sad little man I am, without sounding like he was deranged.

“—I just miss you.”

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and his breath hitched. This time it was the sincerity in your eyes that made him look away quickly.

“I…”

I’ve missed you too, dammit.

At his lack of a response, your eyebrows furrowed, and your irritation grew. Your small hands balled the soft bedsheet, and you swallowed to soften the burn in your throat before speaking.

“Why did you even come here?” you scoffed indignantly, attempting to mask your hurt, “Was it to just to yell at me some more? Oh, I know! Maybe I need to run through training ten more times again, right?”

The guilt churned even more in his chest, and Levi seriously wanted to punch himself. He willed himself to say something— anything— but he felt speechless in front of you.

“Levi,” you hoarsely spoke with desperation, and he looked into your watery eyes. “Say something, please.”

It was as if you had read his mind, and a slight feeling of reassurance quelled the storm in his heart; you really were the only one for him. As he met your eyes— your beautiful, enchanting eyes— he felt his self-hatred skyrocket at the amount of hurt in them. He had grown used to seeing them filled with humor, kindness, and a soft edge that was rare to find nowadays. Yet seeing them filled with such pain and hurt was unsettling, and Levi went mute for the fifth time that day.

You nodded in understanding when he failed to say anything, and your heart clenched. Jean had been right— you were nothing more than a lovesick puppy. You blinked quickly as a poor attempt to conceal your tears, yet nothing ever escaped the Captain’s attention.

His gaze softened, and Levi found out something else about himself— he really didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Shit, please don’t cry,” he tenderly mumbled, as he leaned closer to you and gently cupped your face to wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumb. 

Your breath hitched and your full lips involuntarily parted. You relished in the warmth of his touch, and you wanted nothing more than to lean into his comforting hand. Your name fell from his lips, and you felt yourself come back to reality. Remembering just how you had gotten into this situation, you decided to stand your ground. Despite everything in your body begging to give in and accept this moment with the Captain, you stood unwavering in your decision.

You gently grabbed his large hand with both your hands, and moved it away from your face and into your lap. You held it there loosely and delicately rubbed your fingers over his hand soothingly before eventually stopping, and looking back up at him.

His usual bored expression was long gone, and in its place was a very tender and vulnerable expression. A storm was brewing in his grey eyes, and you distantly remembered stargazing once with him. You had desperately wished you could read his thoughts— somehow, you had found his daunting eyes more fascinating than the starry sky. You felt an ache in your heart at the intimate memories, and you really really wished Levi loved you the way you love him.

“You know what, Levi? It doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because—” you inhaled sharply. 

This has to be done, you reassured yourself, or else you’d be subjecting yourself to an onslaught of hurt and heartbreak. 

“—Because I hate you.”

Your lip quivered and your broken voice faltered. And of course, Levi noticed.

His eyes darted down to your lips at the slight movement. His hands had stilled, and he decided that getting eaten by a damn titan would be much less painful than this.

And then he’s looking at you. You looked back at him, yet he’s looking at you— through you— in that way that makes you want to hide and hold your ground at the same time.

“Right,” Levi drawled, and you knew he didn’t believe you (hell, you were unconvinced yourself). His eyes reverted back to their cold nature, and he ran a hand through his hair, allowing the silky strands to softly land against his forehead.

He stood up, and wordlessly gave you a onceover. Under his scrutiny, you felt yourself grow insecure, but deep down you desperately hoped he’d stay. You bit your bottom lip in apprehension, and Levi’s eyes softened at the sight of your nervous habit.

How is it that he could kill titans all the livelong day yet when it came to this sweet girl, so small and disarming, he couldn’t even utter a single word?

Levi had never felt more pathetic. He peered down at you, momentarily debating whether it would be right for him to attempt one last thing before finally deciding fuck it, and gently cupping your cheek for the third time that day, bending down, and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. He gingerly inhaled your enticing scent, appreciating how even after the hell he had put you through, you still smelled so alluring.

You were positive that Levi could hear your heartbeat. You blinked many times in disbelief, as he pulled away and sent one last lingering gaze down at you. 

Levi slightly smirked at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks, his half-lidded eyes drinking in the mesmerizing sight of you sitting up in your bed and gaping up at him, your cheeks flushed and wet with the remnants of your tears. He turned around and silently left the room. 

He had ignored every part of his body that begged him to stay.

▲▼▲

“Shut up, I can barely hear them!”

“Ow— Bertholdt, you’re stepping on my foot!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Watch it, horse face!”

“Eren.”

“You piece of shit, I’m—”

The piece of bread that had been tightly held in Sasha’s grip suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone went silent.

“Holy shit, I think… I think he just kissed her.”

Jean really hoped Sasha was wrong. 

He decided to ignore the fact that her freakishly good hearing bordered on supernatural, so there was really no way she could’ve been wrong with a mere wooden door standing between her and the conversation.

“I knew there was something going on between them! Reiner— pay up.”

Reiner muttered several curses under his breath as he pulled out a hefty stack of cash from his pocket. Connie’s grin widened.

Armin had glanced up at Jean, slightly alarmed at the dark expression on his face. Before he could comfort his friend, the door suddenly opened. Everyone scrambled to straighten themselves up, attempting to act like they hadn’t been just eavesdropping on the entire conversation between you and the Captain.

A chorus of sir’s rang throughout the large hallway, and Levi grew amused at the sight before him. His lips twitched upwards, and the cadets had to almost physically stop their mouths from dropping open at the sight. Levi’s ghost of a smile disappeared when his eyes met Jean’s seething ones.

The two held each other’s gazes, Levi’s expression being cool, while Jean’s had been irritated. Levi was not a fucking idiot; he knew the kid was in love with you.

Join the fucking club.

Levi, realizing that this was the exact reason he had gotten himself into that mess with you and not really wanting to sour his somewhat good mood, looked away from Jean to nod at the group of your friends.

“As you were.”

He brushed past Jean, his gaze as intimidating as ever, as he silently walked down the hallway. Jean’s fists clenched tightly. Once Levi had turned the corner, the group exploded into chatter, their reactions varying from stunned to adoring.

Jean really really fucking hoped Sasha was wrong.

▲▼▲

Your horse trotted proudly through the vast landscape, the wind blew through your open hair, your friends teased each other amicably, and your excitement grew at finally being cleared to join the scouts on their next expedition. Though you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and you’ve been a little too preoccupied to eat much, nothing could bring your mood down at this moment.

You were alongside your friends as you all followed the section commanders as their horses galloped into the edge of the forest. The mission for today was to exterminate any titans who had wandered too close to the walls. A simple mission, and you were more than capable.

You had been in a great mood.

Until your eyes landed on Levi.

He had been further up, leading his own squad. He had turned around to respond to Gunther, and that’s when his eyes had met yours. Your internal conflict grew, and you ultimately ended up averting your eyes and ignoring him, deciding to maintain your cold treatment towards him. 

Him kissing your head had only further confused you, despite the sweet butterflies you felt every time you thought back to it. Levi’s treatment towards you had unexpectedly changed since that day in the infirmary, and it had reverted to the way it was before his sudden aversion to you, though there was something much sweeter in his actions. You swore you were getting whiplash.

Though he had been significantly kinder to you, you had held your ground, unrelenting in your declaration. Part of you was terrified that if you gave in and became comfortable, he’d suddenly return back to the yelling, the punishments, and the overworking. Part of you also didn’t want to face reality— your feelings were unreciprocated, and they would only serve to bring you a world of heartache and sadness.

Your cold shoulder towards him was nothing compared to the way he had treated you. Yours mainly consisted of avoiding him, and when that wasn’t an option and you had to interact with him, you kept it civil and short. Your heart would ache, but you knew it was for the best. It helped that Jean would offer approving smiles and words of encouragement, even going as far as to smirk when you had ignored the Captain.

Levi, meanwhile, had frowned when he noticed that you ignored him. Again.

In all honesty, he did deserve it, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt like a bitch. He grew irked at your display. Levi hoped you would understand that him kissing your head and showing affection towards you was his grand confession of love. You knew he was shit with words, and he hoped that that would be enough.

He was sadly fucking mistaken.

His attention had been on you the whole mission. Even when the scouts had to dismount from the horses to use the ODM gear through the trees, he had somehow managed to keep a watchful eye on you. You were graceful as ever as you flew through the trees, though his observing gaze noticed that your reaction time was noticeably slower than normal. He had also noticed the dark circles under your usually bright eyes, and he grew worried upon noticing your overall state.

Levi, himself, wasn’t faring much better. He was getting virtually no sleep, running completely on caffeine, adrenaline, and pure will, yet he still made sure he was in excellent shape when it came to these missions— humanity was resting on his shoulders, after all.

The firing of a flare gun in the distance indicated that the group would be encountering titans— a lot of titans— from the left. The soldiers prepared, all eyes focused on the left. You had conveniently taken up the right-most end of the formation, and your attention had also been on the left, your blades held tightly in your hands.

It was only by chance that Levi decided to glance down at you as he soared above you in the middle of the formation. Your eyes met once again, and Levi’s heart lurched at the beautiful sight, when movement behind you immediately caught his attention. A large abnormal with the ability to jump from tree to tree had suddenly appeared and made an attempt to grab you. Your attention had been solely on Levi, so you hadn’t noticed, especially over the roar of the wind in your ears.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he yelled out your name. The rich baritone of his deep voice reached your ears, and you turned slightly behind you, yet you reacted too slowly. Your body jerked backwards, flying so far from the group. You flew through the air at such a great speed that it took you by surprise when you slammed against a tree as the wires of your ODM gear grew tangled. The abnormal had missed you— barely. Your head slammed against the tree and you felt the wind knocked out of your body at the impact.

You whimpered at the hell of a hospital stay you’d have to face after this.

The abnormal almost seemed to be grinning wider upon realizing that it had successfully subdued you. You attempted to quickly stand up, though your body yelled in agony at the movement. Willing yourself to fight back, you shakily stood up, tightly gripping your blades that had miraculously not fallen to the ground throughout the struggle. You winced at the searing pain that shot through your head, yet you clenched your teeth in determination. Realizing that your gear was broken and therefore useless, you quickly discarded yourself of it, and felt some of the tension in your body alleviate now that you were significantly lighter.

“The hell is she doing?” Jean yelled incredulously from his spot next to Levi, and the other members of the group looked on in shock as they all attempted to make it to you in time.

“She’s fighting back,” Levi spoke through gritted teeth, his worry for you eating him alive. His eyebrows were furrowed in stress and anxiety, and he was now soaring impossibly fast through the trees in order to reach you.

Stupid brat. Stupid, resilient, little brat.

“Attagirl!” Oluo and Eld cheered, and Petra shoved them, warning them to stop their blatant ogling in the middle of a dangerous mission. They skillfully dodged her attack, grinning at their adept use of the ODM gear.

A noise towards the side caught their attention, and the group realized the titans they had been anticipating were now in sight. Levi coolly assessed the shitty situation, before commanding that most of the soldiers take care of the titans, while Levi, his squad, and some of the 104th’s cadets would assist you. The group split up, and Levi turned his attention back to you, his heart thumping against his chest.

As the titan made a move to grab you, you exhaled quickly to focus before skillfully jumping onto its elongated arm and running quickly towards its nape. You were defying gravity as you gained speed the higher you went. The titan wasn’t stupid, and it began to grab you with its other arm, yet you anticipated its move. You lithely dodged it, executing a quick front flip as you narrowly escaped its grasp once again.

This was it!

You saw your opening. You leaped forward and pushed your feet against its shoulder as hard as you could, soaring high up in the air above the titan. Muscle memory served you well, and you thought back to the training circuit that had mimicked a situation almost exactly like this one. You gracefully began to spin yourself faster and faster, your cape billowing behind you as you finally readied your blades for the final blow. You yelled out, as your head pain worsened. As a result, your maneuver faltered slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye. The titan noticed.

It lashed a large hand out again, attempting to grab you, but it accidentally slapped your body away. You cried out in pain, and you flew in the direction of your friends, hurtling towards the ground. You were falling so fast, and you felt yourself grow dizzy from being chucked around so much in the last five minutes.

Eren yelled out your name, a whimper stuck in his throat at the sight of your almost lifeless body spiraling downwards. Jean’s eyes widened, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

Levi’s heart stopped upon witnessing the titan slap your body with so much force. You were plummeting towards the ground at an impossible speed, and he didn’t even think twice before withdrawing his ODM gear’s hooks and diving towards you within the blink of an eye. His cape flew behind him, and a determined glint had overtaken his angry features. 

You had been bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, yet the sight above you had been so clear that it almost felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. Your long hair flew around you, creating a curtain around your face, as you looked up at Levi. He had dived towards you, his jaw so tightly clenched. His muscular long arm began reaching out to you. The ground was quickly approaching, and you felt a sense of serenity at the sight of your Captain, despite your confusion and the severity of this situation.

“Levi,” you mumbled, smiling softly.

His face dropped upon seeing the calm expression on your face, and he willed himself to go faster, a number of expletive curses ringing through his head. 

That damn titan. Did it know how small you were? How precious you were?

He spun himself slightly to gain momentum, and he saw you were just within reach. Levi confidently stretched his strong arm out even more, managing to wrap his hand around your arm. He swiftly pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist, while the other hand cradled your head protectively against his broad chest. He swiftly flipped himself around to face his body upwards, further ensuring he’d take the majority of the blow in case you two ended up hitting the ground, and shot both of his ODM gear’s hooks into a nearby tree, propelling both of you away from the ground and towards the high branch. You fleetingly realized how familiar this position felt.

Once Levi safely landed, he kneeled, and supported your body against his thigh as he continued to hold you in his arms. He quickly looked over his shoulder, and could make out the sight of the titan falling to the ground. All the members of his squad seemed alive and well, so he turned his attention back to you. His eyes quickly darted over your face, desperately searching for any obvious injuries.

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Levi running his hands through your hair and over your cheeks. The Levi in front of you was leagues different from the cool and composed one you had come to know. He had a frantic look in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly, as he desperately peered down at you. 

“Le… Levi?” You mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse from your recent infirmary stay.

“You are so precious to me, you hear me?” He lowly spoke, panic and anger and a whole plethora of emotions coloring his normally deadpan voice.  

Your jaw fell open and you were almost positive you were suffering from a mean concussion, and this was a hallucination. “Wha—”

“You’re a fucking brat— an incredibly frustrating, resilient little brat— but you’re mine.”

You dazedly looked up at him, and you realized how close his face was to yours. His muscular chest was heaving up and down, and a small droplet of sweat dripped down from his hairline. Levi’s handsome features held nothing but adoration for you, and in that moment nothing could bring you down from the high you were experiencing. You felt his warm hands cup your cheek once more, a habit he seemed to be fond of.

“You want a fucking declaration of love? Here it is— if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll kill every titan on this piece of shit planet,” he spoke, surprisingly unbothered with how vulnerable he was being with you. He moved closer to you, his forehead nearly resting on your own. “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me or not. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it.”

Your hand creeped up to grasp the wrist of the hand that had been caressing your face, and you tightened your fingers around it. He froze, momentarily wondering if you were rejecting his confession, and he internally groaned at the thought. 

There’d be no coming back from this one.

“You’re mine?” You shakily asked, a gloriously beautiful smile slowly gracing your features.

“That’s what I said,” he mumbled, attempting to conceal how lovestruck he felt at your smile.

“After… after we get home and I get some medical attention, you’re going to have to kiss me, alright? I’m—”

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your own. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you relished in the soft feeling of his lips molding against yours. You felt an indescribable warmth erupt in your chest, and you whimpered against Levi’s lips. His kiss was soft and warm, a huge contrast to the Levi from this past month. He pulled away just as quickly as he had bent down.

“One for the road,” he simply explained, glancing down at you. He internally smirked at the pretty blush coloring your cheeks— he was always fond of the sight.

▲▼▲

“You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

You stifled your giggles at Levi’s straight face. Your expression still showed your disbelief at what he had just told you.

“I’m not an idiot, Levi, I know how some people look at me,” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Even the Commander?”

“Oh, I’m working my way up through the ranks right now, can’t you tell?” You teased, gesturing down to your intertwined bodies, as you both faced each other in his warm bed.

“You’re funny, brat,” he deadpanned, no heat and all fondness as he affectionately pinched your cheeks.

You snuggled deeper into his chest, savoring the warmth that you were enveloped in. You were wearing his shirt— still warm and smelling strongly of him— and you inhaled softly as your face pressed deeper into his chest. Somehow, the slight aftermath of your headache from the recent expedition began to dull slightly.

“I’m sorry again,” Levi murmured, softly cradling your head against his chest.

“Really? I couldn’t tell the first five hundred times you said so,” you teased, looking up at him. Your breath hitched at the sight of his face angled down towards you, dark wisps of hair falling over his eyes and structured face. Levi was so painfully handsome, you could feel your heart flutter.

His eyes were intense, and his guilt continued to stir within his stomach. Seemingly able to read his mind, you pressed a chaste kiss to his warm chest.

“Idiot,” you mumbled, “I really wouldn’t care if the King himself came up to me and proposed, and you know exactly why.” 

“Humor me.”

“Terrifying guy, goes by the name of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?”

He chuckled lowly, the deepness of his voice vibrating through his chest, and your insides turned to mush. Feeling relieved at successfully pulling Levi out of his little hole of guilt, you yawned softly. Your bruised ribs still ached at times, yet you ignored it this time to cuddle deeper into Levi, who was also on the verge of sleep.

He was sleepily looking down at you, observing your attempts to get comfortable in his embrace, and he softly smiled to himself. His muscular arms tightened around you, one of his hands coming to rest on the soft curve of your hip. He relished in the fact that sleep would be coming easily to him with you here. Levi had surprised himself with how easily he was able to show his affections toward you, and he chalked it up to that being further proof that you really were the only one for him.

He felt a warmth come from the sweet pang in his chest, and it spread throughout his entire body. Levi had learned to associate that feeling with you.

His eyes closed silently, and you pressed one last kiss to his chest.

“Precious,” he mumbled, “Precious little brat.”

▲▼▲

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[tyonfs]

cat & mouse (preview)

❝ rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off limits, and, y/n, we just pushed that limit. ❞

PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, crack, fluff, college au

WARNINGS ▸ more to be added as i keep writing but !! lots of !! sexual tension !! and jaemin acting like a dick, overprotective big brother!jaehyun, lots of sneaking around, teasing, fingering, a lot of smut, jealous!jaemin, hooking up, alcohol consumption

SUMMARY ▸ tired of meaningless hookups and dull parties, jaemin had always been hesitant to indulge himself. that is, of course, until he met you. however, upon realizing you’re none other than jeong jaehyun’s little sister, jaemin has to keep his relationship with you under wraps to make sure his team captain doesn’t find out. 

PLAYLIST ▸ move! by niki • playinwitme (feat. kehlani) by kyle

RELEASE DATE ▸ out now! read here

WORD COUNT ▸ it’s at around 10k rn so there’s a chance it could get to 20k

TAG LIST ▸ @chubsluda​ @celestialchans​ @treasurestay​ @luvlyjaemin​ @lanadreamie​ @kylomeyon​ @taehinsano​ @jenotation​ @ovelha-colorida-v​ @hrjflrt​ @to-blessed-2-be-stressed​ @honeyju​ @chanluster​ @sweetjaemss​ @najaemsenthusiastttt​ @neovrse​ @jjikyuu​ @treasurestay​ @ahgastayzen​ @wcnderlandss​ @jaehy9ngs​ @jaemxins​ @syhznanny​ @lilminyoongles​ @bbnana​ @ncttboo​ @aurorarealm​

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ send me an ask or dm if you wanna be added to the tag list !! i hope ya’ll stick around for this! ♡ this is a side story to i like me better (when i’m with you), but can be read separately! this is probably one of my favs?? literally considering making a series

JAEMIN RAN A HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR, BATTLING FRUSTRATION AND SHAME.

“Look,” he started, “the reason I pushed you away was because you didn’t tell me your brother is Jeong Jaehyun!”

“Oh.” You blinked at him. “Yeah, he’s my brother. Is that a problem?” Jaemin let out a heavy sigh and you raised a brow at him. “You got a crush on him or something?”

Jaemin’s expression soured. “No! He’s my friend and teammate, Y/N. There’s an unspoken bro code between us men.”

You rolled your eyes. “Here we go.”

“Rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off limits,” Jaemin said. “And, Y/N, we just pushed that limit.”

“You know, in girl code, we ask the friend for permission,” you offered.

“Jaehyun rounded us up at practice and told us that if anyone lays a hand on his little sister, he’s going to kill them,” Jaemin said. “I’m too young to die.”

You stood up to push Jaemin down by his shoulders, sitting him on the edge of the bed. Jaemin’s breath got caught in his throat when you sat on his lap, right where his bulge was painfully tented beneath his sweatpants. You traced his v-cut abs, making Jaemin shiver in response. He held your hips and swallowed thickly. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going. If you were about to ride him, he was sure he could die a happy man.

“Jaemin, my brother doesn’t control my life, so he’s not killing you over anything, okay?” you reassured him, then leaned in closer, nibbling on his earlobe. Jaemin shivered at the contact, tightening his grip on you. “But, if you’re so worried about it, then we could sneak around.”

A guttural groan escaped Jaemin when you rolled your hips against his. Were you teasing him? Because it was hard for him to think and this distraction wasn’t helping. Either way, all he could think about was making you cum again and seeing that delicate look on your face as you crumbled in front of him.

“Sneak—sneak around?” Jaemin stammered, mouth going dry when you started taking off your shirt, and fuck, you weren’t wearing a bra. “Huh?”

“Jaemin,” you said slowly, smirking as you traced a finger along his jawline. “If you don’t want Jaehyun to catch us, should we meet in secret?”

If this was a game of cat and mouse, there was a clear power difference right now; Jaemin felt more like the mouse while you were the cat.

[markandlexies]

The One With Will and JJ’s Wedding - Part 2

Summary: Based off of 7.24 and 8.01 of Friends! During Will and JJ’s wedding, the group finds out who is actually pregnant and try to figure out who the father is, a mysterious red sweater being their only clue.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (eventually lol)

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Hey! Thanks for the love on the last chapter! I apologize that there is barely any Spence and Reader rn but it’ll def pick up in the next chapter! Keep sending responses and requests! I love to hear from you guys! And yes, I picked this gif on purpose. Enjoy! 

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

While the guests of the evening went on to party and get plastered, you, Spencer, Emily, Hotch, Penelope, Derek and Rossi had stayed to take pictures with the newly weds.

You, Emily and Penelope sat and watched while JJ and Will took photos with the men. 

While the cameraman changed film, Morgan leaned over to JJ and whispered, “Okay, I-I know, I’m not supposed to know but I do and I am so excited for you!”

Clearly not being as low as he thought he was being, Spencer’s head perked up, “Wait, what’s going on?”

Before JJ could even respond, Morgan cheered, “JJ’s pregnant!”

Hotch and Rossi’s heads immediately turned at the news and they broke out in huge smiles. 

“Oh my God, JJ!” Spencer smiled, pulling her into a hug.

Will just laughed to himself as Rossi followed with two kisses to the cheek and Hotch gasped with a, “This is great news!”

“Thank you guys, but I’m not pregnant!”

“Oh, slow swimmers?” Rossi asked Will who gave him a bewildered look. 

“W-what?! What do you mean, you’re not pregnant?” Morgan clearly confused. 

JJ pinched the bridge of her nose, “Derek, you didn’t tell anyone I was, did you?”

“No…” he paused. “I’ll be right back.”

While Derek scurried away to go correct the mess he had made, JJ turned to Spencer, ushering him to go after the man and make sure he didn’t make the situation any worse. As he left, the cameraman told Rossi and Hotch they were free to leave and it was now turn for the pictures with the bridesmaids. 

Waltzing up to the pair, Penelope asked, “JJ, why’d you tell the guys you weren’t pregnant?”

“Because I’m not!” She replied, clearly fed up with having to go through this so many times.

Emily rolled her eyes, “We found your test in the garbage, I mean, if you’re not pregnant than-“

You looked up and stared at Emily with desperate eyes, hoping she would understand what you were trying to tell her. Her mouth flew open for only a split second as she caught on, “It’s because I am.”

JJ and Will looked at each other in shock as the cameraman continued to snap pictures of the conversation beforehand. You wanted to tell him to stop and that this was something you never wanted to remember.

Before the two could even get a word out, Penelope shrieked, “What are you talking about?!”

“I-It’s true. Um, I am with child. I just didn’t want to say anything because it’s your day!” Emily explained and you prayed they were buying it. “I didn’t wanna steal your thunder!”

JJ’s hand flew to her forehead as she tried to comprehend this. “Wait a minute, so you thought telling people I was pregnant was a better idea?” 

“Emily, who’s the father?” Will asked.

“I-I can’t say.”

-

While JJ and Will were having their first dance, Emily found it as the perfect opportunity to interrogate you.

“Y/N, what the hell!?” she scream whispered, taking the seat next to yours.

“Thank you for doing that, Em. I just can’t deal with the stress right now of telling everyone,” you sighed, grabbing her hand and giving her a soft smile.

Emily’s harsh expression fell and she squeezed your hand back. “God, Y/N/N, why didn’t you just tell me? You didn’t have to pretend JJ was the pregnant one!”

“I mean technically you said she was, I just didn’t disagree with you!”

“Sneaky!” she gasped. 

“Listen, I wanna talk about it… but I’m just not ready yet,” you sighed, hoping she would understand.

“Yeah, yeah! Of course…”

There was a pause. 

“Are you ready to talk about it now?”

“Em, no.”

She nodded and there was another pause.

“Now?”

“No!”

“Okay, fine! We’ll talk about something else!” she said defensively throwing her hands in the air. You nodded, silently thanking her for her long awaited cooperation.

“So, who’s the father?”

You rolled your eyes, flicking her in the head which earned you an ‘Ow!’.

“Look, I haven’t told him yet so until I do, I don’t think I should tell anybody else,” you whispered.

“No, yeah. That’s fair, I understand… Is it Hotch?” 

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head as you scolded her, “Emily, no!”

“Fine, I’ll stop!” She apologized. “It’s Reid, isn’t it?”

You groaned, putting your face in your hands.

She gasped before whispering, “Oh God, don’t tell me it’s Derek’s!”

She continued to guess as you ignored her and drowned her out, your eyes focusing on him just across the room. He was laughing at something Rossi had said and you couldn’t help the guilt you felt flooding through your chest, knowing you were holding in information that would soon flip his entire world upside down.

The guests broke out into cheers and applause as JJ and Will concluded they’re dance, sharing a kiss before they parted. You kicked Emily in the shin as you noticed JJ walking towards your table, begging her to stop listening off names of men that could possibly be your baby daddy.

“Hello, my beautiful best friends and bridesmaids!” She gushed hugging you both from the back. 

You smiled back up at her as she took a seat next to you and noticed Derek and Garcia making their way to your table next.

Grinning, Derek held out his hand to Emily and said, “Come on, Prentiss, I know you’re dying to move that thing out on the dance floor!”

She laughed grabbing his hand and letting him lead her to the crowd of dancing friends and family while Penelope took her seat.

“She better be having all the fun she can right now, pretty soon she’s gonna be all miserable and in pain with a baby inside of her, making life hell.” Penelope laughed, watching her two best friends make a fool of themselves dancing provocatively.

You nervously laughed, breaking off a piece of bread from the bowl infront of you.

JJ shook her head, “I can’t believe it, you guys! I mean, how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?”

You snapped your head up at the bride, “Hey, you know, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear what they’re supposed to wear and one of those little guys just gets through!” 

JJ met your eyes and furrowed her brows at your defensive tone. Before she could respond, Garcia asked, “How?”

“Ugh, I don’t know! Maybe they have tools!” You sighed, defeated.

“Listen, I talked to her, and she said she’s having this baby. She said she’s gonna raise it all on her own…” JJ shrugged, smoothing down her dress. 

“Well… maybe that’s really brave of her…” you started to say, a wave of nausea hitting you for the third time that day.

“I just hope she realizes how hard it’s gonna be. How is she gonna handle this financially? How is she gonna juggle work? I mean, does she realize she’s not gonna have a date again for the next 18 years?” Penelope sighed, putting her chin in her hand, watching her poor knocked up friend on the dance floor.

At Penelope’s words, suddenly tears were threatening to spill and you felt JJ’s eyes on you. You knew it wouldn’t be easy of course, but the girls were making some valid points that had never even crossed your mind. Your thoughts were interrupted by the waiter behind you, “Champagne?”

“Oh yes, please!” Penelope cheered taking two and passing one to you. JJ had taken one and politely thanked the waiter as he left.

You let out a sigh of relief, desperately needing something to take the edge off as you brought the lovely beige liquid up to your lips and took a sip. You had then realized what you were doing and stopped in your tracks, eyes wide. Looking down slowly, you spit the contents back into your glass, hoping the girls didn’t notice.

“Oh, th-that’s actually how the French drink it…” you stammered as you looked up at the girls who’s eyes were about to pop out of their heads.

JJ raised her finger and pointed at you as Penelope draped her hand over her mouth. 

“O-Oh my-“

Before she could get out the words, Emily waltzed back over to the table, “Well I sure hope this baby gets my dancing genes because let me tell you, this ass doesn’t quit!” She took a seat next to Penelope, completely oblivious to what was just realized.

JJ rolled her eyes before saying, “Oh, give it up! Y/N’s really the one who’s pregnant?!”

“What?!” Emily shouted, pretending to be in shock.

She was met with eyes of unamusement. 

“Oh, why bother?” She sighed, giving up the act.

“Y/N/N, how do you feel?” Penelope asked, concern washing over her face.

“I don’t know… I don’t know how I feel. This is all happening so fast and I have to make all these decisions that I don’t want to make!” You whined, bringing the champagne to your lips again, quickly spitting it out as you remembered you were with child. “Oh, someone just take this away from me!”

JJ grabbed it from your hands and set it down as Emily came to a realization, “You know, maybe you’re not even pregnant! Theres false positives all the time!”

Penelope nodded in agreement, “Yeah! Are you sure you peed on the stick right?”

“How many ways are there to do that?”

“Just relax, okay? Don’t freak out until you’re 100% sure.” Penelope said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Yeah… you’re right. I’ll take another one when I get home.”

“What? Come on! You gotta take it now! It could be your wedding present to me!” JJ begged.

You nodded, agreeing that you would do it.

Penelope cheered, “Ooh! Yay, I’ll run out and go get you one!” 

“Wait-“ JJ gasped, stopping Penelope in her tracks. “Who’s the father?!”

Emily rolled her eyes, “Oh, please. I’ve been trying all day. She won’t say.”

 “It’s my wedding! Come on, you gotta tell me! That could be my present!”

“Hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick as your present!”

-

“How much longer?” You asked, pacing the bathroom floor.

“Thirty seconds.” Penelope replied, holding the little stick in her hands.

JJ barged through the door, “Did I miss it?”

Emily shook her head, as she tried to calm you down, rubbing small circles on your back. You were so scared, as if the responsibility of being a mother wasn’t enough, you still had to tell the father too.

JJ walked over to you, grabbing your hands. “Y/N/N, I want you to know that if it’s positive… we’re- we’re gonna-“ She couldn’t even finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to.

“I know…” You smiled, tears threatening to spill. You knew that no matter what the results were, you had your girls.

“It’s time.”

You dropped JJ’s hands and walked over to Garcia, who was handing you the test.

You held it in your hands as Garcia put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I-I can’t look at it. Someone else look at it for me, please?”

Emily nodded understanding your apprehension and took it gently from you, also picking up the little instruction book to decipher what the lines meant. JJ and Garcia both waited in anticipation.

There was a pause.

“It’s negative.”

You turned, meeting her eyes. “What?”

“It’s negative.” She repeated.

“Oh…” You frowned, tears back at the surface. “Would you look at that?” You forced out a laugh. “That is, that’s great. That is really great, great news.” You stammered.

“You know cause the whole… not being ready and the financial aspects.” You continued. “Wow, this is just so the way this is supposed to be.” While your words may have sounded convincing, the look on your face gave it all away. You sighed as JJ walked over to you, “Well then, thats great…” she whispered, trying to read your emotions.

Tears had started to fall and Garcia went and grabbed tissues handing them to you at an alarmingly fast rate. “This is so stupid!” You choked out, dabbing at your eyes. “How could I be upset over something I never had?” As the words left your mouth, JJ wrapped you in a hug, Garcia quick to follow.

As you clung to them, you looked up once more and looked up at Emily who was still standing in the same spot. “God, it’s really negative?” 

“No, it’s positive.” She smiled.

JJ and Penelope turned around and looked at her, their jaws dropped. You let out a gasp, your hand covering your mouth. “What?!”

“I-I lied… It’s positive.”

JJ turned to you in shock, wiping at the tears that had formed around her own eyes.

“Oh my God…” Garcia cried as Emily passed you the test to look for yourself. 

“Now you know how you really feel about it!” Emily smiled.

“Oh, thats a risky little game!” 

JJ’s smile was radiant as she stood beside you to also get a look at the little stick in your hand. “Are you really gonna do this?”

“Yeah…” You muttered, eyes still leaking with tears. “I’m gonna have a baby…”

“I’m gonna have a baby!” You cheered as you were met with three pairs of open arms. You all wept in happiness together before Garcia pulled back and asked, “With who?”

“It’s still not the time!”

-

The wedding had finally ended and the following day, you, Emily and Penelope were all sitting around in JJ and Will’s apartment, like usual.

As the conversation about the previous day had died down, you had decided to finally speak up.

“Guy’s, today I’m gonna tell the father of the baby.”

The girls cheered in excitement, not being able to wait any longer for the big reveal. 

“It is so weird! I mean, you’re gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea what’s gonna happen!” JJ pointed out, taking a sip from the coffee mug in her hands.

“Yeah, you’re just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever!” Emily added. 

“Yeah… I guess it is pretty big news…” you sighed, taking a seat next to JJ on the couch. 

“Pretty big? It’s huge! God this guy doesn’t have a clue. He’s just walking down the street thinking, ‘I had sex with Y/N Y/L/N! I rock!’ Then bam!” Penelope clapped her hands. “Now he’s a father, everything’s different.

“Well it’s only gonna be different if he wants it to be. I mean, I’m not gonna ask him for anything…” You defended, anxiously running your hands through your hair.

“Well, he still has this huge decision to make. Now he’s walking around thinking, ‘Do I want to be a dad?’ and then, bam!” Penelope exclaimed clapping her hands again, never finishing her sentence.

“What was that bam?” JJ asked.

“I don’t know. H-he’s hit by a bus or something.”

Before you had time to process Penelope’s words, Morgan walked through the door, immediately sauntering over to the fridge.

“Hey, Derek, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you she was pregnant?” You asked, craving a guy’s perspective.

Slamming the fridge door he looked up at you wide eyed. “Who called here?!” 

The girls rolled their eyes as his panicked expression only continued. “Did she sound blonde? Did she have an accent?! I gotta make a call-“ He began to run towards the door.

“Derek! Derek, it’s not you! You didn’t get anybody pregnant!” You called out to him, making him stop in his tracks.

He let out a sigh of relief, clutching his chest. “Why would you scare me like that?! What the hell’s going on?”

There was a long silence as Derek made his way over to the living room, raising a finger. “Is somebody pregnant?”

You scoffed, trying to play off your nervousness, before you turned to Emily, giving her those same desperate eyes from the night before. 

“Oh, yeah! That’s me!” Emily laughed awkwardly.

“Oh my God! Em! You’re gonna have a baby?” He gasped, walking towards her.

“Yes, yes I am.” She said smiling as he walked up and pulled her into a hug.

Derek was so excited for her he almost forgot to ask the most important question. “Wait- who’s the father?”

“You don’t know him. It’s not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby.” 

Derek’s jaw was on the floor. “Who is this guy?! Huh? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!”

Emily was at a loss for words as Penelope spoke up, “I know she doesn’t want to say it… but his name is Kevin Lynch!”

That was all Derek had to hear as he angrily turned away and stormed out of the apartment, muttering the name ‘Kevin Lynch’ under his breath. 

As the door slammed shut, all three of you turned your heads to Garcia. 

“Pen, who’s Kevin Lynch?”

“Oh, some guy from work. He’s a little annoying.” She shrugged.

-

A couple of hours later, you found yourself sitting alone in O’Keefes, nursing a cup of tea with a racing mind. You had played the conversation from earlier in your head a million times, you were so scared to drop this bomb on him. You didn’t want to make him feel obligated to care for you and the baby.

While you freaked out, Emily, and Penelope stayed in the apartment trying to stop JJ from opening up all the wedding presents without Will.

Derek had quickly barged through the door. “Um, Emily…”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Alright, sit down. I have something I wanna say!” Emily obliged and took the seat, not without clutching her stomach and giving her non existent baby a small pat. “It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mother.”

JJ and Penelope listened intently, having no idea where this was going. “Now, I’ve always felt you and me have had this special connection, a special bond…” He had crouched down, getting on one knee, pulling a box from his back pocket. The girls gasped. 

“Emily Prentiss… will you marry me?”

Emily was in awe looking between Derek and the ring. 

“Oh my God!” JJ exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

“Derek, what about me? I thought we promised that if we both weren’t married within the next ten years, we were each others backup plan!” Garcia croaked.

“Derek-” JJ started walking towards the two but was cut off by Emily excitedly putting the ring on her finger. “Hell yeah I’ll marry you!”

“Em, you can’t marry him-“

“Hey, lady, your day’s over. It’s my turn!” She retorted, grinning down at the hand.

“Hey! Why can’t she marry me?”

Penelope stood up this time. “Because she’s not pregnant! It’s Y/N! Y/N’s pregnant!”

“Hey!” Emily whined. 

“I think he would notice when you didn’t have a baby in nine months!”

“Oh please, it’s Derek!” Emily complained. There was really no arguing with that.

“Wait so if Y/N’s pregnant, who’s the father?” Derek asked in shock.

“That’s the thing, we don’t know.”

There was a silence before Derek was struck with realization. “You know… about a month ago, this guy spent the night with Y/N… now I didn’t see who it was, but…” and just like that he walked out.

“Was that story over?” Garcia asked as the trio followed him out to his apartment across the hall.

Derek emerged from his room holding a bright red sweater. The girl’s gasped as Penelope took it from Derek’s hands. 

“Oh my God, I know who the father is!”

-

The next morning, you and Penelope began to walk to O’Keefes. Before you could open the door, she reached out to stop you. 

“I have a surprise for you!”

“Pen… what is it?” You asked reluctantly.

“I called the father for you!” She said smiling.

“You what?! How did you even know-“ You stopped as she showed you the bright red sweater you had been pulling off just a month ago. You gasped.

“I believe this belongs to the father of your baby!” She gushed, holding it up.

“Oh, God… he’s in there right now?”

“Yep! You got this, Pretty Girl. Just go in there and rip the bandaid off!” And with that she pushed you inside and you were met with the eyes of your ex, Luke Alvez. Honestly you were surprised Penelope had even called him, she had genuinely never liked the guy.

“L-Luke?” You managed to choke out as you sat in the chair across from him.

Penelope followed you to the table, already rolling her eyes at the man in front of her. “Y/N has something to tell you.” She pulled the sweater from behind her back. “I believe this belongs to you.”

Luke gave a confused look as he began to pull down the zipper of his jacket. “Actually, no. This is my red sweater.”

You immediately put your head in your hands as Penelope’s jaw dropped.

“Oh no…” She stuttered. It was silent. “Can I get anyone a coffee… or a poison? No? Just for me? Oh, okay!” And with that she ran away, knowing she had messed up big time.

“So, what’s up, Y/N?” He asked, smiling at you.

“I’m sorry, Luke. But Pen made a mistake-“

“You know I’m actually glad she called. I’ve been meaning to reach out and see if maybe you’d be interested in getting drinks sometime soon. I really miss… us.” He confessed, grabbing your hand.

“This isn’t a great time…” you trailed off.

“Trust me, it is. I’m ready to be fully committed and mature this time around, Y/N.”

“Luke-“

“Come on, let’s give us another try.”

“Luke, I’m having a baby.” You gulped, him dropping your hand at the speed of light.

There was a long pause.

“You can go.” He didn’t even think twice before running out of O’Keefes at the speed of light.

-

You and Penelope walked back to JJ’s in silence. You weren’t mad at her, you knew she was only trying to help. You were more mad at yourself for not having the courage to just tell the actual father the truth.

You walked in the door, placing the red sweater and your bag on the kitchen table. Derek was the first person to speak up.

“How did Luke take it?”

“One, Luke isn’t the father!” You huffed. “And two, who told Derek?!”

You looked around at JJ and Emily’s guilty faces as Derek interjected. “Y/N… I am so happy for you.” He pulled you into a hug, being careful not to squeeze you too hard, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh, wow, you didn’t even try to unhook my bra this time!” You exclaimed as he pulled back. He laughed before he got down on one knee in front of you. You looked behind you at the girls in shock as they rolled their eyes.

He shook his head and grabbed your hand. “Listen, it’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I’ve always thought that you and I have this special bond, you know? So, Y/N Y/L/N…” He smiled softly up at you. “Will you marry me?”

“What?” you sputtered along with JJ and Emily and Garcia who let out an, “Again?!”

“Emily! Give me the ring back!” He whispered, never breaking eye contact with you.

“No!”

“Oh, Derek! You’re so sweet! But I’m not looking for a husband.” You sighed, ushering him to stand up.

He frowned and nodded, “It’s fine… I understand.”

You smiled softly as you gathered your belongings. “Now, if you will, excuse me I’m gonna go and lie down.” You left the room with a wave to the rest of the girls, promising to see them later. There was a lot on your mind and you just needed a second to breathe.

As the door closed, Emily walked up to Derek, shaking her head. “I can’t say that didn’t hurt.” JJ pinched the bridge of her nose, not believing this was still going on. “But I’ll take you back Derek Morgan.”

“Um, Em… About that-��� Saved by the bell, Spencer and Hotch walked in the room, greeting everybody with a wave. 

Morgan jumped up, trying to distract Emily from the previous conversation, “Look everybody! Spencer’s here!” He chuckled nervously. Hotch rolled his eyes and raised his hands up, clearly offended by being ignored.

Spencer looked around confused before just deciding to ignore Morgan’s strange behavior that he was so used to.

“Anyway, you guys ready to go to that movie-“ He began to feel around his pockets, groaning as he realized he had forgotten something. “Hold that thought, I forgot my wallet.” He began to walk out but was immediately stopped short as he noticed something on the table. 

“Hey! My sweater-“ He spoke, walking over to where it was laying, picking it up and examining it.

“I’ve been looking for this, for like, a month!” He laughed, before walking out.

JJ, Emily and Penelope all looked around, mouths dangling open.

“Oh my God!”

“No way!”

“It’s Reid!”

Morgan looked at the girls with a puzzled expression. They just started back at him waiting for the realization to come, which hit five seconds later.

“Oh my God!” He yelled, pointing to where Spencer had just left. 

Hotch looked around confused. 

“Did I miss something?”

[charmspoint]

how was it ^-^

Let's seee. It was good, perfectly enjoyable, it reads fast and i was never really bored with it. I'd give most chapters like a 7/10 and then chapters 71-82 like 8 or 9/10 and then back to like 7/10 and the ending was weird but also kinda sweet in its own way.

Now to preface anything else: This isn't my type of manga. I can easily see it being a 10/10 for someone who really likes fight scenes and death and gore and what not. I'm not really into that, I'm a character and story driven person which is why the manga as a whole scored as just goodish to me while chapters 71-82 which kinda make a lot of emotional and psychological aspects of the chapters before them come to culmination scored a lot better. You know I don't GET fights. Chainsaw man was very gory but I didn't even really register it. Like because of all the gore I feel I heard people say it has horror aspects but I never really felt scared or off put or anything. It was just kinda like 'oh a lot of people are in pieces rn, okay, that's a thing that's happening'. So yeah that's why the score is the way it is, it simply isn't a manga that focuses on things I like and that's perfectly alright. I couldn't buy into the hype like I did with jjk and I certently didn't feel 'oh this is the best thing ever' like I felt with witch hat atelier.

With all that out of the way let me talk long and hard about Denji and sexual aspects of the series in a surprisingly positive light:

I like Denji as a character. I think he's still a bit rough around the edges but he's not a character made for introspection so that's fine, you really kinda have to take what he says and how he acts and think about it because the author won't do it for you. That being said, I think Denji is probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've read so far. Like when I read bnha or jjk I see Izuku and Yuji and I'm like 'this is a shonen protagonist'. They are a likable character but they won't be your favorite character. They are largely made for japanese high school boys to project themselves on and I'm not a japanese high school boy. That being said, Denji feels like a character of his own and not something meant to be projected on to. Honestly if anyone projected on to Denji I'd be worried about them. But that makes him probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've ever read. You just wanna dig a shovel into his skull and go 'man kid ur fucked up'.

I know when you first read csm you were off put by Denji because it felt like a manga put a pervert character as a protag which is naturally off putting and I can 100% see that. Now be it because I was warned about it first or something else, I didn't actually find fanservice jarring at all. It kinda was integrated into the world in a way that made me think 'yeah of course it's like this'. This is a very grim and rough and drty world and things in it would be just like that. It is a story about base desires and sex is one of those. These are people who expect they will die any day now and Denji is a person who's just now getting to experience a somewhat decent standard of living. Here's a thing I noticed though: even as Denji thinks many sexual things (which, he's a teenager, that's normal) he's actually very respectful. I don't think I've ever seen him touch anyone without their permission, in fact i think things like that mostly happen to him. Like example how Power comes in just as Denji is in the middle of his 'i wanna touch some boobs' phase. You would almost expect that what happens next is we see him try to grope Power as she's sleeping or something. But no, he doesn't do a thing until she asks him to help her save her cat and he gets to touch her boobs for it. And it's like this with p much every other sexual encounter through the series. Both partners are consenting and getting something out of the whole thing. Sexual aspects are used as normal bartering chips in a world where your whole body is a bartering chip. It's normal and no one is forced into it. I've told you before that my biggest misgiving with fanservice is that it's often based on embarrassment and unwilling participation of the girls. Like fanservice isn't fanservice because you saw a boob it's fanservice because you saw a boob when you weren't supposed to, when the girl didn't want you, when she's angry or scared or embarrassed because you did. A lot of fanservice feels very much like taking something from the girl, debasing and humiliating her for the sake of watchers/readers satisfaction.

Despite all it's sexual jokes and themes and everything else Chainsaw man never once made me feel like that. It never once made me feel like the author expected me to gain sexual satisfaction out of debasement of female cast. Which is why even though boobs and naked women are literally all over the manga I didn't mind it at all. It stopped being fanservice and became just a natural part of characters lives as sexuality and sex is a natural part of real world.

Back to Denji.

So I mussed a bit about Denji and Maslow before but here it is in total

Denji is 16 years old and at the beginning of the series he's just starting to have his physiological and safety needs met. Like he doesn't live like a human being at the start of the series and Makima recruiting him is A BIG CHANGE for him. Like for a good while Denji is like 'Now I have three meals a day and a place to sleep at so I'm good with whatever'. He's given reliable sources to fulfil his needs and he's given a way to keep those sources stable. He has a job, it's not a good job but he has it. He has a place to live and a theoretical safety net. He's immortal so there's nothing to fear in the death and injury department which means the otherwise unsafe job is perfectly fine for him. Now what Denji gets stuck on through most of the series is Love and Belonging. Because you can't just give someone love like you can give them food (not that Makima doesn't try). People are more complicated. Compromises need to be made and human connections are hard to establish, especially if you are someone like Denji who has no idea how to interact with others aside from obeying orders. This is why his need for love and belonging first manifests as a sexual need (that and he's an allo teenager). Human connections are hard but sexual contact doesn't have to come tied with connections so it's easier (if unsatisfactory as Denji finds out with Power) to achieve. A lot of Denji's personal growth is tied to him finding out that this need can be fulfilled by other things alongside sex. This is why I love chapters 71-82 so much because they are really a culmination of Denji's emotional journey in that category. Along the way along with sexual love he finds romantic one. He wants to spend time with girls he likes, he wants them to like him beyond the sexual. Of course sexuality is always an aspect of it but after that scene with Power it's never the only thing. Human connection, understanding the other person, knowing them, loving them, making them happy. And it all culminates in the familial love he finds with Aki and Power, taking care of someone and being taken care of for no other reason than they are your family and you love them, you care for them, you want them to be well and happy. There's this scene with Power later on when they are taking a bath together and Denji is like 'huh we are both naked but it doesn't feel naughty at all'. He's stopped seeing Power sexually because he started to see her as his sister and it's just really nice, those few chapters we get to see them as a family are really nice.

By the end of the series Denji starts checking off the esteem box too, by people accepting him and loving him and him feeling like he wants to respond to that, but I feel like that aspect and possible self actualization will be more explored in part 2.

There you have it, my essay about why Denji is the most compelling Shonen protagonist I've ever read :)

Also I really liked the girls in this series, it really isn't afraid of letting it's female characters be weird and gross and in Makima's case just plain evil and I appreciate it for that. I just wish Quanxi got more time and things to do but she's a side character and it's not her fault she's cooler than the whole main cast (Power best girl tho).

I feel like I talked a lot already about what was my most important take away from the whole thing but yeah, in general: pretty entertaining read, would probably be a complete blast for someone who's invested in fights, a little thin on psychology and emotion for my tastes but when it delivers them it delivers them good.

Also I like how it basically ended on 'you should give people more hugs' it was cute

Additionally I think the authors idea to basically release manga in seasons like you would an anime is straight up genius I hope that more mangakas start picking this up because it allows them more rest in between big arcs.

Ok now that's it for real this time.