#I hope I don't sound TOO insane lmao

[multi-fandomdisaster]

I wish we had more clear direct footage of Jon as Wiggly in NPMD. I need to study his body language NOW-

[ofyorkshire]

...oh my stars

i don't know if it was intentional, but repetitively referring to bj as "ziggy stardust" in the red riding novels completely foreshadowed bj's death.

[mila-uchiha]

Best Friend's Older Brother ⁺◦ Itachi x fem!reader

a/n: hey guys... not sure if any of you even remember my blog but its been 2/3 years since i've written lol. new life new errything but my new bf is giving me so much inspo for smut it's insane (he's so hot) and so here we go... enjoy! this prompt tickled something in my brain xxx (also this is set in a modern au w no uchiha massacre where reader wants sasuke's older brother itachi and winds up in his bed,,, just read it [3 years in the making] lol trust its GOOD)

warnings: NSFW, don't feel to write the rest in lmao i haven't done this inna while but hella smut just sayin

word count: 5.6k (wtf?? ok i went overboard here and did not realise but i hope u enjoy LMAO)

You knew it was wrong. You knew there would be conversation, after conversation once you two were done with this. You knew everything would change. But you had wanted it more than you had ever wanted anything before.

A few days prior, your best friend Sasuke had let you and your friend group (if you can even call them friends) know about a "small birthday get together"- in his words- at his house that weekend. You wanted to be excited. You wanted to enjoy yourself. But there were multiple reasons why you felt like you wouldn't; the first being the shitty group of friends that you two shared. They weren't the nicest people nor did they take interest in you and you somehow always felt like an outsider when around them. It was only when you and Sasuke hung out alone did you really enjoy someone else's company. Unfortunately being friends with him meant being around these guys a lot, and that included this weekend for his birthday.

The second reason involved something more complicated: Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's brother. You were- let's not use the word obsessed...- maybe a bit infatuated with him. It may seem like a good thing, to spend a night at the house where your crush lived, but seeing him hurt a little bit more inside every time, and I'll explain why.

Sasuke hadn't been your best friend since you two were kids- it had only been a few years since you met, and yet still, a few years was enough to develop the most enormous crush on his older brother- and of course Sasuke knew nothing. It started off very innocently, you knew nothing would ever happen, you knew he'd never want someone as young as you, and you simply found comfort and entertainment in keeping it to yourself- a silent crush... That was until last year.

You were different now. More mature. Emotionally and physically. You knew that you were capable of being with someone his age and you felt yourself growing older by the day, your interests expanding and your emotions as well. You talked more than usual at the dinner table with Sasuke's family about "intelligent" topics (or what you thought classified as intelligent). You tried to make your presence more known. You tried speaking to Itachi (occasionally) and yet every thing you did was met with a response that contained no more than a few words. And there was certainly never any reciprocation of question given to him that was directed back to you. Not only was he blunt, he was cold too, his voice lingering with iciness and a twang of unkindness, snarky comments occasionally slipping out.

Ultimately, it was useless, and that uselessness turned into pain. You didn't want to see him this weekend. It simply reminded you of what you wanted so badly, yet could never have and it had been three weeks since you had been to Sasuke's house, your feeling of isolation growing more and more. Until this weekend.

You walked up to Sasuke's house, hoping you could quickly sneak up to his room and wait for the rest of his friends to get there, but of course it was never that easy. This may sound like a cliche and joke, but it wasn't Sasuke's mom or dad that answered the door, it was Itachi, and when that door swung open and his brows furrowed upon inspection of who was at the door, you couldn't help but gulp and think this was all a mistake. You felt your heart sink and that horrible familiar feeling fill your chest again. You knew this would be a long night.

You both said your greetings (although his full of much less words than yours) and you stepped inside the house, faintly smelling his fragant smell- the best thing you had ever smelt in your life, although you didn't want to admit that in the moment.

It was awkward. He was cold, and weird and god you just wanted him so bad but of course once again you were left standing there uncomfortably. "Cmon y/n, think! Say something!", you thought to yourself and urged the confidence you had gained in the past year to enter once again as he shut the front door.

"So how's college? I haven't seen you in a few weeks." Finally, some words coming from you. He paused briefly, before answering, "It's fine, I thought you were here last week?"

Ouch. Clearly any attempt you had made to be noticed went unnoticed.

Before coming here, you knew he never paid attention to you (and when he did it wasn't very pleasant) so you thought there was no harm in specifically wearing something a bit "older", a bit more slutty. Your tits were highlighted and pushed up in this sleek, black, partially see-through lace top with a matching laced mini skirt alongside your knee high black boots. Your brown curls were left out and flowing, accompanied by a white headband that framed your face beautifully. You knew most guys your age would drool at the sight of you, but this wasn't most guys your age.

"Sasuke's upstairs", Itachi said roughly. "Yeah I know, I just-" You paused. You could see his eyes scanning your outfit, your body, up and down, his brows slowly furrowing at the sight. This is it! He's finally seeing me in a different light, you naively thought. That was until he opened his mouth.

"Why do you look like you're dressed for halloween?", he asked, a sense of judgment coming from his tone. You looked at him, confused, hurt. "Your outfit. You do realize you look like a nun right?". OH. fuck.

The stupid white headband you threw on with the all-black outfit made you slightly look like a nun, one that was standing there stupidly, looking- not only overdressed- but dressed for an occasion that was not tonight.

"Oh haha, I guess you're right. I do actually look like a nun..." You said quietly, your eyes trying to analyze his facial expression and read his thoughts.

"Yeah a slutty one- and not the good kind," and with that remark he scoffed, walking away as if he was bored with the conversation already.

A sluttly one. And not the good kind. You tried to walk up the stairs and head up to Sasuke's room but those words were repeating themselves in your head. As you opened the door and found Sasuke and two other friends sitting on his bed they all looked at you strangely. "Why are you dressed like that?". It was not going to be a good night.

The next few hours were filled with strange looks from the eyes of those dressed a bit more casually, weirdly sensual looks from some of his friends and mostly a lot of alcohol. You all were still in school but Sasuke's parents weren't exactly the strict type. Yours were however, and you had only ever been drunk once before this night- specifically for Sasuke's birthday last year. He was definitely not the best influence.

The drinking games and the shots were getting to be a bit too much for you as you felt yourself entering a state entitled "The most drunk I have even been.... why do I want more alcohol?". As teenagers do, a variety of games were played such as spin the bottle which involved you having to make out with some gross guy in the friend group and ultimately, strip poker- without the poker. You didn't manage much, however your top did come off, leaving your in your sleek black bra completely on display. You didn't really care though, as everyone else was half naked and now at least you could blend in a bit better without your raunchy, lacy top on.

Despite all the distractions happening in these two hours, you couldn't help but be hurt by everything that transpired downstairs upon your arrival. His tone, his words, I mean he practically laughed at you. You felt your heart sink the more you thought about it and as you found yourself getting more quiet and more drunk, you decided what better to do than head downstairs and give him a piece of your mind.

You had had it. The year of him making you feel like this. Like a younger brother's friend (which, yes, you were but come on, he didn't have to show it). The year of the rudeness and the way he ignored you in the times where you wished he didn't. You were about to head downstairs and tell him exactly how horrible he was. Except you didn't realize that you were in your bra.

As you reached the bottom step, you looked up to see Itachi walking towards the front door, heading past the steps with a few of his friends slowly following behind. "ITACH-", you couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Y/n what the hell are you doing? Why the fuck are you down here in your bra?" He grabbed your wrist tightly. "I'M COMing down HERe to tell you-", again no sentences finished. He spun you around and led you back up the stairs, his hands on either side of your lower back while he pushed and walked behind you. You only managed to produce thoughts for a second and in that second you almost seemed to sober up, his broad hands on your bare skin, the warmth and the feeling that filled you. It was short lived, though, the minute he removed them and guided you to his room. "What the fuck are you doing? My friends are downstairs and you're coming down in your bra?"

You entered his room, his smell evidently everywhere as you looked around at the familiar four walls. You had been there before when snooping around with Sasuke a few years ago, but of course Itachi didn't know that.

"So what? It's not that big of a deal", you slurred your words as he rummaged through his closet, as if he was in a rush. "Here" he tossed you a shirt. One of his shirts. "Put this on," he said as he looked at you with a slightly disgusted expression on his face.

"Why do I have to do anything you say? This is the most emotion you've ever showed me!" You shouted as he stood waiting for you to comply. He didn't respond.

"You know what, fine!" You reached for the waistline of your skirt. "I'm older now and if I want to walk around in my underwear I fucking can!" You started tugging your skirt down, partially revealing the lacy black underwear underneath but before you could fully drop your skirt to the floor, Itachi grabbed your wrists with both of his hands tightly.

"Y/n are you fucking serious? Don't fucking do that in my room or you wont be welcome in this house again." He said roughly in your ear. Ouch. His words were serious. His hands harshly let go your wrists as he added, "Put the shirt on and get the fuck out of my room please." He headed to the door and before he could open it you shouted back, "Where are you going?". He turned and looked back, the familiar icy blank stare facing you again. "To a party", and the door slammed shut.

The next few hours were filled with even more alcohol, to add to your already debilitated state. Sasuke and his friend's looked at you weirdly for wearing what was evidently Itachi's shirt, but nobody really questioned anything when you kept taking more shots of vodka, attempting to forget the embarrassment of a few hours ago.

As time went on, your enjoyment went down and so did your state of coherency. You could not shake the events of tonight, yet one thing you couldn't understand was why Itachi was so worried about you being downstairs in your bra in front of his friends? Surely that had nothing to do with him? Maybe he was embarrassed that one of his younger brother's friends was making an embarrassment of the family? Either way, whatever triggered his reaction surely wasn't prideful on your behalf.

It was now 1 am and you felt yourself slipping, unable to soberly process and function. You kept quiet for a bit, knowing Sasuke's friends wouldn't have cared if you were there or not and eventually decided it was time to get up and go find somewhere to sleep, possibly the couch. As you stumbled to open the door and nearly tripped on your way there, Sasuke knew you were completely out of your mind drunk and decided to help you walk, a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you alright, y/n? Do you feel to throw up?" You shook your head. No way were you doing that tonight. You knew you just needed to sleep. "Sleep- I just need to sleep."

"Okay, well you were going to sleep on my bed and I'd sleep in Itachi's room but I don't think these guys are leaving soon," He gestured to the open door in the hallway that lead to his room, a blur and haze of noise escaping it. "Ughhhh close the door, too loud!" you slurred and demanded. He laughed.

"Maybe you can just sleep in Itachi's room?" Your eyes suddenly opened wide. "Itachi??? No... No thank you I'll sleep on the floor." You suddenly plopped your drunken self on the floor of Sasuke's hallway. He laughed once more. "No, y/n, its fine. He's out at a party tonight and I doubt he'll be back- will probably spend the night by some girl as he usually does after parties."

Sigh. Probably spending the night by some girl huh?

You complied, finally, and managed to stumble into Itachi's room once more, still wearing his T-shirt and inhaling the scent of him that bounced off the walls. Before climbing into bed, you managed to at last take off the itchy, lace skirt and drop it to the ground alongside your bra and your underwear, remaining in nothing but Itachi's shirt. It may seem a bit strange, but this is how you slept. 'Fully breathable' you called it.

It didn't take long before you were under his duvet, wrapped up in his scent and warmth, and drifted off to sleep while the room slowly spinned.

By this point you were fast asleep. Hours and hours passed as you framed peaceful dreams in your head of god knows what- something you'd wake up to in the morning and forget. That was until the scent of Itachi filled your breath. Every inhale that was taken just fueled the desire in your crotch that kept building and building until you- fully asleep- started humping his bed. What you didn't realize in this moment was that the scent wasn't coming from his bed- it was coming from him. Right next to you.

In the few hours you slept, it was peaceful and quiet. Sasuke's friends left one by one and that led everyone in the house to eventually fall asleep. That was until a few minutes ago, when a partially drunk Itachi came staggering up the stairs into his own room, unaware you were in his bed. He didn't bother to turn on the lights, he was exhausted and just craving sleep and upon stripping into nothing but his boxers, he managed to crawl into his side of the bed.

It wasn't until he jumped into bed, unable to wake up in your passed out state, that he realized you were there. Fast asleep. Humping the mattress. Minutes of contemplation from him passed by but nothing could prepare you for what you saw when you awoke.

As your eyes slowly opened, your underwear fully soaked from the dream you had, Itachi's smell was stronger- it was more than just his bed. You adjusted your eyes and in your half-asleep state managed to latch on to the shadowy figure next to you: Itachi- with his hand in his boxers gently stroking himself up and down, whimpering ever so softly.

What. the. fuck. was going on. You didn't move a muscle- frozen in your position on your stomach as you tried to make sense of the situation. His hand was in his pants. His hand was stroking his dick! Surely this made no sense? Your thoughts ran rampant, trying to come to an explanation for this situation as you tried to understand that the only logical one was that he didn't you know were in his bed. Surely that was it right? He must've come back from this party, unsuccessful with whatever girl he was pursuing, and instead of winding up in her bed, he came back home to touch himself to the thought of her. That had to be it right?

Suddenly your hips started grinding again- the same as they were doing in your sleep. You simply couldn't help yourself. Despite being unable to actually see Itachi's dick, the blurry visual of his hand in his pants gently touching himself alongside the soft noises that escaped from his lips were enough to make you accidentally let out a moan as you grinded on his bed.

Now, you both were frozen from his realization that you were actually awake after the noise you made.

His hand quickly left his boxers, at the most rapid speed possible and he instantly sat up, his shadowed head facing you in the dark with his eyes slightly squinting.

"Y/n?" He called out with a hint of disgust in his voice. Great. You knew it. You knew he didn't realize you were in his bed and was definitely touching himself to some girl. You had the full view (besides his dick) and you ruined it by letting that moan escape your mouth.

This caused you to sit up as well. "Ita-chi?" you called out, the near- pitch black light of his room not helping. No response.

You hand patted his bed, trying to reach for his arm until you found it and latched onto it, your eyes both meeting in the darkness.

"Itachi? What are you doing?" you asked calmly.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He replied. "Why the fuck are you in my bed?".... You didn't know what to say.

"I- I don't know.... Sasuke told me that you wouldn't be here tonight and I needed somewhere to fall asleep before everyone left. I was really drunk... I still am, I'm so sorry- please believe me I'll leave now I didn't mean to intrude on a private time of yours," you rambled on an on and started to make your way out of his bed, away from the mess that this was. Until he grabbed your arm. With the same hand that was touching his dick.

"Wait, y/n, it's ok.... You don't have to go." Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned towards him again, the darkness still making it hard to see his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Well.. Sasuke's in his bed so you can't sleep there, and I'm not making you go on the couch downstairs. It's alright. You can spend the night in here, I don't mind."

You slowly crept back under his duvet, keeping a large distance between the two of you as you both sat there in silence. What the fuck was going on? Time passed and what felt like hours was only around one minute of straight silence. You were both trying to figure out what happened and it was sufficiently awkward at this point.

"I'm sorry I was in here while you uh... were.. ya know.. touching yourself. Sasuke told me you might've spent the night by a girl and I assume that you didn't, and needed some alone time to um... 'think of her'. I just didn't realize you came back," you tried to explain, your face showing clear embarrassment if only he could see it in the darkness.

Awkward silence filled the room for a few seconds. "Is that why you were grinding on my bed?" Itachi calmly asked. Fuck. He knows? So why was he touching himself while you were doing that?

"Ok fine. It's incredibly embarrassing but I was having a.. wet dream.. and you just happened to witness it. Nothing more to it."

"Is that why your eyes were open staring at me touching myself?".... Oh fuck. This was really bad. This was a very bad situati- wait.

"How did you know my eyes were open? You could see them?" You asked confusingly.

He didn't reply. You heard a scoff as he reached over to turn on his bedside lamp, a sensory input that distracted you from the horrible awkwardness of the conversation. Now the lights were on. There was no hiding anything. And both of you needed to explain.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asked. Unfortunately for him you were too distracted by the way he looked in the dim light to answer: shirtless, duvet sitting just below his boxers. Enough to see the hard bulge he still had, despite the uncomfortable situation.

"What were you touching yourself to?" You replied.

He paused. "No, y/n, I'm asking you. What were you dreaming about?"

Your eyes darted between his face and his bulge, evidently showing him that you could see it, yet for some reason, he didn't care. He left it on display, and god, were you taking it in. All of it. Sneakily hiding behind his black Calvin Klein boxers.

"Wait. Before I answer that, lemme just get this straight. So we were both practically pleasuring ourselves... in the same room.. in the same bed... while we both knew the other person was doing it?" You questioned. He had to provide answers at this point.

"Yeah." He replied.

That was it. A simple 'yeah'. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Oh come on Itachi, what is going on?"

"First, you'll answer what you were dreaming about."

"Oh my god, for fuck's sake! It was you! Obviously it was you!" you raised your voice, hoping no one else in the house could hear.

And just as the thought managed to process itself in his brain, you could see his dick twitch underneath his boxers. You both froze as seconds passed.

"What... were you touching yourself to..?" You managed to force the question out again despite your shyness at this moment.

"YOU, y/n. You in my shirt, in your fucking drunken, half asleep state, grinding your hips on my bed. That was until you fucking woke up without telling me."

"What?? Me??" You replied.

"God, of course I was. You showed up to my house looking... well.. the way you did. I couldn't stop thinking about it while I was out."

"So it was because of my outfit you got turned on?"

He scoffed. "Y/n, do you really think I haven't noticed you haven't been here for like three weeks?" Every sentence that was said he inched closer and closer to you. "You see this?" He looked down to his bulge. You were speechless. "Nobody's touched it in weeks. Except me. And anytime I have, I've been thinking about you, your face, your..." He paused.

"My what?" You asked, pressing him to answer.

He scooted back, realizing how close he was to you in the bed and all of a sudden looked like he had regretted those words. The entire energy shifted in the room and he abruptly went back to the very cold man he always was to you.

"Maybe you should actually sleep on the couch," he insisted.

Wow. One moment your wildest dream was coming true: his feelings were reciprocated. And then suddenly this? Was he regretting it?

"Itachi-"

"No, you should leave."

A sharp pain filled your chest and you felt hurt, beyond anything you'd felt before. You were slowly getting up to leave, disgusted by everything he exuded, but you knew he felt the same, and this was the one chance you had to fully prove it.

You turned back at him, his face turned away from you, not once grazing your skin. "Itachi, are you serious? Is that actually how you feel?" You inched closer to him. Soon, you were no more than a centimeter away, as you lifted your arm, ready to do something bold. While he still faced forward instead of looking at you, your arm trickled down to his boxers, finally managing to find his throbbing dick and hold it tightly.

You weren't very successful though, because in an instant, he grabbed the wrist of your arm, lifted it off his dick and used his other hand to grab you by the jaw. Now, you two were inches away from each other's face, your breaths mixing in the space between your lips while your eyes remained locked. Itachi spoke low, roughly;

"Y/n, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"No, but we can deal with the stress of this situation after. I know what I want. I promise."

He paused as his eyes scanned between your lips and your eyes. "I don't mean that."

"Then what do you mean?"

"You can't handle this. It's too much for you." His lock on your wrist tightened.

"I. know. what. I. want."

And with that, both of your heads came crashing together as your lips met, a rough harsh kiss at first, that slowly turned into a slow sensual one as your tongues found each other.

You felt his hands wrap around you while you were still in his shirt as he found himself on top of you, his throbbing bulge meeting your bare pussy with no underwear. You both grinded against each other, giving you a feeling you had never felt before, until he realized you weren't wearing any underwear.

He paused, moved back slightly and stared at your opening fully bare while your legs were spread. He acted like he'd never seen one before with a girl.

"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. "Take the shirt off. Now."

And you did as you were told, leaving your bare tits in his sight as he continued to stare. He stared even more, then leant in, without touching, and whispered in your ear.

"Before I touch any part of you- and fuck I want to so badly- I need you to give me head, naked and pretty like this....... But I need to know that you can handle this, y/n. It's going to be a lot."

Your eyes met each other's as you nodded your head, willing to give him anything. And with that, he stepped off the bed and pulled his boxers down, finally revealing what he had underneath.

His thin, long dick with the prettiest, pink tip sprung out as he gestured you towards him.

"On your knees. Now."

And so you listened.

You dropped your knees to the floor and inched towards his dick, realizing that you had fantasized about it in the past. But what Itachi didn't know is that you had never given head before.

Your mouth opened wide as you let him insert it himself, a small groan escaping his lips once he felt it against your tongue.

You didn't know what to do. You knew that. But before you could attempt to make him feel good, he spoke,

"I'm going to throat fuck you okay?" And you have to take it." You nodded, and let him do what he wanted to you.

It started off slow. A gentle pace as he became more vocal, almost near moaning. But as his pace picked up, you didn't know if you could take it. He began thrusting in an out of your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat while his hands held your head, and as that happened you couldn't stop yourself from gagging.

"God your mouth feels so good on my cock."

By this point he was practically pounding into your throat, a sensation you had never experienced as tears fled down your cheek. Your eyes closed for a second, trying to catch yourself and let your throat relax, but as you opened your eyes and looked up at him, the tears from gagging turned into real tears. It was too much for you. And he could tell.

He stopped, slowly, but finally came to a stand still as tears still streamed down your eyes. "Y/n, are you okay?" You sat there on your knees in silence, embarrassed that you knew you couldn't handle it.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's okay," he grabbed you from the floor and lifted you up onto his bed as he got under the covers with you. Now you both were fully nude, bodies pressed against each other, but you enjoyed the comfort. It was more than just sexual.

"I'm sorry," you tried to speak amidst the tears, "I've just.... I don't know,"

"What is it? Tell me?"

"It's just that.... I... I have never given head.. And you expect so much.. I don't know what I thought. I knew I couldn't keep up with girls your age. This whole situation is just so much for me."

"Hey, shh, it's okay. Y/n it's okay. We don't have to do anything."

"But I want to," you replied amidst tears.

Itachi sighed. "It's okay. It's my fault for being so rough. I'll take care of you baby, let me show you how I've always wanted to fuck you."

Baby. He called you baby. And with that you agreed, nodding your head and leaning in to kiss him again.

This time it was sensual, your tongues licking each other as his lips trickled down to your neck, finally reaching your tits. He played with them for a bit, gently sucking and squeezing your nipples to force moans from you, until his lips trailed even further down, finally able to make you feel good.

"Such a pretty cunt," he pressed a kiss right on your clit, making your legs buckle. As his tongue flicked your clit in ways you could never imagine, you found yourself moaning very audibly; a sound you thought Itachi would never hear from you. He led you close to your release and sped up even faster, until finally stopping, leaving you upset that he didn't let you finish.

As his head perked back up, his lips red and flushed, he smirked, finally bringing his dick to your entrance, leaning in to whisper in your ear again.

"This may hurt baby, tell me if it hurts and I can either fuck you through the pain or stop. It's all up to you."

You nodded, unable to audibly form words. You simply couldn't wrap your mind around that fact that Itachi was speaking to you like this- like he wanted you. As he lined his dick up with your opening, he slowly pressed in, making way for his cock as you two watched each other forcefully- no eye contact broken. You both moaned, heavily once it finally managed to reach all the way in and Itachi leant in to kiss you as he started thrusting inside you.

His moans grew as well as his words, "Fuck, what a tight cunt," "Good girl, keeping squeezing around my cock." The pace of his thrusts increased as his thumb suddenly found your clit, rubbing it roughly and nearing you to an orgasm. As you locked eyes with his, you felt yourself coming undone the minute he spoke. "That's it- good girl, yes, yes- just like that let it out- show me how you cum" And as you reached your climax, moaning harder than you ever have before, you found yourself extremely close to Itachi: your lips pressed against his and as your mouth was open in an 'O' shape, he mimicked the same, helping you ride out your orgasm.

Once you finally caught yourself, you felt Itachi's dick start moving again inside you, and as his pace picked up you could tell he was close.

"Baby, I'm going to cum in you okay? Has anyone ever done that before?"

And as quickly as you could reply 'no', he came fully undone, groaning heavily as you felt his white cum seep out into you, almost as if him being the first person to release in you tipped him over the edge.

His body weight rested on you, skin to skin while his dick remained inside you and your breaths matched each other's. You couldn't wrap your mind around the events of tonight and how it lead to this although you'd never complain ever again in your life. From seeing Itachi pissed off at you in your bra (which was evidently because he didn't want anyone else to see you like that), to being rough and dominant, to then fucking you sensually, telling you how beautiful you were, you simply felt like you were dreaming.

"Itachi, please pinch me and tell me this is real," you urged.

"It is real, and it's perfect, but it may not be tomorrow... We may have some explaining to do."

You paused, upset at the fact that this night could not last forever.

"Well let's make it last as long as it can- you can be more rough with me... show me that side of you.. I want to experience it."

Itachi smirked, flipping you over immediately onto your stomach and into an arch with your ass in the air.

"Good, because this ass looked like it needed some smacks." And as you felt his massive palm strike down on your right cheek, leaving an obvious mark, you knew that tonight you were about to experience something sexually that you never had before.

And tomorrow's problem... was tomorrow's problem.

[lowkeyrobin]

hello:))

been loving ur mcyt preferences, and was wondering if you would do one where reader has insomnia???

I take medication for it and i got took off it for a break UGHH. anyways luv ur writing and take ur time plz:))

ooooo okay!! ; and thank you thank you, I appreciate it 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; insomniac/night owl

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, sleep paralysis, jokes about OD'ing (melatonin)

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

genuinley feels so bad bc the second he closes his eyes, he's passed the hell out

he'll try and stay awake with you though and wait for the melatonin or just sleep in general to kick in

"if you're too tired to work, then don't. go back to sleep, don't worry about it"

compares you to tubbo 24/7

will bring you cherries and some milk because natural melatonin ❗️❗️

sometimes he'll try and stay awake with you and turn a movie on and he'll just pass out on your shoulder

you'll walk into his stream after sleeping until like 5 in the evening and quietly wave with a groggy look on your face

he laughs (in a very lighthearted way dw)

"y/nnnnn I know you're tired but we gotta go before we miss it"

"I'm coming, I'm coming"

you're basically just a night owl, like his personal guard dog lmao

he'll joke about it a bit too, how you're protecting him in the dark from the monsters 😭

RANBOO

he can and will stay up all night with you

mostly plays video games with you in hopes you'll get tired that way

which works a bit

does insane amounts of research, gets you eating all sorts of natural melatonin before bed and even gets you like children's melatonin gummies 💀💀

"do you have a sleep paralysis demon? are you just scared to sleep?"

"I just cannot sleep, I just toss and turn all night, I swear to god"

one of those people to do endless amounts of research to try and help

"do you wanna go to the doctor and get a prescription or something? maybe it'll help"

tweeting/posting about dumb shit you do at night

"y/n made a whole loaf of bread overnight someone send help"

"tell me why I woke up this morning to my partner staring into my soul holy shit"

FREDDIE BADLINU

also feels rlly bad that he can't help you

also brings you cherries, bananas and milk for natural melatonin in hopes it'll help a bit

will genuinley take you to a doctor to get you a prescription or something

also tweets about the shit you do while he's asleep overnight

"guys y/n picked up crocheting overnight wth"

"love when my partner wakes me up at 5am for breakfast because it was going cold 🥰 (they started cooking at 3:30am)

he can't stay up too late most days, he's a busy man

he feels so bad if you're sleeping through the whole day, he barely ever wakes you up bc he knows you're tired

"love, go back to sleep, you were up all night, I'll call you in sick, don't worry about it"

he strays away from od jokes when you're taking melatonin gummies/pills but sometimes he just has to say it

if you have a sleep paralysis demon as well, yk damn well he'll find his way into your dreams and beat the bitch up

if you can't sleep but he can, he'll just hold you and hope that you'll sleep soon

you'll usually sit there and play with his hair and admire him til you gotta get up and do something

NIKI NIHACHU

like ranboo, she puts in endless research of just trying to find things that might help you

she feels so bad

especially when you're sleeping all through the day and feel groggy as hell 24/7

if you have a paralysis demon she always reassures you that she'll beat it up for you next time it comes around

anything to make you smile bro

she's so sweet about it, if you're sleeping she makes sure to keep it quiet because this is one of the rare chances when you're sleeping

if you go multiple days without sleep and start tweaking out, she'll comfort you to sleep, doesn't matter how long it'll take

"It's okay, honey. it's okay, just focus on the rain sounds outside"

dedicated a whole kinda calm music playlist to help you sleep/relax yourself

finds it so funny when you do shit during the night to try and entertain yourself and it's the most random shit

like you'll go out and feed stray cats, accidently steal a shopping cart, fight the air and record it, etc

sleepy on stream hugs >>>

"well good morning, sunshine. its seven pm"

ALEX QUACKITY

"bro how do you not sleep"

if you got a sleep paralysis demon.... oh it's over for that mf

tweets about the dumb exhausted shit you do

"how do I turn y/n off at bedtime? I'm tired of waking up to see them staring into my soul"

"I love waking up to breakfast (I've been woken up at 4am for the past 2 weeks help me rn)"

thinks it's funny and sad at the same time when you start tweaking after not sleeping

"bro, go to sleep, cmon, it's okay, you're fine" as he's trying not to laugh at you

literally stuffs you with melatonin around 7:30 to see if it'll help LMAO

even talks on stream about how he's gonna fight the demons and pretends whoever he's fighting w is one LMAO

loves when you walk into stream all groggy and tired because he can finally spend a little time w you

[buckseb]

give it another chance

pairings — fred weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, featuring platonic!bff!george weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, platonic!bff!cho chang x fem!hufflepuff!reader and platonic!bff!cedric diggory x fem!hufflepuff!reader

summary — in which, she's been hurt before, but fred hopes she'll give him a chance.

word count — 5.0k.

warnings — mentions of past heartbreak that reader experienced and having had given up on love and relationships a long time ago because of it, reader has deep, DEEP insecurities and issues with herself, reader is very close with cedric, george and cho, there's slight mention of angelina and fred's possible relationship AND flirting, george, cho, and cedric call her pet-names but they're all platonic, reader and angelina and fred are all good friends (along with the golden trio) but just not as close as she is with cedric, cho, and george, angelina and fred are extremely clueless and oblivious to what's literally RIGHT in front of them, fred worries over reader, cedric and cho protective mode activated lmao, fred gets jealous easily of cedric and reader despite the fact that they're just friends, this is a hurt/comfort fic, fred is kind of a big jerk to cedric because of his jealousy, use of pet-names [sweetheart, love], fluff, angst, fred is sooo whipped for the reader, mentions of the reader experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional/mental abuse in past relationships.

notes — yes, as a matter as a fact, the reader is a hufflepuff because i just love the fred x hufflepuff reader fics and also bc i'm a hufflepuff myself and this is kind of just a fic to comfort me because i deal with the same issues that the reader does and because i've just fallen into my obsession with him again! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

SHE SIGHS, IGNORING THE CONCERNED looks she's quickly receiving from her friends.

"why don't you just tell him how you feel?" george quietly asks, trying to not irritate the girl, following her line of sight to the table where fred is sat with his girl friend sitting beside him.

"george, please. don't start this again." she mumbles, turning to look away from the other twin when he suddenly looks over to her direction.

he sighs, his eyes becoming filled with sympathy. "why not? everyone knows about how you feel. if you tell him how you feel, he'd immediately stop his flirtations with angelina." he murmurs seriously as she rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath.

"aren't you supposed to be sitting with him anyways? this is where us hufflepuffs sit." she rolls her eyes again as he throws a pointed look at her, knowing that she's only trying to change the subject.

"c'mon, darling. don't lie to me — or try to change the subject. this is me," he states seriously, raising his eyebrows at her as she sighs shakily, beginning to push her food away. "i'm always here for you."

"george... it really doesn't matter — it doesn't matter at all, how i feel about him. don't you see?" she asks him, her voice wavering in emotion as they both glance back at fred and angelina.

tears cloud her eyes as she gulps, trying to ignore the heartache and the sound of the crack in heart, while george watches her in concern — he knows this look too well.

anytime that [y/n] has ever loved or liked someone, she'd always wear that broken look on her face, after pushing them away and hiding her true feelings.

she just couldn't deal with allowing herself to let someone in — the last time she did, she experienced an insane amount of pain and trauma. she couldn't let anyone in again, after that.

but, even as she watches angelina and fred flirt so naturally with each other, not only does her heart split even further, but a part of her yearns to be with him.

more than anything, she wishes she could let go of the worry and fear of getting her heart broken again. but, it's not possible.

"he's happy with her. he doesn't feel that way about me and i can't just ruin that because of my feelings," she states, trying to keep her voice level. "besides, i can't tell him for other obvious reasons."

"merlin, [y/n]. don't do this to yourself — you can't keep punishing yourself." cedric speaks up, already having enough of the self-destructive behavior of his best friend.

"guys, just leave it alone," she inhales deeply as she prepares to lie straight through her teeth. "i've moved on. now it's your turn to do the same."

—————

GEORGE WALKS INTO HIS AND his twin's dorm room, only to notice fred sitting quite tensely on his bed, seemingly stuck in his own mind.

"brother, are you alright?" his brother's voice startles him out of his thoughts as he snaps his head up.

"oi! don't sneak up on me like that!" he yells in a joking tone of voice, immediately making the decision to hide his clear stress with humor — something that he does all too much.

george fixes his twin with a familiar look, as if to say, "seriously?"

fred sighs in defeat, avoiding his brother's worried glance for a moment.

"seriously, fred. what's going on? i've never seen you so upset like this before."

with another sigh, he catches his brother's concerned eyes. "[y/n]'s been acting different lately — i reckon she's been avoiding me."

a knowing look crosses george's face, causing fred to frown in confusion. "brother... what do you know about this?"

even with his undying loyalty to his twin — his best friend in the entire world — he wouldn't dare betray [y/n]'s trust and expose her feelings, even if he wants his brother and his good friend to finally be together and would do just about anything to make it happen.

despite how quiet and reserved [y/n] is, she can be quite scary when someone hurts or angers her. and boy, when she's angry, that is something he'd rather avoid than witness because of his own stupidity.

so, still with the knowing look in his eyes, he half-lies, "nothing. i just noticed that she was quite upset herself earlier at dinner."

hearing this, fred's ears perk up at this.

though, from the way his brother avoids looking him in the eyes, he quickly suspects that he knows more than he's letting on.

"georgie, what are you not telling me?" he questions, slightly louder than intended, as his brother simply shrugs, a small smirk placed on his lips.

with clear frustration, fred ignores his brother's weird behavior, going to grab his jumper. throwing it on, he quickly walks past his brother to the door of their dorm.

"what are you going to do?" he questions, worrying that a confrontation might make things worse for [y/n].

with that same tense look on his face, which quickly changes into one of determination, fred turns to face his brother, only for a moment. "i'm going to find out what's going on and i'm going to fix it."

and with that, he pulls the door open and rushes off down the stairs, not giving george a chance to respond to him, or to even stop him.

—————

THERE'D BEEN A PARTY IN the gryffindor's common room — george and fred had been lucky to not have joined the party, this time.

athough, lee had been the one to start it, not without putting a spell on the room to keep the loud talking and music from being heard outside of the room.

cedric had dragged [y/n] along with him and cho chang. but, no matter how many times her best friend tried to cheer her up, it was no use.

she couldn't stop thinking about fred and her feelings — and god knows whatever's going on between him and angelina.

though, someone appearing in front of her shakes her out of her miserable train of thoughts.

"[y/n]! how are you?" angelina asks, that familiar sweet and kind smile placed on her face.

despite her hurt feelings over fred and her refusal to admit anything, she knows that she hates the girl stood in front of her.

not only because of the fact that she's her friend, but because of the fact that angelina is perfect. and more importantly to [y/n], she's perfect for fred.

fred — someone she's cared for and loved for such a long time. despite how much she cares for him and how hurt she is by the aching pain in her heart, she couldn't ever be selfish for her own desires — more than anything, she wants him to be happy.

so, with a forced smile and the action of blinking away her tears, she answers her, "i'm fine! why? do i not seem okay?" she questions her cautiously and worriedly, scared that she's not as good of an actor as she thought.

"oh, no! i just mean fred and i haven't see you in a while and we've both been quite concerned for you." she explains, the worry and kindness very evident in her eyes.

at the very mention of the boy she loves, [y/n]'s facial expression falters. "o—oh... " she trails off, taking notice of the way angelina described herself and fred. was there truly something else going on between them — possibly something much more than she'd initially suspected?

both cho and cedric wear both awkward and sympathetic looks, knowing how uncomfortable the conversation is for their friend. though, she doesn't admit it.

after all, she wants her two friends to be happy, even if it means it won't be her being with one of those said friends.

quickly masking the pain that she feels into an expression of fake happiness, [y/n] turns to cedric and his girlfriend. "why don't you guys go on and enjoy the party? i'll be fine."

cedric, remaining the ever-so-loyal-friend, hesitates, while cho decides to pull him away from the two girls, having faith in [y/n]'s strength of character.

"are you sure?" he asks, continuing to hesitate as his girlfriend tries to pull him away.

[y/n] rolls her eyes and lightly shoves him towards his girlfriend, making sure to not push him too hard into her. "just go."

a few seconds later, cho successfully leads her boyfriend across the room to talk to harry, ron, and hermione, who are across the room. though, they're also watching [y/n] very carefully.

as she turns to face her friend stood in front of her, angelina watches her closely, trying to understand what she's feeling. though, she doesn't get a single hint, aside from the glee on her face — obviously this is fake, only to keep her friend from worrying or understanding the true feelings behind her pain.

though, most of the majority of the people at hogwarts know of her feelings towards fred, angelina is among some of the few people that don't know about it — she's too clueless for her own good.

"[y/n]... are you sure everything's alright? you seem... different."

as she goes to open her mouth, surely to give her some bullshit excuse of being fine, something behind her friend catches her attention.

a flash of firey-red hair makes her stop. she gapes as his slightly upset gaze finds her equally just as hurt eyes.

her eyes meet cedric's from across the room in panic, before she glances back at fred, only to notice george now appearing from behind him.

"[y/n]? what's going on?" angelina asks, though [y/n] only hears it as a faraway, muffled voice, before she's able to acknowledge it.

as her panicked eyes find george's, she notices his own worried glance, before looking back at angelina. "i... " she gulps, her throat quickly becoming extremely dry.

"i—i have to go... i'm suddenly feeling terribly sick to my stomach." she lets out in a wavering tone of voice and rushes out of the room, cedric quickly leaving with cho following him, after [y/n].

fred misses them, just as he begins to step forward.

—————

CEDRIC AND CHO FIND HER sitting on a pair of vacant stairs, holding her knees to her chest with her head hiding over them. tears are streaming down her cheeks — the emotions she's been desperately trying to avoid and hide and bottle up, have finally come exploding out.

she heaves in embarrassingly long breaths as both of her friends sit by her on both sides of her.

cedric places a hand over her shoulder, easily pulling his best friend into his chest to hold her as she cries once more, while cho holds one of her hands and squeezes it to comfort her.

"i... i'm so fucking stupid. how did i think i could get through any of this without going mad? and even more than that, it hurts to see them together... "

cedric's eyebrows knit together in an upset manor as he and cho share the same look. "you're not stupid, [y/n]. hardly. if anything, that bloke of a weasley is the one who's an idiot, not you," he murmurs as cho nods in agreement.

"sweetheart, anyone would be mental to not want to be with you. you're better than half the girls that are constantly throwing themselves at him." cho states seriously, which causes [y/n] to let out a choked laugh.

"not better than angelina, though. right?" she sniffles, more tears filling her eyes at the mere thought of her friend and fred getting together and having to see that every day.

"don't think like that." cedric murmurs, immediately tightening his hold on the girl when he notices two red-haired boys making their way near the stairs.

"what do you want, weasley? can't you see she's upset?" cedric exclaims, though not too loud to alert any adults walking around the castle, growing protective over his friend, hating how much pain he's causing her.

don't get me wrong, cedric likes fred — he approves of fred and he thinks he and [y/n] are perfect for each other.

but, in the moment, he would rather keep the weasley boy away, if it would make his best friend's pain lessen.

though, deep down, he knows that it isn't fred's fault. he doesn't know the truth — he's just as oblivious as angelina.

although [y/n] doesn't look up for a second, she knows she has to talk to fred eventually.

so, with a deep breath, she lifts her head up, looking up at the tall weasley twin as she quickly wipes away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

"it's okay, ced. it's not his fault." she croaks out, her throat completely dry and sore from crying so hard.

"are you sure, sweetheart? you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." cedric states seriously, rubbing his hand up and down one of her arms to further comfort her.

fred catches both the touch and the pet-name and something in him snaps; his jaw clenches and his eyes are lit with both irritation and jealousy. "mate, i'm sure she can speak for herself."

cedric snaps his head in fred's direction, his protective instincts kicking in. "i—"

before he can snap back at fred's angrily-hissed response, both cho and [y/n] abruptly stand up.

"enough!" [y/n] whispers in frustration as cho goes to walk over to her boyfriend, lacing their fingers together and gripping one of his arms gently, in order to keep him from getting into an unnecessary fight with his best friend's best friend.

both fred and cedric's angry looks falter and turn into ones of shock and bewilderment.

cedric quickly calms down as his girlfriend's physical touch eases his anger towards fred, while fred's eyes soften at the obvious pain in [y/n]'s eyes, even as she tries to stay strong in the moment.

despite how much she's been crying about angelina and fred, she steps forward, keeping a strong expression on her face and keeping a safe distance between her and fred.

"both of you enough with the yelling! you're both going to get us in trouble if you keep yelling like that." she whisper-yells before she turns away from fred to face cedric and cho.

"cedric, i appreciate how much you're worried and want to protect me, but i don't need protecting from fred — i can take care of myself," she states.

then, she turns to face fred, who smirks at cedric in response to him getting shut down. "yeah, mate. walk away." he says cockily, still under the impression that there's something between him and [y/n], causing him to be in this reckless state of mind.

this causes cedric's eyes to spark with irritation as he attempts to walk over to him in anger.

though, cho holds him back, murmuring to him to calm down.

"cedric, stop! he's trying to get a rise out of you." she states, becoming slightly angry at the behavior that the two boys are displaying.

"cho, would you please get him out of here? i'm fine, i promise." [y/n] reassures the girl stood beside her boyfriend, who nods in agreement.

"and you! stop being an arse! bloody hell! i don't know where the merlin you're getting this attitude from, but don't take it out on cedric, when he's only trying to be there for me and support me!" she exclaims quietly at fred as cho and cedric begin to walk past them.

though, as they pass fred, cedric stops to mutter something to him in a voice of utter protective instincts for his best friend in the entire world, "don't hurt her or you'll live to regret it!"

fred laughs cockily, once more. "i'd like to see that happen!"

with an annoyed sigh, [y/n] turns to face fred, glaring at him.

cedric, wanting to not to piss off her more than he already has, decides to simply glare at fred, before following cho down the hall and back to the gryffindor's common room.

george steps forward, shoving fred forward a bit, before nodding to the direction that both cho and cedric went off in. "i'm going to leave you kids to yourselves," he states as [y/n] nods gratefully, before he leans in to his brother's ear and whispers, "don't screw this up, brother!"

then, he's off, walking down the hall.

once it's just the two of them, fred clears his throat. he gives her that signature charming smirk of his.

though, she rolls her eyes at him — she's obviously still quite angry with him for his behavior.

"you know, i don't really appreciate you treating cedric like that. he was being protective — he didn't deserve that," she states in a strained voice, trying to ignore the part of her that wants to fall for his tricks and charms. "and i don't appreciate the way you were acting! what in the hell is going on with you?"

fred only rolls his eyes in response. "i was quite wondering the same thing about you, sweetheart," he states, ignoring the angry look in her eyes when he steps forward. "why've you been shutting me out, love? is it because of... diggory?"

"seriously? are you mad? you're not going to even acknowledge how terrible you were just acting towards one of my best friends? instead, you're questioning me with cedric — for what exactly?"

"do you have feelings for him or something? because if you do, i'd rather you just tell me, instead of leaving me confused!" he exclaims, almost angrily as he tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.

"merlin! fred, what in the bloody hell makes you think i have feelings for him? he's my friend — and only that! and last time i checked cho's his girlfriend, aka, my friend!" she groans, so unbelievably aghast that he'd think that about her.

"and if you really think that, then you haven't been paying attention!" she whisper-yells, much more angrily than before.

this, however, only frustrates the weasley boy even more. "what does that mean?" he questions, stepping closer to her, causing her to only step away from him.

after noticing this, it's just another thing about her that aggravates him. "and why do you keep putting this... bloody distance between us?"

she only stares at him in utter anger and confusion. how could he have not seen it, this entire time?

don't get her wrong, she knew that if she was hiding it all very discreetly, then it would all make sense.

but, that's just it.

she hadn't been discreet about it — at all.

even the golden trio know about her feelings for fred and they aren't even that close to her at all. george too!

that just proves how idiotic fred has been this entire time.

because even though she'd tried so hard to hide it, it was all too incredibly obvious of how she feels towards the firey, red-headed twin.

he rolls his eyes at her silence. "well, then? go on! pray tell, what have i not been paying attention to?" he questions in a tense voice.

despite being absolutely obsessed with the girl stood in front of him, he can't help but always feel so frustrated with her at times — times like this, to be honest.

she can be incredibly infuriating at times — much like how he's so infuriating to her.

"you know what!" she whisper-yells, not wanting to admit it quite yet, this time not backing away as he steps closer to her to hiss at her, "i apparently bloody don't!"

tears start to blur her vision at the thought of this entire conversation. why couldn't anything just be easy for her, for once?

her breath comes out shaky, fanning his face — that's how close they are to each other now — as that negative voice in her head starts to yell terrible things at her.

she's fighting internally on whether to tell him the truth or not.

if she tells him the truth, it could very well ruin everything — their friendship, the way he sees her, the relationship she has with his family, all of it.

but, she could also easily make up some lie — some bullshit excuse — that she's just too busy with homework and her classes to hang out with him and that she missed him terribly.

she decides on the latter.

"nothing, fred." she gulps, creating some energy to create some more space between them as she turns away from him.

"i've just been busy with some homework and classes have been overbearing — that's what i felt that you hadn't noticed before. i came to the party to see you — i miss you. 's all." she mutters anxiously, hoping he believes her.

although her excuse seems like it'd make perfect sense, fred doesn't buy it for even one moment.

"[y/l/n], you cannot honestly expect me to believe that for even one single moment. what's really going on?" he questions, a bit softer than before.

hearing him call her by her last name shocks her for a mere moment — he only ever uses her last name to address her when he's being incredibly serious.

as she masks her face into one of stoicness, she turns back to face him. "nothing, freddie. everything's fine."

even though he's just begun to get calmer towards her, he once again becomes completely irritated with her, once more, over the fact that she just lied to him.

"don't lie to me, [y/l/n]!" he exclaims in a small whisper.

her facial expression stays the same, hoping that he'll just eventually leave it alone. but, she knows better than that.

"i know something's bothering you! if it was simply just homework, you'd have told me immediately that that's why you haven't been around. it's more than that, isn't it?"

she throws her hands up in mere irritation. "why does it matter? you're happy with angelina, aren't you?"

fred's eyebrows furrow together in confusion. what did she have to do with this?

"why are you bringing her up? what does that have to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me?" he questions her, becoming much more confused when her eyes fill up with tears, once again.

"merlin, fred... you don't get it!" she exclaims, this time not bothering to care about getting caught anymore.

getting caught by one of the professors and getting in trouble with them would surely be a lot better than having this conversation with a very daft fred weasley.

but, as she turns away, finally deciding that leaving might just be better than being forced to have this very uncomfortable conversation, it's as if everything clicks into place.

fred's brown eyes widen as a light goes off in his head. the realization is too big to spare her of the embarrassment she might feel.

"do you love me?" he suddenly asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.

he couldn't be sure if he was right. but, at this point, he couldn't think of another reason why she'd bring up angelina. or why she'd be avoiding him so much.

he realizes now that it's obvious that this whole time she's been hiding something from him. and he knows now that it isn't because she's hiding something normal that she's going through — she always tells him everything, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is.

so, really, the only thing that he can come up with is that she'd be hiding from him is something as complicated as hiding romantic feelings for him.

but, he also feels that that's quite a ridiculous answer to all of his questions.

because... how could someone as extraordinary and beautiful and kind and smart as [y/n] ever care about someone like him in that way?

but, when she suddenly freezes in place, those words making her blood run cold, he knows now that it must be true.

"that's it. isn't it?" he questions once more, waiting for her to face him.

but, she doesn't. she'd rather die or get caught far away from her dorm room by one of the professors, than to have to admit the truth.

"that's why you've been avoiding me and angelina so bloody much!" he exclaims, as if he's finally figured it out.

now that he knows the truth and he's allowed himself to accept it, he swears he feels the feeling of butterflies swarming around his guts.

though, he doesn't get to try to calm himself when he notices the broken expression on [y/n]'s face when she finally turns around to face him.

her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyebrows are pinched together in both frustration and anger.

"say something." he begs when she stays silent.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she glances away. more tears fill her eyes and they quickly spill down to her cheeks before she can stop them. "it doesn't matter... " she shakily trails off, gulping down her pride.

she could still be her stubborn self and refuse to admit the truth. she could even gaslight and manipulate him into thinking he's crazy, to avoid the truth — just like what has been done to her so many times.

but, for one, she refuses to be the person that doesn't break the cycle or the type of person that becomes the problem. and two? even if she could do to someone of what was done to her, she could never, ever do that to fred — the boy she's so incredibly in love with.

and how could she lie when it's already out in the open? deep down, she knew that this was all going to come out and be revealed eventually.

"why's that?" he asks, voice deep and raspy, hoping to get an answer out of her.

she sniffles, shaking her head. "fred, don't... don't make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. i've ruined everything already," she says, voice wavering and trying whatever she can do to keep her emotions in control. "not after what i've just done."

even though fred can be the most clueless, daft boy at hogwarts, even he can sense the guilt radiating off of her. "love..."

before he can try to comfort her, she holds a hand up at him. "no... don't. please... please, don't tell me that this isn't my fault. because it is. i should've just kept my mouth shut. i couldn't just let you and angelina be happy."

he knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "[y/n], what are you talking about? how is this your fault?"

a small cry leaves her lips as she lifts up her hands in the air in frustration. "i never wanted this!" she exclaims, wiping away the tears off of her face.

his eyebrows raise in shock and he jumps a little at her mini outburst.

"i never wanted to fall in love again, okay? every time i've let someone in because i thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different, it's all ended the same — i've just repeated the cycle of heartache and emotional pain over and over again," she starts, trying to ignore the hurt look that's on his face. "i just wanted to push everyone away and never get into a relationship again. but then, i met you."

fred's quiet as he listens to her and does his best to ignore the anguish in her voice.

"it hurt too much to ever think about going back to that pain again — of getting hurt again, or letting someone in and giving them the key to my heart. i couldn't think about doing that without getting sick to my stomach." more tears fill to her eyes, but she pushes through it, knowing that she needs to get this all out, so that he really understands.

i mean, of course he knows. how could he not? he's her actual best friend. but, that doesn't mean that he doesn't really know to the full extent.

"but... even when i've known that falling in love again was wrong for me, i couldn't help it. something about you has always drawn me in and... " she trails off, more tears falling as she shrugs, "i—i don't know. i just can't explain it."

he steps forward, needing to say something to her — anything.

"no, please. don't say anything yet, freddie," he stops short, his heart breaking into a million pieces when he notices the broken look in her eyes. "i know i've ruined everything, okay? i know that. but, i just can't stand the thought of you hating me without understanding why..."

she turns away from him after this, too scared of his reaction.

"love..." fred trails off, suddenly in front of her as he lifts her chin up.

[y/n] is startled when she notices the soft and gentle look in his eyes — not a single negative emotion on his face or in his eyes.

"w—what are you doing?" she asks, confused and extremely emotional.

"proving to you that you can have the happy ending and you deserve it." he murmurs, only confusing her more.

he wipes away the tears on her face as he tucks in a stray hair behind her ear. that lovesick look on his face doesn't disappear as he cups her face in his hands.

"i know it's scary, but we can take this one step at a time. i love you and i'm willing to wait for you." he states, startling her once more.

"w—what?" she stutters, eyes widening.

"it's true — i love you, too."

"you... you promise?" she asks nervously, her heart beating faster than ever.

she gulps when he nods. a small smile takes over her lips as she leans her forehead over his, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.

"okay. let's take it slow then."

[lactoseintolerentswag]

when they've got interpreting spiderman noir under a specific cultural lens at the function [picture of me going insane]

I cant help myself.. what can i say. And since you've mentioned some research going on behind the scenes.. do you have any fun interpretations? Or even anything fun about the 1800s!

OH HI

Hm. I don't have anything as fun as historical dancing, but I suppose this does give me the excuse (thabk u) to blab about Noir's childishness.

(wow putting this under the cut bc it got longer than I thought it would LMAO)

I think what a lot of people (including Noir's contemporary writers and yes even the spiderverse interpretation) fall for when trying to read Noir's character is the imitation of his idea of what an adult is, that he hides behind. Like Noir's persona is incredibly exaggerated. He's playing pretend. Look here, he's practicing.

A lot of his persona as Noir is imitation! Imitation of his uncle, of Urich, of the violence he's been exposed to. He's running around in his uncle's old uniform. Fundamentally misunderstanding WHY his uncle had been ashamed of it and his role in the war.

And then he goes ahead and steals Urich's alias because it sounds Cool (which is such a teenage thing to do jesus christ).

But like that imitation of The Adult isn't something that's limited to that exaggerated persona that Noir encapsulates. Peter himself is trying So Hard to be grown up and tough and responsible that it loops back around to him being a brat who would try the three guys in a trench coat trick. He even gets beat up for it when trying to defend his aunt. And I mean I've posted about him being a brat.

About how he looks at Urich as a Prime Example of what a strong and knowledgeable adult is (which is part of why he reacts so volatile in response to Urich showing he's not exactly as morally righteous as himself, he's wounded and let down). Whiskey? Whiskey sounds like someone Mature and Cool would drink, I'll have it too. And then proceeds to throw his drink at Osborn and laugh about it. The illusion was broken for me then.

But well it's not broken for everyone. I mean like obviously I poked at the contemporary writers, but I'm more talking about the other characters in the narrative. Mainly Urich and Felicia.

Urich taking Peter under his wing isn't entirely under the motivation to nurture Peter. I think it Becomes that, but he's really envious of that kid. He wants to see him lose that hope that he once had (ruh roh the opposite thing happened, being around the kid made YOU more hopeful Ben. Guess you gotta be good. Hope you don't die now).

Urich really is exposing him to an extremely harsh reality, and taking him places where adults are typically only allowed. He's letting Peter get a glimpse into what it's like, which will eventually enable Noir's tool of violence. All these tests will accumulate into what Peter thinks someone powerful and strong can be and do.

Then his problematic relationship with Felicia (writers I'm malleting you for this). He's clinging to her adulthood and the safety she represents, and he's young but she sees some adult strength in him. I mean she trusts him with the blackmail Urich gave her, which she really. Shouldn't, even if that's what Urich wanted.

Anyway, strength is something she's been consistently drawn to her in her partners. Strength to feel as her own. Even if it's to hers and others' detriment. There's also a part of Peter that's drawn to Felicia because Urich was. He's still honing in the good parts of Urich he wants to be.

I think the one person in the narrative who doesn't fall for it? Is Aunt May. You could argue it's just her being naturally motherly, but for someone who was about to be eaten alive she's pretty frank with Noir. I think she can see that that violence and exaggerated grittiness comes from someone inexperienced and young. Even if she can't consciously recognize the similarities between Noir's persona and Peter's protectiveness of her. I don't think she wants to see that. I actually have a short comic script about that, but it probably will never see the light of day.

Ugh he's like a cat puffing up to scare away a predator. It's fake!!!!! It's all fake!!!!!! He gets intimidated by JJ, he never ties his shoes, gets powers and then immediately guns to beat the shit out of Osborn, sings about the sandman when he's getting his face bashed in, crawls to Felicia all pathetic and sad, and he made a costume to run over roofs at night in.

And it's funny how he's forcing himself to grow up, but also really sad because all the things he's being exposed to is already forcing him to grow up. He's witnessing things no kid should ever see or experience.

Then there's the time period to consider. The aftermath of WWI, being in the midst of the Great Depression, and WWII just around the corner. He's faced incredible hardship and is going to continue to face so much hardship, and he's going to mature faster than he ever should have. It should have made him crash and burn Hard when he became an adult, and to me he still does because I'm ignoring everyone after ewaof LMAO.

As for my research on the 1800s NY that's for my own spider iteration run I'm working on, so not too related to Noir until I reach the 30's :3

Hope that was satisfying!!

[celaenaeiln]

I just finished Forever Evil and I think it’s insane how this man who even though is a parallel for Batman is still not Bruce and yet he shares the same codependency to his Dick, just like Bruce is lmao 😂 I’m starting to think that Damian is the only Wayne who have a healthy relationship with Dick, and that’s because it’s Dick himself who mentors & takes care of him 😂

YES YES YES!!!

I'm so glad you noticed!!

Dick isn't just made for Bruce okay, he was made for the Wayne family.

Like this is actually canon!!

Telos - the AI who was the one who used his powers to cause the convergence of the multiverses in Convergence - says this

Convergence Issue #4

"Your Batman. He died protecting you. Or trying to. The bond between you and Bruce Wayne echoes in every reality."

And he's right. Well, almost.

Convergence Issue #4

THOMAS WAYNE LITERALLY WENT FROM "I don't care if you die" to "I'M BLOWING MYSELF UP TO SAVE YOU. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR LAST NAME IS, IT'S WAYNE NOW BISH" in two seconds flat.

Convergence Issue #2

And the thing is Bruce's dad and Dick didn't even know each other until like an hour ago but instantly Thomas Wayne was taken by him.

Ofcourse you have Bruce's brother too who also loves Dick

Justice League (2011) Issue #25

"In another world, you called me the brother you never had. And you were the brother I always hoped for."

Which is a pretty big thing given what he did to Bruce:

Justice League (2011) Issue #25

But does it end there? Is Thomas Wayne Jr's twisted desire to have Dick by his side again the finale of the show? NO BECAUSE IT ISN'T EVEN THE CLIMAX

He murdered Dick's parents just so he could have Dick bond with him. He crossed to a whole another world because he was driven mad with grief at not having Dick by his side

Justice League (2011) Issue #25

You know what this means? If Bruce hadn't reached Dick in time, then Dick would be Talon on Owlman's earth again. His intent here isn't just fixing his earth as he claims to Dick. No, his real intent is the unspoken thoughts in the Owlman text.

But you know what's kinda freaky? Bruce on another world has done the exact same thing as Owlman. Owlman has watched Dick for a long time and then killed Dick's parents. This Bruce Wayne didn't kill Dick's parents but -

The All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder Issue #1

"Yeah, I've had my eye on him for awhile."

Bruce, can you make it sound any creepier and stalkery?

Aside from the general creepiness of observing Dick, they do have the same codependency issues. Now that you bring it up, Thomas Wayne Jr's mental state relied on Dick's happiness and exitence and Bruce's does too -

Detective Comics (2016) Issue #1074

When Bruce gets possessed by a demon, in the safety of his mind, he goes back to two memories he cherishes dearly, two memories where he uses as pillars of strength his dad and the Dick.

When Dick is killed by the monster in his mind, the light in Bruce's head literally goes out. He then goes to the worst place and time in his mind - his parents' death. I seriously cannot overstate the importance of Dick to him.

He and Dick are connected in every universe.

Damian undoubtedly has the healthiest codependency relationship with Dick. Unlike Thomas who died for him, Thomas Wayne Jr who killed for him, Bruce who lives off him, Damian needs him in a way that doesn't drive Dick crazy lol. For now.

In the future if Dick dies though,

Batman (1940) Issue #666

So....

the entire Wayne family's kinda crazy about Dick.

[theunholybastard]

I'm so sorry! The ideas just keep flooding in. A pair of inhuman ghouls of your choosing, on a crisp, rainy evening in October. Fluffy and smutty. 50% 50% on each and the decision on plot or no plot is up to you. Thanks!!

Hey, lovely! 👋 I'm so sorry for the long wait, kinktober took a lot out of me lmao, but I do hope that it was worth it! I had fun writing this one 😈

Rainy Evenings (Dewdrop x Rain Smut)

Tags: Porn With No Plot, Anal Sex, Creampie, Knotting, Light Biting, Gentle Sex, Praise, Fluff And Smut

What could be more relaxing than a nice, chilly afternoon, snuggled up in countless fluffy blankets with another warm body to hold, indulging in sweet treats and watching scary movies in the dark, with the sound of gentle rain pittering against the window in the background? Well, there is one thing that can make the already ideal situation even more pleasant; getting fucked raw.

That's the exact thought Rain and Dew had. As they lay spooning together on the couch, Dew bucked into Rain, a muffled moan spilling from Rains mouth as he bit down on a pillow to silence himself. Some cheesy low budget Halloween movie was playing on the TV, volume turned way down so the only thing they could hear was each others panting and breathless pleas for more. They weren't paying attention to the movie, even before they starting fucking, save for the occasional joke about how shit the acting was. They really didn't mind being lost on the plot.

Dew was fucking him quite gently for a change. He had previously had his way with the other Ghoul the night before, his poor little ass bruised and banged up, and Dew wasn't aiming to hurt his already sore hole even further tonight. He wanted to make him feel good, more pleasure than pain. Okay, maybe some light biting was involved, but c'mon, Dew can't help himself when it comes to that. And Rain definitely didn't seem to mind it.

"Fuck, you feel so good, Rainy..." Whispered Dew huskily, moving in and out of Rain agonizingly slow. He laughed deliriously, proceeding with another drawn out thrust. "Remember when you said we were just gonna watch a movie? Funny how quickly you started begging for my cock." Rain yelped at a particularly sharp thrust, a soft 'sorry' escaping Dews lips.

"H-how could I resist? You were g-grinding your dick on me the whole time." Sputtered Rain, eyes rolling back and jaw slack, plump lips parted beautifully. Fuck, Dew should've fucked that pretty mouth first. Well, too late now.

"Heh, I know. I just thought you'd make it through at least half of the movie before cracking." Dew snorted, speeding up the pace a little bit. He tried to be as gentle as he could, he really did, but how could he keep it up when Rain looks this damn good? All spread out for him, pale collarbone littered with small puncture wounds from Dews eager fangs. Absolutely fucking irresistible.

"Lucifer, that movie's so fucking boring anyways- ah, fuck! A-and your cock is so much better..." Rain mewled, his moans and whimpers growing louder and more desperate sounding as Dew sped up. "Hell, you f-feel so good, Dew. You're so big..."

"S-shit. Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Fuck! Stop talking to me like that. You're gonna make me cum."

"Oh?" Rain smirked playfully. "Y-you don't wanna hear me talk about how good you make me feel? H-how much I love your cock stretching me out? How badly I want your knot inside me?" His words were filthy, egging on the already dangerously close Dewdrop to cross the finish line. He never had much patience, much restraint. He was going insane, and Rain knew that.

"Rain!" Dew gruffed in aggravation, tail coming down on Rains ass like a whip, warning him; silence or else. He can't cum this early, he just can't. That would be so goddamn embarrassing.

"I love you so much, Dew."

"Oh, fuck!" That was all he needed to send him tumbling over the edge, spilling inside of Rain with a deep growl, his knot popping inside and stretching Rain even further. The feeling of Dews knot filling him up, so big and wide to the point it's almost too intense, is enough to make Rain cum on the spot, coating the couch cushions in his spend. They can figure how to get that stain out later. Right now, all they can focus on is the immaculate bliss.

They were at the end of the movie now, the credits slowly beginning to roll, and they were more than satisfied with that conclusion. Dew is still deeply buried inside Rain, spooning and kissing tenderly, softly giggling and feeding each other the last bits of popcorn as they waited for Dews knot to go down.

There is nothing on this earth better, nobody they'd rather be with, and no place they'd rather be.

-

[shepherds-of-haven]

hey, this is the anon who sent in the ask about loving the idea of a red - mc - briony triangle lol! you asked what i'm intrigued by so here it is (sorry if i'm butchering your characters with this, maybe it only works with my own mc and the vibes in my head)

it's a couple different things. first, i feel like the safety of that relationship would be unbelievable. the trust and genuine love would be insane. red and briony are both such compassionate and empathetic people and in that triad any one of them would have a soft place to land with the other two. so many steadying conversations and so much quiet comfort when it's needed, distractions (especially from briony lol) from difficult feelings or situations when it's needed. just the idea that, as fun and lighthearted as that relationship would be, there's always that undercurrent of deep deep understanding and unconditional space held. yeah

and god that relationship just seems like it Would be so fun and they would all so obviously adore each other....it could get to the point of being almost annoying for the other shepherds if it wasn't also so sweet lol. can't imagine them trying to rub it in anyone's faces at all but it would be SO heartbreaking for all those secret admirers to watch briony light up at the sight of red or mc and go bounding off to them across the courtyard, or to hear the way red can't seem to finish an entire thought out loud without managing to work some aside about one or both of mc and briony into it. (feeling like the relationship gets completely outed when a recruit heading down to the kitchens for a snack in the early morning catches briony and red coming out of mc's room. at the same time.)

i also think i just love the sort of natural push and pull that relationship would probably have to involve??? you've got briony there as a force for justice and assertiveness when it's necessary, when red tries valiantly to make conversation work in a situation where it simply won't, or when mc allows an insult to slide for the sake of maintaining professionalism. but red (and mc, depending on who exactly they are lmao) would also be able to curb the worst excesses of that and make sure she doesn't tip over into recklessness. and then briony and mc could immediately help pump the brakes on the more self-destructive tendencies red has, especially when it comes to his research- there are two people there who are perceptive enough to know whether or not he's eating, who can persuade him to come to bed instead of falling asleep at his desk (and who put blankets over his shoulders and pillows under his head on the nights he doesn't quite make it there). and of course, bigger picture, briony and mc (at least mien lol) would be knowledagble enough about magic and concerned enough about red's experiments w the worldwalkers to keep an eye out and who would notice, intervene, and have a serious conversation with him if his drive started to go down a dark or dangerous path. mc's trickier lol but at least in my little world with my mc, he really trusts both of them with some of his most private thoughts re: his fear of what's coming and his worries about failure, letting everyone down up to and including the gods, his past, etc.- they're people who are steadfastly loyal, and for mcs who would need space to talk about their anxieties they seem like they would be so safe, willing to challenge things that don't sound right or border on self-sacrificial but also gentle when they do it....i just think they would all bring out the best in each other, while also helping each other avoid the pitfalls of the most passionate (but consuming) parts of themselves. the stuff that's good in moderation but can get scary when it's too far

i could actually write a dissertation on this lmao i started typing and just kept realizing i had more to say. thank you SO SO MUCH for characters that are this fascinating and fun to imagine lol, i hope this wasn’t too much!!

Ahhhh thanks so much for sharing!!! I absolutely love reading thoughts like this, I think you're absolutely spot on with the characters and how a poly relationship between them would go! :) This was lovely, thanks so much for the fun read! 💖

[blood-mocha-latte]

please talk to us about joe toye. and if you do sound like an insane person, even better lmao

NONNIE it took me too long to respond and i apologize. i deeply hope you're still Here <3

BUT. toye. god. my lord. i talked about parts of him and the miniseries here, which is me also being Very Normal, but as far as other stuff. ohoho. ohohohohohoho

this got a way from me a bit, so it's under the cut, but it's basically just a couple of tidbits from books and some sparse thoughts that i could put. succinctly lol. <33

malarkey's book Easy Company Soldier has some wonderful things on him/who he was and i'm. sooo normal about it. i'd say one of my favorite segments is this:

Take Toye, his arm looking like a skinned deer after that Normandy jump. Shrapnel in Holland. Now wounded here in Bastogne. You couldn't keep the guy down. And it wasn't as if he had anything to prove; every man in Easy Company respected Joe Toye for his toughness. But, remembering back to that night at the Regent Palace when I found Joe on the roof of that atrium, maybe what drove him so hard physically was the need to make up for not being, in his own mind, as "eloquent" as some of the other guys... and not that it was his fault. Hell, your dad sends you to the coal mines when you're fifteen and you're not going to be Shakespeare, it's that simple.

like. OKAY so i'm not going to be tooo unhinged in this because i feel this should have a more Normal tone to it but i have. a lot of feelings about this lmao. malarkey has a few sections on toye that are, in general, akin to wanting to gnaw your own arm off, and it's very worth the read.

guarnere and heffrons book, Brothers in Battle, Best of Friends also has a few pieces on him (this one is from heffron):

The next day, Joe Toye came back from the aid station with a sling on his arm. Winters told him to go back, but he wouldn't. Now HE was a hero. He had his ticket out, but he wouldn't leave the men. No matter how bad he got hurt, he just kept at it. A hell of a soldier. I had the utmost respect for him. He thanked me once for carrying him back to the aid station in Holland the day Campbell was killed, and it was one of the greatest compliments I ever got, because it came from Joe Toye, one of the greatest soldiers I ever knew.

like. god. godddddd. full disclosure i don't know how to meta this without getting dramatic and/or writing an entire damn piece on him, but. yeah. joe toye. him. have some screencaps of him in the miniseries for i have ran out of words

[its-a-me-mango]

I saw your post about art fight (and by the way congrats and I'm impressed by the amount of pieces you've done) and you mentioned drawing furries. I kind of never did but I want to learn, do you have any tips on drawing furries?

Hi yeah my advice is to have an older brother tell you what furries are at the age of 8 and then get completely obsessed with drawing anthropomorphic characters until the age of 18, so if you missed out on that I'm sorry. /j

Anyway, my actual advice is to get used to drawing animals in general. If you already know how to draw humans then you've already done most of the work when it comes to furries, if not thats ok you can learn as you go! I always recommend looking at other peoples work that you look up to and seeing how they do it. Learning to look and pick out shapes and features is always my best advice, it's something you learn to do as you grow but being able to pick out characteristics, shapes and all sorts of what you're looking at will massively help with your work, never be afraid to look up reference!

Simply taking the time to understand how to draw some animals can help set you up for drawing furries, you don't have to learn every single animal right off the bat, just the ones you're interested in to start off with. Once you know how to draw one or two, all the other species should become much easier to learn, or if you just wanna stick with the one species that's fine too, whatever you're happiest doing!

For example, say you wanna draw dog furries, thats fair dogs are cool! I like border collies so I'm focusing on them, look at these guys they're so fluffyyyy

Right away you can pick out some key features, the pointy ears, the medium length snout, the long fur (especially around the neck), the markings, the fluffy tail, these are all key things that make up our awesome collie dog, taking the time to practice these traits first will help you later on for drawing furries, you can practice as you go if you want but if you're starting with nothing, go basic!

Once you're comfortable with drawing animals, putting those traits onto a human shouldn't be as daunting, head goes where the head is, tail goes at the end of the spine, and fur goes all over! Obviously there are so many ways to draw furries but I'm trying to be basic to start off with! Practising with putting human emotions/traits onto animals will help a lot to refine what you're doing, your first attempts won't be pretty so don't worry about trying to make them so, they're for practice after all!

Using this as my excuse to draw my border collie SMG4 inspired OC, come look at Jay he sucks so bad, you'll never guess who he's inspired by. Again learning to mix human emotions and put them onto cartoon animal heads is hard to learn but I promise it's possible and great fun once you know how!

There's no one set of rules for furries, it's whatever you feel works best! Add and take away whatever you want, maybe you want them blue and green with horns and wings, that's totally fine! Get as creative as you want and don't be afraid to go wild, furries aren't real after all, you can do anything you want!

Furries are so expressive and unique, it's one of the many reasons I love drawing them! You can get so much diversity and variation with their design and characters, they can be as realistic or as cartoony as you want! It's always important to have fun with what you're drawing and to be okay with making mistakes, you're not going to get it first try so might as well have fun getting to a point you're happy with!

Hope my insane ramblings helped somewhat, I never know if these actually help because my advice is always just "look at reference and say "fuck it we ballin" untill it looks right", I can't teach that to anyone I have to sound like I know what I'm doing lmao

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

Fanfic writer interview

Thanks for the tag, @niennawept!! (& answering under this blog since the VAST majority of my fic is Adar-related)

How many works do you have on AO3? 14, which feels insane to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 202,906, which again... feels insane. I'm pretty sure Adar is to blame for like, 195,000 of those words.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Awake, Arise or Be For Ever Fall'n: My longest work, Adar's life story from his awakening at Cuivienen to the Battle of the Last Alliance. (Written and completed pre-S2, so his story after Orodruin erupts is, um, different than in the show canon. So technically it's a fix-it fic.)

sister golden hair: The Adar x Mirdania fic that I NEVER expected to write. This started as a ONE-SHOT and then exploded into an angst-riddled tale of accidental necromancy and Tolkienian zombies. Deus ex Mirdania!!!!

Son of the Darkness: The one-shot that started it all. The moment that my brain became fully unhinged. The original one-shot sketch of Adar's life story.

memories of dancing: A fic I wrote when I lost my mind temporarily pre-siege of Eregion episode premiere and decided to entertain the crack idea that Adar = Celeborn. No regrets.

Blood on My Name: Awwww... a throwback to the days when Kastle (Karen Page x Frank Castle from The Punisher) had taken over my brain. A little AU where a badly wounded Frank shows up at Karen's door in the middle of the night. Midnight MacGyver surgery FTW!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try! I have not been historically the best at this, partly because for awhile I didn't realize that that was what you were supposed to do. >.< Also sometimes I type responses out and my brain tricks me into thinking that I sound way too dumb so I abort mission. But I've been trying to be much better about it because yes, fandom should be a conversation and I'm so grateful for every comment I get!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? LMAO TAKE YOUR PICK, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE PAIN TRAIN. Honestly, though, I guess it depends on your definition of pain. I think Awake, Arise ended on a hopeful/Tolkienian note, so I actually wouldn't say that one. I think it might be "what law can lovers move," which was a little lyrical Turgon x Elenwe oneshot that I did, inspired by Orpheus and Euryidice. Those two hurt me so good.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Mmmmm... I think "in the halls of awaiting," a companion ficlet to Awake, Arise from the POV of Erenyë, Adar's spouse in my canon, as she waits for him in the halls of Mandos. It was SUCH an angsty fic to write, but their reunion made it all better. That said, I DON'T REALLY DO OVERTLY HAPPY ENDINGS, SORRY.

Do you write crossovers? Nope.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I don't think so.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I DIDN'T, AND THEN ADAR X ERENYE TOOK OVER MY BRAIN. "A Knife in the Dark" is the AU smutfest of Awake, Arise and I like to say that it's what happens when you don't let your characters fuck each other enough in the longfic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Let's hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... writing is kind of a solitary endeavor for me. I'd entertain editing, but probably not co-writing.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I'm staring at this question going "why can I not think of an answer for this"? I mean this feels so self-promotional/self-indulgent to say, but I'm high-key obsessed with my OC Erenyë and I've definitely dedicated the most brain space to shipping her and Adar over the past two years. Turgon and Elenwe also have OTP status in my brain, as well as Kastle and SANSAN.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Mmmmm... I think maybe "Tides of Fate Onward Run"? I started this something like TEN YEARS AGO, and the basic idea was to tell the story of Gollum and his corruption by the ring through the POV of Nienna. It was a neat little exploration and I had intended it to be a way to explore a lot of the Valar headcanons I have. Maybe one day I'll get back to it...

What are your writing strengths? Mmm... I think maybe my canon adherence? For the most part that is my sweet spot with fic-- I like to craft stories that can fit very snugly into exisiting canon with few deviations. Especially with Awake, Arise, I wanted Adar's story to feel like it could have slipped right out of Tolkiens Silmarillion canon.

What are your writing weaknesses? Ugh I think sometimes I can slip into passive voice and I hate that. Also sometimes I feel like my descriptions are just way too flat and I can fall into "telling instead of showing."

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? The only other languages I really use are Tolkien's... and I'm for it!

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? Mmmm... well technically I have written for this ship, but I've never published publicly... and may never. It's Lalwen x Fingolfin. It's wrong. It's scandalous. It's a mess of feelings. There's extensive Helcaraxë angst/trauma involved. Don't @ me, they are so compelling to me. I'M UNREPENTANT, LOOK AWAY.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Awake, Arise! I'm so goddamned proud of that fic. I'd never actually completed anything novel length (fic-wise or original) before I wrote that fic. So that was a big deal for me to do as a writer. And I really felt like I told a damn story.

ANYWAY tagging @brynnmclean, @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @mylovelylittleobsessions @clumsycopy and anyone else who wants to play!!!

[nametakensff]

Suggestible (D/isco E/lysium, M/M)

The first fic of a few I have for these two because I am deeep into this shit now lol. Ended up at 4K!

H/arry, whilst working on the murder case in M/artinaise and ever so slowly piecing his identity together, notices an interesting reaction in K/im to his budding cold. I guess the first part of a series that will become increasingly NSFW, but for now mostly just alluding to it!

Based on an insane little piece of dialogue in the game where K/im suggests that other people sneezing makes him sneeze

~~~~~~

Content:

Future/hinted M/M, cold sneezes, sympathetic sneezes, H/arry has a latent sneezing fetish that he doesn't remember having yet, spray, stifles, sneezing into handkerchiefs, slight elements of voyeurism but only because H/arry is a confused mess lmao

CW: lots of drug and alcohol mentions, lots of self-hatred

NB - I guess please don't read if you plan on playing the game and want to go in with no prior knowledge - it doesn't really have any plot heavy spoilers but takes place within the story

(also also - decided to write this in 2nd person narrative to somewhat resemble the style of game play - it's not perfect but it was fun to try haha)

Minors DNI please!

Lieutenant Kitsuragi trails behind you as you jog your way across the empty boardwalk and towards the fishing village. The air is piercing and bitterly cold – you are starting to feel the effects of it as the salty air whips against your face. It has been snowing on and off for hours, and you are woefully underdressed. This has not been a good day for you – few new leads, endless dead ends. And a hangover. The hangover to end all hangovers. Not even the frigid winter weather can distract you from the dull thud of a lingering headache, painful pulses beating in time with your heart. It feels as though your brain is too swollen – or your skull is too tight.

Suddenly, you feel it – the familiar, fluttering sensation of a building sneeze. You have been a little under the weather ever since you awoke in your hotel room several days earlier, having no recollection of who you are and woefully bereft of substances to abuse. You had put any subsequent discomfort down to just that – the miserable lack of alcohol, nicotine and narcotics in your system. This tickle, however – it is something all of its own. You stop dead in your tracks, practically skidding to a stop as it crests. You have no hope of holding back the encroaching sneeze. Your mouth hangs open, a great yawn of irritation, before – at last – release.

It comes out sounding more like a desperate shriek than anything else; a few startled seagulls scatter, flying away in a maelstrom of confusion and feathers. You didn’t mean to cause such a scene, but the cold air, the breeze, and now the beginning of a miserable cold – it all proves too much for you. You take in another shuddering gasp before you’ve even recovered from the previous explosion and do it all over again.

“HAAAEEEIISHHHHhhh!!!”

There are no seagulls left to scatter this time, but you hardly notice for the way this sneeze, even more violent than the one before it, sends you flying forward and staggering on your feet. You manage to catch yourself before you fall face down on the sandy ground, panting slightly in the aftermath. It practically tore itself out of you, leaving your throat more than a little hoarse. Perhaps a drink would be just the thing to remedy your misery…

You’re shaken out of your alcoholic deliberation by a familiar, soft voice. Lieutenant Kitsuragi is resting a gentle, gloved hand on your shoulder, hovering next to your crouched form. His voice is as placid as always, but you can’t help but notice a slight hint of concern. You right yourself immediately and snuffle at the mess that’s threatening to overflow from your nose, already a bright shade of red from years of alcohol abuse and the biting cold of the beach.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor?”

The Lieutenant notices the thickness of the sound, a barely perceptible look of displeasure passing over his face. You see him reach into his pockets and pull out a large handkerchief – the very same you have seen him use before to cover his face as you performed a field autopsy together. He proffers it to you and you hesitate for just a moment - then your nose starts to run into your moustache. This prompts you to take it from him and snuffle into it apologetically. You realise this pathetic sniffling will do nothing to stem the flow – you surrender and blow your nose with as much conviction as you possibly can. The sound of it is devastatingly loud, almost as disruptive as the sneezes preceding it. You glance at Kim sheepishly from behind the material. If it’s as disgusting to Lieutenant Kitsuragi as it sounded to you, he doesn’t so much as flinch.

When you’re finished, you offer the soiled fabric back to him with an outstretched hand. He looks at it with mild dismay.

“You keep that, officer. I carry a spare with me at all times.”

Stupid. That was stupid of you. Why would you hand him a snot rag? You dismiss the thought before the negativity drags you down further into the already miserable grips of your hangover. But for whatever reason, you keep note of this new information regarding the handkerchiefs. It’s not as though this is out of the ordinary for Kim. He’s so organised and focused – a great cop. Not like you. Of course he would carry a spare. Moving on, you ask the lieutenant for his opinion of what you ought to do next.

“Hm…We should return to the Whirling-In-Rags. Try Klaasje again and see if she’s ready to discuss the murder in more detail.”

It sounds like a perfect idea to you. The wind is fiercely cold and you never did get round to buying a windbreaker. Your hangover is making it impossible to tell if the major discomfort you’re feeling is from the alcohol dissipating within your husk of a body, or the virus threatening to take hold of your sinuses. Either way, getting out of the cold is imperative.

You approach the vicinity of the Whirling-In-Rags Hostel – at last. Your chest burns. Normally, a brisk jog is nothing to you – if anything, it energises your ailing body after a particularly lengthy binge. But today, you feel miserably worn out. You pause for a moment, look towards the Lieutenant, and attempt to speak. You fail, nothing but a series of wheezing gasps issuing from between your lips, followed by an increasingly hacking cough. You buckle over your knees and continue to hack like the washed-up middle-aged man you know you are. Kim places a hand on your back - he seems worried.

“This isn’t good. You’re unwell, detective. Perhaps you should rest a while in your room?”

Something tells you this isn’t a suggestion exclusively for your own benefit. A perfunctory glance tells you that Lieutenant Kitsuragi is tired, and as miserably cold as you. He wouldn’t mind a break inside a warm building, thawing out over a cup of coffee. Nevertheless, you feel disappointment blooming in your chest. As if you weren’t already a pathetic excuse of a policeman - missing memory, decked head to toe in questionable clothes and with a penchant for drug and drink on the clock – you’re now so weak you can’t even handle a mild case of rhinovirus. Pathetic.

You stand upright in an attempt to signal that you are and always have been a perfect beacon of health. You tell the Lieutenant that time is of the essence; you’ve been working on this case for days and have no time for further setbacks. He acknowledges this with a small nod; he seems to appreciate this professional, business-like approach to the matter. He doesn’t say anything more but merely walks beside you as you stride towards the Whirling-In-Rags.

You barely manage to take a few steps before the tickle is upon you again. You tense your jaw and attempt to quell the sensation by taking in shallow, measured breaths, but no dice. In seconds, it tears its way out of you as before, echoing off the walls of the nearby buildings. It is so loud that you wonder if the scabs protesting outside of the Union can hear it over the sounds of their own angry chants. Again, you stumble forward under the force of it, feeling light-headed.

The Lieutenant reaches out to grip your shoulder, steadying you just in time. You wait and sniffle miserably in preparation for the following sneeze, lingering in the depths of your sinuses, but it never comes. You straighten up, blinking tears of effort from your tired eyes, when you become aware of a certain sensation. Kim’s hand squeezes your shoulder with a sudden flex. Could this be a gesture of affection? Reassurance? This is not the Lieutenant’s regular style. He is far too cool for that kind of thing.

You look over your shoulder in curiosity as the Lieutenant continues his grip, despite your having collected yourself. You can see that behind the lenses of his glasses, his eyes are unfocused and heavy-lidded. His mouth hangs slightly open, and he is holding a fist – expectantly? – before his face. The expression is…familiar. You’d seen it before, though not on Lieutenant Kitsuragi.

As you furrow your brow in deep consideration, reaching for an explanation that only just manages to elude you, slight movement from Kim pulls you out of your thoughts. You watch as his head tilts back, stays there for a just a moment before he’s jerking forward into his gloved fist, pressing it against his nose and mouth. His features contract severely, moulding his ordinarily placid face into a twisted, almost angry and unrecognisable countenance. You feel his fingers flex again. His entire body shudders, and as it does so, you hear him utter a tiny sound.

“-hHdt’!”

You blink, still not putting two and two together. Maybe this amnesia was worse than you had initially assumed it to be. Was he – seizing? No. Of course not. You continue to watch in confusion as he seems to uncrumple with a gentle exhalation. You think he might be done, but no. Just as quickly as one breath is exhaled, a replacement is sucked back in hurriedly. You watch as he repeats the action, ducking forward into his fist again, more forcefully this time. His shoulders jump with the effort and his hand squeezes substantially harder against you.

“h’Ngxt-!! hh…”

That strange sound again – this time followed by an uncharacteristically shaky exhale.  A moment later the Lieutenant straightens up and assumes his regular composure, releasing your shoulder as if nothing just happened. If you hadn’t watched this series of events unfold right in front of you, you’re sure you would have missed it altogether. He blinks several times as if to clear away tears. Still you have no idea what the fuck just happened – any remnants of the pained expression that cinched his features tight has vanished, leaving him to look as calm and collected as before. You stare at him, eyes roving over his face. This intrusive observation gives you the last bit of information you need to understand. His nostrils flare delicately as he indulges in a sniffle, moisture gathering around the irritated rims and glittering ever so slightly in the afternoon sunlight.

Had those been…sneezes? Those tiny little swallows of air?! You feel a grin spread across your face, any discomfort of your own forgotten for the moment. You bless him enthusiastically. Ignoring the inkling that tells you not to tease or cajole him, you also comment on how adorable the Lieutenant’s sneezes are. Like a kitten. A badass cop kitten.

He thanks you somewhat reluctantly, blatantly ignoring the kitten comment. He clearly wants you to move on from him and focus again on the case. You continue to make your way towards Whirling-In-Rags, but don’t miss out of the corner of your eye the sight of the Lieutenant covertly pinching his nostrils shut, before pulling down towards his septum. He is wiping the resultant moisture of those sneezes away with his gloved fingers. This realisation makes your heartbeat spike for just a moment. You choose to ignore this.

You walk into the establishment – the increasingly familiar sounds and sights greet you as you pass through the door. The Hardie boys are in their booths, an unwelcome fixture. You glance sidelong at them – Titus glares daggers back at you. You think you should puff up your chest and stare him down in a battle of warring machismo, but at last minute think otherwise. It would do nothing to repair your already abysmal lack of authority if you sneezed at him mid stand-off. You glance away. He smirks, arms crossed firmly over his broad chest, clearly enjoying this silent display of dominance. You get an all-consuming urge to spin around and put him in his place – but you feel shitty. Much too shitty. It would probably end with his fist in your face.

You approach the staircase leading to the bedrooms when you feel that familiar, irritating tickle blossoming anew in your sinuses. Not again, not here! Not in a busy room full of so many people. You want to maintain your cool cop image – sneezing is not a cool thing to do. You briefly think to yourself that Kim is cool, even when he sneezes - but it is a foolish thought. You’re not him. You fight to suppress the gasp that fills your lungs, fumbling in your jacket pocket for the handkerchief the lieutenant had given you – but you’re too late. Two huge sneezes rocket out of you, sending veritable clouds of spray across the base of the staircase. They practically break the sound barrier, two near identical “IIIIEEEESHHHHhhtt!!!” screams of irritation. Kim doesn’t steady you this time – you reach out and do that yourself with the help of the banister.

Jeers erupt from the Hardie boys across the cafeteria floor – you only just manage to hold back an embarrassed blush from creeping over your weary face. You have finally managed to extract the handkerchief from your pocket. You decide a honking performance will do very little to remedy this utter humiliation, dabbing softly at your aching nose instead. You begin to climb the stairs; a sordid walk of shame.

“That’s just what this establishment needs, following the hanging, bloated corpse – a biohazardous drunk anointing his plague unto us all.”

That snark came from Garte – the bartender. No, the Cafeteria Manager.

“Just ignore him.” Kim mutters close to your ear. You proceed to flip the bird at Garte instead. As you make your way upstairs, you swear you can hear a tiny gasp from behind you. Without the sensation of a hand gripping your shoulder and signalling the completion of a sneeze, you have to strain your ears to even confirm they happen at all.

“’Ngxt’ch! h’ddt’! Hh’Ggkt!!”

Those are definitely sneezes. Slightly louder than before, enough that you can hear the Lieutenant’s own soft voice blending in with the strained sound of them. Your stomach is suddenly alive with butterflies. In your mind’s eye you can visualise the way his face crumples with each of them – nostrils flaring outwards as he valiantly bites down against them. You are sure if you try to do the same, your head will explode. Or at the very least, an aneurism is a surefire possibility. You shudder at the thought of it. You want to offer a blessing to the Lieutenant, but based on the previous reception it received, you decide against it. This could be the start of a beautiful partnership – Harry’n’Kim, Du Bois and Kitsuragi. Disco Cop and Cool Cop. You can always brainstorm on your trademark duo name at a later date. Either way, you decide to ignore the Lieutenant’s strangled outburst. A soft exhalation behind you signals that he is finished – for now.

You reach the top of the stairs. With great dismay, you realise that perhaps for the first time in your life, you are experiencing firsthand the effect of all those years of chain smoking. The wheezing gasps bend you over for a moment. Lieutenant Kitsuragi stands nearby, just short of nervously hovering, waiting for you to recover. You finally catch your breath and stride as confidently as you can towards Klaasje’s room. You extend a fist to knock on the door when you feel the soft touch of Kim’s hand on your arm, stopping you in your tracks. This has to be a new record. He has touched you on four separate occasions – all in a span of under thirty minutes.

“Perhaps you should take this opportunity to rest after all, detective.” Kim offers. You sense by the firmness of his voice that this is less of a gentle suggestion and more of a request. He smiles wryly.

“You are not very likely to get her to open up to you if you deafen her with your sneezing.”

Your stomach flips at hearing that word come out of his mouth. It is confusing but not entirely unpleasant. Whilst he doesn’t laugh, you can see the amusement held in the subtle quirking of his lips. You think for a moment that you should tell him your sneezes are the pinnacle of masculinity – ladies dig a huge, manly sneeze. You choose instead to sigh, practically deflating as any will to remain poised upright seeps out of you. You know he’s right. The filthy sheets of your bed beckon to you.

You agree with him and turn heel to your own room. He looks pleased – perhaps a little relieved. How disastrous did he think the interaction would have gone, had you proceeded? He turns to face you as you stand outside your respective doors.

“Don’t worry, detective. I will wake you up in a couple of hours, and we can resume our investigation. There is no point in making yourself ill.”

You nod. You are both about to enter your rooms when you feel it again. The tickle. It is persistent and increasingly difficult to control. You feel a gasp inflating your chest, helpless to do anything other than let the sensation overpower you. There is no time to even lift the handkerchief to your face. You do manage to turn away from the Lieutenant as the sneeze rips through you, baptising your own door with a trembling “aaAAAAEEEEGSHHHHhh!!!” A cloud of spray settles on the wood, droplets of spray shimmering under the harsh lighting. Gross.

“Bless you.”

A blessing. You feel relieved – and slightly giddy. Your stomach flips again. It is likely out of politeness, but the Lieutenant has at least not run for the hills in response to your disgusting display. You start to thank him when – oh, sweet confusion - he interrupts you with another sneeze of his own. He isn’t fast enough to bring a fist to his face this time. You can see every minute twitch of his facial muscles as he suppresses the sneeze through sheer willpower alone.

“Hh’Gnxt!! Huh’NGxtt!!”

The second sneeze follows immediately – his head dips twice in quick succession. That look of desperation suits him just fine, you think. You decide to abandon the thought as quickly as it forms. You are only partially successful in doing so. His hand reaches into the pocket of his trousers – he succeeds in removing the handkerchief in the duration of that second sneeze, you notice in great appreciation. You would never have managed to pull that off.

You watch as he raises the handkerchief before his face for a final sneeze. This one looks more irritable than the ones prior – the expression plastered on his face is openly more agonised than before. He pauses for what is likely only a second longer before the tickle reaches its apex, but that is more than enough time for another thought to cross your mind – one of an entirely salacious nature. You think that the face he is making resembles the sweet agony of another kind of release. You try to unthink it, but it’s too late – you’re absolutely, undeniably thinking it. The second passes. At last, the lieutenant smothers his final sneeze into the waiting folds of the handkerchief. It is considerably louder than before, even with the assistance of the fabric covering.

“hHh’nNGgxtt!!..chu…”

The soft vocal exclamation that rounds off the sneeze sounds weary, like it took a lot out of him. He sniffles briefly into the handkerchief, rubbing at his nose before tucking the cloth back into his pocket. Is it your imagination, or is said appendage starting to look a little reddened from the effort?

“Excuse me.” The Lieutenant mumbles, sounding uncomfortable. Embarrassed, perhaps?

You bless him before you remember to bite your tongue. Luckily, he accepts it with a soft “Thank you.” You watch as he removes his glasses and swipes at a stray tear rolling down his cheek. He replaces them just as quickly, giving you hardly any time to take in the sight of him without the thick frames. It is for a brief moment only, but the word ‘vulnerable’ comes to mind.

It dawns on you quite suddenly that he must be sneezing because you have infected him with your disgusting, no good germs. You ask him if this is the case, unable to hold back the shaking guilt as you voice your question-cum-self-abasement. He waves it off immediately.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing like that, detective, I assure you. I’m fine.” He pauses for a moment, looking hesitant to say more. You say nothing. This awkward silence seems to prompt him to continue.

“Sometimes the power of suggestion is too much for me. When somebody sneezes in my vicinity, I find my body often wanting to do the same. And your sneezes are particularly…” He trails off for a moment, in want of an appropriate term.

Masculine? Sexy? Bad-ass? You go with the first one. He shakes his head gently.

“…Suggestible.” He finishes. You’re not quite sure you catch his drift, but you do recall that he had mentioned something like this before. ‘Dancing makes you dance like sneezing makes you sneeze’. He had said that, in the church – he had been enthusiastic to interject, and then immediately changed the subject. You had had no idea what he had meant at the time – not once had you ever heard anyone say anything even remotely similar. It had been easily forgotten. Until now.

You smirk. You hope it isn’t akin to ‘the expression’, but is happening nonetheless. You cannot help it. This. Is. Gold.

You manage to hold back from laughing, but what you cannot help is calling him adorable. For the second time that day.

“I’m a 43 year old RCM policeman. I am far from adorable, officer.” He states firmly, almost as if he is chiding you. You do not miss, however, the softness in his eyes and the momentary twitching of his lips into a tiny smile. You do laugh at that. Bad idea. The laugh quickly morphs into a painful, wrenching cough. Whatever light-hearted moment you’d been sharing, you have ruined it. Your throat burns with the effort. God, but you want a drink. And a smoke. Maybe some speed. You finish at last, wiping spittle from your lips with the back of your sleeve.

“Please rest, Harry. I will check up on you soon.”

He casts a final worried glance your way before nodding curtly. You watch as the door clicks shut behind him. After a moment, you make your way into your own room, not even bothering to kick off your shoes as you collapse onto the pile of twisted sheets. Far too tired to think about the past that eludes you, about the case, about any of it, your eyes start to slip shut.

But it is back. The tickle. You have no means of fighting it, and you’re not sure you want to. You sneeze, smothering it into your sheets at the last second.

“HHHRRMMMPPPSHHHh!!!”

You peer cautiously at the sheets. You have left a considerably large damp patch on the section that covered your mouth and nose. Gross – that should be your middle name. You feel disgusting, but before you can begin another spiral of self-deprecation the exhaustion overwhelms you entirely. A final thought passes through your mind as you surrender to it. Did the Lieutenant hear you?

Next door, settling into the chair at his desk, Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi tenses at the sound of your sneeze. It was loud enough to be heard not only the next room over – indeed, anyone on the second floor may have been startled by it. His breath hitches, once, twice, before he is tipping forward into his gloved hands, steepled around his face. Depleted of energy from the prior onslaughts, he is unable to hold them back at all.

“-hh! Hck’tshuu! Hupt’Tshhht!! ‘TSCHH’uu!! hm...”

He glances in unmasked irritation at the damp speckling of moisture now adorning the palms of his gloves.

“Merde!” He grumbles under his breath. The Lieutenant pulls the gloves from his hands, pausing to scrub at his itchy nostrils with his knuckles for one indulgent moment, before resuming the paperwork he had failed to complete the night before. He hopes, for both your own sake and his, that once he wakes you your sneezing spell will have passed – due to a temporary chill and nothing more. Neither of you have the time for this absurdity. He sniffles once more and begins to write.

[porlatamconlouis]

louis in panamá! louis back in latam!!! louis is back in his spirit home!!!

the crowd was amaaaazing! listen, every louis show i've been to holds a special place in my heart for different reasons. but being in a crowd where everyone around you gives out the same energy, even when they don't fully know some songs, is something i've been craving for a long time now, and it's just the beginning and i'm sooo excited. the venue itself was kinda meh inside, the way they used the space was terrible in my opinion but as a brightside, gaby and i had lots of space to jump and dance and lose our entire minds.

the setlist order change threw us off, but god i love it. the 'chemical' cover... idk how to explain it but the videos i've seen so far (which haven't been many, i'm on wifi most of the time) don't do it one bit of justice. his voice! his voooooooice! that's all i kept saying throughout the song. because i didn't know the song, and the arrangement was so punk that i thought it was a song from an early 2000s pop punk band that i wasn't recognizing. but duuuude, his voice. i hope we get a good version, because that boi whined away with his whole chest... honestly. and i can't fucking wait to see how more and more comfortable he'll get with the song and more people singing it with him, and just... yeah!

oli, krystle and helen were in the open space where there were no chairs, right in front of us... oli walks to not draw attention to himself, but boi, most of us know you by now. i didn't see anybody coming up to them which was nice. they went to the sound booth for a big chunk of the show. and during ooms krys and helen came back to jump and dance to the side there. i loved seeing them like that!

the happiness we felt when we saw lucia coming down! gaby and i were jumping up and down screaming "lucia! lucia is back! lucia!", hajshajshs. and theeeen, at the end, as i always do if possible, we went to the soundbooth to thank my friends (jdelf, tom and oli c.) for the show, and we thanked them for bringing lucia (the lightbulb) and not leaving her behind, and they were amused (and probably a bit weirded out (they've seen me in the same shirt at least 4 times lmao)) and saying thank you for appreciating them and just yeah. i like to think maybe they already knew her name was lucia, but also, i'm glad someone on the ground straight up told them how fucking appreciated she is. 💚 look at herrrr! (lol)

living all my favorite songs live again was so cathartic. didn't know how much i needed it, wow. also, how are we gonna call that insane set of songs before the encore? my vote is for "rip steve's arms" or "no breathing mix" or "lose your shit time". because going from 505 to bty to kmm to ooms is fucking wild, man. it was absolutely incredible, i think i ascended a little bit and was fully exorcised, thanks.

oh! the kmm lights? soooo good! i know they've been done at all the shows after '22 but like... idk. it felt a bit extra special? and he sensed it as well, he couldn't contain his little smiles. and he gave it a shout out. literally everyone knew they had to do it. so cool!

as a sad note, during sibwawc, the lights from the stage weren't really colourful, they just kinda went from orange to white from what i remember. gaby and i waved our flags for the entirety of the megamix (and a bunch of other songs too, hajshajs, duh) and since we were going off the whole time, and not as many people were, he did see us all the way to the back and pointed at where we were and we looked at each other and just kept going. we then corroborated our stories in the hostal, hajdhaj. enjoy the following video as if you were next to us and just jumping around, okay thanks (when you see everyone else jump around that's when he comes to our side).

anyway, i wrote all of this while on the airplane that's gonna take me to puerto rico, which is a bit delayed. oh, and el puma rodríguez is on this flight, lmao. iykyk. some ladies, while boarding, just stood in front of him and took a selfie, eeep. right, here's some carpet photos.

i'm so lucky i get to do this insane adventure, i'm so happy.

(meant to save this in drafts while the video uploaded but guess it got posted instead, hajshajsh. anywaaaay... thanks for the lovely notes, loves.)

[squarebracketsmileyface]

oh lord, your brian likes sweaty tim, too? X_X i once read a fic that had a tidbit where brian was all up in tim's underarm and hinted that brian was into digging into the harder to reach bits of tim (the exact quote is, “always interested in the weirdest parts of him. always hunting down the stuff he tried to hide. too damn curious, too damn observant.") and ever since then my brian's not afraid to kiss/lick/smell any part of tim, no matter how stinky :D i don't know why it's just sweet to me, you CANNOT convince me that brian's not at least moderately obsessed with tim's body lmao

...I thought about going into scent/armpit kink with that post but I thought it might be too weird so... >:]

Yeah... Hi, anyone who thinks I'm a normal person when it comes to sweaty men.... Uhhhhhhh, maybe skip this one I'm letting myself be a little bit of a freak, I could definitely have been worse but eh 💀

Also... Could I... Could I have a link to that fic 👉🏼👈🏼 maybe? If it has scent kink and Brian being obsessed with how Tim's smells and like, him all sweaty and stuff it sounds right up my alley

Brian is so 100% obsessed with Tim's body. Literally no matter what state it's in he's there drooling like a dog over it. Tim's just got in from a hard day's work on a building site in super hot weather? Absolutely drenched in sweat? Then Tim's having to pry him off with a fucking spatula so he can shower the brick and concrete dust off himself before Brian gets his wish of Tim sitting in his lap and letting him shove his face up under his boobs. Because you KNOW that poor man has the worst under boob sweat imaginable, and that Brian wants to fucking drink it.

I think Brian would like Tim sitting on his lap, especially in summer, purely because he hopes he'll be able to shove his face against Tim's back or chest or wherever the fuck and just sniff. He's such a little weirdo when there's no one around to see. He just adores how he smells. And I think he'd be a little embarrassed about it, because sure everyone's like, "god that guy's so hot look his sweaty he is" but Brian's like "my boyfriend hasn't been able to shower in a few days and works a really physically demanding job, and it's the middle of summer, he's so hot" and then he points to Tim who's sitting there looking at him like he's insane because he feels more oil than man. Y'know?

Tim's supportive, but he's also just like.... Dude, wtf is wrong with you?

Y'know?

Like, Brian loves summer purely because it means Tim's more sweaty more often.

Brian will complain and whine if Tim insists on having a shower after a long day before he lets Brian bury his face in his pubes, y'know?

And god fucking forbid Tim shaves his body hair. I like to think he did it, like, once, just because why not, he kinda wanted to see what It would look like (he HATED the feeling of it all growing back in and catching on his clothes, he never did it again), and Brian was fucking distraught, he acted like Tim murdered someone (...someone except Alex 💀 but shush you know what I mean)

Brian's such a little freak with it sometimes. And he can be normal if he wants to, but he doesn't want to. He wants to hide Tim's deodorant. He wants to ask Tim to do yard work after a long day's work purely so he can reap the reward of sweaty, smelly Tim afterwards.

Like, you know that thing where it's like "if someone has the opposite immune system to you their body odor won't really smell bad to you?" Thing or whatever it is, like, I have no clue if it's true but Brian 100% believes it is because how the fuck else can you explain his obsession with Tim smelling like nothing but himself? Y'know? Like, to him even the worst most sweaty most body odour-y day Tim can have is the best day ever because he gets to smell him. He doesn't want Tim to own let alone use scented soaps, he wants just Tim.

Sensory seeking Brian, specifically with his sense of smell. He needs things to smell strongly, especially things he loves. And Tim is unsurprisingly a thing he loves, y'know?

To me it's sweet and something I love in characters because throughout my entire childhood and teen years I was constantly told how disgusting I smelled (while also being belittled for wearing deodorant and putting deodorant on wrong, by the same person who constantly told me I stank??? (don't fucking ask me how I was doing it wrong, I don't know I was putting it in my damn armpits all day every day like everyone else)) so seeing characters who look at their partner all gross and a bit grimy with greasy hair and BO and acne break outs under their boobs and on their backs because it's been so fucking hot that their skin just can't handle the oils and sweat and stuff is always really special to me. Like, hey, this character feels all gross and like they need to shower seven times a day just to stay not slimy all over, and their partner is fucking obsessed with that, they don't hate them for it, they actually find it hot. It's just special. Like, oh look, not everyone's a dick, this character found someone who loves them no matter the state of personal hygiene upkeep they're in, y'know?

[electricdissonance]

50 Follower Electric Dissonance Q&A!

thanks to all who sent in asks!! grab some popcorn and i hope you enjoy!! :]

I'm not sure! There are definitely a handful of major plot points I have planned for you all to work through that will take many months to get through (especially given my work schedule oof). After which, I'd consider the AU technically concluded. I'd love to go beyond just the main stuff, but I don't really have plans for something like an after story yet ^^;

I think the existence of after story fully depends on the kind of relationships with characters and new plot/conflict potential YOU all build using your characters!

idk im a huge fucking furry LMAO

really though, in the earliest Sonny concepts I visualized him in the digital world as this horrifying mess of vengeful teeth and claws. It was the most appealing way to manifest the monstrosity of his character, and at first I tried to create some vague beast-shaped creature and when it ended up looking like a bear, I just rolled with it!!

(he's also a big hairy dudeso like there's that too HAHSDJ)

As for your second question.........

:)

The year is 1997, a year derived from the game's lore which states that Sonny passes away months prior to KinitoPET's scheduled release by the end of 1999. I just subtracted two years since this is an AU that takes place early in KinitoPET's development :>

I'm glad you've been enjoying it!!! <3

IT'S VERY FUN!!! Growing up I loved reading and participating in ask blogs; I never thought in a million years I'd be behind one :) one of the most rewarding aspects has got to be watching you all interact and play with the story and characters <3

I do wish I could move this chunk of my life to an earlier time though because having next to 0 time or energy to consistently update sux :')

Certainly! :3

Kinito - He's still pretty hurt by what Firecracker had said... He's too nice/timid to treat them harshly or anything like that, but he's certainly going to be fairly guarded unless they come forward and apologize.

Sam - It's pretty hard to get under his skin; he's a pretty empathetic guy, so he understands why Firecracker is the way they are (the whole situation sounds insane). So, he has no particular favor or ill will towards them.

Sonny -

im a huge fucking furry