#I hope I can make and post a couple more pieces in the nearby future involving her/the rest of the characters and of my k-12 AU

[earth616variant]

the send-off | s.r; 3

summary | Being his best friend and assistant, Howard Stark asked you to be the first one to be tested on his time machine project. After some unexpected errors, you ended up stuck in the modern times of the 21st century. Where you meet the man you thought died years ago: Steve Rogers.

pairing/s | steve rogers x reader, avengers x reader

word count | 5.5k+

genres | angst, fluff, crack, time travel au, unrequited love au

warnings | nightmare, idiots, little childish superheroes...

note | i'm sorry it took me long to update! but here is it. I'll be posting more drabble about them soon. this is less angsty than the first two. i hope you enjoy reading it! thank you so much for your patience :)) reblogs and comments are always appreciated! <3

series masterlist

This is like heaven.

As you two were walking, you cannot stop yourself from looking left and right at what the place looked like. Every piece of equipment, furniture, and gadget seemed really modernized. The predictions of the future in your time are nothing based on what you are just seeing now in this compound.  You knew you must restrain yourself from getting your hands on the small, pocket-sized screen Steve kept tapping on when you two agreed to step out of the clinic. Your brain, although stressed, was burning with curiosity. Especially with that invisible voice that he talked to while you two walked out.

“Friday, where’s everyone?” Steve suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you confusedly turned your head to Steve. You don’t have any idea who he was talking with since you two were the only people around when he spoke.  

“Who’s Friday– Jeepers!”

You jumped, clinging immediately to the man beside you when a stiff, feminine voice spoke. 

“Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts are nearby the lakes. Dr. Banner is in his laboratory. The others are currently resting in their respective rooms.”

Steve, who was also surprised at your reaction for a second, chuckled and whispered, “It’s fine.”

Embarrassed, you remove your hands that were clinging to his arm and cleared your throat. You ran your hands down to your clothes to at least look decent again.

“I’m sorry for my reaction.”

You wanted to ask a question about it. But Steve must have been tired from hearing you asking questions like a kid. It’s been hours now and you kept on asking from one question to another. So you sealed your lips shut. Yet, Steve seemed to read your mind since he explained it to you as you continue walking.

“That’s Friday. She’s an A.I. that Tony created. She helps a lot here so if you need–”

“What’s an… A.I.?” you interjected.

The last two letters rolled off your tongue like you were unsure about it. An A.I.You thought of any possible meaning of it that you could have learned before but you cannot think of any. 

“It stands for Artificial Intelligence. I was surprised too when I encountered it for the first time too. It was crazy to see the advancements of technology from this time.” he shared, to assure you about your reaction earlier.

You chuckled lightly with that, “Yeah, it’s strange to see everything here. Just hours ago, I am back in my own lab with… Howard… but now, I’m looking at these new things…”

You paused with the thought of your best friend. Steve quickly noticed your heavy sigh and lonely gaze on the ground while your shoulder slumped. You were just distracted by your chat with Steve a couple of hours ago in the clinic and now, it’s beginning to sink in. He can see that based on your expression.

He calls your name softly, “Y/N?”

You slowly looked up your eyes glistening. You spoke, “Is this really it? Am I staying here forever?”

“I… I don’t know, Y/N. I’m sorry. I really am.” he apologized, disappointed himself too.

Steve could say that Tony and Bruce can probably try and build another time machine. But he doesn’t want to give you false hope. And he won't know if Stark would want to attempt on making a time machine after this– you coming back– happened.

Am I staying here forever? 

He remembered asking the same question himself years ago when he got back. Fury once told him that time machines are impossible when Steve was still unaware of Howard’s attempt. Fury said that no one ever succeeded in operating one. He did not even mention what happened to you. Steve only knew about your disappearance when it slipped Peggy’s tongue when he was visiting her in the retirement home. He tried to ask her again about it, but due to her condition, Peggy had a hard time recalling everything. 

Both shocked and frustrated, Steve immediately confronted SHIELD’s former director about it. He learned that you are basically an open secret to everyone working with the organization. Natasha later presented him with the last photo of yours taken before the time travel attempt. It was said to be photographed by a certain Robert Smith.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry for pressing all my questions to you.” you breathed out. And before he can say anything to console you, you continued, “I should probably rest. Everything has been a lot…”

Steve silently nods. You two continued to walk. You were just following him since you don’t really have any idea about this whole compound’s navigation. So when Steve stopped in a hallway of doors, you stopped too.

“Here is our extra room. This can be your room for the meantime.” he introduced as he opened the patterned grey door.

Your eyes instantly traveled around, curious about what bedrooms might look like in this future era. The room was simple but more spacious than your bedroom in your own apartment. This one has a kingsized bed, a bedside table and lamp, a wooden desk at the nearby window, and two doors. It was pretty plain, confirming that it was really just an extra room. Steve walked you through it.

“You have your own bathroom here.” he opened one of the doors and you took a quick glance inside it. Steve opened the other one, “This is your closet.”

“But I don’t have any more clothes, Steve.” you awkwardly mentioned the obvious. “I don’t even think I’ll be able to sleep with this.”

Howard reminded you days after you said yes to being his test subject that you should dress properly on the day of the event. He said that it will make a great impression if someone sees you in the future. It was probably a joke from him. But you did wear the most pristine and presentable blouse and slacks you have. It even reminded you of Katherine Hepburn’s outfits.

And now, here you are. Although these are your best work clothes, you would have to sleep in them. You find it uncomfortable. Back in your apartment, you have long, cozy, silk nightgowns and pajamas that you wear after a long day in the laboratory. The material was soft and helps you to fall asleep quickly after laying down on your bed.

“Uhm… maybe…” Steve avoided your gaze as he tried not to stutter with sharing his idea. He honestly looked like a kid as his lips twitched timidly, “You… You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight.”

“Oh, uhm…” you stammered, eyes slightly widening. The idea of wearing his clothes unexpectedly bought flutters in your stomach. Doing that seems too intimate. 

Not wanting to make you feel any discomfort, he thought of another suggestion, “Or maybe I can ask the others if they can lend–”

“No, no. That would be more troublesome. I would rather borrow yours.” You fiddled with your fingers as you looked into his eyes, “Is that fine with you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Steve nods. “Let’s go to my room.”

“Huh?” your eyebrows furrowed with your mouth slightly agape. 

Steve immediately realized what his last sentence sounded like, making his eyebrows raise. He explains, “I mean so that you can pick out the clothes yourself.”

“Oh, okay…” your voice trailed off before pursing your lips together.

There was this obvious silence as you two walked side by side. You were fiddling with your fingers while he looked around the compound as if he didn’t live here. The air felt like when you put two awkward teens in one room. His door wasn’t too far from yours, only four doors away.

“Come in.” 

And when he opened the door, a fresh scent of rosemary and mint welcomed you. It brought instant more comfort to you than the last room. Maybe because this one is more personalized to Steve’s own character. Your eyes traveled to the desk in the corner, where you spotted a familiar framed sketch.

“Oh, I know that one.” you pointed out, seemingly proud as you turn your head to Steve. He chuckled. You continued, “You were drawing that monkey when you were doing one of your USO tours.”

“Yes. It was during that time. You and Howard came to watch for the first time.” Steve recalled and you nodded.

As much as he hates it, Steve remembered that time of his long life crystal clearly. He just got the serum, Erskine died, and he wants to immediately serve in the army. But he ended up doing performances all over the nation in a patriotic overall spandex and red boots. 

Sure, he had a few good memories from that chapter of his life. But it mainly felt awkward. Especially that time he performed in front of real soldiers, who were very opposite of his usual young fans, in deafening silence. Or when you and Howard would come and watch a couple of his shows if you have the time. He remembered feeling more self-aware on stage in his fitting costume and weird helmet punching a fake Hitler, knowing that you are somewhere in the crowd.

“Here is my closet by the way.” Steve changed the subject and you followed behind him.

His clothes were well-organized and followed a color palette. Of course, the shade of blue stands out. Steve did let you pick out, telling you that anything would be fine.

“You have a lot of these so I’m just— Oh.”

You stopped when you unfolded one of the white shirts. When folded, it looked plain. But as you spread it out, there was a word written on its front.

“Capsicle?” you read it out with one of your eyebrows raised.

“It was a gift from Tony. He used to call me that.” Steve explained and you only stared at him as if you don’t understand it. He exhaled, “You know… because I, Captain America, was frozen in ice for decades.”

“Oh!” you tried not to giggle but failed. “I’m sorry for laughing. It just sounded like something his father would do or say.”

“Yes, they are very much alike.” Steve just agreed.

Not long after, you two walked out of his closet with his clothes in your hands. You chose that shirt (even though Steve tried to convince you that there are other choices) and plaid blue pajama pants. He walked you back to your room, asking if you still need anything.

“Just knock on my door if you need anything. Okay?”

You smiled, “I will. Thank you so much for everything, Steve. I really appreciate it.”

Not wasting any second, you hugged him. You thought that you’ll just do it quick as you don’t want to cause any discomfort to him. But when you felt his hands on your back, you found yourself relaxing your chin on his shoulder. Whatever heaviness you felt in your chest was slightly lessened with his simple action. When you slowly moved away, Steve’s electric blue eyes looked directly at yours with a certain— you don’t really want to assume but— tenderness. 

“I’ll introduce everyone to you tomorrow. But for now, you should rest,” he spoke.

You nodded and opened the door to your room, stepping inside. “Good night, Steve.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

You gently closed the door while Steve watched you. Leaning your back on the door, you huffed like you held out your breath for a long time. You looked up like question marks were flying around your head. All of this… everything… feels unreal.

You were blanked out as you changed into Steve’s clothes. His shirt was oversized on you but cozy like your nightgowns. The hem of his pajama pants reached the carpeted floor. You don’t mind though. You’re too exhausted.

You almost climbed to your probably new bed. It smelled nothing like yours. But it was nice and soft enough to make your eyes shut close within just a few seconds.

“Just take a shot. But don’t interact with anyone.”

You see your best friend, standing near the controls. You looked down at your hands and you see that you were holding a camera. Turning your chin up, you see Donny’s little hand waving against the glass. Susan smiled. You looked to another person in the room, Robert. He gave you a thumbs-up as he positioned himself behind his large camera. You looked back to Howard.

“Even to one person?”

“Even to one person,” he repeated.

Then suddenly, all you can hear is the heavy beats of your heart. It was like a countdown. You closed your eyes. The sound of your heartbeat trailed off and now you can just hear your own breathing. You slowly opened your eyes. Nothing.

You look around and it’s nothing. Just a pitch-black void. You didn’t dare to move as you don’t know where to go. Alone, you wrapped your arms to yourself. That’s when you notice the camera’s gone too. It’s not even cold but you feel like trembling. Then, you heard Howard’s voice. It echoes in this empty dark space you’re in.

“This one will be a big success, Y/N.”

But he is nowhere to be seen. Your pulse is back beating at the loudest volume, it was much faster than ever. You tried to scream– call for your dear friend. But was stopped when you heard his voice again.

“This one will be a big success, Y/N.”

And again.

“This one will be a big success, Y/N.”

And again.

“This one will be a big success–”

“STOP!”

Eyes wide open, you found yourself on the same bed you slept on. You were sweating bullets on your forehead as your chest heaved up and down, slowly calming down. There were already rays of sunshine that transcended to the window and you can clearly see that you are still where you were last night. 

“Oh my…”

All you can do is let out a shaky sigh as you bury your face in your palms. You wanted to scream. Maybe cry. Or just run your fingertips through your hair and pull it out of your scalp. This whole situation makes your toes curl. 

You got up from bed and make your way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, you looked at yourself. Your eyes were slightly puffed from all the tears you let out last night. Your forehead is glistening from sweat while your hair is disheveled. You looked worse than the nights you worked overtime in the laboratory.  You shook your head at the sight before opening the tap, splashing a refreshing amount of water on your face. 

You were dabbing the available white, fluffy towel on your face when you hear knocks on your door. You turned to the mirror again. You wished you could do something with your hair. But you don’t have any hairspray or elastic to at least fix it. Instead, you just ran a comb through your hair. The comb seemed clean as you found it on the small bathroom shelf. It didn’t took look before you open the door.

“Good morning.” Steve greeted you. “Did I woke you up?”

“Oh, no,” you replied, shaking your head.

“Great… Uh, breakfast is ready. I figured I’ll introduce you to everyone out there.” 

“Okay…S-Should I change my clothes?” you wondered as based on Steve’s stories last night, these people are the world’s mightiest heroes. 

You wondered if they are formal-type of people. Maybe pompous or superior? Well, you already met two of them last night: Tony and Banner. And in all honesty, you don’t remember much about the latter. Only Tony since you learned he is your best friend’s son and if you were here by the time he was born, you knew Howard would pick you as that man’s godparent. Plus, you remember Tony because you can already feel how he’s so much of his dad.

“That’s fine. We’re just having breakfast together before our training. But you do you. You can change if you want.” Steve replied.

“Well, how do I look? Do I at least look presentable?” you just asked since you still want to look decent even though they saw you in distress before.

He nods, “You look great, Dr. Y/N.”

You don’t know if he was teasing or reassuring you. But your heart skipped when he said that. You hid a faint smile forming on your lips as you closed the door behind you. You just followed him. It took you seconds to realize that you were in an elevator. It’s obviously much different and updated than the one from your time. But you cannot help but notice something specifically,

“They used to play music…” you muttered as you leaned against the cold wall.

Steve, who was leaning on the other wall, chuckled, “Yeah, I know. I tried telling Tony to bring it back.”

The elevator door slides and you immediately hear various noises from different people. As you got closer to the noise, you move closer to Steve. He offered you a smile, and you reciprocated it. You step inside what seems like a kitchen and it goes quiet.

If eyes can shoot bullets, you’re probably dead by now. Everyone looks at you and you put on a small smile. Your eyes traveled around until you locked with a friendly pair. Sergeant Barnes. You cannot stop your gaze from shifting from his face down to his arm, which looked very much different. Your eyes moved back to his face and his lips formed a tight smile. Steve was the one who broke the silence, clearing his throat.

“Everyone, I would like you to meet someone…”

He looked at you with encouragement and you nodded.

“Hi… Uhm… I’m Dr. Y/N from Stark Industries.” you used your usual introduction before adding something else. “I… I came from the 40s.”

It was dead silent for a few seconds before someone stepped up first.

“Hi! I’m Wanda Maximoff.” the woman with long, red hair introduced herself. She wore a friendly smile as she offers her hand. You shook it, smiling at her. “Nice meeting you, doctor.”

“Just my name will be fine,” you told her.

Another woman followed, “Natasha Romanoff.”

She sounded stern but she offered a kind, small smile. She also has red hair but is shorter than Wanda’s. 

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. My name is Vision.”

This time, a literal red person approached you. He seemed like a robot but more human. It was confusing. Another guy stood up from his chair near the kitchen counter.

“My name’s Sam Wilson. I fly around too like that Android.”

“Yeah, except he still needs to put on his little wings before he can do anything.” 

You heard Barnes behind him. Sam immediately countered an answer, “I can throw punches too!”

“Sam served in the Air Force.” Steve, who’s beside you, added.

Both your eyebrows raised, “Oh, really? That’s amazing.”

In your time, the US Air Force was just founded. You never really met anyone from the Air Force and to have one in front of you right now, you feel amazed. 

“Enough of that. Let me introduce myself to Dr, Y/N.” Bucky walked to you as Sam stepped back, rolling his eyes.

“Oh Sergeant Barnes, You don’t have to introduce yourself. We’re way past that,”  you told him and he chuckled.

You didn’t stop yourself from hugging him. You were just so happy to see both Steve and Bucky alive as you lost them both in the same year. Back in the 40s, Bucky knows a lot of places to hang out and would invite you to go with them. Howard would tag along sometimes too. But you and Bucky get to talk a lot since Peggy would usually pull Steve with her.

“How are you, doll?” 

You were too focused on the changes in him that you can’t answer his question. Instead, you touched his left arm, feeling its cold metal surface. The texture felt familiar.

“Your arm…”

It was obvious that you have a ton of questions in your head. But Bucky just looked at you that says: I’ll tell you later. Then, your eyes landed on a boy sitting beside Sam on the kitchen counter. He instantly looks away when you locked eyes with him. You figured he is still a student as his dark blue long-sleeved shirt has the logo of Midtown School of Science and Technology. You’ve never heard of that school before so it was probably established after the 40s. Your eyes traveled back to his face. He seemed flushed as you stare at him longer.

“Hi…” you greeted him in front of everyone. 

You tried to be friendly as the kid seemed very scared of you. His eyes widened. Sam had to nudge him to make him move. He put down his bowl of cereal and timidly walked up to you.

“H-Hello, ma’am… My name’s Peter Parker.” he stutters as he gently shakes your hand. “I really like– love your research journals. Especially the one about the possibility of a multiverse.”

Peter almost jumped when your other hand unexpectedly caged his hand. You looked at him with delight, “Really? You knew about that?”

Joy filled your heart when you heard that. It was like your mood was instantly lifted again. Your research journals are your children. You were always proud of them but often overlooked by your other colleagues since a woman wrote them. Only Howard shows enthusiasm for it and would bring it up in conversation. 

“Yeah, I came across your journal in the school library before. Then, Mr. Stark let me read your other journals.” he chattered.

“Mr. Stark?” you repeated.

“Yeah, someone’s calling for me?”

As if on cue, Tony walks in with an auburn-haired woman that looked familiar. The woman smiled at you, “Hi. I’m Pepper Potts. It’s nice to meet you.”

You don’t want to assume things but she seemed close to Tony. Like a partner– not a work kind– but a romantic type. It made you think about who your best friend ended up with. Howard didn’t seem like someone to settle down with. He never talked about wanting to get married or even having a family of his own. He only has flings, rarely a relationship. He’s bad at ending things with these women and would often let Jarvis dismiss them. The first time you learned that about him, you slapped him on the back of his head, saying how awful that is. Later on, Jarvis told you that Howard would give out a special bracelet to his flings as a parting gift. 

“Let’s have breakfast?” she offered and you nodded.

Plates were already on the table, along with pancakes, bacon, and eggs. You sat between Steve and Bucky, who were both considerate. They offered you syrup and orange juice while the others talked about their plans for the day. You listened quietly, chewing on the fluffy pancakes you heard Wanda prepared. You were really not used to having your meal with anyone as you live alone. But hearing conversations and banters made you more comfortable in this modern time you’re thrown into. Peter left early since he said he was stopping by his aunt before going to school.

“Where are they going?” you whispered to Steve as Tony and Pepper say goodbye.

“Tony has a conference somewhere in Europe, I think… Pepper going to work.”

“What’s her job?” you asked before reaching for the orange juice.

“Pepper leads Stark Industries.”

Hearing that, you choke on your drink. Natasha, who was eating in front of you, handed you a napkin while Bucky gently pats your back. Steve took your glass from you.

“I’m sorry.” your voice muffled as you cleaned up your lips. Then, you turned to Steve, “How?”

“Tony appointed her as CEO of the company eight years ago.”

That was his answer. Like it was something Tony usually does.

“By the way, we’re going out later.” Steve changed the subject as he stood up, taking your finished plate with his to the sink.

“We are?”

“Yeah, let’s buy your clothes and other things you need. Wanda’s coming with us,” he replied, opening the tap.

“I… I didn’t take my money with me,”

Bucky stifled a giggle beside you, making you turn around to him with a glare. He always found it marvelous how you are both naive and genius. You were one of the most intelligent people he knows. But you also seemed innocent with anything out of your expertise. He noticed it when you would hang out in diners or jazz clubs where a lot of men would try to make a move with you. But you would unintentionally reject their subtle invitation. 

“Don’t worry about that.” Steve turned around, hands all soapy. “Just go prepare. We’re leaving after.”

You sighed, “Okay.”

“I thought you were off to Italy today for that mission.”

Natasha was the first one to speak when you walked out of the room. Wanda and Vision left too. Sam is still finishing his mug of warm coffee. Same with Bucky. Steve can feel his friends’ eyes daggering on his back as he rinsed off the soap bubbles from the utensils and plates. He didn’t answer until he was done with it.

“I asked Clint and Bruce to cover for me.” he simply revealed.

He sees Natasha biting her lip, attempting to hide a forming smile. So is Sam, who grinned as he takes a sip in his cup. Meanwhile, Bucky stayed shameless, smirking as soon as Steve looked at him. Steve raised an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Sam replied, but his tone screams something else. “But is she wearing your clothes–”

“So this is about that.” Steve lets out an exasperated sigh.

“No! No! We think it’s cute on her.” Bucky protested. Natasha even added, “Yeah, she’s cute.”

“Just tell me what is this all about. What’s with the eyes and smiles? You look like you heard some gossip somewhere.” 

“Well… if you put it like that…” 

Bucky looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. Both Natasha and Sam snicker. It was a childish scene. Steve rolled his eyes as his shoulder slumped. He never thought he would be in this situation with his superhero friends, who are all acting like giddy high school kids right now. Now wanting to deal with them anymore, Steve was about to leave. Not until Sam confessed,

“Bucky told us you had a crush on her back in the 40s.”

He froze in his tracks, processing what he just heard. The three waited for his reaction, only watching him as he turned around.

“What? I… I never said that.”

Bucky then looked to their other friends, “See? He didn’t deny it.”

Steve shakes his head as they laughed. Without saying anything more, he chose to just walk out.

“I can’t find anything there, Wanda.”

Steve and Wanda drove you to this indoor shopping place. They said it is called a mall. There were a lot of people when you arrived. You thought a mall was just a big place where you buy clothes. But it turns out to have more of that. Instead of clothes, you asked Steve if you can buy books when you passed by a bookstore. Steve also let you have some stationery. You ended up buying three books: one sci-fi book that was really popular in your time, another sci-fi that just came out, and The Little Prince. 

Now, you, Steve, and Wanda are eating in this cute diner Steve knows. He said he goes here at least once a month in his free time. The place is almost close to the diners from your time. The colors, the patterns, the booths, and even the staff’s uniforms were almost resemblance. But when you look at the customers, you’ll realize that this is not the 1940s.

“I mean, I have nothing for the fashion you have today. They are all divine. And I don’t mean to be a fuddy-duddy but I would want to wear something that I usually wear.” you explained before sipping your milkshake

“I understand, Y/N. I thought we could find something you will like there.” Wanda’s shoulder slumped.

“We did find some things there!” you exclaimed, referencing the shopping bags next to you.

You shopped for books and a couple of nice sleepwear. You also have a pair of shoes, sandals, and a slip-on that you and Wanda chose. You were happy to have someone commenting on your choices. Wanda and you almost agree on the same thing and would laugh about your thoughts about something.

“How about you, Steve? Where did you get your clothes when you got here?” you asked the man in front of you. He has been pretty quiet since you got in the mall. He will just pay for things and compliment the shoes you bought.

Steve chewed his burger first before replying, “SHIELD just provided it to me.”

“Wait! I think I know a place.” Wanda exclaimed.

“Holy mackerel!”

You squealed as you saw the exterior of the antique store Wanda said. Your eyes sparkled as you see the furniture and clothes. Steve opened the car door for you and you swore you almost ran straight to the door. A bill clings when you opened the door.

“Steve! Look at this!”

Steve turned in your direction and sees you pointing to a record player. You carefully reached for one of the records displayed. It was Frank Sinatra’s record. You looked at it with delight. Steve knew he had to say it,

“We can buy it if you want. I have a record player. We can put it in your room since I don’t use it much.”

The glimmer of happiness in your eyes shined more, “Really?”

“Yeah, consider it as a welcome gift.” he quipped and you instantly wrapped your arms around him.

“Oh, thank you so much, Steve.”

The day went on with you jumping around the same shop. Wanda was happy to pick out clothes with you. There were limited choices but they were all eye-pleasing and suited your style. You got dresses, blouses, and trousers that were all much cheaper than the dizzying prices in the mall. The old woman who owns the shop was amazed at your enthusiasm for what she called “vintage” fashion.

“How old are you, honey?” she asked as you place a large number of clothes for checkout.

“I’m 29, ma’am,” you replied with a smile.

“Oh, you’re almost the same age as my granddaughter. But I don’t think she would wear this same type of clothes.” she shared. “You know, these clothes came from the old, old times. Most of these clothes are my mother’s”

You wanted to say that you came from that old, old times. But you knew how complicated and insane would that sound.

“Your boyfriend must be so–”

“Boyfriend?”

The lady fixed her glasses as she looked at you, “That guy. Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

She nods her chin in Steve’s direction who was also strolling around the place. You hoped he didn’t hear what the lady said as he seemed focused on the furniture displayed. Wanda was looking around too.

“Oh, no. We’re just friends, ma’am.” you giggle timidly.

“You can call me Nancy, honey.” she introduced herself. “And you have great friends. That girl has said nothing but praises when you were trying out these clothes and that man…”

She signaled you to come closer to her, which you did. She whispered, “Take him out on a date. He’s a dreamboat”

“Nancy!”

You felt warmth all over your face. It was like blood rushes up to your cheeks and ears. You thought of doing it before but you never had the courage to do it to anyone. You knew Steve already had his attention on someone else. Nancy just laughed at your flushed reaction.

“Oh, honey. I’m just saying that I think he’s a catch.” she winked. “Anyway, who am I to meddle with your life?” you laughed at that. “What’s your name, honey?”

“Y/N, ma’am.”

You didn’t realize that she had already finished putting the things you bought in a bag when she pulled something under her counter.

“Y/N, honey, this is a gift since you are one of my largest spenders this month in the shop. It was from someone important to me and I can’t really wear or sell it here. But I would love to see it on you.”

“Nancy, you don’t have to– Oh, wow. This is so pretty.” 

She hands you a simple, white pearl necklace. It was kept in a boxy, that’s why it looks shiny and good.

“I know, honey. I’ve been keeping it in a box for a long time now. I don’t really wear that kind of necklace anymore and was just waiting for the right customer to give it to. Since I liked how excited you are when you entered my shop, I’m giving it to you.” she told you.

“Oh, Nancy, I’m going to be a regular in here.” you quipped as you tried it on. “How is it?”

“It’s lovely.” she compliments. “And yes, I would love to see you coming here again anytime soon. I love talking to you. You somehow remind me of my old friends.”

THE SEND-OFF TAGLIST (edited)

@supraveng @sunflower-golden-vol6 @curi0usc4t @caitlyn-who @bitchy-bi-trash @stilltoomuchafangirl @matisse556 @gitasor @ladybug05 @sunwoahkim @meanttobea @j69confessional2 @thenyxsky @maximoffmaxipad @swthxrry @justab-eautifulmess @7minutes-tomidnight @curlycarley @thefalconandthewinterwidowshield @wisepenguin @shatfairy @coffeeshub @stillthatbetch @cosmicgirls-things @sabrinaselina55 @mediocre-m @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @mrsjaderogers @themerc-with-a-mouth @slutdreams @mrbutterbunz @royalwritersoftheuniverses @yunloyal @avengersinitiative2012 @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @noodle81937 @madnessinwrighting @lilizia @saintmagx @evanswife1918 @saranghaey @elmphoenix17 @animegirlgeeky @t-stark35

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@rosedpetal

[galariangengar]

Yo, finally finished and posted my “Welcome Home” OC!

Here's my "Welcome Home" OC: Sirena Songbird

“Sirena was quite the head turner when she first arrived in the neighborhood. Although shy upon first meeting, Sirena had a love for singing; her mesmerizing voice captured the attention of any & all neighbors nearby. Need help remembering lyrics to your favorite tunes? Need to practice before a big performance? Give her a shiny seashell and Sirena would gladly help you out like the good neighbor she is!”

Sirena was a bird/mermaid hybrid or “siren” who once lived in the seas with her fellow sisters. Despite learning how to sing from them, Sirena wished to use her voice for good & bring joy to others, unlike her sisters who lured sailors to their death. She wished upon a shooting star one night for a new life, and left her sisters with hopes of starting a new chapter. The next morning, she was found sleeping in a nearby river in the forest surrounding the neighborhood by Julie and Frank, who were hunting for butterflies. With the help of all neighbors, Sirena settled down in her new Home with all of her lovely neighbors.

During her first few appearances on the show, Sirena was a part of segments involving exercise & movement, learning how to use her new legs and things one can do with their body such as jumping. She would briefly be seen in a wheelchair during this time until she was comfortable moving around on her own. Afterwards, Sirena would make occasional appearances on episodes & segments involving singing & music; typically seen helping Sally with her theater shows, spending time with Julie and being a muse to Wally. Throughout her time on the show, Sirena did have a couple original songs that were very popular among children. Perhaps a bit too popular as parents have sent complaints about how their children sing her songs or request them to be played several times a day; few have even argued that they’ve seen their children in a trance-like, lethargic state.

[strixcattus]

If you've seen my posts from before I was busy being consumed by a media, you might remember the time travel conlang I talked a little about. Good news on that front—I've actually been working on it through @quothalinguist 's Conlang Year prompts. Given what I already had sketched out, the prompts are making me slow down a little at the moment, but they're also forcing me to think about in what capacity this language exists in a conworld.

I mean. Obviously it's meant to exist in our world. But it also exists in our world four hundred years in the future, and four hundred years in the past, and in an alternate timeline where World War II never happened, and in an alternate timeline where some nobody choked to death on a piece of fruit in 7 BCE and it had unforeseen cataclysmic effects.

It also exists in a timeline that diverged in 2013, but which somehow developed wormholes within the past eleven years—wormholes that completely fail when brought to our own world.

The first step was creating a framework for time travel. Something that could be used to explain how things worked and serve as a jumping-off point for beings that interacted with time in an odd way. I included the time worm in my original post half as a joke, but it did end up with its own gender and person when I started sketching those (though it is possible, if not likely, that such things will change some when we reach that point in the year).

Time is like a tree. It's like a tree in a more literal way than necessary. At the base of the trunk lies the Big Bang, and the trunk itself is the stretch of time afterwards where not enough was going on to form any real branches. Eventually, as star systems (and more importantly, life) began to form, time started to split off into new possibilities. Every event that could proceed in multiple ways has the potential to branch off several new timelines, but for the most part this doesn't happen—the smaller the consequences and the less likely an alternate outcome, the less likely a new branch will form. There is definitely a branch where WWII never happened, and some where it ended differently, but there isn't a branch for every possible outcome of the war, until the time travellers get involved.

If a time traveller heads back in time a few years just to hang around, they probably won't create a new branch unless their presence itself is enough to noticeably alter events. If they actively cause changes, though, they're guaranteed to form a new branch.

The tree can be navigated in a couple different ways. Time travellers take the slow, responsible route—they pick their way up and down the timelines to explore new eras and branches. There is also, however, a school of universe-hopping—essentially, not bothering with time and simply flinging oneself out into the branches and hoping one has aimed right. This is risky.

If time is a tree and people can fling themselves between branches like some sort of sugar glider, there must also be things living in the space between those branches already. Some of them are benevolent. Some of them choose to settle down in linear time, either for a season or permanently. Some of them bore into the branches of timelines and eat away at them until they fall apart. Some of them knock universe-hoppers off course and prey on them. Some of them are plants.

Some of the key inhabitants of this space that I've outlined:

Time worms: I already mentioned these things. They're really big purple worms that inhabit a branch of a timeline and experience all of time within that branch simultaneously. Each worm has a "birth date" where they start existing in the branch, but it's unclear if they are capable of death within a timeline—any attempts to kill a time worm just branch off a new timeline where the worm does not exist. Time worms are sapient beings and also a sign of a healthy timeline—if a time worm has time to grow, the nearby space outside time must be safe, and mature time worms prey on most pests that could bring harm to a timeline.

Outsiders: A general term for beings that live outside time, both flora and fauna. Some of them are capable of entering linear time for a while, and some even choose to give up outsider status, but they all live, generally, between the timelines. For this reason, time worms are excluded from this classification.

"Hawks" and "Borers": Euphemistic terms (which may change later on). Their true names have been lost due to superstition that speaking it would summon them. "Hawks" are outsiders that attack and prey on hoppers, and "borers" are outsiders that burrow into timelines either to prey on their inhabitants or to eat away and eventually destroy the timeline itself.

Dragons and Faeries: Not exactly what you picture, but pretty close. "Dragons" are outsiders which typically only travel between timelines to find new places to live, and do their actual living and hunting within linear time—and, sure, most species do look like dragons if you're willing to make some concessions. Faeries are humanoids which live outside time, but many of their clans give up outsider status to live within linear time, seemingly as a means of protection from "hawks."

"Lichen": Or "Moss." It's debatable what term should be used when translating into a linear-time language, since there's no good analogue to the name. Point is, these are flora that grow on timelines and alter the laws of reality within them, for better or for worse. Think of them as a little like bacteria: some of them will do their level best to kill you, some are beneficial to your survival, and most of them just hang around doing neither good nor harm. "Lichen" spread into the past of a timeline backdates the appearance of their effects, but doesn't measurably change the events of the timeline, and can create worlds where "the magic vanished" if it doesn't cover all branches after where it's spread.

The Rot: Death. An infection that completely destroys any timeline where it takes root. The only known killer of time worms. If a timeline is infected, it cannot be saved—its inhabitants must be sanitized and evacuated if at all possible.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack: Sing My Song

Part Two

Summary- 7.5k Steve Rogers x You. Having you back makes the Alpha very happy, and has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Which you don’t have any issues with that. Shuri continues her work with you, and making progress everyday, enough so Steve hopes to take you on a run through Wakanda. Bucky and his team are drawing in on Brock, but will they be able to take out the ex Alpha and his bitch for good? Warnings- Smut and Violence. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

A/N- Im breaking this into 2 parts. Its long and I feel like its just a lot to handle all to once. So next chapter will be posted soon. As always, Thank you for sticking with me and The Pack, I hope you all enjoy. As always feedback and your thoughts are encouraged, I’m always open to hearing what you all think and would like to see for them in the future. Happy Reading 🐺❤️

Part One / Chapter 8 / Masterlist

Brock did nothing to fight back or defend himself. His eyes glittered malicious at Bucky, baring his teeth at Bucky. 

“Cassandra really had NO idea what you were. You were just such a good fuck and easy listener Barnes. You should have heard her screams when we showed her what you were, what we were.” Brock taunted, making Bucky recoil slightly hearing him.

Brock's taunts gave Alanna enough time to shift out of Bucky’s sight, for her to slink around the room and low to the ground and start to approach the White Wolf from behind. In Bucky’s mind the White Wolf paced, wanting to rip out Brock’s throat, lap at the hot spurts of blood that would spray. But then he noticed the silence, his ears flicking around but he heard nothing. 

<Where's the bitch?> the White Wolf snarled out.

 Bucky started to turn enough to see a rush of tawny fur leaping at him, and he spun to kick out, catching the Wolf in the ribs and sending her flying back. But it was enough for Brock to knock the blade from Bucky’s hand, and push him back to get out of the corner. He was hitting Bucky in enough different places that it was leaving Bucky too disoriented and a collar got shoved around his neck from behind. Bucky heaved his shoulders to dislodge whoever had come up from behind, and he sent Wanda sprawling against the floor. 

Brock was quick to back off once that collar went on him, barking out at Wanda who was just getting up to go for Bucky once more. “GIve it a rest, witch. We got him now.” Wanda subdued herself once more, that vacant look melding into something new, something controlled. 

“Wanda, you can fight this.” Bucky's hands went up to the collar tight around his neck, growling in anger and frustration, but doing his best to keep it together. Brock gave an amused laugh as Wanda continued to ignore Bucky. 

Alanna whined as she moved to a stand and shook herself out, not too injured from being kicked and started to shift back and get dressed once more. From the stairs, Pietro sent Clint tumbling down to land in a pile at the landing, unconscious now from whatever the twins had done to him upstairs. Bucky's fingers curled around the collar, trying to figure out how to get this particular one off. It wasn't metal like the one Pierce had used on him, no secret button to press. This was supple leather, molding around his neck like it was a part of him, thin, almost unnoticeable. He tried wrenching the leather against his neck to make it snap , but the leather never gave, and neither did the clasp holding it in place. 

“Don't even bother Barnes. That isn't like Pierce's contraptions. These are the real deal, you are ours now Bucky. You and your friends too. Teper' tvoya moya sobaka.” Your our dog now

“What the-” the man clammed up, Bucky and the White Wolf being pulled out of control of his body, and his eyes snapped from their usual friendly blues into cold steel. 

“Ahh, that's better.” Rumlow circled Bucky, leaning in close. “You will no longer answer to Steve Rogers, although I’m not sure why you ever did. You had the power to take the Pack from him. You now listen to me, Soldat.” Bucky stiffened more, and he too fell into the spell that the rest had. 

After Natasha left with Stark's Jet, Steve was able to borrow a jeep and took you out for the rest of the morning into one of the nearby markets. Once he parked the jeep, the two of you started down an open market lane. You and Steve were sure to pause and admire the carts of bright beautiful items Wakandians made for sale. Steve watched how you would pick up little trinkets made of the Beli wood and would sit the little trinkets to balance on your palm. Steve noticed you favored the animal shapes, little tree frog mid croak, then an elephant with its trunk curled over its head, one of a sitting  hyena pair, and a parrot that had spread wings like in flight. But the one you kept picking up was a little panther one that matched the cliff face carving that could be seen from the balcony of the room you shared. Curling your finger along its back before you set it down, you hummed happily as you wandered to the next merchants stall. Steve though stalled, watching you pick up a couple of scarfs, their colors vivid as you twisted to hold them up to the sunlight, the color seeming to meld on your face, lighting your eyes a whole new color. 

When you had stepped away, Steve picked up the small carved Panther, and subtly paid for it. Once it was handed back to him, he slipped it in his slacks out of sight when you came back to him, holding up a few scarfs. “I think I'm going to get these for Wanda, Sara and Natasha.” 

“They would like them, but what about one for you?” He asked, his hand moving to rest in the small of your back while you both went back into the stall to look.

You glanced at the colors, and then there was one that reminded you of your Alphas eyes that happened to catch your sight. It was a streak of blue and yellow and you picked it up to add to the arrangement you made. Handing it to the merchants owner, you gave a shy thank you. Steve wrapped an arm around you as the two of you continued down, and Steve happened to pause at another booth, overlooking some blades that had a unique sheen to them. As soon as Steve touched one, he was intrigued. The weight felt like it was made just for him, and he let his thumb trail barely along the edge of them. He was surprised with the immediate red beads of blood following along the barely there cut. “What are these made of?” 

“Vibranium sir. Each blade will fit to its owner's needs. The weight will change, absorb energy, be lethal to any target. These blades will never grow dull with use. I wouldn't normally sell these to any visitors, but guests of the Kings, feel free to choose from what I have to offer.” His hand swept over the collection, and you were fascinated watching Steve go through them. He obviously had a few people in mind as he set more aside to purchase, right along with several lethal looking arrowheads. 

The rest of the morning the two of you shared bites of food from samples offered, you would laugh at the occasional face Steve would make when he didn't care for the taste of something. Dropping his head to nip at your lips and growl against them that he prefers the taste of you instead. You glanced up at him and leaned up to your tiptoes, biting gentle on his jawline, before flowing to his ear. 

“I plan on finding out soon if you taste as good as you look.” 

Cerulean eyes widened as you sauntered away to where music was playing, your hips swaying back and forth, and joining in with others enjoying the music. 

<She got you that time.> The Alpha had a smirk to his tone, huffing with amusement at Steve's still shocked look. 

She gets me all the time, this time isn't anything new. 

When he finally reached where you were wandering while listening to the music, and engaged in several conversations with the Wakanda merchants. Steves wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to your neck first. You arched your neck just a bit for him,  and he let his mouth linger against your temple, whispering just to you. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked as you watched some people weaving baskets nearby. The Wolf in him sighed in content when you nodded, and slid a hand under his shirt, pressing your hand against his back for the contact. “Yes, Alpha.” 

“We should probably get back, you still have a session with Shuri.” He didn't want to, but a glance at the time on the phone showed it was near noon and he wanted to eat lunch in the room before you two headed down for what he was hoping would be the final session for you with the Panther. You gave a soft nod, and he weaved his hand with yours, leading you back to the car. 

Driving back, it was a quick trip up to the room. The kitchen had already brought up a spread of crackers, fruit, cheese and some meats. In the heat the two of you shed your clothes, opting for something lighter and more airy before moving the tray out to the balcony, still in the shade, but able to enjoy the expansive view before you two. Pouring glasses of water, that Steve was sure to hand one to you while you leaned against the railing, looking over the view. 

“One day I would love to come back, if T’Challa would have us. Really explore.” There was so much they haven't seen, not with how tired you have been after your sessions with Shuri. 

“I'm sure we can Little One.” Steve rumbled, his sensitive to the light eyes squinting against the bright light. You nuzzled under his chin, and pulled him back into the shade to relieve him. Steve broke into a grin as he sat down, and wrapped an arm around your hip, pulling you into his lap. 

“With proper sunglasses next time, I promise.” He nipped at your shoulder affectionately, and you nodded, reaching forward for a piece of fruit, popping it between your teeth and chewing with a snort. 

“And all sorts of sunscreen. You burned a bit from that walk in the market this morning. There might be some aloe vera in the bathroom I can put on that for you.” Your fingers slide very gently along the back of his neck, where it has turned slightly red. Steve lifted his hand to feel the back of his neck, and sure enough there was a touch of heat.  

“Be gone in a couple days.” He assured you as he nipped against your jawline, rubbing a hand along your hip to steady you as you leaned for another piece of fruit from the bowl. Reaching for a piece of pineapple, you straightened and pressed it against his lips, so he would take it. 

“You know what they say about the pineapple, don't you?” You teased as you nibbled on a piece of cold cheese, smirking slightly. 

Steve's eyes shifted to yours, and you could see how your teasing was making them shine a bit more, as he tried to keep his voice as innocent as possible. 

Which really wasnt alot. 

“Oh something about tasting better?” He growled as his lips pressed to yours, pulling slightly on your lips before pulling away. You grinned when he did and nodded. 

“Mmhm, not sure what exactly? Maybe I will just have to take my time exploring to find out.” 

“You do that Little One.” He growled, even the Wolf started snickering at how the two of you were teasing one another. 

You nibbled your way along his bottom lip, the short hairs of his beard tickling you. A press of your tongue on the seam of his mouth asked for entrance, and when Steve opened to you, you were able to lap at the roof of his mouth, his own movements mimicking yours in that moment. You started humming at the sweetness the taste of fresh fruit left, his own tongue pressed against yours more demanding, wanting more of you. 

Hands started to match one another, yours cupped his face, and his braced against your back to arch you in closer to him. Sliding down his neck and to his chest, you started to tug at his shirt to lift in, needing to feel the spanse of his chest under your palms. All that power is just sitting there in your control. It was a head rush for you to know that the Alpha would do anything to keep you happy, and happily the favor was returned. Even though giving the bite scared you, if Steve really asked for it, you would allow him to mark you wherever he wanted his mark. 

Your fingers are curling against hard pecs, and burying in the dusting of hair, Steve’s grasped the curve of your waist and lifted you enough to straddle his lap, wanting you as close to him as possible . There was a growl against your mouth and Steve pulled away to place deep sucking marks against your neck. Your hips started shifting like they had a life of their own, grinding yourself against him for that friction his hard erection gave while straining to bury into your heat.

Steve craved the skin to skin contact, and his hands released you enough to reach over his shoulders to grasp his shirt and roughly pull it off. Yours too was in the way, grasping at the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head to drop it on the floor nearby. He marveled for a moment at the sight of you, and dropped his head to kiss the swells of the tops of your breasts in that similar way he was kissing on your neck earlier, your fingers clutched at him and a sigh escaped you at the coil he was building in your core. Fuck if he didnt have a hold on you, letting your body just lean into his hands, one pressing against the small of your back to hold you still while he removed your bra. Letting it fall to the ground, he nuzzled and kissed your breasts, bringing a nipple to his mouth, the hot lashing of his tongue, and pleased rumbled vibrating from his mouth through you to make you clench at the sensation. Your head fell back and lips parted to inhale deeply, sinking into the sensations of his hot lips and wet tongue teasing you while the brush of his beard brought its own tingling sensation. 

“You feel so good Alpha.” he heard you pant, and Steve bit down slightly before sucking you back into his mouth, his fingertips rolling over your other nipple before tugging it a bit, rolling and taunting till he could get his heated mouth over to draw you in, tease you till you were wriggling in his lap. He moaned again at the sweet taste of you. 

It was during all this his Wolf chose this moment to start calling your song, deep howls almost distracting him, you felt that bit of untamed wilderness in him when his body clenched, muscles tightening and rippling. 

Another roll of your hip ground you into his now aching, throbbing erection, and you pulled your hands away to work his pants open, reaching to take his cock out of the confines, and stroke him, palm him, run your fingertip over the head leaking precum. Steve growled and pressed his face into the softness of your breasts, before going back to kissing them, going back up your chest to find your mouth, growling against your panting mouth. “Get those shorts off.” 

There was no more thinking, or sense of you having to be anywhere in a certain amount of time as you scrambled off and started to tug the fabrics of your shorts and panties down, watching while Steve arched his hips to get more of his own pants down to give you room. It wasn't long till he was pulling you back to him, this time your knees found purchase in his chair and you reached between the two of you to press him against your aching entrance. Crying out as you started to bring yourself down over him. You knew that satisfied cry had to echo from your balcony, but you were beyond caring. 

A hunger for your Alpha over took you, and he was just as impatient as you because he lifted his hips to finish bringing you two together. 

“Fuck Y/N” his head dropped to bury back into your breasts, muffling the sounds of his groans as you flexed and clasped around him, whimpering yourself at how thick he felt at this angle, like it would split you to have him like this. But you were slick with need, and while he was still processing the intense feeling washing over him, being seated in you, and the damn Wolf howling over and over, you made the first move. Grasping his shoulders for leverage and arching up just enough to drag him through you, enough to sink back on him in a slow testing manner. “You're so damn tight.” Steve groaned against your skin. 

Riding Steve, you slid one arm around his neck, cradling against him. Your body knew what it wanted, and you let yourself go while he growled against you. He was back to kissing and nipping his marks into your skin while rocking his cock into your thrusts, meeting you with his own need to be inside of you, to feel you clenching him. “Just like that Little One, you are such a good girl to me.”  Your slick started to soak into his pants, the fabric friction burning against your thighs and cunt, but you wanted it and pressed a bit harder each time for that friction. 

Steve's hand flexed against the small of your back, dragging up to fist in your hair, wrapping it around his hand till he was able to pull your head back, swarmed with the desire to sink teeth into your neck and take you officially as his mate. You gasped when you felt the tug of hand dragging your head back, and he took over your movements.  His hand curled against your hip pulled you harder on his cock, scenting your neck and lapping over the pulse. You knew what he wanted, you could feel it with every angled thrust aiming to take you apart around him. 

He wanted to claim you as his, and you didn't want him to, not until your Little Wolf had returned. 

You whined out softly. “Not yet Alpha.” 

And that was enough, both Steve and the Wolf changed focus, turning soft nips into kisses, releasing your hair to dig fingers against your waist, and burying himself deeper, hitting that spot every time, and grinding your clit against him each time he filled you. It was enough to make your lower belly clench and your cunt flex and flutter around him. 

“Not until you're ready.” Steve promised as he claimed your mouth again, hissing against it. “Cum for me Little One, let me see you come apart.” 

Driving himself once more, snapping his hips up to bring you closer, a finger slipped between your bodies and pressing, rolling hard over your bundle of nerves to finish you. “Give it to me, your Alpha wants it.” he growled against your lips, sliding his tongue to fill yours, stroking and lapping at you till you started to squeeze him. Crying his name against the kiss, and eyes fluttering up to lose yourself in feeling anything but bliss. Steve gathered you close as his final thrusts sent him over the edge. He finished with the feeling of your cunt squeezing him tightly and milking him. It was just that much more incentive to brim you full with his cum. His balls tightened before his release and a burn in his belly snapped to crash you onto him, pumping himself deeper so you couldn’t forget that flood of warmth enveloping you. Whenever his knot would loosen and he could pull from you, there he would be dripping down your thighs, making him bury his head in against your shoulder with a groan, just thinking about it. Fuck how he loved that. Himself all over you, inside you. Everyone would be able to tell you were his. 

You felt Steve drift off in his own pleasure, his face buried in your shoulder and your nose traced his neck. You inhaled against his neck as his chest rose and fell against yours and you could feel his heart thumping wildly. Your fingers massaged against his upper back, and you leaned into Steve's chest humming softly in pleasure. 

“Thank you Steve.” brushing fingers through his hair, and you could feel him stir underneath you, lifting his head to press his lips against your temple, and leaning his forehead against yours with eyes still closed. 

“I promised you when you first found me that I wouldn't make you do anything you weren't ready for.” 

His hands stroked your back, and each scar his fingers slid over were no longer bringing memories of a time you fought to forget, but now they were now moments of touches and whispers in moments like these. Where both of you were coming back from the rush of being together. You arched into his touch and his hand flattened against the small of your back, pressing you into him harder, closing any space that might have been left between you two.  

The Wolf in Steve stirred, pushing once more to a stand and shaking out his fur after a few moments. His head cocked and ears perked as he was listening to something. Steve fully ignored him for now, still enjoying the post love making he just had with you.  

<She’s closer then before.> The Wolf's ears perked, picking up traces of your Little Wolf. The Wolf rumbled in anticipation of her arrival, and it passed through Steve and into you, making you press in closer against him. 

Call for her. 

The Alpha paced back and forth, listening for the Little Wolf till his head fell back and called your song once more. Steve hummed it himself while pressing his lips against your shoulder and in the hollow of your neck, lacing it in your skin and while you were relaxing from still coming down from your orgasm. 

You felt her, it was so subtle, a brush in your mind that you thought it would be nothing more then a glimpse once more. This time though it felt familiar as your own inner thoughts were, like before you were left all alone in your mind. First it was her soft sigh of content, like coming home after being away so long. Then the Little Wolf came from the very depths of your mind, each padding footfall bringing her closer to the front of your consciousness. 

Little Wolf, please tell me your back. 

She leaped into your mind with a graceful prance as she tilted her head back in the manner the Alpha had when Steve told him to call for her. She answered him with one of her own. 

<As if you could honestly could get rid of me.> She brushed up against your mind, feelings of warmth and affection radiating, and you straightened up suddenly in Steve’s hold. 

“Steve, she's back! She’s back, It worked!” You cried out, grasping his face and overwhelmed with emotion, you poured all what you were feeling into a kiss. Momentarily surprised, Steve was quick to tilt into it, inhaling your joy, relief and passion. When you pulled away, he grasped your own face, covering it in his own brush of his lips, a wide grin on his face. 

“I knew you could bring her back Little One, it was a matter of time.” He praised and you lifted your hands to cover his own, weaving fingers through his. 

“Not without Shuri, T’Challa, Natasha… You. I felt your Wolf, You.” You didn't know how to explain it, that connection you felt with him was what kept your Little Wolf searching for her way back. Steve’s brows lifted, searching your expression a moment, and let the corner of his mouth lift in a quirk of a smile. 

“Don't sell yourself short Little One.” He nudged his nose against yours gently and wiggled his brows. “Think we should go tell Shuri that you won't be needing her work on you anymore?” 

You bit your lip excitedly and nodded, in which he grasped your waist and was careful to help you pull off him and to a stand, moaning as he looked you up and down. “You also need to get dressed again. As well as drink some water.” 

You already were downing the glass on the table, giving him a snort as you set it down. The Little Wolf huffing in laughter at the Alphas bossiness. 

“You to Alpha, I wasn't the only one huffing and puffing earlier.” You poured him another glass and handed it to him before passing him to go get dressed, looking over your shoulder. “Are you going to let me keep these clothes on?” 

Steve drained the glass himself and worked on zipping his pants back up, following you inside, while leaning against the frame of the opening to the balcony. 

“Depends, The Big Bad Wolf is still hungry.” he smirked as you pulled a shirt over your head, wide eyed as you head poked through. 

“Steve Rogers, you really are an animal!” You huffed out happily. When Steve approached you, your hand smoothed against his chest and his arm came around you protectively. 

“I've never denied it, have I?” Biting your shoulder softly in play before he let you go, you both finished getting dressed and left the room to head down to Shuris lab. When they arrived, the woman had everything set up and Steve gave your shoulder a light squeeze of encouragement. 

“So I'm really hoping today Y/N that your wolf comes back with a bang.” Shuri said almost distracted, tapping on the tablet she was using. 

<Ha! I did come in after a bang!> The Little Wolf grinned with a swipe of her tongue around her muzzle. 

I think you planned it like that. 

<Maybe I did. I see now that I’m back you're not so shy around the Alpha. Straddling him while on a balcony in the middle of the day. Almost like… your back in heat.> She snickered. 

Shut up. You know I'm not. It was a lot quieter when you were MIA.

The Little Wolf huffed in laughter, settling down to let you focus. 

I’m actually so fucking happy your back. You confessed to her and the Little Wolf whined in agreement, happiness radiating through you. 

“Actually, she did. She came back just a little while ago. You did it Shuri. She's back.” 

Shuri gave an excited squeal, Steve momentarily tightening his arm around you in surprise before letting you go to meet the Princess. 

“I knew she would be back.” Raising her hand and you gave her a high five once you realized what she wanted. “Just a bit of some rewiring and bam. Good as new. You don't mind if I take a sneaky peek?” 

You shook your head no, and willingly got on the table, letting her pull up an image of the inside of your mind. Steve watched from nearby, admiring the way little sparks were doubled what they were before, an obvious sign that your Little Wolf was active. 

He did have a couple questions though. “Was it just the work you've been doing to bring her back.” Hoping for an answer that would prove to you that you called her back. 

“Some of it, but I genuinely believe that with time Y/N would have fixed this on her own. Just taken some time. I can't say for sure, as overuse of the herb isn't common. Honestly, I think once she felt at ease again, happy and content, safe. It was enough to bring the wolf back.” Shuri recorded images and took your hand to help you back up. Making you ponder on what she had said, glancing at Steve. 

Steve looked rather proud of you, and piped up once more. “Last question. She's back right, for good? No in and out disappearing on Y/N anymore?” 

You gave a stretch as you stood, curious now to Shuri’s answer, who prominently shook her head. “She's back where she wants to be. All those little electric waves, ones of content. She won't be disappearing again unless someone shoots you with a dose like that again.” 

“Yeah, that will not be happening. Fuck that time was more then enough for me.” You tuck back into Steve’s side, shaking your head firmly and the Little Wolf mimicked the action. 

Steve growled as well. “I'm seconding that, I’m bringing Y/N home, might never leave Pack Lands again.” 

Shuri laughed, folding her arms. “Right, just like T’Challa thinks I’m never leaving.” 

“Ha, you arent. I need my number one scientist here doing her work.” T’Challa strode in, nodding to the Wolves before arching a brow in surprise. “Starting late today?” 

“Actually Brother, we’ve done it. Y/N Wolf is back and just as strong as ever.” 

The King's expression widened, and he turned towards the two of them. 

“That is fantastic news Y/N!” Taking your hand, he enclosed it in both of his before lifting your knuckles to brush his lips against them. “I suppose I should set you both up for transportation home?” 

Steve looked down at you as he spoke. “Tomorrow morning perhaps? If Y/N is up for it, I would like to take her out for a run, if your offer still stands?” 

T’Challa nodded with a smile. “Of course Alpha, I wish it was a full moon but you two can go anywhere within’ Wakandas borders.” 

You couldn't help but feel excitement at the idea of a night run with Steve through Wakanda. 

Resting the remainder of that day in your rooms, You and Steve were lazy lovers passing the time, mostly talking about how good it would be to be home, as well as how you both wanted to stay a bit longer. A light dinner, and then when night started to fall, you both made your way down to the palace entrance to find T’Challa and Shuri waiting, offering to show you two around a bit. Steve’s hand rubbed against your back, kissing your shoulder while whispering. “Are you up for this Little One?” 

“More than you know Steve.” You stated while stepping away from Steve, shedding your clothing. The Alpha kept you blocked from anyone else while doing the same motions, and it was rather quick you had shifted into your Little Wolf, shaking your fur out and twisting to meet up with the Alpha, which he twined around you as well in greeting. His muzzle pressing against your ruff, and long swipes of a pink tongue cleaned your face, your ears, dragging down your neck while you nibbled back in his fur, rubbing against him momentarily. It was a joyful reunion for the Wolves as well as you and both of you started to play with one another until the two Panthers joined you with graceful fluid like bounds. They gave loud purrs as the two felines head butted each other and bright yellow eyes turned to the Wolves, flicking the tips of their tails, and rolling forward in the fluid way only cats can achieve. They ended up disappearing down the trail leading away from the palace, and the jungle started to come to life with the sound of monkeys giving out warning shrieks that the panthers were back in their domain. 

Your ears were perked after them, and you pushed to leap forward, Steve following right behind as you ducked into the heavy jungle foliage. 

Leaves slapped at the Alpha, making him growl and snap at the heavy foliage, missing the northern pine forests of home. But it started to thin, and he caught up to you as you slowed down, your head swiveling back and forth, inhaling for the panthers. Steve brushed up alongside of you, lifting his muzzle to locate the Panthers, when he caught sight of shadows moving in the jungle canopy. A loud roar made you tilt up as well, ear perked as the smaller of the two started dropping down till she came sailing through the air and landing lightly, she pawed gently at You, enticing you into a playful chase. You immediately sprinted for Steve’s side, and he settled in. Steve watched his Little Wolf and the Panther chase one another around vine covered trees and dart under giant leaves dripping water. First You would be on Shuris side, nipping at her shoulder when she would spin nimbly and tackle you till you raced with a quick burst, outpacing the Panther, back and forth you two twisted and turned to get away from the other. 

T’Challa jumped down alongside Steve, kneading the ground before sinking down, flicking his tail back and forth, watching as well. The Alphas head moved back and forth, never breaking eye contact, and when the two of you faced off, you growled and Shuri roared back at you, testing each other.

It alarmed the Alpha, who moved to get up, and T’Challa beat him to it, giving his own sharp roar calling his sister back when he sensed the Alpha next to him getting uneasy. Shuri snarled back at him, headbutting You in a goodbye before leaping back up into the canopy. The King bowed his head to the Alpha before joining his sister. Leaving the two of you alone. 

You sensed your Alphas unease at the moment, and you padded up to him, brushing up under his chin and nibbling at him to settle him back down. But he nudged at you, pushing you down the path you two had been exploring earlier, ready to keep you two moving. You both fell in an easy stride together this time as the jungle floor opened up, mossy and green. Everything seemed to cool off under the canopy, both the wolves comfortable. Little animals scattered, insects buzzing around with bright colors, that were a constant interest to you as you would snap at them and send them flying again to escape. Soon the Jungle gave way to tall grass, and the sound of animals surrounded you in the dark. 

Keeping close to your Alpha, you both ran up on a herd of elephants, their long trunks reaching out as you both stretched your necks, sniffing at them before leaping away when they tried to touch you. When one stomped her foot in warning, Steve had enough, and steered you away from the herd. Weaving back and forth through the grass, you both skirted low to the ground past Rhinos grazing, lifting their heads to watch you both pass by. Neither of you wanted to feel the edge of that horn, so decided to give a wider circle around. Steve was sure to keep himself between You and the massive beasts. They came up on leaping gazelles racing away from them, and both of you couldnt help but give chase to these. You both gave up after a few minutes, the deer like creatures much faster than you two could ever be, even Sam and Pietro would have a hard time pacing along with them. Once it was apparent neither of you were continuing, they set back to grazing. 

There was only one part of the run that turned Steve uneasy. They happened to stumble across a pack of Hyenas scavenging a carcass, and they all took interest in your unique scent. Their laughter echoing around the wolves in a menacing way. Steve nudged at you to lead you away from them when one skirted close to snap its jaws and push you two to back up. Steve turned on the pack of wild Hyenas, stepping over the carcass and started to descend on the two of you. Steve snarled deeply, the fur along his spine raising and his ruff bristling, turning his focus on the Hyenas Alpha Female as she stalked closer. Steve's fangs flashed in the dark, and his demands made her cower in surprise at the force coming from him. The rest of her pack stalling seeing their Alpha lower before him, to a male most of all. The laughter started to grow high pitched with unease at the situation. You ducked around the bristling Alpha, ears pinned back, rumbling back at her. The Hyena sensed they weren't just ordinary animals to be chased off. Wet dragging breaths overcame the scent of blood and decay from the carcass she had been feasting on, filling her lungs with ice cold sensations, unlike anything her kind had experienced before. They were similar to the Panthers that prowled their lands, except they weren't. Missing from the shifters was the muskiness of the jungle. Their scent was sharper, it stung her nose with a cold sensation. Even their bodies were not made for streaking across the sun soaked plains or traveling in heavy leaf cover. Too big, too much fur, muzzles long with fangs, yet not made to rip into thick animal hides like theirs was. They were just too different, and she didn't want to test what they would do to her. Shaking her head to clear their scent from her senses, she started sinking further back from the growling Alpha’s reach. Her laughing bark sent the wild hyenas scattering away, breaking their attack formation. Retreating back towards the carcass, once they fell back, she skirted away, out of Steve’s sight. 

Once she was gone, you brushed against Steve to ease him back to you, and the two of you turned away from where the hyenas were cackling out of sight, fighting once more among themselves over the carcass they had claimed. You headed back towards the jungle, avoiding the rest of the plains occupants. Which Steve was relieved, another reason for them to return home. At home, the forests belonged to them. There were no worries in what was lurking out of sight. In Wakanda it was all different, they were not the beast at the very top. Deciding it was enough for you both tonight, when you gave a wide mouthed, fang flashing yawn, you both returned to the palace, and made it up to your room. 

Once inside and the door closed, Steve backed you onto the bed, and settled over you, covering you in soft bites and whispered words pressed against your skin. “Are you tired Little One?” he let his tongue drag between your breasts while he lowered down your body slightly. Your hands roamed over his back, and rubbed the back of his neck while you arched into his mouth where he sucked a nipple into his warmth, lashing his tongue over the peak and then rolling you gently between his teeth. 

You hummed in satisfaction, letting your body roll underneath his while you turned your gaze down at Steve loving on your breasts, his hand had the other covered, kneading it lightly and using his thumb to tease the tip till it hardened. “Not too tired Alpha.” you admitted and he lifted his head with a grin. Leaning up to kiss you deeply while using a hand to spread your thighs open, in which you curled your legs around his waist. 

“That's good, cause I haven't stopped thinking about you wrapped around me like this all evening.” He said while he claimed you with a roll of his hips, filling you with him as his hands weaved with yours. It was soft and slow, taking his time to bring you to the point you were pleading softly against his shoulder for a release. Steve’s hand cupped the back of your head while kissing your temple, his hips starting to move faster in and out of you with a grunt of effort. It was quick when your pussy started to squeeze him and milk him, ready for his knot to lock you to him. Steve brought  you to the point of howling his name and clutching yourself around him, clinging to him and not able to let go. You settled on his chest, and let the silence bring a sense of calm and peace over both of you. When you two finally fell asleep, you were sprawled over his chest and sated. There was no need for words to end the day together. 

The dawn came to find you two still tangled around one another. 

T’Challa, Shuri and the Queen all waited for the two of you, the jet ready to be boarded. It was a teary goodbye for you and Shuri, growing rather close to the young woman in your time here, Steve firmly shook T’Challas hand with a thank you and bowed to the Queen. You let your hand slide up Steves' back as he rose once more, and you let your head lower, a flash of the back of your neck showing her your respect. 

“Thank you, everyone for your help. Should you ever need anything from us, please let us know. My Pack, and myself especially are indebted to you.” Steve said truthfully, and T’Challa smiled. 

“I'm sure we will see each other again Alpha, Y/N, have a safe travel home. Steve, I'm sure you are familiar with flying?” 

“Of course, we will have it sent back as soon as possible.” 

“That is all I ask.”

Finishing with goodbyes, you both stepped on the jet. You couldn't help the look of awe that slid over your face while Steve immediately fell into the Pilots chair, while you buckled into the co pilots. You watched as he leaned forward to flick on switches and the engine hummed to life. “Ready for home Little One?” He asked as his hands settled on the steering column. 

You wriggled in your seat and leaned in the window waving while speaking. “Absolutely, take us home Alpha.” 

When Steve heard what he wanted to har, he shifted the column, and the jet started lifting off. You squealed a bit as your heart went into your throat, laughing at the sensation. Steve grinned over at your reaction, taking your hand while he pointed the jet in the direction needed, and let it speed up. The flight home was filled with you questioning the dash of the aircraft, and Steve doing his best to teach you how it all worked. 

Of course T’Challa didn't send you all home empty handed, and once Steve landed the Jet just outside of the compound, and all the Pack came to greet Steve, you happened to stay inside a few more minutes. Exploring further, you happened to stumble on several crates in the back. “Steve? Come look at this.” 

Ducking his head back in, Steve went to find you, and located you kneeling next to one of the crates, trying to find how it opened. Steve was quick to pry open a top, and it was just filled with different items Wakanda specialized in. “Hey Sam, get some people up here, we come bearing gifts.” 

Fruity wine, dried food, clothing, weapons, if T’Challa could send it he did, and the rest of the afternoon was sorting through it together. 

Finally that evening found you pouring a glass of the wine for Sara at the island in Steve’s kitchen, telling Sara and Sam all about Wakanda. Steve now and then piped up, filling in the time you were unconscious to the world.

Once the questions died down, you cleared your throat. “Has anyone heard from Bucky, Clint, Wanda, and Pietro?” 

Sara sipped from her wine glass and shook her head, Sam at her side did the same motion. “Nothing yet. But Natasha was right out on their trail as soon as she got back. You know she wont stop till she finds something.” 

Steve poured himself a taste of the wine, and handed it to you afterwards to finish off. “She will probably check in a few days, let us know what's going on.” Glancing at the time and then outside, he nipped at your shoulder. “Ready for the Full Moon Run Little One?” 

You tipped your head back to drain the last swallow and set the glass down, hoping off the stool at the bar. 

“Yup, we will see you two out there.” You said to Sam and Sara, who waved you two off to give you a chance to shift in private. Racing out the door, you leaped off the porch, twisting on your toes to watch Steve, who paused to shed his shirt, grinning to himself at your enthusiasm. 

<We got lucky.> Your Little Wolf crooned, admiring the Alphas fit form as he started to stalk towards you, undoing his belt to slide out of the pants. 

That we did. 

You started to shed clothes, dancing just out of his reach till you started to run away, tossing your panties at him last before you fell into your wolf form, howling at him to hurry up. Steve made a show of inhaling against them before stuffing them in the back of his jeans pocket, quick to yank them off and toss them back towards his porch while you sprinted away, howling for him to come join you

<Welcome Home Steve. Now let's go get her before she is gone!> 

Welcome Home indeed. 

He shifted and paused at the tree line, his howl bursting through the night, signaling the start of the run, and he followed after You while you weaved among the trees, leading him deeper into their running grounds, back home where they belonged. 

[starlightrows]

Something of Your Own

Pairing: Din Djarin x reader

Words: 1.8k

Tags: Hurt Comfort, angst, happy ending 

Summary:  Din takes you in after your village is destroyed

AN: Originally posted on AO3 in November 2020 

Sitting against the wall in the hull of the ship, you rolled the small silver ball over towards the kid. He catches it and gets distracted looking at his tiny reflection again. He chirped happily, probably overjoyed to have a playmate on this lonely ship, and tries to roll it back.

You had only been traveling with the Mandalorian and his foundling son for a few months. So far it wasn’t so bad. You had been taking care of children almost your whole life, and this child was surprisingly easy to care for. Entertain him for most of the day, feed him often, hold him while he falls asleep, and he’s a perfect angel. Your new traveling companion had made him sound like a little terror. You supposed that was because he couldn’t afford to give all of his attention to him. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it. Well, that and having nowhere else to go.

The Mandalorian had come to your village asking if anyone had heard of a people called The Jedi. No one in the village had. You had never seen a Mandalorian before either. He had asked if there were other villages nearby he could ask. You offered him a place to stay for the night, and set out for the neighboring villages in the morning. He was reluctant, but the child seemed so attached to you. Continually trying to climb your skits and touch your face. So he agreed.

He regretted that decision. The nights on your planet were long, and dark. And his that darkness a massive ship flew overhead, landing on the outskirts of the village. Armored soldiers poured out of ship, and began breaking into homes. Demanding to know where to find the Mandalorian and his charge.

The Mandalorian awoke to screams and sound of blaster fire coming from somewhere else in the village. His helmet went on and he leaped from the bed, plucking the sleeping child from the pram, and yanking open the door to the bedroom. Only to find you at the door about to knock.

“Help us!” You shouted. He thrust the child into your arms, and went back to put on the few pieces of armor he had removed to sleep.

Coming back out of the room, he grabbed your shoulders roughly “Take the child back to my ship, lock yourself in there and do not let anyone in” You were frozen in terror, clutching the baby to your chest. “Go!” He shouted

So you did. Out the back door, and behind the row of homes and businesses you had lived in your whole life. Blindly you ran for the ship. The sound of your friends and neighbors screams pounded in your head, how the baby was sleeping through this you could not fathom.

Finally reaching the ship you climbed in, and sealed the door. You sunk to the floor, exactly where you sat now, and you waited. Tears streaming down your face. You had no idea how long you sat there, if you fell asleep at any point. The ship’s hull was pitch black and soundless, save for the soft breathing of the baby and your muffled crying.

The sound of the being opened from the outside scared you. Jumping to your feet, and retreating further into the darkness hoping you wouldn’t run into anything. Dull orange light streamed into the hull, and you heard your name being called out. It was the Mandalorian.

You emerged from the darkness, tired puffy eyes looking at him expectantly. Suddenly you were more terrified than you had been the entire night. Your village. Your home. Your whole life. What had happened? What was left?

You advanced towards him. But he stopped you with a gentle hand. “I’m sorry” that was the only thing he could say. An apology. Fresh tears sprang to your eyes. You pressed the child into his arms, and ran passed him.

You didn’t know what you would find when you got there. All you knew was you had to see it. You didn’t stop running until you saw the smoke rising from the ashes... your entire life had been reduced to rubble. You sobbed, like never before.

Eventually the Mandalorian had followed you back into the ruins of your village. He asked if there was somewhere you wanted to go, if you had friends or family. This was it. This was your whole life. You had nowhere to go. He offered to take you with him.

“Come with us. You can leave whenever you’d like. And I can pay you for your help with the kid,”

It was the only option you had, so here you were. Rocketing through the stars, on your way to an uncertain future, with a baby and a man who’s name you didn’t know and face you will never see.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of Mando’s footsteps descending the ladder from the cockpit. The baby toddled over to the landing, having lost all interest in the silver ball rolling back towards you. Mando bent down and picked up the child, he approached you as you stood up.

“We’ll be landing soon,” he told you “There’s someone I need to talk to on this planet. And they have a market where we can resupply”

You nod quietly. After these last few months, you were still mourning the loss of your village. Going into towns and markets on other planets was exciting but it made you long for home. You had never left your home world, visiting other planets exposed you to things you never would have imagined in your wildest dreams.

Planets covered in dense forests, others with endless expanses of water, not to long ago you had been to a planet that had man made structures covering every surface area... You had come from a farming planet, that sold crops and livestock to intergalactic traders. You knew there were other worlds in the universe, other species, but it was so much more vast than you could have imagined.

The planet you were visiting today was beautiful. Enormous mountains jutted from the ground, fields of tall grass and wildflowers, and clear springs. The village was busy, full of travelers stopping for more fuel, supplies, a place to stay for the night, or just somewhere to stretch their legs and breathe fresh air.

Mando watched as you step off of the ship, holding his son.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” You asked the child softly. He replied in his garbled little chirps.

Mando felt his chest tighten. The guilt of being the reason you had nowhere to go weighed heavily on him. But bringing you to beautiful places like this, that you may have otherwise never experienced made him feel a little bit better. He didn’t want to admit he was taking you to some of the more interesting places he had visited in his travels, and tried to find nice places for you to stay and take care of the baby when he had to catch a bounty.

“Ready?” He asked. You smiled and nodded, following him towards the town.

Every time they stopped a new planet, Mando knew there was a chance you would not continue with him. But if truth be told, he didn’t want that to happen. He had grown fond of you these last few months. Having a second set of hands around to do things on the ship and someone to make sure the kid was always looked after, were more than welcome. But it was more than that, it was you. You were kind, and gentle. Respectful of his culture, and eager to learn and see everything. He didn’t want you to find a new place to settle. But that wasn’t his choice to make.

He thought about this as you walked together through the market. You held the child against your chest, letting him look out at all of the people and shops. You pointed out various things to him, and spoke with such care.

He left you with some credits, and instructions on where to meet back up with him when you were done shopping and he was finished with his meeting. He had been trying to give you more credits than you needed recently. A couple weeks back, he had snapped at you in a hurry to leave the planet he had left you and kid on for a few days...

“Get your things, we’re leaving”

You stood up, with the child in your arms and walked out of the small inn. He didn’t miss your words under your breath as you passed him.

“I don’t have any things,”

You were right, all you had was the clothes on your back. And the credits he gave you after returning from cashing in on bounties. It was his fault, and he knew it.

You walked around the market, trying to make sure you had enough of a variety of foods to take with you onto the ship. You picked up some strips of bandage cloth, and bacta pads as well. Your companion made more use of those than you would like to admit.

You passed by a clothing stall, and stopped short. Looking down at the kid in his tan robes. It wouldn’t hurt to get him a second set, he did get dirty a lot when you stayed on a planet for a few days. You stepped into the stall, and began looking to find children’s clothing.

The fabric the clothing is made of on this planet is so vastly different from the clothes your own people wore. You ran your fingers over a pair of dark brown trousers.

“What do you think little friend?” You asked the child “maybe we both need something new”

Mando approached the massive shade tree, seeing you and the baby leaning against the trunk and sharing a piece of fruit. He saw that you had several packages of supplies for the ship sitting next to you, and a leather pack. He also noticed the child wore new, grey robes. And you. You wore new well fitting trousers, tunic, boots and coat. He couldn’t help but notice how attractive you looked. The child scampered towards him, and raised his little arms. He shouldered the child, and offered you a hand to stand up.

“You look nice,” he said, somewhat dumbly.

“Thank you,” you replied, taking his hand. You gathered the packages and supplies. “I figured I would need some better clothes if I’m gonna keep up with the little womp rat” You scritched behind the child’s floppy ears. The baby cooed at your touch.

Mando felt comforted walking back to the ship. If you were willing to spend money on things to better help you take care of the kid, maybe you would stay longer.

Din Djarin Tag List: @spideysimpossiblegirl

[make-me-imagine]

🍫13 Days of Halloween: Day 6

Prompts: “Where is all the Halloween candy?” “I don’t know” “Y/n”  

((Prompt changed slightly to match characterization))

Requested by: Anonymous

Pairing: Reader x M*A*S*H Unit (Platonic)

Gender: Neutral      Triggers: None

Words: 1,585     Genre: Humor; Hijinks

Note: Thank you for requesting M*A*S*H! I hope I did it justice~ The time-line might not match up, but whatever. 

You sat down with a sigh as Hawkeye and B.J. fixed themselves a drink, Radar scribbled on his notepad, while Potter sat nearby tapping his finger against his chin. 

“So after post op, we’ll invite the nearby villagers, hand out a bunch of candy to the kiddies, and then we’ll have ourselves a nice party” Potter recited as Radar nodded along.

“Sounds like a pretty good plan” you replied “How does Frank feel about it?” 

“He doesn’t know yet” Hawkeye said, coming to sit next to you “We don’t think it’s necessary to tell his highness, he’ll complain about it either way”

“Who knows, maybe he’ll think it’s a grand idea” B.J. suggested as he sat on his own cot. 

“It’s Frank, B.J., his grand idea of a Halloween party would include everyone dressed in their fatigues dancing 6-feet apart to the tune of the star spangled banner.”

You smiled at Hawkeyes comment as he turned to you “So Y/n, have you decided what you’re going to wear?”

You shrugged “Probably something in a khaki color” you tugged on your pants as you spoke, knowing you had nothing to really wear. 

“Oh come on, you gotta dress up, we are!” B.J. said

“I’d love to dress up Beej but I have nothing to wear, I ordered a costume but it never came, I asked Klinger but he’s already given half of his clothes to the rest of the camp to wear.”

Hawkeye patted your leg, leaving his hand on your knee “We’ll find something.”

“I don’t know if I’d want to wear something you’d suggest” you replied with a note of suspicion. 

Hawkeye gave you an offended look “I have great taste in clothes!”

“You’re idea for a costume would be my birthday suit.”

“Oh, now that is an idea” he replied with a smirk, making you roll your eyes.

“Uh, Sir” Radar spoke up

“Yes Radar.” Potter asked

“There is just one problem with all of this” 

“What’s that Radar? You’re costume come in the wrong size?” B.J. quipped.

“Huh? Oh, no it's fine, well actually it is a little big, but that’s not it, I just, uh but  the requisition order for Halloween candy never came in. We’ve got some, but not enough for all the kids and for our party” 

You frowned at the news “And everyone donated money and or candy already?” 

“Yep, I mean everyone but Major Burns, but that’s because he still doesn’t know about the party”

You, Hawk and B.J. all exchanged knowing looks. Just as you did Frank came bumbling into the swamp, large package in hand “What’s that Frank?” Hawkeye asked.

“None of your beeswax!” Frank yelled aggressively, turning, he sees Potter “Oh, Colonel, hello”

You chuckled quietly at his sudden change in demeanor as he set down the package with a thud. “What’s in the box Burns?” Potter asked repeating Hawkeyes question.

“Oh. Uh, just a package from home” he answered as he began to open the package. 

“That’s nice. Well, in other news, Frank, we’re thinking of throwing a little soiree for Halloween, you got any candy you can donate, or money so we can buy some?” Potter asked. 

“A soiree? Sir that’s highly un-military” you and the others rolled your eyes as he began “And to answer your question, no, I don’t have any candy to donate, and I wont donate any money for your party” just as he answered, he opened the box, which was chock full of various candy bars and other bags of Halloween candy.

You and the others stood and hovered as you pointed at the box “Now you do!”

“What?! No, this is from my family, you can’t have it!”

“Oh come on Frank” Hawkeye began “We don’t want it all, just donate some! There’s no way you can eat all that yourself!”

“Just watch me!” Frank yelled as he stood, box in hand as he exited the swamp, dropping a couple pieces of candy on the way, which Radar scooped up.

You and the others exchanged annoyed looks as you watched Frank run across the courtyard, clearly towards Margaret’s quarters. “Oh, we’ll get that candy Frank” Hawkeye muttered quietly, so only you and B.J. could hear.

-

After a few failed attempts at retrieving the candy from Frank, Hawkeye and B.J. were about to give up, but tried one more time the day of the party as they cornered Frank in post-op “Where’s the candy Frank?” Hawkeye asked. 

“We just want some, for the kids Frank, think of the kids!” B.J. cut in.

“I don’t care, they’re not my kids! It doesn’t matter anyway, I ate it all” Frank said with a smug look on his face. 

Hawkeye scoffed “Frank if you ate all that candy then you’d be comatose.”

Frank scowled at Hawkeye as he turned to leave, Hawkeye and B.J. shared an exasperated look as they followed him out. Looking around, they see the nearby locals arriving, kids excited for having been told they’d be given candy.

“Frank, what can we do for you to to grow a heart and donate some of that candy?” B.J. asked.

Frank turned, seeming to think it over “You can’t make any jokes at me for the next month! And you must act accordingly in my presence, salutes and all!” 

Hawkeye and B.J. shared a look of disdain “Fine, fine! Just show us the candy Frank” B.J. muttered out

Frank smirked at them as he turned, leading them towards Margaret's tent, where he had been hiding the candy. You had been walking across the camp as came across them “What’s up guys?” 

“Frank agreed to give us some of the candy”

“Oh, is that so?” you asked, something in your voice that made B.J. and Hawkeye hesitate, but continued to follow Frank as you tagged along.

Entering into the tent, Frank opened up the closet pulling out the box. As he opened it, the three of you stood behind him watching. Hawkeye glanced at you, you met his eyes for a moment and smirked, making him curious. 

“Hey!” Frank called, earning all of your attention.

He dumped out the box, and all that fell out were some cans of corn and some loose pieces of candy. “He really did eat it all” B.J. muttered in disbelief. 

“Or maybe Margarete had a midnight craving” Hawkeye quipped before looking down at Frank “Where’s the candy Frank?” he asked, clearly frustrated.

“How am I supposed to know, it was in here earlier!”

“Maybe the candy-man took it” you joked, clearly not bothered by the missing candy. 

Hawkeye and B.J. looked at you, gathering you had something to do with it. And so did Frank. Standing, he eyed you “Where is the Halloween candy?” 

You looked at him, feigning offense while shrugging “I don’t know”

“Captain L/n” Frank began, pointing his finger at you, stopping only when the sudden sound of happy yelling children distracted you. 

Frank walked away, looking out of the tent, seeing a large group of kids jumping around as Father Mulcahy and a few nurses began handing out candy. Frank squinted as he looked closer “Hey! That’s my candy!”

As this was happening Hawkeye and B.J. looked back at you, amusement on their faces, knowing you had to be the one to do this. You looked at them, winking as they laughed out loud. 

Frank turned in anger, pointing his finger at all of you “I know you did this, you stole from me. After I get back my candy, I- I’ll, I’ll have you all on report!” 

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna go take your candy back from those kids Frank?!” B.J. asked incredulously. 

“I know you have stooped low before Frank but don’t tell me you’d actually take candy from a baby?” Hawkeye asked.

Frank opened his mouth to speak but stopped, turning and looking at the kids and then turning back “Well, why shouldn’t I? It’s my candy!”

You all rolled your eyes, as Margaret jogged up, “Oh, Major Burns you are so kind!”

“Oh, uh, thank you Margar- Uh I mean Major Houlihan, but uh, what are you talking about?” 

“Well, Captain L/n told me you had donated all that candy, and now look at all the kids they’re having so much fun!” she spoke with a wide smile.

Frank, Hawk and B.J. all turned to look at you as you stared at Frank with a blank face, hands in your pockets “Frank certainly is a kind and generous man isn’t he?” you asked, no emotion in your voice. 

“Oh he really is!” Margaret said as he smiled widely at Frank.

Frank hesitated, looking between you and Margaret “Oh, well, we do what we can Major” he feigned, taking the credit as you internally rolled your eyes.

Margaret suddenly pulled Frank away and towards the group of kids. Feeling pressure on both your shoulders, you look back and forth seeing both Hawkeye and B.J. resting their arms on your shoulder “Here we were, threatening him to give us the candy, and you swept in like a thief in the night” B.J. commented, still amused.

“Well now that that’s over” Hawkeye paused looking down at you with a smile “I’ve got a costume for you I think you’ll like” he smirked

“Oh no” you muttered. 

Hawkeye’s smirk only grew as he and B.J. shared a knowing look “Oh, yes”. Hawkeye looped his arm through yours as he began to drag you towards the Swamp, B.J. following behind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Again, this was my first time writing for M*A*S*H, so I’m not sure if I did it justice lol, but I hoped you like it anyways. And please request more M*A*S*H in the future! I did enjoy writing for it and the characters!!

Please consider reblogging this, as this is a very small fandom, so reblogging it would be one of the best ways to spread it to other MASH lovers :)

[fanfics-of-marvel]

Tony dies and Natasha is devastating by her boyfriend’s death until he comes back as an angel with beautiful wings. I keep things simple so your creativity isn’t withheld. Love your work!

Hello @chuckshurleyfucks

Remember me? You sent me this really great prompt so long ago and I am really sorry this comes after so much time! :( I don’t have much time to write and often I’m away from tumblr for some time. But I told myself that I’ll finish each and every request in my inbox NO MATTER WHAT and I fianlly had the chance to write yours. :)

I really hope it resembles what you desired to read and I can only hope it was worth the wait!

------------------------------------------------

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Release date: 21/04/21

Pairing: Tony Stark x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Tony dies in an accident and Natasha is devastated. After the funeral, however, she has an unexpected meeting with him.

Words count: 3 139

A/N: I guess I could call it a magical AU :)

Warnings: None, maybe a little bit of angst

Requests | Masterlist

I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes.

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

------------------------------------------------

“Tony Stark was a great man,” Rhody’s voice echoed in the capacious room in the Avengers Headquarters. “Despite being Tony Stark”.

Laughter rose among the attendants. Natasha smiled, too. For the first smile since the accident.

A picture of Tony himself filled the giant screen behind Rhody. He turned around and looked at his best friend. Nobody could see but his eyes were watery. Rhody turned back to the crowd.

“Is it me or was his head actually this size?” he said as he pointed at the enormous photo of Tony projected on the wall.

Everyone laughed again. Even louder than before. Natasha’s smile was even bigger.

‘Oh, it was,’ she thought to herself.

After the ceremony was over Natasha retired to their room. She closed the door behind her and leaned upon its massive structure. She stared at the empty bed with an even emptier gaze. It looked bigger now.

Natasha waddled to the wardrobe. She pushed the door and walked inside an even bigger room. The lights turned on automatically. It was Tony and Natasha’s private wardrobe. She walked to the hangers holding Tony’s suits. Natasha slowly slid her hand upon one of them and closed her eyes. She pictured her loved one in it on Wanda and Vision’s wedding. He was smiling, he was laughing, life was flowing through his veins.

‘Congratulations,’ he had said hugging the newlywed couple.

‘Thank you, Mr. Stark’, Vision had replied. ‘Perhaps, sir, now it is your turn,’ he had added nodding towards Natasha.

Tony had looked at his girlfriend across the garden with twinkling eyes. ‘Perhaps, it is,’ he had whispered heard only by the bride and groom.

Natasha opened her eyes and a tear slid down her face. Her skin was still moist from all the preceding crying. She let the tear flow down freely. Its final destination was on her bosoms.

Natasha walked towards another suit. She held it with both her hands and shove her face at it. She took a deep breath and breathed in the leftover aroma from Tony’s perfume. He wore this suit just a week ago. As Natasha sniffed the fabrics she could hear Tony speaking.

“All just for you, my love,” he said while unfolding the blindfold upon Natasha’s eyes.

“Tony,” she gasped at the view of the beautifully decorated gazebo in the garden surrounded by flowers and burning candles.

It was a hot summer night. The air was filled with the sweet scent of the flowers. The discreet light of the candles provided perfect view of the stars above them. Crickets played a lovely concerto.

“Tonight it’s just you and me,” Tony said with tenderness and he literally meant it for the waiters were a few droids from his Iron Legion.

The night was going as planned and Tony knew there was only one final thing missing to make it perfect.

“Nat,” he said holding Natasha’s hands. “There is something I want to ask you. But you need to close your eyes.”

Natasha curved her lips in a smile and closed her eyes. She suspected what was to follow but it still took her by surprise.

“You can open them now,” Tony said with noticeable nervousness in his voice.

Natasha opened her eyes and a specific reflected light crossed her eyes. She looked down and saw the most beautiful diamond upon a ring. Her eyes met with Tony’s. They were sparkling even brighter than the diamond.

“Nat, will you marry me?”

Natasha sobbed. She had taken the ring box out of the internal pocket of the suit jacket. She opened it and looked at the ring. It seemed even more beautiful now. Out of fear not to lose it she kept it there safe during their final mission.

Natasha let it all out. The most gruesome sound exited her. Tears were falling down her face. She leaned towards the wall and slowly slid down. She was panting. The memory was too strong, too vibrant. She laid down completely squeezing the ring box at her chest. She closed her eyes and heard the bombarding again.

Two days ago Tony and Natasha were on what seemed to be nothing more than a routine mission. There was a minor terrorist attack just outside the city in which a small group of people threw grenades and shot at the nearby houses, stores, and cars. Agents of Tony and Natasha’s class weren’t needed at all but Tony had a thing against terrorists, so he couldn’t miss destroying some more. Natasha had joined him in the last moment. She always said he needed her back up, especially on the ground. Besides, she loved watching her future husband kicking ass in his latest Iron Man suit.

Natasha was smiling playfully as she observed Tony far up in the sky threatening the puny terrorists on the ground. His voice could be heard loud and clear even down there thanks to a special technology which he had recently developed. The three men seemed terrified and were yelling some words in Arabic, their arms were in the air and they dropped their weapons.

‘Easy peasy’, everyone thought at this view. The S.H.E.I.L.D. agents were looking at Tony with admiration wishing they had what he had and hoping that someday they’d possess at least half of Tony’s authority.

Natasha was smiling smugly and was already packing her ‘toys’ which she obviously wouldn’t need during this mission when she heard it. Loud thundering sounds coming from very near. She quickly looked around trying to figure out where did the sound come from. But before she managed to make a full turn the wave from the explosions threw her few meters behind. For a moment sand and dirt fell all over her face. A high-pitched noise rang in her ears. Her head felt heavy and dizzy, the world around her was spinning.

An impenetrable fog of sand and dust surrounded Natasha. The only thing she could perceive was the distant thunders of bombing and shooting. Except that it wasn’t distant. It was right there, so very close to her but her hearing was impaired. So when she heard that raw gruesome sound of metal hitting the ground hard she hadn’t whatsoever realized it was Tony himself. Natasha closed her eyes and felt completely senseless.

When she finally opened her eyes the world was still spinning but the high-pitched sound was getting weaker. Natasha couldn’t know how long she’d been on the ground unconscious.

‘Ambush,’ she thought to herself as she groaned trying to get up. Her legs were really unstable but somehow she managed to remain standing.

“Tony,” she tried to speak but barely any sound came out of her lips.

The sound of the bombing had seized. Now she could hear some distant noise of people screaming and could distinguish silhouettes running around.

“Tony!” Natasha shouted as loud as she could. The sound was still very quiet but she started to regain her senses.

The more Natasha walked towards those people, the better she could hear and see. The fog was clearing up and everything hitherto shapeless started to fall into pieces.

“Agent Romanoff, are you alright?” Natasha noticed a fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in front of her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. What happened? Where’s Tony?”

“There was an ambush, ma’am,” the man continued speaking. “After those three terrorists seemed to be surrendering there was whole artillery that appeared out of the blue hiding underneath enormous canvases that had perfectly blended with the landscape. They hit us unexpectedly, ma’am. They threw bombs, grenades and every hellish explosive you can think of,” the man stopped talking as if there was something more which he just didn’t want to say.

“Well, where’s Tony, then?” Natasha was persistent. There was no getting out of this.

The man sighed. The dust had almost completely settled, so Natasha could see his face quite clearly. There was something bad written in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, agent Romanoff,” the man finally said pointing away in a direction to her right.

Natasha followed his finger and with terror noticed the Iron Man suit lying on the ground in a little crater.

“Tony!” Natasha shouted and ran towards him.

Due to the shock from the explosions her legs and balance were still compromised, so she tripped and fell two times until she managed to get to Tony. He was lying on his back but from the traces of the impact it was clear that he hadn’t fallen that way and had been moved from the agents.

A paramedic was examining him as Natasha walked near. Her facial expression and eyes showed fear. The strongest fear she had ever felt in her entire life. Abruptly, her whole body started trembling, she couldn’t catch breath and tears flew down her face.

Tony was lying in his forcefully opened Iron Man suit covered in blood and bruises. She could barely recognize his face which seemed twisted now. The suit had absorbed part of the impact but he had fallen from a great height.

The paramedic was looking down shaking his head. A defibrillator lied near him obviously recently used. His colleague took a deep breath and then Natasha heard the worst words in her entire life.

“Time of death,” said the second paramedic and looked at his watch. “1:03 p.m.”

“No!” Natasha screeched so loudly that the two paramedics jumped startled. They hadn’t noticed her presence beforehand.

She gathered a whole lot of looks from other agents, as well. Some of which were also still unaware of the tragedy.

“Tony,” Natasha barely made a sound as she fell on her knees next to his dead body. Tears were falling down her face and she could barely breathe.

The two paramedics discreetly recoiled. They had to take care of the body but also knew they had to give Natasha a moment.

She gently placed her hands upon his distorted face. His blood was already drying but his skin was still warm. So warm as if he was still alive. Could it be that the paramedics were wrong? Natasha slowly slid her right hand and felt his carotid. No pulse.

Why had they given up? Natasha examined more of Tony’s body. There were noticeable fractures on his chest and abdomen. He definitely had broken ribs and most likely suffered from a punctured lung for his chest was purple and bloody. Some of the blood upon his face had surely flowed from his mouth.

There was no doubt. Tony Stark was dead and the tries of the paramedics had been unsuccessful.

“Agent Romanoff,” the paramedic spoke. “I’m really sorry but we need to take the body. It’s the protocol,” he paused for a moment. “You can see his body again at the mortuary.”

Natasha knew the protocol very well. She had followed it a little too many times with fellow agents. And she always kept in mind she might have to follow it with Tony, as well. Or he with her. She had always hoped for the latter one. As cruel as it sounded to prefer to cause Tony such pain she hoped she’d never have to live it herself because she would be the dead one.

“Goodbye, Tony,” Natasha quietly said and kissed his forehead.

Then she got up and walked away. She heard the team preparing to take his body. She kept on walking and never looked back.

Natasha looked at the ring. It dispersed the light from the ceiling so beautifully that the entire wardrobe was shining bright. She hadn’t put it on ever since she took it off for their final mission together.

With trembling hands Natasha took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. She was much calmer now. The tears upon her face had started drying. She remembered about the dinner on which he proposed to her. A smile appeared on her face. It was sad that Tony was gone but it was a virtue to have had him in her life.

“Natasha,” a barely perceptible sound.

Natasha looked up and around her. She thought she heard a noise but assumed it was nothing.

“Natasha,” there was it again. This time a little louder.

“Who’s in there?” she asked confused and a little concerned. Nobody else had access to their bedroom. “Rhody, is that you?” she got up and walked towards the wardrobe’s door. The sound seemed to be coming from the bedroom.

“Natasha,” this time she heard it more clearly.

She stopped sharply right at the door. The voice sounded like Tony’s. Her eyes got watery and her breathing stopped for a moment. Could it be?

“Nat,” he said again this time very clearly. “It’s me.”

There was a very bright white light coming from the bedroom. Natasha slowly walked out of the wardrobe. She gasped and dropped the ring box.

Tony was floating in the air just above their bed bathed with beautiful heavenly light. He was dressed in all white and behind him there were big beautiful angel wings. Even though Tony was being Tony Natasha had always known that he was just like this on the inside – a beautiful angel.

“Tony?” she said with trembling voice.

“Hello, my love.” Tony spoke with a tender and soothing voice.

Natasha’s lower lip trembled. She never thought she’d see him again.

“Tony? Is that really you?” she asked with a hoarse voice.

“Yes, my love. It’s me,” Tony replied with a gentle smile.

Natasha shook her head. This all must have been an illusion. She assumed it was the shock and all of the emotions from the past week which were playing with her mind. Or perhaps she had fallen asleep in the wardrobe.

“Come here,” Tony said as he floated down and stepped on the floor facing her. He outstretched his hands and gently placed them at the sides of her face.

Natasha shuddered at the touch. It felt so real. She lifted her hands as well. Tony’s face was warm again.

He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. Natasha’s knees felt weaker.

“How is this possible?” Natasha asked after Tony moved away.

“The ring,” Tony said as he took her hand in his. “It’s a very special stone. It’s connected to my soul.”

Natasha gasped. How?

“More magical things than Doctor Strange exist on this world,” Tony said wittily. “And I got my hands on this,” he pointed at the stone upon the ring. “As long as you wear it I will always know where you are, I will always feel you, and I will always be your guardian angel.”

“I want you back, Tony,” Natasha said with hope.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, Nat,” a bitter smile.

Not the reply she wanted to hear.

“But I will always be with you,” Tony said gently fondling her cheek. “I will be a barely perceptible presence. Always there next to you, just one breath away. You might sometimes spot me with the corner of your eye. But you will never be able to see me,” tears fell down Natasha’s face. “You will always be showered in my heavenly light. And you will always be protected by my angel wings,” Tony held her left hand. “As long as you wear the ring,” he smiled softly.

Natasha looked down at her hand gently placed in Tony’s. His skin was so warm, so alive. She had to check. Her right hand slid upon his wrist. Her fingers found the spot.

Nothing.

Tony had no pulse.

“Oh, my love,” Tony whispered softly.

Natasha’s whole body was trembling. Her hand did another check-up.

Strong lively heart rate. Slightly accelerated.

“If I take my pulse away will I be able to be with you?” she stammered in tears.

“Oh, Nat,” Tony sighed. “Great things await you. The world needs your protection.”

“The world needs your protection.”

Tony fondled her face again. “The only one who needs my protection is you.”

“But I want you here with me,” Natasha burst into tears. “Next to me, all of the time. Fighting beside me, kissing me, loving me,” she was falling apart. “Please, Tony,” Natasha wrapped her arms around him and shove her face at his chest weeping.

Tony placed his hands on Natasha’s head as his wings surrounded her. Natasha calmed down in an instant. She felt completely relaxed and balanced. There was warmness and peace.

Natasha placed her ear next to Tony’s chest. But it was an empty chest. There was no treasure for her in there.

“Nat, stop searching for my heart here,” Tony said. “You know it’s there,” he placed his fingers upon her chest. “I gave it to you long time ago. And it’s where it will always be.”

Natasha felt warmness in her chest. For a moment it seemed like there were two hearts beating as one. She smiled gazing into Tony’s eyes. She didn’t want this moment to end.

“Now you need some sleep,” Tony said and holding Natasha’s hand he pulled her towards the bed.

“I don’t want to go to sleep. That means time not spent with you,” Natasha objected.

“Shhh, my love,” Tony gently placed his finger upon her lips. “I’ll be right next to you.”

He laid down on one side and his angel wing was spread on the bed. Natasha joined him and lied upon it. He embraced her with his arms and then with his wings. It took her seconds to fall asleep perfectly calm and relaxed feeling completely protected for the first time in her life.

When Natasha woke up the next morning she was alone on the bed. There was no trace of Tony. She looked at her left hand. The ring was there reflecting the light just as beautifully. She wondered about last night. Did it all happen or was it a dream? She assumed it was the latter and got out of bed. She had fallen asleep with clothes on and smutched make-up. She needed a shower.

Just as Natasha was about to walk in the bathroom she spotted a barely perceptible presence with the corner of her eye. She turned around startled but didn’t see anybody. Her breathing quickened. She rubbed her eyes assuming it was sleepiness and tiredness.

When Natasha calmed down she could swore she felt somebody else’s breath at the side of her face. She felt calm and relaxed. There was a warm feeling surrounding her. She slid her hands at the sides of her arms sinking in the feeling and closed her eyes. Her right hand touched her chest. Two hearts beating as one.

Natasha smiled. She opened her eyes and stared into the nothingness in front of her. There was something she could spot with the corner of her eye. A barely perceptible presence watching over her as her guardian angel.

------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! If you liked it please react - reply/like/reblog! Your support is appreciated!

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

[themagicmistress]

He finds her in a back alley dumpster, head down, fur matted in ugly, spotted clumps that speak of long, hungry months and too few meals.

When Magnus fishes out a piece of jerky from his front pocket, she doesn’t even growl at him. Instead, her tail wags lightly, shifting the dust around behind her.

“Hey, buddy,” he mutters, approaching slow. “What’re you doing all alone out here?”

There’s a flash of tooth that has him retracting his fingers, and the jerky is scarfed down as she tears into it, messy. Her muzzle is grey, he notes, the fur around her scruff shot through with thin lines of silver. She sniffs after finishing and then growls when he reaches his hand out.

Magnus freezes. “Hey,” he starts, “it’s okay. I’m alright, I’m not gonna hurt you.” She gives him dubious eyes, pupils big and black, cautious in a way that hurts his soul. “Really,” he promises.

She leans her wet doggy nose forward and sniffs the palm of his hand, leaning her head down and giving him permission to scratch the back of her ears.

Well, he’d always wanted a dog, right? Magnus still wanted a dog, in fact. It’d been ages since he’d gotten to take care of one. Since he’s woken up to paws on his chest, a tail bouncing against his legs. It’d been a long time. Maybe too long.

She doesn’t resist when he picks her up and brings her to the vet either.

The first thing she does when Magnus brings her home is bound across his home. He runs in after her. “Julia!” he calls out, half-laughing despite himself. “I’ve got a surprise! Make sure the studio is closed.” God, he hopes he closed it before leaving.

He rushes into the kitchen to find her with an armful of German Shepherd, hands awkwardly wrapped around fur and a pattern of muddy pawprints up the side of her skirt. Julia turns to him, eyes alight, a delighted little grin dancing across her face. Her fingers are stained with wood polish and the sunlight makes her deep brown skin glow through the kitchen window.

“Is this delightful little lady the surprise?” Julia coos to her, and the dog in her arms licks the side of her face, flat pink tongue leaving a streak of saliva behind. She laughs in bright peals. “Hi, honey, you’re a good girl, aren’t you?”

“You don’t mind?” Magnus edges awkwardly. “Ah, I’m sorry, I know I didn’t ask and this is your home too.” He falters and doesn’t continue. He doesn’t want to bring her back.

Given the mock-offended look she gives him, his girlfriend doesn’t either.

“This cutie? Absolutely not,” Julia clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “Mine now. But maybe yours for a couple seconds. Can you take her? My fingers are sticky and I don’t want to get anymore polish in her fur.”

“Oh! Yeah, here,” Magnus helps the no-longer stray to the ground.

He finally manages to tear his eyes away from Julia and sees a row of wooden bows on the kitchen counter, carefully propped up on long planks as to not get any polish on the table. Reality doesn’t quite come crashing down, because the rebellion is an ever-present weight in the back of his mind, but his chest tightens at the reminder.

Their new dog sniffs slightly at his side. “Just trying to bulk up for the final push against Kalen,” Julia says, turning to wash her hands in the sink. “I have about thirty more in the studio. What do you think?”

Magnus plucks one of the strings. It twangs under his fingers. “Jules?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m not sure if everyone’s gonna be able to fire these?” He says unsurely. “I mean, the workmanship is excellent, and they look great, but…”

Julia frowns at them, tapping at one near the end of the counter to check for tackiness before holding it up. Careful, she pulls back the string and her biceps flex as it draws back with ease. Magnus gulps. Her eyes dance, mischievous and knowing as she puts it back down before she draws a breath.

“Yeah,” Julia grimaces at the row of bows, “I see what you mean. I’ll re-string them a bit later. Forget about work for now, did you have a name in mind for her?”

The dog jumps up onto his legs, paws on his pants and Magnus reaches down a fond hand to scratch between her ears. “I was thinking,” he hesitates, “what do you think about ‘Star?’”

It’s not quite right. It doesn’t feel wrong, but it’s just shy of the goalpost, like biting into banana bread without chocolate chips in it: not bad, but weird. Julia still nods, face warming as she looks at the new addition to their home.

“I like it.”

~

He’ll find them together on their off-days, few and far between, Star curled in Julia’s lap as she takes the time to read one of those detective novels she loves, but never has the chance to look at.

Star will look at her with pleading eyes whenever his girlfriend strays too far to the door, leash dragging after her. Star follows her around the house too, so much that they’ve had to install another, gated door in the entrance to the workshop because she’ll try to wander in if they’ve forgotten to close it behind them. During strategic meetings for the rebellion, Magnus will look around the planning room and Star will be around Julia’s legs because everyone they know is at the meeting too and they can’t leave her home alone.

The revolution is no place for a dog. It’s no place to have a life either, but then, he plans to do something about that.

It’s apparent to both of them who the favourite is. “Who’s the best girl in the whole wide world?” Julia says to Star, a goopy grinning mess on her feet in their bed.

“Love you,” Magnus says: to Star, to Julia. To whatever gave him a home, a better future on the horizon, a family he loves, and a ring with a wooden rose carved on top, tucked away in the second drawer of their bedside table.

She shifts closer to him, a warm weight at his side.

Julia pulls his chin to her and plants a kiss on his lips, warm and soft. Then, she pulls back and Magnus blinks, dazed but happy.

“Say that again,” She tells him, eyebrow quirked. “But this time, don’t make it sound like a goodbye, alright?” 

Magnus grins, a little sheepish. “I love you, Jules.”

A pleased grin spreads across her face. “I love you too.”

The week after Governor Kalen goes down, they take some time off to go to the park, toss around a ball. Magnus actually brought five balls, because he keeps throwing them a little too enthusiastically and they go bouncing outside the gates of the park.

“No, girl,” Julia giggles as Star jumps up onto her pants, “bring it back to Magnus, okay? Oh, alright, fine.” She seems to begrudgingly add another stick to her pile.

A guy nearby grumbles about the lack of sticks in the park and Magnus raises his voice. “Hey, Jules? Didja know they’ve been calling me ‘hero of the people?’” Magnus watches him pale and proceed to fuck off with no small amount of petty satisfaction.

“Yeah, babe! I know!”

“Isn’t that a great name!”

“I like ‘Maggie’ better!” Jules yells back and throws a stick. Magnus gets knocked over as a ball of fur collides hard with him and when he manages to push himself up, she’s laughing so hard her hands are wrapped around her stomach and her face is red.

“Just stand there,” Magnus shouts back, grinning too, “see if I care. Our dog loves me more than you and I’m pretty sure she just gave me a concussion!”

Julia throws another stick and they have learned nothing from their mistakes because this time Magnus really does get a concussion.

~

He finds her across the bridge that once connected to the Craftsmens’ Corridor, snout between her paws, fur coated in dust so thick she looks like a grey dog instead of a brown and black one. Magnus searches for Julia, upturns every outcropping of Raven’s Roost just in case there’s some chance she might have made it out, that she might have survived. Then, he does the same for Kalen, but for very different reasons. When he can’t find either of them, Magnus cries into Star’s fur.

He sets up a camp on the outside of town, just a little tent, something to put a roof over Star’s head. Magnus sleeps with her at his side and he is always cold, with the damp forest grass soaking through the thin layer between him and the ground, the clothes on his back that do nothing to warm his fingers, and each breath calcifying in his lungs like liquid nitrogen. Star becomes the only warm thing about him.

The first day after he sets up camp, Magnus wakes up to find her gone.

“Star?” he calls out, instantly alert. “Star?” Magnus bounds out of the tent, having slept in his clothes, and yells out to the forest. “Star? Girl, are you out there?” He searches, half-blind and panicked, not realizing where his feet are taking him until he’s there.

She’s at the edge of the cliff again, staring hopefully out over the two posts where a bridge once connected to his home. There is no bridge anymore. There’s no Craftsmens’ Corridor and instead there lies the open ocean, stretching in front of him for endless miles.

He walks to her side in a daze, a dream-like state. The horizon’s wrong, he thinks. From Hammer and Tongs, he could see the ocean, breathtaking and unending. Here, the other stone outcroppings lay scattered and empty to his right, marring his fantasy that for just a second, he’s home again.

“C’mon, Star,” Magnus mutters. She doesn’t move or look at him, just staring out over the water. He can’t find it in himself to tear her away, so he doesn’t. They sit there together until the sun goes down.

The next day, he wakes to find Star gone again.

Magnus keeps going there with her, leaving only to find them food. He goes to the cliffside in his dreams until there is no difference between his waking hours and sleeping hours. He always wakes up, disappointed that his wife’s never in them.

Eventually, he has to drag himself away. Star needs food, actual dog food and that takes money. 

At first, he leaves her with the Burringters, a family with a little girl that shrieks in delight at the sight of Star. They’re some of the last stragglers on their way out of town.

“Make sure she has her ball when she’s feeling nippy,” Magnus tells Mrs. Burringter and places a ratty green ball in her hand with long tooth marks gouged into its sides. “Sometimes she forgets how much she weighs, so just— be aware. Of that.”

“Of course,” the halfling woman says, hair done up into a high ponytail, belly swelled with many months of pregnancy. “Where’re you looking to find work?”

“Oh, uh, Birchmore.”

She nods. “I think Greg’s got a cousin up there if you needed help finding something to do. He’s got a little business importing leathers.”

Magnus blinks at the bit of unexpected generosity. “I’m good, thanks. Nice of you to offer, but I’m alright by myself for now.”

Mrs. Burrington eyes him and all of a sudden he’s small again, being stared down by his mother and he almost thinks she’s going to lick her finger and wipe off a bit of dust from his cheek. “You know, if you need something, we’re always here.”

“That’s—”

“Not just us,” She puts a hand to her chest. “Anyone from Raven’s Roost, Magnus. Any of us.”

Magnus isn’t sure what to say. He settles for, “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

The sun rises and sets on the ocean and the two of them are there to watch it every time. Or, almost every time. Eventually, people leave Raven’s Roost and he can’t leave Star alone by herself so he brings her with him when he needs to find work, to buy food and essentials.

A part of him thinks Star needs to grieve, to take that time before moving on with him. Another knows that isn’t the reason he stays. 

She’s all he has left of her.

One day Magnus wakes up and Star hasn’t gone, and there is nothing warm about her presence at all. Her paws are on his chest, eyes closed and he knew she wasn’t a young dog, but somehow he’d still managed to miss the rapidly greying hair of her muzzle, the way she dragged her feet back to the tent.

Or maybe Star hadn’t died of old age. Maybe it had just been a broken heart.

He buries her beside Julia’s empty grave, makes her a wooden marker with simple lettering. She loved and was loved, he scrawls across it and the writing is crooked, far too messy for what she’d deserved, but it’s the best he can do.

The next day, Magnus packs up his bag and his tent, hefts his ax over his shoulder, and leaves the sea behind. A part of him already misses it and still, he knows it’s not the town he misses. 

Magnus doesn’t turn back when he leaves Raven’s Roost for the last time.

He knows he’ll see them again.

~

Link to A03 version here.

[jadoue1999]

Wanda and the life she deserved (she’ll make sure of it) Chapter 9

Summary:  This chapter is about Monica and why she wants to help Wanda so much. It also follows the post credit scene of episode 7 and a little of the finale.

Previous part: chapter 1,  chapter 2 , chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, epilogue

Chapter 9: Rambeau

Ever since her talk with Wanda, Monica was even more determined to help the woman. She had had her own painful experience after finding out her mother had lived two more years, only for her cancer to come back. It had taken her multiple days to really accept that she could have had more time with her, had the blip not happened. Also, adjusting to a universe that was five years ahead of her had been a challenge. Everything was different, not only culturally or technologically, but even in spots she had thought untouchable. Her favorite shop her and her mom used to go to escape the everyday stress of life was now gone. The owners were blipped, they had come back to find an empty lot that once contained their whole life. Monica, not one to dwell too much, decided that it would be better to move. Her apartment only served as a reminder that her mother truly was gone. Maria had probably wandered the same walls trying to convince herself that her daughter would come back only to succumb without finding out she was right all along. So, she had changed town, one closer to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters, that way, she could concentrate on more assignments. She had tried going to therapy, the world had offered counseling for those who came back. Monica had found it unfortunate that no one seemed to consider that some needed more than just talking out their feelings. As much as she understood why they limited their service to this, the entire world was grieving after all, she just wished there were more options.

She had instead focused on getting herself back together and forming a new world for herself. She had tried socializing, but every conversation eventually ended up talking about lost opportunities and the grief people or their loved one had endured. She bought books of the latest invention and discovery, trying to understand the world who moved on without her. She had eventually settled her finances with the bank, her position at S.W.O.R.D. gave her priority over the everyday citizens. She was part of the lucky ones, her mother’s hope had kept her from claiming her life insurance, which made things a lot easier since she didn’t have to restart her life with a debt. While she wasn’t at peace with what happened to her mother, she decided to come back to her work. She couldn’t take the days alone, being assaulted by advertisements about fake opportunities offered by scam artists looking to make quick money on the web.

So, after three weeks of trying to adjust in a grieving world, she was back at S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. She was then assigned to the Westview anomaly which opened a whole new world of weird. Being mind controlled by Wanda had been one of the strangest things she had ever experienced. She was expected to hate her once she had been pulled out; but she couldn’t bring herself to. The avenger wasn’t doing this out of hate, but out of grief. She had felt her pain, one that was so similar to her own. The whole experience only made her more certain of her future: she had to help Wanda Maximoff.

...

That’s why even after being clearly shown that Wanda didn’t want her help, she decided to stick around. Agnes was definitely suspicious; she knew Wanda was grieving and seemed to want to keep it that way. Luckily, Wanda’s brother had intervened. That was another thing, who was he? He wasn’t on the resident board and he definitely wasn’t the real Pietro; she had seen the footage of Ultron. They didn’t even look similar. Yet Wanda seemed determined to keep him at her side and he seemed convinced that they truly were twins. She felt for the man, the mind control of the town definitely wasn’t a pleasant experience.

There were whispers of newcomers on the base the same day she, Jimmy and Darcy had been kicked out. She didn’t have time to learn much, but Hayward didn’t like them. Then again, he didn’t like most people that wasn’t directly on his team or that obeyed him without questions. Still, their arrival had ruffled some feathers, the identification process was made even more of a priority. She guessed that they were part of the many agencies that dealt with insurance and were trying to prepare for the storm of paperwork coming after the Hex would be brought down. As far as she knew, the counseling offered only covered the effect of the blip, not the after effect of being mind controlled by a grieving avenger.

After being pushed away, Monica wasn’t sure where to go. She walked around aimlessly; last time she was in town it was the 70s. Now, the advertisements were different, and everyone were dressed in the 2010s. She had to admit how impressive it was that Wanda was able to rewrite reality like that. She saw Herb, or John Collins, according to the citizen chart. He was watering his backyard and taking care of his garden, something he’d been a fan of even when she was part of the town. She didn’t see many other of the ‘main cast’, but she did see a few couples. Still no children, like Vision had pointed out on the last episode she saw on the base. The Halloween one didn’t count since she missed most of it trying to hide on her own base. After about half an hour, she decided that Wanda had probably calmed down. She had to talk to her again, she had begun to form a connection, she knew she could make Wanda see reason. She walked over to her house, but soon realized that nobody was there. Instead of going after her, she decided to investigate Agnes’ house. She looked through the windows, but not much was happening. The TV was on, but no one was watching it. She went in the back, perhaps she could find clues there. After watching through the windows and still not finding anything, she spotted a cellar.

She walked over and examined the door before opening it. She found what looked like vines that escalated the walls. She could see them glowing a deep purple, probably had something to do with her newfound powers. They seemed to give her the ability to see energy field that surrounded her. She was about to step inside when she felt a sudden gush of air.

“Snoopers gonna snoop,” came a voice next to her.

She gasped as she took in the person. It was the man who was cast at Pietro, only, he seemed off. Like he was doing something he didn’t want to. Before she could ask him anything, he grabbed her arm and the back of her neck. In a blur, they were in the house. Nausea suddenly hit, she grabbed onto a nearby table to stabilize herself.

“Give it a few minutes, it’ll pass,” reassured the man. “Happens with everyone.”

“W-who are you?” She asked once her head had stopped spinning.

“I’m Pietro, I thought you knew that?” She stared at him; something was strange about him. He seemed so kind, why would he help Agnes?

“That’s not what I mean,” she started. “It might be hard, but the mind control usually let you access a few memories of your true identity. You just need to concentrate.”

The man looked at her with a confused look. Seeing that she wasn’t getting anywhere, she tried running out of the room, but he stopped her only a few steps away from the window. He put a hand in front of him, with one finger, she was catapulted back onto the couch. The force of the impact knocked the breath out of her.

The man looked at Monica, “I’m sorry, I can’t let you out of here. T-the witch, whatever she is, she has my nephews. I have to keep you here or they get hurt.”

She smiled at his comment, relieved he wasn’t just another villain. “You truly care about them, don’t you?”

The man turned to look outside the empty street before answering, “of course, they’re family.”

“You truly can’t remember?” Monica looked at Pietro, who once again looked confused at her questions. “Nothing here is real, Wanda is giving everyone fake identity, giving them roles to fill. You’re no different.”

“What? Of course not, Wanda’s not like that.”

“Please, think about your life before Westview. Pietro Maximoff died; how can you be here if you were killed?”

“I-I,” He stammered. His confusion was a good sign, he was starting to wake up. He looked at her once again. “Look, I know my sister, she wouldn’t-“

Suddenly, his necklace glowed a scarlet red and his eyes glazed over. He looked disoriented for a second before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you out, my family’s lives are on the line.”

Monica didn’t react to what he said, she was all too focused on the necklace. What was it? It seemed to be controlling him, but what could the jewelry piece do that the Hex couldn’t?

She reached for it but stopped as the man backed off. Realizing how rude she was being, she cleared her throat, “may I?” Hesitantly, the man nodded yes. As she was about to touch it, it glowed red and sent a burning sensation through her hand. She gasped and put her hand in a fist, “I’m sorry, I can’t remove it. Do you remember when you got it?”

He seemed lost in thoughts for a moment before shaking his head, “I’ve just always had it.”

Monica had more questions but screams in the street made them both turn towards the window. Agnes was somehow floating in the air, holding both of the boys with a magical rope. She saw Pietro disappear, only to reappear a second later.

“I can’t get out, there’s a sort of barrier keeping me from leaving.”

She quickly got down the stairs, she was surprised he let her go, considering that his nephews’ life was on the line. She supposed the real threat compared to possible one was a good enough reason. She opened the front door, only to come crashing into a purple barrier. She put her hands on it, it felt strange, it was like... an energy field. She knew she could get rid of it, but she didn’t know how.

“So,” said Pietro, appearing beside her, “how to we get out? Considering we can’t even see the barrier.”

She pushed against it once again, the magic bending to the force but not letting them pass. “I can see it, but I don’t know how to break it.”

They both contemplated their options, but they couldn’t think of many. That is, until Pietro spoke up. “What... what if you synced your powers with the frequency of the barrier?” His eyes seemed slightly foggy, like he was remembering something from long ago. “You keep your hands there, and you concentrate as much as you can. You can match the strength, and slowly increase it until it becomes too much, and it breaks.”

She did as he told her, feeling her way through. Her fingers began to slightly vibrate, increasingly speeding up as her fingertips began to glow blue. After a few seconds, the barrier shattered, and they were free to go. She turned to the man, both surprised and excited that it had worked. “How did you know that would work?”

The man shrugged, “I think I did it once... on glass? Not sure but I definitely remember using this technique.”

She nodded and they ran to Wanda, Agnes, and the twins. The final battle was ready to begin.

...

Notes:  So, we are close to the end! I promise that we will be back to Wanda's point of view after this one, I simply thought more context on Monica couldn't hurt. Also, she doesn't remove the necklace, I figured that if someone had to remove it, in the context of my story at least, it has to be Wanda. Props to those who understood the days of future past reference! Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated!

[boringlibrarianthoughts]

Spn Series Finale - and How It’s Still Destiel Endgame

 I’ve been thinking more about the finale and have finally assembled my thoughts on it.

While I understand many fans hold to “the finale wasn’t real/canon,” to me, it was because that’s what was shown on tv, so I’m attempting to come to terms with it. You don’t have to feel that way and that’s totally fine. That’s just how I feel. So, here are my very lengthy thoughts:

*keep reading below*

I’m gonna be honest and say that I have always felt 100% sure that Dean would die at the end of the show. I started watching during like season 3, and I’ve believed that from more or less the start, so I went into the finale expecting him to die. Dean’s self loathing resulted in risky behavior on his part that was definitely indicative of someone who would never reach old age. That doesn’t mean I wanted Dean to die. Quite the opposite. His character deserved a chance to break out of the vicious cycle that had damaged his entire life; I wanted to see an arc of redemption and coming to love yourself (this would have been huge given Dean’s self-hatred). I wanted to see Dean move beyond the life his father trapped him in. As far as character development goes, it actually made more sense at the end of the series for Dean to get out of hunting and live a quiet life (with Cas) and Sam to continue the hunting lifestyle (with Eileen). This is what I hoped for, but given that for some reason showrunners and writers seem to hate their audiences and want to punish them for enjoying their shows, I figured this was unlikely.

So yes, I wasn’t shocked when Dean died. As soon as I saw that friggin piece of rebar on the screen, I knew that was it. So my main issue wasn’t that Dean died (again, I didn’t want that at all, but I knew it was coming), but what happened during the death scene. Like, I get that now without Chuck keeping them alive to entertain himself and Jack deciding to be totally hands off, the odds of Dean or Sam dying accidentally would increase exponentially. So yes, I could even cope with the rebar death (I know, I know).

What actually bothered me about the death scene was how Dean’s death is made completely about Sam. Wtf? Like, it seems the indication is that Dean’s death is a noble sacrifice for Sam to be happy. 

I don’t like that.

While the first few years of the show focus on the tension between Sam and Dean and the struggles of family, it eventually moves past this (thank goodness, too). Their relationship becomes more or less settled and they are comfortable with their brotherly bond and no longer feel angry or bitter about it for the most part. That was satisfying to see. Instead, the focus shifted to other relationships. Sam would have girlfriends, a fun relationship with Rowena, and learn to trust himself more and grow into a leadership role. Dean would struggle with himself rather than his brother, but he would learn to develop friendships and grow closer to Castiel. The brothers were no longer codependent.

Dean’s death did a complete 180 and shifted back to the pathetic codependency of the early seasons. Dean saying his life was always about Sam blah blah blah was gross and a mean thing for the showrunners to make Ackles perform. Dean and Sam had outgrown this period of their lives. Reverting to it was out of character for Dean.

Now, I am certain this was done to “bookend” the show. Have the relationship between Sam and Dean go back to the way it was in the beginning - and this could be done since every other character was written out of the finale. There was no one left for them to care about anymore except each other. I think that if the show had ended like this around like season 5, it would have fit fine. Dean and Sam’s relationship was sadly like this, and Dean felt he had no worth beyond what he could do for Sam. 

HOWEVER - the show has been on for 15 freakin seasons. A lot will change during that time. During the last 3 seasons of the show (at least) the main relationship in Dean’s life was that with Cas, not with Sam. Whether you believe the relationship between Dean and Cas was platonic or romantic, you can’t deny that Dean valued Cas very, very highly and loved him in some way. To me, it seems pretty straightforward that Dean had been actively trying to repress romantic feelings for Castiel for the last couple years of the show but whatever.

Dean’s speech during his death was out of character. And yes, as others have pointed out, Sam definitely could have done SOMETHING to keep Dean alive.

Here’s where I think his feelings for Cas were suggested in the episode (as an aside, I genuinely think that the COVID delay allowed for some... nervousness on the part of showrunners or whoever regarding Dean and Castiel’s relationship being explicitly romantic, and the tonal shift of the last two episodes is the result of that). Dean wanted to give up and die. He didn’t fight. Sam had been trained by the best witch around (Rowena) and surely could have come up with something. Call the friggin ambulance. Do the vampire reversal thing y’all have mentioned. DEAN DIDN’T WANT ANY OF IT. Now, we’ve seen before that Dean becomes suicidal when Cas is dead. I think this is a continuation of that theme. By killing Cas and then not bringing him back, the writers created a situation where Dean had literally nothing to live for anymore. And that’s really sad. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so attached to fictional characters (whatever), but I really care about Sam, Dean, and Cas. I wanted them all to be happy after all the crap they’ve been through.

Dean’s closest companion was taken from him in a really, really awful way that would doubtless be traumatizing for Dean. He would likely feel intensely guilty about Castiel’s death and that he didn’t tell Cas how he felt (however, it’s clear Dean’s actual response to Cas’ love declaration was cut, so who knows what happened there - I wrote another lengthy post about that, actually). 

I think Dean’s death happened a couple years after they defeated Chuck - the montage in the beginning of 15x20 represents that. Dean didn’t literally die on the very next hunt. However, a couple years still is not a long time, and doubtless Dean would have spent that time struggling with the idea that he couldn’t save Cas no matter what he did. That’s terrible. Who knows what he might have tried during that time to bring him back from The Empty, and the thought of him fruitlessly working toward that before finally giving up and having to live with the finality of Castiel’s death is really depressing. Of course, he wouldn’t know that Cas wasn’t even in the frickin Empty anymore because Jack pulled him out, which makes it even more sad. Now, I’ve seen some people wondering why Cas wouldn’t come back to Dean... it seems pretty clear to me that when Jack said he would be hands off, he meant the forces of heaven in general. That means Cas would be in heaven working to improve it and not be able to leave or communicate with Dean and Sam.

So Dean dies, alone in life and likely still feeling like he’s a failure. Not cool, Spn writers. The best we can assume is that he took Cas’ speech to heart and was trying to be a better version of himself (as shown by being merciful to Chuck).

Then he ends up in heaven where he’s greeted by Bobby (and not Cas - remember Becky’s little Funko POPs display of Dean and Castiel together in front of The Roadhouse? I think that was the initial plan before someone got cold feet). Anyway, I really think someone involved with this show was honestly trying to throw us a bone with the Dean/Bobby conversation. 

Bobby points out that Heaven is basically like living a normal life again and not just reliving your memories because Jack rebuilt it.

Bobby says Heaven is now “What it always should’ve been. Everyone happy, everyone together,” then mentions some side characters (no one too important so we wouldn’t ask why the actor wasn’t in the episode) and Dean’s parents being nearby.

Now, I totally get the John Winchester hate (he’s abusive, no way around it), but I think Dean had always dreamed of getting to know his parents in a good way and not the way life on earth had been. This is giving him that chance.

Then, this is the big line to me.

Bobby: “It ain’t just heaven, Dean. It’s the heaven you deserve. And we’ve been waiting for ya.”

This is everyone’s shared heaven now, not just Dean reliving some memory. This is everyone’s heaven. And yet, Bobby emphasizes that Dean is the focus of this. Dean. Dean was the motivation for this new heaven - the kind of heaven that Dean deserves and ought to have and everyone has been waiting for Dean to be there to enjoy it. Why? Frickin why? “Why,” I asked myself upon watching this episode live. Sure, Jack loved Dean and wanted Dean to love him back, but that seems weird for Jack to do this for Dean.

And then Bobby explains what actually went down.

Dean: “So Jack did all that?”

Bobby pauses and says meaningfully: “Well, Cas helped.” He looks meaningfully over at Dean and then raises his eyebrows suggestively. This is a hella weird response if you take it as anything other than an indication of a (future) romantic relationship between Dean and Cas. Castiel, as Jack’s adoptive father, would have helped, guided, and advised Jack on what to do, and Cas’ motivation for all of this would be to prepare a heaven for Dean that would make him happy. That’s an incredibly loving gesture. Like, Cas is really into Dean.

Likely, Bobby has learned things he didn’t know during his mortal life. He doubtless has either learned or inferred that Castiel and Dean love each other. If Dean didn’t love Cas back, Bobby would not have mentioned his being in Heaven so suggestively. If someone wiggled their eyebrows about my bestie being nearby, I’d be weirded out because I’m not into my bestie in that way lol. I’m into my husband, who is my romantic partner. Seeing Cas busily working to improve Heaven with Dean in mind would be a dead giveaway to Bobby about what was going on between the two of them.

Dean’s smile in response to hearing this is honestly how I smile when I think about something that makes me happy but I don’t want anyone else to know about. And that’s how I think Dean is reacting.

Next, Dean drives around. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be a montage of time passing for him and he doesn’t literally just drive nonstop or if it’s really just a little while in Heaven time before Sam shows up.

Now why wouldn’t Cas appear? Well, couple reasons. Firstly, it would’ve been “too gay” for the higher ups involved in the finale. There really wasn’t a non-gay way to reunite them. I think this is ultimately why Collins wasn’t in the episode.

As far as the in-show story, I think it makes sense for Castiel to be a little shy of Dean. I mean, he did confess his undying love for the man assuming he would never have to face Dean again. Castiel didn’t know Jack would resurrect him. He was literally like “ok, I love you, sorry, gotta go die now.” Now he’s got Dean in Heaven with him for eternity. There’s no rush for them to meet up again. I think Dean would want the resolution of knowing his whole family is in Heaven again, and it makes sense that Castiel would be bashfully hiding in a corner until Dean called him. Then once they met up, it’d probably be some messy making out and pure joy at being together again (sorry not sorry lol). I really think that was supposed to be our takeaway from this finale regarding Dean and Cas’ relationship. Was it ideal? No, but I do think there was something.

Some other thoughts: Eileen was perfect for Sam and not explicitly showing them together was a major cop-out. I think that because Padalecki had a new show coming out on the same network, they didn’t want to show Sam settled with a specific woman thinking “oh we want the fangirls to imagine they could be with Sam” which is dumb but probably their line of thinking. This also explains Sam’s totally random and unnecessary shirtless shot in the finale. I’ve known these characters for so long and care about them and that shot was like seeing your brother naked. No thanks.

I think this also explains the choice to revert to Sam being the main character and Dean’s only focus in the end. That’s how the show started out, and it makes sense from a marketing standpoint to emphasize Padalecki’s performance.

Anyway, I’ve probably left something out that I planned on including, but this is already crazy long lol. So there you have it - I finally wrote down my thoughts on a finale that aired 3 months ago. I’m clearly on top of everything.

Plus, I feel pretty confident they will do a mini reunion series within a few years, so hopefully some of these issues will be corrected before too long lol.

[fordarkisthesuede]

The Tolls of Justice: the Tarot, Name Meanings, and More!

Gentlepeople…

BEHOLD!

All the tarot-aligned hints! All the future foretellings! All the silly references! :) Everything you might have overlooked is here for you easy-to-read pleasure!

Naturally, there be spoilers a-plenty ahead for Batman the TellTale Series: The Tolls of Justice, so if you haven't read it (or maybe you're thinking about reading it, or this is your first time hearing about it), I'd advise waiting until you're done with each chapter to read through the sections. You can either click the link and be redirected to Ao3, or look through my tumblr tag #ttoj!

*One forwarding note: the tarot references build slowly in this story, and I only use the traditional Major & Minor Arcana. You'll see a lot of jokes and name-type references before we get to the tarot. I also simplified the numerics, but they're often displayed as roman numerals on cards, hint hint.

Prologue

gang member "Four Ears" - a very very off-the-collar reference to the line "Listen up, four-ears!" from J-Men Forever; in context, it was an off-shoot of the insult "four-eyes" but for music taste, also implying the person's taste was "square".

gang member "Muddy Nye" - his name can be boiled down to "muddy river". It works as an allusion to the messy, unclear case ahead of Bruce and the Batfam, but also as a hint to Clayface, who acted as Muddy in his first sighting of the story.

"Sunset" - a reference to everyone's favorite vampire series to pick on, the Twilight series; back when it was at the height of it's popularity, some drug dealers sold heroin marketed towards the crowd based off it's terrible and unfortunately iconic(?) line from Edward Cullen, "You're my own personal brand of heroin"…hence why the drug of choice BM is shipping here is heroin. Essentially, this plot setup is one big joke.

"FIGS" - a reference to POP! vinyls, hence the capitalized name and spiky word balloon on the packages.

"Gray Ghost [memorabilia]" - one of my (and everyone else's) favorite BtAS episodes, which proves definitively that Bruce Wayne | Batman is not only a Huge Nerd™, but also a massive collector of normal fandom things. (Do you think he troughs through blogs and fanwikis…? What am I saying, of course he does. He edits them.)

gang members "Jack Whendleham and Kirby Noltz" - nod to Jack Kirby, comic artist extraordinaire!

Ch.1: A Different Ceiling

[chapter title] - John does not wake up in Arkham at the start of the story, hence waking up to a different ceiling. He also hits different limitations on what he can do, so it's also a different kind of "ceiling". (Like the term "the glass ceiling", the invisible barrier a demographic hits in a hierarchy.)

St. Dymphna New Life Home - named after Saint Dymphna, the patron saint of mental illness. There's no "'s" at the end because I saw other clinics named after Saints didn't use the possessive form when referencing them.

The Lucky Hotel - an oxymoron, really; the unluckiest place to get stuck at with it's seedy history, but also the place where John "gets lucky"…in a couple of different ways!

Stitched Up Alterations - a heavy nod to the wonderful batjokesy line from S2, "We're two threads in the same stitch". It's pretty deeply ingrained in fanon (and technically canon, if you go with The Dark Knight) that Joker makes his own clothes, hence Batman rarely finding him through his tailor. Since John's thrifty and clearly made his original Joker outfit(s), I piggybacked off it as a legit skill to give him. I mean, come on, the guy is always so stylish! And you're really going to look at me and say he didn't alter his thrifted shirts and vests to fit his sleek frame? Puh-leeease.

13th Street - 13 is a traditionally unlucky number in western culture; hence the "Lucky Hotel" there having a bloody history, along with a failed, closed casino nearby.

Corazón gang - okay, I admit…I'm still a weeb at heart. It's a One Piece reference. Corazon was one of the few post-timeskip new characters I really liked; his name is Spanish for "heart", and he sported a heart motif. Like the gang in this story, he also died before the start of the main storyline.

Ch. 2: Face Values

[chapter title] - A reference to the phrase "not taking things at face value", which is very evident in this story. Also doubles as a rather loose reference to the upcoming Tarot cards.

Sebastian Overfield - The name Sebastian means "from Sebaste", as is derived from the Greek word sebastos ("venerable", someone who has a lot of respect). Overfield of course is "over" and "field", implying the family is on a high hill overlooking/overseeing/maintaining a certain field. As Seb is a reverend, this name is well-fit for him.

orange rose [gift from John] - means "passion" in the language of flowers, and can allude to fascination; this can be taken platonically or romantically…but it's definitely romantic when it's coming from John.

blue iris [gift from John] - means "faith and hope" in the language of flowers, and sometimes are associated with royalty; an allusion to Batman/Bruce's overall symbolism in the eyes of Gotham…and John.

Chandis [ship, circa Prologue] - A reference to Chandi | Chandika, the Hindu deity; the short version of their story is that they are a demon slayer, known to be angry and passionate, wield multiple weapons, and ride a lion. And who was on the ship? Hmm…

Ch. 3: Ink Trails

[chapter title] - A reference to the Alterations' claim slip John finds, which ends up leading back to the Court of Owls. It doubles as a reference to the mask tattoo/clue on Ian 'Nito'.

Faith Ackart - "Ackart" is a variant of "ackhart", derived from "ekkehard", which we can say roughly means "brave/hardy". The name "faith" and "hardy" together is another very subtle clue for the audience towards the villains' motives. (Well, I say that, but it was really more of a joke-clue for me to giggle at. And it makes a good reporter name!)

Lou Monger - the guy's a fish monger…with the last name Monger. It's-a joke! ;D

Ian 'Nito' Coggs - first mentioned without his real last name, but "Ian Coggs, Nito", is a pun on the word "incognito"…which is what Clayface is here.

FriendBook/Chirp/bloggr/uBox - takes on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube respectively. (This started back in my 'Season 3' story, At the Brink of Midnight, though I've since learned that bloggr was a real thing. :T) The 'uBox' is meant to be a play on 'jumping box'/'the box' as other terms for TV, like 'the tube'.

"whole tomato of pins" - the supposed history of tomato-shaped pincushions is that tomatoes placed on mantels repelled evil spirits and guaranteed prosperity, but I really wanted to just allude to the common pin-cushion shape. (My mom once had a whole little basket of strawberry shaped pin-cushions. I remember "borrowing" them a lot as a kid to play with. And then "losing" them.)

"sock and buskin masks" - these are a reference to the "comedic sock" and "tragic buskin (i.e. boot)" of the Greek comedy-tragedy theatre masks. I figured something like them would be a good logo for the "false faces", as BM is obsessed with masks. It also doubles as a natural callback to the "your relationship with x has changed" feature of TT games.

Ch. 4: Suite of Cups

[chapter title] - the first chapter to be a reference to the Tarot, in specific the Minor Arcana of Cups; rather than specifying the card at play outright, this title is a pun on the aforementioned arcana "suite", as the main location of events this chapter are in a casino's hotel suite. One can interpret many Cups cards at play here, but...

○ Specifically, in the Casino's suite/crime scene, there are 8 visible seats, but 7 cups on the table. The 7 of Cups refers to choices, fantasy, and illusion, an indicates there are multiple opportunities or many paths you can take, but they should be chosen carefully; when reversed, it can mean confusion, diversion, and temptation, and indicate a lack of choice or failure to choose.

○ The upright version is definitely in play, with the overall root of TellTale games being choices, and some "the player" makes this chapter will move your relationships with Tiffany and John in different ways, which can strengthen your relationships with them. If "the player" has chosen to be a more violent Batman, the way the Talon - and later, the Court - treats Batman is different.

○ The Reversed reading can be interpreted for the Court's complete disregard for the mere notion of choice.

Bauta - a Venetian carnival mask, meant to represent 'anonymous decisions' via it's original design of protecting identities. It's quite common in carnivals.

Melpomene-Thalia - the Venetian masks for comedy and tragedy, a la 'sock and buskin', the masks used as a general symbol for theatre. You can practically taste the irony, given who's shown wearing it...

Volto - a Venetian mask, meant to represent 'anonymity, quiet exit' for it's blank face. It's also known as the "Citizen Mask" because of it's worn by the common folk (in comparison to the more elaborate masks).

The Lot [casino] - named for "drawing lots", like drawing straws or matches to pick a person to do a task (usually with the shortest straw having to do the task, but it varies). This is both a pun on the fact that it's a casino - where you try your luck at gambling - and corresponds with the theme of foretelling the future that's woven throughout much of the story.

The Wednesday Nighters gang - this doesn't mean anything in particular. I'm a big fan of Midsomer Murders, and there's an episode ("Death in a Chocolate Box") where it references a few dirty cops who frequently took the Friday night shift at a station for episode-plot-reasons, who called themselves The Friday Nighters. It's an off-shoot reference to it, hence the corrupt cops on the gang in this story. :)

[John's voicemail] - Another BtAS episode I love is "the terrible secret of Bruce Wayne". In particular, I loved Joker's voicemail when Dr. Strange calls in ("Boy, do YOU have the wrong number!") and I wanted to do something like that. But, y'know, way less murdery.

"F85H4ND" - l33t-written "Fate's Hand", for…well, the hand of fate, supposedly guiding you through life/events. Another correspondent to the foretelling the future theme.

Michael Hodgson - not all of the names I pick for characters mean anything. Sometimes their names are just loose references to things I like. This is a silly mish-mashup of the original hosts of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Michael [Nelson] and [Joel] Hodgeson. (Joel was the first host + show creator, and Mike was the second host who closed out the original series run.)

"40F5WRD5" [Batcomputer archive] - l33t for the 4 of Swords, a card in the Minor Arcana for rest and restoration; since the archives and file names are randomly generated when not prompted otherwise with manual input, an otherworldly force seems to be saying 'get some damn sleep Bruce'.

[John's ringtone] - I know, TT always has everyone's phone on silent. I don't care. Bruce's ringtone for John is "Mack the Knife", a song about a violent mobster, played on a carnival organ. Chosen because 1) John probably loves that song, 2) I thought it was funny that it has the line "the shark bites - with his teeth, dear - when he shows them pearly whites" and how well that goes with John's A+ dental care... 3) TeamFourStar made jokes in their BtTTS S2 playthrough about having "a special ringtone whenever John calls [them]"…why would I not carry that through? They did get me to where we are now, you know. ;)

Ryde - the in-game stand-in for Lyft, the not-a-taxi service.

Ch. 5: The Wheel Still Spins on the Upturned Chariot

[chapter title] - a reference to 2 tarot cards in the Major Arcana. 1) "The Wheel"/"The Wheel of Fortune", which is a sign for continuous cycles, inevitable fate, and usually indicates good fortune and pre-destiny when the card is presented upright. When reversed, it can signify bad luck and an unfavorable fate. 2) "The Chariot", symbolizing a path forward to success, confidence, and overcoming obstacles; when reversed, it's stands for recklessness and lack of direction/control. 3) As the Chariot is upside down, John's original plans have been upended and everything goes out of his control in a chaotic situation. He’s essentially "not at the driver’s seat" for a little while. "The player" decides which direction to take the wheel in - either letting him lash out violently and send him on more solitary and dangerous path, or satisfy his need for stability by embracing his new relationships. The Chariot is always upturned here, but whether the wheel spins forward or backward is up to "the player's" decisions.

511 N. Blade Street - this one's a bit messy. 511 = V I I, or VII in roman numerals, which =7. The tarot cards are traditionally numbered in roman numerals. North, for pointing upright, and "blade" is synonymous with "sword". So it’s the "7 of Swords", in the upright position – referring to deception and trickery, which is of course what's going on in regards to who Ian 'Nito' Coggs really is…

Apt 1005 - even muddier, but this is referring to the 10 of Swords, which is for betrayal and backstabbing, hinting at the true motives of "Ian" | Clayface. 10-0-5, so 10 and the l33t for "OS" = 10-o-S.

900 Wanda Way - Both a pun on the phrase “wander away” and the 9 of Wands in the Minor Arcana, which alludes to pushing forward to achieve victory. A good allusion for a clinic, me-thought.

400 Wanda Way - The 4 of Wands in the Minor Arcana stands for community, another good allusion for a clinic.

Karen McCarthy - named after the most stereotypically uptight narcissistic asshole the masses have agreed to call 'Karen', and both McCarthyism and another famous lady with the surname McCarthy. Because I wanted you to know the second you see her name that she is *horrible*. (Funny, though, there's 2 senators named McCarthy that are pieces of shit and one infamous quasi-celeb who's the face of the anti-vax scene. Is it just a cursed family name?)

Ch. 6: The Tips of Our Swords

[chapter title] - Refers to the 4 of Swords card in the Minor Arcana, as the "swords" are alluding to the four active members in the Batfam - Bruce, John, Tiffany, and Iman - who work together on the case[s]; you can infer this title to a presentation not unlike the Musketeers joining swords to affirm themselves as a team, as they all gather together. The reversed reading of the card is for restlessness/stress in Bruce's case, and the clear signal of the universe to tell him to relax, and the reading when presented right-side up is for the break it gives to "the player", with the homey atmosphere of the Batfam spending time together. Either reading is completely valid here.

○ BUT, as Alfred is a non-active member of the Batfam, we could also say that 5 of Swords is also at play, right-side-up for the fighting and resentment with Alfred, and John's hinted budding conflict with him; and 5 reversed for Bruce's attempts at making up with Tiffany. If one illustrated the gathering of our four heroes joining swords like the musketeers over a breakfast table, then Alfred would be sitting drinking tea, standing as a symbol of the Ace of Cups, signifying new emotions or stirrings of feelings.

○ If we stretch the metaphor eeeven further, the title can also be a loose reference to the Sword of Damocles; threats always hang above the heads of powerful people, and in this case the looming threat of Black Mask and the mysterious assassin, ever-present in Batman's world…

Dr. Brandi September - literally "Sword" and "Seventh Month", alluding to the 7 of Swords, hinting to deception and manipulation at play.

"I was tired of the soup du jour" - a shameless Devo reference; a tiring of the routine/everyday. "I'm tired of the soup du jour - I want to end this prophylactic tour - ain't nobody around me - understands my potato - I'm only a spud boy - lookin' for a real tomato" - DEVO, "Mr DNA/Smart Patrol".

Motel 11, Augury Road - "augury" is another word for crows; as a gathering of crows can be a method of fortune-telling, this a reference to a gathering of 11 crows, which when seen is supposed to be indicative of disguising or revealing secrets.

Ch. 7: Drawing the Strings

[chapter title] - meant to allude to John aligning the strings connecting the people and crimes together, like an old-fashioned way of mapping clues; can be interpreted as these crime-strings on the proverbial board being drawn closer together, marking the center of the "web" as the Court of Owls

Frieda Baast - Frieda, an allusion to the Norse goddess Freya, who rode on a chariot driven by cats, and Baast, the Egyptian goddess who had the form of a cat. It makes it really obvious who was staying at the Motel 11, huh?

room 14 [Selina Kyle's motel room] - a reference to the 14th tarot card, "Temperance", which when upright is meant for choosing the middle path between choices. This is meant to reference Selina herself, currently at a secret, personal crossroads and being in "the middle"; John can influence her hidden choice by either making her think about what her potential job's employers are really aligning themselves with, or taunting her into how she can't leave her old life behind. (Whether John is violent or not doesn't completely impact her choice, but it does impact how they interact later if Selina winds up in the hands of our villains.)

Oracle, Spoiler, Batgirl, Spectrum - Batman's had a lot of non-Robin sidekicks in comics, including Batgirl (originally Barbara Gordon), Oracle (Barbara Gordon, post-Batgirl-forced-retirement and computer hacker extraordinaire), and Spoiler (Stephanie Brown, who "spoiled" crimes). As a fan of Ao3/tumblr's @fractualized 's own Telltale Bat-verse fics (the "Release John Doe" series), I added in the reference to "Spectrum", which Tiffany became in lieu of "Robin". A wink from one fan-writer to another! ;)

"I'm steppin' out, my dear - to breathe an atmosphere […] - that simply reeks […] with class" - John's singing a classic Fred Astaire hit, "Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails".

Eric, Jerome, Jeremiah, Jack [John's "Normal name" ideas] - As this story allows "the player" to pick a name for John to use in place of his own, you can pick between some classic and modern references to Joker's alternate personas over the years. Eric White Border (edit: goddang it that's what i get for looking at White Knight while writing this up and never double-checking), Joker's regular persona in the New 52 Batman comic line; Jerome or Jeremiah of the Gotham TV series, both of which are different aspects of Joker's personality through media, with a more modern gritty version in Jerome (think Heath Ledger's Joker) and a more modern take on Joker's sociopathy in Jeremiah; and last but not least Jack Napier, the first official name of Joker circa Tim Burton's Batman (1989), and the one most popularly used (BtAS and other comics throughout the years since use this name). "The player"'s choice doesn't impact the story or the way John acts, but it does give a surprise feature later. ;)

Matt Chaney - Aka, "Clayface", Matt has both new and old elements in his name alone. Matt, for Matt Hagen, the most well-known/used of the Clayface personas, and Chaney, for classic film actor Lon Chaney, AKA the man of a thousand faces. This Clayface is an aspiring actor who is psychologically dependent on Moddy to keep him handsome after a terrible car accident left his face marred. He uses his excellent makeup skills and acting to infiltrate the False Face Society, and double-plays them and the Court of Owls.

Root / MuSec - stand-ins for Vine and TikTok, respectively. "MuSec" is both a play on the word "musac" (the word for 'elevator music' and generic produced music you hear in fake stores and the like) and the mish-mash of the words "music" and "second", referencing the short length of the videos. "Root" was used in a prior story (At the Brink of Midnight), and acts as another "natural network" type name akin to Vine; though I do recognize "Vine" might have come along as part of the phrase "I heard it through the grape-vine". I have a feeling some Aussie fans might find the fake-Vine name funny...or just awkward.

Ch. 8: It Had to Be You

[chapter title] - A reference to the classic crooner song, "It Had to Be You"; specifically, the one that flows through the first scene is a cover done by Frank Sinatra, meant to align with other Bat-media's use of Sinatra where Joker and Batman are concerned. The Arkham games got his famous "Under My Skin", and another crooner's "Only You". Batjokes fans/content creators have also used "Strangers in the Night" for their relationship. I wanted to present one that would feel at-home in the TellTale universe regardless of what route you end up with, and what's more perfect than a song about finally discovering the love of your life? The song fits them to a tee, in my humble opinion…

Estella Art Gallery - Selina's art gallery, mentioned previously to have been the site of a Talon attack. "Estella" translates to "star", for the tarot card "The Star". When presented upright, it means hope and rebirth; this card can be presented after a disaster, such as an event like "The Tower". Normally, it can be interpreted as a card to show a phase where you have trust and faith in yourself and the universe. Selina was turning over a new leaf and enjoying her new life until the Owls found out who she was.

Mrs. Bollard - "bald-headed person"…this poor woman got her wig snatched as John stole Bruce from her on the dance floor. xD

"I knew today's horoscope was bullshit" - a nod to earlier, where Roman mentioned his horoscope when visiting Bruce; "a friend will help you out of a tight bind." Not that it was mentioned like that... still! I wonder what today's was? "You will be fortunate in your business endeavors"? Ha ha ha! But really, the horoscope is another nod to the theme of foretelling the future, as it's a popular method to try and see how your day, month, season, or year will be. Not that I know what sign Roman is… *thinking face*

[Achievement Unlocked: Batman Who Laughs] - John showing up in the Batman cowl was not only funny, but a direct nod to the Batman Who Laughs. The TT games had Batman comic titles often used as Achievements, so I figured I'd put in some…

[Achievement Unlocked: Batwoman Rises] - Iman helping the team out in the spare Batman suit is naturally a nod to Batwoman, and something I wanted to do for a while. ;D

Brighella - a Venetian mask taken from a play now used to depict a cunning and mischievous servant. Originally the mask was used to depict a greedy villain character.

The Two Gilded Cups - A restaurant in-story that references "The Two of Cups" tarot card, a card representing unity, partnership, and two becoming one. When upright, it's a card that can reference lovers or a new relationship; when reversed, it can represent broken communication, imbalance, or tension. As such, the couple who were seen at the restaurant - Sonja Townsend and her husband - are established lovers who work together for the Court of Owls, but those who were really there are Jackie Lant and Matt Chaney, who are in an imbalanced relationship. "Gilded" implies that "The Cups" are covered unnecessarily with gold - this is both in reference to Jackie and Matt's disguise of the Townsends and the truth about their relationship. Matt's lies are covering for his narcissism and selfishness, and ultimately is the only thing holding him and Jackie's relationship together.

Moddy - A fictional body modification clay-mud-putty that's a product of Janus Industries, this makeup is the favorite of Matt Chaney and the reason we can call him "Clayface". Like the traditional Clayface, Matt is in dire need to have his fix of the makeup, despite what it does to him - as John notes, it leaves a weird burn-like sensation, and since Matt has deep scar tissue he covers every minute of every day, it's made the skin damage worse.

"You’re really committed to drowning in that river" - A riff on the old joke "denial ("de Nile") isn't just a river in Egypt".

"Your words are honey in my ears, but my brain always turns it into bitter wax" - In Futurama, Fry has a silly line of “Sweet words! Sweet words that turn into bitter wax in my ears!”. It always had the potential to be a great metaphor if the words were twisted around! :) Plus, I mean, come on, this is a totally On Brand™ thing for John to say!

Ch. 9: Strength in Numbers

[chapter title] - Referencing the Strength card, for bravery, compassion, and inner strength; the title also doubles as a play on “different kinds of strengths”. Strength is the will the expose your truths. Strength is finding compassion to help others. Strength is staying true to your convictions in the face of opposition. We see all different kinds of strength on display here.

○ It can also a reference to the different partnerships going on, with Jackie joining the team (unofficially), Bruce and Tiffany going off to tackle the other half of our case, and John and Iman’s team-up. :)

"[John] could barely hear it over the tinny electronic whistling tune emitting from his own phone, telling him the person on the other end was a mystery" - this is referencing an old tumblr joke! Yes, John has the “It is a mystery” tone on his phone for unknown calls…complete with the little (:o) ghost icon.

CUP5K1NG [license plate] - Referring to the King of Cups card, a card portraying emotional balance and compassion. As it's not written as "K1NGCUP5", it implies it's a reversed card, signifying there's manipulation and instability at work. Even though Matt doesn't own the car this license plate belongs to, it's definitely tied to him since it's his getaway ride, and thus hints at what's to be revealed in his and Jackie's hotel room.

Aylin Street - the name "Alyin" translates into “moon halo; one that belongs to the moon”, thereby being a reference to the Moon card, representing mysteries and illusions. An investigation is afoot!

“Looks like I’ve got the red light, kiddo.” - In stage acts, the red light is to indicate to the performer their time on stage is up. Generally, it’s reserved for comedians who either overrun their time or are losing the audience. John's joking that he's been given the red light to exit stage left (but not persued by bear).

"What’s the ‘G’ for?” - Iman's 'Gotham Construction' jumpsuit has a G different from John's - it's shaped more like a gear. This is another Mystery Science Theater reference, in particular the logo for Gizmonic Institute, the company/labs that "employed" original host Joel and the mad scientist Dr. Forrester (and his assistant, TV's Frank), who started the experiments of forcing a guy and his robot friends to watch reeeally bad movies. The result was 12 (soon to be 13!) seasons of some guys making hilarious and very memorable jokes at said bad movies' expense. Does this reference mean that Bruce is just as huge a dork as I am, or does it mean that MST3K is real in this universe?! You make the call! ;D

○ …if you read 'What's the 'G' for?' in Invader Zim's voice, that's also valid. Especially if you followed it with “I dON’t know!” in GIR's. (There is no cringing here! We openly embrace our childhood silliness!)

MasterOfClayFace / #IdW3arThat [Matt Chaney's social media login] - naturally Matt is so far up on his high horse that he considers himself a master of clay work…and of course his nickname is ClayFace! His password is a joke in and out of canon, being a riff on Lemon Demon song: “A mask of my own face – I’d wear that” ~ Lemon Demon, “Mask of My Own Face” [Nature Tapes].

3055 [Jackie Lant's InstaPic followers] - According to research, the average Instagram following is about 1000, so Jackie is above average popularity. Anything above 10k is usually(?) celeb status. The number 3055 is meant to be broken up and turned partially into l33t, to make 3-O-S-S, or 3 of Sword[s]. The 3 of Swords card in the tarot signifies heartbreak and grief, stemming from betrayal, loneliness, and rejection. Jackie experienced all three of these heart-piercing swords during her return to Gotham, with Matt basically forcing her into isolation, betraying her trust, and rejecting her input and values in favor of his own; but she didn't really know it until the truth was exposed.

8055 [Matt Chaney's InstaPic followers] - similarly, Matt's follower count is meant to be 8-O-S-S, or the 8 of Swords card. It signifies self-victimization and imprisonment. In particular, the card shows a person restrained and trapped, but their helplessness is a show…they could choose to get out, if they got over themselves. Matt is incredibly selfish, so it comes as no surprise that he will play the victim card.

#OnlyInGotham - Another tumblr reference! I love the @hashtagonlyingotham blog! ( ^3^)

The Herold Rite's Theatre - A play on the word "Hierophant": Herold, like “herald (ruler/champion)” and Rites, like “sacred rites”. In the tarot, the Hierophant card represents following tradition and values, which for the Owls is their very core. This is basically a big ol' hint that Iman and John are heading into Owl territory, but also foreshadows the religious undercut of The Court and Reverend Sebastian Overfield's role.

"a familiar red-pyramid-and-floating-eyeball" [graffiti] - A reference to my icon! ;D You think I can't self-promo?

trading cards [found in theatre storage] - In the Theatre, John finds "old promotional trading cards for an old sci-fi film with big-brained aliens". This is a shameless and loving reference to Tim Burton's 1996 film Mars Attacks!, of which my AO3/tumblr icon and username is lifted - the movie was based on a series of Topps trading cards from the 1960's, and had it's own set of cards with movie scenes and behind-the-scenes pictures (and summaries of events) printed for the movie! They also used them as promotional tools, and if you get very lucky purchasing a copy of the old single-issue comic books from the 1995 Mars Attacks run from Image Comics, you can get a promo card.

https://bit.gt.gd/S3272019F?=RO - Originally "gd" stood for a derivative of Google Drive, but I can’t look at it and not see “get good”. The "S3272019F?" is meant to stand for "Started: March 27, 2019 Finished: ?". I can't believe I started uploading the story in March of 2019! Man, 2020 really messed with my sense of time…

Ch. 10: Tantara Bounces Off of Moonlit Walls

[chapter title] - "Tantara" is defined as "the blare of a trumpet or horn", as seen in the Judgement card, which stands for self-reflection as well as reckoning, and can indicate rebirth. There's of course another reference to the Moon card, for intuitions and the unconscious being. Then what are the "[Moonlit] Walls"? Well, they're the part of the only Major Arcana tarot card to represent a building - they are the walls of the Tower, symbolizing destruction and disaster. When all the cards' meanings are put all together, this alludes to a time of discovery among absolute disaster.

○ Expanded, the whole title is a reference to both forms of Judgement occurring – self-reflection and change are happening with Bruce and John as their mysteries and anxieties are finally put to rest: John is undergoing his final "rebirth", seeing his reality clearly in Arkham’s padded cell; Bruce seems to finally come to terms with working with Tiffany, as his fear of not being able to protect her comes through with her showing she's able take care of herself and prove she's a true asset to the team; and the Court of Owls finally comes to light, with Matt Chaney, the Talon Adam, and the Talon Sonja Townsend finally showing their real motivations.

○ We can also interpret the title as a reckoning coming for the Owls, who have long been obscuring the truth of their deeds and whose true motives have been murky. They've built their own tower of disaster with bricks of delusion, and judgement's horn is blaring a warning through their hallways…

"X-Sharp Manufacturing" - a reference to the 10 of Swords (hence the "sharp"), the tarot card for betrayal, backstabbing, and defeat. For Bruce, there is disaster here beyond his control that ends in a [temporary] defeat. For Roman Sionis, owner of the small factory as part of Janus Inc., he's unwittingly walked into his own betrayal.

"Merlin's Flower Arrangements" - Merlin, a famous wizard, is a reference to The Magician card, who defines “as above, so below”… And as John is taken to a secondary location, so is Bruce. :)

"La Luna Painting" - La Luna, aka The Moon; remember, shadows can play tricks on your eye, so something’s afoot here… Aka "HEY GUYS THIS TOTALLY ISN’T SUSPICIOUS OR ANYTHING NO SIR"

Yelsnia Theater - Yelsnia is…actually a name. But searching for it shows my true hint, as it's "Ainsley" backwards. "Ainsley" derives from Scottish words meaning “alone, solitary” or “hermitage”. This is a reference to the Hermit card – in this case, it's blatantly upside down, referring to loneliness, isolation, and a general disconnection with mankind. AKA, the path Matt is on.

"the looming pillar tower" [Arkham] - A blatant representation of The Tower. It stands for impending disaster and "an upheaval of a foundation of reality". Of course, this can be taken in two ways. 1) That John has overcome/avoided the disaster of another mental breakdown. 2) That John’s foundation of his delusions - that he’ll wake up in or get sent back to Arkham for his sickness - was wrong in a realistic sense, as he’s made serious progress in managing his emotional issues, and right in an unrealistic one, where the only way he could be sent back was through an outside force, i.e. the Owls.

10210475 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 10-21-4-7-5, or J-U-D-G-E

13051420 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 13-5-14-20, or M-E-N-T

○ When put together, the inmate numbers read "Judgement", the tarot card is shown here for John's choices and character arc on display throughout this chapter. When the card is reversed, it implies a lack of self-awareness, which we can also attribute to "the player's" choices for John if they make Bad Decisions. If you simply take the word "judgement" at face-value (without involving the tarot) it also works wonderfully, applying to John's entire situation as being a trial/judgement set by a higher force.

"The prince returned to the tower" dialogue [the prophetic cell mate] - Whether the person speaking is physical or not, John notes he can hear the scratching of pencil on paper within the cell, implying a person is writing their words down like a story… “The prince,” (John Doe, alias Joker, traditionally the ‘Clown Prince’ of Gotham) “having returned to the tower” (Arkham Asylum, the foundations of John's issues) “to reclaim his crown,” (assurance in himself and his reality; the completion of John's "self" with his final choices and becoming Vigilante!Joker for good) “trails after the fiend” (confronts the Talon Adam, alias Owl-man) “who's flying on wings of retribution” (core beliefs, perceived sense of justice). “The fiend’s wings are big, but the bones are brittle” (the Owl-man is imposing and persistent, but his physical "wings" are his weakness).

○ If you couple the Court of Owl's belief that G*d has written down the destinies of everyone in the world [as they are each born] with the knowledge that someone was writing down a short version of John's events at Arkham…hmmm.....

Room 11 [Iman's cell room] - The 11th card in the Major Arcana is "Justice". This can reference either 1) The just-desserts coming for Talon Adam/"The Owlman", or 2) The outcome of the player’s choice to take Iman with them or not.

11 minutes + 16 seconds [remaining time on bomb timer] - 11:16. 11/16, aka my birthday! :) I only wish I had finished Chapter 10 in time for the chapter's publishing year (2020), lol~

"Our Faith brings Perseverance, and Our Perseverance guides Justice, for Mercy to God." - The Court of Owls' beliefs circle around 3 principles bringing people closer to G*d: Faith, Perseverance, and Justice. Their belief hardens their persistence in their actions (as they are written and not guided by "Evil"), and their goals are ultimately to deliver justice where the human system failed and "Evil" prevailed in "escaping", hence the guiding of one principle to another. "Mercy to God" is what is granted by righting the injustices of the world; as G*d wrote your future down exactly, Evil can corrupt it, and once corrupted this does G*d a harmful injustice. The Court considers themselves close to G*d by "mercifully" stopping further corruption via eliminating "Evil" in all it's worldly forms…

Speaking of the 3 principles, our main Owls are meant to be "embodiments" of these in the story.

○ Talon Sonja Townsend represents Faith, driving home her belief in G*d's absolute destiny. She is corrupted by her own selfish goal of eliminating her son-in-law, but is also so by-the-book she does not think to look at the obvious double-standards of the Court, and doesn't think her underlying actions are guided by "Evil".

○ Talon Adam represents Perseverance, having fought Joker to unconsciousness, and was willing to blow up Arkham with himself still inside just to eliminate it; he is the most brainwashed, but the least corrupt in motivations, only striving to get what he feels is "justice". On the flip side of Adam is Talon Evan, who despite serious injury still appeared in Court and jumped at the chance to kill Joker and Batman, despite the Court's general appreciation of Batman; he is corrupt in personal selfishness, as he possesses no "real" faith in the Court's belief system and doesn't like others getting credit by stealing his targets.

§ ...it's also worth mentioning that the names for Adam and Evan are meant to be derivative of "Adam and Eve". In this way, it can also be seen as a parallel to The Lovers card, which one can attribute to Bruce and John. While Bruce + John are oddly harmonious and undeniably have a strong bond regardless of story paths, Adam + Evan are discontent rivals, with Adam "stealing" Evan's target and good graces with the Court, and Evan very pointedly beating up and kidnapping Batman (who Adam admires) to set up Batman's eventual Judgement.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield is the main representation of Justice, though he embodies all 3 principles. The Court’s belief is that their pursuit of justice – stopping Evil/chaos via deaths of criminals – overrides their own traditional sins. Because they are being helpful to G*d, granting Them mercy by righting the injustices of Evil and putting G*d’s Word back on the right path, they are in G*d’s favor. Therefore, as the leader of the Court and the one who organized everything by handing down "God's word", he is the carrier of Justice; without him, the Court would be nowhere and G*d would be shedding more tears over their ruined work…at least, in his mind. Naturally, he is the exact opposite of what justice should be. He is biased and unwavering in strict faith, as much a carrier of chaos as he doesn't want to be…

○ Of course, this is all also up to interpretation. One can interpret Adam as "justice", Evan as "perseverance", and Sebastian as the stand-in for "God", as he is the Court's ruler and is the sole person to hand down "the word of God".

"[…]if two people you normally count on for one reason or another" - Alfred made a subtle dig at John being Bruce's boy-toy. Ouch, Al'…

"[…]given it's your pet project, and all" - Even though Selina is talking about Arkham, she's making a dig at former-Arkham-resident John being Bruce's "pet", who in her eyes was Bruce's main reason for getting Arkham revitalized. :\ Man, everybody's picking on their relationship…

petrichor - The smell proceeding rain. Because it's not a climactic fight scene in Gotham city without rain.

Ch. 11: The Tolls of Justice

[chapter title] - Naturally referring to the Justice card of the tarot, this title is the same as the story title. Funnily enough, this is the 11th chapter, and the 11th card in the tarot deck. (I guarantee you I did not plan this bit… Funny how these things play out, ain't it?) The Justice card naturally stands for cause and effect, clarity, or truth; ultimately, it's a representation of karmic retribution, and what the Owls are in dire need of facing. The title overall is referring to both the [para]phrase "do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for thee" (in the original context: a grievance over death for all out of love for community/mankind, not just one person) and the "toll" - as in cost or damage - of enacting justice. What Bruce has put himself through to become and keep being Batman, the enactor of vengeance for all those wronged in the city of Gotham, and what ultimately the Court of Owls has sacrificed - either wittingly or unwittingly - in the name of justice. It also extends to John, who for the sake of "justice" is routinely stuck in Arkham, in one way or another, and has never had a conceivably just or fair life at all - thus paying the unwilling toll opposing Bruce and the Owls. We can also extend it to Tiffany, who is making good on her work with Bruce to "pay her toll" for her own crime, with her toll being seen in a positive light as Robin, compared to what life sentence she might have been paying otherwise.

[the sword in the pulpit] - a symbolic reference to The Justice card, as the Justice card in the major arcana often depicts a sword, either alone or in someone's hand. This can also be interpreted as a reference to the Ace of Swords in the minor arcana, which is normally pointing upwards, referring to victory, truth, or ideas; when flipped, as it would be when looking at the initial depiction of the sword as a "cross", it stands for lies and confusion. The sword in the story itself is a symbol of justice, and uses snakes as the stand-in for the forces of Evil, which are destroyed by the owl making up the handle and supposedly wielding the blade.

"the skull peeking out of the knight’s helmet" [card in the box on Reverend's desk] - A very clear reference to the Death card, famous in the tarot deck. It signifies change, inevitable cycles, and new beginnings/directions. Depending on the reading, it can be interpreted as an actual death, but more often than not it’s merely showing of a life change. As this is the Reverend’s deck, it seems the last card he drew was Death… The viewer can interpret this as a reading from the Reverend into the Arkham plot, where Death is representing John’s own changes, the end of Talon Adam’s latest “cycle”, or the actual deaths that had occurred (no matter how many there are in the end). The viewer can also read this as the Reverend trying to find his own fate, the fate of Roman Sionis for his trial, or Batman’s fate. All of them are quite valid, but I feel the most accurate interpretation is that the Rev' was trying to read the future of the Court of Owls.

○ …as mentioned above, the Death card is the most overt reference to the Tarot. This way, if someone didn't piece together the weird chapter titles, the specified numbers and number-letter strings, and/or the odd names of people and places, they'd be able to double-back and see them as clues. They are put there purely as a storytelling clue for the audience. As you can tell, the tarot references increased with each chapter…almost like someone is trying to get your attention…

[the framed painting] - a reference to The High Priestess, aka card II of the tarot. This card is indicative of intuition and looking within, and can signal to mysteries at hand or a higher power at work. The pillars on the card are (hilariously enough) marked with a B and J, and are in black and white, respectively. They stand for Boaz (Strength) and Jachin (Establishment), and are meant to represent the duality of nature, good/evil, masculine/femine, etc. Naturally, both pillars are equal. In this depiction, it is both relating to “the player’s” own duality, with the ability to be flexible as Bruce and John and have both good and bad decisions play through the story, and as a strong hint to a higher power being present.

8-9-6-3 [candle puzzle] - It takes a bit to work out by sorting through the alphabetic values to each number, but it doesn’t make a complete word. On ye olde phone keypad, 1 is always null in value, so it’s always unlit in the candle sequence, and since there are 4 other numbers present we know it doesn’t count as part of the string. (If there were only 3, you could guess a year from your notes.) My idea for the “game” specs of this part would be that the key-code would be somewhat randomized, either using a specific year (if Tiffany and/or Iman are not present, this is *always* the case, as you have to utilize your background notes and the candles by yourself), a few translated letter combinations just for fun, or an occasional number-card type combo, as presented here. (In some lucky scenarios, “the player” doesn’t have to solve the candle puzzle, since Tiffany can figure out the year by herself and just call you over when she opens the door. You still have the option of looking around, though!) In this case, the values are another tarot-themed hint, using the card number first: 8-w-n-d, for the 8 of Wands, which alludes to quick actions. AKA “Get ready for quick-time events!!!”

"looking more like the king on the throne than a judge" - Meant to allude to The Emperor card, the ultimate royal symbol in the major arcana and always depicted with a king. Traditionally this symbolizes power, authority, control, etc., but when reversed it alludes to overbearingness, arrogance, and chaos. For the Owls, they would likely see themselves as the upright depictions, even when presented upside down before the person doing their reading… And here is no better example, with the Reverend Overfield taking place as the ultimate authority over the Court.

"like [Sonja] had a say in commanding the room" - Alluding to The Empress, in conjunction with Rev’s position, this card alludes to femininity, motherhood, nurturing, creativity, and/or abundance. When reversed, it stands for neglect, creative blocks, overbearing, and/or uncaring. Sonja is a good example of an overbearing mother, trying to make decisions for her child because she thinks she knows best - thus fits the reversed reading well.

[Courtroom layout] - How curious is it that I haven't referenced The Devil when we have so many opportunities? That's because I strove to show this card rather than reference it overtly. The Devil card depicts El Diablo in the upper middle, lording over the card, with two souls chained to him at the bottom. The classic depiction shows a female demon-like human on one side and a male demon-like human on the other. As such, Rev. Sebastian sits on the high bench as the judge, overlooking the courtroom, and Sonja and Evan sit beneath him, one embedded on each side of the lower bench, sitting before him rather than beside him. Naturally, The Devil card represents temptation, manipulation, and materialism (though not necessarily of physical things). There is nothing more suited to The Devil card than the Reverend Sebastian Overfield and the Talons.

Circe | Cindy Peterson - Circe was the original Black Mask's downfall, or at least serious decent into who would be Black Mask. In her origin, she was a model who seduced Roman and ended up being blamed for his poor business choices, as he completely revolved Janus Inc.'s new direction around her image, somewhat at her insistence. Roman seemed to love her, but grew vengeful when she dumped him. She was named Circe, after the witch who lured men to their doom. In this story, she plays a much less active role but ultimately still serves as Roman's downfall, though in a very different way. : she does seem to care about Roman, going so far as to hide him on her yacht, not rat him out for his overt gang activities, and even leave Gotham with him for good to run from Batman despite not being in a relationship with him for long. But Bruce is able to spin this to his advantage, openly lying that she was working for him undercover and twisting Roman's affection for her into paranoid doubt, which he eventually lashed out with and ended up being caught because of. Circe never got a ~proper~ name in the original canon, so I dubbed her Cindy. The name "Cindy" can be boiled down to “person from Kynthos” and since Circe is Greek… Well, it fits well enough!

"[…]waltzing into the danger-zone without his wingman" - It’s Top Gun's “You can be my wingman anytime”, but with ALL the homoerotic implications!

"the Degnah Club" - The Degnah Club can be inferred to be one of Roman Sionis’ clubs, or just one his False-Face Society visited on occasion, but the event that happened there is implied to have taken place before the start of the story. “Degnah” when written backwards is “hanged”, referencing the Hanged Man card. When upright, this card means sacrifice and selfless acts. When reversed, as very much implied here, it’s an unnecessary sacrifice. This is both a play on what Roman’s implying – which is likely a very violent event – being an “unnecessary sacrifice” as part of Matt Chaney’s greater scheme for the Court of Owls, and as an allusion to Matt’s fate, where his morals/good choices/old law-abiding life were thrown away for an inevitably failed pursuit.

"[Tiffany | Robin's] personal count of 13" - The 13th card in the tarot is Death, bringer of change and ender of cycles. It’s also a traditionally unlucky number. This number is the “body-count” of Tiffany’s run through the Court so far. Does it reference the end of the Court's latest cycle, or something else…?

Accompanying the Tarot, as mentioned earlier I also tied in other fortune-telling methods, with the counting of crows and reference to the zodiacal horoscope. I also threw in allusions to luck, with The Lucky Hotel and The Lot (in both name and the fact that it's a casino). This is all tied entirely around the concept of fate and being able to change it with the choices you have made or currently make as "the player". Luck itself has nothing to do with your choices and the fates you guide Bruce and John to, and it's not something "the player" can control - it's an illusion, with things seemingly lucky for our heroes having already been written in on purpose to lead to the next event. It's essentially a long, drawn-out joke.

Talons/Reverend's Owl Masks - I wanted the Talons to be set apart from the rest of the Court and have special owl faces. The Court's owl masks are as follows:

○ Talon Adam - Great Horned Owl; chosen for the owl's large size and hunting ability, as well as the protruding "horn" feathers mimicking Batman's cowl. This is the most common owl used in media. The "horns" are meant to clue the reader into the culprit early on. Adam's a Batman-fan, so he mimicked Bats' style.

○ Talon Sonja - Snowy Owl; chosen for the owl's fairly elegant feather pattern and Sonja's ~colder~ personality. Sonja had a masquerade one to show her "humane" side to prospective Owls, but always wears a full-faced mask for the rest of the Court.

○ Talon Evan - Barn Owl; chosen for it's ghost-like face and screeching call, and it's hunting skills. They sometimes are seen as bad omens. While Adam was a mysterious stalker, Evan is overtly dangerous upon appearance, in no due part to his temper.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield - Eastern Screech Owl; this owl is smaller than the other, but has similar "horn" feathers to the Great Horned, and a gray face. The "horns" are meant to be another a mirror to Batman, but can be considered another allusion to The Devil. It isn't the largest or flashiest owl of the bunch, but Sebastian has the most power of all the Court members.

[The "Justice" bell-toll] - traditionally, a church bell tolls to signify someone passing into death. In the Court/Church of Mercy's case, they use a bell rung at midnight to signify a complete "trial" and a carry-out of their own brand of "justice"…which also culminates in death. The "trial" shown in this chapter is a rarity, as the offenders are actually present to get a talking-to before their sentencing - generally, the Church will hold a mock-trial to decide the fates of the perpetrators…after some previous counseling with Talons and select older members. (Think of the Trial like a ceremonial conference for the majority of the time.)

Chapter 12: Ten Cheers to the World!

[title] - The act of cheering, aka toasting, is to raise a cup and drink towards someone or something in celebration or tribute. Here, it's referring to the tarot's Ten (X) of Cups, which is pretty much the best card you could pull in a reading - when upright, as it is here, it means celebration, fulfillment, and happiness! The World card is the final card in the Major Arcana, encapsulating completion, accomplishment, and harmony, all from inner and outer sources. It might seem redundant at first, but the Cups suite in the Minor Arcana is all in regards to emotions, relationships, and love; in comparison, the Major Arcana represents a journey from innocence and ignorance to wisdom and completion. So you have an emotional celebration with fulfilling relationships, and the story's path marked as complete in both a literal and figurative sense.

"An accident at Ace Chemicals" [Iman & John's convo] - Referencing the majority of Joker origins, wherein pre-Joker fell into the vat of chemicals at Ace Chemicals and survived, leading to a psychotic breakdown due to his changed appearance and/or the circumstances around to what led him to Ace Chemicals in the first place.

"the string of deaths in the Velestra mafia" [Iman & John's convo] - a ref to the former mafia/main antagonists in Batman: Mask of the Phantom that kept getting killed off one by one by the Phantom. Whether The Phantom exists in this world…we'll have to wait and see, I guess!

"an unrecoverable ‘data loss’ at the Agency" [Iman & John's convo] - not a reference to canon, but my own theory on a potential background for John being a former Agent…(see further below)

"Et tu, Peeps?" - a riff on "Et tu, Brute?", Julius Ceasar's last words as he was betrayed and stabbed to death.

"Maybe I was someone in the wrong place at the wrong time" / "someone at the right place at the wrong time" [John monologue] - Another reference to the most popular background choice, the Ace Chemical origin story, and it’s variations. Though probably lacking Batsy’s involvement, considering the timeframe…

"Maybe I was some experiment gone wrong" [John monologue] - A reference to a different author's Season 3 replacement fanfic, where John ended up being a genetically modified human/test tube baby. Unfortunately the work got deleted from Ao3??? And my bookmark is gone, so I can't name the fic… But I still remember you, Unknown Author!!! It was a fun story and I've never forgotten that twist!!!! \( >o< )/

"Maybe I was even an Agent, like you" [John monologue] - My own little theory as to why the Agency was so keen on getting him for the Suicide Squad – and why he was considered a dangerous part of the gang despite not doing too much of interest in Season 1 (even if you consider the theory that he was helping Lady Arkham get her chemicals/drugs) – was that he was part of the Agency somehow. Either an agent who screwed up on the job, a rogue agent that escaped death via Agency trap…or maybe a guy who knew too much! But it's a fun, fresh idea to bring to Joker's multi-choice past, right? (( ;w;)) <(please say yes)

hippocampus - The region(s) of the brain that primarily deals with memory.

[the photo] - I wanted to leave it up to the reader/"player" to decide what kind of pre-Arkham past the TellTale!Joker has… So whether you think the picture Iman has is a "real" photo of him or not is entirely up to you.

"[…]'you're the moon to my sun'" [John, 'paraphrasing' Bruce] - In Tarot terms, this is a reference to the Sun card, representing joy, success, and masculinity, as well as another reference to the Moon card. One can also interpret the Sun card as "success in overcoming your obstacles or fears". As the Moon card can represent inner fears and femininity, it's a fitting opposite for interpreting this romantic line. While Bruce doesn't exactly embody the "positivity" and "joy" that this card represents, he brings that feeling into John's life, and Bruce is more traditionally masculine in contrast to John. This is also an overt use of the phrase "[they're] the moon to their sun" - a romantic notion that one person, though the opposite to the other, is completely complementary, like a One True Love. TeamFourStar's playthrough of TellTale Batman: The Enemy Within had not one, but TWO mentions of the "moon to [their] sun" line, the second of which was referring to John and Bruce. This one's for you, fellas!!! ( ^3^)

○ Funnily enough, The Moon is a very broadly interpreted card. Sometimes it's not a good card to have because deception, manipulation, illusion, and mystery/confusion are all potentially at work in your life. Sometimes it's an excellent card, because it tells you examine your feelings to resolve a problem, or tells you that you aren't seeing the whole picture. The reversed of the card is often attributed to avoidance of one's problems and further confusion, but also clarity, truth, and the full view of what's going on. If John is the embodiment of The Moon in the upright position, then I say Bruce is that of the Reversed Moon…

"[…] two lovers against the world" - Another classic romantic phrase that can be turned into a Tarot reference. The original phrase is meaning two romantic partners are pitted against "the world"/external forces that threaten to tear them apart, but they are committed to each other regardless. You can't really pit cards against each other in a reading, but you can read Past-Present-Future. In which case, in story terms, The Fool is always the Past, The Lovers is the Present here, and The World is the Future. As mentioned earlier, The World represents harmony and completion - if reversed, it would mean incompletion and chaos. The Lovers card is representing a strong union being forged between two people, very often romantic in terms of the Tarot. The meaning is usually attributed to decisions in a relationship being made (whether to start a new one, or to deepen the one you have), but it can also represent people outright, as well as an indication that a new partnership/relationship is on the way. When reversed, Lovers represents disharmony, imbalance, or a loss of relationship. In our story, of course, our two lovers are representing the upright reading of the card in the Present, showing as a strong couple. As it's "against", it implies that The World is something that will be a challenge, so it's likely Reversed. Which is a pretty good representation of Gotham in general, isn't it? lol~

○ The Lovers can also be seen symbolically in chapters 8 and 9, when Bruce and John are laying opposite each other and linking pinkies/holding hands at the hotel. :)

○ John uses the romantic line regardless of whether he's a vigilante or not! If you didn't get the Best Ending, aka our Sleepover Ending, Bruce would wind up back in the parlor with John as usual, and once the rest of the fam are gone (if they were there at all), he uses it to describe themselves. In the villain route, Bruce and John converse in the Batmobile on the way back to Arkham, and John uses the line there, too. ;3c

○ Naturally, you don't really get this complete scene if "your" Bruce is with Selina in the vigilante route.

Ending Type - …it's not a tarot reference or anything specific. I just wanted to let you know that you can ONLY get the Sleepover Ending if you have Tiffany and John in Bruce's party on good terms with each other AND with Bruce.

○ You can drive Tiffy away from Bruce by saying she shouldn't be with them at the Court Battle, but also by generally not believing in her/being mean and giving a neutral reaction to her staying during Battle; she won't go back to the cave with Bruce, so you don't get a chance to speak to her directly afterwards as either character. (John can still have his conversation with her via text, and they can still end on the same terms.)

○ If you don't have vigilante!John, there's no one else to help lift the things, so Tiffy's idea is never brought up.

○ John is always simping desperate for Bruce's attention, so even if you don't treat him as well in a platonic relationship, he'll still be there for this Ending type. ;_;

○ If you have a Romanced!Selina in your party, Selina will join you in both Court Battle and the Ending as seen in this story. It'll either cause her to take Iman's place (if she is not present) or to have extra spot suddenly appear above the rest of the group. Like Tiffy, she overheats and needs more space too cool off.

§ You can also talk to her as John, and sort of makeup/say your part of the team now. (But John will still be somewhat jealous of the attention she gets.)

§ John doesn't get the emotional hug with Bruce if Selina is around - especially since she doesn't temporarily leave with Tiffany and Iman - but the conversation is almost the same.

§ Naturally you can talk to her as Bruce, too. I don't think on her options too much, but they'll likely talk about change and what it means to have this "job" and internalizing too much of their emotions/themselves.

§ If you and Selina are only friends, Selina can join you in the Court Battle, but will text you instead of sticking around.

1:06 A.M & [Clock time on Belltower in Chapter 11] - Bruce's sense of time is off, which is why he's surprised it's after 1AM and not closer to 2AM. (Can't blame him, he was unconscious for a while and a whole bunch of stuff happened.) I figured if Bruce broke out of his kidnapping ropes at 10PM sharp, and drove all the way to the GCPD, that's about 20-30 minutes in his supercharged car, if not a little less, plus with 5 minutes to escape proper. If we think GCPD is sort of a halfway point to Old Gotham/The Coventry district, it's another 15 minutes to there. So he'd arrive at the Church of Mercy before 11PM, and wait John for around another 10-15 minutes, including with all the investigating inside. The "trial" scene probably took another 10 minutes until Batman crashed it, and fight scenes seem long because of all the action going on, but by the time Bruce and co' leave, it's not 12AM yet. The bell-tower in the Church of Mercy is actually off by about 20 minutes… And what do you know, card XX (20) of the tarot's Major Arcana is Judgement, alluding to karma at work! It can also be attributed to a life change. ;D

"11:43:20PM" - this wasn't deliberately meant to allude to anything. It took the batfam about 2 minutes from the last toll to leave the church. Bells' tolling speed is varying between clocks and towers, but you can estimate about 30-45 seconds for a full twelve. If it rang at 11:40 exactly, then…ugh, this is sounding like math homework.

Epilogue:

[Still a WIP, so will be updated after it's uploaded! Shouldn't have much, though! Saay, isn't there a Major Arcana card missing? (9v9) I wonder what that iiiiis~]

So that was [just about] all of them! I had a lot of fun weaving them throughout the story this time, especially with the story's themes! AtBoM didn't have as nearly as many, so they weren't really worth mentioning before.

I hope this was helpful to those of you who were interested in diving beneath the surface of BtTTS: TToJ~!

[slowburnsunsets]

i wonder if the sdr2 cast ever needed something to do after a few years of being on the island post-dr3.

a couple years down the line and they still have a lot of work cut out for them—maintaining the island, helping out the rebuilt future foundation when they can, taking care of each other and themselves to heal. but if they’re gonna be on the island for almost the entire rest of their lives (as far as they can tell), they’ll probably start needing new projects to work on eventually.

as the world starts to recover and life on the mainland starts to return to some semblance of normalcy over time, some materials start to become more suppliable. wood and metal, glass and cement, brick and tile.

they start out as scraps in the first few years, just bits and pieces that can’t really be of much use aside from something small like making a birdhouse. but somewhere down the line, the scraps get bigger; broken bits and junk and pieces turn into planks and packages and parts and spares.

as the years go by and with more and more time on their hands, the sdr2 cast would probably do a lot of things together. just for fun. for the hell of it. for the sake of being all together.

they’d start using the materials and resources sent back to them and get to work. building a single little shack to keep their tools and whatnot. smaller things like a table or a chair too, if they still have some supplies leftover.

it takes a bit of time, learning how to build. learning how to live their new lives. learning to create and heal and celebrate. at first it’s far from perfect, because half of them were definitely not the ultimate constructionist or ultimate architect (well, maybe hinata now, but he’s still adjusting to his new talents).

saionji sits nearby and acts as the world’s toughest architectural critic (“what the hell do you even know about building!” someone had yelled).

one time souda asked for a hex screwdriver and tsumiki accidentally handed him an allen key. the split-second look of surprise on his face sent her into hysterics, and he ended up spending nearly 10 minutes trying to explain to her that they “pretty much serve the same purpose so it’s fine!” and “please stop crying, tsumiki, before koizumi hears you and yells at me for making ya cry!”

then, after multiple incidents involving lack of supervision and very destructive classmates way too close to a work-in-progress garden house, new rules are set up:

1.) no one is allowed near a structure that’s under construction if they’re by themselves.

2.) if they are by themselves, it has to be someone that can be trusted to not, well, break anything.

3.) mioda is not allowed to play music near a construction site.

3.) nidai and owari are not allowed to spar near a construction site.

4.) souda is not allowed to test out any new machinery he makes near a construction site.

5.) tanaka is not allowed to let any of the animals he takes care of from the mainland loose near a construction site.

6.) and komaeda . . . well, komaeda’s not allowed near a construction site at all.

when more materials and resources are sent in over time, they start on bigger projects. gazebos and swings, outdoor tables and homes. some of them choose to have their house built on the actual beach, right next to the sea, when they decide it’s time to change from their cottages. others decide to keep theirs further inland, away from the salt in the wind.

their projects take quite a while to build, but they’ve got time, and they’ve got the hang of it by this point. years and years keep on passing by, all the while they’re moving on to grander, greater things.

sonia gets a traditional japanese home, just like she always wanted. tanaka finally has stables and a shelter to host the animals he rescues from the mainland on missions for the future foundation.

mioda and saionji are thrilled when an outdoor stage is built for them, on the nights when they all decide to gather around and pretend they’re putting on shows or at a concert (just like the way the world used to be).

even though it takes a lot longer to build, nidai is pleased with the way the dojo turns out (owari seems pretty pumped too). a photo gallery for koizumi, who spends her days photographing their new beginnings lest they ever forget.

and a memorial for the friends and families they lost, for the people they killed without even knowing it, for the people who went through the same hells they did, for nanami, who they hope can see all that they’ve accomplished with one another.

they work together, building things and starting new projects. taking on missions for the future foundation and helping out when they can. and when they aren’t working, they’re sitting around at a table they built, next to a fire pit they made too, on the edge of where the land meets the sea and the stars are right out above them, telling stories from the past and making plans for the future.

[moonlightstars16]

Caring and Comfort

I want to thank @ponpasta for allowing me to write this one-shot biased of a beautiful piece of SU artwork. Created by said talented and skilled artist. I hope you’ll enjoy! ;) Here is the link to the fanart:

https://ponpasta.tumblr.com/post/617447303584825344/mods-are-asleep-hurry-post-nap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was setting on another beautiful day on Beach City. Some spent there days relax and enjoying the weekend. Some traveled, others shopped and most just took an extra hour or five to sleep in.

But not for Connie

Cram school was becoming more and more like a job. But she wasn’t going to give-up just because it got harder. She was a straight A student. Earning nothing less than that within her entire education so far. Was she pressured to be ‘perfect’?

Her parents knew she was a hard worker, always supporting and telling her it was okay to just do her best. So not by them. The school emphasized the importance of an education but gave even failing students the benefit of the doubt (to an extent but still). Not there either.

Connie wasn’t pressured by anyone or by anything to be a perfect student. She pressured herself. Why? Well she loved the praise she received when doing a great job. Plus colleges were more open to those who have good grades. She wanted to get into a good one. Jay Hawk university was a tough college to get into. Surely they wouldn’t expect anything less than perfection, right? And she certainly wasn’t going to allow one bad grade on her record.

So she worked herself to the bone. Dark circles under her eyes, Coffee nearby and loads of school work piled up around her. She did take her time to learn and absorb any new information correctly. Reviewing old info over and over as not to forget.

Then exams came around.

Tests were one thing. A simple full day reviewing and getting a jump start of the new material was easy. Exams? ... All hell broke loose. Her room was too small for all the extra desk space. The kitchen in her house had horrible lighting. The living room was too susceptible and cozy for her to loose focus easily. Heck, even the Buddy Budwick library had to many other students crammed in there to study. What she needed was a new place.

A certain beach house by the other side of a cliff.

Now it was stereotypical that girlfriends and boyfriends distracted each other when a certain test came up. However Steven knew how important school was for Connie. A new environment to study in was quite refreshing. So he agreed to let her study at his place. The waves were calming, the gems away on a Little Homeschool field trip and he was alone. It was a good setting for her to focus, from what he had looked up on the internet.

He cleared the table, made snacks and refreshments, a pillow for her to sit on in case the chair grew uncomfortable and even made a playlist for her to listen too. He even had bought extra paper, pens/mechanical pencils, erasers, highlighters and sticky notes just in case. Soon Connie had arrived and was walking up the front door steps. Note cards in hand, pushing them into her pockets.

“Hi Connie, come on in.” Steven held the door wide open for her.

“Hi Steven, thank you so much for letting me study here.” Connie paused and gasped with a blush as she saw the array of snacks and study supplies on the table. “You did all this for me?”

“Of course, I know this is a stressful time for you. So I wanted to make sure you were prepared.” Steven ran a hand behind the back of his head whilst explaining to her. Watching as she smiled brightly and set her bag down. Throwing herself in his embrace as her arms wrapped around his neck. Pecking his lips a couple of times with gratitude.

“I can’t thank you enough!” A second later she was pulling out her laptop, books, notes she had taken, etc. Steven chuckled at the sight and sighed. Looking at her while she set up her workspace. Then walking over as she sat down, cradling her cheek and turned her gently(with permission) so her eyes were on him; placing a gentle kiss on her lips briefly. 

“I’ll be upstairs if you need anything. Take all the time you need.” With another peck on her cheek he walked upstairs and began to play some old video games. Taking some much needed “me-time” for himself. Connie instantly began her work. Starting with what she was going over while on her way here.

Hours had passed. Steven only went down once to get a drink, some snacks himself and to use the bathroom. Making sure to be quiet as Connie seemed to be in her own private world. He adored her perseverance, yet hated to see her over-working herself. Some of her behaviors were almost identical to his own when he ran Little Homeschool. It took a snow day with his family, and a good heart to heart, to remind himself to slow down and relax.

Still he didn’t want to break her concentration. This was her exams she was studying for after all. However he didn’t want the matter to slide. So he began to plan out a day for the two of them to relax and enjoy the day. No school, no work, just fun times like they did years ago. Once back upstairs he took out an old journal and began to write a few ideas for what they would do together.

By the time Steven was done, it was around seven o’clock in the evening. It seemed like a good idea to check on how she was doing. Ordering their favorite pizza was another good idea. However what he saw downstairs surprised him. Connie had her arms folded on the table and her head rested on top. Face hidden in her notes.

Reaching out he placed his hand on her shoulder. Only to be met with her head jerking up and a face covered in tears. Eyes swollen red and a bit puffy. It broke his heart to see her like this. Pulling up a chair to sit beside her using his thumb to brush away her tears.

“Connie, what’s wrong?”

“I-I can’t seem t-to retain aany m-more i-i-information!” She sniffed closing her eyes, head bowing in shame as Steven pulled her close. Her head on his shoulder her arms drooping to the floor. One hand on her waist, the other stroking her hair as he felt how much her entire body ached.

“It’s okay Connie, you learned a lot and I know you can pass this exam.”

“No! I need to learn everything! I have to get an A on this exam and be perfect! I have to be prefect!” By the time she had begun venting, fresh, hot tears fell as her arms clutched onto the front of his infamous black and yellow star shirt.

“What do you mean ‘you have to be perfect’? You don’t have to be anyone but yourself Connie.”

“I’ll be a failure!....I don’t-.... I can’t-... I’m so scared Steven! What if I get rejected by Jay Hawk?! What if I don’t get into a good college?! What am I going to do if that happens?! ....I....I don’t want to fail Steven....I can’t afford to fail...” With every claim and question that came from her lips, he only held her tighter.

This was his beloved Connie. His best friend, his teammate, his jam bud. It was only natural for her to feel this way. But hearing it from her right now broke his heart in pieces like a shattered gem. With determination in his heart, he kissed the top of her head before responding.

“Shh.... listen to me Connie. I know you are a very intelligent woman. You can get those A’s because you have applied herself a lot more than anyone I’ve ever seen. However you do not need to be perfect to be who you are. If Jay Hawk rejects you, then it’s there loss. There are so many colleges out there who would love to have you as their student.

Connie, Garnet may know the future, but even she has trouble seeing unforeseen possibilities. It’s okay to be scared, but it’s even better to know you have people like your parents, friends, the gems, my dad, myself and many others. We are here for you like you were here for me. I’m going to do the same thing for you.”

“Will you still love me?” Her voice was so quiet yet he smiled and rested his head on top of hers.

“Of course, silly. I will always love you no matter what. Even if you over work yourself.” He smiled more upon hearing her faint giggling, soon followed by a yawn.

“I love you, Steven...” She yawned again. “I’m so...tired.” With another yawn coming out, Steven picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Humming a gentle tune, lulling her to sleep. It didn’t take long for her to begin falling asleep. In fact it was the quickest time he ever saw her doing so. They had so much more to talk about but for now, sleep was more important.

Once in his room he slid himself and her in the bed. Pulling the comforter over them both. Watching as she snuggled into his chest. Himself running his hand through her soft curls. Ending his sweet and serene lullaby for her. Whispering one last thing to her. One phrase he will continue to say forever.

“I love you too, my beloved Connie.”

[artnerd1123]

A Familiar World

Pen Pals (pt 1) ——————————————

Just a bit of book exchange and small talk between a couple sorcerers. 

The masterpost for AFW can be found here. The chapter post for AFW can be found here.

——————————————

whattup belle n @vaaloirr are back at it again with another joint chapter, ft alex n journ!!! vaal wrote the letters by alex, and i wrote the ones by journ! these were rlly fun to write, so y’all will prolly see more in the future :>

hope y’all enjoy!!! 

Dear Journal

I hope you’re having a good week, over there, hope life’s treating you well. I’m here with my book recommendation, as usual. I hope you like this one. It’s an intriguing little piece called “Forgotten Shoals”, a story about a small group of people, mostly mercenaries I think, getting shipwrecked and separated on a very strange island. I was a little lost? About halfway through? The story’s kind of too vague for its own good at certain points, but overall it was pretty good. It’s in a pretty old time period, when there were still kings and stuff, so that’s pretty interesting, how they handle that. It’s only two books, but they’re long ones. They make for fun animated book nights, especially if you’re watching in a dark room. It really helps the atmosphere, so there’s that to keep in mind.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Thanks so much for the rec! It came at a great time, I’d just finished with the last series. I’ll be sure to let you know what I think of this one. I’ll work them into my schedule sometime. Probably at midnight. That’s the best time to read, haha. Maybe we’ll both get confused, and we can compare notes. Life’s ok over here. I finally decided to get better acquainted with my roommate. My book rec for you comes from him, actually. It’s a book of really old questor legends- maybe you’ve read it before? Sorry if you have! He called it “Legenday legacies.” There’s a whole series of them. They don’t really go in any order, but the oldest are marked first. I’ve only read a couple, but they’re really cool. It’s best to have them animated, too. My roommate said they were old oral stories that someone finally decided to write down, so the animation has some really neat extra details. This letter got a little long, haha. Hope you’re doing ok over in your town!

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, midnight’s the best time for a spooky book, haha. And thank you for the rec! I actually had the first book when I was a kid, but I forgot it when I left home. I would love to read it again, and to read the other books too… I’ll definitely try to snag them the next time I’m over there. I always meant to go back to them, so thanks for the reminder. And I’m glad you’re getting along with your roommate, it wouldn’t be very fun if you weren’t, haha. I couldn’t really picture myself with a roommate, me and Lucy is just fine. And I’m doing fine, though things are a little hectic over here right now. Someone says they saw a monster nearby recently, which… I’m pretty certain was just a random wolf they got spooked by? It was late. But you know. Rumors are a hard snowball to stop once they get rolling. Hopefully it’ll all get sorted out. Anyway, I’m running out of room on the paper, so I gotta call it here, haha. Have a good one.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Oh, nice! Hopefully the next ones are a good read. And I get leaving books at home on accident. I had to leave a bunch of mine when I left home, too. I got the important stuff! But you can’t quite replace a lifetime of books overnight, haha. At least we have libraries and book merchants, right? Roommate life isn’t for everyone. I’m glad you and Lucy are getting along well at your place. Though the rumors sound rough. It’s hard when a whole town is going off about something. Sorry you’re dealing with those. Hopefully they’ll quit when they catch whatever the critter is, haha. Could make for a town legend, right? I’ve heard plenty of those. They’re certainly something. Before I run out of paper, I actually have one somewhat unrelated question. Does Lucy ever run around the apartment at 3am for no reason? My roommate’s familiar is a cat, and he does that. I’m not sure if it’s a familiar thing or a cat thing. We didn’t have any cats in the house growing up. Hope this letter finds you well.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, a lifetime of books is not the easiest thing to replace, haha. And the rumors aren’t really rough, so much as annoying. It’s a merchant town, so once monster rumors start, everybody’s gotta hold up while some people go out and find whatever it was. They’re very on edge when the topic of monsters is brought up. But hey, what can you do. Hopefully it’ll be a boring town legend at the end of the day, haha. And as far as the 3am thing, yes. All the damn time, every night. Without fail. My mom had a few cats when I was growing up, and I can confirm that it’s a cat thing. They just do that. I don’t know why, you can have the laziest cat in the world and they’ll still sprint around at full speed at 3am. It’s actually kind of hilarious. Also, if we’re gonna be trading questions, I actually had one… Your roommate is a questor, right? I was wondering if you could maybe ask for a few questor tips from him for me, if that's alright. Have a good one.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

I mean, a legend’s a legend, right? But I do hope whatever it is doesn’t bother the townsfolk much. We used to have some problems with woodsy critters back at home. I don’t know if they’re still having issues now, but sometimes wolves can get pretty bold, haha. And that’s good to know. It is pretty funny to just hear my roommate’s familiar sprinting around outside my door at Revaew awful hours of the night. I just have to make sure he doesn’t wiggle his way into my room. He’ll go curl up on my bed to claim it and not move until 6am. Usually that’s not a problem because I stay up late, but it means I crash later during the day. Not so great when I'm in the middle of magic training, haha. I went and asked my roommate about questor tips for you. I didn’t know questors were actually a separate class of sorcerer, so that made for an interesting conversation! He told me that you should keep an eye on the questing board- you have one in town, right?- and to keep some sort of compass/map on you among your supplies. Make sure to pack a snack and water if you don’t already. If it’s a fetch quest, make sure to find the quest giver beforehand to check for any special conditions. He said a bunch of other stuff, too, but half of it sounded like he was trying to be a mother hen. The guy’s a bit of a softie. I could send you my notes with my next letter if you’d like to see all of them.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, yeah… I still think it’s just a wolf. Or maybe a bear. Who knows. Honestly, I would be more shocked if people weren’t bothered by this, merchants are just such uppity people. At least the ones around here. You definitely don’t wanna crash during magic training, yeah. I remember when I was training with my uncle, when I used to live with him, I was not good at keeping myself in check at all. Most of the time not spent practicing was spent napping because I would use all my energy trying to get this one spell, and then just pass out. I was young and excited, to be fair. He got me out of that habit. And maybe you should let the little familiar claim your bed sometime, there’s probably room for both of you, haha. Y’know, the more you talk about him, the more I think he and Lucy would get along great. You didn’t know questors were another class of sorcerers? I mean, I guess the distinction isn’t exactly obvious, now that I think about it. And we do actually have a questing board! Though it’s a little bare lately. Mostly just odd jobs, not much else. Any nearby dungeons have apparently decided to be quite shy, haha. Be sure to tell your roommate that the advice is appreciated, he sounds like a nice guy. And I would love to see your notes! If you’re good with it, that is.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Haha, maybe I will. It’s sort of weird sleeping in a room by myself right now. I have had a lot of siblings. Maybe the company will do me some good. And maybe we can have them meet up the next time you’re in town. I’m sure my roommate would let me take his familiar out. His name is Roo. He’s a shy little guy, but the library is quiet enough that he’d do ok. Just have to find him a fairy tale book and he’s all set, haha. As for magic training, that sounds so cool! Having your uncle train you sounds so exciting. My old mentor sort of took me under her wing because I was trespassing on her woods. She’s a strict teacher, but I’m really grateful to her. She taught me a lot, and gave me an amplifier a while ago. We still exchange letters and I still try my best to stick to what she told me. Learning magic is hard work, but I’m willing to reach for it. Guy’s got a dream, you know? And, for the record, I didn’t grow up in a very magical place. I think my magic mentor was the only sorceress in the entire area of my hometown, haha. Totally different story in this town. There’s lots of sorcerers- my roommate included. He’s pretty cool. Buys me coffee and gives me training tips sometimes. Anyways, all this to say I’ve attached a copy of the notes. Sorry if the ink is a little faded. I wanted to try out a duplication spell I’ve been practicing, and I don’t know if it took all the way. Simple spells can be hard for me, but I’m working on it, haha. Hope you and Lucy are doing well.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, I bet the change from “a lot of siblings” to “one roommate and his familiar” is a bit jarring. I wouldn’t really know? I was an only child. To be honest, I always wondered what having siblings was like, maybe you could tell me sometime? If that’s good with you? Maybe when we introduce Roo and Lucy to each other. Roo is such a cute name by the way, I hope the little guy knows that, haha. As far as my uncle goes, he was a very good teacher! He knew a whole lot of spells, and still tried to learn even more. He was a show sorcerer, so he knew so much neat stuff… I kinda miss him, but you know. He’s got his career, and I wanted to be a questor. At least it helped me get used to travelling a lot, haha. Your teacher sounds super cool too, like? Meeting a sorcerer in the middle of the woods and getting taken under their wing? That’s some legend stuff, man. Awesome. My town wasn’t very magical either, but it wasn’t super unmagical? There were sorcerers here and there. Not enough to really call the town magical, though. It wasn’t a hotspot, I guess is what I’m trying to say. I heard it’s become even less so since I left, but I digress. Oh! And the notes were really great by the way! Thank you so much! And don’t worry about the faded ink, I’ve read more illegible, haha. I think you did a fine job. You’ll get better with practice! I believe in you! And we’re doing fine, though Lucy is getting a bit claustrophobic. I hope you guys are doing well too.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

I apologize in advance if my handwriting gets messy. I’ve rewritten this letter at least three times now. My hand just tends to make absolute chicken scratch if I get too excited. That being said, you mentioned your uncle being a show sorcerer? How long has he been performing? How did he start? What category is he? Are all his shows the same or does he switch it up every time? What does he travel in? Sorry for all the questions, I’ll stop myself there. Show sorcerers are sort of an interest of mine. An aspiration, if you will, haha. Hearing that you worked with one sent my mind into overdrive. That’s so cool! Maybe we could practice spells together sometime. And a legend? Maybe. My mentor tells a lot of those. Sometimes I swear she’s telling an actual story that happened to her. She never confirms, though. I don’t know how much of legend material I am yet. I have to work on my magic some more. One day, though. It’ll happen. Especially if the notes weren’t as bad as I thought, haha. It’s progress! Also, we’ve got solidarity on non magic towns, haha. Glad we’ve both got somewhere that has more pizazz. Just a couple magic guys trying to make their way in the world, ammirite? Anyways, sorry about Lucy. Maybe taking her on a walk would help? We’re doing ok over here. My roommate has been painting scenes from the books we’ve animated. It’s pretty cool. And Roo seemed to like the idea of meeting Lucy! He was a tad nervous, but that’s the norm for him. I think he’d like having another cat friend. Maybe we can get together soon? I might have some sibling stories. Depends how much I remember that day, haha.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Your handwriting’s fine, don’t worry. I’ve read worse. As for all your questions, uh… since he was a teenager, I never asked, I can’t remember the categories but he does a lot of stuff with legends, dragons, and dragon legends, they have the same themes, but he has a bunch of different shows, if that makes sense, and he travels in a little caravan with his familiar and a couple of his friends. I get being excited, it’s all good. Maybe we could have a Q&A the next time we see each other, haha. And I’m sure uncle Leo would love to meet and practice magic with you, but he’s really busy nowadays, so you might have to hold that thought for a bit. He’d have to find a gap in his schedule. You really need to introduce me to your mentor eventually, she sounds awesome. And I’m sure you’ll get a legend or two for yourself one day. I mean, nobody was born the star of one, am I right? And I wouldn’t really say my current town has more “pizazz”, but it’s definitely more tolerable than my old town, I guess. Some people were very opinionated there. Especi Yeah I took her on a quick walk through town before writing this letter, actually, and she’s feeling a lot better! Sometimes she just needs a little bit of fresh air like everybody else. I bet your roommate's paintings look great, I can’t paint to save my life, haha. Lucy’s a little nervous too about the meeting too, so I guess the feeling’s mutual. Hopefully we can all get together soon!

Sincerely, Alex

[maluminspace]

Genre: WW2/drama/angst/fluff/

Pairings: Calum Hood/Michael Clifford

Prompt: “Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since the moment we met.”

Word Count: 9k

Trigger warnings: Strong language, physical abuse, physical violence, reference to war, reference to death, references to domestic abuse, period typical racism, period typical homophobia, internalised homophobia

A/N: I have wanted to write a ww2 fic for a very long time so when the generator threw out 40s for malum I jumped on it for this event. This is just a portion of the espically long final fic I have planned. The overall piece will be posted on my AO3 account when it’s complete. I hope you all enjoy this segment enough to check it out when it’s entirely complete.

September 1940

As the train pulled into the little station, Calum let out a sigh of relief. It’d been a long journey and the train had felt too hot and stuffy. He picked up his suitcase and joined the other passengers gathering at the doors.

Once he was able to step onto the platform, Calum took a moment to compose himself. He’d spent the entire train journey trying not to think of London and his family. He already missed them all. Now that he’d arrived in Yorkshire, it was hard not to immediately identify all the differences between this sleepy rural life and the hustle and bustle of the capital city. 

Before he could fully process his new surroundings, Calum noticed his Uncle Donald standing near the doorway of the waiting room. He looked so much like Calum’s dad that it almost brought tears to the 15-year-old’s eyes. 

“Hello, Calum lad!” His uncle smiled as he weaved through the people filling the platform. “Give me that suitcase, let’s get you home and settled in.”

Calum gave a half-hearted smile. He was a little surprised by the friendly welcome. He’d only ever met his dad’s side of the family once before when he was very little. It was highly possible that they would be disapproving of Calum’s ‘exotic’ appearance but it seemed that those worries were unnecessary at least. 

Donald took the heavy case from Calum as though it weighed nothing. A moment of sympathy flashed in his eyes as he seemingly recognized his nephew’s uncertainty. “Don’t worry, lad.” He smiled gently. “You’re welcome here for as long as this war goes on.”

His words comforted Calum a bit but he still felt severely out of place. He could only hope that he’d feel more at ease as time passed. “Thank you, sir.” He managed, trying not to show just how scared he was by this sudden change. 

Donald let out a booming laugh as he clapped Calum on the shoulder. “There’ll be none of that here, boy.” He chuckled. “You can just call me Don or Uncle Don. I know we haven’t spent any real time together until now but we’re still family.”

Donald’s infectiously merry mood made Calum relax ever so slightly; he felt somewhat less nervous as he was driven through the countryside to the farm where he’d be living for the foreseeable future.

The rolling hills, quiet roads, and quaint little houses and shops were about as different to the London landscape as he could ever imagine. Despite the stark contrasts to everything Calum was familiar with, this little corner of Yorkshire seemed to have an undeniable charm of its own. 

The car ride was filled with pleasant conversation, further relaxing Calum’s nerves as he got to know his uncle a bit better. He listened to various stories about his aunt and three cousins as they drove. By the time they finally pulled up at the farm, Calum was quite excited to meet the rest of his family and acquaint himself with his new home. 

The farm and it’s surrounding green hills and fields looked like something from a postcard. Having seen nothing but London’s grey skyline and smoggy streets, the openness of his new home felt just as exciting as it did daunting.

“Calum!” His Aunt May grinned as she appeared in the doorway, her greying hair tied back in a neat bun so that it didn’t fall into her lightly lined face. “I hope your uncle didn’t bore you too much on the drive over here! He doesn’t know when to shut up, y’know.” She gave a tiny laugh, shooting Don a fond glance as she tottered down the path. 

“I wasn’t bored at all.” Calum smiled, “I liked hearing his stories. It took my mind off everything a bit.”

May gave Calum a sympathetic smile as she wrapped him in a warm hug. “It must be quite a big change, moving all the way out here. I know you’ll settle in just fine, though. Your cousins are excited to show you around once you’re all unpacked.”

Don pecked a kiss to his wife’s cheek before grabbing Calum’s suitcase and heading towards the house. 

“Come on, love,” May muttered hastily ushering Calum towards the house as well. “Let's get you settled in.”

***

After meeting his cousins; Elaine, Wendy and Matthew, Calum had joined the family for a delicious lunch before his uncle had insisted that he come out and meet some of the other people that work for them.

Elaine had accompanied them for the tour of the grounds and her father had made a passing joke about someone named Ashton, who Calum could only assume Elaine had taken a fancy to.

It was late in the afternoon when Calum finally met the elusive Ashton. He’d been out plowing a field for most of the day, according to one of the older farmhands, whose name Calum had already forgotten.

Calum’s suspicions about his eldest cousin’s attractions to this boy were confirmed by her suddenly shy demeanor as Ashton trudged towards them. It wasn’t surprising that a sixteen-year-old girl would be attracted to someone like this. He was tall with broad shoulders and a very handsome face. He turned out to be very friendly as well. Offering to show Calum around the local village now that he’d finished his work for the day.

Don approved of the suggestion, seemingly happy for Calum to become friends with one of his favourite workers. 

Whilst Ashton got cleaned up, Calum spent a little time with the farm dogs. He’d never been able to have a pet of his own back in London, so it was nice to know he’d get the experience here. Elaine stayed with him, opting to be some silent company as he tried to soak in his new surroundings.

Once Ashton was ready he led the way into the village using a shortcut across the field. “I’d like to introduce you to a couple of my best friends, if you’re up for it.” The older boy said cheerfully. “I think you’ll like them a lot. They’re a bit stupid sometimes, but you’ll get used to them!”

In the back of his mind, Calum thought that Ashton hadn’t known him for nearly long enough to know what or who he’d like, but the farmhand had a cheerful and sweet nature that it made it difficult not to trust his judgment. “Even stupid friends would be better than what I had back home.” He replied with a humourless laugh. “No one seemed to want to know me, let alone be my friend so…”

An annoyed expression crossed Ashton’s handsome face for a moment. “Well, people like that aren’t worth knowing, anyway!” He huffed. “I hope you’ll have better luck here.”

It didn’t take long to reach the village. Just like the farm, the village was picturesque. Calum was sort of bemused by how quiet and lazy it all seemed. Everywhere you turned in London, there were signs that a war was happening; posters on the walls, soldiers, wreckages left behind by bombs… Here, the only indications that World War 2 was in progress were the headlines of the newspapers on display in the shops and the ration coupons in people’s hands. 

“I bet this is all strange to you, huh?” Ashton asked as he took in the bemused expression on Calum’s face. “I’m sure it’ll feel a bit more like home later, when the spitfires take off from the airbase.”

Such a comment could easily be perceived as insensitive, but yet again Ashton’s natural charm made it impossible to think he could ever actually mean to sound that way.

As they made their way along the quiet streets, Calum noticed the odd person staring at him. It wasn’t an unfamiliar experience but it wasn’t what he needed right now. He slumped his shoulders, trying to make himself small enough that Ashton could hide him from unfriendly eyes.

Unfortunately, the older boy didn’t seem to notice that anything was happening, he was too busy droning on about the nearby airbase and the fighter planes that it was currently home to.

“Hi, Ash!” A cheerful voice echoed through the fog filling Calum’s mind. “Are you free to spend some time with me and Mike tonight or are you busy with Jane again?”

The voice belonged to a lanky blonde boy with pretty blue eyes. He wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at Ashton before turning his attention to Calum. “Oh hello! You must be Farmer Hood’s nephew. I’m Luke Hemmings, Ashton's best and most handsome friend.” 

Calum shook the newcomer’s hand, taking heart in his friendly tone and the lack of suspicion in his eyes. He introduced himself nervously, feeling the need to impress Ashton’s friends if he wants to have any chance of calling them his own friends one day.

“Come on, Michael will be finishing his shift in the shop in a minute, I suppose you should meet him really,” Luke smirked, wrapping a pale skinny arm around Calum’s shoulders. “We tried to get rid of him but he just keeps clinging on to us, doesn’t he, Ash?”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Don’t be mean, Luke!” He reprimanded. “Michael’s a hell of a lot less annoying than you most of the time.”

Calum couldn’t help but laugh at their friendly banter. He’d never had this sort of friendship with anyone and he could only hope that these boys would finally give him that chance.

The little group of boys made their way past the village green on to the main street. Luke and Ashton continued to offer friendly and fun conversation which successfully distracted Calum from any lingering glances from passersby.

“Ah, he’s already finished for the day!” Luke grinned as they neared the little grocery store. 

Calum followed Luke’s gaze to a boy standing next to the entrance to the shop. He was a little bit taller than Calum with dark blonde hair and pale skin. When he glanced up from the ground to greet his friends, Calum felt his breath catch in his throat. This had to be the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life. 

Michael smiled, waving at his friends as he pushed away from the wall and made his way over to them. “Afternoon, idiots.” He giggled, nudging Luke in the shoulder and earning himself a hair ruffle from Ashton. When his gaze met Calum's, his cheeks turned a pale pink and his eyes seemed to sparkle with some emotion that Calum couldn’t quite place. He seemed suddenly shy which judging by the confused expressions on Luke and Ashton’s faces, was pretty out of character for their friend.

“I’m Michael.” The blonde smiled bashfully, awkwardly offering him a hand to shake.

Calum shook it, trying to hide his own nerves. This was absolutely the last thing he needed right now. He was already going to find it hard to fit in here, his skin colour made sure of that. What he absolutely didn’t want, was these forbidden feelings toward another boy. He’d had them once or twice before, a little spark of attraction for a boy or man he’d pass in the street, but never like this, never to the extent where he was suddenly so aware of how hard his heart was beating that he was sure it could burst right out of his chest.

He had to find a way to control this, he wanted to be normal and fit in. Calum just wanted to make friends, he absolutely didn’t want to end up like the milkman’s son back in London. He shivered at the memory of how his whole street had gossiped about how young Tommy had been caught kissing another boy. He’d been disowned by his family after that and Calum hadn’t heard anything of him since. There’s no way he wanted to end up like that; he had to get his act together.

***

The news that Jane had broken up with Ashton and started seeing a fighter pilot from the nearby airbase, had spread quickly through the village. It made an already difficult situation even more horrid for Ashton. He couldn’t leave his house without people whispering behind their hands to each other or offering him sympathetic glances that he didn’t want.

Calum had been the one to suggest getting out of the village, riding their bikes out into the countryside and taking a little picnic. He’d asked his aunt and uncle for some spare food from the farm and a little day trip was quickly arranged.

On the chosen day, Michael, Luke and Ashton headed up to the farm to collect Calum en-route to the spot they always used to go as kids. 

When they arrived, Mrs Hood met them at the door, informing them that Calum had to help her husband mend a fence that morning, so he was running a little bit late.

She offered them some bread and cheese for their little trip and helped Ashton and Luke pack it into their bags. 

They sat at the table for a little while before Mrs. Hood suggested that one of the boys go and see if Calum’s almost ready. 

Michael volunteered, trying not to sound too eager. He’d gotten a lot of practice at that lately, although the slightly perplexed look on Calum’s aunt’s face told him that he probably needed a little more. 

He was already halfway up the stairs before he realized that he had no idea which bedroom was Calum’s. In fact, he’d never been to this floor of the farmhouse before. Most of his visits here were to meet Ashton, therefore he’d had very few reasons to enter the house at all. 

There were several doors leading off the landing, all but one of them were closed. The open door led to the bathroom; Michael could tell by the garish green wall tiles visible through the gap.

It was entirely possible that one of the Hood girls or Matthew were in their own rooms so Michael didn’t want to be a pest and knock on all of the doors. Instead, he called out Calum’s name, not too loudly but clear enough that someone in any of the rooms would hear him. 

It only took a second for the closest door to open, revealing a smiling and half-naked Calum. “Michael!” He greeted, opening his bedroom door a little wider. “Sorry I’m running a bit late, I had to help Uncle Don fix a fence out in one of the fields. Come in for a minute, I just need to grab a clean shirt.”

It took Michael a moment or two to work up the courage to follow Calum into his bedroom. It felt sort of naughty and forbidden to be alone with someone he had these feelings for. He’d never dream of acting on them of course, but it still felt like he shouldn’t be there, especially when Calum was topless, unwittingly showing Michael his muscly chest and arms. 

As strange as it felt to be alone with Calum in his room, Michael supposed that standing out on the landing would be fairly suspicious and so he finally forced his legs to move and follow Calum into the bedroom.

Even though the slightly younger boy had only inhabited this room for a few weeks, he’d already made it very much his own. Sure, the walls were still a neutral cream colour but Calum had filled them with postcards, pictures and photographs. Most of them were black and white, of course, but they still added a distinct character to the room.

To try and distract himself from looking at Calum’s body, Michael drifted over to examine a little cluster of postcards pinned up near the younger boy’s bed. They each depicted a different London landmark and Michael found himself staring at them dreamily.

“They remind me of home.” Calum said, breaking the silence as he joined Michael in looking at the postcards. “I know it’s probably quite childish to get homesick but I sort of miss London, even now when it’s so dangerous.”

“I don’t think it’s childish.” Michael reassured his friend. “I think it’s perfectly natural to miss home and your family. Especially when your home is somewhere as exciting as London!” He kept his gaze on the postcards, still not daring to look at Calum.

“When the war’s over and I move back there, you should come to visit!” Calum offered excitedly. “I’ll show you all the sights and take you to the best places to eat!”

Michael smiled as he finally forced himself to meet Calum’s gaze. “Would you take me see Buckingham Palace?” He asked, unsurprised at how shy he sounded all of a sudden. “I bet it’s so beautiful!”

Calum nodded. “Of course, what kind of tour guide would I be if I didn’t take you there?” 

Shrugging, Michael moved his gaze to a little framed photograph on Calum’s dresser. “Is that your family?” He asked, berating himself for asking such a stupid question.

Calum followed his gaze. “Yeah, it was taken a few years back. I’m the podgy kid right there.” He giggled pointing at the little boy in the picture. “That’s my older sister, Mali. She joined the WAAF last year, even though women don’t have to sign up, she wanted to do her bit.” His voice sounded a bit sad and Michael wondered what it must be like to have a sibling that you’re so close to. He’d thought about it before when Luke talked about his brothers, but Ben and Jack had always teased their younger sibling, and Michael had never quite understood their bond with Luke. Calum’s and Mali’s relationship seemed very different from the Hemmings siblings. In the few stories Calum had mentioned his sister in, he’d said her name so fondly, like he was describing his best friend.

***

As the little group of friends rode out of the village, Michael was pleased to see some of the tension slip from his eldest friend’s face. He could only hope that he’d see a smile there by the end of the day.

The further they got from the village the more relaxed Ashton became, although the weight of his troubles was clear by the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly more prominent cheekbones from where he’d lost weight from his face.

They rode their bikes for over an hour until they reached a pretty little spot near to a brook. Michael, Luke, and Ashton had come to this spot many times growing up, racing sticks under the nearby rickety bridge, and paddling in the clear water. 

It was clear by the look of wonder on Calum’s face, though, that the city boy had never really had anywhere like this to play. 

Michael couldn’t quite bring himself to look away from his new friend as they parked up their bikes next to the bridge and started to unpack the food. He had grown to like Calum very quickly. Their friendship had seemed to blossom more and more with every day they spent together.

Calum was extremely interesting; his stories about London and general city life captivated Michael for hours on end, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t just his curiosity about places he’d never visited before that made Calum appealing to him. The way that the slightly younger boy’s face would creep into his mind when he was alone in bed was enough to let Michael know that he was attracted to Calum in ways that he shouldn’t be. 

Even though he knew he’d have to find a way to get past his feelings, Michael found it incredibly difficult, especially on days like today when Calum looked so beautiful.

As Ashton and Luke laid out the picnic, Michael kicked off his shoes and gestured for Calum to do the same. “Come on, the water’s always so nice and cool!” He giggled as he stepped into the shallow brook. 

Calum smiled wistfully as he took off his own shoes and followed his friend into the water. He gasped slightly at the change in temperature and Michael giggled to hide the spark of interest that ignited in the pit of his stomach. 

“So you all come out here a lot then?” Calum asked, aiming his question primarily at Michael seeing as he was the closest. “I would have practically lived out here when I was a kid if I’d grown up here.”

Michael nodded. “We used to come out here at least once a week during the summer. Our parents used to bring us here when we were little so we’ve always known the way. It’s a popular picnic spot.”

Calum listened intently to various stories that Michael recounted of visiting this spot as a kid and he had to try not to melt every time Calum laughed or even grinned at something he said. 

Once Ashton and Luke had the picnic all set up, they shouted for the two boys to join them. 

As they all settled down together, Michael tried to concentrate on what Luke was saying about the letters his parents had received from his brothers. Having been friends with Luke for almost as long as he can remember, Michael was obviously invested in the older Hemmings’ brothers safety. Ben and Jack meant a whole lot to Luke and by extension, Michael, too. He couldn’t quite get Calum out of his brain, though. He pretended to be extremely interested in a shiny stone he’d scooped up from the brook, turning it over and over in his hands whilst he focused on the bare skin of Calum’s crossed legs, poking out from beneath his shorts. He was only a couple of months younger than Michael, which meant he wasn’t far off turning 16. Puberty was obviously being much kinder to Calum than it was to Michaael. The slightly older boy had gotten nothing but acne and a messy smattering of blonde hair over his legs, chest and under his arms, whereas Calum had experienced none of that. He was starting to get broader and stronger. Sure, the farm work he’d been doing would have helped with that but his face was getting less soft and his features were becoming more defined. It was easy for Michael to see flashes of the man Calum was destined to become and he couldn’t shake the image from his mind, no matter how hard he tried. 

“... And Jack’s still seeing that girl so mum is convinced they’ll get engaged soon.” Luke mumbled around a mouthful of bread and cheese. 

Ashton dropped his gaze miserably and Calum swatted the youngest friend across his arm for being so mindless.

It took a moment for Luke to realise what he’d done to earn such a punishment. When it hit, though, he looked truly shaken by his own stupidity. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ash… I-”

“It’s okay.” Ashton shrugged, although his deflated posture and miserable expression said otherwise. “I’m pleased for Jack, I really am.”

The other three boys exchanged a desperate look, hoping that someone could save the situation. Before any of them could come up with anything, Ashton let out a tiny laugh. “You boys are stupid as hell, all three of you.” Despite his harsh words, there was a fondness in his tone that was absolutely undeniable. He confirmed his love for friends by adding “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

November 1940

Michael’s 16th birthday had been pretty uneventful so far. 

His dad had been his usual, miserable, hungover self at breakfast, barely acknowledging his son, let alone wishing him a happy birthday. His mum had knitted him a new jumper, green to bring out the colour in his eyes. 

Mr Robertson had been particularly nice to him, offering him a longer lunch break, which he’d spent with Calum since he’d timed his delivery perfectly. That had been the highlight of his day so far, huddled in the back room of the shop eating a slice of cake that Calum’s aunt had baked. They’d made fun of Ashton still being oblivious to Elaine’s affections for him and confirmed their plan for a little celebration at Ashton’s house in the evening.

The afternoon had passed pretty quickly after that and before he knew it, Michael was heading home. He needed to pack an overnight bag since he was staying over at Ashton’s later. His mum worked as a barmaid at the village pub so the boys would have the house to themselves and they wanted to enjoy that rare freedom as fully as possible. Therefore they’d all planned to stay there for the night. 

Michael packed some of his warmest clothes and headed out, only sparing a moment to kiss his mother goodbye and scratch Sammy behind the ear before disappearing out into the chilly evening.

Ashton and Calum had convinced Farmer Hood to let them leave work a little early for the occasion, promising to make up the hour by working over for the rest of the week. Michael was incredibly grateful to them and Luke, feeling an almost overwhelming fondness for them as he jogged towards their meeting place.

Sure enough, all three boys were huddled together at the far end of the village green, waiting for him. They smiled as he approached, each of them ruffling his hair or punching his shoulder playfully as soon as he reached them. 

“Are you ready for your little birthday party?” Ashton asked cheerfully as he led the way to his house. 

Michael nodded enthusiastically drawing a chuckle from each of his friends.

“We clubbed together to get you a little something.” Luke announced, earning himself a nudge from Calum.

“It was meant to be a surprise, Luke!” He huffed irritably. “He was meant to think we hadn’t brought him anything!” In the dying light, Michael managed to hide his fond gaze from Calum beneath the wooly hat Mr Robertson had gifted to him earlier. His feelings for the slightly younger boy seemed to grow more by the day and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could conceal them successfully.

When they reached Ashton’s house, Michael kicked off his shoes and followed his friends into the little kitchen. “Mum had been cooking before she left for work so it’s quite warm in here.” Ashton said, taking a seat at the table that had already been filled with some special treats. 

“I hope you like apple pie.” Calum laughed. “My aunt insisted on making one of you.”

“Well whatever he doesn’t eat, I’ll make sure it doesn’t get wasted!” Luke giggled loudly as he slipped into the seat next to Ashton.

***

After they’d eaten, Luke, Calum and Ashton presented Michael with a little bundle of gifts which included a small bar of chocolate, socks and a shiny new bell for his bike. He couldn’t find the right words to thank them, knowing that none of them had much money and the fact that they’d spent any of it on him made his heart feel so full.

They spent a little while talking in Ashton’s kitchen until Luke suggested playing some parlour games. The youngest friend had always been terrible at charades and ‘who am I?’, so unsurprisingly the brief games descended into fits of giggles in a matter of a few minutes.

After a few failed attempts at completing a game, Calum finally declared it hopeless and curled up next to the fire instead. His lips were still curved in a pretty smile as he patted the spot next to him. Michael knew that his friend could be indicating to any of the other boys to sit next to him but the birthday boy chose to believe that the gesture was for him. 

Luke and Ashton probably didn’t even notice the way Calum’s eyes sparkled in the firelight, or the way that a muscle twitches in his jaw when he’s nervous or tense. They were all things that Michael shouldn’t be noticing either but little ‘Calum’ things like that occupied his brain more than he cared to mention.

“Okay, so I’m just gonna say it…” Luke announced as he dropped to the ground next to Michael.

The blonde’s stomach lurched as he realised he was staring at Calum. Luke had obviously noticed and now his birthday was destined to be the worst day of his life because the three most important people in the world to him were going to hate him...

“I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed, but you two are hopeless so I’m going to be the one to get it out in the open.” Luke continued, pointing an accusing finger at Michael and then Calum.

Michael’s brain wouldn’t work fast enough. He needed to shut Luke down, if he put into words, what Michael knew in his heart, it’d all be over. His brain wouldn’t work though, his mouth felt dry and no words would force themselves from his throat. 

“Elaine has been all over Ashton since forever, and it’s been long enough since Jane now.” The youngest friend shrugged, turning his attention to Ashton who seemed to have been silently bracing himself for this conversation. 

Michael felt his body relax as he let out a steady breath. He’d never felt so relieved to have the subject of Ashton’s love life brought up before. 

The eldest friend sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and furrowing his eyebrows as though he was trying to block out Luke’s words. “She’s not interested in me, Luke.” He said. “Elaine could have pretty much whoever she wants, why would she even look twice at me?”

“Because she’s been in love with you since she was a little kid.” Calum chuckled. “I’ve only been here for a few months and even I’ve picked up on that.” 

Michael was momentarily distracted by the beautiful sound of Calum’s laugh but he managed to bring his focus back to the conversation to add a simple comment. “Calum’s right, Elaine has always had eyes for you, Ash. You’re the only one that’s never noticed.”

The brunette boy slumped back, propping himself up in his panic elbows. “You’re just saying that because you think I need a girlfriend…” Ashton huffed, although his eyes had started to glaze over a little like he was daydreaming. 

Smirking knowingly, Luke nudged his friend’s shoulder. “We wouldn’t lie to you, Ashy boy.” He insisted. “You’re just wasting time by convincing yourself that she doesn’t want you. You could be using that time to woo her.” 

Michael could tell that Ashton was thinking about it carefully. He obviously thought Elaine was pretty and they’d always had a lot in common, it seemed crazy that they weren’t already an item. 

“I don’t know…” Ashton sighed, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “After Jane, I just-”

“Forget her!” Calum scoffed, reaching over to nuge Ashton’s leg. “She was never right for you and you shouldn’t let her ruin your chances with Elaine. You have a chance to be happy with someone who really likes you, Ash.” He explained, his expression and tone serious enough to pull everyone’s full attention.

 Ashton dropped his gaze, curling in on himself a bit. He seemed to get lost in his own thoughts for a long moment, during which everyone else stayed silent, giving him the time he needed to process his feelings.

Michael watched his eldest friend for a moment, but he could feel Calum’s gaze burning a hole into the side of his face. His heart seemed to beat out a hard rhythm in his chest as he summoned the courage to meet Calum’s eyes. The slightly younger boy’s expression had softened a little bit, but there was something burning deep in his eyes that Michael couldn’t ignore. It would have been impossible to explain to anyone else, but Michael just knew that the ‘something’ was a hidden meaning in the speech he’d just given to Ashton. In that moment, Michael realised that his friend’s words were not only meant to give their older friend the courage to finally ask out Elaine, but also to let Michael know that he also had the chance to be with someone who really liked him.

***

A couple of hours later, Ashton and Luke claimed the eldest friend’s bed for themselves, falling asleep almost immediately after snuggling into the warm blankets. 

Even though their evening had been filled with a lot more fun after they’d convinced Ashton to go for it with Elaine, Michael’s mind had been constantly working over Calum’s ‘hidden message’ to him. He was convinced that’s what it'd been and his head was spinning from it. 

His mind was racing too much to sleep and so he’d started a whispered rambling conversation with Calum about how he wanted to learn to make things for his loved ones for Christmas. “... I'm not really good at anything, though.” He sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to buy everyone something.”

Calum let out a quiet giggle as he snuggled further into his blankets. “I’ll settle for a promise that you’ll carry on being my friend.”

The room was pretty dark but Calum was lying close enough that Michael could make out the younger boy’s sad eyes, despite the faint smile that was still curving the corners of his lips. “Why would I ever stop being your friend?” He asked in a hushed voice, shuffling a bit closer to Calum.

Calum shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve just never really had friends like you, Luke and Ashton before.” He replied. “You're the first people who’ve ever really given me the time of day, besides my family.”

A frown creased Michael’s face as he automatically reached out to his friend under the blankets, curling his fingers gently around Calum’s lower arm. “Why on earth wouldn’t people give you their time?” He asked, genuinely confused as to how anyone couldn’t be instantly in love with Calum when they met him. “You’re one of the funniest, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. I feel like you’ve been my friend for as long as Ash and Luke have.”

A little of the worry that had been etched into Calum’s handsome features disappeared at Michael’s words and his smile looked a little more natural now. “Really?” He asked, his voice barely a while as he covered Michael’s hand with his own. “Most people just see the colour of my skin and automatically assume I’m nothing like them before running in the opposite direction.”

Two opposing but equally powerful feelings erupted inside Michael at once. Nervous but excited butterflies burst into life in his tummy at the feeling of Calum’s fingers curling around his hand, yet a searing anger burned in his chest at the thought of anyone disrespecting Calum because of the colour of his skin. “Well that’s their loss.” Michael whispered, shuffling closer to Calum so that he could pull him into a hug. “I wouldn’t change one bit of you.”

Calum let out a relieved chuckle as he nestled into the hug. Michael tried to enjoy the close physical connection without worrying too much about how he should not be feeling those butterflies in his tummy.

“You’re a good friend, Mike.” Calum whispered. His breath ghosted over Michael’s cheek as he spoke but the slightly older boy managed to control the shiver it caused. “It’s been a difficult few weeks with the bombings in London, it’s like I’m constantly worried I’ll get letter saying that my mum’s been injured or worse…”

Michael stroked Calum’s back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. He couldn’t imagine how scared his friend must be at the moment. The blitz was rumbling on, wreaking havoc in most of Britain’s major cities but London was by far bearing the worst of it. “I really hope the air strikes stop soon.” Michael uttered, not really knowing what else he could say. “You know I’m always here if you need to talk or anything.”

Tightening his hold around Michael, Calum places a kiss on the pale boy’s cheek before pulling back a little. “I know, and I appreciate it a lot.” He replied. “I’m always here for you too, Mike.”

The younger boy closed his eyes and Michael could just make out a faint smile on his lips as he whispered goodnight. Michael couldn’t help but notice that Calum didn’t remove his arm that was draped over him, it made the blonde boy melt a little, he loved being this close to Calum. He knew that he shouldn’t live it, he shouldn’t feel this excitement bubbling inside of him and his skin shouldn’t tingle whenever his newest friend made physical contact with him. Michael was sure he was getting quite good at hiding all of that but right here and now, I’m the darkness of Ashton’s bedroom, he allowed those feelings to flow freely through him. 

January 1941

The papers were saying it was the worst snowfall since 1888. Life in the village had all but ground to halt because of it. 

Calum shouldn’t have been surprised, of course. He’d been looking forward to a little birthday get together with his friends since Christmas had been sort of a write-off. Michael had been forced to stay home to play happy families with his alcoholic father whilst Luke had been carted off to visit his grandparents for the festive season. Luckily, Ashton had still been around, in fact he’d spent a fair bit of his spare time at the farm since Luke had called him out about his feelings for Elaine. Calum wasn’t complaining, he liked spending time with Ashton, even when he wasn’t the main reason for the older boy’s presence. 

Despite his increased interest in Elaine, Ashton still hadn’t actually asked her out yet and it was starting to get tedious. As much Calum enjoyed his friend staying behind after work and visiting on Sundays, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand the blatant flirting and almost confessions. If something didn’t give soon, Calum was going to have to take matters into his own hands.

Not today, though. January 25th was Calum’s day. His first birthday since moving to Yorkshire and he was determined to enjoy every second of it, even if the weather had decided to betray him.

He’d enjoyed a nice day so far, his aunt and uncle had treated him just as they did their own children on their birthdays. They’d given him a nice breakfast and some little gifts before assuring him that Don and Elaine could manage feeding all the animals on their own for one day. 

Having been given the day off, Calum spent his time preparing for the little gathering he’d planned with his friends. Wendy helped him clean the parlour whilst Mrs Hood made what party food she could from the farm’s leftovers. 

All in all, Calum couldn’t really be happier given the circumstances of his 16th birthday. He’d already received letters and gifts from both of his parents and his sister so he was in generally high spirits. 

As the time that his friends should have arrived came and went, Calum’s good mood faltered. He knew the bad weather meant that it might take them longer to get to the farm but he never once thought that it would deter them altogether.

Around an hour after his friends were due to arrive, Wendy and Elaine came into the parlour with sympathetic looks on their faces as they invited him to join them in the main sitting room. “We can play board games!” The youngest girl chimed, gripping Calum’s hand and gesturing towards the door. 

Calum tried to smile but his heart felt heavy. He’d been looking forward to tonight all week. As much as he loved the company of his family, there was nothing he enjoyed more than spending time with his friends. “That sounds nice.” He replied, forcing himself to stand up. “We should probably eat all of this food your mum made too…”

Wendy nodded excitedly grabbing a plate of the little cakes she’d helped to make earlier in the day. A tiny giggle escaped Calum as he picked up a couple more of the plates. Elaine gave his arm a sympathetic squeeze before she followed his lead and gathered up the rest of the food laying on the coffee table. 

The little group hadn’t quite made it out of the room before the doorbell rang. Calum almost dropped the plates he was holding in his newly ignited excitement.

Elaine laughed as she placed the food she’d been holding back on the table before heading off to answer the door. Calum did the same, following his cousin like an excited puppy. 

When he reached the hallway, his heart felt suddenly ten times happier as his eyes landed in a very windswept and cold looking Michael.

“You made it!” Calum exclaimed. “I was worried you’d all forgotten or something.”

Michael gave his friend an apologetic smile as he shuffled out of his coat and pulled off his gloves, scarf and hat before hanging them up on the hooks near the front door. “We’d never forget your birthday!” He assured Calum. “I’m sorry it’s only me that was able to make it here, though.” His green eyes looked suddenly very sad and Calum had an overwhelming urge to do whatever it might take to make them shine happily again. “Ashton’s grandparents arrived for impromptu visit and Luke’s come down with a really bad cold so…”

“That’s okay!” Calum cut in. Even though he was disappointed by Ashton’s and Luke’s absence, having Michael there on his birthday meant the most to him. He’d developed a deep bond with the blonde boy in the few short months since he’d moved to the farm. They shared a lot of the same interests and since their little heart-to-heart on Michael’s birthday, their friendship had only blossomed further. “We have food in the parlour and aunt May lit the fire in there for us too!”

Michael’s smile became softer and more genuine as he followed Calum to the parlour. “Ash and Luke are really sorry they couldn’t make it, they’ve sent presents and told me to wish you a happy birthday from them.”

“Ah they didn’t have to do any of that!” Calum insisted, closing the parlour door before gesturing for Michael to take a seat. 

The blonde dropped into one of the cushioned chairs before holding out a little paper bag that Calum hadn’t even noticed his friend had been carrying. 

“I’ll look at them later.” Calum said, setting the bag down near the coffee table, “let’s eat first! I’m starving!”

Michael giggled, his emerald eyes sparkling prettily as he nodded. “Me too! It took me so much longer to walk here through all of that snow!”

Calum patted his friend’s arm affectionately before handing him a sandwich. “Here eat this!”

Accepting the sandwich gratefully, Michael took a bite. “Your aunt makes the best sandwiches.” He mumbled as soon as he swallowed.

Calum couldn’t really disagree with that. Then again, he didn’t often disagree with anything Michael said or did.

***

After a couple of hours of fun conversation with Michael, Calum’s disappointment at only having one friend turn up to his birthday party had long since fizzled away. 

Michael was like a ball of sunshine. He just radiated love and happiness, two things that Calum was quickly becoming addicted to. He found himself staring at the blonde boy dreamily as Michael rattled on about gossip he’d heard in the shop. “...And apparently Mr Greenwell won’t even talk to her now, so that must make things very difficult seeing as they live right next door to each other!”

The way that Michael’s eyes gleamed excitedly at the idle gossip, made Calum’s heart melt. If Michael was a girl, he’s sure he’d have kissed her by now. The fleeting notion brought butterflies to Calum’s tummy as his gaze drifted to Michael’s lips. If he was entirely honest with himself, he wanted to kiss Michael right now. He didn’t care if they were both boys. Why should such a silly detail like that stop Calum from following his heart.

“I’m sorry.” Michael giggled, blushing a little as he realised he’d been talking for over ten minutes, barely pausing for a breath. “You probably don’t care about stupid village gossip…”

“Of course I do!” Calum lied. He’d never been good at lying but if a tiny fib would save Michael any embarrassment, Calum would definitely do it. “Living out here in the farm, I don’t get to hear much about what’s going on in the village. I rely on you to keep me up to date!”

Michael smiled at the compliment before shuffling a little closer to Calum. The two of them were sitting cross legged by the fire, forgoing the comfort of the armchairs in order to be as warm as possible. At least that’s the reason Calum would admit to himself. Secretly, he thought that the tiny contact of Michael’s knee brushing against his own was well worth the pins and needles in his feet and lower legs.

“Well now that your village news bulletin is over, can I give you your birthday present from me?” Michael asked, his tone suddenly adopting a shyness that only Calum alone seemed to be privy to.

The slightly younger boy nodded trying not to let the forbidden thoughts about what he’d really like his present from Michael to be. 

The blonde reached past Calum to grab the paper bag that was still sitting next to the armchair where he’d left it earlier. As Michael rummaged around to find the present that was for him, Calum automatically placed a hand on his friend’s back and immediately regretted it when he had to try and ignore the tiny tremor that ran through Michael before he looked back, meeting Calum’s gaze with slightly startled eyes.

Not being able to bring himself to apologise, Calum simply removed his hand and asked “did you find it?” 

Michael hummed his confirmation but the blush in his cheeks told Calum that he was still thinking about that fleeting touch. If he was being entirely honest with himself, Calum couldn’t shake off the fuzzy feeling it had given him either.

“So…” Michael said, finally sitting back next to Calum, a little closer than he was before, but still not quite as close as the younger boy would have liked. “I wish I could have made something for you but I’m terrible at everything so I got you these instead.” He pulled out a tiny paper bag, that bashful, slightly scared look back on his pretty face. 

Calum knew as soon as he took the bag from Michael what was inside it and the thought almost brought a tear to his eye. “Cola cubes?” He asked in a shocked whisper. 

Nodding sort of proudly, Michael gestured for his friend to open the bag. “I know they’re your favourites.” He clarified, fiddling sort of nervously with a strand of his hair. 

Calum opened the bag and licked his lips as the familiar but increasingly rare, sugary smell hit him. Despite his almost overwhelming urge to take one of the sweets, he immediately closed the bag and held it out to Michael. “I can’t accept these…” He said quietly, “you must have used your sweets rations for the week on them.” 

Michael’s face took on a hurt expression as he shrugged. “Yeah but they were worth it…” he admitted in a reserved tone. “I’d rather have spent the rations on cola cubes for you than anything for myself.” 

The sincerity in Michael’s voice turned Calum’s insides into jelly. He really wasn't sure how much longer he could resist doing something he knew he should never do. “You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met you know.” He said, a tiny giggle punctuating his sentence. 

The light blush in Michael’s cheeks deepened and he rapidly buried his face in Calum’s shoulder like a shy child. “I just like doing nice things for my friends.” He mumbled, although Calum was too busy fighting the urge to kiss the top of the blonde’s head to take too much notice of what he was saying. “Especially you.” Michael added, chancing a glance at Calum through his lashes. 

Calum was fighting his urges with every ounce of strength he had as he forced a smile and gently backed away so that he could stand up. “At least let me share them with you.” He insisted, offering Michael a hand to help him to his feet. “Let’s eat them in my room because I actually have a gift for you as well.”

Michael looked shocked but followed Calum out into the hallway and up the stairs. They remained silent but their smiles never faltered until Calum’s bedroom door was closed and his little room was filled with soft lamplight. Only then did a tension settle over the two of them, it felt suddenly romantic as Michael perched on the edge of Calum’s bed, glancing up at him expectantly but with a slight fear lurking the depths of his emerald eyes. Perhaps Calum was the only other person in the world who could understand that mixture of emotions in that moment because he couldn’t think of any other way to describe his own feelings. 

There was definitely a nervous anticipation surrounding them as Calum tried to decide whether his gift to Michael was a little too on the romantic side. He couldn’t really back out of it now though, not when Michael was eagerly awaiting a gift. 

Trying to shake off his nerves, Calum crosses the room to where he’d hidden the gift behind his lamp. “I wanted to give you this on your birthday, but I never really got a chance and then we didn’t see each other much over Christmas so…”

“It’s okay Calum.” Michael smiled softly. “I know I’ll love it, whatever it is!” He looked so soft in the dim light that Calum almost forgot what he was doing. “Besides, it’s always nice to get gifts when it’s not even a special occasion!”

Calum couldn’t really argue with that and so he picked up the little postcard that he had stashed behind his lamp a couple of months ago and took a deep breath. “I know that this caught your eye the first time you saw my postcards and so I wanted you to have it.” 

All of the fear and nerves vanished from Michael’s face as he took the post card and stared down delightedly at the picture of Buckingham Palace. “Calum!” He gasped, as the younger boy sat down beside him.. “You don't have to give me this…”

“I want to.” Calum replied with a slight giggle. “You seemed to really like it and I wrote you a little message on the back.” He gently slid the postcard from Michael’s grip, trying not to pay attention to the way his fingers tingled when they brushed against Michael’s. He turned the card over to display his neat handwriting. 

It’s a date. C x

Michael read the incredibly short message out loud before tilting his head to meet Calum’s gaze. “Cal… this is…”

Calum couldn’t quite read Michael’s tone. He could be choked up because he thought it was a thoughtful gift but he could just as easily be trying to Calum that this was perhaps a step beyond friendship that he didn’t want to take. “It’s too sappy isn’t it?” He asked, trying not to sound too hurt or disappointed. “I shouldn’t have wrote that message, especially not with a kiss on the end it’s too…”

“It’s perfect.” Michael interjected, his tone quiet but incredibly certain as he leaned a touch closer to Calum. “I'm really excited for our London date after the war is over.” He smiled, although it faded from his face as his gaze dropped to land on Calum’s lips. “And the kiss is a cute touch…”

Michael’s face seemed to drift impossibly closer to Calum’s and their lips were almost touching before either of them registered what was happening. When reality hit, Michael paused, seemingly frozen in fear, or perhaps giving Calum the time to back up if he wanted to. 

After a short moment, the feeling of Michael’s breath ghosting over his lips spurred Calum into action. It was clear that Michael wanted the same thing he did but he was too scared to go through with it. Calum would have to make the move. He placed his trembling hand on Michael’s cheek and stroked over his pale skin with the pad of his thumb. “Michael.” He whispered. “Kissing you is I’ve thought about since the moment we met.”

The blonde nodded before melting into Calum’s touch as his eyes drifted closed and Calum finally closed the gap between his own lips and Michael’s. 

The kiss was absolutely everything Calum had ever imagined it to be. Michael felt soft and pliant against him and their lips moved in perfect synchronisation. There was no way of telling how long it lasted but Calum was panting for air by the time they broke apart. 

Michael’s cheeks were so flushed as he pulled away, his eyes sparkling with some emotion that Calum couldn’t quite identify. It was definitely a positive one though. “I’ve wanted that since you first moved here, too.” Michael admitted. “I know it’s wrong but…”

Calum shook his head. His heart was still racing from one of the best moments of his whole life and he didn’t want to ruin it by talking about the very reason he hadn’t made it happen sooner. “I don’t care about that.” He said quietly. “I don’t know how anything that can feel this amazing could be wrong.” 

Michael giggled and shuffled closer to curl into Calum’s side. “You’re right.” He agreed, resting his head on Calum’s shoulder. “Do you fancy doing it again?”

Calum chuckled before placing a kiss into Michael’s hair. “Definitely, but i need to catch my breath first.” He replied, stroking Micheal's arm gently over the sleeve of his thick jumper. “Besides, I love holding you like this.”

In way of a silent agreement, Michael nestled further into Calum’s hold. “Good because I could happily stay like this forever.”

Malum masterlist

Collab masterlist

Main masterlist

[scapegrace74-blog]

Saorsa, Chapter 28

A/N  Here is the next installment of Saorsa.  I’m not sure how I feel about this chapter.  I knew I wanted them handfast, couldn’t work it into the modern marriage ceremony (which we don’t see anyway), but wanted there to be some acknowledgement of their deepening relationship.  In the series, that happens because Claire doesn’t go through the Stones.   This is my equivalent.

Rather than link to all previously posted chapters, I’ll just direct those of you wanting to catch up on your Saorsa-reading to my AO3 page, where the fic is posted in its entirety.

Thank you to each of you liking and reblogging!  It does my little fanfic writer’s heart good.

She wasn’t a demonstrative person by nature.  The circumstances of Claire’s childhood had seen to that.   Practical, pragmatic, emotionally cautious: the nomadic life of an orphan following her scholarly uncle about the globe had shaped her for an adulthood of no-nonsense behaviour.

Which didn’t explain why she was swallowing back tears the Monday evening after Easter.  She sat on their bed watching Jamie pack a simple change of clothes and slip a few spare coins in a hidden slit inside his tall leather riding boots.   She could blame her pregnancy, but it had been many months since her last hormonal outburst.   In truth, she was afraid for Jamie.  He was undertaking a difficult twentieth-century journey with only his eighteenth-century wits to guide him.   She was going to miss him horribly.  A nagging premonition gnawed at her, that he would leave and never come back.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach,” he said, noticing her discomposure.  “I may be new tae these times, but I ken a thing or twa about keeping safe on a long journey.  An’ Rupert will watch o’er me, leastaways as far as Edin’bra.”

“I know that, Jamie.  I just…”   She broke off, hands unconsciously cradling her swollen belly, as though comforting the child within her was the best she could hope for.

“What is it, mo chridhe?  Are ye worrit about the bairn coming early?”

“No.  Not really.  First babies are often born late.  I’m worried about…” she broke off, at a loss to articulate the swirling mix of emotions she was feeling.

Jamie must have intuited her ambivalent state of mind, for he settled next to her and enveloped her hands in his.

Still new to the art of husbanding, he had learned that the best way to induce Claire to talk was to offer her silence to fill.  He therefore sat quietly, tangling and untangling their fingers.

“I can’t help but feel…” she began hesitantly, “that once you leave Lallybroch you’ll… oh, I feel stupid saying it…”

“Out wi’ it, Sassenach.  If it’s causin’ ye tae fret sae badly that ye didna remind me tae pack spare socks, then it needs to be given voice, aye?”

She grinned ruefully, then tried to collect her scattered thoughts.

“I know you chose to stay here, in this time, rather than return to your own.  Given what you know about the aftermath of Culloden, it was a reasonable choice.  But Jamie…” He could see how dearly this was costing her.   A furrow of worry bisected her brow, and her molten eyes looked haunted.  “Jamie, you’re a Highland warrior, and I can’t help but feel that I’ve turned you into some kind of glorified field hand and future babysitter.  And that once you leave Lallybroch, you’ll not want to return.”

Having blurted out her fears, Claire’s gaze sheered away from her husband, focusing instead on the patterned wall coverings.

“Claire…” he breathed, stunned by her revelation.   “Sassenach, look at me, will ye?”

Their eyes met, and the look he was giving her was so pained that she blinked in shock.

“Have I given ye reason to doubt my commitment to ye and yer bairn?”

“No,” she answered plainly.

“And was it no’ me who asked ye, ripe wi’ another man’s child, to be marrit?” he continued.

“Yes, it was.”

“It’s true that I’m a Highlander, Sassenach, an’ a proud one a’ that.  But I was a warrior by necessity, no’ by desire.  I fought because to do ought would ha’ been craven, an’ my Da didna raise me tae be a coward.  Twas the only way I kent tae protect my family, my clan.   Now ye and this bairn are my family, an’ those who serve Lallybroch are my clan.  I may no’ ken much about yer science an’ industry, but I can provide for my own, an’ tis my great honour tae do so.  And if so doin’, I help ye raise a braw wee Scot tae be laird or lady of this home of my heart, weel, I will one day die knowin’ I was a credit tae the Fraser name.  In my time, I would be ded, or just as well.  Here, I can do wha’ I was born tae.  Now I ask ye, why would I turn from that?  Why would I turn from ye?”

It was the most he’d ever spoken about matters neither practical nor routine, and she took the words inside her heart where they lit a spark in the tinder of her newborn love.

“It does pain me, though, that ye feel I asked ye tae be my bride merely because it was prudent.  I havna done my duty as yer husband, if ye dinna ken…”

Jamie stood abruptly and held out his hand.  She grasped it gratefully to leverage herself from the bed.

“Follow me, Sassenach.  It’s high time tae address my neglect.”

***

Murtagh looked mildly perturbed to have his evening’s routine interrupted, but scarcely more so than usual.  A few murmured words in Gaelic from Jamie and he grunted in surprise, appraising Claire’s hastily donned overcoat and pale blotchy skin.

Claire was surprised to find the small croft next to the stables comfortably appointed, its solid wooden furniture decorated with heavy woolen throws and the occasional cushion.    An ornate picture frame adorned the mantlepiece, displaying a dour couple posed stiffly in outmoded wedding clothes.

Disappearing through a darkened doorway into the croft’s only other room, Murtagh returned carrying several objects: a long strip of frayed tartan, a two-handled tarnished silver cup, and a short dagger in its sheath.  Murtagh placed the items on a low table and exchanged a significant look with Jamie before returning to the adjacent room.

“Claire,” he began, and she could sense the air in the room shift with his pronouncement of her Christian name, muted but sure.  “I ken that you and I, weel, we’re still new.  But the lady I’ve come to know, she’s… weel, she’s all that I could e’er want in a wife.  Canty.  Brave.  Strong and fierce tae make me heed, but soft and gracious and sae, sae beautiful, she can make the sun shine on a cloudy day.  I could travel through the stones across the ages, and no’ find a better companion fer my heart.  So I’m asking ye, Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, will ye do me the ‘onour of becoming my wife?  No’ because ye’er wi’ child.  No’ because ye need me tae drove yer sheep or mend yer fences or tend yer hearth.  I want to be marrit’ to ye because ye’er the only future I wish tae know.”

He was balancing both her hands on his open palms.  She fixated on their size; broad and calloused, yet always gentle with her.  She smiled and felt him take a deep inward breath.

“Jamie… I… that… but we’re already married!” she blurted.

“Aye.  The church ‘as blessed us, and a good thing too.  I feared I would be goin’ tae ‘ell fer all the lustful thoughts I had of ye, bonnie wee thing that ye are.  Tis a relief tae be back in God’s good graces.”

His impudent smirk released the tension from the room.

“Very funny,” she retorted.  “But seriously, Jamie, why are we here?  And what is all this…” she gestured towards the table.

“Have ye ne’er heard of handfasting, my Sassenach lass?  Tis the proper Scottish way tae be marrit’.  When ye’er bound together in the auld way, they say nought can come between ye for a year an’ one day.  Sae I’ll ask ye again, Claire, will ye accept tae be my wife?”

“Of course, you ridiculous man.  Why else would I be standing in Murtagh’s croft in the dead of night, wearing nothing but an overcoat atop my nightgown and slippers?  I swear, James Fraser…”

Any further chastisement was halted by his sudden, emphatic kiss.  She nearly lost herself in his mouth before she remembered Murtagh was only a few feet away, waiting for them to finish their quiet conversation.  Jamie called him back to the room with a shrill whistle.

Standing before the fire, Murtagh first unsheathed the dagger and drew it roughly across Jamie’s outstretched palm.   Claire flinched, but only a few scarlet beads of blood rose from the shallow cut.  Understanding what was coming next, she extended her right hand and received a matching slash.  Jamie then pressed their bleeding palms together.  Murtagh quickly enveloped them in several loops of the tartan sash.

“Is that…?” she asked in wonder.

“Aye, tis a wee strip of my plaid.  Murtagh saved me a piece a’fore ye burned the rest, ye heathen,” he joked, calm now that the ceremony was underway and she hadn’t laughed in his face.

“What now?” Claire asked, feeling the slippery warmth of their co-mingled blood against the fine skin of her wrist.

“We repeat our vows.  I ken ye dinna understand the Gàidhlig, but would ye consider sayin’ the Fraser oaths?  I could translate them for ye and…”

“Jamie,” she interjected.  “Of course I want to use your family’s vows.  I am a Fraser, after all,” she asserted proudly.

Slowly, using only their free hands, Claire and Jamie each grabbed an end of cloth.  Staring at his mouth to capture the nuance of the unfamiliar sounds, Claire slowly repeated after Jamie:

‘S tu smior de mo  chnàimh , na mo chuislean ‘s tu ‘n  fhuil

Bheir mi dhut-sa mo chorp, gum  bith ‘n  dithis mar  aon

Bheir mi dhut-sa  slàn m’  anam , gus an  crìochnaich ar  saoghal

With each phrase, they clumsily tied a knot above their pressed hands, until the room was silent and their hearts were full.  Unsentimental to the last, Murtagh quickly unbound their hands and wiped the blade of his dirk on the plaid.

Jamie opened a nearby cupboard with apparent familiarity and withdrew a half-empty bottle of whiskey, pouring a generous amount in the double-handled cup. Murtagh growled something unintelligible in Gaelic.

“Tis my wedding day, ye auld coot.  Dinna be parsimonious,” Jamie replied easily.

“Tis yer handfasting day, ye muckle-sized eejit, an’ tha’s my only bottle,” Murtagh retorted with no malice.

Claire grinned at their easy banter, happy that Jamie had made a friend in the older man.  Besides her, Murtagh was the only person to know Jamie’s secret.

“Here, Sassenach.  A’fore Murtagh here drinks it himself.”

Grasping the offered cup, which Jamie informed her was called a quaich, in both hands, she took a hasty sip while looking at him over the bowl.  His blue eyes danced in merry amusement.   Receiving the quaich, Jamie finished the amber liquid, watching her all the while.   Something crackled between them, and both could feel the buzz of it in their veins, stronger than any liquor.

“Weel,” Murtagh interrupted, “if tis all the same wi’ you, I’ll be goin’ tae bed.  There’s sheep that require dipping t’morrow.   Godspeed tae ye, lad.  Dinna forget what I told ye about the roads beyond Edin’bra.”

With a polite goodnight to Claire, Murtagh fled to the other room.

“Well,” Claire began.

“Aye.”

At this rate they’d still be standing in the croft’s living area when Murtagh rose at dawn, staring at one another.

“What did you have me say, exactly?” she asked.

“You are the marrow in my bones and the blood in my veins.

I shall give you my body, that we two might be one.

I shall give you my whole soul, until our lives shall be done.”

“Until our lives shall be done?” she asked in a timorous voice.

“Aye, Sassenach.  Ye’er stuck wi’ me,” he tried to jest while they slowly made their way across the courtyard and up the stairs of the main house, leading each other through the dark towards home.

“It’s a good thing I love you then,” she confessed.

“And I you, mo nighean donn.  Come.  Let me show ye how much.”