#I honestly thought about not continuing bc I don’t wanna read subs but I continued in Chinese and I’m hooked now

[kastukj]

Started watching tgcf bc im in a tv mood lately and oh my gosh,,, i completely understand now

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[mirrorforevers]

graham/reader • and i love him

hmmmmmm so

i wrote a lil smutty n angsty gra/fem!reader fic set in the late 90s and im kinda proud of it ‼️

👉🏼 👈🏼 

this is my first work for the blur fandom and im Nervous bc i haven’t been writing for a while and english is not my first language but hope u guys enjoy it anyway - if you enjoy it enough i’ll post it on ao3 too, aight? also this hasn’t been beta’ed by anyone so yeah. also feel free to send me a message if u want to beta it in case you wanna see it there. aaaaaaaaa

tw: alcoholism

You haven't been sleeping very well these days.

Any noise, no matter how insignificant, would wake you up. When there weren't noises, there were nightmares that you were losing him - those were the worst nights. Many times you woke up crying because everything was so real, and you couldn't have peace even in your moment of rest.

Sometimes it was difficult to love him.

The memories of the long lazy days you spent watching TV, painting each other's backs and tasting all sorts of bizarre treats he brought from the different countries he travelled to with his band were gradually replaced by memories of corrosive words exchanged between the two of you and moments where either you or he ended up crying in each other's arms - out of shame, out of despair, out of frustration. But that didn't mean that you were loving him any less, just that your individual tribulations sometimes got too heavy even to share.

You knew he was going through a very difficult time, but he didn't open up to you very much about it and it frustrated you on a level that you could barely describe. Being in a serious relationship was something so new to you, and it helped you so much in your bad times, and you just couldn't understand why he didn't trust you like you trusted him. "It's not that I don't trust you, you're the most important person in the world to me," he'd typically say. "It's such a terrible feeling, and I just want it to go away. I don't even like to talk about it."

This is the same thing he says to you with teary eyes as the hot water in the shower wets your skin and his. For the third time that week, you had to help him, without even having the opportunity to take your own clothes off, to take off his clothes that smelled unbearably of alcohol and sweat and to take a shower. You no longer had the strength to argue or lecture him, and your silence of resignation somehow seemed to hurt him even more. He tried to bring up other subjects and remind you of good things, and your throat seemed to close more and more. Before your eyes could also fill with tears, you just left a small, shaky "Gra, please... let's just get this over with." escape from your lips. He got the message, maybe. And he agreed to have his hair washed in silence.

After you help him dry off and choose clean underwear, sleep got the best of him and then it was your turn to take a shower and try to sleep. You swore he was asleep a long time ago, when, just before you fell asleep, you heard an almost whispered, fragile "I love you" coming from the other side of the bed. It somehow hurt you more than it should - it's been so long since you've wanted to hear it from the man you truly know - a sober Graham, a little unsure of himself but a guy with such a full and gentle heart. You knew that his problem with drinking was not just the search for overcoming that insecurity, but a constant attempt to escape from the reality that, years before, he thought he wanted to be part of. And as for that, there was not much for you to do. But you still missed it so much in another context, in what now seems to be an eternity ago.

By some miracle, you did not wake up in the middle of the night due to some noise caused by Graham or due to some nightmare, but only in the morning thanks to the sunlight illuminating your face. But Graham was no longer on your side, and you closed your eyes, sighing. Another long day without him among thousands of rehearsals and concerts and meetings and photoshoots he had to attend, which anticipated yet another long night of ill-resolved fights.

"I'm terribly sorry for fucking up again." And then you opened your eyes. There he was, now with a shirt over the underwear you chose for him, his voice as low as ever. Without his glasses.

Finally, the Graham you knew. Your eyes light up and you move to get up from the comfortable bed you shared when he interrupts you. "No, stay right there."

"I've been missing you." You say with an almost whiny voice, a faint but genuine smile taking over your expressions. "Don't you have *anything* to do today?" You ask, as he pulls out a camera to photograph you in your current position - messy hair, while wearing only his t-shirt. You don't hide from the clicks. After being satisfied with the result, he positions himself between your legs, and you spend a few minutes in silence in that position, face to face, just reading each other's expressions so closely.

It was very difficult not to love the beautiful boy in front of you.

"I do." And with that, he places a very soft and loving kiss on your lips, which slowly incorporates the latent desire burning on both of you. It's so good not to taste the alcohol, just the mouthwash with the touch of a cigarette that he just smoked. He only stops after a few more long pecks, calmly brushing away some of the strands of hair off your face, "I'm sorry for being such a cunt. Things are being very difficult for me lately."

You look away from him so you don't cry. This subject really breaks your heart. "Things are very difficult for me too."

He calmly brings your face up to look at him again. "They don't have to be. I don't want to make you go through this. I swear I will try to get help."

This is not the first time he has said this. But you pretend to believe him. And this time, you start the kiss, a little more fervently than before. Perhaps this is a silent agreement between you two. You feel something slowly grow beneath you, and you move against the feeling, making you both gasp softly in the middle of the kiss. The lips part, and then he looks into your eyes deeply again, both foreheads touching - as he silently asks you for permission to make it up to you. You just nod between heavy shared breaths. He goes to kiss you intensely, albeit very lovingly, while slowly lowering his hand to your clit, where he begins a slow circular movement. You close your eyes, and he pleads, quietly – “Keep looking at me, love”.

Gradually, you start to grind harder against his talented fingers, and when he realizes that your body is prepared enough (and quickly expresses it to you - "fuck, you really missed me", making your cheeks burn), he inserts two fingers into you, while insisting on the circular movements that delighted you so much. You're having goosebumps and you slowly feel that delicious wave of heat build up in you as he continues with his movements. You surprise him by kissing his neck slowly between timid but sincere moans that gradually escape from you. His voice trembles with arousal. "This is all about you, love. But that's quite nice." When he feels your body stiffen, and hears your moans become more urgent, he stops his movements and gives you a kiss on the cheek that borders on mockery, giving a small laugh with your grunt of protest. He mutters a small "Be patient baby, please. Come on my mouth instead.". Graham's hoarse voice in your ear almost kills you. He raises the hand that was stimulating you in an absurd way seconds before to lift and remove your shirt, basking in the sight of your breasts - hands sliding down your sides, he lifts your chest to his mouth, which makes you happy but it does not meet 100% of your needs. He knows that. And he wants to take his sweet time while his talented tongue takes turns between each of your breasts for a while, eliciting smaller moans from you but still giving you so much pleasure.

Honestly, what a view. His big brown eyes, when not closed due to his determination and focus on making you feel good, sometimes fixes on yours and the cloud of attraction between you two almost becomes tangible. Then, he quickly lifts up to give your mouth a sensuous kiss while his hand then makes its way down your body, taking a detour at your already sensible breasts to grab one and give it a slow squeeze. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you." His pure adoration for you drips from his voice, and you feel like you're about to burst from how much in love and horny you are.

"I love you too."

He gives you that goddamn smile that melts you every time before he lowers himself again, this time placing his head between your thighs while snaking his arms above them, trapping you in what is about to be a hell of a great time. He begins on an exploratory pace, then gradually starts eating you out with passion, though not forgetting to be gentle enough so he doesn't hurt you or seems inexperienced. That he *really* isn't.

He moans deliciously on your clit the moment your grip on his hair tightens - he loves it when you're rougher with him, a sub at heart, really, though he's undoubtedly getting better at dealing with your more submissive side lately. Your body is reacting in the prettiest ways, and he recognizes it's the time for his fingers to be inside of you again. You have to contain yourself not to wake up your neighbors with the sound of your excitement, and you bite your finger. You can't help but buck your hips in response to the stimulation. “Gra–God. I--I need to--”

“Keep still, darling. I know what you need,” His eyes are gleaming with mischief when one of his hands moves to rest on your waist so he can hold you in place. It's too much, and when he hears your quiet pleas and sees your back arching and the frozen expression of pure pleasure in your face, he intensifies his movements and you freeze - your legs twitch and he lets you ride your orgasm freely on his gorgeous, hungry mouth.

You looked down to see his chin was resting on your stomach as he gazed up at you with *that* infatuated look that suited him so well along with the cheekiest smile - he keeps his thoughts to himself before his suggestion makes your satisfied smile grow even wider: "Let's spend the day together. I still feel like I owe a lot to you.".

[lemonpeter]

STARKER, by Peter B. Parker

Chapter 9: Hurt/Comfort

A/N: we started joking that we should call this chapter ‘hurt/ no comfort’, bc it turns out that neither of us actually know how to write comfort :) the things that happen in this chapter will make more sense soon, we promise. but for now, we’d love to hear what you guys are thinking!

thanks so much for reading! (and thanks for being understanding about this chapter being late; we’ve both been really busy, and sometimes brains just don’t cooperate <3) - Bloo and Bri 💕

Warnings: subdrop, traits of borderline personality disorder (ie splitting), g*nshot wound, discussions of wounds and wound care, angst

Masterlist ao3

————

A choked off whine slipped from Peter’s lips as his eyes flew open. He screwed up his face, expression twisting into something pained. His chest somehow felt tight and hollow all at once, making him conscious of every single breath he took.

Sitting there, tucked up in the gym mats, he tried to clear his head, rid it of the unsettling fog, but found that he couldn’t. And his body...it felt like it wasn’t his. He felt trapped in his skin, like it was closing in on him.

The sudden low that he was experiencing was strong enough that it had pulled him out of the illusion entirely, his body trembling.

He tried to focus on what was around him, but it was hard when he felt so disconnected. He could feel cold globs of cum drying against his skin and causing his boxers to stick to him uncomfortably, his cock spent and sensitive as a few tears trickled down his cheeks. Wiping one away, he stared blankly at the wetness on the back of his hand.

What the fuck was going on? He hadn’t even realized that he was crying.

Everything felt wrong. His brain still felt floaty from his headspace, but it wasn’t in a good way anymore. He felt disconnected, floating without a tether to ground himself with. Gone was the happy and content feeling from before. This kind of floating... It was terrifying, and all he wanted was to feel real again.

But he couldn’t seem to quite get there.

His breaths became shorter as he started panicking, frantically trying to grab at the floor beneath him. But there wasn’t a surface to hold onto, just smooth, cold rubber. It didn’t help rid him of his distress in any way.

He knew that what he needed was Tony. But Tony wasn’t there.

Peter had heard of sub-drop, but he’d never felt it firsthand before. Obviously.

And even going into the scene, he hadn’t thought it was something he needed to worry about. It surely hadn’t crossed his mind while everything was taking place. Tony was gentle, perfect and sweet to him, even as he pushed his limits. Drops only happened to people with uncaring doms, right? And...it wasn’t like any of that had actually happened, so surely there was no reason for him to experience any after effects?

Wrong.

Peter was left alone to fall, just waiting until he finally felt connected to his own body again. Being grounded again took what felt like forever. But at least it happened eventually.

He felt sick. His skin was crawling and it all felt wrong. Like he had been taken apart and then put back together again, but the pieces had been jammed together, put back incorrectly. Puzzle pieces forced to fit.

All he wanted was to be held, to feel safe and protected. But there was no one there to hold him.

He was alone. He was always alone.

When he realized that, he truly started to cry in earnest. His eyes stung as more tears built up and spilled, falling in quick succession when he squeezed his eyes shut. A sob shook his frame and he pulled his knees up to his chest before wrapping his arms around them in an attempt to make himself as small as possible.

He was convinced that he’d never felt as empty as he did in that moment. Any pain from before was forgotten, incomparable to the sadness that was suddenly overwhelming him.

Tony left him alone.

Again.

Peter knew that it was too good to be true. He knew that he would never really have Tony, that Tony couldn’t protect him. Not in the way that he needed to be protected. He was stupid to think that he would be allowed to have something good, even in his own mind.

He never got to keep the good things.

But despite how much he was hurting, and the fact that he could feel the whole thing falling apart right beneath his fingers, he knew that his life with Tony was the only thing keeping him together. It was the only good thing he had left, the only chance he had at feeling even the most fleeting moments of happiness.

He had nothing without Tony, he knew that.

So, wiping the tears from his face, Peter sniffled, reaching for the glasses. He bit his bottom lip to stop it trembling and took a shaky breath.

He needed comfort from Tony, and if he had to get it himself, then that’s what he would do.

Because he was in control.

***

Pausing in the doorway of their bedroom, Peter took a moment to simply look at his husband.

Tony was stretched out on the bed, leaning back on what was an absolutely absurd amount of pillows and fiddling with some sort of schematic hologram that was being projected from the tablet in his lap. His hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions, and there was a wrinkle between his eyebrows. His eyes were narrowed slightly, one of his hands was cupping his chin.

Peter recognized it as his concentrating face. He’d always found the expression ridiculously endearing, and now was no exception. He could feel some of the resentment he’d been harboring begin to melt away.

The engineer didn’t seem to notice the younger man’s presence, continuing to manipulate the projection, fingers splaying out in various gestures as he tried to work out the problem.

Peter cleared his throat softly and shot a gentle smile in Tony’s direction when he finally looked up. “Um. Hi, Tony.” The fingers on his right hand fidgeted with his wedding band.

“Hey baby,” Tony sighed, giving Peter his own tired grin. His eyes flickered down to the younger’s hands, then back up to his face. “What’s up?” He began to close out of whatever he was working on, eyes shifting between the holograms he was moving and Peter’s face as he waited for him to respond.

Cocking his head to the side, the brunette slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I, uh, was thinking maybe we could go for a walk?” It came out like a question, even though he had intended for it to be more of a statement. “Wanna get out of the house for a bit, get some fresh air. Wha’d’you think?”

“I think that sounds great, Pete. I could use a break from this anyway,” Tony said, finishing up. He took a minute to roll his shoulders, groaning as he did. “God, I’m getting old,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed himself up off the mattress so that he could walk over to his partner. When he reached Peter, he leaned against him for a moment, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Let me grab some sunglasses and shoes and I’ll meet you by the elevator, okay?”

Once they were down on the street in front of the tower, Tony had suggested that they walk a few blocks to the park, maybe grab something to eat on the way back home. When Peter had agreed, they set off down the sidewalk, making small talk and just enjoying each other’s company.

It seemed that everyone had the same idea as them, families and joggers and couples populating the large open area when they arrived.

Tony reached over to grab Peter’s hand, lacing their fingers together as they continued walking through the crowded park.

Peter glanced down. He thought about pulling away from the touch, not really sure if he wanted Tony holding his hand. He was still pretty upset from the drop. He was feeling much better, hence them taking a walk together in the first place, but he hadn’t forgotten how he’d had to figure things out all on his own. Far from it.

Sure, it wasn’t exactly Tony’s fault that the sudden endorphin drop had caused the illusion to glitch, but he was still upset. He had been left alone and miserable.

He didn’t pull his hand away, though. But he kept thinking about it.

Tony did nothing to suggest that he noticed anything was wrong. He was unaware of Peter’s thoughts, of course, but he didn’t seem to notice the teen’s hesitation regarding the contact either. Which was probably a good thing, honestly. Peter didn’t like confrontation and he wouldn’t know what to do if the older man brought attention to his behavior.

But it also kind of bothered him that Tony wasn’t paying attention. Which was stupid and probably untrue, but his brain wouldn’t let go of it.

In a moment of fleeting irritation, Peter did pull his hand away sharply and tucked it into his pocket. Maybe now his husband would finally realize that he did something wrong.

Because he had. Right?

The older man looked at him, blinking slowly in his confusion. “Peter?”

“Yes?” His tone was a little snappy, which he hadn’t necessarily intended. He needed to try and relax again. But it felt like he was wound too tightly, a rubber band whose elasticity was about to be pushed past its limit.

He didn’t know what would happen when the tension finally snapped.

He could see Tony watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t look at him again. He kept his eyes forward as they walked.

“Talk to me,” Tony encouraged, trying to reach for his hand again. When Peter didn’t pull away or react negatively, he laced his fingers with the teen’s. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Peter bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He knew that he couldn’t explain it. There wasn’t a way to tell Tony about the drop without explaining the illusion. And obviously that wasn’t going to happen.

But what else could he say?

“I just feel kind of off. I don’t really know how to explain it.” Not technically incorrect. But he knew that it wasn't really the answer that his husband was looking for.

Tony’s eyes were burning holes into the side of his face. “I’m sorry for that, honey. And that’s completely okay, everybody has off days, but I just… But did I do something? Because it kinda seems like I did….”

Peter finally glanced over at him, expression softening at the look on Tony’s face. He’d taken off his sunglasses and seemed sincerely apologetic, despite not having a clue what he had done. And he looked worried, too. Worried about him. “I...it’s okay, Tony. It’s- You didn’t do anything.” Lie. “I’ll be fine. Just feeling weird today, like I said.”

“Okay….” Tony sighed softly, nodding. His fingers squeezed Peter’s hand lightly. He let his eyes rove over his husband’s face for a moment, looking like he had something else to say, the words poised on the tip of his tongue. But all he did was quirk the side of his mouth up in the slightest hint of a smile, though Peter could tell it wasn’t quite a real one, staying silent as they kept walking.

Peter was quiet too, keeping his eyes trained on the sidewalk as they made their way through the park. He knew that it wasn’t Tony’s fault that he hadn’t been there to take care of him. That was just the reality of their situation; they couldn’t be together all the time. But the teen couldn’t get past the fact that he just hadn’t been there to help at all, no matter whose fault it was. It stirred something deep down inside of Peter, something hurt and upset and desperate. Something he hadn’t really known was there before.

It was a feeling that he wished he could just force down, back to wherever it came from. Ignore it until it dissipated.

But he kept coming back to the complete hopelessness that he’d felt as he sat on the floor of the compound.

Exhausted, dirty, and disconnected. With no one there to help him get better. Abandoned. It felt like he would never feel happiness again. Desolate.

And on purpose or not, it was all Tony’s fault.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on?”

Peter felt irritation flash hot through his veins. “What are you talking about, Tony? I just told you that it’s nothing, just a bad day. Just drop it.”

“I- That’s not what I mean, Peter, I’m sorry. It’s just that…” Tony squeezed his hand gently, taking a deep breath as he tried to search for the right words. “Well...I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been feeling weird too, kind of off? I realized that I don’t...remember much.” And the last thing that he could remember from before he and Peter got together wasn’t exactly something he wanted to dwell on.

The older man paused for a moment before speaking again. “I tried to ignore it because everything else felt...good. Perfect, even.” He gave his husband a small smile. His eyes betrayed him though, revealing his confusion and anxiety. “But then the thing that happened with your aunt…,” he trailed off. “Something’s happening and I can’t just pretend it’s all okay. Not anymore. Peter, what’s going on?”

Peter just looked at him, heart pounding. There was no way this was happening. Tony shouldn’t have remembered anything about what happened with May. He’d made sure of it... Hadn’t he? “What? Nothing is going on, Tony. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He just needed to try and manipulate the situation slightly, to ensure that this time Tony forgot all about the disaster with May.

Tony frowned at the panicked look that was overtaking Peter’s face, wanting answers but worried about causing his husband any distress, knowing that he was already feeling vulnerable. “Peter, I need you to tell me. Who...what am I, baby?”

Peter heard the words, but they didn’t register immediately. He just watched Tony, the way his mouth moved and how his expression went slightly...sad? Yes, he definitely looked sad.

But then his brain processed what the other man had said and it hit him.

Tony knew. He really knew.

How did he know?

“What?” Peter froze, pulling his hand away again as he slowly took a few steps back from Tony. Was that his voice? It sounded far-away, like he was disconnected from his body again. No, no, he wasn’t going to let that happen. He never wanted to feel like that ever again. He just had to focus and fix the situation. That’s all it was, just a small fix.

He closed his eyes, trying to focus long enough to make the small adjustment to the illusion. But he kept getting distracted by the distant feeling, and the reminder of his anger from before. It wasn’t working. He huffed out of frustration, dread prickling under his skin. Why wasn’t it working? “Tony, I don’t-“

“Please, Peter,” Tony said gently. His eyes flickered down to Peter’s hand that was now hanging limply by his side. He softly shook his head, looking back up at the teen. “I just want to know the truth, whatever it is. It’ll be-”

The rubber band snapped.

“Don’t you dare tell me it will be okay or fine or whatever the hell it is you're about to say!” Peter was all but yelling, unable to keep the bitterness and pain out of his voice. He stopped walking completely, turning to face the older man. His eyes were wild as he glared up at Tony before looking away as he continued to speak. “You have no fucking right to say that Tony, you have no idea how I feel! You don’t know what it’s like to try so hard and always end up so fucking alo-”

There was a loud sound, almost a pop, that caused his eyes to open again from surprise, having closed them as he blinked back tears of frustration. His head whipped around to see if the older man knew what was happening, concern overpowering his anger, when the words died in his throat.

Red. All Peter could see was deep, dark red, spreading across the fabric of Tony’s white t- shirt. And the shocked look on his husband's face, his eyes wide with disbelief as he moved a hand to feel the spot, just underneath his heart. Right under where the arc reactor used to be.

Tony had gotten shot.

But what? No. No, no, that wasn’t right. Tony couldn’t get hurt. He wasn’t supposed to get hurt. Peter was only trying to correct the things he had somehow overlooked, get rid of the memories the older man wasn’t supposed to have, not-

“Peter?” Tony’s voice was a mumble as he touched his fingers to his chest, pulling away with red stained tips.

“Tony,” the teen choked out, tears stinging in his eyes again. How the fuck had that happened? He didn’t- He hadn’t meant to do anything like that, Tony wasn’t supposed to get hurt. He couldn’t-

He couldn’t leave Peter again.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out, the first tears falling. Peter pressed his hands to the wound on his husband’s chest in a weak attempt to rectify the situation. He shifted his body, easily supporting most of Tony’s weight as the man’s legs started to give out. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do this. You’ve gotta believe me, Tony, I- I didn’t- I swear I didn’t mean to-”

Tony’s face was pale as he leaned his head on Peter’s shoulder, taking a shuddering breath. The sound terrified the younger man. “You didn’t...Peter, you didn’t do this.”

Peter shook his head quickly, choking back a pained cry. He didn’t want to believe that had done it. But there was no other explanation, how else would it happen? He was the only one with control in the illusion, despite the way he ‘let’ Tony be in charge during their scene the other day.

(Although that fact was seeming more and more questionable as time went on.)

He pushed Tony’s shirt up with a trembling hand after wiping his own eyes, looking blearily at the wound. It went clear through, back to front.

“Fuck, Tony,” he breathed, ignoring the blood that was dripping over his fingers. The sensation barely registered. He just needed Tony to be okay.

Maybe if he focused he could actually fix it. It had to work, there was no other option. He just... needed to focus without getting upset again. Because clearly that had only made things worse.

So much worse.

He tried to narrow his attention again, one hand pressed lightly over the injury and the other helping to support Tony as he closed his eyes. He was in control. He could make Tony better again.

Peter felt Tony’s hands cover his own and he opened his eyes, lashes still wet with tears that fought to spill over.

“I’ll be okay, baby,” the older man said quietly. He blinked slowly at Peter, trying to convey with his eyes that his trust in his husband was as strong as ever. “I know you’ll make sure I’m okay. You won’t let anything happen to me.” Maybe he didn’t know what exactly was going on, but Peter was obviously playing some sort of role in the things that were happening. He just wasn’t sure what. And trying to find out clearly hadn’t done him any good. “Let’s go home.” His voice trembled despite how he tried to sound calm.

Peter looked at him, breathing hard as he looked around. The park and the people around them carried on as if the past few minutes never happened, oblivious to the situation and his distress. Which he guessed was a good thing. Maybe. The contrast was jarring, regardless. “Home...yeah, let’s...go. We should go home.” He could keep trying to manipulate things on the way so that Tony would be okay and...maybe he’d actually get him to him to forget about everything that had happened on their walk.

He clung close to Tony, and he knew that he wouldn’t have been willing to let go of him even if he hadn’t needed to help him walk. He couldn’t. He had to make sure that his husband would be okay, and touching him allowed him some assurance that he was for the time being.

The teen regretted how angry and upset he’d been before. What happened hadn’t really been Tony’s fault and he knew that. It was all his. He’d known that the whole fucking time. It was just so easy to be hurt when he was alone and vulnerable like that.

But he wasn’t alone. At least not in Tony’s eyes.

Or… Or maybe he was since Tony was figuri-

No. He couldn’t think about that, thinking about that was only going to make things worse. He had to focus on Tony.

Despite his best efforts, spending the entire walk home watching Tony worriedly, Peter was unable to make any kind of progress in closing the wound in the older man’s chest. Tony’s body got heavier the closer they came to the tower, and by the time they reached the elevator, he was breathing shallowly as Peter supported all of his weight.

Grunting in pain as they stepped out into the foyer of the penthouse, Tony grit his teeth. “We gotta do something about this hole, Pete.” Sweat was rolling in beads down his forehead and back, soaking his already saturated shirt. “Don’t-,” he swallowed roughly, knuckles white as he clenched his fist. “Don’t wanna pass out.”

Peter nodded slowly, his reaction time slowed with his stress over the situation. Tony’s words made his heart go into overdrive again, because fuck. That was a fucking possibility, wasn’t it? Tony could lose consciousness- He could actually bleed out, even, despite the wound not being immediately fatal. Peter felt sick. “You need to stay awake,” he agreed quietly, voice shaking, unable to say the other words out loud.

If he remembered one thing from his own mishaps, it was that staying awake was vital with an injury. Especially such a serious one. Life-threatening. But he really didn’t want to think about it that way.

(Didn’t want to think about the way he’d felt cold as his eyes slipped shut on the dark train, body screaming with every breath, every pump of his heart, sure that he was dying. Sure that he’d get to be with Tony again-)

What was he supposed to do? Hell, what could he do? He clearly couldn’t get the wound closed by trying to mentally control the situation. (But why? Why was nothing working? The illusion was still up and running, so he obviously was still directing it.) So he needed to take another approach.

He wasn’t the best at doing stitches, only using them when he absolutely had to, on the wounds that he knew would take too long to heal, the ones that would catch May’s attention, but maybe that would have to do. He morbidly thought that at least he wouldn’t be the one feeling the pain this time. It probably wasn’t even the ideal response to the situation. Actual medical professionals would likely have other, more effective methods of intervention. Tony had a hole straight through his body. Peter didn’t care. It would have to do. He’d try just about anything to make Tony stop bleeding, at this point.

He silently guided Tony to their room, still supporting most of his weight as they walked. He was tempted to just hold the man in his arms, as it would certainly allow them to reach their destination faster, but he didn’t want to cause Tony any further discomfort by jostling him any more than what was necessary.

Once they were in the bedroom, he helped Tony sit down on the bed. Then once the older man seemed (relatively) comfortable, Peter reluctantly pulled away. Only to find a suture kit, but he still felt guilty.

The whole fucked up situation started because he felt alone, now he was leaving Tony alone when he needed Peter the most. Even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

Peter didn’t have to search for a kit long. Once he was able to focus, he made sure there would be one in the next drawer that he opened. Because of course there was, of course it worked. All he had to do was think of it, conjure it into existence.

Sure, he could make the equipment he needed appear on a mere whim, but he couldn’t save Tony from his own fuck up that he’d caused in the same way.

That was just fucking perfect.

He tried not to break the faucet as he turned the water on, frustration bleeding into anger.

As soon as he had the kit in his now clean hands, he rushed back to Tony’s side.

“How are you feeling now, baby?” Peter asked weakly, all of the fight that had built up in him in the bathroom disappearing at the sight of the older man. He didn’t know what he was hoping for. Maybe the wound had miraculously healed. A delayed reaction from what he’d tried earlier, or even just responding to his desperation. Anything.

Tony just gave him a pained expression, face somehow paler than it had been before. Not exactly promising. His eyes were glassy as he blinked up at Peter, mouth twitching when he grit his teeth.

“Okay...well, I found the first aid kit. So I can try to...try to fix this, okay?” Peter’s voice shook slightly despite his attempt to steady it. Even though he knew he was mostly talking to himself, he didn’t want Tony to know how afraid he was.

As if the panicked set of his eyes and the frantic way his once again blood-stained hands were jerking around trying to find something to do weren’t giving him away. He ripped Tony’s t-shirt in half, exposing his chest as he tried his best to wipe away the excess blood with some cloths he’d brought from the bathroom.

There was no real response from Tony, just a vague imitation of a nod and a grunt from the pain he was in.

Maybe… Maybe he could at least try and take away some of the pain first.

“Tony,” Peter said softly, lips trembling as he leaned down to press a kiss to his sweaty temple. “It’s gonna be okay.” He took a shaky breath, letting his eyes slip shut as he stayed in that position, curled around Tony’s body. He thought about the way he’d felt after those extra strength painkillers he’d received after his fight with Liz’s dad. The warm, thick, fuzzy feeling.

After a moment he opened his eyes again and sat up, gingerly pressing his fingers to the skin just to the side of the wound. “Can you,” he swallowed. “Can you f-feel that Tony?”

The older man groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Yes,” he bit out. “Of course I can feel that.” He took a labored breath. “Fuck, Pete, it hurts.” His voice was a whimper, or at least the closest thing to one the younger man had ever heard come from him.

Peter’s heart lurched in his chest and he immediately pulled his fingers away. Fuck, fuck, so he was going to have to do this without any kind of relief for Tony. “O-okay, okay,” he said unsteadily, mostly in an attempt to calm himself. He could do this.

He opened the kit that was beside them on the bed and pulled out a bottle of sterile water (there was alcohol too, but Peter knew that it would do more harm than good on such a deep wound) and a smaller kit with everything needed for suturing: suture thread, a needle driver, a couple different curved needles, and some scissors. There were forceps too, but he’d never had the patience for using them.

“This is, uh, this is probably gonna sting a bit, T, I’m sorry,” Peter whispered, looking up at Tony’s face as he uncapped the plastic bottle. “I’ll try to be quick, I p-promise.” All he got in response was another nod that was simultaneously jerky and sluggish. God, he was so out of it, and this was going to hurt so bad, Peter knew it. “Here, wait,” the teen rushed out after a moment, yanking his shirt off. “Open your mouth.”

Tony complied, making soft noises of discomfort as Peter placed some of the fabric in his mouth.

“Bite down on that, okay?” Taking a breath, Peter began to pour the clear liquid into the wound. He let out a pained cry of his own as Tony immediately began whimpering, the veins in his neck and head bulging as he pushed back against the pillows, teeth clenched around the bunched up t-shirt. “It’s okay,” Peter sobbed out, putting down the bottle and narrowly resisting the urge to run his hand through Tony’s sweat-soaked hair. He had to keep his hands as clean as possible. “It’s okay, Tony, I’m gonna fix it. I- I love you, I’m so sorry.”

Once he was satisfied that he wasn’t going to trap any bacteria inside Tony’s body, and Tony’s wails had quieted down to soft whines, Peter opened up the package of needles. He grabbed one that looked to be about the right size and threaded it with the suture line before securing it in the grip of the needle-driver. “Ok-kay Tony, here we go.”

His left hand manipulated the torn skin into the correct position while his right pushed the tip of the curved needle through. Peter gagged at the resistance he could feel, pausing and squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to breathe through the nausea. He had to do this, for Tony.

Peter placed a few interrupted sutures in the front of Tony’s chest, letting out a shaky sigh when the last was secured and the surface of the small wound was closed. He knew that the only reason Tony hadn’t yelled his throat raw was because his brain wasn’t processing the pain anymore. “You did so good, Tony,” he breathed as he blinked over at the man who was shuddering with his own labored breaths before looking down at his bloodied hands.

Sitting the tools down on the sterile pad he’d laid out, the young man’s hands moved to clutch at his husband. “Baby,” he said gently, voice calm now that he had fallen into the rhythm of his actions, satisfied now that he knew that he had a way to take care of Tony. A way to help him. He could take care of Tony the way he’d wanted Tony to take care of him. “I’m gonna roll you over now, okay? I need to stitch up the e-exit wound now, on your back. You’re doing so good, it’s all gonna be alright, T.”

After placing two stitches in the skin of Tony’s back, Peter took the kit back to the bathroom. He came back with a few warm, wet washcloths that he used to wipe the blood from his husband’s body.

Tony let out a soft whimper at the touch, his features crumpling in discomfort. “Pete,” he breathed, blinking wetly.

“I know,” Peter murmured softly. “But it’s all done now, you’re gonna be okay.” He went about settling the older man properly in the bed, stripping him of his jeans and pulling the sheet up over his legs and abdomen.

The blood-soaked comforter turned operating table had been pushed to the floor along with Tony’s shredded shirt, another blanket having been dragged out of the linen closet to be draped on top of the wounded man.

Peter sat down on the bed gently, right at Tony’s side. He wasn’t going anywhere else, this was where he needed to be. He had to take care of Tony. He wasn’t going to leave him alone.

One hand held onto his husband’s, the other finally moving to gently stroke through the older man’s hair. He knew that always tended to relax Tony when he was stressed.

Tony’s eyes slowly opened up to look at him, a slight smile tugging at his lips. Well, as much of one as he could manage. “Hey, baby...” He closed his eyes again. “Should’a been a doctor, Pete,” he sighed.

Peter tried to give him a smile back, but it was just as weak as the older man’s. The adrenaline that had allowed him to focus and successfully tend to Tony’s wounds was seeping out of him, leaving him feeling drained and overwhelmed once more. “Hey, Tony. How are you feeling?” There was a pit in his stomach as he waited for an answer. He was worried that Tony would hate him once his head was finally clear from the pain. He couldn’t lose Tony here too, he couldn’t-

Tony being alive but wanting nothing to do with him would be even worse than the man dying again.

As he started panicking, Peter completely missed Tony’s answer. He was lost in his own thoughts as he spiraled further and further into the chaos in his mind.

Tony’s hand lightly squeezing his brought him back to the present, grounding him. The older man always knew just what he needed. “Peter? You okay, honey?”

“What? I’m- yeah, I’m fine.” A huge lie. But he didn’t need Tony to worry about him. All his husband needed to worry about was healing and getting better. “How are you feeling?” He repeated his question.

“I already answered that.” Tony laughed weakly, making a face when his chest throbbed at the action. “You keep spacing out on me, baby. I’m feeling alright, not too bad. It takes a lot to get me down.”

That was definitely true on some level, at least. It seemed like Tony would keep fighting no matter what. The reactor, the palladium poisoning Rhodey had told him about, the...the stones. It was both endearing to Peter, the way the man persevered despite the damage done to his body, and completely terrifying. Although he’d thought he wouldn’t have to worry about the terrifying part here in the illusion.

But Tony got hurt anyway.

The older man shook Peter out of his thoughts once again when he started speaking. He was frowning softly, and Peter could tell that it was half playful and half genuine concern. “Why are you just sitting there? Come here. If you’re banishing me to be in bed, you can at least lay here with me.”

Peter slowly nodded, moving to lay down next to the other man. He remained on top of the covers to be sure he stayed clear of Tony’s injury, not wanting to hurt him, but still cuddling up to him as best he could. He couldn’t stay away. The mere thought of being away from Tony made the panic in his chest rear its head again.

And the regret. The guilt.

He’d fucked up. He knew he did. Everything that had happened was all his fault.

But he could fix it. And it would actually work this time. He was in control of his actions, he could handle some of the issues directly. He’d care for Tony while he healed, try to figure out what the disconnect was with his influence on the illusion, and make him forget all about this horrible situation. And he’d be sure to take away memories of the confrontation from May that set the entire thing into motion

Peter knew that he could fix everything. It had to be possible. He still had control over the situation, and Tony was going to be absolutely fine after some TLC.

He just needed to do some more patching on EDITH’s neural pathways within the STARKER program.

That would surely take care of things.

[mrskurono]

what !!!! omnipotent being !!! i mean thank you sm ily2 you’re so sweet and i love ur writing too 🥺 but i don’t deserve such high praise it’s just my horny ass thoughts finally seeing the light of day 😭 but like honestly it’s only because u were so open to my ideas 🥺 like i’ve tried sending thirsts to other blogs but it never rlly turned out well, usually them saying they didn’t vibe or simply not answering (which could mean it never reached them at all !!), and‼️ i don’t blame them for at all ‼️ it’s completely ok to not vibe with an ask or ignore it it’s ur blog after all, but i’d be lying if i say that it didn’t make my confidence in sending thirsts go 📉📉📉. the last thing i want is to make other people uncomfortable :(. so like lowkey u were my last shot and if it was badly received again, i was just gonna give up on sending thirsts completely lol ✌🏼😗✨

basically just wanted to say that i rlly appreciate you liking my thoughts 🥺

- 🪢🥸 sorry this got long and rambly and kinda em*tional omg 🤢🤢 now back to our regularly 😎 scheduled 😜 fun jokes 🤪 and horny hour 🥵

YOUR THIRSTS ARE THE EXACT THING I NEEDED TO ACTUALLY WANT TO WRITE AGAIN OK LIKE- HOLD ON IM ALREADY PMS EMOTIONAL HERE LET ME JUST FULL ON HAVE AN (1) EMOTION OK-

Wait ima put it under read more sorry I went off .-.

My other writing blog was fun when it started. I mostly wrote for anyone (jjk) people sent in. So y'know 99% Gojo, Nanami, Toji and Sukuna (this was even before Geto got popular so it was hardcore those four and that's it) and the 1% I spent writing about Mahito and the other curses. Which is where my dark content side really started bc I loved writing that/felt inspired. Where the other shit felt like a job.

But I hated writing for the popular characters. It was the same thing. Every. Single. Ask. Fucking I'd have 12 asks "Sukuna with a short s/o that he loves uwu" I fucking hated it. I hate ooc crap and mischaracterizations just so it can fit what someone wants (crack content is a thing, pls do enjoy it, I just personally don't enjoy it) And finally I took a 2 week break after a Kinkmas event and boom. I didn't want to write anymore. I just didn't want to keep doing it.

Which was shit bc this is my only hobby now due to covid + having a baby. So writing for me is my only outlet. I can't go out and even do normal "first time mom" things bc of the raging anxiety of getting my son, or my wife or my elderly grandma sick. So I've basically been stuck at home an entire year (it'll be an entire year around March 15th ish bc that's when we went into lockdown) and writing was the only hobby I could continue bc the rest involved, y'know, outside world things. So when I didn't want to write anymore honestly I felt like shit (I almost was tired of jjk too, I loved the show but running a blog for it made me hate it bc of the fans)

Well then i branched out to hq bc it's a definite comfort show to me and one of my favorites so I thought adding it would help inspire me to write again. Truthfully I expect this blog to flop bc I've seen almost no femdom content on tumblr. Like- I've seen more anti femdom content from blogs than I've seen femdom blogs. So naturally I expected this to never go anywhere and I'd probably end up deleting it anyways.

But then you came along (and a few others from my old blog + newbies) and you guys have made this so much fun for me. And made me feel so validated by what I find sexually comfortable. I don't like to be sub. It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me not want to have sex. So the quantity of "cute little sub reader calling so and so daddy while he makes her cry" eww. Just. No. Eww. That's triggering you dumb fucks. I'm not small. I'm not submissive and I'm not a play thing. So I don't want to read it. And the amount of daddy issue having idiots who want to be beaten like white trash but turn their nose up at femdom bc its "gross" just drives me bat shit.

Your thirsts are amazing. Your content you send me makes my day I legit check for them when my son gets up to eat at night. They're the kinda things I wanna do bc to me thats arousing. The dynamics in femdom sub/dom are just so much different than the other shit and people just don't get it. The female is in control but with it there's so much unspoken consent always being checked and there's a side of caring that always is present unlike with the other shit I read. People ask why I like it and really all i can think to say is femdom tends to nurture a more caring dynamic between the two. You treat your sub well and the sub loves the dom. The two coexist to still take care of each other even if it's someone tied up and pegging them until they're drooling. Femdom makes consent and caring its main pillar that stems a good dom/sub dynamic. The shit people are out there doing right now with "Atsumu fucking you even if it hurts but you suck it up" or "Sakusa hits you all the time but its fine" jfc I get writing trauma but EVERYTHING is that. I don't know if yall need to collectively get off the internet and go to counseling or what. But daddy kink is not a personality trait and no everyone is into it.

Anyways shit sorry for the rant. The fact people hate your thirsts drive me crazy bc it's the same bias shit for writing femdom bc everyone is a God damn weak wristed pillow princess with daddy issues as their only personality trait and haven't ever had sex just fucked a poster of saskue or whatever the emo dude is off naruto. Just know I love your thirsts and everything you send me. None of it makes me uncomfortable bc it's the exact delicious stuff that I love. Minus mad passionate sex with Kageyama. I'm very vanilla with him but that's bc I'm stupid and in love. So ignore that. But babe ilysm pls always feel comfortable on this blog it's your home to be yourself I promise ♡♡♡♡

[firebirdsdaughter]

Onward!...

... To the O-T subs of Zi-O 21! Yay!

Also, fair warning, this will probably include spoilers for Ryuki. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet and doesn’t want anything spoiled.

In no order:

Still sad we didn’t get to see Geiz coming home. :(

Sworz and Herue’s family moment is still kinda sweet, despite them being who they are.

This, too, is Decade’s fault.

I LOVE THE ZI-OT3 INVESTIGATING!

Like I said in an earlier post today, I think I understand why it’s Ryuga and not Ryuki. Bc at the end of Ryuki, everything was reset and the events of the series never happened. Shinji didn’t just forget he was a Kamen Rider, he never was one in the first place. But just bc it didn’t happen doesn’t mean that somewhere, some place, the Mirror World ever went away completely. Maybe it somehow preserved Ryuga, and he’s just been hanging out, hiding in the new Shinji’s reflection? Waiting for something like this...

Poor Shinji. Given his reaction later, I’m wondering if he considers himself responsible--which raises my question of if he was actually trying to kill himself bc he thought that might stop the attacks, or if he was just so terrified he covered up everything and accidentally sealed himself in in a panic.

Hands, who thinks Kido is an idiot? ... Goddamnit, Ron.

I love the Zi-Ot3 having planning sessions, too.

Sou Okuno remains adorable and it is so unfair.

Like I said. Geiz is one of those people where if punching it doesn’t work, you just punch harder--and if you break your arm doing it? So be it.

He starts the sentence neutral, then switches to first person. Just... Decides it’s gonna be him. Bc he’s the soldier, and fighting with his life is the only thing he’s ever done.

Sougo clearly doesn’t quite understand the seriousness of the situation, clearly thinks they’re still brainstorming, (honestly don’t blame him--most people wouldn’t be expecting someone to actually be meaning to go through w/ that), but Tsukuyomi is clearly well aware of the fact that Geiz will absolutely do this, and she’s not happy.

Junichiro does the only acceptable impression of Kuro Woz ever.

WAS THE LEAF PILE MOVING IMPORTANT?

Shinji doesn’t just have no memory of it, he has double no memory of it! (that may have been a reference to that)

Kuro Woz begins to, well, Woz, and Sougo walks away. I LOVE THIS. Force the manipulative jerk to walk after you!

KWoz remains incapable of picking up on tacit cues. Seriously, dude, even I am clear on how uncomfortable Sougo is w/ this. And I am awful at tacit cues.

ELBOW HIM IN THE STOMACH SOUGO!

Okay... This seems a little more like they’re talking about something e don’t know about... But he’s still noting it might kill him, so my other comments do still hold. But other than some protectiveness that he’s in denial about, why does he think it has to be him? Did Shiro Woz do something? Was there more to that vision than we saw?

Well, maybe Tsukuyomi doesn’t know? She’s pretty against it.

The little face twitch after she reminds him Sougo didn’t like the idea either. I think he’s secretly touched Sougo cares, but too Tsundere to admit it.

No, we weren’t waiting. We just knew if we stood still for five minutes, you’d be somewhere in the scenery, creepily dropping eves.

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

I can never hear that the same again.

I am still extremely uncomfortable w/ this phrasing. I’ve seen people connecting it to PreCure, where it’s the villain’s goal? And while I don’t watch PreCure, I absolutely agree. That’s not a normal way of referring to a peaceful era. It’s suspicious. Makes me think that either time literally is stopped, or that it’s ‘peaceful’ bc it’s all controlled by the future Nooks or something.

My hope for this is that they make a third timeline, and the point of the story is that we forge our own destinies, and sometimes not knowing exactly what the future holds is a good thing. Not everything is predetermined, that freedom is more important than martially imposed ‘peace’--and that even if things are apparently doomed to end w/ you murdering half the world, there’s always something you can do to change things. In a world where a lot of young people are suffering under the exacting expectations of others (and this is not saying Japan specifically, this is a thing everywhere), I feel like that would be a great message for kids. Wow. Okay. Got a bit mushy there.

Hm... Honestly, this translation makes Geiz sound more suspicious of it than anything--though given the flashback, I do think that the ‘peace’ part sounds good to them. However... Well, I have some other things to say on this subject, but we can get to that lower down.

THAT’S NOT THE FACE OF A PERSON I TRUST.

Poor Shinji, he’s so scared! He’s gotta have been seeing his reflection be like ‘hey, you wanna go murder this guy right, I’m gonna do it!’ so much he can’t even bear to look at it... Oh, sweetie... Ron! Come get Shinji he’s making me cry!

Need I remind anyone that I hate Shiro Woz?

Not you, Keisuke, you’re an angel and I’m thrilled you’re here.

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Ahem. Okay, anyway. This is another reason why I’m confused as to whether or not Toei wants me to think Geiz is actually going to switch ‘sides’ or something or not. He jumps in to defend Shinji w/out a single hesitation, and I really think there’s meant to be parallels between this and his initial stance towards Sougo. Like, that one scene w/ the flashback to Goggles (WHO IN TIME IS GOGGLES THE DEAD PERSON?) seemed to be meant to indicate that he was starting to believe Shiro Woz--but here? It’s coming across as the opposite. WHICH IS IT TOEI?

I will continue to believe that they will not do that to my precious tsundere baby until they actually do. And when/if (please dear gods I hope it doesn’t) that happens... Tea and shirts? I’ll make cookies?

G T F O Shiro Woz. No one wants your approval at all, esp not Geiz.

No! Poor Shinji... Ron, come help Shinji! Ron! ... What’s that? Not until the special? But that’s in March! We’ll be in another arc by then! Goddamnit, Ron.

I’m making a dumb joke, I have no clue if Ren is gonna be back in the special. I would be excited if he was, though.

Don’t listen to him, Shinji. You Rider Kicked him in the face in another... Another... A timeline twice removed? Or maybe once? Maybe they just never altered the Ryuki timeline since it did that one it’s own?

Ah, sweet justice.

Can’t believe I’m cheering for this asshole. But I just really dislike Shiro Woz.

Okay, Heure, you jerking Shiro Woz around is valid, but that dig at Geiz was unnecessary.

Also, even though there’s (well, was?) a ‘justifiable’ reason for what Shiro Woz was doing, Geiz remains unhappy about it.

... Okay, why did we get a ‘gasp’ reaction from Shiro Woz to that? What exactly happened on your ‘Day of Ouma,’ you snake? Oh what am I saying. Like he’d give me a straight answer.

Goddamit, Geiz. DX

We knew you were gonna do this, though.

Sougo finally arrives, and actually understands that Geiz has no chill whatsoever and will absolutely do this shit.

But it seriously kinda does feel like Geiz’s mentality is ‘I’m a soldier, I have to be willing to fight to the death’ sort of thing. Or maybe even ‘I’m the soldier so I’m more expendable’ (which the angst part of me kinda wants to be something that comes up--‘I’m the fighter, I’m the one who dies’ sort of thing; and then the other two smack him for it).

I just love Geiz as the ‘protector’ part of the triangle. Like, I feel like he’s starting to fall into it? Like, willing to protect the other two w/ his life (not that they don’t all protect each other, but... Do you know what I mean?).

Friendship moments are hard for Geiz, but this is still a good one. He’s literally getting forced to face the fact that Sougo cares about him and doesn’t want him to kamikaze attack.

I love this, though. Before, we saw that Sougo was uncomfortable w/ the Zi-O II Ride Watch, and its implications for his future. But he’d rather use an item that may very well be either a step or even a lock into him becoming the Demon King he was so disturbed and upset by before, than let Geiz die. Might be bad news for the world, but...

Makes me wonder if there’s gonna be a ‘I won’t let you turn into Ouma Zi-O even if I die’ thing, except it’s not ‘fight you to the death’ thing and more ‘I’ll keep trying to keep you good even if it gets me killed/I have to sacrifice myself.’

Oh my god. Like if there’s a way to keep Sougo from becoming Ouma Zi-O (like, w/out killing him), but it was, like, fatal. Geiz would absolutely do it. Or try to. Hell, maybe even both him or Tsukuyomi. Or they’d both try to do it, but also try to protect each other from it... Like she tries to stun him so he can’t, and he tries to beat here there, or something... There I go.

THE TRIUMPHANT MUSIC! And you just know it’s gonna cut out. XD

My guess is that it failed bc Sougo was secretly doubting his future. Like, he’s wholeheartedly ready to use it bc he doesn’t want Geiz sacrificing himself, but he’s still scared it’ll turn him into Ouma Zi-O? And maybe he has to be confident in his abilities before it will work? Me make sense? Who would do that.

Well, one thing I’ll say for him. Another Ryuga is cool.

Okay, okay. Here’s the last thing, I swear. If they’re trying to imply that Geiz is gonna turn on Sougo... No one told Gaku before he voiced those two ‘Zi-O!’s. That sounded way too frightened and concerned for someone you’re starting to doubt.

I swear, I’ve heard that music somewhere...

I loved how everyone’s reactions to this sequence was literally ‘well, I assume they’re showing us everything is backwards, but I couldn’t read kanji to begin w/, so...’ ^^ XD

Wow, nice on the signs O-T! How much harder was it to do the subtitles backwards?

Mirror¡Sougo is bouncy like bunny!

Mirror¡Sougo tries to be creepy, but regular Sougo doesn’t even register it. This kid would be both a joy and a risk in a horror situation.

I love the way Sougo dodges the ‘eye blocks’ when Mirror¡Sougo transforms, and Mirror¡Sougo hits one back w/ his sword when Sougo transforms... It’s cool.

Preview: Oh, yeah. Geiz dies next week. Now where’s my new favourite picture... XD I will love it if there’s a situation where Sougo is able to see out of the Mirror World and sees what’s happening. I mean, Another Ryuga can look out, why not Sougo? Maybe that’ll be what finally seals the deal on him actually using the Watch?

See, this ‘opening’ ‘creating ‘cutting open’ the future stuff rings to me like the goal is that thing I mentioned above. About choosing one’s own destiny, no matter hat tries to shape you.

Anyway, I like the Zi-O II suit. Excited for ep 22. ^^

That’s all, folks! (wonder how long it’ll be before I get sued for that XD). Virtual red velvet cupcakes for anyone who read all of that. And if you don’t like those, then... Well, pick your favourite flavour! ^^ And if you don’t like cupcakes, then pick a sweet you do like.

Anyway, I’m having a good time and enjoying this. I love the Zi-Ot3, in case that wasn’t clear, and atm I’m looking forward to 22. Of course, things could always turn out... Unfortunately, but I still have tea and shirts on standby.

... Now I want read velvet cupcakes again...

(If you count the number of bolded words in this post, you get a hardy handshake!)

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

-  oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS  GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me 

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future 

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

-  how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

-  aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like…  be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help

[jeonbase]

I read that fic you talked about yesterday, which I really loved!! I was wondering if you could rec more Yoonkook fics you've read so far this year? Thanks xx

i have so much tabs open of fics i’ve been meaning to read from yk week but also fics i’ve come across and have yet to read… but these are the ones that i’ve read so far this year: 

the life we live by blackksakura

Jungkook begins to have doubts about continuing Golden Closet, but his boyfriend over at Genius Lab knows better.

(canon verse, fluff)

my will is yours by raspberrychai

Jeongguk is cursed with perfect obedience; he can never disobey a direct order. It’s a living hell until he meets Min Yoongi.

(au, ella enchanted au, chaebol!yoongi, childhood friends, slow burn, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, eventual smut)

note: this was such an interesting concept and au for a fic, i’ve never read anything like it and i think it was the first work i’ve read of raspberrychai’s and… i was captured by their writing, this is such a masterpiece

bad boy by xiajin

roses are red, veins are blue, i’d do anything for you.

(au, murder, death, blood, violence, possessive behavior, stalking, obsession, sociopathy, attempted sexual harassment (not between yk), non-con/dub-con (not between yk), unhealthy relationships, minor character death, asphyxiation)

note: i’ve reread this twice this month and im… still not over it???  this fic was so… something i never knew i needed, god the way summer writes and captures a story and the characters/characterization always has me in awe and amazed… all the little details, the subtleness of certain things.. wow im… beautiful

home by dreamingdaegu

Home, Jungkook has come to learn, is not a constant.

(hyyh au, light angst)

note: dreamingdaegu blessed us with another masterpiece

just called to say i love you by raspberrychai

Yoongi isn’t like Jeongguk’s brother’s other alpha friends and Jeongguk is secretly sort of really in love with him.

(au, abo au, fluff, smut, alpha!yoongi, omega!jeongguk, friends to lovers, top!yoongi, bottom!jeongguk)

note: i’ve mentioned this in my last ask but i love this fic so much

i hear you in the spring breeze by ial

[17/09/01 2:12 AM] yoongi: i still dream about you[17/09/01 2:12 AM] yoongi: a lot[17/09/01 2:12 AM] yoongi: more than i should[17/09/01 2:12 AM] yoongi: is that weird

[17/09/01 2:43 AM] yoongi: don’t answer that

[17/09/01 5:57 AM] yoongi: is it though

(ANGST, implied depression, implied suicidal thoughts)

note: :) my heart still hurts, a beautiful fic written by beautiful wonderful talented nat, please give nat all the love

my little work of art by becomingjk

yoongi has a fascination with jeongguk’s scar.

(canon verse(?), established relationship, fluff)

note: ‘my handsome baby, prettier than all of the flowers’ kook is!!! he rlly is!!! this fic was so soft, i live for fics that mention kook’s cheek scar and yoons loving it cause… Same

small talks by licornes

At first, Jungkook just likes the sound of his voice.

(au, slow burn, underground rapper!yoongi, blind!jeongguk)

affection, always by suisei_honeymoon

jungkook shows up to genius lab and yoonkook have their own mini birthday celebration.or: the reason why the twitter birthday video ended so abruptly

(canon verse, fluff, mild smut)

piece of peace by dreamingdaegu

Yoongi and Jungkook spend the night together.

(canon verse, fluff,  light angst, smut, mature, top!yoongi, bottom!jeongguk)

now by rire

It hits him at the weirdest moment possible.

Jungkook’s got his perfect, pink lips wrapped around Yoongi’s cock, big doe eyes innocently contrary to the obscene noises he’s making. Yoongi slides a hand shakily down to cup Jungkook’s jaw, thumbing the scar on his cheek, and Jungkook kind of involuntarily nuzzles into his touch like he always does. At that very moment, Yoongi’s heart does a little flip-kick. He looks at Jungkook and thinks, with fierce, unmistakable clarity— I love him.

(canon verse, fluff, explicit, smut, top!yoongi, bottom!jeongguk)

note: i just talked about this fic the other day and honestly it’s so fucking good, this characterization is my fav and just like the little details and certain things that are said in this fic is so??? wow and yoongi fucking jeongguk and eating him out with agust d tracks playing in the bg…. A Fucking Concept (also im still ded over the mention of jin cutting his bangs adjjskdfl)

sonatina by raspberrychai

Sometimes we just need a little repetition to see what’s right in front of our eyes.

(Yoongi gets stuck repeating the same day over and over again until Jeon Jeongguk fades into view.)

(au, time travel, composer!yoongi, famous!yoongi, slow burn, pining)

note: :(( i hope raspberrychai comes back, their writing is so lovely, one of my top favs

parachute by cinibun (akiikook)

Min Yoongi is a lonely workaholic CEO who adopts a bunny hybrid named Jungkook.

(au, ceo!yoongi, bunny hybrid!jeongguk, fluff, smut, explicit, heat)

don’t say goodnight by artangeltae

Yoongi worked late and just wants to sleep but Jungkook keeps him awake. Can he even be mad about it?

(au, painter!jeongguk, fluff)

wake up (inside me) by asterismos

jungkook wants to try something new. yoongi’s apprehensive but gives in bc he’s weak. he likes it more than he thought he would.

(explicit, smut, consensual somnophilia, dom/sub, established relationship, top!yoongi, bottom!jeongguk, dom!yoongi, sub!jeongguk)

young & dumb by notyoongs

“Yeah. Wanna be your baby.” There’s another puff of air against his skin, and he feels Jeongguk turn his face further into Yoongi’s neck, like he’s trying to hide—it does nothing to quell the flip of his stomach. But Jeongguk is drunk—that’s all. He tries to remind himself of that even though he really, really doesn’t want to think about it. He prefers to pretend this is what every weekend could be, even without the alcohol.

(or: jeongguk is drunk and just wants yoongi to cuddle him. as usual, he gets his way.)

(au, college au, fluff, drinking, grinding)

note: also mentioned this in the last ask, cute ass fic

in the midnight hour by marienadine

Jeongguk can’t sleep alone.

(established relationship, mild hurt/comfort, fluff)

heart bind by xiajin

yoongi didn’t need to break his heart; jungkook did it all on his own.

(au, angst, friends with benefits, famous!yoongi, singer!jeongguk, anxiety, self-esteem issues, internalized homophobia, mentions of starvation, mentions of attempted suicide)

give me your hand and save me before i fall by arcticcircle

The manager’s hardest on Jungkook of all; he’s young, and excitable, and sometimes can’t help being silly on stage. When the other members aren’t around he knows the consequences can be steep - but with a little help from his hyung, he remembers that he’s not alone and that he has someone he can rely on.

(canon verse, emotional hurt/comfort, referenced physical violence)

engaging by xiajin

“hyung,” jungkook starts as soon as yoongi opens the door to the apartment they share, “let’s get engaged.”

(au, fluff)

l'heure bleue by pursuit

“i can’t sleep.”

or; yoongi is definitely weak.

(canon verse, hurt/comfort, fluff, top!yoongi, bottom!jeongguk)

[tomioneer]

the yyh marathon continues 10 with episodes 31-33

CHU CHU CHU CHU

no, I’m not making train noises

he’s amazing.

i love chu’s stupid hair, I really do. it’s so fun to like, watch move around 

10/10 would date someone with that style ponytail. not the mohawk though, that’s too tall.

better and bigger and BUFFER than I remember damn son

speaking of sons.

soft yusuke

pure, blessed, angel baby yusuke

you’ve realized by now, of course, that I prefer his hair down, but did you ALSO KNOW that i prefer this child is garishly bright coats

no wonder I love napping!yusuke so much and remember these early matches so fondly despite what horrible shit the other kids go through

reminder that they are ALL children

except for rinku. honestly, in retrospect, presumably full-demon rinku is probably older than any of them? 

except for kurama. because. youko.

hiei is somewhere between actually fourteen in human years and like. 300 in demon years, probably.

I feel like kurama, an apparently four tailed fox (I maintain this is a lie, as kitsune can willfully appear to have less tails than they actually possess) is like. four or five hundred human years old at least

koto is a standard kitsune, by the way--transforms into a pretty girl, has one tail in her human form, and is a red fox.

I digress.

chu. chu is an adult. chu is not fourteen, so I can enjoy his shirtlessness without any qualms

koto,  oh my god: “well, they’ve burned their skin, shortened their breath, and somehow lost their shirts. altogether I’d call it a successful fight!”

relatable

they’re laughing, and it’s honestly adorable. 

they’re not hysterical, koto, they’re bonding. 

yusuke used to fight because he had nothing better to do and nothing worth staying out of trouble for, to his perception. maybe he thought it better to get killed in a fight than end up like his mom??? I can’t say

and he certainly never understood keiko’s vested interest in him

he fell in love with that kind of fighting, the carefree brawls where he always came out on top, and used them as a way to prove himself

but now he understands fighting at another level entirely, where his life really is in danger, and the stakes are higher than he’d previously imagined they could be. this isn’t about territory or revenge, he’s been saving lives

and he loves it, and so does this random stranger he’s ended up fighting

of course chu comes back as an ally later

he’s one of the first people yusuke’s ever understood on such a resonant level

thanks for the dramatic preview, kurama, but I really wouldn’t call them perfectly matched

in a fight bewtween two people of equal skill, the bigger one usually wins

or so says anita blake in laughing corpse, a book I havne’t read in ten years lol

so I have a thing for supernatural detectives, sue me

I ran out of ice cream ten episdes and 2 days ago. in retrospect, It hought I was going through these episodes faster than that

knife-edge death match

why is he australian

have I asked that yet, because I’m asking

koenma doens’t like the sound of that but I rmember how this goes and I LOVE IT

shizuru makes a dick measuring joke

watching chu remove his shoes is my new sexuality

btw if you don’t know what ‘toe off your shoes is’ in fanfiction, please watch this sequence because chu does it and yusuke does not

yusuke, I will say again, is a CHILD

yusuke loves the rules of this fight and if it weren’t amanga where he’s not aloud to use the same sort of fight more than once for fear of boring readers, I guarnatee ytou yusuke would do this more often

I can’t believe yusuke and chu are both just standing there in that position waiting with their feet on the sharpened edges of knife blades while the cimmitte decides whether or not a death match is allowed in a death match

yusuke is so small

ominous dark clouds that I missed bc I was typing lol

boys just punch okay

oooh and they even light the fight fo us, interesting

koenma somehow doesn’t recognize someone he knows and has known for years, according to the genkai tournament arc.

yusuke has to reach a lot farther to hit chu

karasu showed up like the little bitch he is

are those tiny eyeglasses on his mask, because if so that is BEYOND STUPID

karasu has a crush on yusuke, I know because his eyes shone and he’s gay

no, I don’t ship it

I could almost ship yusuke and chu though lol

I DO half-ship chu and koto

what the hell, I count them both

ship count: 6/400

kuwabara: I could watch them fight for hours... 

keiko, immediately: I can’t watch them fight anymore!

knowing how this match ends really makes it funny that  the dub, when those plant zombies showed up, had yusuke ask Kurama if he should headbutt them  

shizuru makes an totally unacceptable, but still funny, joke about yusuke having died once already (because they don’t know he pretty much died a second time against rando, and a third time against suzaku)

keiko runs off and shizuru chases her

is this why shizuru meets sakyo? he left his viewing room earlier so I bet it is

I remember shipping them as a kid, let’s see how that goes this time

this is pretty cool actually

she dresses like a first calss gay, honestly

I wishi I could pull that sort of look off

SAKYO hey who guessed he’d show up here , not me

he is beautiful

I actually forgot that this whole time, my favorite fight was going on

I can’t beleive keiko actually got into the fighter’s area and made it onto the field that girl is fucking unstoppable

Keiko, crying: Kuwabara, you have to make them stop fighting!

Kuwabara, clueless: no way, why would I wanna do that?

classic

I read a theory online that kuwabara used to be friends with keiko and yusuke when they were all little, and it has totally changed the way I see it whenever these two interact.

kuwabra genuinely tries to explain this fighter’s mindset to a noncombatant. he is a good, patient boy

yusuke is loving this fight

so is chu

rinku’s internal observations are completely different in the subtitles, saying that chu still has something hidden up his sleeve and it waitinf or the right time to use it, where in english he says that hie wishes the reast of team urameshi had given such a good fight, so rinku could have ‘given his yo-yo a workout’ which is a terrible euphemism for... using his yo yo weapons.

I’m surprised we haven’t gotten more shots of their feet against knives, bleeding

as I went  to type that, we get the first shot of exactly that, as yusuke goes in for his own headbutt to counter chu’s

which was aparently the ‘secret weapon’ rinku meant in the subs

yusuke has beautiful eyes

chu’s head BROKE THE FLOOR

yusuke called chu mate, I dig it

yusuke and kuwabara are cute and gay

oh, they are extra gay when they do sidehugs

I can’t believe that of this whole team only two people are left

yusuke is my hero

he just yelled loudly enough to shup up the entire arena of spectators

“if you idiots got something to say, say it! but say it to my face, or else say it to my fist.” 

that’s a badly written but highly epic and kickass line

I have NO IDEA what chu just said because the audio broke and he has am AUSTRALIAN ACCENT

son of a--

the narrator just fucking punned

yusuke flipped off the toguro kyoudai, and the screen does the dramatic stylized freeze, and the narrator goes, “yusuke may be flippant now”

YOU SUCK

but also it’s a good joke I hate it

where did keiko go during the dramatic pan over the team anyway, she was down there with them.

I rewound and she is Not There.

WHYYYY did they even make Chu say anything??? he doesn’t in the japanese version, there are no subs for him

I really miss the old ED. I love the images for this one, the keiko focus. but. it doesn’t have the same energy. it’s not a jam

now that I thinka bout it, the photograph at the end of that ED could only have been taken in universe on the return trip from the tournament, so I should never have worried that hiei or kurama or kuwabara actually died.

I’m so glad for this arc if only because it’s means all these casual clothes for our cast, and I love that

look how high wasted yusuke’s jeans are, I love it, Ireally do. BOYS , wear high waisted jeans.

during purely internal monolgue, dub yusuke gives a fraction of the information sub yusuke gives by just saying “damn it” instead of “I can’t focus my reiki, why??”

kuwabara’s outside, coincidentally passing by where yusuke is, because hs’ not psychic and ISN’T LOOKING FOR HIM cuz he’s not gay

look, I realize I’m calling yusuke and kuwabara gay a lot. I don’t mean literally gay. 

they are obviously bisexual, or pan, or demi.

I just mean they fall under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, which is in my region frequently shortened to “gay”

Kuwabara immediaetly ruins my theory by straight up admitting to looking for yusuke and wondering why he wasn’t left a note

kuwabara (paraphrased): I wanna have a team meeting

yusuke, a smarty who already knows he ain’t straight: have a meeting with yourself, then. you’ll learn a lot.

kuwabara, who clearly needs more time: what does that mean?

justas I was about to say tha tI couldn’t beleive they just--left genkai in the room alone, we see that genkai is actually stalking her student now that she’s bored of intimadting kuwabara

we just--that’s the ichigaki team

those poor men

those three poor, wonderul men

I remember nothing about those two demon members of the team but now I’m getting flashes of--delaying hiei and kurama?

thank you kurama, you nerd, for bothering to do research on the next team

yusuke, who now trains on his own time even after running out of reiki: why am I so damn tired?

is this. a filler villain? or did togashi really come up with a character who manifests rubgy balls and calls himself rugby

WHY is the dub so far off the sub right now? there’s no lip flap to match!!

this is awful

buys a fucking gymnast

well he lasted for three minutes before getting killed by his own teammate

GENKAI SPEAKS BLESS HER

oh man yusuke thought is was genkai and is now confused as fuck by this young voice amazing

but why the fuck does she sound young, when she hasn’t exerted herself at all that day

she just, fucking tells them about hiei fucking up his arm

baby YOU KNEW you were making that trade, you KNEW

botan looks a lot like sailor moon right now

keiko confimrs that she is aware yusuke has the hots for her, but also that she can see how happy he is here in the tournament

shizuru’s ass is AMAZING

it’s shocking to think neither hiei nor kurama could tell toguro was alive when they were just a room away from him

why are yususke’s eyes glowing

that whole team is huge, how did rugby even make it on that team lol

‘don’t you have a team?’ “of course I do, but they’re extremely lazy” amazing.

I mean, we know they brothers are famous, but it makes so much more sense WHY they are famous--having previously WON the dark tournament

I wouldn’t be opposed to a movie or something about that tournament, honestly. I want to se more of toguro when he was human. 

I wonder how genkai feels weatching him do this

toguro is sort of like an early saitama, if you strip away personality. their drive at this point is similar from what I know of OPM. 

okay so the dub has creepy-possessive implcations thanks to toguro saying (about yusuke) “that boy is reserved for me”. the SUB on the other hand--toguro just says, ‘it’s a bad day to be a large guy, huh?’ which is fucking. amazing. bold. iconic.

yusuke is sitting next to the previous LOVE of toguro’s LIFE, and he doesn’t even notice her. just yusuke. I guess amask really can hide everything?

I’m stunned they aren’t having more trouble  about sittin ght eaudience that was calling for their blood yesterday.

of course yusuke and his friends have to deal with an extra match lol. 

okay but what’s up with this reigun thing. I don’t remember it at all. 

I guess we just really need to see genkai fight.

i do love and admire her a lot.

on the other hand, I do NOT want to see the vs. dr. ichigaki fight. I remember it pretty well I think? and it was just so--upsetting. 

did we uh. ever get a NAME for the younger toguro brother???

[erlangs]

kpop recs

okaaay so i was bored and wanted to procrastinate so i thought why not??? keep in mind that this list isn’t exhaustive and there are probably more recs out there but here are just some of my favorites + why i would rec them!! a lot of the recs are on the popular side of things too but i also tried putting in groups that not everyone know of / listen to already ( i put the more popular groups down the bottom btw ).

day6: day6!!!! day6!!! i got into them like over a year after their debut lmao so i was a lil late but damn am i glad that i started listening to them?? they’re more krock than kpop probably but honestly....pls listen to day6.... a lot of people have been saying that some of their songs feel like anime intros too and i would agree?? like some of their songs would fit v v well into shonen anime intros tbh esp probs like sports anime? ANYWAY, they have a variety of songs like they have different sounds for some of their things but i think they still have a v distinctive day6 feel it’s just a matter of preference which sort of sound you like better? honestly, i would rec all their songs but i think for the purpose of this list my rec for them would be letting go (놓아 놓아 놓아). even without context the music video feels so Raw and Deep too imo but...with context lmao they left a keyboard untouched whenever there are scenes of them playing as a band and that’s bc one of their members left and that always makes me emotional. also, congratulations was their debut and you were beautiful is a continuation of that mv wise which i think is cool af. personal rec though? both tracks from the every day6 march ( how can i say is the title track for that one ). 

dreamcatcher: ok so as i write this they’ve only debuted like a couple of months ago but goddamn i love their concept. here’s a fun fact: they debuted on friday the 13th with a song and mv bearing a horror concept which is??? sick af??? their debut mv chase me basically is about the girls as ghosts haunting this place and it is SO COOL. ofc tho, trigger warning for horror!! i believe that the mv is part of the trilogy, and here is the second part of it called good night. the chase me mv i think is the BEST but i really really love good night as a song too. also !! they have rock sounds which is really cool!! ( also, pls listen to yoohyeon, sua and siyeon covering winner’s really really. )

laboum: MY GIRLS WHO DESERVE SO MUCH. i....honestly don’t even know what to rec for this list just bc i like everything they’ve done?? some i do like more than others though, but i think it also kind of depends on your taste and what you like?? if you like kinda like that cute concept then i would def recommend shooting love?? honestly, i myself am kind of like...picky about cute ish concepts just bc a lot of them seem to blur together but i really like shooting love?? it’s such a fun mv and is such a bop. if you’re here for something slower, though, give fresh adventure a listen. and pls support their latest mv ( as i write this ) hwi hwi which is such a catchy song i’m crying.

loona: they’re doing this thing where they’re releasing info about a member every month this year and they’re letting their members come up with a debut song and mv one by one until all their members are out to public. i think it’s a really cool concept too and they seem really really promising. i would recommend watching each of their individual debut mvs ( hyunjin’s around you is my favorite, but watch them all tbh ) and i still can’t get over how much i love their mv ( not featuring all their members tho as not everyone is “released” yet ) love & live.

pentagon: i....love them??? HONESTLY i have no idea what it is about them that makes me love them so much?? sometimes i’m like pls @ them but i really love them and i think their debut was really Solid too?? it’s an mv called gorilla and it just....really impressed me for a debut mv?? their second title track is called can you feel it and they also they have a super cute mv called pretty pretty lmaooo. in their second ep though ( five senses, with can you feel it as title track ) i really like the song engine!! if you like slower and chiller songs, give beautiful a listen too. the mv isn’t like a Spectacular concept or anything but i just love these boys and how much of cute losers they are.

kard: as i’m writing this they have currently not yet debuted but !! they released three project singles that are all such BOPS HONESTLY. kard is a coed kpop group with some really cool sounds. i’m just gonna list all three project singles here because i def think you should listen to all of them esp bc they’re kind of a trilogy song wise?? their first one is oh nana, followed by don’t recall ( a personal fave ) and their most recent one is called rumor. there are v interesting fan theories about the mvs too, especially for don’t recall.

triple h: they’re a project unit featuring hyuna and pentagon’s hui & e’dawn and their debut is!! really something!! their debut mv is called 365 fresh and holy fuuuck. trigger warning for blood, bruises, violence, murder and suicide, though, so please keep that in mind if you plan on watching. if not, the song in itself is such a Fresh song. i love the entire vibe of their entire 199x ep too.

vixx: kings of dance and vocals, ngl. i swear that they just get better and better and better and every time they have a comeback ever since like chained up they just get even fucking better somehow??? fantasy i really really love too and for the longest time it was my favorite song of theirs but then they recently dropped shangri la which is honestly....quite Something Else. i have admittedly not listened to many of their non title tracks either but i really like black out!!

f(x): i’ll be honest and say that i haven’t really listened to much of f(x) other than their 4 walls era but i love that era?? i love the mv to 4 walls too and i would 10/10 rec it. though honestly pls give the entire album a listen and personally, my favorite song from the album is deja vu.

blackpink: goddamn these girls got popular real quick. honestly one of my fave girl groups though I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and though boombayah i think is officially their debut mv whistle is honestly such a bop and also has a bomb ass music video?? their other two mvs playing with fire and stay are also sick af i just really love them. they got the #aesthetic.

seventeen: i’m just gonna keep this short bc i don’t think i know nearly enough about svt just yet but mansae is suuuch a fun mv imo as a whole group that’s their best mv just because it was really fun?? the song is super catchy too. but give their hip hop unit’s check in a listen too bc it’s Iconic tbh.

bts: they honestly deserve the hype they get?? so much?? you’ve most likely already heard about them but if you’re not into them yet or have yet to listen to a song and don’t know where to start my number one rec is blood, sweat and tears — which is also what got me into them — ( and here’s the japanese ver but keep in mind there are triggers for blood, murder & allusions to drugs, i like to think that the japanese ver is an alternate universe/continuation of the korean one and there are lots of theories on this that you can read up ). althouuugh bst especially the mv would set your standards very high i think?? but honestly....that’s a Must Watch if ur getting into bts. i know that it’s already v popular but it really really deserves the attention it gets imo. BUT the entire wings era is worth listening to and also pls listen to all their solos in the wings album ( my personal favorite is rap monster’s reflection ).

red velvet: probably another name that pops up a lot too and they have a really interesting concept tbh?? they have like this duality where red is like a more playful and fun concept and velvet is more classy and elegant in a way?? dumb dumb is a really fun example of the red concept and be natural for velvet!! russian roulette seems like a hit or miss for people too but i think the song is really cute!!

exo: again, who hasn’t heard of them?? monster was a Hit and deservingly so too. i honestly really really love the entire lotto / ex’act album too and i especially really like can’t bring me down from the album. but honestly, as much as how big of a hit monster ( and some of their other mvs like overdose and call me baby, amongst many others are huge hits too ) was, i think my favorite mv they did was sing for you. boy that made me feel things?? many fans speculate that the mv was kind of a tribute to kris, luhan and tao ( three members who left ) too and that made me even more !!! about it. ALSO ALSO they have a sub unit called exo cbx and i just rec everything cbx does tbh but before they became an official sub unit they did this song as an ost for a kdrama and i LOVE it so much it’s called for you.

got7: another really popular group so imma try not talk too much about them but honestly...i think just right is p much an insight into got7′s personality LMAO aka adorable losers. everyone loves all three of their flight log trilogy eras too but my favorite is the flight log: turbulence era. hard carry is a masterpiece that i keep on coming back to and skyway is my other favorite song on the album, followed by boom x3.

bigbang: i’m not even gonna get into this one because chances are you’ve heard fantastic baby or bang bang bang. listen to anything in their made album, basically. but i’m just gonna leave last dance here it was a Masterpiece.

2ne1: a disbanded group, which is really sad lmao. you’ve probably heard i am the best too but i just wanna rec come back home and falling in love. 2ne1 was what got me into kpop in the first place too and i love them.

soloists: i’m too lazy to link all the mvs and all but look into seo inguk, kim chungha, lim kim, ailee, lee hi, park jimin ( of 15& ), amber liu, kisum, dean, heize and i’m probably missing a lot of people.

[3arzal]

nsfw + daddy kink + dom/sub + jimin in subspace! (pls don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with it!) + i’m gonna dedicate this to @yoonminist bc i love her + a sequel is probably gonna come in later. probably.

it was late.

yoongi promised he'd be home by eight after a dinner meeting with one of his clients, but it's already nine and jimin is impatient. a lot, these days. before he went to work, yoongi also promised jimin a good night tonight, and jimin was running out of patience.

jimin decides that yoongi won't be too angry if he went a head and started without him. although jimin knows his impatience lead him to really surprising circumstances before that included an angry yoongi and sore ass cheeks, he thinks that if it were to happen again, he'll be ready for it.

jimin removes his clothes slowly, staring at his reflection in the mirror because he knows he looks hot when he strips. 

his shirt goes first, on the floor it goes. he plays with his nipples for a bit, whining at the touch because he's so fucking sensitive that tugging at his nubs are already making him wet. his hands glide down slowly to his v-line, rubbing at the skin with a sigh. just as he was tugging his shorts down over his ass, the bedroom door opens. jimin whips his head around hurriedly, hands still hooked over his shorts. 

yoongi looks feral, like he always does when jimin does something without him, but there's a softer look on his face that jimin can't quite decipher. an apology is about to leave his lips when yoongi takes a step forward, slow, calculated steps as he removes his Balmain cufflinks, his eyes raking down jimin's body with poorly-concealed lust. jimin honestly thought that yoongi was going to get naked and join him finally, but he loosens his tie and does nothing more. "impatient now, aren't we princess?" he stops a foot from jimin, hands in his pockets as he commands jimin to fully strip.

jimin does so, feeling a little bit scared because yoongi is never predictable during sex when he's angry. he throws his shorts away, standing up straight with his head ducked low, hands trying to cover his half-hard but leaking cock. "i'm s-sorr--"

"get on the bed and lie down, princess." yoongi commands, smooth and dominant that jimin cannot help but to fucking submit.

he climbs on yoongi's king-sized bed, crawling to the pillows with his pretty ass on display. he turns around carefully, eyes locking with yoongi's as he lies down on the bed, legs barely spread to leave something to the imagination. (not that yoongi doesn't know what's already there)

yoongi stands there for a couple of seconds, just admiring jimin's everything -- his cute pink hair, the mad flush on his cheeks, his thick lips begging to be kissed, his neck waiting to be marked, his barely swollen chest and nipples, his taught stomach, his now hard and leaking cock, his trembling thighs-- "d-daddy, please--"

"what do you want, princess?"

jimin gulps once, licking his lips. "i want daddy to fuck me, it's been so long--"

"i fucked you three days ago, princess." yoongi cuts in.

"b-but you promised me a good night tonight, daddy."

"i did, princess." yoongi admits, slowly walking towards the bed. "but do you wanna know why daddy is late, princess?" jimin nods twice. "my client was late. he was being a total dick, and he wouldn't stop talking so i couldn't hightail out of there." he gets on the bed, scooting beside jimin with his head propped up on one arm, the other one trailing along jimin's chest. "daddy is tired. daddy couldn't fuck you today, princess."

jimin wants to cry because he's been waiting for yoongi's cock all day only to be denied of it now that he's so fucking turned on. he opts for a whine when yoongi tugs at his nipple.

without warning, yoongi latches his lips onto jimin's bared neck, laving at the flesh as his hand travels down to tug at jimin's cock. jimin's moan catches in his throat, thrashing on the bed just a little at the unexpected tug at his cock. "daddy's too tired to fuck you tonight, princess." yoongi whispers in his ear. "but daddy waited for this all day, too." he goes on a languid pace, jerking jimin off as the younger boy squirms on the bed, helpless. "i couldn't wait to touch you." tug. "hold you." tug. "kiss you." 

jimin turns his head, catches yoongi's lips in a wet and filthy kiss. it's more tongue than their lips tangled together, but jimin doesn't complain when yoongi lets him suck on his tongue, knowing full well that jimin's oral fixation is insatiable. jimin breathes after a while, and then he brings his thumb up to his lips, sucking on the finger as yoongi smears his precum down his shaft until it's wet enough for a comfortable slide. jimin is so fucking wet it's not even funny. he's already leaking with just a few of yoongi's carefully mastered ministrations.  

jimin whines around his thumb, eyes closing as the pleasure slowly builds. yoongi continues to suck on the spot behind jimin's ear as he jacks jimin off, slow and steady, building the pleasure just how jimin likes it.

"you this wound up, princess? have you been waiting all day for me?" yoongi's breath is hot in jimin's ear, tickling the younger a little but it's nothing with the pleasure threatening to split himself in half at this point.

jimin moans, loud and raw, his thumb dropping from his mouth when yoongi digs a finger in jimin's slit. "ohhh, daddy--yes! yes! i've been waiting all day, ahh, please--"

yoongi is feeling generous tonight, head dropping from his sore arm, into jimin's neck. he fastens his pace, feeling jimin's orgasm coming with the way jimin's stomach clenches, his thighs tense, his breathing coming out in short pants. "come on, princess, come long and good for daddy."

"ah!" the first spurts of cum are short, and then they're bursting out in thick strings. "oh, oh, oh!" jimin's whole body is tense as yoongi jacks him off through his orgasm.

it always takes jimin a while to come around, staring into the distance as yoongi rubs soothing circles on his chest. a couple of minutes pass when jimin finally calms down, turning around to stare at yoongi with wide, glassy eyes. it's going to take a while before he's out of his subspace, though, but yoongi doesn't mind. he's always adored jimin in his subspace, which is like...all the time. 

jimin noses along yoongi's jaw, wanting to climb on top of yoongi but he doesn't, not wanting to ruin yoongi's suit with his cum messed up all over his stomach. "thank you, daddy."

"mmm," yoongi hums, fingers playing with jimin's bubblegum pink hair. he loves it, thinks it suits jimin better than any hair color he's had in the past.

"but i need to make daddy feel good, too..." jimin suggests, hands carefully clinging onto the hem of yoongi's pants.

"do you, now?" jimin nods, eyes ready, wide and innocent. yoongi thinks he knows what's going to go next, and he's seriously not complaining. "then go for it, princess."