#I haven't used it in months

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Doing research for a conlang

search: indo-european consonant shifts

results: Grimm's law, Grimm's law, nothing but Grimm's law, Germanic languages are the only ones that exist, don't even bother asking about anything else

search: indo-iranian consonant shifts

results: here's a map of Iran, here's ten thousand maps of Iran, and here's a chart of the Persian writing system. How about Indian food near you?

search: proto-indo-european daughter language sound shifts

results: GRIMM'S LAW BABY!!! And here's a map of Eurasia from Wikipedia for your troubles. Fuck you.

I checked; my library district has exactly ZERO books on any of the subjects I'm looking for across 12 branches throughout the entire county. Remember when the internet was the information super highway? I may as well be asking random strangers off the street!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[pinkcrayon]

clearing out my files from the past year. this one was a hit with my friends!

[caffichai]

Mandragora Arknights good ending

She got got better as a person and also physically :)

[sidewalkscienceguy]

[aramblingjay]

#5 times arthur breaks my heart

[latolover]

I like von lycaon but i also like yanderes so here are my thoughts on yan?VonLycaon

Imagine that you work for a company that often collaborates or is close with Victoria Housekeeping Co. and thats how you both met.

Lycaon enjoys your company and admires your work ethics, you're punctual, respectful and very social towards his co-workers. He takes notes on the way you interact with his fellow co-workers, especially how you go the extra mile to bond with the anxious Corin.

Im almost so certain that Lycaon says the most romantic things to you without him even knowing. Have you heard his voice lines??? "Praise me for my loyalty" and "my only desire is to see my Master's wish fulfilled". He would offer you services with discounts specially reserved just for you. Need someone to clean your home? Take care of your pet while you're off-station? Need a hand in meal prepping ? Give him a call!

Lycaon would try to appeal to your gaze physically and emotionally. If you allow him to keep doing favours for you, you'd start to associate him with positivity. Your houseplant? Oh yeah, he recently revived it didn't he! He helped you carry your bags when you went shopping, how about we take a break and immortalise the moment with that photo booth? He never shows it on his face but Lycaon is over the moon about it inside.

Eventually your home will have his scent mixed in it but he wants something physical as a reminder. Lycaon would contact Rina, another member of Victoria Housekeeping to make a doll based on his likeness and shove a few of his fur in the stuffing.

[byemambo]

POND PONLAWIT AS HILL

Fourever You (2024) | 1.01

[territorial-utopia]

Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

[evignonita]

[🔭]: (...) And the stars look very different today. Space Oddity, David Bowie.

V: Dude! Did you see what I saw?

L: Yeah bro, is that a...

P: W-What?! What happened? Guys, tell me. I was installing the telescope!!

L: Sorry bro, you lose it.

Don't worry, Pas, in a few more years you'll see that thing up close.

[frootbyethefoot]

stay curious, stay weird, stay kind

[ID: a digital lineless drawing of mabel pines, dipper pines, stan pines, and ford pines from gravity falls in a pink, blue, and white color palette, all with happy expressions on their faces. the background is pure black with a rainbow in the background. END ID/]

individual characters under the read more! happy pride!

[alkalinetrios]

my first fanart of käärijä! [reference]

[justvanessah]

Spooky season is finally upon us and I'm living for it! Have I already decorated? Hell yes. Have I started my Halloween movie marathons? Also hell yes. Honestly this is the best season to do fun stuff. Spooky movie date nights, going on ghost tours, watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Haunted Houses, carving pumpkins, conjuring spirits... Ok maybe not the last one but yeah, favorite season ever. Best part, all of these can be dates so you are welcome for the ideas. But yeah... Are you a Halloween/Fall person? @hfrpstarters

[bestagons]

What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4 + Familect (article)

[henryvell]

Field sketch of Holy Ebrietas

[patrickztump]

patrick stump appreciation post: feat. pete – 13/∞