#I haven't made a post in years and someone else has probably done this but I just found this out so why not

[newnamed]

[xomakara]

Love In Turbulence

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You're the maid of honor in your best friend's destination wedding, but you are single and feeling depressed about having to attend solo. Stressed and grumpy on the long flight there, you have a few too many drinks and pass out, drooling on the shoulder of your seatmate. When you arrive at the wedding, you are mortified to discover that your handsome seatmate is Yunho, the best man, and you spend the rest of the wedding weekend trying to avoid him. PAIRING | Yunho x Reader GENRE | non-idol!Yunho, wedding season yo, smut with no (maybe a little) plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), vaginal sex, oral sex RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI LENGTH | 4,144 words TAGLIST | -- NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | I got invited to a wedding next year and was kind of, somewhat inspired to write this lol. I think it feels a bit rushed hahaha. Enjoy!

"Jina!" You yanked your best friend, the bride, into the bathroom and locked the door before anyone else came in.

"Are you okay?"

"No! Why didn't I know that we were sitting together?!" You asked her.

She looked at you with a confused look. "Huh?"

"Me and Yunho!" You explained.

"Of course you're sitting at the same table with Yunho. He's Yeosang's best man, just like you’re my maid of honor." She said it as if it made sense to her, but she couldn't figure out why you weren't making any sense either.

"Jina, he's the man I told you that I drooled all over on the plane." You told her the whole story, starting from when you started feeling depressed from being single during take-off, to having one too many drinks and until you woke up later on to find yourself face down on Yunho's shoulder, drooling.

"Oh my god." Jina covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god."

She kept repeating herself over and over again while you finished your story. When you were done, Jina leaned against the sink counter and looked at you with wide eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to know that he was Yeosang's best man?" You groaned. "He's the only one of Yeosang's friends that I haven't met yet."

"So? Who cares? Do you think Yunho will be mad that you drooled on him? If anything he'll probably be flattered."

You rolled your eyes. "There's no way he'll be flattered. Who would be flattered by someone drooling all over them?"

"And you're worried about what he thinks about you? Seriously Y/N, this isn't high school where everyone has the same circle of friends. People come here for weddings alone. You need to start meeting new people or you're going to end up an old maid at this rate." Jina scolded you. "Look, go talk to him."

"I can't do that!" You protested. "I've been running away from him ever since the reception started."

"Why? Because he looks good in a suit? Or maybe because he smells really nice and his voice makes you shiver every time you hear him speak?" Jina teased. "Come on Y/N, don't make this harder than it already is. Talk to him and get this awkward moment over with. I know Yunho. He won't think you're weird, so don't worry about that."

You sighed. "Fine."

After straightening yourself out and silently cursing Jina for making you wear this sexy cocktail dress, you headed towards the table where Yunho sat with the rest of the wedding party. Okay, you had to admit that he was stupidly, insanely hot in a suit. And you also knew that his smoky brown eyes would have caught the attention of most women around him. However, none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was getting past this first conversation with him and praying that it would go smoothly.

When you reached the table, you realized that the only empty seats were beside Yunho, so you went to sit down next to him without even thinking twice about it. As soon as your butt hit the chair, you noticed that Yunho slowly turned his head to face you. You gulped nervously and looked away quickly. This was not happening. Not after everything that happened on the plane. It was too soon. You had to get out of here. Now.

But then, before you could make a move, Yunho moved closer to you and leaned forward to place his left arm around the back of your chair. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your cheeks burning bright red under his intense stare.

What did you say? What did you say?! But then, before you could figure out how to escape this situation, Yunho spoke. "If you're worried about what happened on the plane, don't worry about it."

His voice was smooth and silky like silk. It was almost hypnotic. The last thing you wanted to do was fall under his spell. "Okay," you replied and slowly turned your head to face him. "Thanks."

Yunho nodded and smiled slightly. His eyes scanned your body, lingering on certain parts of you. "You look really beautiful tonight."

You blinked a few times, dumbfounded by his compliment. You stared back at him and realized that he still hadn't let go of your chair. Oh god.

"Are you alright?" He asked you.

"I'm still mentally embarrassed about the whole plane incident." You said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it." Yunho assured you. "Besides, you looked cute sleeping on my shoulder."

"Even with all the drool?" You frowned.

"Yes." Yunho confirmed. "You looked very pretty. Even with all the drool."

The corner of your lips twitched up and you realized that you actually liked hearing those words from him. So you decided to take the conversation further. "Well...I didn't know you were the best man until I saw you standing next to Yeosang earlier today. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to avoid you at all costs."

“Well if it makes you feel better, I didn’t know you were the maid of honor until a few hours ago.” Yunho laughed. “It all makes sense why you kept running when someone tried to introduce us to each other. What made you change your mind?"

"The bride." You mumbled.

Yunho laughed and you couldn't help but smile at his cute chuckle. Damn, he had such a gorgeous laugh. You could listen to it forever.

"I'm sure Jina told Yeosang because they look like they're staring at us nonstop." Yunho said, nudging you gently. "But hey, I'm glad you changed your mind and talked to me. I'm really glad to finally meet you."

Your stomach suddenly churned and butterflies started fluttering inside your chest. Even though you just officially met Yunho a few minutes ago, you were strangely attracted to him. How strange was that? You always thought of yourself as a hopeless romantic, but the feeling that you were currently experiencing right now was something entirely different. And it scared you more than anything.

"Do you want to dance?" Yunho asked, getiing up from his seat.

"And give the newlyweds even more ammo to tease us?" You asked him.

Yunho gave you a soft smile. "It's fine if you don't want to dance with me."

"But I DO want to dance with you." You countered. "I promise I won't make a fool of myself."

"Then come on." Yunho grabbed your hand and pulled you up from your chair. "Let's dance."

You knew he was tall. But you didn't think he was this tall. Sure, you were wearing like four inch heels, but he still towered over you like an oak tree. And when he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, your knees felt weak and shaky. The entire time you were walking, your heart raced faster than ever before. What the hell was wrong with you? How was it possible for someone to make you feel this way within seconds of meeting them?

The dance floor was filled with people of all ages. An upbeat song played in the background, filling the room with music and laughter. You smiled as you watched Jina and Yeosang dancing. They looked so happy. You noticed Seonghwa, Mingi and Jongho, three of the groomsmen, dancing in a corner while the other groomsmen and bridesmaids laughed.

He was so close to you. You could feel Yunho's warmth radiating from his body, causing goosebumps to form all over your skin. Every movement that he made was like poetry to your ears. Every breath he took sounded so perfect. You closed your eyes and listened to his voice wash over you. For a second, you forgot who you were, what you were doing, and who you were talking to. Everything just faded away except for Yunho and his amazing presence.

As the music slowed down and into a romantic melody, Yunho moved his hands closer to your body and slid his right hand around your lower back. You sucked in a sharp breath and pressed yourself against him, enjoying the sensation of his hard muscles against yours. Your heart pounded rapidly and the entire world disappeared except for the two of you. You were falling. Falling into this incredible dream.

"Is this alright?" Yunho whispered into your ear.

"More than alright." You breathed out, still clinging onto him for dear life. "Perfect."

He continued to hold you in his arms, swaying to the tune of the song. His hand stayed low on your back while his other hand held onto your wrist. He never let go of you.

After dancing with Yunho for a while, you excused yourself to use the restroom. On your way to the bathroom, you ran into Jina who was heading towards the restrooms as well. She stopped short and looked at you with a wide grin.

"So...looks like you and Yunho are hitting it off." She teased. "I don't even know why you were so freaked out about him earlier."

You let out a laugh and hugged her. "Thank you, Jina. For pushing me to go talk to him."

"Y/N, you're my best friend. Of course I'm going to push you to do things you're afraid of." Jina explained. "I want you to be just as happy as I am. So I know you two officially just met but what do you think of him? Yeosang and I were saying earlier that you two looked cute together."

"I don't know why..." You bit your bottom lip. "But I'm having all these weird feelings that I've never had with other guys before. Like...a sense of...home."

Jina smiled. "That's good, Y/N. Trust your gut. If something feels right, it probably is. And besides, who says you need to rush things? You should be able to enjoy this special time in your life."

"Yeah, but this isn't supposed to happen." You complained. "How does someone fall in love so fast?"

"They don't." Jina shrugged. "You just meet the person that you're meant to be with and things fall into place naturally."

You let out a small sigh and turned around to walk towards the restroom. "I never asked but did you feel this way about Yeosang?"

Jina laughed. "When I first laid eyes on Yeosang, I knew I was going to marry that man."

You stopped and turned around again. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." Jina grinned widely. "I knew we were meant to be together since the day I met him."

You smiled as well. "Wow. That's awesome."

"Now you understand what I mean about trusting your gut, right?" Jina said, clapping you on the back.

You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye and nodded. "Yeah, I think I get it."

Before you entered the restroom, Jina leaned in close and whispered into your ear, "You'll find him too, Y/N. Don't lose hope."

Once you finished using the restroom, you headed back to where you and Yunho were sitting. He let out a smile when he saw you coming. Your eyes lingered on his lips for a brief moment and then snapped back up to his face. "Did you get lost?" He asked you.

"No." You shook your head and sat down next to him. "I ran into Jina and we talked for a bit."

Yunho laughed. "Let me guess. She asked about us."

"Yep." You replied. "She said that we looked cute together."

"And do you think we look cute together?" He asked, cocking his head at you.

"A little too early to tell." You let out a laugh. "But I'd like to keep this momentum going. Only if you want to, though."

"Of course I want to keep this momentum going." Yunho replied and let out a laugh. "I'm a fan of momentum."

Before you knew it, you found yourself holding his hand. Not because you were drunk or high, but because you genuinely wanted to. Maybe he did awaken a dormant desire deep inside you, or maybe you just wanted to have fun with a cute boy and this was the best opportunity to do so. Whatever the reason was, you were completely okay with it. And surprisingly enough, neither of you let go of each other's hand.

"Mmmm..." You let out a small moan of satisfaction as you snuggled close to Yunho's body.

The air conditioner hummed softly and the windows were tightly shut, blocking out any noise from outside. There wasn't a lot of light in the room; the only source of light came from the moonlight shining through the window. But that wasn't what caught your attention. It was the warmth of his body that surrounded you that caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. You reached out to touch his shoulder and his arm tightened around your waist, preventing you from moving further. He shifted slightly to turn you on your side, wrapping his arm around your body and pulling you closer.

It had been months since Jina's and Yeosang's wedding and here you were, wrapped in Yunho's embrace. You had your first official date a few days after the wedding and it ended in the most intense kiss you had ever experienced in your life. From that moment onwards, your life was flipped upside down and you didn't regret one thing about it.

Your friends were ecstatic that you and Yunho made it exclusively official. Jina and Yeosang even joked that if you two were going to get married in the near future, that they would have to be part of your wedding party. You weren't even thinking of marriage yet. All you wanted was to enjoy your time with him without worrying about making a mistake. And the fact that you could call him 'my boyfriend' was simply icing on the cake.

When Yunho suggested that you stay the night, you jumped at the chance. As much as you loved spending time with him during the day, nothing beat being curled up with him in bed. Being this close to him made you forget everything else in the world.

You closed your eyes and sighed contently. In that moment, nothing mattered except for you and Yunho.

"Y/N?" A soft voice spoke into your ear. "Are you asleep?"

Your eyelids fluttered open and you turned to see Yunho staring at you with adoration. His hair fell into his eyes and his cheeks were rosy red. His smile made your heart skip a beat. God, he was such a beautiful man.

You shook your head, burrowing your face deeper into his chest. "Not anymore."

Yunho chuckled and lightly kissed your forehead. "You're too cute, babe."

"Mmm...keep calling me cute." You pouted playfully.

Yunho wrapped his arm tighter around you and pulled you closer. "Cute. My girlfriend is cute. So precious. Cute, precious, sweet, adorable, perfect, gorgeous, hot, sexy, beautiful. That pretty much covers every adjective there is when describing you."

Your cheeks blushed. "Gosh, Yunho. What will I ever do with you?"

"There's only one answer to that question." Yunho replied and started tracing random patterns on your stomach. "Take care of me."

Your heart skipped a beat as Yunho lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. You leaned forward and cupped his cheek, wanting desperately to deepen the kiss. His mouth was warm and his lips felt so soft against yours. You couldn't help but moan as his tongue slowly brushed against your lips.

Your hands gripped onto his shirt and before you knew it, you were straddling his lap, moaning loudly as he continued kissing your neck. One of his hands ran up and down your thigh while the other caressed your cheek. The intensity between you two grew as the kisses became more heated. You grabbed his face with both hands and crushed your lips against his, giving him full access to explore your mouth. Both of your tongues intertwined and you moaned into his mouth, sending chills throughout your body.

His hands traveled up your legs and you quickly lifted your body off of his, leaving him breathless. "Yunho..." You breathed heavily, running your fingers through his hair.

"What do you want, baby?" He asked with lust-filled eyes.

"I need you." You confessed. "Don't you need me?"

Yunho smiled mischievously. "Every damn minute of the day."

You slid your hand underneath his t-shirt, running your fingers over his stomach. He groaned as your fingers pressed firmly against his skin. He moved his hands to cup your face and pull you in for another kiss. His fingers dug into your hips, pulling you tighter to him. Yunho sat up, tugging his shirt off before grabbing the hem of the t-shirt you borrowed from him and pulled it over your head. He threw it on the floor and admired your naked chest. You licked your lips, breathing heavily as he ran his hands up and down your sides, resting them on your breasts. He pulled your nipples into his fingertips and pinched gently, causing a low moan to escape your throat. He chuckled and planted a firm kiss on your lips.

You rolled over onto your back and pulled him on top of you, wrapping your arms around his neck. He ran his hands over your exposed skin and slowly slid your shorts and panties down your legs. Once you were completely naked, he took off his remaining clothes and lay down next to you, continuing to run his hands over your skin. He traced his fingers across your collarbone, dipping lower until he reached your breasts. You arched your back and grabbed hold of his hair, letting out a loud moan as he circled your nipples with his thumb and forefinger. His fingers pinched your nipple lightly, causing you to arch your back even more.

He licked his lips as he stared hungrily at your naked form. "God, you're so fucking sexy." He muttered under his breath.

Your breathing increased as he explored every inch of your body with his hands. You ran your fingers through his hair and watched as his dark eyes searched for yours. You tilted your head to the side and sucked on your bottom lip as he trailed kisses along your jawline. You closed your eyes and let out a moan as he covered your breast with his mouth, sucking hard on your nipple. Your nails dug into his scalp as he began to trail kisses down your stomach. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at you, waiting for you to tell him whether he should continue.

"Please." You whispered.

Yunho grinned wickedly and buried his face between your legs. You tensed as he ran his tongue along your wet slit, lightly brushing your clit. "Oh god..." You moaned as he placed small kisses all along your pussy, stopping briefly to tease your sensitive nub. You squeezed your thighs together, squeezing his head as his tongue ran along your clit.

He let out a little laugh against your inner thigh. "Babe, you’re going to suffocate me.”

You laughed, reaching out to grab his hair again. “I can’t help it. It feels so good.”

Yunho licked his lips. “Then don’t fight it, baby. Just enjoy the ride.”

You whimpered as he flicked his tongue against your clit, causing you to buck your hips. His mouth wrapped around your clit and suckled gently, causing an explosion of pleasure to flow through your body. You cried out and dug your fingernails into his scalp as you bucked harder and harder against his mouth.

"Yunho!" You cried out, unable to take it anymore.

Yunho removed his mouth from your dripping sex and stared at you with hooded eyes. "Let go, Y/N." He whispered. "Just let go."

With one last thrust of his tongue, you lost control and let out a scream as waves of ecstasy flooded through your entire body. You clutched Yunho's head, crying out as your orgasm exploded inside of you. Yunho continued licking your pussy until your orgasms subsided, kissing you tenderly afterwards. You laid there with your eyes closed, taking deep breaths as your heart slowed down.

Yunho propped himself up on his elbow and placed a soft kiss on your lips. "You okay?”

You nodded and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I am now."

Yunho laid next to you and you couldn’t help but straddle him again, tugging his pants down to free his cock. With one hand wrapped around his cock, you positioned yourself above him, lowering yourself slowly onto him. The way he gripped your ass made you gasp as you lowered yourself, allowing him to enter you. You held onto his shoulders tightly as he filled you up, his hips grinding against yours. You leaned forward and ran your tongue along his neck and shoulder, loving how his muscles tightened around you.

"Can't get over how good you feel inside me." You whispered.

Yunho smiled. "Feels good to be inside you, baby."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, enjoying the feeling of him filling you up. He let out a deep sigh as you rocked your hips back and forth. Every movement sent delicious sensations coursing through your body.

Yunho leaned his head back and closed his eyes, groaning softly. "Fuck, I love it when you ride me like this."

"Yunho." You gasped, biting his lower lip as you rode him faster.

"I know, baby." He whispered, tightening his grip on your waist. "I love watching you ride me. Love how you look so fucking hot riding my dick."

"Oh god..." You whispered as he pinched your nipples. "Please...Yunho...don't stop."

You could feel his cock pulsating inside of you and Yunho couldn't help but flip you over unto your back, pinning you down on the mattress. You bit your lip as he ground his hips into yours, causing another surge of pleasure to rush through your body. His mouth found its way to your breast and he kissed it roughly. He took his time sucking on your nipple, making you squirm beneath him. His teeth scraped against your sensitive skin and you arched your back, gripping his hair tightly as he pleasured your breast.

"You're driving me crazy, baby." He whispered against your skin. "Tell me what you want."

You bit your lip and glanced up at him. "Yunho...please..."

"Tell me what you want, baby." He said, still teasing your nipple with his teeth.

You let out a frustrated groan and dug your nails into his shoulders. "Yunho...fuck me...harder...please..."

He growled and slammed into you hard, burying himself to the hilt. "That's it, babe. Take my cock. Take everything I give you."

Yunho grabbed hold of your hips and pounded into you with every thrust, making you cry out in pleasure. His large hands grabbed onto your waist and held you in place as he pumped you harder and harder. You wrapped your legs around his waist, clutching his body close to yours. He moved his mouth to your ear and placed soft kisses against your earlobe. "God, you feel so fucking good. Feels so damn good."

He kept pounding into you until you felt the pressure build up inside of you. "Yunho...oh god...I'm gonna come!" You cried out as you clamped down on him, milking his cock.

"Fuck! Fuck! !" He yelled, pumping his hips faster as he came inside of you. You cried out as you climaxed with him, your body trembling as you fought to keep your legs still. You clung onto him tightly as he slowly pulled out of you, gasping for air as he collapsed next to you.

Yunho looked down at you with glazed eyes. "That was...one hell of a fuck." He whispered, caressing your cheek with his hand.

You laughed weakly and shook your head. "Mmmhmm."

"Glad I could be of service, ma'am." He teased, stroking your bare hip with his thumb.

"Uh huh." You giggled, running your fingers through his hair. "Anytime."

You snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arm around you. "How'd I ever get so lucky?" He whispered against your temple.

You cuddled closer to him and ran your hand down his chest. "We both know it wasn't luck." You whispered. "This has always been meant to be."

Yunho smiled. "Meant to be. Sounds right to me."

"You know Seonghwa invited us to his wedding..." You looked up at him. "You wanna go?"

"Depends." Yunho gave you a teasing smile. "You gonna drool on me again?"

"Maybe..." You smirked.

Yunho laughed and pulled you into a tight hug. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe."

[kimhargreeves]

A Flashy Act part 2-Buggy x Reader (smut)

Summary: Buggy has decided to question you behind curtains in his private room, which leads you both to share an intimate moment together.

(A/N: The people have spoken and I delivered!! Enjoy this spicy Buggy smut for all you weird clown fuckers like myself. Special thanks to everyone who liked my post! I didn't expect it to become popular in just a day. Anyone enjoy cause this is nasty..or spicy however you want to look at it. A part 3 may be done once I finish the show since I'm on ep 3.)

(Tag list: @pookiesnatcher @alejandro0-0 @ghostlycrystobalove @lenu-i

"Luffy!"

"Don't worry, I got this!" Luffy shouted when Buggy had grabbed me and began to pull me away from the stage, where Luffy was now held. This fucking clown, I swear if he harms that boy. I frowned when the clown began to now pulling me away.

"Quit giving me such a hard time!"

"Hey! What do you think you're doing pulling me into this room-" I was immediately quiet when Buggy grabbed my shoulders dipped me a bit and he unexpectedly began to kiss me.

I started back at him surprised as he lifted me back up on my feet. The first thing I did was slap his across the face and I hid my face.

"I-I'm so sorry! What..why did you-"

Buggy began to chuckle to himself as he held onto the spot I had hit him. His lipstick was smeared around his lips, and it was a bit hard ti tell if I let a mark on his face.

"You're still annoying and hard to please. You haven't changed quite much, (Y/N). Now..Where is my map?!"

I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned closer to look at him. All of the sudden Buggy took a step back and froze.

"Buggy…sorry I don't know what you mean-"

"Ugh I knew it! That damn Shanks probably told you to forget about me. He always does things like this."

I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head. "Shanks you know him?! Wait…" I thought hard and suddenly remembered a certain memory of myself, Shanks and Buggy.

"Now I remember! You took a few punches once when-"

"When a guy threatened to toss you out into the sea." Buggy ended my sentence and sighed.

I started up at the clown and wondered how I had forgotten about him. "We used to hang out didn't we? The three of us."

"Yeah until I was left alone! Shanks returned one day without you, saying how he wanted you to have s nice and decent life, not a pirates one which I thought was bullshit."

"Language." I warn and smirked afterwards.

Buggy sighed and now looked at me up and down. "You really grew up, (Y/N)."

"Flashily I suppose?" I said giving a twirl and giving a wink. "But seriously, did you kidnap us just so you can have the map?"

"That map belongs to me! Not to some prepubescent boy who doesn't know what it's like to be a pirate. Why are you with him anyways?" He asked leaning his back onto the wall and crossing his arms.

"I made a promise to my brother, Shanks. That I would look after him."

"So you're a babysitter then? That's great." Buggy rolled his eyes as he said that and started to take his gloves off. "Really suits your character." He laughed.

I squinted my eyes at him and looked at him from head to know. "Never thought you would go with the whole creepy clown look. You look like you would eat children." I joke.

"I eat others things… I let the whole raw meat thing to my buddy you met back on stage."

Great. So not only are they all supposed to be freaks, but he has a cannibal among them. What else has he been up to for these last couple of years?

"Gross. How many times have you taken advantage of some poor girl..or boy."

"Don't be ridiculous. I would never take advantage of someone if they were against it. And those who accept?"

"Well, let's say we have a pretty good time." He grinned pulling himself back up straight and seeing me fake throwing up.

"Ew.. I did not need that image in my head."

"Don't tell me you're still a virgin! Someone like you? Traveling the sea?!"

I looked around at where he had taken me. Making sure to look well even if it was kinda dark, only a few candles here and there with a vanity mirror and a few makeup scattered around, a small bed with the same lights messily clinging above the room.

"Where's Luffy?"

"Now you're avoiding the question!"

"Just tell me where he is with his ginger girl and broccoli guy!" I said trying me my best to not seem nervous, but really wanting to know if they were safe.

"I'll gladly tell you, once you tell where my map is!" He shouted and seemed to quickly compose himself and curse under his breath.

Buggy dramatically sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Rubber boy is fine, he's entertaining my guests. Other two are with Cabaji."

My eyes looked back at the entrance and worried about the people being held hostage, I even spotted a poor dog with an older man, probably the owner saving the last thing he has, "What about the people?"

"What people?"

"The towns people, you idiot. You have to let them go." I said hoping he'd listen.

Buggy jumped up and began to laugh. "Sure! I'll do it right now, wanna help me?"

I frowned looking at him and was thinking if there's some way I can somehow release some of them. I really need Luffy's help…I decided to be straight and harsh with him.

"No matter how many people you hold captive. You'll never make people love you."

I felt a bit intimidated by his stare when Buggy took steps closer to me and cornered me against the vanity mirror. I looked to the side and felt his stare on me.

"Don't think you'll get a pass out of this, sweetheart. You're doing this so I can let your little friends go." Buggy lowly spoke as he took his ungloved hands and wrapped one around my neck.

"You seriously think that I would take advantage of you?" I question looking back up at him and saw a cold stare on his face.

"I think you're the one wanting to take advantage of me. You want to know where the map is. Well, I won't tell you, because I don't know. Thanks to your bombs I collapsed before I got the chance to see where or who got it."

"And why should I trust you? We don't know each other well." He sang being sarcastic as ever.

"You like playing games don't you? Maybe I can show you that I am telling the truth." I said and smiled.

Buggy frowned and gave me a harsh stare. I reached my hand down to his pants beginning to unbutton the first few buttons. His breathing hitched and I could feel him freeze when I touched him.

"It's been years since I saw you. We were kids..I'm sorry I forgot about you. Shanks only wanted what was best for me-"

Buggy instantly grabbed my wrists making me stop and look back at him when with his other hand he grabbed my face.

"Shanks being selfish as ever. Did he ever wonder what was best for me? He's taken everything from me, and now I have you back." He grinned and now grabbed the back of my head.

He placed his hand under my chin and I could see his blue pupils darken. I closed my eyes when Buggy leaned down to kiss me again. I felt him move my hair aside and leaving quick kisses down my neck and collarbone.

I gripped onto his shirt tight and began to kiss his lips again, ignoring how I would end up stained in his makeup. Quickly it began to deepen with me slipping out a moan when I felt his hands on my stomach and felt his pants getting tighter.

I moaned into the kiss when I felt him begin to get rid of my upper half clothes and began to palm my chest. Buggy's kisses began to lower until he reached down my breasts while his other hand played with my other one. While he was busy I started to reach my hand down to his pants beginning to unbutton the first few buttons. His breathing hitched and I could feel him freeze when I touched him.

"It's been years since I saw you. We were kids..I'm sorry I forgot about you. Shanks only wanted what was best for me-"

Buggy instantly grabbed my wrists making me stop and look back at him when with his other hand he grabbed my face.

"Shanks was being selfish as ever. Did he ever wonder what was best for me? He's taken everything from me, and now I have you back." He grinned and now grabbed the back of my head.

He smiled as he placed his hand under my chin and I could see his blue pupils darken. I shivered when I felt his hands beginning to move lower into my pants, until his fingers started to tease my nub.

My breathing hitched and a moaned almost escaped from my mouth, quickly I covered my mouth which made it seem like it was irritating Buggy. With my mouth still covered I saw him beginning to lower himself down on his knees. Quickly he got rid of my pants quick and slowly pulled down my underwear.

I've never been this exposed to someone. I began to cover myself but Buggy held my hands back and he began to leave a few bits down along my thighs until I saw him begin to part my legs. I leaned my back against the vanity mirror making all the things that were on it fall to the ground.

"You are so beautiful, (Y/N)." I heard Buggy say when he saw me naked before him.

Buggy began to lick his smudged lips and I gasped when he grabbed my thigh and placed it on his shoulder. I threw my head back when I saw stick his tongue out and gave a slow and long lick to my entrance, he followed it with another lick until Buggy was swirling his tongue. I loud moan escaped from mouth when I couldn't hold it it anymore.

His nose would occasionally brush against my clit, causing my body to twitch and strain against him. Buggy's other hand continued to thrust his fingers inside me while he pressed his thumb against my nub. "Buggy..” I moaned lowly. My hand continuing to grab his hair tugging at it slightly, causing him to growl right into my cunt again. "I'm gonna-" I squeezed my eyes shut when he thrusted his fingers faster for me to come.

I began to buck my hips forward and continued to tug onto his blue hair which has been tied up. I squeezed my eyes tights and cried out in pleasure when I felt something build inside of me, and when I finally came, I felt my legs about to give out.

Buggy quickly wiped his messy face and quickly stood up and held me close to him. Holding me so I wouldn't fall.

"Not so fast, sweetheart. It's my turn." I was still coming back to reality when Buggy pushed me down on my knees and I was met with his long and big- "There's no way its gonna fit." I thought looking at him.

"Why don't you use your pretty mouth, (Y/N)?" Buggy hummed slipping his thumb into my mouth before pulling it away. I looked down at him and my entire face got red seeing him completely undressed now. What would people say if they saw me about to fuck a clown.

Suddenly I began to feel nervous as I watched him begin to stroke himself a bit until he began to guide his member closer to my mouth, his other hand running through my hair lovingly.

I did what I suppose I am to do, I opened my mouth sticking my tongue out. Buggy wasted no time and he began to gently fuck my mouth. I hummed when I tasted him and heard him groan above me as I took in more of him and took him out with a pop.

I reached my hands out to pump the rest that couldn't fit in when I took him back again and began to gag when he began to fuck my mouth faster. Buggy gripped my head tight and suddenly pulled be back leaving a string of saliva connected to him. I shrieked when he suddenly began to carry me onto the bed.behind him.

Buggy quickly getting rid of his remaining clothes and grabbed my ankles to part my legs when he got on top of me, his hands gripped my hips as he guided his dick between my folds. I shivered when I felt him toying with me and kept on teasing me before he grabbed himself again and began to slide in.

Both of us moaned when he slid deep inside of me. Buggy cursed a few words and he stayed still for a minute, before he began to thrust into me at a rough pace. He slid deep in me with ease as my juices coated his cock. I moaned out and looked to the side feeling shy again, my breasts bouncing with every hard thrust he did as I felt his fingers rubbing my clit harshly.

Again I felt that familiar sensation returning I clenched around his cock as I interlaced my fingers with Buggy when I felt that snap again and my vision got blurry for a second. I began to feel overstimulation when his hands buried into my hair again until one of his hands reached down my neck. His pace became even rougher and faster, making me come closer to my climax again

"B-Buggy!"

I began to cry when he learned down to whisper dirty things into my ear, his playful self no longer present in the room. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he continued to fuck me. Buggy reached down to rub my clit harshly, making me come again and stain the sheets beneath us. And just when I thought we were done, Buggy flipped me so my stomach would be facing the bed and my back facing him.

Another moan escaped from me when I felt a harsh smack against my ass and felt his hands grab my ass and stretching me to take him in better. At this angle I could feel him closer.

I shut to eyes shut and continued to moan and cry every time he would thrust into me. I bit my lips tight as I felt his harsh thrust inside of me. I reached down myself and stated to circle my finger over my clit, the friction along with this man's rough thrusts making my mind go blank as I rested the side of my face onto the bed.

"Buggy..I-I'm.." I cried out when I felt Buggy holding onto my hips tighter pulling me back against him.

I heard Buggy softly laughing as he watched the faces and moans I made. One last moan and cry came out of me when I came hard. I still felt extremely sensitive when I felt Buggy holding onto me tight until we both gasped, I grasped onto the sheets when I felt forward a bit and felt him getting closer

Buggy gripped onto me tight and moaned close to my ear when he came inside of me. I fell forward and began to shake at what happened. Slowly, Buggy pulled himself out.

I got myself comfortable laying on my side and felt something still slowly dripping out of me. I was too tired to speak or to even look back at the blue haired clown.

Last thing I felt was Buggy rubbing my hips and planting a kiss a quick kiss on my head before I watched him leave the bed. Too tired to question anything, I decided to shut my eyes for a quick nap and felt something warm being placed on top of me.

"(Y/N)! You're safe..where the heck where you?!" Luffy questioned seeing my tired face. "Where you kept locked up? Buggy didn't hurt you did he?!" Luffy grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me.

"Luffy! Now's not the time!" I said not wanting anyone to touch me at how sore I felt. I looked at the young boy and smiled, "…I-I'm fine. None of you got hurt?" I asked genuinely concerned for them.

Though I have no idea what had happened since I had blacked out. I only remember falling asleep and well, waking up alone and pulling away from some curtains and making my way outside of the huge tent. That bastard clown. How dare he leave me.

Everyone of the towns people were set free and thanking Luffy for his help. Everyone genuinely seemed happy and very grateful. That way they know that not every pirates are bad.

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Zoro calmly replied walking past me.

"Kicking the clowns ass was fun. You should've seen it." Nami told me after.

They defeated him then? I sigh and smiled looking at Luffy and pulled his straw hat down and chuckled. There's no way he can't know what happened between that clown and I. That fucking clown will pay if I were to see him again.

I looked over at my friend and smiled at him. "You did great Luffy."

I followed Luffy to the ship and saw him waving at everyone where the ship began to sail. We all got busy and I sat down rethinking what the hell I did back there.

Luffy came over and smiled sitting next to me. "Are you sure you're fine? I swear I heard you crying."

My blood ran cold and I grew pale. I noticed Luffy's worried look and he quickly placed his hand over my forehead.

"Are you sick? Don't tell me you're getting sea sick all of the sudden."

"…Nope. I'm sorry I shouldn't worry you. Nothing happened." I lie straight at his innocent face.

The boy smiled and nodded his head. "If you say so! Let me know if you feel any better."

I nodded my head and saw Luffy run over to the front of the boat. I turned around and spotted Nami and Zoro shaking their heads at me.

[crunchyorochiru]

In honor of the 11th anniversary of EAH, I thought of sharing a WIP from my current animation. However, I realized that I haven't posted it's older, original version from 2 years ago here on tumblr yet, which is weird considering how many times I've mentioned it in other posts, so it's here now!

In a way, the animation (old and current) is a reflection of how I've changed over the years. I made the first half (the part with simple eyes 😶) in my early highschool years, and I made the 2nd half (the part with regular eyes 👁👁) in the later highschool years. The artstyle wasn't consistent, but I enjoyed the process. From where this video ends, I was halfway done, and I probably could've finished if I kept up the pace. But that's not what happened.

I wasn't satisfied with how the vid was looking, especially because I wasn't doing proper lineart, but I didn't want to drop the project. Instead, I decided to work on Brooke's animation rig, which was meant to be in the EAH style, and I got the idea to make the whole project puppet-animated EAH style. My struggle with making Brooke should've been enough to warn me that was a poor idea, but I still spent a year trying to make that happen. I didn't get very far, and by the end of that year, I stopped working on the project.

Eventually, at the start of this year, I decided to pick it back up again with a new goal in mind. I wouldn't be lazy, but I'd also make sure to not spend too much effort to the point of burnout. I would animate using puppets, but it would be in my artstyle, not someone else's. I intend to get this done, and I can't wait to show you guys the final video! Also here's some bits of "development" (if you could call that) behind the animation.

This is my oc Allison in the 3 different versions of the EAH rig, each labeled accordingly.

This is the final base rig, which can turn a full 360 degrees and has decent expression capabilities. The only characters ever put onto this rig were Apple, Allison, and Brooke, because the amount of effort it took for each character's details was too much. Apple alone was a nightmare to rig because of all the layers in her hair, and expressions only worked from the front.

[winxwannabe]

Winx Season 9/Reboot Leaks

Okay here's the tea: earlier today a twitter user by the name of Cataclysm_Power started posting a video they claimed was from the new Winx season/reboot. When pressed for further information, they linked to a telegram chat with what appeared to be assets from Rainbow (17 screenshots/2 videos). After some C-grade internet sleuthing, I am here to give my (worthless and possibly wrong) opinion on which ones I think are real and fake.

A note before we jump in: I'm not posting full images on my blog, because again I do think some of these are real and if the leaker is to be believed, they hacked Rainbow to get them. You can look yourself through the telegram link, or others who've posted them on the Winx Club tag. I also think the leaker themselves is scammy because they've tried charging for Miraculous leaks before. Do NOT give them any money if they ask.

Real: Bloom, Stella, and Icy's asset sheets, Bloom Full Body Pose

A lot of these leaks are 3d modelling assets, and these 3 are the ones I'm totally convinced are real.

The biggest clue of their validity is the bottom banner. All 3 sheets have them, along with the same episode code and notes in Italian. They're all also linked to the same person: Pasqualino Masciulli is Rainbow's 3D modelling supervisor, and has been with the company for at least 9 years. He's done videos on Rainbow's youtube channel as well, using his shortened first name Lino. My main point is that's way too niche for someone to fake just to make some convincing leaks, and it would make sense for the assets to be tied to him.

Likewise, there's a full-body frame post of Bloom with fucking ugliest denim leg warmers credited to a g.riccobono. This is likely Giulio Riccobono, who is listed on Linkedin Italy as a Rainbow employee.

Probably Real: Tecna's asset sheet, Bloom's detailed asset sheet

Both of these are likely real but have weird things about them that make me pause. Bloom's more detailed asset sheet is missing the name, date and episode reference on it, and the notes are in English. Tecna's is missing the bottom banner entirely, and there's some weird cutting around her head that makes it look like someone hastily made a png and stuck it on there.

Unsure: Computer File Tab, MD Concept Photos, Videos

There's a screenshot of a folder with both 2D and 3D assets of all the girls. in the files. I'm not sure if this is from a computer at Rainbow or the hacker's personal folder, so it goes in unsure. I do think most of the assets in it are real - it's low res but the eyes on the 2D sketches are so similar to the ones on Rainbow's newer images of the girls I think they have to be connected.

There are also some full body concept photos for Bloom, Aisha, and Stella. They all look pretty legit (as they're updated version of images we've already seen) but Stella's has other images for 'possible pallets' included. She's the only one with it and the images look like they came from a flash dress-up game, and it gives me pause.

Lastly, the teaser videos of Bloom are probably real based on the outfit, animation and that stupid fucking Bloom shelf being in the background, but I'm placing it in 'unsure' because of the bandicam.com logo burned into the top. If it really came from Rainbow and everything else was downloaded, there was no reason for the hacker to not get the raw file. I think it's real, but I don't know if it came from Rainbow.

Something Ain't Right: Group Shot

What gives me pause in the fully-rendered group shot (even though its shown in the computer file tab) is it shows transformation we haven't seen teased and has a 'Lorem Ipsum' placeholder text. Aisha's hair also looks like it was done with AI - the back of her wings clip through the hair, and parts of it look copy-pasted. I'm stupid, it's the end of her braids. The 'Lorem Ipsum' thing still stands, but I'm re-filing this under 'unsure.'

Probably Fake: Darcy and Damien's asset sheets

I'm showing things from here on out because I'm so convinced it's fake please let me be right. Unlike the other character sheets, the ones for Darcy and 'new character' Damien have no bottom banner, are marked as 'Winx Club Season 9' with an outdated Winx logo, and have notes written completely in English. Darcy's has a bit of 3D modelling, but it's too different from Icy's. Maybe they're super early concepts for Darcy, but Damien...go home, buddy.

You're in the Wrong Place: Rainbow Pants Girl

I'm convinced this girl is from a different show and was saved to the 'Winx Club' folder by accident. Different clothing, hair, and shading. May you end up somewhere better than this reboot, Mystery Girl.

[indig0trolls]

BIRTHDAY ADOPTS GIVEAWAY RAFFLE!

Wow! I haven't done one of these in a long long time, so bear with me, but I've just felt incredibly lucky and grateful that so many of you have been so supportive, in general but especially since the start of the year, that I wanted to give a little something back as a thank you!

And what better occasion than my upcoming birthday!

So without further ado... onto the important parts!

RAFFLE RULES

This is a TOTALLY FREE TO ENTER raffle!

The only requirement to enter? You MUST be following me! (This is a thing to say thank you for all the support and kindness, after all!)

HOW TO ENTER!

Fill Out these forms! -> Warm Dusk -> Just a Little Squirrely

You MAY enter for both designs, but you can only WIN one!

One entry per person! If I catch you entering multiple times, or having someone enter for you... it's the blacklist for you, sorry kid thems the breaks.

On that note. NO! You cannot enter for someone else to give as a gift! I just see that getting really messy and don't want to have to sort that out.

You CANNOT resell/Trade these designs, PERIOD! Why? Well, I made them with the intention of giving them away! It just doesn't feel in the spirit of them if someone tacks on a bunch of art and upsells it later.

If. IF you get to a point where you have the design and you don't want it anymore... Give it away again! Host another raffle or gift it to a friend (with respects to my blacklist ofc).

RAFFLE ENDS ON MY BIRTHDAY,, WHICH IS JULY 23RD, AT 4:00PM EDT.

SO YOU HAVE 3 ISH DAYS TO ENTER!

And will be rolled shortly thereafter! (Probably around 5:30pm edt if we're being honest!)

FULL TOS UNDER CUT

TOS

By entering you will be agreeing to follow these terms as follows. PLEASE make sure you read them in full to understand them.

You MAY change the design/species of any design i’ve made after youve bought it, but you must leave credit with INDIG0TEA for the design, and the design itself must be recognizable.

Gender/sex/etc is ultimately up to the buyer.

You may not resell or trade these designs PERIOD. You did not pay for them, so you may not be paid for them! If you happen to get more art and want to be rid of them... Give them away! Host another raffle! That's it, sorry!

You may not include my designs in resale bundles. Period.

You may not EVER feed ANY of my art into an AI interface of ANY kind.​​​​​​​​

If gift this design, please inform me that it has been gifted so that I may update the TOS to reflect that and so future owners cannot be scammed.

You may not give this design (or any of my designs) to anyone on my blacklist, which is linked below for your convenience. Doing so will result in immediate blacklisting/blocking of your accounts.

You may not ever edit the original artwork(s).

You may not repost the original artwork to deviantart, instagram, or other social media/portfolio sites.

You may not use this design for the creation of license-able media such as (but is not limited to): books, animated shorts/shows, Vtuber/twitch streamer sonas, comics/webcomics, and video games (free or otherwise). If you would like to use this design in anything like this, we can negotiate a one time licensing fee which covers use in all of the above. This can be anywhere form an additional 150-500$ depending on your intended use.

You MAY use your design for any other purpose, so long as you are not profiting financially off of my work nor passing it off as your own.

You are allowed to store it in your deviantart sta.sh, post it to tumblr profiles, or upload it to websites like toyhou.se with proper credit.

However, you may not reupload to toyhou.se, to keep the ownership log intact, and to keep the original tos consistent.

For my personal comfort, you may not delete original listings from toyhou.seand resell it separately. This is again to keep the ownership log intact, and to keep the original tos consistent. If the person you wish to resell it to does not have a toyhou.se, I have plenty of invite codes I can give out as necessary.

Please credit to INDIG0TEA the first time you post art of them to websites other than toyhou.se

Violation of many of these terms will result in permanent blacklisting/banning from buying or owning designs by me in the future.

BLACKLIST

[tartrat]

Concept based on my previous post where i suggested Queen's Killer Queen as a Night Swan and Cygnus duet. i didn't want to make something super detailed so its mainly a sketch with basic colouring, and darkest hour's background

I said in that post that i saw it as taking place sometime around Darkest Hour, so Night Swan has her Leda appearance from there. I didn't know how to make cygnus look younger so i just removed his hat

The poses above would be struck when Freddie Mercury sings "killer" (imagine that Leda's hands are actually in a claw shape here) i probably should've had cygnus point at leda for this instead of into the air, followed by them moving to the opposite side whilst spinning their hands round their faces to "Queen". Lastly at "Gunpowder, Gelatine, Dynamite with a Laser Beam" They'd start doing a marching on the spot motion whilst pointing to the top right and bottom left like in Woof's chorus but more like in the style of a marching band, if you understand what i mean its kinda awkward to explain that motion (theres another map that uses that move in a way thats closer to my description but i can't remember what one it is. I tried to do pictograms in the corner to illustrate what i mean.

During the verses they'd probably have different moves, but i don't know what they would look like. I guess it would sorta be Cygnus acting out certain words and Leda doing more exaggerated movements akin to how she moves in witch. The lighting would probably be darker and the background would probably change location throughout.

Whats funny is that i always envisioned that if they were to do this song that it would be a quartet with three guys fawning over a Killer queen figure. Like it would be the three acting out how she acts wih her mimicking the moves of the one who is currently "speaking", but more exaggerated. The moves that i mentioned above are what i thought would work with this original idea and it just stuck and they're all i can think about when i hear the chorus.

I guess a good way for this hypothetical routine to end would be it turning out to be a memory that Cygnus is having, and him looking ashamed. I definitely do see the relationship that they probably had as sorta romantic, but whether it be romantic or platonic, beggin does make it out that he regrets what he's done and more than likely the time he spent with her. He'd look back on this memory with guilt after seeing what she did during Locked Out Of Heaven and her further plans that come up.

Someone else has definitely suggested this song for the series before, probably during 2017 and 2018 when Don't stop me now and another one bites the dust were relatively new to the series and some were expecting another queen song for 2019, (Though in all the fanmade songlists i've seen on youtube i haven't seen any queen songs mentioned). I'm not sure if i was the first one to suggest this song for these two particular coaches either, maybe someone did last year when Beggin' came out and Sweet Dreams was still believed to be released at some point.

This was just something quick to show what i think it would look like. probably should've made a title card but i might make a more detailed version at some point and include one.

[simplepotatofarmer]

Blog Update:

Hi, it's me, Loyal.

I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.

I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.

I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.

So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.

That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.

I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.

Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.

The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.

And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.

So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.

Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.

To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.

To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.

Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.

My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.

[londondziban]

I'll forever be confused over the writing of Steve's character in season 4. Like, what was the thought process behind the choices that were made for him?

In season 1, he was shown to have a change of behavior, felt remorse for his actions, attempted to apologize to not just Nancy but also Jonathan, and bought a camera for Jonathan to replace the one he had broken. Not only this, but he had turned back around to help Nancy and Jonathan–after having a gun pointed at him and nearly getting eaten by a creature he probably couldn't fully comprehend at the time–despite the fact he was scared shitless cuz, hey, that's his girl in there and a guy he may not know very well but he's not going to let them fight the monster alone.

In season 2, we watched him grieve his relationship with Nancy and form a bond with Dustin and the other kids. Though he was clearly upset about the breakup, he never once truly blamed Nancy for it. We saw him respect not only Nancy's feelings but her choice as well. He knew he wasn't the one she chose, he knew she was struggling and turned to Jonathan. He was heartbroken but he did his best to move forward and keep his mind on the mission at hand.

In season 3, we watch his bond with Dustin develop further and we see him make his first friend that's (close) to his age since he dropped his previous friends in season 1. He was actively looking for a new girl to date and developed feelings for Robin; We were led to believe he'd moved on from Nancy. In this season, though he was fairly removed from the other kids for most of it, we were once again shown he has a selfless nature when it comes to them, even Erica whom he barely knew. We saw that at the end of the day, he's simply a good friend through his instant support of Robin rather than lashing out over the rejection or being flat-out homophobic. He's selfless and loyal to those he cares about. His character in this season was wonderful (not talking about how his injuries were constantly played for laughs though, that's for a future post).

So in season 4...what happened? Yeah, I still loved him because he's Steve and I've become attached to his character over the years. But he just felt so off? I'm glad his friendship with Robin was still there and I loved them together throughout the season. But he's 1. suddenly in love with Nancy again, 2. doesn't seem to respect her actual feelings nor her relationship with Jonathan (because if he did he wouldn't be actively flirting with her and telling her he wants to have kids with her, hello?), 3. he complained about being with the kids despite being shown to deeply care for them over and over again (it could've been a joke of course but it just felt mean spirited when compared to his behaviors in prior seasons. Like he sighed when being paired with Dustin?), and 4. he just felt kind of weird and a little creepy at times.

It felt like they didn't know what to do with him this last season. It felt like all the development he'd gone through suddenly took a left turn and then backtracked out of nowhere. Instead of finding ways to discuss the way season 3 events affected him (and Robin) or maybe showing him form a genuine bond with Eddie (someone else his age that he never would've previously been friends with), they made him a little mean spirited, they made the other characters be meaner to him and treat him as if he's stupid (more than usual), and they made him be in love with Nancy again. They could've done so much with his character that wouldn't have contradicted all of his growth, and yet.

I say this all with good intentions, of course. I love Steve. He was one of my favorites when I first started watching the show. Which is why I was so upset about the way they wrote his character in season 4. He just didn't feel like the Steve I'd loved anymore. Was it a conscious decision? Is there a specific reason behind it we just haven't been shown yet? Or was it just poor writing? I hope whatever is going on with his character is either fixed or simply explained in season 5 (and I'm so excited to see he'll have at least one interaction with Jonathan!). I'm just a little worried they've run out of ideas for his character and are just going to kill him off next season without any explanation as to why his character took the turn it did.

TLDR: I love Steve but the way his character was written in season 4 confused me.

[character-fan19]

MLB Season 5 Character Analysis: "Jubilation"

Introduction

Hey everyone, I'm back with another analysis. If you haven't seen my last post, you can find that here and if you want to see my season 4 character analyses, you can find that here. Basically, in this series, I take a look at the motivations, emotions and behaviours of the relevant characters in every individual episode of season 5, so that we can outline their overall journey bit by bit to figure out why they do what they do.

Today we have "Jubilation". This was quite an emotional episode and made the title pretty ironic, given that if left everyone in-universe and out-of-universe depressed when jubilation is supposed to mean a feeling of great happiness or joy. Most of the meat of this analysis is probably going to be with Ladybug and Cat Noir, since their Jubilation dream is the main focus of the episode, with some minor focus on Mr. Damocles' and Socqueline's desire to be superheroes. So without further ado, let's get into it.

Character POVs

Ladybug

"Monarch... must've altered it somehow, to trick us. Yes, that's got to be it."

Ever since "Strikeback", Ladybug has developed a new appreciation for Cat Noir. Not that she didn't appreciate him before but when Cat Noir showed her the extent of his loyalty and kindness, it caused her to fall in love with him, symbolized by the clap of thunder similar to the one in the "Origins" two-parter during the umbrella scene. Now that has finally come to the forefront in this episode in the form of the Jubilation dream.

At first glance, from seeing Ladybug and Cat Noir's shared Jubilation dream, you'd think it is divided into two parts for each of Ladybug and Cat Noir's deepest desires: defeating Monarch for Ladybug and getting married and settling down with Ladybug for Cat Noir. But from the state of Ladybug upon realizing she was in a dream and her state after getting out, you can tell that she too wanted to be with Cat Noir, but at present is in denial of this because of wanting to put her duty as Ladybug first. Speaking of putting duty before feelings....

2. Cat Noir

"How dare you play with our feelings?? Cataclysm!"

The Jubilation dream affected Cat Noir much worse than it did Ladybug, and being the less emotionally stable of the two, he almost used Cataclysm on him directly out of anger, something he was very horrified to have done last episode.

This showed us just how much his emotions clouded his better judgement, to the point that Ladybug had to remind him not to Cataclysm a person, and Cat Noir realized this too, understanding that his feelings for Ladybug can be used against him and make him do terrible things, therefore causing him to decide that he should give up on his feelings for Ladybug to focus completely on being a superhero and we will see this effect his actions in future episodes.

3. Denis

"It's pointless. It's pointless now."

Moving on to the more minor characters of this episode, we have Denis. or rather Mr. Damocles. This guy wanted to be a superhero which carries on from his first akumatization episode "The Dark Owl". While he was doing this out of good intentions, he was ultimately putting himself in danger, just like in "The Dark Owl" and when Marinette made him come to that realization, it left him deflated. Although after being deakumatized, he seems to be in much better spirits, going back to doing community service to be a superhero.

4. Socqueline

"Yes, but you gotta know when to step in. That's the only way you can change things in life."

Moving onto someone else trying to be a superhero, we have Socqueline, Marinette's school friend from the previous year. She too was attempting to do what Mr. Damocles was doing (much more successfully) and under the belief that pitching in on the superhero business would relieve Ladybug of her duties and hoping to get recognition from her and Cat Noir as we see in her Jubilation dream. Unbeknownst to her though, she was only causing more stress just like Mr. Damocles due to not being equipped with any superpowers to help her. Thankfully, Marinette was able to come through to Socqueline as Ladybug after defeating the Darker Owl.

Conclusion

Well that's that for this episode. Feel free to make your own analyses for this episode and point out anything I may have missed. Until next time!

[scimitar-and-longsword]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @cactusdragon517 almost a month ago lol, I'm slow to get these done.

How many works do you have on ao3? 21

What's your total ao3 word count? 202,835

What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Call of Duty and I'm still hanging around the TOG fandom. But I've hardly posted anything in years lol. Someday when my toddler is a little older I'll get back into posting more.

Top five fics by kudos:

Share Your Address - Fencer!Joe/TA!Nicky College AU - Insta-love. So much texting. Everybody wants to punch Keane.

It Feels Like Flying - Joe/Pilot!Nicky AU - This is porn. Enjoy.

Brothers Fight - Joe & Booker working through their issues post movie.

Everything I Did to Get to You - Sequel to Share Your Address (my top fic by Kudos) - AU - A few years later Joe and Nicky spend the holidays with friends and family.

Collapsing Walls - Book of Nile!!!!! - Established Booker/Nile - Booker and Nile get caught in a building while trying to assist during an earthquake.

Do you respond to comments? Yes!! I try to respond to all comments for at least a few days after I post something.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't write a lot of angsty ENDINGS. I'll Never Love Another (Prince!Joe/Knight!Nicky) has a fuck ton of angst in it, and I know some people thought the ending was bitter sweet bordering on sad.... but idk (spoilers?) no one died and they're together sooooo that's a happy ending in my book lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Gees, idk lol Share Your Address?? It's so sweet you'll get cavities.

Do you get hate on fics? I never have. *knock on wood*

Do you write smut? Hardly ever. I mean I HAVE, and actually the most recent thing I posted was like straight up porn lol. But mostly if there is sex it is only hinted at/fade to black. Or buried in a 60k fic so you have to work for it!

Craziest crossover: Probably Book of Nile + Princess Bride (it's a WIP that I haven't touched in like 3 years *sweats nervously* I swear I will finish all my WIPs EVENTUALLY)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of???

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!! A one shot I did was translated onto a Japanese website that I forget the name of lol. I've also had a podfic made of one of my one shots if that counts.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ashley and I tried at one point lol it was a modern AU DinLuke fic.... it kind of fizzled out eventually. @ashleyrguillory we should look at that again someday lol

All time favorite ship? Obligatory "Just one??!!" ok but idk Charlie/Claire (LOST), Korra/Asami (Legend of Korra) and Derek/Stiles (Teen Wolf) are the most important to me??? I read the most fic for Ghost/Soap, [redacted controversial ship that you could not pay me to reveal #1], and [redacted controversial ship that you could not pay me to reveal #2] lol

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I refuse to give up on any of my WIPS!!! I have 4, and all of them are planned/outlined to the end... I even have multiple completed chapters for two of them. I'm not a quitter... I do take my time though lol

What are your writing strengths? Oh gees... idk someone else who has read my stuff needs to tell me this... I think I've gotten a lot of comments complimenting me on keeping characters true to canon?? idk guys! someone else answer this!

What are your writing weaknesses? I really struggle with action and sex scenes. Where are they? I, the person writing this fic, certainly don't know. (come to think of it this might be part of the reason that I don't write a lot of smut)

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Whatever floats the author's boat.

But I personally have done it a few ways. My favorite to both write and read is just to write what they say and then identify what language is being used if the POV character can understand the language. something like: "Oh no," he shouted in Italian.

OR if the POV character doesn't understand the language I would write something like: Nicky shouted something in what Joe thought was Italian. OR Nicky said something in a language Joe couldn't quite place.

First fandom you wrote in? Supernatural lol

Favorite fic you've written? One????? You're getting 2!

I'll Never Love Another - Prince!Joe/Knight!Nicky AU - SO MUCH LETTER WRITING - This was my Big Bang in 2021, and I love the FUCK out of it. It's my favorite fic I've ever written and I reread it kind of often because of how much I enjoy it lol

Impelled by the Persuasion of Love - Canon verse Joe/Nicky and Andy/Quynh - Takes place in France during the 100 years war. I have an obsession with courtly love/chivalry and figured I should shove it onto our favorite immortals <3 - I wrote this for a TOG zine that came out in early 2021

=== Truly, IDK if I've got 20 people to tag but I'll give it a go!!

@innerslumber, @alloutofgoddesses, @ashleyrguillory, @stevethehairington, @sindirimba, @disregardandfelicity and anybody else who wants to do this, consider this your tag!!!

[aces-spade-palace]

A story for those that need it. (TW for depression, suicide, SH, and abuse talk) Life has gotten insanely better since I was younger. When I first found Tumblr, I was a depressed, suicidal pre-teen. Tumblr actually made my life so much worse. I got into the dark side. The self harm side. I would compare myself to others and wish I could do worse. I would starve myself and now I'm paying the price for it. Now I look back and see how bad it was. At the time I had no idea half of what I was doing needed medical attention. Now I look at my scars (since I worked in healthcare for 6 years) and see that I probably should have gotten stitches for many of the things I did. I had attempted. I had wanted to end it all. That continued through high school and into adult hood. I had wanted to end it so many times. I thought I hated my parents when they were trying to do the best for me. I screamed and cried myself to sleep most nights because I just hated being here. I had 7 therapists in 5 years. One trip to the psych ward. I have been in abusive relationships and friendships. Lied to and cheated on. I made terrible decisions that could have killed me and I didn't give a damn. Up until a few years ago, I had thought I would be better off dead. I was also close-minded. I was an asshole and genuinely just a terrible person. Now, I'm 25. I found that I am an agender, queer being who enjoys pole dancing and theatre. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I am getting married in just a few months. I am working job that I make 50k in without a college degree. I have three cats and we are going to start looking to buy a house after we get married. I am genuinely happy and content with my life. I learned to love myself. Yes, I have my days where I look in the mirror and get dysphoric, I get insecure, but more often that not anymore, I am starting to love myself again. It takes time. A lot of it, but at the end, it is really worth it. YOU do have to put in the work, even if you don't want to, even if you're being forced to, but I promise you that life can be so so worth it. I lived my dream job. I moved out from my parents house and our relationship got better. People have told me they look up to me and that they are proud of me. Yes, boundaries had to be set, my heart had to break on multiple occasions, and I got hurt countless times, but that is a part of healing. The hardest part of it all is doing the things you have to do for yourself. Cutting ties with the people who are genuinely causing you harm, with the things causing you harm, even if you don't realize it. You might feel like you're being selfish, taking care of yourself, but that's because you haven't done that yet. And when I say taking care of yourself, I don't mean go live in the woods in a cabin and hibernate. I mean confronting what is causing you harm. Taking care of your body and mind. Have the difficult conversations, and actually taking steps to improve your wellbeing. No I don't post this to brag, I post it to show that life can change for the better, and it is possible. It just takes work. You got this. My situation is not like everyone else's and I know that. But it is possible to get better, and if no one reads this, that's okay. If only one person reads this and realizes that life can get better, I would be ecstatic. I just want you to know that it is okay to not be okay, and this feeling is temporary. You can do this, and I believe in you. Stay Safe, Stay beautiful, Stay Handsome, Stay Wonderful, and be the best version of you that you can be. You are loved and you are cared for. If you need anything, reach out. I'll be here, and if im not, someone will be here for you.

[system-of-a-feather]

On Trauma and Forgiveness

Before I say ANYTHING else, I absolutely DO NOT advocate for forgiving everyone and all abusers or anything of the sort. If they suck ass, if their harm is still deeply hurting you, if they're a shitty person and/or still continuing to present behaviors that make you feel unsafe, or if you REALLY just do not feel like you can or should forgive them, don't. Trust your gut and instinct. If they give you red flags, either you are not in the mental place where you are ready to process it (totally good, important and okay! Take your time) or they are probably still unhealthy, whether or not you can directly articulate why.

Additionally, this post is mainly about people who were close / important that either you or they fucked up somewhere resulting in tension and/or cutting off.

So above ANYTHING else in this post, if there is someone you refuse to forgive / couldn't imagine forgiving / do not want to forgive, I support you sticking to that. This isn't a "you should forgive everyone" post as much as some insights into forgiveness that I've gotten as I recovered that I didn't understand before when I was someone who held hard grudges and cut people who were close to me off for varying levels of valid to invalid reasons in the past.

But disclaimers aside, back to the topic. Back in the day, while I was more in trauma space and survival mode, I really fucking hated the topic of forgiveness and people discussing it because it always came off as super preachy, out of touch, and very disconnected from the amount of hurt and pain and anger I had towards people.

"My parents ruined my life since before I was born, my middle sister bullied me my entire life and intentionally worsened my neglect. Why should I forgive them? What benefit do they have for me? Why do they DESERVE forgiveness? I'm better off by myself, on my own, living my own free life without these 'weak' attachments to people that have hurt me before. (Note, it is not weak to have attachments to people, I am voicing my own past thoughts on the matter) I'm BETTER than that."

But honestly a friend that I rekindled things with after an honest to god dumb (not entirely invalid in context considering the place in recovery we were at, but pretty dumb in hindsight) that had me thinking about things I value these days in my life as far down with healing and recovery as I've gotten and it made me realize, I forgive a lot of people A LOT these days and I arguably honestly love to forgive people that I've cut myself off from before.

Almost all my MAIN supports - actually I think basically ALL of my main core support system - were people that I had varying levels of valid to invalid reasons (all of which are understandable in the context to the time) to cut off for at least a year each. My best friend / writing partner? Cut him off at least 3 or 4 times. My fiance? AGGRESSIVELY cut him off. My parents? Definitely cut them off at least twice. My middle sister? I went three or four years not talking to. Some of my most trusted friends? Also cut them off. Of course I have new friends that I do not at all intend to cut off and that I hope never really go on sour terms that this whole "forgiveness" talk even has to be relevant; but the people who I would probably trust the most to be there for me in the shittiest moments are all people I had negative experiences with and reconnected and grew from that negative experience with.

And so I was sitting here asking myself, what changed?

And my best answer so far? I think its largely because I am not really in survival mode much anymore. I feel secure, safe and confident in myself and in the present that I can honestly look at the past, acknowledge that it happened, acknowledge that time has passed, and that the person - in the present, in the very moment - has done nothing wrong and there is no reason to assume they haven't grown from what I've seen from them thus far.

Even more importantly, my interests and values in life really aren't anything similar to what they used to be. In the past I valued people that reaffirmed and reinforced my means of survival; I valued people that served a more direct and tangible support to me that I could access regularly; I valued having daily conversations over the casual and passive bonding of just quietly paralleling eachothers lives with occasional cross over and engagements. I valued things that kept me moving, progressed and immediately improved my life and kept me from mentally dying and killing myself over the long term idea, peace, enrichment and happiness of my life.

These days, I want to answer some of my questions that I've learned from the MANY relationships I rekindled

"Why do they DESERVE forgiveness?"

They don't. No one 'deserves' forgiveness (other than maybe you deserving forgiveness from yourself), no one is entitled to your forgiveness. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself and the relationship, but really never for another person. Forgiveness is an act of really letting go of the negative past with someone and opening up to new possibilities in the present and future to let growth resume where it was previously stunted.

Forgiveness is on your terms, regardless of if you are the person in the "wrong" or not (which also is hardly a black and white thing)

"Why should I forgive them? What benefit do they have for me?"

Because its nice to move forward, on and watch things grow from dirt, destruction and hell. It's not something that can be done in all burnt bridges (especially if they were burnt for a damn good reason), but it is really nice to clean up the mental space of dirt and dander and just watch beautiful things grow from previously barren places.

Additionally, I think the most important benefit that is the MOST irreplaceable thing forgiveness has given me is the ability to keep people who share a lot of history with me in my life. Time moves forward and as it does, a lot of the experiences shared in the past go from experiences, to memories, to stories and I find there is only so much Telling I can Tell new people who enter my life before I can no longer recreate, explain or share parts of my life (parts that are undeniable aspects of who I am) with them - at least not to the extent of someone who had been there during the time it occured whether that be for better or worse. That insight and that bonding is something that literally only one person can attest to in the way a person you shared history can and by that very nature, being able to keep and have a healthy and positive relationship with someone with that history is such a invaluable treasure that I am so honored to be able to maintain.

And maintenance doesn't have to be talking every day and going out every day, it can be talking once a month, once a year, but just keeping that door open to cross paths even briefly in life. But having that there is like having another person who can keep the past - good and bad - alive and acknowledged so that you don't really have to be the only person holding onto it anymore. I find it beautiful and healing to see the horrors AND joys of my past live in positive ways around me. It's part of why I've been able to let go of a lot of my childhood trauma within my family (save for one person who was of a different "breed" of trauma). My family is all on good terms with me and we've talked about it, we've held space for it, we acknowledge and understand the past and have laid it out. That past lives not only with me, but with them as well, and there isn't so much of a need for me to really feel as though I have to be the only person to attest to how much that past hurt and how bad that time period was.

It's in the world beyond just me. If I die, other people are there to acknowledge the hurt and damage done from that period. I no longer have to be the only person giving those past experience, memories, and stories the honor and respect they need to feel resolved.

I don't really know HOW to close this off, but I just wanted to share some thoughts on the matter I guess since I had them

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey so... Capcom hates unions, right? If this is the case... I'm kinda wondering if Stephanie even works with them any more.

See, the past couple of years she's been posting stuff on her Instagram stories about strikes and picketing. Not even just with the recent video game VA ones. The SAG-AFTRA stuff. IIRC she even stopped promoting Death Island stuff for a little while there. This is all good, don't get me wrong... all the AI bullshit needs to stop and I'm ecstatic she's being vocal about it.

As far as I've seen, other RE VAs haven't been posting anything about any of that. I could be wrong about this however.

But this could explain why she's been a little more bold with her statements about stuff lately. And when people asked if Claire was going to be in RE9 she said something like, "Oh they're making that?" Like, she maybe legitimately didn't know they were.

Isn't this the reason why they stopped using the last VA for Claire too? Or am I wrong?

Plus, even if she was replaced, we wouldn't know until the next game or movie comes out or is close to coming out since this seems to be the pattern recently.

Again, I'm probably looking too much into this but I just saw someone else talking about Capcom and unions and IDK... got me thinking.

so... this is something that's been lost to time in a game of telephone. it's something i've even been guilty of perpetuating and only just now realized that i fucked up by perpetuating it when i looked it up to refresh myself on what happened.

alyson court came out in 2017 and said that she would not be returning as claire for RE2make and said that capcom had decided to go with non-union actors instead. paul mercier then also came out and backed up her statement -- that he would not be returning as leon. alyson then made a follow-up video stating that this was NOT related to the recent voice actors strike. it was simply about contracting. basically, capcom shopped around until they found actors they liked that were willing to work at a price that capcom was willing to pay. alyson said that it was extremely disappointing that capcom wasn't willing to pay actors a working wage.

but despite alyson's clarifications, the damage had already been done. what was intended as "i was union-protected to ask for a certain amount of money, and capcom wasn't willing to pay it" morphed into "CAPCOM WILL NO LONGER WORK WITH UNION ACTORS."

but that's patently untrue.

because they kept on matt mercer for both vendetta and DI despite him having always been in the union.

capcom also pays top dollar for union actors in devil may cry. reuben langdon (dante), dan southworth (vergil), and johnny young bosch (nero) are all union actors.

hirabayashi has come out and told us that RE2make was built on a very tight budget due to capcom's lack of faith in the project, so it makes sense that they decided to cut costs where they could -- including when it came to voice acting.

so, really, capcom is willing to work with union actors... but only when they see the cost benefit for doing so.

if steph is no longer voicing claire, it won't be because she's in a union. it'll be because capcom doesn't feel she's worth the money anymore.

but her lack of knowledge of RE9 has nothing to do with her still being in capcom's good graces. as far as we know from leaks, claire isn't in RE9. and if claire isn't in RE9, why the fuck would steph know about its existence? game companies don't contact every single main cast actor in a series and update them every single time a new project is underway. only people who are working on the project know about it.

so, unfortunately, the likeliest explanation remains: stephanie panisello is just an asshole.

good question, tho. good ask.

[aster-is-confused]

"tiktok tourrette's," from the perspective of someone who experienced it

i want to talk about "tiktok tourrette's" as someone who was affected by it. almost all of the discussion around this that i've seen hasn't actually involved the people affected by these sudden-onset tics after watching tourrette's creators, likely because most sources dismiss them as attention seekers or fakers. while i know some people may be intentionally faking tics, mine were definitely not intentional, and i'm sure i'm not the only one. so i'm going to share my side of the story.

(this is not to start an argument, engage in discourse, or refute any specific claim. i just want to present my own experience. this means please don't reply to this post with discourse or accusations. also obligatory disclaimer that i'm not a psychologist, neurologist, or any kind of expert on tics. i honestly haven't even done a lot of research on this phenomenon, because the way people with experiences like mine are talked about is awful sometimes, and it's hard for me to read.)

i was pretty much your classic case of "tiktok tourrette's": young adolescent (13-14 years old), assigned female at birth, active on tiktok, poor mental health, self-diagnosed with several disorders (adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, OSDD; i've since recovered from my anxiety/depression and decided not to medically label my plurality), and seeking refuge from my mental health issues during covid lockdown by going online. after maybe a month or two of the tiktok algorithm showing me tourrette's content, i started feeling twitchy every time i saw a video with tics in it, and soon that evolved into involuntary neck twisting, face twitches, and/or simple vocal tics whenever i saw a video or anything else reminded me of tics for whatever reason. it was often worse and more easily triggered when i was stressed, and as time went on i had a more difficult time getting the tics to stop once they'd started. suppressing them felt very similar to how i've heard it described by people with tourrette's, like i could stop it temporarily but it took focus and felt like it was building up in that muscle, and if i failed it would come back stronger.

this continued for probably a year, but i was able to keep it hidden from my family and at school since it almost exclusively happened when i saw someone else ticcing, usually on tiktok. i didn't want attention for it and i didn't want it to get worse, because i knew dealing with tics in public would be a nightmare. however, sometimes they would start to flare up when i was having a severe panic attack. eventually, i learned to quickly scroll past tourrette's content on tiktok, especially in public, because it would just end in a flare up.

my tics hit their worst point when i was hospitalized for mental illness reasons and switched to a new adhd medication, which had the side effect of making my tics worse, and of course the massive stress of hospitalization contributed to it too. i wasn't allowed my phone during this time, and i don't remember anyone around me having tics that would trigger mine, but i still spent a large portion of my stay having tics, especially when i would get overwhelmed with noise. i was put on clonadine (anti-anxiety and anti-tic medication) as needed to help the attacks, but the doctors didn't look further into it at all, which is surprising looking back.

since that hospitalization, my tics have gradually but completely gone away. switching adhd meds again helped significantly, and then it took a few months for my occasional mild tic attacks to stop. since then, it's pretty much like i never had them. as i've been writing this, all this talk of tics has caused a bit of muscle tension and the very occasional neck twitch, but i know 2 years ago i wouldn't have been able to write a post like this without a full flare up, so i've made super significant progress just by not engaging with tourrette's content on social media since i know it can be a trigger.

i decided to write all this up and post it because i've tried to learn more about it, but everywhere you look there's doctors just chalking it up to intentional faking for attention. obviously this may be the cause in some cases, but certainly not all of them. one theory i find believable relates to mirror neurons, but there's just not enough actual research on this issue beyond "here's 2 case studies and my opinion" type of articles and then popular news outlets citing those opinions as facts. we need more involvement from the actual people struggling with this, and we need to believe and support people struggling with sudden-onset tic symptoms.

if you want to hear about other people's experiences with this issue, here is another post i found with similar experiences. i couldn't find any others with the crappy mobile search on tumblr.

if you're experiencing this yourself, try to distance yourself from triggers, whether that's social media or something else, and seek medical attention if you're able to, especially if you have other neurologic symptoms like seizures or new/worsening OCD-like symptoms.

[olderthannetfic]

/728286197798076416/ - this is me. Before tumblr the sites I hung out in are socmed sites that have a friend system and not a follow one. I got a bunch of friends through those sites forums and seeing how some people interact with their mutuals here reminded me of those times so I thought that's how they become "friends" on this site when there's no friend system (and by that I meant like an online acquaintance you'd interact with a lot and not actual friend-friend unless you two actually got close).

It's also just been at least a year since they followed back. I have interacted with their posts with mostly likes and some reblogs (sometimes with added commentary since I like their posts) but aside from a like or two when they followed back, they haven't done anything else. A random follower who hasn't liked or reblogged anything from me even from the start doesn't bother me but I've seen people here make a big deal of being "mutuals" with someone and some of them have made posts about how their mutuals are important to them/their friends which fits how they talk to their other mutuals on posts but doesn't apply to me. It's what confuses and bothers me about why they decide to follow back cause it doesn't make sense based from these stuff.

I read the replies on my original ask and I guess I really just shouldn't think much about this. It's just so strange to me so it bothers me.

--

...

Nonnie, I was there for the whole Livejournal era, starting in 2002 before most of fandom was even on it.

I can say with certainty that calling the following function "friends" led to plenty of wank but no actual increase in how much it meant that you were a friendly acquaintance.

Some people have always used sites this way. Some just follow you because they meant to keep track of your account and go check it later. Did they actually go check it later? Questionable.

Most likely, these people talking about "mutuals" in that manner don't derive the friendship from being mutuals. They follow back people they're already friends with for other reasons. They may also be thinking only of the mutuals who talk to them a lot in ways they find amusing or notable.

One thing we cannot control is whether other people like our writing.

I get more than the usual share of replies. Some commenters stand out to me because I like how they phrase things. It's usually the people who sound like they read a wide variety of genres and as though they have a similar vibe to mine. I'll usually notice the Spanish speakers (if they mention it) because that's of interest to me, but I'll still probably only click with the ones who are pretty good at English in a way that sounds nice to my ear. Honestly, that's hard to quantify because it's different form how native someone's grammar is. I have a bunch of regular rebloggers coming from a variety of languages who are a pleasure to read despite copious grammatical errors because they're funny or sound colloquial despite that or because their content is so interesting. Some people sound stiff or convoluted despite having zero technical errors. (And that's true regardless of native language.)

If I find you painful to read for EFL reasons or bad writing skill reasons or humor that reads as tryhard instead of funny to me or excessive hostility or some other thing, we won't click.

Neither I nor the other person has any significant control over those reactions.

Now, I haven't observed your mutuals and have no idea what kinds of things you guys post, but I have observed a common pattern, both on tumblr and back in the day on LJ, where someone interacts a little but not enough and their comments are okay but nothing special. If the people they're interacting with are busy or already have a zillion friends, sometimes, they just get missed.

I also think performative posts about ~my mutuals~ tend to be hollow bragging about being popular. When they aren't, there's an implicit sense that they're talking about a particular subset of mutuals.

There's not really that much of a contradiction here. You were just taking those posts at face value, and you shouldn't.