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jadeee · 10 months

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Push and Pull

Things were going well with Kento which is exactly why you broke up with him, but he won't let you go... he can't.

Warnings: break-up scene, angst, fluff, 18+ scene (MDNI) Word Count: 3.8k Tagging: @imnotsureaboutwhatimdoing @nanami-s-sunshine @daisynik7 it's here! @majestickitty this is how one fumbles Kento.

It'd been a few months since you met him through a friend and things were going well... too well. You noticed how you'd perk up whenever you saw his name pop up on your phone or how you'd think of him whenever you heard a song or watched a show. Most of all, how hopeful you'd get waiting for a call or text. Once you were even bold enough to reach out first, so that's how you ended up where you are now. Turning down his invite to hang out because you didn't "feel good".

Kento: I can bring you soup. Is it a cold?

You: No, I don't want you to catch wtv this is :( I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days!

You tossed your phone aside then rolled over hoping that would be the end of it; but, of course it wasn't. Kento was eager to spend time with you once you felt well enough and he let you to pick the venue. The air was crisp as you stepped on the autumn leaves. Wisps of the fresh water from the lake filled your nostrils. When you glanced at him, a sudden heat crept up your neck. The sun shone behind his head as if that were it's only job to make him look like a perfect angel. Your golden haired boy, if only you would have him.

"Are you ok?" his voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm good!"

Despite your convincing tone, your body language said otherwise. The nervous smile and hidden hands were enough. Kento looked straight ahead and narrowed his eyes as you filled the dead air by pointing out a nearby bird. Your half-hearted smile was another piece of evidence for him to study later.

That night, you lay in the dark thinking about how you'd do it. Public place. Face-to-face. One sentence. Tomorrow at 7, after he got off work. Your thumbs hovered over his name as you stared at your phone. Your eyes flicked up at his contact picture. The picture you took of him on your third date. The corners of your lips turned downward as you relived the details in your mind's eye. A pit formed in your stomach. After another minute of bring paralyzed by anxiety and her siblings, you lay your phone down and decided to sleep. What you hoped to be a decent night, turned into tossing and turning.

You: Hey, can we meet after you get off work?

Kento: Sure, just tell me when and where.

You stumbled throughout your day. Forgetting steps to the simplest things, putting your orange juice in the cabinet and your spoon in the trash. Now, as you walked up to the door you repeated the script in your head: I really like you, but I can't do this. I'm sorry. You intentionally showed up early, hoping you could steal a few minutes to give yourself a pep talk but you spotted Kento scanning the menu.

When his eyes met yours, a nervous smile crept onto your face while your feet unwillingly led you to him.

"What are you getting?"

"I think I'll get some chamomile tea and a pastry. You?"

"I'm actually not hungry."

He glanced at you, "Oh?"

"I haven't had much of an appetite."

"What's wrong?"

You tried to steady your breathing so you didn't crack under his gaze "I think I just.. I'm thinking too much."

The barista cut him off before he could offer you any comfort, "Next!"

He placed his order then waited for you. You decided to get a drink so you weren't awkwardly looking at him when he enjoyed his own along with his pastry.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, thank you though."

He took note of how your eyes bounced from him to the menu then to the floor. His jaw clenched as he sat across from you. He could've called you out but he wanted to let you speak. You'd been thinking it over, obviously, so you had an idea of what you wanted to say. When you both got your orders, you didn't bother waiting another second. You knew how he hated to waste time and secretly hated yourself for even remembering that when he previously complained about a coworker's disregard for it.

"I really like you..." your hands fiddled with the paper wrapped around your cup as you fought tears.

A hole formed in his chest. It seemed that all the color and life you managed to bring to his face drained instantly. He was devoid of any and everything.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this."

A tear fell and you wiped it from your eye then cast your eyes down at the floor.

"So that's it then?" he bit his tongue in an effort to hold back everything else he wanted to say and ask.

"I'm sorry," was all you managed to get out before the tears took over. Your cup was still full when you walked out of the cafe and so was his.

The body and mind are complicated things — the body wanted to follow but the mind told him to leave you be. So he did what most fools would do. He waited a minute only to get up and see if you were still outside. If he'd only looked down the alley, he would've seen that you didn't even make it to your car since you were crying behind the building.

You scrolled through your texts and pictures, torturing yourself: "Delete?", hover, "Cancel". If you could've said anything to make it better it would've been: You deserve better. Yet, you were being a coward so you deleted the message. Kento was doing the same thing at this moment. Except his unsent message read: How can I make this better?, I want you, Please tell me what I can do differently. However, he wasn't known to pine for anyone so he never sent it. Maybe it could be different but you were being stubborn and adamant about pushing him away, which meant, he should give you space ... right?

Hearing your moans bounce off the walls felt weird. A part of you cringed at how you clutched onto the sheets as the knot in your core tightened — Golden Haired Boy. You suppressed a whimper as you shut your eyes, feeling the nerves at your bud go numb from the force of your vibrator.

"Oh, f-' the toy went silent as you fell from your climax. Your fingers pressed the button once, then twice, and repeatedly when it didn't turn back on. You dropped your head onto your pillow "Fuck."

Sex may have been a priority for you then but food sits at the top of Maslow's pyramid. The low growl of your stomach reminded you of that as you frowned from your unmet satisfaction. You needed food which required grocery shopping, which meant cooking, which you had zero energy for. While standing in the Frozen Meals section, you saw the back of his head in the distance. That familiar pit formed in your stomach as you looked straight ahead at the various bags of pasta in front of you. Without thinking about it any longer, you grabbed the first one within reach then dashed to the registers. You headed for self check out since that was the shortest line and kept an eye out for the next available station.

As you watched like a hawk, you got a whiff of his scent. You glanced back and judging by the soft blush in his cheeks, he didn't expect to see you here either.

Heat crawled from your feet to your head as you thought about what to say or do. Automatically, you wanted to smile at the sight of him but you couldn't ... you shouldn't. He was an ex now.

"Hi."

His face had a stern softness "Hi."

In the next few seconds, you each got a glimpse at the other person's basket. You had your frozen pasta, cookies, and batteries ... how odd, he thought. He only had bread and a bottle of wine, since he drunk the last one with you and never went out to get more.

"Excuse me," a stranger interjected "are you two together?"

You pinched your brows while Kento tried to keep a straight face. "No!" you said, overlapping Kento's "It's complicated."

The stranger looked at you both dumbfounded. "I meant ... for self checkout. Are you two together?"

It felt like your soul dared to leave your body,

"No." you answered before heading over to the next available station.

Of course, with your luck, Kento took a station that just so happened to be next to you. After catching a glimpse of you, he opened his mouth then shut it. His hands placed his items into the brown paper bag then grabbed his receipt. He moved slowly as his brain worked overtime in thinking of what to say, "I'll see you around?"

When your eyes met his, it felt like it should be. Soft, warm, comforting. The pink hue you grew to love and had to part with covered his cheeks. It took everything in you to not smile like a lovesick puppy, so you gave him a nod and a buried smile.

A lump hardened in your throat as he left you for the first time. The sky was gray once you walked to your car. Rain trickled from the sky and you were thankful because no one could see you crying.

Ten minutes. 600 seconds he spent, sipping wine, breaking off bread and his attitude bit by bit as he watched his phone anticipating a text or call from you. He picked up his silent device then set it back down after seeing "No New Notifications".

A sigh fell from his lips as he unlocked his phone, hazel eyes focusing on your name. The wine started to taste sour in his mouth. If only your lips could be his anecdote. His thumbs danced across the screen while he poured his heart out. After reading the sappy paragraph, he made some edits and came up with: I miss you. It was simple but it was the truth. He hit send then stared at his phone, waiting for a response.

It wasn't like the movies. You weren't crying over a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream, because the market was all out, but also because you were lying in bed. Of course, you were thinking of him the whole time. How his hands would feel, what he'd be saying to you and his lips on your skin. You buried your face into your pillow and let out a medley of noises. You were so lost in your own needy state, you didn't see the text from Kento.

It'd been an hour and he still hadn't heard back from you. The half empty bottle of wine stared back at him. He bit his lip as he looked at the message he sent earlier. His thumb tapped away at the screen: Can we at least talk about this like adults?

His stomach grumbled. The bread wasn't enough and he meant to get more but he couldn't force himself to walk down the freezer aisle when he saw you, so he made a beeline for checkout where he ironically bumped into you anyway. He didn't like ordering takeout but he'd rather hide in his home than risk running into you right now.

You turned onto your back and panted into the stale air of your place, trembling from the fading feeling of your orgasm. Out of habit, you checked your phone even though you were suddenly tired. Your eyes blurred at the sight of Kento's name in your notifications. Surely, you were dreaming.

When you woke from your somewhat peaceful slumber, your eyes landed on the mountain of clothes piling in the corner. It could be considered the accent piece of your hectic home. Wrappers were littered around your room, along with a few plastic bottles and trinkets intentionally misplaced. In an attempt to ignore your responsibilities, you checked your phone. A blank expression stared into your eyes as you tried to power it on again.

Left without an alternative, you placed it on the charger then climbed out of bed. After a few minutes, your place started to look like a home again and not a hole of heartbreak. It wasn't until you started to hum in the shower that you realized you hadn't spoken all morning. You chuckled at the thought only for your smile to fade when you realized the song you were humming was one Kento recommended.

You tugged your clothes onto your body as if they were the reason for your sour mood. DING! your phone came back to life. Your heart jumped to your throat when you read:

I miss you.

Can we at least talk about this like adults?

Your thumbs moved back and forth before clumsily typing out: Sorry I missed this. I was busy last nigh— you shook your head as you deleted the text.

He wasn't prone to hangovers but he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a thing now. Kento took some aspirin along with his morning shower. When that didn't do, he drank some tea to ease his headache and heart.

DING! his ears perked up: I'm sorry about the late response. I went to bed without checking my phone last night and missed this. I want to explain but I can't... you should be with someone better.

A mixed state of shock and confusion painted his face: I don't want anyone else.

The sounds of his smooth and steady voice filled every inch of you when you read his text. Tears stung the corners of your eyes until you let them flow.

Intermission is known as a waiting period between act one and act two but you asked yourself, what happens next? Days went by. You were operating from second nature. Constantly fluctuating between autopilot and the bare minimum. You wanted to go out yesterday but every little thing overwhelmed you. Glances and low conversation between strangers made your palms sweat. Today seemed better though so you got dressed and headed to a new bookstore that recently opened up.

The smell of the pages calmed you as you walked in. Only a few people were there and your shoulders eased as you explored the shop. You were scanning the spines of nonfiction books when you bumped into someone.

"I'm s-" your face dropped when you turned around.

The wide hazel eyes softened at the sight of you "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

An awkward silence eased its way between the two of you then.

"... are you following me?"

"No," Kento's brows pinched "I get what this looks like but I can assure you I'm not. I've been meaning to come here but haven't had the time until today."

"Plus, it's Sunday so there's less people."

He nodded in agreement then studied your face before speaking again.

"Please, don't."

"I don't mean to pry, I just want to understand."

"Kento, please."

He had a look of disappointment on his face but that changed when he noticed you tearing up.

"I can't," you wiped your nose which stated to run "I can't do this and I swear it's not you. You're perfect," your half-hearted chuckle made the corner of his lip turn up.

"I... you need to be with somebody else."

"But I want you."

The longer you looked at him, the tighter your chest felt. As if you were trying to cage all the love and affection you had for him. Your eyes fell to the floor and you made a small noise which caught in your throat. He reached out for you then frowned slightly when you stepped back.

"I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," you wiped your face "I should go." you stormed off without allowing him to get another word in.

Tears filled his eyes as he glanced at the nonfiction books sitting on the shelf. Love's Bite was staring back at him, a black spine with bold white letters. He blinked back tears then moved to towards the back of the shop so he could be alone.

Kento didn't want to be that guy but he didn't know what else to do. He tried reading, cooking, watching tv, talking with friends, doing a puzzle, and he still thought of you. So that's how he ended up in the gym on a Tuesday night lifting weights. If his limbs were burning maybe he'd think about the pain and not your face. Truth be told, your face flashed across his mind when he did push ups. It was a double edged sword. The thought of you under him made him sweat. The soft pants from doing pushups morphed into something primal at the image.

Five days... was that too long, you asked yourself while swaying side to side with a basket in your hands. A carefully curated collection of his favorite things and that which reminded you of him. After a moment of silence, you knocked on the door again. When no one responded, you cursed under your breath.

Kento slowed to a stop when he made it to his floor. He watched you scratch your head and mutter something to yourself. Though his face was placid, his heart beat ten times faster. The cold metal from his key heated up in his hands, "Yes?"

"Kento, hi."

Within that brief moment, your eyes scanned him from top to bottom. The jacket hanging over his arms along with the hard crease in the dips of his shirt indicated that it was a rough day. His cheeks burned as he hoped you'd ask him about it. His mind was filled with notebooks full of things he'd been dying to tell you. Questions he wanted to ask in hopes of getting to know you more. Quips he wanted to share just so you could laugh and say "that's so corny".

"I brought you this," you held out the basket "as an apology. I also wanted to talk if you have time."

"Of course."

When he stepped in front of you to open the door, your eyes glanced at his undercut. You tried to compose yourself when he turned around and gestured for you to go in first.

He noticed how you hesitated to take off your shoes and make yourself comfortable.

"I have some extra slippers if you want those."

"I'm okay, I'm just a little nervous." you placed your shoes next to his.

"Why?"

"I'm just afraid you'll hate me after I say what I have to say."

"I could never hate you."

"You're just saying that."

"I'm serious," he placed the basket you gifted him onto the table then walked toward the kitchen.

"I'll be right there. Do you want a drink?"

"Just water, please."

You fiddled with your hands until he came back with your cup. The both of you took a seat and sipped from your cups. It didn't occur to you that he was waiting for you to speak until you found yourself just staring at him.

"Right, I should at least give you an explanation. I really do like you... a lot. Which is why I wanted to break up. I could tell that my feelings for you were real and it scared me because... well," you looked off as if the answer would appear in thin air, like something from a script or teleprompter. "I find it hard to believe that you'd really like me as I am. I feel like I'm not good enough for you and I don't want you to be disappointed later on."

You blinked away at incoming tears when you heard the truth being spilled from your heart.

"You're good enough for me." he answered in a simple tone.

"Kento—"

"Darling, if this is what you really want, I'll respect it but know that I'll always choose you."

You tried to steady your breath after hearing his words. It was hard for you to compose yourself long enough to speak.

"What do you want?" seeing you were still speechless, he walked over to comfort you. "If you really want me to leave, just tell me and I will."

The eerie silence threatened to loom over you, but you decided to stop thinking for once and simply speak.

"I want you to call me darling again ... and again. I want to hold hands and kiss. I want to walk in the park and dance in the kitchen at 1 a.m.," a smile broke through as you locked eyes with him, "I want to be with you."

Your mouth twisted as you tried to hold back tears but it didn't work. The caged animal known as your heart finally roamed free. Kento held you close to his chest, his warmth enveloped you like a blanket.

"That's it then. We'll walk in the park and talk until midnight and do whatever else you want to do, my love." he kissed the top of your head.

"You don't have to change for me by the way. I'd prefer you don't."

You wiped your face "What?"

"I like you as you are."

"... I like you too," you buried your face in his chest "have you been working out?"

Kento's singed, "Yes."

You chuckled "Was this part of your plan to get me back?"

He laughed lightly at the half-truth "Maybe."

Epilogue:

The air was warm, not only because the heater was on, but because that's what you two had cultivated over the past year: a warm home. Granted, you spent the last few weeks perusing houses available in the area, without much luck, yet you had each other and that was enough.

"You won't believe how cold it is outside!" you shucked off your shoes then wiggled your toes in your socks. "Hey, don't you work tomorrow? If you do, you should wear your coat."

As you went on with the Mother Hen act, you glanced around the apartment and pouted when you didn't see him.

"Kento, sweetheart?" your hands hooked your jacket onto the coat rack then you sauntered around the space.

You nearly jumped out of your body when he appeared out of the hallway. He took you in his arms and kissed you without saying a word. The smell of amber and citrus wrapped itself around you with each second you spent in his embrace. His thumbs caressed your cheeks. The warmth of his hands brought your cold body back to life.

"Welcome home."

The sound of his voice saying those words made your heart melt. You placed your hands over his then rested your head on his chest. His heart beat steadily as he held you close to him.

Author's Note: I love this pairing. He loves you. You love him. It's simple and as it should be. It took me forever to get this out but I'm glad I waited. I actually, really, really like this... a lot.

#dividers by @cottage-writings & @saradika #madebyjade #kento nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk nanami kento x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujustu kaisen

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fallinforerling · 2 years

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LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. PART 6 - jb

A/N: I enjoyed SO much writing this, you have no idea. I hope all you love it was much as I did. See you next update! Also, I strongly recommed to listen to the song right when I marked it :) Makes it all better. AND, this is the last part without Jude in it, so prepare!

ೃ⁀➷ series/jude's taglist : ̗̀➛ my other taglists

: ̗̀➛ REQUESTS ARE OPEN !

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˛ * 。° 。 •˚.・。.・゜✭・.⋆·˚ ༘ .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・

“You can't keep going like this, honey” Mia said after you calmed down and allowed yourself to tell the whole phone call at your pace. “You need to get out of this city for a couple of days, clear your mind, go no phone and then come back to your normal life.”

“Mia's right. I haven't seen you this stressed and emotionally drained... ever. This isn't you. I won't allow one of my best friends to lose herself to a breakup.” Nikki said, giving you your second cup of tea of the morning.

“I know...” You didn't have the energy to think about anything else other than how much your life had changed in so little time. “But where can I go? What you guys have in mind sounds like a spiritual retirement.”

“Well... I know someone who owns a very nice cabin in Scotland...” Nikki shrugged when both you and Mia raised your eyebrows, questioning once again what was that about. “I make a lot of friends, okay?”

“We know” Mia shortly laughed, directing her full attention back to you. “So, what do you say? Does a week in Scotland sound like a bad or a good idea?”

“At this point?” You said, pointing at yourself: you had a cover over your shoulders, a cup of tea in your hands, and a puffy face thanks to all the crying. “Anything is better than this”

“You drink that, I'll make some calls” At this point, Nikki's phone seemed to have all the wonders of the world inside of it.

“One day, I'll be able to figure out how she does all of this,” Mia whispered, grabbing your cup. “Do you want something to eat?”

“Soup?” Besides the anger and sadness that came back with force, the three of you were still hungover. You felt like your head was about to explode from all the pressure.

“You got it”

While she was in the kitchen and Nikki was out on the balcony doing who knows what, you allowed yourself to go back to your room. Your phone was now charging on the night stand. Better to keep ignoring it.

The room was still messy, and even though you really wanted to go back to bed, cleaning seemed like a better option to keep your mind occupied.

The clothes were all dirty so you instantly dropped them inside your basket, reminding yourself to wash them later. Then you made sure all of the other things were at their place before making the bed. The bathroom was the nastiest part (lots of makeup wipes, cotton pads full of micellar water and a wet sink) but you cleaned it all faster than expected.

When you came back to the bedroom, you noticed your phone was buzzing again. It sure wasn't IG, since you silenced it. You came closer, relieved and concerned when you saw Jobe's name on the screen.

“Please God, some peace...” You said before picking up. “Hey?”

“Hey! Uh, I don't want to be, like, intrusive or anything but... Do you know what's going on with Jude?"

“Uhm... Be more specific.” Because you could think of a hundred+ things going on with that man right now.

“He's throwing a tantrum… I mean, not like a toddler type of tantrum, but he's fuming! He asked me for my phone and didn't want to say what for. I said no, of course, and then he got even worse. He's saying something about needing some way to communicate…” His voice became a whisper. “Would I be wrong assuming that is definitely something about you?”

You let out a sigh, feeling drained. Again.

“Yeah, it's about me” You sat on your vanity, rubbing your eyes. “Look, I went out yesterday with some friends and I happened to run into Gio… We took a photo and then some stupid people filmed us dancing. It went a bit viral, I think. I don't really know. Jude saw it and called me all morning until I picked up after waking up. He was asking me why I was with Gio and why I didn't tell him”

“That's insane, mate. What the fuck, he has no right to do that”

“I know! Well, he was calling to question me. It seems like some people are assuming that I'm Gio's girlfriend. I don't know if it's about his man ego getting hurt by me being mistaken for his teammate's girl or what, but I don't want to know anything else about it. So I blocked him.”

“Well, fuck me! His audacity has me speechless…”

“I don't want this to turn into a big thing. Just... Let him throw his little tantrum, he's going back to Dortmund in a few days anyways. He has to forget about it”

“You sound like the one that broke up with him, that's so funny” He laughed quietly, probably not wanting to call the attention of his brother. “Okay, I'll try to keep him on track”

“Thanks... And, Jobe?” You said, feeling more than grateful for having him.

“Yeah?”

“I won't have my phone this week, so don't get worried if you don't hear from me, okay?”

“Okay… Uh, I know this is stupid to ask, but are you still coming to my match? I'll understand if you don't. It's completely understandable with all that's happening”

A part of you wanted to say no, but it was Jobe. It wasn't fair to do that to him. Maybe Jude wasn't going to attend. You were praying for that.

“Of course I'll go. I promised you, and you know how much I want to see you play”

“Thank you” You could tell he was happy about you saying yes. “Talk to you in a week, then?”

“One hundred percent”

After the call ended, you just sat there. Jobe was like your little brother, and maybe his actual brother was the biggest asshole you'd ever known, but that didn't mean you were about to run away from everything that had to do with him.

You weren't a coward. Hopefully.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

song recommendation: cardigan - taylor swift

Leaving your phone at the bottom of your bag and not paying any attention to it was easier than expected. Nikki managed to book flights to Glasgow that same night, and while they were gone to make their bags, you stayed to clean up a little bit more the whole apartment. You were leaving for a week. You noticed that it was the first time that you did your bags in months where your destiny wasn’t Dortmund.

You grabbed comfy clothes, your laptop and tablet (you still worked from home), and some shower products. Most of your skincare was in the bathroom, but some were in the vanity. While looking for some travel-sized ones, you stumbled across a particular box in the bottom drawer.

It was blue, medium-sized and simple. Your hand flew directly to your neck, where a necklace rested comfortably. The jade stone was cold, as cold as you felt. You didn’t even realized you were still wearing it, but of course, you never took it off since the day it was gifted to you.

Since Jude gifted it to you.

You thought about taking it off, but you stopped mid-way. You didn’t feel ready to do something like that just yet. That necklace alone meant so much to you.

The way he gave it to you wasn’t absurdly romantic, but rather sweet. It was familiar. You were laying in bed, just looking at each other; then he got up and grabbed the little box from his closet. He said he saw it and immediately thought of you; of how well it went with your skin tone and than he was sorry for not giving it to you in a more romantic way. You loved it from the moment you saw it. You used to feel so happy when you remembered it was hanging from your neck.

Now all you feel is a deeply nostalgic feeling that makes the skin around the pendant burn.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Nikki's friend was kind enough to lend you a beautiful cabin in the woods for the week. He (or she, you weren't even sure of their gender) even sent a butler to pick you up from the airport and drive you around town so you could buy groceries. The drive to the cabin, he said, was almost two hours, but the whole scenario- the woods, the lake, the little animals running around- made it easier for all of you to not care about that. It was perfect.

The cabin was even better. It wasn’t exaggeratedly large, so you wouldn’t be bumping into each other the entire time but neither separated if didn't want to, which was good. You needed the space to think and heal alone, even if you loved the company of your friends.

The first two days were just you hanging around the house, making food, taking walks around the woods- Mia even discovered a tiny lake near the cabin, and lots of bonfires. It felt therapeutic to not know what was going on in the real world outside that cabin surrounded by kilometers of trees.

You don’t remember the last time you enjoyed nature and being (partially) alone this much. You also spent a lot of time alone in the woods or by the lake; you allowed yourself to cry, to mourn Jude, to blame him and then forgiving him. You didn’t forgave him for how much you were suffering the breakup, not just yet, that was still fresh. But you forgave him for breaking up with you, he had all the right to that.

You remembered all the good times you had together, the bad ones, the regular ones. It was a normal relationship even if you didn’t get to post his face on your social media, or if your dates had to be more private than normal people were used to. You loved him. You still did, even if you hated the idea of being weak because of your love.

And then, after all those days that you used to go through all the stages of a breakup, something you didn’t allow yourself to do the past three weeks, you were ready to let him go. To accept that your boyfriend, the one that loved you and appeared to be your soulmate, died the night he broked your heart. And that was okay.

So on the last afternoon before the butler came back for the three of you, you took a final walk through the woods and into the lake, and like physically detaching Jude from your heart, you took off the necklace and throwed it into the water.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss @mbapbaesluvr | @erensfavgirly | @cinderellawithashoe @yoitsmo07

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unpredictable-probabilities · 5 days

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Azul Ashengrotto of Royal Sword Academy || Chapter 29: Song and Slumber

Summary:

After a long day touring the different Halloween booths and watching a movie with the Shrouds, Azul, Rielle, and Floyd go with Jamil to Scarabia to rest for the night.

Word Count: 4,015

Notes (more at the end):

For Day 7 of AshenViper Week 2024!

Prompt: Song

"The movie wasn't even THAT scary," Floyd says with a shrug as they continue to walk along the grounds of Ignihyde. "That innkeeper guy kinda reminds me of Jade, though. He'd totally let that Pumpkin Guy roam free, too. In fact, he'd prolly be the one to enchant it in the first place."

"I don't think I'm very fond of horror movies," Rielle says, looking a little queasy.

"Aww, it's okay, Flame Tetra! I'll protect ya!" Floyd wraps his arms around Rielle and snuggles his cheek against his red hair.

Rielle laughs as Floyd insists on continuing to hug him even as they walk. "Well, I'm happy you enjoyed the movie," he gives Floyd a quick kiss on the cheek.

"If anything like the Pumpkin Knight ever tries to get to ya, I'm killin' it first."

"Floyd is a whole horror monster of his own, to be perfectly honest." Jamil jokes. "So I can believe it. What about the movie unsettled you, though?" he asks the prince.

"They did all that hard work, and in the end it was for nothing," Rielle frowns. "What was the point? And I did not care for all that gore either."

"The royal palace is far removed from the dangerous areas underwater," Azul explains to Jamil. "I don't think Rielle has ever even seen a sea creature bigger than he is, so he's not as tough as the rest of us," he teases Rielle.

"Hey!" Rielle complains, but there isn't much bite to it.

"It's kind of a reflection of reality in some ways. Sometimes, things just turn out that way," Jamil attempts to explain. "These stories help us study different what-if scenarios and tap into our fears while we're in a safe environment, so… I'm sure for people like Azul and Floyd, it must've felt like a walk in the park since it's all happening behind a screen compared to their daily lives back at the Coral Sea."

"Our hometown's not THAT scary,” Floyd repeats the sentiment. “It's real boring most of the time," he adds, but he gives Rielle a reassuring squeeze.

"Easy for you to say..." Jamil rolls his eyes.

"Besides, what's so scary about a living plant?" The tall eel then pauses, thinking about something before he leans forward to curiously gaze into Rielle's eyes. "Hey, Flame Tetra... If I got turned into a lil' monster seed when I die, would you plant me?"

"I will," Rielle grins at him, and Floyd gasps happily. "Would you plant me?"

"Obviously!" Floyd looks offended that it’s even a question. "I'd plant you as many times as you want!"

Azul looks at the couple in fond amusement before turning to Jamil. "Are you sure it's alright for all of us to sleep in Scarabia?"

"Of course," Jamil nods. "I think the other dorm members are looking forward to seeing you again. Also, you've got as much access to the showers as you need, whether it's mine or the public ones."

"Oh, thank you," Azul says as they near the Hall of Mirrors. "Where would we be sleeping?"

"At the lounge, if you guys don't mind the open air. We've got carpets and pillows prepared." Jamil glances over at Azul. "How are you feeling? We had a pretty eventful day today. If you feel faint at any point, you can tell me, all right?"

This takes Rielle's attention, and he turns around to give his friend a once-over. "Oh yeah. You haven't been pushing yourself, have you?"

"No, don't worry," Azul shakes his head reassuringly. "How about you, though? Have you been alright?"

"Yes," Rielle smiles. "Floyd has been a good host."

"Heh-heh, of course," Floyd drapes an arm over Rielle. "I'm good at everythin'."

"I'm happy the two of you continue to get along well," Azul says fondly. Then he turns to Jamil. "I don't think I'd mind sleeping in the open air, though I'd never tried it before. Is it normal for Scarabia residents to sleep in the lounge?"

"Sometimes. We mostly do it whenever we're preparing for a big event or crunching up late hours for a test, and Halloween Week's definitely big enough to warrant lounge naps. Do you guys not do the same in your school? Your dorm?" Jamil glances at Floyd for the last one.

"Man, I wish!" Floyd huffs. "It'd be fun to see the guppies squirm if I suggested that. Don't think it's very likely to happen, though."

"We do that back at RSA," Azul nods. "Particularly during exam season or when there are events to prepare for. The committee a few years back had started it; there's a lounge area spacious enough to accommodate many students, and there are fresh pillows and sheets set aside specifically for those nights." He turns to Floyd. "Why do you think it's unlikely for your dorm?"

"They like to keep to themselves there, I dunno," Floyd wrinkles his nose.

"They like to keep to themselves away from the Leech twins as much as they can, more like," Jamil clarifies.

"Oh well…" Floyd shrugs, not bothered in the least. "They'd be boring sleepover buddies anyway, and who needs them when we already got the both of you!" He slings an arm over Azul and Rielle's shoulder. "By the way, we're not tucking in early, right? We should totally do something!”

"Our visitors need a break, Floyd," Jamil sighs. "And with another busy day ahead, you and I could use one, too.”

Floyd clicks his tongue in disappointment.

"We'll keep visiting here, don't worry," Rielle assures Floyd.

"Indeed," Azul adds. "For tonight I think we should all get some rest. You have Halloween duties tomorrow, and Rielle and I have to go back to RSA."

Jamil notices that Rielle falls silent at that and looks away.

After a moment's pause, Floyd rests his chin on top of Rielle's head, embracing him from behind. "Flame Tetra doesn't wanna go back, though. Does he really have to?"

"Yes, we don't have permission to stay here for longer, and we can't just keep calling Headmage Ambrose and telling him we'd postpone our return," Azul looks at Rielle pointedly. "Isn't that right, Rielle?"

"What's yer Headmage gonna do? Drag him back to RSA?" Floyd frowns.

That's when Rielle sighs and pats Floyd's arms. "Azul's right. Future visits wouldn't exactly go well if our Headmage grew upset with us. It's no big deal, and I'll be fine…"

"If you say so," the eel merman mutters. "But if anybody or anything needs squeezin', I'm your guy. Don't care if it's the Headmage or your dad."

Rielle manages a smile. “Thank you, Floyd.”

They exit Ignihyde’s portal and land in the Hall of Mirrors.

A few students are there getting back to their respective dorms; several glances are thrown their way, quick looks at the RSA uniforms before turning away again.

Jamil paid them no heed, knowing that getting seen with Azul would be more beneficial if it was to guarantee no one else was going to make any moves towards him.

They arrive at Scarabia, and after showering and changing into fresh clothes and gathering the beddings, they head to the lounge.

Several of the Scarabia students wave at Azul in greeting and gawk at Floyd and Rielle in shock.

At some point, they run into Orfeo—the one who threw a sandwich at Azul when he first visited—and he freezes at the sight of them.

"Ah! Prefect! And..." He stares at the rest of the group with wide eyes. "Oh, er, I'll get out of your way." He speedwalks away from them.

“Can I help with preparing anything?” Azul asks as the other residents set up their sleeping areas around the lounge.

"You can help place them out,”Jamil gestures over to the other students laying their blankets and pillows down. “In the meantime, I'll get us some extras. Be right back."

"Mister Azul!" Immediately, as soon as Jamil left the room, Gossipmonger and the others swarmed around Azul. "You're really here! Is it true you and the Prefect are dating now?"

"A-Are you friends with er… him as well?" Convo-Hopper nervously gestures at Floyd.

"Who's the redhead?"

“Oh, hello,” Azul greets them. “Floyd and Rielle are my former classmates from middle school, and yes we’re all friends. And, um…” he feels his face warm. He clears his throat. “Yes, Jamil and I are dating now,” he hopes his smile still looks dignified.

A few people from among the crowd squeal.

"About time!" Gossipmonger exclaims, crossing his arms. "Welcome to the Scarabia family, sir!"

"Wow, it looks like you've made quite a name for yourself here. I'm jealous," Rielle pleasantly remarks, before turning to them. "How was Halloween Week for you guys so far?"

"It's busy, but it's been going well," Quicksands replies. "The turnout for this year is massive compared to the last. Guess this is what having a cute cat posing for MagiCam gets you."

"It wasn't the cat, it was the ghosts!"

"But we've always had ghosts and they never attracted the crowd to us!"

As they start bickering and chatting amongst themselves, they resume work in setting their sleeping arrangements.

"Hey, Mister Azul," Quicksands pipe up, an enthusiastic sparkle in his eye. "I hope you know what's gonna happen to you if you ever do anything to hurt our Prefect!"

Azul smiles at the reminder of how protective Jamil’s residents are of him. “Oh, I do. I’ve seen your traps. And for what it’s worth, you have my word that I will never do anything to intentionally hurt Jamil. By the way, what’s your name? I feel a little bad that I’m going to be spending the night here and I still don’t know your names,” he says apologetically.

Quicksands shrugs. "Don't feel bad. The fact that you don't know our names is a conscious choice of ours. Can't be too careful, yanno? With that said... The people around here call me Jem."

“Thank you for trusting me with your name, Jem,” Azul says amiably. “And we appreciate you allowing us into your dorm.”

“Indeed,” Rielle adds. “Especially with how spontaneous our arrival is. Floyd has been telling me how much he’s been wanting to go here—” he turns and sees that the eel merman has walked off and is currently at one of the sleeping areas, poking the pillows and looking at the weaved patterns on the blankets. The resident who had set up the area is standing awkwardly to the side, looking unsure about what to do. “Ah, I better go there and make sure there won't be any trouble,” he smiles sheepishly and goes to Floyd.

Azul smiles in amusement before turning back to Jem. “I’m… admittedly surprised at how supportive you guys are of Jamil and I, considering I’m from RSA.”

"Maybe we would've had a problem but… the Autumn Dance helped smooth some things over," Jem explains. "Besides, you make our Prefect way happier. And nicer in these past few weeks. So who are we to complain? As a piece of friendly advice, keep an eye out on your visits here. We stopped setting them up so much, but there are still a few booby traps left over. Most of them are for intruders from the other dorms, but we've also been having a few wayward guests sneak in these days, too."

Azul frowns. Jamil hadn’t mentioned anything like that. “Wayward guests? For Halloween Week? They’ve been trespassing?”

Jem nods, frowning. "Yeah, some real daredevils who think all of NRC is open for exploration. We can't do much to 'em since they're regular civilians, but…" He shrugs, smiling. "Not our fault if they just happen to sink into some loose patches of sand here and there, no?"

Azul chuckles. “What do you do after those unfortunate accidents, then? How do the trespassers get free?”

"We save them out of the kindness of our hearts, of course!" Jem says with feigned sincerity, placing a hand on his chest. "Anyway, don't you worry about us. We got those kinds of visitors under control here. Now come help me spread out this sheet."

Eventually, the beddings get made, Jamil returns with more blankets and pillows and the night progresses as the boys drink some refreshments and get ready for bed. The Scarabia Prefect watches all of his members settle down and turns off all the lamps before he sits next to Azul, the twinkling night sky their only illumination now.

“Did you know that some of the guests had been trespassing here lately?” Azul quietly tells Jamil in concern, his eyebrows furrowed.

Jamil tenses up beside him in surprise. "This is the first I’m hearing about it. Guests from the Halloween event?"

Azul nods, still looking serious. “Jem told me earlier. I don’t think anyone got harmed, and there doesn’t seem to be any property damage.” His tone is reassuring, but the crease on his forehead tells Jamil that something’s bothering him.|

Jamil feels just as unsettled. "I should probably set a barrier up around Scarabia for the rest of the week if this keeps up. Who knows who could invade our privacy? Worse, who knows what my residents will do to those intruders?"

Azul nods, then lets out a breath. He turns away to look forward, running a hand through his hair. “I’d kept you for too long,” he says quietly so as to not bother the residents who are trying to sleep. “You’ve been away from your dorm for two days because of me. If I had gone back to RSA sooner, you could have known about the trespassers earlier, perhaps even prevented them from getting close in the first place.”

"Whoa, hey," Jamil says, alarmed at the direction the conversation has taken. "None of this is your fault, Azul. I… erm…" He glances around to see if anyone's eavesdropping. "I was the one who wanted you to stay, so if anyone is to blame here, it should be me."

Azul looks at him and gives a small smile. “How about we just blame those trespassers? They’re the real ones at fault here, anyway. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help in dealing with them.”

Relieved, Jamil nods. "We should bring this up to the Halloween Committee tomorrow when they're having their meeting. We'll be able to take real solid measures, then. But anyway, that's something we can deal with in the morning. You really okay with sleeping here? It's not exactly the same level of fancy as your room in RSA."

“Of course, the mats and pillows are comfortable,” Azul says. Then he leans a little closer and lowers his voice, a mischievous smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Though I wouldn’t mind us sleeping in my room next time.”

Jamil shares his amusement. "Guess that'll make us even should that happen." He realizes then that they'll be sleeping as a couple together for the first time and he holds the other's gaze, suddenly feeling shy knowing that a part of him wants to hold him close while another doesn't want to be ogled at by the others so much.

Azul notices his change in expression and furrows his eyebrows. “Are you alright?” he asks in concern. “Was that too forward?”

"No, I'm fine," Jamil mumbles, untangling the braids in his hair. "I was just wondering... Are you okay with this? Sleeping here, in a room filled with strangers?" He notices that Azul’s eyes linger on his braids for a moment before looking away.

“Ah, well…” Azul adjusts his glasses. “You suggested it, and I’m alright with whatever sleeping accommodations you can provide for us, especially since this sleepover was spontaneous. I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Jamil squints at him. "But are you comfortable with it?"

“... Admittedly I think I’ll be more comfortable if there weren’t so many people who could watch us sleep,” Azul smiles sheepishly. “But if you’d prefer to sleep here then I’m alright with it.”

Jamil goes quiet.

Shouldn't their first night sleeping together with their feelings out in the open be special?

He takes a conspiratorial glance around the room, before he whispers: "We can always do this some other time. What say we wait for them all to sleep and then we can head back to my room for the evening?"

A smile curves Azul’s lips. “Sounds good to me. What if some residents of yours decide to pull all-nighters?”

Jamil sucked in a breath between his teeth. "I'll think of something." He didn’t grow up learning how to sneak around and be quiet for nothing.

He starts to lie down, waiting for Azul to do the same.

“Thank you for today,” Azul says softly as he lies down and turns to Jamil. “It was fun to see all the different booths, and be rewarded with candy afterwards,” he adds in amusement.

"I'm glad," Jamil mutters, heart fluttering at the close distance between them. Discreetly, under the covers, his hand takes Azul's. "Today was… nice. I'm happy you stayed, and that you're here now."

"I'm glad to be here," Azul strokes his thumb on the back of Jamil's hand. "I wasn't expecting any of this to happen when I decided to visit you. Needless to say, I'm happy with how things turned out." He smiles softly and holds Jamil's gaze.

"Here's to many more visits for the days to come," Jamil says.

An hour or so passes, time that felt like the blink of an eye as they lay there chatting and chuckling. When he feels certain that everyone around them has quieted down, Jamil slowly sits up and begins to sneakily lead Azul to his room.

"Do we wake up early and sneak back out there before they realize we left?" Azul asks as Jamil closes his bedroom door behind them.

"Let them wonder all they want. We can tell them we went out for an early morning stroll," Jamil shrugs, sitting on the bed before hugging Azul and resting his head on his shoulder, sighing in relief at the comfortable solace washing over them.

Azul's arms wrap around him, pulling him close.

"How are you?" Azul asks as he strokes Jamil's back. "Still feeling well after all the activity today? Your fever doesn't seem to have come back so that's good."

"Never better, though you might be catching it now that I think about it… considering our excursion last night." Jamil’s face warms a little at the memory of them making out in a closet in Octavinelle.

"Ah… Well, it was worth it. And we weren't exactly worried about such things last night."

Jamil chuckles. "No. No, we weren't. And if you get sick, I'll take care of you. I'll see to it that you'll get better again before you know it. More importantly, what about you? What with that whole Dark Mirror business.”

Azul is silent for a moment. "I'm alright. I'm still mostly confused about what the Dark Mirror said, but…" he hugs Jamil tighter. "For now I'm just happy to be with you."

"And you don't gotta worry. Whatever that artifact means, it changes nothing for me, okay?" He retracts away from the embrace and lightly tugs Azul to lie down with him onto the sheets, feeling significantly more relaxed in the privacy of his room. Subsequently, the fatigue easily finds its way into his bones and he yawns. "When do you have to go back again..?"

"Some time tomorrow," Azul says softly, tucking Jamil's hair behind his ear. "But I'll visit again within this week. I'll still be performing, after all."

Ah, right.

"Do I get special boyfriend privileges in knowing what you'll be performing?" Jamil asks. "What's got you keeping it as a secret?"

"I wanted to surprise you," Azul runs his thumb across Jamil's cheekbone before resting his hand on Jamil's waist. "But if you wish to know then I’d be happy to tell you," he says fondly and considers for a moment. "Hmm, are you familiar with the legend of the Opera Ghost?"

Jamil perks up from his drowsiness in interest. "The Opera Ghost? What's that about?"

"There's a legend from the Shaftlands about an opera house that was supposedly haunted," Azul begins. "But the 'ghost' was really just a genius architect and musician. He was able to create hidden doors that allowed him to seemingly disappear. I became interested in the story because it had a lot of musical aspects."

"And you're going to perform as him? Is he known for singing songs?" Jamil asks, trying to picture Azul in such a get-up.

Azul nods. "Despite his fearsome reputation, he was known for having a voice beautiful enough to earn him the nickname 'Angel of Music'. It's quite the high standard to live up to, so I need to catch up on practice. Not that I'm hoping to reach his level, of course. It's just fun to sing the songs from the musical adaptation that they made of it."

"You're going to do just fine," Jamil reassures him. "I already know it. And I'm definitely looking forward to the performance now. Thanks for telling me. I'd like to see that musical someday. I don't know too many. Do you like them?"

"I do," Azul says with a smile. "Sound travels differently underwater and here on land, and I like listening to and creating music, both back at home and here. The music sounds different, but it's still pleasant. I'd love to watch a musical with you someday."

Jamil grins at Azul's enthusiasm. "Any recommendations for a musical newbie like me?"

Azul hums thoughtfully. "What genres of music do you prefer?"

"Hm… I don't have much of a preference, though I do tend to play hip-hop or indie rock whenever I put on some tunes to relax."

"There are several musicals with songs in those genres, usually those set in school or a residential neighborhood. They have upbeat dance numbers as well, which is always so impressive to me."

"That sounds worth looking into," Jamil nods, settling back down onto the pillow. "I'm gonna be holdin' you to that… Um… Would you mind if I fall asleep hugging you, or..?"

The faintest hint of a blush colors Azul's cheeks, and he smiles softly. "Of course I wouldn't mind, darling. I'd like to hug you as well, if that's alright."

Jamil feels himself flush at the endearment and he burrows close enough to Azul’s chest so Azul can't see his flustered look. "Yeah… I don't mind if it's you."

Azul wraps his arms around Jamil.

"Get as much rest as you need," he says softly. "Don't worry about anything else for tonight."

"You too…" Jamil mumbles. Then a thought occurs to him. “Um, is it okay if…” the words die in his throat. His drowsiness is making him more talkative, but apparently not brave enough to actually finish his sentences.

“What is it?” Azul asks softly.

“Can you… sing?” Jamil’s voice is a bit muffled from being so close to Azul. “It’s just that we talked about you performing and I remembered how it’s been a while since I heard you sing and… yeah.”

Azul’s embrace tightens around him affectionately. “Of course.”

Azul hums a few notes before starting, his voice soft and soothing.

Let me see the world with clouds Take me to the world Out where I can push through crowds Take me to the world A world of skies That’s bursting with surprise To open up my eyes for joy Take me to the world that's real Show me how it's done Teach me how to laugh, to feel Move me to the sun Just hold my hand whenever we arrive Take me to a world where I can be alive

Before Jamil could fall asleep entirely from the comfort brought on by Azul’s singing and the warmth of his body against him, he angles his head upwards to press a chaste kiss on Azul's chin, then he snuggles back into position as he feels himself slipping into deep slumber.

Notes:

The song that Azul sings to Jamil is "Take Me to the World" from the musical Evening Primrose~

<- Chapter 28

(AshenViper Week 2024 Masterpost)

(Masterlist)

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randomfoggytiger · 9 months

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Fannish Year Review (2023)

Thank you to @amplifyme and @frogsmulder for tagging me!

1. Your main fandom of the year: The X-Files (always); but also the Duchovny fandom. It was a fun ride the entire year. And the late bloomer was Beauty and the Beast 1987-- thank you, amplifyme, for roping me in. ;))

2. Your favorite film this year: The Tv Set. (For an approximation of my taste, see Random Harvest, Arsenic and Old Lace, Empire of the Sun, Fools Rush In, Good Will Hunting, and An Ideal Husband.)

3. Your favorite book this year: I read four? books this year; and I to hand favorite book to The Evil Men Do by Michaud.

4. Your favorite album or song this year: Don't listen to music much; buuuut I always get sucked down by this very specific version of Rush E.

5. Your favorite TV shows this year: The X-Files, Beauty and the Beast 1987, The Last of Us.

6. Your favorite Tumblr community this year: I only participate in fandom fandom for txf and DD; but I did enjoy amplifyme's BATB posts as well.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: Beauty and the Best 1987.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: For me? Strangely, the Barbie movie. Glad everyone else vibed with it-- seemed like a fun time~. The excitement and fun and memes were wonderful, regardless.

9. Your TV/movie boyfriend of the year: The boyfriendification phenomenon ended for me in middle school when I realized I crushed on people who were simply a version of myself or a trait I aspired to attain (this was in middle school, I believe.) Haven't felt that way since. :DD

10. Your TV/movie girlfriend of the year: Previous answer applies; but that's boring so I'll add--

Scully tied with Diana Bennett but for different reasons. Scully because her fashion-- sleek, professional, simple-- is my style incarnate; but more importantly, her beautiful (hand model's) manicures finally got me to notice and take care of my own nails (more). Diana because she wasn't afraid of other people or how they perceived her. I also admire both of their work ethics, their body language, and the individual ways they talk.

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year: I squee over "real" people, e.g. my mutuals and their creativity and good days, DD's successes this year and his family hanging out and looking happy, making people laugh in the tags or sending asks that reinforces their value to the community or to me an individual, etc. Moments that we can come together as internet friends or irl strangers or even anons and enjoy whatever relationship we have in the moment, no matter if it changes, waxes or wanes. Because I have faith in the good ones; and I'm content knowing they're living life and either enjoying or working towards peace.

Tagging (if you haven't already): @baronessblixen, @welsharcher, @agent-troi, @suitablyaggrieved, @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure, @perpetually-weirdening, @aloysiavirgata, @cecilysass, @spidey-is-tired, @wexleresque, @tofuttim, @slippinmickeys, @virtie333, @writingwell, @ibringyouasong89, @lilydalexf, @settle-down-frohike, @nachosncheezies, @television-overload, @numinousmysteries, @rosedyl, @sonictacocat, @stephy-gold, @oohnotvery, @two-microscopes, @teenie-xf, @enigmaticdrblockhead, @enigmaticxxbee, @gabby-msr, @cyb3rpeach, @demon-fetal-harvest, @ragnarockz, and whoever else wants~.

#Fannish Year Review #2023 #me #tried to keep this short #that's what I'm going to do next year! keep my posts short #I do love to ramble; but who has the time to read it all?#and that's just fine with me. Will probably save me from nonexistent hand cramps~ ;)))

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s0nia246 · 7 months

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volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Inochi ni Kirawarete Iru 0:57 ————|——— -2:10

┗━━━7:00am ━━━┛

As the soft glow of the computer screen illuminated the dark room, Kanade's fingers danced effortlessly across the keyboard. The rhythmic sound of keys being pressed filled the otherwise quiet space as she busily typed away, completely engrossed in her work. With each stroke, words and ideas flowed from her mind to the screen, the cursor blinking expectantly as she continued to pour her thoughts into the digital realm. Lost in the world of technology, she was completely in her element, a modern-day wordsmith creating magic with every keystroke.

Kanade’s eyes flitted up briefly towards the clock before returning to their steady pace. She didn’t need an alarm or a clock to tell her that time was passing at a snail's pace. Every moment spent lost in her own little world felt like one long second. This type of productivity was all too rare for her to enjoy it without feeling guilty about it. It wasn't a bad thing. She knew deep down. She needed this time to relax and think of all the wonderful things that were about to happen in the coming days. The excitement of new projects she could get started on was the best antidote.

Maybe I should take a break," Kanade said quietly to herself, pushing away from the desk to stretch. "I should eat, then take a quick nap."

She pushed her chair back from the computer with one foot, stretching out her arms above her head and letting her muscles crack. A satisfying moan escaped her lips, and she tilted her head back slightly, closing her eyes in contentment. She was tired, but not so tired that she couldn't continue working. Her body was still wired to move around, after all. It just took longer than normal.

Her stomach growled softly. It was loud enough for Kanade to hear it echo across the bedroom.

Groaning, she rubbed her hand over her belly, willing it to stop growling.

"I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday morning."That thought made her frown.

Yesterday morning.

Right.

She was so focused on composing ideas last night. She had forgotten to eat something other than a protein bar before she began her project, which was probably why she hadn't gotten any sleep. Kanade closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with one finger, releasing a sigh. Maybe Ms. Mochizuki left her something to eat when she stopped by,but she couldn't be bothered to check. Too busy. There were too many thoughts whirling through her head. The words were like a swarm of insects, trying to reach her brain at once. But it wasn't hard to find the perfect word or the right way to phrase a sentence. Even if the words got caught in the static, that was her brain.

"Raman... Raman..." Kanade hummed quietly under her breath as she looked through her kitchen cabinets for the packs of instant noodles she usually kept there. She pulled one out, placing it carefully atop the counter next to her phone. She poured water into a cup and turned on the burner, opening up her microwave to let it heat while her phone rang.

That surprised her greatly. She hadn't expected anyone else to be contacting her at this time of day. Most people are either at school or working. A notification popped up on the screen, and Kanade picked up the device, pressing the home button and bringing up her messages. She skimmed quickly over the list of notifications waiting for her.

volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Inochi ni Kirawarete Iru 0:57 ————|——— -2:10

❝Kanade was traumatized when her music inadvertently led someone very dear to her into depression. This unfortunate event resulted in her focusing on creating songs which inspired hope, and she created Nightcord at 25:00 specifically with this goal in mind. She composes songs for the group.❞

—Profile

Name: Kanade Yoisaki

Gender: Female

Birthday: February 10 (♒︎)

Height: 154 cm (5'1")

School: Online High School (Third Year)

Romantic Orientation: DemiRomantic

Sexual Orientation: Demi-Sexual

Hobbies:

Finding new music to listen to

Movies

Manga

Anime

Art

Specialty: An innate ability to accurately track time

Favorite Food:

•Instant noodles

• Canned food

Least Favorite Food:

• Coriander

• Natto

• And other smelly foods

Dislikes:

• Direct sunlight

• Housework

Appearance: Kanade has blue eyes and very long, blueish-white hair. Her bangs are tucked to both sides, save for a long section in the middle that almost reaches down to her nose, and her face is framed by a fairly long strand of hair on either side. Her voice is soft and calm, and she is generally inexpressive.

Casual Outfit: In her second year, her casual outfit consists of a dark blue track jacket with white stripes, worn partially unzipped. She wears a black shirt underneath and has shor, lighter blue shorts.In her third year, she simply completely unzips the track jacket, revealing a purple shirt.

Unit Outfit: Her unit outfit is a long, puffy jacket with a gradient that starts at white and fades to an ashy dark grey. The hood is tiedint the middle with a black and red ribbon. In Kanade's 3D model, the sleeves are long enough to completely cover her hands. In the official image for her unit outfit, she holds a bulky black-and-pink wireless headset.

Personality: Though antisocial, Kanade is extremely kind and caring to those close to her. She often puts the needs of others before herself, overworking herself for the sake of her music. Kanade's entire life is dedicated to composing, often putting off sleep, eating, and going outside to focus on writing music.

Headcanons:

• She listens to video game soundtracks, but mainly watches playthroughs of video games instead of playing them herself. If she plays games, she gets so absorbed by the music that she usually ends up dying right away.

• Kanade's long hair is often described as beautiful, though she only keeps it long because cutting it is a hassle.

• Due of the length of her hair, Kanade often trips over it. She is also described to have trouble walking on windy days due the force of her hair blowing dragging her back.

• Kanade has a secret guilty pleasure for cheesy romantic movies and often binge-watches them late at night when no one's around.

• Despite her antisocial tendencies, Kanade is surprisingly good at giving thoughtful and heartfelt advice to her friends, showing her caring and empathetic nature.

• She has a collection of old vinyl records that she inherited from her parents, and occasionally, when she needs a break from composing, she plays them on her vintage record player.

• Kanade is a master at finding hidden gems in the world of indie music. Her playlists are a carefully curated blend of mainstream and lesser-known tracks.

• She has a soft spot for stray cats and often leaves food out for them. There's a particular neighborhood cat she named "Harmony," and she secretly hopes it visits her more often.

• Kanade has a habit of doodling musical notes absentmindedly on any piece of paper within reach when she's brainstorming or lost in thought.

• Despite her dislike of direct sunlight, Kanade enjoys stargazing. On clear nights, she can be found on her balcony, wrapped in a cozy blanket, marveling at the night sky.

• Kanade's favorite type of instant noodles is miso-flavored, and she adds a unique twist by tossing in a handful of chopped green onions for extra flavor.

• She has a hidden talent for imitating bird calls and sometimes uses this skill to entertain herself during breaks from composing.

• Kanade often loses track of time not only because of her dedication to composing but also because she occasionally daydreams about fantastical stories inspired by her own music.

Character quirks:

1. Clockwork Rhythms: Kanade absentmindedly taps her fingers or lightly drums her hands on surfaces, unintentionally creating rhythmic patterns that match the tempo of her current composition.

2. Musical Daydreams: When deep in thought, Kanade sometimes hums or softly sings fragments of melodies she's working on, creating an impromptu soundtrack to her own musings.

3. Cat Whispers: Kanade has a unique ability to attract and befriend stray cats. She claims it's because she talks to them in a melodic, soothing voice, often engaging in one-sided conversations with her feline friends.

4. Starlit Mementos: Kanade has a small collection of glow-in-the-dark stars scattered on her bedroom ceiling, each representing a significant milestone or achievement in her music career. She gazes at them when seeking inspiration.

5. Midnight Palette: Kanade insists on composing music only during the nighttime, believing that the quiet and stillness enhance her creative flow. Daytime compositions, in her opinion, lack the magical touch that the night brings.

Positive Character Quirks:

1. Selfless Melodies: Kanade often composes personalized pieces for her friends, using her music to express appreciation and support for them during challenging times.

2. Empathetic Listener: Despite her antisocial demeanor, Kanade is an excellent listener. She not only hears the words but also understands the emotions behind them, offering comfort and advice when needed.

3. Unexpected Acts of Kindness: Kanade surprises her friends with thoughtful gestures, like leaving a bowl of instant noodles at their doorstep or creating a mixtape of uplifting tunes to boost their spirits.

4. Musical Memory Lane: Kanade occasionally takes a break from her own compositions to recreate nostalgic tunes from her friends' favorite childhood shows or games, adding her unique touch to bring back cherished memories.

5. Inspiration Booster: Kanade encourages her circle members to pursue their passions, often dedicating compositions to celebrate their achievements, making her a source of motivation and positivity within the group.

Negative Character Quirks:

1. Social Reclusiveness: Kanade's intense focus on her music sometimes leads her to isolate herself for days, unintentionally neglecting social interactions and causing concern among her friends.

2. Perfectionist Struggles: Kanade tends to be overly critical of her own work, often scrapping entire compositions if they don't meet her high standards. This perfectionism occasionally hinders her productivity.

3. Emotional Burden: Kanade internalizes the emotional weight of her friends' struggles, sometimes becoming overwhelmed with the responsibility of using her music to bring them solace, leading to moments of emotional exhaustion.

4. Chronic Sleep Deprivation: Kanade's dedication to her craft often results in irregular sleep patterns. She occasionally experiences bouts of insomnia, sacrificing rest for the sake of her music.

5. Unspoken Frustrations: When faced with creative blocks or challenges in her compositions, Kanade tends to keep her frustrations to herself, struggling silently rather than reaching out for collaborative solutions.

(I've been rping for like 10 years now but this my first time rping on Tumblr. So sorry if I'm bad.)

(I down for any canon or au rps. I also do multiverse with other characters from different series or ocs.)

(Have any questions just ask away.)

#kanade project sekai #project sekai rp #project sekai edit #project sekai #first time rping on tumblr #hatsune miku colorful stage au #hatsune miku project sekai au #hatsune miku colorful stage #kanade yoisaki

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enigmasandepiphanies · 1 year

Text

I am supposed to write a poem but I can't and I haven't written in a year and I really wanted to write on this ever since I had a convo with my childhood best friend about how there are people in my city who have roots. That's the term she used. Roots. They have culture, community, they feel they belong, they miss the city, and the city misses them, their mother tongue is here, their families and friends are and they wanna come back here after all this time and I have been born and brought up in this state but the language is not mine. I don't know anything about my ancestry and my grandparents refuse to talk about how they came into this country, how their religion was stamped on their hands as a plea to keep them secure

and it's fucking hilarious that ik Shakespeare, Premchand, Korean nursery rhymes but the only sentence I can say in my mother tongue is "my name is my name" and that's the only sentence I have spoken to anyone who has asked me to talk in my language and I don't know why that's the first thing, maybe I am trying to prove my name exists in my mother tongue

but it is okay, sun poured heat little by little over my maa's aloe vera plant and I grew up with it, making my own culture like yogurt, like bacteria, like fandom. what is a cultural crisis but a stories that end in a comma rather than a period? I grew up reading books, licking the plate of stories from my dad's mythology tales to my mum's same old lion and the mouse story to second hand books from book fairs to young adult novels

and then I discovered fandom and fan culture and fan community and listen, it wasn't online it was irl at the heart of my two childhood best friends with whom I cried over gay characters because they were prisms of our tattered angsty adolescent selves, I sang kpop songs so loud even though I didn't know the lyrics, yet they were more home than my mother tongue. perhaps home is where all attempts to escape cease to exist

and it was a warm home, stories that matter to me, that i giggled over with a lovenote of shared eye glances in literature classes, guess the character games during sports days and dressing up with our fave story characters on a friend's birthday, jumping in corridors, doing the taekook handshake in the homeroom till we almost missed our school bus, narrating character analysis and fanfic plots in early morning bus rides at fucking 7 am but my bestie's ears didn't bleed because in this city, the only place I belong was in fiction, in stories and languages which I didn't know but called home

but we grew up, some stories remained and some became a ruin without a city, without a location, like language, like my mother tongue

perhaps stories meant so much to me because the people did. in my university's literature class, we talk about adaptation and transformative works but how do i tell my professor that we shape stories as much as they shape us, how do i tell them that i don't ever scream to 'you need to calm down' or 'kiwi' without seeing my best friends face in my head, that when my uni friend texted me about do you know hayley kiyoko i didn't tell her about how I loved her album only because my childhood bestie made me listen to it on my scooty (she's lesbian jesus so ofc ik her), how do I tell new bts armys in the movie theatre where I watched the suga documentary that I forgot taekook handshake because the girl who did it with me lives cities away and forgets to message me sometimes but everytime I meet her she hugs me and my 15 year old self, how do I tell a uni friend that run bts is not the same because the person who laughed with me the most during the new years eve is the same one I said bye to this new years

and then there are other stories of how I haven't eaten raw mango popsicles since a year because I was scared I will get sick. the only reason I wasn't getting sick before was because the person-who-laughed-with-me-during-run-bts told me to shut up and enjoy it , how I can never tell someone about fanfic plots is because my childhood friend lives far away and only she knows what I actually mean when I say love is stored in fan fiction. how I can never sit behind her activa while she tells me the meaning of decalcomania. how the people who reshaped those stories with me never knew how they were so important to me because we were reshaping them together. They were not escapism, they were an explanation to who I am. But perhaps they were escaping their homes and found solace in mine, perhaps they were building my home and their home with me too

and will they ever know that i was giving them the tenderness of my mother tongue? well, ocean vuong said sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof you have been ruined. maybe that's why my mother doesn't say any endearments in our mother tongue, because it always ends in partition, a slip of the tongue.

people often tell me that my tenderness is not the tenderness they wanted and it sucks because I try and try and still fail at love languages. sometimes I think I don't know how to give tenderness because I wasn't taught my mother tongue and I constantly seek refuge in another language. how to give tenderness when you have been unkind anyway?

but stories, they are my migration certificate. my uni friends don't realize that. when they don't understand why fandom and stories are so important to me, I close my eyes and think about how longing is such a gullible word for something so predatory.

oh btw decalcomania is a technique used by some surrealist artists which involves pressing paint between sheets of paper and when you open it it's symmetrical. in the song she and I loved it meant when two people have something in common

but what storytellers and storylovers like to forget is when someone joins you on the page of your book, they will not stay on that page for long

because stories continue and goodness, I actually love life because stories continue

and in the end, I am a fan of many fandoms and ik people who know how much that story meant to them will come back to it, write fics and tumblr posts and lovingly caress that annotated page where we first joined hands

shit I still can't write the poem and this one ends with a comma, but hey stories continue

okkiee lol this was brought to you by this mindfucking convo I had with my friends, but also some of this will actually end up in that poem , this is just a mishmash about cultural crisis, career crisis, do I wanna settle in abroad crisis but in the end stories are always home literally like some people don't understand how big it is for me

and sidenote my friend who has "roots" said this which I think is very sweet ahh

#warm up #eni tag #this is actually word vomit okay cause of this convo i had and i cant take it outta my head since two days

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girlwithakiwi · 10 months

Text

20 Questions Writer Meme

I wasn't tagged but I did steal this from @skywalking-through-life because it looked fun.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

31. 11 are public and are from my current fandom while 20 are user-locked and are from previous fandoms.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,140,336. About 900k of that is from my current fandom. :P

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, I write for A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Probably everything in my current fandom lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I know it is a common complaint in the writing fandom space how fandom community has been replaced by content creation and consumption, and I figure that one of the ways to fight back against that is to have a two-way chat in the comment section. I also figure that both me and the reader are in this fandom for a reason and I also like chatting about the thought process behind my stories so I enjoy the thread gabs!

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

Me, who kills Jon off as a hobby: *laughs nervously*

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

Think I'll stick to current fandom for these questions but probably interlude: la danse d'hiver, the only time I will likely ever write a Babies Ever After/Targaryen Restoration ending. It maybe ties with the silhouette of a single memory, but the caveat with the latter is that everything in canon still took place so maybe it's more on the sweet side of bittersweet.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? I've had a handful of stray comments that probably didn't need to be written but to be honest, I'm roasted on the reg by a pair of 6-year-olds. No one can hurt your feelings like a child with no tact so I usually shake my head and laugh at the rare bits of negativity.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do love to see an aunt bang her nephew. So yes. Very much so lmao

10. Do you write crossovers?

Fusion, sure. But I haven't really written a crossover since my days writing for The Dresden Files/Sherlock and that was entirely due to a whole OC storyline I created with my partner-in-crime

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Hopefully not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated the gather, the bend, the bringing forth into Russian. Kudos to them because even my eyes go crossed when I work up the gumption to reread that monstrosity.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

In the past, yes! Not anymore though because my writing schedule is absolutely shit-faced.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I've had a lot of OTPs. Clearly, I'm sailing on the Jonerys ship currently but I've had at least one or two for each fandom I've written for.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Arcana, mostly. I grew disillusioned with the canon source and its author so there's a good chance this one will never be finished.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I am my worst critic so I'll just say I'm good at typing a lot of words that sometimes are coherent and pretty.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, which is a real fucking problem since four of my multi-chapter fics over the past couple of years have been (or are going to be) well over 150k.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There are usually snippets of High Valyrian in some of my ASOIAF/GOT fics but I'm not sure of that counts.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon! :D

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh. That's a tough one. I like all of my fics for different reasons. They each speak to me in a different way. I may love the complexity of one, the writing style of another, the themes of a third, and the characterization of yet another.

I will say that the two fics of mine I reread most often are the silhouette of a single memory and where ruin also exists.

•

Tagging @sweetpeapod @aeide @ragingrainbow @mrpinniped @thebright1 @zavocado @arielchelby @jellybeanficwriter if you're interested!

#writing memes #memes on tumblr!?

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kingedmundsroyalmurder · 11 months

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Tagged by @batrachised. Thank you!

1-How many works do you have on AO3?

102. We will not discuss the number of fics posted on the ff.net account I maintained in high school.

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

298,956. Lower than I would have expected, actually. My longfic days were primarily, again, in high school, so on AO3 it's mostly shorter one-shots.

3-What fandoms do you write for?

Currently on a Blue Castle kick. Previously my main fandom was Les Mis, mostly bookverse, and prior to that I spent a decade or so as a Harry Potter girl. I have dabbled in other things, but none of them deeply enough for me to consider them actual fandoms that I am in.

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In the darkest time of year -- Hadestown, post-canon. I believe this is also the fic with the most notes on tumblr.

The Black Sheep and the Mad Muggleborn: a love story -- HP, post-canon. I really liked writing this one and, like all my HP work, now have deeply conflicted feelings about it.

And I could be enough -- Power Rangers 2017, character study. I only wrote 2 fics for this movie and I adore them both so much.

Stormforged -- ASOIAF, alternate ending. This was written for Femslash February and represents the sum total amount of time I have spent thinking about ASOIAF since reading the first four books in a week during standardized testing week back in high school.

We rose with voices ringing -- HP, alternate post-canon. Can you tell I default to song lyric titles a lot and also enjoy musicals?

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I am trying to be better about this! For a long time I didn't because I hated everything I wrote the moment I published it and the only way I could publish at all was to throw a fic out the door and never think of it again.

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You know, I'm not sure. I haven't done full on angst in a long time. Probably either Waiting for sunrise (LM) or With nothing to remember (also LM). Honorable mention goes to Real in its consequences (still LM) which exists solely to take a ridiculous premise seriously.

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's new and still my beautiful child, so this one goes to Ties That Bind, Bonds That Strengthen (TBC).

Oh! Honorable mention to The title of citizen (LM Animates-verse). It's... it just has to be read to be understood, tbh.

8-Do you get hate on fics?

Not since the old aforementioned high school era ffn account, where I once got flamed for writing het. Ah, the good old days. (It wasn't even endgame het, lol.)

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope. I've played with some fade to black and a couple, like, sensuous bed scenes, but I find it boring to read so I don't write it.

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have come to love crossovers, honestly. I like putting characters into Situations. Can't think of any particularly crazy ones though.

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've ever found or been told about, although realistically with how much I've written and how long I've been doing it I'm sure there are some out there.

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, but I can't off the top of my head remember which ones, unfortunately.

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I am a dreadful co-writer. I will, however, build a world with you at the drop of a hat. Shout out to @steelplatedhearts for the PoTC mermaid worldbuilding we did years and years ago that I still think about fondly.

14-What's your all-time favourite ship?

It varies. Right now unfortunately it's the two leads from the Forbidden Hugs story, which is unfinished original fiction. Fandom wise, I still like me some Logic and Philosophy.

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Anything started earlier than this year, unfortunately.

16-What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I have gotten decent at having an entertaining narrative voice without it being too distracting.

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot? What plot? Plot is when people sit in rooms and have conversations about their feelings, right? What do you mean Events must occur? I'm calling my manager, this doesn't sound right at all.

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Mostly feels needlessly pretentious, honestly. I don't know if I've ever really even considered it.

19-First fandom you wrote for?

HP, starting at age, oh, 14 or so.

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

Again, Ties That Bind is still my beloved child, but I have a huge soft spot for both Power Rangers (2017) fics. Oh, and underdog fav status to Never go anywhere, never see anyone, the nichest of niche crossovers where Mary Bolkonskaya befriends doesn't-even-get-a-canonical-first-name Aunt Gillenormand.

Tagging @lemeute, @manyswarmsofbees, @amarguerite, @ohhgingersnaps

#audience participation

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rumor-imbris · 1 year

Note

Your Fatina Lunare, and sis of course, is back!!!

Since you asked, here it is!!!

4. Do you like to get 100% achievements/trophies?

5. Game(s) coming out that you’re looking forward to

7. A series you’ve lost interest in

13. Quick, name the first song from a game that comes to mind

17. A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday

18. A game location you really like

19. A game you started up for the first time and you knew from the start it was going to be great

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

23. A “Wow” moment of awe

27. A game you love the atmosphere of

31. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

Hugs for the Lady Captain of the Aquila.

La Fatina Lunare Giulietta 🌙 ✨

I knew my Moon Damsel would fly to me in my inbox, I missed you so much! *w*

Thank you for another ask, let's start!

4. Do you like to get 100% achievements/trophies? I usually do, especially in open world games (when the map is not insanely vast!). The more unique the collectables, trophies or challenges, the better! ^_-

5. Game(s) coming out that you’re looking forward to I can't absolutely wait for Hellblade II Senua's Saga, but unfortunately they still haven't announced a release date date yet, so... I'm (Im)patiently waiting. In the meanwhile, definitely SW Jedi: Survivor, which is out in two days!

7. A series you’ve lost interest in It might sound paradoxically absurd, but it's quite the Assassin's Creed series. The way they torn and raped the lore and gameplay mechanincs definitely threw away my slightest consideration. They lost me at Origins, which is a The Witcher 3 wanna be with a nonsense plot in my opinion. And let me say, maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but the series had to end with Syndicate.

13. Quick, name the first song from a game that comes to mind

youtube

This creepy lullaby from Outlast 2 is always on my mind when playing all horror games, don't know why! Jumpscare alert!

17. A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday Usually if I give up on a game is because it didn't grow on me even after days and days of gameplay, but for Remothered: Broken Porcelain this is not the case. This game was very and badly bugged at the release and still needs to be properly patched at this time, that's why I wasn't able to finish it, but I'd love to play it fluently one day and conclude the story of Jennifer.

youtube

18.A game location you really like

There are countless, I'll name a few: The Frontier in AC3 The Cemetery, Scarecrow Fields in Medievil, Kew Gardens and Wulfrum Hall in Medievil 2 Almost all the worlds of Spyro Tokyo in Ghostwire Tokyo

19. A game you started up for the first time and you knew from the start it was going to be great Oh well, so many!! It's a long long list. I just feel it when a game can give me a lot emotionally and in terms of gameplay experience.

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

Again, so many. Definitely the saddest ones, such as AC3, Martha is Dead, A Plague Tale: Requiem, Stray... oh, Stray destroyed me!! Some others like The Pathless, Sea of Solitude, the good ending of Sekiro.

23. A “Wow” moment of awe

That's in Control! \m/

youtube

27. A game you love the atmosphere of

Kena: Bridge of Spirits. That game has thaumaturgic places once they're purified from corruption. But also, as a horror passionate, The Suicide of Rachel Foster gave me shivers the whole time, that was perfect!

31. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

I would go for AC1! Linear, intuitive, also a bit repetitive (so not that hard to learn) and the story is so good to let anybody understand how deep a videogame's plot can be, just like any other form of art!

Sorry if I wasn't brief ^ ^' I hope you enjoyed

Thanks for visiting me again. A waterfall of tight hugs <3

Your Lady Connor

Rumor Imbris 🦋

#ask #ask game #gaming #ask me anything #la fatina lunare giulietta #thanks for asking <3 #friends

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find-angeli · 1 year

Text

Sa Halik ng Umaga at Dapithapon, Malayang Kasama Ka.

For the love of my life, my moon, my oasis, my sanctuary.

It's been 4 years and 4 months since my eyes met yours. There's no doubt that we created our own magic since then. I just knew our invisible strings have been working well and finally pulled us closer.

May my overwhelming love find you through the way that I know I could express myself best-- art. May this playlist with short love letters bring you (and us) to where all the magic started and remind how we've always chosen to find the light no matter what.

*Play it in its original sequence. Mahigpit na yakap habang pinapakinggan mo. :)

Track 1: Someone to Stay

My love, we met each other in a time that both our hearts were shattered, numb, and abandoned. But I know that fate brought us together. From being that kind cool guy we have in the office who never missed to ask me how I'm adjusting as a new employee, we became close friends who listened without judgement. Thank you for showing me hope, keeping me close, and loving me most. My heart that was once cold was filled with life. The world is truly too wonderful to just focus on the negativities.

Track 2: Crush

Oh how can I ever forget the night you confessed your feelings for me.

A simple text message saying, "Please tell me you're still up."

I know it's fate that I still was and it's probably the only time I'm thankful that my body clock had always been messed up. The never-ending "Uhm ano kasi, ganito kasi. Ok ito na sasabihin ko. Ito na talaga." HAHAHAHAH such a cutie!

Thank you for taking the leap of faith, Mahal.

Track 3: I Like (the idea of) You

Maybe I haven't told you this but you were the reason why I was still up that night you confessed to me. I was really worried about how things turned out after we parted ways. In the number of nights that you accompanied me home, it was the first time I saw you panic and forget to ensure my safety going home. It was also the same night I admitted to myself that I couldn't help it. I like the idea of you.

Track 4: Bad Ideas

The phase of holding back. We both just came from a breakup. We felt the sparks and butterflies but were left no choice but to hangout, try not to give mallice, and even hid from the public (esp. officemates) because we knew it'd be frowned upon. The greatest challenge of it all was to not kiss you. Especially that you're such an adorable, sweet, and funny chinito. And I swear your curls made it all the more irresistible. Gaaaaaa!

Track 5: First Day of My Life

A life renewed, hopeful hearts filled with bliss.

"Remember the night you drove all night just to meet me in the morning?"

I read through this line and thought of how you pursued not just me but also my family so they could give you their blessing and we could face the sun, see the world together.

"I'm glad I didn't die before I met you."

While this line reminded me that we didn't give up on love despite the struggles we've went through in our past relationships.

Hinarap natin ang mundo nang magkasama, aking Mahal, at dahil doon, ako ay lubos na nagagalak.

Track 6: Sanctuary

Remember this song? We had it on loop for a week but it became more memorable when we played it in Green Nature Resort in Nagcarlan without our colleagues knowing that we were already dating. Without any dull moment, we talked all night about anything that our hearts desired and happily welcomed the dawn. Mahal, I felt accepted for all that I am and from then on, I knew you're the one. I knew you are my sanctuary.

Track 7: Bloom

We became inseparable, living and enjoying life as it goes. A few months in and our love was already tested by distance when I transferred to Canlubang Office and it was as if that wasn't enough, Covid-19 pandemic took over the whole world's lives including ours. We were stuck longing to be close to one another. There was nothing we could wish for but to see the day we could feel that warm embrace again. My love, I'm beyond grateful that we made it through that inexplicable test of time and even bought our first car together! We surely proved that we could surpass anything. 🥺

Track 8: Bawat Daan

"Kung ang puso ko ay i-mamapa, ikaw ang dulo, gitna, at simula."

When hearing this song, I can imagine me saying, "Nahanap din kita."

To which you reply, "Kay tagal kong naghintay".

And vice versa.

I'm happy our paths met and continue to meet wherever we go and in whatever phase we might be in life. I just know that everything leads to you.

Track 9: Where's My Love

I became a lost sheep in the storms I made myself, seeking for love in the wrong places. I ran to vices I shouldn't have, did the unforgiveable, and yet you still yearned for me to come home. Not caring if I bailed or what, you just called for me to come home like the prodigal son being embraced regardless of how grave he had sinned.

I know there's nothing I could do to make up for everything but I'm grateful for your forgiveness, Mahal.

Track 10: Interlude

Calm after the storm. I'm deeply sorry it wasn't a smooth sail, aking Sinta. Patawad sa mga delubyo at bagyong nilikha ko.

Track 11: Making All Things New

Letting the light come through, making all things new. Slowly, our world that once was gray is now coming back to life. You are my home, my beginning and end. I hope you could still rest with me and see me as your safe haven, just the same. I'm home now, Mahal.

Track 12: All is Well

My love, I know that you are hurting deeply and I'm sorry. I hope we could rekindle our friendship and partnership. Laugh with me, cry with me. Let your tears pour, I am here.

Track 13: Alpine Green and Track 14: I Loved You Then (And I Love You Still)

"I wish that I could share with you, like a photograph when times are good. When a flower begins to bloom, life never felt so good.

You're far, but distance doesn't break a heart. It gives us time to know our love"

Baby, you've given your all to me at it must have been exhausting to give everything and forget your own. I'm sorry that I failed to take care of you the same way you did and do to me.

I'm sorry that it took me a while to realize this but I am certain of our love's magic, aking Sinta. It heals and perseveres. It doesn't forget and keep record of wrongs. So with hopes that the flowers in our garden will still bloom in time, I am now setting you free. By this, I mean I'm letting go of my insecurity that you'll leave me because of my mistakes. It doesn't make anything better and I don't want to hurt you more than I already did. You can take all the space and time you need. I will rest in God's plan and pray that our roads will someday lead to one sanctuary. With fresh eyes and healed hearts, we will share the stories of how we conquered this mountain.

Track 15: Midnight

Don't you worry, my love. I know exactly what I'm looking for. I'm running to you. You'll always be the one I want at midnight. You'll always steal my breath away. You'll always be my heart, my light every second, every day.

Track 16: Kasama Kita

"Ako'y magiging tunay.

Ayokong makalimutan ang sinag ng araw,

Ang awit ng hangin sa'tin,

Ang makasama ko'y ikaw.

Oh ang maging malaya kasama ka."

At the end of this song, you can hear random conversations of a group of friends. Funny coincidence, it's actually from teh artist's proposal to her girlfriend haha. I hope that wherever you may go, you will remember me and wish that I am with you. I'm sure that I, myself, will seek for you in every place or situation I may be, longing to hold and kiss your hand amidst it all. Kasama mo ako palagi, Sinta.

'Wag mo sanang malimot ang mga pinagsamahan, Mahal. 'Wag sanang makalimutan at nawa'y balang araw, tayo'y magiging malaya mula sa mga hinagpis. Malaya at malayo sa mga anino ng nakaraan. Balang araw, hawak-kamay at nakangiti nating sasalubungin ang sinag ng araw.

Track 17: Bawat Piyesa, Tracks 18-19: Ikaw (Parts I & II)

Mahal ko, lagi mong aalalahanin na kahit saan man tayo paroroon, alam kong ang ikaw ay parte na ng ako at ako ay parte na ng iyo.

Laging yakap ka

Sa lambing ng mga ulap,

Sa sipol ng hangin at himig ng mga ibon,

Sa hampas ng alon at maging pagpatak ng ulan,

Sa bawat paghalik ng umaga at dapithapon,

Matatagpuang muli ang ikaw at ako.

- - -

Mahal na mahal kita, aking Jopi.

Palagi, habambuhay.

#Spotify

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chop-chop-im-cookin-up-a-hotpot · 2 years

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17 Questions, 17 People

Thank you so much for tagging me, @littlefallenrebel !! It's been a while since I've done one of these, but I do enjoy doing them! So, here we go!

Nickname: PanzerToki, Al

Sign: Virgo (and that's all I know because I don't fully understand astrology, lol)

Height: 165cm or 5'5"

Last thing I Googled: Touken Ranbu Mikazuki Munechika because I saw a figure of him, and, wow, he's really prettyyy

Song stuck in my head: Blue Sugar by Ren Zotto

Number of followers: Around 100, I think

Amount of sleep: Typically 5 hours

Lucky Number: Hmm, this is hard. I'd probably say 11.

Wearing: Tshirt I've had since grade 11 and a pair of old shorts, which serve as pajamas, because it's past midnight here.

Dream job: Honestly, I don't even really know. I just know I wanna do something with writing!

Movies/Books that summarize you: This is a hard question to answer for some reason. The first that came to mind is actually The Maze Runner series. If manga are allowed, I'd actually also include Servamp. Oh, and the movie Pacific Rim! Don't know what this colorful list says about me, lol.

Favourite songs: I have a lot, but I will list 7 that I currently listen to a lot

• Stray Kids - Haven

• 3RACHA - Tik Tok

• My Chemical Romance - Kids From Yesterday

• Sunmi - pporappippam

• Coldrain - Breathe

• Ren Zotto - Blue Sugar

• I.M - Happy to Die

Fave instrument: Bass guitar!! I love the way it sounds so much

Aesthetic: I also don't really know aesthetics well! So, I don't know how to answer this question ;;;

Fave authors: Neil Gaiman, W.B. Yeats... I'm sure there are others but I'm really blanking at the moment.

Fave animal noise: I don't know if this is a cheat answer (lol), but I'd say my dog quietly snoring when he sleeps. Oh, but I also really like the way white bellbirds sound.

Random: Something random... Oh, I would love to be fluent in so many languages! Unfortunately, I am only fluent in English, but I would love to learn others! I actually really want to learn ASL, Korean, and Norwegian!

Tagging: I also don't think I have 17 people to tag, but I will tag @anderfels, @wen-youre-in-luv-with-the-moon, @life-is-taengtaeng-ball, @fifthokage, @cobaltboba, @poqumi/@kotonas (sorry, I wasn't sure which one to tag you by!), @labradorite-princess

I haven't been super active on here for a long while, but I've recently been on here more! So, anyone that I tagged, if you're wanting, please feel free to talk to me!

#tag game #i really do enjoy doing these and i am always positively thrilled to be tagged in one #you are absolutely not obligated to answer the questions if youre not wanting to do so!

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sweetxvertigo · 2 years

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2022 was… a year.

Putting this under a Read More because I wrote quite a bit haha.

I don't know if it was a good one or not. It definitely had a lot of ups and downs.

January 1st I went back to streaming 1st after taking about 6 months off due to burnout.

In February I had definitely the best birthday I've ever had though. I played an acoustic stream on twitch and a bunch of my close friends showed up at my house mid-stream with gifts + taco bell and it was just the absolute best. I don't know if any future birthday will surpass that. I'm so thankful that I have such incredible friends.

In March I quit my band of over 10 years. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I did it for many reasons. I did it because I was frustrated with things within the band that I knew would never change. I did it because I wasn't totally feeling the direction we were going musically. And the big thing, was I wanted to try and really focus on getting my shit together this year. I really fumbled the ball on that last one. My last show was a really good time however. So many of my friends came out from different states and that I'd met playing music over the years which meant so fucking much to me. I was fully expecting to not be able to play the set without bawling my eyes out. Music has been my passion since I was 16, and giving up on it, even temporarily, was not an easy choice. I ended up being more angry during our set however because the sound person didn't route like any of my guitar through my in-ear monitors so I pretty much had to wing it. I wish I could have a do-over of that last show but oh well. A few days after that show a friend of like 7 years randomly messaged me telling me that we were no longer compatible as friends and then blocked me on all social media and to not contact them again. Definitely a kick in the teeth after an emotional weekend, but whatever.

In April I got to meet the singer of one of my favorite bands, The Wonder Years and show him my typography project based on their song Oldest Daughter which he thought was really cool. Ended up getting covid at that show, but thankfully it only felt like having a cold. I had a mild panic attack for a few days when I found out I had it AFTER making out with somebody and worrying that I gave it to them / their family, which it turned out I didn't somehow?

In May I went to my first concert since the pandemic started and it was to see The Menzingers, who are like a top 3 all time favorite band for me now. What a cathartic show it was to be able to scream along to their songs for over an hour.

The first day in June I woke up to the news that a friend, not one I was particularly close to but one that I enjoyed being around and got to bond over Coheed with a few years prior had passed away. It's so weird losing someone around the same age as you. I saw one of my best friends get married to the love of her life and got to celebrate it with all of my close friends. I went to a few more shows, mainly to see You Me And Everyone We Know.

I don't remember much about July. I remember being extremely stressed out about a lot of things. I did get to hang out with my friend from CT a few times which was cool though.

August was the last time I streamed until a one-off in September. I don't think I'll ever be the streamer I once was again, and that's fine. I broke things off with the person I was seeing. Oh and at the end of the month was when I made that bootleg MCR shirt that sold over 1100 copies? Wild.

In September I went up to NYC with a couple friends to visit one of my best friends from highschool that I haven't hung out with much in about 10 years. I went to my first burlesque show and got to see a really hot goth clown staple pages of the bible to her body. Went to at least another YMAEWK show, and obsessed over the new Wonder Years album.

Speaking of The Wonder Years, in October I got to see them and Fireworks twice. Some of the best shows I've ever been to, hands down. One of my favorite local musicians started releasing new music after like 7 years which was really awesome. I also got to take some cool engagement photos for a friend. At the end of the month I got to meet a bunch of cool online friends in person that I've grown closer to over the last year.

In November I got drunk for the first time at a friend's halloween party which was fun. The next day I got to see The Menzingers for the 2nd time this year, this time playing the album that got me into them in full and I got to be like 3rd row the entire set. I got to see a few of my friends play at the First Unitarian Church in Philly for the first which is so cool after seeing so many of my favorite bands there before. I ended the month seeing The Spill Canvas playing "No Really, I'm Fine" in its entirety which was such a wildly inspirational album to me back in the day.

And now we're in December. I started off the month by going up to CT for the weekend with my friend from NYC to visit another friend of ours we knew through twitch. We had a lot of soups that weekend. It was a good time. Had a friends Christmas get-together last week with was a lot of fun. I do feel bad that I couldn't get everyone gifts / didn't spend a lot but I'm glad that I got to see my friends and give most of them something. Honestly besides those things, this month flew by.

But here we are, less than 24 hours from 2023 and I don't feel any more accomplished than I did at the beginning of the year. I thought I was going to make moves this year and yet I couldn't get my brain to cooperate with me long enough to take the motivation I had to make any sort of strides towards reaching my goals. I've been super in my head this past week over stuff like that as well as other stupid things that have been sending my anxiety to wild levels. I did have a lot of good experiences this year though, along with the bad. I lost some friends, but I also gained some others. Maybe next year will be better over all.

#long post is long #2022 #cw: alcohol #tw: mention of death

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popculturebuffet · 18 days

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Next up for Warner Bros Animation, favorite character from the first wave of shows they produced for Cartoon Network from 2001-06 (don't worry, the Kids WB half will be in another ask): Justice League, Baby Looney Tunes, 3-South (okay, that was made for MTV but gonna throw it in this batch anyway), Teen Titans, Duck Dodgers, Justice League Unlimited, Firehouse Tales, and Krypto the Superdog?

Fair enough. I woudln't mind doing mtv but since it was part of warner animation it gets thrown in here anyway...

Justice League: Martian Mahunter. I thought this would be hard, the big 7 are damn great in this series and the sequel.. but no. This is the series that made me love Jonn who despite, as i've realized being out of focus, is one of the most intresting characters, someone out of place in his new home but damn well ready to fight for it. A soft nurturing soul and the heart of the team. The Flash is a close second as it made me love wally west before I even knew who was under the mask or that there was more than one.

Justice League holds a special place in my heart. While I did watch the other dc shows as a kid, Justice League was one I followed week to week with rapt attention and the one I saw almost all of (still haven't seen starcrossed) and one I need to rewatch. It was my introduction to a lot of the dc universe, being the reason i'm a fan of Jonn Jones, John Stewart GL, metamorpho, lex luthor , and gorilla grodd. It took these characters and brought me in, had tons of creativity from a horrifying take on the justice society (so bad they had to change them to mildly original characters), to the sobering a new world two parter, to the chilling two pater with dr destiny, taking his more horrror tinged later self and putting him against the league. I cannot say enough good about the series. It's not AS consitant as say BTAS, but it's still something truly special. It's ont perfect in everything it brings forward from the comics, but what it brings itself is amazing.

Baby Looney Tunes: I'm not sure honestly, possibly Lola. But the show itself was adorable and a decently done spinoff babies. It's not really looney or tooney, but it is sweet and is really only shown up by the fact the new muppet babies show managed to do both this and keep the zany insanity of the muppets in there.

3-South: I thought I was wrong I thought I was right, I thought it better not to fight. The show itself I dont' have a faviorite for but I did enjoy. IT's creator would sadly make bordertown

But 3 south is a fun dumb show with some good voice acting, a killer theme song and a gag about what's the captial of thailand that stuck with me for some reason and took me years to find what mtv show it was from.

Teen Titans: 3 2 1 GO TEEN TITANS! Weird pick but i'm going with Cyborg. He's a nice mix of comic relief and a geninely compelling character who struggles with the normal life he can't have, the only titan who really.. misses being a normal person. He puts the anger of his comic self early on aside for instead just some sadness and had some of the best episodes of the show. Sasdly not the best arc but it at least gave us bumblbee and cyborg's hilarious version of the theme.

As for the show itself it's one I need to rewatch in full (I've only rewatched season 1) and easily one of the best dc cartoons, best warner cartoons and possibly best cartoons period. It's energetic, and like the DCAU that's come up a LOT (and will wrap up talking abou tshortly), it takes the key strategy of stripping away the continuity glut down to what makes these characters special, with it's versions often being better than the original: raven is still largely defined by her cartoon self and i'm okay with that.

The show wasn't perfect: Brother blood started well but petered out, the brotherhood of evil, while awesome didn't quite fit as the final foes and the last episode can eat my ass, but the show deftly ballanced comedy and action, had one of the best villians in all of animation who while not really that acurate to the comics , still fucking slaps (Who is slade indeed), and pitch perfect animation, with trouble in tokyo making a better finale than the actual final episode. A childhood faviorite that holds up well for the most part, this ones well worth checking out if you somehow haven't. TEEN TITANS.. GO!

Duck Dodgers: IN THE 24TH AND 1/2 CENTURRRRYYYY. Look having tom jones sing your theme song feels like a cheat. Also the martian queen.. for.. reasons. Moving on.

Duck Dodgers is one I also need to rewatch but remember absolutely loving: funny, on point and a nice update of looney tunes taking a one off flash gordon parody and making an honestly fun flash gordon reboot out of it.

Justice League Unlimited; DUH DUH DUH DUH DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN WHOM WHOM WHOM WHOM WHOM WHOM wha wha wha wha wha shooom. Yeah that was embarassing but damn if it wasn't fun. So faviorite character is hard as Unlimited has a ton to choose from and unlike league wasn't as focused on a main cast. THe big 7 are still important, but others get the spotlight. Out of the new crop I'm ending up going with the question as while I like their ollie and a lot of their interprtations, jeffery combs stole the whole damn show before I even knew who that was, taking a forgetable character with an unfortgetable look and making him a fan faviorite overnight.

The show itself I only saw seasons 1 and 2 of (and like league proper need to rewatch) but it might just suprass the original. It exchanges a tight cast of 7 for a large cast that could be too large in theory but in practice get tons of focus and said focus still largely rests on a few key members: the big 7 (minus jonn who sadly gets bonked down to mission control and Diana who isn't as present), Green Arrow, Supergirl, and Question. But by expanding the league it also allows for bigger stories including a GIANT buffet of cameos from across dc history. The cartoon threw in dead man, had a whole episode for the seven soldiers of victory, stargirl and STRIPE , Wildcat. The series could easily double as a jsa cartoon and I welcome it.

The show's largely anchored by it's overarching plot: Cadamus, asking the question of SHOULD th eleague have all the poewr their amassing, with neither side being entirely right, all capped by an awesome finale and a solid epilogue.. then it kept going but apparently is still pretty good.

JLU is a glorious expansion of an already great show. it's not quite as consitant, but picks up for it by a sheer love for the dcu it gets to explore in earnest.. unless your a batman character. Godddamn bat embargo.

Firehouse Tales; I have no idea what this is

Krypto: KRYPTO THE SUPER DOG! And it's the dog stars. BARK FOR JUSTICE BOW WOW WOW. I loved them at the time for being fun, later for thinking they were a legion of superheroes fill in and now for finding out their actually their own obscure legion of superheroes knockoff the series expanded.

The show itself is unfairly forgotten: despite being aimed at younger kids, I dearly loved it, a fun campy take on a fun campy concept. It just has this energy to it that makes it work, this silver age give no fucks energy merged with great art and a spotlight on characters who probably won't get it again because that super pets movie looked like it missed the boat.

#krypto the superdog #justice league #justice league unlimited #baby looney tunes #looney tunes #duck dodgers #teen titans

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fenimores-book-nook · 10 months

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>> Self care writing ~ Day 6 <<

November 21st, 2023, Tuesday

My Day so far: 6:30 am ~ Wake up, do some yoga, read the latest Heartstopper episode on Webtoon, get dressed for the day. 7:00 am ~ Leave for work, open the shop at 8, make some coffee for myself, shelf books, eat breakfast, do work around the store. 1:00 pm ~ Get off work, head to the library to do some writing. 1:57 pm, Now ~ Do some notebook-journaling and work on day 6 of self care writing. ;)

I haven't done much today other than work, unreasonably freak out over a Walmart order*, read, and write. :)

*I was trying to order The Hunger Games movies and I accidentally put curbside pickup which I did not want to do. So I was going to pass time at the library but when I arrived here, I got a notification saying that it's available for free shipping, so we're doing that instead. :,) It's kind of funny how antisocial and introverted I can be when I literally work in customer service. But it's fine. I still love my job.

What I have planned for the rest of my day: 2:15ish pm ~ Leave the library, grab some lunch, and head home to relax. At home ~ I want to do some more reading, hopefully get through *at least* two chapters of Iron Flame. I also need to keep reading my book club book since I'm only like one-hundred pages in (or less) and it's next week. But who are we kidding? I will probably end up reading The Baby-Sitters Club. I also would LOVE to finally decorate my room for Christmas but I've been lacking the motivation to do so. But who knows? Maybe I'll have a burst of energy to start it today. 6:00 pm ~ Leave again and head to my friend's house so we can carpool to a play that our high school is putting on. We graduated this year, but we always love showing our support for our friends and I also just love going to productions*. 7:00 pm ~ Watch the play. :)

*I've really realized how much I love going to different kinds of productions after graduating from high school. I've been to a couple of my brother's college concerts and a musical his college put on; and I loved all of them very much. :) Honestly, I think the realization really bloomed after I saw Hamilton in person. Which was AMAZING. I was so happy that I started crying when they started singing the opening song. :,)

So for now, I think I'll do some morning journaling prompts and call a break. :) (technically afternoon prompts but it's fine)

(pinterest, of course)

I'm grateful for my love for my hometown, it definitely wasn't always this strong, but it got there. For my two-day break from work this week. :) That I really enjoy doing my self care writings. The Hunger Games series, heehee. And for the magic of books that I'm in love with.

I have the intention for today to be a relaxing, yet productive day. I wanna get some things done (like I am right now!) but also be able to just relax too.

I want to be good to myself. Not make myself feel guilty for taking the time to rest, even if it means I don't get something done that I've been meaning to (I have time). For others, I want to be able to be a caring person that they might need. Even if it's in small ways.

I'm doing great right now! There is no need to compare different versions of myself, but what is important is to really see how far I've come and be proud of that. <3

Flash forward quite a bit! 11:48 pm, yep, it's a late night tonight. I came home from the play I mentioned earlier around 11. No, the play didn't go until then, I went with a friend and we ended up meeting another friend and just having our normal shenanigans. :) Which was quite a lot of fun. And the play. THE PLAY. It was just so incredible, I loved it so, so much. It was a reality show but with Greek gods. Pretty fantastic, I know.

Since it is almost tomorrow, I'm gonna jump to some night self care things, from the same one as before. ;)

I started decorating my room for Christmas!! And I got writing done at the library like I intended on doing.

How much I love the library and how I can spend hours there. <3

A bit about Greek gods. Like how Zeus and Hera were siblings but they were together. Eeshk.

I felt happy and sentimental.

Some lack of motivation and my I-want-to-live-in-a-cottage-in-the-woods-alone-part of me at some moments.

Putting too much trust into things at a certain time. It's okay. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or naive. I just care a lot and that's okay.

And of course fanart from pinterest of The Owl House, to say goodnight. (cuz they are the cutest & I love them)

Until next time,

Thalia <3

#self care writing series #journaling #writing #blog #self care #journal prompts #my day #day six #the hunger games #the owl house

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feuqueerfire · 1 year

Text

Derry Girls Live Blogging

Been meaning to watch this for so long. I've seen so many clips and videos on the internet of this, especially about the nun and the lesbian

Season 1

Ep 1 (Mar 24)

I do love horrid but funny family dynamics

please "I'm not going to be an individual on my own"

lol I've seen so many of this nun sister's moments on like tiktok, she's funny

lmfao a dead nun?!

that was very fun

Ep 2 (Mar 24)

the trust funds T.T

stealing a whole notice job board and so having to work for free pls

pls T.T this ep was so T.T

Ep 3 (Mar 24)

this English guy lmfao hated on for being English, presumed to be gay, and the grandpa being like hm he could be a rapist

plsss not the dog pee as tears of Mary

oh the lesbian not being in awe of the priest while all the other girls are

the priest is hoping for proof of God through these girls being led to the chapel and seeing a weeping statue, I'm dead

Ep 4 (Mar 24)

pls I'm actually dying at the way these Irish people are treating the Ukeranians from Chernobyl like some little dolls T.T reminds me of Claire with her African Kamal obsession in ep 1 but at least he wasn't here for her to lead him around T.T

T.T why is Erin so worried about James' virginity

please these people are so T.T the sisters so unwelcoming to their father's new gf (their mother's been dead a decade) and, in the words of Katya, Erin is a "racist, patronizing bitch" T.T

Ep 5 (Mar 24)

maybe I would've enjoyed this more if I knew about about like Irish history and whatever was going on with Emmett

Ep 6 (Mar 24)

ah poor Clare they're all publishing her journal submission even though they're claiming it's for support

omg the "Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me" song

also the song Girls & Boys by Blur I think? at like 16 mins? the instrumental

oh yeah it is Girls & Boys hehe

poor Clare who has her writing all spread across the school but the person who insisted on publishing it for the scandal and buzz reacted poorly to her coming out

that was an interesting ending, I guess the show was showing the mundane and silly lives of people even amidst the tragedies going on in Ireland at the time

Overall:

This was pretty fun overall since I haven't watched much media focusing on Ireland nor do I know many Irish people, so it was fun to get to peek into the culture and vibe of the 1990s Ireland through this.

Also, the girls are all so different and also terrible in many ways; I do love it when characters are people I'd hate it real life and I don't think I'd be able to stand any of these people (maybe Clare, maybe James), so it's fun to see them go around wreaking havoc. My favourite characters so far are Clare and I think Michelle; also Katya even though she was only there for 1 ep

Rating: 7/10

Season 2

Binged a season yesterday, let's see if I'll do another one today

Ep 1 (Mar 25)

please the protestants and catholics

i love the bit about James being a girl and Orla being a boy

Ep 2 (Mar 25)

this new teacher is very attractive

Ep 3 (Mar 25)

oh yeah I've seen this on twitter or something the whole thing with the nun in the bus and vodka suitcase

Ep 4 (Mar 25)

scones

Ep 5 (Mar 25)

the "there are no height restrictions... as far as I'm aware" moment

lmfao the white friends being like <3 asian girlie in our group <3 and the asian girl being like foh until she realizes one of them is a lesbian and she's like wait i did want a gay friend even though it'd be ideally a gay fella

IRA cease fire

Ep 6 (Mar 25)

naurr James is leaving for London? pls him saying he's developed Stolkohm Syndrome

omg James Derry Girl at heart

naurrrr why is this so randomly emotional? I don't want James to go away and maybe be let down by his mother in the future

yesss okay I was like I want James to like being a girl the way Orla likes being a boy and now he's happily claiming he's a Derry Girl

Still very fun, though there were some that weren't as good/funny in the middle. Liked the little emotional moment with James at the end. Love Orla being a girl who's a boy and James being a boy who's a girl (and this time he agrees to being a Derry Girl rather than them slagging him for being a girl/gay).

Rating: 6.5/10

Season 3

Ep 1 (Mar 26)

T.T not them helping thieves and robbers burgle the school

and getting arrested

lol for a sec there I was wondering if the dad and grandpa are gonna end up getting accused

Ep 2 (Mar 26)

okay lmfao the "you've seen my driving instructor pick me up at school a dozen times" "i thought he was just a creep" "and yet you didn't intervene?" "you seemed happy enough" <- me about some of these BL boys

Ep 3 (Mar 26)

Ep 4 (Mar 26)

naurrr I got nervous that there'd be a romance subplot when James and Erin went to prom together but I thought we escaped it, so I wish James didn't apparently like Erin and now they're kissing agh

oh yeah the incest clip lmfao

Ep 5 (Mar 26)

lol that's cute the mothers in 1977

Ep 6 (Mar 26)

a Halloween episode? I thought ep 4 was the spooky episode

lesbianism hehe

AN ANEURYSM?! and death?!

Ep 7 (Mar 26)

this ep is twice as long as others. this is the series finale right, no season 4?

oh dang everything's changed so much

Clare lives 20 minutes away, there's some sort of agreement about peace and governing ability and letting people out of prisons, Michelle's brother had killed someone and gone to prison and so she has a vested interest in getting this to pass whereas Erin doesn't think he or others should get out

oh is the nun making sure she stays in the school

they're all voting for Yes the good Friday agreement. i suppose i should search it up

Overall:

I don't know how to feel about the ending - it was touching but certainly a different tone than the other episodes, but it still had enough of the same vibes. It was good season but I'm not yearning for more.

Rating: 6.5/10

#derry girls #ep by ep commentary

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