#I haven't drawn these guys in like forever

[cinnamon-flame]

I've been in a mood for updating character refs and I knew I had to redesign Sunstone/Daybreak for a long while now, so I'm posting this ref dump with comparisons just to fun. Sunstone is Starlight's brother so I kinda wanted him to look more similar to her (at least in his sandwing form). His alter ego also got a slight redesign. Also I thought that Halcyon (design credit goes to the lovely @snaill-dragon of course) deserved a better ref, since the last one was a bit confusing.

[chicinlicin]

oh hey it’s resa and goixe

[turbotheduck]

i just think grumbo fusion's redstone would be super innovative, inefficiently efficient, and very VERY touchy

(emerald fusion design by @d0not-disturb, grian/mumbo designs and au by @chrisrin 👍)

[sentientpinkfrosting]

ACHE

-but make it a yaoi romance novel cover

(っ˘ω˘ς )♡

[sunflawyer]

GOOD MAYOMORNING FRIENDSSS!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

so so sorry for being ia lately waaaah (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ stuffs been tough lately BUT!!! IM ALMOST DONE AND I HAVE A WIP TO SHOW YOU!!!

LOOK AT ALL OF THESE!!! im going back fr...

[bussinpoots]

Getting asked at the Gym by my trainer: "So what was your reason for deciding to work out like this?"

What I said: "Just want to finally get on top of my health." What I meant, "I feel dumb for this being my mini fitness dream, but I always wanted to be one day asked to in one of those mr beast hide and seek videos. i dont even want the money (i do need it but this is a silly dream im talking about) I just want to be the guy who is absolutely batshit insane but seemed normal when first on camera but is like. hiding gymnastic king god. My proudest accomplishment is that I've never been found in a hide and seek game. It's lame as hell. I want it so bad. Do I think this would ever happen? fuck no. But I pretend in my mind it will and it gets me up to work out bc what if mr beast turned up at my door like "Hi niche faceless guy who used to stream 10 years ago but didn't keep up with it. be in my video." then he flies me to America to be in a video.

My second dream for when the first one doesn't get me out of bed is "the circus will never hire you if you wont even get out of bed"

either way im still clown

[uzurakis]

childhood friend! reader who's somehow getting closer with itadori due to them being both bubbly and chatty; this obviously doesn't go unnoticed by megumi.

he can feel the resentment gradually building up within him, but how could he ever dislike itadori? sure, the pink-haired boy tends to steal the attention of his childhood friend (that megumi may or may not secretly harbor feelings for) but hey, could he blame reader for being drawn towards such a passionate and humorous guy?

(winks) i'm leaving you to decide which direction this scenario should go hehe

n. i can promise you that i understand very well which direction to write this, nonnie (winks aggressively). hope this serves justice for your req <3

fushiguro megumi had always been reserved.

a man who preferred the company of his thoughts to the noise of the world. he had grown accustomed to solitude, finding solace in the quiet corners of his mind where he could retreat from the chaos of the outside world.

but then you came along, a beam of light in his otherwise bleak life. you were his childhood friend, the only one who had managed to break the walls he had put around the core of his being. and as he saw you grow closer to itadori yuuji, a friend of both of you, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease creeping into his soul.

as you walked into the bustling classroom, your eyes immediately found their way to itadori’s infectious smile. he was chatting animatedly with you, his laughter filling the room like a burst of sunshine. you’ve been drawn to his magnetic personality, his energy infectious and his jokes never failing to bring a smile to your face.

fushiguro megumi, your childhood friend, stood off to the side, expression unreadable as he observed the interaction between you and itadori. there was a tightness in his chest, a pang of jealousy that he couldn't quite shake off. he had always been reserved, quiet, but seeing you gravitate towards someone else, someone so different from him, it stirred up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within him.

you realized that as the days went by, you were spending an increasing amount of time with itadori because of his carefree nature and enthusiasm for life. you found yourself having fewer and fewer talks with megumi; his presence receding as itadori's charm dominated your days.

however, megumi always had a bad taste in his mouth whenever he saw you laughing with itadori. he was unable to ignore the bitterness that was boiling under the surface and the sense that someone so affectionately pleasant had taken his place. on the other hand, how could he blame you? how could he hold it against you for being drawn to someone who lit up the room with his mere presence?

one day, while you sat with itadori during lunch, megumi couldn't help but overhear snippets of your conversation. his heart clenched painfully as he heard you laugh, your voice mingling with itadori's in a way that felt like a stab to his chest. he turned away, the turmoil within him threatening to consume him whole.

later that afternoon, the man found himself alone with you for the first time in what felt like ages. the air between you was heavy with unspoken tension, a distance that seemed to grow with each passing moment.

"hey, megs," you started, breaking the silence with a hesitant smile. "i feel like we haven't talked in forever. you okay?"

his throat tightened at the concern in your voice, the guilt gnawing at him as he struggled to find the right words. "i'm fine," he muttered, his gaze flinching away from yours.

you weren't persuaded, though. "are you sure?" you pressed, your eyes searching his for any signs.

megumi swallowed hard, his chest tightening with a mixture of longing and frustration. "i just.. i miss us, you know?”

“i miss how things used to be."

your expression softened, a pang of guilt tugging at your heartstrings. "i miss that too, megumi," you admitted, reaching out to gently grasp his hand. "but things change. people change. it doesn't mean we can't still be friends, right?”

friends, he heard it right.

his heart ached at your words, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. “yeah, friends..” you were slipping away, drifting further and further out of reach, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

just when the heaviness of the stillness weighed heavily on you and megumi, there came a voice from across the hallway.

"hey, [name]! come check this out!"

itadori's cheerful voice pierced through the tension, and you turned towards him with a bright smile, leaving megumi standing alone in the echoing hallway. “yuuji’s calling me. later!”

megumi watched as you pulled your hand away and hurried off to join itadori, his heart sinking as the distance between you grew wider with each step you took. already on a first-name basis? it took megumi and you some years to get used to addressing each other by your first names, but just a couple months with itadori?

thus, it was in that moment, with the sound of your laughter fading into the distance, that he realized just how much he had lost.

a sense of resignation settled over him, the bitterness in his heart mingling with a profound sadness. he had always known that he could never compete with someone like itadori, someone who effortlessly captured the attention and affection of those around him.

as he stood there, alone in the empty corridor, megumi couldn't help but wonder if this was the beginning of the end. if perhaps, despite his silent protests and unspoken desires, he had already lost you for good.

because fushiguro megumi had always been reserved.

and there’s nothing he could do about it.

@uzurakis — rqs are open <3

[bengiyo]

Hello 👋

All of your favorite horniest sex scenes?

Hello! I've been busy, so this has taken forever to get to!

I don't always need the guys to bounce around on each other and gyrate enthusiastically for it to out as horny. Oftentimes, I find myself more drawn in by the building desire between the characters, and the explicit acknowledgement of release. I like when the sex feels like it's also revealing something to us about the characters. I've highlighted many of these before, but it's fun to revisit.

Ghost Host, Ghost House Episode 4 Couch Scene

I will never get over this scene, and especially the director's cut of it. These guys knew they liked each other almost instantly, and it was so rewarding to see them reach a place where they could express that. Bonus points for discussing the logistics of gay sex.

This show has been on Gaga and YouTube for a while, but it's also now available on Viki!

La Pluie Episode 6 Floor Scene and Episode 7 Bed Scene

I liked this scene so much that I wrote about it. Again, there's a lot of anticipation between these two, and you can tell how far it's built up because Patts has to dial it back down when Saengtai wants to stop. It's especially important to me because Saengtai does blow Patts in the next episode. If you're on iQIYI, there's an extended cut of that at the end of the video lists.

Mood Indigo: The Post-Funeral Scene

These two are so horrible for each other, but damn are their sex scenes compelling. Theirs are the kinds of scenes only possible between two people you know can never work long term. I was so glad that we got back to Haruhiko in Playback, and the first thing he did was blow Rio in a car. If you haven't seen the Novelist, and you're itching for hornier BL, it's right there.

The End of the World With You "You're Soaked"

From the same team as The Novelsit, we got to experience baby's first fuckboy in this incredible show. Again, I love when we get scenes with couples who aren't ready to work, because they're allowed to have raunchier sex. They get to amp the intensity of the physicality because they need to give a reason why someone was so caught up and missed the warning signs. I actually love the car scene later as a more romantic intimacy scene, but we're focusing on horny here.

Jack o' Frost Birthday Sex

A common theme here with the Japanese offerings is that people are allowed to have more interesting sex scenes right before they split. This is true even in Jack o' Frost. We get a really great oner from the leads that precedes their breakup and Ritsu's accident. I think this might be my favorite of this list because the actors have to build the entire scene together since there aren't any cuts.

Gameboys 2 Bed Scene

Cairo and Gav are one of my favorite pandemic couples we got on screen, and I was quite relieved for them when they finally got to have this moment. We also confirmed they switch, and I love that.

Wedding Plan: Namnuea Showing Off His Stamina

No list for me would be complete without including them. I really loved seeing two gay men go at it after clearing out all of their misunderstandings. They had already had sad goodbye sex. It was thrilling to see them having enthusiastic, athletic sex. This also leads directly to one of my favorite emotional payoffs for a closeted character of all time.

Kiseki: Dear to Me Reunion

The second couple stole this show, but damn if I didn't love the way these two played out sex across multiple years between their characters. These two really suffered, and I really love the way Taro Lin and Hsu Kai captured the changes between these two as Bai Zong Yi grew and matured. This really was a solid sex scene.

Love Class 2: Sungmin and Joo Hyuk

I just really wanna thank them for reassuring me that if Korea wanted to, they could deliver.

Sleep With Me Jeans Scene

I am not a lesbian, but I share their beliefs. This scene was so good. I loved that these two, who have different kinds of disabilities, were able to have a very fun sex scene. I really like when it's clear both characters want to be there.

Only Friends: Boston and Top in the Car

Despite my eventual disdain for this show, I was impressed with Neo and Force for giving this incredibly selfish sex scene between their characters. This entire scene is about injured egos, and it's a standout scene from this show. We won't discuss the rest of the show here.

Thanks for the ask!

[justporo]

Still more fluffy relationship headcanons for Astarion and Tav

You guys seem to really like these, so I'm keeping them going for as long as I can. And - I know I said I couldn't do requests atm - but when (if?) I run out of ideas how about you can send me prompts for headcanons on specific topics?

Here we go though, more small ideas and moments for these two idiots!

Astarion is a tease, always flirting with you (for the most part), always kissing you or touching you, always whispering something dirty directly into your pointy ear; sometimes even doing that flat out while you're out in public... with people around.

Deep down he's always wondering though when the day will come that you don't want to be with him anymore; you know that and you try your absolute best to remind him every moment of every day that you want to be with him forever, slowly working to turn the "when" into an "if" and then making him forget altogether

You are basically a street cat, but Astarion? He's a man of culture! And he loves to take you out and frankly just goddamn educating you

He takes you to museums, telling you in incredible detail about the artworks and the displays because he knows his history, also - he's incredibly smart; you enjoy not only him enjoying himself talking about stuff he likes but also just eat it up, eager to learn about stuff you never had the chance to before

Dancing: That's another thing. He knows all the dances: from the silly court dances Wyll showed you once, to the much more interesting and intimate ones where you're flush against one another's bodies

He teaches you, being so close to him, you can't stop fawning, holding you like you're something incredibly fragile and precious while moving you ever so passionately

You've never done this and are incredibly insecure at the beginning, but "Don't worry, love, let me hold you and I'll guide you, you just look pretty" - but then you pick it up quickly and it becomes one of your favourite pastimes with him

You have artful skills of your own though: since you're a former thief and had to stake out targets and places sometimes for weeks on end, you had a lot of time on your hands and taught yourself to draw a long time ago and drew whatever you had to observe: a nice compromise between keeping your eyes on whatever mattered and still having something to do

So, you finally draw him, something you'd promised him a long time ago when you merely had started travelling together; you spend a whole night just to get the first portrait right and Astarion gets uneasy because can't you just let him have a little sneak-peek?

When you show him the drawing, he's just speechless - "What, even more magnificent than you remembered?" you tease him, but you see how his fingers are tensing holding the paper and there's a single tear on his cheek when he looks and smiles at you broadly "No, love, just flustered about how you don't seem to get my chin right"; you call him a liar softly and he sniffles and draws you in for a really long hug and he thanks you deeply

Ah, I also love using these to sneak in facts and ideas for my Tav and helping me flesh out a backstory and more details for their story and relationship. Also don't mind me sprinkling a little angst on there.

Of course, the drawing idea has been imagined many times before and rightfully so, Astarion deserves it. But it's... I haven't drawn really in a loooong time but he really makes me want to give a portrait ago. I had to get it out for personal reasons.

[ranticore]

Longwing siren harpy VS Cuinn Vs Ironwall harpy showdown. Who wins??? (They can use their in-world technology I guess)

we're asking the real questions now. let's compare three individuals. I'm shocked I haven't drawn an up to date image of one of my actual Siren longwings.. all the other ones still have tails but longwings don't have those anymore

longwing siren harpy: Miakef From My Blog Header

advantages:

the navigational visor acts to shield the face and eyes

has hands to hold things (weapons maybe?)

quadrupedal stance means a strong and explosive take-off

disadvantages:

flight tends to be slow and hyper specialised

claws are practically vestigal, they have no natural weapons and would struggle to carry substantial manmade weapons

the body of a longwing harpy is extremely small, fragile, and light, they're the ultralight aircraft of the siren harpy world they would rather fly away forever than fight

Ironwall Eagle Harpy: Pascal Leclerc (taking a break from being a horse)

advantages:

it's a yes for natural weapons, no beak no problem. catch these wing-hands

owns a phone with internet access so he could cyberbully you

might call the cops

disadvantages

just a big bird with a guy's face and tits

no natural desire to fight

deep well of insecurity means he's vulnerable to psychological attack

its just like whatever man who cares

Ama Plains Eagle Harpy: it's Cuinn/Ice Storm Over Kosa with the steel chair

advantages:

bloodthirsty and eager to kill, has a biological drive to fight

yes for natural weapons, for artificial weapons i guess he could use a sharpened stick

could get the rest of the flock to attack if you're not a personal rival

deep well of insecurity means he is more likely to ramp up the aggression in response to psychological attack

disadvantages:

as a regular cob harpy he's not that big or strong. and kings are rare on a population level so you'd be more likely fighting a cob than a king

no lips 😔 unkissable

no hands! he doesn't have hands and must use his mouth and feet for tool manipulation. you could just grab him while his feet are busy

overall size comparison (with placeholder longwing):

they're closer in size than i thought. longwing max height is 6ft according to my siren height chart but that's if the neck is stretched out, and cuinn is also 6ft if he stretches. ironwall harpies are comparatively and nonsensically gigantic because i was like fuck it what if i didn't care about flight dynamics for once (and then i put them back in later because i couldn't help myself)

ultimately i think the ama plains harpy is most likely to win because he wants to win and his continued existence as a king (if he is a king at time of fight) relies on him winning. longwing harpy is not built for combat at all but the visor technology would flag any opponent before they were within a hundred miles so they could just leave. ironwall harpies might be big and could probably match an ama harpy if they wanted to but tbh they're too busy worrying about their mortgage (& in pascal's case, which bandmate wants to kick him out)

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Wade coming home to find Logan taking a nap with all of his adopted daughters who are most certianly whole grown ups by now, Like Yukio, Laura, Rouge, and Jubilee as well as Mary Puppins.

And you know what? It's the happiest nap he's ever had but also highly stressed out when they leave. Wolverine fathers usually don't stay with their kits, but obviously, he's an exception, individually snuggling them all only to instantly sit up, claws drawn the second the door opens and he gets a knife to the head.

"Hey do you guys-... OUCH...Rude."

And Yukio is like, "oopsies." But Logan just gives her an approving nod and a "good one, kid."

"Well, fine. No burritos for you then. Jeez."

Between sparing with them and hearing, "You haven't changed a bit, huh?" 4 different times, him giving Laura a scratch on the scalp in which she almost cries because that's the exact spot her dad used to do it, Yukio telling him stories about Wade and Negasonic, and Jubilee and Rouge talking in their own slangs while hugging him (and yet... somehow, he can understand them. It's weird. Like he just autoamtically gets their accents and odd words.) Everything is almost perfect. About as perfect as you can be with 6 different mutants in one tiny appartment.

Al isn't really sure what's happening this entire day, but enjoys the company and knows for a fact that these girls have Logan absolutely trained, correcting his manners and his language, telling stories from way back when, stories about their current lives, makes him eat real food not just liquor. Etc.

But when they leave, She can hear him pacing the apparent like a stressed-out tiger, back and forth, back and forth.

"Why did you lie?" She asks, and he stops and is like,"What? I didn't - " She smiles and goes. "You told them you'd be fine, and now you're making a new path in my floors."

"I dont know okay!?" But he does know. Oh he knows so much but he doesn't know how to describe it on an emotional level. He misses them already, he misses having something to protect, what if they get hurt without him? What if- but Puppins comes over and yips at him. Its time for her walk.

This is when Logan realizes that the others are strong enough to take care of themsleves, that hes trained them too. Well.. or at least a different version of him did. But puppins didn't. Puppins needs him. And will forever. This idea alone brings him great comfort, but he still invites his daughters over as much as possible and visibly gets upset if they say they're too busy. It was hard enough getting them together in the first place. Everybody say thank you, Wade, for making those calls since Mr. Manly man was too emotionally distant and embarrassed to do it.

Welcome to dad life, Logan. It's a hell of a ride.

[trashy-corvian]

"Both? Both is good"

Just noticed a common thing among my friends~

I haven't drawn you guys in forever i hope you like it

@future-mrs-diavolo @boozye @moemoemammon

[thereaperisabitch]

My Joel Miller fics recs from 2023

I’ve planned to do this since before Christmas, but life caught me up, so that's why I'm here rushing to finishing this before the reveillon party. 2023 was a very tough year for me, in different ways, and this stories were my refuge and my balm during good times and bad times, so this was the way I found to honor all these incredible authors who made my life better this year.

To the authors: you guys are the most amazing and sweet people ever, I know that I'm not active as other readers and I don't reblog your works enough - and I'm sorry for that, I wish I could shower you with the praises you guys deserve.

Hope this will make up for all the comments and reblogs that I haven't give.

And to the readers who find this recs: most of these stories are series and most of them has age gap and are Joel Miller x fem/afab!reader. I won't put warnings from each fic because it would be a too long post, so click the link and read the author's warnings in each before you start to read - I'm afraid to get into fandoms because of people who give shit to authors, so please, don't be this kind of person.

Someday I'll make a part 2 of other stories that caught me up this year.

That all being said, thank you @morning-star-joy @hier--soir @frannyzooey @joelsgreys @fuckyeahdindjarin @the-ginger-hedge-witch @eupheme @bageldaddy @covetyou @theidiotwhowritesthings @atinylittlepain @imtryingmybeskar @ezrasbirdie

A stranger's heart without a home (complete)

Summary: A one night stand that later becomes a secret affair – or masterpiece of literature – all the poets and great writers ran so Doni could walk.

This is my favorite fic of all times, forever! I read and re-read it so much that I can’t even count how many times I’ve had read it, it’s my 100% comfort fic. Enemies to lovers is my favorite trope, and the way @morning-star-joy developed here it’s perfection in the most pure way.

It’s Joel on his Jackson era and it’s a perfect character development from both sides, how to people who prefer to deal things on their own learn to rely on someone else.

I also highly recommend But you know the killer doesn't understand, which it’s on-going Joel x fem! Reader also post-Outbreak in Jackson, but it’s different and addicting as ASHWAH.

A Lover’s Pinch (on-going)

Summary: a one night stand (do I have a pattern?) at the bar turns to be so much more when you discover that your fling it’s your professor at university.

The professor x student trope might be cliché for some, and by the very brief summary that I wrote above may sound like Pretty Little Liars, but @hier--soir works with those elements and creates something beyond amazing, it is like contemplate a work of art at a museum, but much better.

I’m very much obsessed with this story, that’s why I reread it with more and more frequency.

Can’t even mention the references in this story – it’s truly enriching, it makes all better, truly.

Plus: the playlist it’s amazing!!!!

Short Days, Long Nights (on-going)

Summary: Remnants of a band travelers, you and Joel find a cabin in the woods - what would be the problem with staying?

I’m crazy about this one, it’s my true love and it had 3 or 4 chapters when I started and now we’re heading to chapter 17, blessed be @frannyzooey for sustaining us with this preciosity for so long.

I'm a sucker for when there's one character (Joel) reluctant for his feelings, and if the story was only about this, I would be perfectly glad too with, too. BUT Kelli it's a genius, an amazing writer, giving me all that I didn't even knew I wanted.

It's fluff, with smut from the highest quality - with some tense moments, wich turns everything more addicting.

A Safe Haven (on-going)

Summary: Joel's quickly drawn to the vet of Jackson - even knowing she's married. Will this affair thrive? Or there's more underneath of the vet's story? (Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry for this lame summary, but I refuse to copy from your masterlist and I’m also rushing to finishing this rec today).

I was bought on the infidelity trope and the drama that comes with it. It would still be a nice story, but @joelsgreys it’s so much fucking talented that she wrote the most beautiful thing ever!

It has tooth roting fluff, drenching panties smut and heartstopping angst! All perfectly written and balanced.

I also love how Ellie it's also a crucial character for the couple's history and I really adore how she's attached to Peach.

Special mention to Fall Into Temptation and Strawberry, that lived rent free in my mind since I've read those.

Seams (on-going)

Summary: Joel pays visit to Jackson's seamstress after a trouble with his too-tight jeans – and it's only heaven from that on, won't say more.

Now I call @fuckyeahdindjarin ✨Queen of the Build Up✨ and that's because the way Cee builds up the sexual tension between characters it's undescribable.

Cee is such an excellent writer, not only in Seams but on other stories too she's gives a rich description of details that makes the reading flow better, it's like knowing you looking at gem stone.

Breakout (complete)

Summary: Boxer!Joel AU when he has to train a fuckboy who happens to date a sweet little thing.

Well I'm a fan from @the-ginger-hedge-witch for a while, she wrote one of the best Javier Peña fics ever (which turned into a book and that's fucking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!) and other amazing stories, but this one got me hooked so bad.

Clearly I have a pattern because I LOVE when there is an obstacle for the characters to stay together, in this case, a relationship (I already spoiled that her boyfriend sucks, but I don't think it's spoils the story development) and Ren just atests she's a wonderful writer - now book writer, blessed be her 🙏🏻

And the idea of Joel using his fists it's already apealing, am I right?

I also recommend Friendly Fire, that I love just for knowing that in this, Ren envisioned an Aries character for reader - but also the premise of the story is great, too.

In The Woods Somewhere (complete)

Summary: living alone in a cabin at the apocalypse gets less dull when a teenager appears with a handsome injured man.

I've read this since a while, but it marked me. @eupheme created such tenderness between the characters - they know he and Ellie can't stay, which makes the affair even more apealling.

I’ll know It when I see it (on-going)

Summary: Joel as a porn star in its golden era who meets Lucky, a rising star in porn - chemestry goes beyond the cameras.

@bageldaddy deserves all the shout out forever because this here it's golden. They're both are porn stars and I could be hot just for this, but of course there's feelings involved - and the way they struggle to fight against these it's what makes this story even more perfect. Shout out to the one shot Sundown, as well, it’s completely wonderful.

Something wretched about this (complete)

Summary: Joel Miller it's a self appointed pharmacist in the QZ, and fucks you when you don't have how to pay for your father's medicine

Whoring yourself for meds sounds bad? In this story it's hot af! It's filthy, each chapter explores different sexual practices and it's THE. BEST. THING. IN. THE. WORLD!!!

@covetyou it's the most blessed being for writing a perfection like this, seriously. I loved every single chapter of this, loved Joel being an asshole and a slut. I can't tell enough how much joy this story has brought me. And lo it's better than Santa, because she provides christmas gifts for the nice and naughty, with Freeze-thaw (smut with fluff) and Baubles (smut with FILTH) - I can't die before I try the balldo, I didn't even knew this, didn't think that this could be possible - but happily it is, and this one shot it's perfect in every aspect.

Take Care of You (on-going)

Summary: Joel it's a sugar daddy in this AU and appears in your life to make all better 👀 He doesn't charges for the sexual part of the arrangement, but he's irresistible - so what will you do?

The ideia of a sugar daddy it's extremely appealing to me because that's all I wanted, you know? Some rich hot guy telling me I don't need to work and paying everything to me - that's living! Okay jk, but I started reading this when things caught up badly at work, so it was a sweet refuge.

@theidiotwhowritesthings it's the perfect writer! It's the perfect slow burn that makes you thirst for more and more!

Apothecary (complete)

Summary: Summary: Joel falls in love with the "witch" from Jackson and it has its perks and struggles.

I LOVE Practical Magic, it's one of my favorites witch movies so to read something inspired on that it's great -but @atinylittlepain it's such a wonderful, talented, amazing writer - so we were all blessed with this masterpiece.

It has fluff, angst, smut - stupid people being scared about what they don't understand and etc. It's very sweet, Joel also doesn't understands about her, but can't help being drawn. And Ellie it's a natural, their relationship here, how they grow to be a family ... it's utterly sweet. Special mention to Only Lovers Left Alive (another movie that I LOVE),  The Heyloft and the masterpiece Down to The Ankles (it's perfection and it's inspired in Bones and All, other film that I truly love).

Come home (on-going)

Summary: when you've lost everything and everyone, you reach to Jackson - and meets a ruggedly handsome who you can't help being drawn to.

I've read this for a while, as well, but I still think about this story often. It's a slow burn - which I love (in case you haven't noticed from the stories listed above) - and it's so sweet, the blossom of a friendship that turns to more, their relationship with Ellie ... It's been a while since it was uptaded and I hope @imtryingmybeskar it's okay, because this story it's lovely and I really wish to see and ending for them.

Catalyst

I'm gonna just summarize that it's a threesome with Joel and Frankie Morales from Triple Frontier, that's it - if that ain't reason enough for you to read, idk man.

I didn't even knew that I wanted it, that I needed it - until I read it. I find threesomes hot af, but I don't tend to enjoy when it's with characters that I love too deeply - don't ask me why - but in THIS ONE, GOD FUCKING DAAAAAMN!

It has filth, of course, but there's also fluff - which I find inevitable when it's about Frankie. In the chapter Here, especially, @ezrasbirdie builds perfectly of the struggles that I imagine for a threeway relationship, reading it was sad, hot and lovely.

Hope all the links work, 'cause I don't have time to check now 🙃

Sorry if my comments felt weird, if I forgot to mention something, as I've said above, I intend to make a part 2 of recs someday soon (hopefully).

I wish everyone a happy new year 🎆🥂🎇

[nights-at-crystarium]

You know what, I assume that people always read my pinned, or notice the pointer "new reader? start here" in every new Fragments' episode. I might be deluding myself. So hi hello lemme TALK ABOUT MY COMIC.

Before I get too rambly (and I mean RAMBLY), here's a quick intro. Fragments is a comic focused on feels and slice of life, made by a queer guy, aiming to ~character study~ the main cast (Vivi, Raha, Alisaie, Feo Ul) and fill in the gaps in canon (or linger in canon moments that needed more air imo), the tone ranging from angst to fluff to meme. Good punches require a good windup, so please don't expect angst anytime soon :3c

The story's segmented (fragmented, heh) into episodes. Episodes 1-11 take place in ARR, you can enjoy them with no worry about spoilers. Episode 12 onward is ShB, with all the spoilers and lorebending.

My storytelling style assumes you haven't only played through ShB, but know it like the back of your hand, i.e. it's for nerds and thinkers. Of course there's plenty of silly moments that don't require any deep knowledge, but the overarching story does. Often I skip canon events, only hinting that they took place, simply because I don't wanna retell the msq 1:1, I've got plenty of original scenes waiting to be drawn. You're in for a treat if you like obsessing over emotional and moral implications of things. And, yes, this's a story about a morally grey mc. Don't expect to be spoon-fed "and this's why that thing's bad, kids".

Currently I've outlined all the main story beats up until post EW, so it's like, not being winged as I go. Yes I refine things here and there, but I know where I'm going. I'm going ham!!!! With the lorebending post ShB. Initially I didn't plan to, but the more I learned about Vivi and personally grew as a writer, the more courage I got to "divorce" from canon. The general xiv story may still be good wherever it's headed, but it's not suited for an established wolgraha, so I'm making food for myself.

Everyone imagines the lil scenes from their wol's life, I'm taking that a tiiiiiny step further. Fragments tells a cohesive story that's looking to be the longest project at least in our corner. I can and will hyperfixate on this for years.

I started out just like many others, being hit with ShB like a truck, I wanted to put a catboy under a microscope and rotate him forever. Although I'd already been drawing for decades, I didn't have the comic-making skills yet, or eloquence to write the dialogue, so I spent the first half of 2022 self-studying, just because I needed a mouth to be able to scream about my ship.

Vivi didn't exist prior to my obsession with Exarch. He was made for this, he started out as a reagent (or a foil, now that I know fancy writing terms) for a rich and fun chemistry, and keep myself entertained for years, first and foremost.

Me, a fool: okay let's make a guy that falls in love with Exarch in this particular moment, what kinda life must he have led to- Me: ....oh no

The chemistry quickly bubbled up and exploded in my face, involving not only Exarch, but other characters (first as a means to subtly tell about Vivi, then they also demanded their own screentime), and here I am, sitting with a massive script on my hands, drawing my blorbos every day. Thanks for enabling that btw.

I care about characters a lot. I ask a lot of whys and hows. I'm critical-minded and burned on many bad stories that did their characters dirty, and I wanna be an opposing example. What I'm doing is extremely ambitious and risky, yes, but I can only invite you to tag along and see if I stick to my word.

The internet's a cruel and unforgiving place nowadays, and here I am, pitting my passion against what feels like decaying humanity. I'm making this comic to keep myself happy above all else, being sincere and cringe because life's too short to be anything else.

Thanks for reading this, and if you haven't yet, read Fragments here!

[atlasofthestaars]

me: tbh bi-han isnt actually in my top 5 at all

also me:

IDK GUYS I JUST THINK HES KINDA FUN TO DRAW (sometimes)

i uh. was like hey. lets do a lil sketch to get back into drawing and i tried doing more but i really. really. didnt wanna render out clothes + pull up refs so u get this unfinished mess haha. take ur guys man pls. i'll probably finish an sketch drawing of him with ACTUAL good reference stuff one day but I just wanted to just mess around and get back into the groove since I haven't drawn in like. forever.

smthing smthing his clothes r based off his alt skin in chapter 13 if u pick him but i DONT have that alt in game so I couldn't pull up an easy ref if i wanted to.

Anyways New Era stuff probably coming up in a few days ty for letting me take a small break <3

[yoonia]

Chance Encounter | 06

⟶ Title | Chance Encounter

⟶ Summary | Sometimes your fangirling can cause you a lot of problems. Add alcohol and your clumsy thumb into the mix, followed by waking up to an accidental DM getting sent on Instagram, and your life changes forever. The entire mess leads you to an odd form of friendship with the man who you had always admired. But what happens when your two worlds collide, blurring the lines between reality and dreams? Will you be able to return to your real-life once this is over?

⟶ Pairings | Christian Yu ( DPR +IAN / Yu Barom ) x reader ⟶ Genre | Teacher’s Aide!AU, College!AU, Fluff, Future Smut ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature theme and upcoming smut chapters; Mentions of alcohol consumption, sexual tension, flirting, accidental text messages with revealing pictures ⟶ Word count | 9k words ⟶ Story Masterlist: Chance Encounter | ⤎ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ⇢ ⟶ Main Masterlist | Mailbox | Taglist | Music Playlist | Ko-fi ⟶ Cross post | AO3

⟶ Author's note | It's finally here! After a long wait, I have finally returned with this story. I think this would be the perfect time to reveal the reason why I haven't been updating this series in a while and that is...*drum roll*...because google docs lost the entire files for the rest of the chapters lol I'm back, though, and I have every intention to finish this series because I still have a ton of ideas to share featuring this amazing man. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Six

“Are you guys still at the mall? Seriously, did you have to take so long to pick your—bathing suit?” 

Pressing your hand on your mouth, you muffle the sound of your laughter while Christian continues fuming on the other side of the call. “Bathing suit? Damn, you sound older than Momo’s Dad,” you almost choke as you tease him, unable to stop yourself from laughing. 

“Okay, bikini, swimsuit, whatever,” he says, grumbling on the phone, causing you to laugh harder. 

“It’s not that we lost track of time because of the bikinis,” you answer him with your voice lowered, not wanting to draw any more attention from the people roaming around you when you had already drawn enough eyes on you just by giggling to yourself. Having people glancing your way is already making you feel uncomfortable enough, even more so when it feels like you are hiding a big secret from the world and you have an irrational fear of getting caught growing on you. 

Speaking to Christian like this makes you feel that way. It feels like you are keeping an important secret from the world. Although you have to admit that this is exactly what he is—a wonderful secret that you want to keep to yourself for a bit longer. 

Thinking about this puts a smile on your face. One that stays with you when you cheerfully add, “We just had a little detour while shopping, that’s all. We’ll be back on track and finish things up in no time.” 

Just as you are saying these words to him, you cast a glance towards the other side of the store where you currently are. There, you see Momo leaning over one of the glass showcases lined inside the store with rapt attention, eyes glowing over the collection of expensive branded watches lined up properly on display. Right beside her, Em is basically doing the same, and it is almost comical to see their expressions mirroring one another, with the bright lights coming out of the glass display reflecting on their faces to make them shine. And neither of them is even bothered by it, too mesmerised by the flashy collection that they have been eyeing on. 

“Is ‘detour’ a code word for saying that you guys are getting carried away at the mall? You’re not trying to buy everything you see on display, are you?” Christian speaks on the phone again, and you are forced to stifle your laughter as you listen to what he is saying. Even without seeing him, you can already picture his pouty face and the curious frown that he normally gives you when he is trying to understand something that he couldn’t get a good grasp on, which often happens when you share some of the things that you do when you are not with him. You turn to look at the watch counter, watching silently as Momo is helping Em choose between a couple of watches that the storekeeper has personally picked out for them. 

“No, it’s an actual detour. We sort of encountered some kind of—distraction.” A smile comes to your face when you recall what had happened. To remember the reason why you and Momo had ended up in the exclusive watch store with Em, the last person on earth that you would expect to be hanging out with. 

It was quite awkward at first to have Em join your shopping date, when you barely knew anything about her except for what you have learned through the few cordial encounters you had with her, especially after the cryptic comment she made about the gift she is looking for. 

But you are thankful that you had Momo here with you today, as she managed to defuse the situation, knowing exactly well about your habit to overthink and worry about the things that you don’t fully understand. Once Momo jumped in to break the ice, you finally gained enough information to not be as wary as you were when you first met Em earlier. 

“What kind of gift are you thinking of getting?” Momo asked her while the three of you were browsing through the shops and did some window shopping before making any decisions about where to go, and Em—having no knowledge of the turmoil happening in your head at that moment—nonchalantly answered, 

“Something that would give a nice message as a congratulatory and send-off gift.” 

Momo stole a glance your way then before asking. “Send-off? Is it for a friend of yours?” 

“Yes,” Em said, looking at the two of you with a bashful smile that told you more than any spoken word could. “He’s a really special friend of mine who is moving to the States sometime next month. He got this terrific offer that would allow him to make more music, which is basically a huge upgrade to what he’s been doing here lately,” she explained, then she turned to you with a request, “He’s also a good friend of Rome. I mean, Christian. Since they’ve been spending time together quite often lately, would it be okay if I ask you not to say anything to Ian when you see him? I don’t want to spoil the surprise too soon. We’ll be leaving for the States together once the date is set, but my friends and I are planning to have a send-off party the weekend before. I’m thinking of giving the gift to him then.” 

The smile that came to your face was almost spontaneous. The relief that you felt must have been palpable, yet you couldn’t get yourself to reel it in. Though you did manage to control your composure when you promised her, “Your secret is safe with me,” while you tried to qualm the feeling of guilt for having suspected the relationship that she has with Christian. 

On the phone, Christian gives you a sarcastic scoff and says, “Riiiight—” 

“It’s not what you think, I promise.” 

“No, I get it. Those discount sale offers can be quite intriguing,” he says, obviously having the wrong assumption about what you are truly up to. You wish you could explain, yet this is just another secret that you would have to keep from him. At least until the end of the month, when Em would finally be able to reveal her surprise gift for her special friend. “Look, just go ahead and have fun with your friend. You deserve it,” Christian adds, though his voice sounds lighter, no more of his feigned annoyance is heard. In its place, you can hear his smile, which only draws your own to appear. 

“Thank you,” you say to him. “Aren’t you supposed to be busy right now?” 

“Yeah, I’m in the middle of a break, but we’re getting back into it in a minute,” he says, already sounding a bit distracted just as the noises behind him start growing a bit louder. “Call me when you’re back. Maybe, you know, you can give me a little preview—” 

Knowing where this is heading, you quickly cut him off before he could say the words, “Goodbye, Ian.” 

He chuckles on the phone. “See you later, baby,” he says, before ending the call, all while your heart is racing so violently in your chest for the endearment that he had just given you. Immediately, your face grows hot, and your mind seems to be swirling up to the air with the joy blooming inside you. 

Still feeling as if you are on cloud nine, you almost miss it when Momo turns to call you over, “I think we’ve found the perfect one. Come here and take a look at this, try to see if you like it too.” 

Putting your phone away, you rush towards your best friend and your new shopping companion, Em, who appears just as giddy and excited as Momo is to show what they have found. Seeing their combined reactions, you cannot help but share the same sentiment, and it adds a bit of pep to your footsteps as you come to join them in finding the perfect gift for Em’s secret crush. 

“How about this one?” Em asks you as she shows you yet another pair of bikinis that seems a bit too revealing compared to what you are used to. You make no comment about her choice of outfit as she hands the delicate pair to you, choosing to take a good look at the piece to appreciate her genuine effort in helping you to find the piece that might fit your taste more. 

Ever since the three of you came into the store, both Em and Momo have been assisting you to find the perfect pair for you to buy, as they took notice of your indecisiveness right away. Everything you are seeing in the store has been lovely that it is making it impossible for you to choose, yet the two girls have only been of little help to you. Because when Em keeps choosing the most revealing and extremely daring ones she could find in the store which makes your face burn each time you try to imagine yourself wearing them, Momo has been choosing the ones with the brightest colours and flashy frills that you would never be able to wear without getting your face burning in embarrassment.

This time, however, the piece that you are holding in your hand seems to have caught your eye. It is a solid coffee-coloured triangle set with beaded strings, and a halter top that covers just a bit more skin compared to the previous ones she showed you. The piece sure looks like a major upgrade from the small black piece that she showed you earlier with the top which barely covered your boobs and the thin strip bottom, and while it looks revealing, it seems a bit more appropriate to wear at Momo’s house this weekend—where some or any of her family members might be present—compared to the other ones she has shown you so far.

“You know what? This one actually looks quite nice,” you say to her, acknowledging her taste in style and suddenly believing that you might actually look good in something that seems quite daring. 

Your comment seems to please her as her face instantly brightens. And for some reason, it makes you just as happy to see her getting excited for you. This new feeling is quite—odd. Not more than an hour ago, the air of awkwardness that was present had made it hard for you to start a conversation with her without Momo’s help. You cannot deny that the underlying doubt that you felt about her relationship with Christian had made you feel inferior while being around her. Added with the way she looks and dresses and how she wears her confidence so openly, something that is quite the opposite if compared to you. 

But that feeling is no longer present now when you have finally gotten to know her a bit better, and once you got to see her bubbly personality that seems to fit your and Momo’s energy perfectly.

Once that bridge has been crossed, you begin to see and understand why she is able to get along with Christian and his friend group. The more you spend time with her, the more you are able to see how kind and friendly Em really is. And that despite her pristine appearance, she could be quite—clumsy. 

Much like you are.

Perhaps knowing that you aren’t completely different from one another has been the reason why you are beginning to feel comfortable hanging out with her without anyone else’s helping you.

“Great! I knew you’d like it. The set comes with a cover-up too,” she says, plucking the thin piece of coverup from the rack that appears to be a part of the set for you to try on. “Here, try them all on together and see if it’s something you’d like. Oh, and try the black one too,” she insists, quickly snatching the similar set in black before handing them to you along with the coffee one. She looks at the sets you are now holding and sighs dramatically. “I still think the previous one was hotter, though.” 

“Oh, no,” you quickly say to her, shaking your head when you recall the one she mentioned. “The black one you picked for me was not a bikini top, those were nipple patches.” 

Your comment makes her laugh. “Yeah, I admit, those were more daring than the rest. But I have a couple of them at home and they’re really comfortable. And I bet you’d look really good in them.” 

You almost grimace as you try to picture yourself wearing those tiny things, though you hide it the best you could, knowing that Em has rocked those types of bikinis perfectly and is evidently loving them to bits. You know this because she has shown you a few photos of her wearing them from her social media, and you have to admit, she does look good wearing all the daring pieces you saw that you almost feel envious of her confidence.

Em leaves you be as you make your way to the fitting room at the back of the store, only to suddenly return before you can get there so she can slip a couple of new items into your arms to add to the pile that you are about to try on. 

“Here, try on these too while you’re at it. Can’t hurt to know how they would look on you, can it?” she says, while you only roll your eyes and laugh at her.

“Fine, if it makes you happy.” 

Sliding into one of the vacant booths, you finally get to take a look at what you have gotten with you so far. Aside from the two complete sets that Em got you earlier, you also find the black top which you classified as nipple patches among the pile. This one is adorned with gold chains tying the top up to hang around your neck, making it look a bit more classy compared to the ones that Em initially found when she first started helping you. 

Shaking your head and chuckling at Em’s sneaky antics, you put the tiny thing away to have a look at the others. Other than a new pair that looks similar to the black and coffee sets that you liked earlier, you find another bikini set which Em managed to slip in. This one looks just as revealing as the other ones, if not just a bit more, with a brighter colour that makes them pop in your eyes. You hold up the red halter bikini top which comes together with a thong-like bottom that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. Although, there is a sheer long skirt that comes with the pair, what seems to be a coverup that looks to be sufficient enough to cover the bottom half if you need it. 

Surprisingly, you find yourself liking this piece as well. Just when you are pressing the pieces against your body just to imagine how it would look on you, you hear a knock at the door before Momo speaks to you from the other side. 

“Em told me that you’re in here. So, have you finally found something you like?” she teases, while you can only shake your head and laugh. 

You look down at your stash with a sigh. “Will you be patient? Perfection takes time.” 

A scoff is heard from your best friend, and you can almost imagine her rolling her eyes at you. “Or you’re just being too picky. Hurry up and try them on, then come out here so we can see it. Em already approved the ones I picked.”

You smile at your reflection in the mirror when you recall Momo slipping into a fitting booth with an arm full of bright-coloured bikini sets. “Why should I show you mine if I didn’t get to see what you’re buying?” 

“You’ll get to see them later when we’re paying for them. I only want to see yours to make sure you’ll look hot in my jacuzzi,” she says, making you laugh. 

“Okay, let me try these on. Now leave me alone.” 

You hear nothing from Momo other than a simple, “Okay,” and you start choosing the ones you want to see yourself in. Surprisingly drawn towards the red bikini set, you immediately pick that one to try first. While you can never possibly imagine yourself wearing it this weekend, you want to see if it would be something that you could wear sometime in the future. 

The thin fabric feels like silk on your skin, but they are surprisingly comfortable. You are originally not one to wear something this revealing, always have been choosing the modest ones whenever you could, yet you can definitely see yourself in this set even if it may not happen for a while. 

“Which one are you trying on now?” you hear Momo asking, and you absentmindedly answer her while admiring your own reflection, turning left and right to see yourself from every angle, making sure that the piece actually works for you before you can buy it. 

“It’s the red one that Em found for me.” 

“Really?” you can hear Em squealing from outside, excited to hear that you are trying out the piece that she seems to like. It makes you stop to hear her voice, realising that she is also out there, crowding the front of your booth with Momo. 

“Seriously? Are you guys actually standing out there together waiting for me to show these?” 

“We just want to see them,” Momo whines, while Em chimes in curiously,

“So? How do they look? Do you like them? Don’t they look gorgeous?” 

They actually do look gorgeous, and it makes you look more appealing while wearing them. You feel the sudden urge and excitement to show them, especially Em, just to make her happy to see you trying this on. Yet, thinking about stepping out of the booth right this minute makes you feel a bit insecure. 

“Um—do I have to step out and show you guys? They’re really—well, I feel exposed,” you hesitantly admit, feeling every bit self-conscious about stepping out of this booth.

It is one thing to wear this on a beach or while you are lounging in a fancy jacuzzi. It is another thing to be flaunting it around while being in the middle of a mall. With strangers around you to see. Momo seems to get this when you hear her snickering from the other side of the door.

“Then take pictures of them and send them to me so we can have a look.”

“Ooh, good idea!” Taking out your phone, you start taking pictures of yourself. Posing right in front of the mirror, you find the best angles that would be able to show the set that you are wearing, before covering your bottom half with the sheer skirt and taking photos of yourself wearing the complete set as well. “Hang on, let me try out the others before sending them to you.” 

You barely hear Momo’s response as you quickly change out of the first bikini set, then repeat everything again as you try out the other two which you liked earlier—the coffee and black ones that you would feel more confident to wear. Feeling cold, you rush to quickly send all the pictures, adding a short comment for the coffee-coloured one in the message, ‘I’m getting this one for the weekend.’

Once you are done, you place your phone aside and change back into your clothes as you wait for Momo’s reaction to the pictures you sent. When you hear nothing from them, you simply figure that they might be still looking through the photos and think nothing of it and focus on sorting out the pieces you tried on before taking them with you. 

But then Momo calls out to you from outside, getting you confused when she asks, “What’s taking you so long? Did you take the pictures yet?” 

You stop in the middle of tidying yourself up. “What do you mean? I sent them all to you already.” 

“Really? I’m getting nothing on my phone though.” 

Wondering what the hell went wrong, you pick up the phone to see what happened with the messages you sent her. Only to have your stomach dropping once you open your message app, finally realising what you have done. Because you already did send out the messages and the pictures, except that you had not been messaging Momo the entire time. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—” you curse at yourself when you see Christian’s name and his profile picture on top of the message thread. Panicking, you quickly begin deleting all the photos, even though deep down, you know that it would be no use. Minutes have gone by since they were sent out, and while Christian would often take a while to check on his phone whenever he is busy, you can already see that he had seen the pictures already, even if it had only been mere seconds before you started deleting them. 

A sharp gasp and a desperate cry leave your lips as you drop down to the floor, feeling like your legs are giving up on you, drawing Momo’s concern when she can hear everything from outside. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Covering your face with your palms, you groan defeatedly before answering, “Nothing’s wrong. Just give me a minute.” 

With a deep breath, you pick up your cell phone again to call Christian, who answers the call within the first ring, confirming your suspicions that he has been holding his phone the entire time to witness your shenanigans. The photos showing off the outfits you were trying on wouldn’t be such a big deal if you hadn’t been showing that much skin, or the funny and sultry poses you did to show off the sets which were originally meant for your best friend, or the fact that you have not even been dating this man for more than a day for you to be showing him—all of these things together. 

“Did you open the text message? Please tell me you didn’t get it,” you immediately question him even before he could finish saying hello.

“Mhhmm—” is the only response he is giving you. 

“That wasn’t supposed to be for you,” you continue blabbering, hoping for any slight chance that he might have not seen them and you had been quick enough to delete them before he could. “I’m so sorry. I was too shy to come out and show them to Momo when she asked to take a look so I took the photos for her instead.” 

“Mhhmm—” 

“What does that mean? Oh my God, you’ve seen them,” you worriedly question his lack of response and groan deeply when you realise what had happened. Though knowing that he had no doubt seen the photos only makes you grow more concerned about other things. “Oh no, you’re still working, aren’t you? Did anyone else see it? Is someone there with you?” 

Christian chuckles softly on the phone. “Yes, I’m still at work. Don’t worry, Dabin had just stepped out of the room when I opened your text.” 

“Okay—” you softly answer, though your voice fades to a muffled groan as you sit back against the booth and hug your folded legs as if it can help you hide from the world, which is clearly not missed by Christian. 

“What’s wrong? You sound funny.” 

Sighing, you refuse to raise your head as you answer, “Nothing. Just trying to figure out how to bury myself so I would stop feeling embarrassed.” 

While you are busy covering your burning face, you can almost hear the smile on his face when Christian speaks again, “I guess I have to get used to this, huh?” 

“To what? What do you mean?” 

Chuckling softly, he answers you with a teasing voice, “Getting stray messages coming in when least expected. I don’t mind it, though.” 

Burying your face deeper into your folded knees, you let out another groan. “Please stop. God, I wish I was at least drunk.” Thinking of how often this has happened between the two of you, you can only sigh to yourself. How could you have forgotten that you have been messaging constantly with Christian while you were out the whole day? “Fucking stupid. I should’ve paid more attention.” 

Your comment makes him laugh, though he quickly tries to console you by saying, “Hey, it’s fine. The messages are gone on my part too. I was just about to ask you about them when you finally noticed and they started disappearing.” 

“Thank God I was quick enough, though,” you say with a sigh. “I’m sorry again. Please forget that this happened.” 

You hear him chuckling softly on the phone. “Forget? Hah—Now, that would be a bit hard to do,” he teases, making you smile. It is quite funny how easily he makes you feel calmer, when you were so close to crying over your own stupidity merely moments ago. 

“Ian, please.” 

“I’m just teasing you, baby. Don’t worry about it, okay? Besides, no one else had seen them and they’re no longer on my phone. Although, I wish I had saved them—” 

Your cheeks have been growing warm with how gentle he is when speaking to you and calling you with this new endearment that he has chosen for you, but that quickly changes with his teasing that you roll your eyes. “Really?” 

He laughs. “I’m joking, baby. I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, I can always keep them in my memory—” he says, while humming softly as if he is closing his eyes to recall the photos again, “—or wait for a chance to have you showing them yourself for a private preview.” 

“Hah, we’ll see about that, Mister,” you scoff at him, making him laugh. But as you find yourself feeling better and feeling less like an utter idiot, you cannot help but whisper to him, “Thank you, Ian.” 

“Anytime. Now go on and continue shopping with your friend. Don’t mind me while I’m here trying to work and not think about those photos. I’m going to be dealing with a ton of stuff here anyway, so I probably won’t remember any of them by the end of the day,” he says, drawing a smile to your face. You feel grateful for the way he is able to help you qualm your trepidation and dread simply with his gentle voice and comforting words. 

Yet, in a typical fashion of his, Christian reminds you of his mischievous ways as he teases you for the last time before ending the call, “Hey, babe? I think I liked the red one the best on you.” 

Past the entire shenanigans happening during your shopping spree, followed by the busy week where you had to go through classes and assignments while Christian was keeping up with work, the weekend finally comes. 

There was nobody home when you arrived at Momo’s house in the morning, as her family members were mostly out for the weekend, so you and Momo got to enjoy the entire house to yourselves and hang out in the new jacuzzi for as long as you like. While lounging in the hot water during the afternoon, the two of you talk about the day you spent at the mall. You share with her your apprehensions about Em and how your feelings changed after spending time with her and getting to see what kind of person Em truly was. Then Momo shares her curiosity about the secret crush that Em harbours and who it might have been directed to. 

“Could it be Dabin?” she curiously asks you after chugging down her cold beer, while you shake your head. 

“Not sure. She only said that it was one of Ian’s music producer friends, and Dabin has a lot of projects coming up with Ian so I don’t think it would make sense for him to leave,” you tell her, to which Momo groans softly. 

“Yeah, that would be hard to figure out then cause we know Christian has a ton of friends, and I doubt you’ve met every single one of them already.” 

Hearing this makes you smile. “You’re right, he does have a lot of friends and connections.” 

“Speaking of Ian,” she suddenly says, turning to you with a sly grin on her face. “Are you excited about tonight?” 

Your eyes grow wide, and you immediately feel your nerves spiking when you are reminded about what is happening tonight. After having only met Christian in person twice the entire week and only during classes, with both of you being so busy with your daily schedules, he finally called to propose taking you out on a date once he is done with his project this week. Once you found out that Momo has another plan tonight after hanging out with you, both you and Christian agreed to set the date for tonight, once he is done with the day and after Momo drops you back at your place when she leaves at sunset. 

“I’m more nervous than excited, to be honest,” you admit to her, while Momo waves her hand at you. 

“It’s fine. Everything’s going to be just fine,” she says, consoling you in her own way. “You’ve gone out with him before, so it’s going to be nothing different than those times, right?” 

You ponder about it for a moment, and it only makes you frown just to think about seeing him tonight. 

Because, no, absolutely not. It wouldn’t be anything like the times you shared with him previously. 

Because this time, it would be a date. A real date. Not just a simple meet-up at the coffee place like the times you had to meet him after class to discuss about the class assignments, or when you came with him to the work party, or the night you joined him and his friends for drinks. This is different. It would be just the two of you—no friends, no assignments, no other people around that he has to meet up with as he is handling his business. It would be just you and Christian doing whatever it is that he has planned for you. 

“I don’t think there’s anything for you to worry about, though. The guy likes you, and you like him too. I’m sure things will be great. Just like how it’s always been. Both of you are similar in a way, so I’m sure he’ll make it comfortable for you instead of making things awkward for a first date.” 

You rest your back against the side of the jacuzzi, with the hot water bubbling against your sides, massaging your toned muscles and rubbing away the tension you have in your body. You relish the pleasure you are getting while taking in what Momo is saying. She wasn’t completely wrong. Things with Christian have been flowing so easily. You have always been so comfortable when you are near him, while he seems to have always been able to sense your mood, always keeping up with your pace instead of going about things in a more rushed and lavish way. 

Perhaps the only thing that makes you worried is the fact that things have also been proceeding the way you had never once thought they would. How everything that is happening now feels like a dream, and there is a deep fear haunting you that once you are with him, once everything between the two of you changes to a new direction, you would be forced to wake up and face reality, to see that nothing is as beautiful as what your mind keeps telling you to see. 

Just like what happened back then with—

Shaking away your worries, you tell yourself that things are different now. Things have to be different. Because you have no idea how you would be able to deal with it if things turn the other way around once again. 

“You know what? Maybe you’re right. I’m worrying too much,” you finally say to Momo, making her smile with relief, not realising that you have also been consoling yourself by saying this.

“Good. That’s the spirit. Just enjoy everything and have fun with him. I’ll help you get ready if you want to and we’ll make sure you’ll be knocking him off of his feet once he sees you tonight.” 

Closing your eyes, you try to relax and give in to the comforting warmth around you, trying not to overthink and let your agitation takes over when you are supposed to be having a good time. Both now, as you are lounging in this fancy jacuzzi without having to spend a single penny, and later, when you are about to see the man who has always managed to cause your heartbeat to race wildly in your chest. 

You remain in the hot tub only for a while later, stepping out just as both of you start feeling more relaxed and you are ready to continue the lazy afternoon pampering each other and relaxing on her cozy pool-house. It isn’t until sunset when you are finally ready to leave, with Momo dropping you off before she heads out to where she needs to be. 

“Remember—” she says, once you stepped out of her car, “Don’t be so nervous and relax, enjoy your night with him. You won’t be able to have a good time if you’re worrying too much.” 

“I know. Thanks, babe,” you answer her gratefully, somehow finding yourself believing in your own words this time.

“Anytime,” she says, before quickly adding, “Oh, and wear something sexy!” 

“Goodbye, Momo,” is all you say to her as you shut the car door close, and you soon watch her car rolling out of the parking lot, leaving you all on your own to get ready for your first night out with your new boyfriend. 

[06.58 PM] From Christian: I’ll pick you up around eight. Will that be okay?

[07.03 PM] To Christian: I’ll be waiting ;)

[07.04 PM] From Christian: I can’t wait to see you :)

Just when you had thought you were ready for your fateful first date, the text that Christian sent you only makes you feel on the edge. Once again, you feel tense. The tension that you feel as you are reading his texts may not be as daunting as it was before, when your imagination kept running wild and your insecurities kept taking over with still many hours left before the date happens, yet it doesn’t mean that you are not nervous enough about tonight. 

The thought of meeting up and being alone with him tonight seems nerve-racking. But just like how you managed to get over your worries earlier, you keep repeating the same comforting words in your head like a spell as you continue getting yourself ready to see him. 

Everything is going to be okay. 

You continue reminding yourself of this as time continues to pass. The clock is ticking, your heartbeat keeps racing, and your feet would not stop pacing each time you try to relax. You can barely able to get yourself together with nothing distracting your running thoughts, but by the time eight o’clock rolls around, you have gathered up enough composure to stop pacing around your living room and pulling at your dress as you wait for him to arrive. The long trails of discarded clothes that you left behind in your bedroom when you couldn’t decide what to wear would have to wait until you return home. Right now, all you can think of is how you are going to keep it together once he is here.

A knock comes at the door, and it makes your heart do funny things even before you get to see him in person. After giving yourself a brief pep talk while shaking your trembling hands to make them calm, you finally open the door. Your heart begins doing that funny thing again, skipping a beat and rushing at the sight of Christian standing right in front of the door, waiting for you, wearing his dashing smile on his face while being surrounded by an air of confidence that makes you look at him in awe.

Stunned speechless, you say nothing to him, giving him a chance to take the sight of you in. His eyes trail down on you with an appreciative look. Going from your face to your dress, and it makes your skin grow warm under his perusing gaze. Seeing that you are still unable to speak, a smile expands so subtly on his face as he greets you first, “Hey.” 

“H-hey,” you stammer in response, which only makes his smile grow wider.

“You look great,” he says, making your cheeks burn even hotter. 

“Thanks,” you chuckle softly. “You too.” 

Christian laughs softly at this. “Are you ready? I have an Uber ride waiting for us downstairs. I hope you don’t mind. I figured if we were both going to have drinks afterwards—” 

You look up to him as he speaks and feel an instant sense of relief. Because it suddenly becomes quite obvious to you that he might be just as nervous as you currently are when you notice him rushing as he speaks, and he doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands when he keeps slipping them in and out of his pockets or running them through his immaculate hair. 

“I’m set to go. Thanks for thinking ahead,” you quickly reassure him before he could continue with his rambling, and a visible look of relief appears on his face. 

“After you,” he says as he steps aside to let you join him once you have your jacket and purse with you, locking the door behind you as you leave for the night.   

It is a warm night, so the two of you decide to have the ride drop you off a block away from your destination so you can enjoy the short walk there, with the sight of the city’s main river accompanying your walk. As you walk side by side with him, his hand entwined gently with yours to keep you by his side and the conversation flowing slowly as you talk about your day, you find yourself steadily getting more and more comfortable. The tension that has been following you the whole day soon fades, while the familiar ease that you have often felt when you are with him starts coming back to you. 

It doesn’t take long before you finally reach the restaurant that he had chosen for tonight’s date. Situated right at the end of the boardwalk that you have been walking on and not too far from the clear river is a quaint pizza place, partly hidden from the main road but still open to the view around the neighbourhood to allow you to enjoy the comfortable atmosphere around you. He finds a table for two outside, quite a distance away from the sidewalk that you can have your own space without having to worry about the passing crowd. A soft tune of music is playing from the restaurant, giving you a pleasant welcome as you both begin perusing the menu. 

He makes a suggestion to order their signature dish, the cheese pizza, which you are completely fine with, while you choose the appetiser and one of their pasta plates to share between you two. As he hasn’t been drinking alcohol as often lately, Christian chooses a glass of their special draft beer to taste and a bottle of soda to go with his dinner, while you order a glass of cheap wine that costs nearly the same as his orders. 

This is all happening so fluidly—how you talk about the menu without worry and choosing what the two of you would like to have and share—that it feels almost natural to do something like this. There is no hint of awkwardness existing between you, helping you to forget that you are on an actual date instead of casually hanging out with him, even if the feeling lasts just for a brief moment. 

Your stomach has been in knots since you left home with him. While the short walk here and the conversation that was shared from then until this moment have helped a little to put you at ease, he would constantly bring back the tension either with his gestures or by being particularly flirty. Each time his fingers come brushing gently against your hand, sparks instantly start flying in the air around you. Your skin would tingle when you are talking to him and he leans closer to listen with rapt attention, and your chest would feel tight when his eyes are looking deeply into yours. 

And then he reminds you the reason why you have always been so captivated with him and how you began to harbour a deep crush on him, as he shares with you about everything that he has been up to lately—of the long hours he spent filming with his crew and the long nights he spent working on post-production, and also about how he is slowly diving back into making his music again. It is the moment you look into his eyes when the flutter in your chest returns, when you get to see the clear sight of his love and passion for what he does, the look that is so captivating to see that you are once again lost for words. 

The waiter returns to your table just then, setting down the drinks that Christian ordered before pouring the red wine into your glass. Once he is done, Christian leans forward to get closer. 

“So—how about you? You said this week has been busy for you,” he inquires so suddenly, sounding genuinely curious to know what you have been up to this week while he has been busy with his own thing and you haven’t seen each other after attending his last class. 

“Oh, just the usual,” you answer with a shrug. You tell him everything about the classes you went to this week and all the mundane things you would usually do during the day. But then as you begin sharing with him about your assignments, and the exciting things you do during your part-time job in the night, your excitement grows. He should be able to notice it from the tone of your voice, or the way you keep twirling the wine glass in your hand as you speak. Either way, there seems to be no way Christian would miss the way you are enjoying these things, as he keeps his eyes on you the entire time, looking deeply at you as he listens, taking in everything you are sharing with him. 

“Speaking of your work—” you hum, suddenly recalling the day you joined him during filming. “I kind of missed being in that environment, to be able to see you work and see how you handle things in the set. Your crew seems so fun to work with too.” 

Hearing this makes him smile. “You’re right. I’m lucky to be working with a group of talented people. Working with them has been fun,” he says, before he suddenly tilts his head and you see him getting curious about something.

“You know, I’ve been wondering—” he starts as he leans closer over the table to gently ask you, “How did you get here?” 

You raise your eyebrows. “You…picked me up. At home,” you answer him, feigning innocence, even if you have quite an inkling of what he is trying to ask. 

“I’m not talking about being here,” he chuckles softly. “How did you end up studying film production? Have you always been so interested in making videos and movies?” 

You bite your lips. Not feeling sure how to answer him at first. “It’s quite a long story,” you finally tell him. “And a part of it might be a bit embarrassing to share.” 

Christian gives you a reassuring smile. “I got time. And I won’t laugh, I promise.”

Sipping your wine slowly, you try to decide where to begin. Once you gather enough courage, you finally admit to him softly, “Actually, I could probably say that I got interested to dive deeper into this because of you.” 

Christian’s eyes grow wide in shock, obviously not prepared enough to hear this. “What—?” 

Chuckling softly, you begin to tell him everything. “When I started college, I knew I was either going to study art or film, but I have to admit that I had no direction to know where to go. I’ve always loved movies and old films, and I loved the artistry behind creating music videos. I’ve also been drawn to documentary videos for a long time, but I never knew if I would be able to take up the challenge to dive into that world. And then I remember stumbling upon your videos during that time—” you stop briefly as you recall finding his raw videos before his crew grew into what is known today, but it was seeing him sharing those raw videos and making the process behind them seem like such a fun thing to do that got you so drawn into the entire process and finally getting to love it as well. 

“I tried to see if I would like it, so I started by learning and doing photography while saving up to buy my own camera set. Then you started sharing your travel videos and your post-production process online, and it got me interested in learning more about photography and film. And I was right about it being so much fun. I found the kind of challenge I was looking for in film major.” You stop for a brief moment and cannot help but smile as you recall those days when you finally had your mind set on it. “Let me just say that switching from art major to film production was the best decision I’ve ever made in life.” 

You turn to smile at him just then, realising that you finally get the chance to do the one thing that you have always wanted to do. That you finally get to do what you had always imagined you would be once you meet him in person. “Thank you for inspiring me, by the way,” you say to him with a grateful smile, before adding playfully, “And if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t end up taking the post-production course to finally meet you in person.” 

Christian has been in such awe as he listens to your story that he seems to be lost for words. You feel worried that you might have been oversharing with him and that you are making him uncomfortable with your confession. A part of you is relieved that you get to say all of this instead of keeping them to yourself, but another part of you is afraid that he might feel burdened by the admiration you have for him, and you are worried that it might only push him away. 

But seeing him getting flustered makes you feel intrigued, curious to know how he feels about what you had just said to him. Clearing his throat, he rubs a palm over his lips to cover his bashful smile, though you can still see the crimson shade materialising on his skin. 

“You’re flattering me too much that I have no idea what to say,” he says with a nervous chuckle. Noticing your silence as you are waiting for his response, and perhaps noticing how shy and tense you seem to be feeling, Christian scoots his chair closer until he is within inches of you and reaches for your hand, once again igniting the sparks between you as he takes your smaller hands between his larger ones. 

“But I’m glad that finding my videos was what led you to me,” he gently says as he rubs his fingers against yours. “Or else, we probably wouldn’t be sitting together like this tonight, and I wouldn’t get to know your amazing personality and talent.” 

This time, you are the one who is flustering in the middle of what was supposed to be an innocent conversation. With his hand on yours, his deep eyes looking intently into yours, and his presence being so close, you are not only feeling sparks rising between you, but also heat simmering in the air that you start feeling a different kind of tension. The kind that gets your chest filled with delicate flutters and your body growing warm. 

The food arrives, granting a short moment of reprieve from the rolling tension as he finally leans away and the two of you soon dive into the beautiful meal while the conversation between you lightens.

“So,” he says while eyeing you expectantly as he slowly devours his food. “Tell me more about your, um—little adventure at the mall.”

You immediately laugh at this. “There is nothing more to share. If any, I think I may have already overshared with you by accidentally sending you those photos.” 

Christian softly chuckles, and he glances at you with a sly look dancing in his gaze. “I have no regrets of it happening,” he says, while you can only shake your head. 

“I’m sure you don’t,” you taunt him in return. 

Despite playing along, he probably suspects that you are still feeling uncomfortable about the mishap that happened that day. He reaches across the table to once again cover your hands with his. “Don’t worry, nobody else saw those photos, I promise. And you deleted them from both devices already so you won’t be able to find those photos anywhere on my phone, I’m sure,” he says, reassuring you. Though it is hard to feel immediately relieved when you see the playful grin growing on his face soon after. “Lucky for me, I have quite a good memory, so I won’t have to look for them again to remember everything. Like the coffee-coloured one that you said you were buy—ow! I’m kidding!”

Rubbing his upper arm which had just become the victim of your reflexed slapping, Christian laughs, pleased to see your reaction. You tease each other a while longer while you continue enjoying your meal, with his hand occasionally reaching out to you at every chance he gets, from brushing against yours to entwining his fingers between yours whenever he likes it.

When casting your gaze down on your joined hands, your heartbeat would start racing rapidly. Everything still feels like a dream that you want to pinch your skin so badly to see if you would wake up from this, yet you can still feel his warmth through your entwined fingers, letting you know that this moment is real. 

Then you would look up to see his face, to see his smile from up close and listen to his voice as he chats with you, and you realise that he is real. 

Instead of allowing your nerves to take over and have yourself be intimidated by his presence, you choose to savour this moment. Because the more you open yourself to him, and the longer you are together with this man, you finally realise that the infatuation that you feel growing between you isn’t simply a figment of your imagination. That it is truly there, and it is just as real as the two of you, present and blooming steadily even without any of you realising it. 

Once dinner is done, Christian takes you to another walk just to have more time with you. This time, he chooses to make a stop at the small dessert spot not too far from your place and start from there. 

You can feel his eyes on you while you are slowly licking at your ice cream, savouring the taste and this serene moment you have together as you walk on the side of the street, with nobody paying attention to any of you. 

“Have you been enjoying the night so far?” Christian suddenly asks you once you arrive at your place and he is now walking you to your door. 

“Do you hear me complaining?” you question him, drawing a smile to his face. “I had fun. I think it was the most fun I’ve had in a while, to be honest.” 

Chuckling softly, Christian nods his head. “Same with me. I always love being with you,” he admits slowly. “You always make me feel—” he sighs, as if having trouble finding the right words to say. “Comfortable with myself, if I have to describe it with words, and that’s not even half of it.” 

Soon enough, you are standing right in front of your door, with your hands entwined and he is not showing any sign of letting you go. Deep down, you also feel like you are not ready to part ways with him. Your chest feels heavy as you are not ready for the night to end this soon. 

So you turn to him, smiling as you nervously ask him, “Do you want to come in?” 

His smile grows, and there is something showing in his gaze that looks quite unfamiliar to you when he says, “I would love to.” 

He follows you as you walk into your warm home, still with your hands interlaced with one another. The moment the door is closed right behind him, Christian reaches out to you and pulls you to him, before he finally does the one thing he seems to have wanted to do all night long, as he soon leans down, capturing your lips in his to a deep, long kiss that takes your breath away. 

And the heat that has been simmering between you the entire night erupts into flame.

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