#I haven’t read issue 2 yet actually I’ve been putting it off lmao don’t come for me

[i-dont-r3member]

I know I’m so so late to this but I’m so conflicted on knight terrors Robin cus on the one hand I rlly want to see Jason and Tim work together because the POTENTIAL IS THERE FOR A RLLY GOOD ARC but on the other hand the way DC goes about it just feels so unnatural like pls stop why

[jimines]

Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused

This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.

Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:

It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.

Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.

This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.

About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time. 

After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:

To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.

Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it. 

She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.

Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:

Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?

Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers. 

Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.

Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.

That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.

Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:

And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out. 

I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.

And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.

But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with. 

I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.

There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced. 

And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.

My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.

I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.

Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.

[uservillanelle]

Killing Eve ― 3x04 (Review)

Last episode was... something else for me. Episode 3 will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart because of Villaneve’s kiss and all that, but this episode. It has to be my favorite this season and if they keep up like that... not only will we have a PERFECT season, but it will be impossible for me to pick a favorite episode. I’ve watched it probably close to 10 times already and I’m not going to wait any longer. We have bunch of stuff to discuss! So let’s start!! (This will be a LONG review, so I apologize in advance lol!)

The Titles

It’s so interesting that they chose this season to experiment with episodes. Back in episode 2 we had the very first additional credits sequence which I, personally, liked a lot. However, maybe they didn’t like it as much? Since they didn’t use it anymore. I wonder why they haven’t placed the credits sequence in the premiere instead? It would still be unpredictable gesture, so I’m still wondering about it.

ANYWAYS! By titles, I meant the NAME titles this episode. The past two seasons we were used to having titles that indicate the names of PLACES e.g. RUSSIA, LONDON, TUSCANY ect. They are still doing that, in different way, the letters are smaller now and they use this interesting “blinds” effect that the letters appear and move like blinds would if we opened/closed them? Really nice touch, I must say. It’s something different, something we haven’t really seen before in the show. 

Now the names. I’ve read a couple of people saying something like “why the name titles? we obviously know who the person is? so what’s the point of that?!” I found that quite funny lol! I mean, YES, we know exactly who they are but that’s not the reason why they’re using those name titles. Name titles, in this case, are to show us WHO the show is focusing on for the time being. That also means that the normal sequence of events will be disrupted since there won’t be any scenes switching between different characters. For some reason I felt like something like this happened before but then I remembered that something like this was used in another show called Dare Me! That’s why it felt so familliar and Killing Eve is exploring that type of narrative and honestly, I dig it. Yeah, it might get confusing for some people, having to bounce back and forth between the timeline and the events, but it’s perfect for those of us who has a sharp eye for details. It’s for the viewers who analyse and put pieces together. It’s exactly what Eve is doing at the end of the day with all the kills, isn’t it? So thinking about it, makes it all even more fascinating. Damn. I’m REALLY falling for the show... aren’t I?

The titles makes it SOO much easier for me to write these reviews as they basically tell which character they are focusing on right now and that’s what I did in my reviews lmao! I’ll just follow the characters in the episode so I’m sure you guys will be able to catch up with me with no problems!

Niko

So... THE MUSTACHE IS GONE. 

I didn’t see it coming. The way they released all those trailers/sneak peeks featuring Niko made it seem like he was finally getting his fresh start and like, I had a feeling we might even get an episode fully focused on him and maybe Eve or something? So, that’s how well they mix things up. My mind, yet again, has been BLOWN. 

Before we talk about the elephant in the room, I just want to say that Niko was a good person. I might not have been a huge fan of him, but I felt IT. Speaking of fans, I think it’s normal to NOT like him because he is playing the boring husband type and obviously he stands between Villaneve. But other than that, he IS a good, ordinary person. It’s a fact and Eve knows it. Niko keeps Eve grounded, safe, STABLE. He is all those things she found boring before in season 1 and didn’t appreciate enough I feel, because she was too used to them as all of us are. 

He gets to play the part of a normal, ordinary man who got scared when he found out that his wife is chasing an assassin, who soon enough possibly murdered Eve’s colleague and a dear friend. Yet, it didn’t seem to slow Eve down nor did she notice any of the red flags in front of her face that straight up screamed DANGER. I think most of us would’ve reacted to things like that the way Niko did. Yes, we would’ve been a boring man/woman who the viewers hate, because they crave for danger and psychotic obssession filled with hatred and lust and a LOT of craziness. It’s what we crave now, watching the show and WAITING for Villaneve to happen. 

This morning I’ve been watching a few of reactions of the episode and I got to explore different perspectives of people reacting to the same thing. I love that. I want to know what other people see in things, you know? And so... one of the people made a point about KE writers killing off whoever they want, probably to surprise the viewers as they probably don’t know how else to drive the story. Meaning that Kenny or Niko didn’t have to die. But that’s the whole point... one thing is to claim that they are doing whatever they want with the show, but another is to actually COME UP with ideas for a decent, I mean.. not even decent, AN AMAZING plot that people would be shocked and amazed by at the same time. You can only go this far without having to touch any of the main characters, you know? There comes a time when you have to make big, serious choices in terms of the story and this season Suzanne is GOING FOR IT. Like I mentioned in my previous post here, the first two seasons were amazing, but it only NOW feels like things are getting real. Suzanne took over and she’s getting shit done. She’s taking this responsibility and making huge important choices that will shift the main plot AND Villaneve in certain direction and so far it’s going sooo smoothly and brilliantly. 

I mean, yes, Niko deserves to start over and have a nice life but the moment Villanelle found out about Eve... Niko’s fate was decided for him whether he liked it or not. And having him simply disappear from Eve’s life AND from the show as if nothing... I’d see it as waste of character’s potential. So instead of not having Niko around but have HIM affect the story in such a profound way, I think killing him off was a great idea. This way... his character gains so much more meaning and it helps to drive the main story forward, but most importantly it will change and affect Eve in ways we have never seen before. So, I think I’ve read somewhere that Owen McDonnell (Niko) wanted his character to go out with a bang, and he truly did. Yes, it was a very brutal, shocking death but it was definitely a very strong one.

Now, the soundtracks STRIKE yet again. I’m talking about Niko’s soundtrack, Dear Diary by The Moody Blues is soo well fitting for his character while showing him trying to start over with his life. It carries this... sort of bittersweet feeling, but at the same time it’s so... freeing? And the lyrics speak his story without Niko having to say anything at all. 

“ Woke up too late. Wasn't where I should have been For goodness sake, what's happening to me?” 

Yeah, he WOKE UP a bit too late and realized that the life he had wasn’t really for him anymore.

“So many people by the score Rushing around as senselessly They don't notice there's people like me”

And we basically see him drive through the town and watch people going with their lives and not really notice him for who he is now, for what he had to go through. Probably none of them had to go through so much trauma and had their lives in danger the way Niko has.

“If they weren't so blind, then surely they'd see There's a much better way for them to be”

Perfect description for Niko the previous two seasons. Now that he’s “woken up” I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought that way. Again, this show picks the soundtracks for a reason and I’m not sure if in first two seasons the songs described and spoke instead of characters, but this season they are really going for it. 

Eve

Oh boy, where do we start?

So... from now on Eve spends her nights at Bitter Pill office. I mean, after being shot by a crazy assassin girlfriend, who, found out where Eve’s living now, it’s more than understandable for her to NOT want to stay in her apartment any longer. But staying in the office is not the best idea either. I mean, she still can go back to her apartment to clean up and all that? Guess not this day. Which happens to be her BIRTHDAY. I was convinced that Villanelle sent her the cake of a bus was only to remind her off their mindblowing kiss, because let’s remember back in 1x04 Villanelle had just murdered Bill and threw a birthday party to Konstantin. And it wasn’t his birthday. Yes, she tried to get on his good side, but I really thought this would be yet another example of Villanelle’s behavior. Turns out.. it IS Eve’s birthday... and my mind is blown yet again. I NEED to know what day is her birthday. Like, seriously?! And.. Niko hasn’t messaged her despite it being her birthday. Like.. you two have huge issues still, but hello? It’s your wife’s birthday... or maybe he forgot? But here is Villanelle not forgetting about Eve’s special day... and the fact that it’s a goddamn bus... WE GET IT, VILLANELLE, YOU’RE A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

Before the cake arrives, we have a scene of Eve cleaning up in the bathroom, checking out her bruise and then the moment with Bear. Everything made total sense. Eve brushing her teeth, smelling herself, probably aware that she’s in desperate need for a shower, then again smelling her hair until Bear points it out for her. Yes, SMELL is the reoccuring theme in Killing Eve. So that was alright. Everything was going smoothly UNTIL Bear spotted the UNDERWEAR. Now, I did some digging to find a confirmation that it indeed was underwear and not some random piece of clothing or whatever... and in one of the recaps online they did say it was underwear. My question is... WHY? Why did they include THAT specific bit? The fact that Eve needs a shower was established more than ONCE, out loud and through a solo scene in the bathroom. So it got me thinking... and by thinking, I almost immediately got an idea... If it’s still not clear for you, let me remind you just how the last episode ended... with Eve sitting on her bed listening to Villanelle’s recording with her eyes closed. And now... the underwear being spotted and throwin in a bin and all the smell? Okay, I’m so going to say it now. Eve masterbated while listening to Villanelle’s voice. Okay. To me it happened and the underwear bit is a confirmation of that. And if that’s not the case... please let me know because I NEED to know what the hell did that bit mean. But until someone does that... I already know what happened and I’m happy with it. 

Now the cake moment. So not only does Villanelle know where Eve’s apartment is but where she works?! This gurl is putting some EFFORT for her girlfriend and on top of that buying a very expensive cake which Eve threw off the rooftop moments later. The reason for that is.. Villanelle. Duh. I was completely mesmerized by that scene. Again, THE SOUNDTRACK. I love, love, LOVE this score that was playing during the scene. It’s probably another new addition to Unloved album, but if anyone has seen it somewhere or has a link, please let me know!! The lyrics do all the work in this scene too...

“Set me free”

It all started in season 1 episode 7 when Villanelle told Agniya that she’s free to go and do whatever she wanted to. She replied with “I don’t want to be free” so she was killed off. Now, Being FREE has been mentioned SEVERAL times this episode. Including the lyrics in the soundtrack AND Sandra Oh talking about Eve trying to FREE herself from the Twelve and basically from the life she has been living before. Such a huge theme for Killing Eve. What does it mean for Eve to be free? Is it the same thing as it is for Villanelle? Again, in the scene with the accountant’s wife, Bertha, Villanelle tells her “You’re free now. You can be whoever you want.” and the other replies only with “But.. I don’t want to be free”. What an iconic parallel. So, for Villanelle, being free is being alone, as it seems. And in this case Eve is desperately clinging to Niko because she, like Bertha, doesn’t want to be free. Or more like.. she THINKS she doesn’t want to be free. So all those small gifts coming from Villanelle including the cake tells Eve that she CAN be set free. And.. as we can see from how the episode eneded.. Eve is now finally FREE. 

She opens the box soo carefully, not knowing what to expect from Villanelle and then sees the cake. Immediatelly gets flashbacks to their moment in the bus and how they fought and most importantly, KISSED. And next thing you know... we see how a gush of air blows in her face with the sound of someones BREATH. The sound of it is soo familiar. We know exactly who it is. Villanelle, breathing in Eve’s face. And for a second she closes her eyes. Gives into it... into Villanelle but then something shifts, the struggle within her continues to take over and she grabs the cake once she gets emotional and throws it off the roof. Only to instantly regret it afterwards. The complexity of this scene and of Eve’s character is just.. on one hand she hates feeling like this now that she knows she has feelings for Villanelle, but on the other hand she likes it... she admits it and a part of her just wants to give in. We saw the same thing, only reversed feelings, in previous episode. She finally gave in and kissed Villanelle only to headbutt her right after, once she realized what she did and how WRONG it’s supposed to be. Here, she gives in for a moment.. closes her eyes and then realizes how fucked up that is and what a terrible person and WIFE she must be so she throws it off and THEN the feelings for Villanelle comes back... I just have to say.. I’M LOVING THIS! I hope that at the end of the season Eve WILL fully accept her feelings for Villanelle and become new version of herself, new version of Eve who is FREE. And I can’t wait to see what kind of person will independent Eve be like.

Next. Eve and Jamie. I’ve seen pictures of them in Jamie’s house and I did NOT like that atll. I still have a feeling something might happen between them and god, do I hope I’m wrong. But that scene as they were just chilling in his living room was so great for Eve because she needed someone to have this frank conversation with. She has been focusing on herself lately so much that she didn’t think other people did mistakes or terrible things like she did until Jamie proved her wrong. FINALLY we are getting some information about the dude. Even if it’s not pretty. At least it’s the truth. Eve really needed to hear it and especailly the ‘choices’ part. Someone had to remind her that SHE is in control of her own life and it all depends on the choices she makes at the end of the day. 

Speaking of choices, as soon as Eve gets a reply from Niko, she gets hopeful and goes even as far as to meet him. I appreciate that she is putting so much effort in trying to fix things between her and Niko, but at the same time I feel she’s only doing this for herself... meaning, that she doesn’t want to lose the person that keeps her somewhat SANE still and used to ground her. And in the middle of this, she gets so distracted with this thing with Niko, she doesn’t even realize that it’s not actually Niko who’s messaging her and really, I don’t blame her for not realizing it, I, myself, the first time watching didn’t catch the sight of Dasha in the beginning and yeah I was also played like Eve. But this is where I noticed a nice similarity/parallel between Eve and Villanelle. Eve’s all distracted with Niko and desperate to patch things up, she’s not realizing how someone else might be manipulating/using her. DASHA is doing exactly that. And she does the same thing with Villanelle at the same time. Now, Villanelle is all about family this season, whenever she hears about family, suddenly she’s distracted and the same is with power. I mean.. is she really that naive to trust Dasha again? It looks like Villanelle believes everything Dasha tells her, or almost everything. And so Dasha gets to manipulate her into doing what she wants her to do.

Gotta mention the teddy bear Eve found in one of Jamie’s rooms she’s staying at. Literally the previous night Villanelle sent her a teddy bear with recording and even here... at some strangers house she finds a teddy bear. Seems like she can’t get away from Villanelle no matter how much she tries. “What do you want from me?” She’s asking Villanelle because she clearly isn’t leaving her alone. 

The last scene with Eve witnessing Niko’s death... all I can say is GIVE SANDRA OH A GODDAMN EMMY ALREADY!!! Her seeing Niko suddenly being stabbed with a fucking pitchfork in the neck forced her to freeze and stare in terror and that chuckle of disbelief that followed afterwards.. as if saying “am I dreaming? Is this really happening? It can’t be” because Kenny JUST died... what are the fucking odds someone just stabbed Niko in front of her eyes?! I would lose my SHIT... and Sandra expressed it so beautifully... her slowly approaching the scene but then has that massive lump in her throat and she can’t breath and next second she’s losing her balance and falling to her knees in complete defeat and just stares at his body... powerless to do anything about it. This scene and the scene where Konstantin tells Villanelle that Eve is alive.. these two scenes HAVE to bring Jodie and Sandra EMMY’S because thats ART of acting and pure talent and I can’t imagine them NOT getting the awards they deserve. And they deserve EVERY single one. 

So there is literally NO ONE left for Eve. Bill’s long gone, Kenny as well, now Niko. I think that will be the last straw for Eve. I really don’t know how she will be able to come back from this or.. keep going. She’ll have to do it to avenge the people she loved. But she really has no one except Villanelle now. And I think.. yeah, Villanelle will also only have Eve when she’s done with her “family” and realizes that Konstantin/Dasha were playing her and Eve all over again. 

Konstantin

You’re in some DEEP shit, mister.

Question time. Why Konstantin went to visit Irina? What was the point of doing so? Was it only so he could ask about the German car that his wife’s boyfriend owns? Or was it purely on Irina’s part? Because the conversation they had proved once more that Konstantin is NOT fooling anyone. Everybody knows he’s working for himself. Eve pointed it out during Kenny’s funeral, then Villanelle with “You’re full of shit” and now Irina, paralleling Villanelle by saying “you’re full of shit” and walking off. This girl has grown so much and she’s soo mature already and smart and a fucking badass! I missed her. And by putting her father in his place she mentioned ending up “dead” .. you know what that sounds like to me? FORESHADOWING. It is exactly that, isn’t it? For Irina to straight up tell him his future if he doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing. And I guess he won’t stop.. or will he?

So... was it him who stole those 6 millions? I thought it was Sergei... but it kind of seemed like someone set him up. Was it Konstantin? Because when he went to visit Bertha and she mentioned about how her husband worked out who took the money... and Konstantin’s face during that scene... he is literally shitting his pants lol! That makes me believe he had something to do with this and he defintitely has... but what exactly did he do? And now that Bertha knows about the email and some information about it, Konstantin doesnt hesitate to reach out to Villanelle to ask her to get rid of the accountants wife only to save his own arse. Once again.

Next up: Konstantin’s relationship with his DAUGHTERS. Am I the only one who sees that Konstantin is treating Irina AND Villanelle the same way?! They basically have the same dynamic. Both Irina and Villanelle curse at Konstantin, have their small tantrums with him and can put him in his place. And both of them have already done so. And let’s not forget... the producers ALSO call Villanelle and Irina his DAUGHTERS so it’s confirmed. Everybody knows it. And recently I saw a BTS video of this latest episode about Konstantin and hearing Jodie then say “then there’s Konstantin’s REAL daughter” and then there’s dramatic close up on Villanelle LMAO! The jealousy and the way they edited it... damn. Okay, let’s just agree Villanelle is Konstantin’s daughter. 

Now, did he visit Geraldine?! Because when we saw Carolyn drive back home, she saw Konstantin walking from the same direction her place is located. And her daughter was home at the time... so did Geraldine lie about Konstantin not visiting her and being there or she didn’t even know when Konstantin sneaked inside? I’m getting really suspicious now.

Villanelle

GO AWAY, HICCUPS

Villanelle? Listening to MUSIC? What did I miss? Back in season 1 she was interested only in national anthems. Now she’s listening to other kind of music?! Music to me is EVERYTHING, it’s a massive escape, it’s something that helps me get through every day and it evokes FEELINGS. It is associated with feelings so much and what does it say about Villanelle? That she has FEELINGS. The layers are slowly being peeled off her as Oksana is coming out and I can’t wait for the next episode. I’ll write another small analysis/discussion about Oksana and Villanell soon as I feel this deserves a separate discussion.Going back to the topic of music, at the end of the episode Villanelle arrives HOME and is wearing headphones indicating that she probably was listening to music on her way there. I’m sensing BIG changes. Villanelle is truly progressing and developing and we are getting to witness it!

Okay. the part we all have been waiting for. THE HICCUPS. The very first time they start is EXACTLY after Konstantin mentions “FAMILY” Villanelle is really invested in her family now and was in previous episode so now knowing that Konstantin found them probaly quickened her breathing and she got nervous/excited. The hiccups are involuntary contractions. You can’t control it. And at the same time they tend to be constant. We have never seen Villanelle have them before. And they only start after she hears “FAMILY”. This reminds me of a scene in 1x02 where Konstantin tells Villanelle Eve’s name for the first time and then suddenly the champagne’s bottle pops. It’s a sign. And the hiccups seemed to stop for a short period of time, right until Bertha approaches Villanelle and tells her that she wants to be a FAMILY and hugs her. Seconds later hiccups come back. The concept of FAMILY must be very foreign to Villanelle. It’s something she never really had and so now learning about her family, something so unknown to her, is affecting her body. And the way I see it... the hiccups are like a constant reminder to her, that yes, she never had family and that she’s finally interested to find that family again. So the hiccups symbolize the LOSS of something she never had. In this case, her family. Because we see her get off the train at the end of the episode and she reaches out to touch her neck. This scene for me has so many different meanings it’s sooo fascinating? And one of the meanings, probably the main one, is that she reaches out to her neck once she realizes that hiccups are finally gone. And that is exactly when she’s back at HOME. Back where her FAMILY is. So it’s like... she’s no longer alone, the void from before has been filled because she found her family now. 

Now, the very first time I watched the episode and that last scene.. I was like “shit, did she, by any chance, feel Niko’s pain?!” I mean that’s IMPOSSIBLE. Because Niko has just been stabbed in the neck with pitchfork and yeah it just occured to me. But then... I realized that maybe it’s not Niko’s pain she’s feeling but EVE’S. We see Eve freeze and struggle to breathe and have lump in her throat and that’s when Villanelle stops having her hiccups and she has this MOMENT. Almost the same moment as Eve had when she felt Villanelle’s BREATH on her face.The connection thesr two have... I mean.. VILLANEVE IS ENDGAME, OKAY?!

We got a tiny problem now. Dasha FRAMED Villanelle. It got me thinking.. this is basically a betrayal. And could that mean.. that maybe Dasha did something similar to Villanelle in the past? Like, framed her with some kill? Could it be that huge thing that happened between the two of them? I hope we will find out at some point this season. And I mean.. the way Dasha killed Niko is NOT Villanelle’s style at all. Villanelle had PLENTY of chances to kill Niko herself and she didn’t because she knew well enough that if she hurts Niko, Eve will never forgive her for that. So she didn’t. But Eve doesn’t know that. She wasn’t a part of that conversation Villanelle had with Niko and Gemma. What Eve does know... is Villanelle’s handwriting. The iconic “Sorry Baby” should be a perfect example. Let’s not forget the postcard Villanelle sent to Eve in Amsterdam. Yes, Carolyn took it, but maybe... she’ll give it to Eve once she knows what happened? I mean there is NO way Eve will believe that crappy note is Villanelle’s. Not even her handwriting. Plus... if Villanelle wanted to kill Niko, I don’t think she would’ve done it in front of her eyes. And even if she did... I think she would have wanted Eve to SEE her do it. At the end of the day, Villanelle wants Eve to know about each and every kill she does. And Niko wouldn’t be an exception. She’d leave a PERSONAL note/message for Eve. What did Dasha leave?! “Still Got It”? Really bitch? Is that a note to Eve or Villanelle? If it’s to Villanelle... you just prepared your grave, Dasha. I can only imagine Eve finding out it was Dasha and ending up killing her to avenge her husband. And Villanelle being there to gladly assist her with everything she needs.

Carolyn

Never thought frog sounds could be this relaxing

She’s still dealing with Kenny’s death. In her own way. I mean, I understand Geraldine completely when she confronts her mom and basically tells her that she wants them to talk about Kenny’s death. If I was in her place, I would want to talk about it too. But Carolyn doesn’t seem to operate in that way. Plus, she dropped the line “there are things you don’t tell me, that are for quite different reasons” and she means it about Konstantin. She saw him leave her house. Geraldine said nothing about it. So... is she working with Konstantin now? What’s happening?

The dynamic between Carolyn and Konstantin though. Both of them are double agents and ready to betray one another at any given time despite knowing each other for YEARS. One minute they are working together as they were in season 2, then now Konstantin is doing his own thing, and even maaybe going behind Carolyn’s back with her own DAUGHTER?! I don’t believe this. I don’t think Geraldine knows about him visiting the house.. or does she?!

She comes back home, lies down and turns on frog sounds to relax herself while grabbing a pillow to press against her own face. Makes me wonder if she did it because she kept on repeating that she MISSES Kenny’s smell, but why would that pillow smell like him? So maybe she only wants to run away from the world and shut off by grabbing the pillow? Though for a moment or two I really got worried she might be suffocating herself lol! Careful with grief, Carolyn!

Dasha

The old hag of the hour. 

You fucked up, Dasha. BIG TIME. But before we get into the killing, I have to mention the scene where she meets the Lady of the Twelve. That’s what I will call her from now on. So, she’s either a keeper, or someone higher. I don’t think she is one of the Twelve, but she might be very close to them. Probably an assistant or something? Because she obviously has the power to HANDLE the HANDLERS. In this case, Dasha. I mean, I only saw her once and I already have the hotts for this lady, but she’s one of the bad guys and... WHEN DID THAT STOP ME BEFORE? I’m literally in love with a psychotic assassin LOL! 

Can I just point out the fact that the Twelve KNOW about VILLANEVE??? Apparently they have spies EVERYWHERE, like Eve said back in season 1 episode 3. “They are completely invisible and they could be literally everywhere”. That explains someone spotted Villanelle going around London, buying expensive ass perfume only to visit and fight with her girlfriend. And the Twelve know it. That’s a HUGE thing. They are treating it like a huge thing and they do not like Villanelle chasing Eve. That makes me think... so why would Konstantin let Villanelle know that Eve is alive if he is also working for the Twelve?! The same is with Carolyn and Eve!! Like?? Who is working for who now and who is betraying who?! I need explanations and QUICK!

Now Dasha proposing she can kill Eve... is this yet another foreshadowing moment? I know, the lady told her NOT to do it, but I have a feeling Dasha will try to hurt Eve at some point... and I hope Eve will be ready for it. As much as I would LOVE for Villanelle to save Eve.. I want Eve to handle Dasha by herself and take her revenge. I want dark!Eve at the end of this season. Am I asking for too much?! She already killed once. Might as well do it twice lol!

 So Dasha is supposed to “drive a wedge” between Eve and Villanelle. And when I realized Dasha stole Niko’s phone and was texting Eve to come to him... my first thought was “Okay, so is Dasha really trying to bring Eve and Niko back together?!?” But that is complete NONSENSE! I mean, I don’t think even a professional therapist will be able to bring them back together OR let alone recommend them to try to fix their marriage so how in the HELL would Dasha do it? It didn’t make sense.. but how else can she really fuck up Villaneve? Apprently by getting rid of Niko!! Dasha, sweetie... you ONLY BROUGHT THEM CLOSER BY ELIMINATING THE ONLY OBVIOUS OBSTACLE IN THEIR WAY!!! The hell was she thinking?! Does she really believe Eve will fall for her bullshit? Or does she expect Eve to find out it was HER and that’s when Dasha gets to kill Eve?! I don’t think she’s that smart. Either way... Dasha is done. I can totally see her dying this season, or possibly somehow magically escaping but I doubt it. Eve and Villanelle will deal with this bitch and it will be SOO delicious to watch them get their revenge.  

Overall Thoughts

JESUS. This was a LONG ass review. I honestly apologize, but if you reached this point, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You’re all amazing for spending your time reading my nonsense lol! It’s just that this episode had soo many great things worth discussing and so many symbols and meanings that make the show so complex and fascinating and god... I could talk about it for hours. I probably spend around 3-4 hours writing this so yeah, the proof that I have a serious fixation lol! 

But like I said.. this episode is my favorite this season. Perfect. I can only imagine how great the next 4 episodes will be. Also, can’t believe we are already halfway into the season. It’s crazy how quick the time flies!

And as always, if you have any thoughts/reactions/predictions you’d like to share don’t be afraid to message me or drop in my askbox!! I’m always up for discussing things like that!! 

[mihrunnisasultans]

Have you seen TSP promo for 2x04 yet? Based off what we see, I have three predictions for this episode: 1) Catherine is pregnant with Mary 2) Henry begins his affair with Bessie Blount 3) Meg falls for Angus and loses the Regency of Scotland to Albany

2)  While I’m not surprised by any of this, I hate what’s coming for Meg. Unfortunately, her life turned upside down after King James IV of Scotland died at the Battle of Flodden. She marries two more times for love, but Angus and Methven played on her emotions and used Margaret for her status—ultimately, cheating on her and stealing her money. She was living in poverty and forced to be supported by her son. Her first husband, James IV of Scotland, was the only one who truly loved her.

3)  Angus (and then Methven) will be Meg’s undoing. They charm her into thinking it’s true love, but both men married her for her status. They cheat on Margaret and steal her money. The only one who truly loved her was King James IV of Scotland. CAN WE REWRITE HISTORY AND BRING BACK RAY STEVENSON???

4)  It was very clear that TSP pulled out all the stops to make Angus look as sweet as could be in 2x04: Grief, but I can’t fall in love with his character because I know what’s coming. Angus ruins Margaret’s life. He cheats on her almost immediately and threw her into poverty for years. What’s worse is Methven does the same thing to her. I wish Meg had been told the advice she gives her character: “Stay! Away! From! Men!”

Hello Anon or Anons because I don’t know whether all messages in my inbox are from the same person or not, sorry for replying after a few days (which is still quick for me lmao), but I’ve been very tired & busy lately.

I’ve now obviously seen the whole episode and definitely enjoyed it most of all eps this season (it’s still TSP though) and then I learned it was written neither by Frost nor her Eastenders boyfriend, so this explains it I guess lol.

But honestly enjoyed bigger focus put on Tudor sisters’ storylines instead of devoting whole ep to how “awesome” Harrykate are. 

Honestly the way they write Angus at the moment just makes it sooo hard to suspect what is going to happen. If I hadn’t read some history, I would have been convinced he was a harmless dude and wouldn’t have suspected anything.  You can’t even accuse Meg of naivety because it’s hard to see it coming. He’s helpful, but not in creepy see-what-great-guy-I-am way because he does not overstep, but truly reacts appropriately when she needs some assistance, is not afraid to cry and show grief, talks about God and the poor and how this is more important than war, actually killing a person for the first time is a big deal for him (now compare it  with Frost’s KoA who couldn’t rest until she was able to do so ... she was truly given many toxic masculinity traits as EmPOwErEmEnt, I want to SCREAM), quotes More, is romantic, sweet, courteous.. ideal guy or not?

Likely will emerge a huge hypocrite soon, unless EF changes his character due to lack of screentime and Meg’s only problem will be paying a price for following her heart. Because that’s the problem that we have just 5 episodes left and still so many years & issues to cover? They will definitely arrive at the Great Matter and yes Henry haven’t even begun his womanising ways. Add Mary’s wedding drama with Brandon to come too. Ah and the completely uneccessary, but inevitable Maggie/More affair, which I now lost hope will be a platonic thing when we learned he is actually  satisifed with his wife and marriage except for “cold bed” (worst part of the episode, YIKES).

Same with Bessie, EF calls her a snake, but so far we’ve seen a friendly, caring girl, who is loyal to her mistress & not even any sexy seductress. She does not seem to be even interested in Henry, unless something’s already been going on and even the audience does not know it, and she expresses interest in Brandon as smokescreen. There’s like a lot of characters that will need to have a turn of 180 degrees with respect to how they are presented and so... little time for it? Henry also needs to get mad in accordance with spoilers LOL. I know characters might have hidden motives, but it’s hard to imagine EF doing it right and convincingly eh. IDK about Bessie, it’s possible EF calls her a snake simply because she will sleep with her mistress’s husband & interferes in “great luv” and does not realise it was really dangerous to refuse the king if he decided on you, and so far we truly haven’t seen her trying to catch Henry’s eye, plotting to get him or anything of that sort. No hints of any such behaviour as well.

I can’t ship Meg with Angus at all knowing what is to come, but at least we can’t accuse Meg here of being naive or stupid because he truly seems like such a nice guy with good morals. Maybe she should watch out for his flattery, but then would not a besotted man tell his object of affection she’s best queen eva?

Poor, poor Margaret :(

And yes we are definitely missing actors with charisma like Ray Stevenson, I still just cannot see Ruairi being a convincing tyrant or madman (hahah) NGL.

[aqvarius]

[WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW] Masquerade Kiss: Yuzuru Shiba Season 2

Expectations:

I just want to start off by saying that the prologue is absolutely outrageous. There are probably so many targets that hang around the EAC headquarters, especially since HQ is presumably 3 miles within the UN Headquarters and let’s not pretend that there isn’t at least one target going to work there everyday. I actually spent 30 mins on google maps street view trying to find exactly where this location is supposed to be modelled after so I could find all the companies and buildings that have potential targets and then just gave up lol. BUT either way, I refuse to believe that a top international intelligence agency would just go WARNING WARNING and go into emergency lockdown because a target entered a 3 mile radius of HQ. Ridiculous. Also, the letter from the EAC even in the Yuzuru prologue also calls her Arisa Mifune which is her Kazuomi alias lol.

EDIT: I found the location of that background which implies that EAC HQ is modelled after 2 Hammarskjold Plaza or somewhere near (which is right next to the British Consulate btw, how did MC not see that on her way to the building. Also conveniently near something called Japan Society.). Note the octagonal-roofed thing on the bottom left, the general shape of the building, the covered part of the building lobby, the blue sign (afaik street signs in NYC are green) and the position and shape of the building down the road. And I know I’m taking this whole thing way too seriously, but Jeffrey Epstein had a mansion about 2 miles away from here so this whole 3 mile emergency alert thing is just ridiculous. Sure, Epstein probably never existed in the world of Masquerade Kiss but come on, it is highly unlikely that not a single target lives, works or passes by for a kebab within a 3 mile radius of the EAC HQ.

With that out of the way, let’s talk Yuzuru. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to even play Masquerade Kiss ever again. I like most things about the game but Love Choice is honestly just a turn off and the only LC game that I am genuinely drawn to is actually Destind. But then I had 287 unused hearts because I bought a bunch of hearts with the intent of playing Kyogoku’s route in Romance MD (and then I didn’t because I actually just don’t like that game) so I decided to give it a shot. I actually (surprisingly?) prefer Kazuomi to Yuzuru as a character, but I like Yuzuru’s MC more than Kazuomi’s MC and I was intrigued that Voltage would push this whole love quadrangle thing. We’ve seen hyper-jealous Yuzuru before in a substory so I think I went into this route more interested in the plot aspect and to see how they would develop the kind of strange relationship between Yuzuru and his MC. I genuinely enjoyed Yuzuru’s S1 MS a lot and wanted to see how he and his MC would grow as a couple. Also I wanted to play it in order to write a review to bring some traffic back to my semi-hiatus stagnant blog lol. Please give this a like/reblog please I’m begging you please :’(

Keep reading to the walkthrough and review. I’ve calculated a way for you to get to EE with all CGs (50 hearts saved), SHE with CGs (83 hearts saved), or a cheapest overall option to SHE (107 hearts saved).

Stop scrolling after the walkthrough and guide if you haven’t yet played and don’t want the route to be spoiled.

Walkthrough:

Story 1:

Yes, we should keep an eye on him.

No, it’s not necessary

Story 2:

“You came to be with me.” (Love Meter +1) (6 hearts)

I can’t say.

Story 3:

I sign without hesitating.

I hesitate for a moment.

Story 4:

Text Yuzuru.

Don’t text him.

Story 5:

I’ll sign it. (Love Meter +1, CG) (13 hearts)

I’m not going to sign a New York contract.

 Story 6:

Casually intervene. (Love Meter +2) (11 hearts)

Pretend not to notice.

Story 7:

See him out without asking what’s wrong.

Ask what’s going on.

Story 8:

It’s payback time. (Love Meter +1, CG) (16 hearts)

Don’t do anything.

Story 9:

Start touching him. (Love Meter +2) (12 hearts)

I can’t interrupt.

Story 10:

Seduce the info out of him. (Love Meter +1) (8 hearts)

Try to force it out of him.

Story 11: (second chance)

Gently ask about it. (Love Meter +3) (18 hearts)

Now is not the time.

Story 12:

“I’m thinking about you.” (Love Meter +3) (13 hearts)

“Nothin’.”

Story 13:

“It was fun.”

“It was relaxing.”

 Story 14:

Apologize and keep talking. (Love Meter +1) (7 hearts)

Ouch. I have nothing to say for myself…

Story 15:

Play dumb: “What are you talking about?”

Ask: “What if I am?”

Story 16:

Find out if he’s jealous. (Love Meter +2) (18 hearts)

Don’t ask any questions.

Story 17:

“I’ll stay ten more minutes.” (Love Meter +2) (14 hearts)

I have nothing to say.

Story 18:

Ask about his Texas accent.

Don’t ask about it now.

Story 19:

Call out to Yuzuru.

Let him go.

Story 20:

Put up a strong front: “I’m okay.”

Tell the truth: “I’m not okay.”

Story 21: (second chance)

Ask Yuzuru why he did it. (Love Meter +3, CG) (25 hearts)

Don’t ask any questions.

Story 22:

“Not as stubborn as you.”

“You already knew that.”

Story 23 (useless):

Trust Yuzuru and don’t go. (Love Meter +1) (13 hearts)

Right now, I have to go to Jeremy.

Story 24: (second chance but she saves him either way)

Rush over to protect Yuzuru. (Love Meter +3) (19 hearts)

I can’t get there quickly enough.

Guides:

I calculated the cheapest ways to get to Eden End and Super Happy End with CGs and without CGs. Just opt for the heart scenes that I’ve highlighted in each guide below.

Click the read more below for my review. Stop here if you haven’t yet read the route because there are spoilers galore.

Review:

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this route. As I read through, I thought the pacing was excellent and I was really drawn in by everything about it, especially the relationship between Yuzuru and his MC. It has definitely been a while since a LC route really captured my full attention. However, upon rereading my notes and writing this review, I do have quite a few issues with it, particularly the plot. I’ll go through the things I enjoyed about the route first and then discuss what I find to be its limitations.  

So Yuzuru is great in this route. We get a far more expressive and soft Yuzuru. We get to see the most charming side of Yuzuru again, his childlike passion for engineering and innovation. This, in my opinion, is Yuzuru at his softest and most appealing, when he is genuinely passionate and not just doing the hyper-organised scheduling thing (although naturally most of this is hidden behind a heart scene). Sometimes it’s nice to remember that Yuzuru is human.

He’s definitely more playful with his MC in this route, even going as far as to blur the lines between work and personal life a little bit in a way that I found quite unexpected. There’s a lot of flirty banter between them, as well as just little suggestions of flirtations here and there in their body language – in front of people too! Scandalous. It almost reminds me a bit of Kazuomi and his MC, which is definitely a pleasant surprise. A lot of these scenes are hidden behind heart scenes, which I’ll get into later, but I will say that these cute and suggestive moments between the two are probably some of the best moments of the route, and part of the reason why it was so easy to keep reading.

I’ve mentioned this before but Yuzuru’s MC is my favourite version of the Masquerade Kiss MC. She’s great in this route too – cool, calm, great at her job. I also love that she likes Night at the Museum? Lmao me too girl. She has such trashy taste in movies and it’s a cute quirk that definitely makes her more relatable within the sensational premise of the game. Personality-wise, I think they did a good job at bridging the professional and personal aspects of her personality too, making her read like someone who has different personas that are different aspects of the same person. You definitely get a sense of the conflict within the MC when she has to extract information by using her sExUaLiTy when her boyfriend is watching on lol, even when they kind of make it out like a game. It is interesting and quite novel to see a Voltage MC successfully pull off a honey trap on a guy who kind of repulses her. We get snippets of it in other games such as Her Love in the Force but HLITF MC is always careful to keep boundaries so we never get to explore the full potential of the jealousy that can crop up in such situations. MK MC goes above and beyond to give us (and Yuzuru) a show. With that being said, I do feel like they kind of drew back from it a little by having Jeremy be super forward with his affection so the MC just has to respond, keep him on the hook and pull back every now and again, rather than actively needing to pursue someone to obtain information.

I also really enjoyed that moment when Yuzuru tells her to shower before going to his bed to wash off “Mia.” It solidifies that he’s really in love with her and not her charismatic, flirtatious hostess alias. Throughout the route, the blurring of the personal and the professional is definitely a theme that we see cropping up in the lives of both the MC and Yuzuru. It’s something that I find particularly interesting and I’m glad they picked this developmental direction since both Yuzuru and his MC are notoriously bad at mixing those two worlds, with both of them consistently and repeatedly picking work over love. We also get to see Yuruzu and his MC almost working together at times, which I adored. At times, they feel like a team. As always, they have tons of sexual and physical chemistry but they are slowly building up on the emotional chemistry and communication issues which is so crucial for character and relationship development. 

The SHE and EE in particular has some incredibly cute moments. Yuzu’s MC describing them as part of a machine is *chefs kiss* incredible. Their sex scenes are intimate, loving and incredibly romantic. Yuzu preparing his NYC home for MC? Adorable. And, most importantly, him not only tolerating but welcoming his MC’s “bugs” in their relationship? That’s character growth babey. 

With super long LC routes, I always get tired about 7 chapters in and give up and then have to come back and finish it later. However, this route sped along. The pacing of this route is pretty quick and snappy – in fact, I wouldn’t have minded if it was actually longer? Developments tend to happen pretty quickly, there are plenty of moments between Yuzuru and the MC that keep the story moving, and there’s basically very little, if any, ‘downtime’ in this route. Because they are constantly in the club or at Yuzuru’s place lol.

The writing/language quality is great. I felt genuinely tense every time Yuzuru and the MC almost got caught in the club and even more so when the MC went to Jeremy’s home. I couldn’t spot any significant typos or coding errors. The readability of this route is definitely top quality.

Moving onto my gripes with this route, I would say that they have to do mostly with flimsy plot, characters being reduced to plot devices, and lack of relationship conflict.

Firstly, something that I always find a bit off about the premise of EAC is how public their relationships sometimes are and how the MC’s private life even works. Yuzuru literally gets swarmed with people in the prologue asking for autographs and photos and yet later in the route can somehow go on a public date to busy tourist spots in central NYC with a spy? (That being said, I refuse to take that prologue as canon because of how sensationally ridiculous it is.) Let’s not pretend the EAC isn’t watching them lol (they even imply multiple times that this is the case). Is she not worried that Jeremy or Grace or any SHIBA or Space Crystal employees or any of the numerous powerful and dangerous people who frequent Freja will spot them together? There is no way she looks significantly different as Mia than as herself unless she’s wearing prosthetics or can turn off her star aura like Britney Spears can.  Also, is the MC supposed to be mixed? No one has any questions about how a native Japanese woman can get away with being called Mia Knightley?

They also set up this tension of something happening to the MC without Yuzuru ever knowing which never really plays out. There’s a brief callback to it but it’s more about the MC finding an excuse to see Yuzu. I thought the drama would have more to do with the MC having to keep secrets from Yuzu and disappearing but that never happens and so the repeated mentions of this particular source of anxiety don’t really amount to anything. I also wish they made better use of the stun bracelet! I think it would have been cool if that was what took Jeremy out. Symbolically, it could have worked as a physical manifestation of Yuzu’s trust and support of his MC and her job helping to protect her against the Big Bad.

Okay so my main issue is about the villains and the flimsy plot. Jeremy and Grace were such wasted villains!! If this guy went crazy and murdered 3 people… how did he manage to not only reinvent himself but in fact become a very high profile tech executive with more or less the same name? Imagine if Elon Musk was actually a crazy murderer who used to be called Elon Avrevic… there’s no way that he would be able to bury this, especially if he came from nothing and had no connections during the time in his life when he committed these murders. If there are actual criminal reports about his crimes that can be accessed by the EAC and SHIBA, how did he not get taken in for life after murdering 3 people? Why is he even free in the world? It’s such a big plot hole to me… doesn’t have the same fingerprints? Did he get such extensive plastic surgery that he’s not recognisable and also burn off his fingerprints? Evidently not, since the MC can recognise both him and Grace from childhood photos!

I also didn’t think his motivations were really that convincing. We get a throwaway line about his alcoholic father killing his mother because she tried to leave him, but in general they set Jeremy up with so much potential as this psychopath who hunts a very specific type of woman but then they just kind of throw it away with him just going crazy and shooting people because he just wants “girls and money”. Nooo Jeremy they did you so dirty!!!

I just think they built him up as this incredibly dangerous and manipulative predator but then just made him a standard alcoholic incel. He could have been such a good villain. He could have maybe drawn the MC in with sob stories about his mother and actually made her doubt her instincts with his charisma and vulnerability, with it turning out that the whole time he was just luring her in, instead of just relentlessly hitting on her and then getting carelessly drunk and going crazy. He spends so much of the route attempting to play and get with the MC and then just throws it all away by getting pissed and letting her basically have free reign of his apartment? I just don’t buy that a co-founder of Space Crystal would get to the top without being more clever, suspicious and manipulative – especially since he murdered 3 women and still is somehow a free man, ‘disguised’ as a very successful CEO?  Also, if he really just wanted girls and money, there were a thousand other ways of doing it. He could have been so clever and instead they just made him have occasional psychotic breaks with no discernible trigger. Disappointing.

(On a side note, they made his house look weirdly similar to Epstein’s manor. Or maybe all Upper East Side homes look like this, I have no idea. I did look around on Google Maps and I guess a lot of the homes in this area are kind of similar.)

Grace is also a wasted character. She kind of feels like a MacGuffin just to have this love quadrangle in order to play out the jealousy plot but ultimately plays no significant role. Actually, both Grace and Jeremy basically just act as jealousy plot devices, only the jealousy plot isn’t strong enough to actually threaten Yuzu and his MC’s relationship (except for one moment which to be honest doesn’t even play out like that because of jealousy and rather because Yuzu is trying to protect his girl).

Speaking of that moment, I thought that Yuzuru’s “push the MC away plan” could have been stronger. I feel like it’s not like him to do make such a basic attempt at fooling his MC. It might have worked in a different game but all of the MK guys usually know that they can’t trick their MC with cheap Harry and the Hendersons plots and they tend to not disrespect her enough to try. I know that as readers, we enjoy not knowing what the love interest is up to because it ups the tension and drama but I feel like there was a way of having that insecurity and conflict play out while keeping everything a mystery and making better use of the characters. Like maybe it could seem like Yuzuru is running into Grace’s arms after finding his MC in a compromising position with Jeremy when he’s actually doing his own covert investigations and making plans to foil their ultimate plans. Or maybe even working with Grace to take Jeremy’s wild country-bombing plans out. That way, we would prolong the jealousy/love quadrangle plot with the MC stressing about Yuzuru and Grace’s relationship, especially when she already doesn’t trust Grace. It would also make better use of Grace as a character and her position as both someone with a ginormous crush on Yuzuru and as Jeremy’s ‘partner’. If Grace also ended up betraying Jeremy to help Yuzuru and the MC, we could also have had some extra heartbreak about Grace having to betray the one person she has always had in her life (and maybe some extra backstory about Jeremy going nuts as part of having to protect himself and Grace from their parents and the world). #voltagehireme lol. I also find it highly unlikely that Jeremy managed to set up this whole missile-launching phone app business under Grace’s nose, especially when Yuzuru knew about it. Also, the idea of an American attempting to launch a missile to destroy the whole of Japan is a bit… on the nose lol.

The season isn’t really driven by relationship conflict even though they were pushing the whole jealousy line in the marketing. In the end, I don’t think the route is as much about jealousy as it is about trust – but then again, Yuzuru has always placed ultimate trust in his MC even in S1. I can see this being an issue for people who went into this route wanting genuine conflict in their relationship so that they can overcome and work through it to develop. There’s only a little bit of conflict towards the end when the MC goes to Jeremy’s home, and then that kind of gets discarded pretty quickly anyway. They just happen to be better at communication this season, and a lot of that is because of Yuzuru going out of his way to keep tabs on his MC. This is probably what makes the route so easy to read, because Yuzu is more open. However, because of this, while it is great that their communication as a couple improves, it may not necessarily feel that earned? With that said, credit to the writers for making Yuzu more open without making it feel jarring or like he’s had a sudden personality change.

And on another note entirely, I wish there was a bit more detail about the three “S”es and more involvement from Kazu and Kei, who basically just make gratuitous appearances in this route. Learning about them making Takoyaki together at Oxford is such a cute detail and also such an international student in the UK thing to do. Find me one Asian student studying abroad in the UK who hasn’t collectively cooked home food in halls with friends from their country (it’s always hotpot for me lol). I wish there were more moment with them actively involved in helping the MC.

Finally, I have my usual issues about the Love Choice system. If you play the route for free, you get very few cute scenes between Yuzu and his MC, miss out on some major character development moments (esp that planetarium scene) and you get a fade to black ending in the Normal End. Personally, I started playing Voltage in the early 2010s so I don’t mind fade to black endings, but I think the mature/sex scenes are what a lot of MK readers are here for, so it’s a shame that there isn’t even a kiss scene in the NE.

Overall, I would say that the chemistry between Yuzuru and his MC is what keeps this route going and flowing. I would recommend it if you just adore Yuzuru, want to maximise time with him and don’t really care much about plot. Otherwise, while their relationship is brought to new levels, it does not happen because of the plot as much as Yuzu’s response to events we don’t necessarily see, and it does not necessarily feel that earned because the plot doesn’t really put their relationship in that much jeopardy.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually really enjoyed reading this route – I found it super easy to keep reading, and Yuzu kept me hooked. I also love Yuzu more than ever. I think it’s a similar situation to Takane’s route, where the route made me love the love interest more, but has an average/flimsy plot. I imagine that his PoV will reveal more about those events that make him go out of his way to keep an eye on his MC, but as a standalone route, I wish there was more actual relationship conflict leading to more development.

[bellamygateoldblog]

So, I read a lot of your personal posts and I'm just really curious about you. You seem very stressed out and tired all the time. Are you a college student? Are you just in a financial situation that necessitates that you work all the time? I just feel bad because It seems that you do not absorb joy very much. Like, I have seen that you recently started watching that show The 100. You seem very pissed off about it and yet keep watching it? You confuse and intrigue me. Explain?

"it seems that you do not absorb joy very much" has been playing on my mind ever since i read this. It hit something close to my heart.

I know i’m not obligated to explain anything and i don’t tend to put my life online (i don’t have any social media, so that should give you an idea of how secretive i usually am) but i literally stayed awake for 30 hours straight before sleeping for 15 hours straight and of course i don’t feel very well after that lol. I feel like i need to talk through some things that i’ve been keeping to myself for a long time. Get it out of my head, stop carrying it around, maybe gain some control over it.

I never intend to make anyone feel bad though, but i don’t have anyone to talk to so i guess i sometimes make those posts as a substitute for someone listening. Or for me being pissed about the 100, i think that’s my mood translating into what i end up posting in general.

Anyways this is A Lot. I obviously don’t mind if you read it. Advice would be nice, if anyone has any.

I’m a 2nd year university student. Due to severe mental illness (often making me physically sick and exhausted) these last 2 years have been extremely difficult so that's left me in a very intense situation essentially just trying to ensure i pass the year. That means handing in all the assignments i deferred basically all at the same time, after not attending the year at all. Like no lectures, no workshops, no lessons, nothing past the first month of semester 1. It's really not an ideal situation and my condition isn't improving the way i thought it would (you know when you think ‘this is the worst it can possibly get’ and then it gets worse?), and i can't focus. I’m resourceful and naturally decently smart, so i’m able to still pass a year of uni without...going. I’ve become less capable over time but because of other life experience i don’t place value on academic excellence anymore and because of covid there is a benchmark anyway, where my grade can’t drop below a 2:2, so basically i’m good as long as i don’t recieve a fail grade on anything. But that being said it’s still really hard to get things done anyway despite this? especially with depression and concentration issues, because uni in general just makes me really unhappy and disrupts my entire life, and i’d rather do literally anything else.

I can’t function whenever thinking about school in general. If im stressed about something i can’t think about anything else and it ends up seeping into other things im doing.

I have a really clear idea of what i want for the next step in my life and university is the only route available to get to so that’s why i’m still going through all of this when i could technically just ‘stop’. I’ve explored other ideas already and it appears even more stressful and complicated to make a huge change now. Even though i know 3rd year will be harder (which is also a source of stress, anxiety over what’s to come when im already struggling...).

I've been talking to my uni the whole time and while they've been understanding and accommodating (psychology department...like...they Know lol), there's only so much they can do to help me. Everyone i’ve spoken to is genuienly amazed i am where i am, but imo my resilience is bourne out of pure spite not to let my life fall apart along with myself LMAO. I have one assignment deadline left which is tomorrow. It’s the hardest one yet, i haven’t started and i’m filled with dread, and i’m so burned out i have no idea how i’m going to get it done.

To give some context about the whole ‘i can’t help myself when i’m under stress’ thing: I’m a really feminine girl. I have health and beauty routines that i like to stick to, but i can’t stick to them right now so i don’t feel like myself. There is nothing more to my life than stress and depression. I’m pretty sure i experienced dissociation for a few days last week. It was like i didn’t exist.

Just so happens that when i thought i could finally have a break from the extreme stress there are exams coming up on the 11th, which my uni has for some reason decided to make harder!?!? And i need to tell you that because it’s been bugging me ever since i recieved the email. They've completely changed the exams from being 1 hour long multiple choice tests (multiple choice is so easy smh) to basically a group of short answer questions we have 24 hours (each!) to write and submit and it’s seeming like i’ve got another 5 assignments to do after already writing 7 in the past month. It’s open book while the January exams were closed but it still seems to me like the students who didn’t defer (who did the exams back in January) got an unfair advantage over those of us taking them now due to our own circumstances. So I’m confused and upset about that, and about the thought that i probably won’t even get a break before 3rd year begins.

My living situation doesn’t make it better. It’s a really negative and emotionally draining space for me to be in. Just adding to my being drawn to negativity, and my own sensitivity. And covid has made everything that much more complicated, with everything changing and being closed etc. I’m completely alone btw, there is no one i can lean on.

As for the 100, that’s really tricky. I actually stopped “watching” it last year and now mostly consume it through fandom tumblr. I'm just not in the right headspace to sit alone and watch such a heavy show (clearly LMAO). But I’m so comfortable in this circle of fandom & love my mutuals, so i stay. I am actually liking a lot about the final season, like they’re delivering everything i wanted them to lol, but it’s so flawed and easy to complain about when you have a predisposition to be a Negative Nancy all the time so here we are.

I think i don’t really talk so extensively about shows I really love because i feel like i don’t have anything substancial to say about them besides ‘i love it’? Like i just sit there and happily watch and the farthest i go is commenting gibberish love confessions in the tags of a gifset i reblog. So most of my posts end up being me being petty or something. I do want to focus more on shows i love but like i said...it’s so hard for me sometimes to be all-positive and pretend i’m not completely crushed?

I really just want to not be so stressed and exhausted all the time. I want to do something besides worry about and/or do work. I’d love to clean my space & take a shower & read a book without a nagging anxiety in the back of my head. But i have to wait it out, and then wait it out, and continue waiting it out because it feels like things are going to be this way forever or get even worse.

I’ve had a lot of good luck lately though, and i don’t know what your beliefs are but i think someone is watching over me.

[arrow-guy]

Struck By Night (5/??)

Summary: Fate has a funny way of pulling people together. Whether or not that’s a good thing, only time will tell.

A/N: Hi, it’s been over a year since this fic was last updated, but we’re bringing this bitch back because I still love vampires and Tony Stark. Hope you guys have fun with the Drama lmao

Pairing: AvengersxReader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings:

Part 4

I sit on the couch in the common area, a mug of scalding hot tea clutched in my hands. I stare into the fire blazing in the hearth and sink into the cushions as best I can.

“I thought you didn't like human food.”

Startled, my body jerks when I tear my eyes away from the fire and tea sloshes over the side of the mug, onto my bare hands. I hiss in pain and jump up from the couch, shaking the tea from my hands. Tony stands behind the couch, his eyes wide.

“I don't usually. Tea helps me warm up, though. Especially in the middle of winter.” Tony reaches out for the mug and I hand it to him. “Tea isn't much of a food though is it?”

He sets the mug on the counter and grabs a dishtowel from the fridge handle. “I guess not,” he says. “Sorry I snuck up. Didn't mean to startle you.”

I take the towel from him and wipe my hands off before moving on to dab at the spots on my pant leg.

“It's fine, I should have been paying better attention.” I dab at the wet spot on my knee a little before giving up. “What’s up?”

“Bruce told me about your idea to create a blood substitute that would be viable both for human use and a food source for you.” Tony shakes his head. “You think we could do it?”

I shrug and plop down on the couch again. “Do you? Because Dr. Banner seems interested in at least trying.”

Tony takes a seat at the opposite end and folds one leg under himself so that he can face me.

“It's not that I don't think it can be done, we're literal geniuses. The time in which we have to do so is what worries me. You only have so much Hydra blood. It won't last forever. What are your options when it runs out if we don't finish in time?”

“I'm no stranger to rationing food, Tony. I've already started planning out meals so that there won't be any hunger issues along the way. If I get a little light-headed I'll stay in my room.” I scratch my cheek. “Even if it doesn't work for me, as long as it's a viable option for humans, it has to be worth it, right?”

He nods slowly. “You are so much different than I thought you’d be.”

My lips quirk up into a smile. “So you’ve said.”

“I’m serious. I can’t seem to figure you out. Just as soon as I think I’ve got all the information, Barnes or Rogers throw out some new shit or you come out of left field with something like sucking dick to stay fed.”

I burst out laughing. “I never said that I actually did that, just that it happened. But, I aim to surprise, Tony. And if I can surprise you, maybe my work here is done.”

“Oh, don’t go! We’re just getting to know each other.”

“Mmm, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.” I shiver and wrap my arms around myself.

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m just cold, is all. It happens.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Unless you want to cuddle, probably not.” I sigh and push myself up from the couch. “It may be best for me to just go curl up in bed.”

“Alright.” His eyes follow me as I pour my tea down the drain and head for the hallway. “Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn up the thermostat when you get there.”

I shoot him a smile and pull my hoodie tighter around me. “Thanks, Tony. Really. For everything.”

He smiles but waves me off. “Nothing to thank me for, (Y/N), I just want you to be comfortable.”

I shake my head and turn down the hallway with a smile playing at my lips. For as much as Tony has done for his team, and even for me, he doesn’t quite seem to know when or how to give himself credit.

I shuffle into the lab around 2 pm and find Bruce and Tony hunched over a single tablet. I plop down onto a stool across from them. Neither look up.

“Morning,” Tony greets.

“It’s not morning,” I mumble. I lean on the table with my chin in my hand.

“Did you ever get warmed up last night?”

I nod. “I did, thanks. The vent is right over my bed. It was really nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“Mmm,” I hum. “What have you two been up to today?”

“We’ve been looking into your blood substitute,” Bruce answers.

“Oh?”

“We know that no one has been able to successfully do anything like this, so if it works, it could completely change the world.”

“But?”

“But there’s no way to know whether or not it would be a viable source of food for you.”

I shake my head. “Fine. If you can figure out a way to make something that can help other people, you should do that. You could change the lives of people with chronic anemia, sickle cell, dialysis patients, and millions of others. It’s worth it just for that.”

“I almost forgot you were a nurse for a moment,” Tony says.

“I’d thank you to remember that I’m more than just a vampire, Mr. Stark,” I say. I smirk when his eyes widen. "Anyway, where were you thinking of starting? I'm assuming that you're looking at artificial hemoglobin, at the very least."

Tony laughs. "Yes, actually. That's exactly what we were thinking."

"Perfect. I haven't been able to run tests myself, so I can only guess, but I believe that that is the one thing that my body metabolizes when I take in blood. On a base level, it holds the most nutritional value."

"It's a protein, so that would make sense," Bruce says. "Outside of baseline volume replacement, it's the one thing that's been hardest to reproduce for any kind of artificial blood supplement.”

I nod. “That would make sense.”

“I think we need to have a backup plan,” Tony says. “Just in case this doesn’t work out, where will you be getting blood?”

“I don’t know. Somehow I doubt it’d be as easy as crashing a bunch of Hydra parties and draining them for fun afterward.” I run my fingers over my lips as I think. “I guess I’d have to go out into the city and see if I can pull anything.”

Tony pulls a face. “If you have to.”

“Well it’s not like you guys want to be my blood bags, now do you? Mass anemia isn’t exactly ideal, especially in a team of Superheroes.” I bite my thumbnail, brows pulling together. “I’m not sure how enhanced blood would even affect me. I’m not sure it’s really something I want to experiment with.”

“Sounds like college,” Tony says.

“I know you’re trying to make a joke,” I say. “But do you have any idea what happens when you mix something like me with the biological material of someone like Doctor Banner? Hell, even Steve could be a risk.”

“She’s right, Tony,” Bruce admits. “You remember my cousin Jennifer?”

“Yeah, health problems a while back, right?”

“Yeah. I was the only one who could give her blood. Now she’s the greenest lawyer in all of New York.”

“Shit.”

“Now do you understand?” I ask. “There are too many variables, and I’m already enough of a danger as is.”

“I think you’re putting a little too much pressure on yourself there, (Y/N),” Tony says. “If you were a danger to us, you would’ve bit one of us already. Your self-control, from what I’m guessing, is off the charts. When you start sneaking around and nibbling on our necks, then I’ll consider you a danger.”

“I think you’re letting inexperience cloud your judgment.”

Tony stares at me. “What’s your hangup with this?”

“What I am, at the core, is dangerous. If there’s one misstep, I could seriously hurt someone, potentially myself if it comes down to isolation.” I shake my head. “It’s not a hangup, Tony. It’s being self-aware. I’ve seen too many good people hurt when they trust a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“Hah! Cute. That’s really cute. But I’m not going to debate the definition with you, because I suspect we have very different experiences with it.”

“(Y/N),” Bruce says. “I’m sure he didn’t mean-”

“Bruce, don’t. Please. Just don’t.” I look between the two of them. “Look, if it doesn’t work for me, keep going with the project. It’ll help a lot of people.”

Bruce nods and I give a tight-lipped smile before excusing myself from the lab.

I run into Steve on the way down the hall and I just barely manage to sidestep him before crashing into him. 

“What’s the rush, (Y/N)?” he asks.

“Sorry,” I shake my head. “I need to go back to my room. Clear my head.”

He follows after me and places his hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him and he stoops to look me in the eye. “You okay?”

I sigh. “I’ll be very honest, Steve, I’m tired.”

He nods and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll walk you back.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t, but I’m gonna because I want to.”

“You gonna tell me why you were in such a hurry to get away from the lab?”

I crawl onto the bed and sit with my back against the wall. “It’s overwhelming.”

“The lab?” Steve sits in the reading chair in the corner. “It can be. I figured you’d be used to that kind of stuff, though.”

I shake my head. “Not the lab. Working with Tony.”

“Ah.”

“He’s just… a lot, y’know? And we butt heads like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes it feels like we were made to contradict each other.”

“And other times?”

“Other times it’s like someone else takes over and it’s so easy to talk to him. Like there’s something there.” I wring my hands. “Scares the shit out of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m practically immortal. I’m not… I don’t like attachments.”

“You’re attached to Buck ‘n’ I.”

“Neither of you have aged in the past eighty years. I’ve got more in common with you two than I do him.”

Steve shrugs. “Nothing’s happened yet.”

“Very true.” I frown. “Do I even want something to happen? And there’s no saying that he feels the same connection.”

“That’s right.”

“Who’s to say he’d want it anyway?” I laugh. “There I go, worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. Not to mention things that would probably never happen to begin with.”

“It sounds like you’re talking yourself into and out of something,” Steve says.

“Better to do it now than later, right?” I let my head fall back against the wall and laugh. “Oh man, I’m fucked.”

Steve laughs. “In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never talked like this.”

“What, the cursing?”

“No, like you have a crush on someone.”

“Well, Steven, when we were last around each other we were also around a bunch of grimy, rank, disgusting soldiers and SSR officers who were either skirt chasers, or women who weren’t exactly my type. Not to mention we were in the middle of a literal war. There wasn’t time for this… this-” I gesture wildly. “Mess.”

“Not even after the war?”

“No, I was pretty focussed on staying alive and off the government's radar, not to even mention S.H.I.E.L.D.’s. It was hard enough getting away from the SSR after the war, after Peggy took over, it got harder.”

“So you’ve been on the run for the better part of seventy years.”

“Pretty much, yeah.” I sigh. “Pretty sure this is the most time I’ve had to relax since you went into the ice, and I’m certain that should be a joke because being here is anything but relaxing.”

Steve snorts. “All things considered, it’s been relatively quiet since we dragged you in.”

“I’ve noticed.” A knock sounds at the door and I sit forward to see who’s there. “Yeah?”

The door opens and Tony appears in the entryway.

“Hey,” he says.

“What’s up?” I ask.

Tony glances at Steve. “Could I talk to you alone?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Steve grins at me and I flip him off.

Steve laughs. “I’ll be going.”

Tony watches him go and turns back to me. “What was that about?”

“We were just talking.” I lean forward and pat the bed. “Have a seat, Stark.”

He plops down on the bed and braces himself with one arm. “So.”

“So…” I fold my arms. “You wanted to talk?”

“Right.” He sighs. “I want to apologize for what I said in the lab. It was insensitive and I wasn’t thinking.”

I blink slowly, surprised. “What?”

“I’m apologizing.”

I wave off his apology. “No, I heard that part, I just don’t get why. I was abrupt and ran away. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

“I brushed off your concern, (Y/N). And they were valid concerns.” He pauses for a moment. “I want to know more about what you are. I want to understand how we can help you, even if this little project doesn’t work out.”

“I… really?”

“What, you think I can’t recognize when I need to step back and learn something?”

“N-no, it’s just a lot of shocking content for one day is all. It’s a lot to process.”

“I get it,” he says. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. We can sort something out.”

“No, it’s fine.” I bite my thumbnail before looking Tony in the eye. “Where do you want to start?”

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked this installment, please leave a response or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @baguettegirl, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101, @buckysendoftheline, @imagine-assembling-the-avengersm, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @liladeldiamandis, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @ilovebeingjoyful, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @not-that-type-of-person, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @silas-aeiou, @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @leahhavoc, @future-ll-evans, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux, @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @geeksareunique, @buckybcrnes, @nyxveracity, @idalinette, @tomorraw, @breezy1415, @feelmyroarrrr, @darling-loki, @lemonadeorange73, @thisismysecrethappyplace, @princess-unicorn124, @hermionie-is-my-queen, @tofeartheunknown, @queenoftheunderdark

This fic:

@ayatimascd, @sonoflac, @tomhardy41, @hawkxyes, @purplekitten30, @unknownuserhasjoined​

[crisisoninfintefandoms]

FANFIC FIRST LINES MEME

Oh boy, I was tagged by @cosmictuesdays, and I suck at linking usernames with writing and knowing who hasn’t or hasn’t done a meme yet, so if you see this on your dash and you haven’t done this yet CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED!!

OPENING LINES: List the first lines of your last 8 stories (if you  have  less than 8, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns.   Choose  your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors! or whatever!

I wasn’t sure whether to count a “series” of fic as all one thing, or a bunch of separate things, but ultimately decided with the former cause I think it gives a little more variety in the fics, and also makes the first lines actual absolute first lines, as opposed to anything picking up form where something else left off, if that makes sense, idk.

(on another note, I haven’t written or posted anything in a long as while, and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve even looked at my old stuff either, so this is gonna be interesting since I can’t really remember anything about anything lmao)

1: from Torment of Tantalus, Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit

“Hannibal hadn’t touched him since they’d dragged themselves out of the ocean and into Chiyoh’s boat.”

2: from The Kiss, Hannibal, Hannigram, rated T for Teen

““You once claimed to have changed me.””

3: from Dormire et Excitare/”The Infinitives Series”,  Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit

“Lately, Will had started thinking about sex with Hannibal.”

4: from You Are My Heart (Else I Would Cut You Out), hooboy I’d practically forgotten about this one Hannibal, Hannigram, rated E for Explicit like really no srsly read the warning on this one before reading

“There was no music but the clinking of cutlery.”

5: from Hands and Feet/“The Hands and Feet Verse”, Thor (movies), Loki/Thor, rated M for mature and E for Explicit this is another heavy warning one

““Get my belt and bring it here.””

6: from I'll Show You Mine, You Show Me Yours, Once Upon A Time, Archie Hopper/Mr Gold, rated E for Explicit

““I’m not…quite sure I understand what you’re proposing,” Gold said, brow creasing.”

7: from Camping, Star Trek TOS, Kirk/Spock, rated E for Explicit this one is actually probably one of my oldest fics from back in the day that I later uploaded to AO3, but I’m going in by order of posting there so here it is

““Camping?””

8: from Pushing Your Luck, Stargate Universe, Rush/Young, rated E for Explicit

“It didn’t start with dreams.”

AAAND the other part of this is supposed to be looking for patterns which, hoo boy, asking me to look at my own work without tearing it apart is a near Herculean task, but I’ll do my best. 

One thing I notice is there’s a bit of a tendency to jump right into things--a good number of them just start with dialogue, others are very quick mood/scene setters, and even the more “reflexive” or past oriented ones are kinda, idk, “this is what’s happening/this is what the character is thinking about RIGHT NOW (and what the story is gonna be about)” kinda deals. A lot of them feel actually kinda weird or abrupt to me, especially taken out of context? And, being generous, I think it’s cause I tend to put something very abrupt or that might not make much sense at first right up top, and then later in the next few paragraphs or pages back track a bit and give a bit more context. But I don’t really like to set up that context FIRST cause, idk, without that first bit it feels boring to me? Or maybe I’m just impatient, lol.  

Actually, now that I really think about it, while some of these might not show this on their own out of context, looking at them all together, and knowing what comes after, I’m realizing that nearly all of these are straight up Stating the Problem. Hannibal won’t touch Will and Will is bothered by this. Hannibal and Will have to come to terms with the profundity of how they have affected each other and what that means. Will is plagued by thoughts of Sexy Lecter and Sex With Sexy Lecter and has Complicated Feelings about this. Will and Hannibal aren’t talking at dinner because Reasons. Thor and Loki’s dad is an abusive asshole. Archie is trying to do a thing and Gold is Confused and maybe a little concerned frightened. Jim wants to go camping, and Spock doesn’t because Reasons. Rush is...well Rush is having a whole bunch of issues and upsetting dreams are just the start of that whole mess. Basically, the problem is stated, or at least strongly alluded to, then initially the problem is elaborated and/or expanded upon, and then the rest of the fic is resolving and/or making the problem worse. Basically. (And that makes it sound kinda fancy but let’s be real, a lot of the time the “problem” is “a person has complicated feelings and hangups about sex they wanna have” and “resolving the problem” is “they get over it and just fuck”, so let’s not have any pretentions here lol)   

Anyway, that’s my best stab at it, I’d of course love to hear what anyone else might have to say about it, but for now, there we are! Whatever that’s worth to ya’!

[purplesurveys]

1055

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - Surveys aside, do you use Tumblr for any other reason? Not anymore. I used to have a main blog, but it’s been years since I opened it; this is it (excuse the bad word in the URL lol, I thought it made me look like an edgy teen) but as I got older I used it less and less frequently until I no longer remember the password to log back in. These days I stay on Tumblr precisely because no one really uses it anymore, so it’s the perfect spot to hide this blog in.

2 - Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Do you update them all regularly? Depends on what you mean by a lot; I have all the basic ones - Twitter, IG, Facebook, YouTube, hell I still even have my Snapchat alive lol but I haven’t used it in like three years. I use YouTube the most but I don’t update it per se, like I just use it to watch videos. Facebook I’ve used a lot less often since the breakup, but I’ve shared a handful of posts since September. I’m probably on Twitter the most, but even then my usage hasn’t been the same.

3 - Does it bother you when your socks don’t match? What about your underwear? I don’t care for either situation, especially for underwear. Why would I care about something no one is ever going to see and even think about?

4 - How many times a year do you go on vacation? Do you tend to go to the same places each time? My family plans at least two trips, at least in non-Covid circumstances. We will sometimes repeat provinces but we never repeat hotels or sites, and we seldom repeat cities. The only places I remember visiting more than once are Baguio, Tagaytay, Albay, Subic, and Baler.

5 - How many times did it take you to pass your driving test? Just one. I could not afford to fuck it up; I was at the LTO for 8 hours and was not willing to go through that shitty long wait, so I absolutely had to pass that exam and do my best with the shitty car I had to work with.

6 - When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Nah they never used my whole name. My mom’s trademark is to add an -ah sound to my name when I’ve done something wrong though, as in Robina lol. That’s a sign I should know I shouldn’t have done what I did, whatever it is.

7 - Which family member do you look like the most? Which one do you resemble the most in terms of personality? People are always shocked to hear my mom is actually my mom and not my sister, because 1) we look very much alike, and 2) she looks young for her age. As for my personality, I’d say I’m a perfect split of my mom and dad. I exhibit an equal amount of traits they both have and I can’t tell which one I act like more.

8 - Have you ever been arrested? Never.

9 - Do you prefer Apple or Android? Apple. Would rather pay more than be stuck with an interface, camera, and emojis that I personally don’t like.

10 - Does getting sweaty or dirty bother you at all? If so, has it ever put you off doing exercise? I don’t sweat a lot, so I really do hate it when I feel beads of sweat on my temples or when the back of my shirt starts to feel damp. It doesn’t have anything to do with my feelings about exercising; I don’t like working out, period.

11 - Have you ever broken a bone? What were the circumstances that led to this happening? Never happened, hope it never happens.

12 - If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? I wish I didn’t get the hairy gene so that I didn’t have to shave too much; my hair to be a little livelier and bouncier; and my front teeth to be straighter.

13 - When was the last time your computer crashed or froze? is this something that happens often? It must’ve been around a month ago. It just got too busy, so it froze for a few seconds. My laptop’s a trooper and doesn’t crash/freeze a lot.

14 - Do you ever have problems with your sleep? It’s mid-sleep I’ve been having issues with; I get nightmares almost every night. I don’t have a problem falling asleep as I’m able to do so pretty quickly.

15 - What was the last thing you ate for breakfast? Is this a normal breakfast meal for you? Angel sent over a small box of chocolate chip cookies as a Christmas gift so I’ve been enjoying that :) I’m currently having it with warm coffee. My normal breakfast is no breakfast, so this is a treat for me. Before this I also had to eat my leftover Chapaghetti that I couldn’t finish last night.

16 -  Have you ever thought about how you want to spend your retirement? That has not come to mind a lot, actually. I think more about death than I do my retirement...but this question tells me I should probably take a few steps back. I’d simply love to live in comfort with the person I end up growing old with. For now, that’s all I see myself wanting.

17 - When was the last time you got a new tattoo or piercing? Do you have any plans to get either in the future? A little less than 22 years ago; my mom had my ears pierced when I was a few months old. Haven’t gotten any new ones, nor tattoos, since. I’d love to have a couple of tattoos. Some of my ideas are two pawprints for each of my dogs, a plate of nachos, and lyrics that are personally meaningful.

18 - How would you describe your personality? Oof, what a loaded question. Hmm, I guess I’d generally label myself as hardened until I get close with someone? I’ve always kept a wall up and as friendly and extroverted as I can be, I don’t enjoy letting just anyone in. I value my personal and private space, and it’s important that I don’t lose it. 

From another angle, I also like to keep doing nice things for other people, even at the expense of my own happiness and comfort. I have to keep making people happy to keep me pleased with myself and the world. Maybe it’s rooted in the fact that I’m the eldest daughter in an Asian family? Idrk, but all I know is that I’ve never had a problem putting other people first.

19 - Have you ever heard of “hygge”? is this something you enjoy or participate in at all? I have no idea what this is and I’ve never come across this word before.

20 - What colour was the last vehicle you travelled in? Does this vehicle belong to you or someone else? White. It’s the car that was given to me for college, but when all is said and done it’s not mine.

21 - Would you describe yourself as healthy? Why or why not? In some senses yes, in other senses no. I don’t exercise or actively watch my diet, and I certainly eat too much junk; so proactively speaking, I’m not super healthy. But generally, my gene pool has been pretty fortunate with health. Other than heart conditions that run in certain branches of the family, we’re relatively a healthy bunch.

22 - Would you describe yourself as messy or organised? Is this something you would like to change? It’s a balance of both. I’m very organized at work so I allow myself to let go in my personal space, like my closet and car. I do clean up from time to time and I still like my space to be neat, but I’m not as neurotic as I normally would be with my workspace.

23 - Do you miss anything about being a teenager? If you are a teenager, what’s your favourite thing about it? The innocence. It was a period of being ideal, being a dreamer, being as romantic about life as I wanted to be. It was also a period where you were allowed to make mistakes, because fucking up when you’re younger lets you off the hook. These are the biggest things I miss, but I don’t really find myself pining for my teenage days. I still like where I am, even if things are realistically a little duller in adulthood.

24 - Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? No. It’s hard to be when your country is shit.

25 - Have you ever had to wear a white lab coat before? Was this in school or for a job? Yeah we had lab coats in Lab class in high school, but they were green. We also needed safety goggles, and if I remember correctly if we had neither of these things we had to sit outside and skip out on the session.

26 - Would you ever want to do the same career(s) as your parents? I can see myself going down somewhere in the secretarial path like my mom as I’m good at organizing things and keeping internal affairs in order, but I don’t know if I would find it fulfilling. But in general, I wouldn’t want to be in the hotel and restaurant industry. I don’t have any attachments to it and I’ve always felt like I belonged in media and communications.

27 - Do you believe in aliens? Is there a reason why (or why not)? Yes. For the most part, it’s more comforting to think and believe that we’re not the only beings around.

28 - Which animated film would you most like to live in? Does it have to be a film? I’d love to be in the Fairly OddParents universe and have fairy godparents of my own.

29 - When was the last time you got into an argument? Have you made up with that person yet? Gab. I don’t know. She’s ignoring me.

30 - What are you going to do now this survey is over? Take another one.

--

1 - Have you ever had your computer or e-mail hacked? Did anything bad happen as a result? No but I had bad viruses on all of my Windows laptops before. The worst virus I got involved my laptop typing out some long-ass Vietnamese paragraphs for me at the most random times. It was like a horror movie lmao. Every time I Googled the text I never got any leads from it, so I never knew what it meant or what the virus was. 

2 - Do you prefer the company of people or animals? I don’t really have a preference when it comes to these two because their companionships are individually different. I like that animals can be playful and sweet; but I also like cracking jokes and having meaningful conversations with people.

3 - Are you a religious person? Were you raised in that faith or did you discover it a later date in life? I was born and raised Catholic, and still legally am. I never saw the appeal of the idea of being saved or of reading the Bible or anything that has to do with Christianity; and the idea of praying was weird to me even from childhood. A lot of Christians/Catholics I know are hypocrites anyway, and to me that says a lot about their mindset when it comes to religion.

4 - When was the last time you went to the beach? What did you do there? August 2019. My friends and I had a day trip to Nasugbu so we could have some fun before the semester started; we mostly swam and caught up with one another. August is a low season so we literally had the beach, the pool, and the poolside bar to ourselves.

5 - With all the COVID restrictions in place, would you feel happy/comfortable travelling abroad right now? Why/why not? I’d be happy, but not comfortable because of the swab test I would have to take hahaha. The selfish part of me is itching to go to other places already. I know my parents would put a million roadblocks to keep me from getting on a plane though, so me traveling is purely theoretical.

6 - How would you describe your dress sense? I like wearing flattering pieces but nothing too flashy or bright. I get items that are currently in style and make sure they match with the rest of my wardrobe, but at the end of the day I still like to blend in with the crowd and avoid neon colors, flashy labels, or whatever it is that would make me stand out.

7 - Do you wait until the sales start before you buy non-essential items? I never really pay attention to sales. It’s led to some pleasant surprises, like the other day when I was looking for a gift for my aunt. There was an H&M purse that caught my eye and it was so pretty, but way above my budget. I decided to get it anyway because that aunt throws amazing Christmas parties over the years and gives us lots of money, so I thought it could would be my way of giving back (especially since her company got hit hard by Covid). Once I got to the cashier the register showed it was like 60% off, even though there were no stickers on it and there was zero promotion anywhere in the store.

8 - What kind of milk do you prefer to drink (if you drink it at all)? I don’t drink milk, but I’m able to consume it in other dishes. I haven’t tried any types other than whole milk.

9 - Do you prefer blonde hair or brunette hair on your preferred sex? I don’t have preferences when it comes to hair color. We’re not really conditioned to consider this factor, since Filipinos have black hair.

10 - Would you be embarrassed to own the same clothing as one of your parents? No. I borrow stuff from my mom all the time. My sister also borrows some of my dad’s t-shirts, at least the ones that can fit her.

11 - When was the last time you wore some kind of fancy dress? Like...a gown? I’m not too sure. It must’ve been Alena’s debut three years ago since that’s the last fancy party I went to.

12 - Do you enjoy dressing up (ie. in suits or smart clothing)? When was the last time you did so? I like dressing up and making myself look cute, but dressing up formally not so much.

13 - What’s worse - being overdressed or underdressed? Personally, underdressed. I’d rather look too prepared than looking as if I didn’t care to look decent for whatever event I’m headed to.

14 - What do you think would be the worst thing about being stuck in solitary confinement? Not having any options or activities to do.

15 -  Have you ever owned an unusual or exotic pet? Would you want to? Nope. I would not want to have one. Unusual pet is just a euphemism for animals that shouldn’t be pets.

16 - How old were you when you learned to tie your shoelaces? I was 5 and had to learn it for a test in kindergarten.

17 - Do you enjoy decorating for the holidays? Sure, it makes me feel festive :)

18 - Would you rather go into a restaurant or just go via the drive-through? These days it’s more wise to use the drive-thru, but to be frank I’ve missed dining in. I would opt for the restaurant but make sure to follow safety protocols in the area.

19 - Do you like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist? I’ve actually always found trips to the dentist soothing, even as a kid. The only time I ever really freaked out was when I went last year to have a tooth removed and I was told that I needed an anaesthesia shot on my gums; even then, I didn’t even feel anything when it finally happened.

20 - Have you ever had a gun drawn on you before? Maybe? My cousins and friends and I doodled on each other a lot as kids.

21 - When was the last time you went to a petting zoo? I’ve never been to one and idk if I can go to one.

22 - Do you bite your nails? Could you physically bite your toenails if you stretched enough? Sometimes I’ll gnaw at my nails and then scrape them off. I’ve found it more satisfying than biting them all the way off. I could definitely bite my toenails, but I choose not to.

23 - How old were you when you first started using Tumblr? Have you had the same blog all that time? It wasssssss 2010, so I was 11 at the time. Nah, I deactivated that blog only after a year of using it and then I shifted to a wrestling blog.

24 - Are you a fan of practical jokes? If I’m watching celebrities pull it on another celebrities, yeah. Most of the time I get anxious that the recipient would react negatively, so I don’t watch a lot of pranks.

25 - How many years older and younger than you would you consider dating? Is this a concrete thing or would you make an exception for the right person? It will still depend on the latter condition, of course; but theoretically I would like to keep seeing people my exact age. No more and no less than the year 1998. Growing up with relatives in such close age to me makes me feel like I’d be dating an older cousin if it was someone a year older, and my sister if it was someone a year younger.

26 - Who did you vote for in the last US elections? If you’re not in the US, who would you have voted for? I don’t live in the US; I would have voted for Biden.

27 - Are you a fan of reddit? What are some of your favourite subreddits? Sure. I don’t visit it as much as I used to, but I still go on there when I’m bored and in need of entertaining or educational content. r/AskReddit is a classic fave of mine, but I also go on r/interestingasfuck, r/todayilearned, r/mildlyinteresting, r/dataisbeautiful, r/SquaredCircle, and r/goodmythicalmorning. Sometimes I’ll visit the r/AmItheAsshole sub as well to have some fun lol.

28 - Have you ever watched those YouTube videos of people popping their own spots or zits? Do you find them gross or fascinating? Not those, but I’ve looked up earwax extractions and blackhead removals before.

29 - What’s a food you hated as a kid but love now? How about vice versa? Chicken curry is probably my best example because I’m obsessed with all kinds of curry now, whether it’s Indian butter chicken, Thai green curry, or Japanese curry. I didn’t understand the complex flavors as a kid, but I’m got to appreciate more and more as I got older.

30 - Do you prefer socks, shoes or going bare foot? Idk, I feel like all these choices are useful and convenient in their own different situations? I’m barefoot when I’m at home but put on socks when it’s chilly, and I wear shoes when I’m outdoors.

[omega-deku]

So I would love to progress on my art and try comics any tips? ÙwÚ

Hi! I’m so sorry about the late reply. D: I hope you don’t mind if I take this opportunity to address all the anon messages about how we can improve as artists. 

I have a tough time answering this question because there is so much I need to learn. I’m super flattered that some of you feel that my art is good enough to ask me for tips, first of all!! So thank you, guys. <3

It’s a struggle because I only recently started taking up art again. So I’ve forgotten a lot of the things. So I’m probably not the best person to ask about this.

I used to draw all the time as a kid, but after high school, I stopped drawing. I stopped drawing for almost a decade, pretty much. I really regret it. I feel like I could have come such a long way if I did keep going. My parents really discouraged me from pursuing art, even just as a hobby, too. Even when I left home (I’m back now tho), my ex-spouse, greatly discouraged me from doing art too. I mean, “proper” art. They told me my art wasn’t “real art” because it’s not studio art, it’s “sellout” art, like anime/cartoons/fanart. I had even worse self-esteem as I do now, and I listened to them and gave up. I convinced myself I hated drawing. 

Please don’t deny yourself things that make you feel engaged and connected. If drawing makes you feel good, if it makes you not realize how much time has passed and makes you feel like you’re accomplishing things, even little by little, please don’t stop. Even if you suffer from depression and feel like things like this are pointless, remember that just doing things in general will help you. Drawing is an awesome way to get into the flow state. To me personally, it’s almost like a meditative state and I find it helpful in dealing with chronic pain and mental health issues. 

Anyways, I’ll try to compile some advice sort of things.

ART IN GENERAL

1. Draw what you enjoy! I think the most important thing is to draw what you like. It’s okay if it’s “dumb stuff”. Draw your favorite characters or pairings from your favorite tv shows if that tickles your fancy! You’re much more likely to be spending more time drawing if you’re drawing stuff you like. And as long as you’re drawing, you’re improving. (But still, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone!)

Especially for those of you who are planning to pursue art as a career, it’s essential that you don’t view practicing art as a chore. 

2. Draw from life. If you really want to take your art to the next level, drawing from life is vital! I think many of us have come across artists who are just amazing, but there are things that look a little “off”. For example, the anatomy doesn’t look quite right, or the perspective is a little wonky. Things like that can be a tell that they’ve learned to draw from other people’s art rather than from life. Or just haven’t practiced the basics enough. (My art isn’t amazing or anything close to that lmao, but it definitely suffers from this. I need lots of life drawing practice.)

There is nothing wrong with learning from your favorite artists, but to really train your “artist’s eye”, you need to strip away all the stylistic choices and go back to the basics. Training that Eye is one of the most crucial things you could do as an artist. 

Just take a piece of paper, a pencil and start drawing what you see. If you can, take figure drawing classes at your local community college, or draw the animals you see at the zoo. Sit on a bench and draw the scenery in front of you. Over time, you’ll start to recognize common patterns, simplify/think of things in terms of lines and shapes.

If you can’t afford a class or have the ability to go outside easily, drawing from photographs can be the next best thing. (See the Resources below for an online figure drawing tool.) I’m not experienced enough to definitively say why this isn’t the #1 idea, but from what I hear, there are things that you’ll miss out on, such as subtle shifts in shadows, colors, and other things that will happen from small movements in pose changes, a cloud moving, or whatever else. A different “feel”, if you will.

With the digital art boom, a lot of artists are learning how to do cool digital effects and fancy things, but forgoing basic anatomy, perspective, shading, etc. Which is all fine if you’re just having fun, but isn’t the best idea if you’re really serious about improving. Practice the fundamentals!

(If you have been dreaming about CalArts at one point like I did when I was in high school, one advice I came across from everyone who went there was to draw from life. All the time. It’s not an answer I expected from people who draw funny looking characters all day. You mean all these people who draw such simplified cartoon people and animals can actually draw like masters? Perfectly rendered bowls of fruit? I didn’t realize how much work goes into animating simple characters.)

3. Put in the time. 

It’s really easy to get suckered into just watching “how to improve” videos all day and thinking about improving. Watching how other artists work is an important learning tool, but you’ll never actually make progress if you aren’t practicing. 

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to not think about it. Just do it. 

It’s like when I’m spending a whole lotta time thinking about getting physically fit than just, you know.. just doing it. “Tomorrow for sure.” 

It may seem like it’s worthless, but doing those lame 5 push-ups a day instead of the 20-minute workout you wanted to put in, is better than nothing at all. You are making progress, no matter how small it may seem.  

Make it a habit to practice every day. That way, you don’t even hesitate. It’s as automatic as brushing your teeth.

All the artists you see who have fantastic, awe-inspiring art may seem like Unreachable Gods sometimes, but those artists didn’t just pull that out of their ass one day. They put in hours and hours and hours of work. Let’s not disrespect other artists by ignoring that and chalking it up to “talent”. No one is born with an innate ability to draw. WE can get there too if we practice!

I want to get good enough to draw the things I have in my head one day!

Some resources that may be helpful:

Draw a Box - This is a site for free lessons for absolute beginners. Look under “Lessons” to learn. The creator of the site is the mod for r/ArtFundamentals. You can post your work there to get critiqued.

Check out Proko’s videos on gesture drawing, art fundamentals, etc. Daily routines of successful artists.

Use this site to practice figure drawing, gesture drawing - Set aside some time to practice drawing people and animals every day. Start trying to see things as lines, shapes, and go big. Don’t get too caught up in the details, and tiny drawings. Learning to draw fast (not draw FAST as in speed, but as in capture the gesture in a post, the “feel” of the movement) will force you to do this more, and with more experience, make your figures less stiff looking. 

And it’s okay if you’re aren’t good at it. You’ll make loads and loads of shit drawings until you can get decent. 

I’m most definitely in this stage right now, trying to train my Artist’s Eye. As in, I can’t just draw a figure from memory. I don’t really know what goes where without a reference, or how they move, etc. You can tell by how stiff my drawings look.

Lulusketches How to Improve video - She has similar advice, but her point about looking at “Art of” books something I have come across from multiple professional artists; Her advice on worrying about finding your own “style” is really good too. Do challenges like she said!

Her playlist of art tutorials & advice is great. They’re short and sweet. Her beginner digital art tutorial got me started on digital art (the one with Ginny Weasley). 

Not free ($30 a month), but these online Schoolism classes look helpful. It’s run by Bobbie Chiu. I saw some great reviews and I want to try them someday. They’re taught by artists in the animation/film industry. But you gotta have a basic grasp on digital art/photoshop for many of the classes, I think? I’m not 100% sure. They’re pre-recorded video lessons. 

You can pay more for feedback from the teachers, but you can also just use it as a self-learning guide. 

This drawing faces from any angle video was pretty helpful for me. The artist has loads of other tutorials.

COMICS

I don’t feel qualified enough to give much advice on comics. I mean, I don’t even draw the lines for the boxes, haha.. However, these comic books are basically required reading for some courses:

Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics & Making Comics.

I can’t remember which one it is that I read, I think it was Making Comics? But wow, if I remember correctly, it was FULL of really useful things about how to make effective comics. I lost the book while moving years ago, but it was FANTASTIC learning material. I loved every panel of it. 

He talks about everything from perspective, placement of characters, speech bubbles, how big panels should be, etc. 

If you can afford it, get a used one and start reading! Even if you don’t want to make comics just yet, it’s super interesting. 

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

cass won't share her cheese nibs and bruce doesn't love me and i think?? that i deserve better??? than this???? i'm moving to alaska where NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

the sequel to that one trix yogurt fic

I feel like I should tell you that I am MASSIVELY fucked up right now 

 like i am such a garbage heap that oscar the grouch took a look at me and said 

 “fuckk off!! i have standards!” 

anyways

it’s Brimothy, bitch

what is UP mothertrucksrs it is Me i am back here to write a report on the UNBELIEVABLE SHIT I JUST HANDLED.

okay so u know how Gotham city is on crack cocaine all the time. with like some LSD and heroin and never ever any weed except for like who is that pig guy?? nevrm he doesn’t have weeeed but like he is definitely a Pig. what the fuck is his name. what the fuck.

 okay so anyways 

 is it Goyle

 Doyle

 Pigoyle 

 tin foil? lmao

OKAY FUCK anyways the City, who Also May Be My Lover, is in a constant life crisis (which i relate? a Lot) and do you want to know this s h i t

Crocodile

Killer Croc

who Steve Irwin would be v disappointed in

Is climbing

into people’s FUCKING TOILETS

???????????????

THIS ISN’T FLORIDA

THIS IS NEW JERSEY

WE WEAR SHOES IN THE WINTER

WHAT SORT OF FLIP-FLOP WEARING CUCKER DOES HE THINK HE IS

okay so obviously KC is a big guy. a Dude. a whack-o whaler of a Male. a Big Boh. the largest banananana in the pack. he is Big. so he cAn’t fit into most people’s toilets. he can, however, fit into Big People’s toilets (big as in wealthy, not As in Tom Hanks)

so KC (crispy,,,nuggest…i wonder if fried alligator is good—not that im thinking of eating him, though someone really should threaten him with cannibalism, like if you’re going to be a bitch about it then you deserve the same done to you, it’s just manners) is in cahoots and canoodles with Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (not bc i don’t know, I do, that’s how detectives work. it’s my JOB to know, and i was a prodigy) but bc there is a whole other report detailing this person and their movements and its case file #4461 if u don’t believe me, but i ain’t no snitch, but i will say that tonight’s events connect to file #4461 so Dad if you’re reading this you should already have it out bc it’s your JOB

speaking of jobs ding ding here is mine coming round the mountain as she comes bc the apple bottom jeans the boots with the fur will be coming round the mountain when she comes shE’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll b e coming round and getting low low low low low l ow low

It was a crisp October night. The sun was blinking its sleepy lids, setting the ballroom with an incandescent glow. Bruce Wayne strode across the floor, his daughter Cassandra accompanying him. They wore matching expressions that the privileged always wear: guarded, yet hungry. Hungry for what? Probably for the crab cakes just out of reach. Neither of them had an allergy, and Cassandra in particular had a propensity to shove anything edible in her mouth, so it really was a tragedy that those crab cakes were all the way across the room. There should really be a table right in the middle of the dance floor just for snacks. That way caterers wouldn’t have to do so much leg work, which is actually a good thing, because that ballroom floor is slippery af. This narrator should know, he has Died A Few Times getting there. Suddenly, the night’s festivities were interrupted by a social faux pas: a scream.

You don’t just scream at regular parties, it’s uncouth and hysterical. But you can scream if the social boundaries have already been crossed, and boy, were they crossed.

You see, Dear Reader, there was a man in the toilet.

I use the term “man” loosely, as his glaring yellow eyes do wonders when you might just crap your pantaloons. You start imagining things, like dinosaurs whcih i am personally a big fan of bc Jurassic Park has a kid named Tim in it and I am also Tim.

 hI y is our toilet so big that Killer Croc could wiggle his way up? also how long can he hold his breath. 

 it seems to be impressively long

 hey Bdad how long can he hold his breath? please let me know if you can, and if you won’t i will eat all your wafers becauzs i wa

Mrs. Trenton screamed and fled the impertinent bathroom guest, who wasted no time in ripping the commode to pieces. There was a roar and all the guests paused, unsure if it was merely pipe problems or if they were under attack.

Reader: They were, in fact, under attack. 

The guests, deciding that Mrs. Trenton was a social entrepreneur, followed her lead and began to scream. Killer Croc had made it to ballroom, standing at an impressive height just outside the doors.

He was Not wearing a shirt.

okay have u ever noticed that Killer Crog hasn’t got any nipples????? where are they? he’s got pecs but no nipples?? 

where did they go where are his nip nops i kno people don’t like to think about this but i hAve wondered since i was like 13 like where did they go. has anyone ever asked him. 

did they fall off

“Take the crab cakes!” shouted Matthew Fielder, a lil bitch.

“No, take me!” said Cassandra Wayne, who would literally rather die than give up those crab cakes.

Killer Croc paid them no heed. He desired one thing and one thing only, the sweet satisfaction for his carnal craving: Humain Flesh.

(alliteration hell yeah hell yeah take that Mrs. Johnson i do know shit and im creative as well u jusy don’t know how my brian works it’s like a golden goose egg trap ye ye ye)

 i just Realized 

 i am…a high school drop out

 i don’t know why im doing this

Dear Reader, as an Aside: Smoking can lead to many health issues, especially if one begins smoking at a young age. Harmful side effects include increased risk of stroke and brain damage; muscular degeneration, eye cataracts; cancer of lips, nose, tongue, and mouth, and nipple loss.

 Jason you may want to have a talk with you and your mipples

The terror in the air was stifling. Cannibalism conduct was not something conveyed in etiquette classes. Rich people never expect to be eaten.

Reader, everyone hardly breathed. Something deeply primal had occurred. 

From the doorway the golden eyes struck. Deadly. Lethal. Hungry. 

This was more than vengeance. It was a sadistic occasion of play.

  okay good thing Dames wasn’t there because he fucking HATES KC he gets all huffy and shrieky about him like “he’s a HYGIENE PROBLEM” and it’s like,,,,,.ur right but i don’t want to agree with you because where do we stand if i do that?? as brothers???

 i think the fuck not 

anyways i just realized i’ve been calling Waylon Jones KC the entire damn time (NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE) but to be fucking h, he wants to to be called that. i called him Allen once and he was so PISSED so i can only think of actually calling him by his name. he wouldn’t even be chill with me naming the sewer alligators even tho they were awesome names. i called one Dundee. that’s fucking genius. that’s just. i’m fucking amazing. stupenous. and unappreciated.

 maybe his nipples fell off because he swims in shit every night?????

 question: why do i swim in shit almost as often 

 what the dfck

 what are my life choices

 i feel like there should have been some fine print involved here 

 “Robin duties include scraping shit off your asschreks 3 times a week”

 mahbe,,,,maybe not what i want 

 personal choice

though i haven’t really seen any alligators in the sewers for years now, which is

oh my god OH MY GOD HE ATE THEM  HE ATE THEM OH MY GOD  OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING  HE FUCKING. HE. HE ATE HIMSELF  HE FUCNING ATE HIMAELF AND HIS FAMILY HIS COUSINS HIS CPOUSINS  HIS FAMILY OH MY GOD  THIS IS LIKE MY 8TH GRADE GRADUATION ALL OVER AGAIN

im so disturbed……..i like, need to eat something. Fucking hell. this Not what i had in mind when i decided to be alive.

i feel like as if i woke up one day and i was the only one in the entire world who remembered Caillou. also could pull off my face and eat it like taffy. imw so. i.

mom i know i refused to go to Shabbat when i was ten so i don’t get to say this but:

this is Not kosher 

oh heyy i want some pIckes

i was also thinking of takin a spin class?? like fuck it i like to bike. fuck it. and maybe iwdont want bruce and nigtwink fucking watxhing me with their beady eyes. like get those off my calves. my cleavage is up here, gentlemen. stop talking about proper form. some people can do things and suck at them. i’m never going to be like a professional ice curler. and i shouldn’t feel bad about that. who the fuck curls for fun. maybe Canada???????

note to self: look up the history of the sport of curling 

i’m going to get good at it to piss off Jason

Back On Topic:

Killer Croc took a step forward. His mouth trembled, watering in anticipation. He took another step.

Mrs. Trenton drew in a breath. 

The room was silent. 

Far across the room, Bruce Wayne clenched his champagne glass. Cassandra Wayne stopped chewing the crab cakes.  Reader, I won’t mince words: Waylon Jones crossed the threshold.

  and the instant he put his foot down on the ballroom floor he fucking slipped like a drunkass toddler

like when Damian is really really tired bc he’s like 2 years old (only an evil 2 years old like chucky) and Jason tries to give him a high five 

gremlin still doesn’t get that “down low” precedes “too slow” 

and he like. faceplants

onto the fucking concrete 

and then Bruce yells at Jason 

and then Jason yells back

“I NEVER ASKED FOR SIBLINGS”

like it was something we all did, like wrote it down on our batmas lists for Brucie Claus 

and im sitting there, a perennial Forgotten Middle Child

and Damian is like still. on the ground.

anyways KC is just slipping across the ballroom, slippering and sliding bc the floor was just waxed and it’s silent except for the wet slaps of his feet against the floor and the screech his tail makes every time he trips (sort of like this) and when he sometimes falls it makes that sound of when your thighs SLAP against the mats and it sounds like a wet walrus coming to cheer you on while a Giant simultaneously swallows a liquid-filled gummy worm down his throat like QAWAGGHHHHHHH only his falls reverberated against the ceiling panels and the cherubs looked down in like. disgust.

Cass began chewing the crab cakes again by the time Killer Croc fell for the twelfth time so idk it was an embarrassing situation

 we all did that Thing people do when a social barrier is breached 

 we like…..avoided each other’s eyes and made light conversation 

 meanwhile Killer Croc’s body screeched in the background

anyways Matthew Fielder was like “so I hear you dance ballet” and Cass responded “uh huh. tap too” and the chewed up crab cake crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the floor

 i CAN’T

scrambled cock on a cracker, Cass why does Alfred let this happen????? what is this??????  like she can snort creme puffs like cocaine but GOD FORBID i put my elbows on the table and call damian “a poisonous little bitch” because he ate my croutons

 the standards in this family are unbelievable

So everyone is just talking and Mrs. Trenton is sipping champagne now and Luis Alvarez is doing that thing where he starts trying to eat caviar one teeny tiny egg at a time and KC is just like WHUMPH for the thirtieth time

finally dad takes pity on him and crouches down and is like “hey how you doing slugger” which???? Offended me. Very Much.

that’s MY nickname 

has Waylon No-Nipples Jones been adopted by Bruce Wayne??? has Waylon No-Nipples Jones retrieved HIS sorry ass from time?? i don’t fucking think so 

the audacity of this man

but before Killer Croc can reply

Red Hood

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM

guns out, voice modulator kind of fuzzy like a broke refrigerator that makes an “eeeeeeeeeee” sound ever since i tripped over it and fell on it

 which wASN’T MY FAULT 

 IM NOT “deformed baby zebra clumsy” FUCK YOU JASON 

 MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T KEEP HIS EXPENSIVE HELMET ON THE FLOOR THEN 

 you know what? I’m GLAD i tripped over it.

 yeah. suck it. 

 im glad you sound like a 90s japanese transistor radio 

 off brand too

 fuck you 

 I GOT A BRUISE NOT THAT ANYONE CARES 

 even Bruce was like “hey tim you need to watch where you’re going”

 ???

 how about YOU watch where YOU’RE GOING 

 “where” as in TIME TRAVEL 

 REMEMBER THAT BRUCE 

 REMEMBER THAT?!???????

 HUH BIG GUY?!???????!!???

 no one is allowed to criticize me from now on

 i am Above Reproach 

    anyways yeah Red Hood appears at the party and shoots KC and Bruce was like “why the FUCK would you SHOOT HIM” as if he has some misplaced paternal feeling for Waylon No-Nipples Jones because he called him slugger which is something he calls one of his other kids but whatever im not bitter im just insecure and sad all the time but don’t worry about it maybe i’ll die one day and you’ll all be sorry especially about Certain Things like not sharing cheese nibs huh Cassandra

so RH and Bruce Wayne kind of argue. like. literally sniping at each other bc SOMEBODY forgot that Red Hood is a criminal and not their misplaced son and RH is like “it’s!!!!! a tranquilizer!!!!! ya big hoe!!!!!” only he doesn’t really say it like that but everyone isn’t even listening at this point because this party has already been so goddamn weird and we’re all suffering from secondhand embarrassment

i am Assuming,,,,,that Killer Croc Jones “Jonsie No-Nipples” has been taken away to be put into jail and studied for his non-nipple properties but at this point i’ve been sitting here huffing that cold medicine or whatever Bruce gave me. which

 oh yeah i was crushed earlier 

 it was by “slugger” but whatever

 yeah his body broke mine 

 it was because Bruce and Jason were fighting again and not paying attention so 

 KC was tranquillized and like 

 fell on me 

 he drooled on me too 

 those ballroom floors really hurt 

 like my head feels like mush 

 Alfred’s oatmeal 

 on its second day 

 because i refused to eat it on the first day 

 that man has a spine of Steel and he Does Not Let You Waste Food 

 btw he fell on me because i pushed Luis Alvarez out of the way 

 he was really transfixed by those tiny fish eggs 

 it’s fun to put them on your tongue and let them like slide around 

 so i pushed him out of the way and was promptly crushed to death 

 B said something about a broken collarbone 

 i am more worried about a broken butt 

 fuck

 my coccyx

PROFESSOR PYM wait no shit that’s a comic book character

anyways my butt is broken and im hungry and dad wouldn’t let me get out of the chair so i write up this report because I am A Real Life Detective and I do my JOB

once again im the best

hey red jood can you get me some cheese nibs cassandrA won’t share which is p mean especially since i was all for being eaten to give her those crab cakes  red hoof red  why isn’t he responding to me i want xheese nibs red hanz  red  red  Red Hood please I require sustenance  red fhau red gjji red hhood ted joood redb hood red red edds red red edd dedd red red red red red wd red  what the fuck what a right bastard sometimes oh hi Badaman

EDIT: His name is “Pyg.”  Fucking. Pyg. Points taken off for unoriginality.

decided to have a tumblr version too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 Annual 1976

Special thanks to @maxwellelvis for taking most of this one off my hands!

Mon Aug 12 2019 [09:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay. This is that Event I told you about. [09:46 PM] Wack'd: You tell me about a lot of Events [09:48 PM] Wack'd: Man it's weird that the Fantastic Four have a Danger Room [09:48 PM] Aleph Null: yes but you can't fuck this one [09:48 PM] Wack'd: If this were the 80s and 90s when suddenly the X-Men were the next big thing and people were bending over backwards to make the Fantastic Four fit that mold, sure [09:48 PM] Wack'd: Here in the 70s it's just weird [09:49 PM] Wack'd: God this is such a mom joke

[09:50 PM] Wack'd: A running gag that's gone unacknowledged as of late is Ben interrupting Reed before he can finish his technobabble

[09:51 PM] Wack'd: It's always hard to know spur of the moment what's worth pointing out and what isn't, until suddenly you realize that a pattern has been continuing for like six issues and you haven't said anything [09:51 PM] Umbramatic: rip [09:52 PM] Wack'd: Reed didn't you build a robot to fix things for this express purpose?

[09:52 PM] Wack'd: You did, way back in #119! [09:53 PM] Wack'd: Roy Thomas remembers 1962 better than he remembers his own damn issues

[09:54 PM] Wack'd: "Wait a minute! You guys are Nazis!"

[09:55 PM] Umbramatic: KILL THE NAZIS KILL THE NAZIS [09:55 PM] maxwellelvis: *Venture Bros music* [09:56 PM] Wack'd: I don't think you are going to be embarrassed. Not because these guys are Nazis but because beating up Nazi cosplayers is still a good thing to do

[09:57 PM] Wack'd:

Sue: Why are these men still fighting World War II more than three decades after it ended? Johnny: You might as well ask the Late Late Show the same thing, Sue.

[09:57 PM] Wack'd: Johnny confirmed for a big fan of Irish television [09:58 PM] Umbramatic: pffft [09:59 PM] maxwellelvis: I've got my 2-in-1 TPB with me so I can read this along with you. [09:59 PM] Wack'd: AND NOW THE RESOLUTION OF A PLOTHOLE THAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING PEOPLE FOR YEARS [10:00 PM] Wack'd: Yes, Doom did take his time machine back. Reed just copied the blueprints first and then made a new one [10:00 PM] Wack'd: Problem solved [10:00 PM] Umbramatic: oh my [10:01 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Reed is started to learn that the Nazis came from 1946 London. Willing to bet this is something to do with the vibranium that fell in there [10:01 PM] maxwellelvis: You skipped over the part where, when Reed and Sue first start puzzling out how the heck these guys got here, the next page shows Ben just WAILING on one of the troops and yelling at him for making his friends all upset. [10:02 PM] Wack'd: I skip over a lot of things if they insufficiently amuse me or aren't relevant to any particular narrative [10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: "Now see whatcha gone an' done, Otto? You got my ol' buddy here upset an' I ain't even hit ya yet." [10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: I know, but I just found that amusing. [10:04 PM] Wack'd: So the Watcher shows up but is doing his damndest not to interfere after having been put on trial over in Captain Marvel [10:05 PM] Wack'd: *siiiiiigh* Okay, guess we're doin' this

[10:05 PM] Wack'd: I hate "what if the Nazis won" stories that don't account for the historical reality that these guys were kind of dipshits [10:05 PM] Wack'd: I hate them so much [10:05 PM] Wack'd: THEY DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO CONQUER THE UNITED STATES [10:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but these are comic book Nazis, remember that. [10:06 PM] Aleph Null: not now max [10:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Shutting up [10:07 PM] Umbramatic: oh great the one way you could make Cleveland worse [10:07 PM] Wack'd: Thomas knows juuuuuuust enough history to irritate me

[10:07 PM] Aleph Null: LMAO [10:07 PM] Larena: People like to pretend the Nazis were these tactical geniuses but they really fucking weren't [10:09 PM] Wack'd: Seriously Thomas knows the Lee/Kirby lore better than he knows his own

[10:09 PM] Umbramatic: heck [10:09 PM] Wack'd: Also, all the long-range missiles in the world aren't going to change their lack of tactical proficiency, or Ally advantages, or the fact that the ground war was going poorly... [10:10 PM] Wack'd: Whatever, the longer I complain about this the longer this issue lasts [10:10 PM] Wack'd: Watcher, satisfied Reed has cracked this, vanishes, and the Four head off into the past [10:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Smack-dab in the middle of a strategy planning session being overseen by THE INVADERS in London HQ. They're planning a raid of Castle Wolfenstein--sorry, Castle Cherbelle. [10:12 PM] Umbramatic: lel [10:13 PM] Wack'd: Hey Max? I know you're enjoying having the issue on hand but if I have to wait for you to say things it's gonna drag this out and, as mentioned, I'm not super into this one [10:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Sorry [10:13 PM] Wack'd: Anyway yeah, what he said

[10:14 PM] Wack'd: ...actually...do you wanna do this issue for me? And I'll just put relevant images where needed [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Sure. [10:14 PM] Wack'd: Thanks! [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: So the inevitable fight happens. [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Some things of note: [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Namor is a hotheaded dick no matter what decade it is [10:14 PM] Wack'd:

[10:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Powerless or no, I feel like Namor calling Ben a Nazi would result in him being ripped limb from limb [10:15 PM] Wack'd: Hint that Ben is Jewish #354

[10:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny is rather awestruck to see the Original Human Torch and Toro, and just barely manages to parry their last volley of fireballs [10:16 PM] maxwellelvis: Bucky is useless as always [10:16 PM] maxwellelvis: and Cap almost immediately realizes that the smart thing to do is to break up this little ballroom blitz. [10:16 PM] Wack'd: THE WINTER SOLDIER EVERYONE

[10:17 PM] maxwellelvis: Reed does the same, dousing the Torches and getting everyone to cool off. [10:18 PM] maxwellelvis: So the FF explain who, what, where, when, and why, a French Resistance liaison confirms that something rotten is up in Castle Cherelle, especially that the operation there is being overseen by one Baron Heinrich Zemo. [10:19 PM] Wack'd: ...was this really their catchphrase

[10:19 PM] maxwellelvis: Probably? [10:19 PM] Wack'd: Hehehehe [10:19 PM] Wack'd: What dorks [10:19 PM] maxwellelvis: I've not read much Invaders, but it seems like they're trying to channel the spirit of the All-Winners Squadron [10:20 PM] Wack'd: Every comic book website ever uses it as a headline when there's Invaders news [10:21 PM] maxwellelvis: So, they make it as far as France in one of Namor's airships, but are ambushed by Stukas. Toro is even more hotheaded than Johnny and wants to go out and flash-fry them, but Hammond tells him to stand down, they can't afford to give away their position to Zemo before they even reach the castle. [10:21 PM] Wack'd: This is even dorky or when you consider that the Invaders are an invention of the mid-century war comics scene [10:21 PM] Wack'd: And not a team that ever actually existed in the 40s [10:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, the All-Winners Squadron I think was a thing, not sure if they ever all teamed up though. It might have been before the JSA. [10:22 PM] Wack'd: Oh! Yep [10:22 PM] Umbramatic: oh huh [10:22 PM] Wack'd: Line-up did have Cap, Bucky, Namor, Toro, and Human Torch back in the 40s [10:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Just before the reach the castle, we get a shot of the Watcher's face in the clouds, indicating that yeah, they're on the right path. Bucky gets creeped out by it. Ben just feels even more nervous now. [10:23 PM] Wack'd: The name "Invaders" is a flagrant retcon though, as is the absence of Whizzer, Miss America, Blond Phantom, and Angel [10:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Miss America is elsewhere now. More on that later. [10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, they land mostly undetected, have time for a character bit or two, and split up to cover more ground [10:24 PM] Wack'd: Well hang on! [10:24 PM] Wack'd: Don't gloss over character bits! Love character bits! [10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [10:25 PM] Wack'd: Oh this is just exposition [10:25 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [10:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Reed realizes that while they're here, he and Ben are also just now signing up and gets goosebumps, which is rare for him. [10:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Namor professes his hatred of stealth tactics, showing yet again why he will be a Good King [10:26 PM] Wack'd: (So long as I'm tracking when the sliding timescale kicks in, the fact that Reed and Ben are still WWII vets is probably worth noting) [10:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Speaking of which, Reed also gets weirded out at teaming up with a younger Namor and scolds himself for playing Jealous Husband [10:26 PM] Wack'd: And Sue is apparently still a bit hot under the collar [10:27 PM] Wack'd: viagra joke

[10:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I can't blame her here. Dude just refuses to age. How DARE he be so good looking for so many decades? [10:27 PM] Wack'd: The Face of Beauty

[10:28 PM] maxwellelvis: The Torches all team up and it's... interesting at least in black and white to see how the pencils and inks try to make three guys with the same power all look distinct. [10:28 PM] Aleph Null: sue was a star trek fan and really liked spock [10:28 PM] Aleph Null: that's what i'm going with [10:28 PM] Wack'd: Historically what happens here [10:28 PM] maxwellelvis: How does it look in color, Wack'd? [10:29 PM] Wack'd: Is that Johnny is stuck with the all-red-with-stripes look, while Jim looks like actual flames are coming off him--in accordance with how he was drawn in the 40s [10:30 PM] maxwellelvis: And Toro has that look even moreso, at least here. [10:30 PM] Wack'd: I'm going to be completely honest, in this issue, I can't tell any of the three apart [10:30 PM] maxwellelvis: So Namor and the Richards' bust up a weapons plant. [10:30 PM] Wack'd: It's all down to dialogue quirks [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: He floods the place in his temper. [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Skipping over that because the NEXT part is fun. [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: We get to revisit the events that lead up to Cap getting frozen and Bucky's "death" [10:32 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny's turn to get the willies as he realizes who these two guys are and what's going to happen to them, things he can't try to prevent or risk more damage to spacetime [10:34 PM] maxwellelvis: So they bust up central ops, then Cap has a confrontation with Zemo. The shield shatters the tank full of Adhesive X, trapping Zemo in his hood for the rest of his days, though in this retelling, Cap actually tries to help Zemo, who refuses and says that not only can nothing get it off him, but he'd rather die than surrender, or better yet, he'll just kill Cap. [10:35 PM] maxwellelvis: Zemo escapes down a tunnel and though Johnny CAN keep up with him, he simultaneously CAN'T because he has no way of knowing if the escape tunnel is booby-trapped and so he loses Zemo in his hesitation. [10:35 PM] maxwellelvis: Meanwhile, Ben and the other Torches take out the V2 bay. [10:36 PM] Wack'd: Yeah they're really going all in on the 60s look for all the Torches here [10:36 PM] maxwellelvis: One of the missiles gets fired, with Ben on it. Jim and Toro can't keep up, but Ben manages to sabotage the missile in midair and steer it back to the castle and pull a Slim Pickens. [10:37 PM] Wack'd: Just a little scruff of hair on the top to tell them apart

[10:37 PM] maxwellelvis: Which is weird because you wouldn't suspect that from just the lineart [10:37 PM] maxwellelvis: which is what I have. [10:37 PM] Wack'd:

[10:38 PM] maxwellelvis: "I thought I died an' went ta Heaven, but then how come I'm lookin' at YOUR ugly kisser, Stretcho?" They managed to get out in time and save Ben from scattering himself all over France. [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: And assuming that no Vibranium survived the explosion, all is well that ends well. [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: Well... [10:39 PM] Umbramatic: something something dr strangelove [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: except Uatu is still in the Baxter Building [10:39 PM] Wack'd:

[10:40 PM] maxwellelvis: Ben realizes that, if the Watcher is still here, that means, that not all of the Vibranium was in the castle. Uatu says nothing, but subtly smiles, leading us in to Marvel Two-In-One Annual One [10:41 PM] Bocaj: Dammit Uatu [10:41 PM] Bocaj: And also the Watchers [10:41 PM] Bocaj: Just your presence is interfering [11:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay so, on to part 2 of this story: [11:01 PM] maxwellelvis: MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE ANNUAL #1 [11:03 PM] maxwellelvis: I'll just get the highlights out of the way. [11:04 PM] maxwellelvis: Whizzer. U-Man. Giant flying swastika. There's a guy called The Thin Man. Whizzer. The original Patriot. Ben throws himself off a flag pole. Roy Thomas shamelessly inserts himself into the story. Whizzer. [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: Also there's a superhero called Blue Diamond. For some reason I thought that's funny in 2019.

[dark-naruto]

Hi!! ❤️❤️ I was wondering what your top Naruto fics are?? Doesn’t have to be sns (though that’s the best), I just really crave some fanfic 😭 thank you!!

i’m SO SORRY this took me so long to complete; i know i said it might take a while but i still never meant for it to take THIS long;;; i’ve been really busy lately and when i actually get some free time i just don’t have any mental energy left😫 ANYWAY, this is by no means an exhaustive list of my faves, but my memory’s p terrible, so this is the best i could do😭 I’M SURE there are many excellent fics that i just couldn’t recall on the spot, but I TRIED😣 listed in no particular order:

40m² by winterdesu: rating: mature; words: 11,544; post-war cohabitation; nar & sask emotionally support each other, cook together, and grow a balcony-full of houseplants. a smidgen of angst.

Scores, Settled by hanakage: rated: M; words: 8,908; bartender naruto, ad-exec sasuke. sasuke goes to the bar naruto works at during the world cup to research an ad campaign he’s working on. naruto shares his love of football w him and stuff… idk it’s rly cute i’m bad at summaries just read it lol

Advantage: Us by sirona: rating: Teen And Up Audiences, words: 30,947; tennis au; the boys meet when they’re kids at a tennis camp and then go on to compete against each other at Wimbledon when they’re older! idk if u can tell but i looove sports aus, even though i know NOTHING about any sport lol. there’s a short vignette that follows this fic, Home is where you are, rated Mature.

bleary by upottery: rating: Explicit; words: 2,813; this one’s basically a pwp, but w a looot of emotions and intimacy and j u s t 😌 it’s v soft n good and i love it. ninjaverse!

Spacey ramen and the idiotic two by taeggukswitch (rooxynroll): rating: Teen And Up Audiences; words: 10,950; idiots in spaaaaace! nar is a pilot and sasuke’s a programmer, they meet when they’re paired up for an exploration trip. as one of the author’s tags says, ‘they’re intelligent af but also share one brain cell’ and this is extremely correct. it’s just a v cute and enjoyable read! 

prairie town by applecrumbledore: rating: Teen And Up Audiences; words: 8,698; sasuke’s a research scientist who moves to a small town; his car breaks down and he meets hunky local mechanic naruto. i’m sooo bad at summaries lmao, but this is super soft and sweet and i read it whenever i’m feeling down as i consider it to be a p reliable cure for depression! 

Realization (In a Drunken Haze) by playitagain: rating: Mature; words: 25,509; major warnings for alcoholism/alcohol abuse, so if that’s something that really bothers you, you should maybe avoid this one! personally, i think this is the most realistic depiction of alcoholism & recovery i’ve ever read in a fanfic- so often, even when it’s pretty clear that one of the characters has a drinking problem, it’s never really addressed, or even if it is, there isn’t a realistic portrayal of the recovery process. like, the character will just fall in love and then miraculously get over their problem and then it’s happily ever after. and while having a caring, supportive partner can be an essential part of recovery, love isn’t a magical cure, yk? ANYWAY, nar’s an english professor working toward his phd, sasuke is a student (not in any of nar’s classes) working on his master’s degree. iirc, sasuke’s age was ever specified, but i don’t THINK it’s implied that there’s any more than a few (maybe 2 or 3?) years difference between them, so no ugly a/ge g//ap business going on here. nar’s in steadfast denial throughout most of the fic that he’s an alcoholic, but with sasuke’s support, he finally starts on the (sometimes bumpy) road to recovery.

What about you? by cambion: rating: Teen And Up Audiences; words: 14,974; nar’s two best friends both come out to him, forcing him to get introspective about the exact nature of his feelings for sasuke. this one’s ninjaverse, with sasuke AND team taka back in konoha, and idk it’s just v gooood…

here comes the sun (and his kid, and a whole lot of love) by moonwatcher: rating: Explicit; words: 34,808; modern, single parent au. this one does have past ss and nh, but they’re really almost never mentioned so even if that’s typically a disqualifier for you, you still might enjoy this one. sas n nar meet at a pta meeting at their kids’ school, where nar is also a teacher. there are a looot of cute sasuke & sarada moments in this, some cute nar & boruto moments as well (no himawari in this fic tho; both guys each have only one kid), and some gooood mutual pining. it’s just really sweet and cute and i liked it a lot!!

Tough Love by Rasengan22: rated T; words: 5,729; this one’s p angsty compared to most of the other recs on this list; sasuke’s suffering from PTSD and depression following a car accident, and he’s isolating himself and having difficulty leaving his house as a result. he’s successfully managed to push most of his friends away, however naruto proves to be incredibly persistent and won’t give up trying to help him. as someone who is struggling with a lot of the same issues that sasuke is, this one hit home really hard for me. i just WISH i had a naruto who refused to give up on me;;;;

Change by stammi_vicinora: rating: mature; words: 18,378; naruto convinces sasuke to take an unprecedented day off from work, and sasuke uses his free day learning to relax and unwind a bit w his bf. this one’s just really fluffy and sweet!!!

All things of dearest value hang on slender strings by sirona: rating: Mature; words: 15,713; hokage naruto and anbu captain sasuke. during a particularly hot summer in konoha, naruto plans a beach festival for all the villagers. this one’s really fun and cute, and it may already be on virtually every fic rec list ever made, but it’s one of my faves so i still have to include it!!

Love Is Blind by OfFansAndFlames: rating: Teen And Up Audiences; words: 992; after an accident causes him to lose his vision, sasuke plays it pretty safe for the first couple of years, until naruto convinces him to put his trust in him and take a risk: by going for a ride with him on the back of his motorcycle. this one’s short & sweet, and i just loooove the element of taking a leap of faith with someone you feel safe & comfortable with to do something that’s seemed impossible to you for so long. it reminds me that with the right support, you can do things that have seemed beyond your capabilities and find a new appreciation for life! ❤

the hard-knock life of a walmart cashier by geminiuchiha: rating: General Audiences; words: 26,650; nart & sask are college students and co-workers at walmart in this one, and it’s just!! rly funny and cute!!! i know i’ve described p much every fic so far as cute sdjslfjdssd but that’s my favorite kind of fic, so !!! mutual pining ftw!!

Mirai Kissaten by fourangers: rating: General Audiences; words: 3,586; despite the fact that he doesn’t really like coffee, sasuke ended up becoming a regular at a coffee shop near his work. it might have something to do with the cute owner that always serves him when he stops by every evening on his way home. this is a really cute coffee shop au, super fluffy and sweet!

and, last but not least! 3 of my faves by kinomiakai:

A Night of Poor Choices by KinomiAkai: rating: Explicit; words: 13,134; sasuke is convinced by his friends to go out to a bar with them to celebrate hitting an important financial milestone in a video game they’re developing. since the bar scene really wasn’t for him, he found himself wandering outside the club, where he meets a very cute dog leashed to a parking meter. a few minutes later, he meets the dog’s very cute owner… this one is just extremely cute!!! kurama’s an adorable stinker who’s far too smart for his own good n___n

Rebuilding by KinomiAkai: rating: Explicit; words: 25,705; this one is ninjaverse, post-war, and i mean, it’s p much essential reading imo!! reading it was extremely healing for me, so if u (somehow) haven’t read it yet, i really can’t recommend it enough!! so so sooo good!!!!!

Enter Naruto by KinomiAkai: rating: Explicit; words: 112,230; sasuke and naruto are both college students in this, with sas studying creative writing and nar studying psychology. sasuke takes his professor’s advice and goes to a cafe looking for inspiration, where he ends up meeting naruto! this is another all-time fave!! i save re-reads for when i’m really depressed, bc it always makes me feel better;; it’s just… r e a l l y sweet and good 😌💗

[saint-patrice]

“Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD” 

here are some more of my favourite marchy pics, complete with my bizarre personal commentary, for anon! the 34 bergy pics can be found here also!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m up for taking people’s requests if there’s a particular player they’d like to see! inbox is always open (and anon is on) so just drop me your request and i’ll get working on it :)

okay so this is some absolutely premium cute marchy!! the smile that manages to be completely self-confident yet in no way cocky? the polite little wave as he surveys his audience who, if i recall correctly, were booing him heavily?? oh i do love you mr rat. marchy is fantastic and i have so much respect for the way he deals with his reputation across the league and the excessive amount of shit he gets.he knows what people think of him yet doesn’t seem to let it get to him. i have so much love for him.

KATRINA IS LEGENDARY. before moving on to the part of the image that gave me whiplash when i first saw it, we’re back to talking about brad’s smile. i think i said it in my last post but he really is one of those people who smiles with their whole face - even if you just saw his eyes in this photo you can immediately tell that he’s got that little grin on his face and that’s adorable tbh. now onto the d*lf mug (censored bc i fear the dodgy underground porn blogs these days)… i don’t even know where to start. i feel like he very proudly bought it for himself. and it’s like the only mug he ever wants to drink out of. just my take. i also think the longer hair really suits marchy ngl

ahhh the boys and their dirtbag christmas suits 💛 highlights of this image are the suit jacket that is definitely just one size too small for this absolute man rocket, and the pants with “FRAGILE” plastered all over them - very relatable if not at all festive.

gay rights are stored in the rat!!! i’m glad marchy has been pretty open about his support of LGBT stuff, particularly within hockey. also i feel like some of the stuff he’s said in interviews or social media (esp re: lickgate) manages, even if not intentionally, to be quite diminutive towards implicit homophobia or ‘toxic masculinity’ within hockey. okay maybe that that was poorly expressed but basically he just doesn’t give a shit and appears very open and accepting and i think that’s super nice. this picture also makes for a good reaction image when someone says something dumb

short kings love.jpeg !! a wonderful example of the love that brad shows his teammates on a regular basis, despite his constant chirping. i have no real opinions on torey krug (no h8, i just don’t think i’ve seen that much of him off ice so idk) but him and marchy are quite the duo tbh, i live for their back and forths on twitter - more on that later - and they seem to love each other an awful lot, it’s v cute :^)

that’s my pest™. honestly i think lickgate is one of the best scandals in recent hockey history. when looking for a good image of this is saw an article where some dipshit reporter was outraged about it and was like “how would you feel if someone just came up and liked you?” i mean what if someone just came up and started punching you or hip-checked you into the wall????? hockey is a nasty game a lot of the time, and instead of giving people concussions or broken bones (not that he hasn’t in the past ik…) marchy managed to make opposing teams just as angry, if not moreso, just by licking players. i think it’s fucking hilarious. and most of them took it well in hindsight anyway - i think it was komarov who said he kinda liked it lmaoooooo. peak bradley kevin antics if you  ask me

every pic from the china trip has such a special place in my heart. this is just an all-round adorable photo and brad is looking gorgeous in the sunlight and his backwards cap

brad waving the towel in surrender is just about the funniest thing i’ve ever seen someone do in the penalty box… i can’t believe they gave him a 10 minute misconduct for it, something i think they’d wouldn’t have done if it had have been someone else. at least someone in this league has a goddamn sense of humour. the penalty minutes stat in the corner just makes this even better

brad, once again, showing us how we should deal with people talking shit about us - just get on board with it. i love how much he’s just embraced his massive nose and his height and his general reputation. idk if it’s really deliberate but i think it’s such a good message to send, and it makes for some pretty funny stuff too.

brad single-handedly keeps nhl refs in a job. in my bruins drinking game™ you have to take a shot every time the ref has to physically restrain marchy (2 if it’s because he was going to get revenge or fend for bergy) and you could get fucked off that alone during some games. it was nice to see him not actually get suspended this year, but i will always love that he’s such a physical player and quite the pest on the ice :))

me: *slaps helmet of brad marchand* this bad boy can fit so much personality.

really though, can you believe he’s managed to squeeze more charisma into only 5 feet and 9 inches than 85% of the league combined… very cute picture, and always lovely to see him by bergy’s side on the ice where he belongs

oh my goddddddd how fucking cute is this though!!!! the hat! the dad energy those jeans and the boots give off!!! his face!! his little daughter!!!!! i can’t take it, my heart is going to burst.

(gif via @kureally) this is also just so cute, i need a minute. brad has some very powerful eyebrows and this gif displays them wonderfully. this section of behind the b was also pretty sweet all round, and i agree with pasta that the hair is looking pretty first class

(gif via @murlin09) i am not like into marchy (no tea no shade if u are though), but this gif… whew. i’ll let you come to your own conclusions on this one, gang

i was not lying when i said more on the brad-torey social media antics earlier. there are some truly iconic chirps (the zamboni one is lethal), but this self-roast just kills me every time. i never once thought i’d read a tweet from the official brad marchand twitter account that opened with “hey shorty” but here we are. “my nose wouldn’t fit” i astral projected the first time i read that. and if you’re wondering what torey said to prompt this, it was simply “hey marchy”. it doesn’t take much for brad to light on you, huh? we better watch our backs

definitely a favourite marcheron pic right here - the pucks and paddles (i still think that’s a questionable name but maybe that’s a me issue) content is always top notch. if you can find the video, it’s even better, but this picture captures the general energy of the video perfectly. the only thing missing is that brad’s feet aren’t actually on the floor because the height difference is so pronounced that bergy has to lift him. beautiful

return of the cute brad smile!! a cute yet mischievous little grin, i can only assume he’s restraining himself from laughing at m*tthews fivehead (although who is he to talk with that schnozz. at least he rocks it tbf 👃🏻). not sure blue is really his colour but he’s going for it anyway. that’s my all star!

it’s been days since this photo first surfaced and i haven’t stopped palpitating. the cutest photo ever, they all look so happy and i love that!!! also how are their wives so beautiful….!? oh my every pixel of this image is just stunning

i know i included this in my last bergy list but if they can name new york twice i think i can put this on 2 lists, because lord knows it’s even more iconic. i feel like this is a good metaphor for brad marchand: getting up to no good, although still relatively harmless, all the while supported by the considerably more sensible, yet still entertaining, patrice bergeron. additionally, another excellent display of the oft-overlooked fact that this man is built like a motherfucking tank. holy shit

i wish i could see these boys in suits without my brain immediately trying to think of some sort of au. anyway, i really like this look on brad (unpopular opinion - i love his loud checkered suits as a concept but i don’t think they look good). although he has dark hair, strong eyebrows, and dark facial hai, the all black actually looks really good on him. coffee in hand really adding to the look too - well done, brad “fashionista” marchand.

ahhhhh i love nothing more than family man marchy 💛 his daughter is adorable - those tiny jerseys kill me - and i love that his son is wearing the all-star jersey omg how cute (he is definitely going to end up taller than brad lmao)

sometimes i forget that brad is short and then i see photos like this (brandon is 6′5 for reference)…amazing. i relate to the lady on the left on a spiritual level. brad’s face is a mood and a half. his feet are half a foot of the ice at least. i adore this photo.

(gif via @brandoncarlo) absolutely one of my fav things about watching bruins games is how brad and patrice will always find each other during a celly - nothing beats the 100 hug. this is also just a very satisfying skating gif that i love.

last but very very very far from least is this. there is literally no need for me to make any comment on this so i’m just going to leave it and go. bradley kevin marchand you are iconic and ily

ayyy this was super fun to do, thank you for requesting it anon, i hope you like!! again, i’m absolutely up for taking requests for more of these lists so hmu if you have ideas :) 

[aqvarius]

[HAPPY ENDING WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW] HLITF: Toru Kurosawa MS1: Meeting Him + MS2: Falling in Love

Oh, Kurosawa. Sweet Kurosawa. How I loved you. Honestly I was kind of fine with just his My Sweet Bodyguard route back in 2014. See this review for more and also for noob Tea writing back when 18 old me thought that constituted critical analysis (now I am self-aware enough to just call this a standard review/thoughts haha, what analysis…). So anyway I was kind of fine not playing Kurosawa’s routes until I started writing batch headcanons and then got a couple of asks about Toru and felt like I needed to get a better understanding of his actual character.

Expectations:

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I’d heard from a few people that his MS1 was not that good and/or straight up infuriating so naturally I was intrigued. I was writing a review at the time (Takado from Romance MD) and looked back my old reviews to see how I did the structuring and I stumbled across that Kurosawa MSB review (and my scathing Goto MSB review lol) and I liked him well enough! I just had some issues with the pacing of the story and general lack of MC involvement. So I kinda thought it’ll probably be a similar sort of route where Toru has to sort out his issues and I guess his MC will help him get through them.

I already knew from MSB that Kurosawa has a dark side so I already didn’t go into it expecting the genki type (e.g. Sora from MSB/Hiro from Love Letter from Thief X/Nagito from Scandal in the Spotlight). Well even though I thought I knew what I was getting into, this sweet and naïve girl was not expecting that rollercoaster ride of a route.

Click below to read my thoughts (spoiler warning!!) and scroll all the way to the bottom for the happy ending walkthrough

Reactions:

I wrote at the end of my notes that I’m surprised actually how similar his route is to his MSB route. I definitely want to address this in more detail but I’ll start with Toru’s character.

So Toru starts off very genki and chipper and like how he usually comes across as when you see him in anyone else’s route. He’s friendly and supportive and encouraging and he helps you out. Actually parts of his MS1 are quite similar to Soma – the way they treat and use informants in particular. I made a joke that Kurosawa is like Soma but darker and then he more or less confirmed it in MS2 so… I’m just bragging about how well I know my Boys lmao ignore me. The main difference here is that his MC isn’t the most competent, unlike Soma’s MC who is “the best suited for Public Safety” (sorry I’m like flexing here cause I love Soma’s MC so much) and actually good. That’s when Toru steps in to give you handy advice and a cheery smile since Ishigami is really good at cutting you to the ground. There’s always something jarring about going back to reading MS1 routes for any character because you always forget how noob MC is at the beginning haha. Except Soma’s MC who is a boss and a half. That being said, she does get better when she puts her mind to it.

Anyway, it takes seeing him deal with informants that makes you realise that there might be something a little more insidious about his character (but this is the same tactic as Soma so it’s not quite unique yet). But you only really get a sense of how dark he really is right at the very end of his MS1, like literally only right at the end of his Happy Ending. That also brings me to something I don’t like which is you have a whole chunk of story missing if you only get his Good End. The only thing you get is a warning from Soma that being involved with Kurosawa will make you cry and then you have to figure out from context clues in MS2 that Toru pulled a good old fuck n chuck on you. And that officially makes him the biggest asshole in HLITF. Going back and reading the MS1 special stories is tragic cause MC really believes Kurosawa is her destiny like a total fool when he’s just played her like a freaking triangle – that’s how easy she is to get played. I hope you’ve already played when reading this or weren’t planning on reading it or don’t mind spoilers because it was seriously a shock when it happened. Like I knew something was gonna go wrong because no way would it be that easy but I was not expecting that from a game like HLITF. Even when reading through his MS2, I really thought he wasn’t just playing her for sex and that there was affection there somewhere that he was just trying to tamp down. I think this is where my preconceived ideas of him from MSB were playing up because that’s maybe what would have gone down had it happened with MSB MC.

I wrote in my old MSB review that Kurosawa’s character is made of contradictions and that even at the end of his route, I still don’t quite understand him and that I found him realistically human that I felt like he could exist outside of the gamespace. Interestingly, I feel the exact same way about him in HLITF. Even after finishing his MS2 and epilogue, I don’t quite get him. Granted, I may be feeling this way because with the other Lis that I’ve read, I’ve been able to read enough to get a better sense of their characters the more I play. But I feel like Toru is someone that even after you’re together, he still keeps himself quite hidden; actually, this is far more so the case than in MSB. I joked that he wears a condom over his feelings at all times and it’s TRUE. That’s what he has on: an emotional condom.

However, this feeling of not quite getting him may be due to the dynamics between Toru and his MC and the confusing nature of their relationship and its development. The thing feels weird about Kurosawa’s MS1 and 2 is that it’s different from the other routes (except Namba’s maybe? I haven’t played him yet) in that you’re not his aide. Toru is your ‘same age friend’ rather than an instructor (although he’s 25 and Shinonome is 26 so it’s kind of interesting that there’s such a HUGE gap between you and Shinonome even though there’s only one (or maybe two) years between you). So first off it’s absolutely tragic how little Ishigami cares about you in this route lol. But I think one of the things I enjoy the most about HLITF is that instructor-aide dynamic (sorry Ayumu but dw I still love you even though we’re peers now) and that’s definitely missing in this route. You do get some guidance and stuff but it sort of comes across more as friendly advice from a neighbour rather than instruction from your mentor. I think Kurosawa had more of an instructor vibe in Soma’s Adversaries route than in his own routes.

I guess it’s that MC idolises Kurosawa as a senpai who she thinks is better in every way and she’s always fawning over how sweet and helpful and funny he is, which is why she becomes so disillusioned when he has no problems completely fucking her over. It’s quite entertaining how much this MC hates Kurosawa after he plays her. Like, she’s SO pissed. Even Ayumu’s MC never hated him even when he messed her about and somehow she kept loving him with the persistence of a parasite. No, our dear friend MC despises him.

Her anger is actually quite comical. I think personally I relate more to the type of MC that Kaga/Soma/Ishigami have, so playing Kurosawa’s routes definitely felt like more of a ‘third person perspective’ thing for me. If you have a shorter fuse than I do and like to act on your emotions then you’ll likely feel satisfied reading this route. That this MC’s personality is so different from MSB MC is probably what makes their dynamic so different. Kurosawa would never treat MSB MC like he did HLITF MC. Speaking of their dynamic though, I’m a little confused by the idolisation vs rival thing. At one point towards the end of MS2, Ishigami basically tells you to stop putting Kurosawa on a pedestal and treat him as a rival because you’re the same age – but has MC really been idolising him in MS2? Hasn’t she kind of been hating him?  

Kurosawa’s MC is also fairly different from the other HLITF MCs that I’ve played. They all generally have good instincts and a strong conviction and sense of justice and so much empathy for their men and their issues. However, there are some notable differences: for example, Shinonome’s MC is optimistic, almost to a fault. Even when she feels like she’s been betrayed, she still loves Shinonome unconditionally. Shinonome’s MC is very genki and a bit more shameless haha. MCs like Soma’s and Kaga’s (and I imagine Ishigami’s) are a little more hesitant(?) and sweeter, possibly because they’re more easily led around by the demanding Kaga and the manipulative Soma. While still having the base HLITF MC traits, somehow Kurosawa’s MC seems a little more pessimistic and more cynical than the others and overall not as cute/sweet. But also she seems to have higher 女子力 (not sure how I can translate this… like feminine aesthetic ability? Google it or google joshiryoku) since she describes wearing makeup three whole times in the route!! Which is three more times than I’ve ever in my life heard HLITF MC talk about wearing makeup. I bet Ayumu is wishing his MC is more like this lolol. Essentially I think all the other HLITF MCs trust their instructors and their relationship with their whole being (except Ayumu’s but she’s optimistic enough to get through it) whereas Toru’s MC really does not lol.

One of the issues I had with Kurosawa’s MSB route is how abruptly or inexplicably they fall in love. I have the exact same problem with this route. I’m thinking maybe they tried to do the ‘betrayed by a guy you thought was your friend and started developing feelings for and then falling in love even after seeing his true self’ thing but the problem is you don’t see them falling in love! Especially in MS2 which is literally called “Falling in love”. In fact, you just see MC getting more and more angry and annoyed at him. Okay I can sort of excuse that, maybe since I think her anger stems from the fact that he just played her like that even while she liked him so much. If she didn’t like him then she’s probably think “wow he’s an ass and I’m a terrible judge of character” but overall wouldn’t give a fuck. Even then, the MS2 Good Ending chapter seems to indicate that you’re not fully aware of your feelings for him. But when does Kurosawa start falling for you? You literally don’t know. He just plays you and plays you and treats you the same as always and then BAM episode 10 and he’s suddenly confessing his love and saying he’ll keep loving you even if you hate him (but only in the HE). I’m trying to figure out when exactly he falls for you because I don’t know that he’d do the good old ‘lie to a girl to have a one night stand’ manoeuvre if he already liked you; in fact, he even admits that he couldn’t stand you at first. Maybe he starts liking you when you start treating him coldly haha. But it also seems like he likes your soft-heartedness? I guess we won’t know for sure until his PoV is released. Voltage is getting good with making money lol.

I think I actually kind of enjoyed the MS2 GE more than the HE because I think getting Ishigami’s acknowledgement and approval (and his schedule!!!! Finally!!!!) somehow meant more to me than getting Kurosawa’s love. But this is also because Ishigami is at least respectful to you in other people’s routes usually but he’s so scornful in Kurosawa’s routes it makes me so sad haha please love me Hideki-san.

But yeah anyway I got serious déjà vu over two things: the first being the sudden random confession. The second is Kurosawa just going AWOL. I basically SCREAMED when he went AWOL cause that was an issue I had in his MSB route (you spend like 2 whole chapters just looking for him and texting him and calling him to no avail l m a o). And then the exact fucking same thing happened in his MS2!!!!! Granted, it didn’t take 2 chapters to resolve but o m g, it’s like the writer consulted with his MSB route before writing this lol. At least HLITF MC actually gets to contribute to Toru’s development this time. Similar to how Goto’s MSB and HLITF routes have some minor differences in the details of his back story, Kurosawa also has some small changes in his history with regards to what happened between his father and his uncle which is kinda nice because the story will still feel fresh and new even if you’ve played his MSB route.

ETA: another thing I forgot to mention is that Kurosawa’s low self esteem really comes through in a very similar way as in MSB. See here a quote from MSB:

and then in HLITF:

(Toru is actually Very Precious when he takes off that emotional condom) 

One thing that every single HLITF route gets right is the plot. I don’t know what else to say, the plots are always just really good. Detailed, intriguing, suspenseful, the perfect amount of action. The reason I love this whole title so much is because you have the romantic aspect but you also really feel involved in uncovering these grand schemes through investigation and it always thrills me towards the last third of the route when the action and drama really pick up. So good. The one thing that always clues you in on the possible perpetrators though is that they have sprites. Every time there’s a sprite you just KNOW they’re somehow involved in the plot lol.  The quality of the writing too has improved so much compared to other titles that were written and/or translated a few years ago. There’s a lot of contemporary slang and references that makes me feel like it’s definitely a native English speaker who’s doing the translation, and someone who’s really clued into contemporary English-speaking media and online culture.

The epilogue was kind of cute but I didn’t feel super immersed because I was upset at my boy Shinonome for going to goukon when he has me waiting around to hang out with him. Kurosawa’s MC is definitely a lot more forward than other HLITF MC (bar Shinonome’s, but Shinonome’s MC is cuter about it) which is great and she seems to be a good and mature communicator. You get a really sexy CG (which by the way can we just thank the HLITF artist because she never fails to deliver incredible art) and Kurosawa is surprisingly human in bed. You can definitely sense that their relationship is more balanced than that of instructor-aide overall; MC is more proactive rather than in some other routes where it’s always your instructors who are doing all the work lol. Maybe this is because you’re peers/same age friends.

In general, I think Toru’s a great character, really interesting, there’s lots of nuance and detail to his characterisation and I think the writers did a good job. I just prefer a different type of guy when I play otome games. I bought the ending set just to write this review for some reason thinking that it was the PoV stories but I made a mistake and it’s just the .5 stories rather than his PoV (I’m thinking it’s the sequel maybe? Where the PoV is in the Special Stories) so you’re welcome. There’s this whole water bottle/flower plot running through the special stories which is actually quite sweet and it makes me a little annoyed because it’s way cuter than the actual MS. You’ll definitely like it if you’re a fan of Kurosawa though. It’s also kinda funny cause it just goes and undoes the whole soulmate-debunking thing because I guess it turns out that you were destined to meet, just way before you two ever even knew of each other’s existence. Both the action plot and the romantic plot of Kurosawa’s Season 1 are really set up for continuing on in Season 2 and getting closer both to him and the truth behind the mysterious hospital death/cult investigation so it would be nice to see how the relationship and the story develop in the years to come. Voltage you’d better not cancel HLITF or I’m gonna beg outside your headquarters every day for 5 years and/or until I get arrested for trespassing.

If you want to get Happy Ending for Toru Kurosawa’s MS1: Meeting Him and MS2: Falling in Love, read on below for the walkthrough.

Toru Kurosawa MS1: Meeting Him Happy Ending Walkthrough

Ep 1

B. “Definitely.” A. “Definitely.”

Ep 2

C. “He’s a funny guy.” A. Nod

Ep 3 (no change)

A. “Toru with an S.” B. Try to figure it out.

Ep 4

A. “No!” B. “No way!”

Ep 5

C. “I’m doing this for myself.” B. “You’re awful.”

Ep 6

C. “Kurosawa.” A. “No, that’s it.”

Ep 7

A. “Namika, the nurse.” C. “I want to be your number one.”

Ep 8

C. Kiss him. B. “I’m not interested.”

Ep 9

B. “I’ll shake things up.” A. “He’s kind.”

Happy Ending

———————————–

Toru Kurosawa MS2: Falling in Love Happy Ending Walkthrough

Ep 1

“Congrats again.” “Basically.”

Ep 2 (I wanted to call him a lying bastard)

“We’re only coworkers.” “Ask yourself that.”

Ep 3

“Didn’t need it.” “My liaison.”

Ep 4 (You can tell him to shut the hell up lol)

“What’s this mean?” “Fine.”

Ep 5 (no change)

“No thanks.” Ignore him.

Ep 6 (“He’s a liar, but hey”)

“A few things.” ‘Everybody likes him"

Ep 7

“Yeah.” “Don’t lie.”

Ep 8

“I respected you.” Avoid his eyes.

Ep 9

“I’m fine with that.” “You think?”

Happy Ending

[hollandsmoose]

nothing to regret (part 3)

A/N: If you had to listen to any song while reading this, it should definitely be “Treacherous” by Taylor Swift. This was actually really fun to write! I’m definitely writing a part 4, which will be the final part, though. So here you go, my boos, here’s 2.k of some fluffy fluff with just a dash of angst!

part 2 in masterlist

—————–

A shadow looms over you and Shawn, and you both know it. It’s an inescapable fact that you don’t have all the time in the world to get to know each other. It’s something you’re reminded of every time he drops you off at your house or at work to go to tour rehearsal.

Because Shawn’s tour is coming up, no matter how much you wish it wasn’t. It’s definitely starting a little too soon for your taste. You’re nearing the end of January, and he has to leave in the beginning of March.

It’s something that weighs you down now while you’re staring at a sleeping Shawn, obviously lost in his dreams, his face twitching slightly. His curls are wild and untamed, and you allow yourself to brush some off his forehead. You don’t want to wake him, but you know you must at one point.

Shawn has to go to tour rehearsal, and you have work. It’s just shy of 6:30 am, and you know your phone will go off any minute now. You wouldn’t normally get up this early, especially when you don’t have to meet until 8:30, but mornings at Shawn’s are very slow-paced.

There’s the whole debacle of him wanting to stay in bed, and then there’s the whole issue of showering together which - almost always, takes a turn for the sexual.

Making breakfast is a slow affair as well, stolen kisses turning into makeout sessions on the countertop. Shawn leaves you in peace to do your makeup, but you’re not used to doing it over a bathroom sink, and it takes up even more of your time than usual.

In the two weeks since your date, it’s already become like a routine. Though you never address it, the impending tour adds a time pressure to the whole dating process, and you’re rushing through it.

You’re torn away from your thoughts as your alarm beeps angrily, and though you’re quick to turn it off, Shawn stirs in an instant. You watch him as he emerges from slumber, a little dazed. When his gaze finds yours, a dopey smile makes its way onto his face.

“Mornin’,” he mumbles, eyes still half-closed. “You watching me sleep?”

“Maybe,” you tease, pressing a kiss to his nose, and he giggles. The weight of your previous thoughts is already forgotten, as he begs you to stay in bed with him, although he already knows it’s a futile effort.

—————–

Work follows routine as well. You sit at your desk, answering calls, scheduling meetings and feeling bored. You’ve already been out to grab lunch for you and Jess, your boss, and now you’re just waiting for the clock to strike 5 pm.

Coffee is your friend today. When you sleep at Shawn’s, you don’t usually get a whole lot of sleep, and that is also the case now. That's why you've filled a giant thermos with coffee, hoping it'll keep you alert.

Jess comes out of her office to talk to you about something, some appointment a client has made, and that's when it happens.

“Excuse me?” a voice says, and when you look up, you find it to be a girl, probably not much older than you, carrying an exquisite bouquet of roses in her arms. “I've got some flowers for Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Uh, that's me,” you say, confused, but you have an epiphany. Shawn. The girl hands you the bouquet. “Thank you.”

You take the chance to look closer at the flowers, light pink roses with a few red ones in-between, and you indeed discover them to be from Shawn. The delivery girl takes her leave, and you're left with your very amused boss.

“Well, well, looks like someone's got an admirer,” Jess teases, sitting down on the edge of your desk, while you sit with the flowers, bewildered. “Who's your new beau? And just how rich is he?” You raise your eyebrows, letting your confusion be known. “Oh, come on! I know that florist, and they are not cheap!”

You blush profusely. “He might be a little rich,”

She tilts her head. “Really? Someone I might know?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,”

Jess gives you a sceptical look before turning her attention to the roses with a laugh. “You better get those into water,”

When she’s gone back into her office, and you’ve put your flowers into a vase, you whip out your phone.

You: Thanks for the roses. You’re too sweet ❤️

You don’t get an instant reply, but you don’t expect to. Shawn is busy, and you know it. It still doesn’t take more than ten minutes before he answers.

Shawn: No, you’re too sweet!! ❤️

You giggle at his reply.

You: Whatever you say lmao

Then there’s another message from him

Shawn: Can I come pick you up from work? You’re off at 5, yeah?

You: Yeah, I am. And yes, you can pick me up, but I’ve gotta go home today

Shawn: That’s okay ❤️

Deciding to let the conversation end there, you return to your work, now a bit more enthused about your day than before.

—————–

It’s about seven minutes to 5 pm, when you have your second unexpected visitor of the day. You don’t even register anyone walking over to your desk until the person clears their throat, and you pry your eyes away from the computer screen. Shawn.

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?” is the first thing out of your mouth, and you see how Shawn’s smile immediately disappears, which makes you realize how accusatory you sounded. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just… surprised.”

“Well, I did want it to be a surprise,” Shawn says, a sheepish smile appearing on his face again. “Like the roses,” His eyes travel to the bouquet in its vase. “I’m glad you like them.”

You grin. “I love them,” You enjoy how his entire face lights up with joy, and a flush makes its way onto his cheeks. He walks a little closer, as you stand up from your desk.

He shrugs as if it’s nothing. “I thought you deserved something nice. For putting up with me, you know?”

You’re about to make a quip when you’re interrupted.

“Y/N, could you-” Jess speaks, emerging from her office, cutting herself off at the sight of Shawn. “Oh, I didn’t realize we had visitors,” Your face is a bright red now, this exact event not being one you’ve hoped for. “So is this the boyfriend?” Your cheeks are burning with embarrassment. You and Shawn haven’t even given your relationship a label yet, so this feels even more awkward - for you, at least.

Shawn doesn’t even seem to notice. “Yes, that would be me,” You're positively sure that Jess, with her 50 years of age, doesn't have a clue who he is, and if she does, she doesn't let on.

“Shawn, this is my boss, Jesminder Ayer,” you introduce with a careful smile. “And, Jess, this is my, uh… my boyfriend, Shawn,” The word is strange to say. Boyfriend. It does have you a little giddy to think about. My boyfriend, Shawn. They shake each other’s hands, exchanging polite greetings. “So what did you want to talk about, Jess?”

She waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. You can go now, by the way,” She bids the two of you farewell and leaves you alone.

—————–

Once you and Shawn are back at your place, you’re greeted by your friends who, of course, have a bone to pick with you.

“The prodigal son returns,” Katie japes from her spot at the dining table where she has her laptop open, and Meg snickers from where she’s lying on the couch. “We thought we’d seen the last of you, Y/N.”

“Oh, shut up. I haven’t been gone for that many days,” you answer, rolling your eyes. In truth, it’s been a good four days since you’ve been home, but you have been trying to squeeze in as much time with Shawn as possible. “But I’m guessing this means you’ve missed me?”

“Nah,” Meg says, giggling to herself. “You just haven’t been doing your chores.” You roll your eyes yet again at your friends who think they’re the funniest people on Earth.

“Look, I’m the one who’s been stealing her from you,” Shawn comments with a grin. “If I pay for takeout, will you forgive her?” Katie and Meg give each other a serious look as if they’re actually thinking this through.

Meg nods with a shrug. “Deal,”

Katie gasps loudly. “Can we get Chinese?”

Shawn only laughs. “You can get whatever you want,”

—————–

After dinner, Charlie comes home as well, and you sit down to watch some Netflix together. Eventually, though, you do pull Shawn upstairs up to your room.

You’re both quick to settle on your bed, not actually doing any of the stuff that had been on your mind when you’d climbed the stairs. Shawn only pulls you in for a cuddle, and you lie like that for a while, your head on his chest, and it’s so silent that you’re sure he must have fallen asleep.

“I’m leaving soon,” he says out of the blue, completely casual, startling you. You had been sure he was going to spend the night, so you can’t help the panicked expression when you look up at him. Seemingly realizing what it sounded like, he tries again. “I mean, not tonight. Just... soon,” You watch as he gulps, his sad, brown eyes betraying his effort to keep it cool. “For tour.”

“I know,” you answer, lowering your gaze so he can’t see how your eyes start to brim with tears. “It’s alright.”

It’s not alright. Your heart hurts at the mere prospect of not having Shawn around, and you curse it for getting attached so fast. You’re falling in love with him; there can be no doubt about that.

You’ve known him for such a short time, but you’re rushing through the dating process, and it makes your heart rush too. Only fools rush in, you say to yourself, and that’s when the first mewl escapes you. You try hard to muffle it, but Shawn notices.

Within an instant, he reaches down to stroke your hair. “Look at me, babe,”

You shake your head. “No,”

“Please?”

A sob is rising in your throat as your tears begin to drip down onto his T-shirt, and you know there’s no point in trying to hide it. You raise your head, but looking at Shawn only makes it worse. The sob is now released, and you hate it. You hate that you’re being this vulnerable around him, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

Shawn wraps his arms around you and brings both of you up so you’re sitting instead, and he holds you tight, letting one of his hands go up and stroke your hair again. He does his best to calm you, and it works. After a few minutes of his comfort, you actually find the strength to talk again.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble against his shoulder, withdrawing to see him. “I just… I just wish you didn’t have to go,” His face drops at your words. “I know you have to, but I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Y/N. More than you know,” Shawn says, brushing his fingers over your wet cheeks. “I’ll be home again after the European leg. So it’s only, like, one and a half month to begin with,” You chuckle. Only. “I’m just hoping you’ll wait for me.”

Your heart soars, a grin appearing on your mouth. “You’re asking me to wait for you?”

He takes a moment to consider and then nods. “You don’t have to, of course, it’s your choice. I was just kinda hoping-”

Shawn doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before you pounce on him. You push your lips against his, and the force of your kiss makes him fall down, his back landing on the mattress, taking you with him. He giggles into your mouth before he reciprocates with as much eagerness as you.

It feels a little too good to be true, but somehow it is true. You had feared Shawn going off on tour, had feared he would forget about you, but here he is, wanting you to wait for him. It’s a commitment, and you know that, but it’s the good kind.

Shawn is still leaving, and it does still suck. Yet, now that you have some kind of assurance in what he feels for you, it sucks a lot less.

You don’t have a lot of time left before he leaves, but you just have to make the most of what you’ve got.

—————–

@sauveteen @flickershawn @peachnpomegranate @yellowitsmendes @me-a-hopeless-romantic @couple100miles @rishlo @bluerroses @nervousroses @shavvnmendcs @rechema (lmk if you want off the taglist)