#I have. thoughts about Eclipse's situation
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Hi, sorry for making my problem your problem, but I'm feeling a little low for a variety of reasons, including the fact that, despite my best blocking skills, I still haven't been able to fully avoid the ppl throwing shade at KB/FK's impact (or lack thereof according to them) in THK (seriously, feels like I'm unwillingly stuck in an endless game of whac-a-mole just with bad takes/poor fandom etiquette!). So I thought I'd try and take my mind off it by sending you an extremely self-indulgent ask! As an FK fan extraordinaire (and one of my fave giffers btw), what are your:
favourite scenes from each of their shows?
favourite FK moments from real life?
hopes and dreams for THK finale?
hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.
And now for the harder questions! Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to convert an unbeliever into an FK stan (of them as both separate actors and as a pairing). You can only pick ONE scene from their entire repertoire for each category. Go!
best acting from First
best acting from Khao
best acting from FK as a pairing
best demonstration of FK's chemistry
best kiss (aesthetics+characterisation+emotion+context+whatever other criteria you choose!)
I eagerly await your answers! (but obvs you're under no obligation to respond - tbh, even just forming the ask has helped lighten my mood! Feel free to ignore or to throw it over to someone else if you'd rather, or even if there's anyone else you think would be interested in contributing - I just enjoy hearing other ppl's 'FK as Acteurs' highlights! Someone gushing about my faves = instant serotonin boost!)
In return (and as tribute to your new handle), I offer you this, imo, grossly overlooked example of Khao pulling his signature Khaoala move: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GhSzVQvX0AAm7mh?format=jpg&name=900x900 ...😉
i'm sorry about that, anon. curating your online bubble can be a lot of work and it's not always 100% and i'm sorry you're getting stressed bc of that. i'm not sure if you're going to the tags on either twitter or tumblr, but i'd recommend you stay away of those. twitter is a bit more difficult, but once you get your little bubble things get better but for tumblr, if you're just looking for pretty edits like the ones fandom provides, i'd recommend checking only the thkedit tag. it's a lot better than dealing with the trolls with poor fandom etiquette. i hope you find a space you feel more comfortable and welcomed, anon, i know i say this often, but fandom spaces are supposed to give you relief and not headaches.
you didn't even ask for advice and i'm already rambling, i'm so sorry, but to your questions which were such a delight to receive (you have no idea how happy i felt for being called a fk fan extraordinaire and to know i'm one of your favorite giffers. i love to know people like the things i do, it does wonders to my self-esteem).
ATTENTION!
this is a nearly 2000 word-vomit reply where i talk in length about my favorite topic of the last couple of years, firstkhaotung. i'm sorry for not being able to be concise. pls have the picture the anon sent as their favorite khaoala moment which i must agree, is extremely underrated, as a form of apology.
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1.favourite scenes from each of their shows? (i'll just pick the ones they were paired together bc you know, there's a lot)
the eclipse - akkayan's first kiss in akk's room. that scene is so important to them, and also to me. the way ayan was so careful with akk, he took his time, gave akk room to assess the situation, back away if he wanted to. how softly he spoke to akk and how scared akk was of all of that. that scene was beautiful beautiful beautiful and so well acted, too.
moonlight chicken - listen, i know they only have three scenes, but they are all very important to me, alright? with that being said, the scene in alan's office. alan is smiling like gaipa hung the stars in the sky with his bare hands and it's full sunshine mode, and first's smile is so beautiful, and he's flirty, gaipa is oblivious, it's just so sweet. they are healing and that's amazing.
only friends - the fight in sand's apartment. though the therapy scene is just as amazing, i feel like the apartment fight has so much impact. the way sand was collected the whole time and only allowed himself to break down once ray was out of earshot. and how ray was so distraught by the idea of the one person he thought he could trust betraying him, it was awful. it makes me teary to this day.
the heart killers - the scene at the beach in ep. 8. thank you first for adding a whole monologue to this scene. i can totally understand why that's his favorite. the tiredness, the desolation, they are both so exhausted and bison doesn't want to fight anymore and he's angry, but he loves kant, and kant doesn't want to lie to bison and wants him to know that. it's beautifully acted. i stayed on that scene for days. it made my heart hurt so good.
2. favourite FK moments from real life?
i have too many that i suddenly forgot as soon as i read this question, so at some point i might even add to this when i remember. but the one i can think about right now was when they were on arm's share for first's birthday and khaotung's wish for first in the upcoming year was: "as you grow, you might find more people, but if you do, let them go, stay only with me instead."
3. hopes and dreams for THK finale?
i do hope for a wedding. i didn't want a double wedding bc i find them so tacky, but with the recent talks with fadelstyle + style's dad, that might be where they are going IF they are even going to have one. as you might have noticed, i'm not stressed about the finale. i think they'll have time enough to access the most urgent matters (gay sex in prison) and with fadelbison spending their time locked up, they'll have all the room to live normal lives like they wished. bison talked about assassins not being able to have a home, family and a lover so i hope they get all of that and more.
4. hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.
oh man, i'd love for them to work with the women in gmm, first of all. and i know i had a talk about gl people hating men (with reason in some cases) but gmm loves to experiment with them, so pls let them act with namtanfilm (these four in a show would make my brain stupid happy). sarah pitched an idea that was very similar to the one i had in my head, though hers have first and film as siblings, but the premise would be the same. one trying to help the other approach their crushes. it's silly, slice of life, light comedy stuff which i know they can pull off just as well as the heavy drama stuff.
i'd also love to see them in a show a la sammon with the thriller and investigation vibes. but i'm no fanfic writer and i'm happy with most plots i'm given and if it's them, i know it'll be well-acted.
as for directors, p'aof is the pick for most bl stans, and i agree, i hope they get the chance to work with him again, and have fk as the mains this time. i'd love to see them work with p'nuchy as well, from not me, or the director of be my favorite and who's going to direct joongdunk's and skynani's shows this year. he's amazing, i loved what he did with be my favorite, and while i'm not sure if i'll tune in for either of these new shows, i know he'll do great.
(i love that you deemed this first questions as easy and these one as harder, because let me tell you, i had a hard time with both sets!
1.best acting from First
i can only talk about what i've seen, and despite hearing all the praises for his portrayal of a girl stuck in boy's body in the shipper, i didn't have the guts to watch it yet. i was debating between the "break-up" scene in front of yolo and this one, but i need to praise first as akk. while gmm was going their reprise of the eclipse last year, i took that chance to rewatch the show as well, and i can't believe first didn't get a nomination for his portrayal of akk. he's spectacular in his scenes as this hard-working, perfectionist, in-the-closet, slightly homicidal and self-destructive student prefect. the one scene that makes me stop for like five minutes every time is the one where thua exposes him as the curse and he cries in the stairs. and i know there are people who aren't fan of scenes that are heavy on the dramatics, but that scene alone is so sad and first manages to express that masterfully bc it's terrifying yes, but it also feels cathartic in a way bc there's no weight of that lie on him anymore, so he cries ans sobs and leans on aye for support. idk, it just stuck with me for such a long time.
2. best acting from Khao
ray was khao's best performance in my opinion, and while i agree with everyone who mentions his therapist scene (which was a masterpiece honestly, no one and i mean no one would be able to deliver that one other than him the way he did), i'll go with mew's birthday party. i remember watching the bts of that scene and force was speechless and said that was his favorite scene they had shot until then, and man, there's a reason for that. he ate that up! the pure anger and control of the scene he had. the room was full of people but everyone's eyes were on him, and ray was terrifying in that one. that's what i mean when i say khaotung might be shorter than most of his co-stars but he knows when to use his presence to appear actually menacing. ray on mew's birthday party was scary.
3. best acting from FK as a pairing
you said i have to convince a non believer to stan fk, so i'll use the scene where they reconcile in only friends, ep. 10, if i'm not mistaken bc when you have a scene that was a page or two long, and direction shortened shortened shortened it until it was only an "i'm sorry" and they acted so well that it was convincing enough to make you, the audience, fully believe in the sincerity of the apology and the love and regret that laced their hug, that's a skill. they acted their asses off in that scene and the only line of dialogue was an apology.
4. best demonstration of FK's chemistry
okay so for this one, i'll say every time they showed casual intimacy. i feel like it's so easy for them to ignore casual intimacy in shows, but especially as kantbison, fk showed so much of their chemistry in the little touches. they are a very physical couple and they are comfortable being in each other's embrace and it's beautiful to see that being portrayed. holding hands, worshiping each other's bodies, sniffing their hair, kissing their knuckles, just feeling each other close, that's when you felt they are actually each other's person, they are actually so into each other that even crawling under each other's skin wouldn't be enough.
5. best kiss (aesthetics + characterisation + emotion + context + whatever other criteria you choose!)
most beautiful kiss i always think about the smoke kiss in only friends just because the aesthetic of it was amazing. the build up to it was amazing, and hot and heavy with tension and it was so delicious. i scream every time they kiss for the first time in shows, but the smoke kiss left me with my jaw in the ground for several minutes.
alternatively, in thk, the beach kiss for how meaningful it was since it was their first kiss with no lies between them, and the swing kiss that was perfect, they were so into that kiss and it felt so earned, too. fk really knows how to kiss.
also, akkayan's bridge kiss in our skyy 2, never forget that kiss. they were into it and delivering like no one else. absolutely gorgeous.
and let's remember all the pecks, too, because i have a soft spot for all of them. kantbison, yet again, carrying it in the pecks department (did you guys notice that kantbison kissed every ep? it was amazing to see).
and i think this is it? i finally managed to answer everything. ngl, i answered your ask first before a couple others that are sitting on my inbox bc i feel you needed the pick me up and i love talking about firstkhao. this was very fun. thank you for sending me this, and i hope you feel better.
#bibs ask#Anonymous#bibi shut up challenge#failed#but this was incredibly fun ngl i enjoy talking about them way too much#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat
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I feel so bad for Eclipse rn he's REALLY being screwed over by pretty much everyone but Ballora
Puppet being the main instigator of that actually
#galaxy rambles#i promise this isnt puppet hate i dont hate her#i AM kinda pissed at her though and Eclipse has EVERY right to call her out#I have. thoughts about Eclipse's situation#like he's being SEVERELY mistreated no wonder he's snapping#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#dca fandom#tsbs#teaps#eaps eclipse#eaps#the eclipse and puppet show#eaps puppet#teaps eclipse#teaps puppet#eclipse and puppet show
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.
Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).
Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.
Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.
Both of them came back wrong.
Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.
Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.
In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.
Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.
This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?
What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.
I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-
ANON OH MY GHOD /POS
DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.
LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH
#asks#anon#other's thoughts and rambles#THIS IS LITERALLY#I'M . OH MY /GHOD./ I CAN'T EVEN LIKE STRING TOGETHER A COHERENT SENTENCE TO TRULY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE#UR LIKE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ON THE PARALLELS BETWEEN THEM OMG. I WAS ACTUALLY LITERALLY TALKING ABT SMTH KINDA SIMILAR 2 MY FRIENDS ABOUT HOW#-ECLIPSE IS PROBABLY TAKING LIFE SO BADLY RN BC—JUST LIKE LUNAR—HE ACTUALLY /REMEMBERS/ DEATH#HE HAS EXPERIENCED LUNAR'S 'DIED AND CAME BACK' SITUATION FOR HIMSELF AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THAT#AOOUUGGGGGHHHHH#/AND UR POINT ABOUT HOW SIMILAR THEY ARE NOW BUT HOW MUCH THEYD HATE THAT/ UUGGGHHHAAAAAAAA#i'm gunna DIEEEE anon your mind is huge. holy shit. oh my ghod#if the world was a kinder place then they would have been closer than ever bc of this but instead they have never been farther apart :((((#absolutely insane and git wrenching ramble anon ily forever.....#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#sams lunar#sams eclipse#lunar#eclipse#long post
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I'm not usually someone who gets terribly emotional over pieces of media. Heavily immersed? Yes, I love swishing my fingers through media narratives and characters like a child filtering through mud looking for cool rocks and talking at length about them. Media analysis intrigues me. But I don't usually get emotional.
But let me tell you, that if July 16ths episode is actually just Sun and Moon and Earth taking a real, true break and that's how they ultimately decide to 'celebrate' this date that holds such importance to the show itself? Especially considering what happened in todays episode? What July 16th is about? Considering how it all wraps back around to Sun?
Hoo.
#fafferchat#personal#at this point in time there are a lot of things July 16th could be about#it could be the climax of this entire Eclipse situation#perhaps Eclipse will finally succumb to the power of the star#perhaps he'll finally be defeated#we could have an earth or creator or eclipse centric episode#it could be nothing at all#a gaming episode#we wont know until it happens as with every video#but if it is explicitly a break episode?#like its just them hanging out#or watching a movie or something#i will probably cry#i dunno it was just a thought that popped into my head#this entire thing may mean nothing at all#another possibility for Sunday#lol i just realized it's on a fucking Sunday#how about that
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actually if neither fern or the MC were there I think the people that would be most likely to do the hero’s journey across reborn would be titania, amaria, cal or victoria.
#realistically I don’t think anything would stop fern in this situation but I’m saying if he wasn’t there#I think if laura wasn’t so forgiving she could be a choice too but I’m not super sure about it#in order of believability I think it would be victoria > cal > titania > amaria#realistically to explain#amaria would definitely start it. but I’m not sure if she’d have the mental fortitude to finish it for obvious reasons#titania would have to break through her later of apathy but I can 100% see her with the determination to get things done once she does#cal could do it if he saw no other way since he already rails against meteor a lot but I think he would have to be instigated#and honestly I can see victoria very easily in the protagonist position in any number of ways#especially since she goes through most of the beginning with you#it would cause a lot of conflict in her but again if she saw no other person willing to step up I think she would. even after apophyll#I’m very tired and need to study & this is just an overview thought process#westalk#ACTUALLY eclipse is also a candidate. she could do it I believe#the men r kinda wet pancakes. idk if cain could do it without a buddy#maybe radomus could step up to the plate? but he’s busy being a widower#not including any of the orphanage kids or shelly#I think shelly would have too much of a hard time with the mental strain at first to reach the later half#and the orphanage kids are in orphan jail
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❥ SATORU GOJO X FEM! READER
❥ WORD COUNT: 2.1k
❥ WARNINGS/TAGS: incest (big brother/little sister), hatefucking, degradation, Satoru's hand smothering your mouth, some dub-con tones but really you both want this fucked up situation, semi-public sex (the door isn't closed and it really should be), creampie
Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Read those warnings again.
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→ Kinktober Masterlist ←
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You’ve always eclipsed his light. A stain on his legacy, a re-shifting of the scales when you were born.
Always on his heels, nipping at his skin.
Satoru wonders how many times the two of you have tangled like this—fury and jealousy, adults carrying the bitterness of spoiled children.
“Are you even trying?”
You’re pinned beneath him, both of you wild and uncoordinated, driven more by emotion than immeasurable skills.
“Fighting dirty isn’t fair, ‘Toru,” your tits are heaving as you try to catch your breath, hips squirming and bucking to keep mean fingers from playing with the one toy he was never allowed to have.
“Excuses, excuses,” he tuts, bicep flexing as he catches your wrist in an attempt to scratch his cheek, “you like when I play dirty, little whore.”
One step away from a tense family dinner had him cornering you in some tucked away office with your dress bunched around your hips on the floor.
Satoru thought fucking you would depredate you, make you take on the burden of his sins. Instead it’s only wrecked him further. Now he tastes you in the back of his cheeks whenever he looks in the mirror.
God he hates you. Because you make him sick, make him do sick, nasty things and you barely try to fight back.
“It’s like you want to get fucked by your brother, hm?” he thinks aloud before pressing his mouth against yours. He cups your neck, pulls you closer, pays attention to how you grunt and tug at his shirt. Your nails catch buttons, scratch into skin.
He shouldn’t kiss you here, where any roaming maid or distant cousin could catch a glimpse of what the Gojos do when no one is looking.
But he’s at a point where he wants people to look, wants people to see just how fucked up you both are.
“Toru,” you hiss, “stop, get off—”
“Oh shut the fuck up. We don’t have time for the but ~Satoru~ we shouldn’t song and dance. You always let me have you, so be quiet and take it.”
Still, you fight, like you always do. Your toned muscles push and shove, one leg nearly smashing air from his lungs. He catches your calf in time, insatiably mean fingers digging into your soft flesh and forcing your thighs apart. He can tell you bite back a whine of pain, too prideful to let him know when he hurts you.
“You cannot do this here in the fucking floor of—”
“Really? Would you rather me take you to your old bedroom so you can cuddle your stuffies while big brother fucks you stupid? Hm? Is that what you want?”
“What I want,” you try to pull his hair like a child, “is for you to find someone else to be obsessed with. What about Sugu? Oh, that’s right you—”
Just the sound of that name makes him want to rip you apart, smash you to such small pieces that he’ll never have to think of you again. Satoru clamps his hand over your babbling mouth, squeezing until his knuckles turn white and you actually whimper.
He’s going to fuck you into the floor, into oblivion, until all you can think about is him. It’s only fair.
Satoru keeps the pressure on your mouth, forcing his free hand between your spread thighs so he can shove two long fingers into your cunt. Your panties are soaked around the edges of his knuckles, pussy drooling and squishy as he thrusts and scissors in the way he knows will make your eyes roll.
“You sure are wet for someone who doesn’t want this.”
He knows you do. You don’t have to tell him—you probably never will say the exact words aloud. He won’t either.
You roll your hips back as he fingers you, the dress around your hips falling open like wilting petals against your skin.
The palm of his hand eats your moans, still small and breathy, desperate to feel more than just the squelching spread of his fingers.
He wants to punish you, wants to bruise your pussy with his knuckles and make you scream. But he doesn’t have that kind of patience. His cock is smothered in his pants, straining and thumping against the floor. Pre is already leaking into threads; he feels another drop bead against his cockhead as your cunt squeezes when he curls his fingers into a spongy spot that makes you buck.
It’s so wrong and fucked up that he knows that soft spot within you, knows that if he rubs it a few more times it might actually make you cum in his hand.
“God, is your slutty cunt this messy for other guys? Such a fucking pain in the ass—you’re gonna stain the rug.”
Only he loves how easy access your slick makes you. Just a few movements—glossy hand down his pants, shoving the waistband down over his ass, plugging his tip into your hole—and he can thrust his cock all the way to the back of your pussy.
You manage to bite into the side of his palm, canines pressing into sinew as you weep for him.
Fuck you feel so good, too good, tight and full with the most familiar, decadent squeeze around his thick shaft.
“Pull your tits out,” white lashes flutter as he pushes in, out, “lemme see ‘em.”
Like always, your fight is gone the moment he’s buried in your cunt. Your hands scramble to obey him, nearly ripping the delicate straps of your dress so you can pull it down, breasts falling on display. Satoru keeps his eyes on the bouncing fat, biting his tongue when your nipples harden into the most delicious looking buds.
You muffle a cry at a particular cruel thrust, legs starting to burn and shake from the weight of his hips between them. Your lips are swelling behind his hand, sloppy with drool.
Satoru shifts back, getting on his knees so he can curl your leg against your bare chest and worm his way to the very depths of your pussy. The sound is lewd, all wet and gushing, each push of skin on skin making him prickle.
His keen senses perk—footsteps in the hallway, voices through the wall. Dinner guests shuffling about in the absence of the prodigal siblings.
Your eyes flash toward the cracked door, yet the little ah, ah, ah~ behind his palm won’t quit.
“Yeah? You want someone to find us? Want them to see how your big brother pounds into your guts because he can? Because you’re a little fucking slut who lets me?”
The annoyance that flares to life as your gaze returns to him has his balls tightening. You hate that he gets the best of you. This is the one way he can, by making you weak and wet and willing for his cock.
Satoru presses his hand to your belly, presses in deep and hard until the heel of his hand meets the outline of his dick.
“Feel that? Feel how fucking full you are with my cock?”
He uses strength he couldn’t on anyone else, barreling his hips until you’re moving back on the floor, rug scrunching beneath your bodies as he pounds into you so recklessly.
You whine, actively try to bite his hand, to suck his skin, to hurt him.
“Oh please, you can take it. You’re a Gojo.”
That reminder makes you both groan, your cunt sucking as his cock swells.
He wonders for a split moment what really draws you together. Lust? Failed parenting? Some mutual sense of rebellion? All of it, probably, and some other sick, twisted shit laced in between.
Your little fingers start prying at his over your mouth, clawing and plucking his knuckles.
He shows a little mercy and releases his hold on you, only to clamp both hands down on your hips so he can fix your pace and build a faster rhythm.
You suck in a deep breath, “Kiss me.”
A pale brow quirks at your request, smirk tugging at his cheek.
“Really? And why should I? Thought you didn’t like me.”
“Oh my, ah, god, Toru, I ask for one nice thing. Just,” you reach for him, gripping onto his flexing biceps and pulling him down, “just do it, for me.”
He was always going to oblige you. He hates admitting it, but he’d kiss you all the time, if you’d let him.
Satoru’s lips meet yours with a bruising fervor.
Your hand tugs in his snowy hair, drags him closer. Your mouth moves against his, eyes closed, suddenly greedy and hungry; for what, neither of you really know. All he does know is that you still taste the same, like home, and he wants your breath in his lungs.
He is a snake, wrapping around you, suffocating, crushing until you can’t breathe anything but the poison he spits.
Your mouth slants for him, a hum resounding from both your throats as your stomach starts to get tight, tell-tell pulls and sucks like you’re begging him to keep stroking the flames.
“You’re so spoiled, aren’t you,” he groans into your mouth, lips messy with spit, “you gonna cum just from my cock? Do I fuck you that good?”
“God, sh-shove that fat cock deep and cum inside me—”
Your demand makes his blood run hot.
Satoru throws his head back and laughs, maniacal and oh so satisfied. “You’re spoiled fucking rotten. That’s what mommy and daddy did to you, spoiled you so fucking much you think you deserve everything. Even me.”
Because you started this, didn’t you? When you got old enough to be so fucking tempting in your twenties, started flirting with his friends and batting your pretty eyes at all the higher-ups. When you got strong enough to match him, to take up space in his light.
“Fuck you,” you purr like you’re trying to mean it, like you’re trying to deny him. “Hate you so fucking, ah, god–shit—” he’s got your clit pinched between his fingers now, pressing until he knows it hurts, “make me cum and let me go.”
White hair spreads into the sweat of your skin as he buries his face in your neck. He’s so close to losing it, to being done with this.
“I’ll do one of those things. Let you figure out which one.”
Satoru grinds his cock into your gummy walls, cock strangled in your suction. His pelvis is rolling against your clit, coarse curls making your legs twitch.
The moment he gets his thumb over your clit, it’s like dropping a match into gasoline. You both burn so hot, melting into one another as he explodes and you convulse. No matter how many times he feels you cum, hears you whisper his name and choke on the three little words you never say, he will never get used to it.
So familiar and foreign and fucked up, the kind of drug that scratches at his brain and begs from more.
He empties his balls into you, creaming into a cunt he should never touch let alone fill to the brim.
You’ve never told him he can’t, that he shouldn’t. You both know it’s abhorrent, disgusting, but maybe that’s why you keep letting him do it.
He’ll still watch you take your morning pill, though, just to make sure.
Your bodies lie panting in a forgotten corner of the home you both hate, the scent of sex rolling in the air like smoke.
“Get off me and go.”
Shame is wavering in your voice, it always does. He can understand why you feel it—he does too, he just morphs it into some kind of wicked hatred so he can still sleep at night.
“One last ~kiss~?” He mocks your voice and revels in how you claw your way out from under him, trying to pull yourself back together and catch the cum dribbling down your thigh.
“Fuck you. Fuck this. It won’t happen again.”
And it shouldn’t. But it does. It always happens again.
Because he wants to hurt you, shame you, make you feel weak in his arms when you shatter and cum. Because he hates how much he loves you. So he wants to crush you, wrap around you like a viper and pop you out of existence.
His life would be so much easier if he didn’t have a spoiled brat of a sister.
You make him want to eat his fist when you swipe his cum from between your legs and put your fingers in your mouth, smiling because you know he’ll return to dinner with a tent in his pants.
You live to torture him, he’s sure of it.
#kinktober#gojo smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#tw.incest#tw.degradation#satoru gojo smut#jjk smut#gojo x you#satoru gojo x you#jjk x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo saturo#jujutsu gojo#dripping banner by @/adorenedwithlight
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1 of my da:v opinions is that. ok. “eldest daughter/people pleaser raised in a land strange to her people” is an awesome core character concept. it’s just not at all who i thought harding was based on her inquisition dialogue? in veilguard, harding talks abt how she learned to butter people up and take up less space after being harrassed as a little dwarven girl in ferelden; in da:i, she said the same experiences taught her to be rough-and-tumble and to aim for the balls. even her minstrel song is about the vindictive glee she feels in battle while “cutting men down to size.” it calls her the “inquisition’s bloody prize.” she’s a violent person! violent enough to inspire ballads! by fereldan standards!
it’s not that she couldn’t have learned both behavior patterns, but since we don’t rly see them contrasted in harding’s da:v characterization, it feels more like an overwrite to say she’s gentle now.
she’s also just never been a people pleaser! her role in da:i was straight talker! she was one of the few npcs the inquisitor could trust to give a blunt report on the terrain and political situation in a new map. in “jaws of hakkon,” she had the clearest, frankest, most compassionate but also harshest insight about how their personhood was being eclipsed by their reputation and titles—
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she’s forthright, without illusions, and also one of the most uncompromised & uncompromising believers in the inquisition’s cause. NOT one of the many followers courting the inquisitor’s favor & backing for their own agenda. absolutely not a pushover or a kissass.
and what’s the significance of calling harding an “eldest daughter” with implied negativity when her ma doesn’t appear in the game and their relationship is drawn as wholly positive?
so i think maybe harding & taash could’ve switched roles, with harding being the clear eyes of the party who tends toward the blunt, crass, and fanatical but will never lie or fawn, and taash being the heart, the people-pleasing eldest first gen immigrant daughter who gets in touch with their masculinity, individuality and fire during the story—while still retaining harding’s warm, naturalistic speaking voice & taash’s clipped commentary, and the contrast between their personalities that attracts them to each other.
the addition of younger siblings, whose relationship with shathann is not strained in the same way taash’s is since they are neither adaari nor the children shathann left the qun for, could also add depth & complexity to taash’s questline, more cultural ties for them to untangle (or - my preference - to realize don’t need untangled) and another contrast with only child harding, whose heavy responsibilities are all taken on by choice and not inherited… or so she thinks until her own personal quest.
maybe taash could even have another mom, who isn’t fridged?
just a notion!
#dragon age#veilguard#taash#harding#dav spoilers#<- sorry! shouldve been in there for the taash/harding mention
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Wild take, but when Style says, "It's okay to love," I really don't think it's actually about love at all.
Let's consider the context leading up to this point: Fadel drives Style to an abandoned factory in the woods and leaves him alone to go and brood for a while. At least part of Fadel's goal is to scare Style, to give him a hint that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems.
But Style doesn't back down, doesn't go running, evidences no sense of self-preservation or worry; and at least on some level it's a clear sign that he trusts Fadel. Despite Fadel literally punching him in the stomach; despite Fadel mocking Style's honest and wanton desire; despite Fadel chasing him away, he still trusts Fadel to keep him safe.
Imagine how frustrated Fadel must be feeling. Style was only gone for one morning, but it was enough for Fadel to become painfully aware that he did not actually want Style gone from his life. He knows now that he won't have the strength to keep refusing Style's relentless pursuit, so he needs Style to be the one to walk away from him instead.
And I think this was a final, last-ditch attempt to make Style run away.
Notice that Fadel starts out rather threatening: "I don't like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You're disrupting it." At this point, Fadel could have still turned this violent; attack Style and leave him injured in an abandoned warehouse, and I'm not sure that wasn't still on Fadel's mind at this point. He's incredibly aggressive at first: shoving Style back against the bar, caging Style in between his rigid arms, rattling the metal frame behind Style to show his anger.
But oh, in the heat of the moment, the truth slips out. Fadel is admitting that Style has the power to bring change into his highly regimented and structured life. He's admitting that his desire to keep Style in his life has eclipsed his need for control and structure, in spite of himself.
The truth breaks Fadel open in ways that none of Style's machinations and schemes could. He finally recognises that it is his own feelings that are the true cause of his anger and frustration.
This is the point when Fadel finally gives up on the idea of hurting Style to chase him away. His voice softens (Joong's delivery of "I miss you" makes me weep), his shoulders finally relax, he stops caging Style against the bar and instead it's almost a tentative suggestion of a desire to hold Style.
And I think Style understood this on some instinctive level. Because if you watch Style very carefully, there's a moment of genuine fear when Fadel first shoves him against the bar and then he takes a grim breath like he's fighting off a sense of despair at the at the start of Fadel's rant. Like he could tell this one was going to be a 'make or break' kind of situation.
But when Fadel begins to unravel, when he admits that he was looking for Style when he was gone, there's this almost hopeful, anticipatory look that slowly blooms on Style's face. He's so hungry to see where this goes, and he's gets this intense almost wild look on his face when Fadel pauses to search for his words.
It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.
Dunk does something incredibly subtle here, but it blew me away: Style does not blink once throughout the entirety of Fadel's rant UNTIL he says "I don't like that I miss you". And that's when Style finally blinks as if it’s finally safe to take his eyes off Fadel. As if there's a wave of relief washing over him as the tension (and sense of danger) finally breaks.
He also does this incredible thing where he softens the look he's giving Fadel right before he drops his eyes down to Fadel's lips. (Joong has always been excellent at this, but Dunk didn’t really get that many opportunities to do this in previous roles). Style is treating this moment so carefully, and there's a purposefulness to this kiss that was entirely absent from the ones Style initiated in the locker room in episode 2.
I also think it's really important that Style was the one to kiss Fadel here. Not just because it juxtaposes the kiss in the store room, but also because Style has shown a strong preference for Fadel taking the initiative. He has been consistently creating opportunities for Fadel to lay hands on him, right from episode 1 when he put the Heart Burger pin on his chest and put his arms behind his head in welcome (and surrender).
But for this to be a functional relationship, Style has to take ownership of his own desire for Fadel. He cannot remain physically passive any longer, because this is the start of something bigger than just the thrill of being wanted. Style is looking beyond what he wants, potentially for the first time, to what his partner needs.
And I wonder, is this maybe the first time Fadel has allowed himself to be kissed since his ex left? There's something so fragile in the wide-shot. The way Fadel only has one hand barely touching Style's hip, while he's still got his other hand clenched tightly around the metal bar like he's desperately holding onto a lifeline. I have so many emotions about this.
Which is why I think this line wasn't really about love at all. This was Style responding to the vulnerability he sees in Fadel and offering reassurance in return. Because Fadel is strong and doesn't need protection, but oh yes he does, for it is his heart that is in danger of shattering.
There's an incredible line in episode 13 of Love In The Air, when Sky (in the aftermath of an extremely traumatic event and after finally revealing the full truth that he was sure would drive Prapai away) turns to Prapai and asks, "P'Pai, can I really love you?" Sky is asking if his fragile heart is really going to be safe in Prapai's hands.
And I think this is exactly what Style is getting at here: He's telling Fadel It's okay to love me. That Style is safe to love. That Fadel can take the risk to let Style into his heart because Style isn't going to take it lightly.
And it's this reassurance that finally allows Fadel to let go: both figuratively (as he starts to take control of the kiss and the encounter) and literally (as he transfers his hold from the metal bar to Style's body). Even the contrast in the wider shots between the kiss before Style says "It's okay to love" and after is startling.
This wasn't really a love confession, not in the conventional understanding of it. But for Fadel, who's mother "loves" Bison and himself for their utility and usefulness, perhaps the assurance of safety is more important.
And for Style, who seems so naive and inexperienced and ignorant of the way the world works in ways that suggest he's never truly had to grow up, this is far more significant. Because he's taking responsibility of someone else's heart for the first time in a way that I don't think he's ever allowed himself before. I said before that Style would be forced to grow up and I do believe this is what we are seeing here.
So no, I don't think this was the moment of "falling in love" but I do think this was the start of something real and meaningful and purposeful that could have eventually blossomed into love for the both of them.
#and it would have been beautiful in its own way but Kant really ruined it immediately#although from a narrative standpoint I get why it had to happen#we’re going to see a flip now with Style retreating and Fadel chasing to figure out what’s wrong#and I’m also pretty exited to see that ngl#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#fadel#style sattawat#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai#thk meta#fadelstyle meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#thk ep 4
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Hey, could you write either a headcanon, fanfic, or anything of the sort with the reader dating Jasper and meeting the Major for the first time?
If you need inspiration, here’s an idea: Maybe the reader puts themself in a dangerous situation after Jasper told them not to. Jasper turns into the major and gets really upset at them (not really upset, just scared that they could have gotten hurt). Reader gets scared and backs away from him and Jasper/Major realizes reader is hurt and immediately starts crying to comfort and help the reader?
Fear
Jasper Hale x reader
Summary: The reader puts herself in danger and causes the major to come out due to Jasper's fear but ends up scaring reader and they both comfort each other.
Notes: Hope you enjoy! This is gonna be a shorter fic than some of my others! Also this takes place during Eclipse.
Warnings: The major gets a bit mad but nothing bad happens practically all fluff 😊
Word count: 413
He waltzes towards you. You felt your heartbeat pick up. You were unsure what to think or what to say. What were you supposed to say “Hello Major I’m Jasper’s girlfriend.” Yeah no.
Your POV
Jasper told you about him. About the major. You never thought you’d ever meet face to face. But today you are. The first thing you noticed was how different they were from each other. He stood straighter and held himself more like someone who works in military forces. You also noticed his voice was deeper and more rough than Jasper's smooth and calming voice.
“Hello sweetheart, what do you think your doin’?” He eyed you suspiciously. He looked like he was trying to assess the situation or something similar to that. It made you feel a bit self conscious.
You took a deep breath and tried to sound confident as you said, “I was just trying to understand the situation and that’s why I came.” You explained. You hoped he saw how that was rational and reasoned to you it felt that way but you were unsure if he’d feel the same way.
And you were right. He did not see it that way. “Really?” He said sarcastically.
You inched closer, hoping to reason with him. “Like I said, I just want to understand how your family and the wolves will take down the newborn army. I’m worried that’s all.”
You saw Anger and fear in his dark eyes. But that didn’t ease your fear as he said, “You're trying to get yourself killed!” He yelled. You back away, you feel shivers run up your spine. You knew he was scared but you couldn’t help but feel scared as well. You looked away from him and shrinked away. The major looked horrified as he cradled your face. If he could cry he would be right now.
He kept whispering “I’m sorry I’m so sorry.” You whisper. You wrap your hands around him and hug him tightly.
“Don’t. It’s okay.” He was initially shocked that you hugged him but returned it. He held onto you softly trying not to hurt you.
After a few hours Jasper was back and he apologized profusely. You whispered only sweet nothings and you did everything you could to ease his worries.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, it's okay. You're both okay.” You leaned in and pressed a quick peck on his lips and pulled away and smiled softly at him. He smiled back at you caressing your face and you wrapped him up in a warm and loving hug.
The End
#twilight#twilight saga#the twilight saga#jasper hale#jasper whitlock#jasper hale x reader#jasper hale x human reader#jasper hale x you#jasper whitlock x reader#request#requested#fanfic#fanfiction#twilight eclipse
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My thoughts about the celestial family
After watching the last few episodes of the Sun and Moon and Lunar and Earth shows, I'm wondering how weak their family bond is.
Don't get me wrong, the shows are great! There is so much drama and can't wait to see what happens next 🤩
But I like to discuss the Celestia family.
I'm struggling to see social cues and can read situations wrong, but I kind of feel baffled and disappointed in the family.
From the outside, you see a found family with a strong bond and be there for each other. But the inside...
I try to find the right words here.
The family adopts people who did things wrong intentionally or unintentionally in the past into their family and friend group without being mindful of WHO they are/were. Lunar, Killcode, Molten, Clips, Nexus. And as soon they do something wrong again (which you should expect at some point because of their past and trauma) instead of seeing and work what was the cause of it, they reject them and talk about killing them. (Ruin is an exception)
Killcode, yeah he was evil but as soon he became good, Moon sacrificed himself for him. He was no friend or family. He got his own body and lived his life until he died.
Nexus, in my eyes, wasn't evil but was mentally very sick cause of the toxic relationship with the family. He needed to find his own personality but his family and friends were no help, treated him like a nice Moon. In the therapy sessions, he told them about the issues and I think the solution would have been to distance himself from the others and find his own personality. But by his madness, he chose to use dark star power (like taking substances) to feel in control. I think his family did kinda take his control away from the beginning, not just Ruin or Bloodmoon, the control to choose who he is, to build his own personality. But it got worse after Solar's death. And he was killed.
Now little Lunar, who had so much trauma, hanging out with gods who don't feel emotions like him. They can't help him with his trauma or say the right words which can easily cause misunderstandings.
He was seeking his purpose and got in contact with the wrong people. This is not surprising because the first person he looked up to was Eclipse, his abusive Ex-brother. People (not all of them) who grew up with abusive families tend to end up in relationships or hanging out with bad people because they feel a sort of comfort in them.
He got tricked and accidentally hurt Earth and instead of getting the whole picture, his family and friends were already discussing about killing him or not. What? There were so many red flags that he needed help with his trauma with Eclipse and Earth (not to offend her) was not the right "therapist" for that. It was just waiting to go wrong.
Also, has this something to do with what Dark Sun did? Suddenly every Sun or other is lashing out at the Moons. Lunar is a Moon, and now is imprisoned and his family discusses killing or rejecting him. 🤔
I think this family can easily adopt people into their group but they are not able to keep them for long.
If I understood here something wrong, then I apologize.
#sun and moon show#sams#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#the lunar and earth show#me talking#I hope I found the right words
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what should you love about yourself - pac tarot reading ★
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d650b770f8adec7045f6737e8076d40f/4db6fd25ac02e7b2-5f/s540x810/c274130f234d416927869a8265876e1249ee1f7a.jpg)
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from top -> 1 - 2
from bottom -> 3 - 4
for those struggling with self-love, confidence, doubt and their overall well-being, I thought I'd do a positive reading that appreciates the qualities that make you the amazing person that you are.
please note that this is a general reading and various different energies may pick your pile, so only take what resonates 💗
paid readings
pile 1 - two sunflowers
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d650b770f8adec7045f6737e8076d40f/4db6fd25ac02e7b2-5f/s540x810/c274130f234d416927869a8265876e1249ee1f7a.jpg)
cards pulled: high priestess, queen of wands, page of cups + three of cups
what should you love about yourself ౨ৎ
you should love your strong intuition and connection to your subconscious. you are someone who is strong and self-reliant. like the queen of wands, you are creative and inspiring, passionate and with strong leadership qualities - you are able to bring with you confidence and enthusiasm no matter the situation.
despite this inner strength and outward confidence, you are also able to connect with others on a more emotional and understanding level. you have a great amount of empathy for others, even more so towards those in your inner circle. you are also able to express yourself openly and honestly.
overall: with the three of cups, you place a lot of value on your friendships/relationships. you are a social butterfly who is able to bring harmony and joy to the people around you. you are supportive, kind and fun.
pile 2 - the sun
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e0e00218117076a6f4d6aa787e8635de/4db6fd25ac02e7b2-13/s540x810/d3b3a44a10bfdd2a9480a5c80cfd9d4043696095.jpg)
cards pulled: ten of wands, nine of swords, judgment + eight of cups
what should you love about yourself ౨ৎ
despite these sets of cards often representing struggles, in this case it emphasises not only your resilience and perseverance through challenges, but your empathy and concern for those that mean a lot to you. you may often find yourself worrying a lot for the well-being of your friends and family; it may weigh heavy on your mind at times, but that reflects your level of care and love for people. you have a deep and pure heart that is hard to find.
with judgment, you are self-aware and have grown a lot. it is as though you are constantly changing for the better - you constantly reflect on your mistakes to become the best version of you.
overall: the eight of cups shows your ability to leave behind the things that don't serve you for the betterment of your well-being. you don't let others bring you down, or life to keep you in a standstill. this takes a lot of courage, but also confidence in yourself and your abilities.
pile 3 - sun in the clouds
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cards pulled: emperor, ace of wands, ace of pentacles + queen of cups
what should you love about yourself ౨ৎ
you have strong leadership qualities and are able to bring people together/take charge of any situation, yet you are also creative and full of bright and unique ideas. you are incredibly passionate too, but also practical. it is as though you have a balanced mix of creativity and logic. with the ace of pentacles, you may be someone who could easily gain a lot of wealth as you likely are good with money - both in terms of saving it and earning it.
overall: with the queen of cups, there is this feminine energy within you that brings balance. the queen of cups is someone who is warm and nurturing, a great listener and advisor, someone who is like a mother figure in terms of your emotional awareness, empathy and intuition. you should love the strength that stems from your sensitivity, as well as your practical and authoritative side. you are a balanced person in all aspects of your character.
pile 4 - the eclipse
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ebfc87f082c77140699423b522a263b2/4db6fd25ac02e7b2-cb/s500x750/c8e8b691b3e6e5a8e5bcc450263bae2e3a33520a.jpg)
cards pulled: four of swords, knight of wands, ten of pentacles + chariot
what should you love about yourself ౨ৎ
you should love the calmness that you bring to people as well as yourself. you are able to find inner peace and you often prioritise self-care. despite this calm, there is also a sense of enthusiasm, energy, thrill and joy to you. you aren't afraid to grab the bull by the horns and charge straight into your goals and, with the ten of pentacles, you are also stable and there is this sense of wisdom to you. you may be someone who wants to share a life with a special person, to experience having a family, or you may love working with children.
overall: with the chariot, you should love that strength and fire within you. your take charge ability and perseverance in pursuit of your goals - which often end up victorious simply due to your sheer determination.
#tarot#tarot reading#free tarot#tarot community#pick a card#pick a pile#daily tarot#pac reading#general reading#general tarot reading#what should you love about yourself
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Withered
Beautiful Adult Neteyam photo by the wonderful @cinetrix
Pairing: Alpha Neteyam x Beta Fem Omatikaya Reader
Synopsis: You and Neteyam have opposite lives. He thrives in the daylight of possibilities while you are forced to the shadows. You are sure that the right course of action would be letting the future Olo'eyktan go. Neteyam is less convinced.
Based on a request from my 🥔 anon
Warnings: aged up characters, aged up neteyam, angst, health problems, explicit smut, dirty talk, crying, miscommunication, p in v, virgin reader, first time, omegaverse, alpha/beta relationship dynamic, heat, sickness, 18+ only MDNI
Tanhi: star/little star I Yawne: beloved I Sevin: pretty I Mawey: calm
A/N: I can't tell you all enough how grateful I am for the hype and many comments that have been around this story just from that small sneak peek I posted. This ended up being a lot longer than I ever anticipated but I had a blast writing it. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from y'all!
For many the sun is a symbol of warmth, peace, and solace. The bright rays enwrap Na’vi of all ages in the glow of Eywa’s love. The rise of morning light represents a new day, another chance for adventure and possibilities. When the illuminating glow of yellow sunshine transforms into streaks of vibrant purples and pinks, it indicates a time for families to come together and tuck in for the night.
However, for you, your day truly begins at the first glow of bioluminescence. Eclipse is your time to explore the world.
You were born with an almost unheard of disease. It only took a few days of your infant body breaking out into abnormal rashes for Tsahik to realize something was wrong. Exposure of more than a few minutes to sunshine causes detrimental effects to your body. For this reason, you are forced to avoid the vibrant glow of the sun.
From that moment on you have lived your life almost nocturnally. On lucky days the clouds protect you from the harmful UV rays. Rain has come to be your favorite weather as it allows you an escape from your hut.
Despite these difficulties you have always strived to remain positive. You thank your parents for their gracious attitudes that inspire you to look for the silver lining in all situations. Sure you can not sunbathe or prowl the forest during sunny days but no one knows the forest at Eclipse as well as you do. Your knowledge has come in handy more than a few times, being asked to guide night hunts with some of the most notorious warriors in the clan.
This is where you met Neteyam.
The firstborn of the infamous Toruk Makto and your future Olo’eyktan, you originally assumed he would have no interest in interacting with you. You knew him from afar, hearing the word spread of his kindness and diligence when it came to helping those around him. His alpha status only served to bring a larger gaggle of girls practically falling at his feet. As a beta and suffering from a rare condition, you naturally took yourself out of the run up. You were confident he would choose some sweet and knowledgeable omega that would be the perfect tsahik.
However, your assumptions quickly crumbled as he progressively paid attention to you more and more throughout these night hunts. Instead of joining the rest of the alpha warriors gathering to share a strong drink after a successful kill, he would opt to check in with you. You were shy at first, unsure of how to act around such an influential member of the clan. However, there was something about those golden orbs and soft smile that quickly set you at ease.
You still remember the first time you had sustained a small injury during these hunts. It was nothing more than a shallow slash to your forearm, but Neteyam had insisted on carefully wrapping it himself. You gushed over him like an idiot, reminding him that it was unnecessary but he showed his stubborn side that day.
At first you thought it was your own overactive imagination noticing the frequency of night hunts he signed up for increase, but eventually it had become every single night. No matter how boned-tired he was from a day of full Olo’eyktan training, he would beam at the sight of your small form. His scent was something that seemed to constantly enrapture your senses. The heavy essence of pine and hormonal swings was so much stronger than yours. It took some getting used to. The first few nights you were bashful to come home and find evidence of your arousal dampening your loincloth.
Still, you told yourself it was just a simple crush that you had to live with. It took weeks for you to even consider the possibility of Neteyam showing interest in you. He had been consistent in bringing you out of your shell, getting you to talk about everything from your family to the fondest hope and dreams in your heart. Oftentimes he would stay back behind after the hunt to help you join him sitting on an overarching thick branch (you were grateful for the darkness of eclipse that hid your blush each time he effortlessly hoisted you up with large hands gently holding your waist) and chat away into the night.
It was only when the gifts began that you gave these interactions a second thought. It had started small with simple flowers and fruits he had encountered throughout the day. However, they slowly became more intricate. The first time he brought you a small woven bracelet of sparkling gems, you had been gobsmacked.
“Like the night sky. The only thing appropriate for my tanhi.” He had said, making you almost choke on your own spit. Tahni- little star: a nickname he had coined for you after the first week. A fitting term for someone that only knew the night sky. Still, it was the first time he had ever called you his. The terminology was not lost on you.
When the sun arose once more and you had retired back to your protected hut, those words had kept you up, your small fingers twiddling with the bracelet.
Taking your acceptance of the small gift, Neteyam had become even more bold with his courting. Before you knew it he was bringing a meal with him for you before every hunt. You had tried to decline the thoughtful gesture but he would not take no for an answer.
“Someone has to make sure you eat, tanhi.”
There was no fighting the alpha on this, so you graciously took the meals each night. He smiled proudly as you moaned in satisfaction of the carefully seasoned meat he had killed and prepared for you. Another testament to the mighty warrior and beneficial mate he is.
You started to think that the eldest Sully was simply a flirt, or perhaps such a kind person that his actions came off as romantic. However, there was one instance that finally tipped you to accepting his affections. It was a particularly successful hunt, dragging home a thanator, when he had slowed down to your pace. Talking about anything and everything under the night sky, your breath was practically stolen from your lungs when he reached out to tuck a strand of your dark hair behind your ear.
However innocent the gesture was, it was the lingering of his hand running down your neck that caused your heart to bash against your rib cage violently. A simple brush that had left his scent to coalesce with yours. An essence that would keep other suitors away. Out of habit, you mentally went to play it off as a simple accident, but the crooked smirk plastered across his face did not allow you. There was a primal satisfaction seated in those golden orbs, one that caused a pool of arousal to gather in your core.
He knew what he had done.
Neteyam was proud of it.
His affection was untethered from that point forward. Accidental brushes of fingers had turned into blatant hand holding. The alpha never missed an opportunity to press a warm hand to the small of your back, guiding you through the terrain, or wrap an arm around your waist in order to steady you when walking over uneven forest floor.
“What kind of alpha would I be if I let you get hurt?”
He had spoken in response to your inquiry, a cheeky grin plastered across his face.
Falling for Neteyam was easy. Too easy. It was keeping yourself back from jumping into his arms or melting into his embraces that was difficult. No matter how strange and suggestive his behavior had been, you didn’t want to get your hopes up. After all, there was no saying what he got up to during the day. For all you knew he could be taking omegas out every day and weaving sweet gifts for them too.
So you had decided to do what was best for everyone and take yourself out of the situation before something embarrassing could happen. You declined the request to accompany the hunting party and instead went to spend some more time with your family. If your parents noticed the difference in your appearance they did not show it. They were always good at giving you space, respecting your independence as an adult (although your mother did go out of her way to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, a silent way to express her understanding and love). Neither of them knew about Neteyam at the time, it was easier that way.
This fact only heightened their surprise when they saw Toruk Makto’s eldest son approaching their small gathering. You can still remember the intent gaze that Neteyam pierced you with. Your heart hammered out of your chest, hands fidgeting with the moss beneath you nervously. Neteyam signaled the traditional greeting to your parents before respectfully asking your father if he could borrow you for a moment.
They were caught off guard, your dad turning back to send you a curious look, but naturally neither wanted to decline the Omatikaya prince.
Once the two of you were finally alone, Neteyam immediately sprang into action. He grabbed your biceps and used that hold to turn you from side to side as he scanned your form. His intense inspection had blood rushing to your cheeks.
“Neteyam, what are you doing? I thou-”
“Where are you injured?” You twitched when he reached a hand out to inspect your flicking tail too. Confusion swarmed within you. You had sputtered and struggled to put together a full sentence.
“It has been three days, Tanhi. I blew one day off as exhaustion or a fluke and the second as pure coincidence but surely only an injury would keep you away from the hunt for three days.” His eyes finally met yours again when there was no wound to be found. His tall frame had towered over yours as he reached out to cup your cheek.
That familiar warmth and adoration you had for him had returned within an instant.
You stepped back, successfully out of his grasp.
“I’m fine.” You replied simply.
His tail swatted in the humid air and those golden orbs had squinted into slits. The focused attention of that look full of suspicion was enough to hold you down to your spot. You swallowed the lump in your throat and as you tried desperately to keep the fidgeting at bay. It was one of the few times you were grateful to be beta because surely an omega would shrivel under the pressure of his looming presence.
“I don’t like when you lie to me, Tahni. Now tell me why I’ve had to go without my little star for three whole days.” Neteyam placed his hands sternly upon his hips, ears twitching forward as if preparing to take in your explanation. An explanation that you felt could not be shared. Doing so was bound to undermine your plans, completely destroying the efforts that had been made.
“The group seems to be more than sufficient without my guidance.” You don’t dare to meet his eyes, your own orbs trained at the ground instead. In a moment’s notice his sculpted body was once again inches away from yours. His warmth came off of him in waves, along with the heady aura of alpha pheromones.
You couldn’t hold back the shiver that ran down your spine when he placed heavy hands on your shoulders and bent over your frame till you could feel his calm breath against your ear. Neteyam’s tail wrapped around your thigh. A part of your brain told you to run, understanding the alluring danger that awaited you, while the other yearned to curl up against his impressive physique.
You couldn’t understand how any omega managed to be around this male without completely dropping to their knees.
Suddenly you had some sympathy for the girls that had always fawned over him.
“Tell me the truth, sevin.” The heated words tickled at your ears and made your heart skip a beat. It was foolish to think that there was any chance of lying to Neteyam, the mighty warrior that walked with the confidence of the supernatural.
So you did.
You had scrambled to messily explain how it would be best if the two of you spent less time together. Unfortunately this unrehearsed synopsis included an approach that painted yourself as the foolish beta with a crush on the Omatikaya prince and therefore unable to handle herself around him. It was not the perspective you had hoped for, but it was the only one that could have been presented in your state of jumbled thought.
Neteyam shook his head, an almost fond smile upon his lips.
“Tanhi, you really do not like to make things easy for me.” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. The sound put you slightly on edge but there was no trace of anger in his expression. Amusement was easily perceivable in the raise of his hairless eyebrows. He had taken your humiliating and pathetic explanation in stride, in fact, he had found humor in it.
“I thought I’ve made myself clear.” You were swooped into the encirclement of his arms in one quick motion. You squeaked and braced yourself against the warm muscles of his abdomen. “You are the mate I seek.”
His words had thrown you into a spiral, your heartstrings plucking into rhythms of heightened emotion. It was almost too much to take in. A part of you still found security in denying these bold claims but there had been too much evidence at that point. Neteyam Sully had in fact been courting you.
His head lowered, nuzzling at your face until you finally looked up at him. Your lips were only a breath apart.
“If you’ll have me.” Neteyam whispered.
There was no fighting the longings of your heart at that rate. That night you had agreed to his courting and within a month the two of you had been madly in love and preparing to officially mate.
The process was faster, seemingly faster than anything else in your life. Night had always slowed you down from progressing in the normal rhythm of Na’vi milestones, but Neteyam had broken that pattern for you.
You can still remember the vivid sensation of his tendrils connecting with your own. Those sparks of electricity that had created a direct line to his innermost feelings and thoughts. There was great solace to be found in the surging feelings of love and adoration he had for you, something you had been able to tap into. Still, nothing could ever compare with the way you felt for Neteyam.
He’s your world. Your light. Your sun.
Being with him feels like finally having a taste of those golden rays. You can see it in his smile. In the shake of his shoulders when his laughter trickles from soft lips. In the unashamed sparkle that overtakes his eyes in a coating whenever they land on you after a long day of training.
Neteyam has become your world in only a matter of a few months. It is hard to imagine how you went so many years without this unbreakable connection between the two of you. Each night you wake up to the warm embrace of your mate who has come home from a long day of training. Soft kisses are placed along your eyelids, cheeks, and nose until your thick lashes flutter and you regain consciousness.
The searing envious looks of other females can be felt at your back when the two of you join the rest of the clan for dinner each night, but it is only white noise in the presence of your handsome mate guiding you with a hand to the small of your back. In fact it becomes less than a passing memory when Neteyam goes on to share the events of the day in great detail, usually pulling out a tucked away gift he has found for you along the trails of his adventures.
There is so much hidden beneath that emanating exterior of perfection that Neteyam upholds. He strips away those layers only for you, usually among the flowering meadow the two of you lay in while stargazing. The stories often end with your mate trailing off into a groggy murmur until the air fills with the sounds of his sleeping breaths. You prefer to stay tucked against him for a while longer, letting the moment last before you must wake him and shoo the mighty warrior back home for some much needed rest.
While he sleeps you venture from the hut to forage and hunt, although Neteyam prefers to accompany you during dangerous hunts. You decide that what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. He is known to be an overprotective alpha anyway. Once food has been secured and your adventures have come to a close, you slip back into the darkened hut before the first break of dawn. Those specially made thick curtains are the difference between life and death for you.
Although the tent has been sufficient for years, Neteyam continues to add to its layers. He is constantly worrying about the vulnerabilities of the hut, convinced that one slip could bring catastrophic consequences to his mate. So he works with his father to constantly rebuild and strengthen the exterior walls. There are times where you remind him of how unnecessary these actions are but Neteyam is undeterred by these conversations. So you let your mate continue his projects. If it brings him peace of mind to obsess over the structure then it must be doing some good.
Things are great for the first month. Nothing sexual occurs during those first few weeks of being newly mated, out of respect to you. There is no denying that Neteyam has had experience in the ways of pleasuring females but you on the other hand have never been close to intimate with someone else. As a couple you decide to take things slow. However, you can not help but admire the restraint Neteyam shows when you catch the shift of his pheromones into that of lust or see the tightness of his loincloth after a particularly long make out session.
Were it any other alpha you are sure that the time would have come for him to become impatient and work towards persuading you to go further with him. However, Neteyam knows that you are shy and nervous. He puts your needs before his own and constantly assures you that he is happy to wait so long as you feel comfortable when the time is right.
Your apprehension has slowly been melting away. The soft caresses that travel along your form sends a burning thrill that is exotic to you. Moments where you are brave enough to straddle his lap while kissing, the friction of his groin against your core is electric. These new feelings have been quickly festering and building inside of you. The nerves have slowly morphed into alluring curiosity. It has been becoming harder to hold back.
For this reason, you’ve decided to tell Neteyam tonight that you are ready. Finally, the bond created through tsaheylu will be strengthened and confirmed by the intertwining of each other’s bodies.
The last hints of sunshine have disappeared behind the moon. This time you wake before Neteyam has a chance to come wake you up himself. The nerves that bundle into a coil in your stomach have kept you from sleeping in so you decide to seek him out yourself. It shouldn’t be long till he is back from an exhibition with Jake.
The village is lively with reuniting families after a prosperous day of duties. It's a familiar sight that has always brought a warmth to your heart, especially that of small children running to their mothers or fathers with grabby hands. There are times where you imagine sending your own child to wobble excitedly towards Neteyam, spun through the air by the mighty warrior that you are lucky enough to call your mate.
High in the trees, hidden by the walls of a family hut you hear the familiar voice of Lo’ak. A smile tugs at your lips, confident that Neteyam is sure to be with his brother. However, that excitement is dampened slightly when the responding voice is not your mate’s but Unip’s.
“I just don’t know how long he thinks this can go on.” Unip sighs.
“Well you know how Neteyam is. He will find a way to succeed and if not, he will die trying.” Lo’ak snorts, but there is a hint of concern in his nonchalant tone. It’s a timber that makes you halt in your tracks and ears twitch to hear the conversation.
“It’s only going to get worse, you know. Once he is Olo’eyktan, half a night’s rest will not be enough anymore. He already looks half dead.”
There is a silence that follows, only filled by the sound of your own heart thumping.
“You’re never going to convince him otherwise, bro.” Lo’ak responds, amused tone faltering greatly.
Stepping forward, you curve yourself around a thick tree trunk in effort to discreetly get a better look at the pair. Lo’ak’s back is facing towards you but even from this low vantage point, the lines of his tense muscle are easy to spot. Your golden eyes have become specialized for seeing in the dark after all these years, allowing a better image of his form and mannerisms. You are used to reading people’s expressions and body language with only the dim glow of eclipse.
“Stubborn skxawng.” Unip shakes his head before leaning against the sturdy trunk. His scowl is illuminated by the soft red glow of a patch of sprouting flowers. The sight makes your stomach twist.
Have things truly gotten this bad?
“Neteyam won’t leave her. You and I both know that. All that can be done is make peace with it.” Lo’ak shrugs his shoulders.
“And watch him turn into an old man in a few years. Those bags are sure to be bad for his pretty boy appearance.” Unip quips back, causing both the males to break out into laughter.
The tension visibly eases between them but you are not laughing. In fact, you can feel the beginning of those twisting nerves pushing bile up your throat. All joyful anticipation has washed from your features, replaced with dread and horror.
Your feet drum against the forest floor, stuck on autopilot and effectively taking you home. The beginning of streaming tears threaten to drop past your eyes.
It’s true that Neteyam has been tired but it isn’t till now that you reply back your interactions and his recent appearance. Those dark circles aren’t as prevalent in the light of eclipse, perhaps they are more telling in daylight. Neteyam has a way of falling asleep in a matter of seconds once hitting the mat but you have always assumed that to be a part of his nature. Some people are naturally deep sleepers.
However, now, all of these signs appear in a different light for you. Each conversation is played back in your head but of course Neteyam has never let his weaknesses show, especially ones that could be brought on by you. You know this and yet it is only now that you scold yourself for not being more perceptive, for not seeking advice and perspective from those around him.
His family and friends have an advantage that you can not achieve. Surely they would be the first to notice his changes in demeanor and health. They are the ones watching him work, train, and interact more closely with clan members. You have never been more envious of those walking in the sun in your entire life. This condition has always been a hassle for you but now it has turned into true heartache.
This weakness that Eywa has given you is no longer just affecting you but now your perfect mate. This disease has spread to him in a way you scold yourself for not anticipating.
How is he supposed to become Olo’eyktan, protecting and guiding the People all while being tethered to you?
Eywa has destined your life to be forever restricted to the shadows, but that is not Neteyam’s path.
You can spot the familiar dark canvases of your hut in the trees up ahead. No doubt Neteyam has already returned home at this point, if not then he will soon. Less than an hour earlier you were ecstatic to see him but now the thought of seeing those tired eyes makes you want to curl up into a ball.
Needing more time to process, you opt to take a different route, one that leads to a secluded waterfall. Safe in the greenery and now sitting in the shallow area of the glowing water, you take a moment to breathe. Water trickles into a soothing pattern that has been associated with your memories in this found sanctuary.
Truly, none of this should be a surprise. This ailment has been the driving course of your life thus far and you’ve grown used to it, letting go of certain aspects that are not meant for you. Neteyam is just another one of those. He is beyond your reach. Keeping him here would only hurt the clan. They need a leader that can be with them, present both physically and mentally. For the greater good it is time to let him become that Olo’eyktan.
Perhaps you would have accepted this fact and stuck to it earlier on were it not for the great love you hold for him. Neteyam Sully holds your heart and soul effortlessly in his hands. There will never be another that lights up your life the same way he does and truth be told, you don’t want there to be. Forever your first and only love.
Regardless, the time for being selfish is over.
Some Na’vi have the honor of dying a warrior’s death, going down in the name of protecting the People. Others sacrifice their time and energy serving the clan daily in the name of Eywa. You have been kept back from either of these duties so it makes sense that giving up the future Olo’eyktan would be your contribution.
After all, how are you supposed to serve as Tsahik with your limitations?
This makes sense. Your brian tells you this is the logical solution. Life will go on. You will return back to a life that you have come to be content with over the years and Neteyam will find a proper mate that can serve The People by his side.
Still, it is impossible to ignore the cracks that are slowly developing in your heart. It is difficult to imagine a life without your true love. The thought alone has a sob crawling up your throat. This sound however is morphed into a strange shriek when a pair of muscular arms suddenly grasp and pull you back against a hard chest.
The water splashes around the two of you and you can feel the rumble of Neteyam’s laughter as you are awkwardly shifted in his arms.
“Baby girl, you are really off your game today.” He teases fondly before nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck. An efficient shuffle has you more familiarly settled between the corded muscle of his toned thighs. Instinctually you lean back against him.
“What? Nothing to say in your defense?”
“Oh yeah uh just tired.” You lamely respond.
“Silly Tanhi, today has barely begun.”
For you.
The day has barely begun for you and only you. Every other Na’vi enjoy the blissful alignment of the sun and their ‘days’. You are the outlier.
Gathering up your courage you finally lift yourself onto your knees and turn to face him. Neteyam grins, but for once you aren’t focused on the gleams of those pearly teeth. Sure enough there are dark circles in a crescent shape beneath his eyes. You reach out to thumb at those dark contrasts. The alpha blissfully misreads this as cupping his cheek. He leans into the touch and his smile broadens.
“My sweet sevin.” He mumbles. Your stomach tightens back into that knot. Finally, he seems to notice the shift in your demeanor. The smile falters and he places his hand over the one cupping his cheek. The large veined hand completely covers yours.
“What’s wrong?”
It seems an impossible task to go through with what you know must be done. A part of you considers holding off, letting it last a little longer before you lose him forever. However, that would only result in a more sleep deprived Omatikaya Prince and the suffering of future Olo’eyktan.
The longer you take to respond the faster the amusement in those golden orbs declines. He calls your name softly and turns his head to gently peck your palm.
“I just-” You steady yourself. The words feel like acid crawling up your throat and sitting pressed against him only makes it burn more. Cautiously you detach yourself completely and settle down on the colorful rocks lining the shallow river.
Neteyam immediately stiffens. His tail curls up into high alert and his ears twitch back slightly, but still you can see the now fake smile plastered on his face.
“You’re…tired.” It’s a weak start but they are the only words you can force out.
There is a flicker of surprise in his features but it melts away into a mocking eye roll. The corners of his lips are back to being turned up in a more genuine manner.
“Well of course I’m a little tired Tanhi. Every mighty warrior should be if he’s done his job right.” The alpha chuckles and you can almost taste the deviation of his pheromones. He confidently reaches out to take your hand in his. “But never too tired to spend time with my sweet little star.”
The cool rush of water is a dramatic contrast to the warm grasp Neteyam has on your hand. It feels like fire that curls up your veins and pushes tears to the back of your eyes. It’s too painful to be close like this. To see him obliviously flirt and cuddle as if all is well when you know deep down that this will be the last time you feel his touch.
“No, I mean exhausted. Ma Neteyam-” You shut your mouth tight. That phrase was so easily in your arsenal of vocabulary but it’s time to start training yourself to stop using it. You brush the circles under his eyes again. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep.”
Realization seems to dawn for him.
“Oh you mean my eyes. Lo’ak was teasing me earlier about it. Didn’t think it would bother you so much, sevin, but I’m sure my grandmother has some herbs to lighten the color.” He laughs lightly.
“No, Neteyam. This is bad for you. Staying up every night only to push yourself to the limit the next day. Living in that darkened hut. Spending every last fiber of energy you have spending time with me. Taking care of me-”
“That is what mates do, Tanhi. I don’t want it any other way-”
“I am bad for you!”
The words cut through the air and suddenly every remnant of the playful atmosphere has disappeared.
“Don’t say stuff like that, Tanhi.” His voice is firm, stern enough to be considered reprimanding. Neteyam eyes darken onto a duller glow. The musky scent of your mate shifts into that of a stronger presence. It’s moments like that that you remember how distinct his second gender is.
“Neteyam, you know I’m right. This condition is no longer just hurting me but you too. Playing this game of back and forth makes no sense.”
He sits up straight, back stiff as a rod. It takes everything in you to hold that gaze without bursting into tears and backing down. The flicker of his tail has turned into frantic swatting as his lips curl downwards.
“What are you trying to say, love?”
You gulp and prepare yourself to utter words that weigh heavy in your heart.
“We have to end this.”
Silence drags on. The rush of running water and purring wildlife is the only thing that fills the air. Your tail swishes nervously in the water, causing a slight splash. No matter which way you squint or tilt your head, Neteyam’s expression is unreadable. Even your enhanced night vision is not enough to fully understand or anticipate the brewing emotions beneath those golden eyes.
“No.”
Your mind sputters to a halt at the snipped response. He’s giving you nothing to work with.
“Neteya-”
“Where is all of this coming from, yawne?” He reaches forward to cup your cheek but you stand up before he can. This close proximity is becoming too much. Perhaps it’s cowardly, but you need a reprieve from his love-filled gaze and tender touches. Otherwise, there is no way you will be able to do what needs to be done. You wonder if he knows this as you are met with a toned chest at eye level blocking your path.
“Did something happen?”
“No.”
“Then why are you so worried all of a sudden?” He pleads for an answer but you have finally managed to slip past him and wade out of the water. The drum of your feet rings in your ears, taking you to Eywa knows where. Neteyam is hot on your heels.
“It’s not just worry, it’s logic, Neteyam. Can’t you see? You are going to be Olo’eyktan. The People need a leader that won’t be tied to some nocturnal Na’vi that drains the last bit of energy you have left.”
The alpha goes to interject but the words are flying out of your mouth at such a speed at this rate, he has no opportunity.
“They will need a Tsahik that can do more than just work a night shift. Not to mention one that actually understand healing protocal-”
“My grandmother has already offered to teach you.” He counters, stomping feet practically nipping at your heels. It’s not that you mean to walk away from him, but the dam that holds your suffocating emotions at bay is starting to crack and crumble. One look at him could weaken your resolve. This has to be done fast, ripped off like an adhesive bandage.
“You deserve to be with someone that can lead The People with you. A mate that can serve both you and the clan in a way I never can. An omega that is a proper mate.”
A strong hand clamps around your bicep and spins you around. Neteyam glowers down at you with an intensity that is borderline desperate. The tears are starting to leave a glaze over your eyes, even as you avoid his own at any cost.
“You are my mate. You are the woman that I choose to spend the rest of my days with.” He tries to gently tilt your face towards him by grabbing your chin, but you flick it off. “We are mated before Eywa.” The crack in his voice tears at your heart.
“I shouldn’t have let it go on this long, I’m sorry. I foolishly let myself believe that you and I are meant to be but now it is clear that my head was simply in the clouds.” A sob thickens your voice until it is barely tangible. Words are failing you and you idly wonder how many more you will truly be able to manage in this state.
You attempt to flee from his embrace once more, just a moment to escape that heartbreaking stare that follows your every move. Neteyam holds you gently by the biceps but there is enough force there to keep you in place.
“We are, Tahni. All these other obstacles are just that, obstacles. Things we can overcome.” He slumps down, determined to finally have your eyes meet his. The curtain of your flowing hair is a weak shield against these efforts. You can feel the heat of his escalating breath tickle at your cheeks. He swoops in closer slowly, with the caution of closing in on a skittish prey. “It’s just you and me, little star.”
The flat of his nose finally rests against yours, lips only a sudden movement away.
There are promises of familiar comfort and happiness in this intimate position. Your nature keens towards his gentle touch. It prompts you to hide away every other concern, worried that it could break this moment of tranquility.
However, that is exactly what you do.
“You have to break it.”
There is a pause, a moment of shock that you take advantage of. Slipping out his hold, you watch realization slink across his features. It’s blood chilling, the look of horror that is clearly evident upon his handsome face. It’s a rare thing to render Neteyam speechless. He has grown up learning how to lead and command a room with confidence and grace. Seeing him now, mouth agape as his thoughts lag, it’s easier to see that there is simply a normal man behind the mighty warrior.
A male that you have managed to strip away the light in his eyes, all evidence of excitement lost.
It is now that you can truly see the aching restlessness and lost nights of sleep in his demeanor. He wilts before you.
“You don’t mean that.” He insists, voice now hollow of its usual domineering confidence.
“I do.” The timber of your voice shivers and shakes, doing nothing to strengthen your resolve. Still, the lost look that Neteyam sends you absolutely wrenches at your heart. “It’s what’s best for everyone.”
Words that are meant to reassure him at least slightly only make his tail halt movement, obvious that the phrase only digs the dagger deeper into his chest.
“Everyone?” He whispers, hairless eyebrows drawing together. Hesitant steps lead you backwards, eager to begin your journey away from this tornado of darkened emotions. Away from the raincloud you have created between the two of you. “You…this is what you want?”
Want.
That small word is a palpable distinction. To change this argument from what needs to be done to the inner workings of your desires and dreams. To veer it towards the ever flowing river of devotion and love you know will always be in your heart for him. It’s the one move that leaves you completely defenseless.
This is the last thing that you want.
He has to know that. He must know that. And perhaps that is why he faces you with this question head on, forcing you to say the words out loud. It’s a towering wall that you have no hopes of climbing. Lying is not your strong suit. Neteyam knows that.
“Please Neteyam.” You send your final plea before turning on your heel and bolting. Vanishing into the trees before he has a second to form one syllable.
Lying isn’t your strength, but hiding is something you are familiar with.
“She’ll probably cool down.” Lo’ak reassures him, handing a leaf with larvae to Neteyam.
“What did I do wrong?” Neteyam wonders out loud. It’s difficult for Lo’ak to tell whether or not that question is rhetorical. The eldest Sully’s eyes are focused on the horizon, he’s lost. Off somewhere else.
“Nothing, bro! Not everything is that simple.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Neteyam sees the wooden cup of strong drink pushed toward him but he declines. Drinking is the last thing he needs right now, although it is tempting. These past two days have been pure torture and sorrow. Washing every clouding thought away with the swig of fermented fruit would surely keep his mind off of you for a while, but it would never stop the permanent ache in his chest.
Although Neteyam knows he must look awful because even his father encourages him to drink, despite the duties he is set to carry out the next day. Most nights he is advised to keep his wits about him, but Jake has let up since the event.
“There has to be something I could’ve said. Perhaps something I can say now.”
“Bro, you’ve already said more than enough. If your constant notes and begging haven’t got her to let you into the hut, I don’t think words are the problem here.” A grimace is etched into Lo’ak’s features but Neteyam turns away from the sight. He can’t handle the look of pity that his family seems to constantly be shooting him.
He looks miserable. He is miserable. Every Na’vi with eyes can see that much. However, he doesn’t want sympathy. He needs solutions. A plan that will set things right again. Anything to bring his littler start back into his arms.
“Ma Teyam,” Neteyiri gently coos, haunching forward to tuck on the tangled braids behind his ear. “Perhaps it is time to give her some space.”
Usually his mother’s presence has the power to soothe away the worst of his worries, but today all he can do is sigh at her words. Sitting in problems has never been his strong suit. Neteyam is used to problem solving. Coming up with a strategy and executing it until the issue is nothing but a distant memory. He prays to Eywa that this too will become just that. Something that can be laughed at down the road.
However, sitting here now surrounded by people and never feeling more lonely, it’s hard to imagine ever laughing at such a thing.
Neteyam continues to pick at the grass next to the untouched meal. The sun has been down for over an hour now. Dinner is wrapping up and there is still no sight of you…again. Every crunch of a leaf or flitter of voices has him turning to search for your small frame in the darkness. It’s an effort that leaves him empty handed every time but, no matter the frequency of failure he can’t stop himself from whipping his head around anyway.
“You know, there was a time that I was upset with your father. Livid, actually. And yet here we are today.” Neytiri almost purrs, trying to comfort her son.
“Yeah and did he wait around and give you space?” The words come out harsher than intended but Neytiri doesn’t tell him off like usual. Instead her ears pin back and she runs a thumb across his cheek. Jake and Neytiri lock eyes from across the fire, a silent communication that has Jake clearing his throat.
“I’m not sure if I’m the prime example in this scenario, kid.” A deep chuckle accentuates Jake’s words. He goes to close his mouth and leave it at that but his mate sends him one fierce look that lets him know he is far from done comforting their eldest. “I mean uh truth be told, I was an absolute knucklehead before I met your mother.”
“Still are.” She corrects him.
Jake doesn’t try to fight against the claim, but he does nervously clasp the back of his neck, searching for the right words to say.
“Tanhi still hasn’t eaten. Must go.” Neteyam abruptly calls, on his feet within a heartbeat. He gently cradles his untouched meal in the palm of his hand as he navigates his way out of the circle of his family. Neytiri sighs and Jake sends her an apologetic look as they watch their son slither off into the night once again.
Even Tuk sends sad eyes in the direction of her older brother as he walks away.
Upon reaching the dark curtains of your hut, Neteyam is unsure whether or not you still reside inside. There is no sign of light emanating inwards. For a moment he is convinced that you have slipped out during his absence, but then there is a ruffle of covers that his ears manage to pick up. Stalking forward carefully, he leans in to pick up on every sound possible.
Even with his alpha hearing, there is little to no noise coming from the hut. Or at least no sound that is useful to him in any way. He wonders what you are up to within those darkened walls. His hindbrain urges him to go inside and find out for himself, cradle you in his arms till there are promises of never leaving again. However, he knows better than that.
Neteyam waits to be invited in.
“Tanhi?” The sound echoes through the night air, but no response comes. With a sigh he kneels down by the entrance, cautiously pushing the leaf underneath the thick rim of fabric.
“You missed dinner again.” Neteyam knows he shouldn’t expect a response at this point, but his tail still naturally droops to the floor when one doesn’t come. “I brought some for you.”
He waits once more, but silence hangs heavy in the air. Neteyam’s ears twitch to focus in on the minute sounds again. The shallow breathing is confirmation enough of your presence. A part of him almost wishes that he is talking to a blank piece of fabric. If you had left then he could have at least spent that anxious energy scouring the forest for your slim frame. If you had left it would give him hope that you’ve hunted, eaten, gone on a walk. Anything that isn’t sitting in your hut.
“Do me a favor, baby. Please eat something. Maybe you have been when I’m not breathing down your neck,” He gives a humorless laugh. “But…I just want to make sure you’re healthy. I’m starting to get worried.”
When the silence continues he doesn’t leave immediately. The weight of the stress and heartache is tangible. He can feel it in his bones. He can sense it when in the lag of his maneuvers and movements during flight in his training. Truth be told, Neteyam is sure that it’s visible to others, shining through in his trudging walk to and fro.
Sitting here in the grass, the same place he had spent that first night you started icing him out, he can feel the weight of sleep pulling him downwards. The muscles of his body scream in protest at every movement. Physically his body is ready to give way, but his hindbrain weaves together signs of distress all night long.
His instincts yearn to be close to you again, close to his mate who he shares a special connection with that nothing can replace. At times it is painful, that bond between the two of you. Neteyam remembers many days where that connection has been physically fortified by your time together, binding tighter with every brush of his fingers along your skin. However, he did not anticipate the effects of the opposite reaction.
Going to sleep alone and cold, leaves a heavy weight on his chest. At times it feels almost suffocating. Sleeping outside of your hut doesn’t erase these pains, but it does dull them slightly. He wonders if you’ve ever stepped over him during his slumber. Actively trying to or not, his senses remain on high alert throughout the night. He can wake at the drop of a leaf, false hope that it may be your small form finally stepping past those heavy curtains.
“Neteyam.” His head whips around at the voice, but it isn’t your honey timber that flits through his ears. Instead it comes from behind him, where Kiri stands with her hands woven together in front of her.
“What’s wrong?”
Not bothering to answer, she instead motions for him to follow her. He glances back at the entrance of your hut, but one look at Kiri’s down turned lips has him groggily shifting back onto his feet. She doesn’t speak till the two of them are out of ear shot.
“Mom and Dad sent you?” Neteyam guesses, tail already drooping between his legs. It bothers him that his parents are rushing to bandage things up, treating him like a child. Advice is appreciated at the best of times, but this is his life. He is an adult, and has been for years now. The rift that has been fortified between you two is his problem to solve and therefore his choice on how to fix it.
“No, just thought I would save you from making a fool of yourself.” She continues to effortlessly lead him away from the hut.
“I’m just dropping some food off.”
“I know.” There is no hint of mocking or disbelief in her tone. She simply grabs his hand gently and guides him back along the path home. Neteyam braces himself for a spew of advice but it never comes. Kiri to his surprise is silent, no hint of tension lingering between them. Still, he knows what message is being conveyed. No matter how much it hurts, he can’t continue to barricade your front door.
It’s moments like these that Neteyam comes to truly admire how much his younger sister has grown up. She prances through the forest with a humble confidence. Each step taken with the certainty of belonging. Kiri no longer needs others to tell her who she is. Similarly she feels no need to press her opinions on her older brother. She waits patiently. As if she knows that he will come to her when the time is right.
It is a quality he looks upon with great fondness and gratitude.
Life has thrown you more obstacles than you care to count. This condition has been a stumbling block your entire life, but you refuse to let it keep you from the finishing line. You consider yourself a persevering person, one that is not easily taken down. When things get difficult you have always been taught to gather your bearings and get to work. Some sacrifices are painful but meant to be left behind if they are keeping you from fulfilling a happy and purposeful life.
So for the first few days, you try to get back into your normal routine. The first night was spent weaving baskets together through the blurred vision of your tears. The basket came out looking like it had been mauled by a Palulukan. Regardless you continued to attempt getting back into your old routine, however those were usually filled with night hunts, an activity you were terrified of seeing Neteyam at. So you declined.
However, truth be told, it only takes twenty four hours to realize that this heartbreak is intruding upon everything you do. You open your eyes as sunset turns to Eclipse and the first thing that surfaces is the dread at needing to go to communal dinner. So, you push dinner off. Neteyam is persistent in bringing you a plate each night, usually saying a few apologies and begging once again for you to come out.
Your lips are raw and sore from biting into them in order to keep sobs at bay every time he comes to visit. Those first few nights he spent laying outside your hut was an awful mixture of longing and agony. His potent essence was easily carried through the night wind, constantly bringing it to your senses. You had twisted in the thin blankets on your hammock to stop yourself from going out there and cuddling next to him.
On the third night, he doesn’t stay.
You expect to feel relieved when he silently sets the serving of food down and leaves.
And yet, there is a part of you that longs for the draw of his smooth voice, no matter how distraught and rough it has become over the past few days. A part of you seems to also intrinsically sense his presence, even in the midst of slumber. Now that he spends his nights away from your hut, the emotional turmoil has become too much to handle.
Simple tasks pose as daunting accomplishments, ones that already feel like impending defeat. So, you slowly start losing those habits too. Your eyes run out of tears to shed so instead you spend more than a reasonable amount of time pondering on your life. You consider what it is that brought you to these circumstances, questioning whether or not you were the one to blame for this heartbreak. Perhaps, you were the one easily swayed into promises of fairy tales.
Before you know it a whole week has passed and you haven’t stepped foot outside. Recognizing this fact makes you feel pathetic and helpless, something that you don’t take a liking to. So, with red rimmed eyes and a congested nose, you take up a new purpose. Wielding together weapons from the materials in your hut.
Although they’re nothing to gawk at, the finished results are enough to convince yourself that you are contributing to the welfare of the clan. The steps are repetitive and allow your thoughts to wander while doing so. By the second week you have donated a fair amount to the hunting parties without having to leave your home, thanks to the kindness of your mother.
Your parents drop in frequently, but it’s obvious that they too find these visits painful. It’s an emotional ball and chain to see you wither away into something different. Visits that used to be full of vibrant laughter and storytelling now consist mostly of their own updates and pleas for you to come outside. Each time you assure them that you will…soon.
It’s not a lie, at least not to you.
Despite the physical ache of your heart every time you think of Neteyam’s smiling face and the bond that is now nothing but dust between you, there is still hope in your heart. A hope that someday you will recover from these lovesick feelings and finally be able to look upon the Omatikaya prince as any other clan member would. Purpose will return to your everyday tasks and Neteyam will only reside in your mind as Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya.
Still, you would be naive to ignore the weighted awareness of his presence that consumes you every time he comes to drop meals off. You can sense him before his footsteps are even audible. Occasionally, he will say a few encouraging words or promises of solution but some nights he simply places the food there and stares at it sadly before disappearing once more. Both instances strangle your heart in their grasp.
You thought that his scent would lessen once the bond was broken, but you figure it is alpha status to thank for always sending his essence of fresh pine through your hut at each visit. In some ways it feels like the only full breaths you took. The woven walls still allow air in, but only breezes warped with his scent remind you of being outside.
It’s on the two week mark that there is a shift in the miserable routine. No meal is brought to the entryway. Hours go by and Neteyam never comes by. You’ve been living off of those nightly meals and while one meal is not hardly enough to maintain a status of full health, its loss is even worse. At first, it appears that Neteyam has given up. He is tired of chasing after you and rightfully so you suppose. This is meant to be a step in the right direction, but you cry yourself to sleep that night. Apparently, your body had an extra storage of tears after all.
However, when it happens again, your theories start to change. A small slice of fruit is left outside on a leaf by the curtains in place of a meal. It’s delicious with juice squirting along your tongue in a dramatic symphony of taste. It’s the type of experience that leaves one wanting for more. Initially you are disappointed when the small piece is gone, but you remember where this food comes from. It would only take a five minute walk to approach the communal fire and snatch some away for yourself.
Only moments away from dipping outside that entry way for the first time in two weeks, you have another thought.
Neteyam only put one piece.
Would it not have been easier to leave a whole fruit rather than take the time to cut and separate one morsel of it onto a leaf as an offering.
It wasn’t an offering, it was an enticement.
You stay behind, trying to forget the sweet tang of the dessert.
Sure enough the suspicion is correct when the next night one piece of wrapped chocolate is left outside with a note.
Found this during the raid this week. There’s a whole bag left sitting in my hut. Let me know if you want some more.
-Neteyam
The chocolate is a tiny ball wrapped in a red textured material that is unfamiliar to Pandora. Chocolate is something you never knew of before Neteyam. However, now it has become one of your all time favorite delicacies, especially with the rarity of its availability. Neteyam took a great liking to showing you around the outpost and the stocked treasures they were stealing from the old Hell’s Gate post and the new trains they were constantly raiding. He would explain the random customs and stories of Sky People that he hears from his father while carefully unwrapping the delicious pieces for you.
Some days you would even have him read some of the English text, whether from the wrappers or other books that are kept around the outpost for the human scientists to enjoy at their leisure. You never understand a word of what he says, but the sounds are fascinating to hear in Neteyam’s familiar timber. Although the Mother Tongue of the Sky Demons, you’ve always been fascinated by Neteyam’s ability to speak it. Something very distinctly attractive about his extra abilities.
You sigh and thumb at the round ball of chocolate. It melts on your tongue, creating an explosion of sweet smooth sensations. Leave it to Neteyam to try and lure you out through your love of chocolate. That night you flatten out the wrapper, running your thumb over the English text that appears as nothing more than scribbles to you. It serves as a painful reminder of the golden memories the two of you have shared.
It remains clamped in your fist the entire day.
Heavy eyelids blinking open slowly, you can still feel the strange texture of that wrapper between your fingers. Contrary to your lack of activity, your body feels sore. Every muscle seems to be wound the wrong way and the air in your hut feels moist and stuffy. Stretching out, your foot hits the food supplies basket you keep and knocks it over. You stumble to put the object away, or rather you try to before you realize that it’s empty.
The last of your supplies is gone.
Regardless of your feelings and fears, you need to go outside today. It’s time to face the music.
Your toes curl and feet flex before carefully shifting to stand. Pushing aside clusters of baskets and tools you finally breach the front entryway of your hut. Expecting the air to have cooled down by now, your skin prickles strangely at the feeling of heat against your back. You rush to throw off whatever blanket or item of clothing that must have stuck to you but then your eyes are blinded. Sheer light invades your vision, drenching every sight in white.
Stumbling across the forest floor, it truly takes you more than a moment to understand what is happening. The harsh light, the foreign heat. This is sunlight.
A pure beam of sunlight that has not disappeared behind the moon yet.
Your delayed reaction finally allows you to search for the entryway and try to scramble towards safety but it’s impossible to see with the brightness of the world turned up to one hundred. Your eyes can’t manage to stay open for more than a second, each time feeling a burning sensation that is unbearable. Soon, though, it seems to be too late as your limbs grow heavy and your skin heats uncomfortably. Even when that last ray of sunshine disappears, your body continues to torment you with a rising heat.
The sensations become too much. The weight of your own head drags you down. The world spins around you in disorienting directions. Only a glimpse of blue skin is caught before you collapse into someone’s arms and the world turns blissfully black again.
“Move before I kick you out.” Mo’at warns, but her tone holds a morsel of sympathy despite the strict instruction.
You are laid out along the mat of her healer’s tent with half the Sully family gathered around. Neteyam can hardly keep his hands off of you, constantly checking to see if you have cooled down yet. Each time renders him disappointed, ears folding back against his head. Mo’at is quickly losing patience as she is constantly swatting the boy away in order to apply the series of healing balms.
“She’s burning up.” He protests, but finally moves out of her way. His idle hands find a new place along his knees where the blunt nails dig into his skin. Kiri and Tuk surround their brother but are careful to not impede too much on his space. His panicked dread rolls off of him in waves, a palpable tension that can be felt by everyone in the tent.
“How long was she exposed?”
“I don’t know. Can’t be more than a few minutes maybe. She was hardly past the entrance when I found her…I….is she going to be ok?” His voice cracks as tears finally well up over his golden orbs. Tuk places her small hand on his shoulder.
“Only the Great Mother knows that.” She pauses, looking up to see her grandson’s crumbling composure. “She is hot. Her temperature needs to drop significantly.”
The message doesn’t seem to settle on Neteyam. His gaze continues to focus on your unconscious face.
“Neteyam.” His head finally snaps up at his grandmother’s stern voice. “Go fetch me cold water from the river.” A basin is handed to the alpha but she can already tell there is reluctance in his expression.
“Now.” It’s harsher than Mo’at would like to be but she knows that getting the concerned alpha outside of the tent is essential for her to complete the healing rituals. His presence is a distraction that has her own emotions tugging her away from the work at hand.
Neteyam purses his lips and sends one last glance towards you. He cradles your cheek and leans down to softly press a kiss to your forehead, whispering promises to return. Then finally, he rushes out of the tent, driven by the given task.
The hours rush and drag simultaneously for Neteyam. It becomes difficult to believe that it has already been a full twenty four hours and yet every minute that your eyes are not open feels like a year to him. Jake recruits Norm and some of the other scientists to take a look at you in the outpost. Moat is naturally displeased by the change at first but even she can’t deny that the old metal portable is a safer place for you to hide from the sun. Thick blankets and rugs are hung over the windows to keep the rays of sunshine out.
Between the expertise of the scientists with their modern technology and the healing powers of Tsahik, things begin to look grim when there is little to no change in your state. Neteyam becomes increasingly more tense with every passing hour that yields no result. At some point his family stops trying to convince him to take breaks. Tuk takes it upon herself to gather and deliver a good serving from the communal fire for her older brother at every meal.
Kiri is constantly teetering between helping her grandmother wrap cooling salves of thick leaves on your skin and foraging through the forest for different materials that could be used to create various healing ointments.
Lo’ak tries to provide his brother with some pleasant company. If not that, then at least an annoying younger brother that can keep his mind off the matter for a few minutes. He tells jokes and shares random stories, usually featuring young alphas and the things their idiotic pride leads them to do. He has a plethora of these events saved up, having been training the new batch of future warriors almost daily. Those stories shift to other couples’ drama and fights when Neteyam laments over the past few weeks, assuring his brother that rough patches are normal in relationships and that perhaps he is not the worst skxawng to be found in the forest.
Jake and Neytiri watch the scene with sorrowful eyes, discussing in the privacy of their home what needs to be done for their son and you.
At hour thirty six, you begin to squirm. Every muscle seems to creek with each movement, seemingly as rusty and worn as the door to the outpost that takes an extra shove to open. It’s the burning heat that you notice next. It seems to travel along your veins and cover you in a suffocating cloud. It brings on feelings of almost claustrophobic symptoms.
Finally, the flutter of your lashes reveal your golden eyes to the synthetic lighting of the outpost makeshift hospital wing. Only one electric light is turned on down the hallway. The rest of the ambience comes from lit candles scattering the surfaces around you. Their flicker is soft and soothing, but it’s the familiar scent of timber and pine that has your muscles finally relaxing.
The surface beneath your head is cool to the touch, you rub your cheek against it.
“Tanhi.”
That soft makeshift pillow is his thigh. Your already burning cheeks seem to reach new levels of inflamed rose color as you drowsily look up at him.
“You’re awake.” His voice is thick with emotion, almost choking the sounds from his throat. On its own volition your hand shakily reaches up to swipe away the tear traveling down his cheek. His skin is cool to the touch, such a different contrast to the usual warmth that you remember radiating off of him in your nights together. Your thin arm shakes from the strain of holding it upwards, he grabs your wrist gently and reluctantly helps you lower it back to your side.
“Yes.” The sound comes out more hoarse and gravelly than you anticipated. You clear your throat before continuing. “How long have I been out?”
“Over a day.”
A few moments of sunlight and suddenly a day and a half has been taken from you. It’s a lot to process, especially with the hazy pounding assaulting your head with every moment. The usual strength and energy in your body seems to have greatly dissipated, leaving you feeling as nothing but a shell of your normal self. Your attempt at sitting up is not only hindered by the strain of your abs but also cut short by Neteyam’s large hands gently pushing you back down.
“No no Tanhi, just rest. Don’t strain yourself.” It’s too easy to settle your head back onto his welcoming lap. A small voice at the back of your head warns you of reversing all the progress that has been made, but it seems insignificant when Neteyam begins to tenderly brush his fingers through your hair. Nothing can take away the ache of your body and heat of your blood boiling but his touch does finally stir your heartbeat into a steady rhythm. It’s as if a weight is lifted off of you as your senses become filled with his essence. Every point of contact between you is like fire and ice. He is the ice that you welcome greatly, the only thing that seems to relieve the burning along your skin.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, eyes almost closed once more.
“Whatever for, love?”
“I don’t mean to trouble you. I should’ve been more diligent, tracking the sun’s cycle..” Your lungs seize into a painful invisible grip, forcing a coughing fit to begin. Neteyam is quick to shush your sentence away and help you get some cool water down. His large hand rests over the heat of your forehead. The eldest Sully frowns down at you, no doubt still feeling the evidence of your raging fever.
“Hush, Tanhi. There’s no place I would rather be right now.”
You watch the shadows dance across lines of his collarbones and sharp features as he prepares another cool wrap to lay across your forehead. The grip you have on conscious thought is weak, but even at your mental peak you are sure that there is nothing more beautiful than the man above you. His harsh and sharp features that frame those kind and insightful eyes. He has an ethereal beauty that has always captured you.
“You’re going to be ok.” It’s unclear whether or not the sentiment is meant for you or rather himself. His hairless brows pinch into those familiar clenched lines. You recognize them from days he would come home to, the evidence of his still racing thoughts clearly etched into his features.
Through the constant ache of your body and heat that tries to lure you to sleep, it takes you a moment to recognize the pheromones drifting off of him. You’re surprised to find that you can still identify the shift of emotions through his essence. Supposedly your sense of smell is better than you thought for a beta. The curling sadness and anxiety that comes off of him in waves, however, is something you wish could not be so easily detected. It is foreign and strange when mixed with his calming perfume. Neteyam isn’t usually one easily frazzled.
Neteyam settles a clear plastic over your mouth and it takes a moment before you recognize it as the Avatar oxygen masks. The air filtered through it is clearer and more readily accepted by your lungs. After a few breaths you nod at him and he pulls it away again.
Silence ensues. You yearn to break it with some semblance of an apology or explanation, but the words never come. Your body has other ideas as it drifts in and out of consciousness. Several times you wake to see another member of the Sully family perched next to Neteyam. However, the oldest Sully child never leaves. The hold you have on time becomes almost nonexistent as you slip back and forth between reality and fever induced dreams.
Eventually you begin to wake periodically in Neteyam’s arms, head laying on his chest or coddled in his lap. Each time you consider saying something, knowing that he is no longer your mate. You have no claim on him and therefore no right to use him in this way, but his skin is cool and calms the sizzling heat upon your own. The very idea of creating distance between you two causes a spike of anxiety to take hold.
It would be all too easy to blame this on your fever and the aid he provides, even in your state of watered down thought you know the truth. There is a yearning to be close to him again. To feel the gentle caresses that line your lips and cheeks as you sleep. To fall into a fantasy where the two of you never split, convincing yourself that today is simply a small sick day where your mate pampers you. The natural instincts of your beta nature furthermore aches for the calming presence of an alpha. Even the simple actions of his rising and falling chest that contains a steady heartbeat lulles your nature into a submissive calm.
It is such a dramatic contrast to the empty abyss that has replaced your heart over the past few weeks. Falling into Neteyam feels natural, as expected as the waves that crash against the shore. It’s an ironic feeling to have considering the most inconvenient and problematic characteristics of your relationship. He was never meant to be yours.
You chant those words in your head, willing them to echo true.
This time, your eyes flutter lazily open to the feeling of his slim tail wrapping itself around your upper thigh. With creaky drowsiness you look up to find him fast asleep, lips parted softly with shallow breaths escaping soundlessly. Sprawled across him, head on his chest, this position resembles that of your usual sleeping position together. Or at least, what it used to be. Before the first cracks of dawn you would slip back into the tent and gently fall into his dozing embrace. It was not uncommon to find his tail slink around one of your limbs possessively all while never stirring from his unconscious state.
Looking around the dingy outpost, it’s just the two of you. The plastic material of the mask around your neck feels uncomfortable around your heated skin. You find a matching one around Neteyam’s own throat. Although showing no signs of struggling breathing, you gently place it against his lips. When the clear oxygen filtered through his lips, Neteyam stirs.
You contemplate faking sleep when his ears twitch and eyes slowly open, but they immediately land on you.
“Yawne.” Neteyam groans, voice thick with sleep. The deep rumble of his morning voice always makes your stomach do somersaults. “How are you feeling, Tanhi?”
His ears pin back when you veer away from his efforts to cup your cheek.
“A bit better.” Your arms tremble as they push against Neteyam pectorals to try and sit up properly. Despite his gentle protests, you finally manage to remain upright for the first time in days. The room spins around you. It’s only by the grace of Neteyam’s hands supporting your back that you remain sitting. “What time is it?”
It feels like night but then again the heavy blankets over the outpost windows would show no indication of broad daylight if present.
“Middle of the night.”
“Then I should go.” Your feet are barely planted on the ground before Neteyam is pulling you back into his arms.
“You don’t really think I’m going to let you out there in this condition, do you?” His chest rumbles with a stern timber, but his hold is tender and gentle. You are tempted to roll your eyes at the protective behavior, but you’re worried that doing so would put the room back into orbit again.
“You need rest.”
“I can rest at home.”
“Like hell you will.” Neteyam scoffs, using another phrase he so commonly picks up from his father. You can practically feel the protective growl that yearns to climb up his throat, but a sigh comes out in its place. “You’re shaking, Tanhi. Let me take care of you.”
His knuckles graze your cheek delicately, sending a cool shiver along your shoulders.
“I don’t think that is a good idea.”
Neteyam’s hand stills before dropping heavily to his lap. The heated breath coming from his lips tickles at the back of your neck. Were it not for your already trembling form you are sure that his presence alone would erupt goosebumps and shivers along your body. The pressing weight of silence is dizzying, tempting you to lay back down. You can practically hear the cogs in his head turning at a rapid pace.
“Please just hear me out for a moment.”
Turning around to face him takes more effort than you would like to admit. Seeing those sad golden eyes without melting takes even more.
“Five minutes is all I ask.” You hesitate, biting your bottom lip. “And if by the end of it you are sick of hearing from me then I promise I will leave you alone. My grandmother will take over caring for you and I will…respect your wishes.” His words are strangled, that suffocating dread pulling his features into a deep frown.
“Ok.”
The shimmer of hope is barely visible in his shining eyes but it still wrenches your heart.
“My entire life has been about being Olo’eyktan. I’ve watched my father lead the people since I could barely walk and since then I have always known that someday that would be me. I wake up every day and the first thought that comes to mind is what needs to be done in order to become the mighty leader that everyone expects me to be. For a long time I’ve thought that my path was already decided by Eywa. Find an omega suitable of being tsahik, settle down with her, and lead till my son can take over. I was ok with that, I’d accepted my fate.” Neteyam shifts to his knees, fingernails digging slightly into his own thighs. Apprehension spoils his scent, creating a new mixture you are unfamiliar with. It’s then that you realize you’ve never seen Neteyam nervous before.
“Then I met you.”
Your eyes dart to the laminate floor.
“I…I’m usually a lot better with words.” He chuckles nervously while rubbing the back of his neck. “It occurred to me recently that I’ve been negligent in our relationship. I never truly explained why I chose you. Why you are the person I can’t live without. Perhaps if I had we wouldn’t be in this situation now.”
“Neteyam it’s not-”
“Please let me finish, Tanhi.”
You nod softly, careful to not increase the already blooming headache pounding at your skull.
“I’ve never met anyone like you.” A weak snort transforms into a cough raking up your throat. “I don’t mean because of ailment, yawne.” He clarifies and you suddenly feel embarrassed for assuming so quickly. Neteyam pauses his little speech to reach behind and once again carefully bring a cup of water to your parched lips. Gratefully, you let the cool substance slink down your throat to soothe the scratchy ache.
Once he seems to be sure that another fit is not about to come on, Neteyam continues.
“You have this unyielding spirit, determined to forage through any storm. Eywa herself puts you in the shadows and you conquer the terrain. The air around you hums with a quiet confidence that is…” He searches for the right word. “Intoxicating.”
A laugh escapes your lips and yet you feel nothing resembling humor. Your hairless eyebrows scrunch in disbelief. Neteyam shows no acknowledgment of your reaction as he instead puts the mask back against your mouth.
“I’ve been drawn to you since that first night hunt. Surely, that isn’t a secret.” He laughs into his own mask that is raised to his lips. If only he knew how oblivious you were to his intentions those first few weeks. “You’re fiercely determined and independent yet hold a gentle empathy and kindness for those around you that I could only ever hope to imitate. And stubborn too.” Neteyam chuckles with a shake of his head. “Fucking stubborn enough to tell a dumb alpha like me off, consequences be damned.”
Your lungs can only manage a simple huffed laugh, but the corners of your lips are already turning upwards subconsciously.
“When I’m around you,” His eyes pierce through you. “I can finally bear that weighted pressure of expectations on my chest. You make it light.” Neteyam leans forward and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your upturned ear. “My little star.”
Your cheeks are damp and it is only then that you realize tears drops have been escaping your eyes. Neteyam thumbs them away with tender care.
“I’ve grown accustomed to sacrificing whatever it takes to become Olo’eyktan. I’ve written my life off as not my own. I’ve given everything I can and could in order to fulfill this role. You are the only thing that I can not sacrifice. And maybe that is selfish of me, but I also know that without you I’m simply a shell of the man I am with you.”
“I could never be Olo’eyktan without you by my side.”
“But how am I supposed to be beside you when I can’t even step a foot into the sun without falling apart at the seams?”
“You truly think that I haven’t thought about that, yawne?” Neteyam’s lips quirk into an amused smile. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you that Lo’ak and I have been building a black out healers tent.” You gape at him. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I suppose I should’ve known better than to think I could pull one over on you.”
It’s foolish, you tell yourself. Another darkened tent doesn’t solve all of the problems. It doesn’t erase the strain this relationship would have on Neteyam or allow you to operate during the daytime hours, unless you are content to remain in the tent for all of your days. And yet, there is a sliver of hope growing in your bosom.
“Nete, I don’t know what to say.” His braids swing over the intense eyes that focus on your every move. He’s tense, ready to jump in at the notice of resistance. “But, I can’t live my life in a dark tent.”
“Of course not. I’m talking about a compromise. Lo’ak, he takes over in the mornings while you and I start the day in the midafternoons. Tsahik duties in the tent for a few hours and then the rest of the night spent together. Leading together. Hunting together.” The dopey grin that spreads upon his lips is fiercely adamant in capturing your heart once more. It takes everything in you to not reach out and pinch the mighty warrior’s cheek. A notion Neteyam is known to reprimand with a playful glare.
“You make it sound so simple.” It’s too much to meet his gaze. You prefer the view of the worn down tiles as you take another calming breath from the mask. The pace of your heart is evermore increasing and part of you wonders if this conversation has the ability to make you faint.
A hand beneath your chin gently prods you to look back up again. He whispers your name, soft but clear in the quiet outpost.
“We have a choice.”
The words weigh heavy in the air, drawing your ears to perk forward in anticipation.
“I know that may sound like a lie to you. However, if there is anyone that understands their life being determined from birth, it’s you. You and I have been pushed and kept into our respective boxes, taught to dream of only the realistic paths ahead of us.”
You wish to say it’s untrue, but any other reality has been stripped away from you from your first breath and morphed into only that of fairy tales.
“We get to choose whether or not we believe that. I’ve accepted my destiny, Tanhi, but I can not bring myself to see my journey walking besides anyone that’s not you. I’ve already chosen. You are what I will not sacrifice.” Neteyam’s calloused fingers weave into your hair, hands on the sides of your head.
“It’s your turn, Tanhi. What do you choose?”
“Is that your definition of fumbling words?” Your chuckle is choked with tears. Neteyam’s short laughter joins your own, his lips already starting to spread into that smile you adore so much.
The past few weeks have been a constant building of that fortress around your heart. You’ve tried to convince yourself over and over again that the two of you parting ways is for the best. These mantras have ripped your heart out and left you in a state of empty sadness, but they also have created a sturdy wall, one that is hard to crumble. Naturally, it is Neteyam that ever stands a chance at breaking through. Sweet Neteyam that knows you so thoroughly that he doesn’t require brute force to get through, he finds a hold from the inside, reading you like a book until there is nothing left for you to hide.
This experience has been a draining uphill battle, but one that you have embarked on because you’ve been convinced that the right thing to do is often the hard thing. However, now, the story shifts. You are left wondering if perhaps this whole time, running away is not the hard thing at all. It’s staying that proves to be the most difficult battle to fight. It’s staying that requires your heart to be opened and at the mercy of failure and disappointment. Leaving Neteyam isn’t the noble cause you once thought it to be.
It’s hiding.
“You really have some nerve calling me stubborn.” You try to joke, but tears are already cascading down your cheeks at an alarming rate and you can tell Neteyam is seconds away from scooping you back into his lap.
“Well I admit being stubborn has its reward sometimes.” He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Perhaps it’s paid off for me this time?”
“Perhaps.” You smile coyly at him. It takes bracing a stabilizing hand against the floor to stop yourself from falling over when you lean forward but it’s worth the exhilarating feeling of his lips against yours once more.
Neteyam is cautious and gentle, moving his lips softly in sync with yours, but you can feel the restraint it takes for him not to swallow you whole. However, you are still healing so Neteyam treats you the way you expect any alpha to: like a delicate flower. Your own tears wet the canvas of both of your cheeks and it takes a moment to realize that small droplets are falling from Neteyam’s eyes too.
The kiss is warm and tender. Relief washes through your body in a wave that makes you realize how much pain you truly were in. How even the very bones in your body finally lose their ache when Neteyam slips an arm around your back to bring you closer.
You’re forced to break the kiss earlier than desired as Neteyam can feel the way your body lags to get air into its lungs. The soft pants that leave your lips are soon encased by the mask that the alpha slips over your mouth once more. The warmth of his gaze beaming down on you spreads across your chest and lights another fire along your skin.
“Come home, Neteyam.” You whisper softly. His forehead leans against your own, those golden orbs still shimmering with unshed tears.
“Always, Tanhi.”
The hours float by in a happily dazed dream afterwards. Neteyam’s touch starved state comes fully into the light as he is constantly keeping a point of contact between you two. It’s obvious that his alpha hindbrain has gone off the wall after being apart for so long and furthermore trying to care for you without going too far. Now that the green light has been given, Neteyam is constantly wrapping his body around your own smaller form till you are almost completely encapsulated by him.
Truthfully, you have no objections. In fact, even your own instincts push you towards readily accepting and initiating any forms of affectionate touch. It further helps that Neteyam’s skin is cool to the touch in comparison to your own raging feverish skin.
Within half a day your wellbeing has greatly increased after the constant nurturing of your overprotective alpha, who seems to be constantly slipping water, food, medicine, or mask given air past your lips. Mo’at is greatly pleased when your temperature begins to return back to its former state and there is a greater strength present in your body. Still, she instructs you to lay low for another day as a precaution.
Neteyam is more than happy to keep you to himself for another day. Watching you come close to the brink of death has his primal urges dialed to eleven. You have to scold him every now and then when his younger brother comes to visit and Neteyam thanks him with an aggressive hiss and tucking you safely into his arms and away from the ‘threat’.
It’s borderline shocking to see his strong reactions considering the severed bond between the two of you. That is, until you find the truth.
“I admit, it might’ve been selfish Tanhi but I couldn’t bring myself to cut our tie before knowing that I had tried everything possible to get you back.”
He had looked up at you with a guilty composure but after everything the two of you had been through you couldn’t hide your relief and joy in finding out that this bond had still survived the heartache. It also provides a greater explanation to your own body's willingness to melt into him with or without a resolution. Now, though, you are content to let him have his fun babying you for one day more and revill in the renewed connection the two of you share.
This time when you awake in the newly hung hammock inside of the outpost (Neteyam had used every angle possible to convince the human scientists to let him temporarily take up the space) you’re surprised to find your mate’s skin hot against your own. His thumping heartbeat rickets in your eardrums but instead of rocking you to sleep, the sound sends shivers down your spine.
Neteyam is blissfully unaware of your consciousness as your own heart starts to speed up. Shifting your leg, it’s a surprise to feel a sticky texture lining the inside of your loincloth. Blood rushes to your cheeks when you realize the source of this substance. Bashfully you’re relieved to see Neteyam is still asleep, allowing your arousal to remain a private humiliation.
With the cautiousness of a sneaking Palulukan, you attempt rolling off of the hammock and out of his arms to take care of your little problem. It’s only halfway rolling over to your side when the Omatikaya prince shifts and spoons you from behind. All plans are immediately thwarted when his muscular thigh slips between your splayed legs innocently. However, the pressure it incidentally puts against your clit brings forth feelings that are anything but innocent.
A veiny forearm easily clamps around your waist to pull you back against his chest. The act rubs his thighs against your clothed folds so suddenly, that it brings a whimpered moan from your lips. Breath hitched in your throat, you wait to see if Neteyam stirs. He shows no sign of waking so you try to scoot your heated core away from his thigh slyly.
Not only are these efforts unrewarded but also bring a tinge of sadness coursing through you. It’s a strange wave of emotion that follows. Arousal quickly windles into full blown desperation within a few heartbeats. The sensations are overpowering, racing through every surface of your body until all that your mind can focus on is the need to be filled by a mate.
Filled by Neteyam.
“Oh Great Mother.” You curse quietly.
Your first heat.
A momentous milestone that your parents have talked to you in great lengths about yet still brings nothing to light on the reality of the experience. You’ve had smaller mini episodes of heat, normal in the beginning of adulthood for Na’vi betas, but it’s only a laughable comparison to the clawing desire taking over your body currently. As a beta you figured that your own heats would be miniscule compared to the laborious heats that plague omegas earlier in their years.
Involuntarily rocking your clothed core against Neteyam’s thigh you now wonder how these Na’vi have ever survived such a demanding lust and lived to tell the tale. And that is what it feels like. Death if not satisfied. Pain if not satiated.
Embarrassment is thrown out the window in favor of creating a pleasurable friction against your clit. Hardly ever having experienced touching yourself on the rare occasion, you have no idea what to do. The corded muscle of his relaxed thigh feels better than your usual small fingerings drumming against the bundle of nerves, so you continue to rock back in a desperate rhythm.
The hammock starts to sway softly with your jutting hips. Some movements are rewarded with a spark of pleasure, only to then be absent on the next rock of your hips. Frustration is quick to brew as you can’t seem to find the right angle and pressure against your core. Shiny slick drenches through the thin fabric and onto the alpha’s thigh. It acts as a lubricant for your journey across his skin, allowing a faster pace to be adopted.
Your pussy clenches around open air, beckoning for a worthy mate to finally fill and claim you properly. It’s an emptiness that you can only compare to the tingling you have experienced after especially long makeout sessions with Neteyam, but it’s worse. So much worse that it brings tears to your eyes. The only relief is found when a lucky thrust finally has the fabric pushed away from your core and lets your small clit peek out and press against his azure skin.
Now without any barriers, pure ecstasy wracks through your body. It only amplifies when the muscles flex slightly beneath you, giving just the right amount of pressure against your clit. A knot forms and tightens in your stomach, quickly winding until it feels as if it’s about to snap. It feels almost dirty to realize that your slick has now coated the entirety of Neteyam’s thigh all while he is sleeping and yet it lures you further into a state of arousal than you have ever been before.
Your own thighs clench harshly around Neteyam’s to trap it against your core. A release clear on the horizon, every effort is put into maintaining that delicious sensation of your clit being assaulted against the muscle. Legs shaking and small squeaks erupting from your throat you chase that feeling relentlessly.
“Cum, Tanhi.”
Neteyam’s raspy voice pushes you over the edge with a shocked gasp. His rumbling growl of satisfaction seems to pulse through you in sync with the overwhelming sensations of an orgasm.
“Good girl.” He praises as your body trembles in the afterglow of release. Neteyam chuckles when a simple flex of his thighs has a whimper spilling your lips. Swirling patterns are drawn by the alpha’s fingers along your sides and arms.
Mental clarity returns in a flash, allowing the reality of the situation to sink in. You hide your heated face against his arm underneath your head while groaning in humiliation.
“Nete.” You whine.
“Hush, baby girl. It’s alright, no reason to get all shy on me now.” He coos while swiping your hair away from your cheek to finally have an unobscured view of your blushing face. “Especially not when you make such pretty noises.”
The words crumble any wall of resistance against the impending heat. Your body yearns for another release, still screaming at you for not being filled with your alpha’s cock yet. A cock that you can feel hardening beneath Neteyam’s loincloth and poking at your lower back.
“Neteyam, it really hurts.”
“I know, Tahini, I know.” He soothes, softly kissing your temple while brushing the strands of hair away. “My poor little star. A bit stronger than you expected, hm?”
When his thigh finally shifts away from your leaking pussy, despite the strength of your clamped legs, a noise of disappointment escapes you.
“So much worse. Neteyam please!” It’s hard to say what you are begging for specifically, but the alpha is quick to calm your worries with sweet nothings. Your limbs kick out and try to wind around any of his, subconsciously finding ways to trap his body closer to yours.
“If you want help, all you have to do is say, yawne. I know how to take care of my girl.” He turns you by the chin to make direct eye contact with him, a silent second measure to make sure this is truly what you desire. Hesitating is far from your mind as you nod and whine out little pleas.
Satisfied with your consent Neteyam grins and begins to descend down your body. Confusion swirls in your eyes when he situates your legs over his shoulders. The sex talk from your parents may not have been that descriptive but you know enough to realize that his cock is nowhere near your drenched entrance.
“How does that…” You trail off, head tilted to the side.
“Just need to get your ready first, Tanhi. Want my baby girl to feel good.” Pointed teeth poke out beneath his lips in his open mouth grin. The pads of his fingers tenderly brush and tease along your outer thighs, slowly making their way to your inner. Tingles of anticipation and pleasure trickle up your body. It boggles you how such a light tracing heightens your lust to new levels.
“How?”
His face softens and Neteyam coos at you while tucking a strand behind your ear.
“Just trust me, little star. I promise you’ll like it.”
So you do, even when his face lowers to your partly clothed mound. Neteyam’s nose presses against your pussy and he sucks in air like a man on the brink of drowning. Your cheeks set aflame at having his face so close to your special place, something you had never considered before. The rumble of power in his hungry growl, however, washes away any insecurity that would plague your mind.
“Smell so delicious, Tanhi.” He purrs.
Neteyam’s creates a path of wet kisses along your inner thighs. Careful grips on your knees allow him to maneuver your legs into whatever profane position he desires, easy access for his eager tongue and lips. His saliva and your slick become intermixed along the expanse of skin as he takes his time warming you up. Each time his lips come closer to your folds, you whimper needily. Heated lust entraps every thought you have, wondering how long it will be until the two of you finally become one.
The first nips at your left inner thigh causes you to jump. His eyes look back up at you as the pointed tips of those canines teasingly scrape against your soft skin.
“Just a little taste, yawne?” He asks, although the smirk along his lips suggests that it is less of a question and rather a warning.
“A bite? T-there?”
Neteyam chuckles at your clueless behavior. It’s been known among Na’vi to leave obvious hickeys and bites along one’s mate’s skin, but you’ve always assumed that to only be in places more visible and less…private. Your tail swishes anxiously as you think of those marks being so close to your heated entrance.
“Yes, baby girl. A little mark to remember me by, hm?”
A simple nod of your head is all the permission required for Neteyam to continue. He takes one last breath from the hanging mask before picking a spot on your inner thigh where the flesh is supple and tender, licking and kissing and the area in preparation. When his lips close around the plush skin and begin to suck, it sends tendrils of electricity straight to your core. Without even thinking you moan and grab at his hair. You’re stuck between the urge to push his head away and encourage him to suck harder.
Once released, the skin is left with a pronounced purple mark. One lick is deposited on the spot before his teeth nip and tug at the skin. You squeal and arch your back dramatically, Neteyam moans darkly he has let it fall from between his teeth and begin to soothe the skin with kisses and licks. The entire act scratches a part of your brain that is primal, satisfied by the apparent claim he leaves for all to see.
“Much better.” His tone drips with pride. “Thank you, Tanhi.” He kisses your knee in gratitude, as if you have given him some sacred gift, and perhaps for him that is true.
It’s only now that it occurs to you how many times Neteyam has held back from staking his claim on you the way most alphas do. You vaguely remember the indented mark of his own teeth against his bottom lip that would draw blood, especially after you have shared an intimate moment or he saw another male eyeing you for too long. What you had originally shrugged off as a habit now transforms in your mind as an act of self control.
Neteyam is quick but deliberate with his handy work of undoing the ties around your tail and hips. He slides the fabric away from your pelvis with an attitude of reverence. Cool air against your slick folds feels like a tickling touch that has your lust spiking dramatically. Burning eyes on your most sensitive area is like gasoline to the flames.
You attempt to clench your thighs together to protect your dignity, but Neteyam hoists them apart and back on his shoulders sternly.
“None of that, baby girl. Let me see how pretty you are.”
And there’s something in that phrase and his undivided attention that makes your toes curl. It becomes blatantly obvious that if he doesn’t hurry up and get on with sticking his cock inside your pussy, you will fall apart at the seams before there is even a chance.
“Neteyam, I’m ready. Please please I’m so ready.” You ramble, willing your legs apart to prepare easier access. Once he is inside everything will be better, although the thought of your virgin walls stretching around him causes a slight tinge of panic to break loose.
“Mawey, my love. It’s about to get good.”
However, frustration and confusion bubble to the surface again when you see his face lowering back down.
“No no, Nete. Enough kisses.” You whine. “I need you inside.”
His brows push up at that, the corners of his lips perking slightly as if hesitant to fully grin.
“Are you sure, my love? We can still wait if you wa-”
“NO! No more waiting! I’m ready now. I need you right now.”
He calls your name softly, but with a hint of unyielding sternness that lets you know it is important you listen. Even a beta can sense when the time to obey is present.
“You’re heat is a very powerful thing but also fleeting, Tanhi. I don’t want you to make such a big decision purely because of your primal instincts.” It’s a respectful and considerate gesture but your head is shaking before he is even close to finishing. If this man does not take you now, you’re ready to flip him over and sit on his member, inexperience be damned.
“It’s not. I’ve been ready for weeks. W-was just waiting to tell you. Take me now, stick it in now.” The ringing in your ears, you realize is actually the accelerated blood thumping along the eardrums from your racing heart. It feels as if the speed will be enough to burst your ribcage open. “I’m ready.”
Neteyam watches as your eyes clench shut and hands scrape against the woven material of the hammock. You’re braced and ready for the pain that will ensue upon penetration.
“Tahni,” Your eyes slowly peek open to see that the alpha hasn’t moved a muscle. “You love me, don’t you?”
The question throws you off guard, but the answer comes easily.
“Of course.”
“And you know that I love you?”
“Yes Neteyam.” Your hips scoot against the fabric, pussy fluttering as it continues to wait for the incoming sensation.
“And you trust me?”
“Always, Nete.”
The alpha hums happily at your response, muttering out a deep ‘good girl’.
“Then I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing, baby girl. Trust that your alpha will take care of you.” He tenderly brushes his fingers over your soft stomach. “And trust me enough to say if or when something doesn’t feel good.”
You nod hazily, keenly aware of the tickling sensation of his touch along your hips.
“That’s my good girl. Now let me get you ready.”
It’s still confusing when you see his head lower towards your navel once more, but you don’t protest this time. He’s right, you do trust him and he does have far more experience with sex than you by far. Your upturned legs are spread even wider by his broad shoulders as he leans closer and lets the tips of his tongue drag over you from belly button to navel. The saliva line goes down further and further until…oh.
It takes his grip on your hips to keep them pressed against the hammock when his tongue brushes over your clit for the first time. It’s a pleasure that is completely foreign to you. Comparable to the spark of dopamine that comes from your small finger teasing the area and yet completely different in intensity. He draws sensual figure eights along the bundle of nerves several times before swooping down to collect more of your arousal between your folds.
Neteyam is calculated with his exploring, performing in the way of someone who has crafted their art. When his tongue just barely swipes across your entrance your hands fly down to grasp his braids again. This time, however, the only thought on your mind is keeping him down there. His flat nose nudges at your clit with every swipe of his tongue along your pussy.
“Oh my Eywa!” You screech as that knot is quickly being tied again in your stomach.
Neteyam on the other hand becomes focused on another knot, tugging at the twine holding your top in place while still working on your pussy with zealous excitement. With your aid, the dangling top is released and falls to the side. His assault on your pussy pauses for him to trail upwards and lick along your quickly hardening peaks.
“So pretty, Tanhi.” He murmurs against your right nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking. Meanwhile his fingers have taken the place of his tongue and expertly rub your clit. “My pretty little star.”
Gleeful pride twinkles in his eyes as he looks up at you, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your chest. Your small hands grapple at any part of him you can reach, finding purchase on his flexed bicep that holds himself over you.
The connecting lines of your thoughts are tangled into a ball of messy hunger and desperation. Never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined such strange things to be so exhilarating. A part of you wonders what else was not included in that sex talk.
His head is found back between your legs again once your nipples are red and pointed proudly. Neteyam licks, nips and sucks at your pussy like a starved man. Every moan of pleasure releases vibrations that sky rockets through you. It becomes too much to handle. You’ve never felt more fragile in your entire life than when his eyes connect with yours, one eye winking at you, and you fall apart.
Neteyam’s moan while licking up the white substance pouring from you goes completely unnoticed as the world around you spins and your ears ring. The gravity of this orgasm shakes you to the bones, floodgates of pleasure completely open in your brain.
Although it feels as if Pandora has slipped out from beneath you, the recovery from this release is swift. Your skin prickles with goosebumps and your pussy hungrily clenches around open air once more. It seems that the monster of a heat inside you grows more insatiable with every second. So when Neteyam covers one finger in the remnants of your juices and starts to prod at your entrance, you’re relieved.
“You’re doing so good, baby girl. This may feel strange at first, but let me know if it hurts too much.” It’s hard to focus on anything else besides the shiny slick that still coats his chin as he looks at you, but you manage a nod.
It does feel strange at first, your walls incredibly tight. Getting down to the first knuckle is easy but going towards the second proves to feel a little more strained. Regardless, you are happy to find that getting one finger inside is nothing near as painful as expected. Neteyam wiggles the digit and it makes you twitch. Such a strange sensation to be filled but, the longer he twists and curls his finger, the more you find yourself enjoying it.
“How does that feel, yawne?”
“F-fine…a little strange.”
Neteyam chuckles.
“I know. My girl’s pretty pussy is so tight.” It’s the pride and adoration in his voice that melts you from the inside out. The muscles of your cunt relax against him as he starts to slide another finger in.
This stretch takes a little more time, effort, and praise from your alpha but otherwise it’s smooth sailing. He scissors and stretches your walls with due diligence, even as the dark pupils of his eyes overtake the gold color. By the third finger, you’re clawing at his braced forearm and begging for his cock. Neteyam doesn’t immediately give in, reminding you of the importance of being stretched out for him. Frustrated by his noble intentions, you aren’t beyond playing dirty.
“Alpha please! Need your cock so bad, it hurts. Feel so empty.” The begging turns into sweet tones of whimpers. You can see the shift of his muscles as they tense. His pheromones take on a stronger hue, one that surrounds you like a cloud. Your small hand reaches down for him, fingers grasping in open air. Neteyam is quick to use the hand not half way up your pussy to hold your own, looking up at you. “You said you’d take care of me, alpha.”
Perhaps in a situation not distorted by desperate lust and the sweet scent of your erotic perfume Neteyam would be tempted to put you over his knees for trying to manipulate him, but the clenching of your velvet walls around his fingers is enough to keep him focused on being balls deep inside of you instead. You can see the moment that his resolve crumbles to ashes, it’s accentuated by a deep growl and narrowed eyes.
You watch with hungry eyes as Neteyam hastily claws at the strings of his loincloth. It’s a wonder that it doesn’t rip underneath his harsh fingers but it finally falls away and your pupils dilate at the sight. His length stands heavily against his stomach, curving slightly under its own weight. Saliva gathers in your mouth as you observe the freckled stars that glow under the dim light of the room and scatter over his shaft till reaching the tip. A bead of precum is settled there and for the first time, you understand the desire to put your mouth in such sinful places.
Neteyam preens under your awed attention, his hindbrain purring in delight at seeing his little mate impressed with what he has to offer. His grin widens when he notices your hand hesitantly reaching towards it. You stop, however, before getting to touch.
“It’s ok, Tanhi. You can touch.” The three fingers leave your entrance with a squelching sound. Neteyam confidently keeps eye contact while licking the digits clean with a soft purr, then that large hand is wrapping around your own and leading you towards his twitching member.
Even with Neteyam’s guidance, you’re unable to wrap the entirety of his width in your grip, but he doesn’t appear to be bothered by it. In fact, a devious spark lights in his smile as he watches you struggle to hold it. Although, you will probably never admit it outside of heat, you too enjoy the dramatic size difference between the two of you. On more than one occasion you have let your arousal ruin your loincloth just from having his large body completely wrapped around your own, tucking you away so easily.
A small gasp leaves your throat when his cock twitches in your hand. Neteyam can’t keep his cooing laughter in as he pets affectionately at your hair. He pauses to take a breath from the mask while still smirking.
“You see what you do to me, baby girl?”
The taste of iron erupts in your mouth and it is only then that you realize you’ve been crushing your bottom lips between sharp teeth.
“Is it…uncomfortable?” It feels silly to be so bashful after having his lips along your pussy moments earlier, but you can’t help but keep your voice down to a whisper. You thank the Great Mother for the privacy that the scientists have allowed the two of you over the past few days. There would be no recovery for your dignity if they were to walk in on this scene. Heat or not, being whiny and oblivious is embarrassing.
“Hm, sometimes my love. If relief is not given.” He guides your thumb to run over the head. “Mostly it gets my thoughts traveling to tempting places. Imagining all the different ways I can have you laid out for me.” The weight of your eyelids seem to increase with every word he speaks. His other hand running up and down your inner thigh only adds to the lust filled daze that has captured you.
“Wondering what you would taste like.” Being the cheeky alpha that he is, Neteyam doesn’t let the opportunity pass by without reaching a few digits down to his soaked thigh and swirling the substance between his fingers. He simultaneously continues to help you jerk his thick member slowly while sticking the dripping fingers into his mouth profanely.
“My imagination, however, doesn’t do it justice.” He hums with delight, his pink tongue swiping over his bottom lip to collect any escaping juices. “My thoughts are merely a facade in comparison to the real thing. They can’t do you justice.”
You subconsciously tighten your grip around him at the words, causing a low groan to rumble from his chest. Another trickle of slick coats your entrance. You’re in absolute awe at your body's ability to get close to cumming just from the dark noises and words that spill from your mate’s lips. Not to mention the twitching weight of his cock restrained in your hand.
“Then stop imagining and come here.” You leap forward and capture his lips with your own. Neteyam’s hum of surprise morphs into a viscous growl as your tongues fight for dominance. The little gasps and groans that slip into the kiss as you pump his cock is electrifying. It’s borderline addicting to see that way the mighty Omatikaya Prince bucks his hips for you. A sense of power to know that you can get him melting like this.
Never breaking the kiss, Neteyam shuffles your body forward and the two of you start to guide his cock towards your fluttering pussy. All forms of trepidation are gone. Your body screams from every pore that you can take it. You trust these instincts as the thick head of his member prods at your entrance.
Your lips part against his mouth in a gasp when the head slips past your entrance. Slick walls stretch in ways that you couldn’t have imagined and it feels as if you are about to be split in half. Neteyam continues to kiss and nip at your lips gleefully while carefully continuing to guide himself in inch by inch.
“You’re being such a good girl for me.” He coos as your eyes scrunch shut tightly. It feels as if the length will never stop, as if he is about to reach your chest from the inside, but Neteyam is patient. He takes his sweet time checking up on you with every inch and soaking his tone and words with constant praises. It does this trick, scratching at that primal desire to please your alpha.
When his balls finally meet the curve of your ass, little whimpers rain from you consistently.
“N-nete, so b-big.” You cry, forehead touching his own as you struggle to take in ragged breaths. He forces you to take a breath from the mask hanging from his neck.
“I know, baby. So perfect and tight around me.” His own voice shakes slightly. “God damn!” The english phrase sounds like gibberish to your ears but you understand the sentiment nonetheless.
Settled there to let you adjust, your head lolls to his shoulder. When his cock twitches, you clamp your teeth down on his exposed shoulder to stabilize yourself. Neteyam encourages the oral fixation through hissed words of praise. Tears spill from your eyes but it’s hard to say what the source of your crying is. The stretch is uncomfortable but you can’t deny the certain tinge of pleasure that courses through you when a slight shift reminds you of how full your pussy is. Eventually, your heat takes the edge off, rewarding your ability to secure a mate with a pulsing clit and dripping entrance.
It takes a moment to realize that Neteyam is calling your name, you eventually snap out of it when his lips murmur it straight into your flicking ears.
“Hand me your kuru, baby.” Your hands obey on their own accord. “Want you to understand how good you feel, Tanhi. How happy you make me.”
When those dancing tendrils wrap securely around one another, your eyes go from sleepy slits to dilated pupils of awe. It never becomes old being able to feel Neteyam so closely. To feel his breath and strength. To have his own emotions coalesce with yours. A vulnerable certainty of how he is feeling. In this state, neither of you can hide. There is no deceit. There are no polite formalities. You both have direct access to the other’s soul.
This time, a new current of sensation travels through the bond. It sparks into growing forms of ecstasy that makes you groan. It’s a strange thing to accept, but you can feel your own tights walls secured around him. Hugging him so tightly in the warmth of your cunt, velvety texture caressing him with every shift. Underneath that pleasure also grows an unyielding lust that pricks at his self control with every passing second. His hindbrain is screaming at him to move. To claim. To fill your womb with his seed until it drips out from you.
It’s better than if the words had come from his own lips. It sets you into a feral need to complete these fantasies.
“Can you feel me, baby girl?” His arms are securely wrapped around your middle to keep you tight against him.
“Yes Nete, feel all of you. Need all of you. W-want you to move.” The ability to form coherent sentences starts to slip between your fingers. Neteyam, however, requires no further instruction. Your back hits the hammock once more as his strong grip clasps around the soft flesh of your hips. The mask is settled over your lips by the alpha before he continues.
Slowly, but surely, he draws out with smooth and continuous thrusts. Your cunt clenches around him almost painfully, as if to keep him locked there. Once the tip is just barely past your entrance he starts to slide back in smoothly. The prolonged thrusts eventually angle in a way that hits a bundle of nerves inside you that has never been explored by you before. Neteyam moans in sync with you as he can feel your own pleasure every time the head of his cock rubs at the rosy spot.
It spurs him forward. You don’t have to explicitly tell him to go faster because he can feel it straight through the bond. It allows you to focus the energy you have left on gripping his shoulders for dear life. A brutal rhythm begins to take place, your legs wrapped around his waist.
“Oh Eywa!” You screech. The obscene noises of skin slapping fills the room along with Neteyam’s loosed growls and grunts.
“That’s not my name, Tanhi.” The alpha teases, but you can feel the aching desire he has to hear his own name upon your lips. To have the auditory satisfaction of knowing he is pleasing his little mate.
“N-neteyam oh haa Nete!”
His precision at hitting your g spot increases. Neteyam learns your body with an impressive speed. One hand comes up to palm and tease your breasts in his large hand. His eyes switching back and forth between watching his cock disappear inside of you and marveling at the nipple hardening between his pinched fingers.
Everything starts to become a blur for you. The origins of sounds are unknown. Several times you are surprised to find that the high pitched screams are coming from your own throat. Your body shakes and trembles as if it is about to shatter into a million pieces. And that is what you come to truly believe as it overwhelms your senses. It is so consuming and new that you start to sputter little pleas of mercy to your mate, convinced that you truly will die from this overload of sensations.
“It’s alright, Tanhi. You’re alright. Just let go for me. Let it all go.”
Your hair tangles in the woven material of the hammock as you shake your head. Neteyam thrusts become ragged and less coordinated but he slips a hand down to fondle at your clit. You scream and arch, cumming harder than ever before. Neteyam is less than a second behind you, feeling the effects of your orgasm through the bond. Warm ropes of seeds paint your inner walls.
The first normal sense that comes to you is the feeling of Neteyam’s heavy and warm body collapsed on top of yours. Heated breath tickles at your neck, intermittent with sweet kisses and nonsense murmurs. You let yourself bask in the afterglow. Your body is sore and motionless, but luckily Neteyam takes over. Only a tiny sound comes from you when he slips out.
“Come here, tanhi.” Your boneless body is pulled to lay on top of him. Soothing affection swims across the bond when you nuzzle your face against his chest. The swing of the hammock and rhythm of his heartbeat is quickly luring you to sleep.
Neteyam grabs your hand and kisses it sweetly. You can vaguely make out the sound of his voice, but the words are like garbled noises which never compute in your brain. It’s hard to say whether or not it’s english or if you just can’t understand simple words now in your fucked out state. Still, you like the way it makes his chest rumble.
“Neteyam.” The rumble stops, tail flickering as he waits patiently.
“I see you.” Your words are barely more than a whisper in the stuffy room but they ring true. He gently places the breathing mask over your lips again before your eyes close.
“You’re all I see, little star.”
Taglist @yurmomsawh0r @nilahsstuff @name-saken @luvv4j4ybe11 @stylishtoast @karateperson @henhouse-horrors @easy2004 @whisperingwillow0854 @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @neteyamtesuli
#withered#neteyam x reader#alpha neteyam x beta reader#alpha neteyam#fem reader#neteyam fanfiction#neteyam smut#neteyam angst#neteyam fluff#neteyam sully#neteyam sully x reader#neteyam x na'vi reader#protective neteyam#possessive neteyam#omegaverse#avatar wow#avatar smut#avatar fanfiction#avatar#avatar wow neteyam#angst#fluff#smut#dad jake sully#mom neytiri#cute tuk#kiri sully#lo'ak sully
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Interesting facts/possible mistranslation in Japanese translation of Sherlock Holmes
I thought people might be thinking I started my Sherlock Holmes journey by bbc or s&co and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I wanted to clarify that I’ve been Sherlokian since my mom bought me the adventure of Sherlock Holmes in 1st grade and I love the canon the most. Though I don’t really read it in Japanese anymore, I wanted to show my love for the translators and just everyone who made it possible for me to enjoy SH without having to learn English as a child.
Names Changes - The name Sherlock Holmes and John Watson once got translated/adapted to 小室泰六 (Komuro Tairoku) and 和田進一 (Wada Shinichi) because people in Japan at that time weren’t familiar with European names. I find this really fun and actually impressive because the names do fit their criteria; Komuro has that royal feel Holmes has and Shinichi is just one of the most common name in Japan like John.
First person pronouns - In Japanese there are many first person pronouns (I, my, me) to the point linguists don’t even know how many there are but main one being 俺 (ore) and 僕 (boku) for men and 私 (watashi) for women and men in formal occasions. So, deciding which first person pronouns characters use is one of the first yet important part of translation. Holmes in most translations use boku which is typical but has that upper class atmosphere when used by an adult which I think fits his personality and background. But one of the translations I read used watashi when he’s talking about his deduction and I feel like it shows how serious he takes his cases as it is almost solely used by men in professional settings. And also it sort of distances the speaker from the rest, meaning he is in his own world when deducing but he’s willing to interact with others when not in case.
Surname? First name? - in most translations, Holmes and Watson call each other by their surnames like in ACD writing but in one of the translations I’ve read put 君 (kun) after their surnames. It is used to show politeness but also affection in old times. I personally love this addition because calling each other by their surnames in Japanese don’t feel the same as it does in English. It feels too distant, not in Victorian men in way but just plain strangers feel. But then First names are too intimate so putting kun just feels right.
The speckled band - ACD played with a word band in this story but in Japanese it is straight up impossible to do so because we don’t have a word like that so what do they do? As shown below, they put extra words on top of words. (Characters on top (バンド) literally reads bando meaning band and characters below (紐 and 群) mean a string and a group so they both mean band) It is commonly done in literature to either suggest double meaning or just an indication of how to read certain Chinese characters because the characters on top are phonogram unlike Chinese characters. Having three alphabets in one language enables us to have that double meaning in other languages.
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Possible misinterpretation of the situation - In “A Case of Identity”, Holmes expresses a deep angst towards Windibank by saying “But between ourselves, Windibank, it was as cruel and selfish and heartless a trick in a petty way as ever came before me.” Up until this point, Holmes called him Mr Windibank but he drops the Mr. However, for some reason some translations keep the Japanese equivalent of Mr (さん) , but then he takes out his whip after this conversation. I just don’t think it was a civil conversation that Japanese translators wanted to write as. I think Japanese translators just wanted to write Holmes as an always-calm-man but he is a passionate man when he needs to be.
Possible Mistranslation - From “A Scandal in Bohemia”, Watson talks about what the woman is to Holmes by writing “In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex.” In rather recently published translation, it gets translated to something like “From Holmes’ perspective, she surpasses all other women and makes their presence fade into the background.” Which i don’t think accurately expresses his view on her and women in general. But this might differ from other people’s opinions.
As time passes and many variations get published, translation gets more natural but sometimes they lose the atmosphere of the canon. So I love going back to reading all the versions I can read.
Hope you enjoyed this post! I have A LOT like this in my draft because I’m a language nerd in STEM that can’t find anyone to talk about this with. Also please let me know if you know any fun facts from your language’s translation:)
#sherlock holmes#acd watson#acd holmes#acd canon#acd Sherlock Holmes#acd John Watson#translation#japanese#Japanese Sherlock Holmes#linguistics#language#lost in translation
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TSAMS, EAPS EPISODE REVIEW! 👏 👏 👏
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... I didn't know who MUCH I needed this piece of art in my life till now! Kiwi THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THIS! This is gonna be my banner for a bit. Okay, onto the actual review. We finally got some Sun and Solar bonding moments, and I'm happy about that. I noticed a lot of people mentioned that Sun and Solar didn't really hang out a lot, and I thought "No they have to have hanged out like this before?" Well, color me surprised they didn't really hang out a lot. So, I'm glad we got an episode with just them bonding. Jack has become a stinkin' criminal. He stole a bugatti! Do you know how expensive that car is?! (Seriously, do you cause I don't.) Solar, you might want to do some reprogramming or teach Jack morals cause at this rate he'll steal the declaration of Independence! Move over, Nick Cage!
Solar is still wrapping his head around the new moon/Nexus situation, and I don't blame him. Imagine waking up from being dead only to discover your best friend/brother/cousin has become dangerously unstable and tried to kill one of your family members. Ya, you'd need a few days to process all that, too. But I'm glad Solar has Sun and the others to lean on. I am still very worried about what will happen when Solar and Nexus meet again. Pray for him y'all.
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First gaming video of the Eclipse and Puppet show! Yay! 👏 👏 👏 👏 @damien-candle did an amazing job on everyone. I love how they draw Foxy with his little scruff, and Earth just looks adorable as always. Okay, now, spoiler alert in 3..2..1
Foxy loses... as usual.
That's not much of a surprise, but what is a surprise is EARTH IS HERE! She popped by for a visit. I hope we get an episode where she explores this universe with Eclipse and Puppet. That would be fun. Eclipse is surprisingly good at Game of life. Maybe it's just luck, but my headcanon us he's just a master of all board games!
Amazing episodes today from everyone! 👏 👏
11/10 👏
I need more Marvel x TSBS art in my life.
#sun and moon show#tsams#eclipse and puppet show#eaps#tsams sun#tsams solar#tsams jack#Sunpool#Solverine#Sunpool and Solverine#Jackgambit#jack as gambit actually makes a lot of sense cause a Jack is a type of card! How am I now realizing that?!#Eclipse is king of all boardgames!#Earth's here! 😃 yay!#Foxy still fails at the game of life no matter what universe he's in 🤣#the thumbnail artist did a great job today 👏 👍#I need more Tsbs x marvel fanart#I need more Tsams x marvel fanart!#eaps eclipse#eaps puppet#eaps foxy#laes earth#mgafs foxy#mgafs puppet#tsams eclipse
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I wanna talk about Puppet and Eclispe’s abusive friendship because it IS abusive.
These two hot messes trigger watchers defence mechanisms constantly.
Let take their main unhealthy coping strategies shall we.
Eclipse:
Self-isolation (both physically removing himself from people, relationships and situations as well as emotional removing himself from a situation)
Defensiveness (being a dickhead so he can either get more control over a situation usually in the form of makings people uncomfortable or self-conscious.
Puppet:
Self-deprecation (talking bad about herself to elicit sympathy from others so she doesn’t have to address the issue at hand and can make others do it for her)
Saviour complex which she uses Manipulation tactics to get what she wants.
They get each other stuck in negative loops a LOT. In practically every episode Eclipse Isolates himself which triggers puppets saviour complex so she uses manipulation usually glass lighting and guilt ripping with a slide of humiliation. This triggers Eclipses defensiveness which then triggers Puppers self-deprecation which makes Eclipse to feel bad so he get even more defensive and the loop continues.
Another example is from the resent episode:
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Puppet’s self-depreciation, suicidal thoughts and her phrasing mades Eclipse’s feel guilty and took him by surprise which triggered Eclispe’s defensiveness. Eclipse being rude to her then triggers her more which triggers eclipse more and we’re in a loop.
Their a mess your honour and I love it. Suck amazing writing I’m obsessed. <3
#eaps#eclipse and puppet show#eaps puppet#eaps eclipse#their unhealthy relationship#these bitches so messy man#trauma 😨#made this at 20 to 4 sorry if it’s messy I’m falling asleep but this won’t leave my mind
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