#I have to tell my mom something that’s probably going to make her mad and disappointed

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[left-myself-in-the-alleyway]

I feel so physically ill with anxiety right now I can hardly think

[fingertipsmp3]

Just sitting here eating breadsticks in the calm before the storm tbh

[luveline]

Hey!! I love love LOVE your criminal minds content so much, especially the Hotch with unexpected daughter reader. Is there any chance you’re gonna write more for that series? I’d literally take anything, the comfort vibes are off the charts with your works and I need some Hotch comfort. But no worries if not, hope you have a great week <33

thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k

Jack peers at you from over the furthest armrest. “Y/N. Are you grumpy?” 

“Do I look grumpy?” you ask. 

“Yes.” He pokes his eyebrow. “You do.” 

“My face is betraying me then, because I’m not grumpy.” 

“Mine does that to me all the time but mom doesn’t believe it.”

You give him a small nudge. “Your mommy probably knows you better than you know yourself, like, knows how you’re feeling before you do.” 

“But how does she know?”

“I think it’s because she loves you. She really loves you, babe. You’re lucky.” 

“So lucky.” He climbs over the armrest and onto the couch, smiling at you politely, like a friend he’s just found at school. 

You try to see the similarities in your faces. He looks more like Haley than he does Aaron. You look more like your mother, too. There are bits of Aaron in both of you, yours not quite as physical —Jack’s tame when it comes to expressing emotion, and you both talk in a measured tone. (Though your tone is coincidence or genetics, but not learned. You’d have to have known him growing up for it to be learned.) 

“Did dad tell you what mommy said?” Jack asks. 

You glance over his head but see no one. Aaron said he was going to get chips for movie night, and Haley tends to find things to do. “No.” 

“It’s a secret.” 

“Well, you don’t have to tell me.” 

“You can’t tell anyone,” he says. 

Your stomach feels not your own. “I won’t,” you promise. 

“Mommy says you’re here too much.” 

You nod slowly. Jack frowns at you as though waiting for you to be upset, but you’ve suspected she thinks so for a while. It’s not something you blame her for. 

Jack watches you. 

“Dad got really mad.”

“I’m sorry, Jack. That must’ve been scary.” 

Jack drops his face into your arm. “No. Dad doesn’t yell. But he slept in my room with me.” 

“Want a hug?” you whisper. 

Jack squirms under your arm. You pull him toward you and try to divide your feelings into boxes. Embarrassed and horrified and a little annoyed that Haley thinks you’re here too much. Sad and again embarrassed that Aaron defended you. 

This is Haley’s house, and she never signed up for you. She’s never made you feel unwelcome but that doesn’t mean she wants to see you every Saturday. You're a huge new wedge inserted in their married lives, and now you’re affecting Jack, making his parents argue.  

“I’m sorry,” you say, suddenly flooded by a wave of hot, awkward regret. 

You knew when you found out that Aaron was your father that you would change his life. You’ve always hoped it would be for the better, but maybe it isn’t. 

“Jack…” you say. What is it about hugging him that makes you feel like crying? “I’m real sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” 

“It’s not your fault. I like you here. You’re fun.” 

“Thanks, Jack.” 

He looks up at you. “Will you stop coming over?” 

“I guess it’s up to your mommy.” You falter. “Jack?”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry if having a new sister isn’t as fun as you thought it would be. I don’t want to make things harder for you, but I guess I did.” 

“Mom says everything is hard now.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek in efforts to hide how you’re feeling. “I’m sorry. Um, listen, can I have a big hug? I just remembered I have to go help my mom at home.”

“You’re leaving?” 

“Sorry, Jack.” 

Jack gives you a hug. You gather your things and rush to the door to shove your shoes on, but your dad catches you before you can leave. 

“Where are you going?” Aaron asks, his smile falling.

“I–” He makes you nervous, and you know your stammer gives you away. “I forgot I had to do the laundry for my mom tonight, if I don’t do it she’ll be mad for days.” 

“I’m sure you can make it up to her tomorrow,” he suggests gently.

“I better go.”

“Honey, what’s really going on?”

“The laundry is really going on,” you say, unconvincing. “I have to go, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Well, I’ll see you on–”

You open the door before he can finish or offer a hug, image of him in his loose t-shirt carrying a tray of sandwiches burned into your guilty conscience. 

—

You don’t see Aaron for three weeks before he corners you. You owe your great avoidance to his busy job, but it didn’t feel good to reject him, to refuse to make time for him as he does for you. 

“You!” he says, clearly kidding but not entirely where he’s waiting outside of your university building. “Beautiful young woman in the blue! I have some questions for you.” 

It’s so absurd for him that you immediately burst into shy laughter. “Dad, what?” you ask, hiding your face. 

Classmates part around you, seemingly unperturbed. 

Aaron retrieves his badge. “See this? I could detain you, but I won’t if you come quietly. In fact, if you don’t argue I’ll buy you lunch.” 

“You’d buy my lunch regardless.” 

He grabs you. Kindly, but grabbing all the same, like he’s worried you’re about to scarper. “Where have you been hiding?” he asks, giving you a quick hug. You feel tenseness in his arms you're unused to, hear a sadness in his voice that makes your throat burn. 

Putting a table between you helps marginally. Aaron pretends he doesn’t know why you’ve been avoiding him and the Hotchner house, and you’re more than happy to go along with it, until. 

“I have something to tell you,” he says. 

You press against a piece of soaked fruit with your spoon. “Okay.” 

“Haley and I are probably going to separate.” 

You bite your tongue so hard it makes you flinch, spoon scratching the bottom of your bowl. “What?” 

“We’ve been having problems ever since Jack was born.” 

You stare. 

Aaron is very still. He talks carefully. Not without emotion, but stilted, perhaps. “I’m not as good a father as I wish I were. And Haley sees that. Sweetheart, I haven’t ever wanted to burden you with the, uh, less than happy details of my life. I think you’ve suffered me enough. But I’m telling you because I know Jack told you about my most recent argument with Haley.” He smiles at you. “Honey, we fight too much. That day, it was about you, but it’s not all about you, and she doesn’t… Haley’s a good woman. She is. I’ve changed her life a hundred different ways and she hasn’t had many choices, and she…” Something vulnerable crops up, a wavering in his breath. “Sometimes I think she isn’t fair. She holds me to standards I can’t reach, no matter how hard I try, but we’ve stopped arguing about it so much recently, and I’m afraid that that’s… the death knell.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say softly. 

“I’m going to keep trying. I don’t want to lose her.” He drinks what’s left of his soda and presses his napkin under the edge of his plate. “But I won’t lose you, you know? I just want you to understand that you’re not the problem, and you never could be.” 

“I don’t want to add another thing to your levy, dad,” you say, still soft. 

“Meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, tied with your brother, of course. You aren’t a thing to be added to anything, you’re my daughter, and Haley might not like it but my home will always have a place for you.” 

What if that’s the problem? From his perspective, you’re not a hindrance to his marriage so much as a separate issue, but from your own, it sounds like you’re just making things worse. 

You’ve missed him, though, and you can’t argue that his reassurances aren’t working. 

“It’s not that Haley doesn’t like you,” he adds, reaching for your hand, “more that she’s unhappy. I’m sorry that that’s something you had to carry.” 

You often think to yourself that Aaron talks like he’s telling a story. He’s so calm and steady, the same as the feeling of his thumb on your wrist. 

“I’m sorry I stormed out.” 

“I wouldn’t call that storming out,” he says. “You’re too quiet sometimes. I wish you’d be upset out loud.” 

“I just don’t want you to fight about me.” 

“Honey,” —he holds your eyes, giving your wrist a gentle squeeze— “I’m always gonna fight for you. That’s what fathers do.”

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

"Hello." A dull thwack sound reverberated across the rooftop, leaving the boy who snuck up on Red Robin clutching his head. The boy, a meta if the large animal ears and tail were anything to go by, shook off the pain and pouted up at him, "What was that for?!"

The vigilante was unrepentant, holding his bo staff in a ready position, "You snuck up behind a vigilante at night. In Gotham."

"Okay," the meta conceded, still pouting. "You have a point there. Robin threw ninja stars at me when I tried to approach Batman."

That got Tims attention, "You tried to approach Batman? Was there something you needed?"

The kid suddenly got serious, "My mom went missing. I haven't been able to contact her for almost two weeks now."

Red pulled his arm closer to his face before he began typing on his wrist computer, "Can you tell me her name and date of birth?"

"Um." The other teen fidgetted with his tail a bit, "Okay, so...she's kinda Cheetah."

"...come again?"

"She's Cheetah. The...the supervillian."

Red Robin stared at him, and honestly who could blame him? The bats hadn't even known Cheetah had a son. "So why are you in Gotham? Why not ask Wonder Woman for help? Cheetahs one of her rogues not ours."

The teen shook his head, "She went to meet someone in Gotham before she disappeared. She seemed really agitated before she left, almost scared. I've never seen her like that before." He paused, giving the vigilante time to type before continuing, "I didn't go Wonder Woman since I figured I would wind up needing to talk to a bat anyway since its your turf and all." He said, waving a hand as if gesturing to the city around them.

"I wasn't aware Cheetah had a kid."

The meta grimaced, "she didn't until a year ago."

Red gave him a look, as if urging him to go on.

The meta chuffed, sounding a lot like whatever big cat he was supposed to be, "I'll only tell you my tragic backstory if you promise to help me find my mom."

"I'll find your mom." The bird said without an ounce of hesitation. Tim was a little offended. Did this guy think he was going to leave his mom in danger just because she was a criminal? Appearently so, seeing as the teen looked so relieved at his words.

"Okay, so my bio parents were evil mad scientists. Always a bad start, anyway they were obsessed with the occult and one day they suddenly took me and my sister to Brazil to hunt for some artifact of another. That alone was strange but weirder still was the fact my creepy godfather was paying for it all. He usually only does something like that when he's plotting "

"Plotting?" The detective interjected, "you make it sound like he does that often."

"Yeah. Hes a supervillian." The meta said casually, as if he didn't just leave Tim reeling, but the kid wasn't done yet, "He's had a massive crush on my bio mom since collage and never let it go no matter how many times she rejected him. She even married my dad, his best friend, and this dude just kept simping for 20 years." The teen rolled his eyes, "Hes convinced himself that if he murders my bio dad then my bio mom will fall in love with him and me and jazz will be "his"." He said that last part with fingerqoutes and a disgusted expression.

Tim filed that away for later, "Can I have his name, if nothing else?"

The teen seemed reluctant for a moment, "You're the worlds greatest detectives. You'll find out even if i try to hide it. Besides, I'd probably be better off if you and the Justice League know everything anyway."

Tim was...surprised by that. Most people usually weren't this open with them.

"His name is Vlad Masters, he also goes by Plasmius when he's dressed like a wannabe vampire. He's a ghost who's repossessed his corpse. My parents are Jack and Maddie Fenton, who are obsessed with ghosts and have convinced themselves that all ghosts are evil and must be destroyed, regardless of how much evidence points to them being wrong."

"And your name?"

The meta grinned at him, showing off four very sharp fangs, reminiscent of the large cat he takes after, "You can call me Jaguar. We were exploring a bit when I broke off from my family and got jumped by one of them. Suddenly I was struck by a claw and turned into furry bait. Fluffy stopped trying to make me his lunch and just stared at me before walking away, which was wierd. Then my parents found me, accused me of being a ghost, because thats naturally what someone would assume when thier son sprouts cat ears," he said while rolling his eyes.

"Naturally." Red joked, which had the benefit of making Jaguar smile.

"So my parents chased me through the jungle, shooting all the while, then suddenly a portal opened up in front of me. I'm not stupid, I know there was no way this wasn't a trap. I mean, a portal opening up right after that bizarre series of events and its the same shade of glowing green as the wierd death go my parents are obsessed with? There's no way they weren't related somhow, but I was desperate and jumped through anyway."

"I landed in another jungle, or the same one in a different location, I'm not sure. I tried hunting and foraging but wasn't very successful at either." Danny still remembered the throbbed in his head when he had headbutt that tree after missing his pounce on that pig he had been stalking. "Thats when Cheetah found me. She took me in and taught me to hunt and fight."

-----

Possible plot twists:

1. Danny isnt Phantom in this au

2. Danny is Phantom in this au but is trying to leave that life behind

3. My favorite. Danny has the ability to manipulate and control animals into doing his bidding with the effect of jaguars and other big cats being the most prevalent and he just doesn't realize it.

One of Cheetahs friends/allies realizes cheetah has changed and suspected something and convinced her to leave for a while to see if her care for this kid faded after a while away from his presence. It works and Danny loses another parental figure/possibly attacked by them too.

[grimm-writings]

Hiiii, I would like some Dungeon Meshi headcanons please! Reader is the oldest human in the main group and they're really motherly towards them. Like they're always fretting over their well beings and acting like a doting parent. And if you want, could you also add that Chilchuck's kinda into that so he falls for them?

That's all thank you!

…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader, platonic touden party & reader

…tags! fluff, some crack, headcanon format, mild manga spoilers, reader is referred to as ‘mom’ once

…wc! 847

…notes! the way i nearly screeched in delight when i got this ask. chilfuckers i’m one of you let me in. you used they/them for the reader so i’m gonna assume this is a maternal gn reader! i hope it is for your liking ty for being my first request 🥺

Having a more wise, of age individual in the party is always a plus when you need some advice.

And when most people in the party are absolute lunatics.

You have your hands full trying to stop Laios acting recklessly in action, or doting on Marcille when her emotions get the best of her.  Goodness, even Senshi has your hair going grey from how he gets sometimes!

Laios just sort of… lets your doting happen.

He can get slightly grumbly if you get too mad at him.  Still, it’s not the worst thing a parental figure could do.  Go easy on him!

Marcille takes psychic damage upon learning your age.  She’s staring at you, at the age in your face, and taking the years into account.

It’s simply not computing.  You… You should be, like, a pre-teen or something!  Human ageing baffles her once again.

Still… she is incredibly receptive to you doting on her.  She’s more of a carer on instinct but she finds herself falling into you whenever her spoons are low.

Senshi just sort of hits you with the “why tho” when you try fretting.  It’s actually slightly frustrating.  Still, you can recognise his wisdom and take a step back.  He can take care of himself… most of the time.

Izutsumi… oh the dear girl.

You must have recognised the signs immediately.  Her lack of table manners, her reclusive nature… she’s so young.

The girlcat was a bit prickly to any doting at first.  You would probably remind her a bit too much of Maizuru for her liking.

With time, perhaps sometime after he run-in with her succubus, Izutsumi would be a bit more welcoming of how you treat her.  It’s… It makes her feel nice, or whatever.

She accidentally calls you Mom once.  She was mortified as Marcille squeals in delight and Laios laughs to himself.  You couldn’t even ask if she thinks of you as a mother figure before she’s already stomping away to hide in a corner somewhere.

Then there’s Chilchuck.  Oh, what to say about him.

You probably thought he was a young human at first too.  He’s taller than other half-foots after all.  Still, as soon as you even try to act maternal around him, he yells at you and tells you he isn’t a kid.

Keep your distance for a bit, and he’ll warm up to you again.

Watching you do your thing with the other party members will have him commenting that he has no idea how you can just keep up with everyone like this, and he’s the one with three kids here.

You just smile gently and reply that it helps you keep stability knowing everyone in the party is doing alright.  At that, Chilchuck will give you a glance, and internalise your words.

Upon Izutsumi’s arrival into the party, Chilchuck’s perspective on you begins to alter slightly.

Initially, he respected you a fair bit.  You were more like the two older co-workers constantly giving each other looks at the younger ones’ antics.

But he sees you with this child he also has to admit he’s grown attached to.  You really were a natural maternal figure to Izutsumi.  He watches you tend to her sometimes, a smile slowly curling on his lips.

Then he catches himself, and his blood runs cold.

…Ohhh, shit. 

Chilchuck is level headed most of the time, but when he’s panicking he can’t keep his cool to save his life.

Around you, he becomes more… frantic, in a way.  Lecturing others to give you a break, even if he can just have a small talk with you.  If asked what’s up he’d raise his voice defensively and say it doesn’t matter.

One time, Izutsumi decided she can’t choose between her two favourite human heaters, and practically forced you and Chilchuck to sleep on either side of her.  Even with the girl slotted in between you two, Chilchuck was internally losing his mind at the closeness.

He even lets you dote on him a bit more again.  Not too much, though.  He’ll accept the occasional checking in and headpat but that’s it!

You can very easily pick up on his feelings for you.  It’s not hard to notice the shift in his attitude.

Well… It’s not like you can complain.  You may offer to help him out with his future shop once you’re out of here, giving him a slight wink.

Cherish how red his face gets.  He won’t let anyone else embarrass him so easily.  Maybe pinch his cheeks if you’re feeling brave, but he may swat you away depending on his mood.

At the end of the day, he’ll give you a small smile, and wonder aloud where the Hell all the party would be if it weren’t for you.

(Bonus!  I think Falin would also super appreciate your presence.  She’s the kind to simply take her own parents’ treatment of her and shrug it off in a ‘it is what it is’ sort of way.  Your doting attitude would leave her slightly discombobulated, but she’s very welcome to it.)

[traveler-at-heart]

Lessons of Love - Part 2

Part 2 of ??? idk, I don't even know what this is lol. Anyways,

Nerd!Nat and Fem!Rogers R.

It was a perfect Saturday evening. You were laying on the grass with Natasha, your heads close to each other as you peered through the leaves of a tree. 

For the past month, you had spent every weekend together. It was always something small, like going to the movies or ice cream, but it was nonetheless special. 

The picnic idea had been your best so far. It was just the two of you in the middle of the park, with a basket full of sandwiches, chips and soda. After eating while talking about your week, you decided to rest against the blanket and Natasha did the same. As usual, you gravitated towards each other, and when you were struggling to find a comfortable position, the redhead enveloped you in her arms, your head resting on her front.

“You’re very comfy” you muttered appreciatively, enjoying the way she smelled.

“Anytime” 

You laughed and straightened up for a second to kiss her neck in thanks. The way she blushed made you smile.

“By the way, I have something for you” going through the items left on the basket, you found an envelope and gave it to Natasha. She sat up, pulling two tickets.

“Our Place in Space? I thought the exhibit was opening in a month” 

“This is a special preview. And a talk by Erik Selvig”

“The astrophysicist? That Erik Selvig?” Natasha sat up, and you groaned, pulling her back to lay next to you.

“Yeah, thought you’d like that. Mark your calendar, it’s next Sunday”

“Yes! This is so cool! I can’t even begin to thank you”

“You can certainly try” you said, your hand forcing her to look away from the tickets and turn to meet your mouth. Natasha melted against your touch and this time, you let the kiss last a bit longer. You broke apart, breathing heavily. 

“That’s a good way to thank you” Natasha said in a daze, chasing your lips for more.

—

Natasha left you at the door of your home. 

“Did I thank you already?” she said as she opened the car door for you.

“Anything for my girl”  you sighed against her lips, making Natasha blush. It was your favorite thing in the world. “Drive safely and text me when you’re home”

When you walked in to the house, everything was peaceful. You were constantly out with friends, so your family didn’t notice anything strange. It was also the fact that you lived in a huge house, and it was only four of you -well, five, if you considered Bucky-. Either way, your dad was probably golfing and your mom was out with one of her friends. 

Before going back to your room, you walked to your brother’s, hoping he was home.

“Come in” he said, dropping the book he was reading and smiling as you leaned on the doorframe. “Why do you have leaves on your hair?” 

“Oh” you ran your fingers through your hair, hoping Steve wouldn’t notice you blushing. “Uh, I was at the park. But that’s not important. I wanted to ask you something” 

“What is it? Come on” he gestured for you to sit and you closed the door, playing with your hands as you avoided his eyes.

“Do you think Mom and Dad would be mad if I dated someone?” 

“Why? Are they a bad person?”

“No!” you turned to look at him. “Quite the opposite, she’s the most amazing, thoughtful and brilliant girl”

“Does she have tattoos?”

“No” you laughed, although the image of Natasha with tattoos was strangely alluring.

“And she doesn’t have a motorcycle?”

“She drives a Volvo. And she wears her seatbelt, makes me wear mine, never goes above the speed limit”

“There you go” he nudged your shoulder, knowing you weren’t saying everything.

“I just think… considering everything that happened during the summer… maybe they’d be overprotective or something. And I don’t want to be fighting about curfews or rules they’ll set. I might as well just tell them I’m going out and not say more than necessary”

“And if they find out the truth? That you’re dating someone but kept them in the dark? That’s only gonna make them distrust you. And it’s never been who you are” 

“Right. I’m just so happy and I don’t want anything to change.”

“It won’t” Steve said, his arm going around your shoulders. “And they love you, but you gotta be honest”

You nodded, knowing he was right. You hugged him. 

“So, you and Romanoff” 

“How did you…?” you broke apart, looking at him.

“Call it brother’s intuition. Congrats. She seems nice”

“She is” you agreed, standing up to leave. “I won’t interrupt you any longer” 

You were about to close the door when he called after you.

“You know what happened wasn’t your fault”

“It wasn’t yours either. And I wish Mom and Dod would understand” you said with a sad smile. Steve nodded, going back to his book.

You hope he’d believed your words.

—

Chemistry was your new favorite subject. It was a whole hour where you could sit next to Natasha, write little notes that she’d read over your shoulder and then watch her in full focus, her eyebrows furrowed as she completed each exercise.

Today, you were doing solutions with different concentrations. Natasha did all the math, only asking for the proper amounts to create each solution. You were happy to take the role of assistant.

“Hey, Nat?”

“Yes?”

“Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you” you said the pick up line with a cheeky smile, enjoying the way she was all flustered. 

“Uhm… good one” she chuckled, looking back at the flask. “I think we’re done. Should we call professor Fury?”

You turned to look at him, and noticed he was explaining some stuff to Wanda and Pietro. The rest of the class was still working, so you made the most of your little corner at the back of the room.

“In a minute. I guess I just want you to know… we should go back to my place and form a covalent bond” you whispered, kissing her. She groaned against your mouth, but you pulled away with a smile, turning to call professor Fury. “We’re done!”

Natasha had to force herself to focus on Fury’s review, asking you both questions about the exercise. She was grateful you took the lead, because all she could think about were your lips on hers.

You never kissed at school. Actually, you barely interacted when in class. Natasha wasn’t sure if it was a normal thing; to be fair, she had never dated anyone. 

As the class ended, you leaned on her side.

“You ok? Sorry, I was being a bit naughty. It won’t happen again” you promised, thinking she might be upset because you distracted her during class. 

“No, it’s not that.”

She didn’t really know what it was. Natasha wasn’t used to public displays of affection. She also wasn’t used to feeling all hot and bothered every time you were around and from time to time, she felt a tightness in her pants that was not new, but very much hard to control. 

“Well, see you later to complete the assignment?”

“My place. Yes” she nodded. You squeezed her arm, walking down the hall to your next lesson.

As for Natasha… well, she had to take a quick detour to the bathroom before Advanced Calculus.

—

The school parking lot was always a bit too loud as the day ended. Plenty of people hung around their cars, talking before leaving.

Natasha had a habit of parking away from everyone else, closer to the teacher’s area. As every Wednesday since she had joined the cheerleading team, Yelena stayed behind for practice so Natasha drove back home alone. 

This time, as she was leaving the school premises, she heard your laugh. Looking around, she found you next to Pietro and Steve, but what really caught her eye was the way Wanda was holding you. She had her hands around your waist, head resting on your shoulder as you leaned back on her front, still talking to Pietro.

A mix of jealousy and loneliness hit the girl. And it all clicked for her. You still had lunch with your friends and hung around after school. 

Maybe you were ashamed of Natasha. She looked away, walking to her car and throwing her bag in the passenger’s seat.

—

Your presence at the Romanoff residence was becoming frequent. This time, you arrived with Yelena.

The blonde went inside, still humming the song you used for practice. You knocked on Natasha’s door, eager to greet her. 

“Hey” you smiled, but immediately noticed she was upset. You kissed her cheek and sat on the bed, sighing. “What’s wrong, Natty?”

“Nothing” she said too fast for your liking.

“Nat” you asked. “Anything it is, just tell me. Please?”

“I… I saw you with Wanda”

“I’m always with Wanda, you’ll have to be more specific” you shook your head, confused.

“At the end of the day. The way she was holding you”

“Oh, that. She’s my best friend. And she likes boys. But I’m sorry if it made you feel jealous”

“It’s not just that” Natasha said, forcing herself to speak up. She had never been good at standing her ground. “We hang out here, or at the mall. Anywhere but school. And I’m just wondering if you’re… ashamed of me”

“Nat…” you stood up, reaching for her hand. The sad look on your face made Natasha regret her words instantly. She was about to apologize when you spoke. “I’m sorry, I assumed that you weren’t a fan of drawing attention. You know how people at school are, always gossiping. And we haven’t really talked about… are we dating or not? Don’t get me wrong, I’m dying to call you my girlfriend but I’m just not sure that you want to…”

Natasha stopped your rambling with her lips. You were grateful for the interruption, smiling into the kiss.

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Yes” she nodded, her nose tickling you.

“Ok, then. We can figure this out little by little. And I’m really sorry for making you feel that way” 

“It’s ok”

“No, it’s not. Promise to always tell me when I screw up. I’ll make it right”

“You don’t have to” 

“There’s a new zombie movie” you offered, making Natasha laugh. “I’ll buy the popcorn too”

“How can I resist?” she agreed, hugging you and you relaxed in her arms.

—

“And then they threw her around, it was so cool” Yelena gave Natasha a summary of her practice on the way to school, even if she had already heard all about it during dinner last night.

“Are you still going to the start of the season?” Natasha asked, remembering the first game was this Friday.

“Yeah, to see how it’s done. Y/N is a great coach, too bad she didn’t want to be the captain anymore”

Natasha was quiet for the rest of the ride. You seemed fine with not being as involved with the cheerleading squad, but she still wondered why you’d quit so suddenly. 

Was this the kind of thing a girlfriend would ask? 

She was still thinking about it as she walked to the school entrance, Yelena finding her friends and saying goodbye with a wave of her hand. Natasha was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice you until you reached for her hand.

“Morning” you greeted.

“Hey”

“So, I’m not gonna kiss you because everyone’s here and I don’t want to overwhelm you. But… wanna have lunch with me later? We can eat outside, I know you hate the noise at the cafeteria”

“Yeah, I’d love that”

“And, would it be ok if Wanda and Pietro join us? So they can meet my girlfriend and see how awesome she is”

Natasha couldn’t help to smile at the word girlfriend. 

“Sounds nice” she agreed and you nodded, squeezing her hand before walking to your class.

There was a pleasant feeling in Natasha’s stomach as the two first periods went by. When the bell for lunch rang, you were already outside her classroom, waiting to walk together.

“Come on, I already got you food” you said, walking with a smile to a set of trees where you and the twins had lunch from time to time. 

“Hey, Maximoffs”, you greeted as soon as you sat, motioning for Natasha to take the spot next to you. “You know my girlfriend, Natasha”

Pietro whistled and Wanda laughed. 

“Now we know why she never hangs with us on the weekends” Wanda said, and Nat had a hard time figuring out if she was upset or not.

“Oh, speaks the girl who ignored us the entire summer over an English lad” you said in a bad accent and Pietro followed suit.

“Bloody true!” 

Wanda rolled her eyes but laughed.

“So, what are you two doing this weekend?” Wanda asked and you looked at Nat, encouraging her to answer.

“Well, there’s this new zombie movie…”

“Virus X! Take me with you!” Pietro interrupted.

“Fine. But no complaining when we kiss in the middle of the movie” you warned him. “Wands, wanna come too?”

“I think I’ll stay and study for Algebra. If I don’t hurry up, I’ll fail the class”

“Well, I could help with that” Natasha offered and you smiled.

“Baby, that’s a great idea” 

“Aww, baby” Pietro mocked and you threw a napkin at him. Natasha blushed and you kissed her cheek. 

“Don’t mind them. They’re evil”

“I will, however, take any help I can get to pass my test, so thanks Nat” 

Your girlfriend nodded, and began to ask questions about the subjects Wanda was studying. With a smile, you saw her interacting with your friends, knowing she was making a great first impression. Pretty soon, you imagined all of you hanging out; maybe Yelena would join too.

“You seem happy” Natasha commented as you walked back to class. 

“I am. Thanks for making me feel that way” you smiled, turning to enter the classroom. 

You didn’t need to look back to know Natasha was blushing and smiling at your words.

—

Friday finally came, and Yelena was a ball of energy as the Romanoff family drove to the first game of the season.

“This is nice” Melina commented as they got out of the car. “All of us here to support our coach and very talented cheerleader”

“I think Natalia is here for someone else” Yelena said and Natasha elbowed her. As usual, Alexei was oblivious to any exchange, going to meet the team for a review of their strategy for the game.

Yelena left as well to find the other girls, leaving Melina and Natasha at the bleachers, looking for a spot to sit. Natasha was able to spot you, walking out next to Yelena, smiling at her excitement. You looked up, eyes meeting hers briefly and smiled.

“I’m so happy Y/N is mentoring Yelena. She’s a great girl” Melina said, not missing the eye contact.

“Yeah. It doesn’t hurt to have someone babysitting Yelena at all times”

Melina laughed at that. For the rest of the night, you tried to focus on the action happening at the field, but could tell Natasha was staring from time to time. Though Nat and Melina didn’t understand much of sports, the way Alexei screamed confirmed Shield High had won the game. 

Yelena joined the family in the parking lot.

“Did you see me throw that pom pom? It was so high!”

“Congrats, malyshka” Alexei said, hugging his daughter.

“Thanks, Papa. Also, you stink a little”

“Well, let’s all go so your father can shower” Melina gave Natasha the keys to the car.

“Mama, there’s a party, can I go? Tomorrow’s Saturday, I can stay up a little later, right?”

“I have meetings tomorrow and your father’s too tired to drive you, Yelena. Maybe other time, yes?”

“Ok, I guess I’ll tell Y/N we won’t make it, Nat” Yelena casually mentioned your name, knowing what it would cause.

“I’ll drive us” Natasha blurted out. 

“Great! It’s settled, then!”

The girls sprinted to the car, while their parents stayed behind.

“Natasha going to a party? Our Natalia?” Alexei scratched the back of his head. “What do you think is that about?”

“I have a theory. Don’t worry too much about it, my darling” Melina said, patting his back. 

—

There was around twenty people at your house by the time Natasha and Yelena came inside. Everyone was gathered around the pool, away from the main house. Yelena greeted a girl that was new in town, Kate Bishop, and left her sister alone. Thankfully, you spotted her across the yard and went straight to her.

“I’m surprised you wanted to come!” you greeted your girlfriend, pulling her by the arm to walk with you.

“I thought you told Yelena to invite me”

“No, I told her we could go out for dinner because it’s gonna be too loud here. My message was not delivered, huh?” you rolled your eyes. “We can go to my room if you don’t like it here”

“It’s fine” Natasha said, more to herself than to you. This was the first high school party she had ever attended. The football team was here, with some other girls from senior year and your brother. She didn’t know anyone but you, but she had to try and be social, at least for once.

“Pepper’s here, she needs some help with the food. I’ll be right back” you promised, leaning to kiss her cheek.

Natasha sat in one of the chairs by the pool, trying to keep her anxiety at bay. Maybe she’d take you up on that offer and go to your room instead.

“Hey” a guy greeted her. He had black hair and a permanent frown. “I don’t think I’ve seen you at one of our parties before. I’m Rumlow”

“Oh, I’m here with Y/N” 

“You must be quite the party animal yourself, huh?” the boy smiled, but Natasha stared, confused. “Oh, come on. You know Y/N. She loves to play drinking games, stay up until late… says people who don’t even drink beer are boring”

That didn’t sound like her girlfriend at all, but the look that Rumlow gave her was making her uncomfortable, and she didn’t feel like calling him out on his bullshit.

“Here. Have a drink”

“No, I’m good” 

“Come on. She’ll think you’re boring if you don’t” he warned her. Natasha sighed, taking the cup. It smelled worse than the vodka his father brought back from Russia. “Just drink it all. It will taste better that way”

Natasha took a deep breath, and then a giant gulp of the liquid. It burned her throat, making her cough. Rumlow laughed, his hand squeezing Nat’s shoulder a bit too harsh and walking away.

The girl felt the need to throw up, pee or pass out and wondered what would happen first. The only thing that brought her back to reality was your hand on her cheek.

“Baby? Nat, are you ok?”

“Fine” she answered, her breath alerting you of what happened. Shit.

“Steve” you searched for your brother. He was next to you in an instant. “Who gave her alcohol? We’re not supposed to have any, you know the rules”

“I don’t know” Steve said, taking Natasha’s hands. “Let’s give her some water, she’ll feel fine soon, ok?”

Across the yard, you heard Rumlow laughing. You always hated him; hell, most of the school did, and his mocking words only made your blood boil.

“Careful, looks like she’s gonna piss herself” 

“What did you do to my girlfriend, you asshole?” you walked up to him. Steve went after you, knowing you were too impulsive when provoked by guys like him.

“Girlfriend? Seriously, that loser? Can’t even hold the shot I gave her” 

“I’m gonna kill you” you threw a punch, just like Bucky had taught you. It landed square in his nose, making it bleed.

“You bitch” he didn’t get to you, because Bucky and Steve blocked his path, pushing him all the way to the front door. 

“Never come back, asshole” Bucky warned him. “The rest of you, party is over”

Ignoring the pain in your knuckles, you went to sit next to Natasha, offering her a glass of water. She drank from it, sighing when her head stopped spinning.

“I’m sorry” 

“Don’t be. He’s an idiot. And I’ve wanted to punch him in the face for a long time now”

“Speaking of which…” your brother offered you a pack of ice. “Here. Nice punch, sis. Maybe you can be a boxer now”

“Pass” you smiled, placing the ice against the bruised skin. Yelena brought Nat another glass of water and after half an hour, you could tell she was a lot better. “Let’s get you home, ok? Or maybe you both can stay here and I’ll keep an eye on Nat”

“No, our parents will know something’s up. I’ll stay with her and text you if anything happens”

You nodded, pulling Nat with you. Bucky drove Natasha’s car, Steve following behind on Bucky’s car so you three could go back home. The ride was silent, your hand squeezing Nat’s as she enjoyed the night air. By the time they reached the Romanoff house, she was completely awake and only a bit nauseous.

“Come on, sestra” Yelena grabbed her gently by the arm, making sure they didn’t wake their parents as they went up the stairs.

You stayed on the front door until the lights went out again, feeling like the worst person in the world. Defeated, you climbed to the passenger seat, Bucky driving back to your home.

“Y/N”

“Bucky, don’t”

“It’s not your fault”

“Natasha’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met and yet, it seems like I’m always making her feel insecure or like she’s not enough. Maybe I’m just not good for her”

“Hey, this is all on Rumlow being an ass, ok? Don’t beat yourself up for it” Steve said, his arm on your shoulder.

“Yeah. The beating you gave him was enough for a day” Bucky said and the three of you laughed.

“Thank you for stepping in”

“Yeah, he’d be dead if we hadn’t” Steve said, sure that you wouldn’t let Rumlow go without a fight.

—

Pain. Confusion. Too much light. And noise. 

Natasha felt all of those things as she struggled to open her eyes. She groaned, turning to look around. This was Yelena’s room.

“Oh, good. You’re up” her sister walked in, holding a glass of water. Natasha took it, drinking the entire thing. “I’ll text Y/N. I don’t think she slept at all, asking me every hour to check on you” 

“I’m never drinking, or standing near a bottle of wine again in my life” 

“How much do you remember?” 

“Enough to feel like an idiot. Was Y/N upset?”

“Well, yes. She punched that dude right in the face. It was awesome”

“I mean… at me” Natasha sighed, feeling like she had screwed everything up.

“Why would she be mad at you, Nat?” Yelena’s phone pinged again, and she showed the message to her sister. “See? She’s asking if you need anything and if she can come over” 

“I better shower. Thank you, sestra”

 Yelena nodded, looking tired and ready to sleep for the next few hours. Natasha took advantage of the fact she had the bathroom to herself, enjoying a warm shower. By the time she came out, her mind was clear and she was eager to see you. Natasha felt the need to apologize.

“Coming” she said as soon as the doorbell rang. “Hi”

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” you said, smiling at her. You cradled her head in your hands, massaging her temples. “You had me worried sick”

“I’m sorry” she said, melting against your touch.

“Don’t be. Here. I brought you something light to eat. And some painkillers in case you’re out” 

“Thank you” she took your hand, leading you to the kitchen. “Dad’s out and Mom’s working” she explained, pulling out two plates to share the food.

“That’s ok, I’m not hungry” you declined with a tense smile.

“Is everything ok?” she reached for your hand and you hissed at the contact. Laughing, you showed her your bruised knuckles.

“Guess I punched him too hard”

“Did you get checked by a doctor? Are you ok?” Natasha leaned forward, looking concerned.

“My dad said it’s fine. Mom was a bit upset, but Steve convinced them Rumlow had it coming” 

“I got you into trouble, I’m sorry” Natasha shook her head. What the hell was she thinking?

“Hey, that’s not true… I’m the one who’s sorry. I feel like I’m always making you do things you’re not comfortable with and I hate it, Nat. You’re all I care about, but I feel like I’m screwing up and hurting you in the process”

“I just know you’re used to hanging around a lot of people from school and don’t want you to give that up for me, ya know?”

“I kinda have to be social because Steve and Bucky love to throw parties. I’d rather watch movies with you or literally anything else, Nat”

“Really?”

You nodded, closing the distance between you too. Your lips met in a short and sweet kiss, and you felt her smiling against your mouth.

“I do have something to tell you… about a thing that happened this summer” you rolled up the sleeve of your shirt, showing a big scar on your arm, close to your elbow. It looked fairly recent. “So, you know how we go to the Hamptons at the start of the summer, right? And there’s always the usual people. One of them is this jerk, Tony Stark. He’s always messing with us because his parents barely spend time with him”

“Did he hurt you?” Natasha asked, squeezing your hand.

“Well, they were playing tennis and made a bet. If he won, Steve would have to give him his car for the day. And I’d have to tag along. Steve said no, but I was just so annoyed at Stark for always getting on my nerves that I agreed. Except I forgot Steve is a really bad tennis player” you laughed, Natasha smiling, but waiting for you to continue. “So, we drove around for a while. And at some point he thought it would be funny to go on a different lane and just drive like a complete idiot. I really did ask him to stop, but Stark wouldn’t listen and then… we got into an accident”

“That’s how you got this scar”

“Yeah, I broke my arm and hurt my spine, which is why I had to step down from the cheerleading team. And I had thought about it before, but I guess it’s different when you decide it by yourself, instead of being forced by circumstances… My parents were pissed at Steve, Stark got in massive trouble as well and I don’t know, being with you was the one good thing I’ve had in a long time. But I feel responsible and like I was an idiot and yesterday I got so scared you’d get hurt because of me” 

“I’m fine” Natasha promised, searching for your eyes. “I’m here, nothing happened”

“Maybe I’m not good enough for you, Nat; you’re always so kind and thoughtful. I’d hate myself even more if something happened to you” 

“It won’t, ok? From now on, it’s us. And maybe some time Yelena”

“And Pietro and Wanda” you said, smiling.

“Thank you for telling me about what happened”

“I trust you. And you should know that my parents are a bit protective right now so when I tell them we’re dating, they might want to interrogate you… and take you for a driving test as well”

“Anything” she promised. You leaned forward to kiss her again. This time, you deepened the kiss, running your hands through her hair. “I love it when you do that” she mumbled against your lips.

“Do what? This?” you teased, running your tongue along her lower lip, feeling her moan against your mouth. 

“We eat there!” Yelena stormed in, groaning. “Get a room. Yours is literally upstairs” 

“Yelena, where are your manners?” Melina said, joining the three of you. Your eyes widened, surprised to see Mrs Romanoff. 

“Babe, I thought you said your mom was working?”

“She was”

“And now I’m home. Let’s have a talk in my study. Natalia, Y/N?”

“Good luck” Yelena blurted out, escaping to hide in her room. You grimaced, looking between your girlfriend and her mother. 

Well, time to come clean. 

[lexosaurus]

Gym 101

In which Valerie forces Danny to go workout with her

[ao3]

Characters: Danny & Valerie Warnings: None Wc: 2,230

****

"You're not engaging your core, Danny. What do I keep telling you?" Valerie sighed and put down her weight. "You're going to fuck up your knees if you don't slow down and do this right."

"And I keep telling you I don't even know what that means!" Danny snapped, not for the first time this week and probably not the last.

When he told Valerie that he, Danny Fenton, was also Danny Phantom, Danny had been expecting Valerie to be so mad at him that she never wanted to speak to him again.

And, well, she had been that mad at him. Very mad, in fact. So pissed, that for a minute, Danny was worried she was going to blast him off her roof.

He hadn't stuck around long after that.

And while he was beginning to make himself comfortable in the campground called, "Valerie's Cold Shoulder," he barely had two days to settle in before she had seemingly decided that enough was enough. 

Just before homeroom began, she strode to him in the hall, pulled him to the side—literally, she yanked him around the corner by his shirt sleeve—and demanded they start hitting the gym together.

"Because," Valerie had explained at his whining, and not patiently either, "I get that you have ghost powers, but your human half is such a twig. Seriously, Danny, do you know how much you're holding yourself back right now? If you actually tried strength training, I bet you'd level up pretty hardcore in ghost fights. Who knows? You might be able to train your reflexes to dodge one of Skulker's blasts from time to time."

And well, that bruise to both Danny's ghostly ego and his human teenage boy ego had been all he needed to agree to start working out with none other than his former rival turned ally, Valerie Gray.

"Stand up straight," Valerie ordered, pulling him back to his present world of pain.

He had no idea how Jazz and his mom liked doing this stuff. At the current moment, he was pretty sure the person who invented the concept of lifting weights was a giant masochist because there was simply no way in hell anyone throughout history would have ever said, "You know what sounds like the most fun thing ever? Let's take heavy objects, lift them, do a little movement, and then put them back down in the same spot we lifted them from!"

But apparently, he was the weirdo for not understanding why there was a dedicated fanbase of people who put a metal bar on their back, put some weights on the sides of the bar, squatted into a crouch, and then stood back up.

And repeated the process.

Again.

And again.

And again. Ten times, resting, and then ten more times.

Danny weakly stood, gripping the bar behind his shoulders like it was the only thing tethering his will to live to this plane of existence, and glared at Valerie through sweaty bangs. "Okay, standing. What next?"

"We godda fix your core."

"Be my guest," Danny said. He wasn't even sure if Valerie could fix something he'd never had to begin with, but if she truly wanted to, then...whatever. He'd lost by coming here, anyway.

Valerie scrutinized him as if he was some sort of science project that wasn't quite working out how she'd hoped. Which, thinking about it for a moment, he figured that was probably exactly what he was to Valerie. 

Then, without warning, she put her hand on his stomach.

Now, Phantom was largely considered a very suave and cool hero. Well, maybe Sam and Tucker would disagree, and sure there was a whole TikTok tag dedicated to videos of him falling into random objects, but still. There were enough random people around who would agree that Phantom was at least somewhat socially sufficient.

But Fenton on the other hand was very much not. He was an awkward, goofy teen. He wasn't popular, and he didn't exactly have a lot of girls fawning over him at every turn.

Which was why Valerie, his former girlfriend who maybe he still had some deeply buried feelings for, touching him so casually was setting off all sorts of alarm bells in his brain.

"...got it?" Valerie was saying.

Certainly, she had said something.

Something that Danny was supposed to be listening to.

Oh, shit. 

"Uh..." Danny tried to re-circuit his brain.

"Here, follow my lead. Okay? Breathe," she said. "Good. Now, tighten your abs."

Danny tried his best to follow.

"No, see, you're sucking in. Tightening your abs doesn't mean sucking in. It's like, okay, think of it this way. Try hardening your abs into a brick wall. Like, squeeze them together. Now—yeah, like that. Now, can you try adding your side and lower back into that brick wall too?"

"Try adding what?"

The corners of Valerie's lip twitched up. "The sides of your stomach? You have abs there too. And there are muscles in your lower back. That's all part of your core too. Remember what I said about your core's job to keep your body stable? Those muscles are all important for that."

"Valerie, I think you're really overestimating how in shape I am. I didn't even know there was more than one ab muscle, much less that there were abs on the sides of my body."

"Well, you have them, ghost boy."

"Doesn't help much if I can't feel them."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Well, just try your best."

"Yes, Ma'am." Danny did his best to follow her lead while also struggling to ignore the fact that her hand was still on his stomach. 

He was so glad Tucker wasn't here to see his face. He could only hope that Valerie had come to the conclusion that the redness he could feel burning from his cheeks was proof that he was way more out of shape than she thought he was. That was still pretty embarrassing, and likely not even all wrong, but he would take it over the truth.

"Okay, now reset your shoulders. Stop hunching so much," she said.

"But the bar feels weird," Danny defended.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get used to it. Stop looking down so much. You want your spine to be straight."

"I know." 

Half of what Valerie had been telling him for the past week was to straighten his spine. He couldn't help it if his back was a visual representation of his many years of late-night gaming. 

"Okay, now squat down." She leaned forward, and her dark eyes were just inches from his own. "No—look at me the whole time. Don't drop your eyes to your feet."

Oh, his face was burning burning now.

He slowly lowered his body, focusing on staying balanced as best as he could. Having a bar on his back was still a new sensation, and Valerie was refusing to let him load any weight onto it. Apparently, everyone started from an empty bar until they got the hang of the motion. Danny wasn't sure if that was something Valerie was just saying to be nice to him, or if that was actually true. 

He did try asking, and she just got offended that he would dare think so low of her that she would lie about something gym-related, and then she told him to stop screwing around and focus on the exercise.

So, it was fifty-fifty at this point.

"Keep going down," Valerie instructed, stepping back and thankfully removing her hand from him in the process.

Seriously, that had been the longest several seconds of his entire life and half-life combined.

"But I thought you weren't supposed to go past ninety degrees or something?" Danny asked from his invisible chair-like position in his squat.

"No, that's a lie. I think they just tell that to people who have butt-wink or bad mobility or something."

"The hell is butt-wink? See, now I just think you're making stuff up."

"I'm not! It's actually something you're doing right now." Valerie pointed at him in the mirror. "See how your pelvis is tucking in and curving your lower back? That's butt-wink." She moved to stand next to him and lowered down in a squat. "See my lower back? It's straight. This is how you want to be."

Danny wasn't aware that working out would just give him more things to be self-conscious about. He tried to straighten his lower back, but it was almost impossible to do so without feeling like he was going to fall on his ass. "Okay, then how do I fix that?"

"Well, I'm not exactly a doctor, so I'm sure it could be caused by a few different things. But the most common one I've heard is that butt wink happens when your core is shit. But it could also just as likely be an ankle and hip flexibility issue too."

Danny rolled his eyes. "As we've established, my core is shit. And I'm not flexible at all. "

"Yeah, I know," Valerie lamented. "I can't believe you've been fighting as Phantom for all these years and you haven't gone to the gym even once. Isn't Sam really into working out or something? Why didn't you ask to be her gym buddy?"

"Because I value my life." Danny paused. "My half-life, whatever. Tucker worked out with her once to prepare for the President's fitness test they did freshmen year, and I didn't stop hearing about it for months. She's ruthless."

"You know what, I believe that."

"Yup," Danny grunted, lowering to do another squat.

Two down, about five million more to go.

People actually enjoyed lifting weights? They came to the gym willingly? As in, of their own volition?

They seriously sweated and lifted heavy objects in a room surrounded by a bunch of equally sweaty, smelly strangers who were lifting other objects? 

And they thought it was fun?

That seemed absurd.

Valerie scrunched her nose at him.

"What?" Danny asked, his voice teetering past the line between speaking normally and whining, but he was far too exhausted to care. "Why are you looking at me like that? What am I doing wrong now?"

"No, it's just—" Valerie tilted her head. "Try widening your stance more. And maybe try pointing your toes out a little bit. That should help with your form. I mean, ideally, your ankle mobility would be better, but given it's pretty shit right now, this might be the best fix."

"God, I'm hopeless. Just give me the word and I'll leave."

"Oh, stop. You're not hopeless. You just need to stretch more. And train more."

Danny shuffled his feet and bent down into another squat. Having a wider stand did make the squat feel easier, but he wasn't about to admit that to her. "No, I am definitely hopeless. It'll be a blow to my ego, but I think I can emotionally recover if I leave the gym right now."

Valerie punched his arm, though it had no real power to it. She'd long since stopped legitimately trying to hurt him. 

Nevertheless, he would have sooner let Skulker capture him than pass up an opportunity to verbally torment Valerie. "Wow, I can't believe my ally is trying to beat me up and murder me in public. Especially while I'm trying to better myself in the gym."

"Oh, shut up." Although she tried to look angry, Danny could see the corners of her lips quirk into a smile. "Alright, your form is looking a lot better. It's still not perfect, but it's way better than when we started."

"Thank god."

"Maybe in a few weeks we can start adding plates."

A few weeks?

He must have let his internal expression show, because she once again snapped with, "It's normal for people to only squat the bar when they first start. It's way more important to get proper form than to lift heavy. You see that guy over there?"

She nodded across the room at a man doing chest presses. He was using weights that Danny could only dream of, pumping them up and down with a confidence that Danny was sure rivaled even Dash.

So the man looked alright to Danny, but apparently, that was the wrong conclusion to come to, if Valerie's critical eye was any judge.

"See how his elbows are basically straight out from his body? And see how he's not extending his arms all the way when he presses? He's rushing through the exercise. It's bad form, and while it may feel cool to lift heavy, bulky weights, if you can't even do the exercise properly, you just end up looking like a fool." She turned back to him. "Remember, you're in a gym. That means you're surrounded by people who have been doing this shit for years. Trust me when I say you're not going to impress anyone by rushing through the exercises to try to look cool."

"Aye-aye, captain."

It wasn't like he was going to impress anyone with the way he was wobbling while attempting to squat the naked bar, anyway.

"Alright, that's enough of a rest, I think. This time, let's actually do eight reps."

"Literal torture."

"Keep the whining up, and I might just call my blaster out."

Danny could see it in her eyes that she wasn't joking.

And so, he began.

****

[read more of my fics here]

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 9

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Janice’s POV

“Mama, I’m ok,” Roman said as I sat there in disbelief as they took Tia out of the courtroom. “Son something ain’t right…..Why did they sentence her today? Why she got a short sentence, weren’t we all watching the same video because she needs to be up under the jail.”

“The Judge said it was because of the plea deal, her clean record and just wanting this over for everyone,” he said looking at Kara who seemed to be struggling with the verdict and I don’t blame her.

“Son something in the milk ain’t clean…..Regardless of the verdict he should have rescheduled a date for sentencing. That would have given him time to give a more suitable sentence for crime because that wasn’t it,” I said as Roman hugged me.

“Ma, can we just leave, I’m ready to get outta Boston,” he said as I sighed giving him a hug seeing Jey heading over.

“Aye, you ok auntie?” he asked as Roman moved and I gave him a hug. “Yes, baby I am, just can’t believe what happened in here today.”

“Neither can but we’re all bout to go leave and get some rest. We’re flying out tomorrow but planning to hit up the 16 East Bar and Grill in Pensacola on Sunday before we head back out on the road,” Jey said smiling at me.

“You’re inviting us?” Roman asked in shock as Jey sighed. “I’m still mad as hell at you, but I can’t help but be thankful you were there with Kara. You risked your life to save her and Trin…That what family do.”

“I love them both…I always will, it ain’t nothing to thank me for.”

“Well, the option is open, we’ll probably get there about 7. Trin reserved the patio, so we ain’t gotta worry about people,” Jey said as I smiled.

Hey, I will take those baby steps in the healing process. I know we will come back together in some shape or form.

“Well, we will meet ya’ll there Sunday,” Roman said as I tried to contain my excitement, praying this was a positive step in the right direction for us.

----

Kara’s House

Kara’s POV

I’m glad we did come back to the house alone and just chilled out. I don’t know how I would have reacted hanging out with my mom, I needed time to decompress. 

“Girl, I love this back yard,” Trin gushed as I smiled wrapping myself up in my blanket.

“Thanks, when I saw the firepit I fell in love,” I said as she nodded roasting her marshmallows.

“I may have to talk Jimmy into getting us one. You know marshmallows are my weakness.” “That’s why I keep them stocked up ma’am,” I said as she smiled brightly at me.

“I know you had a lot of work to make up, did you finish?” Trin asked as I smiled. “I’m finally caught up, it wasn’t easy, but I have two A’s and two high B’s” I said truly proud of how I overcame and turned everything around.

“Yes! You know when you graduate I’mma act a fool…You know this right?” she said making me laugh as I looked at Jey flipping the meat on the grill as Jimmy was telling him some animated story. I loved their relationship so much.

“Have you told Jey?” Trin asked as I smiled at her. “Told him what?”

“Uh, that you love him, duh,” she said as I blushed. “I’ll have you know I told him the night I woke up from surgery.”

“That’s great…So are ya’ll together or what is we doing?”

“I’m scared Trin,” I said honestly as she nodded in understanding. “Do you want to be with Jey?” she asked as I nodded. “Yea, I really do.”

“Then be with him Kara, what’s the problem?.…That man loves and adores you,” she said gently pushing my shoulder.

 “I can see the blogs now having a fucking field day. Imagine their us at family gatherings. Chile, did you hear Kara is here with Joshua like she wasn’t married to Roman.”  I mocked as Trin shrugged her shoulders.

“Girl, fuck them bloggers and keyboard trolls, they don't know you and it ain't they fuckin' business. Plus, you knew Jey before Roman anyway."

"Ok, but like I said, what about the family gatherings. You know they always have parties and cookouts," I said as Trin smiled.

"Fuck their opinions too, but I don’t think it will be a problem, everyone loves you, especially mom and pops. They hate what Roman did and I think you’re overthinking it.”

“So much is going on, I just don’t want to hurt him Trin,” I whispered as she reached over and put her hand on my knee.

“It’s your time to be happy Kara and damn what people think. Life is too short, and you got a second chance at life.”

“I know I got a second chance, but I’m scared of screwing this up,” I said finally voicing my fears.

“Live your life Kara, tomorrow ain’t promised to none of us. You don’t owe anybody anything, ain’t no debts around here,” Trin said as I gave her a hug.

“I know and I love you, girly.  Ugh, I’m so tired of crying,” I sniffed failing to stop my tears.

“I love you too, sis, it’s time for the happy tears now because you deserve it.”

“You really think so?” I asked barely above a whisper as she rubbed my back. “I know so, everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself in this life about to happen and I can’t wait to see witness it.”

“Ya’ll aright over there?” Jimmy asked as Jey turned to look back at us.

“Yea, just two sisters having our daily talk,” I said as Trin laughed.

“Ya’ll know how we get, let us have our moment,” she said as Jimmy shook his head. “Man, what we gon’ do with them two?” Jimmy asked as Jey chuckled handing him a pan so he could take some of the steaks off the grill.

“Love ‘em and let them do their thang,” he chuckled. “Yea, what he said!” Trin yelled as I laughed.

Trin was right it’s my time to put myself first and live my life. Anything or anybody that disrupts my peace from this point forward gotta go, because it’s a new beginning for me, for us all.

-----

Pensacola, FL

A Few Days Later

Janice’s POV

We been home a couple days, and it was my day to pick up Logan. I can’t place it, but I knew something wasn’t right. “Lord, uncover whatever it is because we’ve all been through enough,” I said aloud feeling nauseous pulling into Rebecca and Bill’s driveway.

Knocking on the door and getting no answer, I called and once again no answer. I saw Rebecca’s car and had talked to her ten minutes ago. I was getting irritated now.

“How the hell you gon’ tell me to come over to get Logan and not pick up the phone or answer the door.” I mutter looking under the rug for their spare key.

Opening the door, I looked around and there was no sign of Rebecca in the foyer or living room. I could hear Logan babbling on the baby monitor in the living room, so I knew she was ok.

 “Rebecca!” I called out, no answer. “This how these damn horror movie start, I hope this fool is ok,” I mutter heading towards the kitchen.

“I can’t thank you enough Terry,” I heard Rebecca say as I stopped in my tracks.

Who the hell is Terry?

“Rebecca, this is the last time I’m taking your call. I did this favor for you and Tia, but I don’t want to be tied to the drama. I got too much to lose,” I heard the familiar voice say as she laid the phone on the table.

“Thank you for helping her, she really is anxious to make it right with her sister when she gets out,” Rebecca said grabbing Logan’s formula putting it in her baby bag.

The damn judge….She was the reason for that shit show the other day.

“That’s good and all but I put in a no contact order in the paperwork for a reason. I truly feel she meant what she did and her actions alone warranted life in prison, but I helped you for old time sakes,” he said sounding seemingly disappointed with himself.

“I---We appreciate this so much, she’s going to stay out of trouble when she gets out and we won’t bother you again.”

I was physically ill, this was sick.

“I don’t know what hold your daughter has over you…But if this goes bad, it’s on your head. It would be in her best interest to just leave Kara be,” he said as she shook her head.

“I will handle Kara; she will come around and see Tia was just going through a lot and didn’t mean to hurt her. I just know by the time it’s time for Tia to get out, they will have reconnected, and Kara will be calling you to cancel that no contact order.”

This woman has lost it, like needs to sit on someone’s couch…ASAP. Hearing enough, I quietly retraced my steps finally finding my way back in the entrance of the house pretending I had just arrived.

“Rebecca, I’m here to get Logan!” I said a little louder as I heard her scrambling round the kitchen.

“She’s upstairs, I’ll get her,” she yelled as I shook my head.

I can’t believe she sold out her own daughter to protect the other one that tried to kill her. She and Tia are really one in the same she just masks her dirt.

It seemed like it took forever, but finally she brought Logan downstairs.

“Oh, baby girl I missed you,” I whispered as she placed a dozing Logan in my arms. “I put her formula in the bag, and she’s already had a bottle. She should be asleep before you get back home,” Rebecca said as I smiled at my little light.

That’s what she was to us, no matter how she was conceived, our little light.

“You can pick her up at Roman’s on Thursday. I’ll leave you to your nana break and see you tomorrow at dinner,” I said grabbing Logan’s diaper bag quickly wanting to get the hell outta dodge.

“Ok, we’ll see you then and enjoy her,” she said giving Logan a kiss on the forehead.

“Oh, we will,” I said making my way out of the house, thankful she didn’t follow me out. After strapping logan in her car seat I rushed to get back in the car to call Trin but got no answer, then I remembered she had a signing to do today.

“Hey sweetie, I forgot you had a signing, and I know ya’ll gotta help out Josh tonight. I’ll just see you tomorrow at dinner. You and Jonathon be safe, love ya’ll.”

I guess I’m on my own with this one, but I know one thing, Kara will know about the shady shit her mama did and I’mma make Rebecca tells her if it’s the last thing I do.

-----

Pensacola, FL

Jey’s House

Kayla’s POV

Getting out of the shower I felt refreshed as I dried off. Looking at myself in the mirror I felt different.. Today was amazing, we had our balcony picnic date. It was simple, beautiful, and was everything.  Pizza, wine, and some of my favorite snacks had been on the menu.

The ocean serving as our backdrop and music as the waves crashed upon the shore due to a storm heading our way. We even went on a walk on the beach and watched the sunset before we got rained out. Hence the shower I just took.

I still hadn’t told Jey how I felt but today just solidified it even more. I was deeply in love with this man.

“You ok in there Kara?” Jey asked knocking on the door as I smiled.

“Yea, I’m good I’ll be out in a second,” I said dressing my wound. Thank God it’s finally healing and not hurting as much.  Slipping on one of Jey’s shirts, I cut off the lights as I headed back into the bedroom, frowning when I didn’t see him.

“Jey-”

“I’m out here on the balcony, wait I’mma come get you,” he said as I smiled at the thought of going back out there.

“What have you done now?” I asked as he smiled clad only in a pair of shorts. “This is part two of your balcony picnic date, Ma,” he whispered offering me his hand as I anxiously took it.

“Aww it’s so pretty….Wait where did all this come from?” I gasped as he led me back out on the balcony. “Told you I wasn’t done yet, do you like it?”

“I love it but how did you do it? We been out here all day and I know I ain’t seen no bed out here earlier.” I said as he laughed.

“A couple of lil birdies did it when we went for a walk on the beach. This is your new study area for when you come to visit.” he said as I blushed looking at the bed on the balcony surrounded by pillows and the beautiful string lights above it.

“I can’t believe you did all this,” I said as he smiled, laying down beckoning me to him with his finger.

“Come on down here, Ma, I owe you a movie.” Not needing to be told twice, I climbed in bed and got comfortable in his arms.

“You know, I’ve always loved staying here.  I could fall asleep out here just listening to the ocean, and now you done put a bed out here. You know it’s a wrap right, I may never leave,” I sighed, welcoming his lips as he placed a gentle kiss on the hollow of my neck. as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer.

“Maybe that was my plan, kidnap you, and never let you leave,” he said as I relaxed wanting to feel more of him as his hands caressed my bare thighs.

“You can’t kidnap the willing,” I moaned, his fingers feeling so good but I winced slightly as Jey looked at me with worry.

“Are you ok?” He asked as I nodded not wanting him to stop. “Kara, let me can get up, I’on  wanna hurt you,” he said trying to sit up as I grabbed his Cuban link holding him in place.

“I’m fine, don’t you dare move,” I said as he smiled, rolling over on his back wrapping me up in his arms.

“Ok, this is a good compromise too,” I moaned getting comfortable as the pain in my chest subsided. “I know it is, stubborn ass,” Jey chuckled, reaching up to turn off the lights and starting the movie projector.

“What are we watching?” I asked, as he gently pulled one of my legs across his lap before covering us up with a blanket.

“You’ll see,” he whispered stealing a kiss as I squealed hearing the opening credits to Dirty Dancing as he laughed.

“The stuff I do for you, woman.”

“I love this movie!”

“I know, I remembered how excited you was at the hospital that night it came on. Then you got mad and almost made me switch the channel.”

“Hey, I was ready for the love scene, and they cut it… Just plain blasphemous, but I took one for the team because one simply doesn’t change the channel when Patrick Swayze is blessing your TV screen.” I said as he raised his eyebrow at me.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” he joked as we settled in to watch the movie under the stars.

See Jey knew my love languages and I loved that. He knew what mattered, it wasn’t diamonds and pearls, or even money. It was spending quality time, it was physical touch, and creating memories with the ones you love. Jey’s love languages were a mixture of my mine. He loved to please and do for those he loved.

 He made sure every day to tell and show you how much you mean to him, and he only wanted the same in return and rightfully so.

“I’m glad you had fun and loved everything,” he said pulling me closer.

“I really did, and I hope you know I don’t just be hugged up with just anybody now,” I said as he looked down at me with a smile, catching on to what I was saying.

“Well, I don’t just do balcony picnics dates for just anybody either.” His lips close to mine as my heart pounded loudly against my chest.

“I have to warn you, I only do things like this with my man,” I whispered, as our lips finally meeting in a short, deep passionate kiss.

“And I only do things like this with my lady.” he moaned as our lips found each other once again as our kisses becoming more passionate by the second.

“For us,” Jey moaned against my lips as I whimpered against him.

“For us.”

“You sure?” He rasped pulling back slightly, watching me closely through low hooded eyes.

“I’m sure…I’ve never been sure of anything in my life,” I said as Jey caressed my face.

 “Forever my lady,” he whispered as his lips descended upon mine as I felt like I was flying. We were finally here at last and it felt so good. Breaking our kiss to catch our breaths.

“Ma, we can wait…I-I don’t want to hurt you,” Jey moaned, his beautiful brown eyes growing darker as I moved his hand slowly down to the hem of my shirt.

“You won’t, I trust you,” I gasped as his resolve crumbling taking me in a searing kiss, only releasing me from his grasp to remove my shirt.

“Your so beautiful, he whispered in awe as I blushed under his powerful serenading gaze.

Like a moth to a flame, I craved his touch and trembled with anticipation as he towered over me. The pain in my chest a distant memory, laying on my back as Jey took his time exploring my body.

His powerful hands grasping mine, bringing them to his chest as I felt his heart racing.

“I want you to feel what you do to me,” he said licking his lips as I groaned, biting my lower lip as he thrusted my hips against his dick that was straining against his shorts begging for release.

His hands controlling every sensual buck of my hips against his dick as it continued to grow longer and harder.

“Mmm, I feel it,” I gasped, his lips capturing mine in an earth-shattering kiss as my hands anxiously helped him remove his shorts.

“Not yet aulelei,” he moaned grabbing my hands gently pining them to the bed. His kisses moved to my neck, my heart racing as he caressed my breasts, being careful of my bandage.

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

“Yes, please,” I pleaded entangling my fingers in his hair as he gently suckled at my breasts taking his time with each one giving them equal attention holding my gaze as I fought back a moan.

“Mm, you sensitive huh,” he whispered with a smirk as I blushed. His lips lovingly kissing and nibbling down my body, teasingly as I fought to get ahold of myself but I was gone…

“Jey, don’t stop,” I gasped, my body trembling in anticipation of what was next to come.

 His eyes darkening as kissed the top of my mound gazing up at me with low eyes licking his lips as he descended lower. “I don’t plan too,” he whispered as I purred in appreciation.

Jey’s POV

Damn, I’m drunk…Drunk in love her intoxicating sent as I kissed the plush beautiful lips between her thighs, as Kara’s legs began to quiver.

“P- Please, Jey,” Kara as I groaned as I felt my dick get even harder.

"Fuck, all this for me aulelei? Tell me?” I moaned as her eyes met mine.

“Yes! Mmm, you know it is,” Kara gasped as I flattened my tongue and gently licked her slit, unable to stop the moan that rasped from my lips as the first drop of her sweet nectar coated my tongue.

“Mmm, I knew you’d taste like honey…. You done fucked around and created a monster, Ma,” I moaned, snatching her hips to my mouth as I swirled my tongue against her clit, commencing to drown in her.

“Jey, shit!” Kara gasped down at me in shock as I smirked.  The beautiful catch in her throat as I pleased her had me on demon time. I needed more…Much more and only she could give me what I wanted.

 “I- Mmm-” Kara moaned, trying to push my head away as I Ignored her plea intertwining our hands together, moving my tongue faster against her wet hot center.

“Stop runnin’, cause’ you deserve dis nut…..You understand me?”

Kara nodded, unable to speak. “Tell me you understand aulelei ?”

“I-I understand,” Kara whimpered as I moaned “Ain’t no stoppin’ Kara….Ain’t no stoppin’ till you nut in my mouth like a good girl,” I breathed against her pussy before going back to the task at hand.

“Fuck!..Oouu Josh, shit!” She moaned, her trembling legs over my shoulder as she sat up slightly panting in disbelief.

“Yea, you wit a real one now, moan my name baby. Damn, you makin’ my dick even harder just thinkin’ bout you nuttin’ in my mouth,” I confessed, knowing my words were encouraging her to get what she wanted…What we both needed.

“Mmm, I need it so bad,” Kara moaned moving her hips against my tongue. “Mmhm, so do I baby…. Dat’s it, you doin’ so good”

“Joshjoshjosh Mmhm!”

“Mmhm, get what’s yours. Fuck, you look so sexy chasin’ yo’ nut,” I moaned as she bit her lower lip, gripping the back of my head riding my face.

 “Babe! Kara exclaimed as she exploded in my mouth. Her beautiful face and the swivel of her hips as she rode out her orgasm were a thing of beauty.

I couldn’t get enough of her as I greedily drank her essence with a hearty moan as she writhed on the bed trying to catch her breath.  

Yea, I did dat…Fuck, I wanna keep her this way forever.

Crawling up her body, her flush face welcomed me as she grasped my Cuban link kissing me with urgency as I groaned nipping at her bottom lip.

“Mmm, you taste yourself?….You taste good, don’t you?” I groaned as Kara whimpered against my lips. Her trembling hand, reaching down between us grabbing my dick placing the tip at her entrance as I moaned trying to control myself.

“Mmm, tell me what you need,” I moaned, Kara pulling me closing whispering three words that made ignited an even deeper fire within me. “You inside me,” she gasped breathlessly as I  gave in, her tight warmth surrounding me, welcoming me home.

“Shit, Kara,” I groaned trying to take my time knowing she was still hurt, but she was making it hard. I wanted to sink inside her and get lost.  

“It’s ok,” she moaned, pulling me closer. A collective gasp of undeniable pleasure from us both filled the air as I filled her to the hilt.  

Kara’s POV

The sweat gathered at his brow as he’s trying to maintain his composure slowly beginning to thrust inside me as I craved more. “Mmm, faster.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jey moaned as I nodded not particularly caring, he felt so good, and I wanted him closer but I knew him.

“Your not,” I gasped as he gripped my hips gently once again surging forward as we both groaned at the sensation.

“I’mma take my time….Make love to you,” Jey whispered burying his head in the hollow of my neck, tilting his weight on his elbows, thrusting at a new angle that rendered me whimpering mess as he showered my neck with kisses.

“Damn, found my first spot,” he groaned as I began meeting his thrusts, feeling the pressure building with each caress, every lick and thrust we got lost in each other.

Something was different, this wasn’t sex like it was all those months ago on Roman’s bus.  This was different, we were making love and it felt so good.

With each swivel of his hips, he went deeper and deeper, our lips meeting in a familiar dance as our tongues sensually stroked each other.

The smell of rain and the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore made the moment even more special.

Each second, body to body, skin to skin we climbed higher and higher together as Jey carefully rolled onto his back, shifting me onto my side, trying to take some pressure off of my chest but never stopping his gently thrusts.

A strangled moan escaped my lips at the new position as Jey wrapped one arm around my chest, the other placing one of my leg over his as I trembled in his arms.

“It’s just us…. Stop being shy, ma,” he rasped against my ear thrusting at a steadier pace.

“Mmm, you feel so good. I need it so bad, Josh!” I cried as he growled nipping at my neck as tears sprang to my eyes from the immense pleasure.

“I know baby, me too, I need you to cum for me…You gon’ give me what I want, ain’t you?”

“Yes! I’m close, don’t stop,” my desperate cries silenced as he grasped my throat bringing my mouth to his in a scorching kiss, as I writhed in need against him.  His other hand to toying with my clit.

“You gon’ cum for me, like a good girl?” Jey asked already knowing the answer, his thrusts and breathing more uneven as I pulsed around him.

“Mmm,Yes.”

“Louder, Ma.”

“Yes! I’mma cum like a good girl, I promise,” I cried unashamed. He was dickin’ my ass down and it felt so damn good.

“Yea…Let it go, Ma. Damn, you so feel good,” he murmured against my lips.

“Josh! Fuck!” I cried coming undone in his arms. “Mmm, fuck yea look at you cummin’ just for me,” Jey praised pulling out, rubbing his dick against my clit.  “Mmm, put it back in,” I begged truly drunk on him at this point, and I wanted all he had to give.

Jey’s POV

“Uh huh, I know baby, dat pussy quivering. You need some more of dis dick don’t you?” I groaned turned on as fuck as Kara reached down, moving my hand, grasping my dick rubbing against her clit before sliding the tip back inside her.

“Take what you want, I’m yours.”

 “I want more,” Kara purred guiding my dick back inside her as we both gasped as we became one again….

“Fuck, yea…Put dat dick back in for daddy and get you another nut I moaned as we moved against each other in sync.

 “I- I want you to cum now.” Kara whimpered against me as I felt a her tight pussy swallowing my dick like a champ. Fuck, I wasn’t gon’ last too much longer.

 “Hold on, we both gon’ get this next nut together,” I groaned on a mission thrusting harder. “Josh- Wh-”

“Just breathe, ma…Let it take over, I promise its gon’ feel so good,” I whispered nibbling on her ear as I felt her relax. “Baby….Baby…Mm, Josh,” Kara gasped.

“Yea..I’m right here Kara, I got you.”

“What are you doing to me?” Kara groaned trying to hide her face but I refused to let her. Grabbing her chin, making her look at me.

“I’ll tell you what I’m doin’…..I’m makin’ love to the woman I love,” I declared, continuing to get lost inside her.

“I love you,” Kara moaned as our lips met in a sloppy kiss as she took my hand and placed it on her clit, and guiding my hand in a figure eight motion as she began steadily throwing her ass back on my dick to match my deep hard thrust.

“Shit! I love you more. …Now be my good girl, and cum for me…Fuck you doin’ so good, ma,” I moaned.

“Jey! Mmm, fuck!” Kara screamed as I felt her pulsing around my dick.

“Uh huh, I know it baby, I feel it.”

“Cum with me.”

 “Can I cum inside you?” I groaned thrusting harder praying she would say yes. “Yes, I want you too Josh,” she whimpered as her head fell back against my shoulder in shock as she fell over the cliff of extasy, taking me with her as I groaned in triumph holding her trembling body against mine as I came and stilled inside her.

The sounds of the rain hitting the roof, along with our heavy breathing filled the night air. Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes, too stunned to speak.

 “Damn, that was insane,” I whispered, finally somewhat regaining my composure as Kara rolled onto her back still trying to catch her breath.

“Best balcony picnic date ever,” Kara said with a relaxed smile as I gently kissed her lips.

“No regrets,” I whispered as Kara caressed my beard. “No regrets.”

------

Roman's House

Janice's POV

"Mama, I can't believe he posted this," Roman said as I leaned over his shoulder to look at his phone.

"Aww that was nice Joshua did that for Kara," I said as Roman rolled his eyes.

Mama-"

"What it's very sweet."

"What about the blanket hanging off the bed mama? He's being messy, in so many words sayin' he slept with Kara," Roman said as I frowned at him.

"Roman they could have been cuddling watching movies for all we know, but in the end, it isn't your business what Kara does."

"I know, but can people give me time to deal with what I lost? I lost my wife and now she's with my cousin." Roman said slightly raising his voice.

"Roman, Kara isn't going to put her life on hold to make you feel better. I had something to tell you, but I see you aren't in the right frame of mind to hear it right now." I said choosing to not pass on the new information I found out at Rebecca's today. He'll find out tomorrow like everyone else.

"No I'm not in a good head space, but I will be when I get some air," Roman said as I got up and stood by the kitchen door.

"No you ain't because you're going to end up at Josh's and I'm not letting you do that to Kara or yourself," I said putting my foot down.

"I just need some air, mama, please move," Roman pleaded as I refused to move.

"The last time you went out to get some air you ended up in Boston and could have got yourself killed, so no I ain't moving."I cried. Roman was at his breaking point, but he needed to get all this shit out. He was holding too much in.

"What do you want from me?!" Roman yelled as I pulled him into my arms giving him a much needed hug as his arms tightened around me.

"I want you to let it go, baby...Let that guilt go and free yourself, it's almost been a year." I said trying to get through to him.

"I lost her and I can't fix it," Roman said his voice breaking as rubbed his back. "Some things aren't meant to be fixed Roman...We just own up to our mistakes and take it one day at a time," I said as he pulled away wiping his tears.

"I know I gotta let her go, mama. My mind tells me that every day but my heart ain't caught up yet," Roman said sitting back down and looking at his phone.

"It will...Just give yourself time," I said as we heard Logan cry over the baby monitor.

"I got her, you went the last time," Roman said going to check on Logan leaving his phone on the table.

Picking it up I looked at Josh's post and smiled.

"Gon' head Joshua," I muttered truly happy that Kara was moving on and being loved how she deserved to be.

The thought of tomorrow suddenly crept back into my mind. I hated to disrupt the dinner tomorrow but I couldn't let this betrayal stay hidden.

Kara needed to know there was more than one enemy she needed protection from. I just never in my wildest dreams thought it would be her own mother.

Tomorrow Rebecca is coming clean or i'mma do it myself.

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[fuckyeahisawthat]

Furiosa viewing #3 for me last night and I figured something out. I have heard multiple people say that the pacing of the movie felt off or weird or even "slow," even though the plot consistently moves along at a brisk clip. But what people were noticing was not the speed of the story but the structure.

I realized the pacing feels weird because the movie has two third acts.

The overwhelming majority of movies released by Hollywood studios follow a very standardized three-act structure. This is certainly not the only way to structure a film story, but it's the most common one in the Anglophone film world, so common that you have probably absorbed its pattern without even thinking about it. The previous Mad Max movies do generally fit this structure, and Fury Road fits it like, down to the minute.

When we get to the big fight sequence at the Bullet Farm, where we know Jack has prepared everything for Furiosa to leave and they just have to get through this one last mission together, my gut story sense was like this feels like it should be the third act. The fight in the Bullet Farm and the chase with Dementus that ends in Jack's death feels like it should be the climax of the movie. And not just because we are around the two-hour mark at this point, although we are.

In terms of themes and plot arcs and story beats, Jack's death feels like where the movie should end. We start the story with Mary Jabassa telling Furiosa to leave her behind and make it home safe. I'm sure Mary knows she's on a suicide mission at this point, but maybe she can hold off their attackers long enough for her daughter to escape. But Furiosa can't leave her mom behind. So she goes back, and she watches her mom die brutally and gets trapped by Dementus.

Then, at the Bullet Farm, Furiosa has her best chance yet at getting home. She has a fully loaded vehicle, and she's outside the Bullet Farm gates while Jack is stuck inside. Jack, too, tells her to run and save herself. (While it's never spelled out, I'm sure we're supposed to intuit that the green flare means GO.) He probably thinks he's dead either way at this point, but maybe Furiosa can make it out. But once again, she can't do it. She goes back to defend Jack, and we have this little bit of hope of, maybe this time she'll be able to save the person she cares about from being killed by the same warlord who killed her mother. Whether she succeeds or fails, narratively, this feels like it should be the climactic action sequence of the movie.

But there's still another 30 (ish?? I need to watch with a timer) minutes to go after that, in which we have a whole other plot arc of Furiosa getting back to the Citadel, making her prosthetic arm, and going off on her quest to hunt down Dementus. And if this part all feels a bit grueling, it's because your brain expected the movie to end half an hour ago.

(I should pause here to say that you absolutely can write a movie in three-act structure that's longer than 2 hours--you just have to stretch all the pieces out equally or it starts to feel lumpy. And the place where our attention spans are going to be least forgiving of lumpiness is at the end of the movie.)

Well, you might say, maybe Furiosa was just not written with the three-act structure in mind. And that could be true! But I would argue that the oddness of the end of the movie comes primarily from the film not being clear on what narrative question it's trying to answer.

Because an ending that focuses on Furiosa's choice between finally getting home or going back to try to save Jack is addressing the question of, "Do you prioritize saving yourself, or do you fight for the people you love, even if you may end up in a worse situation because of it?"

An ending that follows Furiosa's revenge quest seems to focus more on, "What does seeking revenge do to your humanity?"

Both of these questions are rich territory to be explored in the wasteland, and the other Mad Max movies deal with both of them. But I would argue that the first question is very clearly set up in the beginning of the movie as a thing we expect to be exploring, and the second question, not so much.

I think the story would have benefitted from picking one or the other. And if they wanted to tell a story about the price of revenge, then highlighting this earlier--either by making revenge Furiosa's primary motivation from the beginning, or highlighting it thematically by showing how the quest for revenge warps other characters--would have made the last section of the movie feel more like a payoff and less like a sudden left turn into the desert.

[heavyhitterheaux]

"Why were you calling my daddy daddt last night, mommy? "

It was the middle of the day and you were confused on why Ivy had been extra attached to Jack and let out a sigh when you had asked her to do something. Yes, she was a daddy's girl but it seemed like today she wasn't letting him out of her sight. Autumn was already down for her afternoon nap while Axel had slowly drifted off to sleep as he cuddled against your chest, leaving Ivy as the last one awake.

“Babe, you want me to order food or did you have something in mind that we were going to fix?” Jack asked as he scrolled through his phone and Ivy being the nosey child she was, had been looking over his shoulder to see what had him so interested.

“You, my wonderful husband, are not going anywhere near the kitchen.” You replied as he instantly sucked his teeth.

“I'm getting better! I made you a five layer grilled cheese after I…”

You instantly put a hand over his mouth as your eyes went wide. You knew that Ivy wouldn't understand, but you knew that she was probably going to repeat it at the worst possible time.

All Jack did was wiggle his eyebrows as you rolled your eyes.

“You got lucky last night. Who knows what will happen next time.”

“I sure did get lucky.” Jack said as he leaned to whisper in your ear making you laugh as Ivy turned up her nose.

“Daddy, what's so funny? I wanna laugh too.” Ivy asked as she now moved to sit in Jack’s lap wanting all of his attention to be on her.

“Nothing, Ivy. Just something I wanted to tell your mom.”

She rolled her eyes and you caught it and looked at her and immediately asked for an explanation.

“Ivy, lose the attitude, now. What is going on?”

“You’re trying to steal daddy away from me!”

“What? Ivy, if it wasn't for your mom, you wouldn't be here.” Jack quickly answered as you were still trying to understand why she was acting that way towards you.

“Why were you calling my daddy daddy last night, mommy?” Ivy asked and at that moment, Jack was drinking his water and his eyes went wide as he tried not to choke on it as he made a face at you.

“Umm, you might have been imagining things, Ivy.” You said as you tried to come up with an explanation.

“Cause I thought daddy was your husband?”

“He is.”

“So, he can't be your daddy too.” Ivy responded as she was thinking out loud.

“He's not.”

“Hmm, says who?” Jack whispered, but you heard him and you quickly pinched him making him yelp.

“As long as daddy still loves me.”

“Of course I do, bubs. And I love your mom, too.” He replied as he kissed the top of her head.

“Okay! Can I have a popsicle?”

“Yeah, you go first and I'll meet you in the kitchen.”

Ivy slid off Jack’s lap and immediately ran into the kitchen as he turned to you and busted out laughing.

“I told you that you were too loud, baby.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you.

“You get on my last nerve.”

“Hey, don't get mad at me.” Jack responded as he held his hands up in defense.

All you did was roll your eyes as you adjusted Axel in your arms.

“Lose the attitude before daddy teaches you a lesson. Just wait until all three of them take their nap.”

[joydoesathing]

what would happen if anatolii knew about this. What was Nacho thinking just running away was he that different compared to now

*cracks knuckles*

hoooooo boy, get ready cuz i got a whole character arc below

(again this is just my take on the story, so it's highly headcanonned)

"I'm sorry for running away. I'll make sure to make it up to you and your mother..."

nacho was more reckless back in his former years when he was first having a fling with frances. but when he did get her pregnant, he realized that he messed big time. realized that not only he's got a child on the way but has no means to provide for them both and isn't personally ready for big commitments like being a father or even getting married. why would he be? he was barely even 20. he never really thought that far ahead.

he didn't want to ask his parents for help. they'd definitely kill him if they figured out he got this girl they never met pregnant. he didn't also have the guts to tell frances the bad news.

his buddies at the time, who were just as reckless and short-sighted as he was, recommended that he could just... leave all that complicated and deep mess with frances behind him. just run away.

i mean he could do it. like him, frances probably wouldn't turn and complain to her parents first for help (for the same reason nacho wouldn't turn to his own parents for help) . his parents doesn't even know they had a fling together. even if she will become desperate enough to find them and try to turn to them for help, would they even accept her? let alone believe her?

"you wouldn't get in trouble. there's no one else that knows about it than you two."

" i mean, i'm sure she'll figure out something. she should know at least the basics."

that's what his buddies kept on assuring him. but even he could see that just up and deserting frances like that is just straight up cruel.

but was he in any room to still complain? it's not as if he had the resources nor the strong will to commit and face the heavy consequences of his actions.

and with that, he ran off but wracked with the small feeling of guilt.

while he tried having his new start, that feeling of guilt just grew bigger and bigger and started eating away at his conscience. he kept on trying to deny and delude himself with the words of his buddies, but it did nothing to stop that guilt completely.

it made him finally see that he's nothing more than a dirty dog running with its tail between its legs. a jerk and a coward. he had a feeling that he was going to have his comeuppance and it wasn't going to be pretty.

and so it did, a year and a half after he ran. his partner, depressed and completely driven to madness , tracked him down and almost murdered him in a psychotic rage.

he was forced to see the result of his cowardice and neglect. he didn't blame frances for doing that. who wouldn't go mad if they've been abandoned by someone who thought they could trust?

after she was stopped, he decided not to press charges on frances , although that didn't stop her from still getting institutionalized. being incapable to care for her child, nacho finally decided to man up and take his and frances' child up as his own and take raise him.

he knew that it's such a scummy thing to do. to just NOW take up the responsibility when everything was blown out of proportion. but he decided to not run away now, just because of that. his son needed a parent more than anything else now.

as he went on raising anatolii, he felt that he had absolutely nothing to be praised for. unknowing people says: "you're such a strong man, raising a son all by yourself."

he just did what he should have done from the start. right now, he takes care of his son wholeheartedly as an act of repentance, for both frances and anatolii. to show that he's truly sorry for being the coward he is.

for now, nacho is keeping the truth the whole mess between him and frances well-kept from anatolii. the only thing that anatolii does know about his mom is that she's alive but never drops by to visit due to some "personal problems and conflicts". but nacho always assures him that his mother loves him no matter what.

[christmasjade]

My thoughts on Married in Red+ My general thoughts on Studio Investigrave !

So I really like this game

It was fun to be able to play it on my own with no help from Youtubers and stuff ^^

The game has 1 ending, though you can have 2 different kinds of game overs lol (I'll get to that later)

The mc (Bok-su) and her relationship with the bride (Da-Jeong) is sad , but not shocking lol. You can kind of tell from the promotional art (and the theme of atonement said in the itch.io description) that Da-Jeong and Bok-Su are not on good terms.

I like that Bok-su was able to get her revenge on Da-Jeong. Obviously her way of doing it is horrible, and the groom (Myeong-hoon) being a main part of her revenge is sad, because he had nothing to do with this.

However, I dont feel that bad for Da-Jeong at all. Yeah, two wrongs dont make a right, and people panic, but she essentially ruined Bok-Su's life and reputation to save her own ass, so I really can't bring myself to feel too bad for her.

Sure you can argue that the situations are different, with Bok-Su purposefully killing Myeong-Hoon meanwhile what Da-Jeong did was a mistake, but I personally am a firm believer of getting your lick back, so 🤗..

I also like how the deaths and reactions are the exact same lmao.

The patient Da-Jeong killed was a man, and his mother said something along the lines of like.. "You killed my son" (I dont exactly remember, depsite me literally just playing LMAOO) and Myeong-Hoons mom literally says the same thing/something adjacting to that too Da-Jeong.

Da-Jeong runs off and during her break down says "I didn't do it-", which is what Bok-Su says when shes retelling the story of what Da-Jeong did to her.

Bok-Su had to goal of getting her payback to make Da-Jeong atone and she accomplished it. And the crazy thing is, despite everything that happened, Da-Jeong never said sorry.

She never said sorry. Not when Bok-Su showed up to the wedding, not when the two of them where alone in the garden, and damn sure not when Da-Jeong had "enough" of Bok-Su being there.

She never said sorry, not even when she pointed the blame onto Bok-Su. In fact, Bok-Su repeats a line that Da-Jeong said to her when (I'm assuming so anyway) the incident happened. Da-Jeong told her that she didnt have anything to worry/be mad about.

The ending of the game, obviously, isnt really a happy ending. Bok-Su gets her revenge and makes Da-Jeong go through what she did but 10× worst. So sure its happy for her,but its still horrific lol

Which is why I love endings for the games that Studio Investigrave makes. With the exception of Cold Front, all of the endings across all the games arent truly happy ever after kind of endings.

With Dead Plate, Rody either has to kill Vincent after finding out his ex was killed and turned into food by him AND after he tried to do the same to Rody.

Yeah Rody makes it out alive, but theres still a horrible and traumatic incident that happened. He knows why Vince did it, and was able to get rid of him, but it doesn't erase the fact that Manon is still dead. (Or with the other ending he leaves the restaurant and never find Manon, because shes in the fridge "missing".)

With Elevator Hitch, the cycle repeats for Protag. When he finally gets the chance to leave the Elevator and the building, hes stopped by some..guy ?? (Who looks like an alternate lmao) and is convinced that he needs the job. The exit doors then open up into the elevator again. He never leaves that building, and is probably stuck in a time loop.

With Eloquent Countenance, Angelica either gets the ritual redone on her by the cult, or is stuck in the cult with the knowledge that shes not the only one in her body. But that she shares it with an angel pretending to be the dead wife of the cults pastor.

Yeah, she lives, but she has to wait until Forcas can fully save her from her possession by said angel. The ending, like Dead Plate and Married in Red, is horrific.

And then with the other ending of Cold Front , if you push Winnie off the stairs, he dies in the crash and Auggie takes his place. It's a happy ending for Auggie, sure, but he never gets the closure or the realization that Winnie was never the wicked and mean person he made him out to be in his head. Its disturbing how content he is with it, with the fact that his former best friend is dead and how he replaces him.

But yeah, erm... the game was fun, 10/10 ^^

[funnyjb]

Mama

………………………………….

It’s Friday night and instead of going out with friends like you usually do on Friday nights, you were at home taking care of your new bundle of joy. Emma came into yours and Joes lives just about last week. April 8 at 6:21pm was when Emma was born. Joe and yourself couldn’t be more happier to have her in your lives.

Joe is such an amazing father. You would walk into her nursery and see him leaning over her baby basket.

You were in the bathroom getting ready for bed. You were exhausted. Getting up in the middle of the night every single night, feeding her 24/7, taking care of her when she cries, and not getting any sleep wasn’t helping. You were in your pjs putting on your moisturizer when Joe walked in. He looked tired too. He just put down emma for the second time and was ready to get to bed. He could tell you were a little off because you didn’t get any sleep.

“Hey.”- joe

You looked up at him through the mirror

“Hey, is she asleep?”- you

“Yeah, finally.”- joe

He walked over to the sink next to you and started turning on the sink.

“Are you ok? I know it’s been a crazy week.”- joe

“I’m fine Joe. Everything is fine.”- you

The truth was everything isn’t really fine. You loved emma and Joe, but postpartum is hitting you hard. You are so tired, you don’t feel right in your own body, and as said before no sleep doesn’t help.

“No it isn’t y/n, I can tell.”- joe

“Joe, seriously I’m not in the mood right now.”- you

You closed your skincare bottles, wiped your hands on the towel and headed out the bathroom.

Joe was a little mad that you weren’t saying what you needed to say but he understood. He knows you don’t really like talking about your feelings and he knows to give you some space when you need some. After he was done in the bathroom which was a couple minutes later and he came out into the bedroom where you were. You were folding some clothes and putting them on the chair next to his side of the bed.

“Y/n, you need to tell me what’s going on. I know something is up. I know that you are tired, but I want to make sure you are ok. I love you and I want to know what is going on in my wife’s mind.”- Joe said calmly

“You what to know what is going one Joe?”- you said turning around with an unfolded onesie in your hands

“Yeah, I do.”- Joe

“Alright, here let me tell you. I am tired, Joe. So dang tired. I’ve been woken up probably four-hundred times this past week because emma is crying or she is hungry. And you have been such a big help and I am so, so, so grateful, but I am so dam tired. I don’t feel like myself. My body has changed for a good reason, but I don’t feel right. I’ve been feeding her 24/7 and my body hurts. And no sleep isn’t helping. So there you go, Joe. Is that what you were looking for?”- you

It stayed silent for a minute.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry it’s been hard on you. I know taking care of a baby is a lot of work especially for a mother, but you are a great mama to our beautiful baby sleeping in the other room. You are so strong, y/n. You are beautiful. In my eyes you are beautiful. You are the only gorgeous, beautiful, strong, and amazing loving girl I know.”- joe

He walked up to you. Joe put his hands on the side of your face.

“I love you, y/n. I love you so much it hurts. And our baby is the luckiest baby in the world, you know why?”- joe

“Why?”- you laugh

“Because she gets to call you her mom.”- Joe

Your eyes started to get teary.

“Everything is going to be ok.”- joe

He pulled you into him and kissed your forehead then your lips. You wrapped your arms around his body and held him tight. Some tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Shh, it’s ok baby.”- Joe

You wiped your tears and smiled

“Thank you, Joe. You are the best husband a girl could ask for and an amazing father to our little girl. She is one lucky baby to be calling you her daddy.”- you smiled

Joe smiled and kissed you.

“Thank you, baby. Ready to go to bed?”- joe

“Yeah.”- you

Joe walked to his side as you walked over to yours. You turned off your lamp and got under the covers. The dark room was quiet. Joe pulled you into him and held you tight.

“I love you, y/n Burrow.”- Joe

“I love you too, Joe burrow.”- you

————————————————————————

(Next morning)

You woke up to the smell of pancakes. You turned over to see Joe, but was no where to be found. Then you turned over to your side table to check the time.

“11:00!”- you

You pulled the cover off you and put your Ugg’s on.

You walked down the stairs as carefully as you could because you were still recovering. As you walked off the last step of the stairs you saw your family and Joes family too.

“Oh, there she is!”- your mom

“Hi!”- you said crossing your arms against your chest

You walked over to your mom and gave her a kiss.

“Hey, sweetie!”- Robin

“Hi!”- you

“All of us just wanted to see how you and the rest of the family were doing!”- Robin

“Aww that’s very sweet, but we are doing good!”- you

“How are you doing though?”- Robin said in kind of a whisper

“I’m doing ok, thank you.”- you said giving her a sweet smile

You then said good morning to your dad and Jimmy. Then came over to Joe.

“Good morning!”- Joe

“Good morning.”- you smiled

He gave you a sweet kiss.

“How are you?”- joe

“I’m good, doing ok!”- you

“How are you?”- you

“I’m good! Just making breakfast for you!”- Joe

“Aww Joe, that’s so sweet, thank you.”- you

“Of course!”- joe

“Hey, where is em?”- you

“Oh, she just went down for her nap.” Should be up soon. - your mom

“Oh, ok.”- you

Just as you spoke the baby monitor turned on. Emma was crying. You could tell it was a hungry cry.

“I will get her.”- Joe

“”It’s ok Joe, I got her. I can tell she is hungry.”-you

“You sure?”- joe

“Yeah, it’s ok baby. I will be back in a few!”- you

“Ok.”- joe

You then stared walking up the stairs and into Emma’s nursery.

“Hey, baby!”- you

You picked her up.

“Shh, shh, it’s ok. It’s ok, baby girl.”- you

You the sat down on the rocking chair to feed her. You pulled done your sweater on one of your sides and started feeding her.

“You are so precious.”- you

A few moments pasted by and you were still admiring how pretty she is.

“I love you em. Your father and I love you so much.”- you

You the stared to feel teary

“I’m sorry em. I’m just tired. Even though I slept in very late today. Jeez, why am I so tired?”- you

You chuckle at the exhaustion that is hitting you. You don’t know why though. You slept in so why are you so tired you thought.

You wiped some of your tears so your family wouldn’t see you were crying when you got downstairs. Emma was done feeding so you put her back in her crib and switched off the lights to let her get some more sleep.

You walked down the stairs to find your family sitting in the same place. The monitor was a little more close to them. It looked like they were listening in.

“Hey.”- you

They all looked at you.

Your mom got up and hugged you tight. You were a little confused at first but the you caught on. They were listening in on you in Emma’s room.

“How about we take emma for the day? Give you and Joe some time to relax and rest. How does that sound?”- your mom

You looked at Joe then back at your mom.

“Um, yeah sure.”- you

“Ok, we can pack a bag when she wakes up.”- your mom

You nod your head.

You walked over to Joe

“I’m going to go um… wash up.”- you

“Okay. Your breakfast is done, so it’s here is you want it”- Joe

“Thanks.”- you

You kissed him on the lips and went up.

“Oh honey, how long has she been like that?”- Robin

“She has been off for a bit but she talked to me about everything last night. I just don’t want her feeling this way. It hurts to see her like this.”- joe

“I know sweetie, but that why maybe you need a day just the both of you to yourselves.”- Robin

——————————————————————-

“Bye!”- you

You closed the door and went over to the kitchen. You already got dressed for the day. Which was the first time you weren’t in your pjs in over a week. You decided to clean some baby bottles and put them in the dishwasher.

Joe came walking in with his beautiful smile plastered on his face.

“Hey, burrow!” You smiled

“Hey, Mrs Burrow! What are you doing?”- Joe

He then sat down on one of three kitchen stools.

“Well, I’m cleaning. I wanted to get it out of the way.”- You

“Well how about you come relax. You need it, y/n.”- joe smiled

“When I’m finished. I’m almost done!”- you

“Okay.”- Joe

Joe stayed there talking to you about upcoming projects and practices he has going on. It was nice to talk to him that wasn’t all baby related. Even though you love your sweet emma. It has just been a lot this past week and you needed a break from it.

After cleaning you decided to watch a movie with Joe. Both of you decided on Mr and Mrs Smith.

“Want to order something to eat?”- Joe

“Sure!”-you

“How about..”- Joe

“Sushi!”- you

“That’s what I was thinking!”- Joe

“Well, great minds think alike!”- you

He then pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

“I love you.”- Joe

“Love you too.”- you

“Ok, let’s order.”- Joe

You laughed and told him what you wanted.

You were so grateful to have such an amazing husband. He is a great father to your beautiful daughter. A new chapter just opened for you and Joe and you couldn’t wait to explore it with the man you love.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! This goes out to all the mothers! It’s can be hard sometimes but always remember that people love and care about you!🩷

[princesscolumbia]

Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

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bg3 characters as retail managers in my boyfriend's* educated opinion

(*he refuses to post this so i'm doing it for him)

wyll - i think wyll would be a really chill manager, he'd let you goof off sometimes But after a while he'd still make you go do something productive. probably would have some random assignment like dusting the fucking lights or something if there's nothing to do but he's not too strict.

would get mad at a customer once and you'd be thankful you never have faced his fury (he'd never get that mean with you though)

basically the "haha yeah okay okay guys seriously go zone we can't all be standing here you're gonna get me in trouble" type of manager

lae'zel - insane workaholic. you'd dread working with her and she'd make your shift exhausting, but you also can't deny the place would go to shit without her because she's so on top of things.

you'd feel immense joy having her come up for a stupid item return that is against policy because she would absolutely never bend for it no matter how bitchy the customer got. not because she cares about you really but she'd be damned to go against policy for literally anything

karlach - literally so chill that you forget she's a manager until she has to call you to her office which freaks you out because you know you've been extremely lax around her and you forgot she actually has to do shit about that but it's actually just to give you your next raise. you love her and she loves you

shadowheart - when you first work with her you find her insanely intimidating and a little bitchy but after a few shifts you kind of get Why she's like that. wouldn't be a favorite manager but you'd probably sympathize with why she buys wine after her shift every night. if you're lucky enough to hang with her out of work you get special privileges (as in she doesn't scold you for standing still for 3 minutes like she does the others)

gale - nice, but unlike wyll who has a balance between pleasant chats and doing work, gale will literally stand there and accidentally force you to actually stop focusing on what you're working on to have a conversation with him. that can be a good thing, but then you're behind and another manager gets grumpy about it. chill guy but you never actually see him do much for his job. how did he even get to this position???

astarion - call HR.

halsin - dude knows how to run a place. he schedules everyone perfectly and there's always a feeling of harmony as you work together to get projects done. he's friendly but focused. he doesn't care if you don't finish your projects he assigns you so long as you were trying your best, but he would be a little disappointed if it happened too often

i feel like he'd definitely be the manager who actually gives the customer whatever they want even if you said you couldn't though 💀 he wouldn't be mad at you for saying no but he'd make you look like a jackass to the customer

minthara - i actually don't know her so idk but from what i gather i would say also call HR

withers - he's been with this company so long that he knows where literally everything is and every single specific policy and how to solve everything. he doesn't talk much and he doesn't really tell you what to do, he expects you to figure it out and leave him alone unless you need to ask where the most obscure item of all time is to help a customer. genuine lifesaver in those circumstances though

jaheira - the mom manager. checks on you when she notices you're clearly not feeling well. will cover any shift without complaints. you feel safe with her. she handles any difficult task because she doesn't feel like explaining to you how to do it, which is nice but as soon as you have no choice but to do it on your own you don't know how