#I have to be awake for my ED shift in 5 hours | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sugdenlovesdingle · 1 year ago

Text

It's finally done!

And only three days late!

my @911reversebang fic

California (AO3) inspired by the awesome art by redpinkdots

TK doesn't move to Austin with Owen after his OD but decides to check himself into rehab to get clean once and for all. Only reading websites is hard and things aren't exactly the way he thought they would be.

A/N: I got this idea the first time I saw the artwork and I was so excited when I got assigned this. But life™ kind of got in the way and I really struggled with this fic in more ways than one. Though I'm pretty happy with the result in the end and I hope you'll enjoy it too. And just FYI - all I know about both California and rehab facilities is what I've seen and heard in various tv shows and quick google searches... so it's probably hella inaccurate... but just go with it.

TW: Mentions of TK's overdose and addiction

TK opened his eyes and closed them again right away. The bright lights hurt his eyes and he groaned trying to remember where he was and how he’d gotten there. Because he definitely wasn’t in his bed in his apartment.

“TK? Are you awake?” a familiar voice asked but the fog in his brain wouldn’t lift enough for him to put a face and name to it.

“Welcome back mister Strand. You gave everyone quite the scare.” Someone else said and this time TK was sure he didn’t know them.

Someone, possibly the same person, adjusted his blanket and suddenly he noticed a beeping noise.

He opened his eyes a tiny bit and saw nothing but bright and white.

His brain needed a minute to process the information.

Hospital.

Again.

Shit.

He squeezed his eyes shut yet again.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here. We both are.”

“Dad?” he asked, or more like croaked. His throat hurt and his mouth was dry.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s ok. You’re going to be ok.” He felt his dad squeeze his hand.

Someone grabbed his other hand and when TK turned his head to look at them, a white hot knife was slammed into his brain.

Or at least that’s how it felt.

He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in and out a few times to get the pain to subside.

In through his nose, out through his mouth.

Suddenly a familiar scent hit his senses and this time he knew exactly what it meant.

“Mom?”

Her perfume was always a comfort to him. Ever since he was a little boy. Only now it reminded him of how much he’d let her down. Again.

“Yes sweetheart I’m here. I’m right here. You’re going to be ok. I’ll make sure of it.”

He slowly opened his eyes again and saw his mother sitting next to his hospital bed.

“What happened?”

“We were hoping you could tell us.” His dad said from his other side.

“Owen.” Gwyn warned him and then turned to her son. “You’re in hospital… they uh… they had to pump your stomach. Your dad found you in your apartment.”

“You OD-ed. You weren’t breathing. I had to use Narcan to bring you back.” Owen told him and seemed to struggle to swallow past the lump in his throat. “If we’d been just a little bit later…”

“But you weren’t.” Gwyn cut in, clearly eager to move the conversation along. “Just… try to get some rest and when you’re ready, you can tell us what happened.” She squeezed TK’s hand.

“What time is it?”

“About 4.30.” Owen answered after glancing at his watch. “Don’t worry, the nurses won’t kick us out after visiting hours.”

“No… I… I have to go.” TK said, trying to sit up and ignore the pain in his body. “My shift starts at 5. I have to go. I can’t be late.”

“Wow, wow, wow. TK calm down. Son. TK.” Owen tried, getting up from his seat and trying to make TK stay in bed.

“Tyler Kennedy Strand.” Gwyn started and TK knew he was in trouble whenever his mother used his full name. “You stay in that bed and rest until someone with MD behind their name says otherwise.”

TK considered his options for a minute and then relaxed under his father’s grip and sagged back against the bed.

Owen squeezed his shoulder.

“You’ve been through a lot. Just take your time. The guys understand.”

“They know?”

Owen glanced at Gwyn for help before taking a deep breath.

“What? What’s going on?” TK asked.

“Some of them were with me when I found you. The others I had to tell when you didn’t show up for your shift.”

“What? My shift starts at five.”

“No… Your shift started at five on Sunday. It’s Wednesday now. You’ve been in a coma for three days.”

“What? I… how… That… It can’t be.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” The voice from before said and this time TK glanced around and saw a nurse of around his age. “The doctor will be around later to asses you.” She told him and left.

“Asses me? What does that mean?”

His parents shared a look.

“I think they’ll want to do a psych evaluation… to determine if you need to be admitted as a suicide risk.” Owen said after a beat.

TK sighed and closed his eyes.

“Great.”

“Should they?”

He opened one eye.

“Should they what?”

“Admit you as a suicide risk?”

“What? No!” TK said immediately but the look on his parents faces told him he wasn’t very convincing. “I don’t know… I’m pretty tired. I think I just need to get some rest.” He turned away from Owen.

Unfortunately that meant he was now facing his mother.

“Does it have something to do with Alex?” Gwyn asked and TK felt his heart shatter all over again at the mention of his boyfriend’s name. Or ex-boyfriend now he supposed. “I know you were going to propose… and he’s not here now…”

TK threw an accusing glare over his shoulder at his father.

“You told her?”

“I didn’t realise it was a secret. You were all but shouting it from the Empire State building.”

“It wasn’t your news to share! I would have told her myself if there was something to tell!”

“So is there something to tell?” Gwyn interrupted, well trained in stopping arguments between her son and ex-husband before they could explode.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” TK said, pulling the blanket up to his ears and closing his eyes. “I’m tired.”

---

A few days, multiple tests, and a mandatory psych evaluation later, TK found himself back in his childhood bedroom in his mom’s apartment.

He’d fought his parents tooth and nail to let him go back to his own place, insisting he was fine, but they’d blatantly refused.

He’d overheard Owen making calls to clear his schedule so he could be there for him, and his mom had told him she’d be working from home for the foreseeable and it was up to him to decide which parent he’d move in with.

He’d picked her because at least she’d be working and wouldn’t be hovering over him 24/7 like his dad would if neither of them would have anything to do all day.

He knew it was because they cared, but he just wanted to wallow in peace.

He rolled over in the small single bed to check his phone. Mostly out of habit since it had died on him days ago and his charger was still on his bedside table in his apartment.

Deep down he knew that if he’d been left alone with a fully charged phone, he would have ended up doing something he’d regret.

Something like calling Alex and begging him to take him back. Or yelling at him and calling him every name under the sun.

Possibly both.

But he was petty enough not to want to admit that to either of his parents.

Suddenly a knock on his bedroom door snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Permission to enter without you taking your bad mood out on me?”

TK looked up and pushed himself up on his elbows.

“Enzo?”

“Hey kid, I come in peace.”

“What are you doing here? Did mom send you to check up on me?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.” Enzo said, sitting down in TK’s desk chair.

“That’s a yes then.” TK said and sat up. “Wait, how did you get in? I didn’t hear the doorbell and mom is at the office.”

Enzo held up a keyring with several keys on it.

“There is this great invention called keys. They let you get into places without ringing the doorbell.” He joked.

“You have a key to this place?”

“Of course.”

TK narrowed his eyes.

“Are you and mom back together?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.” Enzo replied with a grin. “And I’m not here to talk about me. How are you holding up?”

TK shrugged.

“Mostly bored. Daytime tv sucks and I’m getting sick of staring at these walls. But it’s better than mom and dad constantly hovering over me and checking up on me.”

“Don’t you think they have good reason to do that? It’s not like you stubbed your toe.”

“I know.” TK sighed and let himself fall back on his bed. “I just want to forget it happened. All of it. But I can’t. Dad put me on medical leave and mom made me come back here instead of letting me go back home.”

Enzo nodded.

“She told me.”

TK rolled onto his side, leaning on his elbow.

“She won’t leave me alone for more than an hour. She’s only gone now because she absolutely had to go to the office and couldn’t get out of it. And now she’s sent you to babysit me.”

“I’ve had worse afternoons.” Enzo shrugged.

TK let out a grunt and dropped back onto his bed again, trying to ignore the feeling of being thirteen and grounded for doing something stupid while Enzo tried to get him to talk about why he’d done what he did.

“I didn’t�� plan it…” TK started after a while. “I just… I wanted… to stop feeling.”

“And taking a bunch of pills was the way to do that?”

“I know it was stupid alright? But I wasn’t thinking clearly.” TK admitted and sat up again. “I proposed to Alex and he turned me down.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. And then he told me he was in love with his spin instructor and they’d been dating behind my back.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I thought we had a future together, he was just trying to get rid of me. I’m such an idiot.”

“You trusted the guy you fell in love with. That doesn’t sound so idiotic to me.”

TK shook his head.

“I always do this. I fall for a guy who doesn’t like me back or just wants something casual.”

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now…” Enzo started and waited until he had TK’s full attention. “But one day, and I hope that day will come soon, you’re going to meet someone who is as crazy about you as you are about him. And you’re going to be so happy. So happy that this will be nothing but a bad memory.”

“You’re right. That’s not what I want to hear.” TK told him and looked down at his duvet. “And it’s never going to happen anyway. I’m damaged goods. Nobody is going to want to be with me.”

---

“If you’re going to my place to get clean clothes you might as well take me with you.” TK pleaded with his father. “I’ll stay where you can see me the whole time, I promise. I just want my phone charger and my laptop. I’m not going to score, I’m just bored.”

It was a few days after his talk with Enzo, and after some pushing from his stepfather, he’d told his parents why he’d taken the pills.

It had both cleared the air and made them hover and smother him even more. He was going stir crazy and would do just about anything to get out of the apartment.

Owen hesitated for a minute but then sighed.

“Fine. We can’t keep you locked in here forever I suppose.”

“Exactly.” TK jumped up from his seat and went to grab his jacket. “Come on, let’s go.”

They decided to walk to TK’s apartment instead of getting the subway in the middle of rush hour.

“Maybe we can stop by the station on the way back. So I can let the guys know I’m ok and I’ll be back at work soon.”

“Back at work? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Did you call that therapist for an appointment?”

“What? No. I don’t need one. I just need to get back to work. Like you said, I can’t keep hanging around mom’s apartment all day and you can’t keep getting Enzo to check up on me when you’re at work.”

“He offered to stop by! He wanted to catch up and see how you were doing.”

“Well I’m fine.” TK insisted. “And I’d be even better if you’d let me go back to work.”

“I will. Once your therapist signs off on it.” Owen told him and then lowered his voice. “You nearly died TK. You overdosed. I know why you did it, I know it wasn’t an accident, and I can’t let you go back on shift when you’re not in the right headspace. You’d be putting the whole team at risk.”

TK rolled his eyes and started walking faster, zigzagging between commuters and groups of tourists in an attempt to shake off his dad. It was petty and childish but in that moment he didn’t care.

He reached his apartment door with Owen far enough behind to not even be in sight, which pleased his inner angry teenager greatly. He put a hand in his pocket to grab his keys, only to remember he didn’t have them on him.

His dad had been to his apartment to get him a change of clothes when he’d been released from hospital and had taken his keys.

“Great.” He muttered and sat down in front of his door to sulk and wait for his dad.

Only when he heard footsteps approaching a few minutes later, it wasn’t Owen who came round the corner.

“Alex.”

“TK. Hey.” Alex smiled and TK hated that he still got butterflies in his stomach from just being near him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just coming to see how you are. I don’t like the way we left things.” Alex explained. “I’ve been trying to call you but it keeps going to voicemail.”

“Phone is dead.” TK snapped. “And even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to talk to you.”

“Oh come on TK. People break up all the time. We can still be friends, right?”

TK snorted.

“Friends? Do you really think I want to be friends with you?” He stood up. “You broke my heart, Alex. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! I proposed!”

“Yeah… well… you always were more into it all than me.”

“Just go Alex. Leave me alone.” TK sighed and turned his back to the other man, wishing again he had his keys on him.

“I uh… actually… needed to talk to you…? I uh… lost my sunglasses. The designer ones I bought last summer? Did I leave them at your place?”

“Are you for real?!” TK exploded, just as Owen rounded the corner.

“What’s going on here?”

“I was just asking TK if I’d left my sunglasses at his place.” Alex explained, trying to sound casual. He knew full well Owen didn’t like him.

“After he dumped me for his spin instructor when I proposed to him!” TK yelled. “You cheated on me for god knows how long and if I hadn’t proposed you still wouldn’t have told me!”

“That’s not true. I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“How considerate.” TK said sarcastically. “Just go away and leave me alone. I don’t have your stupid sunglasses. Maybe ask your other boyfriend if he’s seen them.” He held his hand out to Owen. “Keys please.”

Owen handed him the keys and put himself between TK and Alex, staring the man down.

“TK doesn’t want to talk to you and if you don’t leave now, I know some people in the NYPD who might want to talk to you instead.”

“Breaking up with someone is not a crime.”

“Maybe not. But harassment is.”

“TK just let me have a quick look around for my sunglasses. I know I wore them last time I came over.” Alex said, attempting to step around Owen to get to TK but Owen stopped him with a glare and a hand on his chest.

“I think you should leave. Now. Before I do something I regret.”

“Are you threatening me Captain Strand?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Now leave.”

After a minute Alex decided to cut his losses.

“Let me know if you find them!” he called out to TK before turning and walking down the stairs.

Owen rolled his eyes and walked into TK’s apartment, doing his best to ignore the place he’d found TK barely two weeks ago, pale, cold, and barely holding onto life.

Thankfully this time, TK was alive and well and shoving clothes into a bag.

“Do you need me to grab anything?” Owen offered.

“Bathroom.” TK replied, voice breaking as if he was trying not to cry. Owen decided to leave him be for now and just busied himself gathering TK’s shampoo and shaving kit.

Maybe they could make a quick stop downtown after all on the way back to Gwyn’s place. Seeing the crew might cheer him up and take his mind off things.

---

Despite Owen’s best efforts, TK hadn’t cheered up from a visit to their firehouse and had barely left his bedroom since they’d gotten back to Gwyn’s place.

He was worried about him and he knew Gwyn was too.

Almost a week had passed without TK making any kind of move to pick himself back up and Owen had convinced Gwyn to stage an intervention with him to pull TK out of his own mind.

That’s where they were now. The three of them sat at Gwyn’s kitchen table, staring each other down, none of them really knowing where to start.

“I don’t know what your plan was, but if it was just us sitting here, staring at each other, you can do it without me.” TK said and pushed his chair back and got up.

“TK. Sit down.” Gwyn told him and reached out for his hand. “Please. Your father and I just want to talk to you.”

TK sighed and sat back down.

“About what? That I should go to therapy? Or NA? That you’ll be there for me every step of the way? That it’ll be good for me?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, gearing up for a fight.

“I got offered a job.” Owen interrupted. “In Austin, Texas. Rebuilding a firehouse that lost almost its entire crew.”

“Ok.” TK said after a minute of letting the sudden change of subject sink in. “Good for you, dad.”

“I think I’m going to take it.”

TK nodded.

“So you’re moving to Texas then.”

“Yeah… I… we… your mother and I… we both think you should come with me.”

“What? No way. My life is here. My friends, my job.”

“You’ll make new friends. Better friends.”

“Friends who don’t use.” TK deadpanned.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Owen asked. “And you’ll have a job at the firehouse with me.”

“So you can check up on me.” TK said, daring him to disagree. “And why would I move to hate crime, USA? I’m gay, dad. And Jewish. Texas isn’t the most welcoming place for people like me.”

“I’m sure a big city like Austin isn’t so bad.” Gwyn offered. “If you want to go back to temple I can reach out and ask for recommendations for LGBT+ friendly places in Austin.”

“I’m not moving to Texas!” TK yelled and got up and started pacing. “I actually found a rehab place in California. I emailed them to ask if they have a place for me. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure there was anything to tell, but if they get back to me and tell me I can come, I’m going. A few weeks of yoga on the beach and I’ll be fine. I’ll be able to go back to work and actually do the things I trained for instead of hanging around this place all day.”

“California?” Gwyn interrupted. “When did you find that place?”

“The other day. When we got back from packing up my stuff.”

“Ok. And what kind of place is it? Can you show me the website?”

“It’s just this wellness thing. I don’t have the details right now.” TK brushed her off and turned his attention to his phone when it buzzed in his pocket.

“If it’s yoga you want, I can go to yoga classes with you here. You don’t need to go to the other side of the country.” Owen offered. “Just no goat yoga. I’ve heard weird things about that.” He tried to joke to relieve the tension.

TK didn’t reply just focused on his phone.

“Everything alright? TK?”

“Uh yeah, yeah… I just got an email from that place in California I found… they have a place for me. I can start the program as soon as tomorrow.”

“That’s good isn’t it?” Gwyn asked “That’s what you wanted.”

“Yeah… I uh… just didn’t think I’d be able to start so soon.”

“You don’t have to go.” Owen said, trying to find the right words. “I mean. You can go to NA here, I can come with you. There are clinics and programs here in NYC too. You don’t have to do it all on your own. I want to help you. So does your mother.”

“I know dad… but I… I think I just… I need to get away. I just… need to put as much distance between me and… everything that’s bad for me here.” TK said as if he was telling himself why going to California was the best thing for him.

“Like Alex.”

“No. Yes. Not just him. This isn’t his fault. It’s on me.”

“Him being a lying, cheating…”

“Dad…”

“What?” Owen asked. “It sure as hell didn’t help, did it?”

TK shook his head.

“You’ve never liked him.”

“Clearly with good reason.”

“Tell me more about this place in California you found?” Gwyn interrupted, trying to get the conversation back on track. “What do they offer except yoga?”

“It’s… some kind of retreat. I think. I signed up pretty quickly so I wouldn’t change my mind.”

“But it’s a rehab facility?”

“Yeah. They have medical staff and they offer therapy. I think I’ll be good for me.”

“Why don’t you just come to Texas with me? We’ll start over together.” Owen offered. “I’m sure they have yoga classes in Texas too.”

“No, dad… I need to do this on my own. I want to do this. I want to get clean once and for all.”

“And you think going to California will help you do that?” Gwyn asked.

“Yeah. Yeah I think so.” TK told them. “And there was this guy in the academy with me. Evan B... something. He transferred to LA to be closer to his sister or whatever… I don’t really remember. But maybe I can message him when I’m done, see if there are any jobs going with the LAFD. Stay out west for a while.”

“You have a job here. And I can get you a job in Texas.” Owen said, earning him a glare from his ex-wife. “But if you think California is the right thing to do for you… we’ll both support you.

---

A few days, a maxed out credit card, a teary airport goodbye, an exhausting flight, and a three hour time difference to mess with his head later, TK stepped off the plane in California and went to the motions of reclaiming his bag.

He threw it over his shoulder and shuffled through the arrivals hall with the rest of the passengers. As soon as he walked through the doors, someone rushed past him. He wanted to snap at the guy and maybe throw in a snide comment or two, but then he saw him practically throw himself at another guy holding a heart shaped balloon and he had to look away. He couldn’t deal with happy couples right now.

Instead he made himself focus on looking for whoever the clinic had sent to pick him up.

He noticed a guy in a simple button down shirt and jeans instead of the usual corporate three piece grey suit holding a sign that, upon closer inspection, said Tyler Strand.”

“Hi. I think you’re here for me.” He told the guy, walking up to him.

“Are you Tyler Strand?”

“Yeah. I uh… go by TK actually. “Tyler Kennedy. Two first names. My parents have never agreed on anything in their lives, naming me was no different… this was their compromise.”

“Oh. Sorry about that. I just copied what was on the form.”

“It’s fine. Someone getting my name wrong is the least of my problems at the moment.”

“Yeah.” The guy said and cleared his throat. “ Uhm… Do you have everything? Your luggage?”

“Just this.” TK shrugged the shoulder his bag was hanging from.

“Alright. Let’s get going then. It’s not that far from here. Only about an hour and a half’s drive.” The guy told him and started walking. “I’m Carlos by the way.”

TK followed him out of the airport and to the parking lot where he unlocked a plain black car, thankfully without any logos or the name of the retreat on it.

“Just throw your bag in the back, it’s open.” Carlos told him and TK did as he was told before getting into the car.

They pulled out of the parking lot and soon they were onto the highway.

As much as TK tried to focus on the random pop songs playing on the radio, the guy sitting next to him intrigued him for some reason and he wanted to talk to him to find out more about him.

“So are you a therapist or just the driver?”

“I’m not a therapist.” Carlos told him, glancing back and forth between TK and the road. “Though I’ve been told I’m a good listener if you want to talk.” He shot TK a quick smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m more of an activities kind of guy.”

“Activities? What is this, summer camp?”

Carlos laughed.

“Well… in a way. Though a bit unconventional. Maybe more like boy scouts? For adults.”

“I was never a boy scout.” TK shrugged. “Born and raised in Manhattan. The most exotic place my parents took me was the Bronx zoo.”

Carlos laughed.

“I’ll try not to hold it against you.”

They made small talk about the music on the radio, the latest celebrity scandal, an upcoming superhero film, and even the weather, until TK felt himself getting drowsy and rested his head against the window, planning to close his eyes for five minutes.

The next thing he knew was Carlos gently shaking his shoulder to wake him up.

“Hey, you fell asleep about an hour ago but we’re here.”

TK rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around.

“Right. Ok. Sorry about that.”

“It’s ok. You probably needed the rest.” Carlos gave him a friendly smile and helped him grab his stuff from the trunk. “Do you want to go over the paperwork now or do you want to get settled in first?”

“Papers.” TK replied right away. “Get it over with.”

“Alright, follow me.”

Carlos lead him into a building and down a few hallways. They met a couple of people along the way and Carlos greeted them all in passing. Though they all seemed to be staff rather than patients and it made TK curious.

“How many people are here.. for uh… help?”

“About 30 in total. Not that many.” Carlos replied, opening a door with a key card. “That way we have more time to curate people’s experience based on their needs.”

TK snorted.

“Did you just quote the website?”

Carlos shot him a grin.

“What can I say, I like to be prepared.”

He opened another door and entered an office and gestured for TK to sit down.

“Just give me a minute to find everything. I don’t usually do the paperwork thing and this isn’t my office.” He explained. “I don’t have an office.”

“It’s fine.” TK shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to be.”

Carlos opened a few drawers and pulled out some forms.

“Ok, let’s get started. First question. When is the last time you used?”

“Anything?”

“Hmm.”

“On the plane here…” TK admitted reluctantly.

“What did you take?”

“Just… two little bottles of vodka from the drinks cart. To take the edge off.”

Carlos nodded and wrote down TK’s answers.

“Anything else?”

“No.”

“And before today? What was your drug of choice?”

“Anything I could get my hands on…” TK told him, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands. Thankfully the track marks on his arms weren’t nearly as bad as they could have been, but he still felt self-conscious about them.

Carlos’s eyes flicked to his arms but he didn’t acknowledge the move.

“Ok. You said you overdosed in your application, what did you use?”

“Pills… they were easiest to get…” TK answered, squirming in his seat, regretting not choosing to go to his room first.

“Oxy?”

“Yes… do we really have to do this?”

Carlos put his pen down.

“You can fill it in yourself if you’d rather… but one of us has to somehow. These need to be filled in and filed before your treatment can fully start.”

“Right.”

“Look, I know this is a lot but it’s only going to get better from here.”

“Hopefully.”

“You don’t think you can do it?”

TK sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“I want to. For my parents. I’ve caused them so much pain…”

“But…” Carlos prompted.

“But… this isn’t my first time trying to get clean.” TK sighed. “I just… don’t know if I can do it. Maybe this is as good as it gets.” He shrugged. “I get clean for a few months and then just… find a reason to score again.”

“And why shouldn’t this time be different? Why shouldn’t this time be the time you kick the habit for good?”

TK shook his head.

“I don’t know. I’m pretty tired. Can we finish this another time? Tomorrow maybe?”

Carlos smiled and TK felt a little bit of the pent up anxiety slowly slip away.

“Sure. I’ll show you to your room.”

---

The next morning TK was woken up by someone knocking on his door.

He dragged himself out of bed and opened it to see Carlos standing there in work out gear.

“Morning.” He said happily. “Are you ready to start the day?”

“What?” TK blinked and tried to wake himself up enough to figure out what was going on.

“It’s a nice morning. We’re going for a run. The others are on their way too.”

“Others? Run? What?”

“It’s part of the program you signed up for.” Carlos said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Healthy body and a healthy mind.”

“I… I don’t… I… think… uhm… I don’t understand.”

Carlos smiled.

“Not a morning person?”

“No. Yes. I mean. What the hell is going on?”

“It’s time to start the day with a run. And then when we’re done with that we can finish the paperwork from yesterday before the afternoon program starts.”

“Afternoon program?” TK shook his head in an attempt to wake himself up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The program.” Carlos said and proceeded to run TK through an itinerary that exhausted him just listening to it.

“I… What’s going on?” TK asked “Is this bootcamp for navy SEALs?”

“Hardly.” Carlos snorted “But this is what you signed up for.”

“No… I think I’d remember joining the army.”

“I know it can be a lot on your first day but you get used to it soon enough. Trust me.”

“I… I think there’s been a mistake. I was under the impression this was more… yoga on the beach and spiritual awareness and all that.”

“Well… I do yoga in my spare time, I know a few poses. I’m not an instructor or anything but we can set something up after dinner maybe.”

“After going through special ops training? I don’t think I’ll be alive.”

“It’s not so bad. Honestly.”

“Somehow I doubt that. I guess I didn’t really read the website that well when I signed up. I uh… I’m sorry for wasting your time. I’ll figure out a way to get back to the airport and see if there’s room on a flight back east any time soon.”

Carlos crossed his arms in front of his chest and TK had to force himself to not let his eyes linger on the way his muscles moved under his shirt.

“So you’re just giving up? I didn’t think you were a quitter.” He uncrossed his arms. “But I guess it’s easier to leave than to admit you can’t cut it.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Not everyone can handle this program. It’s good to know your limits. I’ll drive you back to the airport myself. Do you need to call anyone? The phone signal is kind of hit and miss out here. Mostly miss.”

TK knew Carlos was baiting him but he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

“Give me five minutes.”

---

TK considered himself to be in pretty good shape. His firefighter training made sure of that. He’d been in the top 5 of his class in the academy and could definitely hold his own compared to the more experienced members of his crew.

Only the program he’d apparently signed up for now seemed designed to actually kill him. He was sure even Navy SEALS would think it was too much.

The morning run wasn’t just a few miles in the area or even on a track, but through the woods near the facility. Uphill and down again. Avoiding tree roots, rocks, overgrown areas, and random holes.

They were running in a group but TK, as well as some other patients, were trailing behind.

Just as he was trying to figure out a route back to base camp as he’d started calling the clinic in his head, Carlos caught up with him.

“How are you holding up?”

“I don’t know. Fine.” TK panted. “Is this your tactic? Trying to kill me? If I’m dead I won’t think about wanting to use?”

Carlos chuckled.

“Has anyone ever told you, you can be pretty dramatic?”

TK grinned.

“Often. But it’s part of my charm.” He said and dropped down at the foot of a tree to catch his breath.

Carlos gestured to his coworker and the rest of the group to keep going and sat down next to him.

“So when did you decide to be an army drill sergeant?” TK asked, using his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow.

“I’m a cop actually. Or… used to be I guess.”

“That explains a lot.”

“It does?”

“You like torturing people.”

“I like helping people.” Carlos insisted. “That’s why I left the force. A friend of a friend got me this job. I figured I could do more good here than arresting people for minor offences.”

TK nodded.

“That’s… very noble of you.” He settled on.

“Try telling my family that.” Carlos sighed. “My whole family is in law enforcement somehow. My dad especially wasn’t happy when I quit my job. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps, carry on the family legacy.”

“Yeah… I know a thing or two about following in your father’s footsteps.” TK said and leaned back against the tree.

They sat in silence for a while until they heard the rest of the group coming closer and got up to join them again.

---

“So how did you end up here? You don’t seem like the typical Californian surfer dude.”

Carlos laughed.

“What do they look like then?”

TK shrugged.

“I don’t know. Not like you. More… bleached blond and beady necklaces. And flip flops.”

“Well you’ve got me there. I’m from Texas originally. Austin.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I grew up on a ranch on the outskirts of the city.”

“A ranch? So you’re a farmer? Or a cowboy?”

“Neither. Both. It’s complicated.”

TK nodded.

“Does complicated have a name?”

“Yeah. Dad.”

It had become a thing. Whenever they could get away with it, TK and Carlos would just hang out and talk. No pressure from the group sessions or the one on one talks with his assigned therapist, but just the two of them.

Since he’d gone through the worst of the withdrawal in hospital back in New York, his treatment mostly consisted of working on his mental health. And thankfully for him, talking to Carlos did just that. They had a similar sense of humour, similar complicated relationships with their families, and just generally got on well.

He’d told him about Alex, Carlos told him about marrying his best friend in an attempt to please his family.

“How did that work out for you?”

“Badly.” Carlos shrugged. “I mean we’re still friends… and my mom had a framed picture of us on display with the rest of the family pictures. For a while I told myself that meant I’d done the right thing. But it wasn’t.”

“If we were allowed to drink here, I’d buy you a beer and we could raise a glass to making bad decisions to please our parents.”

---

A few days later, the group TK was in was going on a hike with an overnight stay in the woods near the clinic.

TK was less than enthusiastic about it, and told Carlos as much (repeatedly) as he helped pack tents and other gear.

“Just think of it as going camping.” Carlos offered. “It’ll be fun. Connecting with nature and stuff. Maybe I can even smuggle in some ‘smores.”

TK gave him a blank look.

“I’m from NYC. I grew up in Manhattan. My parents are workaholics. What makes you think I ever went camping as a kid.?”

“You mean you never pitched a tent in central park?” Carlos joked. “Or maybe swam in that fountain you see in every movie?”

“I’ve done a lot of things in Central Park…” TK started. “But somehow never that.”

“Well, maybe you should. It’s good to have a goal in life.”

“Only if you come bail me out when I get arrested.”

“I don’t know, it’s kind of a long commute from here.”

TK laughed and ducked his head. Their talks had started to get a little, or a lot, flirty and he was fairly confident Carlos liked it as much as he did. Liked him.

Only every time TK thought the other man might make a move, or when he was hyping himself up to do so, Carlos would come up with some excuse that meant he had to be as far away from TK as possible for at least a couple of hours.

He wanted to ask why but also wasn’t ready for a simple answer like Carlos just not liking him like that.

So instead he said nothing and just admired Carlos from a distance and made himself talk to other people.

Which was going fine until about 15 minutes into their hike when one of the other patients tripped and fell down a hill.

TK’s first responders training kicked in and he rushed over to them, skidding and sliding down the hill.

“Let me have a look, I’m a paramedic. Don’t move.” He told the woman. He’d talked to her a few times and vaguely remembered her name was Hannah and she was from Wisconsin. He tried to examine her as best he could without his medical gear. She had a head wound and her leg was obviously broken.

He noticed someone coming down the hill after them and didn’t have to look to know it was Carlos.

“I have a first aid kit. It’s got the basics.” He said, unzipping his backpack.

With Carlos’ help, TK managed to treat Hannah’s injuries while one of the other staff members radioed for a medevac to get her out of there and to a hospital.

“Someone needs to get up there to show the helicopter where exactly we are. It’s the only place they’ll be able to land.” Carlos said, nodding at a an open place higher up from where they were and turned to TK. “How are you with heights?”

“Fine.” TK shrugged. “I’m a firefighter.”

“I thought you said you were a paramedic?”

“I am. Both. I’m dual certified.”

“Really? That’s impressive.”

They carefully climbed up to the landing spot and with help of the rest of the group and the paramedics, they got Hannah onto the helicopter and on her way to the hospital.

“You two make a pretty good team.” Luke, one of the other patients said, and TK found himself agreeing with him.

“Yeah, we do, don’t we?” Carlos said with a smile.

---

“We’ll set up camp on the other side of this river.” One of the other staff members announced as the group walked up to a river a while later.

“And how do we get there?” TK asked, fearing he already knew the answer.

“We cross it.”

“By bridge?”

Next to him Carlos laughed.

“Did they teach you to swim in firefighter training?”

“They did not actually. The only water I handled in that was the kind that’s supposed to save you from burning to death in abandoned warehouses.”

“That’s… oddly specific.” Lexi, the other staff member commented.

TK shrugged.

“It’s the easiest thing to set up for training recruits.”

“Anyway.” Carlos clapped his hands. “I hope everyone can swim because we’re going through the water to the other side of the river.”

“And how do we do that with all of the stuff we’ve been dragging around?” TK asked him.

“You tell me.”

TK raised an eyebrow.

“This is beginning to feel more and more like summer camp. Or boy scouts.”

“I thought you’d never been a boy scout?”

“I’ve seen them on tv.”

Carlos laughed.

“Well in the beginning you were calling this basic training for Navy SEALs so I guess you’re getting used to it all.” He winked and TK suddenly didn’t mind the hiking and the camping so much anymore.

After some arguing and general chaos, the group managed to work together to create some kind of raft to get them and their gear to the other side of the river, without swimming.

Only the raft wasn’t very stable and when it was TK’s turn, he leaned to one side too much, causing the raft to flip and him ending up in the water.

Thankfully it was a warm day so he didn’t mind too much. But he could’ve done without making a fool out of himself in front of Carlos.

Carlos who was getting into the water with him to help him get his stuff onto the river bank.

Carlos who looked unfairly gorgeous in a wet t shirt.

“Are you ok?” He asked TK who was trying to swim to shore with some of his dignity intact.

“Yeah. Just a bruised ego.”

After the rest of the group made it across in one piece, they all helped Carlos and TK get out of the water and see how much of their stuff was still ok to use.

“I think you two should just go dry out in the sun for a while.” Lexi told them. “We’ll lay out your tent, TK, so it can dry too.”

“My tent is big enough for the both of us.” Carlos cut in. “We’ll lay your sleeping bag out in the sun and we’ll just share my tent. If that’s ok with you?” He asked TK who was about to actually jump for joy.

“Sure.” He replied, hoping he sounded a lot more casual than he felt. “I promise I don’t snore.” He joked.

“That’s ok. I can sleep through anything. My sisters used to share a bedroom next to mine when I was a kid and they fought a lot. The walls were paper thin.” Carlos told him as he and TK made their way over to a sunny spot by some rocks near to where the rest of the group was setting up the camp.

TK sat down and closed his eyes, tilting his face up to the afternoon sun.

“We should probably get out of these wet clothes.” Carlos said after a few minutes.

TK opened his eyes and looked at him plucking at his wet t-shirt, obviously uncomfortable.

He grinned.

“Are you trying to get me naked?

“What? No, no, no. I just don’t want you to catch hypothermia. And neither do I.”

“Well, you know the best way to warm up is sharing body heat.”

Carlos looked at him for what seemed like hours and TK could practically see the cogs turning in his head, working through the various replies, trying to find one that was still the right side of professional.

Fortunately or unfortunately, he wasn’t sure, some of the other patients joined them and their little hang out for two turned into a group therapy session.

“Oh my god, look at that!” TK exclaimed a little while later. “Don’t move guys, you’ll scare him off.”

Carlos followed TK’s line of sight and noticed a small lizard sitting on a nearby rock, observing the intruders in his territory, trying to find out if they were a threat.

“Look at him, he’s so cute.” TK slowly crawled over to the lizard. “Hey buddy. Did you come to say hello?” He carefully moved his hand to try and pet the animal.

“Careful. It might bite.”

“Not if it doesn’t feel threatened. It’s just coming to take a look. He’s just a curious little guy.”

“You like reptiles?” Luke asked, the look on his face making it clear he definitely didn’t.

“Yeah. They’re gorgeous and they can make such great pets. I had a friend in middle school who had a leopard gecko. It was so cute and smart. I was over there all the time.” TK said excitedly. “I practically begged my parents for a lizard for my birthday from then on. I did all the research and worked out where to buy food and everything.”

“Did you ever get it?” Carlos asked.

TK shook his head.

“My dad wanted a dog and my mom had and still has a parrot called Ginsburg.”

“After Ruth Bader Ginsburg?”

“Yeah. My mom’s a lawyer and a politics junkie.” TK said absentmindedly, while still trying to befriend the lizard. The entire group watched with bated breath as he slowly moved his pointer finger closer to the lizard’s head.

Only right before he could have touched it, the lizard decided it had had enough and scurried off.

TK pulled a disappointed face and sat back down.

“Better luck next time.” Luke offered and TK nodded.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll get a lizard when I’m done here and going back home.”

Their little group spent the rest of the afternoon talking and just enjoying being out in nature.

By the time it started to get dark, they moved back to the place where they’d put up the tents and everyone got comfortable around the fire.

They talked, shared stories of their lives back home, and offered each other advice and support.

As the night went on, one by one people started calling it a night until it was just Carlos and TK left by the fire.

“Alone at last.” TK said as he moved to sit next to Carlos. “I thought they’d never leave us alone.”

Carlos glanced at him at smiled.

“Are you not enjoying spending time with your fellow patients?”

“They’re alright.” TK shrugged. “But I’d rather spend time with one person in particular.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He’s kind, helpful, sweet, a great listener, and absolutely insanely gorgeous.”

Carlos bit his lip.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I’m a mess.” TK shook his head.

“Maybe. But you’re a hot mess.” Carlos told him, the late hour and the bubble they found themselves in apparently turning off any filter between his brain and his mouth.

TK felt his cheeks heat up but decided to throw caution to the wind and make his move. He leaned in, looking down at Carlos’ lips and back up into the soulful brown eyes that made his heart flutter.

The moment his lips met Carlos’ he felt himself come alive in ways he hadn’t ever thought possible. It started off as nothing more than a press of lips but soon grew more heated as TK ran his tongue along Carlos’ lips until he opened up for him.

He licked into his mouth while his hands had found their way into Carlos’ hair, running his fingers through the soft curls as Carlos ran his hands over TK’s back, pulling him impossibly closer.

Somewhere in the back of his mind TK knew someone could catch them at any given moment, but the feeling of finally getting to kiss Carlos after weeks of quietly pining for him was too good to stop and he wanted more.

He moved his hands from Carlos’ hair, down to his waist and slipping them under his shirt, letting them roam over his chest and stomach.

Carlos pulled back and started kissing his neck and TK discovered he was really into that.

Only when TK’s hands moved lower and started blindly fumbling with the button on Carlos’ jeans, somehow the spell was broken and the moment was gone.

Carlos jumped up and touched his fingers to his lips.

“This… can’t happen.”

“Why not?” TK asked, getting up and taking a step towards him. “We both want it.”

“I’m supposed to be helping you. I can’t take advantage of you like this.”

TK rolled his eyes.

“It’s not taking advantage if I want it.”

Carlos shook his head.

“We can’t. I… I can’t jeopardise your sobriety like this.”

“My sobriety is my own responsibility. That’s what this program is teaching me isn’t it? To take responsibility for my actions. This is me doing that. I want to kiss you and I know you want it too.”

TK took another step forward and closed the distance between them. He slowly leaned in and put his hand on Carlos’ cheek while looking him in the eye.

“I want this.” He said before pressing his lips to Carlos’ in a soft chaste kiss that couldn’t be more different from the first one.

Carlos seemed to almost melt under his touch and TK felt his resolve slipping as he started to kiss him back.

At least until his brain caught up with the rest of his body and he pulled away again.

“I can’t. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have… I just… I can’t. If anyone finds out I’ll get fired so fast… I’m crossing so many lines.”

“I don’t care. I like you. I want this.” TK told him.

“I do care.” Carlos said, almost begging him to understand. “I want to help people get their life back on track. I can’t… do this. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have… I screwed up. I’m sorry.”

“Do you not like me?” TK asked when Carlos had to pause his rambling to take a breath.

“I do. I like you a lot. And if things were different I wouldn’t hesitate to take you out on a date or cook you dinner… But I can’t take advantage of the situation like this.”

“But you’re not.” TK said, trying to make him understand. “You’re not.”

“I am. I’m supposed to help you. I’m supposed to… I don’t know… guide you. You’re a client. I’m in a position of power.”

“What if we just forget that? Just for tonight. And tomorrow we’ll just go back to how things were before.”

Carlos gave him a small smile and TK could tell he was seriously considering it.

“I wish I could.” He replied. “But I don’t think I could go back if I let myself get lost in you. You are… a force to be reckoned with TK Strand. And I wish things were different. I wish we’d just met in a bar or getting a coffee downtown. I wish I could get to know you without all of this.”

“You could. You can. The program is almost over. Nobody has to know. I won’t tell if you don’t.” TK told him and stepped closer again. “Please don’t make me beg.”

Carlos smiled and ran a hand through TK’s hair.

“You deserve the world.” He told him. “And don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”

Carlos stepped away and disappeared into the tent, only to come back out with his sleeping bag almost right away.

“I’ll sleep out here. It’s supposed to stay dry anyway.”

“Carlos don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. I can’t share a tent with you and not touch you. I don’t think I would be able to control myself.”

“Then don’t.” TK pleaded and he could tell Carlos was this close to giving in.

He took a deep breath and made himself step away.

“If things were different…” He looked at TK and shook his head slightly. “It’s better this way.”

The rest of his time in California, TK spent mostly on his own, mourning something he’d never really had.

A few other patients noticed he and Carlos weren’t attached at the hip anymore and his assigned therapist noticed his mood had changed.

He fed all of them some line about being homesick and ended up calling his dad and agreeing to join him in Austin.

On his last day, Carlos was nowhere to be found and TK told himself to accept he just wasn’t interested.

He said goodbye to the friends he’d made and made them promise to look him up if they ever found themselves in Austin Texas. He’d slipped a note under Carlos’ door telling him the same.

“Station 126. Just ask for me.”

One of the staff members TK had only seen but never talked to drove him to the airport and wished him the best.

When he landed in Austin, his dad was waiting for him and pulled him into a hug the moment he walked through the doors after the luggage reclaim.

The house Owen had bought looked like something straight from a home improvement show and TK did his best to make it feel like home.

The dog he’d adopted was a nice distraction and TK took it out on long walks to explore Austin together.

His new coworkers were nice enough and after a few weeks of working together they’d become a close knit friend group.

He hadn’t told them about Carlos however. He hadn’t told anyone. That kiss was his memory and his alone.

Though maybe he should take Paul and Marjan up on their offer of going out to explore the Austin nightlife on their next day off.

Maybe there would be someone to make him forget about Carlos, even if just for one night.

---

“I’m just saying, when in Rome. Or… when in Texas.” A young woman in a hijab said to a black man standing near her as they cleaned the fire engine. Carlos watched them through the open bay doors for a moment before taking a deep breath and walking in.

“Hi… I’m looking for TK Strand. Does he work here?”

“That depends. Who’s asking?” the woman asked.

“I’m Carlos. I’m a… friend from California.” He settled on, not sure how much TK’s coworkers knew about him.

Confusion flashed over the woman’s face and she looked at the man who just shrugged.

“Ok. Wait here. I’ll go see if he’s available.” She instructed him and turned around and walked up some stairs.

When she returned a few minutes later TK was right behind her.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and just stared.

“Carlos? What are you doing here?”

“You told me to look you up if I ever decided to go back to Austin… here I am.”

“I… Yeah… I can see that.” TK stammered, still not quite believing what he was seeing.

The woman and the man from before were still lurking, ready to jump in the moment they deemed it necessary.

“You ok TK?” the woman asked.

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. He’s alright. He’s not the guy from New York.”

The woman nodded.

“Alright. Just yell if you need anything. There are a bunch of firefighters up there who have your back.” She said, not quite talking to TK anymore.

“I know. Thanks Marj.”

The woman nodded again and walked back up the stairs, the man following close behind.

“She’s…” Carlos trailed off, not sure what to say.

“Yeah. I told them about my ex… and my OD.”

“Oh. Good. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure what you’d told people here…”

“Thanks, but I’ve decided to stop hiding who I am.” TK shrugged. “My addiction is always going to be a part of me. Hiding it won’t change that.”

Carlos nodded.

“That’s… that’s good. I uh… I’ve decided to do the same I guess.” He told TK.

“Not hide your addiction anymore? I didn’t think you had one?”

Carlos shook his head.

“No. I mean… I’m not going to hide who I am anymore. I’m just… still kind of figuring out who that is.”

TK smiled.

“Well… the person I met in California was kind, a good listener, gentle with a slight sadistic streak.” He joked and they both laughed. “What are you really doing here Carlos?”

“I quit my job in California. I’m back in Austin.” Carlos explained. “I’m staying with a friend right now until I get a place of my own.”

“Ok.”

“I just… I know it’s been a few weeks but… I can’t get you out of my head.” He stepped forward and reached out to grab TK’s hand, smiling when TK let him. “I’d like to get to know you… without… everything… from California.”

“But the stuff from California didn’t just go away when I completed the program.”

“I know. But I also know there is more to you than just your addiction.” He took TK’s other hand in his. “Remember when I told you I’d want to cook you dinner and take you out on a date?”

“The night you insisted on sleeping outside because I’d kissed you? Yeah I remember.”

“It was the right decision at the time… but… now things are different… so… if… if you’re still interested… maybe we could… go on that date sometime? And you’d let me cook you dinner?”

“That depends, will you end up sleeping under the stars again?”

Carlos laughed.

“Maybe. If my friend won’t let us use her place. I’ll have to sleep in my car.”

“Do you have a big car?”

“No. Not exactly. I drive a Camaro. Looks cool but limited space for sleeping.”

“Well hopefully your friend will be in a good mood then.”

“Yeah… so is that a yes?”

TK smiled.

“Yeah. It’s a yes.”

Carlos’ smile got impossibly bigger.

“How does Friday sound?”

TK let go of Carlos’ hands and cupped his face.

“It’s a date.” He said and leaned in and kissed Carlos.

Somewhere behind them a chorus of cheers and wolf whistles erupted.

“I think your friends approve.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #my writing

15 notes · View notes

itsravenbitch · 3 years ago

Text

my void success story💞🦋

(1st void story)

it’s 7:30 pm right now and i got into the void last night and i’ve been processing everything ALL DAYY… chilleeee it’s overwhelmingly exciting!

so in this post i’ll tell y’all HOW i got into the void and WHAT i manifested. but yall the way i woke up is my favoritee thing ever🥰

***long post ahead***

nowww how did i get into the void

i got in at night but anytime works as y’all know

1. i did a meditation [for the 1st time] a little bit before going to bed just because .. that shits super relaxing 10/10 recommend

2. anyway i set an alarm for 5 hours cause i read it somewhere that when you do, you get sleep paralysis so mmhm that’s what i did

3. i went to sleep with the intention of the void being easy to get into and yeah. it was a cool lil 5 hours.

4. thennnn my loud ass alexa alarm went off i told her to shut up and i just lied there.. they key is when the alarm goes off you don’t open your eyes and don’t move too much. this will get your body into SP. then your mind is awake and your body is dead asleep.

*in case it wasn’t obvious already make sure you’re not falling asleep again after waking up*

6. igh so boom… here we are now in SP . at this point i just repeated a few void affirmations. and i started getting THEE floating feeling, i was elevating the WHOLE time til i stopped.. then i got this falling feeling. i literally fell all the way from where i was and then i slowed down. right after i felt this shift .. AND BOOM BITCH I WAS IN THE VOIDD!!!! it was pitch black and the rest of the other stuff you experience when you’re in the void . moving on .

all i said was “gimme the life i’ve been deserving of” and i was out that ho. 🏎

tbh i wasn’t even scared cause i was ready for any of the symptoms .

so now what you probably wanna know. what did i manifesttt ???

so overall, i basically got my dream life so here’s kinda what that looks like

🦋my physical appearance: i got my desired face and body, as well as going from itty bitty 5’2 to big mf heavy stepper 5’8 mmmhmm. i reduced my titties and shii 😂 i had really ugly finger nails but they look really well kept now: and my toenails. they look like girl toes now. my skinnnn.. i can’t stop touching it.. it’s so soft 😌

🦋a lil boo thang or whatever: ooouu i’m not gon say teww much butttt.. yall i’m allll about black love so y’all already knoww… darkskin, muscular, gives THE best hugs ANDDD he’s from brooklyn, ny. and he got the accent and his voice is deep and a lil 🤏🏽 raspy ughhh ifykyk

🦋 tesla model y and my driver’s license: so i’m 17 and i didn’t get my license at 16 like most do. i actually didn’t even go to drivers ed fr. but that all changed of courseee. and to go with it i got a tesla. i got a black exterior , white interior , model y . i got in the car and knew exactly what to do lmao i was mind blown and overwhelmed with excitement.

🦋 my parents allowing me and my sisters to smoke: ok, i would like to start with the fact that my parents are african ok? and ifykyk! so me and my older sister like to smoke a lil weed and obviously my parent weren’t cool w that but they are now and it’s so weirddd.. like me and her go to the backyard and smoke and they just ignore it.. my dad yell at the fact that we smoke in MY SISTERS car tho and i’m like bro it NOT YOUR CARRR. he need to relax, he need some weed fr.

🦋desired friend group: i live in a predominantly white area and please don’t get me wrong but i just feel like i connect with my sistas better. but again where i live limits that so y’all already know wtf i did. i manifested 3 close friends and they really make my life so much better 💞

🦋moneyyy ofc: nothing much to say but i definitely won’t be worrying about money

🦋a fun life: i go out w friends , my bf takes me on fancy dates , i have a car now, so i take my little sister shopping and i love spoiling her . school is so easy so i don’t worry about it, my days are productive but fun, i have a great social life. and i’m traveling next weeekk.

🦋school goes by fast: even though i have late arrival bc ima senior i be tryna gtfo

🦋i got a cat: vivi is my munchkin kitten she’s so so tiny and i love her but i swear she love my man more than she love me bro.. ion know i might have to get on her ass.

🦋instant manifestation forever and perfect self concept: i would say my sc before the void was decent but now it’s perfect and that was the goal. and my manifestations are instant. seconds…

that about wraps this post right tf up. uhh like i said i’ve been adjusting to my new life , experiencing new things , just enjoying my life with no job , all the money i need and my only priority being school .

if y’all want the story about how i woke up from the void lemme know and i might make a post on it .

have a great morning , afternoon , evening , or night

4K notes · View notes

thebookreader12345 · 4 years ago

Text

Shouting Match

Pairing: Sean Roman x Halstead! reader

Summary: Y/N and Sean were in what seemed like the perfect relationship, but when a close friend gets hurt, the two realize there were many faults between them and an argument ensues

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: slight swearing, mentions of alcohol and gunshot wounds

Word Count: 1,777 Words

"Jay, for the last time, I'm not gonna break up with Sean just because you don't like him," I tell my older brother.

"Why not, Y/N? I'd say that's a pretty good reason," Jay retorted as he followed me out to my car.

We had just spent the past 2 hours hanging out at Molly's so that we could catch up because it had been a while since we'd spent time together. But of course, as soon as the topic of relationships came up, a debate started that I had not wanted to get into.

"Look, Jay. I get that he's got beef with Intelligence, and they're practically your second family, but Sean's a really great guy. And once you get over whatever the hell has you fixated on him being an asshole, you'll see that. Now, I've got an early shift at Med tomorrow, and if I'm late, Will is gonna have my head. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I say before climbing into my car.

The ride to the apartment was pretty short, 5 minutes tops, and I was just happy to be home. I climbed out of my car and entered the complex, taking the stairs to get to the second floor of the building. From there, it was only a matter of seconds before I got to my door and unlocked it.

"Hey," Sean greeted from the couch as I came through the door. It wasn't weird for Sean to be in my apartment when I got home. Occasionally he'd come over so we could spend a bit of time together before our next shifts.

"Hey," I return and set my things down before joining him on the couch. I took a seat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a much needed kiss on his lips.

"How was work?" Sean asked and encircled my waist with his arms.

"You know, giving meds, checking in on patients, the usual," I reply, describing the everyday routine of my job as an ED Nurse at Chicago Med. "And then I got to spend some time with Jay at Molly's. It's always nice hanging out with him since I don't see him as often as Will. But what about you? How was patrol?"

"Fine. The only thing that happened was an attempted robbery, and we caught the guy," Sean responded. "Speaking of work, my partner's taking a day off tomorrow, so I'm gonna be partnered with Kim for the day."

I had no problem with Kim. Quite the opposite, actually. She was my best friend. However, she was also Sean's ex, so sometimes it made things weird between us. She assured me when Sean and I started dating that she was okay with it, and I believed that, but whenever the three of us were together, there was a bit of awkwardness in the room. We always got past it though, and Sean and Kim continued to be friends.

"All right. Keep each other safe, please," I plead and peck his lips before climbing off of his lap. "I've got an early shift tomorrow, so I'm gonna head to bed."

"Goodnight," Sean called after me. I ditched the clothes I was wearing, throwing them in the hamper with one toss. After I put on some pajamas, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes. Minutes later, I was fast asleep.

............................................

"Y/N, that's your second cup of coffee this morning," Maggie pointed out as she joined me at the nurses' station.

"Yeah. And...?" I trailed off, not seeing the problem.

"Late night?" Maggie questioned.

I shook my head. "No, actually. I made Jay promise not to keep me at Molly's past 10, and he stayed true to that. Today I'm just enjoying my caffeine." Just then, Maggie's pager beeped, and when she glanced down at it, she frowned.

"Incoming! Choi, you're up!" Maggie yelled into the ED. Ethan was the doctor I worked with the most, and I had no problem with it. We had grown to be close friends, and we worked quite well together. So, whenever it was his turn to accept an incoming trauma, I always followed to help him out. I thought today would be the same, but that all changed when the gurney was wheeled through the ambulance bay doors.

"Kim Burgess, late 20s, gunshot wound to the neck. Weak pulse. We intubated in the field," Courtney, the paramedic, informed us. My whole world seemed to stop as I watched my best friend get wheeled past me. And seeing her unconscious made things 100% worse.

"Y/N, you coming?" Ethan quizzed as he led the gurney into the nearest trauma room.

"I uh... Mags, c-can you...?" I stammer out, not even needing to finish my sentence for Maggie to understand what I was asking.

"I've got this," Maggie assured me and followed Ethan into the trauma room. Seconds after Kim was wheeled in, Sean entered the ED, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on me.

"Y/N!" Sean shouted and joined me by the nurses' station. "How's Kim doing?"

"I don't know," I confess and glance towards the trauma room she was situated in. "I make it a rule to not work on anyone I'm close with. What the hell happened? You guys were just supposed to be on a routine patrol."

"Intelligence called us up," Sean answered. "We were working a drug case and we ended up having to chase the guy down an alleyway."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You promised you'd keep Kim safe. You promised, Sean. So where were you when she was being shot at?" I implore harshly.

"I was taking cover like I was supposed to! We didn't have an eye so I ducked down behind a dumpster. What, you think this was my fault?" Sean asked.

"You're her partner, Sean. It's your job to protect her. Yet here she is with a bullet buried in her neck," I return.

"You're acting like I told her to make a move," Sean countered. "She put her own life in danger. I had nothing to do with that."

I scoffed. "You had everything to do with it."

"I don't think we should be having this argument here," Sean whispered.

"Well I think we should," I retort.

"Y/N," Sean started.

"Don't 'Y/N' me," I seethe. By now, the whole ED was staring at us, but I didn't care right now. "My best friend is dying because of you!"

"If it was me in there instead of Kim, would you be yelling at her?" Sean posed. "Cause I think you'd be trying to reassure her that none of it was her fault. So, what? Kim takes priority over me, your boyfriend?"

"At the moment, yeah," I reply and cross my arms over my chest.

"Just at the moment? I think she always has," Sean accused. "And if that doesn't speak to how our relationship is, then I don't know what does."

"What are you trying to say?" I ask.

"I'm not trying to say anything. I'm telling you that I'm through with this. I'm through with you," Sean emphasized. "We're done." As Sean stalked off back towards the lobby, everything he said really hit me.

We were done.

"Y/N? You okay?" Adam questioned once he noticed that I had practically froze in the middle of the ED.

"Excuse me," I murmur and push past him politely. My body was begging me for some fresh air to help calm myself down, so I made my way out of the ED, but that involved going through the lobby where Sean and the rest of the 21st district was waiting. I hoped that I wouldn't catch anyone's attention, but I should've known better.

"Y/N," Jay said and stood up when he saw me. However, instead of stopping to talk to him, I made a beeline straight for the exit. The automatic doors opened when I stepped near them, allowing a nice breeze to hit my face. My feet carried me to the front of the hospital where I took a seat against the side of the building and placed my head in my hands. That's when the tears began to flow, but I didn't stop them. Minutes later, I was joined by Jay, who took a seat next to me. For a few seconds, we sat in silence, but then Jay spoke up. "Natalie told me what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it," I mutter without removing my head from my arms.

"Well, as family, we're required to," Jay declared. "I told you Roman was an ass."

I laughed softly and picked my head up, resting it against the wall behind me. "I now see why you thought that. So everyone in the ED heard?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah. But don't worry. I'm sure they're all thinking the same thing as I am. Want me to have a talk with Roman?"

I shook my head. "No, but thank you for offering. I uh, I need to get back inside. We're low on nurses today. I'll talk to you later, Jay."

Jay's POV

A few hours later, Kim was awake and doing well, and I was just glad that she would be making a full recovery. As Adam and I were exiting her room, we just so happened to bump into Sean Roman, the girl who just, not even hours prior, broke my little sister's heart.

"Hey, guys," Sean greeted. "Is she awake?""

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you for real?"

Sean frowned. "What?"

"You broke up with my sister, that's what. Get the hell out of here!" I demand.

"But-"

Adam cut Sean off. "Kim doesn't want to talk to you. Not after what happened between you and Y/N. And I'd advise you follow Jay's orders."

Sean hesitated, but sighed. "Fine." He then walked off, leaving Adam and I standing alone in front of Kim's hospital room.

"All right man, I'm gonna head out. I promised Y/N that Will and I would come over after her shift, which is ending in like 20 minutes, so I've gotta pick up some pizza and beers."

"Okay. I'm gonna stay and keep Kim company. Have a good night," Adam spoke.

"Yeah man. You too," I return. And with that, I left the hospital to go spend some much needed quality time with my sister. Y/N would probably be hurting for a few days, but Will and I agreed that we'd be there for her every step of the way because that's what big brothers were for.

______________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13 @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone @i-like-sparkly-things

234 notes · View notes

buckaroosboogara · 3 years ago

Text

911 week - Day 4:

“It’s always been you.” + love

(1700~ words, Buck and Eddie, blackout fic.)

@911week

"How long have we been here? Are you okay?" Buck asked, his throat begging for water.

"We have been here for," Eddie looked at his watch, the only source of light in the elevator. "3 hours."

"Are you okay?" He asked one more time.

Eddie's silence dragged for almost a minute before Buck spoke again.

"I need to know if you are hurt."

"I'm fine... physically." He finally said, taking air sharply. "The darkness and tight space... it reminds me of..."

"The well accident. Fuck."

The first thing Buck noticed when he woke up was that he was in a dark place.

It was hot, closed, and pitch-black. Tight.

He didn't like the implications of that.

He tried to move from his laying position only to be stopped by a stabbing pain in his skull.

Buck hissed as he laid on the floor again and a voice sounded in the dark, quiet but worried.

"Hey, hey, Buck, you are awake," The voice said out of breath. Buck felt a hand come to his shoulder clumsily and pat him. "Welcome back."

Buck grunted. His throat was dry and his mouth felt like sand, contrary to his skin which felt soaked in sweat. At least the pain was more bearable.

He turned on his back to sense the voice's owner, Eddie, sitting next to him on the floor. "What happened?"

"What happened was that we were helping a woman out of this elevator when the lights went off again and the elevator went down some stores before I pressed the emergency button." Eddie explained, with his breaths still shaky. "You hit your head pretty bad and I bandaged it with what I could. The radios don't work here, so I'm hoping Bobby will notice we are not out there with them."

Buck's hand climbed to his wet forehead where a piece of cloth was held to his skin with two pieces of tape. Rough but it would work.

"What happened with our coats' flashlights? And our helmets?"

"They ran out of battery, we used them for 8 hours straight Buck." Eddie yawned. "I took mine off as well as yours, this place feels like an oven. And the helmets... they are somewhere here."

"I kind of became desperate when I couldn't see or hear you. I haven't been able to look for them." Eddie huffed.

"And how long have we been here? Are you okay?" Buck asked, his throat begging for water.

"We have been here for," Eddie looked at his watch, the only source of light in the elevator. "3 hours."

"Are you okay?" He asked one more time.

Eddie's silence dragged for almost a minute before Buck spoke again.

"I need to know if you are hurt."

"I'm fine... physically." He finally said, taking air sharply. "The darkness and tight space... it reminds me of..."

"The well accident." Buck said with a huff. "Fuck, Eds I..."

"I am fine." Eddie forced out through his gritted teeth.

"Eddie-"

"No. I'm fine. End of conversation, we need to keep the oxygen."

Buck nodded although Eddie couldn't see him.

So he would of course avoid the topic.

He heard Eddie place his head against the metallic wall and breathe with difficulty.

Buck rolled his eyes, he knew how stubborn Eddie could be and he didn't need that in stressful moments like that one.

"Have any news about Chris?"

"Nope. My phone died like an hour ago," Eddie answered. "I couldn't find yours."

"Well, that's because mine is..." Buck muttered as he looked for the device on the back pocket of his pants. "Safe on my ass."

Eddie snorted a laugh and Buck smiled, mission accomplished.

The phone almost slipped from his hands and the air was taken from his lungs.

He turned it on and the light made him hiss. He could now see the elevator - it was indeed very small - and he could see Eddie, who was very much shirtless. His shirt was on his shoulders, missing the piece that was on his head.

"I-I guess I'll have to buy a new one. Great." He said, avoiding to look at the man by his side.

The device buzzed with a notification of very low battery, only 5%, and Buck noticed the screen had cracked in the fall.

"I could buy you one, after all, it's my fault that it's broken. Now give me." Eddie spoke and Buck did as told.

"So, what's the diagnosis doc?"

The former medic proceeded to turn the flashlight on and crouched in front of Buck to check his pupils.

"Pupils are matching, but you will need a CT scan once we get out of here."

Buck groaned again. He hated those.

Eddie passed Buck his phone but stayed still in front of him for some seconds.

Apart from being very much shirtless, Buck noticed he was very much pale and shaking. There was fear in his shiny eyes, which were scanning him in detail.

A hyperfixation.

Buck closed his eyes as he sighed, he should have known.

"Are you having a panic or anxiety attack?"

Eddie went back to his side feeling embarrassed and huffed a humorless laugh, "Honestly... I don't know. It just feels bad."

Buck shifted positions to look fully at Eddie. "It's okay. I'm here Eddie, I just need you to breathe. Will you do it with me?"

Eddie nodded, the world went black again.

His phone had died.

Eddie's breaths went faster.

"No, no, don't do that. You are going to hyperventilate and we don't want that." Buck grabbed Eddie's hand and squeezed it. "I'm here okay? I'm here with you. We are going to breathe together, how about that?"

"O-Okay."

"Inhale, one... two... three... four... yeah like that, and exhale, one... two... three... four..."

Some minutes later Eddie could calm down, the shudders went away with the cold sweat and they stayed in silence. Buck's hand was still tangled with Eddie's, on the other man's lap.

That encouraged Eddie to voice his thoughts.

"I... I hadn't remembered what it felt like until today. Not for years." He whispered into the air.

"I could have died. But I remembered a promise I made Chris once." Eddie turned his head to watch Buck. He found pitch-black that somehow made it easier to talk. "That I would always fight to come back to my family."

Eddie looked at the front again and simply said, "You are my family."

He felt Buck's body tensing by his side as he started stuttering. "I- I Eddie-"

"Why did you think I changed my will? I trust you more than I trust my own parents." He scoffed bitterly, squeezing his hand.

"I... I thought you only saw me as your best friend."

"If you knew..." he shut his mouth quickly. He had gone too far.

How could he have gone that far? Voicing his thoughts didn't mean telling Buck the truth about the things he felt for him. About the warm wave of happiness that washed over him every time they locked eyes. Every time Buck smiled. Every time Buck was with Chris.

The feeling of home never faded whenever he was with Buck, instead, it gained strength every time they saw each other.

"If I knew... what?" Buck asked and Eddie could feel his look on his side. His cheeks started to burn.

"Eddie-?" Buck was cut by hot lips on his cheek, giving him just a sweet short peck and going away. He gasped and Eddie tried to untangle their hands but Buck grabbed him tighter.

With his heart running wild on his chest, he reached a hand into the darkness and found a chest, he went up until he found Eddie's chin and clumsily made their lips meet halfway.

The kiss turned to be as good as a kiss in the darkness could be.

So unexpected, so romantic.

It was a mess. Both were a hot, sticky mess - in the good way, not the horny one - in a dark elevator at 5 am, sealing their mouths in their first kiss.

Buck loved it.

Eddie loved it too.

They separated to catch up with their breaths and smiled to the dark.

"If you knew," Eddie started, feeling Buck's head resting on his chest. "That it’s always been you, Buck.”

"I always saw you, Evan Buckley. For who you are, your good things and your bad things. I've seen your worst and your best, and I wanna be there for and with you in them for the rest of our lives."

"Ever since I saw you in the firehouse for the first time, since I saw you smiling in your car when we went to look for Christopher after the earthquake, since I saw you pinned under that truck... I have always known it's you. You who I want to experience life. You who I wanna watch Chris grow. You who I wanna marry someday. You who I wanna grow old with." Eddie answered with a smile.

"I love you too."

"Eddie... Oh god, all this time you... Fuck, I- I want that too." Buck chuckled, placing his hand carefully on his jawline and pulling him for another kiss.

"I love you."

The last thing they expected next was to hear the 118 outside the doors, having heard half of the conversation.

"As much as I love listening to you two getting your shit together-" Hen's voice cut through the elevator's doors. "And I really love it, we need to get you two outta there so, Albert! Bring the jaws!"

Then cheers were heard as both were freed from the elevator, coming out half hugging the other.

"You should have told me it would take you some hours in a sauna to get together! I would have gladly paid!" Chimney teased them.

"Amen, you said it, Chim." Hen agreed, making Buck seat on the gurney and transporting him down with the rest of the crew.

She checked both of them once they were in the parked ambulance and exclaimed to the street, "You all owe me 20 bucks each!"

The couple heard the whole 118 groan before they closed the ambulance doors and started making their way to the hospital, the light of the sunrise illuminating the city which was slowly recovering the electricity.

"You had a bet on us?" Buck whined from the gurney.

"Yup, and I just won. Took you three years and a month, but who's counting?" Hen smirked.

Eddie rolled his eyes fondly and took Buck's hand. "You can have all the bucks you want Hen. I already have the one I love."

(Tagging: @perfectlynervousbeard bc they asked me)

Chimney cried from the front, "Ugh, they are going to be that type of couple."

...

#911week2021 #:)#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck and eddie #buck x eddie #911 the blackout #911 speculation #blackout fic #911 on fox #911 fox #soft #love #my fics

70 notes · View notes

onechicagorpf · 5 years ago

Text

Not A Stranger - Part 3

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)

Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…

Read Part 1 here Read Part 2 here Read Part 4 here

Warnings: SMUT. A little bit of R-rated smut! Swearing, the usual cuss words. Some angst/PTSD, although it’s not overtly discussed. Dubious medical content (discussion of amputation & blood), some of which has been shamelessly lifted from a season 3 episode of Code Black!

A/N: So there’s definitely going to be a Part 4, lol! I’ll try and have it out by this time next week. Send me asks/messages/leave a note if you liked this and want to see more - it really makes me feel so much less insecure about my writing ahaha! Also do send me short prompts or requests that I can fill as blurbs (i.e. nothing that’s going to be a several chapter story - I will request those later on!) - preferably for Jay but I can do Will as well! Female!Halstead sibling is also okay :) Anyway enough talking, enjoy!

PS: I make mention of bearded Jay in this chapter; this gif is totally the version of him I had in my head for this chapter!

"Walter Holden. 16 years old, victim of an auto accident, came in with a dislocated right leg."

There's droplets of rain on the other side of the windows. It blurs the view - all of a sudden, the buildings you can usually see from the 13th floor of the hospital are just fuzzy, beige blocks.

"Preliminary exam showed no other major trauma, and his vital signs were strong. His leg just had to be reset."

A shudder goes down your spine - was the hospital's conference room always this cold? Well, you don't know - you've never been in here before.

"Dr Halstead advised 10 mil of morphine, but the patient refused pain medication, and the leg was reset. It was at this point that Dr Halstead handed the patient off to Dr Y/L/N, requesting her to evaluate his leg for blood flow."

There's been a strange tapping noise for the last 5 minutes, but only now do you realise it's your fingers against the oval, wooden table.

"Dr Y/L/N? Dr Y/L/N!" You snap out of your reverie and look up. Dr Lanik's glaring at you. You apologise. He takes his seat, next to Mrs Goodwin and Will, both of whom send you a soft smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes. They're trying to be reassuring, but it doesn't matter - you're ready to drown yourself.

Clearing your throat, you speak. "I was instructed to evaluate his right leg for blood flow. I did so by checking his pulses, uh, dorsalis pedis and posterior tibialis." You pause, as some of the other occupants in the conference room - all members of the board or lawyers, all wearing pristine suits and a cold, calculating expression - turned to look at each other.

You clear your throat again. "It was a uh, a textbook exam."

"I'm sorry, in which textbook does it say to check for an arterial injury by just palpating a pulse?" Dr Lanik cuts in sharp. Will closes his eyes, as you struggle to breath normally.

"90% of all patients - "

"I can't hear you, Dr Y/L/N." Dr Lanik's voice booms across the room, and Will's had it.

"This is ridiculous, there's no need to be intimidating her like this - she's a first year resident and - "

"And she was satisfied with a pulse check to evaluate blood flow? Do I need to remind everyone here that the acceptable course of action in this scenario is to order a doppler or an ABI? That boy's leg was sitting for ages without proper blood flow, and eventually the best we could do for him was amputate it."

Will shakes his head vehemently. "Pathology's looked over the leg - they determined that the severity of the accident combined with the amount of time it took CFD to extricate Holden from the car meant that his leg wasn't viable before he even stepped into the ED." Will turns to you, his eyes piercing as he spoke directly to you.

"There was nothing you could've done that would've changed the outcome. Nothing."

You take a deep breath. You don't nod.

"Alright, we've heard everything we need to hear." The head of the legal department says, after a few moments of discussion with the board members. "Given the findings from Pathology, we will not be terminating Dr Y/L/N's employment here at Chicago Med. However, we recommend that her OR privileges be revoked, and that she is attached to an attending for a duration of 2 months, by which point hopefully she will learn that not every case is a textbook case." She stares directly at you. "Dismissed." Chairs scrape against the floor as everyone makes their leave.

Will places his hand on your shoulder, and you realise you haven't moved even after everyone's left.

His voice is soft. "We all make mistakes. And - "

"I could've been the reason he lost his leg. If he'd come in with ample time to save the leg, and I just - and I just didn't realise it, I could've been the reason a kid had to lose a leg." There's tears in your eyes as you turn to look at Will, who just sighs.

"Yeah. But that's not what happened."

"I got lucky." You shrug, tears freely streaming down your face now. "I just got lucky."

Will doesn't say anything. He just hugs you.

***

It's not the kind of thing you just get over, you realise, because it's been 5 days since it happened but you can't get it out of your head. You've been barely getting any sleep; often you jerk awake in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning, after which it's next to impossible to fall asleep again. It's also affecting your work more than just making you tired - you keep second-guessing your medical judgements, deferring to Will or Natalie or Ethan for anything and everything. None of them bite at you for it, because they know what's going on and they know what you're going through, but some part of you wishes they would. Wishes that they'd just grab you by the shoulders and shake you, and say "Be a damn doctor."

Dr Charles met with you for lunch earlier today, and you lamented your troubles. The kind and thoughtful psychiatrist patiently listened, before giving you some wisdom you needed to hear. Amongst which was "find a distraction".

"You mean focus on something else?" You asked, chasing a watermelon cube at the bottom of your fruit cup.

"Yeah, but it's a little bit of a dangerous tactic. See, you don't want to distract yourself from dealing with the pain and the guilt you feel, because emotions don't tend to go away when you suppress them like that. But if you're having trouble processing it, it can be helpful to take your mind off of it for a while, wait til some time has passed and it's not so...intense. And maybe then it'll be easier to tackle and get over, y'know?" Dr Charles advised and you nodded, taking it in.

You think about what exactly you could do to distract yourself as you finish your shift and make your way towards your car in the parking lot.

Maybe I should take up painting?

The thought of yourself - little miss notoriously bad at anything artsy - trying to paint has you chuckling softly. You're about to give up on this whole distract yourself thing when, as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text message. You get into your car, turn on the heating, and pull out your phone.

J.H. 11:32PM

So...guess who's back :)

You can't help the smile on your face. Jay's been undercover for the past week - it actually got started the next morning after the night you went over for "hockey". He'd gotten a text early in the morning asking him to come in, and so the two of you had actually barely spoken since...the festivities of that night.

You 11:33PM

Congrats, detective :)

J.H. 11:33PM

Wanna come over and help me celebrate?

Huh. Well maybe Dr Charles wasn't off-target with the whole "distract yourself" thing - although you're positive having meaningless sex is probably not one of the healthy methods of distraction that he was envisioning.

But quickly, you realise it doesn't matter - ever since what happened, you haven't been sleeping well at night. It's been close to 6 days and you're wrecked, so maybe some good, tires-you-out-completely sex is exactly what you need?

You 11:34PM

Be there in 15

J.H. 11:34PM

Can't wait :)

Your lips curve into a smile as you pull out of the parking lot and down into the main road.

***

"I've been waiting to do this...for so long..." Jay murmurs in your ear before pressing kisses down the side of your neck, his hands roaming all over your body. You tilt your head to the side, exposing the expanse of your neck to him.

“It’s only been…a couple ‘a days…” You reply softly, and you feel Jay’s huffs of soft laughter into your neck. You turn to look at him, pulling away. “What?”

There’s a teasing smile on his face. “Most women take it as a compliment if a guy says he hasn’t stopped thinking about her.”

You shake you head, putting on a teasing look, “Uh-uh, that’s not what you said, you said you’ve been wanting to do this – ”

“It was implied – ”

“It wasn’t implied and even if it was – ”

“It was implied and even if it wasn’t, that’s still a compliment.” Jay says pointedly, a huge grin on his face. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to hide the growing smile on your face. He chuckles, seeing right through you.

You smack his arm. “You keep laughing at me in bed and I’m gonna get mad.” This gets Jay full-on laughing, and your jaw drops in pretend-outrage. “You fucking – ”

“No, no, no c’mere – ” Jay pacifies you, leaning over you, arms on either side of you as he starts to kiss your face, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. But there’s still the slightest smile pulling up the corners of his lips, and when he presses them to your lips, you can’t help but laugh into the kiss. Jay reaches up and holds your face, the kiss becoming soft, loving, drawn-out, and some feeling deep in your core tells you you’re just…somewhere else right now. You don’t know how to describe it, other than that everything in this moment feels perfect, feels right.

A shiver goes down your spine, and maybe it’s because Jay’s shifted, and is now sucking a spot on the base of your neck, hard and strong and deep, and his hands are skimming downwards, unbuttoning your soft cotton top before unzipping your jeans. And maybe it’s because you don’t know what the fuck you are doing here, with him, with all of this. You think about how wrong this is, how bad this is, how his brother’s your boss and this was just supposed to be one drunken hookup and then it became two (except you weren’t even drunk that time) and now it’s about to become three –

“Y/N?” Jay calls softly, and you look at him – his hands resting gently over the hem of your panties, his face hovering over the space between your legs, and the look of…almost reverence in his shining green eyes.

You stop thinking.

Your hands reach downward, sliding your panties off and Jay eagerly helps, getting them off completely. Just like last time, Jay draws out the foreplay – kissing, licking, and nipping at the skin of your inner thighs, making the heat in your core build. Running your fingers through his dark hair, you yank it a little to get him to get going, and he pinches your hip – a quick slap of the wrist. Laughing, you repeat the action, pulling on his hair, and he groans.

“You’re real impatient, you know?”

“Jayyyyyyyy,” You whine, pouting down at him. He’s got this look of a predator – a confident, cocky smile on his face. Jay dips his head down, his mouth making contact with your cunt.

“There we go,” You murmur, gasping as you feel his hot breath on your most sensitive regions. Jay’s hands grip tight into your supple skin, holding your thighs open for him as his tongue circles your opening. Your back arcs as you moan, the sensation of his tongue on you setting off what feels like fireworks in your head. Jay’s mouth presses into you, hard and deep, his tongue licking and lapping at your now sopping wet cunt.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck – ” You whisper, eyelids fluttering shut as Jay softly flicks his tongue over your clit. He repeats the motion, going up and down, teasing your clit and your hip jerks upwards sharply in response. Settling your ass back down against his soft sheets, you catch your breath and mutter a soft apology – “Shit, sorry,” – and Jay taps your thigh, a silent “don’t worry about it”, as he’s nosed his way back between your legs immediately.

Jay laps at your folds and you try to keep your head about you, try to not lose your mind, but it just feels so good. He sucks your clit into his mouth gently and your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Oh my god, ohhh my god – fuck!” You whimper, as he keeps sucking your clit, pausing to flick his tongue over it. Your fingers clutch the sheets around you hard enough to rip holes in them. The loud moans out of your mouth are bordering on screams. The feeling in your core, the heat, starts rising like a wave reaching a shore –

“I’m gonna – I’m gonna – I’m gonna – ah, ah, ahhhh – fuck! Fuck, fuck – Jay! Jay!” You scream, your vision whiting out completely as you arch off the bed, riding out the waves of pleasure wrecking your body. You hands fly downwards to grab Jay’s head as you jerk away from his still-working mouth, your oversensitive clit causing tears to pool in your eyes. Pulling him up, you whisper his name over and over again, like he’s the only gospel you know. Jay shifts up, laying down next to you and pulling you close, your bodies fitting into each other like a perfect pair of puzzle pieces. You look at him through your teary eyes and all you see are his green irises staring right back at you with a measure of something dark and lustful in them. You hold his face in your hands, running a thumb over the rough stubble of his cheeks, his jaw, where a soft beard has started to grow. His lips are glossy and wet, from you, and you see now there’s a soft pink line going across his nose that you trace with your hands, frowning.

“I’m okay,” Jay says in a soothing voice.

“What happened?” You ask, concerned, the frown between your eyebrows deepening as you look up at him.

A soft smile. “Kinda got into a fight. Guy tried to punch me, I dodged it, but his fingernail scratched me. It’s fine.” Jay replies quickly, and his face is so close to yours that you’re breathing the same air. You don’t say anything, but you must still be frowning because Jay speaks again. “It’s literally just a scratch.” You hum softly in response, running your hands down his front, unbuttoning his shirt, scanning the expanse of his chest and abdomen with your fingertips and your eyes.

Jay lifts your chin and you turn back to him. “What?”

“Are you checking me for other injuries?” He asks, chuckling. You look back down, pausing for a moment. “Maybe…it’s not like you’d tell me if you got hurt, right?” Jay just laughs, and there’s your answer. You ignore the burgeoning feelings in your heart of some kind of dejection.

Your fingers run over a sliver of raised skin, on his lower right flank. It’s a thin, pale pink scar that runs about 3 inches. You work in an ED – you know exactly what this is.

“You were stabbed?” You ask, stunned. “When?”

Jay sighs, grabbing your fingers in his hand and holding them closed. “Army stuff. Not a big deal.” He pushes your fingers away to your own body, and then reaches for the blanket and pulls it up over the two of you, like as if the conversation’s over.

“You don’t want to talk about the Army,” you point out, as Jay lays on his back, some distance between the two of you. He sighs again, looking upwards at the ceiling. “Is that a question or a statement?”

You know you shouldn’t push, but you do anyway.

“You should talk to someone about it – ”

“I talk to people about it. I have.” Jay’s voice is tight. He’s still not looking at you.

“You can talk to me about it...” You say, and you’re terrified. Because what you’re really asking is “Do you think I’m close enough, do you care about me enough to let me in?”.

Jay turns to you, a soft smile on his face. “It’s fine. I’ve got other people for that.”

Hiding the immense desolation that’s weighing like an anchor on your chest from showing, you just send a shallow smile his way.

He’s got other people for that. He’s got other people for sharing his feelings, his pain, his suffering, his life. He doesn’t want you for that, I mean, why would he share all of that with you? You’re just a warm body – some random girl he’s having sex with. Nothing more.

You pull the blankets tighter around you, turning away from Jay. Trying your best to quell the wave of sadness flooding what feels like every single part of you, you drift asleep.

***

“Dr Y/N?”

You turn, and there’s Walter Holden on a bed in the ED.

“Walter?” You walk to his side, stunned. He’s crying – tears spilling out of his soft baby blue eyes, his youthful face scrunched up in pain and anguish.

“Why did you do this to me? Why?!” He yells, his voice cracking. You shake your head. “Walter, Walter I’m so sorry – I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to – ” You choke on your words, and as you look down the bed you realise that Walter’s amputated leg is bleeding at the stump.

“Oh god, oh my god – ” You get up, shocked as the blood starts gushing. Walter screams.

“Help me! Dr Y/N – help me! Help me!”

You hear your heart hammering in your ears, your head is spinning, you stand up and you feel faint.

Will rushes into the room. He starts holding as much gauze as he can to Walter’s leg. Nurses and doctors flood the room, and they begin moving Walter out. You’re standing, back pressed to the treatment room wall, aghast.

Will turns to you, his face red with rage. “What are you even doing?! Fucking hell, Y/N – you can’t do anything right?!”

There’s a painful lump in your throat, and you can’t breathe. Something grabs your hand and you snap your head. It’s Walter, and as they wheel his bed out, he looks at you with so much fury and torment in his eyes.

“YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE A DOCTOR!”

“No, no, no, I’m so sorry Walter, I’m so sorry – I’m so sorry – this can’t be happening, no, no no no – ” Tears stream down your face and you start shaking. Your knees buckle, and you fall to the ground, sobs wracking your body. Somewhere in the distance, you hear your name being called, but you can’t answer, you can’t do this anymore, you can’t – you just can’t…

“Y/N! Y/N!”

You jolt, your eyes flying open. Jay’s over you, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes wide, concerned, his hands holding your shoulders where you realise he’s been shaking you – shaking you because – because –

Fuck.

It was a fucking nightmare. Again.

You let out a cry of pain, bringing your hands up to cover your face. “Breathe, just breathe.” Jay says softly, rubbing your arms up and down.

After about a minute, when you don’t feel so shaken anymore, you wipe your eyes and slowly sit up. Jay shifts with you, sitting right next to you. You can’t look him in the eyes.

“I’m – I’m sorry I woke you,” you whisper to your palms, resting atop your folded legs.

“Don’t – don’t worry about that. Y/N, what happened? It sounded pretty bad…” Jay says and you shake your head.

“I’m fine, it’s fine – ” Your hands run through your hair roughly. You need to go. You need to go – you need to leave – you can’t be here –you can’t be here with him –

“Hey. Hey,” Jay repeats, when you don’t answer. He reaches across and his warm hard gently grabs your face, trying to get you to look at him but you just push his hand away. You get up, grabbing your underwear and jeans from the ground and start getting dressed.

“Y/N!” Jay gets off the bed, and comes to you. You sidestep him, or at least you try to, but he’s much taller than you and his shoulders are broad; he stands in your way and grabs your arms softly.

“Y/N, look at me – ”

“Why?”

You give him what he wants. You look up at him, you stare him directly in his eyes, shaking in anger and fear and what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders.

“Hmm? Why? This isn’t – you don’t care – what does it matter –” You yell at him, your mind frazzled as you fall apart in his arms.

The frown on Jay’s face gets deeper, and he shakes his head, leaning close. “Hey, talk to me. C’mon, you can talk to me – ”

“Why the fuck would I talk to you? You’re just some guy I’m sleeping with!” You spit harshly, shaking his hands off and stepping back. Jay’s mouth falls open, and his shoulders sag. His face contorts into something awful - dismay, defeat, hurt.

For a moment, you want to run back into his arms – apologise, say you didn’t mean it, say you’re just scared – but you don’t. You move around him, grabbing your shirt. You put it on and make your way out of his bedroom, and out of his apartment.

You don’t know why you said what you did. Actually, scratch that, you know exactly why you said that. In fact, you know exactly why you’re what you’re doing.

Every relationship you’ve ever had up to this point’s fucked you over. Every single one. You’ve been cheated on, you’ve been lied to, you’ve been told you were just some piece of ass, not an actual girlfriend. And now?

Now you’re scared shitless of what this thing between the two of you is. You’re scared shitless that you’re making a mistake by screwing around with your boss’s brother and you’re –

Well.

You’re scared shitless you’re falling for him.

So, you do what you do best. Dump out of this, push the self-destruct button. Get him to push you away so you don’t have to go through the pain of falling for the guy you can’t have. The one that you know’s going to screw you over, because he’s going to realise he only really sees you as a hookup – that he doesn’t love you.

You try to hold back the tears, because you’re driving home and the last thing you need right now is a car accident. There’s a buzzing sound from your phone and you perk up. As much as you want to tell yourself to not get your hopes high, you can’t help yourself, and you speed down the road to the red light so you can push the brakes and wait. Your fingers wrap around your phone and you immediately check the screen.

The smile on your face falls – it’s just a stupid notification from Instagram. You toss your phone back onto the passenger seat, hard enough that it bounces off and hits the ground. Tears once again threaten to fill your eyes, and there’s a painful lump in your throat. You swipe at your cheeks, where a single tear has made its escape, and turn to look at the screen next to your steering wheel – it shows the time as 3:45AM. Leaning back against your car seat, a deep sigh exits your lungs.

You realise there’s no way you’re going to sleep again today, what with the whole Jay thing on top of the Walter Holden nightmare that’s been haunting you for the last 6 days now.

The lights turn green.

Swearing under your breath, you throw your car into a U-turn and drive to Med instead.

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead smut #jay halstead x reader #will halstead #will halstead imagine #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine #onechicago imagine #onechicago #cpd smut #cpd imagine

859 notes · View notes

willowbird · 4 years ago

Note

prompt: aaron had a slight ED that he developed as a kid and is now being noticeable to the rest of the foxes even andrew and nicky kinda knew he forgot to eat but the stress from school and exy makes it worse....

I could easily expand on this and maybe one day I will. It hits kinda close to home tho so I’m going to err on the side of brevity just for my own mental space. Thank you so much for the ask! I hope this is what you’re looking for ❤️ ❤️ Take care of yourselves!

Warnings for depression, eating disorder.

Edit: this has been expanded and can also be found on my ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Ao3

-----

Wednesday | 6:04am

The alarm was screaming.

Its cries crashed against his senses like sea-storm waves and Aaron was without shelter. The sound had been crowding him for four minutes now, and he still couldn't lift a hand to make it stop -- even though he was perfectly aware and wide awake. He wanted to stop the sound, he needed the quiet back, but for whatever reason his hand just wouldn't listen to his brain no matter how many times he willed it to move.

Aaron hated days like this.

Wednesday | 8:43am

Nicky slung his arm around Aaron’s shoulders, a grin plastered on his face. His hair was slicked back like a low-budget greaser, halfway between wet and just damp. They’d just finished morning practice and he, Nicky, and Kevin were waiting out in the player’s lobby for Neil and Andrew to finish showering and changing so they could leave.

“Aw man, I am hungry. Please tell me that Andrew and Neil are gonna finish up soon so that we can go get a real breakfast.” Nicky's whining was easy enough to ignore most of the time, but today Aaron was tired and his patience was thin. He had three tests to study for, two essays to write, they had a game coming up on Friday, and Aaron didn't have the bandwidth for Nicky, too.

He shruged his cousin off with a snort. "I'm just gonna hitch a ride to the library." There were still a few hours before his first class of the day, and he needed to use that time for something productive.

"Aww, c'mon Aaron come to breakfast with us! We'll drop you at the library when we're done. It won't take too long!"

"What won't take too long?" When Aaron looked over, he saw Neil and Andrew coming out of the locker room, clean and changed.

"Breakfast!" Nicky announced. "Neil, tell Aaron to join us! It's a family breakfast -- he should be there!"

"You can't just label things "family" events as a way to require people to be there," Kevin said with a long-suffering sigh. Even so, Aaron noticed he already had the menu of their usual breakfast joint pulled up on his phone. The pictures of pancakes topped with glistening syrup and fluffy omelets made his stomach clench in an unpleasant way.

Aaron looked away.

"I've got a shit to do," he said. That would be his final word on it, and to demonstrate, Aaron turned to head toward the doors.

Except Andrew had moved to block him, though Aaron hadn't registered when his twin had circled them. Aaron frowned, lifting his chin in challenge.

Andrew just studied him for a long moment before looking just past Aaron, gaze darting over his shoulder to the others behind him. He lifted a hand and a second later a slim object snapped into it. When Andrew then held it out to him, Aaron saw it was a granola bar.

A quick glance over his shoulder exposed the granola bar thrower as Kevin, who was zipping his backpack shut. They matched gazes briefly and Kevin nodded toward the granola bar in Andrew's hand.

"If you aren't going to come to breakfast with us make sure you get something on your way to the library."

Aaron glared at him, then rolled his eyes and turned back to his brother. Andrew just looked at him, expression blank, and continued to hold out the damn granola bar like he could stand there all day without a care in the world.

A flash of resentment boiled through him. Of course Andrew could stand there so fucking unbothered. Barely anything affected him at all.

With an annoyed huff, Aaron snatched the bar out of Andrew's hand and shoved it into his pocket before stalking out of the building.

Wednesday | 1:15pm

Katelyn ❤️ (13:15): Hey baby! Prof Dixon bailed again ~ you free?

Aa. Min. (13:15): McCallister's?

Katelyn ❤️ (13:16): See u in 5! 😘

Wednesday | 1:23pm

Aaron stood inside the confused cacophony that was McCallister's, an on-campus restaurant that was the love child of a deli and a pub but four times too big, regretting his choices.

It wasn't even the noise that was bothering him the most. It was the smell.

Aaron took two steps into the restaurant and his stomach roiled. It twisted and tightened, curling in on itself in disgust at the sharp, slimy stench of cold cut deli meat cushioned on a waft of double-baked potatoes that filled the restaurant like wildfire's haze. He and Katelyn met here for lunch two or three times a week when their schedules lined up. They both liked the food and they had several corner booths where they could hide in and study together after eating. It was one of their favorite places. But right now, Aaron was fighting not to gag.

“Aaron!” Relief warred with dread at the sound of Katelyn’s voice and he hastily plastered on an imitation of the smile he usually didn’t even have to think about, that always rose to his lips whenever she was around all on its own. It didn’t today, but for Katelyn he could make the effort. For Katelyn, Aaron could do anything.

He turned around once that smile was fixed in place and wrapped his arms around her when she joined him, indulging in a quick kiss that soothed some of the nausea churning in his gut. When they broke apart, Aaron turned to lead them toward their usual booth but Katelyn stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Babe is everything alright?” Worry painted a crease between her eyebrows, her mouth drawn down as she studied him.

Most days, Katelyn’s concern warmed him. It made him feel seen and loved and cherished. Today it put a slash of anxiety through his lungs, breath seeping out through the cut and concaving his chest under the weight of her scrutiny.

Aaron arranged his smile into something tired and unalarmed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a long week, y’know?”

Katelyn hummed like she wasn’t sure she believed him but was deciding to trust him anyway, then she smiled and she released his arm only to take his hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Alright, then let’s get some lunch and shut out the rest of the world for at least a little bit, yeah?”

The smell of the restaurant was still choking him and even his skin felt tight. The absolute last thing he wanted to do right now was stay there another second, let alone the hour he had until he needed to think about heading to his next class.

“I’m so sorry Kate, I’ve got to meet with the TA for my history class. I remembered right after I texted you but I still wanted to see you so I figured I’d just tell you when you got here.” He offered an apologetic smile and did his best to ignore the way guilt was now mixing uncomfortably well with the sick already sloshing around in his stomach. Aaron did not like lying to Katelyn, it felt wrong. But he also couldn’t... he couldn’t explain what was wrong with him right now -- not because he didn’t know, but because he was sure explaining it was going to make him sound crazy and that was just the last thing he needed right now. It was better to slip away, go somewhere he could focus on homework or something and just... wait for it to pass.

Katelyn’s expression fell, flashing disappointment, then a sad understanding as she nodded. “Of course. It’s okay babe, really. I’m just glad I got to see you at all.” She smiled then -- that bright, warm, just-for-him smile that always had Aaron’s heart skipping. A small knot of tension loosened in his lower chest, just enough that he was able to take a small breath and offer a more genuine smile of his own in return.

“I love you,” he told her.

“I love you too, Aaron. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you later, okay?”

He made no promises before he made his escape, just a smile and a wave.

Wednesday | 3:37pm

The granola bar tasted like ash in his mouth. It felt like there were iron weights attached to his jaw, making it impossible for him to chew. A fist of repulsion locked around his throat, and it was a physical struggle to swallow.

This was the worst part about days like this.

Aaron knew he had to eat something, because he knew what could happen if he didn’t and the only thing worse than having to put up with feeling this way, dragging himself through the mud of his own psychosis one step, one mile, at a time -- was doing it with everyone watching him struggle.

So he forced himself through half the granola bar. He knew better than to push for more than that, or all his efforts would be wasted into the nearest trash can.

Wednesday | 7:51pm

Practice had been brutal. It had been so bad that even Nicky hadn’t been able to cheer himself through it and was just as bitter and on edge as the rest of them by the time they hit the showers.

Aaron sat in the lobby and waited for the others, feeling old. He felt tired. He just wanted these stupid pissing contests to stop and everyone to shut up. He wanted the world to be completely silent, completely empty. Emptiness sounded nice. Sounded peaceful. Sounded right.

The sharp scuff of shoe-rubber against tile had him cringing so hard his shoulders ached and he peeled his eyes open to glare at the source. Andrew stood there, hands in his pockets, blank-faced and too knowing.

Aaron snorted and looked away.

The couch shifted slightly as Andrew took the spot next to him. There was the soft shk of a blade cutting into something crisp and when Aaron looked over, Andrew was holding out a small sliver of apple. His brother wasn’t looking at him. Instead, the other Minyard was dispassionately staring at the tv, which was playing some sports channel that Aaron knew very well Andrew didn’t give a single shit about.

For a long moment Aaron just stared at the side of his twin’s face, but it was impossible to know what, if anything, he was thinking about. Finally, he looked at the sliver of apple. It was pale, small, unobtrusive. Aaron’s stomach clenched, a mix between hunger and repulsion. All he’d had today was that half a granola bar -- which had been both too much and not enough. His throat tightened as he stared at that innocuous slice of fruit, but he was almost focused more on the hand holding it. His eyes burned and he looked away, but not before taking the slice.

#aftg #aftg fanfic #tw: depression #tw: eating disorder #tw: ed #aaron minyard #andrew minyard #twinyards #of course i made it a twinyard drabble #because i'm a sucker for the boys supporting each other #going into a small headcanon in the tags here #i hc andrew struggles with food #similar to what aaron goes through here #but more intense #because he has a very complex relationship with food #based on his past #and then the manifestation of his depression does not help #i actually have a wip based on this #from andrew's pov #where we see him dealing with his ed #and the way the monsters support him through it #sometimes his ed crops up due to his depression #and sometimes its separate #anyway #this was an unnecessary a/n in the tags here #but that's why andrew took the approach he did in the drabble #because how he treats aaron in this is how he needs to be handled when he has his own episodes

80 notes · View notes

warwaged-moved · 3 years ago

Text

— get to know the mun!

Appearance

I am over 5‘5“ (I am 5′5′’ so) / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blond hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and Talents

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing (when no one else will listen) / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work breaks / I can do a handstand

Experiences

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on tv / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships

I am in a relationship / I have a crush / I have a best friend / I have known a friend for over ten years / I have a (half) brother / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / My crush has confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / The sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Spring is my favourite season

Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial (idk how to feel about this one like... most brazilian people come from a mix of things and I’m no exception but also nothing particularly noteworthy so) / I am a redhead / I own(ed) at least three dogs / I am LGBT

TAGGED: @iniziare 💖

#‣ out of character { the mun } — ❝ THAT GLOOMY GIRL WHO SIGHS A LOT. ❞

4 notes · View notes

justanotherwriter-fangirl · 5 years ago

Text

Confessions (C. R.)

Words: 2,389 words

Warnings: Not that I can think of

Request: Hey there! I noticed that you write for connor rhodes? I loved the latest story you posted, so i was wondering if you could write him confessing his feelings? Maybe the reader is another doctor or something, it's up to You, i know I'll love it regardless. Keep the good work💞 already loving your blog as it is.

A/N: Hi!!! I'm so sorry for taking so long to the anon who made this request :( but it's finally here!! I hope you like it and it's what you expected it 😅 As you can see I got a little bit carried away, hope you enjoy it!!!

Gif obtained from Google. All credits to its owner.

Thanks for reading

_______________________

Monday morning and the emergency room was already madness. A huge accident, a collapsed office building, was the cause of the rush in the ED having every doctor in the hospital working extra hard to attend the wounded.

You could hear Maggie and Mrs. Goodwin yelling orders outside Trauma 2 where you were examining a teen, probably an intern.

He was awake and responsive but you knew better so just to make sure he was really okay you ordered some X-rays and a CT Scan.

Leaving the room to treat someone else while the results came back, you quickly stepped out of the way of a gurney that almost ran over you, Connor and a bunch of nurses behind it heading to Trauma 1 to attend a woman not much older than you who didn't look good.

Behind them all there was a young man trying to catch up with them so you stepped on his way to stop him.

"Hi, sir. I'm Dr. (Y/L/N), are you okay? How can I help you?" you said as you raised your hands to calm him a little bit.

"How is she? Where are you taking her? Will she be okay?" he quickly asked, his full attention on the woman who was now disappearing behind some glass doors.

"Sir, I need you to look at me, please" you mentioned firmly, once his eyes settled on yours you added "Right now Dr. Rhodes is going to diagnose her to learn the severity of her injuries and treat her, but if you are not wounded you need to be on the waiting room, we have a lot of patients to treat and barely enough space considering the situation so please, wait outside and I promise you that as soon as I hear something about her I'll go out myself to keep you posted"

"You promise?"

"I do, I promise" you said escorting him to the waiting room "But let me tell you, your girlfriend is in really good hands, Dr. Rhodes is the best cardiothoracic surgeon we have on the hospital"

"Yeah, okay, thank you doctor" he finished barely listening to you and sitting on a chair, worried because needing a cardiothoracic surgeon couldn't be good, didn't it?

Once he was out of your way you passed to your next patient, a passerby who luckily only needed some stitches.

Your whole day went by in a blur, being pulled from one patient to another with barely time to breath in between.

Nevertheless, you had made a promise earlier so when you managed to get 5 free minutes you went straight to Maggie at the nurse station.

"Hey, Maggie. Have a minute?"

"Ummm... yeah, real quick. What do you need?"

"I just want to know about the status of a patient, Connor was the main doctor. Brunette woman, not much older than me, her face was bruised and she had a nasty cut on her leg, she was sent to Trauma 1"

"Oh, yeah she went almost immediately to surgery, she was in really bad shape, internal bleeding"

"Okay, thank you. Please let me know when they came out, her boyfriend is in the waiting room"

As you glanced at the waiting room, you could still see him on the same chair you left him, his leg bouncing up and down, probably scared that you wouldn't find him if he moved.

Getting closer to him you felt bad because her girl was really bad and he was so worried and you couldn't do anything about it.

"Sir?" You said when you were standing next to him.

"Dr. (Y/L/N)" he quickly stood up "You can call me Danny"

"Danny, I have news. I just talk with the charge nurse and she told me that..."

"Amy"

"Amy, yeah, she's on surgery, she was suffering of serious internal bleeding but she was immediately treated. Right now I don't have anything else for you but I'll let you know when she gets out so you can go see her."

“Yeah, thanks doctor”

A couple hours later you were making some coffee on the break room when you heard the door being open, Connor walking in.

"Hey, out of surgery already?" You said remembering Danny and his very worried state, while handing him a cup of coffee. It really looked like he needed it.

"Thanks (Y/N). Yeah, it was difficult but we made it, we manage to control all the bleeding, we had to remove her spleen though" he informed you taking a seat on the couch.

"So she's stable?"

"For now, she will be sedated for a while too but everything seems fine"

"It's so good to hear it Connor, I met her boyfriend. He's worried sick and I promised I'd let him know when she got out of surgery" you said heading towards the door.

"Wait..." he said quickly standing up and grabbing your hand to stop you, your heart starting to beat a little faster "I'll let him know, it's my job and you probably are tired, stay here and rest a bit"

Looking up to see him in the eyes, you realized how close you two were. You had always had a thing for Connor, him being the first person who welcomed you into the hospital when you first got here.

Since then he became a really good friend, problem was that you didn't want him just to be your friend. He was sweet and funny and handsome and so smart, it wasn't really a surprise when you figured you had feelings for him.

Unfortunately, you couldn't do anything about it, you didn't want to ruin your friendship. It was just too special.

“Sure?”

“Sure, you have nothing to worry about” he said slowly letting your hand go.

“Ok, thanks. His name is Danny, black shirt, jeans and a red jacket”

“Got it, now go back and enjoy your coffee, you deserve some rest”

In his way to the wait room he couldn’t stop thinking about how your hand felt in his, if he had to be really honest, every time you’d step into the room his eyes immediately would fell over you, you were like a magnet and he could barely focus on anything else.

Since the first time you took a step on the ED he felt attracted to you but with the pass of time he started to get to know you and his feelings eventually grew. It actually made him feel kinda helpless, having feelings for you but unable to let you know in case you wouldn’t feel the same, it hurt him a little bit more each day.

You were so sweet, always caring for the patients, even if they weren’t directly under your care, you were so full of life and happy most of the times, babies loved you and you were one of the best doctors he had ever met, so intelligent and beautiful yet somehow unaware of the effect you had in others.

He immediately spotted Danny, impossible to miss the red jacket he was wearing and stood right in front of him.

“Danny? You’re Amy’s boyfriend? Dr. (Y/L/N) send me, I’m Dr. Rhodes”

“Well, she’s technically not my girlfriend, not yet at least, soon I hope but yes, I’m here with her”

He raised an eyebrow, a little bit amused with his rambling

“Not yet? Dr. (Y/L/N) says otherwise”

“She never gave me the chance to correct her” he said sheepishly scratching the back of his neck “but as soon as you tell me Amy is okay I’m ready to tell her. I never wanted to scare her away or lose her friendship but I almost lost her today, for good, and I realized I’m not ready to let her go without her knowing how I really feel, without her knowing that I love her and I want to spend the rest of my days with her if she lets me. Even if she says no at least she'll know the truth and I'll feel so much better, lighter than carrying my secret for life. If she knows I might have a chance with her, she might say yes, but if she doesn't it's already impossible. Sometimes life’s too short, don’t you think. Dr. Rhodes?”

"I guess you're right Danny, I'm glad you're ready because things are looking good. We manage to stop her internal bleeding and she's now unconscious due to the anesthesia but you can go see her now."

"Really? Oh my God, doctor, thank you so much"

"Good luck" he said before telling him her room and walk away.

Throughout the rest of the week he couldn't take Danny's words out of his head, he knew he was right. If he wanted a chance to be with you, because he was sure he wanted just that, to call you his, he had to come clean, tell you how he felt and wait for the best before it was too late.

It was friday night already, his shift almost ending and he was trying to gather all his confidence to ask you out tonight. He promised himself he would do it before the night ended but it was really hard to find the right words and the right moment, you were always hurrying around from one patient to another, barely having a free couple minutes to talk. He didn't want to rush it, he wanted to tell you everything and the fact that he could see Danny everyday coming to the hospital with flowers wasn't helping at all, it was just a constantly reminder of how he was unable to let you know about his feelings.

Letting a sigh escape his lips he leaned against the nurse bay, he wasn't ready to give up, his mind already made up, but you weren't doing it easy.

Just as he was about to call it night, the clock marking already 10 pm, he saw entering the break room. This was his chance.

Sneaking in behind you he closed the door and locked it, he didn't want any interruptions.

"(Y/N), I need to talk to you for a minute" he firmly stated.

"Oh, hey Connor. Sure, tell me" you said grabbing a mug to pour some coffee on it, not really paying much attention to his nervous state.

"It's important so please let me finish first and then you can say whatever you want to say" he said grabbing your shoulder to make you turn around. standing directly in front of you for the first time you realized how on edge he was.

"Okay… yeah, of course. You know you can tell me anything, Connor. I'm here for you, no matter what"

"I hope you really mean that" he mumbled letting a nervous laugh out. "Okay so, I've been wanted to tell you this for a while and it might be a little shocking but recently someone made me realize that life's short and we need to take action in order to make things happen and I'm ready to tell you this because I don't want to live any longer without you knowing the truth. This could go either one of two ways and I hope this ends the good way, I really do but anyway I can't keep it a secret anymore.” he let out a sigh before grabbing your hands, his eyes bearing into your soul. “(Y/N), this might come as a surprise but I really like you, I’ve liked you for a long time and I’d like to go out with you, as more than a friend. Being completely honest with you, I’m quite sure I feel so much more than just that but I really don’t want to scare you off, it’s just that you are such a beautiful human being and you make me so happy, even if you are not with me the mere thought of you makes me smile. So, what do you say? Would you go out with me? On a date?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, was he really asking you out?

“Why?” was the first thing that left your mouth

“Why? Why do I want to date you? (Y/N), did you listen all I just said?”

“Yes, I did but this seems to good to be truth, why would you want to date me? There are so many doctors and nurses and even patients who would love to go out with you, doctors and nurses and patients way more beautiful and successful and smarter than me”

“I don’t care about others, I only want to date you, call you mine. I wish you could see yourself the way I do because you are such an amazing person, you are beautiful and sweet and way more intelligent than anyone here, you are independent and strong and you don’t take no for an answer, you do all you can and more for your patients and you always try your best to let them leave with their families safe and sound. You are all I could ever ask for, the woman of my dreams and even then I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve you, so it’s all your decision now”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I would love to go out with you Connor, that’s the nicest someone have ever told me and I’m just so lucky that the guy I really like was the one who said it”

“Wait, what?”

“I like you too, Connor, like a lot and this just feels like out of one of my dreams”

“It’s not a dream” he whispered grabbing your chin with his right hand, his eyes silently asking for permission and only after you nodded slightly he leaned down to press his lips against yours, a sweet and slow kiss confirming it, this was not a dream, this was real and it was a hundred times better.

As you separated to look at each other you heard Will celebrating and shouting from the outside breaking your little bubble.

“Yes! Hey guys, they finally did it. Nat, I told you they wouldn’t last any longer, you owe me 20 bucks” he said walking away, making you both laugh, of course there was no privacy in this hospital.

_______________________

Masterlist

#writing #writer #connor rhodes #connor imagine #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes imagine #connor rhodes oneshot #one chicago #one chicago imagine #one-shot #one shot #chicago pd #chicago med #chicago fire #chicago med imagine #chicago med one shot #drabble #imagine

184 notes · View notes

detectivecarlosreyes · 4 years ago

Text

Buck, Babies and Bad Assumptions

Also on Ao3 | Word Count: 1k | Day: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

September 21st - Day 2: Buddie + “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.” + comfort (Inspired by the tags by @comeonbacktothefrontporch on this post)

@buddieweek2020

Buck loved being around kids and he learned pretty quickly that he loved being around babies even more. It’s something that he’s always been proud to admit. And it was all thanks to that little baby that got stuck in the toilet drain.

No matter how hard he tried to forget that call, Buck couldn’t, so when he finished his shift he went back to the hospital to see how the baby was doing. The nurse that showed him to the infant, must have seen something in him because when he left, she handed him a flyer asking for kangaroo care volunteers.

Not knowing much about it, he went home that night a researched all that he could, and by the next day, he was posting his application and then waited. With his busy schedule, he’d almost forgotten about it until he, surprisingly got the application acceptance.

And so that’s how his life went from then on, when he wasn’t working, he was volunteering at the hospital. Turns out it was the best decision he ever made.

As his experience and time there grew, the more the nurses and doctors trusted him with more complicated patients. This was especially after he’d taken such an interest in learning all that there was to know about treating and caring for infants and newborns.

He’d been volunteering for over a year now, and his current charge was a preemie who had no known parents, having been left on a church doorstep to fend for himself. And this particular little one was sitting a little low on the temperature scale and had the unfortunate habit to cry endlessly when he was awake and by himself.

Luckily, both problems could be solved with Buck’s favourite form of caring: skin to skin contact. He’d settled himself into one of the rocking chairs with the wailing child and holds the newborn to his chest as he whispers, “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.” Before softly humming a gentle tune as he rocks in the chair, lulling the baby to sleep.

And that’s where Eddie spotted him completely unaware, a couple of hours later, still gently rocking the chair with the tiny baby resting soundly on his chest.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Despite the fact that their relationship was only half a year old, Eddie felt he knew everything there was to know about his boyfriend, at least he thought he did up until the point where he saw Buck in the NICU with a baby sleeping on his chest while he and Chris were on their way to a CP check-up.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen Buck with a baby before, but those moments happened when they were on the job and in uniform. What he’s seeing right now is another story. It looked so familiar and precious that Eddie just doesn’t know what to think.

All he had were questions. And it’s not until after Chris had gone to bed and they had the living room all to themselves that he finally gets to ask them.

Buck must have sensed something was bothering him because as soon as they sat down from wishing Christopher a good night he picked up the remote and muted the tv shift on the couch to give Eddie his full attention.

“Alright, what’s going on Eds, you’ve been giving me weird looks since I came home.”

“I saw you at the hospital in the NICU,” He answers simply, not one for beating around the bush, “And I’ve just been trying to think of reasons why you were with a baby and the only thing I keep circling back to is that that baby is the result of one of your old relationships from before us and you just haven’t told me yet. But that’s just me being paranoid, right?”

And he can’t help but be even more confused because after he finished speaking, Buck burst out in quiet laughter before reaching out to gently cup the side of his neck and brushes his jawline with his thumb in a comforting gesture. “Oh Eds, yes that is you being paranoid. I promise that the baby was not a secret child of mine, but I can see why you would think based on my past, so I don't blame you for assuming that.”

Eddie softens, comforted by the explanation, but he presses on having still not gotten the answer he was after, “Then wha-“

As if he was anticipating the question, Buck cuts him off, “I volunteer there as a kangaroo carer on our days off, have been since I was a probie. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done because I get to be this source of comfort for these tiny human lives when their parents can’t.”

“Oh.” He ends up responding, at a loss of words and feeling his face start to flush with embarrassment over the misunderstanding.

Buck gives him a soft smile, looking unfazed, “Did you really think that I could be somebody’s baby daddy and not tell you about it? You know I’m terrible at keeping secrets from you.”

Eddie sighs, letting his eyes slide away from Buck’s, “Yeah I know. I just didn’t know what else to think because you had the same look you get whenever you’re around Chris it threw me for a loop.”

Buck looks at him quizzically, “I had a look?”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” He focuses on the lamp past Buck’s shoulder, trying to find the words, “it’s the kind of look a parent gets whenever they look at their kid. Like they are their whole world.”

Buck’s hand slips from his face and Eddie refocused back on him to see his face slack in disbelief, “Buck?”

“I-l looked like a dad?” He stammers.

Now it’s his turn to be the voice of reassurance for his boyfriend and so he reaches over to give Buck’s hand a squeeze. “Yeah, you did, you do,” he corrects, “and I can tell you that it’s a good look on you. You’re a natural at it.”

He watches as Buck's eyes start to fill with what he hopes are happy tears, “You think so?”

He pulls him in for a hug, “From the way I see you with Chris, I know so.”

#buddieweek2020 #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #my fic #jess writes #911 fox #911 fic #userkourt #userkimmy

46 notes · View notes

halo-jpeg · 4 years ago

Text

Bearable | A Reddie Fanfiction

Read it from the beginning

Chapter 5

Weak, cold, autumn light seeped in through drawn curtains, accompanied by the sporadic brrrrrringing of an alarm. The sound split the morning silence, tearing Eddie from his sleep, echoing through the entirety of the house more effectively than it was meant to. Eddie let out a groan, trying to reach out a hand and silence the mechanic screaming but just not being able to reach it- frustration sparked inside of his stomach for just a quick moment, and then someone else's hand came down onto the machine, cutting it off mid-ring.

"You set your alarm late," It was Stan, and, not really a surprise, he was already entirely prepared for the day, "Hurry and get up. I'll go make sure Bill is awake. Water is boiled on the stove and I made eggs, too." Stanley was dressed in a pair of bluejeans, as well as a knitted blue sweater he'd loved and worn for the last three years. His hair was styled into it's chaotic, curly perfection, swept gently to one side- he was smiling, a morning person, bright and ready for the day even though it was hardly 7:00 am. Eddie envied that constant 'ready-to-go' attitude Stan faced each new day with, when he- Eddie- had to will himself out of bed every time he opened his eyes.

"Thanks," He mumbled as Stan left the room, sitting up with a sigh and scrubbing his hands over his face to shake the sleep away. Eddie's jaws stretched wide in a yawn, and then he forced himself to abandon the comfortable warmth of his bed and crawl from under the covers. The air around him had a biting chill, the remaining after-effect of the rain that had been coming every now and again since Saturday, sending goosebumps breaking out over Eddie's skin as he made his way to his drawers, pulling open the topmost one to dig out a shirt. Settling on something simple enough, he pulled out a dark grey long-sleeved tee reading 'Back Pages' in bold white lettering and then 'Used Books and More' right underneath, in smaller print- Back Pages had been an- obviously- used bookstore from back in Derry, one of the only places his mother was actually moderately okay with him visiting. Along with the shirt Eddie pulled out brown pants and some miscellaneous belt, throwing the outfit together and running a comb quickly through his hair to tame the unruly bedhead.

"E-Eddie?" Bill's voice came from outside his door, probably in the kitchen, still thick with sleep, "Do you wuh-want tea? Coffee?" Eddie continued around his room, stumbling through the semi-darkness, shouting back his reply,

"Do you know where my chamomile is? Do we have honey?" Eddie grabbed his phone, head tilted towards the door as he waited for Bill's reply- at last, he heard something akin to an 'okay', but more of a grumble than that. With one last glance in the mirror and a silent 'you can do this, Eddie' that was meant to pep him up, he jammed his phone into his pocket and swiped his backpack from where it had been set by the vanity. Grabbing the doorknob and pulling the door right open, Eddie stepped out and hurried across the hall to the kitchen. "My tea?" He asked right away, his gaze darting between Stan, and then Bill, both seated at the small dining table in the far corner- a tall, open window sat behind them- the sky outside was dull and grey with the promise of yet more rain.

"Yeah," Stan nodded, motioning towards the counter right to Eddie's left, "It's poured and ready. Come eat, and hurry- I don't want to be late."

"We won't be late, Stan, w-we've got over an hour." Bill patted Stan's back as he reassured him, partially amused by the constant anxiety and worrying Stan never seemed to stop with- though, of course, that anxiety was pointed towards more realistic things, when Eddie's own anxiety was, in his opinion, stupid and trivial and downright annoying. Eddie poured honey into his chamomile tea, sliding the rest of the scrambled eggs onto a plate, and then took a seat at the table. "Wuh-what classes do you guys have? I have English all d-day. Lit-literature and then luh-languages."

"Biology first, and then Mathematics." Eddie's eyes brightened at Stan's words.

"I have math second, too! Thank fuck- I suck at that stuff," Just as Eddie was about to continue, saying something regarding Stan and Bill's natural ability to do almost anything right, his phone beeped in his pocket and he remembered that he hadn't turned it on a single time since last night. He was quick to pull it from it's place, looking at his newest message- his brows screwed together, and he caught the skin of his cheek between his teeth, racking his brain to see if he recognized the unknown number that had texted him.

"What's wrong with you? Are the eggs bad?" Stan tilted his head, leaning in his chair to try and glance over Eddie's shoulder to catch sight of the screen of his Nokia. Eddie held it just out of sight.

"Do either of you know this number?" Rapidly, Eddie read it out, and it didn't ring any bells in either other boys brain. Bill shrugged, Stan lost interest- they both returned to their breakfast as Eddie read over the message once more. All it said was,

What ur schedule look like, penne?

It didn't make any sense. Eddie texted back and then put the phone down on the table to dig into his own food.

Who is this?

The eggs were great, as usual- Stan was one hell of a cook even though he'd only ever learned from his own personal trial and error. A light conversation was picked up again, the first topic being that of the rain. Eddie barked out a few complaints about the grey weather, how he was afraid to catch a cold and wished he had a thicker jacket and maybe rain boots, or a car, actually, yes that would be ideal. Bill said he liked the rain, Stan said he was indifferent but was enjoying the weather for what it was. Through bites of food and sips of early-morning tea, the three finished up their eggs and tossed the dishes into the sink, ready to go any minute now. Before Eddie could slip into his shoes his phone beeped again and he was quick to swipe it up and look at the response.

Come on conchiglie! U rlly dont rmmber me?

Eddie scoffed, his brows knitting together once more. Through his sleep-haze he couldn't think of a single person he knew that he didn't already have in his contacts- at least, no one that would care about his schedule. He had a few aunts and uncles that he hardly saw but they wouldn't be messaging him now of all times, he didn't think. And what the fuck was 'conchiglie'? Eddie was clueless- Big Bill, one shoe on and the other in his hands, pulled up at Eddie's side in a silent request to be shown what was so odd. Without complaint other than a sigh, Eddie shifted the phone over, and Bill scanned the texts before letting out a bark of laughter and sharing an amused glance with Stan that seemed to communicate everything.

"Oh?" Stan said with a cheeky grin, realization donning itself on his face, pressing in on Eddie's other side to read the messages for himself, "He finally texted?"

"What?" Eddie tried to ask, but he was ignored as Bill said,

"What's with the pasta names?" Eddie was way more confused now. Again, he repeated his 'what?' and again he was ignored, "Penne? Conchiglie? I don't g-get it. What an i-idiot." Oh- just like that it clicked together and Eddie's jaw dropped open. Penne, conchiglie- pasta... spaghetti... Eddie Spaghettie- Eds- Eddie- Richie.

"No, no no no no- Which one of you gave him my fucking number? What the hell?" Eddie jammed his phone into his pocket, rounding on Bill and taking in the expression on his face- it was amused, sure, but Eddie could already read the tiniest lines of innocence forming in his features. The way Bill's gaze flickered for a tenth of a second towards Stan told Eddie everything that he needed to know. "Stanley Uris what did you do?" Eddie spun to Stan, hands on his hips, glowering upwards at the much, much taller boy. Despite forcing every ounce of intimidation into his words as he could, Stan was grinning from ear to ear, sinister and ultimately unthreatened- his eyes were bright as stars and gleaming with mischief. "You know I hate that guy! He's- He's- He's so annoying! He's loud and he's rude and he's- I can't believe you!"

"Edward," Stan said in an even, polished tone, redirecting his gaze to slip on his shoes, "One of these days in the near future you'll be thanking me for getting you out in the world," Bill let out a snicker, and Eddie jammed his elbow into his ribs, silencing him effectively, "You need friends who aren't just me and Bill. Richie, Ben, Beverly, Mike- they're nice people, and you need to get out of that shell of yours."

"Oh, you're on to talk!" Eddie crossed his arms, and then uncrossed them just after to put on his shoes in a huff, "You're ten billion times more shy than I am, Stanley. I'm just fine with only you two as my friends, I don't need other people- I mean, I went 19 years of my life with no one but you two! I survived Henry fucking Bowers with just you guys to keep me safe! I don't need other people in my life." Now, Bill was cutting in and the tension in the hallway to the front door spiked upwards. Eddie realized now that the entire topic of conversation was about to change for the worse- shit, he'd let his mouth run, and now he was going to be pitied. Eddie hated pity. It made him ill.

"E-Eds, you cu-can't go your entire life with o-only me and Stan. I mean," Bill chuckled, his eyebrows slanted sympathetically, "I know we're g-great and all, but your muh-mother has kept you from having healthy social t-ties for your whole life. It's healthy to have more than o-one or two friends." The mention of his mother sent a tidal wave of homesickness propelling right over Eddie's head- a bitter, frightening, nasty homesickness- and suddenly he felt like curling up underneath his covers and crying his eyes out, but he wouldn't. He balled his hands into fists, gritted his teeth together, and turned to the door. His bag was slung over his shoulder.

"Let's go." Eddie kept his head low and pulled the door open, pushing out into the hallway and going straight for the elevator without another word. Bill didn't want to let the topic drop just yet, but a nudge and a shake of the head from Stan was enough to get him to do just that- the shake of Stan's head said let him have this one, Big Bill. It's his first day of school. Give him a break. And so, the conversation was over, to hopefully be picked up again at a later date.

-----

Richie, earbuds in, King of Rock 'N' Roll playing at full volume, burst in a flurry from his music classroom and made a beeline for the stairwell at the end of the hall. Like some agile snake or cat, he dodged and weaved between other students as they poured from their own respective classes, determined to break out into the sunlight and share his contentedness with his friends.

"Tozier! Don't run in the halls!" Some teacher scolded him, but as Prefab Sprout continued jabbing away at his eardrums he didn't hear it- and he didn't really care to hear it either- he was too busy riding the high that the schools new set of drums had given him. Ever since Richie grew so involved with the rock genre and everything alike, he had wanted to learn to play the drums but had never been given the chance until today. Now, Mr. Carr had basically had to chase Richie from the class with a broom like he was some sort of radical street rat. With his big, goofy grin Richie sent himself flying down the stairs, taking them three at a time and not even wincing at the way his knees protested with every heavy landing. The doors to the outside were within his sights as soon as he touched down onto the first floor. Still pushing past other students, not even bothering with any courteous 'pardon me's' he was at them in an instant. In time with the thudding of the music, he shoved the doors open and went, quite literally, dancing and spinning out into the warming sunlight, which had just begun to peek through the clouds. From across the large expanse of concrete just outside the doors sat an emptying bike rack, and leaning against it he spotted more than the usual quantity of familiar faces.

"Top 'o tha afternoon to ye, Haystack, sor! An' Mr. O'Hanlon, awful good!" As Richie pulled out his earbuds, music so loud it was still audible even as they dropped to hand at his side, he took a dramatic double-take and let out a loud gasp, "Well, if it isn't so!" Now, Richie was the Southern Bell rather than the Irish Cop, and he was taking Bill's hands in his and fluttering his lashes through his thick-framed glasses, "Sir Bill, and your noble companions! What have I done to be graced with your presences, my fair gentlemen?"

"You know you'll ruin your eardrums listening to your music that loud, right? You can't fix Tinnitus- and if you go deaf you'll have hearing aids for the rest of your life." Eddie gripped the straps of his backpack, his eyes flickering down to Richie'e earbuds, which were dangling dangerously close to the dirty ground- much too close for comfort. Eddie almost shuddered.

"Aw, thanks for the concern Spaghetward!" Richie let go of Bill, moving for Eddie instead, and slung his arm enthusiastically over the shorter boys shoulders. In return, as if it were instinct, Eddie let out a sound like the croak of a frog and ducked away with a grimace.

"Don't call me that, jackass!" Out of the entire group, the only one who was observant enough to note the faint red tint on Eddie's face was Mike, and he wasn't going to call the poor boy out on it.

"I see you're all getting along swell, huh?" Richie's dark gaze shifted from Ben and Mike to Bill and Stan, and then, lastly, to Eddie, where they lingered for just a second longer.

"Stan and Eddie were in math with me," Ben says with his small, kind smile, "Stan is some sort of super-genius or something- Eddie, too. I don't get it." Without missing a beat, Eddie let out an exasperated sound, shaking his head furiously.

"No, no no, don't lob me in with Stanley. He's the super-genius, I just nod my head and act like I know what he's talking about." Stan was quick to decline.

"Oh, don't say that. You're getting it."

"Hey, Bev's in working at the cafe today- are you guys interested in stopping by with me, Rich and Ben?" The next one to speak was Mike, and his offer was met with a cacophony of different replies; Ben seemed content with the idea, his smile going wider at the thought; Bill was quick to agree, and Stan was much the same, though Eddie didn't see to thrilled. He let out a sound as if he was going to speak, but then he clamped his jaw shut, mouth a straight line, and bit his tongue. Richie himself was positively ecstatic. His already bubbly mood was only amplified by this suggestion, and his grin was so bright it could blind.

"Oh, you have to come! The sun is out for once, you can't go curl up in whatever cave you're renting. Whaddaya say?" Swinging his backpack off his shoulders, Richie pulled his walkman free and clicked the 'pause' button, then proceeded to, unceremoniously, jam both it and the earbuds in his bag once more.

"I'm down," Bill said, glancing at Stan, who nodded, and then at Eddie, who shrugged curtly and stared intently at the ground below his feet.

"Great!" Zipping his bag back up and throwing it onto his shoulders, Richie moved to lead the way, and before the group knew it they were off, headed for the campus' outskirts and following their trusty guide, Richie Tozier, towards Portland Authentic. The stroll was quaint, amiable- Stan hung near the back with Mike and Bill, pointing out the different types of birds they spotted on the walk. Richie had thought every bird here in Portland was just some old rock pigeon, but now he knew that there were actually mourning doves as well. Ben was at Richie's side, hands in his pockets, his neck craned so that his face was upturned towards the sunlight. Eddie was, though reluctant, to Richie's other side, desperately trying to tune out the bird talk behind him. His annoyance was evident, but there was also a subtle fondness in his soft, brown eyes that showed how much he cared for Stan and his passions.

"Does he talk about pigeons a lot? You seem peeved." Eddie almost jumped right out of his skin at Richie's sudden words, having been totally spaced out in his desperate attempts to disassociate. Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and scratched at the back of his neck.

"Oh, uh," Eddie's gaze darted over his shoulder towards Stan, and then to Richie, and then back at his shoes, his worn black Converse sneakers, "Yeah. He loves them, but... I don't know why. They kinda-" Eddie cut himself off with a shrug, his hand dropping to his side once more, "Kinda gross, don't you think? With their weird feathers and their gross feet? All of their, like, diseases and shit?" Richie's cheeks had begun to hurt from the stretch of his smile. Something today was just making him giddy. His chest was tight with unadulterated glee, and it felt like something was pushing around in his stomach, like butterflies. Eddie was so impossibly earnest. The affection in his gaze directed at Stanley was heartwarming, the exact same kind of best-friend love that Richie had with Bev, Ben and Mike. Despite Eddie being disgusted by birds he was clearly still glad that Stan had something to be so passionate about- cute.

"I dunno," Richie said, a tilt to his head, "I think birds are kind of cool. Especially magpies? Oh, God," Richie took a few steps ahead, and then spun on his heel to walk backwards, facing Eddie and talking animatedly with his hands, "If I had the chance I would have a pet magpie. They're so pretty- their feathers look all blue in the sunlight and stuff, and they get so fluffed out when they're pissed." Eddie looked dumbfounded, his brows furrowed, his jaw dropped- disgusted, that was the word for the expression he wore.

"Are you fucking kidding me? A magpie? Those stupid, nasty black birds with the white chest? Jesus, what's wrong with you?" Running a hand over his face, Eddie let out a huff- Richie's smile grew, somehow, if that was even possible, at the distress his words seemed to have caused in the smaller boy. Seeing him all worked up like this made that weird feeling in Richie's chest grow tenfold. Brushing that thought away, still walking backwards, he let Eddie continue. "They don't know how to shut up. Every Spring, ever Autumn- they would be screaming away at the crack of dawn. I could never catch a wink of sleep. My mommy used to fire at them with my dads old BB gun, but she never hit any of them."

"And thank fuck for that!" Richie scoffed, playful, "Those poor things don't deserve to be shot." Eddie countered with a quick 'yes they do', and then the bickering continued. Their back-and-forth, the lighthearted, heated-on-Eddie's-end banter felt perfectly natural. Richie would say some quip, some little thing about magpies that he found nice or cute or interesting, and then Eddie would come right back at him with why that was false. Richie probably should have been listening to these comebacks, but he found himself getting, more often than not, distracted by little things like the cinnamon-dusting of freckles across the bridge of Eddie's nose or the way his chocolate-toned hair was swept so tidily to one side, not a single hair out of place. Sooner or later, Portland Authentic had come into view, the glass windows showing through to the bustling interior. The after-school rush had just hit, and boy was Richie glad he had the day off today. As he pushed the door open, the bird conversation cut short, he noted exactly how busy it was. The line was huge, nearly reaching the entrance, and almost every single seat was taken except for one four-person table in the back corner.

"I'll get the table." Stan's tone was serious, his gaze determined, "Get me a-"

"B-Black coffee, yeah," Bill was smiling, waving Stan off with one hand. At once, with a final nod of affirmation, Stan sped away to secure the seats. Though Richie didn't say anything, he thought to himself how the hell can someone like black coffee? because there were so many other options, sweet drinks, savory, peppermint or rich chocolate- drinking straight black coffee as a regular was basically a sin in his eyes. Slow and steady, the line progressed, Bev behind the counter working with two other people named Britney and Mason. Richie wasn't too fond of them and honestly pitied poor Bev having to deal with them all alone. It had been a good two or three weeks since she's been stuck in a shift without Ben or Richie at her side. Finally the group of five arrived at the till and Beverly's face brightened like a Christmas tree.

"Rich! Ben! Mike, Bill, Eddie- Great to see you guys, my God, today has been absolute hell-" She seemed to notice she was getting sidetracked, and shook her head, frazzled, getting back into her working head space. "Sorry. What can I get you guys?"

"An affogato for me, my dear, and- Hey, Eds, do you like ice cream? Whatever- Get a second one for him, too. He needs to branch out a little." Eddie gaped, seconds from a retort as Richie ordered for him, but then Richie stepped aside and shot him a glance that was unusually sincere. "Hey, don't worry. It's another low-caffeine one, and it's more vanilla ice cream than anything else. You'll love it, I swear."

"Yeah, fine," Eddie set his jaw tight.

"One bl-black coffee and an amer-amer-am-" Bill bit his tongue, screwing his eyes shut, and then, with a sigh, forced out the words, "americano. Jesus." Bev gave him a calm smile, a silent 'it's alright, dude' and turned to Ben and Mike who ordered a coffee with two creams and two sugars and a lemonade. Richie offered to pay, abusing his employees discount, and then the group all turned to the table in the corner where Stan was still seated with a book in his hand. As the group approached he placed the small origami crane he used as a bookmark between the pages of The Shining and tucked the novel away- the front cover had been battered and frayed, a sign of having been read and reread for years and years. Clearly, the book was cherished.

"Great choice, Stanny," Richie complimented with a nod towards Stan's backpack, where the book had been hidden away, "You a fan of horror?" Stanley was quick to shake his head, hugging himself gently and running his hands along his upper arms.

"I hate it. Bill is making me read it. It's torture." Bill let out a barking laugh as he took his seat, having pulled up an extra chair from another table. Two people would have to squish into the corners since this spot was only meant to seat four- no one seemed to mind.

"So you're the horror fanatic, then. Glad to see we have something in common! What's your favourite movie?" Taking his own seat on Stan's other side, Richie held his head up with his hand, elbow planted on the tabletop, his curiosity officially piqued. Ben and Mike weren't fond of the gore-packed stuff Richie enjoyed, so Bev was the only one who ever went to the theater with him; the idea of having another friend to catch some films with was just swell.

"That's tough to suh-say," Bill tapped his finger against the table, glancing sidelong at Eddie, "We went to see H-Halloween a few years back. I luh-liked that one a lot, but now wh-whenever I see it I think of when your m-mom found out-"

"Shut up, Bill," Eddie cut him off with a harsh glare, and then forced his expression to soften, covering up his snappiness with a red face and a sarcastic, "D-Don't remind me." It was clear he was embarrassed- Richie would have pressed, since he couldn't keep his trashmouth shut sometimes (all the time), but Beverly saved the day by hurrying over with a tray balanced precariously on one hand. Atop that tray sat the array of beverages that the group of six had ordered. With Beverly's fantastic memory, she began to hand out cup after cup to exactly who had requested them; Ben got his double-double, Mike his lemonade, Bill his americano, Stan his black coffee (Beverly knew it was for him even though he hadn't been at the till- not many people ordered coffee black and she remembered him from that first night.). Richie and Eddie were given their double order of affogato, an Italian coffee-based dessert consisting of a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a shot of espresso on the side.

"Thanks, Bevvie," Richie bid her adieu with a two-fingered salute and then turned all of his attention towards Eddie, "Alright," he began, "Eds,"

"-Don't call me that-"

"-you're about to taste the best thing you've ever had in your life. Follow my lead," Richie plucked up the small one-ounce shot glass of espresso, and, reluctantly, Eddie did the same. In tandem, they poured the coffee over the ice cream, then grabbed their spoons. Eddie was the first to take a scoop, shooting Richie a glance that he couldn't decipher before taking the bite. For the quickest second his eyes seemed to light up, and then he swallowed down the obvious delight and simply shrugged his shoulders.

"It's alright, I guess," He grumbled, and then proceeded to devour the next bite of the treat. Richie grinned wide, taking a scoop of his own and lifting it into the air, accepting his victory.

"I would like to propose a toast!" He called, and all eyes turned to him, "To Stuttering Bill, Stan the Man, and Eddie Spaghetti- Welcome to the Losers Club!" With a cheer from nearly all- Eddie settling for a small smile- the group burst into friendly chatter. Richie's toast held some sort of unseen monumental weight- everyone felt it- even Beverly, who was behind the counter and working away, had paused to raise her water bottle with bright eyes. Though everyone felt it- it, being that feeling of rightness- no one said a word. It wasn't necessary. Richie, Ben, Beverly and Mike had been a quartet for a few years now, as thick as thieves- they had called themselves the 'Losers Club' and, until Eddie, Stan and Bill arrived, the four of them had been the only members. No one could be certain what had changed, but, just like that, all seven knew that they were a singular unit. It was no longer Richie, Ben, Beverly and Mike. Now, it was Richie, Ben, Beverly, Mike, Eddie, Bill and Stan. The Losers Club with a capital L and a capital C.

In a fleeting moment, Eddie caught Bill's gaze, and held it. The redhead was wearing his leadership smile, that easy-breezy full-face grin that so easily gained him respect. Once the two's eyes clicked, that smile shifted into something else, something softer, something that Bill reserved for Eddie. It was a brotherly smile- After all, Bill was the brother Eddie had never had. Bill was the rock, the island in the middle of the ocean, the one thing that never failed to keep Eddie sane, the solace in the storm that had been his mother, and was now the unfamiliar territory of Portland. In that smile was an unspoken promise, as well as something else. The promise was These people will keep you safe. The 'something else' was Bill's pride- his pride in Eddie. I'm proud of you, Eds, the smile said. You're doing great. For the first time in his life, Eddie was fearless. His own smile said Thank you.

#reddie #reddie fanfiction #richie tozier #edde kaspbrak #stan uris #stanley uris #bill denbrough #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #mike hanlon #the losers club #it #it movie #it chapter 1 #it chapter 2 #it 2017 #it 2019

5 notes · View notes

inkribbon796 · 4 years ago

Text

Egotober Day 13: Happy Anniversary!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Prompt: Door

Summary: Dark is not having a good day, everything seems to be going wrong and even the body he’s in is trying to fight against him.

A/N: you think I forgot about the Who Killed Markiplier anniversary? No! I just didn’t want it to compete with Anti’s birthday.

Warnings: none

Dark should have known from the moment he tried to get up, it was going to be one of those days.

The awful day began with a nightmare. It wasn’t the typical reliving of watching Marc hit the ground, or the reoccurring monster of a nightmare where Wilford found out what he and his body chose to stop work and we could only watch him walk away from him.

No, this time Dark was standing in front of a door, one that seemed to be bulging and having some monster beating against it. Everything that reminded Dark about how small and uncomfortable this form was. How ill-fitting it had been when the Entity had finally made its desperate escape from the House.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Dark shouted at the door. “I fit.”

There was a loud scream that sounded just like Dark, Celine, and Damien.

“I don’t fit.”

“He’ll find out.”

“They’ll find out.”

Dark screamed and snarled back and the door splintered.

And then he woke up in bed, staring at the ceiling and aware of the fact that every inch of his body was in pain. To make matters worse the body that Dark was inhabiting suddenly remembered it was dead, that it had been ripped away from and stolen from its rightful owner.

The Entity was paralyzed by pain and felt blood pool around his stomach. His pride, and a dab of fear, kept him from reaching out to the body next to him.

It took a long time to get his pain under control and he finally did reach out to Wilford, calling out to the man awake. He was huffy and disgruntled at first, until he looked over and saw Dark and immediately dash off to get something to help clean him up.

After the bleeding had stopped and everything was clean, Dark got a little bit of sleep. But while the pain had completely gone away, he found he had an awful migraine.

Regrettably he was forced to admit defeat and call in sick from Damien’s job. He could only deal with one circus today and his Network took priority.

Of course nothing went right, Yan managed to break the best coffee maker in the building, the one Dark always used. Illinois was gone, he was taking care of some business outside the city, and he knew Wil was up to something by the way his aura kept creeping back towards him but the madman himself never showed up. Almost like he was checking on his location to be sure Dark hadn’t noticed something.

Problem after problem kept cropping up and Dark’s migraine was almost a shrill whistle in his brain. It was making his red and blue souls angry and that compounded the pain even more as their screams rattled around in Dark’s skull. He wanted the whole world to die and ordered Ed and Google to stay away from him if they didn’t want to die.

Then, barely a minute from the time Dark was set to leave, Wilford showed up. Loud and all bright smiles and looking like he was about to distract Dark from finding out about whatever he had broken or killed.

“Darky, I have a surprise for you,” Wilford said in a sing-song tone, a bouquet of black tulips behind his back.

“Wilford, dammit!” Dark slammed his aura like a fist on his desk. “I cannot deal witth anymore fucking bullshit today! What did you do?”

“I,” Wilford and the flowers he’d conjured wilted a little. “I didn’t do anything, I was just bringing you something.”

Dark felt bad for snapping and tried to reign in that boiling rage that he’d been using to distract himself from the constant pain, curling his hands into fists. “Alright, what is it?”

Wil gave a huge smile and seemed to perk right up, pulling the flowers behind his back. They looked pristine and beautiful. “Happy anniversary, Darkling. I remembered this time.”

Internally in his mind, Dark’s screams were more than from pain. This wasn’t the day that Wil and Dark had met in Egoton again after Dark began taking over the city and Wilford was little more than a public menace. It was the first time Dark and Wil had met in the Manor . . . as William began to go mad.

But Dark mentally caught up, forcing the body he was to stand up and accept the flowers. “Oh, thank you.”

Dark reached into the Void for the gift he’d planned to give him on their anniversary but he’d think of something new to give him on that day. It’s not like Wilford kept track of the days after all.

Holding out the box, Dark said, “Happy anniversary, my dear.”

Wilford jumped a bit in excitement and opened the gift to see a set of throwing daggers engraved with Wilford’s name and mustache. The hilt had something that Wil could spin and turn. Which he immediately started doing. “I love it.”

His eyes seemed to glimmer, “We should go out for a stroll. It’s getting late out and I love the way the moon hits your eyes.”

Dark meant to say no, that he was tired, his body hurt, but he looked at Wilford and decided that he didn’t want the man to step away from him. “Sure.”

“Excellent, let’s go,” Wilford grinned, offering out his arm.

“Let me clean myself up,” Dark evaded, placing the flowers in a vase he kept in the office in case Wilford strolled in with a gift or bribe for Dark. “Would you be a gentleman and get the door for me?”

Wilford used his aura to rip a hole in reality that led right into the master bedroom’s en-suite bathroom. Dark strolled through and shut the portal behind himself. The Entity tried to collect his thoughts and compose himself.

Dark gripped onto the door, leaning against it as he tried to will his stolen body to obey him. Dark glared into the mirror, staring at his stolen body. “You are mine now, and you will obey me.”

He continued to stare at “his” reflection and growled, “We are going to have a nice night with Wilford or I will break more of you in the process. Y/N is not getting you back.”

Slowly the pain receded to what Dark considered a manageable level. He forced his own aura into compliance as he checked his eyeliner and makeup, reapplying it as needed. Then he magically shifted into a new suit and tie. Once his self-investigation was passed, not a hair out of place to betray his still raging migraine, Dark opened up a portal to his office and back to Wilford who just smiled at him and Dark felt pretty successful. He took Wilford’s offered arm and Wilford led them out by portal into the city.

To what was supposed to be a nice walk, and then Dark promised himself he’d go home and have an early night.

But it didn’t happen.

None of it happened.

At first it was alright, peaceful. Wilford and Dark were walking around town as Wilford told Dark about his day. All of it was extremely exaggerated. He was sure that if Wilford had managed to find time to slip away and punch tigers in the Amazon — a creature that didn’t even live on that continent — Dark would have heard about it. But seeing Wilford smiling was brightening up Dark’s mood considerably. It was managing to drive the pain away. Dark didn’t know how it was possible but the world was just more bearable with him around.

Then Silver appeared, he flew in and slammed into Dark, the Entity barely able to get his aura up in time to shield him from the impact.

Wilford tried to grab Dark as he was ripped off his arm but wasn’t fast enough.

Dark’s body’s back protested the hit when he slammed against a building wall.

“Are you mad‽” Dark roared.

“Darkling!” Wil shouted out but he was cut off by Marvin who was just throwing spells at him to keep him occupied.

“No, I’m not letting you pull this, what are you up to,” Silver ordered.

Dark anger was boiling and now that his object of attention wasn’t Wilford or the kids, or someone of value to him, he lashed out at Silver, screaming in rage at him.

All the anger and pain that had been building up lashed out at the hero. He lunged at Silver and completely missed in the fight that Wilford was getting farther away from him, and that his own reserves were drying up much faster than expected.

Until finally the stolen, defiant, overtaxed body simply gave up. Dark felt a new, fresh, white hot pain lace up his nerves until it hit something in him and suddenly everything went black. His body had shut down on him. Forcing him to take the rest he should have taken hours ago.

Silver, for his part, stopped fighting when Dark suddenly locked up and dropped to the ground. At first he thought it was an act of some kind. He’d never seen Dark play the defenseless unconscious victim but after a minute or two he didn’t get up. He was just laying there. His aura nowhere in sight and the ringing gone.

So he ventured closer.

Nothing.

Silver tapped Dark on the shoulder, trying to wake him up.

Still nothing.

Tentatively Silver picked Dark up, finding that he was a lot lighter than he expected, but wasn’t sure if that was his super strength or not.

Even this didn’t rouse Dark from whatever happened.

Alarmed and concerned about whatever could make a force of nature, a demon as powerful as Dark sudden collapse with no warning, Silver called an immediate retreat. Whoever was dealing with the massive museum robbery five blocks over could keep fighting it but he wanted this area evacuated. Then he took off for the police station. They’d deal with this one step at a time.

To say Abe and the other officers were shocked when Silver flew in with Dark was an understatement. But Silver didn’t stop to answer questions until they’d placed Dark in a magic-proof container. It allowed nothing magical-related in or out once the doors were locked. Marvin had improved it since their last break out and Silver carefully placed Dark’s unconscious body — or Silver supposed it was actually Damien’s since that’s what he had been led to believe — on the cot. He was worried when he couldn’t feel a pulse or feel Damien breathing and Abe immediately tried to do compressions.

Marvin, when he arrived, successfully tricking Wil into going somewhere else to hide them some time, was ecstatic to find Dark in jail but less so when he found them trying to revive the Entity.

Silver demanded Marvin check to see if Damien was still in there and after a test with a white feather that turned a vibrant almost cyan blue, the three of them figured that the lack of a heartbeat or a pulse was just a dark thing. That if Damien was fine, it was alright.

Abe then locked up the cell and the whole thing buzzed with magic. For the next five minutes Dark didn’t move and everyone just waited with bated breath as Silver gave his report and slowly the situation became clear.

As it turned out, Dark and Wilford had absolutely nothing to do with the robbery. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Silver felt a little bad.

Granted Dark deserved to get his manipulative ass thrown in jail. He was a murderer, had stolen and lied before. He had successfully managed to corrupt every head of office the city’s government had ever had, countless people were in Dark’s back pocket. He’d destroyed people’s lives without batting an eye and mostly likely when he got out he would do so again. But this situation didn’t sit right with him.

Silver had attacked Dark unprovoked and something about this victory felt cheated. Like this victory hadn’t been either of their doing.

The hero noticed the grey staticky aura that normal clung to things Dark touched was leeching off his suit, revealing that instead of a black suit he had a very dark blue suit with matching pants and tie. Silver just stared at the suit, wondering if Dark’s suit had ever been black and he’d been playing a massive trick on them.

Three hours after closing the cell, Silver walked back in to check on Dark and saw the demon starting to pick himself up off the cot. He looked rough.

The hero rushed, “Fuck, Dark, you okay?”

Dark sat up and silently glared at Silver for a second before the chair that was bolted to ground was ripped off by Dark’s aura and thrown at the cell wall in Silver’s direction.

“Right, stupid question, sorry,” Silver apologized. “Hey so, there was a bit of a misunderstanding. Turns out you two had nothing to do with that robbery so we took that off your record.”

“So you’ll let me go?” Dark attempted.

“Oh fuck no,” Silver told him. “Between all the corruption and murder, and just being the fucking worst; we have enough to put you away for all of time.”

“Really?” Dark seemed to be in a slightly better mood than during their fight. “What time is it?”

“Bout 11, at night,” Silver told him. “Hey you want me to grab you a coffee, you look like you could use one.”

“Yes, thank you,” Dark told him, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. He seemed to be relaxing.

“How do you take it?” Silver asked.

Dark didn’t open his eyes, “No cream, two sugars.”

“You don’t take it completely black,” Silver asked, surprised.

Dark scoffed, “No.”

“Huh, I’ve been fighting you for so long, I feel like I should have known that,” Silver thought out loud.

The Entity didn’t give a response of how it was rightfully none of Silver’s business how Dark took his coffee. Silver left and Dark told the time not to investigate his cell but to relax. A bit. His nap had actually brought his migraine down to a dull buzz and Dark could deal with that. He could think. Most of the pain had left his body except for the slight neck, back and stomach pain that usually accompanied the body he was in.

Silver came back after a bit with a coffee and a bottle of water for him. “Hey so if you two had nothing to do with that heist, what were you doing?”

Dark’s first impression was to ask: “what heist?” But he figured that would give away the fact that Dark didn’t know what was going on all day. So he just answered, “It was anniversary night before you two showed up.”

“Oh,” Silver opened the little tray and slid the coffee onto the little table they kept just so no hands came in or out of the cell and disrupted the magical barrier. “Sorry about the date.”

Dark finally stood up, straightening out his suit jacket and sweeping his bangs back. He waved Silver off as he grabbed the cup, the cell bars between them as Dark swirled the coffee with his aura and took a sip. “Don’t be, I should have insisted staying indoors, Enjoy this victory, you won’t get another.”

“Marv’s gonna be riding this high for ages,” Silver warned.

“I’m sure,” Dark agreed in-between sips as he was still drinking his coffee.

“Hey, while I’ve got you here, can I ask you something?” Silver said.

“What, not going to pretend this will keep me?” Dark grinned as he gestured with the cup around the cell.

“Nah,” Silver shook his head, “I’ll come in tomorrow and you’ll be gone. Either you’ll pay someone off or you’ll find some other way out.”

“Hmmm,” Dark smiled and downed the last of his coffee, setting it down on the table. He sat down on the remaining space, resting an ankle up on his knee and looking very much like a caged tiger in a zoo. And the zoo only had ten-foot walls. “Ask away then, hero.”

“Why did you get kids,” Silver asked, “never took you for the familial-settle-down type.”

“I’m not and I’d kill you to maintain it,” Dark warned.

“Right, right,” Silver said, not believing it for a second. “But still you raised six kids. Six whole ankle biters with Wilford Motherluvin’ Warfstache. That just seems like something you planned.”

“The first one, absolutely not,” Dark admitted, “the next five, yes.”

“So how bad was it? Cause the stories I’ve heard sound ridiculous,” Silver chuckled. “Yancy said that Host filled a super soaker with hydrochloric acid once.”

“Ughhh!” Dark rolled his eyes, leaning back a bit. “Arthur was impossible, even more so when he started getting his powers. Illinois and Arthur always had this ridiculous rivalry I never understood.”

“Sounds like you two never had a dull moment,” Silver commented.

Dark made an amused little huff, “I wish I had known that your time traveler wasn’t as powerful as I had thought, I would have raised them differently. But there’s little point in that now.”

“Like how?” Silver crossed his arm in front of him.

“Let them see and experience more of the world. Kay and Bim would have enjoyed it.” Dark sighed. “That is my only true regret, not taking the time to do more research. I always assume the worst with your insane powers.”

“You raised a teenage daughter who can summon weapons, and only weapons out of thin air,” Silver reminded. “I can fly and lift stuff, which of us is the weird one.”

“You obviously,” Dark told him.

“I get it,” Silver joked, “you’re biased, she’s the perfect princess. I get it.”

“I always felt bad for Yan,” Dark admitted. “House full of boys, she always wanted a little sister when she was a child.”

“If you got the kids in the first place, what’s one more?” Silver asked.

Dark almost made a scoffing laughing sound, “A seventh one? We could barely handle six, are you insane?”

Silver just laughed at that, “Me? I’m the crazy one? I’m not the one who settled down with Wilford fucking Warfstache.”

“I always knew Wil would make a good father, even though he does get careless at times,” Dark told him. “Bim convinced me of that.”

Silver quiet for a little bit, “You know you’re a devious asshole and a complete bastard, and Wil is butt-fuck insane, but I’m actually really happy to know that you two actually took care of those kids. When I first figured out about Bim and King I was pissed and scared; but despite the lengthy criminal records, you didn’t do half bad.”

Dark didn’t like the fluttering emotion in his chest, so he scoffed and looked away, “If you’re quite done, I think I’ll take another nap before I leave. Keep your magician away if he wants to keep his hands.”

“Didn’t you just down a whole coffee?” Silver pointed out.

“Unlike you lower mortals, I don’t need the caffeine, I just like the coffee,” Dark told him and walked over to the cot and laid down. “Now go away.”

“Asshole,” Silver rolled his eyes but with a quick goodbye he let Dark be. Silver went to go talk to Abe and Marvin and during that time there was an alarm that went off and Silver rushed with Marvin to find the door of the cell had heavy damage, as if something had come underneath to dislodge the door and disrupt the spells keeping the cell locked down. There was already a Void portal closing in the cell as they raced in.

Marvin swore at losing Dark but Silver helped fix the door and then went home to get some rest. It was a long day.

“And there we go,” Wil smiled as he laid Dark down in the bed. Dark was in his pajamas and Wilford was gently combing his hands through Dark’s hair, kissing the top of his head. “I’m sorry it took us so long, Darky. Those brutes didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“No, I even got a nap out of it,” Dark dismissed, trying to downplay the incident.

“If I’m done,” Google reminded both of them he was still in the room from when Google had brought him through after helping with the cell door because the android wasn’t magical in nature.

“Yes, if you don’t come into work tomorrow, I won’t question it,” Dark told him.

Google didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and left through a portal that Dark summoned for him. Leaving Wil and Dark alone.

“I should go back there and give them a piece of my mind,” Wilford threatened angrily. “Putting you in that cage. I should have done something more. I had so many plans for tonight.”

“We’ll pick them up tomorrow, Wil. Come to bed, I’m tired.” Dark stroked the side of Wil’s face.

Wilford smiled lovingly, he changed into his own sleepwear and laid next to Dark, watching over him as he slept until Wilford too fell asleep, curled around his love protectively.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Egotober2020 #Markiplier #Jacksepticeye #Darkiplier #Wilford Warfstache #Silver Shepherd #Darkstache #WKM angst #not as much of a jerk as you could have been

17 notes · View notes

that-one-gay-girl · 4 years ago

Text

Gone - Ch.1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2348

Summary: When the group thinks they have a simple salt and burn the case takes a turn for the worse and changes the lives of everyone forever.

Warning: possible character death, angst, sad dean (yes that's a warning), violence

A/N: This story is inspired by Ed Sheeran’s All of the Stars. The words in bold is the section that inspired this story, also with my job being very slow until kids come back to in person learning I'll probably continue to post more often. Once kids come back to school I won’t have as much free time to write sadly.

“It’s just another night, and I’m staring at the moon. I saw a shooting star and I thought of you.” Dean looked across the empty passenger seat where you used to sit. Another tear slips down Dean's face as he wipes it away harshly, “How did this happen?” he cries out in the front seat of the impala.

-three months ago-

The hunt was going great,it was a simple salt and burn, an in and out job. When the case was finished the three of you went back to the motel. You went to pick up food for everyone and saw a group of witches kill a man in the alleyway. You knew there was no way you’d be able to take them down yourself so you sped back to the motel to tell the boys what you saw. From that night it took another two weeks before the three of you pinned the witches down to one location. The three of you had managed to kill all the witches except the leader. Dean and Sam were pinned against the wall while the witch threw you across the dirty floor, the sickening sound of your bones cracking echoed through the room as you hit the ground. You were on the floor trying to break free from whatever kept you from moving when multiple knives cut through your body.

Another knife was plunged through your body all the while, the witch laughed maniacally. Screams tore your throat apart as the witch continued her assault. Dean and Sam's shouts were barely heard over your screaming. Before anyone else could move Cas appeared behind the witch driving a blade through her heart, killing her instantly. Sam and Dean drop to the ground as the magic force breaks. Dean runs to your side instantly trying to stop the bleeding but your body is covered in deep gashes everywhere. “You’re going to be ok Y/n, Cas! You have to heal her!” He screams at the angel. Cas presses two fingers to your head a few cuts healing slightly, but nothing more. “I’m sorry Dean, I’m too weak to heal her.” Dean's hands press harder against your abdomen trying to stop the bleeding from the biggest wound. “You are not dying! You h-hear me? Keep those beautiful eyes open for me baby.” Dean picks you up as you groan in pain, you cough harshly as blood spills from your mouth. Sam and Cas run ahead of Dean getting into the impala. Dean gets into the back carefully with you as Sam slams on the Gas speeding to the hospital. “D-Dean, I love you” Your voice cracks weakly as your eyes grow heavy. “Y/n open your eyes! Y/n!” Dean panics as your eyes close,your body going limp. “No! Sam drives faster!” He screams, tears streaming down his face.

Swinging into the parking lot Sam slams on the break, the sound of screeching asphalt heard through the silent night. Dean runs into the emergency room with you in his arms. “Help! She's hurt and she just stopped breathing! Help her dammit!” He screams at the medical staff as they place your body on a stretcher moving you into a trauma room. A nurse holds Dean back as he tries to enter the room. “Sir, they need to help her and they can’t do that with you in the room.” Dean tries to fit his way into the room again when he hears a doctor shout, “I’ve got a pulse!” Dean stops fighting then, the news that you are indeed alive helps him just enough to move and sit in the waiting room. Sam and Cas join Dean shortly after, for hours the three of them sit in uncomfortable hospital chairs, waiting, hoping, and praying that you will pull through this and be ok. When a nurse comes out she informs the group of men that you are alive but still unstable and will be in surgery for the next several hours.

5 hours later a Doctor comes out looking exhausted. “Is there any family for Elise Maine?” Dean recognizes the fake name he gave the hospital immediately. He quickly punches Sam's shoulder to wake him before walking to the doctor. “Is she ok?” Dean asks worriedly. The only news he’d gotten in the past 10 hours was that you were alive but in bad condition. Sam walks up next to Dean as the Doctor begins to share your condition. “It was a long surgery, but she pulled through” the doctor smiles weakly “Unfortunately, the damage done to her body was extensive. She came in with multiple stab wounds, a skull fracture, a damaged leg, and major blood loss. The stab wounds we were able to repair and we are giving her blood transfusions to replace the lost blood. Our neurosurgeon fixed the skull fracture but she will have to be monitored closely. The one thing we were unable to repair was the leg, the leg was badly broken and had a major infection. We had no choice but to amputate.” Dean keeps his eyes trained on the ground as he listens to the doctor share the news. “I-is there anything else? Can I see her?” He asks, his voice cracking. “Due to the blood loss her body has gone into a coma, we don’t know when or if she will wake up. I can show you to her room but I have to prepare you. There's lots of wires, machines and she has a tube in her throat to help her breathe.” Dean nods his head as he follows the doctor. Sam sits back in his chair to give Dean some time alone to process everything.

Dean spent another three hours in your room before his tears stopped. He would do everything in his power to protect you and help you. He knew with the loss of your leg hunting might be out of the cards for a while...or forever, he thought to himself. So that is what Dean did, everyday for three months he sat beside you holding your hand talking to you, keeping you company, and promising to protect you no matter what.Throughout the months Dean and Sam would take shifts with you, never leaving you alone for long. One evening Sam came up to the hospital that day to switch out with Dean so he could go home to shower and eat. “I’ll be back in two hours, call me if anything changes” He says to Sam, leaning down and kissing your forehead, “I’ll be quick sweetie.”

As Dean drives back to the bunker, he passes a field and pulls off parking baby, He turns off the engine staring at the stars for a few minutes before breaking down. “It’s just another night, and I’m staring at the moon. I saw a shooting star and I thought of you.”

Dean looked across the empty passenger seat where you used to sit. Another tear slips down Dean's face as he wipes it away harshly, “How did this happen?” he cries out, eyes drifting shut slowly, exhaustion pulling him down.

Dean is startled awake by the ringing of his phone and sits up groggily rubbing his sore neck. Looking at the clock he notices he’s been asleep for three hours. Quickly grabbing the phone he picks up the phone. “Sam? Is Y/n ok!?” he questions “Dean you need to get back here. Now.” Sam hangs up the phone before Dean can speak again. Tossing the phone in the seat beside him Dean speeds off towards the hospital different scenarios playing through his head. Were you dead? Another complication? As Dean pulls into a parking spot, he runs into the hospital taking the elevator to your room. The moment the doors opened Dean was out and turning the corner to get to your room. The blinds were still closed, but Dean could hear laughter coming from the room. Without wasting another second Dean throws open the door, his eyes landing on your body sitting up in the bed laughing. “Oh my God.” the words spill from his mouth.

-2 hours earlier-

Sam was sitting in the chair next to your bed reading aloud Harry Potter, one of your favorite books. Sam knew it was silly but he thought if he did things you liked it would help you wake up. So he would read you Harry Potter, play your favorite music, and watch movies with you. All while you laid in a coma. The monitors started beeping slightly before stopping. Sam looked up from the book looking you over and seeing no changes, so he pays no mind to it. he begins reading again when the monitors start beeping rapidly. “Nurse! I need help here!” Sam throws open the door shouting. Nurses and Doctors run in pushing Sam out of the room and closing the door. 20 minutes later the door opens again as the nurses and doctors exit. The doctor walks over to Sam a small smile on his face, “She’s awake. We are going to need to take her for some testing shortly but I would go ahead and call her husband.” The doctor pats Sam on the shoulder before leaving.

The nurse in your room adjusts the bed so you are sitting up. She helps you drink some water to ease the pain in your throat. “Where am I?” you question her in a scratchy voice. “You’re at Northwest Regional” she responds as she gives you medicine before leaving. You look around trying to remember everything that happens. The last thing you remember was being thrown like a ragdoll and stabbed by the witch but then it’s blank. The doctor told you they amputated your leg, but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to look yet. Taking a deep breath you throw the covers off you, staring down at the space where your leg used to be. You quickly cover your lower half of your body as the door opens. Looking up you see the tall figure of Sam Winchester. “Sam!” you say relieved. “Where's Dean?” you ask him curiously. “I just called him, he’ll be here soon. How are you feeling?” you shrug in response “I guess I’m a little sore but that's probably expected when you're in a coma for months.” you joke. “Cracking jokes already? It’s like nothing ever happened.” He responds with a bright smile. “I'll never hunt again will I?” you ask him quietly. “Let’s just worry about getting you all healed up. They had to take you to surgery about two weeks ago for a complication so you’ve got some fresh wounds.” he tells you solemnly. “Alright, so catch me up on what I've missed” you say, pushing back your emotions.

As Sam tells you everything that's happened in 3 months you can’t help but laugh, “Jody got on dating apps?” you laugh as the door to your room opens and Dean walks in, “Oh my God”. You look up at the new voice in the room recognizing Dean immediately. He had a beard now and you would be lying if you didn’t think he looked good. “Dean” you smile. He rushes over to you pulling your body into his. “I never thought I would see those beautiful eyes again” He cries as he kisses you. “Hey, I’m right here besides if I die, who would keep you in check?” you joke as tears fall from your eyes. “I’ll give you guys some time alone,” Sam says as he steps out of the room. Taking Sam’s seat Dean asks you, “How are you feeling? Are you ok? Are you in pain? Have the doctors told you everything?” He shoots questions rapidly at you. “I'm fine, a little sore but they gave me pain meds, and yeah...they told me everything” you say glancing quickly at where your leg used to be. “When can I leave this place?” you ask holding Dean's hand, not wanting him to leave your side. “Well, we will have to talk to the doctors but let's not rush anything ok? You need time to heal and I don’t want you pushing yourself too hard.” he tells you sincerely. Only nodding in response laying back down you close your eyes as you fall into a medicine induced sleep.

-one week later-

The nurse comes in with a wheelchair as you zip up your jacket, it was now snowing outside and you were finally being released from the hospital. “Ok, all your stuff is packed and in the car” Sam says as the nurse helps you into the wheelchair “I put all her discharge information in the clear bag, along with her medications and physical therapy information, if she experiences any unusual pain please come in right away.” she tells Dean and Sam. “Thank you for your help” Dean says as they help you into the impala, you can’t help the smile creeping on your face as you feel the leather seats of Baby against you.

The drive home is quiet, Dean and Sam help you into the wheelchair and guide you to your shared room with Dean. “How about a shower to wash all that hospital stuff off?” Dean asks you as they set your bags down. “Just run a bath please” you say looking down at the stump of your leg. Wiping away tears roughly. Sam leaves the room as Dean takes you to the bathroom running the bath. Once Dean lowers you into the bathtub, Dean sits on the toilet as he washes your hair. In the next moment the damn burst and all the emotions and pain you’d been pushing down breaks through. “I love you, and you are going to get through this Y/n.” He tells you stroking your hair holding you as you cry. “Dean, I'm useless, I’ll never hunt again, I can’t even take a damn shower!” you cry out. Dean holds back tears of his own as he responds. I’ve got you, shh…I’ve got you baby”

Chapter 2

Dean/Jensen Taglist:

@akshi8278 @hobby27

#dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fic #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #series #gone

22 notes · View notes