#I have such a hard time believing I’m worth all the trouble

[floral-hex]

lol as soon as I match with someone on tinder, I delete the app because I’m a scaredy cat and don’t want to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known 😅

[quarterlifekitty]

I just read the baby trapping HC’s… what if it was the reverse? reader baby trapping THEM

I think that depends entirely upon how cleverly you went about it! I’m gonna answer this with the assumption that they match your freak on the matter lmao

cw: dubcon, baby trapping

And as a preamble: it’s literally so easy for you. For any of them. Because quite honestly if they’re hard, and you say you’re on birth control, they’re gonna believe you. And really, most of them probably would’ve just assumed you were if you let them hit it raw. But we’re gonna say you lied about being on the pill for this ask.

Gaz is such a sweet guy. He’s literally just like “I’m happy if you’re happy, love” when you tell him the news. These things happen, and he has no reason not to believe you, right? What does it matter as long as you’re both happy?

Soap has his suspicions about it. But again, it’s not like he was really pressing you for reassurance that it was safe when he came inside you— when he gets like that, the dog in him takes over and there’s no stopping him. And maybe he’s not sure initially, to be honest, but then he thinks about a little bundle that has the same eyes as you, and he just can’t bring himself to be upset. Even if you are a liar.

Ghost, regardless of how he feels on the news, is going to investigate. He can’t help himself. Fucker is nosy. And you would’ve known this! So you’ve got it all set up for him to find. Water glass on your nightstand, the drawer just slightly ajar— not even enough to see inside, but enough to make him curious. He opens, sees the round of pills, and the timing all checks out. All taken right up until recently— when you tested positive. And you’re not careless to leave them in the trash. They were flushed. And from before that— you have drawer in the kitchen where you often shove the stray contents of your handbag. And there are receipts. A few months worth, from the pharmacy, with exactly what you bought. If you have a menstrual/symptom calendar app on your phone, it’s all logged. There are notifications in your reminder app telling you to refill your prescription. A number in your contacts that matches up with the doctor listed on the prescription. It’s the fact that it’s too neat that tips him off. Every piece of evidence he could’ve ever asked for is there, and that’s how he knows it isn’t natural. And it makes him smile. It’s touching— how much care you put into securing him in your life forever. Kid’ll be a terror, with the two of you as the parents. Too capable.

Price had a feeling in his gut when you told him you were on the pill. He thought about pulling out just to see how far you’d take things. In the end, finishing inside of you was like calling your bluff to him. He’d be fine with waiting a month or two to see if he was right. In the meantime, he’ll be looking at paint swatches for the nursery.

König is not looking a gift horse in the mouth. But if he does find out, he’s actually grateful. Saved him the trouble of asking you to have his baby, which was just one of a few questions wracking his nerves when it came to you. And this provides him the perfect opportunity to ask you to marry him! Doesn’t have to torture himself with sussing out your ring size, the kind you’d want, waiting for just the right moment. He asks you when you tell him you’re pregnant— it’s like everything is coming together. It’s a fairy tale ending for him!

Nikolai confronts you when you tell him that you’re pregnant. There’s a sly smile on his face. He teases a bit. Isn’t that just so strange? That you’d be unlucky enough for that tiny little chance of it failing was enough. And he has a way of making you squirm, of prodding you until you tell him what he wants. You can’t help but smile when he smiles, feeling a little giddy. He makes it seem all light and cute— so you do spill the truth. And he’ll pick you up and spin you as he laughs. His malyshka is so naughty, isn’t she? Lying to him like that, like he wouldn’t find out. Like wouldn’t give her a baby just as soon as she asked. Like he wasn’t planning on pulling a similar move in the near future.

[firelilyfox]

Deadly Eyes

Dune: Paul Atreides x female reader

Warnings: se&ual harassment / angst / curses / hateful words / comfort

If someone means harm to the girl he loves, Paul won't hesitate

Words: 1k

_______________________________

You stare at the men and women right in front of you. All of them were looking at you with the same emotions pictured in their faces. Disgust. Outrage. 

Today was the first day after Paul announced your relationship to his people. The Fremen welcomed you with open arms… well some of them at least. Your roots lies with none of the big houses. All you know about your family is, that they were travelers who never lived at the same place for more than a couple of years. You are one of the Lost Ones. But when Paul rescued you from being tortured by the brutal Harkonen a couple months ago, you never thought about traveling somewhere else again. Your people always praised that the soul is a free from wich never settles and never find the one and only home. Paul changed your way of thinking. With him you felt at home for the first time ever. 

„The Mahdi can’t be with someone who is lost“, one of the believers growled as you were passing by. All you wanted to do was taking a walk and exploring the hallways of the Sietch, one of the rocky formations what the Fremen call their home. And now you are standing in front of a hand full of believers who are talking bad about you. 

A old, wrinkly woman hisses. „You don’t belong here, Lost One.“ 

You look at her fully blue eyes. The same color your eyes have turned as an outcome to the effects of spice everywhere. „Please let me through. I don’t wish for trouble.“ 

Now a young man steps right in front of you. Too close to be comfortable with. You try to move and bring some distance between the two of you, but your back almost immediately hits the wall. Your chest tightens up. This feels like a cage. A cage of people who hate you. 

„But you are trouble, whore.“ He couldn’t have been more than five years older than you, but he was so intimidating that you wanted to flee before he would hurt you. You still are one of the Lost Ones. Their are no fighters. Your people staying alive because they run for dear life when problems appear. That’s why the Fremen always looked down on your kind. 

„All your people do, is stealing and living in the shadows. You are not worthy to be here. Your are not worthy to be with Muad’Dib“, he grabbed your neck with a tight grib. „But I’ll find some use for u, don’t you worry.“ 

The others looked away while he is dragging you to a shallow corner at the end of the hallway. Your screams got muffled by his greasy hand and silent tears filled your eyes. The back of your head hit the wall hard and your vision flickers for a moment. Fear crawling all over your body, followed by the tip of his knife. You’re trying to beg for him to stop, but all he does is giggling at your helplessness. 

„I will show you your worth and after that I will give your body to the desert. I will…“ 

A voice is shouting at the near distance. „Where is she?!“ The man fearlessly let’s go of you and hiding his knife. You fall down on your knees as Paul rushes around the corner. Gentle hands pulling you up and you begin to sob, hiding your face at his chest. 

„How dare you to touch her!“ Paul growls at the man who is now lowering his head in respect for his Duke. 

„I did not want to bring any disrespect to you, Mahdi. But this woman damages you reputation. She is not worthy to be …“ but Paul cuts him off. 

„She is equal to me. I am who I am today, because of her. How dare you to speak about her like that?“ His voice became dangerously silent and you could feel under your palms how tense his muscles were. As you look around you discover that people have stopped and watching the scene with wide eyes. 

You reach up to gently touch his cheek, so Paul would look at you. „I’m okay, Paul. Nothing happened. I’m unharmed.“ 

For a moment the coldness in his eyes vanished, but as he looked down at your neck and saw the bruises … he was ready to kill someone. Paul kisses your forehead and it feels like that he needed to do it just to calm himself down, before he would actually cut a throat. His grip around your waist thightens but not in a hurtful way. You never felt more protected as right here in is arms. 

Paul turns his head slowly. A deadly look on his face. The man kneeled down in fear of his punishment. „I will only say this once and for all. Who ever touches this woman and mean harm to her, will be sentenced to death. Without exceptions.“ He looks around, making eye contact with everyone who is watching. „Spread the word. I will personally kill everyone no matter if man or woman.“ 

The Fremen quickly leaving the place murmuring and chattering. The message was clear. If you break this rule, death by Muad’Dip will find you. 

„And for you“, Paul looked down at the man who tried to do unspeakable things to you. His voice full of dark rage. „If you ever come near her again or look at her even from afar, I’ll break your neck.“ He gave two other men a sign to carry him away. 

„I should have known that something like that might would happen“, Paul curses. „I’m so sorry. I should have never left you go alone.“ His eyes meet yours and the deep sorrow in them breaks your heart a little. 

„You couldn’t ever have guessed that. This isn’t your fault and it’s not your job to see something like that before it happens.“ 

Paul pulls you closer now that the two of you are alone. „But is is my job to protect you.“ 

„And you did.“ 

He leans his forehead against yours, taking a deep breath. His body is still tense but his touch is so gently. „I don’t want to imagine what could’ve happened if I weren’t be here on time … I couldn’t…“ his voice breaks. This is the side of him no one ever sees. The softness and the vulnerability. To everyone he is the fearless Muad’Dib. But to you he is Paul Atreides. The man who owns your heart. 

„Then don’t. You saved me. I am right here.“ To prove your point you get on your tiptoes and kiss him softly. Paul cups your face with his hands, holding you so close to him that nothing would have room in between. 

_____________________________________________

Thank you for reading! Comments, ideas & reposts are very welcome <3

[tarotwithavi]

A letter from your future self

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

This is a general reading so only take what resonates and leave the rest.

Masterlist ✉️ Paid services

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💞

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

Dear past me,

This is me sending you a big hug through this letter. It feels like you’re always pushing, always defending what you believe in. It’s been tough, I know. But I want you to remember something important: this struggle is shaping you into someone strong and unshakeable. Each time you stand your ground, you are becoming more of who you are meant to be.

There is a quiet power within you that often gets overlooked, even by you. It’s that deep, inner knowing ,your intuition that whispers truths only you can hear. Trust it. Trust yourself. You don’t always need to shout to be powerful; sometimes, the most potent strength comes from within, from a place of stillness and certainty. Let that inner voice guide you, even when things seem uncertain or confusing.

And speaking of confusion, I know there are moments when everything feels like a blur, like you’re lost in a fog and can’t see the path ahead. Those moments are scary, but they are also where your deepest wisdom lies. Don’t fear the unknown. Dive into it. Embrace it. This journey isn’t just about reaching a destination; it’s about discovering who you are when the light is dim, and the road is unclear.

I want you to know that your fire is what makes you unique. Your passion, your creativity, and your ability to lead with courage even when you’re scared, that's your gift to the world. You don’t need to hide your light or dim it for anyone. Keep that flame burning bright, because it will guide you through the darkest nights.

Remember, I’m already here, living the life you’re dreaming of. I’ve faced the fears, the battles, and the doubts, and I’ve come out the other side stronger and more certain of who I am. And you will, too. Trust in the journey, trust in yourself, and know that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Keep going. The future is waiting, and it’s more beautiful than you can imagine.

With love and faith,

Your Future Self

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

Dear troubled me,

I see you there, carrying so much on your shoulders, wondering if it's all going to be worth it. You've put in the work, tried so hard to make things right, and yet sometimes it feels like you're stuck in the same place, like nothing is changing. I know you're tired. I know you're feeling the weight of all the choices you've made and the dreams that haven’t turned out the way you’d hoped. But I promise you every step you’ve taken, every seed you’ve planted, is leading you somewhere important. Even when you can’t see it yet.

I know you’ve been overwhelmed. It feels like you’re doing everything alone, like no one really understands the pressure you're under. You’ve been carrying responsibilities that aren’t always yours to bear, trying to hold everything together, and sometimes, it just feels like too much. And it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to feel like you need a break. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You’re allowed to put down what isn’t yours and take care of yourself first.

You’ve also faced those moments of disappointment the kind that stays with you, that makes you question your choices and what you’ve lost along the way. I know it’s hard to see past what didn’t work out, to not let it define you. But what I want you to remember is that these moments are not the end of your story. They are a part of your journey, a testament to your courage to keep moving, to keep feeling, to keep believing in something more.

There will be nights when you feel like you can’t escape your thoughts, when the fears and worries seem to have no end. You are stronger than those thoughts. You are more than your darkest moments. You have the ability to change your narrative, to find your way back to peace. I know it feels heavy right now, but you have it within you to rise above it.

There is a new path waiting for you. A chance to step into something different, something that lights you up in ways you never thought possible. A fresh start where you’re no longer bound by what’s held you back, where you trust yourself enough to take that leap into the unknown. Your spirit is ready for this, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. Trust in the adventure that’s unfolding for you. Believe in the magic of new beginnings, and know that the future you’ve been dreaming of is closer than you think.

With all the love and faith in your strength,

Your Future Self

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

Dear Me,

I am writing to you from a time when things are clearer and lighter. I know right now, life feels like a series of choices and uncertainties. You’re standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. But I want to remind you of something very important: trust yourself. You have a pure heart and a courageous spirit, and that's all you need to move forward.

Life is bringing you a connection that is deep and meaningful. Embrace it fully, without fear. It might not look like what you expect or come at the most convenient time, but it will fill your heart in ways you can’t imagine. This is your time to take a leap, to jump into new experiences without overthinking, without doubting. This journey might feel risky, but it will lead you to places where your soul feels alive.

Along the way, you’ll meet someone or maybe a part of yourself who is passionate, romantic, and perhaps a bit of a dreamer. They (or you) will inspire you to see the beauty in the small things again. Follow these feelings; they are your compass. But remember, not everything will be perfect. There will be moments of conflict and struggle. Sometimes, it will feel like people are challenging you or taking advantage of you. There will be a sense of loss or tension, like you've been fighting battles that wear you down.

But through these struggles, you’ll discover something powerful within yourself. You’ll learn what is truly worth fighting for and what isn’t. You'll grow wiser, stronger, and more determined. You'll start to see yourself in a new light a light that burns bright with confidence, creativity, and fire. You’ll become the person who knows her worth and doesn’t settle for less.

In the end, you’ll find a place of peace and abundance. A place where you’re comfortable in your own skin, where you feel secure and proud of what you’ve built for yourself. You’ll be surrounded by the things you love and the people who cherish you. This is the life waiting for you , a life that feels rich not just in material things but in spirit and joy.

So, dear me, be brave. Be bold. Trust the path, even when it twists and turns. Know that everything is leading you to a future where you stand strong, radiant, and fulfilled.

With love,

Your Future Self

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[motherearthlovesus]

theo nott surprises you in the prefect bathroom 🛁

ft. mattheo riddle | warning: bad italian | fluffy smut

You had the prefects' bathroom all to yourself—finally a moment of peace after a long, exhausting day. The warm water and lavender bubbles gave you the perfect escape. It had you sinking down into the bath, closing your eyes and letting the heat relax your muscles. You rubbed the water over your skin, lightly massaging your muscles wherever they begged for attention.

You were so heavily shrouded in bubbles and so utterly content that it did not occur to you to open your eyes. Even when the door creaked open. You didn’t open them despite the shuffling shoes and the clothes hitting the floor. It wasn’t until you heard the soft splash of legs climbing down into water that your eyes fluttered open.

“Didn’t mean to disturb you dormigliona sleepy” a husky voiced teased.

You could’ve picked out that voice in a hall full of people. Theodore. You were surprised and confused as to why he was here, talking to you.

You attempted to casually open your eyes, not quite sure how believable it was.

“You shouldn’t be here Theo” You gathered even more bubbles around you, struggling to avert his gaze.

“You don’t have to cover up on my account, you seemed so relaxed when I arrived”

"Theo," you snapped, mustering up the courage to look in his eyes. “Get out. Now."

"Come on, I need to bathe too” His voice was full of amusement, and his eyes raked over you shamelessly.

You huffed, annoyed at his audacity. "This bathroom is for prefects only, and last time I checked, you’re not one."

Theo started to walk across the monstrous bath.

"You always act so proper," he murmured, his voice dropping to a near whisper, "but I know you’re curious."

His fingers tapped the surface of the water, creating small waves that caused the bubbles keeping you covered to start waving.

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure as his words hung in the air. Theo’s presence was magnetic, and no matter how many times you told yourself to stay calm, the irregular rhythm of your heartbeat seemed to betray you.

“I’m not curious,” you lied, eyes narrowing as he inched closer.

You pressed your back against the edge of the tub, trying to cool yourself down. "You really should leave Theo, you’ll get in trouble."

“That’s what makes it fun, principessa”

You huffed, turning your head away to hide the way your cheeks flushed at his words. “This isn’t a game, Theo. What if someone walks in?”

“Then we’ll just have to make it worth their while,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You could see the challenge dancing in his eyes, urging you to give in. “Theo—” you started, but the protest faltered.

You told yourself that the heat must’ve gone to your head because each step he took towards you had your legs opening up just a little bit more.

His hand dipped into the water, breaking the surface tension, and your breath hitched as his fingers grazed your knee. His fingers were slowly trailing up your thigh. The higher he went the redder you felt your face get. A moan slipped out just as his thumb had just reached the top of your thigh. As you tipped your head back, bracing yourself for whatever came next, the sound of footsteps echoed through the room. In a panic you squealed and pushed Theo away causing the water around you to slosh everywhere.

“Well, what do we have here?” Mattheo teased, leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed with that trademark smirk of his. “Didn’t expect to find this in the prefects’ bathroom. Mind if I join?”

“You shouldn’t have expected anything in here; you’re not a prefect,” you shot back, trying to maintain your composure.

“Well then what is he doing here?” Mattheo nodded his head towards Theo.

“I-“ The ridiculous situation you found yourself in had you at a loss for words.

Theo narrowed his eyes, stepping protectively in front of you. “Why don’t you take your charming self elsewhere, Mattheo?”

“Relax, Theo,” he said with a playful roll of his eyes. “I’m just trying to make new friends. Right, love?” He turned to you, winking.

Theo grabbed a towel from the edge of the bath and wrapped it around himself as he stepped out of the bath to stand in front of Mattheo. Theo grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

“C’mon, man. Let’s leave the lady to her bath,” Theo said, giving Mattheo a pointed look before turning back to you “I’m sure she will find a way to finish what I started”.

--------------

reblogs are greatly appreciated

literally been so tired i wrote this in a haze maybe thats why i've been thinking about baths also why do i title my works like pornos?

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 3: favorite scent

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

When you entered the conference room, the first thing you noticed was the strong scent filling the place. It was men's cologne, and as soon as it hit your nose, it completely overwhelmed you. But it wasn't an unpleasant dizziness; on the contrary, the woody artificial scent drove you wild. You loved autumn simply because of that.

“Sorry for the delay,” you apologized to the team, dropping into the last available seat. Next to Spencer.

You quickly grabbed the file that was on the table in your spot and took a glance at your colleague, who gave you a shy smile. You were a bit lost with the specific part your colleagues were reviewing, and he, noticing your confusion, leaned in to help you. That’s when the scent you had noticed earlier intensified, and when you turned to him, you realized it was coming from his body.

You registered your colleague’s light-colored shirt with a neatly tied black tie around his neck. His golden hair slightly brushed his cheek as he helped you, and suddenly you felt nervous, without really understanding why.

Reid found the file you were working on and then placed the folder in your hands. You whispered a small thank you, and he gave you a nonchalant expression, trying to tell you it was no trouble at all.

You had a rule you always tried to stick to, and that was not dating colleagues at work. Simply because it always complicated things. Morgan flirted with you all the time, but that was something he did indiscriminately, so you never took it too personally. As for the rest of the team members, they knew how to keep things professional, plus they were old enough to be your dad. However, that day you wondered if it would be worth ignoring that rule for someone like Spencer.

He was a broken guy, no doubt, and somewhat different from the others. But he was also sweet, polite, so intelligent, and humble that sometimes you found it hard to believe that so many good qualities could fit into one person. And the guy wasn’t bad-looking, to be honest. Although he wasn’t really your type, since you’d always dated more muscular men with a different lifestyle, exceptions could always exist.

And honestly, maybe his scent had something to do with your sudden fascination with him, because every now and then you sneaked glances at him as if you wanted to admire him with other intentions, not just as your colleague.

“Are you okay?” he asked once JJ finished presenting the case. That swollen belly from pregnancy was already starting to show, and you wondered when she would take her maternity leave.

“Yes, why do you ask?” you exclaimed absentmindedly.

“Oh, it’s just that you were late. You’re never late. And besides, you were looking at me a lot during the meeting, so I thought maybe you were worried about something and wanted to tell you that if you need to talk, you can tell me.”

Oh, sweet, sweet boy.

“I’m perfectly fine, Reid,” you laughed. Everyone had already left the conference room. “It’s just that I was so tired last night that I forgot to set my alarm, and then I overslept. But it’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure it won’t happen again.”

“Maybe you should buy an alarm clock. Did you know the first alarm clock was invented by watchmaker Levi Hutchins in 1787? But it was for personal use only because he made it to wake himself up at 4 a.m. to go to work.”

“I didn’t know that. I’ll probably take your advice and get one,” you smiled at him, already used to hearing him have facts about practically every subject.

“Well, you know that if something’s bothering you��� you can tell me whenever you want, okay?”

The sweetness and kindness of this man touched you, and you stretched out to hug him, hoping it didn’t cross the line of trust, as it was well-known that the doctor wasn’t too fond of physical contact. However, he gladly received you in his arms, making sure to hold you as close as possible.

“I know. You’re a good friend, Reid,” you thanked him softly. Once you broke the hug, you didn’t completely pull away, taking a moment to lean toward his clothes and inhale deeply. “Is your cologne new?”

“Uh, yeah. A gift from Morgan. But I think it’s too strong. I don’t know if I should keep using it…”

“I completely love the smell of wood,” you blurted out. “And it suits you very well. It matches you.”

Upon receiving that compliment, the boy blushed just a little, and still with his hands on your waist, he tried to suppress a smile.

“Well, in that case… if you like it, I’ll keep wearing it.”

“No! I didn’t mean that, it was just an observation. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”

“My concern was bothering people with the scent. But now I see that’s not the case.”

A giggle escaped your lips, and then you pulled away, thinking that if you stayed in that position any longer, it could be considered inappropriate contact.

“I’ve always believed that a handsome man should wear good cologne. We women love that.”

The words left your mouth before your mind could reflect on them, and although you were embarrassed, you weren’t going to take them back. Spencer didn’t know which was worse: the fact that you had just implied he was handsome or that you were suggesting you were charmed by it.

“I’ll keep that in mind from now on,” he murmured playfully, almost bordering on a flirtatious tone.

The two of you walked out the door, chatting about a few other things so you could fully focus on analyzing the case once you got on the jet. During that time, he was thinking about two things he definitely didn’t want to forget: thanking Morgan and making sure to put on cologne every morning without fail.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐋♡𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 [Tension]

You're both not who you pretend to be.

Tags/Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Fuckgirl!Reader, Angst, Misunderstandings, Friends/Enemies to lovers, Very suggestive, adult, hurt and comfort, smut, did I mention angst? It's worth it in the end tho promise,

Length: 4k Words + Next Chapter preview

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: Idk anymore I'll write what I want.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

While Jungkook isn’t pushy, he definitely isn’t letting go either.

Any chance he can get at spending time with you, he takes- just like now, as he’s kneeled on the floor, currently taking apart some of your furniture for you since you’ve cut one of your hands by accident a day prior, Yoongi having spilled the info of that accident to Jungkook. You’ve made it very clear that you take this as an act of betrayal- but Yoongi didn’t seem to really care.

“I don’t think you can really put this up another time.” Jungkook mentions, tapping the hinge connecting to one of the doors of the small dresser with the screwdriver. “It’s been glued a couple of times already. I don’t think it’s gonna survive another try.” He tells you, and you just shrug.

“Well, then we’ll throw it away.” You just sigh, having watched him from the sidelines ever since he started working.

Jungkook suddenly moves, back of his shirt a bit damp from having worked admittedly pretty hard to take down your bigger furniture earlier. He sits in front of you, legs crossed, looking right at you- and you instantly cross your arms defensively.

You know what he wants. You won’t give it to him. “talk to me.” He says again, and it’s not really a demand, but more so him pleading. Asking.

Trying to get through.

“Nothing to say.” You shrug, and his eyes narrow at that, before he gets up and takes a hammer, offering it to you. “what?”

“Smash it.” He nods towards the small dresser, and you hesitate. “Come on.”

“I can’t.” You deny, pointing at your bandaged hand, and he nods, taking the hammer from you.

“Right. I’ll do it then.” He admits, arm lifting to gain momentum to deliver the hit to the side of the dresser, when you call out in panic, having gotten up as if to protect it-

But jungkook clearly never intended to really do it, instead just looking at you now with an unreadable expression.

“Listen.” He gets down again, setting the tool aside as he watches you look at the wooden furniture, decorated with faded stickers. “just.. at least tell me if you’re in any trouble?” He asks, and you look up at that. “do you owe someone money? Or is someone stalking you?” He worries, and you shake your head.

“No- God no, none of that.” You deny, and he sighs.

“see, that I believe.” He tells you. “your whole body language, the way you answered- that’s believable. But everything else is bullshit.” He denies you, and you get up at that, walking out of the room. “and now you’re running away- again!” He calls out defeated, getting up himself to follow you into your bathroom where you put all your skincare products into a box. “I’m trying hard to figure out what the fuck I did. Am I being too pushy?”

“No..” you mumble, putting more stuff away, avoiding interaction with him as much as you can. But much to your dismay, he’s got the audacity to take items out again. “Jungkook-“

“are you scared you’ll hurt my feelings if you shut me down?” He asks, and you roll your eyes. “stop that and talk to me-“

“as if anything could scratch your ego!” You tell him, feeling too pushed into a corner right now. “There’s nothing anyone could say that would ever really hurt a guy like you.!” You huff, not noticing the way he froze up for a good moment until a few seconds later when you’ve noticed him no longer reaching for anything.

“ouch.” He comments. “care to explain what you mean by that?” He asks, arms crossed.

“You’ve got like, everything!” You rant, folding your towels, avoiding eye contact. “you’re hot, you got the looks, great at flirting, you-..” you cut yourself off before you can ramble too much, accidentally revealing anything that could blow your cover, but it’s clear from his next words that his suspicions have been awoken.

“if I’m all of that, why not be with me?” he asks, watching you like a hawk now. “you’ve fucked Jimin, and stayed friends. So don’t come at me with that ‘Our friendship will be ruined’ bullshit.” He calls out, and you swallow.

He’s onto you.

“Thats different.” You say, avoiding the topic now, pushing past him out of the bathroom, but he doesn’t let go.

Following you around into the kitchen, giving you no chance to escape or even somehow make up new excuses in your head as he suddenly speaks again.

“Because it didn’t happen?”

You’re frozen, standing in front of the opened fridge, staring right at a bottle of water and a pack of shredded cheese as you feel your blood cool down- and it’s not from the temperature inside the device. Not even the beeping of the big device telling you to close it to save energy wakes you out of that trance, as your thoughts go wild.

How does he know?

How much does he know?

Does he even know at all or is he just bluffing?

“I knew you’d never fuck him.” He chuckles, closing the door for you, arm over your shoulder slowly retreating as he sits down at your small kitchen table, waiting for you to turn around. “and his story was always inconsistent. So was yours.” He explains how he caught the lie. “if you want to make shit up, at least agree on a Version to tell everyone.”

“so what?” You sigh, trying to keep up your act as you turn around- taken aback by the horribly soft look on his face, head leaning on his hand while his elbow rests on the table.

“Exactly. So what?” He asks you, visibly relaxing now that he’s got the confirmation he needed to know that what he’s been thinking. “But that’s not the only lie, is it?” He questions, and the way your eyes move away from his gives him an answer already. “Is that it? You lied and now you want to run away from it?” He questions, and you just let yourself go, sitting down on the floor in front of the fridge, defeated. You don’t care if you act like a child right now, it’s not like there’s any dignity left to cling to anyways.

You’re tired. You can’t keep this shit up anymore, you can’t deal with the stress of leaving even though you don’t want to, you can’t take the whole situation any longer.

“Yeah go on now. Laugh.” You mumble, hugging your knees. “close the door on your way out.”

“Now why would I do that?” He shakes his head as he sighs, moving to sit down in front of you again, on the floor, though he keeps some distance. “what made you... create this whole charade? Was it me?” he asks, visibly interested.

You shrug. You just want to vanish right now.

“I don’t.. it’s stupid.” You mumble, avoiding his gaze as you feel yourself begin to cry from the embarrassment.

“Hm yeah, kind of.” He admits. “how much of it was a lie? I mean, I have an idea, but I just.. would like for you to come clean yourself.” He shrugs, carefully tapping your knee with his finger, careful not to push you too far.

“everything.” You say. “I’ve.. the parties. And jimin. And everything else.”

“So you don't find me hot?” He teases, trying to lighten the mood a little, seeing you glare at him with watery eyes. “Hey, come on. Yeah it’s stupid, but we all did stupid shit sometimes.”

“Not as bad as me.” You deny. “I literally lied.. just to get your attention.” You say quietly, and he tries hard not to grin.

“Which is kind of cute, I have to admit..” He teases, but you don’t seem up for the joke. “But why did you think you had to make up that stuff?”

“Because.. You’re you. And I’m just.. an awkward virgin who acts a lot more confident than she is.” You say.

Jungkook falls quiet at that. While he knew to some extend that a lot of your stories were lies- mostly because the finer details didn’t add up or made any sense- he didn’t know how far exactly it went, so this info definitely changes some things.

“I’m sorry you.. fell for a fraud.” You mumble, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I fell for a fraud-“ he denies, “-because I never fell for any of that anyways.” He shakes his head. “I fell for the way you basically recite your dreams to me whenever something interesting happened in them. How you helped me find a good present for my mom’s birthday when I almost forgot it, even though you don’t even know her. Your laugh, your sense of humor, fuck, the way you greet me with a hug even when you’re pissed at me.” He sighs. “What made you think that sex was all I cared about?” He complains, and you feel even worse now.

“I just.. we don’t have anything in common.” You sniffle. “nothing. And I wanted you to like me so bad..” you confess, making him shake his head.

“we love Disney movies.” He responds. “we both love banana milk. We collect stickers. We like the same scents. We’re both dog people.” He gives as examples, before he runs a hand over his face. “so that’s it? That’s the big thing?” He asks, and you nod. “I mean.. yeah. This isn’t.. I hope you can understand me too here. I’m going to be a bit suspicious of stuff in the future until I know you’re not making stuff up again.” He says, and you look at him at that. “but that’s no reason to run away from me.”

“it is.” You deny. “I don’t.. I have a horrible crush on you.” You admit freely now, hiding your face in your knees. “I really like you.” You confess, and he moves closer at that, hands on the sides of your head gently forcing you to look at him.

“and that’s a bad thing?” He wonders, wiping your cheeks. “show me the real you. I’d love to fall for that instead.” He offers.

“There’s nothing to fall for.” You deny.

“Well, I’ll decide that for myself.”

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

“Did you ever have your first kiss?” Jungkook asks randomly, hands shaping the pizza dough into the- somewhat- appropriate shape. Your a little hypnotized by the way his hands move, fingers digging into the soft dough to move it around, turn the outside corner in for the crust to later rise, having made it his mission to somehow figure out how to put cheese in the crust like your favorite delivery service. Suddenly though, one of the hands move, inked fingers snapping in front of your face. “Hey, I asked something.” He laughs, making you look at him.

“I- Oh, yeah.” You nod, before you shake your head. “what was the question?” You correct yourself, and he laughs more at that, shaking his head.

“I asked you if you’ve ever kissed anyone.” He repeats himself, moving to put the sauce on the bare dough now.

“I uh.. yeah. But it’s, I don’t know. Awkward.” You shrug. “not really my thing.” You admit, and he nods.

“Not really your thing, or, just had weird experiences?” He wonders, and you think for a bit.

Most of the time, you’ve been kissed, but you yourself have never kissed anyone. It was ever really.. asked if you wanted to be kissed- the moment had just been chosen by your partners back then, and it had put pressure on you to just go with it as to not make it awkward.

“I mean.. I’ve never made out or anything.” You admit. “and I never kissed anyone. I always got kissed.” You say.

“so you can ask for it at least, that’s good.” He nods to himself, before he notices you being quiet. “you.. did ask for it, right?” He questions with an oddly serious tone, and you shrug.

“the timing was always right I guess.” You answer. “I never asked, no. It just.. you know, when you’re being driven back home from a date, that’s when you kiss.” You tell him, and Jungkook shakes his head.

“No, hold on there, wait.” He denies. “They asked you though, right?” He questions, but you shake your head.

“Like I said when you-“ you start, but he shakes his head, hands on your shoulders now.

“No, none of that.” He presses. “You’re not obligated to do anything just because someone took you out. You’ll never be obligated to do me a favour just because I take you out. Got it?” He asks, and you nod, a bit taken aback by how serious he is. “if you don’t want something, you’ll have to say it. Please, promise me that.”

You nod. “I promise.” You say, and he sighs, relieved, before he brushes off the faint marks of flour on your skin.

“I’m sorry, it’s just..” he shakes his head as he resumes his task of preparing food for you both. “..nothing. Anyways- never kissed then, got it.” He nods to himself. “so we’re basically starting from scratch.”

“we’re?” You ask, unsure as he nods.

“We’re. I know of your secret, I know you like me, I like you too- so, what’s speaking against it?” He wonders, before he looks at you. “Do you want to be with me?” He asks, and you think for a second, before you nod.

“I’m just-” You start, but he just laughs.

“Not what I thought you were, I know. That’s why I’m saying we’re starting from scratch- I'm basically going to get to know you for real this time.” He tells you, putting the toppings onto the pizza that you both agreed on earlier.

He’s taking this so lightly. Like it’s nothing.

“I’ll still leave.” You remind him however, but again, he only nods to himself, sprinkling the shredded cheese onto the pizza he’s preparing. “And you’ll.. If we’re like.. Together, you can’t hook up with anyone else anymore.” You say, and he sighs, moving the food into the oven.

“I don’t know when that thought grew in your head, but let me get something straight.” He starts, setting up the right temperature and time before he braces himself against the kitchen counter you sit on, face turned towards you with a serious expression. “Yes, I enjoy sex. Yes, I have had it a lot.” He explains. “No, it’s not everything I always think about. Neither is it something that I absolutely need every day of the week.” Jungkook tells you, and you feel a bit guilty with the way he phrases it. “What made you think that’s all I’d want from you?” He wonders.

“Nothing, just..” You shrug, looking down at your knees. “I guess it was the easy way.”

“Let’s just start over then. Entirely.” He proposes. “I’ll get to know you- and you’ll get to know me. Because its pretty obvious you don’t know me either.” Jungkook says, and you nod, a bit ashamed.

“Sorry.” You apologize, but he instead puts a handful of shredded cheese in his mouth, before he offers it to you-

Laughing when you stuff your cheeks with it as well, finally breaking free.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

“what’s wrong, hm?” Jungkook says, entering your apartment after you’d texted him that you didn’t feel good.

He first thought it might be sickness- but from your tearful eyes and the blanket around your shoulders, he now realizes that you’re not feeling mentally good. And he’s happy that you reached out for him, that you finally jumped over your shadow and sought him out, proving that you seemed to be truthful in trying to be more honest with him.

“I don’t want to leave.” You say, crying again as you sit down on your living room couch, the only thing still left untouched.

“Oh baby..” jungkook laughs a little to himself, sitting down next to you to run a comforting hand over your back. “didn’t you say that you could just work for the office here?” He asks, and you nod, though shrug too.

“they’ll be mad when I say.. that I wanna switch back again..” you mumble, hiccuping still here and there. It breaks his heart a little to see you this upset- but he also knows that you dug yourself into this mess all by yourself. This is just the consequences of your own actions.

“Well, that’s going to just be the punishment you’ll have to take.” Jungkook tells you, and while his tone is teasing, his gaze is still kind and comforting. “I’ll have your back too- you can stay at my place until you found something else, since you’re already supposed to be out of this apartment by next week.” He reminds you, and you sigh.

“But I’ll impose, don’t tell me I won’t.” You argue looking at your feet. “I’ll just have to go through with it-“.

“I wouldnt be offering my place if i wasnt comfortable with the idea of you around all the time.” He playfully denies. “maybe try and not run around in your underwear and I’ll keep my hands to myself too as a bonus.” He flirts, and you can’t help but giggle a bit at that.

“Maybe I don’t want you keeping them to yourself?” You ask, making him grin a little.

“Careful there. Don’t start something you can’t finish.” He teases, before he moves into a more comfortable position, pulling you closer. “Well figure this all out. You’re not alone, alright?” He tells you, and you nod.

“Jungkook?” You wonder randomly after a good moment of just silence, and he hums as a reply before you talk again. “how do you ask for.. a kiss? Or like.. I don’t know. Forget it.” You mumble more or less to yourself making him chuckle.

“No can do. Now you’ve got my attention.” He teases a little, hands on your arms running up and down in reassurance. “You want a kiss right now?” He wonders, and you shrug.

“I’ve never.. like, made out with anyone.” You admit.

“And you want to do that with me?” He wonders, making you nod- before you shake your head.

“Yes? I don’t know.” You admit. “I don’t know what it’s like, so I don’t know if I like it. What if I don’t?” You worry, and he sighs.

“Then you don’t. Simple as that.” He shrugs. “What if you just gave me a kiss? See how that feels?” He offers as an option, and you bite at your lips for a second, before you move around to face him, eyes moving from his lips to his eyes for a moment.

“right now?” You wonder, and he smiles.

“If you want to.” He answers, still relaxed as ever. It reassures you, the fact that he’s so at ease- you don’t want to fuck this up, and you also don’t want to seem dumber than you actually are. His experience is a little intimidating to you- what if he thinks you’re lame? You most likely are. Anything you both will do will be boring to him, you realize. “hey- talk to me.” He snaps you out of your thoughts, and you pull your attention back to the situation at hand. “what’s worrying you?” He wonders.

“I want to impress you I guess.” You huff impatiently. “I want you to be like, ‘wow’ at something I do but I don’t have any idea what to do to like, get that reaction from you.” You explain, making his eyes soften.

“What makes you think that you need to impress me?” He wonders, and you look down at his chest.

“I don’t.. Taehyung once said that.. you know, you get bored easily..” you mumble, and Jungkook’s eyes widen for a second, before he clocks his tongue.

“you know, I envy you a little bit because of that.” He tells you, and that answer catches you off guard. “once you.. have a lot of sex, and have kissed a lot of people, it all loses its spark, you know?” He explains almost melancholic. “it’s like a book. You can only read it for the first time once- after that, you’re always prepared for what’s to come. It’s no longer new. Nothing exciting. Only.. maybe comforting at best.” He shrugs. “I wish I could have those early experiences back. That spark.” He admits. “i don’t want or need to be impressed. Not like this, at least.” He offers you. “I just.. want something permanent. Something real.”

“Why.. havent you been in a relationship before then?” You wonder. “if you want something permanent.”

“because no one wants that with someone like me.” He explains to you. “I’m exciting. I’m wild, and adventure. But I’m nothing someone wants to stay with.” He shrugs.

You frown at that. What?

Suddenly, a sentence jimin said years ago slaps you right in the face, full force.

“He falls in love easily, with everything around him. I wish the world around him would do the same for once.”

“Jungkook?” You ask, and he nods, looking at you. “can I kiss you?” You wonder, and he nods.

“Sure.” He teases, and you feel like it’s more of a defensive mechanism at this point. “impress me.” He jokes.

But he quickly seems caught completely off guard when your hands hold his face, before you put your lips on his. He’s truly surprised in that moment- because this is, indeed, new. He’s never been kissed like this before- with so much gentle care and attention, with such warmth that he feels like he’s actually melting right into your hands. It’s one kiss, another, and a third- and his eyes are suddenly only half-open, all words lost as he stares you down. You’re not sure if that was something he liked- but the moment his own hand finds your cheek as well makes you wonder if you really did it right.

“can I kiss you?” He asks quietly, almost a whisper, and you’ve never heard him so fragile before. But you nod- and the moment you do, his lips are on yours- a lot more confident in himself, but slow, soft. He’s taking the lead, easily so- but it’s not overbearing, instead simply an act of adoration. “You know-“ he laughs, out of breath even though this wasn’t ‘steamy’ or heated at all. “-I was joking when I asked you to impress me.”

“You dont have to lie.” You giggle, but he shakes his head, pecking your lips once, twice, again just for good measure.

“I’m not.” He denies. “this is the first time I’ve been kissed like that.”

“like what?” You wonder, unable to look away from that unique expression he’s got on his face.

“like someone's in love with me.”

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW:

“I’m sorry, but I won’t just let myself be some body you can practice on so you can know how to drive and move on to someone that interests you more.” He barks out, agitated, and you’re completely caught off guard, staring him down in disbelief. “I won’t let myself be used like that..” again, he wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to expose this like that. He doesn’t feel safe, he feels like a cornered animal, and the worst part is that he knows he doesn’t even need to say it, because you know what he’s hinting at.

“I’m sorry.” You say, and again, there it is; this stinging pain in his chest at your gentle tone, trying to soothe his wounds with salt it seems like.

“Why are you sorry?” He wants to know, tone dangerously low as he expects you to reveal your intentions to him, at last. “ What are you sorry for?” He wants to know, and you just shake your head.

“I’m sorry I never really looked at you properly.” You admit, and he frowns again, once more left without any control over the situation. “I’m sorry I never noticed you were hurting.” You tell him, and he swallows hard, turning away from you. “I’m sorry I can’t help you.” You say, defeated, and he slaps his kitchen counter in agony, turned away from you.

“Stop apologizing.!” He gets out between clenched teeth, agitated over the fact that he’s got no grasp of the situation.

“I don’t know what else to do.” You say, the soft whine in your tone making it clear that you’re hurting just as much as he is. “I’m.. I’ll stay with jimin-“ you offer, thinking he might want space- but he just groans out, and holds his head, marbled kitchen counter doing nothing to cool his temperature.

“I don’t want you to leave-!” He almost growls, before he braces himself against the counter top, sighing loudly. “fuck.. That’s the last thing I want, ’m just- I’m the one who should say sorry.” He says. “I just.. God I’m so fucked up..” he laughs bitterly, and you do whatever you feel like might help him- leaning against his back, arms wrapped around him. And for a moment, as he lets himself be held for just a moment, you can feel him shake a little under the weight of his own emotions finally seeping through the cracks-

And you’re determined to put his pieces back together, however long it’ll take you.

[sayusims]

Maomao mini analysis

Maomao in The Apothecary Diaries is such a sad character, but she doesn't act like it because, in her world, it's kind of normalized. First, her mom, an esteemed courtesan, essentially hated her because she gave birth to her. Her biological dad is gone and not in her life (we know it wasn’t by choice, but this is from her perspective). She was raised in a brothel, and while she had people there who loved her, it's still a brothel. Even after she was adopted, she still had to take precautions to make sure she wasn’t going to be kidnapped or that nothing else would happen to her because of men.

After all of this, when she was still a teenager, she was kidnapped by a couple of guys and sold to the Emperor’s palace. These events are really traumatic, but at the same time, she still has the same indifference—as if she doesn’t care that much. She wants to stay in her own lane, and with her tactical genius (stemming from both her parents), this is relatively easy to do. But I wanted to know more, and since I’m taking AP World History in school, it wasn’t really that hard to understand why.

The Apothecary Diaries takes place during the Ming-Qing dynasty (possibly Song), which is evident because of the harem system, the clothing style, and the medicine she uses. During this time, China had been taken back from the Mongols, and the government, in an effort to get rid of their traditions, reinstated many old systems like the civil service exam, improved education, and reestablished the bureaucracy. The education aspect is evident in the series because of the plans to better educate women on basic skills like reading.

The part worth highlighting, though, is that China (and basically everywhere the Mongols ruled) was safer under their rule. So when everything became scattered again, safety greatly decreased, making things like kidnappings more common. This is probably why Maomao wasn’t distraught about being kidnapped. Still, the rest of what happened before this time is traumatic enough.

The main reason I give for this is that she’s used to it—not in a Stockholm syndrome way, but in an “oh, this happens sometimes” way. Being raised in the brothels, she likely saw the worst parts of humanity in the customers and the courtesans. Being exposed to this regularly probably caused her to naturally believe that humans do bad things—but not in an overly pessimistic way, since she still had good people taking care of her. Along with this, she is just practical in everything she does. She weighs the pros and cons of her actions before she acts. She discloses information that is important to wrap up a case so she doesn’t have more drama to deal with (unlike a lot of characters, which is why I love her).

While she still has a curious personality when it comes to mysteries, at this point in season 2, she has gained the trust of literally everyone important, making her unlikely to get into trouble. (This is still China in the 11th-12th century, so she still has to be careful, but compared to before, she has a lot more freedom.)

While her personality may look plain at first, you quickly grow to love her, especially her passion for medicines and poisons. The shift in her demeanor when poisons come into play is so fun to watch. This shows that, at the end of the day, she is still a teenager. She is mature but childlike at the same time when it comes to things she’s interested in. Women in this time were supposed to be, like in almost every other time in history, subordinate to men. Maomao, being as smart as she is, knows and acknowledges this but does not let it stop her. She goes against the status quo by being a completely independent woman who doesn’t need a man.

The best part of this is that she does it without really thinking about it. Her goal is not to go against the status quo or anything like that but simply to pursue her interests in life.

Overall, I just really love Maomao and the series, and it better keep getting new seasons until it’s done, or else I’m going to tweak out. I also wrote this while procrastinating on my AP World homework to “review” for the AP exam (which is like four months away), but I hope you guys like it.

[wriokitty]

main masterlist ; please read all appropriate warnings on fics!

𝜗𝜚 — ALHAITHAM.

LONG FICS:

nsfw : the delicate line between friends and lovers — 14.0k words — in which the akademiya’s scribe and the bimarstan’s head nurse develop some serious feelings for each other in between hook ups. evidently, neither are very good at communicating these feelings, though

nsfw : for you, i’d do it all again — 6.2k words — the story of how you replace the acting grand sage as the permanent one. alternatively: three times alhaitham wanted to say i love you and one time he finally does

DRABBLES:

sfw : the theory of soulmates

sfw : the acting grand sage and the teacher

sfw : last tome

𝜗𝜚 — AYATO.

LONG FICS:

nsfw : dear wife, dear husband — 3.1k words — your husband is doting, regardless of whether your marriage is one of duty or of love. but unbeknownst to you, ayato craves you more than you initially believed him to

DRABBLES:

sfw : how to tame a fox

sfw : the hydro archon’s justice

sfw : post partum

nsfw : two sides of the same coin

nsfw : me and my (darling) husband

nsfw : you more than me

nsfw : in my past life (you were mine too)

nsfw : rumors

nsfw : dutiful, devoted

nsfw : jealousy, jealousy

𝜗𝜚 — CHILDE (TARTAGLIA).

DRABBLES:

sfw : pretty lady

𝜗𝜚 — DILUC.

DRABBLES:

sfw : hero’s compensation

sfw : the anemo archon’s favor

𝜗𝜚 — IL CAPITANO.

DRABBLES:

sfw : untitled no. 1

𝜗𝜚 — KINICH.

LONG FICS:

nsfw : a little death — 4.4k words — sometimes, he comes back to you with a beating heart. other times, his body is cold and limp until he reemerges from the flames. you never get used to kinich falling during the pilgrimage, but you’re certainly used to the feeling of his body

DRABBLES:

sfw : asking price

sfw : post-commission

nsfw : you say i’m strong (but you make me feel weak)

𝜗𝜚 — NEUVILLETTE.

DRABBLES:

sfw : the fontainian weather forecast

sfw : untitled no. 1

𝜗𝜚 — WRIOTHESLEY.

LONG FICS:

nsfw : it always ends with i love you — 20.3k words — in which you, a small floral shop owner, meet the duke of meropide by a chance encounter—and then you meet a bunch more too…but not so much by chance anymore

nsfw : surprise compensation — 3.2k words — wriothesley is a hard worker. sometimes, when days are particularly long and rough, you have a surprise or two that makes things worth the troubles

nsfw : lumidouce season — 3.5k words — it was supposed to just be a picnic. if there’s still some form of divine power that’s presiding over fontaine, it must really have it out for wriothesley. it was not just a picnic

nsfw : you want to change my mind (and maybe you already have) — 8.7k words — november 23rd comes and goes just like every year. wriothesley looks at you in his bed, curled under his sheets—pretty. soft. kind. a gateway to a cushy sort of life he never envisioned for himself. this birthday, he finally realizes that neuvillette sending you down for weekly compliance checks at the fortress was the first time celestia had ever favored him

DRABBLES:

sfw : redemption for the suffering

sfw : loving is easy (it didn’t use to be)

sfw : we’ll have a ball

sfw : help me forget (until my only memories are you)

sfw : flu season (aka wrio’s nightmare)

sfw : untitled no. 1

sfw : untitled no. 2

sfw : untitled no. 3

sfw : second chances

sfw : boyfriend zoomies

sfw : greens

nsfw : hidden corners

𝜗𝜚 — MULTIPLE.

DRABBLES:

sfw : we’re just friends, but… — ft. wriothesley, neuvillette, alhaitham, and kamisato ayato — the moment they realize the word friend may not be enough of a term to describe your relationship

sfw : i wanna ruin our friendship! — ft. wriothesley, neuvillette, alhaitham, and kamisato ayato — the moment they finally confess that being friends is not enough (pt 2 of “we’re just friends but…”)

sfw : you should’ve seen the other guy! — ft. childe, wriothesley, alhaitham, and cyno — your boyfriend and his tendencies to get into fights. it’s a good thing he has you to patch him up

PROPERTY OF EUTHYMIYA — all rights reserved. do not redistribute, recommend or translate to any other platforms

[istoleyoursphenoidbone]

In Search of Kindred Spirits - Chapter 2

This has been fun to write so far, this chapter will have the warning for character death though, but it's canon character death so take it with a grain of salt. Hope you enjoy and as always feedback is welcome!

Prev | Next

June 2nd, 200X

Dear Jason,

Gotham sounds just as crazy as ever. I can’t believe you managed to talk yourself out of getting caught sneaking into a fancy restaurant. Do you always think so fast on your feet? Or is this just another one of your weird Gotham superpowers? Either way, you’ve got me beat. Last week, I tripped over my own shoelaces in front of my whole science class. Not my proudest moment.

Things are… weird here. Ever since we got back from Gotham, my parents have been even more obsessed with ghosts. The ghost portal they’ve been working on in the lab almost turned on the other day. It kind of exploded instead. Pretty sure I’m still picking bits of ectoplasm out of my hair. But hey, at least my parents didn’t notice when I accidentally melted their toaster while trying to make waffles. Long story.

Write back soon, okay? And don’t get into too much trouble. (I know, I know—that’s basically asking Gotham not to rain.)

Your sidekick,

Danny

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Jason chuckled as he folded up Danny’s letter, slipping it back into the shoebox under his bed. The kid had a way of brightening up even the darkest days. No matter how bad things got in Gotham—or how heavy Bruce’s expectations felt—Jason always knew he could count on Danny’s letters to pull him back from the edge.

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July 15th, 200X

Hey Danny,

Tripping over your shoelaces in class? Rookie move. Next time, at least do it somewhere less embarrassing. Like, I dunno, a haunted house or something. Bonus points if it involves ghosts, since you’ve got your mad scientist parents to back you up.

Things here are… well, it’s Gotham. You know how it is. Same old, same old. There was a fire at one of the warehouses by the docks last week. I didn’t see what happened, but there were rumors it was tied to some gang fight. Sometimes it feels like this city’s falling apart, y’know? Anyway, enough depressing stuff.

Bruce—uh, my new guardian—keeps dragging me to these fancy events. You’d laugh if you saw me in a suit. Don’t even ask about the food. It’s all weird, tiny stuff, like caviar and quail eggs. I snuck a slice of pizza in my jacket once, and Bruce nearly had a heart attack when I pulled it out at the dinner table. Worth it.

Stay outta trouble, Sidekick. (But if you do get into trouble, at least make it a good story.)

Your favorite hero,

Jason

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The months passed, but their bond remained as strong as ever. Each letter carried snapshots of their lives, written in messy handwriting, and peppered with inside jokes and ghost puns. Jason didn’t tell Danny he was Robin, but he dropped subtle hints about his nighttime escapades: vague mentions of “training” and “helping someone out.” Danny, in turn, never told Jason about the accident that had turned him into half a ghost.

But the things they couldn’t say didn’t matter. The letters, though slow and sporadic sometimes, were enough.

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October 10th, 200X

Dear Jason,

Okay, I laughed so hard at the pizza story that I snorted milk out of my nose. Thanks for that.

Things here have been… kinda crazy. My parents finally got the ghost portal to turn on (no explosions this time), but it’s still not working right. I swear, one of these days they’re going to accidentally summon some giant ghost monster and blame me for it.

School’s been weird too. There’s this kid, Dash, who keeps trying to pick fights with me. You’d totally kick his butt if you were here. Don’t worry, though—I’m handling it. Well… mostly.

Anyway, I gotta go before Mom and Dad notice I’m writing this instead of “helping” in the lab. They just started yelling about “ectoplasmic anomalies,” which probably means something’s about to explode. Again.

Write back soon, okay? I miss you.

Your sidekick,

Danny

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December 3rd, 200X

Dear Danny,

This Dash kid sounds like a loser. Tell him that if he messes with you again, he’s gonna have to deal with me. Not that he’d stand a chance, but still. You’ve got this, Sidekick.

Things are… well, you know how I said Gotham’s a mess? That hasn’t changed. Bruce has been working late a lot, and I’ve been “helping out” more. (Don’t ask—it’s boring, trust me.) But it’s not all bad. I got to sneak out for a while last week and saw this kid giving out sandwiches to homeless folks in the Narrows. It made me think of you. He kinda reminded me of the way you’re always trying to help people, even when it’s risky.

Anyway, enough of the sappy stuff. Have your parents blown anything up lately? And are they still wearing those crazy jumpsuits? You’ve gotta get me a picture someday. I need to see this for myself.

Stay outta trouble, Danny. And remember, you’re tougher than you think.

Your hero,

Jason

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February 14th, 200X

Dear Jason,

First of all, I’ve gotta see this pizza stunt you keep mentioning. Next time, record it or something, okay?

Second, yeah, my parents are still walking around in those ridiculous jumpsuits. It’s like they’re allergic to normal clothes. I’ll try to sneak a photo for you, but if they catch me, it’s your fault.

Things have been… weird here. Again. There’s this creepy ghost lady who keeps showing up in the middle of the night. She keeps calling me “child of both worlds,” whatever that means. I think she’s just trying to mess with me, but it’s still super freaky. Anyway, I’ll figure it out. I always do, right? Oh and I sent some drawings with the letter, have fun.

Write back soon. And try not to fall off any rooftops or whatever it is you do in Gotham.

Your sidekick,

Danny

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Jason stared at the crumpled piece of paper in his hands. Danny had scrawled a diagram of something called a “ghost thermos” on the bottom half of his latest letter, complete with doodles of stick figures fighting over what appeared to be glowing green blobs.

"Figures," Jason muttered, smirking. Danny hadn’t changed much, even after all these years. His friend’s goofiness was one of the few constants in Jason’s life, a lifeline that kept him grounded when Gotham’s darkness threatened to pull him under.

But some things had changed. Jason could feel it.

Danny’s letters were different lately. There were hints—small, almost imperceptible cracks in the cheerful façade Danny always wore. Jason knew the signs. He’d seen them in the mirror.

The truth was, Danny had changed. His accident had transformed him into something he didn’t fully understand. Being half-ghost came with powers he was still learning to control and a sense of responsibility that weighed heavier every day.

It wasn’t that Danny didn’t trust Jason—he just didn’t know how to explain it. How do you tell your best friend that you’re half-dead?

When Jason wrote about his “training,” Danny sensed that he, too, was keeping secrets. But he didn’t press. They were still kids, after all. Everyone had their demons.

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The stars seemed to align, however, when Jason’s "training" brought him to a city near Amity Park. For the first time in years, they had a chance to meet face-to-face.

Danny sprinted toward the abandoned park they’d chosen as a meeting spot, his breath visible in the cold winter air. He spotted Jason leaning against a rusty jungle gym, a cocky grin on his face.

“Hey, Sidekick,” Jason called.

Danny laughed, tackling Jason in a hug. “Takes one to know one.”

They pulled back, grinning at each other. Jason had grown taller, his frame more solid. But his eyes carried something darker, a sharpness Danny didn’t remember.

“You’ve gotten taller,” Danny said, feigning jealousy.

“And you’re still short,” Jason shot back. “Some things never change.”

They fell into an easy rhythm, catching up like no time had passed. Jason didn’t miss how Danny seemed… different. He moved like he was always on edge, like he was ready to disappear at any moment.

Danny noticed things about Jason, too—the reckless way he joked, like he didn’t care if he got hurt. There was a bitterness in his voice sometimes, a chip on his shoulder that hadn’t been there before.

Neither of them brought it up. They were too happy to see each other to ruin it with questions.

As they sat on a bench, watching the city lights in the distance, Danny nudged Jason’s shoulder. “You ever think about… y’know, what’s next? Like, after all this training stuff?”

Jason tilted his head. “I don’t think I’ve gotten that far. Gotham doesn’t exactly let you plan for the future.”

Danny frowned. “That’s not fair.”

Jason shrugged. “Fair’s got nothing to do with it.”

Danny bit his lip, hesitating. “Well, if you ever want to get out of Gotham… come visit me in Amity Park. My parents will probably try to feed you ectoplasm, but at least it’s quieter there.”

Jason laughed, the sound softer than Danny expected. “I’ll think about it, Sidekick.”

The night ended too soon. Jason vanished into the shadows, leaving Danny with a nagging sense of unease. Something wasn’t right, but he didn’t know what. At least he could look forward to Jason's next letter.

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Except, Jason’s next letter never came.

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Two months later, Danny sat in his room, staring at the envelope in his hands. The handwriting wasn’t Jason’s.

Inside was a letter from Alfred.

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May 6th, 200X

Dear Mr. Fenton,

It is with great sorrow that I must inform you of Master Jason’s passing. He spoke of you often, and I believe he would have wanted you to know how much your friendship meant to him. Jason was a remarkable young man—brave, compassionate, and fiercely loyal. He will be missed dearly.

Yours sincerely,

Alfred Pennyworth

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Danny’s vision blurred as he read the letter again and again, the words refusing to sink in. Jason was gone.

How could someone like Jason—so alive, so stubborn—be gone?

Grief twisted into determination. Danny clenched his fists, his eyes burning with unshed tears.

Jason wasn’t just “gone.” He couldn’t be. Not entirely.

If there was even a chance Jason’s soul was out there, Danny would find him. No matter how long it took, no matter where he had to go—he would bring Jason back. The portal swirls to life with it's bright green before a shout of 'going ghost' echoed through the basement. The ghost zone awaits.

[edenmemes]

asoiaf: a dance with dragons starters

❝ i fear i make you uneasy. ❞ ❝ knowledge is a weapon. arm yourself well before you ride forth to battle. ❞ ❝ go on. show your steel. give me cause to do the same. ❞ ❝ fear is what keeps a man alive in this world of treachery and deceit. ❞ ❝ these woods are not as empty as you think. ❞ ❝ promise me that you will never turn against me. i could not bear that. promise me. ❞ ❝ the only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid. ❞ ❝ if i must die, i will die with an axe in my hand and a curse upon my lips. ❞ ❝ tales are told of you. i hear them everywhere. people fear you. ❞ ❝ go too far down that road,  and  mistrust  can  poison  you,  make you sour and fearful. ❞ ❝ you mistake me. that was a command, not an offer. ❞ ❝ sorcery is a sword without a hilt. there is no safe way to grasp it. ❞ ❝ prophecy is like a half-trained mule. it looks like it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head. ❞ ❝ it is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. ❞ ❝ i rose too high, loved too hard, dared too much. i tried to grasp a star, overreached, and fell. ❞ ❝ they think that this will break my pride, that it will make an end to me, but they are wrong. ❞ ❝ tell me of the things that make you happy, the things that make you giggle, all your sweetest memories. remind me that there is still good in the world. ❞ ❝ one war ends, another begins. there is always someone fighting someone somewhere. ❞ ❝ this is what i was made for. the dance, the sweet steel song, a sword in my hand and a foe before me. ❞ ❝ my enemies have told you i am dead. those tales are false, as you can see. ❞ ❝ not all that a man does is done for gain. ❞ ❝ i know that you believe me weak, frightened, feeble. ❞ ❝ it takes a man to rule. kill the boy, and let the man be born. ❞ ❝ do you mean to spend your whole life running away? ❞ ❝ kingdoms are at hazard here. our lives, our names, our honour. this is no game we’re playing for your amusement. ❞ ❝ however gentle the words, there are always darker motives underneath. i do not trust you. ❞ ❝ a good honest face, but you should smile more. ❞ ❝ my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. ❞ ❝ you are so radiant today i fear to look on you. ❞ ❝ prove yourself more trouble than you are worth, and you can go your own way. ❞ ❝ you need not look so pale, i was only playing with you. ❞ ❝ this is not the day i die, i promise you. ❞ ❝ i wanted you from the first time i saw you. ❞ ❝ was i so blind, or  did  i  close  my  eyes  willingly, so i would not see the price of power? ❞ ❝ men should not go wandering in this place. ❞ ❝ hold your tongue and do as you are told, or you will soon wish you had. ❞ ❝ you won’t try. you will obey. ❞ ❝ kneel and live. or go and die. it’s your choice to make. ❞ ❝ are you so blind, or is it that you do not wish to see? ❞ ❝ that is not a place you want to go to. ❞ ❝ i will not go back without doing what i came for, no matter how hopeless it may seem. ❞ ❝ the fairest woman in this world...i am drunk with the sight of you. ❞ ❝ secrets are worth more than silver and sapphires. ❞ ❝ we have come too far to turn back now. ❞ ❝ what have i done to make you hate me so? ❞ ❝ you meet so few men who value friendship over gold these days. ❞ ❝ it is true, i am a bolder man than most. ❞ ❝ i cannot go home. but i dare not stay here much longer. ❞ ❝ foes and false friends are all around me. ❞ ❝ the fewer folk who will know of this, the better. ❞ ❝ all you have i gave you. remember that. ❞ ❝ will you make me say it twice? go and do as i commanded you. ❞ ❝ love is madness, and lust is poison. ❞ ❝ i feel safe when i’m with you. ❞ ❝ have you no smile for me? am i as fearful as all that? ❞ ❝ why did i ever allow myself to be talked into this farce? ❞ ❝ don’t think i don’t see what you’re doing. ❞ ❝ i will tell you nothing. do me the same favor. ❞ ❝ if i look back i am lost. ❞ ❝ a crown should not sit easy on the head. ❞ ❝ we must show a little trust, you and i. ❞ ❝ trust only your companions, and do your best to avoid attracting notice. ❞ ❝ you’re not going to try to kill me again, i hope. ❞ ❝ if you will forgive me for saying so, you look...weary. are you sleeping? ❞ ❝ your clothes are stained with blood. take them off. ❞ ❝ every fool loves to hear that he’s important. ❞ ❝ my father used to tell me that a man must know his enemies. ❞ ❝ you are a harmless creature, to be sure. as innocent as a lamb. ❞ ❝ till then, let us drink and dream. ❞ ❝ you will be tempted to betray me. to run or fight or join our foes. i’ll not hear you deny it. ❞ ❝ soon enough you may have grave need of me. do not refuse my friendship. ❞ ❝ it is best that no man knows that you are here. ❞ ❝ i kill kings, haven’t you heard? ❞ ❝ should any ill befall you, this world would lose its savor. ❞ ❝ some will look at you and see only another doomed pretender. ❞ ❝ i think life is a jape. yours, mine, everyone’s. ❞ ❝ i will forgive those words...once. but never presume to threaten me again. ❞ ❝ your father would be so proud if he could see you. ❞ ❝ just once you might try to give me an answer that would please me. ❞ ❝ they love me well. none would betray me. ❞ ❝ i have sins enough to answer for; i’ll have no part of this one. ❞ ❝ i mean you no harm, you know. ❞ ❝ i do not trust you, but i need you. ❞ ❝ we’ll both sleep, and dream of sweeter days. close your eyes. ❞ ❝ since you ask so nicely, how can i deny you? ❞ ❝ no wine is half so intoxicating as your beauty. ❞ ❝ why should i beg for what is owed me? ❞ ❝ a lord may love the men he commands, but he cannot be a friend to them. ❞ ❝ let them try and trouble us, we’ll show them what we’re made of. ❞ ❝ a leader should be feared, by friend and foe alike. if men think me cruel, so much the better. ❞ ❝ the enemy of my friend is my enemy. ❞ ❝ a book can be as dangerous as a sword in the right hands. ❞ ❝ i am an old man, grown weary of this world and its treacheries. ❞ ❝ these are desperate days, and like to grow more desperate. ❞ ❝ we need to find shelter before nightfall. ❞ ❝ there are footsteps behind us. we are being followed. ❞ ❝ this is no common fog. it stinks of sorcery. ❞ ❝ i am glad you came to me. it is good to see you again, my friend. ❞ ❝ the man who does nothing also takes a risk. ❞ ❝ the women are the strong ones. ❞ ❝ afraid, are you? i would be if i were you. ❞ ❝ tell me a tale. some tale of valor with a happy ending. ❞ ❝ i’ll have a cup of wine as well. to clear my head. ❞ ❝ we may lose our heads, it’s true...but what if we prevail? ❞ ❝ keep your swords sharp. we’ll have us a real fight soon. ❞ ❝ this is going to end badly. ❞ ❝ what are you doing here? how did you get past my guards? ❞ ❝ it is so hard. to be strong. i don’t always know what i should do. ❞ ❝ let us instead speak of love, of dreams and desire. ❞ ❝ you wound me, wandering off like this. have you grown tired of my hospitality so soon? ❞ ❝ with this sword i defend my subjects and destroy those who menace them. ❞ ❝ it is too late for such misgivings. you made your choice. ❞ ❝ in times as confused as these, even men of honor must wonder where their duty lies. ❞ ❝ why? what did i ever do to you? ❞ ❝ we must be certain that we do not choose the losing side. ❞ ❝ dream sweet dreams. there are no monsters here. ❞ ❝ i know who you are. i know what you are. ❞ ❝ a little honest loathing might be refreshing, like a tart wine after too much sweet. ❞ ❝ a bloody sword is a beautiful thing. ❞ ❝ a ruler belongs to their people, not to themself. ❞ ❝ if the ones i killed come haunt me, i will kill them all again. ❞ ❝ you shine so brightly, you will blind every man who dares look upon you. ❞ ❝ a fair bargain leaves both sides unhappy, i’ve heard it said. ❞ ❝ there’s blood on your hands, aye, same as mine. ❞ ❝ i have done wicked things, i know, but i could not bear for you to hate me. ❞ ❝ it is good to see you smiling again. ❞ ❝ i have doubts enough without you throwing oil on the fire of my fear. ❞ ❝ blood pays for blood, a life for a life. ❞ ❝ go home, if that is what you want. i am staying. ❞ ❝ a man’d think there’s no trust between us. ❞ ❝ i would choose freedom over comfort every time. ❞ ❝ you are even lovelier than i was told. ❞ ❝ stay. i do not wish to be alone. ❞ ❝ treachery on treachery. is there no end to it? ❞ ❝ dreams and prophecies. why must they always be in riddles? ❞ ❝ one wrong word, and this could turn to blood in half a heartbeat. ❞ ❝ you lie. i can see the truth in your eyes. ❞ ❝ throw down your steel and stand aside, and no harm need come to you. ❞ ❝ you are supposed to be my friend. why must you mock my hopes? ❞ ❝ it is better to die with honor than to live without it. ❞ ❝ it does no good to brood on lost battles and roads not taken. ❞ ❝ i see you are deaf to sense. ❞ ❝ you are no better than me. we’re just the same. ❞ ❝ a man should never draw his sword unless he means to use it. ❞ ❝ you kill men for the wrongs they have done, not the wrongs that they may do someday. ❞ ❝ close your eyes. close your ears. turn away. you do not need to see this. ❞ ❝ the sooner we are gone from this place, the better. ❞ ❝ i am sorry my actions have displeased you. i did as i thought best. ❞ ❝ you do not need to trust a man to use him. ❞ ❝ if you cannot do this thing, you need only say so. there is no shame in that. ❞ ��� never wound a foe when you can kill him. dead men don’t claim vengeance. ❞ ❝ this is what i wanted, what i worked for. so why does it taste so much like defeat? ❞ ❝ honest men should never need to hide their faces. ❞ ❝ i am not the trusting fool you take me for. ❞ ❝ men’s lives have meaning, not their deaths. ❞ ❝ he’s dead. he won’t bite. ❞ ❝ if this is the price for peace, i pay it willingly. ❞ ❝ it makes me wonder whose side you are on. ❞ ❝ dreams and prophecies. why must they always be in riddles? ❞ ❝ i will not say that you are welcome. nor will i deny that i have hoped that you might come. ❞ ❝ you have the eyes of a wolf and a taste for blood. ❞ ❝ men are mad and gods are madder. ❞ ❝ one war ends, another begins. there is always someone fighting someone somewhere. ❞ ❝ not all risks lead to ruin. ❞ ❝ is there some place with fewer eyes and ears? ❞ ❝ i need you now as i have never needed you before. ❞ ❝ tell me, is there any fight left in you? ❞ ❝ it was the wind that you heard screaming. ❞ ❝ crying? i was not crying. why would i cry? ❞ ❝ are you some butcher of the battlefield, hacking down every man who stands in your way? ❞ ❝ rain. a storm is coming. ❞ ❝ that was simple. simpler than i dared hope. simpler than it should have been. ❞ ❝ see that you do not speak of this. i’ll not have this tale spread. ❞ ❝ how could i be so blind for so long? ❞ ❝ you had a bad dream, that was all. ❞ ❝ are you prepared to defend that boast with sword or lance? ❞ ❝ i will do it. i said i would. i will. ❞ ❝ think that. believe that. tell yourself it’s true. ❞ ❝ you have more enemies than you know. ❞ ❝ i have no heart. i only have a hole. ❞ ❝ it has been too long since i’ve killed a man. ❞ ❝ words are wind. words cannot harm me. ❞ ❝ have you forgotten who i am? ❞ ❝ too many good men died that day. ❞ ❝ it is so good to see your face, your sweet face. ❞ ❝ it is still not too late to abandon this folly. ❞ ❝ i will not stay here to be insulted. ❞

[louisaland]

SVU Season 16-17 rewatch

Season 16 is really good as a way to get to know the characters if, like me, you stopped watching after Season 12 ended and weren’t sure if it was worth continuing with.

I am very glad I did!

Amaro is just Stabler 2.0, as far as I can tell, but with a little more self-awareness as he realises he needs anger management classes and realises he needs to get out of the force for his physical and mental well-being and that of his kids. 

Olivia was obviously very attached to him, so I felt bad for her as she just keeps losing people. Working with Amaro evidently helped her get over Elliot leaving, and it seems like her relationship with Amaro was healthier than the one she had with Elliot. 

Amaro’s been linked romantically to Amanda, I believe? They are very similar from their upbringing and the way they internalise everything, so I c1n see why they would be drawn to each other.

When the two of them are talking/working  together and Carisi comes to give them some info/an update and they simultaneously answer that he’s not interrupting was funny. 

There’s a courtroom scene where Amanda is being questioned/cross-examined and she is asked about doing the right thing/having enough emotional support/what it means to be a good person and she’s looking in Carisi’s general direction. Very subtle, but made me squee!

I love that he hangs out with her and Fin outside of work, at the video games convention. Fin is still calling him noob/newbie at this point, so perhaps Rollins invited him? Those two always know all the celebrity gossip and who the famous people they need to talk to are. It ties in nicely to their later hang outs where they watch trashy reality TV together. Carisi I can see reading all his sister’s magazines and going to the movies with them to watch rom-coms growing up, as he seems to know a lot about them/says he loves them in the ep with the former teen actress and the producer.

Do we ever get the story about how Sonny was saved by the priests at his Catholic church? He mentions it in the big vlogging/TV religious family episode. I always saw him as a good student. For example  he’d be top of the class but would always ask questions so the other shyer kids who might not have understood and didn’t dare to ask would understand. Or he would tutor them. He seems to work very hard and be very focused, so I think he would be a favourite of the teachers. 

We know he was bullied physically and probably verbally too ( by Bobby Bianchi, at the very least), maybe because he was a bit of a goody-two-shoes. I really can’t see him ever getting into trouble at school or at home. We know he wanted to be a priest, so maybe he just spent a lot of time at church events to escape the bullying/find some real friends.

I was so prepared to hate Mike Dodds but he is very humble, is a bit annoyed to be there because of his dad’s nepotism and he refuses to be a tattle-tale. He apologises when he oversteps his boundaries, listens to feedback and generally gets on with everyone on the team. If he hadn’t had a fiancée, I’m sure he would also have fallen in love with Olivia too! 

Olivia is a very good Lieutenant. I see a lot of Cragen in her, as he would often give the team one-on-one pep talks and always tried to do the right thing when it came to members not doing things by the book. 

Maybe it got lost in translation, or I just struggle to pay attention to and understand the courtroom scenes, but Barba apparently says “Booyah, Fordham Law!” as a comeback/closing argument in a Season 16 episode, but I have never seen it though this is my second time watching. 

He was funny too when Carisi gives his personal and legal opinion on something and Barba says “That’s just your opinion, but yes, it’s correct”. 

Barba also wears fun, brightly coloured socks which are visible when he puts his feet up on the desk. I thought that was a fun way to show that he’s got a soft/emotional/fun side. Maybe because I know how he behaves in later eps towards Olivia, but I definitely find him less cold/unlikeable than I did during my first viewing. 

Something I read about was that potentially the show was going to have Barba and Carisi become romantically involved. Apparently the actors and writers were on board, but the network head said no. 

This would have deprived us of Rollins and Carisi though, and that would have been a big loss. Maybe someone like Dodds could have been gay and had a fiancé, thus having an openly gay member of the team and maybe some tension with Dodds Sr there. However,  Fin’s son Ken gets a storyline in that vein, when he and his husband have a child. 

On the tu/vous ( informal and formal you form) thing, Carisi uses tu with Amanda when she is at the hospital. This may be because they are of the same rank, but it definitely shows a level of friendship/closeness. 

Olivia, on the other hand, uses vous with everyone! Even Dr Huang, who she runs into with Barba, and she’s not in the office. She uses vous with Dodds Jr, even though she outranks him! 

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi Fen! Hope you're doing well <3

I've been having such a hard time going to sleep lately and I was wondering if the moon boys ever have that problem - when they're not trying to stay up that is. So what do you think? Do any of them have trouble falling asleep? What do they do when that happens? And how do you think they'd help a Reader who couldn't fall asleep?

I’m so sorry you’re having trouble sleeping! (And that it’s taken me so long to reply) I hope you're doing better now <3

Rating: PG  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: brief mention to sex

Steven

Doesn’t have trouble sleeping, and can go to sleep quite easily when he’s not fighting it AND when Marc isn’t co-fronting (Marc’s sleeping issues bleed over into Steven).

When you can’t sleep though Steven is more than happy to stay up with you.

“Spend most of my adult life on 2 hours of sleep a day, didn't I? Yes. So this isn’t even water off a duck’s back, this is air off a duck’s back, this is not even noticeable love.” 

Will suggest lots of different things to do: reading (he will read to you if you want to try to sleep), watch something, listen to music, go on a weird London at 3:30am walk, “the night tube is running and we could go to 24 hour karaoke in Soho?”, “did you know these libraries are open at 4am?”, “I know a 24 gym that has a pool, we could go swimming!”, “Beckenham Place Park actually has open water swimming, I bet we’d be the only ones there! But I’m gonna wear a nose clip because I don’t want possible brain-eating amoeba up my nose, do I? No.” Proceeds to tell you a documentary's worth of information about Naegleria fowleri and how it was found in 1978 in Bath, so “yes it is in the UK Marc.”

Basically he’s full of ideas about where to go in the middle of the night that’s open because that’s what he used to do when he was trying not to sleep. (Also it’s nice to do things when there’s not so many people about.) 

Will suggest driving to a spot he knows outside of London where there’s less light pollution to look at the stars. Will wake up Jake to do the driving. Will bully the hell out of Khonshu if the sky isn’t clear. (And will make him get rid of the cloud.) 

100% would ask if you would like him to fuck you to sleep.

Marc

He’s not asleep either. 

Usually gets Steven or Jake to fall asleep for him.

However, if they’re already asleep, or not available, he goes with the ‘I am laying down with my eyes closed, because it’s still resting’ philosophy. 

He tries not to toss and turn a lot, but he does bless him. 

Has tried to drink himself to sleep on several occasions. 

Doesn’t like to see you having trouble sleeping at all and spends ages fussing over you. 

Fluffs the pillows, gets extra blankets, gets less blankets, turns the heating on, gets the fan out, will run you a bath and put all the lavender stuff in and make you 500 herbal teas, then change the bed covers. 

Will offer to sleep on the sofa or the floor so he doesn’t disturb you while you’re trying to sleep. (Then apologies when you obviously hate the idea of him being away from you.)

Is giving ALL the cuddles, however you want them. Will lay in the most uncomfortable position for himself for you to be comfy (will not tell you the position is uncomfortable for him.)

Tells you the most outrageously made up stories in quiet hushed tones to help lull you to sleep and then acts mock offended if you doubt that anything he says didn’t really happen.

Makes you cum on his mouth repeatedly until you’re so exhausted you have no choice but to fall asleep.

Jake

Can actually fall asleep anywhere at any time. 

I still firmly believe that before Steven and Marc know about him he would front just to go to sleep because they are so bad at getting some shut eye and constantly run the body into the ground.

Has melatonin tablets and a whole pharmacy's worth of sleeping aids to share. 

Will 100% take you for a drive to try to get you to fall asleep (or just to take you somewhere if you want, or if Steven has woken him up to drive.)

“Jake, I need you to drive to-”

“Steven… It's bedtime, time for sleep. No driving.”

“Oh, but S/O is having trouble sleeping and-”

Jake is already out of bed with his car keys in hand.

Will offer to be your weighted blanket and lay all over you. 

Says he will threaten Khonshu to keep the sun down so you can rest if it takes you a while to get to sleep. 

Tries to (lovingly) bore you to sleep by counting sheep out loud and in detail. “This one is a Merino sheep, the ones that are very fluffy. Her name is Harold. She likes grass, but not clover. Which is unusual for a sheep. So that’s one so far, one sheep. Now this next one is…”

Doesn’t offer sexy times because he doesn’t want to be pushy, however if you suggest it he’s happily all over you.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

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If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[mamwieleimion]

Ever since I learned about him, I have always thought about Feanor as someone mad with grief.

I know some see him as irredeemable monster. And maybe he is. Maybe it’s impossible in Arda Marred, but who can say what’s to happen in Arda Remade?

However, I see one reason why Feanor would, once he truly healed and found himself again, bend the hypothetical knee and be reembodied before the end of the world.

The reason, you ask? His children. His family.

Maybe I’m being delusional (I wouldn’t count it out, it’s 11 PM here and I’m running on five or so hours of sleep), but that’s fandom to you right? We all lie to ourselves. Anyways.

I always envisioned Feanor as a caring if not ideal father. I am sure he made mistakes even before the Silmarils. But, he was good enough for his sons. He was good enough for Nerdanel. And that counts as something.

And so, with such vision in mind, I believe in a scenario where, somehow, somewhen Feanor changes for the better for his children. I do not particularly care right now how (maybe do a repost later about that).

So, I see a reembodied Feanor as one who, absolutely, mastered his pride, I love him but he would only hurt others if he came out without that figured out.

A Feanor who has a grip on his pride, is finally uninterested in the crown because he realised that it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

A Feanor who finally dealt with his grief over his mother. His grief over his father. Finally learned how to healthily deal with his emotions.

And I can see that Feanor living with other reembodied elves, regardless of who they supported.

Now, keep in mind that I spend hours reading fic’s in such a topic, so if something below sounds familiar, you can tag the fic or smth.

I imagine Feanor coming back, having realised that his hatred of Fingolfin was because of his insecurity about his fathers love. I can imagine they mending their relationship (and maybe it will never be as strong as it should have been, or maybe it will be stronger because of what they went through along the way, and it will be hard work, but I can see them making up)

I envision Feanor coming back to Nerdanel and being the ner she married but more mature. I see the screaming match and the tears, maybe some smashed statues or plates. But I also imagine them making up, I imagine Feanor bringing Nerdanel flowers or some trinkets, then spending together their inspiration blocks.

I can see Feanor meeting his sons again. I don’t know if it’s in Mandos or maybe it’s after they all reembodied. I think they would have the hardest time forgiving him, because he is the reason the Oath almost destroyed them. He caused much of their pain but also much of their joy. They struggle to see their beloved dad within the Mad King that lead them at the end.

I once heard someone say, the good you did doesn’t erase the evil you have brought. But neither does the evil erase the good you left behind. And I think that’s what describes Feanor’s situation best. His son’s too, but that a different bag of snakes that it’s too late for. (I am falling asleep as I write this. I almost nodded off like three times already)

[lovebugism]

EDDIE MUNSON MASTERLIST !

MASTERTAG | DRABBLES | HEADCANONS | ONESHOTS

☄. *. ⋆ ┄ SERIES

✶ THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT: eddie munson is a virgin and doesn't want anyone to know (because being an adult who's never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.

✶ PART OF THE BAND: a collection of drabbles documenting the trials and tribulations of being in corroded coffin with eddie munson

☄. *. ⋆ ┄ ONE SHOTS

✶ DRUNK IN LOVE: "you're drunk, eds" / "yeah, super drunk. and in the morning, when i'm sober, you’ll still be beautiful… i’m just gonna be too chicken shit to tell you."

☄. *. ⋆ ┄ DRABBLES

✶ I LIKE YOUR FACE: eddie and his cynical eyes have a confession to make.

✶ SHE'S SO UNUSUAL: eddie's pretty sure he's loved you since the day he met you. you're pretty sure love is a neurochemical con job.

✶ TEACH ME HOW TO BE SOFT: in which you have a hard time believing that eddie loves you and he has no trouble proving you wrong.

✶ THIS IS GONNA STING: eddie finds out that jason's been tormenting you and figures a couple black eyes are worth defending his best friend.

✶ OW, NOT THAT MUCH: in which you're first time having sex with eddie he loves on you a little too hard

✶ FUNK: you tend to get a little down sometimes, but eddie will always see you out of it. otherwise known as, the eddie munson comfort fic to end all eddie munson comfort fics

✶ TRACE: eddie's post-sex inner monologue

☄. *. ⋆ ┄ HEADCANONS

✶ EDDIE MUNSON'S FINGERS: a short lil drabble about sucking on his fingers for the first time because i think it's something we all need in our lives

✶ THE GLASSES DEBACLE: eddie thinks his glasses are the least metal thing ever. you prove him wrong.

✶ BROKEN BEDS: you and eddie break his bed. the worst part is having to tell wayne.

✶ PRETTY BOY: eddie munson was yours. so it was only right to fuck him like he belonged to you.

✶ “babe virgin!eddie has my heart and pussy fr when he cums inside you for the first time you KNOW that mf is shaking and whimpering...”

✶ "i desperately need an eddie headcanon about him eating pussy 👀"

[shirefantasies]

Hiiii hru? Can I request like the fellowship with a reader who is like a total push over? Like could be stabbed in the leg and would apologize to the attacker or like could literally be freezing but would offer their blanket so somebody who has slight chills. If you don’t want to that’s perfectly fine 😊 thank you ❤️

Yes you can! As someone who struggled with people pleasing for a long time & am still unlearning a lot, I really feel this! I didn’t go full apologizing for getting stabbed but hopefully this is a good representation of people pleasing behaviors 😅 Warnings: some blood/violence mentions, mental struggles implied

The Fellowship + People-Pleaser

Aragorn

“Why are we stopping,” you ask, “did you not say make haste?” “It cannot have escaped your notice that you were just stabbed,” Aragorn replies, gently urging you down and dabbing with stinging but necessary force around the bloody tear at your leg. His voice is hard to read- colored with wry amusement, perhaps, concern most definitely. His eyes shine at the sight of you and his gentle touch has heat rushing to your face. “Why do you think we would force you to bear a burden like this?” Struck. That is the only way you can describe the feeling, what his words do to you. You fear so greatly being a burden that the others see it as a poor reflection upon themselves. Like you think them heartless. You shake your head. “I’m sorry. I just- I didn’t want to slow us down since you said what you said. Never would I believe you capable of any great cruelty, Aragorn.” He nods. “That is not my intent.” His words are barely above a whisper now. “Now rest, please. We all could use it.”

Legolas

Shuffling behind you alerts you to another presence cutting like lightning through the spiraling clouds overtaking you. Panicking, you sniff and wipe frantically at your face with your sleeve, unglamorous as the gesture is. Straightening, you try your best to shakily apply the mask again, lips curving upward as much as you could will them. “What troubles you?” Legolas. Somehow it has, until this moment, escaped you that climbing into the trees was no promise of solitude when a woodland elf called your company temporary home. “Oh, nothing,” you say, cursing the waver of your tone, “nothing.” Brows furrowing, he stares pointedly as his dark eyes are soft and does not let his gaze leave. “Please. No burden is ever truly solitary.” Gaping, you try to come up with a rebuttal, feel too broken and melted to speak. Legolas sits at your side, leg brushing yours. “When you are ready, I will listen. There is no shame here. If you wish not to speak, I will simply stay.”

Boromir

Boromir's brows knitted at your repeated apologies. Breathy words of regret passed through your lips between waves of pain. Boromir's arms were around you, his steps shifting to guide you onto your back. Your leg was possibly broken, trampled in the last skirmish to great pain, and he had taken up the task of aiding your steps. “You did not ask for this,” his reply cut into your stream of words, “how can you apologize for actions beyond your control? You fought well, now come and rest.” “Thank you,” you manage, gritting your teeth as he lowered you onto a bedroll. “You are so like my brother sometimes,” Boromir chuckled deeply, smiling down upon your form as he unlaced your boots, “you need not prove your worth, you know. I care about you solely for what is in your heart.”

Gimli

“You can do anything! A great warrior lies within you! Every hit you take makes you stronger!” You had opened up to Gimli about the harsh words spoken to you in your past. The way you had subconsciously learned to live by them. Stay the desire to let people in lest they hurt you. It was exhausting, but you had been called a burden before and did not wish to be one again. Thus you told him to use those words again. You were used to them, after all. But all you received from the dwarf was staunch refusal. Kind words. Rousing words. “You remind me of my own kin,” he continued, “no challenge ever stops a dwarf for long. The fact that you spoke anything at all, naturally, is your first act of resistance. Thus now as you realize your own strength you can practice spitting it back in their face!” You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, but in the flash of joy something else pierces your heart. Gimli immediately took those words as hogwash. Maybe those lessons had not been lessons at all, but hits just as he said. Maybe there was something to be said for rising better from them instead of lying down.

Frodo

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” you give your characteristic response the moment the others check in on you, unwilling to become the burden they could surely see you as. Seeing as how you gave no strong opinions the others nod and continue on. Taking a deep breath, you walk on as well, at least until an arm falls gently across you in restraint. “Why do you always do that?” Frodo asks, eyes imploring. “Do what?” You reply, unsure what you have done to bother him. “Put yourself down so,” he answers, “act like your say has no value. They would stop for you, you know.” “I…I do not wish to be the reason we slow,” you stammer out, voice quieting. Frodo just shakes his head at your words, hand reaching up to grasp your shoulder reassuringly. “Do not doubt our love for you,” he tells you with a small smile, “after all, it is not a thing that is bought and sold.”

Sam

“Oh, Sam,” you hold back a sneeze, “I love them!” “Really?” He doesn’t look convinced, starting to retract the hand holding the flowers giving you the unfortunate reaction. “Of course, why would I not?” Cocking a brow, Sam shot back “Because my mother was always having a bad time with these lot and you just gave the same twinge of your nose as she did. No need to lie over it, I’d love to find you some new ones.” Your face and head fell. “Sam, I am so sorry, truly I-” “You can’t control it,” he chuckled, “besides, the apology is mine if you felt like you needed to lie. You never have to lie to me, ok? We can work it out together.” His eyes shone and all you could do was smile and nod.

Merry

"No, no, really, take it.” Insisting, you hold out your blanket in a shaky hand as you peer beseechingly into Merry’s eyes. His brows furrow faintly, but no annoyance or even confusion crosses his face, only…concern, a look as though you held out your very soul. “You really don’t need to do that, you know.” Now it is your turn for an expression fading into concern, brows knitting at more than just the chill wind whipping the trees. “Do what?” The hobbit places one hand upon his hip, the other giving an accusing little wave. “Offer up your blanket and think to leave yourself none. I thank you, but really. You have needs, too, you know.” Both his face and tone soften upon those words, punctuated with one step closer. “And they’re no less important.” No one said such things to you. Perhaps they even came with some disbelief, a grate on the way down like a wrongly swallowed pill. But the way Merry said it: it was clear to you he believed it, and that fact alone gave you pause. “O-oh. Alright. Thank you,” you replied softly. “Of course. And if you’re really so concerned,” he gave the rakish smile that always had your heart leaping, “we could always share. If you were comfortable, of course.”

Pippin

“Oh, Pippin, I’m so sorry.” “What ever for now?” No malice colors his voice, only pure amusement and its usual jolly lilt. He peers at you with brows raised and green eyes wide as you glance down. “I’ve got to reach over you really quickly here.” “That’s it?” “Well, I was getting in your way and-” “If that is getting in my way, do your worst. In fact, you don’t have to be sorry. You don’t have to be sorry for accidentally stepping in front of me, either, or not realizing you spoke at the same time as me… wait,” stopping., Pippin gapes at you, “do you think I don’t like you? I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth!” Your heart flipped. How could he even consider that you would think that? You just felt like you were in the way all the time. Apologizing was something you always had done. Just in case. “Oh, no, I just…. Well, I suppose it’s silly,” you trailed off. “Oh, no,” Pippin grabbed your faltering hand with a shake of his head and a grin on his face, “no more apologizing on my watch, alright?”