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#I have stuff I need to do over the weekends
fuckingrecipes · 18 hours
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How do I make mindblowing spaghetti sauce? I have been gifted a fuckton of homemade canned tomatoes and nothing but time this weekend.
Do the tomatoes have skin? If so, you'll need to dump them into a bowl and remove the skin by hand. Tomato skin in sauce is no bueno.
Are your tomatoes whole? If so, you'll need to quarter them & remove the seeds & goo in the middle.
Is there lots of excess water around your tomatoes? Drain that out.
If your tomatoes have already been deskinned, seeds removed, drained and quartered; proceed to next steps.
If you want a finer sauce (less chunks), crush or dice the tomatoes now.
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Make sure your pot is big enough to handle ALL the cans of tomatoes you'll be using at this time. For the sake of being easier to handle, I recommend no more than 3-4 cans/mason jars at a time in the pot.
For each can of tomatoes, get yourself 1 small-to-medium onion, and a couple cloves of garlic.
Chop all the onions. Crush & chop OR mince all the garlic.
In a saucepan, burner set to 'high', add enough butter that you can lean the pot around and coat the bottom. Let it melt completely.
Dump in all your onion.
Stir the onions around constantly, mixing and flipping them over until all the onions are starting to turn just thoroughly translucent, but not quite turning brown yet. (If they start to turn brown, turn the heat down a little)
Once they're translucent, push the onions to the side so you have some of your pan-bottom showing and dump your garlic in. Smush it flat-ish so most of the garlic is touching the pan. Leave it there until the bottom of the garlic is turning brown, then mix it all into the onions.
Immediately dump in all the tomatoes you used to make those onion calculations earlier. Toss in some red pepper flakes (use your own judgement here.)
For each can of tomatoes, add about 1-2 ounces of vodka or rum. (there are a lot of amazing, rich tomato flavors which can only be revealed using alcohol, and not oil or water)
For each can of tomatoes, add roughly 1 tsp of salt, if they weren't canned using salt.
Turn the heat down to 'low' and let it simmer (stay on the heat, producing lots of steam but few, if any, bubbles) for about 5 minutes.
At this point, you can add your herbs.
You want: Basil, Oregano, Thyme, Savory, Majoram, and Sage. Many Italian Seasoning or Mediteranean Seasoning blends will have them.
You can choose to use all of them, or only what you can find. For a cheap and tasty blend, Badia Italian Seasoning Blend is easy and works well.
Personally, I think a little bit of nutmeg, sumac, and sesame seeds is also lovely but it's not "traditional" Italian. A "Za'atar" spice blend should have the sumac with oregano and thyme if you can't find it as a standalone spice.
You can also track down fresh herbs, make a big herb bundle tied with string and dump it in your sauce to simmer, instead of using the dried flake stuff. Or do some fresh, some dried.
Your sauce will be looking 'wet' or 'liquidy' at this point, and will likely have tomato chunks still. You can use a potato masher to crush the tomato chunks if you want, but it's not required.
Let it keep simmering on 'low' in 5-minute increments to evaporate water off. Remember to stir every time you check the pot. It may take 30 minutes to reduce down to a thick 'sauce' texture, if there was lots of water in your tomatoes.
When the sauce consistency starts to look 'saucy' and thicker, check and stir more frequently. Babysit the pot.
Taste the sauce! Add salt to taste. (About 1-2 tsp at a time, mix thoroughly, re-taste, & repeat until it tastes great.)
TIPS:
Keep an eye and nose on your sauce at all times, especially if it's in its thicker stages. If it seems to be burning AT ANY TIME, immediately take it entirely off the heat and stir rapidly to cool it! The smell should always be 'stewing tomatoes and herbs' not 'burning or roasting'
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If you want your sauce to have a 'brighter/fresher' tomato flavor, make sure to strain as much liquid out as you can before starting, so you don't have to cook the tomatoes as long.
If you like the savory 'cooked/stewed' tomato more than you like the fresher 'uncooked' tomato flavor, then leaving more water in the beginning will make a longer cook time, and more thoroughly stewed tomato.
If you don't have hand-canned tomatoes, you can also use canned tomatoes from the store.
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bananayuyu · 8 hours
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Lust is in the Air
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Pairing: Hongjoong x f reader
Genre: smut
Word count: 6.4k
Summary: Your best friends drags you along to a family wedding, wanting to add some fun to your all too serious life. Turns out her uncle is the one who really provides the distraction.
Warnings: smut, MDNI, age gap (Hongjoong is 40 reader is 23), some talk during sex about the age gap so really don't read this if you don't like that, some dom/sub dynamics, throat fucking, degradation and praise, bratty y/n, use of pet names (baby, doll), ass eating, anal, unprotected sex
A/n: Sometimes I see a random video of him and I'm reminded all over again how hot I think a very mature Hongjoong would be. Especially if he was mocking me and making me feel pathetic. Yeah this was pure horny, quite filthy for me. This isn't as proofread as my normal stuff so apologies for any mistakes
------
Well, maybe it was a good idea. You had been staying in every weekend since the breakup, and maybe being forced out of the house would be good for you. Force you to interact with a few people, to actually put some effort into your appearance. Maybe put on a little makeup, or actually brush your hair.
"Please don't say no," Beatrice says through the phone. "My family would love it if you came, and I'd love it if you came. And we haven't had a chance to spend a weekend like this in forever. There will be free food and free booze!"
"I know you're worried about me, Bea," you respond, sighing.
"I'm not inviting you out of pity," she says.
"I know, I know. Just, give me some time to think it over. I've got an assignment I need to finish for one of my classes, I think it's due this Sunday night. So if I can't finish it this week I'll need to do it this weekend," you reply.
"Okay, just text me. I'm not gonna invite anyone else as my plus one, if you don't end up coming. So no rush, take your time," she says.
"Thank you. You know I appreciate you so much," you say, sighing into the cushion of your couch.
"You know I feel the same," she says, sighing too. You'd both been through breakups recently. It seemed like your hardships always occurred on nearly the same timeline, making you both able to rely on each other for understanding. And she knew getting you out of the house, especially for a weekend wedding, would be good for you. Her cousin's family was rich and hadn't held back in their planning, booking the fanciest hotel in town for everyone. They were paying for everything; the food and drinks of course, and everyone's hotel expenses. You'd knew you'd go. You'd try to finish the assignment beforehand. But even if you didn't, you'd still go.
Driving up to the front of the hotel together felt surreal. Beatrice had asked to take your car, as it wasn't the bright purple color that her's was. This place was fancy, and though neither of your cars were deluxe, at least your's was black.
"Miss McArthur?" the valet asked once you rolled your window down.
"Yeah, that's me," Beatrice said from the passenger seat, reaching over you to hand him her ID. "This is my plus one, y/n. She should be on the list."
After a brief look at his clipboard the man gave you both a satisfied nod. "Do you ladies have any bags we can carry up for you?" he asked.
"Yes, in the trunk," Beatrice answered for you, which you were grateful for. You'd never interacted with a valet before, never been in such a fancy situation in your life. You stumbled out of the car a bit awkwardly, your jean shorts and t-shirt looking ridiculous next to the suit and tie of the man in front of you. He held out his hand to you and for a moment you paused, wondering if he was offering to take your hand. But then you realized he was actually offering to take your keys. Duh.
"Thank you," you said quickly, heading around the car to meet Bea as you walked behind the man carrying your bags.
On the sixth floor you entered your shared room, a spacious and beautifully decorated space with a huge window covering the far wall. It was a sliding glass door, that led out to a balcony overlooking the river below. In the afternoon sun the water glittered, but you knew the view at night would be the real show, absolutely magical.
"Everyone is meeting in the restaurant at 7," Bea tells you, glancing at her family's group chat.
"Well then I've got a little over two hours to make myself look at least a little bit nice. Like maybe I actually belong here," you laugh, opening your bag to grab the casual dress you'd packed.
"Oh dinner tonight won't be fancy, wear whatever," Bea replies, kicking off her sandals.
"Okay but, with your cousins family not fancy would still probably be a little fancy, right?" you ask.
"You don't need to worry about fitting in, dude. No one will care," Bea replies.
"I just don't want to look like an idiot," you say, eyeing her.
"Y/n, you really need to stop worrying. This weekend is about us having fun. I'm not even that close with my cousin Amana, to be honest. We'll probably barely interact with her family. But we get to attend this fancy wedding, all expenses paid. Just wear whatever you feel like, do whatever you want to. Just promise me you'll have some fun," she says.
"Okay, fine," you respond, rolling your eyes jokingly. "I guess I'll try to enjoy this super nice luxury hotel for the weekend."
Bea laughs in relief, at hearing you joke around. It was what you both needed more of; you both had serious work and school lives already to contend with. And seriously disappointing dating lives, too.
As seven approaches you both make your way to the elevator, pausing at you exit the door to inspect the slight amount of makeup you'd put on. You hadn't worn any in weeks and it made you feel really pretty, along with the flowly sundress and sandals you'd decided to wear. You weren't always one for such feminine clothing but today it felt right, and you both bounced down the hall, spirits high. Bea led the way through the lobby to a long hallway, past what looked like a bar and some other room that had a bouncer, to the large restaurant at the end. Immediately you saw the long tables lined up, clearly set up for the wedding party. This wasn't the dress rehearsal, just the welcome dinner. It was only Friday, and the wedding wasn't until Sunday. Immediately you spotted the wine and appetizers filling the table, scanning the tables to try to find your seats.
"I can't find us Bea," you laugh, awkwardly walking past family members you'd never met before.
"Y/n, you're at our table," you hear a familiar female voice say, and turn to see Bea's mom.
"Oh, hi! Thank you!" you say as you walk over to her, giving her a quick hug.
"So glad you could join us sweetie," she says, gesturing to your seats. "See, you and Beatrice are near the end there, across from Nathan. Oh and have you met Beatrice's uncle Hongjoong before?" she asks, gesturing down the table.
You look down to see Beatrice sitting, pulling her chair under her and smiling wide. Across from her, in a casual but fitted grey t-shirt, a man smiles back, handing her a glass of wine he's just poured. He is striking, with jet black hair and tattoos, piercings donning his right ear. His jaw is sharp, his teeth perfect when he smiles. He looks maybe 27, 28. He's wearing an expensive watch, or at least a watch that looks expensive to your eyes, and a small simple chain necklace. His hair is cropped short at the sides; he looks so put together, so professional. So mature. So fucking attractive.
"That's Bea's uncle?" you ask her. It's not just his age that makes you ask. It's the fact that he's basically your dream come true. You see the muscles in his arm flex as he pours Nathan a glass too, and it makes your eyes cross for a moment.
"Well technically I think he's a second cousin, once removed, or something like that. He's a part of Wooyoung's family." Wooyoung was her husband, Bea's dad. You'd met her parents, and her brother Nathan, but never anyone else in her extended family. And you struggled to recall ever hearing about a Hongjoong before. You stared at him a moment before he moved his eyes over to you, catching you off guard. His look was mischievous, like he wants to play or mess with you. It made it hard to believe this was someone Bea called 'uncle.'
"Do you want to sit?" Bea's mom asked you.
"Yeah, sorry," you smiled at her, making you way down.
"Y/n! This is my uncle Hongjoong, and Hongjoong, this is y/n," Beatrice says as you pull out your seat next to her.
"Very nice to meet you," he says with an outstretched hand, his handshake strong and confident in a way that makes your body tingle.
"You as well," you reply, with a bashful smile. Immediately Bea asks you a question and you respond on auto-pilot, not even really hearing. Because your head is swimming in water just from being in this man's presence, and you can't focus. You don't even notice the glass of wine he'd poured you until he sets it down by your appetizer plate, gently bumping the stem on the rim of the plate to make a gentle clink. The sound makes your eyes snap up, and for some reason he looks amused.
"Oh, thank you," you say to him, bowing your head slightly. That mischievous smirk is back on his face when you lock eyes again, like he's trying to tell you something, but you can't be sure what it is. You certainly hope he's thinking what you're thinking. God, he's fucking stunning.
Those are the only words you speak to each other for the entirety of dinner. With so many people in attendance the restaurant is loud, louder still as everyone becomes tipsy, and then outright drunk on the unlimited wine.
"Hey, my parents want me a Nathan to go take pictures with them on the golf course nearby. They booked a photo shoot or something," Bea tells you, rolling her eyes slightly. "I'm not sure when we'll be back but feel free to like, go to the hot tub or do whatever around the hotel," she says.
"Okay, sounds good. Thank you, seriously," you say as you hug her. "I hope it's fun."
"Oh, I'm sure it will be," she laughs. "My parents and their family photos," she shakes her head, making you giggle, as she slowly makes her way to meet her brother at the front door of the restaurant.
You take stock of yourself for a moment, making sure you have your phone and your wallet in your purse, making sure your room key is still in your wallet. You take the last swig of your second glass of wine, patting yourself on the back for not overdoing it this first night when basically everyone around you did. You start sipping on your nearly empty glass of water too, knowing you don't want to wake up hungover tomorrow. The table is basically empty, with everyone slowly clearing out or making their last requests at the bar. You decide you'll go explore in a moment, go scope out the pool and hot tub situation, and maybe see if you can figure out what room is behind that bouncer. But just as you start standing up, Hongjoong approaches the table.
"I got some more waters for the table, but it looks like they've all left," he chuckles, his arms full.
"They went to do a family photo, Bea said," you reply, stuck for a moment awkwardly between sitting and standing. Hongjoong nods, like he already knew.
"Oh, were you about to leave too? Don't let me keep you," he says, the glint back in his eye again.
"I was thinking I'd go take a look at the pool and hot tub, maybe explore a bit," you say. It sort of takes you by surprise that you're sharing this with a total stranger, given your usual instinct to not share anything with people you don't know. You easily could have excused yourself, and been exploring the hotel alone. But deep down you know why you're sharing it. You hope he picks up on that reason, too.
"That's a great idea," he says, gently setting the waters down. "Mind if I join you? I was thinking of exploring the hotel some myself."
Bingo. You smile, eyes fluttering at him for a second. You truly don't even mean to do it, but the way he looks at you has you feeling shameless.
"Sure, I wouldn't mind," you reply, stepping out from your chair and gently pushing it into the table.
"Want to take a water with you?" he asks, holding one out.
"I don't think we can just take the glass with us," you reply, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Oh, who cares," he says glancing over his shoulder, seeing all of the wait staff occupied at the bar with everyone's last minute orders. "I'll carry it out, if you're that worried," he says, cocking his head slightly to the side and eyeing you with what must be mock pity.
"Fine," you roll your eyes at him, trying to fight the smile forming on your face from betraying how much his tone and facial expression are affecting you. You turn around and start strolling out of the restaurant, not even waiting for him. Once you're exiting he's already caught up, two water glasses in hand. You turn to your right, heading for the lobby.
"Wrong way, y/n," Hongjoong says lowly from behind you, making you stop in your tracks. "The pool is out those doors and the end of the hall."
"The sign in the lobby says the door to the pool is by the front desk," you reply, looking over your shoulder at him. The hallway is dimly lit, and the shadows on his face make his jaw look even sharper.
"Well that door also leads to the pool," he says, gesturing to the end of the hall. You just stare at him a moment, not sure why you feel the instinct to argue. "You don't believe me?" he asks, chuckling and looking you dead in the eye, before obviously snaking his gaze down the entirety of your body. Now that he's standing you see the fitted black pants and black dress shoes he's wearing, making his outfit look even more professional. His thighs look strong, and his stance is one of confidence, his entire demeanor cool and collected. You want to come up with a witty retort but can't think of anything, so you just start walking the way he's said to, again passing him by without slowing down to meet him. You open the doors gently but don't stop to hold them for him, brattiness taking ahold of you. Maybe it's the fancy hotel, or the wine, but you feel like a princess who deserves whatever she wants. And right now that's to piss Hongjoong off a bit, and see the pool.
"I thought nice girls hold doors open for the elderly," he says once he's exited too, sidling up to you. You stand by the long edge of the pool, taking in the lights below the surface that dance through the water. You turn to him and roll your eyes, taking the water glass he offers you immediately. "So, what do you do?" he asks.
"I'm still in school, I'm in my senior year," you say, turning back to the water. "And I work part time as an administrative assistant in the Dean's office, to help cover some of my tuition."
"College senior," he says, like he's mulling it over. "So that makes you how old?"
"Guess," you say, turning to him again, this time with your whole body.
"22," he replies. His voice low, like he's hesitant to say it.
"Close, 23," you say, not lowering your voice to meet his.
"And how old do you think I am?" he asks you, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Mmm, like, 38?" you joke, squinting your eyes as you look intently at his face. The feeling of wanting to piss him off still hadn't left you.
"How astute," he replies, nodding. "People usually think I'm younger."
"You're actually 38?" you ask, bewildered.
"Actually, 40," Hongjoong replies, making your eyebrows shoot up.
"You're lying," you say, rolling your eyes and shaking your head at him.
"Wow, second time tonight you've thought that. I don't know what I've done to make you think so poorly of me," he replies, that mischievous look again painting his face.
"Oh, shut up," you say, rolling your eyes harder this time, wanting to reach out and playfully punch him. Or maybe not so playfully. He's looking more and more perfect by the second, and his attitude, the way he's just so confident and calm, is making you hot and bothered. You know it maybe it's wrong, but now that you know his real age you find this whole scenario even hotter. If you were honest with yourself you'd always dreamed of fucking an older man, but the few you'd gone on dates with or had the chance to talk to had always been so immature, insecure, and underwhelming. Just like all the other guys you'd dated. It was a massive disappointment to learn that age didn't often give people that self-assured demeanor that you so desired. But clearly it did sometimes; the proof was standing in front of you.
"That wasn't very nice," Hongjoong replies, fixing you with a look of disapproval that makes your thighs clench involuntarily, as the two of you stare each other down merely feet apart. You hold his gaze as long as you can before you look down at your feet, his stoic demeanor feeling like a brick wall you can't break through.
"You're very pretty, y/n," he says, stepping forward to lift your face up to his.
"Really?" you ask him, eyes wide. Playing it just the way he likes.
"I know you know how pretty you are, you've been giving me those eyes all night," he says, looking like he disapproves. "You're a bit of brat, too, aren't you?" he asks, his hand moving to the side of your cheek.
"No comment," you giggle, and he grabs your hand, bringing it to his upper arm. You grab onto his bicep as he moves his hand to your waist pulling you two closer.
"Dance with me," he says, pulling you slightly into his chest.
"There isn't any music playing," you say, laughing. And it's the way that he doesn't just automatically laugh at your little comments that really gets you going.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't like me very much," he says seriously, pulling you in and starting to rock you back and forth. You dance together for a few minutes, no words being exchanged as your bodies get used to the proximity, as your mind begins to swim again, even more so now that his hands are on you. You want him to kiss you, do anything, now, but he keeps his hands where they are, still leading you around in slow circles. Fuck it, you think. You lift your hands to his face and pull him in, your lips meeting in a perfect kiss, his hand on your waist moving up your back as he holds you to him, leaning you back as he deepens it. You hold steadily onto his bicep for balance, your breathing fast as you stick your tongue in his mouth, not hiding your desperation. You don't care to, not when you've spent two months without this feeling, tortured over the idea that no one at your school would ever consider you an option after your last relationship ended the way it did.
And just when it seems like you're the only desperate one, Hongjoong moves his hands down, running them up your thighs and under your dress to find your panties. He finds none, much to his surprise, which makes his dick harden even further. He gropes your ass, deepening the kiss more, making you arch your back in neediness. And then he snakes his hand around, slowly moving to your core, before suddenly running a finger over your slit, making you gasp. You've forgotten where you are, totally engrossed in the feelings he's giving you. You buck your hips against his hand, moaning pathetically into his mouth, your legs feeling like they might give out on you. He starts circling your entrance, finally pushing one finger in maybe an inch, when you finally remember where you are.
"Wait, fuck, not out here," you say, pulling back from him. He pulls his hand away immediately, his fingers glistening in the lights of the night.
"You don't want everyone to see?" he asks, a smirk on his face.
"Not when the people paying for me to be here could see," you say. Your lips look swollen and wet from the kiss, and it makes him want to grab you again.
"You're the one who kissed me," he says, his voice low. And you know there's more he's implying, that you weren't just the one who kissed him but that you had rocked against his hand, had wanted his touch. That you'd kissed him desperately, making him unable to stop himself. The implication is inappropriate, the accusation he's laid on you not fair in the slightest. He has no way of knowing what you were trying to make him do, or what you wanted to happen. You hadn't said a word. And yet, he's totally right, making it hard for you to respond.
"That's-," you sigh, your pussy still throbbing from your proximity.
"My room is on the 7th floor," he says.
"Okay," you reply. It's all you can say. You stand completely still, stuck to the spot, waiting for him to move. Instead he puts his wet fingers in his mouth, sucking off your slick in one smooth motion, humming in satisfaction. Your mouth gapes at his lewdness, struck now by just how visible you both obviously are.
"Let's go," he says, motioning his head towards the door.
Your legs move automatically, your mind playing over and over the visual of him licking his fingers, the look of utter bliss on his face. As you walk the hallway he comes behind you, putting a hand on the small of your back, making your body melt into him slightly. It feels good but you gently remove his hand, not wanting anyone to see. You pray that neither Bea nor any of her family are in the lobby when you enter, and thankfully, your prayers are answered. Nor does anyone join you two on the elevator, which makes you willing to stand closer to Hongjoong than you would any other stranger. But still, you don't touch him. As you both exit you walk behind him, almost enough space between you that you could believably look like two total strangers, walking to separate rooms. Until he unlocks his door, holding it open as you slip inside, like you're really not supposed to be in here.
As soon as he closes the door he's pulled you to him, his back slamming into the wall as you nearly crash together, the air between you thick with lust.
"I'm almost twice as old as you, y/n," he whispers in your ear, feeling your pussy clench against his thigh that you're straddling, your mouth on his neck. "You like that," he states, not even asking you anymore. "You like that I'm way too old for you. Too old to be touching you like this."
It's wrong, so wrong and you know it, but the further he pushes it the more you're surrendering to what's happening, to what your body truly craves.
"You've never been fucked right by those stupid boys at your college, have you? You need me to fuck you right, to show you how good you can feel. That's why you were bratty with me, you wanted me to be riled up. Want me to fuck you hard, like I'm mad. Like I'm punishing you," he growls, his breathing heavy as you bite down on his neck, sending sparks of pain and pleasure through his head. "Fuck, you really want me mad, don't you?" he asks and you whine in response, your whole body tingly with anticipation.
"Get on your knees," he says, pulling you back from him, your hair already a mess from his hands, the straps of your dress falling down your shoulders and nearly making your tits spill out. "Open your mouth," he commands, and you follow immediately, your wide eyes looking up at him in desire, his thumb running over your bottom lip. "I like when you do what I say," he says, pinching your cheek and making you blush, the praise making your insides turn to jelly. He unzips his pants smoothly, undoing the button and swiftly pulling out his hard cock, the tip a slight shade of red and already leaking slightly.
"Look what you did to me," he says, palming himself, your tongue nearly falling out of your mouth as you salivate over his beautiful cock. "I thought for a moment I'd have to come up here and deal with this all on my own, after you eye-fucked me all dinner," he continues, slowly stroking his length, moving closer to your open and waiting lips. "I should have known you weren't wearing any panties from the way you were acting," he says, gently running his tip along your outstretched tongue, spreading your spit around your face with it and making a mess of you. "No bra, no panties. You wanted to be fucked tonight." Slowly he enters your mouth, gently holding your head as he pushes further in, gently tapping the back of your throat and making you gag. You moan, your pussy clenching around nothing, wanting him to fill all of your holes at once. "That feels good, doesn't it. Gagging on my cock," he smirks, your eyes fluttering closed as he pushes in again, this time a little harder. "Eyes on me baby, don't look away," he says, slowly beginning to fuck your throat, gently enough not to choke you but deep enough to make you repeatedly gag, your spit covering his cock and running down your chin, your face a complete mess. "Fuck, your mouth feels good," he groans, his face scrunching up in pleasure for a moment, before he looks down to meet your eyes again, which are now glued to him, glued to every change in his expression, every flick of his tongue across his bottom lip. "I'm gonna go harder baby, I know you can take it," he warns you before picking up his pace, his cock nearly bottoming out in your mouth as he holds your head in place, repeatedly fucking into your throat. You're automatically swallowing around him, your body's reflexive actions taking over. "Fuck, so good," Hongjoong sighs, your head feeling light from the lack of oxygen and your body swimming in pleasure. You could let him use your throat all night if he wanted to, especially if he keeps talking to you like that. Like you're dumb and you don't even know what you want. Like he has to tell you or you'll never figure it out.
Finally you choke hard, your body instinctively pulling you back, and he pulls out of your mouth letting you catch you breath, stroking a hand through your hair. You run a hand across your mouth, trying in vain to clean yourself up a bit, wiping the saliva on your dress and staring up at him open mouthed, your entire body covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Hey, don't ruin this," he says pulling at your dress, moving behind you to help take it off. He slowly undoes the zipper, gently pulling the straps down and off your arms before helping you stand to step out of it. Completely bare, you stand in front of him, his hand coming up to spank you, grabbing your ass hungrily in his hand. You yelp at the impact, like you weren't expecting it. Like you hadn't been sticking your ass out ever so slightly, arching your back to add to the affect. "Don't write checks you can't cash, doll," he says, making you giggle and turn your head to face him, a look of utter delight on your face. "It really makes you happy when I scold you, doesn't it," he says, staring you down.
"Why are you so clothed?" you ask, finding your words.
"You want to see me naked?" he teases.
"Just seems like you're hiding something. Maybe under all that nice clothing you're really not that built," you laugh, knowing it would strike a nerve. It wasn't hard to tell that he cared about his figure.
"Go sit on your hands on the bed," he retorts, his eyes narrowing, as he starts taking off his watch, undoing the clasp on his chain. He sets both down on the table gently, pulling his shirt over his head next, revealing that most of his abdomen is also covered in tattoos, his broad shoulders and broad chest. Slowly he sits on the side of the bed to untie his shoes, periodically looking up at you to make sure you haven't moved, moving almost comically slow. You wriggle in anticipation, watching him slowly reveal himself, his muscular thighs finally on display to you as he pulls down his pants and boxers, his cock hard and a deeper shade of red now, still glistening from your spit.
"Lay on your stomach," he says, moving over you when you oblige, raking the hair out of your face so he can see you. "This is what you get for sticking your ass out," he says, swiftly moving down to lick over your hole, making you gasp at the coldness of his tongue. Immediately the feeling runs to your clit, your entire crotch alive with pleasure, your back arching instinctively to meet his movements. He spreads your cheeks to get better access, moving his tongue in quick circles around your tight entrance, your body slowly relaxing from the pleasure he's providing.
And suddenly he's off of you, reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling out a bottle, swiftly lubing the fingers of his right hand and moving them to your waiting hole, gently pushing one in. You groan, the tight muscles stretching already, your body arching even further to give him the perfect angle as he gently starts pumping in and out of you.
"You like getting your ass eaten, I knew you would. So dirty," he says, making you whine in agreement, your brows scrunched together in pleasure. Soon he adds another finger, the stretch again making you groan, your body instinctively tightening up at the intrusion. "I know you can take it," he says, not even attempting to comfort you. "Don't brats like getting their asses fucked?" he asks, his words making your clit ache, your body finally releasing again as he works you open with two fingers, taking the opportunity to quickly add another. "I knew it," he says, satisfied with how quickly he's stretched you open, how pliant your body is in his hands, how he's getting exactly what he wants from you. Still fucking you with his fingers, he opens the lube bottle again with his other hand, generously dousing his achingly hard cock. Gently he pulls his fingers out of you, frozen for a moment staring at the way your hole has opened up, nearly drooling from the visual.
"Spread you legs," he says, pushing your knees apart himself, pulling you ass up towards him, just where he wants you. Lining himself up, he slowly pushes in, the stretch even more severe this time, making you whine in pain, your breaths short and stifled with your head now shoved into his pillows. "What, you can't take it? Is it too big?" he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "My little brat can't take my cock in her ass?"
Tears start forming in your yees from how turned on you are, the pain a secondary feeling as it all starts to feel just right, as it starts morphing into only pleasure as your muscles finally relent. You feel like you're being split open, like you're opened up more than ever before, like he's gutting you from the inside. Finally he bottoms out, reaching into you further than you thought you could feel, your clit throbbing painfully with need.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he groans from above you, brushing a hand along your cheek in an almost sweet gesture, seeing the single tear stain on your cheek. He waits a moment, waiting to feel if your body is ready, and suddenly your hips are moving into his like your body is begging him to move. He slowly pulls out, almost all the way, then thrusts back in, making you gasp at the intense pleasure, your breath nearly getting caught in your throat. Grabbing your hips he starts forcefully thrusting, chasing his own pleasure as he's sucked into your ass, the tight muscles threatening to make him come in an instant. Desperate for some relief you move your hand to your clit, desperately trying to circle it as he rocks you hard with the force of his thrusts. His eyes are glued to your ass, glued to the way his cock looks buried inside you, and your face, the way your mouth hangs permanently open as you moan in earnest, clearly not controlling a single sound that is coming out. The raw sounds make him fuck into you even harder, the way you sound so pathetically fucked out, like you can't believe this feels so good. Eventually his eyes roam down again and spot your hand, swatting it away in an instant, his anger boiling up again.
"Is my cock not enough?" he scolds, his voice gravelly from breathing so raggedly, the air in the room stifling hot. In this position it's hard, but quickly he finds a good angle and lands a sharp smack on your clit, the pain lancing through your core like lightning, and suddenly your whole body is shaking, your nerves completely on fire. "Even with my cock buried in your ass you want to piss me off, don't you?" His voice is raised, nearly to the point of losing control, but still very calculated. He lands another sharp slap on your clit, this time not as hard, but in an instant your orgasm washes over you, your whole body shaking hard as you squeeze down around his cock making it hard for him to keep moving.
"Fuck, baby, shit," Hongjoong curses, his climax hitting him by surprise, his cock milked by your tight walls squeezing down on him, your body taught with just how hard you came. His orgasm crashes over him fast and hard, his body going limp just after yours does, as you both collapse in a pile on the bed, his cum coating the walls of your ass in silky wetness. Your legs are still shaking, tucked up underneath you, his cock still buried deep inside. The position is awkward but you don't even feel it, the pleasure still rippling through you as you breath hard into the soft pillow. Hongjoong crashes onto your back, his arms instinctively wrapping around you, his chest and stomach rapidly rising and falling from his heavy breathing. His skin feels sticky and hot against yours, his hot breath fanning over your cheek as he plants a kiss there, intently watching your face as you come down.
"I'm gonna pull out now, okay?" he asks, eliciting a hum of agreement from you. Slowly he pulls backwards, his cum spilling out of you the moment he's pulled out entirely, spilling down your ass cheek onto the bedsheets. Hongjoong makes his way to the bathroom, quickly cleaning himself up before grabbing a washcloth for you, dousing it in luke warm water. Coming back to the bed he gently moves you onto your back, to the side of the pool of cum. He gently wipes you down, making you moan when he brushes over your clit, making himself chuckle.
Glancing over at the clock beside his bed you see it's nearly 11pm, your mind spinning. Quickly you move to the ground to rummage through your purse, glancing at your phone to see a text from Beatrice reading 'I'm back now, don't stay out too late miss.'
Be back soon, you write back.
"I should be going," you say, trying to stand up, your wobbly legs making it difficult. Hongjoong is at your side in a moment, stabilizing you, helping you to sit down on the bed while he grabs your dress off the floor. You hastily pull it over your head, running your fingers through your hair and feeling the knots that have formed. Quickly you zip the back of your dress, shove your phone in your purse and stand to slip on your sandals, not wanting to keep her waiting. The sudden quietness of Hongjoong also has you feeling slightly on edge, and really your head is just spinning, from every unexpected thing that happened.
"I'm not still mad, you know," he says gently, grabbing your hand as you move to breeze past him.
"Yeah?" you ask, looking at him with confusion.
"You don't need to still be acting like a kid who is in trouble," he says, kissing your hand. "That was just, that. You can talk to me like anyone else, now."
You eye him, swallowing thickly. What does one even say, now? Could he tell how inexperienced you were with hookups?
"I'm not sure what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I hope it's happy thoughts."
You nod, a smirk playing on your lips. You're speechless, unable to think a complete thought. It all just plays in your head, his tongue on your ass, his fingers stretching you out, his cock pounding into you so hard. And the smack on your clit, the way it made you come so fast, the ghost of the feeling still present in your core.
"Not those thoughts. You're gonna jump me again," he laughs, and finally you smack him, punching his arm soon afterwards. Pushing past him you walk fast, opening his door and spinning around, your eyes piercing as you meet his.
"What, you can't take my teasing?" he asks, but suddenly his door swings shut, your face gone in a flash.
As you saunter down the hall to the elevator you feel fucking amazing, swinging your purse over your shoulder and flipping your hair to the side, your sleepy eyes boring holes into the metal doors.
Well, she did tell you to have some fun. You just hoped Beatrice wouldn't be too mad you fucked her uncle.
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daydreamerwoah · 2 days
Text
Family Tree (Chapter 3)
Simon x Y/n <3
If you all read my "Bourbon" one shot, this chapter is somewhat based off that, but I changed some things to fit with the story.
After another week had passed, Colonel Williams and his team had finally completed all the necessary paperwork, and you were finally able to get the keys to your father's home. The awkward silence between you and him as he placed the keys in your hand made him rub the back of his neck. He was at a loss for words; you were as well. The two of you stood outside on the sidewalk, glancing up at the townhome. The brick exterior almost reminded you of the dingy apartment you had back in the States. It was old. And from the looks of the bay window that faced the street, you could make out a crack in the corner of it. 
"Thanks, Colonel Williams," you smiled. Well attempted to through the furrowed eyebrows on your face. 
"Course. Let me know if y'need anything yeah? Always a call away," he said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. His small grin did nothing to ease your slight anxiety, but you accepted it nonetheless. 
After he got in his car and left, you glanced back at the house for another moment before taking a deep breath and walking up to the front door. Placing the key into the lock, you slowly turned it to the left before hearing the click of the door unlocking. The moment you turned the handle and opened it, you were hit with the awful stale scent of a home that hadn't had a window open in months. The dark, long hallway made you feel like you were walking into the unknown - which technically you were. You had no clue what was going to be on the other side of the wall, but you had an idea as you got to the end of it. And that idea was unfortunately correct.
The living room - while seemingly a decent size - was filled with so much stuff. Books, clothes, hardware, and anything else you could think of were scattered all over the floor and chairs. The only thing you could make out a little was a pillow and blanket that laid on the couch, like your father had been sleeping there. You turned your head to the left, looking into the adjacent room and seeing a huge dining table that had more junk stacked on it. You walked closer to it and couldn't help the deep furrow of your eyebrows. Newspapers dating back from a couple of weeks to years were just there, along with documents that looked like past due bills. It made you somewhat cringe about what you'd find in the kitchen, but you swallowed the small lump in your throat as you continued walking toward the back of the house. 
To your surprise, the kitchen was relatively clean. Only a few things, like canned goods and unopened tea bags, sat on the counters. More papers that seemed to be bills and letters also scattered along the countertops. When you opened the fridge, you were also a bit shocked to see the only thing that was in there was a shit ton of beer. What the hell had your father been doing? You could have taken a wild guess, but it seemed ridiculous; you didn't know the man. How were you going to judge someone you had never met before? 
Once you had walked through the entire house, you found there were three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, all similar to how it looked on the ground floor; old, dusty, and semi-abandoned. It seemed that the man had spent the majority of his days and nights downstairs and would only use the bathroom when needed, as you saw his toothbrush and razor laying on the sink. 
What the hell were you going to do with all of his stuff? After all, the house was now in your name, but you felt weird at knowing you were going to have to do something about it. Some children always took the low road of selling their parent's home,' taking the money, and moving on with their lives. But you didn't want that. Did you? You obviously packed up everything you had to move to England, so why would you sell something that was left to you? 
"Shit," you sighed. 
That entire weekend you spent cleaning out all of the clutter that was in the townhome. From the old newspapers to the canned goods, it was all dumped in the garbage can outside on the curb. You even picked up supplies to deep clean the kitchen and bathroom since you needed to use those areas the most. While you still had access to the hotel room that was paid for by Colonel Williams's team, you didn't want to keep bugging them for longer than you needed. Even though he reassured you it was okay. He even offered assistance to come help you with cleaning out the house, but you declined. While it definitely would have helped make things easier, you were just as stubborn as the man you never met. Not accepting help was something that was the norm for you. 
As you were taking out another bag of trash to the curb that Sunday afternoon, a woman - probably in her late 60s if you guessed - walked out of the townhome that was next to your father's. 
"Oh, hi dear," she greeted.
You softly smiled at her, "Hello."
"I thought I heard something going on over here this morning," she stood close to the fence that divided you two, "I'm Alice," she said, holding out her hand. 
You sweetly took it, "Y/n."
"Lovely name," she smiled, "Did you just buy the home?"
You quickly glanced at the front door, wishing she wasn't asking you questions right now, before looking back at her. But it didn't really matter at that point, did it?
"Uh no no... it-it was my.. dad's."
Alice's eyebrows furrowed for a second before the shocked look ran across her face, "You're Charles's daughter?" You quickly nodded, "Oh my goodness dear. I'm so sorry for us to meet under the circumstances. Your father and I had been neighbors for over 20 years." She explained, giving you a sad smile, "If you need anything. Or just want to come over for tea, I'm always home. Me and Misty don't often get visitors." You wanted to ask who was Misty, but before you could, you heard the low sound of a meow down by Alice's feet. You looked and saw an orange and fluffy cat glancing up at you, its tail flicking side to side slowly. Alice looked down and giggled at the animal, "She's a big fuss, but she's friendly."
You smiled when another meow came from the cat before Alice bid you farewell and walked back into her home, letting you go back to cleaning. Looking around the living room, you still had a lot to do, but at least for now, you had made some progress.
************************************************************************************
"Okay. Make sure you don't get the stitches wet for a week. Come back when they're ready to be taken out, alright?" You told the young patient, who had taken a nasty fall while skateboarding. Her mother, while a bit worried, thanked you before they walked out of the room. 
So far, the week had been pretty easy.. at least at work. Every day after your shifts, you would stay up at least until a little after midnight, cleaning out and organizing the house. It was now Wednesday, and exhaustion felt like it was about to hit you the moment you clocked out.
As you typed up your notes on the computer, Ella's cheerful voice popped up beside you as she sat down in the seat, "Soo.... what're you doing after work?" she smiled. 
You glanced at her, slightly giggling at her question before focusing back on the monitor in front of you, "Ella-"
"Oh come on! You don't even know what I'm gonna say."
You couldn't help but side-eye her, making that sly smirk of hers turn into a huge grin, "Okay... humor me. What were you going to say?"
She tried her best not to laugh, but it was obvious as she pouted, "We can go get drinks.... and food?" she asked. 
That made a chuckle bubble up your throat. Usually, she always asked you to go for drinks, but maybe she thought adding the food part was such a huge difference. Yet, you couldn't help but consider finally giving the girl a chance to have a drink with you. Maybe then she'd stop asking you constantly about it if you went at least once. 
Sighing, you turned and looked at her again, "Okay fine."
The squeal that left her lips made you laugh, "Yes yes yes! I promise it'll be fun yeah?" she exclaimed before grabbing a paper chart to head and see her next patient. When she got down the hallway, she turned around facing you, "You can't back out!" she shouted. 
Shaking your head, you smiled and continued to type up your notes before seeing your next patient.  
Ella left 15 minutes before you did, and she made sure you were still coming before she left. You promised you would be there, but as you walked out of the hospital and got on the bus, you almost regretted agreeing to go out. It wasn't that you didn't enjoy her or anything, but the thought of being out when you really wanted to just go to sleep sort of made your head hurt. 
One drink. That's all you'd have, and then probably tell her you were tired and were going to head home. 
When you walked into the pub, the scent of beer and greasy bar food filled the place with its aroma. It made your stomach slightly growl since you hadn't eaten since lunch and that was barely a real lunch - chips and a bottle of water. 
"Y/n!" Ella's voice yelled out as she stood up from her seat in a booth off to the side. You glanced her way and smiled, walking towards the booth and sliding in. "You made it!"
You giggled and playfully rolled your eyes, "I told you I was coming."
"I know.. but- I thought you'd change your mind or something," she said as she pouted. 
Did you really give off the impression that you would go back on your word? Maybe. It was obvious that Ella didn't know anything about you, but you felt a twinge of guilt run through you as you looked at her. 
"I like keeping my word," you said before a knowing grin spread across your lips, "Besides... you were going to ask me until I eventually said yes," you teased, making her laugh. 
"Oh shut it," she said before a waitress came over to the table and took your drink orders. You also got an appetizer to share. 
It was odd. Well no.. good. Ella was a sweet person, and the more you got to know her, the more you realized you and her could be friends. Even with you dodging a lot of the questions she asked. Anything about family was an immediate "they're all back in the States" except for the one you moved over to England for. When she asked if it was a cousin or something, you just said no before switching topics. But she wasn't stupid... you dodged those questions like it would kill you if you answered them. It was a difficult subject - that she was certain of - so instead of pressuring you, she followed your lead. Surprisingly, you two had a lot in common - music, food, even some of the books you liked to read. The only difference you two seemed to have was the type of alcohol you liked. While she settled for vodka, you fancied a bourbon over anything. 
"Reminds me of one of my boyfriend's friends. He loves bourbon," she giggled. 
"Sounds like he's got good taste then," you joked. 
A full laugh escaped her mouth as she pulled out her phone, "Speaking of boyfriend. I'm gonna see if he wants to join us. Maybe you can meet him," she said, typing away on her phone. By that point, you were two drinks in, and somehow, the sleepiness that once plagued you vanished. Maybe it was because of the distraction of getting to know Ella. Or maybe it was because you had some food in your system. But either way, you didn't mind meeting the boyfriend she always talked about so lovingly. She glanced up at you and then back to the phone before setting it on the table, "You alright with him bringing his friends? They had a shit day at the range, so they're all needing a drink apparently," she giggled. 
Meeting more people? You internally cringed, "Maybe I'll head out. Let you guys chill-"
She instantly cut you off, "Oh come on. You don't have to leave. I know they wouldn't mind. Plus you have to meet Kyle anyway," she tried convincing you. 
You couldn't help but slightly groan. Looking down at your attire - nurse scrubs that had a tiny stain from the food that dropped on your top - you shook your head, "I'm not dressed to be meeting anyone, Ella."
She all but barked out a loud laugh, "Look at me. I promise you they won't care about that. They're really cool. Probably gonna come in here with dirt on their clothes from being outside most of the day, so we'll all look tired," she joked.  
A sigh left your mouth, "Fine fine... geez you know how to convince me now that we had two drinks together," you teased. 
"We're so gonna be besties," she beamed, making you playfully roll your eyes. 
"I'm heading to the restroom," you said, standing up before making your way to the back of the pub. At least you'd try to look half-decent and fix your hair a bit. 
They're about to meet... cue the awkwardness lmao!
Taglist: @simp-4-masked-men @dayrin085 @jessicab1991 @kylies-love-letter @kalypsoox @brownlee-22 @firefoxkairan
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lottins-only · 3 days
Text
I love you, it's ruining my life | Part V
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pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader
word count: 4.5k
part one, part two, part three, part four
V. May 2024
She’d gotten the invitation in the mail a few weeks ago, a creamy white envelope announcing the upcoming wedding of Julien, a childhood friend from Bondy, to his fiancee of several years. Seeing his name on the paper had brought a smile to her face; it had been years since she’d seen him.
She’d be in Paris to visit her parents anyway, it would be a crime not to go.
She’d quickly written to him to say congratulations, and Julien had texted back a thank you. Moments later, he’d texted her something she’d expected. 
Not sure if you’re still in touch with Kylian, but if you can let him know about the wedding, that’d be great. We haven’t seen each other in ages!
Unsurprisingly, the response she’d gotten from Kylian was a firm and resounding no. 
“Why not?” She’d asked over the phone.
“Because of a lot of things, Y/N” There was a lot of chatter from Kylian’s end, she had caught him just as he’d entered the locker room after a grueling match. 
“Well, what are those things?” She’d asked. 
“I can’t just go to a wedding” He’d grumbled. “Haven’t been able to do that in years, in fact. I  have to think about bringing security and all that stuff”
She’d expected he’d say that, so her response was quick. “So bring your bodyguard. I’m sure Julien and his fiance won’t mind”
“And let someone leak a story to the press about how I’m a stuck up asshole who brings a hundred people with him everywhere he goes?” He’d snorted. “No thanks”
She’d rolled her eyes. “I don’t think anyone we grew up with would do that, Kylian”
“How would I know? I haven’t spoken to those people in years” 
“I haven’t either.”
“Exactly” He’d said. “Let’s just not go. It’s Ousmane’s birthday party that weekend  anyway. Actually, he said to tell you that you should come”
She’d frowned. “So you’d rather go to a party than to your childhood friend’s wedding?”
“It’s just a wedding Y/N” He’d said, his tone weary. “People get married all the time”
She couldn’t believe how mean and dismissive he was being.
“And get divorced all the time” He’d continued, letting out a humorless chuckle. “The stats on that are crazy, actually. Someone should let Julien know”
“What? Kylian, that’s so harsh. Why are you talking like that?” She was starting to get angry now.
“I’m not being harsh. Just honest” He’d said “Look, the last thing I need right now is to go to a public event, okay? I’m sick of people asking me about where I’ll be next year, and I’m sure as hell sick of having a hundred cameras pointed at me”
“Ok, then.” She said, her irritation evident in her voice. “You have fun at the party. I’ll go to the wedding.”
“But–”
“Tell Ousmane happy birthday for me”
He’d paused before responding with a resigned “Fine”
They hung up after that, goodbyes curt. She didn’t know what was going on with him, but he’d been very tired and irritable lately. He called less and less, and took longer to text back whenever she reached out.  She suspected it had to do with his contract with PSG, which she knew was nearing its end, but they didn’t speak about things like that. If he had news, he’d tell her. So far he hadn’t said anything, which meant things were probably still up in the air and it was troubling him. She’d chalked it up to that, and was therefore able to quickly move on from the conversation. 
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The day of the wedding arrived, and Y/N found herself at the crowded venue of the wedding reception, wearing a silky blue dress she’d bought a long time ago but had saved for an occasion like this. She was seated next to Manon, a girl who used to live two doors down from her, and Anna, who she knew was Kylian’s first kiss and who she’d consequently been very envious of as a pre-teen. It was great catching up with the two and reminiscing about the old days. It turned out Manon worked in marketing while Anna was a tattoo artist. 
“So, are you and Kylian still friends?” Anna asked, taking a sip from her drink. The toasts had been made, and dinner had been eaten. They were now watching the bride and groom take the floor for their first dance. 
“Yeah” She said. “We’re still friends”
“Well, wave him over then. He looks like he’s lost” Anna nodded towards something behind her. 
Y/N whirled in her seat. Sure enough there was Kylian, his head down, weaving his way through the tables. People looked up to stare with hushed gasps as he passed by them. Y/N raised her arms to wave, and thankfully his bodyguard noticed and started guiding Kylian towards their table. 
“Hi” Kylian said, smiling tightly as he pulled a chair and took a seat.
“Hi” She said. “I thought you weren’t coming”
He shrugged. “You were mad at me”
“And I was right to be” She said, smiling despite herself. He looked handsome, she could tell he’d gotten a fresh cut. 
“Sure” He rolled his eyes before turning to their tablemates. Anna and Manon were briefly starstruck as he greeted them, as if they forgot they’d grown up with him. The initial awkwardness wore off quickly though, and before long they were all chatting animatedly. 
“Remember when you two–” Manon chuckled,  gesturing between Kylian and Anna.
“Ah, yes. When we dated for a whopping two days in the seventh grade” Anna laughed. “I do remember that” 
Kylian laughed along with her, shaking his head in embarrassment. 
Y/N couldn’t help but snicker. “Two days? What happened?”
Kylian opened his mouth to respond but Anna beat him to it. “We kissed one day, and then the next day was valentine's day. I found out he gave you a card, while I got nothing. So I dumped him”
Y/N gasped, elbowing Kylian. “Oh my god, I remember that. Those anonymous valentine’s cards we did in class. That was the first year someone sent me one, I was dying to find out who it was. I didn’t know it was you”
“Oh, we all knew” Manon said while Anna nodded in agreement. 
“Everyone knew he had a crush on you”  Anna said. “At least everyone except for me. I found out after the whole card thing”
Kylian said nothing, keeping his eyes trained on the bride and groom as they swayed. 
“Okay, so what happened after that?” Y/N pressed. She was flushed. If only her twelve year old self had that information. “Did you two ever talk again?”
Kylian finally turned to her, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Not really. I acted like it never happened” He grimaced at Anna. “Sorry about that, by the way”
Anna laughed. “You were the ultimate heartbreaker, Kylian!”
He chuckled, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that made Y/N’s heart skip. “Yeah, well, I got my karma back, don't worry.”
“What do you mean?” Anna asked curiously. 
He hesitated before answering. “I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, is all”
Y/N looked down at her lap, idly fiddling with her jewelry. The cynic within her had convinced her that Kylian didn’t care for her in that way. She’d allowed herself to believe he wanted her only for her body, just another fleeting fling in a long line of them. But his behavior over the past couple of months had made it clear that her own insecurities had clouded her judgment. She had the person she cherished most right in front of her—the boy she had loved since she was twelve—and yet she had pushed him away.
As she watched the bride and groom twirl, doubt grew inside of her. Was that kind of love even possible for her? Could she ever meet someone she cared for as deeply as she did for Kylian? The thought felt almost laughable. In her heart of hearts she knew that there would never be anyone else who could fill that space in her life.
Suddenly, the DJ switched to an upbeat song and people started to flock to the dance floor, eager to join the bride and groom. Manon and Anna went off as well, leaving just the two of them at the table. 
Y/N nudged Kylian gently.“Dance with me?”
He looked at her with an apologetic look, wordlessly shaking his head no. He looked tense, evidently very aware of being in public. 
Y/N visibly deflated. She wanted to be in on all the fun, but Kylian clearly wasn’t up for it. Oh, well. He did come here for me. I don’t need to make him even more uncomfortable, she thought. 
She smiled tightly at him, hoping he couldn’t see her disappointment. But of course he did. 
He hesitated before grabbing her hand and standing up, pulling her out of her chair. “Let’s go”
She grinned, her heart fluttering as  they made their way to the dance floor. Sometimes, when he did things like this purely to make her happy, the walls she’d built around her feelings for him would break down, sending her heart into a joyful spin.
They got to dancing, laughter bubbling between them as she playfully teased him about his abysmal dancing skills. 
“You just want me to be publicly humiliated huh?” He grumbled, a mock pout on his face. 
Just then, the song changed to a slow ballad. They froze, exchanging uncertain glances. It was only couples around them now, slowly moving to the romantic song playing. 
“What now?” Kylian asked, his voice low.
She stepped closer, wordlessly wrapping her hands around his neck. Her breath hitched when she felt his hands land on her hips.  They swayed to the song,  shifting their eyes  away from each other whenever their eye contact got too intense. His fingertips on her hips felt like they weighed tons. She wondered if he wanted to kiss her; she knew she’d let him if he tried. She’d fantasized about it more times than she could count.
Suddenly, she bumped into someone’s back. They’d been so focused on each other they’d completely lost track of their surroundings, it seemed. She turned around, ready to apologize, but froze when she saw who it was.
“Lucas?” She said incredulously. 
He had a different haircut than the last time she saw him, but it was definitely him.
Kylian's grip on her tightened slightly. “You’ve got to be kidding me” He muttered under his breath.
Lucas’ eyes lit up in recognition. “Y/N, wow. How are you?”
“I’m good” She said, forcing a smile.“ Crazy running into you here”
He smiled a fake smile, pointing to his dance partner, who she hadn’t noticed until then. “My girlfriend is co-workers with the bride”
She greeted his girlfriend, who was nice enough. 
“So you two finally got together, huh?” Lucas said. Y/N could tell he’d had a little bit too much to drink by the way he was swaying on his feet.  He leaned closer to Kylian, making it known the next part was just for him. “Better have her on a tight leash,  or she’ll start emotionally cheating on you”
Kylian recoiled at his words. “That’s not a bigger red flag than breaking up with a person over the phone, or thinking of women as animals you put a leash on” He gave a pointed look to Lucas’ partner. “He’s in the habit of doing that, by the way”
Poor girl looked like she wanted to disappear. 
Y/N felt disgusted. “Can we not do this here?” she said to Lucas. “It’s a wedding.”
Lucas shrugged, unfazed. “Just looking out for the guy. He should know what he’s getting into.”
Kylian stepped closer, a protective stance forming. “She can speak for herself, Lucas. And right now, she’s not interested in your opinion.”
Y/N suddenly noticed that some of the wedding guests had their eyes on them, clearly having noticed Kylian on the dance floor. They had their phones out, no doubt ready to send social media ablaze with pictures of Kylian and a ‘mystery woman’. Without thinking, she stepped away from Kylian and his hands fell away from her hips. 
He gave her a hurt look, confusion etched on his face.  “Y/N…”
“There you go!” Lucas laughed. “She doesn’t even want you to touch her”
Kylian gave Lucas the dirtiest look she’d ever seen him give to someone. “Fuck you” 
He turned on his heel and strode away without waiting for a response, his bodyguard trailing closely behind him adding a dramatic effect.
She made to follow him, but he disappeared into the crowd quickly. She turned to Lucas angrily. 
“You’re disgusting, you know”
He opened his mouth to say something, but she stormed off. 
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She found him taking pictures with a group of people, dimples and charisma on full display. Someone even pulled out a jersey—though she couldn’t quite fathom why someone would bring that to a wedding. Still, he signed it with a gracious smile, effortlessly charming everyone around him.
“Kylian” She said as she stepped closer. “Can we talk?”
“Sure” He said, his smile fading slightly as he excused himself from the group. 
“Look, I’m really sorry” She said. “It’s not that I don't want to be seen with you or anything. It’s just –”
“No, it’s fine” He said unconvincingly. 
“It’s not fine” She said earnestly. “That was really inconsiderate of me. Especially since you were standing up to that asshole for me. Thank you for that, by the way”
He shrugged. “That’s what he deserved” 
My sweet Kylian, she thought.
She enveloped him in a hug, taking in the smell of his cologne. He hugged her back, albeit somewhat hesitantly. She could tell something was still bothering him.
“Kylian, are you okay?” She asked, pulling away. “You’ve seemed off for a while now”
“I’m okay” He said, looking at the ground. “Just a bit stressed is all”
She looked at him empathetically. “Tell me”
“Well, for starters, I shouldn’t be in public right now”
She frowned, feeling guilty. “I know, it’s a lot–”
“No, it’s not just that. That I can prepare myself for.” He said. “It’s because there’s a video announcing my departure from PSG that’s going to be released–” He paused to look at his watch. “-- In about 20 minutes, so…”
She stared incredulously. “What?”
“I said there’s a video–”
“You’re leaving PSG?” She said in a hushed yet raised tone.
“Yes” He affirmed.
“And it’s going to be announced in 20 minutes?” 
“Yes” He repeated. 
“And you’re in a packed wedding full of proud Parisians” She stated the obvious. “One week after crashing out of the Champions League”
He nodded, then yelped when she smacked his arm. 
“Kylian, why the hell did you come?” 
“Because I wanted to make you happy” He said simply, rubbing his arm.
She didn’t know whether to smack him again or kiss his beautiful lips. She decided on neither.
“Let’s get out of here then” She said, already dragging him to the exit. “Before the video is released and all hell breaks loose”
“But we haven’t even talked to Julien!”
“You’ll send him an expensive gift” She said, sounding determined. 
He chuckled, letting her lead the way.
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They were in his car, his driver speeding away from the wedding venue. She watched him look out the window, the city lights casting a yellow glow over his skin. He looked less stressed, but she still thought there was something going on with him.
“So, where are you going?” 
“Hmm?” He pulled his eyes away from the window, seemingly jolted out of his thoughts. 
“Where are you going to play next?” She asked.
“Take a guess”
“Uh, let’s see, Leeds United?” She teased. 
He rolled his eyes. “You know where”
She squealed, launching herself across the backseat to give him yet another hug. “Real Madrid? Oh my god! Congratulations, Ky”
“Thanks” He giggled, hugging her back tightly. “I’m really excited”
“You should be! This is your childhood dream” She pulled back to look at him, her eyes wide with excitement. “Remember that winter you abandoned me to go visit them?”
“Well you’re getting back at me for that now” He said with a sad smile.
“Hm?”
“You’re moving back here” He clarified. “While I’m going there. You’re the one doing the abandoning this time”
“Oh” She said, understanding. “About that, I, uh–I’m not moving anymore”
He froze. “What?”
 “ I mean, I was going to, but… things changed. I got a promotion at my job, and the pay raise means I actually get more than what I’d earn at the new job here, so I told them I’m not gonna go for it”
He lets out a strange laugh. It’s near hysterical, but it stops as abruptly as it starts. “So you’re not moving back? You’re staying in Madrid?”
“Yes” She said slowly. “I’m staying in Madrid”
“Cool” He fidgets in his seat, his fingers tapping lightly against the armrest “Great”
He looked out the window again, then turned back to her, his face breaking into a huge grin.
“What?” She giggled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just really happy you’re staying” 
“Why?” She knew why, she just wanted to hear him say it.
“I wanted better for Luna” He exhaled loudly, as if this was a concerning issue he’d thought long and hard about. “ I hear the cat food here sucks”
She burst out laughing. She didn’t know what, but she could tell something just shifted between them. 
“You know, I haven’t been back in a while” He said. “To Bondy”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” He said thoughtfully. “You just reminded me, when you mentioned that time I went to visit Madrid”
“Why don’t we stop by?” She said, her eyes lighting up. 
He paused for a moment, contemplating. 
“I don’t have anywhere else to be. Let’s do it” He said finally. 
He told his driver, and they went on their way. They sat in silence for most of the drive to the suburbs, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Oh!” Kylian’s eyes lit up suddenly. He pulled something from the console. “I forgot to give you this”
“What is it?”
“Belated graduation gift” He said as he handed her a small gift bag. She’d graduated from her masters program a couple weeks ago.
She beamed,  pulling out a jewelry box from the bag. “You didn’t have to” She cooed.
“Liar”
“You’re right, I love gifts” She grinned.
Her eyes widened when she revealed the pair of earrings. “ Kylian, wow” 
She looked at him in disbelief as she held up the jewelry delicately. “They’re so beautiful”
“I got them from Cameroon, when I visited last year” He explained. 
There was a card nestled amongst the wrapping of the earrings, small enough that she almost missed it. 
“Oh, there’s a card” She said as she picked it up.
Kylian’s eyes widened, reaching out to take it from her hand. “Wait, no—”
She leaned away from him to avoid his grasp, her smile almost fading as she read what was written:
“Y/N,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but right now I’m in Cameroon, and I’m heartbroken. 
Maman thinks I should call you. Tchaga and all the others think I’m annoying because all I do is sulk.
We visited a traditional market today. I saw these earrings, and I thought of you immediately. They’re made by female artisans, which I think you’ll like.
 I love you, I think it’s ruining my life.
–K”
She looked up, the last sentence reverberating in her head, almost drowned out by the pounding of her heart. 
She didn’t know what to say, just looked at Kylian, who was avoiding her gaze.
“I forgot that was there” He said quietly. 
The car came to a halt just then, and Kylian’s driver let them know that they’d arrived at their destination.
They found themselves at the park they frequented as children, where they spent countless afternoons and evenings. They took a seat on a bench, facing a gaggle of children playing football. The park was otherwise empty save for a couple other wanderers, which was unusual for a summer’s evening. Y/N wasn’t  complaining though; fewer people meant less chances of Kylian being spotted.
They seemed out of place in their formal clothes; her in her silk maxi dress, and him in his suit.  She stole glances of his side profile as they watched the kids’ game, marveling at his beauty: his big brown eyes, the strong nose he’d inherited from his mother, and those pink, pouty lips. More than 10 years of knowing him and yet he still managed to take her breath away.
He turned to her suddenly. “What’s on your mind?”
She decided to be honest. “I was thinking about how pretty you are”
“Pretty?” He chuckled.
“Yeah. Pretty” 
“Don’t think anyone’s used that word to describe me before” He said.
“Well I have” She said. “Many times before – in my head”
“Me too,” He admitted, his gaze warm. “I’ve called you pretty. Also many times —in my head.”
She grinned at him. It was impossible not to. “Speaking of pretty, I want to try those earrings!”
She pulled them from their box, quickly removing the ones she was already wearing and carefully putting on the new pair. Kylian took an exaggerated double take, his eyes widening. “Qué hermosa!” 
She snorted. “ Working on your Spanish, I see”
“I’m already fluent, cherie” He winked at her as he pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of her. 
A loud cheer erupted from the kids; someone had just scored a goal. Y/N and Kylian briefly turned their attention back to the game, smiling at the infectious joy of the kids as they rushed to one another for a group hug. The celebrations gradually faded, and the children returned to their positions to continue the game.
She swallowed hard. “Did you mean that?”
“Mean what?” Kylian dragged his eyes away from the game. It didn’t matter if it was being played by a bunch of 10 year olds, football was still his favorite thing. It was quite endearing, actually. 
“What you wrote on the card” She said quietly. 
“Yes” He met her eyes. “I do”
“What did you mean– what do you mean when you said it’s ruining your life?” She asked.
He took a deep breath before answering. He had a pained look on his face. “It’s just – I don’t know, it feels like torture sometimes, not having you. First it was the whole time you were with Lucas when I was pining after you, and then it felt like I had you, but you ran away. Let me tell you, those couple months after that when we weren’t speaking were the worst of my life.” He took a shaky breath. “And whatever we are now, just friends, it’s never going to be enough”
“Kylian..”
“And I was speaking to Papa” He continued, ignoring her. He scooted closer to her, eyes so intense. “He told me to take a leap of faith. To cut out all the bullshit and tell you I love you.  So here I am, I guess. I want you to tell me what you truly want. Not what you think you should want, or what other people want for you. What you really, really want. Because if it’s me? I’m all in, Y/N” 
He took her hand, gently opening up her palm. “Because you’ve had my heart here” He traced his index finger over her palm. “Ever since I met you at my birthday party all those years ago. It’s always been you for me. There will never be anyone else”
Y/N didn’t respond immediately,  lifting his hand that was on hers to her lips and kissing his trembling fingers. “Just so you know, I’ve wanted you as long as I’ve known you. And you’re right, maybe all of the excuses I was telling you and myself were lies. Because I was scared. I thought if we did this and it didn’t work out, I’d end up losing you forever. I didn’t want that, Ky. But how would we know if we don’t try? We have to try, right?” She paused. “I really want to try”
Kylian let out a relieved laugh at her words. They were so close to each other, their faces mere inches apart. He cupped her face with his hands, caressing her cheeks in a way only he could. She closed her eyes, basking in his touch. She felt gentle kisses on each of her eyelids.
“Yes” She heard him murmur. “I want to try”
They closed what little distance was between their lips, kissing passionately. All the tension, all the unspoken feelings that had been brewing for ages seemed to dissolve in that moment. It felt like releasing air after holding her breath for a long time. It felt like relief.
“Wait, there’s someone taking pictures” Kylian muttered as he pulled away.
“I don’t care” She said, chasing his lips with hers.
To her annoyance, he pulled away again. “But you–”
“I said I don’t care” She mumbled, kissing him again. She felt him smile against her lips.
They left the park after the game ended, satisfied and at peace. Hands intertwined, lips swollen from kissing. She thought about the kids that they used to be, the ones who used to run to the very same park everyday after school. Oh how they’ve grown,  how they’ve changed. 
Inside the car, she turned to him, her heart steadying after a long while of drumming loudly. “So, what now?”
His gaze was unwavering. “ No more running away.”
"No more running away" She repeated softly, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes.
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A/N: Aaand thats it folks. hope you like this last part <3 i'm working on an epilogue though so stay tuned for that. as always lmk what you think in the comments or in my inbox. thank you for reading!
tags: @kyliansonlygf @ynkfreeastheocean @scottishthistle @user6373738 @lucysantos6-blog @tuliptopiasstuff @kennasutopia @cinderellawithashoe @akiracim @kymb-10 @germanapples @ariesmai @edgyficuselastica
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curly-cottage-girl · 8 months
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I feel like I’m losing the battle of treading water and am just starting to drown in exhaustion now
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deoidesign · 16 days
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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aroaessidhe · 1 month
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2024 reads / storygraph
So Witches We Became
YA horror
a girl and her friends go on vacation to a house on a private Florida island, but when a strange mist and toxic tar surrounds them, trapping them there, they have to find a way to survive and/or escape
while she’s being haunted by a traumatic experience with her friend’s boyfriend - who just showed up - that she’s been unable to tell anyone about, and by a shadow from her childhood that she fears might have something to do with what’s happening
sapphic, explores complicated friendships, and surviving assault
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kohakhearts · 6 months
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theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
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theloveinc · 1 day
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deku definitely has several notebooks filled with drawings of you!! some of the drawings are quick sketches with pen or pencil while others are so heavily detailed and beautifully colored that it looks like a photograph!! i think on nights where he couldn’t sleep he would be drawing how you look sleeping in your shared bed drool & everything <3 i think he would love coloring in your pretty eyes 🥺 he would take such great care in capturing your beautiful image and would probably be caught staring at you very often because he wants to make sure he captures every tiny detail AAAAA i love him :(( i also love the idea of you or even his friends catching him in his office staring at his latest drawing of you with MASSIVE heart eyes 🥹🥹
-oc anon
!! sdnkfaj and I don't even think he realizes how much he's doing it. He has no idea that you've really... become his muse over the months/years you've been together. of course he still draws heroes and students and work / project designs and EVERYTHING but his go-to mostly just becomes you.
it's really only when people start to notice that he actually goes: Oh. especially when it's such that people are now asking to see what he's done of you recently, just like you said !! You in bed, your newest fave outfit (he's busting out the sketchbook unconsciously when you do a haul lmao, he's so funny), you making dinner one night... WHY IS THIS CHEWING ME UP??
it's literally ADORABLE to think of him putting out his weekly drawing of you for his students to look at on his desk - they nearly riot the one time he tries to draw something else (all might), asking if he's getting divorced or if you fought or WHAT lol and he's beating himself up inside lsj,dfakdf because NO. he was just worried they might be sick of how much he LUVS U !!! and shows that through his hands and pencils <3
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manasurge · 2 months
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1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<
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hopefulqueer · 6 months
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i like it so much when there is a spider :`) it makes me so happy to be able to see a spider and watch the spider and know that there are spiders nearby. and when i am stressed or worked up i can just look at a spider and calm down. spiders <3
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snickerdoodlles · 6 months
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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it
#its like#people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards#except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that#and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option#and like#vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them#a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr#where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them#part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling#like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other#vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented#like? its not like theres any one way to fandom#and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs#but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like#idk#feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want#.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend#i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me#but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs#which is a very different dynamic#its like. hmmm words#i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages#vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal#if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe#and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need#before returning to it later when i have more time/energy#its got Longevity that discord lacks u know#........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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exopelagic · 1 month
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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ghostoffuturespast · 1 year
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Being a writer is weird.
#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this#my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic#and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it#different strokes for different folks#but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes#and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this#riding high and wallowing in the mud#this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have#and i've been doing this for the past year and a half#it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason#it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love#anyway just felt like getting that off my chest#i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too#i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose#also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm#no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit#more vp comin in over the weekend#also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious#man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome#i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace
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sarah-sandwich-writes · 8 months
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HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE
I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???
I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H
Okay so
I...
have been cooking
by which I mean illusions of grandeur and
schemes
And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.
I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.
The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home
“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.
Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and
Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.
OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).
Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).
There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol
WHICH REMINDS ME
The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.
And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS
I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa
I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing
I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)
and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)
I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH
anyway
OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think
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