#I have some issues with Timmy but this is the better pick

[visenyaism]

promise?

[msfcatlover]

Duke in the Reverse!Robins AU be like…

”Eldest daughter syndrome? What eldest daughter syndrome? Nah, just because I’m the oldest does not mean I have eldest daughter syndrome. Sure, I’ve had to mediate between Damian & Bruce, or Steph & Bruce, or help certain Titans find a middle ground, but that’s just being a good leader. And yeah, I’m protective of the younger kids, but that’s just what any responsible adult in my position would do.”

*finds out one of the members of his team has such bad civilian trauma they need to straight-up quit hero work*

“Oh shit… I fucked this up. I was too focused on my own problems, how the fuck did I miss this? Okay, okay. I was already burning out trying to juggle being Gotham’s only daytime hero and single-handedly leading the Titans. I need to pick one. And find some way to make it up to Grant. Jesus fuck, how did I miss this…”

*Tim becomes Cass’s apprentice. Steph & Cass start arguing more often. Steph has her biggest fight with Bruce yet. Steph goes missing.*

*Steph dies*

“After that fight with Bruce, no one backed her up. She didn’t know anyone was supporting her. She died thinking none of us were on her side. If any one of us had actively taken her side, instead of getting distracted with our own messes, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Oh, but am I really expecting Damian or Bruce to be intelligent about feelings? Am I really expecting tact from Cass? I know them too well; it should’ve been me, shouldn’t it? I can’t believe I managed to fuck up worse than I did with Grant…”

*Luna gets taken away*

“Look at what you’ve done, Bruce! Look what you’ve fucking done! You’re tearing this family apart! We all promised to look out for her if anything happened to Steph, and you’re just going to force every single one of us to break those promises?! You’re going to rip away the last piece of Steph we had?!? Look at Dami & Cass! Look at them! You did this!”

*finds out Damian’s training for Tim to be Shadow uses all the LoA techniques he refused to use for Steph, making it borderline-through-outright abusive, almost certainly to try to drive Tim off by making him too miserable to continue*

“I. I can’t fucking believe this. I can’t… I can’t believe it took me so long to realize. Damian, nobody is happy about this, but fuck you. I thought you were trying to be better, you absolute fucking asshole! And I… I don’t even have the excuse of not knowing half of the involved parties this time, or being away, or too busy, I was just looking away because I didn’t want to think about Tim taking Steph’s mantle. I should’ve fucking stopped this the first time Tim came back from Bludhaven. God fucking dammit, how do I keep failing the kids in my care in the same fucking way, over & over again?!”

*was all the way at the other end of the room & looking in the wrong direction to have enough forewarning to actually save Tim from being shot*

“I… I… I… I’m literally the only person who could’ve fucking stopped this. I have all the training, all the abilities, but I went to refill my punch glass, and now Timmy might never walk again. I mean, absolutely blame the asshole who pulled the trigger, but Tim & I were in the same fucking room. Who would even put a hit out on Tim Wayne? There’s no way Tim doesn’t know who’s behind this, but he won’t tell me because he doesn’t trust me, because of course he doesn’t! Look at my track record! When it matters most, I let down the people I love. My parents, Grant, Steph, Tim…”

*Jason becomes Shadow.*

*The Tower fight happens.*

*Jason gets kidnapped by the Joker.*

*Bruce “dies,” and Jason runs away to have the Red Robin arc.*

*Dick only begrudgingly puts up with Duke because Duke’s rather overbearing expressions of protectiveness support are not meshing well with Dick’s “stuck on anger til I personally catch my parents’ murderer” issue*

“…If anyone needs me, I’ll be screaming in the closet.”

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for two anon supporters, the wet nurse omegaverse.

“You can, uh–you can give Lor a turn,” Jon says, seeming to have remembered he can fly enough to be embarrassed by agreeing so eagerly to the game, or maybe just to have remembered that Damian is in the room and incredibly dubious about all of this. 

“Hmmm, you sure?” Carl hums, then tosses Jon up a good couple of feet in the air before catching him. Jon yelps in surprise and then ducks his head with a giggle; Bruce is just grateful that the kid’s got enough control of his flight to have actually made that look convincing, though he definitely let Carl throw him a little too high. Still, it was well-done. “Alright, alright . . .” 

Carl lets Jon down and picks Lor up again, and Lor squeals excitedly in definitely-Kryptonian pitches that make every single human in the room wince, even Bruce himself. He usually has better self-control than that, but it really is a piercing sound. Just about any human would wince at the sound of it. 

Well, just about any human but Carl, apparently, who just looks even more besotted. Speaking of nursing hormones being a hell of a drug . . .

“God you’re cute,” Carl sighs appreciatively, then lifts Lor into another swoop. Lor squeals again in obvious delight. Which–of course he does. From his perspective, someone’s finally properly nursed him and now that someone is playing with him while putting off unrestrained adoration in their scent, and he’s likely never gotten all of those things from the same person. Between Clark’s milk issues and the parents he was born to . . . no, he definitely hasn’t, Bruce is sure. 

“Got a moment, Timmy?” Bruce asks, glancing to Tim, who startles slightly at being addressed and refocuses on him. He was watching Carl and Lor oddly intently, and his face is still red. They’re definitely going to have to make sure he’s not running a fever. Maybe he should keep him off patrol tonight either way just in case, as a preventative measure. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone upstairs keeping an eye on things anyway, with Carl new to the house and all. Not that the Lane-Kents won’t be here, obviously, but Lois is less combat-trained than Tim, Jon can’t be expected to handle anything dangerous or delicate that might come up, and Clark obviously can’t be guaranteed to be available with the world being as it is. Chances of him having a landslide or earthquake or alien invasion to handle in the middle of the night are definitely more than zero. 

“Um, yeah, sure,” Tim says, clearing his throat awkwardly. Bruce chalks up another potential symptom of him coming down with something. “What do you need?” 

“Can you do us a favor, get us a set of sheets and towels and the like out of the linen closet for Carl here?” Bruce asks. Obviously Alfred would usually handle that for a guest, but it’s a bit less . . . mannerly, with a stray omega. Alfred’s scent would obviously transfer to the linens, even if just slightly, and that might make Carl uncomfortable on some level, even if only subconsciously. First night in a new territory and all that, and really, sleeping in a bed that smells like a strange beta would throw most omegas off either way. An unpresented pup’s scent would be much less affecting than a mature adult's, though, even if Carl isn’t much for pups. 

Though Tim, for some reason, looks actually mulish at the suggestion. 

“Can’t Damian do it?” he asks, folding his arms with a sullen little glower. 

“I am not going to serve an unnecessary servant,” Damian snaps witheringly, folding his own too. Bruce resists the urge to sigh. 

“I can do it!” Jon volunteers eagerly, bouncing up on his toes and throwing a hand in the air. “Um–if somebody can tell me where the linen closet is, I mean . . .” 

“Which linen closet?” Damian asks dryly. “There are seven.” 

“The servants’ quarters closet will do,” Bruce says. It’ll have the right size sheets, for one. “Damian, if you could show Jon where it is . . . ?” 

Jon’s a better option than either Tim or Damian, really, given how well he and Carl have already taken to each other; Bruce just didn’t want to actually suggest him as one. First of all, Jon’s not one of his pups, and his mother and pack’s head omega is in the room and therefore obviously the one who’s currently in charge of him. 

And second of all, he didn’t know how it’d make Clark feel, giving Carl sheets that smell like one of his pups to sleep in. What with everything else, Bruce means.

But if Jon’s volunteering, well . . .

[theficdealer]

Pain

That's what Tim feels when he comes to. All consuming pain.

His abdomen feels like it's on fire. His head feels like someone is taking an ice pick to it. He can feel his heartbeat in his eyes.

"You have the ability to overcome great fear. Welcome to the Green Lantern corps"

—Summary of Green rings and red things (part 36 of Tim Drake AU’s) by siren_of_the_ocean on ao3

In which Tim Drake gets a green lantern ring instead of a splenectomy and the universe is better for it.

(review+rambling below the line)

This fic is 40k words long and i genuinely forget that every time because all I can think is “it’s too short and I want more.” The concept is fantastic, to my layman eyes and a few google searches it seems like the author actually knows their canon shit (well, that and the fact that they have a reacting to cannon series that has continued to be updated for actual years at this point) and have a fixation on tim drake, which is fantastic because so do i. The ending is a bit…abrupt? It’s not bad, it just hits you out of nowhere and leave you wanting more.

Things I Love About This Fic:

Tim “i will do what i want to do or die trying” drake

Tim vs the JL: The Emotional Beat-Down

Tim: *takes one look at the guardians* there’s somethin’ fishy going on around here

Tim: since i had some downtime, i told the ring to tell me everything. /The other earth lanterns: 👀 / Tim: aaand i’m getting the feeling that’s never occurred to you before

Kyle: He’s the enemy! Run!/ Tim: how about instead i stay and politely ask some questions / Kyle: that is literally the opposite of what i told you to do

Kon: *is alive* /Tim: *is having a mental breakdown* / Kon: is this a good time to mention Bart’s here too? / Bart: got something you want to share with the class, timmy?

Stopping here so I don’t seriously spoil anything too badly. Go read it! Or if Green Lanterns aren’t your thing, this author had literally over a hundred other fics you might enjoy! Other favorites include Into the Deep Dark Night (part 75 of Tim Drake AU’s) in which Tim becomes a Russian water spirit(??) undead entity type deal and lives in the sewers, Bat in a Flash (part 17), where Tim becomes a Flash during an accident with lightning, and The worst year of his life (part 40) in which the justice league, the bats, and a few others react to the red robin (2012) run (also good if, like me, you can’t afford the comics and want to get the gist. They’re currently on issue 29 of 90s yj later on, if you’re interested).

(No this is not an add, i just Love this series

[sazorak]

Every Game I Played in 2023, Ranked

I debated moving this list to Cohost (after all these years, the Tumblr text post interface still makes me want to punch a wall) but whatever, here we are! Keeping it relatively short this year.

A lot of the games I played aren't going to be on this list because I don't have much new to say about them (MTG, Dwarf Fortress, Strive, etc), but for those that I do, here's the games I played this year.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

SD Gundam Battle Alliance - 2022 - Steam - ★★★

I really wanted to like this- you know I like me some Gundam- but the experience is simultaneously too thin, too grindy, and bereft of stakes. There's nothing like "oh no we have to preserve the Gundam metaverse from hackers ruining the archived story!" to make me go to sleep.

There's something about the progression system of every "hey, gotta catch 'em all!"-ish Gundam games that is designed exclusively for people who either played these games in the early 00s, or people with addictive personalities. There's been little in the way of evolution. Yeah, the gameplay here is different as a sort of Action RPG, but this is far more Dynasty Warriors than it is say Armored Core.

Just not for me!

... Where's my new Super Robot Wars at damn it?

9. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC - 2023 - Switch - ★★★★

I talked last year about how I mostly liked this game in spite of its many, many issues. The DLC mostly plays to SV's strengths: fun plot and characters, improved open world catching system from Sword/Shield. They also run considerably better, due to a year of opportunity to make things more stable and address bugs.

That said: It doesn't address any of the other issues that have always been there. Open world exploration becomes kind of pointless when you have the ability to invalidate any level geometry. There is such a thing as too much mobility, believe it or not, when you can just jump over everything. At the same time, the ways cutscenes work is soooo slowwwww, to the point that getting through them to the "action" can be quite tedious.

This DLC also continues the unfortunate thing that drives me nuts about all these DLC, that the level scaling is just awful. It basically assumes you have done literally nothing since finishing Scarlet Violet, and not engaged at all with the post game. Which hey, works out for Lil Timmy who is experiencing this DLC in-line with the base game or only after beating it (since it does dynamically scale for earlier progression), but it makes the whole thing kind of a rote exercise for those who actually played the game more than that?

I realize this is multiple decades now of me barking that hey, it'd be nice if Pokemon didn't exclusively try to appeal to 5 year olds, which is definitely a lost cause at this point. We don't even get stuff like Battle Towers or Frontiers anymore really. Ah well!

8. Street Fighter 6 - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★

Ok, here's the thing: Street Fighter 6 is overall a very good game, lots of care and polish, but I got a few bones to pick with it.

1. I kind of hate its input buffer. Just drives me nuts, particularly with how it handles supers and specials with overlapping inputs.

2. World Tour while is neat, the progression of it is so goddamn grindy and miserable. So much HP for enemies as you go on, and you don't have access to a fighter's full skill set even at the very end due to how special "slots" work.

3. The cast feels too safe. I like the new additions a lot, and in general the old chars have been rendered quite well, but there's just not a lot of innovation going on. The system mechanics are quite good, but it's the thing where no one on the cast really calls out to me. Personal taste thing.

Marvel's Spider-Man - 2022 - Steam - ★★★★

I don't think I have anything particularly unique to say about The Spider-Man Experience beyond hey: that's a pretty good Spider-Man. I think the DLC was obnoxious as shit, and a number of the decisions tied to box-checking-completionist stuff were mean for someone like me who has the stupid brain that thinks it's important to do Everything no matter how tedious it is, but overall: a good Spider-Man. Some of the villain stuff felt pretty weak though.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A great remake! They trimmed down some areas a fair but, but none of them particularly egregious (some of them, particularly a last act boss being removed, was quite appreciated), and the mechanical additions are fun.

Does it invalidate the old version? I dunno, maybe?

6. We Love Katamari Re:Roll - 2023 - Steam / Switch - ★★★★★

Hey, you know what's also a very good game? We Love Katamari. Not much new to say beyond hey: the name is accurate, and you should buy and play it. I liked it enough to buy it twice on two platforms, which is silly but it gave me the excuse to play more Katamari so quite understandable.

A thing that does annoy me about the game is them reusing certain models from the other Katamari Remake, even when they were deliberately replaced in We Love Katamari and are even called out as different in the item descriptions despite not being so. Arrgh. It doesn't really matter, but I got the dumb brain for that kind of thing.

5. Granblue Fantasy Versus: Rising - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A fighting game that I enjoyed years past now has actually good netcode! The mechanical additions have been very nice, and I've been enjoying myself grinding away for my meager gains. It's also funny having skipped all the base game's DLC and coming in now, since it's like this release just added 20 more chars I'd otherwise not engaged with before.

A ton of polish has made this a fantastic package across the board, so many smart decisions and little details. I'm sure for GranBlue gacha fans it's probably incredible as something that pays tribute as well.

… but see, my main annoyance with the game mostly ties to being unable to stand the source material it pulls from. It's not enough to diminish my positive feelings for the game, but none the less: man, everything about the lore and characters themselves just does NOTHING for me. This is nothing particularly unique to GranBlue itself even, it's pretty in line with how I feel about every gacha title that exists to roll out chars and appeal to as many niches as possible without real forward movement or actual story, but hey here we are.

Looking forward to that 2B.

4. Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A game I admittedly haven't completed yet (I got up to a certain kidnapping in the last act and had to set it aside due to stuff repeatedly coming up for the past couple months) but still: this is a very good tactical RPG. I enjoy the writing, characters, and gameplay quite a lot. A ton of polish went into this.

I don't think I have much to say about it that hasn't been said by others, especially with all the Discourse that has circled it for months-to-years now across Early Access into release.

If there's one thing that does kind of annoy me about the game design, it's the way the player characters are handled. You have the option during character creator to create a character with a number of character-build-y backgrounds, or use their pre-built characters that have existing stories. This choice is lose-lose.

A fully custom character is blank, unimportant. There's nothing special about them beyond their affinity with a certain orb and being Protagonist Man. Their background doesn't really matter, even as you express your personality. You have nothing behind you that meaningfully comes up or affects the story (no Gorion, etc) beyond your role in the conflict. In other words, there's not a lot of reason for you to exist except as a cypher for the named characters.

Playing one of the named characters also sucks, because you lose those the writing for those characters. If I'm stuck aping Karlach, I have no Karlach in my party. You barely even get voice acting once you choose to play those characters either. You effectively end up with less writing and characterization, which kind of sucks! Yes, you do get your backgrounds being looped in and mattering more, which is indeed something, but not enough.

There is secretly a third option that, the more I think about it, is the correct one, they just don't tell you it. You can choose your character background to be tied to the Dark Urge, which results in a lot unique interactions, gives your character an actual background and comes up, etc. They don't outright make this the main option presumably because it comes with a lot of baggage (which, yeah, it does), but it seems completely worth it by comparison to just flitting through the story as either a ghost or the phantom of a real character.

3. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Remastered - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

Play Ghost Trick.

2. Armored Core VI - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

From Software continues to not miss. Fantastic game, some of the most satisfying mecha combat I've played. Story is great; it's still your usual "oops we're not explaining much other than in medias res or by circumstantial details" that From Soft has continued to double down on, but I really enjoy that stuff so hey. I 100%'d this game, got all the endings etc. Great stuff.

Really want some proper DLC so I can do even more, though.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

Let's face it: this wasn't going to end any other way. Breath of the Wild is probably my favorite game of all time, and this is basically just more of that, remixed and remastered into a Second Quest that builds on the first one.

Something I kept thinking about while playing is that while there is volumetrically more to do, more things happening, more mechanics, etc etc, the different approach it takes in terms of focus and approach doesn't make it necessarily a "strictly better" version of Breath of the Wild.

Breath of the Wild was deliberately spare, quiet, and minimalist. Like the name says, its about the quiet wilderness, a poignant world that you explore. Tears of the Kingdom drops much of that, in many ways turning into a kooky madcap version of BOTW. You don't spent nearly as much time smelling the roses and taking in the scenery, as you're often too busy blasting by using any number of the new movement abilities or combat tools or literal flying machines you can now Nuts and Bolts together.

It's a deliberate escalation, one that in my opinion requires the preceding part to work. They add together into one complete singular experience, rather than pulling against each other. That's awesome, exactly what I wanted. Now I get to have two favorite games of all time that are secretly just one-and-the-same.

Some minor thoughts:

1. Lots of great writing and characterization, built up well on BOTW there.

2. It's kind of funny how much it goes out of the way to avoid talking much about BOTW in case someone plays this game first.

3. The last of a Master mode this time around is kind of a bummer but oh well!

4. The vehicle crafting system and everything about it, including the way it plays into the existing physics system is fucking insane. Absolutely incredible game design. Bonkers.

I'm really curious how the hell they're going to follow these games up. Going back to square-0 from this formula- one that is so built up and diverse, seems like it'd be impossible to me. What the hell could you do? Looking forward to finding out.

[planet-crait]

Wow I am even more off then I realized last episode was 13 I’m on 14? I think? Maybe I should like give the names incase I’m wrong current episode I’m watching is Peace of Pizza. Full disclosed now that we have had a glimpse of Devs life outside of school I’m going to be super impatient to see more.

Ohh Dev is in the title card will we see more of him this episode?

Oh Kindness day. Huh not a bad idea. I mean okay I’ve said this before but doing kind things even for selfish reasons can change peoples mindset and get them to continue to do good things and it works better with younger kids so not a bad idea. I have a feeling though even with the pizza reward getting Dev on board will be a problem.

Oh harsh uh getting everyone to participate or no one gets rewarded. I’ve never been a fan of punishing the entire class for one student or holding back a reward based on one student. It always felt overly harsh.

Hazel knocking the eraser off to pick it up really shouldn’t count lolz.

Okay Hazels impassioned speech while Mr. Guzman just stands their unimpressed is hilarious I can’t lie. And everyone getting all teary eyed. It’s over the top but it’s just so funny I can’t be mad.

Wait wait Dev doesn’t like Pizza??? What is wrong with Dev?? Poor Mr. Guzman that has to be painful like your eye?

Oh Aliens. Huh. Okay I was wondering when Aliens would make an appearance. Oh poor Cosmo and Wanda lolz. Wait how many negotiations have Cosmo and Wanda been to? Also wait pizza in the wrong hands??? I don’t understand? What is dangerous about pizza?

Oh poor Mr. Guzman he was so hopeful and Dev just throwing away an unopened milk he didn’t even drink? Not only mean but environmentally fucked. But like with how bad his dad is I’m not surprised.

Aww Cosmo you’re so cute and them being so in love it so adorable.

I am so invested in the hiding spots Mr. Guzman finds it’s just. So funny seeing where he’s hiding praying for Dev to do something nice. Ice cream pizza that sounds so good oh my gosh.

Uh what’s he going to do? Oh uh so he’s going to be a spoiled brat? I doubt it’ll go well against Dev. Yep just as I expected. Wait what? Uh. Okay? Also Dev is uh really cool with Aliens?

Why is the news there over an elementary school pizza party? I don’t understand? I gotta give props to the news anchor though she uh remained composed despite being hit with a pizza.

Oh my heart hurts a little Dev was so excited he thought his dad came. I doubt his dad was like ever there for Dev when he needed. If they make some sort of joke he wasn’t even there for Devs birth I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Wait why would you offer that switch to Dev?? How many times will that older not Timmy model be used this feels cruel. Ohh poor Pizza guy he’s so sure lolz. But also I feel like the world would be more panicked if all of an item suddenly vanished just. Just a thought lolz.

WAIT WHY DID ALL OF ITALY DISAPPEARED?? Oh Dev is lactose intolerant. Okay I get why he doesn’t like Pizza. Ohhh nice work Hazel. I’m very impressed lolz. And it works!! Look oh Mr. Guzman was so desperate to give him something. And I mean? Positive reinforcement for a good dead even if he caused the issue is a start? Especially with a kid who’s clearly got home life issues he needs all the positivity he can get.

Awww Dev. Thats really so cute. He’s so excited to have it but is still keeping up a mask. I wonder if showing excitement got him into trouble in the past? I also wonder if his dad just. Lied about lactose alternatives not existing? And eating pizza and such in front of him and not bringing lactose alternatives for him? OH! I wondered why Dev would take all the pudding just to give it away. That makes sense. I wonder if we don’t see him eating any pudding in that episode? I may have to go back and check.

I checked I totally forgot he ate the pudding. Either his dad lied about the lactose intolerance thing, this pudding doesn’t have lactose in it or it wasn’t decided til after this episode was done. Not a huge deal in the end lolz I’m guessing that they just hadn’t decided he was lactose intolerant yet when the pudding episode was written and didn’t think about it. Regardless I am curious if Dale just hates lactose free alternatives and lied about their existence so he could have his stuff and not have stuff he didn’t like in the house. Cuz Dev was really upset about being forced to watch his classmates eat and enjoy it, it makes me wonder. Regardless him not knowing lactose free options existed makes me so mad at Dale.

Next episode is A New Dev-elopement and I have heard this has more Dev stuff so I’m kind of excited! Also if I seem to have missed an episode let me know cuz I don’t want to accidentally skip any of em!

[razieltwelve]

An Unconventional Christmas

“I refuse to believe that Santa is a necromancer.”

Timmy looked down – way down – at Katie and gave her a smile so sympathetic she had to fight the urge to kick her master in the shins. She was wearing a pair of fluffy bunny slippers – black, of course, to maximise her intimidation factor – so all she would accomplish was hurting her toes.

“Katie, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.”

“How does it make any sense at all?” Katie reached out with one hand to keep Spot from diving onto the slices of pineapple on her plate. The dragon had been eyeing them for a while now, and his stomach had finally gotten the better of his manners. “Spot, these are mine.”

But there’s no more pineapple left. Despite being a fiery harbinger of doom, Spot managed to make a sound so adorable that she had no choice but to hand over her pineapple. It was amazing how cute he could be when he wasn’t eating bandits or setting pirates on fire. Naturally, he ruined the picture of adorableness by devouring the pineapple with all the grace of a rabid badger. He then turned his attention to Gerald who had been picking at a peach.

Catching the dragon’s eye, Old Man offered him some of his vegetables. Spot responded with a comical expression of horror that drew a chuckle from both Amanda and Daerin. Avraniel, meanwhile, was adding some gravy to her roast beef, but not before slipping a portion to Chomp who trotted off to enjoy his treat by the fireplace. Not far away, Sam had decided to skip dinner in favour of going straight to dessert, which was a Christmas pudding.

“Oh, ye of little faith.” Her master struck a thoughtful pose and took a long sip of his water. She prepared herself for an argument that would be equal parts insane and utterly convincing. He was an expert on toeing that line, as many a merchant could attest to after meeting defeat when attempting to haggle against him. “Let us begin by considering what we know about Santa. First of all, Santa is supposed to be a jolly fat man who dresses quite outlandishly in red and white.”

“That hardly makes him a necromancer.”

“On the contrary, only a necromancer could dress so garishly and pull it off.”

Katie opened her mouth to reply and then remembered what some of the other necromancers had been wearing at the most recent convention. Garish did not even begin to cover it. “Maybe,” she conceded.

“Santa also rides a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.”

But reindeers don’t fly. Spot pointed out.

“Santa’s reindeers do,” her master replied. “And since I’ve never heard of any other magical flying reindeer, there must be something special about them.”

“And how does that prove he’s a necromancer?” Katie asked.

“Let me ask you this, Katie: if you wanted to, could you make flying reindeer?”

“Well… I guess.” Katie rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I mean… reindeers can’t fly on their own, but if you added some pegasus wings, they could fly. Actually, wyvern wings might be better, as long as size isn’t an issue.”

Her master raised one eyebrow.

“Wait!” Katie cried. “The stories don’t say anything about his reindeer having wings.”

“You’re right, but we both know that stories don’t always get the facts straight. After all, look at Spot. If you believe all the stories, dragons are nothing more than merciless engines of doom and horror.”

Katie watched as Spot slithered over to Avraniel to beg for some of her beef. “I guess…” Spot was not doing a very good impersonation of a merciless engine of doom and horror. “What about Santa’s sleigh, then, how would that fly?”

“Maybe he knows a good dwarf,” Daerin said. “My people built a flying city. I’m sure we could throw together a flying sleigh if the pay was right. Heck, with zombie reindeer-pegasi, the sleigh would only have to float. The zombies would provide the propulsion.”

“…” Katie’s eye twitched. She wanted to say that her master’s argument was insane, that there was no way Santa could be a necromancer. Yet, once again, he was showing why he was a Grand Necromancer. He could use his formidable intelligence to discern the most carefully hidden schemes of his enemies… or to argue for utterly ridiculous ideas in ways that seemed ironclad. “How about Santa’s sack full of presents? It would have to be way bigger on the inside than the outside to fit all of the gifts.”

Her master merely smiled and nodded at Gerald.

The bureaucrat blinked. “Huh? What about me?”

“Instead of a magical sack, all Santa would need is someone like Gerald. I’m sure his magic could fit all of the gifts,” her master said.

Katie fought the urge to scream. Her master’s voice was perfectly calm, but there was a teasing glint in his eyes that let her know that he knew exactly what he was doing. “Then how would Santa know if children have been good or bad?”

“Zombie critters. Lots of them. Think about how many people I can keep track of with zombie squirrels and zombie pigeons.”

Katie took a deep breath and then spoke with absolute certainty. “Santa is not a necromancer.”

Her master’s lips twitched. “You’re right. No normal necromancer could be Santa. He’d have to be a Grand Necromancer, one whose ability to command multiple zombies with incredible precision was far above the norm. He would also need to have some like Gerald around, as well as a dwarf with connections to a certain flying city.” He paused. “You see, Katie, the truth is… I’m Santa.”

“…” Katie stared. “You are not Santa.”

“Oh really? Then where did I go wrong with my argument? After all, haven’t you noticed that I disappear for a while every Christmas Eve just before your present appears?”

“You are not Santa!” Katie insisted. “You… you…” The logical part of her mind was trying and failing to come up with a good counter argument. The less logical part was screaming about how her master was only doing this because he thought it was hilarious.

“You’re right.” Her master nodded. “I’m not Santa.”

“I knew it!” she cried.

“Or am I?”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Merry Christmas, everyone. May your Christmas stocking be full to overflowing, and may good tidings and good cheer be all you know.

The characters in this snippet are from The Unconventional Heroes Series.

P. S. Timmy is totally not Santa. The thing Katie missed is that he has no way of travelling fast enough to reach every child in the world. He deliberately left that point for last knowing that his other points would likely distract her enough for her to not notice, allowing him to skip it. Give her a few minutes. She’ll notice the flaw and then leap onto her chair and jab her finger at him. At which point, he’ll argue that Santa is actually a secret cabal of Grand Necromancers working together.

P. P. S. It is possible that Santa is actually a certain cosmic guinea pig. He actually does have the power to pull it off and is precisely the sort of person to do it because he thinks it’s funny.

[thatblondeperson]

Do you think Tim can be considered a victim of sexual harrasment/assault as a lot of girls did surprise kiss him like Steph with the CPR thing, Cissie, and Tam or are people just exagerrating.

To an extent, yes.

Tim has been kissed without being asked by a number of girls and there are more than what I'm about to list.

Darla:

Cissie:

Tam:

And yes, Steph as well, but I'll give a small chronology of their kisses because it irks me to no end that the fandom picked one side in this "toxic ship" debate, negating that Tim and Steph are both perpetrators in the toxicity in their relationship.

Tim kissed Steph first, to her surprise, in Robin #5.

This is what sets off the flirting. Before, Steph does seem to understand that it's a one-sided crush, until Tim kisses her. he does not ask, he does it impulsively.

She then kisses him in Robin #16 to his surprise.

He's not thrilled and she does not ask first before doing this.

Then yes, there's the CPR stunt in Robin #35.

This is fully not okay. But she does make a solid point that no one brings up, in her saying "So it was okay to kiss me". Why don't fans mention that? That this is a toxicity give and take? imo it's the misogyny, but regardless, neither of their actions are okay. No, it was not okay for Tim to kiss Steph, and no, it was not okay for her to kiss him. It's a 2-way street they're both driving recklessly on. They don't discuss their relationship, Tim has a girlfriend, Steph knows he's spoken for, it's clunky and messy and not well written for a while. It gets better when Tim actually gets introspective about his feelings and when they kiss in Robin #44 it's consensual.

And they don't kiss again until Robin #56, one issue before their date, and in this issue Tim does break up with Ari because his feelings for Steph are realized and he wants to be with her.

To try to pick a side in this "who made it toxic?" debate is silly. Tim started it, Steph pursued it, Tim then pursued it back until they got together. Messy.

It's an ugly old trope for girls to just jump kiss the protag/hottie/boycrush in every piece of media. It was very big at the time these comics were published, right in its heyday really. The 80s through the 2000s were rough and we have to look back on it as a problematic product of it's time. Is it sexual assault? Yes. Do I consider these characters to be problematic and toxic and would I call any of them sexual assaulters? No. The writers are being gross and weird here and playing into that teen boy "every girl wants me" (chicks dig the cape...) trope and the girls in question are just tools to remind you that Tim's a Hottie McDreamboat that every girl wants some lip action with. Ugh...

Some more advanced sexual assault? We have to talk about Rose Wilson. Again...writers being gross and creepy, but YIKES.

This is right after Bar5t dies, (can't remember issue, sorry...) and Tim goes back to his room to mourn where Rose is waiting naked in his bed to drunkenly jump him. By being drunk she's not fully consenting either, but Tim has to literally fight her off and cuff her to get her to stop.

The fandom used to pass these panels around as a "teehee Timmy's afraid of boobies!!" joke but like...that's super disgusting and I hope those people understand that this was almost fucking r*pe.

And later when she comes back (again, can't remember issue, sorry...) she's wearing a Robin thong and he ends up shoving her out of his bed which, imo is slightly reasonable given the way she previously acted with him. Why is she trying to fuck his sadness away DC? idfk. But then he takes the fall for it and gets yelled at for hurting Rose and like..I'm over it.

What was their relationship supposed to be????

And then of course there's the whole League of Assassins thing with Timmy ready to produce the next heir.

That "next time on Red Robin" quip makes me gag...

Hey remember that ship that people like? RasTim? The ship where Tim, a 17 year old, is shipped with a grown ass crusty old man who wanted his daughter to r*pe him to produce an heir to the LOA? Remember what a cute and quirky thing that was? Wow, so adorbs. Love wins.

I'm bitter, can you tell?

Tim has definitely been on the short end of the stick when it comes to non-consensual advances, and it's...not good anon. There's not really a way to redeem the creepiness of male comic writers, and I would just love to be a fly on the wall for all these decisions to see why they were made. At the end of the day, it's the whole "sex sells" angle, and for any hetero teen boy who related to Tim, it was to fulfill the fantasy of being Robin, the super cool crimefighter thqat got all the girls I guess...

Just...ew.

Thanks for the ask anon!

[garfinkelstingle]

social media au | timothee chalamet

pairing: timothee chalamet x fem!reader

a/n: hii! wanted to let you guys know right away, since i'm not a super fan of maude's i have no clue what her cats names are and i didn't really find anything on the internet, so for this au's sake i named the cats what i would consider naming my own cats if i ever got any! hope you guys don't mind that too much :) also i have not watched a single episode of euphoria so i hope i didn't do anyone too dirty but sorry in advance if i did lmao

masterlist

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, sydney_sweeney and others

yourinstagram the cat and crazy lady say hi

view all 309,383 comments

yourfan21 dont know who's cuter you or dibbles 🥺

yourfan84 i wish my cat would let me take pictures with her, the second i put a camera in front of her she just starts hissing :(

anguscloud i would like to make it clear that you having a cat isn't what actually warrants you calling yourself a crazy lady

* liked by yourinstagram

euphoriafan02 petition for lexi to have a cat in euphoria simply for the extra y/n with kitties content!!!!!!

tchalamet favorites

yourinstagram not quite sure which one of us misses you more atm

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan73 you two are beyond adorable i honestly cant 😭😭

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, zendaya and 2,392,104 others

tchalamet copycat

view all 283,422 comments

timmyfan62 not timmy remaking y/n's post they really are soulmates huh?????

yourfan19 where's dibbles???

tchalamet @ home with mom

timmyfan03 pls adopt me i'm begging you i promise i'll be good you don't even have to potty train me i swear!

yourinstagram dibbles thinks that i did it better

tchalamet tell dibbles no belly rubs for at least a day when i get back

yourinstagram ok pretty sure dibbles just changed her mind and made you her new favorite human. rude.

callmebyyourfan83 when are we getting cmbyn2 ????? cause i honestly can't wait anymore at this point

tomholland2013 hope you don't mind me for copying the hair mate

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan92 y/n's the luckiest girl on the planet to be dating someone this handsome i mean honestly it should be a crime to be this hot

yourfan01 lol have you seen y/n????? they're both equally stunning, let's just leave it at that

* liked by yourinstagram

elleusa

liked by tchalamet, yourinstagram and 29,394 others

elleusa Spring is officially in the house, so pack your bags and pick some apples with yourinstagram. For ELLE's April issue, the next-gen actress demonstrates the patterns and flows you should be looking out for this spring, and also talks to us all things being in a hit-show like Euphoria and dating someone in the limelight- for three years straight now! Link in bio for the full shot + article!

view all 3,284 comments

yourfan53 oh to be an apple picked by y/n...

timmyfan98 love how kindly she spoke of timmy she really really loves him huh 🥺

yourinstagram had a blast talking to you guys! thanks for having me :)

*liked by elleusa

euphoriafan23 what's everyone's favorite bit from the article and why is it y/n saying that "timothee grounds me in ways i never thought another person could. he gives me peace throughout all the craziness that's happening in my life, and he makes me grateful for everything that has happened so far, even on the bad days, because i never would've met him had i just given up when things started to get hard. i love him for that, and i always will."

yourfan77 i still haven't recovered from that and i don't think i ever will,,, y/n has always struggled with her mental health and timmy really seems to help her cope with so much!!!!!

timmyfan64 what's best is that timothee has also said on more than one occasion that y/n helps him so much whenever he feels anxious and panicky!!! they really are a match made in heaven 🥺♥️

*liked by yourinstagram

sydney_sweeney

liked by yourinstagram, tchalamet and 2,492,194 others

sydney_sweeney bestie <3

view all 201,493 comments

euphoriafan82 so lucky to have you beautiful queens portraying cassie and lexi!!!!!!! love you girls!!!!!

*liked by sydney_sweeney

zendaya ♥️

yourinstagram you're missing from the picture z ♥️

*liked by sydney_sweeney, zendaya

euphoria gorgeous gorgeous girls

sydneyfan82 you two really are the most beautiful human beings ever i am so jealous of y'alls bf's like what do they have that i don't (except for money, looks and successful carreers)????

yourinstagram i'd like to know what i was going for because the wave? definitely in the top 5 most awkward things i have ever done in my life

tchalamet it looks more as if you're going for a high five with yourself lol

yourinstagram did i ask for your opinion? no >:(

tchalamet sorry baby

*liked by yourinstagram

euphoriafan38 season 3 of euphoria when????? need more of you two on screen together asap!!!!!!

entertainmentweekly

liked by yourinstagram and 38,291 others

entertainmentweekly Timothee Chalamet grazes this months cover of Entertainment Weekly and tells us all about what it's like portraying the iconic character of Willy Wonka, having (maybe) one too many cats and trying to keep life as private as possible with his lovely girlfriend Y/N Y/LN. Link in bio for the full article!

view all 1,393 comments

timmyfan27 my boy is looking a little extra fine today doesn't he

timmyfan18 brb gonna go and order a lifesize cutout of the first picture bc i have never seen anything hotter in my entire life

yourinstagram what a fine specimen of a human being ♥️

yourfan39 y/n or #1 timothee chamalet stan?

yourinstagram definitely the latter

timmyfan04 i love y/n but if i ever had the chance to fight her hunger games style knowing that the prize was timmy's love and affection... let's just say i wouldn't hold back

dunefan22 loved the article! very tastefully written :)

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, hunterschafer and others

yourinstagram date night w/ bae ♥️

view all 492,283 comments

yourfan13 how is y/n a solid 25 on a 1-10 hotness scale?????

alexademie hot stuff

*liked by yourinstagram

tchalamet my date > your date

yourinstagram probably, yeah ;)

*liked by tchalamet

yourfan65 bestie you in that dress???? i'm not strong enough for this, i'm really really not... my one true weakness wbk 😔

timmyfan27 actually saw them at carbone's yesterday lol. looked absolutely smitten with each other! didn't take pictures cause i wanted to respect their privacy

*liked by yourinstagram

yourfan18 how is nobody commenting on timothees photography skills???? if my boyfriend would take pictures like this of me i would marry him immediately!!! instead all i get is blurry trash 🥲

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh and 3,281,394 others

view all 231,492 comments

timmyfan36 i still haven't recovered from this look and honestly i don't think that i ever want to

timmyfan94 ladies and gentleman, this is what i call a SERVE!!!!!

yourinstagram i love how you think you're too cool for a caption. like go king give us nothing (literally, since you're not even wearing a shirt) 🙄🙄

tchalamet you're just jealous that you couldn't go because you chose to get sick the day before the oscars

yourinstagram first of all, i didn't choose to do anything 😾 second of all, it's rude that you went out to have fun without me. unacceptable.

tchalamet don't worry, it wasn't even nearly as fun as it would've been had you been by my side love

*liked by yourinstagram

timmyfan82 i know the world is in shambles right now, but looking at this picture of my best boy timmy makes it all that much more bearable 🥺

florencepugh nice shirt ti- oh wait

*liked by tchalamet

yourfan13 really sad we didn't get to see you and y/n walk the red carpet together, but i'm sure we'll get to see it some day soon!!

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, marthahunt and 4,192,495 others

tchalamet forever home

view all 521,394 comments

timmyfan28 i'm sorry i'm not okay because what??????

yourfan05 y/n looks so happy too like yes miss girl it's what you deserve 😭

anguscloud don't tell me y'all got another cat???

yourinstagram the cat limit does not exist, angus

*liked by anguscloud

timmyfan99 you can't even begin to imagine how happy i am that timmy finally found his person and that she makes him so, so happy 🥺 he deserves the world and y/n is really giving it to him

*liked by yourinstagram

yourinstagram forever and always, mon coeur ♥️

*liked by tchalamet

yourfan17 i better be invited to the wedding otherwise i'm throwing hands

timmyfan04 WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT THE NAME OF THE NEW KITTY IS BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KNOW

yourinstagram it's lola!!

timmyfan04 omg queen thank you so much for noticing me and for letting me know i'm genuinely shook rn

[sundropscribbles]

Love Letters | Julian Devorak x OG Female Character | 3K

What's this? The first piece of Arcana fiction I've ever published? 🥰 Given how long I've been invested in this game, now, that probably deserves some kind of celebration. All that aside, though, this little ficlet started as a brain-worm and then developed into something sweet and soft for the absolutely wonderful @timmys-and-scribbles! As such, Julianne (the apprentice in this story) was created by and belongs to her! I hope you all enjoy!

Loving Julian Devorak comes with its challenges.

As it stood, this was quite simply a fact. It had always been common knowledge that the doctor could be a bit of a handful, even despite his good heart and his even better intentions. The things and the situations that surrounded him had a tendency to spiral out of control rather quickly — whether it was an good-natured round of cards at the Rowdy Raven, or an innocent debate with Valerius about some court-related thing or another, chaos had a habit of following Julian.

Now — nobody knew any of this better than Julianne did. Asra had gained a fair amount of experience on the topic, and goodness knew Portia understood, but even still: Loving Julian Devorak came with its challenges, yes, but oh… being in love with him was a challenge all its own.

This wasn’t to say that Julianne regretted falling for her dopey, dramatic, thespian lover; she had never regretted that, not for a second. But, gods, there certainly were some days that were much more trifling than others.

And this… this just so happened to be one of those days.

In Julian’s defense, this particular incident wasn’t exactly his fault. His intentions were just as pure and loving as they had always been. His heart was in the right place. There really wasn’t a damn thing he could do to change the situation - even if he had wanted to. It was just…. well, his handwriting was awful.

She had never thought that it would become an issue, not really; they lived together, and where Julian went, Julianne tended to follow. It wasn’t as though they communicated very much in writing, and she hadn’t even been sure that he had remembered her having claimed to be able to read the letter he had written to Portia years back.

Quite unfortunately for her, though, her lovable ruffian had remembered, and now, he had let his adorable, romantic streak get the better of him.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love his cliches, and his grand, sweeping gestures of romance - because she did. She really, really did. At the moment, though, she was holding what she thought might have been a sweet note, addressed to her from Julian. And that was all well and good. She loved that, but damn it… she couldn’t read it. She couldn’t make heads nor tails of it, and it was downright sad.

Her understanding of the what was written began with what she could recognize as her own name, scrawled near the top left corner, but ended abruptly just beyond that. She could pick out a word, maybe two - “sleep”, “soft”, maybe even “love” - but that was about it, apart from his scrawled signature near the bottom.

And she... she hadn’t a clue what to do about it.

He was going to ask about it at some point, wasn’t he? That was a given. And Julianne wasn’t sure she’d be able to get away with making like she had been able to read it again. Julian knew her better than that, now, and there wasn’t any way he wouldn’t see through the facade in an instant. The next best option would have been pretending she had never found the letter at all, but even that would be difficult. And besides, odds were Julian would only continue to try. He was nothing if not persistent, after all, and…

Gods, she was screwed. Well and truly.

After something close to an hour of fretting and then another hour of debate, she winds up going to Portia for help. She doesn’t come to the decision lightly by any means, but she does trust for the most part that asking for Julian’s sister’s help won’t immediately backfire on her. The youngest of the Devoraks did know how to keep a secret, after all. And anyways, it stood to reason that she’d have been able to read his messy scrawl — that was, if Julian had in fact written her letters as frequently as it’d seemed he had.

It was logical, and sound, and there was a fairly good chance that she could depend on her sister-in-law-to to help her out of this mess. And she had felt rather good about the plan, in the end. That was, until she’d actually turned up at Portia’s cottage with the letter in hand, and Portia had laughed. She had laughed, loudly and merrily, and it had been clear then and there that she would be of no help to Julianne.

“You… you can’t read it either?” Juli had squeaked, defeated once more.

“Gods, no,” Portia had giggled, squinting as she had eyed the letter for a long moment before handing it back to a rather wilted-looking Julianne. “Ilya sent me one, maybe two letters in all of the time he spent away. And even then, I had to have Lilinka help me read them. She was the only one who could ever make any sense of his chicken scratch.”

Julianne only sighs heavily at that, dragging a hand through her hair as her gaze falls to the letter in her hands. She loved and hated it in equal measure, because it really was incredibly sweet, but on the other hand… what, exactly, was she supposed to do about this?

“I’ve half a mind to get in contact with The Hanged Man himself,” she grunts. “Maybe he’ll be able to help me out.”

She’s only half-serious — because asking one of the Arcana for the power to read her own husband’s handwriting is downright silly, and she knows it — but Portia still cackles, dropping onto the couch next to her unceremoniously.

“Have you considered telling him you can’t actually read it?” she suggests with a smirk.

“No!“ she squawks, indignant as ever. “I can’t! That’s — it’s — “ Embarrassing, was what it was. And the last thing she wanted was to admit to it. It was looking more and more like that would be her only option, though, and… damn it.

Portia never stops snickering, not even as she stands from the couch and finds her way into the kitchen (where Pepi has been ‘mewing’ her desire for lunch for a handful of minutes, now).

“Well, you could always distract him with sex,” she suggests with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “Maybe he’ll forget all about it.”

Normally she might have blushed in response to Portia’s teasing, used to it as she may have been. But distracting Julian with sex? That wasn’t a bad idea. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before, anyways, amidst petty arguments and on days she felt like dragging him home from the clinic without a fuss. And so today, instead of blushing, she grins.

“You’re a genius, Portia,” she says, grinning as she stands from the couch and heads for the door — though not before pausing to tug the shorter woman into a one-armed hug.

Portia only laughs harder, and with that, Julianne scurries out the door.

-

Rather luckily for the stubborn magician, Julian doesn’t actually wind up coming home until well after sunset.

It had been a very busy day at the clinic, evidently, and by the time he comes sauntering through the front door, it’s dark out. He looks positively exhausted, and he heaves a thick sigh as he sheds his coat and then ducks to work at the buckles on his boots.

“Darling, I’m home,” he shouts halfheartedly, and Julianne pauses. As it was, she had only just started getting ready for bed. And that was rather lucky, too, she supposed, given her situation. Normally, she’d have slept in something loose and comfortable — one of Julian’s shirts, more often than not — but she hadn’t taken any risks, tonight. No, tonight she had purposefully worn something much more revealing. It was skimpy and soft; the straps were thin and the neckline sinfully low, and the fabric was primarily a lovely, translucent lace. It was a beautiful sage green in color, and it was downright distracting.

Or, well. She hoped that it would be, at least.

She delicately combs both of her hands through her hair — purposefully left down to fall across her shoulders — and with a soft sigh of her own, she wanders down the stairs to meet Julian.

“Welcome home, Ilya,” is what she decides to lead with. He’s not noticed her yet, too busy struggling to remove his obscenely tall boots to have looked up just yet. “Long day?”

His response is a soft groan, as his boots are finally kicked aside. He stands upright a handful of seconds later, dragging a hand through his hair as he nods his agreement. “Very long,” he laments, tugging his eyepatch off and tossing it aside in a manner that clearly indicates his happiness to be rid of it for the evening. “And hardly as exciting as you might assume. Some of these patients, darling, I’m telling you—! I’m not sure how many more times I can tolerate having to explain that there isn’t a cure for allergies, or a common cold. Not even leeches can — oh.”

He’s looked up, now. Smack in the middle of his frustrated rambling, he’s managed to catch a glimpse of Julianne, smiling softly at him and presenting herself just so, and… oh.

“Welcome home, indeed,” he purrs, and immediately strides forward to meet her. His still-gloved hands settle at her waist, first and foremost, and his touch is warm and appreciative as he spends a handful of moments looking her over more thoroughly. “To what do I owe this absolute vision?”

“Oh, no occasion in particular, darling,” she responds, melting right into his touch just the way that she always does. Perfect, she thinks. It’s working, then. “I just thought you deserved something nice. What with that long day of yours.”

One of his hands wanders upward, touching and tracing the length of her torso reverently. He only pauses when the palm of his hand reaches her neck, and the smile on his face grows all the more mischievous as he threads his fingers into her hair and ducks forward to kiss her lips.

“Mm, you spoil me,” he mumbles into the kiss. In the next instant his hands are on her hips, gracefully lifting her up and hauling her in close. Her legs wind themselves around his waist on instinct, and her lips curl into a delighted smile against his as she clings to him. “It’s only fair that I do the same for you, isn’t it?”

It’s not another moment before they’re up the stairs and off to the bedroom, then, and… Gods. It’s a win-win situation through and through. There’s never a word said about the letter, and Julian spends the next several hours doing positively filthy things to her with his tongue and his fingers alike.

It’s perfect, and more importantly, she’s safe.

Or so she thinks.

It’s in the early hours of the morning that Julianne finds herself being tugged in close to her beloved doctor’s chest, peppered in loving kisses and brought to consciousness both by the affection and the warmth of the morning sun.

“Mmf,” she mutters, tucking her face against his neck insistently as she comes to. “Ilya?”

“Good morning, my love,” he murmurs into her hair. It sounds as though he’s been awake for some time, and there’s a hint of a smile in his voice. It makes her smile, too, even as she yawns widely, and then proceeds to groan at the obviously early hour.

“Why’re you up,” she asks, returning a handful of his kisses. “S’too early to be up.” He laughs softly, then, and presses another to the top of her head.

“I was just… admiring, that’s all,” he sighs. His hands wander the length of her back, fingertips delicately tracing the lacy little thing that she’s still wearing. He had never taken it off of her the night before — not at the start, and not as he’d held her beneath him and showed her exactly how much he appreciated it.

She smiles softly as she gathers her wits about her. It’s achingly sweet, and she’s definitely about to respond with some flirtatious quip or another, but he beats her to it before she has the chance.

Though she can’t see it just yet, there’s a hint of mischief in his smile, and it only grows as he speaks. “If all of the silly little notes I write to you result in this, I might just have to do it more often.”

And — oh. Oh no.

She laughs softly perhaps a touch awkwardly at the suggestion. It’s certainly something of a challenge to bite back her panic, but she manages it quite expertly. Her expression is cool and calm as she leans back to meet his eyes, and she even manages to keep a hint of subtle flirtation in her tone as she speaks.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says with a smirk. “Do you really think you could keep that level of charm up for so long?”

Despite her cool, collected facade, her panic only rises. Because oh, Gods — of everything she could have said, she had gone with that?. It wasn’t wise. Not in the least. Julian was as competitive as he was persistent, and — and — fuck. She was fucked.

“Oh, darling, you wound me!” he sighs, as dramatic as ever. He leans in and presses a kiss to her forehead anyways, though, laughing softly as he drops the act. “Still, though… perhaps I did peak with that first one.”

Relief washes over Julianne at that, and she nods her agreement. “Well, it isbest not to overdo it, isn’t it?” she suggests with a smile.

“You may be right,” he agrees with a nod, and she relaxes further at that, because thank goodness. If she could just… casually talk him out of the idea just as quickly as she’d talked him into it…

Quite unfortunately, however, she comes to find out soon enough that her relief had come very prematurely, because another few seconds later, Julian is grinning again. “I’m rather curious, though — did you have any favorite bits? Tidbits I could revisit in the future, perhaps?”

And she… she doesn’t have a good response to that. She doesn’t have an alibi, or a white lie, or an escape route, because in truth? She hadn’t been able to make sense of a single line of the letter. He’s asking her for specifics, now, and she’s got nothing.

“I — er — uhm,” she stammers, clearly floundering. In the midst of her panic, she fails to notice the amused gleam in his eyes — the way that he’s biting back soft laughter as she struggles to put together a response.

“Speechless, are you?” he teases, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Or… perhaps it wasn’t very good after all?”

“No! I — it was! It’s… ah, the way, um — that line where…“ she continues to try, stubborn as ever. Positively refusing to let herself fail.

However, it isn’t very much longer before Julian himself can no longer keep up the act. He dissolves into delighted laughter roughly thirty seconds in, and it stuns Julianne into silence.

“My dear,” he says, once he’s caught his breath. “You could have just told me that you couldn’t read it.”

Julianne makes an indignant noise at that, and the shock in her expression dissolves into something rather more like a comically angry pout as she looks up at him.

“What—! How—“ she begins to ask, but it hits her before she ever gets the question out. Portia. She curses under her breath, and another moment later, she nudges him halfheartedly. It only makes him laugh more, and she grumbles and rolls her eyes at that. “That’ll be the last time I trust your sister with my secrets, then.”

“Come now,” he grins, brushing an errant strand of hair out of her eyes (even though she’s still refusing to meet his gaze). “I thought it was adorable, how hard you tried to be convincing.”

She makes another disgruntled sound at that, though instead of pulling away, this time, she rolls into his arms with a forlorn sigh.

“It’s embarrassing,“ she whines, forehead pressed firmly to his chest. He rumbles with soft laughter, again, and she pouts. “…and to be fair, we live together! I never thought that fib about being able to read that old letter of yours would ever come up again.”

Julian just grins, though, and presses another adoring kiss into his silly little magician’s hair.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he sighs, cuddling her close. “I’d dare say that little fib was downright cunning of you.”

She blinks, raising her head a fraction at that and eyeing him curiously. “…you would?”

He’s still smiling at her, and though the embarrassment of it all hasn’t faded just yet, it’s rather reassuring.

“It got me to talk, didn’t it?” he points out, and she huffs.

“It did,” she admits, and though her tone is still a touch reluctant, the smile on her face is soft and fond.

“And now we’re here. Married and terribly domestic, all because of your embarrassing fib,” he goes on to say, and that’s what breaks her. Her small smile brightens into a grin, and another handful of seconds later she’s giggling, flush with laughter and clinging to him as she nods her head.

“Gods, that… it really is the little things, isn’t it?” she snickers, and Julian hums.

“That it is,” he agrees, giving her a squeeze.

Her laughter settles soon enough, and as she relaxes into his arms once more, she sighs.

“It really was sweet, though,” she promises. “You’ll read it to me sometime, won’t you?”

“Of course I will, darling,” he promises, sealing the words first with a tender kiss to her forehead, and then another to her lips not a moment later. And she’s perfectly content with that, sated and just about ready to sink into another few hours of sleep. Julian, though… Julian has other ideas.

His hands wander toward the small of her back and then dip lower, and his smile grows devious as his touch shamelessly lingers on her ass for a very long moment before sliding toward the backs of her thighs, instead.

“So long as it gets me more of this?” he asks. His tone is low and sultry, and Julianne ignores the slight hitch in her breath in favor of swatting at him playfully.

“Oh, you’re a menace,” she complains. There isn’t any real fight behind it, though, and the moment he laughs and begins to pull away, she moves in closer. Presses him onto his back, and swings a leg across his hips. Indulges him.

She’ll always indulge him, as big a menace as he might be.

And… well, screw it. Love letters were overrated, anyways.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

hello - do you have any dick grayson-centric fic recs?

do i-do i have any dick grayson centric fic recs?? oh babe you have come to the riGHT PLACE. as any of my mutuals could tell you, i have so many goddamn fic recs it’s not even funny anymore. here are some of my personal top favourites:

1. And The World Came Crashing Down by @zhe-angst-diary  ~5k. a fic centered around dick’s self-sacrificial tendencies, especially for the batfam. a bit angsty, very much feels, a tad ooc, but i really did love it

2. bad signal by @prismatic-et-al 38k. the plotfic to end all plotfics. this author is one of the most brilliant dc fic authors i have ever come across, and the way they weave this dark, mysterious story is nothing short of ingenious. i was on the edge of my seat the entire time. again, brilliant.

3. Breathe In, Breathe Out by @kirazalea ~20k. this woman is one of my all time favourite writers for just some really really good stories about the batfam working through and overcoming their issues. this series is comprised of 2 fics that deal with the batfam discovering how much of an impact other people’s blatant sexualization and dehumanization of dick does to him, and how, over time and with help from his family, he picks himself up and starts to defend himself. really just a wonderful series

4. Declensions by @dustorange 13k. the best rom dick grayson fic to ever exist ever. you ever look at dc making dick romani and how they fuck up all the time and think “this could have had so much potential?” this work of art tackles that issue and creates something spectacular. each line of this fic had me screaming with joy. the robin cape symbolism? beautiful. i reread it all. the. time.

5. Don’t by @haunt-the-stars ~4k. do i have too many fics on here about dick dealing with + recovering from sexual assault and rape? probably. do i care? no. this fic takes a dive into trauma and how it can affect victims. it was absolutely heartbreaking, but also has the actual best wally + dick friendship i’ve ever read ever. seriously. if “wally west is a Good Bro” could be condensed into one fic, it would be this one. 

6. the fit of the cowl by @quillium ~4k. some people could argue dick was the best batman. other could argue the cowl only hurt dick. still others say dick could’ve been a much better batman if was better written. regardless of your opinion, you should definitely read this fic. it delves into the different reactions the batfam have to batman!dick. the family dynamics in this one were super interesting, and it’s always wonderful to read a fic about dick grayson  but from someone else’s eyes

7. Hard Truths and Other Realities by @ckbookish  ~108k. a series about dick feeling lost after being fired from robin and eventually finding his way again. featuring very very much wonderful uncle clark, and bruce isn’t an asshole, he’s just a worried dad that fucks up a lot but tries his best to make amends. also, dick bonding with jason. it basically takes you through that time period from the end of dick’s robin to him solidly affirming himself as nightwing and starting to forgive bruce. a really cool take on canon, loved this series!

8. Job Performance by @i-just-want-to-destroy ~3k. ohhhhhh dear god does this fic give me the feels. set during s1 yj, it shows what being a vigilante since the grand age of 9 does to someone, how much it hurts dick to compartmentalize, how much he doesn’t even realize it. this fic leaves you with a sense of “wow. this child. he’s really fucked up.” in a heartwrenching way.

9. a soft place to land by @bluebeauregard 3k. the best dick + tim being brothers fic i’ve ever read. people like to expand on his gradual acceptance and love of jason, people go batshit crazy over him practically parenting damian. and while i do love those, dick and tim had the best canon sibling relationship in the comics (at least, in pre52). this fic takes that and runs with it, and it’s so goddamn unique. i have literally never read this idea anywhere, so i was blown away by both the fic and the way the author wrote it. 

10. touch starved by @iwhumpyou ~4k. we’ve all seen fics where timmy’s touch starved from not receiving much affection from his parents growing up and the rest of the batfam smothers him in hugs. but what i really want is a fic where dick’s the one touchstarved because he grew up in the goddamn circus where everyone was close, but ever since he came to live with bruce, he’s been starved of the affection he used to so freely get, because his entire family is most certainly not the touchy-feely type. and for added angst, he doesn’t do anything about it because he knows his family has issues with trust/intimacy and he wants to make them as comfortable as possible. anyway apparently that fic exists and it’s this one read it and sob with me will you?

11. you gotta tip on the tightrope by Anonymous 12k. for people that don’t actually know much about comics canon and why exactly dick went undercover at spyral, this fic is absolutely wonderful. it shows the lead up of events that led to dick faking his death and leaving, and why exactly he chose to listen to bruce. (i’m using “chose” liberally here). plus, sibling bonding!! specifically with jason!

12. young volcanoes by @dottie-wan-kenobi 3k. i haven’t read this fic in a while, so i don’t remember some of the finer details, but i do remember loving it. also i have it bookmarked on ao3 with the tag “THIS!!!!!!!” so that counts for something. this fic focuses more on dick’s relationship with the titans rather than bruce or the jl, and centers around what their friendship has done for dick/how it’s helped him, and how much he loves them. a wonderful team fic. 

anyway, i hope you enjoy these babe!! these fics are all so so incredible, and i just want to give all of these amazingly talented authors one big incredible hug. 

[boldlyanxious]

Post Op

Part of meet cute Mondays

Masterlist

Marinette could ignore the dark and crime ridden nature of Gotham on days like today. There had been a light rain early in the morning but the sun was shining bright and had even made a rainbow over the gargoyles. Plus the farmers market was delightful today. It's the little things in life she looked to when the world, or city, could often seem bleak.

But there were always characters that made her question that. She wasn't sure if that was exclusive to Gotham or if she just noticed more now that she was a little older. Maybe she missed seeing the dark side of strangers as a child and teen in Paris. This person in particular seemed more overly friendly and possibly confused instead of sinister or creepy.

"Strawberries? Excellent," he said referring to Marinette's selection. "Some of the zucchini as well."

Marinette turned to him surprised as he added them to her pile and then paid. He did not seem homeless. He was well dressed, in clean clothes, and smelled clean. He picked up her bag and guided her to the next stall.

"What are you doing?" Marinette asked.

"I think we should get cantaloupe. You like that right?"

"I guess so. But-"

"Oh wow! A Nightwing plush. I think that is handmade. Exceptional job on his exceptional butt. Let's get that too."

"But I'm not--"

He cut her off again. He kept excitedly switching topics and finding other things to buy. Marinette wondered if she should just go back and get new strawberries and head home but she was somewhat worried about him. He had a brace on his shoulder and a hospital band on his wrist. She couldn't get a good look at it with the bags but she did see surgery on the wristband.

She didn't think he was supposed to be alone but she didn't see anyone who appeared to be missing him. Eventually she asked him which way he came from but he seemed slightly confused. He thought he was supposed to be helping her home. She wasn't sure what else to do with him so she started walking that way and hoped she would find where he belonged.

"Dick! There you are. Why didn't you stay in the car?" Another man asked as he ran up.

"Timmy, hi! We were at the farmers' market. Do you have a knife? I want to eat the cantaloupe."

"I'm so sorry, miss. He was supposed to stay in the car while I went into the pharmacy." He turned back to Dick.

"He was fine. It was weird at first but I figured he got separated from someone."

"He shouldn't even be holding all this. He just had surgery."

"It's fine, Timmy. I have everything on the good side. The only thing I need in this hand is her number."

Marinette laughed nervously at that. The caretaker gave him a look that he either missed or ignored so he could continue smiling at her.

"Very smooth, Dick."

"I'm pretty sure I have a shot. Did you see her Nightwing plush? She likes his butt and have you seen my butt? It's way better."

Marinette was no longer sure how to react. She didn't think he realized that she could hear him when he wasn't talking directly to her. Fortunately she was saved from needing to respond by their arrival at a car. She didn't really know what to do about the purchases. He had paid for the things but he had taken her bag. Tim seemed to realize the issue and stopped to sort out the division of items. He didn't care that Dick had paid.

Dick insisted that she take the Nightwing. Of the other things he was really only fixated on the cantaloupe until it came time for them to go go their separate ways and he reminded her to give him her number. She wrote it down with a laugh, figuring he would forget about the whole thing anyway.

Taglist

@theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @trippingovermyfeet | @tbehartoo | @adrestar | @zynna | @technicallyburninggarden | @iloontjeboontje | @certainmuffinbagelcalzone

[pallasperilous]

Boneless Wings

 {AO3 version}

So, blah blah blah, it’s their standard-issue disaster: pack of dumbass witches (always with the dumbass witches. Where do they find the time for this shit? Somebody get these women signed up for a Peloton subscription or a macramé class or a vibrator of the month club, seriously, whatever it takes—), ancient curse, Castiel being the actual angel of stepping in it, nobody cares. 

The point is, two hundred and forty-one hours of binge-worthy drama later, Dean and Cas are living in a semi-detached just a short thirty-minute commute to somewhere equally lame, Castiel has two literal-ass wings, and yes, Susan, they kiss now. 

The neighbors are weirdly cool with it. 

For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend* with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome.

This is not that list.

(*you can just shut right the fuck up , Sam, because it’s either this or Dean will start saying lover. And nobody needs that. Nobody wants that.)

1.  Bird mites. Holy shit. 

 2.  Sharing a bathroom. The shower curtain rod, and consequently the security deposit, are early casualties. The medicine cabinet follows swiftly behind. Shower hijinks are not even an option.

 3.  Dean comes home one day from a gig and there is a giant plastic green turtle in the backyard. A closer inspection reveals that the turtle is actually a mule for about half a truck bed of industrial dust ‘n grit. It is, in fact, a kiddie sandbox. Dean points out that they do not, in fact, have a small child (FINGERS CROSSED), so...?

Cas then earnestly shows him an entire playlist of exotic birdy dust bath videos on Youtube. 

Dean then earnestly shows him the garden hose. 

4.  The down just gets, like...everywhere. EVERYWHERE. How many times have Sam and Dean practically sold their kidneys for a single angel feather for some dumb spell to solve some pointless Occult McProblem? And now Dean is picking them out of his damn teeth every morning. (No, gross, not because of... Jesus, no, that is not a thing.)

On the upside of this one, Dean finally has an excuse to buy a Dyson, which he’s secretly always thought looked awesome. It is. 

 5.  When Dean is scraping out the umpteenth canister of fluff he jokingly suggests they use some of it to supplement the tragically flaccid down comforter currently shaming their bed, and Castiel pitches an existential fucking sulk. Dean wants to experience happiness again, so he does not point out that it get ass-bitingly cold here this time of year, and decent bedding is not exactly inexpensive, and the Dyson kind of maxed them out on household purchases.

But whatever.

 6.  Castiel is indulging in what Dean thinks of as a sky pout when he flies right into a head-on with li’l Timmy NextDoor’s new Christmas surveillance drone. It dings the shit out of one of Cas’s left primary feathers (the scientific term is “those big motherfuckers”), which apparently hurts like a bitch. Cas is grounded for a few weeks after that and is cutely pathetic about it and at first Dean is absolutely down to kiss it better. By the end, Dean is almost ready to strangle Cas with his own necktie, but he has learned a lot of surprisingly interesting stuff about ancient Mesopotamia, like that it was super horny.

 7.  After the snow melts, Dean starts finding shit on the front step with the morning paper. It’s not even a good newspaper; Cas signed them up for the local fish-wrapper (or maybe it was Sam, before he fled for the hills— he occasionally breaks out in a  “support local journalism” rash). The crossword puzzle is insulting, but the paper does at least syndicate Carolyn Hax, whom Dean secretly suspects of being an absolute wildcat in the sack, so he grudgingly expends the calories to bring it in every morning. 

Anyway, at first the stuff he discovers crapping up the welcome mat is just shiny bits of trash — couple granola wrappers, some MGD pull-tabs, a few field-stripped twisty-ties. Probably just windblown, and he tosses it in the garbage can. 

Then a couple weeks in, things start getting...grisly? It escalates real slowly, from a variety platter of mouse bits to squirrel à la power line and then half of a dry-aged raccoon and an opossum that has recently graduated from playing dead to professional dead-being. The neighborhood crows obviously love that their front step is now a roadkill café; Dean has to bat increasing numbers of them away with the kitchen broom in order to relocate their horrible snack to the edge of the nearest storm drain.

Then one morning there are like twenty crows and they’re in just the cutest little football huddle-up around what turns out to be a human fucking finger with a retro-fun mood ring still on the knuckle (it’s feeling: Sad) and Dean fully loses his shit. 

Cas hears him freaking out and comes whomping out of the garage ready to, whatever, flap somebody to death maybe, but as soon as he establishes that Dean doesn’t need anything more than a fresh pair of boxers, he de-poofs a bit and assesses the whole human finger/crows situation in his usual infuriatingly unrushed way. The crows had mostly bounced up to the cable line over the house, safely out of brooming range, but one by one they start to drop down and hippity-hop back towards the world’s tiniest crime scene.

If Dean were five percent less freaked he’d be tempted to go inside and find out how much of a dent he can make in a six-pack before Castiel finally dings and spits out his results, but he isn’t, so he just stands there in silence clutching the broom like it’s a shotgun.

Eventually Cas says “hm,” and then he looks at the crows and makes some noises that sound like a spoon caught in a garbage disposal, and the crows make some scrawps and chuks back, and then one of them delicately noodges the tip of dead finger with its beak and then hippity hops back a foot or two, bows, and then they all fly away over the shitty little beige duplex across the street like they’re running ten minutes late to an important bird appointment.

Castiel stands up (Dean reflexively backs up into the doorway, as this involves Cas bomfing out his wings a bit for ballast and Dean has caught a blow to the nuts on more than one occasion), dusts off his goddamn slacks, pulls a plastic evidence baggie out of thin goddamn air or maybe his socks, and casually bags the finger like they’re doing a standard FBI wheeze. “So what,” Dean says, as Cas diligently zips the baggie, “the fuck?”

“Oh,” Cas says, blinking in surprise that Dean is still there and interested, “they think I’m their god.”

Dean kind of stares back at him, the six feet of dude and like sixteen feet of bird, and thinks sure, okay, but his face must still be stuck on “Tippi Hedren attic scene” because Cas puts a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder and adds “Don’t worry. I’ve told them I don’t require further offerings, and I reassured them that you’re my consort and were simply jealous of other potential mates.”

It takes Dean two weeks to come up with a response to that, but by then it’s become evident that no bird is ever going to shit on the Impala again, so he decides to just chalk it up in the win column and move on.

You know. The family business.

8.  No matter how tightly he folds them, Cas can’t fit his wings through the definitely-not-up-to-code doorway of the wood-paneled family rec room in the basement, so Dean claims it as his man cave and dubs it the “No Fly Zone.” 

Castiel doesn’t find this funny, but Dean really only uses it to fold laundry. 

 9.  Transpo is an obvious issue. Cas can almost stuff himself into the Impala if he sort of reverse-cowgirls the back seat, but then the wingtips smoosh up against the windshield and Dean’s visibility is approximately zip. And, sure, Cas could fly himself anywhere they really needed to go, he’s basically a Chevy Of The Air, but sometimes it’s raining, and the seraph Castiel — Shield of God, Heavenly Soldier of the Lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, will smell like a wet fucking chicken for days afterward. Febreze does not help.

Dean spends a few nauseating weeks contemplating the purchase of — and here he learns that the human gag reflex can be conditioned, but never truly eradicated — a convertible. Once Cas brings up the possibility of a minivan or perhaps a station wagon (he’s taken to studying family motor vehicles with all the intensity of a birder with a life list) and Dean makes him sleep on the couch.

Dean gets his own living room rotation after he shows Cas a Craigslist posting for a very reasonably priced horse trailer. Castiel points out that it’s used and Dean notes that neither of them is exactly mint in original packaging either. Castiel points out that he’s not a horse, and after a few necessary but admittedly unoriginal jokes, Dean pulls up a website with an exhaustive photographic tutorial on how to convert a horse trailer “for the safe and sanitary transport of ostriches, emus, and/or cassowaries.” Cas points out that he’s not an ostrich, emu, and/or cassowary, and Dean counters that he clearly isn’t, because an emu would probably show a little more gratitude, and that’s how Dean learns that the couch has a broken spring under the left cushion. The transpo issue remains unresolved.

 10.  Dean keeps a pair of shop-grade safety goggles by his side of the bed. It’s not the sexiest look, but it turns out feathers are stabby as hell when encountered at a particular angle. Cas can do the healy thing, of course, but they learn the hard way that cornea perforation is not really a mood enhancer. On the bright side, Castiel accidentally corrects Dean’s incipient presbyopia, which means Dean doesn’t have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length anymore when he’s idly speculating what Carolyn Hax looks like below the neck. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

 11.  You’d think that, when you’re coming down from a time-limited but incurable curse that makes you feel like every cell of your body has its own cute little individual headcold — because you missed a hex bag due to the fact that you were preparing your legal response to Sam turning up to the hunt wearing a goddamn hair scrunchy, as if he were fresh off the set of a very special episode of Clarissa Explains It All — anyway, you’d think that being wrapped in the warm embrace of an angel’s wings would be nice. 

But you would be wrong, because apparently your boyfriend has been out communing with the bees again, and those feathers pick up ragweed pollen like it’s their goddamn job, and guess what else angels can’t cure? Dean will take Motherfucking Seasonal Allergies for 600, Alex. 

12a.  One of the neighbors has that homesteading hippie brain disease that drives an otherwise normal-seeming person to brew their own beer and raise a bunch of chickens despite living within five hundred yards of a fully functioning Hy-Vee. There’s a week where one of the wee little velociraptors seems to be processing some kind of trauma because it starts yelling at dawn and keeps going until well past the hour that swearing is allowed on network TV. 

When Dean finally hammers on the front door the next afternoon the neighbor apologizes with some extremely nasty home-brew (HIPPIES) and some absolutely devastating weed (HIPPIES!) and explains that “Ginger is going through a rough molt” and then he kind of nods his head towards Dean’s side of the fence where Cas is futzing around in the squash plants and stage whispers (this is a direct quote) “You know how they get.”

Dean is about to rip the dude a new one for comparing his immortal space-kaiju lover to a fucking Australorp yard pullet when Castiel pops his head up over the white pickets and breezily contributes “Bad molt, yes, those are terrible, Dean can tell you all about how insufferable I am those weeks,” and sometimes Dean just doesn’t know why he even tries.

 12b.  The less said about angel molt, the better. 

Seriously, the freakin’ eyes-on-his-hands naked mole rat dude from, whatsit, Pan’s Labyrinth of Subtitles, would run screaming from this shit. 

 13.  There’s a 4th of July BBQ Potluck Block Party and Dean’s inability to stand idly by while good meat is abused ( shut up Sam ) means he winds up manning the grill and dismissing the pretenders to set some strictly inedible things on fire. Cas hangs out next to him and uses his flappers to kinda whupf the smoke away from Dean’s eyes now and then, which rules. It’s actually a pretty chill event until Sharon and Don From Number 4267, The Green House With The White Trim, turn up with a giant Pyrex full of naked, still-marinating teriyaki wings. 

Sharon And Don look down at their wings and then up at Castiel and then down at the wings and then up at Castiel and they are clearly teetering on the edge of a Midwestern politeness failure-based nervous breakdown. But then Cas, smooth as a margarine commercial, gently takes the dish from Sharon’s frozen hands, examines the contents for a silent moment, and says “it’s alright. They weren’t personal friends.”

He gets an extra burger for that one.

 14.  Cas keeps absent-mindedly trying to groom Dean — who, in case it still needs to be said at this point, possesses zero-point-zero feathers of his own — so he goes after Dean’s hair, instead. Dean has to stop him after his second hour of trying to straighten out a cowlick. “I don’t understand how you can steer properly with this deformity,” Cas says, as if it’s a genuine miracle that Dean isn’t constantly careening over ottomans like Dick Van Dyke. He’s even more horrified by Dean’s (frankly minimal) use of hair gel. “Jesus, Cas, it’s not like I’m drinking it,” he says, but then one time they have an epic make-out session shortly after Dean performs his masculine beauty rituals and there’s some smearage of various types of Product (tm) on the flappy areas. 

And, sonuvabitch, for the next six hours Cas is spirographing around the house like he has a heavenly inner ear infection, and he only stops veering into the doorframes after Dean wipes down every. Single. Feather. With mineral oil and about eighteen clean shop cloths. Dean switches to something called hair wax, which costs thirty zillion times more per ounce and makes him smell vaguely like church, but is a lot less gloppy. The things we do for love.

 15.  Seating inside the house is a bit of a conundrum, too. Cas can kind of flop his wings out to the sides if he sits in the middle of the couch, but then Dean’s stuck on the recliner, which is basically in the next county. Bar stools are disastrously tippy, Dean’s lower back and hips have not endured mumble-mumble years of hunting just to be subjected to a damn beanbag chair, and, after a brief flurry of optimistic excitement, Dean determines that they’d have to take the front door off to get a massage chair in. He finds a swing online that if, he can get the hardware properly installed in the crossbeam, is rated for up to 500 pounds, so he texts Cas the URL so he can check out the specs. After half an hour he writes back —

CASTIEL: Dean

CASTIEL: I believe this swing is intended for sexual congress.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: I can infer from the ellipsis that you have spent several minutes attempting to draft a response.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: Dean

DEAN: it’s multipurpose

  16 . On the plus side, though, big-ass wings make for a pretty good drying rack. He can get every sock in the house laid out on those suckers in a single round and, one episode of Dr. Sexy later, they’re perfectly dry and toasty warm, without any of the pair-busting casualties Dean has learned to expect from the apparently socknivorous dryer in the basement. 

Dean assumes it’s just the product of good air circulation and body heat until he realizes that he hasn’t had to toss a pair for being too worn out in...maybe six months? So he asks Cas “Are your wings... healing the socks” and after an entire Abbott and Costello routine centering around heal versus heel, Dean determines that the answer is: yes, his boyfriend’s wings are channeling the almighty power of Heaven to magically repair the socks Dean buys at Target in twelve-pack bags. On sale.

This is actually kind of sexy, if Dean is being perfectly honest, so, you know what? It doesn’t belong on this list.

 16.  So nobody really freaks out or bursts into tears or calls the news or the FBI or anything when Cas goes out in public with him, which Dean is secretly a little disappointed about, because come on. (Maybe giant wings just reads as a gay thing? Was there an episode of Will and Grace about this that Dean missed back when he was ass deep in wendigos or something?)

But no. Dudes tend to just glance at them across the Home Depot parking lot, throw them the Mutual Dude Acknowledgement Nod, and say some shit like “Comic-con,” or “nice anime” in a knowing tone. Then they go back to rolling their carts full of gaskets or hammers or whatever back to their mom’s station wagon. 

Little girls tend to go googly-eyed — Castiel seems to fall into the same category as a Disney princess, despite the stubble and the drabcore wardrobe, and Dean can’t count the number of times some mom has approached Dean at the grocery store (like he’s Castiel’s manager?? Which, okay...yeah, actually) and asked if they do birthday parties. The money would actually be pretty tempting if Dean weren’t five thousand percent sure that Cas would get them both arrested by launching into an anatomy lesson about duck sex or how God is a loser who favors relaxed fit jeans and Wild Turkey.

The worst is white ladies of a Certain Age, and it always seems to happen in the pudding aisle, for some reason. They either go cross-eyed with horniness and become indiscriminately handsy (Dean can’t blame them for the impulse, but also back off, Karen), or ask Cas for prayers for their cat’s chronic asshole problems (which Castiel WILL take seriously). 

Worst of all is when some hippie spinster clocks them. This woman inevitably reaches right for the feathers and asks in a willowy voice if they’d ever consider turning some of them into dreamcatchers to sell at her studio, which is literally always named The Faerie’s Glen. Then Cas gets confused about why, exactly, a sixty year-old WASP in a peasant skirt would need to call on the infant-protection powers of an Ojibwe spider goddess, while Dean just wants to bite the lady’s fingers off. 

Either way, it’s always a bad scene, and many fully loaded grocery carts have been lost to the fallout.

17.  For some metaphysical reason Dean is too dumb to suss out but also too smart to question, lugging a pair of Cessna-sized flappers around this mortal dimension actually seems to tucker Cas out. He doesn’t need to zonk out every night, but he semi-regularly throws in the towel and actually crawls in with Dean for the duration. 

This would be swell in theory, but the guy absolutely cannot settle the fuck down in less than three (3) human hours, which is the exact amount of sleep Dean requires to maintain his famously sunny demeanor. It’s not just ye olde tossing and turning — Dean can handle that, sharing a bed with Sam is like sleeping next to a kangaroo with restless leg syndrome — no, it’s a nonstop parade of little flippy-flappies and shiffle-shuffles and spontaneous outbursts of preening. 

So Dean makes him a Baby Sleep Sack. 

This is something Dean knows about due solely to one super dumb hunt involving a banishing sigil that had to be drawn in — he still feels like this had to be a misprint — human breastmilk, and that was obviously not happening. But the monster of the week wasn’t going to banish itself, so they wound up at the nearest Walmart, at 4am, picking up what turned about to be an unnecessarily generous supply of baby formula, along with a fresh box of shotgun shells because God bless America*. It doesn’t work, although “lots of stabbing” turns out to be a solid fallback plan, but the point is that while Sam was debating between Digestion Support or Neurological Development, Dean acquired an unprecedented familiarity with some of the products currently available to the sleep-deprived parent. So Dean finds some DIY Baby Sleep Sack knockoff patterns online and determines he can replicate and scale up the concept with some beach towels and duct tape, and the next morning he presents the lumpy but totally functional prototype to Castiel. 

Initially Cas thinks it’s a sex thing (reasonable, it probably is), but once they clear up that misunderstanding, he’s obviously a little peeved by the concept of being swaddled as if he were a gassy baby instead of a deathless sky monster in a sexy dude-shaped can. But Dean must be giving off some serious man on the edge vibes because Cas grudgingly agrees to let Dean tape him up the next time he’s feeling dozy. 

It’s real awkward and takes forever to get Cas bundled up right, and then he’s just kind of lying there on top of the sheets, like an enormous, grumpy baked potato. 

“I could easily break out of these restraints,” he says in a pissy tone after Dean has crawled in and turned off the light, and Dean rolls over to tell him “no shit”, but then he has to stop himself because the guy is already asleep.

Eventually they upgrade to a version made out of some of those trendy weighted blanket things, a few yards of parachute silk, and a whole lot of velcro. The dude looks so damn peaceful that Dean is honestly a little jealous.

*he doesn’t, actually. 

 18.  There’s a sunny afternoon that isn’t the usual Kansas is trying to murder you level of humid so Dean rolls the Impala out into the street for a wash. Cas helps him out a bit initially, although tragically not in a way that involves removing any unnecessary articles of clothing, but Deans sends him to grab a new tub of wax from the shed and he never comes back. After half an hour Dean needs a beer break and goes looking for him, expecting to find Cas lost in thought over whether Turtle Wax is made of actual turtles, or is made to put on actual turtles. Instead he finds Cas crouched on the shimmering pavement at the back of the driveway, sun beating down on him like it has a personal vendetta, and he’s got both wings stretched out real low above the ground. Dean kind of flips out because it’s the type of pose that just screams “stabbed in gut by angel blade” or “migraine from Hell, literally.”

Then Cas looks up, which pulls his wings up a smidge too, which in turn reveals that fully half a dozen neighborhood cats are lounging in the shady patch beneath his wings, spread out on the concrete like blobs of furry peanut butter. No, it’s actually eight cats. There are eight cats.

“Ling-Ling was feeling a little overheated,” Cas says, as if this explains everything. 

And, you know what, at this point, it does.

 19.  Dean has faith that eventually Sam or Cas or the third demon from the left in the second row will turn up a solution for the whole business. Castiel will get to tuck those bad boys back into the secret wing-closet dimension and he won’t have to worry about getting stuck in stairwells anymore, or being reported to the FAA (again). Then they can finally pack up the house, plaster over the more egregious spots of drywall damage, and go back to killing things outside of the tri-county area. The whole thing has been a pretty embarrassing interlude for a couple of dudes who’ve kicked Satan’s ass multiple times — Sam is probably telling other hunters that they’ve been deep undercover to take out a nest of suburban vampires, or a pack of ghouls with mortgages, instead of vacuuming angel down out of the AC unit and considering a Costco membership. 

And sure, there have been some...serious pluses to the situation (see: the other list), but, in his weaker moments, Dean has to admit that he’s kind of going to miss some of the goofy, irritating shit, too — like finding a six-inch feather in the veggie crisper (how? why?), or watching Cas fwap his wings out just in time to accidentally clothesline a jogger, or even the strangely compelling, sorta cheesy smell that starts to float around the house if Cas goes a little too long between hosedowns. 

He has actually grown fond of this shit. Which is 100% the least sexy thing on earth, it’s some genuinely, seriously pathetic goo goo crap, and that’s why nobody will ever hear a fucking word about it. People will ask “so what’s it like, with the wings” and Dean will waggle his eyebrows suggestively and review the highlight reel over an inadvisable amount of rail whiskey. His secret’s safe with, well. Him.

 20.  Seriously though, the bird mites. 

Gross.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Downward Descending

the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and every villain is the hero of his own story. 

Justin Hammer didn’t consider himself a good man. 

Kind? Yes. But not good.

aka thanks, commenter, I blame the plot twist my brain came up with on you because I had zero inspiration for this AU up until I saw your comment

probably won’t make sense if you didn’t read part one to this mess and heads up, the protagonist becomes a villain here. Under the cut because it ran away on me, again.

.

Above all things, Justin Hammer was a realist. 

Kind of hard not to be, considering; between their [fading] memories of another world, and the life they’d been stuck with this round as the heir of Hammer Industries, they’d never really had a chance to get their head in the clouds.

Other people could dream of a better future, and he really did wish them all the best— but in the meantime, he had work to do.

.

Justin didn’t understand these people. 

Sometimes, he wondered if he ever would.

.

Justin didn’t think much of his family: oh, sure, they were loaded, but...well, for obvious reasons, he didn’t think very highly of some— okay, most— of their parenting choices.

Look, some people just aren’t meant to be parents, okay? But at least they try and give a damn.

These guys didn’t even bother.

Not when their heir turned out to be a normal kid instead of a once-in-a-generation child prodigy and genius [no hard feelings, though, Stark]. 

Eh. Whatever. 

Might’ve been for the best, actually; at least it was him and not some other poor kid who got stuck with dealing with all the crushing expectations and comparisons to a frankly impossible ideal, and at least they didn’t try to pull any of that shit with his little sister because if they had then...he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done, but it would not have been pretty.

[they were an older sibling twice over. some things were etched into their soul.]

.

It wasn’t like Justin had set out to quasi-adopt just about everyone remotely his age, okay? It just sort of...happened. 

Okay, look, it’s not his fault everyone his generation looks like a kid to him, they’re all brats and for some reason, all their parents came in different flavors of shitty because their IQs were sky-high but their collective emotional intelligence wouldn’t have filled a teaspoon so looks like it was up to him to step up.

Look, it made perfect sense at the time!

.

Sometimes, it’s funny how Justin is the most mature person in the room. Other times, it’s just pathetic.

Especially when it’s two grown men half a second from duking it out while in public, like they weren’t supposed to be setting an example for their kids.

Justin couldn’t help his dark look at the spectacle, even as he ushered Stark and Pym to the buffet tables on the other side of the room, all the while trying to keep the conversation light. He didn’t really have the time for hobbies, not with all the private tutors his parents kept foisting on him, but it was still nice to hear what other people his age got up to. 

...unless said kid was Stark, in which case they all got regaled with an overenthusiastic spiel on something that went way over Justin’s head but hey, he’d had plenty of practice nodding along to Steph’s chatter so this was nothing.

.

Looking back, it’s kind of sad how something as simple as giving half a damn was enough for Stark to consider them lifelong friends.

Even sadder, because Justin hadn’t even realized it at the time; he’s just been his usual self.

But apparently, that was enough for some people, was significant enough to be remembered even decades later— long after Justin himself had forgotten all about the encounter.

.

There weren’t a lot of things Justin put actual effort in. 

Emotionally, that is; he was not afraid from hard work, never had been, but there was a world of difference between brushing up on engineering terms and being there for someone. 

Not like his mother, who’d apparently thought giving birth to him and his sister was enough involvement in his life, and proceeded to spend all her time in the Bahamas whenever she had the chance. Not for his father, who constantly tried to make him into something he was not, and finding him wanting [when he wasn’t being a sexist piece of shit who regularly cheated on his wife, anyway, but that was a whole other mess entirely].

But maybe that’s why he tried to be kind, why he tried to be there for the people around him.

...oh, and apparently he’d been known for giving good advice in boarding school to anyone who asked. Which was weird, but whatever. At least he’d helped?

.

Justin tried to be a good older sibling. Really, he did, trying to be as supportive as he could be of Steph as he could.

Sometimes, though, that landed him in some...interesting situations.

Such as her infamous ‘fashion design’ phase, which lasted for five very memorable months, during which he wore even her most dubious of creations without complaint even though he really, really couldn’t pull off that particular shade of orange. 

There were probably pictures still floating around, actually, but he was in no particular hurry to dig them up.

Not that he was ashamed, because he’d like to think he pulled off some of those combinations remarkably well, but... well, if it were anyone other than his sister asking, he probably wouldn’t have done it.

Goodness knew how long it’d taken for some of the other guys at boarding school to look him in the eye afterwards. 

.

Several decades in, and Justin Hammer had yet to express interest in anyone.

Oh, he was perfectly polite and charming to everyone; courteous and charismatic, but...well.

'Gentleman’, some called him; ‘in the closet’, dismissed others with a scoff.

The truth was somewhere in between: Justin couldn’t help but see everyone his age or younger as kids, and between that, his natural older sibling instincts, and his own personal issues with his body that came and went, well...

At least Stark was always a good distraction, nobody paid attention to him when the guy was around. 

.

Justin worked at his company long before he became its CEO. 

It was a bit awkward at first, because everyone seemed to be uncomfortable with the idea of the boss’ kid looking over their shoulders, but once they saw he did good work and pulled his weight [and didn’t regularly make tasteless jokes about kitchens or whatever bullshit his old man was up to these days], things picked up the pace.

He bounced between departments a bit because he wanted to get a better feel for the company, and it was during his brief foray in the marketing department that he came across something that gave him pause.

Now, he knew Hammer Industries followed federal guidelines on who they did and didn’t sell to, officially, but...there were a few grey areas sometimes. 

Normally, it wasn’t something he’d have blinked at, but he recognized the names on this particular proposal.

“Von Doom? Latveria? Geez, Victor, what’ve you been up to?”

.

Once upon a time, there had been a boy who appreciated silence when studying during a time when most children his age were anything but.

So when another brat showed up, he hadn’t exactly been happy about it at first. 

But they were quiet, and seemed to prefer to keep their nose in their book, and so they’d come to a wordless agreement to share the space. 

For over three years, they studied together and shared exasperated looks when the other brats got loud, and so it was that a friendship was born.

It wasn’t until they stopped showing up one day that Justin learned that there was turmoil in that student’s country that’d forced them to go back, and only then that he learned his silent studymate’s name.

.

An unusual childhood friendship wasn’t much to go off of.

But it was something.

And knowing what he did about Victor, and the pull his country had in the international sphere... it was a risky gamble, but he was fairly certain he could pull it off.

So Justin quietly but firmly took that particular proposal from the ‘reject’ pile, and took it to his father to look over.

He was still fairly new at this, but he knew how to play the game. It was a risky gamble, but if this panned out, they’d have a significantly stronger foothold in places their rivals couldn’t even dream.

Worst comes to worse, well... everyone was so focused on what was going down in Yugoslavia, it wasn’t like they’d particularly care if a few shipments went missing, now, would they?

It wasn’t pretty, but then, Justin wouldn’t get anywhere in the world if he was afraid of getting his hands dirty.

.

Latveria’s reputation as an unstable country ended when the scion of one of their most eminent families went and united its people, kicking out all of the outside factions vying for territory as he did.

Then he promptly turned around and revitalized its economy, infrastructure, and gods knows what else because seemingly overnight, Latveria turned into one of the richest countries on the planet. 

Sitting back in his chair, Justin smiled as he put down the newspaper.

“Huh. Sounds like someone’s been busy.”

.

He got a very slick cell phone via courier, not long after that. 

That, and a slip of paper with a simple ‘Thanks’ in Victor’s signature scrawl.

.

Years passed.

Years passed, and shit went down, but no matter what hurdles life threw his way, Justin powered through them nonetheless.

Like when his little sister had a kid and their parents freaked out because she wasn’t married, and then freaked out even more when little Timmy turned out to be on the spectrum and Justin wasn’t remotely surprised when she cut all contact with them after that.

Goodness knew he’d have done the same long ago, after all the shit they’d pulled over the years.

He was just happy she chose to keep him in her life, and that Timmy seemed to really like him as an uncle. 

.

Stark was a bona fide hero, was talking about privatizing world peace. 

Justin wished him the best of luck.

But...well, he hadn’t been the one to propose their rivalry, but if Stark wasn’t in the industry to compete against, then... oh, bother.

Looks like he’d have to change up his plans.

.

Stark was acting weird. Well, weirder, he’d never really been able to understand him in the first place.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked as he pulled him to the side. Sure, it was probably rude to ignore the gala’s host, but he did not like the look in Stark’s eyes, no matter how bright his smile was.

“Hey, Justin! How’ve you been? Long time no see, but—”

“You’re not okay.” He said, making sure his tone brooked no argument because he knew Stark, had known him since they were kids and he was not okay.

It was like a switch flipped: Stark’s smile vanished, and he reached out towards him for a moment before he sighed and were those tears in his eyes? “Yeah, you could say that.”

.

The government wanted to take Stark’s super-fancy suit, and...this, he could work with. Somehow.

Damn it, he’d need to tweak some of his plans even more...

.

For a few seconds, Stark looked very betrayed when he caught sight of him in the courtroom. 

Then his face went blank in the way Justin had long known to be his ‘I am screaming internally but I refuse to let the cameras see’ look, and he felt bad for him even as he submitted his own findings to their audience.

To be honest, they were a long ways off from developing anything close to what Stark already had in hand, but it never hurt to be prepared for the future. If one man could do it, what was to stop another?

They were all lucky Stark was a good man who didn’t abuse his power.

Justin was no hero, but if lightning were to strike twice...better him than a potential threat.

Besides— Stark needed competition if he didn’t want to stagnate. Who knows? Hopefully, they’d be able to push each other to greater heights.

.

Ivan Vanko was a dangerous man. Just as brilliant as Stark, but with an edge that could only have been gained from a hard life.

Dealing with him would be like playing with fire, Justin just knew it.

[Like knew like, after all.]

But he knew people, knew how to work them, and considering that little display at the race track?

He could work with this.

.

It takes a handful of phone calls to put out all the fires from the past few days. 

Perk of being a well-known and respected figure in the defense industry, Justin supposed; Stark’d once mentioned his contact list was classified six ways to Sunday, so really, having a few senators on speed-dial was nothing. 

He had to do some extra sweet-talking to calm down some of the generals, and may or may not have made mention to some of his older contracts to get Stern to ease up, but whatever.

.

Why he was invited to Stark’s birthday celebration, he didn’t know. 

But he brought a bottle of apple cider and champagne anyway, because why the hell not.

.

This party was really, really not his style.

So when he was pulled aside by the man of the hour, he raised an eyebrow when he noticed he was out of his suit and— wait.

Justin whipped back to where the piece of equipment that had been the source of all this mess was dancing on the table, while Tony was in a rumpled suit not three feet from him.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

.

Stark looked like shit. 

...and was apparently dying, because he’d passed up Justin’s offer at a toast, even though it had been an inside joke for almost as long as they could remember.

Also, he’d looked stricken when Justin had tried to joke about it, that was another pretty big clue.

They weren’t normally one for hugs, but this time they didn’t hesitate to offer— and so felt very very awkward when the closest thing they had to a childhood frenemy proceeded to break down in their arms.

Justin’s older sibling instincts flared to life and they tried to murmur reassurances the best they could, but.

Wasn’t like there was much they could say, now, could they?

Stark was dying, and there was nothing they could do about it. 

Something inside Justin was screaming, and the part of him that wasn’t trying to be there for someone absently wondered why...then he noticed what he was saying, and kicked himself for not paying attention earlier.

“—ever give up, I’m here, know you are not alone—”

Geez. Talk about sappy, normally they only got like this around their sister or nephew.

But whatever it was they’d said, it apparently helped. 

Or something, because Stark was honest-to-goodness crying but after a few minutes, started to calm down and pull himself together.

“I’m so, so sorry about this—” Stark started, and Justin cut in.

“Don���t be, looks like you needed it.” And he clearly had; already he looked a lot better than before.

“I...should get back to the party, shouldn’t I?” Ah, looks like Justin wasn’t the only one feeling awkward now.

“It’s gone on for a while, and you look pretty tired. You sure you don’t want to wrap it up instead?”

“...yeah, that’s... probably a good idea. See you around, Justin. Hopefully.”

“See you later, Stark.” 

.

Stark apparently invented a new element in his basement. 

He knew this, because Stark called him up to say he wasn’t dying anymore. 

Once he hung up, he felt torn between immense relief, and exasperation that he’d need to rewrite his plans again.

.

...aaand kinda ran out of steam again. Long story short, yes, this is the AU where Justin Hammer maybe sort of becomes the Lex Luthor of the universe and may or may not end up accidentally creating a League of Evil of sorts because he’s frenemies with Tony and Victor von Doom ends up having a similar dynamic with some grad student and Ivan has some really good ideas and loves sticking it to the man. 

Said club only grows when the Avengers Initiative forms, and Loki escapes custody and joins for the sole purpose of pranking Thor and giving Fury a headache and Justin may or may not end up getting a crush somewhere along the way.

No, I’m not sure how we got here either.

[anothertimdrakestan]

Keep Trying Lover Boy Jason Todd x reader

Words: 1k

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“can you do prompt 23 "keep trying loved boy" with Jason flirting and trying to win the reader over even though she's Tim's best friend and he thinks it's gross but she's kinda falling for J???”

LINK TO PROMPTS  -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

With a groan Damian jumped out of your way as you chased after Jason with a batarang in hand. Everyone wondered how you found such sharp objects at such quick notice but no one could blame you when you were constantly stalked by the most flirtatious asshole on the planet. “Y/n no! Let him go c’mon!” Tim caught up to you, grabbing your arm and pulling you back as Jason’s figure slipped down one of the Wayne Manor’s many hallways.

“God Tim if he calls me princess one more time I’ll throw the batarang next time” Tim rolled his eyes. “Y/n you know I hate it too but he’s only doing it cuz you react like this” you couldn’t help but disagree, Jason had always hung around you when you came over. With pet names, little gifts, and constant flirting you knew he was trying to hide raw emotion behind a smirk and fuckboy facade. This was partially your fault for sometimes flirting back, texting first, and trying to mess with Jason, what is a girl to do when a guy is practically in love with her?

Tim would never let you forget when he found you stretching in front of Jason before the two of you went for a run. Both of you knew this was a purposeful placement as you bent over and flexed your muscles in front of Jay. Or the time when he called you princess and you casually responded, acting like it was just another nickname - Tim claims it still makes him sick. 

Just a couple nights ago you were staying over at the manor and waking up on the couch to Jason flipping pancakes shirtless, you drank in the sight, trying to memorize every scar and it’s placement on his torso. Jason knew you were looking, but didn’t call you out, he liked that you were thinking about him the way he did you and so he didn’t interrupt, he just tried to flex and reach for ingridients high and low even though he didn’t need them at all. You pulled yourself out of your daze, hoping he didn’t notice, and joined him in the kitchen. Assuming Tim was working on cases still you silently helped Jason. The two of you preparing plates for each member at the house, silence sat comfortably in the air, a mutual agreement to just be in the other’s presence, no flirting or sharp objects being thrown. It was the first morning you felt you truly saw Jason, you never told Tim, deciding he would probably gag at the idea of you enjoying his brother’s presence. 

Today was not the silent appreciation, but the flirtatious interruption. You’d gone over to geek out over the newest phaser invented by Gotham University and you and Tim decided to try to make a prototype like theirs but you were interrupted while trying to solder wires by a sultry voice mentioning that “you shouldn’t bend over like that babe you’re mine remember?” shocking you, making you jump up and begin the chase with screwdriver in hand. 

You had decided to stay over with Tim that night, the two of you convinced you could finish your first test run during the all nighter you two had planned. Making mac n cheese you danced with your best friend to terrible music while stirring questionable, chemically created cheese into the pasta. “Nothing better than seeing my girl making me dinner” you glared at Jason while he winked at you. “Get a damn room Jay, preferably one without y/n” Tim joined you in glaring at Jason who held up his hands sheepishly. “A man has got to try when it comes to love” Jason pretended to swoon and with a smirk you retorted “you’re gonna have to keep trying lover boy” before turning your music back up and ignoring Jason. Part of you couldn’t shake off the little bit of you that was happy he wasn’t quitting just yet. 

Returning to your project you and Tim tried to pass the time while your phaser charged by talking. You were resting your head against his shoulder when he blurted out “you’re falling for Jason aren’t you” which caused you to sit up straight shaking your head. “We talking about the same Jason here? Mr. you’re mine y/n, make me dinner dear lover, blah blah blah” you tried to imitate Jason but Tim looked at you seriously. “Y/n I’ve known you for years, if you wanted Jason to stop you’d stop reacting but you both like it, you both like each other.” you scoffed at his character analysis but he gave you the “don’t lie to me I already have trust issues” look and you caved. “Okay maybe I kinda sorta, like it a teeny tiny bit” after admitting it you leaned back on the floor staring up at the ceiling of the batcave. Tim leaned back with you, eventually breaking the silence 

“Y/n you like him, it’s okay, just don’t be gross in front of me and you better still be my best friend” realizing Tim could feel like you were picking Jason over him you pulled him into a hug reminding him that “Timmy you’ll always be my favorite even if I have some feelings for Jason” in what was supposed to be a cute moment you heard a screech. “I KNEW IT YOU LIKE ME!” and there was none other than Jason Todd pumping a fist in the air. 

“Just cuz I like you doesn’t mean I won’t kill you- Tim?” you looked to your best friend hoping he’d finally let you go after Jason.

“Get him”

[movedto-erodasghosts]

distraction | timothée chalamet

moved blogs - @erodasghosts

description: where timmy helps comfort y/n after their doctors appointment (i tried my best to keep it general i believe)

requested by: @reddir14 (i hope you like it! i tried to add some small details to make it more for what you requested!)

word count: ~1.2k

warnings: reader experiences anxiety about their diagnosis

a/n: sorry it took me so long! this was written with the thought of the reader being autistic but i did try to keep it more general so more people can read and hopefully more people can find comfort!

masterlist

---

It felt strange, things seemed more conflicting than before. Finally you were being given answers but they didn’t seem to clear things up. Or, rather, it did clear things up but it left you feeling like you were still left in the unknown. Where were you supposed to go from there? 

You had done some research on possibilities before, keeping in mind none of that could give you a defiant answer though. When your doctor confirmed you were on the spectrum it wasn’t that it was shocking, but it felt overwhelming in a way. So you had that answer, but now you were coming up with an entirely new set of questions that were waiting to be answered. It was unclear of where you should even begin with your new diagnosis. It was comforting to know your doctor was going to help you be introduced but it was unsettling to have to wait for that, you wanted answers then.

“Oh, you’re back,” Tim came into the kitchen, setting a few bags down of groceries on the counter. “How’d it go?”

You sat silently for a moment not sure of what to say. There was so much you didn’t know about it still. How would he even take that information? Concern filled you as you worried how he might react negatively. It added to your already overwhelmed feelings.

“I don’t know,” you muttered.

He started putting things away, eyebrows furrowed as he looked back to you. “What’d you mean? Is something wrong?”

How were you supposed to answer those questions? You had no clue. You knew it wasn’t that the appointment went wrong, and that your diagnosis wasn’t bad, but you felt like you were growing more and more helpless. You didn’t have any answers, for yourself or anyone else.

“I-- I don’t know,” you repeated as you lightly gave your thigh a squeeze. “I mean… it’s okay, I’m okay, but...”

Timmy turned back to lean on the counter in front of you. You were staring at the fridge and bouncing your leg. He could see the panic written all over your face, which only filled him with more confusion and concern. He shook it off though, the worry would do neither of you any good. 

“Hey,” he gently smiled, “it’s alright. We don’t have to talk about that right now if you don’t want, or ever if you never want to.”

You nodded, biting your lip and resting your hand atop your still bouncing leg. That was a bit calming at least, you didn’t have to know any answers for him at the moment, it gave you time to focus on answering your own questions. Still, you couldn’t really answer them at that moment. Tim could still see how worried you were and he quietly tried to think of how he could offer any help in that moment. 

He tried his best to let you try to just have a moment to think, gather your thoughts so you could talk. A part of him could tell it was one of those instances where you didn’t really know where to begin though.

“Today was just the diagnosis and minor introduction,” he began.

You let your hand relax, glancing at him as he spoke. He stood straight again, making his way to the other side of the counter to be standing right infront of you. 

“Whatever it is, you’ll get to learn more about it over time. And if you ever need, I’ll always be here for you through it all.” He reached for your hand, giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

You felt frozen now, much preferred over your previous feeling. Now you were sitting in a more calming state, a state where you knew you had more support. The other thoughts didn’t just disappear but they were at least being kept at bay in that moment, you were more able to focus on what was happening around you. 

“I’m just nervous about the diagnosis,” you admitted quietly. “I don’t really know much about it and I feel like I didn’t learn enough today. I don’t know what my future means now with what I know, and now it’s like I don’t even understand my past really… It’s terrifying and I just feel so alone right now.”

Your gaze had landed back on the fridge and your fingers occupied themselves by twisting a ring around your finger. Saying those things made you feel a little better too, able to get them off your chest. It was helping your brain sort through your thoughts even if you didn’t realize. Still, you didn’t know if you really wanted to talk about it.

It was more than safe to talk about with Timmy, that wasn’t the issue. Your mind just couldn’t seem to piece all the thoughts together to know where to begin with talking about it, let alone to just think about it. You had experienced this before but it was never really on the same level, so indescribable now. 

“Well,” Tim stood between your legs, “I’m here, aren’t I? I know I don’t have the answers you’re looking for right now but I’ll help you get them. We can figure this out together, yeah?”

You nodded softly, still lost in your own thoughts and hardly processing what he said. All of the negativity was creeping back in, it was easier to let in than keep out. Your eyes were losing focus and your fingers began twisting the ring faster than before.

“Y/n?” Timmy spoke up, “Hey, you okay?”

“Hmm,” you hummed, turning to face him but still not focusing. 

“We’re going to figure this out,” he rested his hands on your legs. “Easier said than done, but don’t overwhelm yourself too much, alright? We’ve gotta take it one step at a time.”

Your eyes flickered to his, he smiled softly back at you. His voice was soft, calming. It seemed to easily lull you out of your thoughts again.

“One step at a time,” you repeated. 

“We can talk through it some now, maybe? Or if you’d rather not I can come up with the perfect distraction,” he grinned.

You chuckled, “Distraction, please.”

Tim nodded, backing away to go into the bedroom. He came back holding up a pile of blankets and pillows, a stuffed animal being balanced on top of his head. You couldn’t help but laugh as he waddled out. 

“Let me help,” you went to grab the stuffed animal and the pillows. “What exactly is going on here?”

“We, my dear y/n, are making a pillow fort and binge watching a crumby soap opera.” He smiled widely, letting the blankets fall on the couch. “And we aren’t going to worry about life right now, it picks up again tomorrow.” 

“That sounds like the perfect distraction,” you smiled.

He took the pillows back and tossed them to the couch. “What did I tell you? I’ll get the snacks,” he kissed your temple and went off to the kitchen.

It was still off, but your thoughts were becoming more manageable. Maybe things were going to go better than you had thought. It was at least more calming to know you weren’t completely alone anymore.