#I have so many more examples I could give but I'll stop

[stupidlittlespirit]

Can you give me more examples of Alex disliking Ford? I’ve always kinda felt it, but I never really had much of a real grasp on it.

Okay so this is the part where I look crazy because I can't give you specific examples LMAO but I'll try to explain what I mean. It's more in what he doesn't say than what he does.

Alex doesn't ever come right out and state 'I hate Ford', but he implies his distaste for him through his treatment of him. The way he hasn't gone harder/more explicit on drawing lines about Ford's abuse, or talking about how Ford suffered terribly during the time he was alone, for example. The way he blames Ford inherently for a lot of stuff that Ford, while not blameless, isn't fully at fault for. It's little things, and I'll detail them below.

TW below: Abuse, discussions of victimhood and irl consequences.

He extends more sympathy to other characters whereas Ford is sort of an afterthought. I don't actually think Alex has fleshed Ford out very well in his own head. Remember when he said that he didn't even know that Bill was going to be the main villain? They were flying by the seat of their pants for a lot of the series and it's quite clear in some elements. Obviously, the series is wonderful, I love it, it's one of my favourite shows of all time and Alex is a true talent, but it's obvious which characters are more important to him. He favours Bill a lot, too, so when his disliking of Ford/being ambivalent about him meets his enjoyment of Bill, only one of those dogs is coming out of the fight alive and it ain't Ford.

I think Alex is a genuine talent, I admire his work and his writing. He seems lovely. But I do also think he lacks in skill when it comes to complex abuse depictions.

I see a running theme that he isn't very good at portraying it specifically via 'unlikeable' characters. I mentioned on a previous post that he did this with Pacifica until people expressed empathy with her, and then he decided to round her out. He stated that himself during an old interview; I can't source it but I remember it vividly because it flagged red in my head that he couldn't see she was just a product of her environment. She's a twelve year old girl, for god's sake, she isn't 'just a horrible person', it makes a person sound like Bill when they beef with kids like that lol.

Another thing is in TBoB, there's a really horrendous page where Ford is tortured. It is visceral and awful, and tbh I wish I'd have been able to ask Alex what his top 5 horror movies were when I saw his talk because the scene is very reminiscent of a lot of my fav horrors.

But anyway, it is literal torture and it is also communicating about how helpless Ford is. He's a victim and a 'weak one' at that. Nothing he can do will stop Bill's abuse, he's stupid for trying, he's pathetic, he deserves it.

Now, that is a take I see with Ford a lot. He deserves it. He's asking for it. And it's a really upsetting one. It's also a common narrative told by people who blame victims for the abuse they suffered.

Not once have I ever seen Alex defend Ford. Not once have I ever heard him say 'Ford didn't deserve this', 'Ford suffered as much as Stan'. Not once.

Considering that he said he took 'inspiration' from his friend's 'toxic' relationships (I also think this is a strange and slightly perverse thing to do btw), I would have thought he might feel more strongly about pushing away this narrative about victims deserving their treatment.

I, obviously, also don't know for sure that he did take inspo from friends; he could well be describing his own experiences and just not feel comfortable saying so because men do suffer a different kind of stigma around being abused. That's fine, he doesn't have to out himself or anything, that would be horrible. But it's just the way he reacts to fans and speaks about the victim (Ford) that makes me think he's a bit more removed from this specific experience than it being personal.

There are many types of abuse. Ford's experience is familial, relationship-wise (platonic, because nothing about his relationship with Bill is romantic in the most basic sense of the term, if anything you can liken that side of things to sexual abuse) and personal. Ford then abuses himself as a reaction to outside abuse. Not his fault, again, but it does happen and it's a common thing for victims to do. I did.

Ford does nothing but suffer.

I truly don't believe that if you loved and cared for your character, you would be willing to watch your audience tear them apart like that after they had already been through so much and were not actually a villain themselves.

Especially if you had, or knew other people who had, experience with that kind of abuse. He doesn't let it happen to Stan, he came down hard on people when they did it to Dipper, and to Mabel, too.

It would kill me to let my OCs be bastardised like that by an audience and I'd be damned if I did a disservice to victims everywhere over something like this.

I think his lack of care is displayed in his treatment of Ford, as opposed to him outright saying he doesn't like him.

I also understand that this analysis also comes from a deeply personal point of view and my own experience with this topic, too.

This is a TV show, it isn't real and I don't need to take it so seriously, but what I do take seriously is seeing the real world reactions of other people. That does hurt. It hurts to see someone who is (very inelegantly and heavy-handedly, btw) depicted as a victim of abuse be laughed at and made into a joke, or flipped on their head and made to be romanticised with their abuser just to make a ship happen.

Fiction doesn't need to be taken seriously except when the lines begin to blur over into real life. We know people are cruel to irl victims and we can see where these lines blur quite obviously.

I think abuse and uncomfortable topics should be depicted, but I also think that as a creator, if you use them, you have a HUGE responsibility to teach and guide your audience into understanding why these things are bad/what makes them so. You shouldn't make jokes about the topic or encourage other people to go off the rails with it.

You can't control people, of course you can't, but you can hold their hand a bit and show them towards the light. If they choose not to follow it then they're probably not bright enough to pick up what you're putting down and that's on them, but you have to try.

Maybe if I hadn't (and my friends and other victims hadn't) been subjected to exactly the same reaction, we wouldn't feel so strongly about this, but it really does feel like a kick in the teeth to see a large number of people behave so grotesquely about abuse.

And just as an aside: I am a victim, I have been/am an unlikeable one, but it does not mean that I deserved what I got and that goes the same for every other 'unlikeable' victim out there.

*deep breath* but other than that I'm totally normal about Ford and not at all mentally ill :)

[weirdstrangeandawful]

This is your very firm reminder that things only become a disorder when they start to affect your day to day life. They can be very real symptoms of a disorder before that and they can combine to form a disorder but on its own,

hypermobility is not hEDS or HSD

trauma and stress is not PTSD

strong emotions are not bipolar disorder or BPD

vasovagal syncope is not POTS

heart palpitations are not POTS

fatigue is not ME

auditory processing difficulties are not central hearing loss or (C)APD

tactile sensory difficluties are not central sensitisation syndrome

distractability is not ADHD

anxiety is not GAD

sadness is not MDD

The current medical system is ableist, classist, and otherwise discriminatory so it is important to investigate on your own but self-diagnosing when you don't fully meet the criteria and then inserting yourself into conversations that are about much more severe symptoms invalidates others. Hell, even if you're professionally diagnosed, inserting yourself into conversations about more severe symptoms invalidates others.

There is a really fine line to walk here but I've had so many people recently invalidate my symptoms recently. I have so so many examples but these are just some more recent ones I need to get off my chest:

'I basically have hEDS. I just have normal collagen' Then you have no idea how it feels to struggle in the way I struggle to do basic things like sitting up, or eating, or seeing, or walking, or working from home at a desk job.

'I'm autistic and find it hard to hear in crowds, I know how you feel.' You don't know what it's like to have a central hearing disability and not be able to get jobs I really want for safety reasons because I'm hard of hearing even with HAs. Or lose the ability to speak properly because I have zero auditory feedback sometimes. Or not be able to take phone calls on my own sometimes.

'I have PTSD from [insert not actually traumatic event].' Do you really have to avoid entire parts of your life, lose friends because they found it too stressful to keep you alive when parts of you were trying to escape the hell that is the inside of your mind, and watch your life fall apart no matter how good things are going because of something that happened (or kept happening) years ago?

'I feel woozy when I stand up sometimes too. Have you tried sitting on the edge of your bed for a minute?' How about having to beg for a bed and to keep your own clothes on when you're in the ER because you can't get your blood volume up on your own and being denied that dignity and having to lie on the floor in a populated corridor wearing a gown that doesn't gover you because you can't tied it because of the reason you're there in the first place?

'That's how I feel before I have my coffee in the morning lol!' No. You'll never be able to imagine what it's like to be pulling a never-ending all-nighter because you'll wake up even more exhausted every. single. day.

[martian-astro10]

D9/ Navamsa chart observations - Part 4

Sun in 3rd shows that your spouse will either have a business of their own or even if they work for someone else, they'll be in a managerial position. As a result of this, your spouse will be focused more on their career than the marriage, and it could make you feel a bit lonely. (Jupiter in fire and water signs can balance this out)

Moon in 7th is a really good placement, i have seen this in the charts of female celebrities who have a handsome husband. so if we're going just by looks, then it's good. Your partner can be emotional and sensitive but they can also be moody, this placement is better if you have more earth signs in your chart. (i know a woman with this, and her husband is like okay but he can also be quite whiny sometimes, and also he acts like his hands are gonna fall down if he puts them inside the dirty dishes water, so, i just find him very annoying, so just make sure that there are planets in earth signs)

Mercury in 1st... I love it. A lot of "happily" married couples have it. This is a placement that makes you address the issues in your marriage. If you guys feel like there's something wrong, you're gonna approach your partner and talk to them about it. (i think that even if the conversation ultimately leads to divorce it's still better than just staying in a dull and loveless marriage, and if the problem gets solved, then great). I really have a soft spot for this one because a lot of strong women in my life have this and i just love the fact that they were brave enough to go against the society's rules, so if you have this placement, you're very very lucky and you'll have a good marriage, you know what you want and that's great. (this can also cause late marriage)

Venus in 1st, this one is not for your partner but for yourself, the number of celebrities that have this is just....shocking. If you want to work in the entertainment industry and you have this, go ahead, seriously, just give auditions, put videos on youtube, make reels, do it, you WILL be famous. (talking about the people that i know personally that have this placement, they're really creative as well, one of my sister's friend has sun conjunct Venus in 1st house and she's such a charismatic speaker and like really persuasive, this is helpful to her in regards to career, so even if you want to work in some other field, this placement makes you the best in that)

Mars in 4th.. I love this one as well. This makes your partner really protective of you and your kids (if you wish to have them). I used to think that this would make your spouse more protective of their parents (especially mother) rather than their partner, but I've been proven wrong, many many times. I have seen it play out right in front of my eyes, a lot of times, so I'll give examples. (if you're a woman, and your husbands family is talking shit about you, he won't like it at all and in some cases, may even move out of the house cuz they can't stand seeing you being humiliated. Another example, if you're being harassed then.. They're gonna get physical, and not because, someone touched THEIR wife, but because someone touched YOU, there's a huge difference. And if you're a man, you are LUCKY, your wife's gonna be like 5'1, but if someone's hurting you, she's gonna stand in front of you and be like "stop hurting my man, get the fuck away from him" and having that kind of support in your life is really rare)

Jupiter in 5th... DUDE, every person i know that has this have more than 2 kids, if its well placed then you're gonna be great parents and your children are gonna love you. Your partner is gonna love kids and that's why... More kids. If you're a woman, then please make sure that you marry someone who loves you just as much, because this is one of those placements that can cause "good parent but bad partner" thing. (I've also seen this placement in a lot of men's charts, who only marry a woman because they think she would make a good mother, which is not good, so be a little cautious of men with this)

Saturn in 10th, now if you're a woman and you have this, then please please marry a man who's okay with having a wife who's more career oriented (every woman should marry a man like that) but sometimes you'll see that a woman is forced to become a SAH wife and she's unhappy but she does it (even though she shouldn't) but women with this, they won't, they'll just get divorced instead, they DO NOT like staying at home (valid), a partner who encourages you to pursue your dreams will be the best. (i know a couple where the wife has this, he's a house husband but a good one, he actually does all the household chores and doesn't just laze around while his wife works, and they also love each other, and i love them 🥹)

Venus in 9th, i read on a lot of websites and books that these people should marry after 30 and i agree. An early marriage with this will lead to separation or an unhappy marriage. (i also noticed this to be true, but i couldn't find out WHY, like the reason). This is also an indicator of marrying someone from a different culture or background. Even more so if Venus is in movable signs.

Saturn in 5th, (bro my memory is so bad, i feel like I've already written about this but i can't fucking remember 😭😭), okay so this placement also delays childbirth, or you may end up having just one kid (which is not wrong), you may also have a kid after 30, Ranbir kapoor, priyanka chopra and deepika padukone have this. Even if you have ketu in 8th, this will happen because saturn has a stronger effect.

Mars in 2nd, this placement is like a double edged sword, your partner is gonna be a spendthrift but they manage to earn back that money just as fast, but here's the thing, it's like, you have to pay your rent on the 1st of a month, your partner uses that rent money to buy something for themselves, now you're stressed AS FUCK and on the 31st, out of nowhere, they're gonna give that same amount to you. I've seen this happen a lot. So you're just gonna be constantly stressed out. (this works well for people who themselves are spendthrifts, cuz none of you give a shit, so whatever)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[tlatollotl]

Why do some people rage against using the term Aztec, but say nothing when someone uses Maya (multiple cultures), Zapotec (Bën Za), Mixtec (Ñuu Savi Sukun, Ñuu I'ni, Ñuu Andivi), Tarascan (Purépecha), Huichol (Wixárika), Cora (Náayerite), Huastec (Téenek), or any other indigenous groups? Especially when discussing archaeologically defined groups/cultures that may be quite distinct from their contemporary descendants?

I'm not saying that we shouldn't use better terms. We most definitely should. Anasazi, for example, should never be used beyond a single sentence saying it is no longer an acceptable label when reviewing and discussing the historiography of the Puebloan peoples.

But that doesn't mean some terms should be abandoned in lieu of another term that is no way better. Replacing Aztec with Mexica ignores the two other ethnic groups/city-states that made up the Triple Alliance. I want you to stop and think And see if you can recall what those two groups were. I'll give you a hint, Nezahualcóyotl was from one of those groups.

Give up? They were the Acolhua and Tepanec. So, if you want to stop using Aztec, that's fine. But you have to replace it with Mexica, Acolhua, and Tepanec every time. However, that replacement is only limited to talking about Tenochtitlán, Texcoco, and Tlacopan. Why? Because there were more ethnic groups within the Basin of Mexico, not to mention outside the Basin of Mexico, that were under control of the Triple Alliance and were distinct from being Mexica, Acolhua, or Tepanec. You could, of course, replace Aztec with Triple Alliance, or Ēxcān Tlahtōlōyān in Classic Nahuatl. Totally fine if a little unwieldy. Though you may run into issues with people confusing the Triple Alliance of Mesoamerica with several Triple Alliances in European history.

But what really is the issue with using Aztec to refer to the multitude of ethnicities and cultures that made up the Triple Alliance? It isn't derogatory or insulting. The term is based on the semi-mythical homeland of numerous groups that occupied Central Mexico and made up a large part of the Triple Alliance (the Tlaxcalteca were from Aztlan, as well). In fact, Aztec is a handy term to refer to the collection of all these groups despite the polity not being a monocultural entity because these groups did share many cultural features, histories, and/or languages.

You could compare the term Aztec to Roman. A broad term that encompasses many peoples. But when necessary, you can discuss individual or small groups of ethnicities/cultures within the broader polity. And that includes the people of Rome itself which you could refer to as Romani, which they called themselves, to be distinct from the larger broader socio-political Roman label for the people of the Republic/Empire outside of Rome proper.

It's an issue of scale, I think. But that's why we have multiple terms available to use when the context and need arises. And if better terms come along, by all means replace the previous terms.

If you disagree, I would like to know why. This was sort of a rant into the void from seeing other online discourse. I really would welcome a good explanation as to why we should replace Aztec with Mexica at the expense of all the other groups that made up the Triple Alliance.

[duke-rancid]

I've seen it be brought up a little bit recently about the racism towards BigB in the Life Series fandom and I wanna throw something out there that I think will help people.

The fandom is made up of majority white people, and the majority of you probably have an unconscious bias.

When you read that your first thought is probably something like "no, not me! I definitely think of everyone equally! The reason I'm not a BigB fan is actually because of XYZ reason!"

The thing about it is that it's unconscious. You don't think about it, don't notice it unless you're actively looking for it. You can be biased against or for something without even knowing it. And this does apply to other things (women, fat people, disabled people, ETC) and to many other situations, but for this post I'll stay focused on race and the fandom specifically.

I'm white and I was raised by racist people. And while I never adopted any of those beliefs myself, it rubs off on you in ways you don't notice.

It's honestly a bit difficult to give a good example, but let's say I saw a video of someone complaining about having to take the bus to work. If that person was black, I would usually think something like "ugh this is so boring." "Nobody cares about your problem." "You should have thought about XYZ solution first before posting." But if they were white, I would have just scrolled past without caring at all.

Not that every thought I had was quite that active though. It could also be something like, if you put two drawings in front of me that were completely equal in skill, but one was made by a black person and the other a white person, I would have just inherently liked the one by the white person more. But replace that black person with another white person and I would have liked them both equally. Replace that white person with another black person and I would have been equally as critical to both.

And I wouldn't even realize it. I wouldn't even be thinking about the person's race at all. But my brain did it unconsciously.

You have to be actively thinking about it and catching yourself when you do it. You have to actively correct yourself when it happens.

So think really hard about it. Think about different moments you've seen of BigB, either clips you've seen from other's videos or his own videos you've watched. Did you find him boring? A bit annoying? A little dumb?

Now think about those moments and imagine a white person doing the exact same thing. Think really hard about it. What if it was Grian or Scar or Mumbo in BigB's place?

I'm serious, stop for a few minutes an think about it.

Does your opinion on it change? Is it suddenly more entertaining? Is it funnier? Does the moment become endearing?

If you do this and find out that actually, yes, you have had all these unconscious biases, I have one more thing to say. I didn't realize this until I was about nineteen. It's been about three years and I still catch myself. You're not going to stop thinking like this immediately, it's going to take time to correct yourself. Hell it might never stop for all I know. But keep up at it! And make sure you apply it outside of just your fandom stuff as well! :)

[thatnonameuser]

Hi!! Good morning, good afternoon or good night depending on when you read this.

First of all, I want to clarify that I am not very good at English 🥲. It's not my native language, so I'll use Google translator in some parts.

I wanted to ask what it would be like to have a very kind, loving and carefree darling in Yandere TW.

For example:

When the teachers talk about yanderes and darlings in class, our MC just thinks it's a joke, no matter how weird it may be.

When Ace suddenly appears in MC's bedroom, at the night, instead of welcoming him worried and trembling with fear (and with a knife), she welcomes him with open arms and even accep Ace offer to sleep next to her and Grim, even though they would be very cramped and probably uncomfortable.

Or being a sweet pea with every yandere in the Au just, because, yes? Even when the boys show very notable toxic, manipulative and sadistic tendencies that can harm, directly or indirectly, other people, or even worse, her self.

I really appreciate you reading this and just respond if you want. I don't want to bother.

I almost forgot to say it, but I love your Yandere TW stories.

It was night time when I got this, and firstly, thank you so much and don't worry I love to answer these.

I'll make this an imagine, so I hope you enjoy it.

TW: Drugging, aphrodisiacs

Imagine.....

This world is a little strange, but you're in a whole new world so, why should you judge? Sure, it's a little strange, but it has to be a joke. Right?

This is a villain school, right? This is all just to teach them to do that. New world, new rules. There's nothing wrong. Nothing to be afraid of.

Sure. Ace got into your room through the window in the middle of the night, but he was kicked out of his dorm and had nowhere to go. A little desperation is understandable.

"Hey, _____ Lemme stay with you, I'm real slim. I won't take up much space~" Oh, of course you said, yes. What were you going to do, let him sleep outside? He's your friend, friends have sleepovers sometimes. Yeah, you were forced to cuddle in real close to both fit, but it was considering how cold, it was a little body heat was nice.

Sure, you felt his hands get a little close in places, or him holding you too tight in others. But he was sleeping and the bed was already a tight fit.

There was nothing to worry about.

So when Trey offered you a variety of sweet-smelling and delicious-looking tarts....

"I accidentally made too many, ____ would you like some?" Once again, you said yes. Free food, by a baker that made such delicious desserts when cheap ol Crowley refused to give you anything fast, how could you say no? He was just being nice!

Sure, a good half hour after you ate them you started to feel very, very warm. So warm that your clothes became stifling. So warm that your skin felt like it was on fire. So warm that you needed to kick Grim out of your room so that you could relieve the burn. But maybe you were just pent up? You never did feel like that before.

There was nothing to worry about.

So when Jack frequently started offering you and then covering you with his jacket, regardless of whether or not you asked.....

"Put this on."

"Why?"

"Just keep it on." You didn't object, didn't stop it from happening. The weather was getting colder, maybe he was just covering you with it because he thought you were cold, it was autumn and soon it would be winter. He was just being nice.

Sure, it eventually progressed to him touching you more and more, keeping at it until you smelled vaguely of his cologne. And yeah, while it really annoyed Leona and Ruggie, it kept the other beastmen away from you.

There's nothing to worry about.

So when you got into a scuffle that ended with Leona leaving a large bite mark meant to be permanently planted in the back of your neck for all to see.

"Oi, Herbivore don't cover my mark." You did as he said and moved on. It was just a coincidence that after Jack and Ruggie saw it they got very mad. Or the Octavinelle trio. But again it was just a coincidence.

There's nothing to worry about.

So when Floyd squeezed you so tight that your ribs felt like snapping and he wouldn't let go no matter how much you begged him to.

So when you suddenly felt sick after eating whatever Jade prepared for you, which was conveniently when you were spending time with people that were not him.

So when Azul offers you contract after contract, that are meant to tie you to him forever.

So when Kalim gave you gift after gift. Each more expensive than the last. Jewellery, Clothes, Food, and more all exotic or ridiculously expensive. And he'd keep giving them no matter how much you refused.

So when you blanked out mid conversation with Jamil, and woke up, with a headache and no memory of why there was a snake bracelet around your bicep.

So when Epel gets into fights with the delinquents that bother you, beating the life out of them and coming to you to treat whatever injuries he gets. Fights he gets into no matter how many times Vil punishes him for them.

So when things go missing from your room, especially on the days you meet Rook, especially some of your more personal belongings.

So when after the afternoons Vil takes to 'polish' the apple he considers you to be

So when you start to find some hidden cameras in your room after

So when Malleus gave you that necklace charm that you couldn't take off no matter how hard you pulled.

So when Silver visits your dreams, saving you from your nightmares and trying to serenade you while you slept.

So when Sebek, even with his clear dislike of humans, treats you like you're so fragile that he doesn't even consider leaving you alone.

Your conclusion is always the same.

They were just being nice.

You were overeacting.

Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

[dailyadventureprompts]

I've got a new d&d group and they're almost all new players, with some of them having played with me before in oneshots/ gotten a couple sessions into campaigns that fizzled.

There's the usual learning pains: No one's quite got a handle on the rules yet and is relying on me for which dice to roll ( it's a D20 friends, it's always going to be a D20 unless it's damage I don't know how many times I have to say that). Person A is nervous and over-talkative , person B is nervous and withdraws from conversation, Person C is always running a little late...

But what really surprises me is the difference between them and the group I've had going for 2 years now:

Newgroup THEORIZES in a way that I don't think I've ever seen despite playing this game for two decades. I'll ask them what they're doing and they'll have a multi-minute chat weighing the value of different options. They don't turn to ME, or ask me if things are possible ( which is what new players tend to do), they turn to eachother and ask if they think it's a good idea that they do X or Y and then what could happen from there. I'm trying to be a good DM and let them learn the ropes but it's FASCINATING response. For example; the barbarian says "I'll use my shield to pin the monster in place so we can question them about the villain" and before I can even get into my response another player will say "but what if I used my rope instead to tie them up?", meanwhile none of them have confirmed if the monster is in any way related to the villain or is capable of speech (it wasn't, it was a mimic fyi)

Newgroup is LASER targeted on their goal, which was a surprise as someone who was DMing for a party that purposefully jumped ship on the A plot ASAP and is actively resentful of anything resembling a main quest. Newgroup passes through a mining village that's been deserted after a recent attack by monsters which drove people up into the hills, a Classic rescue mission with a bit of a dungeon delve on top, intended to give the party some XP and magic items before they leave the early game and I stop pulling my punches. Newgroup stays just long enough to confirm that the monsters have nothing to do with the A plot and unanimously decide to leave the village post haste. Meanwhile I have to be careful about what information I drop to oldgroup, as if they catch a single whiff of villanious wrongdoing they'll drop what they're doing and divert their attention to wiping that threat off the map. I've now had to have multiple villains make peace treaties in all but name with this party because of their habit of knocking out rivals/threats/governments.

Because oldgroup know the game really well they're less experimental with what they want to accomplish. They know that things can be solved through class features/dice rolls/damage, and so those are their default solutions to most problems. Meanwhile newgroup has no IDEA what the limits of the game system are so they're trying clever stuff left and right. " Can I hit it in the eye with my arrow? Can I use this spell to find out if _____, Can we use the flying boots to _____?" They're asking genuinely good questions so often that it's made me want to play around with the d20 resolution system to get something more closed to the " drawback/mixed success" sorts of results you get in apocalypse world style games. ( I think I found a neat fix, more on that to come)

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Generous offer

Word count: 4.2♡

Part 1/4. My praise kink was going crazy with this 😍

Warnings: fem!reader, demon reader + referred to as a woman, praise kink (ex: pretty girl, good girl), rough sex, cluckolding, sub reader, dom akaza, shy dom Aizetsu, virgin Aizetsu, teacher kink?? (Akaza tells Aizetsu how to please you), hair pulling (akaza to aizetsu but NOT in a ship way), throat fucking, oral sex (reader receiving and giving), squirting

The infinity castle felt like a maze, even for an upper rank. This beautiful yet haunting place is mainly inviting for upper ranks to be summoned and to take orders from their lord Muzan. Upper one and three are a great example of being a favorite to muzan and for that they are given "special permission" to do whatever they wished in the castle.

Aizetsu felt like he had been walking around the castle endlessly. His main reasoning for taking this long walk was to clear his head from the fight that broke out between him and his fellow clones, or "brothers," as they liked to refer to each other. The patients for Muzan's arrival after being summoned caused some heated tension, and Aizetsu is known to be over simulated by heated conflict.

"What a disappointing way to start the night," he spoke to himself, thinking out loud with his eyes shut. "I wish lord muzan would arrive soon so we can leave. How sad this is turning out to be." Aizetsu sighs and drops his shoulders to the point where his body becomes sluggish sluggish but keeps his legs moving, taking him to God knows where.

Aizetsu started to become lost in his depressive thoughts and became unaware of the room he was approaching, too. He walked past many rooms, but this one had faint noises coming from it. Even a demon could hear it from that distance, but before Aizetsu could comprehend the noises his demon sense got to him.

His eyes softened, and he felt cheeks heated up from the scent coming from the room. It was the sexual aroma from a female demon. The scent alone made Aizetsu excited. His heart pounding a little faster, his breaths becoming heavy and his mouth opening slightly to expose his fangs. Aizetsu takes a few steps further, wanting to take a peek in the room until he comes to a hard stop.

"L-Lord, Akaza!~" You moaned, loud enough for anyone outside the room to hear. Aizetsu's arousaled, heavy breaths soon turned into a panic once he heard upper 3's name and quickly covered his mouth with both hands. He was screwed. He got so caught up in your scent, thinking it's just you masturbating alone in the room. The thought of you being with someone didn't hit him until now.

Aizetsu knew very well that male demons are very possessive over their partners, especially during sex. He knew that, yet he just couldn't seem to leave. Your moans were so pretty, and the sounds of the skin smacking against each other roughly made Aizetsu more excited than he realized.

"That's my girl. looking so pretty when you take it. Haa~ you're gonna make me cum just from your pretty moans alone beautiful" Akaza said with his hands grabbing at your tits and giving each nipple a lick. "Akaza... a-aah akaza!" Your whimper softly and your back started to arch reaching your orgasm.

"Yeah? Gonna cum? Be a good girl and cum on my cock" Akaza chuckles, fucking you more roughly. "Yes, lord akaza~ haa~ I'll be a good girl." You become a moaning and even scream in pleasure until you cummed.

Aizetsu couldn't help but whimper in his hands softly. Did you really have to sound like that? His eyes trailed down to look at his dick printed out through his pants and sighed softly. He knew this would happen since he made the choice to stay and listen to your sweet moans but now he needed to leave to take care of himself. In this state, it would only embarrass him if muzan came back to see him like this.

Aizetsu uncovers his mouth and grips onto his spear tightly. His eye brows rised high in some worry, hoping he dose not make a sound on his attempted leave and started by lifting his foot to take a step away from the door. "Where is it you think you're going. Upper four" Akaza's low, yet formal voice calls out to him. Aizetsu felt like eyes were watching him through the wall and a chilling sensation hitting his body, causing a cold sweat to run down his face.

Aizetsu couldn't think of excuse. There was no way out of this, and it would be futile to try and outrun akaza if he wanted to run away. Aizetsu's hands and knees fell to the ground without thought and rested his head gently on his hands to bow. "i-im sorry. I'm sorry, Lord akaza. How sad... I didn't mean to interpret you with my presence. Please forgive me." he begged, rather wanting to be beheaded then scolded.

Faint whispers came from the room before Akaza spoke again. "Come in," Akaza said, rustling with the blanket to put over his lap and cover his lower half. Aizetsu lifted his head from the ground in confusion, hoping he heard Akaza right. "I will not repeat myself," Akaza said in a harsh in his tone, showing clear annoyance at the slow obedience.

Aizetsu quickly rushed up and put his hands together and over his crotch to hide his erection. He uses his elbow to slide open the door, and his eyes widen at the site. You were sitting next to Akaza wearing a silk, see-through night gown. "He's cute~" You giggled and sat up more to make your arms squish your boobs together. Aizetsu's eyes softened again, and his mouth opened slightly to let out a deep sigh with his eyes narrowed down at your boobs.

Although your night gown is see-through, Aizetsu couldn't help but bit his bottom lip at how your harden nipples blug out through your clothing. "Hey." You said to catch his attention and your arm covering your boobs as you began to crawl towards Aizetsu on the bed. "Yes ma'am?" His voice quivered and pressed his held hands together on his buld to hide it as you came closer to him.

"Ma'am? How charming." You smirked and came to the edge of the bed. "How about you come join us, upper four?" You asked seductively and stood close enough for your boobs to almost press on his chest and looked at him with pleading eyes yet still having that smirk on your face. Aizetsu risked it and took a glance at your boobs, biting his bottom lip harder and felt himself getting more aroused in his pants. However, Aizetsu had to calm down and sighed.

"It's sad, really. To turn down an offer like that.... I wouldn't want to make Lord Akaza upset..." Aizetsu said with a bummed out tone. "I called you in this room, didn't I?" Akaza said, making Aizetsu have direct eye contact with him. "If I wanted to, I could've killed you before you even took another step closer to that door, but I didn't"

Akaza is right. He's known to despise all the upper ranks and is not afraid to be violent if he wanted to, especially to upper two and one. Despite knowing that Aizetsu was left with more confusion. What did Akaza want? and what did you want? He remained calm and broke his silence for the conversation to continue. "I guess you're right." He said and looked down.

"Be nice. He looks like he's going to cry." Your smirk turned into a soft, welcoming smile. "I appreciate you calling me ma'am, but my name is y/n." Your smile became wider and showed your fangs. "I know you have a name instead of "upper four." may you tell it to me?" You asked, and gentle took his hand away from his crotch, making him drope his spear and hold his hands in yours.

"A-Aizetsu," his face felt like it was heating up again from your touch when he looked at your face. "My name is Aizetsu... You're a beautiful woman," he spoke softly. "You're a handsome demon. Your eyes are so gorgeous, I want you to keep looking at me with those eyes," your arms started to wrap around Aizetsus's neck, pressing your boobs on his chest and being inches away from his lips.

"I have a proposal for you, Aizetsu," Akaza said with a smirk on his face. "What is it-" Before Aizetsu could turn to look at Akaza, you placed your hand on his cheek gently and turned his gaze back to you. "You can hear but keep your eyes on me~" You smiled. Aizetsu gulps "Okay, y/n.." his voiced quivered softly and his jaw tightening, clenching his teeth together to hold himself back from kissing you.

"How about you fuck y/n in front of me" Akaza bluntly said and began to man spread on the bed as he watches you all over Aizetsu. "Im afraid i don't follow.." Aizetsu said and made Akaza, and you chuckle. "I just can't help but fantasize about my beautiful y/n getting fucked from behind in front of me. I want to see her fucked out face and her body jerk roughly when she takes it" Akaza said and grabs his hard cock through the blanket at the thought.

"I may not be an upper rank, but even a regular demon has good hearing," you said, slipping your hand in his kimono. "Is this okay, Aizetsu?" You asked, and he nods his head. "I know a demon has good hearing... b-but why bring that up?" Hos voice shakes when he feels your hand rub on his bare chest. "I heard those whimpers you made. Your voice is so cute." You said and began to undress Aizetsu from the top further.

Aizetsu felt embarrassed at your call out but also feeling weak in your touch. "You have such nice skin," you said, letting the top part of his kimono fall to his hips to expose his upper body and admire his beautiful dark skin. Your hands touch his chest, then his biceps and then his slim waist. "I was right to pick him for your desired fantasy, Lord Akaza... I want him so badly," you said and kissed Aizetsu's chest, making him let out a soft moan.

"Do you accept? Y/n seems to he getting needy for you," Akaza asked and waited for this response. "If you don't want to, then you're welcome to leave. After all, it'll get rough. " Akaza smirks, and so did you.

"No. I accept your offer," Aizetsu said.

"Catch me," you said and jumped from the ground and wrapped your legs around Aizetsu's waist. He catches you and holds you up with both his hands on your ass. "She's gorgeous, isn't she?" Akaza asked with a dark chuckle. "Very gorgeous." Aizetsu said and grabbed your ass in his hold.

"Can I kiss her?" He asked Akaza, then looked up at you. "Can I kiss you?" He asked, pressing his mouth between the space of your boobs. "Yes," both you and Akaza answered, giving Aizetsu the confidence to kiss you.

"mhm~," you moaned softly as your head leaned down to press your lips on Aizetsu's, giving him a soft peck, and then pulled back. "Is this your first time kissing someone?" You smiled and kissed his nose, then turned your head to the side to kiss at his pointy ears. Aizetsu frowned. "It's sad, isn't it? I don't have experience in kissing nor sex. It makes me sad that I could fail this." His head falls between your boobs to hide his face.

Akaza groaned. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood for this. Sit on that chair with y/n." he points to the chair next to the bed. Aizetsu didn't hesitate to obey and walked to the chair with you in his arms and sat down, placing you on his lap gently. "You're doing fine. Stop being so damn sad. It was just a small kiss she gave." akaza crossed his arms.

"Then again, you're a literal clone, so it is your main purpose in this life it to be sad and miserable, but right now isn't the time. Be grateful I'm assisting you. Just kiss her lips. Right now, you're in charge of her pleasure," he said with his arms still crossed. "You're doing fine already. I love the way you grab my ass... do it again, please, " you asked and leaned in for deep, passionate kiss.

Aizetsu nods at Akaza's instructions, and then his hands slip under your night gown up and grabs at your ass lightly. His eyes closed, and his mouth opened slightly once he felt your tongue press on his. Aizetsu let out a gentle sigh as his 'sorrow' tongue made its way inside your mouth. "That's it. During this start to touch her body more" Akaza instructed again and now palming his cock as he watch your hips grind softly in Aizetsu's touch.

Aizetsu moaned softly when he felt you adjust yourself to sit on his cock and grinding your hips slowly. A hand leaves your ass and makes its way up to your boob. He roughly grabbed it at first but started to softly grope and massage you tit and then lead using his thumb and finger and play with your nipple.

Aizetsu could taste your heavy breathing in the kiss, and you could taste his as your tounges play with each other in your mouths. "Good choice to go for the nipples. She loves that, don't you y/n?" Akaza called out purposely and smirked when you opened an eye to look at him, exposing your little fetish.

"Y/n~" Aizetsu pulls away from the kiss, having both your tounges stick out and a thin line of Salvia connect you two for a moment. "If you like having your nipples played with... c-can I suck on them?" He asked and rubbed his thumbs in circles over both your nipples. "Aizetsu~" you moaned his name and grind your pussy harder over his clothed cock.

"So sensitive.. You're so pretty when you moan my name." Aizetsu let out a heavy breath and watched as your body trembles as he plays with you. "What eles dose she like lord Akaza," he asked, and you whined, "What's wrong, princess? I know how shy you can be when saying what you want. Let me tell him," akaza teased and chuckles at your cute pout.

"Y/n loves her clit being played with while you suck on her nipples. Having her grind on your cock it better, if you can't tell since he's been grinding on your hakama pants this whole time" Akaza couldn't help but chuckle at you both but Aizetsu takes note and pulls his pants down just enough to expose his cock.

"Is this okay?" He looks at you with his frowned eye brows and his pretty blue eyes. Aizetsu pulled your hips to make your pussy make contact with his cock and watches you nod. He leans down and hums when his tongue makes contact with your nipple.

Your head falls back with soft moans, escaping your throat as you hold onto his shoulders, almost digging your nails into his skin. Your moans grew louder when you felt his thick veins on his hard cock brush past your wet folds as you grind upwards. Aizetsu moaned on your nipple at your actions, pressing his cock against his stomach to grind your pussy.

"You're being such a good girl for Aizetsu aren't you y/n" Akaza's breaths slightly shake with his hand stroking his cock and watches you desperately plesure yourself just from grinding on Aizetsu. "Yes~ y-yes~" you answered and speak your hand down to grab at Aizetsu's cock in your hand making him but down on your nipple.

"Y/n," he moaned. "I want to be inside you. You're pussy feels so good on my cock b-but I bet it would feel better inside your pretty pussy" he said and uses his thumb to move your fold to see your wetness "you're so wet for me. Can I fuck you now? Please? I wanna hear you say it too" Aizetsu whimpers and uses his free hand to place on your back to support you as he starts to rub his tip on your wet hole and beginning to thrust it in and out.

"I want you inside me too," you moaned at the feeling and grabbed his wrist to stop him and then go to the edge of the bed. You were in Akaza's direct line of eye site and rest half your body on the bed with your feet on the ground but spread apart. You look at Akaza with begging eyes and he chuckles "you want two cock at once mm? You've been a good girl, so I'll allow it," he said and looked at Aizetsu. "Get over here.

"Yes, lord Akaza." Aizetsu got up from the chair and walked over to stand behind you. He looks down at you, spread out for him, and grabs a handful of your ass. Aizetsu admires your body from behind and starts to become more bold "can you shake your ass a little?" He asked, and you did as he said. You yelped once you felt his hand spank you, and you looked over. "Hurry..." You begged.

Akaza scoots himself to the edge of the bed. He used his large hands to grab both your ass to spread you open more. "Before you fuck her I wanna play with her pretty pussy again" akaza said and slips his thick fingers inside and fingers you. "Lord akaza!" You moaned loudly with your back arching and almost standing on your tippy toes. "What's wrong, pretty girl? You're pussy was begging to be stuffed wasn't it?" Akaza asked and kissed your ass cheek continuing to finger fuck you faster.

"More~" you managed to say. Akaza watched Aizetsu practically stand behind you, almost drolling and watches his cock twitch. "Lick her clit. When you make her cum she feels so fucking good when you put your cock inside" Akaza said curling his fingers deeper inside of you.

While Akaza has one hand holding your ass cheek open and his other hand having his fingers to fuck your pussy, Aizetsu gets down on his knees and uses his hand to hold your other ass cheek open. He brings his head down to your clit and sticks his tounge out, pressing his tounge flat on your clit. "Oh my god!" You moan having your nails dig into sheets, your legs shaking from having both the demon men play with your clit from behind.

Aizetsu moans on your throbbing clit while tasting your juices leaking out everytime Akaza pumped his fingers inside of you. "Right there!" You whined "be a good girl and cum. Let Aizetsu taste more of you," Akaza said and gave your ass a bite, sinking his fangs in and groans at your pussy tightening around his fingers.

You've reached your orgasm and creamed on Akaza's fingers. Aizetsu catches some of your cream leaking down and licks it up, slowly stopping his tongue and pulling his mouth off you. "Are you ready for more, baby?" Akaza asked and watches you weakly nod.

Akaza holds open your ass cheeks again and looks at Aizetsu. "You can put it in yourself. I'm not helping you with that," akaza joked, making you chuckle and shaked your head. Aizetsu couldn't help but smile at the comment, feeling more comfortable.

Aizetsu remembers before that you liked having your clit teased so he takes his cock and rubs his tip on your clit slowly. "Looks like you don't need my guidance anymore." Akaza chuckles. Aizetsu lined his cock and pushed the tip past your folds and beginning to push his length inside. "Oh fuck Aizetsu~" you whispered and lift your head from the sheets as you felt his cock half way inside, opening your up.

"Haaa~ you're pussy feels so good" Aizetsu lets out a longish moaned and shuts his eyes at the feeling of your warm, wet walls sucking him in half way. "Y/n~" he moans your name and begins to thrust his hips slow and fucking the rest of his length inside you. "A-am I being too rough? Is this ok?" He asked with soft broken moans between his sentences.

"It's so good~" Your moans drag out, and your sharp nails dig into the sheets. "Keep going~ You and Akaza prepared me, remember?" You giggled with broken moans, "so it doesn't hurt. Be as rough as you want to. I love it!" You said. Aizetsu's thrusts began to sped up at your words and his hands grabbing your hips tighter with his nails digging into your skin.

"Hah~ Her pussy looks so pretty taking my cock" Aizetsu's mouth fell open, becoming a moaning mess and getting pussy drunk. His eyes are locked on your pussy and watching his veiny cock slide in and out easily and seeing your cream form a white ring around his cock.

"Oh yeah, it almost slipped my mind. There's one rule I have for you," Akaza said, stepping closer to Aizetsu and smirking at how your ass jiggles from the back shots. "A rule? What is it?" Aizetsu asked, not fully focused until his vision was at akaza and a painful tug on his hair, causing his thrusts to come to a full stop. Akaza had grabbed a fist full of his hair and looked at him with murderous eyes. "Don't you dare cum inside her inside her." He said and kept his grip.

"U-understood..." Aizetsu whimpers softly with a nod. He gasped at his release and watched as akaza went on the bed in front of you "continue to fuck her. But more roughly now," Akaza said as if he didn't just scare Aizetsu out of his mind. Aizetsu continued to continued, now fucking you more hard and watches as your pussy and your hole thob and your moans becoming louder.

Akaza's hand grabs under your chin with a chuckle and squished your cheeks lightly. "That face really turns me on," he said and slipped his thumb in your hung open mouth and watched your drool spill from your lips. "Cock drunk already? You look so pretty getting fucked. Maybe next time Aizetsu can fuck you in front of a mirror to see how pretty you look" Akaza said slipping his fingers inside your mouth playing with your tounge.

"Lord A-Akaza~," you managed to call out with your tongue being played with and started to suck on fingers. "Sucking on the wrong thing pretty girl" he said and holds his cock to your face. "This is what you should be sucking on. C'mon. Suck it like the good girl you are, yeah?" Akaza rushed his tip past your wet lips until you opened your mouth to take his cock in your mouth.

You bob your head and use your hand to hold his cock in place while moaning on it. "Ah~ she got so tight at your praise. You really are a good girl," Aizetsu said and snapped his hips harder, making your body jerk forward and his skin smacking on yours. "Taking two big cocks at once and being so pretty while you do~ haa you clench around me so hard, do you like being called pretty?" Aizetsu asked and watched as you nod your head with Akaza's cock in your mouth.

"Pretty girl who's sucking this cock just right" akaza pet's your head "while creaming on the other~ fuck I'm gonna cum in your mouth. Can i fuck your throat pretty girl?" Akaza asked. You nod your head and took your hand off his cock to place your both your hands on his thighs, holding them tightly. Akaza flexes his abs, laying back slightly as he starts to thrust his hips upwards while grabbing onto your hair.

"Breathe through your nose. Yes, that's it~ You're doing so good. Such a good girl," Akaza moaned. You felt his cock hit the back of your throat and breathing heavy through your nose while moaning with small gagging sounds. "Get ready to swollow it. Fuck~ I know you can do it baby" Akaza's body lays back fully and his head going back "fuck I'm cumming~" he moaned clenching his teeth together as he cums down your throat.

"M-me too" Aizetsu whimpers and leaned down to rub at your clit while moaning in your ear. "I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm c-cumming!" Aizetsu gasped and sat up quickly to pulls his cock out, almost forgetting Akaza's rule and shoots out his cum onto your onto your pussy.

Aizetsu went back to rubbing your cum covered pussy and watches your legs shake intensely as you squirt on his hand. Once you've drank all his cum your mouth quickly pulls off his cock, screaming in pleasure until your squirting came to and end.

The room was filled with heavy breaths calming down from the intense orgasms. Akaza slowly got up from the bed to see your fucked out pussy and then looked at Aizetsu "I'm serious. You'd be dead if you came in her, but good job for making her squirt," he said, and Aizetsu only nodded.

"Go see if lord muzan has arrived yet. I still don't sense his presents. I have to take care of y/n right now," Akaza said, looking at your head and resting on his thigh. He smiles and begins to pet your head softly while looking at Aizetsu. "I'll let you join next time. How does that sound?" Akaza asked, and you looked at Aizetsu with a weak smile and giving him a flirtatious wink.

"I will definitely join next time..."

[neuroticboyfriend]

A lot of the time when professionals interact with psychotic people, they try to reduce our distress by getting us to stop believing things. For me, that only made things worse. It was confusing and distressing. I felt angry, scared, and misunderstood. The best way I've found to cope with delusional thinking is something I discovered on my own. I'll give an example here so, huge TW for unreality and paranoia.

Scroll away if you're not able to hear delusional thinking.

Yesterday I started freaking out thinking people could hear my thoughts. This is something I've occasionally experienced since I was a child. When this comes up, I always think there's some massive conspiracy, where everyone can hear my thoughts but they react to me as if they don't hear anything. And they're all in on it. This time, it was triggered by intrusive thoughts that I started judging myself for.

As you can imagine, this is distressing. I started talking to people through my mind, which only made it worse. I couldn't focus on what was happening around me. What I did to reduce that distress is.. weirdly nonchalant. I just sat there and thought "Well, if this is true, it's not like they're going to change how they interact with me. Everything is the same as it was. Nothing I can do about it, might as well just keep on keeping on."

That calmed me down enough to start focusing on what I was doing, and eventually completely forget about it until now. Whenever I try to treat my delusional thinking as something I have to stop immediately... it literally only makes my mind double down. But if I work within what I believe - what I "know" - I can find another way to look at it that isn't so scary.

This works with my hallucinations, too. I sometimes see shadow people; they're more like jump scares than anything. They startle me, and I start to wonder if people I'm looking at are real. But that latter part only really happens if I get fearful of them. To avoid that fear, I try to think of the shadow people as just friends watching over me, checking in. They don't do anything, after all. They just pop up, stand there, and disappear.

(Talk of unreality ends here)

So, yeah. This doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't always work for me depending on what I'm experiencing/how I'm feeling. But without this, I'd be far worse off; it doesn't take too many missteps for me to spiral. I guess my point is, my reality doesn't have to be "normal" for me to be healthy as a schizophrenic person. It just has to be something I can live with, as happily and safely as possible.

And that's ok. Neurodivergent people are allowed to exist, and some people are helped best by finding ways for them to exist as they are without so much distress - rather than trying to eliminate troubling symptoms entirely.

[whispered-harmony]

Ghost Sangwoo: you couldn't have gotten on that plane?

Newly Ghost Gihun: You couldn't have let the fucking money go?

------

Ghost Ali: *to Gihun* Hyung! I can't believe you're here with us! I was so upset about what happened! When I saw you joined the games again I was so shocked! you could say I--

Ghost Sang woo: Please don't Ghost Ali: *glancing at Sangwoo* lost my marbles Ghost Sangwoo: I said I was sorry!

------ Ghost Sae byeok: but still. how did you not get that something was off with that In Ho person? his fake name gave it away Newly Ghost Gihun: ah. but there is one thing you failed to discover about me.

Ghost Sae byeok: and what is that? Newly Ghost Gihun: I am an idiot ---- Ghost Sangwoo: the former cop, the salesman, AND the Frontman. I didn't know you'd turn into a slut after I died. Newly Ghost Gihun: okay. First of all, I was already a slut. Second, I didn't even sleep with any of the men you mentioned. Third, you had many chances to fuck me but instead you decided to fuck me over. Ghost Sangwoo...does the offer still stand? Newly Ghost Gihun: of course the offer still stands! Ghost Sae byeok: First of all, you could have had any conversation in front me. Second, you could have had any conversation in front of me. Third, you could have had any conversation in front of me. ----- Ghost Ali: Hyung? Can I ask you a question? Newly Ghost Gihun: of course! you can ask me anything. Ghost Ali: what was up with the red hair? Newly Ghost Gihun: you can ask me anything I can answer. ---- Newly Ghost Gihun: In the end, I couldn’t convince enough people to stop playing. I failed to end the games, so… I don’t know if it was all worth it. Ghost Ali: Hyung... *stops when he notices someone walking down the street* Isn't...isn't that that the winner of this year's game? SQ Winner: there. This check is for 1 billion won. You can use this to pay off your debts and your mom's hospital bills. Person: thank you so much! I promise I'll pay you back! Once I pay my debts I'll borrow more money-- SQ Winner: no! you don't have to do that. If..if you want to pay me, you can do it on your pace at whenever is truly convinient for you. Or..or you don't have to pay me. At all. Person: this is a lot of money. you're practically giving it away. SQ Winner: no. I'm just..I'm just making you sure you don't go through.. *pauses* any more hardships. Person: thank you! I'll never forget this! SQ Winner: you're welcome! and stay away from hot guys with brief cases! Person: okay...? Ghost Ali: *to the winner who obviously can't hear him* good for you! Ghost Sae byeok: the principle you were fighting for..about how not everyone will succumb to greed and that there's still for humanity..I think we just proved it with this person. Newly Ghost Gihun: but it's just one person Ghost Ali: maybe..maybe the person they helped would pay it forward and those people would do the same! Ghost Sae byeok: And then they might end up helping more and more people. Ghost Sangwoo: and maybe that would be enough. Newly Ghost Gihun: yeah... maybe that would be enough. ----- In ho: Seong Gi hun was just an example of why you shouldn't try to... *continues to talk about Gi hun* Ghost Sangwoo: oh. Stop obssesing over Gi hun, already! You lost. His after life ass is mine. Ghost Ali: I mean no ill will, but the Front Man is kind of better looking than you, Hyung. Ghost Sae byeok: yeah, I think if he died and turned into a ghost he could have a shot with Gihun. Ghost Sangwoo: I hate both of you Ghost Sae byeok: oh what are you going to do? Kill us? Ghost Sangwoo: Ghost Ali: Ghost Sae byeok: Ghost Sangwoo: I said I was sorry!

[watarfallar]

Desert Duo treats because it's a week until Christmas

Grian: I’m going to get so much done today. Scar: I’ll hold you to that. *8 hours later* Scar: So how much did you get done? Grian: One thing. Scar: Well, that’s one more than usual.

Scar: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Scar: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Scar: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Scar: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Grian: Yeah? Scar: Bitch.

Grian: *Gives a bouquet to Scar* Scar: You know I'm allergic. Grian: That's the point.

Grian: Is this mistletoe? Scar: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Grian: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Scar: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.

Grian: What have I done wrong?! Scar: Everything. For your entire life.

Scar: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message. Grian: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

Scar: What is wrong with you? Grian: Many, many things… Grian: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Scar: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! Grian: You should say something else.

Grian: My back hurts. Scar, walking into the room: Take the spine out.

Scar: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Scar: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Grian: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Scar: Ominous positivity.

Grian: Scar, what did you just do!? Scar: I took your advice. I stopped running from the problem and I tackled it head on. Grian: I meant try emotional honesty, not murder!!

Scar: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Grian: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Scar: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end. Grian: Dear God! Scar: Yeah! Exactly!

Grian: You've got to act tough, Scar! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Scar: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Scar, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Grian: Don’t preach to me about romance, Scar. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Scar: What’s sexting? Grian: I'm not having this conversation with you.

Grian: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you. Scar: Aww, thanks— Grian: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

Scar: What’s your greatest weakness? Grian: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Scar: Could you give an example? Grian: Yes, I could.

Scar: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Grian: AS ENEMIES?! Scar:

Scar: I desire moisture. Grian: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Scar: Babe, you're so funny! Grian: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you. Scar: Awwww, that's sweet of you!

Grian: I didn’t want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Scar do it!

Scar: You got a date yet Grian? Grian: No… Scar: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Grian: Dammit, you ruin everything! Scar: You're welcome.

Scar: They called me the B-word. Grian: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Scar, talking about Grian: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

[thefandomenchantress]

General Thoughts About Eden's Garden

I have, at long last, finished chapter one of Eden's Garden. And I really liked it! While it wasn't perfect, I still really enjoyed playing it and am very glad I got to experience it. Since I wasn't around for the Another fangames, this is the first time I've been able to keep up with a project like this as it's coming out, and it's been really cool.

So, without further ado, let's get started! Project Eden's Garden spoilers below. :)

I'll start with my criticisms, since I don't have a lot of them. Honestly, my biggest complaint has to be the technical issues I faced while trying to play this game instead of watching it. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend making a game is easy by any means, so I don't really hold that against the game, even if it was frustrating.

Plus, I'm an idiot. I sat for like half an hour trying to figure out the Non-Stop debate controls and thinking my WASD thingy was malfunctioning and not letting me switch truth bullets, when there was only one truth bullet I was allowed to use at the time. I was just being stupid and not catching on when it only showed me one truth bullet in the corner, haha. The repeated crashing of my game, however, wasn't my fault. But I was able to get my hands on a work-in-progress low-spec version of the game that stopped most of the crashing and stuff! After that, most issues went away, except for after the trial ended and the after-trial dialog wouldn't pop up, leaving me on a black screen even after a restarted my computer and tried a few more times. But I'm not too unhappy about that, it's not like I was missing any riveting gameplay sections, haha. I could just watch the YouTube version of the execution and stuff.

Other than those technical difficulties on my end, there are only a few actual problems I had with the gameplay, haha. The first being that I am terrible at bullet hell-styled gameplay, apparently, and Argument Altercation kicked my ass in normal mode. I really wish there was a way to switch your difficulty on that, or maybe checkpoints, because after about thirty or more tries of not being able to get past stage three, I gave up and ended up just getting my hands on a save file from after the minigame. I may love videogames, but that does not mean I'm good at them, haha.

As for the actual writing, I don't have too many complaints...I suppose if I had to say something, though, it'd be that some of the characters felt like they didn't have enough to do this chapter. Ulysses is probably the main one I felt this applied to, even if I love him, he didn't give us too much this chapter, other than a lore drop during the pharmacy investigation (His limited screentime didn't stop me from growing attached to him, though haha). Other characters, despite getting a little more screentime, felt like they didn't really develop at all in the grand scheme of things. But I don't want to focus in on this too much, since it's only chapter one and most characters usually don't start having any big changes until a murder occurs. And the disproportional screentime may just be the writing style of Eden's Garden being that they focus on a certain group of characters each chapter, when they have the most relevance. Wenona, for example, feels like she's being set up to be a larger player down the line, even if she wasn't a super major character this chapter.

There was a lot more I liked about the chapter than disliked, though! All the characters really grew on me, for the most part. Well...Almost everyone. There is one character who I'm kinda meh on right now, since I'm not quite sure what they're going for yet. He's entertaining, I like him fine, but he's not quite on the same level as everyone else. And that character is:

Jett.

Honestly, I think the main reason I'm having trouble is just how he treats Toshiko.

Jett, why are you picking on a literal child??? What are you doing??? This wouldn't bother me if I knew an explanation for it that gives cool insight into his character, but as is I'm just kinda annoyed at him for it. Then again, I haven't bothered to experience any of his FTEs yet, so it's possible he gives some sort of explanation for his child-belittling ways there, haha.

The Mark and Jett thing was fine, I'm liking the set-up there. I think the only difference that makes me like the Jett and Mark stuff over the Jett and Toshiko stuff is that Damon actually calls Jett out for not respecting Mark's boundaries, meanwhile no one really reprimands him for belittling Toshiko because of her age. When he shares her blackmail, no one says "Hey, man, that wasn't very cool of you." They just shrug Toshiko's blackmail off and say no one should share anything else. Wolfgang even calls her blackmail a "joke". No wonder Toshiko is so desperate to be respected, everyone but Ingrid is so rude to her (I can forgive Grace, though, because the gremlin bit was the funniest thing in the prologue to me).

Of course, if they end up calling out his behavior towards her later, as well as everyone else's, I'll be happy and probably end up liking him more. His whole never taking off his helmet thing is pretty cool, I'm interested to see where that goes and to see any character development he has. And him and Cassidy's little friendship being established through gaming was fun.

...Writing all this out actually made me appreciate Jett a little more, since I don't think I would be able to say this much about some of the other characters...I mean if I felt something other than passive enjoyment maybe they’re doing something right…

Oh, right, there were other characters this chapter. Let's get onto them!

Damon was just as entertaining as last time, I'm excited to see what happens next with him. Him letting Diana defend herself made it seem like he was going to be more empathic to others and improve, but Eva betraying him might mean he starts trusting the others even less than before.

In daily life, Eva...Might've been my favorite. Don't get me wrong, Kai is still my favorite character overall, but I loved Eva in daily life so much. Her "Bweh..." and "Raaaage..." voicelines are some of my favorites in any fangan and I'm happy I experienced all her FTEs. I loved her in daily life, deadly life was...Still fine and good, the execution was super well-animated and cool. But her being the culprit did sort of undercut my enjoyment a little, since it sort of calls into question the truthfulness of certain aspects of her character that made me like her. Still really cool, though.

Kai was great. I'm going to make a post dedicated to him later, where I'm sure I'll ramble on and on for a while, so for now I'll keep it brief. He was just as funny as last time, surprisingly helpful in the class trial, his large amount of screentime was a pleasant surprise to me, I'm super excited to see if he'll be the new support, and his FTEs were really cool. I'm super hyped to ramble about everything concerning him later.

Ulysses, despite his limited screentime, managed to be pretty charming this time around. Him already telling backstory stuff to us makes me a little worried for if he'll die soon, but oh well. Him literally saying "um, actually" when he starts his objection was great. Toshiko calling him ugly in...the Prologue, I think(?), was blatantly incorrect because I really like his design. There's something about his color scheme that I enjoy, idk. Plus, owls are my favorite animal, so I was pretty much guaranteed to like his theming.

Diana being heavily suspected by the fanbase and then being suspected in-universe in the trial was cool, the whole "choose the culprit" minigame legitimately tricked me into thinking it was her for a hot minute...Until I remembered how much unused evidence we had, haha. Excited to see where she goes from here.

Wolfgang...Damn those sprites in the Diana flashback were cool. I should definitely check out his FTEs to get a little more context, but wow. While I'm not surprised he was the chapter one victim, I'm a little disappointed we'll never hear more from him.

Grace was great, her demeanor is kinda similar to another favorite character of mine, so I've become pretty endeared to her. I'm interested in seeing where the bunny symbolism goes, and how she'll react to Wolfgang being gone. She had no FTEs (her actually responding when I tried to enter her dorm (I was doing an experiment to see if I could enter anyone but Kai's and Damon's) jumpscared me haha), so I'm guessing she'll live a bit longer and receive some character development! Yay!

Wenona was fun, her attitude was as entertaining as ever. She's probably one of the characters I most want to go do the FTEs of, I'm interested to hear more about her.

Desmond and Eloise's friendship was fun, the scene where they try to get Grace to let them in Wolfgang's room was definitely the highlight of both their characters for me this chapter. Eloise standing up for herself during the confrontation and Desmond backing her up without hesitation was awesome. Can't wait to see their friendship expanded on (And Desmond being angsty during the closing argument was hilarious).

Toshiko and Jett already had most of my thoughts laid out above. Jett I've mostly finished describing, but I did like Ingrid and Toshiko's friendship this chapter. Toshiko's whole pretending-she's-totally-not-freaking-out-and-being-actively-traumatized thing was good, I liked how she was desperate to sound smart in the trials, it fits her character.

Mark was a little ruder than I thought he'd be going in, but I'm not complaining. While I don't think anything topped "Grace, call the fire brigade" this chapter, some things got pretty close, like his annoyed facial expression when you agree with him. Him not wanting to be acknowledged at all at the gaming tournament was interesting, I'm excited to see where they take his character.

Ingrid...Was fine. I'll be honest, I was a little disappointed at how my view of her failed to change at all this chapter. Even her blackmail was something we learned in the Prologue already. Still, I can appreciate her. Even if she didn't change much this chapter, I still like what she is right now. She's all-around pretty cool, and I like how she makes sure to defend Toshiko, unlike some characters I know. /j

(Her being called "reliable" made me immediately feel like she might not last long, though... :()

Jean is pretty interesting to me so far, Cassidy suggesting that he might just be posing as a 'pirate' was intriguing. Him saying there was an arcade on his ship made me think of a crack theory that he worked at a Chuckie Cheese type place, but instead of there being a strange mouse, you could hang around at his prop ship and take pictures with him and his "crewmates" (Co-workers or employees) in costume, with an arcade and snack bar nearby...His knowledge of machinery stuff is also cool. I should check out his FTEs.

Cassidy's whole gaming gimmick is cool, and I like her, but I think if I'm being honest, her fun design and awesome voice actor kinda carry her for me. I don't think she'd be one of my favorites to hear speak otherwise. Some of her voicelines are just hilarious by themselves, too, though ("I better zip up my fly, my genius is showing" was my favorite, like what the fuck that is so random and funny and she only uses it once). She's a character who I don't think I'd find nearly as funny if the vocal delivery wasn't as on point as it is, but seeing as it's totally awesome and on point I have nothing to complain about she’s really cool haha.

And those are all my general thoughts on each of the characters. Now onto a few individual moments I really liked!

I replayed the Prologue before playing through chapter 1, and something really cool I noticed was that when they're on the train, this happens after Cassidy says she smells something weird:

I thought it was really cool how they subtly foreshadowed his lack of a sense of smell like that! The devs really thought his character through from the beginning, I suppose.

But moving on to chapter 1, specifically the trial. One detail I really liked was this:

“Near the boiler room door, I discovered a thin piece of metal.”

“During the investigation, there was a strange smell permeating the boiler room. It took me a moment to notice, but when I did…”

Damon takes credit for both the scrap metal and the smell.

This happens very directly with the metal, where he says that he discovered it. While he does admit he didn't think the metal was important before, what he fails to do is give credit to Ulysses for pointing it out to him, since Damon didn't notice it until Ulysses did. And when Ulysses did notice it, Damon berated him for even writing it down. And yet now here he is, pretending that he took note of the piece of metal all by himself.

He also takes credit for finding the smell, albeit slightly less directly. But he still makes it sound like he noticed it by himself, when Jean was the one who had to directly point it out to him. And even then, Damon could only smell the generator at first, and Jean had to further explain what he meant. And Damon pretty much plagiarizes his description of the smell without crediting him, too. You’d think a debater would know how to cite their sources correctly, haha.

So long story short, Damon fails to mention that he got help investigating from both Ulysses and Jean. I find that interesting because even though Damon says he can only rely on himself right before this trial starts, he is actively ignoring that he is only able to steer the trial in the right direction at certain points because of the help he received from others. The game is both proving his point about him only relying on himself (+Eva this trial) wrong, while also letting the player further see his mindset. Pretty cool. (Though I’d honestly be kinda pissed if I was Ulysses haha).

I also really liked Eva this chapter. Legitimately the first chapter death I've been most sad about in any Fangan. Usually I see the fake-out support thing coming a mile away, since it's such a common thing in fangans, but they genuinely fooled me with Eva. I really got attached to her and I'm sad to see her go.

I still haven't really fully processed her character, but what I do know is that she's really cool and relatable and her voice actor is very talented. Her design is amazing. Her sense of humor is immaculate. Overall, amazing character I was devastated to see go.

One cool detail I noticed, in order to commemorate my love for her:

After avoiding Grace, which Damon theorizes was because she didn't want her talent mocked, she investigates the Dining Hall people. And yet, even though she mentions Jett and Mark being unhelpful, she says nothing about Kai.

This could be shrugged off by the fact Kai said something helpful about the footsteps when Damon approached, but since Kai says this info like he hasn't shared it with anyone else, I don't think that's the case. Instead, I think this confirms Damon's suspicion that she is avoiding those who mocked her real talent, since Kai is definitely a jerk about it to her face on at least two occasions. She legitimately just didn't speak with him. That really hits home just how uncomfortable Eva was with a lot of the people in the killing game.

(I'll talk more about this in the Kai post, but Eva not mentioning Kai when you enter the dining hall, and Desmond also not mentioning where he went before that, made me actually start worrying that we were gonna find a second body haha, that's why I noticed this).

Lastly, I'd just like to say:

Even Desmond and Eloise being like "dude no stfu" at Diana in this CG was hilarious and I love it.

[bu-blegh-ost]

The time has finally come, @girlsonlytreehouse !!!

Today I shall share with you the fruits of my work. But first, allow me to take you on a journey I myself have been through while counting all of this shit down.

First things first, I decided to count the rolls in the context of the characters rather than the people playing them, simply because the luck of the actual people could not be measured accurately if I only take Riptide into consideration (and also I thought it would be more fun). The guys have several different campaigns, some that I do not have access to, so I've decided to seperate all their Riptide rolls into characters they play instead, cause then we can clearly see which character is the luckiest. But ofc if you want this to be attributed differently, the data remains unchanged, so that way you all can interpret the results however you wanted and still have all the info you need on hand.

Another issue were the advantage/disadvantage rolls. When a character rolls at advantage, they roll twice and the only roll that counts is the one that was higher, while the other is discarded and the opposite goes for disadvantage. So for example if you roll at Disadvantage and you roll a nat 20 and a 2, that nat 20 technically doesn't matter. Despite that I decided to count each adv/disadv roll anyway, because despite the fact that it does not count, it was still physically ROLLED, which means it contributes to the character's overall pool of luck. I tried to separate them at first so you guys can make your own decision whether to add them or not, but in the end I decided against it cause it was insanely hard to keep up with. There were just too many and too often, which led me to believe that it was fair enough to count everything as long as they actually rolled a dice.

Which brings me to the last complication, which is of course Gillion's Prophetic Screwup. At the beginning of the campaign Gillion was able to exchange anything that he actually rolled into a nat 20, and in return the DM can change any roll he does afterwards into a nat 1. That way there was supposed to be an equal number of wild unrolled nat 20's and nat 1's to balance Gillion out back to 0, but it didn't turn out this way. In more cases than not, Grizzly would either forget or fail to find a good place to screw Gillion over, so the ability bacame much too unbalanced. So they changed it somwhere in the middle of Edison Kingdom Arc. From then on, if Gill rolled anything from 1-10 it would automatically become a nat 1, and if he rolled from 11-20, that'd be a nat 20 instead. Either way these rolls had nothing to do with luck, as he wasn't actually rolling anything, thus I decided not to count these 'artificial' nat 20's/1's. However I did keep track of them nonetheless and I'll still give you the number of those, just separately, and from then on you guys can make your own decision on whether or not you wish to count it.

OOOFFF ALRIGHT.

Without further ado, here are the nat 20's results (up to ep106):

Gillion: 52

Chip: 58

Jay: 55

Goobleck: 8

Surprised? Yeah I was as well. First things first I never expected this to be this close. And never in my right mind could I possibly predict that it would he CHIP of all people to have the highest score here. But I've seen it with my own eyes. And tell you what. Jay had this in the bag for most of the damn series. She would consistently roll good and always when you need a good roll the most. There were times when she would have such a massive lead it was unthinkable she could loose it. But then she would just kinda...stop rolling good for a bit and allow the other two to catch up. It just wasn't as visble if you don't pay much attention, but I thought it to be cute. It's as she was waiting for them <3 But she was still mostly leading. It was only the current arc that made Chip surpass her. After his terrible luck in Feywilde, he bounced back so strongly right after, that he managed to jump in front of the luck queen herself.

And now I bet you're curious about the other side of the coin. Give it up for natural 1's!:

Gillion: 55

Chip: 53

Jay: 52

Goobleck: 1

You see, I kind of expected it to be Gill, but I need you guys to know that this wasn't the case at all times. Jay? Yes. If there is one thing that's consistent is that she had the lowest amount of natural 1s at all times almost, but the person that was suffering from nat 1 curse for a long while was Chip. In the Feywilde Arc he would be so far ahead of everyone, that I was genuinely sure that there is no way anyone catches up to him. But then he popped off in the next arc with nat 20's and Gillion? Oh my gosh, Gillion didn't disappoint. I've never seen a man fail this much let me tell you XD He ended up with the least nat 20's as well, but I thought the difference would be much higher until he didn't roll 4 fucking nat 20s in ep 100 and then this double nat 20 attack roll in the Black Sea whduihdius AND HE CAUGHT UP AS WELL, more or less.

Idunno, maybe this is just how luck works, but it truly seems that the trio shares their successes and burdens almost equally. They support each other and in return fate has their backs as well. Honestly I couldn't have hoped for better results. Also can we give shout out to Goobleck, the true MVP? He's been on the show only for a while but look at this nat1 - nat20 ratio!!! Go goop man goo!!!

So now for the additional stuff that I also counted just for fun:

*Prophethic screwup nats:

Before the rules changed Gillion replaced 8 of his rolls into natural 20s, and in return Grizzly replaced 3 of his rolls into natural 1s.

After the rules changed he only got high enough number for 4 nat 20s, and a low enough number for 7 nat 1s.

So that together makes additional 12 nat 20s and 10 nat 1s from the prophetic screwup alone. I don't think they should be added, but the numbers are there so feel free to do whatever you want with them :)

Downs and death saves:

Throughout the campaign Gillion went down 14 times and rolled 8 death saves.

Chip went down 6 times and rolled 4 death saves.

Jay went down 4 times and rolled 3 death saves.

No shocker here, Gillion dies a lot XD

Knights:

In their journey Gillion knighted 4 people: Julien Booker, Clorton, Garrieth and Duke.

Corruption score:

Thus far each character has the following amount of corruption points (Black Sea):

Gillion: 0

Chip: 2

Jay: 3

Queen: 1

Gryffon: 2 (i think, unsure abt that one, may edit later XD)

Earl: 1

That is all I have for now. I may be clinically insane :)

Good day to everyone and I hope you found this data interesting. Take care <3

[martian-astro10]

Random Observation 1

I've noticed that planets in a house, while being important, carry lesser weight than the lord of that house. I'll give an example of my own chart-

I have sun in 11th and I see many observations regarding it, like how they are extroverts, popular, outgoing and stuff like that, and I've never found them to be relatable, but Saturn is the lord of 10th and 11th for me, and I relate much more to the Saturn in 11th interpretation. Not only do I have a hard time making friends I'm also unable to maintain those friendships, i have a tendency to ghost people, I don't even know why I do that, being around people just drains my energy. I've changed 10 schools, you would expect me to have a lot of friends, but I just have one close friend, I do have a lot of acquaintances but I don't really LIKE them, yk?? I just hang out with them because that is what's required of me, expected of me.

I also have mars, rahu and Venus in 1st house in Aries, but because my 1st lord is mars, my personality I feel, is more martian than venusian. I've always been a very angry child, stubborn, argumentative, always annoyed and irritated, but also the first one to take initiative, be adventurous, willing to try new things, be competitive and I'm confident in my abilities. I have my weaknesses and strengths.

Venus is my 2nd and 7th lord and I feel like I've always related to Venus in 2nd and 7th house. I get attached to money very easily. I remember when I was in 12th, my mom hired a maths tutor cuz I was super bad at it, like in my preboards I got 5/80, and then he would come to my house, he was a good teacher, then my mom told me that she was paying him 3,000 rupees and hour and I literally started crying and I was like "how could you waste this much money, what's wrong with you, I'm such a stupid child, I'm sorry that you have to waste your hard earned money on a child like me" my mom was confused AS FUCK, and then I told my mom to tell him to stop coming, and I taught myself, watched youtube videos, worked my ass off and got 75/80 in boards...yeah. I hate wasting money, it hurts, it's actually painful for me. Also, I love attractive people, I feel like everyone does, but physical appearance is important to me, I can't be in a relationship with someone who I'm not physically/ sexually attracted to.

So...I think that the lord of a house is how you interact with the themes of that particular house. It's just something I've observed and it's okay if you don't agree or relate.

[sandraharissa]

So I never wondered before what happened between Vander and Silco cos I had faith in the writers (my bad) and cos realistically it would require several professional writers to figure this out. I can't come up with a whole scenario, smth that should have been probs a whole episode or many flashbacks to the first revolution to parallel and give context for the second revolution. but since they dropped the whole revolution plotline there was no point in that ig. Now I'm not coming up with a whole plot for s2 to make it connect to a whole plot for the Silco and Vander backstory. I'll just talk about general things when it comes to

How I would do the Vander and Silco backstory:

Silco and Vander meet as young adults, probs in the mines.

Silco is a wide-eyed idealist, he's small and weak making it hard for him to survive from day to day but it's not important to his character (no insecurities, his character is not about that). He cares about and crafts his idea of an independent nation of Zaun. We're meeting a way 'better' version of Silco but he still has all his traits like being a bit of a diva and pettiness and pride and such.

Vander is capable and the 'get shit done' guy. He feels the need to use his strength to protect others. He has a strong sense of justice and fairness. He has anger issues too tho.

Vander uses his strength to protect Silco and so Silco feels safe with him but Vander also has violent tendencies and anger issues. There should probs be some instances where the possibility of Vander being violent with Silco is hinted at.

A la Powder's bombs or Mylo's lock-picking skills no one puts much value on Silco's ideas, everybody immensely respects Vander and his brute strength tho. It's the commonly lived by in the Undercity 'survival of the fittest' vs Silco's silly 'Undercity, united as one'.

Vander loves the idea tho and is Silco's first and biggest fan lol.

They start doing their thing together. At some point they build the Lanes and the Last Drop together.

Silco as a co-leader gets to do his thing, planning the nation and writing in his notebook and such, he's more of a planning guy, not the best in the field. He gets to do his thing but ppl really look up to Vander, with a lot of them not understanding the concept that they should have a shared national identity etc. but they do understand resisting their oppressors and Vander can lead them by example. Ppl admire him cos he rescues ppl and does justice and can kill an enforcer with one punch. Silco also likes that about him. He's the one to take direct action and is more of the pushing force of the revolution. He's like 'bro Zaun sounds amazing and what's stopping us from rounding up our friends and taking out this patrol on the corner? right now?' at Silco. Silco's 'brothers and sisters' beliefs low-key inform the attitude of the rebels even if they still don't get Zaun. He's also the one making all the smart decisions like creating a black market but he's underappreciated for it cos ppl don't directly see the connection between stuff like his scheming/business talents, the Lanes and the living situation getting better. (you could say Vander and Silco were the violence and ideology that make up a revolutionary movement).

As the revolution continues Vander was insistent that they need to push more, that's his mentality cos he was always more capable than others. With Silco being more logical and pragmatic. The stress isn't getting so much to Silco but it is to Vander. What got to Vander was that if he's the one pushing and ppl die bcos of it then it's on his hands and he can't stand it. Especially that it's probs partially self-indulgent. He gets to blow off steam and has an outlet for his violent tendencies. He is not making the best decisions, they are somewhat self-serving and on some level he knows this. Pressure to succeed and get results fast and guilt is getting to him.

Then they're on a mission that's gotta have them both doing different things but somehow connected to the bridge.

Silco and his team, or even bystanders, get caught/get in trouble. Silco starts spouting poetics at enforcers and bcos he pissed them off they decide to arrest everyone (so that's probs a one way ticket) but ppl did get inspired which causes more scuffling, probs ppl die, the situation gets worse but it allows ppl to let Silco escape/hide/he gets knocked out. Vander finds him and they escape via river, they jump from the bridge or from the docks, going further and further away from the shore and the enforcers and they start talking about what happened.

For context Vander and Silco's attitudes are opposite to each other at any time, and they also switch from what they were originally to what they become post their character development moments (betrayal and bridge massacre), they're narrative foils after all. One is at the core selfish and violent and the other is altruistic and for the good of everybody bcos of their lofty ideals. So Vander in his violent era at the end of the day cares about himself and ppl around him and keeping them (like Silco in s1 with Jinx when push comes to shove).

Vander is angry that Silco 'prioritized some "Zaun" over their ppl', starts criticizing his ideology and his ineffectiveness but Silco saw his approach working and decides he should try by himself again, like he did before Vander, with the focus on the whole business enterprise and such, now that it turned out in the last few years that he's good at it. He points out Vander's overly violent tendencies. So they're pissed and stressed cos of the situation, pressure gets to Vander and he feels responsible for every loss that happened. He feels responsible for Silco. If he failed then Vander failed. Then it escalates when it becomes more personal, they start being petty and criticizing each other. Vander stands to lose his most important connection. He feels rejected. Maybe Vander physically prevents Silco from leaving. They start struggling, things escalate, instead of letting Silco go Vander lashes out. And then Vander punches him, gives him the black eye (plus maybe chips his front teeth) and then in the heat of the moment starts drowning him.

Afterwards Vander blames it all on Silco, paints him as worse than what happened. It's easier cos his emotions tell him Silco somehow wronged him (hence the 'you animal' reputation, cos ppl could view it, especially if that's how Vander presented it, as Silco doing that whole thing intentionally, sacrificing his ppl to get a thing done and escaping himself). Vander projects his blame and guilt onto Silco, after years of leading by himself he mellows out and realizes Silco was not at fault but it's years into the cope/lie. He can't do better by himself and his straightforward violent methods don't work well enough for him to be worth it anymore. The bridge massacre is the last straw. Meanwhile Silco learns to be violent on top of being driven by ideology (but also he's not trying to convince anyone anymore of his ideas cos it didn't work the last time, he doesn't preach to anyone in s1 but Jinx).

Add somewhere in there a comment from Vander to Silco about pretty eyes for zaundads and dramatic irony reasons.

[annakabeybeh]

This new Chapter of Batman & Robin is amazing in so many ways. It's plagued with things I cannot begin to say what I love about it, but I'll try anyway.

Spoilers ahead

First: Guilt.

He feels guilty for the events of past chapters. He did his best, but as you know, you cannot always save everyone. His guilt doesn't only come from feeling unprepared but also from his own attitude. Again, PKJ is doing a great job giving Damian personality while making him grow organically. He did something and he's facing the consequences of that. He was mean to someone unpromptedly and that person had an accident that he could have avoided but by being mean he also felt like he was responsible. This guilt is making him do things outside his regular personality. Is it bad? No, he's making changes for good without losing his personality but gaining new attributes and different ways of seeing the world.

Second: Growing, charitability?

Again, guilt is making him do things outside, but also reading about Thomas Wayne, a man who was well-known for helping others. This t the same it feels like this is a recon mission. Again very much Damian, doing certain things just to gather information but it feels like he's in a way understanding Thomas and his way of doing things. Damian has great traits that come from Ra's but combined with Thomas will make Damian a great person. (Ra's want a better world but his methods aren't the best but he does it for a better good.)

I really like this. Damian has never been a bad person but he had never gone to the point of helping outside the costume. He helps people but there's also that feel that he likes fighting (not killing) and the adrenaline and this change, feels like the better but it doesn't feel like he's gonna stop being sassy and snarky at points but a little more mindful of when he tends to be like that. Not a bad thing in my opinion but an actual natural growth and understanding from him.

Third: Accountability.

As he tries to mend his mistakes, the fact that for the first time, he's blaming Bruce for what happened to Alfred makes me so happy. He is taking accountability for his own actions when Bruce hadn't done the same, and he's learning not only from himself but from Bruce.

Damian is trying to learn what to do in his life, what he wants to do, not follow what Bruce does or what his mother and grandfathers (yes, plural) did, in a way it feels like leaving the mantle or stopping being a vigilante. He had died, he had seen things and it is understandable that at any point he questions everything and you know Bruce is not the best example, sometimes barely able to manage both lives and risking his life when he could just ask for help or when he needed rest and I wouldn't blame Damian if he wanted to have a healthy balance from both lives.

The last pages show a Batman depending on Robin, both should have spares, not only one of them. Bruce cares about Damian and he's worried about the changes shown in him, but honestly, worried about him skipping school, come on, he hated it there; patrols, okay that's new. There's a gap between them and there's miscommunication and they share fucking nothing about each other and I hope this time this can change. Damian might feel this as something to be ashamed of. Some way of weakness in him and he has to deal with it. He wanted to talk but he did not talk at all about what was worrying him also Bruce hadn't shared what he knows and the relationship has to go both ways.