#I have one who I sometimes just. Do not like. Like the oc feels too cliche and tropey and everything
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đđđđ đđđđ ââ ⊠h.ih. (one - reunion)
a pretty little thing, who grew up extremely sheltered and has never seen the horrors in life until she gets recuited in a mysterious competition.
‷ pairing: hwang in-ho x fem!oc
‷ genre/tags: fluff, angst, thriller, psychological drama, established relationship, games, action, financial issues, gambling, betrayal, team bonding, family, possessive!sadistic!in-ho, sheltered!sunshine!oc
‷ warning: mention of character's death
‷ wc: 1.3k words
‷ note: this first chapter is so fluffy and a bit emotional but i had fun writing it and i said to myself no prologue just go right into the story
‷ melodyanqel taglist: @buckitostan
The café's honeyed hues bring sweetness to the day, coaxing an inner smile that warms from within.
Behind the counter, a young woman in her twenties is hard at work and her presence brightens the atmosphere like the glowing sun. Myung Yu-na is her name. She enjoys being a barista because she loves creating unique and delicious drinks. It may sound strange to many but sometimes not-so-extravagant things can be a passion.Â
The happy-go-lucky Yu-na is viewed as too pure, wholesome, and, most importantly, very sheltered. Even though she still lives with her parents and they allow her to work and make some money for herself, Yu-na is too protected from the harsh realities and circumstances of the real world. Not once in her life has she seen or experienced any of it.Â
Despite her lack of exposure, she is still a wonderful person. It did take a lot of courage and effort to convince her parents that she wanted to make decisions for herself until she reached adulthood. Yu-na will always love them and be grateful for everything theyâve done for her since she was born.Â
âYu-na! A customer is at the register!â
âOkay!â
She responds to her co-worker and a small grunt escapes her lips when putting the pesky lid on a mocha chocolate frappuccino. She calls out the order and the personâs name. Yu-na sees them approaching the counter. âThank you, miss.â A sweet-looking elderly woman thanks her before taking her drink.Â
Yu-na shows a kind smile. âYouâre welcome. Have a great afternoon,â She said, cordially. âYou too, miss.â The older woman returns the smile and leaves the place.Â
Shortly after, Yu-na walks to the register to place the next order. âWhat can I get for you?â She asked a tall man dressed in dark clothes with a cap over his head, covering half of their face. She hears his deep, gruff voice speak. âYu-na, how have you been?â He gives her a question. The young woman furrowed her brows with a confused look.Â
Instantly, she gasps when he lifts the cap to reveal his face. Her dark brown eyes widened owlishly. âOh my goodness! Uncle Gi-hun!â Yu-na says the manâs name in shock. A small smile plays on his wrinkled face. Hearing her angelic voice in so long makes him elated. She also has her ebony hair in double ponytails, like when she was a little girl.
Gi-hunâs niece responds, âIâm doing good. Iâll explain more when my lunch break starts in ten minutes. But I need your order.â She giggles blithely, her uncle almost forgot his coffee. Gi-hun clears his throat, âYes. One warm Americano, please.â He said. Yu-na punches in his order on the register and gives him the price. She receives his money to pay for the drink and has him wait until it gets done.Â
Within those ten minutes, Yu-na served Gi-hunâs Americano and three more customers. The uncle watches his niece do her best at being quick on her feet, kindly greeting people, and saying goodbye to them. Gi-hun was once like Yu-na before his life became what it is now. His youth was living a simple life with his mother and friends. If only he hadnât made those mistakes and thrown his well-being away. Gi-hunâs expression downcasted.Â
The winner of the 33rd game has the money he desires for a long time, but itâs meaningless to him. Gi-hun will forever feel tainted by the thought and look of the stacks of cash in his space, which is a rundown motel.Â
Momentarily, his train of thought gets interrupted. âIâm ready! Where do you want to start?â Yu-na happily has her cooked ramen cup and sits across from her uncle. He shifts his sitting position to face her with his back leaning against the chair. âHow is everyone? Do you hear much from your aunt?â Gi-hun hops onto the topic of family. He does miss his sister-in-law or his ex-wifeâs sister. Even though Gi-hun was never on good terms with Eun-ji after Ga-yeong came into the world, he does get along with her sister Yu-bin.Â
âOmma and appa are doing well. The restaurant is still in business and they finally realized I should start my own life. I get that Iâm a late bloomer, but Iâll keep on learning. Also, Auntie Eun-ji, I havenât spoken to her since she left around 2021. It is much more difficult because of the time difference and adjusting to a new lifestyle.â Yu-na delivered a full response or an update about herself. She slurps on her noodles like a happy child.
Gi-hun sighed and nodded. âI see. That's great for your parents. I find it fascinating how they can keep running a business before you were born.â He chuckles dryly because he used to own businesses but failed to manage them properly. âI can understand not seeing your aunt as much. I wish to contact Ga-yeong more but I know her mother doesnât want her to. But anyway, Iâm glad you all are doing fine.â Gi-hun sips on his Americano and feels content, like a regular person.Â
He has been out of touch with closure. It must be a miracle that Yu-na is unknowingly helping him.Â
As they continued to talk, Gi-hun discovered new things about his niece. She has done a lot these past years; majoring in digital marketing because she gravitates towards creating her brand of art and clothes, making new friends, and going out more. Gi-hun can tell itâs a family thing to build your own business. He is even proud that she is becoming an independent woman.Â
âHow about you uncle? My family and I have been wondering where youâve been. Iâm also sorry for your omma.â Yu-na questions about his absence and she couldnât help but mention his mother. It was devastating when she and her family received the news about her death because she practically raised both Yu-na and Ga-yeong.Â
The older man answers the best he can to make it sound convincing. âIâve been working overseas because I decided to wake up and find a better job. And I did. Iâve earned more than I usually get during my gambling days, which are done for. I got so busy that I couldnât be at home as often. I then started to get homesick so Iâm doing more of my duties here.â Gi-hun doesnât want to look crazy in front of Yu-na if he talks about the game and has been searching for the so-called salesman.
As a pure and innocent girl, she takes his response as the truth.Â
âI also took the time to heal when my omma passed. But thank you for your condolence.â Gi-hun truly appreciates Yu-naâs sympathy. She says to him, âOh wow! I hope you are proud of what you are doing. Iâm sure your omma is too from above.â Her beautiful face draws a reassuring smile.Â
Gi-hun feels the warmth spread across his cold, dark heart. He hopes Yu-na will never forget herself. She is still young, vibrant, and has a long life ahead.Â
Thirty minutes felt so short, but it was worth having a moment of peace and freedom. Before Yu-na goes back to work, she sees her uncle standing up from the chair and moves aside with open arms. She mirrors his actions and to enter a long-awaited hug. It was comforting and full of love. He needed this.Â
When they pull away from the embrace, Gi-hun says one last thing before leaving the cafĂ©. âI wish you the best of luck on everything you do. And remember this, please make good decisions because I know itâs hard being careful but I know youâre smart and can handle anything. Stay safe out there.â He doesnât know whether this will be their first and last time together, but he believes sheâll follow his advice.Â
Yu-na delivers a merry smile. âAlright, uncle. Thank you for making my day.â She expressed joy that brought fondness in Gi-hun's dark gaze. âYouâre welcome. I hope to see you again.â The uncle bids his farewell to his niece who nods her head in a silent yet sincere response. Yu-na sees Gi-hun walk out of the cafĂ©, feeling a bit bittersweet.
She hopes to see him again as well.Â
series masterlist | two
#squid game#squid game fic#squid game fanfic#squid game in ho#in ho squid game#in ho x reader#in ho x you#in-ho x reader#hwang in ho#in ho#hwang in ho x reader#hwang in ho x you#hwang in-ho x reader#hwang in ho fanfic#front man#the frontman#squid game front man
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I know very little about Irene, other than the fact that she's the vestige. Info dump to a newcomer?
Omg I feel like Iâm going to end up waffling a lot lol whatever this is my time to shine đ„Ž
so apart from the fact she was a self insert turned oc, sheâs originally a nereid in her past life which is how she met mannimarco and formed some kind of ârelationshipâ with him, she ends up dying somehow (still trying to figure that outđ) and then gets reincarnated as a Breton born in Daggerfall. Her father owns the rosy lion inn whilst her mother is a homemaker and she is the youngest of three kids and gets coddled the most by her parents (daddies girlđ) her older brother is an architect who moved to wayrest for work and as for her older sister Iâm still trying to figure it out lol
she learned how to use a sword at a young age alongside one of her close friends Layla (Redguard) which is another oc of mine with the two of them being taught by her father who is really good with swords or something like that. Sheâs also good with a bow and enjoys riding her horse lady which was a present her father gave to her on her 18th birthday
her hobbies include, sword fighting/duelling, riding, archery, thinking about her crushes, hanging with friends, eating dessert, being in her roomđ oh and embroidery too which was mostly bcs of Laylas influence as sheâs a seamstress
She had dreams of growing up and becoming a knight by joining one of the knightly orders in high rock, either the lion guard or knights of the dragon but then she realised that she doesnât like the idea of potentially ending up as some guard standing outside some castle so she settles on wanting to be a knight errant (somehow) and/or a world renowned duelist, you can tell she really likes sword fightingđ€
and for some reason at the age of 14 she woke up and decided that she was sick of wearing dresses all the time which is how she entered her âtomboyâ era which is why its probably very rare to see her wearing a dress now unless itâs for a special occasion, I like to think she got more comfortable in her own femininity as she got older but she still has a few tomboyish traits
Even though sheâs now more feminine I like to think she has a larger number of female admirers compared to men, and Iâd argue that sheâs more of a gentlemen that most men nowadays which is probably why the ladies swoon when they see herđ© but that doesnât mean she doesnât have her fair share of male admirers tho she just doesnât care about them that much, especially on hearts day when she receives a shit tone of love letters (being a hero and gaining celebrity status can do that to youđ)
sometime after the planemeld she gets taken under vanusâ wing as his apprentice (forming a sort of playful fondness for him) so that she can further her magic skills which she low-key doesnât really care about, sheâs all about the way of the sword but regardless she doesnât mind switching to being a spellsword. Incidentally she finds herself also taking up and apprenticeship with the lich Vastarie in grahtwood (ig she ends up spending time there so I should make a design for her at that point) where she learns a more âethicalâ form of necromancy despite her vocal distaste for it making her a hypocrite đ€Ą but she doesnât practice it afterwords, more like stores that knowledge in her brain just for the sake of learning and satisfying her curiosity whilst also making sure to keep it a secret, especially from her mentor vanus đ
in terms of other random things, she has a cat called pudding who she would destroy the world for, has a big fat crush on mannimarco despite hating him, crushes on too many older men (vanus, Verandis, sotha sil, etc) đ can have a few strong political views/opinions, has negative opinions on the sload that borderline on genocidal and she likes to drink alchohol quite frequently but not to the point of getting drunkđ
oh and she also ends up adopting a daughter in the 4th era, a half Breton half Altmer girl called Sereia who is basically her and mannis biological child that was created by akatosh to act as his champion or something but basically sheâs my ldb oc and I have a whole post HERE explaining her backstory
she is NOT mother material, older sister mostly and maybe aunty (sheâs Tiber septims great great grand aunt) at best but whatever sheâs making it work đ
#I feel like I have a lot to say about her but this is what I could spit out lol#Ask#oc: irene maristella
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GOOD MORNING @that-seems-stupid-lets-do-it !! HERE COMES MORE LUMI RAMBLES AND HOPEFULLY MY BRAIN WON'T RANDOMLY DIE THIS TIME!!
So I wanna talk more about them in Nightcord cuz I feel like I focus too much on their sibling dynamic with the Hinomoris whenever I ramble about them, oopsie. Also (I'm writing this sentence after I finished writing everything else) tw, I got into a lot of dark topics cuz Lumi has a dark backstory and such.
So, Lumi isn't very confident in their singing voice and feels their only good contributions to N25 is managing the social media pages. The others don't agree, which is why eventually they started easing them into letting them sing sometimes!! Kanade told them that they don't have to always sing, that they can do it when they're comfortable, but also that she thinks Lumi's voice is sweet and pretty. This makes Lumi very happy and they try their best to sing more often.
When Lumi initially joined, the group jokingly called them the group's "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," which both flustered Lumi and made them feel honored. They were always making sure everyone was feeling okay, letting them vent to them, making sure they were eating, drinking water, and resting (despite being horrible with doing all of this self-care for themself).
However, for one person, the girlfriend/boyfriend joke was not much of a joke after several months... No one knows how, but Lumi and Mizuki became a thing at some point. All they know is that Lumi told them the day after it happened and of course everyone was shocked, except Mafuyu saw it coming from a mile away with his sixth sense or something idk. It was probably very obvious that they had feelings for eachother whenever they'd do their irl meetups, because Lumi was always the chattiest with Mizuki, and they'd always hold hands with each other or snuggle in the booth in the diner, insisting on sitting together all the time.
Also, I've had this scenario in my head on how a Nightcord sleepover would go with Lumi being a part of the group, and the entire time they're just cuddling eachother. That's it. That's the sleepover. (Lumi was originally intended to be a polycord insert rather than just MizuLumi, but I got a random Mizuki hyperfixation one day and from there MizuLumi was born. Now, they're pretty much in a qpr with the rest of N25.)
ONG I NEVER SHARED THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THEM IN NIGHTCORD.
So, everyone has their usernames that they go by to keep themselves anonymous or whatever... Lumi's is Lumi*neon. Yes, it's a pokemon reference. Is it their favorite pokemon? No. But is it in their top 10? Absolutely. C'mon, Lumineon almost shares a name with them!! Am I the only weirdo who thinks it's really cool when something in a piece of media shares a name with me?? Yes, even my deadname (which has not happened, considering I have a rare spelling, but I've had several close calls).
Ofc every Nightcord member has their reasons for wanting to disappear, and Lumi is no exception (is it really an OC if you don't traumatize and torture them?). I mentioned in the last ramble that they have trauma. It was from their birth family. They did not have a very happy life with their old family that they were born with in America. I'm not going into details, but just picture what you'd imagine a not so happy family looking like. They eventually got put into an orphanage and I have no idea how, but the Hinomoris got them and helped them recover a bit, but Lumi still wants to disappear. They feel they can't be loved, and they're slowly learning to accept that they are loved; by their family, by their friends, by their girlfriend. People love them.
Initially, they weren't sure what they were going to do when they were older, kind of similar to Mafuyu in a sense except because they were discouraged from their old dreams, they wanna divulge completely away from them and into something more "successful" (as music and art were once their passions). Eventually, probably if I were to make a version of them that ages up when the rest of the cast does during the third anniversary, they'd figure out that they want to be a teacher. Of course, that means they can't be a part of N25 anymore. Working late at night and barely sleeping before you have to wake up early to go to school? They couldn't ever manage that. They're planning on being in Nightcord until they graduate college, however, no one in the group knows that, not even Mizuki. Lumi is too scared to tell the others their dream because they don't want to be separated from the others.
I think that's basically all of their Nightcord stuff, but I do have more about them and what they were like when they first came to Japan, just cuz I find it really interesting how different they were from their current self!!
So, they were traumatized. They came to a brand new country with a language they'd never spoken before and new people to call their family. They felt like such an outcast. They were quiet, like very quiet. They didn't speak unless it was necessary. They were always scared to do things without asking first, even things such as getting a s acl or using the restroom. They flinched when people went near them and would often just isolate themselves in their room and do nothing except get wrapped in their own head.
Of course the rest of the Hinomori family worried about them, especially Shizuku and Shiho. Shizuku was definitely more visible with her worry, as she was always trying to help Lumi through it, though it was a bit overwhelming for Lumi, and Shiho knew that. That was why Shiho kept her worry to herself. She knew that Lumi didn't need someone immediately jumping on them in order to help fix them, that it was going to take time.
With Shizuku's constant worry and care, Lumi did slightly warm up to her first, as they couldn't tell that Shiho was silently worried for them too. In fact, Lumi was somehow convinced that Shiho hated them, and Shizuku would reassure them several times that she didn't. She knew Shiho was just as worried as she was.
Shizuku uses her sister magic and after over a year Lumi is now the clingiest sibling you could ever imagine, as in they were affectionate. Shiho pretends to hate it, but secretly she's happy for Lumi being able to touch people now (even at the cost of her own sanity KSKAA). Lumi's favorite people for sure are their big sisters.
They have issues with overthinking and nightmares at night, so they can't even sleep by themself. They've gotta be with Shizuku or Shiho.
Also, the language barrier; did Lumi ever learn how to speak Japanese? Nope. They've picked up a few words and phrases, but for the most part it's actually really hard for them to learn, even with Japanese speakers in the house. So, Lumi speaks English for the most part. Shizuku and Shiho know a good bit of English, thanks to them needing it as celebrities if they wanna go around the world, and will usually speak to Lumi in English. They help translate stuff if Lumi needs it, as Lumi does NOT trust translation apps.
Random facts about them!!
No one knows their gender, they're agender AFAB and bind, but people genuinely cannot tell. If I remember right, awhile back I was explaining concepts for N25 trust ranks with a friend of mine and Lumi and Mizuki's first one was something like "Gender? Girlboss." Because people love calling both Lumi and Mizuki girlbosses, when in canon their genders are both hard for the public to tell, so tis their gender now /silly
They dislike marshmallows. They have a fear of them, specifically raw ones. Dried or cooked are fine, but marshmallows straight out of the bag? That's a NIGHTMARE. If they want to touch a raw marshmallow, they will literally pull out gloves. They think that marshmallows are unnatural and weird, despite knowing they're only made of sugar and gelatin. They're a little paranoid about marshmallows (just like me frfr)
Okay, so the way I talked about MizuLumi kinda made it sound like that's the canon ship for this universe, but tbh it's not. Platonic polycord (with Lumi) is most certainly the canon here, however I've completely divulged from it being the main ship. I'm a multishipper, and naturally I've made up scenarios with other possible characters in my head (by "possible," I mean people who they're most likely to interact with in their canon). If I had to choose a non-N25 ship for Lumi, I'd have to say HaruLumi. It was something I thought of one day while going insane from overworking myself. Lumi would most certainly overwork themselves, I thought to myself. I suddenly thought of Haruka, the queen that he is, and suddenly HaruLumi was born in my head. They take care of eachother when they push themselves too far <3 (I also just really like the dynamic of Lumi being the pathetic non-celebrity and being like "Omg Haruka could've chosen anyone to date and he chose ME??" FJDJWKQ THEY'RE SO PATHETIC JFKSKWA /vpos)
Honorable mention to Saki x Lumi (I didn't think SakiLumi sounded cool so I just said that KDKSKS). Platonic or romantic. They're silly. They probably cuddle with 50000 plushies and then one of them will pick up one and kiss the other on the cheek with it, and then they'll go back and fourth with this for the next hour because they're silly.
Also honorable mention to MinoLumi. I have no dynamic for them in my head, so that's it. That's the ship.
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU PHOTOS OF THEIR DESIGN BEFORE I FINISH MY RAMBLES HERE!!
you guys should tell me about your ocs. spare no detail i want to see it. i will not be annoyed with you tell me everything. im a newborn baby lamb i know nothing explain all of it and all of them to me. even if i dont know you
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Larchpaw
She/her, 8 moons, cis molly
#Larchpaw#beetleclan#apprentice#clangen#warrior cats oc#kiriâs clangen#warrior#kiri's clangen#Wow i wonder who this mini Berrymurk is. Surely itâs not his one and only daughter#surely him and his daughter donât have nearly identical sprites save for Larch having a slightly yellower tint and an apprentice pose#But to be so forreal the name Larch is actually really fitting becuase of that becuase larch trees are a conifer that isnât an evergreen.#their needles turn yellow and fall off in the fall which fits because sheâs just a little more yellow than her dad#I also made the pointy parts of her fur point down instead of up like the rest of her family just to show she doesnât look all that much-#-like her grandma Gravelshock#Sheâs technically half-clan and her other parent is unknown so I like to think her other parent had droopier fur (though I have no one in-#-particular planned)#Anyways sheâs sort of friends/rivals with Swallowpaw (who Iâm planning on having as the starting POV for beetleclan) so expect to see and-#-read a lot of her whenever I get to the actual story part#I actually love Larch a lot sheâs very cute Iâm tempted to do her POV at least sometimes#but Idk#Also IâM FUCKING BACK!!!#canât say how regular posts will be considering the computer I use to add the border afterwords is Wigging The Fuck Out Constantly and I-#-can barely use it but Iâve got one more cat queued after this at least so thereâs that!#I canât wait to get to the actual story Iâm gonna do it in fic form with some illustrations scattered throughout instead of a comic (unless#-I feel like a specific moons needs a comic)#and I think Iâll put in on my AO3 whichâll be fun so yeah. Iâm excited to finally get through all these designs hopefully over this summer#and Iâm done with hs now so I can continue working on it during this next year because I donât plan on doing college immediately!! So yeah-#-Iâve got a lot of time on my hands now and Iâm excited to get back to Projects!!#Iâm thinking of doing commissions on my main too (including warriors/clangen designs) so look out for that if youâre interested
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
#dc#dc comics#batverse#batfam#i do feel like i see too much beef and negativity abiut this kinda thing#i prefer to be a#i curate my own internet space#type of guy#but also i get it when your looking for fan content and so much of it is like đ#an interpretation you hate#anyway this is probs obvious but mostly about the robins#like tim is probs one of my fave robins#but people go too hard on the whump for my personal taste#esp when it feels a bit of a disservice to the other characters#give me nuance i love nuance!#of course- fanfic is free and it is also free to not read it so to be clear o dont actually give a shit what people write#be free#go write that ooc chat fic life is short do whats fun#thinkin these thoughts at a party where i only know my dad and my dads friend LOL#wait i have more thoughts- ALSO#it really is funny to me#to be like. wow. i loved this fic#i thought it was SO GOOD#And to be holding that thought and perspective in my head#while also being like. ooph.#picking apart all the problems i have with it now#and like how. maybe id still like it if i just pretend they're ocs?#i can sometimes do that- but not always because i often go to fic for a specific dynamic#and i get really frustrated when i gotta be like. who the fuck is this guy its not the one with their name in the tags#i can sometimes tho
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Do you have an oc that you kinda wanna kill off but can't bring yourself to, for whatever reason?
#Oc asks#Oc questions#Oc stuff#Oc prompts#I just KNOW what people are gonna reply to this but hear me OUT#I have one who I sometimes just. Do not like. Like the oc feels too cliche and tropey and everything#And it'd be more interesting to kill them off#But I know that would mess up alot of story things#I don't hate this oc but sometimes I do. But the oc is still like. Kinda dear to me? Idk#Does anyone understand
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this is smth thats not gonna make sense to most ppl who follow me but 'm Thinking again so tag rambly
#i really miss lightdogs! they were so fun and Yes okay the community. in hindsight. kind of sucked butt#but i had a lotta fun there and even though i DID need the money from selling my dogs i miss them#like i know the sad fam is SAFE and fine and i wouldn't wanna get them back from the person who has them bc i trust that person#and i dont .. know where the silly babies are but im sure theyre fine too#and the few others i had like redwood and whatnot i've made ocs to fit the story roles they had so i don't NEED them back#but idk there was smth about the simplicity of them that i really liked#and i haven't been able to confidently make a new oc who captures that level of simplicity without feeling Bad or making them complex#and idk. friend i like got me into them so theyre nostalgic n happy#its been like .#fiveee years... but i think about them a lot#i don't know if i'd want a Lightdogâą again or if id be happier to just find some sorta medium where i can make a character that gives me#the same emotions that the dogs did#but man if it was still a species you KNOW i'd be busting my ass right now to get sp-inspired customs from the mods LMAO#though by now i'm sure there'd be so many it'd be REALLY hard to pick a theme lolol#idk! rolls around. i'm not big on species anymore and find myself only creating one or two lately and then sorta drifting off bc i do#personal development outside of the species world#but i like the Feeling of being in a community- and when i didnt have Fandomâą to give me community i was like. unhealthy about species tbh#overworking myself and sometimes spending money i didnt really have; i like that now i'm Better about it#but man.......................... critters................................ sigh......#pine prattles#this one really is a fuckin prattle
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe đ#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you đ#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Arisâ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc#oc art#isat#in stars and time#this one didnât take nearly as long as the aris one but I think I suffered for it more from the clothes alone#siffrin made me forget I suck at drawing clothes rip#this was also harder because of how much trickier it was to try and adapt siers design to feel fitting enough for my standards#they have a very stylized design compared to most of the others#I kind of took the lazy route out by keeping most of their original shapes in tact but itâs fine#sier in this au would serve the needed role of emotionally intelligent bestie who is also too scared to cross boundaries to do much#but despite this I do think theyâd actually get the suspicion quest in this au#mostly because mase is a furry artist not a nerd and sier would be more likely to look at aris and go bro. are you in a fucking timeloop.#it also differs in that aris doesnât yell at sier abt it instead looping before they can finish because she canât handle hearing them be#right on the money about this thing that she thought she was handling perfectly#she doesnât want to fail them she doesnât want them to realize sheâs failed them she doesnât want to be a burden she doesnât want them to#ârealizeâ theyâre better off without her#aris is Incredibly resistant to accepting help on most serious issues because shes convinced that itâs her responsibility to deal with it#by herself and that if she canât then sheâs a failure and worse than useless#I mean in canon eternal gales she literally loses her eye and arm because of that#in this au she just lost them how sif lost his eye but she still has. complexes abt all that.#but yeah sier also differs wildly from isa in many Many other ways as does the rest of the cast from their assigned characters#for sier they rly arenât the jock of the group at all instead being more of the guy who keeps the mood lighthearted at all times lest they#die of stress because the others havenât said anything in a whole 30 seconds#aka theyâre the self assigned peacekeeper who doesnât actually need to constantly keep the peace because no oneâs fighting but they still#feel like they need to so they dance and dance and dance for their friends until they collapse from exhaustion#metaphorically ofc#this is why theyâre both terrified to confront aris when she starts acting a bit fucked up but also why they still do sometimes anyways#they talk abt this a lil bit in their friend quest as they talk abt how they want to change but are scared to
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#lolol posting shit so I can complain in the tags#i wanna draw something racy but ahhh I have no one I can draw like that!#i can't bring myself to do it to my oc. even those who are actually provocative like that#i can't do it with fanarts because I respect the characters too much to draw them like that#but I wanna draw something racy! i think they're hard to draw and it would be really cool if I manage to draw one#they also feel more achievable than cooler artworks like background XD#ahhhh#i don't even know what makes something hot TvT sometimes I think I get it most times not#maybe i think it's hot based on how I think society deems something hot but it's actually not hot??????#i'm looking at my only work that I think is racy and I'm like 'oh wait. it's just two dudes almost kissing#what's hot in that?#i dunno how this works
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me ÂŁ1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have ÂŁ300#i don't have the ÂŁ300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think đ
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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Is it ok if I reference your art? I want to make a reference sheet for my character and you're so good at drawing my body type. I would NOT directly trace yours, but it might come out as the same pose as whatever I end up referencing. If that's not okay, I understand and it's completely fine! If it makes you uncomfortable, I will not use your art as a reference. (Sorry I'm bad at wording things)
sure! referencing poses or w/e is super okay with me ^^ also tbh, i don't mind if people trace* my art,
****AS LONG AS*****
they're not posting it, and especially not posting it claiming it's their own. anyone can *privately * use my work to learn shapes or lines or whatever else, tracing is a good tool to feel out the shapes in art.
đ
note: by tracing, i specifically mean breaking down the art to bare bones shapes. finding the circles and squares and bean shapes that compose the anatomy in a piece, NOT just tracing along the lines. direct tracing does not work as a tool, and is something i'm very not okay with happening to my work. ... annnd is something i very heavily encourage you to avoid for the sake of learning on your own.
#most of my poses are super generic imo so very especially okay if you mean standing facing the left with hand up lol.#there's way too much of a stigma against tracing in art communities when like. it's a REALLY good way to get a feel for anatomy and shapes#back in highschool/college i traced uh. luxebytes (yes i know the drama surrounding them forgive me i was in highschool)#coconutmilkyway creamsie okamiwolven n like. a whole lotta other artists i still admire today. not to mention i STILL trace poses in find o#pinterest and google and sometimes tumblr of human people just for practice#n for the record. before someone beats my door down with a bat:#AGAIN. i do NOT mean just tracing over the lines of someone's work. i get how tempting it sounds from a beginner standpoint to just have th#piece look like art style you like but. it's not only super uncool but won't help you learn.#them's my onions. obviously don't reference artists who specifcially ask not to be referenced#but#i dont mind with my art specifcally as long as youre doing it Morally Correct :]#last time i got asked if someone could reference my art they straight up recolored one of my ocs n posted it as their own but i'm assuming#you don't mean that lol <3#ask#anon
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considering making art about the alternate timeline where juniper is a private tutor for a wealthy estate and not elaborating on why
#the problem is I think it would actually annoy me very much to make actual art about 'what if she had stayed with isabelle'#but not explain it agdjfldgsks#honestly her romantic history isn't even an important secret it's just one I've been keeping so long it would feel weird not to anymore#it's for HER to choose to bring up. OR for the DM to drop on her as a random social encounter đ#anyway. june being kept around like a loyal dog because waiting for scraps of leftover affection is better than having none#june learning to be demure and professional while her beloved performs her public facing role as A Wife to A Husband#june telling herself it doesn't matter that they actually do seem happy together. it doesn't matter to see belle look at a man that way#as long as she still looks at her that way too-- sometimes-- at belle's whim-- behind closed doors#june helping raise her children but having no right to call them hers-- having no right even to say how much she loves them#june never wandering the world. she can't afford to go far. her home is here now and anyway the family needs her#she thought about it-- back then- when they broke up over it instead. all of it. sometimes she still thinks about it.#sometimes she thinks about the children belle must have by now and aches so badly she feels she could die#maybe being a mistress to a young noble with little children who need teachers is the closest she could have ever come to motherhood#but she IS doing better now that she's found love again and isn't in the 'well that was my One Chance at not dying alone' zone anymore#my OCs#juniper
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[Lio] the way Iâm like this đ close at all times to coming out as plural online
#liolog#=testing the waters by posting âpersonal OCsâ who all have the gimmick of âwowww they arenât part of any specific story#so they can do anything! wow!â#=hanging out with my fursona for some reason? sure!#=some of them randomly resembling characters I like? itâs called inspiration obviously!#=listen thereâs a furry artist we follow who is significantly popular#=and they have like#=at minimum three OCs very clearly based on one ffxiv character to the point that their names are all similar too#=and people donât give a single shit#=is that person plural? idk. but like. you know? just. literally whatever#=any emotional baggage with our ex(es) aside they did the same thing#=fictives in their system had art posted online as âOCsâ who looked incredibly similar to extant characters with similar names#=and itâs like. ok. at worst sometimes someone goes âlol they look like (source)â to which the most logical reply is#=âyeah I like that character Iâm glad you recognize the influenceâ#=obviously sometimes you have to stretch a bit if youâre a fictive with a very canon compliant appearance but like.#=it doesnât even need to be that different.#=also if someone comments the above you can just be like#=âyeah I was RPing that character but now theyâre so developed they feel different and I am turning my interpretation into an OCâ#=a myriad of options for not exposing yourself lol#=anyways I just. I got tired of not being able to post system shit. so Iâm going to make it everyoneâs problem now
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bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?
#personally I think me making fun of a douchey type of dude is less bad than drawing 'rape is fun' but yknow#ig I can just weigh the gravity of how bad each thing is accurately idk#vent#'yeah but you started to identify with the douche bag character !!' well- even before i realized I wanted to be him- the plot was#already that he was going to grow out of being a dick. him and mj were going to help eachother realize their flaws and become better#to eachother and everyone else. so by the time i DID realize I wanted to be a guy I already had in mind the mature version of him#floating around but I didn't really post about it bc I didn't want to spoil anything at the time#and it took me a LONG TIME to accept that I wanted to be snake. I was trans before that. and then when I was close to accepting it#I had that whole 'lsd' thing that made me slink back into my shell bc the people I was around made me feel like I would never be a guy#so instead I figured if I couldn't be snake then the next best thing was to be *with* him and started to self ship myself w him and he#evolved even more into an even more mature version of him that by the time I got out on the other side of feeling like I couldn't#be a guy I had this more serious and mature version of him in my mind and started to accept that I wanted to be him and basically was him#and just didn't know bc that version of snake was more like me than the one I made in 2013/14#in 2013/14 I was only ever considering my comic in the context of some sort of comedy and just wanted to make a douchey character#to make fun of bc I had a lot of douchey people in my life who I felt like needed to be knocked down a peg and I figured the best way#to do that was to make an example out of them via the old version of snake and have him be an overly confident asshole whos hubris#often gets himself humbled even if hes too prideful to accept or admit it#at this point in time I didn't really see much of myself in any of my ocs. maybe a lil bit in mj and (mostly)peaches bc I didn't know it wa#ok to id with a guy... but even when I did subconsciously id with him here n there...i didnt relate to snakes douchey-ness like at all.#sometimes I jokingly act like a douche but again its for the same reason that I made snake a douche back then in the first place-#to make fun of people like that- to hopefully show them how foolish they are by me mirroring them or. alternatively. making people#laugh at me acting that way because pretending to act like a douche is easier to enjoy and laugh at than dealing w an actual douche#i'd do it with my ex-bestfriend all the time- I made snake such a dick because we'd laugh about it together and bc we wanted to make#fun of the dicks around us who lacked any self awareness and if not that any actual fuck about how lame and shitty they come off#what can I say. it's fun to mock people sometimes.#when I actually started to accept it my first pic I drew of him being obviously trans was in 2016... soo a couple months before I remet#my abuser...#which honestly explains why that whole relationship was so rough on me. I had just finally accepted myself and then this person comes#along and tries to smear me and gaslight me into thinking im Horrible for who I am. like. hello???????#my first time fully being myself was with them and their friend group and they all accepted me until their cult leader told them not to
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