#I have mixed feelings about Embarassment and Sadness

[insideyourmeind]

Now hear me out….unrequited love joyness….but Sadness is the one who doesn’t reciprocate.

Or just. Hear me out. Sadness loves Joy….but it fades out as Joy starts to fall in love with her.

[hurtblossom]

Happier than ever | C.L.16 - M.V.1

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x Singer!reader (Female), Max Verstappen x Singer!reader (Female)

Summary : She moves on, he regrets

Warning : terrible english, charles beeing miserable swearing (like two words i think)

Part 2 of Traitor

Masterlist

liked by maxverstappen , landonorris and 24'768'354 others

ynusername 🤭🩷

see all 15'890 comments

username am i smelling date night ?🧐

username first time seeing max in the likes 🧐 ynusername yall are like the FBI. It's scary

hater she already moved on from charles ? well that was quick

username are you even aware of what went down? hater no need. she's jumping from a driver to another. She's a slut username that's actually embarassing for you

maxverstappen you look beautiful liefde 😘

ynusername tysm 🤭🤭🩷

liked by maxverstappen , carlossainz and 100'886'154 others

tagged : maxverstappen

ynusername HARD LAUNCH because my baby is so cute

see all 80'556 comments

username rue? when was this ?

ynusername right after new years 🤭

username ch*rles looking at this : 😨

carlossainz i'm hearing him sobbing in his driver room ynusername CARLOS don't encourage this 🤣(tell me all about it)

maxverstappen the baby picture really wasn't necessary liefde

ynusername oh but it was maxverstappen where did you get this anyway ? ynusername i can't reveal my sources... IT WAS DANIEL danielricciardo TRAITOR

landonorris you're stealing my husband ?

ynusername i didn't steal anything, he came on his own will 😘 maxverstappen true, i did. landonorris crying and throwing up

liked by 589'445 users

f1gossip max spotted attending Y/N Y/L/N show, and the two spotted after that closer than ever

see all 2'154 comments

username um... privacy?

username istg

username let's all hope he doesn't do her dirty like ch*rles 😞

username if he does, we'll have an album tho... username you're twisted, get some help

liked by maxverstappen , carlossainz and 98'785'136 others

tagged : maxverstappen

ynusername mixed feelings between being horny because he's so hot or being sad because he's so cute

see all 50'869 comments

username you're a pr nightmare

ynusername i'm a dream come true what are you talking about

maxverstappen i don't want you to cry, so the first option it is

ynusername how about you pass by then ? 😏

redbullracing your car is ready whenever you come by Y/N

ynusername that's why you're my favorites scuderiaferrari we miss you... come back we'll let you drive 😞 ynusername alway's when it's too late...

carlossainz now the sobbing is all around the motor home

maxverstappen he should be crying, he lost a diamond maxverstappen i should be thanking him tho ? ynusername stop it both of you i don't want to be all over the F1 drama accounts

landonorris y/n what is this caption ?

ynusername nothing, just an inchident, on the race maxverstappen so much for not wanting to be around drama 🤔 ynusername sorry baby, i'm stchupid

the end

taglist : @toasttt11 , @willowpains , @issi-loves-dannyric , @flowersonstreets , @shimmermotorsport , @landoslutmeout , @lottalove4evelyn , @socially-awkward-eliza

this is the Max Verstappen ending, let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the other versions !

Leave comments because i'd like to make friends 😞😞

[makuzume]

Toge Accidentally Uses His Cursed Speech on You (Part 4)

🔅content: Light angst/light comfort; gn!reader; no pronoun mentions

🔅synopsis: It's been 2 days since you last seen Toge... How do you go about this? What are you supposed to do? You wonder how to address the situation at hand...

🔅a/n: "What happened to posting part 4 soon" I ended up scraping the entire part 4 draft and remade it because I didn't like it :'D Thank you everyone for being so patient and putting up w my bs aaa Let me know if you want to be in the tags list and enable ur tagging :3

[JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3]

🔅Word Count: 2.2K

"...Should I... open it...?" You asked yourself quietly, looking down on your phone as you stared at the multiple notifications you received from Toge.

13 missed calls

31 new messegaes

All unopened, all unanswered.

Slowly, you hover your finger over to his chat box, however, you hesitate- quickly shutting off your phone and plopping down on the soft mattress where you sat.

While the rest of the Okkotsu family went out to watch the movies, you decided to stay in the house by yourself. "You should come...! I'm sure it will help lift your spirits." Mrs. Okkotsu offered, to which you kindly declined her offer.

You figured you needed some time to be alone for now, but the lack of presence in the house ended up cauing a deafening silence to fill the halls, creating more opportunities for you to overthink the recent events between you and Toge.

'...I wonder... what did he say...'

'...why am I so scared to read it...?'

Over the past two days, you've been comfortably staying over Yuta's family home in the city. But since Yuta wasn't there at the moment, his parents and sister have been kindly accomodating you the entire time.

You were incredibly embarassed and reluctant to stay over, afraid of becoming only a nuisance to the Okkotsu family, especially since current situation between you and Toge was not at all very dire, just an arguement between two lovers.

Fortunately, Yuta and his mother were understanding and very insistent that you were welcome for as long as you'd like. Afterall, you were also one of Yuta's closest friends.

Trying your best to not cause them too much trouble, you help out with minor chores like the dishes, setting up the table, throwing out the trash- but each time you do so, you were met with gentle scolding.

"We told you to rest! You're still very hurt!"

"No no no, you're a guest, put that down!"

"We are not letting you wash the plates. Go back to bed and lie down for a nap! We'll bring you some snacks later."

"Nonsense! You are not a burden! You are a good friend of Yuta, and he asked us to take care of you, so sit down and don't worry about us."

Though that did seem to reduce the amount of guilt you felt, you were still rather embarassed for staying over someone else's family home just to hide from an ongoing dispute with Toge. So, you figured you shouldn't overstay your welcome, at least.

You look at your phone once again, staring at Toge's contact name as you remember your last encounter with him.

Staring at the ceiling above, you allow the memories from the incident flood your mind once more- remembering the sorrow, the pain, the sadness....

The entire time you knew Toge, he had always felt like the safest person to be around with, and you trusted him more than anyone- be it about your safety or your feelings. Naturally, the shock from accidentally getting cursed would shaken you up quite a lot.

You were badly hurt, both physically and emotionally.

And even for a short moment, you even felt afraid of him for the first time.

A feeling you knew would devastate him if he knew.

As shy as you were to admit it, all you did the entire day after the incident was quiety cry inside the guest bedroom in Yuta's home.

You can say that you rather had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Not a moment has passed in which you weren't thinking about it.

At first, it was shock, then fear, followed by pain before sadness, eventually leading to worry- the feeling you were experiencing right now.

Why 'worry'? You think to yourself, curious as to why there was this sense of longing to see him despite the accident.

It was a strange feeling in your chest. Most certainly, you were still very much upset and hurt about what he had done to you, but still-

"...I wonder how he must feel right now..." You hug the pillow nearest to you closer to your chest, unable to stray away the concern you felt for him.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at you the moment he misused his speech on you. The way Toge's eyes expressed so much shock, the way his voice was filled with so much guilt and fear... You have never seen him act in such a way before, especially considering the fact that he was always the more calm and composed one between the two of you.

You couldn't get the desperate tone of his voice out of your head, and you frequently find yourself vividly remembering the panicked expression he displayed on his face.

"...He must be worried..." You whisper to the pillow you held tightly, your eyelids closing as you replay the events of the accident.

More than anyone, you understood him the most, and you knew that this must be really messing up his mind right now.

It was one of his deepest fears, hurting someome he loves unintentionally with his speech, and you knew how deep this sort of wound would cut him on the inside.

More so, there was also the fact that Toge had personally witnessed the tragic events that happened to his allies in Shibuya... not to mention the fact that he had also been heavily pinning the blame on himself for the death of innocent civilians' lives.... lives which he felt responsible of protecting, all because he led them to take shelter to the same area Sukuna had unleashed his Malevolent Shrine.

'Truly...' you thought.

'this must be really messing up his mind right now....'

You turn over to your side, eyes staring blankly into the empty air in front of you.

"...He was distant and acting different from what happened in Shibuya afterall... I know he didn't mean to hurt me..." you whispered quietly, trying to think of how to address the situation.

You sat up, your hand firmly grasping your phone, a hesitant but concerned tone evident in your voice "I... don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does..."

Without a doubt, Toge was always so good to you. So protective, so understanding, so kind, so loving...

He was always there for you at your lowest points... and you never even had the chance to return such comfort to him before, so you think to yourself:

'...it's my turn.'

Your previous attempt to aid his sorrow didn't end up so well, but that's why you were willing to try again; To try again for him.

He probably hasn't been consoled ever since the incindent in Shibuya either. You, Panda, Yuta, or even Maki hadn't heard from him the entire time, and that's considering that all of you are his closest friends.

You ponder about it, and then you realize he probably wouldn't have ended up hurting you by accident or behaving so distant towards everyone if he had just allowed himself to be comforted- to be held and be told 'it's okay.'

...And you couldn't help but want to be that person who does that for him.

The more you thought about this, the more you wanted to see him.

You already released all the shock, hurt, and sadness for the past few days through a few weeping sessions in the small guest room before, and you think it's about time to come out of hiding.

You try to gain back your composure.

"...I wonder where he is... I hope... he's not pushing himself." You glance at your wallpaper, looking at a picture of Toge holding up a silly little peace sign while he sat next to a cute little dog you randomly met on the street.

You couldn't help but chuckle softly for a moment, then, your smile slowly fades back to form a serious expression on your face.

You miss the smile in his eyes like in the photo.

The idea of him in such sadness, worry, and pain ended up hurting you just as much as well.

"...I should talk to him."

So, you unlock your phone, open messages, and look for his contact name once again.

His contact nickname and his silly little photo appear.

'Bonito Flakes'

"...There."

Just when you were about to tap his name, you paused.

"Uh... wait... what should I say...?"

You pull back your thumb from the screen, suddenly having a bit of a panic on how to address the situation.

"..How do I reach out to him...? What... did he text me..? Is he upset with me? Is he looking for me...?"

His last text was from yesterday night, so you weren't sure what should be the best mood to approach him at this moment.

Just then, as if fate had timed this moment perfectly, a notification suddenly pops up on the top of your screen.

1 new message from Bonito Flakes

You gasped, completely taken aback from seeing his name.

'Wait... I'm not ready...!!'

You panicked slightly, causing you to drop your phone on the hard wood floor by accident, a loud thump echoing throughout the room. Fortunately, the Okkotsu family still hasn't returned from their outing yet, otherwise, you'd give them another reason to be worried about you.

You sigh, picking it back up as you lightly shook your head to gain back your composure.

As you check your sceen, you see another text from Toge come in.

Then another.

And another.

It made you slightly nervous but curious as to what his multiple texts were saying right now, and it sort of made you even more worried to know what he sent.

Is he sad? Does he need you? Is he just reaching out? Is he leaving the school? Does he want to distance himself from you?

"I'll... wait a little..."

Ultimately, you decided to let him finish sending his messages before you view it.

He sent quite a handful of texts, and it took a while before the messages stopped coming in. But just to be sure, you waited for a few minutes in case he had any late follow ups.

"I'll.... wait a little more..." You whisper to yourself as you stare at the phone in front of you, hoping to view his messages during a time when he's offline- You just wanted to make sure there was enough time for you to process and react to his texts without the pressure of him waiting for your response.

But the green dot next to his profile picture was still lit up, meaning, that he would be able to immediately see your replies the moment you send it.

But you would prefer he only sees it AFTER you're done sending your responses.

Sighing heavily, you whisper once more '...I guess I'll wait again...'

You check again after a few minutes, it was still green. So you wait again.

More time had passed but still- the green dot remained.

You wait again.

It was all you could think about for the past few hours as you move back and forth from checking your phone to lying down, staring into nothing...

Untul finally, at hour three, the green dot turns dim.

And with that, you were left with no excuse to delay opening your inbox any longer. "...alright... here we go.... I guess..."

With a hefty sigh and a single tap of your finger, you open his inbox.

Your eyes widened suddenly, immediate shock at the realization.

With a quickened pace, you hurridly limped towards the nearest window, the cast on your leg creating a slight scratching sound as you drag it across the floor.

Pulling away the curtains, you scan the street below in search for the white haired boy.

You squint your eyes slightly, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness of the night.

Then, you see him.

"He... he's still there...?"

On the opposite side of the street, there sat Toge on the small pavement across from Yuta's house.

His head rested on his arm and his head hung low, perhaps taking a bit of a nap as he waited for your reply.

A wave of guilt suddenly washes over you as you realize how long you've made him wait out in the cold for a single reply.

You text him.

Toge???? Why did you wait for me?

You look drenched, what happened???

How long have you been there???

But your messages didn't seem to get through, not showing a mark of it being delivered.

"His phone battery must've died...."

Instictively, you hurried out the room with a more detemined expression, carefully treading the stairs with your injured leg, and rushed out the door.

Unintentionally, the noise of opening the door a little too quickly echoed across the dead silent street, casuing Toge to immediately jolt himself awake.

He made eye contact with you while he remained seated across the street, shocked at your sudden appearance.

Embarassed for startling him, you slightly lose your confidence and shy away from his gaze, a small lump in your throat preventing you from voicing out any words.

Toge stood up slowly, his eyes widen but his chest beated out of nervousness.

He doesn't expect anything positve, but still, he remained hopeful, as much as he felt like he didn't deserve you.

"...um...." you started, hoping to break the akward silence that filled the air.

"...I-...."

"....."

"....p-...please, come in...."

....

[Back to JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]

a/n: So happy I finally finished this :')))))))) Shoutout to anon that poked me abt this that genuinely helped me lolol I just really needed a little push to finish this

NOTE classes are back ^^ and I'm doing some part-time comms sooo I'll be a lil busy but ofc I won't abandon this I luv this series <3

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

tags list: @zhenyuuu @cowcreamers @mushroommorgue @yunho-leeknow @lemonnotade @exodiam @an-ever-angry-bi @cirieria @chifuyufirstwife @strxbxrrylover @sturns55

[civetfish]

Was gonna wait to post this outside of ko-fi until I posted the corresponding part of my fic BUT since that's on hold for a hot second I might as well do it now!

So much yapping under the cut because I can't help myself lol (Mostly just a stream of consciousness, so its kind of a word salad)

I like to think that colors can change in brightness, mix with others, and appear in certain areas/patterns to give a bit of complexity to the use of colors for communication.

Top left is pretty straightforward- yellow is fear. It's the full body "puffed up cat" kind of fear where it's the ony emotion being processed. A lingering anxiousness would be shown more like a general yellow centered around the chest, while the rest of their body remains the same color. Feelings like a slight nervousness (Like handling a delicate object with big crab-claws, for example) would be shown through a "rippling" wave of yellow overtop of whatever colors are already present, originating from the chest or hands. ((link) this is pretty close to what I imagine (If the link doesn't work, skip to about 2:10) Spooky ocean warning! though if you're seeing this post in the first place I assume you're probably fine with it )

Green is analytical - He does this a few times in-game, and it's what makes the most sense to me. I also like to think it's the reasoning behind a lot of the Architect's... well, architecture. Green is a really predominant color in all of the architect structures / data hubs / machines / etc., so in cultural sense it would make sense for the Architects to be using the color representing their core values. The light blue around his sides is amusement/joy. (I put a little bit of this into my first chapter iirc) This is also based pretty closely to what we see in-game. (I.e. the little wave he does back at Robin, it's silly and playful and I love it sm)

The gray/dull tones (bottom left) are just that- the "muting/dulling" of whatever color it's applied to. The Architect who kind of killed his entire species is a little depressed if you can believe it! A muted blue (indigo, rather than light blue) would be melancholy, and the yellow tint in there is stress/dread. A completely dim gray Architect is basically completely numb, which is distinct from the typical "resting color" that Architects have when not feeling any emotion in particular at a given moment.

Dark blue (Or indigo, bottom right) is sadness. It could also be read as a sense of longing or wistfulnes, or a lot of other nuanced feelings depending on other colors or context clues.

And of course magenta (bottom middle) and that coral-ish color are love, more or less. It's a sense of fondness and deep affection, though Al-an himself is probably under the impression it's more like a loyalty and protectiveness; I don't think he has any real experience with love considering what we know about the network.

The coral color in the center of his chest is something I'll dive into more when I get that chapter out, but I think of it as a flush/heat, like an Architect blush. Orange is added to colors to increase the intensity of the emotion underneath, such as the inclusion with magenta to mean flustered or to red to mean a more heated rage. An embarassed architect would be fully orange, possibly leaning a bit towards pink, red or yellow depending on the specific situation.

For an "emotionless peak of innovation and efficiency" I am determined to shove SO many feelings into this shrimp horse. This stream of word spaghetti will eventually get rewritten into a basic color code.

[good-beans]

this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad. 

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either. 

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

[picturejasper20]

Least favorite Danny Phantom episodes from seasons 1 and 2?

Season 1:

"Splitting Images": Idk, the whole Poindexter plot and how the message gets handled is pretty weird. I understand Danny not trying to use his powers to not get attention but it doesn't make sense why he can't used them to defend himself a bit. Sad because i do like Sidney Poindexter.

"Teacher of the Year": I wouldn't say i dislike this episode? It's that i find it weird how Danny and Tucker are being rather sexist just because. I think it does makes sense to Tuck a bit but not Danny. The series had this habit of trying to explore gender in a way that was super strange.

"A Million Dollar Ghost": I wouldn't say "my least favourite" but like, this episode has some ass plot holes that don't make sense. Where is Valerie in this episode first of all? Why Vlad as Plasmius revealing to Jack that he has a ghost portal is never brought up again? Why instead of this we couldn't have an episode of Danny bonding with Jack and Vlad trying to interrumpt them? For an episode Vlad faces Jack feels weak.

Season 2:

"Memory Blank": What is this episode even about. How does this fit with the timeline. What is even the purpose of this episode aside from adding Danny a logo i have zero idea.

"Beauty Marked": The way this episode is written is... interesting. I like the idea of Sam being allowed to be herself. However, it isn't bad for girls to like cloths and alike? After all it is something that isn't rare for girls to like at that age. It doesn't make them stupid nor dumb. I think i could write an episode analysis about this one because it is just bizarre.

"Masters of All Time": The fuck is this episode. It is interesting the what if that is trying to make. The problem is that Vlad human! Contradicts the characterization Vlad has as character in general. The point is that Vlad turned evil after the ghost portal accident, he was a regular dude before the accident. Also why Jack's ghost form looks like Plasmius. How does make sense. The way the lesson is delivered is kinda mixed because Danny was just asking for his parents to not embarass him in front of his peers. It isn't much to ask.

"Double Cross My Heart": It's uh... i'm not a fan of Danny stalking Sam nor the "if someone likes Sam, it is because that person is lying" thing. It is like Danny is the only one who can like Sam, based on the impression i get.

"Reality Trip": While it can be entertaining, the whole thing is messy. I have commented about this episode before. I think the most frustrating part is the time reset of Jack and Maddie knowing Danny's ghost identity. It is going back to the status quo for the sake of going back to the status quo. It doesn't leave important consequences like Reign Storm and The Ultimate Enemy do. Another thing that bothers me is that it is one of the few times the GIW are actual enemies and it is mixed with this Freakshow gem plot. It could have been only about the GIW and it would have worked better.

From Season 1, the closest episode i come to dislike is "Splitting Images". Like Season 1 is overall pretty solid?

In contrast Season 2 is more messy. It has some episodes that have weird time resets or i just don't know how to add then in the timeline. Writing decisions that i don't get. Why Kindred Spirits couldn't be a two part special instead of one dedicated to a one-off enemy? Things like that that could have easily been avoided.

[maranzalla]

anyway one of my students wants private lessons next semester ( i probably won't be in regular class because i have to travel a lot. sad!) i've mixed emotions about this, on one hand somehow getting paid for one-on-one teaching feels wrong (i could do it for free. i would do it for free. i can do it for free) on the other hand private lessons are in fact a real job and those who work must be paid fairly. also they're nice so it wouldn't be a total punishment for me it might even be fun.

but also one-on-one teaching! how embarassing!

[gravidtopiary]

it's never too late.

6 years ago i was miserable and drunk and overweight and had a beard and was living with my mentally disabled sister helping raise her kid and i had just been unjustly fired from a job i'd had for 14 years and also i was dying in the hospital from renal failure (my skin and eyes were bright yellow, jaundice ftw) brought about a mix of an undiagnosed immune disorder, alcohol, stress, and also mononucleosis apparently?

and then a lot of something's happened, some medical, some psychological, and some that are hard to explain or understand.

a momentary aside -- i didn't have a near-death experience as you hear them described, with the tunnels of light and well-being and all that wonderful stuff, but something happened (or maybe it didn't and was a morphine hallucination ofc) i've tried and failed many times to try and write down what (if anything) happened there but it's like words just slide off trying to describe anything about it. there was just a SOMETHING that happened and it is the single most important inflection point in my life, and even at that i can't even tell you what it is.

something happened to me for which there exists no descriptive language.

putting aside the possibility of the divine, after this point things everything changed. i'd been in hospital for a week or so on huge amounts of IV fluids and nutrients (IV potassium citrate is pure unadulterated agony, i cannot recommend it except for in how it helped me not die), swallowing mounds of Prednisone capsules every few hours, enduring liver biopsies and the indignity of having friendly 20 year old nurses give me showers and wipe my butt when i finally started pooping again (that was another exciting symptom of my recovery, having to regain muscle control over my pooping muscles and then having to shit out these turds heavy and dense like good Christmas cake). but i was experiencing these pains and indignities, not just enduring them. i stopped waiting to die.

i lay in bed in the darkness one of these nights when all you can hear is hospital air movement and the susurration of the nursing station panopticon and everything hurt and i wanted a beer and i realized i might not die and that really wasn't a huge jubilation for me but there it was. "okay," i thought. "you can't drink booze ever again."

"oh god no," i thought, because i'd been drinking pretty hard for almost a decade (i had decided to transition back then and was moving towards that and then everything fell into chaos in my family and personal life and it was NOT GOOD and i had to stop) and i knew booze was GUARANTEED to smother the sadness and despair i had, over these feelings of being trapped in this life, this horrible male body, this mockery of presenting as straight, the endless waves of anxiety over anything i'd done or could do that would be "embarassing".

what a disgusting word embarassing is.

"oh god no," i thought as i saw my alcohol free future. "let's make a deal."

"no," said the living part of me.

"a future agreement then?" the booze-brain offered.

"i doubt it. but i'm not not listening."

"no more booze but not forever, like if science invents a robot liver that can get me drunk but won't kill me?"

i sighed at myself. "in that case, then, sure, not forever."

booze-brain pumped her little fist triumphantly but then looked sad. "that could take a long long time."

"yes," i replied, and we both could see the sober future stretching ahead of us grey and endless like in a fever hallucination.

"we can do lots of drugs to make up for it, though," my sober brain said, suddenly horrified. "but nothing that is harmful."

"sooooooooo..." my booze brain asked, rather coyly.

"weed and psychedelics mostly. and opiates but probably not, but i'm leaving that option open. oh and ketamine i guess?"

my booze brain started taking notes. "what about GHB?"

"where would we find GHB?" i thought, a little derisively, "but sure."

and with that, we had a deal. and then booze brain went away because this Concord of Drugs that had just been finalized meant that one issue was resolved but the big one remained.

"what am i going to do if i can't stop drinking to suppress my feelings and desires?" i thought. "i'm trans but i can't transition, i'm huge and i'm 40 and i'm losing my hair and everything i've ever read about transitioning says that hormones take years to work and also they don't do anything so why bother! and it would be so embarassing when i don't pass because everyone will make fun of me and call me a faggot "

"that might be true," i thought agreeably. "but so what? you're not dead right now but that's not going to be forever, and wishes and hopes don't do shit and neither does avoiding yourself."

"aw fuck," i thought.

"besides we've pretty much gone through as much humiliating embarassing shit as we ever could have imagined -- having strangers scrub our tiny penis and being fired from our career over things that never fucking happened and having to wear a diaper because we lost bladder control for a while and having our fucking sister go through my room after i went to the hospital so she could throw out most of our stuff and send us mocking text messages about all the girl clothes in our dresser and--"

"okay," i thought quietly. "i guess we're going to do this, fuck."

"but first let's get out of this place ASAP so we can at least have access to weed for all our various ouches?"

and so we did. my doctor thought i was insane for even thinking about leaving, because i was still using a wheelchair and needed help to do everything. he also almost definitely thought i wanted to get out to start drinking again.

but i wasn't worried about that. i didn't have any particular love of how i felt when i was drunk, but i loved the way it made me NOT FEEL. but now that option was not available to me -- that's how it felt, that's how it was. i'm well aware of how well we can lie to ourselves but this was different.

this is too long and i have to go chainsaw some trees for winter firewood so so so

i got better. i wanted to get better, and the nurses could tell. i wanted to see if i could get strong enough to use a walker and they exercised me and hauled me around and i did get stronger and i could use the walker. "so," i thought, "i've defeated being bed-bound and now i have defeated my wheelchair and it will be the walker next and then canes."

and i did. my doc was kind of despairing -- "you cannot leave until you show me you can walk up a flight of stairs unaided, and even then i need you to promise me you'll be back if anything even slightly goes wrong."

"totally," i said, and i meant it.

anyways this could go on for pages more and but so, in summation, in summary, i'm now 47 and i'm so goddamn physically active now and i lost 50+ pounds of flab and am busy replacing it with estrogen muscles and lots of other things, OH and i wasn't going bald, it was a nutritional problem, but most importantly:

i've been sober for 6 years straight, i'm poor, but happier than i've ever been in my life, and i'm growing titties 😎

so fuck yeah, be gay do crimes and reach for that fucking rainbow each and every one of us 😋

[arynecho]

I sometimes feel robbed of my culture, and I wonder if anyone else can relate. I'm mixed, my dad's from El Salvador while my mom is from Sweden, which is where I also live and grew up. I have never been to El Salvador and I've always lived pretty far away from the rest of my dad's family. I don't speak any Spanish because my dad was the one always working when I grew up, and I guess he just never had the time to teach me or my siblings. That on its own is pretty alienating, since the few times I meet my paternal relatives I can't communicate well with a lot of them. I've been wanting to learn Spanish recently, but I feel embarassed because I will have an accent and probably struggle a lot, yet a lot of people expect me to be fluent.

I never experienced the typical Latinx family dynamics or closeness because of the physical distance. Hell, I don't even know the names of most of my relatives, or in what way we're related. The only way I feel connected to that part of my heritage is food, as a few dishes from my dad's childhood also became part of mine. I didn't get to take part in traditions or anything and it feels weird. I've never been "Swedish enough" for the people around me, but I don't really feel Latinx or Salvadorian enough either. Sure, people can tell when they look at me or hear my last name, but I feel like an impostor. Everytime I watch movies like Encanto or Coco or read books like Cemetery Boys, I can't help but feel a bit sad because I'm missing that own closeness and connection to my culture. It's the same when I hear Spanish songs or overhear my dad talking to his sisters on the phone.

There are many things about my childhood I wish was different, and I almost feel silly for being so upset about this particular thing. But still, I keep wishing I had at the very least been taught the language. Maybe I'm just overreacting and being self centered, or there are others who feel the same. I don't really know, I just know I'm sad and upset and feel like I'm missing out

[luckyqueenreign]

I feel like Hasim might be the Kassam of this season cause they have a similar posture. I hope he's not like "I'm all about Amelia" while ghosting MC for 99% of the routes, that'd be so embarassing 😭.

lolol not a similar posture!! theres sooo many islanders that still need to come in, which is super exciting, but im sure some there will be one or two in the mix that aren't interested in MC. If its Marshall I will be so sad but at least they gave us the option to unlock Ozzy as an LI

[dykesynthezoid]

ooo 3, 13, and 14 👀

let’s gooooo

I tried to edit this down but it’s still extremely long. I’m not sorry

3. Screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh but there’s so many. So, so many. Truly an unending amount.

A somewhat funny but overwhelmingly bizarre take I’ve seen is that when fandom has a female character they don’t like, they just decide to claim she’s homophobic??? Lmao?? Like they’re both so invested in all their gay ships and also hate her so much for not being 100% accommodating to everyone else at all times that their solution is to claim that. She must be the token straight who’s also a homophobe.

It’s always the same type of female character too btw. “Katara is homophobic” “Nancy Wheeler is homophobic” “Sam is homophobic” literally people hate women SO MUCH and the shit they have to come up with to justify it can be honestly fascinating. People will see a girl who has been even slightly bossy or headstrong or complicated once in their fucking lives and decide she’s the most evil bitch to ever exist. Like get over yoursellllffff!!! It’s SO embarassing for them

13. Worst blorbofication

Any blorbofication that 1. completely sandpapers any interesting flaws or nuance, 2. entirely invents positive or sympathetic traits that the character does not actually possess; these treats are frequently stolen from other characters within the same media, but who are in some way marginalized and therefore fans ~just can’t put their finger on it, but they don’t like them as much as their blorbo for some reason… But here’s all the character traits they stole from them and gave to their blorbo to make the blorbo seem cooler, of course

(Bro people will literally see a female character or a character of color with an interesting trait and go “YOINK!” and just slap it onto their boring white guy blorbo)

I would say an example of the first type, though, is Terry Silver. I don’t think it’s strange at all to feel affection for his character or be fascinated by him. I mean, look at him. There’s some wacky shit going on there, how can you not be fascinated? I do think it’s strange to build up a thing in your head where he’s always the victim, nothing is really his fault, he can’t be blamed, poor poor Terry he’s so sad and lonely, etc. Like idk maybe he wouldn’t be so lonely if he weren’t Terrible To Be Around because he actively enjoys hurting people. And I like that about him! I like that he’s so campily evil!!!

Anyway just let him be a fucked up little weirdo!! It’s what makes him interesting!! He’s literally a psycho biddy mixed with a byronic hero in the shape of the campiest gay villains imaginable, love and cherish him as he is.

19. That one thing you see in fics all the time

Hmm. Okay. So. I have a couple of these; one I truly dislike and another I just tend to note and go “hmm, interesting.” Let’s start with the more controversial one.

So. There’s such a thing in TKK and CK as canon-typical racism, right? It’s a reality that exists in both. And I think it would be wrong to expect any author, regardless of race, to just wholly ignore that, because again, it’s a reality of the story (and of the real world).

However. Would it be nice if people could let you know when the story is going to be full of slurs? Yeah, I think it would.

I understand why and how those are things that end up needing to be touched on. I don’t think authors should have to censor themselves in that aspect. But also; there’s such a flippancy, in how sooo many ck and tkk authors approach using those things in their stories. And I think it’s really fucking easy to be flippant, right, if it doesn’t affect you, if you’re not a part of the race that’s being targeted, and especially if you’re white. Of course it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

I also think people seem to genuinely somehow forget that someone could read what they’ve written and be triggered by it. Like. As if; in particular; Asian people don’t exist or wouldn’t be reading their stories??? It’s very strange. And it’s so easy to put in a little warning! It’s so easy! And why wouldn’t people be sensitive about something like that, when fandom racism can be so rampant on a broader scale?

And you could say oh, well people should expect that content because it’s in the source material. But like… we all regularly tag and warn for things as milquetoast as say, underage drinking. Which is also in the source material. So I’m really not getting how popping a quick content warning for canon-typical racism is so difficult.

(I also think some people genuinely seem to forget; or don’t care; about the history and trauma that comes attached to certain derogatory terms and slurs. “J*p” should not be something you are just throwing into your fic for fun. You need to have really thought about why you’re putting it there, the purpose it’s serving, what you’re saying about the character who says it).

On a slightly lighter note! Something I see all the time in Lawrusso fics (and sometimes other M/M fics with Daniel as well) is people just sort of struggling to figure out what to do with Amanda. And I’m not trying to condemn that, at least not altogether.

And I certainly prefer the current trend of her being supportive and finding any developments hilarious to the earlier portrayals of her just being the villain for no reason. But also, just leaving her in the wingwoman position and not bothering to add any dimension there can leave her very flat, and it’s a position female characters get put in often in regards to M/M ships.

One solution is of course in going the poly route, because it usually necessitates at least a little bit of rumination on Amanda’s perspective. But even then there’s no guarantee people add any dimension to her.

And of course; we’re speaking in trends here. This isn’t an issue of individual preference, or a pursuit in lambasting anyone on their personal work; it’s a discussion of something much larger.

I don’t think Amanda should somehow have to be an extremely nuanced focal point in every M/M Daniel fic (that’s just not possible, for one, lmao). But when people do choose to include her in a major way, I think it’s good to stop and consider how you can add a little depth or nuance. I mean, I’ve had to struggle with that myself, and I’m never really sure if I’ve succeeded or not. But I thought about it, and I kept it in mind, and I think even that can make a difference.

I myself often go the divorce route in writing her; although it. Usually doesn’t even have anything to do with what Daniel and Johnny are doing? It’s just that I think Amanda deserves to be with someone who’s not obsessed with karate. And I like Damanda, and I love Daniel, but like. Idk man! It’s a whole lot! And I think anyone could get tired of it. She quite literally did not sign up for that. And if you think her being Daniel’s wife puts her under some kind of obligation to always be understanding and always take his side and never question him; well. Ew, frankly. Just because Daniel also deserves support doesn’t mean she has to be on the same page as him or she’s a bad wife.

She’s literally her own person!! Let her be her own person!!!

(Literally I wish I could pay for her and Carmen to just go on a long fucking vacation. Let them have a fucking break and have mind-blowing gay sex away from all the karate nonsense and their identities as partners and mothers. What if they were just two hot perimenopausal women with complex inner lives and complicated pasts experiencing life together on a beach in Cabo. Y’know. And they could have a time together that’s about them, they’re the point, they haven’t somehow been relegated to a background pairing. And also there’s the gay sex).

(I think I got off track. What was I talking about? Oh, right.)

I think how quickly my mind will shove Daniel and Johnny out of way the moment Amanda and Carmen appear IS #feminism tbh. Like they might as well not exist to me when Amanda and Carmen are onscreen together, or when a story’s supposed to be about them. Daniel who? I’ve never heard of him. Also I think people should write long, beautiful Carmanda fics and then tag Lawrusso just bc they appear in the background for five seconds. I think it would be hilarious.

[dira333]

sammy anon back.

Lol that was a bit funny sorry. I've had my fair share of embarassing moments too I've written quite a few in my journal but tried to forget most of them. Thank you it wad really sweet of you lol now i feel at ease knowing that both of us probably hqve had embarassing studd and it cannot get mkre awkward.

Yess apples are really sweet and they really wake you up without causing a stomach ache.

Spring is a beautiful season. We're experiencing spring currently. Even I like winter a lot though we don't get snow it makes my place less hotter. But I'd say even the rainy season is really good here since i like the sort of greenery? Cool weather and it is also a bit gloomy which makes me feel like i'm in those victorian gothic books.

And yes people cursing so often is suxh a bad behaviour. It not only shows like a bad temper but it is disrespectful and also shows the lack of one' vocabulary. It's sad how we hsve come to a point to just accept insults and curses as something to be chill about. And yeah even the person for whom we'll never be enough is a good deal breaker. It makes one just feel so less and for some reason you feel like getting their approval too.

And the food. Hmm. Though I like a routine and like having sort of a nice flow to every thing in my day I would like to have something different everyday. Though I'm open to having three meals everyday which are like the same forever? Like same breakfast everyday same luncheveryday and same dinner. But if I were to have a meal as a punishment or curse lol i'd choose oats. They're simple and you can always add a topping to it. What about you?

And sickness. Luckily I haven't had a serious sickness. I usually just fall sick if my family members gets sick and I get it from them snd that too a cold or a fever. But apparently I used to get my eyes swollen up a lot as a child. That must've been scary and thankfully i don't remember much.

My questions to you-

Are you a mountain person or a beach person? What is your favourite time of the day and why?

Hello there...

I don't know if I could eat the same thing everyday. I used to say "give me a fried egg in a sandwich and I'll be happy" but I've turned out to be allergic, so that's not going to work... I do have to mix it up all the time. Rice one day, noodles the next, you know?

I love the mountains and I love open water but since I'm deeply afraid of everything living in the water, I will stick to the mountains. I do live in a very mountain-y area too.

my favorite time of the day is the morning. You have so much time ahead of you that you can use and I'm full of energy and hungry and so... yeah, what about you?

My questions are:

If you could make one anime character real, who would it be and would you hope for a platonic or romantic connection?

if you could live in any anime world, which one would you take?

[eternalyoflife]

Betrayed was the right word.

(Warning : angst)

This is for an idea I had of if the lamb had siblings in reality who weren't lambs so a mixed family and they were the one who gave them to be sacrificed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They didn't understand.

They could not understand why this was happening.

They had done everything for them.

Everything for their siblings.

This was unfair.

So unfair.

Why did life was so against them ?

Did they do something wrong to anger those gods ?

Those gods who talked about prophecy like it was just a simple thing.

These lands were cursed from the very start.

They had told this to their eldest.

But even him, their brother went against him.

For what ?

The sake of a prophecy ?

Their other siblings did nothing to help them.

They had just watched from the side and refusing to look at them.

How angered they were, their two brothers and sister.

How mad they were that those three did nothing to help.

How sad they were that their siblings had done nothing to stop the eldest from chaining them.

How ashamed they felt, to see them coward away from the eldest.

How embarassed they were to have believe them as their brothers and sister.

How...

They were heartbroken.

Their was no other words.

They felt empty, alone.

They felt like the promise they had made between eachother was nothing.

How they acted like it was easy to break such thing.

They were maybe not the same specie but they still acted as siblings.

But apparently it meant nothing the bond they had formed over the years.

It really meant nothing.

They were just a toy, a plaything they took in pity for awhile.

Everything meant nothing for them.

All was a lie.

Everything about their siblings was a lie.

There was not once of true love and relation.

All was for not.

Everything was covered by a curtain.

All their intentions and kindness.

Perfect brothers and sister between eachother.

Without them.

They were better without them.

Their gods had spoken and they would listen.

Why would they go against it ?

Their sibling did not matter.

No.

They did not at all.

Just like those gods who locked their own brother for eternity.

Maybe that was another reason their siblings disliked them.

They always stayed faithful to the god locked in his realm.

They always prayed to death for it was inevitable.

It would always come for all.

Even gods.

For once a leader lose their people they will be nothing.

But even with that in mind all knew something.

Gods could bleed.

Ichor was the blood they had in them.

They would bleed slowly, yes, but it meant they could die.

That is what they knew and believed in.

And they would keep this thought till their death.

What was beyond this though ?

Was their some kind of afterlife ?

They did not know.

They could only hope it would be better than what they had and felt.

They felt weird though.

Maybe it was them only who sensed such thing.

They could feel it.

The power of death.

Yes, death was losing patience.

Only they could feel it though.

Some kind of pride washed over them for a few instant.

Though it left fast when they saw were they were led.

Their siblings had lead them to their demise.

Where others like them were.

Others who worshiped the same god, others who were spoken from the prophecy.

Their siblings were monster.

To accept such raw cruaulty.

None of them tried anything to help them when those hooded figures took them.

None had batted an eye for them.

They were really apathetic.

Or maybe they were pathetic.

For not trying anything to save them.

No they were really nothing in their siblings eyes.

They were nothing to those people.

They were the third oldest in this false haven.

The third oldest of this false promised family.

The third oldest just like their god.

But they were the last one who joined their family.

They were the last who entered the family but the first to leave it.

What a weird fate, what a horrible joke on them.

They looked at their supposed family leaving them while they were put in a cell.

Their eyes started to cry after all left.

They had no hope of survival.

No, they had nothing anymore.

They cried out with all their left energy.

Cried to people who will not come back for them.

They were betrayed by their own kin.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Words : 719

Random prompt : Everything about their siblings was a lie.

[daydream-atmidnight]

So I spoke to him last night. 9 years and 1 month since we've talked. I was scared out of my mind that I'd fuck it up. I was anxious and nervous. He came over to where I was and asked to talk. I felt like this was a set up as we headed to a more private area. A scene to catch me off guard to help amplify the vulnerability I felt. I was only halfway through my beer and resisted the urge to finish it off before following him.

Don't get me wrong, I am blissfully happy with my husband. He's a gentle husband who knows when not to be gentle with me. He protects, encourages, and supports me in every way I need and want. Maybe that's why I felt so vulnerable. He wasn't physically around to keep an eye on me since he was keeping our baby for my girls' night out. It was odd timing this man was here when I was. I felt exposed.

This was actually the one time I didn't ask my sister if she'd be there with friends before deciding to go. I always asked her because I was always anxious about running into this man again. The last time we spoke, he made it clear he wanted me to stay away from him. I loved him when he made the request so I decided I'd honor it for as long as I could.

I prepared myself to be yelled at. I didn't know why but I knew it was coming. I was in trouble for something. The last thing I expected was to hear "I'm sorry." My anxiety mixed with confusion. I couldn't meet his eyes. He talked. I listened aside from occassionally offering reassurance. I tried to remember the conflict he apologized for. I couldn't. I remembered feeling hurt once but that feeling had long faded. My cheeks turned red as I realized I could only remember happy memories with him. Except of course the past 9 years where I worked through sadness for losing him, anger that he could just go that long pretending like I didn't exist, and regret for not just trying to talk to him. I suddenly remembered his voice when he told me never to speak to him again when we broke up. I pushed that thought away.

I noticed how nervous he was. Shoulders tensed, arms crossed, flexing and fidgeting his fingers around his arms. He was too focused on his own anxiety to even notice my own. I tried to offer more reassurance and diffuse the tension. I wasn't good at it this time which pained me as a behavioral counselor. I forgot everything I knew about emotional regulation. I made the mistake of looking at his eyes. He almost seemed like he might cry. As his tension stayed, I wanted to pull him into a hug to show him I wasn't a threat. I didn't dare touch him though.

I wanted to apologize for not initiating a conversation sooner. To let him know I had always wanted to be friends. I always wanted him in my life. But I couldn't say that. I was still a bundle of nerves despite how relaxed I was attempting to appear. (Thinking back now, I realize I'm thankful it took so long. I might not have met my husband if I was friends with this man. Losing his friendship forced me to find new friends who led me to my husband.)

We moved on to small talk which usually I hate but was thankful because it helped me avoid asking the million more questions I had. I hadn't fucked up yet and to continue talk would only give me more opportunities to do that. My cheeks flushed red as a song got stuck in my head. I hoped he wouldn't see my embarassment and if he did then I hoped he didn't ask. I don't remember saying goodbye or even how the conversation ended. I just anxiously began to replay what just happened.

I wanted to go home and get shitfaced. Get drunk enough to forget it all happened. I couldn't do that at the bar as I had to drive home afterward. I settled for two more beers as my friends grilled me on why this man wanted to talk. They made fun of me for how I fumbled over my words and all the tension I held. They hadn't seen me as anything other than confident before. But they didn't know me until college so of course they hadn't.

[emmetrain]

The event HAD TO have something going terribly wrong, it seemed. Emmet still felt exhausted, and ashamed, really, for missing all the opportunity in making a change. Neither his or Ingo's attack had hit, and the feeling of incompetency was hard to swallow. Still, he pressed on, doing his best to appear cheery despite the mixed feelings inside.

When he saw another carrying that gloom, he couldn't help but draw close. Especially remembering the name he picked up from the chat the other was having with the vendors.

( Emmet could never remember a face. But the names would never be forgotten. )

He offered a warm smile as he listened. "It was overwhelming for sure. I need another festival to relax and forget about last night," Emmet joked, hoping to be a little goofy to cheer the other up. At the brief mention of sensitivity, he perked up, tilting his head. "Do you also suffer from the... mega energy and like?" A whisper, as it was the secret of his ultra human friends.

"I did. I missed. It was verrrrry embarassing in front of my mentor. You know. I hope I can make Miss Soliera proud another time." Emmet's looked down as the small, sad smile hung on his face. He shrugged. "When you misread one thing in a battle, everything changes. I should train harder to overcome this. But... enough about me."

"So, who are you? Where are you from? Your stance on trains versus planes. Your favorite colors? Your favorite Pokemon? I would not need to ask if we could have a battle right now, but both of us are spent, I think. Battles are the tracks heading to one's soul. You know. You can tell a lot about someone from the way they battle, and how they observe the result."

✧ ✧ ✧ starter for @emmetrain (cont. from discord!)

✧ Riley looks put-together enough despite the rough night, and has been visiting various stalls and booths to purchase little charms, special trinkets, and other gifts. But there's some kind of gloom hanging over him, lurking in his eyes even when he smiles and chats with the vendors.

He was found unconscious near one of the gates last night, after the battle. Just what happened to him?

A voice calling out behind him captures his attention, at least once what was said manages to settle into his brain. "If I am not mistaken, you needed maintenance last night! Are you feeling any better now?"

Riley turns to face him and, after a few moments, nods. "I still feel a bit groggy, but nothing seems to be wrong? I guess the presence last night was... a bit overwhelming for me?" He raises a hand to his chin. "I can be sensitive to that sort of thing."

It's a safe enough answer, and not a lie. But it's not the whole truth, either, and that makes him feel a bit guilty.

"Did you partake in the fight? If so, I hope... you are alright?"

[geliditramonti]

My One-Finned Fish

Steven Grant x F!Reader

Warnings: None, just fluff

"Hey, did you see that guy over there?"

"That loser at table thirteen?"

"Yeah, he’s been sitting there for over two hours and nobody showed up. Almost feel for him"

I approach my coworkers trying to figure out what they’re whispering about, I just hate it when they make me feel left out.

"Who are you two talking about?"

"That weirdo at table thirteen. Can you see him?" she asks me pointing her finger at the big window that opens onto the street. I lean a little bit to see better, continuing to dry the glass of wine in my hands as my gaze rests on the figure of a man. His shoulders are curved in a little clumsy posture, from time to time he looks around in the hope of seeing the person who's waiting for and I can easily feel his frustration when the matron approaches him to ask if he still wants to wait.

"I feel so sorry for him...how do you do that?"

"He must have done something wrong to deserve this."

I just don't answer, shaking my head and called back to my work in a full dining room. I do my best not to think about it but from time to time my eyes point back to table thirteen, finding it always occupied by only one person who doesn't give up, in the embarrassment and comments of the people around him. The bouquet of roses and the chocolate box in the shape of a heart on his table make it all more heartbreaking while the restaurant slowly empties and the chatter becomes more and more feeble. We're closing, how much longer is he going to wait?

"Honey, I can’t wait to go home to get drunk and smoke some pot, so...someone should go tell that weirdo we’re closing."

"I think he’ll figure it out on his own." I answer a bit annoyed "I’m going to change."

I undo the bun that has picked up my hair all night, loosening my hair that fall light on my back. What a relief.

"Finally..."

Quickly taking off my uniform and putting back on my clothes I suddenly realize that my hurry comes from the fact that, for some reason...I hope the man from table thirteen will still be there when I walk out the door. For no reason, shelving reason, just...gut feeling.

"See you tomorrow, goodnight!" I say out loud waving my hand as I quickly leave the restaurant, looking around immediately and noticing that all tables are now empty. All but one. On the thirteenth table is still the bouquet of red roses, left to wither on the tablecloth like its owner tonight. I take it, and all of a sudden, I think I see him walking in a dimly lit street.

"Hey!"

He doesn’t turn around, keeps walking without distracting and I decide to reach him with a small run.

"Hey! Wait!"

When he turns to me and stops, looking at me with curiosity, my heart skips a beat.

"Hello, what-"

"You forgot these. On the table."

"Oh," he says taking them back "thank you. I didn't really...thank you."

His dark eyes look at me and then just go down on his feet. He seems so nervous and...tired.

"It was a pity to see them abandoned there, so-"

"Yeah..." he says in a sigh "well, thanks for bringing them back to me."

For a moment I think I’ve chosen the worst excuse to start a conversation. This man seems to be so bashful and I'm not sure that after the evening he spent he wants to converse with a perfect stranger.

"You...you work at the restaurant, right?" he asks me with furrowed eyebrows.

I nod. Now I can’t pretend anymore that I wasn’t a bystander to his disastrous no-date.

"...it was pretty sad, wasn’t it?" he asks as a sad smile appears on his face and his eyes fall back on the bouquet, embarassed. I know there’s nothing I can say to make him feel any better right now, I just wish he didn’t know I’d seen everything.

"I'm really sorry about your date"

"Yeah, well...it was my fault. I mixed up the days, thought today was Friday and screwed up..."

"You thought today was Friday?"

"Yes, uhm...I have a sleeping disorder, and this makes it really hard for me sometimes."

I can’t quite figure out what he’s talking about. In what strange way a sleep disorder can affect a person’s life enough to make him lose track of time? But the last thing I want is to make him uncomfortable in any way, I won’t ask any more questions.

"I also have to go this way, so...if you don’t mind we could take a walk together."

He fakes a smile again and then nods.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm Y/N, by the way"

"I'm Steven. With the 'v'. "

"Nice to meet you, Steven with the 'v'. "

He smiles shyly while observing his steps. A strand of black hair falls on his forehead and my heart is lightened seeing the first real smile of the evening.

"What do you do, Steven?"

"Oh, I work at the museum. Just this morning as I was going there I noticed a major blunder on the banner outside, on the Ennead one...the super group of Egyptian Gods...you know, Horus, Osiris, Tefnut...anyway. I tried to tell my superior but she didn’t listen to me at all and it bothers me so much that I’ve been thinking about it all day"

"What kind of blunder?"

"They've got seven Gods there, and the Ennead has nine. Can you believe it?"

I listen to him with a half smile on my face, admired and a little amused by all this sudden enthusiasm shown to me. His gaze has changed and he talks about it with so much passion that I would listen to him all night.

"You can tell how much you love what you do. I bet you’re the best tour guide in there"

"No I, uhm...work at the gift shop, actually."

Steven’s voice releases a small laugh at the end of the sentence, in the embarrassment and difficulty of a man who thinks he's not enough in this life.

"You know," I say "the gift shop is always my favorite part in a museum. You don’t want to leave without a memory of that beautiful day, right? You want something to take you back there with your mind, to remember. What would you do without the gift shop?"

When I turn to Steven he's looking at me. His eyes got softer and I can see his lips curling up in a smile as we walk side by side on this cold London street. His presence makes everything warmer, actually.

In our carefree chatting, in our laughing together, in our discovering small sides of each other the road that was to take us to our respective flats has become longer and longer, making us lose in the streets of London lit only by the dim lights of the street lamps. I don’t even know what time it is. I don’t care.

"Look at the moon," he says pointing at the sky "it’s beautiful, innit?"

He slows his pace and we stop in the middle of a road I’ve never been on. Looking up I lose myself for a few moments in the beauty of a wonderful full moon that silently peeks at us and, when I look down, I realize that Steven is no longer looking at the sky. He’s looking at me. His big dark eyes flicker on my face without a word like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

I smile.

"What is it?"

"No-nothing," he stutters "I just...we are here. I live here."

In an instant I feel a knot in my stomach. Our night is already coming to an end? I didn’t even realize we stopped right outside the front door of a condo.

We're standing in front of each other, our breaths get faster, my heart is in my throat while his eyes are lost in mine and his body seems to get a little closer.

*Don't go, Steven*

"Well...thanks for the nice walk, Steven with the 'v'."

*Please stay with me one moment more*

We look into each other’s eyes for a time that seems infinite and for the first time tonight he doesn’t look down.

"Thank you for being with me tonight. It’s nice to talk to someone who actually listens to you."

As I look at his face and the shy smile on his lips, I can’t help myself.

"Steven"

"Yes?"

"I really want to kiss you right now."

"Oh please, do it" and without hesitation finally my mouth is on his, tasting his lips as my fingers sink into those black curls, messing them up a bit. It’s like the first breath of oxygen after a long apnea. I hear the sound of the bouquet of flowers falling on the ground at the same time my tongue caresses his, his hand on my back and the good smell of his aftershave goes right to my head. As I wrap my arms around his neck Steven holds me closer, softly tasting my lips as I can feel his heart beating against my chest and pounding like mad. If I could make one wish in life, I'd wish this kiss would never end.

As we slowly separate our lips to catch our breath, Steven keeps his eyes closed smiling gently. I don’t want this night to end, this moment to end.

"I have some delicious Norwegian chocolates that would be a shame to throw away," he whispers on my lips "if you'd like, you know...to come up with me...I- I don't want to sound creepy, I just want to...you know, sometimes the night, for me...sleeping is-"

"I'd love to."

Steven, smiling, puts a hands in a pocket of his dark jacket before opening the door with a set of keys.

"It might be a little messy, but I’m sure Gus will be happy to meet you"

"Gus?"

"My one-finned fish."

I smile.

"I cannot wait to meet this guy."