#I have been told this will make you cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freyadragonlord · 2 months

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"Why would another version of myself attack me" Oh idk Dokja.

The child in the subway station you tried to stab probably asked himself the same question.

#41 vs 49 continues #49 makes me so sad i want to cry #“they dont want me they want you” T.T #this chapter implies we may have been told a lie at some point but idk idk idk #orv side story #side story spoilers #orv spoilers #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader's viewpoint spoilers #kim dokja

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deoidesign · 4 months

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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carefulfears · 1 year

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the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.

#she believes in him so much and she thinks he can save the world even if she moves on. and he’s so frustrated he’s almost angry #as he just spits out at her that she’s the entire reason he’s here.#‘i owe you EVERYTHING. scully…and you owe me nothing.’#from the person she believed in so much she nearly lost her life to follow him!! whom she looked up to from her deathbed #and said take EVERYTHING i have left!!! my dignity my reputation my dying breaths take it ALL!!!#her ahab!!#and she owes nothing. she is everything. she matters.#and she’s been going back/forth with him every day for 5 years but she is rendered with nothing to say.#nothing to do but cry and hold him and hold him and hold him #make him bow his head to her so she can kiss it and try to absolve him. like he did her in that hospital hallway.#so much grief in being needed #it just says so much that the only time she ever considers leaving him is because she thinks SHE is bad for HIM.#and he tells her……i cannot do it without you. but i expect nothing from you anyway.#and being told she’s needed by her best friend reduces her to tears. no wonder.#txf.txt #ftf

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cosmicangsts · 6 months

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a 3 year toxic & abusive friendship just ended y'all! he literally got mad at me for spending MY money i set aside ages ago for something i wanted ( acheron ) & today msged me an ultimatum about our friendship while putting me down, expecting me to piss shit & cry & i DIDN'T & instead stood my ground & called him out on being a controller who doesn't see me as a person with a savior complex so he DIPPED! ♡ ( not without the classic ' i'm sorry u feel that way ' & ' caring for my friend is NOT a savior complex ' & making it all about himself u best believe it was OUTSTANDING but i literally don't care i've cried so much over u )

if the new trend is a breakup at the start of every year & it means decluttering my life of incessant negativity, then honestly i am HERE FOR IT

#🏏 ( ooc . )#FREE. FREE LIKE A CYBERBIRD #throwback to about 2 months ago #him: have u gotten to the spot in zelda yet #me: no i been cooking and running around unlocking my map and collecting stuff #him: even after i went through all that trouble making a roadmap for you? it's almost like you enjoy PISSING ME OFF.#( me silently crying on the phone )#a real exchange we had over totk bc i wouldnt play the game the way he wanted me to #and ran around for like fifty hours without advancing the plot LOL #yes this is also the friend i mentioned meeting irl who made me miserable #had me crying in the street over a pastry #he just became a very mean person. he's no longer who i met #he's undiagnosed bipolar disorder it's very apparent to me and everyone around him #his sister and i literally discussed it when i went to meet him in person bc she saw how fucking miserable i was #and he's told me before he can't keep friendships so yeah. he is the common denominator here

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puppyeared · 1 year

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bestieesssss /platonic

(Xīn Yá belongs to me, Sailor belongs to @crow-cap)

#some of these are kind of out of context so I’ll explain a bit djshdhshs #Xīn Yá’s fruit are ‘oranges’ but this could also mean fruits like tangerines and clementines #their taste also changes depending on Xīn’s mood. it does taste like orange but it could be sweeter or sour. if you get them really mad it #could be spicy somehow.. however the fruits healing powers and taste only work if you’re within a certain range of Xīn Yá. if u try to leave #the island with a shit ton of her fruit you just have a bunch of regular oranges. so you can’t just grab a bunch and save em for later exp #expecting it to work. although crow told me Sailor would take some oranges with him fully knowing they would end up being regular oranges #once he leaves. the idea of him taking them as souvenirs makes me cry EVERYTIME #LIKE CMON.. XĪN IS SO USED TO BEING USED AS A TOOL TO HEAL PPL OR SERVE OTHERS SO JUST. ACCEPTING EVEN READILY TAKING THEM #WITH YOU KNOWING ITS NOT GONNA DO SHIT IT JUST REMINDS YOU OF HER.. OUGGHHFFFFHHHH #on that note since sailor is their first friend it’s very fun watching their interactions dhfhsh. Sailor has actually been around and #might even have a social life so Xīn is learning a lot of new things sjfjfs #bc of that Xīn is probably possessive of him and hates it when he leaves. sailor asking them to come with him would also be a good chance to #show them how to ride and sail a boat so they can come with him but their reclusiveness outweighs that. sorry sailor shfhfsg #I lov themb #myart #my art #doodles #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #Monkie kid #lmk ocs #lmk oc #Xīn Yá #Xin Ya #little sailor #friend oc #my oc

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faaun · 5 months

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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

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introspectivememories · 11 months

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when we were young..... the most shuggy song ever

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wilsonpussyindulgence · 5 months

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absolutely hilarious thing when i was looking at my tags for all the cr campaigns

#i only use the main tag for things that overlap multiple campaigns so that makes sense #but goddamn that bells hells tag........#it's literally been three years #i'm still watching it every week!!! it's not that i just stopped watching cr #it's just that bh is not..........very.............compelling character wise #i like the campaign just fine! it's fine!#but before fcg told ash ''i wish you cared about something. i wish you cared about me'' the last real character thing was the three deaths #and that's just.........too long. i'm watching a bunch of actors play a game to watch them fight and cry and fall in love #we have that with imogen/laudna and they've barely talked for ages #also i didn't unfollow any cr blogs but they're all sort of......absent #they've all fucked off #just. woof.

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125storejuice · 2 months

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Ah!!!!!!!

#sorry im having a lot a lot of feelings #the social worker person i started working for #today she checked in on me becauee i asked to reschedule our cleaning because of my kitty #anyway she called and was like hey whats the sitiation #and i told her and cried a lot and was like sorry im crying its just sort of default rn lol #anyway she was like we WILL be helping you #she is currently trying to get me in to see her vet #who is about 60% cheaper than the emeregency vet ive been using #and shes going to ask her friends who have money if they want to help me get my kitty to the vet #she wants me to keep being able to grow my business #and doesnt want this situation to set me back at all #im literally sobbing #she and her husband are literally the kindest people i have ever met #i just literally cannot be grateful enough to these phenomenal people and its making me emotional AF on top of everything else!!!!!

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outlanderalien · 12 days

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Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?

#personal #basically we're long distance but I couldn't see him on a weekend because of unavoidable circumstance #we were going to go to his friends wedding but I couldn't make it.#but hes been sending me photos of my empty seat next to his at the venue #and telling me constantly that I would've loved it #so I took issue with it bc i wasnt enjoying that #and he's gone into panic mode and thinks I'm accusing him of being a 4D chess manipulator #and low-key he kind of is. Unconsciously I think but still manipulative.#he uses the whole 'woe is me' and 'I'm just a terrible useless creature pls pity me' bit way too often.#if we have a slightly uncomfortable conversation he will stop engaging with me and try to distract by telling me he loves me.#like literally 'so what do you think?' ... '[laughs nervously] I love you :'')...' imagine that being the only response he gives for an hour #so I've called him out on his difficulty with sincerity and he's just doubling down on the 'pls pity me' stuff and frankly...#i really don't like it #the wedding thing was kind of nothing but his reaction to it was telling #pulling out the whole 'I am horrified you'd think that' guilt-tripping nonsense #followed immediately by 'you overestimate my intelligence if you think im capable of that :'')' pity party.#just. not promising. not good vibes.#to elaborate on the wedding bit: I made the decision that I couldn't make it bc of a busy work week.#he assured me several times that it was okay if I couldn't make it but he stopped messaging for a day after I told him I couldn't #then sent me a photo of my empty seat with a crying emoji and telling me that he wishes I was there and that i would've really loved it #that's not a message sent with the intent to make me feel good is it?#idk reading this back it sounds like an overreaction from me but with the context of my experience with him this is not an isolated thing #it's kind of perpetually like this. then when called out on it he pulls out the love-bombing but doesn't address the actual issue.#idk. idk.#if anyone wants to engage with this post feel free. Any outsider perspective would be welcome.

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osarina · 7 months

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there is nothing more heartbreaking as an older sister for your younger brother to call you at 3:30 am drunk and crying because there’s too much pressure on him and too many high expectations that he feels like he’s not living up to and not being able to do anything about it 🥲

#like i’ve been there 🥲 i’m STILL there tbh 🥲 and it makes me so sad that he’s dealing with all of the same stuff that i have to #our parents have always expected so much out of us it’s so suffocating sometimes #and i just feel so shitty bc i don’t know how to help because you know ?? no one ever helped me like #i can tell him the things i wished ppl told me back then but i know it won’t help #not really #and he was crying because he has no one to talk to about it because his friends & frat brothers don’t get it and just blow it off #and he was like ‘i just didn’t know who else to call i just can’t keep it all in anymore’ 🥲#like how am i not supposed to cry bro #begged me not to tell my parents or our younger sibling because he doesn’t want to disappoint them #i’m just so 🥲

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wuxian-vs-wangji · 3 months

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Yeah... I remember seeing the architectural design majors at my uni having this breakdown each semester...

#love in the air #lita #rain #scriptwriting was the only course within my major famous for making people openly cry #because the professor would eviscerate you with her feedback #not to be mean; but she would look at the feedback you'd already been given by your classmates over and over throughout the course #and if you still hadn't fixed issues she'd really stab into them and rip you apart #she liked me though- i followed the syllabus due dates and no one else did #meaning day 1 i already had a treatment ready by the first class #and even though she told me the syllabus schedule didn't need to be followed; i chose to follow it #because it kept me a week ahead or so #So when I finished each 200+ page draft of my script I was finishing it a week early #which let me focus on other exams in other classes and manage my workload more easily #the only time scriptwriting made me cry was when i spent 6 hours typing draft 6 of a 214 page feature and my computer crashed #erased the whole thing #i'd been typing up the script based on hand notes i'd written on my previous draft so it was easy to recreate #but redoing it took 8 hours since my hands were so tired #but that wasn't the classes fault; that was my fault #i did really well in the class; you just can't take feedback personally and a lot of writers really struggle with that #i've lost so many friends because they claim to be writers who take feedback seriously #and then it turns out they're little bitches about it and throw tantrums after begging me to give them feedback #so now I will not give a friend feedback on anything they write #for the record- the way i was trained is not to be cruel or mean #you literally just go through it like 'here is what I had issues with as a viewer and here are some ideas on how to easily fix that'#always offer a solution #and for every complaint you have to give a complementt #so i'm not out there like gordon ramsey ripping into people; it's very gentle and kind #except when i gave M her round 6 feedback on her script and she STILL insisted Mt Everest was 3 billion years old in her story #AT EVERY STAGE OF THIS SCRIPT I REMINDED YOU IT IS AROUND 30 MILLION YEARS OLD GET IT THROUGH YOUR-

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pikonv5 · 4 months

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my job wants me gone so bad , like 1 month in and they have already brought out their no effort in communication and gaslighting full force, and telling me much of the work I am doing is wrong and accusing me of not doing the basic things like stocking, that I try so hard and am sure to keep up with being the only person working at a time? like if they are going to do this at least do it while i am on the clock..

#this morning i kept apologizing for doing what i was told and trained to do and the lady sent so many messages of 'well I don't remember #telling you' over n over like ??? so then i had to apologize for her not remembering which like no one does that #to that extent unless they are trying to affect you negatively and or try to get you to say something they can use against you #like ive been abused enough i know how it goes 🙃 ??#and then they are like 'why would you be stupid and put in so much effort when you work the busiest shifts of the week?'#when like literally ive got a good eye for design and decent with sales so like i will touch a merchandise make it more presentable #and suddenly the next people coming in will be drawn to the item to buy like im their little magical willy wonka like they said they wanted #on their original job listing #and ofc there is no mention of how the floor is no longer just perpetual dirt mud to slather around bc i actually cleaned the floor #instead of doing there method of just mopping by putting a mop back in dirty mop water.. like you can visibly see the floor crusted when it #is like that and i wont even start on the dust #nor any mention to how the backroom hasnt remained cluttered from extra my extra tidying or severely cluttered by all the work i did #the last two days #just how i have consistently done a bad job not even keeping up with the basics apparently this entire time 😐#anyways 3 hours of my day Wasted and unpaid from how much they made me cry like there is so much more bot mentioned i hate itf

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anotherpapercut · 5 months

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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do

#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me #like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that #and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already #bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back #and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess #but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise #and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help #and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out #and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao #and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw #like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way #and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt #and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years #to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad #she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it #long ass tag story sorry

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fitsinthepalm · 1 year

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it’s kind of wild that you don’t realize how depressed you were until you start feeling better

#does this make sense to anyone else #i’m like currently coming out of a funk #even my therapist told me the past 6 months is the most depressed she’s ever seen me (i’ve been seeing her weekly for 3+ years)#and literally these past like 2-3 weeks since i put my resignation in at my old job #i have had so much energy and motivation #today i walked both dogs and went on a walk with baby girl after daycare #i went to the local nursery and bought mums & pumpkins #i brought out the interior fall decor from storage and put it around the house #like obv i have extra time bc i have some time off before i start my new job #but like!!!! i haven’t *wanted* to do anything for so long #like i was just completely apathetic #i’m gonna cry thinking about it #but it feels so good to feel like i’m turning a corner #hi if you read this far ilysm i am kissing you on the mouth

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indigodawns · 5 months

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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

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