#I have an awful lot of insecurity about being Too Weird for anyone to like for someone who is literally married

[thequietkid-moonie]

Their crush doesn’t think they are being serious

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Lyney, Argenti, Tamaki ]

[ Genshin Impact ] [ Honkai Star Rail ] [ Ouran High School Host Club ]

I admit it ✋🏼🐭🤚🏼 this was really funny to write, specially because is with overwhelmingly beautiful men (I don't say it, science says it)

Lyney

As a magician Lyney has to be misterious and carismatic to captivate the public and perform his magic tricks, he has a gift with words and is actually really talktive (unlike his siblings), is just the way he is and the moment he end up falling in love that part of his personality will just grow more

For Lyney to fall in love it doesn't take much time and yet he isn't exactly easy to fall in love, he needs to know you first but his crush is developed pretty quick, still he stays quite unaware of his own feeling for a while, Lyney is smart and has to have everything under control due being magician but when it comes to you he just knows that you are like part of his family and he wants to be close to you, he wants to make performances for you, magic tricks that will leave you in awe

No matter how much Lyney tries to deny his feeling due his shyness and insecurities it becomes quite obvious for how hard he tries to learn more magic tricks and perfect the ones you like the most, how he is always eager to see your reaction, how he jokes about doing a whole performance only for you or even by the fact that he had gave you rainbow roses at least once

Its thanks to his denial that he can be sending confusing signals since he just insist that all the flirting is because he is a magician! its all part of his magic tricks, and even so he will not quite realice that is thanks to all his confusing signals that you don't take him seriously, is just for the magic after all

At the end it will be Lynette who will make him not only admit his feeling for you but also who will make him realice what he have caused, about how he had being so worried about saying that all is for the magic that he himself is destroying any kind of opportunity he may have with you, and, honeslty, once Lyney finally understand what he have done he feels quite devastated

Then again, it has to be Lynette who get him out of his paniced state to tell him that if he really wants to have a chance with you he better start acting seriously on those feelings, the problems is that he doesn't know what to do now, he has being serious with what he have being trying (despite not fully accepting his feeling yet)

At the end Lyney will not change much on his tactics to try to win your heart but this time he is visibly more sincere, even going as far as putting the magic trick aside for a moment to simply hang out (reducing the magic tricks to small moments just to surprise you and focused on showing a true and direct interest on you), also, at the end Lynette will be dragged into this to help him (despite the fact that she had threated offered to directly go to you and directly tell you about his brother's feelings)

Argenti

As a Knight of beauty Argenti spread the word of the beauty, seeing beauty in everything and everyone, and, as a gentleman he always compliments others since for him is only normal to apreciate all the beauty in the name of Idrila, despite always spreading compliments and sweet words everything he says is said with a lot of sincerity, he wouldn't dare to lie when talking about beauty

For him to develop a crush it isn't too dificult nor takes too much time, still his love grows with time as he gets to know you better, even so, nothing stops him to express that love to you or anyone who is willing to hear, not only love is such a beautiful feeling but he bet that your beauty can only be compared to Idrila themself, and since he doesn't have shame to speak his heart out, being showered in compliments isn't something new nor weird when being with him (unless, of course, it is something that makes you uncomfortable)

It could be quite flattering reciving so much compliments, but since Argenti is always spreding words of appreciation to anything beautiful (wich in his eyes is everything really) it would be understandable to believe that, despite his constant compliments and words of love you aren't too special on his eyes, he sees beauty in everything so it may not really be diferent when those words are directed towards you

Wich couldn't be far from the truth, Argenti has no problem with directly expressing his love to you (but respecting your bounduries), and, honestly, as time pass and he gets to know you better his compliments and words become even more personal and sincere, he start expressing his admiration for who you are

Despite the fact that Argenti seems blinded by his devotion for the beauty he is actually really perceptive, if you don't tell him directly that you don't take too serious his compliments it would only take him a little while for him to notice it, he wouldn't mind much if you are unfazed but he worries that he may be making you uncomfortable or even offending you, so he politely decides to ask you if there is something wrong or even if he is making you uncomfortable

Honestly, he will end up deeply apologize for making you doubt the sincerity of his words before expressing directly the deep love he feels for you, swearing on his life, on his honor as knight of beauty and even in the name of Idrila themself if necesary that he is being completely sincere, he wouldn't dare to joke about something like that or play with your feelings in such cruel and horrible way. Despite being a literal love confesion Argenti doesn't exactly expects an answer right away, he just hopes that with this will put you at ease about his true intentions and love

Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki is quite carismatic and has no shame on flirting with the girls that comes to the host club, in his eyes he is just making them happy so there is nothing bad on it, the problem comes when he develop a crush on someone

For him to fall in love is actually pretty quick, but what will take quite some time is for him to realice those feelings, somehow he sees that crush as a simply close friendship and even insist that is all, he just cares too much for you and since he is the leader of the host club is his responsability to take care of you (even if you aren't part of the club)

Tamaki is stuck between being easily jealous along with wanting your undivided attention and insisting that what he feels aren't romantic feelings, so even if he can be clingy and directly affectionate he just doesn't admit his feeling directly nor out loud, as well, despite being in love with someone he doesn't really let that affect his job as a host (or well, he isn't affected when you aren't around)

At the end the ones who will notice not only his crush but also the fact that his crush doesn’t take him seriously is the rest of the club, who just end up pitying him, while Hikaru and Kaoru like teasing him, Kyoka tries to make him understand that what he is doing is just ruining any kind of chance he has with you, Haruhi tries to help too but she mostly just tell you to don't take him too seriously nor personal, not even him knows what he is doing exactly

It will take a long time of explaining and thinking for him to realice not only his feeling but also how he is actually messing up his oportunity, and even when is the fact that he is flirty and openly affectionate with the people who comes to the club Tamaki feels like is that charisma one of his most valuable quirks, so even if thats the reason why you don't think he is being serious when he flirts with you he will keep trying that way because that is the only way he knows

Once Tamaki finally understand the situation he feels quite devastated, he feel so down and even takes it a little too personal, worrying that you think that he may being trying just to play with your feeling, and yet he tries to woo you with the same cheesy and quite dramatic ways he have always did but this time he is trying his best to show some sincerity too, this time he is trying really hard to show sincere care and love, even some vulnerability

This time it isn't him only saying sweet words, this time Tamaki is trying to win your heart the right way, learning what you like and showing true interest in who you are, hopefuly you will accept his sincere courtships (and maybe forgive him for making you feel like he was just playing around)

[blujayonthewing]

what if a character who was built around comic relief tropes is a whole person despite how she may come across to other people 🤔 what if a character who felt, to me, like probably too much of a silly little weirdo to ever be in any kind of relationship was actually unambiguously appealing to others, in a way that's not itself played as a joke 🤔 what if my response to my own fear of 'will people think it's Weird to imply that anyone might ever be attracted to someone like this' is to say 'well it isn't. you can be weird and beautiful. you can be weird and sexy. you can be weird and still be appealing as a person and partner. it's cultural and subjective and it's also just simply true because I make the rules and I said so' 🤔 what if all that felt affirming to me for no particular reason 🤔🤔🤔

reframing what I had considered to be my least appealing OC as actually being very attractive without changing anything about her as a form of self care

[lotusarchon]

𐙚⭑ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 .ᐟ.

Element:

⋆ Ether

Birthday:

⋆ May 26th

Constellation:

⋆ Velum Caeleste

Region:

⋆ Suraya (Trinidadadian 🇹🇹)

Affiliations:

⋆ usagiiribbons (prev. on Tumblr, now on AO3 only)

⋆ lotusarchon (prev on Tumblr)

⋆ @tomoeffect (Tumblr + rp account)

⋆ @dragonboyanon (Tumblr)

⋆ divider by @plutism

Special Dish

⋆ Stormbreaker Jalebi

Name Card:

⋆ Ali Celestial Radiance

⠀⠀ ⠀the akash archon of the nation of suraya ⠀ׂ 🏵️ ♡ ִ

welcome, welcome! the stars and I are pleased to have you. what can I do for you under the vast expanse of our skies?

I'm Ali! Or Usagii, honestly, whichever is easier for you to remember and use. I'm just a dude tryna write in my free time to cope with my crappy life. Yeah, I know a lot of you like to stalk accounts and bring up the topic of "my life is better than yours", but I don't care. This is my safe haven...until I'm forced to delete it again because of assholes.

Uhhh...what do I say....ah.

I'm 18 years old (26.05.2006), I use masc pronouns (he/him)―(however, she/her and they/them are fine, but they're uncomfortable when strangers use them, because I'm used to be referred to as a AFAB in a disgusting way by people that dislike me), a proud Trini (a bit) and I like writing. I hope to one day further pursue this silly hobby into a career if my motivation stops killing me all the time. Currently, I have a few characters for an original story that I want to edit, but I also have OCs for the fandoms I'm in, depending. Currently, my biggest hyperfixation is Lego Monkie Kid, so that is what'll flood my account the most.

Warning; this account does reader inserts, discussions of self shipping and oc x canon. If you don't like that, leave. Also, it's not spoiler free!! NOT SPOILER FREE!! BE CAREFUL CAUSE I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING SPOILED!!

I don't believe in zodiac signs, but they're funny to listen too. I've been told I show traits of autism and bipolar disorder, and I do relate to a LOT of the symptoms however I am not diagnosed and I am not self diagnosing myself. Furthermore, I also will not use this as an excuse for any inappropriate or awful behavior. This is simply a warning for anyone that visits my account; I do have a weird set of moods that are...bad in one way.

Additionally, I rant. Sometimes I have a lot of peeves about character portrayals, fanon vs canon, and certain things. I am tone-deaf and I am also passionate and write as I think when rambling, so I've been told it "offends" certain bitches. However, that isn't my attention when rambling. I do understand people are comfortable writing (incorrect) character portrayals, and my rambling is not to hurt or make anyone feel insecure about their writing. Write what you want, I don't care. I'm not going out of my way to hate on you for what you're doing. I express an opinion and furthermore I always avoid content I hate.

If you're from my old server and go by a specific six letter name or four letter name, fuck off, why don't ya? And, for others; if you have a problem with me, I promise you can say if. No need to be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and go hiding like highschool children. I'm an adult, and hopefully, you are an adult on my account. I do understand my behavior can be bad, and you can tell me. As a human being, I do want to change. Don't be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and hide and lie, because surprise; that means I'm better than you, because I'm not hiding like a pussy.

Finally, yeah. I do tend to be blunt with my words. I also tend to overexplain, so my apologies if I ever come off as an annoying or offensive.

...do I have anything else to add?? No idea.....

Ah, okay.

I specifically write on three websites only; Wattpad, AO3 and Tumblr.

My Wattpad account is lotuseios. And I haven't posted there for a while, but majority of my oc fanfics were usually posted there.

Currently, I only have AO3 and Tumblr, of which is already mentioned. I only do reblogs on there though. Well, for one. The other is for roleplaying so hey, go hit me up there, I'd love to meet new roleplayers. My AO3 is usagiiribbons only. I have no alternate accounts for AO3, so if ANY of my fics from Tumblr, AO3 and Wattpad are posted on any account or other social that is NOT stated here, please let me know. Like, I'm honored you'll steal but bitch you have bad tastes and fucking get a life and a soul cleansing. (I stole that line from Four fuck heheh).

Ummmmmmmmm. Hmmm I don't think I have anything else....?

Ah, wait. TW.

I am a victim of grooming and sexual abuse/assault and child abuse. This isn't to explain any behavior, however, I'd rather not have people bring up any topics related to this on my blog. I also much prefer no one makes requests like these. As a writer, I do cope by writing with similar themes, but please understand that I'm not romanticizing or glorifying these topics. They're uncomfortable and gross, and when I see proshippers using their trauma as an excuse while being a victim myself, it sickens me. If you think it's okay to glorify this shit because you were a victim, seek better therapy, because your therapist is not working well for you. Aka, proshippers, fuck off my account.

additionally: my theme and current persona may contain elements of genshin impact but I'm clueless on anything new. I like spoilers though, so don't be afraid to share them. Additionally, the entire theme of my Genshin persona right now takes heavy inspiration from my own culture in the Caribbean and my East Indian descent, and also because I am still pissed at the lack of melanin in Genshin. Consider my fake land of Suraya to be filled with POC characters because fuck this.

“oh, you’re leaving? well, safe travels! I’ll be here, watching over the skies and waiting for your return!”

[bathomet-writes]

plus-size reader headcanons!!

relationship: Romantic 2012!Turtles x GN!Reader (separate)

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, sfw, headcanons

author's note: for anonymous!! 💕 i've never written for the 2012 turtles but HOPEFULLY this was good..im looking forward to writing more for them in the future tho

In general, your weight isn’t really a topic of casual conversation with the turtles. Unless you specifically bring it up, it isn’t a thing they talk about. You were you and there was nothing else to it! Who were they to cast judgment upon someone for their appearance?

I mean, look at them. They’re mutant turtles. 

But, they all make you feel more accepted than you’ve ever been. You can really be yourself around them! The turtles treat you the same as anyone else they know. 

….BUT

If you were to ever date one of them—

leo:

if you’re ever insecure about yourself, he immediately wants to know how he can fix it!

he’s very much a gentleman, almost annoying so lol

a family member made a sly comment? your mom is going to get a very stern talking-to 😡😡

a stranger made you feel bad about your body??

well……they’re probably in mortal danger 💀💀

he feels VERY protective over you......a surprise to no one

not that you need any special treatment or anything, but he’s at your every beck and call

leo’s not super comfortable with physical expressions of affection………

but you’re the one exception

lots of blink-and-you-miss-it smooches before running away!! 

if you’re both standing on a rooftop during patrol, he’ll work up the courage to plant a kiss on your cheek

[runs away giggling] that, he’s that meme

it’s a little weird, but incredibly sweet 💖💖

despite being a bit shy, leo’s a real goofball

only because he feels so comfortable around you

earning your trust is like..the most important thing he’s ever done

and he is going to take your relationship SERIOUSLY 😤😤

lots of space heroes marathons where he can have you all to himself (he’s kind of selfish about how much of your attention he gets lol)

donnie:

(for whatever reason) he’s the most chill about it than his brothers would be

donnie’s a smooth operator 😎😎

….at least he thinks he is

he’d try and be suave and give you a bunch of compliments and praise 😘😘✨

whatever you choose to wear, he’d be the first to mention how fetching you look in it 💖

if there’s a fictional character you somewhat resemble, he’d be lowkey really into them

changing his phone background, having many photos of them, making off-handed comments about how cute he thinks they look, etc.

he’s not nearly as smooth as he thinks he is tho

donnie’s experience in courting is…..let’s just say ‘sub-par’ 

you’ve seen how weird he can get when he’s head over heels (with his crush on april)

his crush on you is embarrassingly obvious to everyone, no matter how much he tries to play it cool

he certainly gets an A for effort tho 🥴👍👍

“Do you have…feelings for me, Don? Feelings that border on love?” 😏😏

…………😳😳💦

“Aw, sewer apples.” 

raph:

he’s a bit awkward around you at first…..

raph is used to roughhousing with the people he likes (mostly his family) so he’s nervous about accidentally hurting you or making you uncomfortable

for as callous and rude as he comes off, he’s a bit of a softie when it comes to you

NOT THAT HE GOIN’ SOFT 😤😤

and he doesn’t think you’re anymore soft or delicate…….nothing like that, you’re just too important to treat carelessly

he thinks about you constantly 😵‍💫😵‍💫

raph doesn’t realize it, but he kind of loves the way you look

not in a romantized, idealized way…but he thinks he’s being weird

the last thing he’d want to do is make you feel objectified

or that the only thing that matters about someone is their physical appearance

but….he can’t deny how flustered he gets around you!!

when he’s not a stuttering mess, he loves showing you off ✨✨

p shameless about throwing his arm on your shoulder or other affectionate gestures (hair tussles or noogies, all that good stuff)

will absolutely YELL at you if you ever said anything negative about your appearance

“Hey, if you ever insult my favorite person again, I’ll beat you up!”

“…..Wait, I’m your favorite person?” 😳😳

“WHATEVER.” 😤😤😡😡

mikey:

you sometimes feel a little conflicted about hanging with mikey

because he’s very prone to hugging

not that you like his hugs, they were just a little more enthusiastic than you’re used to getting!!

and they last for a while

you’ll get hugs for minutes, even hours if you’re not careful

it’s nice….if not a bit strange

with an amused smirk, you interrogate him while he’s somehow playing video games in front of the tv

while also hugging you??

“Am I just trapped here forever?”

without looking away from the tv, he nods

“Yup, trapped in my hug prison!” 😄😄

..he’s just secretly really into hugging you

mikey’s usually an open book about his emotions but he’s VERY shy about the subject

boy can’t handle his feelings!!

you’re just too nice to hold onto, hugging you is so much better than hugging anyone else

if you bring it up he just gets v flustered…

“IT’S NOT WEIRD TO WANT TO BE CLOSE TO SOMEONE 24/7!” 😖😖

giving him a big hug will shut him right up 💖

taglist: @saspas-corner

[wolfinshipclothing]

Anne about Sasha and Marcy: It's complicated. I've always been an ongoing person but my own experiences of alienation made me insecure and shy. It doesn't help that Marcy was my first friend to begin with and Sasha was always there to lead the way. In a way, they were safe for me, as I was for them. This made me let pass a lot of unhealthy behavior, like Sasha's need for control and Marcy's need for understanding but unwillingness to open up before her superficial interests. It took me made deep, two-sized connections to realize the way things were was not OK. And yet, after all these years apart, being with them makes me feel safe. Not in the way of: "I'm going to close myself to these two people" but in a... homely way. It feels like we're mean to be together because WE decide we want to be together, better this time.

Marcy about Sasha and Anne: I've never feel like I fit in except with them. Well... no. Even with them I feel like a stranger. Like there was this crystal wall between us and the more I tried to get over it, the taller it got. I needed them to be there for me because I thought if they weren't then I would be alone. Just weird Marcy who everyone thinks is a genius but nobody bothers to understand or befriend. Marcy who DOESN'T LET anyone get close to her because it's difficult and scary, but who couldn't let anyone know she was upset or has need of her own because then she'll be a weight, and who needs to do everything in her power to get people to like her, but without getting too close to see the ugly bits. And nobody wanted to be with that Marcy, not even me. But things are different know. I like myself. I have strengths and weaknesses, good and bad things. But I deserve to be loved and have my needs meet as much as I need to respect the others'. I think me and the girls can do that now. I want to. Not because I fear being alone, but because its them who I choose to be with!

Sasha about Anne and Marcy: 'They're mine'. That's the first thing i thought about them. Not in a possessive manipulative way, no. Not yet. In the way of 'they're my people, they get me, they NEED me'. It all goes back to that. I needed to be needed. To be wanted. To be cherished and to be looked in awe because if they weren't doing it no-one else would. My parents were too busy fighting each other, then ignoring each other, then moving on with their lives. I was something they tossed around. Unwanted. That's how it felt at least. I needed to have some control in my life, I needed something to be stable. At first it was just me doing the planning because I've leader potential, but then I began to shut them down because if I'm not the one keeping the group together, the one in control, the one they admire then... I'm nothing. 'They're mine', I still think to myself, in the same innocent way than the first time. They're my people. They get me. I would do anything for them, but I don't need to rule their lives. Just share mine with them.

[cowboywithacunt]

sorry that this isn't horny but i love the way you responded to that ask calling you "non skinny" or whatever like yeah exactly!! I'm a fat trans guy too and I'm so fucking tired of hearing "aw you're not fat don't say that. you're just fluffy/squishy/there's more of you to love/you just HAVE fat" like. can we stop acting like it's a bad thing and trying to use softer, cuter, fluffier words.

I'm not insulting myself by saying I'm fat. neither is anyone else. we're just mentioning something about how our bodies objectively look. and that is okay. people tiptoeing around the word fat is exactly what made me insecure about it in the first place and I'm so happy to see that you're so proud of it and say it so openly. thank you.

It's just always felt weird to me. Like, it's ok to be fat. It's ok that I'm fat. I don't care if people call me fat, because I am. It'd be like if someone insisted "you're not a brunette, you're just non-blonde! you just lack blonde hair!" lol.

I've been fat my whole life. I'm always gonna be fat. Even at the peak of my athleticism, I was still fat. My body is just built that way! I've got a broad, stout build. There's literally nothing short of plastic surgery that could change it, and even that wouldn't do much.

I was super self conscious about it for a long time, and you know what never, ever helped? That kind of language. Insisting that I'm not actually fat, because being fat is bad, and only other people are fat and gross; I'm fluffy, or heavy, or squishy. Not only did it just remind me that a lot of people see being fat as being a negative trait, but it's also super infantalizing and humiliating to be told that stuff. It's the same thing as when a person sees a fat person posting pics of themselves in revealing clothing, and goes "omg you're so brave and confident!!!" instead of saying they're pretty, cute, handsome, etc. It just shows that they view us as a type of person that needs to be tolerated instead of just treated like everyone else.

Being fat isn't bad. It's just a trait I have. And before anyone comes at me about health, I'm a very healthy man and do plenty of physical activity, but even if I wasn't, that shouldn't matter, because you ought to mind your business.

[ohchosen]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ... get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !

BASICS

NAME:        val AGE:         24 PRONOUNS:         she / they YEARS OF WRITING:          ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.

REFLECTION

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING?           i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES?          not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING?         stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.         oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.

i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.

i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.

three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON

HAVE  YOU  MADE  ANY  STRONG  CONNECTIONS  /  FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING?          i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.

vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.

plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......

lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.

i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.

NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?

tagged by @stagehunt my lover..... tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez

[katyspersonal]

Seluvis for character ask! >:D

(From this ( x ) ask meme)

First impression: Wow, this guy is a TOTAL creep! This specific snobby, arrogant aura also makes him even MORE British than his accent! xD Also his face data looks like that one guy who """accidentally""" touches women in weird places in the crowded bus :/ You know, THAT one guy. He has really good voice acting though, and his pretentious, arrogant manner of talking is cute.... oh no 😳

Impression now: I still think he has the sexiest voice acting in the entire game, I am slightly less obsessed with him by now but if given the reason, I can write essays simply analyzing his character and making suggestions about his personality, backstory and what-if scenarios with other characters! He is just so goddamn fun to rotate in my mind. (And yeahhh well, I really really really love wizard aesthetic. Sorry guys, Willem will always be more thicc than Gehrman could EVER.)

Favorite moment: As great as his descent into mania was, I simply love the transition from being cold, condescending and mean with us to getting warmer with us because he "hadn't had an apprentice for a while"... It becomes painfully obvious that he admires himself so much because no one else ever would, and I am just such a sucker for mean character showing that secret gentle side. Like.. He needs approval and attention just like every other human being, this is a sweet moment x)

Idea for a story: I actually didn't think of scenarios all that much. However, I did have a guilty daydreaming period about an OC that was his apprentice, but she was showing a lot more creativity, intellect and talent than he'd teach her, and it started to seriously wound his ego. So he'd like, start to belittle her ideas and discoveries, try to gaslight her into thinking her inventions were dumb and he knew better, and in the end just... send her to get him some stuff that doesn't exist (as means to never see her again). I don't know enough about the lore to tell whether she is out there still or no, and yes, awful pettiness, I know. It is less a story and more deep dive into his insecurity and narcissism by using an abstract other person for a display.

Unpopular opinion: As much as I like to joke about him being sexist, in the end, I don't REALLY think that. He makes male puppets too, you know. xD Basically, he will be a creep to ANYONE, regardless of gender. Bi/Pan representation we deserve ;-; xDDDD :')

Favorite relationship: Him and Sellen really deserve each other tbh. I do not mean it like in a ship way; Seluvis is uhhh...... well, a simp in such a way that he doesn't deserve a chance, to say the least, and Sellen seems to be completely disinterested in relationship period because studying cosmos just takes her ENTIRE focus. But I mean like, a mix of rivalry (he is with the Carians and she is with the primevial current) and actually helping each other with crimes x) They share more in common than meets the eye! And both have foolish plans going against Ranni of all people, like the overly-confident idiots that they are ;-;

Favorite headcanon: He feels exact proximity with the puppets as what he says! Starlight Shards that "control fate of humans" are used to make his potion, so naturally, drinking his potion binds the person's fate with him (or with someone else, depends on what he's doing). It is, well... incredibly intimate experience on its own, but he perceives it much deeper than just creating servants. He is desperate for human bonds, but his snarky narcissistic personality makes him not be liked by anyone with their free will unaffected. :(

[taegularities]

Hi Rid. I hope you're having a great day. So umm I'm gonna be ranting about something or a certain someone so please bear with me.

There's this person and they're popular for doing this one thing. Everyone's like always hyping them up no matter what they do. They talk about this person as if they could do nothing wrong and they're all sunshine and sprinkles. And quite frankly I like their work as well and I acknowledge their efforts.

Now I am generally one of the observers and i recently started to uhh show my hidden talent as well lol and honestly, I was doing it gir myself, not for anyone else's validation or anything. I wanted to do it because I felt like it and some people ended up liking it which I'm very thankful for and i was getting compliments from a few people here and there so it was good and i decided to do it again and i already informed ONLY the person in charge of those activities. And that person mentioned that they liked it in front of everyone. And out of nowhere this person (the “OG” as they like to call them) suddenly wants to do it too when they're already in the middle of something else that requires a lot of attention? And everyone EVERYONE is going crazy over it. They all completely ignored that I am currently doing it already. I've also noticed that this person always responds/talks to almost everyone but me which is weird cause I never behave disrespectfully or rudely to that person.

See idk if I'm overreacting of anything but i feel dismissed, ignored and neglected. I know not everybody is going to like it but isn't it disrespectful to me? It gets too much sometimes I feel like disappearing from that place altogether without saying anything cause I know nobody cares but I also know that I'm doing this for myself not for validation but it still feels awful at times. Idk if I'm just being a bad person or insecure it's just that i really wanted to get this out and i apologize if I'm in the wrong. I'm really sorry if I'm acting childish but you can't always be mature right?

hey hey. you have no reason to apologise at all… we're allowed to indulge in something we enjoy for ourselves and still feel shitty when we feel like our efforts are being diminished just bc someone else with a larger group around them decided to do it, too. if you're feeling bleh about it, then that's your right, not overreacting (i hate that word, bc we're all literally just reacting, right? our feelings aren't nothing, no matter what).

if you'd like, you can talk to them. not in like, a confrontational way, but more like – ask them if they could at least 'credit' you and let people know that you did it first. even if you're only doing it for yourself, it's okay to want validation and praise somewhere inside, yk? so yeah, i'd tell them – on top of that, also let them know that you feel neglected and ignored. my biggest advice is always communication – maybe bc i hate being silent about what hurts me, so i just go and try to resolve it asap 😭 maybe it works for you, as well!! <3

[whoblewboobear]

Realizing that if I ask questions when I’m unsure or nervous about something, the world won’t end and no one is gonna yell at me for it and if they do, it’s probably a weird ass response to have.

I was getting nervous bc I havent seen one of my besties irl in about a year/longer. And I work during the day so it has to be after 5:30. So just asking, “hey, did you have something in mind for us to do/where are we meeting?” Is so much easier than stewing in nerves until the time comes just to scramble to think of something when we could’ve figured it out earlier.

I’m meeting her bf for the first time and I’m already nervous about that so taking one thing off the table to not be nervous about is good.

It just makes me realize how badly fucked up I am from my mom that I’m too scared to do or ask anything out of fear of being attacked for not speaking up or trying to make things easier. Like generally people are a lot kinder than she is.

Like sure if I’m at home it means staying to myself unless I wanna be talked over, yelled at, begged for money, etc. But then going to spend time with literally anyone else is okay. Having other people respect my boundaries when I set them is reassuring or having them hear me out. Like talking to my sister and her confirming that our mom is getting worse or talking to my therapist and her helping me with my fear of confrontation is good. Makes me feel a little more normal.. and being reassured that wanting to go no contacts doesn’t make me awful.

It’s so.. fucking weird. Bc my entire life I was told my mom that I walked funny, talked funny, was too loud, too quiet, mean, disrespectful, boring, awful, and then finally that I make her life miserable, then being reminded that every day that she wants me gone. Like- obviously now I’m an adult and I know that there’s not a single thing I could do to make my mom change or love me unconditionally. But it’s hard to see all that and realize how insecure and desperate I am for it in all other relationships.

I have very very good and loving relationships in my life, I do. And I appreciate that they get it, even the ones that don’t know the full extent of the abuse. But I hate that I need constant reassurance from them that I’m not annoying or too much. And I’m always apologizing for it which makes me feel :/ bc

Like deprogram my ass. I’m so tired of being hit full force with my mommy issues. Like this woman couldn’t be half assed to care about me I shouldn’t let her have power over me. And yet~ here I am. Spiraling and being shocked when people are genuinely kind to me or happy to see me bc it feels so forgein. Like my own mom doesn’t like me, why would anyone?

And then talking myself down like, she’s the asshole. She’s the problem. Not everyone is like that. And then I get stuck with people like my coworker who’s like a carbon fucking copy of my mom right down to the nastiness and it makes me wanna scream. But at least at work I can mind my business. At home it’s like my mom will yell until I bark back so she can call me awful OR ignore her she she plays the victim and tries to turn my sister and her side of the family against me. It’s- like ofc when I move out I never wanna see you again. You hate me.

[hellsvestibule]

Something particularly frustrating about someone approaching you for friendship or whatever kind of relationship, and you trying to put your best foot forward and trying not to seem too anxious and depressed only for them to slowly build up this awful resentment towards you and everyone else you involve them with bc they themselves have depression or social anxiety or social awkwardness from autism or trauma related mood disregulation or trust issues due to bad past relationships things like that. Which, don’t get me wrong, makes socializing genuinely hard, and you’re trying to accommodate that, like oh it’s no problem, same hat actually I’m just very good at masking and people pleasing so I seem a lot more grounded than most but yeah no my inner world is constant turnmoil and I have to fight tooth and nail to stay sane and positive. And you can tell they do not believe you bc you’re the “type of person” who isn’t supposed to have real problems, they were counting on you to cleanse them of their insecurities by having flawless communication which never upsets or invalidates them, but the kicker is they have no interest or ability to reciprocate. They bought the mask and refuse to listen to you that it’s a mask, the mere ability to mask is itself concept beyond reach or understanding so they increasingly just. look at you with utmost loathing. like “you could Never understand what I go through, I’m constantly socially rejected for being different from everyone.” And then you’ve finally got to break it to them that 1. You get socially rejected for that all the time too, believe it or not, you aren’t universally loved and a lot of people have in fact, been very cruel to you, and 2. you’re socially rejecting them too, not bc they’re weird but bc they’re kinda an asshole who offers little conversationally except self pity, and they don’t really seem to like you or anyone else, they just want a one-sided validation machine and might as well be talking to a fucking chat gbt therapist for how little care they show towards you as a person.

[weebsinstash]

Not really sure what genre music you like, but honestly Cannibal by Neathan Apollo makes for a good Val x defiantReader song, recommend it as a listen :>

I've always had a weird relationship with music because I kind of grew up online so a lot of music tastes have been stumbled onto. Like unironically I love the music meme megamixes that switch tracks every few seconds or kind of joke around with certain chord progressions, or they like, mash-up video game music with popular artists.

Before we move on to some of my ideas, this song, right! It can almost apply to either Reader OR Val if you think about it, because from a toxic narcissists perspective Valentino may also consider you to be a sort of little manipulator capable of pulling his strings, but the line that jumps out at me is

"Time for my confession

You're toxic but infectious

You feed off my attention

Well? Starve"

I constantly think about, like, if Reader is just, someone who at least tries to be a nice person if it isn't as natural. And maybe Val gets a little too cozy and comfortable with how polite and sweet you are, running little errands for him, bringing him food and drinks when he asks, seeming to listen closely with interest and dedication when he speaks, and one day he fucks up. Maybe he's been teasing you yet it's nothing too awful but one day he mocks you in front of others about something you're insecure about and he can just see the shift in your expression, and from then on you're like night and day. You quietly set his drinks down and walk away instead of making eye contact and smiling and asking if he wants anything else. He texts you to fetch him something, and someone else brings it in your stead (maybe you even outright paid them because you didn't want to see the Overlord THAT bad)

One of those real "didn't know what you had until it was gone" kind of scenarios where maybe he starts getting pissy because he tells himself you're just having an awful attitude or being an ungrateful brat for no reason and he has no idea "what he did". I imagine he wouldn't take it very well. I can see him trying to crack a joke or make a comment that normally would have at least made you fake laugh and you just glance at him, say nothing, and look back to your phone, gritting his teeth before asking you what your fucking problem is, making it confrontational, and any further sass you display counts against you. The real salt in his wounds is if he catches you being nice and doing things for someone else that you used to do for him, because then he's getting fucking jealous and possessive and god forbid if you're trying to date someone during this time period, they will go missing, Val doesn't really want you dating anyone period anyways. Even if he is so much as keeping you as a groupie or a servant, you're still "his" and he doesn't like to share without some incentive

((As a side note can I piss and moan that tumblr made some sort of adjustment again and now I can't put anything in italics or bold without it doing it to the entire paragraph because it is so fucking annoying, why is it doing this???? Is it this new phone? I use italics a lot in my writing and this is so fucking obnoxious 😩 i basically can't use italics or bold anymore AT ALL without redoing it over and over and over and at some point i just give up)

But moving on to my suggestions, as someone who likes to get stoned and listen to music while I do my not-actually-writing writing-adjacent daydreaming, I've kind of found few songs that I think of stories for? Actually I found a really good one literally within the last I think two days? I was listening to Just A Waste by PinkPantheress and realized it fits a lot of the concepts and ideas I've had for a hazbin based Reader, while also having a very funky synthy vibe like the time period Valentino is from

How'd it ever get so wrong? Crying on the floor of a washroom stall (working at the club as a waitress only being able to really cry in the bathroom)

You don't know where I'm from, Don't know how I got here but I'm all alone (self explanatory and also works for ideas for a Reader who doesn't know how they died)

I've been waking up as lonely as I did before (works for a Reader who was depressed n shit before death)

A line from the second verse hits harder with "I never asked to be driven away in a foreign car, 'cause the bus will take me just as long, and now I gotta sleep with the lights still on now" like, this is peak, it fits so well. You took his help because you were scared and vulnerable but you really didn't have a choice in context, being freshly dead and alone and confused and panicking, and he was just RIGHT THERE, but after you're in his clutches you realize how dangerous and foolish it was and how maybe risking it on your own would have been as equally unsafe

I also tend to have just. Plotless "Reader getting frustrated and singing" sort of ideas which fits into, the vibe of Hazbin, they do just kind of break out into song, it's a cartoon, but also who doesn't vibe out to music and think of someone belting out to it? So sometimes I also think of the ever so elusive Male Reader, maybe you're kinda on the downlow, making yourself kind of boring and uninteresting because why would you try to stand out when your boss is a horny pansexual sex trafficker, and eventually enough little jabs and comments get under your skin and it's like "oh what, you want me to bounce my ass and shake my hips, put on a little show for you? Bitch I was a musician, I did this shit professionally, i could do this shit in my sleep" and you drop a bop or two or three where you're sassy and snapping your body to the beat just because you're frustrated and tired of being mocked and its like "whoops you kind of just dropped a really high quality performance out of basically rage and outed yourself as a potential asset he can use", this of course being intensified if you were lucky enough to get those Alastor esque showman powers where you can essentially summon little shadow goonies who love doing what you say/etc

Angel and Reader getting into it and Reader all "oh what, you think pole dancing is hard? Maybe 50 years ago, now white women taking yoga classes in strip malls learn that shit to be trendy, you aren't special" and Reader was like some pole dancing instructor in like a very sanitized downtown LA kinda way kwim and just to prove a point busts out some of the things they know and, oh joy there's Big V himself watching his two favorites getting catty with each other and enjoying it

Idk I just think of a lot of ideas involving music and dancing and things like that lol. Shit I've even been getting more into like drift phonk and more aggressive synthetic kind of music and sometimes I think of "imagine if Reader was waiting tables for Val and eas just secretly building some sort of massive career or online fame and one day Val is hanging out with his boyfriend and Vox has something on his phone playing and you just point like, 'oh hey that's my song, what do you like about it? I wanna come out with a new album but I'm looking for inspiration"

I guess this is kind of ultra specific but I also like the idea of like, Val clearly has no problem publicly mocking Vox and humiliating him, so I can just see like, Valentino shitting on Vox's taste in music, all "what, did a robot make that? How are you even supposed to dance to that? Cringe" and Reader is just kind of tired and annoyed with Mr big dick over here always pretending he has one over on other people and everything he likes is cool and everyone else is a loser, and you just, pop out of your seat and start shuffling, and if you remember the concept with Reader who can make their hair and or eyes glow, I like to think of Reader sort of pulsing on the beat, with all kinds of songs really. Imagine you're just trying to vibe on the dance floor at a club and your hips are swaying and light pulsing on the beat and it's like honey, your boss is a MOTH

I bet with Valentino it's a constant struggle depending on who you are. Trying to stay under his radar and not stand out too much but maybe needing some of his favor and protection where you at least need to be somewhat close to him. Not wanting his lust and possessiveness but maybe you're lonely or need some sort of acknowledgement you aren't completely worthless. Not wanting him to know you've got a specific talent but it being something so crucial to who you are that he finds out eventually, whether it's writing music or performing or dancing or writing or art or even skills that may help him in his criminal businesses like having magical powers or even having knowledge in chemistry or cooking drugs/making synthetics. Shit, I've even thought about a Reader who is a massage therapist or a chiropractor and next thing you know he has you becoming his personal "doctor", happy endings included.

[unlikely-bloom]

you don’t have to post this bc tbh i feel its a #hot take lmao but style fans are so insecure regarding kyman its honestly funny. like you hate it so much but you talk about it an awful lot! and anytime anyone ever criticizes style, even if they’re not a kyman shipper, the styles always turn it into an anti kyman argument and talk about how terrrribbbllee kyman is as if that somehow excuses them for being weird af and treating kyle like absolute trash and fetishizing him as a uwu soft baby bottom all the time lol.

not that kyman is terrible! lol im a kyman shipper too so i don’t think that haha but man they love using kyman as a gotcha all in the name of excusing any bad behavior within their own ranks…. embarrassing

this whole thing is embarrassing, bruh.

we now have coined the term “mommy kyle haters” and for that i apologize. No one should have to read the words “mommy kyle hater” with their eyes.

[zapanashesblog]

The Narcissism in Self-Hatred: Are We All Just Really into Ourselves?

David Foster Wallace famously noted, “there’s a lot of narcissism in self-hatred,” a statement that’s resonated widely—especially with anyone who’s ever found themselves deep in a self-critical spiral. It feels like a contradiction, right? Narcissism and self-hatred are supposed to be opposites. Narcissists are those people who take way too many selfies and think they’re God’s gift to the universe, while self-haters are the people who look in the mirror and see nothing but flaws.

Yet, Wallace suggests they might just be two sides of the same coin. And if you think about it, there’s something uncomfortably true about that. Let’s break it down.

The Self-Centeredness of Self-Criticism

Imagine someone who spends hours in front of a mirror—not out of vanity, but because they’re picking apart everything they think is wrong with their appearance. Or someone who replays every minor social misstep from a conversation a week ago, thinking of all the ways they “sounded stupid.” Self-hatred can lead to a hyper-fixation on oneself, like being your own worst critic, publicist, and press all at once. Sure, the self-focus is negative, but it’s still a form of self-obsession.

Psychologists talk about something called “negative grandiosity.” It’s the belief that your flaws are somehow bigger, worse, or more significant than anyone else’s. You’re not just insecure; you’re uniquely flawed. It’s an odd sort of pride that can keep you locked in an endless loop of self-loathing. After all, if you’re secretly the worst person you know, that means you’re special in a weird, twisted way.

It sounds absurd, but it’s not uncommon. Self-hatred, as much as it seems to tear us down, often ends up reinforcing our identity. Instead of building ourselves up, we build our own little mythology of brokenness, one that we cling to just as fiercely as any narcissist clings to their image.

Why Self-Hatred Can Feel So Addictive

This is where it gets sticky: self-hatred can become weirdly comforting. On the surface, it’s awful. No one wants to hate themselves. But over time, criticizing yourself can turn into a ritual, a habit as familiar as brushing your teeth. It’s a little hit of control. After all, if you’re the one beating yourself up, no one else can get there first. It becomes an anchor, a predictable narrative about who you are. “I’m a failure,” “I always mess things up,” “I’m the worst friend/partner/employee.” These thoughts can feel like facts, even though they’re stories we tell ourselves.

Interestingly, self-hatred and narcissism share something in common: both can act as defenses. Narcissism often masks insecurity, with self-love shielding deep fears of inadequacy. Self-hatred does something similar, just in a negative way. When we’re consumed by our flaws, we avoid the vulnerability that comes with self-acceptance. Why? Because real self-acceptance would mean letting go of our comforting (if painful) self-narrative and facing the uncertainty of change.

Are We All Secretly Narcissists?

Now, I can hear you saying, “Hold on—I’m not obsessed with myself!” But the truth is, we all have a little narcissism in us. Think of it as a survival mechanism. Narcissism is our mind’s way of giving us some spotlight in a world that’s overwhelming and often indifferent. Even self-hatred, with all its pain, can provide us with a sense of control, a way to feel unique in the vast, chaotic universe.

The irony is that while we’re convinced our problems are uniquely “us,” most people are too busy worrying about their own insecurities to focus on ours. This idea can be liberating if you let it be. The pressure to be extraordinary—whether in self-hatred or self-love—starts to dissolve when we realize how ordinary we really are.

In a way, Wallace’s observation is an invitation to zoom out. The world doesn’t revolve around our every mistake and flaw. It’s humbling, yes, but also freeing. We’re all just humans fumbling through, trying to make sense of ourselves in a world that’s neither paying as much attention nor judging as harshly as we often think.

How to Break the Cycle

If self-hatred is a form of narcissism, then maybe it can be tackled the same way we approach classic narcissism: by fostering a healthy sense of perspective. Here are a few ideas I have bee trying:

1. Practice Radical Self-Compassion: This sounds cheesy, but hear me out. Self-compassion is different from self-esteem. It’s not about thinking you’re amazing; it’s about acknowledging that you’re human. You mess up, just like everyone else, and that’s okay. If a friend was saying the things you say to yourself, you’d intervene. Try to treat yourself with that same kindness.

2. Step Outside Your Own Head: Self-hatred tends to grow in echo chambers. Try focusing on someone else. Volunteer, listen actively to a friend, or even just people-watch. It’s surprisingly refreshing to realize that everyone else has their own tangled inner world too.

3. Reframe Self-Criticism as Curiosity: Instead of being “bad,” what if you’re just human? Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes, be curious about them. Why did you make that choice? What can you learn? Shifting from judgment to curiosity can transform your inner dialogue from hostile to helpful.

4. Let Go of the ‘Special Flaw’ Myth: One of the biggest myths we tell ourselves is that we’re uniquely broken. But flaws are human universals. No one’s perfect. Once we stop telling ourselves that our insecurities are unique, we can begin to see them for what they are—ordinary. Painful, yes, but also shared.

5. Laugh at Your Own Expense: Humor can be a fantastic way to break the intensity of self-hatred. It can remind us that, in the grand scheme, our insecurities are often pretty ridiculous. Next time you’re cringing at something you said or did, try imagining yourself as the protagonist in a comedy.

The Freedom in Letting Go

Ultimately, Wallace’s observation is about self-awareness. Recognizing the narcissism in self-hatred doesn’t mean we need to beat ourselves up even more (wouldn’t that just be more self-obsession?). Instead, it invites us to release our iron grip on those flaws and insecurities. You don’t need to be the worst, or the best, or anything in between. You’re allowed to just be.

So next time you find yourself spiraling, try asking, “Am I really this uniquely terrible, or am I just giving myself too much airtime?” Self-awareness without self-centeredness is a beautiful thing. And if we can laugh at ourselves in the process, well, that’s even better.

After all, if there’s a lot of narcissism in self-hatred, maybe there’s also a lot of freedom in letting it go.

[notafunkiller]

Ok this is weird, deux just post podcast and read the blind mail that seb cheat on leighton and thats why they broke up. Why bring this up after 9 years from the brake up? Plus seb mention that leighton was his first love, would he tell that if he cheat on her and rish someone bringing the story up after ? I dont think so. Plus the mail was from the woman who is friends of producer who knows leighton friend and i rhink maybe leighton too at that time and from them she knows that its 3 person line thatthis story have to go threw and its weird as hell. Also why they dont use that up back then, leighton would have better career and better press(sorry not sorry but hw can be sick, but they will sell her as heart broken girl, couple of songs and boom new star was created). And of course deux was so quick to belive it, but im not suprise she belive the prank mail some fans send about chris and even label it as 'her source' for this to be bunch of lies that a lot of people laugh at, her news are not check or just not true, anyone could write that. Also i think deux dont like seb, looking how she speak only about him with aw, support aw, make her likes under posts beliveble information about rs, convining us about their love, and not to mention she was the first one to post rome pic that aw like after a secound without beeing tag in post and also the article she wrote on her page what was basically a glorify post for aw i think she is more on aw pay roll than seb and she just wrote what she get. Also weird this all come up after seb ignore aw, more and more but mention his mom and leighton. First shippers attack his mom now his ex gf after 9 years(blaiming seb on something we cant say for sure he did)i think i see a pattern in this. Because anyone can write that mail, i think i might go and write one myself see what happen

1. We do not know AND IT'S NONE of our business how they broke up.

Even if he cheated, as someone who is against chetaing 100%, I can still say that does jot mean he is a bad person because he was young and getting famous and we know he has issue (trauma, insecurity). Would it be justified? No. Would this make him a villain? No. If he did it (dhame on him) and he still mentioned her = he regrets it and always will. We evolve as people. I am really happy Leighton is doing amazing: has a great career, she's married and happy.

2. DM is a jokeee, pls. Changing narratives, being paid, posting without checking the sources etc.

3. The people who attacked his mom (as I said before: crazyyy), need help! Also, the way they attacked Leighton when Sebastian brought her up!!! Insane!

[privacyredux]

53oz

8:57pm - joshua tree

this'll be quick bc i'm pretty distracted to be honest. i just don't wanna lose the habit by skipping on it completely. i tried to talk to charlie about what she'd want from japan, but i think she kind of just seemed happy that i wanted to get her anything at all and insisted i should pick it out and she'd be happy with whatever. eric more or less confirmed the same thoughts on her. it's nice and i know she'll be happy with anything bc i thought of her, but i really hope i manage to find something she'd actually enjoy not just have and hold on to bc it was a gift. good luck to me i guess haha

i had some more pretty deep talks with valeria last night about relationships and like future shit. it was honestly pretty interesting how supportive she was on some of my feelings on things. there have been multiple occasions where i kind of felt like it would be on me to compromise the biggest in a relationship bc if i was unwilling it would feel like taking something important away from the other person. and even having those kinds of feelings sometimes felt like i was hanging on to something immature and stupid. and i'll be honest at the root of some of those feelings there are insecurities and hurt feelings, but it was just kind of nice to have someone validate that it's not wrong to feel that way and it isn't actually taking something away from a person you love. i think ultimately, it still depends on the relationship and the two people as to what an actual compromise would be, but i dunno. i said it already, but it felt kind of validating and i felt a bit less like an asshole. i'm really hoping we can keep up with talk about this kind of shit once im not in la and im on tour and even when she's touring... i don't know if there's any specific tour she's headed on soon, but if she does. it's really a good spot in my day.

we also, earlier today rather than late last night spoke about some of the stories in the podcast i was listening too. one was about a doll that was connected to a ghost of a toddler where the woman who bought the doll threw it in the trash after encountering the ghost and just how awful it is to have thrown out that little girl ghost like that. particularly bc when she'd taken the doll home initially she had treated her with some motherly care it just ugh. it sucked to think about things from the little girl's perspective and i just had to vent about it. plus there was one where a little girl dreamt a premonition about the next day that saved her life, but it also had disappointing elements of her father kind of not showing enough concern/not believing her experiences. also required a decent amount of venting. it was nice to share though.

she did confirm last night that she does enjoy talking to me about as much as i do her, so that was good. made me feel better and like i wasn't being some fucking weirdo up her ass bothering her about dumb shit all the time.

eric and i talked a bit today about girls and shit. he kinda knows more or less where im at with things. obviously i don't get too into specifics on everything, but i think he knows and understands where im coming from. it's a weird situation with being busy and also wanting to really get to know people i dunno. it was nice to talk about it a little bit. and then, i think things are going fairly well between him and charlie. like there definitely seem to be moments one or both of them backs off a little bit maybe due to nerves maybe not, but it seems like they've been good at talking shit through and moving forward. i told him he's blown past me at this point. i haven't even kissed anyone for... well a decent amount of time. not even a ghost. i think im happy though.

tomorrow is rosalie's party and then i'll go home. i feel like im gonna want to fit in a lot of stuff tomorrow and as much as it feels like a bit of a goodbye i'm really not even gone that long. i think it's just the process of getting your shit together and getting out the door that makes it feel like it's going to be a long time, but it's nothing at all. could practically go unnoticed. heh i guess this wasn't quite as short as i was thinking itd be, but it always seems to go that way i think.

the one last thing is once im back from japan i need to figure out all my individual show dates and figure out what i wanna do about asking if anyone wants to come etc. and that'll probably help to sort out my head a bit. that and time.

my mind's really on s'mores now though and all the potential combinations.

you can't be missed if you never go away - cobra starship