#I have an awful lot of insecurity about being Too Weird for anyone to like for someone who is literally married

[blujayonthewing]

what if a character who was built around comic relief tropes is a whole person despite how she may come across to other people 🤔 what if a character who felt, to me, like probably too much of a silly little weirdo to ever be in any kind of relationship was actually unambiguously appealing to others, in a way that's not itself played as a joke 🤔 what if my response to my own fear of 'will people think it's Weird to imply that anyone might ever be attracted to someone like this' is to say 'well it isn't. you can be weird and beautiful. you can be weird and sexy. you can be weird and still be appealing as a person and partner. it's cultural and subjective and it's also just simply true because I make the rules and I said so' 🤔 what if all that felt affirming to me for no particular reason 🤔🤔🤔

reframing what I had considered to be my least appealing OC as actually being very attractive without changing anything about her as a form of self care

[lotusarchon]

𐙚⭑ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 .ᐟ.

Element:

⋆ Ether

Birthday:

⋆ May 26th

Constellation:

⋆ Velum Caeleste

Region:

⋆ Suraya (Trinidadadian 🇹🇹)

Affiliations:

⋆ usagiiribbons (prev. on Tumblr, now on AO3 only)

⋆ lotusarchon (prev on Tumblr)

⋆ @tomoeffect (Tumblr + rp account)

⋆ @dragonboyanon (Tumblr)

⋆ divider by @plutism

Special Dish

⋆ Stormbreaker Jalebi

Name Card:

⋆ Ali Celestial Radiance

⠀⠀ ⠀the akash archon of the nation of suraya ⠀ׂ 🏵️ ♡ ִ

welcome, welcome! the stars and I are pleased to have you. what can I do for you under the vast expanse of our skies?

I'm Ali! Or Usagii, honestly, whichever is easier for you to remember and use. I'm just a dude tryna write in my free time to cope with my crappy life. Yeah, I know a lot of you like to stalk accounts and bring up the topic of "my life is better than yours", but I don't care. This is my safe haven...until I'm forced to delete it again because of assholes.

Uhhh...what do I say....ah.

I'm 18 years old (26.05.2006), I use masc pronouns (he/him)���(however, she/her and they/them are fine, but they're uncomfortable when strangers use them, because I'm used to be referred to as a AFAB in a disgusting way by people that dislike me), a proud Trini (a bit) and I like writing. I hope to one day further pursue this silly hobby into a career if my motivation stops killing me all the time. Currently, I have a few characters for an original story that I want to edit, but I also have OCs for the fandoms I'm in, depending. Currently, my biggest hyperfixation is Lego Monkie Kid, so that is what'll flood my account the most.

Warning; this account does reader inserts, discussions of self shipping and oc x canon. If you don't like that, leave. Also, it's not spoiler free!! NOT SPOILER FREE!! BE CAREFUL CAUSE I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING SPOILED!!

I don't believe in zodiac signs, but they're funny to listen too. I've been told I show traits of autism and bipolar disorder, and I do relate to a LOT of the symptoms however I am not diagnosed and I am not self diagnosing myself. Furthermore, I also will not use this as an excuse for any inappropriate or awful behavior. This is simply a warning for anyone that visits my account; I do have a weird set of moods that are...bad in one way.

Additionally, I rant. Sometimes I have a lot of peeves about character portrayals, fanon vs canon, and certain things. I am tone-deaf and I am also passionate and write as I think when rambling, so I've been told it "offends" certain bitches. However, that isn't my attention when rambling. I do understand people are comfortable writing (incorrect) character portrayals, and my rambling is not to hurt or make anyone feel insecure about their writing. Write what you want, I don't care. I'm not going out of my way to hate on you for what you're doing. I express an opinion and furthermore I always avoid content I hate.

If you're from my old server and go by a specific six letter name or four letter name, fuck off, why don't ya? And, for others; if you have a problem with me, I promise you can say if. No need to be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and go hiding like highschool children. I'm an adult, and hopefully, you are an adult on my account. I do understand my behavior can be bad, and you can tell me. As a human being, I do want to change. Don't be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and hide and lie, because surprise; that means I'm better than you, because I'm not hiding like a pussy.

Finally, yeah. I do tend to be blunt with my words. I also tend to overexplain, so my apologies if I ever come off as an annoying or offensive.

...do I have anything else to add?? No idea.....

Ah, okay.

I specifically write on three websites only; Wattpad, AO3 and Tumblr.

My Wattpad account is lotuseios. And I haven't posted there for a while, but majority of my oc fanfics were usually posted there.

Currently, I only have AO3 and Tumblr, of which is already mentioned. I only do reblogs on there though. Well, for one. The other is for roleplaying so hey, go hit me up there, I'd love to meet new roleplayers. My AO3 is usagiiribbons only. I have no alternate accounts for AO3, so if ANY of my fics from Tumblr, AO3 and Wattpad are posted on any account or other social that is NOT stated here, please let me know. Like, I'm honored you'll steal but bitch you have bad tastes and fucking get a life and a soul cleansing. (I stole that line from Four fuck heheh).

Ummmmmmmmm. Hmmm I don't think I have anything else....?

Ah, wait. TW.

I am a victim of grooming and sexual abuse/assault and child abuse. This isn't to explain any behavior, however, I'd rather not have people bring up any topics related to this on my blog. I also much prefer no one makes requests like these. As a writer, I do cope by writing with similar themes, but please understand that I'm not romanticizing or glorifying these topics. They're uncomfortable and gross, and when I see proshippers using their trauma as an excuse while being a victim myself, it sickens me. If you think it's okay to glorify this shit because you were a victim, seek better therapy, because your therapist is not working well for you. Aka, proshippers, fuck off my account.

additionally: my theme and current persona may contain elements of genshin impact but I'm clueless on anything new. I like spoilers though, so don't be afraid to share them. Additionally, the entire theme of my Genshin persona right now takes heavy inspiration from my own culture in the Caribbean and my East Indian descent, and also because I am still pissed at the lack of melanin in Genshin. Consider my fake land of Suraya to be filled with POC characters because fuck this.

“oh, you’re leaving? well, safe travels! I’ll be here, watching over the skies and waiting for your return!”

[bathomet-writes]

plus-size reader headcanons!!

relationship: Romantic 2012!Turtles x GN!Reader (separate)

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, sfw, headcanons

author's note: for anonymous!! 💕 i've never written for the 2012 turtles but HOPEFULLY this was good..im looking forward to writing more for them in the future tho

In general, your weight isn’t really a topic of casual conversation with the turtles. Unless you specifically bring it up, it isn’t a thing they talk about. You were you and there was nothing else to it! Who were they to cast judgment upon someone for their appearance?

I mean, look at them. They’re mutant turtles. 

But, they all make you feel more accepted than you’ve ever been. You can really be yourself around them! The turtles treat you the same as anyone else they know. 

….BUT

If you were to ever date one of them—

leo:

if you’re ever insecure about yourself, he immediately wants to know how he can fix it!

he’s very much a gentleman, almost annoying so lol

a family member made a sly comment? your mom is going to get a very stern talking-to 😡😡

a stranger made you feel bad about your body??

well……they’re probably in mortal danger 💀💀

he feels VERY protective over you......a surprise to no one

not that you need any special treatment or anything, but he’s at your every beck and call

leo’s not super comfortable with physical expressions of affection………

but you’re the one exception

lots of blink-and-you-miss-it smooches before running away!! 

if you’re both standing on a rooftop during patrol, he’ll work up the courage to plant a kiss on your cheek

[runs away giggling] that, he’s that meme

it’s a little weird, but incredibly sweet 💖💖

despite being a bit shy, leo’s a real goofball

only because he feels so comfortable around you

earning your trust is like..the most important thing he’s ever done

and he is going to take your relationship SERIOUSLY 😤😤

lots of space heroes marathons where he can have you all to himself (he’s kind of selfish about how much of your attention he gets lol)

donnie:

(for whatever reason) he’s the most chill about it than his brothers would be

donnie’s a smooth operator 😎😎

….at least he thinks he is

he’d try and be suave and give you a bunch of compliments and praise 😘😘✨

whatever you choose to wear, he’d be the first to mention how fetching you look in it 💖

if there’s a fictional character you somewhat resemble, he’d be lowkey really into them

changing his phone background, having many photos of them, making off-handed comments about how cute he thinks they look, etc.

he’s not nearly as smooth as he thinks he is tho

donnie’s experience in courting is…..let’s just say ‘sub-par’ 

you’ve seen how weird he can get when he’s head over heels (with his crush on april)

his crush on you is embarrassingly obvious to everyone, no matter how much he tries to play it cool

he certainly gets an A for effort tho 🥴👍👍

“Do you have…feelings for me, Don? Feelings that border on love?” 😏😏

…………😳😳💦

“Aw, sewer apples.” 

raph:

he’s a bit awkward around you at first…..

raph is used to roughhousing with the people he likes (mostly his family) so he’s nervous about accidentally hurting you or making you uncomfortable

for as callous and rude as he comes off, he’s a bit of a softie when it comes to you

NOT THAT HE GOIN’ SOFT 😤😤

and he doesn’t think you’re anymore soft or delicate…….nothing like that, you’re just too important to treat carelessly

he thinks about you constantly 😵‍💫😵‍💫

raph doesn’t realize it, but he kind of loves the way you look

not in a romantized, idealized way…but he thinks he’s being weird

the last thing he’d want to do is make you feel objectified

or that the only thing that matters about someone is their physical appearance

but….he can’t deny how flustered he gets around you!!

when he’s not a stuttering mess, he loves showing you off ✨✨

p shameless about throwing his arm on your shoulder or other affectionate gestures (hair tussles or noogies, all that good stuff)

will absolutely YELL at you if you ever said anything negative about your appearance

“Hey, if you ever insult my favorite person again, I’ll beat you up!”

“…..Wait, I’m your favorite person?” 😳😳

“WHATEVER.” 😤😤😡😡

mikey:

you sometimes feel a little conflicted about hanging with mikey

because he’s very prone to hugging

not that you like his hugs, they were just a little more enthusiastic than you’re used to getting!!

and they last for a while

you’ll get hugs for minutes, even hours if you’re not careful

it’s nice….if not a bit strange

with an amused smirk, you interrogate him while he’s somehow playing video games in front of the tv

while also hugging you??

“Am I just trapped here forever?”

without looking away from the tv, he nods

“Yup, trapped in my hug prison!” 😄😄

..he’s just secretly really into hugging you

mikey’s usually an open book about his emotions but he’s VERY shy about the subject

boy can’t handle his feelings!!

you’re just too nice to hold onto, hugging you is so much better than hugging anyone else

if you bring it up he just gets v flustered…

“IT’S NOT WEIRD TO WANT TO BE CLOSE TO SOMEONE 24/7!” 😖😖

giving him a big hug will shut him right up 💖

taglist: @saspas-corner

[wolfinshipclothing]

Anne about Sasha and Marcy: It's complicated. I've always been an ongoing person but my own experiences of alienation made me insecure and shy. It doesn't help that Marcy was my first friend to begin with and Sasha was always there to lead the way. In a way, they were safe for me, as I was for them. This made me let pass a lot of unhealthy behavior, like Sasha's need for control and Marcy's need for understanding but unwillingness to open up before her superficial interests. It took me made deep, two-sized connections to realize the way things were was not OK. And yet, after all these years apart, being with them makes me feel safe. Not in the way of: "I'm going to close myself to these two people" but in a... homely way. It feels like we're mean to be together because WE decide we want to be together, better this time.

Marcy about Sasha and Anne: I've never feel like I fit in except with them. Well... no. Even with them I feel like a stranger. Like there was this crystal wall between us and the more I tried to get over it, the taller it got. I needed them to be there for me because I thought if they weren't then I would be alone. Just weird Marcy who everyone thinks is a genius but nobody bothers to understand or befriend. Marcy who DOESN'T LET anyone get close to her because it's difficult and scary, but who couldn't let anyone know she was upset or has need of her own because then she'll be a weight, and who needs to do everything in her power to get people to like her, but without getting too close to see the ugly bits. And nobody wanted to be with that Marcy, not even me. But things are different know. I like myself. I have strengths and weaknesses, good and bad things. But I deserve to be loved and have my needs meet as much as I need to respect the others'. I think me and the girls can do that now. I want to. Not because I fear being alone, but because its them who I choose to be with!

Sasha about Anne and Marcy: 'They're mine'. That's the first thing i thought about them. Not in a possessive manipulative way, no. Not yet. In the way of 'they're my people, they get me, they NEED me'. It all goes back to that. I needed to be needed. To be wanted. To be cherished and to be looked in awe because if they weren't doing it no-one else would. My parents were too busy fighting each other, then ignoring each other, then moving on with their lives. I was something they tossed around. Unwanted. That's how it felt at least. I needed to have some control in my life, I needed something to be stable. At first it was just me doing the planning because I've leader potential, but then I began to shut them down because if I'm not the one keeping the group together, the one in control, the one they admire then... I'm nothing. 'They're mine', I still think to myself, in the same innocent way than the first time. They're my people. They get me. I would do anything for them, but I don't need to rule their lives. Just share mine with them.

[cowboywithacunt]

sorry that this isn't horny but i love the way you responded to that ask calling you "non skinny" or whatever like yeah exactly!! I'm a fat trans guy too and I'm so fucking tired of hearing "aw you're not fat don't say that. you're just fluffy/squishy/there's more of you to love/you just HAVE fat" like. can we stop acting like it's a bad thing and trying to use softer, cuter, fluffier words.

I'm not insulting myself by saying I'm fat. neither is anyone else. we're just mentioning something about how our bodies objectively look. and that is okay. people tiptoeing around the word fat is exactly what made me insecure about it in the first place and I'm so happy to see that you're so proud of it and say it so openly. thank you.

It's just always felt weird to me. Like, it's ok to be fat. It's ok that I'm fat. I don't care if people call me fat, because I am. It'd be like if someone insisted "you're not a brunette, you're just non-blonde! you just lack blonde hair!" lol.

I've been fat my whole life. I'm always gonna be fat. Even at the peak of my athleticism, I was still fat. My body is just built that way! I've got a broad, stout build. There's literally nothing short of plastic surgery that could change it, and even that wouldn't do much.

I was super self conscious about it for a long time, and you know what never, ever helped? That kind of language. Insisting that I'm not actually fat, because being fat is bad, and only other people are fat and gross; I'm fluffy, or heavy, or squishy. Not only did it just remind me that a lot of people see being fat as being a negative trait, but it's also super infantalizing and humiliating to be told that stuff. It's the same thing as when a person sees a fat person posting pics of themselves in revealing clothing, and goes "omg you're so brave and confident!!!" instead of saying they're pretty, cute, handsome, etc. It just shows that they view us as a type of person that needs to be tolerated instead of just treated like everyone else.

Being fat isn't bad. It's just a trait I have. And before anyone comes at me about health, I'm a very healthy man and do plenty of physical activity, but even if I wasn't, that shouldn't matter, because you ought to mind your business.

[fierrochase-falafel]

“...Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…”

“…”

Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “…But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.”

“…”

Xie Lian continued, “He might spit in the cup of someone he doesn’t like, but he would never poison the water to harm others.”

“…”

Hua Cheng commented flatly, “Really? That’s still gross though.”

Fu Yao was popping veins. “NO! He would never spit either!”

“Laxatives then,” Xie Lian said.

Post 7 here: I can't tell if Xie Lian pulled this off the top of his head or he's just got a long list of flaws to comment on for every heavenly official but I am LIVING for this energy. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Xie Lian is as much of a b*tch as Hua Cheng and we do not give him enough credit for it-

Just annihilating Mu Qing then and there, fully acknowledging what Xie Lian sees as his greatest flaws and insecurities and then going, "but he's not evil!" is just...I have no words.

~book 5 spoiler ahead if you want to avoid that~

What's even funnier is, in book 5, Mu Qing gives a similarly long and unasked for level of detail when describing how he feels about Xie Lian, something along the lines of, "I have opinions about you such as: you're not better than me at fighting and you relied on your crown prince status too much and also you did it all for the praise" and then going onto say he is in awe of Xie Lian and wanted to be his f-f-friend (as all book 5 readers probably remember lol).

In that scene, Mu Qing says, "We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too." And they really are alike! Their descriptions of each other almost follow the same format, of mild confusion and picking out flaws in each other before addressing their point, except that Xie Lian has developed much thicker skin than Mu Qing, essentially, and it makes all the difference in how we interpret it! Xie Lian doesn't hold a grudge and uses the format to tease Mu Qing lightly while also putting forth his opinion that Mu Qing is trustworthy despite what it may look like. To Mu QIng though, everything is a bigger deal than it is to everyone else, and the things he tells Xie Lian are things he's been pondering and overthinking and struggling with for over 800 years. Perhaps Xie Lian's light-hearted confirmation of Mu Qing being worth his and the heavens' trust was something Mu Qing was both angered by but more importantly, thoroughly gratified by as Xie Lian said it himself: he has no friends. No real allies, the closest being Feng Xin who makes it his business to have petty fights with him throughout their godhoods (gay, btw, but I'll save that for another post). Just, anyone really trusting him to not betray them and SAYING it? Must've implicitly meant a lot to him, enough so for him to put aside his grudges and overthinking when it became integral to the whole deal with Jun Wu.

So, I guess, to conclude: Power of friendship, people!

[ohchosen]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ... get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !

BASICS

NAME:        val AGE:         24 PRONOUNS:         she / they YEARS OF WRITING:          ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.

REFLECTION

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING?           i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES?          not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING?         stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.         oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.

i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.

i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.

three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON

HAVE  YOU  MADE  ANY  STRONG  CONNECTIONS  /  FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING?          i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.

vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.

plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......

lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.

i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.

NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?

tagged by @stagehunt my lover..... tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez

[katyspersonal]

Seluvis for character ask! >:D

(From this ( x ) ask meme)

First impression: Wow, this guy is a TOTAL creep! This specific snobby, arrogant aura also makes him even MORE British than his accent! xD Also his face data looks like that one guy who """accidentally""" touches women in weird places in the crowded bus :/ You know, THAT one guy. He has really good voice acting though, and his pretentious, arrogant manner of talking is cute.... oh no ��

Impression now: I still think he has the sexiest voice acting in the entire game, I am slightly less obsessed with him by now but if given the reason, I can write essays simply analyzing his character and making suggestions about his personality, backstory and what-if scenarios with other characters! He is just so goddamn fun to rotate in my mind. (And yeahhh well, I really really really love wizard aesthetic. Sorry guys, Willem will always be more thicc than Gehrman could EVER.)

Favorite moment: As great as his descent into mania was, I simply love the transition from being cold, condescending and mean with us to getting warmer with us because he "hadn't had an apprentice for a while"... It becomes painfully obvious that he admires himself so much because no one else ever would, and I am just such a sucker for mean character showing that secret gentle side. Like.. He needs approval and attention just like every other human being, this is a sweet moment x)

Idea for a story: I actually didn't think of scenarios all that much. However, I did have a guilty daydreaming period about an OC that was his apprentice, but she was showing a lot more creativity, intellect and talent than he'd teach her, and it started to seriously wound his ego. So he'd like, start to belittle her ideas and discoveries, try to gaslight her into thinking her inventions were dumb and he knew better, and in the end just... send her to get him some stuff that doesn't exist (as means to never see her again). I don't know enough about the lore to tell whether she is out there still or no, and yes, awful pettiness, I know. It is less a story and more deep dive into his insecurity and narcissism by using an abstract other person for a display.

Unpopular opinion: As much as I like to joke about him being sexist, in the end, I don't REALLY think that. He makes male puppets too, you know. xD Basically, he will be a creep to ANYONE, regardless of gender. Bi/Pan representation we deserve ;-; xDDDD :')

Favorite relationship: Him and Sellen really deserve each other tbh. I do not mean it like in a ship way; Seluvis is uhhh...... well, a simp in such a way that he doesn't deserve a chance, to say the least, and Sellen seems to be completely disinterested in relationship period because studying cosmos just takes her ENTIRE focus. But I mean like, a mix of rivalry (he is with the Carians and she is with the primevial current) and actually helping each other with crimes x) They share more in common than meets the eye! And both have foolish plans going against Ranni of all people, like the overly-confident idiots that they are ;-;

Favorite headcanon: He feels exact proximity with the puppets as what he says! Starlight Shards that "control fate of humans" are used to make his potion, so naturally, drinking his potion binds the person's fate with him (or with someone else, depends on what he's doing). It is, well... incredibly intimate experience on its own, but he perceives it much deeper than just creating servants. He is desperate for human bonds, but his snarky narcissistic personality makes him not be liked by anyone with their free will unaffected. :(

[taegularities]

Hi Rid. I hope you're having a great day. So umm I'm gonna be ranting about something or a certain someone so please bear with me.

There's this person and they're popular for doing this one thing. Everyone's like always hyping them up no matter what they do. They talk about this person as if they could do nothing wrong and they're all sunshine and sprinkles. And quite frankly I like their work as well and I acknowledge their efforts.

Now I am generally one of the observers and i recently started to uhh show my hidden talent as well lol and honestly, I was doing it gir myself, not for anyone else's validation or anything. I wanted to do it because I felt like it and some people ended up liking it which I'm very thankful for and i was getting compliments from a few people here and there so it was good and i decided to do it again and i already informed ONLY the person in charge of those activities. And that person mentioned that they liked it in front of everyone. And out of nowhere this person (the “OG” as they like to call them) suddenly wants to do it too when they're already in the middle of something else that requires a lot of attention? And everyone EVERYONE is going crazy over it. They all completely ignored that I am currently doing it already. I've also noticed that this person always responds/talks to almost everyone but me which is weird cause I never behave disrespectfully or rudely to that person.

See idk if I'm overreacting of anything but i feel dismissed, ignored and neglected. I know not everybody is going to like it but isn't it disrespectful to me? It gets too much sometimes I feel like disappearing from that place altogether without saying anything cause I know nobody cares but I also know that I'm doing this for myself not for validation but it still feels awful at times. Idk if I'm just being a bad person or insecure it's just that i really wanted to get this out and i apologize if I'm in the wrong. I'm really sorry if I'm acting childish but you can't always be mature right?

hey hey. you have no reason to apologise at all… we're allowed to indulge in something we enjoy for ourselves and still feel shitty when we feel like our efforts are being diminished just bc someone else with a larger group around them decided to do it, too. if you're feeling bleh about it, then that's your right, not overreacting (i hate that word, bc we're all literally just reacting, right? our feelings aren't nothing, no matter what).

if you'd like, you can talk to them. not in like, a confrontational way, but more like – ask them if they could at least 'credit' you and let people know that you did it first. even if you're only doing it for yourself, it's okay to want validation and praise somewhere inside, yk? so yeah, i'd tell them – on top of that, also let them know that you feel neglected and ignored. my biggest advice is always communication – maybe bc i hate being silent about what hurts me, so i just go and try to resolve it asap 😭 maybe it works for you, as well!! <3

[whoblewboobear]

Realizing that if I ask questions when I’m unsure or nervous about something, the world won’t end and no one is gonna yell at me for it and if they do, it���s probably a weird ass response to have.

I was getting nervous bc I havent seen one of my besties irl in about a year/longer. And I work during the day so it has to be after 5:30. So just asking, “hey, did you have something in mind for us to do/where are we meeting?” Is so much easier than stewing in nerves until the time comes just to scramble to think of something when we could’ve figured it out earlier.

I’m meeting her bf for the first time and I’m already nervous about that so taking one thing off the table to not be nervous about is good.

It just makes me realize how badly fucked up I am from my mom that I’m too scared to do or ask anything out of fear of being attacked for not speaking up or trying to make things easier. Like generally people are a lot kinder than she is.

Like sure if I’m at home it means staying to myself unless I wanna be talked over, yelled at, begged for money, etc. But then going to spend time with literally anyone else is okay. Having other people respect my boundaries when I set them is reassuring or having them hear me out. Like talking to my sister and her confirming that our mom is getting worse or talking to my therapist and her helping me with my fear of confrontation is good. Makes me feel a little more normal.. and being reassured that wanting to go no contacts doesn’t make me awful.

It’s so.. fucking weird. Bc my entire life I was told my mom that I walked funny, talked funny, was too loud, too quiet, mean, disrespectful, boring, awful, and then finally that I make her life miserable, then being reminded that every day that she wants me gone. Like- obviously now I’m an adult and I know that there’s not a single thing I could do to make my mom change or love me unconditionally. But it’s hard to see all that and realize how insecure and desperate I am for it in all other relationships.

I have very very good and loving relationships in my life, I do. And I appreciate that they get it, even the ones that don’t know the full extent of the abuse. But I hate that I need constant reassurance from them that I’m not annoying or too much. And I’m always apologizing for it which makes me feel :/ bc

Like deprogram my ass. I’m so tired of being hit full force with my mommy issues. Like this woman couldn’t be half assed to care about me I shouldn’t let her have power over me. And yet~ here I am. Spiraling and being shocked when people are genuinely kind to me or happy to see me bc it feels so forgein. Like my own mom doesn’t like me, why would anyone?

And then talking myself down like, she’s the asshole. She’s the problem. Not everyone is like that. And then I get stuck with people like my coworker who’s like a carbon fucking copy of my mom right down to the nastiness and it makes me wanna scream. But at least at work I can mind my business. At home it’s like my mom will yell until I bark back so she can call me awful OR ignore her she she plays the victim and tries to turn my sister and her side of the family against me. It’s- like ofc when I move out I never wanna see you again. You hate me.

[againtodreaming]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

@lyloneliness you send the first ask but also @mavr4xx @vinylbiohazard @ghostsinacoat @yumaisbored you also asked this too and omg i love u all but also, why do you do this to me 😭😭😭 i was already struggling a lot to think of 5 things with the first ask (and i still haven't even gotten to the tag game of this), and now I have to think of TWENTY-FIVE?!? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (plus 5 more if I end up finding the tag game again plus the ability to think of 5 more...)

Anyways, thank you so much for the asks (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊♡ (even if they are the hardest asks I have done in my life 💀) (it was interesting and fun tho 🌟) you are all awesome 💖🌟💞 now here we go:

(25 things here in the same post bc…not sure I just started doing it after @ all of u and I am doing this draft in my phone and separating this in the other asks i still have to look for is too much work) (apologies for the length, the further i got, the longer some of the answers became😅)

1 - My hair (used to be really thick and my mom used to make this amazing hairstyles almost every day when I was a kid—there was one that was a huge rose made of braids or smth, the hairpins were awful and it took so long but it was so pretty, I think my mom even made it for the wedding of one of her friends, anyways I lost maybe more than half of my hair when I was like 15, stress probably, and then I decided to cut it even below the shoulder—first time in my life it was so short—bc I was so mad with it but also bc I had zero energy to even try to take care of it by that point. Grown back until like my mid-back—used to have it like waist length before—by now and now I got maybe a little more than half of the hair that I used to have at 13 which is a lot better than it was at 15 and hopefully it gets back to what I used to have in a couple of years more, but for now it's enough to start playing with it and doing braids)

2 - Open-mindedness

3 - Creativity

4 - Patience

5 - That I'm an older sister

6 - Uf, how do I explain this one—like, empathy? kindness? feeling things deeply? putting yourself in the other person's shoes and being considerate of that? being too sentimental? which can be really annoying too but I wouldn't trade it so...

7 - That I can talk really fast

8 - Being expressive

9 - Always thinking things through

10 - Confident in my likes? (okay, so this one feels complicated, but for example, when I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old probably, I loved superheroes, but my classmates in my all-girls school were like, that's for boys 😒, and I felt horrible bc that was just another thing in that i didnt fit in with everyone else and i always wanted to fit in, but somehow—which looking back feels weird bc who even knew i could be surprisingly confident in some aspects—was that i never thought i was in the wrong for liking superheroes? Like, yeah, I always wanted to fit in and I felt bad that I didn't, but even with all the social insecurity I was constantly plagued with, I never felt like I was in the wrong for being myself or that I should change myself or pretend to like stuff I didn't just to fit in (that strategy didn't even cross my mind until I was…can't be sure, it was somewhere in the last few years in this country, it was either a documentary, fiction, or the group therapy, but the idea of actual people in real life doing smth they didn't agree and had no purpose except to fit in was like: 🤯!?!!?!?!) (I didn't handle it that well either to be fair, if I wasn't with my friends i just decide to hide during recess and/or to not speak at all with anyone, until I changed schools) (I liked the 2nd school better). I assume that in my head I was like: "shame that I'm not like all of you but what can you do, I'm me ╮(╥﹏╥)╭ "

11 - I'm usually also all or nothing with almost all things? Like, for example, math. I don't like math, it has always been the class I struggled with the most and all my math teachers in Peru were really strict and thank goodness that my dad loves math and really good at it or I would have been lost without someone to explain it to me. But last week, my parents got an email from my math teacher who was telling them how proud she was of me and how I always strove to understand everything and there was some implication that I did it bc I liked what I was learning, which like, I mean, I like geometry a lot more than algebra bc it's simpler, and I don't exactly hate it, but I certainly wouldn't do it for pleasure. At all. And yeah, I ask her about everything I don't understand (she insisted to the whole class to please ask her anything if we needed help, so i had permission; if she wasn't available tho, I just would have asked my dad or a friend who is good at math to explain it to me) and ask her to show me exactly what I did wrong and what would be the correct answer but all of that is bc well, if I'm going to do well in the class, I need to understand what I did wrong in order to fix it, and like, math classes always build on each other, so if I don't smth I will later have problems with it, and also like, I'm already stuck with the class whether I like it or not, if I'm going to do smth, I'm going to do it well. Which is smth my mom has complained a lot of times, especially during last school year when I had a lot of late assignments bc I was too anxious about doing any of them bc I was afraid of doing it wrong or bc I didn't have the energy to think clearly so I wouldn't be able to do my best so like yeah…I ended up not doing the assignments at all (this is the part that I hate about this all or nothing thing with me, but let's focus on the positive side right now). Or with projects, I once stayed awake until like 5 am like several nights straight to do a project for economics class which like…I decided to make my own illustrations for each slide of the ppt to illustrate the information on top of doing the reading and answering the questions stuff…and I was already in a hurry with it bc I didn't know the school put assigned summer readings in the school's website (it was my first year in this country and nobody had said anything about it the year prior, plus it was quarantine time) and the teacher gave me a few extra days bc I still needed to hurry up in reading the book so yeah, I should have done smth more simple and fast to just submit it and get a grade but it wouldn't have been doing my best, not even near my best and I was already compromising on some stuff to not take too long since there wasn't too much time for my initial ideas so…yep. The teacher loved my project tho (and gave me a 100 even tho it was one day late) and asked if she could use it for her class of next year soooo…totally worth it. But yeah, i was sort of confused that Geometry teacher thought to send an email like that when I have only been trying to understand the concepts I am assigned to learn?

Thinking, thinking, thinking….you know what, I want to put my height in here just annoy my sister (she would be all dramatic annoying fake pitying dramatic gasp about it and would drag the younger ones to her side of the argument) but she wouldn't even see it plus I don't actually care about heights (I just care that she's annoying about it almost daily) so that would also be a lie so another thing….you know what, i already got 11 in one morning, coming back to this later

12 - Okay, so I hate all my health problems, absolutely hate them, so annoying and expensive and restricting and confusing BUT—how do I word this…it has 2 parts…umm…okay, so I'm really familiar with the clinic in Peru I used to go all the time and, okay I hated having to go to the clinic so many times, especially towards the end, but I liked being familiar with it? Like, the people, the sense of a community, the building, the routine. It was probably more familiar than my schools since I changed schools a few times while the clinic was there ALWAYS (until we moved countries and I never expected to miss the fucking clinic but it happened which wtf but also makes sense which also omg mila (ノ◇≦。) but also, the medical system was definitely easier and less expensive than whatever the fuck they have going on here, plus not having all our usual doctors, so there is also a practical reason aside from me unreasonably missing everything that was familiar including things I didn't even like much). That's the first part. Second part is that it has brought…lessons ig. Like, idk, it's been a huge formative part of my life. About health and food and family stuff and experiences. Like, I hate having the health problems (they are A LOT better now than when I was younger as long I do some things to keep it that way, but yeah, really grateful for that) but also, I don't really know who I would be without those experiences? Changed the whole family too so like…idk, it's weird but felt worth mentioning.

13 - That I'm really curious and like learning.

14 - Sense of style

15 - Loyalty—to people (like, even swallowed down all my shyness and anxiety to try to reconnect with some childhood friends I hadn't talked in forever bc moving countries and depression thing) (going well, really happy that we are talking again) but also like to interests and values ig? Like, most of my likes (superheroes, anime, drawing, maybe writing but not sure about that one, all started before I even turned 8 y/o) and like, aside from maturing and a couple of things, I don't think I've changed much at all. I have never stopped liking smth I used to like anyways.

16 - Openness ig? Like, I never want to be a bother so it depends on the person and the history i have with them and sometimes on the occasion, but I never really had any problems asking for help or speaking about my problems or feelings

17 - My handwriting when it's not written in a hurry

18 - My attention to detail

19 - Not getting mad easily—which is you know good with being an older sister too bc like...my dad is really annoying (but like jokingly annoying) and a lot of times bc of it (or some other times other family members) my sister and my mom get mad about some small comment they take seriously and then they get angry and leave the table or living room or whatever and then it's like all awkward bc the mood got broken (which also, a little hypocritical especially bc the sister also loves to be annoying in purpose with everyone of us) but unlike them, the middle sister and me like...we don't really care much about it? We are usually the ones that get more teased by the others but it's like, smth one therapist didn't understand, which was so annoying wtf did setting boundaries had to do with my siblings being annoying, I don't care that they are annoying bc it's like, we usually get along well (presently; there used to be constant fighting between 2 of them we were little but they are better now) and they have always been annoying but it's like, a game, I know they are not serious about the matter. I can be annoying back if I feel like it and it's all in good fun. The only times I don't like it it's when it's actually serious, with you know, intention to hurt or being passively aggressive mad about smth, stuff like that. Point is that yeah, it's also good for sibling diplomacy bc I'm rarely the one getting mad with the other ones.

20 - That I like dogs

…I can't think of 5 more. Uf, let's see…okay, getting desperate here but—

21 - That I'm Peruvian

22 - Good at cooking

23 - Good at planning

24 - My self-awareness

25 - That I like to be more positive and hopeful about things in general I think? (myself is usually an exception) Constant argument with my sister bc she can be so pessimistic sometimes. Like, life is already hard enough as it is, having fun and connecting with people makes things more enjoyable, so why not try to focus on the bright side whenever possible and make things better. She thinks I'm naive, I know I can be naive, but also, if I have to live I'm going to enjoy it bc what's the point otherwise. Generalizing things doesn't help. I think.

OKAY!! DONE!! 25 THINGS!!! FINALLY 😭💖

Thank you again and I hope you are all doing well <33

[michaelsoft-binbows]

Lately I’ve been feeling better about myself when it comes to my identity as Avery, and my gender as a whole. My IRL friends have accepted me as have the people I know online with few exceptions. Coming out to my family will still be a tough time, but I can put it off indefinitely right now. This is obviously ground I’ve covered before, but where I was going with it was this… A few weeks ago I went to ozcomicon with a few friends and my partner, and while the convention was kind of underwhelming (as ozcomicon tends to be), I introduced myself as Avery for the first time ever in person. 

It was to people I’d never met and people I will more than likely never meet again, but that was huge for me. I actually built up the confidence to do it, and even though it felt so wrong and weird to say that, after the fact it made me so damn happy that I finally did it. 

My boyfriend was there as well and honestly, any time I see him in person, I just can’t help but love him even more, and I’m so glad I got to spend some more time with him :) On the way back, I was dropping off a friend and we were in the car for a good hour and a half almost, we talked a lot, about various things but one of the conversations was again about identity and how I had been struggling with it. My memory is pretty awful so I don’t remember anything specific about it, but it really helped with my insecurities and severe imposter syndrome. I’m not free of those things by any means but it really helps that, the few remaining friends I’ve had that have stuck by me for the better part of a decade, accept me as the person I want to be.

A few little side notes as idk when I’ll be posting again, I’m fairly inconsistent… John Barrowman was at ozcomicon this year and I was so excited to watch his Q&A, but the moment he came out on stage… he just kind of confused me. He came out very loud and swearing a good amount, and some of the stories he told were a bit too suggestive for the audience I think. More suited to a small club or comedy night. I like him as Jack Harkness but even me, a massive Doctor Who fanatic, ended up walking from just being uncomfortable.

I have been trying to go through some doctors and clinicians to get an Autism assessment, I’m finally starting to work on something that’s been bothering me for many years and I will hopefully have more to report in that regard soon, I just need to find the funds since it is certainly not cheap :/

I’ve been commissioning a lot of different artists lately! I actually need to take a break for a while but I’m happy to share a few highlights from recent ones!

though top tip, do not write long posts when you're falling asleep! sorry for the likely hard to follow post ^=^' I forgot what my usual signoff is, but to anyone who took the time to read, thanks, love ya, have a great day <3

[hellsvestibule]

Something particularly frustrating about someone approaching you for friendship or whatever kind of relationship, and you trying to put your best foot forward and trying not to seem too anxious and depressed only for them to slowly build up this awful resentment towards you and everyone else you involve them with bc they themselves have depression or social anxiety or social awkwardness from autism or trauma related mood disregulation or trust issues due to bad past relationships things like that. Which, don’t get me wrong, makes socializing genuinely hard, and you’re trying to accommodate that, like oh it’s no problem, same hat actually I’m just very good at masking and people pleasing so I seem a lot more grounded than most but yeah no my inner world is constant turnmoil and I have to fight tooth and nail to stay sane and positive. And you can tell they do not believe you bc you’re the “type of person” who isn’t supposed to have real problems, they were counting on you to cleanse them of their insecurities by having flawless communication which never upsets or invalidates them, but the kicker is they have no interest or ability to reciprocate. They bought the mask and refuse to listen to you that it’s a mask, the mere ability to mask is itself concept beyond reach or understanding so they increasingly just. look at you with utmost loathing. like “you could Never understand what I go through, I’m constantly socially rejected for being different from everyone.” And then you’ve finally got to break it to them that 1. You get socially rejected for that all the time too, believe it or not, you aren’t universally loved and a lot of people have in fact, been very cruel to you, and 2. you’re socially rejecting them too, not bc they’re weird but bc they’re kinda an asshole who offers little conversationally except self pity, and they don’t really seem to like you or anyone else, they just want a one-sided validation machine and might as well be talking to a fucking chat gbt therapist for how little care they show towards you as a person.

[weebsinstash]

Not really sure what genre music you like, but honestly Cannibal by Neathan Apollo makes for a good Val x defiantReader song, recommend it as a listen :>

I've always had a weird relationship with music because I kind of grew up online so a lot of music tastes have been stumbled onto. Like unironically I love the music meme megamixes that switch tracks every few seconds or kind of joke around with certain chord progressions, or they like, mash-up video game music with popular artists.

Before we move on to some of my ideas, this song, right! It can almost apply to either Reader OR Val if you think about it, because from a toxic narcissists perspective Valentino may also consider you to be a sort of little manipulator capable of pulling his strings, but the line that jumps out at me is

"Time for my confession

You're toxic but infectious

You feed off my attention

Well? Starve"

I constantly think about, like, if Reader is just, someone who at least tries to be a nice person if it isn't as natural. And maybe Val gets a little too cozy and comfortable with how polite and sweet you are, running little errands for him, bringing him food and drinks when he asks, seeming to listen closely with interest and dedication when he speaks, and one day he fucks up. Maybe he's been teasing you yet it's nothing too awful but one day he mocks you in front of others about something you're insecure about and he can just see the shift in your expression, and from then on you're like night and day. You quietly set his drinks down and walk away instead of making eye contact and smiling and asking if he wants anything else. He texts you to fetch him something, and someone else brings it in your stead (maybe you even outright paid them because you didn't want to see the Overlord THAT bad)

One of those real "didn't know what you had until it was gone" kind of scenarios where maybe he starts getting pissy because he tells himself you're just having an awful attitude or being an ungrateful brat for no reason and he has no idea "what he did". I imagine he wouldn't take it very well. I can see him trying to crack a joke or make a comment that normally would have at least made you fake laugh and you just glance at him, say nothing, and look back to your phone, gritting his teeth before asking you what your fucking problem is, making it confrontational, and any further sass you display counts against you. The real salt in his wounds is if he catches you being nice and doing things for someone else that you used to do for him, because then he's getting fucking jealous and possessive and god forbid if you're trying to date someone during this time period, they will go missing, Val doesn't really want you dating anyone period anyways. Even if he is so much as keeping you as a groupie or a servant, you're still "his" and he doesn't like to share without some incentive

((As a side note can I piss and moan that tumblr made some sort of adjustment again and now I can't put anything in italics or bold without it doing it to the entire paragraph because it is so fucking annoying, why is it doing this???? Is it this new phone? I use italics a lot in my writing and this is so fucking obnoxious 😩 i basically can't use italics or bold anymore AT ALL without redoing it over and over and over and at some point i just give up)

But moving on to my suggestions, as someone who likes to get stoned and listen to music while I do my not-actually-writing writing-adjacent daydreaming, I've kind of found few songs that I think of stories for? Actually I found a really good one literally within the last I think two days? I was listening to Just A Waste by PinkPantheress and realized it fits a lot of the concepts and ideas I've had for a hazbin based Reader, while also having a very funky synthy vibe like the time period Valentino is from

How'd it ever get so wrong? Crying on the floor of a washroom stall (working at the club as a waitress only being able to really cry in the bathroom)

You don't know where I'm from, Don't know how I got here but I'm all alone (self explanatory and also works for ideas for a Reader who doesn't know how they died)

I've been waking up as lonely as I did before (works for a Reader who was depressed n shit before death)

A line from the second verse hits harder with "I never asked to be driven away in a foreign car, 'cause the bus will take me just as long, and now I gotta sleep with the lights still on now" like, this is peak, it fits so well. You took his help because you were scared and vulnerable but you really didn't have a choice in context, being freshly dead and alone and confused and panicking, and he was just RIGHT THERE, but after you're in his clutches you realize how dangerous and foolish it was and how maybe risking it on your own would have been as equally unsafe

I also tend to have just. Plotless "Reader getting frustrated and singing" sort of ideas which fits into, the vibe of Hazbin, they do just kind of break out into song, it's a cartoon, but also who doesn't vibe out to music and think of someone belting out to it? So sometimes I also think of the ever so elusive Male Reader, maybe you're kinda on the downlow, making yourself kind of boring and uninteresting because why would you try to stand out when your boss is a horny pansexual sex trafficker, and eventually enough little jabs and comments get under your skin and it's like "oh what, you want me to bounce my ass and shake my hips, put on a little show for you? Bitch I was a musician, I did this shit professionally, i could do this shit in my sleep" and you drop a bop or two or three where you're sassy and snapping your body to the beat just because you're frustrated and tired of being mocked and its like "whoops you kind of just dropped a really high quality performance out of basically rage and outed yourself as a potential asset he can use", this of course being intensified if you were lucky enough to get those Alastor esque showman powers where you can essentially summon little shadow goonies who love doing what you say/etc

Angel and Reader getting into it and Reader all "oh what, you think pole dancing is hard? Maybe 50 years ago, now white women taking yoga classes in strip malls learn that shit to be trendy, you aren't special" and Reader was like some pole dancing instructor in like a very sanitized downtown LA kinda way kwim and just to prove a point busts out some of the things they know and, oh joy there's Big V himself watching his two favorites getting catty with each other and enjoying it

Idk I just think of a lot of ideas involving music and dancing and things like that lol. Shit I've even been getting more into like drift phonk and more aggressive synthetic kind of music and sometimes I think of "imagine if Reader was waiting tables for Val and eas just secretly building some sort of massive career or online fame and one day Val is hanging out with his boyfriend and Vox has something on his phone playing and you just point like, 'oh hey that's my song, what do you like about it? I wanna come out with a new album but I'm looking for inspiration"

I guess this is kind of ultra specific but I also like the idea of like, Val clearly has no problem publicly mocking Vox and humiliating him, so I can just see like, Valentino shitting on Vox's taste in music, all "what, did a robot make that? How are you even supposed to dance to that? Cringe" and Reader is just kind of tired and annoyed with Mr big dick over here always pretending he has one over on other people and everything he likes is cool and everyone else is a loser, and you just, pop out of your seat and start shuffling, and if you remember the concept with Reader who can make their hair and or eyes glow, I like to think of Reader sort of pulsing on the beat, with all kinds of songs really. Imagine you're just trying to vibe on the dance floor at a club and your hips are swaying and light pulsing on the beat and it's like honey, your boss is a MOTH

I bet with Valentino it's a constant struggle depending on who you are. Trying to stay under his radar and not stand out too much but maybe needing some of his favor and protection where you at least need to be somewhat close to him. Not wanting his lust and possessiveness but maybe you're lonely or need some sort of acknowledgement you aren't completely worthless. Not wanting him to know you've got a specific talent but it being something so crucial to who you are that he finds out eventually, whether it's writing music or performing or dancing or writing or art or even skills that may help him in his criminal businesses like having magical powers or even having knowledge in chemistry or cooking drugs/making synthetics. Shit, I've even thought about a Reader who is a massage therapist or a chiropractor and next thing you know he has you becoming his personal "doctor", happy endings included.

[unlikely-bloom]

you don’t have to post this bc tbh i feel its a #hot take lmao but style fans are so insecure regarding kyman its honestly funny. like you hate it so much but you talk about it an awful lot! and anytime anyone ever criticizes style, even if they’re not a kyman shipper, the styles always turn it into an anti kyman argument and talk about how terrrribbbllee kyman is as if that somehow excuses them for being weird af and treating kyle like absolute trash and fetishizing him as a uwu soft baby bottom all the time lol.

not that kyman is terrible! lol im a kyman shipper too so i don’t think that haha but man they love using kyman as a gotcha all in the name of excusing any bad behavior within their own ranks…. embarrassing

this whole thing is embarrassing, bruh.

we now have coined the term “mommy kyle haters” and for that i apologize. No one should have to read the words “mommy kyle hater” with their eyes.

[indigoipsum]

Any Alois headcanons?

Hehe yes 😼

TW: Light ED discussion

A lot of people have brought this up, but I really do think he’d have a very poor body image/issues with eating. It’s extra complicated because of how food insecure he was when he was younger, and while he wants to indulge in sweets and rich things, he still sees himself as something that exists solely for attractiveness and fears weight gain. I think he also has trouble accepting getting older, as he starts to get taller and broader, because men have consistently been the ones to hurt him and yet he has to accept that he’s becoming one. The whole ordeal is just weird for him.

I think Alois’ trauma complicates his relationship with sexuality and gender. He’s just a kid so like… I can’t say he’s 100% anything but it’s kinda widely accepted he’s mlm. In my modern AU rp I had eons ago I figured he’d probably use they/he pronouns and experiment with wearing dresses and skirts (which he should be able to regardless of gender! I just see him being able to embrace his femininity if he lived in a more accepting society)

He and Lizzie would 100% be friends. I think he’d flirt with her to annoy Ciel, but after a while the bit isn’t funny anymore and he just wants to spend time with her. She would help him mellow out a bit and he would encourage her to be more assertive. Lizzie would probably start swearing without realizing and Frances would be like ???!!! We know that he can wield a sword, so I think that he’d enjoy fencing with her (and she’d beat him every time).

He probably enjoys lovecore stuff, like pink and white teacups with delicate hearts around the rim and stationary with little Cupids decorating the margins.

His handwriting used to be very messy, partly because he learned to write later in life and partly because of his racing thoughts and short attention span. However, he got teased about it when he went to hand in letters and official documents so he works with Claude to perfect his penmanship.

He loves gothic horror stories, but also loves romance novels. He’s pretty unashamed of this, even when the covers are a little embarrassing.

He’s not really a cat or a dog person. He prefers birds and insects.

Though he doesn’t want to admit it, he cares about Hannah. He just knows that trying to lash out at Claude is more dangerous. Getting closer to Lizzie probably makes him reflect on his actions more, too.

He prefers strong black tea to other teas. He likes white wine and champagne, though.

He wishes he could have been an actor. Granted, he likes having wealth, but high society bores him and he’s seen time and time again that most nobles are awful people. He drags anyone in the house to go see operas and plays whenever he can. He brought the triplets to a play once and got mad that they kept whispering about it amongst themselves, when he’s the one who should be making comments!

He consistently damages former Earl Trancy’s headstone and waits to see how long the rest of his family takes to notice. Inevitably, his Uncle Arnold notices, calls him, tries to blame it on him, then Alois gives his whole crocodile tears routine and makes Arnold pay for a new one.

Alois doesn’t know his real birthday, but chose Guy Fawkes day as a double excuse to party and cause mischief.

The Trancy family has some German and French heritage, which everyone asks about given his very German sounding first name. He had no idea that it was a German name and just goes along with it. Sieglinde is teaching him German, but he really just wants to know all the curses and rude phrases.