#I have a very interesting relationship with the idea of mental illness to the point I can think of that and be like

[ochrearia]

YS. man. mr be gentle with my mental. would it kill you to have. 24 hours in a day that you don't want to die

[silveme]

I realized I forgot to post my sigma headcanon drawings on here! Anywho, enjoy these silly little ideas.

More hcs I didn’t feel like drawing under the cut:

HE HAS AUTISM. I think most people on here can agree with me on that point. It’s pretty obvious

Smells like hand sanitizer. Or like a doctors office

His hands are always super cold

He was extremely overconfident before the accident. A bit arrogant even (but in a funny way) then he got #humbled

This is probably me projecting but I don't really see him being interested in any sort of romantic relationships. To me he's married to science, and very loyal! I think his dedication to his experiments (and lack of social skills) would prevent him from holding a relationship for very long. Plus he's got other things to worry about lol

So we all know that he doesn’t have any actual mental illnesses and that everything going on with him is bc of the black hole right. BUT! I think if he actually did have any sort of real life mental illness it would most likely be PTSD from the accident. I'd imagine he's always thinking about what went wrong, seeing as he's the type to quadruple check all his math beforehand

[lakesbian]

i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

[bizarrelittlemew]

I have a burning curiosity that can only be relieved by an OFMD author. Why is there so much AU fanfiction in this fandom?? 😆 My AO3 search results with every alternate universe tag I can think of blocked are coming up with almost every result on the page filtered out! 🤣 I have nothing against them existing and I'm all for everyone writing what makes them happy, I just wonder how this fandom ended up being so full of them. I used to think SPN was oversaturated with AU's, but it can't hold a candle to OFMD! 😅

okay i wanted to give this a proper answer and also asked a few other authors, so here are some of the reasons we came up with - i think it's a combination of all of these:

while the show takes place in a historical setting, it's not historically accurate or even trying to be. it uses anachronistic dialogue and gives piracy a vibe more like a modern workplace. the characters become timeless in the sense that they are already "modern" characters put into a historical setting, and therefore fit just as well into any kind of AU setting. the characters are what make up the show more than the historical setting

the themes that the show deals with - relationships, sexuality, gender, trauma, family, self-image, mental illness - can be explored in so many different ways given different settings. it's very interesting to examine how the characters would deal with them when thrown into different circumstances and time periods

canon is really good, so while there are gaps in the narrative that can be explored, a lot of people are drawn to putting the characters in entirely different situations and/or feel like canon ground was covered pretty quickly

the story itself translates to other universes very easily. people want to enjoy that story and/or their favorite plot points again and again, but just writing down the plot of the show in the canon setting wouldn't make much sense. by throwing the characters into a different universe, you can pull scenes and plot from canon without just repeating it, putting a different spin on it

very few shows have (canonically) older queer people, and people like the idea of how that translates to other universes

we have (relatively) little canon and had a lot of time between seasons. considering the size of the fandom, amount of canon, and time since canon, the proportion of AUs is not surprising

if we assume proper tagging, AUs make up around 27% of all ofmd fanfics by number of works, but probably much more by word count, since a lot of canon fics tend to be shorter. in comparison, that number is around 20% for SPN and 34% for Merlin 🤷

also i've seen a lot of people starting out by only wanting to read canonverse fics until they gave an AU a try and BAM they were hooked 😌

and last but not least:

Ed and Stede fall in love in every universe 💗

[plusvanity]

Hii, a few posts back you said you have your opinions on Faust and Euronymous separately could you make a post on that?

Love your analysis :)

Øystein has an interesting personality. I talked a bit about him in comparison with Varg at some point because they do share a few characteristic features.

I would describe Øystein as ambitious, talented, creative, hard-working and a leader. I don't think he worked very hard (as Varg, for example) to gain admiration from the people around him, I think that his ingenious ideas and musical innovation attracted people naturally.

He knew how to make himself be respected by his peers because he was open-minded, understanding, and had an optimistic attitude (as many described him) towards life.

It's pretty clear that he wasn't as mentally unstable as others in the scene, but it doesn't mean that he had no issues. I believe he had a bit of an inclination to be people-pleasing while also trying to remain firm on his views and beliefs.

He was prideful, confident (especially about his music), enjoyed the position of power and influence in which he was but didn't abuse that at all. He was arrogant at times and full of himself, but there is a fine line between the character that he was playing (Euronymous) and the real person he was inside.

I see him as having a few narcissistic features but not enough to consider him in the NPD spectrum. He was also quite understanding (especially when Emperor got signed by Candlelight Records) and you don't really see full-blown narcissists being reasonable and understanding.

Unfortunately, because of his strong personality and leadership attributes (dominant, assertive), he managed to attract a very toxic person in his life that lately became his murderer.

The fact that he had a healthy relationship with his parents tells a lot about him. He seemed to have much more authentic confidence than Varg ever had as well as discipline. He seemed much more thoughtful about consequences than Varg, and this became apparent when he took a step back from a situation that would have brought him extra fame, but also MASSIVE implications (negative attention). He also closed his shop at the suggestion of his parents.

These attributes generally come from a 'good enough' household.

Later on, it's quite evident that he struggled with depression because of Pelle's death. There are some indications of 'self harm' and excessive drinking behaviour. But it is also possible that he had episodic depression in the time that Pelle was alive because we all know that depression and anxiety are socially transmitted mental illnesses (or at least we should know).

I personally find his implication in church-burnings a theatrical movement rather than a truly antisocial behaviour. So this makes me think that naturally, he had fewer violent impulses than he wanted to display to the public. In addition to this, he even tried to dissociate himself from the image that Varg's juvenile criminality was put on him.

He had an inflated sense of ego that I tent to see it as theatrical rather than real, but this is how they were 'playing the game' back then.

His coping mechanisms after Pelle's death were dubious, but it is what it is. There is no point in getting into details. People cope differently with trauma. Øystein tried to cope as best as he could.

This is a very rough summary of how I see him.

Now, when it comes to Faust, I know he was seeing Øystein as a mentor. He had a lot of respect for him, this is undeniable.

Now, not all people are able to commit murder, even if in self-defense. What Faust did was reacting on impulse. I don't know what was in his head when he did it, but he described in an interview as 'seeing himself out of his body as he was doing it' and this is due to adrenaline rush combined with the brain's inability to cope with what is happening on the spot. He dissociated at the scene and probably had a hard time believing what he did after that.

In the context in which Faust committed his crime, this is antisocial behaviour. Another detail that stuck out was how he described the incident. 'Stomping on his head' is nothing but cruelty and sadism, in my opinion.

I am not saying that he is in a 'certain way', but these are my thoughts on him for what he's done.

Remember that anyone who killed a person or an animal can do it again. This is a psychological fact. Maybe they will never repeat their mistake, maybe they will seek redemption, but once you've done something like this, you are very, very likely to repeat the behaviour.

I hope you find this useful, anon

[abyssalzones]

C-PTSD as a diagnosis makes so much sense for Ford because he really does fit almost all of the criteria, ESPECIALLY if you take the stuff in J3 into account in conjunction with his traumatic childhood (bullying, bad dad, etc.). It just makes sense in regards to his motivations and his issues with interpersonal relationships (like with Stan). Also buring yourself in your work (like he does) is a very common 'flight' coping mechanism to trauma in adults

I'm smiling like this right now

ford's whole.... mental health deal is extremely interesting to examine because Oh my god this man is the textbook image for "reacting to ongoing, continuous trauma". intentional or otherwise (I'm inclined to believe it's both).

like. okay hang on I'm about to get very in depth with it

I feel like there's no way this entire guy's life and in some ways his lasting identity haven't been defined by and constructed around various forms of trauma, maybe the most obvious and true-to-canon-intent being peer abuse/bullying from childhood. a lot of people downplay the impact of this type of abuse but it's... responsible for a lot of social ills in shocking ways. (if you're more interested in this topic here is an article my friend mer linked me a while back, it gets into it very deeply)

(a lot of this is going to be sourced from the wikipedia page for CPTSD [and my own experience Living with it] which I realize isn't very professional of me but Whatever this is tumblr)

one of the core tenets of ford's personality is that he's Different. he owns it, sure- his six fingers become a point of pride rather than something to be ashamed of- but they make it extremely clear that from a young age he associated being different with being a social pariah. ford's generation was characterized by notoriously cruel bullying, and anything that remotely made you stand out rendered you a target. ford could've been bullied for being nerdy and jewish (and failing to perform socially, ie dating) alone, having such an obvious mutation definitely was not winning him any points.

so it's honestly no surprise, when from childhood ford feels like he has One person in the world to trust and confide in, that he would go on to form very unhealthy attachment patterns typical of CPTSD. as you elaborated on regarding AvPD (which I know far less about but seems to have comorbidity with CPTSD): if you're hard-wired to believe socializing with others results in failure or betrayal, then you're not going to make an effort. but what does end up happening is that you're going to pour all of your trust and dependency into one person at a time, one person who is "safe".

previously, that was his brother. and it's not really hard to draw the conclusion from there that fiddleford was a subject of ford's attachment style, considering he was his One friend from college, and... one of Maybe two people ford is friends with at all who he isn't related to. he cites him as the only person he can possibly trust to work on the portal project alongside him, and he still can't bring himself to tell him the full truth, because he's terrified of losing him. I love their dynamic (I do think they were mutual best friends, and there was no small amount of trust reciprocated between them. "fiddleford was weird as hell too" is something I keep coming back to) and I don't think it's built on entirely unhealthy terms, but that kind of pressure is... setting things up to crash and burn.

enter bill stage left. back to "continuous yearning to be liked and accepted"- this guy knew that and made every effort to prey on ford's insecurities to reel him in as close as possible. this is what really pisses me off about the idea that bill was just "inflating ford's ego", because it's way, way more insidious than that. throughout the entirety of journal 3 we see ford reintroduce someone to his life he has a very positive relationship with (fiddleford) and how that trust gets gradually broken down by bill's influence "winning out" over their friendship. I think it's safe to say ford was already vulnerable: from the start, he'd been isolated in his research for six years (and it's unclear for how long he'd known bill by 1982), and bill proved time and time again to be someone who wouldn't judge him, someone who would praise him for his hard work, and perhaps most critically, make him feel like being different was something special.

like that's... that's really not good!!!! and that kind of thing works wonders on someone who has already settled with the idea that they're inclined to be alone just by design.

trying to put a cap on this. in relationships like the one he's had with his brother or fiddleford it doesn't even necessarily have to be ""toxic"" (vague term anyway) or outwardly bad to be built on unhealthy attachment patterns, and considering for a good chunk of ford's life his attachment to others can be characterized as "I can only trust ONE person at a time" it feels essential to any discussion of his CPTSD or canon trust issues. That is something that happens a lot in Real cases of CPTSD (hi) and only further snowballs into More trauma by leaving you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse (see: bill.)

I've been going on for way too long now and I feel like I've only scratched the surface of the thing I wanted to elaborate on sorry. that post traumatic stress disorder can complex

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: The Heretical Liberal

Published: Jun 18, 2024

Lots of responses to this post I made the other day laying out the case for why trans activism is homophobic, most of them supportive. For the few that weren't, here's a thread where I brought the receipts. If my earlier post was opening arguments, consider this the full case: 🧵

First up, the charities, such as Stonewall and GLAAD. These are the groups that were originally set up as gay rights advocates, but were retooled around 2015 into trans rights advocates, and - since trans activism seeks to erase homosexuality - promptly began to do exactly that

With the anti-gay activists now in charge and setting the tone, media now takes the reins and begins subtly erasing the very notion of same-sex attraction, suggesting that lesbians who don't want to date ppl with penises, and gay men not interested in vaginas are hateful bigots

And more of the same nonsense:

With the activists dictating, and the media following their lead, the homophobia inevitably trickles down. This manifests in different forms, but one of them is the psychological torture of homosexuals, some of whom have come to believe their innate orientation means they're bigots

But mostly the biggest effect is in the trans community itself, who have increasingly internalized the idea that same-sex attraction doesn't exist, and thus, any ppl who claim to be exclusively same-sex attracted are actually just transphobic bigots who can be abused at will

The rest is just gonna be a firehose of hate, as I try to dispel the idea that this homophobia is "just a few bad apples" instead of the truth: it's a core component underpinning the entire ideology transgenderism, as are the violent threats that often accompany it:

I could go on and on, but I think the point here is made. Homophobia doesn't just exist in the trans community, it's RIFE in it. It's a feature, not a bug, the erasure of sex (and by extension, homosexuals) is a core goal of trans activism. Hopefully this has opened some eyes /end

--

Threadreader:

==

Firstly, if you're shocked by this, then you haven't been paying attention.

This is what it looks like when the mentally ill use academic gobbledygook to pathologize the normal and normalize the pathological.

You're not crazy: same sex attraction and opposite sex attraction are real things and completely normal. You may have either or both (bisexual). Their stupid buzzwords don't - and can't - change that. Nor turn it into a "genital preference."

If you take away nothing else, know that an accusation of being "transphobic" is a predator trying to emotionally manipulate and blackmail you into allowing access by the predator beyond your boundaries. Whether that be sexual boundaries, to simply how you address others, and anything and everything in between.

You never have to justify your boundaries. Someone who tries to make you, or who tells you that you need to "rethink" your boundaries, or particularly who acts morally superior about their purported higher evolved absence of boundaries is a full-blown predator. No, I'm not being hyperbolic. When I say "predator," I mean they're a predator. You're talking to someone who is dangerous and not to be trusted, because they see your boundaries as something to be overcome, circumvented or "fixed." They do not respect you and they feel entitled to what they want from you. They are dangerous. They are a predator. By definition.

In the very definition of an abusive relationship, these virulently anti-gay fanatics also won't let LGB operate without them. Because they'll lose their human shields and their stolen valor they've misappropriated from the gay rights movements. Which is the point in the movie where the abuser shouts, "without me, you're nothing! I won't let you leave! If I can't have you, no one will!" And then something horrible happens.

[gayhenrycreel]

what the fuck is wrong with this community?

why is there a requirement of trans men being subs? combined with the demonization of surgery, this cuntboy fetish thing kinda hurts. i never see any appreciation for, like... any dicks on men. unless said man is skinny, but also muscular to the point that im concerned for his mental health.

there are two (2) types of gay men allowed in the queer community: hairy muscular masculine cis man, and objectified "trans man" who is always white, fem, has no body hair at all, and is treated as a woman in every way. also he has to have a misgendering kink. its a requirement.

this would be fine if there was ANYTHING ELSE ALLOWED.

even irl i don't know any masc queer people at all. i feel very alone. does the queer community hate masculinity? i dont want to go into a relationship if its expected that im fine with being a submissive woman. i dont want to have sex before phalloplasty.

i go into a queer space (any space, irl or online) and everyone is talking about makeup and offering me some and calling me "girl" and theres this idea that men are evil. theres nothing wrong with femininity but radical feminism is never okay. the last queer space i was in irl had this one person who made jokes about how men suck and EVERYONE AGREED WITH HER.

everytime they have an event people offer me makeup and I GET CALLED A GIRL AGAIN.

even worse, the fucking coordinator tried to convince me to preserve my fucking egg cells after i said i want my entire reproductive system removed and stomped on. then she called me "girl".

and i said i didnt like makeup but people just said "are you sure?" like i dont know what makes me suicidally dysphoric.

i cant go into a space for people like me without my gender expression being questioned.

its bizarre that a cishet doctor would listen to me more about my sexual autonomy than a fellow trans person who says i might change my mind about HAVING A WHOLE FUCKING PERSON GROWING INSIDE ME. i have panic attacks about that. i have nightmares. and then she said i should still consider having sex, and when i said i don't want to she told me ill "meet the right person one day". i have a medical condition that makes penetration EXTREMELY painful, and when i try other holes i cant fucking feel anything, and no i dont like being pressured into sex because, shockingly, im not interested in getting raped.

i wont even consider sex until i get every surgery i can get. i just want a relationship that never goes past cuddles. i wish people would consider that i want to be a cis man, especially after ive already said thats what i want.

the cis people in my life always respect my gender. a lot of trans people in my life call me "girl" and tell me shit like "youll get to a point mentally where you dont need surgery to be happy".

i actually had someone say that to me. i said that not having t and surgery makes me suicidal, and they just told me i dont need it. then they said surgery is not necessary, even though ive wanted it for longer than i knew it was an option.

(dont worry gaylord and twobruhsinahottub im not talking about you)

[tomyo]

Dungeon Meshi perfectly captures love and bonds developed between found families. At the start you expect a bunch of people who mostly reluctantly deal with each other, especially with how much things were falling apart only for the story to slowly tell you these people were once a hugely solid venturing group.

There really is a gentle beauty to the way the story slowly unveils the love they share for each other, Laois often going out of his way to protect Marcille who is one of the most integral people in the party. In another series they’d probably be the ones shipped if it weren’t for the obvious lesbianism. While she’s initially portrayed as whining and high maintenance, as the story goes on she’s very practical and determined to help their chances by teaching Laios magic. There’s also small details at the start like comforting back pats when Laois makes himself ill on bad cooking. A later episode I love is when he willingly ventures into her nightmare to help her from bad nightmares. The show makes a point that being in good condition is tantamount to surviving the dungeon but the motivation obviously lies more around her mental suffering. To me Laios and Marcille are also the standout relationship in the red dragon fight, they act like they have the most tightest bond of the current members. I want to liken them to a lady and her knight but also in how again, the series subverts the obvious dynamic of partners with romantic undertones that usually would get put onto them. Laios deeply cherishes Marcille but in the way one would cherish their sister (fitting since he is an older brother).

Chilchuck stands out as being especially distant and anti social with the others, the most likely to criticize the others. Albeit even before he is clocked as loving his teammates you can see the dad in him pop out at many points, more specifically his girl dad ness rubbing off on his relationship with Marcille. A cute early moment where she tiredly insists to got with him for the water refill but he refuses only then to get in trouble and believe she’ll be no use when in reality she was already waking up the others to find him. The irony is her thinking of him as younger when she really hovers around him like a daughter would around their father. He protects her innocence over the mermaid eggs for instance. A commonly seen spoiler is he is the one to braid her hair when she looses the ability to desire that. You regularly see him being the one to patch gear as well. His moodiness if often attributed to his age but it was mentioned somewhere he intentionally calorie restricts so he doesn’t set off traps and it wouldn’t surprise me if he experiences regular hunger.

Finally when it comes to Laios, I find him surprisingly profoundly sad. Despite being the biggest source of comedic relief, his oddities come with a sense of profound loneliness. It’s natural for a big brother to be determined to save his younger sister but flashbacks often sell me the idea that Falin is the one who truly gets him the most. There’s a higher range of emotions flash back Laois shows, sometimes feeling like a completely different person. A goofy child, a broodish teen, and a cautious young adult, always with Falin alongside him in his memories. But as a full adult he expresses happiness and light levels of sadness but often a lot more subdued contemplation is involved, likely why he is also the presumed party leader. In some ways it can feel like that lack of expression was in part the sense of a neurodivergent beat down into normalcy. Despite his comfort around his party, he never tells them of Kensuke’s nature. But Falin was shown to adore her brother deeply and share interests in dungeon culture with him. They never seemed to fully develop a “I ‘hate’ you” sibling phase. While mostly keeping calm about rescuing her, you can see a desperation suddenly appear when he finally takes on the red dragon.

The loss of Falin clearly has a big effect on all of them as possibly the heart of the group. You first feel it around the ghosts appearing when Chilchuck realizes she isn’t there to protect them. Someone who warded off the mental hardships for her comrades, such as the one to teach Laois about nightmares. Loved by Shuro and considered accepting his proposal despite not sharing his feelings. Loved by Marcille so much that she committed a crime to bring her back even though it lead to them never being able to leave the dungeon. Her return completely takes the edge off the group. It’s the defining jump from silly antics to more tender family moments. The group more or less surrenders their lives above for her sake. There’s something beautiful about that when we see from Marcille’s memories, she was also seen as a bit of a freak by her peers.

On the opposite side, there is Senshi who often exemplifies a lack of familiarity with the group. His relationships are defined as a common interest with Laois, an ignorance for chilchuck’s maturation, and often at odds with Marcille. In a lot of ways he stays an outsider for a long part of the first half of the anime, rarely presenting a character growth moment until the kelpie instance. Despite overall being agreeable, he acted somewhat arrogant over his understanding of the dungeon and his beliefs. One of the few ways he had to grow thus far is accepting his views weren’t always the truth.

The newest member Izutsumi was a great means to display the bond developed thus far, basically creating an outsider view of a family they have yet to belong to. Her story questions the norm we accepted of people who eat together from the vantage of someone who never was in a familial situation but rather a living piece of property. This time Senshi is playing the role of the father, teaching her manners for her food while Chilchuck is a bit of a pissy uncle until they manage to bond over a fight leading to him making her her own bag, and finally Marcille trying to be caring to her needs. What got me the most is what can be said from how in tune they were together with creating a sauna and how comfortable they were being semi nude with each other in a tight space. A different series would have taken the opportunity to exploit Marcille and Izutsumi for a moment of cheesecake. However we never really end up with a lingering shot or a comment on the situation because no one there is sexually interested in each other that way; they are a family after all. Great place to point out the difference in tone compared to Falin and Marcille’s bath scene, two characters considered to be the rare non platonic instance. Beyond that, there is some warmth to the way the all join in with each other for a meal as Izu watches on; Senshi feeding the blind Laois his food while Chilchuck joins his surrogate daughter (Marcille) who smiles at his presence.

I feel like I could go more at some point into ep 20, the overall dynamic, and the sadness of Laois but I’ll falling short rn.

[ask-codeearasure]

Ink, Sketch, and the curse of lack of emotions. (Alternate Title: Ouija geeks out and fangirls about seeing something she has been wanting to be explored for AGES)

So during the writing of The Outer Realms, I have been watching Underverse with Sarco (who had insisted I watch it, thankfully) -- it is a really good series by the way -- because I had no idea who the fuck Cross is and how actually extremely complicated Ink is as a character.

One of my biggest complaints about the fandom was their lack of creativity over someone having a lack of emotions and empathy and how that could affect his interactions with those around him and his interpersonal relationships. I had ranted to Sarco about this, and went as far as comparing Ink to two different characters:

Kyubey from Madoka Magica and Nilah from League of Legends.

I made this comparison because of how Nilah could only feel joy and nothing else and she knew this and constantly had an internal struggle with herself because she knew this was a bad thing.

With Kyubey, I made that comparison because it actively promoted miscommunication with the other characters and never once did he consider what he was doing was immoral nor did he even bother to try to understand everyone. His species actually view emotions as a mental illness. A fucking defect.

I am currently at Season 2 (watched 0.5 just last night) of Underverse and I saw that Ink is very much like Kyubey. He is unable to even consider let alone he doesn't even want to try and consider or even empathize with the emotions of those around him or how he is actively hurting them. Ink doesn't view his actions as immoral and is even excited to see the X-Event continue and go further.

Now this isn't to say that I don't like Ink -- no, this is the exact opposite.

I FUCKING LOVE IT. I LOVE SEEING HIS BIASES GETTING EXPLORED FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF WRITTEN OFF AS INHERENTLY VILLAINOUS.

I understand that canonically speaking Ink can never ever go without his paints because they are the one thing that is keeping him alive and functional (speaking of which if you are reading The Outer Realms -- feel free to go to our Ask Box, doing so and saying anything actively influences the story because it will be treated as you donating paint to Ink.) and thus he does have emotions in that sense. But also canonically, Ink views other people, with the exception of Creators, as "characters" which is literally everyone else, and Dream breaks their friendship over that because that's an actually understandable reason to do so. Not saying either of them are inherently bad people either, it's just Ink's got issues. Very. Interesting. Issues.

When I was first creating Sketch and telling Sarco about him and how the fandom is not pushing Ink as a character and his concept far enough hence why I made Sketch, Sarco kept telling me that Sketch is literally Ink's worst nightmare coming to life in a sense. In fact, I didn't know about Pale!Ink either until currently and he and Sketch have their emptiness in common. This is something that scares the shit out of Ink to see, because that could have been them.

Upon further discussion, I learned a lot about Ink and he is now one of my favorite characters -- however, I have a bias towards Sketch because I'm an edgy goth bitch fuck you.

I literally think that I am not pushing this fear far enough.

What if Ink gets stuck with only one vial and has only that one emotion for an extended point of time. How off-putting would it be for him to be in that position?

Okay. I am gonna go back to drawing my emotionless nightmare-fueled son. Have fun with this explosion of fangirling.

-- Ouija

[kandyzee]

HEY GUYS, THIS IS A MASSIVE RANT. I SENT MY FRIEND, thought u guys might wanna see it too 😜 cause it's about the Gallagher sisters, mainly 😘😘 IT PROBS DONR ALL MAKE SENSE anywayyy

Something I really like in shameless is how well the woman characters are written. The ones that we are meant to hate (Karen and sammi) are very good at making us hate them without their actions making no sense yk. They ain't just doing crazy shit so that u hate them they are just deeply flawed people. When Karen has her whole emo phase that makes sense to me. She's a clearly mental ill girl who has suffered alot. Yeah she cuts her hair and dyes it she makes bad choices but in a way that makes sense for her. I hate sammi for what she did to Ian and mickey but she had a reason. Sammi had her child taken away from her ofc she's gonna act a irrationally.

I reallyyy like Debbie and Fiona. They get alot of hate but I really think that'd because they don't take time to understand the characters. They aren't made to be hated but they are strong minded woman so ofc they get hate. One of the main cristisms of Debbie's character is that she is unappreciative, selfie and a bad mother . Debbie is a little rude, but the other stuff just makes no sense. Fiona gives alot of raise her siblings and Debbie shows she values that from the start of the show. She is constantly trying to look out for fiona because even at a young age she understood that fiona didn't have anyone to help her. Debbie (same as fiona) takes on alot of responsibility from a young age. You would think that the person who went through something that fiona can very much relate to would understand her right? It's crazy to me that so many people don't think that. The fact that Debbie takes on so much responsibility shows she isn't selfie and it shows she values fiona because she has always be willing to help. Debbie does do bad things ofc that's the point of the show but if u compare it to some of the male characters (like Frank who has done terrible things) the hate she gets is extremely disproportionate.

Fiona gets alot of hate for her relationships and that she is always "demanding praise". There is alot of valid criticism of fionas parenting that can be made such as her reactions to Ian being in a relationship with Jimmy Steve's dad or the fact she left Liam when she leaves the show. First I wanna talk about how she is "always demanding praise". I think that is very easily explained as that she didn't get any her whole childhood. Fiona had to start looking after her siblings as younge as 5 and even then she had to hear Frank dismiss her work for years. We know fiona was good at track and was in team at school but she had to drop out of school so she no longer had academic validation either. To her she had to give up everything to raise her siblings her childhood was taken from her it makes sense she wants to feel appropriated. Now the more interesting one to me. How fiona handles relationships, this will be alot of me guessing what her childhood was like cause we get hardly enough information

Fiona from the first season is presented as a 'slut' (I HATE THAT WORD) and given that she did have so much adult responsibility as a little girl I don't think it's far off to think that she falls into the "girl who thinks she's mature for her age and dated older men" pit. The fact that she so thinks Ian and ned is "just sex" enough tho ned is fucking dinosaur kinda strengthens that idea for me. She thinks it's normal for Ian because it was normal for her. Given that fiona wasn't getting parental or academic validation I can see her finding it through sex and less than healthy relationships. That why i think she goes back to Jimmy Steve when she knows he's not good for her, thats why she sleeps with her boss and his brother. Unhealthy and bad relationships are what she grew up with.

This kinda makes me wanna talk about how Debbie and fiona are just so similar. They have lots of shared experiences and often make the same mistakes/ choices. Debbie also finds herself in unhealthy relationships. Plus, they are both queer (ik fiona isn't canon, but we all remember Jasmine fiona is defo bi ). Fiona sadly is unable to keep her little sister from becomes in some ways like her. I think Debbie sees that. she has always understood fiona, so when she's starting to take a more "motherly " roll for the Gallaghers, she probably sees that she's the "new fiona". Unlike fiona tho Debbie has a real chance of giving franny a better life than her, franny doesn't have to grow up in a home where every one is fighting for themselves as much as they fight for each other. Franny won't take up so much responsibility like fiona and Debbie. THIS IS WHY SAYING DEBBIE IS A BAD MOTHER IS FUCKING STUPID.

ANYWAY, fiona isn't a perfect parent because she's not a parent. She's an older sister. She can't fill that role even if she did do everything right. Debbie isnt selfie, she grew up too fast and understands fiona to a level where that's enough, she doesn't always need to outwardly tell fiona "she's so thankful" "she's so proud" because she just gets it. Karen and sammi are well written characters.

Ofc I like Karen a whole lot more than I sammi. Karen actually means so much to me. She's gets even more hate then Debbie like ik that's the purpose of her character but I feel like they hating her for the wrong reasons. AND THUS IS ME ONLY TALKING ABOUT FI AND DEBBIE SO TELL ME IF U WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MANDY AND SVET OR LIKE KAREN MORE

[kawaiibarty]

the phantom's game

wow okay, this fic has A LOT of lore. if you don't want to read a fic with a plot full of Plot and Slow Burn then this isn't the fic for you. alternatively, if you're looking for a fic that reads like it should be shoved in the recesses of a dingy library then this might be the fic for you?

masterlist

the fic:

the phantom's game will be incredibly slow in the beginning because it's basically remus just getting his footing in the world of literature and it's building up to the main plot.

this fic will also be written in three parts (but it will be put all together as one fic in case you want to download it or whatever, it also makes reading easier i think) or at least that's the aim. it may end up being more than three (maybe four MAYBE) and the word count aim is around 100k to 120k words. ideally the fic was to have around 40/50 chapters but as of now im really uncertain about the length (even though i know how it ends lol) because, and im such a nerd for this, but i ended up doing some math about fic chapter length compared to the original work and so far ive gathered that for every 1 chapter in the original work i have 2 chapters for my fic and an additional 1.5k words. it took me forever to work that out please clap. counting words in a book is hard.

and also

i feel like it's a testament to the dedication im putting into this fic 😔

the point of view might change from third to first person after part one, which may be a bit confusing so im putting a pin in this idea for now as im not even close to part two (let me know what you think about this!)

characters/relationships

this fic is written from the perspective of remus lupin and the main pairing is wolfstar (remus/sirius). main characters are remus, leo ferox (from the fanfiction all the young dudes), and sirius black. other characters are barty crouch jr, lily evans and her father who is an oc; maurice evans and other characters will be added as i write because i cba to actually flesh it out rn (and also i dont want to spoil). there are also minor relationships that are discussed.

trigger warnings/content warnings:

there are quite a few things that happen in this fic that id like to forewarn you of should you decide to read it. there are discussions of abusive parents, substance abuse and violence. in one of the chapters there will be some dubious consent, drugging, there will be descriptions of murder and violence as well as discussions around mental illness and homophobia. discussions/mentions of suicide!!!!

i will be adding on as the fic goes because i know there is stuff that ive missed.

why am i doing this???

i largely wrote this fic because i got high on meds and some other stuff it was wacko and i had absolutely nothing to do. id completely given up in trying to recover my old zombie apocalypse fic (it's a long story) and i really wanted something that i was familiar with not just because i liked the complex and the idea but because i knew it. iykwim?

it's based on a book i read when i was fifteen that got me out of the second largest reading slump in my life and basically catapulted me into the genre of fantasy realism and the whole dark/chaotic academia scene. i also decided that i would continue writing it after my beta @thestrawberryapologist showed interest in it.

another reason why i continued it rather than trying to piece together a nonexistent zombie apocalypse fic was because i have recommended this book COUNTLESS times but it seems no one i recommended it to seemed to like it.

so this is me saying, very passive aggressively, that the plot IS GOOD :(

i smashed the original book in like 2 days and ive been thinking about it for four years straight. i haven't even gotten to reading the other parts of the series because im still hooked on how THIS specific one was written.

its also a really fun (and for me) a new look into the characters because ive really never written anything this detailed before. the plot is a rollercoaster and you HAVE to stay on your toes with the the original work and i would really really like to reflect that onto my writing.

this is also the first time since i was 15/16 that ive properly attempted anything full length with the means to actually finish it off.

when is it going to be finished?

that's a good question. and one i don't know the answer to. it took me 2 months to get to chapter 4 so... it may take a year or two or 6 months dude but it's gonna be long and it's gonna be full

please don't be shy to ask me about it (though that doesn't mean im inclined to spoil it — which i won't!)

[shelaghdette]

theory: trixie franklin is a lesbian

alright, this one may prove slightly controversial, but please bear with me! i've always taken the view that trixie is bi, but thinking about it more, i've come to a different conclusion.

glossary -

wlw - woman loving women, a blanket term for any woman who is attracted to women.

sapphic - another blanket term for femmes who are attracted to femmes, arguably more inclusive than wlw - here used interchangeably with the above.

lesbian - a woman or femme who is exclusively attracted to other women or femmes.

bisexual - a person who is attracted to two or more genders.

a note on compulsory heterosexuality -

before you read this, if you don't already, it's probably best to understand the concept of compulsory heterosexuality, or comphet.

this is when societies (like most in the world, even in the modern day) enforce the normalisation of heterosexual love and relationships, to the point that lgbt people feel pushed towards straight-passing relationships when they may be happier in a queer relationship.

comphet applies to all genders and queer sexualities, but today i'm going to be discussing it specifically in the context that it impacts lesbian women.

relationships with women -

full disclosure - i am a trixadette shipper (i think i might've even invented the ship). i have analysed quite a number of scenes from the first two seasons where trixie and sister bernadette interact, and there doesn't appear to be much in the way of heterosexual explanation for their behaviour towards each other. that in itself deserves its own post, and will get one in due course.

my theory that trixie is attracted to women mostly stems from her interactions with sister bernadette, and later shelagh. there are a few longing looks, some flirtatious body language and just a general air of gals who are a bit more than pals.

however, aside from this, trixie never appears happier than when she interacts with other women. she seems to gain the most fulfilment from her relationships with her female friends, far more than she does with the men in her life. barbara and valerie are prime examples of this.

prior to realisation of being sapphic, it's very common for wlw to experience intense attachment and deep love for female friends. this can truly be just platonic, or it can be a crush that is so repressed that it presents as overwhelming platonic love.

"attraction" to men -

ever since the first season, trixie has been presented as the "boy crazy" girl. she often talks about men, but if you actually watch her behaviour, she rarely pursues any particular man. additionally, closeted queer people may often overcompensate for their insecure identities by putting forward a highly straight image.

it's extremely common for lesbians who are experiencing comphet to fantasise about an abstract concept of a relationship with a man, but not have much idea of WHO that man might be. in the early seasons, when she DOES pursue a man, it is with an ulterior motive (getting that actor to be a judge for the baby show) and it ends disastrously for her.

when she does eventually get into relationships with men, it is because they pursue her. it happened with all three of her relationships we've seen on the show - tom, christopher and matthew. i do not personally think trixie showed any interest in them prior to them showing interest in her, but YMMV.

image consciousness

it's very telling that, during her AA meetings, trixie speaks at length about her ability to put on a show to please others around her. obviously, she talks about this in the context of placating her mentally ill and alcoholic father, but this skill from childhood has been highly transferable to her adult life too.

trixie is extremely good at putting on a front and looking well put together, even during her worst moments. when she was relapsing, she hid it well until her secret was unwittingly revealed to phyllis by a patient. the girl can lie and lie, but it's all a defense mechanism.

trixie clearly struggles with a view that she must be seen as perfect at all times. it's easy to see how, if she was a lesbian, this would not fit into the image she tries to display to others. i believe that part of her striving for perfection includes wanting a relationship with a man. this leads me into my next point.

cultural context

it probably goes without saying, but the 1960s was not an easy time to be a sapphic woman, especially if you weren't attracted to men. we just need to look at the story of patsy and delia to see how the show acknowledges this. comphet is still a problem we face today, in the year of our lord 2024, but it was absolutely rampant in those days. female lgbt behaviour was never criminalised like male homosexual acts, but it was harshly viewed. wlw faced a lot of the same challenges as mlm, as well as their own unique struggles when homophobia is coupled with misogyny.

marriage to a man and child-bearing were still considered the most important things a woman could do in that era. and by the time trixie gets into a relationship with matthew, she is approaching her mid-30s. in that time, trixie would have already been considered "on the shelf." the show really implies this by her becoming a lot more focused on her search for a husband in later series, like when she joins the marriage bureau.

relationships with men

i won't say much about tom, but trixie makes no bones about it when she told him he and barbara are much better suited. there's a real notion that trixie feels out of place in her relationship with tom, and ultimately she breaks it off when she realises she couldn't be happy with him in the long term.

this continues into her relationship with christopher. i really like christopher, and i think trixie does too. by far, he is the person who treats her the nicest out of the three men she has had major relationships with. however, even then, she doesn't seem entirely comfortable, and breaks it off when she fears how intimate the relationship has become. i think the situation with alexandra is mostly an excuse for her fear of commitment to a man.

i also want to talk about sex (minors, cover your ears) when i mention christopher. he's the first man she is ever implied to have slept with, and she agonised over it for a very long time before she makes the decision to do it. some people read this as her being asexual (which she still could be, even as a lesbian!), or just "proper" for the era, but opinions vary. i view it as her having no sexual attraction to MEN.

finally, matthew. oh, matthew. he makes me so very angry.

matthew and trixie essentially traumabonded over the death of his first wife, and she is a good supportive presence to him raising his son in her capacity as a midwife. i think the convenience of him showing interest in her, coupled with her recent anxiety about find a partner, created the situation where they eventually married.

and she still isn't happy. when the new pupil midwives arrive and trixie hears them having fun with nancy, she looks really sad and lost, and my heart just breaks for her. it's a sign that she regrets leaving the lifestyle she loves for a life of domestic "bliss".

when they had their argument about trixie's work, it's very telling that her immediate response was to retreat back to her safe place of nonnatus house for half the week. trixie feels the most secure when she is among women, this is shown time and time again.

this was super long winded and possibly a ramble, but these are my thoughts on her. if you made it to the end, here's my favourite happy video edit of trixie and shelagh. i'll probably make a whole post about why i ship them next.

[aussiellama]

Random Spider White headcannon

He is really good at maths, he's actually good at school in general but he's really good at maths

Ant: We all have our demons.

Ant, grabbing Spider : This one’s mine.

Ant: You look mentally ill.

Spider : I am. Let’s go.

Ant: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Spider : Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Ant:

Spider : I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Spider : Stop failing.

Ant: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Ant: *Succeeds*

Ant: Dang it!

Spider : Watcha doin?

Ant: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.

Spider : Scandalous.

Spider : Can I help?

Ant,: Do you know how many bones the human body has? It's 206. We start with 369 when we're babies but they fuse. Wouldn't you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby? What if I could help you.

Spider : Hi, yeah, what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does that mean?

Spider: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds.

Ant: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Spider: NO-

Spider: Get your fucking shit together and act like an adult!

Ant : Think you have the wrong person but you're right.

Ant : Old people? More like fold people! *Makes an origami swan out of grandma*.

Spider: Literally what was going through your mind that motivated you to do this?

Spider: We need a plan to beat them.

Ant: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.

Spider:

Ant: Judge me all you want, I get result

Ant: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Spider: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

Ant: You disgust me.

Spider: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Ant: Look, Spider, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

Spider, pointing at Ant: Well, you can't spell stupid without "U".

Ant: Well, there's an "I" in stupid, too!

Spider:

Ant: Damn, Spider, are you secretly cool?

Spider: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Ant: I do not.

Spider: Psst... Hey. Fucker. *Kisses you* idiot.

Ant: Hey, sweetheart! Hey dear! *Fucking decks you in the face* Angel~

Spider: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Ant, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Spider: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Ant: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Spider:

Spider: Why are you eating dirt?

Ant: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Spider: I have very high standards, you know.

Ant: I can make spaghetti...

Spider: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

Spider: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.

Ant: But what if something else happens just this one time.

Spider: Let's roleplay.

Ant: Okay. I'll be Elmo and you'll be-

Spider: Elmo?

Ant: Oh, fuck yes. Two Elmos.

Spider: Wait-

Ant: Did you know that you can't actually breathe when you're smiling?

Spider: *Smiles*

Ant: Haha, gotcha! I just wanted to make you smile!

Spider: Motherfucker

Spider: Kinda gay for a man to have dark circles under his eyes. Why aren't you getting a good night's sleep? Too busy thinking about other men?

Ant: Kinda gay for a man to be well rested. What are you dreaming peacefully about? Other men?

Spider: You smell so good.

Ant: So lick me, then.

Spider: Huh?

Ant: Huh?

Spider: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Ant: Mine just says "Ant no."

Spider: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Spider, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Ang: *half asleep* Spider, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.

Ant: Relationships should be 50/50. Spider cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Ant: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Spider: What changed your mind?

Ant: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

Ant with puppy dog eyes: I baked you a cookie... But I eated it...

Spider: Don't you ever get tired of being fucking annoying?

Ant: I desire moisture.

Spider: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Spider: Ant, you're my best friend.

Ant: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Ant: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

Ant: *on the phone* Hey Spider, do you know my blood type?

Spider: Of course, it's B-.

Ant: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

Ant: What's wrong with you?

Spider: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Ant: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." and "Sorry, Daddy. I've been bad." both mean very similar things but have wildly different connotations.

Spider: Get the duct tape, cause I'm shutting you up for good.

Ant: When am I gonna be able to have my 100k slow burn enemies to lovers relationship...?

Spider: Stop reading fanfiction and get back to work.

Ant: Mate. You wanna go?

Spider: Yeah.

Ant: ...On a date with me-

Ant: Oh you do?

Spider: You're saying that like I fell for a cunning prank. We're literally dating, you egg.

Ant: I trained this chicken to talk!

Spider: Let's see, then.

Ant: What's a male deer?

Chicken: Buck

Ant: How much is 200 pennies?

Chicken: Buck buck.

Spider: This is stupid...

Ant: It gets better.

Chicken: It gets way better, Spider.

[tangarang]

So any word of Coupon Kids or are you unsure/trying to keep quiet about it for right now? I like quat's redesign. It's more visually distinct than the original.

tldr: I am trying to pick back up on Coupon Kids, reworking the story (yeah , the actual story) with a lot more intention! Idk how long it will take, but just know that I'm taking it seriously.

If you want the LONNGGG story of it, here it is!

Last time we left off in the comic, I was in quarantine with my niece and sister! I was helping to raise my niece so my sister could get out of a horribly abusive relationship. I was a full time nanny which was tough! Cause I had to still make rent from home on commissions, but no one was buying them because we all became RLY RLY poor all at once.... go figure.

I turned to Coupon Kids for support because umm I was kinda fucked tbh 6_6. I had run out of money and had no time to make more, but I SQUEEEZED out the last of the Halibut Jones arc! (which, even at the time of completion, I knew it was an underwhelming piece of work, but I finished it and I'm proud I did!) Thanks to everyone's support, I had enough financial padding that I could rely on Patreon's passive income and refocus on supporting my sister/niece as well as plan to make the move down south to continue my schooling once the quarantine let up. So thats where I had left the comic for the time being in terms of story, with a sprinkle of short strips here and there, but nothing plot related, because the plot was horribly fucked right from the get-go.

I had to take multiple severe hiatuses with Coupon Kids because I got my ass handed to me on several accounts through ought. Horrible breakup, friend break up, severe mental illness, best friend got cancer, best friend died, quarantine, unexpected parenthood, gallbladder disease, then school. All the while Coupon Kids was something I made in the deepest pits of my depression.

I absolutely hated my self, my work, and my art. That all looped back to being a strange source of peace for me to make stuff w/o fear of judgement. No one could hate Coupon Kids as much as I did. I was the #1 Coupon Kids hater and I ruined it by making it. (this is a retrospective pov obv... I dont think my work is worthless anymore thx wellbutrin lol)

Coupon Kids was very liberating to write in that I had no standards, but the lack of structure kinda eventually lead to its own downfall once I started to get better. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted the story to be, but I was so disoriented by chemical imbalance and weed (I smoked SOOO much weed) I didn't rly care about the ending because tbh I thought I was gonna be dead before I got anywhere near the ending. But then Kira died, So I officially abstained myself from death's sexy loins and committed myself to giving life another go.

Sorry for the autobio dump: its kinda hard to convey Coupon Kids development w/o getting into the nitty gritty of what I was going through at the time of making it. The point is this: I made Coupon Kids with the intention of it being a stain on my legacy- but then I ended up loving the stain and it's inhabitants. Its made coming back to it difficult, because I want to put genuine effort in it but that clashes with it's overall tone. Instead of creating in spite, I'd like to create it in celebration of my artistic short comings and to do that is to completely rework the entire moral of the story and all of the characters. If I'm gonna do it right, I'd like to take my time.

Not sure how many people made it to the end of this one! Sorry I'm so quiet about my process. tbh the last 4 years have been the best of my life despite holding a lot of dread. I'm doing a lot better now and am really excited to work on what I love and be grateful I have the power to do so ! So thank you for reading if you are still interested, it means a lot!

[elizabethrobertajones]

A Dragoon's Work Is Never Done part... three? four? I did not caption the first in this series with that and so I can't even find it now.

Anyway the important thing is this seemingly completely normal diplomatic mission from Radz-at-Han where the Satrap has brought his sister for Fete Day over to visit the dragons in the other city state perched on a rock with a long history of dragon relations for good or ill. Estinien is refusing to dress up as a diplomat, which he is now when it comes to dragon things, whether he likes it or not. He claims he's just here for the Fete food. G'raha is here because he's glued to Frog and likes witnessing history happening in nice ways.

Day 6: Celebrations | Holidays

Oh, wait the above images were a spot the difference

#I'm so interested in Estinien's and Frog's relationship (platonic) and how he fits into the puzzle now that she and Aymeric are A Thing @lilbittymonster

OKAY this will be unnecessary long to explain why Aymeric is getting so smirky.

So way way way back I did actually ship Estinien and Frog a bit, because I'd done dragoon 50 before HW and was therefore Completely Normal about the Estinien/WoL relationship. But I couldn't quite make it stick in my heart, and for whatever reason despite Estinien actually being, I personally think, the character with the closest bond to the WoL on the deepest levels bar the characters who are literally part of the WoL (you know, like, the 3-5 of them we cram in there), it ended up feeling more like just an unbreakable platonic friend bond. *shrugs* sometimes your heart just decrees stuff.

In Frog Canon this translates to the Stormblood 70 Dragoon quest being a moment where after sharing the dragoon eyeball tether for the first time, Frog and Estinien are riding an absolute high of connection and feeling really good about accomplishing Good Dragoon Things (and the reason I keep captioning Estinien and Frog doing dragon stuff as "work never being done" is them chasing that high again by tying up loose ends like taking Vrtra to visit Hraesvelgr or Middy, or taking Azdaja and Middy out for curry together).

That night on the steppe, they camped out together and shared a drink and the spoils of a hunt, Orn Khai was asleep by the fire. And completely unprompted Frog and Estinien both decided at the same moment to swoop in for a kiss, which lasted roughly 3 seconds and they broke apart like "woah, no, that was weird. We don't need to do that again. Nope. Sorry." and they instead solemnly vowed their friendship, and then laughed about it and decided to take that incident to their graves.

(At this point Frog had no idea Estinien had literally ever had a relationship in his life, never mind having been with Haurchefant as well and technically at the same time as her since Haurche had only nebulously mentioned "other partners"; Estinien did know she had been madly in love with Haurchefant, and Aymeric, who in turn Estinien had his suspicions was madly in love with Frog since like, seeing them interact once even in early HW. So it was a bit of a shock to her but he'd been idly contemplating her place in all this now for a while. But since he, Frog and Aymeric were all technically single or on a break or whatever Estinien thought he was doing while ghosting Aymeric for his own mental health SB > ShB patches, there weren't any of those connections to actually like. Build anything on.)

Fast forward to Endwalker, and I'm fully on the "Ysayle needs to know she won and Estinien has gone full dragonfucker" train, because he and Vrtra are an incredible power couple and it really represents to me a sort of final stop on Estinien needing to come to terms with everything that happened to him ever in his life and having accepted all sides of both the grand scope of history and also his own relationship to dragons, Nidhogg, and relations with dragons. He returns to R-a-H post-EW very very intrigued by what Vrtra wants with him, and they pretty much immediately get together.

I think by this point he's also encountered Aymeric enough times to have started to realise they never really broke up so much as stopped seeing each other, and Aymeric is exactly as devoted to him as he was last time they met, and Estinien only actually feels guilty about avoiding him so long, and mostly because Ishgard itself gives him the heebie jeebies immediately after HW and nothing to do with what Aymeric has done or not. So he's completely ready to resume that and just needs an excuse.

Which of course is Vrtra suggesting gently that there's a valuable connection there for Estinien and for the future of the two cities. AND Frog is on his case about seeing if Vrtra wants to meet the Dravanian dragons. Which he does. And then it only belatedly occurs to him when standing in Ishgard with Aymeric that maybe Frog also was manoeuvring. (I actually credit more G'raha machinations that Frog enacted, if you dig deeper :P)

Aymeric sort of ends up the orbiting twin star to the centre of the Frogicule, since he's the connection to all that and brings this whole side in, and considering all the pining on Frog's side to others, he's really got the more stable side of it all somehow...

She's glad of it because most of why she broke Aymeric's heart in the first place post-HW is because she thought it was cruelly unfair how little time she could spare for him and that he would only be mistreated by her coming in and out of his life at random.

The solution? A SECOND partner who comes in and out of his life at random and has very little tolerance for being in Ishgard! \o/ Between the two of them, maybe they add up to one full time partner?

(cue both of them getting on ships to Tural without consulting each other)

I don't think she goes out of her way to avoid seeing Estinien and Aymeric at the same time or finds it at all uncomfortable (low boundaries between them after all), but also she and Estinien are mutually uninterested in each other romantically and only passingly physically so aren't really interested in anything more than perhaps sharing a bed for platonic sleeping with a nice comfy buffer of Aymeric. It's easier just to enjoy spending time with them doing fun things like hanging out in the Firmament chatting to dragons and eating fair food, then take her catboy and leave. To the catboy's eternal disappointment. (Sorry G'raha, now this post isn't about you and we're talking Estinien today!)

Aymeric is here at this party realising he'd bed literally anyone there including Big!Varshahn (jury out on how he'd take to actual dragonfucking but it's like. A Catholic guilt loophole meeting a dragon who looks like a guy.) I don't think Vrtra and Aymeric are quite ready for anything but the simple fact of his existence is like an accessory that's making Estinien 1000x hotter in Aymeric's eyes I guess. Ser, that's a fellow head of state, please stop objectifying him.

Aymeric can not believe his luck that in a matter of months he's gone from staring forlornly out of a window alone to glancing between his hot girlfriend and his hot boyfriend, and is suddenly thrilled to go down in history as Ishgard's most eligible bachelor (never married, so many close friendships, all his letters and diaries spontaneously combusted on his death, how sad).

... as stated before, I am such a fan of Aymeric being a messy bitch who lives for drama and also is full of Secret Yearning and Weird Thoughts and would do wildly unstable things while projecting an aura of control and calm. Literally who knows if five to ten actual years down the line he and Vrtra end up publically married to unite their countries forever or something, but for now, this is where we're at.

Frog is just happy everyone is happy, and lacking the Ishgardian upbringing had given zero thought to Vrtra as a sex object and actively restricts herself from patting big!Varshahn on the head like he is still tiny. Little-brother-gender dragon snares another big sister. Estinien's love life remains a blissful mystery to her except for occasionally comparing calendars with Aymeric and swerving around the weekends he's blocked off for Estinien.