#I have a lot of scenes to build for their story | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

samhadjblog2 · 1 day ago

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O.k with VI and Caitlyn you have an interesting point. However I would still argue that while rooted in their own personal goals. And sure it can be a read that "both cities should come together". However its not an indication that "The cities will come together due to saving the world". Because Vi and Caitlyn coming together is meaningful while how the two cities come together in the end is contrived.

You keep on saying "Silco and Jayce's conversation"Was foreshadowing" and I'm telling its not a We must unite against a common enemy" its "This is a city of progress and we must try to progress forward" and as I've stated before its "One scene" nothing else indicates these thing. And Ambessa being introduced doesn't change that because Arcane was a multifaceted story that didn't have a "Central antagonist" that everyone would rally against. Its like saying "Silco was the central antagonist" because he did awful things. . The same can be said with Ambessa she wasn't there to be "The bad guy everyone rallied against" she was just some who would escalate tension between the two cities. Show's with political conflicts often times introduce new characters late in who aren't there to be someone the characters rally against but instead are there to create more tension.

While Yes the hexcore was dangerous however I would argue that it was there for Viktor's development. Because he was going to go down a dark path. And even then "The Hexcore isn't what caused the apocalypse in the end " it was the anomaly that did it".

The story didn't naturally moved into that direction. The story forced itself into specific direction. A big issue people had with season 2 was that a lot of the character's lack a lot of agency and things just happened to them. Even if you want to argue that "This was always planned" it still doesn't take away the fact that so much of it still falls into what the writers were trying to avoid.

Christian and Amanda are talking about how things that involve "End of the world stakes" are not compelling because they don't tell us anything about the characters. It doesn't matter if this was "The Consequences of the characters actions". It was still the same kind of "War story" that they both talk about not being "Character driven".

Also with that in mind Viktor only tried to end the world because Jayce was too stupid to not just talk it out with Viktor when his commune was fine and he was still connected to his emotions. His "despair of humanity isn't built on anything meaningful"(Just to note that I'm not against Viktor going bad just that how the show executed it was dumb).

Yes the show is called "Arcane" however that never meant that it was "Always going to be the main focus of the story" the focus was the characters and political strife of the city. The way the Arcane was used in the first season was grounded and how the characters utilized were more small and practical. Yes Ekko builds tje Z-drive and Viktor becomes a machine herald. However how they accomplished these things in their original lore was small scale and didn't involve big things like the multiverse. Ekko made it from some scraps and didn't involve multiverse hopping. And the extent of what Viktor did for the Glorious evolution was just go around and healed people, and didn't trying to create a giant hive mind to connect everyone in the world. So while magic was prevalent that didn't mean the focus would be "larger then life ideas". That was the appeal of the series that it was just small piece of a much larger world, and just bringing in things such as "Viktor being the wizard" and "The Anomaly" all just make it feel so much more small and less unique to the rest of "Runeterra". Hell i'm not even saying it was bad that there was a big battle in the end. Just that having the conflict be "Saving the world and we must unite against it" makes everything so nebulous and empty. It also doesn't help that they try to add in all of these big ideas alongside

Also yes this ending was a big ol "Age of Ultron". That film had "philosophical ideas and interpersonal character conflict, however it tries to accomplish this through nebulous end of the world scenario's and big fights, heck it also has the same "Consequences of our actions" sentiment that you keep on mentioning. So its not too different to the finale.

Vi and Jinx already reconciled things before and there fight with Warwick felt so empty (Warwick was just an excuse to get the sisters to talk to each other again without addressing there issues. All he did was "beast out" in one episode, and then things just happen to him and he doesn't get to make any meaningful choices of his own accord and is just reduced to an empty shell). Also we just get another moment where Vi just reacts and breaks down from loosing her sister "Again". (Man Vi was just a punching bag that was tossed back and forth through out the season).

Mel and Caitlyn fight against Ambessa was alright. However doesn't the whole basis of Mel defeating her mom just "Continue the cycle of violence, because she managed to defeat her mom through violence and which leads to ambessa coming and calling her 'The wolf".

Viktor and Jayce's was just really dumb. Having the wizard turn out to be "Future Viktor" make no sense. The only reason the "Glorious evolution" even happens is because "He gave Jayce the stone" in the past so why bother giving him the stone. Also if Jayce knew about Future Viktor why didn't immediately tell Viktor this ? All the events in "The Dark future" only happened because Jayce shot Viktor (No the acceleration rune didn't change anything. If you back to the dark future you see not only "The Noxian fleet", "A mannequin that has the same broken eye as Caitlyn", The same busted clocktower that Ekko busted", and "We see Jayce in the same position as his future counterpart on top of the Hex-gates, The device that could only of been built if Jayce got the acceleration rune" so no the loop doesn't make sense). And all we get is this weird nebulous conclusion where they hug together and just disappear ? That was one big lipped alligator moment.

As for the "Regular people who died". back to my point about "War ending stakes are not interesting". And so Characters like Loris and that one Jinxer dying feel empty. (It doesn't help that Loris was a nothing burger character).

The problem of the "Sevika seat" isn't that it didn't resolved everything. Its that the conflict of Piltover and Zaun was dropped around episode 4. And so we see the story "Ending on the note of Sevika joining the council". It doesn't feel like a meaningful first step that will have some pushback, it rather just feels like a "Cheap way of resolving the conflict". So to people it comes off as it "Did" resolved the conflict (it also feels cheap that this all we get of Sevika in the series after episode 4, I know she was in the final fight as well at Jayce's meeting but it such a brief moment). I just think instead the big final battle that get's the characters together. The final conflict should the inevitable civil war between Piltover and Zaun. And in between that war we see Jayce and Vi try to prevent it from breaking out and we get moments similar to Jayce deal with Silco were they try to reach an agreement. And the finale is more dedicated to the characters understanding how shakey these choices are and are navigating their feelings on the matter. That my friend "Realistic and grounded". Not Big giant battle then one person on the seat.

Yes Arcane was about "The cycle of violence and how the characters break away from it (remember hallucination Silco said it began long before he Vander and will exist long after Jinx and Vi). As well as how the characters "Somewhat" became who they are in LoL. However to say that the show was "Never a story of class conflict is a absolutely not true". Arcane made it clear that the "Cycle of violence originates from the establishment of class hierarchy". We also see how hierarchy influence the characters. And how it drives their motivations. The conflict of the two cities cut both ways the character's influenced the world and the world influenced the characters. To act like that's all the setting was meant to do is just not true.

“What happened to rebel Vi? Season 2 destroyed her character!”

“What happened to rebel Vi” is that Vander took her to the bridge where her parents died in his revolution and asked her what she was willing to lose. Then she meets Cait who is gentle and kind while still being tough and it makes her rethink how she sees topside. When Jinx tells her she changed too, that’s what she’s talking about.

I’m sorry if you thought Vi was going to be a topside-hating revolutionary in Season 2, but that’s clearly not where her character arc was going. Remember how she forced her way between Ekko and Cait? It seemed very straightforward that was the role her character was taking on.

I feel similar about people who act like the show was betraying its premise because it ended with reconciliation/Zaun and Piltover working together. Again, the fact that two of the most important relationships were between characters from both sides and that they made a point of talking about Zaun and Piltover first coming together against a common enemy was a pretty clear indicator that was the plan.

Now, I get being annoyed that that was what they chose to do. You don’t have to love the creative decisions of media, just like media doesn’t have to compromise its creative direction to satisfy you. But not liking that they went that direction is not the same as the show having bad writing or engaging in character assassination.

Everything Vi did in season 2 was very much in character with how she changed and who she became throughout Season 1. Hell, she used enforcers and Hextech to raid Shimmer facilities before Commander Kiramman ever threw on a beret. So, yes, actually wearing the uniform was a huge and complicated decision that she was definitely not happy about, but it also fell in line with what she had been doing.

There’s meat for another post at some point about the three different Zaun/enforcer partnerships we see in the show: Vander/Greyson, Silco/Marcus, and Cait/Vi; but I’m not going to go into that now.

TLDR: “Rebel Vi” who wants to fight all of topside hasn’t existed since the end of the second episode of the show.

Editing to add that Vi doesn’t see attacking Chem Barons as attacking Zaun; she’s taking down the people who are destroying Zaun.

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clonerightsagenda · 3 days ago

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To celebrate space archives getting published I might as well post an abandoned short story from 3 years ago that deals with a lot of the same themes in a more concentrated way. This is my toxic yuri for 2025. Enjoy and see if you can remember the post I made about it back in 2022.

This Story Was Made Possible By Viewers Like You

I never liked confession cams.

You know, someone sits in a soundproof room with just the cameras and talks all teary-eyed about how they’ve struggled, and how they really feel, now that no one can hear. But of course someone can hear. You can. You’re there, in the room with them, a few months in the future and a hundred miles away. It’s all a performance. Everything is.

I’m not doing that, ok? This is for me.

They came to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They came with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They came with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I came with nothing. I was already there.

It started the same as always. They jumped when I greeted them and then stole glances at each other’s reactions. No one said anything back. I didn’t expect them to. I’d been getting everything ready. Twenty bedrooms, names on the doors. Lights on, temperature tweaked up there, down here, never quite comfortable. I’m very good at that part of my job.

That first arrival scene goes through a lot of editing. Cut out the boring bits, highlight the quirks that make contestants stand out. The details we highlight set the audience’s perception of each player. Create heroes, villains, characters. No one on these shows presents themselves as they really are. You get the construct.

Me? I get a little bit more.

Let’s skip the boring parts. They milled around for a while before finding their rooms. Most unpacked their clothes. One placed a photograph on her dressing table, angling it so it would be in easy view of the camera. A bid for sympathy, I figured, but my opinion wasn’t the one that mattered.

The files would have told me that her name was Gloria Martina Sosa, contestant ID seventeen, age twenty-nine, pronouns she/her. Employed in finance and competing because her mother needed to pay for a medical procedure. The files would tell me that, but I already knew.

This time, there was a container of chocolates on the table when Gloria inched down the hallway to the dining area. She was good at finding her way around the floorplan already, even though it was designed to send them circling in the wrong direction and bumping into each other. I wondered if they noticed.

She approached the chocolates cautiously. She knew it had to be a test. I knew she liked chocolate.

“Can –” She paused before old-fashioned manners asserted themselves. “May I have one?”

“Yes,” I said.

She slid her hand in. Then she hesitated again, fingers still reaching. “Would you like one?”

I checked to see if someone else had entered the room. Nothing on the visuals from any of the dining room cameras. She was the only one there.

She was talking to me.

“No,” I said, after an obvious pause. Then, because of the manners, “No thank you.”

Her fingers curled around a chocolate. “That was stupid of me.”

I didn’t need to answer that, so instead I thought about her motives. I couldn’t show favoritism; she should know that. Did she want to look empathetic for the audience? She wouldn’t win any points cozying up to me.

Maybe she meant it as a genuine kindness. It was early enough that she might not know better.

“Do you ever wish you could eat?” she asked. The chocolate was in her mouth, but her fingers folded and refolded the square of foil.

Why was she still talking to me? I couldn’t tell her it was against the rules – it wasn’t, officially. So I said, “This won’t make good television.”

Her eyes widened. She was thinking of all the time she’d wasted here, the time her competitors might have been using to build alliances or look for clues. She yanked the container of chocolates off the table and ran back toward the hallway. She’d use them as an offering, maybe, or a bargaining chip. She didn’t say thank you, or goodbye.

Why would she? I’m not a player. I’m the host.

I know how this sounds, so let me set the record straight. I’m not an artificial intelligence. People love to claim they’ve invented a thinking machine, but when you drill down to the bones of one you’ll always find an algorithm. Sure, this place runs on all sorts of automation, but at the end of the day, you need a human to come up with a wicked twist or make sure the tracking software doesn’t mix up Mateo and Benjamin because there was a mishap in the laundry room and they’re wearing each other’s clothes. AI doesn’t have the flexibility a project like this demands. I don’t think it ever will. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking, since if it happens, I’ll be out of a job. It’s not a great job (I’m making minimum wage here) but I don’t have to pay rent or buy groceries, so the money adds up.

There used to be a whole team – six-hour shifts, front-end and back-end crews – but budget cuts hit everywhere. It gets quiet sometimes, but at least I don’t have to make a big production of hiding when I’m going to the bathroom with a tampon. I do the best I can, drink a lot of coffee, and chalk any delays or mistakes up to a buggy operating system. There are surgeries you can get to keep you sharper – some employers insist on them – but I wouldn’t let anyone stick neurotech in my brain even if I could afford it. Too many horror stories. It’s easy to keep them thinking I’m a machine. I slap a voice filter on, and my disinterest in everyone’s drama means I don’t have to fake sounding inhumanly bored.

But enough about the woman behind the curtain. That’s not what anyone tunes in for.

About half the guests roamed the halls after dark the first night, which meant prowlers skulking around corners and smacking into each other. I downed two energy drinks and kept an eye out for the most entertaining close calls so I could cut them together later. On other nights I’d feel safe sneaking some sleep, but the first was always busy.

Gloria stayed in her room. Instead of climbing into bed right away, she knelt and whispered something in Spanish. The translation software would handle that for anyone who wanted to know what she was praying for. I could guess.

When she finished, she looked up. They’re never sure where to focus when they talk to me. I’ve learned to read that lost expression as a sign I’m about to be on call. “If I need something, do I just ask?”

“That’s correct.” When she didn’t say anything else, I continued, “Did you need something?”

“Not right now.” Not from me.

The next few weeks passed the usual way. Dean found an immunity stone hidden behind the false back of the pantry. Three different groups swore ill-fated alliances while pretending to be preoccupied with their laundry. The first contestants were voted off, mostly because of dismal challenge performances and in one case because Heather kept stealing other people’s toothpaste. (Luckily for me, I didn’t have to listen to them moping about being eliminated. The losers’ quarters had cameras, of course – everywhere does – but none of those feeds went to my workstation.)

Most of the time the participants treated me as so much background, but there are always exceptions. One afternoon Haruto and Farah were arguing about an inane piece of early twenty-first century pop culture trivia and wanted me to tell them who was right, and Anna was asking about the latest sports scores, and one of the microphones in the dining room wouldn’t connect right even though I’d run troubleshooting, and –

“Is Corey busy?”

I pressed the intercom button for Gloria’s room and said, “One moment, please.” Then I switched channels (click). “The home team won their last game 4 to 1.” Click. “Yes, it was the same actor; they used CGI to make him look younger.” Click. “Sorry for the delay.” I punched in Corey’s ID to pull up the last place the cameras had seen him. “A lot of guests are requesting my services right now.”

I don’t know what did it. Maybe a hint of exasperation crept into my tone, or the keystrokes filtered through the speakers, or a real sentient computer program wouldn’t apologize. Whatever tipped her off, Gloria’s eyebrows pulled down. It wasn’t an expression of surprise as much as it said, ‘I knew it’.

“You’re not an AI,” she said. “Are you.”

Damn. I could have lied. The producers would’ve wanted me to, but they left me there to play the game however I chose. Besides, I’d already paused too long. A machine wouldn’t have to think about it.

“A lot of the answers are. There’s a library of canned responses for the most predictable questions. I’m here for the more complicated problems.”

“Here?” She spun her eyes around the room like I might pop out of a closet.

“On site. Behind the scenes.”

“But you can see and hear me?” She hunched in on herself. “I don’t like that.”

“You signed up to be on a TV show.”

“That’s different.”

Because I wasn’t an adoring fan. “Did you want an answer to your question?”

“You can see him too?” She was hung up on that considering the position she put herself in. The contracts they signed asked them to give away all sorts of control.

“I can see everyone. I’m not watching all the time, though. That’s part of the automation. I get notified when there’s activity that might be interesting.” I checked the relevant screen, which showed me the feed from camera 251. “He’s brushing his teeth.”

“Is that interesting?”

“Not according to the system.” Showering would be, because the system’s a pervert. So are the folks back home, although the editors make sure to frame things just right so that we can deny we’re showing anything explicit.

She sighed. She kept her head angled toward the floor, like denying the cameras eye contact preserved some sliver of her privacy. “I guess I can’t opt out.”

“Not until you go home. You could try to be less interesting, but it’ll cost you.” That strayed dangerously close to advice. “I’ll delete this conversation, though. Have to preserve my image.”

That got her head to pop up. “You can do that?”

I wiggled my fingers over the keyboard, a pointless gesture since she couldn’t see me. “As long as you’re in this building, I’m basically God.”

“God.” Her lip curled. I’d seen her praying earlier. Maybe my boast sounded like blasphemy. “What’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’ve got rules. Sorry,” I added, repeating that human touch that betrayed me.

“I don’t know why I asked.” She looked away from the camera again. “Don’t watch me sleep.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was pretty. But watching a pretty woman over the cameras isn’t automatically creepy. If it is, what does that say about you?

I tried to keep my word. Gloria wanted to believe she still had boundaries, and unlike our loyal viewers, I don’t get my kicks spying on people. Every so often, though, my eyes crept back to her square on my monitor. I knew so much about these people, and she was the only one who knew I existed. That knowledge was like a blinking notification that never went away.

I didn’t expect Gloria to talk to me again, and for a few days she didn’t. She sat in silence while I announced the day’s events or when other participants asked me questions, a frown mostly smoothed off her face. I saw it, though. That’s what she was frowning about.

Four days after our conversation, she was tearing her room apart looking for something. It’d been twenty minutes, and she wasn’t going to find it. I was waiting for her to figure that out. She groaned, tilted her head up, and asked, “Do you know where my charger is?”

“Under the sofa in the living room.”

She jumped. “That was fast.”

“Pretty good AI impression, right?” I hadn’t been watching her sleep, but I’d been paying attention. So sue me. If she decided to spill my secret, I’d have to… well, I didn’t know. It had never happened before.

“Is anyone else there right now?”

“Haruto and Farah.” Still arguing, somehow. Getting worked up about each other’s vintage cinema opinions was their version of entertainment.

She sighed and sat on the side of her bed. “I don’t want to get sucked into whether we need any more live action remakes. Can you tell me when they leave?”

“Sure.” Informal. I was slipping.

She drummed her ankles against the floor and then, with a huff, hopped up again and began straightening the mess she made. She wasn’t a woman who liked to be still. I wasn’t surprised when she broke the silence. “Does anyone else know?”

“If they’ve guessed, they haven’t said anything. This isn’t a test, or one of the puzzles you’re supposed to solve. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

She slammed a drawer. “Do you like spying on people?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” She snorted. “It’s a job. A boring one, most of the time. Alerts tell me when any of you do something relevant, and then I cut the best footage together and send it back to the real editors. I’m not watching you every second. Who would want to?”

That got her to stop folding a shirt and look up at camera 387 so I’d be sure to see the disgusted expression on her face. “The fans?”

Fair point. “I forget about them sometimes.”

“I doubt your bosses would be happy to hear that.” She moved on to stuffing toiletries back into her bag, but her movements were less ferocious. “How did you end up working here?”

“I worked as set crew on a few smaller projects. I didn’t get training for it, but I’m good at picking up just enough to make myself useful.” That’s what kept me around through round after round of layoffs. I learned the bare bones of other people’s jobs, and upper management decided bare bones was enough. That kind of approach doesn’t make friends in the workplace, but neither does getting fired. And hey, it worked out that I’m not a team player. The only one on my team now is me.

“Do you like reality TV?”

“Hell no.” I couldn’t believe anyone would put up with the genre without getting paid for it. “But a job’s a job. Did you always dream about starring in something like this?”

She paused, clutching a bottle of perfume. “Not like this.” She took a bracing whiff – the label said orange vanilla, but smell is one thing I can’t piggyback on. “You’ll delete this?”

The start of our conversation was already flagged. “Speak freely.”

“I liked the romantic ones when I was younger. The fairy tale element; I read a lot of fairy tales growing up. Later I realized how artificial they were, but you keep hoping.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I told you that.”

Neither could I. Then again, they were encouraged to bare their souls for the cameras. It must be a hard habit to break. “Given the data I’ve collected, I think Anna is your one true love.”

Instead of laughing, she shoved the perfume into her bag. “I’m not here for that.”

“I know.”

She zipped up the bag, stood, and looked right at the camera, hands on hips. It was the closest I’d come to eye contact with someone in months. “How much do you know about me?”

“Mostly what’s in your files.” I reread them after she caught me. I had her entire application packet, every official scrap of information the network collected.

“And I don’t know anything about you.”

“You know I don’t like reality TV.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

She shot the question at me, and I responded reflexively. “Blue. At least it is now. I don’t see the sky much on this job.”

“Blue.” She digested that and looked past the cameras, up to the ceiling and the sky beyond that she’d only see through windows until the game was over. “I miss it too.”

“Now you know one thing about me. Happy?”

“Can I ask more, later?” She sucked her lower lip between her teeth; I think the question surprised her as much as it did me. “I don’t like being watched by a stranger. I can’t stop you watching, but I can stop you from being such a stranger.” A crafty spark entered her eyes. “You are here to answer our questions. That’s what they told us in orientation.”

They did tell them that. “I’ll do what I can,” I said. “But be careful. I don’t want everyone in the house asking me for my biography.”

Gloria was the one on camera, but she was the one who forgot herself. She was standing in the kitchen running a plate under the water when she looked toward a camera and asked, “What do you eat?”

“Uh,” said Benjamin, waiting for his turn at the sink. “Are you talking to me?”

“Based on existing data, Benjamin enjoys soy-based products and fresh fruit,” I said in my best automaton voice.

At least she caught on quick. “Thank you,” she said, and went back to rinsing pasta sauce off her dishes.

After she retreated to her room, she said, “I’m guessing I’m not supposed to socialize with you.”

“There aren’t any rules against it,” I said, which wasn’t a no, and then followed it up with, “It’s not the most strategic use of your time,” which wasn’t a yes.

“I need a break from everything out there sometimes. At least I know what you’re lying about.”

Safer not to comment on that one. Besides, she was still going.

“Mateo is always trying to make sure the cameras get his good side; you know he’s here to make a name for himself. And Anna keeps talking about how she wants to buy her own automated mansion, like she can’t imagine going back to having to manually turn on the lights. They’re so trivial. It makes me want to toss them out a window and tell them to come back when they have something serious to compete for.”

I didn’t comment on that either, but I could’ve. The truth was, at least half the participants needed the money for reasons beyond popularity contests or tech upgrades. It didn’t matter. If I told her, she wouldn’t think they deserved it as much as she did. Even without the files, I could have read her life story in her unblemished skin and name brand outfits. She’d never sweated through record-breaking summers because during surge periods companies always cut off the poorest neighborhoods first. She wrinkled her nose at the cricket flour crackers in the pantry like someone who had the luxury to leave food on her plate. She had no idea how many people watched her and wished they could take her place – not for a chance at a cash prize or fifteen minutes of fame, but just to have a safe place to sleep and enough to eat. When people watch shows like this, it’s not about rooting for an individual, not really. It’s about constructing elaborate narratives about themselves. Wanting participants, wanting to be them: there’s not much of a difference in the end. They’re all different flavors of consumption. Some players catch on faster and embrace being the product.

But Gloria was used to being on the other side of the equation. She’d been comfortable her whole life, and this medical bill was the first time she hadn’t had enough to make the world work the way she wanted. So she came running here for a fairy tale ending, because of course she was entitled to that along with everything else.

You’d think people like me who’ve been struggling their whole lives would fight hardest, but people like that? They get vicious.

Instead I said, “So you’re saying it’s nice to talk to me.”

“It’s a change.”

I minimized camera 16’s window where Richard and Destiny are gearing up to either start a fight or swap spit. Hard to tell with those two. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What do you think of us? You watch us all day.”

“Not all day, I told you. Honestly it’s – did you ever work customer service?” Her eyebrows jumped. I could’ve guessed that too. “Well, in that kind of job, you don’t pay much attention to individuals. You’re all one big crowd. Of course, you’re also my only live entertainment. Could you do anything more interesting?”

“Any suggestions?”

“Steal Corey’s watch.”

She laughed. Corey told everyone who would listen how expensive his custom-made timepiece was. His audience hung on to every word, although they were mostly hanging on to his cheekbones. “That won’t get me any votes.”

“I’d vote for you.”

“You mean you’re not charmed by him?”

“Not my type.”

“Not mine either.”

I know, I thought, but I didn’t say it. She didn’t like to be reminded.

Gloria didn’t steal Corey’s watch. The next time he made a production of giving someone the time she looked right at the nearest camera, and I almost choked on my protein bar laughing.

After she left that conversation, she slipped into her room and leaned against the door. “You always delete the video when I’m talking to you, right?”

“It wouldn’t do me any good to send it on.”

Her shoulders loosened. It was surprising, and a little gratifying, that my presence now made her relax. “In the real world, you’re pressured to be doing something useful with every second of your life. In here, every second you’re performing for the cameras. It’s nice to be able to stop.”

I covered a yawn with one hand and reached for my coffee. “At least you get regular rest periods. I can’t give you details, but some people were keeping me up last night.”

She frowned. “Would you rather I let you go?”

The frown was also gratifying. “No, there’s enough I need to monitor right now anyway. Just keep your activities within regular business hours. That’ll make you a model participant in my book.”

“I’ll try.” She settled onto her bed and stretched her arms over her head, bending back the wrists. Then she asked, abruptly, “Do you have a favorite guest?”

“I’m not supposed to pick favorites. I won’t name names, but my least favorite is someone who starts whistling when they’re trying to concentrate. I always get the tune stuck in my head.”

“I’d hate that too.” She dropped her arms down and rested her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t seem fair. You get to see all of us, and I don’t get to see you.”

“It’s for the best that you can’t.” I shifted in my chair where I was sitting cross-legged in sweatpants I’d been wearing for three days straight. “I don’t have to be presentable to anyone back here. My hair’s a mess.”

She shrugged. “It would be nice to see any new face. Can you tell me what you look like?”

“Better not.” There weren’t any rules against that either – no one would’ve thought we needed them. But I wasn’t there to be looked at. “Just… imagine me. Whatever you’d like.”

She thought for a moment and then said, “You look nice.”

“Thank you.”

For the next month, I watched from my hundreds of cameras and listened through my hundreds of microphones. I scoured test banks for trivia questions and rearranged the responsive floor plan to build obstacle courses. I beamed everything back to our viewers, and the network compiled data to send back. Their demands were predictable. So-and-so is popular; be sure to get close-ups. Contestants X and Y don’t get along. Trap them in a room together with a malfunctioning door. Sometimes the instructions were specific, but often they just told me what the audience wanted. By now, I knew how to get it.

While I did that, I watched Gloria. She was average, as these things go. She lasted longer than half the participants in a challenge where I cranked the temperature lower and lower. Then she flopped when asked to identify the fake headline in a social media feed. She nodded to cameras with a half-smile, and although she could be doing it for the viewers, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing it for me.

She stayed kinder than I expected, even as everyone dropped the niceties and the game turned into a bloodbath of votes and eliminations. I’m not usually wrong reading people. I have so much to go on.

She kept talking to me late at night. Participants are promised some privacy in their bunks. (If they read their contracts line by line they know better. Viewers get very interested whenever a player invites someone else in. That was happening in two locations, so it was easy to cover up my own indiscretions.)

“Do you know what’s happening back home?

“Only what the network sends me.” I didn’t miss it. Participants signed up for fame or money, but escape would work as well. At least locked in this house, the problems weren’t real. You knew the challenges were fake, and everyone went to bed with a full stomach at the end of the day. It’s not a bad gig, really.

“I don’t know how my mother’s doing.” She was staring at the ceiling instead of making virtual eye contact with me. “Sometimes I’m afraid I won’t get back in time. It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks.”

She didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. They were encouraged to think out loud for the cameras.

Nine weeks into this round of the game, she was in trouble. We didn’t talk about it. I was supposed to be her refuge from all that. Ridiculous, if you think about it, but we all have our illusions. She didn’t have access to viewer opinion polls or other players’ confessions, but I could tell from the way she held herself that she knew. If she didn’t win this week’s challenge, she was gone.

That shouldn’t have bothered me. I don’t pick favorites. Players come and go and nothing changes. Except…

I used to talk to my coworkers’ empty chairs to hear my own voice. I erased crosswords and started them again. The job without Gloria would be… boring. I didn’t want to look across all my monitors and not see her there.

I’ve never related to the viewers who root for their favorite contestant. This was different. They’re behind a screen watching the edited version of a woman from miles away, a woman who doesn’t even know they exist. I knew her. She knew me.

She didn’t ask for my help. I’d like to imagine she respected my integrity or didn’t want to risk my job, but I saw the way she threw herself into trying to shore up shaky alliances, too little too late. She’d rather rely on herself. I might be the all-seeing eye and the voice in her ear when she went to sleep, but when it comes to playing the game, no one pays attention to the help.

My inbox dinged. The network was responding to my latest batch of video. I skimmed through it: suggestions for contrived scenarios to start people fighting, instructions to let the showers break down, standard stuff. Then, at the end: We need new topics for this week’s trivia challenge. Any ideas?

The challenges got repetitive after a while. Production was always looking for suggestions. I opened a reply, started typing, and then paused.

I could help. No one would know. Gloria would be here, with me, for another week.

It wouldn’t be my first case of workplace dishonesty. I’d fibbed on timesheets and extended my breaks like everyone has. I’d kept my mouth shut and let coworkers take the fall for my mistakes. This was interference with the outcome of the show, though. I could get fired.

Who was going to catch me? Me?

I typed, What about fairy tales?

Gloria was exultant. She won the trivia challenge, securing her place for the week and spurring a nasty double cross in an alliance that had been planning on forcing her out. She paced back and forth in her room, rehashing her triumph. I responded with customer service hmms. It didn’t occur to her that I might be behind the convenient choice of topics. Which was fine. If she realized, she might let it slip, or expect more favors, and I’d risked enough already. It was fine that I was everywhere controlling everything and she still acted like she had no idea. People like her are the same everywhere. They assume the world runs itself.

“If I win next week’s challenge and Richard and Destiny stay on bad terms, I have a chance,” she said. “I could win.”

I didn’t say much in response. Maybe she thought I was being careful not to spill any show secrets, or maybe to her I was just another audience member witnessing her triumph. I’d had so much time to watch and still had trouble reading her.

I’m not omniscient, is the point. I never had the power to read her mind or control her or even save her in the end. I was only ever buying time.

I’d built a habit of letting emails pile up and answering them when I felt like it, but now I never closed my inbox. I took my phone with me on bathroom breaks or rare trips outside. Of course, if the network found out what I’d done, they might not bother with professional communication. They might send a crew in with no notice to throw me out on my ass.

That dampened my enthusiasm as Gloria dreamed of making the final three. Household malfunctions rose. I got jumpy. Anna asked me a question, and I froze, because for a moment I thought I’d been caught. A spam email snuck through my filter, and I spilled my energy drink all over the keyboard when I heard the notification. I wanted to scream through the intercoms, Don’t you know what I can do? What I’ve already done? You don’t even know that I’m here.

Instead I turned the heat up two degrees and reassured Anna that she’d buttoned up her dress correctly.

In the end, I didn’t get caught. The shutdown order came for different reasons. Mateo, a fan favorite, had settled into a committed relationship. The move wasn’t popular with viewers. They liked him as a heartbreaker with someone else in his bunk every night. I don’t get the appeal, but ratings are ratings.

End the game, wipe their memories, and start over, the message said, with a list of new parameters to try. Just like the last four times I got this email. Neurotech sure has expanded the boundaries of reality programming.

Like I said, I’ve got horror stories.

I flicked through the changes. The bulk were new living arrangements and challenges tailored to different participants’ skills. The true appeal was more pathos for viewers to sigh over, as former lovers betrayed each other and friends met again as strangers. They eat it up so much I wonder if the game will ever end.

Maybe I should be happy about that. It’s job security.

I could see Gloria out of camera 43. She was selecting a meal packet and humming to herself. I wanted to warn her, to say that every time before this she’d become someone shut off or brittle or cruel, and that I liked her better this way. I wanted to tell her it’d been thirteen months since she saw her mother, not two. I wanted to ask if she had any idea. But I signed a contract too.

Instead I waited until after lights out and said, “Let me show you something.”

Gloria trusted me enough by now that she waited until I’d directed her to a blank stretch of wall to ask, “Why did you bring me here?”

“If you compare the interior to the outside of the house, this can’t be an exterior wall. There’s too much space. You didn’t notice?”

“I didn’t.”

She did in three of the other versions. Gloria had rarely been a model participant. She’d explored more, discovered more, when she wasn’t talking to me. “When people do, I tell them it’s not part of the game. It’s where we keep some of the machinery used to run the facilities.”

“What’s really on the other side?”

“Me.”

She started at that, looking from the camera to the wall and back again, like she assumed I lived in the fiber optics. “You’re there?”

“In my own set of apartments. It’s roomy now that I’m the only one. There’s a side door, so I even get a little sun sometimes. There’s a lot of machinery back here with me, though. We try not to lie when we can tell part of the truth. Makes it easier to keep track of everything.”

She reached out and presses her hand to the chipped paint of the wall. “You were always right here.”

“Hang on, I’m at a different terminal.” I hopped out of my chair and squeezed myself between my desk and the one that used to belong to Paulo before the last round of cutbacks. “Now I’m right there.” I was simplifying things, of course. There was at least a foot of wires and paneling between us, but it was still the closest we’d ever been. I reached out to press my hand to the wall and imagined the touch of another human’s skin against my own.

This was my last chance to tell the truth. I could reveal everything, lead her to the emergency exit only I knew about, and invite her to run away with me to… what? We were both there because we needed something, and the world won’t give you anything for free. In this house, blasphemy or not, I was basically God. I could steer her away from danger. I could construct a narrative. Outside, I couldn’t create a happy ending for either of us.

From what I knew of Gloria Martina Sosa, the many possible Gloria Martina Sosas who had walked under this roof, she would hate me for keeping this from her.

It was a good thing she didn’t know me at all.

“Why did you decide to tell me now?” she asked.

There were a lot of things I could have said. Because this version of you dies tomorrow. Because there are bigger rules I won’t break, and I want to believe I’m a person who would break some of them, for you. Because I’m saying goodbye, and you don’t even know it.

“Because we’re getting close to the end now,” I said. “You’ll be too busy soon to think about me.”

“It’s hard to not think about you when you’re watching all the time. Especially now that I know exactly where you are.” She ran her fingers across the paint before pulling away. “Maybe when this is over I’ll be able to see you face to face.”

I couldn’t hesitate. If I hesitated, she might guess something is wrong, and my entire job relied on returning polished answers with mechanical precision. “That would be nice.” I was using my work voice, all business. “You should get back to bed before anyone wonders why you’re up.”

She smiled – at the wall rather than the camera. She might have been looking toward me, but that means she didn’t meet my eyes. “Are you worried about my beauty sleep?”

“Rest is important,” I said. “I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I’m rooting for you.”

Thanks to my instructions, she made it back without running into anyone, turning corners and ducking into rooms without a word of protest. Once I delivered her to her room, she dimmed the lights and slipped into bed to while away the last few hours this version of her would ever see.

I watched her fall asleep, and I didn’t say a word.

Maybe next time.

They were called in for a medical check-up the next morning. “Is this a challenge?” Gloria asked while getting dressed.

“No,” I said. “It’s perfectly normal.” The producers would be pleased. I’d never sounded less human.

Teardown procedure between rounds was always the same. I filled out the standard paperwork and finished packaging the last days of footage to be shipped back to the editors. My email inbox could be thinned out. I’d gotten practiced, and none of the tasks took long. Then it was just me, the empty house, and Gloria’s ghost roaming the silent halls.

If you look at it right, I’m doing her a favor. Outside the house, the monsters are so much worse than me. People want to be you, or have you, and they’ll eat you alive. People who grew up like me would understand. They might even ask me to do the same for them.

I don’t know why I’m bothering to justify myself. My job is to watch and record, not to editorialize. There’s no reason for me to sit down in front of the camera and say, My name is Cal, and there’s nothing I could have done. But I guess I’ve caught the narrative bug after watching everyone else spin out their stories, because here I am making my recording. Wishing there was someone on the other side of the screen to turn me into someone new.

I have no illusions that I would be an audience favorite. That’s never been my role.

An email with the finalized set-up for round six arrived in my inbox, and I scanned it so I’d be prepared. There will be no chocolates next time. Every round, the producers try something different. But I will say hello, and maybe this time she will say it back.

They come to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They come with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They come with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I come with nothing. I was already here.

#tumblr is not the ideal place to read 6.5k words but what can you do #kat writes

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lordofmelancholy · 2 days ago

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Arcane Silent Frontiers: Isha and Jinx's Relationship

Alright! Time for something new! The (tragic) Relationship between Isha and Jinx in Silent Frontiers

Now for those who read This (if you haven't go read it), you might have notice that I put down one of the inspirations for Isha's character in SF as not only just Ellie from The Last of Us but also Joel as well.

This is because, both Isha and Jinx take the "Joel" role in this AU; which is basically a fancy way of stating that both of them have major attachment issues stemming from trauma and apparent abandonment. Because of this, both Isha and Jinx actually don't get along to each other as quickly as they do in the show. The need to Bond is there, but Isha often finds it hard to gain attachments towards people following immense heartbreak in her life, and is in many ways similar to Jinx in this notion. However what should bring them together, instead makes it hard for them to do so. There's a pull of course that neither can understand, but it's a pull that tends to lead them both at the current time to face first into a wall. They have to break that wall and it's a process. Its literally has to build up. But with every build up, there can be an explosion which with Isha and Jinx happens.

Thus then comes the Isha (ellie) and Jinx (Joel) parallel Remember This Scene, in the first TLOU

Well. . .Jinx and Isha basically go through the same thing Despite the attachment issues, throughout the story of SF, Isha does end up getting close to Jinx much like she does in the show. This however is where it gets complicated for JINX because Jinx's whole thing IS the fear of getting close to someone in a world that tends to take them away too easy.

The only one she's EVER close to is Ekko. He's been her rock since they were kids. But anyone else doesn't get as close easily and it's just how she's been for years.

She's been so stuck in her ways that It honestly scared her how quickly she got attached to Isha she got and as a result her first instinct is to push away.

To not only protect others, but herself.

Jinx's biggest breaker in this whole thing was the fact that Isha once accidentally called her mama by mistake and Jinx's first instinct was to fear the word because she never expected it to make her feel good. It was what started the OG argument (similar to the one Joel and Ellie got into in the first game) and what had caused a small rift to form between the two of them, because Isha tried to get close but Jinx pushed back and thus Isha basically "gave up"

which she was actually starting to NOT DO because of Jinx.

Jinx ends up of course beating herself up over it later on down the line because she realizes how stupid she's actually been about all this. Realizing that Ekko was right, that everyone was right and even Isha was right about a lot of stuff. But her stupidity this time caused her to go and "Jinx" it cause it's obvious that Isha is distancing herself from JINX now and it's not the other way around

When what happens with Isha happens (basically what caused the events of the fic: Alone in this Platinum Field which can be found there in the link), Jinx is distraught over it because not only could she possibly loose Isha, but she'll also loose Isha at a point in time where there's a big chance that Isha hates her.

But the issue is, is even now Isha doesn't hate Jinx. And that's the sad part. Made even more sad with the fact that She never did, nor does she think she ever could

It's just that Isha's hurt

She's hurt because in the process of pushing her away, Jinx had also said things that just got Isha the wrong way

Because as we all know when Jinx is scared, Jinx can't shut up for shit and has to put her foot in her mouth.

Jinx never really leaves her side shortly after what happened. The issue with the field was something she couldn't avoid, it sucked but she couldn't. But after that she never strays too far. She's always close by. Always within reach. But while part of it is her just being observant, there's also another reason as to why.

She keeps trying to apologize

Every once in a while, sometimes in the dead of night, while everyone is asleep or at least trying to sleep. You could often hear whispers. Hushed sounds. And it's Jinx trying to talk to her. Trying to apologize. Shes trying to apologize because the thought that Isha is going to die with the thought of Jinx not caring in her head absolutely terrifies Jinx to no end now.

So every once in a while you'd hear a hushed apology. "'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it".

And sometimes when Isha's awake, at least long enough to actually hear those words somewhat, it would often seem like she would jump at the opportunity to accept it. To put it all behind them and forget about it all. But then she would get a look in her eye, as if she was remembering what exactly got said to her.

Playing it all back in her head.

and then Jinx would notice the sullen look. As if even now Isha couldn't bring herself even to forget. Or to forgive

But Jinx keeps trying to apologize.

And that's the sad part really in all this.

But what somehow makes it even worse. If that was even possible to begin with. Is the fact, that that's not the only thing Jinx tries to do. What she always seems to try despite it never working in the end.

She thinks the others don't hear her when she say's it. But they do. They always do. And it breaks their hearts to hear how desperate she sounds when she asks Isha to call her Mama once more.

Because they know the odds are slim now that she ever will. Not after everything.

But Jinx need's to hear her say it. She wants Isha to say it. Mouth it. Sign it. Garble Anything. Now more then anything

She doesn't care how Isha says it because at least if she does. At least if this is does turn out to be the end, Jinx can at least know and hold on to the warm feeling that Isha calling her Mama made her. Can hold on to that warmth at least for a while, just a little. Just long enough to help her cope with the fact that she may never get to hear it again if this truly is the end.

She hopes its not.

God she hopes its not

Because she still needs to make up for what she did.

So she's keep trying. As long as it takes. However long both her and Isha have left.

She knows she sounds selfish. Wanting Isha to say it now when there's a chance this might all be it. To say it now after pushing her away the way that she did. She knows it sounds selfish. Sounds cruel

She knows it probably is in some way. But its not. Really its not She's not being selfish nor is she trying to be cruel. Not really anyways. She just finally has come to accept something. Just a little too late. Just a little too much at the wrong time

But

"Just once. That's all. Call me mama again. Please just say it. Just once, that's all. You can say it. I wont be mad I promise…I won't just…-"

"Please?"

____

(Also as a added bonus in pain. Imagine Isha referring to Ekko as Papa by mistake when they make it back to the compound. They get her all fixed up for the time being and her being slightly drugged up for the pain, accidentally refers to Ekko as papa when he shows up to see them. Imagine being worried that she "did it again" and that she's going to be rejected by Ekko just like she was by Jinx. Imagine her being terrified of the potential rejection. Jinx did it, what's really stopping Ekko from doing it as well)

#arcane #ekko #ekko league of legends #ekko lol #jinx and ekko #ekko arcane #ekkojinx #jinx #ekko x jinx #timebomb #isha arcane #Isha and jinx #jinx and isha #arcane isha #jinx arcane #Arcane au #Arcane Silent Frontiers #Timebomb family

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1dcommunityficrecs · 2 days ago

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Rec List: Letter Writing Fics!

There's something so romantic about writing letters -- even when they aren't love letters! The idea of taking the time and effort to put pen to paper, to share your thoughts and feelings with someone else, to drop them into a mailbox and wait (im)patiently for their response... poetry. Even with modern emails -- they may not inherently be quite as dreamy, but you can still capture a lot of the same energy and vulnerability and connection.

Here are ten fics focusing on written communication, mostly physical letters but some diaries or online communication as well. We've got a lot of historical stories, a lot of long-distance, and SO much pining. Read, kudos, comment, reblog, follow, subscribe -- and get ready for the next category!

Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by SadaVeniren/@sadaveniren (42495, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Omega Prince Harry writes letters to Prince Ludwig to whom he'd been promised to marry since birth, while he gets to know Louis, a simple worker from the neighbouring kingdom. The same, he's supposed to marry the prince of for a truce

Reccer says: the double/secret identity always gets me. also they building of their relationship while also trying to keep key parts of them hidden

Just Another Card Again by tippitytap/@tippitytap (3775, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Dear reader, this is a story of Harry and Louis falling in love through greeting cards and being neighbours. With love, Clifford

Reccer says: So so cute and the links to the cards are such a nice touch.

Dirty Diana by yeah_alright/@uhoh-but-yeah-alright (3042, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry writes to his confidante Diana every day for a month about all his Louis fantasies.

Reccer says: Really creative, hot, and so funny! Filled with smutty ideas but the tone is light and fun - such a great combo! The juxtaposition of Harry's dirty thoughts and his sweet way of communicating with Diana made me giggle throughout the fic

adjudication by barchive/@bottomlinsons (75000, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry has fallen for his betrothed through letters she written him over the years, but when he finally arrives to marry her, he learns things aren't what he has believed

Reccer says: It's so well crafted. The plotting and pacing are excellent and the use of miscommunication is really well done. Plus there's some very swoonworthy scenes!

all the sins you didn’t have by Brooklyn_Babylon/@twopoppies (99522, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post Warnings: A sexual assault, not going all the way

It’s 1880, and premier danseur Harry Styles is running out of time. At twenty-five, he’s fast becoming too old for the lecherous benefactors who frequent The Paris Opera Ballet’s infamous backstage, and the only way to ensure he isn’t left penniless or rotting away in a brothel is to secure a permanent patron. Enter Lord Louis Tomlinson: wealthy, young, handsome. And, unfortunately, a notorious rake.

Reccer says: Everything is amazing -- the theme, the location, the era, the atmosphere. And it’s wonderfully written. I love the gorgeous sensory details, and how the author uses those to cast light on the characters’ hidden emotions.

No One Like You by my own spark/@myownsparknow (19932, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

Reccer says: I love the nerdy art-historical discoveries!

Blue Moon by Aquietlarrie/@aquietlarrie (152907, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

it’s the late 50’s. times are ‘simple’. rock n roll is in full swing. vinyl, music and dancing are the primary ways of entertaining yourself, and in a time where loving someone of the same sex is illegal, two strangers catch each other’s eyes across a dancefloor and do just that. over the span of a year and in between two cities, harry and louis happen to find each other at just the right time.

Reccer says: I thought this was SO well-researched—the 50s vibes are immaculate.

Lonely Cards Club by Hellolovers13/@hellolovers13 (25837, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson ) – fic post

Harry's life in Cardiff is rather uneventful. Until he receives a strange Christmas postcard. It gets even stranger when he finds another one the next day. 💌

Reccer says: This fic is so sweet! Just the perfect bit of gentle cheer, love, and mystery.

miles away from seeing you by LiveLaughLoveLarry/@loveislarryislove (1700, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry is studying abroad in New Zealand, but he keeps in close communication with his long-term boyfriend back in England.

Reccer says: This fic is told entirely through social media posts, texts, emails, etc, which is a super cool medium! It's very sweet feeling their connection from so far apart.

Dearest Gemma (I fell in love) by Thingsicant (1300, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry writes his sister letters as he meets, falls in love with, and courts a handsome blacksmith.

Reccer says: Harry's ups and downs of emotion make me laugh, and the surprise Louis has been working on is so sweet.

#rec list #category 25 #letter writing #one direction #harry styles #liam payne #niall horan #louis tomlinson #zayn malik #1dficvillage #1dsource #allwaswell16 #alwaysxlarrie #hlficlibrary #hlcreators #ficsfor4am #tracksintheam #trackinghome

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fandomgeeknerd · 5 hours ago

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ok so there's a lot of words and thoughts so it's under the spoiler

so i imagine the movie like this

the start: stone is very sad and depressed we see mourning and grief and somewhere along the way he thinks abt what he could have done to prevent it, the main thing that he remembers is sonic and his friends and thinks if he never let them into the crab this would have never happened and so plots revenge against them bc Gerlad is already dead and cut to stone building metal sonic.

cut to sonic at the end of the movie, we get to re-see sonic getting ambushed by the metal sonics and amy saving him, they talk obviously and tbh i didn't think abt anything right here so lets skip a bit

the middle: stone's causing chaos cus at this point they figured out it was stone (i was thinking something along the lines of tails going to check up on stone and inadvertently figures out stone's the villain and sneaks out of the newly repaired crab in horror but um spoiler alert stone saw tails figuring out he's the villain but idk). They have a mini battle that leaves stone retreating, after that but not right after shadow comes back with news that robotnik is alive and that we have to save him and they do, at the same time maddie decides to take matters into her own hands to figure out why he's doing this and also goes over to check on agent stone and tldr stone wants revenge bc sonic and his friends got the love of his life killed and he knows the doctor sacrificed himself but he still wants revenge and maddie is able to go home safe and sound bc she's good at acting normal

before the end: after making sure robotnik is ok they tell him stone is going crazy and robotnik doesn't believe them at first until they share stories and proof and then robotnik is like "oh shit! we gotta stop this!" (no one has brought up that he's in love with robotnik and the doctor thinks stone wants revenge bc he's his boss not bc he loves him) and there's a cool getting ready and prepared montage with tom, maddie, sonic, shadow, amy, tails, knuckles and robotnik

the end: there's not really much to it just as they see each other when getting ready to fight (i haven't thought much abt the 'how is stone gonna get revenge' aspect) stone sees robotnik and gets more angry bc he thinks they somehow cloned robotnik to get him to calm down but he sees right through it (even tho stone's completely wrong). They fight and he FINALLY lets slip (in front of the real robotnik mind you) that he's doing this bc they killed his doctor the love of his life AND HOW DARE THEY MAKE A CHEAP IMATATION, robotnik doesn't have time to process that stone loves him bc they keep fighting, eventually it looks like sonic and the gang won't win until robotnik makes it very clear that it's him the REAL him and that he's ALIVE (i was thinking something only the real robotnik and stone would know) and everything stops and a tearful but happy reunion ensues and the badniks make the heart eyes at them, stone says sorry to everyone and robotnik, robotnik says sorry and he loves stone too. Everything returns to normal with shadow beginning to live with stone and the doctor and at this point the doctor and stone are tired, and they want to stop going after sonic and his friends and they do and get to be slightly friends with them and tom and maddie and yayyyyy happy ending

the post credit scene: if there's other sonic villains besides robotnik one of them appear with sinister music in tow

i believe this would be the best course of action for sonic 4 it just feels like it goes full circle and snice apparently, they're willing to go full mcu for the sonic movie franchise i've heard this'll be great to do

SEGA AND PARAMOUNT

MAKE AGENT STONE THE BIG BAD OF SONIC 4

AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#stobotnik #agent stone #sonic movie 4 #sonic 4 #don't mind me just perpetuating this theory/pos #i have the whole movie in mind already if you guys are interested #< prev tags #feel free to point out anything like plot holes or anything of the sort i've only gone this far into thinking abt it but i feel like i cove #the main points

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miss0atae · 2 days ago

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There are two things that were the biggest issues Yotha was dealing with before meeting Gun: first, it was the deep hurt he got from his parents' breakup that made him long for the time his family was one and then the distorted version it gave him about what is love and how you're supposed to feel it or live with it.

Despite him, having good relationship with his brothers as they all care about one another, Yotha's view on what is a family is filled with nostalgia. His parents didn't find a way of co-parenting well so they could keep a positive impact on the whole family. It seems Yotha's father stayed present and care about his sons a lot. We could see that in the small scene where they were together and he asked them questions about their life and laughing with them.

However, things were different with their mother. I believe there is nothing wrong with prioritizing your well-being and if you need a break up for that, it's not impossible to establish the right level and type of contact necessary to maintain effective co-parenting. That's where she failed. She doesn't really understand or know her sons. She was absent in their life after the breakup. She thought Faifa could drink milk, she didn't keep contact with Yotha when it was needed and we have no idea what she did to Newton. The fact she wants to reconnect isn't wrong, but that's the way she is doing that may not be right. She will need to build the trust again.

As for Yotha, being with Gun's loving family may give him another chance. It may also help him reconnect with his mom. I'm not saying you have to be close to your biological family. It's nice if you are, but sometimes a found family can bring you what you're looking for. I believe that's what Gun's family could be to Yotha. Only by having, love and acceptance, he could grow and overcome the difficulties he experienced in his relationship with his mom. As much as I believe you don't need to be close to your parents to have a great life, the story next episode is set to mend the relationship between Yotha and his mom.

#bl series #bl drama #thai series #thai bl #my thoughts #perfect 10 liners #perfect 10 liners the series #episode 15 #yothagun #it's interesting to see what is the meaning of family for each character #I could have made a better explanation so you only get the short version

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salemssimblr · 2 months ago

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I like tattoos and wips so have a bit of both ;)

#sims spice #ts4 wip #render wip #wip #suuuuuch an early wip #but I can’t work on it rn and I’m frothy #I had intended to do one spicy render a month this year #clearly I did not #so we’ll end the year with a bang #get it #& maybe try again next year #with all these new ocs I can’t stop making lmfao #and ofc more Ariss and Vasily #my faves #I have a lot of scenes to build for their story #but I’m intent on sharing the first of it next year #wow I’m rambling #Salem rambles #dl

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star-lights-up · 18 days ago

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I'm having thoughts again (it's a very dangerous thing, thinking is): Cherik matilda au, with Jean as matilda. Honestly, it'd probably be a jean-centric fic, background cherik, because i mean miss honey doesn't have a love interest in the original lol. (Oh, right, Charles = miss honey. Erik also kind of = miss honey. they're sharing the role.)

ALSO i'm basing this on the book and the original movie, not the musical and musical movies. I love all incarnations of matilda but I am too tired to work in the whole premonition story thing.

So Jean is just chilling. She's like two years old and already she can cook and clean and pretty much be self sufficient. Her parents are self-absorbed assholes who don't really pay her any mind, and her brother is a little shit who's older than her and never home anyways.

She goes to the library, and she reads. She expands her horizons. She learns. She develops a yearning to see the world outside of her lonely little life -- she may be self-sufficient, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want any friends.

Now, when she's six, she tells her parents that she really should've started school already, and her dad makes a deal with this terrifying man to send her off to Hellfire Elementary (sounds like a great place for kids, amiright?)

There she meets Ororo, who's funny and nice, and then there's Logan, this older kid who's absolutely TERRIFYING (at least he thinks he is, jean's calling his bs). He warns them about the headmaster -- Shaw. The truly terrifying one.

Shaw in this isn't really the kevin bacon shaw. He's like if shaw lost his fucking marbles and became a really buff lunatic. He throws a girl wearing her hair in pigtails over the fence. It's insane.

Then Jean goes to her class. The first years have two teachers -- Mr. Lehnsherr and Mr. Xavier, who tells them just to call him Charles as long as Shaw's not around.

The classroom is kind of amazing. They've got art by students hanging everywhere and cute little posters and vases of wildflowers, the doors opened to the school grounds and filtering in the last of the warm summer air. To Jean, it feels magical. She's finally at school. She finally feels like she's going to get to be in the world. She chats with Ororo and some kid named Scott before the bell rings.

(Now for teaching duo cherik! I'm thinking for them, this is an established relationship fic. )

They've both been hurt by shaw (more on that later) to the point where they've become more muted versions of their personalities.

Charles is kind, as he always is, but in this he's very soft-spoken and stuff. Even as he smiles warmly at the kids, checking on the girl with the pigtails, Jean notices this deep sadness in his eyes.

And then there's Erik. He's quiet, very matter-of-fact when he does speak up, methodical. He's very gentle with all of the children, though, and Jean sees him tracking Charles with his eyes, as though he's sure something awful will happen to him as soon as he lets him out of his sight. Again, his eyes hold some deep sadness, some hidden pain.

As the lessons begin, they're shocked by Jean. Her reading, her writing. Her incredible math abilities.

( found this cute little line from the original book, and i wanted to adapt it (very erik-core):

"It's not fair," Ororo says, "How can she do it and we can't?"

"Don't worry, Ororo, you'll soon catch up," Mr. Lehnsherr says, lying through his teeth. )

After class is over, Charles wants to talk to Shaw, try and get Jean in a more advanced grade. Erik doesn't want him to go. They go together, and Shaw pretty much yells at them and threatens them until they leave.

They decide to think of another way to go -- they can't have jean just sitting in class, learning how to spell r-a-t when she's read shakespeare already.

Back at home, for another week or so, Jean's life continues much the same as it always does. Her parents: the assholes. Then her father takes her and her brother into work one day, telling his son he needs to learn the family trade. Jean's just there.

He shows them all sorts of illegal things he does to the cars before he sells them -- sawdust in the engine, running the miles backwards until the car seems barely used. It's not legal. Worse, it's not safe.

Jean speaks out and gets yelled at.

So she finds some superglue and glues his stupid hat to his head the next day. And so starts her rebellion.

Charles and Erik decide that perhaps it's best to speak to Jean's parents directly. Cue creepy CGI cherik from the last stand. No, no, I'm kidding. They just show up there, try to talk to the greys, who really aren't having it, and before they leave Erik sneaks a book behind a coat rack, Jean smiling at him from where she's hidden on the stairwell, having listened to the whole thing.

Jean plays another prank on her parents for treating her teachers so bad (blabbermouth parrot in the chimney. Mrs. Grey is convinced they've got a ghost).

Meanwhile, at school, Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr give her all these workbooks with more difficult math and language and science, apologizing that they can't instruct her directly or get her into a more advanced class but promising to help if she has any questions (she doesn't).

Anyways. Then we get to the interesting part.

It's been a while, and Jean's seen the horrors of Shaw. He made a boy eat a whole cake in front of the school. he throws kids out windows. And there's this terrible thing called the chokey.

Shaw comes into their classroom to teach his monthly class -- Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr quickly hiding all the art and decorations in the room.

Ororo sneaks a newt into shaw's water. Pandemonium breaks out. Shaw starts targeting poor scott, of all people, who's not capable of breaking a rule.

Something in Jean snaps. And the glass tips over, sending the newt right onto shaw and shaw right out of their classroom.

After class, she explains it to Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr. She shows them what she can do. With just a little bit of anger, she can push the glass over.

The two teachers glance at each other (after being quite shocked, of course), then Charles asks if she'd like to have tea, and talk about this more, if her parents wouldn't mind.

Jean knows that they most certainly don't care where she is, and agrees.

Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr bring her to a small cottage, surrounded by wildflowers. The walls are whitewashed. There are two little windows. Charles spreads cheap margarine on the toast. Mr. Lehnsherr pulls two chipped mugs out -- there doesn't appear to be a third. The kitchen is just a shelf, really, with a little portable stove.

Charles asks Jean if she'd be willing to get them some water from the well out back. She has a wonderful time doing so, never having drawn from a well before.

She and Charles have tea and toast, sitting on the crates that are the only furniture in the whole of the tiny cottage. Mr. Lehnsherr sits cross-legged on the floor, leaning against Charles's crate a little and not eating or drinking anything.

Jean, as a small child -- because, yes, no matter how smart and independent she is, she's still a small child -- asks a few questions that might be a little too personal, inquiring about just how poor their salaries are to live like this.

"Why shouldn't you ask?" Charles says, after Jean apologizes. "You were bound to ask in the end. You are much to bright to not have wondered. Perhaps... Perhaps we even wanted you to ask."

Erik nods his head, saying his solemn voice, "You're our first visitor, after all."

Quietly, a little sadly, Charles begins to tell Jean a story. He once lived in a large brick house in town. His mother passed when he was born, and his father was absent until he died, leaving him in the care of an uncle. The uncle brought with him a ward, Erik.

The uncle was an unkind man. He forced them to work around the clock, doing the household chores and the cooking and anything else he could think of, like they were servants and not young children. He would beat them if they disobeyed -- and even when they didn't.

They managed to go to the teacher's college about forty minutes away when they both turned eighteen. They could've gone to university -- but the evil man wouldn't allow it.

"How did you get away?" Jean asks, equally riveted and in deep sympathy for her kind teachers.

They tell a story of being forced to sign away their salaries to the uncle, since apparently they "owed him thousands" for being just barely fed and clothed for ten years. With the little that they got to keep, it seemed they would never get a place of their own...

But Mr. Lehnsherr, on his early morning walks, stumbled into a small, empty cottage. He went to find out who owned it, and the farmer, after insisting he didn't want to live there, agreed to rent it out for ten pence a month.

Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr (who, at a point, sighed and told Jean just to call him Erik since they're not at school) quietly packed their things, informed the evil man that they'd rented a house, and rushed out the door.

While Jean is happy for their triumph, she's aghast of the idea of the evil man still living in Charles's old home. He says that his father's will was apparently destroyed ("no prizes for guessing who," Jean says, and Erik huffs a laugh) and his uncle produced a piece of paper saying the house was to go to him -- Charles is sure it was counterfeit, but there's nothing he can do.

"He still owns my family property a town over, too," Erik says quietly. "Won in much the same fashion." His hands are balled into fists, his face mournful and angry. He doesn't elaborate, and Jean and Charles are smart enough not to push.

Jean asks who the evil man is.

With a glance at his partner, Charles says the name "Shaw."

After the initial shock, the conversation changes, and Jean eventually excuses herself to go home. Charles and Erik apologize for keeping her so late, walking her to the end of the dirt road and back to the sidewalk.

Before they part, Jean asks a few questions: what did Charles's father call him before he passed? Charlie. He hated it. What did charles and Erik's parents call Shaw? Sebastian. His first name. And what did he call their parents? Brian, Charles answers. ...Edie, Erik whispers after a moment of hesitation.

Jean practices her new gift at home. It's not long until she can lift things at whim, pointing at them or staring at them or just thinking of it. She plots. She plans. She practices what's needed for her plots and her plans.

The next time Shaw comes into their classroom, he's startled by the whiteboard chalk floating into the air, beginning to write a message:

Sebastian, give my Charlie back his house. Give him and Erik their wages. Give Erik his land. Then get out of here. If you don't, we will get you. We will get you like you got us. We are watching you, Sebastian.

There is a great commotion as Shaw passes out on the floor in shock. He's carted out of the school. He leaves the brick house within a day. Reportedly, Brian Xavier's will turns up. Charles and Erik move into the great house. Charles is appointed headmaster of the newly christened "Big Friendly School." (Note: this is taken from the source material. I don't think charles would name something after himself in this au tbh). Jean is a welcome visitor anytime.

Then, one day, arriving back from the brick house in the evening, she finds her parents packing up the car. They're moving to spain, they say. Her father has been caught, which they don't say, but is clear.

Jean runs all the way back to Charles and Erik's house. Jean begs them to let her stay -- she doesn't want to leave, and she certainly doesn't want to be trapped with her parents forever in a foreign country.

Charles and Erik come with her back to her house. She takes some adoption papers out, which, funnily enough, she's had since she was tall enough to use the copier at the library! Boss move, Jean.

her parents don't fucking care, so they sign the papers. Charles and Erik are pretty much about to cry. They're parents, now, something they never thought they could be. They hug Jean, something her own parents never did, and don't bother to watch them leave.

Now, they all live in the big brick house together, and it's a house full of reading and laughter and life, all three of them, daughter and her fathers, finding a kind of happiness they never thought they'd be able to have.

and that's it. Why did I spend two hours writing this. 😂

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limeston-lane · 23 hours ago

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This is the last day I have ever lived and today on this final day that I have lived is to tell the word before I day on the last day that I will live and that benign that there is an evil out there looking to take more lives such as mine which is why this is the final day that I will live. It is 100% true.

DAY 1

The begging

It first began when I was looking for cheap games to buy at any yard sales or garage sales where i came across my neighbor, the Robertsons. As I was looking for what they had, I found a copy of Toontown online. I loved Toontown ever since I was a kid. I remember browsing the Disney channels to simply see their commercials and watching youtube videos of other people playthrough of it. My name is Jake, by the way. I always wanted a copy of Toontown but my mom always said no. Because we didn’t have a lot of money. But now I can make my own money now because I have a job. So I took the copy and bought it for two dollars. I made my way back home. I wish I didn’y buy it…

My regerts.

WHen the game started, it was only a black screen with white noise. After messing with the files, it finally began working again. I assumed it was my shit laptop because as I said my family can;t afford much. When it got to the save slots, I noticed that there was already a toon saved. The toon was a black cat with it’s eyes gouged out with hyper realistic blood. The cat looked hyper realistic as if it was a real cat. THe name of the cat was Henry Robertson. I thought that maybe it belonged to someone else beforehand. I made my Toon which was a red dog wearing a white shirt and black pants. But the toon was DEAD!!!! !!!

When I came back home and looked at the copy, I realized something was off. It wasn;t called Toontown Online but rather Toontown Offline. I assumed it was a misprint. But as soon as i opened the box, I noticed that it was a blank dvd with “TTOF” in red. I thought it was trying to spell out Toontown Offline. I booted up my computer and put the disk in. I saw the download wizard and it asked if I am downloading for children, 13 and up, or for the dead. I clicked 13 and up because I was 16. As soon as the downloader began doing it’s work, a pop up screen showed up. It said “warning, may cause death.” I assumed I bought a pirated copy, so I thought it was the developers being funny. I wish I knew otherwise.

The game

The tutorial tom

In the tutorial, there was no tom and no cogs. I thought that it was strange. So i exited the game and rejoined in, but as i did that there was a pop up screen taht said “don’t leave me.” I was confused.

The land was dark and grey. All I heard was sobbing.

As my toon left teh building, i saw a pit in the floor and numerous of people surrounding the pit. Inside was a coffin. The gravestone said “Beloved Son, Henry Robertson.” And inside the casket was the black toon i saw in the toon selection scene!!

I never got any sleep from this. I saw shadows in the corner of my eyes and I never felt safe. I heard the meows and chatter of Toons but there was no one near by. I went back to the Robertsons but it tuned out that thye ;areayd moved! I cehck the grave site and I saw taht the grave was gone as if someone moved it as well!!!

The meows are getting louder and louder and I don’t have enough time

I tried checking on the dark web to find out what to do. But after days later, i got words flashing through my head that siad “FINISH THE GAME!!!”

What ever you do

AND HENRY DIED ON THURSDAY NAD THE FUNERAL WAS ON THURSDAY!!! I WAS THERE!!!

DO NOT PLAY THE GAME!!!!

Only now i reralzied that TTOF stood for THE THURSDAY OF FUNERAL.

This was the last image the game dwonlaoded before I tried to delete the game

The end....?

The scariest part of this story is that...

I think someone should make a toontown creepy pasta. Idk I think it'd be so cool and funny even if it wasn't taken seriously. Like wdyd when you're fighting the major player and he suddenly starts dancing in Morse code and your IP address appears on screen

#if ao3 approves me then i might make a serious one

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roots-symphony · 3 months ago

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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial

#agatha all along #aaa spoilers #txt #i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be #like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything #but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring #i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk #like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence #I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though #and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it #just like jen getting her powers back could have been more #or billy standing up for agatha could have been more #billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too #I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now #like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well #while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode #honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more #and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue #i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just #like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively #and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was #needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead #i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk

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platypusisnotonfire · 19 days ago

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I just found a draft of a WIP I totally forgot I was writing when I was a teenager and it is digging its claws into me

This book is really barely more than Strong Vibes but it had a character that was raised in a more intense and even more soulless version of the peacekeepers in Farscape, like military society, kids trained from basically birth, don’t know their families, but now with Even More Brainwashing and Creepy Cultlike Stuff.

Character doesn’t even have a name or permanent numerical designation, the absolutely only identifying thing they have is a chip in their wrist that is only readable by computers and is used when assigning missions. On every mission you get a different designation number or code name. They are stripped SO completely of any sense of identity.

Character never been on a planet, never even was taught about planets in schooling or taught what a family is or anything even academically. Has no concept of gender because reproduction is completely done in a lab and no biology of any type is ever taught to the grunt soldiers.

Additionally: never heard music.

Turns out they are an absolute musical prodigy the SECOND they are introduced to music

Like off the charts August rush nonsense.

Then proceeds to have crisis after crisis about that because if I wasn’t taught this then it must be heresy, but how could anything so perfect and beautiful not be from god

#I’m certainly not going to finish writing this book but by god I wish someone would #I want to read this story #Vi isn’t even like the main character it’s very much an ensemble cast #but man that whole story line is GRIPPING me #I want to know how their life progresses #also actually READING the draft itself is so painful my teenage writing was SO BAD #but like I remember what I was picturing and conceptualizing at the time and that hypothetical scene is what I get playing in my head #despite the very cringe writing #it’s the Vibes man #there are SO MANY VIBES #I have a lot of visual sets and musical pieces and emotional beats flowing in my head about it #not a lot of words #why am I a writer #like literally fr fr why did writing become my main art form that I’m freaking compelled to do #when 98% of my ideas are visual and music #and I have no idea how to translate that to words #I started writing before I could physically WRITE.#I made little books when I was like 2 and 3 of pictures I cut out of magazines and pasted into paper and stapled together #in some order that my toddler brain understood to be a narrative #like literally why did I gravitate to writing books when words are my least skillful area #maybe because making a tv series is what I’m designed for but don’t have the budget for lol 😂#probably why exodus terminal is my longest running and most likely to be completed project #I’ve written close to a million words in Exodus (most of them not linearly connected)#whereas my MOST completed other work was 50k #most books I’ve started get something like 3k-10k total words #spread over like 5-20 disconnected scenes #before I lose motivation #writing a book series paced like a tv series is really where I’m finally getting traction #also building the exodus terminal video game is getting those Visual Art energies out of my body when I don’t have Word Energy

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afternoonblues · 3 months ago

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finally after almost 2 weeks, i've finished re-watching the raven of inner palace anime, re-read the first 5 volumes of the LN & completed the last and final 2 volumes. thus, concluding the whole series. (now, spoilers ahead!)

this is gonna be a long, a very much selfish ramble because i have so many things to say and so many feelings to feel so i just want to take things slowly and try to as carefully as possible articulate, for me to look back. i will probably talk about many characters along with the ones i had already mentioned during my first read of the vol. 1-5 during march of this year.

first of all, i didn't really expect that the inevitable sadness i felt while reading this story for the first time would resurface again. i almost deluded myself into thinking that i would easily skim through the 5 vols without much hesitations but...i was wrong. every single feelings rose up like steam from the hidden corners of my memory. but not just that, i could also additionally learn more about certain characters like senri, shiki, yozetsu and even eisei.

at certain parts of the story, i felt like i was reading again for the first time, feeling conflicted about certain characters like hakurai, shiki, banka (for example, why would she do that? why would she tell her father about jusetsu's secret even after all that knowing contemplations?) and her brothers but later as more pages were turned and we move along with the story, i understand her perspective and later, in the last two vols, her brothers too. it was serene how everything wrapped up at the end for these four siblings. they sort of became free of as ko jokingly said the curse put by their own father.

because we're on the topic of the ending, i'm gonna be honest, i was genuinely scared because i didn't want it to be too heartwrenching. i don't think i would've loved that feeling in my heart and soul. i am actually genuinely happy with how all the strings tied up at the end. all characters get their sufficient ending, albeit not all so satisfactory as we would all want but still there's not much of a tinge of utter sadness. except for, i guess, shin. but i will write about that a bit later.

the last paragraphs of the ending put such a big smile on my face. it was bittersweet, yes, but still an honest one. nothing out of ordinary and as i would expect of our main two protagonists. i liked that koshun and jusetsu never said any words of eternal parting during their last physical encounter (while they were still young). koshun said, "that's enough for today" after each of them placed their individual go stones. they kept communicating through sumaru, the star raven, the raven's original apparatus. i liked that their one common connection was the game of go. you know, i was washing my face this afternoon after finishing the final volume and realized something.

the go stones are black and white. remember how koshun said something along the lines - the moon has both shade and light. but koshun and jusetsu is both shade and light as well. they're not just two things respectively. both of them are inevitably a single thing - the moon. two halves of single entity. go stones are black and white. the moon too is both black and white, when in shade and when in light. therefore, this playing of go is the only thing that keeps them as one. this is that auspicious thing of their that they carry while on this journey of a relationship they have, regardless of how vast and distant it might be. i just...couldn't stop thinking about it. i really don't know if this is what it is supposed to mean but it is simply just my wishful interpretation. i will not enforce this theory upon anyone to agree with me.

i'm just glad that the hope and perhaps a dream that koshun had which is them still playing go even when they're elderly came true, after all. especially when he was not the emperor anymore and tied down by the shackles of the imperial ground. at the end of their lives, they were finally free. perhaps in next lives, they will become more closer and nothing will seperate them.

i was also glad that the story simply didn't end with jusetsu becoming free of the raven. i was worried that she would end up becoming a lone wanderer and go onto living a solitary life without at least a few people she made meaningful connections with. the absolute delight for me was when i read how not just onkei and tankai but jiujiu herself ending up tagging along with jusetsu on her path in becoming a sea merchant under the teachings of chitoku, kajo's father. i liked it very much when jiujiu was so adamant at joining her niangniang when she was embarking on the journey to find the other half of raven at je island. jiujiu knew that if she didn't, she would never be able to see her again. so good job on that, jiujiu!

as for tankai and onkei, i kind of expected them to tag along with jusetsu even when she would be free of all the shackles. this part was very much clear to me during the golden goblet chapter, involving tankai. the air changed after that time. the perfect found family to ever exist, i would say.

also the development of onkei's emotional openness with jusetsu was a nice thing to watch. he was practically distraught when jusetsu's soul drifted away. his realisation that at time of her imminent danger, he couldn't do anything. this never changed. he became overly conscious with the outmost safety and well being of jusetsu. things shifted in him after this incident and it continued till the end of the story. his feelings reflected more on his face and he became more open to talk and not just guard her out of liability. i think tankai remained almost the same. the only thing was that he was more honest and straightforward with jusetsu. his dynamic with jiujiu balanced out the reserved nature of both jusetsu and onkei, creating the perfect equilibrium.

as for kajo, i also believe that her ending was perfect too. that last encounter between kajo and jusetsu though....man, i teared up. also our girl told kajo that her father keeps her childhood shoes with him as an auspicious item while travelling on sea waters. for kajo who always thought that her father didn't think much of her, this must have come like a whirlwind for her along with the imminent departure of her beloved amei, jusetsu who finally...finally!!!! called her aje as she said her farewell.

oh, kajo, i cried with you. but i was so happy that koshun never abandoned her, which i knew he would never. and, i simply knew no one could've been a better empress than her. her taking in banka's child and adoring him is something i expected from her. even banka herself knows her son was in better hands. kajo has always been one of my favourite female characters in this story. since day one i haven't had a single conflicting thought about her. she was always so dignified and well-defined. truly the best aje jusetsu could ever ask for and i too agree that there's no way she could ever repay her back. it's a good feeling that it was kajo's father who took jusetsu under his wing, therefore, i would like to believe that the thread between kajo and jusetsu never severed or thinned. she sort of became a part of her family, her real amei.

while talking about conflicting, i can never ignore banka. now...look, i love this girl too. her character development was wonderful in my eyes. i was so goddamn happy when she lashed out at her father...which sort of ignited something in both shin and ryo. at this point, i had no idea about ko but oh dear....i had no idea what was in store. now...before that, i have said how i didn't like how even though banka knew what her father was like, she still gave away jusetsu's secret, all while she herself had opened up to jusetsu about her family curse and about her adopted younger sister. it was just...idk i was so taken aback by it all. but then i understood why did what she did. she was simply just a gaslighted seventeen year old girl, daughter of an absentee father, who simply wanted a bit of love and attention from him considering her mother was also no more. and later this also became evident in both shin and ko too as the story progress considering their mother too never looked at them and stayed cooped up in her room till her death. banka was simply...or i would say, the whole saname siblings are such a pitiful bunch. all because of that piece of shit of a father, choyo. he definitely did not get the death he should've deserved.

because what was that fucking logic again? just because jusetsu was not in existence to destroy that dusk jewel when he was having his rendezvous with his own younger sister, yo, who because of the saname clan curse would die eventually at fifteen. shouldn't her death have been resulted from multiple factors like her not knowing why a girl younger than her was adopted? what was this girl's purpose and the supposed curse in their family? also, the fact that not only a naive girl died on behalf of her, she had to also carry a child conceived through an incestuous relationship with choyo himself? we never really get her perspective on what her thoughts were on her relationship with her elder brother, choyo. i'm sure these two things multiplied way too much and became detrimental to her mental health and thus led her to death. where the hell does jusetsu's non-existence self come into play in all these? i have never in my life seen such bullshit logic for someone to literally do anything and everything to hate and kill someone.

and in all these, i would say it was shin suffering the most. the traumatizing truth of his origin just made me stunned. i never in my life expected this to ever happen. i always thought shin to be the better of the three brothers, especially considering how he had his own lil crush on jusetsu. i'm just glad he got to stand up against his father one last time, leave that godforsaken family, regardless of how much ryo resents him internally and live a new life, with a new name given by koshun. and most importantly, jusetsu was the one to console him. she is just such a good listener, a safe haven without any internalized prejudices. (she has done this countless times, with onkei, ishiha, tankai and even koshun.) anyway, i don't really think shin ever healed completely. his was the only ending that made me feel sad and incomplete.

as for ko, i had not much of an inkling of his personality...and considering the rumours that he might become the actual heir to choyo...i was like oh, i have an idea of what he might be like but that is what it is - just an idea, nothing more and nothing less. even with the way his first interaction with shin went as shin landed on ga province kept up with my idea of him but....then things started going downhill. the rumours were exponentially far from the truth and ko was just the most complicated sibling out of all the saname siblings, also afflicted with same things banka and his brothers were which at least i would say in his case, he got his saving through yozetsu jikei.

ko left me perplexed at times. neither did i like him nor did i dislike him. sometimes i feel empathetic towards and other times, i just absolutely don't like the things he says out of that mouth. his mind and his physical self were never in one place. this man was in a battle of his own. even though jikei fills up that father shaped hole in his chest, i still feel conflicted by what happened to jo after being verbally influenced by ko. while he got his saving, another got banished. kind of mirrors to what happened to him and shin, i believe. although for shin, it was self-inflicted out of external influence, kind of like self-exile. keeping his siblings at arm's length but jo's life gets eventually over. at least before ko came into the picture, he was doing something he was genuinely good at.

among the elderly people, i definitely love love love senri and jikei. these two are just so much of a favourite of mine. the best uncles i could ever ask for. i am also very glad that senri came into jusetsu's life at such a turnover point in her life, helping her, guiding her. somehow i feel like reijo and senri stands quite close to each other in jusetsu's heart. senri was the father she never had. plus both jikei and senri were fun characters too. they were elderly and far more experienced with life and the dealings of the world but still they carried a softness in their hearts even after facing their own trials and tribulations. unlike someone we know like choyo. the most detestable elderly character in this whole story. even i think gyoei perspective-wise had some legit reasons to dislike jusetsu. i personally find it unreasonable but i can excuse his extremely old age and long connection with reijo. at least hakurai too had his own redemption arc while fighting the ao god but choyo? nah, that man was just....ugh.

i'm just glad that senri and jusetsu kept communicating through letters even after he retired and she got freed and talked about her to others. jikei too, after his daughter's death, at least now he has a granddaughter to whom he's going to pour all his love that he wish he could give to his late daughter. especially without any regrets this time.

what surprised me the most apart from all these was the raven's unregulated emotional disposition. raven was truly one curious entity. her antics and personality were something i wasn’t anticipating at all. i had always assumed her to be a mysterious character with a heavy presence after all, with all the pretence that was set for thousands of years in association with the winter sovereign and eventually, with the raven consorts…especially contrasting to the menacing ao god. she was, you know what...a fun one actually. kinda badass too. and she is definitely not the bad guy people make her out to be. how sweet that even after the raven left jusetsu's body, she still kept her apparatus, sumaru to jusetsu so that she can communicate with koshun considering shogetsu, the owl's apparatus was there with him.

like that was her little thank you gift. for keeping her trust and freeing her to her true complete self.

oh another one, how can i forget? kosho. man....that whole interaction between jusetsu and kosho when her soul was drifting. ran yu kind of had every right to be scared of her. i too would be the same. i can never fathom how horrendous her obsession was...the curse and shackles she placed for every raven consorts to come after her. jusetsu was right. for kosho, ran yu was her tunnel vision. no lives ever mattered to her other than that.....not even her own. what a twisted character she was. but somehow idk i want a side story of how ran yu and kosho came to such point in their individual lives and then at last merged into one until again getting separated by death, that too in a horrible way.

additionally, i would like to say cho, even though was a minor character in the whole of the story was such a fun addition. cho was such a interesting fellow too, going into anti-existential crisis out of no where while witnessing the gods fight and randomly jumping into the sea all the while senri stood there flabbergasted, i let out a chuckle during that part for real…& then him washing up on the shore, all alive saying how “nah i don’t think the sea god likes me very much” to which senri absolutely disagrees saying how he couldn't have been any more farther away from the truth…what a silly guy. i love him.

shiki was one interesting fellow too. a grey one i would say. i don't have much to say about him because there wasn't much impact of him in my heart. he's just someone fighting his own demons. he has his own justifications for it and i guess, we all have our own too. good thing is at least, the final confrontation between hakurai and shiki let shomei's soul to pass over. i simply felt sympathetic for her more than anything.

random but now i wonder how koshun was like as a father? as he never really had a present relationship with his father and his mother's death has marked him for life. he had both a son from banka and a daughter from koei. i'm sure he was as gentle as ever. i can just not think of him anything other than that.

finally, as for eisei, what a lovely and bittersweet scene it was. the very last encounter we read between jusetsu and eisei where she asked eisei for his handkerchief while he was returning hers because it's auspicious to carry your relative's belonging while at sea. oh man. by this time, i was already sad with kajo & jusetsu's interaction so this just made me feel so devastated. her teasing at the end by calling him, brother or honorable elder brother....

in senri's words, "you never know where and how you're going to meet someone or whether they'll be able to help you. it's so curious how one single person can lead to another, and then another and another..."[....] "it applies to the dead as well."

overall, i would say i am just so exceptionally glad that shirakawa-sensei didn't leave all the loose ends untied for us readers to conjure up events in our heads but rather took it upon herself to close the chapters on each of the characters, regardless of how much painful their individual lives have been. all lives eventually end. we all become something unknown after our death. i'm just happy that our protagonists might not have gotten the usual romantic ending as anyone would expect but i think they had enough love between them for them to suffice till old age. such thoughts were presented by eisei and kojo multiple times during their individual internal monologues throughput the story.

koshun and jusetsu were more than lovers, family and friends, perhaps they were something we are yet to discover, you know.

P. S apparently, ishiha ends up as the winter minister, raven's oracles were from hatan clan after all (how interesting is it not that a raven consort herself, the final one ever taught ishina to read, write and speak who will not continue her legacy more or less) and i'm assuming ayura becomes the ritual coordinator. you can find some easter eggs here. i hope we get more of shirakawa-sensei's works in english. i just really love the way she builds her characters.

( + i would've completed reading the whole series much faster if kali puja & deepavali hasn't fallen inbetween. 2-3 days literally went by because i was busy with festivities responsibilities at the end of october.)

#wow...looks like i had a lot of thoughts #i took such a good decision to read from the start bc it really helped in keeping me emerged in the storyline's ambience #idk why but i have a special bond with stories where not just the protagonists but the supporting chars get their own stage to shine too #especially in stories like this with extensive world building #i will definitely think of some of these characters & scenes from this story #at probably random times of the day #for now...i am just glad i got the closure i was praying for #the last two vols were really crucial...waiting since march was so painful but at least now i'm free!!!#the raven of the inner palace #koukyuu no karasu #p.s waiting for the day when i'll grab all the hardcopies of this series

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