#I have a lot of feelings about it

[anotherdescentintomadness]

TaeMin’s Just Me and You

Another piece for the birthday project over at @taemindiscord on Xitter

[vide0n4sty]

can i write a video essay about rape in horror movies or will i get murdered by the youtube g-ds

[peridoxikal-redux]

Have you played the new chapter of the future saga for xenoverse 2? If so thoughts on it?

Hihi yes I have!! (I've been so distracted with the DQ3 remake that I keep forgetting to respond to everything OTL )

Let me just say... I love being right!

There was just something in that trailer that screamed "Fu isn't himself now" and Ch2 basically confirmed that. He may say he chose to become this way, but its likely him talking under the influence of his own experiments.

Plus, it looks like this version of him with Ultra Supervillain will likely be a future DLC character given I noticed he had a lot of completely new voicelines that you don't hear on his base moveset + things offered with customization. He's certainly much more mocking and even sounds more....pained? At least in the dub?

Of course, this is an arena fighter, somebody's gonna sound hurt eventually, but this seemed like more than normal. Taking into account that Jiren sounded like he was in a fair bit of pain from US throughout the story, I fear US may also be hurting Fu on some level alongside its altering of his personality. (US seems to latch onto aspirations of the user and drive them to extremes.)

As for what Fu saw in the future that would drive him to do this and start distancing himself, my biggest guess is that he saw a bad future. Most likely, judging from a lot of factors, it may either be a future where the cac/player character dies (likely from his own experiments), or that something the cac does ends up ruining everything for him or even KILLING him. These are just my guesses though. I'm holding onto the fact that he had mentioned wanting a rivalry like Goku & Vegeta's with the cac in ch1, and even though he claimed he was joking...he's not. You can really tell.

I haven't played with the JP audio yet but his tone throughout most of ch2 had me concerned since it was a clearly intentional choice for him to lose his pep outside of the times he's putting up a front.

Tl;dr: I called it and now I can't wait for ch3. Not to psychoanalyze or whatever but I just Know my faves so like..

Man...the cruel irony that US is turning him into what his uncle wanted too.

[orb0]

i drew my sandrock builder! i've mostly finished the game i'll miss it when i'm done

bonus perils of the miners hat :

[voidcat-senket]

Just thinking about how storytellers are all linked together in a chain of ingesting the stories, themes, metaphors, concepts, ideas, subjects, etc of beloved predecessors and peers and finding what touches you, inspires you, moves you, what you also want to communicate and then- making something of your own, something that will touch someone next, change them a little (or a lot) in a beautiful way and they’ll make something too, maybe with a little bit of you in it.

And we’ve been doing that in an unbroken link since language began.

[dathen]

Relistening to Hallowoods episode 33 and can’t wait for Barb and Polly to join forces and break out of the Industry prisons so they can go HOME

Bonus points if it’s after Polly is blinded and Barb has to keep his head above water re: despair

It would round out their interactions from 33 PERFECTLY I need it so much

[notthatdeafbard]

Okay but like, I need to rant about this post.

I had to do a lot of research on Yamantaka for my fic because frankly I’m behind on the manga due to my brain refusing to let me sit and read anything. Yamantaka is LITERALLY A GOD OF DEATH. We already know that Renzou struggles to maintain control/consciousness while using him. And as the post pointed out, he has had this familiar since he was a baby. That’s a terrifying thing to consider!

But no one bats an eye.

Karura tries to make Ryuji her partner to end the Impure King, and Everyone loses their minds! “He’s still a child” SO IS RENZOU.

Like I get that Ryuji and his family are like the head of the Myōō Dharani so they’re super important and in comparison the Shima’s are under them, but for FUCKS SAKE. 

The Illuminati want to use Renzou for Yamantaka, that’s why he was recruited. He was recruited, then further recruited at 15 for a really dangerous double agent mission. A child. 

THEY ARE BOTH CHILDREN DURING THESE MOMENTS, WHY IS IT ONLY BEING POINTED OUT THAT RYUJI IS A CHILD?!

[maverickcalf]

Thinking about how the first one to call Maverick, 'Mav, after Goose died was Slider.

He talks to a lot of people, but Slider was the first!

[freshfromthedryer]

I truly cannot put into words what it is that makes me so viscerally upset by the way AI is being used for creative things.

Something about faceless corporations selling it to us with a smiley face mask on. Cute packaging on how we can have a "friend" that listens and lies and ultimately can't decide for itself whether to share your information.

Something about trying to take away the value of people's crafts, of "why bother to learn it when an AI could do it for you". The removal and commodification of art, of trying to make people forget they can create things on their own so that they never think twice buying what they could make, and could probably make better than what they'll sell you at Walmart or Amazon or whatever.

Something about how nobody wants to take this seriously because "it's not that far along yet". About how everything else that has been used for convenience or fun under capitalism has been warped and twisted into 7.99 a month. Just 29.99 a year. Spring sale, only 24.99, buy now.

Something about people's earnest desires for technological advancement being exploited to create something that benefits only a few and exploits the rest. Surely it will end up okay this time. It won't be another Tesla. It won't be another Amazon. It won't be another oil tycoon, another Google, another planned obsolescence iPad. It won't be like last time. We'll do it right this time. It won't be another SpaceX. Another acne cream ad on a channel aimed at 10 year olds.

Something about my views and rage towards "tech" as we've come to know it being considered old fashioned. Technophobic. Luddite.

Something about violation of people's consent to be a part of it. Crushing people's voices and using a machine to talk over them. About making everything faster, cheaper, more plastic, less genuine.

Something about removing humans from the first things humanity ever had.

[bloodiedrogue]

well, i guess that’s it then

[musical-chick-13]

No, but the way that everyone in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a bit of a mess, that nobody has everything figured out, that even into adulthood they’re all continuing to go through the processes of reevaluating what they want and who they want to be, of unpacking the negative things they’ve internalized, because no, you’re not going to suddenly, magically know everything just because you’re an adult or because you’ve reached a certain life “milestone,” life is confusing and unpredictable and-despite how much society has tried to convince us otherwise-it just doesn’t work like that.

[shrubsparrow]

It's in the eye of the beholder

[vamprisms]

i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

[chainsawmascara]

The tower is one of the best cards in the deck. Everything that's secretly destroying you, everything you hold onto for fear you'll be something less than you are despite how much it hurts you, everything you can grow from should it finally fall apart - it's going to. It's going to fall apart so you can rebuild yourself.

You're escaping this burning tower, jumping out the window to find peace, to build something better, to become who you need to be - want to be, to create the life you deserve. That's finally happening.

And it will feel like hell, often, it won't be fun. It won't seem good at the time, having so much burn away. By the gods once it does, once you're free, once you can rebuild and recognize what you've really needed, that everything IS possible after leaving the worst of it all behind, it's amazing. It's a new start. It's destruction and creation and freedom and terrifying and beautiful.

I love the tower. I have a wooden pin with the tower on it, i keep it by my altar usually.

I hated the tower for so long. I feared the tower. It was the nightmare card of everything falling apart until everything finally DID fall apart. Until i was liberated from what i built to destroy myself. Until i built something better. Until my kingdom was one worthy of myself.

IT'S SUCH A GOOD CARD PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE IT'S AN AWFUL DEATH SENTENCE, IT'S SUCH A G O O D C A R D.

The one time in my life I had a tarot reading (& this was maybe about a month ago) I was thinking to myself "It would be so awesome to see The Tower drawn". Lo and behold: she came to me in my time of need, and I popped off in my head, full of serene joy

[noodles-07]

on friends and soulmates and that type of love that feels like it's going to burst right out of your heart

@/zmije / @/leptodiera / @/bichopalo / lyrics from two best friends by bb bean / animatedjames on youtube / @/killingmyselfbutnotdying / unknown / @/sadiekane / friedrich neitzsche / katfish draws / @/elytrians / @/wormbus-art aka @/angel-pond / @/mushysuggestion / the unsent project / mhairi mcfarlane / unknown

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.