#I have a few features I think would be nice but overall I like it

[thestarfishface]

So uh... update. The squad's all here.

Most pages are a WIP and I will absolutely be adding more with time, but if you wanna see more stuff re: my lil' purple baby and her original group that I've been drawing a bunch lately... shoves this @ u

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid his head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[merakiui]

!! Goldfishie Riddle !!

Gosh the possibilities,, maybe you were originally a volunteer but were kidnapped as a test subject for Riddle and given to him as a breeding toy? The scientists haven’t quite figured out mer biology yet and you were closest to the standoffish goldfish… so you’re a sacrifice in the name of science.

Somehow they’ve altered you for life underwater so you can breathe and be with him, but you don’t have fins or a tail, only clumsy human feet and hands. Can’t have you swimming away from riddle after all. There’s a shallower part of the pool for you to be able to stand up in but overall Riddle has access to you anytime he wants.

The chase part,,, Riddle gently nonconning you bc he thinks chase = mate??? And you have to explain to him the eggs don’t come out of humans, they stay in your tummy. And when the time comes to give birth, you’re in the shallow area of the water with Riddle gently but firmly stroking your tummy to help the babies come out. He whispers encouragement into your ears <333 helping you through the birth until your little goldfish fry are born! They’re all mini copies of their father with a few human features from you.

As a side note I imagine he’s a lil bit chubby in the cheeks for some reason, I just wanna squish <3

AAAAA YES YES!!!!

(cw: yandere, nsfw, female reader, non-con, pregnancy, aphrodisiac use, oviposition, breeding, delusion, implied stockholm syndrome)

Just imagine how curious he becomes once he realizes your arrival in his enclosure is meant to be a permanent fixture. Riddle is so visibly pleased by this change that he's smiling brightly, so overcome with happiness that he momentarily switches back to mer language and so all you hear are delighted clicks and whistles. He adores you so much; that much is obvious when he tries to be as close to you as possible in the water, reaching out with webbed hands to welcome you into his arms even if you're so intent on staying in the shallows, as far from him as possible. He's growing frustrated with your aversion, but he must remember to remain calm. Nothing good will come out of impatience, and humans are fragile creatures. He must treat you with care and respect.

Riddle tries to talk to you about random things to soothe you. Aside from the fact that you have been paired for mating purposes, the both of you are still friends. And isn't this good for your friendship? Won't living with him in his enclosure bring you much closer than before? Riddle isn't dangerous. He's nothing like those brutish moray eels or that sly octopus! He's sweet and genuine, and he only wants you to be comfortable while you're here. His space is your space now, and he doesn't mind sharing it. In fact, it would be so nice if you could sleep beneath the water with him, yet you're so determined to stay away. He doesn't understand what he's doing wrong. He shares his meals, he smiles at you, he talks to you, he tries to love you even if you avoid him... He's doing everything a good friend (and mate) is meant to do!

Sometimes the researchers feed you a strange medicine and it allows you to temporarily love him enough for you to let him explore your peculiar anatomy. Riddle likes to learn through hands-on experiences, so when you're so pliable and obedient his delicate fingers will spread your pussy open so he can peer inside while silently wondering if this is where your eggs will come out of. You stretch so wide! He's so amazed and awestruck when he fits three fingers in in one sudden thrust. And the reactions you make to all of his touches are so inviting. When you arch your back, when you gasp and moan, when your fingers curl into his hair when he slides his fingers out and replaces them with his tongue... Everything you do is so cute. He drags himself out of the water and onto the platform in the shallows, pressing his body against yours, to kiss at every part of you, cold hands curling around your breasts to squeeze and tug. When you're like this, you always let him sleep with you in the aftermath. You even let him hug you! Even though you may dislike the medicine the researchers give you, Riddle loves the effects it has on you.

You've told him time and time again that you can't release any eggs naturally and that there's no way you can mate in the way he expects to mate with you. The first time should have landed, but it took a few more insistent statements for Riddle to understand. Of course it would be different for you. You're a human with different anatomy and mating customs. But that doesn't mean he can't give you eggs. Merfolk are very adaptable creatures, and Riddle is a determined goldfish in love! When he chases you in the tank and you avoid him (though you aren't very fast; how can you possibly out-swim a mer when you don't possess the fins and tail necessary for cutting through the water so smoothly?), he thinks this is finally happening. You're accepting him and he can start a family with you. He's made sure to produce many eggs of his own so that they can all find a nice temporary home inside that warm, wet hole he liked to finger and lick all those times when you were under the influence of the medicine.

He's so gentle. His arms are wrapped around you and his tail curls between your legs, and he presses himself flush against your front when he thrusts all the way inside, softly cooing at you in an incoherent mix of mer and human language. He's learned that some humans often mate facing one another, so he wants to try this for your first time. And it feels so snug inside you, and he gets to admire your pretty face as you cry and whine. He'll swallow every protest with plenty of open-mouthed kisses, rocking inside you so very slowly so you can get used to him. You're clenching so hard and it's so tight inside that he wonders how an entire clutch will ever fit, but he knows you can do it. And he tells you this when he fills you with a special sort of slick that will help the eggs settle so much easier inside your womb. You squirm and struggle in his arms, but he holds firm, promising to you that you're doing well and that it'll be okay.

Riddle's so blissfully happy when he deposits the first few eggs inside you and you slowly but surely submit, your eyes veiled with glazed emotions. He thinks he might be crying as well when he feels your stomach swell, so full of eggs and slick and semen. He's going to have a family with you! He's going to be a father! You've finally accepted him as your mate (or perhaps he ought to say lover instead?)! He can build a happy family, one that will be filled with the love he never received as a fry. Oh, he's so, so happy and he voices his enthusiasm even if you aren't all that present to absorb his praise.

You still stay in the shallows after the fact, and for once Riddle doesn't mind it. You look so beautiful with your full belly. He stares at you with his elbows propped on the ledge of the shallows, so distracted and lovestruck that even the researchers can't get through to him. Riddle panics when they try to get close to you, and he splashes them when they attempt to touch you. The minute a hand that isn't his or yours strays too close to your pregnant tummy is when he's turning red with anger, glaring so viciously at the researchers and berating them with harsh, loud clicks and whistles. Though you can't understand his words, you can tell he's threatening and cursing them to the deepest trench and back.

Riddle likes when you pat his head. He likes when you soften enough to run your fingers over his pretty ear fins or squish his cheeks between your warm, welcoming hands. His fingers wrap around your wrists to keep your hands in place and he smiles so sweetly at you. Humans have a dozen ways to communicate their love for one another and so do merfolk. Mer language sounds very musical and rhythmic to keen ears, and Riddle can sing of all the phrases mers use to convey affection. He uses these even if you can't understand the sentiment. All that matters is that you know just how much he cares for you.

He's nervous when it comes time for you to give birth. Your stomach has only grown so much in the following months, a result of the goldfish fry getting bigger within their eggs. (He never anticipated just how big you would get.) He's excited, of course, but then there's also the underlying thrum of anxiety that courses through him. You've gotten better at letting him approach you. You used to flinch away and glare; now you seem less averse to him and his careful touch. He'll hold you against his chest, one hand rubbing circles into your hip while the other caresses your bloated belly to help lessen the pressure of so many eggs. He whispers the sweetest encouragements to you, presses kisses to the back of your neck, calls you mommy so you can get used to hearing it. You'll feel so exhausted and empty after the entire process and Riddle is so proud of you. He knew you could do it.

And perhaps you'll miss the feeling of being so full and round to the point where you'll beg him to fuck you again. He will (that's a promise), but you need to rest first. You'll fall asleep listening to a lullaby sung so softly in a language you can't understand, but it sounds so beautiful all the same. Riddle will kiss your forehead while he admires the many eggs, each one filled with a tiny, precious bundle of life. He definitely cries when they hatch and he sees his precious fry for the first time, cradling as many as he can hold in his palms and arms. How can he not become so emotional when they are the culmination of his and your love? He will adore each and every single one of them, and he's so lucky to be able to raise them alongside you.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how has your opinion changed on Steven Universe now than when it first aired? Like I have fond memories of watching the show while it was airing but now I realize that it had a lot of problems that I feel like a lot of fans either flat out ignore or bend over backwards to make sure their rose tinted glasses stay on.

... okay, fair question. Let's talk about this.

I'll try not to wax poetic too long, but there are a lot of things to be said here.

First and foremost - how has my opinion changed since the show has ended?

Simply put - it hasn't.

When I started watching Steven Universe over 7 years ago, I didn't have much knowledge of it. I sat down, saw a few of episodes and went 'well, this is a silly show for kids with a goofy but loveable protagonist... but it seems like it's also incredibly charming with its delivery and has some nice, more complex themes about loss and healing and grief throughout.'

And if you ask me what Steven Universe is now... I would probably say that exact same thing.

Am I wearing rose tinted lenses? Interesting question.

What ARE 'rose tinted lenses' in this context anyway?

What do these lenses represent? What do they obscure?

Since you didn't go into specifics, I can only assume what you're referring to when you say that many fans ignore the show's problems.

There have been many discussions surrounding various aspects of the show and how it might be read as 'problematic' (ahhh how I've come to despise that word.... without context, it has all the descriptive power of the word 'icky' - none of the critical details and all of the emotional punch of scrunching up your face like a cat that just sniffed a lemon...)

Is this about something as simple as the 'SU doesn't have a consistent size for its characters' debate?

Because that has been gone back to, over and over again, and proven to be a point of opinion. SU favored allowing storyboarders to show off their personal flourish, and even though Peridot was 30% hair in that one episode, it did not overall take away from the plotline being told, which was their goal. If you wanted to watch a show with consistent styling throughout, you can always watch a 3D modeled show, but keeping that up was simply never one of SU's main pillars. And I feel like it didn't have to be.

Is this about something more complex such as the way Rose was presented?

...and how her arc was shown backwards instead of forwards - showing first the person she became in the end, and afterwards revealing all the growth she had to have to get there?

That was on purpose! And I don't think this is a problem. It's a feature, not a bug. Rose was never meant to be an ideal character - she was meant to be complicated and messy, and I think the fact that the fandom is so split in their opinions of her shows that the Crewniverse pulled that off really well!

She fucked over Bismuth! She forced Pearl to be silent! Those are both parts of her character arc that were never resolved because she died before she could resolve it - that's BY DESIGN. Sometimes, you just do something absolutely stupid and cruel, and you cannot go back to fix it.

Is this about the Diamonds? The fact that they were not put in space jail, after being put on trial for space crimes, and then publicly executed for space eco-genocide?

Here's the thing - most people I know who watched and loved SU are fully aware of that. But simply put - Steven Universe was not a story about Revenge.

Steven Universe was a story about love. A story about family. A story about truth, and lies, and hurt, and healing. About how sometimes healing doesn't happen. And how sometimes it will, but you won't be around to see it.

But it's not a story that can be all things for all people.

That is the thesis of my reply: It is a story.

It is not a manifesto. It is not a bible. It is not a Complete Truth.

It is a single story. Made by a group of very talented people, who cared about these characters, who did their best. They made a funny, emotional, well-drawn and complex cartoon show about the things THEY personally wanted to tell stories about.

Does it answer all questions the way everyone wants them answered? No. That's impossible.

Everyone wants a different story. Everyone wants a different solution, a different resolution. A different ending.

Steven Universe is one story. It cannot satisfy all people.

So when you ask me 'has your opinion of Steven Universe changed'? The answer is 'no'.

I went in, expecting to see a story. I saw a lot of what I liked! I saw some parts which I thought were interesting. I saw some parts which, yes, I disagreed with a little.

But overall, it's a good story. And that's what I expected, and that's what I got, which means I'm pretty satisfied. I love that story.

I feel like recently, there's this expectation of media, to be Everything For All People. And it's a bit unrealistic. No one call tell the perfect story. We are all simply telling the stories we want to tell. And people will vibe with that, more or less.

A single story, made by a small group of people, will never be that for you. There will never be an Unproblematic Cartoon that you watch that will be devoid of things you disagree with.

Being critical of media doesn't mean 'Criticize the FUCK outta that media, and the one with the least criticisms is the best one'.

Critical thinking is about evaluating things critically - that means being critical of YOURSELF. Being critical of your OWN reactions. Asking 'why did I like this?' and 'why did I dislike this?'. Asking 'this doesn't mesh with me, but who WOULD it mesh with? It isn't for me, but who is it for? Who would it hurt, but also who would it help?'

Some people HATED how SU: Future ended. They beat their fists on the wall and cried about how Steven was leaving his family behind, and how THEY could never imagine doing something like that, and how he was running away from his problems just like Rose had.

Me? I loved it. I think it was the right choice, and I COULD imagine it and thought it was in character. I thought he needed to be his own person, instead of shouldering everyone else's responsibilities for once. Was one of us more right than the other? Maybe not? Maybe that was the whole point?

Loving things is not about putting on rose colored glasses. Sometimes, choosing to love something with flaws is an act of rebellion. It's about knowing you have differences, but understanding that there is value in the things you DO agree on, and knowing you can consume that.

Healthy consumption of media does not mean throwing the whole cartoon away as soon as you notice something is wrong with it, like a bruise on an apple.

Healthy consumption of media involves critical thinking AND feeding yourself. Acknowledging you may disagree with parts of it, but not starving yourself just because your apples all have small imperfections.

Eat, for fuck's sake. Feed yourself. You'll feel better.

Thassit.

[undeadcannibal]

Your honor I'd like to propose an amendment to the 🍆 head cannon post:

Curvature and distinguishing colors, features? Are they darker or the same shade? Lighter? Hair color? Texture? Who's got a lean? 🥎⚾s?

Summary: More requested ‘N.SF.T’ headcanons for Task Force 141, Los Vaqueros, and König~ Part 2 of this post here!

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Rodolfo, and König.

Warnings: explicit content!

A/N: Never did I expect for that other post to become as popular as it did. I’m happy y’all enjoy my gross and overly-detailed headcanons. Also, please note, if any of you happen to not like or find any of my hcs to be gross or not what you expected, keep in mind they’re just my headcanons. Don’t take ‘em seriously, dudes. Weird and rude replies will be deleted. ( Gif credit: xxx )

Gaz―

Not much of a curve to it, honestly, he’s pretty straight curvature wise. Distinguishing colors? I’d say his foreskin is the same as his skin tone overall, tip-wise? I’m thinking it’s a bit darker than the color of his lips and flushes an even deeper color when he’s fully aroused, mhm. Hair color of his pubes is dark and also has a some curl and texture to it when he does let it grow out for some time. Balls, too? Hm... I’d say Kyle’s sporting a nice, snug set he prefers to keep smooth and clean more often than not.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that he adores you paying extra special attention to his balls. Worship them and he’ll be cumming all over your face in no time~

Ghost―

Slight upward curve that stimulates you in the best of ways. IDC what anyone says, man has a mouthwatering cock with a nice flesh-pink tip and anyone can fight me on it. Probably slightly darker than his overall skin tone but not by much. Pubic hair stuff... I’m torn between him being a natural dirty blond or brunet. (I can’t remember where I saw the fanart from, but someone has a headcanon that he bleaches his brunet hair blond and oof, I’m in love, also give him long ass roots since he can’t keep up with his root touch-ups while out on missions) Straight-ish texture to his hair as well, grows pretty smoothly altogether. THIS MAN has a thick vein running down the middle of his shaft, my lord. And finally, for his balls, I’m thinking he’s got a hefty set that he’s quick to push you down to so you can pay them some attention, expect some light tickling from the hair there, too. uwu

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he struggles with being submissive and prefers being dominant the majority of the time due to his trauma. He doesn’t like the idea of submitting to someone -- he’s far too afraid of what kind of consequences it could possibly have for him. This doesn’t mean he’s a sadistic or strict Dom. If anything, he’s hyper aware of your reactions to every little thing he does, also refuses anything hard or physical against you, he detests the thought of causing his partner pain.

Price―

Leans ever so slightly to the right, isn’t too noticeable though. Since he’s circumcised in my previous post, could probably notice a scar that separates light flesh-tone color of his shaft from the faint pink of his tip. Also, despite him preferring to trim his facial hair specifically, I’d see him as going fully natural bush-wise. Man’s got a lovely cushion of brown hair that’s got just the faintest amount of gray speckled throughout. While he looks very textured, I personally think his hair would be soft af. Large set of balls that droops a bit lower now than when he was younger~

Bonus! Kink headcanon for John is - if you’re willing - he’d love to use you as an ashtray when he’s smoking. He’d light up, take a few puffs, than order you to open your mouth so he could tap the ashes off onto your tongue. Ordering you to keep your mouth open so he can see the black and grey specks of ash decorating your tongue before having you swallow.

Soap―

Has just the slightest upward curve to him, definitely jokes it’s great for helping stimulate his partner’s g-spot. Also knows all the best camera angles for top-tier dick pics. Shade darker than his natural skin tone and also has a smidge of hair going up the bottom of his shaft. Doesn’t mind in the slightest though. As mentioned before, he prefers going all natural and doesn’t shave or trim much. Lord, the amount of hair this man has. Has treasure trail, hair thighs, ass, groin, everything. Sorry, I love hairy men, what can I say? Also, when he’s super pent up, his tips turns a deep ruddy shade you love to see every time. Balls are on the larger side with one being slightly smaller than the other, also very sensitive and will have him turning into a whimpering mess if you pay special attention to them.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he takes every spare chance he can get to take and send nudes and videos of him jacking off. Doing his best to make those sounds you love whilst trying not to get caught by anyone. Those moments are for your eyes and your eyes only~

Rodolfo―

Sobbing because his cock is the same gorgeous shade as the rest of his skin, although can see the head of his cock and his balls being a tad darker. Maybe has a tad lean towards the left. Has trimmed dark hair that feels amazing beneath your fingertips. Balls are a bit on the larger side. Run your tongue over them and his dick will be twitching above your face in no time, also will draw up tight to him when he’s cumming~ Please spread this man’s thighs apart, he’s got beauty marks for days and will fucking tremble if you kiss and run your tongue over them!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he’s got such a praise kink when it comes to his partners. The hottest thing in the world for him is for him to be showering his partner with compliments, feeling them clench tightly around him as his words register in their pleasured-addled minds.

Alejandro―

Much like Rudy, he’s a beautiful shade of tan all throughout, and his cock head is just as flushed and ruddy when he’s aroused. Much like Rudy, has a lean but his is the exact opposite, veering to  Also is hairy just like Soap, but nowhere near to the same degree. If anything, man’s sporting a thick bush, hairy thighs, and legs. Also another man sporting thick veins throughout the length of him that he’s more sensitive about being touched than he’d like to admit. Large set of balls that do sag a bit but doesn’t mind in the slightest definitely likes to teabag his partner as a result if they allow him to  

Bonus! Kink headcanon for our man is that he’s a sucker for sloppy oral, giving or receiving, but especially receiving. Nothing excites him more than seeing how ruined and messy he can make your face as he fucks it.

König―

Doesn’t really have much of a curve or lean to him, but rest assured he’s got veins for days lining his shaft. And, if you run your tongue along them, he melts on the spot. Perfect male whimpering audio material <3 The color of him is noticeably darker than the rest of him. That, combined with his beautiful sandy colored curls make for a mouthwatering view. Also has large, yet tight balls that are far more sensitive than he’d like. Overstimulate the big guy right now!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that due to his size all around, he’s grown to have a liking for size difference with his partner being smaller than his. It’s pretty easy given his height, but more so it drives him feral to see his cock bulging his partner’s belly out with every thrust he gives.

[mint-yooxgi]

{14} - Morning Mist - Yandere!Dragon!Ateez X Chubby!Reader

Yandere AU & Dragon AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Yeosang and Yunho)

Words: 8,901

Warnings: Allusion to assault/boundaries not being respected. Violence/Fighting. Brief moments of fatphobia and homophobia near the end (not done by any of the guys). I think that's all, honestly. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Oof, it's really been forever since I've updated this series... my apologies for that! Honestly, I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I might focus a bit of my attention to getting out a few more parts of this series over the next few weeks or so, but that's still to be decided. Anyways, a bit of a nicer, longer chapter update for you guys. I really hope you all like it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I do not do tag lists.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen - Mini Masterlist

“Good morning.” A soft smile tugs at your lips as you greet the two males already waiting for you at the entrance to your village. 

As soon as they hear your voice, they’re both turning to face you. A satchel is slung over your one shoulder, the material a deep green in colour as you adjust the strap lightly.

“Morning.” The corner of Yunho’s lips twitch upwards.

All you receive from Yeosang in a stiff nod in response.

Perhaps he’s not a morning person.

“Ready to go?” You inquire, looking between them both.

A grunt is all you receive from the shorter male as the taller of the two nods in response. You quirk a brow.

The first few steps down the path and out of the village are silent, each male settling in on either side of you.

“Have you both eaten this morning?” You inquire casually.

“Joong wouldn’t let us leave unless we had something.” Yunho hums in acknowledgement. “He’s always looking out for us in that way.”

The corners of your lips twitch upwards as you nod faintly, “He’s a good clan leader.”

Little do you see the way Yeosang’s one eye twitches at your words.

“Have you eaten?” Yunho’s tone is light, sparing a glance at you out of the corner of his eyes as you continue down the path.

“I’m not much of a breakfast person.” You reply, a simple shrug to your shoulders.

“You should eat something.” Yeosang’s first words to you this morning are terse, the male staring straight ahead.

“I will. When I’m hungry.” The corner of your lips twitch upwards in amusement.

“How far is it to Rose Village?” Yunho asks, keeping pace with you as he spares a glance over at his brother on your opposite side.

“About a forty minute walk,” you hum. “Five, if we were to fly.”

“So, we’re walking because…?” Yeosang’s brow furrows, finally turning to you for the first time today.

“You should learn to not always rely on your wings,” You reply, somewhat stiffly. This time, it’s you who doesn’t meet either of their gazes as you stare straight ahead. “You may not always be able to use them.”

“Well, I think utilizing our legs will be good for us.” Yunho grins, purposefully stretching his arms above his head. “It’s nice to get out of the house every now and then.”

“Yes, the world is quite beautiful, if you’re brave enough to explore it.” You hum in agreement. “It has much to both offer and to teach us.”

You see understanding pass over both male’s features.

“Hwa told Joong that you said you’re willing to begin training us?” Yunho attempts not to look too eager, but there’s a certain gleam in his eyes that you still pick up on.

“If you are all still willing to be taught-“

“Yes.” Yeosang clears his throat, noting the way both you and Yunho immediately turn to look at him. “Please.”

“Very well.” You smile faintly. “When would you like to begin?”

“As soon as possible, if that’s alright with you.” Yunho responds, a sudden giddiness to his steps.

“That can be arranged.” You nod once, firmly. “We can start now, if you’d like?”

“While we’re walking?” Yunho’s brow furrows.

“While we’re walking.” You confirm. “Though, I must say, learning is a collaboration, so you shouldn’t hoard what I teach you to yourselves. You’ll never grow as a clan that way.”

Yeosang’s breath catches slightly in his throat. “We understand.”

“No wonder San and Wooyoung have been so eager to share your teachings with us,” Yunho mumbles.

“My rule of thumb is: if you can teach someone else what you’ve learned after you’ve learnt it, then you understand the lesson being taught.” You say, adjusting the strap of your bag over your shoulder lightly. “Everyone learns differently, and of course you can cater specifics to your own needs, but the base is usually the same.”

“You’ve been saying this whole time that you wouldn’t teach us, but you have been.” Yeosang observes. “Through them.”

“I take no credit for what you’ve learned from your brothers.” You shake your head. “That’s all from them.”

“Hwa’s got some catching up to do…” Yunho sighs, an amused quirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Something tells me that both him and Canary Man are getting the rundown on everything while we’re gone today.” You hum, somewhat knowingly.

“I don’t know how you did it, but there seems to have been a shift in Seonghwa over the past few days. Ever since he came back home from seeing you, it seems as if he’s calmer.” Yunho states, his gaze darting to you once more.

“All it takes is one moment of kindness to show you a new perspective on life,” you smile softly. “I simply extended a hand out to him, just as I wish someone did for me when I was in that situation. He was the one that accepted the offer.”

“When you were in that situation?” Yeosang is quick to catch on to your words.

“Your eldest and I are a lot more alike than you think.” You tell them. “I was in the exact same place as he was, once. I almost lost myself, and he could have, too. I’ll be damned if I ever let anyone go through what I went through without helping them.”

“You’re wise beyond your years.” Yunho praises.

“You make me sound so old,” your nose scrunches in distaste.

Yeosang actually lets out a puff of laughter at the way Yunho begins sputtering out apologies. 

“I’m just teasing you, Young One.” You chuckle. “I appreciate the compliment, all the same.”

The tips of his ears begin to turn red as he clamps his mouth shut.

Yeosang clears his throat. “Our training?”

“Ah, yes,” you nod. “How would you like to begin?”

“Shouldn’t you decide that for us?” Yunho quirks a brow, managing to get his bashfulness under control for the moment.

“I don’t want to be teaching you stuff you already know.” You shrug. “I’ve never seen you in a fight, nor do I know how strong your senses have become since the first time we met.”

“I thought you knew everything.” Yeosang blinks, almost innocently at you.

You laugh, “Not everything, Yeosang.”

You swear you see a shiver caress his spine as you say his name.

“Well, what do you know of our powers?” Yunho asks, nothing but curiosity shining in his eyes.

“If you’re incurring whether or not I know what type of dragon you are, Yunho, then you should be specific.” You shoot him a small look. “Speak of your own desires before you assume to know someone else’s.”

He swallows thickly. “Then, do you?”

“Do I, what?” You press, quirking a brow all the while.

“Know what type of powers I possess?”

“I do.” You hum.

He frowns, “How?”

You smile, almost tenderly. “Your youngest seems to enjoy talking about all of you to me as much as he enjoys talking about me to you.”

You hear Yeosang take in a deep breath beside you, almost exasperatedly.

“So, Jongho told you.” Yunho nods his understanding.

“For the most part,” you tighten your grip on the strap of your bag. “I can sense more than presences if I focus, you know.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Yunho breathes, a wondrous look shining in his eyes as he looks at you.

Yeosang lets out another puff of air.

“Quite a few things, actually,” you confirm with an amused grin. “But that’s not important right now.”

“So, then,” Yunho hums, his body half turning more towards you in eagerness, “What’s my power?”

Nothing but mirth dances within your gaze as you see Yunho practically vibrating with excitement as he continues to walk alongside you. Yeosang seems to have slowed slightly, his shoulders curling in on himself as he crosses his arms over his chest. A small frown pulls at his features, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looks irritated.

You meet Yunho’s gaze.

“Earth.” You state. “Rather, the minerals that fill the ground.”

Yunho smiles, nodding quite enthusiastically along with your words.

“It’s very fitting,” you add. “From what some of your brothers tell me, you are quite a stable rock in their lives.”

His blush returns, Yunho suddenly wiping his palms on the sides of his thighs bashfully. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” you chuckle. “Thank your brothers.”

Yunho spares a brief glance at Yeosang, noticing how the aforementioned male looks so irate.

“What’s the matter, Yeo?” Yunho’s head tilts slightly in worry. “You were probably the second most excited after San when we learned she would teach us.”

At this, your brow quirks.

Heat immediately flares to Yeosang’s cheeks, the male avoiding your gaze as he mumbles out a ‘just tired.’

“Well, it is quite early,” you hum in agreement. “We’ll be at Rose Village soon, anyways.”

“Is there anything we can practice while we walk?” Yunho inquires eagerly.

“Hone your senses.” You reply, almost instantly. At the way they both spare a curious look at you, you’re quick to continue, “You’ve been doing so already, that much I can tell. However, it isn’t enough. You,” turning your sharp gaze to the side, you meet Yeosang’s eyes, “should be able to sense things with the breeze for miles. It should get to the point where you don’t even need to expel any excess energy to do so; it should become second nature.”

He nods, eyes sharpening as he focusses on sensing the wind almost immediately after you stop talking.

“And you,” you turn your pointed stare to Yunho who straightens almost immediately, “should be able to sense the vibrations in the earth as to where your enemies are. Know your surroundings; hone your senses.”

“How do we know if we’re doing it properly?” Yeosang questions, his lips slightly pursed in concentration.

“You will feel as if you’ve become one with your surroundings.” You reply. “Having the powers you do helps tremendously, for when the time is right, such elements will feel as if they are speaking to you. Train your ears to notice the slightest of sounds. Train yourself to notice every scent in an area, and pick up on when they shift even the faintest bit. Trust your senses, and rely on your instincts. You’ll soon begin to notice things that were never there before.”

“And we’re supposed to do this while walking?” Yeosang frowns.

“The constant sound of our feet crunching the gravel is a good practice for a monotonous sound.” You go on to say. “It is repetitive, so you should be able to drown it out. You won’t always have time to gather your bearings while standing still. Search for the abnormalities within the constant, and you’ll master your senses much quicker.”

“I think I get it,” Yunho nods, almost absentmindedly.

“I know you’ve both already been expanding your sensory reach.” You comment. “It’s time to take it a step further. I have faith in the both of you. Don’t just think,” your eyes flash briefly as your head whips to the side, a bird taking off from a branch in the next second, “feel.”

Two nods are all you receive in response as the males begin to thoroughly concentrate on their surroundings. You can tell how intently they’re focussing, for they stare straight ahead, standing to their full heights as they continue down the path with you.

A small breeze picks up, and you can feel the ground beneath your feet beginning to hum with life.

“Good,” you nod casually. “Once you both feel as if you have a better understanding of our surroundings, let me know. I’ll test you.”

“Test us?” Yeosang’s head tilts curiously.

“I’ll start easy on you,” you grin, a knowing gleam in your eyes. “For example, there’s a squirrel somewhere close by. Find it.”

Both of their heads whip off to the right, a brow squirrel running down the side of a tree in the next second.

“Good.” You nod approvingly. “This is exactly what I mean. Everything is interconnected, and by the time you hone your sense, nothing will escape you.”

They both nod, soft smiles pulling at their features.

“This is also a good way to discern what you need to work on to hide yourselves better.” You continue. “Scent, sound, sight: everything can both work for you, or against you.”

“Now that you mention it, I can smell you a lot more, Yeo.” Yunho’s nose scrunches.

A small laugh escapes you, and you see the aforementioned male’s cheeks dusting red.

“Yeah, well, the sound of your footfalls are like a giant upon the earth.” Yeosang snaps back.

Again, you chuckle, noticing how Yunho’s ears begin to turn red once more.

“See, these are things you both can work on to hide yourselves better.” You spare a glance at both of them. “If you really want to test yourselves, ask Jaemin to track you. He’s the best of our clan.”

You do not fail to miss the way they both stiffen at your words.

“I don’t know,” Yeosang grimaces slightly, shooting a pointed look towards Yunho. “Wouldn’t want to stink him out.”

“If you’re worried if you smell or not, you don’t.” You reply, noticing how he falters slightly in his steps. “You actually have quite a pleasant musk, like fresh juniper and oak.”

Instantly, Yeosang’s spine straightens, puffing his chest out slightly as the corner of his lips tug upwards smugly.

Yunho, on the other hand, begins to pout.

“We’re almost there,” you comment, motioning ahead on the path with your chin.

Glancing forward, the two males can just make out the entranceway of Rose Village. Flowers surround the grand archway, and faintly, they can both begin to smell the pungent aromas drifting through the air.

“Who’s a better tracker, then? You, or Jaemin?” Yunho attempts to change the subject, if only slightly.

Your knowing smile says it all. “Do not forget that I was the one who taught him everything he knows.”

“Then, we should just ask you to track us.” Yeosang replies.

You shake your head. “You’ll never learn that way, and I won’t always be around to train you. My Neos are your best options if you even want to attempt to best me at anything.”

“Which is why you sent Woo and San to Ten and Taeil to start.” Yeosang hums in understanding.

“Exactly.” You nod in confirmation. “You should partner up with them if you want to learn how to better utilize your powers. If you want to hone your strength, ask Jeno to train you. He’s our strongest fighter.”

“Something tells me we’ll have to go through them before we can even get to you.” Yunho spares a look at you out of the corner of his eyes.

You meet his gaze, the corners of your lips twitching upwards.

“We’re here,” you pause just before the archway, observing the village with such a fond look in your eyes as you see people milling about just through the entrance. “Continue to hone your sense, you never know what you might learn.”

Without saying another word, you enter the village.

A smile pulls onto your features as you take in your surroundings. Many different stalls have been set up, lining the paths with different vendors selling their wares. There’s a fruit stand off to the side, a few different herb sellers, and multiple florists all chatting with potential customers.

Walking through the main road, you cannot help the wondrous shine in your eyes as you observe the daily lives of the townsfolk. That feeling of nostalgia that floods your senses almost serves to overwhelm you, your one hand tightening its grip on the strap of your satchel.

Little do you see the fond looks either dragon send your way.

“This way.” You voice lowly, shifting almost wistfully through the throngs of people towards the very back of the street.

Reaching the end of the row, the area opens up into a large square with a beautiful trickling fountain in the centre. Vines creep up the sides of the buildings, more flowers blooming from every angle and filling the space with vibrant colours of pink, purple, red, and orange.

There’s almost a renewed giddiness to your steps as you round a corner, more vendors lining the street. Your steps are precise and steady, heading directly to a specific counter right at the end of the row.

Silently, the two males follow but a step behind.

Two females can be seen conversing behind the stall counter. Both are quite tall in stature with dark skin. One wears her hair in tight braids, the tips resting just below her shoulders. The other has shorter hair, tight curls adorning the strands. Around their stand, three rambunctious children - two girls, one male - can be seen running around, hitting each other with different flower stalks.

Stopping in her tracks, one of the children seems to take notice of you approaching the stand. A large, dramatic gasp escapes her, causing her siblings and mothers to turn their heads in your direction.

“Auntie!” The little girl squeals, immediately running over to you with her arms outstretched.

The two males share a look as you wrap the little girl in your arms, picking her up and hugging her tightly as she giggles loudly.

“My goodness, you’ve gotten so big!” You grin, holding her against your hip as she rests her hands on your shoulders.

“What about me!” The other little girl says, tugging at your shirt lightly as she stands beside you.

“Yeah!” The little boy adds, standing tall with his hands on his hips. “It’s not fair you always pick up Delilah first!”

“Well, I do have two arms, Marcus,” you chuckle, shifting Delilah over slightly so you can pat his head affectionately.

Just as you go to reach for him, he runs away.

“No, wait! I’m too old for you to be picking me up!” He whines, hiding behind the stall counter with his parents.

“I’m not!” The other little girl says, running right into your arms so you can pick her up.

A moment later, and you’ve hoisted her into your free arm, giggles falling from her lips as she places a big kiss onto your cheek.

“It’s good to see you again,” the woman with the braids smiles kindly, an overtly affectionate look shining in her eyes as she stares at the scene before her.

“We’ve all missed you.” The other woman says, standing just a smidge taller than her wife beside her.

“I’ve missed you all, too.” You return their fond looks, nuzzling your forehead affectionately against the girl’s own.

They giggle in response, Delilah leaning into you further.

“Auntie, did you bring us anything?” She inquires innocently, blinking at you all the while.

“You know I always do.” You chuckle fondly, placing both girls back on their feet for the time being. “Jungwoo was very adamant about me giving these to you.”

“Oh, they’re from Uncle Jungwoo?” Marcus’ eyes instantly light up, coming back around the counter to stand before you.

Sliding the strap of the bag off your shoulder, you open the satchel. Reaching inside, you pull out three small wooden figurines. The deer you hand to Delilah, the eagle to Marcus, and the little dragon figurine you hand to the final little girl.

“Wow,” she gasps, nothing but pure awe in her eyes as she turns the figure around and around in her hands.

“Minnie, what do we say to your Auntie?” The woman with the braids smiles knowingly.

Immediately, the girl looks up into your eyes, a bright smile on her lips, “Thank you, Auntie!”

You chuckle, “Don’t thank me, thank your Uncle Jungwoo.”

“Auntie,” Marcus begins lowly, leaning into you as if discussing something secret. His eyes briefly dart past you to the two males still standing silently behind you. “Are you cheating on Uncle Jungwoo?”

A boisterous laugh escapes both you and the two females still standing behind the counter.

“Oh, no, Marcus,” you pat his arm assuringly. “Your Uncle Jungwoo and I are not together.”

“So, then, are these your new boyfriends?” Minnies ask, walking up to Yunho and tugging on the side of his pants. “Are you married to my Auntie now?”

You swear Yunho’s eyes nearly bulge right out of his head as he splutters over his own words.

“No, Minnie,” you chuckle, “We’re not married.”

“Why not?” Minnie turns back to you, blinking almost owlishly.

“Minnie, relationships don’t work like that,” the taller of the two ladies shakes her head endearingly.

“But you and mommy are married!” She scurries over to the both of them.

“That’s because we’ve known each other for a very long time.” The woman answers.

“Uncle Jungwoo and Auntie have known each other for a very long time.” Marcus voices.

“Not as long as Uncle Renjun, or Uncle Taeyong, though.” Delilah adds, matter-of-factly.

“My Neos are like family to me,” you explain softly. “Like my brothers.”

“What about Uncle Kun?” Minnie asks innocently.

“Children, that’s enough.” A sharp look is given to the three of them by the woman with the braids.

“It’s alright, Kamille.” You smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. You crouch down so you’re eye level with Minnie. “Uncle Kun finally found his special someone, and I’m happy for him. We agreed to just stay friends.”

“His loss,” the taller of the two mumbles.

“Trisha,” a sharp look is sent her way by you.

She shrugs, “Just saying.”

“Auntie! We have something for you!” Delilah exclaims excitedly, scurrying into the house behind the stall with the other two children in tow as they all remember their gifts for you.

You stand back to your full height, a curious quirk to your one brow.

The two women offer you knowing looks in response. Except, once they see what each of the children hold on their way back out of the house, they attempt to stop them. Only, they don’t manage to catch them.

“Mommy said these were your favourites, once.” Minnie extends a few flowers out to you, both Marcus and Delilah standing on either side of her doing the same.

Your breath catches in your throat as you see the children each holding out a few stems of bluebells to you with smiles on their faces.

A soft call of your name from Kamille sounds from behind the children. “We’re so sorry, we told them-“

“Did you grow these yourselves?” You cut her off, not even sparing her a look as your eyes begin to water.

Three proud nods greet your blurry vision, and your first tear falls. Softly, you grab the flowers from their hands.

“Look at you three!” You smile through the pain in your heart which suffocates you from the inside out. “You’ll be giving your mother’s a run for their money pretty soon. These flowers are beautiful!”

Happy giggles reach your ears, the girls twirling eagerly from side to side as Marcus avoids your gaze.

“Okay, children, why don’t you go grab some snacks for all of us at the bakery.” Trisha grabs a few coins and hands then to Marcus. “We have some things to talk about with your Aunt, here.”

“Okay!” Three cheers are heard as they all rush off down the street, disappearing into the crowd.

“I’ll go with them.” Yunho offers, already following after the three children.

Kamille simply raises an eyebrow.

“He heard the word ‘bakery,’ and now that’s all he can think about.” Yeosang sighs.

“I don’t blame him,” you wipe your tears from your cheeks, gazing almost longingly down at the bouquet of bluebells in your hand. “Rose Village bakery is one of the best around for miles. Seeing as he bakes, he probably wants to check it out.”

“Ah, found yourself a baker this time, have you?” Trisha jokes.

“I haven’t found myself anything.” You shake your head, a slight huff escaping you.

Both women finally step out from behind their little stall.

“It’s good to see you again,” Kamille says as she wraps her arms around you, making sure to avoid your back all the while.

“We weren’t lying when we said we’ve missed you,” this time, it’s Trisha’s turn to wrap you in her arms, hugging you tightly as you do the same back.

“I’ve missed you, too.” You pat her back affectionately.

“I thought you said you were going to come visit more often,” Kamille shoots you a playfully accusatory look.

“Yes, well,” you chuckle, motioning to Yeosang with your eyes, “Some things came up.”

“Oh, where are our manners?” Kamille immediately turns to the single dragon by your side. “I’m Kamille, and this is Trisha. We’re the Delaris’. Those three you saw earlier are our kids, Marcus, Delilah, and Minnie.”

Yeosang bows respectfully, introducing himself and his brother in the next moment.

“Yes, we’ve heard whispers about you Halas.” Trisha crosses her arms over her chest, a minor quirk to her brow.

“How did you-“

“The forest speaks in many tongues.” Kamille replies easily, moving behind her stall and rummaging around in a bin.

“You’re dragons?” Yeosang sounds more surprised than he figures he should be at this point.

“Not quite.” Trisha grins knowingly.

“They’re my oldest caster friends.” You explain, placing the flowers onto the counter before you.

Understanding passes across his features.

“Seriously, we cannot apologize enough about the flowers,” Trisha grimaces, her arms falling back to her sides.

“It’s alright,” you smile weakly. “At least they weren’t daisies.”

“But these were meant to replace daisies with-“

“Trisha!” Kamille’s sharp voice cuts her wife off as she pops back up behind the stand.

Both women spare a worried look in your direction, only serving to make Yeosang even more confused than he already is. At the pained expression you wear, nothing but concern pulls at his features, stepping the slightest bit closer to you. All he wants to do is ease your distress in whatever ways he can, his earlier irritation long since forgotten now.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve received bluebells from anyone.” You say, voice barely above a whisper. Gently, one of your fingers traces over a bloom. “They don’t grow on this side of the fjord. Naturally, at least.”

“We haven’t sensed any of them crossing over in quite a long time.” Kamille comments.

“They shouldn’t.” You meet her gaze, your eyes flashing. “Nor will they ever again.”

“What about Bokkie?” Trisha’s brow furrows slightly.

You simply shake your head in response.

Yeosang frowns.

“Anyways,” Kamille clears her throat. “I take it you’re here for your usual order?”

“I can’t come to see my old friends?” You tease.

“Hey!” Trisha protests. “We’re not that old!”

“You’re almost as old as I am.” You chuckle, your eyes crinkling at the sides.

“Give or take about a hundred years.” Kamille mumbles, a playful roll to her eyes.

Yeosang’s eyes widen in shock.

“Oh, you’ve gone and stunned the poor baby dragon.” Trisha tuts, turning to meet Yeosang’s gaze in the next second. “Us witches know quite a few tricks to staying youthful, you know.”

“Of course, it helps to keep your nose out of trouble.” Kamille adds.

“You two, staying out of trouble?” You quirk a brow. “Unlikely.”

The two women share a look.

“Guilty.” Trisha chuckles, shooting a wink in your direction. “Now, come with me and I’ll help you get those herbs you like so much.”

A simple nod is all you offer her in response, following her into the house and chatting idly as you leave Yeosang with Kamille.

“Are you sure the kid is going to be okay with Kami by himself?” Trisha asks from over her shoulder.

“I heard that!” Kamille calls after you both.

You chuckle, “I’m quite certain Yeosang can handle himself.

Little do you see how the aforementioned male straightens slightly, the corner of his lip twitching upwards faintly.

“Alright,” Trisha chuckles, guiding you into the back room of the house where their rarer herbs reside. “Well, as always, you’re welcome to anything and everything you’d like.”

“I literally cannot thank you enough,” you smile, already harvesting some thistle wart from its pot. “Oh, actually, before I forget, I brought something for the two of you, as well.”

Pausing in your movements, you reach into your satchel once more and pull out two leather-bound books, and two small carved crystals.

“I finished compiling that tome you asked me the last time, and I think you’ll enjoy the other one, too. The crystals are a gift from me to you, as a thank you for everything you two have done.” You place each item carefully into her own hands. “They’re also good luck charms.”

Trisha places both books onto a side table before carefully examining the carved crystals. One is in the shape of an obelisk, symbols carved along its side. The other is smooth like a river stone, perfectly oval in shaped. Both are milky white in colour, and her eyes flash with understanding.

“Thank you,” she bows deeply before wrapping you in another hug. “You’ve always done more for this family than we deserve.”

“Nonsense,” you shake your head, holding her at arms length once she pulls away. “You guys are my family, not just My Neos.”

“Then, you know if you ever need anything, all you need to do is ask, right?” She quirks a brow at you.

“Of course.” You nod, quite firmly at her. “Know that the same is true of me with you.”

Trisha returns your smile.

A moment later, and you return to harvesting the plants scattered around the room.

“So, are you going to tell us about you and those Hala dragons of yours?” She inquires, somewhat knowingly.

“There’s nothing major, really.” You shrug, placing some herbs into your satchel. “I consider them my friends, for my part.”

“There hasn’t been a raid from them since they attempted to harm your village.” She observes, and at your mildly surprised look, she clarifies, “Renjun’s been by a few times with Johnny.”

“Has he, now?” Understanding crosses your features. “Well, they’ve certainly calmed themselves since I’ve met them.”

“Any of which your doing?” She leans against the side table, tilting her head in your direction.

“I do not control other’s actions.” Comes your quick reply, but even she can tell you’re now avoiding her gaze.

“Normally Taeyong joins you on a day like today.” She observes. “Yet, two Halas are here instead. Either he knows something we don’t, or he’s currently on his deathbed.”

“If you’re suggesting Taeyong set me up, you’d sadly be mistaken.” You reply, glancing up at her from the plant you’re currently harvesting. “The two of them simply convinced him to let them take his place. Which reminds me… Yongie said he wanted some more of your roses, if you’d be so kind.”

“I’ll let Kamille know,” Trisha hums, watching you carefully.

A moment of silence.

“I’m going to train them.”

Trisha blinks at you in shock. She clears her throat, “Are you sure?”

“I said I would.” Comes your resolute answer.

“You haven’t offered to train anyone since the Wolves-“

“I know.” You cut her off, exhaling a deep sigh as you stand back to your full height. “I can’t keep living my life in the shadow of his betrayal, Trish. I’m tired of letting it control me.”

“This is about more than just training, isn’t it?” Her tone is soft as she takes a step towards you, placing a gentle hand onto the side of your arm in comfort.

“It’s been over fifty years, Trish-“ your voice catches in your throat as she begins rubbing your arm soothingly. Tears begin to gather once more in your eyes, your own hands clinging desperately to the strap of your satchel. “I don’t want to watch my life pass by from the outside anymore. I want to start living again, and maybe-“ you swallow thickly, “maybe even learn to love again.”

She smiles softly at you, giving your arm a light squeeze.

“And honestly, Trisha,” you suck in a sharp breath, “I’m terrified. I want to believe him- I want to believe in him so badly, it hurts, but I don’t know if I can. And then what happened with Kun…” You trail off. “I can’t go through another-“ you choke on a sob, “I can’t-“

“I know, sweetie,” she coos, shushing you all the while as she wraps you in her embrace. “I know.”

“The most terrifying thought, though, is that I am.” You whisper lowly. “I am starting to believe him.”

“The one outside?” Her brow furrows slightly.

“No, his brother.” You shake your head.

“The baker?”

“No, their youngest.” You clarify.

A noise of understanding echoes in her throat.

“Why do you-“

“I think it’s more than just the youngest that’s making you believe.” She observes. “Sure, he may have been the catalyst, but I know you. Even you would have had a difficult time agreeing to let anyone but Taeyong come with you to see us today. Hell, even bringing them to this festival is something you would have denied to anyone whom you didn’t trust.”

You take a moment to consider her words. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m not going to sit here and tell you what you should do. Only you can decide that for yourself.” She says, pulling away to stare deeply into your eyes. “What I can tell you is this: you are not the same person you were all those years ago. You know both Kami and I strongly believe in things always happening for a reason, and perhaps what happened with Kun was meant to happen so you could find them. Perhaps letting yourself believe won’t be such a bad thing.”

You nod lightly.

“Besides, I can sense the magic of this youngest’s Drygg Promise all over you.” She tilts her head knowingly. “It’s the strongest, most sincere form of magic I’ve ever seen from anybody. Even from you.”

“He is quite convincing.” You chuckle fondly.

“Convincing, or sincere?” She squeezes your arm once more. “Come on, the kids should be back by now.”

“I’ll be out in a minute, I just have a few more herbs to get.” You tell her, noticing how she begins to head towards the front.

A call of her name from you stops her.

“Thank you.” You meet her gaze, clearing your throat lightly as you compose yourself. “For everything.”

Trisha smiles. “You know we’re always here for you. I think it’s time you let some new people in, as well.”

Without another word, or waiting for a response from you for that matter, she leaves back out through the front door.

Perhaps she’s right. Maybe it is time for you to allow yourself to grow and let go of your past.

Finally, you think you’re ready to move on.

Stepping back out of the house a few minutes later, you see both women conversing with Yeosang. The tips of his ears are dusted a faint red, and even you can see the way he seemingly lights up as soon as he sees you.

“There you are,” Kamille nudges your side gently as you come to stand beside her. “Yeosang was worried you got lost.”

“I was not!” His eyes widen, greatly scandalized by Kamille’s words.

“Right.” Trisha laughs. “And you weren’t just thinking about storming past us to make sure she was still alive.”

The way he begins to splutter says it all.

“It’s okay,” Trisha pats him affectionately on his arm. “We know the signs all too well.”

“What signs?” Yeosang shifts his gaze between them, a confused, almost defensive furrow to his brow.

The two women share a look. “Denial.”

“The kids aren’t back yet?” You cut in, glancing around the area briefly and not seeing them, or a much taller male in sight.

“Not yet,” Kamille shakes her head, a worried pull to her lips downwards.

“Not that we don’t trust your brother,” Trisha adds, sparing a brief look at Yeosang, “but they should have been back by now.”

Your head tilts, and you notice Yeosang’s does, too.

“Mommy!” A cry is heard just through the crowd, and you see both Delilah and Marcus pushing their way through the throngs of people.

Immediately, you intercept the two children, their parents at your side.

“What’s wrong?” A frown is prominent on Kamille’s face as she picks Delilah up.

“Where’s Minnie?” Trisha is quick to grab ahold of Marcus who clings onto her side.

“That new bakery lady won’t leave Yuyu alone.” Delilah pouts.

“She’s worse than when you and mom start making kissey faces at one another.” Marcus’ nose scrunches in distaste.

“Minnie’s trying to save him, but it’s not working.” Delilah adds.

“I thought Rylie was married.” Kamille says, more to herself than anything.

“I’m sure Yunho can handle a few flirtatious comments sent his way.” Yeosang chuckles. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

“He popular like that, or something?” Trisha quirks a brow, somewhat teasingly.

“Or something.” Yeosang grumbles.

“Didn’t take you to be one to get jealous,” you hum, and you notice how his cheeks begin to dust pink for the nth time today.

“I’m not jealous.” He grumbles, gaze flicking over to you every now and then.

“Mom!” Delilah whines. “This is serious! Yuyu is in big trouble!”

“We’ll go check it out. Don’t worry.” You assure them.

“Hurry!” Marcus begins to tug Trisha down the street. “There’s bad energy coming from him.”

The three of you share a look.

Almost instantly, you and the two witches take off down the row, pushing your way through the crowd.

“What’s going on?” Yeosang manages to just keep pace with you.

“Marcus can sense shifts in energies, it’s his specialty ever since he was small. If he gets a bad feeling, almost always something bad will happen.” You explain quickly. “Your brother may be in danger.”

Rounding a street corner, the crowd thins slightly. You can see the awning of the bakery in sight, and you hurry your pace, the others following behind.

The bell above the shop door jingles as you six enter the shop. The owner, Nina, sends you a warm smile from her chair behind the counter. Once she adjusts her glasses, she’s offering you a friendly wave in recognition. Age, it seems, is catching up with her. 

You have just enough time to wave back before your attention is drawn to the side where you see Yunho backed into a corner, the new girl - Rylie - holding him hostage with her arm beside his shoulder. The way she’s leaning into him, and his stiff demeanour, says it all.

“Mommy!” Winnie scoots out from between them, panic clear on her features.

Kamille is quick to embrace the girl, cooing at her to calm her down.

“Rylie.” Trisha’s stern call of her name has the women sighing dramatically before turning her head slightly in acknowledgement.

Still, she does not move from her position.

“What?” Nothing but irritation lines her voice as her gaze flicks over to your little group.

“Tell her to stop bothering Uncle Yuyu!” Winnie crosses her arms, frown prominent on her features.

Your eyebrows raise slightly at the name she calls him, mirth dancing on your features.

“You heard the little lady.” You address the woman before you, noticing how she purposefully trails her gaze over you in disgust.

“If he wanted me to stop, he would have pushed me away by now.” She retorts, rather pointedly.

“Actually, I’ve been asking you to give me space this whole time-“

“Shhh,” she turns quickly, placing a finger over his lips as she leans into him. “You don’t have to lie to save her pride. I know I’m a better match for you than she is.”

You blink, not being able to keep the appalled expression off of your features. Honestly, you’re more amused than anything, but you contain your laugh of disbelief for now.

You share a look with both Kamille and Trisha. You smirk.

If this is how this woman wants to play, then you’ll gladly succumb to her games.

“What makes you think I enjoy the company of men?” You quirk a brow, beginning to slowly step towards this woman. The way your suddenly hooded gaze remains locked on her has her faltering for a moment. “You caught my eye since I first stepped foot in this little bakery, here.”

“What are you doing?” Her brow furrows, and she takes a step back and away from Yunho as you creep closer.

“It seems to me you enjoy assertive people.” You continue to approach, backing her into the corner and away from Yunho. “I’m just emanating you.”

“Don’t come near me.” She pushes herself against the wall.

You stop in your tracks, leaving a good two feet of distance between your body and hers. You blink at her in curiosity, tilting your head all the same.

“If you wanted me to stop, you would push me away.” You throw her words back at her, making sure never to lay a single finger on her the whole while.

“Just leave me alone.” She spits.

“To be clear, you’re asking me to stop?” You inquire, staring straight into her eyes expectantly.

“Yes!” She hisses. “Do you not understand the word ‘no’?”

Your eyebrows raise, but you remain silent. Your expression says it all.

A scowl is pulling at her features in the next moment as she pushes past you, knocking into your shoulder quite harshly. “Fucking bitch.”

The sound of the bell jingling above the door is the only indication you have that she’s left.

“Oh, I suppose it is time for her break.” Nina hums, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“Seriously, Nina,” Kamille sighs. “You should find better employees.”

The old woman either doesn’t hear her, or chooses not to answer as she begins humming a soft tune to herself.

You shake you head, turning to face Yunho in the next second. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” his reply is somewhat breathless as he stares at you, blinking to clear his vision soon after. He clears his throat, seemingly coming back to reality. “Yeah.”

Winnie immediately runs over to Yunho, grabbing his hand in hers.

“Uncle Yuyu, you promised to buy us flowers!” She begins tugging him towards the entrance.

You quirk a brow, “Upgraded to Uncle now, are you?”

He grins, a red creeping onto his ears. “It was all them.”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Yeosang pouting.

“Hey kids, why don’t you drag Uncle Yeo along with you, too.” The corner of your lips twitch upwards knowingly.

“Okay!” Delilah immediately rushes over to Yeosang, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the door now, too.

“Have fun!” You wave them off, seeing as Marcus now holds the door open for them all.

The moment the door swings shut, the three of you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Crisis averted.” Kamille sighs, sitting herself down in one of the chairs nearest to her.

“Rylie has been a piece of work since she started here last month.” Trisha sits opposite Kamille, you joining them quickly.

“She new to town?” You inquire, noting how quiet the bakery is for a day like today.

“Yeah, her and her husband moved here about two months ago. She’s stirring up trouble wherever she goes, and we usually have to clean up the mess.” Trisha frowns. “Flirts with every male she sees, then usually her husband steps in to ‘defend what’s his’.”

You grimace, “Sounds like they’re both a piece of work.”

“You’re telling us.” Kamille nods. “We’ve had to step in a number of times before things get too out of hand. He’s already received two major warnings.”

“One more and we kick them out of here for good.” Trisha says. “Perks of being the heads of council.”

“You two run this village flawlessly,” you comment. “Of course you have final say. I’m honestly surprised you still let them live here.”

“Who knows, maybe we’ve become too lenient in our old age.” Kamille hums, the three of you sharing a laugh.

A few minutes later, the three of you are sharing a pastry, talking idly as you wait for the kids and the two males to return. The more you converse with your friends, the more your shoulders relax. Though, with the sound of the bell chiming above the door, and the ominous presence you feel entering the bakery, that happiness soon plummets into unease.

“That’s her.” You hear a harsh whisper behind you. “That’s the bitch that touched me.”

You nearly roll your eyes, but at the way the two women in front of you stiffen, you opt to sigh instead.

“Oi, you!” A loud voice draws your attention to the front of the bakery to see a burly man standing there. His arms are crossed as Rylie practically clings to his side, sneering in your direction. “You think you can just go around laying your grubby paws on my wife?”

“Actually, Sir, I never touched your wife.” You reply calmly, resting an arm over the back of your chair as you turn to face him. “It was your wife who continuously threw herself at one of my own friends, even after he repeatedly asked her kindly to stop.”

“So, you’re a fucking bitch and a liar?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Should have expected that from a fat queer such as yourself.”

Your head tilts slowly in understanding. “Do you have more of an issue with me because I’m fat, or because I’m queer?”

“A smartass, too? Damn, I’m going to enjoy knocking your teeth in.” He cracks his knuckles. “No, I have an issue with you. You came onto my wife, and now you’re going to regret it.”

“I have no desire to shatter your already fragile masculinity any further, Sir.” You reply. “I’m sorry you seem to be stuck playing your wife’s desperate, attention seeking games. The two of you should strive to do better.”

“How dare you!” Rylie seethes, but is soon consoled by her husband.

“Shh, Honey, I’ve got this.” He pats her shoulder before rounding on you. His furious expression says it all. “How dare you!”

“Oh, I think we’ve got a pair of parrots on our hands.” Trisha remarks. “Too bad they can’t remember any of the important lessons.”

“Yeah, like ‘final strike and you’re out.’” Kamille hums, shooting the two of them a pointed look.

“Like hell you can kick us out of this town.” The male spits, brow creased as his face begins to turn bright red in anger.

“We can, and we will.” Trisha replies almost instantly, no remorse at all in her tone. “We’ve already warned you sufficiently. Please do not make us mad. You will not like what happens.”

“Are you threatening me?” He straightens, hands balling into fists at his sides.

You stand calmly to your feet, returning the plate to the counter where you see Nina has managed to doze off. Soft snores fall from her lips, and you spare her a small smile before turning to the couple fuming at the doorway.

“Depends,” you hum, leaning back on the counter as your cross your arms over your chest. “Do you feel threatened?”

“By you?” The man scoffs. “Not likely.”

“You should be.” You smile, and you notice them grimace slightly at how unnerving you suddenly look. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, my nieces and nephew are waiting for us to return to the festival.”

Just then, the bell above the door chimes and in walk both Yunho and Yeosang with the children in tow. A white pansy is tucked into Yeosang’s hair, just behind his ear. It seems to have been placed there very carefully so as to display his birthmark, and you just know Minnie probably had something to do with that, seeing as he holds her against his hip. Marcus holds onto Yeosang’s free hand, a yellow daffodil, a pink rose, and a sprig of lilac held in Marcus’ opposite hand. On Yunho’s back rests Delilah, her giggling suddenly cut short as she peeks over his shoulder to observe the tense scene before them.

“Auntie…” Winnie’s worried gaze is suddenly on you, and you notice how Marcus begins to tremble as he looks at the man before him.

“It’s okay, Winnie,” you smile assuringly. “We were just on our way out to meet you when Rylie returned with this fine gentleman here.”

The couple stiffens.

“Bad man.” Marcus begins mumbling, taking a wary step backwards. “You’re a bad man.”

“Don’t worry, Marcus.” You begin to usher both Kamille and Trisha out, you following close behind. “We’re finished here, anyways.”

Marcus immediately clings onto Kamille as she walks passed, Trisha taking Winnie from Yeosang’s hold instantly. You don’t even spare another look at the couple as you exit the bakery, both Yeosang and Yunho observing you carefully.

Only, you don’t manage to get very far outside of the shop.

“Don’t you walk away from me, you bitch.” The man grabs your arm, quite harshly at that.

Two low growls get muffled by the bustling sounds of the festival around you.

“Sir, I recommend you release my arm before you come to regret it.” You state calmly, angling your body away from him as a crowd begins to form around you.

“The only thing I’ll come to regret is not putting your smartass in your place.” He spits, tightening his hold over your arm.

You sigh, shaking your head as you slide you bag off of your opposite arm. “Trish, be a dear and hold my bag.”

Wordlessly, she grabs it from you.

You turn your full attention back to the man in front of you.

“This is your last warning,” you meet his gaze with a dark look of your own and you notice how he falters slightly. “Release me before you lose this hand of yours.”

“Like you could ever harm me.”  He guffaws, purposely raising his voice for the now growing crowd.

At the side, both Yunho and Yeosang stand, tense. They can barely keep their eyes from flashing, both males beginning to tremble in rage the longer they observe this scene going on before them.

Faintly, you begin to hear whispers around you, all in defence and worry of you and how often this man seems to pick fights with absolutely anybody.

“I don’t think you’ll enjoy it very much when I knock you flat on your ass.” You comment.

He scoffs, “I’d like to see you try!”

The moment those words are out of his mouth you have him pinned on the ground, a light cloud of dust floating in the air. Your knee digs harshly into the man’s back, his arm twisted unnaturally behind him as you shove his face into the dirt.

Rylie’s hands come up to cover her mouth in shock, a silence settling around the crowd.

“I warned you.” You hum, almost condescendingly at the male beneath you.

A scowl is all you receive in response.

“Normally, I would have broken your hand for touching me, but I think the fact that you’re being kicked out of this village is punishment enough.” You spit quite harshly. “After all, you’ll need all the strength you can get in order to vacate the premises as quickly as possible.”

A moment of silence before a small cheer is erupting from the crowd, murmurs of glee reaching your ears. Many even go so far as to exclaim that this couple’s reign of terror is over.

“You bitch!” Rylie shrieks, running over to attempt to tackle you off of her husband.

Easily, you dodge her, watching as she trips over her husband’s legs and lands in the dirt beside him. Not even a second later, you stand, dusting off your knees all the while.

“Be grateful this is all that you’ve received from me.” You crack your neck, grabbing your bag back from Trisha in one fluid motion. “Now, I don’t want to hear you’ve bothered anyone else ever again, and you better hope I never see your faces around here again. You won’t like what becomes of it, then.”

Slowly, the man pushes himself to his feet, Rylie helping him stand all the while.

“Get back here, cunt!” He bellows, closing the distance between the both of you in a few great bounds and swinging for the back of your head with his fist.

A sickening crunch sounds around the area, followed by a pained filled cry and a high pitched shriek of horror.

Turning reveals Yeosang crushing the man’s fist in his grip, his eyes the darkest you’ve ever seen them before turning their natural gold. A snarl paints his lips as the man desperately attempts to break free from Yeosang’s grip, blood beginning to drip slowly into the dirt at the male’s feet.

“If you ever lay a hand on My Fated again,” Yeosang growls, voice ringing out loud and clear through the deadly silence that now surrounds the area. His eyes flash. “I’ll kill you.”

[evangelic-echo]

ℭ𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔓𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱

Part 3:

Part 2<

You were new to heaven, that part was obvious. Compared to the others you stood out, looking a lot different from the rest.

You were made to fit in more with the humans, God's newest creations. You had only one pair of wings instead of three, making the clear distinction that you were different from the rest. Due to your purpose being taking care of humanity, your appearances were made to fit in more with the humans than your fellow angels. All the other angels had such unique features while you were given boring human characteristics to adhere better to them.

The few, early moments of life was great. Living in harmony with the few angels that had been created along side with you. One of the being Lucifer Morningstar, known to be as God's favourite. However, you knew him to be your greatest friend up here in heaven. Since the moment of your creation he's been there, showing you the ropes and being an overall helping hand with your duties and responsibilities.

Today was the day our Father had announced the creation of humans. They were mortal beings created by the soil of the Earth, residing in The Garden of Eden. As you walked with Lucifer, all you could do was wonder about how things were going to change with the new mortals being now your new priority.

"Birdie?"

You looked to your left to see Lucifer looking at you with a longing look on his face.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that Luci?"

"You just remind me of a Bird that's all! I love those two wings of yours."

You brought your focus back to the girl before of you, cursing those pitiful thoughts away.

"Hi! It's so so soo nice to meet you! My name is Charlotte but you can call be Charlie, I'm so happy that Heaven is giving us another chance!"

Being preoccupied with your own thoughts, you hadn't noticed that the young woman had gotten up from her seat to greet you. Now that she was more closer to you, you took note of her other features you hadn't noticed before. Like her height for example, she definitely gotten that end of the stick from her mother.

Another thing you noticed is that while greeting you, she kept both her hands behind her back, not showing any effort to properly greet you with a handshake.

Rude...

Deciding to look past it, you extend your hand towards her instead as you introduced yourself. However, Charlie instead looks down to your arm, hesitating to reciprocate.

"Not to be rude, but uh, Adam tried the same to thing during my first meeting with him."

"Excuse me?!"

You would have never of thought that on this Saturday morning, instead of being at home, watering your plants and chilling on your bed. Your instead dealing with Lucifer's daughter, who he apparently didn't think to teach her basic manners.

"I know you're a hologram, you're up there in Heaven while I'm down here in Hell."

Now you're even more confused. Hologram? Was she not up here in Heaven?

Impulsively, you reach for Charlie's arm, but instead of you grabbing onto her scarlet red sleeve, your hand just falls through while her arm glitches out. You call out to the Cherub as you exit the room, seeking answers as to why it was crucial for you to take part in this fancy ass facetime where you essentially spend your whole day in a room alone, because the only other person you'd be speaking to isn't even physically in the room with you.

"You called me Ma'am?"

"Please tell me why both mine and the princesses time is being wasted by making us communicate through these shitty holograms?!"

"Heaven has always communicated with Hell this way Miss. I- uh, can't do anything about that. Sera believes that..."

You started to tune out the Cherub as he mentioned the Seraphim's name, you could care less about whatever the little creature was preaching about. Turning your back towards the angel, you opened a portal to the embassy down in Hell. Your not against technology or whatever, but using holograms instead of basic face to face communication was just too much for you.

"What are you doing?!! Creating a portal to Hell is absolutely unacceptable! If you step through that Sera will..."

You stepped through the portal without a second thought, cutting off the Cherub.

"I didn't think you were coming back"

Looking around you noticed that the embassy here in Hell looked exactly the same one back up in Heaven. If it wasn't for the fact that you could feel a physical difference between here and Heaven, you would've thought you opened a portal to the meeting room you were previously in.

"So sorry for the hiccup dear, I just prefer to speak face to face when it comes to matters such as this."

"Right! Of course, I completely agree. Well- uhm, it's nice to 'officially' meet you"

Without hesitation this time she extends her hand in your direction and you, of course, take her hand into yours, reciprocating her greeting. Internally taking back the initial thoughts you had of her only a few seconds ago.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Charlotte"

You were sitting on one end on the unusually large table while Charlie was sat on the other, ranting incredibly fast while pitching her Hazbin Hotel to you. You absolutely did not have the heart to tell her this meeting was scheduled to talk about the shit show of the recent extermination. You also had to admit that this hotel had caught your interest after speaking to that Sir Pentious guy. But looking at Charlie now as she tells you about this project so passionately brought you back to those old memories of you and Lucifer as he would tell you about his plans for the Garden of Eden with that same passion and ambition, which honestly weighed down on your heart a lot more than you'd like to admit.

"Even with the destruction of our hotel during the exterminations, it allowed us to undergo huge renovations which have led to the Hotel looking the best it ever has since opening!"

"With all due respect Charlie, but the exterminations were literally yesterday. It's hard to believe you constructed a whole hotel after it got obliterated in a single night."

"With the help with mine and my Dad's magic, as well as the rest of the residents, we were able to build the Hotel from scratch! With even more rooms and wayy better infrastructure! If only I could prove to you how amazing it looks now! I may have a picture on my phone if you give me a second..."

As she pulled out her phone, humming and muttering to herself as she was browsing for said photo. You got up from your seat and walked towards the door, realising that she could in fact show you the new and improved hotel. Noticing that you were walking towards the exit, she lowers her phone as she focuses her gaze on you instead.

"Hey, uhh- I found the picture!"

"Or you could show me your newly renovated hotel now, in person. It's nearby is it not?"

"Really?! Yeah it's a few blocks down but I didn't think you'd want to venture further than this room."

Charlie did have a point, walking out and around on the streets of hell wasn't a great idea considering you weren't from around here. It's possible that the majority wouldn't be able to notice, but it takes just one demon to notice your energy being very different than the traditional hell spawn. But that should be fixed with a quick portal.

"Oh that's no problem at all. Although, I do have certain expectations for when I'm there."

Charlie, evidently excited to show off her hotel to someone new, nodded her head in response as she waited for you to continue.

"I want to see Lucifer."

A/N: It's been sooo long since I posted and I lowkey missed sitting down and just writing. ALSO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE FOLLOWS🫶. The taglist has significantly grown as well. If you want to be added just feel free to just comment and I’ll add you to it on the next update, which I promise is coming soon!!

Taglist: @alientee @froggybich @simbalioness @elementwind91 @tsukiko26 @weirdgirlislonely

[thatone-brightstar]

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 3: Pin a Fox skin to the wall, call it decoration

Words: 4.9k

Summary: With a few drinks in, you both confess your feelings. But there's always something getting in the way.

a/n: I am the gift that keeps on giving! So here's the next chapter cuz I feel shitty just leaving it in my documents and you all have been so nice! Enjoy! xx

P.S. Reader is Latina in this, so there's gonna be melanin for daysss.

“How much longer do you think you're gonna be?!” Syd yelled at her phone through the noisy bar.

Everyone was on a different wave of conversation, ranging from sports to food to whatever new show they were hooked on. The buzz of chatter around them combined with the pulsing music and lack of food in his system was enough to create a growing migraine in Carmy’s head. He gladly took a swig of the beer in front of him to dumb out the increasing sensation as he waited for Syd to hang up on you. He thought their reaction to joining them would be one of distaste or discomfort but his first drink had been on Sweeps, who was glad to finally see him outside the perimeters of The Beef. 

“I like what you’ve done to the place.” He said after finishing the second beer. “But you gotta lighten up, man. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Also you could use a tan. Try going out in the sun every once in a while!” He joked and a genuine laugh had left Carmy’s lips for the first time in forever.

“She’s on her way!” Sydney yelled to the table and everyone acknowledged it before returning to their conversations.

“Does she know I’m here?” He asked her over the noise, a bit concerned whether he wanted to know the answer or not.

“Yeah! I told her we’re all here!” She answered and of course she would tell you, because as far as they were concerned, nothing out of the ordinary had happened between you two.

His hand began to grow clammy and he took another hefty swig of the amber liquid to try and calm the nerves down. At least the music was loud enough to drown out the sound of his thoughts, he'd have to make due with that for now. The chatter transitioned into anecdotes about the stupidest things they had done as teens and they spent the next ten minutes debating whether Angel stealing single batteries from the family packs at Walmart counted as kleptomania or not. By his third beer, he felt his shoulders lose a bit of the perpetual weight that had been sitting on them since he had arrived back in Chicago; the music felt more bearable, his laughs lighter and his nerves almost down to a hum. 

They had been lucky enough to get a booth table by the windows, the sight of River North’s night life was in full bloom behind the old stained glass and his eyes wandered to the new perspective he had been granted of the old neighborhood. Between neon signs and moving cars he saw you from afar. Standing patiently for the little human to move on the crosswalk light. You looked like a radiant ray of moonlight, with loose curls framing your face like a dark halo and even though he had found you absolutely beautiful with your paint splattered overalls, this was something entirely different, something that would have him losing his balance if he wasn’t already sitting down.

He watched you move your boot-covered feet closer towards the bar, and with each stride on the long skirt, the slit up your thigh revealed a glimpse of lovely tan skin with swirling designs he had known no existence of until then, but now wanted to discover more of. Golden rings contrasted against the black jacket covering your arms as you raked your fingers through your hair and turned towards the window where he had shamelessly been gawking at you. A small smile covered your previous serious features and you waved nervously before disappearing through the entrance.

He shuffled in his seat and wished he would have at least run some water through his hair before leaving, but looking around at everyone’s post work attire, he figured he’d be fine. A cheer of ‘Hey's was heard through the group as you approached the table and you made a little dance once you reached them. You scooted into the booth beside the edge by Carmy and threw a nervous smile in his direction.

“Sorry I’m late! Two fuckin Ubers canceled on my last minute. I swear I was about to start walking!” You yelled exasperated.

“Well you’re already two drinks behind so start catchin’ up!” Marcus said, calling the waiter over and ordering another round of beers and a double  shot of tequila for each one.

“Oh it’s gonna be like that then, huh?!” You asked him with raised brows and a smile.

“Uhh, yeah!” He mimicked you in a pitched valley girl accent and the table roared in laughter.

They went around talking about their day and how Richie, as he does, had death threatened Fak for suggesting he should go to anger management classes. Your shoulder rubbed alongside Carmy’s in the small booth as you laughed at their stories and the friction along with your delicate perfume was making it hard to concentrate on anything at all. He took a couple of fries from the dish at the center of the table to keep his mouth occupied as he listened to Syd and you argue about the best contestant in a new baking show you were both watching. 

The shots came with cheers, and as everyone took the small glass in one hand and a lemon wedge in the other, they went around the table to say something they cheered for,

“I’m thankful that I got tomorrow off so I can get as hammered as I want!” Cheered Sweeps and it was followed by a choir of Boo’s from everyone.

“I guess I'm thankful that I got a job that I actually like.” Marcus continued and the Boo’s turned to Aw’s.

“And I’m very thankful for you, bunch of idiots.” You finished shily and only Marcus, who was sitting across from you, noticed your eyes linger a little too long on Carmy.

Their little glasses clinged against one another and everyone downed the transparent liquid with a scrunched face. 

The conversations broke into groups again, and he took his shot at catching your attention before anyone else. He gently bumped his shoulder against yours while he took a sip of alcohol for courage. From his side view he saw you had turned up to look at him and noticed you swallow hard scanning his features. When he turned to you, a soft smile covered your face and it was hard not to smile back.

“Hey” You whispered, bumping your shoulder back to his softly.

“You..um, you look really nice.” He said leaning towards you so you could hear him better above the music, and also so no one else would  notice his words. 

His breath ghosted over the skin of your ear and you were thankful for the jacket covering your already bumpy skin.  

“Thank you.” You whispered, cheeks warm.

“Look, I’m sor-“ 

“I’m sorry for-“

You interrupted each other, then laughed waiting for the other to continue. 

“You go.” You insisted.

He breathed in deep and turned his torso towards you to give himself a false sense of privacy in the crowded space. “I’m really sorry If I made you feel uncomfortable… back at the office.” He started and his eyes jumped between yours trying to decipher your thoughts through your expressions. “That was not cool and kinda creepy and I don’t want you to go because of me-”

“Wait-”

“You’re a great addition to the team, honestly one of the best, you’re good at calming Richie when he gets stressed and you're fast and precise, and you're good for me too-” He kept rambling, his gaze now focused in his hands.

“Carmy-” You tried to interrupt again with no avail.

“And I’d hate for you to leave cause I’m an impulsive jackass and I wouldn’t know what to do if I.. couldn’t see you.. anymore.” He finished swallowing hard, his eyes dragged slowly from his hands to your features and he grew scared of the confession that had left his mouth under the rambling.

All his words separately meant something different, they meant a thank you, a praise, a gentle pat on the back. But not like this, not all together, jumbled and tied with a string of revelation that there might be something more than what he was saying. He saw your chest raise with the motion of a heavy breath and your eyebrows were scrunched in concentration over his face. The background noise had been covered over by the thumping of blood rushing to his head and for a second his heart stopped at the idea that he had dug himself a deeper grave than he had wished for. He stared back at your eyes unable to look away, the ‘Fuck it’ from a couple hours ago now sour on his tongue.

“Do you wanna talk outside?” You whispered leaning forward so he could hear you, brows still knotted together.

You didn’t wait for his answer as you reached down to his tightly clasped hands and wedged your fingers carefully to get them to separate. You held on tightly then began to slip out the booth telling everyone you were gonna get more drinks for the table, before getting lost in the sea of bodies standing around. He let you guide him through the free spaces between the swaying crowd of drunks as he did his best to calm the growing anxiety in his chest. All he could concentrate on were your delicate fingers brushing softly around his hand.

This is what he wanted, right? This is why he had come knowing you would be here, to tell you how he felt, to clear things up, and since the cat’s head was already out the bag, might as well let the rest of the body out. 

‘Let it rip’ his brother’s words danced in his mind and he smiled humorlessly at how they teased him with how easy it sounded to do so.

**********

Fuuuck. You had not planned this far ahead. At least not this early into the night. You expected to do this with maybe another three drinks in your system, when you could still hold a serious conversation without crying for getting rejected cause the voice in your head would slur that it was his loss and that you were still a bad bitch. It also didn’t help that you had smoked a bit while getting ready and the cloudy haze around your brain had not subsided. You were coherent, yes, which was important, however you were not very good with your self control and with the way your throat had closed up at the sight of his profile while he simply took a drink, god you knew this was gonna be hard. 

His confession still swam in the swampy waters of your foggy brain as you pulled both of you through the crowded space. Your hand was tightly wrapped around what you could hold of his and when you finally spotted an exit, your heart leaped in your chest at the idea of how the conversation would go. The emergency door stood tall between the bathroom entrances, an inaudible creek vibrated through the metal as you pushed yourself against it and a cold breeze of air welcomed your face when you both stepped out into the alley. You expected a few smokers to linger around, but then again many who did choose to smoke did it in front of the place, not the side alley like rats; so you were alone. Great.

You finally let go of his hand, a cold absence replacing it, then leaned against the wall in front of the metal exit, staring at him. He took a cigarette from the packet inside his jacket and lit it, mimicking your actions by the door. He took a couple calming drags while both of you thought about what you were gonna say next. 

You could play this two ways: One. Pretend like you hadn’t understood what he said at the booth and say the whole office thing had been a misunderstanding. A little gaslighting wouldn’t hurt, right? It was for your own good anyway, the both of you. The pessimist in you was sure Carmen didn’t know what he was getting into and he already had enough problems trying to get the restaurant off the ground to add yours to the mix. 

And two, Tell him how you felt, fuck the rule. You had known him long enough to know he wasn’t the type of guy you established the rule for in the first place. He was nothing similar to the mutherfuckers you had met in your other jobs, he was nice and patient and cared more about others than he liked to admit; and for fuck’s sake if the bar was already on the floor, finding someone like that and also have him be hot, was not a common occurrence. 

You took your eyes off your boots scraping the pavement to look at him. ‘Why is he so hot and so miserable?!’ you thought as you watched him with his cigarette, the gloss in your eyes making any source of light into twinkling stars. His eyes met yours and normally you would avert your gaze. Normally, however, you would not be in this situation and normally you would not be feeling this angry all of a sudden. 

“You thought I was gonna leave?” You asked. ‘Solid start’.

“I thought I freaked you out.” He shrugged. “You walked out on me.”

“Yeah, and how did you expect me to react?” You respond a little more defensive than you intended. 

“Look, I know it was fucked and I’m sorry, okay? I just-” He took another drag to calm himself down then looked back at you, ocean eyes harboring a storm. “I don’t know what happens to me… when you're around. You make my chest not hurt as much and I- It feels easier to breathe with you.” 

You stayed silent, staring at him through hooded eyes and heavy breaths, trying to keep your mind clear because how could you concentrate on anything when he spoke so sweetly about you? You had to keep reminding yourself that this was for the best. Around you, the low rumble of the music vibrating past the walls could still be heard, like a distant world existing outside your current bubble of angst.

“Wh-what did you mean?” He asked after a long silence and he noticed the confusion in your blank stare. “When you said you needed to get me out your system, what was that?” 

Carmy noticed the subtle change in your expression, how your shoulders tensed and you diverted your gaze to anything else but him. You wanted to shout that it meant exactly that, he was so deep in your thoughts that some days you had caught yourself shamelessly daydreaming about the two of you together, in any way possible. But the last rational part in your brain held your tongue from speaking, you couldn’t say it, there was too much at risk to do so and he was not helping with the way his words were making your chest swell. You were getting angry because this would be so much easier if he was just another asshole. 

You shrugged looking at him. “Nothing, i-it just came out.” ‘Gaslighting it is.’ 

He exhaled a humorless laugh, his eyes still trained on you. “You’re a shitty liar, you know that?” He said with a last drag of his cig before flicking it to the ground and stomping on it.

He raked a hand through his hair and shameful observation had taught you that this meant Carmy was getting stressed.

“Okay, fine! You wanna know?!” You finally spat with anger, “Because I fuckin’ like you, Carmen!” You raised your arms in exasperation. “Because you have no fuckin’ idea what it does to me when you look at me like-like that!” His gaze was fixated on you, head slightly tilted down and to the right, jaw tensed. His brows dropped lower in a scowl and a jolt of lightning traveled down your back at his expression.

“And why didn’t you say anything!” He yelled back.

“Oh, seriously?! What did you want me to say? I need two roast beef sandwiches, hold the peppers and FYI Carmy, I got a crush on you?!”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know then?!” He said in frustration, taking a step closer to you and the height difference was significantly more noticeable when he wasn’t shrinking into himself.

“You weren’t supposed to, that’s the fuckin’ point!” His shoulders fell slightly and the strength in your voice lowered. “I just... needed to get over you and you’d never know. Get you out my system with someone else and never have to mention it.”

Carmy tried to ignore the flashes of your rosy cheeks and short breaths, panting under someone else. ‘This is not the time.’ he reminded himself.

“So, what? You were just gonna leave me believing I did somethin’ wrong to you when you actually liked me?”

“I wasn’t gonna leave.” You whispered. The words get caught on your tongue and you take a deep breath before continuing.

“But the last time I liked someone at my job it… It didn’t turn out right.” You struggle to calm your racing thoughts, his eyes a distracting lighthouse guiding you back in. His brows knitted together. “I don’t wanna go through that again, Carmy” You said defeated.

“You don’t know if it’s gonna be the same.” His voice pleaded just above a whisper, lower than you were used to when it came to him or his cousin.

“I don’t think I can risk it.” You whispered back, doing your best to keep the tears under control.

You were both silent for a while, until Carmy began to shake his head slowly.

“No, no, no you don’t get to do that, okay? You don’t get to tell me you like me then immediately blow me off cause some asshole in the past hurt you.” He took the last two strides in your direction, his chest now so close you could feel the heat radiating from his body.

You pushed yourself against the wall from the sudden proximity. Your breath seized in your lungs as you felt both his hands cup the sides of your face and tilt it up to stare deep into the pits of your eyes. You swallowed hard at all the scenarios flashing through your head, the turn of events giving you whiplash. He lowered his forehead slowly to yours, your eyelashes fluttered trying to close, but your eyes were fixed on his. Carmy’s face was so close, you could feel the heat off his breath. The smell of tobacco that lingered around you and mixed with the smokey wood scent that seemed to cling to him after a long workday, had your head grasping onto the last threads of self control left in  you.

“Tell me to stop. Tell me to stop and I’ll do it, I’ll never touch you again or mention it, I promise.” He rambled, a soft desperation clear in his voice. “I won’t even look in your direction but please, please don’t ever think for a second that I would do anything to hurt you.” He whispered.

Even in the darkness of the alley, you could tell his irises had swallowed the last drop of blue, now so dark and glossy you could see your own despair reflected back to you. You swallowed hard to get rid of the cottonmouth and his eyes flickered towards your lips for less than a second. ‘God, why couldn’t you just say yes?!’ Your head screamed at you through the dissipating smog of weed and untampered emotions.

He had not only given you his heart on a golden platter, but had plated it himself and set the table for you, too. Now it was solely your decision if you wanted to take it or not, if you wanted to guard his heart next to yours for safekeeping or let it finish crumbling on the grime covered pavement. You stared at his features in contemplation and scanned your brain for all the ways it told you this could go wrong. And yet, even after a thousand scenarios came up, you held in protective arms the few ones that bloomed a warm excitement in your chest. You wanted to, even if it was just this once, to be fearless, jump into the unknown regardless of the outcome. You truly did.

“It’s not that easy.” You whispered, shutting your eyes to avoid the look of hurt haunting over his. His hands faltered their grip on your face and soon a cold rush of air replaced the warm contact.

You reopened your gaze to see him standing with his hands now resting on the brick beside your head, defeated. His stare was glued to his tattooed skin, not even daring to look directly at you anymore and you knew, he was withdrawing back to the depths of his mind where one goes when you’ve been completely shattered. You could see his jaw tense up, probably in anger and he was well in his right to be so. He had bared his feelings to you and you had massacred them all over the walls in less than five words. ‘It’s better like this.’ You tried to convince yourself.

“I’m so sorry Carmy, but I-I can’t-”

He cleared his throat then pushed himself back with enough force that it almost felt like he had pulled on an invisible string against your chest.

“No- uh, no I get it.” he sniffled “You’re right, it’s better this way.” He did his best to avoid your gaze, settling it on anything around the empty alley. “I’m gonna go buy the drinks and then head home.”  He said walking back to the door.

You watched still from your position by the wall how he reached for the handle pulling the metal open. An immediate rumble of bass surrounded the once empty area as Carmy walked halfway in then stopped. He slightly turned his head in your direction, eyeing you over his shoulder.

“Don’t-uh.. don’t worry about.. this.” He said to you over the music. “I meant what I said about not sayin’ anythin’.” He rose his head to the sky for a couple seconds then back down. “So, don’t worry about it.” The gravel under his feet groaned as he turned to look at you one last time, “See you at work, chef.”

He was gone with a slam of the door. You stayed motionless, fixated on the space his body had occupied only seconds before. The ghost of his touch still tingled on your face and it took you an unspeakable amount of strength to not break down for the second time that day. It was already atrocious enough that you had committed what was probably the second worst mistake of your life by letting him go, but if you let yourself fall apart in a dingy unlit back alley of some bar, you have truly found a point lower than you thought possible. So with a very, very shaky breath and with the vast expertise as a teen with an overprotective mother, you pulled yourself together, sniffled back the tears and made your way inside ready to pretend like the last fifteen minutes had never happened.

When you reached the booth with your friends, a tray of five shots sat untouched on the table and a sour taste invaded your mouth to see the sixth had been downed and turned upside down at the end of the tray. 

“Carmy said your mom called, is everything okay?” Sydney asked as soon as you were in earshot, the pit in your stomach grew again  because even after hurting him, he still considerate enough to cover for your absence.

“Uh… yeah she’s fine. Just wanted to know when I’d be back.” You lied as you slid back into the booth.

With no hesitation, you reached for one of the glasses and downed it straight, no lemon. Syd gave a confused look to your expressionless face and even reached for one of the glasses to prove it was actually alcohol when you were laughing at Angel and Macus’ arm wrestling.

The liquid burned a distracting path down your throat and kept your attention diverted enough from the emotions you knew you’d have to figure out when the fog had lifted. For now, at least you would allow yourself to play with the idea that everything was fine and that your chest wasn’t shattering with every whiff of his lingering scent that permeated on your jacket.

The rest of the night was a blur of strawberry daiquiris, tequila shots, terrible karaoke and the guys competing over who could throw the furthest a traffic cone they found off the side of the road while walking you and Syd home, at almost four in the morning. They had dropped you off with a chorus of slurred ‘bye byess’ and kept walking in the direction of “Adventure” as Sweeps had called it. On your way up, the usual still stairs had become a workout to climb and Syd had almost landed on her ass on the second and third floor, before tripping on the forth and sliding belly first down half the flight of stairs. You did your best to contain the laughter after seeing her reaction to finally landing with nothing but a bruised chin and ego, but her surprised face was enough to have you slumping on the last step and heaving with tears in your eyes. After you both caught your breath, you reached towards her and held her hand until you were in the safety of your room.

You giggled drunk while changing into your pajamas and turned to Sydney, telling her about your foolproof plan of going home with a stranger to get Carmy out of your head.

“I don’t get it.. why not jus’ like, bang Carmy, right? And get it over with?” She said between hiccups as you both climbed into your bed.

“It’s jus’ not the same!” You whined, turning off the light. “He’s too good for that.” You heard Syd groan beside you and you’re glad the lights were off so she couldn’t see you rolling your eyes at her. “He is!”

You shimmied under the covers and stared at the glow in the dark stickers on your ceiling, the alcohol making them swim around the blank canvas like shooting stars.

“He’s sweet and kind and… funny in like a fucked up, kinda tragic way..” you giggle “and he’s so fuckin’ hot, Sydney! So hot! Every time he looks at me with those eyes I want him to bend me over the expo an-“ you feel a soft smack against your face and the plushness of the pillow drowns out your laughs. 

Syd groaned in disgust at the image you planted in her head “Dude gross! Why would I ever need to know that?!” She said taking the pillow back from you. 

You giggled again and turned to Syd’s silhouette, softly combing back the braids that rested on her shoulder to distract yourself. “I think I really fucked up tonight, Syddy.” You finally admitted in the darkness of your safe space and heavily intoxicated. 

Sydney hummed in question and you knew you only had a few moments of clarity before falling unconscious. You took the end of one of her braids and used it to tickle under her nose to keep her awake a little longer while you failed to understand the many emotions in your head.

“I think he hates me now.” You said softly, a small tear sliding out your eye and quickly disappearing into the soft fabric of your pillow.

She scratched at her nose in frustration then slightly slapped her palm against your forehead. You laughed softly but continued to bug her.

“He could never hate you, he loves you too much.” She mumbled carelessly, readjusting herself and swinging a leg up on your hip under the duvet.

Your cheeks felt warm at the idea of love and even though you knew it was too soon to call it that, you couldn’t avoid the fuzzy feeling the word brought to your insides. ‘Oh to be loved’ you thought ‘and by Carmy of all people’. 

“You can’t know that.” You said with a sniffle, caressing the tip of her braid now on your own nose. You liked how it tickled.

Syd sighed before lifting her head as best she could in her drunk and half asleep state and slurred your name “Please, that man has been tripping-over-his-feet in love with you since day one.” She paused to pull her hair from your hands and adjust the pillow under her. “You two are the only idiots who haven’t noticed.” Then laid her head back down with a soft smack.

A new sensation filled your chest, one you hadn’t really given a name to before because there hadn’t been a reason to. It was a warmth that spread from the crown of your head down to the tips of all your extremities as your friend’s words floated in your head. A slow smile extended across your face and with the last waves of consciousness you decided to put an end to all the doubt and talk to him tomorrow, the stupid rule be damned. 

Capter 4.

Taglist: @pearlstiare and that’s it lmao

[personasintro]

Halloween Special | Mutual Help

A part of Mutual Help series! | photo credit

pairing: mh!jungkook x reader

warnings: explicit language

genre: fluff

word count: 2k+

a/n: this has no plot, basically zero storyline as well but I still hope you enjoy reading this & get more insight into their friendship! this is from the time before their deal!

“Who owns this house again?”

Can it be even called that? Where you and your friends are currently at is more like a mansion. One you barely get to see in person. The rich neighborhood and fancy cars around is enough of a clue that whoever lives in this mansion is freaking rich. It's the type you only see in movies.

“Taehyung's latest fuck.” Jimin responds, looking around the huge entry hall filled with people dressed in different costumes.

“She's not the latest.” Taehyung beside you rolls his eyes at Jimin, correcting him.

“Does she know that?” you question, met with an amused grin.

“No, why would she?” Confusion curls his features. He's wearing an orange overall, an unmistaken prisoner. “She fucks around too.”

It's not like Taehyung sleeps around with the same person. Not that you know much about his sex life, despite he's not shy to talk about it at all. He prefers to do one night stands. It's easier that way, he says.

“And she still invited you and your friends?”

He shoots you a toothy grin. “I guess she couldn't get enough of this cock.”

“Ew, what the fuck!” you exclaim, scrunching your nose as you push him away from you. Taehyung barely budges, laughing at the look of disgust on your face while Jimin rolls his eyes.

Taehyung refused to put a mask on or paint on his face. “I won't be covering this handsome face.”

That's what he told you when you first saw him. His costume is not exactly creative, but he does look good. But that's because he's already handsome and could pull off anything, not just anyone has this privilege.

“I need to look hot, chicks love this kind of costume.” You remember his voice in a cab on your way here.

As for Jimin, he chose more of a flashy costume and unlike Taehyung, he didn't mind to paint his face. Considering you've painted his face, you will take full credit for how good he looks. No need to mention you've painted it based on a picture he showed you. But still! It's your hands that created this masterpiece.

Jimin isn't one of those scary clowns wearing a big curly red wig. He has stuck to his blond hair, slicked it back while wearing what seems like an ancient blouse and pants. If he wasn't your friend, you would definitely think of him as a hot creature. The few eyes and looks your friends have managed to steal says it all.

And you?

You've had the hardest time to come up with any costume. You didn't want to spend too much money on something you wear for one night. Taehyung's ideas were all… too much.

“You should be a cat woman. You know, the one from Batman.”

One of his ideas.

“Be a sexy nurse, everyone loves that.”

It's over done a lot. Every year.

Despite not caring about Halloween parties at all – because you wouldn't come if it wasn't for Jimin and Taehyung – you wanted to look good and not wear one of those cliché costumes that people wear every year. You've seen two “nurses” already and you've been here for five minutes.

“Be a police woman. We can have matching outfits.”

But then…

“No, actually let's not do that. People are gonna think we're together and I don't want to be cockblocked that night.”

It was a nice idea but coming to a party as a police woman just wasn't the one.

“Be a witch. That would go with your personality.”

He joked and earned a slap to his shoulder.

Trying to stay true to the budget, you improvised and came up with your own costume. Okay, you might've bought a dress for this but it was on sale! Overall the costume didn't cost much. You've put some fake blood onto the dress and the corner of your lips. You're supposed to look like a bride with a spooky twist. It's not exactly original either but so far, you haven't seen anyone else dressed like this. You know you could do better if you truly wanted, get more creative. But there's also a budget you tried to stick to. Plus, you've done your make-up nicely, dark but nice.

“Alright, excuse me now, my friends. I see her and I'm gonna say hi.” He brushes past you, already shooting a wide grin toward a girl you suppose lives in this mansion.

“Do you think he's gonna fuck her again?” you ask before thinking. “Actually, don't answer that.”

Jimin laughs beside you, brushing his fingers through his hair. “I wouldn't put it past him.”

“Want a drink?”

You agree, a drink sounds nice. You don't know anyone here. Taehyung and Jimin are only people you know. And considering Taehyung just totally ditched you as soon as he saw a girl he fucked, you're left with Jimin.

“You can go too.” You make sure to tell Jimin when you make your way to the kitchen. The size of it is bigger than the place you live in.

“Don't be silly,” Jimin chuckles. “We're gonna have fun together. Tae will join us for sure later.”

You don't want to think what he's going to do until then.

“Jimin, I'm not a kid. You don't have to babysit me.”

“I'm not babysitting you,” He frowns, mixing the two of you a drink before he hands you one of the plastic cups. “There are too many people. I'm not saying it's dangerous here, but leaving you alone wouldn't sit well with me.”

You do appreciate his worry. Too bad Jungkook couldn't come. Not that spending time with Jimin and Taehyung isn't fun. But you were hoping he could join you too. You've never really attended a Halloween party before. It would be so much fun if all of you could be here.

After finishing your drink and chatting for a while, you get another one and move toward the living room where the lights are turned off, swapped for some party lights. It looks like a proper party here. There are people dancing. You and Jimin find yourself laughing at some silly costumes. You saw a banana costume and someone wearing a horse mask.

You have a good time. Someone Jimin knows joins you for a moment, one of his friends whose name you unfortunately forgot. It's not your fault though, the music is loud and you felt like an idiot to ask him again.

Jimin goes to grab you another drink, telling you to not move with a warning gaze, as if you would run away. Again, you appreciate the worry.

It's not even a minute later when some guy approaches you, obviously already in a good mood and tipsy enough to think he's the hot deal. You politely tell him to fuck off, ignoring the little scoff he gives you. You didn't come here to flirt or hook up with someone. Maybe you shouldn't scare away everyone. It's not exactly everyone though. You just don't like those types of guys who–

“Boo!”

You almost jump out of your skin and curse loudly, palm slapping against your chest as you turn around and see… a Spiderman?

You frown, guard up until the person suddenly takes off the mask and reveals your best friend.

“Jungkook?”

His hair is ruffled from the mask, a bunny grin attached to his lips as he laughs at your reaction.

“What–what are you doing here?”

He said he couldn't come because he had work. A Halloween party is not something you decline the money for, you completely understood that.

“We rescheduled the shoot,” he answers.

“But–wow. Why didn't you say you were coming?”

He grins again, cheekily adding; “Wanted to surprise you.”

You haven't seen him for two weeks or so. Everyone has been busy, Jungkook the most and last weekend you were hanging out with Jimin and Taehyung, he went on a weekend away with Kiko. They had it planned for weeks. So it's nice to see him in the flesh.

“Look at you,” he beams, staring you up and down. “A bloody bride.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “It's such a shitty costume.”

“Don't say that,” he laughs, “You look amazing.”

“I should've tried to be more creative. Just so you know, I could've nailed it. I have this costume in my mind, but I wasn't about to spend a fortune on one night.”

“Smart,” he muses. “What is this costume?”

“I'm not telling you,” you cheekily remark. “But look at you,”

Jungkook eyes himself, looking up with a smile.

His costume makes sense. You've watched Spiderman movies together (all of them) so many times. It's one of your favorite superheroes, both of you Marvel fans, but it's definitely Jungkook's favorite.

The lights aren't too bright but looking at him, you can tell his costume is not one of the cheap ones. It hugs his body perfectly, showing his figure and god–it feels sinful to look from his waist down. You can't do that. He glances behind, turning his body slightly before his attention is back to you. But it's not quick enough for you to not notice his perk ass. But then… Jungkook has always been built differently. He has worked hard for those muscles.

“Stop it,” he laughs at your words, refusing to grow shy. “Behave.”

“I'm not even gonna ask how much it cost.”

“Don't,” he assures you. “Too much for one stupid night.”

You both laugh. “You had a great opportunity to show up as a bunny.”

Jungkook playfully rolls your eyes at your comment, scrunching his nose a little. “Nah. I didn't want to be cute.”

“What vibe you were going for?” you tease.

“The hot superhero, of course.”

“God, you and Tae are the same.” you comment jokingly.

“Where is he anyway? I saw Jimin from a distance.”

“Oh, most likely having his tongue in some girl's throat I guess. Or worse.”

Jungkook laughs at the disgust you show, flicking your nose softly as you pull away. “I'm not even gonna ask.”

“Don't.” you hum, causing him to laugh. “I'm still bummed out you didn't come as a bunny though. You have a face for it.”

Jungkook throws his head back in laughter, shaking his head.

“No, I didn't mean it as an insult! You would look cute as a bunny.”

“We can do that next year. You could be a carrot.”

“Oh god, I'm shutting up now.”

He nudges you, causing you to do the same.

“Kook! Hi! You came!” Jimin joins you, hugging Jungkook right after he hands you your drink.

“Wait, you knew he's gonna come?” you ask. “And you didn't tell me?”

“Kook wanted to surprise you.” Jimin shrugs.

“Yeah, wanted to surprise you.” Jungkook muses, stealing the cup from you as he sips on it.

“Hey!”

“Shush, woman.”

You gasp. Jungkook's biceps bulge as he takes another sip of your drink. “Don't you shush me, Jeon.”

Jungkook gives you an amused smirk, turning his face back to Jimin who speaks again. “Where's Kiko?”

“Oh, she's not here. She had to stay overtime at work, too tired to come here anyway.” Jungkook answers.

“Jungkook-ah!”

Taehyung comes like a hurricane, bumping into a few people as they give him a dirty look, some of them changing their expression right after they spot him. You want to roll your eyes again.

“Let me guess, you knew too.”

“Knew what?” Taehyung asks, confused.

“He didn't.”

“Knew what?” Taehyung asks louder this time.

“That Kook is gonna come tonight.”

“Wait, you knew he's gonna come?”

“Yeah,” Jimin shrugs, “You have a big mouth. You would ruin the surprise.”

Taehyung gasps, “You guys act like it's a big secret.”

“It's not,” Jungkook laughs. “But we didn't want to take any chances.”

“Yah!” Taehyung exclaims. “Let's get drunk.” he adds more calmly.

All of you laugh, making your way to the kitchen. For the rest of the night, you hang out with your friends, savoring the moments. Even when Jimin throws up in front of the mansion in some fancy cut out bush, while Taehyung records him. You shake your head, but not be able to hide your own giggles. Jungkook does the same, holding up Jimin so he doesn't fall into the bush.

It's one of the many memories of tonight that joins the other ones you got to spend and experience with your precious friends.

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic Superstars!

Superstars is out! And guess what? It's good! It's a worthy new entry in the series, and I mostly like it. Mostly. Except for the handful of parts I don't. As usual, allow me to share my thoughts.

(For the record, I got the PS5 version of Superstars. I can't speak for how it plays on older hardware like the Switch, or how the weird Steam version that seems to make you log in with Epic runs. But I encountered zero performance issues, personally.)

General thoughts

The thing is, aside from two notable flaws I'll discuss in greater detail below, I can sum up my feelings on most of Superstars quickly. You see, it's... a Sonic game. This will either be a blessing or a curse depending on who you ask. It's not a bold new take on the series that'll blow you away, but they also didn't fuck it up. There's no catch this time! There's something refreshing about that straightforwardness, given how rare it is to get a regular-ass New Sonic Game from Sega. It's just a new classic-style game where you can play as Amy, set on a new island with all new zones, and Fang is in it! This might be damning with faint praise, but that's what it says on the tin, and they did a good job overall.

(It also has co-op. That's nice. I didn't play it in co-op.)

It plays exactly how it should. At no point did anything feel Wrong. The graphics might not have the absolute highest fidelity, but I think the character models look really nice, and the levels look appropriately good with vibrant color palettes. A couple zones like Sky Temple gave me Klonoa vibes, which I like. One zone is an absolutely incredible homage that I won't spoil. The story here is minimal (as expected), but there are a few good moments of telling the story through the gameplay, particularly one very cute sequence with Trip. I did find a couple stage gimmicks moderately annoying (Speed Jungle 2 and Press Factory 2, looking at you), but like... I could say the same thing about Mania, and also damn near every other Sonic game ever made. There's always That One Level. Superstars may not raise the series to new heights, but it generally executes well on the standard beats of the series. It's an easy recommendation for all fans of 2D Sonic.

Really, aside from the two big flaws (we'll get to them), this game's greatest crimes are simply not being quite as good as Mania, and also coming out the same week as the more creative and polished Super Mario Bros. Wonder. If we hadn't gotten Mania, I would easily be calling this my favorite 2D Sonic game since... what, the Advance trilogy 20 years ago? I like the Rush games, but if you asked me to replay one or the other, I might have a better time with Superstars. And, yes, it beats the hell out of Sonic 4. It's not even close. Anyone who says this game is exactly like Sonic 4 is just being a hater.

...I guess I would say that $60 is a bit steep for this, but you know it'll be on sale for a more appropriate $30-$40 in a few months. This isn't a Nintendo game we're talking about here.

Nice little tweaks

Superstars also features a number of welcome quality-of-life updates over Mania, bringing it more in line with the design ethos of modern platformers.

You have infinite lives! No more getting a game over on the final boss and having to redo the whole final zone - or, god forbid, the entire game

Time overs are gone! It'll warn you before you go over ten minutes, but I have no idea why because it doesn't kill you anymore

The game features a hub from which you can easily replay previous levels, rather than needing to beat the game or put in a cheat code to unlock the level select

This means you can easily go back and hunt for any special stage rings you missed. However, as a tradeoff, it seems like you can only get one Emerald per zone now, rather than being able to get Super Sonic by the end of the first or second zone

You can swap characters between levels! No more having to start a whole 'nother save file to play as Tails

And those characters even have optional little movement tutorial rooms available from the hub, which is great for new players who may not know about things like the Drop Dash

And, finally, checkpoints now feature arrows pointing in the direction you were supposed to be going, in case you forget upon respawning

Of course, while you might not be getting game overs, Superstars certainly compensated with some bosses that kicked my ass.

Bosses

Here's what I would consider notable flaw #1.

I have mixed feelings on the bosses in Superstars. I don't think many of them are poorly designed - in fact, a lot of them are good, and offer fun moments of spectacle. But for a 2D Sonic game, they're REALLY long and drawn out, and by the late game this was starting to get draining.

Bosses tend to be the type where you have to dodge their attack patterns for a while until you get the chance to hit them exactly once, MAYBE twice. A few bosses seem to have quicker options if you abuse your post-hit invulnerability or play as a character with a double jump, but many will either be completely invincible or run away to the background for long periods of time, making it impossible to damage them outside of the allotted windows. And even if it seems like you'll be able to get in a second hit, many bosses turn invincible and skip ahead to the next attack pattern as soon as they take the first hit. Again, most of these fights aren't BAD, but because of this behavior they sometimes take almost as long to beat as the entire levels preceding them. This didn't bother me much early in the game, but against the more challenging bosses towards the end that kept killing me several minutes into a long fight, it got tiring. The final boss of Story Mode probably took me like an hour.

While this certainly isn't an uncommon style of boss design, part of me suspects they did this for the sake of co-op players. For one, playing in co-op means that you don't necessarily have to start the entire fight over if one person dies, so I assume the length is less of an issue. But in particular, true classic-style Sonic bosses that you can just hit repeatedly with good timing would go down in a few seconds against a team of four players. Likewise, the swarm of clones from the "Avatar" Emerald power would probably obliterate every Genesis era boss with one button press. So I get why every boss needs all these invulnerability periods, but still. I at least wish they'd made some of those attack patterns shorter and given you more frequent opportunities to deal damage.

Emeralds and their powers

Speaking of the new Chaos Emerald powers: they're neat, I guess? They're fine. I didn't use them much. Actually, I kept forgetting I even had them - although the game will play a noise and show an icon in the corner of the screen to remind you any time you reach a spot where a specific power is useful. Avatar, the first power you get, is at least good for getting a couple free hits in on the trickier bosses. Yellow's ability to slow time is obviously good, but, again, I always forgot I even had it and made it through just fine without it. I was also pleased to realize that the swimming power is useful for the water levels and not just for climbing up waterfalls.

Oh, and the new grappling-based special stages kind of suck, but they're not the worst, and I'll at least give them credit for trying something new. (Motion Sickness Zone from Sonic 1 does return as a bonus minigame, but I only did it once lmao.)

Battle Mode

I haven't played Battle Mode. Couldn't tell you if it's good or not. It did, however, give us official designs for Metal Tails and Metal Amy after all these years, and also it let me make this:

...Okay, enough beating around the bush. Let's talk about the thing that REALLY drags down the experience.

The soundtrack...

(This lengthy section on the music will feature some light spoilers for things like zone names and themes.)

Now, don't get me wrong. There are some bangers in here that I've been listening to on loop. But this is one of the most inconsistent soundtracks I've ever heard, and I'm not sure I've ever played another game where the music has such a sharp dip in quality in the back half.

As anyone following this blog knows, prior to release I was a little obsessed with trying to gauge what the soundtrack would be like. "Jun Senoue" and "new Classic Sonic game" naturally evokes the memory of Sonic 4, but from the start we knew Tee Lopes was involved as well, and almost all of the music previewed before released leans more towards the sound of Sonic Mania than anything else. I was hopeful! I was excited! Jun deserved another chance at doing another classic Sonic OST, and Tee is one of my favorite game composers of all time between his Sonic material and other works like the TMNT: Shredder's Revenge OST. I frequently thought back to this Sonic 4 remix medley by Jun and Tee as a reminder that these two could really be the dream team, bringing out the best in each other's work.

Sure enough, the front half of the game is largely dominated by the Mania sound, whether it's a track by Tee himself or one by an in-house Sega artist that's compatible with his style. Pinball Carnival Act 1 by Rintaro Soma (an up-and-coming composer who wrote a bunch of the Cyber Space themes in Frontiers) takes obvious inspiration from Mania's Studiopolis Act 1, to the point that I was shocked when Sega posted the track and revealed it wasn't written by Tee. Act 2, however, forges more of its own sound by leaning into the act's spooky haunted carnival theme. And despite being the music lead, the only level theme that I know for sure was written by Senoue in the front half of the game (Bridge Island Act 1) was actually arranged by Tee Lopes to give it more of that Mania sound. Hell, the level clear jingle is literally just the one from Mania. A few level themes by other composers don't quite match that style, but they fit in well enough.

But there are early signs that this sound won't be consistent throughout the game. Our first warning of things to come is the boss music:

When early copies started floating around and the soundtrack leaked, many, many people hoped that this was merely a placeholder, like the literal Sonic 4 Episode II music used in the earliest previews of Speed Jungle, and that it'd get replaced with a day one patch. Oh, those poor, innocent fools...

Even if you don't mind the poor production with the returning Sonic 4 faux-Genesis sound, this is a very simplistic thirteen second snippet of music that then plays a second time in a higher key before it loops. This wouldn't be the end of the world if the bosses were as short as the ones in the Genesis games, of course, but they're not! This theme is used for a ton of lengthy fights throughout the game, including an EXTREMELY long and tedious autoscroller boss at the end of Golden Capital Act 2. Maybe I would've enjoyed the bosses in this game more if they were paired with some earworms that'd get me hyped up and sell how cool and exciting the fights are supposed to be, but grating songs like this just made the minutes spent fighting those bosses feel like an eternity.

Still, boss music (and menu music) aside, all of the level themes in the front half of the game ranged from decent to great, with the peak easily being the phenomenal Lagoon City Act 2 by Tee Lopes. And then... I got to the back half of the game. And the Mania style completely disappeared, replaced largely with the dreaded Sonic 4 sound. That isn't the style for EVERY song in the back half, but even the ones that try something different tend to be weaker than the material from the first six zones, with less engaging melodies and less intricate arrangement. Many sound straight up unfinished, leaning on extremely basic synth patches with no personality. And there isn't a single track from Tee in the back half. He just disappears from the project altogether.

What this means is that we go from this absolute banger by Tee Lopes in zone 6, which elevates what's otherwise a bog standard desert level to a thrilling adventure:

To... this, in zone 7:

It's EXTREMELY jarring!

The thing is, this is actually one of the better tracks in this style. I have to assume this is by Senoue, because you can totally hear a good Adventure or Heroes era Senoue track in there once you get past the crude synth replication of the Genesis era Sonic sound. Senoue is still a great composer, as you can hear clear as day with Bridge Island, but he's working with a restrictive sound palette that doesn't play to his strengths at all. If only he'd bust out that damn guitar, or at least pick some better synths.

(And no matter what people will tell you, no, this is not an accurate recreation of what the Genesis's YM2612 chip really sounded like, nor is it representative of what it CAN sound like at its best. Go back to the Streets of Rage 2 or Ristar soundtracks if you need a reminder.)

While I can at least see what the Press Factory tracks were aiming for, some other faux-FM synth tracks are just really bland. They don't have anything interesting going on, and they also don't seem particularly tailor made for the levels they accompany. They're just attempts to mimic what Sonic 1-3 sounded like on a very literal level. Take, for instance, the Golden Capital Act 1 theme, AKA "we've got Sky Sanctuary at home." While the better level themes in this game enhance the mood or even completely carry the vibes of a level, the weaker tracks can really suck all the air out of the room and make a level feel like more of a slog.

What kills me is that there are, in fact, a couple examples of how to do throwbacks to classic Sega FM synth music well on this very soundtrack! They're just not the Sonic 4 type tracks. I love the Frozen Base Act 2 theme, presumably composed by legendary Sega composer Hiroshi "HIRO" Kawaguchi, who's responsible for all-time classic arcade soundtracks like Fantasy Zone, Out Run, Hang-On, After Burner, and more, as well as the hacking and pinball themes from Frontiers. Maybe to an untrained ear this doesn't sound all that different, but it has a catchier tune, better instruments, and stronger production overall. I'm also a fan of the track for Sky Temple, which isn't perfect, but it blends a few Genesis-esque instruments like the Sonic 1+2 snare with other instruments for a richer sound. If the whole soundtrack sounded more like these examples, I'd definitely be complaining less.

I really just have to wonder... how did this happen? How did this end up being so inconsistent? Many fans on social media are jumping to the conclusion that Senoue is just extremely stubborn and refuses to ditch the style from Sonic 4. I can't deny this possibility, but some things just don't add up. The almost complete lack of "retro" style music in the promotional material. The fact that the style just suddenly shifts halfway through the game, then disappears for the final zone, as if that's not the note they want to end on. The complete lack of any tracks by Tee Lopes in the back half. The focus on the Mania-style tracks in the bonus "mini soundtrack." And most perplexing of all, the fact that three of the first tracks you hear in the game were Senoue compositions that were given extra attention with arrangements from Tee Lopes.

This is pure speculation on my part, but it almost seems like they straight up ran out of time.

Perhaps Jun wanted more of his tracks to get full arrangements from Tee, or for Tee to contribute more songs, but things were down to the wire and they chose to leave in some of the raw Sonic 4 style demos. The soundtrack being crunched out in a matter of months at the end of development would certainly explain why Speed Jungle had to be demoed without its music a mere four months ago. It'd also explain why a game that's only a few hours long needs NINETEEN composers listed in the credits. And also the fact that multiple zones just have completely different, unrelated music by different artists across their acts. Did they need multiple artists working on different acts simultaneously, completely independent from each other with no time to cross reference each others' work, due to extreme time constraints? I'd buy it.

Ah well. It's not the end of the world. I've heard worse Sonic music. But I'll always think of what could have been...

At least the final battle with Eggman at the end of Story Mode has a pretty kickass boss theme, which ALMOST makes up for how bad most of the preceding boss music is (and the fact that that very difficult fight doesn't have a checkpoint between phases and took me like an hour to beat lmao). It even seems like it might be written by longtime Phantasy Star Online composer and recurring Sonic contributor Hideaki Kobayashi. That's the guy who wrote NONAGRESSION!!!!!!!

The postgame

Speaking of beating Eggman! It turns out Superstars has a good deal of postgame content, as merely beating the last zone with all the Chaos Emeralds doesn't take you to the true final boss. In order to do that, you'll need to do something else.

Before we hit the big spoiler warning, I'm going to give any future players who are still reading a warning. If you value your sanity... don't force yourself to do all the postgame stuff. Don't make the mistakes I did. It's not worth it, and it may very well knock your personal score for the game down a couple points.

----------------------------------------------------------------

SPOILERS FOR THE STORY, UNLOCKABLES, AND THE POSTGAME BELOW THIS POINT

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

----------------------------------------------------------------

The bonus scenario

Sonic Superstars has a big surprise in store for anyone who beats the main story. For the first time since... what, Silver? In 2006? We finally have a brand new playable character in a new Sonic platformer! (I wouldn't count the player avatar in Forces as a full-fledged New Character.) Yes, after the credits roll, you unlock Trip as the super-secret fifth playable character. I was really excited to see this. Trip is cute, even if her masked appearance from early in the game is perhaps a more unique design than a Sonic-ified lizard girl who can only vaguely look like a real sungazer lizard. She IS the first new Sonic character Ohshima has designed since the '90s, though, so she gets points for that - and she gets even more points for literally turning into a dragon when she goes Super. We love a girl who can turn into a dragon, don't we folks? And her playstyle is fun, too, with a double jump and the ability to roll along walls and ceilings.

But Trip isn't just playable. Like Knuckles before her, she gets an entire alternate story mode of her own, which somewhat remixes the level layouts, generally makes things more challenging, and swaps out Eggman for Egg Robo. I was so excited to see this! It really felt like the game had so much more in store for me than I'd anticipated.

...Then I spent probably around three hours attempting to beat the new final battle with Fang at the end of Trip's Story. And it made me regret doing Trip's Story at all.

Once you learn the patterns, a lot of them are actually piss easy. But the difficulty comes down to a few misguided factors:

The fight is LOOOONG. On a successful attempt the whole thing will probably take the average player about, like... seven or eight minutes? Maybe longer? This is where I really started to get pissed at the game for making me wait through these stupid attack patterns before I could attempt to hit the boss once.

The fight is divided between two phases, one with Fang in a vehicle and another with him in a giant robot, with no checkpoint between them. Dying to one of Fang's bullshit attacks on the second phase means having to redo the ~5 minute first phase all over again. And, worst of all...

Fang has multiple projectile attacks that are guaranteed instant kills, even if you have rings.

Also there's a stupid desperation headbutt attack that can really easily catch you off guard and kill you, but I only got that far in the fight once.

It's the instant kills that got me. If those fucking immobilizing net attacks just made you drop your rings, or you could at least wiggle out of them by mashing buttons (EDIT: apparently you CAN do this but you literally have to button mash so rapidly that it's a crapshoot whether or not you'll physically be able to do it), it would have been totally doable! Kinda fun, even! Slow, but pretty cool in terms of spectacle. But nope! Three hours! Three hours on this! This is, without a doubt, the hardest boss I have ever faced in any Sonic game, period, and one of the hardest bosses I've ever seen in ANY game. All because of one attack pattern where making a tiny mistake means starting over.

The glitches didn't help, either. Something about the way the circular boss arena was set up in both stories' final battles seems to make the floor intangible sometimes for non-player objects. Occasionally my dropped rings, enemies I was supposed to knock towards Fang, or one of Fang's insta-kill projectiles would just fall through the floor randomly. This definitely wasn't my main problem, but it helped drive home the idea that this fight just wasn't worth my time.

After three hours of attempts, I gave up. I just went and looked up the ending of Trip's story, as well as the contents of the Final Story, on YouTube. Turns out I made the right call, because boy, that true final boss looks like dogshit. It's just a very dull fight against a big generic cartoon dragon. Apparently this is the thing Eggman was looking for. It appears and is defeated with little fanfare. I think I liked it better when I assumed the scary dragon being foreshadowed was just Super Trip.

...Also, hey, what's up with The End being very conspicuously visible in the background of the last zone?? I know it's just a cheeky cameo, but, like... isn't it supposed to be sealed away in Cyber Space right now? Should I be taking this literally? Does this have lore implications? This is one hell of a way to remind people that the timeline's been reunified, I guess

Closing thoughts

I really hate to part ways with Superstars on a sour note like this, because like I said up top, I mostly enjoyed my time with it! It's really just a small handful of particularly frustrating bosses and the inconsistent soundtrack that drag it down. Other than that, it's solid as a rock. Maybe wait for sales if you're not dying to play it, but it's definitely worth playing for any Sonic fan. Just... skip the true ending. I would have stepped away MUCH happier with this game if I'd done that.

I wanna try to end this on a more positive note but I'm tired, so, uhhhh... look, you can unlock a Metal Nights skin for your Battle Mode bot!!

Anyway back to jamming to about half the soundtrack on loop while pretending the other half doesn't exist, and looking forward to the continued Fang Renaissance with his upcoming IDW miniseries

[red-pill-to-swallow]

How to be attractive to men and my goals

Hey babes,

like I said – I want to incorporate RPT (Red Pill Theories) into my daily life immediately.

A few things that every women within the community seemed to be content with were:

1. You are never finished with glowing or leveling up. Never stop learning. Never stop trying to better yourself.

2. Pretty privilege is real.

I agree that pretty privilege is very real. I mean, I get affected by pretty people like everybody else, even if I don’t do it on purpose. It’s just something that is ingrained in our brains and I need to learn how to take this to my advantage.

I think I have a decent starting base, because I’m a skinny white woman in her twenties with long blonde hair. I am not really tall – even short men are at least 5-7cms taller than me – but I’m also not extremely short.

I have a petite frame but my body-shape is something between an hourglass and a peach. My face is average – I don’t really have striking features or am a natural beauty model – but my features also aren’t hideous. It’s really just something you can look at without thinking too much.

On a scale, I would rate myself a 5,5-6/10 on an average day and I guess that’s great!

But how can I make myself look better on a daily basis? I really took hours to research how I could make myself more attractive to wealthy and high value men.

Obviously, no man is like the other and every man prefers something different. One man might like tattoos and piercings while another man with the same social status thinks they are hideous. I don’t want to completely change who I am and I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars for it.

However, I really like this whole clean girl and old money aesthetic that is going viral on Tiktok right now – and I think those two aesthetics could fit me and my personality really well.

Most wealthy men seem to like this traits in women:

1. great skin without obvious pimples or enlarged pores

2. long and healthy hair in a natural color

3. straight white teeth

4. clean nails on both hands and feet

5. hairless legs, armpits and at least trimmed pubic hair

6. wearing clean and wrinkle free clothes without any holes

7. wearing a nice smell that is fitting to your overall appearance

I think those are the basics and they can be achieved by almost anyone. If you can’t afford braces make sure that your teeth are always perfectly brushed and that you’re keeping up with your dental hygiene in general.

In fact – if you have problems affording certain beauty procedures, research how to get as close as possible to them with DIYs.

For years, I always wanted to be the mysterious woman in the room. The woman with a dark aura, the woman that doesn’t speak much and remains most of her life a secret.

Well, I am not this woman even if I’m trying very hard. It would be an act that I would put on and I am sure that everyone in the room would notice.

I am naturally very bubbly and I love having conversations with people in general. I would also say that I have a broad knowledge on different topics and that I’m able to talk to almost everyone.

I am also very welcoming and I enjoy making people laugh and have fun in my presence. I tend to have strong opinions and I’m not afraid to take on a discussion.

With everything that I know about myself now, I made some points that I need to tackle in order to level up:

1. stop oversharing. Being bubbly is great but not everyone needs to know everything about my business. Sometimes it’s just better to be silent and to listen.

2. start with exercise again. I am happy with my weight but I am extremely weak and I have almost zero muscle mass. My breath is getting heavy if I have to take the stairs and my legs start to hurt after roughly 15 minutes of walking. I plan on going for a walk every day and doing pilates 3x a week.

3. start doing my hair and makeup again. My hair is long and blonde – so it is an eyecatcher. It’s also very healthy but I usually just throw it up in a bun or in a clawclip, so no one is really seeing it. I have multiple styling tools at home and I need to start using them. The same applies to makeup. I have so much great stuff that looks really beautiful and natural but I am just too lazy to use it. I plan on taking 20 minutes every day to do my makeup and to suck it up – because I usually always do a double cleanse at night, so it’s not really a struggle to take it off in the evening. It’s just inconvenient in the morning.

4. taking better care of my skin and of my dental health. I have high quality skincare and I love doing my skincare but sometimes I’m just too lazy. Let me just say that it doesn’t happen often – but still too much for my liking. Also my dental health – I need to make a dentist appointment asap. I think the last time I went was around 3 years ago!

5. buying better fitting clothes. I don’t like shopping for clothes but it is what it is. Right now I only have cute lounge sets for being at home but when I go out I usually only wear jeans with a basic top and sneakers. I want to look more polished and feminine. I want to stop wearing jeans and focus more on pants, skirts and dresses. Also literally any other shoes than sneakers.

6. go out more. I’m your typical homebody. Movie night? Reading a book? Ordering food? Count me in! I always have fun when I go out but I’m still mostly at home and I want to change that. I want to have a group of like minded friends that want to hang out with me. Maybe even at home. Lol.

I really thought hard about those six points but I think those are the first things that I need to tackle down.

In the end – I was asking myself: what could I do to feel the most comfortable with spontaneous outgoings and meeting new people?

It came down to wanting to look my best. Obviously. I want to make a good first impression and maybe even profit off of pretty privilege.

I’m sure we all know those times when we’re dressed like slobs and suddenly an opportunity to go out arises and we decline because it would take hours to get ready.

That’s the reason why I want to get ready in the morning – so I would only need to touch up if anything came up.

see you soon!

[something-tofightfor]

Snow and Mistletoe - Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

No Outbreak AU.

Word Count: 6,325

Rating: M - as a whole for language and innuendo, but this chapter's mostly fluff... and maybe a lil smooch.

A/N: This is a continuation of the @pedrostories Secret Santa fic gift exchange for @burntheedges. I meant to post it yesterday but then we got caught up in family stuff ... so here we go now, and part 3 should be up later tonight.

I'm so glad you liked the first part ... and hope you like this one, too. (And to everyone else - THANK YOU for reading!)

Summary: The Chamber of Commerce Christmas celebration is the first time you and Joel will have together after admitting that there's something there.

But it turns out that that environment isn't the best for getting to know someone ... so Joel takes matters into his own - very capable - hands.

Part 1

When you left work the following Friday afternoon, you were nervous. 

There was no reason to be, because yes you were going to the party with Joel, but the Chamber event was casual, and you’d likely both be pulled in fifteen different directions to talk with people, not stuck to his side all night. 

Ellie and Sarah had almost shoved you out the door of your store, both girls grinning from ear to ear and promising to see you later, Sarah’s fingers wrapped tightly around the neck of the acoustic guitar she held. 

The nervousness grew as you drove home, fingers tapping on the steering wheel, and then blossomed when you got into the shower, the hot water heating your skin doing absolutely nothing to calm you. 

It was just Joel. 

Just Joel - Sarah’s dad, the man you’d gone to high school with and spoken to occasionally throughout the years at Sarah and Ellie’s school events or little league games, the man you said hello to and carried on limited conversation with a few times a week when he came into the store. 

But as you toweled off, you had to admit that he hadn’t really been just Joel for a while. 

He’d morphed from a cute former classmate and the dad of your niece’s best friend into the object of a crush the more you’d gotten to interact with him, and now that something was being done about it, you weren’t sure what to think. 

It was more than his good looks. There was no denying that Joel was handsome; his profile was something that you’d thought about plenty of times, as were his facial features and overall build. But Joel was also kind and capable, the man’s devotion to raising his daughter and giving her the best possible life admirable for many reasons. It’s even more than that, though, too. 

Pulling on a nice pair of jeans and a new sweater, you settled down in front of your mirror to do your hair and makeup, eyeing your reflection. It was no secret that Joel was one of the most eligible bachelors in your area, with his brother Tommy not far behind. 

He’d dated - casually, never letting things go on for longer than a few times out with each woman, and you’d heard good things secondhand. But he’d always seemed unattainable - more focused on Sarah and building his contracting business than on getting serious or settling down. And you couldn’t blame him. 

You knew what had happened after Amanda left Joel and Sarah, and the struggle he’d gone through as a single parent. Everyone that knew him had been witness to that - including Anna and Marlene.

Until Ellie had been more permanently in your life, you’d had no reason to interact with him on a regular basis, even though Marlene had. She’d talked about him to you more than a few times throughout the years, keeping you updated. And despite the things you knew to be true about him, the bits and pieces you’d learned firsthand were even more endearing, though they made him no less mysterious. 

But that night would be the first time it was the two of you actively together somewhere that had nothing to do with Ellie and Sarah, and that was what made you nervous. That was especially true after finding out that Joel was interested in you - enough to invite you to a second night out before you’d even gone to the first. “This is going to be awkward.” You sighed, using both hands to prop up your chin, studying your reflection. “And fun. This is going to be -”

You were interrupted by the ringing of your doorbell and a motion alert from your camera, the sounds startling you as your eyes drifted to the closest clock. Shit. He’s early. Heading downstairs, you opened the front door to find Joel standing on your porch, a tan jacket zipped over his broad shoulders. You froze - momentarily - and then recovered, smiling and inviting him in. “I just need to brush my teeth and put on shoes, and -”

“You look amazing.” He blinked a few times, one hand stuffed into his pocket and the other hanging loosely by his side. “Not that you usually look -” Ok, so he’s nervous too. Good to know. 

“Thank you.” Tugging on the collar of the sweater with two fingers, you grinned. “I got this sweater on sale and haven’t had a chance to wear it yet. Thought tonight would be a good opportunity.” He agreed, giving you another onceover, though it didn’t feel weird the way it usually did when a man looked you up and down “Be right back. Do you want to sit down?”

“Nah, I’m good. Take your time.” 

You left him standing in the hallway to go back into the bathroom and give yourself a final assessment while you brushed your teeth. It was good to know that Joel was felling off-kilter, too - and it surprisingly made you feel a little better. 

With a final spritz of your perfume, you made your way back downstairs and paused long enough to watch Joel running a palm over the woodwork in your entryway, his eyes following its path. You gave yourself a few seconds to watch, trying to push down the feeling of how much you enjoyed seeing him in your house, but before you could tell him you were ready, he spoke up. 

“Gorgeous work. I take it this was here when you moved in?” 

“It was.” You closed the distance between you, bending down to pull a pair of boots on. “There’s more of it throughout the rest of the house. The kitchen cabinets, and there are some built-in bookcases upstairs. And then my bedroom’s got this trim that’s one of the most intricate things I’ve…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “Long story short, yes. It was all here when I moved in and it was so … charming that I didn’t want to change any of it, so I didn’t.” 

He turned his head to look at you, brown eyes filled with warmth. “Good. You shouldn’t.” His smile was small but still there, and you gave him one in return. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Is that why you really volunteered to come pick me up?” Head tilting to the right, you winked at him. “Wanted to get up close and personal with all the vintage wood in my house?” 

“If I wanted to do that, I would’ve asked to see what’s in your bedroom.” That left you speechless - but when Joel winked at you, reaching out to take your hand, you found your words again, speaking up as his fingers slipped against yours. 

“Well, you didn’t… so now you’ll never know what my answer would have been.” He swore under his breath while pulling the front door open, his grip on you tightening. One point, me. 

— 

The party was fun. You were enjoying mingling with everyone, but you hadn’t really seen Joel in almost an hour… and that bothered you. Not because you’d expected to be with him the whole night, but because when you looked for him, you hadn’t been able to find him anywhere. 

He wasn’t sitting at any of the tables, their tops covered in checkered tablecloths and fake Christmas greenery. He wasn’t standing next to the bar, talking with any of the people that had seemingly taken up residence beside it, not wanting to stray too far from the allure of free drinks. 

He wasn’t even on the side of the building that had been opened for families, a jolly looking man dressed as Santa sitting on an ornate throne with stacks of brightly colored gifts and fake snow piles surrounding it. 

You were confused, to say the least, and although as you made the rounds, you attempted to look for him, it seemed to be in vain. Ellie and Sarah will be here before I find him again at this rate, and - 

“Hey.” You felt him step into place next to you, reaching over to touch your elbow. “Sorry about that. Had to step outside and take a work call about the job we’re starting in January.” He spoke almost directly into your ear, and even though you didn’t acknowledge him until you’d ended the conversation you were having with the owner of the movie theater, he didn’t move away from you, either. 

When you did look at him, you saw that his cheeks were pink, the tip of his nose a little red, too. “Cold out there?”

“The wind’s cold.” He shrugged, reaching up to unbutton the top button on his plaid shirt . “I’m good now.” He still had his hand on your elbow, the man’s fingers closing around it. “You done talkin’ to everyone in this place? Want to grab something to eat?” 

“I am and I do, but …” Looking past him and at the food stations, you sighed. “The lines are really long, Joel.” He looked, too, and as he did, you let your attention linger on the man’s neck, finding that even in the slightly muted lighting, you could see scattered freckles on his skin. I never noticed those before. “I… um.” You cleared your throat, taking a breath. “We could go get a drink before we wait for food.” 

“Yes.” He looked back at you, his smile widening. “I like the sound of that.” Joel took your hand again and the two of you walked over to join the short line at the bar, the man saying hello to a few people as you passed. “People are watching you.” He leaned over while you waited, speaking into your ear. “I can’t believe you weren’t going to come tonight.” 

“Or,” you replied, turning your head toward him so that you could meet his eyes. “Or they’re looking at you, and are thankful that you graced them with your presence tonight, Mr. Bigshot Contractor.” His cheeks went pink again, and that had nothing to do with the wind. “You and Tommy are a local success story, Joel.” You stepped up to the bar, placing your order and then moving off to the side to wait. “Miller Contracting is like two jobs away from getting national attention. I’m not surprised that people are staring. You’re single, your brother’s single, your business is booming, your kid’s basically a genius… what’s not to like?” 

He seemed shocked as you were handed the festive cups, but Joel was silent until you got into the food line. “Wait, before you drink…” He raised his glass, making a face as he thought. “What should we drink to?” 

“Oh. Um…” Why not make it a little awkward? Tapping one finger on your lips, you hummed. “How about to the teenage girls we live with and love taking things into their own hands and making this night happen?” He snorted, tipping his glass forward to meet the rim of yours. 

“To Sarah and Ellie and their meddlin’.” You drank together, both of you laughing as you lowered your glasses. “They should be getting here soon, shouldn’t they.” You nodded, scanning the room as you inched forward. “She’s been on my ass about you for months now, by the way.” 

“Oh?” You turned toward him, brows raised in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. At first she was subtle, too. But then …” He shook his head, wrinkling his nose. “Right around my birthday, she got real specific.” 

“When’s your birthday?”

“End of September.” He cocked his head to the side, shrugging. “But that was right in the middle of the project. I barely had time to sleep. I wasn’t even thinking about asking anyone out.” September? Hmm. 

“Sarah started working for me at the beginning of September.” You sipped your drink, thinking. “I wonder if that had anything to do with it.”

“Probably.” He laughed, tipping his head back. “She started spendin’ another 20 hours a week with Ellie, and more time around you.” 

“And here I thought she just got a job so she could get a discount on things for you.” You nudged him with your elbow. “Never thought she’d do it just so she could play matchmaker.” 

“You did say she was pretty much a genius.” He grinned, the smile splitting his face. “But it worked, so I can’t really complain.” You didn’t know what to say to that so you stayed quiet, the two of you shuffling forward and toward the serving tables. Did it work? 

You thought things were going pretty well, despite the limited amount of time that the two of you had actually spent together that night. You wondered if he felt the same, wondered if Joel was still looking forward to the following night as much as you were, or if he’d regretted preemptively inviting you for a second date. “Joel, I -”

“Oh, good!” You both turned your heads toward the new voice, a small wave of disappointment at being interrupted coursing through you. “You two are already waiting for food. Perfect.” Ellie and Sarah headed for the line, cutting through a few small groups until they were standing beside you. “How’s it going?”

“Going good, kiddo.” You nodded, looking between the girls. “Everything alright at the -”

“It’s fine.” She waved you off, rolling her eyes. “It didn’t burn down, Sarah remembered to set the alarm, and the drawer was only off by $426 dollars, so -”

“Actually, it was $427.” Sarah cut in, raising her hand to stage whisper to Ellie. “Remember?”

“You two are terrible.” You groaned, scowling at both of them. “Maybe we don’t want to let you in line with us. Maybe -”

“Too late, we’re already here.” Ellie’s grin was infectious, and even Joel laughed, using one hand to gesture for the two of them to step in front of you. Once they were in line, he moved back a half step, putting his hand against your back and letting it rest there. 

It was the most intimately that he’d ever touched you, and despite reminding yourself that you needed to keep calm, you leaned back and into it, glancing over at him and catching his eye. He didn’t say anything - but he didn’t look away, either. Yeah. I think he feels the same. 

— 

The four of you sat and ate together - you and Joel on one side of the table and Ellie and Sarah on the other, and for the next twenty minutes, you and Joel barely spoke to each other. It wasn’t that you were silent - instead, the four of you had a conversation, Joel and Ellie going back and forth about some sci-fi thriller that was older than the girl and you and Sarah interjecting when you could. 

It felt good - sitting and conversing with them for longer than a few minutes at a time outside of the shop. The Christmas music and brightly colored lights strung around the room only added to the cheerfulness of the atmosphere, as did the scent of cinnamon and spice in the air. But again, you were slightly disappointed that you and Joel weren’t getting time to yourselves. Especially after they made sure we’d come here together. 

The room was loud, and admittedly wasn’t the best place to get to know someone. So it’s fine. It’s fine, and … “Hey.” Joel said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Do you wanna get out of here?” 

Sarah stopped speaking immediately, her eyes going wide. You caught Ellie elbowing her sharply, but Joel never looked away. “And go where?” What are you … 

“There’s a place down the street that’s open late.” He pointed with one finger, keeping his eyes on you. “Great coffee. Even better cake. And -”

“You’re just going to leave us here, Dad?” Sarah blinked slowly, her chin resting on one hand. “We just got here, and -”

“Y’know, after the two of you worked so damn hard to get us here together, the fact that you’d want to hang out with us is kind of surprising.” Ellie snorted, quickly disguising the sound with a cough. “Is this supposed to be a date? Or is this two people with their kids at a Christmas party?”

“A date.” Sarah stood abruptly, staring down at Joel. “Definitely a date. Come on, Ellie. Let’s go and see what’s going on in the other room.” The second girl stood a few seconds later, the smile on her face widening, though you could feel the smirk behind it. “Bye.” 

They gathered their trash and beelined it away from you, leaving you and Joel alone at the table again. “Hope you don’t mind. I love my daughter, but I don’t usually make it a point to bring her on first dates.”

“So this is a date.” You leaned against one elbow, tapping a fingertip on the table. “Good to know.”

“Of course it is.” He stood, picking up his plate and glass. “And so is tomorrow.” Joel used his chin to gesture to the main doors. “I was serious about leaving, though. I’ve had about all I can take of We Wish You A Merry Christmas sung by Alvin and the goddamn Chipmunks.” 

You laughed hard at that, nodding and standing with him. As the two of you headed for the main bank of trash cans, you tried to compose yourself, catching your breath. I figured he was funny, but that was really funny. You threw everything away, brushing your hands off on your pants as you turned toward the exit. “Joel, before we -”

“Shit.” He swore loudly, one hand on his hip and his gaze directed upward. “Fuckin’ mistletoe.” You looked up, too, wincing when you saw the plant hanging from the ceiling above where you stood. “Of course they put it right there.” 

“It’s fine, Joel.” Your heart was thumping at the mere thought of him kissing you, but you didn’t want to expect anything. “We can just pretend we didn’t see it, and go to the …” You trailed off as he moved closer, both of his hands rising, palms settling against your arms. What is he doing? “What are -” 

He leaned in, his lips set into a small smile, but instead of aiming for your mouth, Joel took a quick breath and then kissed your cheek, letting it linger. Holy shit, really?  “No way in hell I’m kissin’ you for the first time next to a trash can and in front of all these damn people.”  

That made you laugh again, but before Joel could pull away from you, you whispered his name and then turned your head, pressing your lips to his cheek in return. He froze, though his fingers tightened on your arms. When you stepped back, you saw shock on his face. Good. Because that’s exactly how I feel, too. “What is a good place for a first kiss, then?” You felt warm - your entire body almost tingling just from his proximity. 

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” He recovered and answered quickly, squeezing one bicep before he let go and put more space between you. “Now c’mon. Let’s get out of here before someone else tries to talk to us.” 

You had no problem with that request, giving Joel a single nod and then heading for the door, heart still pounding. His phrasing - wait and see - implied that he planned on actually kissing you at some point… and that was something else you had no problem with. 

— 

It was only a block or so to the place he’d mentioned, and the two of you walked there side by side, Joel’s arm brushing yours. 

You both ordered coffee and a dessert, but before you could reach for cash to pay for yours, he set money down, telling the employee to keep the change. 

It was quiet in the restaurant - most of the usual clients either already at home or down the street at the party, and that meant you had your pick of places to sit. He let you choose - and when you settled into an overstuffed armchair, Joel dropped onto the one across from you, letting out a sigh. 

“I’m not used to that at all.” He gestured with one hand, pointing in the direction of the party you’d just left. “Job sites are easy. I tell people what to do, and they do it. Gettin’ contracts and meetin’ clients is easy, because they tell me what they want and I tell ‘em whether or not I can get it done.” He took a drink of his coffee, pausing. “But that? Hours of small talk and a crowd of people and all the holiday shit?” 

“Not a fan of Christmas?” You leaned back in your chair, coffee mug cradled between both hands. “I know a lot of people aren’t.”

“It was hard for a while… with me an’ Sarah?” He frowned, shaking his head. “I wanted to make Christmas special for her, but when she was real little, that wasn’t … I couldn’t always do it. And it’s better now, because me an’ Tommy are actually getting work, but …” Joel looked down, focusing on the table in front of him. “It used to just be us. And I got used to that, to keepin’ to myself, focusing on work and on her and worrying about everything that came next.” When he looked back at you, his eyes were clear, resolve apparent in them. “Didn’t have time for a party like tonight, because it all had to be about her, and both of us survivin’, not small talk.” 

“I’m sorry.” You took a drink, too. “I didn’t even think about …” 

“Nah, it’s fine. Don’t let me ruin the night.” He cut a piece off of his cake and brought it to his lips, the fork slipping between them. Joel chewed and then smiled at you, rubbing his hand over the top of one thigh. “Like I said, it’s better now. And I’m gettin’ there when it comes to socializin’.” 

“Is that why you don’t date much?” You bit the corner off of your pastry, thinking. “Because you don’t like the small talk or the getting to know someone?” 

“No, I don’t date because I’m still busy. Between work and Sarah’s sports, it’s hard for me to find time to do things by myself. Bringin’ someone else into that seems unfair.” He leaned closer, shifting in his seat. “But I like this, tonight? This doesn’t bother me.” He sipped again, shrugging. “Maybe it’s because it’s with you, though.” 

It blindsided you - the compliment and admission from Joel in the same sentence, said almost nonchalantly. But he’s made comments like that a few times now, and … hmm. “I like it too.” You sighed, looking around the cozy space before settling your gaze back on him. “They were surprised you wanted to leave.” He laughed, the sound low but still incredibly endearing. “In all the years I’ve known Ellie, she’s never pushed me like this with anyone before.” 

“She’s a teenager now.” Joel’s smile widened. “Knows what she can get away with. Same with Sarah. I think she’s worried about me bein’ alone next year.” He went quiet then, his expression changing, and you realized - for the first time - that even though you were dreading Ellie leaving for college the following summer, Sarah leaving Joel was probably much more difficult for him to consider. 

“You won’t be alone. You’ll have Tommy.” Raising a brow, you took another bite, talking around it. “And I’m sure he’s got some plans for you.” 

“You have no idea.” He groaned, swiping a hand over his face. “He’s only 5 years younger than me, but it seems like so much more sometimes.” You didn’t know Tommy too well - he’d been on the outskirts of your friend group for a while, but had drifted away when he turned 18 and enlisted - moving even further away after coming back and joining Joel on job sites. But what you did know was that were Joel was quieter and more practical, Tommy was extroverted and impulsive, more than happy to play the part of uncle and friend to Sarah  - and in turn, to Ellie. “What about Ellie? Is she thinkin’ about school?” 

“Yeah.” Clearing your throat, you tried to refocus. “She is. She’s nervous about it because all she’s ever known is Austin, but she’s been applying. She’s going on a couple more campus visits in the spring, too. Marlene’s got some contacts in Utah and Colorado, so she’s going up there, but…” You shrugged. “I’m not sure what she’ll choose. Maybe she’ll stay here and go to UT or TSU.” 

“Hmm.” He narrowed his eyes, staring at you. “How long’s she been with you? Marlene left what, five years ago?” Nodding, you watched as he tipped his mug back, taking a long drink. “Long time. You’re gonna have a quiet house if she decides to go out of state.”

“Just me and all that fancy wood left.” Grinning, you finished your dessert and then leaned forward, reaching for your napkin. “I’m sure Sarah won’t go far, Joel. She -”

“She’s talkin’ about going out of state, too.” He closed his eyes, taking and holding a deep breath. “Funny enough, she also mentioned Colorado and Utah. I think I even heard Boston in there, but I don’t know who the fuck willingly goes to the East coast to live, so…” He shrugged. “I’ll deal with it when I have to. Can’t keep her locked up forever, right?”

“Right.” Sitting up straight, you let your gaze wander over his face, eyes lingering on his mouth and the way his lips curved upward in the barest hint of a smile. “Can I admit something to you?” He nodded, mimicking your position and leaning forward, his hands hanging between his spread knees. “I ddn’t expect us to talk so much about Ellie and Sarah tonight. I figured they’d come up, but I was looking forward to talking about you, Joel. About you and -”

“That’s what tomorrow’s for.” He rubbed his palms together, the tip of his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I told you, we’ve got a little bit of a drive. Plenty of time to talk.” He was right, but part of you still felt that there was more opportunity that night with him, even though you knew it was almost time to go home. “What do you want to know?” Scooting forward, he pushed his plate to the side. “I’ve gotta warn you, I’m pretty boring.”

“I doubt that.” Crossing your legs at the ankle, you held up one finger. “I remember you from high school, Joel. There was nothing boring about you.” 

“That was also 20 years ago.” He scoffed. “Twenty years and one kid and a hell of a lot of muscle aches ago.” You looked past him and at the clock hanging on the wall, pointing at it. 

“Speaking of sleep, It’s almost 10. Do you turn into a pumpkin at any specific time?” His mouth dropped open, Joel spluttering out your name. “I wouldn’t want to be responsible for keeping you out too late.” 

“Smart ass.” He rolled his eyes, sighing. “No, but you said you have to work tomorrow morning, so we should probably head out.” He was right, but you didn’t want to agree. Despite the fact that the conversation had only circled the topic of the two of you, it had highlighted something very important: Joel was just as easy to talk to one on one as he was in a public setting. And that’s good. I like that. I like it a lot. “You want me to drive you home, or do you want to walk back and find Ellie an’ Sarah?” 

“You.” You answered immediately, standing and gathering your mug and plate. “I’d like you to drive me back, Joel.” 

Your answer didn’t seem to surprise him, and only a few minutes later, you were back in his truck, the heat on low and Joel’s jacket tossed into the back seat. “Should I get ready before you come and get me tomorrow, or can I change in the room once we get there?” 

“Either’s fine. But if you’re gonna get ready at the hotel, I’ll need to come and get you a little earlier, just so we show up on time.” He sighed, putting the truck into reverse. “There’s a schedule. Dinner’s on there, and they have a toast, and -”

“Oh, so this is fancy. You weren’t joking.” 

“No. I wasn’t.” He cleared his throat. “An’ they really like me. The CEO of the hotel company’s going to be there, and she could -”

“Say no more.” Reaching over, you squeezed his knee. “I’ll be ready to go when you pick me up. I promise.” He hummed in approval, pulling onto the main road. Silence filled the cab of the truck, and before you could speak and fill it, your phone vibrated at the same time his center screen lit up, a text message from Sarah sliding in from the top of it. “Oh. Interesting.” 

He reached out, pressing the button to read the text, and you raised your phone, eyeing it. Ellie. 

It turned out that only one of you needed to check the message, because they both said the exact same thing: 

Meeting friends from school at IHOP. I’ll be home before curfew. 

“They definitely didn’t plan this.” You wrinkled your nose, turning your head to look at Joel. “It’s definitely not convenient.” 

“Of course not.” His hand tightened on the steering wheel, Joel’s sigh loud. “It’s pathetic, right? My seventeen year old kid’s settin’ me up on dates and telling me that she won’t be home til later than me.” 

“Not pathetic, no.” You took a few seconds, trying to organize your thoughts. “I’ve only really known her for a couple months, but she’s a really thoughtful kid, Joel. It’s clear she cares about you and wants you to be happy. And,” you continued, leaning closer and dropping your voice. “If she’s anything like Ellie, the idea of accidentally seeing you with someone probably horrifies her, so -”

Joel pulled into your driveway, cutting the engine, though he kept the heat running. “Ellie caught you and some guy?” You hadn’t planned on telling the story, but since you’d brought it up, you figured you had to, groaning as you unbuckled your seatbelt. 

“Not like you’re thinking, no.” You had to laugh about it, though at the time it had happened, it had been mortifying. “I went out with a guy about a year ago, and he walked me to my door when he dropped me off.” You leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “We were saying goodnight on the porch, and he just … went for it. I kissed him back because the date had gone reasonably well, but only a couple seconds in, I heard Ellie’s voice through the doorbell camera, and she was … less than enthusiastic.” 

You didn’t expect him to laugh as hard as he did at your words. Joel actually leaned forward and covered his face with both hands, elbows resting against the steering wheel. It hadn’t been funny at the time, Ellie’s annoyance clear even through the tinny speaker, and when you’d watched the video back later that night, you’d cringed. You’d been embarrassed but laughed it off, though in the end, Ellie’s interruption had been a good thing. Your date hadn’t found the humor in the situation, and he’d stopped returning your texts a day or so afterward. No loss there. 

“Bet you’ll never kiss another man on your front porch again.” He was still chuckling when he swiveled his head toward you. “Or if you do, you’ll disable the camera first.” 

“No. I think Ellie learned a valuable lesson about checking the camera when she knows I’m coming home with someone.” You pointed at the door. “However, I think that if you and I were to walk up to that door right now, they’d both be watching to see if their little plan worked.” 

“That might be a worse first kiss than next to a trash can and in front of a hundred people.” He sighed, tapping his palm against the wheel. You let your eyes wander over your front yard - the lights strung through the bushes and around the front windows and door, brightly colored bulbs casting a cheerful glow over everything.  “But what if that wasn’t the first one?” 

“What?” Turning your body in the seat so that you were angled toward him, you eyed Joel with some curiosity. How wouldn’t that be the first one? “Joel?” 

“Ain’t ideal in the truck, but …” He shifted, too, unlocking his seatbelt and then leaning his elbow against the steering wheel. “Shit. I haven’t done this in a long fuckin’ time.” 

He didn’t move, though - no closer, no further away; the man simply stayed put, watching you. “Was… was that you asking if I wanted you to kiss me, Joel?” You found it hard to believe that he’d be so hesitant. Any man that looked like Joel including Joel likely would have had women lining up for the opportunity, and yet there he was, parked in your driveway and waiting. “Because if it was, then yes. I’d like that.” 

There was no reason to deny it. You were out with him, you were alone in his truck, and the two of you had been flirting back and forth all night. “Good.” 

He said the single word and then moved closer, Joel’s arm lifting from the steering wheel, that hand rising to the side of your face so that he could tilt it back. His fingertips slid over your cheek, thumb beneath your chin - and when you heard him say your name, the sound quiet, you finally closed your eyes, leaning in. 

Joel kissed you softly - the press of his lips firm but somehow reserved at the same time. And you let him - humming at the contact and reaching one hand out. It slid up the back of his arm and stopped there, his skin warm beneath the soft material of his shirt. 

There was no zing of connection, no electric current that shot through your body at the touch of his lips to yours… but there was a feeling of contentment, your body unconsciously leaning in toward his while you continued to kiss him, fingers firmly holding his arm. 

He didn’t pull away from you, prolonging the kiss after inhaling through his nose, and when Joel’s hand moved back, palm cradling your head, you sighed against his lips. That was an invitation for him, Joel groaning and parting his lips against yours. You felt his tongue press against them briefly, followed by light pressure as he closed both of his around your lower one, but that was as far as he took it. 

Backing away, Joel took a deep breath, though he didn’t move his hand and his eyes were focused on your face, the man waiting for your response. Did that happen? Did that just … “Hey, Joel?” You took a breath and held it, your hand dropping from his arm to his thigh. “I’m glad you waited to do that.” 

He visibly relaxed, his expression going from apprehensive to a wide smile. “Yeah?” You nodded, feeling his fingers tighten briefly before he let you go. “Me too. There was more you wanted to say, but before you could, he gestured to the front of your house, sighing. “It’s gettin’ late. Let me walk you in?” 

As the two of you headed for the door, Joel once again put his hand on your back, staying close. Part of you wanted to invite him in; to sit with him on your couch with only the glow of the tree illuminating the room. But that’s too forward. We’ve kissed once, and Ellie will be home soon, and … “I had fun tonight, Joel.” You stopped on your porch, digging through your bag for your keys. “Thanks for asking me.” 

“‘Course.” He smiled again, sticking his hands into his front pockets and leaning against the side of your house. “We good?” 

“We are.” Holding up your keys, you nodded. “I’ll see you later?” He agreed, pulling his hands free and then stepping forward, sliding one arm around your waist and then the other around your shoulders. You hugged him back, turning your head so that you could get closer. If you’re watching, Ellie, I hope you’re happy. “Goodnight, Joel.” Murmuring the words, you squeezed him and then let go, meeting his eyes one more time. “Get home safe.” 

He assured you he would before he turned away from you, heading back for the truck and giving you one final look at the way the material of his flannel stretched over his broad shoulders. “Shit.” You rubbed at the bridge of your nose with the hand not holding your keys, and when his lights turned on, the truck backing out of the driveway soon after, you turned away and unlocked the door. 

You were halfway inside when you heard her voice, the girl’s disappointment evident even through the small speaker. “Shoulda kissed him.” I knew it. 

“Aren’t you eating pancakes right now?” Leaning back so that you could look at the doorbell, you raised a brow. “Don’t you have better things to -” 

“I can eat and spy on you at the same time.” She laughed and so did you, but Ellie cut you off quickly. “I’ll be home soon. We’re leaving in a few and I just have to drop Sarah off on the way.” 

“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” She didn’t reply again, and when you shut the door a few seconds later, you locked it and then sagged back against the wood, closing your eyes. 

All things considered, your date with Joel had been damn near perfect … and you had another one to look forward to the following night. 

---

Part 3

[windvexer]

Deck Review: Under the Oak Tarot by Ofride and StregaDelleMele

This is a borderless deck featuring a sometimes-sightless girl named Anima as she traverses a fantastical otherworld.

Physical Concerns

Overall: 10/10, so far very satisfied (especially for the price), would buy again if I lost it

RWS Clone? No, but RWS symbolism is obvious in a handful of cards, notably the High Priestess and many Major Arcana cards. Other cards are completely unique.

Cost: 10/10 for quality. As of this review, $26 without shipping

Card stock: 10/10, the card stock has a nice texture and feel sturdy. But it isn't the super thick stock that's stiff and difficult to bend. It doesn't feel cheap and it's nice to shuffle. Also, gilded edges, which we love. It's a standard size deck.

Box: The box is nice and relatively sturdy. It's not a huge box (like we see with Woodland Tarot or Animal Totem Tarot) which I like, because my storage isn't unlimited. The box has an unattached lid and you can dump the cards out for easy access. The LWB fits in the box. Sometimes I struggle with hand pain and it feels like an easy access box.

Little White Book (LWB): It's a 128 page book with translations for English, Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese. It includes meanings for each card, and three spreads with very little explanation. More about LWB meanings and card interpretations below.

Deck Theme and Symbolism

Per the introduction in the LWB, this deck follows the journey of Anima, a visually impaired child who travels through a fantastical otherworld and learns to develop a second sight.

While many of the cards that feature Anima show her being blindfolded, the deck clearly uses sightedness as a metaphor for spiritual enlightenment or "second sight." All of the 10s cards and The World XX show Anima as seeing clearly without her blindfold, and some other cards show partial sightedness as well.

Beyond that, this is an eclectic deck, no two ways about it. This is primarily present in the court cards and some of the Major Arcana cards.

The Pentacles cards feature Basque mythology; Wands are Welsh and Celtic, Swords are Norse, and Cups are Greek. There's also Hebrew symbolism (notably the High Priestess II), and probably other stuff I haven't picked up on because I'm not the most well versed in mythology.

A lot of the cards feature mythical beings, but there are also statues and woodland creatures.

Sorry for photo quality, I don't have a great camera.

I think the symbolism is nice. Sometimes the cards are more heavily re-imagined (like the Star XVII and Moon XVIII), while some of them are more or less exactly what you'd expect from RWS symbolism (Devil XV).

The Minor Arcana takes more symbolism liberties, and some of the cards are very different from RWS.

Overall, I really enjoy how it reads. I love a good borderless card, and this deck is A) fun and B) really pretty to look at. It's got enough familiar symbolism to ground me, but a lot of the cards are very different and with enough wiggle room to explore my own interpretations.

Card Interpretations

The LWB interpretations are all about a spiritual journey, healing, and transformation. So if you're looking for a spiritual journey deck, this one might be for you.

At the same time, there's enough going on with the cards that I didn't find it to be difficult to link the meanings to a wide variety of topics.

The one thing I've got no idea about is the runes, which feature heavily in the Swords suit (which is also the suit where all the court cards are Norse entities). I don't know if the runes are thematically relevant to the card at hand or not. Hopefully they are, because I can imagine how irritating that would be if you read runes and it doesn't match.

Here are a few Minor Arcana honorable mentions. Note the familiar symbolism of the 6 of Pentacles (bottom row, second from left), but the unique symbolism of the 5 of Swords (bottom row, far right).

Overall I found the cards to be evocative and easy to connect to, with enough symbolism in each image to facilitate intuitive reading.

[omnomnomdomcaps]

Upstream - Remastered - Pt. IV

Finally reposting here, featuring the work of Bubblybuns, who you can find on JFF.

CHAPTER ONE

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Chapter Four: Placement

Vanessa hadn’t been so excited all year. 

She shimmied and twirled, basking in the flexibility of her new padding, and then lifted the front of her overalls so that she could look at herself one more time in the mirror. 

“All the kids at kindergarten are gonna be so jealous of my pullups,” she began, as her mother entered the room, “I bet they’re all a bunch of dumb diaper-wearing babies, probably never even sawed one of these before!”

“Oh, honey…” her mother tried to interject.

“I wonder how long it’s gonna take me to become their queen,” the girl rambled on, “a minute? A second? What’s faster than a second? A super-second? Ugh, I can’t wait to show them who’s boss.”

“Honey,” Vanessa’s mother finally stopped the girl, “let’s remember to play nice, now. And I got you those pullups to help you for your interview today, but if you’re going to keep wearing them, you need to let me know when you have to use the potty, okay? Do you think you can do that for me?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” the girl rolled her eyes.

Her mother sighed. “You say that, but you’re soaked,” she said, patting the front of Vanessa’s training pants, “when were you planning on telling me?”

The girl’s face reddened, and she coiled up into what her mother termed her grumpy pose. "Well, how was I supposed to know that!?" she exclaimed. 

The girl would maintain her crossed arms and pout as her mother tore off her sopping trainers and began pulling on a fresh pair.

"Prolly doesn't matter anyway," she grumbled, "not like they're gonna make me go ta school with those dumb babies. I'm just gonna ace today and then they'll send me up to the first grade and then the second grade..."

"And what comes after that?" her mother asked, in the voice of a kindergarten teacher.

The girl blinked a few times, then shrugged. "I dunno, what?"

"Well, that would be third grade," the mother chuckled, "might be good to know that for today." 

Vanessa rolled her eyes again. “Yeah, whatever.”

The girl’s eagerness only built as she entered the elementary complex, holding her mother’s hand. There was her old high school in the distance, where she had ruled so gloriously until this year’s sudden turn. There were the third and fourth- grade classrooms, where she had honed her craft of toying with the other children. There were the first- and second- grade rooms, which brought back memories of first imposing her will in the playground. And finally, in the very back of the building, there was the designated kindergarten, where a small crowd had gathered to await her arrival. 

As she walked in, finally releasing her mother’s hand, Vanessa observed that the desks had been stacked up towards the sides of the room, leaving a wide patch of open carpet in the center. Her friend Fiona was in the corner, giving the girl a wide smile and a thumbs up while holding a phone out in her other hand. A handful of teacher’s aides were standing around, some of whom the girl recognized as old classmates. And there was a cheery-looking twenty-something, with a long, blonde ponytail, sitting at the teacher’s desk. 

“Hello! I’m Ms. Henderson, the teacher here at the kindergarten. And you must be-” 

“I’m wearing pullups!” the girl blurted out, lifting her overalls to show off. 

“That’s… lovely, dear,” the teacher said, trying to shake the twinge of discomfort from her voice, “now I understand that you were at the high school last year?”

 “Yuh-huh! I was the popularest in the whole school! But then some weird stuff happened...” Vanessa drifted off. 

“And now you’d like to enroll in the kindergarten?”

“Yeah…” Vanessa answered, the energy draining from her voice, “I guess.”

“I think she means that she would love to,” her mother chimed in nervously. 

“MOM!” The girl’s face flushed red again.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” the teacher assured them, “we just want to find what level best suits Vanessa.

“With that in mind,” the woman continued, “we want to just make sure you’re kindergarten-ready. Is it alright if we ask you a few questions?”

“Okay,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, “fine.”

“Now then, no need to be grumpy,” Ms. Henderson began, her kindergarten-teacher demeanor coming into view, “why don’t you take a seat on the rug? Just right in the middle of our space here. 

“Yes, right there,” she pointed, “right on your butt. Can you show me your best criss-cross applesauce? Hands in front, back straight, face forward."

Vanessa fuddled around for some time, trying to keep the directions straight, but eventually managed to reach the desired position, taking a cross-legged pose in the center of the room. 

“Wonderful!” the teacher commended, before turning to her aide, “Mr. Thomas, could you please hand Vanessa the shape blocks?”

The man - who Vanessa recognized as a graduate of her old high school, from the class year prior to what used to be hers - did as he was asked, placing a tray of three blocks in front of the girl. 

“Can you show me which one the triangle is?” 

Shapes. Vanessa remembered them being brought up a few times on the shows she watched, but never paid much attention when they were. Still, she thought for a few moments before deciding on one she thought was prettiest. 

“No, I’m afraid that’s the circle, sweetheart.”

“Not quite. That’s the square.”

“No, I’m sorry, that’s the square again.”

“Oh, I'm sorry… why don’t we try something else?”

Vanessa tossed the block in her hand aside, happy to be done with the exercise. 

The teacher tapped her pen on her several times, scratching her head before turning it back up towards the girl. “Vanessa, sweetie, could you count to ten for me?”

“To ten?” Vanessa confirmed, as she tried to think how large ten was, “uhhhh… okay. Umm, one… two…”

The girl paused, looking at the ceiling for several moments. “Third?” she tried, unconvinced by her own answer. 

“That’s very close! But not quite there - would you like to try again?” the teacher offered. 

“Poopy,” Vanessa muttered under her breath, before losing her train of thought completely. 

“Ummm, what was the question again?”

“We just wanted to hear you count to ten, sweetie.”

“Oh, okay okay.” The girl puffed her cheeks out and concentrated as hard as she could. “Ummmm… one… two…”

Vanessa stared once more at the ceiling, trying to think what the next number could possibly be. Was it five? No, that didn’t sound right. Third? No, something about that felt off as well. Eleven?

Eleven. The girl giggled to herself at the silly-sounding word. That’s not a number. How did I even come up with that?

“Uhh, sweetie,” the teacher said uneasily after a few moments of silence, “why don't you draw us a picture?”

“Ooooh, a picture!” Vanessa’s attention jumped over immediately, “Yeah, I draw the bestest pictures, you’ll see!”

Ms. Henderson forced a chuckle. “That’s lovely, dear. Mr. Thomas, could you?”

The aide collected a thick sheet of paper and a box of crayons from the supply bin and carried it over to the girl on the rug. He had a strain on his face from holding back laughter, but Vanessa hadn’t noticed it at all. 

Instead, she was poised downward and hungrily licking her lips, eager to impress with this new activity. Moving quickly, she fixed the sheet of paper in front of her and then poured the box of crayons out onto the floor, grabbing the first black one she saw with such force that she could barely hear the loud rumble that came from her stomach as she did so.

Vanessa clutched the crayon in her fist and began to assemble haphazard shapes on the paper. First, there was a roughly made circle, and then a long line drawn down from it. Next, the girl added two uneven lines jolting out from the bottom of the long stick, and two uneven lines near the top. Finally, she added a makeshift smiley face inside the circle, and several clumsy waves around it to represent her hair. It was her crude self-portrait, but it wasn’t done yet. 

The girl tossed aside the black crayon and reached for a yellow one. After pausing for a few breaths, she began to add the final element, a crown for her stick-figure avatar. She started with a misshapen triangle, pointing far up and to the left from the top of the figure’s head. But as she began to make the motion to draw a second triangle, pointing up and to the middle, she was interrupted by a sudden urge. 

Vanessa scrunched her face, crayon still tightly in her fist, instinctively pushed her bottom upwards, and grunted. All around, there were gasps of shock and muffled bursts of uncomfortable laughter, as well as an audible “oh dear” from the girl's mother. Immediately, everyone in the room knew exactly what was happening. 

Everyone, that is, except for Vanessa. 

Vanessa let out a deep sigh as she thought back to that day at the kindergarten. It had taken several weeks for her mother to finally tell her the school's decision, but when she did, it hit the girl as both a shock and a revelation. Slowly, she began to piece together the mistakes she made, starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, she might have been a little too sure of herself. 

So when word arrived that the town preschool would allow Vanessa to join in the coming year, with no preconditions, she made sure not to take the opportunity for granted. 

The girl began to watch her educational shows more earnestly, trying to pick up all the lessons that she could. Most would still go well over her head, but bits and pieces stuck. At the very least, their frequent singsong and nursery rhyme elements gave her something to exercise her memory, with “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” quickly becoming a favorite tune. 

She also began to pry curiously about the sorts of classmates she could expect to have at the preschool, although her mother was initially hesitant. And when she finally did relent and tell the girl, it became clear why.

Vanessa listened in horror to stories of almost perfectly potty-trained children, capable of counting past ten and reciting their ABC’s, and wondered how she could ever be able to compete with such intellectual heavyweights.

“Just play nice,” her mother would say, “and they’ll play nice with you. Share with them, they’ll share with you, and they’ll help you when you need help. Show them kindness, they’ll be less likely to pick on you, and you’ll have more friends on your side if they do.”

As foreign as the idea seemed at first, it did look to Vanessa like her only real chance to fit in, and so the advice finally began to take. 

And now, at last, the day was upon her. After such a shocking exit from the top of the high school heap, after months and months away in infantile isolation, Vanessa was about to start her first day back at school. She tucked in her white shirt, adjusted her Hello Kitty backpack, and tried her best to get her short plaid skirt to cover her much-needed, thick, pink diaper. 

But there was one more thing left to do. 

“One…”

The girl closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to think back to an episode of Blue’s Clues she had watched the previous day. 

“Two…”

Excitement crept in as she imagined impressing her preschool teachers and classmates, proving to them that she truly belonged. 

“Three…”

The girl concentrated as hard as she could, sweat beginning to form on her furrowed brow. 

“Five.”

Vanessa exhaled and gave a soft fist pump, before opening her eyes and turning them towards her open door.

Briefly, the girl wrinkled her nose, wondering if a new smell in the room had anything to do with the growing feeling at the seat of her pants. But she soon dismissed the thought and strut forward, ready once again to take on the world.  

****

[mirlvshft]

introduction to my waiting room! — PART I .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

this is part I of my very in depth showcase of my wr which is a luxurious penthouse in ny. i believe you can get a feel of the overall aesthetic so try to keep that in mind as you take in the visuals as they all do not reflect the same style.

this wr is like any wr, to relax in and whatnot. however i am catering mine towards my drself (criminal minds) which is reflected in part II.

if anyone has questions or further ideas please let me know! now…

「 ✦ welcome to mir’s

waiting room ✦ 」

| part II

weather

i have the ability to keep and or change the time of day and weather. although, a very soothing dim rainy weather would be constant more often than not. the temperature inside will always be kept nice and cold.

companion

the most recent addition to my wr: connor, an android from the game detroit become human. he’s company and sort of a helper. connor can help with absolutely anything— he has tons of capabilities in addition to what i personally added to him. he can do a number of things such as help in redesigning the penthouse, give advice, help with scripting, etc,. although i will say his purpose isn’t to solely act as a strict servant or android per se. mmm, almost like a roommate? like how androids become “alive” in the game. hope that makes enough sense. side note: i did not finish the game, i just can’t

bedroom

my bed is huge and so incredibly comfortable, it’s serene really. this also moves over to temperature, it never gets uncomfortably hot— the apartment as a whole is at a very crisp cold temperature. i have fluffy pillows that never go flat and support me amazingly. the bed also has the softest, fluffiest, plush blankets— my bed is literal heaven. the sides of my bed have these nightstands as you can see, consisting of all my little necessities; phone, headphones, etc,. everything will always be well kept and never change in condition; always pristine. if i ever want a drink or food, whatever i may want, it’ll appear on the nightstand. as for the rest of the room, it’s all pretty basic furniture.

closet

it’s huge, i mean huge. it literally has an upstairs but i couldn’t find a picture good enough but trust, it looks great. it has everything i have in my pinterest, all of my wardrobes. it’s organized by the type of clothing and color. another feature is any desired clothing i find while on my phone or any other way, will just show up there neatly organized for me. i can also do automatic alterations to pieces that don’t fit me like how i want them to, useful huh?

kitchen

my kitchen is pretty big and has literally everything i could ever want from food to all the necessary dishes; pots and pans, glasses, etc., i can think of a snack or food i want and it’ll just appear there but sometimes i want to cook, you know? don’t know if that’s an unpopular opinion or whatever but i definitely want to cook myself sometimes. i want to have the option to mess around and actually make food, bake and all that— i think it can be quite helpful and i find it therapeutic. although the mess that occurs always cleans itself up or connor can help me (bc fuck all that). everything will always keep clean; no dust, no mess, no mopping or anything and will always smell good with whatever scent i want lingering!!

bathroom

these pictures are good examples but don’t do it justice, it’s bigger and has a few more elaborate details. the hot water will never run out, any wash for body or hair, bathbombs, essential oils, etc etc,. all that would be ready in the cupboards or wherever i want it. this also goes for cosmetics and whatnot. the whole space is such a vibe.

i finallyyy made this post, its been sitting in my drafts since i damn near made this blog. i’m trying to open up more and not be so shy on my blog about my dr’s ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! but at the same time i could go on and on forever about them — finally putting this together was very fun and motivating!!

as lengthy as this guide is, i didn’t go in complete detail about every. single. thing. but just enough to explain the main features and rooms and to also give some scripting ideas to you guys too— i could go on forever but i will spare you all. if anyone has questions or further ideas to give me about my wr please let me know! (｡> ᴗ ☆｡) ‧₊˚

[chuplayswithfire]

thinking about ways i would change the pacing of events in season two to give them more room for breathing, while keeping to the same number of episodes that were available, this is probably what i'd have done:

Episode 1: Impossible Birds: add back in the missing cutscene with izzy and ed featuring ed throwing a knife past izzy, with tally marks - use that scene to explain that these tallies represent the number of raids they've gone on since the end of season 1. izzy is complaining about ed's blackbeard routine, ed snipes that he thought izzy wanted them to be pirates, well this is what pirates do. he's taking that record, putting blackbeard back on the map, isn't that what you wanted, iz? izzy acknowledges to himself that this is not what he wanted.

Episode 4: Fun and Games: right off the bat, i think they could have, instead of the crew voting Ed into a banishment that lasts a single day and which the crew are therefore pretty easily swayed on, they put him on probation in ep 4, with black pete suggesting the bell and frenchie and wee john the outfit, and stede pointing out that ed's very injured so it's not like they couldn't overpower him if something goes wrong. ed's annoyed about the whole thing and still half dead and fucked up from the gravy basket, and after hearing the terms, the crew says he has 12 hours to think about it before they're leaving this area. he takes off for shore, grumbling about it, meets the rabbit and then mary. meanwhile, stede and buttons follow to convince him otherwise and so buttons can explain the gravy basket. they still encounter anne and mary, they still do that whole thing, buttons changing is what convinces ed to do the probation, we end the episode with ed wearing the probation outfit and begrudgingly thumbing the bell. expand the scene where the crew are working on izzy's leg, just to have them talking in general a bit - oluwande is talking to jim about zheng, saying he misses her a bit.

Episode 5: Curse of the Seafaring Life: at the start of ep 5, we imply that it's been a few days to a week maybe, and ed is still on probation. he gives his corporate apology as part of his on-going efforts to show penitence and make up for what he's done, and we get a sense that he's been doing grunt work around the ship - repairing sails, fixing things that were damaged and broken - throughout. the crew's responses to the apology are pretty much the same as in the show, with some "it has been nice to have someone else doing all that shit though, right" about how he's been working. their acceptance of the apology is now equal parts because of the work he's done as well as a joke about corporate apologies working. Ed still feels frustrated about being on probation and stede has had more time to say he hasn't really felt like a captain, so he and stede have their captain voice exchange pretty much verbatim from the show. ed and lucius have been more or less avoiding each other all week, adding more nuance to ed living rent-free in lucius' mind, and ed offering to let lucius push him overboard. ed fishing with fang is part of him finally getting to meaningfully connect with another crew member again since the probation started, and is overall less about sitting with himself and more about him sitting in the moment, not just rushing to plan the next move, fishing is a great activity for having to be here, in this moment. the end credits stinger is the scene with zheng, ricky, and auntie.

Episode 6: Calypso's Birthday: finally, now on ep 6, probation has ended, we indicate that it's been a few weeks, someone mentions off-handedly that lucius and pete have been having a lot of all day marathon sex ever since they became engaged. when they head off to get party supplies, someone mentions maybe they should fetch them, and they all decide to leave the lovebirds to it. because of the added scene to episode 1, we've heard of ned low, and realize aw shit ed planted a seed of trouble back when he decided to go after that record. no other changes. meanwhile in town, olu sees signs of zheng's presence and that she's been here and laments a little about missing her, and wondering if maybe that's a good thing, if she's still pissed at him for what happened.

Episode 7: proceeds as happened in the show, that little bit strengthened by the passage of time, and also olu having actually been talking about zheng.