#I have NO good ship names 🔥

[crimson-chaser]

RAHHHH 🦅 🦅🦅🦅🦅

[afterglowsainz]

exile | joão felix

summary: no one knows about joão’s girlfriend, until an invitation to go to a game and an undesired ship with one of his teammates leaves him no choice but to post you

fc: various girls from pinterest

request: here

a/n: in honor of portugal classifying to quarterfinals … love joão i swear!! sorry it took me so long to write this it was just very general but i still hope you like it <3

—

liked by yourusername, jpcancelo and others

joaofelix79 🇵🇹❤️

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username let’s goooo!

username YOU’RE SO FINE

username we’re soooo back

username 🤷🏽

username im rooting for you 🔥

yourusername ✨✨✨ (liked by joaofelix79)

liked by bffusername, joaofelix79 and others

yourusername last days visiting💐

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friend1 ughhh so gorgeous!

friend2 have fun! miss you💗

bffusername prize to the prettiest girl

friend3 MINE

joaofelix79 😍

friend4 officially in love with you

liked by f1gossip, barcawags and others

mancitywags ruben dias was seen after the portugal vs czechia game talking with his partners and a mysterious brunette who can possibly be his new girlfriend

tagged rubendias

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username wow wow wow hold on

username omg she’s pretty!

username someone know who she is?

username i’ve been looking for her but she doesn’t seem to be famous

username damn ruben moves fast

username they look good together 🥰

liked by cristiano, yourusername and others

joaofelix79 quarters 🇵🇹

tagged cristiano

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username 🔥🔥🔥

username we’re winning this

username incredible performance so far!

cristiano 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹

yourusername cuteee🥰 (liked by joaofelix79)

username omg???

username isn’t she the girl that was seen with ruben?

username suspicious 🤨

liked by mancitywags, f1gossip and others

footballgossip the portugal national team was seen last night partying and ruben dias was spotted once again with the mysterious brunette which name is y/n y/l/n

tagged rubendias and yourusername

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username but wasn’t she commenting on joão’s post???

username and he comments on hers too🤨

username weeeeird

username maybe they’re just friends?

username why is she famous anyway?

username she isn’t

username guy she just went private 😩

username well i can’t blame her she went from having 800 followers to 350k in two hours

liked by yourusername, rubendias and others

joaofelix79 quality time❤️

tagged yourusername

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username WHAAAAT

username omg i can’t even process the first pic much less the other two

username last pic is so cute 🥰

rubendias clearing up the gossip 🤣

joaofelix79 the party rumor was a bit much

rubendias agree!

yourusername oh my god 🙄

username lol this team is not serious

username and now i’m in love with her

yourusername niceeee😮‍💨

joaofelix79 😇

[anonymouscheeses]

Drew my favorite! Sammy is the best I love her character smm >:3 she's also become more relatable with the problems she's been ignoring in episode 3! So I might kin her more now but thats fiine... I haven't watched past ep 3 SO NO SPOILERS ON THIS POST TY!!

AND THEN MY PRECIOUS BABIES 😭 YASAMMY FOR LIFE‼️ UGH IM SO GLAD THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY CANON IT MAKES ME TEAR UP! BROOK IS SHIPPING THEM EVEN IN DEATH 😍 I CANT BELIEVE SAMMY SAID YAZ IS PULLING AWAY FROM HER?? NONONO IM NOT READY FOR ANGST. ESPECIALLY BETWEEN THEM TWO?? NOO!!

Anyway since I haven't watched the entire show I'm gnna theorize real quick heheheh

SO. The dinosaurs are definitely being controlled by someone but who? I'd say kenji's dad but I'm not sure, I kinda forgot what happened to him 😭 he's still alive tho right? So I wouldn't put it off the table but it could also be Dr. Wu or whatever tf his name is I completely forgor abt him. Anyway to the stuff im actually interested in- BROOKLYN. SHES DEFINITELY ALIVE. RIGHT?? (Don't answer that) THERES NO WAY THEYD KILL OFF THE BEST CHARACTER RIGHT??? THERES NO WAY. PLUS THEY ALREADY RECASTED HER IN THE FLASHBACKS(btw I think the voice is pretty good! Idk if people have complained abt it yet but if they have... shut up??) SO WHY WOULD IT MATTER TO KEEP HER DEAD? THATS A WASTE OF MONEY PLUS. PLUUS. idk. I just kinda want her alive bro.... SURVIVE BROOKLYN. SURVIVE.

Also Yasammy marriage proposal one day? Please? 🗣🔥🔥

[moody4world]

In my business pt3

part2

y/n

512.377 views • Liked by jackharlow

y/n TBT TO MY FNF FREESTYLE 😏 @glorillapimp

View all 1.155 comments

glorillapimp 4m

Let’s gooooooo

1.317 likes Reply

luvvr1a 4m

@glorillapimp y’all are fiireeee❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

266 likes Reply

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shari_n_444 10m

🔥🔥🔥🔥

Reply

diorjada 6m

im like 80% of them views 😭 this is so harddd

333 likes Reply

everybodyhates_tasha 5m

My toddler started bopping as soon as this video played💀 that’s definitely my child cause this is too damn good

110 likes Reply

sarahlopezs 4m

@everybodyhates_tasha imagine having a toddler while its hot girl summer

Reply

everybodyhates_tasha 3m

@sarahlopezs Girl dont do me like that

Reply

justlikeamarah 7m

Now y/n i love you but why you lying??? we know you not S I N G L E NO MORE😭

205 likes Reply

sedanyprince 4m

@justlikeamarah CALL HER ASS OUT!!!

Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for y/n…

moodymagazine

Liked by djdrama and 380.47 others

moodymagazine Oh moodies! Last year the Louisville rapper #JackHarlow was seen rapping to #y/n FNF freestyle at the club. Do we think this might have been the start of their rumored romance or is it pure coincidence? Let us know in the comments below! ⬇️ Click the link in our bio or head to our tiktok for the full video.

#moodymagazine

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sneakyshae 3m

man these two never explain shit so we’re gonna be guessing forever unless they post each other

188 likes Reply

liloneder 2m

@sneakyshea You are so right thoooo i hate that about them🙄

Reply

jonah.jay 1m

@liloneder yo aint no way your momma named you oneder💀

Reply

biglolaa 1m

Yeah but even if they post eachother its gotta be a serious post because them mfs don’t take shit seriously. Always trolling so theyd be perfect together now that i think about it🤔

44 likes Reply

cyabiah 6m

now why tf did urban like this post😭😭😭 its a signnnn

55 likes Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for moodymagazine…

y/narchive

1.805 likes

y/narchive Y'all, call me crazy but i might as well change my user to y/nandjackarchive cause these fits look pretty similar to me 👀👀👀 AND at the same party... yeah they gotta be together. As long as our girl is happy i have no complaints though i hope there's flicks of them together at that party🤭

#y/n

y/ncloset 10m

omg this is definitely a hinttt, she has been very happy and like relaxed lately so i hope he has something to do with it🥹

3 likes Reply

lennymoris 3m

@y/ncloset RIGHT?! i noticed that tooo

Reply

yungkelly 8m

Omg her and central cee are actually over now that makes me so sad cause i ship them BAD but girl got good taste cause jack fine as hell🤤

6 likes Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for y/narchive…

jackharlow

Liked by y/n and 111.034 others

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nairobi 12m

WHAT ???? JACKMAN DONT PLAY WITH ME😤

22 likes Reply

taylorthesaylorr 10m

@nairobi NO CAUSE WHAT DOES HE MEAN???? AND THE NO CAPTION TOO

Reply

urbanwyatt 7m

and the crowd goes wildski🤪

32 likes Reply

jharlowupdates 6m

Urban tell us the teaaaa

Reply

psycholiah 5m

She liked the post nooooooo

13 likes Reply

stacey2dash 3m

@psycholiah i just fell to my knees in walmart

Reply

tray_. 1m

Just saw somebody fall to their knees in walmart

Reply

bbgrlashly 9m

i recognize that booty anywhere and this is y/n without a doubt man 😩💔im heartbroken rn nobody hit me up

3 likes Reply

zaydadon 7m

@bbgrlashly HAHAHA ASH you so dramatic stop it😭

Reply

bbgrlashly 7m

THE WHITE MAN STOLE MY GIRL ZAY😤

Reply

missionaryjharlow 4m

not you in your stepdad era now 🤭🫣

Reply

m3rcedez 2m

@missionaryjharlow i wonder if he even met them yet and i really wanna know how thats going for him cause her kids dont play abt their dad💀💀

Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

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[burningcheese-merchant]

I think redemption Spice needs to beat yandare Spice to death, as a treat. Might actualy be cathartic for him.

That would be the fucking best, honestly 😭 Reformed Burning Spice, after all of that time and hard work atoning for whatever sins he could, trying to find a new way forward as a different man, finally earning back his place in society; facing off against his shadow, his doppelganger, this demon wearing his face like a mask and his skin like a coat, this monster that has hurt and killed so many that is now sneering at him and calling him soft and weak for allowing himself to feel and be a real person again

You don't even have to make this ship-related necessarily, just have the Burning Spice who climbed his way out of the abyss VS the Burning Spice who jumped in head first and let the former, with all of his newfound experiences and perspective on life and the solace he learned to find within himself and others, achieve victory. Let this be his greatest and final act of redemption: slaying the man he used to be. Let good triumph over evil, as it can, as it should, and as it must. Let Damned Spice (gonna call him that while it's VS Reformed Spice) be brought to heel - not by Golden Cheese this time, but by someone so much worse: himself. Let his pride and bloodlust be his downfall, for neither can stand against humility and proper discipline. Let the face of ultimate defeat be the one he sees in his reflection - except while his own eyes burn with hatred and his own mouth is twisted into an ugly snarl, Reformed Spice's face is calm, cool, every breath and movement measured, his eyes alight only with righteous determination.

When Damned Spice is beat, Reformed Spice offers him one more chance to stop and turn back. People were willing to take him in and push him to start over, it was only fair that he pay that sentiment forward and let his other self have the option, as well. But he says no. Of course he does. Once a destroyer, always a destroyer. If there was ever a chance to help him, it's been gone a long time, and he didn't go looking for it for one reason only: he doesn't care anymore. He regrets ever caring in the first place. Life is meaningless, all that is fun and fair is destruction. What a shame that this fool that shares his name and likeness lost sight of that ultimate truth. He welcomes his defeat, he welcomes his death. It'll be the last worthwhile thing his inferior counterpart ever does.

Damned Spice is smiling when that axe comes bearing down on his head. He's smiling as he feels it sink into his neck, carving through his flesh, rending it from bone and then slicing through the bone, too. His body slumps forward, his head hits the ground with a thud. Still wearing that hideous devil's grin. He died as he lived, as he always wanted to live and as he always wanted to die: an unrepentant monster.

Reformed Spice is... not happy, but not sad. He feels... peaceful. Finally, he can claim freedom from his past. His demons have at last been bested. Perhaps he cannot undo what he did. Perhaps there are sins he can never truly be forgiven for. Perhaps there will always be blood staining the tapestry of his life, no matter what he does to wash it out. But how the rest of it is woven is up to him, and he has earned the wisdom and strength of character needed to make better choices. Now he can continue forward, into an uncertain but nevertheless brighter future, leaving the darkness behind without looking back. Had the tables been turned, the other Burning Spice would've done the same, anyway.

🔥 Absolute fucking cinema 🔥

(To properly address Reformed Spice VS Yandere Spice: what man wouldn't want to beat the shit out of the guy that's been constantly harassing his wife? That disrespected her boundaries and her personhood in such a vile, inexcusable way? Death is too good for Yandere Spice, but it's all Reformed Spice feels like offering him. The Devil can take care of the rest.)

[erisweekofficial]

Come here @queercontrarian - it's YOUR TURN! We're so excited to be highlighting Em for today's Eris Week Creator.

🔥 Em is one of our creators that both writes and draws for the fandom! Please check out her masterlist here, but we're particularly biased and love this absolutely gorgeous rendition of Eris. Want something to read? Try A Soft Place to Land.

🧡 She creates for multiple ships like Azris and Neris, but has such a wide variety of content that you should check out!

👀 Read on to hear some of Em's headcanons for Eris. And also Eris is coming to visit, what is she hiding from him!?!?

What's your favorite eris related creation?

I'd say my favourite eris-related creation isn't out yet so i'll name my agegap au eris instead. i like the vibe of the world he exists in and from azriel's pov he's such a mischievous, interesting attractive little shit

Give us your 3 favorite Eris Headcanons

He is an early bird. He has no musical talent. He's surprisingly good with children.

How do you come up with outfit designs for your characters?

i usually have a few real cultures that inspire certain characters or regions in my hcs so I go from there to look for more inspiration on google and pinterest to see what would suit the character. either that or it's just purely based on vibes

Eris is on his way over to your place? What are you hiding?

My emotional support plushies. they're already up on the shelf but i'll put them a bit higher - i feel like eris would let his dogs rip them apart play with them

[ooffmlsorry]

Hiii congrats for 100 followers!! ❤️ For the event, can I request Ace x reader with the prompt "mistletoe? how corny..." I think it would fit him haha ❤️

Eeeeee!! Of course I can and I so agree he’s such a goofball! Thanks so much for the congratulations! I really hope you like it! Mwah! 😘

A/N: I use the nickname "firefly" which I saw in a post by @eelnoise, just wanted to say I didn't come up with that but it's the perfect pet name, especially because it's gn.

🔥🔥🔥

Ace never liked winter. Most winter islands were barren and hostile. The cold buried people in layers, bullied them into their homes and hovels, suppressed by a natural—and sometimes unnatural—force of nature that they could do nothing against but endure. When snow came to the Goa Kingdom, he remembered it being the same. There was only so much he and his brothers could do outside of the mountain bandits home before they were freezing their little asses off and forced to retreat. 

Even with the mera mera no mi, he doesn’t like the cold. The winter air feels off on his skin because of his devil fruit. It reminds him of getting stitched after a numbing agent has been applied to his skin—knowing that part of him is being tugged but he can’t feel the pain. Winter puts Ace in a bad mood. 

The crew of the Moby Dick knew this, and like any family would, they tried to distract their brother to the best of their ability. And hey, if they benefited from it a little, then so what? Around the ship you could hear:

“Hey Ace! You mind taking care of that ice up ahead?!” 

“Bet you could heat this frozen barrel up in no time, right Fire Fist!”

“Do you mind helping us clear ice off the deck?” 

You sat on one of the cold, wooden benches, bundled up in layers with a mug of hot tea clutched close to your chest. Ace had something for you, something he’d never seen before, he said, but he couldn’t just give it to you and let you open it in peace. 

“That’s not how it works, y/n,” he had said earlier in the day. His fingers dug in a little as they rubbed up and down your arms, dragging his warm hands over your skin. His eyes always sparkle when he looks at you. There are stars up there in those eyes. Whenever you tell him so, he reminds you you’re the one that put them there. 

“Not how it works?” You raised an eyebrow. 

He smirks at you. His hands started to heat up as his cheeks turned a little bit pink. “I have to be there with you,” he said teasingly. Ace leaned down to plant a kiss on your lips, then pulled away just before your lips could meet. “I think someone’s calling my name, sweetheart.” 

You watched in shock, blinking in utter surprise when Ace snickered and sauntered away. (In all honesty, you didn’t know the man had enough restraint to not kiss you.)

Needless to say, your interest was piqued. What kind of gift requires two people? What had Ace found for you on his last mission? Ace always returned with something for you and you kept every single gift. Every seashell, scarf, flower, book, necklace, or trinket from him you saved in a now-empty tin of cookies he got you long before you started dating. All of Ace’s gifts were special, no matter how insignificant he thought they were. 

You watched Ace help brush melted slush off the ship. Your eyes met and he smiled broadly, sticking his tongue out at you. A soft smile spread across your face. How could a man that thought of you every day, that loved his crew so selflessly, be anything but good? How could you not have fallen in love with him? 

As if Ace knew what you were thinking, he stopped. The broom stilled in his arms. His gaze on you burned across your body. Ace turned to his crew member, Barry, and said something to him that you couldn’t hear. You did, however, hear the boisterous laughter that erupted from Barry. Ace picked up some slush and pelted him with it in retaliation. 

He shook his head and wiped snow off the sleeve of his jacket. “Young love,” he said. “Ain’t nothing like it.”  

Red bloomed under Ace’s freckles and his shoulders raised up to his ears. It was adorable seeing him suddenly look as bashful as a school boy as he walked over to you. By the time he got to you, he looked more like himself. 

“All done?” 

“Sure am, firefly.” Ace took the mug from your hands and placed it down on the table. He wrapped his arms around you. Even through your coat, you could feel Ace’s body already begin to warm yours. Your head rested on his bare chest, the jacket he wore was unzipped. For a moment you savored the rumble of his voice through his ribs, the sound of his heart beating strong and loud underneath skin and muscle. 

“I don’t think I’ve told you today how gorgeous you are,” he said. 

“You did,” you said. “You woke up in the middle of night, called me gorgeous and passed out again.” 

“Sounds like me,” he said.

You breathed in the scent of a hearth and the sea, and sighed as you exhaled. “Ready to—AAAH!!” 

Cold. 

Cold was the first thing you felt as slush ice slid down the bare skin of your back, trapped between your body and your now freezing, wet shirt. 

Before you can stop Ace he’s leapt over the bench and took off running, cackling as he made his escape. “Oh you son of a—” You grabbed the nearest handful of melted snow. All your shock and annoyance melted into glee at the panicked look on your boyfriend’s face. “I’m gonna get your ass!” You yelled and took off after him. 

Slipping and sliding on the deck, you weaved between tables and crew members. Cold wind whipped through your hair, whistling in your ears, and stinging your eyes. You followed the sound of Ace’s commotion, stumbled down the stairs and through the hall after him. Your and his laughter echoed behind you. 

Finally, you caught up to Ace who was standing still under the frame of his bedroom. It didn’t occur to you to wonder why he wasn’t still running from you. You were having too much fun. At this point the already melted slush in your hands had turned into water, there was nothing you could do but forcefully smack your cold, wet hand against his chest as you collided with him. 

“HA! I got you!” 

Ace’s arm wrapped around your waist to keep you both from failing. The man hadn’t even flinched.

“Did you? Did you really?” He said, grinning down at you. “It felt more like you were trying to splash me.”

You looked up at him, your lips pushed out in an exaggerated pout. “I can’t believe you did that! Now I’m cold and wet.” 

“Well, I can fix one of those things.” You almost instantly feel warmer as Ace begins to heat up. “I thought this would be more fun than just asking you to come down here,” he said. His hand cups your face softly. The hot calluses on Ace’s hands trail over your skin, gentle and tender enough to make you forget everything that led up to this. He tilts your face to look above him at the green sprig hanging above his door. 

You stare at the beautiful green color of the leaves and the red berries hanging delicately like pearls. Was this the gift? Had Ace really never seen mistletoe before? You pictured Ace coming across the flower on his last mission, maybe in the wild, but more likely someone selling it and being absolutely mystified by the tradition. 

So cute!

"Mistletoe?” You chuckle. “How corny…”

His shoulders slumped slightly. “I should’ve known you’d know what it is,” he said. His eyes no longer met yours. “I thought I’d be surprising you…”

You hardly gave him a chance to be disappointed, sliding your hands up his chest to drape over his shoulders before he could step away. “You don’t need to surprise me. You’re special enough all on your own, Portgas D. Ace.” You twirled your fingers around the tips of his jet black locks and felt him melt a little underneath your touch. “I would have you just as you are.” 

“How did I get so lucky?” Ace mumbled more to himself than to you. You didn’t know who he was asking, and it didn’t matter. You were exactly where you wanted to be. Ace looked at you, his eyes glimmered slightly. The love so plain in his eyes made your stomach flutter. “So if you know what is,” he said softly, “then I can bet you know what comes next?” 

Ace pressed his lips to your almost reverently, cherishing the feeling of your lips against his. Your eyes flutter shut and you enjoy the familiar bliss of his touch. Your fingers curled in his hair slid up to the base of his scalp to urge him on. Ace licked into your mouth as he pushed you up against the frame of the door, the wood pressed between your shoulder blades. When you pulled away you were both breathless with matching smiles on your faces. 

“I love you, Ace,” you said. 

And then he kissed you again. 

[theproperweirdo]

AFK JOURNEY RUSTPORT TRAILER THEORIES!!

All screenshots are from the second official trailer 🔥🔥 here’s the first one

Also BIG APPLAUSE to the Lilith team for this trailer, the music and visuals were absurdly good. I will be listening to the soundtrack and researching for the animation

Okay okay soooooo we’re gonna move in chronological order of the second video

Alright, the “Carmine” whispers:

The “Carmine” part is new, I guess they added it as an adjective? Weird. The name whisperers is from “the faint whisper coins make on cloth while being picked out of pockets.” I’m sad to loose that…

This guy in the glasses is also new. With this scene composition of Sonja and unnamed guy on the sides with glasses guy in the middle, it looks like he might be the boss of the Whispers here. Very different from the OG story, where Sonja and Nara built up the Whispers together as its bosses, before Sonja took over completely.

However, we get a snippet of Sonja pointing her cane toward Glasses McGee, so there’s likely internal conflict arising. She might overthrow him or something.

I don’t have any info on the guy on the right tho.

Sonja herself looks pretty different now. Less roses on the side of her head, and more thorn imagery on her design. No other major changes tho.

This snippet seems to allude to Rustport now being involved in weapon or some other form of manufacturing. Probably will be part of the main conflict. This is purely from the idea that they wouldn’t show anything in a trailer if it was irrelevant. There has to be a process of why they include shots right?? 😭😭

HODGKIN!! The dead tide fleet is here!! Looks like they’ll be against the Carmine whispers. This artifact (or relic, as he says) looking thingy that Hodgkin is holding seems pretty important. It may be why he has the allegiance of these sea-graveborn esq creatures. In the trailer, it kind of activates, and then a large Kraken like thing starts grabbing at the ship.

Nara is also in cahoots with the Dead tide fleet this time around. We see her fighting alongside them during both trailers. Means she’s no longer a whisperer??? We don’t know what happened to her in Arena after she died, so I have nothing to go off. Seems like they’ve got some form of an agreement here.

There’s that pretty new ranger woman, but her design screams fan service 2 me so rn I feel like she’s not entirely lore relevant. She’s probably got her own side story.

This new guy, Sinbad, seems to be our companion in Rustport. A handy magic compass and a history of treasure hunting means he could be after that artifact Hodgkin has. My theory is he grew up in Rustport, knows the town well, and has some kind of personal agenda against both the dead tide fleet and the Whisperers. He’s called a merchant in the first trailer, so I suspect he’s a black market relic seller in Rustport.

Graveborn lore!! Viperian has appeared 🙏 as an “unconventional” scholar, he’s either in Rustport for research/testing, or travelling with Nara and Hodgkin for his own reasons. With this season centred around LB/GB, we’re (hopefully) getting some more content of him.

AHHHHHH I love these two… little Nara and little Sonja… 😢😢

But it looks like they’re against each other in Journey. Or, Nara wants something from Sonja? She’s actively fighting against Rustport, maybe even wants to destroy and take over it. More likely that’s she here solely for Sonja tho. Her line at the end of the trailer “now you’ll never forget me, Sonja…” alludes to a possible misunderstanding from Nara, that Sonja had forgotten about her completely. Either way, they’re fighting each other 😢

Okay, now for more personal speculation. I’ll be referencing a lot of the OG story from Arena here.

Originally, Nara reawakens from the dead because of both her extremely violent nature, and her deep desire to see Sonja again. “The survival of the Whispers, or punishing the traitors—they were all irrelevant now. All she wanted was to return to Rustport, to the Whispers, and to Sonja's side, where those warm hands could once again comfort her icy soul.” She literally has a vision of Sonja’s hands reaching out for her when she wakes up again 😭😭😭

In this new Journey trailer, my guess is that Nara has been fed fake info— something along the lines of that Sonja didn’t care she was dead, and now has double the power she used to. Their dynamic looks like depressed grieving gf and angry resentful gf. It could’ve been Hodgkin or Viperian manipulating her.

I can’t think up any reason why Hodgkin would be attacking Rustport. He’s been known as “the most ruthless pirate” of the seas, feared widely and being infamous for his title. But I don’t remember him being after property or wanting to take over towns like that. I mean, he’s from Rustport. This could be a character rewrite (wouldn’t be new).

The big plot of this season looks like Whisperers vs Dead Tide Fleet, with the sub plots of Nara v Sonja, Sinbad, Relic (probably related to the Hypogeans or something), and Hodgkin against glasses boss. I wrote this up fast and we only have two videos out rn, so I’ll wait and see.

Please tell me ur personal thoughts and feelings 🤞🤞

[twyisontheline]

The fandom gave Alastor a harem, now he has to handle it

Why choosing one ship? Why multiship? Make them a polycule!

First, they teamed up and convinced Alastor to buy a phone (and to not destroy it two minutes after, disgusted with himself with how much he is willing to compromise for those fuckers). Things escalated from that really bad choice, and what started as 'Making a groupchat will make it easier to handle all of them blowing up my phone with messages and calls and those weird meeme things', is now half a nightmare and half a constant supply of amusement and flattery. They are a menace, singularly and collectively, and he has no idea how he found himself in this situation, but he can admit he finds it... tolerable. For some reason. Even if it involves him still having his phone showing 28 missed calls, a number of text messages he doesn't even want to focus on, least he starts reconsidering his life choices, and having to text the "Alastor's harem 🔥🫶🦌" group chat (he doesn't know who came up with the name and he doesn't want to know. Patience is a skill he refined at this point, for survival.) with reassurance and sweet words, when he merely spent an afternoon minding his own fucking business. Alastor: "Now, now, sweethearts, i was merely busy slaughtering a few Sinners. What is the matter?" Angel: "I am trying to be a good guy looking for redemption but without drugs or you, i am bored as fuck." Vox: "When you ignore me for a day, my soul crumbles and dies." Lucifer: "My ducks won't talk to me.

[im-out-of-it]

I just have some thoughts since I’ve watched the first three episodes now. some things I’m glad the show did and also the things that irritated the fuck out of me so let’s go 👏🏼

1. aging the characters up. I think this is smart to do and there’s more you can do with the rest of them if they’re in their early twenties instead of being teenagers. sorry not sorry but I’m not interested in seeing teenagers being chased by grown adults

2. Clary is still beyond annoying. I know she’s traumatized by losing her mom and not understanding this new world but literally coming in “I don’t care about the clave, about your rules, I just want to find my mom.” yeah ok we get that but there are still rules that need to be followed. you’re out here almost getting people killed and it’s all in the name of your mom. and I’m not saying the clave is trustworthy because they’re massive dicks but you can’t go around running and doing whatever you want lmao

3. please give Alec a raise or a year vacation. the amount of shit he deals with having to be jaces parabatai is too much. honestly, Alec deserves better. Jace takes advantage of Alec and I would have loved to see Alec have another parabatai, one that cares for him. I know you can only have one BUT CUT THE FUCKING CORD PLEASE

4. Magnus is fucking perfection

5. Izzy is perfection too 🔥 I do not blame Simon losing his tongue over her. my bisexual mind was like OOOOO ALEC NO MAGNUS NO IZZY NO RAPHAEL NO MAIA!!!!!!! NO ALL OF THEM

6. Clary and Jace are very cringe and I’m not sure if that’s on the acting or the writing but it makes it hard to believe they’re “in love.” I felt more connection with Alec and Magnus meeting for a second than I did with jace and clary in three episodes. even Alec and jace have a bit more chemistry than he does with clary. and that is something I DO NOT ship

Jace: I would die for you

Clary: but jace we just met

Jace: I don’t care if I throw all my friends and family away clary. we’re destined to be together

7. superb acting from Matthew Daddario. he’s absolutely wonderful and he really captured Alec’s angst in my opinion. you can see why he’s on guard not only because he likes jace (ew my man Alec WHY) and because he’s worried about the safety of his people. I feel like Matt captures the emotion without saying a thing so well. as does Harry. I think they’re both great at this

8. “This would be bad for clary.”- (talking about the cup and valentine) Simon “it would be bad for all of us”-Izzy. of course in Simon and clary world, everything is all about clary. I get simon is worried about his bff but this affects EVERYONE

9. if Simon was my bff and someone as jace talked to my friend that way, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. she doesn’t really say much, she’s all like “we’re a package deal.” honestly clary and jace belong together because they both take advantage of their friends. they’re both so self centered so let them run away as far as possible together

10. Alec is big sad now but you will have better, just you wait. also want to add, I enjoy season one for the build up Alec and Magnus but man do I hate Alec pinning after jace 🤢 but if there isn’t any incest, it’s not a proper CC story

11. Im just here for the Malec content. stuff that show did well: Alec and Izzy’s sibling relationship. I love these two so much. Clary actually being nice to izzy and being her friend, and not being mean to her cause she’s jealous. Magnus’s whole attire. I love this bi king so much. I love magnus, I love his sass, his makeup, his clothes. I LOVE HIM. I wish they would’ve changed his hair and makeup more in the last two seasons. kinda feel like they thought oh he has mascara on, that’s good enough. that pink hair is truly one of my favorite Magnus looks.

12. last thing to add that I like what the show did. I love that Alec actually knows how to fight. it never made sense in the books that he’s never killed a demon, especially since he’s a Lightwood. never made sense to me. I’m glad they allowed in the show for Alec to actually be able to fight 🏹

that is all for now until I watch actually one of the best episodes of season one. Magnus and Alec meeting 🥰

[hollowwrites]

Ominis Headcanons

🔥 This is my dumpster fire of Ominis 🔥

Burn with me.

I’ll refer to MC as Evelyn throughout this cause she’s my ship with Omi. This is basically my notes page. Things my conflict. Who cares? If anything grabs you please ask about it. You guys inspire me for way too much of my stuff 💚

I’m just gonna mix NSFW stuff in with this so 🔞MINORS DNI🔞

~

Fifth Year Ominis is too caught up in Sebastian’s bullshit to notice if he was going too far. He clings to any niceties afforded to him. You need help finding your class? Sure you can hold onto his arm. You’re aching from the Crucio ordeal? You can lean against him and have a nap with him. You become his coping method of losing Anne and Sebastian. He can forgive himself for opening up a little too much…he’s gone through a lot.

Sixth Year Ominis is straight denial. No they’ve always been this close they had to be because of Sebastian. Not that anyone else knows that. You just showed up and you’ve both been inseparable ever since. You’re just very good friends.

Seventh Year Ominis is determined, will stop at nothing until Evelyn is his (See Blindsided for evidence!!!)

Can touch his wand to things to see colour. Found out after he fell into Sebastian one time and jabbed him in the ribs. The Olive green of his waistcoat flashed across his eyes. Only discovered it that late in his life because by the time he’d gotten his wand he’d already become estranged from his family so kept away from them.

Has advanced Proprioception, the sense of knowing where your body is in relation to it parts. It extends to people around him so when he’s sat with his friends he doesn’t always need to have his wand out to know if they’re moving around. His wand extends and enhances it

His favourite subject is Defence Against the Dark Arts. He’s ridiculously good at it. I’ve wrote about good of a duelist I think he is here but I think it extends past that. He’s overheard so much at home he knows how to combat a lot of it. Good knowledge of curse both Unforgivable and otherwise. Probably caused a lot of tension in fifth year between him and Seb. Contributing factor to their iffy relationship because let’s face it they don’t really act like best friends.

Was an UNREAL seeker in third year. Won every match because he could hear the snitch from across the pitch. Imelda banned him after matches ended too quickly. Was completely unbothered, only joined because Seb begged him to

Tallest of the boys but doesn’t look it due to his posture being awful (Seriously why does he slouch so badly) (Does mean when he fully stands up he’s HELLA TALL)

Has little crescent moon shaped scars along his palm from clenching his fists in his sleep.

Really good friends with Garreth. I’ve wrote so much for those two I just can’t help it. He reminds him of Sebastian before his sister was cursed.

Has a really good relationship with Hecat. She told him stories in First Year about Professor Black from back in Hogwarts so he wouldn’t be scared of him telling his parents things. Probably why he’s not scared to talk to him.

Only speaks Parseltongue when he can’t control himself. When he’s angry, or in Pain or…other times 👀

Nicknames

Only uses terms of endearment as an insult. King of the ‘Oh Sweetheart’ in a smarmy way…still kinda hot

I don’t imagine he calls anyone by anything other than their full name. Sebastian is always Sebastian Never Seb.

Except Evelyn, she is everything but her full name. Unless he’s mad at her. Eve, Ev, V, Evie.

He’ll only call her pet names if the time calls for it i.e. I saw someone’s fic where he calls her Hummingbird and I LOOOOVE that (Sorry can’t remember who that was but THANK YOU!)

‘Be honest with me, Little Hummingbird. Your heart is so fast, I know you’re lying’

Liberal use of ‘Good Girl’ in the bedroom but only after they’re comfortable with each other.

‘Be a Good Girl and get on your knees for me’

🔞 NSFW Headcanons 🔞

He’d be the best to lose your virginity to. He would absolutely be tender and sweet. I love Dominis as much as the next gal but he would be so sweet

He’s either planed the whole thing and everything perfect (Undercroft all lit up with candles and blankets and VERY STRONG locking charm on the gate) or it’s the most wonderful spontaneous event (piled up breathless on the floor of the prefects bathroom)

Speaking of one or the other, Ominis is either the sweetest most gentle man on the planet or he is absolutely insatiable ravenous filth.

Likes choking, spanking and biting. Like pulling the little gasps and moans and hisses from her.

FOREPLAY KING he cannot see! You cannot tell me he doesn’t love hearing how worked up she gets until she’s begging for him (Loves begging too)

No guy is good at fingering but…👀 he is. It just touching and fingers THATS HOW HE GETS AROUND ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS HE IS GOOD AT THAT SHIT!!

Hates whenever you have to be quiet. Almost makes it a game to see if he can force her to make a noise.

Other posts where I spout waffle about Ominis here and here and here

Masterlist

[motor-city-selfryed]

☆ MOTOR-CITY-SELFRYED’S INTRO POST ☆

banner by the amazing @wrestlesource <3

☆ _______☆ old users: selfryedxpunk -> imnotselfryed -> punk-o-ween ☆ _______☆

on break, will be liking/reblogging things but not posting/liveblogging. (unless the mcmg arrives that is)

----☆ go follow my bestie westie pookie wookies @all4rhea (seo), @lixzstickz (lix), and @cr33p-a-z01d (ryan) yall r so lit and iconic and a slay love u guys sm /p !! ^_^ 🐬🌈

----☆ byf: im a minor but im extremely freaky for the ppl i love my bad, i LOVE rpf (real person fiction) in wrestling so if you dont like seeing wrestlers shipped together then this is not the place 😹

art tag | mcmg liveblogs | asks tag | yaps tag | wwe lb tag | aew lb tag

☆ _______☆☆ _______☆☆ _______☆☆ _______☆

🔆 hi im zari !! welcome to my blog! this is where i post about the only things that matter (my hyperfixations)...you may know me from my art side blog, where i post my artwork there! @selfryed (or you embarassingly know me from my live blogs)

🔆 some things about me: im an asexual biromantic + girlflux :-), tone tags r highly appreciated! i may yap or ramble when asked abt my interests, i apologise...

🔆 im a multifandom girlie! i REALLY REALLY REALLY love MCR (my chemical romance), green day, and WWE…they are my special interests! but you will find me reblogging/posting abt other things as well, especially good omens.

----☆ my current hyperfixations are the mcmg (extremely oh its so bad, its funny bc im actually from detroit 🔥) and cm punk (more of a spinterest, loved him for a year now!)

☆**side note! i understand if you may not like my faves, specifically cm punk, but please do not mention your hatred for him around me since it would be extremely rude to do so considering im hyperfixated on him. not cool!! :-(**☆

🔆 i usually live blog for wwe and aew + all the pay per views/PLEs they may have! the tag #wwe lb and #aew lb is where all of them are (beware LMAO)

----☆ wwe beloveds: cm punk, drew mcintyre, motor city machine guns, hangman adam page, the hardy boyz, aj styles, joe hendry, zachary wentz, edge, bret hart, shawn michaels, diesel, bianca belair, naomi, jade cargil, seth rollins/the shield, r-truth, cody rhodes, damien priest, kevin owens, aj lee, lita, rhea ripley, roxanne perez, iyo sky, liv morgan, zaria, jaida parker, hikaru shida, konosuke takeshita, adam cole, MJF, darby allin, karrion kross, scarlett, etc <3

----☆ other faves: stone temple pilots, laufey, radiohead, mitski, the beatles, queen, the smiths, pixies, pavement, etc // other interests: guardians of the galaxy/marvel, doctor who (4th doctor only), the last of us, hamilton, twd, etc

----☆ shoutout to all my moots! if you want to be friends, just ask!!! i would mostly want it to be within my age range (minor) but i don't mind adults being here as long as you know boundaries (not dming unless i allow it, not asking for things, etc)!! i also dont follow nsfw accounts just bc i don’t like seeing that kinda content on my feed :-)

🔆 if you want to follow/catch me on other sites, i have a youtube, pinterest, discord, bluesky, and airbuds! all by the name of @/selfryed <3

☆ _______☆ shutting down.... ☆ _______☆

[safarigirlsp]

I was so excited to see the ask game going around. I hope it perks up around here again 💛

Do you any HCs to share for Flip, Kylo, Jacques, and Mills??

🍔

🍕

Hello!! Thank you for sending this in! Today feels like the good old days with this dumpster fire hopping and the bs flying! I love it!!

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

Omg @iamburdened absolutely kills me with her comments. I have re read them 100 times and I smile like a lunatic every time. She's so dark and hilarious and I love her!

Here is just one example of her awesomeness on my fic Sinners Welcome!

@vedavan leaves some of the most involved and thoughtful and incredible comments I've ever received and I am so beyond floored at the amount of thought she gives. I am so thankful for her encouragement and support!

This comment on Here There Be Monsters made me swoon

Ahhhh!! Your stories are always such a thrill, a joyride from beginning to end, and this one was no exception. I loved every word, and your gift for action scenes and gorgeous descriptions shone so brightly here. I loved all the side characters too: from the colorful ragtag assortment of pirates and whores, to Legris' trusted crew and of course the legendary Pierre; the elegantly villainous Talvington and the mysterious, bewitching Grey Lady. Even the ship herself, the Belle Dame, was a character in and of herself. And of course as always I appreciate Carroughes disgusting appearance and his inevitable demise. Your obvious love and passion for the subject matter and for the characters (no one writes a better, hotter, more delicious male MC than your Legris 🔥🔥🥵) made this such a joy to read, and I was almost sad when it ended. Action, romance, drama... your stories have it all and I'm completely addicted. Perfection! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

@reveluving inspires me to write more insanity by her support and beautiful comments on my stories!

This is so hard actually, but I have to shout out to my favorite people here and the most supportive and amazing people I know who always spur me to keep churning out my bs and do more!

You, of course! @queeniebee and all the other friends I have here who instantly come to mind when I think of support and wonderful people! @babbushka @lumberjack00fantasies Silky!! @gabesprincess @mrs-gucci @rynwritesstuff @mythrielofsolitude @reylokisses @queen-of-elves @srorgana1 @kyloremus

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

Kylo knew you were the one when he found he could fight with you and argue without losing his temper. He has a famously hot temper. He's a notoriously violent man. But of course, he could never hurt his girl. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't lose his temper with her, or so he thought. He thought it would be a challenge, that he would feel his blood pressure rise and his teeth grind when you angered him, because naturally you're going to. It can be a little thrilling to push his buttons. But he never has lost his tempter with you, despite your best efforts. He gets hot and bothered in other ways, ways he channels to improve both your moods.

It's true what they say, that Beauty tamed the Beast.

No one can debate that Jacques has a winning personality. He's fun, lively, exudes charm and charisma, and has no hesitation putting on a grand show for his girl. However, like so many highly charismatic people, his charm was hard-earned and developed for survival. A self-made man, he had no name or fortune and had to claw his way up the food chain until he became a man of power. He remembers going dirty and hungry and cold, sleeping on the ground, awaking to a muscles that ached from cold and a growling stomach that couldn't be sated. Charisma was another skill he learned along the way to survive. Just as necessary to gain power and fortune as being able to fight, red in tooth and claw, was the ability to mingle, to befriend, to charm to amuse. He had to make himself useful in all ways to his betters until he outstripped them all.

With you, he finds that he doesn't need to act at all and that it's all natural and second nature. It makes him swell with pride when he puts a smile on your lips. He realized you were the one when he realized that making you happy made him happier, giving you pleasure made his heart soar. He will also ensure his girl, his family, will never know the feeling going hungry or cold, nor of being shunned and kicked aside. His table will always be bountiful and his arms always warm and loving for his woman. When he smiles for you, when he laughs and entertains, its genuine and it makes him love you more.

Flip was raised outdoors and helping on his family's ranch, breaking horses, branding calves, cutting timber, chopping ice, hauling hay. All the things his size and rambunctious temper were good for.

His upbringing made him a die hard western movie fan. Clint Eastwood is his favorite with John Wayne a close runner up and he's watched their entire filmography at least five times over with his dad. He's ensured his girl has seen all of his favorites and plenty of others too. True Grit, The Outlaw Josey Wales, El Dorado, Unforgiven, to name a few.

Westerns are his favorite movie genre. However, he is also quite a bit of an ornery jackass. As such, his favorite genre to watch with you is horror. He loves setting the stage, making sure the house is nice and dim, the temperature a little cool, a fire crackling in the fireplace. The ambience is perfect for a movie night in, and all strategically geared to make you want to get nice and close to him, against his chest and inside his arms. He will tease you mercilessly and goose you during the jumpy parts. Then he will laugh - bray- like the jackass he is. He deals with killers and criminals in real life. Horror movies don't phase him. Some big ungainly bastard with half his vision obscured by a mask, coming at him swinging a chainsaw that's telegraphed a mile away is hardly a challenge. Flip would have fun taking your average slasher out in spectacularly ballsy fashion. Flip loves horror movies and chill. He chills while you get chills.

Mills is tenacious and hard working in all ways. He will go the extra mile and work harder and longer than anyone. Complaints aren't part of his vocabulary and he never shies from any quantity of blood, sweat, and tears it takes to see anything through once he sets his mind to it. He's determined to the point of self destruction and will push himself far past the bounds of comfort and even good sense.

The area in which he's happy to put in the effort and diligence is for his girl. Once he sets his sights on her, nothing will deter him. He will tilt windmills and make every overture, simple and grand, to win her heart. As a lovesick teenager who didn't know a damn thing about girls, this took the shape of embarrassing acts like clumsily strumming a guitar and singing off key below his intended's window at odd hours of the night until angry fathers ran him off. He considered it a badge of honor when one particularly enraged father took a shot at his feet with a .12 gauge.

Thankfully, he has learned a thing or two and now applies his tenacious enthusiasm in better ways. He will cook for you and rub your shoulders until his hands ache. He will bring you flowers and take you out for a picnic that entails a ride in his bush plane out to a mountain lake to spare you the hike. He will carry you to bed when you're tired and hold you all night. He considers it a personal failure when he doesn't make you cum before him, and is dauntless when it comes to making you moan and sigh. He is the ultimate Golden Retriever Boyfriend. He will work every day to make you smile and never let the new wear off.

[thatonefatgumsimp]

alr ykw

liveblogging my reaction to tadc episode 3, let's

Goooooooooo!!

So ready to get autistic over my blorbos /sillyyyy

under the cut for ease of scrolling past :p

"and Zooble turns straight" I CAN'T, I'M- 💀 NAHHHH BRO HAD TO HAVE KNOWN WTH HE WAS DOING WITH THAT ONE

"What do you, the viewers, think it is?" You scrunch into a tiny bunny ball and get short. Final answer.

THE WAY CAINE'S FREAKING EYES NO CLIP THROUGH HIS TEETH, I'M- 😭 CAINE WHY /lhsilly

AWEHHHH GHOSTLY 🥺

✨z o o b l e g o e s t o t h e r a p y✨ /sillyyyyyy

That's a cool bee, you're doing great sweetie (probably still listen to Zoob tho)

Pomni really said let me innnn LET ME INNNNNN!! /sillyyyyy

"I love that it's locked ):<" me-core

"Do not let the head out of your sight" OH SHI-

THE 2D ANIMATED EYES!!!!! /POS I'M GOIMG TO EXPLODE

AUGH THE EYES!! THE CREEPY EYES BEHIND THEM! POMNI! POMNI TURN AROUND!!! POMNI IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YPU POBNI!!!!!

"Any torment I inflict is 100% accidental!! Just like any good war criminal." LMAOOOOOOO, CAINE- I'M- YOU'RE KILLIBG ME HERE, BUDDY- literally iconic line frrr, he acknowledges his warcrimes. We love a self-aware king /sillyyy

"I'm trying my best to remember what you and my brain won't tell me!!" He's so real for that tho...ADHD gang rISE UP! /sillyyyyyy

"What…what you're saying is that…I could be bad at the only thing I'm good at…and…that'd be…" It's OK to have a mental breakdown, bud, let it all out. There there...

Caine existential crisis arc while Kinger and Pomni are going through the horrors™ smh…/sillyyy

"How's about we take his gun?" KINGER GUN ARC POG?????

"Looks like we've got two shots…let's make it count" What if Kinger with a gun kinda scares me a bit /lhsilly ...like, he sounds so calm and composed, it's...unnatural for him...kinda unsettling...fits with the spooky vibes of the ep tho

"Which is what I would be saying if it wasn't one of God's angels" WHAT. WHAT. WHAT???!! BI- WHAT?!????? THE FREAKING PLOT TWIST- I'M- My brain is melting

"And your bodies will be my only means of doing so" HOLD UP. WAIT A MINUTE! SOMETHIN AIN'T RIGHT-

"I HATE THIS STUPID ADVENTURE!!" real…✊😔 Honestly a fair reaction given the current situation...although mine woulda been worse I think-

Awehhhhh 🥺 girl's tea party ✨, so real for that actually

"You know how men are…always having the silliest priorities" "don't I know it" *turns to Jax tied up* I WOULD say 'free my boy, he's done nothing wrong', but we all know that's a lie, he's a war criminal just like his dad Caine /SILLYYYYYYYY

"I wonder how long that'll be" probably a while, Gangle…

"How could I not be in literal hell right now???!?" First digital hell, now this smh…/sillyyyyyy

FRICK! NOOOOO MY GIRL'S BEING POSSESSED!! NOOOOOOOOOO- POMNI-! 😭

"YOU GET OUT OF HER, YOU DAMN EVIL SOULS!" 🗣️🔥🔥 YOOOO HE SAID DAMN, THAT'S ALLOWED HERE??? LET MY BOY COOK!! 🔥🔥🔥

"HOW'S YOUR WIFE, KINGER?" THAT'S EEEEEEVIL D: WTH, BRO HE'S ALREADY DEALING WITH THAT BUZZ OFF-

O.O wait...the breath holding from the beginning of the ep…QUICK, POMNI, BECOME RGB KEYBOARD!! KINGER, BECOME FLASHLIGHT!

"Why have you been acting so different lately?" NO, CUZ THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYINGGGGGG /lh

NOOOOOO- CHECKMATES (idk their ship name, shhhhhhh edit: it previously said chessboard, changed BC of the socks iykyk) ANGST NOOOOOOO- GOOSE. GOOSE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME- I'M- 😭

"She was funny, creative, really into entomology" STOPPPPP I'M CRYING, THE WAY HE TALKS SO LOVINGLY ABOUT HER, I'M- HOLD ON, I NEED A MOMENT…WAITWAOTWAITWAITWAIT- I'M-

…CHAT I NEED TO WRITE AND OR DRAW AND OR READ SOME CHECKMATES FLUFF, THIS IS KILLING ME /lhsilly

"I used to hate bugs, but…she somehow got me to like them" AWEHHHHHHH-! 🥺 GOOSE. GOOSE WHAT THE HECK, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY- /pos Chat, I'm melting into a puddle, help-

"But it's not. Not if you have people who care about you." I'M- GOOSE STOP 😭 SOBBING- I WAS PROMISED PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR, NOT THERAPY /sillyyyyyyyy

"In this world, the worst thing you can do is make people feel like they're not wanted or loved" OMG REAL!! 🗣️🔥🔥 ...and on that note, ily, moots and followers 🫶💖

"Maybe we can get through if we don't breathe!" CHAT. CHAT THEY FIGURED IT OUT!! KINGER, MY BOY!!!! YOU'RE SO SMART!!!!!!

AUGH KINGER GIVES SUCH DAD VIBES /POS I NEED A DAD-FRIEND LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE FRR-

OMG WAIT- KINGER HOLDING HIS BREATH IS THAT ONE MEME

THIS ONE-! QUICK, SOMEONE GO EDIT THAT!! /SILLYYYYY /NF

"Hey, Ragatha…I just wanna say…thanks for always being concerned about me" EXPLODING RN, CHAT- CERTIFIED BUTTONBLOSSOM MOMENT????? /SILLYYYY

"Did you remember to get my comedy mask?" "…F**K-!" KINGER SWORE??????? OMG???? REAL, LET HIM COOK- LET HIM COOOOOOOK!!

CAINE IN THERAPY LMAOOOOOOO REAL

"quick, pretend we weren't having a therapy session!" LMAOOOO?? CAINE IS SO SILLAYY-

"Wwwwwelcome back, my meowing milkmaids!!" "…don't ever call us that again." Lmaooooo Jax-

...

Screaming

Crying

Clawing at my cage

That was so good- I'm-

Hold on, chat, I'm going feral rn /sillyy

[ajcrawly]

🔥!!

🔥- Name a crackship, now convince me why it would work!

In all honesty the problem (?) with TLT and this question is that it's so easy to find justifications for nearly all ships. As Archimedes never said, 'give me a situation big enough and I'll make those blorbos kiss'

I mean, whatever it is, it can't be one of the Lyctors - God's duplicitous sluts will get it on with anyone, in any permutation, given enough time and 10,000 years of emotional fuckery to draw from. There's some absolutely killer fics out there pairing various lyctors with Palamedes, and they all slap.

So, leaving out the Lyctors (much as I adore them) gives us this rather darling random selector as below, non-exhaustive but I think I hit the main beats:

Putting in a break here because this gets long:

Spin 1 gave me Ianthe and Alecto which would seem to be ill-fated given that (1) Alecto's out to kill God, which Ianthe doesn't want (yet) and (2) Their first meeting was a literal slap in the face to Ianthe, which may not be a deal-breaker but certainly wouldn't help

But if we wind canon back a tad and give ourselves a world in which John didn't imprison Alecto on the Ninth, the Mithraeum set-up looks a little different. Here's Ianthe confronted with the same power dynamics we see in HtN, albeit with the addiiton of one extra who:

Is God's undisputed favourite

Scares the shit out of the other Lyctors (what a power play!)

Exists as a very literal manifestation of Resurrection magic, Ianthe's chosen topic of interest.

Ianthe can't lie to Alecto - nobody can - and she's not going to win her over with kindness and good graces, but she's not above using vulnerability to her own ends and Alecto (six foot, blonde, quite possibly bears more than a passing resemblance to Coronabeth) might find herself confronted with somebody who very honestly and earnestly wants to spend time with her and get to know more about her, even if she isn't necessarily being honest about why that is. Meanwhile, Alecto - who has spent the last 10,000 years on a spaceship with only John and the other Lyctors for company - is lonely. And here's somebody new, and bizarre, and potentially interesting. At the very least they might chat. Alecto 'this is how meat loves meat' the First might find herself quite comforted by someone who's all too willing to lean into brutality and take everything at face value if that's what's required of her.

(Where's Harrow in this AU? Good question - not only does Gideon not exist in an AU where Dios Apate never occurred, it's quite possible that neither does the Ninth House; we know it was never supposed to, and whatever it is, it doesn't have the theological weight of the Tomb behind it, which diminishes its already-shaky claim to status. Either Harrow doesn't exist at all, or she does, but she wasn't invited as a scion to Canaan House with the rest)

I'm just saying, I could see it.

Anyway, just to labour the point further:

Spin 2 gave me Palamedes and Wake which I grant you is significantly more tricky but let me give it the old college try:

Okay, so first we have to concoct a situation in which Palamedes and Wake would ever get to meet, which is somewhat hampered by the fact that she died when he was two years old. But we don't let a little thing like death stop us in the necromancy books, do we? There are options with regard to revenants (e.g Palamedes Ascends to Lyctorhood and meets Wake-in-Cytherea - what a confusing interaction that would be for the poor fellow) but I'll constrain myself to actual living Wake for the thought exercise.

Option 1: Taking the above AU for sheer convenience, if the Tomb is never sealed and Dios Apate never occurs, Wake doesn't die on the Ninth. She's alive (wahey!) and therefore free to meet the Master Warden at a later date.

Option 2: Wake does crash on the Ninth but survives and makes good her escape, living to fight another day

Option 3: Wake does crash on the Ninth, survives and is taken prisoner, kept on Ninth for a brief period before being presumably picked up and taken away by the Cohort (from where she can escape, be murdered by them, hostage exchange, indoctrination, all manner of options)

In either options 1 or 2 we have the option of introducing Wake at Canaan House as one of the BOE operatives working with Cytherea intending to pick over the rubble of the various dead Lyctors, only slightly inconvenienced by the fact that (1) Wake wants Palamedes dead and (2) even if she didn't, he rather unhelpfully kills himself

So instead, let's do a necro-cav roleswap because frankly I love them and examine cavalier Palamedes Sextus. Still immensely smart, still writing letters to Dulcinea, still inseparable from Camilla Hect. Could Camilla Hect be the Master Warden? Arguably. Could Palamedes Sextus be a cavalier primary? Alas, I doubt it - I can imagine a world in which he doesn't have necromantic aptitude, but not one in which he has physical coordination. In this AU he probably ends up on Sixth forever (in data) except that he's still writing to Dulcinea, concertedly studying non-medical necromancy and writing increasingly impassioned papers about how 'necromancy for everything makes one lazy' and shouldn't we all be thinking a little less about animaphilia and a little more about basic curative practices (and can we please stop stabbing ourselves with implements that haven't been appropriately sterilised, how we haven't all died of sepsis by now is God's own mystery) -

And he starts to make a name for himself, and draw a reputation, because if Palamedes Sextus is anything it's chronically unable to shut up. Which is to say, you've been headhunted and it's off to the Cohort with you, chum. Non-necromantic medics are a rarity, but very useful for thanergetically-depleted environments where it's inconvenient to start killing off the population just to heal your cav's broken ribs. Now we have a Cohort Palamedes (under significant duress), separated from Camilla (heartbreaking, sorry) and Dulcinea (likewise) operating in the field primarily in environments which are inhospitable to necromancers - thalergenic planets, the outskirts of Empire - and therefore able to potentially run into BOE. Now we're talking!

From here, options. Hostage situation? Palamedes gets captured by BOE and talked around to the evils of empire as we see in As Yet Unsent. More likely, operating as a Cohort medic out on the fringes and in the thick of the action, I think we might start to see Palamedes doing this of his own volition - and in a situation in which he finds himself with a room full of people who need healing, he's not going to give much of a fuck who is Cohort and who is BOE, he's far more concerned with who is dead and who is instead merely dying and therefore somebody he can help.

Anyway, one engineers a meeting between Palamedes (cocky, jaded, I think significantly spikier from a) not being a necromancer b) separated from his loved ones c) generally fucked off by the crushing reality of imperialism and war) and Wake (landmine person, takes no shit). Necromancer Palamedes and Wake are a non-starter, but as a cavalier - and a medic, no less - he's a useful tool for her. They'd fight like cats in a bag but I think he'd be impressed by her, and she might be amused by him. He bickers and argues and generally makes himself a nuisance. She's a firebrand leader with an absolute singleminded focus. I can definitely see charged moments over wounds and bandages, that's all I'm saying.

Look, am I saying that I'm going to start shipping Ianthe/Alecto or Wake/Palamedes anytime soon - probably not. But !! Every time I see a 'crackship' or something totally new where someone's figured out a way to get different bozos into the same get-along t-shirt, an angel gets its wings. Absolutely no offence to all the people out there writing modern (frequently college) AU griddlehark but nothing thrills me more than seeing a ship tag and having to do a double take because ??? who put them in the same room?

I don't know if that answered your question at all actually but thank you for asking it ilu aust <3

[anyamusumesonlywife]

Hellooooo !! name's Dylan or Avery! Pronouns are they/he/shi/aer/stars some self inserts have other names i use!! only call me them if close ^_^ i can usually only focus on 1 f/o at a time so!! if my layout changes a bunch, that’s why. ^_^”

anya’s one and only 🌌♥︎ (10/29/24)

mike schmidt's husband 🔦♥︎ (10/30/23)💍 i'm a non-sharing yumeshipper! i am also an artist! and i write... Occasionally

dni; basic dni criteria (tl;dr : if ur a freak), proship/profic whatever (block me), if you selfship with my f/os, canon ships with my f/os (unless there is a note beside them on the list below!) AI "art" supporter, endogenic/supporter, anti non-sharing yumeship, genshin fans (unless close). I block freely!

f/os under the cut ✨

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Romantic! (not the full one, just main ones <3)

♥︎ Primary ♥︎

Anya Musume (Mouthwashing)

Mike Schmidt (FNaF Movie)

Vanessa Shelly (FNaF Movie)

Billy (Burn 2019)

Derek Danforth (The Beekeeper)

Josh Futturman (Future Man)

Peeta Mellark (THG) (im a katniss introject hii hello)

Clapton Davis (Detention 2011)

David (Long Gone Heroes)

Two-Face / Harvey Dent (DC/Batman)

Edward Nygma / The Riddler (Gotham TV, Arkhamverse)

Toy Bonnie (FNaF 2)

Vanny (FNaFSB)

Allan Red (Smiling Friends)

Daisuke (Mouthwashing)

♥︎ Secondary ♥︎

Nick Furcillo (The Quarry)

Goro Majima (Yakuza) (kazumaji is fine!)

Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza) (kazumaji is fine!)

Nishikiyama Akira (Yakuza) (majikarp is fine,, but i doubt anyone else ships them LOL i love them personally,,..)

Wallter (Regretevator) (wallmark is fine!)

Mannequin Mark (Regretevator) (wallmark is fine!)

Wynona Whitecloud (Grimsburg) (i am the first ever wynona selfshipper :3)(lets keep it that way)

Adam & Barbara Maitland (Beetlejuice) (Polyam)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Familial!

Sun/Moon (FNaFSB) (Parental)

Josh Washington, Ryan Erzhaler (Supermassive games) (Sibling)

Abby Schmidt (FNaFM) (Sibling in law)

Primrose Everdeen (THG) (Sibling)

Effie Trinket / Haymitch Abernathy (THG) (Parental)

Roxanne Wolf (FNaFSB) (Parental)

Glamrock Freddy (FNaFSB) (Parental)

Chilli Heeler / Bandit Heeler (Bluey) (Parental)

Frisky (Bluey) (Parental)

Captain Curly (Mouthwashing) (Sibling)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Romantic Tag Guide!

🌌 || starry eyes - dylanya/toolkit tag

🔦 || lovesong - lullaby/dylmike tag

🐰 || its you hiding in limelight - dylnessa tag

🔥 || supermassive black hole - dylan/billy tag

🥂 || i wanna be yours - wolfderek tag

🏹 || always. - everlark tag

🛹 || romantic lover - clapton/ash tag

📟 || killshot - david/dylan tag

🌗 || harvey - dylvey/twoshifter tag

🎀 || everyone adores you (atleast i do) - dylbon tag

🩸 || this comes from inside - dylvanny tag

🧀 || tea errors - dylallan tag

🐺 || lovefool - kaznick/furgrove tag

🐶 || messages from the stars - dylmaji tag

🐉 || today is a diamond - dylkiryu tag

🐟 || late night drive home - nishidyl tag

🧱 || somethin stupid - wallter/dylan tag

🪵 || hey lover - dylmark tag

🧪 || good luck babe! - wynona/ashton tag

📔 || handbook for the recently deceased - maitlands tag

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Familial Tag Guide!

🚀 || intertwined sewn together - curly tag

🍬 || superstar daycare - sun/moon tag

💚 || platonic soulmate - ryan/josh tag

🖍 || coloring book - abby tag

🌹 || little duck - prim tag

💝 || team - effie/haymitch tag

🏁 || her favorite - roxy tag

🌟 || my superstar - glam freddy tag

🐶 || the heelers - chilli/bandit or frisky tag

I look forward to making new selfship mutuals!!! <33