#I hate writing purely comedy

[hollow-point-heart]

I finished it, it made my flatmate chuckle so success. God bless writers duet for having a comprehensive ui but fuck them for not letting me have more then like five projects open at once.

One day I'm going to get halfway through a script and just throw my laptop out a window

[mkstrigidae]

Coming back from the dead is the kind of thing that can really fuck up your weekend, as Jon has recently found out (especially considering that he’d paid a mint for those concert tickets, thanks). On one hand, the bureau paperwork is horrifying, and the less said about his skyrocketing health insurance premiums or this year's taxes, the better. On the other hand, though, Sansa Stark, the pretty head of the medical/pathology research division and long-time object of Jon's affections, has insisted on giving him her utmost attention until she’s sure he’s back on his feet and fully among the living.

[aajjks]

FUCK! (I)

synopsis. You hated your roommate but he had the biggest crush on you, fuck.

pairing: fboy!jk x fem!reader

genre: f2l, e2l, roommates au, fboy au (wow so many cliches), comedy au, mature themes, bad language, sex jokes.

warnings. simpy simp koo. soft koo, sentimental koo, yns got some issues, relationship issues, fuckboy koo, hater yn(?), cringey, he’s so nosy, jealousy, bad first date, yn is a heartbreaker actually, they are both very blunt w each other lmaoo.

disclaimer. this is purely fictional and this doesn’t represent bts’ jungkook irl. mature themes 18+ content ahead. mdni. ps. this jungkook thinks w his dick 👍

note. SHARE FEEDBACK AND ENJOY! xx also I’ve been having the worst migraines for the last two days so plz forgive my shitty writing.

fic teaser.

series masterlist.

*not edited*

tag list [1]: @theblueslytherin @telepathytae @bergandysam @ughbandmembersx @taemond-in-the-ruff @dopepbanditlightpie @jungkooksseuphoria @ninanyctophilla @nk719 @wobblewobble822 @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @babycandy111 @alicebleu @withluvjm @bangtannie7 @ghaieeunit @bloopkook @chocomintkook @kookie-vuitton @uzumegui @goodkamma @actuallyada @kagami-s-void @jeonpendejo @blushblossomsblog @1-in-abillion @yahjiminssrecs @rheee-exe @tae-hibiscus @sangwoosimpie @dimguin @onlythebest-106 @cprcupcakkev@breadcheeksseokjin @aprilspring @laurynne5 @aureumjeon @lovebts-beca @luv���you @slid3er @bebejungkook @koo-kz @jamlessstars @shinyun @kookwolf @author-ssi @kakuzone @aliimac @bnagtanx1306 @pb-n-juju @mintsugarmy @apollukee @fairy-jaykay

“You look hot, going somewhere?”

Jungkook looked at you, his eyes carefully watched you as you came out of your room, you looked up to see him, there he was, sitting against the kitchen counter with a bottle of soju in his hands.

“Thanks for confirming. Yes I am.” You replied, looking for your red heels. You had put them right outside your room at the halls walls.

“I think your heels are there.” Jungkook pointed to the opposite side of the wall and you hmm, muttering a ‘thank you’ as you pick them up and wear them.

“Goodness I think I’m kinda late already.” You huff in disappointment. Jungkook chuckles at that making you stop what you’re doing and you roll your eyes at him.

“It’s not funny, jeon.” Jungkook shrugs. “I didn’t say it was, but it’s just such a you thing, yn.” He’s got that playful smile on his lips, “you’re always late.” He states it as a matter of fact.

Your housemate is so annoying.

“Haha okay.” You reply to him sarcastically. Jungkook winks at you.

“So is it a date?”

And very nosy too.

“Why do you care? But yes.” You pick up the purse and your coat, wearing in a hurry. “I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes though.”

Jungkook nods, his lips pursed together in a straight line. “When is it going to be my turn yn?”

That question makes you stop in your tracks.

“When can I take you out on a real date?”

You sigh, “jungkook.” You don’t know how to say it, he knows the answer but he always asks the same question again and again.

“You just broke up with your girlfriend.” You remind him, grabbing your keys. “And never�� It’s hard for you to be so blunt about this, but you have to be honest.

He’s not your type.

“You’re not my type.”

You hear his tongue click and he gets up from the seat to walk up to you.

“Ouch. Too bad you are my type.” He confesses. “But it’s okay. I’ll just have to wait and convince you.” He rolls his arms across his chest.

“Have fun.” He winks again and stares at you in a weird way, almost like if he was heartbroken, you gaze back at him and it makes you feel like a bitch.

but you know better.

Guys like Jungkook were never heartbroken. Guys like him broke hearts.

“Thanks jeon, you too.”

And you can’t afford to have your heart broken again.

You feel like it’s almost and truly hypocritical of you to go on a date whilst keep rejecting Jungkook.

And this is not fun either.

“Umm, I don’t really have anything fun to share about me.” You are not sure of what to say or how to make this conversation go forward.

It’s been so long since you’ve been on a date.

And this guy? You’re not too sure about what to feel about this. “It’s okay. I know it can be hard but, you do seem interesting to me,” He seems okay. But you are not too sure if you want this to go further.

And it’s not him that’s the problem.

You are.

“Also the food was quite good? No?” Your date, Hyun-Jae asks you, you smile despite your inner dilemma and nod. “Thank you, I really did enjoy this time with you.”

A lie.

You did not, actually this was a mistake, you had just wasted a nice guy’s time. Why did you even agree to this? You weren’t ready emotionally for dating again.

This was a bad decision and you feel so bad.

“So? It’s quite late now? Would you like for me to take you home?” You stand and the man follows. “Umm actually Hyun-Jae? You go ahead, I’ll manage.”

The smile of Hyun-Jae falters.

Damn, you really are a bitch

God, the guilt that’s weighing down on you has you feel suffocating, your past relationships have fucked you up so bad.

You give him a small smile and bow your head, the guy doesn’t speak a word and does the same, you pick up your stuff and pull out your wallet to get the cash out, you put it on the table and signal the waiter.

“I’m sorry.” That all you say before you leave the restaurant.

You don’t think you’re capable of dating someone anymore.

Jungkook feels so distracted.

For the last few hours, especially since you left. His mind has been fixated on the same thing.

You looked so incredibly beautiful in that dress.

And someone else had the privilege of seeing that so closely, probably. He munches on the popcorn harder, so much that he almost bites his tongue.

Jungkook wants you so bad.

The movie plays yet it fails to interest him, your thoughts are enough to keep him occupied, he doesn’t understand this infatuation that he has with you, his roommate or housemate.

You are so effortlessly beautiful, that’s for sure, you’re so different from what he’s used to when it comes to women.

You have him hooked.

But you don’t want him, you’ve made that clear since day 1. It is unfortunate for him.

But maybe it’s his karma.

Jungkook’s eyes are fixed on the large screen but the frustration doesn’t die down.

He wishes you’d want him too, give him a chance to prove that he can change. He can change for you.

Meaningless sex is actually worthless to him now, it doesn’t help him get over this huge crush that he has on you.

And his methods of ‘getting over you’ aren’t the most moralistic, they don’t help his case either.

No matter how much clear Jungkook makes his interest in you, you keep on rejecting him.

Maybe this is what he deserves for being a fuck boy.

A chance at love gone.

Before Jungkook can sulk into the couch even more, the door opens, his ears perk up at the sound of your keys juggling and he tilts his head, muting the film.

“Welcome back, yn.” He stands up as you come in, putting the bowl of popcorn down, you greet him back, shutting the door behind you.

“Hey jeon.” You look at your roommate and see a silly smile on his face. “Bad date I’m guessing?” He grabs your coat and purse as you sit down on the couch.

Your feet hurt a lot.

“Bad me.” You sigh sadly. Jungkook sits down beside you, looking at you with his brown eyes filled with curiosity.

“What do you mean?” He asks you and you close your eyes.

He’s going to think you’re so stupid.

“Yeah no I just… in the middle of the dinner with such a nice guy I realised my relationship issues. I can’t be a good partner.”

He doesn’t reply, Jungkook knows you well. His feelings pushed aside, Jungkook knows you have a lot going on.

“Jungkook I feel so bad…” you don’t look at him but he can tell you’ve got tears in your eyes. It makes his heart clench.

“Yn..” he calls out your name, moving closer to you to hold you tight. “It’s okay.” He pulls you into his embrace and you don’t resist, letting him take you into his arms.

Jungkook holds you so close to his heart.

It feels so good to him, that is a foreign feeling for him.

“It happens, you’ve been through so much. I’m sorry.” He apologises to you, “you’re perfect though, y’know?” His hands caress your shoulders.

“Even though I used to be such a fuckboy? I too used to have a ton of bad dates.” He laughs, you laugh too, it makes him happy.

“You’re still a fuckboy, koo.” You reply, and he tells you to shut up.

“That’s not the point yn. But if you feel so sad, let’s have some ice cream together and watch a movie and you can vent all you want.”

“I’ll always listen to you, your dear fuckboy is here for you!”

It only makes you laugh harder. And he can’t stop smiling like a fool hearing you laugh so beautifully.

Maybe it was better to be a simp instead of a fuckboy.

[shira-cosmic-star]

hey!

im still in episode 3 of tb but Leo pissed me off in ep 2 broooo

and MC who doesn’t defend herself like 😔😔😔😔

WHO IS HE TO CALL MC A NPC 🙄🙄🙄

anywayy so I thought if you can write hcs with Leo, Tohma and Romeo x MC who outsmart them please ?

I hope I didn’t disturb you 🫶

thank you 🙏

𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓶𝓪𝓭𝓮

Tags: Comedy, Romance, Enemies to lovers(?), slice of life, supernatural 

Characters: Romeo, Leo, & Tohma 

Warning: cursing, seductive on Tohma’s part

 Word count: 2,066 words

Leo:

You knew you weren’t smart in the same way Leo is. However, you were still witty. Often when he would insult you. You manage to always have a comeback. This interaction would go different ways. One, Leo would actually get upset. Maybe mumble, “bitch” after you shut him up. Two, color him impress. He liked the interaction and would playfully bicker with you. Three, he would be caught off guard. It would take him a minute to think about what to do next. Then, a sinister smile takes place. Everyone knows, he is up to no good... 

So, what does he do next? He will do everything he can to get under your nerves. This dude loves to reactions you give him. Although, he finds himself more frustrated, rather than pleased. Why? 

Simple, you weren’t giving him the time of day. You were well aware of the type of person he is. He was basically those type people, who bullies others to get what they want. A pure bully.  

Often when he talked down to you. You would try to handle your anger. Though, as much as you hate to admit. There were times where Leo did hit a nerve. Leo knows what button to press. He often pressed them as many times as he could. But what happens when old tricks don’t work anymore?  

Leo would often insult your friends to get under your skin. Yet, when it didn’t work this time. It displeased him, he tsked as he watched you react to his words like it was nothing. So, he changed his approach. If insulting your friends won’t get your attention. Then maybe he needed to attack you personally?  

He started to insult how you dressed, what you would say in conversations, how you made a mistake on anything and so on and so on.  

Nothing worked, he balled his fist as steam of rage shoots out of his ears. Why don’t his tactics work? He complained over and over to Sho. His best friend grew tired of the constant complaints. Sho was at his wits end with his friend. So, he asked Leo why does he care so much? You were just an NPC, right? So, what is up with Leo being obsessive over you? 

First Leo was in denial. “Me? Obsessed over that NPC? Don’t be stupid.” For a while, he was in denial. He actually loved the witty comebacks you shot back at him. It was smart, creative, and it was like you were ready. There wasn’t a dull moment with you. As much as he hates to admit it to himself. He enjoyed being around you. 

After realizing what this meant. He now needs to figure out how to get your attention. So, the game began. He’ll find creative ways for you to speak to him. He wants you to bicker back and forth with him. But he wants to be on good terms with you too. Everyone knows an apology would work. He’s too prideful, that won’t work in his case. It was set, he was going to challenge you to a game. Loser takes the other on a date. Leo planned to win, and he did. 

Now you were aggravated about the date thing. But you knew Leo wasn’t going to let it go. Therefore, you invited him to the arcade. You challenged him to all of your favorites. Surprisingly, you both were having fun. By the end of the date. Leo asked, why were you ignoring him. 

“I did it because I knew it would trouble you, Leo.” He blinked, “Troubled him?” 

Now it dawned on him. You knew Leo hates to be ignored. So, you played him. Seeing him basically beg for your attention was your planned all along. In shocked and impressed, he looks over to you as you smirked cheekily at him. 

Boy did he fall hard for you.  

Leo have finally met his match. 

Romeo:

You and Romeo weren’t always on the same page. Often, he would yell at you when you don’t understand his abbreviations. When this would happen, you felt exhausted, how on earth were you supposed to know? Even though he would often abbreviate his speech. There were times you did understand what he was saying. You were a tad bit quicker than others in the room.  

When you are at the casino or his office. Romeo would demand you to do this and do that. You were deeply over it. So, to get back at him and make him possibly leave you alone. You came up with your own plan. While making errands for him. You would purposely take your time. He needs a certain document from Professor Hyde? Sure, you’ll get it for him. Although, you’re going to take your time. Oops! You showed up with the papers two hours late? He doesn’t want to hear any excuses. Not, that you had anything else to do. Jin, Leo, or anyone really bothered you that much today. 

If you were tasked to clean his office. You would purposely make even the tiniest mistakes. After observing him and his behavior. You completely knew how to set him off. Why can he clean up his own office? Or his own mess? Or anything really? Pretty boy s just spoiled rotten in your book. As you were cleaning the spilled sparkling wine. You “accidently” smothered it more on the floor. It had left a brutal tough stain. This annoyed him, he yelled at you to do your job correctly. While tilting your head to the side and blinked slowly. You acted innocent and dumb. “Like this?” you questioned him as you made the stain even worse. 

Boy, if looks could kill. You would’ve been dead by now. Romeo was red to the face, a thick vein popped out on his forehead, his hands balled up, and smoke coming out of his ears. He had enough of you. “Enough! How useless can you be!? You’re even worse than that TGA!” You fought hard to keep up the act and not smile or laugh. He takes the rag out of your hand and decided to clean up the mess himself. 

He grumbled on how everyone is stupid and useless. He tells you to get out as he cleans up. In your sweet fake upsetting tone. You spoke softly with a deep fake sigh, “Okay...” His back was facing you. Satisfied, by your work, seeing him on his knee cleaning his mess. You smirked and went home. 

Later on, Taiga went to look for Romeo. When he finds him, Romeo was still annoyed by the whole thing. “Lulu, what got you all angry? You’ll get wrinkles if you don’t relax~” Taiga teased. Romeo quickly turns around and tells him to shut up. “Honestly that new student is working on my last nerve! They can’t do anything right!” His rant goes on for quite a while. Romeo was now finished in his nicely cleaned room. He sat down on his couch and told one of the general students to get him a drink. Taiga, resting on the couch next to him was wearing a smirk on his face. 

“What is it TGA?!” Taiga had a small clue on what happened here. Kitty cat wasn’t a dumb little cat. Oh no, Kitty cat was a sneaky and slick kitten. Color him amused by the antics. “Are you sure they didn’t do this on purpose?” His words held a teasing tone. That is when it hit Romeo. You have purposely made him angry just so he would do his own work. He was angry, but maybe he was impressed too.  

You knew what cards to play. You have successfully won the game. 

Tohma:

This man is hard to break. He’s sharp, too sharp. Most people can’t even tell what he is thinking or what is his next move. You on the other hand love secrets and mysteries. He was a whole book of nothing, but wonders. You wanted to know if you can break him. Would he fall for your tricks? Or would he know your game play? Tohma was always a few steps ahead of anyone. That always felt like he was mocking you. So, it was decided. When you want something. You go and get it. There you were playing a game of chess with him. You have tried asking him questions about him and his personal life. Yet, he would advert the question or smoothly changed the question towards you. So, you changed tactics and asked him the same questions but in a different form. He saw right through it. Now you have to change to pace of the conversation. What do you do? Pick a habit that he does without realizing. Everyone does something without being fully aware. This will be an ice breaker. 

Little by little, you want to break that ice. Your eyes skim over his body to see if you can pick up on any type of body languages. You see his smirk as he plays the game. By looking into his deep sharp blue eyes. That when you began to speak once more. “You know there’s a saying about eyes being the window to the soul?” He hummed, “Yes I’ve heard of that.” 

“I bet I can guess something about you just by looking into your eyes.” You smiled confidently. Ignoring the game, you stand up and strut towards him. He entertained you by letting you come stand by his side. You take off his monocle glasses off and placed it into his breast pocket. When you took your hand out. You left your hand on his chest. One hand on his chest and your other taking his face. Looking deeply into his eyes. You noticed a tired look in his eyes. “You are an intelligent man. Everyone knows that, but you are kind. I can tell you have a deep soul too. You are also extremely handsome, but you feel lonely. Am I right?” You smiled playfully, he laughs lightly and takes your hand into his. “Fluttery will get you nowhere I'm afraid.” 

You giggled and moved to sit on his lap. “I’m only speaking the truth~” It was a bold move, but he did nothing to move you. There was tension in the air. Nothing negative, but something. You played with his hair as his hands rest on your hips. “It must be so hard doing what you need to do. I can’t imagine half of it really.” You spoke quietly to him. Your eyes were gentle and filled with worry. Moving your hand from his hair. You placed it back on his chest. “You really are handsome though. I’ve always had a think for blondes and blue eyes.” He hummed again as you began to move your hands up from his shoulders to his forearms. He was tonally built; you looked back into his eyes and noticed a cloudy hazy look in his eyes. He was feeling strangely hot and bothered. You leaned close to his ear with your arms wrapped around his neck. “What’s the matter handsome? You are all quite all of the sudden.” 

He gulped as quietly as he could, but man. You had a grip on him. He was deeply attracted to you, but didn’t have time to play your little games. Here he was with his guard down. He knew he shouldn’t have let you sit on his lap. But he wanted to see if you were brave enough to make such a bold move. And you did it. You leaned in as if you were going to kiss him. He also leaned in. 

*Ding Ding* 

It was his phone; Jin is calling on him. You removed yourself off his lap and teasingly smiled at him as his answered the call. While you can hear Jin on the other line. You placed your lips to the ear that was left open. You whisper softly, “I had fun playing, maybe next time you’ll will handsome~” Rubbing your hand his shoulder blade gently. You began to walk out of the vault. Swaying your hips side to side as he watched. 

Even the king’s right-hand man falls too.

I'm so sorry this too super long to write. I do hope it is to your liking. Thank you for being patient with me. Please like, comment or reblog. It helps a lot. Love you all my sweet starlings

(Unedited)

[the-amazing-digital-guardians-au]

The Amazing Digital Circus: Guardian AU

My TADC AU is now up and running! I will be making a poster, character cards, general art, and possibly comics based around the storyline. Here’s the information!:

Description:

Caine is the ringmaster and ruler of The Amazing Digital Circus, but there are some things that even he can’t control. NPCs go rogue all the time, often acting out and trying to genuinely hurt the circus members as they go on adventures. Because of this, Caine has always appointed two circus members he deems the most worthy to protect him and others from danger. They have been different over the years (mainly due to abstractions), but currently Jax and Ragatha are his Guardians. The two of them are more privileged than the regular circus members: they are allowed to wield weapons, swear, indulge in vices, and the like as long as they do so in private, do their jobs well, and don’t disrupt the "family-friendly" atmosphere of the circus. Caine trusts them…or so he says. And to make matters worse, it looks like NPCs are forming an uprising to overthrow Caine, led by none other than a revived Gummigoo! Travel through the colorful world of TADC, but covered in a grimy layer of violence, corruption, and deception.

Who will the story focus on:

Caine

Abel

Pomni 

Jax

Ragatha

Kinger and Queenie

Princess Loo, Gummigoo, and other/more NPCs as the canon Digital Circus web series progresses

Genre:

Religious and psychological horror

Comedy

Action

Philosophical(?)

Content Warning - Anything produced for this AU may have any of the following elements:

Religious themes

Implied/referenced torture 

Blood (No gore, but this may change in the future)

Mental health issues 

War themes

Gambling

Alcohol and Drugs

Foul Language

This AU is recommended for ages 16+

…Wait, there’s more?!

FAQ:

Can I make fanart?

Yes, fanart is encouraged and always appreciated! Just make sure to credit me as the creator when needed. Do not use my creations if you are hateful/racist/sexist/anti-LGBTQ or just problematic in any other way. I don’t want what I make to be associated with these things. As for NSFW stuff…I would prefer if you didn’t. (Okay, well…now that I think about it, sure, go ahead, go crazy. But please don’t send it to me, I don’t really wanna see it. And tag it appropriately! Be mindful of others!) Ocs are allowed!! Ships (Canon x Canon, Canon x OC, OC x OC, whatever) are allowed! Tag me in anything as long as it’s SFW. Seriously, do whatever you want!

What are the religious themes?

Christianity. I am a Christian myself, but I also really enjoy religious horror and researching different religions. Does Pomni represent Jesus in this story? Not really. But, I will be using themes/images of Christianity (like angels, for example) to enhance the horror. I also like studying Japanese and Chinese mythological figures, purely out of interest. I will never try to push my beliefs onto the audience in any way. People can believe in whatever they want!

Are there any ships?

Bunnydoll (Jax x Ragatha) is the main ship. It is mostly implied/referenced and nothing overly romantic happens. The story focuses on their emotional bond since they are both Caine’s guardians. If you don’t like the ship, please don’t be rude to people who do. And if you do like the ship, don’t be rude to people who don’t! There’s enough hate on the internet already. Just be mindful that we all like different things, and have fun!

How will the story be told?

Through comics, probably. It’s easier for me to write things in a document (as a script) and then draw, so it will take time. I will also make art on the side that may or may not have canon information or events. It depends.

What inspired you?

The 70s (lots of yellow, orange and brown colors), Skinnamarink, religious horror, vintage Las Vegas, vintage snacks, and other random stuff. I have specific inspirations for different characters. But my inspiration to even start this project is definitely @/burrotello and The Amazing Digital Fight Club AU. It’s awesome!

Can I ask questions about characters, the story, etc?

Yes, but if it’s an answer I don’t want to reveal yet…well, we’ll see what happens. Sometimes, I will make drawings where a character reacts or responds!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

today I've been reminded of detective comics annual 8, which is my favorite of ed's comic appearances, so I thought I'd ask you what's your favorite riddle guy comic and why?

god DC annual #8 makes me INSANE that's like. pure distilled Riddler sauce right there. absolute platonic ideal of the Riddler. he is perfect to me. somebody surgically wire that into Tom King's brain before they ever let him write the Riddler again I swear to god.

I'm still working on my New Earth read through so I'm finding new faves all the time, but as of this exact minute some faves:

I fucking hate to hand it to Chuck Dixon but Detective Comics #705-707 (Dixon, Graham Nolan, and David Roach, 1997) is so so good. like he's literally just trying to do a stupid baseball heist and blow up Cluemaster while he's at it. THAT is a Riddler story, babey. Echo and Query are even there!!!

Impulse #48 (Bill Messner-Loebs and Craig Rousseau, 1999) is just a spectacular one off Riddler appearance, namely because you get the strong impression that if left alone with Bart for like. two hours. Eddie would probably willingly kill himself. very fun watching his schtick absolutely crumble in the face of a speedster.

Batman Adventures Vol. 2 (worked on by like half a dozen different writers, 2003). honestly the BTAS version of the Riddler was never anything spectacular to me - he's fun, not a standout - but goddd he rules so hard in the sequel comics. he's (once again) retired and made legitimate money, so now he's so desperately bored he's harassing Batman with stupid non-crimes until Batman snaps and just starts using him as a private detective so he'll have something to do. mwah.

Batman Confidential #26-28 (Nunzio DeFilippis, Christina Weir, Kevin Nowlan, and José Luis García-López, 2009), which is collected as Batman: King Tut's Tomb. another banger story, it has everything I like. namely, the Riddler being so annoying that Batman lets him work a case with him and bitchy buddy comedy shenanigans ensue. and King Tut is there!

Dinner for Two (Ram V and Phil Hester) in Strange Love Adventures (2022) #1 is so... like they just went for it. they said fuck it the Riddler bisexual and spending his Valentine's Day making Batman hang out with him to complain about how he's lonely. make of that whatever you want.

Catwoman: Lonely City (Cliff Chiang, 2022). an older, widowed Riddleguy who's kicked his riddle habit (in addition to, apparently, a pretty brutal coke problem) and is settled in to running slightly more normal grifts with his adorable daughter Edelia. look at them. I have to show you this because I just like Chiang's art so so much, look at themmm

also obligatory shoutout to the Riddler appearance of all time, whichever issue of Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive is the one where he's crashing at Stephanie Brown's house being a fucking menace and Black Canary kicks him out on his ass in five seconds flat while he's wearing a fluffy yellow bathrobe. and also kicks Cluemaster out of his own house for good measure.

[featguler]

a walking contradiction ────── here's to hoping he's worth all your time.

♡ ────── pairing : vinícius júnior x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader is female, and her faceclaim is established. reader is a barca fan and an actress! sungchan from nct mentioned once LMFAO. reader lives in spain!! also google translated spanish I DONT CARE!! i might categorize this as... comedy... also people ship yn x pedri here. not proofread ♡ ────── notes: based on a request sent to me on my private messages!! tweaked it a little tho hehehe. title and description is based on let it happen by gracie abrams. trying out some new format for the instagram comments... let me know what yall think abt it... this was really fun and it was pretty funny to make LOL ♡ masterlist.

FACECLAIM 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ adzwa aurel ( instagram )

DISCLAIMER 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ 𐙚 i am not affiliated with adzwa aurel, vini jr, or anyone mentioned in this fic. 𐙚 any similarities in name, time, and place is purely coincidental. 𐙚 do not mind the time stamps. 𐙚 click on the pictures if it seems blurry!

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username is that korea ❤️ by author

username omg @.ynusername say hi to sungchan for me

pedri hermosa! 💙 ( gorgeous )

ynusername 💙!!

username i think she's shooting for another film

username nah, i think it's her netflix series → username ORRRRRRRR the a24 horror movie w jenna ortega or whoever username yall she's allowed to go on holiday...

netflixfilm we are READY! 💙 ❤️ by author

ynusername ready for what? 🤣 xo username WAIT NEW FILM OR WHAT username hold awn,,,

vinijr 😍💘 ❤️ by author

username come back home king real madrid needs you username 6th post this month that he commented on stay tune folks username ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE → username @.username he's been here for MONTHS username i'm crying she's really doing the bare minimum with liking his comments judebellingham 🤣🤣🤣 ❤️ by author → username THAT IS YOUR BROTHER → username now don't do him like that....

ynusername

liked by vinijr, pablogavi, and others

ynusername back in town for some new nails etc etc 💙 view all comments

ynusername going to back in my element (barca game) soon 💙❤️ !!

username we missed you queen pedri los partidos no han sido los mismos sin ti hermana 💙🙌 ( the games have not been the same without you sister ) ❤️ by author → ynusername te he extrañado mucho.. 🫶🏻 ( i've missed you so much ) jkeey4 see you 💙❤️ ❤️ by author → ynusername à bientôt 🫶🏻 ( see you soon ) → jkeey4 très bien!! ( very good ) ❤️ by author → ynusername j'étudie beaucoup 💙😇 ( i study a lot ) → jkeey4 💙❤️ ❤️ by author

yourfriend are we meeting up? xo ❤️ by author

ynusername obviamente! 💙 ( obviously )

username SHE'S PAINTED HER NAILS that means she's not acting

username what → username yknow like when she's shooting a movie or sth she wont have her nails done → username ohh thanks username she's got a tv show and a film coming out THIS summer she doesn't have to be fully booked → username girl this isn't a hate comment

vinijr 🥵 ❤️ by author

username HE'S LOST HIS MIND username HELLO????? @.mrancelotti GET HIM OUTTA HERE camavinga 🤣 ❤️ by author → username NOT YOU JUMPING IN TOO → judebellingham i'm telling you mate 🤣 ❤️ by author → username JUDE BELLINGHAM??!?!?!?!?!? username GIRL ARE YOU KIDDING username VINICIUS JUNIOR COME HOME THIS INSTANT username in the post with the i love barcelona shirt... username against your own people... vinicius... username @.mrancelotti GET HIM HOME

username ohhh vini is impossible to save....

username camavinga AND bellingham... oh jesus the bernabeau locker room talk will be interesting

ynusername just added to their story!

ynsource

liked by vinijr, no1_ynfan, and others

ynsource Y/N was seen out for dinner with a Brazilian football player last night! ⚽👀 Any guesses as to who it might be? view all comments

ynsource culers... what do we think

username it was rare i was there i remembered it all too well (y/n dancing with pedri and him spinning her around) ❤️ by author username she really meant it when she calls them her brothers ❤️ by author username culers what do we think @.pedri

username SHE WAS NOT

username DELETE THIS POST → ynsource we are a y/n update account we can't just delete parts of her life 😭😭😭😭 username girl

username you spelled "Spanish" wrong ❤️ by author

username ronaldinho

username this is the craziest guess anyone could ever come up with → username better than vinicius jr

username vini liking this post... that man has NO pr training

username london i know how you feel i lost my queen too ❤️ by author

username is it jude bellingham?????? ❤️ by author

username is bellingham the only footballer yall know??? username bro he ain't even brazilian

username idc who she dates i KNOW she won't ever come to any of madrid's game

username like that's OUR girl not yours @.realmadrid → username WHY DID YOU TAG THEM username if they make her choose between vinicius or barca she would be in the right side of history i trust her → username yall are so dramatic it's crazy

username PLEASE LINK ARDA AND LAMINE UP PLS Y/N I BEG @.ynusername

username why is vini jr on this post's likes ❤️ by author

username if y/n is there vini is there username he followed this acc like 3 weeks ago ❤️ by author → username that's crazy why is he so obsessed → username LET HIM BE

judebellingham 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮 ❤️ by author

username IF YOU DON'T SHUT YOUR MOUTH username jude's up in vini's business more than vini himself is 😭😭😭😭 username im crying he's so annoying ynsource if you need any dm's to spill y/n tea, ours are always open for you mister bellingham 🥰 → username you're crazy username youre gonna let yourself get disrespected like this?? @.vinijr username @.mrancelotti get your kids off of our playground omfg

username i really don't wanna be memorizing a footballer's name and his friends for y/n

username was he the one who sent y/n all those gifts the other day?

ynsource we're thinking so! username wasn't that pedri → username no that wasn't → username where's your source??? → username where's YOUR source

[itsjustmylifeconfessions]

Whenever I doubt myself I remember that there are people with 0 brain cells that are writing the biggest show in the world.

Blood and cheese was terribly done. Absolutely awful writing, especially adding Alicent and Cole at the end, that was ridiculous. To make Daemon want Aemond instead of actually having him order the killing of a boy? I hate how scared they are to make team black bad people. They are all bad people, from both teams. Daemon ordered the murder of a child but these idiots don't want to make team black the bad guys, ever, so let's write him not ordering this and make it another misunderstanding, why not?

Ridiculous.

It's not just about b&c, but their refusal of making team black grey characters, from the start, is so stupid. They can't be villains, they are the heroes, good people suffering an injustice, and we can't have our heroes doing a terrible thing like this!

That is the mentality of a middle school writer working on a kid's play. If you can only write black and white characters you shouldn't be writing for asoiaf.

The interesting part of the story is that they are all doing bad things, that's why fans like the book so much, cause it's fucking interesting to see them all doing bad shit.

I'm not upset cause I'm team green, I just hate bad writing so much...

Yes I'm aware that Daemon smirked when the guy asked what to do if they can't find Aemond, probably telling them to get one of the kids instead (but not showing us this of course cause we can't have even more proof that this man is a piece of shit), but that is not the same as him actually ordering the murder of a little boy with his own words as the first choice.

They turned one of the most gruesome and horrible moments in the story into a 3 min point and run moment, with a laughable 'catching your mom having sex is weird right?' ending. This takes away all the pain we are supposed to be feeling in that moment. This takes so much from Helaena as well, what the book describes is so fucking sad and gives her character so much more depth.

I also wish they had given more for Phia to work with, she was incredible but that was a pivotal moment for her character and she deserved to be given more in that scene. And don't tell me they didn't do it like the book because it would be traumatic for the kids because yes it is possible to shoot that with and without the kids, you just have to be specific about the framing and shots you use, it's all about camera work.

Do I understand Helaena dissociation in that moment? Absolutely. Did I want to see a little boy getting his head cut off? Absolutely not, no one did, we are not psychopaths. But it does piss me off that they wrote such a pivotal scene in such a bad way, that was supposed to be red wedding levels of shock and pain, and the most shocking thing was Alicent on top of Criston (good for her tbh she deserves to have fun).

They have been terrible writers from the start, for both teams (Rhaenys in the coronation is pure comedy to me), but this to me is painful how bad it was. The only good thing about that scene is Phia's acting.

Anyway that's just how I feel about it. I have so many thoughts about this but I don't think I'll write more, so I'll just say this:

Don't give up on your dreams guys. Anyone can do it. Anyone.

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

I find Trevor from shameless the most frustrating characther.

When he first introduced, I really liked him, the way he could really help Ian explore life outside of his southside world and more of the LGBT world was interesting. And I love the actor who plays him, but his character just did not work, and I know why. It was bad writing. (Also, I have to admit I didn't feel the chemistry between the actors, even if they were both playing their roles well.)

Now, first off, I think that Shameless really dropped the ball in writing new characters after season 5 or 6. Especially love interests. In the early seasons, all the Gallagher's interests were people outside of their relationship with a Gallagher. Love or hate them. I could tell you plenty about them, and they interacted and had storylines outside of their love interest.

I mean, think of Karen, Jimmy, Mandy, Shelia, Mickey and even Svetlana.l. They were all interesting outside of just being a love interest, and they all had personality and backgrounds. I really think Shameless lost that in their later seasons writing.

See Kelly, Trevor, Tammi, Caleb, Ford and Cassidy for example. It felt like they purely existed to only further thier LIs storyline. Even the writing of Mickey, when he returned as a main character, wasn't as in-depth as it was in either early seasons.l and just seemed to be more to drive storyline and comedy than in-charachter for him

So, back to Trevor. I wanted to like him, and I did for his first few episodes, but his writing frustrates me so complelty. I think as a person who also works in social services, his actions and contradictions make no sense. So in the episode that Mickey comes back when Ian goes to see him, he is really busy because his trying to place a kid. And when he thinks if he can't, he says he may have to just let them crash on his couch. Which pinged me as completely inappropriate as a social services worker as you can never have a child just say on your couch like that as you are crossing so many professional boundaries and as he rightfullylayer says can give the wrond ide. But in S8, when Ian has that girl stay over, he (rightfully) tells Ian that is completely inappropriate and then gets really mad at him for it, which just made him annoyingly hypocritical.

He is apparently working with at risk youth and abused kids, yet he tells Ian that Monica is trying and to give her another chance as Ian is being unfair to her, that he is being to hard in her. Crazy. I could not think of a single person in this job who would have that attitude towards neglectful or problematic parents. Because anyone in this job would know setting boundaries is healthy and that anyones trauma is thiers to feel how they feel about. Same with the way he treats Ian's grief after losing Monica. When he takes him to the place with the chubby guys, they lost me completely.

Then we have the idea that Ian was clearly sprialing later in S8 and going off his meds, but Trevor seems unaware even though anyone could see it let alone someone with any kind of training.

His writing is just so bad and seems literally to be only to serve Ian's storyline and screw his character development outside of that. Especially in S8. Then he doesn't even appear at Ian's court preceding and just disappears

I think he could have been good for Ian. And I think with the lack of chemistry I felt between them maybe they should have just been friends after the whole cheating thing. And maybe it's the fact that Cameron's chemistry is off the charts with Noel that made it really feel like he had none with Caleb or Trevor but that doesn't make up for bad writing. I get that writing a new post-Mickey love interest is hard after how much fans love him, but the writers can only blame themselves for that too as the never wrote a good ending storyline for a loved charcther they though was leaving for good at end of S5.

Shameless really lost a lot for me when they stopped writing their supporting character as interesting people outside of their relationship.

Trevor is my example charcther of that. That actor deserved better.

[lilac-5ky]

The Party (Satoru x Fem!Reader)

Plot: You decide to surprise your boyfriend on his birthday

Tags: Birthday fluff, Comedy, Hurt/Comfort, Slight Angst, Shibuya incident?What Shibuya incident? (year is 2018), Established Relationship, Gojo Senpai, Satoru being the adorable menace everyone loves, SO. MANY. CHARACTERS. MAKING. APPEARANCES, feels like an actual jjk ep at this point, (fic deteriorates a bit over the latter part as my mental health does, writing until 6 am is exhausting, i know im late but spare me)

Word Count: Slightly under 9k.

A/N: Happy late Birthday, my love 💙💙💙

Masterlist | Requests | AO3

“Are we there yet?”

“Almost there—watch your step!” You warn, only to lose your footing a second later as you smash head first into your boyfriend’s back.

There is no way Satoru doesn’t know where the two of you are headed. Even with his technique supposedly turned off and your shaky hands concealing his curious eyes, all the things that make Jujutsu Tech into the place that raised generations of sorcerers (yours, included) continue to exist, bearing witness to his intentionally dumb guesses.

“Is it the beach? Are you taking me to see the ocean?” Satoru excites. “Aw, baby! You should have told me so; I would have brought my swimming trunks with! Although, I hafta say swimming in December is probably a bad idea, my nipples will freeze and fall right off. You wouldn’t want that, right?”

A sigh evades your lips, expelled as a little white cloud of frustration. On second thought, his mouth was what needed to be covered. Preferably stitched.

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we aren’t going to the beach”—aw, shoot—“and your nipples get to live another day.” Your teeth chatter. Tiptoeing behind him with upstretched arms is already hard on its own. Doing so in the cold is purely exhausting.

You lose count of how many torii gates you cross, the joint click of your shoes switching to an uncoordinated thump as you go from traversing cobblestone paths to climbing an endless uphill of stairs, your stroll, again, feeling like part of a survival show. Curse Master Tengen. They might have only been responsible for the barriers, though in your scare, that doesn’t stop you from holding them accountable.

We are going to die.

Or more like you are going to die, considering Satoru’s already secured himself a life net in the form of your poor broken-to-be bones, and that’s the best case scenario you can hope for, the worst being having to repeat your ascension from the bottom step up.

“Then, are we visiting Himeji Castle?” Satoru continues, the frigid temperature not enough to crack his spirit. “Because I know the single best place for Tama Tsubaki. So fragrant, so elegant, so deliciously sweet! You haven’t been to Himeji before, have you? It’s also known for its excellent leather craftsmanship. Last time I went there, they had these insanely pretty wallets with—”

“N-no!” You yelp, voice as strained as if you’re walking on a tightrope. Shivering, “Wouldn’t you have noticed if I took you on a 4-hour road trip?”

“But time always moves so fast when I’m with you.” He coos in response, his tone serious when he asks, “Wanna take a break? Promise to keep my eyes closed till we reach the top. And after that too, if you want.”

Silky lashes map out the inside of your palms as they flutter against them, sweet little butterfly kisses that convince you to withdraw your hands. After all, you’d hate for his birthday to be stained with blood.

Not yours, at least.

“If you dare open them, I’ll kill you.”

“How scary!” Satoru captures your frozen hand and slips it in his coat’s pocket with far too great precision for someone with impaired vision. You don’t complain. Not even when he makes you bump into every single step on your way up, giggling to himself, until, as promised, you reach the summit and he lets go for you to assume your previous positions.

“I don’t”—pant—“miss”—pant—“walking this w-walk.” You muster in between labored breaths, palms on your knees as you crouch forward like an elderly lady with chronic back pain. “Wh-what are you smiling for?”

“Nooooooothing!” Satoru chirps, soft dimples carving hard into his milky complexion. “Just takes me back to the time when you still called me Gojo Senpai is all.”

Your youth comes playing in your head like an old cassette forced to rewind, bittersweet recollections sending you on a sudden trip down memory lane.

You met Satoru at the peak of spring and fell in love with him over the course of fall—a swirl of autumn leaves coloring the currently naked maple trees red. Muddy soles and uniforms soggy from the rain. Chasing after an umbrella you agreed to share and hopscotching across shallow puddles. Laughing louder than the pending storm.

But before that, bickering. So much bickering that continuously tested the patience of those around you, arguments over video games escorting you to morning assembly, and plans to catch new movie releases sealing your goodbyes.

The bitterness of Shoko’s cigarettes and the promise to never smoke again. Arcades and electronics in Akihabara. Karaoke and conveyor belt sushi in Shibuya. Getting a stranger to buy you your first beer and puking your guts outside a convenience store in Shinjuku. The promise to never drink again.

Moon-viewing festival. The unforgettable sight of him in a yukata, your heart multiplying itself into your eyes. Stolen glances and not-so-accidental nudges. Your first kiss tasting of melon soda, your second burning faster than the wick of his sparkler. Another kind of promise.

The giddiness of first love filters the film pink. Five-minute dates behind the old gym in flash forward. Late-night expeditions to each other’s dorms. Your loss of innocence overshadowed by the sudden loss of Haibara. Tears that threaten to spill out of the sequence. Suguru’s betrayal. The strength to move forward.

You’ve come a long way since the days you cheekily called him Gojo Senpai without a care in the world, and even though tragedy managed to forever sully them, standing here with him now makes it worth the pain. Given the chance, you’d do it all over again.

Rolling the cricks around your neck and shoulders, you walk up to Satoru, a tug at the lowest hanging tuft of hair signaling for him to meet your height. Knees bent. Eyes still closed. Lips still curled. Features so undeniably beautiful at 29 as they were at 17.

“Don’t move.” You mumble, smiling softly as you watch him pucker his lips in anticipation of a kiss. Instead, you fish out a pair of rectangular shades from inside your pocket and place them over the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s go before we get scolded for being late again.” Your hand steals his this time around, ushering him forward. A speckle of heat shooting from your fingers to your cheeks. “I trust you not to spoil your own surprise, Gojo Senpai.”

You are less than thirty steps away from your destination when, without a warning, the man behind you stops moving, forcing you to halt with him.

“What is it?” You ask, your body reeled closer to his from the bind of your fingers. “If you’re gonna ask whether I’m taking you to Laputa, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m still figuring out the coordinates.”

“That’s not it.” He huffs a chuckle against your knuckles, tenderly brushing them against his cheek. “But drop a pin when you do. Always wanted to take a nap in that fluffy flower bed. I’m sure it tastes fluffy too, just like whipped cream.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” You return, a yawn coaxed at the mention of napping. “So, what is it? Why did we stop?”

“I’m cold.”

“Well, so am I, but we really are close this time. If you just—”

“You should kiss me.” Satoru announces with solemnity better befitting a declaration of war. He realizes that himself, bringing his free hand to ruffle the hair on the back of his skull. Awkwardly. Ears tinged red. Cutely. “That would warm me up.”

“Is that your excuse?” You ask, chapped lips rubbing together. Your heartbeat felt in your throat. You shouldn’t be feeling like this. Not when you’ve known each other for the better part of your lives. It’s not normal. You don’t think you are.

“Nope.” He balances things out with a boyish smile that doesn’t make things any better for the lovesick teenage girl residing in your heart. She doesn’t know any better but to fawn over it. “My excuse is that we haven’t kissed here before. We’ve kissed there,” you follow his pointer, first to a bench made of stone and then to a blind spot behind some shrubs, “and there—many times there, heh, but not here. So we should kiss.” He reasons with a simplistic, nearly childish mindset. One you can’t quite argue against.

Until his spell breaks on you rather unceremoniously.

“I thought your eyes were closed!”

“Well, they were, but then I—hah, stop pullin’ like that—started missing your pretty face too much. Can’t deny me the simple joys in life, sweet cheeks.” He grins. “C’mon, just one kiss. Then we can meet with Yuji and the others. Promise I’ll act extra surprised!”

“Y-you knew?” Your eyes widen.

“I’ve known for about a week now? Heard you two talking on the phone, plus the kids asked to be put on cleaning duty when they usually leave everything to Megumi. Then a ton of chairs started to go missing, and—”

You barely bother listening to the rest, too caught up in your thoughts for Satoru’s detailed explanation of where it all went wrong to matter. Every year without exception—from your 16th birthday party-for-two in that tiny storage room you were accidentally locked in together to last year’s all-out murder mystery dinner party—he’s managed to sweep you off your feet, and yet you can’t throw him one party without it being spoiled.

You aren’t a planner. You know that. You know, but somehow you hoped this year would be different. That, twelve years after his insistence to spend his birthday in your company alone took root, (“Why would I want to spend this day with anyone other than you, angel? We have tons of fun together, don’t we? Just me and my special girl. Speaking of, any special requests for your birthday? I have some ideas myself, hehe~”) and one year after he stopped waiting for an apparition to show up and celebrate with him, he’d allow himself to bask in the appreciation of the living.

“Are you mad?”

The buzz of his voice quiets down, the paleness of a winter morning dawning beneath snowy lashes as he peers at you from above the rim of his sunglasses. Snowflakes of wonder stirring in his irises that contain them like two perfect snow globes, trapped in them, an ageless moment of the past.

“I’m relieved.” Satoru whispers, so faintly you almost miss it.

“Re…lieved?”

“You brought everyone here, right?” You nod. “Without blackmailing anyone?”

“Just Nanami.” You admit. “And Ijichi—Shoko promised to take him out for drinks if he came.”

“That’s good.” His lips pull into a smile warm enough to thaw your worries. “Honestly, I’m not the biggest fan of my own birthday.”

“I’ve noticed,” you interrupt. “You aren’t the only one perceptive here, Mister Six-Eyes.”

He gives you a funny look, creases forming over his brow as an imaginary zipper is drawn across the corners of his lips.

You unzip it. “Please continue, Great Gojo Senpai.”

His eyes light up. Satoru isn’t one for honorifics, yet hearing you address him as such makes the lovesick teenage boy in his heart shudder with excitement.

“You know what birthday I got the biggest haul for?” A shake of your head prompts him to continue. “Seventh.” Figures, you add. He nods. “Wanna know what they got me? A Hokusai painting. You know. One of those wavy ones.” Only he would ever refer to a Japanese classic that way. “But seven-year-old kids don’t care about dead people’s paintings or Shinto shrine visits. They want adventure, balloons, and luscious Gâteau au Chocolat. The new Street Fighter game, maybe.” His fingers snap together. “They want Laputa.”

You forget your hand is still in his until it’s given a light squeeze, Satoru nervously fiddling with your fingers while he mulls over what to say next.

“Bottom line is, birthdays with the clan suuuuuucked. And then, as I got older, I grew tall enough to outrun those stupid goons watching over me. So I’d run straight to Suguru’s house, drag him to the station, and from there, we’d go to that one pastry shop in Shinjuku and buy every cake on display. We’d eat till we both got sick—hah, you wouldn’t think his stomach was this sensitive with all those curses he gobbled up, right?—and then a few years later we met Shoko, and she’d put out her cigarette on my share.” He hisses like a distressed cat. “Then we met you”—another squeeze—“and those were the best birthdays of my life. Back when we were all together.”

“Satoru—”

“I didn’t think I could have that again.” He cuts you off. “But you said you got everyone together, and while some of us are no longer here, a lot are. This is good. You did well. I’m relieved, really. I’m happy.”

By the time Satoru finishes talking, you find yourself at a loss for words, blankly staring at his unaffected expression. It’s easy to forget how vulnerable he can be in those rare outbursts of sincerity; easy to forget that the one branded as the strongest is a person who cries and breaks too, and even easier to let yourself be deceived by that happy-go-lucky attitude. But as a smile begins to take shape upon your features, you can see where he’s coming from.

You are relieved.

“What are you smiling for?” Satoru asks in the same manner you did earlier.

“Nooooooothing!” You shamelessly steal his line. “Just thinking about the sorry look on your face when you realize there’s no chocolate cake.”

“You evil witch!” He proclaims, mouth hanging slack and forefinger pointing in accusation. “Next you’re gonna tell me you didn’t buy candles either!”

“Actually…”

You take hold of his finger before he can protest any further. Not that he wants to when both his hands are enveloped in the warmth of your smaller ones, childishly swinging by your sides. Back and forth. Up and down. Round and round. Arms overlapping as you both step closer, chuckling at a joke only your eyes seem to know.

“About that kiss.” You begin, laughing again at the small, exasperated mhm your boyfriend lets out, his Adam’s apple bobbing under the high neck of his sweater. “Are you still feeling cold?”

“So cold.” Satoru wiggles his shoulders as if he’s truly shivering. “Warm me up before the cold hand of death takes me away. Pleaseeeee.”

You aren’t one to deny him. Tiptoeing forward, you crane your neck so you can reach higher, while he bends his knees to shorten himself, meeting you halfway. Heavy breaths are shared as your noses brush together. The subtle notes of bergamot on his clothes blending with the wintry crisp in the atmosphere. Eagerness tugging at his bottom lip.

You might not be one to deny him, but you definitely are the type to tease him.

“Why don’t you do it? Why should I be the one to kiss you?”

“Wha—because I asked you!” Satoru quips.

“And?”

“And I have Senpai rights. Plus you didn’t pay boyfriend tax this morning, and come think of it, you didn’t wish me a Happy Birthday either!” He gasps like he only realized that just now. He builds his entire case around it. “Birthday Boy demands it. You have no choice but to give in or you’ll be cursed for your next seven birthdays!”

“But I thought you didn’t like your own birthday.”

“Baby!” Satoru finally breaks, his voice reduced to a high-pitched whine. “Even so, you can’t be mean to me on my own birthd—”

His lips are warmer than yours when you nullify the distance, conveying the softness and fruitiness of your stolen chapstick. A smirk is written on them, bitten away as you drag his hands closer to your body, foreheads bumping together and sunglasses nearly slipping from his nose. He giggles into your mouth, whispering how hot he finds it when you take the lead—moaning at the way your tongue presses against his, and disregarding the three sets of footsteps that enter the scene.

“Sensei!” A somewhat recognizable, albeit squeaky, voice calls out. “We’ve been waiting for you!”

“Way to ruin the surprise, Itadori!” Another, angrier, squeaky voice scolds.

“Idiot, you just said there was a surprise. And I told you both to go easy on the hellion.” The last of their group tries to deadpan, somehow sounding more ridiculous than his peers.

“Pft—F-Fushiguro!” Nobara and Yuji laugh in sync, too preoccupied with poking fun at their classmate to notice your form erasing itself from existence behind Satoru’s back as he turns around to face them.

“Yuji! Nobara! Megumiiiii!” His tone is colored with a falsetto when he addresses his favorite (target) student, prompting the duo to keep harassing him with countless pokes at his confetti-laced spikes.

Your plan to use poor Megumi’s torture as a decoy to flee the premises goes to waste as your hand is held out in the open, with Satoru showing you off to them like the big prize at the end of a wrestling match.

“Oh, future Mrs. Gojo Sensei!” Yuji is the first to acknowledge your presence; the effects of the gas are all but worn off as he timidly waves at you. “I didn’t know you were here! What brings you to school today?”

“That’s quite the title, Yuji. Told you to just—ugh!—call me by my first name.” You struggle to pull your wrist out of Satoru’s grasp. You lose. “Also, no need to keep playing charades. He knows.”

“You told him? Then what was all of this for?” Nobara comes forth, a pink balloon dramatically deflating in her hands.

“Actually, I figured it out myself! Aren’t you proud to have such a smart teach—”

“No!” Two out of three shout in unison. You almost do so yourself.

After their back and forth escalates into a full-blown debate on who’s more intelligent, Satoru or Megumi’s shikigami (the results to be announced on a future episode of Are You Smarter than a Toad?) and happy birthdays are wished, Yuji asks the one question you feared answering the most.

“Sensei? Miss Y/N? What were you doing out there in the cold?”

Their own curiosity beats Megumi and Nobara to the classroom as they stall their entrance, with Satoru being the first to hit the buzzer.

“You see, Yuji, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they—ahahouch! Love really does hurt! It hurts so badly!” He yelps as you stomp on his foot hard enough to cripple an average man.

“Don’t you dare use me as a test subject for the talk, Satoru!”

“What talk, darlin’?” He smiles coyly, not losing the chance to brag. “Oh, you mean the talk about how you fell victim to my charms and couldn’t wait till we were alone to kiss me? Guess I still got it, despite the extra candle on the cake.”

“Aww!”

“Eww!”

“Gross!”

The reactions vary.

“You’ll get another candle lit up in your memory if you keep spewing shit like this!” Your attempt to step on his shoe is countered by his technique.

“Hey, no cursing in front of my precious students!” Satoru chides. “We’re supposed to set an example for them, not taint their innocent souls!”

“Satoru!” With a tremendous roar, the door flies open, startling the three students to jump behind their teacher and you to follow suit.

Principle Yaga stands by the frame, his authoritative tone coursing through your body as it recalls every punishment he ever subjected you to. The soreness in your calves from running laps around school for being late. The dryness in your eyes after surviving one of his excruciating educational VHS tape sessions for being “cheeky” and the ache in your fingers from scrubbing the gym floors squeaky clean—courtesy of being caught sneaking back into the dorm with tousled hair in the dead of night.

You almost feel sorry for Satoru acting as the wavebreaker for the incoming tsunami, but then you remember how the majority of your crimes were incidentally committed in his name and wish him good luck. He deserves whatever earful he gets, possibly something along the lines of “Sixteen minutes late? Are you trying to break a world record?”

“You think Gojo Sensei will die?” Yuji whispers. “He’s at that age when a lot of celebrities die, right?”

“He’d better not! I didn’t bring any funeral wear with me.” Nobara answers back.

“Can’t you read the room?” Megumi rasps. “Plus, that’s the 27 Club you’re talking about. Gojo Sensei has outlived that.”

“Didn’t take you for a clubgoer, Fushiguro.” The two of them snicker, prompting Megumi to sigh as he again points out their idiocy.

“Principal Yaga!” Satoru bravely puts himself forward, your line of defense falling apart like a house of cards you’re made to support on your own. “Are you here to wish me a happy birthday? How thoughtful! Guess it’s true what they say: People mellow down with age.”

“Sixteen minutes late—”

The man’s mouth twitches furiously as an invisible countdown starts in all your heads, none of you expecting the situation to simmer down before it boils over.

“But I’ll let it slide this once. Happy birthday, Satoru. I’ve stopped hoping that the years bring you wisdom and fix your bad habits. It’s pointless; every year you turn more impudent than the year before,”—is that supposed to be a birthday wish or you getting kicks from throwing shade at me?—“but I wish they bring you happiness. I made this with you in mind. Hope it’s to your liking.”

You watch as Principal Yaga reveals a felt doll from behind his back, handing it to a repulsed Satoru, who makes no effort to conceal his personal feelings, let alone express gratitude.

“Huh? What’s that supposed to be?” He asks, shaking the doll so quickly you only catch a glimpse of its fluffy white tail and stitched black sunglasses—a cat?

“It’s you.” Its maker replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “And he has a name. Satoru, say hello to Catoru.”

Four of you share a look among yourselves, too stunned to say a thing until Satoru and his doll counterpart face you, the latter being held up by the scruff of his neck. Just like an actual cat.

“Do I look like this?” Satoru asks, and you all go quiet, with three hands simultaneously nudging you to represent them. Traitors!

“I mean, there are times when you do act like a cat—kinda?” Your voice is pinched up, hands moving frantically to dispute your words as your boyfriend’s face turns sourer than umeboshi. “But you look ten times—no, a hundred times more handsome! I promise! If anything, you resemble a—uh, Turkish Angora? Those are super beautiful!”

“You’d better get along.” Yaga warns. “I designed Catoru with a sweet tooth like you.”

“I don’t want a little mochi thief in my house!”

Yaga marches back into class without waiting to hear Satoru’s concerns about the impending depletion of his secret mochi stash. The kids tail after him, leaving you to comfort Satoru with a gentle pat on his back. “Let’s go inside, mm?”

The atmosphere inside the classroom is significantly more promising than what Yuji showed you on FaceTime this morning. All desks are pulled to the side in a rough T formation, with the spread of food you spent two nights making carefully put in order, from platters full of golden-crusted corn dogs and crispy chicken fingers to dainty cupcakes decorated with Konpeito candy and colorful mochi of every filling you could think of. Inumaki serves bar, and you’re pleased to see people returning for seconds, with Yuji waving his hands while praising your popping candy cake poppers to his taciturn upperclassman.

Balloons hang near the ceiling—a flag garland dangling from one end of the blackboard to the other. A gigantic birthday message spans across the surface, with smaller wishes sprinkled in abundance, some consisting of mere congratulations and others expressed with heartfelt emotion. You can easily guess who wrote what based on handwriting alone; Megumi’s by far the tidiest.

You knew leaving the decorations to Nobara was a smart choice. She knows it too. She doesn’t waste the chance to boast to Maki about it, the older girl twirling a bouquet made of lollipops between her fingers while gazing at the drifting clouds outside the window.

Satoru was right. This is good. You have every reason to be proud, too.

In the far back of the room, the adults have struck up a conversation with Panda, who snaps a picture of your entrance. The two party poopers—Ijichi and Nanami—look up from their quiet exchange.

“Satoru! You came!” Principal Yaga’s pride and joy steps forward with open arms, a party hat pulled taut between his round ears. “Congratulations on your birthday,” says Panda, planting two identical party hats on your heads. “Let me take a picture of the two of you. Couldn’t get an angle from back there.”

Your shoulders get squeezed as Satoru smooshes your faces together, the pointy tip of his hat nearly taking your eye out when he tries to steal a kiss from your cheek. You squint—and snap!

“Hey, can you take another? I think I wasn’t looking straight.”

“No do-overs!” Satoru interferes before Panda can even open his mouth. “Don’t worry! Getting a bad picture of you is impossible when you look perfect at any given time. Right, Panda?”

His former student glances down at the camera, letting out the exact same sound your computer makes when a Windows program crashes, and then rushing to mask it with a hearty chortle.

“Of course, Satoru! You got very lucky; Y/N is as beautiful as she is kind-hearted.” He shows you a grin that’s mostly teeth. “You know, she worked really hard for this party. We barely did anything ourselves.”

Not true; you all did your part…

Your eye is endangered once more, with his lips finding their target this time around. “That’s my vanilla caramel drizzle cupcake muffin baumkuchen pie to ya!”

That’s half your macchiato and half your bakery order, you argue silently.

“Shame Yuta couldn’t make it.” Panda continues. “Heard he’s down with a cold, though he did send you his gift via Maki.” A fuzzy thumb points at the closet-turned-gift-depository, where various bags and packages are stacked into a pyramid. “Anyway. I’ll let the two of you mingle. Come over if ya want more pictures of you taken. Got lots of props too.”

Your eyes follow as he returns to his post, spotting Shoko experimenting with a pair of groucho glasses. Nanami shakes his head disapprovingly, leaning back into his chair while Ijichi’s stutter is visible from where you and Satoru stand.

You glance up at him, a default smile plastered on his lips. Unreadable to others, but painfully obvious to you. The face he’s searching for is not among those present.

“Everyone seems to be having fun.” Satoru points out.

“Y-yeah.” You croak.

“Can’t believe you got everything down. Class looks like it did back then. Even the wobbly pom-pom on the party hats.” He squeezes the one on your head. “That caught me off guard.”

“Well, it would’ve been a greater surprise if you didn’t eavesdrop on my private phone calls.”

“That ain’t on me, sweets.” He whisks your hand into his and drags you onward. “Not my fault I was born with heightened senses. Better get used to it; our kids will probably take after me in that aspect.”

You shrug his comment off, watching as Satoru stows the cat away in the closet and dramatically dusts his hands off. “Another great addition to the world’s creepiest collection.” He grumbles.

“But Catoru is the cutest so far!” You object.

He is about to answer when a sound akin to that of someone choking has you both turning toward the makeshift buffet where Ijichi is downing water straight from the jug, his sunken cheeks a scarlet shade of red.

“Shit! He must’ve discovered the jalapeno poppers.” You bite your lips into a straight line, feeling somewhat responsible.

“Nice job!”

“It wasn’t my intention!”

Your plea of innocence doesn’t resonate with Satoru, who gives you a thumbs up before forming a cone around his mouth and shouting at Ijichi—chuckling at the hurried way the man searches for an escape between chairs and people.

“Ijichi! Oi, Ijichi! I-ji-chi! Over here! Come wish me a happy birthday!” He waves his arms around like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, declaring—unlike Tom Hanks—that he’s coming to him instead.

“Don’t go around terrorizing people, ‘Toru.” Your voice has him stopping his march to peck your lips.

“Promise I’ll be a good boy. You’re free to punish me if I’m not.” He smirks, finger-gunning you all the while stepping backwards in slow motion.

“You never are!”

“Hmm, that’s only because I’m the best. And you’d better prepare a handsome reward for when we get home, ‘cause the best always wins.” A flirtatious wink makes you question how many people listened in on your exchange, praying that the answer is none.

You take advantage of Satoru’s absence to pay a visit to your old friends, mentally counting the days since the last time you all gathered up. It’s been way too long—the beer you’d promised to catch up over turned into a distant fantasy.

“Gonna get yourself nauseous if you keep staring at that whirlpool, Shoko Senpai.” You plop down on the closest vacant chair, the bored brunette humming without lifting her eyes from the lemonade swirling inside her cup.

“If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you.” She states, managing to sound both mesmerized and disinterested at the same time.

“And? Seen anything yet?” You lean closer.

She retires with a sigh, dark circles looming below her hazelnut eyes. “Nothing yet.”

“How about now?”

Pulling your trump card—aka one of those miniature vodka bottles you specifically brought with her in mind—from your pocket, you pour a generous amount into her drink, reminiscing about the time she accidentally spiked Satoru’s soda and had him swimming on the floor.

It takes one sip for Shoko to liven up, a sudden jolt of energy coursing through her veins as she reaches out for the bottle.

“You’re a lifesaver, you know that?”

You chuckle. “Big praise coming from someone who actually saves lives.”

“Big words coming from people who openly drink in front of underage students.” The man to your left observes, absentmindedly picking at the tentacles of the octopus sausage on his plate.

“Kento! You made it!” You tip from one side of your chair to the other, arms dangling empty as he dodges your hug. “Having fun?”

“Please stop acting like him. I know the years in his company have caused your twisted personalities to merge, but the world is already wretched enough with one Gojo Satoru around.” He munches on the “good part” of the dissected octopus, discarding the tentacles inside a carefully folded napkin.

“But to answer your question, whether I’d rather spend my Friday afternoon explaining to everyone I know that the man in the picture dancing inappropriately with half-naked models in Ibiza isn’t me but a look-alike or sitting here, chaperoning a bunch of kids and making sure no one kills themselves, then yes. It’s not as horrible as I expected. And you’re as good of a cook as I remembered.” He wipes his mouth. “But I’m still clocking out at 7 sharp.”

“Come on! I did what I had to do to get you here!” You giggle, experiencing a little of the same rush Satoru feels when he’s poking fun at Ijichi. Oh no. “I am glad you’re enjoying the food, at least!”

A sound viler than any curse’s wail pierces through your ears as a TV cart is dragged into the room. You recognize it as Yaga’s old torture device—those five-hour black and white tapes gleaming menacingly on the lower shelves, with an unknown machine piled atop the cassette player. You aren’t sure what its purpose is until Yuji connects a microphone to it.

“Everyone—ah, ah, ah! Can you hear me?” The boy dabs a palm against the microphone, sounding loud and clear across the room. “Fushiguro, can you hear me? Fushiguro—ah, ah, ah!” The last of his ah’s interrupted by Megumi’s calling him out in front of their live audience.

“Everyone, thank you for coming to Gojo Sensei’s birthday party! I’m Itadori Yuji, and I’m happy to have co-hosted this event with Miss Y/N.”

A couple of heads turn in your direction, Satoru’s among them. It’s easy to make out his silhouette when he dwarfs everyone around him—Principle Yaga on his side and an antsy Ijichi lurking behind them.

“I enrolled in this school a little over a semester ago by accident.” Yuji continues undeterred. “Back then, I didn’t know any more about curses than the next person. Not that I do now.” He scratches through his hair. “Honestly, it was a lot to stomach, especially the part where I get to share my body with another. I was told I’d be better off dead, and I did die once. I was supposed to be dead, but then Gojo sensei gave me a choice, and I’m here because of that choice. More than a helping hand, he’s been a guiding light to me, and on behalf of all of us, thank you, and Happy Birthday!”He bows. “I hope you have a good one!”

Yuji holds out the microphone for Satoru, the two of them sharing a high five with an affectionate pat seeing the boy off.

“Thank you, Yuji, for this wonderful speech!” Satoru grins, evidently moved by his student’s words. “Everyoooooooooooone! Give it up for the man of the hour, the one and only, the most incredibly handsome and magnificently strong sorcerer known as Gooooooooooojo Saaaaatoruuuu!” His body twists in a pirouette, peace signs and heart signs flying everywhere as he lands with a finger pointing at where the imaginary camera would be.

Unsurprisingly, no one is impressed. Cricket sounds almost audible.

“Wow, okay. Tough crowd, I guess.” His lips comically jerk to one side of his face, his tone turning nasal before switching back. “I won’t bore you with individual thanks and other useless formality crap.”

He smirks at the way your mouth rounds a silent gasp. Nanami notices too, posing a question you shrug off.

“To cut it short: first-years! You’ve all proved yourselves as worthy sorcerers and worthier humans. As a reward, I’m proud to announce your reward in the form of a—c’mon guys, drum your desks a little!—luxurious, one of a kind, ten outta ten, uniquely planned field trip by moi!”

“Is it Paris? Are you taking us to Paris?” Nobara dreams out loud.

“Sensei! How about Universal Studio? I saw them post their newest churrito flavor on their webpage.”

“Can I sit this one out?” A gloomy murmur begs.

“Great thinking, Yuji! Unfortunately, Nobara, we won’t be going overseas this time, but, Megumi, you’ll definitely want to reconsider once you hear our destination, which iiiiiis—excitement is free, everyone!—Parque Espana!” Satoru claps for his suggestion.

Three dejected faces say pass in unison, with only Megumi daring to complain about Satoru taking him and Tsumiki to the theme park every second Sunday when the two were younger. You remember that. Some times you’d tag along, and you’d all grab ice cream while staring at that humongous roller coaster the kids were too short to ride.

Undefeated, Satoru directs his attention to the second-year students, the three of them loitering by the chip bowl. His tone turning grave, “Second years, I’m honestly very disappointed in all of you. In our two years of knowing each other, you never thought to throw your favorite teacher a party for his birthday. You’re lucky I don’t have the authority to drop you a grade, but still. You fail!”

“Fish Flakes!” Inumaki expresses his supposed disagreement.

“Huh? You never even told us when your birthday was because you didn’t want us knowing your real age, you blindfolded idiot!”

“Maki, not now!” Panda anxiously gets in her way. “Cool it!”

“You should have figured it out yourselves.” Satoru toots. “Moving forward! I’d like to give my special thanks to the moon of my life, my sun, and my stars.”—you knew watching Game of Thrones with him was a very bad idea—“Y/N! Come here, sweetie. Don’t be shy; everyone knows how much we love each other.

It almost feels like you have the limelight shining on you, with every person eagerly awaiting your response. You gulp hard, whispering so that only Nanami can hear. “You were right. Please save me.”

“What is it, Buttercup? You already have my heart, but if there’s anything you’d like for me to do, then now is the moment to say it.” Satoru smiles sweetly, his voice dripping with honey.

“Actually, there is. Can you put me down?” You kick your legs around while he hoists you up in bridal style, your unjust abduction having occurred in the blink of an eye.

“Anything and everything for you!” He kisses the top of your head, holding you close to him even after letting your feet touch the ground. “Alright, that’d be all! I hope everyone gets to have the time of their lives. Now, let’s get this party started!” He throws the microphone up in the air.

Nothing happens.

“I said, let’s get this party star—whatever.” Satoru gives up half-way through raising his arm again. “Yuji, play something fun!”

“On it!” Yuji salutes him, and the two of you walk away from the blackboard.

A faint sigh echoes behind you, its relief cut short as Satoru grabs the microphone once more. “Ah, right. Ijichi, I’ll see you in my office on Monday. I’d wear a headband if I were you.”

“I’ve c-committed a mortal sin, G-Gojo!” Ijichi struggles to say, uncertain of the crime he’s being accused of, yet hopeful for Satoru’s forgiveness.

“You are such a menace!” You throw a playful punch to his chest once he sits you on his lap, away from the eyes of people gathering around the karaoke machine, and close to Nanami, who departs with a disgusted scoff.

“You love me for it.” Satoru’s lips press softly against yours, incapable of hiding his smile when you pull his face in for another kiss, the tight squish of his arms making sure you’re going nowhere.

“I do.” You affirm, rubbing your nose on his. “I love you.”

“How much?” His eyes crinkle fondly.

“Hmm, like, a lot?” You giggle, your fingers absently brushing through the trimmed hair on the back of his skull. “Enough to spend half a lifetime by your side and still find you the most incredible person in all of creation.”

“Wanna spend the other half too?” His breath on your cheek colors your skin red, your eyes momentarily lost between shades of blue.

“Come back with a ring, Shit-toru.”

“That’s not the way you talk to your future husband!”

“He’s here? With us? Right now?” You gasp, frantically looking around, until Satoru forces you to face him with a thumb on your chin, his other hand squeezing an innocent touch around your thigh.

“Satoru!”

“Scared your future husband will see us?” He throws his head back, laughing at your panicked state. “Don’t worry. I’ll fight him for you. And win. After all, I am the strongest.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, he did it! He said the line with only—”you glance at your phone—“six hours left before the day ends, what an amazing record!”

A shrill screech fired from the other side of the room interrupts your banter, the microphone turning into a lethal weapon in Panda’s massive palms. The students appear to have divided themselves into couples, fighting over who gets to go first until Inumaki takes the initiative with a rap song—or, more accurately, sings over a rap song, as the only words in his roster revolve around onigiri ingredients that are mentioned nowhere in the lyrics.

“Stop hogging the mic!” Maki attempts to steal it, backing away as the boy teases to unzip his collar. She knows better than to push her limits while unarmed.

Panda still gets in the middle. For precaution, you assume.

“Reminds you of something?” Satoru comments on your riveted attention. “They’re just like us. How we once were. Young and full of dreams.”

“Nah. You were always a horny bastard.” You slap the inappropriately placed hand away before you get up and sit where Nanami was previously stationed. Poking your tongue at his devastated expression.

Conversation between the two of you is kept to a minimum after a different tune begins blasting from the speakers—Yuji and Megumi take over the stage with Takada-Chan’s most recent success, one of them performing the vocals to perfection while the other merely mumbles yeah’s whenever the song calls for it. Next are Nobara and Maki, the two girls belting out to an anthem of empowerment that has the boys in the room gulping uncomfortably among themselves.

The mood shifts completely when Yaga pours his soul into an 80’s power ballad, his raspy voice transforming into the smoothest velvet, complemented by Panda’s harmonies. Even Satoru praises his old teacher, cheering him on from the bleachers with a makeshift napkin-banner.

You don’t realize your boyfriend’s gone until you see him with the microphone in hand, bending the cable as he makes quick gestures for the floor to empty, performing what is possibly the cheesiest, most romantic love song ever written, and ushering you to join him once he drops to his knees—quite literally at your feet.

You ruffle his hair and shove his goofy expression away. No matter how charming his singing voice may be, he’ll never get you to sing in public. Similar to how he’ll never catch you admitting how loudly your heart beats in your chest, despite the fact that it’s written all over your face.

God, you hate this man. So much that part of you wishes you’d spent his birthday like you did every other year—tangled in his sheets and kissing till you cannot breathe.

As soon as the karaoke session ends, Megumi and Yuji exit the room to bring in the cake, with Satoru jumping them for a thorough inspection. The dessert is inspired by one of his favorite confections. Handmade mochi bites are spread evenly between three layers of fluffy strawberry cake, the entire enterprise covered in fine red bean paste and topped with vanilla buttercream, strawberry cutouts, and, of course, more mochi in a light pink shade to recreate the world’s largest daifuku.

You lost count of how many failed attempts it took to create your own recipe from scratch, but the look on Satoru’s face is better than any payment you could possibly ask. He struggles to find a word that describes his feelings—phenomenal being the one he ends up using. Definitely better than chocolate cake. Perhaps even on par with the legendary Laputa.

Everyone gathers anew for the birthday boy to blow out his candles, awkwardness sweeping through the crowd as, one by one, you come to the conclusion that there is no available lighter.

you search through your pockets for a lighter, finding none. Shoko’s unhealthy (and supposedly cut) habit comes in clutch, with the brunette handing Yuji the keys to her office. The boy sprints outside at full speed, idle chatter put on pause as the TV starts playing on its own, the song selection window traded for a relic of the past.

“Is this even working?” A young Shoko taps the camera, tilting her body at a curious angle. Short skirt rolling up.

“Probably not. That shit’s ancient, but feel free to test it! Maybe try showing it something funnier, like your pant—”

Horny bastard. Right on the money.

“Cut it off, Satoru.” A voice makes both you and present-day Satoru shudder, its owner taking the camera from their friend’s hand to shoot footage around the gym. “Yaga Sensei told us to use this to document the Goodwill Event, not film amateur gravure.” The frame shakes once more. “Looks good to me.”

“Pft, what’s the point?” Satoru flicks a pebble at the camera. “So he can make a quick buck out of me destroying those brats? The outcome’s already decided. Now turn this thing off. I wanna lay under the sun without some junk in my face.”

The camera zooms in on him splaying his limbs on the grass, possibly near the track field, based on the slight hint of red inside the green.

“The only junk in your face is your face itself.” Shoko deadpans, making him chase after her while Suguru continues filming them until they turn into a pair of flickering dots.

“These two.”

The world is turned upside down as a close-up of his bang takes over the screen. Realizing that himself, he pulls the camera further away, cat-like irises shining like pure amber under the sunny sky. You’ve missed their warmth.

“Preparation for the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, Day 1.” He declares, and the screen goes black in an instant, white noise reigning over the space.

Your hand seeks Satoru’s on its own, the faint sound of his name dangling from your parted lips, both your breaths catching in your throats. He’s left gawking at the screen, reciprocating your touch with shaky fingers that try to anchor him to you. It’s safe to say this was not part of your plan.

“Weird. Thought it’d be one of those old workout tapes.” Nobara reveals herself as the culprit behind the incident, ejecting the tape back into its box and later standing with her hands pinned to her waist. “Gojo Sensei, I recognize you and Ieri, but who was that third person in the video? Bangs Guy.”

Out of everyone in the room, she’s the only one to have absolutely no information on Suguru. Aside from the adults, the second-years were all present during last year’s attack, and Megumi knows whatever has slipped from Satoru during his stay at the Gojo clan’s compound.

Nobody rushes to respond; all of you tuned in on Satoru even though only Shoko, Yaga, and you are directly gazing at him, his face contorted with a pained grimace he tries hard to disguise.

“Geto Suguru was—”

“My best friend.” Satoru grins at Principal Yaga’s attempt to help him, grasping your hand more confidently as he confronts the girl. “Geto Suguru is my best friend.”

“Huh. Guess there’s hope for everyone.” No one’s left with any courage to laugh at Nobara’s poor attempt at a joke. “Where is he now—”

“Senseiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” A voice gains volume as the door bursts open, Yuji pouring into the classroom with the lighter held over his head like it’s the Olympic flame. “I g-got th-the—” He tries to breathe, ending up only saying, “Fire. Wish. What. Miss?”

“Yuji!” Satoru makes you follow him to the door. “You’re right on time! And no, you didn’t miss anything. Just stories of the past.”

“Stories?” Yuji wipes the sweat off his forehead. Still very much exasperated. “But I…like stories.”

“I know you do.” Satoru’s eyes settle on yours, the clamor in his eyes hushing for the first time in years. “But birthday wishes are meant for a future that’s yet to be written.”

“Thank you!”

Appreciation falls from your lips as a long-drawn yawn, every second you spend huddled under the kotatsu’s warmth begging to lull you to sleep. Today was a long day. So long, it feels as if it spanned an entire lifetime.

Satoru plops down beside you, the neckline of his sweatshirt diving low over his collarbones as he chugs his share of hot cocoa. Yours remains untouched while you switch between the same two movie options, incapable of picking one over the other.

“What do you have for me?” He asks, running his fingers over the ceramic rim. A melodic string instrument-like sound is induced.

“Okay so. Got the cult classic Sixteen Candles, which we’ve probably watched more times than Molly Ringwald had to practice her lines for the role, and I also have La Boum, in case you’re feeling more adventurous, and I don’t know. Frenchy, maybe.”

“Hmm, I mean. When you phrase it like that…”He acts as if he’s seriously contemplating his choice, only to snatch the remote from your hand and choose La Boum. He smiles slyly, curling near your chest. “It’s what you obviously wanted to watch. And I always choose, so.”

“Forfeiting your birthday boy rights?” You hum, tenderly combing through his freshly washed white strands. He smells just like his cake, you think. “Be careful. There are still nine minutes left before your birthday’s over, and you’re robbed of your rights for an entire year. Think you can make it?”

“Will you be with me during those horrid days?” His voice turns muffled.

“Always. Now, before the movie starts and you ruin the fun with your excessive blabbing, how about you reach under the kotatsu for your gift?” You suggest, chuckling as his head lifts up, cerulean eyes shining with unfeigned surprise.

“Angel! You shouldn’t have!” Satoru beams whole as he drags the heavy box out, shaking it in an attempt to feel out its contents.

“You know that doesn’t work with me. C’mon. I’ll pause for you.”

He wastes no time to untie the light silver bow that ties the box together, taking, however, his sweet time to review each and every object placed within. Carefully, he lays everything out on the table, small gasps evading him at a constant and maturing into a full-on shriek as he spots that one rare Digimon trading card you bust your gut trying to purchase via private online auctions.

“I—um. I know it doesn’t sound too good ‘cause I’m your girlfriend and I’m supposed to know everything about you and what you want, but I really had no idea what to get for your birthday. So I decided to get you a bit of everything from your favorite things. You can blame me for weaponizing nostalgia later.”

You clear your throat with a quick sip of cocoa. Licking your lips, “Anyway. It’s really no biggie as you can see. I just bought off some trading cards, ported a few of your old favorite games to a current generation console—yes, Street Fighter included—and made you this silly beaded charm with our initials for your phone, since they are back in fashion.

“I know it’s not much, and you could buy those things at any given time, but—time is something you cannot buy, right? Your childhood, your youth. The so-called best years of your life. I wanted you to have that back, even if just for a day.”

It’s been minutes, and Satoru remains quizzically silent, to the point where the array of kisses aimed at your neck comes as a true ambush. You’re knocked to the floor, giggling and flailing while he shows you his affection in every way possible, kissing you, praising you, hugging you—loving you.

“H-Happy Birthday, Toru.” You repel his face enough to say. “Y-you know, a thank you would be nice to hear!”

“As if you don’t know what I’m about to say.” Satoru grins, holding your palms to his mouth. Kissing them one by one, repeatedly, and slowly. Multiple times each. “You are my childhood. And my youth. And the best years of my life—they are all you. Everything we’ve been through, and everything we’ll live together.”

“How’s that for a thank you?” He chuckles, quickly breaking the tension with a final kiss on your nose. Perhaps the only part of you that’s not tinged red. “That being said…”

“You want to go for a quickie?” You sniffle against your will.

“See? You do know everything about me.” He reaches for the deck of cards with the swirly brown backside. “It’s time to duel!”

A/N: sorry for hastily written ending. had no time, oopsie!

[xerith-42]

Why Blaze is MyStreet's Most Failed Character

Blame the big bang discord for this post, I wasn't gonna write it until those fucks encouraged me.

Anyways here's an entire essay about why Blaze is the most wasted character in the entirety of MyStreet and I will literally fight Jessica and Jason Bravura with my bare hands.

To get us started on our harrowing tale of wasted potential and the best improviser Jessica ever hired, we need to go back a little. Back to Phoenix Drop High Season 2. We won't stay here long, I promise, I hate it more than you can possibly know. But the single saving grace of this absolute mess of a season is ya boi, Blaze. Introduced in the 18th episode of the season, airing on April 12, 2017, with the airing of Phoenix Drop High Season 2 Episode 18, Blaze was a character who started his brief tenure series with a bang!

Literally dude showed up and the first thing he ever did on screen as a character in a piece of media we can engage with is throw someone out of a window. We do not know this mans name yet and he's already left a lasting impression. Sure throwing people out of a window is common in werewolf culture, which I don't care what you say that's objectively funny, but it is bold to start a characters entire introduction with that. Blaze comes out of the gate swinging before he's said a single line.

And then after introducing himself he throws a dead bird at Aphmau to show off his hunting skills?? Okay so he's just that fucking weird and overly enthusiastic about things I guess! That's amazing! MyStreet always shines when it just lets it's characters be fucking weird without making a big deal out of it or talking them down for it. Dottie even says that it's romantic which is again just a great showing of Blaze's enthusiasm and lack of what might appear to be common social decorum because of said enthusiasm.

This is all punctuated and brought to a hilarious breaking point when Blaze's final showing of why he should be the new top dog at his school is when the crazy mother fucker rips his shirt off to literally flex about how he's one of the hottest guys in the school. And I'm going to be real with you, given Blaze's later characterization as a himbo, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually care about this. He just says it because he thinks it'll boost his chances. Blaze is later shown to be a character willing to throw away his reputation for the things he cares about, but he does get a rather sincere moment with Aphmau, even if she's blushing the entire time.

It shows that Blaze is not only physically affectionate, but also weirdly comfortable with his shirt off. Because this is purely objective character analysis I will not be shoving my Blaze is autistic and has sensory problems with things touching his chest propaganda down your throats, but now that I've mentioned it once you won't stop thinking about it when this comes up.

The show admittedly fumbles the bag a little by having Blaze say in his internal monologue that he thinks Aphmau is cute and acts kind of like a tsundere, but this is Jesson writing so there's always bound to be a bit of That Shit. But in spite of that, Blaze is a character who has an instant impression that leaves a lot of room for comedy potential, and just good ol' fashion silliness. And while the werewolf plot of Season 2 is... bad, Blaze and the Werewolf Pups are stand out characters in the sense that their characterization leaves a lot of potential if they're in a different, better written story.

And even if the arc is bad, Blaze still is a quality part of it. His shallow but hilarious initial characterization gets built on in some really solid ways. Namely in how he acts as a force for good in Aphmau's life even if she doesn't realize or give him permission to do it. This entire season is about how the different men in Aphmau's life handle helping her in a crisis, and funnily enough, in a season centered around Aaron literally overthrowing Aphmau's new love interest, Blaze is the one who was consistently doing what was best for Aphmau.

Aaron fumbles the ball more than a few times, Ein is shown to be actively malicious, and Kai gets hate crimed. But Blaze, who's barely even a contender in this ship war, is constantly working to actually make things better while everyone else is pulling Aphmau away from what actively matters about her position. While Ein is manipulating her and Aaron is trying to prove that, Blaze throws caution to the wind and just does what he thinks is best to restore order.

But more important than that end conclusion is his true goal of standing up for Daniel. A wolf it is established he barely knew before this year, that Blaze is willing to throw his reputation and standing in a bull shit hierarchy because he's seeing how this hierarchy is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Blaze is the one who is baring his fangs and willing to throw hands when Daniel cowers away from bullies. By the end of the season Blaze has been given adequate screen time to not only show off his fun and maybe a tad out of touch side, but he's been given a real level of sincerity that's tied into the things he's enthusiastic about. He loves being a werewolf, and he extends that love to all the werewolves around him, until they start being dicks to other werewolves who are literally just sitting there.

At the center of Blaze is that inherent goofiness though. He's always cracking jokes, or the joke when he's on screen, and in a series that was originally pitched as a light hearted slice of life comedy in contrast to MCD's general misery, that sort of character is needed to keep the tone. Such is show in episode 22 when Blaze is reading a book on the Scientific Method to just learn more about science, but realizes the book is upside down.

But he actually understood it enough to properly apply the scientific method to this situation?? Iconic. It's played off as a joke of Blaze exploiting a loophole to get out of class, but even that's pretty smart honestly. Blaze may be a dumb ass but he's always willing to cheat an unfair system.

Episode 22 is basically a Blaze centric episode, which I did not expect, but now that I'm rewatching it for this post it might be the reason I love this character so dearly. It's not only the episode where Blaze manages to learn the Scientific Method upside down, but also stands up for Daniel in a really substantial way. Blaze is loud, enthusiastic, and strong, all traits that are celebrated by werewolf culture, and whether he realizes it or not, him just being around Daniel can do a lot to get bullies to back off. Everyone has seen Blaze toss a mother fucker through a window, they do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what Ein's deal is when he hears that Ein went behind Aphmau's back on werewolf matters, landing Daniel in this situation. He hears Ein actively plotting against Daniel, but that is normal werewolf behavior. He concludes that he'll keep an eye on Ein. And this through line of "normal werewolf behavior" informs a lot of Blaze's decisions once he comes to the conclusion that Ein sucks and deserves to be undermined. He resorts to letting his actions speak louder than words and goes to violence after realizing that the wolves aren't listening to reason, they're listening to instinct.

He fights fire with fire, and while Aphmau might not approve, it's more effective than her soft rhetoric has been in getting people to be less of jackasses. This eventually lands him in hot water where he steps in for Daniel after Ein tries to get his goons to beat him up, and even if Blaze is fighting in a five v one, he still goes down swinging. And I'll say it, I think it's sweet that he calls Aaron after this happens. While it's clearly meant to be a thing of Blaze calling the last alpha because he's probably the only person who anyone will listen to, there's an important detail I think is easily overlooked.

He has Aaron's number.

He says he got it from the werewolf pups, but that means that Blaze went out of his way to make sure he could contact Aaron. He's the reason that Aaron even realizes Ein is playing all of them. Blaze is the catalyst for his undoing because unlike Aaron who's nearly imprisoned, heartbroken, and been hesitant to act in the plot as a result, Blaze doesn't actually care that much if Aphmau currently likes him because he's more worried about her physical and mental well being than whether she wants to kiss him or someone else.

How many Aphmau love interests can say that?

Can any of them say that?

Blaze can.

Blaze actually consistently shows a level of selflessness that's unfitting of how I've seen some people characterize him. He gives up his real chance to be Alpha because Daniel is so compassionate and earnest and genuinely deserves it. Blaze wants to believe in a future lead by people like Daniel and Aphmau where he might not have to keep fighting people to keep things sane. Blaze constantly gives up his pride, his power, his safety just to make sure that his friends are taken care of, or to effect real change in a school he's about to leave.

It wouldn't be long after Phoenix Drop High Season 2 ended that Blaze would make his debut in the main series My Street in the second episode of Season 5, airing only a few days after the end of Phoenix Drop High Season 2. Just like before he really shows up with a bang, literally throwing himself through the air between Lucinda and Kim just to catch a frisbee because Blaze is the most extra mother fucker ever, and then immediately proceeds to flirt with them. Iconic as ever. Short but sweet.

It's in episode 3 that it's revealed that Blaze and the werewolf pups kept Aaron company during his rehabilitation year. But from the way it's worded it sounds like Blaze was called in before anyone else by Aaron's parents. Based on the way they talked and actively planned together before, I wouldn't be surprised if Blaze was the first person who came to his mind when Aaron thought of a werewolf friend.

I think Aaron reached out to Blaze when he needed it.

And even though I've previously stated that I don't think Aaron's parents initially liked Blaze because by this era he's old enough to fully take on his persona as the cool stoner friend who's also a little insane in the most charming way possible, he has a good impact on Aaron. Aaron likes being around him, and maybe they smoke weed to help Aaron relieve some of the lasting pain when no one's looking.

Regardless of his methods, Blaze does an ultimate good in Aaron's life as a result of being there for him when he needed it. So much so that he was invited out to Starlight and is shown to be one of Aaron's main pillars of support. We are given scarcely little of this actual friendship, which is where the problem lies. While before Blaze was a surprisingly engaging part of an other wise terrible story, at least in season 5 the story is a lot slower and character focused. And Blaze can work in these moments, we saw him have real moments of sincerity before.

He gets some of it, but the issue is that Blaze isn't allowed to be alone anymore. The cast of MyStreet is huge, and Blaze is a character who is making his second major appearance, while some characters in the cast have been present since literally episode one. It's hard to justify giving him solo screen time when he's been in the series for such little time and we barely have enough time for certain significant characters to really have arcs (Lucinda). Most of Blaze's scenes are scenes with at least four other characters on screen, he's never allowed screen time without at least two other werewolf characters attached to him.

I don't object to Blaze hanging out with his friends, or even making new ones though out the season but... Would it kill the writers to let him have a scene with Aaron? Like. A single scene. Where it's just Blaze and Aaron. I mean just Blaze and Aaron without Aphmau there. They've done this before. They did it in the season Blaze showed up in. Just one scene where the two of them get to talk about literally anything would do so much. Even if they talk about Aphmau, it's better than nothing. It would strengthen both of their characters so much to be able to get a scene where they talk to each other not as conspirators who kinda know each other, but as real friends supporting one another.

Show that even though Blaze said Daniel was more compassionate than he was, Blaze still is a compassionate and even empathetic person. Show why Aaron was grateful to have him during his recovery. They have those scenes of Aaron at physical therapy, right? Why not have Blaze take him one time and just show how they interact then? The possibilities with this unrealized idea are endless, and that's genuinely upsetting. Opportunities like this present themselves every time Blaze makes an appearance, they even tease me by giving me scenes where Aaron is alone with a character he has little to no connection with, Maria.

Maria was a foil for Aphmau. And Ein was a foil for Aaron. And Blaze was a foil for Ein. There is no reason for Maria to really have a rapor that matters with Aaron. He doesn't really know her that well, she's clearly a friend by association, and it seems like an odd thing to focus on when Blaze is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

Why won't they let Blaze talk to Aaron? It's so infuriating. The closest we get is in episode 7 when Blaze attempts to calm down Aaron, but he's shown to be ineffective and it comes down to, of course, Aphmau being the one to talk him down. I swear to Hatsune the writers are making fun of me at this point. They're going "Oooooh you want Blaze to be an actually helpful and supportive figure in Aaron's life soooo bad." AND I DO!

I'm serious when I say the show is teasing me. I've been skimming through Season 5 and only watching the episodes when Blaze is on screen, and so far he has never been in a scene with less than 4 people in it. Never. And even in scenes where he gets to be at least a focal point, he's always limited because he has to share that moment in the spotlight with FOUR OTHER CHARACTERS.

Episode 14 is a great example of this. When the werewolf gang gets told they aren't allowed to eat at a restaurant because they're werewolves, Blaze makes it abundantly obvious that he's put up with this before and really doesn't feel like being hate crimed on his vacation. And he knows that actions speak louder than words and therefore joins Maria in saying they should "teach this establishment a lesson." Personally I think Blaze would've just thrown the manager through a window only to realize it's an outdoor establishment and throw him into the ocean. Which would be objectively funny and deserved because that owner was being cringe and racist.

I love the conversation that happens because it shows the unique way that Aaron sees things from passing as a human for most of his life. This has never happened, but he knows that further acts of violence as a result will only make it happen again. This is a great scene for Aaron. Not really good for Blaze, and the next scene makes him worse. I love the detail that Blaze is an instinctual person more than a planner, but it feels wrong that he doesn't even let Aaron consider planning. I know he wants Aaron to be more spontaneous but he should have more awareness of his friend and his habits and be able to accommodate it, not talk over it.

But it's Jesson, so misunderstanding even their simplest character is par for the course. At least episode 15 gives me Garroth and Blaze talking in the background, and I'm starved for good Blaze content, so I was eating this shit up. The problem with watching MyStreet this way is that Blaze... Just doesn't get a lot of moments... At all. There are some episodes where he doesn't even speak at all, and when he does get to talk in episodes, he gets a few lines in one giant ensemble scene.

I don't object to a show having an ensemble cast, or even a lot of characters with a few central ones, but it really is a detriment to the show that Aaron never gets a scene alone with any werewolf he isn't related to. Nana gets to talk to Blaze when she's having a crisis of her relationship history and experience, but it's just so Blaze can tell her the opposite of what she wants to hear. It's not a scene that feels like it was written for Blaze, because it wasn't. It was written for Nana.

And before some jack ass says it "Blaze is a side character he's not supposed to get a lot of focus" and I'm not asking for a lot. I watched every scene he's in in PDH to prove that it works

BECAUSE IT DID.

Blaze showed up officially in episode 18 out of 30, and he wasn't in every episode after his introduction. But the writers gave him a solid introduction, one good episode that spent most of its run time with him, and really good moments throughout the rest of his time in the series. All I'm asking is that Season 5 at least give me one of those things. Either a good episode where he and his relationship with Aaron is brought into focus, even if it's used as a vector to study Aaron's character, or just more sincere moments for him.

It feels like Blaze is a joke character now when he previously made it very clear he's far more than that.

And then they just forget about him. During the first part of the 3 part finale Blaze is there. He's the one who got everyone to gather at the docks because an mf wants to eat some scrumptious food. But when Aaron sees Ein and starts freaking out, Blaze is literally just not in the scene. At all. Not even as like a throwaway of someone who could've helped but failed, he just is not in the scene at all. It legitimately feels like the writers forgot about him entirely.

Blaze the minute the plot shows up:

He's there after Garroth gets turned and was apparently at Garroth's bedside trying to calm him down which I will be thinking about. A lot. I'll be thinking about how we deserved to see or at least hear some of it, about how the writers continue to tease me with an interesting scene that involves my favorite little fucker, about how heartbreaking it would have been to see Blaze and Melissa try to calm Garroth only for him to scream in pain and try to push them away only to reveal that Zane and Nana are able to hear the entire ordeal downstairs and Zane is panicking when he hears his brother screaming in pain. Just thinking about what we could've had if the writers actually cared about any of these characters.

And then after that he dies.

I'm not watching any of When Angels Fall because I know what's good for my health. I know what happens in Season 6 Episode 9 and that's all I need to know. It doesn't matter if the writers may have finally given Blaze an emotional scene, it doesn't matter if they finally gave him even a hint of character development, it doesn't matter if he made a connection in a real way. Because no matter what he did the result is the same. No matter what quality the writers might've pulled out of their ass, it would ultimately be in service of one end. From the start of this season these writers knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to up the stakes and add more drama to the show, and they wanted to do it by killing Blaze.

And I think I know why.

This is 100% a limited view, but I was on Aphmau Instagram at the time that this season was airing. And I ran a Blaze fan account. I talked to a lot of MyStreet fans during this time and I was constantly upset and disappointed that people didn't understand Blaze's character, or just didn't appreciate it as much as I do. Most people liked Blaze on a very surface level, or because he was attached to another character they liked. I found very few people who genuinely cared about him as an individual, probably because Blaze stopped getting scenes alone by the end of PDH, and because the Aphmau fandom (at the time) had more of a focus on shipping than character work and quality. Blaze was easily shippable with a number of characters, canonically shipped with Dottie a little, and had enough characterization that people cared about him, but not enough to get a large dedicated fanbase.

He was the perfect one to kill.

Enough people liked him because he was hard to hate, he was stapled onto Aaron's character with little regard for a story of his own, and his death could be eventually inconsequential. And it was! Blaze's method of dying is so bad it makes me physically angry!

I know the whole story for the last few seasons has been all about Forever Potions and turning people against each other, but just mind controlling Blaze and having him die while under mind control is such such a missed opportunity. There's been a disappointing lack of proper Aaron and Blaze friendship content, but they could have made up for it in this scene with just a few tweaks. Just have Blaze not be mind controlled at the end. He can still go on that rant about Aaron being the cause of all the bad that's happened, but then the words start to become... disjointed. Jilted. As if Blaze is struggling to say them because he knows that they're wrong. Aaron's his friend, there's no way he'd say that about him.

Have it break.

Have him look at his friend in a worse state than he's ever been in, and instead of approaching him with intent to harm, it's intent to heal. A final attempt at getting through to Aaron. And like the times before, it doesn't work. Aaron's angrier than ever and he isn't seeing or thinking straight thanks to Ein's bull shit. All he can see is an enemy in his way. Maybe he sees Blaze's eyes but Blaze's green eye is still Emerald Green, even if the control broke for a moment. Whatever reason, Aaron still attacks.

He doesn't realize that Blaze wasn't trying to hurt him until it's too late. Aaron's anger already ruined a friend's life, it already pulled all of them into the hell they're in, and now it's killed one of his best friends.

ONE CHANGE. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. ONE SINGLE CHANGE TO MAKE BLAZE'S DEATH ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING.

Ideally I'd like it Blaze just didn't die at all, least of all before the finale, but if you're going to kill him off unceremoniously at least make it have some emotional weight. You've been neglecting him for an entire season and now you just kill him off? Just like that? Oh he gets to show up in heaven? How nice. Is it a scene where he gets to express regrets, remorse, or even give any insight into his feelings?

Of course it fucking isn't! Are you kidding me, that's not even close to what happens. I said i wouldn't watch When Angels Fall but

I LIED!!

I watched Blaze's death scene and his scene in heaven to make sure I knew well and good how badly they failed to kill off my favorite character! And man, the scene in heaven is just the worst! Blaze does a genuinely kind thing for Aphmau and decides to stay with her when she's alone because he doesn't want her to hurt. He saw how much pain Aaron was in without her. He just wants to fucking help her.

But Aphmau's too self absorbed to realize that and instead goes on a whole rant about how she always needs other people to take care of or protect her and how everyone else would be better off yadda yadda. What she doesn't realize and what Blaze eventually gets to tell her is that people were around her and took care of her because they just wanted to. Because she was nice to be around. And they never expected anything else, and never saw her as a burden.

And that's actually a really nice moment. Sort of. There's two major problems. First, Blaze gets cut off from telling Aphmau this at first because Irene has to go on a whole rant about Aphmau being selfish. And she is right in everything that she says, but it feels weird for Irene, who literally doesn't know her, to be making this judgement. This scene should have been Irene observing a conversation between Blaze and Aphmau were Blaze just tries to make her feel better.

And that would hopefully solve problem number two. Which is that what Blaze says is very genuine and heartfelt, but severely handicapped by the fact that he and Aphmau were only friends for a short period of time in High School, and an equally short period of time within the last few months. What Blaze says about why he likes being around her is true, but it would have a lot more weight if there was a chance for Blaze to have been around her as a friend more.

Fuck it, if you need Blaze to be on screen with at least two other characters, why was there never a scene of Blaze, Aaron and Aphmau just talking? Would a single scene of that fucking killed you? Just one scene would have made their friendships a lot more solid and therefore heartbreaking to lose when it gets torn apart.

Third problem, the scene ends with a focus on Irene. Blaze's words echo in her ears, and remind her of her friends. And I like that idea because I'm an absolute sucker for MCD, but it takes the scene away from the focus. This should be a scene about one of Aphmau's friends encouraging her to not give up even if it all seems lost. At least don't let her death be in vain by saying such awful things about her friends while they may be grieving. But Irene is brought into focus again because the show isn't about Blaze, or Aphmau apparently, I guess her Aphmau Main Character Powers overrides Aphmau's. She has more experience with them.

Blaze and Aphmau's very heartfelt dialogue is brought down by the fact that these two characters lives didn't intersect very directly out of high school. Through the course of Season 5 I never got the idea that Blaze was Aphmau's friend. Not to say they weren't friendly, I think Blaze adored her just as much as he did in high school, but as a viewer I was never shown that they cared particularly for one another. I believe that Blaze sincerely cared about her even after all this time, but that's not because of anything the writers did with him in these seasons. It's just because that's the kind of person Blaze is.

But their friendship not being strong really weakens the scene. This is a scene that I know for a fact worked as intended when I watched it as it was coming out. I was an overemotional mess of a 15 year old who hated how this series was going but kept watching it because it was almost over and I might as well get it done with. It pulled on my heartstrings and they sang and I cried. I cried a lot. This scene made me incredibly emotional, and it still got to me as an adult, but the devil is in the details.

Blaze and his arc might work on the surface. They work if you don't pay that close of attention to it. They work if you care more about the characters he's constantly around more than Blaze. And when I first watched Seasons 5&6, I still had a very deep attachment to a lot of these characters, especially Melissa, who he shares a lot of scenes with. So I felt... satisfied? I would've liked more, but I probably wouldn't have complained about what I got (his death scene not withstanding I always thought that was bad).

My my, how the times have changed.

If it wasn't obvious from the four thousand or so words you just read, Blaze is a rather unique case of these writers failing as writers. A rather unique case where the perfect character to fix a lot of problems with their show practically jumped up in the air waving his arms around and they still brushed past him to focus on a predetermined story he was shoved into. I don't think the writers ever really had a plan for where Blaze would go or what he would do.

A lot of Blaze's best character moments are when he isn't being written by Jesson. The reason I love the minigames so much is because there, Blaze's incredibly talented voice actor Jason Lord is actually really funny and pretty good at improv. Obviously some bits of the mini games are scripted, but a lot of them are just seeing how much voice actors can get into their characters, which he's fantastic at. A lot of Blaze's funniest moments come from this too, which is great when the writers turn him into a comedy character but the characters voice actor is funnier than they both are and is only a funny character when they don't have direct control of him. Lord is able to bring life to a character who may have been lacking it due to the simultaneously focused and unfocused way the series was written.

Blaze is proof of what happens when writers don't bother to develop their characters beyond the outline. The draft notes for PDH Season 2 said "there's going to be a wolf character who tries to become Alpha and instead stands up for Daniel when he's bullied." and then Blaze was born. The writers gave him some characterization as a treat to make the story work better, and then were done with it then and there. We fleshed him out enough, good character, time to put him in season 5 so people stop criticizing us for not giving Aaron enough friends.

But the problem wasn't a lack of quantity in friends, it was a lack of quality. It was a lack of scenes that let Aaron interact with other characters without Aphmau present. It was a lack of characters to point to that were real emotional connections Aaron had that weren't his last minute family or his girlfriend. It was a lack of attention given to the few characters that could've filled that role. Dante almost filled it in season 2, and Aaron and Garroth could have arguably become closer after everything in season 4, but at that point Aaron's entire arc became centered around Aphmau.

It was the fact that Blaze was one of the few people who ever directly reached out to Aaron and then was never given a scene alone again. It was because the writers wrote too many characters, tried to give the series a more direct focus, and then failed to account for the characters that were dragged along even if they didn't necessarily know what to do with them.

So when Season 6 came around and they decided to make the show super serious no really stop laughing, they needed characters to kill off to up the stakes. It's not like Blaze's character was going anywhere. It's not like they had a plan for him. Nothing was really being lost.

It's not like Blaze was one of the most sincere and dedicated characters in the series. It's not like he had one of the biggest potentials in regards to his relationship with Aphmau or Aaron. It's not like there was time spent proving that he could be a solid pillar of support in both of their lives even under dire circumstances. It's not like he was set up that way through individual scenes where he got to talk to each of them on a personal level. That definitely didn't happen.

TLDR: MyStreet peaked at season 2 and they fumbled the bag with the best chance to make it peak even higher and I'm forever bitter about it. Now get out of my house.

[wintrrliqht]

Eric Bogosian on Chris Rock [1997]

Who's more racist: black people or white people? Black people. You know why? Because black people hate black people, too. Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. ... Every time black people want to have a good time, niggers mess it up. ... Can't keep a disco open more than three weeks. Grand opening? Grand closing. Can't go to a movie the first week it opens. Why? Because niggers are shooting at the screen. ... I know what all you black readers think. ... ''It isn't us, it's the media. The media has distorted our image to make us look bad.'' ... Please. ... When I go to the money machine at night, I'm not looking over my shoulder for the media. I'm looking for niggers. -- from ''Rock This!'' by Chris Rock

A Chris Rock concert is an exorcism by laughter. One of the first pure comedians to emerge in a generation, he makes us laugh not only because of perfect writing, skewed associations and rock-steady timing but also because of pain. The pain of how we've hurt ourselves with race, the pain of being a man, the pain of confusion. This is the flip side of the deep anger curdling the American dream; it is anger transformed into entertainment. Rock knows how far to go, like a crazed uncle who keeps tickling your toes while you beg for mercy.

Discovered by Eddie Murphy, Rock gained fame as a featured player on ''Saturday Night Live'' and ''In Living Color'' in the early 90's. He had a high-profile part in ''New Jack City'' and was a co-producer and star of ''CB4,'' but when ''In Living Color'' went off the air, Rock found himself without a job. So he returned to stand-up, working the clubs, honing his particular brand of streetwise humor. When his HBO comedy special, ''Bring the Pain,'' was broadcast last year -- with its defining routine ''Black People vs. Niggas'' -- it was clear that Rock, 31, was having a comeback.

Now he seems to be everywhere: in commercials for 1-800-Collect, on MTV and his HBO interview show, on a comedy album and in a new book, ''Rock This!'' Still, it is in concert that he is at his whip-cracking best. His influences range from Buster Keaton to Richard Pryor to Sam Kinison; he brings together a vast black and white audience to laugh at some of the most painful truths. In the end, Chris Rock is funny, and that's all that's important. Or is it?

Eric Bogosian: What's the difference between a black audience and a white audience?

Chris Rock: I'll give it to you in musical terms. When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.

Bogosian: How do you know when it is funny? When is the joke finished?

Rock: It's never locked. I mess with it every night. But I really don't improvise that much. I mean, 10 percent of the show is improvised.

Bogosian: What do you do when the audience doesn't get the good stuff?

Rock: I slow down my delivery. The natural thing to do when the show's not going well is to speed it up. Worst thing in the world. Slow it down. Make sure they understand everything you're saying. I'll think, Maybe the abortion bit won't play. But I don't drop that much stuff now.

Bogosian: Do you ever think you stink and they're eating it up?

Rock: I think that all the time. Out of a hundred shows I'll do in a year, I'll think maybe three are great.

Bogosian: Do you ever get angry at the people you work with because they tell you it's a great show and it's not?

Rock: They can't tell. My brothers, Andre and Tony, can tell, my producer, Nelson George, can tell, my sister can tell. Four people in the whole world can see people laughing and still say it's not a good show.

Bogosian: What about anger? You seem to move from mischievousness to malice to outright anger in your show. You talk about the anger of old black men and how they hide it.

Rock: When they're around white people they don't do anything. Then they get really angry when the white man walks away. ''Cracker!''

Bogosian: Young black people don't do that?

Rock: Old black men. These guys rode in the back of the bus. For a long time. And all that went with it. Hard to get rid of that. Someone like me, a lot younger, I didn't go through that.

Bogosian: I'm angry at everybody and I don't even need a reason. If I were black. ...

Rock: You're not.

Bogosian: No. But I get pulled over every time I get on an airplane. It's the ethnic hair, I think. But you seem angry at blacks, like you're resentful of your own kind. You pick on black behavior a lot.

Rock: I pick on ignorance. Anyone who thinks it's cool to be stupid.

Bogosian: There are blacks you are clearly angry at. You used the word ''nigger'' in your HBO show.

Rock: I guess I did.

Bogosian: Your audience is made up of whites, many of whom are happy to hear how lazy or stupid blacks are. You're using the word ''nigger.'' And some of the white audience is saying, ''That's right.''

Rock: Every ethnic group divides itself, criticizes itself. I know gay guys who say ''fag.'' What I said got more attention because it was black people, and we tend to get more attention when we do things.

Bogosian: ''Nigger'' is a heavy-duty word. You better have a good reason for using it.

Rock: It's not that heavy-duty. The thing with ''nigger'' is just that white people are ticked-off because there's something they can't do. That's all it is. ''I'm white, I can do anything in the world. But I can't say that word.'' It's the only thing in the whole world that the average white man cannot use at his discretion.

Bogosian: Your work is full of incisive criticism about the way people act. Is it important to get a message across? Or is it a kind of a cloak you're wearing because it's cool to say loaded stuff?

Rock: Really, really at the end of the day, the only important thing is being funny. I don't go out of my way to be political. My dad drove a newspaper truck. I just read the paper every day as a kid. I was bused to school. My [expletive] was kicked by white kids and I was called ''nigger.'' So I have a point of view. But the most important thing is to be funny.

Bogosian: Paul Reiser is a funny guy and Paul Reiser talks about relationships and it's very funny and it's very sweet and nice. You, on the other hand, are like Loki, you're like the Norse god of mischief who's coming in with that glint in your eye. You talk about Don Rickles a lot.

Rock: Oh, no -- no one's better. No one does a better TV appearance, no one sits down and does a couch better than Rickles.

Bogosian: Yeah, but I remember when Don Rickles broke -- that's how old I am. He used to do all these put-downs, and he looked like he meant it. That was the big thing in the early 60's -- sick comics. You talk about the organ donors who come back from the dead and they don't have any eyes. That's dark. You go after heroes of the black community. Marion Barry, O.J. Simpson. ...

Rock: Hero? O.J.'s picture is not hanging up in my grandmother's kitchen.

Bogosian: Is there such a thing as a black community, really? A welfare mother in Brownsville, a Nigerian selling watches on Fifth Avenue, an upper-middle-class Atlanta suburbanite, a nanny from Jamaica -- what do these people have in common other than skin?

Rock: If it all goes wrong with each one of these people, they'd end up living in the exact same neighborhood. That's reality.

Bogosian: But, I mean, I can't say I belong to the white community. There are plenty of white people who do not for a second include me in their community.

Rock: Automatically you're a community because you're the majority. I mean, it's like your house: you don't have a room in your house, it's your house. You know what I mean? Yes, there is a black community, and we have a room in the white community's house.

l

Bogosian: In this community the message from celebrities in music, on talk shows and in movies seems mixed. There's a lot of talk about family, about God, but there's also a glorification of the street, ''gangsta'' life style. Isn't that kind of schizoid?

Rock: It's about wanting to be accepted where you're from.

Bogosian: But it's like what the racists were saying in the first place -- ''Every young black man is a thug'' has become a cool idea. It's being promoted.

Rock: It's about acceptance at home. I'm always thinking, What happens if I had to go home, had to move back to Bed-Stuy? I'd want to be accepted. People think you're gonna flip out and come all show business and not talk to 'em. People get the big entourage and all and isolate themselves.

Bogosian: You might want that some day. Wasn't your grandfather a preacher?

Rock: My grandfather, who actually just passed, was a preacher. I would watch him and I would listen to stuff: Dr. King, you know, Malcolm X, Kennedy. 'Cause I just looked at it as kind of the same thing as I was trying to do, but without punch lines. I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

Bogosian: Is there a different kind of intelligence needed for comedy?

Rock: I'm not a smart guy. I dropped out of high school, I've read 10, 11 books in my life. ...

Bogosian: But that isn't what smart is.

Rock: Smart's knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. Put it this way, the inability to get a joke is the first sign of ignorance. Like when you tell a joke about a guy and he gets mad at you? That's a dumb guy.

Bogosian: Adolf Hitler had no sense of humor. Newt Gingrich. Humorless.

Rock: In show business, comedians are the smartest guys.

Bogosian: Well, you know what, Chris, you and I are like in parallel universes, and there's a lot of similarities ----.

Rock: No, I've watched your stuff, I'm not -- I do what a lot of the old white musicians did and watched all the black guys. I watch everybody's stuff, man.

Bogosian: Well, what I do is push people's buttons or get people shocked. And then I got some reviews a few years ago saying I wasn't shocking enough. So now, here's the new nasty kid with this razor-blade intellect ----.

Rock: Me? Razor-blade intellect? I had a 14 in math one time.

Bogosian: That's O.K. Look, I had seven study halls a day when I was in high school.

Rock: Fourteen, man. My mother laughed at the grade. If it was, like, in the middle of the 50's, she would have got mad. Fourteen was, like, this is hysterical.

Bogosian: Is there such a thing as a dumb successful comedian?

Rock: Well, yeah. They're not dumb, they're like Amadeus. Savants.

Bogosian: Like Gilbert Gottfried?

Rock: No, Gilbert's brilliant. I won't name names, but there's some guys, very successful. And you can overcome a lot of handicaps if you're willing to bust your [expletive].

Bogosian: You like to work really hard.

Rock: It's like boxing -- if you don't train, you're going to get the [expletive] kicked out of you. It's not like, you know, if you hang out in basketball, ''Oh, he had a bad game, mmm, he was off that night.'' Boxing, you get the [expletive] kicked out of you and you might not get another shot the rest of your life, that's how boxing is.

You know, the only bad thing about stand-up is that in order to work it out, you have to go back all the way to where you started. There's no other way to get good at it. It's like if Schwarzenegger before he does a movie has to go do a competition lifting weights. So I got to go, you know, to the Boston Comedy Club in the middle of the night. It's not, I will do it. I've got to do it. Or else I'm going to get the [expletive] kicked out of me.

Bogosian: So there's, like, this hair-shirt discipline to what you do.

Rock: I like to work at the latest possible hour and just try to get one of the worst possible circumstances. I like to work in front of all-white audiences to start it off, even with the blackest material. Because I know once I get this black joke to work, when I get it in front of a bunch of black people, it's really going to kill. It's kind of like a baseball player swinging two bats on the on-deck circle. I want to work in front of people who would never pay to see me.

Bogosian: What if everything were going the way that you liked -- if all the movies and TV shows had been hits?

Rock: I'd be the worst guy. I wouldn't be funny at all. No, when I was on ''Saturday Night Live'' I was the worst guy. I loved women I had no business being with. She had to look so good that people would go, ''Why's she [expletive] him?'' And guys would want to fight me. I didn't know how to handle any money. I made 90 grand my first year, so I bought a $40,000 car. Kind of stupid.

Bogosian: But no drugs.

Rock: Nah. I might as well have been drugged, though.

Bogosian: So what's next?

Rock: I'd like to write and direct a movie for myself. Now that I've achieved my greatest success just doing stand-up comedy, which is, like, the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect, I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. You know, I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.

Bogosian: Is it going to happen in a movie?

Rock: No, it can happen in concert. Richard Pryor did his best work in concert.

Bogosian: Everybody says that Richard Pryor is the big influence.

Rock: Yeah, and that's the best-written comedy you've ever seen. Most every comedian probably, except for Woody, did his best work as a stand-up. And Woody was a great stand-up. Cosby's got the biggest show in the world, whatever, but his best work was stand-up. I mean, you can achieve greatness in comedy, you just have to realize that the critical masses just don't view comedy as great. I think Eddie Murphy should have gotten nominated for an Oscar for ''Nutty Professor,'' just on the performance.

Bogosian: You're not the first person to say that.

Rock: He played five or six people -- incredible, incredible, incredible. If he did that in a movie that had something to do with death or AIDS or something, he'd get nominated in a second.

Bogosian: So the millions are piling up. When will you be buying your Malibu cottage?

Rock: I live in Brooklyn and actually like living in Brooklyn. It's different between New York and L.A. People in New York are proud of what they do, no matter what the hell they do. In L.A., it's just a routine. No one's proud, everybody's like: ''This is what I'm doing now. Yeah, no, I'm a doctor, but I'm just doing that right now. I wrote a script, and me and the other physicians are shopping around.'' Everybody wants to be in show business.

New York's the best place in the world. You know what I love? It's like the garbage men will have a dance, and they'll rent out a big place, and it's cool. My brother Andre drives a truck. In L.A. you wouldn't want to say you drive a truck probably. My brother Andre is, like, the most proud truck driver you ever met in your life. He walks in a room and goes: ''See that coffee cup right there? A truck bought it to you. Everything in here. People talk about computers going to change everything. Hey! You got to get the computer. Who's going to get it to you? Me. The guy with the truck.''

Bogosian: Is this a routine or ----.

Rock: No. It's just my brother Andre.

Eric Bogosian is a playwright and actor. His new play

[littlemisstfc]

What Transformers Earthspark Teaches About Abuse:

TW: I will be discussing the topic of abuse, specifically how abuse is treated in Transformers media. If you’re sensitive to this topic, I highly encourage you to skip out on this post. Take care of yourself and stay safe. 

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233

National Hotlines: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

Hello, Hola, こんにちは。

Welcome back to this side of the Hundred Acre Woods, and we’re back back back again with another Transformers writing. I was just randomly hanging out in my college’s LGBTQ+ space, eating my Hot Cheetos and enjoying the H2O in my Hello Kitty hydro, when I began to have thoughts about Earthspark again. If you know me by now, you know that I adore Transformers Earthspark. Easy 9/10, among the top five best Transformers shows if all well goes according to plan. Like Cyberverse, it aims to subvert the Transformers formula through putting a fresh new coat of paint onto various Transformers tropes as well as bringing new and interesting characters and concepts to the table. When it comes to the former aspect of Earthspark, there is one trope that is not only brilliantly deconstructed, but is also treated with the respect and grace it should have from the beginning. As to what this trope is, let’s start with everyone’s favorite evil twink girlfailure: Starscream.

So…

The 21st century has not been kind to our skrunkly king. Sure, from the beginning, he is designed to be the ultimate girlfailure of Transformers. He’s cunning and sneaky, but his plans go easily astray because of his arrogance and ego getting in the way. It also doesn’t help that he’s often Megatron’s favorite punching bag whenever his plans to overthrow him go wrong. It’s a pure hate filled relationship that is dark comedy galore…if you approach it with the right angle. Part of the reason why TFA Starscream’s hate relationship with Megatron works is that Starscream doesn’t take Megatron’s crap at all. He will fight back, and it feels right whenever he has the upper hand over ol buckethead. Sure, their relationship is quite odd when you think about it. However, their dynamic is compelling as well as being like I said, dark comedy galore.

Then, Transformers Prime came in and proceeded to make it all so horribly wrong. Like I mentioned in my TFP essay, TFP Starscream deserves so much fucking better. Megatron’s treatment of him is just downright despicable. True, Screamer ain’t no saint and he only has himself to blame for his flaws and behavior. But…I’m sorry, the way Megatron speaks to him and how he gets so physically aggressive towards him is neither funny nor justified. It’s uncomfortable to see him reduce Starscream to a whimpering and fearful mess whenever the latter fucks up royally. Is this really what the showrunners think is good for the audience at home? Even if you see nothing wrong with it, you cannot deny how depressing it feels whenever Starscream and Megatron are on screen together. By having Screamer be the countless target of abuse throughout the show, it only made me want to help him leave the Decepticons for good.

It also doesn’t help that in RID 2015, Starscream’s vendetta against Megatron is portrayed in a negative light. Nah, fuck this shit. HE DOESN’T OWE FUCKING SHIT TO MEGATRON. He has every right to feel angry and hurt at how Megatron treated him throughout Transformers Prime. Hell, this is why I hate Megatron’s redemption arc in Predacons Rising so fucking much. He was never held accountable for how he treated his second in command, and for that, I only wish the uttermost hell for him. Fuck TFP Megatron. Fucking shark douchebag. 

Same for Transformers Cyberverse. Like I love you, queen, but how Starscream is treated in that show ain’t it. I’ve talked about this aspect in depth in my Cyberverse retrospective video, so feel free to check that out here. 

In a nutshell, there’s an uncomfortable trend of Transformers shows that straight up treats Megatron’s treatment of Starscream with only a slap on the wrist. Like, how does any normal person find any of this acceptable? Just…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

However…then, something miraculous happened in Earthspark. Something that manages to deconstruct this trope on its head by straight up telling the audience: “Nah, we’re not gonna do that treating Megatron abusing Starscream as a joke bullshit. We’re gonna be 100% honest with y’all.”

For context, Transformers Earthspark takes place after the Great War is over. Megatron became a good guy again and Transformers on Earth is a part of everyday life. However, for the Decepticons, many feel very salty about Megatron turning good and becoming mischievous gremlins. This resulted in G.H.O.S.T. imprisoning them in cells, including Starscream. Eventually, in the episode, “What Dwells Within,” Starscream and the Seeker lesbians broke out of prison and went on the run in some catacombs. The Malto kids also got trapped in here, and they had to teamup to escape the caves and a vore monster. When Starscream is being Starscream while trying to escape the vore monster, Twitch and Thrash bring up his flaws and believe that he should go back to Megatron, since they spend time with old buckethead and see him as the changed man we see here. However…then this bombshell drops:

Twitch: “Yeah, you should go back to following Megatron. He wouldn't leave anyone behind like that!" Starscream: “Oh, naïve child. Is locking Decepticons in prison while he walks free not "leaving us behind"? You don't know the real Megatron, the ruthless tyrant who ruled over us with fear and intimidation."

Me:

While the others were distracted by the monster’s growls, we see Hashtag’s expression. Just, the way her entire perspective has changed when Starscream brought up the man Megatron used to be. Mmmmm, LAYERS. A few more monster shenanigans happen and the two of them get stuck together in the control hub. Up to this point, we see how much Megatron’s treatment of him has affected Starscream deeply. Even after being technically free of him…he still remembers that awful time in his life. It also doesn’t help that he is The Starscream, the skrunkly backstabbing mean girl whose entire life goal is to be the leader of the Decepticons. He was never taken seriously and the universe determines that he will not succeed. I highly recommend Comodin Cam’s video on the topic about this if you wanna get into the details. Bottom line is that Starscream doesn’t have the best luck in being himself.

Back to the control hub, it seems like there was gonna be a discussion of Starscream being Starscream. However, to Starscream’s surprise, Hashtag believes him. When she called him out for trying to save his own skin while everyone else is gonna die because of the vore monster, she asks him this question:

“When bad things happen, it isn’t always our fault.”

Since July, I’ve struggled to convey my thoughts about this moment in the episode, especially as someone who has been in Starscream’s place at one point in my life. In Hashtag believing him and being ready to listen to him had the monster not acted a fool, Starscream’s pain and trauma has been validated. For the first in his life, he’s not treated as a joke. Someone realized that he was a victim of abuse and recognizes his feelings, not talking down to him nor trying to argue against it. Hashtag is a young child, but even she recognizes that what Megatron did to Starscream is not okay at all. This resulted in her gaining his trust and loyalty and she even told off Megatron when the latter and Starscream were ready to duke it out. Eventually, the day is saved and both Screamer and the Seeker girlies venture off into the unknown. But before that, he rejected Megatron’s offer of safety and yeah…after a long time of being Megatron’s chew toy, he doesn’t owe shit to Megatron. He has every right to not trust him again, and even though we saw Megatron changing for the better in Earthspark, he has indeed hurt a lot of people. 

Honestly, the bond Hashtag formed with Starscream and how the episode treated Starscream’s trauma with the grace and respect it deserves is a great lesson for kids to learn when it comes to helping out a friend who is in Starscream’s shoes. Hell, it could even teach kids to recognize the signs of abuse in their own homes and seek out the help they need. That’s what I love about Transformers shows like Earthspark: it recognizes that the audience is smart enough to pick up on the clues and details as well as entertaining them.

Transformers Earthspark aims to fix what shows like Transformers Prime has started, and it’s only fitting to have Steve Blum as Starscream here, as if its own way of saying, “We know, folks. Starscream deserves better.”

Conclusion: It's never the victim's fault.

If anything, Earthspark manages to excel in ways that many Transformers shows wishes they can do, especially those in the 2010s. It treats Starscream’s trauma from being The Starscream with the gravity and care it needs, and I appreciate it all the more as time goes on. I highly recommend that y’all watch this show. It has a complex story, likable and enduring characters, great animation, and it breathes new life in Transformers. Most importantly of all, it gave Starscream the justice he deserves, and I hope it stays that way with this incredible show.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Betrayed | Part 2

PAIRING | Male Avengers x Ex-Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.7K

SUMMARY | It has been a few weeks since you found out about the bet the guys placed on Steve taking your virginity. You haven't been back to the Compound since, but now that you're back you will not hesitate to make life absolute hell for each and every one of the guys who were involved.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Major angst, swearing, Reader getting revenge, and telekinesis are used for some interesting forms of revenge, someone gets choked a little bit, someone loses something near and dear to their heart, someone breaks a few fingers, and someone is put through literal hell again.

A/N | This is the follow-up to my request called Betrayed, which received a lot of love! If you haven't checked that one out already, I'd highly recommend you do it! If you would like to request something, please don't hesitate, I love writing requests for you all! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist

You haven't been back at the Compound for a few weeks, especially after what happened when you found out about the bet the guys placed. They may have killed your dream career of being an Avenger now, but that doesn't mean you won't be out of their lives, and they will not forget it, you will make sure of that. You still needed to pick up your stuff from your bedroom, so you decided today would be the perfect day to get some of your stuff, and maybe play with the boys a little bit. They played with you first, after all. And you didn't have to wait long to have your first interaction. Right as you walked in, you saw none other than the golden boy himself, Steven Grant Rogers.

You decided to have a little fun with him now that you have your telekinesis better under control than last time. Without saying anything you stopped him from walking and pulling him towards you, making sure he couldn't go anywhere and he had to face you. ''What the-'' is all he said as he felt like ropes were being put around him, but he didn't see anything, yet he was still moved, and as soon as he turned around, his eyes turned wide with pure, unadulterated shock. You were back, and hungry for revenge after the stunt they pulled on you. ''What, don't have anything smart to say this time, Rogers?'' you snickered at him, having way too much fun with the way he's squirming in your grip.

''Y/N, please, let me go,'' he said with a stern voice, which only made you laugh. ''You seriously think I'm going to listen to you now? After you ruined my fucking life?! You should start doing stand-up comedy Rogers, you're too funny,'' you said, letting out a fake laugh. ''You don't even know how much you ruined my life, do you?'' you asked, tilting your head as you looked at him with a smirk. ''I- I'm sorry,'' is all he said, before dropping his eyes and trying to get out of the hold you have on him. ''Sorry isn't enough, hell, nothing will ever be enough to make up for the fact that you accepted a fucking bet to take my virginity. You honestly made me feel special - which in all fairness, is also on me, I should've known better than that - and took one of the most precious things in my life away from me, just like that. I didn't think you of all people would be capable of hurting someone like that. Guess I was wrong,'' you sighed.

When you held your little monologue you slowly stepped closer to him, and when you were right in his face you practically spat the words out, before actually spitting in his face. God, you hated him to his core for the games he played with you, and this wasn't even the beginning of what you could do to him. You started squeezing a little tighter while squeezing around his throat like a boa constrictor too. You were enjoying this way more than you should, but it felt good to finally be able to hurt him like he did to you, even if it was just a fraction of the hurt you felt. When you saw Steve's eyes roll back in his head showing he was about to pass out, you quickly released him and he was gasping for air while clawing at the floor, trying to hold on to anything the could get a hold on.

You didn't care and stepped right over him, letting him figure his shit out alone. You were on your way to your next victim, a certain archer under the name of Clint Barton, or Hawkeye, as the public knows him. You don't have to look very long, as he is in his training room shooting arrows. He just released an arrow and without a problem, you stopped that same arrow mid-air, making him snap his head around to where you're standing. ''Surprised to see me, Barton? It was only a matter of time before I would show up, now wasn't it? Especially since you were part of making my life a living hell,'' you said, your voice deepening at the last part of the sentence. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish, he didn't know what to say. You slammed him into the wall behind him with your hands in your pockets, and he fell to the floor like a ragdoll.

''Not so powerful without your little bow and arrows are you? I can't believe how much of a pathetic piece of shit you are,'' you spat at him while you broke his bow and all of his arrows with a flick of your hand. Not only did you get your telekinesis under control, you learned different ways of using your powers too. ''N-No! Not my bow!'' he said, he was attached to it since he used the same one ever since he learned archery. You snap it a few times for good measure, to ensure he would never be able to use it again. ''Stay out of my way from now on, and Laura and the kids will be safe,'' you said as a warning before physically stepping on his bow one last time, reveling in the crunch it made under your boot. ''God, I could listen to that sound forever,'' you said with a smirk as you turned around, leaving Clint laying on the floor with tears streaming down his face.

Finding Tony wasn't all that hard, since he was working in his lab most of the time, and today wasn't an exception to that rule. You didn't even try to hide the fact that you were looking for him, and Tony acted like he didn't care you were there, but he would care very soon. All you did was put up a little display of a fantasy of yours, where Pepper and Morgan were tied up, unable to move and they were gagged, so they wouldn't be able to scream for help. ''What the fuck did you do to my family, Y/L/N?'' he asked as his eyes quickly went up to the screen. ''Who, me? Don't you think it's rude to ask that seeing how you were a part of the bet that hurt me? That ruined my fucking life?!'' your words were laced with nothing but pure venom.

''Seriously, you're acting like a crazy bitch because we had a bet? I always knew you were unstable,'' Tony scoffed, but you could see the hurt in his eyes. He was wondering if what he saw was real or not. ''I may be unstable, but at least I don't spend every single hour stashed away in here tinkering with god knows what when you have a beautiful wife and daughter at home,'' you said laughing. ''I wonder how they're doing, I think I'm going to pay them a little visit to make sure they still remember me,'' you said as you stepped closer, your eyes honing in on the device in his chest. ''But I think I may have a better way of hurting them,'' is all you said before you turned the device in Tony's chest off with a single flick of your finger.

Since this was still keeping the shrapnel away from his heart when it was on, you could see him squirm as he was working to get it turned back on, to no avail. ''Y/N, please don't do this,'' he begged, but you wanted to see him suffer a little more. The best way you knew how to do that, was to tinker with his iron man suit a little bit, and you crossed a few wires here and there, took out some of the hardware, and smacked the suit against the walls a few times for good measure. Right at that moment Tony was practically begging on his knees for you to stop, and you finally caved. You didn't plan on killing the man, so you turned the device back on so he would continue to live.

''Don't think for a single fucking second I won't keep it off the next time, Stark. Honestly, I never thought I would enjoy seeing you on your knees begging me so much, I think I might have you beg just a little longer,'' you said as you continued to ruin things around his lab, things that were near and dear to his heart. ''Please, please stop, I will do anything if you just stop,'' he said with tears streaming down his face, making you laugh maniacally. ''Pathetic asshole,'' is the last thing you said before stomping on his hand, effectively breaking all his fingers so he wouldn't be able to do anything for a long time. It felt good to hurt him like that, you were starting to feel a lot better now.

''Only one left now is Barnes, you don't happen to know where he is, do you?'' you asked with a sweet voice as if you didn't just break his fingers. ''Gym,'' is all he managed to get out before you turned around. You walked into a straight line to the gym to meet Bucky, and you swing open the door, startling the super soldier as he meets your gaze in the mirror in front of him. ''You're back,'' he whispers as he sees you, and you just laugh at him. ''Yeah, I am. And you're going to regret ever getting out of the claws of HYDRA,'' you say before using your mind control on him. You let him relive every single bad memory he ever made.

He sinks to his knees and he puts his hands over his ears, trying to drown out the noise in his head as you let him relive his worst nightmares, only 10 times worse. He starts squirming on the floor as you keep going, and you make a high-pitched noise go through his head too. ''S-STOP!'' is all he can mutter over and over, but you don't want to. When you eventually do stop, you see that there is nothing left of the man he was before you came in, and you're feeling good about it. ''That's what you get for being best friends with the man who ruined my fucking life, you dick,'' you said before turning around and grabbing your stuff from your bedroom. You were glad you finally got your revenge, and it felt damn good to finally have inner peace.

[confused-rat]

My problem has never really been that Lily wrote Stockholm, if Lily had actually said “yeah, I wrote a cringe dark fic when I was younger and regret it now” that would have been it.

But that’s not what she did. Lily lied, multiple times, about her connection to Stockholm, its contents, it’s origin—and then she used those lies to make her critics look fucking unhinged, even though she was lying through her fucking teeth.

Never forget that there was a time Lily denied writing Stockholm and said people were actually editing her voice lines to falsify a confession. This is pure, unhinged manipulation and gaslighting. Innocent people don’t fucking do this.

The only claims about Stockholm that have proven to be false are the ones from Lily’s own lips.

It’s not a black comedy, it’s not a trauma response, it’s not a hate piece to enrage gross bronies, it’s not a misinformed dig at her Scars fic, it hasn’t been heavily edited by her haters, it’s not a fic that was actually written by somebody else entirely—it’s a cringe fic Lily wrote and openly calls CP herself.

These aren’t the actions of someone getting unfairly railed for an embarrassing fic they regret writing now, these are the actions of a manipulator who refuses to take accountability.

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

I mean yeah voice actors voices are hot but also like in appearance

Corey Burton is a cutie

You know what, that's valid

You must go on a vision quest to see what the MCU is blind to (and by that I mean go find one (1) weird indie movie youve never heard of and watch the whole thing). Then you will be cleaned of your corporate media sins (/lh)

Oh good, I get to talk about this dumbass show (beloved)

RiD 01 as a whole is a SILLY fuckin show. Like they took the sillygoofy nature of g1 and went "bet," then cranked it 10 times higher. G1 still had its somber moments. Character work. Genuinely threatening and downright cruel villains. RiD 01 has occasional complex characters, but 90% of the time, this show is a fairly low-stakes comedy that's going full camp.

The autobots are dysfunctional and just straight up weird. Three of them are brothers, and it's not a trio anyone would EVER expect. Prowl is a fucking narc. Brawn is here but he's named X-Brawn bc I guess he had to get that Xtreme rebrand for the 2000s. He's also closer to Ironhide than anything, complete with the Texas accent. Their other brother is named Sideburn, he's the bumblebee equivalent as the Designated Kid Appeal Character, but he's also, and I shit you not, a sex pest about red sports cars. Not just bots with sports car alts. Any red sports car. He will drop everything to go chase a sexy red car and he catcalls it the whole time. The TFA constructicons have NOTHING on this guy. He gets so aggressively horny on main his narc-ass cop brother has to arrest him for it.

Optimus is here, and he's got his own family trouble. He has a brother too, and it's fucking Ultra Magnus. Magnus hates his guts because OP got chosen as Autobot leader and he didn't. At one point they find a cache of blank protoforms, Megatron gets to it first, and has one of them scan both himself and Optimus when he comes online, which results in Scourge, my lameass emo boyfriend i was defending through the whole Scourge War. He's literally just, like, Their Kid and he fucking hates his autobot dad so he lives with Megatron instead to try and make him proud of how Evil and Competent he is.

Megatron has like. Too many altmodes. Just too many. One of them sort of kind of counts as a sports car, that is partially red, Sideburn gets horny about it. Finding out it was Megatron did not stop him for asking for a date. Canon bisexual before IDW, even in the English dub.

The main villains serving Megatron are the predacons and they're about as threatening as team rocket and roughly half as competent. One of them is a squirrel voiced by Steve Blum. The second in command is SkyByte and he's so fucking bad at being evil. He writes poetry (which Optimus roasts the shit out of). He takes online personality quizzes and then gets legitimately upset if he doesn't get the results he wants. This was the plot of an entire episode. He has a crush on Megatron and fantasizes about doing a good job for him. He doesn't like scourge because he thinks he's Meg's new favorite. He does circus tricks on command. He has a soft spot for kids and he was so nice to them while actively trying to be evil that he ended up with a fanbase in-universe that followed him around and encouraged him to be a good guy. He is the EPITOME of a skrunkly little loser boyfailure AND he's a shark. What more could you ask for.

This is not even a quarter of the insane shit that happens in this show. It has NO chill, ever. If you want to see pure, unbridled chaos from robots that are usually at least a little more serious and intense, I literally cannot rec it enough. A lot of hot robots too, tbh. The things id do to Midnight Express...

Beeussy