#I hate this poser so much and I want him so badly

[blowflyfag]

Wrestling World presents Wrestling Maniacs: JUNE 1999

UNDERSTANDING RAVEN

In his journey to find his inner peace, Raven must be allowed to expand. He must be as outrageous as he has to be. He must be extreme. And above all he must be accepted for who he is–a man plagued by personal demons who takes it out on his opponents!

By P.S. LaRue

RAVEN is extreme in thought and action. If allowed to, Raven could make the NWO look tame. But Raven is sinking into a depression so deep that he may not be able to come back. 

“WCW doesn’t understand Raven,” said one ECW insider. “He doesn’t respond to rules and he hates any type of authority. He won’t fulfill his true potential anywhere but ECW where Raven can be as complex as he needs to be.”

Complexity is what Raven is all about. He has sides and angles that contradict; and this inner dispute governs him in a way that no organization (wrestling or otherwise) ever could. 

Fans can remember Raven (Scotty Levy) from his other wrestling personalities: Scotty The Body, Scotty Flamingo, and Scott Anthony. As Raven, Scott has integrated his own life with a magnetism that has grown over years of adversity. Raven is Scotty’s most extreme personality. 

Scotty Levy began his career in 1988 in the Pacific Northwest as Scotty THe Body. With his good looks and growing skill in the ring, Scotty hoped to be a headliner. He had worked hard to build a body that would get him noticed. Scotty was a hit. In only three years, Scotty had held all the major titles and he thought it was time to move on. 

The career had given him the love and acceptance which he had not yet experienced in life, and Scotty wanted more. 

Scotty Flamingo was born in the WCW. Scott Anthony, in the USWA. With his devotion to duty, his inner strength and his desire to learn, Scotty did his best to keep it all together. But he wasn’t feeling the warmth that he had in the beginning. Scotty needed more than he was getting and he had to move again. 

Then came Johnny Polo. During the WWF days, Scotty tried his hand as a manager and (with exception to his choice of accessories) tried to imitate Jim Cornette. It didn’t work as well as planned but Scotty won some time in the production room. His education continued, but behind the scenes Scotty felt only coldness. It was time to reach out once more for what he needed. 

[Raven’s sad, if not morbid, poetic messages are a mixture of his struggles and his delight in taking the unpopular side of an issue.]

But as Raven, Scott has pulled together a combination of fantasy and fact that could rival any of the great personalities of the past. His sad, if not morbid, poetic messages are a mixture of his struggles and his delight in taking the unpopular side of an issue. Not unlike a young Kevin Sullivan, those messages draw the fans into a world totally different from their own. Kevin apple of the devil. Raven speaks of personal demons. He speaks of an unhappy childhood and the pain of betrayal. Although many of us cannot relate to Raven’s words; we can relate to his pain. Larry Zbyszko claims Raven just blames everyone else for what has happened to him, that Raven points his finger in shame. But Raven is to all the neglected and abused children a type of anti-hero. He may not be a face (Good-guy in the ring) but he is still someone to look up to, someone who will speak out about the horrors of the past. That will make Raven the man of the masses. But we, the fans, have to understand where Raven has been and where he hopes to go. In his journey to find his inner peace, Raven must be allowed to expand. He must be as outrageous as he has to be. He must be extreme. And above all he must be accepted for who he is. 

At his best, Raven has abundant physical vitality and he doesn’t hesitate to use it. He is forceful. He is hard-hitting. He can wear out his opponents with his tireless endurance. Raven simply overwhelms. His erratic and explosive independence can drive some people away; but when Raven has a vision of how things should be, he goes after that vision. Sometimes that vision is a tidal wave and goes over his head so Raven needs someone to keep him focused in reality. But not to clip his wings. 

Having a sensitive side to him, Scotty can feel imposed on emotionally. Maybe this is why he tends to select underdogs as his friends. The Flock is a good example. 

When Raven and Stevie Richards first showed up in WCW, Raven saw several young athletes who were being sacrificed as glorified jobbers. He sat ringside for weeks as he studied these men. As Raven constructed his plans to help others; the Flock took shape. 

[Raven tends to select underdogs as his friends and The Flock was a perfect example.]

It was hard work to make WCW notice. The company had replaced Raven’s neglectful parents and he was determined to open WCW’s eyes before they created more disenchanted men like himself. 

[Raven simply overwhelms and his erratic and explosive independence can drive some people away.]

Raven spoke his mind during his interview time. He poured out his tortured soul. But instead of listening and learning from his past, Zbyszko and other announcers accused him of whining. Raven then had to get brutal in defense of his idea. 

Raven became an unforgiving father to the happy-go-lucky Richards. If Stevie doesn’t do his best in a match (through Raven’s eyes) then Stevie has to be punished. Raven would cross over the guard rail. He seemed intense and purposeful as he comes eye to eye with Stevie’s opponent. The crowd expected him to aid his fallen friend. Or at least they thought he would the first time it happened. 

But Raven couldn’t handle Stevie’s loss. And the fans were horrified to see Raven Pull Stevie to his feet and dump him on his head in a painful DDT. Few People understood why Raven did this to someone who was supposed to be his closest friend in the organization; but Raven did it because Stevie is his friend. In psychology  they call it “tough love.” Raven knows tough love better than any other type. 

Raven feels that most people are unsympathetic. So love has become a sacrifice and Raven thinks that pain and suffering go hand in hand with love. Suspicion is the order of the day. But Raven needs love and he can be a very loyal and thoughtful man. The key to this complicated man in understanding. Whether you’re a fan or hoping to become a friend, you must take the time to really know Raven. This is also the advice I give to WCW. 

First Stevie left. Raven understood, It didn’t hurt him too deeply since the Flock was frowning and Raven had other followers to watch over. But last fall when Saturn left the nest and started encouraging the others to strike out on their own, it hurt Raven profoundly. 

Billy Kidman left and shortly afterward he became the Cruiserweight champion. Did he go back and thank Raven for opening the eyes of ECW? No. But would he have been given a shot at the title without being part of the Flock? It’s doubtful. Even his Shooting Star Press couldn’t get Kidman the recognition that he got when he joined the Flock. 

[“What about me?” has been Raven’s motto since he has been abandoned by The Flock.]

“What about me?” has been Raven’s motto. And it’s understandable when Raven has lost all that was once his. Now he spirals downward in a bottomless pit of pain. 

To say that Raven has a death wish isn’t far from the truth these days. Since being abandoned by the Flock, Raven sits in one corner of the ring. His eyes show a sadness; otherwise his face is void of expression. He lets his mind drift out of reality much as he did when he was a child. 

Disassociating himself from the pain as his opponent kicks his legs or taunts him verbally, is his only way to survive. It seems that Raven loses himself for a while then out of nowhere comes a surprise move that floors his opponent. Then a chair is placed in the center of the ring. A drip toe hold lands Raven’s victim on the chair head first. 

[When Raven had The Flock, he had the acceptance and the love he has always craved!]

In the beginning, this move was so awesome. Now Raven sometimes becomes the victim of his own move. It couldn’t have happened when Raven had the Flock. Not just because they could have come to his rescue. When Raven had his Flock, Raven had the acceptance and the love that he craves. He was backed by a feeling of approval. He was not only the leader but a part of the group. By adopting the Flock, Raven had found a home. Now Raven feels alone.

In his mind he regresses back to that painful childhood. Raven feels unwanted and neglected once again. 

It is that the WCW, the fans, and everyone who has a heart to reach out to Raven. He is too sore from the years of abuse to pull himself up. He can’t do it alone. 

[To say that Raven has a death wish isn’t far from the truth these days!]

“What about me?” Raven is asking for help in the only way he can. He may be pouting. He may be rebellious. He may be hurting himself. But Raven is asking for love and acceptance the only way that he knows how. He hasn’t forgotten the early days in the Pacific Northwest. He just can’t remember how to get that esteem back.

Raven wants to be loved for himself. But in that quest he has sunk so deep inside his pain that he no longer shows his lovable side. As he continues to sink he is letting go of all of his other abilities. It is up to the fans to toss Raven a lifesaver. It is time that someone saves Raven from himself. It is time that someone just tries to understand. 

[scumsketches]

I've read like all 4 docs on ao3 about SY and SJ sharing a body, and I'm soooo not normal about this concept oh my God. So, it's time to ramble about my take on the concept, of course.

Most things I have read have SY transmigrate at his usual date, but... What if he didn't? What if he transmigrated when SJ was a child on the streets?

For the purposes of this, the person who has the most control of the body is based around soul strength, willpower, and collaboration between souls.

In the beginning, SY has very low soul strength, since he just straight up died, but being a child, SJ's is not much better. They both have obscene amounts of willpower, see canon. And at the beginning? Oh, SJ does NOT want to collaborate.

SY hasn't really gotten the whole "baby scum villain" thing yet, and thinks his soul has been glued to a particularly annoying street kid, so he tries to be patient with SJ, but it's not easy! Holy shit, this kid is a turbo brat who hates him! He is constantly threatening to exorcize SY! Like, kid, you can't exorcize me, you're eight. But SY does end up being useful at times, pointing out danger, reading signs that SJ can't, using his adult knowledge to help him as best he can. By the time they get to the Qiu manor, SJ grudgingly trusts and is maybe attached to his weird ghost hanger-on.

And then the Qiu manor hits. It's... Bad. Really bad. Qi-Ge is gone, hopefully to come back to them someday, but someday is not now, and they need to survive the day. Shen Yuan can't get over the fact that this is just a kid, that all of this is happening to a child. He is an adult, maybe he's not the most responsible adult, or the best person to handle this situation, but damn it SY has to do something.

The first time Shen Yuan takes over completely, it's during a beating in the first week. Before, even if SY had some control of the body, SJ was usually able to yank it back at least partially when he wanted to. He was aware of what was going on. But this time, Shen Jiu feels the first few strikes hit his back before Shen Yuan bubbles up, wrapping around him and pulling him down into blissful oblivion.

When Shen Jiu wakes up, it's over, and Shen Yuan is using some meager supplies he got from god knows where to tend to their wounds. Shen Jiu is scared, he didn't know Shen Yuan could take over that completely, but he's also... Relieved. And confused.

"Why did you take over then? If you really could steal my body, why didn't you do it earlier?"

"You didn't deserve that, Shen Jiu. I- how could I see that and not try and help? Not try and protect you?"

Shen Jiu froze. And then, slowly, started crying. Almost immediately SY starts fussing, asking if their wounds hurt too badly, if he needs him to dull the pain more. SJ sniffles, wiping his eyes, and asks; "More?"

Shen Yuan never explains that, but as SJ goes through the Qiu manor, he realizes that he is absolutely not in as much pain as he really should be. It's easier to bear when the pain is shared between the two of them.

The first time that Qiu Jianluo realizes something is off is during one of his lessons. As the brush is placed in Shen Jiu's hands, the angry, venomous child behind a mask of fear fades away, and he is instead facing calm indifference. The characters are perfect, every one of them, even the ones which there is no possible way Shen Jiu should have been able to know.

This pattern continues. Shen Jiu knows things he shouldn't. He is abnormally good at talking circles around guards and other servants, confusing and manipulating them enough to evade Qiu Jianluos summons in ways that couldn't possibly be his fault, orchestrating many of their confrontations with Qiu Haitang around as protection.

Shen Jiu is a good actor, he's smart, he's quick, but he isn't a fully grown adult master poser like our Shen Yuan is. Shen Yuan, number one rules lawyer and actor, is incredibly good at driving Qiu Jianluo up the wall without him being able to retaliate, and when he does manage to get in a beating, SJ/SY is not nearly as responsive to the pain as he should be, and heals faster than he should.

This is because the lovely new flowers that Qiu Haitang has planted in the garden at SJs kind suggestion are a PIDW plant that provides accelerated healing.

Eventually, it's too much, and Qiu Jianluo KNOWS something is up. He calls a rogue cultivator by the name of Wu Yanzi in to investigate the problem, and Wu Yanzi finds, and exorcises it. Shen Jiu is terrified and panicked, and Wu Yanzi, who had seen Shen Jiu's high spiritual potential, places Shen Yuan into a spirit trapping pouch and tells Shen Jiu to burn the Qiu manor to the ground and bring him as much money and jewelry as possible if he wants his little ghost back.

So the Qiu Manor burns, and Shen Jiu joins Wu Yanzi, significantly less willingly this time. Qi-Ge is nowhere to be seen, and Shen Yuan isn't there to save him anymore.

Shen Jiu supposes he will have to save himself.

[plusvanity]

Varg always gets very emotional when asked about Euronymous on twitter, basically always answers those questions while ignoring other "on-topic" questions. u can almost see where exactly he's lying by his reaction. it's funny how he claims that he doesn't care abt Euronymous anymore 😭

He had been obsessed about Øystein since the start.

I talked a bit about this in another ask. How Varg seems people is very simple. He practice something called 'splitting'. It's either all good or all bad. 'All good' people can turn to 'All bad' people and vice-versa in no time. Borderlines do the same.

At first, he admired Øystein (this is undeniable), and he wanted to be like him, so much so, that he quickly became envious and frustrated. He saw Øystein as a rival, a danger, someone that by merely breathing was rising Varg's anxiety and stress level, someone whom he had to eliminate one way or another. This is a very primitive mentality, but what else do you except really?

For a pathological narcissist (someone at the high end of the spectrum), everything is a competition, and fury is what fuels them.

You can't blame Øystein for sharing the animosity with Varg towards the end of their 'friendship' because you can tell by how he always presented himself, he was such an insufferable presence in the black metal scene. Incapable of making friends, hostile and a 'poser', he wanted Øystein's position of power, prestige and admiration.

Burning churches was satisfying for a very short while, but as his infantile frustration grew, other thoughts occurred.

Even after he took an innocent man's life, he was not pleased, and the reality is that he will never be. Even dead, even after decades, Øystein holds power over him. Why? Because Varg has a massive inferiority complex. He knows he will never be 'good enough' of a musician, of a men, of a father or of a husband. He hates himself. Deep down, he knows he ruined his life, but he refuses to be in touch with his shame. Why? Because he would collapse so badly, his fantasy about himself would crumble to the ground. Admitting who he really is (as a failure) is mental s*****e. He is miserable inside out (look at how he looks at his age).

He is very reactive and emotional when it comes to Øystein and it's because he knows he's still the dirt under Øystein's shoe.

He can tell he doesn't care as much as he wants to, but the reality is so painfully obvious, it's pathetic.

His biggest achievement is no achievement at all. It's a shame.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

so like….i just read your fics and it said here to come talk to you about all the nerds and you left the one time loop one on a cliffhanger and i need to know how you think pete would’ve gone from there?

but then after reading your bio i found out you like dndads too??? so i’m curious as to if you think the nerds and the teens would be friends (by association ted and the kiddads too) and i’m probably annoying but i’ve got nothing better to do and your writing was good.

hey?? hey anon??? hey anon ur officially my favorite person actually in the entire world becuase you've given me the opportunity to info dump about my two favorite things in the world: hatchetfield and dndads ohhhh my goddd i love you

ALSO!! dw dw dw i will not leave you on that cliff hanger forever the second chapter is in the works BUT i can tell you that pete is certainly not! going! to! handle! this! well!!

(sneak peek of the very specific vibe this poor boy is living through:)

BUT YES YES YES YES GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT A DNDADS NPMD CROSSOVER BECUASE IT'S ALL I THINK ABOUT BECUASE CHRIST IT'D BE SUCH A MESS

for one, stephanie lauter and scary marlowe would hate eachother's guts (given it's pre redemption arc scary), like i love scary to death and i love steph to death but they would reach their most toxic not like other girls heights when interacting and it would be my beloved scary marlowe's fault

steph would compliment her eye liner and scary would call her a poser skater bitch and stephanie would ruin her (and then, much later, once they've made up they'd dye eachother's hair in the bathtub and form a powerful life bond and probably make out at least once but that is for a later date)

ruth WOULD OPENLY AND VERBALLY want to fuck lincoln li wilson, and link WOULD NOT notice, so they would just kinda hang out

(hermie and ruth, however, would make out, they'd have the showmance to end all showmances)

ON THE OTHER OTHER HAND i think pete would infuriate link and i really can't back that opinion up (and, yes, i think in a certain world they could also be best friends) BUT i think pete's specific vibe would get on link's nerves SO BADLY in the way normal sometimes does when things get very intense

HOWEVER! pete and normal would be buddies. pete would not intend to become buddies with normal but normal would drag him into hanging out with an earnest enthusasim pete's cynacism could not break through and they would end up being very theraputic for one another

normal would absolutley try and give grace a shot, he REALLY REALLY would but it WOULD NOT END WELL!!! he would be so so so so fed up with her so so so fast

and i already made a kind of shitty drawing about this that i need to redraw at some point, but im convinced, with every fiber of my being, that richie and taylor swift would have an, at least slightly, toxic and deeply intense relationship based on richie thinking that taylor is the coolest person alive in the entire world the EXACT same way that taylor thinks of himself, and in turn, taylor would think of him as his most trusted sidekick and romantic conquest and they'd play the pocky game together each night -- it's a mess, it's a disaster, they deserve each other, it's a beautiful thing that none of these other teens are touching with a ten foot pole

(and,,, god,,,, every kiddad is murdering ted in cold blood, i love ted but he opens his mouth and a sniper light appears on his forehead)

(THOUGH: i have the entirely unsubstantiated opinion that lark and paul matthews somehow having a bafflingly healthy relationship that would work really well even if it shouldn't.)

[frothingatthemaw]

i see, i respect the maturity in respecting your partner slash best friend's boundaries in that way :). im not the best conversationalist lol but uh.. i guess im the slc punk anon so i can talk a bit about the movie :D

i first saw it a few years ago (maybe three?) when i was super into the punk subculture, going to shows and making my own clothes and everything, and of course i had heard of it since i was into punk, so i decided to watch it. instant classic, i love movies where it feels like an exclusive peek into someone's vibrant and rich life, and all of the interesting people around them.

my favourite characters are sean, mark & heroin bob. sean's just so endearing... his story in the movie fits a lot of the common themes of the stories i tend to like, honestly i'd love a movie just going in on his life. get some more context to the attempted matricide and the homelessness and whatnot. mark's such a strong character, really awesome writing mixed with an awesome performance! he leaves such an impression. he seems like he would be so much fun to hang out with ... i want to be given a tour of all his expensive useless items i love expensive useless items. heroin bob was my #1 favourite before sean was, i think in part because he is so similar to who i was at the time. i was a straight edge punk with issues with mental health and anger and stuff. apart from the straight edge thing, i think we're more similar these days though lol.

id love to hear about your favourite character(s) and why theyre your favourite :D (i think i could guess but ... you know lol)

thank you :] that means a lot nonny!

honestly i wish i had known matthew lillard sooner, or at least have known of his incredible acting and movies. it’s embarrassing to be a fan and known of him from the fnaf movie. like i feel like a matthew lillard fan poser 😭

i agree with everything about what you’ve said with your favs. i’d love a movie on sean! honestly, the gun scene with mark and stevo and bob was terrifying. i understand stevo’s fear in it badly, it always makes me uncomfortable to watch. i see myself in stevo so much through that scene. mark does seem fun though! and, too, i’ve always loved alt culture, at least the fashion aspect. the most i’ve actually looked into deeper things about subculture is the emo one, but it was really fascinating to see a peek of punk stuff!

bob and stevo’s whole relationship does a number on me. i could go on and on about the tragedy for hours. and especially stevo (who is my favorite, you definitely know that lol), who had to find life after bob’s death. the tragedy that is stevo levy makes me feel impossible to explain things. it makes me feel insane. i also think i relate to him a lot, especially how he dealt with things, because of my suspected bpd. i think stevo having the disorder as well explains a lot. his fear of losing bob, his coward ways of not wanting to confront his feelings (maybe because he feels less important or inadequate of having problems because of where he comes from, yk being a rich boy who took prelaw), his burst of anger onto bob about things because he didn’t address them sooner so he just exploded, the attachment to bob even to begin with (definitely his favorite person, which is shown by his breakdown at his dead body and saying he doesn’t have anymore friends depsite having others in his life), having trouble connecting because he feels his emotions are different to others (bpd and having emotions be 0 or 100, the black and white thinking), and adding upon the black and white thinking, how he went from being so wrapped up in punk stuff to hating it. i think it all explains a lot. but this is just scratching the surface! i love stevo so much and he’ll forever have a place in my heart, my special fucked up boy

and! did you hear that in another movie (fat kid rules the world), in some deleted scenes, matthew plays stevo and he’s a high school counselor instead of becoming a lawyer like at the end of slc punk. i have so many thoughts on this and it’s been plaguing my brain for the last few days. the brainworms have taken over

[silkscream]

Not original request.... I know but I've been thinking about this scenario for a looong while. Let's say reader dislikes Spiderman for sooome reason? Ummm and reader is besties buddies chums pals with Peter and she expresses her dislikes all the time, like he's a poser, he's not a real hero blah blah blah. (bc of this peter doesn't want reader to find out his real identity!) One day somehow somewhere reader finds out our dear Peter is spidey. Reader is kinda upset bro,,, hmmm why tho? Let's see why, flashback! An accident, spiderman was there, reader was there, reader was injured badly but survived, all without spideys help. Is this too much? U can ignore or change it i dont mind, i just wanted to tell this idea to someone since i cannot write 🐸thank u

ty for your idea!!! here it is for u bb

Speaking Terms

pairing: peter parker x reader

genres: (one-sided) enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, angst and fluff

warnings: language, vomiting, alcohol use, making out, unedited

summary: you hate spider-man but you love peter parker. what happens when your worlds collide?

wc: 6k (this was going to be short but alas...)

Peter’s swinging through the city, as a Spiderman does, except it’s rush hour during Tuesday and he promised Aunt May that he’d pick up a few things from the grocery store. Happy was coming over for dinner and although Aunt May was notorious for some subpar cooking, the woman knew how to make a mean spaghetti dish, at least. This is why, at the moment, Peter was swinging through the city with a baguette in one hand, flying through florist kiosks and on the tops of halal carts.

You roll your eyes at the sight of him. Having Spiderman as New York City’s mascot wasn’t as fun as you’d think… at least in your opinion. You considered the hero pompous and obnoxious, annoyed by his popularity like the way you would feel about an earnest football quarterback or valedictorian.

The red-suited spider-human nearly hits you on his way. You flinch, causing one of your earbuds to pop out of your ear. Great, I can’t have one walk home without Spiderman interrupting my SZA session.

“Sorry! ‘Scuse me! My bad! Oh hey, cool shirt, I love Star Wars... OOF—“

You try not to laugh but it’s irresistible. Peter plops right into a pole, sliding down with cartoon-esque gravity.

“Try not to get squashed, Web-head!” you call after him.

Peter shakes his head like an etch-a-sketch and turns to you, waving sheepishly with the baguette.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

___

“Peter, how are you a fucking Avenger, and yet there are so many Tiktoks of you like this?”

The boy turns towards MJ and peers at her phone screen. He groans at the sight of it and wipes his face with his hand. That god-awful Tiktok song with its high-pitched “oh no!” loops over footage of Spiderman swinging right into a pole. Peter softens slightly when he notices your figure in the video.

“Oh, shit, that’s Y/N!” MJ points. Ned gestures for the phone and examines.

“Dude, when are you gonna tell her?” Ned urges Peter. Peter sighs, knowing full well that his friendship with you would be a whole lot easier if you knew about his secret identity, especially considering how close you were getting. Not to mention you were the only one in the group who didn’t know.

“Tell who what? Is it me? Is someone waiting to confess their undying love for me?”

Peter’s head whips around and meets you with a crinkly-eyed smile. You reciprocate it and set your lunch tray across from his.

“Yeah, that and somethin’ else too,” MJ mumbles to herself. She glares at Peter when she feels his black Van sneaker kick her in the shin. In response, she returns the kick, but three times harder, making Peter verbally yelp in his seat.

“Are you guys good?” you frown, raising an eyebrow.

“Peter’s being shy today! You know how he is,” Ned teases. He pokes Peter in the ribs much to his dismay.

“No, everyone at this lunch table has decided to have it out for me, apparently,” mumbles Peter. “Y/N is the only one here who’s actually nice to me.”

You snort. You wouldn’t admit to anyone else (except maybe Michelle, who knows everyone’s business before they can find out, just by observation), but Peter is probably your favorite person at Midtown High. Your small crush on him since last year only grew exponentially over time and would fluctuate drastically once you started hanging out with him, Ned, and MJ.

Ned laughs at his phone and you glance over his shoulder. A red and blue blur flies through the air between the skyscrapers.

“Oh, hey, I was there when he ran into that pole. Idiot,” you muse. “God, it was hilarious.”

“Yeah, shit’s been trending all over TikTok,” MJ quips.

“I seriously don’t get everyone’s obsession with him.”

“Well… he is a superhero,” Peter tries, shrugging. He feels as though his attempts at being casual are futile. He tries not to make it seem like Spiderman is an awkward subject for him, but you notice he always shifts in his seat when you rant about the masked vigilante.

“Yeah? One out of a dozen. And all they do is fuck up the city as if we aren’t already suffering from horrible infrastructure.”

“Well, Mr. Stark is actually really philanthropic—“ You cut Peter off.

“He’s the worst of them! His whole company is weird and capitalistic and the fact that everyone is so obsessed with him and Spiderman just proves that no one gives a fuck about how the Avengers are essentially no better than our own military. Our country is the one breeding terrorists and now we have some dudes parading in leotards helping the government make nuclear weapons.”

The table goes silent. You sigh heavily, hating to be the outlier because you know your friends are rather fond of Spiderman. You know that Peter interns for Tony Stark, but your dislike for superheroes in general manifests itself in an ugly way sometimes.

“Jeez, I thought I was the buzzkill,” MJ attempts, trying to clear the air with her sarcastic humor. You roll your eyes.

“Sorry for talking shit about your boss.” You flash Peter a small, apologetic smile. He returns it, tight-lipped with pinkish cheeks. He shrugs.

“Nah, everything you said was pretty valid. I just don’t get what the problem with Spiderman specifically is, though.”

“Yeah! He’s just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman! Just some guy,” Ned chimes in.

“Yes, just some guy. Nothing special,” you retort. You lock eyes with Peter and swear you see a glint of melancholy in his brown eyes.

__

You and Peter Parker are friends. This is a mantra you have to tell yourself repeatedly. Especially now at this moment, considering you’re at a party watching Liz Allan kiss him square on the lips. You’ve decided now that your little crush is over and was never sustainable in the first place. Instead, you blame your drunken state for your bad mood. Not them. Everything was perfectly fine in your world. At least until you’re able to stuff your tears into your pillow when you get home.

When Peter pulls away from Liz, his eyes flash at you. You can’t fathom the look on his face, wondering if what he feels is pity or guilt. You smile at him, glassy-eyed and grim, before turning your heels to find MJ and another red solo cup to fill at the keg. You sigh a breath of relief once you find her on the patio outside.

“You okay? You look like you just saw a ghost,” MJ says, twirling the straw in her cup.

“Nope, just Liz making out with Parker.”

“No fucking way! Did he cream his pants?” MJ asks with her mouth agape. You shrug nonchalantly and mumble something incoherent. Her eyes soften at you. “You don’t still have a crush on him, do you?”

“No,” you scoff. She looks at you knowingly. You’ve always been a bad liar — it was Michelle who found out about your feelings anyway just by guessing. You weren’t intending to fall asleep with Peter in his hotel bed on the Washington D.C. trip, but you did. And it didn’t help that that had happened another time at Peter’s after a movie marathon. No, it was fine. Liz Allan wasn’t the most popular girl in school for no reason.

“How much did you have to drink?” Michelle cocked an eyebrow.

“Enough. I think I’m gonna head home,” you murmur, downing the rest of your cup.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, no! I need to walk alone. I’ve been feeling weird all night.” Your voice is small and you’re not exactly lying, so MJ simply nods and gives you a soft smile back.

__

You’re only a couple blocks away from your apartment before you hear whistles from around the alley. Inside your denim jacket, you grip the Swiss army knife that your dad had gifted you last Christmas.

“Look at those legs, mama!”

Your hands are digging into your pockets as you walk faster, not bothering to look behind you.

“Hey, baby, where ya goin’?” Two men block your path. They’re probably twenty years your senior, one sporting a goatee and the other with a five o’clock shadow. Their devilish Cheshire-grins make you shiver, or maybe it’s the wind.

“Fuck off,” you mutter. There’s nowhere to go with them blocking the sidewalk, and for once in all of history, the street you’re on is completely empty. Of fucking course.

“You look lonely, babes, wanna hang out with us?” one of them sneers at you. You shake your head and try to keep your face stoic and hard.

“Don’t tease her, Kenny, she doesn’t seem like much of a talker!” roars one of the men. He looks like an older, uglier version of Robert Pattinson in Good Time. You scan him up and down. You’re supposed to remember as many details as you can about your kidnapper, right? You try to memorize his blue eyes and red Carhartt beanie before his buddy speaks up.

“I know something that’ll loosen her up.”

You’re about to sprint when “Kenny” grabs you by the wrist, snaking you towards his body and holding you by the waist. Your heart beats like a bass drum and your senses are overflowing with anger mixed with adrenaline mixed with sheer, unadulterated anxiety. Suddenly, all those self-defense tactics you taught yourself aren’t anywhere in your brain, mind going blank. Your knee-jerk reaction comes eventually within seconds as your canines bite as hard as they can into the man’s flesh, to which he screams and loosens his grip. Red Beanie subdues you immediately, taking over your smaller size and wrapping his arms around your waist.

Right as you twist around and kick him in the groin, a web rapidly hits him hard enough to propel him into a nearby car. You’re distracted for a second. Somehow seeing the red and blue suit perched on the street lamp above you makes you feel angrier despite the relief he was probably giving you.

“I don’t think so, sir!” Spiderman effectively kicks Kenny to the pavement before he’s able to move. The hero’s foot steps harder on the man’s face as blood permeates the asphalt along with one or two teeth. “That’s not how you try to win over a lady’s attention.”

Releasing him, Kenny attempts to throw a punch at Peter but the boy easily escapes with cat-like (spider-like?) reflexes. He subdues the man and webs him to the alley-wall, to which Kenny reacts with a string of expletives and a whole lot of spitting.

“Guess you guys never learned your manners, huh?”

You roll your eyes and cross your arms, shivering.

“You okay, miss?” Peter asks you, Spider-eyes wide. He doesn’t understand the scowl on your face — shouldn’t you be relieved that he’d just saved you from attempted assault?

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” you grumble. “I could’ve handled that myself but thanks for the free entertainment. Have you considered changing your script? It’s a bit corny.”

“What, you don’t like my lines?” Peter jokes. You stare at him blankly. Under his mask, he frowns. It didn’t occur to him how much you actually dislike Spiderman until now.

“Have a good night, Spidey,” you grimace, saluting him and going on your way. Peter clearly can’t take the hint, even though your demeanor is like a light-up sign.

“W-wait! Can I walk you home?”

You scoff, laughing darkly. “If that’s what’s gonna help you sleep tonight.”

“I… don’t understand. Are you mad that I just rescued you?”

“You didn’t rescue me. I’ve lived in New York City all my life, of course, I’ve been mugged once or twice,” you snap.

“Listen, you don’t know what could’ve happened to you if I wasn’t there.”

“Are you demanding a thank you? Because I already said thanks. I’m okay. I’m alive.”

“Sorry,” Peter mumbles, still following you to your home. He scratches his head awkwardly. “Are you really okay, though?”

You sigh. First, your ego gets killed by the sight of your crush with someone else. Second, you nearly become an unsolved true crime case for the NYPD. Now, you were walking home with someone you’d rather not encounter at this close of a proximity ever. You bite your tongue. You’ve been rude enough to the hero — commenting on his Spandex-covered appearance wasn’t going to add anything to your already seething rage.

“No. I’ve had a shit night. This really topped it all off, though.”

“At least you’re safe,” Peter tries. He doesn’t know what to say to you. Even at school and during your hangouts, he’s always been a bit shyer around you, especially because you were the newest to the group and not yet a FOS. If anything, you were a HOS (Hater of Spiderman).

“Uh-huh,” you mumble solemnly.

“Um, I like your outfit. Went to a party or something?”

“Uh-huh,” you reply with the same monotony. You don’t know what time it is but you’re absolutely exhausted. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a teenager probably a few years younger than you on a bicycle. His jaw is wide open and you glare back. Your features soften when you remember your unlikely companion beside you. Spiderman waves at the kid and you hear a whispered “holy shit.” It’s the first time you laugh that whole night.

“Does all this popularity ever get to your head?” you cock your head at your companion.

“Nah. Not everyone likes me. You’re an example.”

You take a breath and look at the masked boy apologetically. You may be a bit drunk, but you get it, kind of. Spiderman’s charm. You liked the sound of his voice, you realize, because it feels like something warm and familiar. You realize he’s probably around your age or only a little bit older. It makes you pity him a bit.

Peter notices how slow you’re walking and offers to swing you to your apartment. Fuck it. You agree.

__

Swinging under Spiderman’s grip was probably the worst idea of the night, because your system is full of mixed liquors, and now New York’s favorite superhero is holding your hair back in your own bathroom while you puke your brains out. You decide your life is a comedy. A black comedy.

Despite your protests, Peter carries you bridal-style to your bed, plopping your body down as he helps you take off your jacket. You’re still in a mildly drunken state so you don’t think about how this stranger is in your room, watching you take off your dress. Peter’s eyes widen and he awkwardly turns around for your own privacy. You chuckle at his shyness.

“What, you never seen a girl naked before?” you tease.

“Not really, no,” Peter mumbles.

“For real? You’re a fucking superhero and you’re telling me you get no hoes.”

Peter shrugs. “Too busy saving people and keeping the streets clean, I guess.”

You roll your eyes, remembering your dislike for Spiderman. Although, maybe it isn’t exactly the person in front of you that you dislike, but rather the association you have with Avengers and cops. You absolutely hated systems of authority and considered Spiderman a pawn for the NYPD. You wouldn’t admit this to him now, though, because, for one, you’re too tired, and secondly, you find yourself entranced by the broadness of the hero’s shoulders and thick thighs. You wonder briefly how he looks underneath his suit.

You’re left in your underwear and an oversized t-shirt, so you tell Spiderman he can turn around again.

“Woooow, I see how it is,” he says, and you cackle. “You did that on purpose!”

He sits on your bed and lightly tugs the hem of your t-shirt sporting Captain America’s logo. For the next three hours, the two of you make interesting conversation (save for your interjections at Spiderman’s… craft). The two of you have more in common than you would’ve guessed, and now you’re cursing yourself slightly for how much you want to kiss the masked stranger in front of you. You’re sitting on your bed together, thighs touching.

Mindlessly, you take his hand, examining the thin material of his red suit.

“Sorry for being so mean, earlier,” you mumble. “Guess it’s just ironic how you actually saved me considering the last time.”

“What do you mean, last time?” Peter asks. A beat passes. Your swallow a lump in your throat.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Peter shakes his head. Has he met you before as Spiderman?

“A year ago, I was walking around 8th and there was this huge explosion. The car bomb, remember? And you were there obviously getting the bad guys and shit but right when it happened, you… you saved my friend instead of me. Like, she was completely unscathed meanwhile I got hit by so much fucking shrapnel and then kept getting nightmares about it for months after.”

You purse your lips.

Peter’s eyes widen when he remembers the incident. Before he saved Liz Allan from falling down the suspending elevator at the Washington monument, he saved her a first time in Manhattan. His senses were loud enough to save her before the bomb had gone off. It was a small explosion, but an explosion nonetheless, big enough to fuck up the pizzeria near Port Authority. He suddenly remembered that Liz was hanging out with you.

Peter didn’t remember the exact moment, but you did. The two of you had locked eyes when you had gotten injured despite all the debris, clouding everyone’s vision, and before he could even think about making his way to you, Liz had hugged him as tightly as she could. Seconds later, he was distracted by the culprit of the crime and swung away after Liz’s affections. You were on the ground, slightly bloodied with a bruised rib that took a few weeks to heal. You didn’t want to feel ill will towards Liz, but the incident stuck in your brain. It felt rude and intentional that Spiderman didn’t bother with even trying to save you, but in reality, Peter was just too scatterbrained to pay attention.

How did he not recognize you? He had noticed you had taken a week off at school, but he wasn’t very close to you. All you knew was that you were close friends with MJ and Liz and you shared a few classes.

“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry, Y/N”, he whispers, taking his gloved hand to cradle your jaw to look up at him. Your eyes narrow.

“Wait, how do you know my name?”

The boy panics, but luckily his eyes fall onto the birthday card taped to your wall behind you. It was from your 16th from MJ, who had drawn a cartoon version of you and her with your name in bubble letters. He nods to it.

“Oh, right.”

“I’m really sorry, I swear. I… I wish I could go back in time. I’m so sorry.”

You turn your face away from him. You feel embarrassed about your dislike for him. Were you just… jealous of Liz? Maybe. But now your body felt hot from shame because of how sweet you learned Spiderman to be. You also feel nervous about how intimate the current moment feels.

“I always beat myself up about that kind of stuff. Not being able to save everyone. I want you to know that everything that happened that day was… was fucked up, but I didn’t turn away from you on purpose,” Peter breathes.

“I don’t need your pity, Spidey. It may have been traumatizing but you made me realize that I can take care of myself just fine on my own. Without anyone’s help.”

“You didn’t deserve what happened to you.”

For some reason, you decide to touch where his neck meets his collarbone, and you lift his mask the slightest bit. Peter feels like he might choke.

“What are you doing?”

You lift higher but not enough to even see Peter’s nose. You see his pale skin and the sharpness of his jaw and you smooth a thumb over it.

“Just remembering that you’re human,” you muse quietly. “I’m sorry, I’m overstepping, aren’t I?”

“You’re fine.” Peter’s head is reeling. He quite literally forgets how to breathe. When did the two of you get so close to each other?

“I forgive you. Sorry for being a cunt.”

“You aren’t… that.” You chuckle in response.

“What are you thinking about?”

Peter swallows before he answers. He feels like he’s teetering on something where he has a higher chance of falling. There’s a pit in his stomach with your name on it.

“How I wanna kiss you,” he replies, his voice just above a whisper.

“Go ahead, Spidey.”

He puts a hand over your eyes, the other on his face to lift up his mask a little more. Slowly, he puts his lips on yours. Peter knows you can’t see his face, but he feels naked all the same. He’s nearly convinced you can hear how loud his heart is beating. Blood rushes to your cheeks as you sigh into his mouth. His thin lips are softer than you’d expected.

Your hand is clenching his thigh and you do everything in your power to not just climb into his lap. You’re on your knees in your bed lifting your head up to meet Peter’s lips, and he removes his hand from your eyes to cradle your cheeks. As if he’s read your mind, he pulls you towards him so that you’re on his lap straddling him.

A groan tickles its way out of Peter’s throat and it sounds like heaven to your ears. You open your eyes as he pulls away slowly and notices the tiniest cut on the corner of his mouth. You close your eyes again and kiss him there, then his jaw, then down his neck until the fabric of his suit prevents you from going lower. You’re reveling at the fact that you’re making Spiderman moan. How are you going to break this news to Michelle?

“Fuck,” Peter murmurs, eyes fluttering at the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. He tilts your chin up so he can kiss you breathless. Your hands are pawing at him now —you’re desperate to feel skin. Before you nearly get on top of him, Peter pulls away, making you whine.

“We can’t get carried away, baby,” he whispers.

“Why not?”

“It’s… it’s not safe for you.”

“I have condoms,” you grin. He laughs at your statement. It’s a high-pitched, boyish laugh. Where have you heard that before?

“You know what I mean.”

He runs his long fingers through your hair and you purr like a kitten. The fabric of his gloved hands makes it so your hair frizzes a bit, which makes Peter chuckle. You look adorable just like this, under your string lights in just a t-shirt with your hair wild.

It makes his heart ache once he realizes what he’s done. He doesn’t know how he’ll react to seeing you in school, in a setting under awful fluorescent lights, and in a group where you’re known as just his friend.

He’s also guilty because Liz kissed him at the party and he has no idea where that’s going, either. It’s not like he can date Liz and have Spiderman date you. Did he want to date Liz? Did he want to date you? He doesn’t know the answer to either of these questions, but at the moment, he’s absolutely smitten with you, and he realizes that he’s fucked either way.

“I think I should go,” the hero gulps.

“Can you at least stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?” you urge.

He sighs and nods. He might as well enjoy his moments with you, your head curled into his chest with his arms around you. He feels silly that he’s in a girl’s bed wearing his suit. It feels like a cheap costume to him right now. He feels like a fraud.

___

It’s three in the morning when you wake up. You don’t know what wakes you up. You were just having a lovely dream about being on a date with Spiderman, which ended right as you were about to lift his mask. Turning to your side, you see that Spiderman is still in your bed, fast asleep as you just were. The sight makes your heart beat faster.

How strange it was, to have a new crush on someone you disliked. On someone whose identity you didn’t even know, though, after the entire night, you feel like you had grown up with the boy next to you. It takes everything in you to not pry off his mask while he sleeps. You know he’d probably hate you for it and you’d never see him again.

Half an hour passes. Or is it an hour? Either way, you can’t get back to sleep, so naturally, you look at your Twitter feed and check your email and other mundane things on your phone. You finally check your texts, something you’re usually awful at, and chuckle at the texts from your group chat. Peter and Ned were gushing about something related to Dune, which you didn’t care about considering you weren’t a science fiction nerd like them. You hold down on MJ’s text mocking them to give it a heart.

Something vibrates. Your eyebrows furrow, looking for the source of it until your eyes settle on a black backpack near your window. You remembered being curious about the backpack when Spiderman was walking you home, but after swinging with him, your brain was a blur by the time you were vomiting. Carefully, you get out of bed and crawl on your carpeted floor so you don’t disturb Spiderman’s slumber. The front pocket is zipped open slightly, and an iPhone is illuminated. You take it out of its pocket and your eyes widen at what you see.

(Y/N) loved a message

Your mouth gapes open. You see your name on the screen, as well as about four texts from Aunt May. It hits you like a train.

Peter is Spiderman. Spiderman is Peter.

You turn around and look back at the masked vigilante. Peter Parker is asleep in my bed right now.

If you weren't wrecked with tiredness, maybe you’d freak out. Well, you are freaking out, but there was nothing you could do unless you felt like waking Peter up just to yell and interrogate him. Instead, you crawl back to bed and attempt to fall asleep, though you’re aching to take off Peter’s mask just to see his face for real. You fall asleep eventually with Peter stirring and wrapping an arm around you.

___

Peter’s gone by the time you wake up. You contemplate texting him but you can’t. You ignore his texts about the physics homework, and the banter in your group chat, and MJ’s questions about whether or not you made it home safely. You don’t say anything to anyone for the rest of the weekend.

By the time Monday rolls around, you’ve still avoided Peter, but you manage to corner MJ privately.

Before she’s able to ask you what’s wrong, you interrupt her.

“I kissed Peter.”

“What?”

Your lips form a thin line.

“Dude, when? At the party? Or after?”

“After.”

“Holy shit. I thought he got with Liz!” MJ whispers, eyes wide. You bite your lower lip.

“I don’t know if he did or not,” you shrug. “I went home and I almost got mugged but Spiderman saved me and then he walked me home and then he stayed over and now I don’t hate him anymore I guess.”

MJ’s eyes are nearly bugging out of her skull with her forehead crinkling in confusion. Suddenly, her face relaxes but her pupils are still black and wide. You see the realization in her face. She knows. Do they all know?

“If I ask you something, do you promise to tell me the truth?” you ask earnestly. For once, MJ is an open book. Her face reeks of guilt in contrast to your begging eyes.

She opens her mouth as if to answer you but closes it. Conveniently, the bell rings.

“MJ, please.” You tug on her arm but she shakes her head.

“You should talk to Peter.” A beat passes and she walks away from you. You sigh in defeat and gather your books from your locker. In the mirror on your locker door, you see a familiar mop of brown hair. Peter watches you from afar with an expression you can’t put a name to. Before you can catch up to him, he slips away.

___

mj: have you talked to Y/N today?

peter: no i havent

mj: ok

peter: why?

mj: nothing, just wondering

peter: she seems kind of out of it today. i feel like she’s avoiding me

peter: …is she avoiding me?

Peter’s in the darkness of his room, face illuminated by his phone screen. He watches an animated bubble at the bottom of his screen, which suddenly stops. He groans. Usually, MJ and he share everything, but now that you were in the mix, he can’t help but speculate that something was wrong.

He knows it’s a bad idea. He knows. But after last night, his heart’s been yearning for you and you wouldn’t bat an eye at him all day. Considering MJ confirmed your suspicions, you decide that school grounds weren’t the most appropriate place to confront Peter about his secret identity. You didn’t know where a good place was, or when a good time was, so you decided to avoid the ordeal completely. Maybe it was a one-time thing. You did watch Peter make out with Liz, and him making out with you was probably just a fluke because of how you’d just spent hours with one another. He didn’t actually like you. Boys are… boys.

You try not to let it get to you. Even when you notice Peter watching you in English class, to which you flash him a quick smile so that he doesn’t notice your somber demeanor. If you looked back at him for too long, you thought you might’ve cried.

You try to forget about the past twenty-four hours by putting on a random Netflix comedy, but it’s merely background noise to your extremely loud thoughts. You jump at the sound of knocking at your window, and when you peel back your curtains, your eyes widen at the sight of a familiar red and blue-suited figure. He waves at you lamely.

“Can I come in?”

You nod, lifting your window open.

“Hi,” you breathe. You try not to give away your grin. You’ve convinced yourself Peter doesn’t like you, nor does Spiderman, yet the sight in front of you makes your heart ecstatic.

“Hi.”

“Shouldn’t you be fighting bad guys or something?”

“You were more important.” Heat rises to your face. You don’t say anything.

“I feel like I’m putting you in danger just by being here but I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. Couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you,” he says softly.

“Me neither.”

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers and you beam at him, lifting his mask.

Delicately, you kiss him like your mouth is a butterfly landing on his flower of a mouth. He responds with a sweet sigh. It’s like Peter’s brain is short-circuited, glitching, a thousand tabs open in his mind with just you on every page.

He hums as you pull him closer, holding your cheeks until he feels dampness. Opening his eyes, he sees your face littered with tears.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His heart aches at the sight of you.

“I just feel like no matter what, this is going to end badly.” You don’t say this out loud. Instead, you smile sweetly at him, wiping your tears, and you lock lips again. Peter feels like he’s absorbing your pain. He pushes you towards your bed until you both fall onto it with him on top of you.

He kisses alongside your jaw and squeezes the flesh that’s right above your hip. He’s taking advantage of the fact that you’re wearing a crop top. His hands explore your love handles and the small of your back and the spot in between your underwear and your navel.

“Touch me, Peter,” you whisper. It doesn’t even register in your brain that you actually said that, but Peter hears it as clear as day.

“You called me Peter.”

You don’t know what to say. Your jaw is slack and he pulls away from you, instead sitting at the edge of your bed.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you stammer. Peter pulls his mask down over his mouth quickly.

“How did you know? Did.. did you know this whole time? And you hate Spiderman and… I don’t…” Peter struggles with things to say because of how off-guard he is. He didn’t know what he was doing. Hell, he was a teenage boy before he was a superhero. He didn’t know what this relationship with you was or how far he was going to let it go, but all he knew was that he wanted to be absorbed in you for however long you’d have him. Separate from his “real life”. Separate from Peter Parker, because God knows how your friendship would be affected.

“I-I didn’t know. Not until last night. We’re in the same group chat, you know,” you explain.

“Fuck, Y/N, you weren’t supposed to find out!” You wince at his raised voice.

“Why not? Doesn’t MJ know? And Ned? Why am I not supposed to know?” you argue.

“You hate Spiderman.”

Your face falls. It hits you that every time you’ve said something harshly negative about Spiderman, Peter was right there to hear it. It makes you sick to your stomach how you must’ve made him feel.

“I love Peter. So I love Spiderman, too. Or I can learn to. I promise.”

“You what?”

“I really like you, Peter.”

With that, Peter takes off his mask and looks at you with his melancholic brown eyes. He stares at you intensely before bridging the gap between you two again. He kisses you properly now like he means it, twirling a lock of your hair in his fingers, leaning into you closer and closer.

“Do you… pity… me?” you mumble in between kisses.

“Why would I?” Peter furrows his brows.

“You like Liz.” You feel pathetic. Everything happening was much too confusing for your brain to handle at the moment.

“I… I thought I liked Liz, but I think I was just in love with the idea of her. I’m pretty sure she kissed me to try to get over Harry Osborn, too. I like you. I didn’t know what to do about it because I feel like there was this weird tension between us and I didn’t know if it was romantic or sexual or negative.”

“Peter, why would it be negative?”

“You just hated Spiderman this whole time that I let myself believe that you hated Peter Parker in the back of your mind, too.”

You laugh and shake your head. You kiss him again passionately, nibbling his lower lip slightly.

“Peter, I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to hate you.”

Before he can answer, his words catch in your throat from being stuffed down with the sensation of your lips. His anxiety dissipates as he takes in the smell of your shampoo and the softness of your skin. He’d stay with you in your room forever if he could.

You didn’t think you’d ever warm up to Spiderman. You were plenty content letting him kiss you all over for the rest of the night — something you wouldn’t be able to fathom a week ago. You sigh at the feeling of Peter’s wet mouth on your neck. The two of you decide that forever can mean just for that night. Eventually, it becomes the next night, then the next, then the next. You never realized how much you actually love red and blue.

[killmewitharainbowknife]

The bi stages I went through

I am straight. I like men ONLY.

I am straight????

Do I like women??? Or do I just think they’re pretty?

Boobs? Yes please? I want to put my head on a pretty lady”s chest. I want to marry her and go to a cottage together. And we will have mushroom pottery all around the house.... I thought that was normal???

Yeah. I like women. No denying the truth.

I like women and men. Yep.

I like women more than men.

Do I really like men or was I just conditioned by society to do so?

Um. Yeah. No. Maybe. IDK!!!???

I like women and men. I just prefer women more. Like so much more.

I want a girlfriend so badly

Yearns endlessly for a girlfriend

Anime loving gamer boy who smells like coffee and gives me muffin pops up.

Ends up in a relationship with a weeb gamer muffin boy.

I fucked up my soup.

Tells myself that I am still valid even when I am in a “straight relationship”.

Anxiety makes me overthink. I know that I am bi but I feel less like I am.... I get insecure and end up hating my relationship because it is a “straight relationship”...

Am I just making this up. I might not be bi. I fucked up. I’m a poser? Did I just do this to get attention?

Wait. No. I’m still attracted to women.

Shit. I fucked up. I’m only attracted to women??? I might be a lesbian. How do I tell him this??? His past relationship ended because the girl found out that she was a lesbian. What if it ends up the same with me??? I will feel so sorry for him because I made him look forward to a relationship just for it to end up like that?? He can’t have 2 consecutive ex gfs who ended up being lesbians... that’s going to affect his future relationships and it’s all my fault.

I feel guilty. I feel bad. I feel like vomiting. I feel nauseous.

Oh wait. Nope. I’m still attracted to men? Somehow?

I am romantically attracted to women and men. But I am only sexually attracted to women.

I’m still so happy with muffin guy.

I haven’t told him that I am not sexually attracted to men

Shit

And the saga continues...

[jonathanvik]

Starlight Dream - Chapter 4

Takako shook her head, eyes wide. “What the heck was that?” She shuddered in revulsion. “Ugh, he had hairy legs and everything. He could have at least shaved. How did someone like him become a magical girl!” Nothing remained of the second floor after the magical girl’s assault. The entire area had been vaporized. The gang members of Lotus Butcher cowered in terror, fearful the girl might unleash her wrath on them next. “They’re gone, yet I still detect that strange presence.” The fairy said, turning his attention towards the frozen Seina. Sweat trickled down her brow, realizing how helpless she was at the moment. “I feel it too.” Takako twirled the guns in her hands in thought. She sent a frosty glare in Seina’s direction. “You must be the real magical girl.” I need to do something. If they’re evil, I can’t fight while frozen. An idea popped into the magical girl's head. “Hey, can you unfreeze me?” Seina whispered towards Masato, who trembled in terror. “We might be next. She really hated your boss. Who knows what she’ll do to his men!” Seina wasn’t being entirely truthful, playing on his fears, but she needed to free herself somehow. Much to her relief, the thug nodded. “I can! Please save me! I don’t want to die!” Masato whimpered pathetically before striking Seina in the neck. Much to her relief, movement returned to her body. She released the thug’s arm. Her grip had left a nasty purple bruise, leaving Seina a little guilty, promising to be more gentle with normal folk in future. Even if this one had sort of deserved it. “Why didn’t you do that sooner? You could have saved yourself from getting thrown into a cement pit. I would have saved you.” The thug blushed embarrassed, before coughing into his fist. “Didn’t occur to me. But hey, now you can defeat that evil magical girl! We had a deal!” Masato ran behind Seina, using her body as a shield. Takako watched this entire exchange in amusement. “So you’re the magical girl of this universe? So lame. You allowed a bunch of thugs to get the better of you!” “Very lame.” Her fairy said, nodding in agreement. Seina grunted in annoyance, not liking their tone. “Who are you, anyway? What do you want? What do you mean the vampires should be running the planet?” Takako rolled her eyes, exasperated. “You don’t get it? Did your partner not explain anything?” Seina bunched her hand into a fist and opened her mouth for a nasty retort, but two newcomers paused her words. “Seina, thank goodness you’re okay!” Colten said, landing on her shoulder. “Sorry we’re late. Those thugs gave us more trouble than we expected.” Mr. Kiyojiro said. “We saw the strange explosion.” “Seina, who are these people?” Colten gave the new magical girl a wary eye. “Call me, Lily Annihilator. Just the baddest, most evil magical girl around.” Takako spun her weapon around and ended in a stylish pose. “Nier, partner to her badness!” Her fairy added. “Why did you defeat the vampires? Explain.” Takako asked. “Because they’re bad guys, and it’s the right thing to do?” Seina replied. It still shocked her that this girl had proclaimed that magical girls existed to cause suffering. The world was terrible enough already. Why add to it? “The right thing?” Takako broke into mocking laughter, unable to believe her ears. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those lame hero types. How embarrassing!” “She even looks lame. Who wears pink?” Her fairy companion added. “Pink is my favorite color,” Seina replied, her tone terse. What was with this girl’s attitude? “Too bad. Now I’m here to fix things.” Takako said. “At least someone is taking our magical girl duties seriously.” Seina clenched her teeth. After spending a moment to regain her composure, she gave Colten a meaningful look, pleading for some answers. Were magical girls just villains all along? “Not, now.” Colten’s little voice broke. Guilt washed over his tiny features and he turned aside. “We need to deal with her first.” Takako snorted and slung one of her pistols over her shoulder. “If you can. I’ve been a magical girl for almost three hundred years. You’ve been one for what? A few weeks? You can’t compare to me.” “Well, uh, wait, what?” Seina asked in alarm. “Uh, did I forget to mention that magical girls are immortal and don’t age?” Colten gave a nervous laugh. “Colten!” Was she stuck in a ten-year-old’s body for the rest of her life? She didn’t want that! Humans just got the ability to drive cars again. They’d never allow her behind the wheel now! “Now’s not the time. Evil magical girl!” Colten said, pointing towards their common foe. “Okay, you’re right. But we’re having a serious decision after this.” Seina let out a breath, centering herself. She couldn’t afford any distractions. After extending her hand, she summoned her staff. Takako blinked before she snorted, fighting back laughter. “Is that a bubble blower, really?” “It’s a staff, and it’s a perfectly valid weapon.” Seina straightened her posture. “You’re a strange one.” Takako tilted her head. “Your aura is bizarre. I couldn’t even tell you were a magical girl at first. Ah, well. It’s about time I kick your butt.” “Yeah, you’re about to die, poser!” Takako’s fairy friend said. Here it comes. Seina tensed. This was her first fight against someone on her level. Could she win this? “I’m getting out of here!” Lotus Butcher’s thugs ran for the hills, fleeing before everything got out of control. The dark magical girl didn’t bother stopping them. Instead, Takako focused her attention on Seina, mouth extending into a confident smirk. In an impressive display of skill, Takako spun her guns around before pointing them at her opponent. “Goodbye!” The walls around Seina exploded, leaving nothing but rubble and an enormous crater. None of the bullets, however, even touched Seina. “... Ha, very impressive! You have some guts. I admire your gusto, newbie!” Takako said, puffing out her chest, though Seina detected some red on her cheeks. “You’re just saying that so we don’t notice that you completely missed her. Can you even aim with those things?” Colten replied. Come to think of it, when she shot up Dreven, she just shot in his general direction not really aiming at him. “Shows what you know! I never miss!” Takako shot back. “You’re just too lame to see it.” Now’s my best chance! Seina darted forward, catching her opponent completely off guard. Takako howled in pain as her staff struck against her chest and sent her flying across the city. Seina blinked. “That was easier than expected. I hope I didn’t hurt her too badly.” Several minutes passed, and Seina feared the worst. Thankfully, a bloody Takako dragged herself back to the scene of the battle. It took several minutes for her to reach Seina, her limp making it difficult to walk. “Lucky shot.” Takako’s voice was ragged and held a great deal of pain. “Nothing compared to me of course.” “Are you okay?” A concerned Seina asked. “Wow, we hurt her pretty bad. Maybe you should run off somewhere and treat your wounds?” Colten said. “You don’t know who you’re messing with. No one can defeat me!” Much to everyone’s shock, the dark magical girl turned her white pistol against herself. “Healing shot!” Green light surrounded Takako. Like magic, all her wounds disappeared. Her breathing returned to normal, appearing good as new. “How did you do that?” Seina asked, amazed. “It’s my power,” Takako replied. “I can make my bullets do whatever I want. Creating a bullet that completely restores my health is nothing. Your little lucky shot was worth nothing!” “Magical girls are amazing!” It made Seina feel stupid that she could only smack things with her staff. Takako was on another level entirely. “Seeing how you’re quaking in your boots, how about you run off and cry somewhere?” Takako said. “Uh.” Seina blinked, unsure how to respond to that. Did the magical girl think she was winning already? Takako snorted and twirled her twin pistols around. “Well? Ready to run, or what?” “We could not fight? We could be friends instead?” Seina asked. Despite everything, she was grateful that the magical girl had saved her from Dreven. The situation might have turned nasty if she hadn’t arrived. “You don’t want to fight, huh?” Takako puffed out her chest. “Already lost the will to fight, have you? You aren’t worth bothering with. Let’s go, Nier.” Without another word, the magical girl vanished, leaving a baffled Seina behind. “Eh?” Did I lose? What was with that bizarre tough girl act? “What a weirdo,” Colten said, flying up to her. “Seems like you scared her away.” Though Mr. Kiyojiro seemed troubled and Seina could guess why. Did this mean more magical girls would come to fight them? “Let’s round up the rest of Lotus Butcher’s gang and return home,” Seina said. Colten still owed her some serious explanations, but the bad guys came first. The vampire’s gang had vanished. Only Masato remained, huddling in a corner. “Who is this Lotus Butcher, anyway? We owe them a butt-kicking for impersonating you!” Colten said, his tiny mouth twisting into a snarl. “Uh, I’m sure you’d believe me if I told you.” Before Seina explained further, Takako appeared from nowhere above her and fired her pistols upon her. Much to Seina’s surprise, the bullets exploded into nets. They wrapped around her, fastening themself to the stone floor. “You again?” The evil magical girl smirked and flicked her hair. “Did you really think I would leave with defeating you? I knew if I made you lower your guard, you’d be easy pickings!” “That’s just dirty.” Seina struggled against her bonds. Despite her enormous strength, they proved too difficult to break. Trapped, again! I need to stop dropping my guard. “You got her, great!” Nier said, hovering around Seina’s head. “Emiyo will be most pleased,” Takako said. “Seina!” Colten’s tiny paws pulled at the nets engulfing his partner, but they proved too difficult to break. Mr. Kiyojiro stood to the side, helpless. Takako’s black pistol fired again, and a further net appeared, trapping the fairy alongside his partner. “Colten!” “I’m sorry.” The fairy looked down. “They’re going to take us home, a place I never wanted to return.” “Too bad, traitor!” Nier said. “I’m not sure how a lowly fairy like you created a magical girl, but you know the consequences of betrayal. The Devil Princesses’ retribution will be quick and merciless.” “Seina.” Colten sniffed. “Never!” Seina refused to allow these Devil Princesses to harm a hair on her new friend. Despite what Colten may think, he’d brought nothing but good to her life. Because of him, she’d tasted freedom for the first time in her short life. “Huh?” Takako screamed in pain as Seina suddenly threw herself forward, striking her opponent’s face with her forehead. Despite the force of the blow Seina remained trapped in the netting. “Hey, I can move a bit!” Seina hopped around the empty warehouse. She wasn’t completely helpless! “You little!” The evil magical girl wobbled on her feet, grimacing in pain. “I’m not finished yet!” Seina bent down and threw her body headfirst towards Takako’s torso. Her opponent gave a strangled cry and disappeared into the distance. “Takako!” Her fairy partner flew after her. “Oops, I might have overdone it.” Seina hadn’t intended to hit the other magical girl that hard. She still had a million questions that needed answering. Much to her relief, the bounds around her body disappeared moments later. “Uh, you think she’s okay?” Seina gave a pensive look to a distant point on the horizon. Despite her claims of being the most evil being around, Seina detected no malice from the boastful magical girl. It left her very confused. “Oh, she’s fine.” Colten waved a dismissive paw. “Magical girls aren’t so easy to kill.” “She’ll be back, and she’ll bring reinforcements.” Mr. Kiyojiro gave Colten an icy glare. “It seems you haven’t been entirely honest with us.” Colten tensed before sighing. “I know.” “We aren’t angry with you, Colten.” Seina grabbed her partner’s paw and squeezed. “Just tell us the truth.” “Okay.” Colten’s expression turned pained. He wouldn’t enjoy what he’d say next. “The truth is, fairies are creatures of great evil. Magical girls are their instrument of destruction. They enter dark pacts with evil-minded girls to spread their horror and terror. They live in a world between reality called The Starlight Dream.” “Hold on.” Nothing about this story made any sense. “You aren’t evil!” Her fairy friend gave a weak smile. “I’m just some weirdo without the stomach to do anything bad. Back home, fairies hated and bullied me about it. I ran away to be anywhere else. That’s how I came to your universe.” “Oh, Colten.” Seina gave her friend a well-deserved hug. “I think you’re fantastic.” Mr. Kiyojiro nodded. “You’re better than any of them.” Colten sniffed, tears welling in the corner of his eyes. “Guys.” Masato gave his own empathic nod, patting the fairy on the shoulder. “Sounds rough. I wasn’t too popular with my family either. My folks kicked me out when I couldn’t live up to their expectations.” Seina jerked. She’d totally forgotten the thug was still here and glared at him. “Get out of here! You aren’t part of this conversation!” “Yeah, leave! We don’t care about your backstory!” Colten said, flying around in an irritated, erratic pattern. “I’m leaving.” The enormous man shrunk under the magical girl and her bodyguard’s angry glares and slunk away, ashamed. “Still though, it still stuns me you even became a magical girl, Seina. I’ve always been told only evil girls can become one. When your brooch appeared, I feared the worst, wondering if you were as wicked as the others, but you proved me wrong.” “Why did you leave out the genocide in my transformation chant?” The sudden inclusion of the horrible word had shocked Seina when Takako had used it. “It was in the vain hope transforming into a magical girl wouldn’t turn you evil.” Colten gave a pained smile. “I’m not very knowledgeable about any of this magical girl stuff. I’m no one special back home.Still it amazes me how powerful you are!” Colten said, flying happy loops around his friend’s head. “I was certain we were a goner when that evil magical girl showed up. There’s something about you.” Mr. Kiyojiro gave a thoughtful look. “That girl mentioned someone named Emiyo. Who is that?” Right, I’d forgotten about that! “And what did Takako mean when she said vampires should be running everything? Did magical girls cause vampires here?” Before the darkness’s arrival, the monsters had only been a myth used to scare children. “I’m not sure. Maybe?” Colten replied. “I’m not privy to the higher echelons’ plans. But I know who Emiyo is. She’s a lieutenant of the Four Devil Princesses. They rule Starlight Dream with their fairy companions. They’re bad news. Their powers are beyond anything we can face. Takako and Nier were only minor minions. I’ve heard stories that they can shatter entire universes!” Seina looked down. “So, more magical girls will come to fight me.” “I’m afraid so. They’re probably going to kill us and destroy this planet to make an example of it.” Much to Seina’s surprise, Mr. Kiyojiro’s expression hardened. “I refused to allow that to happen.” “Huh?” “There’s an old gym a couple of miles from your apartment.” Mr. Kiyojiro replied. “It’s the perfect place to train.” “Eh?” “We’ll show these princesses we aren’t such easy prey.” Mr. Kiyojiro’s voice held a remarkable intensity. “Those monsters won’t touch you or our world.” Seina stared for several long moments before nodding in agreement. She couldn’t afford to get sloppy. If those monsters wanted to hurt her world, they’d have to pry it from her cold, dead hands first. Somehow, she’d win this! --- Lilha yawned. As usual, the hateful sun blazed over her, making every moment its own torment. But it didn’t make her days any less uninteresting. Few people had approached her for ice cream, leaving her with little to do. She listened to some passersby jabber on about nothing in particular, laughing to themselves, and Lilha hated them for it. How dare they enjoy themselves while their rightful queen suffered so? I could murder them on the street for fun! She imagined people screaming in delightful terror as her victims’ blood spattered the pavement below. Her wonderful, imaginative image shattered when reality struck hard. And Seina would come and kill me. Lilha sagged and allowed her potential prey to pass unmolested. A strange sound caught her attention. The ex-vampire queen glanced up to see a figure hurtling towards a nearby beach. What the heck is that? Had that been a person? Lilha ignored it, turning back towards her ice cream stand. It was probably a dumb vampire thinking they could pick a fight with Seina and now paying the price, their tradectory certainly didn’t seem under their own control. Presumably they’d been sent flying by one of her nemesis’s blows.There probably wasn’t much hope for them if that was the case. Still her stand was empty of customers, and the fool might not be dead. She might gain an ally. Anyone powerful enough to survive an encounter with the magical girl must be someone worthwhile, right? After some searching, Lilha found a deep skid mark on the ground, flowing towards an empty beach. What the vampire found at the end of the trail shocked her. The young girl wore a similar dress to Seina, except this girl’s dress was black, and wore skull-shaped earrings. For crying out loud! Not another one! Or was this some sort of copycat? Lilha hid behind a nearby trash can as the girl stirred. A moment later, a black fairy in a skull mask flew down to help the magical girl. “Takako, are you okay?” The fairy said in alarm. The magical girl sported a nasty bruise on the head, bloody oozing from her mouth. With a shaky hand, the girl raised a pistol to her chest and shot. “Healing Shot!” Much to Lilha's astonishment, the magical girl’s injuries healed like they’d never existed. The black magical girl whirled on the fair. “What happened, Nier?” The girl said. “How is she so powerful?! She crumpled me with a single hit!” Huh? She isn’t a friend of Seina’s? “I don’t know, Takako!” The fairy threw up his tiny arms. “Her fairy was just some peasant! Not elite cool people like ourselves!” The black magical girl crossed her arms and looked away, a pouting expression on her face. “This is so lame. Next time, she won’t be so lucky! She just caught me off guard! ” What was going on? Were magical girls not the pillar of goodness Lilha had believed? “Next time?” Nier replied. “You’re not thinking of facing her again? We need to get Emiyo. We can’t defeat her by ourselves!” Takako whirled on her fairy companion, pointing a finger into his chest. “No, we’re doing this alone. I refused to return to Starlight Dream, begging for help. I have a reputation!” The magical girl’s jaw firmly clamped shut, refusing to argue on this subject. “Fine.” The fairy sighed, landing on a nearby rock. If they’re also fighting against Seina, then they’d be useful allies. Lilha might be finally rid of that hateful girl forever! “Well, if you’re an enemy of Seina, perhaps we can help each other,” Lilha said, leaving her hiding spot behind the trash can. “Who are you?” Takako raised an eyebrow at the newcomer. “My name is Lilha. I am the Queen of Vampires.” She replied, standing up proudly. “Really?” The magical girl’s skeptical eyebrow rose even higher, eying Lilha’s ice cream vendor uniform. Lilha’s face burned hot, fighting back her embarrassment. “It’s a disguise. It helps me blend in so Seina doesn’t recognize me.” “She has an evil aura, so I don’t think she’s lying about being a vampire at least,” Nier said, flying up to examine the newcomer. “Why do I need some vampire’s help?” Takako asked. “You’re the one so incompetent you couldn’t stop a single girl from taking the world back from you.” Excuse me?! Didn’t you just lose to her too?! After taking several deep breaths, Lilha calmed herself, remembering the bigger picture. Too much was at stake. She couldn’t afford to lose a valuable ally. “Nevertheless, you’ve seen her power,” Lilha said, crossing her fingers, praying this would work. “Without a solid plan, you won’t be able to defeat her. Seina can’t be defeated through brute force.” “She might have a point.” The fairy replied, nodding. “Okay.” Takako rolled her eyes. “I refuse to lose to that goody two-shoes loser again. Besides, a sidekick wouldn’t be too bad.” Sidekick?! Again, Lilha fought back her annoyance, forcing a smile. I hate magical girls so much! “Good, I think I know someone that might help us. Together, Seina doesn’t stand a chance!” Besides, even if they failed, another magical girl would eventually arrive and put Seina’s head on a pike. Either way, vengeance would soon be hers!

[professionalfangirl24601]

AI continues the Riko roast attempt N2

in this one you'll see still no Riko, confused Kevin and Neil's questionable PR skills.

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone. We'll come to your games in peace, and we'll buy your gear. But we'll only do that if you step aside and give me another go at this thing called life."

Neil watched Kevin in silence for several minutes before deciding that—for once—he had to say something. "Kevin, you're great on the court, and the star players in this league who don't know how to act around each other deserve a big applause. You're a great teammate, a solid community person, and a great player. And I'd take a red-hot Dirk Nowitzki in the Finals any day over you. I like a lot of the things that you do on and off the court. I just don't like you. And I'd really appreciate if you could just not be yourself around us. At least then we can have a conversation."

"Nah," Kevin replied after a long pause. "I'm going to be myself."

Taken aback, Neil nodded. "All right, Kevin. You can be yourself. But, you know, a few rules. First of all, you'll have to leave for all practice and shootarounds, and for team meals. I don't want you fucking up the guy's practice routine or spoiling his warm-up routine. And I don't want you parading around half-naked around the arena, much less take my job from me. And while we're on the subject of nudity, I can't have you acting like a jackass with a blown-up Pepsi banner on my back like some sort of tramp."

"Got it," Kevin replied. "I promise to do my best."

"Good. Now, I also need you to tone down your sarcasm, petulance, and dry wit," Neil added, "and stop throwing your mouth open like some sort of baby duck whenever you're excited about something. It's embarrassing. It makes you look like a little punk kid who's already finished with elementary school. Let's see, since you've become a star, your teammates have won five more playoff series and won one more NBA championship, which makes you the winningest player in the history of the team."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm the best."

Neil sighed. "Yes, Kevin, you are, and you know it. You're also the most hated. I know you probably don't want me to tell you this, but your public is starting to catch on to your royal punkiness. Fans are starting to ask when you're going to stop messing around and start being the good-natured soul that you truly are. And while they're asking, they're not as excited when they see you coming to the game anymore. Now that they're no longer getting everything for free, they're demanding a fraction of your paycheck and coming to games only if they've got a death wish.

A quick look at your recent numbers shows that you're never gonna be able to sustain your market value, so you're losing sponsors faster than a Zippy the Pinhead cartoon. I think it's time that you made some more changes to your image and get back to being the class clown. You're going to have to wear these goofy glasses that are now a part of your uniform. You're going to start speaking in a baby voice and begging reporters for softballs as if you were some poor, innocent baby who just wants to be noticed. Then, you're going to bring every scrap of lunch meat and grease-stained Kleenex into the locker room with you, and you're going to start sucking on garlic-flavored toothpicks as if you were some cheap wannabe poser trying to play the part of an intellectual.

And last, but not least, you're going to start jerking off and spraying your entire body with strong-smelling hairspray before going out for a road game, and after the game, you're going to do it again. And then, when you get home, you're going to do it some more. You'll also start sniffing your own armpits, licking them, and making weird comments like, 'Look at that freakin' blue streak in my dreary locks.' You're going to stand in front of your mirror and constantly ogle yourself in the toilet bowl. You're going to call yourself Ginger, gussy yourself up, and belt out 'White Wedding' in the shower, and if you have a date, you're going to purposely rip her clothes off and pretend that it was your idea all along."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to ignore everything you just said, Neil," Kevin replied, trying to speak without giggling.

"Fine. So, then, what's your big idea, Kevin?"

"Oh, this is priceless." Kevin giggled maniacally, and his teammates yelled for him to shut the hell up.

"You're totally gonna be in movies," Neil said. "You're going to play the bad guy, but make sure you get the girl in the end. You're going to go undercover for weeks and sneak into death-metal concert events, where you're gonna stage fights, mess up everyone's hair, and drink bleach while being the absolute worst thing to ever hit a concert stage. People are gonna love it. You're going to start releasing dark, angst-filled folk-rock ballads, full of powerful emotion and heartache. You're going to start writing scathing criticism of the president and your teammates on your blog, but under a false identity so that nobody will recognize your name when you're actually being serious.

You're gonna get married, have two kids, and then have to suffer through a divorce that's so nasty that your ex-wife's going to get remarried within a month of the divorce. You're going to get beaten up regularly by her new boyfriend, who will be an enormous douche, and then have a car accident, and your legs will be broken so badly that you're going to need crutches. You're going to lose your job as a sportswriter, and then your wife's going to get fired from her job as a waitress because your friends will keep inviting her to your games. You're going to have to drive an old junker car that is crammed with mismatched parts, and you're going to have to flip yourself through traffic lights and weave in and out of oncoming cars while wearing a suit that's way too big for you. You'll bring hundreds of dollars of Taco Bell and Tostitos lunch meat into your home, and you'll be constantly sniffing your fingers like a dog, but somehow, that's going to work for you."

"Why don't you shut up?" Kevin demanded.

"I'm telling you, it's the perfect plan," Neil said Kevin finally stopped laughing and his cheeks began to redden.

"I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"Well, all I can say is that you're damn lucky that the Sacramento Kings are playing against the San Jose Sharks this season, otherwise I'd lock you in your room right now, and I'd make you eat a full eight-course dinner," Neil replied. "I don't think you're ready for a Gregg Popovich type of coaching. I'll let you take the next couple of days to ponder this information."

"Uh, okay," Kevin said. "Thanks, Neil," he added quickly as he ran off to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet.

[feelsundefeated]

hi my name is poe ( they/them. 23. est ) ! and i’m very excited to be here <3 i can’t wait to write with all of you :3 this is my goblin eli and while i woke up late and don’t have a background written up or anything you can find an info dump ( plus some wanted connections ) under the cut which will hopefully give you some insight ! like this if you’d like to plot ! it’s easier to get a hold of me on d*scord : kangaroo court#6392 but ims are fine too ! :D

✼:♡*ﾟ✿ ↝  jeon jungkook . demi boy . he/they .  ／  elijah “ eli ” kang is blasting are you bored yet? by wallows again … ugh , i swear they play that song every single day ! you’d think they’d learn how to pipe down . oh , you don’t know them ? they live in apartment 4b . i haven’t talked to them much , but i know that they’re twenty three years old , and that they’ve been living in the complex for three years . i always run into them when they’re coming back home from vinny’s vinyls , and they seem really gregarious and flighty . maybe you’ll have better luck with the aries than i do .

muse info :

he’s a typical american so getting used to canadian culture is still a thing for him. he can do a pretty good accent though ( in his opinion which means it actually sucks ).

he works at vinny’s vinyls and is obsessed with music. his favorite band is wallows but he has a soft spot for all those 2000s pop punk and emo bands. if he recommends fall out boy to you at the register just go with it and act like you’ve never heard of them.

his walls are covered in various records he’s collected some albums he really loves and some he just likes the look of ( ugh posers amirite ? ).

he really loves dogs and most animals in general. if you go through his tiktok fyp it’s filled with farmers and people who take care of animals most people wouldn’t have as a pet.

he’s known pretty much all his life that he’s nonbinary like the idea of being masculine never appealed to him so he just kinda vibes with it. if you ask him he’ll say gender is a myth and he’s never understood it. he’s obsessed with being a he/they like as soon as he found out what a demi boy was he just knew it fit.

also he’s bisexual so he’s just in love and wanting to sleep with everyone KFJDSHJFSD

due to his aries nature he tends to get crushes easily then stupidly admits to them but gets over them in two weeks and ghosts them :/

he’s really bad at committing like really really bad. he’s never had a relationship last longer than three months and he tends to leave people bitter about it because he doesn’t break up with them he just disappears. if your muse hates aries then he might be why.

he loved the idea of living alone because at home he’s the youngest of five siblings and being stuck in a house ( shared bedrooms forever since as the youngest he got the short end of the stick ) with them made him crave alone time. but now he gets lonely a lot and regrets not having a roommate. so whoever he’s friends with he comes in and crashes on their couch a lot for no reason other than he wants to. so you might have to kick this bum out personally

that being said he loves his family a lot and facetimes with his parents and the siblings he can get a hold of at least once a week. they drive him nuts though but in like the best way possible.

he tends to stay up way too late and for some reason that’s when the act up urges hit so if you hear somebody else blaring at 3 am he’s fine i promise ( maybe ).

he never drinks water and suffers from constant headaches but refuses to drink it. his fridge is filled with various flavors of monster blue powerade and mountain dew. he hates the taste of coffee and alcohol ( he still drinks the latter though ).

he really likes video games so if he randomly invites your muse over to play mario kart on the switch it’s either to brag or he’s just trying to hit on you. he’s a shyguy main btw.

talk to him about video games and he’ll get lost in the convo for hours. he loves open world games the best i.e. skyrim breath of the wild red dead redemption 2. but he also likes rpgs and nintendo games.

he runs cold most of the time so he always has a hoody on.

he loves anime so talk to him about anime ( especially my hero academia ) and he has figurines of his favorite character bakugo.

he has a lot of badly done tattoos on his hand and arm just because he gets bored then goes and gets something done.

he wears five earrings in each ear and used to have them gauged but they grew back and he’s too lazy to get them done again. he also has his hair done in an undercut currently and he loves putting it up in ponytails or buns.

if you make him a playlist he’ll fall in love with you immediately.

he’s really good at binging tv shows. he rewatched hannibal in three days and gets done with most new netflix series in a day.

he’s allergic to peanut butter but sometimes he eats uncrustables to see if he’s gotten over thinking he can just build up an immunity to it.

wanted connections:

exes ( any gender. i’m really wanting multiple plots of like people that eli’s strung along and left in the dust. )

hookups / fwbs ( any gender. singular experiences or regular type things )

i haven’t decided where he’s from so hmu for childhood plots. i’m a sucker for childhood besties, first kisses and crushes.

be his infatuation of the week ( this can be multiple plots but i want eli confessing his feelings then getting over them and ghosting leaving your muse confused. i want the awkward run ins and confrontations ! )

you come into vinny’s vinyls and ask him for recs but he just goes on about how good mcr is.

you nag him to please drink some water because he’s clearly dying of dehydration.

come play mario kart with him. he’ll say he’s gonna win but more than likely he’ll lose.

you check up on him because he’s listening to fleetwood mac’s rumours at 4 in the morning and you’re wondering if he’s ok and also you just wanna sleep.

tinder date ( it can go well or not )

he’s eaten peanut butter again and you’re the one who has to drag his stupid ass to the hospital.

you’re the friend whose couch he crashes on constantly. maybe one night you’re trying to bring someone home and he won’t leave and you’re trying to nicely make him get the hint but he refuses so you have to be mean about it.

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it !

[rosesisupposes]

Other Half

hi i was haunted with the idea of subverting a soulmate trope after a chat with @potestessemagishomosexualitatis and it evolved in like a day on discord so here y’all go!

relationships: brotherly prinxiety, QPR moceit, romantic royality, implied/eventual anxceit

content tags: musician roman, techie/sound-guy Virgil, deaf Patton, QPRs, amatonormativity, soulmates & lack thereof, happy ending

word count: 2,847

read on ao3

Roman has half a soulmark, waiting to make skin contact with his Soulmate to finally be completed.

His brother, not so much.

Context: In this world, soulmates have half a symbol somewhere on their skin, each with one half. When soulmates have skin contact for the first time, both marks complete. The amatonormativity (prioritizing romantic love) is very strong, despite the fact that soulmates have frequently been platonic, not just romantic. It’s still a rather progressive idea, similar to gay marriage, and the traditions and stories are all centered around that romantic ideal. In that vein, some people have thirds or fourth of a mark would need to contact all their soulmates to have a complete mark. Marks are very much for One Person (or, occasionally, Two or Three Specific People), and so not everyone meets their mate. Not everyone has the means. They could be anywhere in the world! But unfortunately, there's still an idea that even if you're with a partner, you'd leave them if you met your soulmate, and that other relationship are just settling.

⁂

Enter two brothers.

Roman goes starry-eyed over stories of meet-cutes and surprise soulmates. He wants to know if he'll feel it, as his mark completes. Someday, when he meets his Someone™️!!!

And then his brother, Virgil.

Virgil... doesn't have a mark. He's not sure he's heard of that before. He has some freckles, but those fade with the seasons. Soulmarks don't fade.

Roman has half a circle, and it either has petals or rays around it. A flower or a sun, he thinks. It's right on his bicep, so he frequently goes sleeveless, and greets new people by taking both their hands in his every time. Just in case.

Lots of people do that- but it makes Virgil uncomfortable. Even if he knows he'll never be the one to trigger someone's mark, he hates knowing that's what everyone expects. He'd rather keep his hands to himself. He wears his big baggy hoodie to avoid the expectant stares of people looking for his mark, and avoids skin contact as much as he can.

They grow up in a family without a ton of resources, so neither can afford to take the 'Soul Year' some teens do where they travel before going into higher education. But Roman's determined that his career will help him meet hundreds, no, thousands of people, and he will find his soulmate!

Virgil really doesn't love the whole soulmate thing, the obsession with it, the constant reminder that he doesn’t have one and will never have one. But he does love his brother.

He tries, sometimes, to temper Roman's excitement just to make sure it doesn't hurt too much if he never finds The One. But mostly he just listens as Roman waxes poetic about his hypothetical love.

Roman, for several years, went silent, assuming Virgil wouldn't want to hear it. But Virgil has just kinda accepted it, you know? He's basically like everyone who never ends up meeting their mate, except he gets to skip the years of doubt and worry that their mate might suddenly appear at any time. He knows from the get-go. He’ll never have to look back with regret or sorrow, never have to worry about disrupted relationships, never need to mourn that his hypothetical mate might have died before he could meet them. It’s fine, really.

Roman becomes a singer and songwriter, and acts on the side. Virgil does his cover art and helps him with the sound-mixing. They're a great team - and they always have been.

Virgil makes friends with the roadies and techies, happy to leave Roman in the spotlight. He dates, sometimes. It's easier when they go on tour- a short international stay means no promises, no uncomfortable conversations about the future, no intrusive knowledge of a partner's Someone™️ out there.

After years of touring, Roman is internationally known and recognized. But he's also starting to lose hope.

He's lost count of all the meet-and-greets he's been to, how many hands he's grabbed from the stage into the crowd. He makes sure to at least high-five every roadie and tech, every opening act or announcer. His songs range from fantastical to domestic, from sweet and bubbly to sorrowful and yearning, and he loves creating, he does. But he knows there's someone out there for him, and he wants to meet them so, so badly.

They're in Paris for a show, and Virgil and Roman are strolling along the Seine. It's Spring, Roman's favorite time of year, and all the trees are in bloom. It looks like something out of a Hallmark movie.

Roman sighs heavily.

Virgil bumps him with an elbow. "Hey, no moping. That's my aesthetic, no stealing."

"Vee, what if I don't ever meet them?"

"Ro-"

"I know I should keep hoping, but- I've touched so many people and still haven't found them, what if I never will?"

"Then you'll be like most of us, Ro. Find love & companionship the new way: with hard work and dating apps."

Roman nods, but sighs again. "I just... really wanna, Vee." His voice is small, like a pouting kid. 

"I know. I hope you do."

They keep walking, but Roman's practically shuffling. On the one hand, he is a fucking drama queen.

On the other hand, Virgil wants him to feel better. 

Rolling his eyes, Virgil orders ice cream from a vendor in clumsy but serviceable French and presents Roman with his sprinkle-covered cone. Just like he knew it would, it perks him up immediately.

"Chocolate! My favorite!!"

"How are you possibly older than me. You are five."

"I just have childlike wonder, not a well of ennui!"

"Fuckin' dork."

"Edgy poser."

"Prima donna."

"Nerd."

Distracted, Roman walks straight into a man looking off at the river. He stumbles and trips and they both fall.

"Oh goodness gracious, forgive me, excusez moi, je suis desole! Pardonnez-moi!" he rattles off.

The man smiles, and his hands dance. Virgil realizes he's signing. Sorry, I didn't see you there!

 Luckily, Virgil understands it - he’s taken classes in ASL, just for kicks.

Roman knows very little sign, but he learned a couple of phrases. Sorry!

Virgil adds, It was our fault, we weren't watching.

Virgil recognizes the starry-eyed look on his brother's face. It's yet another Infatuation At First Sight, where he throws his whole heart into hoping. 

"Vee, Vee, ask him his name please?" he says, smiling for all he's worth at the curly-haired man in front of him.

Before Virgil gets a chance, he sees the man's eyes flick up and past them, and he breaks into a sunny smile. (Virgil might actually understand his brother's infatuation, for once)

Another person comes over, holding two ice creams. Virgil does a slight double-take. Like him, this newcomer chooses not to show very much skin. But they've covered even their hands. Ice cream somehow looks funny in a gloved hand.

Handing one to the first man, they start signing with one hand, far faster than he can follow. He catches a couple of signs he recognizes - gestures to himself & Roman, are you okay, something that either is we're late or shoo.

The first man is still smiling, though, and whatever he says must be okay, because the newcomer turns to them. They speak with a lilting accent, something not quite Parisian. "Please forgive my barging in- I can't exactly call for Patton from across the walkway.  My name is Dante. And you are?"

"I'm Roman, and this is Virgil, and it is wonderful to meet you!"

Virgil signs along with his brother's words, and sees Patton's eyes crinkle happily as he greets them both.

Roman has clearly also noticed Dante's gloves, but turns to Patton. With a slight bit of hesitation, he speaks and signs at once, "May I shake your hand?"

Virgil is sure he's not imagining the minute pursing of Dante's lips, but Patton's nodding and reaching out and so is Roman.

Roman is clearly holding his breath, and Virgil is too, both braced for opposite outcomes. But Patton's small, tan hand is wrapped in Roman's larger one and both sets of eyes are huge. 

Virgil's eyes flick to Roman's bicep, exposed as always, the white mark a stark contrast to his dark skin, looking like a sun or maybe a flower and-

"Holy shit-" Virgil breathes.

Roman, however, is not looking at his arm. He's staring directly into Patton's dark eyes with a smile that looks confused and elated all at once, and their hands haven't parted. 

Patton's eyes are just a huge, even huger thanks to his glasses.

"It's you," Roman says, wonder in his voice. Patton seems to read his lips, because he smiles somehow even bigger than before and signs It's you! back.

And sure enough, the mark on Roman's arm is a full circle, a full sun or flower, and Virgil's head is reeling.

Virgil's not sure what to say- the two soulmates seem content to keep staring and smiling and holding hands. But Virgil's just... nervous. Soulmate or not, this ‘Patton’ is a stranger, but Roman looks like he might never move from his side. Fuck, they can't even communicate both ways, Roman knows practically no sign and he just used up the only full sentence he’s ever learned.

He looks nervously at Patton's companion. Dante is staring too, seemingly unaware of the ice cream dripping down their glove.

Dante starts to sign something, realizes Patton can't see them, reaches out to tap Patton on the shoulder, then stops before they can touch, hand falling to their side. They look down and finally notice their ice cream, and blanch, pulling out napkins to clean their glove before it stains.

Virgil digs into his knapsack and pulls out a wet wipe and offers it. "This might help more."

Dante looks up, staring at Virgil without a shred of comprehension until Virgil waves the wipe once more. They take it with a quiet, "Merci."

They turn away, wiping off their glove and tossing the rest of their ice cream into the trash. They wiggle their fingers, clearly uncomfortable with the damp fabric. 

Virgil shifts awkwardly. He should say something, but what do you even say in this situation? He has no idea what their relation is to Pat- oh fuck, what if they were dating and Roman's just swooped in and ruined it?

In his tried-and-true method of awkward small talk with new roadies in new cities, he says, in French, "So, Paris, yeah? Know any good cafes near here?"

Dante shakes themself a bit and turns to look at Virgil. "Ah, yes. There's a patisserie just on the next block. Shall we relocate them and stop blocking the tourists?"

Virgil nods and looks over at his brother. He weighs his options of interruption, and decides on flicking Roman in the temple.

"Ow! Fuck! Vee!?!"

"You're blocking traffic, dumbass."

"I'm having a moment."

"Well come have a mocha. You can keep having your moment and I can have coffee. C'mon." 

He sees Dante signing to Patton too, explaining the plan but much more politely. Roman and Patton continue holding hands, but follow them down the block.

They get Roman and Patton sitting at a table in a picturesque cafe, and walk to the bar to order. Virgil orders his go-to of a double shot and gets Roman his mocha. Dante orders themself a latte and a vanilla cappuccino for Patton. Sitting at the bar waiting, Virgil looks over.

"So. That lunkhead over there is my brother."

Dante nods. "And Patton is my. Well. You might not know what it means, so don't immediately freak out, okay? But it's called a queerplatonic partner."

Virgil can feel the nervousness melt away. "Oh, phew. Yeah, I know what it means. So Roman's not homewrecking by being a discovered soulmate?"

"Well. I certainly hope not. But I know not everyone really, uh. Gets it. Especially with the soulmate sh- stuff. Things."

Virgil grins. "You were about to say soulmate shit, weren't you."

"...No."

"You're a terrible liar."

Dante winks. "I might surprise you."

Virgil raises an eyebrow. "Oh that's how we're gonna play it?"

"I don't play, monsieur. I just win."

"Okay then, here's a test. Why the gloves?"

Dante automatically goes to adjust them, and looks up at Virgil. Their eyes drift down to his hoodie and back up. "I think you know exactly why."

"You don't have-?"

"Nope. I don't have one either."

"I thought I was-"

"The only one?"

"Apparently not."

Virgil looks over at Patton, sitting with Roman. They don't seem to be even attempting to talk still, just staring and holding hands.

"With the QPP- are you aromantic? Do you think that's why?" He gestures vaguely at their whole body, but he’s never been quite as elegant in his gestures as Roman is.

Dante opens their mouth to speak, but stops, and sighs. "That's what I've been saying. It was easier, to say maybe this was for a purpose. And I do love Patton with all my platonic heart and I will kill your brother if he hurts him."

"The feeling’s mutual."

"But, no. I'm not fully aro. I still have romantic attraction and all that, I've just been guaranteed that even if I want it, I'll always be someone's secondary love so. Might as well lean in, right? Make the system work somewhat in my favor?"

Virgil opens his mouth to respond, to object, when the barista calls out their drinks, and then they're carefully carrying full mugs across the cafe and finding a table next to the couple.

Patton appears to be teaching Roman how to sign his name. Roman is even managing to pay attention.

"I get that, uh, reluctance. The playing-it-safe thing," Virgil says quietly, so only Dante can hear. "We travel a lot. That's a good excuse to avoid the whole fucking system. No conversations about who'll leave who when the mark shows up, because I'll be leaving in a month, tops. And people looking for hookups barely poke you to check for the mark before just... getting on with life. No expectations, no holding their breath or unrealistic disappointment."

Dante smiles weakly. "Well, good to know for when I need to start dating. I think I'm about to have a lot more free time."

"Until Roman needs to travel on again. We're here for three full weeks, but-"

"What is it you do, that you both travel so much?"

"You know Sun Prince, the singer?"

"Yeah?"

"You're looking at him," Virgil says wryly, tipping his head in Roman's direction.

Dante's eyes go wide. "Oh, that's why he looks familiar."

"So Patton probably didn’t recognize him either?"

"Nah, he tends to like EDM and electronic things the most, for the bassline. Clubbing with a deaf partner is great - the priority is just feeling the music, and we don't have to yell to hear each other."

Virgil and Dante continue to chat quietly on casual topics, but Virgil's leg is bouncing. He wants to ask the bigger questions, but it feel like prying. It's none of his business, really, right? 

But it's Roman's happiness on the line. And Virgil will do anything and everything to protect his brother. Even if it means awkwardness.

"So, uh. Did y'all have the Conversation™️ before now?"

Dante raises a questioning eyebrow in response.

"The 'what happens if he meets his soulmate' conversation. Don't tell me Pat's the only one you've ever dated?"

Dante blinks in a way that implies that were they a lesser being, they might have blushed. "Actually, he is. But yes, we've had that conversation. I'll never get in the way of Pat's romantic love and his soulmate… destiny, ou comme tu veux. I just want to still have a part in his life."

They're tugging at their gloves again, even though their face remains smooth. Virgil recognizes a nervous tic when he sees one. And god does he recognize the sentiment.

Not that any of his past partners had ever wanted to stick around in return. Why would they? He wasn't their soulmate. They hadn't decided to "settle" yet.

"I can't speak for him, but- I think Roman will be open to that," Virgil offers. "He loves performing, so we'll probably still be traveling a fair amount. But I mean. I think he'd understand that you two are a unit the same way me and him are. Like, yeah, we're brothers, but we've been each other's lifeline our whole lives, and that's not about to change. Even if he's finally found his Other Half."

Dante looks up gratefully. "I can tell you love him. And- I hope you're right."

"I should be. If Roman's a dick about it, I'll smack him upside the head."

That surprises a laugh out of Dante. They finally pull off their glove entirely, shaking it out and letting it dry on the table. "I won't interfere with them, you'll encourage Roman to not interfere with us. Do we have a deal, then?"

They offer their bare hand to shake. For once, Virgil doesn't hesitate, but takes it immediately.

Skin hits skin. Virgil finds an agreeable little shudder running down his spine as he appreciates for the first time how attractive this person is. Elegant chestnut curls, heterochromatic eyes that are dancing with delight, and disarming smile. 

Dante winks as they withdraw their hand. "What, not going to check for your completed mark now, just in case?"

Virgil grins back. "No, but I can help you look for yours later, if you want."

"Is that a proposition? Monsieur, goodness, you move fast," Dante replies, fluttering their eyelashes.

Virgil shrugs. "It could be one. You know, we're clearly gonna be around each other a lot. They found each other the old fashioned way. Maybe we could try something a bit... less traditional."

Dante smiles. "I'd like that a lot, Virgil. Should we break into cloud nine over there and ask them about the future now?"

Virgil nods. Soulmark or not, the future's looking pretty good.

tag list: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt ​@thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @hawthornshadow @mariniacipher and obligatory royality tag @notveryglittery and anxceit tag @vintage-squid

[swanqueeneverafter]

Sins of the Past Pt.11

Camelot. Past. Throne Room. (Soldiers force Uther to his knees in front of Morgause.) Morgause: “Well, Uther, how the mighty have fallen. I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.” (Morgause removes Uther’s crown.) Uther: “This is unlawful. You cannot do this. You have no right to the throne!” Morgana: (Entering from behind the throne:) “No, she does not. But I do. I am your daughter, after all." (Morgana sits on the throne. Morgause nods to a soldier, and the soldier shoves Geoffrey of Monmouth forward, the queen’s crown in his hands:) Geoffrey: “By the power vested in me, I crown thee Morgana Pendragon, Queen of Camelot.” (Soldiers push Uther into a bow. Morgana and Morgause smirk.) Morgana’s Chamber. (Shaken from her daydream by Guinevere’s voice, Morgana turns to face her.) Morgana: “I’m sorry, Guin, what was that?” Guinevere: “I asked if I may clear away the dishes, My Lady?” (Morgana beams at her.) Morgana: “Of course. I’m sorry, I was thinking about what to wear. I must dress.” (Guinevere watches Morgana suspiciously as she leaves the room.)

Storybrooke. Present. Mr. Gold's Shop. (Hook and Rumplestiltskin stand waiting in the shop when Emma arrives.) Rumplestiltskin: "Ah, finally the Sheriff decides to join us." Emma: "All right, Gold, this better be good." Rumplestiltskin: "Gold? Gold? You forget my dear, those days are behind me. The man you see before you has only one name (Gives a little bow:) Rumplestiltskin." Emma: (Sighs, turns to Hook:) "Do you know what I'm doing here?" Hook: "No, he hasn't even told me why I'm here yet." Rumplestiltskin: "Well, we can't leave the Sheriff's department short-handed now can we? Which brings me to you, Killian, my oldest friend. (Hook and Emma exchange looks while Rumple reaches under the counter for something:) For far too long, you and I were enemies, and I realise what I took from you on that fateful day can never be replaced. Except, maybe, for this." (Emma steps backwards as Rumple produces a mason jar containing a severed left hand.) Hook: "Is that...?" Rumplestiltskin: "Yours? Yes it is." Emma: (Disgusted:) "You mean to tell me you've been keeping Hook's hand in a jar for what, three hundred years?" Rumplestiltskin: "As the Dark One and indeed as Mr. Gold, I enjoyed collecting things with great personal value." Emma: "And by that you mean things that belonged to other people and were valuable to them." Rumplestiltskin: (Continues, tapping the jar:) "But this? This means a lot to both of us." Hook: "Aye, that it does." Rumplestiltskin: "Which is why, after all these years, as one of the few items remaining in my shop, I'd finally like to return it to you." Hook: (Smirks:) "Well, that's... I'm not sure quite what to say." Emma: "Sounded like a confession to me. I could arrest him if you wanted me to?" Rumplestiltskin: "That won't be necessary, Sheriff. For as I am a truly changed man, I no longer practice magic." Emma: "Well after three hundred years, you'd think you wouldn't need to ‘practice’." Rumplestiltskin: (Ignoring Emma's riposte:) "Which means I could not simply return Killian's hand myself." Emma: "Yeah, yeah I get it. You want me to do it. So why didn’t you just call Maleficent?” Rumplestiltskin: “I did, but there was no answer.” Hook: “Glad I’m not the only one’s calls she doesn’t take.” Emma: “Let’s get on with it.” (Closing her eyes, Emma concentrates and magically restores Hook's hand. Hook wiggles his fingers and smiles.) Hook: “Well, how about that? (To Rumple:) Drinks tonight, to celebrate?” Rumplestiltskin: “I’d be delighted.” Hook: “You’re on. (Turns to leave:) Swan, much appreciated.” Emma: “You’re welcome. (Hook exits. To Rumple:) Will that be all?”

Rumplestiltskin: “Actually, not quite yet. If you’ll follow me to the back?” The Back Room. (Entering the back room, Rumple holds the curtain open for Emma.) Rumplestiltskin: “There’s just one last item that remains in my shop, and it belongs to you.” Emma: (Enters, sees her unicorn mobile still hanging from the ceiling:) “You still have that? I thought my mom would’ve bought it from you by now?” Rumplestiltskin: (Shakes his head:) “Snow said it brought back too many painful memories for her. I thought you might like it, for Maria. (Emma smiles at the thought:) Perhaps it can finally fulfill it’s purpose and bring joy to your little one?” (Emma eyes him suspiciously.) Emma: “You could have given that to me at any time, why now?” Rumplestiltskin: (Pointing to the mobile:) "That represents all the innocence that was lost because of the Dark Curse. A curse I gave to Regina and which your wife cast after being manipulated by me. For a chance to see my son again, I tore countless families apart, including yours. In return, despite everything, it was because of you, Emma, that I got to see Baelfire again. It's because of you that I have a grandson to remind me of Bae every day. So, I just thought that, even though we're not technically related, if Maria ever desired to have two grandfathers in her life then..." Emma: (Placing her hand on his:) "Of course you're her grandfather. We're family, right? (Rumple nods:) Thank you, for the mobile." Rumplestiltskin: "You're welcome." The Dragon's Lair. (Henry films Drizella on his phone while she talks about her mother.) Drizella: "I mean I know everything my mother did was about bringing my sister back, but it just made me resent her so much. I was her daughter too. I was right there and yet... (Sighs:) Of course I realise I may have overreacted with the whole dark cloud of hate thing. So sorry, again, to all those watching." Henry: (Stops filming:) "That was great, Drizella." Drizella: "Really?" Henry: "Yeah. Thank you so much for doing this interview. I mean, I know it can't be easy to talk about what happened, but I really think this will help people to understand where you were coming from back then." Drizella: "It just feels so... I hated my mother for the longest time and I never got to resolve that." Henry: (Nods:) "I know it's tough. I still struggle with how I treated my mom after finding out about the original Dark Curse." Drizella: “You know, it's weird. I just... I feel safe with you. I mean, I know I can trust you with my story.” Henry: “Wow. Well, I'm, uh I'm flattered.” Drizella: “It's not just because we're friends. You're a fantastic writer.” Regina: (Entering:) “Yes he is. Hey, Henry, Robin needs your help in the back. The keg-room door is jammed again. Would you mind?” Henry: “Not a problem. Has anyone heard from Maleficent yet?” Regina: (Shakes her head:) “Not yet. (Henry leaves. To Drizella:) I don’t know what you’re up to, but you stay away from Henry.” Drizella: “Oh, what a threat! Very Evil Queen. Before you judge me too harshly, Regina, just think where you’d be if no one ever gave you a second chance. (Stands, picking up her bag:) Tell Henry I'll call him later, so that we can, you know, finish the interview.” (Drizella leaves.)

Wonderland. (Ella and Will continue their journey through Wonderland, spotting wanted posters every quarter mile or so.) Will: “My, that is a handsome chap.” Ella: (Pulling down the poster:) “That is a wanted chap. (Reading:) ‘For theft, fraud, posturing, impostering, gambling, disturbing the peace, and... public nudity’?” Will: “In my defense, I was tied to a tree and stripped of my clothes, so that one wasn't really my fault.” Ella: “These signs are everywhere. The Caterpillar must want you badly. (Reading the last line of the poser:) ‘Wanted with or without head’.” Will: “Right. We should split up. You don't need a thief, much less a wanted thief, getting in the way of you finding your mum.” Ella: “No.” Will: “You don't need me. You got this all sorted on your own.” Ella: “You said you had a way to prove whether my mother was still out there or not. So what is it?” Will: (Sighs:) “Have you ever heard of the Forget-Me-Knot?” Ella: “The what?” Will: “It's an incredibly valuable enchanted piece of rope. (He plucks a long blade of grass and loops it into a circle:) That when tied together at one end like a lasso makes a sort of round picture frame.” Ella: (Unimpressed:) “Wow, that is magic.” Will: “The magic part comes when you look through it. Because when you do, you can see the last thing that happened at any particular place.” Ella: “So if we held it in places where we suspect my mother may have visited, we might just catch a glimpse of her. (Will nods:) Well it’s a long shot. But at least it’s something. Where do we find this terribly useful item?” Will: “Yeah. That's gonna be the hard part.” Ella: “I don't care. I can handle whatever it is. I'm too close to finding her.” Will: “I believe the Caterpillar has the Forget-Me-Knot.” Ella: “That's not a solution. That's another problem.” Will: “It will be okay. (They approach a door which is set inside a large mushroom:) Wait here. I'll pop in and get it.” Ella: “You'll pop in? To the creature who has all of Wonderland hunting you? You think he'll just hand over the knot?” Will: “He likes to make deals, and I have a deal for him.” Ella: “You think he'll take it and not just kill you on sight?” Will: “There's always an element of risk.” Ella: “You're willing to do this for me?” Will: “Don't get all mushy, Ella. I'm doing this for me. This thief's gonna clear his name.” Ella: “How about we go in together?” Will: “Fine.” (They reach the door and, after a moment’s hesitation, Will turns the handle and they enter.) Camelot. Past. Uther’s Chambers. (Morgana checks under the bed for the mandrake root.) Guinevere: “Have you lost something, My Lady?” Morgana: (Stands:) “My earring. I thought I might have dropped it when I was in here yesterday. How is he?” Guinevere: “Much better. We found the source of his sickness. He was being enchanted.” Morgana: “Enchanted?” Guinevere: “You need not worry, My Lady. I’ve been treating the remainder of his ailments. He’ll make a full recovery.” Morgana: “That is a relief.” Guinevere: “Indeed, My Lady.”

Countryside. (Morgause rides out to speak with Cenred.) Cenred: “My dear Morgause.” Morgause: “Cenred.” Cenred: “My army shall be here by nightfall. (Morgause smiles:) I’m glad that pleases you.” Morgause: “I’ll wait and see if you deliver before I say that I am pleased.” Cenred: “And when I do?” Morgause: “Then I will give you a feast that you will never forget.” Neverland. Present. (Carrying Maria between them, Emma and Regina walk across an open field.) Regina: "Oh, I've heard stories of this mountaintop where you can actually stand on top of the clouds." Emma: “Yeah, sounds nice. Perhaps when we’re settled in we should try it.” Regina: “Settled in where is the question. Are you sure this is where Rumple said to go?” Emma: “Yep. Look right there, next to that big rock.” Regina: “I don't see anything.” Emma: “Exactly. Come on.” (Walking together, they head towards the rock only to disappear from sight.) Pan’s Hideout. (Reappearing inside a luxurious pavilion, Regina looks around, at a loss for words.) Regina: “What is this?” Emma: “Somewhere where we can disappear. It's invisible from the outside, but on the inside, it's quite cozy. It was Pan’s secret hideout. Rumple and Belle learned about it while they were off on their world tour with Gideon.” Regina: “Well what a lovely place to rest our weary feet. (Walking deeper into the space:) Is that a bath tub?” Emma: (Smiles:) “Now we can roam the entire island, and we'll have this place we can return to.” Regina: “It's perfect.” Camelot. Past. Woods. (Morgana and Morgause meet once again in the woods.) Morgana: “Where have you been?” Morgause: “What’s wrong, sister?” Morgana: “They have thwarted us. The mandrake root has been discovered and destroyed. Your enchantment’s been broken.” Morgause: “Do not worry. The root has already done its work, and Cenred’s army are less than a day from the city. (At Morgana’s uncertain look:) Perhaps there is one more card left to play. One that will ensure Uther’s complete and utter incapacity.” Morgana: “Tell me, what do you have planned?” Morgause: “Have you ever heard of a creature known as the Jabberwocky?”

Storybrooke. Present. Sheriff's Station. (Lily and Hook are talking at the station while Lily inspects her father's newly restored hand.) Hook: "Can you believe it? After all these years, I'm finally made whole again." Lily: "Hm. I thought that you became whole after finding me and marrying mom?" Hook: "Well of course I did. You know what I meant." Lily: (Smiles:) "I do. I'm really happy for you, Dad, but if I don't finish this checklist for Elsa's birthday party, Anna's liable to do much worse to me than chop off my hand." Hook: "Anything I can help you with?" Lily: "Have you heard from Mom? She was supposed to be dealing with the cake but I called her earlier and there was no response." Hook: "Yeah, there's a lot of that going around. I'll try her cell again but if not, what can I do?" Lily: "Well, Mom was due to pick up the cake from the bakery today so if you can't get hold of her, do you think you can do it?" Hook: "No problem." Lily: "Great. I better make a move over to Arendelle to help set up for the party. Are you sure you can handle this place by yourself?" Hook: "I guarantee it. Besides, the Crocodile's dropping by later, he can always lend me a hand. Pun intended." Lily: "Hm. Well just remember, there's no drinking on the job." Hook: (Crosses his heart:) "I'll do you proud, I promise." (Lily gathers the last of her things then leaves the station. Taking a seat at a desk, Hook pulls out his phone and tries calling Maleficent again.) The Southern Moor. (Surrounded by Macintosh’s men Mulan sits, bound in chains, while Lord Macintosh speaks to her.) Lord Macintosh: “You intrigue me, Mulan. Your story is legendary. You should be riding at the head of a vast, unstoppable army and yet you choose to travel the realms with your girlfriend rescuing villagers from warlords and thieves. Why don’t you join us? You could be a powerful ally.” Mulan: “Because I believe in a fair and just land.” Lord Macintosh: “And you think Merida represents that? She has already betrayed us by allying with our enemies.” Mulan: “So you betrayed your Queen because she brought you peace?” Lord Macintosh: “With Merida gone, our people can once again be proud of who we are without bowing down to our oppressors.” Merida: (Arriving:) “Not if I have any say in it.” Lord Macintosh: “Merida?” Merida: “Let my friend go, unless you want to end up black as well as blue.” Lord Macintosh: “You and what army?” Merida: “This one. (Lancelot and his army arrive on horseback. To Macintosh’s men:) In a moment, you're gonna be very, very sorry... unless you’ve decided that you’d rather keep me as your Queen?” Lord Macintosh: “You see men? She’s brought our enemies directly into our lands. (To Merida:) Relinquish your crown!” Merida: “After everything my father did to create peace between the clans? Never! Clan Dun Broch is the rightful leader of the four clans, and I am the sole and rightful Queen! (Draws her sword:) You’ve seen what I can do with an arrow. Do you really want to see what I can do with a sword? Now let Mulan go! (As Macintosh’s men look to him for leadership, the sight of Lancelot and his army standing behind Merida makes Lord Macintosh’s decision quite clear. Macintosh throws down his sword and his men throw down their weapons and surrender. To Lord Macintosh:) You're lucky someone once taught me the value of mercy.”

(At these words, Macintosh’s eyes widen in fear. Believing that she must make for an imposing figure, Merida allows herself a self-satisfied smile. Upon hearing a low, menacing growl from behind her however, Merida soon realises the true cause of Lord Macintosh’s terrified stare.) Lord Macintosh: (With the wolf stalking towards him:) “Call your beast off, I’ve already surrendered to you!” Merida: (Shrugging:) “I’m afraid she doesn’t answer to me, Macintosh.” (Frozen by fear, Lord Macintosh prepares for the worst when the wolf bears its teeth.) Mulan: (Freed from her chains:) “Ruby, no! I’m okay. They didn’t hurt me, I’m fine. (Approaching the wolf slowly, in a soft, calming voice:) I’m alright, I promise.” (Motioning to Merida, Mulan catches the red hood and drapes it over the wolf. After a few seconds, Ruby emerges from under the cloak and wraps her arms tightly around Mulan.) Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. (Henry is packing a few items to join his family in Neverland when the doorbell rings.) Henry: (Answering the door:) "Hey." Drizella: "Hey. I came as soon as I got your message." Henry: "Yeah, thanks for coming. (Steps aside to allow Drizella entry:) I just thought, seeing as I'm going away on this quick trip that we'd finish the interview before I left?" Drizella: "Sure. Although will Mama bear approve of me being here?" Henry: (Smiles:) "She's just being protective. To her I'm still her little boy I guess." Drizella: "Well, from what I see... (Taking a seat on a chair in the living room:) You're all grown up." Henry: "Thanks. (Taking a seat opposite:) So, where were we?" Drizella: "Let's see. My mother's dead, my sister's off feeling sorry for herself and I'm completely alone so, yeah I'm doing just great." Henry: "Still no ideas on what you want to do with your life?" Drizella: "Revenge was the whole reason I even came to this town in the first place. I spent my whole life hating my mother and trying to prove I wasn't worthless and now... (Shrugs:) I don't know." Henry: "Have you ever considered piracy?" Drizella: "What?" Henry: "Sorry, bad joke. Although I do know a few pirates if you decide to branch out." Drizella: (Chuckles:) "I just feel kind of lost. I feel like you're the only person I can talk to about this. You understand me." Henry: (Nods:) "I'm trying to." Drizella: (Putting her hand on his:) “We’ve both lost people that we care about. My mother, (Placing her hand on his chest:) your father. We're both wounded birds. Right? I mean, maybe... (Sliding off her chair to kneel beside him:) maybe we can fix each other.” (Suddenly, Drizella pulls Henry in for a kiss.) Neverland. Hideout. (After a long lazy afternoon travelling the island, Regina and Emma arrive back to the hideout and share a romantic dinner. Having washed the dishes while Regina gives Maria a bath, Emma kisses her wife and promises something special for the evening. With the baby finally asleep, Regina stands and stretches before walking back towards the large four poster bed. Noticing the curtains are drawn, Regina mentally prepares herself for what she's about to discover. Drawing back the curtains, Regina lets out a sigh of relief. Staring down at Emma who is laying on the bed, half dressed and wholly asleep, Regina can't help but smile. Making quick work of her own clothing, Regina gently eases Emma out of her leather jacket and bra before pulling the covers up.) Emma: (Waking up briefly:) "Hey." Regina: (Smiles:) "Hey." Emma: (Brow furrows:) "Did I...?" Regina: "Shh. Go back to sleep. You'll need the energy for tomorrow." Emma: (Sleepily:) "Mm 'kay. (Kisses Regina's nose:) G'night." (Chuckling at her wife's sleepiness, she rolls Emma onto her side, holding her her close as she too falls into a deep, contented sleep.)

[angelspigeon]

Sun of Corona - Chapter 04

This was a big big fic at first and I only split it up so it’s easier to read. So, this chapter is ‘shorter’ !!!

You still can read it on AO3 though, just behind the Door! > |   °|<

Words : 1633

“Isa? … Isa?”

His head was heavy, unbelievably heavy…

“Isa!!!” a happy voice spurt out.

And then a weigh on him, so quick that his head hit the floor and he groaned.

“Ah! Sorry!! I’m so happy you’re here! You’re back!!”

Isa blinked, trying to see with his view blurred. He heard his Heart hammering in his chest when he saw Lea. His fingers twitched and he brushed the cheek sparkle with a thousand of soft freckles… He always said it was because of the kisses of an Angels and with time, he just pretended his skin was keeping the memories of every of his kisses…

“Lea?”

“Yay!! It’s me! It’s you!”

Isa felt a kiss on his lips and he still was a bit in the blur but gave him a tender look. He just tried to understand everything. His last memories were him dying in Lea’s arms. If he couldn’t come back, dying there what was he really wished though he knew it was horrible for the one he loved. But there… there he was next to Lea. Lea crying while landing kiss on his skin.

“Lea, you’re hugging me too tight,” Isa said.

“Sorry!”

It was hard for Lea but he let go on him. He was just so afraid to see him vanish. Since one year, it seemed to be their fate. But Isa was there… just there, within his reach.

“You’re doing okay? You need anything?”

“I’m fine, Lea… Just a bit…” His eyes moved in the room as he tried to fix his attention, find back his marks, and he froze seeing Xion and Roxas, both waiting next to the door. “… lost.”

“It’s going to be okay. Take your time. I’ll bring you water and…”

Isa grabbed his cheeks, seeing the red marking the line around his eyes but also the dark circle. And if it was only that… Lea was absolutely beautiful. Not just because he loved him more than anything in the World but because he had his hair tied backward. And what about the clothes that were absolutely unusual for him. No more outfits you would quickly put on or the eternal Organization coat. Not, this was a nice and classy pant with a jacket… though this one couldn’t hide it the t-shirt had a big Chocobo on it…

“How many time?”

“What?”

“How much time it took for my body to be recompleted?”

Lea didn’t reply, looking down. He could have reply but he was afraid to do it on the other hand. Because it would obviously hurt one of them. Or both of them…

“One year.”

“Roxas!” Lea protested at him.

“Almost one year,” Xion rectified, her hands clenched around her pink dress adorned with flowers.

“Al…most one year?” Isa replied.

“Yeah…”

“We were about to go to Corona when Ienzo called,” Roxas pointed out.

His voice was quite bittersweet.

It wasn’t a surprise that Lea would want to reach his family if he could. He wanted to matter for so many people and the events had let him more alone than before. Isa was truly not surprised. But now, seeing Roxas with a straight pants and a shirt, and Xion so pretty, without talking about Lea… it sure meant something.

One year… it was long.

“You… you’re going to a wedding?” Isa asked.

“The wedding is over since three months,” Roxas replied. “You would have loved it.”

“Who… Who it is?”

“Eugene! He’s nice! A bit poser but nice. And he got really along with Rapunzel!!” Xion said.

“Rapunzel? Why?”

“It’s his wife,” Lea said. “Better them to get really along together, or I would have to kick some ass and I’m too busy lately,” he joked.

“Rapunzel it’s… what?” Isa asked, confused.

“He kissed you, dumbass, Lea is really still into you! You can tell since he cries every night for you!”

“Roxas stop that!” Lea blushed.

“What?! I’m helping!” he smiled, making Xion giggle a little.

“Yeah, he never stop talk about you!” she said.

“Stop that! You two!” he said, his cheeks trying to be as red as his hairs.

And reached that color when he felt lips against his and heard a tender ‘I love you’ swirl in the air. He pressed his forehead against his and kissed him softly.

“We were about to leave but… maybe you can join? We can grab some clothes at your place and… leave and then… you can install yourself at home?” Lea offered.

Isa’s Heart was singing at this idea. They always dreamed to have a home and they never ever got it…

They could have a home…

But there was a little problem he didn’t want to tell to Lea. A problem he could see in the look of Roxas, mostly. The weight of his mistakes. He had hurt the teenagers, they would be in right to hate him and he deeply believed they really hate him. He had been mean to them. To protect Axel. And while he was sure he didn’t do that wrong, seeing the events they had to fight against, he knew he really did badly.

Will they only accept them in this journey?

In their home?

“If Roxas and Xion agree, I agree too,” he replied.

“Nice,” Roxas said.

Bittersweet?

He was putting the possible sorrow of Lea on them?

Isa couldn’t step back now but he did a mistake, again.

“More we are, funnier it is, right?” Xion smiled.

“Nice! So we go get your stuff and we go to Corona with the Gummi ship!”

“If I may… I prefer not to have to go to my parent’s… You know them, if they can believe I’m dead, it’s perfect.”

“Got it. It’d been age since I didn’t sneak in your room,” Lea smiled. “You take care of them, okay?”

“Me?”

Lea pressed a kiss on his cheek. “Yes, you! We’re leaving just after!” He blew him a kiss then moved backward and left the place.

From here, Isa’s house wasn’t so far away…

Isa glanced to the teenagers. And felt something in his guts…

  Pushing the door open, Xion entered and extended her arm with a smile.

“Tadaaaaam, it’s our place! Axel will be there soon.”

“Yes…” Isa felt uncomfortable. “Where is Lea’s room?”

“Aren’t you supposed to take care of us?” Roxas asked.

“Is it what you want?” he replied.

They looked at each other with opposed feelings. Xion cleared her throat with a soft smile.

“It’s upstairs, at right. Don’t worry, we can easily take care of ourselves! Axel is always afraid!”

Isa just nodded before moving away and going to Lea’s room.

This place was immediately more welcoming. It was warm and garish, just like Lea. The bed was undone and there was a slight stuffy smell so Isa just came to the windows to open them, wishing his lover won’t hate him for that.

He supposed no.

One year…

It wasn’t abnormal he had needed so many time. His body had a parasite within him, Xehanort’s remnant… Without it, it could becoming what it was at the beginning however… one year. One year was just horrible. How could he had left Lea alone for so long? He hated himself… It wasn’t his fault and yet, he thought it was…

He leaned over the windowsill and looked outside… strangely, nothing had changed…

 “You didn’t stay with the kiddos?”

Isa jumped, hearing the voice, and he turned toward Lea who smiled to him, a fair amount of clothes in his arms.

“I see you’re already saving my room from my own dumbness! But don’t worry, it stayed alive one year!”

“I’m sorry Lea. For the times, for my mistakes or for not staying… with the “kiddos”. I couldn’t… I don’t think it’s correct to force them to be around me when they can avoid it.”

“You say you’re sorry for your mistakes… But were they?” he asked.

Isa frowned.

Lea came to his bed, completely done, the blankets perfectly tugged, and put down the clothes.

“Of course. I made you suffer. And them. I kept the distance between us… I wanted to protect you, however, I’m conscious I made you suffer.”

“Yeah. And I know I have been a dick too. I could have come see you, I could have beg for you to stay with me? I could have saved you in other way than letting you die! Maybe you fucked up but I fucked up too. With you and with them. They forgave me and I’m sure they will be able to see how awesome you are!”

Isa let out a sound of disdain.

“I doubt of that.”

“They fucked up too,” Lea said. “We were all thinking about our own interest, what we wanted and nothing more. We thought we had to act like that because we had no Heart and we had Heart… We just believed the wrong words… I know you since forever. You saw me fuck up more often than ever…” Lea let out a sigh. “Give yourself a chance. You weren’t wrong on everything. And I kept talking about you to them, they know you are not the Monster you were showing to them. Everything will change from now on.”

Isa approached him and took his hand.

“I’m still sorry. I made you suffer. I can’t excuse myself for that.”

“I excuse you for that and I will love you as you deserve it, no matter how much you will hate you. I’ve so much love for you anyway. I’ll show you how awesome you are,” he swore, caressing his cheek.

He slid a hairclip in the blue hairs, and just with the sound, Isa knew it was this hairclip Lea offered him when they were kid. It has a Bunny on it…

[jennycalendar]

arch-nemeses

read it on ao3!

“Oi, wanker,” Ripper was shouting after him, “your band can’t play for shit, you know that?”

Spike turned, long coat whirling out in a way that combined grace and manliness, and shot back, “My band plays a damn sight better than your band. What do they call you? Wretched? Sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

for @jackalopingintothevoid!!! i’m pretty sure you’ll know what this is from the summary.

this is a horribly short thing, and i will have to eventually write u one or more very long fics, bc i have a few ideas. left u a longer note on ao3; love u bunches <33

there is no actual resolution or character growth because this is ethan and he learns nothing, ever. i love him.

Ethan wasn’t threatened by Ripper’s girl. He’d met her a handful of times, showing up to cause a bit of havoc just because he felt like it, and she’d always struck him as a girl with an uninterestingly kind heart, which didn’t really threaten him. He wasn’t bothered by Ripper having some annoyingly pretty little angel of a girlfriend, largely because he knew that he was still Ripper’s unbelievably sexy arch-nemesis, and really, that worked better for him. All the delicious sexual tension, the lingering animosity…it suited him much better than the nauseating domesticity that was Ripper and his girl.

And then came Spike.

“You fucking ponce,” Ripper was shouting as Ethan entered the Bronze, held back by his Slayer, his girl, and that annoying boy who was always wearing heelys. “You dye your hair, you piece of shit, c’mere and tell me to my face that I’m a poser!”

“Seriously?” said Ripper’s girl, who appeared to be trying to hold Ripper back and check her Snapchat at the same time.

Ethan, of course, operated under the reasonable assumption that these threats were directed at him. After all, who else would Ripper be threatening? No one else inspired that level of anger, or that delightfully sexy look of bone-crushing fury in Ripper’s eyes—

“You’re. A. Poser.” A British bloke with bleached hair, unbelievable cheekbones, and a clearly-vintage leather jacket stalked over to Ripper, all but growling. “And don’t get all up in my face with me, Watcher-boy, I could snap you like a twig!”

“You’re not half as able to snap me as you think you are,” Ripper shot back.

“You sure you don’t wanna just compare dicks and be done with it?” snarked Ripper’s girl, adding a determined tug to Ripper’s arm for emphasis. “Rupert, seriously, this is such a waste of time—”

“Fuck off, Janna,” said Ripper.

“What was that?” said Ripper’s girl, raising an eyebrow.

To Ethan’s amusement, Ripper winced, reconsidered, and said solemnly, “I love you, Janna.”

“That’s better,” said Ripper’s girl. “Spike, do you really have to start this bullshit after he’s had a few beers? He always starts getting punchy when he drinks—”

“I have had more than a few beers,” Spike announced, “and I should like to punch something. And I think it should like to be your boy toy’s face.”

“I’m not her boy toy,” Ripper objected. Behind him, the Slayer and the heely-boy exchanged doubtful looks. “And I’m gonna punch your face first. With my face.”

“Does that mean they’re gonna make out?” the Slayer asked Ripper’s girl.

In response, Ripper’s girl smirked, sort of shrugged, and went back to her phone, as though this sort of confrontation between Ripper and Spike was par for the course. And that infuriated Ethan, because how dare Ripper have regular confrontations with someone who wasn’t him? He’d barely been out of Sunnydale for two months this go-round, and this time he had something really terrible up his sleeve, and now he was here only to find Ripper ready to fight and/or drunkenly snog someone who wasn’t him?

It was time for direct action. Ethan strode up to the group. “Hello, Ripper,” he began, flashing his most winning smile.

Ripper, however, didn’t so much as turn around, because Spike was stalking away in the direction of the stage. “Oi, wanker,” Ripper was shouting after him, “your band can’t play for shit, you know that?”

Spike turned, long coat whirling out in a way that combined grace and manliness, and shot back, “My band plays a damn sight better than your band. What do they call you? Wretched? Sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

“IT’S A FUCKING STATEMENT,” shouted Ripper, and took advantage of his friends’ distraction to charge after Spike. Grinning furiously, Spike shoved his way through the crowds, jumping up onto the stage before Ripper could reach him.

“Yeah, I’d give that one up if I were you,” said Ripper’s girl, smirking at him like she knew what he was trying to do.

“Go fuck yourself,” said Ethan.

“Always good to see you, Ethan,” said Ripper’s girl, whose name Ethan was still refusing to remember. “Sucks that Ripper isn’t paying attention to you, huh?”

“He’s not paying attention to you either,” Ethan shot back savagely.

“Of course he isn’t,” said Ripper’s girl, looking at Ethan like he was a complete idiot. “He and Spike have this whole weird thing. He and I have a whole not-weird thing. It’s a thing.”

“Yeah, Ethan, get with the times!” piped up heely-boy. Ethan really, really hated heely-boy.

“I’m his weird thing,” Ethan persisted. “Not this Spike pillock. That accent is rubbish, and that coat is a fake, and, and, cheekbones,” he finished furiously, glaring at the stage. Spike was playing the drums very badly and pretending to ignore Ripper, who was jumping up and down in the crowd just to repeatedly flip him the bird.

“Aww,” said Ripper’s girl. “Are you jealous?”

“Shut up,” said Ethan.

“You so are!” said Ripper’s girl. She was grinning like Christmas had come early. “You think your position as his idiot arch-nemesis is usurped by a guy who looks way cuter than you!”

The Slayer gagged. “Jenny,” she said, “I have said this before, and I will say it again: you have terrible taste in guys.”

“I’m not saying Spike is cute,” said Ripper’s girl. “I’m saying, objectively, as a guy, he looks incredibly attractive.”

The Slayer considered this, then nodded. “Fair enough,” she said.

“He is not attractive,” said Ethan. “You could cut glass with those cheekbones. He looks emaciated.”

“He’s a vampire,” said heely-boy helpfully. “That kinda adds a good twenty points to the hotness factor.”

“Well—that’s—I could be a vampire!” Ethan sputtered.

“Yeah, but you’d actually look emaciated,” said the Slayer. “Spike was probably born with those cheekbones.”

“You’re just talking him up to make me angry,” said Ethan stubbornly. “He’s boring. Anyone can prance about onstage with a guitar—”

“Wait wait wait shut up,” said Ripper’s girl, smacking Ethan’s arm and holding up her phone. Ripper was throwing empty plastic cups at Spike. “I need this on video,” said Ripper’s girl.

Ethan stared, infuriated. “HE’S PROVOKING A VAMPIRE,” he shouted. “AND NONE OF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY IT?”

“Spike and Ripper cut a deal,” said the Slayer. “Kind of. He doesn’t feed on people in the Bronze, and I don’t stake him when he’s onstage playing his loud, annoying band music.”

“Plus he has a pretty serious girlfriend,” added Ripper’s girl. “They’re really cute. You know. For a murdery vampire couple.” She smiled a little. “Dru gave me a dead bird once.”

“I am not threatened,” said Ethan. “I am not threatened by Mr. Cheekbones and his stupid drums.”

“Suuuure,” said Ripper’s girl, drawing the word out into an American drawl and ending it with a lipsticked grin.

Ethan Was Not Threatened By Mr. Cheekbones And His Stupid Drums. Ethan could set a whole bunch of things on fire, more than bloody Spike and his bloody leather jacket and how dare Ripper throw empty plastic cups at Spike? Throwing relatively harmless objects at each other was strictly Ripper-And-Ethan territory, not Ripper-And-Spike territory, and Spike should go step into a well-placed ray of sunlight.

He made himself feel better by turning all the toothbrushes in Sunnydale’s local dollar store into flesh-eating slugs that grew every five minutes.

“Ethan, for the love of fucking god,” said Ripper, rounding the corner with a flesh-eating slug somehow affixed to his jacket, “what is the point of this?”

“Chaos,” said Ethan, tried to whirl in that graceful-yet-manly way Spike had managed, and fell into a lamppost.

“Yeah, I figured that,” said Ripper, waving his arm to try and shake off the slug. It didn’t seem to be working. “But your plans are usually more—”

“Dramatic?”

“I would’ve gone with fucking obnoxious, but fine.” Ripper waved his arm again. The slug came off and hit a wall, growing by a good five feet in diameter and leaving a small crater in the cement. “Dramatic works just as well, I s’pose. Why the fuck—”

“It was the first thing I could think of,” said Ethan. “Not exactly up to par, but then you seem to have lowered your standards, haven’t you?”

“Is this another dig at Jenny?” said Ripper sharply, already raising his fists. “Because if it’s another dig at Jenny—”

“I’m not talking about the boring little American,” said Ethan, rolling his eyes. “I’m talking about your new boyfriend Mr. Cheekbones.”

Ripper dropped his fists. He looked genuinely bemused. “What?”

“The vampire?” persisted Ethan. “Poncy boy? Billy Idol knockoff?”

Ripper rolled his eyes. “You’re not serious,” he said. “Spike is a pain in the arse, is all. I’m with Jen and she’s with me and that’s as far as seeing anyone goes—”

“Nauseating,” said Ethan, who had forgotten how annoyingly much Ripper talked about his girl. “And don’t feed me that garbage. All you did last time I was at the Bronze was shout at Cheekbones and tell him how terrible his hair was.”

Ripper stared at him. Slowly, he said, “Ethan, I don’t know if you know this, but telling someone that their hair is terrible doesn’t automatically mean you want to snog them in an alley.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were aware,” said Ethan, “that you already have an arch-nemesis with intense sexual tension. Do you want to know who it is?”

“No,” said Ripper, and started walking away.

Ethan followed. “It’s me,” he informed him. “Me. I’m your arch-nemesis.”

“It’s not a self-appointed bloody position,” said Ripper. “Stop trying to make yourself my arch-nemesis. It’s annoying.”

“That’s the point,” said Ethan, and picked up the flesh-eating slug, lobbing it at Ripper’s head before it could start eating him. It latched onto his jacket.

“For fuck’s sake,” said Ripper, balled up the jacket, and threw it at Ethan, beginning to walk faster. Ethan dodged the jacket, continuing to follow.

Ripper rounded a corner, then grinned; his girl was straddling a motorbike, giving the both of them an impatient look. “Here’s my ride,” he said. To his girl, he added, “Jenny, you were right. Ethan’s jealous of Spike.”

“I’m right about everything ever,” said Ripper’s girl. “How is this a surprise?” She leaned over, grinning as Ripper kissed her, and moved up on the motorbike so he could get on behind her. “Don’t worry, Ethan,” she said. “We all still think you’re terrible and evil and shit.”

Ethan resented the fact that he liked Ripper’s girl a bit more for saying that, so he just glowered in return. “I could hex your motorbike, you know,” he told her.

“I put wards on it for that exact reason,” said Ripper’s girl, and made a pleased little noise as Ripper wound his arms around her stomach. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” said Ripper. To Ethan, he added, “You are an annoying little shit and you need to get your nose out of my business,” and then buried his face in his girl’s shoulder as the motorbike set off.

“You’re not wearing a helmet,” Ethan shouted after him, which wasn’t particularly witty, but Spike had thrown him off his game a bit.

The next time Ethan showed up at the Bronze, Ripper and Spike were sloppily making out in one of the secluded couches. Delighted at the potential to sow seeds of chaos, he immediately started looking around to see if Ripper’s girl was anywhere near the scene.

She was. She had her phone out and was snapping a picture of them.

“For fuck’s sake, Calendar,” said Ethan, too infuriated to remember that he had been determined not to use Ripper’s girl’s name. “You don’t care that your boy toy’s snogging Billy Idol?”

Pocketing her phone, Calendar gave the pair a fond smile. “They pull this shit all the time when they’re drunk,” she said. “Then they pretend it never happened, so I have to get photo evidence to tease Spike about. If I could, I’d tease Ripper too, but I can’t really tease Ripper about dumb choices he made when he was drunk, ‘cause, uh,” and then she touched her lips and got a strange smile on her face, “I’m definitely a good percentage of those dumb choices. So.”

“Spike is usurping my position,” said Ethan.

Calendar snorted. “Please,” she said. “Spike couldn’t usurp your position if he tried. You’re the actual worst, Ethan, and we all know it, so would it kill you to let Ripper have a generally harmless rivalry that sometimes ends in drunken makeouts?”

Ethan decided to focus on the part of the sentence where Calendar called him the actual worst. “You’re all right, Calendar,” he informed her.

“Wow, and your good opinion means so much to me,” said Calendar, who was already heading in the direction of the dance floor.

Ethan watched her go, nodded to himself, and decided he would come back in a month and try to set her hair on fire.

[unadulterated-syd]

is this one still up? looks really fun!

Send in a couple things about you, personality + gender + gender preference,, and I'll give you a character I'd pair you with platonically (add your fandom!!)

so, im an intp, i love horror movies and mystery books (my favs at the moment are those from stalking jack the ripper series yk), im a rock/metal music lover, i draw some stuff and write abt romance&horror (usually they walk together), i play rpg and atm im trying the dungeon master thing. i dont talk to alot of people, that takes tooo much energy, few people think im rude cause tbh i dont have much patience and i dont let people step on me yk, still i care too much abt others (i just dont like them to know it), so i help anyone that asks for it on my own way, but i hate being helped cause talking abt my problems makes me feel weak. also i go for she/her and i dont have any gender preferences.

my fandoms are stranger things, twd, supernatural, wednesday, hp and alice in borderland (yep you dont write abt some of these but i like to talk abt them:])

yes all my events are still up!

like you said, i don't write for all your fandoms, however i can give you a matchup for; stranger things, the walking dead, wednesday and harry potter!

we actually have a LOT in common,, you just seem cooler than me tbh

(id love to talk to u about horror btw)

anyway!

stranger things -> this one id like to put you with eleven hopper!

the way id mostly support this is you seem a lot like max, and those two have one of the best bonds (though i ship elmax this friendship would be platonic)

youd help her with bullying problems and would NOT let her ever feel bad about herself

and tbh i think you guys could be a badass duo (not side kick way cause youd both bring equal amounts to the table)

plus i think will would warm up to you and im sure you could help him with his sexuality issues (we all know he thinks badly of himself)

but el would just really adore you, and you her i think itd be a good friendship all around

(i genuinely think shed be scared of horror movies and then she sees a slasher and then is a fanatic tbh)

the walking dead -> i think i want to put you with glenn

hear me out, him being a poser before the apocalypse and you GENUINELY teaching him about punk/rock, and horror culture

like when hes passionate about something he stands his ground,, and you stand his ground with him (you two always win bc youd always be right)

the two of you BOTH going on the ride in his red car

being friends with him since day 1 of the apocalypse and bonding

helping him in your secretive ways and him noticing it >>

he would hes very good at detecting things like that,, and would be v thankful but wouldnt tell you cause obviously you dont want to talk about it

plus hed silently understand your feelings so u dont need to express them

wednesday -> i give you ajax!!

see hypothetically, i think xaviers the type to also be super into horror and punk/rock

so ajax is already heavily exposed to your interests + i think hed be into some horror

and hes the type to enjoy a light amount of rock/punk

i think hed be big on apocalypse shows for some reason

i feel like neither of tou are comfortable sharing emotions you just kind of know everything about eachother and act accordingly

you guys could geek out over new horror movies and such!!!

plus you and enid would get along really well so you three would be best pals

i think youd bud heads with xavier so the two of you would probably argue a lot and Ajax would bully the two of you about it

Harry Potter -> I want to pair you with Fred and George

i cant even explain this one

you guys just are best friends

and youre the only one that ever gets serious (when you need to ofc)

plus they def dont discuss feelings to one another lets be honest

I hope these work for you!!! :)))

[wellthatwasaletdown]

Harry wanted to be an edgy cool old soul rockstar as much as his label did. But he just isn’t. He’s a bad singer and a mediocre performer and has the personality of a wet rag. All of his fans like him because he’s cute. MUNA described him as a nymph. What do nymphs do? Like. Harry does nothing. He isn’t electric or phenomenal or daring or magnetic. His entire debut image was so fucking contrived and unlike him and he wanted it sooo bad and that’s offputting. He’s a poser.

The man I see on stage now is the man who considered quitting music when he realized how untalented he was when he tried to write music himself. He isn’t trying anymore. Reviewers are comparing him to Sunday school teachers. Game over, rock legend Harry is over. Had he accepted his own lack of talent and debuted with the advantages and hype he knew he was actually deserving of I don’t thnk I’d be half as mad as I am now. It was just so sneaky and obnoxious of him. I don’t hate him because he sucks. I kind of hate him because he acts like he doesn’t when he knows he does. It’s that level of arrogance I didn’t see back when I was a hardcore harrie from 2014-2016.

Sure I see the ‘old’ Harry now. A dorky baby-faced guy joking around and dancing badly and just kind of existing there. That’s not a crime. I never really asked for more from him. But after seeing what kind of image his greed lead him to adopt, I can’t really see him the same way ever again.