#I hate it here. why always us? why always my dad and me??
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SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY â ě°ëŚŹëĽź
pairing á° ni-ki x fem!reader â featuring.. sunghoon | word count: 5.7k+
â ⌠warnings & genre âş childhood friends, tease ni-ki, middle school to highschool au, cussing, angst if you use a magnifying glass, fluff, kissing, underage drinking, miscommunication.
synopsis â Ever since middle school, Nishimura Riki has been an absolute pain. Now at your senior year of high school, things get complicated when confused feelings start to rise.
lee's âËâš á° comment âI am here to represent the playful over nonchalant riki agenda đ¤âď¸I wanted this to give shitty 2000's romance movie did I succeed? (this is so ass but I haven't posted a pic in a while so muah, creative fics coming soon trust)
If there was one universal truth in your life, it was this: you hated Nishimura Riki.
Childhood best friends? The kind you see in movies, laughing over dumb jokes, sharing secrets under a blanket fort, or being there for each other no matter what? Yeah, that wasnât you and Riki. Not even close.
Your history with him began the summer before middle school, a day you remembered all too clearly.
âWhoâs moving in, Mom?â you asked, watching the moving truck parked outside the empty house next door.
She glanced over as she set down a stack of plates. âA family with a boy about your age,â she replied, patting your head. âMaybe youâll make a new friend! Why donât you go say hi?â
You wrinkled your nose, stepping back from the window. âI wish it was a girl.â
Mom sighed and gave you that knowing look as she moved around the kitchen. âYou never know. Your dad and I were childhood friends once.â
âGross,â you shot back, crossing your arms. âThatâs so weird.â
And just like that, you moved on with your life, assuming the new boy next door was unimportant. After all, families came and went in your neighborhood. You didnât expect him to stick aroundâor to matter.
Oh, how wrong you were.
The first day of middle school was supposed to be a fresh start. You had plans. Big plans. Make friends, fit in, and survive until High School. And for a moment, it seemed like everything would go smoothly. Until him.
Lunch was going fine. You grabbed your tray, scanning the cafeteria for a place to sit when you collided with someone. Hard.
Your lunch went flying, splattering all over you, and in your panic, you looked up, ready to apologize. But then you noticed he was perfectly fineâcompletely untouchedâlike the universe had gone out of its way to humiliate only you.
You glanced at his name tag. Nishimura Riki.
He crouched to help, concern etched across his face. âAre you okayââ
Before he could finish, a blinding camera flash went off, followed by whispers and giggles erupting all around you. Mortified, you bolted to the nearest bathroom.
You thought that would be the end of it, but Riki wasnât done ruining your life. Far from it.
In gym class? He always aimed for you during dodgeball. At lunch? He somehow snagged the last banana milk every time. Clubs? Teachers practically begged him to join while you couldnât even get a recommendation. Worst of all, everyone adored him. Everyone but you.
By the end of your first year, Nishimura Riki was your sworn enemy.
And then things got⌠complicated.
It happened one evening while you were studying in your room. A soft knock at the door interrupted your focus.
âCome in,â you called, expecting your mom.
She stepped inside with two glasses of water. âRemember the tutoring favor I mentioned? My friendâs son is here in need of help, Be nice, okay?â
âSure,â you replied, not thinking much of it.
But when the door creaked open again, you froze.
âNot who you were expecting?â Riki grinned, leaning casually against the doorframe.
You crossed your arms. âWhat are you doing here Riki?â
Riki winced. âTutoring obviously, and could you please just call me ni-ki like everyone else?â
âYouâre not coming in,â you snapped, blocking the doorway.
He sighed dramatically. âAnd what would I tell your mom?â He bent slightly to meet your glare, his grin widening when you finally moved aside.
âFine. Sit down,â you muttered, plopping back at your desk.
For the next hour, you worked in tense silence. Or tried to, anyway. Riki kept fidgeting, pulling out a folded piece of paper halfway through.
âWhatâs that?â you asked, snatching it before he could stop you.
âHey!â he yelped, scrambling to grab it back.
It didnât take long to figure out what it was: another love letter. You rolled your eyes and tossed it back at him. âVeryyyy humble.â
âNot my fault Iâm handsome, but it really is annoying though, I'm constantly surrounded⌠sometimes I feel like I'm drowningâ he muttered, leaning back on his hands.
You were thrown off by his sincerity but you ignored him until he suddenly perked up as if struck by divine inspiration.
âWait,â he said, sitting up straighter. âI have an idea.â
You raised an eyebrow. âThatâs never good.â
âLetâs be friends, like attached to the hip friends.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
He grinned. âThink about it. You donât have anyone covering your back at school, and I need someone to scare off all the girls who keep following me around. Itâs perfect.â
You rolled your eyes. âHard pass.â
âCome on, at least think about it!â he whined.
Unfortunately, he didnât leave you much of a choice. Day by day, Riki wormed his way into your life, showing up at your house, sticking by you at school, and, somehow, turning everyoneâs attention to you.
It was annoying. It was infuriating. But, worst of all? It worked.
Fast forward to your senior year of high school, and here you wereâstill stuck with Nishimura Riki. And somehow, despite your ups and downs, things werenât going to be quite so simple anymore.
You were buried in your assignments, your usual library spot surrounded by a fortress of papers, highlighters, and books. It was your sanctuary, a place where Riki always knew he could find you.
He wasnât alone when he spotted you this time. A couple of his friends hung around, laughing about something entirely unimportant in his mind the second his eyes landed on you. His grin stretched wide, and with an exaggerated sigh, he excused himself. The girls groaned, rolling their eyes at his now-predictable antics. âYouâre obsessed, ni-ki,â one of them muttered, but he didnât care.
Jogging up to your table, he glanced at your mess of notes and books. You didnât even look up. Of course.
âWhat is it, Riki?â you murmured, still scribbling, your tone bored, uninterestedâclassic.
âWould it kill you to talk to me lovingly every once in a while, Y/N?â he mocked, flopping into the chair across from you. His eyes darted to the pile of folded papers shoved to the side, and his eyebrows shot up. âOh? Whatâs this? Love letters? These for me again?â
You finally glanced up, leveling him with that deadpan expression he swore you saved just for him. âTheyâre definitely not mine,â you replied flatly.
He gasped, hand over his chest like youâd shot him. âPoor baby. Jealous much?â he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.
âOf you? Hardly.â
Riki narrowed his eyes at you, suddenly curious. Now that he thought about it, heâd never actually seen you with anyoneâno rumors, no dates, no shy confessions. And while you always rolled your eyes whenever he brought up girls in front of you, you never chimed in about any guy in your life. Suspicious.
âY/N,â he started, his tone a little too casual as he began doodling nonsense shapes on the table. âWhen was the last time you had a boyfriend?â
You blinked, caught off guard. âWell, you remember Choiââ
âChoi Soobin? That lasted, what, a week?â he scoffed, leaning back in his chair with a smirk.
âAnd why do you think that is, genius?â you shot back, pointing your pencil at him accusingly.
Riki faltered for a split second before looking away. âWell⌠I think you can do so much better than him,â he muttered, scratching the back of his neck.
Your brow shot up, amused. âOh? Alright then, Mr. Matchmaker. Whoâs my âbetter match,â huh?â
His mouth opened, then shut. For once, he didnât have a quick answer. He gulped, scrambling to save face. âHow about I⌠set you up?â
You laughed, leaning back in your chair. âWith one of your fuckboy friends? No thanks.â
âHey! Not them!â he laughed, hands up in defense. âI meant someone like⌠Sunghoon.â
That made you pause. âSunghoon? Like tall, calm, cool, and basically perfect Sunghoon? Yeah, right. He wouldnât go on a date with me in a million years.â
âWhat? Says who?â Riki shot back, standing up like heâd just been challenged to a duel. âIâll talk to him. Watch and learn, Y/N. Watch and learn.â
âRikiââ
âLater! Donât miss me too muchâ He winked and walked off, leaving you to roll your eyes at his retreating figure, wondering if heâd actually follow through or if this was just another one of his ridiculous schemes.
âY/N? I thought you guys were dating,â Sunghoon said, his brow furrowing in confusion as he leaned back against the locker.
Riki nearly choked on his water, his eyes going wide as he turned to face him. âWhat? No, Y/N is just a friend.â He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a half-smile. âOh. Huh. Well, I think Iâm gonna pass anyway. Sheâs kind of⌠boring?â
The words hit Riki like a slap. His head snapped toward Sunghoon so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. âBoring?â he echoed, his voice sharp. âSays who?â
Sunghoon shrugged nonchalantly. âEveryone. I mean, I havenât seen her at a single party or game, not even during lunch. What would we even talk about?â
Riki scoffed, crossing his arms as he glared at him. âY/N is plenty of fun, asshole. What do you even know?â His voice was defensive, almost protective, and it surprised even himself.
Sunghoon tilted his head, studying Rikiâs reaction. âI mean, she seems⌠quiet,â he admitted. âBut now that I think about it, if youâre the one setting me up with her, sheâs probably pretty great. You donât exactly play matchmaker for just anyone.â
Riki blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift. âUh⌠well, yeah, she is great,â he muttered, not meeting Sunghoonâs eyes.
Sunghoon grinned. âYou know what? Why not? Sheâs cute.â
Riki froze. His grip tightened on the strap of his backpack, and for a split second, he wasnât sure why his stomach twisted at Sunghoonâs words. Calling you cute? Of course, you were cute. Heâd always known that. So why did it sound weird coming from someone else?
He quickly shook off the strange feeling, chalking it up to his usual overprotectiveness. âAlright,â he said, his voice coming out more clipped than he intended. âBut donât do anything weird. Seriously.â
Sunghoon laughed, pushing off the locker. âWeird? Relax, Iâll be a gentleman. So, you gonna tell her, or should I?â
Riki sighed, running a hand through his hair. âIâll tell her. Just⌠donât mess this up, alright?â
Sunghoon smirked as he walked away. âI wonât. But, man, youâre acting real possessive for âjust a friend,â donât you think?â
Riki didnât respond, watching as Sunghoon disappeared down the hall. The words hung heavy in the air, and for the first time, he wondered if maybeâjust maybeâhe was more than just âoverprotectiveâ when it came to you.
Today, you felt a kind of giddiness you hadnât experienced in a while. After weeks of drowning in study sessions, late-night cramming for club responsibilities, and endless schoolwork, you were finally doing something for yourself. And to top it all off, you werenât just going outâyou were going out with a boy.
It had been forever since youâd made this much effort. You dolled yourself up, not too over the top, but more than your usual routine. Casual but undeniably cute. You felt like a new version of yourself, and it was exciting.
Standing in front of your mirror, you hummed along to the music playing softly in the background, carefully adjusting your hair. You tilted your head, giving yourself one last once-over with a satisfied grin when there was a knock on your door.
âY/N, Iâm coming in,â came the familiar voice.
Before you could even respond, the door creaked open, and Riki stepped inside. His usual easy-going demeanor faltered the second he saw you. The air felt heavy, and his eyes widened as if heâd been caught off guard.
For a moment, he just stared, the words dying in his throat. Why were you so dressed up? Heâd seen you a thousand times, but never like this. Something about the way your hair framed your face, the slight gloss on your lips, and the way your outfit hugged your figureâit was like he was seeing you for the first time.
Were you always this pretty?
âIs he on his way? What kind of car does he drive?â you asked, practically buzzing with excitement.
Your voice snapped him out of whatever trance he was in, and he blinked, his expression hardening as he shoved his hands into his pockets. âUh⌠yeah, heâs almost here,â he muttered, his tone uncharacteristically stiff.
The doorbell rang, and your face lit up instantly. Clapping your hands together, you grabbed your bag and checked your outfit one last time. You turned to him, your eyes sparkling with anticipation. âNot too bad, right? Think heâll like it?â
Riki froze again. The words caught in his throat, and for a second, he thought about telling you the truth. That you looked beautiful. That the thought of you being this excited about someone else was bothering him more than it should.
But instead, his pride got the better of him. âIâwellâyou look stupid,â he blurted out, his words harsher than he intended.
You rolled your eyes, clearly unimpressed. âSay whatever you want, Riki. Your opinion doesnât matter tonight. Iâll text you the details tomorrow!â
And just like that, you were gone, your scent lingering in the room as you hurried past him and out the door.
Riki stood there, staring at the space youâd just left. His chest felt tight, an unfamiliar weight settling there as he replayed the moment in his head. What was this feeling? Why was his stomach twisting uncomfortably at the thought of you with someone else?
He swallowed hard, running a hand through his hair as he sat on your bed, shoulders slumping. Something was changingâsomething he wasnât sure he was ready to admit yet. But as he sat there, his chest aching and his mind racing, one thing was becoming painfully clear.
He didnât want to be the one you texted tomorrow to tell all the details about tonight. He wanted to be the one sitting across from you, the one you were so excited to see. And that realization scared him more than anything.
The next week was nothing short of torture for Riki. As if fate was playing a cruel joke, you and Sunghoon seemed to hit it off. You werenât officially dating, but the two of you were in the so-called âtalking stage.â It didnât matter what stage it wasâevery second of it felt wrong to Riki.
Your usual library spot? You werenât alone anymore. Sunghoon was always there, sitting across from you, leaning in too close, making you laugh in ways that Riki used to. Your desk? It was now stocked with your favorite snacks every morningâsnacks that werenât from Riki. And the final blow? You called Sunghoon by his nickname. His nickname. Riki clenched his fists every time he overheard it because not once in all the years heâd known you had you ever called him by a nickname.
What did Sunghoon have that Riki didnât? He left snacks, visited you in the library, and called you nicknames. Riki did all of that first. So why wasnât it enough?
For the first time, Riki felt you slipping away. And for the first time, he realized just how much you meant to him. But instead of confronting those feelings, he did what he always did bestâhe buried them.
The dismissal bell rang, and the school flooded with students rushing to leave. You were taking your time, slowly packing up while your music played softly in your headphones. A tap on your shoulder startled you, making you jump.
âHey, sorry! I didnât mean to scare you,â Sunghoon said with an easy laugh.
You laughed back, pushing him playfully. âItâs fine. Yeah, Iâm ready to go, but we should wait for Riki. He might need a ride home.â
Sunghoonâs brow furrowed, confused. âni-ki? I thought he went on that date.â
Your hands paused mid-motion. âWhat?â
âYeah, didnât he tell you? Heâs been talking about it all day.â Sunghoon said it so casually, but his words felt like a punch to your chest.
No. Riki hadnât told you anything. And now that you thought about it, heâd been distant recently, skipping out on plans and barely texting back. But to go on a date and not even mention it? That wasnât like him at all. A strange feeling bubbled in your chestâwas it anxiety or something else entirely?
âOh. I guess we should just go then,â you murmured, brushing past Sunghoon, who quickly followed after you.
It stayed like that for weeks. Riki kept avoiding you, making himself scarce. He didnât leave snacks on your desk anymore, didnât visit you in the library, and the only time you caught glimpses of him was when he was with her. That girl in his friend groupâexcept now, his arm was around her shoulder.
Something about seeing them together twisted your stomach into knots. You couldnât figure out what was going on. The absence of Nishimura Riki was a void you werenât coping with well. You missed his annoying presence, his whining, his endless teasing. When had he become so important to you? And more importantly, why did it hurt so much to see him with someone else?
Days passed, your short fling with Sunghoon had come to an end. You and Sunghoon realized you werenât a good match. It wasnât dramatic; the spark just wasnât there. You were relieved to have gained a friend, but even that small resolution didnât fill the aching gap that Riki had left behind.
One day, as you trudged toward class, your thoughts heavy, you spotted him. For a moment, everything else faded. His uniform was crisp for once, his hair falling perfectly across his forehead, and his headphones hung loosely around his neck. You felt your heart skip, a familiar warmth creeping in. But then you saw herâthe girl. She was right next to him, laughing as she leaned closer.
Riki caught your eyes, and for a moment, you swore you saw something flicker in his expression. But then he looked away, a fake smile plastered back on his face, and it felt like someone had ripped the air out of your lungs.
You couldnât take it anymore. The sudden, painful realization hit you like a truckâyou had fallen for Nishimura Riki. The cocky, annoying, rude, childish Riki. And you had realized it far too late.
Fueled by a sense of urgency, you stormed over to him. The closer you got, the more his eyes widened. His body tensed, his jaw clenching as if he knew what was coming.
âRiki, I need to talk to you,â you said, your voice trembling slightly.
He scoffed, avoiding your gaze as he shifted awkwardly. âWhat could we possibly need to talk about?â
You narrowed your eyes at him. âOh, I donât know. How about the fact that youâve been ignoring me for weeks? How about the fact that youâve completely shut me out?â
He let out a bitter laugh, his eyes now locking with yours. âMe? Ignoring you? Donât make me laugh. Werenât you the one who ditched me first? The second Sunghoon gave you a little attention, you were all over him like he was your whole world.â
You flinched at the venom in his words. âWhat are you even talking about?â
âDonât play dumb!â he snapped, his voice rising. âYouâve been desperate for attention since day one. The moment someone else gave it to you, you didnât even think twice about ditching me.â
The words stung more than you thought possible, and tears welled in your eyes. âIs that how you really see me? Someone who just begs for love and clings to anyone willing to give it? Or is that what you wanted me to be? Someone who would never leave you, so you could string me along whenever you wanted? Like you always have?â
His eyes softened, regret flickering through them, but before he could respond, the girl at his side stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm.
âAlright ni-ki.. I get it now.â You took that as your cue. Turning on your heel, you walked away without looking back, tears blurring your vision.
He gulped as he watched you walk away, Itching to chase after you. He never thought the loss of his first name coming from your lips would hurt this much. But it did.
For the nights after that, sleep was impossible. You lay there staring at the ceiling, replaying the confrontation with Riki over and over in your head. His words, his tone, the hurt that lingered in his eyes despite the venom in his voiceâit was all too much. The raw pain left a lump in your throat, and the longer you thought about it, the more your chest ached.
You didnât know how to move past it. Slowly, you started closing yourself off. The window you always left unlocked for Riki to climb through at night? It was shut now, the latch sealed as if closing it would somehow lock away the memories too.
Everything was weighing on you, dragging you deeper into a pit of emotions you couldnât escape from. You needed somethingâanything to distract yourself. Thatâs when you remembered Sunghoonâs message from earlier.
Sunghoon:
Hey I know parties arenât really your thing, but you can always come and stick with me tonight if you want? LMK.
You sighed, staring at the screen for what felt like forever before finally making a decision. Maybe this was what you needed, a change of scenery, a chance to forget for just one night. Without overthinking, you hit the call button.
He answered almost immediately, his voice casual but with a hint of surprise. âHey, Y/N, whatâs up?â
âHey, Hoon,â you said, your voice soft but steady. âIâll be on my way soon.â
When you arrived at the party, the air was buzzing with energy. Music thumped loudly in the background, lights flickered through the windows, and the yard was packed with groups of people chatting and laughing. You felt a pang of anxiety as you stepped inside, but it was quickly drowned out when Sunghoon spotted you from across the room.
âY/N!â he called, weaving through the crowd with a grin. âYou made it.â
You nodded, offering him a small smile. âYeah, I thought Iâd give it a shot.â
âIâm glad you came,â he said, resting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. âCome on, Iâll introduce you to some people, and we can hang out.â
He led you through the party, his presence grounding you as you met new faces and settled into the environment. For the first time in what felt like weeks, you felt yourself relaxing. Laughing. Forgetting.
But that peace was short-lived.
Halfway through the night, as you stood by the kitchen with Sunghoon, sipping on a red solo cup which heâd handed you, your eyes landed on someone you werenât prepared to see. Riki.
He was standing on the far side of the room, a red Solo cup in hand, his face half-hidden by the shadowy lighting. But it was unmistakably him. His posture was relaxed, but he wasnât speaking as his group of friends talked. You looked around for the girl he grasped onto recently but she was nowhere in sight.
Your chest tightened, and it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. For a moment, all the progress youâd made to distract yourself unraveled. You tried to look away, but it was like your eyes were glued to him.
Sunghoon noticed immediately. âHey,â he said gently, stepping in front of you to block your view. âYou okay?â
You blinked, forcing yourself to focus on him. âYeah. Iâm fine.â
But you werenât fine. Not at all.
Riki hadnât noticed you at first, too caught up in the chaos of the party. But when he finally glanced toward the kitchen, his heart stopped. There you were, standing next to Sunghoon, looking beautiful in a way that made his chest ache.
His grip on his cup tightened as he watched Sunghoon lean closer, whispering something that made you laugh softly. That laugh. The one he hadnât heard in weeks. It was his laugh, the one you used to share with him.
âni-ki,â a girl next to him said, tugging on his sleeve to grab his attention. But he barely heard her, his focus still glued to you.
âExcuse me for a second,â he mumbled, setting his cup down and stepping away from his group. He didnât even know what he was doing. His feet carried him across the room before his brain had the chance to catch up.
You saw him coming before he even reached you. The sight of him walking toward you, his expression unreadable, made your stomach twist. Sunghoon glanced over his shoulder and immediately stiffened.
âY/N,â Riki said, his voice low but firm as he stopped in front of you. His gaze flickered to Sunghoon briefly before settling back on you. âCan we talk?â
You hesitated, your walls immediately going up. âWhat is there to talk about, ni-ki?â
âPlease,â he said, his tone softer now, almost desperate wincing at the way you spit his nickname.
Sunghoon stepped closer, his presence protective. âMaybe now isnât the time, Riki.â
Rikiâs jaw tightened, but he didnât back down. âI wasnât asking you, Sunghoon.â
Your heart was racing, caught between the two of them. The tension in the air was suffocating, and you didnât know what to do.
âIâll give you guys a minute,â Sunghoon finally said, his voice steady but his eyes lingering on you for reassurance before he walked off.
Riki took a step closer, his hands buried in his pockets as he looked at you with an intensity that made your breath hitch. âIâm sorry,â he said, his voice cracking slightly. âFor everything.â
You swallowed hard, your emotions a whirlwind. âI donât even know what to say to you right now.â
âThen donât say anything,â he said quickly. âJust⌠listen. Please.â
And so, for the first time in weeks, you let him talk.
He led you up the stairs, weaving through the chaos of the party. The bass of the music faded the further you went, replaced by the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. He stopped in front of an empty room, pushing the door open and letting you step inside first. The room was dim, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the window. When he followed, the soft click of the door shutting behind him felt heavier than it should have.
You turned to face him, crossing your arms defensively. Your guard was up, and he could see it all over your faceâyour hurt, your anger, your confusion. He hated that he was the one who put that look in your eyes. How had things gotten so messed up? It reminded him of when you were younger, back in middle school, when he could never find the right words to say to you. But this time, it felt like so much more was at stake.
âY/NâŚâ His voice was quiet, laced with hesitation, his dark eyes glowing softly under the light. âI havenât been real with you lately.â
You didnât say anything, your glare sharp enough to cut through him.
âTo be honestâŚâ He froze, the words catching in his throat as his face heated up. He looked down, running a hand through his hair as if it would steady him. âWell, Iâve realized that you mean⌠a lot more to me than I thought.â
You blinked, your heart skipping a beat, but your defenses didnât falter. âWhat are you trying to say?â
He sighed, taking a tentative step closer. âIâm saying I screwed up, okay? Iâve been jealous, selfish, and downright stupid. Seeing you with Sunghoon, thinking I might lose you⌠it made me realize something.â
You raised an eyebrow, waiting, your breath catching as he took another step closer.
âI like you, Y/N,â he admitted, his voice cracking slightly under the weight of his confession. âNo, scratch thatâIâm in love with you. I think Iâve been in love with you for a while now, but I was too dumb to figure it out until I almost lost you.â
Your heart was pounding, the walls youâd built around yourself threatening to crumble. His words felt like a punch to the gut, but in the best way possible.
âWhy now?â you whispered, your voice barely audible. âWhy did it take all of this for you to say something?â
âI was scared,â he admitted, his tone filled with regret. âScared of ruining what we already had. But when I saw you with him, I realized I couldnât just stand by and lose you. Iâm sorry, Y/N. For everything. I just⌠I need you to know how I feel.â
You stared at him, your emotions a whirlwind. Part of you wanted to stay mad, to keep your guard up and protect yourself. But the other partâthe part that had always been soft for himâwanted to believe every word he was saying.
âRiki,â you started, your voice trembling. âYou really hurt me, you know that, right?â
He nodded, guilt washing over his face. âI know, and Iâll spend however long it takes making it up to you pretty. I swear.â
There was a long silence as you studied him, searching his face for any sign that he wasnât being genuine. But all you saw was raw vulnerability.
Finally, you sighed, stepping closer to him. âYouâre such an idiot,â you muttered, but there was no malice in your voice.
He smiled softly, a flicker of hope lighting up his eyes. âIâve been told.â
Before you could second-guess yourself, you reached up, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer. His eyes widened slightly, but he didnât hesitate. His hands found your waist as you stood on your toes, and then, without another word, you kissed him.
It was soft at first, tentative, like the two of you were still testing the waters. But as the moment deepened, all the tension, all the weeks of hurt and miscommunication melted away. His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you closer, and you let yourself fall into him completely.
When you finally pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other, both of you breathless. He smiled at you, his usual cocky grin softened by the tenderness in his eyes.
âDoes this mean you forgive me?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips. âDonât push your luck.â
He laughed, the sound light and carefree, and for the first time in weeks, you felt like everything was going to be okay.
BONUS đđËâ
Riki had known you since middle school. Back then, you were the girl who sat by the window during lunch, scribbling in your notebook or reading while everyone else was too busy trying to be cool. You were quiet but quick-witted, and for some reason, that always fascinated him.
He couldnât pinpoint the exact moment he started noticing you more. Maybe it was the time you helped him with a history project because he procrastinated and wouldâve failed without you, Maybe⌠It was the day you both ran into each other. Literally.
He hated admitting it, but he always found himself drawn to you. You werenât flashy or loud like the other people in his life. You were just youâcalm, focused, and, most of all, real.
But middle school Riki wasnât great at handling feelings. Instead of being sweet to you, heâd tease you mercilessly, always looking for a reaction. He loved how your face would scrunch up when you were annoyed or how youâd mutter sarcastic comebacks under your breath, pretending you werenât affected.
Even then, he knew you were different. Special. But he never let himself think too much about it.
As the years passed, his feelings only grew, even if he wouldnât admit it to himself. By the time high school rolled around, you were still his constant. The one person he could always count on, the one who somehow understood him without needing a million words.
But somewhere along the way, heâd started feeling something heavier whenever he saw you. When you smiled at him, it felt like a spark ignited in his chest. When you scolded him for slacking off, heâd secretly enjoy the attention. And when you laughedâGod, when you laughedâhe swore it was his favorite sound in the world.
Still, he buried those feelings deep. He figured it was better to keep things the way they were. If he said something and you didnât feel the same, he could lose you entirely, and the thought of that terrified him.
Then Sunghoon came into the picture. And for the first time, he realized he wasnât the only one who could see how amazing you were. Watching you smile at someone else, laugh at someone elseâs jokes, give someone else the attention that used to be hisâit tore him apart. He felt like he was suffocating, and he didnât know how to stop it.
Even now, standing in that room with you after finally confessing everything, he couldnât help but think back to all those moments from middle school. How blind had he been? How stupid to waste so much time pretending he didnât care?
Looking at you now, your cheeks flushed, your eyes searching his face like you were trying to figure him out, he realized he didnât want to hold back anymore.
He smiled, soft and genuine, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
âYou know,â he said, his voice low, âI think Iâve been falling for you since middle school. I just didnât know how to say it back then. Guess Iâm still figuring it out now.â
You blinked at him, stunned for a moment, before a small laugh escaped your lips. âYouâve been a mess since middle school, Riki.â
âYeah,â he said, his grin growing wider. âBut Iâm your mess now.â
And with that, he kissed you again, pouring years of unspoken feelings into the moment, knowing heâd finally found where he belongedâright there, with you.
#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#fanfic#fluff fic#enhypen angst#enhypen niki#ni ki enhypen#ni ki x reader#ni ki fluff#nishimura riki#niki x reader#ni ki
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Chapter 25: Birthday Surprise
Rating: Mature Audiences
Warning: fluff, spicy, wlw smut, birthday sex, Paige being a munch, !top paige, !bottom reader, oral (fem reseving), fingering (fem reseving),
Paring: Paige Bueckers x !photographer fem reader
Fandom: Women's basketball
Summary: good... great.... Amazing
Welcome to the chapter 25 of Through The Lens. I hope you all enjoy and there is more to come...stay tuned my loveies!! đđđ¸
Reader's POV
Birthdays were always a big deal in my family, which made being so far from home this year feel especially hard. For the past two years at UConn, Iâd made the trip back to Georgia to celebrate with my mom, dad, and granny. But with classes, work, and filming for the team, there was no way I could manage the trip this time.
Paige had been trying to cheer me up all week, but even her usual anticsâlike balancing a basketball on her head or dramatically serenading me with off-key versions of random love songsâwerenât doing the trick.
"Don't pout, kid," Paige said, sliding her arms around my waist as I stood at the kitchen counter in her dorm. "We'll make it special here. I promise."
I smiled weakly and nodded. Paige always tried her best to make me happy, and I loved her for it. Still, I couldnât help missing home.
Paige's POV
I hated seeing Y/N sad, especially on her birthday. Thatâs why, as soon as she mentioned not being able to go home, I started plotting with the team. With Coach Geno's blessing, weâd arranged for her parents and granny to fly up to Connecticut. But the real trick was keeping it all a secret.
The morning of her birthday, I got up early to decorate my dorm. She practically lived here now, but Y/N was here even more than I was, and I wanted her to feel like this was her space, too.
I hung up strings of fairy lights, scattered balloons and flowers everywhere, and set out a cake on the desk. The highlight was a photo collage Iâd made of our favorite moments togetherâfrom her first game filming for the team to random late-night study sessions.
When she walked in, still rubbing sleep from her eyes, her jaw dropped.
âPaigeâŚâ she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
âHappy birthday, baby,â I said, pulling her into a hug.
She clung to me for a moment before pulling back to take it all in.
âThis isâŚwow,â she said, wiping at her eyes. âYou didnât have to do all this.â
âI wanted to. You deserve it,â I said, kissing her forehead.
Reader's POV
I thought Paige's dorm setup was the extent of my birthday surprises, but I was wrong.
The game against Oregon state started like any other home game. I was courtside, filming warm-ups and getting close-ups of the teamâs determined faces. Paige caught my eye from across the court, flashing me a wink before sinking a perfect three-pointer.
As halftime approached, I packed up my camera to grab some water. But before I could step away, Kk ran up to me, grinning.
âDonât go anywhere,â she said, practically bouncing on her heels.
âWhy?â I asked, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.
âJust trust me.â
A few minutes later, the arena lights dimmed, and the announcerâs voice boomed over the speakers.
âLadies and gentlemen, please join us in wishing a very special happy birthday to one of our ownâY/N!â
Spotlights swung toward me, and the crowd erupted in cheers. I froze, my face burning, as the team gathered around me, pulling me toward center court.
âWait, what is this?â I asked, looking at Paige, who was trying (and failing) to hide her smirk.
She nodded toward the tunnel entrance, where I saw three familiar figures emerging. My heart stopped.
âMom? Dad? Granny?â I whispered, tears springing to my eyes.
They were here. They were actually here.
I ran toward them, throwing myself into my momâs arms. She laughed, holding me tightly.
âHappy birthday, baby girl,â she said, her voice warm and familiar.
âHow did youâŚ?â I looked over my shoulder at Paige, who shrugged innocently.
âHad a little help,â she said, grinning.
Paige's POV
Watching Y/N light up as her family surprised her was worth all the sneaking around and late-night planning. The crowd cheered as they hugged her, and I felt a swell of pride knowing weâd pulled it off.
After halftime, Y/Nâs family joined us in the stands, and she stayed close to them for the rest of the game, though her eyes kept finding mine across the court.
When the buzzer sounded, signaling our win, the team swarmed Y/N again, chanting âHappy Birthdayâ as loudly and obnoxiously as possible.
Reader's POV
Back at Paigeâs dorm that evening, we sat around eating cake with my family, laughing and reminiscing. Granny was telling Paige an embarrassing story from my childhood, and I couldnât stop smiling.
Later, after my parents and granny went back to their hotel, Paige and I curled up on her bed, the glow of the fairy lights casting soft shadows on the walls.
âDid you have a good birthday?â she asked, brushing a strand of hair from my face.
âThe best,â I said, leaning into her touch.
âGood,â she said, pressing a kiss to my temple. âYou deserve it. No let me make it great.â
Sitting up I lift my hoodie off her to reveal she only had my hoodie no shirt under, a smirk grow on my face as my hand slides into her shorts, I rub my hand over her soaked panty clothed pussy. âYour body's doin this all f'me, mamas.â I smirk at the friction of her thighs squeezing my hand.âNghh,â she whimper. âLook at you, I havenât even stuffed you full of my fingers yet and youâre just falling apart, f'me.â I whisper into her ear before leaving more hickeys on her collarbone.
Now hovering over her I gently reach for the band of her shorts and panties pulling then down, in a swift motion. I git lower for her pussy letting a string of spit fall onto her pussy as I start rubbing her clit painfully slow. She opens her mouth to respond but all that comes out of it are soft moans and whimpers, shaking her head. âUse your words mamas, what do you want, hmm.â I tease, fingers dancing around her clenching hole.
The room fills with her cries and moans. âShh, shh you hear her talking back to me princess?â I say using my thumb to rub slow circles on her clit.âP-please Paige need your fing-â she moan as I bury my fingers into her sopping pussy, makong her breath hitch.
My fingers curl upwards and her eyes roll back, âFound it.â
I say as I speed up, rubbing circles into her pulsing clit, my fingers feeling her tethering closer and closer to the edge.
Her head lolls back into the pillow âM'Pagie, fuck, P.â My fingers continue rubbing the spongey spot âLook at me, birthday girlâ I slow my pace a little, âMa,look at me.â IÂ order, she looked at me, her eyes glossed over indicating that she was close.
She squirm and whine at the feeling of my fingers inside her dripping pussy speed up. Her mouth opens into an o shape at the filthy squelches that were filling up the room.âPaige, P.â she whimper helplessly. âI know baby, I can feel you squeezing my fingers, make a mess on my fingers mamas,â I says leaning into her biting, sucking at her neck, my cold silver chain dangling and grazing her hot sticky skin. Speeding my pace as I look at her holding eye contact, but before she warn me, she's cumming all over my fingers the white of her eyes the only thing visible.
She grip my arm for support as her legs become shaky. âI- mmmâ her orgasm soon passes and I crawl off the bed to my knees, spreading her legs wider.
Gently I blow on her sensitive puffy clit, just before I'm slurping up her release moaning and groaning, holding her hips as she wiggling around from how sensitive she was now. âMmm, baby you gotta be still mâtryna eat.â she gasp, gripping my hair as I'm practically french kissing her pussy.âSo sensitive, f'me ma.â she whimper as she tugged harder on my hair. âI know baby but you can give me one more right?â IÂ says pulling away looking up at her.
My mouth glistening with her wetness as its dripping down my chin, I give her lower lips a kiss âCanât you, ma?â I says before biting and sucking at her inner thighs.
Her hands are pulling me closer and I took that as his sign to continue.
Devouring her, my grip around her thighs tighten as I submerge his face into her pussy deepee, my nose ever so slightly grazing against her swollen clit.âOh my god,â her moans grow louder as her orgasm gets closer, my hand reaches and presses down on her lower stomach.
She let's out a strangled cry out as a clear liquid shoots out of her pussy, her body convulsing as I look at her in shock. âFuck, mamas."
Reader's pov
I was still catching my breath, my chest rising and falling as I stared at the ceiling of Paigeâs bedroom. The room was dimly lit, the faint glow from the string lights casting soft shadows on the walls. Beside me, Paige was propped up on her elbow, her fingers tracing random patterns along my arm.
âYou okay, baby?â she asked, her voice soft and teasing.
I nodded quickly, my cheeks heating up. âYeah⌠Iâm fine.â
âFine?â she repeated, her tone dripping with amusement. âYou sure? Because youâre acting all shy again.â
I groaned, burying my face into the pillow. âStop it, Paige.â
She laughed, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. âWhat? Itâs cute. Youâre cute.â
âIâm not cute,â I mumbled, my voice muffled by the pillow.
âHmm,â Paige hummed, pretending to think. âI donât know. You were looking pretty cute about ten minutes ago.â
âPaige!â I whined, turning to glare at her, though the blush on my cheeks betrayed any attempt at seriousness.
âWhat?â she said innocently, her smile growing. âItâs your birthday, princess. Iâm just giving you all the compliments you deserve.â
âYouâre ridiculous,â I muttered, but I couldnât stop the small smile that crept onto my lips.
âAnd youâre perfect,â she shot back, leaning in to press a kiss to my cheek.
I tried to roll away from her, but Paige was quicker, her arms wrapping around my waist to pull me back toward her.
âNope, youâre not getting away that easily,â she said, her voice playful.
âPaige, let me go!â I protested, though my laughter betrayed me.
âNot a chance, ma,â she said, her lips brushing against my ear. âYouâre stuck with me.â
A little while later, Paige got up from the bed, pulling on her hoodie as she walked toward the bathroom.
âWhere are you going?â I asked, propping myself up on my elbow to watch her.
She glanced back at me with a smirk. âRunning you a bath. You deserve it, birthday girl.â
My heart swelled at the gesture, and I sat up, wrapping the blanket around myself. âYou donât have to do that.â
âI want to,â she said simply, disappearing into the bathroom.
I heard the sound of water running and the faint clinking of bottles as she prepared the bath. A few minutes later, she reappeared, leaning against the doorframe with a satisfied look.
âYour bath is ready, princess,â she said, holding out her hand.
I took it, letting her guide me into the bathroom. The tub was filled with warm water, bubbles spilling over the edges. A few candles were lit on the counter, their soft glow making the room feel cozy and intimate.
âPaige, this is amazing,â I said, turning to look at her.
She shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. âOnly the best for my girl.â
I leaned up to kiss her, my lips lingering on hers. âThank you.â
âAnything for you,â she murmured against my lips.
I stepped into the tub, sinking into the warm water with a content sigh. Paige knelt beside the tub, her chin resting on the edge as she watched me.
âYouâre not joining me?â I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She chuckled. âYou want me to?â
âYes,â I said without hesitation, giving her a pointed look.
Paige stood up, pulling off her hoodie and stepping out of her shorts. âAlright, scoot up, baby.â
I moved forward to make room for her, and she climbed in behind me, her arms wrapping around my waist as I leaned back against her.
âThis is nice,â I said softly, closing my eyes as the warmth of the water and Paigeâs presence enveloped me.
âYeah, it is,â she agreed, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. âHappy birthday, ma.â
We stayed like that for what felt like hours, the bubbles slowly disappearing and the water cooling. Paigeâs hands moved lazily over my arms, her touch soothing and gentle.
âDo you ever think about the future?â I asked suddenly, my voice barely above a whisper.
âAll the time,â Paige said without hesitation. âEspecially with you.â
I turned my head slightly to look at her. âWhat do you mean?â
She smiled, her blue eyes meeting mine. âI mean I think about us. Where weâll be in a few years, what kind of life weâll have together. I want it all with you, baby.â
My heart skipped a beat, and I felt my cheeks heat up again. âYouâre too good to me, Paige.â
âYou deserve it, plus you're good to me tooâ she said simply, leaning in to kiss my temple.
The room fell into a comfortable silence again, the only sounds being the faint dripping of water and our steady breathing.
Eventually, the water grew too cold, and Paige nudged me gently. âCome on, princess. Letâs get out before you turn into an ice cube.â
I nodded, letting her help me out of the tub. She wrapped a towel around me, drying me off with care before doing the same for herself.
Back in the bedroom, Paige handed me one of her oversized shirts to wear, and I climbed into bed, feeling warm and content.
She joined me a moment later, pulling me close and tucking the blanket around us.
âBest birthday ever,â I murmured, my head resting on her chest.
Paige chuckled, her fingers running through my hair. âGlad I could make it special, baby. You deserve the world.â
And as I drifted off to sleep in her arms, I couldnât help but think that maybe I already had it.
â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
      -Thank You For Reading!đŠľđŠś
                            -prettygirl-gabiđâ¨ď¸
Tag list: @sayurireidotcom , @astroeliza , @paxaz535 , @0phantom0 , @starlighttsv , @authentic-girl03 , @sevyscoven .... (more to be added)
#gabi writes#support the writers!#gabi answers#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#°~prettygirlgabi ask~°#uconn huskies#uconn womenâs basketball#through the lens#paige bueckers series#!photographer reader x !super senior paige#pb5#paige bueckers smut#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#paige x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers uconn#wbb x reader#ncaa wbb#wbb#uconn x reader#uconn#azzi fudd#kk arnold#ice brady#aubrey griffin#morgan cheli#sarah strong#jana el alfy
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Ranking the Seven (plus Nico):
1. Nico di Angelo: JustâŚever since I was a nine or ten year old boy reading Rick Riordan's books, Nico di Angelo was my anchor into the world of Percy Jackson. Lonely, an outcast, the one person everybody else shunnedâŚhe was always just a vessel for all my real pain and fear. He still is. All my loneliness and sadness and stress and anxietyâŚit can all be channeled into him.
And to think more about it, he really is just like me. He never opens up to others (same as me, he probably has a fear of judgement), he's got no real friends for most of the books (which is still true of me at 20, no friends except my dad), he's justâŚgod, Nico di Angelo is the character in these books i've always loved most. And I wish he got all the happy things that I feel i haven't had yet.
Frank Zhang: Frank was like the second main character who always spoke to me. Not just because he was Canadian (although that certainly helped), but because he was a heavier set kid who didn't have many friends. His mother died; whereas mine was more just dying (dead now, of course). And I always did like how he was good with a bow and arrow. A ranged fighter with a preference towards support (despite how his looks make him appear), Frank Zhang had a lot of relatable aspects too.
Honestly, nobody in these books ever had a 1 for 1 backstory line up with me (it'd be incredibly bizarre if there was one, I suppose). But Frank and Nico are two of the ones who come closest to hitting me right in the heart. I definitely can see myself in them, and I love them both a lot.
Jason Grace: Jason is a character i've heard be called bland many times. But are you all reading the same books!? Jason Grace is not bland! He is the paragon of virtue, a great kid who always does what he thinks is right. And I really relate to his existential issues. He's a confused person. Is he Greek or Roman? Who is he? Where does he belong? Will he ever belong? A great many of those questions feel like they apply to me as well as to him, and that makes him all the more relatable.
Also, Jason seems to value order and fairness. I respect that. I, too, value order and consistency in my actions. Who doesn't? I'm that weird kid who liked my teachers ten times more than I liked my fellow students. I never got along with other kids. I always felt like I was somehow more mature in some ways. So that's why Jason Grace and Cyclops are like some of my favourite fictional teenagers. They remind me of myself.
Leo Valdez: I almost put Leo in front of Jason, but one thing changed my mind: I hate machinery and mechanics. Don't get me wrong: I like machines. As someone who's wasted way too much time talking to AI chatbots (and who always relates to characters like Vision or Red Tornado), I definitely like machines. But I don't like getting my hands dirty. Mechanics and hands on work was never my thing. So, you know, that was the deciding factor here.
Still, I really relate to Leo. His avoidant streak (which is super relatable), his insecurities about being the most useless member on the team (which is also relatable), even the fact that he covers his insecurites by acting overly confident and personable gets to me. Because while I don't do that one, I do understand all of Leo's insecurites. He's definitely one of my favourite characters.
Hazel Levesque: A girl from out of time. She doesn't quite fit in with this time period, and I can relate to that in some ways (i've always felt like an old soul myself). She's from New Orleans (possibly the one locale in the US that I really like, due to watching Disney's Princess and the Frog as a kid). She's even got magic powers, thus putting her in with the group of people I tend to like most in fiction: mages.
Hazel is a great character. She makes my top five because she appeals to almost all of my many interests. She was never my number one favourite, but she's definitely up there.
Piper McLean: I loved Piper's story. I don't like how native american stuff is never explored in US media (while up here in Canada, we at least get frequent documentaries and sitcoms stuff about indigenous people and culture). So justâŚwhether it's fully accurate or not, props to Rick Riordan for even giving us Cherokee representation. I can't think of any other native characters in american media off the top of my head, so he's already succeeding because of that.
But I also really liked Piper for her struggles with being aphrodite's daughter, and with being a famous celebrity's kid. These things aren't all too relatable on the surface, but the way Rick Riordan wrote about themâŚgod, you know it's good writing when i can grow to feel empathy and love for a character (even despite our many differences). So Piper is cool.
But I do have at least one minor complaint with her story: did her dad really have to forget she was a demigod? That part of the Lost Hero really let me down, and I still don't see the logic of having it happen. So that's why she's number six here.
Annabeth Chase: Annabeth is often relatable, but mostly just when i'm reading from her perspective. From her POV, I really do feel her. I really do love the chapters from her perspective. But when it's other characters talking about her or dealing with herâŚshe is a lot less likeable. She can be downright rude to many characters.
I remember how she hated Tyson. She had decent reasons, but it still really got to me. I didn't like how her and percy started with a bit of an antagonistic attitude towards each other. I also never really felt too much of her issues in regards to her home life. I always kind of related to Frederick Chase, and so I never saw the issues with her home life. When we see it in The Titan's Curse, it seems downright pleasant. So I never understood her.
But let me make something kind of clear: Annabeth is way better following the Mark of Athena. In the Mark of Athena and House of Hades, i've loved her every scene. In all the previous booksâŚit was a lot more love/hate. So I don't despise her (I would never go that far), but I just have some hangups that seem to be personal to me.
8. Percy Jackson: Oh, boy. This opinion is gonna be controversial, I already have that feeling. But i'm gonna stand firm here. Percy Jackson isn't that great. His supporting cast usually always outshines him. He's funny sometimes, sure. But think about his actions. He was just as judgmental towards Tyson as everyone else, at least initially. We read about him admitting he didn't like being related to him! And that action is just the tip of the iceberg.
He abandoned Calypso to rot on Ogygia (while Leo actually had the decency and moral fiber to rescue her). He didn't fulfill the dreams he said he believed in, either. He said he wanted the gods to claim all their kids, yet Camp Half-Blood only added maybe seven new cabins. That's not nearly good enough. That's half assing it. Look what Jason Grace did! He honoured all the gods, even if they were minor ones like Kympoleia! Anything Percy did, someone else did it ten times better!
And let's not forget Nico's treatment here! Percy also didn't seem to like Nico that much, considering he was way too easily annoyed by him (when there were far worse kids out there). Nico got screwed over by Percy, and I won't let that one go! Only one who screwed him over worse was his own sister (abandoning him for the hunters when she knew she was all he had)! But I digress. I just⌠Percy doesn't live up to any of the high potential set on him. Especially not when compared to the other seven.
So there are my rankings. I kind of feel like mine are probably going to end up sort of uncommon, but this is legitimately my opinions on each character. If anyone else wants to share their rankings, feel free to. At this point, i'm kind of interested to see what other people's opinions are.
#i am worried my stances will get me in trouble or something#so let me just say:#i like all eight of these characters#but i do prefer some over others#percy jackson#the seven pjo#nico di angelo#frank zhang#jason grace#leo valdez#hazel levesque#piper mclean#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#hoo#hoo series#my opinions
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#myself#vent post be careful#I really thought I was over thr car crash like I can drive without problem (more or less but I was careful even before it)#and I so genuinely thought I had gotten over it#but then when roaming trough my phone gallery today I found the pictures of my damaged car and now I keep thinking about it.....#like what would have been if I hadn't been it that lane would everything have been ok and my dad would have just complained about the cops?#and what would have happened if I had been going faster and they went straight into the drivers side??#would I still be here???#I don't know and I don't wanna imagine#but it made me so much more scared....#and we were at the lawyer's office today to get them some of our things and the lady at the front desk told me about how she has been a bit#scared ever since she got into a car crash which made me feel a bit better like even 20+ years later she's still not fully over it...#which means I'm not overreacting#but like I'm seconds away from tears why does this only ever happen in the middle of the night????#I'm so scared not even about me but about my parents and my brother like what would I do without them???#honestly that whole thing changed my perspective of car crashes like in normal traffic but also in sports and stuff...#I hate it here. why always us? why always my dad and me??#I'm so glad I wasn't alone in that car but I also just wished he wouldn't have had to go trough that...
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ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.
imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.
your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)
and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.
right?
#rezero#heinkel astrea#i have. many feelings on him always. no i do not condone his abuse and i never will. but he is such a fascinating character#and this is not even getting into like. post-reinhard being five years old. cries. there is so much happening my god. the tragedy of it all#i swear theresia and wilhelm act like they dont even like heinkel fr sometimes too i swear aldfjldfjl theres just implications behind that#relationship too. and implications to heinkel and reinhards Everything with what little we've seen of them. like little kid reinhard truste#his dad SO MUCH heinkel was very loving in the beginning. it hurts how badly it turns out later alsdlfj bc you just Know that reinhard is#internalizing this like. my dad used to love me and now he doesnt anymore and its all my fault.#BUT HE STILL DOES LOVE REINHARD DEEP DOWN BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE SCHULT AS A REPLACEMENT. GOD. GOD.#arc 5 spoilers#i always like. theorize that heinkel used to be someone who tried to follow the rules to the T. try his best. try to be a good perfect#knight. a bit of a people pleaser. WHICH IS LIKE REINHARD RIGHT and it explains why heinkel is so bitter and jaded and angry now. god. i#hate it here. the astreas make me sooo crazy#like heinkel really does seem like a guy whos just trying to be a goody two shoes in like the once upon a time from lugunica ss but he fail#miserably bc hes too Emotional and also going through a lot of stress aljsdlfj
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it đđ#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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SOBBING. whoever invented stomach aches, fuck you
#random thoughts#always. all the time. why me. i'm just a little guy#traipsing frivolously through the magical wood of tumblr. that is until i feel like i'm getting violently punched#just for no. fucking. reason. at least once every week. clearly the universe hates me or smth#just sitting here in my cool clothes with my puffy hair (washed with cold water. it works)#we don't have heating pads. we don't have painkillers. just gonna lie here and suffer as always#too embarrassed to admit to pain irl. i really really want to be cared for but my dad is an asshole and my brother is playing roblox#he's not an asshole though. just annoying#gonna curl up under my covers and try to overheat my tablet that i haven't used in forever. it's old so it can get hot very quickly#your average 5 minute craft. aha#anyway. here is a hnnnnnnnnnn for my mutuals (:
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling âĽ#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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I had a conversation with my brother the other month, and it's making me wonder just how much we don't remember, how many bad things have we simply forgotten? he doesn't even remember that time we genuinely were scared our dad was mad enough to kill us, and we were clinging to each other in fear waiting for him to snap. it's not like we were that young either when that happened
#mine#apparently I never knew why he hated being touched until he told me in that conversation#our dad would constantly grab his arms all the time as a kid#and I either never noticed or just never remembered#if I didn't have my old diary around. even with how sparsely written it is#would I even remember how miserable and upset I was as a child?#how much I hated my family and felt hurt by them#I feel as though I'd have just forgotten it#I can only remember what I remember#but I know there's more#I can see things like vague flashes of me crying and screaming on the stairs during some argument#but what was the argument about? what did my parents say. what did I say. what did either of us do?#I don't remember. I know it happened but I don't remember any details#and that's just one example of many#and having memories so vague it makes it impossible for me to know if I was the villain here. or my parents#as much as a young child can be a villain but-#how much did I instigate or bring upon myself for acting the way I did?#I'll never remember if I was the reasonable one or if I was simply an insane child who my parents didn't know how to deal with#a lot of the 'abuse' could've just as easily been my fault for acting out and misinterpreting the situation badly#I've always had a tendency to overexaggerate and get upset over things that are entirely reasonable in retrospect#who's to say I wasn't just an awful kid who could've just behaved better to avoid any of it#I just decided the world was unfair and ended up being entitled and ungrateful. thinking I suffered when I didn't#but seeing as I'm missing huge parts of my memory. I guess I'll never know for sure
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oh wow i am fucking terrible at pretending to be a person
#my autistic ass going to a meeting to discuss my accommodations with the professors#and just staring at them like a deer in headlights like 0.0#and just listening to them saying what their plan is and saying 'that sounds good thank you' like five times#and like. i meant it every single time. but the lack of variety makes it sound like im repeating off a script#i shudder to imagine the impression ppl probably have of me#this is why i hate being in public ur always being Perceived by people and they will gossip with each other about it#like i am respecting your privacy and trying to improve your comfort by ignoring your presence and forgetting any specific details about you#and here you are refusing my goodwill and challenging me by Perceiving me and forcing me to be aware of that fact#you do realize that your actions are a declaration of war right#and that i am exercising a tremendous amount of restraint by not deleting your existence where you stand#sigh. i could use an eternal break from people. just. the shop is closed and only my friends get to interact with me#ppl always say 'noo you can't only interact with ppl you like' but guess what that's what I've been doing so far and it felt great#hell one of my friends was telling me the other day that his dad only has one friend. that being his wife.#and he doesn't rlly talk to anyone outside of that bc he doesn't want to nor feel the need to do so#and he's happy with it#and i heard that and was like 'your dad is literally living the life like i fucking wish that were me'#sigh. anyway the meeting ended very awkwardly bc i never know how to do greetings especially when ending things#and they kept throwing curveballs at me like 'stay warm during the weekend' which is a very nice sentiment and i tried to talk along with it#but also it threw me completely off guard and i forgot i probably should've told them to stay warm/healthy as well#just. ugh. reciprocating stuff without directly repeating it back is impossible and idk how/why ppl expect me to be able to do it#hell i get surprised whenever i say 'have a good day' or something and someone replies in kind#like theoretically i know that these are greetings ppl say almost as a habit. but it is absolutely not a habit to me#and when i say these generic greetings it's always bc i actually thought it organically and sincerely meant it#i just do not understand how or why ppl greet others all the time and ask these small talk questions that make you balance on a tightrope#maybe i need to move to a city-er city like new york or philly or something#I've heard ppl day chicago is like philly but nicer. well i could stand to get rid of some 'niceness'#and that's where the wonder years are from too so that's another bonus#i just wanna ignore and be ignored by strangers and have conversations that are direct and to the point is that too much to ask#mine#vent
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I know my dads fucking great and all cause he raised me and my sister by himself for over a decade cause mom was a crack head and left, but now that we all are moving out on our own soon he's just like really selfish and clingy. My sisters noticed it too and i get that he's lonely but like I'm not going to fucking baby him forever and be his only fucking source of companionship he needs to find someone else to bother. Like I'm trying so hard to not fucking snap at him I just want him to leave me alone and I know I'm supposed to care and be happy and be nice cause we are all about to live alone most likely in different fucking states so we wont see each other again aside from holidays. But like the time we are supposed to be enjoying he's just weird. He's weird and, as my sister would say " It's triggering me". Like it just fucking sets me off. He's different IDK. I know he's high ever since weed got legalized he's been smoking all the time and I fucking hate him when he's high he's pathetic and annoying as shit. And like yea that's a really fucking mean thing to say but I AM HIS MAIN FUCKING SOCIAL SUPPORT. He comes to me with EVERYTHING. He always sounds so fucking miserable and its only ME that he vents too like that he doesn't vent like that to my sister. And if I say I don't want to he gets fucking pouty? like a fucking child? So I shut down and stare at the wall and let him say whatever nothing it is that he's saying then I leave early cause I'm holding back fucking screaming at him like I don't care shut the fuck up . I can BARELY GET OUT OF FUCKING BED MOST DAYS. FUCK YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE IM DYING I CANT HOLD YOUR BAGGAGE TOO. YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY THEN STOP USING ME AS YOUR FUCKING LIFE PRESERVER IM DROWNING.
FUCK OFF.
#The more i remeber my dad did everything â For his kidsâ The more i realize it was for â HISâ kids. ya know?#I wonder if he just liked the idea of kids#i dont want to live here anymore it sucks#He just feels so selfish these days. He only talks about himself and theres no room to say anything#Leggit i can stand there and look like im about to shoot myself in the head#and he just doesn't stop talking#but he NOTICES.#he KNOWS i dont care he FUCKING SEES IT#I hate that even more#like he doesn't value what I want to do with my time at all#I've heard the same shit for 5 fucking years he just repeats himself im fucking tired of it#I was always pretending to listen cause i didn't really care all that much but not its getting to the point im just so fucking angry man.#He took off an extra day each week to âHelp me with movingâ#He gets high all day and does nothing and when i go to him hes like â oh yea i forgotâ or â oh i did things for me todayâ#Don't fucking act like your taking off for me if it's just an extra day for you cause your tired#If your tired thats fucking fine but how fucking DARE you use me as the reason why your taking off.#Your just getting high you fucking addict#and i leggit spend all monday WAITING for his ass cause im like " well he said im basicly owned by him for this whole fucking day so i have#âTo literally be at his beckon call all day otherwise he will be like â but I said Mondays are for uss :////â Fuck you fuck you fuck you fu#Now i only have one day where i get time alone and im so fucking angry i NEED time alone like i loose my MIND if i dont#Im going to fucking kill someone i stg#âMondays are for usâ Yea bitch and where on the contract did i sign? Like i had no say in this I NEVER do i just sit there and take it#you would never really listen anyway#god this is where i got it from#i got it from him#and mother#Am i evil?#having a really fucking bad day i guess man like shit#im gona play videogames about it felt nice to vent tho omg
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miss pretty
{single dad!katsuki bakugo x kindergarten teacher f!reader}
summary: katsuki bakugo has never liked mess and always made sure his son and his life reflected just that. with years worth of a sparkling clean and organized home, toys put away and not once scattered about, and a barking knack over any calls of disorder in his lifeâ meeting you, his sons sweet and sugary kindergarten teacher who was the definition of pure and who was for some reason turning his fiery heart into complete gooâ was altering his boring strict cycles of no messes around⌠and for the better.
warnings: cursing, FLUFFF GALORE MY GAWD??, no smut but a lil steamy something, slight angst, afab!reader, katsuki thinks you are an ANGEL, sunshine x grumpy trope, mentions of abandonment, WHOLESOME AFFF, use of y/n, all characters are aged up.
word count: 11.4k
authors note: THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BE A MOTHERRRRR omg this one is sickeningly sweet and iâve gotten a few requests to do sunshine x grumpy with sir katsuki and i WAS ALLL OVERRR ITTT i hope i fulfilled!!! <333 THANK YOU THANK YOU AS ALWAYS FOR ALL OF YOU BEING SOOO SWEETT TO MEEE I LOVE YOUUUU MWAAAHHH :] <33333
katsuki bakugo hated messes.
âoi!â he grunted, his sonâs little head turning to look at him as he munched on his gummy fruit snacks from the backseat. âyou better not leave that wrapper in here. take it outside with you when i drop you off.â
âkaaayyy!â his son dragged out happily, completely unphased by his dads snappy personality as he contemplated on which color fruit gummy to eat next.
âand wash your hands too. ask your teacher.â
âmhm!â he chirped.
âand donât be a brat. pay attention.â
âyup yup!â
and for the most part, his life reflected that almost entirelyâ raising his son to always clean up after himself and not make bombastic huge messes around the house, begrudgingly understanding that heâs a small growing human, that a little spill of apple juice or two is basically guaranteed⌠but he just hated mess, and heâll be damned if he doesnât raise his son right to be a clean and organized man even at five years oldâ katsuki keeping everything in his life practically spotless.
that was of course, until he met you.
katsuki shoved through the other parents in line as he went up to the front desk in the main office with a grip on his sons little hand, not giving a damn about the glares and huffs of bewilderment he got as there was no way in hell he was gonna wait like an idiot with the rest of them.
the lady at the front desk raised a quizzical eyebrow.
âcan i helpââ
âwhere the fuck is room twenty four.â
her eyes bulged open as the rest of the parents in line softly gasped and murmured.
âeâexcuse me?ââ
he rolled his eyes.
âroom twenty four.â he pushed. âwhere is it?â
âsirâ if you need me to help you iâd like you to wait in line untilââ
âhah?! absolutely not.â he spat. âif i wait in that fucking line my sonâs gonna be late why canât you just tell meââ
âuh sir if you couldââ
katsukiâs son giggled as he continued to spout profanities at the poor front desk lady.
ââsir please no foul language there are children aroundââ
âi donât give a shit! just tell me where room twenty four is what the hell is so hard about that?!ââ
âoh! thatâs my class!â
katsuki snapped his head over, fiery red eyes shooting towards the voice until they landed on yours.
âis he one of my kids?â you smiled sweetly, eyes coming down to look at his son.
âohââ he let his shoulders relax just a tad as he watched you fix the strap of his sons backpack on his shoulder. âi meanâ if your class is twenty fourââ
âit is!â you beamed, nudging your head. âiâll show you where!â
âhiii miiiissss!â his son greeted, happy and silly as he followed you down the hall.
âhi honey!â you gushed, just as excited as he was as you patted over his blonde scruffy hair. âwhatâs your name?â
âmilo!â
ânice to meet you milo! are you excited for your first day?â
âyeaaahh!â he cheered, smile bright as he grabbed your hand.
katsukiâs eyes widened.
âmilo!â he snapped lowly. âwhatâd i tell ya? you canât grab her hand like that you have to askââ
âoh itâs alright!â you dismissed, smiling. âi donât mind it at all! the other kids do it too.â
milo snickered and stuck his little tongue out at his dad, and katsuki rolled his eyes.
âis he yours?â you asked kindly, tilting your head.
âwho else would he beâŚâ he grumbled.
âi guess youâre right!â you giggled. âhe looks just like you.â
katsukiâs eyes flickered to yours before dropping back down, a permanent furrow in his brows as you all rounded the corner.
âhere we areââ
âooo! ooo!â milo hopped up and down. âmiss you have race cars?! dad can i please go?!â
he looked over, a mountain of toys scattered about in the classrooms play area, little kids already making a damn mess and the school day hadnât even officially started yet.
âthe hell you asking me for? ask your teaââ
âmiss miss can i please go play with the race cars?!ââ
âof course my love! go! go have fun.â you smiled, gently ushering him on before milo zoomed over to the play area and crouched down with the rest of the kids.
âoi!â katsuki barked. âput them away when youâre done!â
he huffed under his breath as he watched his son give him a thumbs up and fucking dump the entire bucket of race cars down on the âabcâ play rug, taking one in each hand and dragging them across floor.
âheâs so cuteee.â you grinned. âiâm glad heâs not afraid being itâs his first day.â
âoh fuck no.â he mumbled. âmilo doesnât care. the little runt doesnât have a filter and does whatever the hell he wants without askinâ sometimes.â
he leaned against the doorsill as he watched milo converse with another kid and share a car, satisfaction in his chest that his son was sharing and being nice.
âbut i guess he gets that from me.â he finished off.
you nodded. âbut thatâs a good thing, isnât it?â
he pursed his lips.
âin my experience, not really.â
you hummed.
âi think itâs definitely a good thing⌠iâd rather be assertive of things and not be afraid of what the consequences will be.â
katsuki looked at you, properly this time.
âwhatâs a kindergarten teacher afraid of?â
you shrugged, a slow playful grin spreading across your face.
âparents.â
he snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and you quickly had to look away, a pink buzz to your cheeks at the way his big built arms flexed.
inappropriate inappropriate inappropriateâ
âi donât know how you do it..â he spoke lowly.
âdo what?â
âtake care of little shits all day.â
you laughed loudly, reeling over a bit as he watched you out of the corner of his eye.
âi donât take care of them! i teach them.â you quipped cutely. âtheyâre small, but this is when their brains drink up the most knowledge⌠and i love to see the progress from the beginning of the year compared to the end! i love it all really.â
pure.
katsuki curtly nodded, your sweet positive ambiance throwing him completely off, as he doesnât think heâs ever met or surrounded himself around someone whoâs directly emmitted the feeling of sunshine and rainbows and candy as much as you did.
and his cheeks flared up for some reason.
âoh!â you looked to the time on your little wrist watch and walked inside your classroom. âitâs almost time to start! i have to wrangle them all in their seats heh!â
katsuki swallowed and nodded.
âmilo!â
he turned and upon seeing his dad wave him over, milo dropped his toys and bounded to him.
âdonât give her a hard time alright?â he spoke sternly, nudging his head over at you for emphasis. âlisten. listen and learn and be the best one in there.â
âkaaayyy!â
âand you let me know if any of the other kids mess with you or you deal with it yourself. you already know howââ
âbeat the crap out of them!â he cheered loudly and katsukiâs hand flew to clasp over his sons mouth before his frantic eyes looked at you.
the last thing he needed was someone to call up fucking child protective services on him.
âheâs joking! heâs joking⌠fuck.â
you giggled hard and clutched your stomach, your pretty smile sending katsuki for a loop.
âno youâre absolutely right!â you waved your hands in front of your face, reassuring. âtreat others the way you want to be treated, so if someoneâs being mean to you, bite back milo, okay? and also let me know first though!â
katsuki gave you a wobbly tiny smile amidst his branded serious face, looking at his son then and ruffling up his hair.
âokay, go.â milo ran off. âand donât let me pick you up with dirt all over your clothes ya hear me?!â
âbyeee daaaddd!â
you could tell that behind his harsh exteriorâ the slight purse of his lips, stiff frame and bouncing leg gave away that he was only worried about his kid and his first day of school, a sight youâve seen time and time again since you started working as a kindergarten teacher, and one that never failed to warm your heart.
âdonât worry!â you sweetly smiled, and katsuki switched his gaze over to yours. âiâll watch him especially⌠okay? to ease the nerves.â
he softly snorted, attempting to play it off but internally relieved as he pushed himself off the doorsill and nodded, thankful that the teacher milo got was as kind as you.
âumâŚâ he mumbled. âkatsuki.â
you tilted your head. âkatsuki?â
âitâs my name idiot.â
âoh!â you giggled, a blush rising in your cheeks again as you tried to simmer it down. ânice to meet you katsuki! iâll see you after school then with milo?â
he stiffly nodded, the way his name sounded so sugary off your tongue something heâd never heard before in his life or was used to at all.
ââŚya gonna tell me yours or what?â
âsorry!â you sputtered, laughing nervously. âsorry it justâ flew! you knowââ
you stuck your hand out and offered it to him.
ây/n!â
katsuki untangled his arms and firmly shook it, grip strong and one that nearly made you stumble forward as you caught yourself and smiled.
âiâll see you katsuki!â
out of all of the kids youâve taught, milo was by far the cutest one.
the little man was like your personal assistantâ a little bee buzzing around as he followed you everywhere in the classroom and helped you clean up after the rest of the kids that didnât, âyellingâ at some of them to and cutely scolding them whenever heâd catch them leave some things behind, and was always on watch for you like a security guard with his little balled up fists on his hips, surveilling the classroom for any misbehaving kids or messes that youâd missed throughout the day.
all traits you no doubt knew he got from katsuki, even if you had just met him. it was pleasantly obvious.
âthanks for helping me out today, milo!â you gushed, pushing another students chair in as they all sat down and chattered for lunch. âyou made my job a lot easier!â
âreally?!â he squealed, big glimmering eyes beaming up at you before he happily chowed down on some apple slices.
and you noticed then miloâs lunch was insane, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut up and molded neatly into the shape of panda bears, his watermelon and apple slices shaped like stars with carrots and celery lined up with a little wedge of lemon if he wished, tiny rice balls on the side for a little snack you figured in case what he had didnât fill him upâ all so considerate and carefulâŚ
âwow!â you exclaimed, kneeling down next to him. âyour lunch looks so yummy my love! did your mommy make this?â
ânuh uh!â he shook his head, cheeks filled with watermelon. âmy dad did!â
you faltered.
âkatsuki made this?â
âwhoâs katsuki miss?â he asked curiously, sipping on his little juice box after swallowing the fruit in his mouth.
you giggled. ânothing! nothing. enjoy your lunch okay?â
you went to stand, but miloâs hand shot out and caught your wrist.
âcan youâ can you eat lunch with me?â he mumbled shyly, fiddling with some carrot pieces in his hands. âplease.. i always eat with my dad but heâs not hereâŚâ
your eyes softened and you quickly nodded.
âof course! let me just go grab my lunch and ill bring it over! sounds good?â
âyaaaayyyy!â he cheered happily, arms up as you scooched a tiny chair over from a nearby table and sat with him, laughing at his cute expression.
you knew you shouldnât use a little kid to pry⌠but you were guiltily curious as to know if katsuki was married or not for reasons that made you ridiculously flustered and red in the face over.
and you wanted to be respectful in case he was⌠since the ogling you did at his muscles this morning through his black ribbed tank was the most embarrassing moment of your career and one you hadnât seen coming at all, it catching you off guard and feeling horrible if katsuki indeed had a wife.
but he didnât have a ring on his fingerâŚ
âmilo?â you spoke up softly.
he smiled big. âyes miss!â
âdoes your mommy make you lunch as well or just your dad?â
he shook his head. âjust my dad! i donât have a mom.â
your shoulders deflated.
he didnât have a mom⌠at all?
you slowly reached over then and patted his blonde hair, smiling warmly as his cheeks went pink. âthatâs alright! iâm sure your dad makes you lunches like this every time huh?â
âyeah!â he gasped excitedly. âyesterday he made pizzas and cut them into dinosaurs! it was so cool! and then!â and then this morning for breakfast i had waffles that looked like dynamite blasts!â
âoh my goodness!â you giggled, your heart absolutely thumping over the fact that katsuki was so dedicated to his son like that. âman, i wish my lunches were as cute as yours!â
his little eyes snapped to yours.
âiâll tell him!â
your brows furrowed confusedly. âwhaââ
âto make you lunch! iâll tell my dad to make you lunch!â
your eyes widened and you frantically shook your head, cheeks blazing as you laughed. âoh no my love! thatâs totally okay donât worry about me sillyââ
âiâll tell him iâll tell him iâll tell him!ââ
âmilo itâs okay! iâm a big girl.â you grinned. âiâm supposed to make my own lunches.â
milo grumbled and plopped a carrot in his mouth, begrudgingly chewing as he sat there in thought.
ââŚwill you at least let me share some of mine?â
you pouted at his generosity, wondering how a kid could be so sweet as you nodded and held your hand up.
âof course sweetie! whatever you waââ
milo plopped all of his peanut butter sandwiches in your palm and grinned, earning a gasp from you.
âmilo this is too much i canâtââ
âeat it! eat it! eait it!ââ
by the end of the day, you managed to get milo to take back his sandwiches in exchange for one singular watermelon star piece, him still doing his regular duties of being your little assistant and helping you clean up after everyone before the final bell rang signaling the end of class, you carefully making sure each kiddo got their designated backpack (as there was often a mix up) and art pieces they made for their parents to take homeâ a permission slip for the end of the year field trip tucked away inside their bags.
and the minute you stepped outside with the rest of the kids, you were surprised to see that katsuki was one of the first parents there as he stood directly across from your classroom with crossed arms, an angry usual scowl on his face that made you laugh to yourself as you led your kids to sit down on a bench in a single file line until their parents physically came to get them or their vehicles pulled up.
âmilo!â you tapped his shoulder gently. âyour daddyâs over there!â
âDAAADDD!!â
milo jumped up and ran across the grass, his tiny arms out as katsuki smiled softly and crouched down to pick his son up and settle him on his lower abdomen, you wringing your fingers behind your back and walking up to them.
âwere you a brat?â he grunted.
ânope!â
âdid any kids mess with you?â
ânope!â
âdid you leave a mess?â
ânope!â
you giggled, and katsukiâs eyes snapped in your direction.
âhow was he?â
âhe did so good!â you gushed, patting miloâs back as he grinned. âwas my little helper and everything! didnât leave a single mess behind and helped me clean up after everyone else⌠he even made sure everyone was paying attention and not misbehaving.â
âyeah! yeah! see dad?â milo poked his dads cheek. âi didnât lie!â
ânever said you lied you little runt.â he scowled. ââŚbut good job.â
âthanks!â
katsuki set him down after milo started kicking his legs and saying something about the swings, him instantly running towards the playground and to the slide.
âdid he actually do all of that?â he spoke up.
âoh yes!â you quickly nodded. âiâve never had a kid do that before so it was really nice of him to!â
you detached your fingers from around your back and fiddled with them.
âyou teach him well katsuki.â
he scoffed and turned his head, cheeks pink as he tried to regain his composure.
âdamn right i do.â
you giggled then, the memory of milo telling you he didnât have a mother suddenly popping into your mind as you watched him happily slide down the blue slide head first.
âhey i donât mean to um..â you timidly began. âi donât mean to pry butââ
katsuki raised a brow at you and you snapped your mouth shut.
ânothing! nothing nevermindââ
âspit it out.â
âno itâs alright! sorry iââ
he glared and you cowered, smiling bashfully as you bit your bottom lip.
âmilo⌠milo mentioned that he didnât have a mommy? i was justâ wondering if that was trueâŚâ
âtchââ he shook his head. âthatâs what you were afraid of askinâ me?â
âi told you iâm scared of parentsâŚâ you slumped cutely, and he chuckled.
âitâs just me and him.â he answered. âhis momâs never been a part of our lives.â
your heart sunk a little, eyes sad as your gaze shifted to milo playing and racing around with another kid.
âdonât do that.â
you jumped and looked at katsuki.
âdoâ do whatââ
âlook all sad and shit.â
he hesitantly reached over and planted an index finger to the crease between your brows, the feeling rough as he tried to gently drag it down and smooth over the lines.
âitâs fine.â he grumbled, letting his arm fall to his side. âit doesnât bother him. at least i donât think it does.â
âno!â you spoke quickly, a crazed blush on your cheeks. âit doesnât! and milo speaks so highly of you⌠especially the lunches you make him.â
his brows furrowed. âhis lunch?â
âyeah!â you nodded excitedly. âyou prepare it so so well! how do you get his sandwiches to look like little bears? and his fruit?! every time i try to cut mine into stars they always break in halfâŚâ
he huffed out a laugh, finding your little whine funny as he reached over and ruffled up your hair, you smiling cheekily in response.
âdo you use molds?â you asked politely. âto shape out the bear?â
âfuck no.â he scoffed. âi do it myself.â
your eyes flew open.
âwhat?! so thatâs really just you? and the dinosaurs too? the pizza dinosaurs? and the waffles? the ones that looked like dynamite blastsââ
âjesus christ how much did that kid tell you?â
your face grew hot as you smacked a hand over your mouth.
âsorry!â you giggled. âi just was thinkingâ that his lunch was really cute and thoughtfulâŚâ you took your hand away from your face. âiâm really glad that you do little things like that for milo to make him happy.â
katsuki stared at you, your swarm of compliments and sweetness and sunshine and butterflies almost suffocating as you looked at him with those pretty doe eyes, his throat oddly closing up the longer he stared right back and allowed you to pull him into your world of wonder and abc blocks and puzzles.
but it wasnât suffocating in a bad way, not at all.
and⌠maybe he did want you to pull him in.
âdad dad dad!â
milo ran over, sweaty and red faced as he reached the two of you.
âthereâs a dead lizard in the slide!â
âa dead lizard?â you laughed, surprised as you reached for his little water bottle from his backpack on the ground and uncapped the lid, handing it over and ushering him to drink.
katsuki didnât know why the domestic sight of you doing that made him melt a bit.
a bit.
âyeah miss! it was big and gross.â he breathed out after gulping some of his icy cold water. âbut i buried him!â
his dads red eyes snapped down to his and narrowed.
âdonât tell me you touched that thing milo.â
âi did!â he giggled.
âoh my fucking godââ katsuki snatched his hand and started pulling him to the car as milo giggled and stuck his tongue out.
âitâs a prank! some other girl in my class did⌠but i helped with the dirt!â
you chuckled softly as you watched katsuki stop and roll his eyes, coming back over to you with a hyper milo.
âsay bye to your teacher ya little runt. and youâre still taking a shower when you get home!â
âbut i donât wanna take a showeerrr!â milo whined, letting go of his dads hand and running to you, you crouching and extending your arms big with a pretty smile.
âbye my love!â you hugged him tight as he giggled. âiâll see you tomorrow okay? and give your daddy a break. no more digging up dirt and playing with dead lizards.â
âkaayyyy!â
you both let go and he stepped back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before bouncing back to his dad.
katsuki choked on his spit.
âoi!â he barked. âyou canât just kiss her cheek milo the hell is going on with you?!ââ
âitâs okay donât worry!â you smiled kindly. âheâs just being sweet is all! i donât mind.â
âyou sure?â he pushed, milo snickering. âiââ
you waved him off and wrung your fingers behind your back, leaning forward.
âiâll see you tomorrow morning kats!â
and he froze, nodding hard as he quickly took miloâs hand and backpack before walking to the car, his heart completely aflame in his chest and cheeks red as he led his babbling son further into the parking lot and inside the car, buckling him up in his car seat before hopping in himself and starting the engine, unbelieving that he had barely just met you and he was already thinking and acting like a fucking dumbass.
âand then we learned the days of the week! oh!â and we learned numbers! i can count to fifteen dad!â
âthatâs good milo.â he responded, pulling out of the schools parking lot and craning his neck to see if he could catch a final glimpse of you and settling once he did, you so pretty and conversing so nicely with another kid until he was out of the lot.
âdid you eat all of your lunch? y/n tells me ya shared with her.â
âi did! i did share with her.â he grinned. âshe liked my lunch!â
âgood.â katsuki gave him a thumbs up through the rear view mirror. âthatâs good that you always share. especially with her.â
âyup yup! sheâs preeettyyy.â
he rolled his eyes, but a small smile grew at the corner of his lips as he nodded curtly.
âthat she is.â
katsuki continued to drop off his son personally at your classroom every morning before school.
even when it had been a couple of months into the year, at this point many students already used to their route to and out of class and their parents just dropping them off and leavingâ them not even allowed on campus as security rounded every corner and told any parents who wished to go in that they werenât supposed to, as per policy.
but not katsuki.
katsuki didnât give a fuck as he stormed through the main office and ignored the calls of the front desk lady, her already used to the rude asshole who came through the building every morning as he strode by and down the hall to class twenty four⌠wanting to see youâ his sonâs pretty kindergarten teacher that was sweet and joyful and someone who was everything he wasnât, his mind curious and filled with your giggles and smiles throughout the time that heâd gotten to know you and chat with you in the mornings and the afternoons, loving the way you were with milo and treated him like he was literally your ownâ always watching over him and making sure he had had enough to eat and drink and that his hands were washed when he wasnât around.
and even katsuki himselfâ you bringing him candy bags from their classroom parties or donuts that were passed to faculty in the mornings and saving yours for him, treats he always took and ate with no questions asked even though he wasnât a fan of sugary shit and junk food, always making the exception for you.
he had never experienced honest help like that⌠heâd never experienced someone caring enough about him and his son like the way you did so perfectly every single dayâŚ
and katsuki feared that he was a little obsessed.
âoh! miss y/n!â
âyes honey?â you responded kindly, opening a juice pouch for another student and handing it to them carefully during lunch.
milo dug into his lunch pail and pulled out a small container, sticking his hand up and offering it to you.
your brows furrowed, taking it from him.
âwhatâs this milo?â
âitâs from my dad!â
you stopped, heart dropping to your ass as you recounted his words.
from katsuki?
âyourâ your dad?â
âmhm!â
you shakily popped the lid of the container open, eyes widening and filling with hearts once you saw a mix of star shaped strawberries and watermelon and papayas, drizzled over with sparkling strings of honey and singular little blueberries scattered about.
âfor me?â you asked softly, crouching down next to milo. âmy loveâ are you sure this isnât for you? i think your dad cut these up for youââ
ânope! for you!â he gave you a big toothy smile before stuffing his mouth with crackers. âhe told me not to eat it and to give it to you.â
he swallowed and reached up, you tilting down your head so he could pat it just like you always did for him.
âi hope you like it miss! they look like the ones you told me looked cute!â
âiâ i love them milo.. thank you!â
you picked up a papaya piece and ate it, entirely dazed and love struck as your tastebuds savored over the sweet velvety thick honey, literally blinking back tears at how thoughtful and kind katsuki was.
he didnât have to do this at all⌠yet he took the time anyways out of his morning to do this for you.
and your heart nearly fucking gave out.
after school once you got your rowdy kids to sit neatly on the bench and wait for their parents, you extended a hand for milo and he hopped off the bench and took it, you both walking up to a waiting katsuki as he stood there with a soft smile on his face.
âhi kats!â
âhey.â he picked his son up and settled him over his abdomen, miloâs arms clinging around his neck and chin propped up on his dads shoulder as he was exhausted from a days worth of playing and learning.
âi wanted to umââ you peered up at him. âi umââ
his brows furrowed, and just as he was about to bark about you stumbling over your words, he stopped.
your bottom lip was trembling.
you hurriedly wiped your eyes.
âi wanted to thank youââ hic! âfâfor the star shaped fruit this morningââ
âwhy are you crying dumbass?â he mumbled, reaching over and wiping some tears with his rough fingers.
âbecause it was so nice!â you sobbed, shoulders shaking as you let him wipe your cheeks. âandâ and you put honey over it too! you didnât have to do any of that for me!â
âtchââ
he flicked your forehead softly, not enough to hurt you but enough to get you to snap out of your hiccups as you sniffled.
âitâs just fruit y/nââ
âbut itâs not.â you wiped your eyes again. ânot to me anywaysâŚâ
katsuki slowly lowered his arm, gaze tracing over your pretty face and perfect hair and the way you cried over something so stupid, his brain unable to process the fact that an act as simple as cutting fruit up for you could make you this happy, and it made him want to see what you saw for onceâ how you saw the world for exactly what it was and appreciated it regardless of how big or small things were, not snippy or angry or spiteful over everyone and thinking everything was out to get him and his son.
âcrybabyâŚâ he grumbled. âiâm glad you liked it though.â
âi did kats.. a lot. thank you.â you wiped the last of your tears and smiled. âiâm sorry i cried.â
what a pretty sweet girlâŚ
he shook his head and hoisted milo up, him completely knocked out with drool coming out of his mouth as katsuki felt it run down his shoulder, barely even noticing that though as his entire focus was trained purely on you.
was it okay if he⌠asked you out? would it be weird? would you tell him to fuck off?
katsuki internally rolled his eyes at his stupid fucking high school boy thoughts, though it didnât alleviate the gnawing feeling that if you did tell him to fuck off⌠that heâd be angrily mortified at his fail and probably lose the right to talk to you since itâd be too awkward to.
but you were just so fucking sweet. all of the time.
âlisten uhââ he cleared his throat, face growing hot. âi was wondering if ya wanted to eat dinner with me⌠sometime.â
you stared, eyes big and shocked and katsuki took it defensively and entirely the wrong way.
âforget it.â he snapped. âforget it i didnât say shitââ
âno! no noââ you quickly shook your head. âno itâs okay i would!â
he stopped.
âyou would?â
âof course!â you expressed sweetly, cheeks hurting from how big you were smiling as you tried to simmer down your giddy squeals. âiâd love to have dinner with youâŚâ
his tense shoulders slowly relaxed, an eventual small smile growing on his face.
âaâalright uhâŚâ he sighed. âiâd prefer to take ya somewhere nice but i donât really have anyone to watch miloââ
you shook your head again, brows pinched. âoh no katsâ we donât have to go anywhere at all! we can order something in at your place and eat with milo? orâ or my place?â
âmy place.â he replied. âand iâll cook.â
he cooks?!
âokay!â you giggled, your hand reaching up and patting over miloâs sleepy head gently. âsounds good!â
katsuki and you agreed on the details of the date after and bid each other bashful goodbyes, swooning as you watched him walk away into the parking lot with a sleeping milo in his arms and feeling like none of this was fucking real, for you couldnât believe someone as handsome and cool as katsuki would ever be interested in someone like you.
and funnily enough, he felt the complete opposite, stressed and extra snappy as he cleaned the house from top to bottom (though it barely needed it), unnecessarily fixed the positioning of the furniture and made milo put away his toys, him not even whining or protesting like he usually did solely because the little man knew you were comingâ pretty miss y/n with the pretty smile and the nicest lady he had ever met, and one he secretly hoped would be his new mommy every time he saw you and his dad converse before and after school, thinking you would fit the role perfectly.
especially after his dad had given you those fruits as a present!
âmilo!â katsuki called. âcome âere!â
his son ran into the kitchen, toy race car in hand. âwhat!â
âbe good today, ya hear me?â he pushed, face stern as he flipped a kitchen towel over his shoulder and sautĂŠed vegetables in his frying pan. âplease milo. donât try to be funny and do somethinâ to scare y/n off.â
milo gave him a look.
âscare miss y/n off? dad youâre gonna scare her off not me!â he giggled. âsilly.â
âyeah..â he grunted. âyouâre probably right but iâm just sayinâ. iâm thinking of the time grandma came over and ya put that fake rat in her purse to try and be funny.â
âohhh yeeeeah!â he doubled over in little fits of laughter, holding his stomach as he did. âi did do that!â
âsee what i mean?â katsuki grumbled, snatching the kitchen towel from his shoulder and throwing it down on the counter top, stepping back to peek in the oven. âyou better not do that with y/n please.â
âi wonât!â he grinned. ânot when sheâs about to be my new mommy!â
katsuki choked as his spit went down the wrong pipe, bending over and coughing uncontrollably in his elbow before spinning around and looking at his son with wide eyes and pink cheeks.
âthe hell you just say?â
âwhat!â milo tilted his head. âthat y/n is gonna be my new mommy?â
his eyes grew even wider as he dropped the pan he was holding on the stove and leaned back, running his hands over his face.
âoh you little runt please donât say that in front of her, alright?â
he pouted. âwhy not?â
âyouâll scare her off! worse than when you put that fake rat in grandmas purse!â
âboooo!â milo stuck his tongue out and crossed his little arms over his chest. âwhatever.â
âoi!â
âwhat!â
katsukiâs doorbell chimed and milo booked it to the front door.
âmissss preettyyyy!!ââ
âmilo get your ass back here!ââ
katsuki swung the door open and swooped his son in his arms just as he was about to pounce on you in midair, you giggling and covering your mouth as you watched the scene unfold before you.
âiâm sorryââ
âhiii misss y/nnn!â milo greeted happily, dangling off of his dad as katsuki tried to stop him from wiggling out of his grip. âiâm so exciteeeddd!ââ
âhi my love!â you gushed warmly, smile wide as you extended your arms and walked forward, taking milo in your arms and setting him on your hip. âhow are you? you excited to hang out with meee?â
âyes! yes!â he vigorously nodded. âi wanna show you all my race cars!â
âoh i canât wait to seeee!â you bounced him on your hip and he giggled, you turning your attention and smiling at katsuki.
âhi kats!â
âthe little brat is hoggingââ
milo blew a silly raspberry at him before wrapping his arms around you and shoving his face into your neck.
you laughed and ran a soothing hand over the little manâs back, katsuki rolling his eyes before stepping to the side and letting you in, shutting the door behind him and leading you over to the kitchen.
and jesus christ you looked beautiful, him noting that pink was what you mainly wore on the day to day as he eyed your small rosy cardigan, you walking through his home and looking around and oblivious to the way he was staring at you like a fucking creep.
katsuki bit the inside of his cheek as he watched your eyes scan your surroundings, stupidly nervous about what youâd think of his house and furniture and minuscule decorations, and annoyed with himself that heâd even give a shit about something like that, trying to occupy himself and ignore it as he looked in the oven and lifted lids of various pots and pans, checking over tonightâs dinner.
âiâm sorry iâm behindâŚâ he grumbled and waved his hand around. âhad to clean the house and shower milo since he decided to play in the fuckinâ mud this morning.â
âoh you donât have to apologize for that kats!â you looked at him worriedly. âyou donât have to apologize for anything i totally understandâŚâ
you hoisted milo further up your hip and grinned. âiâm just happy to spend time with the both of you.â
katsuki felt smoke puff out of his red ears as he nodded and scratched the back of his neck, turning slightly and lifting the lids from his pots and pans again.
âmiss preettyyyy!â milo whined. âwhen can i show you my race cars?!â
katsuki scowled and you laughed.
ânow honey! but how about we move some of your toys to the living room so i can spend time with both you and dad? how does that sound?â
âyayayay!!â milo cheered, bouncing on your hip as you smiled cutely and set him down, him running off down the hall and you quickly following after him.
milo talked you through his entire collection of race cars as you both sat down on the living room rugâ telling you the model of each and every one, what they did, how fast they went, they places theyâd gone, and which were his favorites as you excitedly talked to him about his cars and shifted conversation between him and katsuki, a task he was surprised you did so efficiently, but then quickly realized that that was literally your fucking job everyday dealing with little brats talking your ears off and you attending all of them at the same time.
and when it came around to dinner time, you helped katsuki set up even through his snapping and huffing that you absolutely shouldnât, you giving him a silly little face as you assisted anyways and set up miloâs booster seat, picking him up and sitting him down before buckling him up while katsuki placed your dishes on the tableâ
and gourmet fucking dishes at that.
you were bewildered. absolutely bewildered as you gawked over the lasagna platter he set before you, it delicate and fancy looking as he had even draped sauce on your gray ceramic plate in gourmet intricate designs, knowing that katsuki had mentioned to you he was a chef over the several months youâd gotten to know him, but you didnât know exactly to which extent that chef occupation stretched to.
âkatsâŚâ you murmured. âwhat do you do for a living.â
âi told you idiot.â he passed over a couple of napkins and you gratefully took them, taking one then and wiping down miloâs mouth as he messily ate his cut up pieces of lasagna. âiâm a cook.â
âyeah but what kind? where?â
âwhy?â he gruffed. âdoes it look like shit?â
âno!â you giggled. âabsolutely not the opposite actually! this is probably the most beautiful lasagna iâve ever seen in my life.â
âduh.â he responded, but sent you a small smile as he ate. âiâm an executive chef down at a restaurant in the city.â
your jaw dropped. âthe city?! youâre so cool kats! oh my goodness!â
his face flushed.
âmy dad says his boss is a piece ofââ
âdonât say it!â katsuki snapped at his son, eyes wide as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing, not wanting to encourage the little man any further.
âmilo i told ya not to cuss until youâre tenââ
âten?!â you giggled loudly and let your hand fall, sticking your fork in your lasagna and eating. âas long as he cusses with you and not at you⌠i think it should be fine!â
katsuki stopped.
you get it. or you rile up his bad cussing habit. either or he might as well have found his fucking soulmate.
âmiss pretty!â milo called.
âyes my love?â
âdo you have a boyfriend?â
katsuki smacked a hand on his forehead and you snickered.
âi donât!â you grinned. âwhy milo?â
âbecause i want you to be my newââ
âmilo if ya shut your mouth right now iâll buy you two new race cars tomorrow.â
his son gasped dramatically and pursed his lips shut, eyes big and excited as he tried to contain himself and do as told.
âhis new what?â you tilted your head cutely, katsukiâs heart hammering against his rib cage as he stuffed his mouth with food.
he shrugged. âthe fuck should i know?â
âbut i wanna know!â you pouted, taking your final bites of your yummy dinner.
he swallowed.
âdo you want dessert?â
you gasped. âoh my god yes! i do!â
âthen i suggest you shut your mouth too.â
you laughed over the table, quickly nodding as you pursed your lips like milo and pinched your thumb and index finger together, running it across your mouth and twisting your wrist like a pretend lock before dropping your hand in your lap, giddy and excited over dessert.
katsuki playfully rolled his eyes and stood, collecting all of your plates and stacking them on top of each other before taking them over to the sink.
âdad!â milo called as he bounced in his seat, katsuki grunting in response.
âwhatâd you make for dessert!â
âmochi.â
âyaaaayyyyy!â he cheered happily. âcan i eat it with y/n in the living room?â
katsukiâs brows furrowed. âthe living room?â
âyeah!â milo exclaimed. âso i can keep showing her my race cars!â
he struggled for a moment before eventually nodding. âalright⌠but donât make a mess i just cleanedââ
you and milo ended up building a fucking fort once he gave you the all clear, you both saying something about it adding to the ambiance as you used the couch cushions for makeshift walls and miloâs choo choo train sheets for the roof and tent, katsuki before he knew it his entire living room a fucking mess as the three of you sat amongst the scattered about pillows and blankets eating your bits of mochi, milo mainly inside the little tent you made for him as you and katsuki were too big to fit inside with him.
his living room was a mess⌠but he didnât mind.
katsuki didnât mind the mess.
your way of living was entirely different from his, as yours had everything to do with mess due to your full time job with kidsâ paint all over your hands and face, marker stains on your clothes and sticky glue residue and pieces of cut up construction paper somehow in your hair, all things katsuki despised for years and made sure his house never reflected any of that.
but in that moment, with his living room in complete disarray and the positioning of his couches utterly fucked up? the dishes still in the sink and the table still set?
katsuki didnât fucking care.
because he had never seen his son so happy. he had never seen him so excited and hyper as you helped him set up and somehow tie fairy lights that katsuki had somewhere up in his attic for holiday seasons around the fort, you looking fucking gorgeous under the dim dark lightning as you read milo one of his favorite childrenâs books you got from his little shelf in his roomâ âthe very hungry caterpillar,â one of your favorites too as his son followed along with you and giggled whenever youâd make a silly joke only a five year old would find funny.
and katsuki felt warm⌠thatâs all he ever felt when he was around you.
is this what it was like to be a family?
âoh my goodness i almost forgot!â you quickly sat up and handed milo the book, him taking it as you crawled over and reached for your bag. âi brought something for you honey!â
milo gasped and sat up. âreally?! what?!â
you pulled out a ceramic cream colored globe with hollowed out stars, a small bulb inside as you scooched on your knees back over to a curious katsuki and milo.
âwoah..â his son whispered. âwhat is it?â
you smiled and reached for the nearest outlet, plugging in the little globe and flicking a switch.
the darkened room illuminated itself then with the soft murmur of a lullaby playing, star shaped shadows slowly shifting around the entire living room as milo gasped and stood, frantically pointing at each moving shadow and gushing while his little mind was trying to process how cool and fascinating this was.
and all katsuki could do was stare at you.
stare at the way you sat back on your ankles and pointed with milo, counting how many stars you could see before it shifted and repeating that for fun, stare at the way both of your eyes glowed with wonder and curiosity, and stare at the way you smiled so gracefully and looked unreal now under the starry lights, his heart on overdrive at how gentle you were and how much you cared about his son.
about him.
and katsuki was sure then he was absolutely sick over you.
you all settled after a while of playing games and eating more mochi, especially milo, the little lullaby knocking him out as he snored next to you in his fort, you and katsuki laying down next to each other as you stared up at the shifting stars.
âiâm sorry i made such a mess in your living room..â you whispered bashfully. âi promise iâll pick everything up before i leave.â
he shook his head. âdonât worry about it i can pick up. itâs fine.â
you smiled at him warmly before looking back up at the ceiling, feet planted on the blanketed flooring as your mindlessly moved your propped up knees side to side.
âwas it hard raising milo on your own kats?â you asked softly, fingers wrung together neatly on your tummy.
âit was at first.â he mumbled. âbut i got used to doinâ it on my own.â
you frowned, not particularly happy with the idea that katsuki had to raise a human being on his own without any help or guidance, wishing that he wouldâve had someone there to help him every once in a while, or just be there for him.
âyou did an exceptional job, okay?â you began. âyou should know that... milo is such an honest kid⌠and heâs so precious too.â
katsukiâs eyes softened, and he couldnât bring himself to look at you in fear of you noticing his stupid flustered face as he opted for keeping his gaze glued to the starry ceiling, your sugary peachy perfume not fucking helping as he decided to sit up instead.
âhe is.â he grunted softly. âdonât know how his mom didnât see that.â
you faltered and sat up with him.
âwhat do you mean?â
katsuki eyed you before looking down, hands flat behind him propping himself up as he thought.
âah⌠milo happened because of some random hookup i had in college.â he mumbled. âdidnât love her or anythinâ, i barely knew her but still told her iâd support her and the baby obviously.â
you nodded, encouraging him to continue.
âi was there through her entire pregnancy and when milo was born⌠but the minute she got discharged from the hospital and took him with her, i woke up at four in the morninâ with a knock on my door and milo left abandoned on my doorstep.â
you gasped, hand hovering over your mouth.
âare youâ are you serious?â
katsuki nodded.
âshe wouldnât answer my calls, my texts, nothing. i went to her house and found out she took the first flight she could to fuck knows where.â he shook his head bitterly. âbut i didnât give a shit about me iâll raise him i donât care. it was never about me.
he looked at you. âit was about milo. i didnât want him to know that his âmomâ left him behind like that, and i didnât want him to think it was his fault or anythinâ⌠shits ridiculous.â
katsuki shifted his gaze back up to the ceiling. âstill donât know how she could ever do something like that.â
the sound of a hiccup make his eyes widen and snap back to you, your eyes filled with fat tears as your bottom lip wobbled, hands coming up to cup over your mouth and nose as you tried to keep it in.
âyouâre crying?â
you nodded, squeaky slight sobs slipping past your throat as you strained to keep everything down.
âthatâs so cruel.â you cried softly, embarrassingly drowning in your tears in front of him yet again. âyou didnât deserve that at all kats⌠milo didnât deserve that you both shouldâve had such a good mommy andâ and a good support systemââ
katsuki pushed himself up and wrapped his big arms around your shoulders, pulling you in and rubbing a hand up and down your back comfortingly.
âyou cry over everything y/n.â
âsââ hic! ââsorryââ
he laid the side of his head on top of yours as you shook, somehow feeling guilty of what he told you just because of how much you were crying.
more than when he gave you those star shaped fruits.
âoiâŚâ
katsuki pulled back and looked at you, reaching up and wiping your tears with his thumbs.
âdonât cry babyâŚâ
baby?!
you funnily sobbed even more and shoved your face in his chest, him chuckling as he wrapped his arms back around you and gently swayed side to side.
âstop it idiot.â he mumbled. âitâs fine. it happened years ago nâ milo and i have always been alright on our own.â
âŚbut he wanted you now.
now that he knew what it was like to be softly cared for by someone precious like you, to feel what it was like to be warm and fuzzy and sunshine and rainbows and candy all of the time⌠and katsuki wanted you so. bad.
âi know..â you hiccuped. âand iâm really glad but i just wish you had someone.â
you pulled away and quickly wiped your wet cheeks. âmâsorry i cried all over your shirtââ
âdonât give a fuck.â
you breathed out a laugh and dropped your hands in your lap, looking at your fingers as you sniffed.
you were always crying for him.
ây/n.â
âyeah?â
he looked to the side with a blush to his cheeks.
âthanks for cominâ today.â
you smiled brightly and nodded.
âof course kats! how could i not?â you looked behind you to a sleeping milo, reaching over and pulling his blanket a little further up his shoulders. âi want you to know that i wanna be there for you and miloâŚâ
he shifted his gaze to you as you turned back around.
âwhetherâ whether you wanna keep seeing me or notââ you gnawed nervously at the inside of your cheek. âwhich i hope you do! butâ but if not thatâs totally fine i just want to be there for you bothâŚâ
how were you so pure? so thoughtful?
âwhy the hell wouldnât i wanna keep seeing you?â he huffed, grumbly and embarrassed as he pursed his lips. âiâd be stupid as fuck not toâŚâ
you blushed, happy shiny eyes looking at him eagerly like he was everything and more, and he wasnât used to people looking at him like that whatsoever as your gaze flickered down to his lips and back up.
and you were so pretty.
ây/n.â
âmhm?â
he slowly leaned closer.
âwould you be mad if i made a move on youââ
âof course notââ
katsuki lunged and planted his rough lips on yours, you tasting like straight sugar and honey as he placed his big hands on the sides of you head and held you like a piece of delicate glass, kissing and sliding your tongues in each others mouths rather quickly and breathy as he moved one hand from your pretty face down to your waist to grip it.
you placed your hands on the blanketed floor and slowly crawled over to him during the makeout, him reaching and wrapping the rest of his built muscly arms around your waist and pulling you to straddle his lap as he ran his hands up and down your sides and back, wanting to feel you as much as he possibly could and squeeze you tight as he gulped your little self down, brows furrowed and lips red.
katsuki pulled away and ran his fiery wet mouth across your jaw and to the spot right below your ear on the side of your neck, your hands gripping his broad shoulders as he bit and sucked and still squeezed you, manhandling you in a way and eating you up.
your eyes fluttered open once you heard a slight rustle, your line of sight catching milo shifting a little in his sleep.
âkâkatsââ you breathlessly whispered, pushing a little at his shoulders.
he grunted.
âmiloââ you pointed. âheâs waking upââ
âthe fucks that gotta do with usââ
âkats!â
he groaned and pulled his mouth from you, scowling over to see his son only shifted positions and was now directly facing the both of you, tiny eyes closed as he drooled and was probably dreaming about race cars and his dads shark shaped pb & j sandwiches.
âthe little runt is fineââ he shoved his face back in and gnawed at your neck again as you gasped.
ânooo!â you whined and giggled softly. ânow iâm scared heâs gonna wake upâŚâ
he huffed and officially pulled away this time, red eyes dilated and half lidded as he looked over your pinky cheeks and shy face, the purple and blue mark he made on your neck making the right side of his lips curve up into a little prideful smirk, you too distracted to notice over the way he clutched and loosened up the hold on your waist repeatedly.
katsuki kept you on his lap and scooched himself down, laying on his back and head on the pillow as he nudged you to lay on him completely over his chest and body, you more than happy to do so as you settled your head on his pecs and got comfortable with his strong arms around youâ feeling so safe and looked after.
and you hadnât expected to sleep over⌠but you just didnât wanna leave, and katsuki sure as hell didnât want you to either as you softly and quietly talked over the small tinkling of the lullaby and miloâs soft breathing, shadowy stars still slowly shifting around you as you easily switched between various topicsâ ranging from serious to silly as you ran a loving hand over his chest and his on your back, the both of you subconsciously lulling each other to sleep until you were just as passed out on the floor as milo.
since then, katsuki didnât wanna let you out of his sight.
as if he wasnât already involved enough with miloâs school activities because of you, this man became a fucking member of the pta and volunteered himself for every single event so as long as you were there, helping you out especially with fundraisers and bake sales as his desserts always sold out quicker than anything else and made bank as he snickered and boasted at the other parents that werenât selling as much, you giving him a silly glare that never failed to shut him right up as he wanted to be good for you and not upset you.
the front desk lady even went from hating him to loving him, katsuki grumbling and chucking her a bag of leftover fundraiser chocolate chip cookies on her desk as he passed by to drop off milo in the mornings, serving as a ticket way in and to get her to shut up now instead of yelling at him from down the hall.
and he continued to give you yummy star shaped fruits.
except now some days they looked like hearts or little flowers, and he always made his fruit assortments different so you wouldnât get tired of them and added different dippings like caramel or chocolate hazelnut, you gushing and nearly bawling literally everyday whenever youâd open the container and milo giggling at you during lunch.
you also never went a day without stopping by or staying over at katsukiâs house since your first initial date, your days so much fun and filled with love as you ate lunch or dinner with the two of them, laughing at miloâs sporadic comments or katsukiâs barking and scolding while you either played with milo, helped katsuki clean up the house and him the kitchen or you the kitchen and vice versa, or simply cuddle on the couch with kisses shared amongst you and katsukiâ the three of you with milo seated peacefully and comfortable in the middle while you watched a movie or lulled the little man to sleep.
and katsuki had never felt so complete as he started leaving messes behind without even realizing or stressing about it, and he didnât know when the fuck it was that he turned so soft and sappyâ the change a bit strange to those who knew him as he was just a teeny weeny less explosive and angry over small things, and more so when it came to you and his son.
âmake sure you keep your little bucket hat on honey, okay? itâs hot today and i donât want you to tire yourself out milo.â
the end of the year field trip for the kindergarteners this year was a voyage to the local wildlife sanctuary, a gorgeous exhibit that sat right next to the national science museum in your city, its main attraction being the 25 foot koi pond and butterfly wonderland that housed various butterfly species and their little habitatsâ the kids field trip assignment being to count how many they see throughout the day and pick one koi fish and butterfly to draw on their journals.
katsuki, of course, volunteered as a chaperone.
âsingle file line please my loves!â you called, hand by your mouth. âand donât seperate from your friends okay?! everyone stay where i can seeââ
âoi!â katsuki barked, snapping and pointing at a rogue kid who decided to break free from the line and run across the grass. âthe fuck do you think youâre doing!ââ
âkats!â you breathed out a shocked laugh. âyouâre gonna get me fired if you talk to the kids like thatââ
âshit! sorryâ iâm sorry baby hold onââ
katsuki booked it across the grassy lawn and caught up with the running kid on the other side, the rest of your class giggling and cackling as katsuki swooped him up with one arm and dangled him upside down while he kicked and swung tiny punches to his abs, katsuki not even flinching.
âdo that again and see what happens brat.â he spat, the little kid not having a single care in the world as he giggled with the rest of the class, all of them deviously planning to piss katsuki off as much as possible since his outbursts were just funny.
âokay okayââ you smiled apologetically at him before taking the dangling boy from his arm and setting him back down, fixing over his clothes and backpack before patting his head and standing upright.
âno more running alright?â you placed your hands on your hips. âdonât we wanna see some cute little fishies and butterflies?!â
âyeeeeaaaahhhh!!â the babies cheered excitedly, each of them immediately returning to their designated spots in two lines as you grabbed your line leaders tiny hands and started the walk down the grassy field to the sanctuary.
âlemme help ya with one line babyââ katsuki went to grab one of your line leaders hands until they burst into a crying fit.
âno! no! i wanna hold miss y/nâs hand!â
katsukiâs eyes narrowed. âwhatâs so bad about me hah?â
âyouâre ugly! miss y/n is pretty!â
the rest of the kids ruptured, laughing as katsuki sent death glares to a literal child, about to spout something nasty until his eyes flickered to your pleading face, his muscles instantly relaxing as he casted his gaze to the ground with a grumble.
you giggled and gave him a sweet kiss to his cheek in gratitude, his face flushing as he eyed your deep blue overalls and pinky shirt and the way your sunglasses sat pretty in your hair on top of your head.
âwhat honey?â you tilted your head.
ânone of your business.â
you snickered and nudged your shoulder with his, looking over at milo from somewhere in the line to make sure he was okay before walking up the front gates of the sanctuary.
the wildlife guide met you once you all were cleared and inside the greenhouse, your kids absolutely restless as they âlistenedâ to whatever the guide had to say and just wanting to break free and run around to look at all of the fishies and butterflies like you had promised, and you not even listening either as you drooled over the way katsukiâs muscles looked under his t-shirt.
âany questions sweetheart?â
âhuh?â your eyes snapped to the guide, cheeks pink as you quickly shook your head. âoh! no not at all! thank you maâam!â
âalrighty then! just please make sure to tell your studentsââ
suddenly your two perfect lines broke apart as the kids started running around and pointing at fluttering butterflies and screaming, the guide looking like sheâd seen a ghost as the usual quiet and serene sanctuary was now the epitome of noise.
âiâm sorry! iâm sorryââ you guiltily apologized. âmy kids will settle down theyâre just excited is allâŚâ
the guide kindly waved you off before walking back to the main office, you turning and expecting to see katsuki standing next to you, but faltering once you saw he was on the other side and pulling one of your kids down that had climbed up the gates of one of the sanctuaries closed off exhibits.
âoh god..â you mumbled, about to make your way over until you spotted milo in a corner alone, staring at one of the koi ponds.
âmilo?â you called softly, walking up to him.
your heart sank once he turned and you saw his little tear filled eyes and wobbling lip.
âoh no!â you gasped, crouching down and taking his tiny hands in yours. âwhatâs wrong my love? are you okay? is it too hot?â
you pushed some of his spiky blonde bangs back from his sweaty forehead as he shook his head.
âi canât draw!â he sniffled. âand the koi fishies keep movingâŚâ
your shoulders relaxed in relief.
âthatâs okay!â you took his journal and pencil, wiping his wet cheeks as you smiled sweetly. âas long as weâre patient with the fishies, theyâll swim back and you can draw them again!â
you opened his journal and flipped to a new blank page, the both of you waiting quietly until a big chubby koi fish swam by.
âthere!â milo whispered and pointed, and you quickly drew what you could, just making out the shape of the body before it disappeared again.
âand now we wait!â you grinned up at him. âthe fishy will come back around and youâll be able to draw it again.â
âkayyy!!â
âand you can draw milo. iâve seen your artwork in class, remember? you always get a gold star!â
he giggled. âi do miss pretty!â
you ran a soothing hand over his back before passing his journal back.
ânow you try honeyââ
âi love you.â
you froze and looked up, katsuki standing there with a sincere and vulnerable look in his eye.
you stood from your crouched position and looked at him wide eyed.
âiâm notâ iâm not good at this kinda shit at all and i always say somethinâ dumb but i do.â
âkatsââ
âand iâm sorry it took me so long to say it but i tried to make it obvious with my stupid shaped fruits nâ shit⌠and i always thought you kinda just knewâŚâ
milo was too busy focusing on catching glimpses of the koi fish to draw with his tongue peeking out to even realize what was going on next to him.
âyouâre so patient baby. the way you are with me⌠the way you are with my kid. i need that in my life and i canât live without it at this pointâŚâ he spoke genuinely. âyour fuckinâ fault.â
you giggled and covered your face with your hands, face hot to the touch and bashful at everything he was telling you.
âcome here.â
you listened and walked forward, dropping your arms as you wrapped them around his abdomen and his around your head, squishing you in his big chest as he propped his chin up.
âdo you love me too or what.â he frowned. âcause if not this is shitty and embarrassingââ
âno i do!â you giggled, pulling away and giving him a cheeky smile. âi do kats you know that⌠i love you. so much.â
he smiled and pecked your lips. âgood, miss pretty.â
katsuki had heard the entire conversation you had with his son, your words seeping with such tenderness and care, and he almost passed the fuck out when he thought about how much of a blessing you were, something heâd be a fool not to snatch up and take as he nearly fucking proposed to you in the middle of the sanctuary like an idiot, not knowing at all how a person that pissed people off for a living was loved by a woman who was the definition of pure.
because how the fuck did an angry dunce like him, get lucky with an angel like you?
âoh my god that dumbass kid is climbinâ the fence againâ oi!â
katsuki quickly kissed your cheek before flying to the other side of the sanctuary, you doubling over in laughter as you watched him fight and tug and pull, your student not budging at all whatsoever and the rest of the kids laughing at how red katsuki was getting in the face.
âmiss pretty!â milo tugged at your overalls, and you looked down to see him holding up his open journal, a cute wobbly sketch of a koi fish on the page as he smiled big. âi drew it! do you like it?!â
âwow milo!â you gushed, crouching down to his level and taking the journal, examining his artwork. âthis is beautiful my love! see? i knew you could do it!â
âthank youuu!â he responded sweetly, his little cheeks blushing as he looked at you like he had another thing he wanted to say.
you tilted your head. âdo you wanna tell me something else?â
âyeaaahhh.â he dragged. âplease love my dad⌠i know heâs mean butâ but he doesnât mean it!â
your eyes softened as milo looked down at his shoes.
âand love me too⌠because i want you to be my new mommyâŚâ
you quickly blinked back tears as to not alarm milo, surprisingly successful at preventing them from slipping down your face.
âi do love your dad honey⌠and you. the both of you i love so so much.â
he beamed. âreally?!â
you nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. âand i thought i was already your mommy milo!â
the little man gasped and flung his arms around your neck.
âYAAAYYY!â he yelled. âmiss pretty is my mommy! i have a mommy now!â
ever since you came into katsukiâs life, his way of living materialized into something completely different.
because now instead of his house being plain and boring and organized from top to bottom without a single thing out of placeâ it was warm now⌠happy. and never went a day without smelling like cookies and vanilla as you and katsuki baked with milo any chance you could, set up more pillow forts and tents with starry ceilings, and slept with milo in his room as he snored content in his little bed, you sprawled directly on top of katsuki like he always had you as you both every day intended to leave after putting his son to rest, but ending up falling asleep on the floor each time.
the three of you were a little family.
and katsuki didnât know why he hated messes so much in the first place.
because mess signified that something had been there, something sunny and tender, something that signified family as you peppered kisses over both your boysâ faces everyday and katsuki drowning you in his rough onesâ your man squeezing you so tight all of the time and anywhere, as milo wasnât just his son now but yours too as you took him to the park or to the aquarium on your days off, the three of you gently living as both of miloâs small hands were occupied now instead of just one.
katsukiâs life looked like it had been generously cherished and lived in for a change.
and katsuki bakugo loved messes.
so as long as they were from you.
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
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#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#boku no academia#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki x you#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha#mha#mha x reader#bnha x reader#izuku midoriya#mha izuku#bnha izuku#izuku x reader#izuku x y/n#katsuki x y/n#katsuki bakugo fluff#mha fluff#bnha fluff#kirishima x reader#kirishima eijirou#mha kirishima#bnha eijiro kirishima#shoto todoroki#mha shoto#shoto x reader
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Actually no I am so pressed like it is actually absurd the number of times I have had to say âwell English is my first languageâ while up here these past few years. to a point itâs like kind of insulting like people seem to ignore all of my background and greater details about myself and focus in on half of my ethnicity.
#mylife#Kind of a continuation of earlier#Honestly it may be in part bc I look more Hispanic now?#Like my hair is darker than when I was younger and I have curly hair now (ty immunosuppressants đ¤Š)#Like my sister has always had a bit darker features and she had to tell one of her teachers in hs that English was her first language đ¤ˇââď¸#I think another reason may be the way I talk? I used to use far more formal vocabulary#So maybe now that verbiage is different I come across as âuneducatedâ (which is so stupid and problematic)#But honestly I think geography is the biggest thing back home I was white and here Iâm ânotâ#One of my friends was soooooo shocked that my dad was white like heâs âso whiteâ in comparison to like me and my mom and itâs like idk#Not me being pressed about something from like 12 hours ago đ#But itâs like why is it I have spent almost all my life so normal and I come here and within the last 3 years Iâve had to#Literally point out that English is my first language bc of like stereotypical/insulting assumptions multiple times#Like I hate that itâs my friends that have done it. Like yes old white men at the hospital on 3 occasions have clocked me as not white#Which is whatever but like the whole âthereâs gotta be something mixed in with youâ from elderly sick pol doesnât feel nearly as bad as-#-my peers and friends with their directness and implications
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Listening to stories of people who survived situations like being trapped in collapsed buildings and it kinda sounds like the human response to being trapped in a bad situation is to just keep going back to sleep until death comes. Thinking about depressive avoidant sleeping. Brain doesn't know you aren't trapped under rubble it can't see out of his bone prison brain just knows everything is bad and everything hurts and we can't handle this stress we need to divert all power to life support, night night.
#is that a horrible comparison to make? yeah probably in poor taste given the state of things#do I earnestly believe I am in as traumatic a situation as that? I think my brain is reacting the same way yeah. genuinely.#I think my brain has been in survial mode or death incoming mode for like. since middle school#I think I hit puberty and my brain decided we are dying slowly and painfully and has been reacting accordingly.#I think this year it got much worse tho I think this is when I hit the critical level because this is when I have been sleeping more#I hate that house and my roommates so much that I just sleep whenever I'm there. i don't eat much at home#I try not to drink much so that i don't have to use the bathroom as much and that also minimizes my kitchen trips.... I collect 2 litres of#water each morning. one for me one for my cat. his fountain stays full and I ration my water for myself and on the 4 nights a week I work#I will refill it at work. I am mostly trying to be unseen unheard in that house. Of course the dogs always hear me which is why I am so#careful. I only pass through that house twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. Coming and going.#on my days off that means only 2 bathroom trips per 24 hours but you know fucking what I still get bitten by a dog every time.#and wish I had just pissed in a bottle or something because they are jumping on me they are biting me there are tears in my eyes I am biting#my tongue because if I shout or tell them to stop their owner comes and yells at them. And they don't give a shit about being yelled at!!#but me??? Bleeding and anxious and trying not to piss myself?? I don't handle being yelled at well!! even if it isn't directed at me!!#I have RSD!! I used to cry in school when a teacher was chewing out SOMEONE ELSE !! and being SHOUTED genuinely at????#i am not coping well!! i do not feel safe in this house!!! between the actually getting bitten and the yelling!!!#and the yelling is nonstop because these women have issues with each other. bro I'm so fucking glad my dad moved out when he started having#Marital Issues bcos I think I'd have like 85% more childhood trauma if I had to listen to them fighting like this as a kid#shit I'm getting adulthood trauma from these women fighting. oh my god. angie dump your girlfriend for christ sake#and sTOP MOTHERING ME. I MOVED HERE TO GET AWAY FROM MY MOM AND THIS WOMAN IS WORSE THAN MY MOTHER ABOUT THE FUCKING MOTHERING.#Stop telling me what to wear!! Stop telling me what to eat!! Stop asking if I'm seeing anyone!!#this is my own fault I put myself in this situation and I am trying to claw my way back out but it isn't as easy as it was to get in ;-;#I hate myself I hate the decisions I made that got me here
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cw: child abuse (psychological, grooming, ect)
also speaking of parental abuse there's also this text of how Millie wants to be Tyra's mother, but she doesn't want anything that makes Tyra unique.
She started loving Tyra the moment she saw her find some dinosaure when she was dying in the cold and starved after being separated from her parents, seeing that despite her situation, Tyra was so excited about finding a Tyranosaure she was forgetting how desperate her situation was and instead loved the dino right away.
Millie saw how excited Tyra was about it, and loved Tyra right away enough to decide to make her hers.
But Millie hates dinosaurs, she finds them disgusting, she uses them as tool and keeps insulting them, hates that Tyra sees them as her family.
she used the dinos as bait to get Tyra to pay attention to her, and she used a particularities of the dino to mind control Tyra
but even now as Tyra is being brainwashed, everytime she looks at the dinos, Millie just tells her "don't look at those disgusting things, just look at me, your momma"
and it's another level of control that rings way too true on parents who """"""love""""" their children, but not for who they are -- just for what it brings them.
yes Tyra is cute. But everything she likes, everything that makes her happy, is disgusting. So it needs to be removed from Tyra's life. Her love and her excitement has to carry over to Millie, not to the stuff she actually like.
it's something way too real and it's genuinely giving me the yikes it makes me unwell.
#ichablogging gbf#ichablogging tyraevent#sorry massive tmi in the tags#sorry it struck a cord bc it's something that's been on my mind for days with my own mom and i'm just. god.#my sis has a new boyfriend who happens to have 3 children - including two very cute twin girls who are adorable#i meet them for the holidays and we hit off right away. they're very cute and hyperactive and everything#and i kept encouraging them in that so they really imprinted on me hard that i legit couldn't get away from their cuddles aha#point is though that i was talking about it with my mom afterward#and she was all 'you know they remind me so much of you when you were a child. thats why i found it so shocking when you closed yourself in#and it hits me hard in the. who's. who's fault do you think it is.#because i saw how all of the adults around us were rolling their eyes at the girls#i saw how all of them were telling them to calm down or telling them straight up they were annoying and exhausting#i saw how when i tried to tell a cute story from my dad's home to the girls (about saving a hedgehog once)#my mom tried to derail the topic on how she's been done horribly dirty by my father -- directly to the girls#like. mom. they're 7. why the fuck are you cutting me when i tell them something they're interested about to tell them such a heavy thing.#and with xmas obligation and the fact i'm forced to be here but i'm mostly ignored most of the time and cut off#(s/o to the family member who said they didn't want to hear anything from me because i was 'neither interesting nor smart' a while ago)#also it reminds me of how my mom loves to brag about how passionate i am but always cut me off & belittle me bc she hates what i care about#it keeps reminding me of that. saying they love you but they don't care about anything about you. it's about what you bring them.#it hits fucking hard the timing is too tight i legit had a family thing yesterday which was the reason i could only read this event today#Granblue why would you do this to me
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redeemed | lando norris
summary: After a messy breakup, Landoâs fans blame his best friend for ruining his relationship. request: yes! sorry took me too long :(( tbh, this had been sitting in drafts for a while because i wasnât entirely convinced about it (still not 100%, to be fair), but i thought, âWell, maybe theyâll like it,â so here it issss
landonorris
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landonorris: Another race weekend!
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user1: I want to be Y/N so baaaad𤧠landoâsgf: love you so muchhhh!!!â¤ď¸ user2: Y/N made it again in Landoâs post, love them! user3: Iâd love a friendship like Lando and Y/Nâs đđđ
yourusername: Great weekend, miss you alredy muppet đ¤§â¤ď¸
landonorris: It was! When are you coming to visit again?
user4: Lando replied to Y/N but not his gfâŚđđ user5: THE fit, THE smile, THE overtakes đ user6: She really needs to back off from Lando and Alice user7: Photo 3 >>> everything else đŤ
landoâsgf posted a story.
yourusername
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yourusername: About last month đ
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carlossainz55: Feeling special for being in your post đ¤§
yourusername: You should, cos it wonât happen again đ
user8: Landoâs smile in the 3rd photo? how do I sign up for your life? đ user9: She canât post without Lando or some driver in it đ¤Ž
user10: True that, sheâs all about the fame
user11: living my dream life AND looking flawless while doing it?â¤ď¸đ user12: always getting in the way of Lando and Alice, proper messing with them đ
user13: what are you on about? Lando and Y/N have been friends for yearsss đ¤Ą
user14: well, why didnât anyone know about her till now? she just wants Lando for the fame, no doubt
landonorris posted a story
landoâs gf posted a story.
landoâs gf
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landoâs gf: â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
landonorris
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landonorris: Free time when Iâm not driving a F1 car around the world
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user15: Landoâ HAHAHA
user16: whereâs Alice???
user17: y'all are obsessed with his gf, mind your own business ffs
user18: Bet Y/Nâs asking Lando not to take Alice đ
user19: giiiirl, touch some grass! Alice has been back in her country
user20: Y/Nâs always with Lando, so heâs footing the bill for everything
user21: Everything, mateâGP trips, holidays, and I wouldnât be surprised if sheâs got him paying her rent too đ¤Ž
user22: I wouldnât want to be Alice, seeing Y/N everywhere around Lando đ
landonorris just posted a story.
yourusername posted a story
yourusername
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yourusername: [No caption]
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user23: an unexpected crossover user24: Oh, so the gold-diggerâs moved on to someone else now? user25: Hope youâre proud of yourself for ruining Lando and Aliceâs relationship, biTCH user26: Hope you die
carlossainz55: should I feel proud because you went to a Real Madrid match or bad for "L" because you went out with someone from that team???
carlossainz55: nah, estoy orgulloso
user27: stay away from Lando, you slut
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landoâsex-girlfriend
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landoâsex-girlfriend: A little miracle is on the way, and we couldnât be more excited. đź
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user28: Nearly had a heart attack, thought Lando was going to be a dad đđđ user29: No way, she was the one who cheated đ user30: đ
landonorris
Liked by charles_leclerc and 1,928,388 others
landonorris: Â I lost the best thing in my life because of all of you.
Because of your words, your hate, your accusations. You turned her into the villain when all she ever was, was my best friend.
You all tore us apart, pushed me to let go of the one person who truly mattered, all because you couldnât mind your own business.
And now, seven months later, I see the truthâshe was never the problem. I was. I shouldâve fought for her. But instead, I let you win.
Iâll never forgive myself for that. I lost her because of you.
âLando
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user31: lando, you did what you thought was best at the time. Weâre all human, and nobody should have been attacking her like that
user32: we judged her without knowing the full story đ¤§
user33: canât believe we believed the lies
user 34: I feel so bad now
danielricciardo: Lando, Iâve got your back. Itâs crazy how people act like they know your life when they donât đ¤
user35: Itâs hard to see things clearly when the pressure is on you. Glad youâre speaking out now, nobody deserves that kind of hate, especially someone as good
user36: Itâs obvious she meant a lot to you but the media and fans never understood that
user37: We were too quick to judge her
maxverstappen1: People love to talk without knowing the full story. Stay strong, mate, always here if you need to talk đ¤đ¤
time skip
landonorris
Liked by yourusername and 2,951,052 others
landonorris: I donât think thereâs anyone who deserves this more than her. From being the absolute boss she is in everything she touches to owning this yearâs CEO of the Year award (seriously, sheâs amazing), I couldnât be prouder I of course Iâm the best wag
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user38: YOUR WIFE?!?!? đą i canât even process it. Lando, whatâs happening?!
user39: wait, I thought you were single?? How did we miss this??
user40: no⌠I THOUGHT THE WERE FRIENDSS????
user41: wait a damn minuteâLandoâs married??!! And sheâs holding CEO of the year??? I need answers đ
user42: OH MY GODDD Sheâs literally living the dream!! And Lando, we all knew you were the best, but now youâve just confirmed it
user43: HEâS MARRIED?!? And sheâs CEO OF THE YEAR?!?! You guys are literally goals
user44: iâm happy for you but also Iâm crying in my room so⌠mixed emotions đŤ đ§Ą
user45: Y/N is literally TOO perfect and itâs offensive to the rest of us đđđ
user46: No hate, but also⌠Iâm fighting for my life over here while Y/N is living my dream đ
user47: @/yourusername you wake up every day and think, âhow can I flex on everyone today?â Because wow đ
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