#I hate being this mad like outwardly and stuff but like
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iwanttobepersephone Ā· 7 months ago
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Rant about Harry Potter and JK Rowling, stick with me here
Ok, so, I hate JK Rowling. I feel like that's a given, right? Like, she's a transphobic homophobic bigot who hides behind feminism and routinely denies massive parts of the holocaust, and I despise her in ways that I don't think words can even express. I can't stand her, but y'know what I also can't stand?
When someone implies that my mother, who is one of the most supportive people I know, and a massive part of the founding, organization, and actions of a local group made specifically to fight Moms for Liberty and school boards in our area trying to harm trans and queer people, is transphobic because she likes Harry Potter
Wanna know why my mom likes Harry Potter? Because when she discovered the series at 12 years old, she quite literally lived in a cupboard under the stairs and was in an abusive household. The magic of the wizarding world or whatever was her escape, it's the reason she's still alive, and by extension, the reason I was ever alive.
But, sometimes, not even often, when I try to express even the most minimal amount of appreciation of that, someone says to me "but isn't JK Rowling transphobic? Why would you support someone like that? Are you transphobic?"
Which pisses me off beyond belief, as one might imagine
In this situation, "separate the art from the artist" isn't exactly a good phrase to use, given the fact that the goblins or whatever run the bank are Jewish stereotypes and the house elves generally being happy to work under their masters being a straight rip from the whole happy slave myth, and those are very very important things to recognize and understand, among others
I feel like it's a lot closer to "separate the hundreds if not thousands of lives she's helped from the hundreds if not thousands of lives she's ruined", or even better, understand that the good she's indirectly done for people makes all the bad that much more horrid
My mother is the closest thing to a hero in this entire world and I will not stand to hear one more person accuse her of being transphobic purely because she thinks fondly of a book series that saved her life. I will not stand for people saying she's just as bad as a holocaust denier because she owns every book in the series. I will not stand for anyone going entirely against their point of not judging a group as if it's monolithic by saying all Harry Potter fans are bad people, including my mother. And, once again, it's not often at all that this happens, but it happens and I'm pissed about it and needed to rant
Anyways rant over JK Rowling sucks don't believe a single thing she says and don't support her unless you wanna support someone actively trying to make the existence of queer people illegal
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linos-luna Ā· 1 year ago
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Bts Yandere Profiles šŸ”Ŗ
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Yandere!Bts x Reader
Warnings: Yandere!, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, gaslighting, manipulation
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€” šŸ”Ŗ ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
Namjoon
Manipulative and possessive
He tricked you into this. In fact, he gaslights you all the time! You live at his house now because he convinced you to do so. He didnā€™t kidnap you. Youā€™re here on your own volitionā€¦ right?
ā€¢ He says your family is abusive and not to see them. So you believe him
ā€¢ brings up your confidence but then suddenly takes it away
ā€¢ you donā€™t need a job because heā€™ll take care of you!
ā€¢ He wants you to be dependent on him.
ā€¢ hates when other people look at you.
ā€œBabygirl, your parents are so mean to you. Why do you put up with that?ā€
ā€œIā€™ll take care of you, donā€™t worry about stressing at some job!ā€
ā€œWho was that talking to you?? Donā€™t lie!ā€
ā€œYour friends talk behind your back. Iā€™ve seen it!ā€
ā€œIā€™m the only one that loves you!ā€
Jin
Unhinged but loving
Jin is a loving yandere but canā€™t help being unhinged. Heā€™ll have random outbursts and threaten suicide if you try and leave. Of courseā€¦ heā€™d never actually do itā€¦
ā€¢ heā€™s calm when heā€™s suddenly not
ā€¢ all of the sudden he yells at you then takes it back, then takes the apology back and yells again.
ā€¢ doesnā€™t hurt you physically but always puts you on edge.
ā€¢ doesnā€™t hide his stalking tendencies.
ā€¢ in fact, heā€™ll come straight out of hiding and make himself known. Itā€™s embarrassing for you. But he doesnā€™t care.
ā€œOk wait! I didnā€™t mean it!ā€
ā€œDonā€™t leave me! Or Iā€™ll kill myself!ā€
ā€œForgive me!ā€
ā€œJagiya!! Where are you?!ā€
Yoongi
Strict but sometimes sweet
Yoongi hates that you make him weak in the knees. Heā€™s not sure why he has such a soft spot for you, but he does. He feels the need to shield you from everything.
ā€¢ comes off as cold
ā€¢ keeps you inside all day. Sometimes takes you out at night
ā€¢ very strict. Donā€™t talk back to him!
ā€¢ kinda scary when mad
ā€¢ but heā€™s also really sweet. Brings you gifts all the time.
ā€¢ not much of a cuddly guy but will sometimes allow it. He knows girls like that kinda stuffā€¦
ā€¢ you want to love him and he canā€™t seem to resist youā€¦
ā€œWhatā€™d you just say to me?!ā€
ā€œBetter watch your mouth, kitten!ā€
ā€œDo you like roses? I brought you some.ā€
ā€œCome here, baby. Next to me.ā€
Hoseok
Bipolar emotions
One moment heā€™s happy and loving then suddenly cold. Being with him was like walking on eggshells. Half the time you didnā€™t even know what set him off. But then he smothers you with love. It made you feel bad
ā€¢ he wants you to have fun and do what you want but also.. doesnā€™t?
ā€¢ paranoid that youā€™re cheating
ā€¢ constantly accuses you then immediately apologizes
ā€¢ heā€™s a little suffocating
ā€¢ constantly clinging to you
ā€¢ will threaten you at random then act like nothing happened
ā€œCheater!!ā€
ā€œNo sorry! I donā€™t think that!ā€
ā€œNo itā€™s okay, go have funā€¦ā€
ā€œI bought a cake! For what? Our 3 month anniversary!ā€
Jimin
Psychotic
Jimin is a psychotic yandere. He loves you deeply and will do anything to have you and ā€œkeep you safeā€ā€¦ Anything
ā€¢ very outwardly expresses his love for you
ā€¢ threatens people around you
ā€¢ has probably killed someoneā€¦ who knows šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø
ā€¢ has a hard time controlling his emotions, whether mad or happy.
ā€¢ sometimes he laughs when mad, thatā€™s when you know you messed up
ā€¢ donā€™t make him angry. He WILL get violent
ā€¢ heā€™s stronger than he looksā€¦
ā€œjagiya, stop hiding from me! Donā€™t make me mad!ā€
ā€œDonā€™t be scared, baby. Iā€™m sorry.ā€ *pouts*
Taehyung
Hopeless romantic but also delusional
Taehyung wants the relationship to be something out of a kdrama or romance novel. Everything must be perfect! He loves you even it heā€™s yelling at you for not doing something right.
ā€¢ relationship means hugs and kisses. So he gives and expects them daily
ā€¢ when out, you must ALWAYS hold his hand.
ā€¢ when out, Taehyung will make sure to dress you so that the both of you match
ā€¢ call him cute names like: Tae, Baby, Love
ā€¢ donā€™t call him Taehyung
ā€¢ Heā€™ll call you Baby, darling, love, sweetheart, etc
ā€¢ if you donā€™t do these things heā€™ll be not mad but frustrated.
ā€¢ he will throw a fit..
ā€œThatā€™s not how itā€™s supposed to be!ā€
ā€œSweetheart, look at the new outfits I got for us!ā€
ā€œNo no no!! Itā€™s all wrong!!ā€
ā€œWhy arenā€™t you holding my hand?? Are you mad?!ā€
Jungkook
Loving butā€¦ obsessive
When you started dating him, everything was great. He spoils you. He texts you every day and is always there when you need him butā€¦ heā€™s also a little weird.
ā€¢ love bombs you.
ā€¢ texts you everyday all day. And if you donā€™t respond right away he freaks out
ā€¢ stalks you although you didnā€™t notice at first
ā€¢ constantly thinks someone is gonna hurt you.
ā€¢ heā€™s a strong guy, he might hurt you. But not intentionally!
ā€œIā€™m sorry! Sorry! I didnā€™t mean it!ā€
*on the phoneā€¢ ā€œBaby, where are you?? You havenā€™t answered my texts!ā€
ā€œBaby I brought you some gifts!ā€ šŸ˜
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harukamitsuki Ā· 6 months ago
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Okay... I am currently back on my Voltron bullshit and continuing my rewrite of Voltron. And I'm constantly reminding of HOW MUCH I HATE LANCE.
Don't get me wrong. I am still treating Lance fairly in my fic, making sure he gets screen-time and a proper character acr and stuff.
But by GODS. This man pisses me off so much and that's only made worse by his stans. I was scrolling through Keith's tag here on tumblr. I also have Kl@nce filtered out. I cannot see a single post without at least three pages of scrolling and then it's only ONE POST. AND IT'S STILL KLANCE BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN TAGGED CORRECTLY.
Anyway. Onto the actual things I hate about Lance and not just his fandom.
Lance is a fucking asshole. I mean that on the deepest level. Let's go through it chronologically because I cannot rank it from least to most assholery, because some things are on the same level.
1 - Allura wakes up from the cryopod and Lances catches her. She's confused and dazed and the first thing you should do is ask if she's alright. Oh, but Lance is above that. Instead, he flirts with her. Karma given immediately as she calls his ears hideous and puts him in a submission hold, which is why I kept that scene in my fic, but that was still wrong. I know it was played for comedic effect, but that doesn't make it not canon. It's canonically accurate that if you've awoken from a coma, Lance's first instinct is to flirt with you if you're pretty.
2 - Literally throws Hunk into the middle of a battle. I get that Hunk was supposed to leave the Lion anyway, but just shoving him out when there are lasers everywhere and Hunk has no protection? Yeah. So much for 'best friend'. Add on the fact that Lance never really treats Hunk like a friend. At all.
3 - Okay. Season 1 Lance isn't bad outside of those two examples, even if he has his dumb moments, so let's jump to Season 2. Starting shit with Keith for no reason. People can go 'oh, Keith obviously did something to him at the Garrison' but he DIDN'T. The writers themselves confirmed that Keith did nothing to Lance, he just started shit with Keith all the fucking time. Like accussing Keith of wanting Blue and cutting him off when he tried to explain what was actually happening, even though Lance is the one who was outraged initially that Keith had Red. Or how about Lance getting up in Shiro's face and screaming his head off about how Keith would rather kill people than listen to them, as if he knew Keith at all after bullying him the entire time.
4 - Okay. This one pissed me off the most and is the biggest reason I'm making this post. The fact that Lance used Shiro's death/disappearance against Keith. Keith outwardly expresses his lack of desire to become the leader and accidentally let it slip that Shiro wanted him to do it. To which Lance is all 'convenient that you say that when Shiro's gone'. What. What the fuck. Stans really say that Lance is precious but how the hell are you justifying that? A blind man could see how much Keith loves Shiro, and Lance has the fucking gall the say that Keith is USING his death/disappearance for a position he doesn't want? He didn't even apologise for it. He just told Keith to suck it up later on. This is one of the reasons I hated Lance as the Red Paladin, the others being explained in an earlier post of mine.
5 - Oh, yeah. We're not done. Because after Keith, it's Allura. Allur@nce is probably the worst ship that could have happened, apart from Kl@nce. If you wanted a straight ship, how about what was canon for the past Voltron series? Kallura? Anyway. Yeah, Lance treats Allura like a prize instead of a person. He's posessive in a way that he has no right to be because they were not together. He glares at Matt for flirting with Allura, something he only does once. He gets mad at Lotor and tries to stop them from spending time together, EVEN THOUGH LOTOR IS HELPING ALLURA AND BONDING THROUGH ALTEAN THINGS. HELPING HER KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ALTEAN CULTURE. In Season 8, he literally yells that it should be Lance and Allura?? What a fucking weirdo?? You can't claim that you're destined to be with someone without being together. That's not how healthy relationships work. That's how a stalker's mind works. Lance is constantly flirting with Allura throughout all of Voltron and she never once reciprocated until Season 8 where it's so obvious that Lance is just a rebound but the writers wanna make it so that it's 'true love' and they want Lance to be happier than anyone so they just gift her to him like some sort of trophy. Lance didn't care about loving Allura, he cared about winning her. At least Lotor actually cared for and respected her. I still don't like canon Lotor, but that's mostly because the writers didn't want to deal with gray morality. Cowards.
1 - Honestly the worst example of a leader. It's shown from episode one. Now, there is the argument of learning to become one, but Lance just never learns? He's never facing the consequences of his actions and, if he is lectured, he ignores it. Keith actually takes lessons to heart and tries to improve and he does. If Lance became the Black Paladin, the universe would have been doomed because he can't get over himself for a single moment to even bother listening to anyone else's advice.
So. Yeah. Those are the main reasons why Lance is an asshole. Now to make the Lance stans really pissed.
Reasons why Lance would have been a terrible leader and could never have been the Black Paladin.
Remember episode one? Remember how the hydraulic stabiliser was out in the simulator and Lance still tried to push on, even though Pidge and Hunk advised him not to? Totally great leadership qualities there. There's nothing better than a leader that refuses to listen to you. 'Oh, but Keith is stubborn and didn't listen--' yes he did. He's stubborn and unrelenting at first, but he eventually realises that they're right.
Remember episode three? Remember when Lance bragged about kicking, which made Voltron fall, then proceeded to try it again and failed again even when Keith advised him not to? Yeah. Lance does not make good decisions and does not listen to any advise. Even from the leader's right hand man.
Remember Season 1 Episode 12? Remember how they were waiting for Shiro and Allura to get back and then Keith saw someone taking quintessence so he decided to follow them? Remember how Lance said no and was ignored but did nothing more to stop Keith? He has no authority and no charisma to keep anyone at bay. Pidge herself mocks Lance for being the pinnacle for leadership. Sarcastically. Because he's far from it.
Pidge doesn't respect Lance as a leader, Keith never would considering Lance treats him like shit, Allura can't take Lance seriously with him hitting on her every ten seconds, and Hunk is always questioning Lance's decisions. If nobody respects you, you cannot be a good leader.
2 - Easily distracted. Yes, it's a very popular headcanon that Lance has ADHD, and I agree with that, but that doesn't make it okay. And he's distracted in the easiest ways. Just shove a pretty girl and he'll instantly get distracted and lead the entire team to doom. Remember Nyma and how easy it was for her to steal the Blue Lion? How he didn't even warn anyone that he was taking her out for a ride because he didn't want anyone contesting his conquest? Yeah.
Don't get me wrong. It's fine to have ADHD or get distracted easily. Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece is a great example of a leader who gets easily distracted, but the second he sets his mind on something, he blocks everything out. Lance just doesn't have the capability to do that, nor do I think he'd be able to learn how to.
3 - Gets jealous really easily. As in. Really fucking easily. He's jealous of Keith from the get-go, starting a one-sided rivalry that he's constantly on the losing side of because Keith doesn't care. He gets jealous of Matt when he flirts a bit with Allura. He gets extremely jealous of Lotor for having actual chemistry with Allura. He's constantly jealous and a good leader is only ever in competition with himself. A good leader will only strive to become better for the sake of the team, not to say that they're better than someone else, much less if they're someone that you are in charge of. It's a horrible trait to have.
Jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing. It's when that jealousy overrides your logic and controls you, instead of you controlling your jealousy: which Lance struggles with a lot. And getting jealous over anyone who even looks at your crush is a very bad thing to do because you do not own your crush. It's okay to be jealous, but not posessively like Lance is. Not to the extent of trying to scare off any potential suitors.
4 - Nowhere near as skilled as Keith or Shiro. Sure, the writers may claim that he is better, but the proof is in the pudding. Keith and Shiro are fucking unmatched. I've defended Lance's skills in a previous post, but I also said in that post that, while he is skilled, he is nowhere near Shiro or Keith's level. I mean, Shiro was the golden child of the Garrison and set so many records. He was known as the best pilot. Keith beat those records and his flying capabilities are always, always noted. I haven't heard a single character comment on Lance's skills, other than to point out how bad they are. Keith was the only one who could have flew through the astroid field, he was the only one who could fly into the Marmora base which was in a blue star surrounded by two black holes, he was able to fly a Galra jet just by pushing the right buttons and knowing what the do, and he's the one who unlocks the warping abilities of the Black Lion. Shiro was able to connect with the Black Lion far before anyone else, able to see through Black and connect with Black to the point of his soul being saved by her.
Lance hasn't done anything spectacular. And, no. He was not 'done dirty'. He was given almost everything he wanted except the Black Lion. The writers claim he's the best pilot, but have not shown it at all. In my eyes, Keith and Shiro will always be the best.
5 - Selfish. Again. Nothing against being selfish. It's perfectly fine to be selfish, so long as it doesn't actively harm others. But for a leader? You should be as selfless as you can be. The team comes before you. And that's exactly what Lance isn't.
Lance is selfish and that's okay, but it's not leadership material. The whole reason Black rejected him is because he wanted the position out of selfish reasons. When he enters Black, he says 'Come on, Lance. You can do this'. In other words, he wants to pilot her because he wants to prove himself. He wants the acknowledgement. He wants the title of the Black Paladin and leader. Black accepted Keith, both at the start of Season 2 and Season 3, because he piloted her for purely selfless reasons. For Shiro.
Lance wants things for himself. Keith wanted things for Shiro. It was only after Shiro came back, (or so they thought), that Keith started focusing more on himself. Even then, he put everyone else before him. He distanced himself from the team so that Shiro could pilot Black again, and he was constantly risking his life for the Blades.
Lance just... isn't the type. He has put others before himself, but he expect things out of it. He expects a parade and acknowledgement. Nobody knew what Shiro went through to rid Zarkon of his connection to the Black Lion. Nobody knew what Shiro went through in his imprisonment because he doesn't want to burden anyone with that. Nobody knew what Keith went through to save Black and Shiro from Zarkon. Nobody knew what Keith went through when they were all mad at him for missing an attack. Lance doesn't withold that sort of stuff. The only thing he doesn't talk about is his insecurities, which he ends up spilling to the mice and Laika (the Yupper) anyway.
6 - Last one. Promise.
Nothing fucking happened. While Keith was gone, nothing of importance happened surrounding Voltron specifically. There was the Lion mind meld and Lotor joining, but all that served to prove was, with the mind meld, if Keith was there, he would have heard Shiro. And with Lotor joining, all it proved was how immature Lance was.
The second Keith gets back, things start happening again. Lotor gets outed as cruel and manipulative (still an ass-pull, by the way), Shiro gets outed as a clone, and so on. If Lance was leading, they all probably would have died ages ago. I'm talking Season 3 Episode 2, ages ago. Because Lance just isn't cut out for it.
So. Yeah. Those are the main reasons I hate Lance and why Black Paladin Lance is an awful idea. Screw the people who believe in it. It is awful.
Like I said, this won't affect my treatment of Lance in my rewrite, because I can fix those issues that come up. I don't have an issue with Season 1 Lance, it's later on that gets problematic. I just hate people building Lance up by bashing all the other characters, then claiming that Lance is the most traumatised, sad character when SHIRO AND KEITH ARE RIGHT THERE. NOT TO MENTION ALLURA, WHO LOST HER ENTIRE SPECIES, AND CORAN WHO LOST EVERYONE INCLUDING ALLURA AND NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER.
Fuck. I hate Voltron so much but I can't help but love it.
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rambling-idi0t Ā· 2 years ago
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Can you write some cute personal headcanons you have for the espadas excluding yammy and barragan
Of course i can! Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy!
Personal espada hcs (without yammy and barragan)
Starrk:
He talks in his sleep, the things he mainly talks about are lilynette, how tired he is and his loneliness. Lilynette sometimes teases his about this (except for when his rambling is sad)
He steals pillows and blankets from the world of the living. He just finds them so soft so he takes them
He enjoys hot cocoa, he tried it once in the human realm out of curiosity and loved it
Harribel:
She knows who to sew and teaches her fraccion how to as well. She once sewed a blanket for starrk who was extremely grateful
Shes cares a lot about the safety of her fraccion and would do anything to protect them and I mean anything
Shes nice to other fraccion as well, this has lead to her being extremely popular within the fraccion and most of them saying that if they weren't serving their current espada they'd go to her except for tesla who's scared nnoitra might kill him if he says that
Ulquiorra:
Despite his monotone appearance and personality he's actually really ticklish, grimmjow found this out after accidently poking him in the side and ulquiorra threatened him to keep quiet grimmjow told nnoitra and yammy
He actually doesn't enjoy aizens tea, its too strong for him but he pretends it doesn't bother him everyone knows
He's actually somewhat nice to wonderweiss, he'll let him follow him for around 15 minutes before getting annoyed and telling wonderweiss to go away
Nnoitra:
Actually doesn't treat tesla that bad, he cares for his fraccion but he won't ever tell him that or make it obvious
He once found a stray cat in the human realm and took it back to hueco mundo, it took 5 minutes for him to kill it out of annoyance it was supposed to annoy grimmjow but he couldn't find him and got bored of searching
Actually likes aizens tea, he wont ever admit it tho and if you even suggest that he does then he'll kill you
Grimmjow:
Treats his fraccion like brothers who annoy him, especially di roy who he treats exactly like an annoying little brother
Feels a little bad for the granz brothers hating each other, this is only because he thinks its making yylfordt weak
Goes to the human world just to chill, he actually kind of likes it there and ever since he discovered bars and wrestling it was hard to get him back to hueco mundo
Zommari:
The only espada who actually tries to talk to and befriend aaroniero, he's tried to get the 9th espada to mediate with him but it always ends in rejection, he wont stop trying tho
Went to the human world and had a custom made poster of aizen with the quote 'do it for lord aizen'
Is nice to szayelaporro's fraccion, he knows how the mad scientist treats them and he pities them
Szayelaporro:
Doesn't hate his brother as much as he says he does, he does it as to not look weak in front of others
Like ulquiorra he also doesn't like aizens tea but instead of pretending to like it he brings his own special ingredient to put in it nobody knows what it is
Gets along with gin well, the two tend to talk about random stuff it's mostly gin asking questions about arrancars and Szayelaporro jokes about how gin must be making some kind of arrancar encyclopedia
He has an outfit for every occasion
Aaroniero:
Has secretly always wanted a fraccion but is too scared to actually get one
He's scared of wonderweiss but at the same time he doesn't completely hate him, he'll let the odd arrancar hang around him for a bit
Actually enjoys espada meetings since its the only time this many arrancars are near him without being outwardly disgusted by him
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thotpuppy Ā· 1 year ago
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20 questions for fic writers!
this kind of stuff is super neat to read from others and share and talk about sooo thank u so much for the tag @sugareey-makes-stuff!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
On its face, 40, but 5 are co-creator tags because i illustrated them, 3 of them are art for the steter bang independently posted separate from their fics, 1 was gift art for the steter vday exchange, and 1 is a 60k+ roleplay that i only wrote like half of haha. so its actually 30-31
2. Whatā€™s your total AO3 word count?
365,587 but again, not all my words. Without the 8 fics mentioned up top, its at 250,197 total. the fic i co wrote is 69,599. Without any of that, my total is 180,598. if i only cut half out, its at 215,397 which is. still pretty good i guess???
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Published, I have fics for Voltron Legendary Defender, Teen Wolf, Danny Phantom, and Sk8 the Infinity. I pretty much only write for Teen Wolf right now. I have WIPs and ideas for DC, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, and of course Danny Phantom.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Grandma, What a Big Dick You Have! (the better to fuck you with my dear) (Sterek, WC 5,644, one shot, Rated E)
Churn My (Peanut) Butter (Steter, WC 3,074, one shot, Rated E)
A Collision of Interest is InevitableĀ  (This is that role-play) (PompousPep, WC 69,599, part 1 of ?, Rated M)
Why (not) Me? (Sterek, WC 6,496, one shot, Rated M)
Now HiringĀ (Sterek, WC 5,724, part 1 of WIP series that's currently 4 parts. Rated E)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do my very best to meet my commenters however they meet me. If they just drop some emojis, i drop some back. If they give me a long, thought out comment, I give them one back. Etc etc.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
This question and 7 are both hard because I pretty much exclusively write happy endings. A Snap, a Shudder, and a Home probably has the least upward lifting ending? It's not sad or angsty, but it speaks to unresolved tensions. The problem isn't over, even if they have a taste of peace. (Sterek, WC 1,669, one shot, Rated T)
7. Whatā€™s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
They all have happy endings! ARGH! The most outwardly enduringly positive fic I've written, however, is probably:
Daisies and Daffodils (You Make Me Smile) (Sterek, WC 3,864, one shot, Rated T) I was just in such a smiley, indulgent mood the entire time I wrote it, and it still makes me warm and smiley about it now.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not technically, though I have gotten two particularly unpleasant comments. One was on a Sterek fanfic trope challenge fic, for the prompt "Forced Proximity". Stiles and Derek get put into a '7 minutes of heaven' sort of situation by Lydia and one commenter was SO MAD that I didn't tag the fic as RAPE/NONCON ????? They also lectured me about being sexist and having double standards because it wouldn't be okay if Sterek were Women, which was just all sorts of yikes. (WC 2,912, Rated M, link here.) The other time I got a negative comment was actually on my most recently posted WIP Under My Skin, which is a Stackson fic. The hatefulness wasn't directed at the fic itself, but it WAS targeted at one of the main protagonists of the fic, as if implying I would be "punishing" said character for his "crimes" which were Being Human and Struggling. It made me super, SUPER uncomfortable and I ended up leaving the thread on read because I just got so unhappy every time I read the comment that I decided it wasn't worth even trying to explain myself. (WC 55,613, chapter 18/?, Rated E, noncon warning)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Haha.... normally I would say that's literally most of what I write, but I have a surprising number of lengthier non-smutty fics than I realized. I also legitimately have a Just Porn fic series, though, and I've written some pretty horny stuff in general. (Sterek+ others, WC 23,152, Rated E, parts 4/?)
10. Do you write crossovers? Whatā€™s the craziest one youā€™ve written?
I haven't, but I'm not opposed to doing one? I tend to prefer crossovers that are more, characters from X in setting from Y than, like, main characters interacting? But I have read a good few crossovers lately that have made me much more open TO writing a crossover in the future.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully not, yikes
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Naw, but I'd be open to it! I have blanket permissions for a lot of stuff right on my ao3 profile. (:
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yeah :,^)
14. Whatā€™s your all time favourite ship?
If you'd asked me this like 5 years ago I would have said Drarry. I HAVE answered this question with Drarry many times. I think, at this point in time, however, it is shifting. It very well may be Sterek. Drarry has absolutely shaped a huge amount of how I create, how I write, what i read, etc. though so it would be inappropriate to say it held no influence over me.
15. Whatā€™s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I think it's entirely possible i will never finish the TBHK Wondering Prince fic I started. It's somewhere between traditional fairy tale, medieval fantasy, and the witcher, with a good bit of TBHK's whimsical supernaturality.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I tend to do well with dialogue IMO, as well as general world building, both fantastical and mundane lol
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
plot. The actual beats of the story. I have wonderful, grand ideas on what a story should be! I even have thoughts on the conflicts, major stepping points, etc, but MAN do i get tripped up on the actual getting from point a to point b thematicall.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
*wiggly hand gesture* I think if it is a language you speak, and it is only occasional words or a line or two, it makes sense to use the other language, but in every spoken situation in visual media, you would get subtitles explaining what was being said if it went on longer than that. If the audience doesn't speak the language and they have to go to the end of the chapter/fic/etc to translate it, that can be enough for them to just gloss over and not even read it. Or, if you don't speak that language at all and you use google translate? you might have written something very different from your intent that people who DO speak it catch and get tripped up by. I think it's better to just, say that the character is speaking in another language and translate it in text for your readers.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
teeeeeeeeeechnically homestuck? for 'posted on ao3'?? But also, I've lowkey been writing fanfic adjacent works since i was like 6, but i don't rly wanna count that LOL
20. Favourite fic youā€™ve written?
This bitch is my baaaaaaaaby. Stackson, WC 55,613, Chapters 18/?. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48834448 Currently a WIP but with a deadline, so it WILL be finished! This is probably the fic that got me REALLY into writing fic on my own though. https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829636 It really brought me back to my love of writing and was the first finished work in a long ass time. I also think it's really funny and a great example of what I can do when I apply myself. (PompousPep, WC 4,545, 2 chapters, Rated M.)
Tagging: @geekmom13 @always-mimits @sinnabon-cosplay @okdeannawrites @whimsicalmeerkat @clotpolesonly @hedwig221b @wolfspurr @lavender-lotion @adrianfridge
(Blank under the readmore)
20 questions for fic writers!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2. Whatā€™s your total AO3 word count?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7. Whatā€™s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Do you write crossovers? Whatā€™s the craziest one youā€™ve written?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
14. Whatā€™s your all time favourite ship?
15. Whatā€™s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
16. What are your writing strengths?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
20. Favourite fic youā€™ve written?
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kyogre-blue Ā· 6 months ago
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Chapter 21-39 complete. Stopped on 39 instead of 40 because I ran out of space on that sheet of paper for notes lol
With this, the Drachma section is complete. There's lots of little deviations between manhwa and novel, but the overall results are the same.
I'm currently spinning Lee Geon around in the microwave in my head, trying to figure him out. There's definitely some subtle differences between the manhwa and the novel, plus his character is... hm
He's described as being filled with madness a couple times, which is interesting in terms of considering what would make him actually go villainous, since he does have strong moral core that never seems to waver much (since it doesn't seem to be based on any particular beliefs).
He genuinely likes causing chaos and combat. Masochist trait indeed.
There's also two instances close to each other where he tells people to do something and is then surprised when they... do that (telling Hugo to throw Sophie into a septic tank, telling the Gemini people not to bother with the teleporter). Is it related to how he doesn't seem to understand the fairly obvious limits everyone except him has, or is it just his personality being thisbitch.jpg?
Due to the narration, there's more detail on how he chooses to do or not do specific things because he's focused on testing his own limits after his abilities were changed with the whole new body thing. It's all quite calculated, given how unrestrained he acts outwardly. He's definitely not a mindlessly charging in type.
Although it shows with varying degrees of subtlety, he does give preferential treatment to Hugo while simultaneously being quite... dude friendship about it, I guess. He gets much rougher with Aquarius when she tries to threaten the kids, and even though he says he's more interested int the materials from the calamity than in Hugo, he does seem to show up immediately when Hugo might be in trouble. Plus, he's almost hilariously determined to meet Hugo's son even when Hugo lies and says he hates "Lee Geon."
Aside from that, there's definitely a mixed bag in terms of the worldbuilding.
Some parts are clarified, again. The stuff with Big Bone is a bit better explained. It's a bone that Lee Geon made from other bones and has no special properties. He used it to lure the Berlin Wolf into water, since that was its weakness, and because he said he used it to beat that calamity, everyone assumed it was a weapon which had a hidden skill, so this misunderstanding makes more sense. Additionally, the manhwa has a weird moment where Lee Geon is surprised that an item has his magical energy, but this is all fairly clear why in the novel. And the stuff with the calamities wanting his item is a bit more consistently presented, so it's less weird.
But at the same time, there's parts where the additional details in the novel just make things more confusing. Like the stuff with "Integrated Exchange" and Drachma. This location being a floating structure gets suddenly mentioned after like ten chapters of them being there. The place was previously described as having a bunch of cliffs...? In general, I'm not even clear which part is the Integrated Exchange and which part is Drachma.
For casual reading, it's not really an issue, but it's a bit annoying when trying to reconstruct the setting for like, fic purposes, haha
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thepunkmuppet Ā· 2 months ago
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weird thing Iā€™ve noticed recently.
when I think someone is mad / annoyed at me, or bored by something Iā€™m talking about or doing, especially over text, it feels like the end of the world. sure, I just personally have a lot of issues about being misunderstood / misinterpreted and perceived in general, but it feels just AWFUL.
but, if my friends ever do something mildly annoying, send me stuff I donā€™t care about, do a small thing that is a pet peeve of mine, have an opinion that I disagree withā€¦ itā€™s FINE. because I love them. me feeling temporarily annoyed at them because I happen to be in an irritable mood or whatever doesnā€™t actually impact how much I like them or how much they mean to me. I have those feelings privately, itā€™s okay to feel them and doesnā€™t make you horrible or mean that you hate them. and I listen to them talk abt the thing I donā€™t care about, or I outwardly ignore the small thing they did that pissed me off, and I move on.
just a thing to remember if you ever feel like youā€™re annoying your friends, I suppose. how do you feel when they slightly annoy you? do you still love them? likelihood is, youā€™re still loved in their eyes too
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divorcingjimmatthews Ā· 7 months ago
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please, share the jade&tobey headcanons! šŸ¤­
omg thank you for enabling me. these are fully made up like fully made up, i invented a whole movie in my head, i hope you enjoy:
both jade and tobey are wealthy but tobey is from a wealthy family while jade is from a lower middle class family and made all his money himself
tobey works a very nondemanding job at his fathers company and his main occupations are beach and clubbing, he kind of feels dumb next to jade
he keeps trying to do a better job / be allowed to have more responsabilities but his father doesn't have any faith in him, jade keeps telling him to quit and look for a job elsewhere but he doesn't feel like he can survive without his family's support
jade is openly bi while tobey is gay and in the closet, he hasn't come out to his family because they're homophobic conservatives. he begs jade to "act straight" around them to not give him away
as kids he also asked jade to "act normal" around his family because he was afraid they wouldnt let him invite him to his house anymore. kid jade was veeeery jealous of all the wealth and absolutely hated going there (he also hated his uncle's house for the opposite reason)
jade and tobey have definitely made out and have very likely had sex but tobey wanted to stay in the closet to make sure his family wouldn't cut him off and jade didn't want to have a secret relationship so they were never officially together
tobey has a sister who is his complete opposite (dyed her hair black and left the family a long time ago). jade dated that sister casually on and off for years until she finally went steady with a really hot butch instead of with him (good for her)
tobey and jade are each other's impulse control and both percieve themselves as "the sane one" in the dynamic. neither is really wrong, they have both stopped the other from doing a lot of really stupid shit, but they have also done a lot of really stupid shit together like driving while high
while tobey is outwardly significantly more calm and collected than jade, he compensates by being way more into stuff like hard party drugs, extreme sports, and crypto trading
jade has tried to rope tobey into his science and tech projects since they were kids, and it unexpectedly kind of stuck. tobey has a chaotic / mad scientist streak in him so he loves things that go boom and is a nerd for psychological experiments
picture them as teenagers or young adults, jade is working on some electronics project while tobey is sitting on the floor just reading aloud some obscure really fucked up facts from his book
jade looks like he's not listening but stops from time to time to comment something like "what kind of idiot would electrocute himself?" or "why the fuck do they keep giving them more rats?"
he is someone who jade thought capable of designing and executing fromville as an escape room after all
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6kuros Ā· 2 years ago
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As a fellow creator who is also disturbed and upset by the revelation of pizza tower being a product of 4chan type people, I'm wondering how you handle it? I still want to draw fan art but Im struggling to not get uncomfortable. Basically, I have both love and hate for the game now, and you seem like a cool person so Im wondering how you deal with that. Love your pizza tower fan art sm btw!
im really glad that you enjoy my art, and also am flattered you think im cool!!!
first of all, id like to mention that the art i posted just now was art that i had finished last night, before everything about mcpig came to light and i just wanted to post it since i already had it doneā€¦still unsure if im going to draw consistent pizza tower in the future honestly, id like to because its a lot of fun and i really do love a lot about the game. ideally, the current situation would change somehow so i can do that without any discomfort for myself or others, but the only way i foresee that happening is if the devs actually remove the racist shit from the game
what makes me feel (kind of) okay about producing fanart for the game despite what emerged is mostly the fact that as long as i am not reproducing the harmful contents of the game, nor directly supporting the people behind it, im not putting any harm into the world or perpetuating the 4chan stuff i guess? the only thing im really worried about is possibly getting people to want to buy the game by putting my fanart out there, but considering the games popularity from streaming and youtube videos i dont see my own art as contributing to that much. that makes it easier for me not to feel unsettled when i draw fanart for it, but i think that depends on how you view the relationship between fanart and source material, especially in an interactive space like the internet. if you think your art risks sending the message that you approve of negative aspects of a piece of media then its probably better not to share that art
theres also the fact that from the messages that were revealed i get the impression that at some point mcpig had a sort of disdain for "cringe leftists" being fans of the game i guess, and i would consider myself someone who he would/would have found cringe at one point lol. so by being into the game its kind of a fuck you idc that you hate me, this thing you made is being enjoyed by cringe leftists. considering the tone of some of the messages was "if people get mad at me im just going to be edgy in response" i dont even think disengaging with the game would even bother him at all. but all of that is really just speculation and i dont want to insinuate that engaging with bigoted media is proactive just because you are a marginalized person or have progressive politics. its important to actually weigh the harm of your actions and what effect you have with your consumption of said media i dont really know if thats a good answer though, and if it holds up to any sort of moral judgement. i do think its possible to enjoy problematic media, but considering how new the game is its not the kind of thing i can look at and be like "this piece of media is from x years ago and doesnt do real harm now". my worst fear is that there are pizza tower fans who are going to see the awful shit in the game and replicate it, bc the game somehow makes them thinks theres nothing wrong with it or that they can do so without consequence. just from a scope of the fandom there seem to be a lot of young teenagers so Yeah. im concerned in that regard and id like to beam a message into kids' brains thats just like Hey this character design/behavior fucking sucks Dont do this
so, by posting my art anyway i hope i can contribute to a portion of the fanbase that is outwardly against the bigoted content in the game, as an alternative to mcpig dick riders/defenders. and if there are any fans out there involved in the community who dont know better, hopefully they can learn, and avoid perpetuating bigotry
all that being said, your feelings on the matter may be very different, and you dont have to abide to any of this thinking. if a piece of media is upsetting you, its okay to step away from it as long as you need. maybe see how you feel when you come back to it and if the hateful feelings are still there, there is no obligation to engage further
(and as a bottom line if anybody reading this is considering playing pizza tower i suggest you pirate it instead of paying for it)
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daigina-3 Ā· 2 years ago
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Passing Notes (in Secrecy)
(A childhood crush to nothing to something fic)
(1/4)
In 7th grade Steve Harrington likes a girl for the first time. Outwardly, he likes girls when itā€™s convenient. When it gets his friends off his back, when it makes him looks cool.
This new girl at Hawkins Middle, though? The one with the curly brown hair and dimples and flannels that are too big for her? Steve doesnā€™t like her to be cool or whatever; sheā€™s just for Steve.
But then the new girl Steve likes isnā€™t actually a new girl at all.
āœØRead it on AO3!āœØ
Steve sees her across the hall.
Or, he sees her hair first, through a thinning crowd of other middle schoolers, running to their lockers or their friends lockers to chat and escape class for a few minutes.
Her hairā€™s just barely touching her shoulders, curly and dark brown. Just a little fluffy and Steve knows heā€™s never seen this head of hair before- a new person in a town like Hawkins where no one is new- he keeps staring.
Sheā€™s wearing a flannel thatā€™s way too big for her, jeans and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. Thereā€™s lots of little buttons on it, ones Steve canā€™t make out but he thinks it makes her bag look cool- she has personality. Eclectic (thanks Mr. Donovan for the new vocab word).
She slams her locker closed and turns- Steve just barely catches her face, pretty with her nose scrunched up like sheā€™s mad- before she does a 180 and disappears down the hall.
Steveā€™s liked lots of girls, publicly. Loudly. He puffs his chest up in front of his friends and says ā€œI dropped my pencil on purpose in Science class and Jennifer gave it back to me,ā€ he smiles, smug as his guy friends look on. ā€œWorks every time. Sheā€™s into me.ā€
He was totally bullshitting, of course. Heā€™d dropped his pencil on accident. But Tommy teased him about crushing on Jennifer- made some gross comment about her changing during PE- and Steve hated the little shriveling feeling he got in his stomach when Tommy made jokes about that stuff. Embarrassment. Shame- liking people was shameful- or, no, being lame, being unpopular, being undatable and shy around girls was shameful.
(Years later, Steve would scoff at his seventh grade self. The least of his problems.)
So Steve balled up that shriveling little feeling in his gut and clenched it right, took control. Actually, hadnā€™t Tommy heard? Steve was the master of picking up chicks. Heā€™d played Jennifer like a violin, if violins were easy to play, and now she was hooked.
It kept going- first Jennifer, then Stacy, then Michelle. The second Steve caught even a whiff of his friends about to say something he took control. And yeah, turns out this shit was really like eighty percent confidence because the guys bought it and the girls did too- every one of them blushed and turned to look at their friends when Steve passed them by in the hallways. He was a chick magnet- the most badass chick magnet seventh grader youā€™d ever met, the way he told it.
When people were watching, anyway. When they werenā€™t, well. He guesses heā€™d liked Jennifer and the rest of them enough but he really couldnā€™t have cared less. They were fine. They were cool. But even if they were cool, the pressure of girls was way more trouble than it was worth.
But Steve sees her- and suddenly, he has his first private crush. A little feeling nudges itā€™s way into his chest. A little pinch in his heart when he sees her in the cafeteria or at her locker. And this is just for him.
For the first time, without anyone around, Steve likes a girl.
He doesnā€™t have any classes with her- wouldnā€™t dare ask any of his friends about her. He wants to keep this little feeling, this fragile thing in his chest, just for him. He wonā€™t let anyone else ruin it.
He hears her laugh at something a teachers says- and itā€™s so cute. He noticies when she tucks her curly hair behind one ear- and sheā€™s so pretty. He sees her eat alone at lunch and and wants to sit with her, pauses in the middle of the cafeteria- maybe-
ā€œHey, Steve,ā€ Carol calls in the other direction. Tommy H and the others- Brian, Isaac, the whole gang are waiting.
Steve joins them, dragging his sneakers so they squeak on the linoleum in quiet dejection, mostly tunes out when his friends talk about some weirdo boy in Carolā€™s class who draws freaky pictures in his textbook and maybe is starting a cult.
He sees her name, kind of. Written sloppy on the paper sheā€™s got crushed in her hands- a B on some math homework- he reads ELLIE MUNSON.
Ellie Munson. Itā€™s cute. Ellie. Ellie.
He tucks the name away next to the little feeling in his chest.
Ellie.
*
A week later, he has a note written up. A little torn out piece of notebook paper, folded up into eighths in the breast pocket of his jacket. Right next to the tucked away little feeling in his heart and the tucked away Ellie . Ellie and the little feeling and the note squeeze in his chest, tight. He gets on the bus- it wonā€™t take him home, but itā€™s the bus he knows Ellie will be riding because he told his mom he had to stay after school the day before so he could scope out the bus pick up- and sheā€™s not there.
He stands at the front, in between two of the cheap bus seats, looking for her curly brown hair. He keeps going over every row, every mop of hair in every seat until he accepts that sheā€™s not there and kids are pushing at him from behind- he drags his feet to the back of the bus and plops down in a free seat.
He takes out the little folded up paper and fiddles with it in his fingers. He pouts, looks out the window, feels the nerves drain out of him slow and sad.
Another day.
Thump .
Someone plops down next to him and Steveā€™s little pinch in his chest becomes a choke hold because holy shit itā€™s her. Itā€™s her.
Sheā€™s got her Walkman in her ears, old and taped together with some stickers on it. Sheā€™s not paying Steve any mind, almost trained in the way sheā€™s not looking at him; lost in the chaotic music turned up so high he can hear it loud and clear next to her, though he doesnā€™t know what it is.
Up close, she has the faintest hint of freckles on her cheeks. Steveā€™s never thought a nose could be cute before but hers is and her eyes are so big and round- he takes her in in sneaking glances, his cheeks warm.
They pass by three stops before Steve kicks himself. He doesnā€™t know when she gets off but he canā€™t miss it now. He canā€™t.
He turns his body- frozen stiff- towards her, their knees just an inch apart, and thanks god for the private bubble made by an entire bus of kids talking over each other so loud that no one would hear them even if they tried.
He clutches the note in his hand.
ā€œUh- Hi- Ellie?ā€
She doesnā€™t hear him at first, still ignoring him and staring at nothing like sheā€™s a trained pro. Steve repeats himself but ends up tapping her on the shoulder and she jumps like she only just noticed him.
ā€œā€¦yeah?ā€ She mumbles, quiet.
Steve doesnā€™t know what to say. He didnā€™t plan this far ahead- sit next to the pretty girl, give her the note, hope she says yes. But what does he say ?
ā€œI, uh. Your hair is real pretty.ā€ Itā€™s not his best move- but other girls love compliments. Steve had called Natalie Hā€™s eyes cute once and she had kissed him on the cheek. So maybe..
Ellie just blank faces him, looks a little confused. Offended, maybe?
Steve panics a little.
He has no idea where to go from here, so with his heart in his throat and his little tucked away feeling blown up to the size of a hot air balloon in his chest, Steve takes the little note folded up in eighths and thrusts it towards Ellie, his arms stiff.
She stares at him for four agonizing seconds before taking it.
And the note is about as elegant as the China-glass-fragile ego of a seventh grade boy will allow- which is to say, Steve had written, using his best pen in very careful handwriting:
Ellie,
Hi. Iā€™m Steve. Youā€™re a really cool girl. I like you. Will you go out with me?
[_] YES or [_]NO
Steve
Steve watches her, his lips pressed together in a thin line, the hot hair balloon in his chest ready to explode.
ā€œYou donā€™t have to answer now,ā€ he manages to get out- is praying sheā€™ll smile and slip it in her pocket. Maybe sit a little closer to him on the bus seat and share her headphones.
Her eyebrows knit together.
Her lips purse in a sour frown.
She looks at Steve like heā€™s something nasty stuck to her shoe.
Steve has never felt more scared.
ā€œIs this a joke ? Youā€™re not fucking funny,ā€ Ellie spits, her voice is poison, itā€™s anger, she hates Steve and he doesnā€™t understand. Canā€™t wrap his mind around it and the feeling in his chest that got so big, that choke hold that was so tight- itā€™s going for the kill.
ā€œNo- no, I-ā€œ
ā€œI told your dumb friends- Iā€™m not a girl,ā€ she snarls and balls the paper up in her hand.
ā€œWait- huh? No-ā€œ
And Steve sees it. Holy shit, holy shit- how could he be so dumb? The way his shoulders were just a little bit wider, the way his eyebrows were just a little bit unruly, not like the other girls in school- his voice, Steve had thought it was just a little scratchy for a girl but no. No.
Steve looks Ellie over and heā€™s not Ellie at all. On his messenger bag at between them, among the little buttons and pins a hand-sewn on patch says EDDIE in big bold letters.
Eddie Munson was not a girl.
Steve screams- not because Eddie but because he has so many things he wants to say all at once- Iā€™m sorry I didnā€™t know and I didnā€™t know and itā€™s fine I donā€™t care Iā€™m sorry and it wasnā€™t a joke I wouldnā€™t joke about that and I didnā€™t mean it- and Iā€™m sorry-
And eventually he does. His face beat-red, he rushes to explain himself and then calms down and actually explains himself- and apologize- and apologize again.
Eddie- Eddie, not Ellie- side eyes him, weary. He looks from the note balled up in his hand to Steve and back again. ā€œIā€™m.. not gay,ā€ he mutters.
ā€œNo! No, me neither,ā€ Steve rushes to agree. And heā€™s not. Eddie just.. really looked like a pretty girl. So obviously now that heā€™s not a pretty girl, Steve doesnā€™t like him. Duh.
ā€œItā€™s the hair,ā€ Eddie says. ā€œPeople always call me ā€˜little girlā€™ when they see me from behind.ā€ Steve agrees, laughs stiffly.
ā€œSo- we donā€™t have to, like, tell anyone about this.. it was a.. misunderstanding. Iā€™m sorry,ā€ Steve says for the hundredth time.
Eddie shakes his head, tells Steve itā€™s okay- heā€™s sorry, too, for snapping- but thereā€™s some assholes around school getting on his case, so. He assumed Steve was, too.
ā€œTommy,ā€ Steve supplies and Eddie nods. Adds ā€˜and Carolā€™ and Steve grimaces. They both know Steve knows Tommy and Carol. Their friend group is no secret. ā€œYeah, they can be.. I get it.ā€
And he does get it. He gets that whatever Carol and Tommy have been saying to Eddie or about Eddie that it fucking sucks and if they knew.. Steve doesnā€™t want to think about it.
(For him or for Eddie.)
So he and Eddie promise- this stays between them. Eddie seems to understand that Steve- well, he doesnā€™t have to say it and Eddie just gets it, gets what he wants to say. And Steve kind of thinks he gets Eddie, too.
And they give each other these smiles- careful, small smiles.
The bus lurches to a stop, just outside of Forest Hills trailer park and Eddie stands up slow, letting a few kids behind him go first. ā€œThis is me,ā€ he says. ā€œSee you around.. Steve.ā€
ā€œUhh, yeah. Bye.. Eddie.ā€
Eddie shuffles down the middle of the bus and hops off the last step onto the pavement. He pretends to fiddle with his messenger bag, but Steve sees him sneak a glance up at the bus, right at the window where Steve is sitting Steve knows Eddie is looking because heā€™s looking too- until they lock eyes and simultaneously just about jump out of their skin, pretending they were doing anything but watching the other.
-
Steve wakes up nervous. His mom drops him off and he spends the whole car ride and the walk to his locker wondering if heā€™ll see Eddie. Will it be weird? He thinks of Eddie avoiding him- the weird guy who asked another guy out- and wants to hide a little.
Itā€™s not that weird, though. He thought Eddie was Ellie- so it doesnā€™t mean anything. Now that he knows Eddie is Eddie, he doesnā€™t want to go out with him, obviously. So thereā€™s literally nothing weird about it.
It continues to feel weird, though.
Heā€™s walking to first period, reading over the homework he only half did, when he sees Eddie. It doesnā€™t feel weird when Steve actually sees him.
He wonders if heā€™s allowed to say something- he doesnā€™t have anything to say, he just wants to talk. Ask him if he got home okay or show him his stupid homework and see if he could get some help on number six, cause it was a bitch.
Maybe if they have an actual conversation after the disaster on the bus, Steve wonā€™t feel as anxious as he has anymore. Maybe itā€™s because heā€™s talked to Eddie but heā€™s still thinking of her- of him- as Ellie.
Maybe if they have a conversation, they could be actual friends. Even if heā€™s not a girl, Eddieā€™s still kinda cool. They could hang out and listen to music on weekends or Steve could show Eddie his pool; other kids love his pool!
He has no idea what to say- just that it has to be something- but when he smiles and goes to say ā€œhiā€ or ā€œI like your shirt,ā€ Eddie only waves and they both keep walking.
Steve keeps thinking about talking to him; maybe he can just go up to him at his locker and say hi like theyā€™re already friends? Maybe if he asks a question, like about the buttons on Eddieā€™s bag? Steve tosses around the idea of asking to sit with him at lunch but shoots that down, fast. Sitting with someone at lunch is serious business, itā€™s not something done right out the gate.
Heā€™s still thinking about it when Tommy and Carol corner him at his locker in third period.
ā€œIs it true?ā€ Carol almost throws herself into the locker next to Steve, leaning on it like itā€™s a life preserver.
ā€œIsā€¦ what true?ā€
She scoffs and looks at Tommy in that giddy way she does when she has something juicy to talk about. ā€œJason told Michelle you and that weirdo in my advanced algebra class were sitting together on the bus yesterday. Michelle said that you asked him out. ā€
Steve feels his stomach drop. Oh god. Oh god, oh god.
Carolā€™s smile is sharp and she looks curious- but in a way where sheā€™s trying to see if Steveā€™s edible or not. If she can rip him apart.
She always did remind him of a hyena, like the ones on Animal Planet.
ā€œAre you, like, a homo?ā€ Carol asks, delighted.
ā€œ No !ā€ The denial comes up so fast and so violently that it kind of feels like vomiting. ā€œCarol, what the fuck?ā€
And then he says something he knows is fucked up. But with Carol and Tommyā€™s eyes on him, one looking starving and the other disgusted, he doesnā€™t see any other way out. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows heā€™s going to regret them.
ā€œThat kid on the bus? That was just a joke. He sat next to me and I was like ā€˜what the fuck?ā€™ I mean, you canā€™t even tell if itā€™s a boy or a girl. I was going to tell you about it at lunch, I knew youā€™d think it was funny.ā€
Steve sees Tommyā€™s shoulders relax a little and Carolā€™s face goes from gleeful to ecstatic and he knows heā€™s safe.
ā€œOh, Jesus, Steve,ā€ Tommy exhales like Steve was just pulled from a burning bus. ā€œYou really had us worried. I thought Iā€™d have to start changing in the bathroom during PE.ā€
ā€œOh my God, but I bet that weirdo Munson is gay. The poor eighth graders. I bet that creep stares at everyoneā€™s butts when they change. Do you think we should tell the PE teacher?ā€ Carol giggles.
Tommy shrugs like he might consider it. ā€œMy dad says thatā€™s where they get you. The homos. In the locker room or the bathroom, right when you got your pants around your ankles.ā€
ā€œEuuugh- Itā€™s a miracle he didnā€™t, like, grab your ass, Steve! Imagine!ā€
Steve laughs with them, pretending to shiver in disgust.
Heā€™s safe. Safe was supposed to feel good, wasnā€™t it? But all Steve feels is sick.
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cloudysfluffs Ā· 2 years ago
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do you have any headcanons for the funny puppets? would you like to share them with us maybe? :)
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AHHHSDJFKLHJKSD hello anons i am SOOOOO sorry that its taken so long to answer this but hi yes i do!!!!!!!!!! i would love to tell you all about them :)
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the main three are all 100% a lee leaning switches sorry i make the rules
Red:
-oh boy. this fucking GUY,
-he is so cute its NOT EVEN FUNNY. WHYD THEY MAKE HIM SO HOT ADORABLE. i want to Wreck Him and its a fucking crime that heā€™s the only one that ISNT CANNONICALLY TCKLISH.Ā 
-he doesnt usually admit when hes in A Mood.at least not out loud. Duck is rlly competitiveĀ so sometimes all it takes to get himself wrecked is to just be a liittlle more challenging and it is OVER for him
-he doesnt emote too much, at least not outwardly? he tries to keep himself composed unless its a BIG emotion
-so whenever he giggles its kind of a big deal <3 he does a lot of hiding his face in his hands and turning his head away and no one understands why because you cant fucking see him blushing/smiling anyway
-hes a really smug ler though. he has the upper hand over pretty much everyone, being so much bigger
-he can toss/pin duck and yellow around super easily and (as much as duck will whine about it) they both love it its so fun
-big fan of raspberries :) hes the only one who can do them. duck cant cause of his beak and yellow just. he doesnt understand. he tries and it does not work
-very squirmy. has to keep being reminded that its ok bc he keeps shoving his lers off
-cheer up tckles are his JAM. specificallyĀ on the receiving end i mean
-whenever hes bummed out, his buddies always know that it means he wants to be held and reassured and maybe tckled a little <33333
Duck:
-despite the fact that he is OBVIOUSLY a huge lee, heā€™s most often the ler of the house!
-but hes super annoying about it
-ā€™ā€™you guys cant get me because IM the best one :)))ā€™ā€™Ā ā€˜ā€™somebodys jeaaalouuus :) jealous of me being leeerrrr :))ā€™ā€™
-red is his favorite target of course, but thats just because he loved hearing him laugh :o) watching him go from composed to all gigglygnb melts his heart <333
-usally he will start complaining if you so much as put a hand on his shoulder because he HAAATTTESSS being touched but that is ALL out the window when red and or tckling is involved
-he is so so cuddly when he wrecks red. he hugs him and nuzzles into his stomach and his sides and ruffles his big fluffy fur <3333 what a nuisance
-is the WHINIEST lee in the whole world. will act like hes dying if hes not getting tickled right that sectond
-will bitch and moan to red until hes annoyed into getting him. tugs on his shirt and lays dramatically over the furniture
-whenever hes flustered/mad his feathers will fluff up like a baby chicken and it makes his intimidating factor go way down
-he has a habit of flapping his wings really hard when getting tckled and it gets feathers everywhere and they all hate cleaning it up. except for yellow who collects them :)Ā 
Yellow:
-probably has the least amount of ler in him in the house
-prob had to be taught what tckling was since OBVIOUSLY roy and lesley never got him (at least not while he was alive)
-but he has a sort of nostalgia attached to tckling.......like a super distant memory.....
-loves the fun playful affectionate aspect the most. he feels super close to all his housemates when theyre tckling each other !!!! :o3 theyr all his best friends
-if he wants to play he will usually just ask for it?? but sometimes he cant find the words so just tries to tckle one of the homies
-it always works bc they all love playing with him too :3
-loves ducks feathers and reds raspberries the most. really gentle stuff makes him super happy
-after they play they usually nap in a big pile if they have nothin going on
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autisticiyami Ā· 11 months ago
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crazy? i was crazy once. they locked me in a room. a rubber room. a rubber room filled with rats. th
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LISTEN TO MY AUTISM-INDUCED HEADCANONS BOY. i think about him a criminal amount i have his entire life planned out to fit with that ososan repainted idea i never did anything with that goes along with 80skun. do u see the vision. no? well ill show u. welcom to my freaking twisted evil mind. rant incoming.
also im gona be hopefully updating this semi-frequently as i draw more stuff and actually feel like explaining stuff. this post will be my Iyami Autism Diary now.
i dont have specific sources on any of these rn bc im writing this on my computer and also bc its probably something i saw once and didnt bother to save or anthing so. bear with me here.
-baby iyami. loveless child. born by a mother who always knew she would be better off without him and sharing the sibling moniker with an unironic sociopath older brother. emotionally neglected and naturally socially inept due to autism, along with like.. looking like that. you know he was torn to shred by everyone. japanese kids are RUTHLESS his entire elementary/middle school experience was getting his face dragged across the concrete and his lunch money stolen. i imagine he starts to become rlly jaded and outwardly mean as a defense mechanism in like 2nd/3rd grade, finally realizing that this shit isnt all sunshines and rainbows lil bro and that no one likes him. he went to school with both honkan and kaoru, honkan he would always get into scuffles with but kaoru was like the only kid that ever genuinely attempted to be nice to iyami. read: attempted. because iyami has bpd at the ripe age of 7 and a half and screams at him whenever hes around for no reason other than that hes really scared of him being a genuinely kind person. hes a fucked up kid in a fucked up situation surrounded by nothing but apathy and misunderstanding of how he works and thinks and wants. the scar on his face comes from an incident with his older brother who i imagine got so mad at him one time that he chased iyami around with a knife threatening to slit his throat open. luckily (or probably more unluckily) he just sliced the side of his face open. that was the first and last time that iyamis mother actually worried for him. and by "worried" i mean get mad at both of them for fucking around like that and then not taking iyami to get stitches because "he'd be fine."
-iyami's highschool experience is. slightly less horrific. mostly because hes kinda just accepted that everyone in the whole world hates him and at some point realized he should just live out of spite to piss everyone else off. he never really had any career dreams mostly since the only career he realistically could have was wage slave in the city, which would be like sending him to death row for him. due to his autism and prolonged abuse from all sides, hes become kind of an expert at knowing how people work, though he doesnt necessarily understand any of it. he realizes that he would much rather be a backpeddler on the streets than a corporate slave, so when hes kicked out at like 16/17 for being literally just a curseon his mother at that point hes right out there trying to charm his way into any way to make money. first couple years were difficult, i imagine he just. didnt finish highschool due to being homeless immediately. he always had a kickass sense of style though, and maybe bc he was younger he managed to pull off charm much more successfully. honestly i dont have too many any specific ideas ab this era sowwy... bc it kinda just exists as "the part before chibita" which speaking of
-his twenties and thirties is spent like the exact same way. like the autism is strong in this one hes very content with just being the worst. but thats only because he literally sees no other way for him to live because its all hes been offered to do by life. quite fucked up! but that leaves him with a great optimism and positive "nothing in life matters!!!!" attitude. i actuallyyyyy dont know exactly how to span this next part.... but i was thinking that he met chibita when the kid was around 6 and iyami was 30. iyami just kind of... adopts him? as a weird sort of nephew. but at the same time iyami is in a perpetual state of childishness so sometimes chibita is like the parent/uncle to iyami. theyre so strange. but speaking of iyamis childishness Yeah theres some side effects of prolonged neglect and trauma since first memory surprisingly!! iyami kind of aged backwards, having to mature early to try and protect himself and keep some level of sanity, he was never really treated like a kid especially not by mother and brother or even other kids. now that he's an actual adult his brain has sort of flipped over, now stuck in a weird area of feigning immaturity in every situation that isnt immediately "life-threatening" in his eyes. all that to say that iyami is agere and is basically regressed somewhat at all times and it just varies depending on the situation.
but yeah this era. a couple years after meeting chibita he ships himself off to the city suddenly hoping to be able to make something happen there Kind of an early mid-life crisis moment. and boy it is not great! this part is where i dump the rest of trauma on him but you dont get to hear that. something something tougou's crime ring. after like a bit under a year he ends up coming back and... HOLY FUCK IS THAT A REFERENCE TO THE FIRST EPISODE OF OSOMATSU-KUN 1988??? you bet your sorry ass it is. im literally so smart they shouldve hired me to make ososan dude.
-osokun '88 era happens ig?? his old situationship behated kaoru is a cop now apparently and he's stationed right in iyami territory. quite awkward! kaoru doesnt particularly like him 1 because like. cop/criminal dichotomy first of all. 2 because iyami was a cunt to him and honkan for seemingly no reason their entire childhood and 3 iyami seems to have a really weird complex of being mean and hating kaoru currently but also obviously going out of his way to get in kaoru's way. quite immature! i explained why that is though. kaoru in his infinite sweetnes though eventually just kinda feels bad for the dude because its kinda just pathetic at this point and also because he DOES know that iyami is actually a super cute sweet guy because there was one (1) time where as a kid iyami let his guard down around kaoru and played with him at his house after school just to be completely ripped to shreds literally and figuaratively by his classmates the next day when kaoru was acting super friendly with him and iyami just kinda blamed him for it for like 20 years. VERY pathetic! but he was like 9 dude. kaoru understands this and kinda just... lets iyami wreak havoc more than he would other people partly bc he still thinks hes pretty silly.
i have a whole big episode idea of the two getting together and probably hundreds of headcanons and ideas about the two together but tbh?? im gonna spare you and keep it as paraphrased as i can manage for both of our sanities. but watch me go back and edit this post or make a new one just infodumping ab everything about them.
but like yeah ig events happen. hey do u remember iyami's "daughter" who is actually his niece because there is no fucking way in any reality that this guy has procreated?? well she comes in sometime around here becasue her father (still an untreated aspd) kind of doesnt give a shit and neither does her whore mother and they choose to dump their kid off with uncle iyami for the summers now. yay!! i also have a lot of headcanons and stuff ab her (her name is hiyori btw) but thats for another post.
iyami's family turns into basically him, his husband, and his two (sometimes three) (some not actually legit) (and one is gone when it isnt the summer) neicephews. isnt that awsome??? i cry and scream and throw up just thinking about it. sometimes iyami is the nephew but thats awesome. sometimes a family can be some gay man and an orphan that is his husband's nephew and his husband's actual niece, his husband's lesbian best friend that is basically an aunt at this point, and his husband who is sometimes also his nephew/child because of cptsd and they are all autistic. truly beautiful stuff.
and yeah thats. that. like i said i'll be updating this with better explanations of stuff and hopefully actual art But this works for now!!!! no one wanted this but the world got it anyway. you can thank me later.
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why-am-i-here-just-to-suffer Ā· 2 years ago
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"White" Jews are systemically oppressed based on immutable characteristics. Not to mention that Jews who are literal POC with Middle Eastern and such heritage are all too often lumped together into one group. In "progressive" countries in Europe you can get hate crimed for simply wearing a kippah and tzitzit outside. And who is doing said hatecriming? The pro-Palestinean group. They aren't concerned with our political beliefs. They will go after us simply based on the fact that we are outwardly Jewish. There's a reason we haven't returned to Europe post-Holocaust. America has managed to be safer. The same things happen on American college campuses all the time. Story after story of students being physically assaulted by pro-Palestinean groups. Or just walking up to us unprompted and asking us about our opinion on Israel. Because if you don't buy into the Palestinian terrorist groups' propaganda (Israel has plenty of ridiculous propaganda too, they are not innocent in that regard) then they will shun you from everything. And now with Kanye West and Irving and all this crap the right is coming out too.
It's not a religion thing. They don't want us to convert, they want us dead. Antisemitism uses eugenics and discrimination based on genetic heritage, not cultural practices. It's much more racism/xenophobia than it is religious discrimination.
Jews are one of if not the most systematically oppressed group throughout history:
Antiochus of Syria desecrated the Temple with Greek idols, and forbid Jewish religious practices. Legend has it the Jews practiced in caves in secret. I shouldn't need to explain why this is attempted cultural genocide. Antiochus was defeated by the Hasmoneans, led by Judah the Maccabee.
Achashveirosh decides to get rid of queen Vashti and selects a new queen, Esther. Her cousin Mordechai reported a plot to assasinate the king to her, gaining the king's respect. Haman, the king's top adviser, demands that everyone bow down to him in the streets. Mordechai refuses because it is sacrilegious to do so. Haman gets mad and convinces the gullible king Achashveirosh of Persia to let him exterminate all Jews in the empire. Esther sees Moredchai in mourning and asks him what is happening. Some stuff happens to work around laws related to unpromptedly approaching the king, but eventually Achashveirosh is informed that Haman wants to exterminate Esther and her people. Achashveirosh is not happy and orders Haman be hanged on the gallows he built for Mordechai.
The Crusades. It was primarily between the Christians and the Muslims, but they couldn't help but persecute Jews at the same time as well. Myths like "the Jews killed Jesus" and "Jews eat the blood of babies" date all the way back to this time, and people still believe them today. The blood libel is OLD.
The Holocaust. Hitler attempts to exterminate the entire Jewish population of Europe through death camps on a mass scale. He only failed because traditionally opposed military powers (namely America and Russia, also quite antisemitic. Russia only fought back for political and territorial reasons. The Soviet Union hated Jews.) banded together to stop him.
And much much more.
And today, people are still chanting "Jews will not replace us." "From the river, to the sea, Palestine will be free!" (of Jews. Left unsaid so that progressives buy into the rhetoric. I'm sure a lot of them actually mean it.)
The separation of Zionism from Judaism. Zionism is the idea that Jews have the right to return to their historical homeland, Israel. The land that is literally central to Judaism and its practices. On its own it says nothing about who should be in control, what the government or economy should look like, or what rights citizens, including goyim, should have. That's up to a person's individual political beliefs. For this reason, being "anti-Zionist," or "anti-Israel," is inherently antisemitic. Any Jew who says otherwise had either believed the lies, or is saying it for their own personal safety. There's obviously a difference between being anti- a certain government and anti- the existence of a country. "Pro-Palestineans" are by and large anti- the existence of a country. Nobody ever talks about China, or Russia, or North Korea, or other countries far more oppressive, like they do about Israel. There's a reason for that. Fun fact: The original Zionist pioneers were communist! The early settlers created kibbutzim, literal communes. And it worked really well on a small scale for initial development of the land. It's honestly beyond me how anyone could point at Zionism and call it fascism. There are communist Zionists, fascist Zionists, and everyone im between. More religious Jews tend to lean right, and less religious Jews tend to lean left. But if you're left leaning you're not allowed to be a Zionist. That's why it looks like Zionism is all right-wing when that's historically and objectively not true.
We are hiring security guards at synagogues, putting in code locks, putting up boulders and concrete pillars.
But sure, because some of us are ethnically "white" that means we aren't actually oppressed at all.
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regenderate Ā· 2 years ago
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I'm bi and 100% agree Tegan and Ace stuff along with that whole episode was lesbophobic. I feel like Graham came out of no where just to make Ace flirt with a man. I love graham but he didn't need to be there. It's not biphobic to be mad about it. Its not even bisexual. I hate when people use bisexuality to undermine the harm caused in media. People unable to not make a woman not revolve around a man romantically isnā€™t good rep for me. Especially since the show isn't actually doing any bi representation!!! They didn't write Ace flirting to be bi, they wrote it for her to be straight!! I've yet to watch classic who but it was still frustrating.
NO LITERALLY. LITERALLY. the thing is like. the evidence for ace being canonically bi is that she gets with men in eu content but i don't think me not knowing about the eu content is like. a character flaw. and i also don't think eu content is conclusive in a time when like... not every writer would've picked up on ace being gay coded. and lots of lesbians get into relationships with men before they figure out they're lesbians, like having had relationships with men to me does not feel conclusive in this context. but like i think this is a really petty argument to be honest like i just don't think it matters that much if ace is bi or a lesbian. maybe not caring very much also makes me biphobic but šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø
but yeah like if ace in potd was written to be bi i would respect that obviously? honestly even just if that episode had been anything other but the most cowardly lukewarm homophobic piece of television i've ever seen. i would respect it. and like i don't know if we need a different word or what but like when i say it's lesbophobic i 100% also think it's harmful to bi wlw. but yeah like they literally went out of their way to establish attraction to men and not women for both tegan and ace and it's like... hm! like i honestly can't figure out if chibnall is outwardly lesbophobic or just completely clueless.
i do also think if ace is bi she goes for men with a LOT more gender which is why i keep saying i want her to have flirted with jack instead. i just think they would match each other, genderwise. but that's subjective, that's not discourse. even if she's a lesbian i think we were robbed of her jokingly flirting with jack like... šŸ˜­
anyway if you haven't seen ace's seasons i highly recommend it she is THE blorbo of all time. like. regardless of what you think of her sexuality 35 years later šŸ˜­ just beware it is like. the 80's and there's definitely at least one instance of completely unnecessary racism. but overall ace is literally everything i love her
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vacantgodling Ā· 1 year ago
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For the pride asks!
1. Which labels do you use?
7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?
15. How has your identity changed over time?
<3 MJ
MJ!!! happy pride šŸ’›šŸ’› iā€™ll do this for me & ur favorite vampire boys (so darren, gabe, n & beau :>)
1. Which labels do you use?
i personally use queer (my sexuality is mad complicated and i canā€™t really find a term that i like. if i were to pick something close iā€™d say achillean or mlnb/mlm really resonates with me & i love that damn toothpaste flag in part out of spite) & transmasc (i consider myself a trans man for the most part but my relationship with being a Man is complicated by being nd/black etc so transmasc in itself feels right but i also like genderqueer ā€” queer is my favorite tbh)
for darren heā€™s bi!
gabe is demiromantic demisexual & heā€™s gay. he kinda learns that heā€™s these things throughout the story bc heā€™s like deadass never been attracted to anyone until he and darren start getting close and he doesnā€™t really know what to do with himself lmao
n is a transman & tbh he hasnā€™t thought about his sexuality too much cuz heā€™s married to his ambition šŸ’€ he would definitely say heā€™s queer but he doesnā€™t really care too much about defining himself too hard bc until beau he had No Plans of being with anyone romantically or sexually lol. not bc he doesnā€™t feel that kind of attraction or anything, heā€™s just been more focused on his career lmao
beau is pansexual :3c also heā€™s a vampire which is just being inherently queer in he & nā€™s universe.
7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?
for me, nah. two of my older cousins are gay and thereā€™s probably more but iā€™m not close to my fam. i am however the token trans person šŸ¤Ŗ
for darren nah, both his parents (dave & liz) are bi, and olice has some gender fuckery/aspec vibes going on but she doesnā€™t really have labels for anything yet.
gabe technically no? but he doesnā€™t really talk to his mom about this type of stuff lol. + being a millennia+ old celestial vampireā€¦ sexuality and labels are just cute human concepts to her. itā€™s different for gabe bc he was born on earth and while not raised like ā€œhumanā€ or anything he doesnā€™t have the same experience as the few other celestials around.
n, definitely yes. his mom is super supportive but he doesnā€™t talk to his grandparents.
beau doesnā€™t know his birth family so thatā€™s a complicated question. apart of the larger vampire ā€œfamilyā€ definitely not lol. in this universe, even being a vampire is a status of being queer so.
15. How has your identity changed over time?
for darren it was more straightforward he liked boys growing up and realizing he could like girls was kind of a secondary thing? heā€™d say itā€™s cuz of the whole cooties debacle from youth and he took that shit too seriously as a kid, so he never really had girl or femme id-ing people he hung out with until olice came into his life and then after that he realized oh, shit. yeah girls hot also awooga. (not bc of her sheā€™s a sister to him but him realizing oh i can talk to girls and not die, oh theyā€™re hot too)
gabe really didnā€™t have any type of sexuality awakening until darren lmao like itā€™s kind of funny. if you asked him before he would say he was aroace bc he didnā€™t like anyone and even his close friends didnā€™t spark anything in him. darren was different thoā€”he flustered him and he liked being around him and Maybe wanted to kiss him? so thatā€™s when he realized he was probably demi instead bbhggh
n was one of those i knew i was queer from birth types so he doesnā€™t feel like the journey was with his identity, just more getting the curtain to match the drapesā€”or, getting how he presented outwardly to match his feelings inward. he was one of those athletic tomboys who hated being associated with girl shit, etc but had grandparents who raised him try to force him into that box, which is why he doesnā€™t talk to them now.
beau is also similar to n; bc being a vampire is inherently queer in their universe (in general too probably but yknow), because he was turned so young (around 5) heā€™s always felt inherently queer so there wasnā€™t much of a Journey to figuring himself out in that sense.
and then my long ass answer under the cut
when i was younger i never liked being a girl. but i didnā€™t really think of myself as a boy either? i just thought of myself as ā€œdeadnameā€ and that was the extent of everything. i hated being feminine but i didnā€™t really resonate with being a ā€œboyā€ because i didnā€™t like sports and the like. at some point i kind of just accepted that i was a ā€œtomboyā€ but i still just felt like ā€œdeadnameā€ that was my gender lmao. at least up until 8th grade where (2) things happened. (1) i found yaoi and (2) i had a Queer Awakening experience. for the first part iā€™d been really into japanese anime and shit for a long time but when i discovered yaoi and saw 2 men being able to love each other romantically and sexually it really opened up my worldview. i kinda never thought about having a partner. iā€™d had people say they liked me before but i just never felt likeā€¦ into them? but looking back itā€™s probably bc i knew they saw me as a girl and thatā€™s what i didnā€™t like i just didnt know that lmao. but seeing yaoi made me subconsciously realize that i would want a partner if it was like That. i didnā€™t know what That was at the time (the that being, me also being a dude lmao). and the queer awakening was when i was coming back from a school trip and my friend at the time fell asleep on me with her head on my shoulder. and i just remember thinking so so VIVIDLY ā€œomg itā€™s like iā€™m her boyfriendā€ and the idea of it filled me with euphoria?? i tried to think ā€œnah i should be thinking gf bc iā€™m a girl right?ā€ but my brain rejected that Immediately. after that when i got into tumblr in hs i kind of started learning more about being gender-fluid and so i kind of dabbled in thatā€”bc around that time the friends and gf i had were very like. oh boys suck and shit and i couldnā€™t just be a boy without feeling some type of way? but i definitely wasnā€™t Just a girl. i tried to convince myself maybe i wasnā€™t a boy at all bc i still didnā€™t feel like i could be oneā€”i still didnā€™t like boy shit. i liked wearing skirts (at the time), i liked dress up games and feminine shitā€¦ so clearly i had to be Partially a girl? so it kept me in the closet for a long bit until i finally was like nah iā€™m like. just. a dude. a guy. all of this gender shit kind of went hand in hand with my sexuality bc i always hated the insinuation that i was a lesbian (which happened a lot, got called lesbo, my mom kept asking me if i was a lesbian bc i was physically affectionate with my would become hs gf at the timeā€”and i realize now off topic that tbh i wouldnā€™t have dated her if my mom and her mom and other people werenā€™t putting pressure on it to be romantic? like friends can hold hands and cuddle for fucks sake Lmao) bc iā€™m not a girl or a woman lmao. i didnā€™t really like being bi either bc at the time i thought it was only being attracted to men and women and what about nb people (iā€™ve learned better now but this was in hs) plus my own gender was up in the air so like???? pan was my go to and i really felt at home in that label for many years. until i think a few years ago where like idk how to explain well but i just realized while i do think women can be pretty and even sexy iā€™m just not like. attracted to them in the same way that iā€™m attracted to men or nb people that arenā€™t femme leaning. so thatā€™s why mlm/mlnb feels right to me? like my partnerā€™s agender for instance lmao, but theyā€™re my self proclaimed goth hibimbo and they tend to dress femme bc they like the fashion so like. itā€™s not the presentation of femininity that iā€™m not attracted to? so in that sense i still feel like itā€™s not quite correct but. words are dumb we move.
this was so long rip
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navree Ā· 2 years ago
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I'm glad that other people noticed that Aegon is repulsed from physical interactions. And this the reason why i will never shut up about how much i hate the SA plotline that they have given to his character. I mean it's really clashes with his established characterization, and it's does make his character inconsistent.
but if I'm going to be honest i will not be mad if they actually have given him a mentality that would align with such behaviour. It will not make his character inconsistent. Book tyrion is one of my faves but let's all be honest here , book!tyrion is extremely misgonystic and an incel literally. So it didn't surprise me when he start raping sex workers in essos , thinking of raping his sister before killing her ... If the showrunners have given Aegon a similar personality/mentality to tyrion then it would make the SA plotline align with his character and nobody would be really shocked.
Very grateful that people actually agree with me that Aegon's got issues with touch and physical intimacy (if homeboy is getting blackout drunk before he can try having sex, then that's a problem that's literally self medicating) and that it wasn't just me going completely ham and talking out of my ass.
That kind of mentality that we see with Tyrion is the kind that, I think, works well in book form, but not in show form. Tyrion's misogyny, as I mentioned in an answer about my thoughts on House Lannister, can genuinely be hard for me to read, and part of the reason why some of the stuff he does and says was toned down as much as it was for the show, in spite of the problems it caused for the character, is that it would likely be harder to watch (I still don't think they should have done it, but the excuse for it isn't something completely unreasonable, just not good). And when you don't have the benefit that comes from books, narration and the character's internal voice and the time to expand on why someone feels that way, and all you can go on is what's done and said in front of you, it'd be a lot less excusable for an audience. Especially when that's how you're introducing a character, without the benefit of seeing the other facets of who they're like first.
It's also important to remember that a lot of Tyrion's issues that have made his misogyny become so outwardly expressive are borne of the fact that he is societally disadvantaged due to being a dwarf and the ableism that's followed him all his life. And while Aegon has his problems, he feels unloved and alone and is a deeply wounded person, emotionally, who needs to use substances to cope with living his life, he's got a lot of advantages and privileges in Westeros, the able bodied eldest son of the literal king. So having a Tyrion-esque mentality might not have been able to be sold quite as well.
I think what they should have done was find a middle ground, have Aegon be a drunkard who doesn't take things seriously and is irreverent and a bit of a jerk to people, but also acknowledge that a lot of that comes from the fact that he's in very real pain (and also touch repulsed), and he does still love his fam and rarely intentionally seeks to cause any serious harm, like how he was a bit of a shit to Aemond as kids, but he clearly didn't mean for it to escalate to the point where Aemond got injured, and when push came to shove immediately backed Aemond up on the Strong bastards thing. And if you wanna show how Alicent relates to a rape victim, just have Dyana's assailant be a Hightower guard, or a minor noble at court that we see Alicent berate, someone who would be in the position to do something like that but could still be yelled at by Alicent, and we'd still get that moment between women to see what she's like as both a woman and a queen.
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