#I hate Abby I do not like her even after playing the entire game

[chamiryokuroi]

Absolutely hate this thing I have seen recently in fandom in where you are not allowed to hate a character because “they had a reason” or “they were forgiven in canon already”

You are allowed to dislike/hate a character regardless of whatever redemption arc they had gone through in canon and nobody can tell you otherwise

[hunnylagoon]

Take Me to War

PT2 Metaphor

Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader

Where do I pour my love if you take away my pen and paper?

Premise: You are starting to like your annoyingly loud neighbour more than you want to admit.

PT1 Here!

Warnings: Raunchy humour

The gym was busy on this particular day, I absentmindedly judged others for being at the gym at noon on a Saturday like they should have been doing something more interesting with their time until I realized I was at the gym at noon on a Saturday with no other plans for the rest of the day "And she's hot?" Abby asks me while she effortlessly benches something around 170 and I do nothing more than lean on the wall behind her.  

"She's hot," I answer, scrolling through her feed on Instagram like the weird little stalker I was. I hadn't gone full FBI, just looked her up and possibly watched some of her videos "It's kind of cool that I have an internet celebrity living next to me."

"Define cool," Abby props the bar back onto the saddles of the machine and sits up, taking a chug from her water bottle.

"She is cool," I defend "It's not that weird Minecraft roleplay that your grimy cousins watch, it's just like video games and vlogs, that kind of stuff."

Abby looks back at me, sweat drips from her blonde hairline and rests above her brow "How is that even a career?"

I shrug in response "Sponsorships and donations and shit." 

"Why do people throw so much money at streamers?"

"Parasocial relationships, I wrote an article about it last year which you said you read."

She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "You were writing a lot of articles, hard to keep up with."

"Define a lot," I mock Abby's words. I glance at a guy in between the rows of gleaming machines, their metallic frames reflecting the obnoxious glow overhead. He had been using the leg press upside down, his neck hunched over into an almost horrifying posture, his shoulders pressing against the top plate. It might've been the most normal thing I've seen in New York.

"So are you going to ask her out?"

I wrinkle my nose, thinking about it "I met her last week, I just don't think I know her that well." Within the past week that I've met her, I've been crawling out to the fire escape every morning just so her drowsy eyes could peer into my vacant skull and in recent months I had given up on dating, like a spider, I devoured my own heart.

"That's kind of the point of dating," She lays back down on the bench press "Getting to know each other."

"I think I'm too busy to date," I tuck my phone into my pocket, crossing my arms while I watch Abby. I wasn't entirely sure that I was too busy to date but I tended to consume myself entirely and make everything far more complicated than it needed to be. I still perform autopsies on conversations I've had years ago, clinging to every word like I need them to survive.

"Why don't you wanna be happy?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows "You're always getting in your own way, is it a tortured poet type of thing?"

My breath hitches in my throat. How I hate when she's right. The last serious relationship I had was in college and even then I had sabotaged myself, I didn't know where it came from other than a nagging feeling that I wasn't deserving of the love that had been offered up to me on a shining silver platter. "I do I'm-

"Just not ready?" Abby cuts me off, finishing my sentence so perfectly as if it had been words on a script for some boring play about a woman who hates her life and won't do anything about it.

"Yeah," I say, my voice is quiet, she's got me in a box here.

"If you're not ready to date, you might as well be friends with her," She puts the bar back onto the saddles but this time, stands up after completing her reps. "You need to get out and it seems like you get along well."

"I guess," I say and Abby raises an eyebrow "No, you're right, I need to dig myself out of the grave I've dug for myself." What added to my overly apathetic mood was the season, I was so sick of February. It felt like winter had forced mold to grow on my bones to way me down onto the dirty city pavement where careless New Yorkers would gladly stomp over my body.

"How's it going with the family?" Abby is writing something down in her notes which I assume is her number of sets and reps.

"Nothing new," I answer.

She peers at me over her phone, digging for a more solid answer "Are you still sending your parents money?"

"Yes-

"Why?" Her arms dropped to her side, her phone still in one hand "You shouldn't have to play caretaker for two people who don't care about you," As true as it was, it didn't hurt any less to hear it out of my best friend's mouth. 

"It's easier said than done, those are my parents," I'm almost overtaken by a delicate drowsiness from the thoughts of leaving behind the one connection I had to my small-town life. My parents were so careless that I would run around barefoot on the road with the neighbour's kids for hours, narrowly dodging cars that flew past us like it had been a game; everything was a game back then, when I came home to my father's drunkenness, I could hide away in the treehouse and read Harry Potter until the screaming came to a stop.

I was bonded to them like I was to the stray cats who raised me. There was no getting rid of them, we ricocheted between hatred and love like the game of catch I never got to play.  

"I'm sorry," She says though I know it is ingenuine "I shouldn't get in between your family."

Abby didn't know them the same way I did. All she knew was the bloodiness of the relationship that I had cried into her arms, she didn't know how kind the wolves were after they tore me apart. The way my father would cheer for me the loudest at my soccer games and how my mother baked for me after a fight, wasn't the apology that I yearned for but the one that was shoved down my throat.

I dug through my brain to search for a way to change the topic "I saw Owen at the market yesterday and he said he wanted you to call him."

"You're fucking kidding."

My deadline had passed with no issue and I was finally blessing myself with a day where I wasn't chained to my desk. I could finally let my poor bloodshot eyes rest and for once I didn't have to drown them in eyedrops.

I was freshly out of the shower when I heard a knock at my door, Margot yelling at me to answer it. I slipped into a matching pyjama set that Abby gave me on my birthday, hurrying as fast as I could to the door. Margot's consistent screaming did nothing to aid this. 

Ellie was the last person I expected to see on the other side of the door but there she was. I couldn't help the smile that cracked onto my face "Am I the one being loud now?"

She grins at me "No-it's just that my chat has been begging for you to come back all week and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to do a stream with me?"

I looked down at what I was wearing and suddenly felt like the scrouge, all I was missing was a nightcap and a taper candle. "Can I change first?"

"Go ahead but I think this is one of your best looks."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow "You have poor judgement since you've never seen me in anything other than pyjamas."

"We should probably fix that then."

"I guess we should." I smile. I decided against changing, it wasn't like I was going out, just heading to my friend's apartment that was three feet away.

"Say as much or as little as you want," She opens the door to let me in "I owe you big time," Ellie says this like I don't want excuses to spend time for her. Like I haven't been freezing my ass off every day just to talk to her when she watches the city wake up as she prepares to rest her head. 

Ellie's apartment is more lively than the last time I visited, she's adapted some plants that are already beginning to wilt "Have these been getting any sunlight?" 

She furrows her eyebrows "No? They're fake."

"Ellie," I stifle a laugh "I'm like ninety percent sure that fake plants don't wilt."

"Nuh-uh," She walks toward one just rubs its wilting leaf between her thumb and index, it begins to crumble in her hand and she sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "I guess they are real," Ellie pokes a finger into the bone dry soil and wipes the dirt onto her pants "How much do you know about plants?"

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess more than you."

 She nods "Sounds about right," Ellie walks over to her sink to fill a Game of Thrones mug with water before circling back to water her plants "Drink up little buddies."

"looks like you need some sunlight too," I watch her attempt to revive the dying plants and 

"Yeah," She keeps hyper-focused on the plants but she cracks a small grin, I could've sworn her smile burnt down the library of Alexandria "I think I'm turning into a vampire."

"The sparkly kind?"

Ellie shakes her head as she stands back up to put the mug on the kitchen island "Like the guy from Sesame Street."

I wrinkle my nose "Yeah, you're looking kind of purple."

"Damn, I was worried you would notice," She smiles again as she opens the door to her office, the purple LED lights are still running but the overhead light is turned on and washes away the colour.

The second I step into the room, Ellie rushes ahead of me and almost jumps to grab the folding chair. She sits herself down and pats her fancy gaming chair for me to sit in it. "Guys, she came!" 

I stare at her, eyes wide, jaw slack. "Ellie."

"What?"

"Do you hear yourself?"

She takes a minute to think about it before nodding her head, I could see the exact moment it clicked "No, I hear it," She addresses the camera "Not like that guys but I don't know what she did with her day, not our business though."

Ellie looks at me like she's waiting for approval of her chosen words. After a moment's reflection, I answer dryly "Thanks." 

"Sorry for taking so long, I had to water some plants," She watches the chat bar scroll by, squinting before she leans back in her chair, hand running through her hair "No, that's not code for sex."

"Could be," I shrug.

"They wanna know what your name is."

"Top secret."

"Okay," She reads some more comments from the chat "Can you tell them what you do for work?"

"I'm a ghostwriter," I say, giving a little thumbs up. I saw myself in the monitor and wanted to throw my hands at myself for being so awkward.

"Spooky," Ellie smiles "She writes about people instead of interacting with them, that's why she's socially inept." She reaches for her soundboard and presses a button, sounding a prerecorded effect of a crowd cheering and laughing.

"She's never had a girl in her apartment, that's why she can't flirt." I counter as she throws her hands up, I can tell she's about to retort with something before I cut her off "So what were you doing before you kidnapped me?"

"Guys, I didn't kidnap her, she willingly walked in here without the use of excessive force and I have had many a girl in this apartment," Ellie tells the chat before clicking something on her screen "So, they send in videos and we have to not laugh, which isn't hard because they aren't very funny." 

"You're not funny either but they watch you," I tease, Ellie fights a smile trying to uphold our image of back and-forth pocking and prodding at one another.

"Laugh three times and you're out."

"Of the apartment?"

"No, you just laugh three times and you lose."

"What do I get if I don't lose?"

"Fuck, I dunno," She furrows her eyebrows, searching the room for something. Her eyes land on a small silver tin, she snatches it up into the palm of her pale hand and sits back down "You get my dill dough."

"I'm sorry!?" My head snaps to look at her "Are you sure you aren't a cam girl?"

"No," She pauses "No, I mean no it's not what you think, yes," Ellie backtracks again "I mean I am sure I'm not a cam girl, not that that I'm not sure I'm not a cam girl, because I'm not," She looks like she's sure of what she said like it made perfect sense "Not a cam girl."

"You're not-not a cam girl?" I ask, pointing out the double negative "So you are a cam girl?"

"No," Ellie runs a hand down her face "Can you guys please tell her that I'm not a cam girl?"

Dcknb4llz:She's a cam girl

Nataliadepressed:I just subbed to her only fans!

Mclovin_fury26:She just wants to show you her dill dough 😕

Yayayalorde:I wish she was a cam girl 

The3nd_isn3ar:Ellie pls stop joking about it and become a cam girl already 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Ewmarryme:hahaha Ellie ur so funny now get serious and make an onlyfans

"Anyways," Ellie ignores the chat as they clearly aren't helping her case "This is my dill dough," She shows me the small tin she picked up, there's a picture of a pickle on the front. Over the translucent lid, it surely enough says 'Dill Dough! pickle scented'. It was just green silly putty with an oddly incredulous name.

"I weirdly want that," I answer.

"If you win, it's yours." She tucks it away into the pocket of her sweatpants "Mods, let's get this moving."

We sit through about fifteen minutes of videos; mainly people getting hurt, occasionally one of some type of animal. Nothing funny enough to make either of us laugh except for one of a man falling through a glass table which gets a little chuckle out of Ellie who denies it. 

Another video began playing, it was Ellie in this exact spot, screaming during a game of Fortnite. It looks like it's from the first time she showed me her odd job choice. In the distance, you can hear a knock on the door and this is when I'm sure it's from the day I had been thinking of. Ellie pulls her headphones off and looks at her camera "Shit, I think that's my hot neighbour again."

I slap a hand over my mouth and turn to see Ellie who's looking disappointed at her chat, shaking her head at the camera. "Whoever sent that is fake as fuck."

"So you think I'm hot?"

"Pfft, no, dude, you're ugly as fuck," Ellie makes an overexaggerated confused face like she has no idea what I'm talking about "I was talking about my other neighbour."

Kaylnncourting:Ellie y r u fumbling so bad???????

Overdam00n:You guys were right for saying she doesn't get 🐱🐱🐱🐱

Sestwouth:bruh she's ruining it for herself

Connerstollit:WHY DID SHE SAY THAT 

Cruel_summer:What is wrong with Ellie? Genuinely

F0gg4t:If El doesn't want her, I do

Aliinnnnnaaaaa:First girl she's ever met and she's ruining it

Randelwthehandle:Ugly as fuck??????? who says that 😭😭

Dcknb4llz:wow nice cover up Ellie

Marie_739:Bro Im gonna start calling the girls I like ugly as fuck

"Mr. Quigley?" I ask to which Ellie nods immediately "You think the eighty-seven-year-old veteran who is missing a foot and has swallowed four of his teeth is hot?"

"Yeah," She says, immediately regretting the hole she was digging herself into "I have a thing for older men."

"I don't think you have a thing for men at all, actually."

Her eyes go wide, Ellie opens her mouth to say something and she leans forward in her chair so fast that she falls out and smacks her head on the desk, folding over and onto the ground. I have the biggest smile on my face as I reach for her soundboard and press the cheering crowd effect.  I'm laughing too hard to offer her help, clutching my stomach and keeling over so my head is out of frame. Ellie gets up, and puts herself back in the folding chair pointing at the camera "Do not clip that."

Almost seconds after she says that a video gets sent in of her smacking her head on the desk in slow motion while I burst out laughing and now I'm cackling even harder. You can even hear her yelp in slow motion and she sounds like the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park "You guys are way funnier than Ellie," I say, addressing whoever was watching the stream. 

Another video pops on the screen right after the last one ends, it's Ellie again. She screams at something on her computer and you can hear me bang on the wall on the other side. Ellie goes quiet immediately going back to her game and muttering "She's so hot guys."

"I think my mods hate me," Ellie shakes her head.

"Thank you mods!" I smile at the camera.

A little clip of Ellie back at her desk pops up, she's wearing a Garfield shirt. This time she isn't playing anything, she just sits in front of the camera with that familiar lopsided smile "Guys, how do I trick my neighbour into going out with me?"

There's another video, it's a longer one with the caption 'Ellie Williams calling her neighbour hot compilation' Ellie's eyes go wide and she clicks off the video immediately, the camera goes to us full screen. "That's enough of that."

I pull my phone out and type in the caption of the unfinished video into YouTube, it comes up right away and I click on it. Ellie clicks around on her computer, unaware of my viewing until she hears her voice, echoing in low quality from my phone. She reaches for my phone but I pull it closer to myself. 

I'm dead set on finishing the video until something on the other side of the door, catches my eye. It rushes past the small crack in the slightly ajar door and instinctively, I drop my phone with a slight jolt "What the fuck is that?"

Ellie takes this opportunity to snatch my phone and place it face down on the desk, out of my reach. "That's just Kitty." She pushes herself out of the folding chair and steps out of the room. She walks back in carrying what looks to be a mound of cotton balls, looking a little closer, I realize it's a rabbit. He looks more fluff than flesh.

"What the fuck," My mouth falls open in awe "Can I hold it?" She places him in my lap "He just walks around your apartment?"

She nods "He's litter trained so he just kinda hangs out." 

I pet him, he's soft as a million feathers, and he looks like a mascot for a paper towel company "You are the only person I know that would name their bunny Kitty."

Ellie tries to wipe off the mass amounts of rabbit fur on her, it seems the more she tries to get it off, the more firmly it refuses to budge. "This is a good time to show you guys this new shirt that Dina ordered for me," Ellie stands up walking off camera. She has a couple of Amazon boxes stacked on her couch, she reaches into one of them and pulls out a T-shirt. Ellie turns towards the wall so her back is facing me, she pulls her hoodie off over her head.

All I can see is the back of her sports bra but I force my eyes to go wide "Guys, Ellie Williams has a tramp stamp that says cum dumpster," I lie and the chat goes wild and I grab my phone off her desk as she turns around in her Five Nights at Freddie's tee with a 'Seriously?' face. I take a picture of her with the flash on "I'll sell this rare image of Ellie for six hundred dollars on eBay."

Ellie walks back over to the desk with a stack of Amazon boxes "Every donation goes toward my tattoo removal," She jokes, digging around in the boxes. "I'm a little over your videos, you bunch of snitches so I think it's about time I finally open these up." 

I look in the boxes too, leaning over slightly, being very careful of Kitty where he sits in my lap. I see something and pull it out to hand to Ellie "You should try this one."

"World's hottest gummy bear," She reads the package "Why is there only one? What if I want another?" Ellie yanks the gummy bear, squishing it between her fingers. It looks like Red-40 personified. 

Melanie_felony:She's setting her up lmao

Dcknb4llz:Nobody say anything pls I rlly wanna see this

Elliewsidechick:YALL SHES TOO WHITE FOR THIS STOP

She eats the gummy bear in one bite. As she begins to chew it, she seems absolutely unfazed and partially confused about why it was labelled 'World's Hottest Gummy Bear' A moment later she begins to cough, balling her hand up into a fist and pounding on her chest. Ellie's little cough quickly turns into a deep wheeze.

Ellie lets out a scream, her face going red as she slams her hand onto her desk with watering eyes. I could see visible sweat on her face as she dry heaved, it only took thirty seconds until she sprinted out of the room.

"Oh my god," I watch her run out of the room while I give Kitty a little pet between his ears, he's so still I almost think he's taxidermy. "Guys, I think we killed her." You can hear her vaguely screaming and gagging from the kitchen "So what did everyone do today?"

Thelastgreatamericandynasty:wrote a fanfic about you and Ellie

Dcknb4llz:I got jumped at waffle house 

"Yikes, sorry to hear that." I suck a breath through my teeth "Tell me what I should know about Ellie." Her name feels so right on my tongue.

Jesse_chang:She's a virgin

D4aughter_:OMG HI JESSE

A_birthday_card:The only s3x she's ever had was in Minecraft

Whathasshegot:She has a crush on you 

Touching_theyouth:She's lactose intolerant 

Dcknb4llz:She sold me ketamine in an ally 

Gusty_queefqueen:She homophonic 

Torxhmydreams2:Pretty sure that’s two words that have the same pronunciation but different meaning

Gusty_queefqueen:Bruh it means she doesn’t like gay people

Heytheredelilah7:She has a boyfriend

When Ellie comes back she's filled her Game of Thrones mug with milk and has a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese. She reads the chat "Can you guys be cool for once?"

"They're cooler than you."

"Very funny," Ellie eats a handful of mozzarella before she digs back in the boxes "What's next?" There's one box huge envelope that looks like it has a slip of cardboard in it. Ellie tears the corner open with her teeth and rips the rest of the top off with her hands. She pulls the content out of it, throwing the envelope over the computer for it to land on the ground. Just as suspected there was cardboard in it, not just a slip but it unfolded into a cardboard cut out of Ellie, she looked to be a younger teenager in it, giving an awkward little peace sign and showing her green braces off with a huge smile.

"Aww, you actually look cute in that."

She disregards me "Chat, interrogate Dina about this and report back."

"Dina?" I ask "Is that your girlfriend?"

"Nah," Ellie props up the cardboard cut-out and places it behind us, right in the middle to watch over us "She's my enemy as of right now."

"What did she do?"

"Send this shit," She eats some more mozzarella, holding the bag out to offer me some, to which I decline. Ellie shrugs it off and eats another handful, washing it down with a long chug of milk and putting it on the desk. She grabs a t-shirt, he eyes go wide and she pushes it against her chest so I can't see. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, ma'am," I watch a smile spread across her face as she turns the shirt around to show me a graphic of her on it. In the picture, her face is close up to the camera covered in a white powder (presumably flour). "Oh, wow!" I feign shock.

"I know!" She holds it out toward me "It's yours, you deserve it."

"Wow," I draw the word out, taking the shirt from Ellie "This is really great, I was always hoping I would get a shirt of you covered in flour." Sarcasm drips from tone but I accept the gift regardless.

"I know!" Ellie grins brightly "You should put it on now."

"That's fine, I think I'll save it for our date," I tease.

She perks up just the slightest "Ooo, when's that?"

"The second this stream ends."

"On that note," Ellie looks at the camera "Thank you guys for hopping on tonight and thank you to my neighbour who came here without putting up a fuss," Ellie clicks around on the screen a little bit before addressing them again "Alright, go bug Dina now."

With that the stream comes to a close, the blinking light on the camera turns off, and Ellie and I are left alone with ourselves and Kitty.

“So,” Ellie thumps her foot up and down repeatedly like those anxious kids in high school. “Do you maybe wanna get coffee tomorrow?”

“I don’t drink coffee but I’ll pretend to so I have an excuse to hangout with you.”

A smile splits onto Ellie’s face “Phew, I hate coffee I just thought it was an adult way to ask you out.”

A/N: This is super short but I’ll make up for it in the next part, thanks for reading! We got some angst on the way 👀

Perm tag-list: @veeveeisgay @whenlostinthedarkness @gold-dustwomxn @ellslvr

Series tag-list: @diddiqueen @camillecrellin @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @lmaoo-spiderman @camicocom1a @elliessweetheart @melanie-watermelon @lanafresitas

[this-aint-massachusetts]

more FNaF hcs because the tism™️ is telling me to info dump

sorry if some of these are the same as the last one I forget which ones I put before 🙁

-When Mike was chasing after the car he tripped scraped his knee broke his ankle and busted his kneecap and just gave up on life right then and there

-Mike smokes weed but he could take the tiniest tinniest hit of a bong and he’d cough up a lung so he just mainly sticks to blunts or bowls

-Abby has called 911 multiple times because she wanted to contact Vanessa but it obviously didn’t work. 

-Vanessa used to dye her hair fun colors but she can’t anymore cuz of her job but she wears colorful extensions 

-Abby’s therapist has tried so hard to hint at Mike that he should get an autism diagnosis because his sister has one and he still hasn’t picked up on it despite showing clear traits of autism 

-When golden Freddy and Abby left the cab he just handed Cory a piece of paper with ‘one million dollars’ scribbled on it in green crayon. Cory was to scared to say no he just was like “yeah ok sure” and then cried 

-Mike and Abby did not go to Aunt Janes funeral they instead went to Dave and Busters and played arcade games while their entire extended family blew up Mikes Nokia phone

-Aunt Jane was a “wine mom” and was in heavy denial of being an alcoholic 

-Abby really likes bugs and puts them in her pockets but Mike is terrified of bugs so he freaks out whenever he sees them crawling on her or in her laundry 

-Vanessa apologizes to people while arresting them

-The animatronics consider the cupcake to be their puppy and get confused when people think he’s a menace

-One time Doug ran into Mike and Abby at Walmart once and he just threw his thick ass lawyer wallet at then then ran away to have a panic attack. Mike and Abby bought a blow up pool that day

-Doug had to go to therapy due to Aunt Jane being an absolute fucking Karen

-Doug’s now a regular at Sparkys and is besties with Ness, he considers Ness “The son he never had”

-Bonnie kid (Jeremy) really liked Spider-Man

-Vanessa has a pitbull named Princess that she took home from an animal control call. (The dog is a fucking danger to society)

-Abby picked up on some 80s slang from the animatronics and now just says radical to everything 

-Max and her friends would be doing TikTok trends before TikTok was even a thing (stealing soap dispensers from public bathrooms, sticking pennies in electrical sockets ect)

-Vanessa is a Disney adult/hj

-There’s a rubix cube in the pizzeria that the animatronics have been trying to solve since they’ve been dead basically 

-Every night after Abby goes to bed Mike goes to the kitchen and eats shredded cheese by the handful. Abby caught him once and he cried.

-Mike is the type of person to ask those weird questions while watching movies, like: “If their underwater how are they drinking soda?”

-Mike would stuff all his emotions and feelings down till he bursts and it usually results in him locking himself in his room while having a panic attack

-Max was also a weed dealer so Mikes out of a babysitter and a plug. 

-Vanessa hates soda, loves tea tho

-Mike really likes the Care Bears and uses Abby as an excuse for liking it

-Ness uses those really cheesy pet names for Mike, some of them southern originated because I believe in southern Ness solidarity. Ex: Sweetie pie, Sugar, Doe

-Abby is really good at hide and seek but caused Mike a few panic attacks because of how well she hides

-After Freddy’s neither Mike or Abby could sleep without a nightlight so she lent Mike hers on the agreement she could sleep in his room with him. (He of course accepted)

-Mike: Where’s my Diet Coke?

Vanessa: Oh I threw it away, sodas not good for you.

Mike: Oh ok- WHAT.

-Abby still asks Mike to tie her shoes for her even though he already taught her how to tie them herself

-Mike has a very particular morning routine that he has to follow every morning and feels icky if it gets interrupted for any reason 

-Mike is more noise sensitive and Abby is more texture sensitive but Mike still hates certain textures (ex: olives)

-Mike has considered owning chickens and even went with Abby to look at little chicks but she soon started sneezing and feeling sick and that's when they found out she's allergic so that quickly got shut down

-Abby gives her stuffed animals lore and hierarchies and Ness is always asking her about it when her and Mike go into the diner

-Vanessa Has a very minimalist style not because she likes it but because she's scared of getting attached to anything she calls home which at times worries her when she's with Mike, Abby and Ness. This results in her sitting in bed, chewing on her lip thinking of constant escape plans and emergency exits in case her father ever returns, if something bad happens, etc.

-Mike likes seeing Abby draw him and pretends not to notice when she stares and tries to get the color of his shirt just right (he buys clothing in colors she has to make it easier)

-Abby is the type to point out cows and horses and will repeatedly kick Mike's seat even while he's driving until he acknowledges them

-Abby doesn’t understand why her and Mike can’t just print more money to make them rich and Mike has had to explain to to her 12837383838 times

-Ness is a theater kid (yeah if you didn’t see this coming I think you need glasses)

-Ness and Mike play lps with Abby, Abby explains all of her lps lore extensively and Ness listens to every bit of it while Mike is just like: “I love you both but wtf”

-Mike sometimes age regresses sometimes when put under pressure and Ness is literally the best caretaker ever (this one’s based on a Dreamtheory fic I read once and I fell in love with the idea)

-Ness and Mike call each other every night before going to sleep and once Mike forgot so he woke up the next morning to 300+ voicemails from Ness asking if he’s ok

okay that’s all i have for now I’ll post more later when i feel like it oki byeee 😘✌️

[softpine]

i wasn't on tumblr when tlou part 2 dropped but i would love to know your thoughts on the game especially if/how they've changed with time if you're up to writing a paragraph lol

also i've seen a lot of ppl (i've never had a playstation so i have to go off of other ppl's opinions) say that while the story is about how the cycle of revenge is bad that the gameplay still rewards it and how that sort of defeats the purpose of the game for them and wanted to know your thoughts on that

happy tlou season 2 renewal <3

YES YES YES you know i’m always up for writing a paragraph (or ten)

first, let me just clarify one thing: the main message of the game is not “revenge is bad”. i hear people say this constantly and it’s just not true. the real message is all about forgiveness. if i had to boil it down to its essentials, i’d say the message is “love is a stronger force than hate.” but that’s just one interpretation!

i don’t feel that the gameplay rewards the cycle of revenge at all. abby kills joel and in return, she systematically loses everyone she cares about – leah, nick, jordan, nora, manny, yara, mel, and owen... plus she will never be allowed to go home to the WLF again. lev loses his entire family and community too. and they’ve both experienced unspeakable horrors while they were held captive by the rattlers. abby was punished for her decision at literally every turn. but she keeps fighting to survive because she has found a much stronger reason than hate to stay alive: love. protection. family. the first time she ever has a happy dream of her father, after years of nightmares, is when she saves yara and lev. killing joel didn’t give abby closure, but finding something to fight for did. it’s the exact same thing joel found with ellie.

ellie is not rewarded for her actions either. she’s the one picking off the salt lake crew members one by one, but we see her lose a piece of herself each time. she’s not experiencing catharsis, she’s only spiraling deeper into obsession and grief. she can’t appreciate anything good in her life, because she’s still consumed by everything she’s lost. she walks out on her partner, their baby, and their dream home to chase after this elusive “closure”, knowing that she may die trying. i think ellie herself knows that killing abby won’t make her feel better, but the only alternative is forgiving joel and moving on without him, which she doesn’t feel is possible yet. she has to lose everything before she’s able to accept joel for who he is and what he’s done.

it’s a fucking masterpiece the way that the game makes you think joel and ellie’s last conversation was a fight, until they reveal that actually, their last conversation was ellie offering him an olive branch. “i don’t think i can ever forgive you for that. but... i would like to try.” is so impactful because ellie never got the chance to forgive joel while he was alive. even while she was trying to avenge his death, she couldn’t forgive him. it’s only when she has lost herself that she can finally forgive him, and perhaps she can even understand him. that forgiveness has nothing to do with abby or anyone else – it’s all about ellie. it’s about love.

as for my personal opinions about tlou2, they haven’t changed much. i loved it when i played it the first time and i love it even more now!! i greatly appreciate the sheer balls they had, and the fact that they never changed their creative vision to make the game more palatable / marketable. i’ve never seen a game make such an unpopular choice and i respect the fuck out of them for doing it no matter what anyone said. i love joel but i’m glad he died because it gave rise to one of the most impactful stories i’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing 💖

(special mention to the fact that the main character is a lesbian, which is something i would never even think to wish for because it’s so uncommon in games of this genre. ellie is everything i’ve ever wanted from gay rep, meaning that she’s literally just existing as a gay person and her sexuality has hardly anything to do with the plot. i fucking love how she has a detailed story, a rich personality, and complicated relationships while she just happens to be a lesbian. it’s literally perfect, no notes!)

[celiastjamesoscar]

My brother more so begrudgingly agreed to go it was a "If you need someone to go with, I guess I can go with you." which I will take cause I didn't want to go alone. To be honest, he only needed 20 bucks to buy an art print cause he didn't quite have enough and said he'd pay me back at home (which he did) but because I gave him 20 it messed up my plan. I had $50 for 2 art prints (which I bought) then the rest was for a figure on a new line I want to consider collecting, so I was limited to only getting 1. But because I gave him 20, I didn't have enough so I had to use my card therefore after looking at all the figures for probably an hour I couldn't decide and bought 4 (It's still all his fault though!).

The thing with Abby is I loved that portion of the game (I loved the entire game but still) and I was so conflicted because I was hating how much I loved it. I finished the weekend it came out and everyone asked me my thoughts and I just kept saying I don't know, and I think I loved it, but I needed like 2 weeks to processes everything.

A guy I know is buying from another site because their shipping is only $4 but the wait time is longer. But looking at the other statues on their site they're like 400-500 more than on P1 site and on top of all that there's still tax. So, despite whatever the shipping might be for the 2k directly from P1 it's probably (sadly) cheaper still plus they do payment plans and 2k broken down across 13 months or whatever it is, is so much better than all up front. (I just made the last monthly payment on a 1400 statue over the course of 13 months at basically $90 a month and so now I only have the final payment and shipping once the statue is ready to ship which is so much nicer because I only have to pay about 220 instead of 1400 + shipping). I feel the need to say that the only reason I can afford this is because of payment plans, not having a life, and still living at home.

Okay but respect for caving and buying 4!!! I’m someone who definitely does not need a credit card, and I will never take mine to any con in the future. I will put myself in an insane about of debt if I bring it 😭

That’s how I am with that portion of the game! I really enjoyed it and I hated myself for even enjoying playing as her. It’s been several years since it came out, and I still haven’t processed the game and which side I want to be on

The payment plan doesn’t sound bad at all, especially if you are going to have to wait to the statue. Once it’s broken up into several different payments, the price doesn’t sound that bad, at least to me. And I also live at home and don’t have a life! Freeloader for live (I’m scared to live by myself because I freak myself out when I’m home alone)

[chdarling]

Do you like tlou2 ? :)

Ahhh, I have such conflicted feelings about TLOU2. 😩 There are things I love about it! And there are things I…emphatically do not love lol.

Putting this under the cut because I don’t want to spoil anyone who hasn’t played. This is your warning that major spoilers are ahead!

The things I love:

Game design and mechanics - simply so stinking good. The graphics are incredible, obviously but the damn mechanics are just…fun. Like, yeah, the rope mechanics were cool, but even more I loved how expansive they made the world by the ability to break glass and squeeze through cracks — and all the implications of those choices during gameplay. The first time I was hiding under a bed or something and an enemy yanked me out? Blew my mind (and scared the shit out of me).

Likewise, how frickin realistic the game’s Seattle felt sometimes. There was one point during the game when I was wandering around (near the first Scar attack in the park) and I was like “I’ve been here before. I KNOW I’ve been here before.” And after a little I realized I was wandering around post-apocalyptic Pioneer Square. Bananas.

Accessibility - I’m really interested in this stuff so maybe this seems random, but the accessibility features on TLOU2 are next level. I think they won awards for it too? Just an incredible feature that I hope more games adopt and that Naughty Dog continues to improve.

The new characters. Dina, my beloved. Jesse, love of my life. sweet angel Yara. 🥺 And personally, I liked Abby and thought the relationship between her and Lev was one of the strongest parts of the game.

Getting to see how different communities reacted to the outbreak. Really interesting world-building stuff.

Gays

Things I like significantly less:

The plot — okay, I do give them credit for not taking the easy way out. They could’ve just cranked out a basic story and people would’ve eaten it up, but instead they decided to try something daring, alienating a huge portion of their fan base. Props for that! Narratively, the structure was really interesting! As previously stated I liked the Abby stuff! I didn’t even hate that Joel died. What I didn’t like was what they did to Ellie. It was just…..miserable. I get that that was the point, and they had their whole Vengeance Bad! theme, but like…idk a lot of the time it felt to me that the characters were in service to the theme rather than the other way around. Like, the Vengeance Bad! narrative at times felt so on the nose as to be annoying. Like at one point in a throwaway bit of (optional) dialogue Abby talks to another Wolf about reading the Count of Monte Cristo. That’s not an Easter egg, that’s beating your audience over the head with your theme. We get it!!! Vengeance is bad!!!!

And I’m sorry I just didn’t think a lot Ellie’s choices made sense. I couldn’t understand why we (we being me and Ellie) were doing any of this. Why we would risk Dina, why we would leave Dina. Ellie whose biggest fear was ending up alone, essentially choosing to end up alone.

And yeah okay! I get it, we make bad choices for ourselves, the self-defeating cycle of trauma, revenge, etc but like

Look I love gritty depressing stories, I do. But I need just a touch of hope in them. Even if that hope is an entirely destructive love, like in the first game. Joel’s hope was Ellie. Abby got that hope in Lev. What did Ellie get?

These bullet points are no longer structurally useful but final point

The rat king

[memes-saved-me]

I feel like everyone who hated LTOU 2 and Abbie, and more importantly doesn't see how Joel destroyed the Fireflies was actually a bad thing, should go watch Hello Future Me's video essay on thr game and why while he doesn't like the game, he doesn't think it makes it a bad game, and how the game actually deals with humanity's factionalism rather than "revenge if bad."

I don't hate part 2 or Abby. I just think its lazy writing trying to handle topics it couldn't handle. I don't like the fireflies and them falling apart only took 1 man which doesn't say much about them. I have watched multiple video essays over the past almost 3 years and I have played the game. I don't think its a bad game but not as good as people think.

Honestly if the game ended with Ellie on the farm dealing with the trauma and aftermath or even if she had just let Abby go before the final fight I'd be happy with it. But that final moment where she threatens a child to make Abby fight her was horrific and I didn't even look at the screen while playing it. Completely ruined the entire thing because Ellie doing that ruined her for me. I just hate it.

I'm not particularly interested in fighting about part 2 because I did 3 years ago and its exhausting. I liked Abby by the end but making Joel the bad guy when I fully agree with his actions doesn't work. I suggest NakeyJakey's video on it because he isn't in either camp for hate or love and goes into more than just the plot. Like how some people might not care about Joel so the premise of hunting down Abby out of anger doesn't work for everyone and the same for making him a bad guy.

The scars vs the wolves was actually interesting but seriously underdeveloped and only gets into it properly later on which sucks because if part 2 was about Abby and Lev without the revenge shit I'd love it.

I don't love or hate the game I was just disappointed. I knew Joel was going to die and his death was fine. Vedy shock value vibes but everything after that is the problem

[aberooski]

fanfic asks: 22, 30, 49 💫

Oh yay! Thank you for the asks! 💜

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

This is an interesting one because honestly I don't have any specific point in the process where it happens. Titles just kinda find their way to me whenever they want. Sometimes I'm struck with inspiration early on in the writing process or even before I even come up with an idea, but I like the title so much I have to come up with a fic for it, or I'll have a fic completed and be struggling and fighting tooth and nail with my brain to come up with something to call it 🤭 let me pull a few quick examples from my pantheon!

Once Upon A Duelist, that one came super easily to me. Of course that fic being a Sleeping Beauty au, having the play on Once Upon A Dream was pretty simple to think of but I digress, it was an easy one to title.

Sons of The Stars on the other hand, that one I was ruminating and formulating titles for throughout the whole process and getting nowhere for the longest time. Angel's Tears was like that too when I wrote it back in the day. (Tbh in the market for a new title for that one, I used to love it but recently I've liked it a lot less)

And my Final Fantasy XV fic What Goes In. That one was super easy because I took it from a line of dialog that Gladio has in one of the cutscenes that was actually written into the fic.

And Sustained by Hate is the title of a song from Final Fantasy XIII and well the cutscene it plays in in the game is the scene involves a child trying to murder a man because he blames him for his mother's death, so 😬 but the title was very relevant because the only thing keeping Camula's soul together and keeping her from being assimilated into oblivion was her hatred of Jaden and desire for revenge, so she was quite literally sustained by hate. I actually borrowed or was inspired by a lot of titles from that game's songs and story chapters for the chapters in the fic too aksksk

I take a lot of inspiration from songs for both fic titles and chapter titles, ever since I was a kid writing shitty fics in actual physical journals. But I also sometimes just try to think of something relevant from my own brain aksksk

So yeah they just kinda find me whenever they want to, I don't really have any specific point in time where I come up with titles. But that honestly can be the hardest part of the entire process for me if they don't come to me early on in the process.

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

This one's easy actually, I usually wait until the end and go back and do it all at once. Mostly because just about every fic I've written in the last like 5 years has been for the YGOBB so I've been writing on a time crunch for a long time and I'm a slow writer so I never had the time to spend editing as I go. I'd wait until the rough draft was done and turned in and then go back and edit after.

Now I've been going back and even editing and revising those fics again because honestly I don't think I did a very good job the first time. But I'm less horrified when I read my old fics now so that's good 😭

I do find myself going back and editing as I go more now than I used to, especially since I'm stepping back from YGOBB this year and taking a break from that. Love the event, but I think all my fics have suffered from the time crunch and I always burn out having to push myself to pump out my fics so yeah need that break.

But generally I do write a fic all the way out before I'll start editing so I can focus on one thing at a time. Get the foundation first and then build upon it. 👍

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Oh boy this one's actually a very hard question for me 😅

When I think about it I'm kinda tempted to say Sustained by Hate (abby's version)(from the vault)

It's a multi chapter fic which is my forte, it's in universe which I don't often do in my long fics, the concept is entirely plausible with Camula being brought back and wanting revenge for her defeat, it works in a lot of my little touches and portrayals of the characters

Dad Crowler, Hassleberry’s leg being an issue for him a lot, Alexis being protective of Atticus like to the max, Jaden going out of his way to try and protect the squad but specifically Sy, Bastion playing the role of team mom, Chazz and Atty's relationship period, and you even get some of my quirks and inner workings of my mind with Mrs. Rhodes and Mrs. Princeton hanging out on the sidelines

Also the blatant, very thinly veiled Little Mermaid reference of a plotline..... I mean c'mon the chapter is literally called Poor, Unfortunate Soul 😭

I also actually wrote a duel and that was really hard and I'm very proud of myself and everyone should be impressed 😭

Anyways that one is very me, there's so much in that fic that's very authentic to me and I think it's probably the best intro to me and my writing in terms of the long fics.

One shots, Salt In The Wound. No question. Maybe when I go back and edit that one A Friend In Need would be good too, and Traffic Lights is pretty good but again SITW is so authentically me as a Syrus stan/kin who has major beef with Zane.

I'd love to say OUAD, you know I would. But that's my magnum opus man, if that's your introduction you've set the bar pretty damn high 😭

And Sons of The Stars, as much as I demand everyone in the universe read it because I worked harder on that fic than anything I've ever written in my life, that is NOT a starter fic. It's 136k. And a whole ass built from the ground up au. And honestly draws on a lot of stuff in season 3 and there's a couple subtle nods to other works in it so it's not a starter at all. That's one to read after you've read a couple aksksk

So yeah, if you want a quality starter fic, Sustained by Hate is probably the way to go I think.

Angel's Tears or What Goes In wouldn’t be bad either if you wanted to see the progression of my work from high school to now. Even with the revisions I've done to both of those fics in the last couple months, in my opinion you can still tell I originally wrote them when I was like 18 years old.

But I legitimately think Sustained by Hate and Salt In The Wound would probably the best options depending on which length of fics you like to read.

Thanks again for the asks, these are so fun!!

☆ Abby ☆

[skoulsons]

What are your thoughts on TLOU 2? Did you love it or hate it?

Oh boy, rough question. Thank you for it tho :)

As far as my opinion on it, it’s a bit of back and forth. If I’d have played it myself, I think it’d be easier to formulate a strong opinion. I know the bulk of it, but I really haven’t watched Abby’s side of the story, so I don’t know the nitty-gritty of that side of it all. Seraphites, that guy isaac, how she even met lev, whatever else

Joel’s my favorite character in the series, and really one of top ones in entertainment in general. So of course I’m upset he died. That shit haunted me for weeks. I wish he died in a way that protected Ellie. In a way that felt more meaningful, I guess. Sometimes I think that taking a random, throwaway doctor character from the first game and making it the focal point of the events in tlou2 was a last option of ideas ND had for the game. I feel like they killed joel just for shock factor sometimes. I think the constant back and forth of the Ellie/Abby story is a bit tedious and weirdly done sometimes. And I don’t necessarily like or care for Abby either, but I’ll get to that.

The paralleling stories of Abby and Ellie is interesting and well done. Ellie, losing her surrogate family and father in Joel, and eventually losing everyone else until she is completely alone. Abby, losing her father, and also losing everyone else along the way, and finding that surrogate family in lev. I think how Ellie’s grief is shown and showing how much she really is like Joel in how she kills hundreds of people just to get revenge on his behalf.

I think the overall theme of forgiveness in the game is well done. So many people who’ve played it miss out on that. Especially Ellie’s forgiveness towards Joel and how she lets him go. I think I’ve said before (or maybe I haven’t), I think tlou2 is as much a Joel and Ellie story as the first game is. I think tlou1 is heavy on Joel and tlou2 is heavy on Ellie, but the entire reason tlou2 and it’s events even happen is because of their relationship. Because of Joel’s love for her and what he did. And Ellie’s decisions after his death and how the only reason she was out there was to kill Abby to get revenge for Joel. But by the end, she forgives Abby, forgives herself, and forgives and finally lays Joel to rest. And how Abby also seems to forgive Ellie at the end as well. She is the one to say “I don’t want to do this” and just wants to leave. She wants to get out alive with her and lev. She is done with the fighting, but Ellie just couldn’t let it go just yet. Not until seeing Joel, peaceful and playing guitar, and understanding what he’d want did it finally get to her

That was so much longer than I wanted it to be. Overall, it’s an interesting story. I have things I like and things I don’t. But these are my two cents from how I’ve viewed it, but my opinion continues to change on it

[clemsimunch]

*THE LAST OF US PART 1 & 2 SPOILERS*

I got the game when I was 13. I received it for free with the ps3 I had just bought. This was my first non Nintendo console, so I was stepping into an entire new world and gender of games.

Being that young and that inexperienced with shooting games or even realistic games, I didn't get far. I remember being too scared to attack my first clickers and turning off the game.

To this day, it resides on my shelf along with a couple of kingdom hearts games and beyond two souls that I only finished thru letting my friends play it for me.

Now we're in 2023, and everyone on the Internet is talking about the HBO show, so by pure curiosity of all the hype, I decided to watch episodes 1 & 2 with some friends.

I knew the beginning of the game. But revisiting the story now as an adult and confronting the disturbing and frightening sight of the clickers through a mature lense made the experience so much better.

It didn't surprise me that I became obsessed with the game and show, and so, in a very short time, I binged part 1 of the videogame.

The end of part 1 is good, but it leaves you a bit conflicted. What Joel did was morally wrong, but after spending so much time with Ellie and him, you totally understand why he did it. Killing people is never a good action, even if it's to save your daughter. Joel knows this ence why he lies to Ellie about it, but she is smart and knows he is not telling the truth but decides not to question him.

That's how it ends. Them trying to live a normal life in an apocalyptic world. Knowing there's nothing they can do to help.

I didn't want to watch part 2.

Part 1 finished in a satisfying bitter sweet ending with an open ending that led to so many possibilities we could imagine. And I liked to be able to imagine what life Joel and Ellie would live after. How Joel would have to tell her what he did one day and how Ellie would learn to accept his actions and accept that she can't save everyone.

In a way, that's exactly what part 2 did. I just hated the way they did it. (it wasn't poorly done it just broke my heart and stepped on it)

I started part 2 with high hopes and so much love for the father daughter relationship the two main characters had built in the first game. To me that what was the core of the last of us. This found family in the chaos of life.

Of course we can't have nice things.

I had a panick attack as a reaction to Joel's death. The whole scene made me want to throw up, and I was sobbing for hours after the fact.

I had to FORCE myself to continue part 2, and even then, I skipped most of Abbys' story because I couldn't bear it ( I'm weak, ok ). With every memory Joel Ellie presented us with, came the tears of my broken heart.

I'm very sensitive, and when I watch a show, I always feel what the character feels. So I felt like I had gained an amazing father figure, and someone brutally murdered him in front of me to then just remember how the last couple times we interacted weren't the best.

The scene where Joel finally tells Ellie the truth and their very last conversation where Ellie tells him how she doesn't think she'll ever forgive him but she wants to try and you can hear with Joel's broken voice how relieved and happy that made him feel.

Then IT happens, and the rest of the game is Ellie making very questionable choices. I'd even go as far as saying she does way worse than Joel in this game. Joel killed to save his daughter, by necessity. Ellie killed for revenge for her own cause. And that does not lead her to a great path...

Overall, part 1 is a masterpiece, and I have a lot of conflicting feelings about part 2. I dont like how it's just Ellies revenge and not her fighting for a cause or something like they did in the first one (mostly). The second one feels selfish. I guess it makes her human.

Then, there's my brain wanting to find solutions.

1 WISHFULL

Scrap part 2 and just write "they lived happily ever after" after the first part....

2 REASON

The morally right thing that should have been done at the end of part 1 ( not only by Joel but by any other person in that damn hospital ) would have been to wake Ellie up and tell her the situation and let her choose. I'm sure she would have chosen self-sacrifice, and Joel would've been really sad, but he wouldn't kill everyone knowing it was HER choice.

3 LOGIC

Ok, I'm no doctor and I don't claim to be all knowing so if I say anything totally wrong please correct me but, at least in the HBO series, they tell us AGAIN AND AGAIN that nothing can cure the fungus infection. There's no medicine. No vaccine. EXPERTS in the field say so. But then come Ellie, who is immune. I'm gonna take a guess here and say she got a mutated dna gene that made her immune. That's my guess. Then this doctor comes here and tells Marlene he can make a vaccine.... last I check, you can't really alter the gene of an already entirely made person. You can't change your blond hair gene to black etc etc. Soooo how exactly would they have done it ? This is not a bacteria it takes control of you. You can't really fight it. The only "cure" I see is just Ellie passing her genes thru her children. That's how humanity is probably the only way TLOU humanity would survive. Survival of the fittest. Only the ones with the mutated immune gene would survive. Yes, that means you can't heal or prevent the people not immune from getting sick, but that's the whole point.

Again I'm no doctor but my logical brain is convinced of this HC and just thinks Joel's action or Ellie non sacrifice or whatever. There was no cure. There never was they never will be so they should not feels guilty of not "saving the world" I know only Ellie has that issue ( but she is the only one alive in the end sooooo) but I wish she could know that her surviving didn't doom the humans more than they already were.

Overall, TLOU is a beautiful story about what it is to be human in the worst conditions, but I think I'll only watch season 1 for my own mental health. Part 2 did give me 2 fully blown panick attacks, and I dont think I can watch Bella scream at Pedro being beaten to death in HD without going thru another one.

[reiedits1]

The Last Of Us Part II

I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and that’s okay. I’m not here to change anyone’s views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, it’s been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, that’s fine. 

Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS

My Overall Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess I’ll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, it’s a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people. 

Discussion 

From what I’ve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joel’s murderer, Abby. I’ve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as “viOleNcE iS bAd”, but I personally think it’s so much more than that.

The Last Of Us Part II doesn’t just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.

As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellie’s point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. It’s not like you’re supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie. 

However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abby’s point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isn’t what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.

Joel had been through so much, so you may think it’s justified. But the point is, Joel isn’t the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders aren’t just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joel’s death.

There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abby’s friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. It’s not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been “broken”. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking it’s still what she needs. Just as she’s about to murder Abby, she sees it’s completely useless.

Here I’m going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. It’s no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.

Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldn’t break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. It’s all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. That’s my takeaway.

You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is “disrespectful”, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they aren’t invincible, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.

From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I don’t expect a happy ending. You’re not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. You’re not supposed to feel satisfied by it, you’re supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point. 

You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didn’t. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you don’t like his creative vision, then great! You don’t have to. If you don’t like something, just don’t play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesn’t exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as this.

A lot of people blame “bad writing” when they don’t like something. There’s a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasn’t what you wanted, doesn’t mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmann’s writing has accomplished its objective. And I’m not trying to say that everybody who doesn’t like this game didn’t like it because their fanfiction didn’t come true. You cannot like this game solely because you don’t like the direction it took, and that’s fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.

This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didn’t, then great. That’s your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I don’t know. As I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought I’d share mine.

I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and that’s fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, I’m awful at articulating my opinions aha.   

[elvensorceress]

sunrise

(the 5x03 episode coda we all deserve) 

Inspired by @eric-dierr ‘s post

on AO3

There’s finality to the sound of the door shutting behind her, but the weight of more years than he’s ever known her disappears as soon as she does. 

He can breathe again. He can relax. He doesn’t have to play a part. He doesn’t have to fake picture perfect, too-exaggerated-to-be-real happiness. He can finally take his home back. 

The irony of his disaster kitchen is not lost on him. But he starts with a message, because it needs to be said, and he hates the idea of hurting anyone. Least of all hurting someone the way Buck was hurt. 

Done. It’s over.

Is what he sends. And then goes to strip the beds and cycle the laundry and wash his whole fucking house of anything touched by her. It’s only a few minutes before he receives a response. 

it go ok? r u ok? 

He could be better. He could have a clean house and a clean mind and he could simply enjoy curling up with his son and finally spending time with him. Fixing everything has to come first. 

It was fine. Probably. Who knows. You make it home?

Once the sheets are washing, he turns to the kitchen and who does this to someone else’s kitchen and just leaves it? He digs out gallon sized ziplock bags and fills them with the assortment of muffins and other baked goods. He’ll have to make a note to himself to take them to the station on his next shift. At least he won’t have to pretend to like bland, flavorless cooking anymore. 

He checks his phone and it’s been a good ten minutes without a response, so maybe Buck decided to nap or cook or… Oh, god maybe his girlfriend is there. 

At least there’s not much of anything in Eddie’s stomach right now because it twists and he’s nauseous and of all the people Buck had to pick her and it’s just… none of his business but Buck could do so much better. He deserves so much better. Though the idea of Buck with anyone is not something he wants to think about. Not that he wants Buck to be alone forever. He’s been so lonely and Eddie knows he desperately wants to be loved. But no one is ever going to be good enough for him, no one can know him well enough or love him the way he needs, he should be adored and cherished and treated like the most precious thing in existence because he is.

And that’s the most Eddie wants to think about on the subject. 

He starts by unloading the dishwasher and then has to restart by organizing his cupboards back the way the dishes and cups and silverware are supposed to be organized. Halfway through the third cupboard, his phone chimes. 

idk. technically. what r u up to?

He reads it and rereads their whole conversation, and sighs heavily. Buck could take his own advice. But then they’d both be alone again. One of them should at least have something? He starts typing and hesitates and knows his typing must have appeared and notified Buck that he’s working on a response. But. Should he? 

Fuck it. Why not. 

Cleaning up my disaster. Want to come over? 

The response is immediate. 

Yes

It’s another moment where he can finally breathe again. In that case, he unloads the clean dishes into a mostly empty cupboard and tries to tackle the dirty dishes in the sink before Buck shows up and sees the mess made of his kitchen. 

disaster?

Is the next message that pops up on his phone and Eddie contemplates sending a picture, but some things are better left a surprise. 

You’ll see.

It takes him less than fifteen minutes to walk through the door and the kitchen is only partly under control. He hears Christopher excitedly exclaim, “Buck! Buck is home! You’re here!” 

And Buck’s near giddy reply of, “Christopher! You’re also home!” He laughs and Eddie has to see them. 

He grabs a kitchen towel to dry his hands and finds Christopher clutched tightly in Buck’s arms, melting onto his shoulder much like he did at the station a few days ago. They both have their eyes closed tightly, swaying as if there’s joyful music only they can hear. Eddie wonders what it might take for him to hear it as well. 

He swallows hard and can’t look at anything else. 

Christopher lifts up and presses both of his small hands into Buck’s cheeks. “I missed you, kid.” 

Buck laughs again but his eyes look glassy even though there’s something about him that is radiant sunshine after years of being lost in a cold night. “I missed you, too, buddy.” He sets Christopher down but bends to leave a kiss on his forehead. When he looks at Eddie with that glowing sunrise of a smile, Eddie can almost believe in hope and happiness and the future. 

It makes him want to believe real love is still possible. That there is something, someone, in existence who might make his heart want and need and bleed love in every incarnation. 

Buck lets Christopher go back to playing and follows Eddie into the kitchen. Where his expression immediately turns into something horrified. “What in the,” he glances in the direction of the other room, shuts the door and mouths quietly, “Fuck happened here?”

“I told you. Disaster.” Eddie tosses his kitchen towel onto his shoulder and returns to the kitchen sink with soaking cupcake pans. 

“But,” Buck says, supremely distressed. “My kitchen.”

“I’ve been working on it,” Eddie promises. He needs to scrub down and wash away everything. 

 “She wasn’t even here that long. What the hell did she do? Who does this and just leaves someone else’s house like this?”

Eddie shrugs but gives him a smile. He can finally smile. A real smile in his own home. It’s almost strange now, but it’s possible. Then again, it’s always real when Buck is around. “That’s exactly what I thought.”

Buck shakes his head and goes to the cupboards to finish organizing them properly. He knows better where everything is supposed to belong anyway. 

With Buck’s help, it doesn’t take long to reorganize and wipe down the entire kitchen. They put new sheets and blankets on the beds and Eddie does a quick cleaning of the bathrooms while Buck vacuums and tidies the living room. They bring the dried laundry to Christopher’s room to fold and put it away and start a load of all Eddie’s work clothes, and only then does Buck turn to him and put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie tries not to go weak at the touch. It feels like an eternity since they’ve hugged, since they’ve been home, since they’ve been close. 

“Thank you,” Buck says softly.

Eddie looks at him, unsure, uncertain, and longing for something they can never have. “For what?”

Buck bites his lip and tears well in his eyes. “For not being Abby. For being you.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and very lightly rests a hand on Buck’s chest. Over his heart. “Thanks for being you.” 

Buck bends his head and Eddie holds onto him, pulls him closer so Buck’s forehead rests against his own. 

It’s so easy to believe now. He can almost feel it with how they’ve grown together, built this together. There’s something so close it feels inevitable, but he knows it’s something they chose for themselves. 

When they let go, they join Christopher on the sofa and cuddle together closer than they ever have. So close Christopher wriggles out from their tight grasp because they are interrupting game time, okay? Buck looks at him for a moment but curls against Eddie’s side anyway and drifts off as they’re stretched on the couch together. 

His house his clean. His life has a new page, a fresh start, it can be anything. But he knows, no matter what, they’ll have each other and their son. It’s all his heart has ever wanted, and this time, it feels as if they will have it. 

@oneweirdcryptid @ashavahishta @captain-flint @phantomqueenmorrigan @loveyourownsmiilee @oldsouldreamer85 @arrenemris @fleurdebeton @rosefairyirl @holydrogo-n @free-byrd @insaneoldme @oatflatwhite @favouritealias @idealuk @racoonsa @ethicalconflictdiaz

(If anyone would like to be added to my tag list, let me know or go like this post 💕)

[misscrazyfangirl321]

MagNitt: Oh, he's not that bad. // Oh, but he is.

(Have a college au!)

“Oh, he’s not that bad,” Abby says lightly, shoving Kate’s arm.

Kate shoves back. “Oh, but he is.”  

Helen isn’t quite sure who they’re talking about; she’s come up on the end of a conversation, and she has half a mind to let it go. Her stomach is grumbling after her last class, and she’s quite ready to try out the pizza place Abby was telling her about before. 

Curiosity wins out, though, and she clears her throat. “Who is this?”

Kate whirls to face her, expression going serious. “John Druitt,” she tells her, the way someone might say poison or wasps, but gives no further information. 

Abby rolls her eyes. “He’s a senior, and he’s seriously a nice guy once you get to know him.” 

“No way.” Kate crosses her arms. “He’s seriously the most broody, grumpy, scary guy you’ll ever see.” 

“Hm. I don’t believe I’ve met him yet.”

“Trust me, you’d know if you had. He’s like ten feet tall-”

“More like six feet tall,” Abby interrupts, face caught somewhere between amusement and annoyance. “Maybe a little more.” 

“Rude-”

“Actually, every time I’ve talked to him, he’s been super polite. He’s British, like you.” Abby directs the last part at Helen. “He’s usually really quiet, but I think he’s nice.” 

Kate plows on as if Abby hasn’t said a word. “And he dresses like some sort of video game assassin. It’s creepy.” 

“He does wear a lot of black leather,” Abby concedes, “but that doesn’t make him a bad guy. Some people think he’s shy, but I think he just keeps to himself.” 

In the three weeks since Helen has transferred here, she’s learned that Kate will usually give her the more cynical description of things, Abby will give her the more optimistic view, and the truth usually ends up being somewhere in the middle. Making a mental note to keep an eye out for this John Druitt, she changes the subject. 

-

“Stop.” The voice-sharp, deep, and firmly British-is enough to break through Helen’s thoughts. She’s been trying to figure out the logic problem her professor offered the class all day now, and it’s fogging her mind, distracting her from things like homework, people around her, and-

And cars, apparently, she notes as one whizzes by, right where she would have been if the mysterious speaker hadn’t stopped her. As much as she hates being told what to do, apparently she owes this stranger some gratitude. 

She turns to face him, and oh, it’s quite clear that Kate was right about at least one thing: she certainly would have known him if she’d seen him. Helen’s not a short woman, but he towers over her, and his outfit does make him resemble a character from one of those video games Henry is always playing. 

“Apologies,” he says after a beat, offering her a soft smile, “but I’d hate to see a face as stunning as yours forced into the pavement.” 

It takes a few seconds for the words to register, and when they do, her mouth falls open without her permission. Quickly she shuts it again, but-who is this man? She’s no stranger to flirting, by any means, but someone talking like this is something else entirely. 

“I-Thank you.” She refuses to be made speechless by a man she’s just met (even one who looks like him. Even one who just saved her life) after all. “You’re John Druitt, I take it?”

His expression goes from open to guarded in a moment. “And I take it you’ve heard of me. Terrible things, I suppose.” 

“Good and bad,” she admits, but when he only grimaces, she adds, “Abby Corrigan speaks highly of you.”

As quickly as his guard rose, it falls, a warm smile spreading across his face (so bright a smile that for an absurd moment she feels a spark of envy at this wide-eyed Freshman girl, though she quickly brushes that aside). “A lovely girl.” Amusement flickers in his eyes, and he adds, “Young,” with enough emphasis to make her want to sink into the floor. She’s Helen Magnus, not a petty boy-crazed loon. “But lovely.” 

She swallows. “Quite.”

John inclines his head. “You have me at a disadvantage, though, Miss...?”

“Mangus. Helen Magnus.” She actually manages to offer him her hand without even stammering, so that’s... Mortifying that it’s an accomplishment, but alas. 

“Miss Magnus.” And he has the nerve to kiss her hand, which is so absurdly cheesy and cliche that she wants to roll her eyes and shove him away except-

Except-

It may be a cliche in the movies, but she’s never had anyone actually do it before, and it’s enough to steal her breath. Once again, thoroughly mortifying, but there’s little she can do about it. 

“I hope to see you around campus, Miss Magnus.” 

And though she doesn’t say it, she really hopes so too. 

[dissonantdreamer]

I am going to get a lot of hate but I really need to get it out of my chest, I don’t like Joel that much, especially from the first game. That being said, if people like him, I have nothing against them.

To me, especially in part 1, Joel was such an asshole, obnoxious piece of shit, I really had a hard time connecting to him.

And worst of all, he reminded me of someone that I know in real life who I really don’t like and he really left a bad taste in my mouth. Part 1 was one of my favourite games of all time and only because of Ellie. Joel’s death was made to illicit anger from the player and honestly, his death really didn’t affected me that at all but when I saw Ellie entering that room and seeing her so broken, that elicited so much anger from me. It wasn’t until part ll, that I saw a different side of Joel, a more vulnerable, supportive, loving side that I really liked. Playing TLOU2 in its subsequent playthroughs, Joel’s death brought the emotion ND was looking for, I didn’t even need Ellie, tho, Ellie bring there really hits hard, at the same time, I started liking Abby, so, yeah, I was bit conflicted .

Of course, he was not perfect in part ll either, but it really showed me a side of Joel that i , personally, never saw in part 1. Even Joel and Ellie’s relationship was something I had a hard time seeing the appeal of because again, most of the time, he was an asshole to her, it was not once but twice when he wanted to get rid of her. And he told Ellie to repress her feelings and she kept bottling it up and she eventually blew up in part ll, not in health way. I am not saying their relationship was toxic, I am just saying that their relationship is very flawed, it’s not perfect or “ father-daughter relationship goals” people think they are. Because a perfect father-daughter duo won’t lie to her after she confronted him about one of the most important things in her life. Part ll made me really like Joel, so I don’t really understand or agree when people say that Joel was disrespected and blah, blah.

Because as someone who doesn’t like Joel from the original, part ll seriously changed my opinion on him.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. Hope you’re doing well, take care!

Well, said anon. I got thoughts on thoughts on thoughts about this ask and under the cut they go cause there are so many of them and it's a true ramble:

I think it's valid not to like Joel in Part I. He wasn't supposed to be a likeable person. Even the good things he's done has been for his own selfish reasons. He was a good a father as he could be, single and trying his best to be there for his kid while starting he own business, and we get to see that in the beginning through photos and how much Sarah loves him. But he's still human. That's what makes these characters feel real and why this series is so good. They feel real. Joel's world is rocked in a way he never could have expected, his daughter dying in his arms. That changes anyone, and without any sort of therapy, his mental health is going to tank.

Joel is bitter and hurt, he hurt his brother, he became a hunter to survive, hurt innocent people, killed innocent people, tried to kill himself. He's lived a life where he can't answer certain questions Ellie asks. Part II we see that even the worst people we know can be better if they have the chance, the space, and the support, to heal. Jackson was good for Joel, he was a protector to the community and he had time for hobbies, like wood working and teaching guitar. He was able to grow in a way that was taken from him. We see glimpses of that in Part I, finding comics for Ellie, the giraffe scene, teaching her about football, trusting her to cover him, but the final scene shows that he still is a broken man. Ellie was never going to fix that.

Joel and Ellie live in a broken world, their concept of love and trust is twisted by the people they encounter. No one you meet is entirely good or bad, they too are operating in the gray morality that we see throughout the series. It's easier to push forward when you compartmentalize your feelings, easier to cope with what you've done. Those don't go away and both Joel and Ellie have to face that at the end of the game. There is no perfect father. No perfect mother. We place this idea that the adults in our life know what they are doing, but they like us don't know what the fuck to do. They do what they think is best and it isn't always what's best. They hold information back thinking it helps and in the end you took a perfectly good kid and gave it poor mental health. Even parents who are "good" still fuck up. It's trial and error, erring on the side of error. You can only hope what you're doing is the right thing, and you won't know until it's too late to fix.

I can't speak for others, for me Joel and Ellie's relationship was never goals for how a parent and child should be. It was realistic and honest. It reminded me of what my father went through with me, made me see how he tried, and how I would be affected if I ever lost him. It doesn't absolve him of the things he did, in the same way that the way Joel's death affects Ellie doesn't absolve him of what he'd done. It's the forgiveness that willingness to look someone who messed up over and over trying their best, facing their worst, and saying "I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'd like to try." that is the closest to redemption you can give someone. That what happens next is entirely up to you and if you want to fix what you broke.

Joel got what was coming to him, his past isn't erased because Ellie chose to give him a chance. He wasn't disrespected. He's done worst to other people. The tragedy of the story is that we don't get to see them heal. Joel has a chance to do better and Ellie has the choice she never got. That's taken from them at the worst possible time. As much as it hurts, that's how it is in the world. Nothing is promised to last. Which is why you have to do what you think is best every day and hope to all fuck you're doing the right thing.

Your criticisms of Joel shouldn't be met with hate. It's healthy to look at your favorite media and see elements you don't fully agree with and discuss them. Joel isn't perfect. We want him to be, because we're playing as him, and later playing as someone who loved him, flaws and all. Complex characters bring out complex feelings and some people allow themselves to ignore the complexity for the feelings that are easiest to feel. It's easy to attach yourself to a heightened version of a character, we put the wrong people on pedestals all the time. It's human.

No one in the world of The Last of Us can escape the inevitable just because they saved someone or were saved. Same as it is in the real world.

In the end all you can do in the world is try.

thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts anon.

[fantasyinvader]

Okay, back to TLoU2.

My god, the WLF are a mess. The game wants you to feel bad as you slaughter them as Ellie, but these guys are shoot first ask questions later. Hell, I had one begging for her life, was walking away and then she tried to kill me then. Them calling out their friends’ names as I slit their throat and having dogs just feels really weak, especially when they try to attack me with said dogs.

This is a group that ousted FEDRA from Seattle a decade ago, then started going to war with a cult over control of Seattle. They radicalized the cult when they killed it’s leader. These guys also attacked supply convoys back when FEDRA was running the quarentine zone, making it so that the people had less resources and forcing FEDRA to clamp down.  These guys take over, force everyone to join them or killing anyone who disagrees. These guys also have more resources than any other group we’ve seen, allowing their members to watch anime or play video games. Hell, they had a gym and food enough so Abby could build up and maintain her muscular build, with people saying she needed between 3000-4000 calories a day. In a world where the idea of being skinny in order to be attractive is absurd to the youth due to how people are starving, Abby eats about twice as much as someone requires.

These guys also know Abby and her group left for a bit, traveled hundreds of miles to Jackson in order to kill Joel. They even gave her their blessing.

Am I really supposed to feel bad for these guys as Ellie Joels them? These guys have more resources than anyone else, and they’re fighting a fucking turf war. A genocidal turf war, with no problems supporting Abby in her quest for revenge. The first game, you killed to survive or to protect those you cared about. This is an entirely different matter all together.

If anything, the WLF should stand as an example of why the vaccine wouldn’t have instantly made everything sunshine and rainbows. That there was a Heart of Darkness thing going on, showing that without civilization to keep people in check who they really are comes out. Just like how on the night of the outbreak Joel was willing to abandon people on the side of the road to try and save his brother and daughter.

I wonder if Neil even understood what he was writing when I think about stuff like this. For real here, I hate it in the Gundam fandom when fans write protagonists blank checks for morality. “Kira can do whatever he likes because he’s the good guy. Flit should have nuked the Vagans because they weren’t humanized enough for me to care. Doesn’t matter what Tekkadan and McGillis do, Gjallarhorn is so bad that it’s alright.” I really do, but here it feels like there wasn’t thought put into the writing to make it work.

You know, just like how they scrapped Neil’s revenge idea in the first game because people pointed out how nonsensical it was to chase someone down hundreds of miles after the end of the world in the name of vengeance. The very same idea that 2 is based on. Really feels like they needed to tighten Druckmann’s leash.

[yeeyee-alumni]

Ellie’s (lack of a) character arc & why the result is an unsatisfying story

Let’s state the obvious: Ellie does not have a character arc in The Last of Us Part 2. A character arc is defined as a gradual transformation or inner journey of a character in response to changing developments in the story. And you may argue that Ellie from the beginning of the game is not the same as the one at the end of the game, and I would agree with you. She went from a woman consumed by revenge (not really but we will stick with that for now) to a woman able to forgive her aggressor and move on. However, there are problems with this supposed inner change on multiple levels. a) the change is not gradual b) the change comes out of nowhere c) the change is not informed by anything I don’t think there’s any need to thoroughly explain the first statement. Ellie has the same goal from the beginning to the very last second before attaining her goal. At no point in the story is she self-reflective, questions her methods, there’s no moral dilemma for her, no inner conflict, no doubt that causes her to put her own actions into a new perspective and possibly change her motivation. From beginning to end she believes to be 100% justified in her goal to kill Abby. Subsequently, if Ellie were actually consumed by revenge, the only logical conclusion to her story would be for her to eventually drown Abby.

Which neatly leads me to the next point: her change comes out of nowhere. The decision to let Abby go, as is implied by the narrative, is triggered by a random, arbitrary flashback of Joel. First of all, the timing here is outright comical. For what reason is she having this specific flashback at this very moment? Sounds like contrived, convenient bs to me to give the appearance that her decision is informed by something (which it isn’t, and we'll get to that in a moment). Second of all, getting a flashback to the most important person in your life that has been brutally murdered in front of you, seeing an image of what could have been and what was unjustly taken from you, is not gonna inspire you to forgive your aggressor. If anything, it would make you more determined and sadistic. And third of all, I hear you all yelling "but it was a flashback to their conversation about forgiveness and that inspired her to forgive Abby." And I have multiple qualms regarding this line of thinking. Number one, forgiving the person you love most in this world for having lied to you cannot be compared to forgiving the person who brutally took said person from you. This actually further accentuates my previous point, this is the person that robbed you of your opportunity for reconciliation. Implying that Ellie's thought process here is „I wanted to forgive Joel, but this person robbed me of any opportunity to, so I have to forgive her” is muddled, nonsensical and quite frankly unrealistic. And number two, is the implication here that this is the first time Ellie has thought back to that conversation? That’s a whole new level of nonsense. She will have reflected on all moments with Joel, including this one, and yet at no point prior to this moment had she considered even the possibility of forgiveness, as I have illustrated earlier. So why now? Very obviously to get a payoff, which was neither set up nor properly developed. And moving on to my last point: it is not informed by anything. I know a lot of players didn’t want Ellie to kill Abby, and even I felt that way at first, albeit presumably for entirely different reasons (I was so drained and removed from the narrative by that point that I only thought to myself "just go home, you psychos"). But upon reflection, I concluded that that would have been an unsatisfying conclusion narratively speaking. Nevertheless, Abby seems to have grown dear to many players. After all, they have spent several hours with her, they have seen her struggle, overcome her obstacles, fight for what she believes to be right. Their feelings towards Abby are informed by the person they have seen her to be and by the experiences they went through with her. Yet Ellie is missing all of that context. She has not been with us throughout our three days in Seattle, she doesn’t know Abby outside of her having horrifically killed Joel and she has not gained any new information that would lead her to change her opinion about her. And so, we have another example of the story making characters do things that are not informed by anything, for the sake of a poor payoff. And since we're talking about characters acting nonsensically, let's talk about the roughly three minutes leading up to Ellie nearly drowning Abby, shall we? Ellie approaches the beach absolutely determined to find and kill Abby (repeatedly murmuring Abby’s name to herself). Yet when she reaches the pillars, she cuts Abby down, letting her free Lev and follows them to the boats, indicating that Ellie has changed her mind, showing pity/empathy upon seeing Abby a mere shadow of her former self. And yet again, we have Ellie acting in a way she never has before. She didn’t have pity for Nora who was coughing her lungs out, or for Jordan who had advocated for letting her live, or for any other innocent WLF or Seraphite that came in between her and killing Abby. But the one person she holds a grudge against to the point of killing hundreds of innocent people without batting an eye, that is the person she is suddenly capable of feeling pity/empathy for? Is it really that surprising that Ellie's actions here feel forced, uncharacteristic, and illogical? But it actually gets worse. In an additional display of Druckmann not knowing how humans work, we have Ellie putting her backpack with all her gear in the boat, looking at her bloody hand and then remembering "Oh yeah, that's the woman who killed Joel. I almost forgot.” And at this point in my playthrough I was laughing out loud. And so, we have Ellie all of sudden determined to kill Abby again, so much so that she is willing to threaten an innocent child’s life (this by the way was the final nail in the coffin for me, they thoroughly obliterated Ellie’s character throughout the entire game, but this goes against the very core of her being). And we know the rest, they fight, Ellie nearly kills Abby but eventually lets her go. To summarize what happened in the three minutes before our big emotional payoff to our 25 hour-long journey of playing this epitome of misery porn: Ellie has 3 - count them 3!!! - changes of heart. Her motivation does a perfect 180 almost every minute. This is not how people work! That’s lazy, contrived beyond believe, and borderline comical levels of writing, because Druckmann prioritized having a final boss battle on a beach over organic, coherent, and logical storytelling (but I guess it was worth it for the goddamn visuals). However, what’s most infuriating is that there are such easy fixes if one only thinks about it for more than two minutes that could erase nearly all for the major issues I just illustrated while maintaining the plot points of the two fighting on a beach and Ellie letting Abby go. If we have Ellie walk to the beach immediately, finding Abby there untying the boat (Lev nearly passed out in the boat, Ellie not seeing him) and she then attacks Abby, immediately we have erased two of Ellie’s changes of heart, she remains consistent in her goals/motivation, not jumping back and forth between two extremes. The two women fight much like we see it in the game, and then as Ellie is about to finish it, we hear Lev calling out to Abby. And there we have our motivation for Ellie to not kill her. Not because she gets a random, convenient flashback, not because she forgives Abby (Abby has done nothing to earn Ellie’s forgiveness), not because Abby has earned her redemption, but because Ellie cannot find it in her to put an innocent child through the pain Abby has put her through. Because at the end of the day, Ellie’s hatred for Abby does not outweigh her capacity for compassion and empathy for those deserving of it (a core characteristic of hers that was established in the first game). Because Ellie would rather let an individual live that is undeserving of it than cause the same pain she was put through to an innocent child that is undeserving of it. Granted, if we were to go with this ending, we would still have to build towards it properly and therefore would have to tweak the rest of the game, mainly by showing Ellie being self-reflective, merciful towards innocents, and even doubtful about her goals at times to make her final decision informed by prior developments in order to have the character arc actually be a gradual transformation leading to a logical conclusion. I have been a writer for nearly 4 years now, which means I am in no way an expert, or the most creatively talented person around and yet I would argue that this ending would be much more satisfying to most players than the alternative we were presented with. Because as it stands, none of our actions or decisions (and yes that is something important to consider when we are working within the medium of video games), or Ellie’s for that matter, lead up to this conclusion. The conclusion to this story, the final moment, the big emotional payoff hinges on a random flashback, not on any other developments that previously occurred in the story. Subsequently rendering all of the 25 hours entirely pointless, none of it had an influence on the finale, none of it mattered narratively speaking. So, is it even a surprise that many found this to be dissatisfying? I noticed a few people who are fond of Abby accusing people feeling differently of having too much of an emotional bias or even going as far as to say they are less emotionally intelligent. This is problematic for two reasons, a) different people have different reasons for disliking Ellie’s final choice. Some still hate Abby as much as in the beginning, others feel drained and indifferent, and others still feel similarly to how I feel in that it’s mainly narratively dissatisfying. And b) the same story can have a different effect on any amount of people (otherwise, we would have settled the discussion about what the greatest movie all of time is long ago). My point being, that no matter how you feel about this particular story you are 100% justified in feeling this way, and yes that includes people that by the end of the game still hate Abby just as much as they did the moment she bashed Joel’s skull in. That does not necessarily have to be personal bias, more often than not it’s the ability to see through the storytelling techniques used, rendering them mostly ineffective for these people (and I include myself in this). I wanted Ellie to kill Abby not because I was unable to empathize with her or couldn’t see past my own personal bias, but because that would have been the logical, narratively satisfying conclusion to this specific story.