#I had to sketch this out or else it was going to be rotating in my brain endlessly while im trying to work

[averlym]

ghost story premiere day! check @melliotwrites for more info

[fatedroses]

I swear I'm gonna be paranoid for this specific gradient of ourple.

[bellswlw]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ it’s cold here without you ⇨ e. williams

ellie williams x afab!reader

wc: 6k

part 1.5 | part two | masterlist

summary: after Ellie manages to finally get you to pose for her after arriving in Jackson months ago, you two attend the winter dance and it’s then that you realize you might like ellie as more than just a friend…

cw: bff!ellie, mutual pining, jealousy, drug use (weed), alcohol consumption, inexperienced reader, artist!ellie, some fluff, edging (r!receiving kinda), love confessions, making out in semi public space (???) basically grumpy x sunshine, gardener!reader —lmk if there are more tags to add pls—

a/n: this was going to be angsty and sad but then this just happened so enjoy! (please be nice this is my first public wlw post and first fic i’ve been proud of in a minute so pls, pls just don’t be mean. i’ve been so nervous to post this all week help) proofread but there’s probably still some mistakes tbh

From the moment you walked into Jacksons gates, Ellie knew something. Something so small rang in her ears. So much so it almost hurt, it made her want to wince at the sight of you like you were a walking orb of fire and you had just exploded right in front of her.

She knew when you met Shimmer for the first time, she knew in the dining hall, and at the library and the school and the church. Especially at the church. She knew she would never be able to let you go. But she knew she would have to, eventually.

|

You spun slowly around in Ellie’s desk chair, your head resting back as the smoke filled your lungs more and more with each rotation.

“Please. I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone else there.” you say up into the ceiling while you wait for a response. You hear the crackle of weed burning straight through Ellie’s chest before anything else.

Her voice drops a little low when she finally speaks, the smoke falling from her lips like fog rolling over a still lake. “I’m sure Dina will be there. And Jesse. And literally everyone else.” Ellie was stretched out on the futon from across the room, caring less about the stupid winter dance.

You look at her then, a little dizzy and absolutely appalled that she wouldn’t want to go and watch people get drunk and dance to No Scrubs while high out of your minds.

She was never the type for large happy gatherings, but you figured she would go if she got to sit and watch for entertainment.

“Not everyone.” you whispered to yourself with a quick raise of your eyebrow before glancing at your hands quick enough to avoid Ellie's eyes that were suddenly boring into you.

Ellie sat up; the joint now glued to her lips.

“It’s a fuckin’ winter dance. In the Church. C’mon, how fun could it really be?”

You look up. Seeing how her eyes never left your face. Like you were meeting her there, through a dirty window with the reflection of her hazily standing beside you. A window that hasn't been buffed out yet, just a little foggy. Just a little.

“Well, it would be more fun if you went with me. Please. Just for an hour? Then we can come back here and do whatever you wanna do. Even if it's just sitting around. And you can draw me… if you want to.” you added the last part in a hushed tone, like the words were timid to come out.

But you had been secretly hoping she would since you got here.

You loved watching her draw, her fingers tracing over the paper so gently, like it was skin. Almost like it was yours. You wished it was… sometimes.

She looked away from you, drawing in another drag before she rested her elbows on her knees, legs spread wide.

Ellie had been wanting to draw you since the day you got here. The shape of your hips and the slope of your neck had haunted her pages for months. Erasing and sketching them again and again from memory. She wouldn’t let the opportunity pass her up and spit her out.

She sighed, trying to gauge if you had really meant it. Your tell wasn’t working since you were already beat red from just offering yourself up.

“Fine. Let’s just do it now, while we have time to spare.” was what she said instead, swallowing back her excitement and clearing her throat.

Ellie reaches over to you, handing you the joint and gently flexes her hand in your direction to tell you to finish it.

There wasn’t much left, maybe a little more than a roach. You took it from her a little eagerly, wanting the smoke to smooth your lungs and the quickend beat in your chest caused by Ellie’s hand grazing yours.

It didn’t take very long or much for you to feel it. You were such a lightweight.

Ellie of course found it hilarious when she realized. Catching on and laughing at you from across the room when you started giggling at the word “Infectious.”

Maria had said your laugh was “infectious” in the stables and considering the circumstances, it was true. Only, this time Ellie wasn’t immune to it. She had followed suit and ducked her head over her shoulder away from you to collect herself while shimmer groaned in relief.

“It’s just so—“ you cut yourself off, burying your face in your knees while sitting on the floor against the side of Ellie’s bed frame.

The distance was necessary since you had only met a few days prior.

Ellie looked up at you, with her brows pulled together in confusion before she put two and two together.

“Wait. Are you high?” she asked with a chuckle.

The room was clouded with a thin layer of smoke, barely enough to be able to see to the naked eye.

Your eyes had shot open wide, terrified.

“You are! Holy shit, this is good.” her voice carved the words into you then, the goosebumps running through your legs until they reached your core and exploded there with millions of needles with nowhere to go. You were soaked.

Ellie hadn’t laughed that hard in a minute, with her hand flat on her stomach to try and help the coiling feeling deep in her stomach.

“That’s fucking hilarious.” she murmured, her head falling back against the futon before taking a hit so big her cheeks had funneled in.

“Shut up.”

You were bright red with embarrassment and Ellie couldn’t look you in the eye without the image burning into her mind for the next week.

You think back on it now and what took place only a few hours before, letting a dry chuckle fall from your lips and echo into the quiet of the room.

Ellie’s still for a moment, but then joins in and laughs hard enough for her body to jolt with each exhale.

“What?” her tell floats to the surface immediately as she wipes the bow above her lip nervously.

“Do… do you remember that one time–” You stifle back a small laugh with your hand, slightly doubled over in the chair and your other flat against the coffee table for support.

“What?” she asks again, an unsteady smile creeping its way in.

“When… when we were– I can’t!” you confess, letting out a burst of laughter and slowly sliding down onto the floor.

“What?!” Ellie exclaims, a laugh finally falling from her lips while her hands tense out in front of her.

“When we were in the stab… stables. And I met Shimmer? And then I was petting her ears and all of this sudden, she rips absolute ass! Do you remember that?!” you let out a laugh, deeper from within your stomach causing you to hold onto it with both hands as the giggles ate you alive.

Ellie lets the smile on her face break, and then after hearing you kick your feet against the floor she erupts too, leaning over a bit to join in.

“You got so scared!” she exclaims, which only sends you further into a fit of laughter, breathing heavily for a few seconds and then starting right back up again.

“It was… It was so loud! An– and long?!?”

Ellie eventually joins you on the floor, laughing hard enough to where a vein is popping from her neck, just noticeable enough to where if you reached your hand out to touch it, you could even feel her pulse.

She looks over at you, seeing your eyes pinched shut and your smile wider than she’s ever seen it before. It was incredible.

As your laughter subsides, your eyes find their way to Ellie’s. Watching you, of course.

“Oh,” you say with the smallest giggle attached, then letting it fall away to join the burning embers that lifted the hair off your skin.

She smiled at you, fully now with no hesitation. “Can I draw you?” she asked, not looking away once. Her voice became a little rusted, and it chipped on its way out of her throat like a stone on pavement.

You fought the urge to crack. “Sure.” you said instead, and looked away from her quickly just to pull your eyes back to her slightly parted lips.

Ellie’s smile faltered a moment, resting on her side next to you. She didn't want to get up. She wanted to keep this image of you alive inside her head for the rest of her life. She wanted to keep you forever. Obviously she knew she couldn’t. She’d fuck it up sooner or later.

“What?” you ask, gaping at her with so much love plastered on your cheeks it almost looked fake. Too saturated. Too real. Ellie had the urge to swipe the pad of her thumb across it just to see if it would smudge. She knew it wouldn’t. She just wanted an excuse.

Instead, Ellie glanced away –finally– and lifted a hand to the right side of your face, tucking a single strand of hair behind your ear gently. You froze.

“Just um, put this right here.” she whispered.

Her eyes were glued on yours. The beautiful emerald that made your heart freeze in time just jumped into a millions beats per minute with the touch of her hand alone.

Ellie’s hand was still hovering over your jaw, like she was afraid you would fade away if she let you go.

But she had to. She knew that, some part of her had to know that.

Her hand fell back at her side, and Ellie cleared her throat one more time.

“Um, stay just stay how you are. I’ll draw you just like this, yeah?” you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded once and swallowed back the butterflies that had just burst in your stomach.

“Okay.” you could hear the smile in her voice as she got up on her feet in one quick motion, leaving you to stare mindlessly at the door.

You felt like you were posing naked for her somehow, like she had stripped you clean and she would be basing her art off of you. You hated how self conscious you suddenly felt, but selfishly you loved how excited she got.

And just like that, you're burning up again, your cheeks catch the flint and light is bursting from beneath your skin.

You smother it. You act calm, and cool, and not like you are the horniest you've ever been around someone you could never have.

You don’t move a muscle when Ellie sets down pads of paper, jars of brushes, ink, parchment paper, water color, and charcoal all within a minute or two and is sitting down next to you again.

She put her hands to her mouth, unable to keep her excitement hidden. “Okay. Um. Just, uh, yeah just stay exactly how you are. Try not to move. Or laugh.” you can’t help but let the smirk sink into your face before playfully scoffing under your breath.

You followed her instructions word for word. You didn’t move. No matter how badly you had to pee. You wouldn’t move until she was done.

And so far, it felt like you had been posing for what felt like 2 hours based on how many pieces of paper Ellie had already used, and the fact that the water was completely dark with no more room for ink. Or that her fingers were coated in charcoal and it had smudged on her face as she tried relentlessly to keep the stray hair behind her ear.

But you watched her. You watched her hands dance across the paper like skin. Your skin. –on paper anyway– You noticed her tongue dipping in and out of her mouth as she concentrated on capturing the curve of your arm and the texture of your jeans that made you want to crawl out of them.

Ellie couldn't get the images of you on paper fast enough. There were so many. She had to get it absolutely perfect: the slope of your nose, your crooked hairline caused from laying on your side, the delicacy of your fingers as they rested on the curve of your hip. She had to get all of them out right now or else she would have to keep memorizing and sketching and staring.

Secretly, she wanted to keep a few for herself too. To remind herself that you were real, and that she had you at one point. Ellie only had so much ink and charcoal left, but she didn’t care, she would use it all. She would draw you a million times if it meant you would look at her like this just one more time. She would do anything… anything for you. If she just had the chance, she’d take it. Instead of running away to catch the lungs that were sprinting away from her.

But she would try, with all the power and love she's ever had. She would give it all to you, and you wouldn’t even have to ask. Ellie would give it up willingly, she would beg you to take it from her and say “I don't know what to do with it.”

“Hm?” you ask from your position on the floor. “Do with what?” and her eyes flickered towards you.

She forgot you were really there. That you weren’t another dream. That you could see her.

Ellie cleared her throat and her voice broke when she spoke again.

“Um, the drawing. It’s done. I don’t know what to do with it.” she looked at you one last time before you shot up from the floor and sat next to her.

“Can I see it?!” you said, cheery like a child who had just had their picture taken in a cardboard cutout stand.

“Yeah.”

Ellie turned the pad over to you, and just when she thought she hated it you covered your mouth with both hands and let in a sharp inhale.

You were quiet for a moment, and Ellie was still a little worried you saw right through her until you turned to look at her with tears pooling in your eyes.

“Oh, Ellie. Holy shit. This is the best one yet.”

She let herself feel a little proud then, a smile fighting its way onto her face once again. She never knew why she was always fighting it, it would happen nearly every single time.

“That’s just because I made you look so good.” and she nudged you a little.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m serious. It’s beautiful Els.” and you turned away to look back at the drawing before blinking away the tears in your eyes.

There’s a moment there, where the two of you are staring at… you. “No one’s ever drawn me before. It's weird looking at myself like this.” and you then felt Ellie’s eyes burn the side of your face, begging for you to look at her.

You tilt your head slightly, not stripping your eyes away from the page until the very last second.

Ellie was blushing. She was fucking blushing.

She looked away the second your eyes had found hers.

“Here, you can have it.” and she folded the page into your hand and held it there for a beat.

A beat too long.

The glass was clearing up, the fog dissipating into thin air at lightning speed.

You cleared your throat in hopes to silently slice the tension that was building around the two of you.

“Thanks.” you let your eyes fall to your lap. “We should uh, probably get ready.”

Ellie looks away again, patting her thighs as she exhales swiftly. “Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.”

|

“Come on, I don’t wanna be the last one there! It’s already started.”

You leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, actually watching Ellie fix her hair. It was pulled back into a low bun, and the layered pieces kept falling forward, not wanting to swoop back with the rest of it.

“I just, I can’t get this fucking— oh, god dammit!” she exclaimed, letting her hands fly out at her sides and grip the edge of the bathroom counter to take a breath.

“Here, let me help you.”

You took a step off the frame, pulling a pin from your hair and gently stepping up to Ellie to slide the pin into place. You must have accidentally got her scalp because she squeezed one eye shut and let a small wince escape her lips.

“Sorry.” you said, and tapped the pin to make sure it was snug.

You felt Ellie’s eyes on you from the reflection of the mirror. Of course. They were burning into you like the reflection of a magnifying glass.

Ellie’s hands grip harder on the countertop, watching your delicate fingers play with the pin. Collecting strands of her hair and then gently sweeping them behind it as gently as she can so as not to poke you again.

“Thanks.” she says instead, and lets go of the counter with a gentle push. Her hands have a red mark from her grip that when she flexes her hands, she feels her skin pull with resistance.

“Yeah.” you look away, even though you feel the warmth radiating off of her. Sending something through you.

“Okay. Let's go before we’re stuck outside. I heard they are checking for ID." There's a joke somewhere in her voice, but it gets buried by the sudden feeling of your hand twisted in yours.

“Ellie, your hand is freezing.” you say, entirely missing the joke she was trying to make and placing your other hand around hers.

She looked down to see her hand barely covered by both of yours, and she lets the feeling of your skin melt into hers like molten lava.

She was always lighting you on fire. Now, you were warming her up, meeting her halfway.

|

The dance was better than Ellie had expected. The room was full of people in cowboy boots and actually square dancing. Not just in the movies like she thought.

And you were smiling from ear to ear, happy to see so many people laughing and having fun while they still could. So of course Ellie was happy to be there. She fucking lived to see you smile like you were right now.

“I’m gonna get a drink, do you want anything?” Ellie said against your neck, yelling over the music.

“No! I’m gonna dance.” and she nodded, eager to let go of your hand. She didn’t want to lose you in the crowd. She didn’t want to lose you, period. But of course, she would eventually.

Your hand fell from hers as you made your way into the line dance, knocking your feet back and forth on its heel and toe while clapping your hands along to the music that was actually ‘not that bad’.

Ellie’s standing at the bar, a drink in her hand with no intention of actually drinking it. She wasn’t that big a drinker, but she wanted to keep herself busy while trying so hard not to stare at you from across the room.

It wasn't working, obviously.

She was actually glad she came, because she had never seen you this… bright. You were floating across the dancefloor like some kind of angel. She couldn’t place you. Not here anyway. You looked so out of place, with your smile wide and cheeks completely beet red from dancing, it's like you were more saturated than everyone else, like you were literally glowing.

She snaps out of it when she sees you heading over to her, a smile plastered on your face and sweat beading just above your top lip.

“Oh jeez, they weren’t kidding.” you say to her, out of breath and laughing a little.

“Who?” she asks.

“Tommy and Maria. When we were all putting the flyers up they said it would definitely be an owl here.” and you couldn’t keep it together, laughing into your hand and leaning forward into Ellie’s shoulder.

“That… was terrible.” she smirks.

She loved it.

You pull back, flexing your hands out wide at your sides before letting out a short exhale. “No, but seriously. You guys might not party very often, but when you do it gets crazy. I was drowning out there!”

“You seemed to be doing fine to me.” Ellie offered up. She was flushed.

“Oh yeah? You try going out there. It’s not as easy as it looks.” and you tilted your head playfully, emphasizing your point.

She looked down at her glass then, breaking away quick enough to avoid your eyes.

“That’s what I thought. Now, where is the bathroom?”

And Ellie took the smallest sip from her glass just before pointing to her right and bending her wrist the same direction. “Through the doors and on the right.”

You smiled at her, touching her arm with clammy hands. “Hey, dance with me when I come back?” your grasp on her was slipping away, waiting for her answer before letting go completely.

“Yeah. Sure.”

You beamed, completely unable to hide it this time. You thought you maybe didn’t have to, that you would maybe… finally… be able to clean this goddamn window for good.

You call out to her before disappearing, “Oh hey, you were right! Dina’s here!”

The second Ellie registers what you said, suddenly Dina has appeared into thin air and is dancing with someone a few feet away.

And again, a few moments later, Jesse appears from your left, a matching glass in his hand.

“She’s uh… putting on quite the show.” he says, and it's then that she looks up at her, watching as she gets dipped and the music fades out.

“I give you guys two weeks until you're back together.” and she chuckles.

“Not gonna happen.”

She looks away from him briefly, glancing into her drink that’s gone warm.

“She uh, say something to you?” Jesse asks before looking at her again.

“Make it one week.”

While Ellie’s attention is turned towards Jesse, just then Dina comes over and draws it back toward her.

“Ellie, hey!”

Jesse adjusts his posture, standing taller. It’s so obvious he wants her back.

Dina takes the drink from your hand, shooting it back and placing it on the bar behind you with a thud.

“Dina.” he says, lifting his glass, almost like he was offering it up to her.

“Jesse.” is all she says instead, eyeing him slowly.

“C’mon,” she says, and grabs Ellie’s hand.

“Wait, I was gonna–” but it's no use, because Jesse is talking over you from the bar.

“Hey! Don’t forget we're headin’ out early, so get some rest!” and before Ellie can even look back at him all the way, Dina is already talking again.

“Yes sir.”

Ellie is looking down at her feet, trying not to trip over them as Dina continues to pull her farther into the crowd of people.

“You're such a dick.” she murmured.

Dina’s hands fell easily on her shoulders moments after she placed Ellie’s on her waist.

Just then, you came out from the bathroom trying to pick through the crowd to find her, seeing the empty glass and missing spot from the bar.

You make your way over to Jesse, who you were kind of surprised to see there since he wasn’t much of a partier.

You go to ask where Ellie went, if she had somehow missed her walking into the bathroom… but the words die in your throat when you see her smack dead in the middle of the floor, with Dina rubbing her cheek against Ellie’s and a sly smile on her face.

“I hate these things.” Jesse said.

You glance over at him, noticing he was watching Ellie and Dina too.

“Tell me about it.” you say, looking back at Dina.

She has her arm wrapped around Ellie’s neck, a single hand pulling the same strand of hair that has been falling out of place all day.

The same one you pinned. The same girl who had drawn you just 2 hours ago.

The same girl… that was kissing Dina.

She… she kissed her.

Your windows shattered, shards falling to the floor like needles and with the heartbeat that had been run over and sliced clean in half.

You feel yourself wince at the sight, and before you think twice, you're up from the bar and leave through the back.

You fucking blew it.

|

Ellie’s hands were stuffed deep inside her pockets, walking around Jackson like a lost puppy.

She hadn’t seen you since the dance. Which to you both felt like a lot longer.

She looked for you afterward, apologizing to Dina before pulling away from her to ask if anyone had seen where you went, if anyone saw you leave with Jesse and wondering what the fuck just happened.

When you got home, the second you closed the door behind you you couldn't help but let the hot tears stream down your frosted cheeks.

You had tried so hard, so hard to let Ellie see how much of her you liked, and completely obvious you made it seem.

You posed for her. Not naked, but the act still made you think it was worth something. So much so that when you pulled her drawing from your backpocket, slightly smudged from dancing all night and when you had pulled it out on your way home contemplating throwing it away.

You shoved it under your pillow instead, climbing in bed shortly after and rocking yourself to sleep and trying to get the image of Ellie’s lips out of your mind.

Ellie showed up the next morning, knocking on your locked bedroom door.

It had scared her, how raw her voice sounded, and how at the same time it had never sounded softer than when she said “Hey, you in there?”

And when you didn’t reply, you could hear her let out a small sigh before stepping away from the door.

You pulled your covers tight over your head and shut your eyes tight with regret.

Eventually, you realized you had to get up to go to work. It was cold out, but luckily you had gotten to work in the greenhouse since it was a low leveled job and you enjoyed it. Plus the warmth helped too.

The greenhouse door was cracked open by a hair, a dead giveaway you were inside. You still never figured out how to latch it all the way closed, and it seemed to get heavier each time you went to move it.

Ellie pulled her lip to the side, nibbling nervously on the inside of her cheek. She felt so fucking stupid, letting Dina kiss her like that. Letting her dance with her. She was such a fuck up, as per usual.

She was walking around aimlessly, bored, and confused.

She didn't know what to do without you. It was so routine with the two of you.

You would meet Ellie at the stables after her patrol shift was over (which was usually in the mornings) and then you would hang out together at hers. And she would usually find you in the dining hall or the library if you were scheduled there.

But since the dance, she hadn’t known where you were, and it's like she had never been to this version of Jackson without you in it.

She had, years ago, but she could never remember what it was really like. Almost as if it didn’t really exist without you.

And just as she was about to head home, with the sun barely peeking out from behind the clouds, she spotted the multiple greenhouses. With one in particular that had a light striking a clear view of you inside.

Ellie pulled her hands from her pockets, a close lipped smile breaking on her face instantly.

She nudged the door with her body and her head barely visible to you from the other side.

But you felt her there. You didn’t know how, but you could tell she was standing outside the door before you saw her.

“Holy shit it's warm in here. Now I see why you always pick this over patrol.” and she watched as you plucked leaves from the tarragon plant.

“What are you doing?” you asked, not looking at her.

Your hands started to shake mildly, and you tried not to give into her eyes that burned a hole in your heart.

“Looking for you. I Thought I’d find you here.” she said, closing the door all the way (of course she'd be able to) and fumbled with her hands, a little nervous.

“I’m almost done here. I just need to take these clippings and a few other things.” your hands carry a tremble now, and Ellie can see it.

She takes a step closer to you, and it's unavoidable not to look at her now.

“Can we talk about last night?” Ellie asks with her hand flat against the workbench and her brows are pulled together in a frown.

“There's nothing to talk about. I just… I wanted to go home. I didn’t wanna bother you and Dina. you seemed like you were having fun.” as you tied the twine around the clippings, Ellie's hand covered yours on an exploded scale.

You turn your head, looking at her and seeing right through her.

“C’mon. Don’t be like that. Dina… was just being Dina. She didn’t mean anything by it.” Ellie's thumb started to form small circles on your skin, drawing you in, inch by inch.

Ellie took a small step toward you, her other hand reaching up and cooling the burning of your neck.

She leaned in toward you, and her lips grazed yours before kissing you softly. It was wrong, it was so so wrong.

You closed your eyes and a single tear rolled down your cheek fast enough to transfer to Ellie’s.

You pull your hand back from hers, taking a complete step backward and trying to conceal the tears that wanted to run down your cheeks freely.

“Do you like me, Ellie?”

The words had shocked the look off her face, only for her to reposition her brows into a confused glare.

“What?”

“Do you like me.” and there is a quiver in your voice. Her figure becomes blurry, but before she disappears completely you tilt your head and wipe your tears on the sleeve of your shirt.

“I– Yeah. Yeah, I like you. Why would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?”

“Why would Dina?”

Her head drops down between her shoulders as she sighed. She didn’t know. She didn’t. But she knew that she would rather freeze to death than lose you, she knew that much.

She pulled her lips between her teeth “I– I don’t know. I- She- Dina kissed me, okay? And she asked me to dance. I didnt– I wanted to dance with you, I wanted to…” she couldn’t say it.

“What?”

“I wanted to kiss you, alright. I wanted to even before then. Before the dance or before the stables. From the moment you got here I knew. I just didn’t know. I do now, I swear.”

You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to say everything, anything. Your lips were sealed with hot tears streaming down your face.

“Can you say something?” Her voice is merely a whisper like a jagged piece of ice dragging across your skin just light enough to form goosebumps.

You pinch your eyes shut and let your hands shakily wipe the salt water from your face.

“I– I… Ellie. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, this…”

She takes a small step toward you, grabbing a hold of your wrists gently enough for your back to meet the opposite wall of the greenhouse and boxing you in around the floor to ceiling plants that were on either side of you.

“Just, say something, please.” Ellie gave your wrists a little shake, freeing them from your face.

She looked worried now, and the thought of her thinking you didn’t like her sent a strike of sadness through you.

You move your hands fully away from your face and let them fall at your sides, lacing your fingers with Ellie’s slowly. She’s looking down at them, and swinging them softly from side to side.

“I… I liked you too. From the beginning I mean. In the dining hall when you sat next to me. I liked you then, I still do.” you confessed.

You felt the fire in your cheeks and you couldn’t meet Ellie’s eyes and you made way with her chest.

She leaned down an inch to place her forehead together with yours. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You let out a breath, a scoff even. “I tried! I was trying this entire time. And plus, you just said you realized you liked me. I wasn’t sure.”

Her words rang through you. You shook with anticipation.

“Is that why you left last night? Because you were jealous?” and Ellie’s voice rose to a mocking tone, tugging on your hands in a playful manner.

“Shut up. I was not.” and you look away, the smile bolted across your face proudly.

“You were! Say it, say it please! Tell me how jealous you were. C’mon, tell me tell me tell me!”

And it's then that you smash your lips against Ellie’s to meet her halfway with just the very tip of your toes.

Her lips were warm with lust, her hands breaking from yours to find the soft spots behind your ears with a swipe. Ellie exhaled into your mouth immediately and your head met the back wall of the greenhouse with a soft thud.

Her tongue swiped against your bottom lip, begging for entrance that was obviously unnecessary by how quickly you parted your lips for her. She rubbed slow circles over your jaw, and soon enough her hand was traveling down the curve of your hip and squeezing there. Just enough to express a moan from you.

Ellie smirked against your lips, drawing back for a breath before kissing you harder now, not hesitating or double checking for dominance. You were absolutely floored.

Your shirt had ridden up just mere inches, and her hand was met with the small piece of bare flesh there, causing you to let in a sharp inhale through your nose.

Both of Ellie’s hands are playing with the button of your jeans, fighting to get them undone and pulled down just below your pulsing cunt.

Once her hand finally finds the band of your underwear, it's over. You were already completely unfolding right in front of her.

Your mouth falls open, and a moan slips from your lips, a little louder now as you arch your back to be flush with Ellie. She bends back the band of elastic, traveling down to reach the very top of your pussy she can already feel how wet you are for her.

Just then, both of your hands fly to grip her inked forearm. A silent warning.

“Your hand… ‘s cold.” is all you can make out.

Ellie pulls back to take a look at you. You're absolutely flushed. “D’you want me to stop?” It was genuine. She wanted this to be perfect for you. She wanted to get it right.

“I– I want to keep going, but I-” and Ellie uncoiled her hand from beneath your pants to rest it on your hip.

“I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.” she let her arms straighten against you, waiting for you to reply.

“I’m ready. Really. I just don’t really wanna… do it here. It’s kinda dirty. And also probably illegal. And I really do have to take that stuff in.”

Ellie smiled. “You’re cute. Why don’t we take them together, and then, if you want, we can go hang out at mine?”

You looked at her with a tight lipped grin. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

[lady-embers]

"A thing of secret, lovely beauty"

Artist: Kloartz over on IG!

~Gwyn nimbly rolled to her feet, grinning so broadly that Nesta was momentarily taken aback by it. The priestess had been pretty in the library, but with that joy, that confidence as she aimed for the three priestesses, she had emerged into a beauty to rival Merrill or Mor.

~Gwyn’s fingers slid into hers, squeezing tight. Nesta looked up to find her holding Emerie’s free hand as well. Gwyn smiled again, her eyes bright. “Our stories are worth telling.”

~Gwyn let out a high-pitched noise that was nothing but pure excitement. Azriel, on the other side of the ring with the rest of the priestesses, half-turned at the sound, brows high.

~Azriel had winnowed her and Cassian here after training, but hadn’t lingered. Apparently, Gwyn wanted him to go over dagger handling, so he’d left them with a promise to return in an hour.

From the bonus chapter: Which happens inbetween Ch. 58/59 of ACOSF

~His shadows peered over his wings at her.  The young priestess smiled--and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows.

~“Aren't you cold?" His breath clouded in front of him.  Gwyn shrugged. "Once you get moving, you stop noticing it."  He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. He blocked out the bloody memory that fashed, so at odds with the Gwyn he saw before him now. Her head ducked, as if remembering it too. That he'd been the one who'd found her that day at Sangravah. "Happy Solstice," she said, as  much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing.  He snorted. "Are you kicking me out?"  (He's showing concern about her being cold and we have proof from Azriel he was there at Sangravah and Gwyn isn't making things up like the other side tries to say)

~Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he'd spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. "I can't  sleep without my favorite dagger."

"A comfort to every growing child."  Azriel's lips twitched. He refrained from mentioning that he did indeed sleep with a dagger. Many daggers. Including one under his pillow. (Azriel shows more positive emotions with his interaction with Gwyn than seemingly around anyone else)

~How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music.

~She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. "Do you, though?" she pressed. "Sing?" Azriel couldn't help his soft chuckle. "Yes."

~Gwyn tried the movement as slowly as he had, and he watched her  self-correct, fighting against the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She did it three times before she stopped falling into the bad habit. "I blame Cassian for this. He's too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days." Azriel laughed. "I’ll give you that."  Gwyn smiled broadly. "Thank you." Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch.  

~"Happy Solstice," Azriel said before aiming for the archway into the House. "Don't stay out too much longer. You'll freeze."  Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer. (Again, Azriel is showing care/concern over Gwyn possibly being cold/out too long and just look at the wording used here)

How the bonus chapter ends:

Clotho's pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring to her.

Something sparked in Azriel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to  the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it.  

But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. 

A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

These scenes take place after the bonus chapter:

~Cassian glanced over at Az, but his attention was fixed on the young priestess, admiration and quiet encouragement shining from his face."

~The world seemed to pause at the words. As if it had been following one path and now branched off in another direction. In a hundred years, a thousand, this moment would still be etched in his mind. That he would tell his children, his grandchildren, Right then and there. That was when it all changed.

~Azriel went wholly still, as if he, too, had felt the shift. As if he, too, were aware that far larger forces peered into that training ring as Gwyn moved.

~Azriel clapped his hands, and all the females straightened. “You’ll work in groups of three.” Gwyn asked Az, her teal eyes bright, “What do we get if we finish the course?” Az’s shadows danced around him. “Since there’s no chance in hell any of you will finish the course, we didn’t bother to get a prize.” Boos sounded. Gwyn lifted her chin in challenge. “We look forward to proving you wrong.”

~Gwyn threw Azriel a withering stare as she strode past him. “See you tomorrow, Shadowsinger,” she tossed over a shoulder. Az stared after her, brows high with amusement. When he turned back, Nesta grinned. “You have no idea what you just started,” she said. Az angled his head, hazel eyes narrowing as Gwyn reached the archway. “Remember how Gwyn was with the ribbon?” Nesta winked and clapped the shadowsinger on the shoulder. “You’re the new ribbon, Az.”

~“The first had just unbuckled his belt when Azriel arrived.” Silent, unending tears streamed down Gwyn’s face. “Azriel slaughtered all of them within moments. He didn’t hesitate. But I could barely move, and when I tried to get up … He gave me his cloak and wrapped me in it." (Without hesitation, Azriel slaughtered all the soldiers and gave Gwyn his cloak.... similar to Lucien breaking free of his restraints without hesitation to get to Elain and give her his cloak)

After reading all this.... how can you NOT think Gwyn and Azriel are endgame? And this is what you missed on Glee......

[least-carpet]

'replacing jc in someone's affection' I am crying! wwx doesn't do it once but twice! It's fascinating! Also, this makes me understand why some people, reading the novel, come to the conclusion that wwx doesn't care anymore about jc. Yeah, it's a valid interpretation!

Listen, I just rotated, and rotated, and rotated this scenario (—because, like, both child and adult Wei Wuxian are sincerely in need of support and affection, but I think receiving it as a child while it was withheld from someone he loved, what might have seemed like taking it away from someone who also needed it, also contributed to his boundary problems and self-sacrificial tendencies and eventual resentment—like he needs it but it hurts someone he loves deeply when he gets it but he still needs it, how can he reconcile these conflicting truths?? OK I will stop now—) and, uh, have a tiny little sketch of that zhanchengxian fic concept below, with which I will exorcise my sad past chengxian/past zhancheng/current wangxian thoughts.

It was going to be a perfect triple triple drabble but I needed 80 more words in the centre section to describe Jiang Cheng's tears. You know how it is.

Pursued by Lesser Ghosts

At first he was busy and grateful for it.

Then, Jin Ling settled, elders cowed, sect in order, Jiang Cheng was forced to returned to Lotus Pier. Empty, now.

His sect ran as it always did. He slept poorly. He dreamed often. He walked up and down the pier at night, pursued by lesser ghosts, echoes of people who were alive, just gone. His own life closed around him as tight as any noose, one long merciless sequence of work, sleep, work.

He had a minor qi deviation.

“Go back to dual cultivation,” said the doctor.

“That’s no longer possible,” he said.

The doctor looked up. When Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything else, she said, “Well. Come here for acupuncture once a week. Consider visiting Jin Ling.”

Relax, she didn’t bother to say.

Jiang Ping, his one surviving cousin, took tea with him, and said: “I know things have been stressful. Perhaps you would consider marriage now?”

“I didn’t think marriage was relaxing,” said Jiang Cheng, drily.

“It can be. After everything, well… it’s nice to have someone there.” Jiang Ping looked up, thinking. “Having someone there and working a lot. I don’t think it’s possible for Sect Leader to work harder, so you’ll have to try the other thing.”

Jiang Cheng let out a snort despite himself. Jiang Ping grinned at him.

He could get married, he supposed. What was there to prevent him?

He didn’t call for a matchmaker. He worked harder, kept himself so busy he could hardly think, but at night, laying in his bed, he ached with loneliness before sleep. And in sleep, he saw them, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both, invariably walking away from him, hand in hand.

Sometimes he was silent; sometimes he called to them. It didn’t matter. They never turned around.

-

In Wei Wuxian’s dream, it was high summer, air as thick as syrup, and he was lying under the trees along the riverbank with his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap.

Above him, Jiang Cheng was eating tanghulu. Playfully, Wei Wuxian opened his mouth like a baby bird, and Jiang Cheng, rolling his eyes, took a piece of fruit and fed it to him, red and almost glowing. His index finger brushed against Wei Wuxian’s mouth.

Sometimes, he dreamed and he didn’t know whether it was just a dream or a fragment of a memory. He thought this might have happened—he faintly remembered begging Jiang Cheng to let him rest his head in his lap, across his narrow, muscled thighs.

Suddenly it was night, and Jiang Cheng was gone.

“Jiang Cheng?” called Wei Wuxian, and found his voice was a child’s voice, high-pitched and nervous. “Jiang Cheng?”

He rushed through Lotus Pier, now dark and empty, towards Jiang Cheng’s room. Then, in the way of dreams, Jiang Cheng was in front of him, a child again, too, face swollen with tears as he wept alone on the pier.

Wei Wuxian froze, panicked.

Someone picked him up; Uncle Jiang had appeared. But instead of saying anything, he turned and walked away. “Uncle Jiang,” Wei Wuxian whispered, but Jiang Fengmian didn’t respond.

All Wei Wuxian could do was look over Uncle Jiang’s shoulder at Jiang Cheng, at his crumpled, sobbing face. You don’t understand, he thought, suddenly, I love you but I need this, I need it, I need it.

That face changed again, blurred into Jiang Cheng's adult face, still weeping as he knelt on the pier. And then the strong arms around him weren’t Uncle Jiang’s but Lan Zhan’s, holding him tight in a bridal carry, taking him away as he squirmed to look back, to not look away from Jiang Cheng’s face, they had been so happy only a moment ago—

Wei Wuxian woke late, his face wet. Went to look for a handkerchief. Opened a drawer he hadn’t looked in before to find: two purple hair ribbons. An open jar of salve, carved with the insignia of a well-known Yunmeng herbalist. And a lavender handkerchief, embroidered with a little frog. Wei Wuxian traced it gently with his thumb.

-

The day was a little crisp, but bright and beautiful. Lan Wangji had risen at the appointed time, eaten breakfast serenely with the sect, and taught some advanced guqin lessons. Lan Sizhui was coming along beautifully, playing more delicate and precise every day, a delight to teach.

Everything was just as it should be in the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Wangji was still somehow uneasy.

He had gained everything he had dreamed of as a teenager, in one bewildering fell swoop. His life had been overturned, but for the better, the man he had wanted for so long delivered to him on a silver platter. He was unbelievably lucky.

Of course, he grieved what had happened to his brother. Lan Xichen deserved only good things. It was bitter to find out someone you had loved so deeply had deceived you—had failed you—had abandoned you.

But with the exception of that dark spot, the suffering and absence of his brother, his life was everything he had ever asked for, wasn’t it? A pristine life, on the surface.

If there was a dark shadow underneath, the ripple of something passing through a lake on a sunny day—something slipping out of an incautious hand, lost to the water—that too was life, wasn’t it?

He had never been so happy in his life. He had never before been so happy in his life, as he had once imagined it.

He averted his eyes from that shadow.

Until, one day, he returned home, and found Wei Ying, sitting at the room’s low table, holding a handkerchief in one hand. Remnants of a different life that had collected in his home. No—that he had kept. Gripped tightly.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, brightly, face stretched in a brittle smile. “What’s this?”

[squipdop]

HIIIII CAN I ASK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS LATER AU???

Howd they bring up the junior scouts idea to max??? Was he like Whatever sure or super tsundere or surprisingly emotional that they wanted him back after he aged out?? Did anyone else come back or do special day-long visits like how schools bring in visitors? What does max think of the new kids? They all look so cool i love Max's hair!!!!

HI HI HELLO YES OFC!!! :33

Okay so. I call it the '6 years later' AU but technically i have Stuff Planned for all the time that passed between now and then too, so this'll be a bit longer, sorry!!

Max joining the counselor team was actually kind of a natural/gradual development?? Basically, since I can't make CC content that isn't found family Max has a shit home life, and, even if he hates to admit it at first, the three months of summer camp become his bright spot each year. David and Gwen catch on to that, but there isn't much they can do to help outside of camp - until one day Max (age 13/14ish) shows up on Gwen's doorstep because he ran away from home, 'since his parents won't care either way'. While he does return home after hiding out at Gwen's place for a weekend, this kind of kicks off a pattern of Max running away sporadically, to Gwen's, later David's, or his friends places. I could go into more detail here but. this is already long. oop.

ANYWAYS. So with Max spending basically all the time he can away from home and the summers at camp, once he ages out there's. A Bit of panic starting in him once summer gets closer again, because his Safe Place seems inaccessible, and two of his OTHER options, especially for longer stays away from home, would also be unavailable. Gwen and David notice this (it manifests in Max staying over More but Angrier) and try to find a solution. Gwen proposes the Jr Counselor idea. They introduce the idea to Max by kinda implying that workload around camp is a lot, and it'd really hurt to miss one of their most experienced campers, but... maybe, if he worked there too (well, interned. basically unpaid. but! no camp tuition!) he could help them? so they basically give Max a way to say yes without admitting that he's the one who needs camp the most. He does insult the whole thing ofc, and says like he's just doing it because he knows camp would burn down without him there ("actually, most of the fires we had were started by you...?" "shut it, david") but secretly he's really really happy. He might even thank them later that evening. Quietly. Before complaining about it preemptively. <3

WAH THATS ALREADY SUCH A WALL OF TEXT ok ill hurry up w the rest:

While most of the other campers had some rotations over the years, I don't have conk rete plans for most of them - Nikki and Neil are still Max' gang, and returned for multiple summers, if not all. This year though, Neil is busy with college prep, and Nikki is spending the summer at home because of family crisis. They still video call a lot, they're still The Gang. I have sketched designs for them, but I'm not quite happy yet.

Max at first doesn't take his role seriously, because he's basically just Back For Another Summer, but pretty quickly realises Gwen and David DO have expectations, and DO give him responsibilities. He takes a while to come around on his new relationship to the younger kids, and especially one of the youngest kids takes a liking to him, a very anxious young girl, which annoys him at first, but... well. It's a whole ~character arc~ for Max waiting to happen tbh.

OK THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR IM SORRY ITS SO LONG. i wasnt lying when i said i have So Many Thoughts about this. ANYWAYS as thank u for getting this far heres a doodle of Max putting up his hair. :3c

[lico-arts]

Quick update + A little treat!

Hello! I won't be very active during July because of ArtFight and a few illustrations i have planned (on top of my job, send help), so to make up for the upcoming lack of content, here's some insight on how i animate my Twst Chibis :)

(shoutout to the person who sent an ask about this topic! idk if i misclicked or if you took it down yourself, but it made me really happy to be asked and i spent 4 hours writing this as an answer, so i'm posting anyway lol)

Rigging & Animation talk below the cut, feel free to scroll by if you were just here for the update (and have a great day 👋)

I'll be taking Mafuyu as the exemple here, because he's the most complete one i made so far.

Firstly, here's some WIPs i saved showing off his faces and hair bones

Basically i went ahead and made an entire rig for him, since i know i'm eventually going to come back and make him more reactions and outfits. I started from scratch so it took a while, but at least now i have a nice base ready to go!

The original sketch was made on CSP, then the model itself and animation were made on Toon Boom because i haven't learned to use Live 2D yet.

Great thing about that is that it ended up being fully vectorized, which is always a plus if i ever need to resize him.

Here's a zoom (or huh, as close up in as my screen will allow) on all the elements, and their hierarchy. From the left are the elements that show up on top of everything (pearls, hair, head & face), to the ones that are behind everything on the right (cardigan back, braid, shadow):

It's kinda tricky to describe but all elements have their individual pegs (the green bits), which then get linked up additionally and in groups, so for example if i start selecting from the hand and go up, it goes:

Hand -> Hand + Forearm -> Hand + Forearm + Upper arm -> Both Arms + Torso + Head + Hair -> Upper Body + Pelvis + Both Legs

Once the model was done it was onto animating!

No secrets here, i really just tried my best to match the rhythm of how the in-game models move, what movements came back regularly etc... So typically: the heads often bop up and down in a specific way when they laugh or look up, the entire body stretches slightly when they jump or get startled, things like that.

I keep thinking that technically i shouldn't have animated the bangs because the in-game models have pretty limited hair animations, but hhh it felt too important to skip for Mafuyu (and mostly i was just having fun lol).

Just for fun, here's what most of my timeline looks like for the idle animation:

I'm confident that the og animations are fully tweened, so i did that too. But ofc with some adjustments to the timing so it doesn't look stiff. Since everything is on ones I didn't have the patience to go back and modify frames by hand lol.

It was especially tricky to figure out how to make the elbows look good, because of the pattern on his cardigan. I had to redraw the arms like 4 times to have them work in all positions. I spent many minutes looking at in-game models that had checkered sleeves (White Rabbit Deuce ended up being my main reference) to analyse how they made theirs work. I could've bothered making a clipping texture that I could warp to match the movement of the arm but,,, that probably would've killed my motivation entirely, i was determined to make this look good, but not THAT much lmao

The bangs, braid and cardigan were the only elements that i animated with bones and warps, for everything else i just used basic pegs to rotate and stretch the limbs

After that i just threw a Ramshackle themed bg behind him and gifed him up, and Voilà!

Random/fun facts, because why not:

The shoes took me 4 hours to make, because im really not used to drawing with vector tools, all those details made it hell lol

His proportions are mostly based off of Ruggie's model :)

I think that about covers it! I tried going into details without being boring, so hopefully it's still understandable, and maybe even interesting for curious folks 🤞

If you made it all the way here, holy shit thank you!!

[a-crumb-of-whump]

ANB Drabble: Lists Of Praise

A New Beginning Masterlist | Comfortember 2023 Masterlist | @comfortember

~ Comfortember | Day 6: Notes ~

Content: Vampire whumpee, human caretaker, recovery.

-

“Can I ask you something?” 

Despite knowing he was in the room, Carlos jumped at the sound of Ryker’s voice. He peered up from the opposite side of the coffee table and subtly shifted to cover the page of his colouring book with his arms, head slightly tilted. 

“Yes, sir?” 

Ryker tilted his head back with a gentle smile. “I’ve noticed you sometimes taking notes in the back of your books, like you’re doing right now. What are they?” he asked curiously. 

For a moment, Carlos considered trying to come up with a half-baked lie as he glanced down at the dozens of quotes written in smudged pen. He didn’t know why the urge was there. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide. He supposed part of it was the fear of having it used against him if anyone else knew how important his “notes” were to him. 

Though, he knew realistically that Ryker would never do that. Ryker was kind and supportive, often encouraging the things that brought him any sense of joy or entertainment. He’d never confiscated anything from him. Never even threatened to. 

The vampire nervously tapped his pen against the wood on the table a few times before tentatively uncovering his book again. “You can read it if you like,” he whispered as he rotated it until the words were the right way up for Ryker. “I like to write down all the kind things you and Adam say to me so I can look through them on bad days. The books fill up kinda quickly, but I’ll just move on to the new sketchbook that Charlie got me when I’ve got nothing else.” 

Carlos had never really considered the possibility of his little habit making a difference to anyone else, but Ryker looked overjoyed as he read through each and every line. The writing itself was rather small and hard to read, but that didn’t seem to make a difference to the human. 

“You did a wonderful job with breakfast.” 

“You are so fucking smart. How didn’t I think of that?” 

“You’re getting better and better at this game!” 

“That sketch is beautiful.” 

The back page was almost full already after several days of logging any and all praise in it. He had two more colouring books left before he’d move on to his big one, where he’d already started practicing proper sketches. 

Ryker was all smiles when he finally pushed the book back towards him. “How long have you been doing that for?”

“I started a few days after you brought me home,” Carlos whispered. He could practically feel his face flushing bright red. It felt like someone had seen directly into his soul. “I was so scared that you were going to start hurting me, ‘n’ I wanted to remember all the positive things you had to say about me along with the bad stuff as well. That never happened, obviously, but… now I have no desire to give up the habit.” 

He shut his eyes when Ryker reached out to ruffle his hair. “Well, thank you for showing me. I’m glad you were able to find a constructive way to cope with your anxiety.” 

Carlos smiled, a fang poking out. “Me too.”

-

Comfortember 2023 Taglist: @topsheepstudent

ANB Taglist: @choppedflowermuffinchild @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @lumariane @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @some-thrilling-heroics @stabby-nunchucks @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpsday @whumpshaped @paniatheweirdone @whumpycries @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thekittyburger @whumpdreamz

[brooklynisher]

alright im here to ask about spg (feel free to skip questions if you don't know/already answered them/don't feel like it)

moon pies with Little Birdie, ice cream from Ice Cream Man or a quick snack of petrol with Airheart?

there are other space whales beside Jumbo, but he seems to be the only one who talks. do you think he was born with that ability, got it with his job or do other whales just not have anything to say?

also what's the deal with Coinsley. you know anything about Coinsley? (I've just seen one or two photos of him i think)

and this is a free space to bestow your thoughts of dr Babclock upon us since you've been rotating him in your head for quite some time. it can be canon, fanon, actual cannon. go wild :]

1. Ice Cream Man for sure! I mean, if l had to choose who I wanted to eat with I'd probably pick Little Birdie because I'd love to bond with a bird like that. And Little Birdie probably doesn't talk so I don't have to worry about that. But the fact that Ice Cream Man is literally a superhero because of his ice cream. It probably tastes stupid good. Also, icecream cones are basically the only thing I know for sure I can start eating, and then finish eating. I'm a slow eater y all.

2. I like to think it was like a prophecy or something. Only a few select space whales will be granted god-like abilities in their field. And there are multiple types. Jumbo was selected as a guardian, but there are also like, other ones. I can’t think of any but you get the idea

3. Coinsley is Rex's tax attorney. Apparently, he's the reason why Rex isn't in jail for tax evasion, but the only source for that I've seen is on the wiki sO... He's also very attentive to road apples.

4. HEEOAH BOY So, we've got more attention on Taggart, but I've come to notice that laggart has actually gotten attention before!

Back when cosplaying SPG characters here on Tumblr was more popular. But Victor is still left out!! I don't know why! Is it because we know nothing about him?? Maybe. But he is very smart. How else could he be leading the Cavalcadium right now? As for other things, I have yet to color those sketches I did, but when I do, don't be surprised if you see a lot of purple. For some reason I see Taggart wearing a lot of purple in his outfit. As for Victor, I think it's more brown, but with accents of purple. Why? I don't know. My brain lied to me and said I saw a canon design for Taggart and for some reason, it's telling me he wore purple so 🤷🏽‍♀️

[leejeann]

Practicing figure drawing so I can fulfill my dream of becoming an illustrator: Boring, predictable, little bit cheesy

Practicing figure drawing so I can make the bsd stormbringer animation I've had vividly playing rent-free in my head since I was like halfway through the book and heard a song for the first time in years that fit it perfectly: New, fresh, supporting my current source of brainrot

(little ramble about the animation idea below the cut because it's been rotating in my head for MONTHS and I just need someone else to hear it. vague spoilers for bsd stormbringer, but like vague enough it's barely spoilers imo)

The song is Invincible by Ok Go, for any fellow sb fans who want to see my vision lol. It was specifically the pre-chorus (starting with "i'm gonna bet they won't be prepared for-") that made it click in my brain, but then later the second verse also really clicked with it too (see below) and the concept has been rent free ever since. Might end up being more of an animatic but we'll see what my skill level ends up managing lol

ok so imagine the first verse is a combo of just general narration and/or the flags talking to/about Chuuya. "When the finally come to destroy the earth, they'll have to go through you first. Bet they won't be expecting that" just kind of feels like something the flags would say to him tbh. Like not verbatim but the sentiment of it

First pre-chorus is flashing through snippets of everything between Adam showing up at the bar until the first fight in the street. It might start with the confetti thing. I can't decide where to fit that, just that I want to include it lol. Probably ends with the reveal of that car (i know, i know, oof)

The chorus is the fight itself (...idk how to animate a fight but I'll cross that bridge later), ending with a longer shot of redacted holding Chuuya by the neck while everything breaks around them, then on-beat with the chorus ending it's a hard cut between seeing the hand on his neck to the same shot but with Dazai's hand against his back instead and everything immediately stopping, then Chuuya just kind of falling into a void and finally landing on the ground and getting back up just before the second verse starts.

(i really like that part in my head, if you can't tell by how clear of an idea I have for it lol)

First half of the second verse is Shirase talking to Chuuya. "Gonna decimate them like you did to me?" just fits his vibe too well. Then the second half of the verse is Dazai talking to Chuuya because the "will you devastate them deliberately?" line feels like it could be such a snarky Dazai way to make a jab about arahabaki like "So will you devastate them on purpose this time then?" if that makes sense

The last part of the song is still a little fuzzy in my head for how it'll go exactly, but like pre-chorus after the second verse will probably be like flashing through stuff in that lab and leading to the big fight with redacted. Then that chorus being the first part of the fight, the bridge ("so please use your powers for good") being like when they realize they haven't quite won and then Chuuya and Dazai are on the water tower. I think the build-up in that section musically fits the tone of how the scene is also building up, if that makes sense. The last "you're invincible!" after the bridge is like the where Chuuya launches himself off the water tower and/or the moment of Dazai turning around to see Chuuya is no longer behind him on the tower (can't decide which pov would look cooler to see from a narrative standpoint. Maybe I'll say fuck it and spilt-screen for both lmao) and then ya know visuals just kind of pop off until the end of the song/plot

Might have to tweak the timeline a bit because i want it to roughly cover the entire plot of the book. Once I at least get good enough at doing rough figure sketches and have the motivation to do it I'll be able storyboard it and figure that all out. Ok byee thanks for reading my ramblings, hope it made sense~

[sunflowergem]

I got a new one to introduced to y'all

Meet Valora my durge. I know it says storm sorcery but she's actually wild magic sorcerer. Above is obviously from the game and the below ones are what I would imagine. Temple of Bhaal outfit would be pregame(and she gets wings cuz they're cool and I say so). Massive love for Hero Forge because that is such a cool website and service. One day I would love to buy some stuff from there 🤩 Carries the dagger that has the netherstone in her tail when killing.

I will draw her eventually but I do not have the skills or patience right now to try.

So my original concept was to have her be a dragonborn and I themed her off of Ansur thinking it would be kind of cool if they had a descendant. This was before I realized that the bhaal spawn is supposed to be just straight up made from the god flesh. So I started rotating the idea in my mind for a while because I did still want to have the the dragon connection but I don't like deviating that hard from the actual story material. Yesterday I finally thought of a solution.

The durge is like a symbiote but made of Bhaal's flesh. Valora is the name of the dragonborn. The Bhaalblob has hopped enough bodies they forgot their original name, if Bhaal even gave them one. So like in base form they are just a little bloody slug like lump but she can invade freshly killed corpses and take on that person's identity perfectly. This is also how she can kill so easily before the game begins. She will kill someone, hop in the fresh corpse, and walk off. Leaving a complely out of place corpes throwing off investigations. She can then just walk off as the victim and vibe somewhere else as the heat dies down. The dragon born she is in the game was her latest victim, a descendent of Anser and well liked and respected woman that worked managing the bank, Gortash suggested going after her to gain more of a financial foothold in the city. Then Orin did her thing and Valora forgot everything, including that she's a nearly immortal sentient blob of flesh, so she goes through the game much more carefully with this body thinking that she could properly die.

Here are rough sketches I have done of the blob while at work. I'll do a more finalized version once I have a tablet again. I want to make them like semi-transparent but I don't know how to do that properly with pen and paper. Also, this is begging for me to make a gif.

She gains the memories and even takes on some of the personality of the victims that she body snatches. So here's a little bit more on Valora, before she was taken over, as well as some important personality points before being tadpoled.

Valora as just a dragonborn was a bit of an ice queen to be honest. Not like evil but very cold towards their others and very much business-minded. Really loves her job at the bank and math overall since it doesn't involve a lot of feelings™. Despite that, they are actually in a relationship before being taken over by the bhaalblob. She's mated to Klarrvox although it's a rather loveless relationship despite his best efforts. Once being taken over, this relationship starts to change though. Bhaalblob (who I will now refer to as BB just for for simplicity's sake) actually quite enjoys being in different relationships. They have hopped into many a family due to their murder shenanigans to try and experience some of the connection that is missing from how they were spawned. They've taken on the roles of children, fathers, mothers, grandparents, all manner of different lovers, even a pet one time. Each of these different lives that they've experienced before being attacked by Orin lived within their memories and made them pretty sporadic as a result, but also someone very much in love with the idea of life. It was a bit of a warped love though. They loved experiencing it and then seeing what would happen after tragedy strikes. Especially when they could hop into someone else and be an outside observer after the deed is done.

So overall they were pretty content with life before being tadpoled and Klarrvox was quite enjoying his newly affectionate wife. But speaking of lovers, I'm sure you might be wondering what's up with their relationship with Gortash considering how involved he is with durge shenanigans. In short, they really don't care deeply for him. He doesn't have any relationships that would be interesting for them to explore. They work together just fine but they want to keep it strictly. Business related. Gortash however does not! He is highly interested in the body hopping Bhaal spawn. Although I think it's more interesting if he doesn't know exactly how they do it. So he's not fully aware that he's interested in a sentient blood slug. So yeah I think that's about all I've got for them right now. Feel free to ask questions if you like and I will update their tag with more information as it develops.

Also, here's a quick meme for y'all that is also terrible quality.

This is going to be a redeemed durge run when I can finally play again. I don't know if I can handle doing a fully evil playthrough yet.

[dat-soldier]

What's the process for writing a comic? Like, do you write out a whole script for what happens and draw from there or is just a timeline of things that need to happen with a bunch if sketches?

Oh jeez, that was back in 2019, let me recall.

First I started... with scenes in my mind. Like building blocks. The mains scenes of the comic, main plot points, and I would shift them around as new scenes filled in. Once I had the order of the scenes synopsises set, I fully wrote the script for them, enough to have about 200 pages worth? 3 volumes worth. Roughly. Guestimating.

Then I made a discord server for feedback and discussing the project and it really helped stay focused and motivated, sharing some concept sketches. Then I eventually started storyboarding, and once I had a sizeable amount of pages sketched, I moved on with the lines.

Now I gotta say. I don't follow the script I wrote 3 years ago. I follow the general direction of it but it's a lot of improv, as I go with the flow and tone of the pages and I try to put little jokes in it else it would be way too serious and not very funny at all. I'm reaching the end of what I had planned in 2019, but I know everything that comes after so I don't feel the need to write anything down.

I have my entire comic planned all the way to the end, and it's cemented in my head in a way I can play it back like a movie. I'm rotating it in my mind like a rotisserie chicken. I still add to it or remove things as I rethink it over but I'd say the direction of it is pretty solid.

Takeaway is, do what works for you, we all have a system.

[fuzzydreamin]

dropping into your inbox because i'm thinking about al <3

in what ways would you say they've changed the most since you created them? in what ways are they the same?

is there anything new you've recently added to their lore?

what's their relationship with the brotherhood of steel like? how'd they meet reed?

Thank you!!!💖🥰 I shall happily rant about my blorbo under the cut~

Hmmm... Al sort of popped into my brain fairly fully formed - or at least already part-way through the process of getting cooked. I tend to rotate ideas in my head for a bit before I decide if I will keep them or not.

Like, the first time I thought about them was how the presence of the LW in my Fo4 story would impact things, which meant I had to have a fairly good idea of who they would have been before that point - mostly running off the fact that Fo3 throws a lot of crap the players way, and they're pretty young for it all, so that had to have left a lot of scars (physical and mental). I've certainly ironed things out more and fleshed out certain niches of personality and backstory, but not so much that I feel I could specifically point anything out? The broad stuff is pretty much already there, I just have to actually get to writing things down to see how they change from here. (I keep telling myself I need to replay Fo3 at some point so I can take more notes on smaller things or things that could potentially change larger things, but I have a backlog of stuff I want to work on first.)

Mostly I'd say their visual appearance has changed more, but that sits more on my ability to convey it. I've always had at least a rough idea of how they should look, but getting ideas onto a canvas is a whole ordeal, especially since I am not well practised. I need to do more general sketching and working on different face shapes. The character sheet reference I am working on is closer to how I want them to appear, but I don't know yet if I am fully happy with it. It's also the first time I am drawing her from the front, so I'm not sure how well the changes will translate (maybe I should work on a new side shot of her too)? Time will tell. Overall, I feel I have drawn their face too rounded and feminine in the past, and my first drawing of them didn't have the right skin tone. I also still need to work out scars and any other markings, like more tattoos (or any piercings), which is another thing I need to return to Fo3 for as well.

-

Al's relationship with the Brotherhood is definitely complicated. They were brought there by Dr Li after James died and joined up as a way to better protect Dr Li and the other scientists while they completed Project Purity - viewing her fathers death as at least partially her own fault, since she was meant to be the muscle.

They didn't know a lot about the Brotherhood really, and they weren't in a good mental state and didn't think it through very well. If asked, they wouldn't say they agreed with most of the Brotherhood's ideals - they certainly don't follow the codex. Hell, they even work with the Railroad within the Capital when called upon (not super common - they have other people for most jobs - but it happens), so their personal stance within the Commonwealth's faction war turns out the be rather conflicted from that alone (the Brotherhood/Maxson don't know she works with them).

That's all a large part of why she's a Sentinel though. After the events of the main game, with nowhere else to go, Al tried to stick with the Brotherhood for a while but it didn't really work out. Other than the general conflict of ideals, they felt trapped by the routine and mostly staying in one place and listening to orders all day. Owyn saw that they struggled and decided to make them a Sentinel shortly before his death, letting them roam and (mostly) do as they please while still being considered a member of the Brotherhood (This wasn't entirely out of good will alone, since it allowed the Brotherhood to maintain a claim over The Lone Wanderer and still call on her when they needed, rather than forcing her to stick around until she'd likely cut ties and self-exile to get away).

Even still, they have a strong connection to the faction due to them being the only solid foundation for them to fall back on during such a hard time in their life, as well as having close relationships with Owyn, Sarah, Cross, and Arthur. Al can be doggedly loyal to those they care about, and again they don't always think their actions through before taking them - they're a fighter not a diplomat. She is aware that she's like that though, and isn't a total puppet.

-

As for meeting Reed... Well, I've already let @bokatan know I might've begun working on something 👀 Largely inspired by this post. But, I still need to write at least a first draft and then run it by Bo before I feel I can say much more on any of that.

(Also, to add a disclaimer, all Reed/Al stuff is an alternate OC-verse kinda thing, and not part of their actual stories.)

[foxboyclit]

10 for House Nydalla, 13 & 25 for Howl for the OC asks! (modern au house nydalla brainrot to go with my modern au obsession brainrot, mayhaps??)

happy halloween, thanks for the asks!

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

i have been lowkey thinking of a modern au, i dont have anything actually fleshed out other than Nydallas got some Corporate Exec job, they have a very nice expensive penthouse, Iphis is her trophy husband, and in a modern setting Nydalla would totally be a purebred dog owner. she also paid for Iphis' top surgery after they got married

(a tiny addition is due to "Canon" lore reasons, i think Nydalla would be intersex)

also because it's angsty fun, ive been rotating an au in which they did have kids; which either means they left Menzo or smuggled said child out to be raised by someone else. the angst from the latter has been fun to chew on

lastly, @hyenagirlbulge had the galaxy brained 1920s au. there's not much besides an outfit sketch for Nydalla, but they'd both look so good in 20s attire

13. If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

oh god. as much as i want the answer to be yes idk, there's the possibility we wouldn't due to miscommunication/interpretations but also, cats and tea are the likes i passed onto them.

actually i think so, yeah. its my knack to collect parent figure friends combined w Howl's need to care for shitty queer teens

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

probably how their story ended up with them growing and recovering coincidentally as i started to pull myself out of a really low point ("coincidentally" he says)

[zahroreadsthings]

A meeting...

Question: Do you offer a hand?

Response: Yes. No-one else is here to help.

Check notes for previous instalments

You don't know how much help you'll be being new in town yourself, but you can at least direct them to the people on main street.

You only hesitate for a moment before stepping out of the shadows and waving. 'Need a hand?'

A few heads whip around and one of the group stands in front of two of the younger looking ones. You could have planned your approach better.

'Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you,' you say sheepishly. 'Happened to be on a walk.'

A middle aged man steps towards you warily. 'You local?'

'Um. Not very. Been living here the past few weeks.'

Without looking away from you he says, 'Roz?'

A young woman who can't be older than twenty shakes a dimly glowing globe until the light glows stronger.

The man's eyes catch on your cowl. 'Are you a weather witch? I haven't seen you before.'

You touch the cowl self-consciously. 'Yeah. Very new.'

His shoulders relax and he looks over his shoulder. He's met with a few cautious nods. 'Better than nothing. I'm Hakim, and apparently none of us can read a map worth a damn.'

'I could probably -' You stretch your hand out and Hakim gestures for you to join the group.

Another witch with a stone hanging from his belt (a coast witch, you guess) gives you the map and the girl, Roz, holds her globe higher so you can see the page. She drags the toe of her boot through the dust of the road absently and lets bumps rise and fall. Road witch, then.

'Don't think the head road will like that,' a woman around your own age mutters. You can just make out metal rings hanging from her belt - you have no idea what witch she could be.

'What she doesn't know won't hurt her.'

You look at the paper in the globe's light. It's less a map and more a very rough sketch with a few words and stars. You rotate it to try to make sense of it. 'This map is shit.'

'Tell me about it,' the coast witch says.

'Where are you heading?

'An inn called Crow's Nest,' Hakim says from over your shoulder. 'Do you know what the rooms there are like?'

'Never stayed there.' Don't know where it is either, you don't say. You squint at the map and see it's marked with a star near a square you assume is the platform.

You point at the long line running up the map. 'This is main street. To get there you walk up this road, turn left at the second bakery you see and - you know what, I can just walk you there.'

You lead the group through the winding roads and down main street. The few people still on the street follow you with their eyes, but most at least try to be discreet. You can't blame them; it's a weird sight, especially for a place that until recently had three witches. Each witch is carrying their pack and their tools, and some are holding hands so they don't get separated.

You stop to stare at the map just before you reach the platform. The Crow's Nest is just a couple of streets down. You walk your group to the front door.

Hakim claps you on the shoulder and thanks you for helping. You wave the group inside. 'Guess I'll be seeing you all soon.'

They start to file inside one by one.

[bard-llama]

NATLA Drabbles about Artist!Zuko

Read on AO3 here

One

The Avatar had always been a common subject for Zuko to draw – but even then, he would usually rotate through the various human hosts of the Avatar Spirit. But lately, ever since he’d actually found the Avatar, all he seemed to be able to draw was Aang. He’d start out intentionally planning to draw something else – but before he knew it, his fingers would absentmindedly add Aang to the canvas. It was getting to the point of ridiculousness.  With a heavy sigh, Zuko resigned himself to filling in the details of the forest scene that Aang had once again crashed.

Two

Zuko’s preferred medium was an ink brush – but he could admit that occasionally, painting could be fun. Usually he’d go for acrylics, but for whatever reason, the watercolors had called to him today, and Zuko found himself sketching out a scene he remembered vividly. The water of the river was still and silent, the only light coming from the lantern hanging on the back of the boat. Even with that light, he kept the colors muted and dark – all except for the boy on the shore, wearing orange and softly asking if they could’ve been friends in a different world.

Three

Zuko had tried drawing with a lot of different mediums. He felt like his ink brush gave him the most control and was closest to how he imagined each sketch – but sometimes, he needed the roughness of charcoal.  His movements were quick as he furiously scribbled until the Avatar’s current incarnation stared up at him.  Zuko swallowed, too aware of his breathing as he studied the picture. The frantic anxiety pounding through his bloodstream had not yet been satisfied, so he pulled another sheet towards him. The charcoal stained his fingers as eyes began to emerge – eyes that haunted him.

Four

“Have you ever drawn me?” Aang asked, thinking about the beautiful depictions of the other Avatars from Zuko’s notebook. It was dark in the cabin they were stuck hiding in until the soldiers outside cleared out, but even so, Aang could clearly see the blush that spread across Zuko’s face. It made him grin. “Is that a yes?” Zuko shifted, avoiding his gaze. Literal tendrils of steam rose off of his red ears, and honestly, it was kind of adorable.  “Can I see?” Aang asked, amused.  “Not like I brought it with me,” Zuko mumbled, still not looking at him.