#I had to nerd out about it

[tree-dragon]

Fiddlestick Analysis

Disclaimer: I know like nothing about league of legends. My friend sent me Fiddlestick’s song and I listened to it almost exclusively for weeks and couldn’t help analyzing it based on the very very little I know.

Atmosphere

     The entirety of the music from the background to the foreground is meant to instill a certain fear into you.

     Right from the beginning the song is introduced with a vibrating violin, which typically signifies some hair-raising anxiety. Throughout the song it remains in the background, ebbing and flowing to create an atmosphere as if to say there is something out there. You may not know what it is or have some definitive reasoning on why you think there is something, but it is there. That something is, of course, Fiddlesticks.

     To continue with the atmosphere, the notes themselves are off beat. Not in that they are on the 1 and 3 count of a 4 count beat, but as in they are either on the forefront or backfoot of the beat we are typically used to. Still technically hitting the timing, but dragging or pushing the time to give a sense of urgency and dread. The only time the foreground music does not give this sense is when the kid is singing since they have yet to take this fear to heart. 

     At the turning point of the song, all music stops for a beat. Almost every horror movie holds a suddenly silent moment in anticipation of what is to come. The song plays right into this gives an abrupt stop after building anticipation and tension with the lyrics. But even the silence only lasts for a moment. Ever so faintly there are descending screeching high notes like something is stepping ever so closer to you until it leaps in a crash of music.

     After the turning point is when Fiddlesticks is actually present. I am unsure of the instrument but there is the growling of Fiddlesticks directly in your ear as they hunt and trap you in its fear. 

Lyrics

     This entire song is a Mother trying to teach her child about the danger of Fiddlesticks, maybe from a past experience or some other person’s encounter. She begins telling her child the warning signs, trying to prompt them to repeat back what she has told them many times in the past, and in fact, they do join her as she drops off to prompt the child into continuing on their own. She begins the first lines in the differing sections (after a repeated set of words) and eventually the child joins in. The repeat differs. The first one the child sings the last line by themselves as if the mother wants them to know the signs by heart, making sure they know it without her continuing. The second repeat the mother continues by herself. She is begging her child to hide. The crows of Fiddlestick are already in the sky and it is too dangerous for anyone to be out, so the best bet is to hide. She even pauses after “Hide” as if bracing herself to continue and gives a gasping “now” to finish.

     Breaking up the verses, the mother and child to a humming back and forth. The mother is literally showing the child one way to stay calm, to calm their fears so the literal fear demon couldn’t feed off of them. 

     Eventually the child gets the lyrics in the second verse. This is probably after numerous repeats from the mother. The mother even reaffirms the child’s “Stay down” on the repeat with a minor lilt in her voice with unusual pausing suggesting she knows she cannot do anything else to save her child except for this warning. 

     The child continues with minimal input from the mother, who even when also singing, is the harmony and is fainter than in previous points suggesting the child is only remembering her voice. This is supported by how the child continues to hum along with the increase in chilling music following them. They are walking along alone, trying to keep the fear at bay with the little hum their mother taught them as Fiddlesticks stalks them.

The Tornado

     The song describes a tornado dead on except for the crows (which, sidenote, are incredible mimics. Like dead on mimics hence why Fiddlestick is an incredibly good mimic).

     “When fields lie calm and wind stands still” - tornado sign: a complete stillness before or after a thunderstorm.

     “As crows make night of the fading sun” - tornados happen typically during some storm. Good luck seeing the sun then, biotch.

     “When the trees do bow, as if they weep” - Tornado winds go woosh real hard. Trees are resilient mofos. Ever see one in a tornado or hurricane? They be parellel to the ground and survive just fine.

     “Through its light beacons forth” - tornado sign is the sky changing color.

     “A melody calls out” - Not really a melody but a dang freight train sound is typical with a tornado.

[gravitycoill]

lil comic i’ve had in my head for a bit

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lap Pillow

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ianthedebonair]

What would Wei say? (🔞choices below the cut)

➡️"So can you make multiple copies of me here?"

➡️"How about you make a bunch of other Damiens?"

*Links above lead to gratuitous, self-indulgent smut. Definitely not safe for work.

Behold, the fruit of the bashful Chen poll. It was meant to be a single pinup-like illustration, but one thing led to another (and with valuable inspiration from @ladyshivs and @extreme-neutral), it ended up as another choose your own smut 😌😌.

(Also, reblogs are disabled on the linked posts. So, if you’re planning to, reblog this one instead 🫣)

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

I love this AU so much but I do have to ask, where is Howard? How does he feel about Randy hanging out and going on missions with other heroes?

... ok but this is a bit of a complicated answer, considering...

In Present (Comic) Time, Howard is currently, uh indisposed? 😰

But lol, yeah I get what you mean, so let's just answer in general: Howard is Randy's best friend and he will be by his side as soon as current Randy 'problem' gets resolved. But Howard is also not as into the hero stuff as much as Randy, and that's what I like about him.

Howard would not be eager to go on missions like Randy, and while yes it will probably be a cause for some jealousy that Randy's gonna hang out with other heroes - you have to keep in mind that in HoM AU they are both a bit older, so the jealousy will be much more managable. Because at the end of the day, they are still best friends, no matter how many new cool friends either of them meet.

Not to mention, who is to say that Howard won't hang out with them as well?? xD (I just never drew it, because uuuuh plot reasons) Also not to mention the other characters that are in the same best friends/support role for other heroes! He will totally call them losers, but will still eagerly join their super secret chat group so he can share/learn some funny dirt about their respective hero friends. xD

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon (later suri laran, after her marriage). her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, but most of her life for like. the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[alluralater]

i don’t play dnd but people have told me i’d be a really good gm. here’s the thing though, i wanna do it like in a hot way. your fantasy character is about to get stretched around a ghost dick. roll 7 or higher to cum. is that dnd?? obviously i’d have an amazing adventure set up with good stakes and awesome reward but i’d be unfortunately super sexual about it. would i still be respected if i made the ghost woman creampie the player? what if they lost and the other players could roll to join?? sexy lesbian dnd nerds please respond and tell me if this is disrespectful to your culture okay thanks

[notfreetoday]

My Personal Weatherman Ep 1 Subtitle Corrections

So I've been analysing the way MPW uses language to showcase the dynamic between Segasaki and Yoh - something that I suspect is not quite coming through with the English subs - and decided to watch Ep 1-3 again, with Eng subs this time. I am now going to complain about some of the subtitle and translation choices and edit them way too literally because I'm nerdy like that.

Disclaimer: Everyone translates differently for different audiences. This is not meant to disrespect the official translation team in any way because they are subbing for a more general audience and have different pressures, so don't come at me or them for our different priorities. I'm talking to the particular group of viewers who like this show and/or like Japanese and want to go a step further in interacting with the characters. That said, I'm happy to discuss MY translation choices so please feel free to drop in about any line.

Under cut because this GOT REALLY LONG.

I'm translating directly from the Jp, so sometimes my subs differ only slightly - I will lean towards a more literal translation here because that will allow me to explain my language analysis better in a follow up post so some phrasing may be awkward. Big changes/missing info have been italicised and bolded. Explanations of nuances/connotations have been added where I feel they add to the understanding of the character/scene, and the relevant phrase is marked with * in my translation and the Jp.

Ep 1

[S: だから、漫画つずけりゃいいじゃんって　衣食住の金は保証してやるから　おれんとこに来い。んで、その代わり　*俺の言うこと全部聞け]

Original: I said, just keep drawing manga. I’ll take care of your food and lodging *expenses, so come to my place. And in return, you’ll do everything I say.

Mine: I said, *it's fine (for you) to continue (being a) manga (artist). I'll take care of the expenses for your *food, clothing and lodging so, come (live) at my place. And, in exchange for that, (you must) *listen to everything I say.

*This whole paragraph is extremely blunt and direct. Every sentence is worded as an order, and this last line especially - the word "listen" is used here to mean "obey" - so this line really translates to, "in exchange for that, (I want you) to obey my every word". The reason it's not been translated this way is that it sounds so strong it borders on corny in English. In Jp though, the connotation of "obey" comes across not in the words but in the extremely strong/direct delivery of the line (contrasted with the extremely nonchalent tone), so it sounds more shocking/overbearing than it does corny. The original translation here works very well actually.

Technically Segasaki introduces himself here as 気象解説員 (weather forecaster) as opposed to 気象予報士 (meteorologist), but in the show's character bios, and when Man-san talks about him later, he's called a meteorologist anyway, so this difference is of absolutely no importance (I'm just anal like that). FYI, in Japan, all qualified meteorologists (who must pass a national exam) can be forecasters, but not all forecasters have this qualification.

[Y: 明日も雨…か*] Original: More rain tomorrow Mine: There'll be rain again tomorrow, huh? *Said with a falling tone, the "huh" here hints that Yoh is likely a little down/disappointed about the rain continuing, and lays the ground for his reaction later about the rainy season.

[M: 人を沼に召喚しといて　何なの？その態度 S: いや　むしろ���万さんがかなり能動的に突っ込んできた印象しかないんだけど M: ごちゃごちゃうるさい　ややこしいオタクめ S: ごめん　ややこしくて]

Original: M: Why summon someone into your otaku pit and act like that? Y: No, it’s more like you actively intrude into my life M: You’re being noisy and complicated, you complicated otaku Y: Sorry for being complicated…

Mine: M: (You’re the one who) dragged me into this fandom, (so) what’s with that attitude? Y: No, on the contrary, I have the distinct impression that it was you, Man-san, who pretty much jumped right in of your own volition M: (You’re) babbling nonsense (you) troublesome otaku Y: Sorry for being troublesome

[S: めし　なに？ Y: あ、しょーしょうがやき]

Original: S: What do you want for dinner? Y: Stir-fried ginger

Mine: S: What's for dinner? Y: Sho-shogayaki

Shogayaki is a style of cooking meat, usually pork, where you stir fry the meat with ginger. Unless the type of meat is specified, it refers to Pork Stir Fried with Ginger, or Ginger Pork Stir Fry. Very common home cooked dish.

[S: あ、そ] (A, so?) S: Oh, is that so?

"I see" is a totally ok translation too. "A, so" can mean "Oh I see" or "Oh is that right" or "Oh is that so" etcetc but it has the air of a really bored "Oh, really?/Sure/If you say so" This is why Yoh's reaction after this is "if you aren't interested then don't ask!". This is the first of many times that Segasaki will use this phrase, as we will see in the following episodes, so I'm highlighting it here for now.

No translation issues here - but I just want to point out that it's reeaaally difficult to make tasteless shogayaki hahaha If you've had ginger stir fried in anything you'll know - it's not a meek herb at all. Canonically, Yoh is apparently a really bad cook. This will be pointed out again later, when he makes curry, because again, it's gotta be some kind of talent to make bland japanese curry; it's r*eeeeaally *easy. Anyway, the sauce that Segasaki asks for here is Soy Sauce, which is different from the sauce that he asks for later! Seems like a few people think they're the same thing (also pay attention to the sauce rack position here - Yoh'll will move it closer to himself by their next dinner hahaha)

[Y: ちかいんだよ、いちいち*] Y: He (leans in) so close, every (damn) time*!

*Not sure if this comes across, but the word for "every time" here is usually associated with slight annoyance, but the way "close" is said here implies Yoh's a little bashful about it.

[Y: 雨、多いな*] (ame, ooi *na...) Y: Rain...so much of it*

*This has the same feel as the "there'll be rain again tomorrow...huh" that we first saw earlier this episode. The ending particle "~na" bakes in a sigh and a sense of disappointment here (if you didn't notice the utter depression on Yoh's face lol)

[S: めし、まだ？] S: Food's not ready yet?

See, you don't notice it with the Eng translations because even the most basic Eng grammar will form a complete sentence. In Jp though, Segasaki is once again taking "man of a few words" to the extreme. He has taken out every single part of the sentence he possibly can whilst still keeping it grammatically complete. So this line is literally just "Food, not yet?". He's done this throughout the episode btw - it's why he comes across as so cold/distant.

[Y: やっぱ　わかんねえよな] Mine: As I thought, he doesn't understand...

[Y: 結局　従ってしまう自分の従順さが憎い*] Original: I hate my obedience, always giving in Mine: In the end, the obedient part of me that always ends up following his orders - I hate* it

*the word used for "hate" here is "nikui" which is different from the word Yoh uses when he says he "hates (dai kirai)" Segasaki. "dai kirai" is simply the opposite of "dai suki" - to really like, so is more accurately "really dislike" than it is "hate" (even though it is frequently translated as such). "Nikui", which is much stronger word, bringing to mind the idea of a "strong rejection of/detest/disgust for" something.

If you didn't already know, the word "embrace" aka "抱���" here is a euphemism for "to sleep with (somebody).

Shoyu = Soy Sauce. Sauce = worcestershire sauce, unless you're in a tonkatsu shop. Then sauce = tonkatsu sauce (which is a slightly different variation). Don't look at me, I don't make the rules.

(This is very long but I'm going to write the whole monologue here)

[Y: 晴れ予報の度に抱かれて 晴れ　なんて単語は　暗いなかで湿っぽく行われる　それとは　ちぐはぐなイメージなのに。。。 まるでやらしい言葉みたいに　頭に刷り込まれていって わかってんのか？　あんたの口から　予報をきいて　どんな気持ちになるか わかんないんだろうな　一生考えもしないだろうな だってあんたは　恋人でもない俺に　平気でこんなことができる]

Original: Every time there’s a sunny forecast, he does it with me The word sunny feels out of place for such activity in a dark and damp room It’s as if it’s such a lewd word being forced into my mind Do you understand, how I feel when I hear that word from your mouth? You probably won’t understand or even think about it for your entire life You have no problem sleeping with someone you’re not even going out with

Mine: (He) embraces (me) every time the forecast is sunny A word like “sunny” … (brings up) a completely different image from that damp, humid activity taking place in the dark And yet (to me) it seems like a lewd, obscene word, searing (the image of) itself into my brain Do you understand? How exactly I feel when I hear the forecast from your mouth? You probably don't understand, do you? Probably won't ever think about it your entire life, right? Because you're able to do this with me, (someone)who isn't even your lover, without any issues at all

This line was ad-libbed btw, if you didn't already know (link leads to Kouhei's 16th Aug IG livestream, and his explanation starts around 07:20 mark) They've talked about this a few times on both their IG lives, and Kouhei seems to get prouder about it each time hahaha. In the linked IG, Kouhei said:

(reading a fan comment) "More" was an ad-lib?? I'm gonna die

Kouhei: Yea it was…ah that was…um, Mashiko-kun… Acchan (his nickname for Atsuki) gave me a really good expression so…somehow, (by the time) I realised (what I had done), yes, (by the time) I realised it,I had said it. Well probably saying "by the time I realised it" is weird but… yes. By the time I realised it... "even more"…(I'd wanted him) to open his mouth more so. Yes. That's all.

[S: そこそこ高給取りになる予定*だから] Original: I'm planning to *become a high earner Mine: It's likely* that I'm gonna be drawing a pretty decent salary so...

*The exact wording here is actually "(it has been) planned that (I will) become (someone) drawing a pretty decent salary so" - the way this is phrased indicates that this conversation probably happened in Segasaki's last year of university, probably right before he graduated when he already had a job lined up for himself. In Japan, your final year of university is spent interning at companies and if they like you, you'll stay on as a salaried worker, so most graduates will have something lined up before they officially leave university.

[Y: 流されるな] Y: Don't get swept away (by this) This phrase is usually used to warn people not to let themselves be swept away/caught up by the latest trends/public perception/societal expectations/their own emotions/panic etc Here, together with his insistence that he's just Segasaki's slave and so obeying him is a natural consequence, and so is sleeping with him (as opposed to Yoh doing it because he likes/wants to) - Yoh is basically telling himself "don't get swept away" by the situation/his feelings because their relationship doesn't mean anything.

[Y: じゃあ、しばらく…ないのか。*slaps face* しばらくしなくていいんだ！]

Original: So, it won't be happening, for a while huh? *slaps face* I'm fine without it for a while, right?

Mine: So then... there won't be... for a while, huh... *slaps face* (It should be) "I don't have to do it for a while!"

Again, you can see, Yoh's literally spent this entire episode trying to convince himself that he's not actually in love with Segasaki, and everything he does for Segasaki, be it listening to him, or sleeping with him etc, he does simply because he is fulfilling his end of the bargain as "a slave".

OMFG I FINISHED THAT WAS TOO DAMN LONG.

I will finish Ep 2 & 3 before I do the language analysis post. But first... I need a break....

[twilight-zoned-out]

Edwin Payne is a dweeb who gives terrible weak comebacks, who can be unnecessarily petty, or overly smug, who is inordinately pleased with himself when wearing detective gear and using scientific gear, the thought never crossing his mind that he might not look as cool as he thinks he does, who carries a continual and utter absolute delight at acting like the characters he loved to read about, who was enthralled by his magazine detective and adventure stories and who wears a similar smile when he sits on the bed watching Scooby Doo with Niko, 'these detectives are terribly clever,' whose board game collection is mostly variations of Clue, who requires payment (because any good detective is worth some kind of payment) but whose idea of payment is whatever interesting object the client offers to add to his collection, who has encyclopedic intelligence he clearly dedicated hours to learning, who has a particular way of acting and speaking like everything is of vital importance, because to him, it is.

[orderforbrian]

my personal hc is that martin forces jon to watch all of the films (extended version) like this:

[Start ID: 9 crudely drawn doodles of Jon and Martin from the Magnus Archives. Jon is a thin Persian man with shoulder length curly hair, a beard, and rectangular glasses. He's wearing a t shirt and sweatpants. Martin is a fat mixed Polish/Korean man with wavy hair kind of styled in a modern mullet. He's wearing browline glasses, a t shirt and sweatpants, and has a beauty mark under his lip. 1st image: Text says "Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition)" above Jon's head and he looks forward in horror. A line buzzes past him and cracks at the end, with the sound effect "glass shatters sfx". 2nd image: Jon attempts to get up but Martin's arm shoots in front of him. 3rd image: Close up of Martin from a downward angle, he looks down menancingly at Jon and says "Sit. Back. Down." You can see his breath as he says it. In the bottom corner, Jon has big dewy eyes that are pleading for mercy.

4th image: Martin is holding a crudely drawn gun to Jon's head as they sit on the sofa together, Martin has his other arm around Jon's shoulder and Jon looks mildly terrified and sweaty (mostly due to the impending film). 5th image: One half of Jon's face is shown, he apprehensively says "H-how long did you say this was...". 6th image: One half of Martin's face is shown and he blankly responds, "3 hours. I made popcorn...".

7th image: The film is presumably over. Jon looks deep fried, he has many creases under his eyes and his hair is a mess, an arrow pointing says his eyes are bloodshot. He proclaims with heavy sarcasm, "Wow! What a great movie!". He thinks to himself, "Jesus Christ, I'm glad that's over." 8th image: Martin smirks and says, "Hah! Just wait until the next one. It's a trilogy." In the bottom, Martin sits on the sofa with a fanged smile. Jon is laying on the ground in the Family Guy death pose with an artificially big butt. 9th image: Text above says "Return of the King (Extended Edition)". Martin has presumably made Jon watch all the movies at once. Jon looks like a husk of a dried corpse, he has creases all over his face and has a single hair sticking up from his head. Martin beside him says, "Yeah, that's one of the many interesting behind the scenes facts-". Jon exhaustedly replies "Cool". End ID.]

[p4nishers]

random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[yveltalreal]

really funny when people talk about rotom devices like rotomphones and rotomdexes and rotomfridges and stuff and like they so obviously have no clue how they qctually work

if you put a rotom in a regular phone the rotom will brick it. it will overcharge the phone and just fuck it right up because theres nothing stopping it from doing that. same with any non rotom appliance or non rotomdex or the regular pc boxes not the ones they got in galar. like a rotom will fuck a normal fridge up

rotomdevices are SPECIFICALLY BUILT so that the rotom doesnt break it or do shit it shouldnt. hell by default a rotom is banned from all your apps except a text to speech app, calendar, notes app, stopwatch, photos, and a few other very limited apps on a rotomphone. you have to go into setings to allow other apps to be accessed by means other than the screen being touched and the screen being touched alone.

like i deliberately gave .zip tumblr privileges. your rotom cannot fuck with anything you have not given it permission to fuck with and theres certain shit you straight up cannot let it fuck with (they cannot access your settings app unless youre fucking with shit the manufacturers did not intend for you to fuck with so if your rotom gets into your settings its entirely ur fault because you cannot just fat finger the option for that)

most rotom appliances also come with remotes you can keep far away from the rotom so if it starts fucking around you can just. press a button and it boots the rotom out. some even allow you to LOCK your rotom out of it so it cant go in. rotomphones have similar functionality where you can just lock em out of your phone and provided it has leftover charge ur phone will work just fine

that brings me to the next point. depends on the device but rotomdexes have their more important features (like the actual dex) available to use without a rotom and rotomphones work entirely except for shit that would require a rotom like the floating stuff. as long as theyre properly charged up theyre fine.

because they dont?? sell rotom with the phone??? that would be fucked up and cruel while the rotomphone is a modified pokeball you arent just buying a rotom. there are breeders associated with most companies that sell rotom devices like the rotomphone company and will sell rotoms for the phones for cheaper provided they do an adequate background check, you can also just catch a rotom or just use the phone without ever getting a rotom. .zip has zero brand loyalty because my mom personally nabbed him from the wild

idk its wild how many of you think rotom devices are like. shit powered by unwilling rotom slaves and outclassed by all other devices when in actuality a better term for them is rotomproof devices like dont get me wrong android is 100% better if you dont work with electric types regularly or dont have a mischievous creature that wants to play candycrush but like they have their usage and are popular for a reason

[ifindus]

1660 - Cavalryman - Several wars under Denmark against Sweden.

1697 - Gunner - pre-Great Nordic War under Denmark against Sweden.

1774 - Skiing Soldier - pre-Theater War under Denmark against Sweden.

1785 - Infantryman - pre-Great Northern War under Denmark against Sweden.

1808 - Coast Guard Officer - Napoleonic Wars under Denmark.

1845 - Infantryman - pre-First Schleswig War under Sweden against Germany.

1855 - Infantryman - during the Crimean War (Sweden-Norway debated joining the UK and France against Russia).

1905 - Hunter - preparing for wars of independence against Sweden.

1914 - Engineer Officer - First World War.

1940 - Infantry Officer - Second World War.

[lifemod17]

[akkivee]

chiitan replying to the kuukou bday tweet bc they have decided kuukou’s crazy and their crazy makes them twin souls and then posting that vid of them shooting the ocean is so wholesome uwu omg wow wow 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺