#I had to look up the song in question
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I'm glad you're evil too - Pinocchio-P
#end roll#russell seager#chris (end roll)#chrissell#my art#LONG TIME NO CHRISSELL#not for lack of trying bc holy frick this took FOREVER to do#it is !!! the first pic in my plans to illustrate a questionably large portion of the playlist i'm making for them. SWEATS#(which i'll def share too once i'm satisfied enough)#been really hyped for just about all of them coming after this tho so i hope it goes well 😳#i have uhhh over 10 thumbnails done already i think#everything else was more easily inspired and should be a lot more approachable#so look forward to more of that hopefully more quickly than this took WHEEZE#i just upgraded to csp v3 so i can now say with tangibility that i spent over 20 hours 'finishing up' alone sob#just REALLY wanted to get it done first bc it's def the best opener#also gonna confess that i stole this particular song association from someone else associating it w them already#i've known of the song for a long time but had never listened to it super closely before
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I thought you'd be interested. Someone asked the writer on New Wish why Dev and Trev don't interact if they're "best buds" (I can kinda relate to the "story answer" here...poor Dev)
skldjf, that's way funnier than anything I was brainstorming.
That makes him following Trev around when they're backup dancers for Hazel in "1500 Minutes of Fame" even worse... Just TALK TO HIM, DEV!! He'd love to be your friend!!
#Dev Dimmadome owner of anguish#A New Wish#1500 Minutes of Fame#FAIRIES!#asks#Ah yes my two favorite parts of Hazel's New York song: Lactose intolerant Dev holding a hamburger and looking grumpy#and Dev scampering from the sidelines to be super enthusiastic about dancing#I hope that among the things he was mad at Hazel for he's a little messed up about being influenced by the 1500 minutes of fame#even though he probably had foggy memories of it or didn't look back to question it due to how wishes generally work#I think it would be funny if Dev also roped Hazel into things so she's influenced to fawn over him and she's HIS back-up dancer#Pending Hazel tag
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I come from a family of singers, and while I didn’t inherit the Actually Good at Singing gene, I used to love singing anyway. I’ve always been an alto, and my deeper voice was always a point of pride for me! I was into musical theatre, and when I would actually be cast, I’d find as many loopholes as possible to sing lower than I was supposed to. I wanted to be a Broadway actress. But I wanted to play women’s and men’s roles. I wanted to be known as the woman who could be a man just as easily and just as flawlessly.
But after a, uh, particular incident at a singing contest, I realized just how much I actually sucked and swore off singing for the rest of my life; I’ve been slowly allowing myself to sing again through my twenties, but never where others can hear.
While my speaking voice hasn’t dropped as much since starting T, my singing voice has. I’ve been testing my low range by singing the opening of The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg and seeing how many notes I can actually hit, and I’ve been kinda dissatisfied, because I still can’t hit the bottom notes. But as of late I’ve found myself cranking off into musical theatre pieces whenever I’m alone and cleaning or driving or what have you, and the more I go through, the more I realize my voice is, at present, so much closer to the voice I always wanted growing up.
While cleaning the windows at work, I cranked off on the most hilariously passionately rendition of Who I’d Be, which has always been one of my favorites, but one I could never sing; it went too low, and raising the key took it too high outside of my range. Now? I can hit every last note. Not well, of course, but I never once struggled in the lows. Now I can’t stop singing it, because I’ve wanted to sing it since I was thirteen and now I finally can and I’m needlessly emotional over it.
I dunno. It’s just nice. This is the first time I’ve felt happy about my voice since I was in middle school, and it’s empowering in an odd sorta way.
#apologies to the customers and tourists who happened to pass by the park office at the time#just a random-ass dudechick yelling ‘WE’D STAND AND STARE! WE’D SPEAK OF LOVE! WE’D FEEL THE STAAAAAARS ASCENDING!’#but in my defense! I was having a great time. 😅#peaches screams into the void#also! the incident in question:#my brother and I entered a local singing contest years back (I wanna say I was 15 or 16)#I went right after he did. my brother’s legitimately one of the best singers I know. he’s god-tier#so of course he had everyone enraptured the whole time#then I go up there and do my song… and everyone looks visibly either bored or sympathetic#there was a high note near the bridge and when I hit it a group of people near the back just. BURST into laughter#I begrudgingly finished the song then left the stage assuring myself it was the last song I would ever sing#like… yeesh. I knew I wasn’t GOOD but I didn’t realize until then just how bad I really was 😅
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[First, I was rereading "Agua Caliente" and I remembered a song that played a lot in my childhood (and I had kind of forgotten) bc the lyrics somehow matched the Patrochilles dynamic in this fic. This is kind of funny bc I would never in my life associate sertanejo (it's a type of country music, I think? Idk I've never heard country, but the aesthetic is kind of similar. Anyway, it's pretty popular here) with shipping an ancient Greek couple in modern AU, but ok. And I went to listen to this song again and now I'm listening to it on a loop, so thanks for that.]
Now the real question! It's perhaps a strange question, but do you plan what you write? Like, before you write, do you have the whole structured idea in mind? I could have sworn it was like that reading the fics, but then some notes on Ao3 and certain things you say on Tumblr started to make me reflect that maybe you don't plan as much as I thought… in that case, how do you manage to connect everything so well without looking like something was left out/without prior planning??? It's magic, technique, luck or actually do you plan?
Sorry if the question is a bit "???" but I'm REALLY thinking about this! I used to write fics years ago and I was in the "won't plan" group and as expected the fics came out obviously unplanned (but that was ok with me bc it was just to pass the time and I didn't expect it to be an engaging story or anything), and here's why this ask exists: it's precisely bc I was in the “won't plan” group that I'm really intrigued by the possibility of you NOT planning bc it just doesn't seem that way reading your fics...
The short answer is that I do plan what I write, but probably not enough.
I rarely start writing a fic with an entire idea. Often it's just a vibe. But I won't start posting a fic until I know exactly what the conflict is and how it will be resolved.
This was easy in ATG, for example, because I'd already written the resolution before I even decided to write the fic. Structuring it by Patroclus's age also helped, because I could make an outline with the stuff that needed to happen and then jam stuff I wanted to happen around it. That "Stuff" could be really specific--obviously Pat had to graduate school and Achilles had to go to the Olympics on specific years, and it was also like, this section should have them fighting. This section should have them getting along, but Achilles is hiding this big lie so there should be a weird tension.
In Sunset, it took me longer to figure out the conflict/resolution. Sure, I knew that Achilles was going to cry on a Chicago street corner and get naked in Pat's kitchen, but why was he there? How did he get there? I had already written Achilles settling in to Pat's place and the scene where he gets into the lake before I decided on Aphrodite being the key to explain this whole thing. Then I knew Pat had to die. But a lot of the stuff that happened in the middle was sort of on a whim (particularly Achilles getting on the wrong L train-that was definitely just an impulse I had while finishing that chapter). Tecmessa's chapter was also a later addition, and a deeply self-indulgent one, hah.
Agua was the least planned of these three, and in some ways it was because the idea was a lot simpler. After three years, Achilles runs into Patroclus again and they reconcile in some way. I knew exactly how Patroclus would feel about the whole thing (relieved, guilty, upset, wounded, hopeful, upset about feeling hopeful). My original plan was just to set up Achilles in his shop and his new life doing his best and have him run into Patroclus at the beach, and eventually they'd go to the desert. I wrote parts of their meeting first, and then I started writing the beginning and ended up scrapping most of that. I realized I was going to have to do a lot more writing for poor Achilles. My lack of planning here did cause some difficulties--I had like three versions of that date he went on with Pat with different endings. One involved Pat in the hospital, lmao. Zag and Meg coming to stay with Achilles were kind of whims, and I had meant to have Hypnos show up for "his turn" and have Achilles send him home because no, these were not team-building exercises, but then I forgot 😩.
The reason that I need to know the conflict/resolution at the start is because I do think all the scenes in a fic should relate to it in some way, either by building up the conflict or setting the groundwork for a resolution. Even for the impulsive scenes I add just for fun, I think about how they can do this. For example, Achilles getting lost on the L allowed me to build up Pat's unreasonable anxiety, show that Ajax was also feeling it to some extent, and end in Pat saying "fuck it" and just giving in to making out with his hot, ancient boyfriend. It was also something that happened to a friend who was visiting me from out of the country and didn't have a working cell phone. That moment of watching him through the window of the L as it slowly pulled away is just etched in my memory.
In Agua Caliente, almost anything could relate to the resolution, because the resolution was "Achilles having a life," thus it didn't require as much planning. Zagreus's apartment getting flooded (something that happened to me in grad school) showed Achilles attempting to be flexible with some success while allowing himself to become closer to Zagreus, which led to a point of connection with his kids. It also made it easier to explain why Achilles was doing Zag's delivery that day when he ran into Pat. There were only a couple things that truly needed to happen in AC for the fic to make sense, and that was a resolution with Achilles' kids and then with Patroclus, of course.
I do get loose threads sometimes, side conflicts or things that didn't end up going anywhere, and those things tend to annoy me until I figure out a way to resolve them or make them otherwise relevant. Or I don't. Or sometimes I realize I need to add something/someone into the fic, and it would have been smoother if I'd added it in an earlier chapter so it didn't seem like a convenient thing I'd just thought of to solve a problem. That's always annoying to me. But whatever. It's fanfic. That's the risk of posting while you write.
#actually now that I'm thinking about the L thing#did Julia suggest it?#I think I talked to her a lot about this part of the fic#either way it was a late addition#also looked up sertanejo music and reddit recommended the song o soberano#I speak zero portuguese beyond obrigado#but it had 'sober' in the title which felt fitting#I also broke my own rule with WitD#I don't actually know exactly how I'll resolve this atm#though I woke up with some ideas#anyway this is rambly#I once drew a truly shitty diagram of my process#if you have more specific questions I can try to answer#def should have had coffee before writing this
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Once again, my favorite part of my job is pissing off my medic and ruining their day lmao
#not snz#i love being the world's worst partner lmaoooo#i was actually vibing this time bc i didn't feel like ass#which is worse for everyone around me tbh bc I'm very annoying and i know this#and I've had the jardiance commercial song stucj in my head for months now#so you can imagine what i was humming to myself all day#that's my jam like i think I'm the only person who actually likes that commercial lmao#but my partner wasn't having any of it lmaoooo#i don't hum loud and it's usually at least somewhat loud but we sit right next to each other#so after the first few times it clicked and he looked at me and goes 'that better not be fucking jardiance'#and i confirmed it was and he groaned so loud like bro it ain't that deep lmao#but then he started tapping along with it so he couldn't have hated it that much#also i absentmindedly wiggle a little when I'm vibing with a song whether it's out loud or in my head#and i don't realize half the time but sometimes my partner starts doing some stupid little dance with me or attempts to make fun of me#most of my coworkers do that actually and i think that's iconic of all of us tbh#anyway i also always come prepped with stupid questions to pass the time#you know probably a red flag that i was doing none of this last time LMAO but oh well#today i asked if cheese is a loaf of milk which i asked out of nowhere when things were dead#and he was quiet for a few seconds before saying 'wtf is wrong with you' bc he couldn't think of an answer lmaoooo#i love the bullshit i get up to ahdkaksjak#also i am once again on call bc the entire state is On Fucking Fire so that's fun
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i remember the first time ever i listened to SO i was like pfft rap? get out. (i was cringe) and then when i gave it a listen again a few months later i was a changed person... so i binge listened to their entire discography immediately and was genuinely shocked because how could ALL of their songs be bangers, like i couldn't believe it was possible it was surreal........ i wish i could turn back time (lol) to experience that pure shock again
#and the funny thing is i was in denial abt liking them for some time#i couldnt afford a new hyperfixation in that specific year#and i remember thinking to myself 'lol their music might be good but they're probably ugly its okay i wont like them'#(I WAS A TEENAGER SORRY FOR MY MENTALITY)#so i searched them up on pinterest and guess what i saw. the blurryface photoshoot#i kind of glitched and realized i was fucked#but i still tried to deny it and avoided looking at their pictures for days#but i eventually gave in and looked up videos and interviews and random facts about them#i was like SO stressed out abt this like i would get in trouble if someone found out i like them ahjdkdl#mind u in my country hardly anyone knows who they are#i made peace tho and then i fully embraced becoming a clikkie#technically im a hiatus clikkie#and one of the biggest concerns in my life then was the question of 'ARE THEY RETIRING WHY ARE THEY GONE'#idk looking back its so funny#this was in 2017#OH and one more thing#i was born and raised a christian and still was at that point (now i am not)#and all my life my mom would heavily censor stuff that would come across as 'devilish' or even mildly offensive to the christian religion#yknow even harry potter#so i had this irrational fear/anxiety abt stuff like that wired in my brain as well#so when i saw the hds live vid on youtube (the official one with a ton of views)#i got sincerely worried they might be some kind of devil worshippers or something 💀#them having a song called heathens did NOT help#off i went to google their religion and... the relief i felt when i found out they were christian lol#btw my mom did freak out over heathens when she found out 💀💀#i wont go into detail but she did give me trauma when she learned about the dema storyline too............#i still dont play lore videos when she's in the room 🥲🥲 thats why im lowkey jealous of clikkies with clikkie parents#okay story times over lol#tøp#nemotakeit
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Is it wrong to be a Taylor Swift hater?
Like... is it low-key leftover internalized misogyny?
Or does her music just suck?
#idk i could go on but why bother#ive been thinking about this a lot lately#like i really used to be EXTREMELY misogynistic growing up and i started hating tswift from the beginning and never changed my mind#but i cant tell if all my reason for not liking her are actually justified or if its just confirmation bias#and the first name she gave was taylor swift. and i couldnt help but laugh out loud. (over text#but i genuinely dont find her music interesting#i did like that blank space song the first time i heard it#but after listening to the words i realized i didnt really connect with it and didnt like it as much#but its got a really fun melody#idk its also kind of like that post thats like 'were you an OG justin bieber hater at age 13 just because?'#like is part of my disdain for her just stemming from my need to dislike popular things in general cause im a pretentious little indie lover#who knows idk#maybe i shouldnt hate taylor swift#hating taylor swift isnt a personality trait#but also i cant stop thinking about this one girl i matched with on tinder who said she was going into hearing medical sciences#because of the profound effect that music has had on her in her life#and i already knew exactly how she would answer this question just from looking at her but i asked her#what artists she enjoyed that had such a profound effect on her#and the first name she gave was taylor swift and i couldnt help but laugh out loud#(over text tho she did not hear me thankfully)#idk maybe i have nothing againt the woman as a person (i dont fucking know her so i cant) but im just annoyed by the concept of her#she has this like false success story of being a small town nobody who made it big or something#but that isnt even true she had a rich father who was able to move her across the country#and use his wealth and connections to jumpstart her career#i DO think it is impressive that she writes all of her own songs in an age where the mainstream music industry does not do that#but there are a million and one indie artists writing their own songs that i appreciate more#because theyre writing about things i actually care about#not to mention the way people believe with theyre whole heart that she is queer like come on yall...
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so i gave my first ever drag performance a couple nights ago and while it was a little bit of a bumpy ride i think the people liked it so,,,,
WELCOME TO THE WORLD NEW BABY ARSENIC GREENE!
CONGRATULATIONS, IT'S A......
.....
technical difficulties, please stand by
#drag king#drag thing#drag artist#baby drag queen#are you a drag king or a drag queen? yes next question#im like if an escaped science experiment was on the run from its mad creator and took refuge in a theatre costume department basement#IM WAY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS AND IM ALREADY PLANNING MY NEXT PERFORMANCE AAAAAAAAA#The Yellings#on today's episode of Arsenic Won't Shut the Fuck Up#i met the host of the show and the first thing she did after seeing me was ask for my instagram and i tell you i almost DIED#i told her it was my first performance and she said “looking like that??? that doesn't make any sense” AAAAAAA#THE MIC THEY GAVE ME WAS SO BAD THOUGH#i had to put it down halfway through my song because i kept blowing it out even though i was holding it like 2 feet away from my head#the bitch couldn't handle me i guess#ANYWAYS I THINK IM DONE NOW.#bye
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What’s all this talk about soup and how can I dip Jesus Christ himself in it
Lord We Have Fallen (Your ways we have not kept)
#helpsdkgsfg#thank you anon this made me giggle#to answer your question all you gotta do is dip bread in the soup because apparently all bread is Jesus's body#Also I had to look up that quote I still don't know if it's from a song??? or a verse???? idk#asks
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There it fucking is! Oh my god I have been trying to find a picture of his Angie tattoo for AGES. It's on the back of his right arm, above his elbow! I can't find a clear picture of it to save my life, but I freaking knew it was on his arm somewhere. Ah!!!!
#Okay so let me tag this for myself#Angie tattoo#Angie#Now then let us discuss him getting his Angie tattoo on his arm and his Extremely Suspicious Swallow tattoo on his neck#What does it mean???#Does he see his relationship with Moz symbolically “higher” than his relationship with Angie?#What about Swallow on my Neck called to him? Were songs like Speedway and Billy Budd sort of...#Like did he want a reference that be more difficult to get?#Was it that if he got tattoos of those more obvious songs people would immediately be suspicious?#But getting a literal swallow on his neck seems like such an obvious thing#Every person he meets will see it#Everytime Moz looks him up on YouTube at 2am he will see it and know#But yet it's take me like a year to get a clear shot of his Angie tattoo#The whole vibe throws me honestly#Like i just find it strange that Johnny clearly had to make a decision in 1987#He decided okay well I'm going to have a family I'm going to choose Angie we are going to California and we're gonna have 2 children#But then he walks around with a Morrissey reference tattooed right on his neck#And says it's about...i can't remember#I think he said some bullshit about swallows guiding you home#And HONESTLY? honestly??? That isn't just a piss poor cover up it's also just more questionable#Cause is moz home? Is moz safety? Is the love you shared the sense of home you lost?#I have so many questions Johnny#marrissey thoughts#johnny#johnny marr
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It's really weird when you know someone in a context different from how everybody else knows them so you look at them and you still kind of see that person they used to be
#this post is about the boy i dated my senior year who was so incredibly sweet tbh wouldnt be the person i am today if i hadnt met him#but he was so fucked up he had so many issues it was really hard so it didnt work out but i loved him and i think he loved me too#but hes in a moderately successful band now which i just found out about do i looked them up and theyre good#but its so weird because its like i know that when you were 17 you wanted to be an underwater welder#i helped you clean your room at your grandmas house because you were so sad you couldnt do it yourself#i ditched 5th period AP English to sit on the steps behind the auditorium and listen to you talk about whatever#you pushed me on the swings and we took the bus to the movie theater and you liked cherry wraps and you played me my favorite songs#i havent REALLY thought about that guy in years and we were only together MAYBE 6 months but its so weird what you remember about people#and especially how you remember how they made you feel because he made me feel so good like i was in control#all my previous relationships was me trying to desperately please someone who wouldnt do the same for me#and honestly a lot of my relationships since have been the same especially in college and with the one girl who honestly if she called me#today i would drop everything and go be with her again no questions because i cant get her out of my head#but stuff witj him was never ever like that it was so easy it was like breathing even though it ended messy i have 0 regrets#and its nice to know that things are going well for him because honestly he changed my life a little bit#the way i dont give a fuck now is something i learned from him#ill probably delete this later but you know
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What was your favourite band or album through high school and do you still listen to/like it now? 🤔
✨ Galantis ✨
(In XOXO and let me tell you this part always makes me cry)
#this is a good question cause it took me a HOT second to remember who I listened to in high school hahahah#I had to go to Spotify and scroll through my playlists#and then I saw a playlist that said ‘trip’ and I’m like OH FUCK YEAH I went on a road trip to see galantis#XOXO started my fucking obsession#dude you have no clue#I was OBSESSED with that movie#and I still am…. it’s one of my feel good movies 🥰#it’s also SO trippy#but anyway I found galantis through that movie and then I looked up the rest of their music and I fell in love#I’m not a huge EDM fan tbh and I still don’t fully think of galantis as edm#but there are some parts where it’s electronic dance#but i don’t mind it at all tbh#some of that type of music I actually can’t stand - the beat or melody just gives me a headache#but fuck galantis?#GALANTIS#is a different ballpark I love galantis so much#so to answer your question yes I still listen to them#but definitely not as much as I used to#I feel like their music kinda changed a year or so ago they turned into more of a remixy type (which isn’t bad!! just not my thing)#but some of the galantis songs I grew up with just gives me so much hope#idk the word it gives me ngl#I just listen to it and I feel like life will be ok#I’ll add a few of my fav songs cause I love them so much and now I wanna listen to them#sooooooo much nostalgia 🥰🥰🥰🥰#omg I’m listening to all of these songs and I can sing them word for word#they’re making me cryyyyyy I wanna go back to when I first found them#I miss high school 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#these songs will always have a place in my heart 🥹#thank you for asking lovely 🥰#ask
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pretty sure my first fandom was whatever was on TV when I was 2
what was your original fandom. like not the one you first started with on tumblr. the first bit of media that you made content for
#seriously childhood is so intrinsically fannish there's no line to draw here#kids are constantly making believe and telling each other stories about the characters and worlds that they love#I remember creating stories about paw patrol with my nephew when he was like 4#fanfiction is such a natural behaviour that if you look for it in kids you will find it all the time#so this question doesn't make much sense to me#also wtf do you define as making content#i remeber drawing characters from my favorite stories for as long as I remember drawinh#like even before I could make recognizable characters#oh my first impulse was gonna be answering this with some anime like pokemon or saint seya or yuyu hakusho because I remember better#and because I had anime fever lol#but the only difference there is that I was a little older so I coukd draw and write better and I can remember better what it was like#maybe making up new x-men?#anyway anytime I think of something I also think “but this wasn't the first time I did that”#also I said TV but it also could be books or songs or oral stories or whatever
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how’s everyones morning going
#Rasp Rambles#i am Having A Time <-crying because he’s realized there are very likely reasons as to why he’s scared to believe he’s lovable which#only got spurred on by listening to a song from a media he very recently got into where a specific character is portrayed as loving no one#but himself for a long while and eventually confessing towards the end of the song that the character has learned to love more than just#himself by the end of it (and the song got me thinking about how the character in question is usually portrayed as very into self care and#such and how i don’t really allow myself to treat me well for a number of reasons and only do the bare minimum for myself but very#begrudgingly because it always feels like a chore because i feel like its not worth it for a variety of reasons. and since the character is#from a dating sim game i was like “well he probably would like it if i treated myself better and with love” and then i kinda spiraled from#there and started crying a ton and looked up if there are possible reasons why i could be feeling like i’m undeserving of love and am#generally undesirable and a lot of the potential causes are things that are Very Likely with my past and my family’s history of mental#health issues and such and realizing that i could actually be deserving of the love i rob myself of and have robbed myself of for as long a#i can remember. i know the last time i allowed myself to feel loved in any way was when i was a lot younger (like maybe 10 or 11 years#old at most since the only family member i had that actually made me feel loved emotionally died around that timeframe) and it just. it#hurts to think about how i Could deserve the love and care i deprive myself of for reasons i can’t even begin to articulate if i tried. and#its almost 6am here and i’m crying like a little bitch because my feelings are too much and i should probably end this post here before i#start feeling worse than i already do. because at this point i’m starting to feel undeserving of my partner system and i know that if i#dwell on this too much longer it’ll only hurt more to think about. good night gamers.)
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[ID: a tweet by @ allisuncos saying
Personally I never look up the lyrics to Hozier songs. It feels like an invasion of privacy. If Andrew wanted me to know the words he would've enunciated
/end ID]
#hozier#described#i unironically found out half of hoziers lyrics on uquiz questions#i read the options and genuinely had to look them up because i had no idea what song they referred to
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PEACHES COME FROM A CAN
THEY WERE PUT THERE BY A MAN
IN A FACTORY DOWNTOWNNNN
~ jelly lee
IF I HAD MY LITTLE WAY
I’D EAT PEACHES EVERY DAY
SUN-SOAKIN BULGES IN THE SHADE
#I had to look up the lyrics and the song itself#It’s so funny 😭#a trash bag that talks#casey jones#casey jones 2012#answering test questions#musically gifted
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