#but i cant tell if all my reason for not liking her are actually justified or if its just confirmation bias

[ninjagotohell]

I just read a whole wacky thread of people arguing which parent was bad Garmadon or Misako and I’m no longer scared of the Misako defenders

[stellardeer]

Is it wrong to be a Taylor Swift hater?

Like... is it low-key leftover internalized misogyny?

Or does her music just suck?

[marlshroom]

came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.

in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:

"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"

as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.

bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."

bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.

in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:

[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]

my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:

why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.

how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?

**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)

back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.

i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really

"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!

DENIAL

Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!

RATIONALIZATION

If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!

DETACHMENT

Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!

THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!

Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.

DO WHATEVER I WANT."

ooooooooooooooooooh boy.

he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.

but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not wanting to regift gifts?

im in my 20s but i moved back in with my mom some time ago. i dont really have much of a social circle of my own and nearly all of my friends are long distance but i am somewhat involved in my moms friends circle and their drama. my moms friends somewhat often gift stuff for us for birthdays, holidays or just because. this is stuff thats either meant for both of us to share like chocolate boxes or something for either of us individually like skincare products or perfumes. my mom will sometimes get books.

of course since her friends are very generous my mom wants to also give gifts to them. i dont have an issue with this at all however sometimes she just picks up a gift she got recently and gives it away. im against this for reasons i cant quite put into words but i am a fairly sentimental person and i feel like it just feels rude to both the original gifter and the new giftee even though neither of them will know. i just think a gift should be more sincere than this, something you actually pick out for the recipient.

when she does it with things she got i understand that she can do whatever she wants with her own things but i always tell her it feels rude and gross to me. sometimes though she will ask me if i am okay giving up something i got for her friends, and i never am, and she will scoff at that but wont push the issue. the thing is i do end up with things i dont really use, like i dont really wear perfumes bc i dont go out or anything, but i always feel like i WILL get use out of them eventually, and also i just appreciate the gifts i was given and dont want to get rid of them.

(specifically the woman that gives perfumes the most for me recently told me a story about how she was really hurt by a friend of hers giving away a perfume she gave them back at the time she was struggling with money, but i felt this way even before i learned about this, so it isnt super relevant though it makes me feel more justified.)

i should also mention that this isnt a money issue for her, she can absolutely afford to buy new things, but she is very busy and i think she also struggles with time management and sometimes will remember that she wants to get a gift for her friends in the last moments before meeting them, otherwise id be fine going on my own to pick something out since i have more time on my hands.

aita for being bothered by this?

What are these acronyms?

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I made a mistake last time, I said that I read chapters 22-30 when I only read 22-29, but now I have read chapter 30 and also chapters 31-34 so lets talk about those

Its so frustrating how Im more than halfway through this 700 page book thats ostensibly supposed to be about Feyre and Rhysand's complicated relationship developing and theres been no development because the things that should make their relationship complicated have just been completely handwaved. Like, if this book HAS to focus so much on Rhys to the detriment of Feyre, and he also just HAS to be morally good, atleast give him some kind of character arc of bettering himself, right now Im basically just looking at this stagnant statue of a guy through someone elses eyes which doesnt make for a rewarding reading experience

Ive also been noticing more and more weird retcons and idk what to call it, justifications for why Rhys is better even when hes doing the same shit as Tamlin I guess? The two big ones being, when Tamlin blew up that room after Feyre told him that he was suffocating her he did it out of anger, and, Feyre is fine with wearing dresses for the night court because she knows she can go back to wearing Illyrian leathers anytime, which is not how it was at the spring court.

First of all, I keep saying this, I am not a Tamlin girlie, I dont like him that much and hes doing a bad job dealing with Feyre, but you dont need to make shit up to make Feyre's choice to leave feel justified. Like, he was not punching the walls in anger, he felt so bad and guilty about hurting Feyre when all he wants is to keep her safe that his magic went haywire over it. And thats bad enough! I mean Feyre, who has a lot of trouble communicating her feelings, finally managed to tell him everything thats wrong and makes her feel bad and makes healing from her trauma difficult, and he reacts by basically having a panic attack which makes his magic react in a dangerous way. Idk about you, but I would not feel comfortable or even safe expressing my feelings to him, even if he didnt react like that out of anger

Like, Feylin could have just not worked out, it couldve just been disfunctional without being portrayed as abuse but it cant be, I guess because it needs to be abuse in order to justify Feyre leaving him. And thats so strange to me because the idea that women need any kind of ("serious") justification for leaving a relationship is completely anti-thetical to the themes of feminism and choice that this book is trying to go for. Like, why cant a woman just break up with a guy because she stopped feeling it, theres no reason not to break up with a guy who makes you feel bad even if hes not being outright abusive. Although, in this particular story there actually is a reason, which is that if Feyre left Tamlin without a "good" justification then Amarantha would win, she would be proven right about the fickle nature of humans and the pointlessness of their un-eternal love from beyond the grave and that would be a bummer because the first book is about how Love Conquers All, as is the case with pretty much all great romances. So Tamlin's unambigiously abusive now so that that beautiful idea of Love Conquering All doesnt end up being dragged through the dirt. ACOMAF essentially posits that the Love that was supposed to Conquer All isn't real because neither Feyre nor Tamlin were willing or able to truly love each other through their trauma, ergo it didnt actually Conquer All. Thats also why Rhysand isnt meaningfully affected by what should be traumatic events; because while Feyre can love someone through her own trauma, she cant seem love someone whos traumatized themself

I feel like the way I phrased that was pretty harsh, but I do think its kinda true, in a way. Idk man, the thing that makes talking about Feyre's new UTM trauma so difficult is that everyone, including the narrative itself, is expecting her to have worked through it within less than half a year when its like, shes immortal and also living in a world with no therapists, she can take a bit longer than that. I mean hell, everyone in the inner circle is like 500 years and all of their major traumata happened when they were very young and most of them have still not learned how to actually cope with them aside from killing/avoiding the people who caused it (atleast from what Ive seen, especially of Cassian), Feyre might honestly be doing better than all of them but she keeps dogging on herself which, remember, her perspective is objectively correct as of this book, so that sucks

Alright, three paragraphs to talk about that first point, lets move on to talking about the dress thing. I have already observed that it seems like Feyre might stop wearing pants entirely at some point despite how much this particular book keeps going on and on about Tamlin forcing her to wear dresses in conjunction with going on about Tamlin forcing her into a subserviant mother-role, implying that dresses are inherently depowering, and well. I hate that for Feyre but I do love being proved right

And like, okay, I think Feyre hating dresses is another ACOMAF retcon, but its a retcon in a weirdly circular way. Let me explain; in ACOTAR I didnt get the impression that she hated dresses, I thought she just preferred pants because its what she was used to and because for a pretty large chunk of the book she was thinking about fleeing or was in situations where she needed to run away from something and pants were just more practical for that. But when she trusted the fae a bit more and a special occasion came up or she wanted to make Tamlin feel flustered (? that one doesnt make that much sense to me tbh), she did ask for dresses to wear and only felt a little embarrassed about it because she didnt usually wear them. I didnt even get the impression that she hated the impractical rich noblewoman dress they put her in when she was sent back to the human world, just that she found it really silly and unfitting for her. And I do think her being willing to wear dresses was supposed to be a signifier of her healing journey and her learning how to be gentle and let herself be loved in that book

Then ACOMAF comes around and she suddenly hates wearing dresses, which also ties into her suddenly becoming some kind of adrenaline junkie when she previously wanted to live a peaceful and comfortable life. Now, granted, the difference is that in ACOTAR she wore dresses that she explicitly asked to wear, whereas in ACOMAF Tamlin just assumes that she will always wear dresses by virtue of her being a woman without asking Feyre about it at any point (I know Ianthe was actually more involved in the dress-stuff, but the narrative is making Tamlin responsible for it so Im just gonna go along with it for simplicity's sake). Thats reasonable enough

But then a little further into ACOMAF we have Rhysand doing the exact same thing, hes assuming that she will wear dresses for the sake of keeping up appearances and helping him with his politics (and also, he's assuming that she will let herself be sexualized via the apple-breast comment in front of Tarquin (and later the CoN-UTM reeanactment scene)) and hes right, because of course he is. But the reason its fine when Rhysand does it, I guess, is because he keeps reassuring her that she has a choice in these matters when she really doesnt. Like, did he pack some illyrian leathers just in case Feyre didnt want to wear the dresses he got her? If he did, theres been no mention of it. Theres also been no mention of him asking her if she preferred to wear pants or a dress for the Summer Court mission, even though it seems to me that harem pants are considered to be unisex in the Night Court while they seem to be considered distinctly masculine in places like the Spring Court

And then we get to the thing about this dress-stuff that makes me call it a 'weirdly circular retcon'; while Nuala is dressing Feyre up for her date with Tarquin, for lack of a better term, she looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about how maybe, after everything shes been through that forced her to become hard, shes starting to heal and can finally let herself be feminine and soft and pretty. If you'll recall from a few paragraphs ago, that already happened to Feyre in ACOTAR except it was more subtle, I dont remember her just straight-up thinking about it like she does in this scene in ACOMAF. So its the same thing, but instead of her wearing dresses that she excplicitly asked to wear, shes wearing dresses that her new bf picked out for her and all but made her wear

And honestly, thats a really good way of summarizing the differences between Feylin and Feysand and the way Feyre gets treated in these book, which is why I wrote so fucking much about this pretty insignificant detail

Surprisingly enough, Im not done with this monster of a post yet, because I have some stuff to say about the Summer Court

The way Cresseida was introduced and treated made me have what Im just gonna call an angry epiphany. Like, before she came along I just thought the feminism of this series was very shallow and very white, but after her introduction I was just angrily thinking to myself "How the FUCK is this series considered feminist in any way?! The three types of women that exist in this story are literally Protagonist's Sisters (characterized as Haughty Bitch and Infantilized Clueless Cinnamon Roll Who Can Do No Wrong respectively), Protagonist's Slaves Servants Who Are Inexplicably Always Darkskinned Women and Promiscuous Bitches"

Varian seemed fine, but I dont like that he seems to have something going on with Amren. I know I said I didnt particularly like her, but I did still kinda latch onto her as my aroace rep so I find that very disappointing. But I guess thats on me for having expectations like that of the most amatonormative book series Ive ever read

So, from observing this part of the fandom prior to reading the books, it seemed that if sjm critical people dont like Feylin, theyll usually like Feyquin as an alternative to the horrible but canon Feysand. Despite that, I didnt have the highest expectations because honestly, it not much harder for a character to be a better love interest than ACOTAR!Tamlin and Rhysand. Like, the thing about Tamlin is that he was a really boring guy but hes a very good love interest, and the thing about Rhysand is that hes also really boring and hes a very bad love interest, so I thought "okay, I know Tarquin is the youngest and he has that whole thing about actively wanting equality for faeries but no one taking him seriously because everyone thinks hes inexperienced, OBVIOUSLY hes more interesting than the guys who can access their power with no issue, and then he'll just be kinda flirty towards Feyre, as SJM MaLeS usually are and that makes him a decent enough potential love interest I guess" and thats all true but idk, actually reading about him made me like him sooooo much. Like, him and Feyre telling each other theyre easy to love? Mwah, gorgeous. I bet Rhys is really glad he has that mating bond because without it his sorry ass would NOT be able to compete with Tarquin

So now my list of m/f Feyre ships goes Feyquin > Feycien > Feylin and Feyre/Azriel are on about the same level to me I think > Feysand (not including feyssian bc I think its a crime to ship cassian with a woman sry)

I specify m/f Feyre ships because if I included all of the Feyre ships, Feyanthe would be at the very top followed by Feyre/Amren. Idk, I know its obscure, but when she was describing how Amren was wearing a crop top she said something like "a sliver of skin was left exposed, as tempting as a calm lake" and I was like oh? 👀 Those guys have potentialllllllll I mean who needs Mates when youre both Made amiright fellas. Also, Feyre/Mor would go above Feysand

Anyway, thats it from me again, I hope you enjoyed this

[barbieb0y]

summer love, wild and free.

day 2 of scrunkly week baby !!! still kinda late but im trying my best.

for day 2, the theme is summer! gotta love summer. i went with both the prompts sandy shores and crashing waves + road trip of our lives!! the two go so well together, i cant help it

still my self-insert oc, paper cut x joe reverse 1999 ... it's romantic this time bc i am cringe but i am free. also yes this is longer. not sorry

also title inspired by this crj song! a lot of her fluffier songs remind me of my this selfship tbh ... listen to it while reading for a better experience? maybe? anyway

An arm raises to shield the sun. No matter how strong the individual, the sun will always prove to be quite the formidable foe. And for Paper Cut, the blistering heat is more than enough reason to stay indoors.

“Joe, I love you, but asking me to go out in this weather is no different to asking me to willingly jump into a volcano.”

He complains, yet his feet find their way outdoors, towards their agreed meeting spot. He says hi to any familiar faces on the street - either they were his patients or are Joe’s friends (or both even). Paper Cut has lamented the fact that his networking skills could use some work and he wishes he hadn’t; because it was sort of the reason why he’s stuck in this predicament.

Joe proposed to him that the summer is a perfect time to make new friends and that he’ll make some arrangements to help his lover out. Paper Cut, ever the people-pleaser that he was, couldn’t say no to him or his wide smile at the time. Pretty privilege is a curse, he realized.

All that thinking makes the trip to their meeting spot feel short at least.

“Babe! So. Guess what?”

Joe exclaims the moment Paper Cut enters the scene, which is Joe leaning on the hood of some car. Paper Cut squints. If he has to be honest, he is not in the mood for guessing games. But he’ll spare some of his annoyance to answer a simple question… with another question, since Joe definitely couldn’t hide that car in any way.

“Whose car did you steal?”

Joe is quick to defend himself, most likely a habit sprung from his gangster living. Paper Cut doesn’t actually mind his lifestyle (he finds it quite attractive at times even) but it doesn’t prevent Joe from wanting to prove himself a good guy any less. 

He jokes but the heat gets to him so he sounds somewhat stoic. In that moment, he wishes the sun could just melt him down into a puddle of guilt.

“Hey hey hey, I rented it, alright? And for the whole weekend too.”

But more importantly.

“T-The whole weekend?”

He isn’t super shocked that Joe can afford it - he has his sources of income - but rather, the fact that this arrangement of his is gonna span the whole weekend. He’s already preparing to say goodbye to his free time.

As much as he enjoys spending time with Joe, Paper Cut is an introvert first and foremost. Time to himself is as precious, if not more, than gold. But Joe… oh God, he loves him too much to say no to this.

Calm down, Paper Cut. It’s just a weekend out. It’s harmless. On the contrary, more sunlight is good for your health! You’re a “doctor”, you have to set a good example for your patients.

“Fuck yeah! Just the two of us, on a road trip of our lives…”

Did he say just the two of us?

Paper Cut finally perks up for the first time that day. Maybe there is hope for this socially awkward little doctor.

“Well, at first I did want to set us up with some friends of mine from Sunset District but then I thought… we haven’t really gone anywhere far, just the two of us yet.”

Paper Cut can tell Joe is trying his best to not point out that the former thinks that the lesser the company, the better… but he appreciates his effort. Even if Joe is basically enabling his boyfriend to stay in his comfort zone.

Well, this whole trip is supposed to be a comforting thing, right? Paper Cut tries to justify the situation to himself.

“I like how you had to add ‘far’ in your little excuse.”

Paper Cut can’t help but tease his adorable boyfriend. Especially since he often reacts as he does at the moment: small smile and the corner of his eyes crinkled, with a touch of deep brown on his cheeks. He scratches the back of his head bashfully.

“Okay, yeah, we go on bike dates around here all the time but this! Is a whole-ass car!”

He proudly slaps the hood of the car but not without stealing a quick glance at it, in case he accidentally damages it somehow (he did not, thankfully). Paper Cut chuckles when he can’t find it in him to argue with the proclamation. It is, indeed, a whole-ass car. It’s more convenient for a road trip to wherever the hell Joe is planning on taking him.

Seriously, how can he say no to this?

“I just have one question.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’m existing without an ID so I have no place to judge you for that.”

If there’s anything Paper Cut loves more than Joe, it’s questions. The latter has always loved his curious nature but this time around, he comes prepared.

“Yes, I know how to drive, no, I don’t have a license.”

Or so Joe thought.

“Fair point.”

Joe pouts to himself. Paper Cut has his unpredictable moments it seems.

Paper Cut adjusts his glasses.

“Why didn’t you just buy a car? Don’t you have the money for it?”

A look of clarity crosses Joe’s features. There’s a reason why Paper Cut is the brains of this two-man operation called a romantic relationship.

“...I didn’t think of that.”

Paper Cut can’t help but reach up to kiss his idiot boyfriend.

“Ocean Beach is such a stupid name for a beach. Like yeah, duh, I sure hope it does.”

For an introvert, Paper Cut quite easily starts the 10th conversation in the last two hours alone. The heat is still getting to him and he can’t bring himself to willingly fall asleep. Not to mention that he can’t stop singing along to the songs on the radio anyway.

“Couldn’t they have named it something pretty like, oh I don’t know, Sunset Beach? Sunset District is right there.”

Paper Cut leans back in his seat and sighs dramatically, cursing the fates that gave naming authority to people as creative as a food stain. Joe only offers a small laugh at this reaction.

“Of course you’d complain about beach names, Mr. Writer.”

He simply says, eyes laser-focused on the road to Paper Cut’s relief. The latter blabbers on, appointing himself as the main contributor of entertainment, radio be damned.

“But you agree, right?”

Asking Joe questions which answers he doesn’t even care for proves time and time again to be an effective way of providing such entertainment.

“Yeah. They should’ve named it after me. Joe Beach.”

Paper Cut pretends to gag.

“Full offense but that’s worse.”

The car is filled with boisterous laughter once more that day and the couple have a feeling that it would be far from the last time it would ensue again.

“Okay, I’ll take back half of what I said. This place is beautiful.”

Water laps at Paper Cut’s ankles. It calms his earlier nerves, from the rush to check in to the hotel Joe somehow booked in advance (Joe’s attempts at romance are one thing that Paper Cuts are not too curious about; he’d rather wallow in their mysterious nature). The view subdues his disappointment of not being able to catch the sunset. The stars carry a mystical aura of their own. Paper Cut knew this in theory, as he is a writer, but the real deal will always be indescribable, nor can it be replicated by visual artists.

“Only half?”

Joe bursts Paper Cut’s bubble of thought but he does not take offense. Paper Cut scoffs as his lover finally stands beside him.

“The place is pretty but that doesn’t make the name itself pretty too.”

Joe lets loose a laugh that’s free of any worries. A truly unbridled expression of joy, and Paper Cut finds himself completely enamored. A fond gaze turns towards Joe. Paper Cut feels his heart fill up with so much love. He feels as if he could burst, not unlike the stars above when they eventually transform into supernovas.

“You’re prettier.”

Paper Cut has to admit, he has no urge to roll his eyes at such a corny line. He doesn’t fight the blood rushing to his cheeks either.

“Shut it, will you?”

Paper Cut’s argument grows weak with the loving look that Joe gives him. No amused giggles, no profound sarcasm, only affection. In a way, Paper Cut’s wish is granted. All is silent and still, save for the tiny waves caressing their feet.

Even as they walk back to their car for the weekend, they say nothing. There simply is nothing to be said. When you’re under a blanket of stars, they do the talking for you. But gifts? Gifts are self-made efforts still.

And Joe knows what kind of gift to end the Saturday night with.

[faithlesbian]

fresh off my s7 rewatch i keep sticking on the scene after they find that potential that's hung herself in the night. buffy has to cut her down and bury her body in the garden, which is awful, but then she comes back inside to a room full of grieving, traumatised children, shovel still in hand, and says "anyone want to say a few words about chloe? let me. chloe was an idiot. chloe was stupid. she was weak."

for the rest of that scene she lashes out at pretty much everyone in some way with the reasoning that she's been "carrying them" and that they need to start pulling their weight. that scene is a tough one to watch just from how needlessly cruel she is to the potentials, watching them flinch when she throws the shovel she used to bury their dead friend is especially affecting, and while she's not technically wrong that willow and spike have both been holding back and not giving their all due to fear of their own power, verbally abusing them about it is really only gonna make it harder.

im usually a buffy stan first and a person second so watching her be so genuinely mean is hard for me, but the more i think about it the more i realise its not actually that ooc -- we know a major theme of s7 is the isolation of being the slayer, buffy acknowledges multiple times that she pushes people away and doesnt know how not to, the resolution of the main plot is her finding a way to share her power with the world. buffy's self-isolation and lashing out at her support network is an established trauma response that we first see in s2 when she's still reeling from being killed by the master. buffy in s6 had only recently started overcoming her suicidality before nearly getting raped by spike, so it's fair to say she's equally as unmoored in s7 as she was in early s2 if not way more so. in s3 she attacks a domestic abuse victim when she's struggling to come to terms with how she herself was hurt by angel, so her calling a suicidal teen "stupid and weak" after being suicidal herself actually does track. this is how buffy acts when she's at her most traumatised.

the thing that gets me about this instance compared to the others, though, is how bad a job they do at showing that. i think its pretty easy to say calling a suicidal teen stupid and weak is bad, right? doing so in front of a bunch of other vulnerable teens who are in the same boat is worse, right? no matter how unusual the circumstances, that kind of verbal abuse isnt going to help anyone "toughen up", its just abuse. but buffy doesnt apologise for any of it, willow defends her saying it, and i genuinely cant tell if she's narratively framed as in the wrong or not. buffy barely gets a chance to acknowledge just how traumatised she is this season, the PTSD symptoms she has from the rape in s6 just sort of go away after a while which is exactly how PTSD doesnt work, scenes like this get glossed over and used to build up to her friends kicking her out of her own house, which is such a majorly discoursed scene i dont wanna touch it with a barge pole but we all know that was not the ideal way to deal with any of that, right? the way she acts, which so clearly draws on how she's previously behaved when textually struggling with trauma, is never fully questioned or explored, leading to an ambiguous framing where an argument could easily be made that its meant to be seen as justified "tough" behaviour in a high stakes plot that demands it.

for the main plot to be resolved by buffy breaking the cycle that led to her original trauma, but to also fumble the depiction of that trauma an its effects, is deeply frustrating. because yes! too much had been expected of her by everyone in that room for too long! but part of the reason is her own refusal to ask for or accept help, and that distance between her and those around her is only made worse by her lashing out at them. and she deserved to process that in an emotionally cathartic way at some point before the finale

[limpfisted]

while wyll is a very well intentioned person part of the game is about subverting tropes, and to ME hes MY special princess. he is by no stretch of the imagination “perfect” n hes not SUPPOSED to be perfect, n he has glaring flaws present in the text in subtext that make him very interesting narratively

while wyll trying to fight monsters and devils to save people is objectively good

in dnd, monsters, devils, goblins, even animals in the context of this game. theyre still literally people. theyre capable of language and complex thoughts and motivations

while im not about to be like (fire emblem vc) DIMITRI. KILLS. WOMEN. wyll’s quest to be a generic lawful good human warrior male is not as black and white as he wants it to be

and he can be a hypocrite and a liar

and he can be dumb and needlessly vicious. he stands in the middle of the room with priestess guts and to her face goes “tav lets just kill her. lets kill everyone here lets blow this nasty wench to smithereens” and u have to go priestess guts i am so sorry my friend would fucking say that to you. while we are. trying. to be SNEAKY, WYLLIAM!!

he DOES try to kill karlach. he probs killed other innocent prisoners of zariel. he thought it was the right thing to do, its reasonable. but he still did it. n he never faces tbe consequences or even the guilt.in fact he only faces consequences n guilt when he does the RIGHT thing

wyll IS a very kind and tolerant person to a point but its interesting to see like. who deserves second chances to wyll. and why

like obviously being a generic goblin killer doesnt make u a bad person or anything. its good to kill momsters that are hurting ppl. but hes eventually going to hv to look back on the things hes done for mizora and the devils hes killed, and go “hm.” bc even tho he HAD to do it. he also justified it. and that makes it worse

its honestly kind of interesting he doesnt hv anything to say abt freeing 7000 hungry vampire spawn. n when ascended astarion mentions them, wyll asks how many ppl astarion has killed. “dozens, hundreds?” bro it was 7007 ppl, u know the exact number. he cant even wrap his head around it

like everything else in his life—i dont think he really knows how to weigh the burden of that decision bc he can really never let himself feel the full severity of anything without going “ok moving on” or “let my next action prove my worth.” (ie when he tells karlach hes been a beast but he still wants to prove himself, when u tell him hes a monster, he will still prove himself to the sword coast n be tbeir protector.)

its a very rich thing, hes going on his own little narrative journey here where hes realizing what kind of man and hero he wants to be, same as all the rest of them

n a part of that is coming to terms with things like balduran being a lie, n baldurs gate being so much less than he remembers

something i really enjoy abt the game as someone who considers themself an existentialist is. the burden of freedom. we are condemned to be free. despite the facticities and realities of the world n other ppls reactions to our decisions—we alone make our choices n deal with those consequences

wyll is always, always making the best of a bad situation, hes always doing the best he can, hes always doing what he thinks is right, he always tries to be kind and good and gentle to the people “who deserve it.”

but hes only human, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions

when it comes to morals and “goodness”—sometimes being guided by fairy tales and legends is…. lazy moralizing, that will lead to more pain for everyone, wyll included

wyll DID do good things for the people of the sword coast. and that matters. but u know what. everybodys got something to atone for, pobodys nerfect

again this is not a wyll hate post this is actually a WYLL IS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER AND INTERESTING CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS post lol. hes really not as goody goody as people think. he loves murder and blood tbh, just u know, the murder and blood of evil doers

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Like Minds

Hey hi hello im about to watch Like Minds (aka Murderous Intent) and apparently the only way i can watch movies now is by liveblogging them so 🤷‍♀️

(Maybe expect the LotR trilogy next idk)

Like with Remainder i have a vague idea what this movie is about. Well, maybe a bit more of an idea what this is about. All i know is there are 2 teenage murderers and a TON of homoeroticism (not canon i think but youre crazy if you dont see it)

Also this liveblog/my watching of Like Minds was heavily sped up by @catlovingwitch who sent me a lovely ask which fuckign FUELED me to do this so thank you v v much ❤️❤️❤️

Once again, i am a T Sturridge stan so this will probably be very heavy on him. Unless over the course of this i become an Eddie Redmayne stan

Spoilers be ahead

Idk why im like. Anxious? Whatever.

Its starting aaaaaa

Eddie R screaming on a train (hes thrilled)

Ooh theyre stealing stuff?? T Sturridge isnt here yet

(The way its set up is Alex (Eddie) is captured by the police and is basically giving them The Backstory™️ which is where Nigel (Tom) comes in)

Oh shit he killed Nigel

Ok so psychiatry lady is here and her name is Sally

God Alex looks so young

Ooh this is interesting and actually really good

Flashback starting

THERES NIGEL god hes pretty

Lmaooo Nigel is the new kid and hes Alex's roommate and Alex is kinda pissed lol

Thats what you get when you snoop. Alex was looking in Nigels trunk and found a taxidermied cat(??)

Lmao Nigels in the doorway like 'Do you mind?'

Oh hes so concerned about his taxidermy

'Hes weird' they say as they explode a cockroach for fun

Lmao Nigel reads books about anatomy/autopsies?? yikes

Oof Alex is pulling the misogyny card. Hes telling the psychiatrist lady shes running out of time to have kids 💀 sir youre not helping your case

"Nigel got what he wanted." "And what was that?" "Eternity."

Sally is Over It. She doesnt think Alex is guilty

Shes listening to the tape she recorded from her talk with Alex and is like 'hmmmm'

Back to flashbackss

Oh god Nigels dissecting a bird IN THE DORM ROOM

Lmaooooo i love Nigel

Alex is PISSED and is like 'the least you can do is show me some common courtesy' and Nigels like '??? K.'

Well that interview just went to shit

So Alex was kinda taunting Sally but mostly the detective dude. So detective guy comes in and is like 'Gunshot residue says you were holding the gun when it went off'

Alex asks to see his father, the detectuve is like 'he cant help you', Alex panics a little, grabs Sallys wrist snd is like 'Nigel was holding the gun when it went off, i didnt do this' and the detective dude loses it and punches him and Alex is dragged off to lockup kicking and screaming

Apparently Nigel ALSO had GSR on his hands so anybody couldve pulled the trigger

Yall need to watch this fucking movie

Ok so basically a guard runs back in and is like 'He wants to talk'. Well actually hes holding 2 guards hostage w a police baton and is pleading to be let out of the cell. He fights the guards, loses and Sally shows up as hes on the ground being cuffed again. They sit him on the bed, Alex insists he didnt kill Nigel and then starts talking about someone being 'here' and 'listening' and Sallys like '???'

Ooh ok so Alex thinks someone is talking to him im his head?? Does he think Nigel is?? We are at a flashback btw

Wait did they already steal stuff off the train??

Alex youre a bit of a brat lmao

Wait was he stealing stuff for his dad????

Ok Alex and his friends are kind of dicks

Ooh Alex is challenging the pastor dude who is teaching religious history i assume

Nigel is looking at him like hes kinda in love

HOOOO CHECK AND MATE. GET REKT PASTOR DUDE

Lmaooo Nigel keeps dead things in jars. He has a big thing of formaldehyde hanging up lmaoooo

You know what i actually kind of agree with Alex. I mean thats p reasonable

(The Headmaster (who seems to be fond of Alex) sees Nigels collection of dead animals and is trying to justify why Nigel is there and allowed to stay. Alex is the first quote)

"He's a part of your club and nobody else wanted him so youre doing the 'brotherly' thing. Yeah well does my future depend on that?"

"Thats enough-"

"No, you dont give a fuck about me or this guy the only thing that you care about-"

"Thats enough!"

"-is the amount of kudos his father's-

"I said enough!"

"No, which is fine, but just dont give me the 'brotherhood' bullshit."

Then the headmaster slaps him and is like 'This boy will be made welcome' and walks out lol

Oooh theres Nigel

Lmao he walks in, slides in behind Alex, grabs his notebook off the desk and walks out, visibly amused.

Jfc Nigel is making psychological notes on Alex and his friends

"This little shit needs to be taught a lesson"

Alex's friend, Josh, is a pos. He just made a literal Nazi joke. To Alex's credit he tells him to knock it off

At least one of his friends has 2 braincells.

Are they straight up chloroforming Nigel??? Wtf

They dragged him onto the train unconscious

Oh shit Alex is like holding him outside of the door while the steel beams to the side are rushing past them. Nigel seems out of it tbh cause hes not freaking out

Josh is lighting firecrackers and tossing them out of the train and he dropped one and freaked so Alex and Nigel got back in. Nigel went to walk away and Alex pushed him up against the wall like 'Where do you think youre going??'. Nigel just spit in Alex's face and Alex punched Nigel

Oooooohhhh shit Alex leaned Nigel out of the door again and Josh started freaking out and told him to let Nigel go and the handle Josh was holding onto the train with BROKE

Oh shit Nigel just let him fall

Like he straight up waved his hand over Josh's hand to taunt him i guess and he got sucked out of the train wtf

I feel like the thing to keep in mind here is all of this is being told by Alex and hes Not a reliable narrator

WAIT THE HEADMASTER IS ALEX'S FATHER???

Oh yeah Alex is an unreliable narrator for SURE. Besides some fondness there was 0 mention of him being Alex's father. Or maybe im just dumb which is entirely possible. Likely, in fact.

Lmao Nigel staring at Alex like a freak at Josh's funeral until his dad nudges him like 'Knock it off'

Alex's dad eyeing Nigel as he walks away

Alex and Nigel arent roommates anymore

Nigel reading basically smut in front of class (in front of Alex 😏😏) classy smut im sure but still

Alex is watching rehearsals of the play and Nigel comes up super close like 'sorry about ur friend' and is kinda. Creepy and morbid about it. Which tracks

I think its interesting that TS's facial expressions and delivery here is SO reminiscent of his role as Dream. Ive seen him make these EXACT expressions in The Sandman while talking. Its odd seeing them on a younger face tho (not in a bad way)

Oh my god Alex just got a human hand in a package. 3 guesses as to who its from? (I assume. I dont actually know. Im not gonna do my boy Nigel dirty like that)

Alex vomited and hes telling Sally that when he got back it was gone

Nigel comes into Alex's room, gives him some papers to help with his essay while Alex is yellimg at him to get out and leaves lmaoooo

My boy Nigel doesnt deserve the slander 😤😤

"How did he know i was struggling with my essay?" Youre a dumbass and hes smart

"How did he know my topic?" Idk maybe if you made an effort to know him youd find out. Im sure Nigel can be charming when he wants to be but hes not gonna be on guard 24/7 so you got to see the spooky shit hes into when you were roommates

"I mean he had answers to questions i hadnt even thought of yet." Omg could Nigel be... Smart?? Impossible. Only idiots study anatomy and dissect things. 🙄 CMON ALEX

Jfc Alex you are dramatic as hell. Hes comparing using Nigels notes to 'selling his soul'. Just get the easy A my guy

Me every time Nigel comes on screen: 🥰🥰🥰

Nigel and the dog im DECEASED

The dog doesn't like ALEX oooooo

Dogs know who you really are 🧐🧐🧐

"I've never brought anybody here before. You're the first. Okay? First."

Nigel just wants to be friends 😭😭 he brought Alex to his hideout and the first thing he asks is 'Do you like it?' 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh jfc Nigel is as crazy as Alex

God that LOOK he gives when Alex is flipping through the book. You cannot convince me Nigel isn't in love with Alex

"An implement for killing. That's what I am." N I G E L

Jesus. Alex thinks Nigel is in his head.

Alex just asked a girl (Susan) out on a date and Nigel came up afterward all friendly and tried to give him a book and Alex completely cut him off

Poor Nigel :(

Ok also poor Alex but i don't feel as bad for him cos hes an ass

Holy shit did Nigel kill someone?? Alex woke up and someone threw a knife on his desk stuck to a Jack playing card with blood

Oh my god its Susan (that girl Alex was gonna go on that date with)

Nigel this doesnt look good for you buddy

Nobody's accusing him but she was kinda.... dissected. Its pretty graphic if you watch this movie just be aware

Oh shit she was in the school greenhouse

I think Alex did it. Hear me out. Hes the one telling this story. If he did it, hes gonna tell the story in a way that makes Nigel look bad. Nigel, conveniently enough, cannot say anything otherwise. Cause he's dead. I think at the very least he did kill Nigel but telling the story this way makes him the hero for killing the big bad serial killer.

Ok back to the movie the knife and the card are gone from his desk and Alex is looking for Nigel.

Now the detective is getting statements from all the students who saw Susan before she was killed

Oooooh Alex got caught in a lie

'Ooh I sense some hostility' just kiss him already JESUS

OH SHIT. Nigel is remorseful about what happened and Alex was like 'You did it. Didn't you?' And Nigel says 'No, Jack. You did.'

(Jack is a nickname. It's explained in the movie i just don't feel like rehashing it sorry)

Alex punched him

"Well im sorry Jack but you were the one who got inside my head." OHHHHH FOLIE A DEUX

Nigel: You can fix him? I can make him worse <3

And we love him for it

Something something criticism of upper class structures (see: quote above about 'brotherhood'), parents being not involved in their kids lives and not seeing obvious signs of mental illness due to that (Nigel's... everything and Alex's authority issues, sense of grandeur and family issues)

This scene is where Alex's dad tries to get the detective to drop the charges and tries to use his connections to the detectives father to do so but he refuses to drop it.

Oh shit apparently theres no evidence Nigel did anything to Susan

Also apparently the detectives cant find Nigels parents so 🤨

Hmmm

Sally is gonna look at Nigels hideout

Damn Nigel had a TON of notebooks

Oh SHIT Nigel had photos of a sleeping girl

Nigel its really hard to defend this i hope you know that

Oh fuck theres a dead body under Nigels house

Apparently 2??

ALEX DID IT. FINAL ANSWER.

Nigel showed Alex the hideout!! Alex was the FIRST and ONLY person (besides Nigel) who knew about it!!! The bodies were fresh!!!! Alex did it. Nigel my babe ill defend you to the death Alex is a psycho

Its ride or die for Nigel Colbie in this house

Aww Nigel introduced Alex to his parents

"Helen and John, this is my best friend Alex. Hes working on the play." Oh yah rich ppl are fucked up. Imagine introducing your parents to your friend by their FIRST NAMES 🤮

Ooh he just read Nigels bible

Nigel thinks hes directly descended from the Knights Templar

See, Alex seems to be reading this like it's his first time seeing all of it. But HE BROUGHT IT UP FIRST. In that class with the pastor earlier. Nigel was watching him. This was right before Nigel started pursuing him (and i don't think this was how it happened. Hold on i'll talk about it later. I think Alex went after Nigel. And I've seen other people think this as well)

Alex's mother died while giving birth to him and he told his father that her death was his fault since he got her pregnant 😬

Oh god

Ok so

Sally found a card that said 'My beloved Maraclea' and Alex is telling her who Maraclea is

Maraclea was the lover of a knights templar in the 13th century who died and the knights templar. Uh. Had sex with her dead body. And basically 9 months later he goes back and her skull is moved from her shoulders to on top of her thigh bones which are crossed. He has to protect the skull bcs itll give them grest fortune or whatever

While hes telling her this theres a flashback to Nigel and Alex meeting up at night and uh. Theyre in a morgue.

I dont like where this is going 😣

Oh fuck its Susan

Is. Is Alex gonna necrophile Susans body

Did he do it???

Hes saying Nigel took him there to basically recreate the whole Maraclea thing but its ambiguous as to if he actually did it

Holy shit thats fucked up

So Alex is watching through the window

Nigels father found those photos that Sally found and. Um. I think those are of Nigels mother actually.

Implied incest/CSA warning (im gonna italicize it. Skip the italicized part. Nothing graphic and not even really explicitly abuse but theres an accusation being made basically. CSA bcs Nigel is 17)

Nigel is in his bed and so is his mother. Shes in a slip and hes in pajamas and his father is holding a gun and yelling and basically accusing them of sleeping together (tho Nigel is 17 and also thats his mother so uh. Yeah.)

Tbf it only incidentally looks like that and she claims they were just talking. But also i have no reason to trust her so uh. Yeah.

Oh my god

Nigels father just shot his mother right next to him.

Holy fuck.

Alex came in and grabbed the gun and asked Nigel what hes done and Nigel said she was 'chosen'

Alex points the gun at Nigel and Nigels dad gets in between them and is shot by Alex

Oh my god wtf

'Ill have my Maraclea' What. In the actual. Fuck.

And he just. Casually dumps his fathers organs into the fire.

"Dont you think they're gonna be missed?"

"Well as long as they dont find her nine months it doesnt really matter, does it?"

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Nigel i cant defend this.

Oh god Alex did it too with Susan

Tom Sturridge angry with a shotgun is something i didnt know i needed but im glad i have it

Oh shit they both did it

Nigel used Alex to kill himself

Holy shit

Alex had the shotgun pointed at Nigel and Nigel is very obviously upset and doesnt understand why Alex thinks hes the crazy one.

He told Alex to pray for him, reached up and pulled the trigger while Alex was holding the gun

ALEX WALKED????

HOLY SHIT ALEX IS MAKING HIS OWN BIBLE

HE LEFT AN ENVELOPE ON SALLYS CAR AND IN IT THERES A JACK CARD THAT SAYS 'MY BELOVED SUSAN'

Holy fuck he broke into Susans tomb and took her skull

Holy shit hes doing the same thing Nigel did to him to someone else

Roll credits

Ok ok ok wow so um.

I dont think Nigel did it

Well ok. I think the truth is somwhere in the middle. Alex is putting a lot of blame on Nigel for someone who may or may not have killed 2 people to Nigel's 1

God its so hard to collect my thoughts about this film. Also its like 2 am so uh. That doesnt help.

I think Alex had a more dominant role than he let on. Also considering how quick he was to pick up the mantle, idk. I just know while watching this i was surprised by how much Alex killed even as Nigel called himself an instrument for killing. All Nigel did that we know for certain was let a kid fall out of a train. Alex straight up shot Nigels father.

Nigel is more quiet and reclusive and morbid and Alex is more intelligent and outgoing.

Of course Alex makes a point to emphasize how morbid Nigel is and ive already pointed out how i think Alex is an unreliable narrator. Alex is smart. He knew how he needed to tell the story and he succeeded. He got off scot free.

Unfortunately i dont think Nigel would have been able to do that. Nigel was smart but not as smart as Alex. He would have slipped up

So what happened to Susan? I keep going back and forth on this. I think it could go either way. But i hate to say it. I think Nigel did it. This whole thing kinda goes back to the Maraclea thing and Nigel knew about it already. So he kills Susan and guts her so Alex has his Maraclea and he goads his father into killing his mother so he 🤮 has... his...

Basically i think Nigel is more evil but Alex had a bigger part than he lets on

Its v v complicated. Or its just 2 am idk. (respectfully) Leave your thoughts if you feel so inclined

Oh my god he said Alex killed her because in Nigels mind he chose Susan as his Maraclea oh good lord

(But Nigel is pretty and fictional so we'll give him a pass)

Im definitely rewatching this at some point. Its actually really good

Ok thats all lol bye im gonna go see if theres Like Minds fanfic

[mithliya]

thank you for pointing out (in the "regret is not rape" ugh post) that it is possible to regret genuinely consensual activity. I get what the other person is trying to say but I have had a lot of sex I regretted (fully consensual, often initiated by me) and obvi the line "regret is not rape" is misogynistic and victim blaming but suggesting the only reason a woman would regret sex is thay she didn't consent enthusiastically goes too far in the other direction. consensual sex is a human activity and it's possible to regret it just like any other human activity. that doesn't mean that women who have been raped just "regretted" the sex; those are obviously two different categories and rape apologists are just trying to obfuscate things. I just don't think it is a good response to "regret is not rape" to be like "well if it was consensual then why would the woman regret it? clearly the regret is an indicator that consent was lacking" because that just joins in the obfuscation.

anyway. sorry that you have to deal with all this shit. clearly a few someone's just hate you personally and completely lack human decency. so what if you are bi and lying? (I don't think you are to be clear) harassing you isn't helping lesbians anywhere and is just deliberate, targeted hatred. literally who gaf if someone is wrong about their sexuality on the internet. and what kind of loser cares that much about something an internet stranger did however many years ago that abusive relationship was.

feel free not to publish, I don't want to stir any more bs up for you. just wanted to say you had a good point and people are cray cray. I hope things improve for you

i do get where she is coming from & she’s right in that sometimes the “regret” is an outcome of having been coerced or pushed into sex acts u didn’t want to partake in. or being drunk n doing sth u wouldn’t actually do which is also rape in certain cases. my disagreement was mostly bc she said it’s rape 99% of the time which, i do think a lot of cases of “regret” were bc it was literal rape but idk how to quantify that. idk which phenomena is more common. but i know for example many ppl might’ve wanted to wait to have sex but a moment of passion got in the way of those plans & therefore they might regret. or feeling regret bc it’s sex out of marriage which can harm the woman’s reputation. or bc u realise the person u had sex with is a horrible person. or the sex was awful n not worth it. or u realised u don’t like casual sex and wish u hadn’t done it. there’s many scenarios that might involve feelings of regret but not rape.

the problem is the saying “regret is not rape” is very often based on misconstruing rape victims as just women that can’t make up their minds and had totally consensual sex then claimed it was rape later bc they’re just soooo crazy and want to get a poor innocent man in trouble. the reality is we know that simply regretting something does not make it rape. as u said, they say this bc they want to obfuscate things.

also literally… idk who they think they’re helping when they act like this. frankly it’s obvious they’re simply pretending it’s somehow for the sake of lesbians that they’re doing this as a way to justify their behaviour. i cant imagine someone actually being helped by these ppl harassing a traumatised woman about her trauma lmao. best case scenario for them is that their assumptions and stories are all true & i’m lying about everything. their worst case scenario is that i’m actually telling my truth and they’re actively harassing me about it and intentionally triggering me repeatedly for years while calling a rape victim they don’t even know a liar about her trauma. none of them seem to care about the very likely latter possibility.

[oflgtfol]

ok so for clarity im making this post in two parts because i had originally saved the original post as a draft but now something else has happened to complicate the situation but i feel like you still need to see the original post to know my feelings over time

[original post, drafted on august 29th:]

anyway i need a bit of a reality check on this like am i being weird and overthinking it or what

so my store has traditionally been all or almost all entirely women. the most we ever had was like 1, at most 2 guys working replenishment. we’ve had several long stretches where there was not a single male employee

my new SM is, well, a man. and we have many many problems with him for reasons that i wouldnt say are sexism but is mostly just that he’s a bad manager and the store is falling apart because of it and we’re bearing the brunt of it. especially weird dynamic because hes a 50 year old man and the entire rest of the store’s staff are all young women, at most mid 20s, and a sizeable number still literally in high school. our two full time managers, one in her mid 30s and the other in her 60s, have left for various reasons, which means that there is no sort of mediator to advocate for us anymore. its just this middle aged man overseeing a bunch of young women. add on how overbearing and bad he is as a manager in general and its like toxic lol

and so now hes finally started hiring for seasonal and its…. As far as i can tell, literally the only people calling the store saying they have interviews, have been guys.

and so i feel weird, and i feel weird thst i feel weird about it, that we’re now hiring like 5 men. but i also feel kinda justified in feeling weird because i almost feel like this is the SM pulling more weird shit. that he doesnt like this all female dynamic and is now trying to like, idk

IT FEELS WEIRD verbalizing it but hes a very condescending guy and the store is falling apart and so it almost feels like hes now giving up our current all female staff and trying to bring men in to fix it?? like he cant fire any of us women bc we’ve been here longer than him but now hes gonna bring in his own people for the first time and its all men? fundamentally changing the dynamic of the store that has been here for years longer than he’s even been with the company, and to further establish a disconnect between him and his young female staff ?????

am i overthinking it and reading condescension/superiority/whatever the word is into this. like i feel weird for being put off over hiring more than 1 dude per season but also this SM is backhanded like that so i really cant discount that there might be some weird vibes or motives behind this

[original post’s accompanying tags for the full picture:]

[new addition on september 3rd]

so now i just found out that this guy, who was literally the guy in the break room having his first day on august 29th, is being considered to be promoted to a manager

which is killing me because theres been all this talk among the managers for literally almost a year now about making me a manager and ive been indecisive because i dont know if i want to or not but ultimately its just been a “what if” situation to me because the actual SM hasnt said a word to me about it! he has never given me an offer. he has never even vaguely mentioned it to me. the only reason i know about it is bc im friends with the other managers and they tell me that hes been thinking about it for a while now

and my framing manager told me that this new guy was being considered as a new manager and i said “well. im actually kind of offended now that hes only been here for a week. meanwhile here i am” and she said “didnt SM give you an offer though?” and i told her that no the SM has not uttered a word to me about this and she was shocked

and its just. this kid has been here literally five fucking days? what the fuck? what the hell is going on. like yeah i am kind of offended actually. i still dont know if i would accept if given the offer but my indecision comes from whether i’d get an adequate raise and i cant come to a final decision without being able to negotiate my raise, which i cant do that if i havent been given the offer !!!! ive been here over two years i know pretty much everything in this store im cross trained on everything and everyone else in this store looks up to me as a non-manager superior and ive been told multiple times by the non-sm managers AND my non-manager coworkers that i should become a manager. meanwhile this guy has been here five days, ive interacted with him for two minutes, and of those moments i spent near him he barely spoke a word to me, and im sure he doesnt have the trust + camaraderie with my other coworkers yet as well, and yet SM wants him to become a manager like five days into him being hired ?!?!?

and again i dont know if i’d accept so thats why i feel kind of stupid for being offended but also like it’d still be nice to have offer ! especially compared to the guy who just started five days ago!!

[absolutebearings]

this month in i cant believe how fucking bad this thing i used to enjoy got so i salt about it in my enrichment enclosure for catharsis

as far as hild is aware all ivar did was protect his leader from being fucking murdered, and yet she still wants to kill him, because he's an Enemy Of Peace. we can guess why yukimura isn't making her try to murder the actual perpetrator, even though he changed shit around so a native american was the one initiating conflict -- because showing a white invader murdering a native american looks pretty bad, and he's done so much work to make sure the colonizers are presented in the best possible light, this would flush all that down the toilet. EVEN THOUGH THATS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SOURCE HES MANGLING. a norseman murders a native american and there's no possible way to justify it as defense, they weren't defending against a random attack but lashing out at a defenseless innocent because their presence in a land that didn't want them was making them paranoid. but we gotta stack things in the colonizers favor so thorfinn speaking Wisely about compromise seems reasonable and not horrifying in context.

this fucking sucks in so many ways -- why is it hild, the person who chased thorfinn across the world for years to make sure he never murdered again, who is the one to instantly jump into solving this with murder despite the fact that there IS NO WAR RIGHT NOW. if vs is trying to make some point about the corrosive nature of violence hild is a poor choice considering she just had her big moment of forgiving the psycho who slaughtered her family a few chapters ago and none of this has been seeded in her personality at all. being open to negotiation in her opening scene is proof she didn't really have the will to murder, and after being 'talked down' she made it a very specific point not to kill the person who wronged her unless he proved through ACTION that he couldn't be trusted to leave innocent people alone -- but she's going to now murder someone for 1. defending thorfinn even tho she doesn't think thorfinn needed it 2. being sus. THATS IT!!! he didn't even kill the guy who attacked thorfinn, just cut off his hand

FOLD A BIT WHERE??? all they have been doing since you assholes showed up is accommodate you!!! what ground do they even have left to give you fucking plague of a human?? standing in land you mutilated talking about how the people you elbowed aside to fuck with it are going to have to give you even more????? fUCK this guy, and fuck every single descendant of colonizers making excuses for this abysmal fucking story. all pacifism really does in this shitass manga is make our selfish shithead protag feel better about his many atrocities and remove the capacity for people to deny him things that he wants by infusing that desire with moral authority. it serves no other function.

lmao einar stops being a satellite mouthpiece for 2 seconds and thats enough to record scratch so we can really marinate in how Disappointed thorfinn is to be questioned about his wise pronouncements >:[ i thought u were better than this einar. thinking about hypotheticals is Ebil.

'force'. 'have to'. that this repulsive asshole thinks he has any ground to FORCE these people into a compromise that allows him to consolidate his gains is indication there is a void where his sense of morality should be. it doesn't matter how hard the author puts his thumb on the scales trying to make him look like a paragon, how many wise speeches he stuffs in thorfinn's mouth about how violents is bad, he cant hide the reeking entitlement inherent to colonization.

i cant even console myself that the native americans are going to drive these greedy assholes out and tell stories for hundreds of years about how strangers from the sea are not to be trusted like what happened in real life, because the author has been complaining on twitter about how he doesn't want to end things on a 'depressing note' as he's afraid his fans will be mad at him for finally showing real unflattering history. he wants to change everything into a happily ever after ending, is it because after years of plying them with the good colonist fantasy he doesn't think any of them are equipped to deal with the truth? one wonders. i mean why else would he think they would be mad at him? and i know i've been complaining about since it started -- that this kind of writing isn't harmless. i want to him to course correct but he doesn't even seem to notice the problem in what he's writing, and i'm not convinced he'd care if anyone made him aware of how offensive this is. i'm being obnoxious and i can't stop myself, its just -- history matters, THIS history matters, what really happened is important to understand, and it could have been a good story too

[plague-and-creatures]

There are a few reasons why I cant stand abrahamic religions but I can be chill with pagans n stuff

If I go to a pagan and say "man, zeus was a pretty horrible person, like when he turned that woman into a cow to hide that he was cheating on hera and let her get chased by a fury like that until she collapsed", they're not gonna scramble to find some reason why it was actually a loving thing for him to do and also blame Io

But if I tell a christian "man, god is a pretty horrible person, like when he sent a bear to slaughter children, or hardened pharaoh's heart so that innocent people could suffer from 10 horrific plagues, or told people that they could keep slaves so long as they weren't from their own nation," they'd try to twist it around and justify it because there's no way and "all loving god" could do things so obviously cruel, right?

Also pagans don't live anticipating death and the end of the world. A big reason why the world had gone to shit rn is because the people who caused the problems don't feel the need to make the world a better place because "it's just temporary, heaven is eternal", and also they're gonna be the first ones out of here by the time shit really gets apocalyptic (the generational "fuck you, got mine"). Also a big reason why isreal is being supported by the u.s. in their genocide is because a bunch of religious people wanted to ally with it and make sure it remains standing so revelations can happen

Seriously if christians generally didn't have such a hard on for dying and the end of the world things would probably be so much better in the only life we actually know for 100% certain we do have

Also the constant focus on where you'll go when you die fueled so much of my existential anxiety and dread and still does (because that shit leaves scars). Yea, turns out the average person is much happier when they're focused on life and not what will happen when they die

So ye, yall gotta do better. Stop trying to die and focus on what's happening right in front of you.

[lonelyalien369]

i feel like my mom is always mad at me (not always but anxiety is the exaggerator) and that's why i keep having dreams where we're fighting and i get very mad and im still mad at her when i wake up for some reason as if what she did in the dream was actually her fault. but idk. i never feel comfortable talking about my struggles with her and im not sure why. is it that im afraid of people in general thinking im begging for attention or something or am i afraid of her response specifically? my memory is so shit so i cant bring myself to a specific example but theres just this feeling in my head that if i get personal with her shes going to ridicule me for some reason. like maybe, i guess, i don't complain about work anymore because then she one ups me about how she works TWO jobs and i have sooo many days off and blah blah blah like okay man but youre physically abled and shit and im not. just because i dont have some horrible debilitating illness diagnosed doesn't mean im not fucking struggling through everyday. you dont know half the shit i go through every day because i stopped telling you a long ass time ago. i stopped when i was a teenager because no one ever believed me. why would i have reason to think anyone would now? i just get slapped with a "fibromyalgia" diagnosis and told to go home. hey, what about my balance problems? my lack off appetite and subsequent weight loss? my constant migraines? my daily pain? whatever man. she doesn't know any of it. i don't tell her. why would i ever think she would believe it? i dont know if im justified in thinking that, but im terrified of finding out, so i never do. i keep it all to myself like i always have. yep. it always works. im doing great. justt peachy. god, i feel like she barely knows me. does that make me terrible? i don't even want to talk to her anymore. i just want to silently slink off to my room for the night. i never know how to bring any of this shit up. my dad may have been explosive when it came to criticizing him, but my mom wasn't far fucking behind. and she likes to pretend they're so different. i guess i get it, i have rejection sensitive dysphoria, so even polite corrections feel like shots to the face, but i dont react by vehemently lashing out and stubbornly defending myself. i just shut up, shut down and leave to cry. but they get angry. and theyll insist they're right. and you can never ever change their mind about nearly anything. we don't talk about cops anymore. i try to stop my siblings from saying stuff like acab because i know shes going to get pissy and defensive about it. when they dont live with her they forget how sensitive she is. i used to be annoyed when theyd feel bad for me for still living with her. but fuck, i get it now. trying to build a long term relationship with her kind of just... hits this wall. you cant get vulnerable with her. it feels too uncomfortable. you feel like you're going to be judged, because you HAVE been. its not an unreasonable assumption. and its BROKEN us. where else am i going to go? i dont have a relationship, no friends to go to, and she's dependent on me too.

.... we're going to have to break the uncomfortable silence eventually. its only hard to talk if you don't try. if this keeps brewing, we're only going to drift apart. and then we'll just have a bunch of regrets...... i wonder if she thinks these things too. i wonder if she wants to be vulnerable, but doesn't want to put the burden on me. you cant exactly read other peoples minds. ..... i cant start tonight. but i.. i often find that i misread her emotional state. i tend to think shes upset with me when shes quiet . but most of the time shes just doing something and its fine. i always assume. fuck. i wish i just had a normal relationship with my parents. does anyone have that? that would be fucking nice.

[omegalaugh]

january 13th 2024

i can’t seem to get this off my mind. i cant seem to get him off my mind. i was just doing so good, i hadn’t been sad about it. now i’m feeling worthless. how am i supposed to ever get over it if everything is a constant reminder of me not being good enough. i feel like i'm placing my anger somewhere it doesn’t need to be but at the same time i feel like everything i'm upset about is fully reasonable. i have felt like this since november 2022. from the moment i felt like i wasn’t good enough it’s just continued with more examples and proof. i have always been an option. i have never been the answer. i felt like i was while i was with him. i felt like i finally had a purpose, like someone truly cared about me. looking back now, it’s clear he didn’t. i was always just an option to him, the safe choice. “oh - you’re my dream girl i love you so much” yet i was never shown that other than displays of wealth. i want to be happy more than anything in the world. i want to move on with my life, i want to love again. i hate being alone so much. if you really loved me, and thought of me as your dream girl, you would have shown it. i’m being dismissive of the times he did however with everything in the past, i can see through it. i wasn’t that special, i was just devoted. he could get away with just about anything with me. i didn’t want to lose him. i didn’t know what i would be without him, and i don’t. i haven’t been happy in a long time. like genuinely happy. there’s such a difference of being in love and loving. i love my family. i want to be in love. i want to be comforted while i cry. i want to be told it’s gonna be okay and believe it. i think it bothers me so much because i haven’t been able to be the only one for anyone. there’s always someone else. - literally had a girlfriend the entire time we were dating. - got a girlfriend after telling me we could never be serious, and continued to tell me how special i was to him then. how much he wished she was like me. what is it about me? i try so fucking hard to be the perfect girl, and that’s still not enough. there’s always going to be someone better. - literally texted - “i wish you were here instead” while i was over after holding me telling me how beautiful i am, pulling me in for a kiss before i left. - texting that guy we had both matched with. the last guy i genuinely saw hope with on a dating app, stopped talking to me and chose her over me. i don’t know what the point of it was. she never met him, literally ghosted him. i don’t think my anger is displaced. i would never do that to anyone. especially not someone that has been there for me for everything. it’s cruel. i complain so much, about how hard it is for me. does she not realize? or is she just doing it on purpose? just like he did. why does god send me the worst people? what did i do to cause this? i crave a man’s comfort so much. i just want to feel like i’m important. im so tired of everything in my life. i want to leave it all behind and be with my forever person. i want to speed past all this and just be there. i hate most of my friends and i just don’t want to be in this area anymore. i want to leave. i want to go far far away and never look back. i’ll communicate with family but i will make new friends. i will make friends with people who aren’t taking our friendship as a game. i will be happy someday. i’ll be in love again someday. i’ll have a husband i love with my entire heart and he’d love me with his entire heart. he wouldn’t just love the idea of me. he’d actually love me for me. i’d be such an amazing wife. i don’t think ill ever understand what it is. i wish someone would just fucking tell me. i need to know what it is. i need to know what makes me worse. what is so bad about me that makes it justified?

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie<3 the two hour class route anon here and i wanted to tell you that i just finished reading nothing happens. and oh god. oh gOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD JAMES ARE YOU OKAY??? I CANNOT BELIEVE THE MAN WHAT IS HE DOING WTF???? but also like... get it tho i hope u stay delusional as long as possible bc ohh he's gonna get so hurt😭😭 also him just casually saying 'we're such bros<3' abt reg after haviNG HIS HAND DOWN HIS PANTS HE'S SO UNSERIOUS ONG😭 and reg is just like '🧍‍♂️is this bitch fr-' bc wHAT is the meaning of platonic for these two

but. also. james just feeling sm love for reggie from when they meet that he doesn't even suspect he has romantic feelings for him bc he's just. always felt that way???? oh my GOD IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE

also emma😭 she's just going through it bc what kind of shit is this man pulling w her i was actually flabbergasted reading how james justified that damn kiss ong???

honestly just really looking forward to sirius' reaction to all this when he figures it out. i mean he spent like 3 years having his bsf and brother be jealous of each other for having to share him and now they're just doing whatever it is that they're doing and he cant even get mad at james bc the man doesn't even know‼️‼️ he's actually gonna go bald over these two omg

absolutely love them sm will be thinking abt these two on the route tmrw they're so so precious and silly i love them hope they get their shit together, even if its just for the sake of sirius' hair💗 thank you soo much for writing and sharing them with us i hope you have a great week<33

(also- didn't manage to complete the paper but the deadline hasn't passed yet so i'll just complete it tomorrow)

OMG HI BABE <333 genuinely don't know how u can deal with such a long commute, it takes me like . 45 min to get to work and that's already painful enough..

anyway HE IS NOT OKAY THAT'S THE PROBLEM and yes he's gonna get quite hurt, both he and reggie will be suffering A Lot and it's mostly bc they're dumb . and ridiculous . and also obsessive and toxic and don't know how to maintain a healthy dynamic. the make out scene is HILARIOUS to me, i couldn't keep a straight face while writing it, james is not real he really isn't. reg is at his fucking limit ngl. and also . quite confused

HE LOVES REGGIE SO FUCKING MUCH LIKE IT'S LOWKEY CONCERNING ATP but yeah if u stop and think about it, it does make sense, why james is unable to . distinguish between platonic and romantic when it comes to reg

I KNOWWWW i'm team james always that's my boy but also . i totally support emma, she should've punched him imo, bc what was james even saying HE WAS SO FUCKING INFURIATING DURING THAT WHOLE CONVO I SWEAR

oooooh i'm also looking forward to writing sirius' reaction, it's one of my fav parts of nothing happens, bc he does . go insane . although probably not for the usual reasons. but it's a very complicated situation and sirius is kinda . conflicted considering who are the ppl involved. IT'S SUCH A MESS he will go bald at this rate

i'm so very happy you like them so far and that ur loving this series this much <3 ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YOU'VE BEEN BRAINROTTING ABOUT THEM (me too btw ur so very real). and they will get their shit together i promise!! it's gonna take quite long and i can't promise they'll have a healthy relationship by the end of this but !! they'll sort things out <333

(good luck my love, i hope u finish it in time for the deadline, i'm rooting for u and sending u a very big hug LOVE U <3)