#I had to learn how to do line breaks in html

[toskarin]

how did you get started making music, tools-wise?

I've talked about this a bit before and I don't necessarily recommend doing this, so skip the following two paragraphs and go right to the one under the break if you actually want the method I recommend

I lied to a girl I liked from my school and told her that, because I could play guitar I could also play piano, so I could teach her to play piano. both of these statements were lies.

I had to panic and learn both guitar and piano one week ahead of the lessons I was giving her as an excuse to hang out. so I self-taught in a haze of panic and "maybe she'll like me" (she did not) (but she kind of did) (but she was bicurious) (but she was wishy-washy on if she wanted to get together and her parents didn't like me) (and her parents were homophobic) (I think she might have texted me at one point years down the line to tell me she had a girlfriend but it was after I deleted our text history and I'm chronically unable to remember to put people's names into my contacts so who knows)

but that's all an aside. that's a bad method.

anyway if you want to start making music in earnest, doing what I did when I got serious about making songs instead of trying to impress girls whose parents wanted to destroy me with their minds here's a better answer

go acquire FL Studio. it's apparently really easy to do this because people have been acquiring it for years, or so I've heard. FL is good for learning because you've got 20 years worth of free tutorials available to you on youtube to dig through and plenty of stock vsts to play with out of the box

FL Studio is, realistically, the only tool you actually need to start making music. you could get away with less, but it's what I used, and as long as you don't pick up Specific Bad Habits, your experience with it will transfer to other DAWs if you decide to switch it later

that's all, really

if you go this route, the golden rule I'm going to impart on you right now is that you need to have a limiter on your songs. the default FL studio song templates have one, so you should keep it until you know enough to know why you might adjust something like that

it doesn't matter if it sounds fine in the editor without a limiter. everyone thinks it's not a big deal at the time, but as you get more experienced, there's literally nothing short of getting in legal trouble that you'll regret more than realising that your old work is almost entirely unsalvageable because you didn't put a limiter on it and now half of the audio is just lost data to clipping

I'm gonna put a few more recommendations for things I've used, just so you can consider them if you need something else to chew on. everything past this point is entirely optional and you'll do just fine with FL Studio alone. in fact, probably don't worry about everything below the line

-=-

items marked with [F] are free.

DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATIONS THAT AREN'T FL

for tracker-based editing and chiptunes, use Renoise. you'll either love or hate trackers, and while they have a steeper learning curve than piano roll DAWs, they might come more naturally to you. I personally think that Renoise is a lot of fun to use. it kinda has an "addictive" quality to it, as funny as that is to say

for quickly sketching songs, use [F]Jummbox. it's an html workstation (multiplatform!) that writes your sketches to a url, meaning it's pretty easy to collaborate on musical sketches. Jummbox is good for making chiptune style instrumentals, but what makes it especially accessible is the fact that it works on a piano roll system, which will be familiar to you if you're working in FL

for writing sheet music, I recommend starting with [F]Musescore. I'll warn you right now that there aren't really any good notation editors and you're making lesser-of-evils decisions when you pick any of them, but it's probably the best compromise out there right now. it's the one I use when I need to hand something to a physical musician. you can also export pieces as midi, although there's better ways to do that lol

-

VSTs

if you can acquire Pianoteq, do that. if you feel uncomfortable with acquiring it, [F]Keyzone Classic is free and can sound pretty nice with a bit of work, but you really have to learn to work with it

if your workstation can handle it performance-wise, go pick up [F]Vital - Spectral Warping Wavetable Synth. there's tons of free presets for this out there and it sounds good. cool synth. Serum: Advanced Wavetable Synthesizer is also good and has plenty of presets, but it's on the pricy side, so consider how comfortable you are with [finding a friend to buy it for you]

[F]Decent Sampler doesn't do much out of the box, because it's just a tool for playing sample banks, but if you go to [F]Pianobook, you can find tons of weird and fun sample packs of just about everything you can imagine. sounds derived from folk instruments, industrial equipment, lego sets, stylophones, choirs, whatever. incredibly useful.

Valhalla VintageVerb. this is the reverb plugin. you want this one. [F]Valhalla Super Massive is also good but it's more focused on alien-sounding reverb effects and enormous spaces, so it's kind of got a niche use case and you should be a little careful with it

if you've heard a lo-fi hip hop song on youtube, it probably used [F]iZotope Vinyl. this one can save you a lot of time if you're going for that sound because it comes with all the little vinyl flourishes outside of compression (like dust crackling) that you'd otherwise have to add yourself

[F]Genny VST is advertised as giving a genesis/megadrive sound, but what actually makes it shine is that it's an actual synth emulating the YM2612 and SN76489 sound chips. this means you can create your own sounds that work within those specs, which is a lot of fun! definitely beats just using samples, if you ask me

-

HARSH VSTS THAT I PERSONALLY LIKE BUT WHICH ALSO MIGHT !!HURT!! YOU. SO BE VERY CAREFUL USING THESE.

[F]Tritik Krush is a bitcrushing plugin. it does a good job of bitcrushing and downsampling. I use it a lot in my songs, but you've really gotta know how to keep this one under control, because it's fully capable of making painful sounds on accident and can completely devour your mix

[F]FSA Latcher is a gorgeous noisebox. it screams in horrible ways and makes dying machine noises in various colours. this is the musical equivalent of working with radioactive material, so be extremely careful using this in anything you don't want to hurt the listener's ears

girlfriend just told me I have to recommend [F]Noise Engineering Ruina to you if I'm making a category with this heading. I don't personally use it, but she likes it (she's better at music than I am) and it's free, so you should go pick it up. "it annihilates sounds very deliciously" (maybe I should use it)

-

hope that helps a bit!

[bucktommyweek]

Resources for Writing

Hey everyone!

I am not necessarily the best person to ask about this but I have had a couple of conversations/asks about ao3, how it works, as well as asking for some tips if you're new to a fandom or to writing fan fiction as a whole.

I am not a great writer by any means but here are a few things I find essential and some resources/writeblr's I follow on here.

I also think fic should be as accessible to as many people as possible, just like books, so there are some tips on how to make your works more accessible.

These are also not requirements to participate in BuckTommyWeek, so please do not think that, or that I am trying to tell you what you must do to participate. These are simply tips I have found helpful over the years since learning how to to write.

- Paragraphs - 

It is better to have more paragraphs than it is to have less, especially to make your writing more accessibly paced for screen readers. Long paragraphs can make it hard to read.

Start a new paragraph when a different character is speaking. This will make it easier to discern who is saying what.

Start a new paragraph when there is a new topic/time change/event.

Start a new paragraph for dramatic effect.

Here is an example using one of my own fics.

Without paragraph breaks

In my example, we don't know that Chimney is the second voice until the word "replied" because the dialogue is squished together.

The second paragraph would be hard for some people to read but especially those with  a screen reader. The screen reader won't pause, so the pacing would be off for someone using one.

Here is an example from the same fic, only edited

We can now see with the paragraphs that the first voice (Tommy) and the second voice (Chimney) are different, even before we get to, "Chimney replied."

The paragraphs are also used for dramatic effect, in an attempt by me to help the reader understand that Buck is not only listening, but he is confused.

- Quotes -

Using quotations when someone is talking will help decipher speech from action or description. This also helps with accessibility.

Note: For anyone using Grammarly, it LOVES to remove opening quotations from the middle of paragraphs, it's done it to me so often I have tried to catch it but sometimes don't.

Example One: Sorry, I'm late, the fire was a beast Tommy said as he approached Buck from the doorway.

So are you replied Buck.

Example Two:

"Sorry I'm late, the fire was a beat," Tommy said as he approached Buck from the doorway.

"So are you," replied Buck.

- ao3 -

-Page Breaks for Accessibility -

This recommendation is mainly accessibility related and that is how you break up time jumps or scene changes within your fic when posting to AO3.

For accessibility with screen readers, what some people input as page breaks does not translate well.

This was something I didn't know until I was told but hyphens, often used as page breaks, get read aloud. It was something I never even thought of.

So if you have multiple hyphens, it will literally be read aloud repeatedly, depending on how many you have.

Example 1:

Buck pulled Tommy close, hand gripping his neck as they kissed.

---- will be read as, "hyphen hyphen hyphen hyphen," out loud.

Buck entered Chimney's hospital room ahead of Tommy.

AO3 has something that can fix this, but it does involve switching from HTML to Rich Text mode.

Example 2:

Click on Rich Text after you have copied your work in, or copy it into Rich Text mode in the first place

2. Click on the line button and a line will be inserted. This will be read as a break by a screen reader.

As far as ao3 goes, I use their own FAQ page whenever I'm looking for help on the site.

I will however show you my personal favourite part of ao3.

This button lets people know you liked their fic:

This button lets you save the fic to your ao3 account, AND you can make it private OR you can make it a Rec.

This will help other people find the fic, and you can make notes. However please note that the writer can see what you say there. I've never personally had any terrible bookmarks, but there have been some that kind of sucked, if I'm honest.

The most important section of ao3 for me as a creator, and many other creators is this.

I know comments can be intimidating, but a simple heart emoji, an "I loved this," or "This part was my fave," can really make a creator's day.

It can inspire them to write more, and to know that they are not just yelling into the void.

This got really long-winded so I do apologize but I hope I helped in some way.

-

Some writeblr's I follow myself to help with my writing: @fixyourwritinghabits @novlr @heywriters @wordsnstuff @handywritingresources

I also have my own writeblr which is under utilized for sure @projectwriteherewritenow

If you've read this far, thanks! If you have any questions asks are open or you can hit me up @evan-privileges (formerly alilypea)

Late tip: Don't use the word JUST much as I do. Dang lol.

[thethinkingaurora]

Yo. How do you code? (I only know the basics to HTML and CSS :/)

Idk which specific question you’re asking, like like how do I code as in what tools do I use, or what do I do and what is my process, or how did I learn to code, or can you teach me to code

And because I don’t know I’ll answer all of them :3

1. What tools do I use?

I use a few things to code, VS Code for actually writing the code, GitHub for storing projects and collaboration, Google and StackOverflow and depending on the project various other apps

2. How do I do it and my workflow process

Uh I have like no idea, I kinda just learn how certain things work via Google and then I slot them together, But the workflow process, I know exactly how to do that, ok so get a white board or a notepad or something, write what you want your program to do, and then break it down into steps and then break it down again and again, so for example,

For my current project, (The Incorrect Quote Generator), I need to take inputs, from a list of quotes choose one that fits the parameters, replace names in the quote with the inputted ones and then print the whole thing

Breaking down the first bit I need the inputs, what inputs do I need? I need the amount of characters and the names of the characters, ok done, second bit, take the quotes, sort them based off of character amount, using the amount of characters from the previous step, pick a set of quotes that match, replace the names, last bit, take the quote with it replaced and done

Breaking down again, first bit, done already, second bit, do we want something like autocapitalisation to make it nicer , yeah sure, what about capitalising the entire name if it fits the circumstance, makes it smoother, done, last bit done

Ok what about formatting, do we want all of this on one line or do we want separate lines for each person speaking, yeah we want separate lines, ok use an “&” symbol to represent a space and when the piece of code that assembles the end string encounters it, print the string and reset continuing from where we are to make a new line

That’s the design process for that

But first you make a prototype of it, to see if it works, like I didn’t have the autocaps or anything at first, I only added that when one of the submissions needed it

Anyways-

3. How did I learn to code

Through a number of ways, first I had gone to this computer club thing when I was like 8 or something and I found Scratch and learned about that, then when I was about 10 I was curious about html and websites, so I ended up making websites for classmates, then lockdown hit and I had nothing to do, I wanted to make a game, so what did I do? I jumped headfirst into Unity and struggled to get absolutely anything done (DON’T DO THIS), at some point I ended up joining this thing called Coderdojo which is like a coding class which worked really well (I actually still go there every Saturday although I’m at more advanced stuff now) and I learned about python and then kept learning more, then I made my own projects and learned more on my own from that

If you are looking to learn on your own, I’d recommend W3Schools, they have tons of courses, are entirely free and very in depth

But first I’d recommend you check out Scratch, it’s great for learning how to think in computer terms

4. Can I teach you to code

I know this probably wasn’t what you were asking but I’ll answer it anyway

Sure, I’d love to, coding one of the things I enjoy a lot because it combines logic and making things, and I love helping and teaching people things so teaching someone else to code sounds good to me :3

Stuff mentioned here

[annefic]

im new to the anne fan club and love all of the fics about her and tim on ao3. i would like to write one, do you have any tips on how to start?

Figure out what you want to write about (both when it will be set and how that fits into the timeline of their relationship, and what you want the actual conceit of the fic to be). If it's set in a period or place that you have no personal knowledge of, do some research to make sure you're not including anything wildly anachronistic or unusual. (In particular with Anne - writing about horses can cause problems if you're not as much of a Weird Horse Girl as she is! It happened to an Emmy winning TV series, it can happen to you! Find a Weird Horse Girl to check it over for you!)

Once you have that in hand, it helps to make a chart or plan for your plot (if what you're writing has a plot 😏), just like when you learned to write stories in school. What happens at the beginning to kick things off; what builds up the tension to the climax; and how do things resolve at the end? (Okay, maybe this also applies to porn after all...) When you have an idea for the order things will happen, you can kinda pick whichever event inspires you the most and write it, and then work on the others and filling in the gaps. This is especially helpful for longer stuff where you might know what you want to wind up with as the climax but you're not sure about every step along the way.

Once you finish the draft, there are at least three editing passes you need to make.

Check for plotholes and other inconsistencies that require considerable deletion and rewriting to make the story make sense. Readings for accuracy and sensitivity from a beta go here as well.

Check for poorly written passages that require rephrasing to communicate their point clearly. A general beta reading goes here.

Copy-edit for spelling, grammar, usage and formatting. Britpicks go here as well, if you're into that.

Once you've done that you're ready to post! If you put it on AO3 you will need to make one more copy editing pass after you paste the fic into the text box - AO3 likes to fuck with formatting and may not preserve all the line breaks, punctuation, bold/italics/etc. you originally had. Using the rich text editor will make your life easier, especially if you don't know basic HTML/markdown.

Hope that's something to get you started! Welcome!

[enigmalea]

Why I Contributed to FujoGuide

If you follow me here or mastodon you may have noticed that I've been reblogging/boosting a lot of posts for something called The Fujoshi Guide to Web Development (@fujowebdev). There's a good chance you followed me or know me from the Dragon Age fandom where I run communities, events, and zines and write fanfic, and you might be wondering why the sudden and drastic departure from my normal content. Why would a writer contribute to something related to webdev? Why have you stopped seeing thirst for Dragon Age characters and started seeing… whatever a FujoGuide is?

The answers to those questions (and more!) are below the cut.

My Coding Journey

I wrote my first lines of code in 1996 (yes, I'm old AF). It was the early days of the internet and tutorials for how to make your own websites were literally everywhere. You couldn't go more than two clicks without finding a how-to written in plain language. But it was painstaking and tedious. CSS didn't exist yet (literally, I started coding about six months before it was released) and even when it appeared it wasn't widely adopted or supported.

It was the "glory days" of Geocities, Myspace themes, Neopets, and Livejournal. If there was a cool site, you could use HTML and/or CSS to customize it. I honed my skills by coding so many tables character profiles for RPs, creating themes, painstakingly laying out user info pages, and building my own site.

Gradually, things changed. Web 2.0 showed up with locked down profiles and feeds you couldn't customize, free website hosts became more difficult to find, and point and click page builders became the way of the web. Shortly after, I took a long break from fandom; frustrated and disappointed with site closures, lost communities, and general fandom wank… it felt like it just wasn't worth it anymore.

I eventually came back, and when I did it meant customizing themes, figuring out how to create tools for my communities, coding tumblr pages (and learning they're not really supported on mobile), and looking at automations for my common tasks. One day, I woke up and thought, "I'm going to make a Discord bot… it can't be that hard."

So, I did it.

An Unexpected Friendship

About a month after I launched my bot to the public, I received a random Discord message from @essential-randomness. A friend had told her about my bot, and she was working on BobaBoard which needed volunteers. I was shocked. First, people were talking about my bot. Second, I wasn't a real coder. I didn't know anything! I just googled a bunch of stuff and got something working. I had no idea what I was doing.

She assured me it was okay. She was willing to teach me what I didn't know - and most of all, that she wanted my help. I took a day or two to think it over, and fatefully filled out the volunteer form. I didn't know if I could be useful or how I could be useful, but I wanted to try.

Programming Is Awful

In the years months that followed, I spent a lot of time in @essential-randomness' DMs complaining about programming… at least once I realized she wouldn't judge me. I was still very much doing things the hard way, taking hours to update a site to add a single link on all the pages. I knew there were easier methods, but I either couldn't find them or once I found them, they were filled with dense jargon which was terrifying.

"An all-in-one zero-javascript frontend architecture framework!" Is that even English? "A headless open-source CMS." Cool. Sounds good. "A full-stack SSG based on Jamstack extending React and integrating Rust-based JS." Those sure are words. With meanings. That someone knows. Not me, though.

I spent so much time looking at what sites claimed was documentation and losing my mind because I had no idea where to even start most of the time. With @essential-randomness' encouragement, I kept at it, experimenting with new things, and jumping in headfirst even when I had no idea what I was doing. And I was so glad. Where I used to struggle keeping one website updated, last year I managed to deploy and update 7 websites. Yeah, you read that right. It was amazing.

The new stuff made it all much, much easier.

An Idea Is Born

Meanwhile, we spent hours discussing why it was difficult to get fandom to try coding. Part of the barrier was the belief you must be some sort of genius or know math or that creative/humanities people can't do it. It is also partially coding communities being unfriendly to newbies and hobbyists; a culture which often thrives on debasing people's choices, deriding them for not understanding, and shouting rtfm (read the fucking manual) and lmgtfy (let me google that for you)- all of which are unhelpful at best and humiliating and abusive at worst. The tech dudebro culture can be unforgiving and mean.

The number of coding-based Discords I've left far outnumbers the ones I've stayed in.

We determined what fandom needed was a place for coders of all skill levels to come together to help and support one another; where they could learn to code and how to join open-source projects they love, and where they could make friends and connections and show off their projects whether they were new or experienced programmers.

And thus… Fandom Coders was born.

What About FujoGuide?

Of course, running a coding group and working on BobaBoard together means we spent a lot of time talking about the state of the web. We both lamented over poor documentation, jargon-rich tutorials, and guides which assume a baseline of knowledge most people don't have. What we needed to do was provide tutorials which start at the beginning… from the ground up (what is a terminal and how do I open it?) without skipping steps. What we needed to do was make those tutorials fun and appealing.

I don't remember exactly the journey it took to get us here if I'm honest. I have no clue who said it first. But I do remember I first started thinking about anthropomorphizing programming languages when we attempted to cast the languages as the Ouran High School boys… and again when I suggested we do a [TOP SECRET IN CASE WE DO IT] group project in Fandom Coders to help people learn about programming.

What I do know is that as last year ended, @essential-randomness became laser-focused on creating our gijinka and moving forward with FujoGuide… and I couldn't say no.

Okay, But… Why Contribute?

To be honest, it's not just that I was around for the birth of the idea. It's ALL of the things in this post - the culmination of three years of frustration trying to figure out what I'm doing with coding, of wading through dense documentation, of wanting to give up before I even start. It's three years of dipping my toes into toxic techbro culture before running away. All added to decades of watching the web become corporate-sanitized, frustratingly difficult to customize, increasingly less fun, and overtly hostile to fans who dare enjoy sexual content.

To sum all of this up, it's the firm belief that we desperately need a resource like this. Something that's for us, by us. Something that builds fans up, instead of tears them down; that empowers them to create for themselves and their communities what no one is creating for them. It is a project I'm deeply passionate about.

And I can't wait until we can bring it to life for you all.

[unluckyadept]

Do you still continue the story of Felix or have you stopped?

//I'm not sure if you're asking about IALS₁ (“It's A Long Story”), which chronicles the events of The Broken Seal and The Lost Age, or if you're referring to IALS₃ (“It's Another Long Story”) which covers the events after the first Mourning Moon and before the second Mourning Moon.

In both cases, I have been working behind the scenes.

For IALS₁, I have been working behind the scenes for a long time. I had a tentative plan to resume working on v2.0 in 2025, and then in 2026, but as of now that's been pushed back to 2027 at the earliest due to restructuring my life to have more balance to it.

The thing is, I am not sure how I'd actually post the story, because Staff—in their infinite “wisdom”—changed how HTML posts work and practically gutted ALL the necessary components I use for storytelling, which include (but are not limited to):

1.) The ability to have multiple links in the same line of text without breaking 2.) The ability to center text 3.) The ability to use a Read More in an HTML-edit-type post 4.) The ability to use hover text at all 5.) The ability to use text shadows at all 6.) The ability to use font colors of my choosing

Any post or draft made after mid August 2023 is affected by this change, but posts and drafts made prior are still able to be edited and work properly/fully/as desired. So my options are either:

1.) Find 261 non-reblog posts on unluckyadept to recycle into story posts 2.) Git gud and learn some more CSS to make my own website (something very basic, but functional) to be able to post things that will display the way I want them to display or 3.) Pray Staff changes how HTML posts work so that things are fully functional again

The way HTML posts work now is so limiting, so bad that I will choose Door #2 if I absolutely have to. 💧

As for IALS₃, re: what are, for Felix, “current” events…

There are actually two posts detailing certain events—most notably the rise of the first Mourning Moon—that have taken place since early 2022. Other events have been written out and only shared on Discord.

To put it briefly (and trust me, this IS the SHORT version):

The Tolbi Empire wishes to use Lalivero's coastline to launch a fleet to sail for Lemuria, to capture it and make use of the life-extending waters. To this end, they have tried invading Lalivero again multiple times, with the war starting in full with their first invasion of recent years.

Felix accepted the responsibility of being in charge of Lalivero's defenses as they resist the Tolbi Empire. To this end, he has maintained the Nol Gate (more on that below) and the Suhalla Gate—and for a time in 2022, was on the offensive, even taking a key stronghold from the Tolbi in the summer. The war turned for the much worse a few months after that, though, and they've had some pretty heavy losses. He's become convinced over these last few years that he has no choice but to strike for the heart of the Tolbi Empire, as absolutely deadly as that may be for him and those who go with him.

Sheba has been helping her father in running Lalivero itself. For a while, she was crucial in maintaining the peace between refugees from Suhalla (which was razed in 2020, but later recaptured) and the native Laliverans. The Suhallan refugees mostly returned to Suhalla after it was recaptured, and Sheba became busy helping the Laliverans flee to Contigo in a diaspora that has greatly reduced the population remaining in that part of Gondowan.

Prox has become involved with helping Lalivero resist the Tolbi; Prox itself has taken Loho (which was abandoned some time ago by the dwarves after they finished excavating it) as a stronghold to defend the Western Sea (and particularly to serve as the first line of defense for the Kalt Islanders and the Northern Reaches).

During the last few years, several Proxans have been promoted to Warrior status. I have names for several: Kalora, Eleanor, Orynar, and Falkner. Kalora and Orynar are in charge of Loho's defenses. Eleanor and Falkner are with Felix to assist him in running the two Gates that block the way to the Tolbi: the Suhalla Gate and the Nol Gate. (The Nol Gate is located in the mountains Felix raised up West of the Nol River to cut off easy access to Lalivero, a feat which spent him so thoroughly that he was unable to use Psynergy again for quite a while.)

After being officially exiled by the Senate following the lighting of the beacons, Piers dedicated his life to helping negotiate commonly agreed maritime law for the budding fleets of the Eastern Sea. He was able to keep Briggs and (and now Eoleo, too) in check for the most part, but THAT came to an abrupt end when Xian (who had been aggressively seizing territory for a while) declared open war on Champa (among others). As of now, he's very busy with that conflict.

Felix is actively working on preparing for the foray, but it takes a lot of time to do that and he has to be very careful in how he goes about executing his ploy. I hope to have the opportunity to write out his misadventures with that plan, but it probably won't be until late Autumn this year, maybe later than that… and if I get the time and energy for it, I'm not sure if I will post it openly, either. It's going to be one of those “The ‘Read More’ exists for a REASON, you fool” loooooooooooong posts (or series of posts), but remember what I said about Read More not working right? ☹️ There's that, and I can count the number of people who -might- be interested in reading that content on one hand—which is a pretty big damper on motivation even when the inspiration does exist.

Thank you for the Ask; I'd be happy to answer more questions if you have them!

—T.

[hotarutranslations]

Gelato

Evening

📚non-no

📚VoCE

📚Up To Boy

Thank you very much, to everyone who checked out each of these😌🤍

It seems like there were a lot like, I preordered, so it'll arrive soon..!

Please look forward to it~~

This weekend on Saturday there is a concert in Miyagi, and on Sunday we'll be in in Fukuoka at PayPay Dome!

Exciting🌻

For Miyagi, I'm really looking forward to ittt💙

Its 1 performance, how fast…

Lets have fun!

From the east to the west the next day

Being able to stand at PayPay dome, Its an opportunity I'm really really happy about, There is a lot I want to enjoy as well🤍

After the match, there is a bit of time but, Lets probably fire it up! at the mini live!

I'm also looking forward to the circus 🫣🫣lol

Its forecasted to be really warm, Since there is a warning on the homepage, Please take care when coming to the venue…!

Really!

That is, on the day to day…!

No matter where you go can't travel without breaking a sweat… Take precautions towards moisture, salt and sunlight!

At the airport on the day of the Hokkaido performance,

Oda, Nonaka, Maria and I, Bought gelato,

and we had fun taking photos in front of the big HOKKAIDO monument like we're tourists🫶🏻 lol

Really, again,

Going somewhere every weekend.. Its different from traveling because I go to a venue every time but, Even then going to various places,

I think its fun~~🫶🏻

With this,

Until buying the gelato, we were each doing our own thing,

I was in a straight line for the gelato, Nonaka was a little lost finding milk, Oda had stopped to get a crab bento, Maria was heading left for some reason,

lolol

We each had our own thing but, We finally got together for gelato🤭🤍

Don't forget to apply for the autumn tour!

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!" September 14th~November 25th 34 performances nationwide

🎫FC Advance Reception 〆Deadline July 26th at 5:00PM

Play▶️List

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺Hello Pro Dance Gakuen Season 11

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[jimbleswrites]

Pantheon 2022

A/N: wow, it's been a hot second. i feel like i say that every time but it's the truth. between IRL issues, ADHD and depression kicking my ass, and my job changing my hours every week, i have had no time or energy to write. but in the words of my dad, "the world keeps spinning, so learn to roll." also apparently tumblr's line break is not working in rich text, and the html option isn't working either. so y'all are gonna have to scroll. shoutout to this hellsite.

Chapter 11: The Escape

I was meditating on my bed, simply thinking of options to leave. I had looked the room over for any options twice and found nothing. The cuff attached to the bed, while letting me reach the toilet and sink, was not long enough to reach the other walls or the door. The left cuff continued to beep, with no sign of stopping. I sighed a little, the silence making the time feel so slow. I wished I could reach out to Vida for some guidance.

“Yeah, I could do that.” Her chipper voice popped into my head.

OK, cool, Vida was talking to- wait, wait?

I opened my eyes, looking around to see no one in the cell. Yet I could have swore that-

“You did hear me. I’m just in your head.” Vida spoke clearly from nowhere.

I was confused. How is she-

“I’m a goddess, I can read minds and all that. I also keep tabs on you so you don’t get out of your league. Like you are now.” Vida giggled, more amused at the situation then I was.

I closed my eyes again. Having Vida to talk to again was nice. I needed to know where I was.

“Nice to talk to you too. You’re currently on a United Nations Sea platform, in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.”

OK, so I'm somewhere on the sea. No problem, I'll just open a portal and… no, they could have cameras everywhere, I needed to make sure I was out of here before I could try for a portal. Maybe I could grab a boat and shove off.

“All they have are life rafts for emergencies. Not impossible, but not fast or discrete for an escape.” Vida chimed in. “Most personnel come in from airdrops or plane refuelings.”

So I could grab a plane instead? I don’t know how to fly a plane, and I doubt anyone here would help me escape. Maybe I could stowaway? That seemed like the safest choice. I looked up at the security camera in my room. The lens stared back at me. There wasn’t any way to sneak out that they wouldn’t see.

“You’re so focused on using aura for fighting, when you could do so much more.” Vida spoke, obviously hinting me into something. I looked closer at the camera’s base, noting a small wire that connected to the wall. The light on the camera blinked as I focused. A small golden sword formed next to the wire, out of the camera’s view. I was able to move the sword cautiously next to the wire, slowly cutting through it. As the wire finally cut in two, there was a small spark and the light on the camera stopped blinking. I finally had some privacy from my captors.

“Not bad, but still a weapon.” Vida sounded smug as she continued. “How about the cuffs next?” I looked down to my right cuff, the simple metal chain clicking as I lifted my hand. I formed another sword, only to find the metal tougher than the wire. Vida laughed a little, but I thought of something else. I formed my aura into an orb on my finger, and it sloshed around. It was similar to what I had done before, but not what I wanted. I focused on my vision, and the orb began to bubble, then spark, before becoming a small flame. I smiled as I moved my makeshift blowtorch to the chain, heating it until it dripped apart, freeing me. I quickly did the same to my left cuff, the beeping stopping as the melted cuff fell off me.

“Alright, hot stuff, well done.” Vida congratulated me. “But now you need to actually leave the base.”

I needed my stuff. I don’t suppose the goddess watching me would happen to know?

“I do happen to know!” Vida beamed. “Go down the hallway until the third door on the left, then check the locker in the back.”

I repeated my fire trick on the door’s lock, then slowly looked outside. There didn’t seem to be any guards at the moment, so I quickly walked to the door Vida described. The base’s cold gray walls didn’t do much to show where you were, but I found the room and looked inside. It was also empty, with several lockers and cases. I opened the door, found my locker, and got back everything except my phone. If only someone knew where it was…

“Yeah, yeah, hold on.” Vida was quiet for a moment. “There’s a research lab across the hall. They’re trying to crack it open with some program.”

I quickly changed into my clothes, then moved to the lab door. I looked inside to see someone hunched over a computer. I crouched out of view, and cracked the door a little to see if they’d notice. They didn’t even move, their back facing me as I fully entered the room. I now recognized him as Dr. Prunty that was running some program. I then noticed my phone plugged into the computer, putting two and two together. Now it was a question of how to get my phone. I moved to be fully out of view, when Dr. Prunty sighed loudly. He was checking his own phone and seemed to be annoyed by something.

“Of course he wants more firepower.” Dr. Prunty muttered to himself. He was busy tapping away on his phone and ignoring everything else. I focused my aura toward the cord connecting my phone to the computer, hoping to break it without being noticed. A small section of it glowed gold, before smoking a bit and snapping apart. The computer beeped in response, popping up with some error messages. Dr. Prunty groaned, seeing the cord broken, and began to turn. I came forward, grabbing him in a headlock and covering his mouth as soon as he saw me. I pulled us back down out of sight of the window.

“You aren’t going to scream if I take my hand away, are you?” I prompted. Dr. Prunty nodded, and I took my hand away, still holding him down.

“You’re insane! You think you can just walk away?” Dr. Prunty hissed. “We’re-”

“On a sea base with all the planes on a schedule, yeah yeah.” I cut him off.

Dr. Prunty looked surprised. “How did you know? Actually it doesn’t matter. I don’t think Commander Leblanc will hold back if he finds you again.” He wiggled a bit against me, but had no real way to break free. “Look, maybe if you answer some questions, we can make your accommodations better.”

I was a bit insulted by the offer, but it wasn’t like I was going to tell him anything anyway. “Listen, I’m getting off this rock, and I just need to know when the next plane comes in.”

“And if I don’t talk?” Dr. Prunty asked.

“Look, if you don’t tell me anything, then I just have to get the info from someone else. And I'd really prefer to not have a trail of bodies leading back to me.” It was a complete bluff but they already thought I was a criminal, so I decided to lean into it.

Dr. Prunty gulped. “There’s a shipment of food coming in about 20 minutes. Helipad 2.”

“See, that wasn’t that bad.” I squeezed my arm, knocking out the doctor. He’d be fine, but I needed him to stay hidden until I escaped. I went over to the computer, grabbing my phone, and began to look for any files on me. The computer was seemingly blank, but I made sure to melt the drives inside with my aura to make sure. Now I just needed to make my way to the helipad.

“Just follow my directions, Robert.” Vida began, and I set off to escape.

The route out was mostly uneventful. A few close calls, but I was able to get up to the Helipad with no one the wiser. I found a few crates I was hiding behind, and the shipment should be here in a few minutes. The main issue now was getting onto a plane while it was being unloaded. I heard some people shuffling around, and looked up to see a helicopter in the distance flying in. I laid in wait, hoping to get a window once the people were distracted. Suddenly, the alarms started going off, with red lights flashing and a blaring siren.

“SUBJECT PALADIN HAS ESCAPED! LOCK DOWN ALL RAFTS AND HANGERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!” A voice yelled over the intercom. The helicopter slowed to a halt, hovering there. My exit was forced to stop, with the people at the pad awkwardly standing there. I needed to get that helicopter to land, or at least close enough to get on board. I looked around for something, anything to help. There were some crates, people staring at the copter, a small station with some controls to something. Maybe there would be a radio to tell the pilot to land? I began to move away from the crates, keeping myself near the wall. Luckily, the workers were just making small talk, likely more annoyed than concerned. I managed to get within reach of the panel, only for the doors to suddenly open. I dove behind the console, with it barely covering me from view as someone walked in. A guard in body armor entered, locking the door. He motioned the helicopter to land, and was slowly checking some crates on the other side. The helicopter lowered down, touching down while keeping the rotors spinning. The guard seemed preoccupied checking crates, so I decided to make my move.

I slowly moved into the open, quickly sneaking to the copter. The others on the platform were busy searching boxes, so moving around undetected was pretty easy. I hid myself behind some netting, keeping an eye on the main doors. The alarms kept blaring, as eventually the guards gave up, returning to normal posts.It was clear no one was going to leave until the alarm stopped, and that only happened if I was caught. Not an option.

“Just fly the helicopter out. It’ll be easy.” Vida popped back in my head. “I’ll give you the basics.”

This was a terrible idea. The moment that I started to fly away, I would probably be shot down. But I only had to get far enough away to portal back to Vida’s plane. Which meant not being in range of people seeing, then the helicopter could crash and I would be ‘lost at sea’.

“A D.B. Cooper plan? I like it.” Vida chuckled. “The engine is still running, so just grab the pilot’s chair and I'll start filling you in on how to fly.”

I moved forward, sneaking behind the pilot. The woman flying was busy looking at her phone, not even paying attention. I pulled the seat belt loose, scaring the pilot, and quickly pushed her out of the helicopter. She fell to the ground, as I sat in the seat. I was suddenly rocked with a flash of several images, diagrams and mechanical blueprints, like a migraine, but only for a moment.

“Congrats, you can fly it now.” Vida spoke. “Sorry for the headache.”

I looked at the panel, now recognizing the dials and instruments. Vida beaming all that info in my head was definitely not what I thought would happen, but that thought was cut short by the doors opening to reveal Commander Leblanc storming in. Our eyes locked, and his were full of rage. I started throttling, trying to lift off as soon as possible. The helicopter started to rise away, only for me to hear thudding behind me as I flew away.

“You’re not going to escape me!” Leblanc was yelling, grabbing the landing rail. I quickly gave the motor more power. I looked back, only to see several guards with guns taking shots as I cleared the base. I heard pings as bullets struck the copter, but I was now outside the landing pad. The helicopter swung as I tried to steer towards open water.

“Confirming Visual.” The radio buzzed to life, apparently tuned to the base’s channel. “The commander and the prisoner are heading North via helicopter. Holding fire until outside of base.”

Well, that was a relief, at least until Leblanc came over the same radio. “NO, FIRE NOW! THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER!” The order rang between the radio and the commander, echoing as I looked to see him still hanging on, trying to climb in.

There was a pause, as if the guard had paused to think about this, then the gunfire got louder. Gatling guns rang out, sending lines of bullets into the air. I managed to fly the copter to the edge of the sea platform, just in time to hear beeping going off. Something had been hit, and the helicopter was slowly losing power. The motor sputtered, trying to spin. I looked down to see the sea below. This was my chance. I set the helicopter into a nosedive, then kicked open the door. I tried to jump out, only to be grabbed by a metal hand.

Leblanc had a rage in his eyes, completely vacant of logic as he held me in the cockpit with him. I struggled against his grip, trying to break away, as he leaned in closer. “No more clever moves, no more escapes.” Leblanc breathed heavily, swaying as the helicopter dropped. I looked down to see the water coming up closer and closer. I realized he meant to have me crash with him.

“We’ll both die!” I tried to bargain with him, even if it would buy me a second to think.

“Then I’ll die happy, knowing I took you down.” Leblanc locked eyes with me, grip as tight as ever. The helicopter finally fell into the water, immediately taking in water. Leblanc had me pinned to the inside of the body, water quickly filling inside. I struggled against the metal, taking a breath as water enveloped the space. Leblanc and I fought each other as the wrecked copter sunk farther into the sea. The sea water stung my eyes as I tried to break free from his grip. He kept me in his reach, punching me as I tried to move. I started to feel faint, I needed to make a move. I focused behind Leblanc, with golden sparks spawning in response. A portal spawned into being, and I put my last strength into a push, tackling us both into somewhere new.

[askrighthandrecollections]

Prologue: Revelations of the Heart

The drone of the airship engines was a familiar thing to the Right Hand Man as he lay awake in bed, his wide-brimmed top hat hanging off the bedpost. The lateness of the hour did nothing to ease the man into the land of dreams, indeed, he was still far too alert, his thoughts too noisy for sleep to claim him. For once, it wasn’t his years of training as a Toppat Enforcer that kept him awake.

He was plagued with worry.

It gnawed at him, strengthened by memories of things that had yet to come to pass. Of things that could still happen, death in multiple ways and on repeat. His own death never phased him, he knew he would die as he lived, protecting the clan until his last breath. It was the death of one man in particular that ate away at him. Numerous deaths he knew had happened, even after Right himself had met his end.

He knew and he hated it.

He heaved himself upright with a sigh, half expecting to see the gleam of metal in the corner of his eyes and reminding himself that he was hale, hearty, and whole. No cybernetics.

Yet.

Reaching out towards the wall, he fumbled for the light switch, and momentarily blinded himself as the overhead light blinked to life.

He groaned as he waited for his eyes to adjust. Clearing the spots from his vision, he got up and padded over to the small desk in the corner of the room.

His quarters were simple. A bed to sleep in, a wardrobe to store his clothes, a desk so he could work in peace, and a bookshelf he used to store the small amount of knickknacks and treasures he’d accumulated during his time in the clan.

Sliding into the rickety old desk chair, he grabbed the notebook sitting near the top corner of the desk and a pen from the “Big Banana” coffee mug he used as a pen holder. Opening the book to the most recent page, he checked over his notes.

I forgot how much of a bastard Terrence is. Just seeing his ugly mug makes me want to punch his lights out, but I can’t risk Reg not becoming the leader. It is tempting though.

Got “upgraded” again, that’s the fifth time I’ve gone through this.

Dunno if Henry’s an idiot or genius, half the time he kills himself and the other half he kills everyone else.

Really starting to hate those CCC blokes. Bit too trigger happy.

I do not get paid enough to deal with this crap. But I put up with it, for the Toppats, for Reg. Seriously, who just goes and steals an entire rocket?

One good thing about being in prison is that I get to sit back and watch the show, Reg and I even share a cell.

He added a new entry.

Having Henry be a competent leader would’ve been nice. Might’ve even respected him a bit, you know, if he hadn’t killed me, my boss, and the rest of the clan multiple times in a dozen different ways.

Right set the pen down, staring at the page. It seemed that this cycle of repetition was endless. Wake up with Terrence as Chief and the clan being run into the ground, die several years down the line, or live just long to see the clan off in safe hands.

And it all revolved Henry.

The thought made his blood boil and he exhaled sharply as he pushed the indignation and fury aside in an effort to focus. Here he was, years, lifetimes of experiences under his belt but he couldn’t act on it. Not when he had a duty to the clan.

He’d sooner jump off the airship than leave Reginald by himself. Right steadfastly ignored the other feelings wrapped up in that thought, it wasn’t his place. Reginald was destined to become Chief, to lead the clan into a new golden age. It was his duty as an Enforcer to protect the high-ranking members of the clan, and he had been made Reginald’s Right Hand minutes after denouncing Terrence.

He ran a hand through his hair, idly wondering if he should grow it out this time or keep it cut short. Staring at his notes didn’t provide any further insight to his situation, nor magically offer a solution.

Be a hell of a lot simpler if I could talk to Reg about it. He thought and blinked.

What was stopping him? What was stopping him from doing anything? Even if Reg didn’t believe him, he’d certainly play along and humour Right. Even passing off the situation as a side affect of his Sands of Time was believable enough since Right had no idea what was causing this in the first place.

For all he knew, it could be his Spirit reacting to something, he wouldn’t know. Hadn’t used the thing in years because no one else had one and it would be dishonourable to use it otherwise.

He glanced up at the clock mounted on the wall by the door and grimaced at the early hour it displayed. It would be some time before anyone was awake, let alone an early bird like Reginald.

With another sigh, Right put his pen and book back where he found them and stood up to head back to bed.

The door to his quarters opened with a hiss and he turned around, wide-eyed as a bleary-eyed Reginald walked in, still in his sleepwear.

“Uh, somethin’ wrong Reg?” Right asked.

“I was about to ask you the same question,” Reginald replied, groggy. “It’s 3am, what are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep.” He replied honestly with a shrug.

Reginald peered at him for a moment.

“If something’s bothering you, you can always tell me.”

“I know Reg, not now though, go back to bed,” Right waved him off. “I’ll tell you in the morning over breakfast.”

“Hm… I’ll hold you to that.” Reginald looked at him sceptically before leaving the room to return to his own quarters.

Right stumbled back and sat on his bed, sagging as he rested his head in his hands.

What was he going to tell him? How was he going to tell him? He spared a glance over at the notebook.

“Screw it.” He muttered.

Reginald had unknowingly forced his hand and backed him into a corner. He almost preferred this, having the decision to share his concerns be out of his hands was like ripping off a band-aid, quick and to the point.

He spent the rest of the early hours of the morning both dreading and anticipating the conversation.

Right felt far more alert than he should be as he shambled into the airship kitchen several hours later. He’d chucked on his usual dress shirt, pants, and boots before heading out the door, dropping his hat on his head on the way out. He felt perfectly fine and like absolute garbage at the same time but that was more due to the lack of sleep if anything.

He saw Reginald in the middle of cooking some scrambled eggs on the oven grill.

“Mornin’” he grunted, attempting to walk past him to fix up his own food only for Reginald to hold out an arm to stop him.

Right raised a brow at him.

“You go take seat, I’m making breakfast for you today,” Reginald stated firmly, pointing the spatula he held at Right threateningly. “You look exhausted Right.”

Reginald was in one of those moods. The kind where he got into a snit over Right not taking of himself (like he could talk, Reginald’s workaholic tendencies frankly scared Right some days) and fussed over him until he was satisfied Right wasn’t going to keel over. Right preferred to do things himself, at least when it came to the little things, but he understood where Reginald was coming from.

He’d done the exact same thing for him after all.

He sighed and smiled slightly. “Alright, thanks Reg.”

He didn’t have to wait long, Reginald brought him a plate of scrambled eggs on toast and sat beside him at an empty table at the back of the cafeteria moments later.

“So, what had you up so late last night?” Reginald asked as he nursed a cup of coffee, picking at his own plate of toast. “Did you even get any sleep?”

“It’s complicated…” Right began. “And no, didn’t get a wink of sleep, not that it matters. I’ve worked under worse conditions.”

“How complicated? Is it something to do with the clan?”

Here goes. Right thought, mentally preparing himself for the worst. “It’s complicated ‘cause been I’ve been stuck reliving the past decade or so over an’ over. I’ve died an’ woke up back when Terrence was still chief with the memories of what happened as well as what happened after I croaked.”

Reginald was staring at him, expression unreadable yet Right could practically see the gears turning in his head. He took it as a good sign and pressed forward.

“You’ve died, the clan’s gone up in smoke, or we’ve had our stuff stolen and rarely do things ever go our way,” Right stated. “Seems like the universe likes taking the mick out of us. We’re usually brought down by one bloke.”

“I’m sorry? A single person destroys the Toppat Clan?” Reginald asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, guy by the name of Henry Stickmin…” Right growled, glaring at his breakfast. “Can’t tip Terrence off when I get sent back, but after that…. I’m your Right Hand Reg, that’s my job. Not this time travelling bullcrap…”

“I’m sick an’ tired of it.” Right admitted, sighing.

Reginald made a noise in sympathy. Silence fell between them as Right ate his breakfast and Reginald was staring into his morning coffee, thinking.

“You know…” Reginald said after a while and Right looked over at him, fork sticking out of his mouth. “why not make it your job?”

Right set his utensils down on his plate, looking curious. “How so?”

“If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t give a damn about remaining consistent, I’d do whatever it takes to change the future for the benefit of the clan.”

“Even if it meant you’d never become chief?” Right asked.

Reginald nodded sagely. “Even then, you know how important the clan is to me. And truth be told, I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for you, to bear the burden on not only your own demise but those of your allies as well. If it were me in your situation… I don’t believe I’d be nearly as calm…”

“You bein’ here helps with that,” Right said. “Knowing that you’re alive here an’ now, that it all wasn’t for nothin’… That keeps me going even in the worst of it.”

“In that case, we need to devise a way for you to inform me about this repeating life of yours every time you’re sent back,” Reginald decided. “It would certainly set my mind at ease knowing you won’t be dealing with this alone.”

“I have a book I keep notes in, more like a journal of sorts,” Right said. “Found it on my desk the first time I got sent back.”

“Anything else?”

“No, just the book. No idea where it came from.”

“Do you mind if I borrowed it?” Reginald asked.

Right shrugged as he shoved another mouthful of eggs and toast into his maw. “Go ‘head.”

The government attack on the airship happened like clockwork. Henry came crashing through the windshield in a big plastic ball. This time, they were prepared with the clan on alert and weapons at the ready. Reginald had cleared the bridge ahead of time and holed himself up in his quarters. Right refused to back down and had waited to see where Henry would appear. He smirked and stood tall.

“Why don’ you ditch your little hamster ball an’ face me yourself?” He drawled, weapon at the ready.

Across from him, Henry Stickmin pressed a button on the controller he held, and Right blinked as a large tube appeared on the front of the ball and dived out of the way of the green laser that fired from it.

He glanced over to see Henry was gone and sighed in exasperation.

“Bloody idiot…” he grumbled and grabbed the communicator clipped to his pants. “The Intruder’s been dealt with Reg. The bridge has sustained heavy damage though.”

Reginald replied moments later. “Round up a repair crew and I’ll see to getting the ship to one of our hangars.”

“Got it.” Right replied and left the bridge in search of Slice, knowing he would have the right people and resources ready to begin the repairs as soon as they landed.

It was as if his talk with Reginald had opened his eyes to the possibilities he now had. In the timelines that followed, Reginald had read his notes and the letter the chief had left for himself and worked with Right to use the information to the clan’s advantage. The schemes the man would concoct were a highlight of Right’s week.

Some things couldn’t be completely altered, as evident by Right’s cybernetic enhancements once more being the only thing that kept him alive after he’d tried to track Henry down and lost in the ensuing fight (again, he was really starting to hate the absurd amount of luck Stickmin had), and Reginald missing a hat.

Right remembered the events that followed all too well and upon hearing Reginald give the order to mobilise in preparation for an attack on The Wall, Right unplugged himself from the charging station installed by his bed and got up to retrieve a long, dark red coat from his wardrobe. It was something he’d started wearing whenever he got “upgraded”, the coat was from his old days before he’d even been assigned to the airship division, before he known as Right Hand Man.

He donned it now because his cybernetics were still new and fresh, still somewhat sensitive to the chill in the night air permeating the airship and his new internal heating systems hadn’t quite adjusted yet. The coat also came in handy as place to store all the little tools and gadgets he or Reginald often needed when out on the mission. He checked the pockets on the inside of the coat and felt a sliver of nervousness and a hint of confidence at the two small boxes tucked away within the confines of his coat.

If things were going to go the way he thought, he wanted something good to come of this. Even if that good was only temporary. He huffed as the left side of his vision was consumed by a blinking notification that he hadn’t finished charging and dismissed it with a roll of his eyes.

He could worry about that later, for now he had to stop Reginald from making a poor decision and dooming them all.

So Right headed towards the bridge.

The bridge was empty save for Reginald at the ship’s controls, everyone else having left to follow orders. Reginald turned around in the pilot’s seat as he heard him approach. “You should be resting Right. I can handle this little rescue operation.”

“I just need to know what you’re planning,” Right said, coming up to stand beside Reginald and resting a hand on the back of the chair. “You read the notes, I don’t want a repeat of that incident.”

“We can just take more precautions, with the information we have, taking out Henry won’t be an issue-”

Right was struck by a bolt of fear at the idea. It was rare that he was genuinely afraid, even rarer since his life had been put on repeat for several decades now, but there were some things that stuck with him. Things like the sight of Reginald pinned to the wall of the bridge, dead in the wreckage of his life’s work. Right had died that time somehow just knowing it was the end of the Toppats and embracing death with the knowledge he’d be sent back.

The knowledge of what happened after he perished had haunted him for days afterwards. It compounded on his bruised ego, the sensation that he was nothing more than a joke, a punching bag for the universe's twisted sense of humour, and he bought Reginald and the rest of the Toppats down with him.

Never again.

“Please Reg, don’t, don’t make me go through that again…” Right cut in. He kept his voice firm and looked away, pulling his hat down to hide his face further. “…I know you don’t like him, but I’m not havin’ that happen twice! ‘Specially since you know it’ll happen if you throw him overboard.”

He heard the squeak of leather as Reginald got up, the quiet sound of his shoes on the carpet as he walked around the chair to face the enforcer. A gloved hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder.

Right stared at the floor. It was cowardly of him yes, but it was better for to him hide when his mask of professionalism was so close to breaking. As good as his poker face was, Reginald would see through it.

Reginald would always be the chief to him, Right was his Enforcer, his Right Hand Man, and that was the be all, end all of it.

“Right,” Reginald said, the former leader’s concern making Right sigh in exasperation and embarrassment. “I assure you I won’t let anything like that happen.”

“Then don’ let your bitterness towards Henry influence your decisions.” Right grumbled. “If I can manage that, then so can you.”

Reginald stepped back. “Yes, I… I suppose I’ve been a bit single minded as of late haven’t I?”

Right sighed and finally looked up to see Reginald was worried, wringing his hands together, and seeing just how much of a toll this had on Right.

He sighed and removed his hat, holding it to his chest with one hand while the other reached into his coat to pull out one of the two boxes. “Look, I may not be the best at getting’ the point across, but I worry about you a lot Reg, I care about you. More than I rightly should given our respective jobs…” he hastily shoved the box into Reginald’s hands. “Ah to hell with it. Here, open it. You’ll see what I mean…”

Reginald quirked an eyebrow in curiosity as he opened the box. The former leader blinked in stunned silence at the light pink felt rose that lay inside.

“I know you like all those traditions the clan had throughout history, so I uh… made this for you… ‘cause I like you,” Right explained as Reginald gingerly picked up the fake rose and turned it over, revealing it was glued to a little gold pin. “It was tradition, back in the renaissance era or somethin’, to give someone in the clan a rose they could pin to their hat if you were interested in ‘em, romantically I mean. Pink ones were for confessin’ that you were interested.”

Right continued, looking off to the side, rambling. “S’lright if you don’t feel the same, don’t even know if you like blokes, it’s jus’ that when I heard the announcement that we were headin’ to The Wall, I knew I had to talk you down from chuckin’ Henry off the ship…” he rubbed the back of his neck as he put his hat back on. “An’ failin’ that, thought I might try my luck with… somethin’ else.”

“Right.” Reginald commanded and Right turned his head to look at him. Reginald’s featured softened into something gentle, and Right was taken aback when the taller man pulled him into a hug.

“You never have to worry about professionalism or where we stand in the clan. Do you hear me?” Reginald’s voice was thick with barely restrained emotion. “I adore you, you absolute fool…”

“Oh…” was all Right could say and timidly reached his arms around to hug Reginald back. This was new, and exhilarating, and terrifying all at once.

Eventually, Reginald pulled away and Right was left a quiet, elated mess of a man as Reginald cleared his throat to get his attention.

“Do you have one of these for yourself?” he quietly asked, holding up the rose and Right sheepishly pulled out the other box from his coat pocket.

“The one I gave you was the second attempt of makin’ one, kinda botched up the first one.” he admitted, opening the box to reveal a felt rose that had several crooked or off-centre petals.

Reginald cracked a smile, almost giggling as he swiped the crooked rose and pinned it to his hat.

“Oi!”

Reginald only laughed. “Hold still and let me pin the other one on you.”

Right huffed but let him pin the decent looking rose to the side of his hat. Reginald admired his handiwork with a satisfied grin.

“Hm yes, quite dashing if I do say so,” he said as he reached up to adjust his own pin with a fond smile. “…I never thought you were interested. I was certain I was giving off the right signals…”

“I’m a bit dense when it comes to this sort of stuff Reg.” the cyborg muttered and straightened up. “We can talk about this later, we got an idiot to rescue…”

“Ah yes, The Wall,” Reginald remembered and headed back to the airship controls. “I promise I won’t throw Henry overboard, go rest, please?”

Right cracked a warm smile, emotions practically bubbling to the surface. “Alright I’m goin’.”

Right Hand Man walked back to his room feeling lighter than he had in years, a giddy veil mixed with relief and belonging had settled around him and he welcomed it.

[interact-if]

HALLOOOOO! first of all, let me just say what amazing work you mods are doing! this blog has been a huge help so kudos to all of you! thank you for your hard work!!! 😁😁😁😁

on to my question...what would you, since some of you write IFs as well, suggest to those who wants to start writing one? i really, really want to write one, but i guess i'm really intimidated by the thought of coding. also, how did you choose your medium? what made you choose ChoiceScript or Twine?

sorry for the long ask. 🙏

i hope you all have a good day!

Thank you!!

I'll start us off by saying that yes, coding isn't easy, but don't be daunted! Take it one step at a time, use your resources, ask for help, and you'll learn how to do it to a point where it comes a lot easier to you while you're writing!

I started Smoke & Velvet (now When it Hungers) in Cscript without knowing anything about coding in that language and I've learned a ton since then! I'm now transferring over to twine, facing the same daunting, overwhelmed, feeling I had when I first opened up the cscript tutorial :'D

W3schools is a great resource, so is freecodecamp and mimo, if you want to start diving in to html, css, and javascript (start with html, then work your way up, start small, read code line by line instead of looking at it as a whole lest you become overwhelmed).

I chose Cscript at first because that was my only interaction with the IF community at the time. I didn't even know that twine existed, and had been lowkey wanting to write a game for years before taking the dive.

Going into twine now is challenging but I've been having a lot of fun with creating a unique format that has more accessibility options and features, like save slots, back buttons, sound, music, and other things that amplify gameplay.

There's still a long way left to go for me, but it's been a journey worth having and the community has been pretty wonderful for the most part. Be patient with yourself, with your writing, with your learning, and surround yourself with fellow writers and readers who support you and encourage you but also remind you to take breaks and drink plenty of water :D

- Roast

Alright, I’m not even going to sugarcoat this since I’ve been really open about this on all of my blogs, but I am writing all of my future games on Twine and translating my ChoiceScript WIP (Greater than Gods) to Twine as well. This is merely because I genuinely disagree with Choice of Games as a company, and as someone who does want to monetize my games I didn’t want it to go through them.

Now, maybe you don’t have that much of an issue w CoG or you don’t want to monetize your games, so my justification won’t mean much to you. Coding-language wise ChoiceScript is kind of friendlier since it’s less overwhelming than Twine when you first take a peek, but as long as you’ve got someone to ask (which you can find plenty in our Discord servers!) I believe that starting off with Twine and getting the hand of it can be good! The hardest part is adjusting to different languages so changing halfway (and translating one to the other) makes it overall trickier.

Also, personally, I didn’t even begin to code until I had a good chuck of the story written since I couldn’t get the ChoiceScript extras running on the computer I used to have. My vote is that if code overwhelms you, then postpone it as much as you can and let the story take you at first, just focus on the parts you love.

Yet, to be fair, after reading what Dani said.... all advice is subjective LOL so what might be the answer for me might just be problems for you and viceversa, the best advice will always be fuck around and find out

- Cruz

Currently I’m using CS, though there will be Twine in the future as well!

Initially, I didn’t really even know about the other side of IF (itch.io/Twine), so I went with what I’d heard of (CS). Ultimately, CScript is beginner friendly due to the fact that you’re not adding on the additional challenges of UI (user interface)/styling, etc, and it lets you get acquainted with algorithmic thinking, which I think is probably what people struggle with the most when getting started—cold, hard computer logic. Building that foundation is very useful if you don’t have previous coding experience.

As for tips for those getting started, these are mine (as someone from the CS background). Take these with a grain of salt; not everyone works the same way, but this is what works for me and what I find valuable, but I know that some of the other mods work in opposite ways, for example, LOL.

If you know nothing else, know the key middle point/event of your story AND how your story ends. This is super important, not only for your story, but also for coding. Because IF is about branching and converging, all those branches have to go somewhere, and at some point you’re going to have to pull them back together a bit before you send them branching back out again. Knowing these two points will save you a LOT of pain with coding and planning your branches AND with managing the feasibility of your project. Ironically, many people tend to start with the beginning of their story. But knowing where you’re going will really save your bacon.

Map your code for your chapter before you write the chapter. Yep. I said it. I’m in the minority here, I know that most folks don’t do this. But if you can do this, it means (A.) you’ve got a really clear plot map of your chapter, so writing it will be a piece of cake and (B.) you’ve really fleshed out exactly what’s happening/the various causal relationships, which means your code is probably going to be neat and concise. Plus, coding first is a whole heck of a lot easier than adding the code in afterward, when you have to hunt through walls of text to find where the various code lines should be added. I know it sounds bonkers. I know. Really. But if you can manage the planning well enough to pull it off, it’s well worth it. (It’s also worth noting that doing this lets you test your code a lot faster/first, which can also be useful when you’re first getting started. But might not be everyone’s cup of tea, heh.)

For CS, if you know of a WIP that has a feature you’d like to use in your game, code dive and see how that author did it. For example, if a game has a function to randomize the shirt color of a certain character every time you meet them and you’d like to do something similar, take a look at that person’s code! Odds are you can learn more than that. Look at different authors’ coding styles and see what neat tricks you can learn. And if you don’t know how to code dive come DM me LOL.

Lastly, on a more general note, the two big WIP killers are the fraternal twins Scope and Planning; that is to say, when the scope gets out of hand and there isn’t enough planning, that tends to be when WIPs die because the author starts to feel overwhelmed and/or demoralized. So, from the very start be intentional about planning. I know plenty of authors say they don’t plan but. I’m telling you now. PLAN. LOL.

Oh, also, if you do use CS, CSIDE is a program that’s dedicated to editing Choicescript and great for light testing and the like.

I need to shut up now because I’ve typed too much but if I’ve left you with more questions than answers you’re welcome to come hunt me down on my personal blog!

- Dani

I don't have much experience with Twine yet (but heavily considering switching) aside from fiddling around, and the other mods have given their two cents on CS that I already think so I'll mostly just stick to giving advice on writing an IF as a fellow beginner!

From what the other lovely mods have said, planning is your bestfriend! It's very easy to get swept up in the idea of making your own IF project but it does tend to be more overwhelming down the line without proper planning.

You can use mind-mapping tools, or draw one! I'm partial to bullet point outlining but it can be a little tedious as the chapters become more complex with branching.

So, sit yourself down and do some outlining. This is a general advice a creative writing teacher of mine has given me: ignore the beginning, skip to the ending. And it makes a lot of sense. Because as a writer, you'll get hung up on how you want your story to start. We are, to some extent, perfectionists with what we write.

So ignore the beginning, and instead think of how you want your story to end. Trust me, while you're at it, you'll get so many ideas/prompts of what you want to put in the middle. The beginning is easy pickings once you have the foundation of an ending laid out. Writing is a separate matter entirely, but y'all already know that.

Now let's talk about organizing! If you feel like you'll remember an idea later on, trust me, you won't. Write it down, write it all down. OneNote is my go-to with organizing my thoughts/prompts/ideas with my current project.

It's uploaded on a cloud and you'll also be able to access it on your phone! The sticky notes feature come in handy as well. Also, it's a good place to back up your code-formatted chapters/assets!

Lastly, please be kind and patient with yourself! There will be learning and writing frustrations, but it's normal. It happens. Don't beat yourself up too hard over it. Writing is a complex process, but also very worth it.

I mean, I get it. I constantly fall down the rabbit hole of, "If this rough draft isn't perfect then that means I am a horrible writer," which is absolutely not true!

Remember to take care of yourself in the process of writing. Figure out your limits because burning out and losing passion for a project can happen. Above all else, writing shouldn't feel like a chore, it should be fun!

- Nines

Goodluck, and have fun!!

Ko-fi link | Discord | Reddit | Featured Authors Interest Form

[bleachbleachbleach]

Fic: Away, Away

This was written for Day 13 of @hitsuhina-week! If you prefer, you can also read this on AO3. Which is my preference, because Tumblr keeps eating my spacing whether I use Rich Text or HTML so it looks absurd on here. >.>

Aftermath / Going on a Trip Together Hinamori Momo + Hitsugaya Toushirou Pre-Series

--

This will be the last time. 

(Whisper it, so he won't hear.)

--

Every spring, Junrinan finds its way to the western mountains. (The souls of Rukongai wander.) There is no grand procession: They disperse across the vast range, often alone and sometimes in twos. They are always careful not to cause disruption, because while one soul in a forest full of spirits generally isn't worth the effort, seven is a meal.

They are three. 

Soon, they will be two. Hinamori can't stop whispering her new name, hi na mo ri. It's early to be out here, but the snows were mild this year and new growth is already peeking from beneath the thick, rich leaf rot. She feels an affinity with this year's tender saplings, a feeling that grows hotter with every whispered repetition of her name. Her grandmother had given it to her, showed her how to write it. She'd studied her name harder than she had the exam.

Hinamori has an acceptance letter. In April, she is leaving. 

Hinamori nearly walks straight into a nettle spirit--the hair-eating kind--draped across the game path plain as day.

"Do you wanna be bald?" Toushirou grouses as he yanks her back just in time. "I guess it fits. You're acting like a blind old man." 

Hinamori blinks, brushes imagined hair from her face. It's the fifth time she's tried to walk straight through a spirit in as many days. 

"Studying is bad for your eyes," says Toushirou. He doesn't care for moony Hinamori. Momo had paid a lot more attention to what was in front of her. But she's Hinamori now. At least, that's the only name she'll write, dragging her thin stick through the dirt outside the house. So that's what he calls her.

Toushirou squeezes through a bumble of pot-bellied mushroom spirits and Hinamori follows him, stepping carefully into his tracks.

"You'll need to keep reading even when I'm not around. It'll go if you don't practice," she says.

Toushirou makes a noncommittal sound.

"I'll send you letters full of kanji and quiz you on them when I visit." I'll learn how to write them pretty, she promises, just like Baachan does.

"Will you write me back?" she asks.

"Probably not."

This hurts her. But Toushirou plans to go the rest of his life without writing a single thing. It's not personal.

"Why would I need to tell you what happens in Junrinan?" he says. "You already know."

--

And if I forget?

--

Life in Junrinan doesn't change. That's what Toushirou was promised. The winters are quiet and slow, and in spring they go to the mountains. Summers are for farming, and autumns for harvest. Then winters are quiet and slow again.

Spring passes with bracken and angelica in hand. It is counted in the spirals of ferns as their number grows in the baskets. Some are dried; some are steeped. Mostly, they are sold. Many of the men in Junrinan spend springtime waking before dawn to sprint to the mountain, forage the lowlands, and return to the village for evening revelries, but Toushirou and Hinamori and their grandmother have always spent the whole of the season between the trees. The mountains prefer it when you stay. 

This will be true no matter how long Hinamori is gone.

April 12th through July 20th, then our first break, she says, scratching numbers in the dirt. But Junrinan doesn't have dates the way the Academy does. She draws the way the trees will change. The change happens in a long straight line, and beyond July 20th there is an emptiness rather than a repetition. How do you draw an unwritten future?

Hinamori writes her name again.

--

In the spring, everything is full: Toushirou enjoys the wet green of it, the late snows and vernal flooding. The water flows down from the mountains ice cold and the forests are loud and thick with spirits.

The spirits have no names that are written and no faces that have ever stayed the same, unremembered but immemorial. They are loud. Most of them respect the borders of his body. They brush against his legs with thick wet fur or scrape his cheek with leathery wings. They coil around his throat, treating him like a tree or rock. Some of them are trees and rocks. They are the mountains and forest, just like the wandering souls of Junrinan. They all belong here, more or less.

Toushirou can see most of them. When the blurry ones pass through you, it's feverishly unpleasant for the split-second it happens and then is nothing at all. The blurry ones, Toushirou figures, aren't actually in this forest. They are like shadows at sunset, cast long and far from their bodies. Their true bodies roam a different world entirely.

That's what Hinamori wants to do. 

Hinamori used to clamor for shinigami stories any time one of them passed through town. She'd been told one time that all travelers carried stories and now expected it.

The shinigami never expected her. Unless commerce was involved they didn't tend to acknowledge souls, or even look at them. So they always seemed surprised by Hinamori, like it hadn't occurred to them that they'd meet a real, full person out here. Which is fair enough, Toushirou grudgingly allows--there are plenty of souls in Junrinan so old and staid they cannot move, nor speak. (Don't touch them. It's unlucky.)

We don't talk about those.

The shinigami talk story: The story of black dye. The story of a tall bathhouse. The story of grilled meat on sticks. The story of the time they saw a noble. The story of a big fish. The story of a bigger fish. The story of the bullet train. The story of my sister, who isn't very interesting but is the only thing that comes to mind right now sorry. The story of 19th seats should be paid more. The story of the soul who wanted a story. 

Almost none of the stories are about death.

"Little girls shouldn't go into those mountains," one shinigami once said, which is as close as a story ever came to it. "Nasty stuff in there. They're called Hollows, you know. Real bad guys."

The shinigami patted the sword at his hip. He'd just told Hinamori a story about the third son of a lesser noble whom everyone loved and thought deserved better than the shadows of his elder brothers. And how preposterous is it, really, that he should have to prove himself when his brothers never did? Pushed out here into the boonies, seeking honor and fame. He really feels for the guy. Don't you? Don't you?

"You seem to know a lot about 'this guy,'" Toushirou offered.

"I'm a master storyteller," said the shinigami.

I've killed a Hollow before, you know, boasted the master storyteller. He'd led a unit of twelve men into those mountains out there, which were so quiet you could hear your own heart beating. When you can hear your terror--that's when you're on the cusp of valor. His eyes lit up. I was the one who cut the mask, he said.

Twelve is obviously far too many (seven is a meal), and those mountains have never been quiet. Toushirou didn't think he'd really been.

In the spring, though, there's a dark scar where once there'd been a copse of trees. Shattered branches and burned ground. His grandmother says it smells like Hollow. 

"They see things differently," his grandmother half-explains, of the shinigami and their Hollows and the silence of their mountains. Of course this would seem a different place to them.

"They're idiots," says Toushirou, though suddenly he's not sure. The scar is hair-raising, and his stomach roils. Maybe they really shouldn't be out in the woods.

"The shinigami know more than you," says Hinamori, taking his hand in hers. She grips it tightly, reassuring, or maybe annoyed. Both. She has a lot of school spirit for someone who hasn't even been yet.

But she doesn't let go of his hand, even after they've returned to the cover of the live trees, kitsune fire nestled in the brambles at their feet.

Toushirou makes the mistake of noticing a spirit that tends to linger just out of sight. It feeds on your instinct to look, and it grows higher and higher the more you crane your neck, so sure you'll be able to sneak a glimpse of it. By the time you realize the trick, you've always been had. It's very annoying.

--

This will be the last time.

(Scream it.)

--

"It's so dark out here," says Hinamori, in spite of the kitsune and all the rest. Lots of spirits glow. She is still holding his hand.

Toushirou thinks of the small lamp Hinamori had bought to study by, the wild shadows it cast on the interior walls and the way it had made all hours bright. He thinks of all the hours she hadn't slept. All because some shinigami had told her a story about a school. 

Anything would seem dark by comparison. He can't remember the last time she hadn't had her lamp on when he went to bed.

Hinamori is going to snap the bones in his hand. He yelps. Tears prick in his eyes. "What's wrong with you?"

She doesn't let go, and then she doesn't let go.

"It's so quiet," she says faintly. Her free hand wavers over her heart protectively.

It's so dark. It's so quiet. Quiet enough to hear your terror.

Except it's not. It's not dark.

It's not quiet.

The forest is full, air thick with chirrups and buzzing, screeching, hooting, chittering. Bodies clack and bones shudder. Reeds whistle and something large makes a whomping, resonating tone. Foxfire hisses as it makes sparks, throws phosphorous motes that dance high above. A heartbeat glow marches up the ridged spine of a lizard spirit. The forest is as it has always been.

Toushirou's eyes widen. 

"You can't hear them anymore."

To Hinamori, it is all darkness and silence. 

She sinks to the ground, burying her head in her knees as though to hide from the quiet. From the black. She drops his hand.

"Momo--"

She shakes her head. She opens her hands to the sky like she's waiting for a bird to land. For a split second, a small warm flame billows from her palms. 

Then the entire forest catches.

The thought had been innocent enough--to be her own light in the darkness, conquer her fear. But the forest only hears the conquering. It's the kitsune who don't take kindly to Hinamori's light. Their fire screeches up and outward and then all the spirits are in frenzy. A meal! scream some; and others, a threat! A danger to be expunged. A strange thing not of this forest, these mountains.

Outsider! the world around them hisses. Away.

away, away

Hinamori screams as the flames leap forward--the claws, the vines, the terrors and all in between. She throws herself in front of Toushirou. 

Toushirou can't find his voice at all. The wide whites of his eyes feel the propulsive gust of the forest coming down on them. On Hinamori. No! he can't shout, cold fear coiling over his frozen legs and pricking at his shoulder blades. Something serpentine rushes past him and he's on the ground. His head smacks hard against a writhing tree root and he tastes bile, feels nothing. 

Hears everything.

away

When he wakes, snow is falling, wet and sloppy. Kitsune are nibbling at the singed edges of a hanafuda. Hinamori is in her grandmother's arms. She's crying.

--

Before Hinamori started studying, with her bright lamp and her long nights and her feverish poetry scratched into the ground, before the hunger came, she'd woken one morning to a futon streaked with her blood. Her grandmother said that this was womanhood.

"The tea will stop the bleeding," she assured a tearful Hinamori as they scrubbed at her futon, pinking the waters. Toushirou beat at the stain with his feet, splashing everywhere.

"You don't have to touch it," Hinamori had said quietly, her eyes fixed on the water. "It's my mess."

"Baachan said I have to help," Toushirou objected. "Besides, am I supposed to just sit here and watch you bleed?"

--

Just one last time.

--

Hinamori isn't hurt, but she is in pain. The forest doesn't want her anymore. (She is leaving.)

"The forest sees them differently," his grandmother says, the other half of her earlier explanation. "Them," meaning shinigami. "Them," meaning Hinamori, now.

Shinigami see and are seen differently. They belong differently. Toushirou had only ever distinguished them by their black clothes, and sometimes their attitude. But his grandmother talks about reiryoku, about reiatsu, about the realms the shinigami travel through and the spirits they are blind to. The spirits that belong to different worlds than theirs, even when they're side by side. Some worlds are bound to one another, tied by fate and duty; others are repelled.

As Hinamori's reiatsu blossomed with her womanhood, slowly folding outward past her skin, beyond her body, her worlds were chosen for her. Like the bleeding, there's a tea to help this, too, but it's not the same. 

There is no going back.

"What're you looking at," Toushirou scowls at her. He's not sure what to do with her pain. There's nothing he can do for her pain. But she's looking at him differently, a little less like Hinamori and a little more like the rest of Junrinan does, and that scares him.

She asks him if he'd felt anything. Something cold.

She's asked him before. Every day since the incident, she's asked him.

His answer is always the same. No. Just fear.

He should be helping his grandmother. They're here in the forest for a reason, and that hasn't changed; they have foraging to do. But he doesn't want to leave Hinamori alone. 

"Don't be afraid of it, Shiro-chan," says Hinamori. Hinamori, who's now afraid of the dark.

Hinamori, who is leaving.

--

She doesn't have a choice. When her power comes into her she knows there is only one place she can go. It's a place she has always wanted to go. (She has always wanted to go places.) But now she has to.

She smiles. 

If she is going to go, she's going to fly. She will love, and yearn, and cry. She will give all of herself to the future before her, even when it means that precious things can be only memory. If there is something Hinamori leaves in him when she goes, it's flight. 

Someday, Toushirou will remember to remember that.

--

"Will you write me?" she asks.

--

--

(You will be written.)

--

She returns for the summer, then is gone again. Winter, then gone again. But she doesn't come home for the spring. They'll be going to the realm of the living. They will fight Hollows, just like the Gotei 13. She explains the meaning and stroke order of the characters, go tei,  though she doesn't explain what the Gotei 13 actually is. That part must already seem obvious to her. Shinigami stuff. That's all Toushirou will ever need to know. Seems pretentious.

When Junrinan returns to the mountains this year, Toushirou and his grandmother stay behind. "It's dangerous," she says. She squeezes his shoulders.

It's dangerous now. 

There is no going back.

Junrinan may not change, but life does, and by the second summer, Hinamori has mostly forgotten the shapes of the forest spirits. Toushirou is forgetting them, too. 

The difference is, Hinamori has found replacements. She talks about incantations and sword stances, friendships and histories. She has been to the realm of the living. It's only been a year, and already they have nothing in common but their memories, ever-receding. 

Sometimes she wakes up screaming. She doesn't say why.

--

Toushirou dreams of a chill ripping through him. He dreams of a place where there are no mountains as far as the eye can see.

--

He wakes to Hinamori.

[hms-no-fun]

out of curiosity: if 3.2 will be more like an MSPA, do you still plan to host it on AO3, or on something more MSPA-esque in format, like MSPFA?

the current plan is to move godfeels to a dedicated website, and there's a couple reasons for this.

ao3's css library is extremely limited. in the short term that was a good thing, at least as someone with basically no understanding of html or css who learns best with a pared down toolset. i mean literally writing gf1 i didn't understand that you couldn't just color everything in a doc and copy/paste it to ao3 lmao, i really started at zero. but these days i'm feeling more and more limited by the tools ao3 offers. hosting 3.2 on a separate site gives us a lot more control over that stuff, and now i feel a lot more ready to take advantage of that than i would have before.

i think, also, that hosting it on a website will help tremendously with pacing. a recurring complaint with chapter 8 is that act 3-1, the risk & dare chapter, is just way too long and difficult to navigate. and like, yeah, you know what, 40,000 words on a single webpage is a lot to get through.

but chapter 8 is the nonsensically octofurcated behemoth that it is precisely because i am dedicated to structure. while i certainly agree now that it would be a better reader experience for 3-1 to be split into three or more sub-chapters, as a writer it just feels wrong to deliver it any other way-- EXCEPT if we had an mspa-style clickthrough function. i've always wanted to utilize the ==> prompt, and my use of excessive dramatic line breaks is an attempt to experientially emulate that click for the reader. homestuck similarly has nonsensical structure out the wazoo, but from a reader's perspective that doesn't really matter because the moment to moment pacing is dictated by physical action on your end. you aren't reading 400,000 words in one go, right, you're reading chunks of 50 - 100 at a time. i just think the hyperlinked presentation will be overall more satisfying for both parties. and that'd be true even if we weren't planning to do consistent spritework!

so anyway, here's the plan. everything that's currently on ao3 will stay there in perpetuity. when 3.2 starts, there will be a fic created in the series whose body will most likely just be a link to the godfeels site. gf1 to 3.1 will, at some point, be re-hosted on our site. i've been considering the possibility of taking that as an opportunity to "remaster" godfeels [rolls eyes] but idk how willing i am to open that particular pandora's box just yet. what i definitely want to do, though, is translate the fic as it exists to an mspa-style presentation, keeping all the same structural designations but paced differently. this is something that's already existed in my head for a long time and i think it'll make for a really interesting re-read experience down the line.

DISCLAIMER: OBVIOUSLY I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING

[sakuatsu]

YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either 

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)  

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy 

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE 

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person 

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special 

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying 

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

[faterpresources]

Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1.       Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter  or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs.  Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2.       Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3.       Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML.  You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks.  This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately.  An example sent to my rp blog:

4.       Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5.       Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

[discodemons]

Well, hello there.

This is...interesting. I had a Tumblr account from the time I was in probably 7th or 8th grade which would have made me about 12 or 13. I had my account until about junior year of college and until then I thought often, "God, will I ever get tired of this?" Expressing myself and being able to dive deeper whenever I found a new interest and finding a community of like-minded people at the same time was a lifesaver during high school especially. At one point my One Direction fan account had over 1k followers which at that time was incredible to me. Having a Tumblr also allowed me to anonymously explore darker parts of myself.

Eventually, life got more interesting and demanding and so the Tumblr was abandoned. Hours of blogging, making genuine connections, HTML customizing my theme, live-blogging livestreams with friends I've never met in person, I loved it. The thing is real life just gets in the way. Especially when you're me. Don't get me wrong, the years since stepping away from my blog haven't been a montage of epic parties and slaying absolute 10s. It's been almost 2 years since I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 7 years and he tried to sexually assault me the day after his sister's funeral. Oh. Trigger warning. See, this is my personal blog. Per my therapist's request I need to journal but I can't do anything if it's not at least a bit performative so I think if I convince myself this will somehow blow up and I'll become the real-life Carrie Bradshaw, then I'll continue doing it. "It" is expressing myself through journaling via this blog.

Shortly after breaking up with that piece of shit I started dating a very sweet and deeply fucked up individual. We are no longer together for reasons not obvious to you as the reader but as a loved one...it was clear the relationship would not last. He's moving across the country after the next month and until then he's living with me. Which presents some issues. The biggest being that I am a hellion who would have been burned at the stake not too long ago.

I do still love him although sometimes it seems like he's actively trying to repulse me. I won't get too much into detail about the inner workings of our relationship but for anyone out there reading, I'd like it to be known that I am, in fact, capable of love and I do love this person. But lord do I want to fuck other people.

The week after I broke up with him I went out with some girlfriends and reminisced about a brief time with a man 10 years older than me I had been with over a year prior. I hadn't heard from him since and I honestly thought I had his number blocked. That is until he texted me the next morning. I almost fell to the floor. After over a year and I haven't even given this person a thought until the night before, and now he's texting me. It's almost like he was listening.

See, when I first met this guy I instantly referred to him as American Psycho. It was mostly the looks and the vibe. Which got stronger when I went over (of course I did, don't look at me like that. You will learn quickly that curiosity often gets the better of me) and when I knocked on the door he told me from the other side to come in...ok, already a little weird. When I came in he wasn't even too busy to get the door or anything, he was just sitting on the couch. I said hello and shut and locked the door behind me to which he said, "Locking the door? Shouldn't you be afraid of me?" UM SIR, SHOULD I BE? Anyway, we had sex. I felt so detached the whole time because of how off-putting his behavior was. And also a little because of how factory-made he looks. Either way, that was the only time we had sex and every other time has been him texting me 24/7 especially during the weekday to sext and have facetime sex. It was far too much for me. I'll be honest, I work when I want, so I can be free, but that doesn't mean I don't work. It was when he started to request secret videos of me hooking up with other people that I drew a line. I do have some morals.

Anyway, I'm a bit older and wiser now and we occasionally text. Although, the other day after a couple weeks of dirty texting he dropped the bomb that he had just started seeing someone for long enough where it's at the point where if we were to do anything it would have to be a secret. His words, not mine. Ick. It's already hard enough sending nudes when my ex is in my one-bedroom apartment, you will not catch me fucking a man with a girlfriend.

This is a good transition to questionable people I would fuck. Everyone has them. I honestly have a thing for every legendary male comedian. Adam Sandler? Someone get me a fucking towel. A friend of mine would fuck the shit out of Jack Black. My favorite kind of questionable person to fuck is someone you technically shouldn't fuck.

For instance, my family has recently reconnected with another family we all used to be much closer with. Their son is 21 now and has grown into quite a handsome young man and recently caught my interest a couple weeks ago at a family party. The first night I thought I was being conceited and there was no way he was flirting with me. The next day the sexual tension was so dense you could cut it with a knife. The kind where all you need to do is lock eyes and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears and feel it in your pussy. We partied all day at the house and all I could do was stare at was him in his grey sweatpants. Side note: Why do they do that to us?

By the end, I found myself alone with him grabbing a beer and it took every ounce of my spirit not to turn around and bend over for him right there. As soon as my mind went there, I just as quickly envisioned either of our parents walking in and finding us and I immediately went home. The next day we went to a bar for 3 beers before I blurted out "I just really want to fuck the shit out of you". And before I knew it we were in the back of his truck fucking like animals for what felt like hours. It was amazing. It was all I could think about the next week and I was spiraling. My friend called it a "dick daze". I've never felt anything like that. I spent the next few days getting tipsy and texting him, making a fool of myself and by the end of the week convinced myself I was being thirsty and needed to move on. After all, what am I doing chasing after any man, first of all? Then he texted me. He came over last night. On the one hand, it's fucking amazing having sex with someone who can go rounds and obviously worships your body. On the other, it is a little weird having sex with someone who has no chest hair. Ok, it's really weird.

I desperately need someone new in the mix that isn't an ex, much younger than me, or a total sociopath. Preferably with great abs and stamina.

If I do find them, you'll be the first to know.

Muah.

[mowisha]

Project # 1: Portfolio Site and Blogsite Theme

Stage 1: Illustrations (09-30-21)

here's a quick timelapse. my photoshop actually failed multiple times when I was doing this vector but eh, everything worked out in the end. I know that I should've Adobe Illustrator and saved it as SVG, but I don't have the application and I'm not familiar with AI that much huhu. PNG will do for now.

Stage 2: Prototype and Layout Design (09-30-21)

Creating the UI Design on Figma. I've been loving the color green lately so I decided to use it as the primary color for my site! Made the prototype for mobile and tablet viewing as well, including dark mode (which i won't be doing btw)

Stage 3: CODING -- HTML (10-04-21)

Got distracted for the next 4 days (smh!) But I started coding the site today. Looking pretty good

Stage 4.0: CSS and Responsiveness -- Header Section (10-05-21)

I implemented using SASS for this site for the first time ever and it made coding the CSS sososososo much easier!

I spent a lot of time making sure that everything looks nice in every size of the screen! Making the page responsive was what took me a lot of time to finish this section because this will be the first time that I was gonna make a responsive website. Turned out okay, I'm kinda proud of it! 💕

Also, ended up using Haikei for the back wavy SVG background. I liked this one better :) Also learned that there was something called aspect-ratio, took me a lot of time to understand this because I didn't search about it lmao. Trial and error for the sizing!

Stage 4.1: Portfolio Section (10-06-21)

I forgot to record the trouble I had with aligning the contents in the 'portfolio' section but I spent a lot of time trying to align them every time I resize the screen. Turns out, I just had to add one line of code haha. You learn something new every day

Ended up not following the prototype for this section. The original plan was for a box to appear every time I hover the image but realized that how will that work on mobile? So I ended up following this tutorial instead!

Stage 4.2: About and Toolbox Section (10-06-21) (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Spent HOURS trying to get this right, I even made a box model to follow but none of it worked lmao. I ended up putting everything on the trash and went to sleep hahaha

(10-07-21) ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ) -- Ended up using this code from StackOverflow hahaha.

Stage 4.4: Contact and Footer Section (10-12-21)

A/N: Okay I know, I slacked off for the past 5 days before continuing this project but I got a new dog, got vaccinated, enjoyed my last few days in this town, and I've planned what I was gonna do with my life this month since I'm moving back to Baguio in a week. Life has been uhhhh asdasdas. Oh and I've been watching mechanical keyboard vids for more hours than I really should instead of working my shit together. Anyway...

I also had a hard time aligning this huhu I'm really sorry for being a noob and being a slow coder but yep! Done! Although the contact form doesn't actually work lmao. Apparently, I need to have a backend but I'm too lazy for that huhu.

Stage 4.5: Darkmode (10-13-21)

Tried to do this but I had a hard time aligning the dark/day mode logo on the right and for it to appear whenever the size gets smaller. I know I gave up too soon but I just want this project to be over, it has taken me too long. I'll save this part for next time, I'm sorry.

So yeah, things to improve:

+ dark mode + contact form

Bonus Stage:

I actually made this the other day while I was procrastinating at coding hahaha. So I think I'll be working on this tomorrow so I can finally make this blog public to everyone.

Kind of the same layout, but still different? Ya feel me, fam? I will also be changing the logo and links to handwritten PNGs to make it feel more personal yknow

Update (06-30-22)

Update: Took a break for how many months, because I moved to a new city, adjusted, focused on work and making extra incomes, and doing my hobbies huhu but I'm back!

I did design a new website to add to my portfolio earlier this year on Figma but ended up halting it, too because I volunteered for 2 months to campaign for VP Leni for presidency. She ended up not winning and it did hurt a lot but at least I met a lot of new people and I'm proud to say that I stood my ground and fought for what I believe is right. It definitely was a time of my life. ANYWAY!!! Back to the website.

I actually started a few days ago, but I updated my Sass because apparently, the one that I was using hasnt been updated for 3 years now. Anyway, Sass stopped working and I had to use @use and @forward but I wasted a olot of time trying to fix it so I decided to stop using Sass and just transfer everything to regular CSS. My website worked again. Took me time to adjust with the syntax of CSS again, and I think I'll just stay and use pure CSS this time to avoid confusion and easy implementation between html, css, and javascript.

Goods news, again. I fixed the typewriting effect and dark/light mode!

Other than the contact form that's not really working, I'm basically done, I just need to add more to my portfolio site and I'll put this site on live and I'm gonna use tumblr to host it. :) Next project is to code this blogsite so I can link it on my portfolio and social media!

Stage 5: Coding the Blogsite (July 4-5, 2022)

OH MY GOD AAAAA. I know I've been putting this project on the side for almost a year now. I've wasted so many months because I just didn't have the motivation because I thought I couldn't do them but I get to finish them in a span of like 1-2 days. Why do I doubt myself so much, I have so much potential. Anyway, this blogsite is now live and I'm so happy about it. I'll make a separate post for it.

Next step is convert the codes for my portfolio site so it can be rendered by tumblr again, connect my other project designs to the portfolio corner and probably apply for a company and (HOPEFULLY???) finally get hired!!

I'm still contemplating whether to move to Mania for office word or just stick to WFH because I really don't wanna waste so much time on traffic in the city. I'm blabbering now. Goodbye hahaha