#I had a thought before I fell asleep and fooled myself into remembering it in the morning

[matchamiko]

Something something…Childe turning you, his fresh new lover into a dependant nympho……teaching you how to suck his cock all messy and drooly and whimpery……cradling your cheek as you gaze up at him suckling the tip and demanding sweetly you play with yourself at the same time……coming undone himself at how obedient and carefully you follow his instructions…finding himself falling down the same codependent hole as you and struggling to go even a single day without bullying his cock into you or shoving his face between your supple thighs…

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 9

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : After relapsing, Y/N wakes up next to Marshall. She confronts Cassie and has an anxiety attack.

Tags : Angst, Comfort

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Relapse, Anxiety attack, Mention of masturbation

When you woke up, you were feeling groggy and nauseous. You groaned at the memory from last night. You felt some stirring beside you. It was Marshall, laying next to you on top of the covers. 

Hey, he said in a raspy voice. How are you feeling ? Better ? 

Mmmmh, you moaned. 

He groaned and yawned. 

How about we try some words ? He asked. How are you feeling, Y/N ? 

Ashamed, you mumbled. 

Shocker. 

You stared at him as he rubbed his eyes. You couldn’t help but think that he looked perfect, even in the morning. He was pretty damn sexy, only wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt on. He scratched his beard before looking at you. 

Did you sleep here ? You asked. 

No, I slept in the garden but decided to come back here before you woke up, he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Yes I slept here. I wanted to make sure you were alright. 

Thanks, you said. You could have slept in your bedroom, you know ? Instead of here with me. 

And risk finding you dead in a puddle of your own barf ? Nope, he groaned. I don’t feel like having forensics in the house on a Sunday morning. The press would have a field day, though. 

Oh my God, the press…, you murmured as you remembered the flashing camera from last night. 

I called Paul after you fell asleep, he said. He’s going to try and get the picture deleted. He gave me so much shit about it. 

I’m sorry, you whispered as you took your face in your hands. 

You were embarrassed. There was so much that you needed to apologize for. 

It’s fine, he shrugged. It’s Paul anyway. He gives me shit all the time. That’s kind of his job, you know ? 

I’m so sorry I ruined your night… 

You didn’t, he said in a softer voice. I mean, I could have done without the worry, for sure, but my night pretty much sucked anyway. 

Why ? You asked. 

I hate that kind of events, he shrugged. I was there because the Lions PR Team wanted me to do some promo shit. I was supposed to meet someone there to talk about that but I ended up swarmed by drunk people bugging me about the album. And then, I had to take some ho to my place, he chuckled.

God, I am so embarrassed, you whined. 

About what part exactly ? He grinned. 

All of it ? You said. I mean, you had to help my grown-ass to undress and shower and you held my hair while I threw up. That’s pretty damn embarrassing. 

He chuckled and looked at you. 

Yup, he simply said. 

I’d say the outfit and kissing people was pretty embarrassing, too. And… Oh my God I danced, too, you whined. 

Oh yeah. That was some dancing, he grinned. 

Just kill me, please, you whined. 

He let out a laugh as you buried your face in your hands. Suddenly, the idea of digging a hole and dying there was quite appealing.

It’s fine, he said with a chuckle. I mean, you got some good moves. Didn’t expect you to, to be honest. 

Yeah, I don’t know about that… 

It wasn’t that bad, I promise. You put on quite a show on the dance floor. 

God, I made a fool of myself, you sighed. 

I don’t think you did, he said earnestly. Everyone there was doing the same thing anyway… But yeah, that was a bit foolish. I mean, it’s just not you, Y/N. 

You nodded softly. 

I don’t deserve you being so nice to me, you sighed. 

Me being an ass to you wouldn’t help matters, he shrugged. Besides, you already know what you did wrong. You’re a grown woman. 

I thought you were going to kill me, back there, you whispered. 

Dramatic, much ? He chuckled. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t really pleased with you. I was mostly worried, though… 

Mmmh. 

I thought you were doing good, you know ? He explained. You were sober for, what… Four months ? 

Yeah, going on five, you said with a hint of sadness. And now I threw it all away…

Slipping… it happens, he said. What matters is that you’re able to dust yourself off and try again. 

Easy for you to say, you mumbled. You’ve been sober for fifteen years. 

He scoffed and shook his head. 

You’re not the only person it happens to, you know ? He sighed. I’ve tried to quit a few times before I managed to stop for good. I’ve slipped-up and relapsed a few times. Even after rehab. 

You did ? You asked. 

Yeah. So I’ve been there and I know how you feel. I just wish I would have known you were struggling, he said. 

I wasn’t struggling, you said. I mean… There were times lately, when I missed drinking, but that’s about it. I think that… I have been feeling a bit lonely, mostly. 

You didn’t tell me that, he pointed out. 

Does it matter ? 

Of course it does, he said softly. You matter. 

You let out a small “aw” and blushed. He sat up and stroked your shoulder. 

So, what happened last night that led you to this ? Walk me through it, ok ? 

You sighed and proceeded to tell him everything. How happy you were to see Cassie, how generous and kind she was to you and how much you didn’t want to disappoint her or let her down. How her calling you a dud made you want to gain her approval so badly. You also mentioned that, regardless of the fact that you had messed up, you looked up to her and you wished you could be more like her but only seemed to get as sociable when you were under the influence. 

This girl is a bully, he scoffed. 

No she’s not, you replied. 

That’s high school mean girl 101, Y/N, he said. You do realize she used you as a prop, right ? She played with you like a doll, she dressed you up in that skimpy outfit, ignored you when she wanted to flirt with people and used you to arouse men, either by kissing you or suggesting threesomes…

Well, if you put it like that, it does make her look pretty bad, you mumbled. But she’s my friend ! 

She's not, he groaned. Talia is your friend. Jamal is your friend. I am your friend. This girl ? Nope. 

You sighed. Maybe he was right on some level, but you didn’t want to hear it. After all, Cassie had been there for you numerous times. 

Well, I have to see her today, you said. I still have stuff in her hotel room. 

I’ll take you, he offered. But first, we should discuss what you’re going to do. 

That’s fair. What am I going to do ? 

First, you’re going to tell Talia and Jamal as soon as I take you home. They’re your roommates and they deserve to know that kind of thing. Lying about it would be a shitty idea anyway, he said. 

Talia’s going to kill me, you said. 

She’s not, he said softly. Then, first thing tomorrow, you’re going to a meeting and calling your sponsor. 

Meetings are on wednesday, you said. 

I’ll get you an appointment with a therapist, then. You need to see someone. The earlier the better. If today wasn’t Sunday, you’d be there already. 

You nodded, but tears were welling in your eyes. 

I can’t do it, you said as you choked on your words. Marshall, I just… I can’t. I can’t face people and tell them I fucked up. 

Hey, he said softly as he took your hand in his. Yes you can, and you will. Shit happens. Do you remember what I said when I took you to the observatory ? 

That I’m not alone ? 

Exactly. Your road to recovery doesn’t have to be a lonely one, he reminded you as he stroked your cheek. I got you. So do Talia and Jamal. The others at the studio too. They love you. 

They do ? You asked. 

Yeah. Everyone thinks you’re great. They keep going on about how cute you are. Especially when you fall asleep on the couch, he chuckled. 

Thank you, you whispered as you let your head roll on his shoulder. I love them too, you know ? 

He kissed the top of your head and decided to get up. 

Get up, Dobby, I’ll make you breakfast, he said. 

Are you really going to call me that ? You groaned before letting out a yawn. 

Yep, he said with a smile. You were right, you do look like a house elf in my tee-shirt. 

I wouldn’t have pegged you as a Harry Potter fan, you said with a grin. 

My youngest was obsessed with the movies and books for a while, he chuckled. She’d be so proud of me right now. Anyway, breakfast in ten minutes, ok ? 

You nodded and took some time to stretch as he walked towards the door. 

Oh, and, Dobby ? You’re much hotter in my clothes than in last night’s dress, he added with a wink. 

He left the room and you were speechless. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. 

Have you seen my phone ? You asked Marshall when you walked in the kitchen to the smell of pancakes. 

No idea about your phone, but your purse is on the table, he said. 

You grabbed your phone, that was inside your handbag and checked your phone. You had about fifty notifications. Had you been sleeping that long ? Had the world ended without you knowing ? Was someone dead ?

From : Unknown. “Hey. It’s Jared. Loved meeting you tonight. When are you free for dinner ?”

From : Talia. “Is that really you in the picture with Em ???” 

From : Talia. “Hand holding and stuff ?!?! What is happening ??? I thought you were with Cassie ???” 

From : Talia. “CALL. ME. BACK. I need to knoooooow !!!” 

From : Talia. “If you call me back I promise I will let the questionable outfit slide. We need to talk about your fashion sense tho…”

From : Talia. “I know the two of you are probably busy right now, but call me back when you can ??? I hope he is ravishing the shit out of you right now :)”

From : Unknown. “I just saw the pictures online. I didn’t realize you were with Em ! Sorry I suggested that date. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful at all…!” 

It didn’t take too long to figure out the photos had been published. You quickly went online and saw a bunch of headlines. You also received messages from people you hadn’t seen in a long time. It was as if, suddenly, they remembered you. You knew it was no coincidence.You clicked on an article titled “Eminem in love ?!”. 

“Eminem is known to be somewhat of a recluse and very private about his personal life, but he was spotted leaving a fancy fundraising event in Detroit yesterday night, holding hands with an unknown woman. No smile on his face, as usual, but his jacket on her shoulder and the hand-holding says it all ! The rapper was reportedly holding her tightly and keeping her close when they exited the party and hopped in a car, accompanied by his bodyguards. The news has fans in a frenzy and desperate for details. We do not know the name of the woman, who wore a stunning Sandro dress and Jimmy Choo accessories (no doubt gifted by her wealthy beau). It is the first time the Rap God was spotted with a woman since his divorce from ex-wife Kim, with whom he shares three children.”

Fuck, you mumbled under your breath. 

What’s wrong ? He asked as he placed a plate in front of you. 

You gave him your phone. He took a minute to read the article and groaned. 

Guess Paul was too late, he mumbled. I’m sorry about that, Y/N. 

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 

I don’t care, he said. I mean, I’m used to dating rumors, you know ? It just sucks for you… 

Well… My phone is buzzing with people congratulating me, you giggled. And at least I don’t look wasted on the pics. Although I think it just cost me a date. 

What date ? He asked suspiciously.

A guy named Jared asked me out yesterday, you explained. He’s a football player. 

Jared Goff ? The Lions quarterback ?! 

Yeah, him. Anyway, he just texted and apologized for asking me on a date and hitting on me, you said. 

Sorry for accidentally cockblocking you, he chuckled.

Maybe that’s karma ? You said with a shy smile. Anyway, I don’t think I would have said yes. I wasn’t really myself last night, after all. Poor guy would have been disappointed

He chuckled and you ate breakfast. 

You know, maybe it’s for the best, he commented between bites. Maybe you should hold back on the dating thing. You’re going to have to focus on recovery anyway. 

I guess, you groaned. That’s unfair though. 

How so ? He asked. 

I can’t get drunk, I can’t take pills, I can’t even smoke a fucking cigarette and now I can’t get laid ?! You blurted out. 

You could tell he wasn’t expecting that statement, as he almost spilled his orange juice. 

Classy, he grinned. 

I’m serious, though, you pouted. I’m feeling lonely. I want affection. I want hugs…

He smiled as he put an arm around your shoulders. 

That’s easily remedied, he said softly.

… and I want sex,you continued. 

Aaaand we’re done, he chuckled as he let go of you. 

How did you do it ? You asked. How did you manage to stay abstinent ? Also, when did you start dating again ? 

You’re 27, for God’s sake, do I really have to explain to you how masturbation works, Y/N ? He groaned as your face reddened. 

But it’s not the same, though, you said. I want contact, I want intimacy. Maybe I should get a friend with benefits…

Right, he chortled. Good luck with that. 

You don’t think I could get one ?! You asked in an offended tone. 

Oh, believe me, after the show you put on last night, I know you could get absolutely anyone, he chuckled. But a lot of people seem to think you are spoken for, now. By yours truly, no less. 

Until you put out a statement, that is, you replied. 

Yeah, I’m not doing that. 

What ?! You asked in disbelief. 

A statement will get people talking. Saying nothing and waiting for the thing to die out is probably the best option, he explained. Besides, I wouldn’t be offended if people thought I was with you. I don’t really mind, to be honest. 

So, you’re not worried that it would cockblock you ? 

Nope. If anything, people might be leaving me alone on the subject for a while. I’m not really into dating anyway, he shrugged. 

Are you some sort of asexual hermit monk ? you asked teasingly. 

I think we’ve established that I’m not, he said with a smirk. Unlike some people, though, I know how to keep it in my pants. 

Oh, I can keep it in my pants, you said as you rolled your eyes. I just don’t really want to. 

Right, he chortled. 

Anyway, do you know if Porter is seeing anyone ?  

He froze as you asked the question and dropped the glass he had in hand, causing it to shatter on the floor. 

Shit, he groaned. You’re not serious right ?!

Relax, I’m joking, you giggled. You should see your face, though. It’s hilarious. 

You’re impossible, he said, rolling his eyes. 

You chuckled and helped him clear the glass pieces on the floor. 

Anyway, I get how you’re feeling. But just be careful, ok ? You need to be safe and healthy. That should come first. Not your sexual urges. To answer your question, I didn’t date for a couple of years after getting sober. I just focused on my family and music. Also, I have found that exercising really gets your mind off… You know, he said with a grin. 

I’ll keep that in mind, you chuckled. 

And if you need hugs, I’m here, he said with a smile. Just hugs though. 

You giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

Thanks for being so amazing, you said. Thank you for being here. 

Anything for you, Dobby, he chuckled. 

Anything ? you smirked. Really ? 

Oh, man… Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this ? He sighed with a grin. 

Well, I do look amazing in that Saint Laurent jacket…, you began. I mean, the pictures in the article prove it. 

Not happening, nope, he said as he shook his head. 

Can’t blame a girl for trying, you giggled. Your closet is full of great pieces. 

I’ll tell you what, he said with a smile, if you’re good and put in some work towards your recovery, I might let you borrow some stuff. 

Really ? You squealed. Even the jacket ?

Yeah. Even the jacket. For every sobriety milestone, you get to borrow a thing for my closet. Except for my sneakers and a few pieces of jewelry. The rest is fair game, he said. 

I’m going to crush recovery, you said cockily. 

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dobby, he chuckled. You need to stick to therapy, go to meetings, and mostly, you have to call me or anyone else before you fuck up. Not after. Understood ? 

Yes, sir, you giggled. Totally unrelated, but is 10 hours sober a milestone ? 

Go and take a shower and get dressed, he said as he shook his head. I think I have the clothes you left here last time around there somewhere. Then, I’ll take you to the hotel, ok ? 

An hour later, you knocked at the door of Cassie’s hotel room. Marshall was waiting for you in the parking lot. He offered to go up with you, but you figured that you needed to have a talk with your friend, one on one. As much as you didn’t want to believe what Marshall was telling you about her using you, you wanted things to be clear. 

Hey chérie, she said with a smile as she opened the door and let you into the suite. Last night was sooo fun. I do have a bit of a hangover, though. 

Oh yeah ? You asked awkwardly. 

A guy I met took me to an afterparty, she explained. I ended up coming back here in the morning with a couple of people. They just left. 

Oh, did you…? 

Yes, we fucked, she giggled. 

Speaking of which… Can I talk to you ? 

Of course, she shrugged. 

You sat on the couch and your anxiety levels started to rise. You didn’t quite know where to begin. 

What, you mean to tell me that you got laid by Eminem last night ? she chuckled. 

W-What ?! No, absolutely not, you said. 

Relax, she said. I saw the pictures online, but I figured nothing happened. If that’s any comfort, I don’t think anyone is going to believe it anyway. No offense but… You couldn’t get someone like that. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. Was your friend seriously implying that you weren’t good enough for Marshall ?! You sort of knew that already, but it stung. 

What do you mean by that, Cass ? 

What ? Just the truth, Baby, she shrugged. Men like that, they like beautiful, interesting girls. Not that you don’t look good, but… You’re sort of plain, you know ? You see what I mean, don’t you ? 

I don’t, you said. 

Whatever, she said. I just think you’re not the type to hang out with someone like that. Even as a friend, you know ? I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that. I’m just being honest here. I’m your friend. 

Is that why you basically dragged me into a threesome with him ? Because we’re friends ? 

Oh God, you really haven’t changed, have you ? she asked with a laugh. 

You bit your lip. 

Seriously, you were always so sensitive, Ms Goody Two Shoes. I flirted, it was a joke, alright ? We had kissed earlier because you were being initiating. You’re the one who told me you were horny, remember ? I don’t see what the big deal is. Nothing happened. Even if it did… You would have had a great experience, she said as she rolled her eyes. 

I wasn’t initiating, you muttered. 

You said you were horny, she pointed out. 

Only because of the stuff you gave me, you squealed. 

I gave you this because I knew you wouldn’t have a great time otherwise, Y/N. And guess what ? You had a great time. You danced, you flirted…You were finally acting normal. 

I was drunk. 

What’s the big deal ? She sighed. It happens to everyone. You were drunk, so what ? No one died. 

I just… What I mean to say is… I don’t feel comfortable with what happened last night. It doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not who I am, you know ? You tried to explain, while keeping your composure. 

Maybe you should ask yourself the right questions, Y/N, she scoffed. 

Meaning ? 

Is this really who you want to be ? A 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates, with a sad social life ? You could do so much better with your life. 

In this instant, she managed to break your heart. Recovery and yesterday’s fuck-up aside, you were pretty proud of who you were. Granted, you didn’t have a lot of friends, a boyfriend or a glamorous job. You weren’t a homeowner either. But you always thought you were doing pretty well, especially considering the hand you had been dealt. 

Is it what you think ? You asked as your voice broke. That I’m not good enough ? 

I didn’t say that, she defended herself. 

I thought you were my friend, you muttered. 

I am your friend, Y/N. I want you to thrive, she shrugged. You should be thanking me. Honestly, do you have a lot of people in your life who want the best for you ? 

I do, you said, feeling extremely defensive. I have Talia and Jamal, I have Marshall… 

For how long though ? she asked. 

What do you mean ? 

I’m just thinking that, if you weren’t such a dud, maybe you’d have more people around you, you know ? You’d have more friends. People you meet would stick around. You’d have a boyfriend. Hell, maybe Simon wouldn’t have left you. 

You swallowed dryly and got up. You decided this was your cue to leave. 

I can’t take this anymore. Goodbye, Cassie, you said as you grabbed your things before exiting the room. 

Y/N, wait… 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks when you got to the parking lot. As he saw you come, Marshall immediately got out of the car and engulfed you in a hug. 

What’s wrong? He asked. 

I’m fine, you lied with a breaking voice. 

Bullshit, he sighed. You’re crying. What happened ?

You didn’t talk. Instead, you simply looked in his eyes. As you stared at him, you were reminded of Cassie’s words. “For how long ?”. Suddenly, something hit you and you felt scared. You realized that you were playing a dangerous game. In a matter of months, he had become a constant in your life. Most of the time, not a week went by without you seeing him at least twice. You texted all the time, whether it was to talk about your day or simply to exchange silly jokes. He was always there for you but, as thankful as you were, you were scared of the day he wouldn’t be around anymore. It would come eventually. Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe there was something about you that made people want to leave. And, let’s face it, she was definitely onto something when she said that girls like you usually aren’t interesting enough for people like him. He walked into your life unexpectedly, but you feared the moment he would walk out. He kept on gazing at you, waiting for you to talk, but you couldn’t. 

Talk to me, he said softly. 

I have to go, you whispered. 

Go where ? I don’t understand, Y/N. 

You took a step back and muttered an apology before starting to walk out of the parking lot. At that moment, nothing made sense anymore. You realized that maybe you had been wrong all along. Maybe you were in fact a 27 year-old failure. If so, why bother people ? They would be better off without you, right ? Hell, it wasn’t just about Marshall. It was about all your friends. Maybe you should do them a favor and leave them be. 

You were still wearing your heels from last night, as you obviously didn’t have any spare pair of shoes at Marshall’s place and had not taken the time to change since retrieving your stuff from the hotel room. Your feet hurt but you kept on walking.

Y/N, Marshall called as he followed you. 

Please leave me alone, you said. 

I’m not leaving you alone when you’re crying and just had a slipping episode, he said as he grabbed your arm. Just come with me, ok ? We’ll talk. 

Get away from me !!!! You yelled as you pushed him. 

He looked at you, taken aback. It was the first time you yelled at him and you could tell he was not expecting it. His eyes were full of questions. But what exactly could you say that would actually make sense ? 

I’m sorry, you whispered. I just… I have to… 

You were panting and slurring your words. It was all too much. The only thing you wanted was to get out of here, but as seconds went by, it was clear that your body would not cooperate. You felt a pain in your chest and your heart was pounding. Despite your attempt to move, you were unable to. To make things worse, your eyes were wide open but you couldn’t quite see. It was all a blur. You were feeling trapped. You were on the floor, your hand on your chest. 

Y/N, Marshall said in a soft yet alarmed voice. You need to breathe, ok ? 

I… C-can’t, you stuttered. 

Yes, you can, he reassured you. I’ll help you. I’m going to touch your hand. Is that alright ? 

You tried to nod, to the best of your ability, but your body felt so stiff that you weren’t sure if Marshall could see your reaction or not. Regardless, he got closer and gently took your hand in his before placing it on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat. 

Now, you’re going to try and inhale through your nose and take in as much air as you can, ok ? Can you do that for me ? 

I…

Don’t speak for now. Just inhale. As deep as you can, he directed. And then, exhale slowly. 

Your first tentative attempt to breathe deeply was a complete failure. You thought you were going to end up choking. Yet, after a while, you managed to breathe a bit more normally, slowly. Your hand was against Marshall’s chest, his own breath guiding yours. One of his hands was on your back, gently holding you. 

That’s it. You’re doing so good, Y/N, he encouraged you. 

Mar…, you began. 

Shhh. Just keep breathing for now, ok ? 

As minutes went by, you were shivering, but thankfully, you were breathing properly. 

You’re safe, he said gently. It may not feel like this right now, but I promise. I got you. 

You closed your eyes as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. You stayed like this for a while, unable to tell if it was seconds or hours. Eventually, you came back to your senses. 

Do you feel better ? He asked. 

Yes, you whispered. I’m so sorry. 

What the hell are you apologizing for ? He chuckled. Having a panic attack ? Yeah, you better apologize for things that are out of your control… 

You let out a small, exhausted laugh. He kissed the top of your head and you went back to the car. Your body was stiff and tense. 

Let’s get you home now, he said gently as he started driving. You need some rest. 

Can we… not ? You asked anxiously. 

What’s wrong, Y/N ? He asked. 

I don’t know, you replied. I just…

If you’d had any tears left, you would have cried. Instead, you just choked on your words. You took a breath and tried to speak more clearly. 

I don’t want to face them, you explained. Especially Talia. I can’t disappoint her like this, you know ? 

They’re your friends, he said. Sure, once you come clean about what happened and the fact that you used again, they won’t be too pleased. But you’ll be fine. Because they love you and they care about you. 

For how long, though ? You blurted out. 

What ? 

They would be better off without me. Everyone would be better off without me, you said. I’m a failure. I stall people. Who wants that ? 

You’re only saying that because you slipped and you’re tired, he replied as he shook his head. Is that what your friend told you ? Of all people, I don’t think she is the one you should listen to. 

No, I figured that myself, you said. But as much as I am mad at Cassie right now… She got a few things right. 

Oh yeah ? About what ? He scoffed. 

I’m a failure, you simply said. 

That’s not true.

No, Marshall, you don’t understand ! She said I'm a 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates with a sad social life. That is absolutely true. She also said that… It doesn’t make sense why someone like you would hang out with… someone like me. She’s not wrong about that either. 

He shook his head and scoffed. 

I hang out with you because I like you, Y/N, he said. And because of everything else she said. 

What do you mean ? You asked with a confused look. 

Let’s dissect, ok ? You’re 27. That’s a fact. I don’t have to have an opinion about it. Same goes for the single thing. As for the rest… I think it’s great that you are still in school. It shows that you are driven and that you are full of ambition. You’re getting a fucking PhD, for God’s sake. Not a lot of people can do that, you know ? You’re the smartest person I know. Most of the time, when you talk about your work, I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying. But I see how passionate you are, and it’s fucking inspiring. And you are a dork. But  it’s fucking great. I love that about you. I think that’s the cutest and funniest thing ever. I’m a dork too. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you do have friends. You have us. You have me. You might not be the most sociable person I know. That’s true. But that’s fine. I like that you’re not the loud type anyway. And it’s cool that you live with Talia and Jamal. I’d even go so far as to say that I like it, because otherwise… I wouldn’t have met you, you know what I’m saying ? 

You stared at him and nodded. 

Don’t let her get into your head, he continued. You’re absolutely amazing. There isn’t a thing I would change about you. Meeting you is the greatest thing that’s happened to me in the past year. You’re a ray of sunshine. Every time you walk in the studio, you make everyone’s day better, just by being you. You make those silly jokes, you put up with us and, most importantly, you get us. You’re not one of those groupies who think of us as stereotypes. Especially me. You’re so genuine, it’s refreshing. So don’t let anyone change that. You are exceptional. You are brave, strong, and beautiful, inside and out. 

You couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told you. Sure, you’d received compliments before, but never to this extent. Hell, none of the people you had dated had never made such a declaration. You could tell by the look on his face that he meant every word he had just said. 

I’m scared to lose my friends, you finally said in an emotional voice. Especially you. 

You’re not losing anyone, Y/N. Especially me, he chuckled as he brushed your face with his hand. Don’t you worry about that. You’re pretty much stuck with me. 

You giggled softly before curling on the car seat and watching him for the rest of the drive. You felt comforted, grounded by his presence. It was a good thing, too, because you weren’t too sure how the conversation with Talia and Jamal would turn out.

[marvelsfavoriteuncle]

You Were Gone… \ Marvel AU

Pairing: Jason x Lizzie

——

This could be read as the prelude to this one aka the night before…But it’s mainly a standalone fic

Summary: Every couple got history beneath their feet and complexity underneath the surface, but all that matters is how much of a connection they have between them.

Characters mentioned: Tony, Howard, Maria and Peggy

Note: Angst with a bit of fluff

———

“You don’t get to come here and act like everything is fine, Elizabeth!”

“I know that, Jason! I’m not blind here!”

“No, no, don’t. Don’t smart your way out of this one.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh no, you know exactly what that means.” Jason retorted with a stern look.

Elizabeth crossed her arms, “Enlighten me.”

“You love to criticize me and stop me from talking due to your quips or remarks.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I have done nothing but support and love you!”

“I never said you didn’t.”

“So what is this about?”

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes watered. He took a deep breath before saying, “That you were gone.”

“JJ..” Elizabeth murmured.

“I spent every single minute of my life trying to repair the broken heart that was left.”

“You know that mission was more than enough for me to do. I took the opportunity and I ran with it!”

“I know! And I couldn’t be more proud of you for taking a leap forward for a mission…but you didn’t make it back home. Howard and I spent weeks searching for you. Weeks.”

“Jason, I know you told me all of this before.”

“No, Elizabeth. I didn’t tell you the sacrifice I made after that.”

She furrow her eyebrows slightly, a slight glare as she gestures for him to continue.

“After you gone…I had to pick up the pieces and try to keep them moving.” He admits with a sighed, a tightness in his chest. “Do you know how hard it was to tell Tony that his aunt—the woman he loved just as much as his mother—that she wasn’t coming home?”

Elizabeth’s light glares softened.

“I did my best to cooked, to cleaned, I kept him from drinking and helped made sure he didn’t go hungry…” Jason continued. “Maria was quiet…Howard turned to drinking…and Peggy was just plain hurt..you were gone for good in our lives..I didn’t have no choice, but to sacrifice myself to save the decency of our family.”

She stood silently taking in the newfound information and she mumbled, “I have no idea—no doubt about what you did while I was gone…but, JJ, you know you didn’t have to do that, right?”

“I know…but I did it. Because when I married you, even before that, when we were building our found family…there was a silent promise to care and be there for each other..you know that.”

“I remember…I know that very well. But you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do here, I made a choice to do that myself. And I don’t expect you to go off and act like a fool whenever you want.”

“Actually, I think I earned to act like an idiot now, every once in awhile..”

“Jason.”

——

That was an unspoken tension between them. Words that flow through the heart of their own language built around them. Years they spent having a routine where she worked passionately and he stayed home half of the time, because of the decision to raise their kid, to the fights and disputes that could go on for hours. Or only mere minutes, before they’d moved onto the next topic of conversation. The times where they worked late hours until the end of the day at the office, sharing their thoughts and stories in the evening as if they’d been asleep all week long.

It was a pleasure to be able to speak to each other every time, even see one another without even knowing what they were heading through.

They were a couple of a different time.

A pair of folks didn’t belong in the same place.

Yet there was this particular pattern they fell into. An explanation neither of them considered to be placed into, yet they set themselves in this position.

The only reason the discussion started was due to Elizabeth’s constant need for control over everything and Jason lack of being boxed into a single narrative. So he been going flying lately and she supported him on it, as she decided to stay home and work on her own projects in the meantime. Yet, it’s gotten out of hand as they started nitpicking things about the other side of the story.

How things used to be back, then versus how they are now. How one is coming home late and other is working late. How their rhythm wasn’t working anymore—well, it wasn’t the same as it was before, let’s put it that way.

Eventually they started bringing out each other’s dirty laundry. Insults, insecurities and even inconveniences.

Calling each other ridiculous for certain things. Particularly, shouting over each other like a staged performance.

It was a mess at the moment but their love wasn’t.

Their love wasn’t a mistake or a fact—it was designed by the stars.

The only bad thing about their relationship was the tragedy of it. How time decided to be ripped away from their grasp by the forces they couldn’t control or even comprehend themselves.

Time was the tragedy for the relationship between two of them.

She was the woman out of time and he was the man frozen in time.

It was complexed but it was their taste of reality and romance set into motion.

——

A beat of silence ran over the entire floor.

“What? You wanna tell me I’m wrong? Huh?” Jason said with a hint of sarcasm and challenged in his tone. “No. Go ahead, Liz. Tell me I’m wrong.”

She was quick on her heels, her finger wagging as her eyes darted in his direction. “You are wrong.” Elizabeth remarked fiercely.

“I knew it. Because I’m always the idiot here in this conversation, aren’t I?”

“I never once said that. You’re one of the smartest, most caring and patient guys I ever met. It’s one of the reason why stuck around.”

“…oh. Then where am I wrong then?”

“The flying part. JJ, darling, I love you so very much but I can’t afford you making stupid decisions like flying around in a plane and accidentally getting hurt. I don’t want that for you.”

“You don’t realize I’m licensed to fly, right?”

She nods knowingly at his statement. She then asked, “Then why do it? Why do you think you earned to be an idiot?”

“The same reason, you believe you earned to be a, and I say this affectionately, a bit of an idiot in the lab.” He replied carefully.

“To have a sense of freedom and peace from the stuff weighing us down…”

“You know that tinkering in our own ways, if it’s a plane or an invention, lets us forget about it all…”

Jason once again spoke hating how he’s going to repeat the phrase again.

“Doll, you were gone for so long and I missed out on taking care of us.” He admitted gently, his thumb resting against her chin. “So everything I’ve been doing lately has to cope with this situation.”

Elizabeth knew what he meant as she sighed.

“And it hasn’t been easy for either of us.” She admitted sincerely as her voice was more gentle than usual. “As much as I want to admit we’re doing amazing…it’s been a world wind and I missed us being together.”

“We still are..we always will be.” He added.

She joked, “And we aren’t ones to do therapy, let alone couples therapy.”

That caused the two of them to finally crack a deal loaded with soft laughter. It was truly a marvel that with their history and experience, they hadn’t done therapy.

——

Elizabeth has had a lot on her mind during their conversation—well the argument that mellowed down—what do they love about each other? Is this situation permanent? Are they destined to become a romantic tragedy?

Then she had to ask.

“What are we? Some old couple of folks who aren’t meant for this?” She wondered sitting in her chair, her nails tattered against the table.

He furrows his eyebrows as he responds, “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I can’t believe I’m going ask this…but is our story just as old and over as us? I don’t want it to end..in my heart and my head, it never will.”

“Oh honey…”

“I’m usually more confident than this. Jason, I love this…us, I don’t want us to lose our minds here..our story…”

Jason took that moment to kneel down, he squatted in a position for he can stare into her beauty. The same beauty he saw all those years ago. She took his hand and squeezed it, pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles. Every time she looked at him, he got more handsome. The exact same face she did a double take back for during the war.

If was up to Elizabeth, she would stop this nonsense and take him down right now. No questions asked.

He smiled lightly, his next words coming out completely clear from his heart hushing her worries.

“Listen to me, I love us too, just as much as you. And our great love story, I know it may not feel like it right now, but baby, I promise you, it’s just getting started.” He said softly.

Before her brain can even comprehend what she did, she leaned down pressing a soft kiss against his lips and gently lifted his chin against her fingertips. He appeared stunned by the fact her lips touched his, not expecting her to move forward, but he welcomed her warmth nonetheless. She wasn’t the greatest with words but her kiss said it all.

The wonder, desire and connection between them.

They’ll be a fine line.

The two were just gonna be alright.

~~~

~~~~~

I wrote this on a whim 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s kinda all over the place but I think it turned out well

Let me know what you think

Tags: @ask-starrk @missstrawbs2001 1 @purpleprincessonfyre @wizzzardofoz z @thechoooooosenone @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh h h @marvelsfavoriteuncle @elzabeth-stark @sci-fi-lexcon n @jackiequick @blueboirick @gcthvile @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel l @trulysummersprivate

[angelllbby222]

Conflicted: Pt. 8🎀

i have 2 chapters for yall today i’m posting the other one later tonight ;)

Maddy P.O.V

I don’t really remember what happened after my breakdown at the beach because I had fallen asleep on the way back to the apartment.

And when I woke up I was tucked into my bed with the lights closed.

I looked around for my alarm clock to check the time and it read 11:00 pm.

I was out for that long?

I peeked around and saw some light coming from underneath my door meaning someone was awake in the kitchen.

Although I didn’t hear any noises I figured whoever it was, was probably just watching MTV.

Duff usually stayed up till 2 in the morning before calling it a night so it could most definitely be him or…..Izzy.

I stood up and ripped my door open, expecting to see my brother seated on the couch, which he was, along with Izzy.

They were both watching tv silently, as if they had had an argument , and neither was acknowledging the other.

“Finally. You're awake," Duff said, not in the least bit excited to see me.

Strange.

“Come and sit here, Maddy," he urged, patting the empty space next to him on the couch that was far away from Izzy.

"W-What's wrong?" I questioned, stealing a look at Izzy, who refused to move his gaze away from the television screen.

I could tell by his face something was wrong. That face he always made when he was angry was very visible right now.

“I’m only gonna ask you this once and you better fucking tell me the damn truth Maddy Elizabeth Mckagan.”

“Are you and Izzy fucking?”

“What! Why would you say something like that.” I squealed jumping up from my seat catching Izzy’s attention.

“We’re definitely not fucking Duff.” Izzy barked lighting up a cigarette.

“Then what’s going on! I’m not an idiot like you both may think. I can hear whispers and even the tiniest of noises from my bedroom.”

“At first I thought you would be sneaking Angela in every night when everyone would be sleeping. But then I woke up to pee one night and I peeked outside to see the action and I see Maddy on top of you!” he snapped pushing Izzy.

“I’m not sleeping with Maddy, if you want the honest truth but I did fool around with her.”

“How far did you do with her?”

“Duff please let it go-

“You have no right to be talking right now Maddy. Now let him finish.” Duff threatened making me sit back down and accept what was to come.

“We just messed around like y’know rubbing on each other and shit.” Izzy stated attempting to hide the smirk that was threatening to appear.

Duff was very quiet for a bit and placed his hands on his hips like he was thinking about what to do next.

I could see how angry he was by the way his chest was moving up and down in big breaths.

“I want you out of my fucking apartment. Fucking now!” my brother yelled grabbing Izzy by the shirt and shoving him into the door.

“Duff stop please. I-I love him.”

“You what?” he asked very quietly.

“I love Izzy.” I mumbled staring at him with glossy eyes.

“I can’t believe this right now. My sister and one of my best friends going behind my back like this.”

“I can’t even stand to look at you.” he glared with disgust.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen I swear.” I cried grabbing onto my brothers arm.

He shoved me off his arm and stomped off into his room slamming the door so loud that a few of the kitchen decor fell and broke.

“Fuck this.” was all Izzy said before leaving out the door and leaving me standing there a mess all by myself.

“Izzy wait!” I yelled chasing after him outside the apartment.

“Izzy please just wait.”

“Maddy just leave me alone.” he huffed slightly annoyed by me stopping him.

“No I won’t. I won’t leave you alone until you tell me why your being so mean to me. All I said was I love you.”

“You don’t love me. You’re only 16. I know what it’s like to feel that way towards someone and I don’t feel it about you.”

“I’m sorry.” he said before turning around and leaving.

“I’m sorry.” rang throughout my head and it just felt like my heart got stabbed a thousand times over and over again.

Izzy P.O.V

Fuck I felt like the biggest asshole on earth after saying that lie to Maddy.

The truth was that I had never felt this way about any girl before and it scared me to even think about it.

But I did love Maddy. She just couldn’t know. I would rather have her hate me than know I love her too.

Because once she finds out she’ll want to be in a relationship and expect things out of me like a normal boyfriend and I can’t do that for her.

My whole life I’ve never had an actual faithful relationship and I wasn’t so sure if I was ready to give all of that up.

Maddy was the perfect girl anyone could ever ask for but out of Duff’s sake I was going to stay away from her.

As much as I loved Maddy I felt the same way about Duff.

He was like a brother to me and I couldn’t continue on this way with his little sister if he felt so harshly about it.

And I was worried about him kicking me out of the band even though he didn’t have that much power, lately Axl had been a major asshole towards me so it wouldn’t be a shock if I found out I was kicked out just because of this.

The best option for now was to stay away from Maddy at all costs.

[arvensnumberone]

Together forever – Arven x Reader

Together forever – Arven x Galarian!Reader

First post okkk, I genuinely didn’t know what to make the title, and I hate this so much cause I started writing in Y/n’s POV instead of Narrators POV and I can’t write for Y/n’s POV like ever it’s so bad. I’m not happy with this at all I’m probably gonna re-write this like one day. Also I didn’t really know how to write the second part (after the line) so that part was rushed and not as well-written as the first part was. Also reader is gn, if I used she/her or he/him anywhere where I should have used they/them pls lmk,

Warnings(?): Kissing(really light), cringe(extremely), sensitive reader(reader cries like 5 times I think) I don’t think there’s anything else and none of these are really ‘warnings’ so yea!

Words: 1 820(including stuff above the line), 1 690(excluding stuff above the line)

………………………………………………………………………………

             This week was graduation week. All my seniors were overjoyed at the fact they were finally graduating. Several graduation parties were being held right before the last day of school since final exams had just ended. I was of course happy too, I could finally be a senior myself and I was soon going to be a year closer to graduating. But a part of me just really wasn’t happy as well. The thought of all my friends leaving me behind didn’t sit right with me. I was the youngest in my friend group. Nemona, Penny, and Arven. They were all a year above me. The reason we became friends was well, I don’t really actually even remember. That’s not the point here though. The point is that all my close friends would be leaving me, I could deal with it during class since there were a few people in my class who I had taken a liking too and was able to be their partners during projects. But outside of class I relied on them. It made me anxious to even think about being all alone again. I didn’t know what to do. I stared at the clock it was almost time for class. Had I really been awake from 11pm all the way till 6am? I usually fell asleep easily thinking about all sorts of things. It was easy for me to fall asleep; in fact I enjoyed it, being able to close your eyes and not have to worry about anything.

             I dragged my feet into class, the day was spent mainly fooling around, playing bored games, etc. Nothing really interesting. I dozed of majority of the time, or just listened to my classmates talking about what they were going to do during summer break and how we all should meet up. If you ask me the idea wasn’t bad, but I’d rather sleep in.

              I opened my eyes as I heard the bell ring for break. I hurriedly got up from my seat and rushed over to the area me and my friends usually sat at. I waited for a bit. And waited some more. . . .It didn’t seem like they were coming, they were probably on that field trip they were talking about. Apparently they were going today morning I think and are coming back on the last day of school. Must be nice. I got up from the place I was sitting at and walked around while eating my lunch. I settled for sitting in a corner and just watch the younger students run around and play tag until the bell rang.

             The rest of the day was pretty boring just going around from class to class and listening to student’s gossip. Eventually though I had arts. The teacher had requested us to draw something that came from our hearts. Whatever that meant. I stared at the blank sheet of paper I had gotten and thought of what I could even draw. Before I even knew it I started drawing, a boy I think. I couldn’t really tell yet. I was simply just drawing what I felt like I should. All of a sudden I stared back down at the paper and saw a boy, or maybe it was a girl? The hair seemed familiar almost too familiar. My cheeks felt hot as I realized who I started drawing, I crumpled up the drawing and threw it away. Screw my brain. I only had 10 more minutes to draw something. I eventually grabbed another paper and quickly sketched out an Umbreon and Espeon and handed it.

             I walked out of class and walked to my dorm, oh my Arecus was I lonely. I should probably try and make some friends in my grade next year. I fiddled with the keys to my dorm and walked inside closing the door behind me. I took off my shoes and crawled onto my bed. I stared at the wall and my stomach was making funny knots. It didn’t hurt but it sure didn’t feel good either. I thought I was having a stomach ache or something of that sort but it didn’t feel the same. This either happened from the thought of being lonely or whatever I was doing in art class. I turned around I threw my head into my pillow before I felt my phone vibrating. I groaned as I opened it. It was from the gc with me and my friends. They had apparently been messaging in there for like what 10 minutes now? I don’t know how I just realized. I opened the gc and scanned over the messages.

Arven Hey buddy! How ya doing?

-10 minutes ago

Nemona HI YN ARE YOU AWAKE OR DID U SLEEP THROUGH ALL YOUR CLASSES AGAIN ??

-5 minutes ago

Penny Calm down it’s been 5 minutes plus its 4pm, they’re probably heading back to their dorm.

-5 minutes ago

Arven But what if something happened? They usually respond really quickly even if they’re in class

-4 minutes ago

Nemona Exactly

-4 minutes ago

Penny What’s your point you imbeciles

-4 minutes ago

Arven Ouch words hurt penny

-3 minutes ago

Penny And idc

-1 minute ago

               Weren’t they all in the same place? Why were they communicating in a group chat.. I stared at the messages. I didn’t really know what to say and you were too tired to even reply back. But it was obvious I had read it by now so I quickly typed a quick good night to the group chat and set my phone aside, not bothering to see what they had said afterwards.

             I changed out of my uniform and into something else and jumped onto my bed as I closed my eyes. But same thing as last night, I couldn’t sleep. I found myself wanting to cry at the thought of being lonely again. I didn’t want to be alone, or for them to go, I really loved them. I loved how energetic Nemona could be, I admired her for that. I also really loved Penny and how sweet she could be underneath all that ice. I especially loved Arven, I couldn’t really pinpoint why but I knew I did. Just thinking of him made my heart flutter. At some point I started crying into my pillow, it was just too much for me to handle at the time.

………………………………………………………………………………

             The whole week had passed with the same schedule. Today they were finally graduating and you’d be a senior. The morning half of your classes was some-what fun, I wish I could enjoy it as much as my classmates had been. I hated the thought of being alone, but I had to accept it. The bell rang and I got up, your vision was blurry, though there weren’t any tears in it and my chest started hurting. Everything felt un-real. Maybe I was being dramatic. I got up from my seat as the bell rang. I was walking to the table me and my friends usually sat at. My walking came to a halt and I turned around. I can’t really explain what came over me but I really didn’t wanna see them right now. I was sort of starting to regret walking away but I couldn’t help it, I just needed some space at the moment.

             The rest of the day passed by fairly quickly, I was just lying down on my bed while watching tv till all of a sudden my phone started vibrating. I hurriedly reached for it and checked it. It was a message from Arven.

“Hey buddy where you at?”

“At my dorm, why?”

“Aren’t you gonna come orr”

“Oh Yea ok I’ll be down there give me a minute”

“cya” liked by y/n

             You changed into one of your outfits and put on your shoes and ran out of your dorm closing the door behind you. You went outside and started searching for your friends. You found them eventually standing near a fountain, talking.

“Hey”

“Hi”

“Hey Y/n!”

“Hey buddy”

             We all stared at each other awkwardly in silence till Nemona spoke up.

“I’m just gonna get some food be right back”

“I’ll go with you wait” Nemona ran off with Penny trailing behind.

“So…where were you all day?”

“I was just walking around, kinda forgot you all came back from your trip today sorry”

“Oh, I wanted to give you something”

“Hm?”

             Arven grabbed something from his backpack and handed it to me. It was a…a pokeball? A cherish one to be exact. I grabbed the pokeball and examined it carefully.

“Go ahead, open it”

“Oh, there’s something inside?”

“Y/n…it’s a pokeball…why would I give you an empty one…”

“Oh.”

             I threw the pokeball out excited to see what pokemon was inside. It was a… an applin? I looked back at him, his face was a light read color and I looked back at the applin. I examined a bit more till it finally hit me. My face was burning and I was sure he could feel the heat radiating off of me by now.

“You love me?” Why am I so stupid? Of course that’s why he gave me an applin, there’s no other explanation! I’m from Galar, and he just came back from a trip to Galar!

“Yea, I totally get if you don’t feel the same wa-“

             I cut him off by placing a kiss on his cheek. “I love you too! I never would have thought you liked me back..I guess that’s why I ignored you guys when you all came back, I couldn’t stand seeing you all at the time…I especially couldn’t see you, my chest felt tight whenever I even thought of you leaving so I just avoided you all, I’m so-“I was cut off by him placing a kiss on my face and pulling away.

“You talk too much sometimes, you know? I already knew that you idiot! And, I’ll never leave you, so come on let’s go find those two.” He said grabbing my hand to go search for Penny and Nemona together.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS Fall - Chapter 15 - Part 1

BOOK TWO: The 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning Adult Content*

Samuel Moretti

I wanted Noah all to myself, was I selfish to wish we had spent Halloween with just us two?

Not go to some shitty college party and watch Jude flirt with my boyfriend and how dense can Noah be to not realize the flirting?

Jude laughing at almost everything Noah was saying and sometimes even touch Noah's arm and linger it there.

Maybe I was being irrational but I knew flirting and Jude was flirting.

I was getting pissed off and when I was angry mixed with alcohol in my system, I was not fun to be around.

I thought about asking Noah to ditch the party but I didn't want to seem like a buzzkill and Noah should be getting the full college experience which included the house parties.

I'd feel guilty if I made us leave, so to compensate for not wanting to be there, I got four shots deep and downed two drinks.

It wasn't a smart decision by any means.

Back in the garage with Noah and his friends, we were all chatting, well they were.

I was trying not to show my disgust every time Jude opened his mouth.

Being plastered, I didn't remember much,but their conversation went something like this...

"Bro, I don't know how Professor Davis even got his job," Jude said to Noah when Noah spoke about one of his classes.

My boyfriend and Jude apparently had the same professor but on different days.

They both were bonding over their dislike for him.

"I know," Noah agreed.

"He's so fucking slow at reading and all he does is read the text book. Half the time he falls asleep."

Noah imitated his professor falling asleep and then waking back up in a startle.

Jude laughed, placing a hand on Noah's 'thigh'.

"Noah, you're fuckin' funny, that was spot on, for real."

I couldn't take my eyes off Jude's hand on Noah's thigh and Noah did 'nothing' about it as he laughed in his stoned state as well.

'Fuck that.'

I grabbed Noah's hand and stood up, making my boyfriend stand up with me.

"We'll be right back," I told Jude with a fake smile before dragging Noah away from him.

When we exited the garage, Noah asked...

"What's wrong?" shouting over the chaotic music.

I didn't respond, instead, I walked us up the stairs and found us an empty bedroom.

I pulled Noah in and locked the door behind us.

"Sam..."

I shoved him onto the bed, climbing on top of him and started kissing him.

"Hmm," Noah sounded as he brought his hand to the back of my ear and kissed me back.

His tongue slipped in my mouth.

He tasted like marijuana but I didn't care.

I tugged at his hair and grounded my body down on his.

Noah seemed to be into it but when my hands went to his jeans, Noah nudged me back.

"Sam, slow down. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just want you to fuck me," and forget about that stupid Jude.

"I'm sorry but you're drunk and I'm not, so I'm not going to fuck you like this," Noah told me sternly.

"I don't care," I told him and brought my lips back to his.

Again, he stopped me.

Noah moved me off of him and stood up.

"We're not fucking doing this when your shitfaced. Why don't you lay down in here? Jude won't mind."

'Jude. Jude, Jude, Jude.' '

I realized I had brought us to Jude's bedroom and it seemed as though Noah knew that.

Had Noah been in Jude's room before?

I wanted to throw up but maybe because of the alcohol.

I grunted as my response.

"We'll leave soon, okay? I'm just gonna go tell them goodbye. Stay here. I'll be back," and he kissed me on the forehead before walking out of the bedroom.

I fell back onto the bed and tried not to picture Jude kissing my boyfriend.

I couldn't believe Noah was friends with him in the first place.

Jude wasn't even funny.

The only thing they seemed to have in common was smoking weed, was that the only quality needed to consider friendship?

I thought I was going to fall asleep but I kept forcing my eyes to stay awake because I didn't want to stay here any longer.

As soon as Noah returns, we are leaving but Noah didn't come back for another forty minutes.

"Hey, sorry, I got sucked into a conversation."

I didn't respond because I knew that would happen.

Sitting up, my head felt wobbly with a faint throb starting to grow.

Noah helped me up and let me lean on him as we walked through the house.

Outside, I immediately felt happier.

We were finally leaving.

I almost laughed in my drunk relieved stated, until I tripped, missing a cement step that led to the driveway filled with cars.

Noah grabbed me tighter and kept me from falling.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, sorry. Hey, do you remember when you first got drunk in front of me?" I asked Noah, leaning on him.

"You told me I tasted good after you licked my neck."

"Pfft, shut the fuck up, I did not," he denied lightheartedly.

I giggled.

"You did. Like this," and I licked his neck just like he had at our first party together.

That night felt like ages ago.

"You're slobbering on me," Noah spoke with a slight chuckle as he shook his head to nudge my own head away.

"I'm positive I did not do that to you."

I stumbled again and I was too out of it to comprehend opening the car door on my own.

So, while Noah had to keep me steady, he also had to maneuver his hand to his back pocket to reach for his keys.

I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't making it easier on Noah.

I was handsy and being silly and telling stories that were half slurred.

I was going to tell Noah what else he had said that night to me but Jude was jogging up to us.

"Noah, let me help," he offered 'kindly' as he opened the passenger side door so that I could get in.

I stopped leaning on Noah as I faced Jude.

"We don't need your..."

I made a weird burping noise and Noah quickly stepped back before it happened.

I vomited... all over Jude.

"Eh," came from Jude with a disgusted expression.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Now you match with your personality," I laughed.

Noah didn't find that funny.

"Jude, I'm so sorry. I've unfortunately been there, so I knew it was coming. Let me go get you..."

"It's fine," Jude cut Noah off.

"Have a good night, Noah," he said to my boyfriend then gave me a sharp look before turning around and heading back into the house.

I laughed.

"That might've been the best part of this shitty night," Noah scoffed.

"Fuck you, Sam." 

My laughing ceased.

"So sorry you had a shitty time with me," he spoke angrily but almost like he was hurt by what I said.

Then I felt like crying and felt guilty.

I knew Noah wanted me to get along with his friends but couldn't he see how Jude treated me?

The only nice friends of his were Alice and Kyle and I didn't even speak to Kyle.

Noah didn't stop when we were both in the car.

"Maybe I'll just drop you off at your house and I'll go home."

"What? No. I'm sorry but Jude was..."

"Everyone was fucking nice to you, Sam and you did the one thing I asked you not to. You got drunk. You always ask me to see things from your point of view, can you at least do the same for me? I want my friends to be your friends but you get in your head too damn much."

Part of me wanted to yell at Noah and argue my side of it.

The other part of me felt like crap because maybe Noah was right.

So, instead I kept quiet.

I crossed my arms and looked out the window.

He drove me home.

Noah actually drove me home and was going to leave to his apartment like he said in the car.

At first, I was going to let him go because I was upset and too stubborn to beg for him to stay but when Noah brought me upstairs to my bedroom and made sure I was safe and sound and ready for bed, I knew I would regret letting him leave.

Noah still looked angry with me.

"Get some sleep. Call me tomorrow when you're up."

He turned around to leave but I quickly reached out to him,.

"Stop. Stay the night. Please," I ended up begging.

I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing Noah was frustrated with me.

"Don't leave mad at me. Stay the night," I pleaded again.

Noah looked at me for a moment as he contemplated his choices.

"Please, I'm sorry," I reiterated desperately.

He sighed and whispered.

"Okay."

He stripped out of his pants and suspenders after kicking off his shoes and pulling his socks off.

He tossed the plastic firer fighter hat onto my floor.

"Move over," he demanded. I scooted to the right and tried not to look too satisfied at Noah staying the night with me and I fell asleep in the comfort of his arms.

[harrison-abbott]

empty and unwashed

This girl I used to date called Cassie got back in touch with me after a year, saying she would like to see me again. She’d broken it off with me, last November, and I’d been pretty hurt about it. But, on the phone, she said she was sorry about what happened and that she would like to meet up once again. And, in the bar, she was super friendly and touchy, and her big pretty face had me fooled all over again. She asked if she could come back to the flat that night? She’d be staying in a hostel otherwise. It would only be for one night? I said yes, sure. And, I took her back home. When we got into the living room she started kissing me. And the smell of her perfume and the length of her legs and her purple hair got me all bamboozled all over again. We slept together, and we both seemed to climax at the same time, and then we talked into the night, and then fell asleep. Cassie woke up before I did. I got up, hearing her singing in the kitchen. When I went through there, I found that she had helped herself to the toast and the cereal and orange juice. None of those items were mine: they belonged to my flatmate. But, I didn’t say anything. She really did look terrific. I made myself some toast too and I sat down at the table with her. In an hour I needed to go to work, for a long shift. She asked if she could stay here for another night, until she had to go back home. I said yes. As I was getting ready for work, Cassie asked me if she could borrow a little money? Please? Because it was Wednesday and her salary was coming through on Friday. She was a bit low. I said yeah, once more, for some dumb reason. Maybe because I was a loser. Am one, rather. It baffled me why she was tight for money because in the bar last night she had bought about five rounds. But I had a tenner in my wallet and so I gave her it. And then I ventured off to work. For a nine hour shift. And told her I would see her when I got back. The shift was pretty dull. Throughout nine hours of working a bad job, your mind can go through several divergent stages. When I went in to work in the morning, I was euphoric that Cassie had come back to me. By the afternoon I was leaden with apprehension, that it was not a good idea, whatsoever, that she was back. And then by the evening there was a mix of those feelings, as well as a wonder of what she would be like when I got back to the flat.

I got the bus home. And went up the stairs to my flat. By the way: my flatmate wasn’t here at the moment – she was off on a trip to London. So it was just Cassie and me here. “Cassie?” I called. There was no answer. I went into the living room. She wasn’t there. She wasn’t in the bedroom either, or the kitchen. I called her. She didn’t pick up. I went back to the kitchen and opened the fridge. And, the bowl of pasta that I had kept for the dinner tonight wasn’t there anymore. The bowl was in the sink, empty, and unwashed. And there was dirty cutlery in there, too. Cassie had even opened one of the bottles of champagne that was in the upper cupboards, that somebody had given me as a Christmas gift. She’d drank three quarters of it. And she had left her cigarette butts in a mug of mine. She knew it was my mug! She must have, because that was my favourite mug that I had for coffee. All in all, the whole thing was my own stupidity. I don’t get why she got in touch with me again. Just for sex? Maybe she was hoping that I would give her more money than just a tenner. I went back into the bedroom, feeling like such a degenerate. With me I had taken the leftover champagne that she had decided to steal, and drank the rest of it. And then I slept. Was just suddenly so tired that I fell back with my clothes on and I didn’t get up again. Until, at about 4 a.m., I was awoken with my phone ringing. It was Cassie, calling me. I thought about picking up, but, her ring had already annoyed me. And I remembered what she had done the day before. So I let it ring out. I remembered when I was with her, for 18 months, being treated in a similar manner by her. That manipulation, cobbled with somebody who was totally using me. She then sent me a text saying, “I’m outside, honey. Can you let me in?” And, a minute later I heard the buzzer buzz. But, I couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. I was an idiot to think that she had even changed. So, what I did was: I put the pillow over my head. And ignored the consecutive buzzes that she rang from down on the street. It wasn’t my duty to let her use me for another night. After twenty minutes or so, the buzzing quit. And, I simply went back to rest.

[thesillyechoinmymind]

im gonna be honest, ever since i've gone back to school my thoughts about you have intensified. like yea sometimes i would remember you but now it's hard to Not think about you, especially when im walking though the places we walked, or when im eating something specific or anything really (DOUBLE ESPECIALLY BC IT'S NOW OFFICIALLY A YEAR and two days since we broke up). im also curious about how you're doing, your project, how france was, stinky... i have so many questions but im scared to see you because. because well you basically told me to stop interacting with you last summer and i don't want to bother you. i wouldn't know what i'd do if i Did bump into you, probably make a fool of myself.

Im doing things i couldn't do with you before, in the sense that im going out more, hanging around tec more, going to my friend's apartment and eating there or chilling and im not questioned and there's no pressure or fear of getting yelled at when i get back. like the other day after class i went to a friend's place and we ate and they left to costco and i fell asleep bc i didn't wanna go and i had a meeting at 8 pm and i got home until like 9:40? 10??? with no questions or anything. i did tell my mother where i was tho and it wasn't rly questioned either. im never forgetting what they did. i don't think i could ever forget, no matter how much i want to.

Anyways thinking about that makes me feel frustrated because i missed out on so many things with you JUST because my parents didn't like you and because i was just too scared to fight back completely. I really wish... i wish so many things honestly. but i digress, this first (eternal) week has been so draining and emotional, felt a range of different emotions these days and im so tired sigh. i'll get used to it ig? i could also talk to someone about it but what more can i say? i miss you? i wish things were different? im sorry i broke your heart and potentially ruined (or tainted) Valentines day? i wish we could be friends?

???¿¿¿

anyways x2 i don't know how to end this post. but yea. hope you're well and i'll.. deal w this, i have to get up early tmrw so yea. good night.

[its0046rightnow]

no. 1

I have not been on tumblr in years, but returning here to write what will essentially be diary entries feels appropriately melodramatic.

Almost a year ago I got with somebody for the first time. Not just a first time "getting with" - I had never so much as kissed anyone before that (I can't remember if he knows that). At first I was so naively happy. I thought he was cool. As much as it pains me to admit it, I genuinely did like him. And I thought he liked me.

As such, we fooled around a few more times before officially going all the way. It was at that point that everything went downhill, though it should have been much sooner. The sex was bad. Even though I convinced myself in the moment that it was worth going through with (and doing once more...), it was just so bad. Objectively. I was definitely not any good for him, but honestly it was horrific for me. I have a high pain tolerance and do not cry, but I cried just a little then. I don't think he noticed, or if he did, he pretended not to. It hurt in a way that I later learned is not normal. In retrospect I've come to believe those women on tiktok that proclaim that your body tries to reject a partner that isn't good for you; mine certainly did then.

The physical pain was one thing, but you can just lay there and take that. Without exaggeration I can say that that night was the start of the lowest I have ever felt mentally (if not the lowest, certainly the lowest I have been made to feel by another person). He had been so polite in asking if every little thing was alright, and then out of nowhere (that's how it felt) there was a hand gripping my neck and then slapping me. I was in shock. I didn't say anything or try to move because it was such a shock to my system (you could say... a slap in the face... :P). When it was over he told me to go to the bathroom and I had to stay in there for ages, both to collect myself and because I thought I was bleeding out. It looked like a crime scene. I came back, he fell asleep turned away from me, and I have never felt more lonely. Tried to go at it again the next morning and had to stop because my body couldn't take it. He would never fully walk me out of his place and that always pissed me off. Went home on the bus and felt numb. Felt numb for the rest of the day until he messaged with an unfunny joke about how there were bloodstains. The numbness was gone and I wanted to throw up. A month of painfully dry messages sent once a day (and then once every 2 days, then every few), and I did it again. God knows why. I think I believed that it would be better, having gotten the first time out of the way. It wasn't.

I saw him less than 48 hours later at an event, and the first thing he said to me was that he forgot I was coming. I would shoot myself in the foot before saying that to another person. "I do not listen to what you say because you are insignificant to me, and I am going to announce that so you know you are insignificant to me." The hell.

I guess in a way he got what he wanted: he has a fetish and I checked the right boxes, apparently. I was able to figure out that he did on my own, but recently I've been told that his fetish is apparently infamous. Since my hypothesis was proved there, I feel that I can also say he watches too much (any) porn: the out-of-the-blue choking and slapping and general disregard for my wellbeing make me think that at a very essential level he sees women only as objects, and ones for his pleasure at that. I really picked a winner.

In conclusion, this experience is the biggest shame and embarrassment of my life (according to google they are two different things but both apply). I am so horrified that that man can say he's been with me. I hate that it took me a few whole months to be able to decisively say that I never want to touch that man again. I hate that I still think about it to this day. I hate that all the dates I have since went on have gone so poorly that I cannot say from personal experience that not all men are like that. And I know logically that they're not. But the experience has sort of made me asexual.

Will maybe post again on another night where I am overthinking this (lots of nights). Part of me doesn't want anyone to ever read this. Part of me is somehow hoping that he'll read this (I don't think he has tumblr) and realize why I can't respect him (I don't think he has the maturity to self-reflect like that). I have moved on obviously but would still like for it to become a very distant memory. <3

[readingstufffff]

The Box 📦

Sevika x Gn reader

Warnings: a little bit of swearing

Rated fluff maybe a little bit steamy

I This is a continuation of my last story <3

Enjoy :)

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

The first time meeting Sevika hadn’t gone how you’d planned. Not that you had actually even intended to meet her. She had caused your heart rate to sky rocket with so much as a blink of an eye. You had no idea how you would react the next time you’d see her, so you decided to keep away from The Last Drop for a few days. No matter how much your heart ached to go see the beautiful woman. You were too afraid of making a fool out of yourself in front of her. Even worse you were afraid she wouldn’t like you or worse hate you.

Just like that the days had passed and it had been a week since you had gone to The Last Drop. You hadn’t done much. You just cooked, cleaned, hung out with Mocha( your little brown cat). Apart from that no thing else had happened, or at least that was how it had been until Jinx showed up at your house. She looked extatic ready to burst if you will. She apparently had some awesome news, which you couldn’t wait to hear. So you immediately sat her down so she could explain.

Your heart had never dropped so fast.

+=+=+=+=+

You sighed into your coffee. Remembering what Jinx had come by to tell you. She had come to remind you that tomorrow would be her birthday, and she wanted you to come over and celebrate with her.

“Well I guess so much for distancing myself.” You whispered to yourself as you put your mug in the sink and headed to your bedroom for money. You decided to go buy Jinx a present and reminded yourself you’d only be going yo hang out with Jinx no more. Of course life hated you and all ways found a way to bite you in the ass, but right now you didn’t want to think about that, so about your day you went. Heading to a couple of stores before finding the perfect present and heading back home to wrap it up. Throughout the night you could feel your heart jump out of your chest every time you thought about meeting Sevika again. However each time you pushed those feelings away and reminded yourself that wouldn’t happen. The hours passed in flash and you finally fell asleep, dreading going to The Last Drop.

The next morning you quickly changed, grabbed Jinx’s present and of course packed a bag with clean clothes (just in case). This time remembering to pack a shirt meanwhile looking at the shirt you had been wearing pondering if you should take it just in case, but you brushed the thought away. Then you left soon after heading to meet Jinx for her birthday.

When you got to the entrance of the building and you could see it was closed as the bodyguards were no longer there and there was no music on. So with a deep breath you raised your fist knocking and yelling to whoever was inside “ Hey, it’s me! Could you please open the door?!”. You lowered your hand rocking back and forth on your feet waiting for the door to be opened. The lock soon clicked as it was opened you couldn’t help but gasp and turn beat red yet again.

“ it’s you again. Haven’t seen you since the day you came into my room and stole my shirt”. Your eyes widened as you remembered said day and said shirt. The shirt which you had decided not to bring and had been sleeping with for the past week.

“ I am so sorry! I’ll come give it back tomorrow if you’d like?” You quickly apologized to the strong brute, the blush on your face now settling. “ I completely forgot to bring it today. I was to distracted with Jinx’s present and the food. I’m so sorry I forgot. I should’ve-“

“ How the hell have you survived in The Undercity for this long being so… nice” she cut your babbling and excuses off. She then moved aside and let you in before locking the doors. “ The brat isn’t here she left to go look for something ”. You nodded without turning to look at her and started to look around. Jinx not being here gave you the best opportunity to hide your present from her. You didn’t want to give her the present this early since it would look and work better at night.

You could feel Sevika’s gaze on you and sure enough when you turned around you met a gray pair of eyes starring at you in what you thought to be confusion. You decided to break the silence, “ Do you know any good hiding spots for this?” You showed her the box. With her face going back to neutral, she began walking to to a door that was behind the stairs perfectly hidden from the rest of the bar. You quickly followed. Sevika opened it to reveal a storage room with a tall rack filled to the brim with old junk. The only spot left being the one you couldn’t reach, being at the very top. You looked around for a stool or a box, nothing. So you decided to just try and jump to reach it, but that didn’t work because only half the box made it and you weren’t tall enough to pushed all the way up.

Unbeknownst to you Sevika hadn’t left and had just watched you embarrass yourself, by trying and failing to reached the top rack. You nearly gave up giving a little jump to try and pushed the box further to no avail. Next thing you knew, you felt the warmth of a large hand hold your waist before reaching up and fixing the box so it wouldn’t fall. After that she stayed in the same position as you slowly turned to look up at her. The hand at your waist now on your lower back and the hand that had fixed the box, now next to trapping you between the racks and her body.

You shifted your gaze between her eyes and lips. How badly you wanted to kiss those dark brown lips and hug her tight so she wouldn’t let go. She could see the desperation in your eyes and she clearly wanted to kiss you too or so you thought, as she slowly leaned in kissing your cheek first then your neck gently bitting it clearly teasing you. “Sevika…” you wanted her to kiss you so putting your hand on her shoulders you pushed her back enough to try and capture her lips but before you could, a loud crash came from the kitchen hinting at a certain someone’s arrival.

“ Shit”, Sevika whispered against your lips looking you in the eyes “looks like I’ll get to taste that sweet mouth of yours next time I see ya” she whispered to your ear sending shivers throughout your body slowly standing straight and heading for the door “ maybe when you bring that shirt of mine you’ve been wearing princess” she finally said while leaving the room.

“Wait how did you know-” You covered your face as you finally understood what she had meant.

You quickly left the room fixing yourself so it didn’t look like you had almost made out with Sevika. You walked towards the kitchen hearing a few more thing fall before looking inside. Only to see your blue haired friend covered in flour head to toe. “ Wow…” You laughed getting s few plates of the ground before helping her get herself clean of the white flour all over her . Noticing that there weren’t anymore towels. You started heading toward the bathroom for a few towels you had seen before. On your way you saw Sevika talking to some other men before she caught sight of you too and smirked.

You quickly broke eye contact looking at the floor and walked faster completely flustered by the sight of her smirking. The memory of the things she had told you quickly coming to mind, “ next time…” you told yourself raising your hand to touch your lips. A smile forming.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

I did it ✨

[mari-the-bimbo]

Dorm mate! Gojo: Drunk confessions pt.2

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

A/N: I DID IT I FINALLY DID IT! Read it, my hoes!

Ideas:

The next morning, when you woke up with a painful headache, you tried to remember what led to this as you rubbed your head

Suddenly it hit you, you confessed to your dorm mate Gojo last night

oh god, this was bad.

You groan into your pillow in embarrassment. What made you think confessing to your ego maniac, god complex dorm mate was a good idea?

He was probably over it already, laughing with some new girl in his arms.

There’s no way you could show him your face now after this embarrassing encounter, and besides, confrontations with Gojo never went well.

The only solution? Avoid him like a plague

But you’d be stupid to think dorm mate Gojo didn’t realise,

A permanent scowl adorned Gojo’s face recently, when he’d wake up in the morning to find out from Geto you’ve left early for class

Or when you’d coincidentally find your friends in town and have lunch with them instead

Or when you’d fall asleep and lock your room door before Gojo would come home at night

Even dorm mate Geto was concerned now

He’d throw you a look of worry in the mornings, when he’d catch you hastily rushing breakfast to get out the dorm.

So he’d put a hand on your shoulder, asking you to slow down, then he makes you a hot chocolate while asking if everything is okay.

Don’t be fooled, Gojo already cried to him about the confession, he just wants to hear it from you

“I’m fine” you mutter, as you take a sip of his hot cocoa, thanking him with a side hug before heading out.

“You should talk to him Y/N” you hear Geto say before you close the door.

‘No way am I going to talk to Gojo and embarrass myself even more’ you thought to yourself

Luckily things went according to plan that day,

Not so much in the night.

When you came back around 7pm, after spending most of day at Shoko’s dorm, you finally relaxed your shoulders. Geto went out with a friend tonight, and Gojo never came back before midnight anyways.

You felt your stomach grumble, so you made yourself some cereal, but as you poured some milk into the bowl, you felt a looming presence behind you

You didn’t dare to turn around

“You’ve been avoiding me”

You didn’t need to turn around to recognise who the dominant voice belonged to. You knew it was Gojo.

Dorm mate! Gojo knew you’d be home at 7pm, assuming that he’d be out till midnight. In fact, he had been doing it on purpose, to trick you into believing that you’d be alone. He was the predator, you were the prey that fell into his trap.

You should’ve known Gojo always get his way.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you” he demanded, you could feel him coming closer, and closer, until you could almost hear his steady breathing by your ear.

“What?” You ask

“Why are you avoiding me?” He says, more agitated this time, grabbing your elbow to make you face him.

“I’m not! I’m ju-“

“You’re adapting your schedule that conveniently avoids mine just for fun?” He mocks, grabbing your chin roughly to look up to his 6’3 figure, his anger seeping through.

“It’s.. embarrassing” you mutter, looking away from him even though your jaw was still in his grasp

He finally lets go “why? Why is it embarrassing?” he asks.

“Because I’ve become just like one of your side pieces girls, that end up catching feelings for you just to get screwed over in the end” you mutter.

He pauses for a second, trying to take in what you said.

“You think I’m going to screw you over in the end? You think I’d do that to you?” He says quietly, did you think so low of him?

“I- I guess I don’t wanna be one of your goj-hoes! Get it?” You said trying to lighten up the mood, once you realised it hurt his feelings. It was getting too awkward to handle, you could almost hear his heart shattering.

He smiled sadly, no longer looking at you, but staring at the ground. He couldn’t express it in words.

You really didn’t understand how in love he is with you huh?

“You know.. I meant it when I said I’d stop talking to other girls for you, even if you don’t want a relationship with me” he says.

“I do. But you’re not ready for a relationship Gojo..”

“I know” he says.

A moment’s silence took over the dorm kitchen before Gojo spoke up again, cautiously taking your hand into his.

“But… when I am ready, will you be my girlfriend?” he says, finally looking up at you, taking off his glasses so you could see the hope and honesty in his eyes.

You pause for a second, “Of course” you then say with a smile, kissing his knuckles.

He smiles back widely, returning to his old self as he pulls you into a hug.

“I promise I’ll do better for you, I’ll change my ways” he says, placing a kiss on your cheek, that was smushed into his chest.

“Thank you” you mumble into his chest.

You two stay like that for a while, allowing Gojo to relish your touch that he had been starved of the last few days. He didn’t realise how much your touch meant to him until it was gone.

“Hey can I sleep in your room tonight?” Gojo asks, finally pulling away “I feel sad and clingy” he adds, giving you puppy eyes.

“Fine” you say, rolling your eyes, unable to fight off your smile, “but no slapping my butt!” You order.

“Okay” he lies, immediately slapping your butt, then running away to your room while evilly laughing when you start chasing him.

He only wants you

Dorm mate Gojo just needs time <3

[sugalaritae]

starstruck pt. 6 (myg, kth)

Summary: You wish the bubble you and Taehyung built around yourself on your date could continue, but as the sun rises in the sky reality sets in for you.

pairing: Kim Taehyung x plus-sized f. reader, Min Yoongi x plus-sized f. reader

genre(s): angst with the tiniest bit of fluff (smut in later chapters)

au: non!idol, university!au

word count: 4339

trigger warnings: anxiety, depression, internalized fatphobia, insecurities, alcohol abuse, substance abuse, nerves, lots of overthinking

rating: 18+

author's note: This chapter has been on my mind since the very beginning because of how heavy it is and I had to make sure that I was taking care of myself before I wrote this, as it is a deeply personal chapter. If you are struggling with your own mental health or are struggling with addiction you are not alone even though your brain makes it feel that way sometimes. Please reach out to someone you trust or a hotline as they are great resources to help. You are important and you are worthy of all the love in the world. Thank you to @introlxv made this amazing banner and thank you to them! And a wonderful thank you to @miscelunaaa for reading this, making corrections, and screaming at me about things!

taglist: @yoongiversal @moonchild1

© sugalaritae, 2022. you do not have any permission to repost or translate my work even if you give credit. all of this is mine.

YOONGI

"Hey...it's me," he clears his throat.

"I know it's been a few days since we've spoken and that today was your date... I hope that went well... I... I... uh... I was just wondering if you'd come over tomorrow night," another throat clearing.

"There's something that I'd like to talk to you about and I think it should be in person."

A pause.

"Ok. Text me."

Another pause, longer this time. His voice lowers.

"I miss you."

YOU

You wake with Taehyung’s arm and leg draped over you. His breath tickles the back of your neck and you close your eyes again, smiling to yourself. It’s a soft moment filled with so much promise. You don’t remember when you fell asleep, but as your brain slowly wakes you begin to remember bits and pieces of the night before.

You think about the last time that you woke up in a man’s arms.

Yoongi had slept holding you after your kiss. You had woken up and thought about waking him with kisses up and down the arms that held you tight to his body, but then he had rolled over, leaving you feeling empty and cold. He made the decision for you.

You had hoped, foolishly, that when Yoongi finally wokeup, he would text you and ask where you were. That he would tell you that he liked having you in his bed and that he had been hoping to kiss you good morning.

But no such text had happened; instead what followed had made you feel even more empty, lonely, and cold than the small action of rolling over had.

You thought about doing the same with Taehyung. Leaving him with a note telling him that you had a good time last night and that you wanted to do it again, but he had other ideas. Instead of rolling over, he pulls you to him with a moan as his hand searches for yours and quietly laces your fingers together.

You feel his breath against your neck as another small moan slips out of him and against your skin.

“G’morning,” he mumbles and then slowly, his leg falls off of you as his arms stay put.

It surprises you how much you enjoyed having him draped over you. How you enjoyed being that close to him and for him to be that comfortable with you. You don’t want to think about how scary that is and how certain people you know would tell you that being comfortable so quickly is a red flag. They were wrong though. They had to be wrong, right? Or was that another red flag as well?

“Morning,” you greet him back.

A thought takes you and suddenly you feel trapped.

You never think you look good in the morning. You don’t know why you agreed to stay over. No, you asked to stay over. You’re a fool. You definitely do not feel sexy even though you want to. Even though your whole body loves being pressed up against him. Loves the way that his arms feel wrapped around you, his fingers laced in yours. It’s only your brain worrying: the stupid anxiety that popped up when you were a teenager and wove itself around the already blooming fatphobic standards of society persists, even like this.

“Can I make you coffee?” he asks in almost a whisper, his breath warm against your neck. You feel him move a little behind you, his hair tickling your ear lightly before he presses a kiss on your neck.

You’re silent, lost in your head, waves of insecurities overwhelming you, despite your body wanting to just marvel in the feel of his lips and fingers again. The last time that you stayed in a romantic partner’s bed was Jimin, and to quiet those voices you initiated sex; it wasn’t really what you wanted to do but he wanted you and that desire made you feel warm and wanted. You could still remember the feeling of disappointment and regret as you watched him leave the room, leaving you all alone in his bed.

Perhaps that was why you hadn’t stayed with Yoongi to see him wake.

“Are you okay?” his voice is deep now.

“What?”

“Are you okay? You’re quiet and tense,” he comments and you release a breath that you weren’t aware that you were holding.

He moves, pushing himself up onto his hand and releases yours.

“Seriously, are you okay? I’m sorry if I did something last night that you weren’t comfortable with,” he starts and you hate the fact that your throat feels tight. You haven’t rolled onto your back to look at him properly, frozen with insecurity that you’re not going to be as beautiful now that your makeup is a day old, your mascara probably smeared.

“I’m fine,” you lie, but you know that he’s going to catch you.

He’s quiet for a moment and then he slowly pulls you onto your back. You close your eyes as he looks down at you.

“Hey,” he whispers, his thumb drawing soft lines onto your shoulder. “If you regret doing what we did last night, we can take it slower. I–”

You shake your head, cutting him off.

“It’s not that. I don’t regret anything that we did,” you pause and take a deep breath, opening your eyes to look at him. He looks beautiful even with sleep holding on under his eyes and across his lips. “I don’t really feel…” you have to tell him. “I don’t like the way I look in the mornings,” you finally say, your gaze drifting past him onto the opposite wall.

He’s quiet for a moment and you think that maybe he agrees with you, but then you see his hand move, and he brings his thumb to your cheek, wiping under your eye.

“I think you’re more beautiful than yesterday,” he says as he smiles down at you and you finally look at him.

He nods and then slowly he leans down, and you know he’s going to kiss you.

“I have morning breath,” you whisper, conscious of the fact that he’s now very close to you.

He makes a disgusted face and pulls back, “Oh! Well then,” and shakes his head before he laughs and leans down. “I don’t care,” he whispers before he kisses you softly. It doesn’t progress past a beautifully chaste kiss, but it still has your heart beating wildly in your chest, echoing through your body and filling your ears.

“Let me make you coffee,” he says against your lips, and you agree as he shifts off the bed, leaving you in it.

He stretches as you sit up and wipe at your face. You hear his neck crack and he releases a sigh.

_______

You leave his apartment with another kiss which tastes of coffee and a slightly stale pastry that he had brought home from the cafe. You missed Jungkook again, which you think Tae was a little happy about, but he tells you that he hopes the two of you will get to know each other. He also tells you that he’ll text you, just before he closes the door.

You walk down the hallway to the elevator. It’s then that you remember you had seen Yoongi texting, so you dig your phone out of your coat pocket to find that there isn’t a text, but a voice message instead.

You [11:24]: Hey, I just listened to your message. Can I come over in a few hours?

Your day is mixed with nerves about seeing Yoongi; you’re anxious about what he’s going to talk to you about, so you float through your morning with no response. Him on your mind, the worry that he’s going to tell you what you are afraid you want to hear from him. You don’t really expect him to text you back, you know that he likes to sleep in. He had said to come over in the evening, and still you know you won’t be able to relax until he responds.

Your phone buzzes in the grocery store, somewhere between the aisle that has strawberries packed into plastic boxes and where they keep the bags of tangerines.

Taehyung [13:03]: omg I am so sorry I haven’t texted. I was on this date with this incredible woman and the time just got away on me.

Had he meant to text you? Was that intended for someone else? You decide to test it out.

You [13:04]: Incredible?

Taehyung [13:04]: Incredible. Has a smile that really makes me weak in the knees.

You [13:05]: You might want to get that checked out. Just a smile? You might just have weak knees

Taehyung [13:05]: Nah. She’s just very talented

You couldn’t quite get rid of the feeling that something about him was too good to be true. You weren’t used to this kind of praise, and you didn’t know if you believed him or if he even believed himself.

Yoongi [13:05]: Hey! Can you come over in a few hours? I just woke up

Your heart races as you read his text. It feels like whiplash going from Taehyung praising you–no, you couldn’t think of it like that–complimenting you to Yoongi’s ask. He was going to talk about the kiss and you know what you want to hear from him. You want to hear that it wasn’t a mistake. That he wanted to keep kissing you. It hurts to know that and to think of Tae, his face so soft and so happy as he looked down at you in his bed that morning.

You put your phone away, feeling slightly overwhelmed, a basket full of snacks and a few much needed staples in your hand. You need to concentrate on grocery shopping and the few errands that you need to do before you could pay attention to the men in your life.

YOONGI

He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back against his head and sighing as it falls back against his forehead. He stares at the phone in his hand.

You [11:24]: Hey, I just listened to your message. Can I come over in a few hours?

You just listened to his message.

He needs to put the phone down. He is torturing himself. He is making himself feel worse with the possibilities flying through his head. In the years that he’s known you, you have always been prompt with responding. You are not a fan of leaving people on read, or having notifications just sit there on your phone screen, taunting you like a list of to-dos.

He stares at the message. If you were just listening to it, that means two things: you were either too angry at him to listen to it when he had sent it, or you stayed the night at the kid’s place and were too busy to listen to it. He could be okay with the first; that meant that you gave yourself time to calm down and be in the right headspace; he respected that about you and how you could take that time. He did the same, or tried to. Most of the time he just fell into himself and didn’t let anyone in but calm would be achieved.

The other reason was taunting him. The kid was handsome, more so than himself, and you had given no signs that you were really that interested in him aside from the text asking if you should cancel your date. But that could have just been because you were unsure and you needed your friend.

Maybe he had messed everything up.

Maybe he shouldn’t invite you over.

Maybe everything would be better if he just swept it under the rug and let your friends just be.

A knock on his door slapped him back to reality and he sighed, “yeah”

“I’m going to go grocery shopping, you want in?” Jin asks as soon as the door is open.

He needs to get out of the house, he just isn’t sure if he has the energy to leave his bed. His mind is racing along a path that it hasn’t been on for quite some time. It isn’t a pleasant path, and he has been happy without seeing the scenery that has plagued his mind for years.

“Ya, I’ll come. Give me ten?” he says, voice rough.

Jin nods and closes the door.

He picks up the phone again and types out a message quickly, not wanting to ask the questions that are now racing through his mind faster than they should have been, given that he has no coffee in him.

Yoongi [13:05]: Hey! Can you come over in a few hours? I just woke up

Hey! Possibly too enthusiastic. Overkill to make it seem like he wasn’t taking steps further and further into anxiety.

His body feels heavy as he moves from his bed and walks over to his closet.

He needs to call his therapist. It has been too long since he last saw her, and he can feel the same tingle and pull that he always feels before he begins to spiral. He makes a mental list of things he needs to do for his mental health, before you come over later, while simultaneously making a list of the groceries that he knows the house needs. One of them is going to get forgotten.

“Y/N is going to come over later, do you think you could be out of the house for a bit?” he asks Jin as he gets into the driver’s seat of his car.

“Everything okay?” Jin asks.

Yoongi shrugs and starts the car.

It takes two blocks before he can say the thing out loud. He knows he needs to say it out loud at least once before he says it to you. Jin is the perfect person to listen, though he has a feeling that he may have told Hobi the night before.

“I think I’m in love with her,” he says, eyes on the road not daring to look at his friend.

Jin nods. “Are you going to tell her?”

He clenches his jaw at the thought. Sobriety is making this all feel like too much. His thoughts feel like they are flowing too easily. They shouldn’t be able to infiltrate all the little spaces.

“It might be good to tell her,” the older man says.

“Yeah.”

“Seriously, it will be good because you’ve had this will-they won’t-they thing going on for a few months now, and it is something else to be around.” Jin smiles to himself and Yoongi shakes his head at the teasing, a small flat smile playing on his face.

The store feels crowded. Too many people walking by him, too many conversations to overhear.

The day has gone too fast and too slow all at the same time. It isn’t a surprise given how he knows his mind works. After nearly thirty years of living in his head, he has it all mapped out.He knows what book to pull from the shelf so he can see all the other books topple, knows which ones to support and give attention to.

He feels like he has pulled the wrong book and all of the shelves are toppling over like dominoes. Yet, he moves around the world like he knows he needs to do. Tomorrow he will schedule an appointment with his therapist.

YOU

Your hand freezes at the doorbell.

Your heart is beating unnaturally fast and you pull your pants up; you should have worn a belt. You checked your appearance four times before you left the house. You don’t know how many times you checked your eye makeup in the rearview mirror, but you’re certain you checked it at every red light between your house and Yoongi’s.

Taking a deep breath, you press the button and wait. You can’t remember the last time that you rang the doorbell; normally, you would’ve just walked right into his house and announced yourself, but this time, it feels like you should. A week apart and everything feels new, like you’re walking on the worst terrain imaginable.

He opens the door. It’s a quick moment before he realizes it’s you, and not someone else.

“Oh, hey, why did you ring the bell?” he asks, his brow pinched.

You shrug. “I don’t know. Felt like I should have, given the last week,” you say back and he nods. His face seems to relax, but you’ve seen that look before, and there is a tinge of hurt behind it.

You step into the house and close the door as he starts down the hallway, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. You watch him as you toe off your shoes. You’ve missed him. Even just watching his back lets something ignite in you that had gone dark in the last week. You want to hug him, feel him against you again and smell his cologne.

“Can I get you anything?” he asks as he stops a few feet away and turns to look at you. His eyes are locked on you, and you see it more now: he’s sad. There’s something going on and worry begins to build within you.

You should ask for a drink, water, a beer, something, but instead, you say, “A hug.”

He pauses, fully prepared to get you something to drink, but you watch as the smallest of smiles slips across his face. He takes a few steps toward you, meeting you in the middle of the hallway and you wrap your arms around his waist.

Yes. You missed him.

Your body relaxes, all tension slipping out of you as you breathe in his scent. Your eyes close and you can feel him slip into the same state.

You hold each other for a few moments, your breathing syncs, and your whole body screams to stay here with him, to stay in his arms and forget the entire world.

It’s a wonderful state to be in. Everything from the past two weeks falls away and it’s just you and Yoongi again. The way that it should be. Thoughts pass like speeding cars. You think about how he kissed you. Confessed that he was jealous. How it felt to sleep in his arms and how he has always been there. How you have always been there for him happily and willingly.

A thought screeches to a halt and blares its horn at you, reminding you that you are here for a purpose. He wants to talk to you about something; and as he slowly releases his arms from around you, the thought and its accompanying fleet of feelings barrel toward you at an alarming rate.

“Do you want a drink?” he asks.

You sigh as you hear yourself say, “No. What did you want to talk about?”

He stops on his way to the kitchen and turns around to look at you. “Already?”

“Yoongi, if you make me wait, I’m going to run a million different scenarios in my head and I don't want to do that. It isn’t fair to me,” you say, proud of yourself for saying it, because you’re going to be a mess if you don’t hear what he wants to say to you. You know you are.

“Yeah, uh, okay,” he mumbles his words of agreement as if he’s not quite certain on what to say..

He’s quiet for a moment before he rubs a hand through his hair and then over the fronts of his jeans. He’s nervous, these are actions he does when he’s nervous. You try to regulate your heart rate as it threatens to speed and catch up to his nerves.

“Yoongi, it’s okay, whatever it is will be–” you start, but he cuts you off.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he says as he looks up from the floor and right at you. In the distance, you can see the tidal wave that threatens to sweep you both up off your feet and away together, but you’re not sure it will take you to the same place.

“You think,” you say the two words that you know he added just because he’s nervous, and yet your brain hung onto them until they slipped down and rested on your tongue, only to be spoken between the two of you.

The wave gets closer.

He shakes his head and sighs, “No. I mean, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it meant when I got jealous and how, uh, perfect it was, to, uh–” He stumbles over his words as his nervous energy takes over the room.

You stand still. You know that you should say something, do something. Your body wants to hug him again; hold him until he’s calmed down, but there is something holding you back. A cord you have never noticed before tugs at your gut, led by a part of you that remains a mystery. You are about to fight against the tension of the cord when he speaks.

“I need a drink.”

Your mouth falls open as you watch him walk into the kitchen. You slowly move to stand behind the stool you sat in a week earlier watching him and Jin cook. You miss that night. You miss the normalcy of it.

You watch as he grabs a glass and his nearly empty bottle of whiskey. He pours himself a large amount and takes a sip, releasing a small groan that you know now smells of the booze he’s drunk and not like him. Or, perhaps he always smells of booze or some sort of substance. Your body tenses as he takes another sip and then another before finally releasing a sigh of contentment.

“You always need a drink when you’re going to talk to me, do you know that?” you ask even though the realization has just hit you.

“What?” he asks as he looks up from his glass.

The cord that is wrapped around your heart and leading to him tugs in his direction while the cord around your gut pulls you in the direction of the door.

You sigh. Tears are already stinging your eyes and your throat feels raw and tense, like you’ve swallowed a sour candy.

“Every time you want to tell me something or let me in, you have to have a drink.” You don’t want to cry. Crying always feels like you’re taking away from your point, like the person you’re talking to is going to concentrate on that, and not on the words that you are saying. You try your hardest not to cry, despite the tears being just there.

“That can’t be true,” he argues as he puts his glass down. There is still a bar and a stool between the two of you, and the distance feels immeasurable and necessary. If he gets closer you’re going to crumble, and you need to maintain the thoughts that are now showing themselves. It’s as if you have binders of examples that you’ve written down throughout the years of your friendship, some part of you waiting for the day when you are ready to see all of his red flags as they are.

“It is,” you say with a nod. “It’s like you can’t open up to me while I open up to you all the time.” The sentence turns a page and there it is the realization that breaks your heart. “You know more about me than I know about you,” you say and there it is, the wave crashing over the both of you. The crash breaks both of your hearts at the same time.

You watch through teary eyes as his face falls. His lips part at the same time as his shoulders drop.

“What do you love about me, Yoongi?” you ask as you wipe away a falling tear. Fucking tears! “And I mean what is it that makes you think you’re in love with me? Is it because I’m there for you and encourage you? Or is it because you see me?”

“Trin,” he starts, leaving your nickname hanging in the air before he moves around the bar and reaches out to take your hand.

“I’m serious. What do you love about me?” You don’t look at him as you speak. Instead you look at your hands wrapped in each other. His fingers are holding yours tightly; the ring you bought him feels cold against your skin.

His silence feels like a stab. Or perhaps it’s a knife working away at the cord around your heart.

You want to leave.

You nod as the silence continues.

“Get back to me when you know the reason but until then I can’t see you.” You shake your head, “Actually, I can’t see you until you’re able to be vulnerable with me while sober. Because I deserve someone who is able to be vulnerable with me in every relationship in my life.”

Tears are spilling down your cheeks and you slowly slip your hand out of his and wipe at your cheeks. There is pride mixed in with your tears. Proud of yourself for telling him what you know you deserve, pride that you’ve recognized it; and yet the pride stings with each tear that burns your eyes.

“Y/N,” your name falls from his lips, and you want to fall into his arms.

Instead, you shake your head.

“I have to go,” you say and turn your back to him.

He doesn’t walk after you.

He doesn’t move and you hate how a large part of you wants him to. Wants the dramatics that accompany such an act. This isn’t a movie though, this is real life and it hurts even more.

Taehyung [19:23]: Thinking of you.

Taehyung [19:23]: I don’t care if that’s too forward. You’re on my mind today.

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[yandere-sins]

Hiii, it's my first time here !! I wonder if you could ask my question, if possible of course of Yandere Geralt of Rivia...

Imagine a scenario where the reader is from our world and went to Geralt's world, then the reader find him at him and tells his story and asks for help to return to his home... Of course, as time goes by, Geralt becomes "sick with love " for the reader to the point of becoming Yandere.

Note: the reader sees Geralt as best friend or older brother.

Thanks for your request ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

You were simply relieved you weren’t alone. 

There were a lot of terrible things that could happen to you, reaching from being mauled by a monster to cut down by a sword, and so, so many gruesome things more. Whatever Geralt saw in you, you were glad it didn’t make him leave you alone to your misery, no matter how strange you were.

Truthfully, you weren’t even a good choice as a squire, but aside from grumbling about your unhelpfulness when it came to battle, Geralt hadn’t driven you away. Despite being rough around the edges, he truly was the hero you needed in your predicament, and for that, you were thankful. 

Whatever you could do, you did, may it be fetching water or helping set up a tent. While the life of a traveling witcher was nothing you wished to pursue forever, you put up with everything you could so that you wouldn’t end up on your own again. The first week spent stumbling through the wild and running from monsters had been enough bad experience in this world for you. Now, your mind was only on one thing: Getting home.

It probably was a luxury to have Geralt’s help in not dying and achieving your goal, but all the more, you were relieved that whatever power made you fall into this strange world had enough mercy to send you this angel of a man. No matter how many dirty, uncomfortable looks you got for being with him whenever you two came into a town, you would endure them, knowing Geralt was the key to make this situation just a memory and send you back home to your family.

Home. It sounded heavenly. 

You sighed deeply, slowly awaking from your slumber. It couldn’t have been long that you fell asleep, the campfire still burning lively next to you. You still felt tired, but something was different than usual. Heavy even.

Pulling down the blanket you had wrapped yourself with, you saw the big arm laying around you, making you realized the heat of a second body in your back. Geralt never slept closer than necessary to you, but without the need to guess, he was definitely sleeping right beside you, spooning you from behind. 

With a flushing heat rising to your face, you were too embarrassed to say anything, even though his arm alone was too heavy to fall asleep with again. He might have accidentally fallen asleep next to you after having some drinks before bed and mistaken you for someone to cuddle up to. But waking him wasn’t an option. Geralt struggled with his sleep enough as it is; you wouldn’t dare to interrupt him and cause a scene. But the reality was very different from what you assumed. 

You heard him take a deep breath as he buried his face into the nape of your neck, not shy to pull away the fabric covering you and pushing his face into your skin. As you listened to him mutter your name, you felt a cold shudder run down your spine, but you tried not to make him notice you were awake. “[Name], [Name], [Name]...” he mumbled, and you bit your lip. The way he said your name always made it sound reproachful, despite you not remembering what you did wrong that day. 

“Look at you, letting your guard down. Don’t you know that I...”

His voice trailed off as you felt him shift suddenly. You reacted quickly, pretending to be fast asleep with your eyes closed and lips slightly parted innocently. Geralt let out a small chuckle before you felt him reach over you, dragging his thumb over your lip. “What are you dreaming about? Your heart is racing.”

Realizing you forgot the first thing about Witcher - their heightened senses - you didn’t know how to help yourself other than stirring a little in your sleep, putting on a frown. Sure enough, that made him halt in his tracks and back away a little, as if he feared you waking up. Only when you settled down again did Geralt relax as well, returning to his spooning position. 

“Seriously...” he kept muttering. “How am I supposed to go on like this? Every time we meet a Sorceress, I am afraid she will have a way to send you home.”

Something about his words gave you a sad impression. Almost as if parting would hurt him, but you weren’t sure if this was just your impression or if the tiny bit of his past that he told you about actually gave him this fear. In your eyes, Geralt was fearless and kept his composure no matter what, but what if you had misjudged him?

“I’d like to keep you all to myself. Lock you up and never let you go. Maybe when we get to Kaer Morhen, I could--”

This time, his voice halted suddenly, and he rose again from behind you. “Are you awake?” he asked, quiet still as if he was hoping you were asleep after all. You simply remained in your pretend sleep, taking an audible breather and hoping it would fool him. He remained in this careful stiffness for a while before he finally drew back. Immediately, you were surrounded by the chilly air of the night as his body disappeared, but before you dared to attempt to move around, you heard more of his mumbles.

“No, I can’t. I shouldn’t... It’s not right...”

What couldn’t he do?

You were ready to blame all the gibberish you had just heard on the mead you two had before bed, but the questions didn’t seem to stop circling your mind. Geralt seemed to fall asleep somewhere a bit further away, while you felt wide awake now. You couldn’t believe that Geralt - of all people! - could have developed any kind of feelings for you. But why else would he be worried about your return? Why would he say those things about locking you up?

Way too freaked out, you tried to make sense of what you had witnessed. Certainly, he didn’t want you to be awake as it went down, but now that you knew, you were left conflicted. Part of you kept getting goosebumps as you remembered the feeling of his face pressed into your shoulder and his words echoing in your ear. The other part tried to justify it with any and all reasons like the alcohol, loneliness maybe. There was no sleep for you after all, and Geralt kept stealing irritated glances at you the following day until he finally asked, “Are you okay?” 

You flinched after being suddenly addressed, not even your exhaustion able to tear you out of your thoughts that still pondered about the last night. “Oh, yeah! I’m fine,” you tried to assure him, and he contemplated your response for a bit before replying, “There’s this place we should go to next. Maybe we can find some books on portals there.”

“Sounds good,” you chuckled. Nervosity spread inside of you as you hoped he didn’t mean the place that he was talking about last night. 

“I grew up there. You might even be able to sleep in a bed for a change. Kaer Morhen is also safe and...”

After that part, your mind simply shut off as the word kept repeating over and over in your head. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen.

Kaer Morhen, lock up, never let go.

“...and it isn’t far from here,” he finished his explanation, looking at you as he waited for an answer while you could feel the horror showing in your expression. The red flags were so abundantly clear by now, but you absolutely refused to think this way about him. He wasn’t a bad man, he would never... or?

There were a lot of terrible things that could have happened to you on this journey, but you had put all your trust into Geralt to keep you safe. To help you. To be a companion so you wouldn’t be lonely. And until the end, you hoped Geralt wouldn’t turn out to be the monster or the sword you feared so much.

But who could tell what he’d do when he finally had a taste of living out the things he desired?

[literallymitch]

𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 || 𝐃.𝐃

requested: no

summary: the first part of the reputation series in which the reader first meets Damiano

pairing: Damiano David x famous!reader

word count: 2k

what kind of content: fluff

warnings: drinking

passages written in cursive are flashbacks

some of the lyrics were changed so they would fit the story

Please don’t steal any of my conten and release it elsewhere. Also all of this is fiction. I don’t know these people in real life nor do I know how they act

a/n I I hope you all enjoy this one, as much as I do. I’m so excited about this series jdhidcuheu. What song do you guys think is next? As always please keep in mind english is not my first language. I’m super happy about feedback!!

With a buzzing head I woke up. I shouldn’t have drank so much yesterday. Feeling the after effects of the alcohol I consumed yesterday, I looked at the sleeping figure next to me. A gorgeous man with brown hair and tattoos that fitted him perfectly. I smiled to myself, knowing he was the reason I probably drank a little too much yesterday. There was no way I would have found the courage to actually talk to him otherwise. He looked like an angel sleeping so peacefully in my queen-sized bed. As I looked at his sleeping figure, an idea popped into my head. I grabbed my notebook and went to my balcony that was connected to my bedroom. Looking at him one last time through the huge window in front of me. I opened my notebook and started writing down some lyrics in memory of last night.

You should take it as a compliment That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk You should think about the consequence Of your magnetic field being a little too strong

“We wanted to start working on our next album soon too.” , the gorgeous man in front of me said with an Italian accent.

After a few drinks I was finally talking to him. I was too busy taking in his beauty that I didn’t really listen  to what he just said to me. All of a sudden, I started giggling.

“You know, your accent is so funny, I love it. Like the way you pronounce some words? Hilarious”.

“Thanks, I guess?”

I cringed a little thinking about this specific moment. If he knew the only reason I was making a fool out of myself in front of him was his magnificent appearance, he would take it as a compliment. He probably already knew that was the reason. How could he not know? It’s not like he has never looked in a mirror. Also, there is no way, I am the first person that had to suffer from his magnetic self. By now he should know what his whole existence is doing to people.

And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us He's in the club doing, I don't know what You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be here as well?” the beautiful Italian boy asked.

“My wha- Oh you mean Andre? He isn’t my boyfriend. The media just made that up after we went out once, and I was caught at two of his games. We haven't talked in months. He’s probably at some club right now, annoying some poor girl.”

At that moment I thought I’ve seen a small smile appear on his face. He then just turned to the bar tender, ordering another beer. God, how could he just keep his cool like this the whole night. Usually it was the other way around. People would stand drunk in front of me trying to make a move, while I just stood there unimpressed. He really made me feel like an insecure fourteen-year-old girl again, and I hated him for that

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine You've ruined my life, by not being mine

“The sunset is really beautiful today” Damiano stated sipping on his glass of Whisky. I nodded in agreement while I ate a grape from the vine that was placed on the bar counter.

The bar were at was on top of a small mountain somewhere outside Rome. From there we had a great view over the whole city of Rome and how the sun met the city's skyline. It really was beautiful, still it was nothing compared to him. I wish he would’ve been mine, so I could’ve rested my head on his shoulder right there and then, but he wasn’t.

You should take it as a compliment That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)

“I’m glad we’re finally getting a chance to talk after you talked to, well, everyone else at this bar except me.”, the handsome man called me out while he sat down next to me.”

Feeling a bit caught, I just gave him an awkward smile. I tried to come up  with a reasonable excuse, that was less embarrassing than ‘Yeah sorry about that, I was just too scared to talk to you because you look like you’re straight out of my dreams.’

“I’m really sorry about that! It was just that every time I was done talking to someone, the next person already stood behind me wanting to talk.” I lied.

“It’s alright. I guess that's what happens when you’re a world-famous singer.”

And you should think about the consequence Of you touching my hand in the darkened room

It was now 11pm and the sky outside was completely dark. The lights in the bar were also dimmed a bit, creating a cozy atmosphere. Damiano and I were in the middle of our conversation, as he accidentally grabbed my hand, that was resting on the bar counter, instead of his drink. It felt like an electric shock. An electric shock that woke up the butterflies inside my body. My hand started to tingle, and I’m pretty I was full on blushing now.

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her But if you're single that's honestly worse 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

“So do you have a girlfriend?”,  at this point I was so drunk I didn’t even care how this question came across anymore.

I was pretty sure he in fact had a girlfriend, I mean how could he not looking like this?

“No I don’t.” Thank god. “It’s kinda hard building up a real relationship with someone when you're always busy, but I guess you can tell me a thing or two about it too.”

Oh, yes, I could. Still I would drop everything I was doing right now,  just to be with him.

Chocolate brown eyes looking in mine I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Just as my confidence made a small comeback, I made the mistake to directly look into Damianos beautiful brown eyes. There really wasn’t a single thing about him that wasn’t extremely beautiful. I started to feel a bit dizzy as a wave of heat rushed through my body. What is this man doing to me?

Just thinking about it again made my heart beat three times faster.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

For like the million time this evening, he made a laugh. Great, so he wasn’t just incredibly handsome, but also extremely funny. I didn’t realize how happy I was in his presence until I remembered he wasn’t mine. Suddenly I felt kind of sad, thinking about how I maybe would never see him again after tonight. I just wanted to grab his hand and run away with him. Somewhere I could be alone with him. Somewhere he would be only mine.

Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats Alone, unless you wanna come along

I looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall behind the bar tender. I was shocked when I realized it was already midnight. There was no way we’ve been talking for like three hours now. I scanned the room for my friends, I went here with in the first place.

“Looking for someone specific?” Damiano asked, now also looking in the direction I was looking in.

“Just my friends, but it seems like they already went home. I’ll check if they texted me” I picked up my phone, checking if I had a message from my friends.

‘Hi babe, we already went home, we were kinda tired. Have fun talking to handsome stranger. You better tell us everything tomorrow ;)’

“Did they text you?”

“Yes, my friend texted me that they already went home. Guess I’ll have to go home alone then. At least my cats are waiting for me.” I stood up and tried to make my way over to the wardrobe to get my coat. Unfortunately I forgot how drunk I actually and almost tripped as I tried to walk. Alcohol and heels really are not a good combo. Thankfully Damiano grabbed my arm helping me to stabilize myself.

“You’re sure, you’ll make it home alone?”

“Yes, I am a big girl. Unless you wanna come along.” I said with a cheeky grin on my face.

Damiano left out a soft chuckle. He paid for our drinks and then accompanied me on my way back home.

“It’s already pretty late, if you want to, you can stay over.” I told him after he brought me up to my bedroom.

“That would be nice, thanks.”

After I got myself ready for bed, I basically fell into my cozy bed, cuddling myself up in my soft sheet.

“You mind telling me where your guestroom is before falling asleep?” the Italian boy asked with an amused look on his face.

“Mmh, I don’t know. Just sleep here, it's fine.” I answered him, already half asleep.

After that, I probably fell asleep, since I don’t remember anything else that happened.

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face (to your face) 'Cause look at your face

“Good morning.” I heard a raspy voice say.

I looked up from my notebook and came face to face with Damiano gorgeous figure. His hair was messy, and he still looked a bit sleepy. Since he just wore a pair of boxer shorts, I could finally see all the tattoos that covered his upper body. All of a sudden I felt the same way as I did last night when I saw him for the first time. The words were stuck in my throat and I felt the anxiety build up in my body. How does he manage to make me feel this way by just existing?

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” I somehow managed to say.

“Yes I did thank you. What are you doing?” he asked me curiously as he sat down on the garden chair next to me.

“I’m just writing a song. The idea came to mind when I woke up.”

“Not gonna lie, it’s pretty impressive that you’re able to write a song now after you could barely walk yesterday.” a small laugh left his mouth. “Can I see it?”

“No, it’s kinda awful. I’m to hungover to write something good now. I just wanted to write the idea down.” I lied,  I actually really liked the stuff I wrote so far, but he would probably think I’m a freak when he found out I wrote a song about after knowing him for a day.

“Can you at least tell me what it is about?”

“So you can steal my brilliant idea? No, thanks.” we both started laughing. “I can offer you breakfast though”

“I’m fine with that too” he said flashing me his beautiful smile

And I'm so furious At you for making me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous

We were now sitting on my roof garden eating breakfast. Damiano told me some things about his life and what interests he had. As he did, so I looked at him in awe. I really started crushing on him as he continued to talked about his last tour with a huge smile on his face. I hated it that I was practically on my knees for him already, but how could I not? He’s perfect.

“I could really get used to this, you know?” he said out of nowhere.

“Me too.” I responded, not really questioning what he meant.

I also didn’t care as long as it involved us spending time together. I would make him mine no matter what.

[babymetaldoll]

Stargazing (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: No, but I needed some hardcore fluff

Summary: The team is “forced” to go camping, and Spencer finally decides to make “his move” on Reader.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Zero

Word count: 3,2K

Masterlist

-

-

It was the first time the BAU didn't argue Strauss's decision. She had walked into the conference room and explained to the team that the FBI had decided each department had to do a workshop related to teamwork and trust.

- "You will spend this weekend camping together. You will be part of a Team-Building Training Workshop"- Strauss wasn't excited about the idea of her best team wasting a whole weekend. But she was glad her department didn't have to do the activity. She hated camping.

- "Are you telling me we have to spend our weekend in sleeping bags, singing kumbaya?"- Rossi raised an eyebrow and looked at Erin, and she didn't move a muscle- "I'm out."

- "David, I'm not asking you if you want to do it. The whole team has to be part of this activity, that includes you."

- "Come on, Rossi,"- Prentiss smiled and tried to cheer him up- "It will be a nice change from catching serial killers for a weekend.

- "Really, Emily?"- Rossi crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Reid- "Hey, kid. How many dead bodies are found each year in the woods in the country?"

- "Over 2.543 last year,"- Spencer answered. And didn't stop talking, of course- "We can not be sure they were all serial killer related cases. The most common ways to die in the woods are drowning, car accident, and suicide."

- "Suicide it is."- David whispered. He knew it was going to be a long weekend.

Even when he wasn't a person who loved camping and outdoor activities, Spencer was excited to spend the weekend with the team, especially with (Y/N). His teammate, best friend, and secret crush. Ok, it wasn't really a secret.

Of course, everybody knew about Spencer's feelings. He never successfully hid them from the team. You didn't need to be a profiler to notice each time (Y/N) walked into a room, Reid's eyes would follow her, and his cheeks blushed. When they sat together in the jet, Spencer would always be too self-aware of his own movements. He would try not to move, especially when she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. And when they were working on a case together, he would always cover her on the field, and he would make sure she was safe, even when the unsub was already caught.

He loved her. Even a blind man could see. Except for (Y/N), of course. Because according to her own words: "There's no way Spencer Reid is in love with me. He would never look at me that way. He is perfect, and I'm a mess. He deserves the perfect genius girl."

-

- "Ok, Romeo, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to make your move"- Derek and Reid were alone in the SUV on their way to the retreat.

- "Sure. Because there's no better time to make a fool out of myself than in front of all my friends in the middle of nowhere."

- "What's with the attitude, pretty Ricky? Relax"- Morgan frowned and put on some music, singing along for a moment. Reid looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

- "Ok man, picture this: you, your pretty lady, in the middle of the night, gazing at the stars together, alone in the middle of the forest. The full moon is the only light."

- "Who are you? since when are you a romance expert?"

- "Hey! I can be romantic!"

- "I've seen you get girls only by raising an eyebrow"- Reid argued, and he was right. It had happened once, but that was another completely different story.

- "What I'm trying to tell you is that you have the perfect chance to tell her how you feel during this trip"- Spencer was about to start debating that idea when Derek continued.

- "And stop saying she has no feeling for you!"

Reid bit his tongue and looked at the road. Neither of them said a word for the next couple of minutes. Until Spencer whispered

- "But she doesn't"

- "She does!!"- Derek nearly yelled

- "Why are you so sure?!"

- "Because she told Penelope she is in love with you!!"

The silence in the car was as intense as the red in Spencer's cheeks. Derek knew he shouldn't have said that, but he was tired of seeing his best friend's sad eyes each time he stared at (Y/N). Someone had to do something, and he knew neither of them would make the first move.

- "Are you sure?"- Reid's mouth was hanging open- "I mean, maybe she was joking."

- "No, she was honest. So please, this weekend, make your freaking move."

-

How could Spencer ever make his move? He had no idea. He didn't even have a "move"! But something inside of him felt a little more confident now.

That didn't show on the outside at all, 'cos during the whole day, he was more clumsy than ever. He dropped his coffee. He failed the first two attempts to set up his tent and nearly fell carrying logs for the fire.

He wanted to dig a hole and hid.

But (Y/N) didn't notice any of that. Not because she didn't pay attention, but because she was oblivious to any of those things. She just couldn't stop staring: He was wearing jeans. Spencer Walter Reid was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. (Y/N) thought she was going to have a heart attack when he got out of the car.

Sure, yes, she had seen him outside work in a more casual outfit, but nothing prepared her for Spencer's camping clothing. It suited him too well for his own good.

- "Hello? Anybody there?"- Prentiss waved at (Y/N). She and JJ stood in front of her, trying to catch her attention.

- "Jesus! you look like a schoolgirl today!"- JJ teased her, laughing- "Can you be more obvious?"

- "What are you talking about?"- (Y/N) tried to look all innocent and continued setting the logs for the campfire.

- "If Spencer wasn't so clueless about your feelings, I swear you two would be already married,"- Emily joked and helped (Y/N) with the logs. The young SSA just shook her head and tried to keep her eyes from Reid for as long as she could. She successfully did it for five minutes. That day's record.

- "(Y/N), hey"- he stood by her side, and she quickly stood up.

- "Hey, how are you doing?"

- "Good... you?"- she just nodded and smiled. She really was acting like a schoolgirl in front of Spencer- "Great... hey, I thought maybe tonight you would like to do some stargazing with me..."- Emily and JJ heard him and nearly squealed. They tried to look away, but it was impossible. They needed to know what was happening. Where was García? she was going to be so mad she missed that.

- "Yeah! I'm sure tonight we can see way more stars than on your building's roof like last time."

(Y/N) answered, smiling, thinking there was nothing more romantic than being underneath a starry sky, listening to Spencer talking about constellations.

- "Ok, kids,"- Rossi's voice stepping out of his huge camper interrupted them and forced everybody to turn around- "Let's do this trust thing we are forced to do before it's lunchtime. Maybe we can manage to go home early."

-

Of course, they weren't. The whole team had to work as a unit to fulfill a series of activities an expert team the FBI had hired forced them to do. Aaron thought it was unnecessary, considering they worked on the field together, and they trusted each other with their lives all the time. But he was also sure his team needed a break, and everybody could use some fresh air.

- "Great work, team"- Hotch hugged everybody and smiled when the whole activity was done- "I think we've earned a nice dinner."

- "Please don't tell me we have to hunt our food"- Penelope wide opened her eyes suddenly and looked at Hotch- "I can eat blueberries."

- "Don't worry, kids"- Rossi shook his head and pointed to his camper- "Anyone in the mood for a nice steak?"

- "I bought marshmallows for the campfire later,"- (Y/N) said and smiled- "You are never too old for some s'more."

- "Scary stories by the fire eating s'mores? I'm ten years old again"- JJ looked excited- "I need to do this with Henry."

- "Just don't tell him your "I'm scared of the woods because I found the camp director dead" story." - Derek said, smiling.

- "You freaked out!"- JJ chuckled, remembering how she had scared her friends a few years earlier while working on a case in the woods.

- "I need to hear that story!"- Emily said- "I bet it's no better than mine, I'm sure."

- "Battle of horror stories?"- (Y/N) smiled evilly- "You two have nothing on me."

-

The evening was fun and a little terrifying. Garcia was holding Derek's arm so tight it was starting to feel numb. Rossi and Hotch had told a couple of stories that left the team completely frightened, to be fair. Especially Spencer. He had forgotten an essential part of his plan: nights in the woods are dark as pitch. And he was afraid of the dark. How would he successfully take (Y/N) to a nice spot, sit down and stare at the stars with her if he was too scared to move from the fire?

(Y/N) looked at Reid and sighed. Maybe he had regretted it. Of course, he hasn't forgotten his invitation, 'cos Spencer remembered everything. Still, he hadn't made any move or sign to go stargazing. Being alone with him in the dark was scary but in the right way. Maybe she could finally tell him how she felt. No, no way. That wasn't going to happen.

- "Ok, so... it's late, and we are out of wine"- Rossi stood up and looked at the team- "I am ready to go to my comfy bed"- the rest of the team groaned. They were going to spend the night in a tent, probably freezing, while Rossi was going to be in his warm camper.

- "I'm going to sleep too, we have trekking in the morning, and it's going to be a long walk. I suggest you all go to bed early."- Hotch stood up and waved at the team, to then walk to his tent."

- "Sweet chocolate thunder, is there room in your tent for me?"- Penelope asked, and he chuckled immediately

- "Are you still scared of the stories? they are just made up things people create to terrify us."

- "I know. But I'm also scared of bears, psycho killers, and slender man"- Morgan looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't joking.

- "Bring your sleeping bag."

- "You are my hero. I love you."

Prentiss and JJ went to bed soon after, leaving the two love birds alone.

- "Stargazing?"- Reid whispered, and (Y/N) nodded- "We should find a darker stop... or we can stay here by the fire if you like."

- "Are we going to get a nice view here?"- (Y/N) looked at the stars and tried to see anything.

- "No, it has to be darker,"- Spencer whispered, taking a look around- "There was a nice spot by the cliff, that way."

- "I don't think walking to a cliff in the middle of the night is a good idea"- (Y/N) smiled, and Reid shook his head

- "You are right..."

- "But we can walk carefully and carry a flashlight,"- she added and smiled, looking at him. His brown curls moved with the wind, and his chocolate eyes were brighter than the sparks of fire next to them.

- "That sounds good."

Spencer stood still for a second. He had a blanket in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other. (Y/N) put on her scarf and jacket and stared at him.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah."

He wasn't. He was trying to calm himself down, thinking that walking in the middle of the dark was worthy because it meant spending time alone with (Y/N).

He kept telling himself he didn't have to worry because nothing was going to happen. He wished he had his gun with him in case of any danger, though. Maybe that could make him feel better.

- "You can't kill darkness, stupid"- he whispered to himself and sighed. (Y/N) walked a step closer and took the marshmallow bag. Then, she held his hand.

- "Let's go?"

That was all Spencer needed. He was ready.

- "Did you know astronomy is the oldest of the sciences?- Reid whispered as they walked hand in hand to a nice clear spot - "Ancient astronomers were able to differentiate between stars and planets, as stars remain relatively fixed over the centuries while planets will move an appreciable amount during a comparatively short time."

- "And when did you start learning about the stars?"- Spencer loved that. How each time he started rambling, she wouldn't get annoyed like the rest of the people he knew. Instead, she would always ask him something related to the subject. And it was usually something personal. She wanted to learn more about him and how he had ended up being such an amazing human being.

- "When I was four, mom started taking me regularly to the library. That was when I started to learn more about science. I could pick ten books each time we were there, and I decided I wanted to know everything I could about everything I loved."

Spencer confessed and smiled, looking at her. His heart was warm with their conversations. He was never comfortable talking about his personal life, especially about his childhood. But with (Y/N), it all came naturally.

- "How often did she take you?"

- "Every other day"- she chuckled and remembered the pictures Diana had shown her of Spencer when he was a little kid last time they visited her. He was adorable, with his glasses and his messy hair. It was impossible not to imagine having a family with him.

- "This is it... this is a good spot."- Spencer said and stopped walking. He moved a log and tapped on it, smiling at (Y/N). She sat with him, and he wrapped them together with the blanket.

- "So, what am I staring at?"- (Y/N) asked and kept her eyes on the starry sky. It seemed she had never seen so many stars. And they even looked closer. Spencer looked at her, and his heart skipped a beat. He was about to start a lecture on astronomy, but instead, he decided to do "his move." Or the move he could think of. He didn't really know if it was a move, but he was going to give it a shot anyway.

- "Most stargazers learn about constellations looking for different noticeable patterns across the sky"- he made a pause clearing his throat. That was it. He was going to do it.

- "That's how it all started,"- he continued- "Some of these noticeable patterns up there are still the same ones our ancestors noticed while sitting around a campfire telling stories like we did today."

- "Telling stories about the stars sounds a lot less creepy, though" - (Y/N) whispered, and the two of them smiled- "Wanna tell me a story about these stars?"

There was no way Spencer could say not to her puppy eyes.

- "Ok... let's see..."- Reid sighed and thought for a moment, looking at the constellations above them- "Do you see those stars over there that look like a cute bunny?"

- "Which ones?"- Spencer pointed at the sky, and (Y/N) nodded- "I see them"

- "Well, you'll see, there was a comet in love with the bunny, but it could only look at her from a safe distance."- Spencer finally confessed. (Y/N) held her breath for a second and tried not to get her hopes high.

- "Why?"

- "Well, the comet was afraid he wasn't good enough for the bunny"- Spencer was whispering, and his soft voice sent shivers to (Y/N)'s body- "So he stared at his favorite constellation every day and only imagined what it would feel like to hold her in his arms."

- "And the bunny never saw the comet?"- (Y/N) asked softly, while very, very slowly, she moved her hand and reached Spencer's.

- "The bunny thought the comet just wanted to be her friend because he was scared to tell her how he felt,"

(Y/N) kept thinking there was no way on earth Spencer was telling her how he felt about her with that adorable story. Was he? Really? 'cos it was too romantic, and if he wasn't and she was wrong... it would be heartbreaking. But, there was only one way to find out.

- "I think the bunny felt the same, but she thought she wasn't good enough for the comet"- Spencer's heart raced at those words, and he turned to look at (Y/N). She blushed and stared at him with a shy smile.

- "Why would the bunny ever think that?"

- "The comet is too brilliant and too amazing to settle for a simple constellation when he could have the sun."

(Y/N) was embarrassed to confess those feelings, but it was now or never.

- "But the bunny is the sun in the comet's life."- Spencer whispered and caressed her cheek with his thumb carefully.

- "Really?"- her voice was so soft, it melted Spencer completely. He couldn't answer. All he could do was to lean in slowly and kissed her as gently as he could, enjoying the sensation of her lips against his. He cupped her face with both hands and moved a little closer.

It was the sweetest kiss he had ever given. It wasn't just because (Y/N)'s lips tasted like marshmallow, but because it was filled with pure love. He could feel it, even when he still couldn't believe it. She loved him. She really did.

(Y/N) was sure that wasn't really happening. She had probably fallen down the cliff earlier and was now unconscious or dead, living a fantasy. There was no way Spencer Reid was kissing her.

When they slowly moved and looked at each other, neither of them knew what to say. So (Y/N) did what she always dreamed of doing and leaned in and kissed him again. Spencer didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around her waist, moving her closer to him. Her hands played shyly with some of the curls of his hair, and they simply kissed for what seemed to be forever, even when it wasn't enough time for them. Spencer felt he could kiss her his whole life, and he still wouldn't get enough of her.

- "So..."- (Y/N) whispered after some minutes and looked at Spencer, blushing- "Do you think the comet and the bunny could... maybe try to be more than friends?"

He smiled and kissed her again, rubbing her lips carefully with his; (Y/N) sighed into the kiss.

- "The comet is willing to do anything the bunny asks him because he just wants to make her happy all day, every day."

(Y/N) couldn't speak. She could only kiss him again and again.

- "Bunny just wants her comet to be happy too."

- "Then would Bunny be the comet's girlfriend?"- she giggled and nodded- "Good, because I don't think I could ever live without your kisses ever again, Bunny."

- "Neither do I, Comet"

And after that, stargazing was forgotten. There were enough stars in their kisses to keep the two of them lost in their own new universe. 

[digital-corruption]

I've been busy for the past few days so writing and editing has been slow. Please enjoy a longer chapter to make up for it.

Also I decided now to clearly state that Duskwood is in Germany... (while using the US parole system as headcannon cause I can't be bothered researching the German system...) This is why you shouldn't start fanfics before an episode release! 🤣 Maybe one day I'll feel motivated enough to fix up the inconsistencies throughout the series.

Unrecognisable Part 22

The sound of bird morning calls woke me up. Initially I thought I had left a window open as they were so loud. Then I saw my surroundings and remembered where I was. I was still lying on top of Jake in an old barn that had miraculously not fallen down on us through the night.

“Good morning,” Jake kissed my head.

I squinted at him, “Oh God, what time is it?”

He was doing something on his phone, but I couldn’t make it out. He swiped to check the time, “Almost 6.”

“Mmm, I can’t believe I actually fell asleep,” I nuzzled my face against him to block out the light. “You should’ve woken me up.”

“No, it was fine. You needed the rest,” he rubbed light circles on my head with his fingertips.

“What are you doing?” I tried to work out what was on his phone screen.

“Playing Candy Crush,” he answered nonchalantly.

“Wait, what? Seriously?” I lifted my head up. “You’re wasting your phone battery on Candy Crush?”

“Well, no, this is your phone,” he admitted.

“Hey! Give me that!” I grabbed the phone from his hands and sat up.

“I was bored!” he defended. “Bored and trapped!”

“You could have pushed me off and gotten up!” I shook my head as I closed the app.

“You were too cute,” he smirked.

“Here I thought you were doing something sensible like working out how the hell to get out of here and… shit! We’ve got like 10 hours to get to Colville!” I exclaimed.

“We only need four,” Jake assured. “And yes, I’ve already checked our location.”

“We still need to get out of here,” I looked around the barn, then back at Jake. “How are you feeling?”

He sighed and lifted himself to a sitting position slowly, wincing as he moved his limbs, “I’ll live.”

“That’s as reassuring as ever,” I rolled my eyes.

“And you?” he gestured to my lower back.

“Sore,” I touched it gingerly. “But I'll live.”

“Think you can ride the bike again?” he questioned.

“Hang on, it’s you we should be worried about!” I argued. “You really think you can get back on?”

“I have endured far worse,” he pointed out. “I'll go slower this time.”

“You most definitely will!” I glared at him.

He tried to keep a straight face, but started laughing, “You saw me kill seven people yesterday and yet you don’t hesitate to threaten me. It’s cute, endearing even.”

“I'm not scared of you,” I shrugged. “Especially in your current condition, I could out run you.”

“Maybe I let you believe you could out run me,” he smirked. “Who doesn’t love a good chase?”

“You can’t fool me,” I got up and stretched my back. “I know you’re in a lot of pain.”

“But I know how to shut out pain to get what I want,” he grinned devilishly.

I poked his shoulder and he yelped in pain, “Real scary, monster boy.”

Jake grabbed my wrist with a growl and yanked me down to the ground beside him. I hit the hay on my side, then was immediately forced onto my back. Jake pinned my limbs down with his before I could react. I tried to move my arms, but he held them down firmly.

“That hurt, you son of a bitch!” I yelled.

“Remember who you’re dealing with,” he hissed. “I got myself out of those mines, I can ride that fucking bike.”

“Give me the other Jake back,” I frowned.

“No, he’s weak,” his expression grew darker. “If it wasn't for me, he would’ve died in those mines.”

“We’re not in danger, give him back,” I insisted.

“Maybe I don’t want to,” he leant over and licked my cheek. “Maybe he doesn’t want to, either.”

“We don’t have time for this,” I struggled to remain calm. “Fine, you can handle the bike. Point proven.”

“Do you think anyone would hear you if you screamed right now?” he smiled sadistically. “There’s no one for miles! You could scream all you want and no one would hear you.”

“Are you done?” I raised my eyebrow. “We have to get to Colville, remember?”

“But look,” Jake gestured to the side with his head. “You'd look so beautiful tied to the wooden beam there. I could’ve done it while you slept, you know. You wouldn’t have even noticed.”

“What, do you want a cookie for being a good boy?” I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t think you understand how much I have to restrain myself with you,” he turned back to me. “You act so strong and brave, but you're oh so vulnerable. It’d be a pity if I were to abuse that.”

“Stop,” I bit my lip.

“Stop,” he mocked. “Make me.”

Jake leant down and started alternating between kissing and sucking my neck. I wiggled underneath him, but I couldn’t escape his hold.

“Red light, Jake,” I shook my head. “We need to go.”

Jake immediately pulled up and pouted, “Mood killer.”

“Save it for after we get Richy denied parole!” I poked his stomach. “Think of it as motivation.”

Jake laughed and stood up to stretch out, “I didn’t need any, but I'll take it. On a more serious note, we need to work on your self-defence because that was pathetic.”

I got up and dusted myself off, “Gee, thanks. How about you teach me a few things then?”

“Gladly,” he smiled as he picked up his helmet. “When I'm not so sore. For now, let’s go find something to eat and maybe pick up a new ride on the way.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I chuckled as I bent over to grab my helmet to put it on. “You have a place in mind already?”

“Yes, there’s a rest stop with a diner not far from here, which meets both requisites,” he explained as he put his gloves on.

I lifted our bag off the ground and slung it over my shoulder while put his backpack on. He grabbed the dirt bike and pushed it across the barn. I held the door open to give him extra clearance while he exited. Before joining Jake on the dirt bike, I took one last look at the old barn that had sheltered us.

Jake rode considerably more slowly and carefully across the empty fields until we finally reached the road 30 minutes later. The one lane road was empty and weaved through densely forested areas. On a normal day I'd appreciate the clean, fresh air. However, that day was anything but normal.

Eventually the road merged with a busier two-lane highway. Not even five minutes later, the bike started to sputter. Jake pulled off immediately to the side.

“That's as far as the tank can take us,” he sighed as we got off. “Help me move it into the bushes.”

With one of us on each side, we pushed the bike through the trees into the middle of dense bushes and dumped our helmets with it. Jake grabbed some fallen tree branches and tossed them on top to cover everything a little more.

“The diner shouldn't be much further,” he assured me as we took off on foot again.

Truck after truck sped past us as we walked down the shoulder of the highway. Thankfully, Jake was right, the diner was just around the bend, but given the last day of travelling, I was already feeling rather worn out.

Navigating through the parking lot of the diner, Jake scoped out potential new rides. Most of them were trucks of all sizes, some with trailers and some without. There were only a couple of cars, which meant his choices were limited. Breakfast first though, then car theft.

Being the gentleman he was, Jake opened the door of the diner for me to enter first. The inside was like a normal trucker's diner with a long bar space for individuals and a few booths for the occasional group when they had them. Beside the kitchen window a TV was mounted to the wall airing the morning news.

The bar itself was full of truck drivers shovelling breakfast into their mouths in silence with one lone middle-aged waitress refilling their coffee mugs. She looked at me and said something in German to us. I barely knew any German, but by the tone of her voice I could tell it wasn't a greeting.

“I have no idea what she said,” I commented quietly to Jake.

“She said we look like shit,” Jake put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

He responded to the woman in German. It was the first time I heard him speak his native language and although I had no idea what he was saying, I felt like I understood him just by watching him. They spoke back and forth a few times until Jake responded with one of the few words I knew, “Danke.”

“I told her that our car had broken down and we've been walking all night to find reception,” he explained. “She said the bathrooms are at the back, if you want to freshen up.”

“That sounds good,” I smiled at the woman. “Danke.”

The waitress kept her eyes on us as we headed to the back. Even the truckers started giving us sideways glances. I wasn't sure if it was because they don't get many tourists or if they had somehow recognised us, but Jake was calm and collected so I tried to mirror him.

There was a single stall each for men and women so we went our separate ways. Washing my hands after using the toilet, I eyed myself in the mirror. The woman was right, I did look like shit. I only had a few hours sleep in the barn after all. I washed my face as best as I could, then applied some basic make-up up to try to resemble a human being again. It wasn't the best transition, but it'd have to do.

After I finished up, I surprised to find Jake wasn't waiting outside the bathroom. Stepping out, I spotted him sitting at the closest booth facing the front door. He was busy reading the menu, or at least trying to pretend he was. One of the more hardened trucker’s was watching him from the bar. Surely Jake had noticed, right? He just determined the driver wasn't a threat, right? I rejoined Jake at the table and tried my hardest to not look back at the driver.

“Anything good?” I asked picking up my menu.

“Just your standard range of breakfast food,” he shrugged.

“I, uh, can't read any of this,” I admitted once I realised it was just a laminated text printout with no pictures, all in German.

“What do you want? I'll order for you,” he offered.

“Eggs, bacon, toast... the works really,” I sighed. “I feel hungover without the alcohol. Where's the fun in that?”

Jake lowered his menu and smirked smugly at me, “I'm glad you're starting to appreciate the necessity of food and eating well when you can.”

“I'd rather not think about it right now,” I shook my head. “Is it just me or are they staring at us?”

“Oh, they’re staring. Truckers don't really care for civilians invading their hangouts. It's like we're interrupting their secret club meeting,” he answered nonchalantly.

The waitress came over to take our orders. Jake ordered for us in German. There was something about the way that he spoke the language that had me entranced. Even though he was just literally ordering breakfast, I was hanging onto his every word.

“Is my Deutsch making you that flustered?” he laughed.

“Um, the language just sounds better from your lips,” I blushed.

“Ich liebe dich,” he smiled.

“I have no idea what that means,” I looked at him confused.

“Guess,” he teased.

I stared at him and tried to read from his expression and the context the meaning of what he said to me. “You think I'm cute?”

He chuckled, “No, I definitely think you're cute, but I said ‘I love you'.”

“Oh! I love you too!” I felt so bad for not getting it. “I am glad though that you remembered to say it outside of a life threatening situation.”

“See? I'm trying,” he joked.

“Oh my God! It just occurred to me that the hearing is going to be in German! What am I going to do!?” I gasped. “It’s not like you can go with me!”

“While I'm sure the board can understand English, your friends will be there and they could translate for you?” he suggested.

“Oh, of course,” I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. “What am I even going to say?”

“The truth? That he betrayed and used you to bring a legend to life in order to terrorise you and your friends just because he couldn't face his own guilt. That he used his good nature to deceive all of you, so even now, any good behaviour should not be trusted. It is just a show to get early release. He doesn't actually feel remorse,” Jake suggested.

“Yeah, I guess,” I sighed.

“You'll work it out,” he put his hand over mine assuredly.

A special news bulletin suddenly interrupted the morning news. I couldn’t understand what was being said, but it was very clear to me that they were issuing a warning to the public that dangerous fugitives had crossed the border and they were to be on the lookout for us. To my surprise, they were still using the old photo of me and the police sketch of Jake. They showed some of the CCTV footage of the train, but the quality was so poor that you really couldn't make out our faces. Nevertheless, I turned back towards Jake and sunk into the seat, hoping that no one in the diner would put two and two together. Jake squeezed my hand to get my attention. Glancing up at him, he held himself with confidence and strength, but his eyes were piercing, as if he was telling me to get my shit together. He was right of course. Every time I panicked I risked us being exposed. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Out of nowhere our waitress plopped down our dishes, catching me by surprise and nearly causing me to jump out of my seat. She looked at me oddly, like I had three heads, then said something in German. Jake responded in German, obviously trying to cover for my skittish reaction.

“You need to get a better handle on this,” he whispered while frowning at me. “If you keep acting guilty, people are going to know you’re guilty and that will expose us both.”

“But I'm not even guilty,” I whined. “Well not until yesterday.”

Jake sighed and said nothing. He just ate his breakfast while avoiding eye contact with me.

“What? You’re meant to say something snarky or whatever,” I pressured.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. I kicked his leg under the table. “Ow! What the fuck was that for?”

“I am a woman. It is never nothing so spill,” I glared.

“Just wondering if I should’ve just killed you,” he mumbled.

“What for?” I narrowed my eyes.

“Maybe asking you to handle this is too much for you,” he grumbled. I kicked him again. “Ow! I am definitely going to kill you if you keep kicking me!”

“I can handle it,” I gritted my teeth, then started eating

“Good,” he went back to eating.

I glanced up from my plate and realised I needed to cut the tension between us, “Any thoughts on a ride?”

“Well I always wanted to drive a semi,” he mused.

“You’re not serious,” I laughed.

“How hard could it be?” he shrugged.

“Uh, very?” I shook my head. “Besides, I don’t think we should be crossing any of these guys.”

“I could take them,” he insisted. “But you’re right, their cabs are probably vile cesspits.”

“So a normal sedan?” I proposed.

“Unless you want to walk all the way to Colville,” he said sarcastically, earning him another kick. “You’re really asking to be punished later.”

I stuck my tongue out at him like a true brat and kicked him under the table again.