#I had a plan
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I just realized chapter 4 of jsyk ily is super short.
I might be releasing two chapters this week after all.
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JOEY IS LEAVING KOOZAā¦.I THOUGHT HE WAS LEAVING IN OCTOBERā¦ā¦.I HAVENT GOTTEN TO SEE HIM PERFORM AS THE TRICKSTER AGAIN YET IM SO SAD
#god damn it brooooooo#I know heās a young person living his life but gldkfkdj#I had a plan#I was gonna try to see him one more time and then Iād accept the transient nature of live performances and be happy#but nooooooo#heās leaving with no notice (that I could see)#I havenāt gotten to see his Crooner skeleton dance since last year when I didnāt even know what I was seeing!!#Iām so sad but mostly mad (directionless)#Iām smad#sad face sad face sad face#when Joey dances the Trickster in Kooza all is right in the world#it will never be this good again#Iām being melodramatic but gldkflfkfld my dreams are crushed#Iāll never get to experience this beloved thing again#Kooza#me stuff
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I need to know if this is an avpd thing- I mean, I know everything is intertwined but do any of you relate to this that have avpd?
So I actually love starting over and finding new jobs, new places to live, etc. I like that I have zero obligation to be "good" at whatever task my job requires and I love that it will take time before anyone really gets to know me. But then, once I'm fully confident and excelling in my job, to the point of getting promotions, I have this undeniable urge to quit.
This switch flips and I'm just done. I have zero passion for the work any longer and zero desire to continue at all. To the point where it feels damn near physically painful to keep doing the job. It usually takes about a year for that switch to flip.
This is a significant problem now that I've completed my degree and am supposed to have an actual career. I've done this one job for two years now and I would so happily quit right this second and never do it ever again if I could afford it. I don't want my clients or the obligations or the reputation I'm cultivating (even though it's fully positive). And I ESPECIALLY do not want to be known within the community and to have a searchable website with information about what I do and how to get in touch with me!
All that being said, I'm not doing well with my career because I truly hate it now and I have never been able to force myself to actively seek out clients. This is my 6th career change in 10 years and I don't know how to stop this cycle. Is this familiar to anyone??
My therapist is no help š
#just curious!#do any of you relate to this??#i realize i need a career that is less reliant on reputation#i had a plan#i thought it would work#i was so very wrong!#avpd#avoidant personality disorder#actually avpd
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Thank goddess!! I finally have some time to sit down and catch up on some of my fics... Ao3's down
So much for taking a break, back to packing
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Oh... so this is how it starts
Yes, I can definitely write a quick little 6-12k story for LoceitWeek...
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incoming baby means proposing marriage and moving in...
#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 gameplay#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#*tjol#*tjol1#*tjol: nevaeh whitlock#these guys did this autonomously#can't believe it#i had a plan#and they ruined it
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I hate when nothing goes as planned
#I HAD A PLAN#ALL IT HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW IT#BUT NOOOO#upset? maybe perhaps#just a tad#the vibe speaks
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y'all i... i think i bit off a lot with bonding. i dunno if it's more than i can chew but i'm getting into the full forgotten realms fic with it because there is A Plot I Want To Explore
okay, you know what? when i thought this would be a nice simple "i will marry my vampire lover" fanfic i was an idiot- i originally planned this to be 10 chapters.
10 mate, we're on ch. 9 and they're not getting married yet hahaha
i'm such a dumbass!
#.txt#fic: bonding.#metafiction#i had a plan#a nice simple plan- seduce you- sleep with you- give you smut so you'd never turn on me#then the plot got me because i'm autistic
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Completely altering the base design to make smth that barely resembles the source material?
Nooooo, I'd never....
#light's spot#anyways#wip of AEB Eclipse#which at this point#I don't even know where I'm going with#I had a plan#and then Ruin released so uhhh#derailed baybee#my art#sketch#wip#and no I haven't drawn his arms in yet#not sure how to pose them yet
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#fic: regime#I had a plan#but then I thought it would be hotter if more people died#soooo#now we're here
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So my love and I went back to see if we could find that wonderful cat we had met, I came up with a plan on steps we could take to help and see if it had a home already and I carried my cats carrier case the whole 5 miles just in case we saw him again.. we never saw him again though.. I canāt help but wonder where the kitty is or if he had a good home or not..
I am an animal lover and I do wish I could help most animals in need but this felt different, I truly have been thinking so much of this cat and I hope he is safe and happy.
#no luck#honeycombhank#pet cat#stray cat#male cat#lost cats#lost cat#nature walk#the other day#i had a plan#i hope he is doing well#personal#my thoughts
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Making birthday plans is haaaaard
#personal#I had a plan#it was going to be great#but the place I wanted to book for dinner is unavailable#and nowhere else is quite right#we've been fussing over it for like 2 hours or something and I'm far too tired to be having it#I was going to read this afternoon but that doesn't seem to be how things are playing out
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I'm sorry ecc do you know how evil it is to have sav m and sadie at yagp Italy knowing full well I might not be able to buy their dances????
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Me trying not to tweak out bc we're leaving early for rehearsal to pick up my younger step sister
ITS NOT FAIR
#like bro#i had a plan#i was gonna do some homework before we left#but NO#augh and im hunrgy#didn't get to eat before we keft
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Alexa, play The Prophecy by Taylor Swift.
#I was supposed to be asleep at 10:30#I had a plan#and then things happened#and now Iāve been up too long and thinking too much#and it all just hurts
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there are many benefits to being a ground-type pokemon trainer
#or giovanni sakaki's 'how to get away with murder' handbook#this is so goofy I could barely finish it#i had a whole dunmeshi-esque bit planned where Gio rants about benefits of poison and ground pokemon in body disposal#but it's already too silly#mik draws#idk just in case#cw death#cw implied death#tw dead body#cw dead body#pokemon#dugtrio#giovanni#giovanni pokemon#team rocket giovanni#rocket leader giovanni#drawing#digital drawing#digital art
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