#I had a much worse reaction image but I love you too much to do that to u <33 /p

[leafatlaw]

hi beloved! I love you /p <333 you are super cool and awesome :3

[beloveds-embrace]

Hi Noona! First, I just want to say that I am IN LOVE and OBSESSED with your Dukedom au’s, especially all the delicious ANGSTTTT you’ve been feeding uss. Your writing is literally what’s keeping me going and I can’t stop rereading all your works!! <3<3

But imagine if Knight!Konig comes back, maybe he regrets leaving reader and has realized that he loves her but he comes back to see her in that state and to see that she is OVERRR all these men being so neglectful and just numb to everything. What would his reaction even be or how would reader even react to seeing Konig coming back, basically with his tail tucked under? Would reader treat Konig even worse than the 141 since he left her and literally abandoned her?

Hi!! Thank you so so much for your kind words!! 💕💗🫶🏻 here is how i think it’d go if konig showed his ugly mug again 🙂‍↕️ thank you to @awkward-fink for helping with the little german bits! 💗

Dukedom au masterlist

angst dukedom where konig leaves

König had thought, in the weeks after leaving, that distance would provide clarity. His departure had been necessary- he’d convinced himself that the pain of watching you suffer was more than he could bear. Watching you slowly fade, your spirit cracking under the weight of the neglect, was something he couldn’t stomach.

It had been a decision made from guilt and a twisted sense of self-preservation. He had left, and in the absence of his presence, he believed he was giving you space to heal, to be free of the burden of his involvement in the chaos that seemed to constantly surround you.

But as the days turned into weeks, something gnawed at him. The silence of your absence was deafening. The image of your hollow eyes, the light leaving them as his words registered, the way you recoiled from every touch, from every word, stayed with him. Every step he took away from you felt like it was dragging him deeper into a well of regret.

But wasn’t until he heard rumors- whispers among the servants, hushed conversations in the alleyway, because he couldn’t help himself but keep an ear out for you- that he realized how deeply wrong he had been.

You weren’t just neglected now.

You were gone. Your fire had dimmed to a flicker, nothing but a broken shell of the person you had once been.

And the thought of you, isolated, suffering, and numb, shattered him more than he cared to admit.

Es war meine Schuld.

The day he returned to the duchy was gray and overcast, the sky heavy, a dark glare that felt aimed at him. König stood outside the manor gates for a long while, his breath fogging in the cold air. His heart hammered in his chest, and every instinct screamed at him to turn back.

But he had to see you. He had to make things right, even if it was too late.

He’d made the decision to return quietly- no grand gesture, no apologies spoken aloud. Just the hope that your eyes would soften at the sight of him, that you might, just maybe, let him back in. That you’d let him kneel in front of you, hold your hand to his lips so he could renew his vows of protection and loyalty.

But as he crossed the threshold of the manor, something in the air felt wrong. He could feel the weight of the place pressing down on him, as heavy as the sky outside. The halls were eerily still, and the silence wrapped around him more like a shroud than a safe blanket.

The first person he encountered was Kyle. There was no warmth in head butler’s eyes- just a cold acknowledgment of his return. When Kyle spoke, his voice was tight with bitterness. “You’ve returned,” he said simply, gaze hard. “Do what you must. Her Grace is in the conservatory.”

König felt the sting of that comment, but he didn’t falter; whyever would he care for the words of one who also had a hand in your pain and suffering? Though he did notice that Kyle, for once, spoke your title with no hatred, but respect.

True to the butler’s words, König found you in the conservatory, sitting among the flowers, your back to him. There was an untouched tray of tea nearby, delicate curls of steam rising, alongside a plate of pastries.

None of that mattered.

König’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of you. You looked different- distant, lost in a way he hadn’t expected. As if your body was here, but the rest of you was somewhere so far away he would never be able to reach you.

“Mylady…” His voice broke the stillness, like a tremor in the air.

You didn’t turn around. Not at first. You knew it was him before he even spoke, the heavy weight of his presence unmistakable, the sound of his footsteps unforgettable to your ears.

There was a flicker of something inside you- a flash of anger, a fleeting hope, a moment of disbelief. But it was all… meaningless, swallowed up by the crushing numbness that had taken root and spread its branches in your chest.

“… Why are you back here, König?” you asked, your voice soft and flat, void of any emotion. You don’t look away from the flowers, the only colors your eyes seem to notice these days.

König stepped closer, his hands shaking slightly as he reached out, unsure of whether you would allow him to approach. His throat tightened, the guilt in his chest like a snake wounding around his ribs. “I… I made a mistake, mylady. I shouldn’t have left you.”

The words felt weak, fragile. Nothing like what he wanted to say. But this was where he had to start, he thought. This was where he could rebuild, piece by fragile piece.

You finally turned to face him, your eyes meeting his with a dull, hollow gaze. There was no anger in them- not really. He had left, and it had shattered you, and now you kept the shattered pieces protected.

“You left me,” you whispered, brows furrowing, frown tugging down. “You left me when I needed you the most. There wasn’t- there wasn’t a better offer somewhere else, you just… left me.”

The snake around König’s chest constricted painfully. “I know,” he said, raw and aching. “I know, mylady. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. Das war ein Fehler.”

You stared at him, your gaze unblinking, the silence between you thick and heavy. Bitterness swelled in your throat, like ash. “And now you want to come back?” your voice was barely above a whisper, accusatory. “You… think that’s going to make everything better?”

He flinched, the words cutting into him like a knife. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t even expect you to want me here. But I need to try. I need to—”

“Stop,” you interrupted, your voice suddenly louder, sharp with pain. You hold your face in your hands, breaths shaky. “Stop- stop pretending like you can fix this. You all left me to rot. I’m… I’m beyond fixing. I just want to be left alone now.”

König’s heart shattered at your words, his breath catching in his throat. He had never imagined it would be like this- never imagined the depth of your suffering even if he should have.

“I should have stayed,” he said, trembling, weak in the face of your pain. “I should have fought for you. But I didn’t. And now… I don’t know how to make it right, mylady.”

The silence between you stretched, your eyes fixed on him as if you were searching for something- some sign of the man who had once stood by your side, who had once made you feel safe. But all you saw now was a stranger whose words yoy struggled to trust.

“… Why didn’t you fight for me?” you asked at last, quietly, the tears that had been held back for so long finally threatening to spill. But you didn’t let them fall- not yet. Your chest ached, your hands trembled, but you held on.

König opened his mouth, but the words failed him. He had no answers for you- only the crushing weight of his own guilt.

“I was afraid,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought leaving would right thing to do, for both of us. But it wasn’t. It was the worst thing I could have done, mylady. I am… sorry. Truly.”

You stared at him for a long moment, the numbness in your chest swelling to an unbearable weight. You could have screamed, could have told him everything you had bottled up. But instead, you just… turned away.

“I can’t do this,” you decide, your voice breaking. “I can’t keep letting people in only to have them leave. I can’t.”

König didn’t reach for you. He stood there, helpless, aching with the knowledge that he had done this to you- had left you to drown in your own pain, to rot in the silence of a house that cared so little.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again, his voice thick with regret, but you didn’t turn back. You didn’t even acknowledge him anymore, merely focused on your flowers once more, thick tears slowly spilling down your cheeks.

König stood in the conservatory, the glass walls surrounding him, and for the first time in a long time, he understood the depth of his failure. The path back to you seemed impossible now, the distance between the man he had been and the woman he loved growing farther than he ever thought it could.

Still, he stood there like a dutiful Knight. He had left you once, and unless you specifically order him to leave… he won’t abandon you once more.

[anonymouscheeses]

Even more and more of obvious shit I point out because I want an excuse to rant while not interacting with actual people in real life who also like this show because I'm masking 😍💜💜

BARELY STARTED AND BRO. YOU JUST LET HER DO THAT TO YOU, ME PERSONALLY-

HE'S PETTING KEE-KEE I LOVE HIM SMM

HER HOOVES. I LOVE IT. NOT LIKE THAT, IM JUST A FURRY-

*grabs pen*

ANGRY CHARLIE FOR THE WIN. I LOVE WHEN THE HAPPY CHARACTER GETS ANGSTY (Cough. Luz. Cough).

The people writing fanfics where she gets FURIOUS. Omg. That was something I read. I LOVE MY FELLOW FANFIC WRITERS BUT OH MY- YALL REALLY HAD CHARLIE M A D.

"Uh-"

I love his reaction lmao look at his goofy face.

HER BOW BECAME HORNS (my "redesign" is now 100% worse)

SAD VAGGIE. THE BOW. DROOPY.

Oh and the angel dust fellow back there 🤯

I LOVE ROSIE SO MUCH HUH

Tall.

No explanation needed. <3

PLEASE HELP???

CUTIE PATOOTIE. I LOVE HER SM UGGHHH

CHARLIE HATES OLD PEOPLE COMFIRMED YAY 😍😍💅💅

Hot

That's it.

IN SYNC. I LOVE THIS SONG AND THE ENTIRE SCENE. WHY IS IT RANKED SO LOW WITH SOME OF YALL?? Okay well-

I thought this song was gonna be a Charlie and Vaggie duet- tbh I still preferred that BUT I LOVE CARMILLA SO I KINDA DONT CARE.

BUT I WAS ROBBED OF AN ACTUAL FULL CHAGGIE DUET (REPRISE DOESNT COUNT) IF H*SKERDUST GETS A FULL ONE WHY CAN'T CHAGGIE? *SOB* uhh anyway-

Is that. Like. How she thinks actually 😰

I know there's been a lot of the lack of Vaggie's self-worth, which I wish was explored into more. I just think the Vaggie(3rd) episode just wasn't needed at all if it didn't even have an impact. Don't get me started on that episode, it was rushed, too early to have character arcs already, and overall not needed or even should have existed periodt.

I hope they explore it next season because GOD this woman needs TO LOVE HERSELF. OR ATLEAST CARE ABOUT HERSELF LIKE????

SWEET MAMA PLEASE. TAKE ME IN YOUR WINGS AAAAAAAAA

Charlie, sharing is caring <3

Out of all the people I thought Charlie would vent to I didn't think it would be ROSIE. It's a nice surprise tho I love her <3

bisexuality.

That's it.

HE'S DANCING. ALASTOR IS DANCING. THEY ARE SLAYING BESTIES. THE MAN IS DANCING. HELP.

Season 2 is going to be Charlie in her villain era and Alastor's reputation era 😍

I LOVE VAGGIE'S FACE. PRECIOUS BABY UGHH... THEN THE WINGS REPLACE THE BOW AND DROOP UGGHH I HOPE IN SEASON 2 WE SEE MORE OF HER WINGS. OR CUT HER HAIR SHORT SO WE CAN HAVE IT ALL THE TIME. Also so Husk and Vaggie can bond over both having wings. Sorry I love their potential friendship so much. AND LUCIFER AND VAGGIE TOO!! BOTH BEING FALLEN ANGELS OMG. UGH THE POTENTIAL OF VAGGIE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH NOT JUST CHARLIE ARE SO GOOD AND I HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF SEEING HER AS AN ACTUALLY MORE FLESHED OUT CHARACTER. I AM SCREAMING AAAAAAAA.

I can't say how much I love them. It's too much. I cant- yay the teaser image before the show came out <3 they are so fucking adorable. UGH SOME1 END ME

Charlie loves the wings hehehe. Vaggie looks nervous about it. It's probably a reminder to her about when she used to be an exterminator. The healing from everything will take a long time but hopefully Charlie will be there for her the entire time. And vice versa

Ayo- 😰

CHARLIE. T H E PRECIOUS BABY.

Uh next one tomorrow cuz yeah 🤯

[kindaasrikal]

I need people to remember that Nya was also in love with Jay since day 1, its just that it wasn’t her biggest priority seeing as she was going through a whole thing called insecurities and finding who she is outside of her brother and outside of her parents and outside of her village and outside of Jay.

Nya loves Jay the same amount, she has loved Jay just as long as Jay had, but her love for Jay wasn’t something she was willing to pursue when absolutely everyone would dumb her down to just that. The same way everyone was already dumbing her down to Kai’s sister the second they all met, and the same way they were already dumbing her down to just the love interest between Jay and Cole even after finding her identity and place as Samurai X. Imagine how much it hit her when Samurai X, and image she crafted so carefully with so much love and attention and pride, was suddenly belittled and mocked because apparently he was actually a she.

And you can’t forget the fact that she was suddenly forced to grapple with another new identity as the water ninja, and then had to deal with all the hate and mockery and belittling everyone was doing as she wasn’t just the water ninja, but the girl ninja. Its not easy to hear the comments people from a whole city make of you because of your gender. Even people from your own gender, and it must’ve been even worse because no one else understood, they knew it was a problem but they still believed her reactions were too over the top. The stress of all of that and then also having someone she loved but wasn’t ready to love with try force another path onto her was bound to stress her out.

Jay wasn’t necessarily an ass during that season, from what i can remember. He was a whole mess yeah, his insecurities making him take actions he wouldn’t have before and try forcing his wants and desires onto someone else who wasn’t ready for it. But he grew and learnt and stopped all that as the season progressed. He had to understand that the people around him won’t just leave or downgrade him, and that he must ease his own anxiety and understand that whatever happens will happen for the good of them all. That doesn’t change the fact that his actions in the beginning was a shi show though, so no wonder Nya pushed him away during that time. Reminder that you can still be angry and annoyed at someone you love, especially when they deserve it.

Not to mention she has never been all that vocal with her affection. Not like Jay. You know she cares and loves you simply through the way she trusts people but shes also been a lot more locked up over her emotions, and thats okay. Because Jay knows (haha, knew.) that Nya loves him just as much because if she didn’t she would very obviously state that. She may not be vocal over her emotions or her love for someone, but she is over her opinions. She won’t just let someone use her or mess with her because she feels bad or that she has too.

Right now, for Nya and Jay’s character, I’d rather focus on the identity crisis that JAY is going through now instead of Nya, and of how NYA is the one chasing and wanting to bring Jay into her life despite him not wanting (not being ready?) to do so. I’d rather focus on her development as a character and now as a teacher. And how Nya is going to change and grow like how Jay changed and grew in Skybound for her. Honestly I would love a lot more focus of developing Nya’s character as an adult who is horrible at being vulnerable and how she will grow, with the whole ‘Nya and Jay!’ Thing just a tad bit more in the background and used as more of a kick up for it. And for us to watch what may happen to Jay as he changes in a new environment with new memories and experiences.

For once, i want to watch them grow separately rather than watch them grow for each other. I know Nya can do that, but it’s only with Jay having lost his memories that he’s now capable of doing that for himself and only himself.

Sorry this was huge throw up of a rant so honestly just believe that this is five random points shoved into one post and rambled in a horrible way

Edit: reminder that Nya didn’t just disregard her feelings for Jay just so she wouldn’t be placed as simply his girlfriend, but also because she had many other worries. Completing missions and making sure everyone lived, being the biggest brain and planner in the team for ages, as well understanding her self outside of her town that she lived in for ages. Kai was able to fond himself easily amongst the other ninja, but Nya didn’t have that. So obviously she, as a 13-16 year old young teenage girl, would rather focus on finding new hobbies and having new experiences than pursuing a love life she wouldn’t even be confident in pursuing in. Jay and Nya are not each other only priority or worry, their love for each other is important to them and who they are, but isn’t the most defining factor or shouldn’t be the most focused.

[hannieehaee]

hiii!! so i actually just miserably failed my exam that i studied WEEKS for 😭 but my friends were waiting for me in front of my class and i started crying as soon as i saw them

i’m still kinda sad about it so i was wondering if you could write a short blurb with any of svt, where reader fails their exam like me and is really upset about it and it’s kinda fluff/angst

in honor of finals week too 🙏

their s/o failing an exam

content: established relationship, mentions of failed exam, student!reader, mentions of crying, etc.

wc: 1003

a/n: im so sorry that happened anon :( i hope you're feeling better about it and dont stress too much about it!!<3 also im so sorry omg i didnt realize this want a request for a reaction until after i wrote it 😭

masterlist

seungcheol -

his first reaction would be a consolation gift for you. he knows you so well he'd be able to provide you with the perfect gift to make you feel at least a little bit better. other than that, he'd curse out the teacher (in private lol), annoyed that they didn't know hard work when they saw it. he'd do his best to make you laugh and just forget about the exam at least for the rest of the night, wanting you to finally relax after the weeks you'd spent studying.

jeonghan -

he has every expression of your face memorized, so he'd know right away that you failed your exam. he'd be soooo comforting and nice to you, which would just get you to want to sulk even more lol. he wouldn't mind, though. he loves being a source of comfort for you, so he'd spend the rest of the day reassuring you and insulting that dumb stupid exam and that idiotic useless class!!

joshua -

he'll get a little sassy as he complained about your class and your teacher, not able to understand how you could've possibly failed when you'd spent weeks preparing for it. however, he'd put these complaints aside to make sure you didn't wallow in the feeling of having tanked an exam. he'd want to reassure you that one failed exam meant nothing and that you were way more than some dumb exam.

jun -

would kind of baby you about it. not really baby you, but he'd become the embodiment of comfort and reassurance, insisting on putting aside any stress the exam had formed and take care of you for the rest of the day so you could unwind and just be calm after all the time you'd spent working overtime in preparation for the exam. would maybe even get annoyed at the teacher who gave out the test, wondering what more they could possibly expect from you, the hardest working person he knows?

soonyoung -

he'd cry along with you. it'd be almost as if he was the one who failed the exam. nothing hurts him more than your sadness, so he'd just be crying as he whined at you to not cry bc he loved you and bc you'd do better next time and bc you were super smart and capable and one exam could not get rid of that. it'd be a funny image - just the two of you in an endless cycle of crying and comforting each other.

wonwoo -

he'd feel genuinely sad along with you. he would've been your biggest supporter as you prepared for this exam, so he'd know first-hand how hard you worked and how much it meant to you. would act in whichever way you needed. if you wanted to build a game plan to build your grades back up, he'd be right there forming a schedule with you. if you wanted to sulk and forget about it, he'd be ordering your favorite food and helping you into your pjs.

jihoon -

he'd be so confused at first. like how could they fail you? how, when he'd seen first-hand how long and how hard you'd worked to prepare for it? he might even get misguided frustration at whoever was in charge of that class, claiming they clearly played their students, bc if you failed then everyone else must've done way worse by a landslide.

seokmin -

he'd kind of go into a motherly role lol. he'd cocoon you in your favorite blanket, get your favorite pjs, your favorite snacks, etc. would do everything in his power to get your mind off the exam at least for the rest of the night so you could unwind from all the hard work you'd done to prepare for it.

mingyu -

would be genuinely annoyed and frustrated at the exam, the class, the teacher, the ta, you name it. would somehow be even more upset and frustrated than you. however, he'd put all this aside to ensure he was there for you, comforting you and ensuring you that one failed exam meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. you'd still be his super smart s/o that he's obsessed with!!

minghao -

he knows what it's like to work super hard and do everything possible to perform as good as humanly possible and having it not pay off for some reason, so he would completely empathize with you. would feel so apologetic, swearing up and down that this was just one exam and that you were still so smart and hardworking and that all your efforts would pay off next time.

seungkwan -

he's your number one supporter and cheerleader. he would've prepared a whole mini celebration for the aftermath of your exam, never once considering the possibility you could fail (bc in his eyes that was impossible lmao). he'd have to backtrack and make up new plans in order to comfort you at the unexpected aftermath. would coo and whine and cry with you, acknowledging and agreeing with all your feelings and complaints about how things played out.

vernon -

he'll do his best to physically show up for you, maybe even waiting outside your class or parked in his car as he waits for you. will know immediately upon seeing the look on your face that you'd failed and would act accordingly. doesn't want to make a big deal about it in order to not make you feel worse, so he'd opt to take you back home and let you indulge in whatever you want as he spends quality time with you, putting the failed exam in the back of your mind.

chan -

assimilates your mood without even realizing it. if you cried, he'd cry too. if you sulked, he'd be right there with you. if you got angry, he'd get furious. he'd feel all your emotions, just a little extra more bc he has to see his super smart, super hardworking s/o suffer through not performing as well as expected; something which he can totally relate to.

[dovesdreaming]

Caught between stars

Summary: You’re Sirius and Regulus’s sister and you’re in love with Remus. Your brothers protectiveness push away the person you love and nearly cause you two to never find each other.

Request

Masterlist

Word count: 4.4k (my biggest yet!!)

-

The cold, stone corridors of Hogwarts had always been your home, but as you walked along them today, they felt tighter, more suffocating. It wasn’t just the pressure of your studies or the usual burden of being a Black. It was something, or rather someone, else entirely. You had been in love with Remus Lupin for what felt like an eternity. But you were Sirius and Regulus Black’s younger sister, and nothing about your life had ever been simple. Your brothers were protective to the point of obsession, despite their own messy relationship. Sirius, always wild and free, had made it his mission to shield you from everything he considered beneath you, including anyone who might try to take advantage of your kindness. And Regulus, though quieter and less openly affectionate, kept his distance but still made sure you knew he was watching over you. And Remus? Well, he was tangled up in it all. Remus was one of Sirius’s best friends, a Marauder through and through, but he wasn’t reckless like the others. He was thoughtful, reserved, always the quiet anchor to Sirius’s storm. But to you, he was more than that. He was everything.

The problem was, you didn’t know how to tell him. Or worse, how to tell your brothers. You had grown close to Remus over the years, initially through Sirius, but your bond had deepened in a way you couldn’t have anticipated. You found yourself looking for him in every room, heart skipping whenever he smiled in your direction. But every time you thought about making your feelings known, the image of Sirius’s reaction, his protective anger, his wild disapproval, flashed in your mind. And so you kept it to yourself, trapped in the secrecy of your love.

It was a rainy afternoon when you found yourself in the library, pretending to study for Potions but unable to focus. The sky outside was dark and brooding, mirroring your mood. As you sat by the window, staring at the book without really reading, the door creaked open, and you looked up to see none other than Remus Lupin walking in. Your breath caught in your throat, as it always did when he was near. He spotted you almost immediately and offered that gentle, kind smile that always made your stomach flutter. "Mind if I sit here?" he asked, gesturing to the chair across from you. “Not at all" you said, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn’t want to seem too eager. Remus sat down and pulled out a book, but his eyes flicked up to meet yours before he opened it. There was something different about him today, an edge of weariness in his expression, a certain heaviness in his posture. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way his hands fidgeted restlessly. The full moon had been just a few days ago.

"You look tired” you said softly, watching him closely. He glanced at you, his expression softening, but there was still that guardedness in his eyes. "Just a long week” he replied, brushing it off. "Anything I can do?" you asked, the words out before you could stop them. You cursed yourself inwardly, wondering if it sounded too much, too desperate. But Remus’s smile widened, and for a moment, he seemed to relax. "Just you being here is enough” he said. Your heart thudded in your chest, and you quickly looked down at your book, hoping he didn’t see the blush creeping up your cheeks. But his words stayed with you, filling you with warmth. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance he felt the same way. Maybe he looked for you in a room the way you looked for him. Maybe he thought about you late at night, wondering if you thought about him, too. But as quickly as the hope rose, so did the fear. Even if Remus did feel the same, what would your brothers say? Sirius’s laughter could be heard across the school grounds, but his temper was just as loud. And Regulus, though less vocal, would still expect you to fall in line with the expectations of the Black family, even if those expectations were less strict with you than they were with him.

You sighed, pushing the thoughts away. But before you could sink back into the quiet misery of your unspoken feelings, Remus’s voice broke through your haze. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something” he said, his tone more serious now. You blinked, looking up at him. "What is it?" Remus hesitated, his brow furrowing slightly. "I’ve noticed something.. You’ve been avoiding me lately” Your heart skipped a beat. He’d noticed? Of course he had. He was Remus. Observant, thoughtful, always paying attention to things others missed. “I haven’t-“ you started, but the look in his eyes told you he knew better. "It’s alright” he said, his voice gentle but firm. "I just... if I’ve done something, I’d like to know”. His words made your chest tighten with guilt. You hadn’t meant to avoid him, not really. But the closer you got to him, the harder it was to keep your feelings hidden. It felt easier to pull back, to protect yourself from the possibility of rejection or, worse, the wrath of your brothers. But now, sitting across from him, you realized you couldn’t keep running from it.

"It’s not you” you said quietly, glancing down at your hands. "It’s me. I’ve just.. had a lot on my mind”. There was a long pause, and when you finally looked up, you saw that Remus was watching you closely, his eyes filled with concern. "What’s been bothering you?" You swallowed hard, the words forming in your throat but refusing to come out. You wanted to tell him everything, to pour out your heart and tell him how you felt. But fear gripped you, making your mouth go dry. "Y/N” Remus said softly, leaning forward just slightly. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?". The kindness in his voice, the sincerity- it was too much. The dam you had been holding back for so long finally broke. "It’s my brothers” you said, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. "It’s Sirius. And Regulus. They... They’re both so protective of me. And there’s someone I..” You trailed off, your voice trembling. You couldn’t say it. Not yet. Remus looked at you, his expression unreadable now. "They’re protective because they care about you” he said gently. "But you have your own life. You can make your own choices”. You nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. He didn’t know the full extent of what you were dealing with, but he was right. You couldn’t keep living in the shadow of your brothers. “I just... I’m scared” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I’m scared of how they’ll react. Of what they’ll think”.

Remus’s eyes softened further, and for a moment, you saw something there, something that looked like understanding, like empathy. He reached across the table and gently placed his hand over yours, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt through you. “You don’t have to be scared” he said quietly. "Not with me”. Your breath caught in your throat, and you looked down at where his hand rested on yours, feeling the warmth seep through your skin. It was so simple, so small, but it felt like everything in that moment. But then, just as quickly as the moment had come, Remus pulled his hand away, and his expression shifted. He sat back in his chair, his face suddenly more closed off, more guarded. "I should go” he said abruptly, his voice tight. You blinked, confused by the sudden change. "What? Why?" Remus stood, gathering his things in a rush. "I just... I need some air”. And then, before you could say another word, he was gone, leaving you sitting there, heart pounding in your chest and confusion swirling in your mind.

-

The next few days were torture. Remus had been avoiding you just like you had done to him and it didn’t take long for you to realize that he had figured it out, he knew how you felt. Maybe it was the way your voice had trembled when you talked about your brothers, or the way you had looked at him for just a little too long. Either way, he knew. And now he was pulling away from you, just like you had feared. It hurt more than you had expected. Sirius noticed something was off, of course. He was as perceptive as he was overbearing. He kept asking if you were alright, his tone almost playful, like he didn’t expect anything serious to be bothering you. But you brushed him off every time, unable to deal with his curiosity on top of everything else. But it was Regulus who surprised you. One evening, after dinner, you were walking alone through the courtyard when Regulus appeared beside you, his quiet presence both comforting and unnerving.

"You’ve been distant” he said without preamble, his tone calm and measured as always. "What’s going on?". You hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him. Regulus wasn’t like Sirius. He wouldn’t fly off the handle or tease you relentlessly. But he was still a Black, still your brother, and there were expectations that came with that. "I’ve just been..dealing with some things” you said vaguely, hoping he wouldn’t press further. Regulus gave you a sideways glance, his expression unreadable. "It’s about Lupin, isn’t it?”. Your heart froze in your chest, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You stopped walking and turned to Regulus, searching his face for any sign of what he was thinking, but as always, he remained unreadable, his sharp features giving nothing away. “W-what?" you stammered, trying and failing to sound casual. "What makes you think it’s about Remus?" Regulus raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a faint, knowing smirk. "You’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you think you are, Y/N”. Heat crept up your neck, and you crossed your arms defensively, wishing you could melt into the ground beneath you. You had always been closer to Regulus than Sirius in some ways, sharing the quieter, more thoughtful side of your personality with him, but he could still see through you as easily as if you were an open book. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” you mumbled, turning away from him and continuing down the courtyard path. Your heart pounded in your chest, and your mind raced, trying to figure out how much Regulus actually knew.

He didn’t let you escape that easily, though. With quick, silent steps, he caught up to you and gently grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. His touch was light but firm, enough to let you know he wasn’t going to let this go. "Don’t lie to me” he said, his voice still calm but with an edge to it now. "I’ve seen the way you look at him”. You swallowed hard, staring at the ground, your heart thudding painfully against your ribs. There was no point denying it now, not with Regulus standing so close, his sharp eyes fixed on you like he could see right through to your soul. You were caught, and the truth hung heavy between you, unspoken but undeniable. “I..." Your voice wavered as you tried to find the right words. There was no easy way to say it, no way to explain what had been twisting inside you for so long. But this was Regulus, your quiet, watchful brother, and you knew that, despite everything, he wouldn’t judge you the way Sirius might. “I think i’m in love with him” you whispered finally, the words trembling as they left your lips. It was the first time you had said it out loud, and the weight of it felt both terrifying and freeing. Regulus’s expression didn’t change, but you saw the subtle shift in his eyes, a flicker of something, maybe understanding or concern. He let go of your arm and stepped back, crossing his own arms over his chest as he studied you for a long moment. “I figured” he said quietly. "You’ve been acting..different. Sirius hasn’t noticed yet, but he will”.

The mention of Sirius sent a fresh wave of panic through you, and you clenched your fists at your sides. Of course Sirius hadn’t noticed—he was too busy with his pranks and his wild antics to pay attention to your personal life. But you knew that when he did, it would be disastrous. Sirius wasn’t one for subtlety, especially not when it came to his sister. “I can’t tell him” you said quickly, your voice shaking. "He’ll lose it, Reg. He’ll... I don’t know what he’ll do, but it won’t be good”. Regulus nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to the ground. "You’re right. He won’t take it well”. There was a long pause, the silence between you thick with the weight of unspoken fears. Regulus’s face was thoughtful, and you could tell he was weighing his words carefully. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer, more cautious. “But... does Remus know?"

You felt your heart lurch at the question, your mind immediately flashing back to the moment in the library, the way Remus had pulled away from you so suddenly. You had thought he might feel the same, but his sudden withdrawal had thrown everything into chaos, leaving you more confused than ever. “I think he knows” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "But... I don’t think he wants to feel the same”. Regulus’s brow furrowed, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly. "Why wouldn’t he?" You bit your lip, unsure how to answer. It wasn’t just about your brothers; it was about everything that came with Remus’s life, everything he had been hiding from the world- his condition, the full moons, the pain he carried with him. You knew he would never want to drag anyone else into that darkness, least of all you. “He’s... he’s afraid” you said finally, the words heavy on your tongue. "Afraid of what it would mean. Afraid of what Sirius would do. Afraid of hurting me”. Regulus was silent for a moment, his gaze distant as he processed your words. Then, with a quiet sigh, he shook his head. “That sounds like Lupin” he said, a trace of bitterness in his voice. "Always carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders”.

You couldn’t help but smile faintly at that. It was true, Remus was always the one trying to keep everything in balance, even at the expense of his own happiness. And now, knowing how you felt, he had pulled away, trying to protect you, even if it meant breaking both your hearts. Regulus must have noticed the sadness in your expression because he sighed and uncrossed his arms, his gaze softening. “You’ll have to talk to him” he said quietly. "If you want to have any chance of making this work, you’ll have to be honest with each other. And Sirius... he’ll find out eventually, whether you tell him or not”. The thought of confronting Sirius filled you with dread, but Regulus was right. You couldn’t keep hiding forever, not from Remus and certainly not from your brothers.

“I don’t know how” you whispered, feeling the familiar weight of fear settling in your chest again. “You’ll figure it out” Regulus said simply, his voice steady. "You’re stronger than you think”. You met his eyes, surprised by the quiet support you found there. Regulus wasn’t one for grand gestures or emotional speeches, but in his own way, he was offering you the strength you needed. It was more than enough. "Thank you” you murmured, your throat tight with emotion. Regulus gave you a small nod, his expression unreadable once more. "Just... be careful. Sirius is unpredictable. And Remus, well... he’s got his own battles”. With that, Regulus turned and walked away, leaving you alone in the courtyard. You stood there for a long moment, the wind brushing through your hair as you stared out at the darkening sky. You knew what you had to do now.

You had to find Remus. You had to talk to him. It wasn’t hard to figure out where Remus had gone. He had always found solace in the quieter corners of Hogwarts, and tonight, you knew exactly where to find him: the Astronomy Tower. It was his favorite place, where he could look out over the grounds and lose himself in the vastness of the night sky. When you reached the top of the tower, you found him standing by the edge, leaning against the stone railing, his back to you. His shoulders were hunched, and even from behind, you could sense the tension radiating from him. “Remus" you called softly, your voice trembling with nerves. He tensed at the sound of your voice but didn’t turn around. For a moment, you feared he would walk away again, just like he had in the library. But after a long pause, he sighed and turned to face you, his expression weary but resigned. “You shouldn’t be here” he said quietly, his voice heavy with unspoken pain. "It’s not safe”. You frowned, taking a cautious step closer. "Not safe? Why?” Remus looked down at the ground, his jaw clenched tightly. "Because..I’m dangerous, Y/N. I’m not someone you should be around”. Your heart ached at his words, and you shook your head, refusing to believe them. "You’re not dangerous, Remus. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever known”. He laughed bitterly, his eyes hard as they finally met yours. "You don’t know what I am. What I’m capable of”, "I do know” you said firmly, stepping closer still. "I know about the full moons. I know what happens to you. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you”.

Remus flinched, his eyes widening in surprise. "You... you know?" You nodded, your heart racing. "I’ve known for a while. I just didn’t want to push you to tell me before you were ready”. He stared at you, his expression torn between disbelief and anguish. "And you’re not... you’re not afraid?" “Of course not" you whispered, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "I love you, Remus. That doesn’t change because of what you are”. The words hung in the air between you, raw and vulnerable. For a long moment, Remus didn’t move, his eyes searching yours as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Then, slowly, he let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I love you too” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can’t... I can’t do this to you”. You stepped closer, your heart aching at the pain in his voice. "Why not?" "Because of Sirius” Remus said, his eyes snapping open and locking onto yours. "Because he’s your brother, and I-“ His voice broke, the rawness in his eyes cutting through you like a blade. "I don’t want to betray him”.

His words hung heavy in the cool night air, a weight that threatened to crush you both. You had always known this moment would come, Remus’s deep sense of loyalty to Sirius was unwavering, just like your love for your brother. But this wasn’t just about Sirius. It was about you, too. It was about the way your heart raced every time you saw Remus, the way you felt when you were with him, like you were finally where you belonged. “Remus" you said softly, stepping closer to him. You could see the conflict tearing him apart, and it hurt more than you could have imagined. "You’re not betraying Sirius. This isn’t about him”. His jaw tightened, and he turned away from you, gripping the edge of the stone railing so hard that his knuckles turned white. "But it is about him” he muttered, his voice rough. "He’ll hate me for this. He’s always been so protective of you. He- he trusted me to look after you, not...not fall in love with you”. Your heart clenched at the anguish in his voice, and you took another step forward, until you were standing right beside him. You reached out, gently placing your hand on his arm. He stiffened but didn’t pull away, and that small mercy gave you the courage to continue. "Sirius loves me” you said quietly, your voice steady despite the storm raging in your chest. "But that doesn’t mean he gets to decide who I love. I know he’ll be upset, but he’ll get over it. He’ll have to”.

Remus let out a harsh breath, shaking his head. "You don’t know that, Y/N. You know how he is. He’ll lose his temper, he’ll-he’ll never forgive me”. A pang of fear shot through you, but you pushed it down. Sirius’s temper was infamous, and you knew he wouldn’t take the news well. But you also knew that his love for you ran deep, deeper than his anger ever could. “Sirius will always be my brother” you said softly. "And I’ll always love him. But I won’t let his protectiveness stand between me and the person I love. I won’t let him stand between us". Remus looked at you then, his eyes wide and filled with a mixture of hope and fear. His lips parted like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He seemed frozen, caught between the pull of his heart and the fear of losing his best friend.

You reached up and gently cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at you. His skin was warm beneath your fingertips, and the contact sent a shiver down your spine. "Remus, please” you whispered, your voice breaking. "Don’t pull away from me. I love you. And I know you love me too. Isn’t that enough?" For a moment, he said nothing, just stared at you with those haunted eyes, his breath coming in ragged bursts. Then, finally, his resolve cracked. His hand came up to cover yours, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut as if he was surrendering to the feelings he had been fighting for so long. “I’m so scared" he admitted, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper. "I’m scared of hurting you, of losing Sirius, of losing everything”. Your heart twisted at the vulnerability in his voice. You had always known Remus carried so much weight on his shoulders, more than anyone should ever have to. But now, you saw just how deeply that burden ran, how much he had been trying to protect you and everyone else by keeping his distance. “You won’t lose us” you promised, your voice trembling with emotion. "I won’t let that happen. Sirius will come around, and we’ll figure this out. But please, Remus, don’t push me away. I can’t bear it”.

He opened his eyes then, and the raw emotion in them took your breath away. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. You melted into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours as his hands slid up your back, holding you like he was afraid you might slip away. For a long moment, you stayed like that, clinging to each other in the quiet of the night, the tension slowly melting away. It felt right, like everything was falling into place after so long. When Remus finally pulled back, his hands still rested on your waist, and his eyes were softer now, though still clouded with concern. "I don’t know how to do this," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know how to love you and keep everyone safe at the same time”. “We’ll figure it out” you said, your voice filled with quiet determination. "Together”.

He smiled then, just a small, tentative smile, but it was enough. His thumb brushed gently against your cheek, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You’re too good for me” he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don’t deserve you”. You smiled through the tears that were now pricking at your eyes, shaking your head in return. "That’s not true, Remus. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else”. He hesitated for a moment longer, his gaze flickering down to your lips. And then, as if a dam had finally broken, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft, hesitant kiss.

The world seemed to stop spinning as your heart soared. His kiss was gentle, almost unsure, like he was still afraid to hurt you, but the love behind it was undeniable. You kissed him back, pouring every ounce of your feelings into that moment, every bit of longing and fear and hope. When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and you both stood there, breathing heavily, lost in each other. “I love you” he whispered again, the words filled with so much emotion it made your heart ache. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I love you”. Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you smiled through them, your heart swelling with so much love for him that you thought it might burst. "I love you too” you whispered back, your voice choked with emotion. "More than anything”. For the first time in what felt like forever, the fear that had been gnawing at your heart began to fade. There would be challenges ahead, no doubt. Sirius would be furious when he found out, and you would have to face that storm together. But standing there with Remus, in his arms, you knew that it was worth it. He was worth it. And together, you would find a way to make it work.

The next morning, you found yourself standing outside the Gryffindor common room, your heart racing as you prepared to tell Sirius the truth. Remus stood beside you, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back, a silent gesture of support. His presence gave you strength, even though you could see the tension in his eyes, the fear of what was about to come. “Are you ready?" he asked softly, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. You nodded, taking a deep breath. "I’m ready”. Together, you stepped forward, ready to face whatever came next.

-

Thank you for reading!!

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 28

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x dealer!Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, angst, cursing, mentions of death, mentions of murder, mention of guns, description of murder, description of shooting, description of dead body, arguments

The room felt suffocating after we watched the footage. It was as if all the air had been sucked out, leaving nothing but a heavy, oppressive silence. My hands were trembling, still resting on the keyboard where I’d paused the video. The image of Vince standing over Danny’s lifeless body was frozen on the screen, but it was seared into my mind.

I forced myself to breathe, in and out, but the weight in my chest wouldn’t ease. Turning to look at the others, I saw their reactions mirrored my own. Chris stood behind me, his face pale and his jaw clenched tight enough to crack. His eyes were glued to the screen, a storm of rage and disbelief swirling in their depths.

Willow sat on the edge of the couch, her head bowed and her hands clasped together like she was praying. She looked like she might be sick. Nate was the only one moving, pacing back and forth across the room like he was trying to outrun the images we’d just witnessed.

No one said anything for a long time. The silence was unbearable, but none of us seemed to know how to break it. Finally, I closed down the computer, shutting off the horrific scene but not the emotions that came with it.

“That bastard” Nate spat, stopping his pacing to glare at the now-blank screen. “He didn’t even hesitate.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “He-he just killed him. Like it was nothing.”

Chris turned away from the screen, rubbing a hand over his face.

Willow let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know how you guys deal with this. How you’ve been dealing with it. This is..this is so much worse than I thought.”

“It’s not just Danny” I said, my voice trembling but steadying with each word. “If we’ve seen this, imagine how much worse Vince has done that we don’t know about. You could’ve ended up like this too Chris. He’s dangerous, and if we don’t do something, he’ll keep getting away with it.”

Chris moved closer to me, his voice low. “I know this is a lot to take in, but you’re right. We can’t stop now. This is our chance to take him down.”

I looked at him, my chest tightening at the pain and determination in his expression. He was trying to be strong, but I could see the cracks forming beneath the surface.

“We need to talk about what happens next” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “For now, Chris, it’s not safe for you to leave this place. Vince has people everywhere, and if they see you, it’s game over. You have to stay here.”

Chris looked up at me, his jaw tightening. “You’re saying I just sit here while the rest of you go back and forth, putting yourselves at risk? I can’t-”

“You have to.” I interrupted firmly. “If Vince realizes you’re alive, all of this falls apart. He’ll come after you, and he won’t hesitate. You staying here isn’t just about your safety, it’s about giving us a chance to end this.”

Willow nodded in agreement. “Y/n’s right. This place is out of the way, and no one knows you’re here. It’s the safest option, for now.”

Chris exhaled. “And what about the rest of you?“

We’ll be careful” Nate said, his voice firm. “We’ll keep our heads down, do what we need to do, and get out. Besides..” He hesitated, his eyes narrowing in thought. “When the rest of the Crimson Cartel sees that footage, sees what Vince did to Danny, they’ll turn on him. You know how much Danny meant to everyone.”

Chris nodded slowly, his expression darkening. “None of the guys in the footage were part of Crimson. They weren’t our people. But Danny.” His voice broke slightly, and he looked away.

“Everyone loved him” I said softly, reaching for Chris’s hand. “When they find out Vince is behind his death, they won’t stand by him. They’ll turn.”

Chris finally nodded, his grip tightening on my hand. “Fine. I’ll stay. But promise me you’ll all be careful out there. I can’t-” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “I just can’t lose anyone else.”

“You won’t” I said firmly. “We’ve got this. We’re going to end this.”

Willow stood up, brushing off her hands. “Well, if that’s settled, I’m making a list of what we’ll need for the back and forth trips. Food, clothes, maybe even disguises for when we’re in Boston.”

Chris snorted softly, the faintest trace of a smile appearing. “Disguises? What, are we pulling a heist now?”

Willow smirked. “If the shoe fits.”

The mood lightened just a little, and for the first time in what felt like hours, I saw a hint of hope in Chris’s eyes. We weren’t out of the woods yet, but at least we had a plan. And as long as we stuck together, I believed we could see it through.

The first rays of sunlight started peeking through the curtains, and the exhaustion of the night finally caught up with all of us. Willow was the head to bed, stretching her arms over her head and muttering something about getting at least a couple of hours of sleep before her brain gave out.

“I think we all need it” I said, standing up. My legs felt like jelly, and my head pounded from the sheer amount of adrenaline coursing through me all night.

Willow and Nate had already disappeared into their rooms, leaving Chris and I standing in the dimly lit living room. I placed a hand on his arm. “You should sleep too. We’ll figure everything out in the morning, or, well, later today.”

He gave me a faint smile, brushing his thumb across my knuckles before heading toward our room.

Once he was gone, I set an alarm for 10am and followed him toward our room, flopping onto the bed. My body was begging for rest, but my mind raced with everything that lay ahead.

By now, I’d practically abandoned my college routine. The thought of catching up on my workload made my chest tighten with anxiety, but I clung to the hope that my professor would understand. Surely, with the information I had to share, he’d see why I’d been so preoccupied.

Before I could spiral too far, I made a mental note to ask Nate in the morning if he wanted to drive back to Boston with me.

I stared at the ceiling for a long moment before finally closing my eyes. The sun was almost fully risen now, casting a soft glow through the window, but for the first time in days, I let myself give in to the pull of sleep.

-

The buzz of my alarm startled me awake, yanking me from a restless sleep. For a moment, I stared at the ceiling, disoriented, until everything from the night before came rushing back. I groaned softly, rolling over to check my phone. It was already 10:15. I’d snoozed my alarm more times than I realized.

Dragging myself out of bed, I shuffled to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. The reflection in the mirror was a harsh reminder of the toll this week had taken, dark circles ringed my eyes, and my hair was a mess. I looked like I’d been through hell, and in a way, I had.

By the time I made my way into the kitchen, the smell of coffee greeted me. Nate was already there, leaning against the counter with a steaming mug in hand. He looked equally worn out, his usual energy dulled by the weight of the situation.

“Morning” he muttered, his voice rough.

“Morning” I replied, grabbing a mug and pouring myself a cup. The first sip was bliss, the caffeine slowly tricking my body into a false sense of alertness.

We stood in silence for a while, the events of the past 24 hours hanging heavily in the air. It was Nate who finally broke it. “What’s the plan today?”

“I need to head back to Boston” I said. “I left my laptop at home, and I have to figure out what to say to my professor. At this rate, I’ve probably fallen so far behind, but... I don’t know, maybe if I explain some of this, he’ll cut me some slack.”

“You think you’ll tell him everything?” Nate asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Not everything,” I said quickly. “Just enough to make it clear that I’ve been dealing with something serious. I’ll frame it around the legal side of things, like how I’m trying to help someone navigate.. a dangerous situation.”

Nate nodded, considering my words. “I’ll drive you back” he offered.

“You sure? You’ve barely slept.”

“So have you” he countered. “Besides, it’s better if we stick together for now. You don’t need to be traveling alone, not with everything that’s going on.”

I gave him a small, grateful smile. “Thanks.”

As we got ready to leave, I grabbed my burner phone from the counter and hesitated. “I think I’ll leave this here” I said, placing it back down. “I don’t want to risk bringing it into the city.”

“Smart move” Nate said, already heading for the door. I made sure I had the USB in my pocket and followed him out.

The drive back to Boston started in silence, both of us too drained to muster small talk. I stared out the window, watching the trees blur into the cityscape as we approached the familiar streets. The normalcy of it all felt jarring. How could everything look so unchanged when my entire world had been flipped upside down?

“You doing okay?” Nate asked, his voice breaking through my thoughts.

I turned to him, offering a faint smile. “Define ‘okay.’”

He smirked faintly, his eyes still on the road. “Fair point.”

“Thanks for driving me” I said after a beat. 

“Don’t mention it” he said. “You’ve been holding up pretty damn well through all this, you know.”

I let out a dry laugh. “If by ‘holding up,’ you mean barely keeping it together, then sure.”

Nate glanced at me briefly, a rare softness in his expression. “You’re tougher than you think. Not many people would have stuck around, let alone tried to help us the way you have.”

The unexpected compliment made my cheeks warm. “Thanks, Nate. That means a lot coming from you.”

When we finally pulled up to my house, I felt a strange mix of relief and unease. It had only been over 12 hours since I’d been home, and stepping out of the car felt surreal, like I was returning to a life that no longer fit.

“I’ll check in with my professor and try get a meeting with him today” I told Nate as I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Do you want to meet me back here at 5pm?”

“Yeah” he said with a nod. “We can head back then.”

“Alright. Stay safe, okay?”

“You too.”

I watched him drive off before turning to face the front door of my house. Taking a deep breath, I stepped inside. I made my way to the kitchen, where my normal phone sat abandoned on the counter. Picking it up, I unlocked the screen, only to be met with a flurry of missed notifications. Emails, texts, and calendar reminders from college flooded my home screen, each one a stark reminder of how much I’d let slip through the cracks.

Ignoring the overwhelming wave of responsibility, I opened Google and searched for my professor's office phone number. Professor Hawkins was one of the few people I trusted, someone who had always been approachable and understanding. If anyone could offer guidance without prying too much, it was him.

I hesitated for a moment, my thumb hovering over his office number. What would I even say? How could I explain everything without giving too much away?

Taking a deep breath, I tapped the number and held the phone to my ear. It rang twice before a familiar, warm voice answered.

“Professor Hawkins speaking.”

“Hi, Professor. It’s Y/n Y/l/n..” I said, trying to steady my voice.

“Y/n! I was wondering when I’d hear from you. You’ve been absent from class for over a week, is everything alright?”

“Sort of..” I said, my words faltering. “I’ve been dealing with.. a complicated situation. I was hoping I could meet with you to explain and maybe get some guidance on how to move forward. It’s related to my studies, well, partly, but it’s also personal.”

There was a pause on the other end, and I held my breath, worried he might dismiss me outright.

“Of course” he said finally. “I have some time this afternoon. Would 2pm work for you?”

Relief flooded through me. “Yes, that’s perfect. Thank you so much professor.”

“Not a problem, Y/n. I’ll see you in my office at 2.”

As I hung up, I leaned against the counter, exhaling deeply. This was a step forward, a small one, but forward nonetheless.

I grabbed my laptop from my desk and slipped it into my bag along with a notebook. My 

After double checking that I had everything I needed, I locked up the house and headed to campus.

Chris’s POV

The morning light seeped through the thin curtains of the Airbnb, casting a golden hue across the room, I sat up, rubbing my face to shake off the remnants of sleep. My mind was still clouded by the events of last night. But now, there was an absence I couldn’t ignore. Y/n wasn’t next to me. I got up and made my way to the living room.

“Morning” Willow’s voice broke the silence as she stepped into the room, a mug of coffee in hand. She was already dressed, looking far more put together than I felt.

“Morning? It’s 2pm..” I muttered, glancing toward the hallway. “Where’s Y/n? And Nate?”

“They left early. Y/n needed to take care of some things back in Boston, and Nate’s her chauffeur for the day.” She smirked, taking a seat in one of the armchairs.

I frowned, the thought of Y/n leaving without a word twisting in my chest. “Did she say anything before she left?”

“Something about needing to talk to her professor” Willow said, waving her hand dismissively. “Relax, she’ll be back. You’re not gonna lose her, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

I huffed, leaning back against the couch. 

Anyway, how’re you holding up after last night?”

I glanced at her, debating how honest I wanted to be. “It’s a lot. Seeing that footage, knowing what Vince did.. it just makes me feel like...” I trailed off, shaking my head. “I don’t even know what I feel. Anger? Guilt? Fear? All of it, I guess.”

Willow nodded, sipping her coffee. “Yeah, it’s a lot to process. You’re not the only one who’s scared, though. We all are.”

I tilted my head, studying her. “How’d you and Nate not lose your minds waiting for the cops to clear last night? Four hours is a hell of a long time to sit in a car.”

Her lips curved into a sly smile. “Oh, we found ways to pass the time.”

I blinked, the suggestive tone in her voice catching me off guard. “Wait a second.. Are you saying-”

Willow cut me off with a laugh. “I’m not saying anything. But, hypothetically, if I were, it’s none of your business, Chris.”

I smirked, leaning forward. “You like him, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it. “Nate’s.. different. He’s got this rough exterior, but underneath all that, he’s a good guy. And, well, spending hours in close quarters tends to make you notice things.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Who would’ve thought? You and Nate.”

Willow shrugged, setting her mug down. “Enough about me. What about you? You’ve been glued to Y/n ever since this whole mess started. It’s pretty obvious you’re head over heels for her.”

“Yeah, I love her. I’m not gonna deny that.”

Willow’s gaze softened. “It’s more than that, though, isn’t it?”

I nodded, exhaling slowly. “I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I know that sounds crazy, especially with everything going on, but it’s the truth. She’s the one, Willow. And I want to make that clear, not just now, but when this is all over.”

Willow smiled, her expression unexpectedly kind. “You’re a good guy, Chris. And she knows it. She wouldn’t be here, sticking by you through all this, if she didn’t feel the same way.”

Her words hit me harder than I expected, filling me with a mix of hope and determination. “Thanks” I said, my voice quieter.

“Don’t thank me yet” Willow teased, standing up. “Just don’t screw it up, alright?”

I chuckled, the tension in my chest easing slightly. “I’ll do my best.”

“I’m bored without social media.. Want to make burner Instagram accounts?” Willow suggests.

Y/n’s POV

By the time I arrived on campus, my stomach was in knots. This wasn’t just about legal theory or hypotheticals. This was real, messy and dangerous. I smoothed my blazer, took a deep breath, and knocked twice.

“Come in” his deep voice called.

I stepped inside, my hands gripping the strap of my bag. Professor Hawkins was at his desk, glasses perched on his nose as he reviewed a thick stack of papers. He looked up, and his sharp, analytical gaze met mine.

“Miss Y/l/n” he said, gesturing for me to sit. “It’s nice to see you! I was beginning to think you’d dropped out of my class.”

“I know, I’m sorry..” I admitted, lowering myself into the chair. “I’ve had some personal matters to deal with, but I’m here because I need your guidance.”

His brow furrowed, but he didn’t interrupt.

“There’s a situation I’ve gotten involved in, a dangerous one” I began carefully. “It’s about a criminal operation in Boston. I have evidence, but I’m scared to go to the police because it could put me and the people I care about in danger.”

At that, his expression sharpened, and he leaned forward. “Go on.”

“It’s about Vince Moretti..” I said, watching for a reaction. His eyes narrowed slightly, and I knew I had his attention.

“Moretti” he echoed, his tone measured. “I’ve been looking for a way to dismantle his operation for years. The drug feud in Boston is destroying lives, but no one talks. Everyone is either too scared or too loyal to open up. If you have evidence, Miss Y/l/n, you might have what we need to take him down.”

Hearing that sent a chill through me. “I have video footage of Moretti committing murder..” I said quietly. “But I need to do this in a way that keeps me out of it. The people I care about, they’re already too close to all of this.”

Hawkins studied me for a moment before nodding. “There was a raid at the docks last night, but my contacts in law enforcement have been quiet, which means they don’t know exactly who it's linked to or they’re keeping what they did find under wraps. If you have something concrete, it needs to stay quiet. The last thing you want is for Moretti to catch wind of it before law enforcement can act.”

“I understand” I said. “This evidence could be the turning point, but I can’t afford for it to lead back to me. Can you help?”

I paused, suddenly realizing how much trust I was putting in Hawkins by sharing this information. I couldn’t afford to make a mistake, not with so much on the line. My hand instinctively went to my bag, and I pulled out the small, nondescript USB drive.

“I.. I have the footage with me” I said, my voice steady despite the knot tightening in my stomach. “It’s all on here. What happened with Vince and Danny.. the moment Vince killed him.”

Hawkins raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable. He didn’t seem surprised, though his gaze flicked briefly to the USB in my hand. He held out his hand, and I hesitated for a moment before passing it to him.

He examined the drive, turning it over in his fingers as if weighing the decision on what to do next. “You’re sure this footage is unaltered? No editing or manipulation?”

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “It’s untouched. I’ve kept it safe.”

Hawkins didn’t say anything for a moment. He seemed to be processing, considering what he was about to dive into. Finally, he spoke.

“Alright. I’ll take a look at it. But you understand this is a delicate situation. If this footage confirms what you say, then we’re dealing with a murder, and Moretti won’t let it slide easily. His influence is far reaching, and the moment this gets out.. it won’t just be you at risk.”

“I know” I said quietly. “But I can’t just sit back anymore. This needs to be dealt with, and I need to know I did everything I could to stop him. For my own peace of mind, and for the people I care about.”

He nodded, his eyes softening just a fraction. “I get it. I’ll keep this in safe hands. But you need to prepare yourself. There’s no going back once this is in motion.”

“I’m ready” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I truly was.

Hawkins gave me a sharp nod before getting up and walking to his desk, plugging the USB into his computer. As the screen came alive with the footage, I stood frozen, feeling the weight of what was to come. My heart beat louder in my chest, knowing that once the truth was revealed, there would be no turning back.

After a few moments, Hawkins turned to face me. “This is solid. You’ve done well to get this footage. But now the hard part begins.”

“I know” I whispered, my stomach twisting.

Hawkins leaned back in his chair, fingers tapping lightly on the desk as he thought. After a long silence, he looked at me, his expression serious.

“You know, Y/n..” he said, voice low but steady, “There’s a way we can handle this without you directly being involved. If we go about it anonymously, if we can release this evidence to the right people without your name attached, then the state can take it from there. We get the authorities involved, and it’s their job to pursue it, not yours.”

I blinked, my mind spinning at the possibility. "You mean.. you think we could turn this over without anyone finding out it was me who gave them the footage?"

“Exactly” Hawkins confirmed, leaning forward, his gaze unwavering. “If we can make sure no one knows where this evidence came from, if we keep your identity out of it entirely, then the state can arrest Vince without putting you or your loved ones at risk. You won’t be the one in the line of fire.”

I let out a breath, feeling a sliver of relief. The weight of what he was offering began to sink in. I’d been terrified, every day, that my involvement would make me a target, or worse, put Chris, Nate, and Willow in harm's way too. The thought of remaining anonymous, of not having to watch my every step, was a relief. But at the same time, it felt like I was still hiding from the truth.

“So, how would we even get this to the right people without anyone knowing?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around the logistics of it all.

Hawkins raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed by my willingness to question the plan. “There’s a network. I have a few connections in law enforcement who are more than willing to work discreetly. We can get the footage into the hands of the right people who’ll work behind the scenes to make sure Vince is arrested, while keeping everything under wraps. But you need to understand, once this is out there, it can’t be retracted. If it leaks or anyone catches wind of who helped, it could undo everything.”

I nodded slowly, processing the risk. It seemed like the perfect solution. It would protect me, Chris, and everyone else involved, while still putting Vince away.

“I understand” I said, feeling the weight of his words. “But how do we make sure it goes through? How do we ensure that it doesn’t get buried or lost in the system?”

Hawkins smiled faintly, though his eyes remained sharp. “That’s where I come in. I’ll make sure it gets to the right people, the ones who are beyond Vince’s reach. But you need to trust me on this. If you want to keep this as clean and anonymous as possible, you can’t be involved directly from here on out. It’s going to take time, and it’s going to require patience, but in the end, it’ll be worth it.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling in. If I did this, if I let Hawkins handle it from here,I would be taking the risk of putting everything in his hands. But at the same time, it was the only way I could be sure that the right thing was done, without endangering myself or the people I loved.

“You have my trust” I said quietly. “I’ll let you handle it. I just want Vince gone. I want him out of our lives.”

Hawkins nodded, his expression firm. “I’ll do everything I can to make that happen. I’ll get the ball rolling right away. But remember, you can’t talk about this to anyone. Not even your closest friends. The less you say, the safer you’ll be.”

“I get it” I whispered, my heart racing. “Thank you, Professor Hawkins. I don’t know what else to say. Just.. please make sure this works.”

“I will” he said, voice steady and confident. “Now go. I’ll handle the rest from here.”

I left his office with a heavy heart but a renewed sense of hope. This was the right move, the only way to stop Vince without risking everything. I finally felt like I could breathe, if only for a moment. The end was in sight.

–

By 5pm, I was standing at the window, waiting for Nate to arrive. The sound of a car pulling into my driveway snapped me out of my thoughts, knowing we were about to head back into the chaos once again.

I grabbed my things and stepped outside, walking toward the car quickly before getting in.

"Did you get to talk to your professor?" Nate asked, his expression a little more serious than usual, probably from everything that had gone down recently.

"Yeah" I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "But I got a call from him again about thirty minutes ago. The police have the footage now, but.. Vince is nowhere to be found since the raid last night. They can trace everything back to him, but without him in custody, it's like a waiting game."

Nate's expression shifted, brows furrowing. "That’s.. not good. So, they’ve got everything, but no Vince?"

"Exactly" I replied. 

Nate’s grip on the wheel tightened, and his jaw set as he drove. "This isn’t good" he muttered under his breath, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror as if expecting someone to be following. "The whole point of getting this footage was to put the pressure on Vince, but if he’s nowhere to be found.." He trailed off, frustration clear in his voice.

I could see the wheels turning in his mind. He was never one to be idle when something was wrong, and the thought of Vince slipping through their fingers was eating away at him.

"Maybe he’s hiding" I suggested, though it didn’t feel like much of an answer. "He’s got resources, people who could help him disappear, but they're probably piecing things together, hoping someone will slip up, reveal his whereabouts, but right now.. it’s just a matter of time. Professor Hawkins said once there’s an arrest, it’ll be all over the news" I added, my voice laced with uncertainty. 

"Yeah, I know" Nate growled. "But it’s not just that. He’s smart enough to keep a low profile. If the cops can’t find him now, it means he’s pulling strings, keeping his head down, and the longer he does that, the longer it’ll be before he’s found. It’s like we’re chasing a shadow."

Nate stayed silent for a while, focusing on the road. "I just don’t know how much longer we can wait for that. We need him caught now. If we wait too long, everything’s going to fall apart." His words were sharp, frustration lacing each word.

"Well.." I said, trying to keep my voice steady, "the cops are looking. They’re not going to stop just because Vince’s gone to ground. We need to trust that they’ll catch up with him. We’ve done everything we can. And we need to make sure we just lay low now."

When we finally pulled into the driveway of the Airbnb, stepped out of the car, still processing everything that had happened with Professor Hawkins, and headed toward the front door, Nate trailing closely behind me.

As we walked inside, the soft murmur of voices filled the air. Willow was in the kitchen, scrolling on her burner and Chris was lounging on the couch, his expression neutral but tired. When he saw us, he sat up straighter, his eyes immediately locking on mine.

"How did things go?" he asked, his voice low, his gaze flickering between me and Nate.

I nodded, taking a seat at the table. "We’ve got good news and bad news" I started, trying to keep my voice steady. "The footage is in the right hands, and Vince can be linked to everything, but.. he’s gone."

"Yeah" Nate added, rubbing the back of his neck. "The police can’t find him, and he’s laying low since the raid. No one knows where he is. They can’t even get close to him right now."

Willow frowned, putting down the papers she was holding. "That’s not great" she said quietly, crossing her arms over her chest. "But at least we’re making progress, right?"

"Not enough" Nate replied, his frustration clear. "We don’t have time to wait around for Vince to come out of hiding" Nate muttered. "We need to do more. We need him behind bars sooner, not later."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "The police have the footage. There’s nothing more we can do right now. We just have to be patient."

He let out an exasperated breath, pacing around the living room. "Patient? Patience isn’t going to get him behind bars! He’s slipping through the cracks, and we're just standing here, waiting for him to screw us over again."

"I know you're angry" I said, trying to keep my voice calm, "but there’s nothing we can do to force their hand right now. If we make any noise, it'll mess everything up. The best thing we can do is stay silent and let the police handle it."

Nate stopped pacing and glared at me. "Stay silent? We’ve been silent this whole time, Y/n!"

I could hear the frustration in his voice, and I understood. We’d all been waiting for something, anything to happen. But rushing things now would only make it worse.

"We're not doing nothing" I said, my tone softer but firm. "We’ve done everything we can. We got the footage, we tipped the cops off, and now it’s in their hands. Vince is running out of options. He’ll slip up. He has to."

Nate crossed his arms over his chest, still scowling “I’m going to bed.” Shaking his head as he made his way down the hallway toward one of the bedrooms. I could tell he was still seething with anger, unable to let go of the frustration that had built up. I didn’t blame him, but for now, we all needed a break.

Willow and I plopped down on the couch next to Chris, flipping through TV channels to put a news channel on, in case any news broke. The silence between us was tense, each of us processing everything in our own way. Every update on the news made my stomach twist tighter. No word on Vince yet. But we kept watching, hoping for some shift that would give us more clarity.

Willow shifted beside me. "You know" she said, breaking the silence, "Chris and I set up burner Instagram accounts today while you were talking to Hawkins."

I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "You did?"

She nodded, her lips quirking into a smile. "Yeah. I thought it might be useful, you know, staying low key while we keep track of things. Still having some sense of normality."

"Good thinking" I said, reaching for my phone. "Guess I’ll set one up too then."

We sat there, the murmurs of the TV in the background, as Chris and Willow helped me create a burner account. It didn’t take long, and soon enough, I was scrolling through random pages, looking at reels.

Time seemed to stretch on as we sat there, clicking through posts, our minds occupied with the task but constantly flicking back to the news, half expecting to see something break. The quiet ticking of the clock felt like it was counting down to something, but we had no idea what.

After about an hour, the silence in the room was finally broken by Chris. He leaned forward, his eyes glued to his phone screen, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Theres no fucking way" Chris muttered under his breath. His voice was a mix of disbelief and anger.

Willow and I exchanged a glance, both leaning in, asking in unison, "What’s wrong?"

Chris's fingers moved rapidly across the screen as he scrolled through, shaking his head in frustration. "I was being nosey" he said, his voice tight. "I was checking out one of the H Block guys’ pages. They-"

His words were cut off as he turned the screen toward us, and my heart dropped into my stomach. There it was. The footage.

The grainy, shaky camera work was unmistakable, the same one we'd watched hours ago on that USB, only now it was out there in the world. The caption above it was a slap to the face: "Crimson scum, killing your own 🐀"

My breath hitched in my chest, and I felt Willow’s eyes on me as my stomach twisted. I felt sick, my hands trembling as I reached for the phone to get a closer look. But even before I could process it all, my mind was racing. This could change everything.

"Shit" Willow breathed, leaning back into the couch. "This is bad. This is really bad."

Chris exhaled sharply, his eyes dark with anger and disbelief. "Yeah. And it's all over Instagram now.”

"How did they get this?" I whispered, the question more to myself than anyone else.

The tension in the room was palpable, thick with the weight of the unspoken truth. Chris jumped up from the couch, his legs moving before his mind fully caught up with the frustration building inside him. "No" he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as if to convince himself that this wasn’t real. "There’s no fucking way..."

But as soon as he moved toward the hall, the door to one of the bedrooms creaked open, and there stood Nate, leaning against the doorframe. He was holding his phone, his expression unreadable as he watched Chris’s every move. The moment their eyes locked, I felt the air get even heavier. Something was about to snap.

Chris’s voice was low, simmering with anger. "You fucking leaked it, didn’t you?" he demanded, his gaze hard as steel.

Nate didn't flinch. He just stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, staring at Chris with a mixture of defiance and coldness.

“I did what I had to do" Nate said through clenched teeth, his voice low and almost challenging. "You think I’m just gonna sit here while Vince gets away with everything? While Danny’s gone? I had to do something."

Chris shook his head, pacing in frustration. "You think that’s the way to fix things? You put everything at risk. Everything we've been working toward. Y/n told you to stay quiet, and you fucking ignored her." He stopped, turning to face Nate with a look of disbelief. "You could have trusted us, man. We could’ve handled this the right way."

Nate’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. "The right way? There is no ‘right way’ when it comes to this shit, Chris. I didn’t make this mess, but I’ll be damned if I sit around waiting for Vince to tear apart everything we’ve been working for. Crimson’s not just gonna sit on their hands, pretending like everything’s fine. They needed to know-"

"That’s not how you do it!" Chris interrupted, his voice rising. "You don’t just act on impulse, you don’t just go and leak shit to a rival gang, especially not with the people we care about in danger. What if someone tracks it back to us? What if this blows up in our faces?"

"Then so be it" Nate shot back, his voice colder now. "I don’t care anymore. I just want Vince to pay for what he did. I want him gone." He hesitated, his gaze flickering to me and Willow on the couch. "I had to make a move. So I sent it to H Block. They don’t know it was me, but they’re gonna spread it around, and then Crimson won’t have any choice but to turn on Vince. They’ll start talking, and then he’ll be the one running, not us."

Willow shifted beside me, her eyes wide as she watched the back and forth between the two. Chris’s face was flushed with anger, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He was trying to stay calm, but the frustration was evident.

"You’re out of your fucking mind, Nate" Chris spat, his voice barely containing the fury he was feeling. "What the hell made you think that was the right call? You really don’t get it, do you? We were trying to handle this quietly, trying to get Vince without anyone else getting hurt. And you go and throw all that out the window. Just like that."

Nate didn’t flinch. "And if I hadn’t done it? Vince would still be out there, laughing at us, thinking he can do whatever he wants. You really think I was just gonna sit back and watch that happen? Watch people we care about get hurt while I did nothing?"

The two of them were standing there, inches apart now, the tension thick enough to choke the air around us. I could see both of them on the verge of snapping, both holding on to their frustrations in the same clenched fists. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, the sound of a breaking news report cut through the silence, pulling all of our attention to the TV in the corner of the room.

"Breaking news from Boston." the anchor's voice rang out. "Authorities have confirmed that a known leader of one of Boston's major drug gangs has been arrested, on the outskirts of Massachusetts. The arrest comes following the discovery of shocking footage implicating him in a recent murder of a close affiliate related to the feud. The footage comes a day after a raid near the docks late last night, which is now being linked back to this gang."

The words hung in the air and for a split second, it felt like the room itself froze. My heart started to race as the news anchor continued. A mixture of panic and relief.

“Wow, maybe that is how you do it” Willow whispers under her breath, only loud enough for me to hear.

Chris’s voice broke prominent silence, shaky but determined. "He’s gone. This is it."

Nate, still standing with his arms crossed, didn’t respond right away. His eyes were glued to the screen, his expression unreadable. "Yeah" he muttered, his voice barely a whisper. "It’s done. Vince is done."

But despite the relief that seemed to come with hearing about Vince’s arrest, it was clear from Nate’s tone that it didn’t feel like a victory, not yet. 

Chris and Nate made their way back to the couch. We all sat there, glued to the screen, waiting for any further details. 

I knew this wasn’t over yet, but at least it was a start.

a/n: 2 more parts

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons @mattsside @riasturns @sturnslutz @chrisstxrnsaxe @2prcntmilkluvr @trevorsgodmother @anonymouslyachrisgirl

[milestonekestrel]

STILL WAKES THE DEEPERS COME GET YOUR DINNER!!!

[BODY HORROR AND FLASHING WARNING]

Thoughts under the cut (it gets lengthy)!

So.. we´re finally here huh? Took me a little over a week, but its done at last!

I´ll be honest, the idea first came to me when I listened to the song. I was brainrotting so bad on Still Wakes the Deep, I think I could´ve twisted anything into being about it haha. But this song actually fits it super well. ¨You lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane.¨ fits especially well with Caz, as everything that sort of grounds him on the rig during the shape infestation, the things that make him feel sane (mostly his friends) are all things he loses. In many cases, right in front of him. He also loses his family, as he realizes hes never going to get back to them, and, at the end, he loses himself too.

I tried to draw Caz´s hair progressively worse as his mental and physical state do. At his very best, particularly in the flashbacks at the end, his hair is shaped very specifically. But the more he goes through, the worse it gets, until at the very end where its just a tangled mess. Also his emotions, obviously towards the end he is still super emotional and stuff but I had hoped to sort of make it more...subdued? Maybe that´s not the right word, but he´s been through so much that his reactions aren´t as big to things, he doesn´t quite have the enough energy. He still Goes Through It with Finlay, but after that he´s giving you a constant 5000 yard stare. The, ¨I just watched every single one of my closest friends die in front of me¨ look.¨

Even when he gets to the derrick, he can only stare at the shape abyss.

He´s also in terrible physical condition and I tried to illustrate that with the scene of him standing up after Finlay dies. He is literally on his last legs, he is so, so tired.

also!! three flashy sequences in very quick succession at the end! do you know why? because Caz starts to See. The first, after Brodie dies, is a bunch of unique images about Caz. The people, things, and parts of himself that he is losing or has lost. Accompanied by other things, parts of himself, his life, etc.

There´s also these two images of Muir and Innes that I love very much.

The second one happens as he holds the lighter above the oil abyss! This ones just people he lost. And the third is everything that happened in the pmv flashing before his eyes. Because it is Quite a journey he has been on.

But you know why these flash? because Caz realizes that every step he is taking is one step closer to his death. Because he realizes that he is never going to get off the rig. because he realizes that he is going to die here. So hes thinking about Everything. His life, his family, friends, the horrors he went through, the things he lost and the things he will never, ever get back.

He also hallucinates Suze a lot in the pmv, but unlike in the game its not flashback sequences and she is not normal Suze. Until the end, when he´s reflecting on his life, its Suze With Tendrils!! Shape infected wife!!

and then at the end, she becomes more normal. Because he is flashing through the events of his life. also because he misses her, but he knows that by doing what he is doing, Shape Suze will never, ever exist. She will be safe.

I had a fun time drawing all the scenes in the pmv, but a select few are my favorite.

For example: The Beira D Bookends!

At the beginning and the end of the pmv, you get a full shot of the Beira D!

I like these scenes because I love having secret things like this. The bookends,,, ough do u guys get it they´re bookends... The Beira D is where it all takes place, in the game, and in the pmv. It is the first and last thing you see as Caz, and the first and last thing he sees in the 24 hours this takes place in. It is a very significant location, which is why it bookends the pmv.

Addair and Caz at the Stack:

Getting to animate this whole sequence was a blast. It´s my absolute favorite part of the game! Followed closely by the ending, but still my most favorite. I just think its a really cool part of the game, and it plays a lot into my Addair headcanons so!!! pretty sick!!

Caz´s Memories:

After he drops the lighter, Caz and his family are shown again. You can see him and Suze reconnecting (as well as the fact that I yoinked @inky-ash´s headcanon about them meeting up after he got punched in the face). He also plays with a young Cait. and drawing the hug between them just about made my eyes misty, because he really loves his family,,,, auuuughh,,,

also. the wedding photo.

I didnt really try with their outfits honestly, but I still really love how this came out. the wedding photo means so much to me...

The Lighter:

a little extra bit about the lighter. I drew when it was handed to Finlay, and when she handed it back to Caz. There´s no real scene parellells between these scenes, but I do really love them, and the whole fact that the Lighter was originally given to Finlay before she gave it back to Caz.

The Scene That Is Most Definitely Not A Reference:

Just kidding. it is.

The pose and composition is indeed a self-indulgent reference to the first artwork I made of Still Wakes The Deep!

Sinking:

The first time you see Caz in the pmv? He´s unconscious in the ocean, and sinking.

and the last time you see him? Unconcious, in an ocean, and sinking.

boy I sure do love parallels and things.

The Helmet:

at the very end, his helmet appears in the waves, before sinking below the surface. This is another self-indulgent little detail that serves as a nod to my headcanon!

I also just generally enjoyed drawing Caz and his facial expressions. That man means so much to me, so it was awesome to draw him so much!

also, I think its funny you can tell exactly when I figured out what the Cadal logo looks like, or that there even was a logo on the uniforms.

If you watched the pmv, or read this far, thank you so much!! This game means so much to me, and I´m so glad I could make this pmv. I love all the support this fandom has given me so far, so thank you! Thank you so much! Couldn´t have done this without such an awesome fandom <333

[storm-angel989]

Don’t try to force yourself to make content, okay? Self care is way more important than putting stuff out, even if it makes others happy! Us fans will gladly wait until you’re mentally and emotionally ready!😉 Also drink water and eat real food, not just snacks!!!

Hi Friend,

Thank you so, so much for your kind words- I read your message as soon as it popped into my inbox and I did exactly as you said <3 I took the weekend, had some real food, rode a few horses and all of the sudden, a story I've been working on clicked (and I wrote a few more!)

As with all things, I expect it to ebb and flow but I appreciate everyones love, care a support more than words can express! Please enjoy below story and thank you again so so much for your love and patience!

<3 Mandy

Angel recognized the sound, and apparently Valentino did too. 

The noise in itself was a concern. But it was Valentino’s reaction to it that interested Angel the most. In the middle of what was supposed to be an important shoot, Angel watched Valentino rush off down the darkened hallway only to reappear moments later with a look on his face Angel couldn’t quite distinguish. Softness, maybe? Whatever it was, it disappeared the moment Valentino sat back down.

“Angel, what the fuck are you doing?” Valentino snarled as he raked his glowing eyes over the set. “Lay down and read the fucking lines.” 

As with all things, Angel obeyed. 

Now, as Angel stood in the entryway to his dressing room, that same noise from the week prior floated down from the hallway. Soft, childlike giggles in an empty studio. A sense of unease washed over Angel.  As abusive as Valentino was, he still had boundaries- and allowing kids in his studio was a hard one. Surely, Angel had to be hearing things. Maybe an actor or actress with a childlike voice. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. If there was, in fact, a kid running around in here it would be easy to get lost. Hell, sometimes he even found himself turned around and he had spent years here. 

Hesitantly, Angel walked down the familiar labyrinth of halls and rooms. 

“Hello?” he called out softly. 

Silence answered him.

“I have gotta stop drinkin before shoots,” he muttered to himself as he turned away.

“Papi?” A girlish voice came from behind him. “Papi!” 

Angel jumped and whirled around as tiny arms grabbed at his waist. Blonde hair, blue eyes, human like- Angel couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He opened his mouth to ask her who she was, but she began before he could get a word in.

“You’re not Daddy. You’re a stranger,” the child shouted as she jerked away from him. “I want Daddy.” 

Angel bit back his surprise. “Does..does your Daddy have a name?”

“Daddy.” 

Of course. Typical kid answer. Angel wracked his brain as memories flooded through. Images of his own baby sister, from his human life, floated through. Painful reminders of a distant past he tried to keep pushed down. With a deep breath, he knelt down to her level. 

“Okay kid, what does your daddy look like?”

“Daddy is tall. And he wears heart shaped glasses. And a big cozy red coat. But only when he goes to work. And I think this is Daddy’s work.” She answered confidently.

Angel felt his stomach drop. Val had a kid? Fuck, Val had a daughter? Shit. What should he do now? If he brought her back to Valentino, would he get punished? Forced to work extra hours for daring to find out his secret? But as he looked at the little girl, the sinking feeling grew sharper. He couldn’t leave her here. It wasn’t safe. And if he tried to send her back to where she came from, she’d probably end up lost- or worse. Seeing no other option, Angel took a deep breath.

“Come with me then, kid I’ll take you to yer dad. You got a name?” He offered her his hand. 

To his surprise, the little girl took it and walked next to him. “Reader. What’s yours?”

“Angel,” he replied as he focused on the hallway ahead. The feeling of her small hand in his, the familiarity of a tiny voice, a little human by his side. Flashes of his own past, his human life. Painful fragments that shattered through his mind like glass shards. He tried to swallow them back with each step they took towards Valentino’s office. 

“Daddy!” 

The little girl’s yell jerked Angel back to attention. He let go of her hand as she raced across the empty studio and to his shock, she jumped into Valentino’s arms. Angel watched as the overlord of lust and depravity wrapped the little girl up and kissed her on the forehead. 

“Bebita princessa, where were you? You have your Uncle Vox all worried!” Valentino scolded in a voice Angel had never heard him use before. 

“You promised Daddy! You promised a piggy back ride and you left!” She shrieked in response as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You promised!” 

Angel thought for sure Valentino would hit her. Or at the very least, scold her the same way he did his employees. Instead, he watched Valetnino’s expression soften. 

“I know mi amore, I’m sorry,” he told her, “but you have to go up to Uncle Vox now, Papi has to work. Later tonight, I promise.” 

Suddenly, as if he instantly became aware Angel was watching, he jerked his head up. Their eyes met and Angel couldn’t read the expression on Valentino’s face. Anger? Appreciation? 

“So, uh, you have a kid?” Angel asked as he crossed his arms. “I, uh, found her in the back. Down the hallway. She was lookin for ya.” 

Valentino’s expression changed to one Angel knew inherently well. Cold, merciless impassion. 

“If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you,” he stated. “Don’t think I won’t.” 

That, Angel didn’t doubt. He opened his mouth to promise he wouldn’t, but before he could get a word in, Reader’s voice floated through the empty room. 

“Daddy? What’s fucking mean?” 

Angel watched as Valentino’s expression went from cold to…unsure? Uneasy? Angel couldn’t tell. 

“I, uh, don’t worry about it baby, it’s,” Valentino stammered.

“An adult word. Only adults can use it,” Angel answered quickly. 

To Angel’s surprise, Valentino looked relieved at his explanation. The ping of the elevator and Valentino turned away. 

“Angel. Don’t be here when I get back.” Valentino said sharply. “I’ll call you when I need you again.”

“Does that mean I get the night off?” Angel called to the retreating figure. 

No answer. Angel shrugged and back in his dressing room, he pulled on his jacket. Might as well spend the rest of the night at the hotel. After all, Fat Nuggets could use a little extra attention.

[sykestarot]

angel messages

1-2-3

I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES

hi guys i felt called to do an angel message this week and it was so many uplifting messages and I hope you guys feel the support I channeled. remember to like and reblog! thanks for stopping by!

Pile 1

“i’ll keep your, keep your best interest” (7 of wands (rx); 3 of wands (rx); 6 of pentacles (rx); 10 of cups; 7 of wands; The Moon (rx)) Hi pile 1! I hope you guys are doing well! For you guys I feel like the angel message is take time to focus. I had a really hard time focusing or even starting your reading. So maybe you guys are trying to escape reality and not face the real issues in your life. Which is totally understandable, sometimes life is really hard and we just need to escape. However I feel like your angels are trying to tell you that you have been escaping too much recently. I feel like you are running away from your emotions or something that happened in your life that is bringing up big emotions for you. Maybe you are considered the strong one in your family and you feel like you can’t face your emotions because so many people are relying on you. This energy reminds me of when Kim K was talking to Kris about Kanye and she said “for once can everyone else have their shit together so I can have a bad day?” I feel like that’s how you feel and you don’t allow yourself the space to feel your emotions and when you do feel emotions it’s a huge reaction to a small thing because you bottle it up. Your angels want you to know that they see and acknowledge your pain and even when you feel alone you are not. They are always with you and just want the best for you, always. They know you need to cry and lose it, they’re saying that even of you have to let it out alone in a parking lot that that’s okay too. Some of you might benefit from seeking out professional help but you can decide that on your own based on your own circumstances. Your angels want you to know that even though they are not there physically you can always speak to them. They are always listening to you and will help you from the other side as best as they can! Stay strong pile 1 I believe in you guys <3 Signs: koi fish; lily pads; pink lotus; blurry vision; lack of focus; daydreams; clouds; blue sky; mushrooms; meadows; super mario bros?; princess peach/daisy?; nintendo; cigarettes; church?

Pile 2

“I care for you still and I will forever that was my part of the deal, honest” (The Devil (rx); 10 of pentacles (rx); Knight of Cups (rx); 9 of swords (rx); 10 of swords; 7 of swords) Hi Pile 2! For you guys it was really easy to tap into your energy. Did you guys just go through a break up? Or maybe lost a friend? I feel a significant amount of loss in this pile however you seem to be handling it very well considering. I feel like you have a sense of optimism around this loss. For example, “it’s for the better we we’re incompatible anyways,” or “I’m grateful that I even had this person in my life.” And while yes, that is a great way to think about things, are you processing the loss or are you trying to mask it with love and light? I feel like you truly believe those things but I do feel like you’re using them as a bandaid for a bullet hole. Your angels are proud of you for dealing with this so gracefully, however they do hope you are careful because toxic positivity can lead you down a road where you don’t acknowledge the other person’s mistakes. Your angels want you to acknowledge that life is not just black and white, there are many shades of gray. And sometimes even when something was great there are reasons it came to an end. I feel you keep this person on a godlike pedestal and your angels want you to know that they were just human. Nothing better or worse. Just human. Not that they are asking you to villainize this person but giving you the okay to be angry and upset. They don’t want you to dismiss the bad things this person did to you even if they are small because you still deserve so much more than what they gave you. They might’ve been a good partner or friend but you deserve a great partner or friend. Your angels want you to work on some self worth issues you might’ve been dealing with since before this relationship. There’s a level of you feeling like you deserve people leaving you, like you are not good enough and that is so far from the truth pile 2. I feel like a lot of you are aware of these problems and are doing your best to fix them. I feel like you are in contact with your angels often so this might not be a new message to you. I believe in you pile 2 keep up the good work! Signs: panther; raven; starfish; beaches; ocean sounds; seashells; the birth of venus painting; california?; surfing; early mornings; jungle cruise (lol); disneyland?; the jungle book; Bagheera; 44; 66; Capricorn

Pile 3

“now that your here with me” (Justice; 6 of swords; 2 of swords; 7 of cups (rx); The Star; Ace of Swords) Hi pile 3! I hope y'all are doing good. For you guys I feel like your angels are kind of nudging you to start something new. I see you guys feeling like you have no options, but you know you have a couple, maybe they’re just not what you would want to do? I feel like your angels want you to try to start something new because you don’t know how much you’ll enjoy it if you don't try it. I feel a really youthful energy on you guys. Did you just get out of high school or college? There’s and energy of indecision on you, where you don’t know where to go. I’m getting a Disney's Pocahontas reference in the what’s around the riverbend song where she says, “or do you still wait for me dream giver? Just around the river bend?” I feel like you know and feel that your close to achieving your dreams and maybe you’re scared of failing to achieve them? I feel that your angels want you to know they are here to support you no matter what and that you should give everything a shot while you’re still young. The last thing you wanna live with is regret you know? I feel you guys probably have a form of catastrophic thinking and don’t attempt because you feel like the failure will be the end of everything. But because you don't try you never find out if the failure is the end of the world. Your angels are afraid that if you continue to quit while you’re ahead you will regret the things you never tried. Your angels know you are so very capable and can do all things you want to. I also feel like you know they have been trying to talk to you and that you’ve dodging them. Which is so funny that they chose that line in the song but they just want the best for you and if you feel pressure from them it’s because they know you can do it. Don’t count yourself out pile 3! You got this fs!  Signs: bat; turkey; orange cat; barns; small town; knee high socks with stripes; black hair; piercings; tattoos; video games; foggy; pacific northwest; cold water; ocean spray; 777; danzig

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 27

holy shit Pash is Wake’s niece?? and thus Gideon’s cousin?? this family tree (and honestly everyone in it) is unhinged. having a cousin who is both undead and also the kid of a guy she absolutely hates feels like it’s Pash’s worst nightmare coming true. this is probably the world’s second shittiest family reunion, bar the murder tea party at the end of HtN

Wake’s whole photo with Pash shows that she had a sentimental side beyond what she had going on with G1deon/Pyrrha i guess. rip Pyrrha, the only person she can reminisce with about the woman she loved is Pash, who just completely hates Pyrrha’s guts. fun!

the whole thing with young!Pash smiling while holding a gun is a little sweet that Wake seems to have cared an awful lot about her family, but also a pretty disturbing look at what it would be like to grow up in BoE, and why exactly Pash is so militaristic and dedicated to BoE’s cause

oh shit is the truck getting bombed? which reminds me we haven’t had a John chapter in quite a while

oh no, its worse than a bomb its Heralds from the RB. given Gideon was only really able to fight them at the end of HtN because she was in Harrow’s body and thus functionally immortal and kept regenerating, pretty much only Nona and Pyrrha stand any chance here 

okayy interesting tidbit of information from Pyrrha’s small speech here, which is that she seems to know/remember Gideon’s first name, from pre the Resurrection? makes me wonder that if she does remember stuff from before, if she’s going to ever give an account of events that contradicts the stuff John’s been saying in his chapters. Pyrrha Dve woman of mystery, the more i learn about her past the wilder it gets

i just adore that Nona’s first response to the RB here is to yell at the top of her lungs ‘you said you wouldn’t do anything weird!’ truly channelling Isaac and Jeannemary’s teenage embarrassment to new levels

i love that Nona’s copying what Cam says to her to try and calm down the RB. top 10 tips on how to negotiate with the vengeful ghost of a dead planet: use Camilla Hect’s emotional advice 

oh some very interesting stuff being said by the RB through Judith here. specifically that ‘the danger is upon you, and you do not even know … they are coming out of their tower, salt thing’. towers have been mentioned a couple times now, with Gideon and Ianthe being named the Tower Princes (probably by John) - with the turret image being on Chapter 16, where they first appeared on the broadcast - and the tower in the hidden message. all in all it doesn’t seem to spell anything good

also Nona in this chapter is just wonderful. i mean Nona’s always wonderful, but i especially love this moment where she grabs the sword despite not knowing how to use it, and her determination to confront the RB

given Nona’s declaration that she knows full well she’s not Harrowhark, and that the RB addresses Nona as the ‘Green-and-breathing thing’ and asks what a mysterious ‘he’ did to her, i feel very sure at this point that she’s Alecto’s soul. though you never know with this series, i’ve been blindsided too often by reveals to be certain of anything 

[theheirofthesharingan]

How do you honestly feel about konoha/the shinobi system in general?

Shinobi world is a fantastic fictional world with an ancient history that gives depth to its existence. But it's not perfect, because of all the practices that go on in it. The world is dark and mysterious and has a history that is as old as time.

But it is also a broken system of child soldiers, where children killing children or even adults taking advantage of children isn't seen as a bad thing. And that's why Naruto, the main character, exists, who acknowledges how messed up the system is and how hate and love are tied together and he is too naive to understand a lot of things.

We also see the other, darker side of the Shinobi world and Konoha, both, through Sasuke and Itachi. While Naruto's world is all sunshine and green and he learns through his experiences, Itachi has already seen the worst, has done the worst, and faced their consequences. Sasuke, much like him, although in ignorance, has experienced similar things and the way he responds to injustice against himself is a reflection of how violence is embedded in the system of its people, no matter how kind and gentle they otherwise are.

Many people criticise Sasuke for wanting revenge against Konoha, but "revenge" is also the reaction of Shikamaru and Naruto and they're expected to train and kill who killed their masters.

In their world, people not only are more violent to each other than an average person, but also have a higher pain tolerance. And since the ninja world is a place everyone is trying to survive, it's not a place to find out your heroes.

The good people here will have some kind of corruption in them and the bad people will have some kind of goodness to them. And at one point there are no lines because they're all so miserable and broken that one side can do anything whether it's morally right or not.

I feel majority of the fandom uses the real world as a kind of reference to analyse and assess the Shinobi world, which is unlikely to give you a clear image, because what the author is telling you is that the world he created has no heroes. If you're going to use your own personal moral lense to view the Shinobi world and judge characters based on what you approve or disapprove, you're not going to get a clear picture of it. IMO, this is the reason there are such hypocritical takes on the characters like Sasuke and Itachi and other morally ambiguous characters.

Konoha is the same. Since it's the village we spend most time with and the narrative never acknowledgew its system is wrong, it's easier to fall in love with it. Konoha isn't worse or better than the others, in my opinion. It's just that everyone in it sounds like a hypocrite. Kakashi, for example, tells Zabuza they're better people for not making kids kill each other, but then we're introduced to the Chunin exams. We have the venerated second Hokage who experimented with the dead bodies. Hyuuga clan practices slavery. And so on.

Konoha is more powerful than the other nations because they have the right strategy and the strongest tailed beast. And they manage to hide the genocide of its people, blame the victims, driving one away to death and blaming the other for wanting justice (while advocating the same ideals for others, as I mentioned above).

It's awful to see that Koshimoto leaves the darkness of his world unattended. It could be because he needs Boruto to run, so the issues Naruto promised Sasuke would get resolved are never actually resolved. He's probably uninterested. It should probably frustrate me more, but I think when I finished Naruto, I had expected this more or less. And it's been a long time since Manga ended (even it's been long enough for anime), so frustration isn't going to change anything.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Season 3, Episodes 1-6

//tw mentions of SA

Episode 1 - Fallen Heroes

I had a very long discussion with a friend of mine, who is a fan of medical settings, about how cool the existence of IV within the lore of Krosmoz is.

We didn't come to any conclusion. It was just us fanboying about this. Because my friend loves medical things and I love putting character into situations (some of which would not be survivable, if them being put on IV wasn't possible) (big fan of the concept of Joris getting poisoned and very sick and Kerubim and Atcham freaking the fuck out).

Funnily enough, during the making of my YouTube series, I discovered that there are two Sram-venerating women named Toxine in this franchise.

Adamai harbouring feelings of violence towards the members of the brotherhood is a good idea, (<- obviously the guy that wants Joris to beat the shit out of Kerubim would say this), but man, it could have been so cool if someone competent was working with this idea.

Episode 3 - Oropo's Tower

I should admit, this moment was probably a big win for Tristepin Mental Illness fans. Also, this is sadly the most explicit they can get with the reasons why Tristepin might hate being the Iop god in a cartoon.

He has plenty of reasons. Not only had Iop had 394824 demigods who hated him and felt abandoned by him while suffering fates worse than death (all gods have those) and just as many mortals he took advantage of using the power imbalance of godhood and promises of love (all gods have done that), he also canonically sexually assaulted a woman.

Ngl, if I was Tristepin, I would be considering killing myself — however, the kids and the wife would be sad.

They shuoild do this to Yugo too. He also had other wives. Albeit in an infinitely less insane way than Tristepin. Ankama.., please stop ignoring how existentially horrifying the Eliatrope demigods are.

In the Dofus MMO Kerubim pretty much calls the brotherhood of the forgotten an emo club of people with too much free time on their hands doing nothing but whining about their daddy issues.

And he was so real for that.

Btw canonically, Mishelle/Coqueline makes him feel intimidated (due to her grand age) while she herself doesn't really care about him (besides liking his good attitude towards animals), and is actually besties with Otomai.

Episode 4 - Beastly Girl

I like to headcanon that Joris's relationship with Coqueline is that he projects onto her ("oh god.... being 7 forever would make me kill myself.... even being 3ft tall is already horrible and makes me want to die..... the poor woman must be suffering") while she's like,, 1. probably doesn't think of herself as a "woman". I think she would describe herself as a creature, maybe a girlcreature, and 2. is literally chilling and doesn't give a single shit about anything but animal welfare and direct anti-god action.

I think talking to her would kill Joris because he'd realize that not every immortal person is as insecure about Literally Everything as he is.

She literally says, "the only good gods are ex-gods". We stan a leftist girlcreature?

This screenshot can be used as a reaction image for so many different shows. More fictional parents should say "my child is NOT ascending to godhood and shedding their mortality, becoming something beyond my comprehension, before they're of age. Fuck you."

Episode 5 - A Iop Hides Himself to Cry

You want to read @bitter-panacea's analysis posts about Goultard so bad.

Despite my negative feeling on s3, this is a WIN for Goultard fans, as far as I'm aware. (and Goultard enjoyers, since I kinda consider myself one)

I;'m going to walk into the sea.

Episode 6 - The Ecaflip's Scratching Post

YEAH BABY, A FULL ON IN-SHOW CONFIRMATION OF MY "USH HAS A DIFFERENT MOM THAN KERUBIM AND ATCHAM" HYPOTHESIS.

This might not seem like a contentious issue to normal people. Gods have... a lot of different lovers, so it seems normal to assume that Ush has one mom, while Kerubim and Atcham are twins like Eleley and Flopin, and have a different mom...

But a cancelled game that Tot really liked and still considers canon had really weird "there's an Ecaflip priestess who is the CEO of Giving Birth" lore, and was planned to be the mysterious mom of Kerubim and Atcham (and many other demigods), which contradicts a lot of previously established lore (ankama LOVES retcons. sadly).

I am quite open about thinking this is stupid and not considering this canon until they show her to me in an actual released media (and even then I will find a way to headcanon a better reality). Seeing the series itself acknowledge that Ush is not Atcham and Kerubim's full brother makes me feel quite better.

Hi Ush were you doing [SEXUAL ACTS REDACTED] upon cats again.

Cute...

A normal thing for a Bontarian to do. Blue-clad (metaphorically, he isn't wearing blue but white. Still very Bontarian though) man over here protecting kids and women. While also beating them up.

But unironically, I think it's cute that he has this gap moe of being an evil man who also saves people and cares about honour (because that's a proper thing to do) despite cheating constantly.

Somehow, his shallowness and "I mostly care about appearances, even if I do have a moral code" sort of behaviour is just as Extremely Bontarian as Joris's.... 30 mental illnesses.

THE OST IN THIS EP IS SO GOOD. ECAFLIP FANS WINNING ONCE AGAIN.

Hey past me! Maybe he really does pay these cats to put up with his insane behaviours. 🤨

Yugo, I'm gonna be real with you:

he's probably heard Joris and Kerubim say these exact words at least twice before,

He is reallllllly weird about cats and I am unsure if that's illegal in your setting,

He lured in people to kill in his tower for sport serial killer style.

He's bontarian. -20 morality and honor points immediately.

[revalition]

OCT 11 - AUTHORITY Intimidate the public. Assert yourself. authority!! my guy! I love *and* hate him very much! he's such a guy.

this is late because I spent too much time yesterday writing about him and not enough time drawing him. oops. that's also why it's so ugly but it's okay. someday I'll draw something good and you'll all be very impressed. we'll see if I can get EdC in today too or not!

and ty red for giving me your authority's wings haha, theyre soo cool. ough I love wings. if someone sent me an ask saying "draw [skill] with wings" I would be all over that so fasttt

anyway! lots of content under the cut as usual!

authority quotes!

anti sorry cop authority!! harry desperately needs someone to tell him to stop apologizing for existing... but in the second case, volition is right (as usual)

a wonderful classic here

gotta include these ofc

authority NO.

this line is just. how I image he is constantly. the millisecond your authority is questioned in the slightest he gets like this.

re. arresting klaasje

authority stopping you from being very embarrassing!

NO. no authority. there's SO many lines like this. sigh

authority seems to be a nearly perfect 50/50 split of good advice and bad advice. it's great. it's fascinating

authority and volition. authority and volitionnn. you are going to hear about the motor carriage story and there's no getting off.

rare sweet authority moment! (this heals morale too!)

realllly love this one too <3

authority, cmon man...

this guy. this guy... he's so... I don't know. he's sure something

authority CONFIRMED COMPROMISED. also authority being mean to soft little suggestion is always very funny to me

he is compromised though

hghhk this line from the authority fail. you get after failing *four* times. my first playthrough I had high authority - I had 6 PSY to start, and authority boosting clothes. and I just kept failing and failing. and every time I failed this check I had to dump another point into authority to try it again... so it was *really* high by the end! but I just kept failing it!! it was so painful... by the fourth fail you can finally beg kim to take over...

on the topic of awful authority fails! we need to acknowledge: - the authority check to get kim to dance - the authority check to save kim from getting shot - the authority check to make acele wear the hat

including it so we can enjoy authority making things worse and worse

alternatively, succeeding the check. eugh. (you dont have to kick the snow. but the fact that it's an option at all...)

I passed the check my first playthrough and failed it my second. there's really no good outcome to clicking it... except harry can get a good cry out of the fail, I guess

this seems like a good place to include the mandatory sad dream dialogue. that way we feel less bad for him since we got to just see him being stupid

now we know! tobacco wards off narco spirits, and alcohol discourages use of... narcohol. wonderful!

you know it's bad when it's too much even for authority haha

authority giving better advice than volition one time??? this is if you have cuno at the end, when you meet up with your posse. persisting with insisting on the phasmid isn't productive at all

live authority reaction to harry being told no to anything ever

low stakes authority fail haha

here's another one! not all authority fails are world-endingly bad

another one. sigh. authority. NO.

and there is soo much honour points dialogue I couldn't fit in here! the first time I got the honour cop thought bubble I was like, wow! I'm never listening to anything this skill says ever again!

the thought gives you -4 !!!! to drama! because lying is dishonourable. and then if you lie to kim about what you were doing he tells you it was an honourable lie. hypocrite. (and there is a dialogue where he says "Are you going to let him get away with being a hypocrite?" so that really makes auth a double hypocrite)

I love and hate authority in perfectly equal amounts. they don't cancel eachother out either, I just feel very strongly about him instead. I also feel very strongly about Volition, and their interactions are always fascinating. so I end up smushing them together, going fight! (and kiss!) and fight! like the extremely normal person I am. yep. you're welcome.

I could probably write half an essay my thoughts on their dynamic so I'm going to stop myself now before I have regrets :)

authority is in my favourite skills list for sure, but due to his serious personality issues I can't figure out where he places <3

[justenjoythegossip]

Would it be more “acceptable” if Chris & Abba were exclusively PR?

Chris’ performative political activism

Whether Chris and Abba are a real legitimate couple with a PR spin or exclusively PR, Chris’ political activism has proved to be totally performative. It’s one thing to fight for equality and injustice when it is beneficial to your image, it’s another to do it when voicing that opinion can be costly. Look at Melissa Barrera who expressed her opinion, stuck to her guts and lost the role she is most famous for. Look at Brendan Fraser who refused to stay silent and paid such a heavy price after speaking out on his being sexually assaulted. It took him years to come back and finally take home a much deserved Oscar for his acclaimed performance in the Whale. 

Chris’ persona and brand were utterly destroyed when he was linked to that fat-shaming racist antisemitic Nazi sympathizing girl. The most aggravating part of this PR shitshow is that by accepting to be officially in a “RS” and then be “married” to her, he has helped put her in the spotlight, which was his first mistake. Look at Dylan O’Brien who is in a real relationship with someone extremely problematic as well. They are rather discreet. If Chris and Abba had behaved like a real private couple, if Abba would have stayed in the shadow, then the backlash would have been kept to a minimum. Also by agreeing to this, Chris helped clean her image. Knowing what she has shown to the world publicly, it’s all the more egregious to see the media portraying her as this smart talented great humanitarian who speaks 5 languages and who has perfect eyebrows. The gaslighting is unbearable. 

Of course, Chris has famously said that the industry makes you do things that you don’t want to do. But it is an excuse. It’s a rationalization. The truth is that he had a choice. For sure the two options he was offered probably sucked but he still had a choice. Nobody forced this on him. And he knew the optics were terrible. That’s why he didn’t come back to Twitter, that’s why he took so much distance from his political project ASP. It would have been too hypocritical to be vocal and to be lecturing people when he, himself, was connected to someone that represents what he is allegedly fighting against. 

When he did that infamous asp chat about racism and antisemitism, it wasn’t random. It was very likely a test to monitor the reaction of his fans. This is probably why they left all those negative comments. They wanted to know if Chris had been forgiven...

If their “RS/marriage” was exclusively PR, would that absolve him somehow?  

Certain mods have expressed the opinion that if Chris and Abba were a real legitimate couple, it would be much worse and then they couldn’t support Chris anymore. I don’t mean to judge or criticize anyone’s opinion by the way, especially since I think some of those mods are good, well-intentioned people and I love reading their take on things but I am just trying to ask questions here. 

What is implied here is that it’s ok and preferable to compromise yourself if it’s meant for your career.  And it’s true that we are taught from the earliest age that we have to succeed. Whatever the cost may be. We must have friends, have a career, have money, have a family, have a house… So much emphasis on having and so little on being. This is the darker side of the American dream, it puts way too much importance on money and success. And if you can’t achieve those goals then you are considered to be worthless. Nihilism starts right there. If you are nothing, it’s a lot easier to give up on your morals and ethics… 

To get back to Chris. Yes he’s had an amazing career, the kind of career most actors would kill for. But it’s easy to relate to being terrified to lose what you have and what you have always wanted. I guess the desperation must be unbearable if you have defined yourself by your professional success and you see that things start slipping away from you. And by his looks and demeanor, people can tell he has struggled with it. Although it might be an act of course. But I choose to believe that it’s genuine and that he really feels guilty about it.   

But wouldn’t love make this situation more “acceptable”?

If Chris and Abba were exclusively PR, then it would signify that Chris compromised himself and his beliefs for his career, for roles, for money and for power. 

But wouldn’t it be actually “preferable” and “more acceptable” to compromise yourself out of love? 

Love can be so powerful and nonsensical that certain people have lost their ways because of it. People have betrayed their partners or spouses, some have abandoned their own children because of it. Heck, people have even killed out of passion. And we sometimes free those people in a court of law when a jury decides that the criminal was so blinded by love and passion that they were unable to distinguish right from wrong. We call it temporary insanity! 

If Chris had genuinely fallen in love with Abba (I don’t believe it by the way) to the point of being blind to her problematic stuff, would that be really worse or wouldn’t that serve as more mitigating circumstances? I am merely asking a question: compromising yourself for money and roles is it better than compromising yourself out of love? Did we actually become too cynical? Too materialistic? 

Chris and his treatment of Abba and how it is reflective of our society…

Regardless of what we might think of Abba (and for sure we don’t have a good opinion of her), Chris has treated her very poorly. And this doesn’t reflect well on him. 

Indeed he has done the absolute bare minimum to sell this, has never even said her name once, he has acted all ashamed most times she was nearby, has thrown shade (see the GQ interview where he implied she was judgmental), he has kept repeating how much he likes to be alone and how his dog is his true soulmate. He even said while allegedly being with her that he was looking for a partner to spend the rest of his life with. Ouch!

Of course, people who know about her problematic stuff will have trouble having any kind of empathy for her but that doesn’t make it ok. 

Chris has agreed to this PR shitshow so tacitly he has accepted that Abba is good enough for these PR games and he has accepted to use her. So he should treat her with a minimum of respect. Otherwise he shouldn’t have gone through with it in the first place.  

And it’s very symptomatic of our society these days. With the propaganda pushed by the mass media, we are taught that it’s ok to hate on people as long as they are horrible human beings. And similarly we have seen so many mods troll and comment on Abba‘s appearance as if it was even relevant. Just because someone is horrible, it doesn’t give you a license to behave the same way. Otherwise you become the very same thing you are criticizing. 

[tobiasdrake]

love your db analysis posts! i'd love to hear your thoughts on ultimate gohan, if you have any. between him having little to no reaction to finding out everyone on earth is dead, and randomly letting gotenks fight buu instead of himself, he did not seem to be the same character at all to me, and iirc even piccolo says so, i just... find it hard to believe a non-rage-triggered power-up would do that to him.

Much like Android 16, I do wonder if there were more plans for Ultimate Gohan that wound up being scrapped by the shift in narrative direction.

We're first introduced to the concept of Ultimate Gohan as the Elder Kaioshin is explaining his abilities.

Gohan's dormant power has long been a recurring attribute of his character. In fact, this isn't the first time he's had an elderly sage draw out his dormant power.

Teaching him to draw out and control his dormant abilities was (stealthily) part of Goku's training with him. That Gohan was finally starting to make it his own and tap into his true ki is the reason for why he was repeatedly unimpressed by Goku's abilities.

Gohan didn't even realize it, but through his mastery of the Super Saiyan, he'd also begun to take control of and internalize the tremendous ki he'd always had stored away in him. And as he came into his own ki, what he could sense of Goku's ki proportional to his own didn't make sense to him.

Super Saiyan 2 was, then, the culmination of Gohan's development. His full power, channeled through the Super Saiyan and its amplifying effects - both for better and, uh, for worse.

But it's been seven years and Gohan's been indulging in his true love of academia, in accordance with the agreement Goku and Chi-Chi made about his future.

Goku may have successfully escaped having to get a job by conveniently dying at the last possible second, but Gohan's future is set on a course. He's going to be an academic. It's what Chi-Chi wants for him, and it's what Gohan wants for himself; Even Goku acknowledges that.

Seven years of rigorous study and zero martial arts practice later, Gohan isn't the guy anymore. In fact, examining just how much Gohan isn't the guy anymore is the whole point of his fight with Dabra.

Goku eyeballs Dabra as being roughly around Cell's power. This allows Dabra to serve as a yardstick for Gohan, so we understand what it means for him when he fails to measure up.

Gohan that was a Zanzoken/Afterimage. Nobody even does those anymore. They became obsolete after ki-sensing was normalized, because everyone can now easily sense which "image" is the real one. The one other time we saw a Zanzoken return post-23rd Tenkaichi Budokai, it was against Frieza, who can't sense ki.

Dabra is mocking you right now. He legit thinks you're so shitty at martial arts that you'll fall for this amateur-hour guff. And he's right.

I kinda feel Geets here. If I had to watch my last chance to ever fight my rival get wasted on this, I'd be losing my mind too. He fucking fell for a Zanzoken; Can I just take over already?

So. Yeah. Full Power Gohan isn't a thing anymore. He can still tap into the form - and for some inexplicable reason so can Goku and Vegeta - but this is no longer Peak Potential. Which is where the Elder Kaioshin comes in.

This is a classic formula of Dragon Ball. We've seen it in the RRA, Piccolo, Saiyan, Namek (twice!), and Android arcs. First, Goku gets the shit kicked out of him - sometimes even to the point of being presumed dead.

While the surviving cast members scurry about trying to find a way to face the bad guy, Goku - sometimes unbeknownst to them, sometimes not - is recovering and preparing to come back stronger than ever. This typically takes the form of some sort of godly trial or ordeal guaranteed to make him stronger than ever.

Then, at the 11th hour when all else has failed and all hope is lost, Goku makes his return to have one last epic battle for the fate of the world/universe/cosmos.

This is the Dragon Ball formula. Has been since the day the Four-Star Dragon Ball saved Goku's life from a lethal Dodonpa. Of course, getting Gohan back up to speed isn't going to be enough, since Majin Buu in his weakest form was able to do this to our Cell-adjacent yardstick.

I wonder what Dabra Cookie tastes like? I imagine it's like the wafer part of a Keebler cookie. Sugary and nice on its own but better with fudge.

So. Yeah. If Gohan's going to throw hands with Buu, he's going to need more than the power he fought Cell with. Fortunately, that's the Elder's specialty, and what makes this different than that other time Gohan had his dormant power drawn out.

That's right, we're limit-breaking again. Not the limits of human ability, the limits of Saiyan ability, or even the limits of Super Saiyan ability; We're limit-breaking Gohan specifically. Elder Kaioshin's abilities can not only draw out Gohan's full dormant ability but push it beyond Gohan's natural limits.

Full Power Gohan? Nah. This is Limit-Breaker Gohan. Not his full potential; Beyond his potential. Something entirely different from the Super Saiyan, but similar enough that he doesn't require much alternative instruction.

Kinda feels like a thing that shouldn't be able to exist, to be honest. After all the time that's been put into things like the strain of the Kaio-ken on a body, the effects of Frieza having power beyond his limits, or even what trying to use Super Saiyan 3 in a mortal body does to Goku in this very arc.

The idea of Gohan channeling ki beyond his limits seems like it should have some drawbacks, doesn't it? We do get some hints that something's weird about Gohan's new power. Piccolo can't even recognize his ki signature in this state.

This form is doing some weird shit to his ki. And, as Piccolo notes, Gohan's harder now. Gohan is here to take care of business, and nothing is going to get in his way.

But. Then. The switch happens. Suddenly, Gohan is no longer the protagonist and we need a way for Majin Buu to suddenly be too much for Gohan to handle. So we go from this:

To this:

In the span of two chapters. All so that Buu can ass-pull a brand new ability that's never once been mentioned before even though Kaioshin will later cop to having seen him do it twice, that will instantly make Ultimate Gohan stop being a solution to this problem two chapters after his debut.

A plan that, in fact, he began putting into place one chapter after Ultimate Gohan's debut. Never in the history of Dragon Ball has a brand new form or ability been obsoleted this quickly.

And then Gohan was basically thrown in the dumpster and this was never spoken of again, with Ultimate Gohan just becoming his new Strongest Transformation in follow-up products. You can feel the climactic final act being aggressively aborted around him, in favor of Goku and Vegeta's third act.

Hell, at one point, Goku even suggests bringing in Gohan to fight Pure Buu. Y'know. Since Ultimate Gohan is the strongest in the universe and all that. But Vegeta nopes it.

No explanation offered. He's just like, "That's not the plot anymore; Try to keep up, Kakarot." To be fair, Goku had a chance to bring Gohan into this too. They're both aggressively elbowing Gohan out of the spotlight here.

Mad disrespect.