#I guess?? just complaining here as a tired aroace

[breezy-cheezy]

FR I’m rewatching Voltron cause why not and just the “Voltron” tag is completely full of Keith/Lance like can I just see some fanart of the characters and some gifs PLEASE

GOSH I HEAR YA. I feel your pain in my bones anon. I never finished Voltron for various reasons but maybe someday…I count myself lucky I was offline for the worst of the apparent drama. Easier to hold onto the fond memories of when it was starting out and such! But yea even then, ships were everywhere….and not the spaceships I wanted to see in my sci-fi haha 🥁🐍

ANYWAY scraping for platonic content or even just content on blorbo themself (Keith in my case here) has been an age old struggle for me, but the prevalence of kl**ce didn’t help :/ like I’m not gonna go after people enjoying what they love, good for them! They’re having fun! I’m just. Tired, yknow? I think a lot of people don’t know how to interact with media except through shipping characters together. And as someone who can’t really relate to it on a personal level (I don’t hate romance I even enjoy it in media sometimes) I just. Want some variety. Blease. I am so tired.

So yeah firm handshake there anon good luck hang in there 🤝

[somewhat-exhausted]

Hey tumblr.

My name’s Elliot, and I’m not exactly new here, but this is a new account and blog. There’s not that much to know about me, so I’ll just spit anything important right here.

I’m very, very tired.

School is shit. I’ll probably complain about it.

They/Them

Still figuring out the sexuality and gender stuff, all I know is my current pronouns and that I am definitely somewhere on the aroace spectrum.

I love art. I love to find it and look at it and cherish it.

I like drawing things myself, but it’s been months since I’ve had the motivation to. If I draw anything worthwhile I’ll post it on here, I guess.

Reading is the best.

I like writing, too. Demotivation plagues that too, but I love writing. Original pieces, fanfiction, anything.

My favorite books: The Book Thief, Code Name Verity, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, The Queen’s Thief series, the original Sherlock Holmes canon, and probably I’m missing some but it’s okay.

Favorite movies: The Imitation Game, Return of the King, Interstellar and Inception.

Favorite tv shows: BBC Sherlock, Granada’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and Heartstopper.

(I have a lot of favorites.)

Main fandoms are anything Sherlock Holmes and the Tolkien universe (including all movies (but not RoP because it’s barely even Tolkien)).

Other fandoms that I still enjoy but am not as involved in include (but are not limited to): Star Trek, the Marauders, and the MCU? Also Star Wars every once in a while.

Some favorite ships for any of these (in no particular order) are: Bagginshield, Samfro, Gigolas, Johnlock, Mystrade, Jegulus, Wolfstar, Spirk, and once again there’s others too that I’m leaving out.

I fucking love music so much.

I play the piano quite nicely and I play the violin not even half as well (but I play it anyway).

My two favorite video games are Portal (and Portal 2) and Hollow Knight.

GAH I feel like there’s more I should add but I’m useless so I don’t know what the “more” is.

Anyway, yeah. That’s a little bit about me.

I’m also intensely lonely and I like tumblr friends, so don’t hesitate to message me if something in here catches your eye.

This message will be updated periodically as I see fit.

<last update: 08.09.23>

[magniloquent-raven]

feel free to ignore this i just need somewhere to air out some thoughts i haven't quite ironed out yet

see, i enjoy watching youtube reviews about shitty romance movies, because it's fun to watch people complain about trash i guess lmao, and something that ends up in the comments of literally every video is the "imagine if the leading man had been ugly" and "if this guy was poor it would've been an episode of criminal minds"

which, like, you're not wrong? technically? romance in general depends entirely on the consent of the parties involved, grand romantic gestures are not romantic when the person on the receiving end doesn't want them. and i get that the "if he was poor/ugly" talking point is meant to address privilege, that audiences are willing to ignore red flags because an actor gives them the tingles and/or they want to imagine being spoiled by some unfathomably rich dude, the attractiveness is an intrinsic part of the fantasy and without that it's just some guy overstepping boundaries left and right.

like i said, the inherent romance of a situation is entirely dependant on the consent of those involved, but in a romance movie that consent is basically a given? we know what this movie is here to do, we go into it knowing these people are going to fall in love, whether it's a good idea or not lmao, so it just kind of. becomes funny when people are like, if she wasnt into this guy the vibe would be so different because.....yeah???? but it's fucking annoying that the way they express this point is saying "if you take away the looks/money it would change the genre" like people who aren't conventionally attractive and wealthy can't experience romance AND like people can't ever be creeped out by the behaviour of someone hot and rich.

im aroace and i can promise you, being in ANY of these situations, i would be greatly uncomfortable. because i wouldn't want any of it. from anyone. attractiveness and wealth be damned.

again, i get what they're trying to do, but i feel like they just. fail to make their point. in part because pointing out that hot people can get away with a lotta shit is such a tired cliche by now, it's not the "gotcha" you think it is. especially because "imagine if he was ugly" kind of fails to interrogate the actual problem with certain behaviours and just regurgitates the same shallow whataboutism that hundreds of people have brought up before.

idk it's just exhausting. im tired.

[7-crows-in-a-trench-coat]

(i’ll probably delete this, it’s just a rant post cuz idk who to talk to)

i’m just scared of being left behind i think. i have a friend and i love them, but them got a new girlfriend recently and i can’t help but be kinda jealous i guess. she makes them happier than anyone else, she’s the love of their life, she’s who they wants to talk to 24/7. and i’m happy they found themselves someone like that but i just wish i could make them (or just anyone) as happy as their girlfriend makes them. i don’t get it. i’m aroace and i hate that i don’t get it. all my friends want partners, all of them “need a date for homecoming”, all of them have crushes and aspirations of romantic love and their “dream” person. and i don’t understand it. why is going with your friends to a dance “going alone”? why is being friends always treated as secondary?

i’m just scared that when i’m an adult and all my friends (old or new) get married and stuff they won’t care about me as much. it’s kind of irrational, and i try to remind myself that i won’t be left behind, but it’s not like i haven’t been the third wheel before. hell, i’m even the third wheel to a lot of friendships. i’m not good at making new friends, but i’m not always great at keeping old ones, so i can’t really complain. i can never read people. are we close? can i call you my best friend? can i say i love you without it being weird? is it ok if i ask to hang out with you? i never know. so i isolate myself and hope they’ll make the first move. i’ve been getting better at putting myself out there, but it’s not enough. i wanna be close with people but with being around people for 8 hours a day at school it gets so tiring. i sound like such a bitch right now. i don’t need to be first, i don’t need to be someone’s “favorite person”, i think since everyone places their romantic partners first i just feel like i’ll never be anyone’s go-to. i’m 15 and have had social anxiety my whole jesus life, so there’s not many experiences to draw from though. i should probably sleep now. at least my cat is here :) he’s always there for me. i love him to bits, we’ve had him since i was two and idk what i’d do without him. he’s the cutest lil guy (and by that i mean he’s like 84 in cat years and always looks like he wants to kill you in your sleep)

[champion-of-thedas]

As part of my unhealthy mindset, I’ve been hyper fixating, so this post is probably a part of that. Sorry for not writing as much, my heart’s just not been in it.

Anyway. So, if you have seen my blog and you haven’t guessed by now, I’m aromantic/demiromantic asexual, which can get weird. Lately I’ve been playing dating sims bc I think they’re hilarious and usually enjoy some of the sweet moments (which has lead to some weird conversations about my romantic inclinations with a friend), but suddenly it left-turned into a Batman kick… due to telltale’s Batman series. This first part of this conversation is relevant bc I had a really… weird experience playing both seasons.

I played season one making Bruce as friendly as possible, even to the point of rejecting selina’s advances so we could be friends. There was a small moment that displeased me in the way it was handled bc a friendly gesture lead to it getting hot and heavy and then I shot it down but the relationship healed shortly after. Overall, I left season one feeling like my Bruce and Selina were incredibly close friends and would do anything for each other.

Season two has been different. I’m not even finished with it yet, I just finished episode 5, but I definitely had a weird experience where my aroace status kind of made it difficult. For context, a friend has been staying with me and she got to hear me complain and grouse that I would have to backtrack bc I made Bruce say something and something completely different came out of his mouth. for telltale games I have a rule that I am allowed to reload the scene if and only if the character says something I aggressively didn’t mean for them to say but ONLY IF I haven’t heard the other character’s reaction to it. I actually broke this rule during a conversation with Selina bc I was so shocked by how Bruce reacted that I didn’t escape in time. He didn’t say anything bad, but I was still trying to keep a friendship and not romantic relationship with Selina. The two of them had this intimate conversation where she mentioned he made her feel better than she thought she was and Bruce had just shown her the bat cave. I picked the “we’re friends” option thinking it would be something to show solidarity and that I care. Instead I got Bruce distancing himself from her proclamation and asking her to just be co-workers.

I began ranting about how annoyed I was and my friend said, “you’re frustrated bc your thinking like an asexual person, not Batman.” This trend continued with a few other moments, but I’ll admit I got tired of the many options that treated Bruce befriending Selina instead of pursuing her romantically as a ‘bad path’ or rejection. I have so many reasons why they should be friends not the least of which being Bruce isn’t mentally healthy enough for a romantic relationship and Selina needs to have a relationship with decidedly fewer complications and chances for manipulation for either party. Let me have my protagonist have a best friend that gets him and cares about him. I know some people said that could be what John is for him and I did have Bruce try to befriend John in earnestness, but there was definitely a separation there where it felt like either Bruce was holding John at arm’s length or John was not seeing Bruce as he was but either a symbol to emulate or a hypocrite (and I was trying very hard to not be that).

I still love telltale’s Batman season 1 and 2, but here I was trying to give Bruce Wayne a support system that got him and cared about him and he cares about them in turn. I got that a little, but I had to sacrifice Batman and unintentionally lie to Tiffany in the process, had to deal with the whole John situation which left the relationship in an unequal place (in different ways and not necessarily in Bruce’s favor), and in a romance with Selina who I was aiming to be the biggest support. It was fun, but I’ll admit that disappointed me. In the end, the only relationship I was fully satisfied with was with Jim Gordon (and even then I wish Bruce could have confided in him. Legally he can’t for so many reasons, but still).

I did get to essentially tell Waller to go fuck herself though, and that was nice.

[arofili]

tag games!

i’ve been tagged in a couple tag games over the past week and i finally have a moment to do them! 2 are fic-focused; 2 of them are personal - i’m gonna do both the personal games in one post :)

tagged by @huanhoundofvalinor thank you <3

Name: Anna

Gender: fuck if I know, but something nonbinary

Height: 5'8″

Sexuality: aroace

Favorite Animal: cats!! and penguins :D

Cats or Dogs: i mean, shockingly, it’s cats, lol. i like dogs too but mostly i like seeing other people’s dogs, where i want a cat for myself!

Current Time: 7:36pm

Dream Job: novelist!

When I Made This Blog: ummmmmm late 2014 i think?

Why I Made This Blog: my school friends bullied me into it lol

Reason For URL: i love my aro son!

Followers: 3,035

~~~

tagged by @andtheirlovewasrenewed, thanks!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? My hair’s too short for a brush, but my comb is black

2. Name a food you never eat: uh...bugs?

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching the vp debate, unfortunately

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? symphony bar with almonds...yum!

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah one time we went to a timbers game on a field trip in middle school

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? something complaining about the debate to my roommates

8. What is your favorite ice cream? kit kat ice cream

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. Do you like your wallet? i don’t really have one, i just keep my stuff in a pocket of my purse

11. What is the last thing you ate? goldfish crackers

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Nope

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? honestly i don’t know i don’t watch much sports

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? caramel corn

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my friend Moth!

16. Ever been camping? yes and i hated every moment, and only half bc i was at girls’ camp

17. Do you take vitamins? i used to but they made me nauseous

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? not since i moved away from home, thank god. well. not thank god since i stopped going to church? lmao

19. Do you have a tan? absolutely not, i am very pale and just burn

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? uhhhhhh both are good but neither are my Favorite

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? not usually

22. What color socks do you usually wear? mostly solid color, blacks and pinks

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? yeah but not by a lot

24. What terrifies you? stinging insects

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my roommate

26. What chore do you hate most? cleaning the bathroom

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? uhhh Koala Jackson because of the OMEN podcast lol

28. What’s your favorite soda? sprite

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? i guess i prefer the drive through but i don’t have a car so

30. What’s your favorite number? i don’t really have one....maybe 7?

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommates

32. Favorite meat? chicken!!

33. Last song you listened to? “Look Down, Fair Moon” bc we’re singing that in choir

34. Last book you read? The Stars and the Blackness Between Them, for my YA Lit class. good book, but i didn’t like the ending tbh

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? no

37. How do you like your coffee? i don’t drink coffee

38. Favorite pair of shoes? i guess my slippers since i wear those all the time

39. Time you usually get up? like...11:00am if i can swing it

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset? sunset!

41. How many blankets on your bed? 2-4

42. Describe your kitchen plates: cheap

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment: small

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink

45. Do you play cards? not really

46. What color is your car? don’t have one

47. Can you change a tire? nope

48. Favorite state or province? washington...that’s where i’m from though, not very original

49. Favorite job you’ve had? Academic Student Advisor at my university!

50. I tag: @fingons-rad-harp @thatfeanorian @thalassakimou @katarrinskey and @freckles-n-geckos ! feel free to completely ignore, and take your pick of the two tag games here!

[ilovemygaydad]

title: super cool

pairings: roceit, analogical, qpr remy/remus

summary: roman, who is a giant nerd, is pining after the most popular guy at school. 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, anger, frustration, crying, a couple of sexual jokes (skip the tiny scene that starts with remy speaking), sympathetic deceit, remus, threats (as jokes), self-deprecation, lying, meddling with relationships, shame, brief humiliation, embarrassment, the briefest food mention, slight misunderstandings, awkward conversations, and possibly something else

a/n: this was commissioned by the wonderful, lovely @adultmorelikeadolt who suggested that i write this after complaining about not having any ideas on what to write. this definitely has room for a second part, so... maybe i’ll write another? idk. maybe if i get an idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also yes i know that there are a ridiculous amount of ace and aro people in this fic but guess what? idgaf!!!! ace!roman and aroace!pat, remus, and remy are all great and i’d be an idiot if i didn’t add them all in. not to mention a little bit of enby!logan!!!! i’m in love with them all so i get to make the rules

commission info (two slots for 50% off are still open!)

consider buying me a coffee

---

“Roman, stop being a fucking creep,” Virgil chided from his perch on Logan’s lap. He flicked an overcooked pea from his tray, which hit Roman square on the cheek.

“I am not being a creep,” Roman snapped, not taking his eyes off of the boy he was staring at. “I’m admiring.”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, shifting their gaze between Roman and the boy across the courtyard. “I’m almost certain that you’re being a creep.”

“You’re biased because you’re Virgil’s partner! That’s not fair at all,” Roman huffed. He turned to look at Patton. “I’m not being a creep, right?”

“Well...” 

Roman gasped. He dramatically pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by all of my friends! I thought you cared about me, but I was horribly mistaken!”

“Maybe if you didn’t awkwardly stare at Damien during lunch, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Virgil suggested.

“Well, it’s not as if I could talk to him!” Damien Taylor was easily the most popular guy at Sanders High. There was no chance in hell that Roman Fairfield, resident history nerd and drama geek, could so much as stand within five feet of him, let alone strike up a conversation.

Patton rolled his eyes. “It isn’t illegal to talk to him, you know. Just compliment him on his dress or something.”

“It isn’t that easy,” Roman griped. Damien was just so cool. He was suave and charming and unbelievably handsome, and he wore whatever he wanted with the confidence of a million superstars, regardless of the style or if it showed off his vitiligo. Nearly every boy, girl, and nonbinary person either wanted to date him, be him, or befriend him. He was practically irresistible, and despite the attention that he was given, Damien preferred his small friend group of Remy Xander and Remus Adams. Roman was simply another admirer. He wasn’t anything special like Damien obviously wanted.

“Stop doing that,” Virgil said, tearing Roman from his thoughts.

“Stop what?”

“The whole brooding thing.” Virgil vaguely waved his hands around. “I can practically hear the self-hatred from here.”

“Oh, whatever, Danger Days,” Roman hissed. He crossed his arms and turned away, more upset than angry. There was a bit of shuffling behind him, and within a few moments, Virgil’s arms had wrapped around his middle in a comforting hug. His resolve quickly crumbled, and he leaned into his friend’s side.

“We love and support you always, Ro,” Virgil whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Roman’s head. “You are incredible.”

---

Despite Virgil’s sweet words at lunch, Roman felt anything but incredible. 

He had stayed after class for forty minutes to chat with his teacher, which was pretty standard, but when he’d tried to turn his car on afterward, the engine refused to turn on. He had half a mind to call one of his friends to drive him home, but Virgil and Logan had mentioned earlier that they were going on a date, and Patton’s sister would be less than pleased to have to turn around to pick up one of her brother’s “weird friends.” So Roman was stuck, and he felt pretty damn shitty about it.

“Stupid car,” he muttered as he kicked angrily at one of his tires. “Stupid old car that’s held together by duct tape and safety pins!”

“You look upset,” someone said behind him, and Roman whipped around to find Damien standing there with Remy and Remus a few feet behind him, holding hands.

Oh, shit.

“Um, yeah, I guess. My car broke down, and all of my friends have left already.” He awkwardly gestured at the mostly-empty parking lot.

“I can help.” Damien walked around to the front of the car, waving Remy to follow. Roman absolutely did not stare as Damien’s yellow dress swirled around his legs like liquid sunshine. “I’m good at finding the problem, and Remy is just fantastic at the actual fixing.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

Remy slid his shades into his hair with a bored expression. “It’s no problem, doll. Can you pop the hood for me?”

Roman nodded and did as he was told. While Damien and Remy poked around the engine, he sat on the pavement beside his car to watch. Remus, who had been explicitly told by Remy to not touch anything, searched for bugs in the grassy area a few feet away, occasionally making random, lewd comments to his QPP. Remy would retaliate by rolling his eyes and giving Remus the finger, and Damien seemed completely unfazed by their antics.

“So good news,” Damien said fifteen minutes after they had started. “I figured out what’s wrong.”

“And?”

“I can’t fix it,” Remy answered. He spouted off a bit of technical nonsense about how something had broken and would need to be replaced, which Roman didn’t get at all except for the underlying message that his car was still fucked up, and he still didn’t have a way to get home.

“Shit, okay.” Roman rubbed at his eyes in frustration. If he hadn’t been in the company of the three most popular kids at school, he probably would have started crying right then and there. “Okay. Thanks for trying to help.”

He heard the hood slam closed, followed by the retreating voices of Remus and Remy, but he still didn’t move. Hot tears started to well up in his eyes, and he internally kicked himself for feeling so upset. It wasn’t even that big of a deal that his car had broken down, yet he was crying like a baby. He sniffled and scrubbed harshly at his eyes. Thank god that Damien and his group had left already.

His momentary thankfulness, however, was shattered as crunching footsteps approached him. His eyes snapped open, and Damien was standing above him with his hand outstretched. Roman was caught between feeling shameful and confused.

“What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

Damien rolled his eyes. “Attempting to help you up.”

“Why...?”

“Do I seriously need a reason to lend you a hand?” Impatience was starting to grow in his mismatched eyes, and Roman reached up before Damien decided that it wasn’t worth his time.

“Sorry, I just thought that you’d left with your friends,” Roman said, shoving his hands into his pockets as soon as he was on his feet.

“No, they...” Damien trailed off, looking in the direction that Remus and Remy had gone. “They have plans.”

“Oh. Well, thanks again for trying to help.”

“It’s no problem.” Roman could have sworn that an uncomfortable expression flashed over Damien’s face for a split second, but he unfalteringly continued, “Would you like a ride home?”

Roman’s eyes widened in shock. Damien Taylor was offering to drive him home. “You don’t have to, really--”

“Let me rephrase that. Would it be okay if I took you home? I would rather you not be stuck here for god knows how long.”

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck--

“Uh, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“Great,” Damien said, smiling gently. “My car isn’t very far.”

“Cool...”

They were silent for the whole twenty second walk to Damien’s car, but once they were sat down, Damien spoke up. “Why didn’t you call your friends to get you? I don’t know much about them, but I feel like they would have been happy to help.” He put odd emphasis on the word “friends,” but Roman brushed it off.

“Patton gets a ride from his sister, and I didn’t want to make her turn around to pick me up. Plus, I think she ‘blames’ me for Patton being aroace since I came out as ace to him, which led to him learning about that whole spectrum in the first place, so she probably would’ve been unpleasant about driving me home. I probably could’ve asked Logan no problem, but they said they were going on a date with Virgil this afternoon. I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Why would you be bothering them?”

Roman burst out laughing, but after a few seconds of Damien not joining in, he stopped. Damien’s brow was furrowed, and Roman realized that he was serious. “What do you mean? It’s a date.”

“Yeah. Aren’t you dating Logan and Virgil?”

“Oh,” Roman exhaled. “No, I definitely am not.”

“Oh,” Damien parroted. A dark blush appeared on his cheeks in clear embarrassment.

“It’s easy to make that mistake, though,” Roman rushed in an attempt to dispel the awkward feeling in the car. “I mean, Virgil is a very touchy-feely kind of guy, and Logan is obviously dating Virgil, so... It’s not a complete stretch to assume that I was dating them.”

Damien nodded mechanically. “Right, well... Where do you live?” 

Roman told him his address, and the entire ride there was silent.

---

“I really don’t know why you’re so upset about it,” Remy drawled. “He’s single. Didn’t you want that?”

“Yes, but I made a complete idiot out of myself!” Damien groaned, flopping onto Remy’s bed.

Remus sat down next to him with an evil smirk. “Dami, you shoulda seen the way he looked at you when you walked past him. It was like he just wanted to reach up your skirt and--”

“I suggest that you stop talking if you want your heart to continue to beat.”

“Kinky!”

Remy glared at Remus and said, “Seriously, though. The guy looked like he was about to faint when you offered to help. I’m no expert in romantic attraction, but I think he’s into you.”

“He was probably intimidated by me like everyone else at this stupid school is!” Damien rolled over and pressed his face into a pillow. “He’s just so fucking pretty.”

“Well,” Remus laughed. “At least now that you’ve seen his pretty face up close, you’ll have ‘shower-nozzle mastur--’”

“REMUS!”

“God, you’re such a buzzkill!”

---

Patton peeked around the corner of the hallway again. Damien was packing up his things, and neither Remy nor Remus were in sight, which was ideal for Patton’s plan. He waited until Damien pulled the zipper shut on his backpack to run over, using the acting skills that he had learned from Roman to look scared and upset.

“Damien, oh my goodness, I need your help!”

The boy in question looked up, surprised. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“I was in a practice room, and a spider just came out from nowhere, and no one else is around, and I need you to get rid of it for me!” Patton rushed, clinging to Damien’s arm like it was a raft. In reality, the only thing in the practice room was Roman, who was under the assumption that Patton was going to show up to play piano for him, but what was a little bit of meddling between friends? 

Okay, so maybe Patton felt bad for meddling with Roman’s love life, but Roman had called him up the night before fretting over “messing everything up,” which was just absurd in Patton’s opinion. He shared a class with Damien, and the amount of times he’d caught glimpses of the popular boy doodling Roman’s name in his notebook was honestly bordering on an absurd number. Patton had two pining idiots on his hands, so since neither of them were going to make a move, Patton was simply going to... nudge them in the right direction.

“Oh, um, okay,” Damien said.

“Thank you so much!” Patton began to drag Damien to the practice room, talking the whole way there so he wouldn’t ask any questions. “It was so scary! I was just playing the piano, and this huge black spider started crawling on the top end keys! It just showed up out of nowhere like the big, scary, creepy-crawly death-dealer that it is! I’m so glad that you’re willing to help me, Damien. All of my stuff is in there--oh my gosh! What if it’s in my bag? That would be dreadful! Oh, here we are!”

They stood in front of the plain wooden door of the practice room. Patton grabbed Damien by the shoulders and gave him the most serious expression that he could muster. “Damien, I wish you the best of luck in your task. However, if you are taken by the spider, I will not help you.”

“O-okay...?”

“Great! Thanks again!” Patton chirped as he flung the door open, pushed Damien inside, and pulled it shut again. He took out the keys that he had borrowed from the band teacher and locked the door, silently hoping that Roman would forgive him after everything.

---

Roman looked up, shocked to see Damien stumble through the door of the practice room, who looked equally surprised to see him. “Um, hello?”

“Hi.”

“Why are you in here?”

Damien awkwardly looked back to the door. “Uh, your friend Patton told me that there was a spider that he needed me to kill in here.”

“He must have been mistaken. I’ve been in here since school let out, and he told me he was running late to meet here--” Roman cut himself off in realization. Oh, that son of a bitch! “Patton lied.”

“What?”

Roman stood from the piano bench, striding to the door. He tried the knob, and like he had suspected, it didn’t budge. “He tricked us into the practice room!” He kicked the door in frustration.

Damien looked very confused and alarmed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because I have a crush on you, and that bastard is trying to get me to confess--” He clamped his hand over his mouth in horror as he realized what he was saying. To escape the disapproving glare that Damien was bound to give him, Roman turned away, hugging his arms round his waist. He could feel heat pricking at the corners of his eyes in the tell-tale sign that he was ready to bawl his eyes out. It would be super cool of him to cry in front of Damien twice. Not weird at all.

“You... have a crush on me?”

“Don’t,” Roman choked out. “Just forget I said anything.”

Damien shifted around behind him, and a hand gently landed on his shoulder. “Roman, will you please look at me?”

Slowly, he turned his head to look at the other boy, painfully aware of the redness of his eyes and nose and cheeks. There was a softness in Damien’s gaze, and Roman was only able to keep his mouth pressed into a firm line for the few moments that led up to Damien’s hand moving to cup his face.

“I, um... I actually have a crush on you, too.”

Roman felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “Really?”

“Yeah. I really, really do.”

They smiled at each other for a few moments when the lock on the door clicked. Roman took Damien’s hand that wasn’t on his face and said, “How about we get out of here and talk about things over coffee?”

Damien grinned. “I think that sounds great.”

[goldenpinof]

This might just be me being petty, but i was sort-of-not-really invited to this adult dinner my parents are throwing, and because im an adult i joked that i could go too. So my dad said i could if i wanted. Then next thing i know, its a date night and im not allowed bc im single (which kinda irks me bc im aroace so i WONT be dating anyone anyways). And im like cool, thats fine. Only to find out last night that my aunt (who is single) is going, and i cant help but feel a bit left out? Sad? Idk

(Dinner anon): instead, im watching as my parents are getting ready to go and im in my pj's having to watch children. I was supposed to have a dinner after my college graduation (which i didnt even want to go to btw, i went FOR my family), but everytime i brought it up my mom would just shrug her shoulders at me. So now ive graduated, and im sat here not exactly sure what to do? Do i bring it up? I dont feel like i should go at this point bc its obvious they dont want me there anyways

(Dinner anon) lmaoo so my sister just complained that my aunt is going so they shouldve invited me along and then i decided to be a l i t t l e petty and make mention that i was invited, then uninvited, and then invited again. My mom though, once again, just shrugged her shoulders and said that i was invited but i never accepted it... like??? I HELPED YOU PLAN THIS WDYM I NEVER ACCEPTED im just, ,,, tired and frustrated

(Dinner anon) oof update: so my mom invited me again. My dad walks in and my aunt goes to take a shower before we leave. My dad was apparently not informed that my aunt was going so now hes pissed bc this WAS in fact, a date night with friends who are all couples. So now i definitely dont want to go bc i know it would piss him off. So now i know im definitely not invited, never was, and am just watching all the drama unfold.

OH MY GOD. 1st of all, what is wrong with communication there? 2nd of all, i’m so sorry you had to go through all that invited/not invited bs. i just don’t get one thing, is your aunt going? because they’re gonna be the only single person there if you don’t go, gonna be fun i guess hejfdksd. anyway, family drama is the worst thing ever, i hope you’re not hurt by your parents’ decision and i hope that dinner wasn’t important to you :(

the situation sucks, but it’s definately a thing to remember for years:)

[crackmadhi]

Day 4 - Comfort

Friday, 11 May 2029 – Age 30 It had been loud inside that restaurant and Simon needed a break from the noise. Discreetly he had snuck away from their table and now stood outside on the street. People were walking by, some cars moved away but he felt lighter away from the ruckus his colleagues made.

His friends. He wasn’t sure how that had happened yet but he was to tired to complain about it back then. And happy, if he was honest with himself.

Softly he smiled while watching his feet and pushed a pebble aside. Steps from behind him. He looked up. The small figure of Trucy Wright came into his view and he watched her approach him calmly.

For a moment the girl said nothing and just stood next to him. Then she looked up to him and brightly grinned.

“It’s a lot cooler out here, isn’t it?” she started the conversation and vaguely pointed around them.

Simon quirked up an eyebrow but nodded. She wasn’t wrong, it was just a clumsy conversation starter for a great performer like her.

“I wanted to thank you.”

Now Simon was even more on the edge than before. Why would she need to thank him? He hadn’t done anything to deserve such a treat.

“What for?”

Trucy watched him, the cheerful mask taken off and a gentle contentment showed itself beyond it.

“When you helped us in March. You were so quick to act and so kind. I never really got around to say thank you for that”, she told him and tilted her head.

Simon shook his head and waved her praise away.

“It’s fine”, he mumbled and looked down on his shoes, “I’m glad I was of use.”

He quickly glanced over to her and saw her cheeky grin and fought a smile rushing on his lips.

“Also”, she continued to his surprise and turned back to her, “it is really nice to know someone, who is aroace like me and has never dated. It’s refreshing to see that you can actually grow up happy like that.”

Slowly he watched the rest of her showmanship’s mask fall as she went on and elaborated: “I rarely hear somebody talking about aro people and even though Daddy told me about it and supports me, he can’t really answer anything about the topic and I really know nobody who’s openly aro and over twenty. And – smiling at him with a cheerful hum – you were just so open about it! It is so awesome seeing somebody being happy and proud to be like us! It gives me hope and it comforts me to know that there are people like you. It means I can be like that too. I’m allowed to be happy even if I am not dating anybody or living with anybody. That’s really cool.”

Simon let out a huff. Softly he laid his hand on her shoulder and nodded.

“It’s always nice to find somebody aroace. And if it helps you, I gladly answer the questions you cannot ask your father”, he offered and leaned at the wall beside him, so he was in a bit lower position than before.

The girl tapped her lips and then asked curiously: “Did you sometimes think you had a crush on somebody? And were you sometimes so fed up with all the others talking about their lovey-dovey relationship stuff? As if it was the most important thing in the world, when it really wasn’t?”

“Oh, I know this just too well”, Simon laughed and looked up in the sky. “There were a few girls I liked a lot as I kid. They were usually incredibly nice and creative and I with those I was comfortable to hug. It confused me that I liked them so much and I doubted more than once that I might be demi or maybe not even aro at all, but usually when they started to tell me how they wanted their “perfect relationship” to look like I knew that I never dreamt of such a thing, nor did I want to have something like that. But if you struggle with it or feel like you want to try it out with somebody you trust, please do. As long as you communicate well enough nothing bad should come out of it and you’ll learn more about yourself. And I know exactly what you mean with people being obsessed with their romantic relationships. Sometimes I thought it was the only thing people ever wanted to talk about and I was so tired to play along. Except when it was about Aura. Her stuff didn’t annoy me nearly as much as the stuff of my school mates. I was kinda invested in that to be honest.”

“I know that with Daddy and Polly!” Trucy cried and laid her hands over her heart. “Their stuff is not annoying at all. I’m really glad for both of them and love to listen to them. Maybe also because I know uncle Miles and Klavier. And they’re both really great!”

Simon nodded at the excited commentary of Trucy and lightly laughed at her glowing eyes.

“Yes, they’re both really good people”, he agreed and got her to calm down with that.

“Yeah. They are. You and Klavier are good friends, right?”

Simon nodded and she continued: “Did you ever consider having a qpr with someone? With him as an example?”

“I didn’t really. When I was younger it never interested me and in – prison – I wasn’t looking for friends.”

“Understandable”, Trucy told him and folded her hands in front of her, “but as it is now? Could you imagine it today? With somebody?”

Simon paused for a long moment. He heard the cars drive by. The night air was thick with heat and dryness. He knew it shouldn’t calm him down, but it did.

“I’m open to it. If something actually was to happen, I wouldn’t say no, I suppose but otherwise… Prosecuting makes me happy and I like the way my life is right now. I don’t really need it.”

Trucy had perceived him subtly. He wasn’t lying. She hadn’t expected that but it was rather interesting how his eyes had wandered around. He had someone in mind.

She grinned. If it wasn’t the prince who had brighten up the second, he had seen Simon, she didn’t know who else it could be.

As they stood there in mutual silence, Trucy felt light and relieved. She felt comfort in Simon’s honesty and experience. It was nice to know you weren’t lonely.

Happily, she hugged him from the side and dragged him in direction of the restaurant. Confused he looked down to her.

Smirking she winked at him and said: “Well, if someone actually comes along, like Yuta to whom you have talked the whole evening and immediately noticed when you sneaked out, you really should try it out, I guess. You’re allowed to try out just as much as I am, right?”

Simon shook his head. Damned shall be the Gramaryes perception. He rolled his eyes and opened the door for her with the words: “Absolutely Miss Trucy, absolutely. I couldn’t have said it better.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19003753/chapters/45336103